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The only way to get that pizza cut.

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(Please do not take the following seriously, it is written in the spirit of the poll)

I hate to say it, but Alfred.

Of those listed here, he's probably the most indoctrinated when it comes to the purity and usage of Blood, and his idea of purging is a two-pronged fork; he purges the beasts as a Hunter, and purges the Vilebloods as an Executioner. There must be only purity, a sentiment that would probably cause even Workshop hunters to face adversity (the Powder Kegs just wanted to have fun with big weapons, leave those sillies be). And I really hate saying this, but his overall appearance and facial structure reminds me of the so-called "Theobros," a bunch of bearded Christofascists.

And I'm not saying Logarius, because that decrepit husk would probably turn to dust trying to turn on a computer, let alone record a podcast. He would be a guest star on Alfred's, though.

Here's a horrible poll idea for you: Which Bloodborne Character is Most Likely to Start a Podcast?

You know... THOSE podcasts.

HOLY FUCK AKDJHFJDKWJDJ

I'm sure this is bound to cause some genuine discourse so as usual, please don't take this seriously, voters! And as usual I'd love to hear your reasonings in the tags. It's time for character slander lol

No female characters are listed because they would NEVER. Maybe Adella would be a featured guest on one of them to talk about how women should not have autonomy rights 😭😭😭😭😭 TRAITOR

My personal (non serious) reasonings and propaganda below:

Alfred - He is one of the most alt-right characters to be tbh. Like he acts like one of those "Jesus loves all unless you're [insert minority here]! Which is pretty much his attitude towards Vilebloods. Like his whole thing is to kill the last woman of her bloodline that's absolutely some podcast material. He's my personal pick.

Brador - While he is also a Healing Church bootlicker like Alfred, he doesn't seem to uphold its actual values but still supports the status quo of power and control. I feel like he's more suited to being a 4chan troll than a podcaster, who still goes to kink pride parades in full support for his fellow leather bears. He's a walking contradiction lol

Djura - it's literally just the guns. That is the only right winged thing about him is the push for less gun control. Other than that he is extremely punk and anti government. Maybe his love for firearms would be enough to do a podcast entirely about it?

Edgar - He just. Has the vibes. Of someone who would go "Erm statistically! [Insert a completely biased statistics about a minority that puts them in a bad light]" Also he has SUCH a punchable face I'm sorry lol

Henryk - I needed another option to fill the poll so here he is.

Gehrman - I'm not saying it lol

Laurence - He is literally the founder of the Healing Church. You tell me.

Martyr Logarius - He's Alfred's big oppression daddy of course he would. He lead the Executioners to do that to the Vilebloods, and if they existed in modern times, they'd have some VERY questionable tattoos.

Micolash - He likes to start discourse for the fun of it. Also *checks what he did in Yahar'gul* JESUS CHRIST

Simon - I don't think he's racist or misogynistic but the way he talks... His inflection... He'd be a popular podcaster if he didn't talk about tearing down the status quo of the Healing Church lol

Valtr - Honestly I don't need to explain why he's here considering how passionate he is about "killing all vermin" and that he's literally a cop (constable). He's my second pick for the poll lol.

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rb to power up your blog

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elf yuri except one of them is high fantasy and the other is one of santa's

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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

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This right on the heels of the habanero in the eyes, too. May we have but one moment of respite of this life of suffering?

I busted my foot so bad its purple

But i have a date tn

So lets hope its not too bad but it huuurts rn

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my sister asked me to draw her a spider playing the piano. so yeah, look at this distinguished gentleman

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*siren like the unholy wailing of the devil's fire truck fills the world* Wait, what? *on a Tuesday* Oh, it's just 10 AM.

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I love that the two genres of 'miku from my culture' posts are 'beautiful intricate traditional clothing' and 'what if miku was a regular at the gas station by my house'

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CHICAGOAN HATSUNE MIKU. Specifically the winter version <3. (alt text provided! :3)

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Would you rather...

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So this is what Alan was doing in the Dark Place for thirteen years

i think you guys liked my guitar hero video so

here's alan wake, dante dmc5, nero dmc4, and max payne playing play that funky music by wild cherry

[mods linked this time]

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Wenjie agreeing to lobotomize Charlie because she wanted to see what would happen while being completely unqualified to perform the procedure, Colt trying to guess the passwords for the aircraft in Updaam, the little song Aleksis sings to himself at the party, the Eternalist singing about the battery, nearly every piece of dialogue with Two-Bit

people who haven't played deathloop are missing out on literally some of the funniest dialogue ever conceived. giving an "i am evil" speech where you get dropped into a meat grinder if the audience doesn't like it, and the tack you go for is "i'll smoke anywhere, man"

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Think I'm going to start sobbing incoherently and eating my controller piece by piece to get through the Sifu Arenas, because nothing else is fucking working. It's rare that post-launch content for a game makes me enjoy it less, but it happens.

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Hello 🖐

I am Fatima, live in northern Gaza with five children. We live under the shadow of war, moving between shelters in search of safety from the destructive shells and explosions . My children feel scared, and I do my best to be their strong support . I dream of a day when peace arrives, where my children live safely and securely away from danger 😥.

I need your support to protect my family and provide a safe shelter for them

https://gofund.me/a5b6d4ae

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out. I would be honored to help spread awareness for your campaign.

[snosassassin]

poll idea from the maria child support post-

who is the LEAST likely to pay child support? >.>

thank you for your amazing and funny posts as always lmfao

HELLO????)????????? (also ty anon!!!)

Left out the obvious characters who would absolutely pay it like Djura, who won't just pay child support, but actively play a role in their lives as well. And Gascoigne because uh. He's already a dad lol. Eileen as well.