#kohga is a horse girl

[iiryebreadii]

Ok!! So I haven't written anything here in a while but!! more totk thoughts!!

I did mineru's questline, and I'm REALLY glad I didn't do it when I found it, it would have spoiled so much of the story for me augh. Also, the fact that mineru could have designed her robo body to look like anything and she chose "giant mech with huge torso, big strong noodle arms, and tiny legs" is so real of her. playing rock em sock em robots with her at the end of her dungeon was hilarious (and also nightmarish because the L trigger of my joycon has decided to stop working occasionally, so I beat the boss figuratively one-handed)

The dragon's tears questline. augh. I finished it. AUGH. ZELDAAAAAAAAAA. on god girl we are going to un-dragon you

Also, the little rock in the forgotten temple is Sonia's grave :( I'm glad I didn't pick the sundelions from it earlier in the game cause I was like "huh, that looks very grave-like, I'm not gonna touch those". Anyway, this means both Sonia and Rauru die from the demon king, but like? who ruled the kingdom after them?? They would have had to be related to sonia at least, since she mentions sensing a blood connection between her and zelda

speaking of rauru, he and ganondorf both decayed over the thousands of years, with ganondorf turning into mummydorf and rauru progressively losing form until he's just a hand... how much longer would his seal have held, if left undisturbed? Until it was only the secret stone left?

I've been doing a LOT of exploration underground, just trying to fill out the map, and as a result accumulated A Lot of zonaite, and now my little energy cell thing has been upgraded to like, seven and a half batteries. driving around contraptions is MUCH more enjoyable now that I don't run out of battery every 30 seconds lol

Finished the master kohga storyline, loved it, all I could think of at the end was "looks like team rocket's blasting off agaaaaaaaiiinnnnnn ✨"

became a yiga blademaster. they have no idea the tiny blonde twink running around their base is their mortal enemy

I am SO POOR in this game. Upgrading armor requires rupees now and WOW it gets expensive to make your stuff strong

I also bought a house and am trying to make it look as stupid as possible. There is a horse in my living room and a koi pond making up my ceiling. That wall is a patch of grass. my bedroom's open side is exposed to the elements.

OH and uh. I've been going around and finding the statues that take the poes in the underground, cause I wanted the gloom-resistant armor set. and uh. the hood. it's uh. i don't really like wearing it you know

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Love and gratitude to the Yiga scribe ❤️I am another person who finds comfort in imagining Sooga taking care of me. I've been a bit crushed by some events today. Any chance I could get a little something of Kohga just.... breaking down in tears over something and Sooga comforting him with tea and hugs? No rush, it will be worth waiting (and smiling) for ❤️

I was gonna wait on this one in favor of something else rather saucy, but you sound like you kinda need it, so let’s go!

“Nope. Nope. Fuck you, fuck this, go to hell.”

Sooga was just sitting there in meditation, with Kohga reading his new book, when he suddenly threw his book on the floor, pouting something fierce. Sooga looked at him from his spot on the floor (Kohga always had the bed, while Sooga preferred a small cushion in the corner of the room), clearly concerned.

“Master Kohga? What happened?”

“Celtra is a BITCH! She comes in here, after YEARS of not being in Burlon’s life, and just? Steals my girl’s man? And what she did to Bon Bon?! I CAN’T!”

He watched as Kohga flopped face first onto his bed, banging his fists on the pillows. Kohga always got rather invested in his books, and Sooga thought to leave him be, when he noticed there was sniffing. Master Kohga was...crying? Oh no. He got up from his spot, and walked out of the room. He knew exactly what he needed. As always, a little snack, and some tea, did a world of wonders. Hell, he made it himself (the tea, not the cookies. His were always too hard). He brought it back to the room, lightly nudging Kohga.

“I brought you tea and cookies.”

Kohga sniffed again, hugging that pillow for dear life. Sooga sighed, put the tray on the nightstand, and sat down on the bed.

“Master Kohga? Can you please tell me what exactly upsets you? You know it hurts my heart to see you upset, even for just a moment.”

Kohga got up, wiping his mask with the back of his hand.

“You wouldn’t even get it if I told you, Sooga.”

“But you’d feel better explaining it. I’d like to try.”

Sooga hoisted him onto his lap, and rested his chin on his Master’s chin. That seemed to give him permission to cry a bit more, making it a BIT hard to hear him, but Sooga didn’t care in the slightest.

“Okay so. Celtra is the lost mother of Burlon right? She got rid of her because she like, grew up poor. So she finds her again when she gets to be an adult, and gets super jealous that she’s in a relationship with the duke. So here she is, acting like she owns the joint, and on the day of the WEDDING, tries to off her horse! And I didn’t even know if Bon Bon survived because the book is on a cliffhanger, but dammit the part where Burlon looked into Bon Bon’s eyes...it was a lot for me honestly.”

Sooga had no clue who these people were, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was that Kohga was feeling a heavy, sad emotion. Sooga wrapped his arms tightly around Kohga, making sure he felt nice and snuggly.

“I don’t fully understand, but I do in fact hope...I’m sorry what was the horse’s name again?”

“Bon Bon.”

“Yes, Bon Bon. I hope Bon Bon is fine.”

Kohga grumbled angrily again, even as Sooga wrapped him up in a blanket, like a burrito.

“May I ask...just why does this hurt you so?”

“Look, I’m invested in the story. That and...well. I like horses. A lot. My mother always had one, so now I take horse stuff personally. Especially Bon Bon. Bon Bon came back from the DEAD to help Burlon find her love in the Valley of Ashes, you best believe Imma care about that stupid horse.”

Sooga was getting more and more lost. But he could tell the story (as well as horses) meant something to Kohga. He leaned over, grabbed a cup of tea, and put it in his hands.

“Here. Just hold onto this for a moment. Holding onto something warm will help you relax. I’m very sorry it made you so sad.”

Sooga leaned down to peck his forehead, and Kohga’s tears seemed to have stopped, but he still pouted and sniffled.

“It helps. A little. Why you smiling?”

“I just..thought all you read was smut. I’m quite surprised to see you reading something that gave you feelings. It’s...cute.”

“What, you don’t think I have feelings?”

Kohga looked at him in accusation, and Sooga laughed a bit, shaking his head.

“No, no, not at all. I just mainly see lust from you. It’s...sweet, seeing you emote something else. You really give me more reasons to love you.”

“Such a sap, just like the damn duke.”

Kohga grumbled, pushing his face away, but very weakly. Sooga loved the small smile on his face, and it made his heart thump in his chest.

“Is the duke as love sick for...what’s her name?”

“Burlon. And yeah, he’s just as lovesick as you. Wanted to marry her since he saw her at the party. Took her forever to wear her down. Two books, actually.”

“What convinced her?”

“Bon Bon chose him.”

Sooga cocked his head a bit as Kohga sipped at his hot tea.

“Wait, the HORSE said to marry him?”

“Yeah the horse is like, magic essentially. If a horse told me to marry a guy, I know I would.”

Sooga sat there for a moment in thought, before an idea popped into his head.

“Would you marry me if I got you a horse?”

“...MAYBE. If it was a super special horse. I don’t want any run of the mill horse. I wanna make every horse jealous.”

“I can get a horse as beautiful and as lovely as you, Master Kohga.”

Sooga buried his lips in his neck, and Kohga blessed him with an honest, true laugh.

“God Sooga, knock it off! You absolute sap! Get off!”

Kohga’s laugh was worth everything. Right now, Kohga’s comfort was everything. Next?

Getting a goddamn horse.

[loruleanheart]

Alright, now I’m curious about Voices Carry...👀

The Harbinger shifted its attentions to the little Guardian that accompanied the princess. And so on a miserably windy, rainy night, the Harbinger had ambushed its parallel in Hyrule Colosseum.

As this fight was unfolding, the princess of Hyrule was meddling again, as she so often did, trying to aide the tiny Guardian with the help of two Sheikah researchers.

It was unfortunate enough that he had failed to cut her thread during the last encounter at Korok Forest.

To quell her meddling, Astor intervened, using his orb to appear before her.

She rode astride a piece of Sheikah Technology that resembled a horse. And when she saw Astor, she came speeding towards him.

He froze, certain that the girl was about to commit vehicular homicide. Astor turned to run, but tripped over his own feet, landing on his hands and knees into the wet grass.

The princess came to a grinding halt in front of him and pulled out a Sheikah relic. She held it out in front of her, with the back of the device to him.

“Smile handsome Astor!” She taunted, a smug look on her wretchedly adorable face.

His heart leapt into his throat. How did she find out his name?

A click and a flash and the girl seemed to admire whatever she was looking at on the other side of the device. She turned the relic around to present a true-to-life image…of himself. He detested the bewildered expression on his face.

“Curse you!” He spat in the most miserable defiant voice he could muster. How he yearned to snap her pretty little neck.

She gave him one last lingering glance. She was still smiling a little. And then she was off.

She was not what she seemed.

Both he and the Harbinger had been bested so shamefully in that humiliating attempt. Yiga footsoldiers had arrived just in time to rescue the Harbinger, catching it with a large pillow as it lost its ability to hold its mutated form.

“Thats a stink face if I’ve ever seen one, three eyes. What happened?”

“The Princess of Hyrule tried to run me over.”

Kohga was sure to never let him live it down, and upon Astor recounting his absolute confusion at what had happened after that, the Yiga Master proclaimed, “Now she has your image on that Sheikah thingamajig. How do you feel about that, three-eyes? I’ll bet she’s kissing the screen right now!”

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Six Pokémon AU

some teams are missing Pokémon because the site i used has yet to update with the Sword and Shield Pokémon so bear with me

Catherine of Aragon

Nicknames and genders: Tempest (female); Queenie (female); Gryffindor (male); Scarlet (female); Bishop (male); Foggy (female)

Tempest is Aragon’s partner. She’s raised her ever since she was a Shinx. They’ve been together all through Aragon’s run as queen.

Scarlet is like Aragon’s second-in-command. Aragon got her as a gift when she was just a Litleo and evolved her into a Pyroar. She and Tempest are inseparable.

The first Pokémon Aragon caught after reincarnation was Queenie, who she just...vibed with. She really liked the Vespiquen’s aura and wanted to add her to the team. And she did!

Gryffindor was named by Cathy, if you couldn’t tell

Anne Boleyn

Nicknames and genders: Bandit (male); Splendid (female); Hokey Pokey (female); Frisk (male); Screech (female); Booboo (male)

Bandit is Anne’s partner. They met when Anne was still very young. He comforted her when she moved to the kingdom and kept her safe.

That being said, Bandit is fiercely protective of Anne

Anne, during a show: And now, Screech!!

Screech, at max volume:

*screeches*

Anne: That’s my girl!!

At least one of her Pokémon are dancing with her

Jane Seymour

Nicknames and genders: Lady (female); Honey (female); Morgana (female); Jewel (female); Nessie (female); Sire (male)

Lady is Jane’s partner.

Lady lost her baby, so she doesn’t have a little Kangaskhan in her pouch.

So she was really protective of Jane when she got pregnant because she didn’t want her human to lose her baby, too.

What a shame that it wasn’t the baby that was lost

Lady stayed alive for a little while after Jane’s death and took care of Edward until her passing.

Honey and Jewel were found together by Lady and Jane when they were just a Sewaddle and Ralts. Jane and Lady raised them and evolved them, so they’re all really close.

After reincarnation, Honey and Jewel got reunited with Jane and Lady. It was very heartwarming

Sire is Jane’s big boy

She loves him so much

Anna of Cleves

Nicknames and genders: Pixie (male); Livewire (male); Ruby (female); Umber (male); Camelot (male); Atlas (female)

Pixie is Cleves’ partner. They became a team when Pixie was a Herdier.

Cleves had several other dog Pokémon, but, unfortunately, Livewire and Ruby were the only ones who made it through reincarnation.

None of her horse Pokémon came back, so when she saw Umber trotting around the nearby park and causing disruptions, she knew she HAD to have him

Camelot is just a babey

He’s heavy but Cleves carries him anyway

Cleves loves Atlas’ attitude

Where does she store all that sass

(Her claws)

Katherine Howard

Nicknames and genders: Duchess (female); Magnificent (female); Dazzling (female); Tulip (female); Wolfie (female); Octavia (female)

Duchess is Katherine’s partner and never evolved because Katherine lowkey was afraid she wouldn’t like her anymore once she becomes a Purugly.

Which is fine for Duchess tbh not evolving doesn’t bother her

After Katherine’s death, Duchess was sold, but died because she stopped eating due to grief over the loss of her trainer.

Them reuniting was very tearful.

Also yeah all of Katherine’s Pokémon are female

She can’t wait until Octavia evolves

Catherine Parr

Nicknames and genders: Clearsight (female); Mastermind (genderless); Dreamcatcher (male); Solar Flare (genderless); Sepia (female); Ballerina (female)

Clearsight is Parr’s partner. She was already a Noctowl when they met, so Parr didn’t evolve her from a Hoothoot. Still, they’re very close.

Parr thinks Mastermind and Solae Flare are very intriguing, so she does a lot of research on them.

She isn’t big on Pokémon battles, but Sepia is her strongest Pokémon

Dreamcatcher sometimes will just curl up on her head and it’s pretty damn cute

Ballerina likes to be out during performances so she can dance

Bessie

Nicknames and genders: Flower (female); King (male); Kohga (male); Caliburn (female); Ombré (female); Ophelia (female)

Flower is Bessie’s partner. The two met when Bessie was being sent to London for Aragon’s wedding. The carriage was destroyed during a storm and the Absol had sheltered the young eleven year old. Since then, they’ve been a team.

Many people were scared of Flower, since Absols were said to being bad omens. Some say she’s why Aragon could never deliver a live male heir.

Aragon let Bessie keep Flower around because she was so weak for her young lady in waiting and Flower wasn’t hurting anyone, despite the suspicions.

However, when Bessie was exiled, Flower and Bessie were separated and never saw each other again, even after Bessie returned to court. Flower had been culled.

Their reunion was even more tearful than Katherine and Duchess’

King was one of Henry’s Pokémon, but Bessie still took him anyway. Because she believed he was good, despite his trainer.

He has some anger problems, but is truly a good Pokémon and is fiercely protective of Bessie.

He will literally inspect any new Pokémon that get added to the team.

Ombré and Ophelia were a buy one get one free deal. They came together as a Venipede and Stunky. Someone at a train station was literally fucking selling them from cages and Bessie felt so bad for them, so she immediately took them in.

Caliburn hatched from an egg that Bessie was given. Bessie didn’t think she had the ability to take care of a baby Pokémon, but she absolutely fell in love with Caliburn the moment she hatched in her arms.

During shows, Bessie would have to leave the egg unattended and that made her so anxious that the baby might hatch without her there.

And since baby Pokémon get attached to whoever they see first, this little Axew thought Bessie was her mama 🥺🥺

Bessie cried

Maria

Nicknames and genders: [not listed- Raboot] Blister (female); [not listed- Rillaboom] Jambu (male); Hamlet (male); Vertigo (male); Borderline (female); Bentley (male)

Both Blister and Jambu are Maria’s partners. She got them both when her parents surprised her with them when she was a little girl and they were just a Scorbunny and Grookey.

She caught Hamlet shortly after reincarnation because he was just so funky!!

She got Bentley through trading and thought he was just So Cool

Borderline is a little distant, but Maria is trying to bond with her more often

Maggie

Nicknames and genders: Azura (female); [Not listed- Amped Toxtricity] Alto (female); Fidget (female); Bo (female); Fathom (male); Mangrove (male)

Technically, Alto is Maggie’s partner. They’ve been together ever since she was just a Toxel.

Then Maggie met Azura and the three of them were a team.

But after Alto evolved into an amped Toxtricity, she and Maggie grew distant, since Maggie had been expecting a low key Toxtricity. And Alto attitude was very hard to get along with.

Speaking of attitude, Alto sometimes straight up refuses to obey Maggie. Like, Maggie tells her to use Thunderbolt, Alto will use Venshock. Or she’ll come out of her PokéBall without being sent out or called.

Because of this, Maggie is trying to keep her inside her PokéBall as much as possible.

After Anne’s death, Bo came along. And Maggie, who was still mourning, thought this ghost type was the spirit of Anne, hence her name.

Joan

Nicknames and genders: [Not listed- Sobble] Indigo (male); Hyde (female); Tenor (male); Grandeur (male); Fatigue (female); Glorybringer/Glory (female)

None of these six were Joan’s original partner, who didn’t seem to come back after reincarnation.

However, in her second life, Indigo is Joan’s partner. She found him out in the cold behind the theater.

When she first came across Tenor she KNEW she needed him.

She caught Hyde while away on a trip because it was cold outside and Hyde just looked like she was freezing. So she snuck her into her hotel room and fed her and when she woke up the next morning, Hyde was curled up with her on the bed. She knew she had to have her on her team.

Except Hyde causes some problems because the two heads fight a lot. And when they fight, it’s vey loud. So Joan gets even less sleep.

So she caught Fatigue! And everyone warned her about Drowzees and Hypnos, but Joan ignored it. She loves her Drowzee!

Fatigue does her best to help her trainer sleep.

Then we got little Grandeur! He was brought back to life from a fossil.

He’s just a babey 🥺🥺

And, finally, Glorybringer! Glory for short

Joan first saw Glory being mistreated by her trainer during a performance (he was mainly pulling on her ears) and confronted him about it after the show.

Glory was so moved by her helping that she ran all the way back to the theater a few days later to find Joan after escaping her trainer.

Joan immediately took her in

Joan never makes Glory battle unless she wants to. Usually, she’ll just hold her and they’ll watch.

(Glory loves being held)

[karikitdemon]

Time to Wake Up

And more. This is the last one tho. What a ride. @eradition also, kinda sorta spoilers for the game at the end. Sorta.

———-

Link and Kari traveled to the last Divine Beast, Vah Naboris, on horseback as swiftly as they could. They stopped at a nearby stable for the night only to leave their horses behind and travel on foot to the Kara-Kara Bazaar. Kari chuckled, remembering when she first met Urbosa. She was wounded from a fight before entering the bazaar only for Urbosa to find her, bandage her up, and take her home.

“–ri?” Link called.

“Hah?”

“You okay? You kinda spaced out there.” Link asked, a bit worried about her.

Kari nodded. “I’m fine. Just feeling a bit nostalgic. It’s been over a hundred years since I’ve been here.” Kari gave a small smile. “Nothing’s really changed now that I look closely.” She giggled happily. The two went to the town, only to have Link be turned away due to the no voe rule. But Kari was allowed in. Link was left to find a way in on his own while Kari got information. She looked around and saw so many places that made her remember hanging out with Urbosa, or just doing her own thing. The shops, the open areas. It made her happy that it was all so familiar. Then she saw something near the center of town. A large carving on the ground of the town’s center. Kari gulped when she relized what it was. A carving of her symbols, which were shaped like waning crescent moons. A little explanation was written off to the side.

“This symbol is in remembrance of Champion Urbosa’s adoptive child, Kari. The girl who froze herself in time to prevent an enemy from threatening the champions from a possible early defeat. May she forever be remembered by the gerudo people and maybe even across all of Hyrule.” Kari gulped and stared at the carving for a while.

“Sav’aaq.” A woman called upon seeing the child staring at the ground. Kari looked up.

“Ah, Sav’aaq.” She replied fluently, startling the woman slightly.

“So fluent. Ah, sorry. I don’t meet many Sheikah vai who are that fluent with our language. Much less a child.”

Kari giggled. “I can only imagine.” She smiled kindly.

“I just came by to see if you wanted me to further explain the–” The woman gasped and widened her eyes slightly upon seeing the symbol on the child’s forehead, which was also on her torso, back, backs and palms of her hands, and tops and bottoms of her feet. That same symbol depicted on the ground. “P-pardon, what might be your name, young vai?”

“Kari.” She smiled. The woman widened her eyes more and bowed. “H-hey, n-no need to bow miss. But, Sarqso for the gesture.”

The woman stood. “My apologies. I-I just never thought I’d ever meet someone such as you.”

Kari smiled nervously. “Mama must’ve bragged about me while I was frozen. I swear to Hylia mama you can be a bit dramatic… She must’ve missed me. Can’t blame her.” She thought and sighed.

“Would you mind coming with me? I believe there is someone you should meet.” The woman escorted Kari to the chief’s house happily. There she was introduced to Riju.

“So, you are Kari. I’ve heard stories about you from my mother. She from her mother and so on.” She smiled kindly. “I never thought I would actually meet you. You are spoken of highly throughout the whole gerudo race to this day.”

“Oh boy, mama seriously. Even after one hundred years you still manage to embarrass me.” Kari chuckled shyly. “W-wait. If you heard stories of me through your mother, and she before her… Nah, probably just rumor or spread of the stories.”

“If you are suggesting that Lady Urbosa and I are related, then yes. Though, you would have been the younger sister to my ancestor. Urbosa’s birth daughter left on a journey to find a husband long before you arrived in Kara-Kara Bazaar and met Lady Urbosa.” Riju giggled. “Anyway, I suppose your fight with that follower of ganon went well? Core, am I right?”

Kari, who was still shocked she had an older sister at some point, shook her head. “N-no.” She replied. “Well, I dunno. When I unfroze from energy loss Link managed to chase him off since I had gotten weak. It’s hard maintaining a small area frozen in time. I’m surprised I stayed that way for so long.” She sighed.

Riju hummed. “Well, that is no good. But at least you are alive. That is something to be grateful for.” Kari nodded bitterly.

“I mean… I guess…” She replied. “Anyway, I’m here to get information on how to calm Naboris. Mama’s trapped there and I gotta help her.” Riju chuckled.

“I’ve heard of how determined you are, it’s very infectious.” The Gerudo Chief informed. Kari blushed. “Anyway, I know of a few things. It can’t be reached on foot so a sand-seal would be best for this trip. And since it uses lightning, you will not be able to get too close to it unless you want to be struck down on the spot.” She informed. That was when another vai walked in. Kari stared at the vai and sighed.

“… Looks good on him. Blue really brings out his eyes. Though he’s wearing it rather sloppily.” She thought, eyeing the disguised hero. Riju swiftly found out about Link’s identity and decided to have him stay, since he could calm Naboris. She gave them more information on how to approach the divine beast, using an item called the thunder helm, which could protect them from the lightning. However, the two would have to get it from the Yiga clan, who stole it from them. So, the two set out to get it. While exiting the building, Kari wrote something down on a piece of paper after hearing a woman pleading for help from a guard nearby. Something about her husband being ill and needing Molduga guts to cure him. Kari would do this while on the way to the Yiga clan hideout.

Not long later, the two encountered one. “Kari, seriously?!”

“Shut it, I won’t be long!” Kari called and raced towards the giant beast, swiftly killing it with a few hard hits from ranged attacks. It took her about thirty minutes to kill the beast, grab the guts and other items, and head back to Link.

“And you complain about my side quests.” Link huffed.

“Hey, this one was to save a man’s life. Yours were mainly about giant horses, rupees, and shrines.”

“Hey don’t hate my horse! He’s giant and strong and can easily plow through enemies!”

Kari rolled her eyes. “Yeh, and he’s also slow and doesn’t listen well.”

“Venice doesn’t listen. You even did that quest to get him.”

“Hey, Venice and I get along just fine thank you! Just because I bash you about your love for side quests doesn’t mean you can bash my horse!” The girl growled.

“Fine, fine. I will admit, I do more quests than you. But it does keep a stable income, so you shouldn’t complain too much.”

Kari grumbled. “Fine.” She looked around. “I think we’re close.” She mumbled and put her guard up. The two managed to sneak in and snoop around. They then found a secret area that held the leader, called Kohga. The three fought, ending in a victory for Link and Kari. They left, grabbing all of the Yiga clan’s loot along the way and their mighty bananas as well. Once finished they left back for town Kari gave the guts the woman who gave Kari three hundred rupees in return and said she would name her child after her, if she ever had one. Kari blushed at the outcome and watched the woman run off to get her things to head back to her husband. After that Link and Kari gave the helm back to Riju, who used it to help Kari and Link get on Naboris.It took some time, but the two managed to get on the divine beast and look around. Kari smiled widely as a memory resurfaced.

“Mama, what’s it like being a champion?”

“Hmm? Why do you ask?”

“It seems hard. I mean, it’s a lot of pressure, yeh?”

“Well, yes, it is a lot of pressure. The lives of so many people are riding on my and everyone else’s shoulders.”

“Sounds stressful. But you show so much passion in doing it.”

“Yes, it is stressful, but it is worth it. … Kari, listen to me. When you find something you are passionate about promise me one thing. Go for it. Full force. Put all of your passion, energy, everything into it. Work hard, be smart, be brave, don’t be afraid to take risks. But also take care of yourself and stay healthy. If you are truly passionate about something, the stress won’t really matter in the long run. You’ll hit rough patches and sometimes it will be hard, that is true for life. But that will make it much sweeter when you succeed.”

“I promise! If I ever find something like that I’ll work hard at it! Just like you, mama.”

“That’s my Vehvi.”

“Hey, Mama.”

“Yes hun?”

“You’re lap is super comfy.”

“Haha! It’s like a bed to you, isn’t it? I mean, you are rather small.”

“AM NOT! I’M A GIANT!”

Kari chuckled happily at the memory. “… I’ll work hard, mama.” She mumbled.

“Well, well, well. Link, I was wondering when you’d show.” Urbosa’s voice echoed followed by a gasp. “K-kari?!” She sounded surprised and relieved, yet also worried.

“Mama, I’m here. Don’t worry, Link and I will free you! I promise!” She called out and rushed onward with Link, getting the maps and terminals like with the other divine beasts then going to the last terminal. Kari narrowed her eyes, stopping Link before he activated the main terminal. “Link, if things follow the same pattern as the last three divine beasts.” Kari’s eyes showed pure rage. “Then I will take this enemy down. Alone. Please.” Link gulped and sighed.

“Kari… Just, please be careful. Okay?”

Kari chuckled. “If push comes to shove I’ll just freeze myself again for a while so you can kill it.” She replied.

Link sighed in defeat. “Please don’t let it come to that.”

“We’ll see.” Kari shrugged and Link activated the terminal. An enemy formed and Link took cover while Kari stood her ground, ready to fight.

“Kari, that is Thunder Blight Ganon. It is insanely fast, so be on your guard.”

The sheikah child nodded. “Hey!” Kari called. “You may be strong, but I’m stronger!” She roared, her eyes forming three silver rings around her pupils which were now slits. “Because I have a reason to fight!” Kari vanished and reappeared behind the beast, only to have it zip away. It then raced back to strike the girl, but she blocked and attacked with her scarf ends in the forms of blades. Kari was doing her best to keep up with the beast’s speed. Attacking, dodging, blocking, doing everything she could to avoid much damage. It eventually started to use metal pillars as lightning rods to get the girl down. Kari gulped and did her best to avoid the attacks, but she was struck last second by one of the attacks.

“KARI!” Urbosa called as the child yelped in pain. Kari laid on the ground for a moment, eyes wide as a bit of static circulated her body. Thunder Blight Ganon approached the child to finish her off. “KARI, GET UP!” Urbosa called. Link rushed in to attack, but was quickly shoved away by the enemy.

Kari groaned and shakily stood as Thunder Blight Ganon raised its sword to attack. The child smirked. “I’m not d-dyin here. N-not in front of mama. She won’t have to feel that pain again.” Kari managed, gripping her scarf. Both ends pierced through Thunder Blight Ganon and swiftly ripped through it, upward, killing it instantly. Kari gasped and stood on both feet while Link sighed in relief and reclaimed Naboris from Ganon.

Urbosa’s spirit then approached the two. Upon seeing Kari she gulped and raced to her. Kari did the same. The two cried and did their best to calm each other. “Kari, my sweet Kari. Are you okay? You’ve been eating enough, right? You look a bit skinny. Nothing broken? Are you warm or cool enough?” Urbosa asked.

“I’m okay Mama. Nothing’s broken. Link’s been making sure I eat enough. Yes I’m cool enough. And I’ve been this skinny for a while. It might be a temporary side effect of being frozen in time for so long.” Kari replied with a sniffle.

Urbosa sighed solemnly. “I-I’m so sorry you had to see me like this. I thought our reunion would be different.”

Kari sniffled, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “I-it’s okay mama. I’m-I’m just happy to see you, even if it’s just your spirit. But… I’m also sad because I’ll never be able to hug you again a-and you’ll move on without me eventually.”

Urbosa gulped sadly, collecting herself before speaking again. “Just because I’m dead physically does not make me dead permanently, Kari.” The child blinked out of confusion. “Someone only truly dies when they are forgotten. Not when they are killed. That person lives on in the memory of others. That is why I told stories about you to the gerudo people and to those who would listen. So, in my heart and theirs, you lived on. I was unsure back then if you were… physically gone. I knew you were just frozen but I was not sure if that would last, so I did what I thought was best.” Kari teared up and hiccuped.

“Aw, mama. Sarqso.” She smiled and hiccuped. “S-Sarqso.” She repeated.

Urbosa smiled happily as she saw her daughter’s pure smile for the first time in one hundred years. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

“I can only imagine.” Kari replied, wiping her eyes and nose again. Link sighed.

“Hey, uh, hate to break it to you guys. But we gotta go.”

Kari looked up at Link. “Ya know. I’ll stay here and talk with mama. You can go back and do those quests and shrines and all that. Okay? I… I wanna catch up with mama. Tell that to Riju too, I think she wanted to talk with me some more when shr had the chance.” Kari informed then approached Link and handed him a whistle. “Here. I made this myself. It has my power imbued in it so when you blow it I’ll hear you wherever you are and warp to you. Only use it when you’re about to fight Ganon, okay?” She informed and smirked. “Because I wanna help bring down the man or beast or whatever responsible for all of this.” She said. Link nodded and took the whistle.

“Got it. You take care of yourself. Okay?” Link smiled and waved goodbye to the two. Urbosa drove Naboris to a good spot to lock onto the castle and crossed her arms. Once that was done she sat down with Kari with a smile.

“So, where should I start? Oh I know, so I woke up about three months ago and–” Kari began telling Urbosa her adventures she had with Link happily. Making gestures and a few jokes and enjoying the time she had left with her mother. Eventually the time came when the two had to part ways so Kari could defeat Ganon with Link. It was a long and hard battle, but they won barely. As for Core, he was not seen or heard from. He must have fled when Ganon was sealed again. But, he might return when Ganon threatens Hyrule once again.

Years had passed since Ganon’s defeat. Kari was living in Zora’s domain with her husband, Sidon. She was now technically one hundred and twenty seven. She had gained a good amount of muscle from fights in the past and training as well as a few scars. Things were peaceful now, still a few monsters here and there, but still overall not as bad as they were. Everything was going well with Hyrule now.

“Mama!” A young voice called behind the sheikah woman as she walked home from training.

“Mama, mama!” Another voice called. The woman turned and smiled. A young gerudo girl and a young rito boy raced to her side. “Mama, what’s for dinner?” The rito boy asked with a smile.

“Not sure. How about you two help me decide?”

“I wanna eat something with volt fruit in it!” The gerudo girl giggled happily, her long hair flowing in the gentle breeze and her piercing teal eyes shimmered in the light of the sunset.

Kari chuckled and the rito boy huffed, ruffling his silver and white feathers. “No way, those are gross!” He stuck out his tongue in disgust while his sky blue eyes squinted slightly.

“Says you, Revba! Volt fruits are delicious!” The gerudo girl stuck her tongue out at her brother in a taunting manner.

“Stop that!” The rito boy growled, apparently named Revba, while ruffling his feathers more.

Kari chuckled and sighed. “Alright, settle down you two. Urboha, don’t antagonise your brother, you know how he hates it. Now come on, you are both helping me with dinner.”

“Yes mama.” The two called in unison, following the sheikah woman happily.

“Hey, hey mama.” Urboha called happily while pulling up her long hair into a high, floofy ponytail. “Tell us about granny Urbosa again while we cook! Please!”

“No, no, tell us about Great Uncle Revali!” Revba called while trying to flatten his feathers to the way he liked them. Kari rolled her eyes at the two.

“How about I tell you something else? Your father and I thought about adopting two more kids. A goron and a Zora. Maybe a third, a hylian. But nothing is certain.”

“Really?! Awesome!” Revba chuckled, a wide smile on his face. “I can’t wait to have a little sibling!”

Urboha smiled. “Yay, more siblings!” Kari giggled at her children’s happiness. “Hey, are we gonna see Uncle Link and Aunt Zelda any time soon? Or Uncle Yunobo? Or Aunt Riju? Or even Uncle Teba and Aunt Saki?”

“I dunno. Maybe. Your aunts and uncles are very busy you know. So if they can visit, I’m sure they will let us know.” Kari smiled. “Right, let’s get cooking. My mama taught me this recipe so it should be delicious.” Kari smiled and cooked with her two children, telling them stories about the champions from so long ago while doing so.

You’ve grown so much, Kari. I’m proud of the vai you’ve become.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Because I desperately need some fluff for my soul... Kohga and Mipha cooking together for their men, and it's adorable BFF bonding time?

That IS cute??? Let's do it!

"This is a surprisingly cute idea from you, Kohga."

Link and Sooga were out, with Link trying to teach Sooga how to tame horses. It's why Kohga and Mipha were at Link's house, and more specifically, his kitchen. Kohga waved his hand dismissively as he finished washing the vegetables they needed.

"Don't make me sound soft. I just. Know this is something kinda rough for Sooga. He REALLY wants horses to like him, and they don't."

"Why DOES that matter to him so much? I thought he hated horses?"

Kohga shrugged as he peeled the carrots, getting them ready for the oven, all while Mipha started to slice her mushrooms.

"He doesn't LOVE them, but he thinks they're pretty. And I think he's doing this more for me, since I love them a lot."

"Is he taking inspiration from your books?"

Kohga paused in between his vegetable prep, chuckling a bit awkwardly.

"Okay, okay, maybe. I mean the whole 'being whisked off on horseback', YOU'VE had that before, you know how great it is."

Mipha daydreamed for a moment, thankfully after she was done with the mushrooms.

"It is, really~...oh, sorry."

She gave an awkward chuckle as Kohga gave her a 'really, bitch?' Look. Kohga rolled his eyes, before finishing the seasoning on his carrots, before pulling the fish out of the bag. He WISHED he asked them to butcher it for him.

"Ugh. Hate. Fish. Why do I gotta like a guy who likes it so much?"

"I'm the same with ironshrooms. Hate them, but Link adores them. But in all seriousness, I just think it's cute that you're making this easier for him-do you want me to cut that up for you? You're staring."

Kohga shook his head wildly, trying to pump himself up. He hated fish, but Sooga's favorite, salmon, was just the worst.

"No. I got it. I hate it, but I hate it even more when someone else does it."

"Sounds like you just want it to be perfect. You like Sooga, you like Sooga~"

"Oh my Ganon, shut up."

Kohga snorted at her stupid little song. It was just the distraction he needed to help him cut the fish into filets, and toss it in the oven alongside the carrots. Meanwhile, Mipha turned her back to him in order to start her steak and mushroom sauce.

"It's not my fault you make it painfully obvious. Not that I'm genuinely trying to poke fun, I think it's precious. Now, have we decided on dessert yet?"

"I was thinking just fruitcake, but I'm open to suggestions."

"Well..."

She trailed off, letting the steak sit on the pan while she dug into Link's fridge.

"We have a block of chocolate in here. If you don't mind a bite taken out of it."

"I mean I'll eat it."

"Kohga."

"Kidding, kidding! Kinda. Anyway I might have a recipe in mind."

Mipha took it out of the fridge, cutting the bite mark off, trying not to think about how gross it was, Kohga eating it.

"I'm listening."

"Thinking of maybe a chocolate banana ice cake. We got the sugar, butter, leftover cookies- everything."

Mipha scowled as she thought.

"It's a nice idea, but do we have time for that?"

"Depends. Think you can hold down the fort here while I make it? Once it's in the freezer it's just set it and forget it at that point."

Mipha nodded, putting her hands on her hips, and smiling rather smugly.

"I think I can manage."

"Atta girl! Let's do it!"

They did a rather cheesy fistbump before they got to it. You'd be surprised how much a little fish princess and an old man could get done when they worked together honestly. Kohga got his cake in the freezer, and when Mipha got her dishes in the sink, she looked through the window.

"Oh! They're back!"

Kohga finished up the other dishes, starting to plate them and put them on the table.

"Just in time! How do you think it went?"

"I'm looking...he's signaling-oh no. Oh. It went. Poorly."

Mipha rushed to the door, opening it and allowing Sooga inside, while Link put his horse back into the stable.

"Mipha, Master Kohga."

Sooga peered over her shoulder, looking at the kitchen table.

"You...made us dinner?"

Mipha nodded, rather sweetly.

"We did. Kohga thought you'd be hungry after such a long day."

"WE thought! It wasn't just my idea!"

Mipha kept her voice low as she walked him to the table.

"It was absolutely his idea, he loves you so much its precious-"

"Mipha I will throw YOU in the fryer, try me."

She helped him into a seat, before suddenly yelping, almost making Kohga drop a plate.

"Oh my goodness, Sooga!"

"What? What happened?"

"He has hoofprints on his back!!"

Kohga quickly walked over to see, and sure enough, he had two giant hoofspots on his back. WAY bigger than a normal horse. Kohga winced.

"Holy SHIT. You got FUCKED UP."

"How did you WALK in here?"

Sooga averted his gaze, clearly embarrassed.

"I uh. Didn't think you'd notice-"

"Imma kill you. Mipha, fix him before I kill him. Sooga, she's gonna touch you, alright?"

Mipha thought it was sweet. How, despite his rather aggressive tone, he comforted him. Not just by having his wounds healed, but letting him know when something he feared (women), was going to touch him. He still looked uncomfortable as her hands rested on his back, but at least he didn't jump. Link walked in a second later, clearly looking apologetic. Mipha turned to look at him.

"You took the big one, didn't you?"

He nodded. Kohga scowled as he dipped into the kitchen for more food.

"Why didn't give him a small fella? You had to take the big bastard?"

"Usually Spice has such a sweet temperament..."

Sooga moped on the spot, disappointed by the failure.

"Not towards me. Almost pulled the hair off my head, then it ran over me. Twice. And uhm...if it's not too much, he bit my hand. And a towel if you can, he spat in my face. And he bit my shoulder too, actually-"

"And you were gonna sit there and not say shit?"

Kohga glared at him, and Sooga shrunk further. Mipha was thinking about scolding him, when Kohga sat across from him, holding a bowl of fried zucchinis.

"You know what, just shut up and eat."

Kohga stuffed one in his mouth, and of course, Sooga adored it. Mipha gave his back a gentle pat once she was done, handing him a rag like he asked.

"You're healed, do wash your hands, then come and eat."

"Thank you, Mipha."

Link and Sooga went off to wash, and Kohga stuffed a zucchini in his own mouth.

"He's so dumb. Imma kill him."

"Uh huh. You just hand fed him a zucchini that you personally made by hand."

"Shut up, you don't get to be right."

"It's not my fault you two make it so obvious-LINK NO! NO CAKE!"

Mipha got out of her seat to keep Link out of the freezer, and the sight made Sooga chuckle as he sat down next to Kohga.

"You made that cake, didn't you?"

"I did, because I like the cake. And you like it too, by coincidence."

Sooga took both of his hands in his own, bringing them to his chest.

"I love you. I adore you. You have so much love in your heart, I taste it in everything you make. This is a delight, and an honor. I apologize that I'm...failing, trying to give you something you want."

Oh the poor guy looked like he wanted to cry. Kohga sighed, leaning in to bump his mask against his.

"It's not your fault horses just don't like you. You're trying. And it's as stupid as it is sweet. You're willing to get trampled just to try to make me happy."

There was a moment of silence between them. Of appreciation and affirmation between them. It was tender. Sweet. Then Sooga saw Link sitting there, grinning as if he knew some kind of secret. Sooga nudged him away, scowling.

"I'm having a moment here, go away."

Kohga snickered, leaning over to pat his cheek, before turning to the table. He immediately started to put food on the plate. Brown sugar glazed salmon, sweet and spicy carrots, fresh bread and butter, fried zucchini, crab cakes, and roasted pumpkin squash. Sooga was about to ask why was he eating fish, when Kohga plopped the plate in front of Sooga. Mipha was the first to point out what they were all thinking.

"Did you just. Serve Sooga?"

Kohga seemed to just now notice. He had taken a nice, full plate of food, and given it to Sooga.

"I...no. No I didn't?"

Sooga sat there, clearly not trying to let his heart gush with feelings.

"You did. You...served me a plate. I didn't even ask you. You just. Did it for me. That's...VERY sweet of you~"

"It's not that big of a deal!"

Mipha gave Link his plate, trying not to grin too much.

"I do it for Link. And I love Link. So that must mean-"

"You know what, Sooga, give me that fucking plate."

"But you hate fish-"

"I AM PETTY ENOUGH FOR THIS."

Sooga, for the good of Kohga, had to lift the plate out of his grasp, despite his VERY loud demands for the plate to be given to him. Mipha looked over at Link, who was just chowing down.

"They love each other. Much how I love you~"

He leaned over to kiss her cheek, making her laugh at the buttery smudge he left in his wake.

Suffice to say, the horsing around wasn't done just yet.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

So Sooga gets along with Revali, Sidon, Riju- what about Urbosa and Daruk? I don't think I recall the dynamic between him and the others. And I think Kohga is missing a few too- i guess im asking for headcanons here.

Oh good point. All of these are susceptible to change, so nothing is particularly set in stone.

Sooga;

Enjoys hanging out with Revali. He admires not just his talent, but the fact that he hides his insecurities very well. Match that with his quick wit and their mutual love for making fun of Link honestly makes them buddies. They like to train, have tea, and have a nice crab omlette (Sooga is on and off in terms of how comfortable he is, eating around Revali). Revali, along with every other rito (namely women) have a crush on him. Sooga just, fucking attracts birds for some reason.

Sidon is his close second friend. Big as he is, a lover of fish, Sidon is annoying in a sort of endearing way. He likes fishing, hiking, swimming, collecting shells with him. When they aren't having fun outside or fucking, you'll see them indoors, whittling while Sidon goes on and on about some story. Sooga likes to listen, Sidon loves to talk. They just work.

Riju. Riju is sort of like his niece. He treats her respectfully, but having grown up with six sisters, Sooga has the instinct to care for her. He takes her out for ice cream, he does her nails/hair, listens to her rant, and even helps pet sit Patricia from time to time (and Patricia LOVES him, she blows him kisses all the time). He's also kinda protective. A boy her age tried talking to her, he went missing the next day. Odd I know.

Urbosa. Urbosa acts like HIS older sister, and while women make him uncomfortable, he trusts her more than most. She's always there to give him words of encouragement, always there to help him against some rather hungry ladies- she just has his back. Sometimes they meet up for a nice dessert and talk about what they like in men (Urbosa loves ladies too, but women are lost on Sooga).

Mipha. Sooga and Mipha get along. They aren't at each other’s throats, but Sooga isn't exactly nuts about her. She finds him slightly imposing, he doesn't like being near women-without Kohga, they're awkward with one another.

Teba. Sooga and Teba actually get along pretty well. They're both rather strong and silent types. That is, until Sooga asks about the family life. They end up sitting next to each other, tending to their weapons, while Teba tells him what it's like to be a dad. They're quiet overall.

Daruk. Daruk and Sooga...they co exist. Sooga doesn't hate him, but he isn't a fan. Jealousy from Kohga aside, Sooga doesn't like that he's loud, brazen, VERY touchy, and is constantly trying to get him to eat. Suffice to say, Sooga would prefer anyone else's company (he was once in a room with JUST him and Mipha. It sucked).

Sooga and Yunobo. For some reason, he's chosen to adopt him too, and is constantly acting as his confident. He's constantly making sure he's eaten and slept, and is trying to help him come out of his shell. The 'he asked for no pickles' meme, but in an uncle way. Sooga likes to take him out to smash boulders during the day, and hunt for fireflies at night. Yunobo once fell asleep on him, Sooga didn't have the heart to move him. He had to see a doctor for his back the next day, but worth it.

Link and Sooga have a VERY competitive relationship. They've established early on that they're rivals, and as such, wanna beat each other's shit on a daily basis. They lowkey need to stop hitting each other and just bone, everyone sees it.

The Great faeries. Not champions, but imma include it anyway-they coddle the crap out of him because he's honestly adorable to them. He really. Really wishes they'd stop kissing him, just ONCE. They're all better than Malanya though, for some reason he fucking HATES Sooga.

Zelda. Sooga...does not like Zelda. I'll leave it at that. Let's just say you shouldn't leave them alone together.

Impa/Purah/Robbie. Its fucking on site with Impa, Purah is actually tolerable, and Robbie is just fucking annoying.

Kohga!!;

Kohga of course, LOVES his lil red fishy, Mipha. You kidding me? She's a cherry! An absolutely precious lil ruby! Kohga loves her SO much, she can pretty much just waltz into the clan whenever she pleases, and gets whatever she wants by asking for it. They're ABSOLUTELY bff's. Shopping, cooking, talking about boys and taking selfies, they're practically joined at the hip. I'm telling you, Kohga would end game any bitch if Mipha asked.

Daruk. Kohga LOVES the guy! Not just because he's easy on the eyes, but he's big, loud, rowdy, pair that up with his love for food, and these two can keep each other company FOREVER. Just, be warned if booze is allowed, and may god help your pantry. When they AREN'T raining hell, they spend time at the hot springs, and let me tell you, you've never seen two dudes happier, they're like pigs in shit.

Sidon. Kohga and Sidon get along great! Nice to look at, Sidon is also just a sweetie who just. Does whatever Kohga tells him to. Like Sooga, but dumb as hell. One of the few people that BOTH of them can hang around with. Seriously though, Sidon is a big dumb sweetie, Kohga LOVES it.

Urbosa. Her and Kohga get along, in a sorta 'let's meet for brunch on Sundays' kinda way. It's a casual friendship, and honestly? It's comfortable for them. He's still lowkey scared of her though.

Kohga is Riju's OTHER uncle. He's the more 'tell me about the boys you like' kinda uncle. Total enabler, he lets Riju do all the kid stuff she never really got the chance to do. You wanna play with chalk? Absolutely. You wanna get your shoes dirty? Course! You wanna eat all the candy and go pants a royal guard? He's IN.

Revali is an ass. Full of himself, snarky, and so in the closet, they bicker ALL the fucking time. They don't HATE each other, they just fucking can't get along. They fought over BREAD once.

Teba doesn't love Kohga. He's not quiet, he squirms a lot, and even if he's asleep, he tosses and turns a LOT. Teba just puts up with him, while Kohga thinks he's boring, but nice to look at.

Yunobo is more loved by Sooga than Kohga, but he thinks the kid is a peach. He teaches him how to talk to boys he likes. Can't help with girls though. Still sweet to the poor kid though, always brings him something to eat, because he worries.

Kohga LOVES Link! They both love food (especially fried bananas), Kohga loves Link's antics, Link loves Kohga’s funny dance moves- they just click. You'll often see them napping together after a buffet of food.

The great faeries! He LOVES them!! They're big, they're beautiful, they proud and loud- they are just his gal pals. He knows each ones specific tastes, and its so easy for him to charm the pants off of them during tea time. Don't tell anyone, but Malanya is his favorite, they love talking about horses.

Impa/Purah/Robbie. Kohga doesn't hate Impa, but the girl is SUCH a buzzkill. Instead of going and getting her a girl, she's here, scolding him for some random rule. Smh. He LOVES Purah though. They're TOTAL shutterbugs together, and they both agree that Impa needs to get a girlfriend. Robbie is also a TOTAL babe. Like if dude likes to experiment, Kohga can run some tests on that DI-

Zelda. Kohga...hates that he likes her. She's just a sweet gal, and with a smile like that? He can't hate her. He visits here and there for political reasons, but they do have lunch and catch up. Him and Sooga do sometimes help pick outfits/looks as well. And...well. The royal stables are a HUGE plus (seriously, Kohga SWOONS for her white horse. He jokes that he's more handsome than Sooga. He's half kidding, that fucker is a BEAUTIFUL horse).

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Camping double date with Miphlink and the Yiga Husbands??

This is a TERRIBLE idea. Why? Because Kohga loves to live like a king, so camping is something he HATES. Unfortunately, Sooga got to pick the double date idea, and he LOVES camping. So, let's go!

 "We could've gone sunbathing on a beach. Could've even gone to the shores of Zora's domain. But no. You just. Had to pick the FUCKING woods!"

Sooga chuckled as he checked the sturdiness of the tent. Mipha and Link often went on double dates with them(to show their support), and the four of them took turns on where to go. It was Sooga's turn, and he picked a camping date. Not JUST a camping date, but a camping date up on Satori fucking mountain. It meant they had to fucking HIKE. And Kohga was hating EVERY moment of it. It must’ve been obvious, given the fact that Mipha was staying with him as Link and Sooga lead the pack. Sooga was grinning as he walked backwards, clearly not trying to sound giddy.

“Master Kohga, this is a nice change of pace, is it not? The smell of trees, the plentiful resources? It’s lovely. I mean, not as lovely as you, but still lovely.”

“You’re using flirts to keep me from going home.”

“Is it working?”

“...kinda. But don’t push it.”

Sooga nodded. Him and Link were having just a ball during this little trek, and it was JUST because of that, that Kohga wasn’t making him pick him up. Mipha chuckled, lightly nudging Kohga.

“Do be patient. Love is full of that. I’m sure he appreciates being out here.”

“He better, I’m taking all his future turns.”

The climb was slow, exhausting, and Kohga was SO goddamn happy when Sooga and Link started to unpack their things, ready to set up camp. It was near the top of the cliff, and a number of trees decorated the rocky land. Kohga sat down on a log, groaning. Kohga wasn’t in bad shape, but hiking was just AWFUL compared to working out at home. Dirt, animals, all of it just sucked to him. He’d MUCH rather be working out at home (Kohga could name other ways he could work a sweat with Sooga).

“Why THIS spot? There’s BARELY any stable ground, and these trees barely leave us rooms for the tent.”

Sooga nodded as he finally undid all of his prep work.

“It’s true, but this spot is special, I swear. Now, if you’ll excuse us. Link, you first?”

Link nodded, and started to clear the trees and bushes. Not all of them, but enough to give them actual stable land to pitch tents in. Kohga watched as Link and Sooga chopped the trees, tossing them in the corner for firewood. Mipha chuckled as she sat next to Kohga.

“Hey. At least we can watch the boys do a little bit of labor.”

Kohga gave her a bit of a side eye. Mipha was really starting to know him.

“I mean, true, I do like watching cute guys do hard work. Think Sooga’s showing off for me?”

“Absolutely.”

They both shared a bit of a giggle, and immediately Kohga felt just a bit better. Even if a fuck ton of bugs kept hovering around. They both finally finished, pitched their tents (one for each couple, for privacy of course), and Sooga immediately started to make a fire. He was pretty good at it, getting it ready and roaring just when Kohga was starting to lose patience. Sooga patted the dirt from his hands, and walked over, grabbing Kohga’s hand and kissing the back of it.

“I left some food for you in the pack, but I’m going to catch something more...lively. I will come back in a moment.”

He turned to Link, who was already starting to unpack the food bags. 

“Link, keep an eye in my stead. Precious cargo here.”

Sooga walked off to god knows where, and Mipha smiled her precious little smile.

“He loves you very much. I can tell.”

“Yeah yeah. Makin’ me trek all the way up here, all sweaty and shit. He loved me, he would’ve picked an ACTUALLY good trip.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Mipha, I love ya, but stop being right about things.”

Link even seemed to smile about that, bringing a bunch of bananas over to Kohga. At LEAST he packed him something good to eat. Link helped a bit too, going to a nearby tree to pluck some fresh durian fruit. Link gave them both fruit as he tended to the fire, and Kohga SAW that swoon on Mipha’s adorable face.

“Hey, I saw that.”

“Saw what?”

“You swooning over your man, you little minx!”

Mipha stammered, but as Link looked over, shooting her a wink, she knew she had been had, hiding her face in her hand, and trying to hide at Kohga’s side. Kohga laughed, shaking his head.

“You two! Got it SO bad! It’s precious! You two really deserve to be together.”

Mipha peered past her hands, to make sure Link wasn’t looking anymore, before looking back up at Kohga.

“Well thank you. Father appears to think so, as does Sidon. Can I uhm...tell you a secret?”

“Shoot little red.”

Mipha covered the side of her mouth with her palm, keeping her voice low.

“I made Zora armor for Link. I’m planning on giving it to him this week.”

That was Zora lingo for ‘marriage’ essentially, and Kohga nearly jumped off his seat, hands thrown about wildly.

“YOU’RE SERIOUS?!”

The sound of his scream made Link miss his shot, about to shoot a bird for dinner. Upon missing, he turned to scowl rather heavily at Kohga, who muttered an apology. When he turned away, Kohga finally found his heart back in his chest, rather than his throat.

“You’re gonna get MARRIED?”

“I’m planning on it, yes!”

“Mipha, lil’ red, I love you to bits, but you’re SO young! How could you want to get married NOW?”

Mipha turned to look at Link, gently cocking her head in a loving, adoring fashion.

"I'm certain I'll never find another for me. I adore him with all my heart. I want to marry him. Very, very much. Do you...not think it's a good idea?"

"No no! I mean, great that you wanna settle. It's great. I fully support you both. I just...the idea of getting married is weird to me, I guess. But I mean, so long as I get to be the best man."

"That's my brother."

"Okay fair. What about flower girl?"

"Riju."

"Ring bearer?"

"That's Midnight."

Kohga threw his arms in the air, in total disbelief. 

"Who's Midnight?!"

"Link's horse."

"...That's actually super cute."

"Isn't it? If it helps any, you can help me pick my wedding outfit."

"Deal."

They both shook hands, satisfied with the deal. Kohga held onto her hand for a moment, clearing his throat.

"But uh...don't tell Sooga, yeah? He's wedding crazy, and if he hears you're gonna get hitched, he's NOT gonna let me hear the end of it."

"End of what?"

They both turned to see Sooga, carrying an entire honeyvore bear over his shoulder. Kohga should've been surprised by his man carrying a whole ass bear like a sack of flour, but he really wasn't.

"Nothing. See you got dinner."

"I did. I was going for a mountain goat, but this one didn't seem to know how to behave. I trust Link has been taking care of you in my stead?"

"Totally. Cut us up some fruit like a good boy and everything."

Kohga pinched Link's cheek as he came over, eager to show his arms full of freshly killed pigeons. Sooga chuckled, rustling Link's hair.

"Quite the provider you have here, Mipha. Should you two marry, I can assure you'd never go hungry."

Kohga tried not to groan. Marriage ALWAYS came up with his ass. It seemed to make Link a bit nervous too, as his face turned dark, and he went back to tending the fire. Mipha giggled into her palm.

"Thank you, Sooga. That's sweet of you to say. But I'm not looking on proposing here and now, so."

Sooga shrugged as he started to cut through the animal's hide, getting it ready for the flames.

"The future is fickle. Who truly knows?"

There was a smirk in his tone, even Mipha seemed to catch onto it. Kohga rolled his eyes. The idea of marriage was so ridiculous to him. Being tied down to one person forever? Fucking ONE piece of ass forever? Not his thing. But hey, he wasn’t Mipha. He scooted over next to Sooga as soon as he put the meats over the fire.

“Sooga, how much longer till it’s ready, you think?”

Sooga chuckled. His Master LOVED to eat, and while he was no chef, he could cook some good, fresh meat over a campfire. He cut a piece of the meat, showing Kohga just how raw it was.

“It’ll take a good minute, Master. Unless you’d like it raw, then I can serve you a piece now.”

Kohga stuck his nose up at it, and Sooga, for some reason, found his face so charming.

“Who wants to eat raw ass-”

Link snatched the piece from his hand, stuffing it in his mouth. Kohga sighed.

“Right. Link. The guy that will actually eat ANYTHING. You remember the time he just, ate some fucking rocks?”

“I recall, yes. Yet, he makes a VERY good fish pie.”

“Hey. Bad enough we HIKED here, don’t you even bring UP fish.”

Sooga gave a light shake of his head, even as Kohga smacked at his tit. He was lucky he was fine, else Kohga wouldn’t put up with his nonsense. They spent a good moment in idle chit chat (how restoration to kingdoms were, recent training practices, new dishes, the usual stuff you’d talk about with folks you more or less considered family), before Sooga handed Kohga a healthy plate of food. Fried wild greens, and spiced meat skewers (Kohga ALWAYS had Sooga bring goron spices whenever they went out. Kohga put it on EVERYTHING, especially meat). Kohga helped himself, digging into his meal hungrily. Sooga was a shit cook in a modern kitchen, but when it came to spicing and cooking meat out in the wild, Sooga was damn good enough. Juicy insides, and a nice, crispy outside. Him and Link didn’t talk as much, in favor of eating ravenously and enjoying their meals.

“Sooga, you don’t like goron spice?”

“Not especially. I always give my portion to Kohga, who loves it. But I prefer mine lightly salted. And I'm not the only one, it seems."

A raven seemed to trot over to them, eyeing Sooga curiously. It welcomed the slices of meat Sooga tossed its way, and Sooga noticed Kohga’s look of interest.

"Birds always did seem to like me, for whatever reason. Watch."

Sooga brought his hand down, and almost immediately, the bird jumped into his hand, eyeing everyone curiously. Kohga leaned over and lightly poked its head, making it squawk.

"Huh. That's why Revali thinks you're hot."

Sooga shook his head, as if something smelled. 

"I wish you hadn't told me that. Makes me wish birds hated me."

"What if it was Teba?"

Sooga took a moment in hesitation, before lightly nodding.

“I like Teba.”

“EVERYONE likes Teba, can’t say I blame you here.”

Sooga gave the crow another scrap of meat, before motioning for it to leave, which it did, but not before looking back at Sooga once more. Mipha handed her plate to Link (who always ate whatever she couldn’t finish), before softly nodding.

“That’s honestly quite charming. I’m personally really good with fish, though it might be a Zora thing.”

Then the most odd thing happened. Link put his plate down (with food STILL on it), and nearly leapt towards Mipha, clearly excited. She seemed surprised for a moment, before chuckling.

“Oh, you want me to show them, don’t you?”

Link nodded again, wildly. Mipha held onto her head fin, and the spots on her skin seemed to glow, which seemed to glow brightly as the sun soon seemed to die down. 

“Woah. Since when could you do that?”

“Always. It’s made to attract fish, bugs...Hylians.”

Link was just enthralled in her spots, fingers carefully brushing against her skin. She sat there, as flattered and flustered as a young princess could be, while Link just sat there, adoring her like something out of a story book. Sooga looked down at Kohga, who was enthralled with them both. With the moon gracing the sky, now was just as good of a time as any.

“Master Kohga, I think these two need a moment of privacy. Could I...show you something?”

Kohga nodded, quietly helping them sneak away. This somehow ended with Sooga leading Kohga god knows where, covering his mask with his hands.

“Sooga, why can’t I just close my eyes?”

“You peek.”

“I won’t this time! Maybe!”

“Relax, Master Kohga. We’re almost there. Now, be silent.”

Kohga stopped talking, and just trusted Sooga to guide him. He was about to take another step, when Sooga stopped him in his tracks. His voice was in a hushed, low tone.

“Open your eyes.”

Kohga did just that, and couldn’t believe his eyes. Blupees. Blupees , surrounding a lake, littered in cherry tree petals. They all sat there, hopping about, grooming their long, orange feelers. They hadn’t been noticed yet, and it was incredible. Some sipped at the lake water, some seemed to hop amongst the piles of petals. Kohga kept his voice low, in disbelief.

“You...knew they’d be here.”

“I did. This trip was the perfect opportunity to show you something as beautiful as you are. I take it you’ve never seen them up close?”

“No. Only in books. They’re...so different in person.”

Kohga took a step forward, making a branch snap. They thought it had been the end of it, when one of the blupees turned to look at him. But then, it chose not to run. Rather, it hopped right to Kohga, standing on its rear legs and eyeing him curiously. Kohga glanced at Sooga, before looking back towards the creature.

“Thought they were skittish?”

“They’re supposed to be. Unless they consider you not a threat.”

“W-hey! I’m plenty threatening! Go on, get!”

Kohga knelt down and pointed at it, only for it to bump against his hand, and snuggle into it like a stray cat. Kohga grumbled in a mixture of confusion and amazement, before another blupee walked over. Then another. Then another. They all scattered about him, clearly fascinated and eager to rub their little faces against him. It made Kohga fall on his ass, trying not to step on them. Sooga knelt down to him, ever ready to be of assistance. Though, it seemed the only thing his master was in danger of, was getting a permanent scowl. He chuckled.

“I don’t think they find you too threatening. Foolish creatures, honestly.”

“I should be making these bunnies shake in their boots dammit.”

Kohga raised a hand in accusation, before a blupees seemed to fall right into it, desperate for a good petting. Sooga took a small step forward, careful not to spook them, before he clunked his mask against Kohga’s.

“You...never cease to amaze me, Master Kohga. You’re incredible. These creatures thrive on purity. I can only imagine how much of it is in your heart.”

Kohga scoffed, playfully pushing his face away with his hand.

“It’s nothing like that, these things are just dumb. But… this is sweet. YOU’RE sweet. And as much as I hated the hiking, the bugs...this was nice. I don’t ever think I’m going to forget this, Sooga.”

“So I did good for my turn?”

“Good enough to try again, yes. God you’re so dumb and pretty.”

Sooga chuckled. He parted his mask, as well as his master’s, and was about to lean in for a kiss, when suddenly a shadow peered over them. Both of them jumped a bit, scaring a few of the blupees. Kohga stood aghast at the creature, while Sooga looked stiff.

“Is that...the Lord of the Mountain?”

“Yes. Aka, one that brings curses upon the land it walks.”

Sooga brought out his weapon, and aimed it right between its faces. The creature stared at him, before slowly walking past Sooga, and stopping right in front of Kohga. It slowly brought its head down, right into Kohga’s lap. It looked at him with it’s intense, bright eyes. Kohga looked unsure of what to do, before he slowly, carefully, brought his hand right next to his face. Kohga motioned wildly with his free hand, totally in disbelief.

“I’m petting it! I’m THIS cool! Can you SEE this?!”

The Lord seemed comforted by his hand, eyes lidded as Kohga’s hands nestled and scratched at it’s fur. It was brief, but it was enough to leave a lasting impression in Sooga’s mind. The creature pulled away after a moment, before dipping its face into the water, taking a sip. Then it took a step towards Sooga, and promptly spat water at his face. With a snort, and a stomp of it’s hoof, it turned, and started to graze within the water. Sooga turned to look at Kohga, who was trying VERY hard not to laugh.

“Pffft! It spat water at you! Holy CRAP, he does NOT like you!”

Kohga lost it at that point, pointing at Sooga and just losing himself in laughter. He only stopped once Sooga knelt down, and held his hand in his own.

“I’m. So in love with you, you couldn’t even fathom it-”

“This shit again.”

“Say the word and I’d be your husband IMMEDIATELY.”

Kohga groaned, using his other hand to smack his forehead. It wasn’t entirely Sooga’s fault that he was so lovesick though.

Not when the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen, got to pet the Lord of the Mountain.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Can we get Sooga fucking Link in Gerudo armor? Like he just thinks its a pretty little thing in cute clothes??

I. Love this idea. Surprised it us so long to get here tbh. Let's go!

"This is ridiculous.”

“Oh come on, Sooga!”

Kohga had found Sooga to be a bit of a stick in the mug lately, so he commanded both Cil, and another blade master to take him out for a night of fun. So far, Sooga wasn’t having any. They were at a recently made bar, found right at Kara Kara Bazaar. The place was jumping, but Sooga was the only one not having any fun. Clif shrugged.

“If you want to go home and disobey Kohga’s orders, be my guest.”

Sooga mumbled, running his hands through his hair. It was one thing to waste time on something as stupid as drinking, but the fact that they were doing so OUT of disguise, made Sooga EXTREMELY uncomfortable. The third Yiga, a rather foolish one named ‘Von’, chuckled, nudging Sooga by his shoulder.

“Look, NO ONE knows who we are here. We could give them any bullshit name, and just have some drinks.”

“I don’t like either of you seeing my face.”

“it’s why we’re ALL like this! We’re ALL vulnerable out here. Now come on Sooga, ONE drink! Cil, back me up here!”

Cil gave a shrug of his shoulders.

“Kohga DID give us rupees to spend on you. You might as well take up on his generosity.”

Sooga took a deep inhale. He HATED being away from his Kohga. But, this WAS a command, who was he to disobey? 

“Fine, fine. I will have ONE drink, then we’ll go home, and we’ll tell Kohga I had my fun. Fair?”

“Now we’re talking! Yo! drink vai!”

Von waved wildly at some poor waitress (he wasn’t a rude guy, he just liked women a BIT too much), who walked up to them, notebook in hand.

“Listen, we want three Noble pursuits, and make them strong for us, yeah? Our guy here needs to come out of his shell! Right Sooga?”

Sooga turned to him, ready to verbally humiliate him in front of some little vai, when he saw her. She was a vision. A small thing, with hair that reminded him of tabantha wheat, a small, yet sleek body littered in scars, and her eyes. Her eyes were emotionless and blue, like the coldest chunks of ice. Her black, lacy attire covered her face, but with help from the lighting, Sooga could see the shadow of a small, stunning mouth. The vai nodded, making note of the order, before Cil raised his hand up a bit.

“Oh and uh, I want something to eat too. Something to help me get a little less drunk than these idiots.”

The vai nodded, before walking off past the crowd of people. Sooga watched her leave, and found himself fascinated. He never particularly found himself attracted to women (hell, most frightened him), but something about this one...caught his interest. Von seemed to notice this, laughing as he shook his shoulder.

“Wait a minute! You were checking her out! You were checking a LADY out! Holy SHIT!”

“I...was not. I’m gay, what reasoning would I-”

“Maybe you’re bi, Sooga, don’t rule it out!”

Cil threw a napkin at his face, scowling.

“You’re going to suggest he cheat on Master Kohga? Have you no shame?”

“Isn’t Kohga CONSTANTLY fucking someone? Like no slut shaming, but didn’t he JUST fuck Daruk like two weeks ago? If anything, you’re selfish for NOT trying this out.”

Sooga and Cil turned to look at him, but struggling to follow his logic. Von reached over to steal someone’s drink, helping himself before he explained.

“You’re telling me Kohga WOULDN’T want you to explore and find out what you like? If we told him you were acting like a prude again, he’d have ALL of our asses for not doing as he told.”

Von wasn’t very smart, but even Cil and Sooga had to admit; he had a point. Cil sighed.

“I hate to agree with him, since he’s about as smart as a rock under a lake, but the worst you can do is give it a shot. If you don’t like it, oh well, Kohga would surely love a story.”

Sooga never thought about something like this. He had dated a woman back in his teen years, but now? Not really on his mind. But, Kohga always DID implore him to explore, so he nodded.

“Alright, I’ll give it my best shot. Just one question. How the hell do you talk to women?”

Von smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. Right, these two were gay, and he was pan, course they didn’t know shit about girls.

“Look, I’ll do all the talking for you. I got you covered.”

Just then, the vai walked in. Drinks on a tray, as well as an oily plate of fried eggs on rice. Cil helped himself to his drink and to his bowl, while Von wrapped his hand around her hip.

“Listen, vai, my friend here, thinks you’re super cute. How strong of a chance does he got?”

Sooga threw his hands up in the air.

“Really. THAT’S you ‘getting me covered’?”

“Hey, women like it when you’re honest. So, how about it?”

The woman scanned him up and down, and Sooga was ready for rejection. Only, it didn’t happen. She grabbed a hold of his face, and pressed her lips against his. Even through the fabric of the veil, he could tell she had soft, eager lips. She pulled away after a minute, before using her head to motion him into following her. Von held a big smirk on his face, as if he had accomplished something.

“See! Full proof! now GO!”

Sooga was on his feet before he could understand what was happening. He caught up to her, holding her hand as she guided him to a back room. Sooga peeked into every room, curious. Each room was covered in a thin curtain, not only giving a slight view, but doing nothing to handle the sound. It let him hear all types of moans and cries from men alike. She let go of his hand, motioning for him to stay put, before slipping off into a room. Sooga, bored and curious, peeked into one of the rooms, where the curtain was fully parted. He got to see a Zora absolutely PLOWING into the aft of a Gerudo woman. He had a rather nice...pace. Not that Sooga was noticing.

“That’s it, you can handle one more for me, can’t you?”

The poor woman couldn’t say anything past her pillow. The Zora looked up from her, to him. He was about to apologize, when he watched the fishman cum, right into him, all while making eye contact with Sooga. He chuckled after, giving Sooga a big flash of teeth.

“You like watching, eh big guy? Come in, I’ll give you a better view.”

Sooga was pulled away before he could even think of accepting the offer. He was suddenly thrown onto a nice, soft bed. She closed the curtain behind them, letting just a bit of light poke into the room, but not enough to see important details of her figure. She crawled into the bed, crawling over him. He was about to speak, when she dove into his neck, dragging her lips against his neck. Sooga sat there with his hands in the air, uncertain of what to do. That is, until she grabbed his hands, and put them right on her ass. He took the hint, and did the same thing for her as he did for Kohga. He gripped tightly onto her cute little ass, and she moaned against his skin. 

That sounded so,,,familiar to him, in a way. He was about to ask for her name, when he felt her start to pull off his clothes. He sat up, helping her take off his shirt. Her hands wandered his body hungrily, and he couldn’t help but feel rather flattered by such a hungry touch. He was about to reach for her clothes, before she started to scoot down, pulling down his pants, just enough to reveal his semi hard cock. The hunger in her eyes was immense, and it only added to his arousal. He watched as the veil lightly parted, and she stuffed his head in his mouth. He tensed up a bit, uncertain of what to make out of a foreign mouth on his cock.

“You’ve...done this before, I take it?”

Her eyes looked slightly amused as she continued, slowly bobbing her head up and down on his girth. She was talented at this, what with how her tongue roamed, and her how her hands massaged and rubbed at his balls. He didn’t expect it to feel good. But it really, really did. A stranger sitting there, sucking him off, all while he heard others get off in rooms right next to him. He combed his fingers through his hair, slowly pushing his cock in her pretty little mouth. He got greedy, digging his fingers into her hair, and forcing her to take more. She didn’t mind in the slightest, slobbering all over his cock as it moved back and forth into her warm mouth.

“You like this, don’t you? Satisfied by a stranger’s cock? Didn’t know vai were filthy little creatures.”

At first he thought it was rude, but he saw her eyes. Hazy, lost in the realm of lust. She liked this. He was sitting here, pleasing her mouth with his own eager cock. Then suddenly, she pulled away. He sat there, wet with drool and hard, thinking he was suddenly unwelcomed, when he saw her pull off her pants. She even went so far as to peel off her panties, throwing it in his face. It kept him distracted, at least long enough for her to push her ass against his cock. He was going to tell her to stop, a bit worried about how a woman’s insides would feel, but he acted too slowly. She sank herself onto him, moaning loudly as his cock pushed inside of her. He hissed at the feeling, mainly because such a tiny body felt so tight around his cock.

“S-shit. Don’t...move so fast. Easy does-”

But this vai didn’t like listening. She held onto his thighs, and started to ride him far too quickly. He was ashamed to admit he liked it. Ashamed to admit he liked it enough to hold onto her little hips, helping her ride his cock. Her jewelry jangled as she rode him, and her little lips kept giving him such horny, needy moans. Though the sound...was odd to him. He swore he heard those breathy sighs before, but from where? He didn’t feel like asking though. Not when such a cute little ass was taking him for all he was worth. Granted he preferred absolute dumpers like Kohga’s, but this one was definitely on the cuter end. So cute, he couldn’t help but smack it. She seemed to love it, and like a horse, seemed to go only faster on him. It felt so good, fucking such a cute thing like this. He was going to cum. He was about to pull himself out, but it was too late. He came, pulling her right to his chest, and stuffing her. She mewled and whimpered, even as he pressed his lips against hers to try to silence her. He tore away from her, and saw her eyes, lost in arousal, with mouth open and drooling behind the cloth around her mouth.

“You really do enjoy the touch of another man, don’t you?”

She nodded meekly as his hand wrapped around her pretty throat. He had no idea why, but something in him didn’t want to be gentle to her. He wanted to be rough with her, wanted her to be bruised and stuffed with his semen.

“You could handle a bit more, couldn’t you little vai?”

She nodded, helpless as his grip on her throat only made better.

“I thought so. Lay down for me, right on your stomach. I’m going to show you what a man can do.”

And for the rest of the night, that was EXACTLY what he did.

----------------------------------

“Wait. You..and a WOMAN?!”

“P-please don’t be mad...”

Sooga didn’t want to tell Kohga, but he could NOT keep a secret from his master. They were all currently waiting for Zelda and Link (She requested they escort them to some ruins in the desert), and he found now was as good of a time as any. He waited for the backlash, only to hear Kohga laugh.

“Well how about THAT! You like WOMEN now?”

“I’m...not sure. I know I enjoyed it, and I know I was attracted to her, but other women...make me uneasy.”

“Hey, maybe you just have a certain type. Either way, I’m not mad.”

“You’re...not?”

“Course not! You’re getting to know yourself! I can’t say I like women like that at all, but hey, if you do, I support ya in finding out.”

Sooga couldn’t help but smile. Kohga had been helping him discover a lot about himself, and he continued to surprise him.

“I...thank you, Master Kohga. That means very, very much to me.”

“Eh don’t sweat it big guy. Now look alive, we got company!”

Sooga was about to greet their guests, when he saw Link come into view. Hair of wheat, black cloth, and blue, cold eyes. He froze like stone, and Kohga noticed.

“What’s up with you?”

“I...I just now realized-I’m pretty damn sure I’m still gay.”

“The hell you-”

Kohga knew that look. The look of regret, some shame, with even a pinch of arousal. Kohga threw his hands in the air, completely ignoring his guest’s puzzled gazes.

“SOOGA YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!”

Sooga only had one thing to say. He looked down and Link, and without much regard for manners, spoke.

“Fuck you, Link.”

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

OOH can we see how Kohga would react to Mipha asking for relationship advice? Since she’d see how devoted and passionate Sooga is for his Master, and not really anyone else in their group is in a relationship soooo

I’m just obsessed with him just adoring Mipha and trying his ass off to get her and Link together it’s so cute

One, thank you for recognizing the fact that Kohga playing Mipha’s wingman is possibly the best idea I’ve EVER had. Two, I am SO ready to start this absolute soft shit. Smut is fun and all, but come on, Kohga trying to hook bitches up is amazing. And third, this got waay out of hand, so enjoy some double dates here.

“So, did you get me something?”

Sooga hardly left Master Kohga’s side. Whenever he had to, be it to lend a hand elsewhere; he had TWO rules to follow; come home to him at the end of the day, and bring him something. Kohga had been sitting here, having tea with Mipha, while Sooga offered to help Sidon hunt for sneaky river snails (Sooga had a real knack for knowing where to find them). They came back with quite the haul, so the fact that he managed to get anything else was nothing to scoff at. He put the large bag of fish down on the floor, and from his pockets, produced a small cage. Inside the cage was what appeared to be a winterwing butterfly. Kohga clapped his hands together, clearly loving it.

“Ooh, I’ve been looking for one of these!”

“I know. It was why I had to stop in the middle of fishing to catch it for you. I may have let Sidon fall in the water in my haste. Maybe.”

Mipha cocked her head to the side upon seeing his reaction to the small bug.

“You like bugs?”

“Just the butterflies. I only keep them for a day or two before I let them go, I just think they’re neat.”

Kohga took a hold of Sooga’s chin, grinning from ear to ear.

“And SOMEONE seemed to remember me saying I wanted this specific one. You’re such a sap, Sooga.”

Sooga was trying (and failing) not to smile.

“I listen to EVERY word you say, master Kohga.”

“Ugh, you’re being mushy again. Get outta my face, go help shark boy with the fish.”

Kohga tried to look mean as he gently pushed his face away, but it was plainly obvious; Kohga loved him. Sooga pardoned himself, hoisted the bag over his shoulder, and walked off with Sidon. Mipha took a sip of her tea, watching as Kohga lightly shook his head. She knew it was a bad emotion to feel, but she couldn’t resist feeling a bit jealous. They were so happy with one another, and yet, her own love and affections were clearly not recognized by the one boy she loved, more than anything. Perhaps…

“Kohga? Can I ask something?”

“Whatever you want.”

Kohga stopped ogling his boyfriend for a second and gave her his attention, snacking on the cookies she made, just for him (shaped in just the cutest seashells). She squirmed a bit in her seat, unsure of how to go about it, before she finally came out with it.

“How...did you get someone to love you, the way Sooga does?”

Kohga stopped eating for a second, looking at her sullen face. This little fish was just sweeter than banana bread, and it hurt poor ol’ Kohga to see her love so much, without Goldilocks even talking about it with her. Sure they were young, and they had forever to talk about this stuff, but there was no time like the present.

“Sooga is a fucking idiot, for one, and I attract idiots. Second, you kinda just. Come out with it. We started off as friends before anything, and that’s now all relationships start. Course, your case is a BIT different from mine. You want my honest opinion? Just shoot your shot. I mean, worst he’s gonna say is no. Or nothing with his mute ass…”

Kohga mumbled that last part, helping himself to another sip of tea. Realizing it didn’t seem to be very helpful, he sighed.

“Or, you could cook him something. Call me old fashioned, but my mama always said the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I make mean salmon skin, look at the hunk I bagged.”

They both turned to look at Sooga, who was busy de shelling the fish alongside Sidon. Mipha pursed her little lips, before softly nodding.

“I...suppose that isn’t a bad idea at all. If I can find the courage in my heart to ask him.”

Just then, Kohga noticed Link walking alongside the princess. Small land, honestly. Kohga put his hands to the side of his face, crying out to Link.

“Yo Goldilocks! Mipha’s cookin’ tonight, you want in?!”

Link nodded, giving a thumbs up. Kohga shrugged.

“See? Easy. You just gotta be straightforward with boys.”

Mipha held her face in her hands, obviously embarrassed.

“But what do I do WHEN I make him something?! What do I say? What do I talk about with him?”

Kohga loved Mipha, really he did, but girl needed to stop seeing boys as a lynel, and more along the lines of wild horses. Something to tame, not to fear. He sighed.

“Tell you what. Me and Sooga will join you, sorta like a double date kinda deal. I’ll be there if the date goes bad, and we can dip when the date is going GOOD.”

Mipha looked up from the table with just the softest eyes you’ve ever seen.

“You...would do that, for me?”

“Course, lil red! You’re like, my favorite in the little team of goody two shoes. Plus, free eats, can’t complain-”

She suddenly got out of her seat, and nearly pounced on him for a hug. The things he did for love.

--------------------------------------------

“He here yet?”

“Not quite, but I’m just about done!”

Kohga came back a while later, alongside Sooga. Kohga had his own men helping her in the kitchen, setting up the dining room, everything she could need, Kohga helped with. Kohga scoffed as he put his gift on the dining room table (he’d be remiss if he didn’t bring something to drink for the occasion), lightly pulling up one of her fins, and scoffing.

“Okay, let the boys finish up. Sooga, get to work on this girl, she needs to focus on being as pretty as a fresh stack of banana pancakes.”

Sooga nodded, prompting Mipha to follow him to her bedroom. Kohga was about to see just what she was cooking, before the main doors flew open. Link. Aka, Goldilocks, aka, the guy that never fucking knocked. He was wearing the classic gerudo outfit. A real tits out look, and honestly Kohga would jump on that in a heartbeat.

“Goldilocks! Bit early! How you doing? Mipha will be ready in just a second, take a seat, lemme get you a drink!”

Link nodded. Kohga chatted him up for a minute, serving him a nice glass of banana wine (it’s actually VERY good). When he caught the eyes of Sooga, he pardoned himself and dipped into the hallway. He took one gander at Mipha, and gave a whistle.

“Girl look at YOU! Lookin’ prettier than a pack of opals!”

She really did look like a beauty. Freshly touched lipstick, sharpened nails, her silver jewelry replaced with gold, and instead of her usual blue sash, Sooga somehow managed to find time to make a blue, see through looking dress for her. It fit around her body snugly, but it was a loose, comfortable material, perfect for fashion, and function. Sooga was so talented, getting that together so quickly. Kohga nodded towards Link.

“Go keep him busy, gotta give this girl a pep talk.”

Sooga nodded. Once he left, Kohga carefully put his hands on her shoulders.

“Look at me. Lookin? Okay good. You like this guy, so be you. BUT, you need to let him know you’re interested. Be flirty. Touch his hands, compliment him, fucking, feed him from your plate- make it obvious. You’re a princess. He’s a knight, it’s GONNA happen.”

She nodded firmly, shoulder’s straight as a Lynel’s. 

“I can do this!”

She peered over at Link, and immediately hid behind a wall again.

“I can’t do this! He’s wearing the voe armor!”

“For the love of…”

Kohga sighed. Why did he love all these shy bitches?

“Mipha. You’re gonna make HIM drool, not the other way around. Come on, you’ve got this. I’ll be right here, I’ll make you look good as hell. On three. One. Two. Three!”

He carefully pushed her towards the dining room, and Mipha looked ready to have a heart attack. Poor thing.

“Link! It’s so nice to have you over! I hope my invitation wasn’t sudden!”

Link shook his head. Kohga, sensing things were still awkward, jumped in. He was always the fun one at parties.

“Hey, you know what, we should totally start eating! I heard Mipha made quite the spread, Sooga why don’t you help bring the stuff out?”

Sooga nodded, heading into the kitchen. Kohga gestured for all of them to take a seat (with Mipha sitting right next to Link of course), and him just a bit away from them. Close enough to be supportive, but just far enough to beat it if he was cramping their style. Soon enough, trays of food were brought in, and even Kohga had to admit, he was starved.

“Master Kohga?”

“Yes, Sooga?”

“I’m sorry.”

He was about to ask what for, but then he saw it. Fish dish. Fish dish, not a single dish WASN’T fish. And he couldn’t just NOT eat her food, less he make Mipha’s food look awful. Kohga gulped, and Mipha seemed to catch onto his distress.

“Oh Kohga, I’m so sorry, I forgot you didn’t like fish! Please, let me make you-”

“Nope!”

Kohga could feel his ass sweating. He was really gonna sit here and eat fish, because Mipha deserved it. Link looked over at him, clearly just as confused as anyone else. Kohga forced himself to chuckle.

“I mean...I HATE clam chowder. A lot. It’s gross, it’s squishy, it smells AWFUL. Unless it’s Mipha’s. I LOVE Mipha’s clam chowder! She is just. SUCH  a good cook, I could eat a whole bowl!”

Link looked him right in his face, grabbed a bowl, and filled it completely with clam chowder. He slid the bowl over to him, and Kohga wanted to throw up. That yucky, smelly smell of fish. 

“Son of a bitch..I mean, yum! Thank you, Link.”

Mipha just had to like this blonde asshole. Sooga made a motion to grab the bowl, but Kohga halted him. He was going to do this for Mipha. He took a taste of it, and he fought every urge not to puke. Dear god, the smell and the taste was awful. But he forced himself to swallow, smiling.

“See? I l-like it! So it’s GOTTA be good! Mipha is just, so talented!”

Link seemed satisfied, helping himself to a bowl. Mipha looked at Kohga, clearly worried, but he shook his head. 

“Make it up to me by getting some, Mipha.”

He muttered underneath his breath, forcing himself to eat more. Sooga had no problems, this asshole, eating fish like it was nothing. Mipha pretended like she didn’t know anything was wrong, giving her attention towards Link.

“So, Link! You’ve been over at the Gerudo desert, I take it. Urbosa is doing well, I trust?”

Kohga didn’t pay attention to the one sided conversation, too focused on handling the thick creamy broth. His stomach churned, his head hurt, and he was just. Dying. Not even Sooga could help him. He was going to bail, but he saw it in Mipha’s eyes. She was getting more nervous, and this was JUST from watching Link eat. Oh god this was a mess. He forced himself to think past the creamy mush still left in his bowl.

“So, Link, what do you think of Mipha’s new look? Nice right?”

Link looked her up and down, before giving Mipha a thumbs up. Her cheeks exploded in color, and she looked ready to just melt. Kohga tried not to gag at the fish burp he just had.

“And Mipha, thoughts on Link’s outfit?”

Mipha hesitated, letting herself get a look at him, totally not looking at that titty (atta girl), before softly nodding.

“You had it dyed white, it looks very...nice, Link. It really goes with your golden hair.”

Distracted by her thoughts, she played with a strand of his hair, before suddenly realizing what she was doing. They both looked away, buried in blush, just two, dumb, flirty messes. Oh his girl was KILLING IT. Kohga forced himself to gulp down his bowl (somehow not choking on the chunks), nearly gasping as he finished. Oh that was a mistake. That did NOT feel right. Didn’t matter, Mipha was GETTING somewhere with this guy. He whispered to her, nudging at her side.

“Offer him some of your food.”

“But? He has the same thing in-”

“Say yours is different. Just do it, trust me. Sooga! With me, kitchen, now.”

They dipped into the kitchen, and Sooga immediately handed him a bucket. Just in time for Kohga to purge his guts. Sooga patted his back, sighing.

“No one told you to finish the bowl, Kohga.”

“I am SUPPORTIVE, dammit! She deserves-”

Yet another purge of his guts. He groaned, relying heavily on Sooga to keep him upright.

“If it makes you feel better, I’m VERY proud of you. Going through so much for the sake of her happiness. You’re a wonderful person.”

“Sooga, that’s sweet, but dear god I’m throwing up here, shut the fuck up.”

Kohga was three for three, and he was wondering if it was worth it. Then he peered into the dining room. Mipha was spoon feeding him from her bowl, going so far as to scold him for his messy face, and cleaning it with a cloth napkin. It was adorable, it was sweet, and dear god was this worth it. Sooga chuckled, peering down at Kohga.

“You’re incredible, Master Kohga, letting her have this.”

“I AM pretty great, aren’t I?”

They sat there, watching them. For a moment, for a brief, sweet moment, she wasn’t shy. She was honest with herself, she was even just a bit flirty. And Link looked as if he wasn’t clueless. It was so goddamn sweet, it was worth every second of stomach pain. Kinda.

“Oh it’s coming again- he better marry this girl, or I’m starting the war all the fuck over again.”

He was complaining, sure. But he was really, honestly proud of his little Mipha. He’d do this again and again, if it meant getting to see such a sweet, happy smile.

He just prayed he didn’t have to.