#hotguy kin

[kinhelp-permitoffice]

Hero's code of conduct, explained by a vigilante

tips/advice for superhero sources, au's or conceptkins. Self-indulgent and requested by no-one. I might be a vigilante and not a hero in canon, but I know good rules when I see them.

Keep an eye on the city.

Seems like a big task, right? Surprisingly, it isn't. Going for a walk, stroll or mosey about of some kind each day and giving a good look around is a splendid way of keeping the streets safe.

Public image is important.

Your public image is arguably more important than the heroics of being a hero. Make sure to visit cafes, libraries, independent shops and communal events, either as a civilian or as your hero persona. A good connection to your local community is important.

See something? Say something.

You heroes have a reckless habit of deciding you can just butt in and stop crime whenever, wherever. Sorry to burst your bubble, but this could get you and the victims hurt! Instead, if you see something you should call for additional help from the authorities, 999 and 911 are your best friends here. If you can safely do so, try and get the victim and yourself away from the danger. Your first priority is saving the civilian, not fighting the villain.

Suits and costumes

No capes. Seems like a joke, but I'm being serious. Capes on a costume are easy to grab, snag and backfire. Theyre an easy way to get stuck or get in more trouble than you bargained for. A good costume is comfortable, cape-less, iconic and most of all- functional. If it's too tight, it's not functional. If you feel uncomfortable in it, it's not functional. If it hurts in any places, it's not functional. And if you don't like the way it looks, it's functional but it should be illegal. You have to like and feel comfortable in your suit for it to be anything, if you dont, then you better fix it.

Pockets are mandatory. (not joking)

Routine

You're expecting me to say something like schedule things or work out, right? Wrong. What keeps heroes on their feet is good damn food. Make sure you eat on time, don't skip anything. If you're hungry, eat, don't chicken out for any reason. One of the worst things you can do is restrict your diet, including restricting snacks. Instead of restricting you should be adding on to what you already eat. Things like avocado, eggs, carbs like pasta and potato, fish and most meats are gonna be your best friends forever! Sugars are good for energy, so on-hand snacks are a good for when you're on the go.

[frozenjokes]

Hey, I binged read your cubscar(ian) hotguy au

And I LOVED it,

Cub's characterization is so precious, he's so autistic to me (I'm autistic so I kin heavily) the way you write him, chef's kiss and all that. Is Cub Demi? xx

Scar is so strong and yet so broken but he doesn't know it yet, I'm so glad he's in therapy now <3. I love that you wrote him this way, he's disabled (just like me) but he's not a child, he's whimsy but so life smart, I value so much when authors write him like this and his plurality is very relatable <3. And his friendship with Mumbo <3

Grian, well he's just so real, his need for a job ever tho Cub was happy looking out for him <3, his friendship just reconnecting with Mumbo so easily, warmth. I love how self aware he is, and the angst you wrote for him is heart strings shattering I loved.

Cub and Grian's relationship ahhhhh yessss. The commitment and devotion, how they are so connected they didn't notice it sliding from platonic to romantic. This just IS for me.

Cub and Scar, well (yes again 🤣) they are so sweet, and Cub holds 51% of the cards lol but Scar's 49% is really doing things for Cub wink wink. Some of the reasoning behind Cub's love is being loved. And Scar loving him because of his round edges and softness 🥹

Scar and Grian. I hope the flowers he got for them were poppies and lilacs /lh /nf; Scar's fear because of his sharp edges, Scar in other works has his weakness but he can always find in in himself to want to protect Grian almost as a superior?, but you write Scar so vulnerable and equal to Grian. They are enemies to frenemies to ... But really it's caused by the lack of knowing, eachother and their personal experiences. Again Scar and his plural view of people <3 I think Grian thought of Scar as stronger emotionally, physically, mentally then Scar ever was, and Grian used him because of this misconception. I'm glad they're getting there, truly. Did Grian feel dejected? when Scar didn't help with his wings? Angst <3

thank you!!! Cub could be Demi. So could Grian! They can be whatever your heart desires. Personally I don’t care to label any of them because it isn’t very important to me. I do think Cub would refer to both Scar and Grian has his friends even after years of being together and it drives Scar absolutely nuts. Why are you doing that. What do you Mean. Cub it’s been twenty years you can introduce me as your boyfriend I Promise no one here is going to judge you and cub just goes: ? oh right. and then he never does that. the word friend just comes easier. it’s cozy.

It’s very silly to me you pointed out scar’s friendship with Mumbo because they are not friends scar is Coping. /silly. I actually forget very often I write a lot of angst of these characters because that’s just not really how my brain categorizes turmoil. It’s always a jumpscare to see it pointed out /light hearted, joking. funniest instance of this happening 🔽

(from chapter two of the Jimmy decked out fic)

I was on call with a friend while reading this for the first time and for the life of me I Could Not think of what /nf meant and he didn’t know either so we came up with some ideas: NOT FUNNY. no fingers. non fungible. nut fart. NO FUN. no friends. Nice feet. never forget. nice flowers. new friend! NOT FAIR

it means not forced. we had to look it up LMAO /silly silly silly. thank you for the laughs

Grian thought of scar as a piece of shit self absorbed celebrity and this is true however it’s not everything. inside is a deeply, deeply, extremely deeply, unimaginably kicked puppy. he’s sad and pathetic and has big wet eyes. also he cares.

Grian wasn’t too affected by Scar’s not wanting to touch his wings, and in general the experience was a little more overwhelmingly confusing? Neither he nor Cub expected him to have such a strong reaction, especially when things between all three of them are getting better, but Scar is still carrying the weight of a lot of Grian’s poor treatment of him for weeks on end, and even though Scar’s forgiven him and understands where he was coming from, those aren’t things you can just brush off, especially when many of Grian’s gestures (good and bad) are sweeping and intense and unpredictable, and people pleasing for someone as unstable as that (less so now, but before it was bad) is Extremely Stressful. dealing with cuteguy (evil version) for months beforehand Did Not Help. there’s a reason Scar views Grian as Sharp and that’s because they have both beat the piss out of each other hundreds of times.

To a point Grian is aware of this. It’s a thing he’s discussed in therapy a thousand times, and something he had to confront directly with Jimmy. In his eyes, his friendship with Scar (despite blunders on both sides) is an act of Scar’s good will towards him as given with Scar’s forgiveness, and if Scar is having problems, then it’s not really something Grian can hold against him. Obviously that doesn’t stop feelings from being hurt, but this was more a result of The Panic Attack than the wing touching refusal. Which Grian dealt with by Pushing Minigolf Pushing Pushing Pushing Pushing. Grian’s reaction to guilt and/or rejection is I NEED TO MAKE UP FOR THIS RIGHT MEOW!!!!! and in doing so often fails miserably to read the room, which is why Cub steps in in that particular instance.

as far as wings though, if I were Grian, scar would be The Last Person I want touching them. Clumsiest motherfucker alive who in the case of this au, tends to be rougher with his affection because he literally can not tell what is too little or too much. Having someone nervous at your back probably isn’t a great feeling either, and for an activity that’s supposed to be relaxing, Cub brings a Much steadier aura. Cub also has the capacity to focus. Scar would probably need at least three other sources of stimulation to do a good job. And it would still hurt. Regular wing grooming is not supposed to hurt 💔

my rambling service comes free, well, perhaps at a small cost of a seemingly benign question. normal about her ocs frozenjokes back at it again

[hccn-grapevine]

HotGuy: Hottest Topic of The Hottest Months

By The Little Prince

As our readers know, our beloved magazine had set up a poll looking for the identity of HotGuy. Theories, evidence, and debates had been presented, discussed, and dismissed. Our poll has long since closed, and I, for one, am greatly disappointed in our results.

As many of you know, HotGuy is a villain that has been targeting Scarland and its employees since the start of the season. It is, quite clearly, an act of sabotage by someone who's the best interest is for Scarland to fail, or perhaps be declared to be Not Scar Safe. After all, how can Scar build his base if it is not safe for him to do so?

So it truly comes as a surprise, readers, that Scar won by 5.1% more than the first runner-up. This poll's data is unusable as submitted evidence, due to the fact that Scar, who has never done anything wrong in his life ever, is being framed by the horrible villain behind HotGuy. We are sending him our regards, and hopes that justice may be served.

The first runner-up, however, is another masked crusader. Simply referred to as the man in the chicken suit, they took their place with 23.7% votes overall. This author discussed it with our coworkers, and here is the wildest realization: this, too, is a set up against Scar.

As many of you know, an ask had been sent to us, declaring the Scar is surely the Poultry Man due to an egg-shaped window found in his base. Disagreements arise within our ranks, but I am the writer and will declare this so: both the runner-up and the winner are false competitors, planted here by the minions of our infamous evildoer.

Not all hopes are lost, though, dear readers. An anonymous source had claimed that HotGuy has the greenest, most beautiful eyes they had ever seen. Many Hermits do in fact have green eyes, including our beloved Miss Cleo and of course dearest Miss GeminiSlay. Another reader brought up that HotGuy is quite possibly none of the Hermits, as there is a possibility for employees to spot a quick change or schedule matching up. People had also cited searching through Hermits whose PVP skills are quite renowned.

Scrolling through our blog will also show many other convincing arguments, and working through them might reveal something that will prove once and for all just who HotGuy truly is. Feel free to submit your own evidence too, for our ask and submission box is open 24/7.

This has been your Prince Charming, signing out!

Watcher Attack: A Possibility?

By The Garden Snake

Dear Readers,

It is with unfortunate news that this writer brings grim news to your doorstep. As of now, many things are still yet to be proven, but shall we truly wait for it to happen before we believe it? This writer does not believe so, and that is why I have brought this article to reality.

My dear readers, I was doing my business as usual when I had the strangest interaction. An injured person, with a deep, smooth voice and heavy steps, had approached my workplace. I did not notice the injury at first, too focused on other things, but the fear in my company's voice had gripped me and I listened to their sordid tale.

This person wishes to remain anonymous, and this writer is much obliged. The fact that whoever injured them is still out there is a reason to hide their identity, and we keep our people safe. And you, yes you, are ours, dear readers, and that is why I have asked them if I may share the warning to all of you.

My anonymous source, little birds, had told me that a group of Watchers and their kin had threatened them, and that this group is said to be attacking our dearest server. From what I've been told, my dear, is that there is a specific group that takes Players and mobs both, combining them in ways that harms the living being. Our source is one such being, and I grieve for them.

It is a desolate life, to be so harmed by people that brought you to existence.

Brought here to be nothing but weapons, to die for people who do not care about you at all. Readers, this writer is furious and upset. No one should have to live their lives with that kind of burden upon their shoulders.

Now, I shall close off this article with the imploration that you and yours be careful. We don't truly know what Watchers really are, but I have seen many come and go, talking of Watchers that cling and drag them from their homes kicking and screaming only to be unmade then remade into something in the Watcher's image.

Kindly, dear readers, this writer wishes you safety and protection.

Trouble in Tumble Town?

By Rosa Lupine

Beloved readers Hermitcraft citizens! I’m sure many of you have heard of and keep up with news of our neighboring server, Empires SMP! We love to hear of the events our clever friends come up with! Not to mention updates on those gorgeous builds! However, is the news as accurate, as truthful as it would like us to think?

We all remember the gossip about Emperors Jimmy Solidarity of Tumble Town and Joel Lore of Stratos being at odds, a feud so intense they even went to court over it! While these Emperors have set aside their differences and agreed to move forward as allies, is that all there is to this story?

Readers, I’m sure you remember when the Rift was active and many of our own dear Hermits spent time in the Empires SMP. It was such a relief when they came home! However, rumours abound that it wasn’t just Hermits that returned! And I’m talking about before the Emperors came for a visit of their own!

You can imagine my surprise, dear readers, when our very own iJevin came home with a child. Now, I’m not one to judge, and if our local slime would like to branch into parenthood, then our congratulations to him! However, according to my source, things are a bit more complicated!

You see, Emperor Joel has a habit of making children at a whim, the eldest of whom he shares custody with Emperor Sausage of Sanctuary over. While all evidence points to the eldest being well loved and an absolute darling, dear readers I can’t help but wonder about some of the others.

For example, the child that came home with our very own iJevin. Named Tiny Tom, the child is sweet as honey and cute as a button! But a brief conversation with Jevin himself revealed that this little darling was born as a gift. Who in the void thinks that a child is a good gift?!

Well, that would be Emperor Joel Lore of Stratos himself. Perhaps immortality and godhood lead one to thinking differently, but this author can’t imagine creating the joy of life and then giving it away! How cruel! Especially towards the child’s other father, Sheriff Emperor Jimmy Solidarity.

Dear readers, I cannot imagine how that poor man must feel, knowing his child is out there somewhere, knowing they were given away, allegedly against your own wishes!

This author readily believes that if you or a loved one has been surprised with a child by Emperor Joel, you should immediately contact your lawyer about child support! Not only does he need, in this author’s opinion, to face the consequences of his actions, but raising a demigod is hard work!

Sheriff Jimmy Solidarity could not be reached for comments, but several brave anonymous citizens of Tumble Town were kind enough to reach out!

“Oh! You’re writing about Joel’s legion of kids? [Author gives affirmative] Aw, Jimmy and Joel's secret seventeen children that got kidnapped by the Tumble Town bandits will be so happy to get the attention!”

“Kids? Oh, yeah, Hermes is a sweet kid. Oh, the Sheriff’s? I thought that was just a rumor. I can’t believe that god would be so irresponsible.”

“This is anonymous, right? Okay, good. In my opinion this whole servers gotten a bit kid crazy. It’s a lot of magic and high emotions and while I’m glad most of them are stepping up, it’s feeling a little… well, attention grabby. Not a great motive for having kids.”

Caretaker of the Dragon

By Songbird

Dearest Readers,

A lively rumour has been circulating around the server this past week involving those who work for our local Pesky Bird. It seems he has found a way to duplicate the dragon egg and now has far too many to manage!

Various citizens have been spotted going home with their new bundle of joy rather excitedly, but one citizen in particular piqued our interest. Unlike the others, Avid - someone who is known for his fear of Grian - came home with many dragon eggs.

Of the numerous questions that arise from such an occurrence, the main one this author is trying so desperately to figure out is: why? Why would he be trusted with such a task? Does he have horrid plans for the unborn dragons and lied his way into receiving them? Or does he have experience with Ender Dragon Eggs already?

Given that Avid is in fact a dragon himself it is not unlikely that he has some experience caring for such eggs. Yet, him being different species may lead to nesting mishaps or untaken cautionary actions. Of course, that may not be the case at all. Perhaps Avid does have knowledge of taking care of the Ender Dragon.

As we all know, the Hermits have to reset The End once all End Cities are raided, so the egg must be taken care of until they're ready for a new dragon. Do they all simply take time out of their days to care for the egg? Or have they secretly hired one of our fellow citizens for the task?

Avid does not have a defined job across the seasons like some of us, just doing what is needed. His base is unknown to this author, and he has never been spotted actually working thus far. What if he is the caretaker of the egg, looking after it in secret? It is the rarest item in the game, after all. One would not want word spreading that they control something so special, and so deadly.

It would explain why he is so easily trusted by Grian's affiliates. All of their worries about the excess of dragon eggs would disappear in an instant if he told them that he can care for the dragon eggs and make sure they're not scrambled.

Yet, then again, perhaps they simply wanted to be rid of the extra and dumped them on the first person they came across…

Who's that War Criminal?

By The Little Prince

As days passed since I had ended up in the Hermitcraft Server, a daunting realization had come to me. A feeling of equal parts dread, fear, wariness, and excitement settled upon my shoulders as I became more familiar with the citizens.

Today, I will bring you a story of someone who now lives on this server. You may or may not know them, and I encouraged you to discuss it in our asks and reblogs. Those who come close to the truth might find surprises waiting for them.

Before you continue, I must warn you: the rumour I bring forth today is not for the faint of heart! There will be graphic description of gore, and an on-screen minor character death. Dear readers, it sends shivers down my spine! Be careful, and do not read if it will make you uncomfortable.

[The Monster of Grief and Misery]

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

The sound echoes throughout the cave, echoing in the almost empty room. A blank faced, wooden doll sits upon a throne, vine-like hair spreading across the floor and climbing up the walls. Dead trees scatter, some uprooted and some not. The leaves, long fallen off the branches, do not rot.

Red stains everything, bloody and true. Corpse hangs from the branches, impaled, eyes still open with terror and jaw hanging as victims gasped for air that did not come. Skeletons of long dead patriots decorate the ground, their flesh long since consumed by the roots that strangled them.

Some bodies, still almost fresh, rots. Torn inside out, forever screaming, hands outstretched for mercy they will not have.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

C R A C K

The sound of a branch breaking seems to breathe life in the dead place, and the doll looks up. Bares teeth slow and steady, revealing sharp teeth covered in viscera. It shakes, something wrathful and aching in almond eyes.

A man steps through the entrance, a sword in hand. He snarls, voice terrified but determined to do justice by his own hands, "you! The monster - I had come for your head. Your reign stops now."

The doll sneers, and raises its hand, movement stiff and stilted. The man only had time to step back before a branch burst from the ground, sharpened wood digging into the soft flesh of his stomach. The sword falls into the ground with a heavy clang, iron against stone. The sound echoes, then fades.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Blood drips from the freshly made corpse, and that is the only sound allowed here, after all.

[END]

What a terrifying rumour! To think that something so cold-blooded exists with us - but oh, who are we to judge?

Disclaimer: Any and all stories here may or may not be exaggerated or understated. The Grape Vine holds no accountability on what you find in the Rabbit Hole.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

The Grapevine Magazine is happy to announce that this Wednesday, another poll will be put up! This poll will decide which Hermit is most likely to start a war; a fitting contest for what happened in the recent time! Submit your Hermit and some propaganda now! Submissions, asks, and reblogs are all acceptable forms of submitting your nominee, so don't miss out!

[hermitcraftkinfessions]

i haven't even seen s9 and yet, i have a mumbo kin!!! its not even a canon one!!

anyway, im shaking HoTGuY and CuteGuy, you guys are my worst nightmare!! /pos /aff

i just wanted to come back from my break (i never technically left) and interact with everyone else like a normal hermit. now ive been pulled into utter chaos. again!! i barely came back and suddenly im stuck in a skirt following G and Scar around!! i love them, but i didn't even get a chance to pretend to be a member of hermit society. (not be confused with normal society. we are in no way normal society /lh /pos)

- Mumbo Jumbo, or as i was called in my uniform, BabyGirl

i went on a trip irl and called both of our friends bbg a ton so now it’s been intergrated into my vocabulary help me -mod ex

[105ttt]

Hey y’all here’s a cursed idea:

A new YA novel set in a dystopian society where the government assigns you a kin at age 16. The social classes are defined by what your kinnie is in canon. People whose kinnies are protagonists are the highest social class, while people whose kinnies are villains or bad people are the lowest. After receiving your kinnie at age 16, you are forced to act exactly like your kinnie does in canon, and anyone who refuses to conform is deemed a “fake” and sent to prison “for kinnie crimes”. You are also forced to go through painful ominous surgeries to make yourself look as much like your kinnie as possible, and if your kinnie has a canon spouse or romantic partner, you are forced to marry someone who kins that partner. Your relationships, your appearance, your personality, your very identity - all must match your kinnie’s, lest you be imprisoned and are never heard from ever again (the government claims this is to prevent “problematic doubles”). People in this society are usually complacent about it, but not Whitebrunettegirl McCishet. On her fateful 16th birthday, she received one of the worst possible kinnies anyone can receive: Nagito Komaeda. Before she is taken into surgery to become an ugly twink, she fights back and escapes. Now, together with her boyfriend she met five minutes ago, Waytoooldforher Hotguy (a Sans Undertale kinnie), she’s creating an uprising against the kinnie government and wants to expose its horrors to the world. Read about Whitebrunettegirl’s adventure in the hottest book of the year: Government-Assigned Kin.

[kinhelp-permitoffice]

Hotguy moodboard for anon! Art by Kitsuneisi

[kinhelp-permitoffice]

Hello! Would like to ask that the hotguy stuff is re-tagged as fictive (system! Some of us do kin, and we'll specify when it is! /g) and also, are you alright with doing yhs or ts request? (And agere themed reqs?) /nfta-🎪

Ofcourse, I'll retag it right away! Agere themed requests are completely welcomed, this question has also reminded me ill have to specify this blog is agere friendly in the intro post. Also I apologise but im quite slow when it comes to abbreviations of any sort, so you might have to specify what those two mean (/nf) ^^" if theyre sources/medias of some kind than ofc I can! But if its a specific sort of request format i might take a hot minute to learn it!