#horse mounted police

[kropotkindersurprise]

September 11, 2024 - Anti-war activists disrupted an international arms fair in Naarm (Melbourne), Australia. Twenty cops were reported injured in the clashes. [video]

[starryvelvet-art]

☆Eng: Mounted police!AU

First I drew it with a gel pen, then I painted it in Krita.

☆Рус: Конная полиция!AU.

Сначала нарисовала лайн гелевой ручкой и отсканировала, а потом покрасила в Krita.

[sspacegodd]

NOW THAT'S JUST GOOD POLICE WORK

Thrusting and cutting through the warm afternoon like Ornette Coleman's cheese slicer, came the loud abstract bray of a saxophone.

A sturdy young lady in army boots with a huge snake coiled around her shoulders experimentally saxity-yakkety-yakked into the clear downtown air.

But making too much noise is against the law. Many street musicians have been told to turn down their amp.

She never needed an amp. Like Ella Fitzgerald, she can hit a note that will shatter a paradigm.

Suddenly, the birds stopped singing, insects fell silent, buses ground to a halt, and even the beep beep beep of the backhoes backing up stopped as the entire city grew silent.

Clip clop, clip clop, clip cop.

Every head turned.

People backed away and some went for cover, pulling their kids with them, slamming shutters closed. Two mounted cops rode into view. The crowds parted as the two policemen sternly rode their steeds up to the curb from where the triangulated squawks originated.

The older officer steered his horse straight to where Joanne was standing and then RODE ONTO THE SIDEWALK to confront her.

The air grew still and the world watched and waited. All eyes were on the looming confrontation.

The cop reached down from his high horse with a black-gloved hand..........

..........and dropped a couple bucks into the tip jar.

The crowd erupted into applause.

Birds began to sing again.

[dopescissorscashwagon]

Meet Noble: a gift from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to King Charles III. The seven year-old mare - who stands at 16.2 hands high - is currently settling into life at The Royal Mews in Windsor, 2023.

[actaecon]

8 legged Horse Cop London

[smokedbeans]

Lol just remembered yesterday’s events and I’m absolutely devastated

Just came across an Instagram post with photos and videos of it, and knowing that he was there is making me feel so sick I actually don’t know how to cope with this one

[susiecards]

3 of diamonds

[chaddavisphotography]

Mounted Patrol in downtown Minneapolis during a Minnesota Timberwolves Western Conference Finals playoff game.

[lesbians-all-the-way-down]

I know I hate all cops but I failed to think about Kidda wearing a Mountie uniform 😭

[furtherfurther]

GNR Mounted Police Band, Cascais

[srfadoption]

Come One Come All!!! To SRF's Holiday At The Farm!

[cityzenchick]

Police horse named after Manchester City's Pep Guardiola | Hexham Courant

This is SO cool! 👍A police horse called Pep 😁 ridden by a lifelong City supporter 💙 ⚽️ just a shame it's not with the Manchester force 😍 I'd love to see a pic of Pep riding Pep!! 🤣

[incognit0slut]

COWBOY SPENCE! COWBOY SPENCE! WE WANT COWBOY SPENCE!

Fluff. Kind of a continuation to this but not really. 1.3k. Also thank you anon for bringing back my cowboy spence agenda.

Spencer gives you a ride on his horse to watch the sunset.

-

"You're not supposed to be here," he said the moment he saw you enter the stable. And he was right, visiting his ranch on a random Tuesday evening was the last thing you should be doing.

Emily had sent you to interview someone tied to the case, and you managed to gather more information about the Unsub, which you shared with her over the phone. But on your way back to the police station, you realized Spencer's ranch was just a half-hour drive away from town. So you turned the steering wheel, hoping your boss wouldn't notice your impulsive detour.

"Well, you're supposed to reply to my text," you shot back, the sound of your boots echoing on the ground.

He offered a sheepish smile. "Sorry about that, I got caught up today, haven’t had the chance to check my phone."​

"I guess some things never change," you remarked as you approached him standing inside the horse arena, hopping up onto the fence. "Give me a kiss."

Spencer chuckled softly, gently patting Mildred's mane as he stepped around her, the beautiful white horse who seemed to acknowledge your presence with a subtle bow of her head. As he reached your side, he leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to your lips, his touch sending a rush of warmth through you.

This was exactly why you had wanted to see him. The absence of his presence had left a void you hadn't realized until now and you groaned when he gently pulled away. His touch lingered as he brushed a stray strand of hair away from your face, his concern evident in his voice.

"Aren't you going to get into trouble?"

"Maybe," you admitted with a playful shrug. "But some things are worth the risk, don't you think?"

"Emily wouldn't be too happy about that," he pointed out.

"She can do just fine without me for an hour or two," you countered before your attention shifted towards Mildred. "Hey, Millie!"

He laughed. "Millie? You've only met her once and you already have a nickname for her?"

You flashed him a grin. "Well, she just looks like a Millie to me," you said, reaching out to stroke Mildred's soft mane. The horse nuzzled against your hand affectionately, and you couldn't help but laugh.

"I think she likes her new name," he remarked. "Wanna take her out on a ride?"

Your eyes widened at the suggestion. "And break my back? I don't even know how to ride a horse."

"Come on, I'll ride with you," he insisted, leading Mildred towards the arena gate. With a quick hop, you jumped off the fence and caught up with him just as he stepped out of the gate, his horse following behind.

You hesitated for a moment, uncertainty flickering in your eyes as you looked up at him from beneath the brim of his cowboy hat. "I don't think this is a good idea."

He met your gaze with a reassuring smile, his arm outstretched towards you. "You'll be fine, you trust me, right?"

His confidence was infectious, and despite your doubt, you found yourself nodding.

"Alright, let's do this," you said, placing your hand in his as he helped you onto Mildred's back. "Don't let go of me!"

"I won't," he said with a chuckle, and your foot stepped onto the stirrup as he steadied Mildred. With a deep breath, you swung your other leg over, settling onto the saddle.

"You ready?" he asked, his voice filled with excitement. But before you could answer, he smoothly mounted himself up and settled behind you, his presence comforting as Mildred began to move beneath you both.

"Holy shit," you couldn't help but mutter, feeling extremely conscious of sitting so high up on a horse. "This feels weird."

He moved his arms securely around you as he held onto the reins. "You're doing great," he said soothingly, his voice close to your ear. "Just take it easy, you'll get used to it in no time."

His words filled you with warmth, and you couldn't help but lean back against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your touch. His arms around you gave a sense of security as Mildred carried you forward, and that was when you saw it, the vast expanse of his ranch unfolding before you.

The rolling hills, the sprawling fields, and the distant mountains dotted with trees and bathed in the warm glow of the setting sun painted a picturesque scene that took your breath away.

"Spencer Reid," you mused, your eyes tracing the landscape, watching a group of cattle running around at the side of the field. "You're rich rich."

He chuckled softly, his chest vibrating against your back. "I prefer to think of it as being fortunate."

"No wonder you don't want to work with us anymore."

"Honestly, there’s a part of me that doesn't want to leave all this behind," he admitted, his gaze fixed on the horizon. "But it's not just about the ranch. Being here reminds me of the simpler things in life, the BAU can be... overwhelming at times."

You understood his sentiment, "I get that," you said softly. “I'm just glad you seem happier now."

A soft smile tugged at the corners of Spencer's lips as one of his arms circled your waist. "Thank you," he murmured. "I'm actually happier with you here."

Your giggle danced through the air and his smile widened at the sound. With a gentle squeeze around your waist, he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "Look at the view."

You followed his gaze, looking out in front of you just as he urged Mildred to stop. As the horse came to a halt, you found yourself gazing out at the breathtaking scenery spread out before you.

The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm golden glow over the landscape, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink. The rolling hills and sprawling fields seemed to stretch on endlessly, while in the distance, the mountains stood tall against the horizon.

"It's beautiful," you whispered, the awe evident in your voice as you took in the stunning view.

Spencer's arm tightened around your waist as he leaned in. "Very beautiful.”

Your smile widened as you fished your phone out of your pocket to capture the moment, but as you faced the camera towards the scenery, the screen showed the front camera instead. You both burst out laughing, but then you took the opportunity to lean back against him and angle the camera right in front of you.

Spencer smiled as you cupped his cheek with your free hand, his stubble rough against your palm, before you snapped the moment. You then examined the result, admiring the way he was leaning close to you, his bright hazel eyes sparkling with warmth, with the soft lines of his smile at the corners of his eyes.

“I’m changing this into my wallpaper now.”

His grin widened as you showed him the picture.

"I like the sound of that," he said, his eyes lingering on the image with fondness. Just then, there was a sudden notification on your screen and you exchanged a quick glance with him before opening the message.

Boss Woman: You better not be visiting Reid

Boss Woman: Oh who am I kidding? Of course you are. Say hi to him for me

Boss Woman: But get your ass back to the station right now

His laughter echoed behind you. "It’s like she has a sixth sense."

"I haven’t even told her about us yet," you replied, shaking your head in amusement. "Let's head back before she sends out a search party."

With a nudge from him, he turned Mildred around and guided her on the way back to the ranch. And as the sun dipped lower in the sky, painting the landscape in a warm golden light, you knew that this was worth the trouble. You felt the gentle sway of the horse and you couldn't help but smile, placing a hand on the arm circling your waist.

You were definitely going to visit him again.

[garessta8]

Disco Elysium fun facts

0. There's an entire lore atlas (endless love to the author), although while it has at least some of those facts I list below, it mostly focuses on geography.

And yeah, SPOILER WARNING.

Jean Vicquemare's full name is Jean-Heron Vicquemare. It's literally only mentioned in one line of dialogue below. Esprit de Corps - With an agitated gait Satellite-Officer Jean-Heron Vicquemare paces the jetty, 22 kilometres East -- in Martinaise: "What could he *possibly* be doing there for so long," he says.

Jean was (is) an equestrian cop, as in, horse-mounted. However, I found no confirmation that he particularly liked horses as a hobby-thing. I think "we" in this line meant for "the pair of us", as police partners. Because there are lines in the game referring to other MCs in Precinct 41. But I have no space in this post to quote them. Jean Vicquemare - "For the record, you pressured us into getting it. 'It'll be cool Jean, we'll have wheels, rapid response...' I was fine being an equestrian cop. I hope you're fine driving a *bicycle*."

The actual name of Kim's dead partner, who was nicknamed "Eyes", was probably Dom or something that starts with Dom. At least this is name put on two cases in Kim's paperwork, which you can peek into if you come to Kim's room after the Tribunal without Kim. I assume that meant to happen if Kim was shot, but I theoretize that you could do that by going to sleep and then just going into the room, since Kim magically disappears after you dismiss him for the night and won't be in his room unless you knock on the outside door. Half-Finished Paperwork - This year, you can see references to: THE CHILD, DOM'S UNFINISHED; DOM'S UNFINISHED 2, MOTORCYCLE EMPTINESS, and THE MAN WITH THE HOLE IN HIS HEAD. UPD: "Dom" doesn't seem to be initials, because see Cuno (but then again, what does Cuno know about this? Maybe he SHOULD have read it as initials!): Cuno - The boy picks up the notes and shuffles through some of the case names: "'The Child', 'Dom's Unfinished', 'Dom's Unfinished 2', 'The Man With the Hole in His Head'... Boring ass shit," he concludes.

Homosexuality was legalized by communards in '04, which is 8 years before Kim was born. But we all known that society needs much longer to adapt to the thought. The exact details are hard to say. Encyclopedia at least says that there's no actual cults involved. The Deserter - "Lax sexual morals are a bourgeois ploy," he gargles a spit ball. "As to pederasty, the Party legalized it in '04. My Party, not your liberal masters." He spits it out on the dying coals. Encyclopedia - Just pointing it out, we're not talking about some kind of a cult with *members* here, you made it up.

Murder in Martinaise happened at March 4th, '51. Give or take a day. This, so far, is the least important piece of trivia I decided to add. You - "8. Date of death:" Kim Kitsuragi - "We're still going with March 4th, '51."

Motor carriages are controlled by two steering levers, not by a steering wheel. Not only you can see that if you close-up on Kim's Kineema, there are direct quotes about it. Abandoned Lorry - The glass on the side windows is tinted and covered with dust. You can barely make out the shape of a seat and two steering levers. Coupris Kineema - In the cabin you see a set of steering levers, a radio on a hook, a pull-out toolbox and the soft glow of the fuel pre-heater gauge.

I found where from people took "Volta do Mar" as Kim's personal skill. It's something printed on Kim's jacket you can buy as official DE merch.

At some point in his career, for unknown reasons, Kim worked in Processing for a year. They are as bad as he describes them. Kim Kitsuragi - He shakes his head. "I worked as one of these *Processing guys* for a year. They are butchers and clowns. I once saw twenty CODs go misidentified in one week. Chances are slim to none that they'll find anything useful in processing."

The mystery of Kim's glasses. There's one line that says they are "diamond-shaped" despite his portrait. I've seen a comment suggesting it refers to "diamat", as in, dialectic materialism. I think this feels more like a typo, but why would anyone think Kim's glasses are diamond-shaped when they were round from his earliest (and only) concept art? Kim Kitsuragi - The lieutenant says nothing. You see the machine's glowing frame reflected back from his diamond-shaped glasses. You're free to proceed. Truly a mystery. The case of DIAMOND-ROUND-SHAPED GLASSES will stay unsolved forever.

Kim *isn't* a moralist. Present tense. He *was* a moralist once, but since then, he changed his mind. Now he believes in RCM. He embodies the political stance of "all ideologies suck in their own ways, let's just live our lives here and try do to a good job" (which I *heartily* approve). Although some will say that *this* is moralist by itself. Kim Kitsuragi - "Yes. I *did* -- when I was younger. In my twenties I considered myself a moralist. *A blue forget-me-not, a piece of the sky*," he quotes. "They're not all that bad." Kim Kitsuragi - "But the years have changed that. I don't know *what* I believe in now...." He thinks, then changes his mind. "No. I believe in the RCM. That's enough for me."

Harry always wakes up at 7:30. He made a vow. Volition - You got up from this floor because of a holy vow you made sixteen years ago. With *me*. To wake up exactly 07:30 every morning until the day you die. Notably, the morning right after the memory loss is an exception, where Harry only wakes up because of the Kineema. I have a suspicion that if Kim didn't drive to the Whrling-in-Rags, Harry could've never woke up. Never-ever-ever.

The standard role-playing dice in Elysium is a 24-side die. There's a side for each skill! You - "What's a *standard* role-playing die?" Novelty Dicemaker - "It's an *icositetrahedron* -- a 24-sided die that can produce results for a 2-sided, 3-sided, 4-sided, 6-sided, and 12-sided die with a single roll. Technically you can also use it for many other sizes, but you may need to re-roll results."

Trant was formerly addicted to pyrholidon. I think it's implied that his practice of stick fighting, which he does for 4 hours daily for 20 years straight, is a replacement for said addiction. Trant Heidelstam - "Lo Manthang stick fighting is a little like a pyrholidon addiction," he explains with a little smile. "I've been practising it for nearly 20 years now, so you could say that my doses have grown a little… peculiar." Electrochemistry - Wait. What does this man know about pyrholidon addiction? You - "Hold on. Pyrholidon addiction? What an interesting metaphor…" (Study his face.) "Or perhaps not a metaphor at all?" Trant Heidelstam - "You got me, detective." He chuckles, before a shadow takes hold of his face. "But my history should hardly come as a surprise." Authority - Here's a former junkie. I can recognize one when I see it. Mikael Heidelstam - Suddenly little Mikael opens up his mouth: "Dad's fighting with sticks every night after dinner for four hours. He has a special room for that -- and a special costume!"

Trant is divorced and shares custody of his son with his mother. As usual, there's only one line that points at it. But at least it's clear enough. (I give their due to Jean/Trant shippers) Trant Heidelstam - "I sent him home," he responds calmly. "Mikael is with his mother. We share custody."

Judit has been in Harry's task force for only 2 months, imagine that. It probably explains why she's so nice to him. Judit Minot - "Lieutenant," she says with a heavy sigh. "My name is not 'Horse-Faced Woman'. It's Judit Minot. I was assigned to your unit two months ago. I thought we were friends..."

All facts are proven with quotes taken from the game dialogues on FAYDE. No quote - no fact.

Disco Elysium is a huge game, with lots of lore not just about its world, but about its characters... And this lore is split under a bazillion of different conversations which are hard to navigate and easy to miss.

As a result, there are a lot of small facts that many people just unaware of and make up their own stuff instead. The inconsistency irks me a little (actually, it irks me a lot). Love, peace <3

[lucysarah-c]

Mounting Spring Ch.8 SPOILERS

“So… do I have to make the damn tea or not?” Jean whispered, his voice barely audible as the group huddled together in a loose circle of conspiracy, all while Y/N inspected the kitchen behind them.

Armin, glancing over his shoulder at her with furrowed brows, was the first to break the silence. “I’ve heard that in the MPs, cadets are assigned mundane tasks for their superiors, like picking up their dry cleaning. Maybe she thinks that’s how the Scouts operate too.”

“You’ve been spending a lot of time talking about the MPs lately, huh, Armin?” Connie teased, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Armin flushed crimson, his brows knitting together in defense. “What? What do you mean?”

“You know what we mean,” Sasha chimed in, barely stifling a laugh.

Jean rolled his eyes, exasperated. “You’re all missing the point. Do I make the damn tea or not?”

“No,” Eren said flatly, as if the answer were obvious. “Maybe the MPs do this babysitting crap, but we don’t. We’re not the Military Police, and we’re definitely not her personal servants. Just tell her to make her own damn tea.”

“Maybe she just isn’t used to our kitchen,” Mikasa offered, her tone more considerate as she glanced at Y/N.

“Let’s just tell her—very subtly—”

Armin’s attempt at diplomacy was cut off by Jean, who groaned loudly. “That’s not what I mean! I’m asking what the chain of command is when a wife shows up!”

The Shiganshina trio collectively raised an eyebrow, their faces a mixture of disbelief and judgment.

“What chain of command?” Eren asked, crossing his arms. “She’s not a soldier. She doesn’t give us orders.”

Jean snorted. “Yeah, well, maybe you don’t remember how households work, but my dad never had the last word in our house—ever.”

Armin placed a calming hand on Eren, who looked ready to take offense. “Jean, come on,” Armin said gently, though his expression clearly showed he thought the question was absurd.

“No, no, Horse Face is right,” 

Jean’s brief moment of smug satisfaction was immediately shattered. “OI! Watch it, potato brain!”

IIgnoring him, Connie continued, “Yeah, my dad couldn’t do anything without asking my mom first. It was always, ‘Did you ask your mother?’ or ‘What does your mother say?’ And nine times out of ten, my mom said no.”

Sasha chimed in, nodding vigorously. “Yeah, my dad would act like he was in charge, but if my mom caught wind of something she didn’t like, he was dead meat.”

Mikasa, listening quietly, finally murmured, “I remember... my mom was the one who made the decisions too.”

Jean gestured wildly toward Sasha and Connie. “Exactly what I’m saying! If Captain Levi got married and now she’s the one giving him the dead-eye stare when she doesn’t like his decisions, where does that put her in the chain of command? Who’s higher in the chain of command: him or her?”

“Her.”

“Him.”

“Captain Levi isn’t our dad, though,” Eren muttered, still trying to wrap his head around the logic. “Men are still the head of the house, so he’s still in charge. She’s not our boss.”

“But if she gets mad and complains to Captain Levi, and he takes it out on us, then what?” Sasha pointed out. “We’re screwed either way.”

“Exactly,” Armin said, nodding gravely. “If we don’t do what she wants, she’ll complain, and Captain Levi will get pissed. If we don’t follow his orders, he’ll punish us directly. It’s a lose-lose situation.”

The group fell silent, clearly no closer to an agreement. Mikasa broke the tension with a hesitant question. “So… would that mean if Commander Erwin got married, his wife would have outrank all of us?”

Connie snickered. “Why not Commander Hange’s imaginary wife instead?”

“Be realistic,” Eren muttered.

As their bickering continued, Y/N stood by, watching them with growing confusion. ‘Maybe they’re busy working,’ she thought, eyeing the kettle that no one had touched. ‘Levi said not to interrupt them while they’re working.’

“Don’t worry about it, guys,” she finally announced. “I’ll just go for a walk instead.”

The group froze. Six pairs of eyes turned toward her in unison, panic flashing across their faces. Armin forced a sympathetic smile. “W-Where are you going?”

Y/N blinked, startled by their sudden interest. “I thought I’d take a stroll in the forest…”

Back in their circle, the squad exchanged panicked glances. One by one, they shifted closer to the kitchen door, as if preparing to block her path. Jean, quick on his feet, plastered on a bright smile and stepped in front of her.

“Eh?” she asked, tilting her head.

“Haha, look at the time!” Jean said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Why don’t you stay here for a little while longer?”

“I want to go out,” she insisted, her brow furrowing as she tried to move past him. “If you’ll excuse me—”

“Uh, maybe… maybe stay here while we, um…” Sasha stammered, desperately searching for the right words.

Y/N’s eyes widened as her unease turned into alarm. “Are you... are you kidnapping me?”

“No, no, no!” they all shouted in unison, waving their hands in frantic denial.

“You’re not kidnapped,” Armin assured her, his sweet smile doing little to ease her nerves. “You’re just... um... confined for now.”

Her face twisted into horror. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, NOT AGAIN!”

[mandareeboo]

For peeps of mine who haven't watched Rick and Morty (the correct choice tbh, you have good taste) here's a list of Random Bullshit that's canon in the show that you probably didn't even know:

Rick and Morty have hopped to at least two different universes to escape their various fuckups (three, if the universe where squirrels are sentient and control the government wasn't a weird joke) and the entire Smith family has jumped universe once.

Morty and Summer (his sister) have a canonical giant incest baby that lives in space named Naruto.

The baby itself was NOT conceived with intentional incest, but with a series of wacky shenanigans involving giant sperm, a horse breeding mount, and sexism.

Summer raised said baby mostly off-screen for like a month and taught it love and how to escape prison.

Rick has been pardoned for his Earth crimes at least three seperate times by pretending to be the turkey the President pardons on Thanksgiving. Somehow no time has passed however and they remain their normal ages.

FDR used to live in the basement of the White House as a giant spider creature. Used to because Morty burned him alive.

The show hates having canon SO FUCKING MUCH that Rick outright refused to even admit he had a backstory at all for four seasons.

One of the reoccurring villains is a guy named Story Lord who is legit just fighting for the show to have Canon Stakes and to give a fuck about its untapped potential. Rick and Morty both mock him relentlessly.

The many universes of Ricks made a government. Rick destroyed it. Then another version of Morty crushed the remains under his heel entirely to escape Rick.

The first Ricks to create dimensional travel realized there was a plethora of universes that weren't about Rick and sealed them away to feed his main character syndrome.

Rick's daughter, Beth, has a clone, but Rick ripped off their labels and spun them around in a circle a bunch of times before releasing one on the family and the other to live a Star Wars life in space. Even now no one knows which is which. The other Beth is called Space Beth and visits the house often.

Beth and Space Beth have banged. They then had a threesome with Jerry.

Rick has a mortal enemy named Mr. Nimbus who controls the ocean and police. Somehow. This is not extrapolated.

Beth and Jerry also had a threesome with Mr. Nimbus. It's implied Rick has also fucked Mr. Nimbus.

Rick became a pickle to escape family therapy. He stayed a pickle because he lied so well Beth took the serum because she thought it would hurt him.

The occasional season opener and ender is a weird fucker named Mr. Poopybutthole who just. Appeared one day. The show goes out of its way to leave plot crumbs on how Rick knows everyone else in his life but NOT Mr. Poopybutthole. He just showed up in an episode about parasites (he's not one, btw, that's the gag) and it's implied he's known the Smiths for years. Mr. Poopybutthole tells us all about his failing marriage and asks weirdly poignant questions about life and then tells the audience to keep tuned in to the current/next season.

Mr. Poopybutthole also canonically asked Morty, a fourteen year old, to marry him. It's implied Morty would've said yes.

The (ex) voice of Rick and Morty as well as the (ex) co-creator of the show casually confirmed that Ricks and Mortys fuck often and we just have to live with that.

Yes there's a lot of incest going on here. You get used to it.

Morty once deformed a man for life because he broke up with his sister.

Everyone in the Smith family has a body count in the hundreds and it's constantly being brushed off by authorities because the government can't kick Rick's ass.

Rick and Summer beat nazis in the streets for fun. Somehow conservatives love this fucking show. It's probably all the dicks.

The time police's entire fucking MO is beating whatever messed with time up while yelling "DON'T FUCK WITH TIME! DON'T FUCK WITH IT!" and Einstein, one of their victims, petulantly replied, "I WILL fuck with it!"

Rick has canonically fucked a planet, a collective, a woman with boobs on her elbows, a horse creature that lives underground, and ONE (1) human woman.

Morty also has/had a son, btw. He's most likely dead because he grew at an extremely fast rate and was in his mid-forties when we saw him last in season 1.

Rick once had Morty unintentionally murder dozens of Mortys to prove a point about his idea. His idea was a fake vat of acid with fake bones in a drawer to pull open and have float to the surface. He kept a gun to shoot a hole in any ladle they dipped in and a mediocre oxygen tube to stick in your mouth. This is a running gag and considered one of the best episodes of the show.