#horse-racing

[rotary-supercollider]

Tumblr horse race!

Before the race starts, let’s run down the racer’s profiles.

(Note: horses 2, Mamba, and 3, Crap, have been removed from the race, for poor health and DUI charges, respectively.)

Horse 1, Paul Revere, is right here, and if the weather’s clear, sure thing. He’s the ghost of the horse that won last year.

Horse 4, Taboo, [DATA LOST]

Horse 5, Big Louise, is said to be the largest horse ever entered in our competition. Her secret? Instead of never skipping leg day, her routine is exclusively leg day!**

Horse 6, Serious Stanley, shot the previous 2 announcers for trying to make a joke about him, so I’m not going for it.

Horse 7, midnight revolver, smokes an entire pack of cigarettes at once before every race. We don’t know what their eyes look like, since behind their sunglasses is only another pair of sunglasses, stretching into a terrifying infinity.

Horse 8, *, wanted to be a chef growing up, but he couldn’t fit onto the guys head to Ratatouille him. He lives his dreams vicariously by pretending the racetrack is potatoes that need to be mashed.

Horse 9, Princess Peach, wields the Dark Lady’s Unspeakable Greatsword of Killing, retrieved from the Wastes of Dal’iaa. He also enjoys gardening.

Horse 10, Rosencrantz and Gildenstern Go To White Castle, claims to have escaped a secret facility where he was forced to fight an army of mantis-men. We’re not sure if that’s true, but he’s got six good legs, so that’s something.

Horse 11, Declan’s royal Jack of Spades, is former prime minister of England Boris Johnson, who made an ill-advised pact with the fey and will be trapped in this form forever unless he wins this race.

Horse 12, Dr. Capaldi, is hurnnjj glabuuu Alena shave fUsft she’d sfDr fesog dir Signs einriebest signse Sofnsbholdn. Isn’t that neat?

The announcer will chime in with commentary on who’s winning the race every 24 hours. The race’s winner will receive a lifetime supply of salmon and ownership of Dal’iaa’s Maw, an eternal storm and the only place the Dark Lady’s Unspeakable Greatsword of Killing can be unmade.

**(Drawing fanart of any of the participant horses without the express written consent of the THRL is a violation of copyright law. We understand that the community of Tumblr is composed of understanding, law-abiding citizens and that this will not be an issue.)

*Face-off, starring Nicolas Cage and Kevin Bacon

[aikaikaik]

THE TUMBLR HORSE DERBY

WELCOME TO THE FIRST TUMBLR HORSE DERBY (that i know of, anyway)

HOW TO HORSE: 🐎🐎🐎 - Vote for your FAVOURITE horse to make them go faster! (yknow, like those carnival horse derby games!) MAY THE BEST HORSE WIN

(also sample size reblog yadda yadda yadda HORSE)

[bettornot]

Timeform 5* selections for 8th June 2024

Timeform is a respected and well followed source of racing form and they rate each horse for each race by using a star rating. You may have read my post on using this rating system to pick your horses for the ITV 7 well what if you were to back each 5 star rated horse in every race for a day.Below is a PDF of the 5 star Runners for 8th June 2024 and how they faired. The figures are based upon the…

[fishing-lesbian-catgirl]

If a girl is covered in freckles that means that you should kiss every single one

[theabigailthorn]

Ya Girl Went to the Emmys

I had a fun time, it was nice to meet cool people and shake their hands and serve a mother slay, etc - AND it was very cool that my cousin Will won for Slow Horses, so proud - BUT

as fun as it was, I know when the chips are down none of the people I met last night (except Dave) are gonna be there for me. They don't know me, even the ones who recognised me and said they follow my work, and that's okay! The people who are really gonna be there for me are my audience. Some of you have been watching since the bookshelf days and even earlier. Now I'm on the red carpet at the Emmys and that's cool, but I know who put me here. You. Especially you, tumblr fanbase. (Best fanbase.)

So here's to many more glitzy events and slay fits, but I hope I always remember where I started and who got me where I am today

<3

[despazito]

honestly hate how everyone just throws around the word porn addict now the moment you defend something nsfw having a right to exist. deeply mormon behaviour from ppl who label themselves queer

[jingle-jangle-spurs]

Robert House watching The Courier rip all the copper wiring out the walls of the Lucky 38

[johnnyspells]

[fashion4standusers]

Lil Nas X in custom Coach tour outfits

[copypastus]

@officialrhysandweek Day 7 - Free Day

Following @praetorqueenreyna's vision I redrew some romantic comedy posters with a Rhysta flavor.

Happy Rhysand Week!

[120daysofsodomm]

[sennamaticart]

Artfight attack for ~Dio of Aman!

[johntorrington]

thinking about this book i found on archive.org that’s a kid’s book from the perspective of one of the ponies on the terra nova expedition. the ponies that sucked and were sickly and got shot and eaten. those ponies. never before have i been so mad a book wasn’t available to borrow i need to read this so badly.

[bettornot]

Hugh Taylor - Dont be in a Rush To Back His Selections 5th June

Further to my post on Bookies and Tipsters I will be following Hugh Taylors Tips and Backing each one for a £5.00 Profit with SkyBet. Not at the advised odds but at whatever odds are available at the time but because Skybet like to pay out on extra places and offer few races with Best Odds Guaranteed I will be backing them at SP with a stake that will give a £5.00 profit at the odds given at the…

[backmarkerr]

Sebastian Vettel watches on from the Ferrari garage as Michael Schumacher spins out at the 2003 European GP

[sarcasticscribbles]

Here are my Elias Bouchard headcanons