#horses hate sooga

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Love and gratitude to the Yiga scribe ❤️I am another person who finds comfort in imagining Sooga taking care of me. I've been a bit crushed by some events today. Any chance I could get a little something of Kohga just.... breaking down in tears over something and Sooga comforting him with tea and hugs? No rush, it will be worth waiting (and smiling) for ❤️

I was gonna wait on this one in favor of something else rather saucy, but you sound like you kinda need it, so let’s go!

“Nope. Nope. Fuck you, fuck this, go to hell.”

Sooga was just sitting there in meditation, with Kohga reading his new book, when he suddenly threw his book on the floor, pouting something fierce. Sooga looked at him from his spot on the floor (Kohga always had the bed, while Sooga preferred a small cushion in the corner of the room), clearly concerned.

“Master Kohga? What happened?”

“Celtra is a BITCH! She comes in here, after YEARS of not being in Burlon’s life, and just? Steals my girl’s man? And what she did to Bon Bon?! I CAN’T!”

He watched as Kohga flopped face first onto his bed, banging his fists on the pillows. Kohga always got rather invested in his books, and Sooga thought to leave him be, when he noticed there was sniffing. Master Kohga was...crying? Oh no. He got up from his spot, and walked out of the room. He knew exactly what he needed. As always, a little snack, and some tea, did a world of wonders. Hell, he made it himself (the tea, not the cookies. His were always too hard). He brought it back to the room, lightly nudging Kohga.

“I brought you tea and cookies.”

Kohga sniffed again, hugging that pillow for dear life. Sooga sighed, put the tray on the nightstand, and sat down on the bed.

“Master Kohga? Can you please tell me what exactly upsets you? You know it hurts my heart to see you upset, even for just a moment.”

Kohga got up, wiping his mask with the back of his hand.

“You wouldn’t even get it if I told you, Sooga.”

“But you’d feel better explaining it. I’d like to try.”

Sooga hoisted him onto his lap, and rested his chin on his Master’s chin. That seemed to give him permission to cry a bit more, making it a BIT hard to hear him, but Sooga didn’t care in the slightest.

“Okay so. Celtra is the lost mother of Burlon right? She got rid of her because she like, grew up poor. So she finds her again when she gets to be an adult, and gets super jealous that she’s in a relationship with the duke. So here she is, acting like she owns the joint, and on the day of the WEDDING, tries to off her horse! And I didn’t even know if Bon Bon survived because the book is on a cliffhanger, but dammit the part where Burlon looked into Bon Bon’s eyes...it was a lot for me honestly.”

Sooga had no clue who these people were, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that Kohga was feeling a heavy, sad emotion. Sooga wrapped his arms tightly around Kohga, making sure he felt nice and snuggly.

“I don’t fully understand, but I do in fact hope...I’m sorry what was the horse’s name again?”

“Bon Bon.”

“Yes, Bon Bon. I hope Bon Bon is fine.”

Kohga grumbled angrily again, even as Sooga wrapped him up in a blanket, like a burrito.

“May I ask...just why does this hurt you so?”

“Look, I’m invested in the story. That and...well. I like horses. A lot. My mother always had one, so now I take horse stuff personally. Especially Bon Bon. Bon Bon came back from the DEAD to help Burlon find her love in the Valley of Ashes, you best believe Imma care about that stupid horse.”

Sooga was getting more and more lost. But he could tell the story (as well as horses) meant something to Kohga. He leaned over, grabbed a cup of tea, and put it in his hands.

“Here. Just hold onto this for a moment. Holding onto something warm will help you relax. I’m very sorry it made you so sad.”

Sooga leaned down to peck his forehead, and Kohga’s tears seemed to have stopped, but he still pouted and sniffled.

“It helps. A little. Why you smiling?”

“I just..thought all you read was smut. I’m quite surprised to see you reading something that gave you feelings. It’s...cute.”

“What, you don’t think I have feelings?”

Kohga looked at him in accusation, and Sooga laughed a bit, shaking his head.

“No, no, not at all. I just mainly see lust from you. It’s...sweet, seeing you emote something else. You really give me more reasons to love you.”

“Such a sap, just like the damn duke.”

Kohga grumbled, pushing his face away, but very weakly. Sooga loved the small smile on his face, and it made his heart thump in his chest.

“Is the duke as love sick for...what’s her name?”

“Burlon. And yeah, he’s just as lovesick as you. Wanted to marry her since he saw her at the party. Took her forever to wear her down. Two books, actually.”

“What convinced her?”

“Bon Bon chose him.”

Sooga cocked his head a bit as Kohga sipped at his hot tea.

“Wait, the HORSE said to marry him?”

“Yeah the horse is like, magic essentially. If a horse told me to marry a guy, I know I would.”

Sooga sat there for a moment in thought, before an idea popped into his head.

“Would you marry me if I got you a horse?”

“...MAYBE. If it was a super special horse. I don’t want any run of the mill horse. I wanna make every horse jealous.”

“I can get a horse as beautiful and as lovely as you, Master Kohga.”

Sooga buried his lips in his neck, and Kohga blessed him with an honest, true laugh.

“God Sooga, knock it off! You absolute sap! Get off!”

Kohga’s laugh was worth everything. Right now, Kohga’s comfort was everything. Next?

Getting a goddamn horse.

[fatefulfaerie]

Mortality

Zelink Week 2021 prompt #7/7 @zelinkweek2021

Word Count: 3,684

Incarnation: Breath of the Wild 2 (pre)

Additional Prompts Followed: Forsaken Fates, Lost Eternities

Inspired by this art by @morniae

A big thank you to @braidy-maidy and @linktheacehero for beta-ing!!

He wasn’t expecting a fairytale reunion as his horse trotted slowly, arriving at the Forgotten Temple with next to no fanfare. All sorts of geniuses from every race of Hyrule had gathered to study this place, to pull it from its lost state and unearth its secrets, to discover the reason behind its eternity and maybe even why its fate was to be forsaken and forgotten to all of history.

Link left his horse with the many others that were being cared for on the left side of the canyon and began to navigate the ruckus on foot. It seemed crowds of scientists and historians alike were out here securing their tents, making food, and languishing in a well-deserved rest. Link felt as if he stuck out like a sore thumb with his small brain, but no one paid him any mind, not even her.

In fact, she was nowhere to be found.

Perhaps he was expecting some fairytale reunion as he peered his head around every Sheikah, Goron, Rito, Zora, and Hylian in sight. He didn’t care that there was no fanfare, in fact, that may have made it even harder to spot her if it were a big deal that the hero of Hyrule had arrived. Thank Hylia these ruins were more interesting, that no crowd had congealed into a true tidal wave of obstacles. He missed her dearly, after all, no matter how short a time two weeks was in comparison to a hundred years.

He made his way all the way to the shrine in the back when he finally saw her. Zelda smiled when she spotted him and bounded over, clutching the Sheikah Slate.

“Thank the goddesses you’re here,” she said, pecking his cheek. “They haven’t made anything good for dinner in days.”

She walked right past him. Link’s mouth popped open as she practically flew to another inscription of the ruins being studied. Purah, following close behind Zelda, approached Link as he looked over.

“Two weeks she hasn’t seen me and I get a colder welcome than ten thousand year old ruins.”

Purah clicked her tongue and began to cross past Link.

“Sounds like you better get cooking.”

And so he didn’t see his blur of a girlfriend until dinner, when he was serving a ladle-full of meat stew to everyone who passed by with a bowl, salty chunks of meat and sweet carrots swimming in a broth that radiated a scrumptious scent for at least a mile.

The last person he served came up wearing a forehead beaded with sweat and sticky blonde hair from a hard-days work. As she approached, she lightly hit the empty wooden bowl against her hand, and pursed her lips taut with eyes almost apologetic. Her steps shuffled in the sand.

“Look who it is,” Link said before she could muster an apology. He looked more amused than upset, anyway. Zelda sat on her heels in front of the cooking pot and handed him her bowl.

“Sorry,” she said, “it was just a busy day. We think we’re close to finding--”

Link and Zelda’s eyes met. They both knew what she was going to say. The entrance to the caves. The hidden reason why this expedition was such an extensive operation. Only Purah and Impa knew the true reason, after all. Everyone else was just here for research. Bless their hearts.

They knew they needed to find it, but not finding it meant more of an excuse to not go down there.

Yet.

To not let go of the illusion of peace.

Yet.

To not face their mortality once again.

Not yet.

Link looked down to pour soup in her bowl. With everyone else fed--and Zelda more than likely went to the back of the line on purpose so that she would be the last one to eat--Link poured himself a bowl as well. They soon sat down in front of Zelda’s tent.

“When are Impa and Paya arriving?” Link asked.

“Tonight,” Zelda replied, but she swallowed hard, regretting taking another spoonful with a “mm”. 

“Oh my gosh I almost forgot!” she said enthusiastically. “You should have seen it, Link. The reunion between Purah and Robbie? They just marched up to each other, both short, old, and wrinkled, said each other’s names and walked off. It’s hard to believe they used to be lovers.”

Link choked on his stew.

“What?”

“Did I not...mention that?”

Link was still coughing, eyes tearing up.

“No?” He croaked, before coughing a couple more times. “You’d think I would remember something like that.”

“Believe me I wish I didn’t,” she said, before changing the subject. “Oh yeah, how did the meeting go?”

“Horrible,” Link said between spoonfuls.

“What do you mean?” Zelda inquired, slightly disappointed. She had hoped diplomacy would work.

“If I had known that Kohga had an eight year-old hiding somewhere in that hideout, I never would have attacked him,” Link started. “Apparently we needed him to keep his son in check. The kid is so hell-bent on revenge that he didn’t even read the treaty. He’s determined to hunt us down until the end of our days. Even his guards think he’s taking it a bit far. I could see it in their faces when Sooga was going on and on about his forces being strong and ready to fight. Those poor men and women are tired.”

“I thought the Yiga wore masks?”

Link shook his head.

“Not anymore,” he replied. “Sooga wants them to be proud of themselves, whatever that means. Goddesses, that whole meeting was like getting a child to eat their vegetables. I’m pretty sure Riju was about to slap him at the end, the little runt recycling the dogmas of the Yiga that are ten thousand years old now. Even when I ask him why he said such things about Hylians, he doesn’t give a straight answer. He knows less about history than I do and I had amnesia. He’s just been conditioned, raised to hate.”

“That’s unfortunate, but not hopeless,” Zelda said. “I’m sure Riju and the rest of the Gerudo will be able to work it out if the entirety of the clan no longer backs him. Is there any danger until then?”

Link shook his head and swallowed his current spoonful.

“Not yet,” he said once he could. “The only reason they haven’t attacked here is because he wants to find the entrance of the caves as much as we do. He didn’t say it outright, but he’s waiting for us to do it for him.”

“That’s not frightening at all,” she said sarcastically. “We’ll have to increase security when we do eventually go down there, make sure he doesn’t follow us.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it, Zelda,” Link said. “He’s only eight years old, and he’s pretty short and lean.”

Zelda smiled as she sipped her soup.

“I remember a little eight year old like that who could best adult knights,” she said with a smirk. “People say he saved Hyrule.”

“Really?”

“Never grew an inch after eight years old though.”

Link scoffed.

“I can and will pour the rest of this stew over your head,” he said as he held it up. Zelda laughed, but put her arms out in defense.

“Don’t you dare!” She exclaimed. She stood up and began to back away “I’m a princess!”

“Not anymore,” Link said, forgetting about the soup and tackling her. They wrestled playfully, rolling down the rocky slope and laughing joyfully until they stopped suddenly in a gulch, Zelda hovering over Link and sharing with him panting breaths.

“I win,” she said.

“By chance,” Link argued. He brought a hand up and lightly coaxed her head to lower. It, however, did not take much effort, as Zelda more than willingly met his lips to his, exploring his mouth and enjoying the sensation. She felt her cheeks warm. Kissing was all they had ever done, so being flush to him was frankly exhilarating, but she didn’t mind it in the slightest.

They both heard the reigns of horses, the clatter of a covered wagon, the jingle of Kakariko-style bells, but it blended too much into the rest of the ruckus for them to think anything of it.

“Paya, you brought us to the wrong place,” Impa said. “I wanted to go to the research expedition, not a mating ritual exhibition.”

Zelda pushed herself off Link and attempted to fix her hair, composing herself as best she could. Link stood up, but he let his messy hair be.

“H-hey Impa,” Zelda said, walking towards her oldest friend. Despite her feeble frame and short stature, Impa hopped off the wagon like a child. “How was the trip?”

“Long,” Impa said, bruskly.

“She’s a bit cranky,” Paya explained as she stepped off and started to untie the two brown horses from the wagon. “Where do these go?”

“Over there,” Link said, pointing over to the mini-stable on the left of the canyon. “And your tent is the one next to ours. If you’re hungry, there’s probably some stew left.”

“Please,” Impa said, allowing the young man to lead the way to the appropriate cooking pot. She even let him help her walk when the terrain wasn’t the smoothest.

They had left Zelda alone, but it gave her the opportunity to help Paya with unloading the wagon, and to catch up with one of her newer friends before they all turned in for the night.

Zelda was surprised to find Paya as reserved as she was when they first met, but after a bit of grilling she admitted to Zelda that Impa had told her of their true purpose here, that sealing Calamity Ganon may not have been an ending they could trust. Her red eyes were sad and apologetic for learning the secret but Zelda wouldn’t have it, insisting to Paya that it was okay, that it won’t be a secret for long, and that Hyrule was going to be okay.

That last one was a lie Zelda thought about well into the night.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Zelda.”

He opened his eyes to the dark tent, the edge where tan cloth met a small patch of dry grass.

Link couldn’t believe a whisper was what woke him up. Still half awake and already turned away from the center flap of the tent, he kept his eyes closed, hoping he could doze off again.

“Zelda, wake up.”

Someone gently shook Zelda’s foot, and Link guessed the voice belonged to Paya.

Link felt Zelda’s arms slide away from holding him and he tried to slow his breaths. They both would feel so guilty for waking him.

“What is it?” Zelda asked, the rustling that followed suggesting that she got out of the tent. “Should I wake up Link?”

Paya must have shaken her head, or said something to suggest that it wouldn’t be necessary, because that was the last Link heard of the conversation.

He inwardly wrestled with the decision to get up anyway since he was, in fact, awake, but his comfort insisted otherwise and he drifted off before he made up his mind.

“Link.”

The sunlight was bright, even through the dulled filter of the canvas tent.

He felt Zelda’s hand on his shoulder, and he rolled over at the gentle prompt. Link found her green eyes.

“We found it,” she said. “An entrance to the caves.”

Link closed one eye and scrunched up his face. Zelda knew he did that when he was both tired and confused but with his messy bedhead she saw it as adorable.

Link moved his arm to the other, pinching his own skin somewhere around the wrist and, once he felt pain, his entire body sighed exasperated. He faced the top of the tent and closed his eyes far too tight to go back to sleep.

He opened the blue gems one at a time and took a deep breath.

“I assume we are leaving as soon as possible?”

Zelda nodded.

Link didn’t say another word when he got up and started getting ready, almost ignoring Zelda and how she sat on her heels in her own silent and undetectable bout of sadness. He even left her there in the tent but Zelda let him have his space, let him breathe his last breaths in this wild, fresh air, let him hear the birds and see the sun before she dragged him down to hell, back down to war, back down to fear and panic and worry and trauma and everything he had worked so hard to heal from.

It wasn’t until they were several steps into the caves that his stoicism really started to wear at her. One statement and all of him was left in the tent. He just…walked, looking forward, not saying a word. Zelda hated it as much as she did a hundred years ago. She tried to remember that he wasn’t really mad at her back then, so he couldn’t be mad at her now…

Right?

She looked over at his profile again.

Right?

“Link?”

The hooves of the large, blue ox behind them clapped along.

“I, uh…” she began when he gave no response. “I’m sorry about all this.”

“It’s not your fault,” Link said quickly and briskly.

Zelda’s lips parted. Her pacing slowed to a halt. If she hadn’t stopped pulling the ox along, it would have rammed into her.

Link looked over his shoulder when he realized he was the only one moving, turning around completely to see Zelda with a slightly furrowed brow.

“Why don’t I believe you?” Zelda asked.

He decided to look elsewhere as he hugged his arms close, the stone ground, the cavernous chasm above them, the rocky wall, anywhere but Zelda.

“I’m not mad at you, I...” he said quietly, “I’m just feeling a little off, okay?” He said quietly. “I had trouble breathing when I left the tent this morning.”

Zelda’s expression softened. She closed the distance between them and attempted to comfort him with a hand on his shoulder.

“You could have told me that,” Zelda said. “I’m nervous too. We have a right to be. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Yet Link still refused to look up.

“I almost collapsed, I felt so weak,” Link said. “The dread, the fear of facing it all again, the thought of losing you…it gathered, I felt it here.”

He placed a hand on his chest and he started to pant. His fingers began to clutch at the brown leather, the blue cloth and he stumbled to his knees.

“Link!” Zelda exclaimed as she grabbed him under his forearms, kneeling down with him. His breaths were shaky and fast, and he stared down at the ground.

“Link,” she repeated. “Link.”

The next sound from Link was the combination of a spurt of fresh paint and a croaking frog, warm vomit spilling from his mouth in smelly chunks of beef and carrots. It was instinct that Zelda stood up with a yelp and backed away with arms floating up, the gathering of vomit ending up mere inches from her toes. If she had stayed where she was, her pants would have been covered in Link’s partly-digested dinner.

“Oh gosh, Link,” she said once she got over the shock, rushing to his side and drawing circles on his back. He didn’t react though, only staring at the mess on the floor with his weight on his hands.

Zelda’s eyes stung with tears as she ran her fingers through his hair, some drops even lopping onto Link’s mess. She held him as best she could while still giving him the distance he needed, but that could never stop her from the occasional kiss on the side of his head and whispering sweet assurances of love into his right ear.

After a couple fruitless lurches of his back and neck, Link hurled a second time. As ironic as it was for her to hope for anything from the goddess anymore, Zelda prayed it was the last one.

“Zelda,” he said between heavy breaths. It was apparent his lungs were exhausted. He coughed a couple times.

Link looked into Zelda’s eyes, finally, although they veered towards horror, the green marbles conveying desperation for how to relieve this poor young man.

“I know,” she said, trying to smile. She wiped away Link’s tears. “I know.”

Wary of the mess near them, she brought him into a proper embrace, rocking him back and forth and holding him in such a way that she was sure he knew he was held. She wasn’t sure how secure he could feel on the cusp of embarking into danger, but she would try her best.

“I’m scared, too,” she said. “Down here is an untouched wild that was left alone for a reason we know not of. Nothing is scarier than the unknown, especially for us who have been hurt again and again by the unknown. Hope has betrayed us too much for us to readily depend on it, but we have to try.”

Link looked up, tilting his head to see her.

“How?”

Zelda lips parted. She stammered speechlessly. He seemed so hurt by her hopefulness.

“Together,” she said, attempting to fake her confidence. There was still a small question mark at the end of her statement that she didn’t mean to expose.

Link stood up and faced away from her. He crossed his arms.

“Do you know how long a version of Ganon has been terrorizing Hyrule?” Link asked. “How long he has been reincarnating?”

Zelda, who was now sitting on her heels, shook her head.

“No,” she said honestly.

“Do you know what makes us any different from the people who tried to stop him in the past?”

“No,” Zelda repeated, again, honestly.

Link nodded.

“I don’t either,” he said. “And that scares me.”

Zelda stood up.

“Link, we—”

“I can’t lose you!” Link exclaimed, turning around quickly. “I ignored it, okay?! All this time when you talked about there being caves, there being another journey, I ignored it! I put it off! I casted it aside! I focused on us.” His voice broke. “I thought that was all there would ever be…”

He placed his hands on his hips and collected himself.

“This morning it all collapsed,” he said. “Right before my eyes. Everything I could have ever hoped for.”

Zelda scoffed.

“Do you think I was happy to have found these caves?” Zelda asked rhetorically. “To have been woken up in the middle of night and told that this place I saw in my nightmares was indeed real, that I was to investigate a threat that hasn’t been faced in ten thousand years of Hyrule birthing warriors more capable than you? I had to keep a straight face, but Link, I wanted to scream so loud that even Lurelin could hear me!”

Zelda released her residual anger at the world in heavy pants of her breaths. Once she sighed herself calm, she snagged a small rag from the heaps of resources strapped to the patient and by now likely deaf ox.

Zelda stepped forward and washed Link’s stunned face clean of vomit.

“Then I thought of our future,” Zelda continued. “I was angry because coming down here means jeopardizing that. I scorned myself for how selfish that was. I told myself that this wasn’t about me and you, that this is about a peaceful Hyrule. That helped but...do you want to know what really helped?”

“What?” Link asked.

“The people of Hyrule want to live in peace, and so do we. They want to raise families without worrying about another Calamity.” Zelda smiled. “I think we do too, when the time comes.” She perished the thought. That was a long while down the road. “But this isn’t just about a peaceful Hyrule, it’s about our peaceful Hyrule. I’m no longer a princess, distanced from others by a pedestal, and you are no longer a knight, distanced from others by a sword. We actually feel like a part of Hyrule this time. Of course we loved the Champions, my father, but we aren’t acting as Hyrule’s weapons anymore. We don’t feel like cards to be discarded or pawns to be knocked off in a game of chess. All of this is voluntary. We can’t blame a kingdom or a calamity this time. The possibility of losing each other is already giving us stomach-churning guilt because no one told us to go down here. We came down here because we want to preserve peace for all of us, preserve peace beyond even our lifetimes.”

Zelda placed a hand on Link’s cheek.

“And we will,” she said. “We have to believe we will. If we don’t think we’ll get out of here, then there is no chance we will. This is our first on-our-own decision and it’s a damn risky one. We can always turn back if--”

“No,” Link interrupted.

Link’s hand went to hers and his thumb stroked her soft fingers.

“No,” he repeated, however shakily. “We are going through with this. I just need to process it, that’s all. I didn’t think we would actually be doing this. I think we both held on to the fantasy of peace. I definitely held on to it too much.”

He finally let her touch soothe him.

“I’m here,” Zelda assured him softly. “I’m right here.”

She took his hand and placed it on her heart, the rhythm of which pulsated through his own veins.

“I’m not supposed to be alive right now,” Zelda said. “I should have died an eighty year old queen about thirty years ago but here we both are, young and spry. These caves are filled with dangers we don’t know, but with my heart in your hands and your heart in mine I know we can dare to do the impossible again.”

Link met his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. He tried to breathe the way she was, to feel her calm and to adapt it into his own body.

“Okay,” he said. “I’m ready.”

[ezlo-x]

What are the yiga like in your au? And is Astor involved in any way?

Astor does not exist at all in my au (I hate his ass but that's a story for another day) but the Yiga,,,cringe ass nae nae people u_u

jokes aside they're an absolute menace to not only the Gerudo and Sheikah but to almost everyone, especially wandering travelers. They mug clueless travelers of everything from ruppees to goods that they had. Even at points stealing their rides from horses, mules, and oxes. Travelers who attempt to fight back don't always come back successful.

Kohga does not fight typically, but when he does he's very agile and clever with with his attacks. Though he would make his clan fight for him, and also Sooga exists. Sooga is absolutely terrifying to deal with and shows no mercy at all. The Sheikah fear him specifically due to his lack of empathy and great loyalty he has towards Master Kohga.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Has Sooga and the chu chus. Have the chu chus-

Look there was ONE incident where Sooga got attacked by a group of chuchus. It was a group of the big ones and things just kinda. Happened. For some reason backup hesitated to help him and just kinda watched as they. Crept into places- look he doesn't like talking about it.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Headcanons for anyone that you didn't get to talk about? Maybe Kohga or Sooga specifically?

Sure??? Guess I can think of a few that I might've never shared?

The oldest out of ALL the characters (in terms of aoc) goes in this order, from oldest to youngest: Ganon, The great Fairies, Moz Koshia, Master Kohga, Hetsu, Rhoam, Urbosa, Daruk, Mipha, Revali, Sidon, Teba, Sooga, Impa, Purah, Robbie, Link, Yunobo, Zelda, and Riju (if you kinda want an age for Cil and Von, just Know Cil is just slightly older than Urbosa, while Von is about the same age as Link, if a pinch older).

Sooga loves all kind of fish. His favorite is salmon, and his least favorite is snails (though he'll still eat it).

Kohga's favorite non banana food is crispy pork belly, preferably with a side of some kind of mushrooms.

Zelda enjoys not only horse racing, but horse pageantry. Her horse has won plenty of well earned trophies, and many are just from how well groomed he is.

Link, if he's not doing anything, WILL be sleeping. He can sleep pretty much any time anywhere. Once, he was asleep standing up. Sooga does it too, actually.

Yunobo has allergies- he can't be near silent princesses. He accidentally sneezed at one of Zelda's- he destroyed it, and felt really bad about it.

Revali has the opposite of performance anxiety. If he has no one to show off to, he struggles to perform even the most simple shots. He really hates how much he needs people.

Rhoam hates bananas. But not for the reasons you think.

Urbosa's favorite color is black/gold.

Mipha still tucks Sidon into bed, and will in fact, read him a story if he asks.

Daruk is a part of Zelda's book club, but only in support. He doesn't get the poetry or symbolism. But no one minds teaching him and explaining, because he's eager to learn.

Riju can and will braid anyone's hair- ask Sooga, he let's her play with his hair all the time. Wants to braid Cil's, but he keeps saying no. For now.

Robbie is possibly the most accident prone, if for the sake of science.

Teba absolutely loves his wife to absolute bits. He doesn't show it, but you can tell he does, given how often he cooks for her.

Purah is double jointed- and Impa hates how she moves her arms and shit.

Von loves being a Yiga, but he's constantly taking off his mask and shit- he thinks he's too pretty for this bullshit. He's good at not getting caught though.

Maz Koshia just. Fucking pops out of nowhere. You don't see him for a few days and suddenly he's in your shower. Why? Because fuck you that's why.

Impa loves foxes more than anything. Something about the eyes.

Link has no shame. Kohga dared him to go into a store with just his underwear, and he absolutely did.

Sooga can sculpt, but Cil is quite the jewler. He makes all types of accessories, with hair pins being his favorite. They're quite lovely, actually.

Hetsu can't whistle, and is jealous that Link can.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

You established in some older posts that horses love Kohga, but hate Sooga. How would a meeting between the two of them and Malanya go?

I've kinda addressed this before in a long ago ask? But Kohga and Malanya get along like two peas in a pod! Seriously they're tight like Mipha and Kohga. But he just. God he hates Sooga. He has literally said

"Had it not been for Kohga, I would've trampled you with my FUCKING hooves".

And Sooga hadn't said ONE word. For some reason, only one hooved species likes Sooga- and that's stalhorses. For some reason, stalhorses LOVE Sooga. No one understands it, and he hates it.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Because I desperately need some fluff for my soul... Kohga and Mipha cooking together for their men, and it's adorable BFF bonding time?

That IS cute??? Let's do it!

"This is a surprisingly cute idea from you, Kohga."

Link and Sooga were out, with Link trying to teach Sooga how to tame horses. It's why Kohga and Mipha were at Link's house, and more specifically, his kitchen. Kohga waved his hand dismissively as he finished washing the vegetables they needed.

"Don't make me sound soft. I just. Know this is something kinda rough for Sooga. He REALLY wants horses to like him, and they don't."

"Why DOES that matter to him so much? I thought he hated horses?"

Kohga shrugged as he peeled the carrots, getting them ready for the oven, all while Mipha started to slice her mushrooms.

"He doesn't LOVE them, but he thinks they're pretty. And I think he's doing this more for me, since I love them a lot."

"Is he taking inspiration from your books?"

Kohga paused in between his vegetable prep, chuckling a bit awkwardly.

"Okay, okay, maybe. I mean the whole 'being whisked off on horseback', YOU'VE had that before, you know how great it is."

Mipha daydreamed for a moment, thankfully after she was done with the mushrooms.

"It is, really~...oh, sorry."

She gave an awkward chuckle as Kohga gave her a 'really, bitch?' Look. Kohga rolled his eyes, before finishing the seasoning on his carrots, before pulling the fish out of the bag. He WISHED he asked them to butcher it for him.

"Ugh. Hate. Fish. Why do I gotta like a guy who likes it so much?"

"I'm the same with ironshrooms. Hate them, but Link adores them. But in all seriousness, I just think it's cute that you're making this easier for him-do you want me to cut that up for you? You're staring."

Kohga shook his head wildly, trying to pump himself up. He hated fish, but Sooga's favorite, salmon, was just the worst.

"No. I got it. I hate it, but I hate it even more when someone else does it."

"Sounds like you just want it to be perfect. You like Sooga, you like Sooga~"

"Oh my Ganon, shut up."

Kohga snorted at her stupid little song. It was just the distraction he needed to help him cut the fish into filets, and toss it in the oven alongside the carrots. Meanwhile, Mipha turned her back to him in order to start her steak and mushroom sauce.

"It's not my fault you make it painfully obvious. Not that I'm genuinely trying to poke fun, I think it's precious. Now, have we decided on dessert yet?"

"I was thinking just fruitcake, but I'm open to suggestions."

"Well..."

She trailed off, letting the steak sit on the pan while she dug into Link's fridge.

"We have a block of chocolate in here. If you don't mind a bite taken out of it."

"I mean I'll eat it."

"Kohga."

"Kidding, kidding! Kinda. Anyway I might have a recipe in mind."

Mipha took it out of the fridge, cutting the bite mark off, trying not to think about how gross it was, Kohga eating it.

"I'm listening."

"Thinking of maybe a chocolate banana ice cake. We got the sugar, butter, leftover cookies- everything."

Mipha scowled as she thought.

"It's a nice idea, but do we have time for that?"

"Depends. Think you can hold down the fort here while I make it? Once it's in the freezer it's just set it and forget it at that point."

Mipha nodded, putting her hands on her hips, and smiling rather smugly.

"I think I can manage."

"Atta girl! Let's do it!"

They did a rather cheesy fistbump before they got to it. You'd be surprised how much a little fish princess and an old man could get done when they worked together honestly. Kohga got his cake in the freezer, and when Mipha got her dishes in the sink, she looked through the window.

"Oh! They're back!"

Kohga finished up the other dishes, starting to plate them and put them on the table.

"Just in time! How do you think it went?"

"I'm looking...he's signaling-oh no. Oh. It went. Poorly."

Mipha rushed to the door, opening it and allowing Sooga inside, while Link put his horse back into the stable.

"Mipha, Master Kohga."

Sooga peered over her shoulder, looking at the kitchen table.

"You...made us dinner?"

Mipha nodded, rather sweetly.

"We did. Kohga thought you'd be hungry after such a long day."

"WE thought! It wasn't just my idea!"

Mipha kept her voice low as she walked him to the table.

"It was absolutely his idea, he loves you so much its precious-"

"Mipha I will throw YOU in the fryer, try me."

She helped him into a seat, before suddenly yelping, almost making Kohga drop a plate.

"Oh my goodness, Sooga!"

"What? What happened?"

"He has hoofprints on his back!!"

Kohga quickly walked over to see, and sure enough, he had two giant hoofspots on his back. WAY bigger than a normal horse. Kohga winced.

"Holy SHIT. You got FUCKED UP."

"How did you WALK in here?"

Sooga averted his gaze, clearly embarrassed.

"I uh. Didn't think you'd notice-"

"Imma kill you. Mipha, fix him before I kill him. Sooga, she's gonna touch you, alright?"

Mipha thought it was sweet. How, despite his rather aggressive tone, he comforted him. Not just by having his wounds healed, but letting him know when something he feared (women), was going to touch him. He still looked uncomfortable as her hands rested on his back, but at least he didn't jump. Link walked in a second later, clearly looking apologetic. Mipha turned to look at him.

"You took the big one, didn't you?"

He nodded. Kohga scowled as he dipped into the kitchen for more food.

"Why didn't give him a small fella? You had to take the big bastard?"

"Usually Spice has such a sweet temperament..."

Sooga moped on the spot, disappointed by the failure.

"Not towards me. Almost pulled the hair off my head, then it ran over me. Twice. And uhm...if it's not too much, he bit my hand. And a towel if you can, he spat in my face. And he bit my shoulder too, actually-"

"And you were gonna sit there and not say shit?"

Kohga glared at him, and Sooga shrunk further. Mipha was thinking about scolding him, when Kohga sat across from him, holding a bowl of fried zucchinis.

"You know what, just shut up and eat."

Kohga stuffed one in his mouth, and of course, Sooga adored it. Mipha gave his back a gentle pat once she was done, handing him a rag like he asked.

"You're healed, do wash your hands, then come and eat."

"Thank you, Mipha."

Link and Sooga went off to wash, and Kohga stuffed a zucchini in his own mouth.

"He's so dumb. Imma kill him."

"Uh huh. You just hand fed him a zucchini that you personally made by hand."

"Shut up, you don't get to be right."

"It's not my fault you two make it so obvious-LINK NO! NO CAKE!"

Mipha got out of her seat to keep Link out of the freezer, and the sight made Sooga chuckle as he sat down next to Kohga.

"You made that cake, didn't you?"

"I did, because I like the cake. And you like it too, by coincidence."

Sooga took both of his hands in his own, bringing them to his chest.

"I love you. I adore you. You have so much love in your heart, I taste it in everything you make. This is a delight, and an honor. I apologize that I'm...failing, trying to give you something you want."

Oh the poor guy looked like he wanted to cry. Kohga sighed, leaning in to bump his mask against his.

"It's not your fault horses just don't like you. You're trying. And it's as stupid as it is sweet. You're willing to get trampled just to try to make me happy."

There was a moment of silence between them. Of appreciation and affirmation between them. It was tender. Sweet. Then Sooga saw Link sitting there, grinning as if he knew some kind of secret. Sooga nudged him away, scowling.

"I'm having a moment here, go away."

Kohga snickered, leaning over to pat his cheek, before turning to the table. He immediately started to put food on the plate. Brown sugar glazed salmon, sweet and spicy carrots, fresh bread and butter, fried zucchini, crab cakes, and roasted pumpkin squash. Sooga was about to ask why was he eating fish, when Kohga plopped the plate in front of Sooga. Mipha was the first to point out what they were all thinking.

"Did you just. Serve Sooga?"

Kohga seemed to just now notice. He had taken a nice, full plate of food, and given it to Sooga.

"I...no. No I didn't?"

Sooga sat there, clearly not trying to let his heart gush with feelings.

"You did. You...served me a plate. I didn't even ask you. You just. Did it for me. That's...VERY sweet of you~"

"It's not that big of a deal!"

Mipha gave Link his plate, trying not to grin too much.

"I do it for Link. And I love Link. So that must mean-"

"You know what, Sooga, give me that fucking plate."

"But you hate fish-"

"I AM PETTY ENOUGH FOR THIS."

Sooga, for the good of Kohga, had to lift the plate out of his grasp, despite his VERY loud demands for the plate to be given to him. Mipha looked over at Link, who was just chowing down.

"They love each other. Much how I love you~"

He leaned over to kiss her cheek, making her laugh at the buttery smudge he left in his wake.

Suffice to say, the horsing around wasn't done just yet.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

So Sooga gets along with Revali, Sidon, Riju- what about Urbosa and Daruk? I don't think I recall the dynamic between him and the others. And I think Kohga is missing a few too- i guess im asking for headcanons here.

Oh good point. All of these are susceptible to change, so nothing is particularly set in stone.

Sooga;

Enjoys hanging out with Revali. He admires not just his talent, but the fact that he hides his insecurities very well. Match that with his quick wit and their mutual love for making fun of Link honestly makes them buddies. They like to train, have tea, and have a nice crab omlette (Sooga is on and off in terms of how comfortable he is, eating around Revali). Revali, along with every other rito (namely women) have a crush on him. Sooga just, fucking attracts birds for some reason.

Sidon is his close second friend. Big as he is, a lover of fish, Sidon is annoying in a sort of endearing way. He likes fishing, hiking, swimming, collecting shells with him. When they aren't having fun outside or fucking, you'll see them indoors, whittling while Sidon goes on and on about some story. Sooga likes to listen, Sidon loves to talk. They just work.

Riju. Riju is sort of like his niece. He treats her respectfully, but having grown up with six sisters, Sooga has the instinct to care for her. He takes her out for ice cream, he does her nails/hair, listens to her rant, and even helps pet sit Patricia from time to time (and Patricia LOVES him, she blows him kisses all the time). He's also kinda protective. A boy her age tried talking to her, he went missing the next day. Odd I know.

Urbosa. Urbosa acts like HIS older sister, and while women make him uncomfortable, he trusts her more than most. She's always there to give him words of encouragement, always there to help him against some rather hungry ladies- she just has his back. Sometimes they meet up for a nice dessert and talk about what they like in men (Urbosa loves ladies too, but women are lost on Sooga).

Mipha. Sooga and Mipha get along. They aren't at each other’s throats, but Sooga isn't exactly nuts about her. She finds him slightly imposing, he doesn't like being near women-without Kohga, they're awkward with one another.

Teba. Sooga and Teba actually get along pretty well. They're both rather strong and silent types. That is, until Sooga asks about the family life. They end up sitting next to each other, tending to their weapons, while Teba tells him what it's like to be a dad. They're quiet overall.

Daruk. Daruk and Sooga...they co exist. Sooga doesn't hate him, but he isn't a fan. Jealousy from Kohga aside, Sooga doesn't like that he's loud, brazen, VERY touchy, and is constantly trying to get him to eat. Suffice to say, Sooga would prefer anyone else's company (he was once in a room with JUST him and Mipha. It sucked).

Sooga and Yunobo. For some reason, he's chosen to adopt him too, and is constantly acting as his confident. He's constantly making sure he's eaten and slept, and is trying to help him come out of his shell. The 'he asked for no pickles' meme, but in an uncle way. Sooga likes to take him out to smash boulders during the day, and hunt for fireflies at night. Yunobo once fell asleep on him, Sooga didn't have the heart to move him. He had to see a doctor for his back the next day, but worth it.

Link and Sooga have a VERY competitive relationship. They've established early on that they're rivals, and as such, wanna beat each other's shit on a daily basis. They lowkey need to stop hitting each other and just bone, everyone sees it.

The Great faeries. Not champions, but imma include it anyway-they coddle the crap out of him because he's honestly adorable to them. He really. Really wishes they'd stop kissing him, just ONCE. They're all better than Malanya though, for some reason he fucking HATES Sooga.

Zelda. Sooga...does not like Zelda. I'll leave it at that. Let's just say you shouldn't leave them alone together.

Impa/Purah/Robbie. Its fucking on site with Impa, Purah is actually tolerable, and Robbie is just fucking annoying.

Kohga!!;

Kohga of course, LOVES his lil red fishy, Mipha. You kidding me? She's a cherry! An absolutely precious lil ruby! Kohga loves her SO much, she can pretty much just waltz into the clan whenever she pleases, and gets whatever she wants by asking for it. They're ABSOLUTELY bff's. Shopping, cooking, talking about boys and taking selfies, they're practically joined at the hip. I'm telling you, Kohga would end game any bitch if Mipha asked.

Daruk. Kohga LOVES the guy! Not just because he's easy on the eyes, but he's big, loud, rowdy, pair that up with his love for food, and these two can keep each other company FOREVER. Just, be warned if booze is allowed, and may god help your pantry. When they AREN'T raining hell, they spend time at the hot springs, and let me tell you, you've never seen two dudes happier, they're like pigs in shit.

Sidon. Kohga and Sidon get along great! Nice to look at, Sidon is also just a sweetie who just. Does whatever Kohga tells him to. Like Sooga, but dumb as hell. One of the few people that BOTH of them can hang around with. Seriously though, Sidon is a big dumb sweetie, Kohga LOVES it.

Urbosa. Her and Kohga get along, in a sorta 'let's meet for brunch on Sundays' kinda way. It's a casual friendship, and honestly? It's comfortable for them. He's still lowkey scared of her though.

Kohga is Riju's OTHER uncle. He's the more 'tell me about the boys you like' kinda uncle. Total enabler, he lets Riju do all the kid stuff she never really got the chance to do. You wanna play with chalk? Absolutely. You wanna get your shoes dirty? Course! You wanna eat all the candy and go pants a royal guard? He's IN.

Revali is an ass. Full of himself, snarky, and so in the closet, they bicker ALL the fucking time. They don't HATE each other, they just fucking can't get along. They fought over BREAD once.

Teba doesn't love Kohga. He's not quiet, he squirms a lot, and even if he's asleep, he tosses and turns a LOT. Teba just puts up with him, while Kohga thinks he's boring, but nice to look at.

Yunobo is more loved by Sooga than Kohga, but he thinks the kid is a peach. He teaches him how to talk to boys he likes. Can't help with girls though. Still sweet to the poor kid though, always brings him something to eat, because he worries.

Kohga LOVES Link! They both love food (especially fried bananas), Kohga loves Link's antics, Link loves Kohga’s funny dance moves- they just click. You'll often see them napping together after a buffet of food.

The great faeries! He LOVES them!! They're big, they're beautiful, they proud and loud- they are just his gal pals. He knows each ones specific tastes, and its so easy for him to charm the pants off of them during tea time. Don't tell anyone, but Malanya is his favorite, they love talking about horses.

Impa/Purah/Robbie. Kohga doesn't hate Impa, but the girl is SUCH a buzzkill. Instead of going and getting her a girl, she's here, scolding him for some random rule. Smh. He LOVES Purah though. They're TOTAL shutterbugs together, and they both agree that Impa needs to get a girlfriend. Robbie is also a TOTAL babe. Like if dude likes to experiment, Kohga can run some tests on that DI-

Zelda. Kohga...hates that he likes her. She's just a sweet gal, and with a smile like that? He can't hate her. He visits here and there for political reasons, but they do have lunch and catch up. Him and Sooga do sometimes help pick outfits/looks as well. And...well. The royal stables are a HUGE plus (seriously, Kohga SWOONS for her white horse. He jokes that he's more handsome than Sooga. He's half kidding, that fucker is a BEAUTIFUL horse).

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Cil and Von pls???

Funny enough, that's what @bi-julius-caesar wanted for their birthday! The exact prompt they asked for was 'Von humiliating Cil in front of Kohga and Sooga and Cil tries to hate fuck him but ends up getting fucked instead'. So, hope both of ya'll like it!

"With pleasure, Master Kohga."

Kohga loved having beefcakes to do what he said. And Cil was one of the many who were eager to obey. Like a show pony, he was eager to perform. In this case, he insisted on having him go head to head with Sooga. Not with weapons, but with their bodies, and bodies alone. Master Kohga was frisky today, it seemed. He watched angrily as Kohga held Sooga’s face, cooing in such a sugary sweet voice. The words fell on deaf words, lost in his frustration. Then he looked at him, and made a 'come here' motion with his finger. Cil damn near skipped over, but kept his proper form.

"I don't want you to go easy on him, understand? He needs to earn his prize."

"Understood. But pray tell, what IS the prize?"

Kohga thought about it for a second, before Cil saw that smirk of his (well not really SAW, but he felt it).

"Tell you what. Winner gets a kiss."

"...any kiss?"

"Eh what the hell, why not? Sure."

Oh he was going to murder him. Cil nodded, holding onto Kohga’s hand in his own, as a sign of respect.

"It shall be done, my Master. He will have to pry this trophy from my cold, lifeless corpse."

And he meant it. He doubt Kohga would let their match get that far, but if it came down to it, he absolutely would. Anything for that kiss he needed oh so badly. For that kiss he deserved. He stepped in front of Sooga, and drew his blade. He double checked his hair in the reflection of the blade, before digging it into the floor. Sooga followed suit, both blades wedging into the wooden floors.

"I appreciate your seriousness, Cil. You and I both know that we strive to please our Master."

"Of course. He deserves nothing but the best. As in, me."

Sooga huffed. Good, he was getting under his skin. Cil stretched for a moment (maybe showing off a bit for Kohga), making sure his body was ready. Sooga followed suit, before nodding. He was ready.

"You recall the rules."

"No weapons, no yiga special techniques. Just our body's strength, and our wits. And of course, mask stays on. On our Master's mark, if he may grace us."

Kohga loved this part, they could tell. He was about to start, when Von joined him, clearly excited.

"Aye my BOYS! Master Kohga, I can watch right?"

"Long as you don't interfere again."

"Oh. Right. Sorry. Shutting up right after this-good luck guys!"

He gave them a thumbs up, and Cil rolled his eyes. Ugh. Ever supportive, Von was. Kohga helped himself to a drink, before sitting up in his chair.

"On three. One. Two. Three!"

Cil was so motivated by the idea of getting his prize, he leapt for it first, bringing his fist down right into Sooga’s chest. Sooga got pushed back a bit, but didn't hesitate to grab Cil's arm, yanking him into a nasty headbutt. It was a cheap move, unlike him honestly. It was weird, until he heard Kohga holler behind them. It was a show for their master, not effiencity. Oh the cheek. He felt himself snarl at such a cheap trick.

"Oh you kiss ass!"

"You're just upset that he prefers looking at me."

Cil grit his teeth, before he dove for him in essentially a tackle. These little sprawling sessions were really just 'beat the shit out of someone until they're either unresponsive, or quit'. So tackling, although it was a bit barbaric, was pretty acceptable. Given how loud Von swore, it was quite a spectacle as well. He kept himself on top of him, starting to bring his fists down onto him. He aimed for his chest, his shoulders, even his head. Sooga kept trying to block, and Cil was happy he did.

"That's it, give me more of you to hurt!"

He wanted to bruise him. Wanted to walk away from this in absolute shame. Like a wounded street dog. He clasped his hands together, about to bring the combined force of his fists, when he was suddenly forced onto his back. Sooga had damn strong legs, and he often used them to his advantage.

"Your fury shall be the end of you, Cil."

He grabbed him by his head, about to slam it onto the floor, when he was interrupted by a very loud, VERY annoying Von.

"COME O N CIL, YOU GOT THIS BUDDY!"

It was annoying, and just the distraction he needed. He brought his fist up to his stomach, giving him just enough time to squirm out of his grasp. He managed to get Sooga’s head in his arms, in a headlock if you will. Sooga squirmed so adorably, he could pop his head like a cherry.

"That's it. Thrash. I'll crush your head like a fucking egg. I could watch the blood trickle down your ears as I make your brain mush. Or you could give up, and I could claim my prize. The one I d-"

He didn't get to finish. See, there was an issue with Von being both of their friends. He never picked a side, and always wanted things to be even. So, of course, it was his turn to help Sooga.

"SOOGA PULL HIS HAIR."

"NO WAIT-"

Too late. Sooga had reached up, dug his fingers into his hair, and pulled. It undid all the hard work it took to get it looking so pretty, and it made Cil moan. Loudly. He had just pulled it so hard, his blood was already pumping- it just happened. The cheers from everyone watching suddenly became a confused silence, and Cil hated that when he looked down, Sooga was obviously very uncomfortable. Cil let go of him, and turned to look at Von. Good. He knew he was in more shit than a horse stable.

He walked away, grabbing his blade on the way out. A foot soldier, their little referee, cocked his head to the side.

"Is this a forfeit?"

"...yes. Unfortunately, I yield."

He tucked his sword away, and as he walked out of the arena, and grabbed Von by his shoulder. Once they were out of the ring, and into Cil's room, Von FINALLY started to panic, hands up in defense.

"Cil don't be mad I didn't think you were gonna-"

"You made him ruin my hair. You made him humiliate me in public,"

Cil stepped towards him, slowly, and Von stepped back, clearly trying to get away from him. He made it a good distance away, before his back was against a wall. Cil put his hand up, keeping Von trapped. He wasn't going anywhere, they both knew it.

"You made everyone realize WE do things together. You made me come off as some sort of whore. You not only brought shame to me and me and our Master, but you made me LOSE. I deserved that prize. But thanks to you, I lost. LOOK AT ME."

Cil grabbed him by his throat, and listening to his choked up words of protest were music to his ears.

"I'm going to make you regret having a voice. I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to use you until I decide I'm not fucking mad at you anymore."

He threw Von onto his bed, crawled on top of him, and just when he was about to peel those clothes off, Von coiled some of his hair in his hand, and pulled. Like a a horse, he turned docile under his hand, suddenly not feeling so angry. Von laughed, pushing their masks aside, just enough to reveal their mouths. Never enough for their faces.

"Aye...so angry and so bitter, buddy. Easy does it. I know how you get when you don't get what you want. Come here. I'll give you a kiss."

Was it Kohga? Absolutely not. But after getting all riled up from a fight, he'd take it. He pressed his lips against his, swearing under his breath. Him and and Von have had a few...choice encounters, so this wasn't new. But Cil still hated it. There was still that shame, that bitter taste of defeat, not getting who he wanted. And Von knew it. It was silent, yet obvious. Yet, Von acted as if that awkwardness didn't exist. Cil sighed. He was still angry, but his cock was taking away some of that stress.

"You're a pest. And I'm still angry."

"You're always angry. Now come on, clothes off."

He waited till Von let go of his hair, before he sat up, removing everything but his mask. Von gave a loud, headache inducing whistle.

"Dunno why you had to strip, you could've just flexed this off, god damn."

Cil was about to insult him for such mindless flattery, when Von held his cock in his fingers. He toyed with the tip with his thumb, watching as Cil melted on top of him. Cil huffed in his face, annoyed still.

"You shouldn't make me feel good. But you know what I need."

"I've known a few cocks, my guy, they more or less need the same thing. But yours is the cutest!"

"Not this again..."

Cil smacked his mask with his hand, groaning. Von laughed, clearly finding it funny.

"I'm sorry but it's such a cute lil cock! It's like a wittle itty bitty carrot! You know how sometimes it doesn't grow right but you love it anyway because its special?"

"I'm going to kill you. I'm going to hang your corpse on-"

He was silenced when Von scooted down, and put his cock past his lips. He stiffened up for a minute, before relaxing, digging his fingers through Von's mop of hair.

"Ugh. So messy. Your stupid hair. You should let me fix it properly. If I have to hold it while I use your mouth, it should at least not look sloppy."

"Aw, is that a date?"

Von looked up at him; kissing at his tip. Cil scoffed, pushing himself back into his mouth. Much better use of his lips than the constant smart mouth.

"It isn't. It's a standard that I want...met."

He could tell Von knew. He was already getting close. That's what fighting did to a true yiga. Made them aroused, eager for more. Von peeled away, watching as the little cock ached for more.

"Well I want MY dick to meet that ass, so on your front, princess."

"I grow weary of that nickname."

He complied however, trading Von spots. He laid on his stomach, letting Von apread his ass, and rub his thumb over his asshole.

"But you're SUCH a pillow princess! You lay there, pushing against me and waiting for me to help you cum. And you look pretty too. Nice hair, a damn nice back. You take care of yourself, I REALLY can't believe you don't get fucked more often. Think its the attitude. But I like it."

Cil grabbed onto one of the pillows, tensing once Von dragged his tongue against his asshole.

"Don't....say that while you're doing such things. It's...v...vile."

It was gross. He kissed the same lips that kissed his asshole, and he loved it. Von's tongue moved in little circles, drool cascading down and meeting his aching cock. Von chuckled, pulling away after a second.

"You just mad because it's not Kohga saying it. Ease up big guy, you're gonna get what's comin' to you."

He was about to bark at him, recalling why he was mad to begin with, when he felt goosebumps at his skin. Right. Von was...well equipped, unlike himself. It felt good grinding against him.

"Just...ugh. Be silent and put it in already."

"Such a grumpy wumpykins. Fine."

He leaned down to kiss his jaw, before he adjusted his clothes, and pressed his bare cock against his ass. Cil tried not to, but he found himself pressing against against him, body needing SOMEONE to touch him.

"You remember the rule."

"Right right, finish on the ass, not inside, and tell you so you act like you don't like it- I know I know."

Cil didn't want to admit that he wanted him to just fuck him already. But thankfully, Von let him get away with that one, and pushed his cock inside his ass. He held him still, as his size was STILL a bit much for him. He groaned as his body tried to accommodate, trying not to tear open the pillow in his hands.

"SLOWLY, you fucking moblin."

"This IS slow, you just don't get fucked enough to be used to it."

He was going to back talk further, when Von grabbed some more of his hair, giving it a gentle pull as he started to slowly roll into his ass.

"I...oooh...mmmph."

He hated the sounds he made when he felt stuffed. But it felt so...good. Von chuckled, hand roaming from his hip, up his back.

"That's it. You've got no dick, and ass is pancake flat, but when you finally get tamed...damn you sound so pretty. You like it when you get a good stretch, eh?"

"I DESERVE a cock. The fact that it's yours is unfortunate."

"Sharp tongue for a man with a thick dick in his ass. Lemme taste it."

He laid on him again, pressing his lips against his, and letting his tongue roam over his. Von knew he hated kissing so much, but this time he was grateful, as it helped keep his moans muffled, if only slightly. They sat there for a moment, sweat glistening off their bodies and swears filling the air. Then Von started to move properly. He started to buck his hips into his, balls smacking against his own as their hips bucked together.

"Shit Von...You’re throbbing inside of me. It's shameful."

"Funny way of saying you really like my dick. It's fine, I like this ass of yours. Looks good when you're taking it. Don't think I've fucked someone so big and delicate."

"I'm NOT deli-"

He was cut off when Von yanked his hair, starting to pound into his ass.

"Not delicate? Look at you fumblin' over yourself as I fuck that ass like a toy. My cute, baby dicked princess~"

He couldn’t even scold him. His vision was too hazy, his mouth was too busy biting into the pillow. It felt just. So good, letting this man use him to please his cock.

"I'm gonna fucking cum. I'm gonna bust a FAT fucking nut because of you. Come on, let's see what kinda load those little balls of yours can give me."

Cil was the first to cum, whining loudly once he finally hit that peak. He sat there in his mess of sweat and cum, before Von joined him. He pulled his pretty hair, pulling out just in time to cum on his ass, and on his back. Von still kept moving, albeit much slower, snearing his thick cream in between his cheeks. Von grumbled against his sudden mouth full of feathers.

"They're...not small."

"Size of chickaloo tree nuts. But I love 'em anyway, princess."

Von finally got off of him, laying right next to him. Cil sat there, trying to recover. He silently listened as Von lit up one of his cigarettes, helping himself to a nice smoke, blowing rings into the air. Cil inhaled, before slowly exhaling.

"Why I insist on entertaining you, I have no clue."

"Because I got a fat dick. And I'm funny as hell."

"Funny looking, you mean."

Cil didn't move as he shifted his gaze to meet his. Von grinned, taking another puff, before leaning over and smacking his ass. Least, what was supposed to be his ass.

"Ha! After all this time, my guy still got jokes! I love it! Good to see I took a...load off."

"Stop."

"Even though it was very HARD."

"VON."

Von grinned like the idiot he was. Cil hated to admit it to himself but...well. he did get the gold medal, but silver was just as good. For now.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Camping double date with Miphlink and the Yiga Husbands??

This is a TERRIBLE idea. Why? Because Kohga loves to live like a king, so camping is something he HATES. Unfortunately, Sooga got to pick the double date idea, and he LOVES camping. So, let's go!

 "We could've gone sunbathing on a beach. Could've even gone to the shores of Zora's domain. But no. You just. Had to pick the FUCKING woods!"

Sooga chuckled as he checked the sturdiness of the tent. Mipha and Link often went on double dates with them(to show their support), and the four of them took turns on where to go. It was Sooga's turn, and he picked a camping date. Not JUST a camping date, but a camping date up on Satori fucking mountain. It meant they had to fucking HIKE. And Kohga was hating EVERY moment of it. It must’ve been obvious, given the fact that Mipha was staying with him as Link and Sooga lead the pack. Sooga was grinning as he walked backwards, clearly not trying to sound giddy.

“Master Kohga, this is a nice change of pace, is it not? The smell of trees, the plentiful resources? It’s lovely. I mean, not as lovely as you, but still lovely.”

“You’re using flirts to keep me from going home.”

“Is it working?”

“...kinda. But don’t push it.”

Sooga nodded. Him and Link were having just a ball during this little trek, and it was JUST because of that, that Kohga wasn’t making him pick him up. Mipha chuckled, lightly nudging Kohga.

“Do be patient. Love is full of that. I’m sure he appreciates being out here.”

“He better, I’m taking all his future turns.”

The climb was slow, exhausting, and Kohga was SO goddamn happy when Sooga and Link started to unpack their things, ready to set up camp. It was near the top of the cliff, and a number of trees decorated the rocky land. Kohga sat down on a log, groaning. Kohga wasn’t in bad shape, but hiking was just AWFUL compared to working out at home. Dirt, animals, all of it just sucked to him. He’d MUCH rather be working out at home (Kohga could name other ways he could work a sweat with Sooga).

“Why THIS spot? There’s BARELY any stable ground, and these trees barely leave us rooms for the tent.”

Sooga nodded as he finally undid all of his prep work.

“It’s true, but this spot is special, I swear. Now, if you’ll excuse us. Link, you first?”

Link nodded, and started to clear the trees and bushes. Not all of them, but enough to give them actual stable land to pitch tents in. Kohga watched as Link and Sooga chopped the trees, tossing them in the corner for firewood. Mipha chuckled as she sat next to Kohga.

“Hey. At least we can watch the boys do a little bit of labor.”

Kohga gave her a bit of a side eye. Mipha was really starting to know him.

“I mean, true, I do like watching cute guys do hard work. Think Sooga’s showing off for me?”

“Absolutely.”

They both shared a bit of a giggle, and immediately Kohga felt just a bit better. Even if a fuck ton of bugs kept hovering around. They both finally finished, pitched their tents (one for each couple, for privacy of course), and Sooga immediately started to make a fire. He was pretty good at it, getting it ready and roaring just when Kohga was starting to lose patience. Sooga patted the dirt from his hands, and walked over, grabbing Kohga’s hand and kissing the back of it.

“I left some food for you in the pack, but I’m going to catch something more...lively. I will come back in a moment.”

He turned to Link, who was already starting to unpack the food bags. 

“Link, keep an eye in my stead. Precious cargo here.”

Sooga walked off to god knows where, and Mipha smiled her precious little smile.

“He loves you very much. I can tell.”

“Yeah yeah. Makin’ me trek all the way up here, all sweaty and shit. He loved me, he would’ve picked an ACTUALLY good trip.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Mipha, I love ya, but stop being right about things.”

Link even seemed to smile about that, bringing a bunch of bananas over to Kohga. At LEAST he packed him something good to eat. Link helped a bit too, going to a nearby tree to pluck some fresh durian fruit. Link gave them both fruit as he tended to the fire, and Kohga SAW that swoon on Mipha’s adorable face.

“Hey, I saw that.”

“Saw what?”

“You swooning over your man, you little minx!”

Mipha stammered, but as Link looked over, shooting her a wink, she knew she had been had, hiding her face in her hand, and trying to hide at Kohga’s side. Kohga laughed, shaking his head.

“You two! Got it SO bad! It’s precious! You two really deserve to be together.”

Mipha peered past her hands, to make sure Link wasn’t looking anymore, before looking back up at Kohga.

“Well thank you. Father appears to think so, as does Sidon. Can I uhm...tell you a secret?”

“Shoot little red.”

Mipha covered the side of her mouth with her palm, keeping her voice low.

“I made Zora armor for Link. I’m planning on giving it to him this week.”

That was Zora lingo for ‘marriage’ essentially, and Kohga nearly jumped off his seat, hands thrown about wildly.

“YOU’RE SERIOUS?!”

The sound of his scream made Link miss his shot, about to shoot a bird for dinner. Upon missing, he turned to scowl rather heavily at Kohga, who muttered an apology. When he turned away, Kohga finally found his heart back in his chest, rather than his throat.

“You’re gonna get MARRIED?”

“I’m planning on it, yes!”

“Mipha, lil’ red, I love you to bits, but you’re SO young! How could you want to get married NOW?”

Mipha turned to look at Link, gently cocking her head in a loving, adoring fashion.

"I'm certain I'll never find another for me. I adore him with all my heart. I want to marry him. Very, very much. Do you...not think it's a good idea?"

"No no! I mean, great that you wanna settle. It's great. I fully support you both. I just...the idea of getting married is weird to me, I guess. But I mean, so long as I get to be the best man."

"That's my brother."

"Okay fair. What about flower girl?"

"Riju."

"Ring bearer?"

"That's Midnight."

Kohga threw his arms in the air, in total disbelief. 

"Who's Midnight?!"

"Link's horse."

"...That's actually super cute."

"Isn't it? If it helps any, you can help me pick my wedding outfit."

"Deal."

They both shook hands, satisfied with the deal. Kohga held onto her hand for a moment, clearing his throat.

"But uh...don't tell Sooga, yeah? He's wedding crazy, and if he hears you're gonna get hitched, he's NOT gonna let me hear the end of it."

"End of what?"

They both turned to see Sooga, carrying an entire honeyvore bear over his shoulder. Kohga should've been surprised by his man carrying a whole ass bear like a sack of flour, but he really wasn't.

"Nothing. See you got dinner."

"I did. I was going for a mountain goat, but this one didn't seem to know how to behave. I trust Link has been taking care of you in my stead?"

"Totally. Cut us up some fruit like a good boy and everything."

Kohga pinched Link's cheek as he came over, eager to show his arms full of freshly killed pigeons. Sooga chuckled, rustling Link's hair.

"Quite the provider you have here, Mipha. Should you two marry, I can assure you'd never go hungry."

Kohga tried not to groan. Marriage ALWAYS came up with his ass. It seemed to make Link a bit nervous too, as his face turned dark, and he went back to tending the fire. Mipha giggled into her palm.

"Thank you, Sooga. That's sweet of you to say. But I'm not looking on proposing here and now, so."

Sooga shrugged as he started to cut through the animal's hide, getting it ready for the flames.

"The future is fickle. Who truly knows?"

There was a smirk in his tone, even Mipha seemed to catch onto it. Kohga rolled his eyes. The idea of marriage was so ridiculous to him. Being tied down to one person forever? Fucking ONE piece of ass forever? Not his thing. But hey, he wasn’t Mipha. He scooted over next to Sooga as soon as he put the meats over the fire.

“Sooga, how much longer till it’s ready, you think?”

Sooga chuckled. His Master LOVED to eat, and while he was no chef, he could cook some good, fresh meat over a campfire. He cut a piece of the meat, showing Kohga just how raw it was.

“It’ll take a good minute, Master. Unless you’d like it raw, then I can serve you a piece now.”

Kohga stuck his nose up at it, and Sooga, for some reason, found his face so charming.

“Who wants to eat raw ass-”

Link snatched the piece from his hand, stuffing it in his mouth. Kohga sighed.

“Right. Link. The guy that will actually eat ANYTHING. You remember the time he just, ate some fucking rocks?”

“I recall, yes. Yet, he makes a VERY good fish pie.”

“Hey. Bad enough we HIKED here, don’t you even bring UP fish.”

Sooga gave a light shake of his head, even as Kohga smacked at his tit. He was lucky he was fine, else Kohga wouldn’t put up with his nonsense. They spent a good moment in idle chit chat (how restoration to kingdoms were, recent training practices, new dishes, the usual stuff you’d talk about with folks you more or less considered family), before Sooga handed Kohga a healthy plate of food. Fried wild greens, and spiced meat skewers (Kohga ALWAYS had Sooga bring goron spices whenever they went out. Kohga put it on EVERYTHING, especially meat). Kohga helped himself, digging into his meal hungrily. Sooga was a shit cook in a modern kitchen, but when it came to spicing and cooking meat out in the wild, Sooga was damn good enough. Juicy insides, and a nice, crispy outside. Him and Link didn’t talk as much, in favor of eating ravenously and enjoying their meals.

“Sooga, you don’t like goron spice?”

“Not especially. I always give my portion to Kohga, who loves it. But I prefer mine lightly salted. And I'm not the only one, it seems."

A raven seemed to trot over to them, eyeing Sooga curiously. It welcomed the slices of meat Sooga tossed its way, and Sooga noticed Kohga’s look of interest.

"Birds always did seem to like me, for whatever reason. Watch."

Sooga brought his hand down, and almost immediately, the bird jumped into his hand, eyeing everyone curiously. Kohga leaned over and lightly poked its head, making it squawk.

"Huh. That's why Revali thinks you're hot."

Sooga shook his head, as if something smelled. 

"I wish you hadn't told me that. Makes me wish birds hated me."

"What if it was Teba?"

Sooga took a moment in hesitation, before lightly nodding.

“I like Teba.���

“EVERYONE likes Teba, can’t say I blame you here.”

Sooga gave the crow another scrap of meat, before motioning for it to leave, which it did, but not before looking back at Sooga once more. Mipha handed her plate to Link (who always ate whatever she couldn’t finish), before softly nodding.

“That’s honestly quite charming. I’m personally really good with fish, though it might be a Zora thing.”

Then the most odd thing happened. Link put his plate down (with food STILL on it), and nearly leapt towards Mipha, clearly excited. She seemed surprised for a moment, before chuckling.

“Oh, you want me to show them, don’t you?”

Link nodded again, wildly. Mipha held onto her head fin, and the spots on her skin seemed to glow, which seemed to glow brightly as the sun soon seemed to die down. 

“Woah. Since when could you do that?”

“Always. It’s made to attract fish, bugs...Hylians.”

Link was just enthralled in her spots, fingers carefully brushing against her skin. She sat there, as flattered and flustered as a young princess could be, while Link just sat there, adoring her like something out of a story book. Sooga looked down at Kohga, who was enthralled with them both. With the moon gracing the sky, now was just as good of a time as any.

“Master Kohga, I think these two need a moment of privacy. Could I...show you something?”

Kohga nodded, quietly helping them sneak away. This somehow ended with Sooga leading Kohga god knows where, covering his mask with his hands.

“Sooga, why can’t I just close my eyes?”

“You peek.”

“I won’t this time! Maybe!”

“Relax, Master Kohga. We’re almost there. Now, be silent.”

Kohga stopped talking, and just trusted Sooga to guide him. He was about to take another step, when Sooga stopped him in his tracks. His voice was in a hushed, low tone.

“Open your eyes.”

Kohga did just that, and couldn’t believe his eyes. Blupees. Blupees , surrounding a lake, littered in cherry tree petals. They all sat there, hopping about, grooming their long, orange feelers. They hadn’t been noticed yet, and it was incredible. Some sipped at the lake water, some seemed to hop amongst the piles of petals. Kohga kept his voice low, in disbelief.

“You...knew they’d be here.”

“I did. This trip was the perfect opportunity to show you something as beautiful as you are. I take it you’ve never seen them up close?”

“No. Only in books. They’re...so different in person.”

Kohga took a step forward, making a branch snap. They thought it had been the end of it, when one of the blupees turned to look at him. But then, it chose not to run. Rather, it hopped right to Kohga, standing on its rear legs and eyeing him curiously. Kohga glanced at Sooga, before looking back towards the creature.

“Thought they were skittish?”

“They’re supposed to be. Unless they consider you not a threat.”

“W-hey! I’m plenty threatening! Go on, get!”

Kohga knelt down and pointed at it, only for it to bump against his hand, and snuggle into it like a stray cat. Kohga grumbled in a mixture of confusion and amazement, before another blupee walked over. Then another. Then another. They all scattered about him, clearly fascinated and eager to rub their little faces against him. It made Kohga fall on his ass, trying not to step on them. Sooga knelt down to him, ever ready to be of assistance. Though, it seemed the only thing his master was in danger of, was getting a permanent scowl. He chuckled.

“I don’t think they find you too threatening. Foolish creatures, honestly.”

“I should be making these bunnies shake in their boots dammit.”

Kohga raised a hand in accusation, before a blupees seemed to fall right into it, desperate for a good petting. Sooga took a small step forward, careful not to spook them, before he clunked his mask against Kohga’s.

“You...never cease to amaze me, Master Kohga. You’re incredible. These creatures thrive on purity. I can only imagine how much of it is in your heart.”

Kohga scoffed, playfully pushing his face away with his hand.

“It’s nothing like that, these things are just dumb. But… this is sweet. YOU’RE sweet. And as much as I hated the hiking, the bugs...this was nice. I don’t ever think I’m going to forget this, Sooga.”

“So I did good for my turn?”

“Good enough to try again, yes. God you’re so dumb and pretty.”

Sooga chuckled. He parted his mask, as well as his master’s, and was about to lean in for a kiss, when suddenly a shadow peered over them. Both of them jumped a bit, scaring a few of the blupees. Kohga stood aghast at the creature, while Sooga looked stiff.

“Is that...the Lord of the Mountain?”

“Yes. Aka, one that brings curses upon the land it walks.”

Sooga brought out his weapon, and aimed it right between its faces. The creature stared at him, before slowly walking past Sooga, and stopping right in front of Kohga. It slowly brought its head down, right into Kohga’s lap. It looked at him with it’s intense, bright eyes. Kohga looked unsure of what to do, before he slowly, carefully, brought his hand right next to his face. Kohga motioned wildly with his free hand, totally in disbelief.

“I’m petting it! I’m THIS cool! Can you SEE this?!”

The Lord seemed comforted by his hand, eyes lidded as Kohga’s hands nestled and scratched at it’s fur. It was brief, but it was enough to leave a lasting impression in Sooga’s mind. The creature pulled away after a moment, before dipping its face into the water, taking a sip. Then it took a step towards Sooga, and promptly spat water at his face. With a snort, and a stomp of it’s hoof, it turned, and started to graze within the water. Sooga turned to look at Kohga, who was trying VERY hard not to laugh.

“Pffft! It spat water at you! Holy CRAP, he does NOT like you!”

Kohga lost it at that point, pointing at Sooga and just losing himself in laughter. He only stopped once Sooga knelt down, and held his hand in his own.

“I’m. So in love with you, you couldn’t even fathom it-”

“This shit again.”

“Say the word and I’d be your husband IMMEDIATELY.”

Kohga groaned, using his other hand to smack his forehead. It wasn’t entirely Sooga’s fault that he was so lovesick though.

Not when the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen, got to pet the Lord of the Mountain.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Question: you’ve established that Stalhorses love Sooga, even though live horses hate him. Do other Stal-creatures share a love for Sooga?

Actually yes? For some reason all matter of bone creatures just. Kinda fucking like him. He doesn't like them though, he thinks they're VERY annoying, and he thinks bokos look awful without their big floppy ears. A very unrequited love kinda deal.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Can we get Sooga fucking Link in Gerudo armor? Like he just thinks its a pretty little thing in cute clothes??

I. Love this idea. Surprised it us so long to get here tbh. Let's go!

"This is ridiculous.”

“Oh come on, Sooga!”

Kohga had found Sooga to be a bit of a stick in the mug lately, so he commanded both Cil, and another blade master to take him out for a night of fun. So far, Sooga wasn’t having any. They were at a recently made bar, found right at Kara Kara Bazaar. The place was jumping, but Sooga was the only one not having any fun. Clif shrugged.

“If you want to go home and disobey Kohga’s orders, be my guest.”

Sooga mumbled, running his hands through his hair. It was one thing to waste time on something as stupid as drinking, but the fact that they were doing so OUT of disguise, made Sooga EXTREMELY uncomfortable. The third Yiga, a rather foolish one named ‘Von’, chuckled, nudging Sooga by his shoulder.

“Look, NO ONE knows who we are here. We could give them any bullshit name, and just have some drinks.”

“I don’t like either of you seeing my face.”

“it’s why we’re ALL like this! We’re ALL vulnerable out here. Now come on Sooga, ONE drink! Cil, back me up here!”

Cil gave a shrug of his shoulders.

“Kohga DID give us rupees to spend on you. You might as well take up on his generosity.”

Sooga took a deep inhale. He HATED being away from his Kohga. But, this WAS a command, who was he to disobey? 

“Fine, fine. I will have ONE drink, then we’ll go home, and we’ll tell Kohga I had my fun. Fair?”

“Now we’re talking! Yo! drink vai!”

Von waved wildly at some poor waitress (he wasn’t a rude guy, he just liked women a BIT too much), who walked up to them, notebook in hand.

“Listen, we want three Noble pursuits, and make them strong for us, yeah? Our guy here needs to come out of his shell! Right Sooga?”

Sooga turned to him, ready to verbally humiliate him in front of some little vai, when he saw her. She was a vision. A small thing, with hair that reminded him of tabantha wheat, a small, yet sleek body littered in scars, and her eyes. Her eyes were emotionless and blue, like the coldest chunks of ice. Her black, lacy attire covered her face, but with help from the lighting, Sooga could see the shadow of a small, stunning mouth. The vai nodded, making note of the order, before Cil raised his hand up a bit.

“Oh and uh, I want something to eat too. Something to help me get a little less drunk than these idiots.”

The vai nodded, before walking off past the crowd of people. Sooga watched her leave, and found himself fascinated. He never particularly found himself attracted to women (hell, most frightened him), but something about this one...caught his interest. Von seemed to notice this, laughing as he shook his shoulder.

“Wait a minute! You were checking her out! You were checking a LADY out! Holy SHIT!”

“I...was not. I’m gay, what reasoning would I-”

“Maybe you’re bi, Sooga, don’t rule it out!”

Cil threw a napkin at his face, scowling.

“You’re going to suggest he cheat on Master Kohga? Have you no shame?”

“Isn’t Kohga CONSTANTLY fucking someone? Like no slut shaming, but didn’t he JUST fuck Daruk like two weeks ago? If anything, you’re selfish for NOT trying this out.”

Sooga and Cil turned to look at him, but struggling to follow his logic. Von reached over to steal someone’s drink, helping himself before he explained.

“You’re telling me Kohga WOULDN’T want you to explore and find out what you like? If we told him you were acting like a prude again, he’d have ALL of our asses for not doing as he told.”

Von wasn’t very smart, but even Cil and Sooga had to admit; he had a point. Cil sighed.

“I hate to agree with him, since he’s about as smart as a rock under a lake, but the worst you can do is give it a shot. If you don’t like it, oh well, Kohga would surely love a story.”

Sooga never thought about something like this. He had dated a woman back in his teen years, but now? Not really on his mind. But, Kohga always DID implore him to explore, so he nodded.

“Alright, I’ll give it my best shot. Just one question. How the hell do you talk to women?”

Von smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. Right, these two were gay, and he was pan, course they didn’t know shit about girls.

“Look, I’ll do all the talking for you. I got you covered.”

Just then, the vai walked in. Drinks on a tray, as well as an oily plate of fried eggs on rice. Cil helped himself to his drink and to his bowl, while Von wrapped his hand around her hip.

“Listen, vai, my friend here, thinks you’re super cute. How strong of a chance does he got?”

Sooga threw his hands up in the air.

“Really. THAT’S you ‘getting me covered’?”

“Hey, women like it when you’re honest. So, how about it?”

The woman scanned him up and down, and Sooga was ready for rejection. Only, it didn’t happen. She grabbed a hold of his face, and pressed her lips against his. Even through the fabric of the veil, he could tell she had soft, eager lips. She pulled away after a minute, before using her head to motion him into following her. Von held a big smirk on his face, as if he had accomplished something.

“See! Full proof! now GO!”

Sooga was on his feet before he could understand what was happening. He caught up to her, holding her hand as she guided him to a back room. Sooga peeked into every room, curious. Each room was covered in a thin curtain, not only giving a slight view, but doing nothing to handle the sound. It let him hear all types of moans and cries from men alike. She let go of his hand, motioning for him to stay put, before slipping off into a room. Sooga, bored and curious, peeked into one of the rooms, where the curtain was fully parted. He got to see a Zora absolutely PLOWING into the aft of a Gerudo woman. He had a rather nice...pace. Not that Sooga was noticing.

“That’s it, you can handle one more for me, can’t you?”

The poor woman couldn’t say anything past her pillow. The Zora looked up from her, to him. He was about to apologize, when he watched the fishman cum, right into him, all while making eye contact with Sooga. He chuckled after, giving Sooga a big flash of teeth.

“You like watching, eh big guy? Come in, I’ll give you a better view.”

Sooga was pulled away before he could even think of accepting the offer. He was suddenly thrown onto a nice, soft bed. She closed the curtain behind them, letting just a bit of light poke into the room, but not enough to see important details of her figure. She crawled into the bed, crawling over him. He was about to speak, when she dove into his neck, dragging her lips against his neck. Sooga sat there with his hands in the air, uncertain of what to do. That is, until she grabbed his hands, and put them right on her ass. He took the hint, and did the same thing for her as he did for Kohga. He gripped tightly onto her cute little ass, and she moaned against his skin. 

That sounded so,,,familiar to him, in a way. He was about to ask for her name, when he felt her start to pull off his clothes. He sat up, helping her take off his shirt. Her hands wandered his body hungrily, and he couldn’t help but feel rather flattered by such a hungry touch. He was about to reach for her clothes, before she started to scoot down, pulling down his pants, just enough to reveal his semi hard cock. The hunger in her eyes was immense, and it only added to his arousal. He watched as the veil lightly parted, and she stuffed his head in his mouth. He tensed up a bit, uncertain of what to make out of a foreign mouth on his cock.

“You’ve...done this before, I take it?”

Her eyes looked slightly amused as she continued, slowly bobbing her head up and down on his girth. She was talented at this, what with how her tongue roamed, and her how her hands massaged and rubbed at his balls. He didn’t expect it to feel good. But it really, really did. A stranger sitting there, sucking him off, all while he heard others get off in rooms right next to him. He combed his fingers through his hair, slowly pushing his cock in her pretty little mouth. He got greedy, digging his fingers into her hair, and forcing her to take more. She didn’t mind in the slightest, slobbering all over his cock as it moved back and forth into her warm mouth.

“You like this, don’t you? Satisfied by a stranger’s cock? Didn’t know vai were filthy little creatures.”

At first he thought it was rude, but he saw her eyes. Hazy, lost in the realm of lust. She liked this. He was sitting here, pleasing her mouth with his own eager cock. Then suddenly, she pulled away. He sat there, wet with drool and hard, thinking he was suddenly unwelcomed, when he saw her pull off her pants. She even went so far as to peel off her panties, throwing it in his face. It kept him distracted, at least long enough for her to push her ass against his cock. He was going to tell her to stop, a bit worried about how a woman’s insides would feel, but he acted too slowly. She sank herself onto him, moaning loudly as his cock pushed inside of her. He hissed at the feeling, mainly because such a tiny body felt so tight around his cock.

“S-shit. Don’t...move so fast. Easy does-”

But this vai didn’t like listening. She held onto his thighs, and started to ride him far too quickly. He was ashamed to admit he liked it. Ashamed to admit he liked it enough to hold onto her little hips, helping her ride his cock. Her jewelry jangled as she rode him, and her little lips kept giving him such horny, needy moans. Though the sound...was odd to him. He swore he heard those breathy sighs before, but from where? He didn’t feel like asking though. Not when such a cute little ass was taking him for all he was worth. Granted he preferred absolute dumpers like Kohga’s, but this one was definitely on the cuter end. So cute, he couldn’t help but smack it. She seemed to love it, and like a horse, seemed to go only faster on him. It felt so good, fucking such a cute thing like this. He was going to cum. He was about to pull himself out, but it was too late. He came, pulling her right to his chest, and stuffing her. She mewled and whimpered, even as he pressed his lips against hers to try to silence her. He tore away from her, and saw her eyes, lost in arousal, with mouth open and drooling behind the cloth around her mouth.

“You really do enjoy the touch of another man, don’t you?”

She nodded meekly as his hand wrapped around her pretty throat. He had no idea why, but something in him didn’t want to be gentle to her. He wanted to be rough with her, wanted her to be bruised and stuffed with his semen.

“You could handle a bit more, couldn’t you little vai?”

She nodded, helpless as his grip on her throat only made better.

“I thought so. Lay down for me, right on your stomach. I’m going to show you what a man can do.”

And for the rest of the night, that was EXACTLY what he did.

----------------------------------

“Wait. You..and a WOMAN?!”

“P-please don’t be mad...”

Sooga didn’t want to tell Kohga, but he could NOT keep a secret from his master. They were all currently waiting for Zelda and Link (She requested they escort them to some ruins in the desert), and he found now was as good of a time as any. He waited for the backlash, only to hear Kohga laugh.

“Well how about THAT! You like WOMEN now?”

“I’m...not sure. I know I enjoyed it, and I know I was attracted to her, but other women...make me uneasy.”

“Hey, maybe you just have a certain type. Either way, I’m not mad.”

“You’re...not?”

“Course not! You’re getting to know yourself! I can’t say I like women like that at all, but hey, if you do, I support ya in finding out.”

Sooga couldn’t help but smile. Kohga had been helping him discover a lot about himself, and he continued to surprise him.

“I...thank you, Master Kohga. That means very, very much to me.”

“Eh don’t sweat it big guy. Now look alive, we got company!”

Sooga was about to greet their guests, when he saw Link come into view. Hair of wheat, black cloth, and blue, cold eyes. He froze like stone, and Kohga noticed.

“What’s up with you?”

“I...I just now realized-I’m pretty damn sure I’m still gay.”

“The hell you-”

Kohga knew that look. The look of regret, some shame, with even a pinch of arousal. Kohga threw his hands in the air, completely ignoring his guest’s puzzled gazes.

“SOOGA YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!”

Sooga only had one thing to say. He looked down and Link, and without much regard for manners, spoke.

“Fuck you, Link.”

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Could we get a continuation on that one fic where mipha waltzed up to links house and straight up asked for DICK? I’m talking about that pancake breakfast that’s continually mentioned. I really want to know what subjects they talk about to bond with each other...

Mipha gets to be sexy queen, AND soft queen, we love it here. let's go.

Mipha groaned a bit as she felt herself be nudged. She lifted her head up, rubbing the weariness from her eyes. Link was right there, tray of food in his hands. Pancakes. And not just any pancakes, her favorite salt and honey pancakes. With fresh fried eggs, and fresh salt grilled fish. She smiled as he got into bed, right after propping the tray in front of her. She got herself cuddly in the sheets, fork and knife in her hand.

“Oh, this was very sweet of you Link, thank you. Would you like some?”

He patted his stomach, shaking his head. He ate as he cooked, so he wouldn’t get greedy and steal from her plate. How cute. She chuckled, helping herself to the meal. She loved the pancakes, even though the attempted heart shape didn’t pan out too well. She felt him wrap his arm around her side, and in turn, she let her head rest on his shoulder. Being with Link was nice and all, but it was a LOT of her being in silence, listening to her own voice for the most part. Every once and a while he’d speak, if it was needed, but she was used to the comforting silence. He was looking out the window, to the horses. Link loved horses, and she had grown a fondness for them because of him.

“I’m sorry, here I am stuffing my face while those poor things went without breakfast. Would you like to go and attend to them.”

He gave a light shake of his head, sticking his tongue out at the one of the horses who looked at him through the window. She giggled, covering her chewing mouth with her palm.

“If you insist they can wait, that’s fine.”

She swallowed, before starting to peel the flesh from the fish. Another moment of silence, as comfortable as the first.

“You know, I could help you with the horses, I know they do need a lot of work. I never knew they were pretty and intelligent creatures, up until I met you. Most I ever see are seahorses.”

He chuckled at that, apparently finding it funny. He glanced down at her, and she knew that look. You’d be surprise how a look alone could carry a conversation.

“I can most certainly help, I don’t mind. You do so much work as it is. Guarding the princess, daily training, grooming them, hunting- the least I can do is feed them and let them graze. You trust me with them, do you?”

Link didn’t hesitate as he nodded. She finished her pancakes, taking a sip of her water, then hugging his arm.

“Thank you. Knowing you trust me is very sweet. It’s better than Kohga at least.”

He groaned, smacking his face with his hand. They loved Kohga, but he was constantly having naughty times with Sooga around his house, and quite frankly, Link was tired of it. There was another moment of silence, before she caught his hungry gaze. Right, she hadn’t finished her plate.

“Help yourself, Link.”

He grabbed the plates with one hand, before nearly inhaling the remaining food. She snickered, lightly patting his tummy.

“I feel bad, eating all your food despite how hungry you are. Poor thing. Remind me to bring you some cookies next time I come over. Yes, the pecan turtles, I know you like those ones.”

He nodded in excitement, wiping his face, only to smear it across his face. She grabbed her napkin, holding his face as she cleaned him up.

“I hate how you smear, dear. You make such a big mess and-”

She found herself stopping when she realized her face was...really close to his. He pressed his forehead against hers, chuckling.

“Link...I want to ask a question. What...made you chose me, over Zelda? Not that I have anything against her of course! I mean-”

She was silenced as he held onto her hands, rubbing her palms with her thumbs. She didn’t understand it at first, before it clicked.

“Because...I promised to lend myself to you. Because I swear I will heal you and protect you, no matter what stands between us. Is that it?”

He nodded, a bit of an embarrassed blush across his cheeks. She chuckled, kissing his forehead.

“Thank you, my love. I’m sorry, I know I’m very chatty today. How about we just sit here for a while, and then you can teach me how to feed the horses.”

He nodded, wrapping his arms around her, and burying his face in her shoulder. Link loved her. And Mipha was so sure that he was the one she absolutely and truly wanted.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

OOH can we see how Kohga would react to Mipha asking for relationship advice? Since she’d see how devoted and passionate Sooga is for his Master, and not really anyone else in their group is in a relationship soooo

I’m just obsessed with him just adoring Mipha and trying his ass off to get her and Link together it’s so cute

One, thank you for recognizing the fact that Kohga playing Mipha’s wingman is possibly the best idea I’ve EVER had. Two, I am SO ready to start this absolute soft shit. Smut is fun and all, but come on, Kohga trying to hook bitches up is amazing. And third, this got waay out of hand, so enjoy some double dates here.

“So, did you get me something?”

Sooga hardly left Master Kohga’s side. Whenever he had to, be it to lend a hand elsewhere; he had TWO rules to follow; come home to him at the end of the day, and bring him something. Kohga had been sitting here, having tea with Mipha, while Sooga offered to help Sidon hunt for sneaky river snails (Sooga had a real knack for knowing where to find them). They came back with quite the haul, so the fact that he managed to get anything else was nothing to scoff at. He put the large bag of fish down on the floor, and from his pockets, produced a small cage. Inside the cage was what appeared to be a winterwing butterfly. Kohga clapped his hands together, clearly loving it.

“Ooh, I’ve been looking for one of these!”

“I know. It was why I had to stop in the middle of fishing to catch it for you. I may have let Sidon fall in the water in my haste. Maybe.”

Mipha cocked her head to the side upon seeing his reaction to the small bug.

“You like bugs?”

“Just the butterflies. I only keep them for a day or two before I let them go, I just think they’re neat.”

Kohga took a hold of Sooga’s chin, grinning from ear to ear.

“And SOMEONE seemed to remember me saying I wanted this specific one. You’re such a sap, Sooga.”

Sooga was trying (and failing) not to smile.

“I listen to EVERY word you say, master Kohga.”

“Ugh, you’re being mushy again. Get outta my face, go help shark boy with the fish.”

Kohga tried to look mean as he gently pushed his face away, but it was plainly obvious; Kohga loved him. Sooga pardoned himself, hoisted the bag over his shoulder, and walked off with Sidon. Mipha took a sip of her tea, watching as Kohga lightly shook his head. She knew it was a bad emotion to feel, but she couldn’t resist feeling a bit jealous. They were so happy with one another, and yet, her own love and affections were clearly not recognized by the one boy she loved, more than anything. Perhaps…

“Kohga? Can I ask something?”

“Whatever you want.”

Kohga stopped ogling his boyfriend for a second and gave her his attention, snacking on the cookies she made, just for him (shaped in just the cutest seashells). She squirmed a bit in her seat, unsure of how to go about it, before she finally came out with it.

“How...did you get someone to love you, the way Sooga does?”

Kohga stopped eating for a second, looking at her sullen face. This little fish was just sweeter than banana bread, and it hurt poor ol’ Kohga to see her love so much, without Goldilocks even talking about it with her. Sure they were young, and they had forever to talk about this stuff, but there was no time like the present.

“Sooga is a fucking idiot, for one, and I attract idiots. Second, you kinda just. Come out with it. We started off as friends before anything, and that’s now all relationships start. Course, your case is a BIT different from mine. You want my honest opinion? Just shoot your shot. I mean, worst he’s gonna say is no. Or nothing with his mute ass…”

Kohga mumbled that last part, helping himself to another sip of tea. Realizing it didn’t seem to be very helpful, he sighed.

“Or, you could cook him something. Call me old fashioned, but my mama always said the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I make mean salmon skin, look at the hunk I bagged.”

They both turned to look at Sooga, who was busy de shelling the fish alongside Sidon. Mipha pursed her little lips, before softly nodding.

“I...suppose that isn’t a bad idea at all. If I can find the courage in my heart to ask him.”

Just then, Kohga noticed Link walking alongside the princess. Small land, honestly. Kohga put his hands to the side of his face, crying out to Link.

“Yo Goldilocks! Mipha’s cookin’ tonight, you want in?!”

Link nodded, giving a thumbs up. Kohga shrugged.

“See? Easy. You just gotta be straightforward with boys.”

Mipha held her face in her hands, obviously embarrassed.

“But what do I do WHEN I make him something?! What do I say? What do I talk about with him?”

Kohga loved Mipha, really he did, but girl needed to stop seeing boys as a lynel, and more along the lines of wild horses. Something to tame, not to fear. He sighed.

“Tell you what. Me and Sooga will join you, sorta like a double date kinda deal. I’ll be there if the date goes bad, and we can dip when the date is going GOOD.”

Mipha looked up from the table with just the softest eyes you’ve ever seen.

“You...would do that, for me?”

“Course, lil red! You’re like, my favorite in the little team of goody two shoes. Plus, free eats, can’t complain-”

She suddenly got out of her seat, and nearly pounced on him for a hug. The things he did for love.

--------------------------------------------

“He here yet?”

“Not quite, but I’m just about done!”

Kohga came back a while later, alongside Sooga. Kohga had his own men helping her in the kitchen, setting up the dining room, everything she could need, Kohga helped with. Kohga scoffed as he put his gift on the dining room table (he’d be remiss if he didn’t bring something to drink for the occasion), lightly pulling up one of her fins, and scoffing.

“Okay, let the boys finish up. Sooga, get to work on this girl, she needs to focus on being as pretty as a fresh stack of banana pancakes.”

Sooga nodded, prompting Mipha to follow him to her bedroom. Kohga was about to see just what she was cooking, before the main doors flew open. Link. Aka, Goldilocks, aka, the guy that never fucking knocked. He was wearing the classic gerudo outfit. A real tits out look, and honestly Kohga would jump on that in a heartbeat.

“Goldilocks! Bit early! How you doing? Mipha will be ready in just a second, take a seat, lemme get you a drink!”

Link nodded. Kohga chatted him up for a minute, serving him a nice glass of banana wine (it’s actually VERY good). When he caught the eyes of Sooga, he pardoned himself and dipped into the hallway. He took one gander at Mipha, and gave a whistle.

“Girl look at YOU! Lookin’ prettier than a pack of opals!”

She really did look like a beauty. Freshly touched lipstick, sharpened nails, her silver jewelry replaced with gold, and instead of her usual blue sash, Sooga somehow managed to find time to make a blue, see through looking dress for her. It fit around her body snugly, but it was a loose, comfortable material, perfect for fashion, and function. Sooga was so talented, getting that together so quickly. Kohga nodded towards Link.

“Go keep him busy, gotta give this girl a pep talk.”

Sooga nodded. Once he left, Kohga carefully put his hands on her shoulders.

“Look at me. Lookin? Okay good. You like this guy, so be you. BUT, you need to let him know you’re interested. Be flirty. Touch his hands, compliment him, fucking, feed him from your plate- make it obvious. You’re a princess. He’s a knight, it’s GONNA happen.”

She nodded firmly, shoulder’s straight as a Lynel’s. 

“I can do this!”

She peered over at Link, and immediately hid behind a wall again.

“I can’t do this! He’s wearing the voe armor!”

“For the love of…”

Kohga sighed. Why did he love all these shy bitches?

“Mipha. You’re gonna make HIM drool, not the other way around. Come on, you’ve got this. I’ll be right here, I’ll make you look good as hell. On three. One. Two. Three!”

He carefully pushed her towards the dining room, and Mipha looked ready to have a heart attack. Poor thing.

“Link! It’s so nice to have you over! I hope my invitation wasn’t sudden!”

Link shook his head. Kohga, sensing things were still awkward, jumped in. He was always the fun one at parties.

“Hey, you know what, we should totally start eating! I heard Mipha made quite the spread, Sooga why don’t you help bring the stuff out?”

Sooga nodded, heading into the kitchen. Kohga gestured for all of them to take a seat (with Mipha sitting right next to Link of course), and him just a bit away from them. Close enough to be supportive, but just far enough to beat it if he was cramping their style. Soon enough, trays of food were brought in, and even Kohga had to admit, he was starved.

“Master Kohga?”

“Yes, Sooga?”

“I’m sorry.”

He was about to ask what for, but then he saw it. Fish dish. Fish dish, not a single dish WASN’T fish. And he couldn’t just NOT eat her food, less he make Mipha’s food look awful. Kohga gulped, and Mipha seemed to catch onto his distress.

“Oh Kohga, I’m so sorry, I forgot you didn’t like fish! Please, let me make you-”

“Nope!”

Kohga could feel his ass sweating. He was really gonna sit here and eat fish, because Mipha deserved it. Link looked over at him, clearly just as confused as anyone else. Kohga forced himself to chuckle.

“I mean...I HATE clam chowder. A lot. It’s gross, it’s squishy, it smells AWFUL. Unless it’s Mipha’s. I LOVE Mipha’s clam chowder! She is just. SUCH  a good cook, I could eat a whole bowl!”

Link looked him right in his face, grabbed a bowl, and filled it completely with clam chowder. He slid the bowl over to him, and Kohga wanted to throw up. That yucky, smelly smell of fish. 

“Son of a bitch..I mean, yum! Thank you, Link.”

Mipha just had to like this blonde asshole. Sooga made a motion to grab the bowl, but Kohga halted him. He was going to do this for Mipha. He took a taste of it, and he fought every urge not to puke. Dear god, the smell and the taste was awful. But he forced himself to swallow, smiling.

“See? I l-like it! So it’s GOTTA be good! Mipha is just, so talented!”

Link seemed satisfied, helping himself to a bowl. Mipha looked at Kohga, clearly worried, but he shook his head. 

“Make it up to me by getting some, Mipha.”

He muttered underneath his breath, forcing himself to eat more. Sooga had no problems, this asshole, eating fish like it was nothing. Mipha pretended like she didn’t know anything was wrong, giving her attention towards Link.

“So, Link! You’ve been over at the Gerudo desert, I take it. Urbosa is doing well, I trust?”

Kohga didn’t pay attention to the one sided conversation, too focused on handling the thick creamy broth. His stomach churned, his head hurt, and he was just. Dying. Not even Sooga could help him. He was going to bail, but he saw it in Mipha’s eyes. She was getting more nervous, and this was JUST from watching Link eat. Oh god this was a mess. He forced himself to think past the creamy mush still left in his bowl.

“So, Link, what do you think of Mipha’s new look? Nice right?”

Link looked her up and down, before giving Mipha a thumbs up. Her cheeks exploded in color, and she looked ready to just melt. Kohga tried not to gag at the fish burp he just had.

“And Mipha, thoughts on Link’s outfit?”

Mipha hesitated, letting herself get a look at him, totally not looking at that titty (atta girl), before softly nodding.

“You had it dyed white, it looks very...nice, Link. It really goes with your golden hair.”

Distracted by her thoughts, she played with a strand of his hair, before suddenly realizing what she was doing. They both looked away, buried in blush, just two, dumb, flirty messes. Oh his girl was KILLING IT. Kohga forced himself to gulp down his bowl (somehow not choking on the chunks), nearly gasping as he finished. Oh that was a mistake. That did NOT feel right. Didn’t matter, Mipha was GETTING somewhere with this guy. He whispered to her, nudging at her side.

“Offer him some of your food.”

“But? He has the same thing in-”

“Say yours is different. Just do it, trust me. Sooga! With me, kitchen, now.”

They dipped into the kitchen, and Sooga immediately handed him a bucket. Just in time for Kohga to purge his guts. Sooga patted his back, sighing.

“No one told you to finish the bowl, Kohga.”

“I am SUPPORTIVE, dammit! She deserves-”

Yet another purge of his guts. He groaned, relying heavily on Sooga to keep him upright.

“If it makes you feel better, I’m VERY proud of you. Going through so much for the sake of her happiness. You’re a wonderful person.”

“Sooga, that’s sweet, but dear god I’m throwing up here, shut the fuck up.”

Kohga was three for three, and he was wondering if it was worth it. Then he peered into the dining room. Mipha was spoon feeding him from her bowl, going so far as to scold him for his messy face, and cleaning it with a cloth napkin. It was adorable, it was sweet, and dear god was this worth it. Sooga chuckled, peering down at Kohga.

“You’re incredible, Master Kohga, letting her have this.”

“I AM pretty great, aren’t I?”

They sat there, watching them. For a moment, for a brief, sweet moment, she wasn’t shy. She was honest with herself, she was even just a bit flirty. And Link looked as if he wasn’t clueless. It was so goddamn sweet, it was worth every second of stomach pain. Kinda.

“Oh it’s coming again- he better marry this girl, or I’m starting the war all the fuck over again.”

He was complaining, sure. But he was really, honestly proud of his little Mipha. He’d do this again and again, if it meant getting to see such a sweet, happy smile.

He just prayed he didn’t have to.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Been reading your Yiga Husbands stuff recently and can I just say it's some good shit? Your headcanons even outside of the smut are amusing and I can get behind them (somebody please find Sooga a horse that doesn't immediately hate him, I want him to be happy). But if I'm being honest, something I'm intrigued to see is something with choking? You mentioned in a past post it's one of the more BDSM-ish stuff Sooga'll do, and it just makes me really curious. 👀 Of course, only if you're up for it?

Thank you! Even though I’m behind on these asks, I still REALLY appreciate your kind words! Second of all, I can ABSOLUTELY do choking. It’s actually one of Sooga’s favorite things, because Kohga’s hands are...hands. Sometimes Sooga can jerk off JUST on his hands. Point is, Sooga is almost EAGER to get choked. So, let’s go!

Master Kohga was so talented. So wise, so skilled, so incredible. It was what Sooga always thought of as he watched Kohga do...anything, really. As if now, it was cooking. He was teaching Sooga how to cook, and Sooga could NOT keep track of his movements.

“Pinch, tuck, pinch tuck. See how it goes into a sort of spiral?”

His fingers were so...nimble. They moved so expertly, so swiftly. Sooga wanted to hold them. Wanted them to touch him, so very badly.

“I apologize, you’re...very fast. I think I understand how it works, but I doubt I can make them without your supervision.”

“Eh, you’ll pick it up eventually. When I was a kid, I couldn’t do it. I’d just sit there and eat raw dough like a moron. Oh but I did pick this up as a kid, watch.”

Kohga added more filling (a combination of pork and mushrooms) onto a small sheet of dough, and started to fold. In mere seconds, Kohga finished. He had somehow made it into the shape of a fish, and Sooga couldn’t have swooned harder.

“That’s...incredible.”

“Ain’t it? Anyhow, that one’s yours. I gotta feed you sometimes, fuck knows you forget to.”

Then Kohga grabbed a firm hold of his face. His grip was firm, his hands were soft, it took everything in Sooga NOT to moan. Hell, when Kohga let go of him, he nearly plummeted face first onto the counter. He grabbed a hold of the table, trying to steady his poor heart. Kohga didn’t seem to notice, opting to check the bamboo basket.

“Alright, this is ready. Now we just put it in there, wait ten minutes, then bam, we got some nice dumplings.”

Kohga added them all to the basket, before covering them, and putting the timer onto the slate. When he did that, he leaned against the counter, shrugging.

“You want me to teach you how to make some sauce to go with these?”

Sooga shouldn’t have been so lewd. Master Kohga was being so sweet, so kind to him, why did he have to think about something so lewd? He wouldn’t say anything. He couldn’t.

“Please choke me.”

That was WAY too forward, way too impulsive. But the words came from him before he could stop them, and he immediately knew his mistake. He was about to go on his knees and beg for forgiveness, when Kohga chuckled.

“Why not? We’ve got ten minutes to kill, and you haven’t been a fuck up in the kitchen. Suppose that deserves a reward.”

Sooga was about to apologize still, for being so crass, when Kohga pulled him down into a kiss. It was a good, warm kiss, but it was a trap. It was something light, sweet, something to distract him from the fact that Kohga’s hand was at his neck. It wasn’t grabbing just yet, merely taunting his poor, wanting neck with his fingers. When Kohga pulled away, he kept his face right in front of Sooga’s, and Sooga knew why. He WANTED to see him lose himself to his greed. Lose himself to such a perversion.

“M-master Kohga, I-”

“You’re getting bold. Real bold. Asking for what you want, in the kitchen, and in SUCH a time limit. I’m honestly a little proud of you. But not surprised. I see the way you look at my hands. I see the way you look at ME.”

He was about to respond, when Kohga’s grip finally graced him. It was a good, solid grip, just right under his jaw, EXACTLY how he liked it. Sooga had to grip onto the counter behind him as Kohga essentially pinned him there.

“You’re such a helpless boy when it comes to me. You like having yourself in my hands. You like the feeling of me choking you out like a good, good boy. And you like how I seem to know just where your dirty little spot is.”

Oh his grip got tighter, his voice got lower. Sooga was panting too hard, making breathing a bit difficult. But Kohga knew better than to stop just yet. Sooga liked a real heavy hand, one that ONLY stopped when it absolutely had to. One of Sooga’s hand gripped onto Kohga’s. Not in begging for it to cease, but in adoration. His hand was so soft, but he had such a grip, Sooga swore his legs were going to buckle underneath him. Then Kohga went overboard; bringing a second hand up to his neck, and pushing him back a bit, shortening any distance they had with one another, to essentially nothing.

“You like seeing the way my fingers bruise you. Like seeing the way I had my way with you. I can tell you get off to it. I can tell you could cum on this alone, couldn’t you?”

Kohga loosened his grip, letting Sooga catch his breath. Right before he’d pass out, JUST how he liked it. But before he got too comfortable, he gripped again, MUCH harder than last time.

“You love my hands SO fucking much. You love how I can do anything I fucking want to you. Look at you. Pinned against a counter, my hands around your greedy throat, when anyone can walk in at any second. You’d WANT them to see it, huh? Want everyone to know that I can teach you a fucking lesson? That you’re a dirty, dirty boy?”

Sooga was shaking now. Everything was true. Someone could walk in right now, and he wouldn’t care. He just wanted to keep those strong hands on him, just how they were. Even as his body squirmed, Kohga kept him nice and still. Just how he liked it.

“You’re gonna cum, aren’t you? Gonna cum right on yourself, because I’m choking the absolute shit out of you. You like that I don’t treat you so delicately. You look like you’re gonna pass out, and yet, I’m not stopping. Because I know, YOU know, that I won’t let go till you FUCKING CUM.”

Kohga gripped so goddamn hard on his throat, Sooga was seeing stars. To any outsiders, it’d look as if Kohga was trying to kill him. But it wasn’t the case. Kohga just knew EXACTLY how he wanted it. His muffled cries, even the gurgling in his throat; were all signs of desperate, agonizing lust. Kohga knew him so well. Well enough that when Sooga DID cum on himself, he knew to hold it, just a moment longer. It wasn’t until Kohga knew Sooga was done making mess, did he finally let go. Sooga’s body was barely supported by the counter, and he went into a coughing fit, holding the spot that Kohga just held. He was shaking, he surely had some tears in his eyes, and his neck hurt. It was EXACTLY what he wanted, and more. He stood there, catching his breath, drooling, trying to process the fact that Kohga choked him out SO perfectly, he was getting hard again ALREADY. Kohga chuckled, patting his back.

“There we go. Now once you’re done there, sit down at the table, foods done. And one more thing.”

Kohga grabbed a fistful of his soiled crotch, and chuckled.

“Try not to choke on it.”

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

I'm tearing up. It was SO kind of you to write my request so fast, and are you literally inside my mind?? Because I absolutely melt every time Sooga talks about them getting married, so that was the perfect cherry on top of this sweet little scene. This made my awful day so much better. THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️

Hey rough day messages take priority over other requests, course I had to get it out fast. You’re welcome, and I’m so glad to make you feel better!

Also Sooga tried to get a horse the next day. It...did not go well. Mipha found him knocked the FUCK out in a field. Like the horses didn’t just kick him, they fucking, trampled the guy. Horses are on SIGHT with Sooga. And goats. And sheep. And Lynels. if it has hooves it fucking hates Sooga.