#horrible little gremlins
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late night rendezvous.
Elnia gets a late night visitor to her apartment looking for a place to lay low in the wake of his escape from the Jedi - Cad Bane x OC
Author’s Note - because I am chronically incapable of writing anything in chronological order, this is set somewhere in Elnia’s timeline after she and Cad have known and worked with each other for long enough to develop enough of a sense of trust for Cad to decide to hide out in her apartment. And also this whole scene is a thing because as impressive as it is for him to resist a Force interrogation from three of the strongest Jedi in the order, I don’t believe for a second it didn’t leave some lingering effects behind given it was explicitly stated that if they pushed Cad too far, he could lose his mind.
Also don’t ask where he got his hat and blasters back from after escaping Mace and Obi Wan, he felt naked without them 😂
— — — — —
There’s been enough buzz throughout Coruscant’s underworld about something going down at the Jedi temple to have vaguely piqued Elnia’s interest, even with the almost laughably heavy handed way the Jedi seemed to have tried to clamp down on the rumors. Her current planning for the latest job had been more than enough for the fuss to only briefly register on her agenda for the evening, but the last thing she had been expecting was to be jolted out of sleep to the presence of someone else in her apartment through the Force.
Reaching for her lightsaber, she carefully slipped out of bed and silently padded to the door, taking a deep breath to center herself before igniting the blade and stepping out into the main living room ready to attack, only to be met by a familiar tall figure in an unmistakable hat. She couldn’t help but come up short as her half asleep mind finally registered who her unexpected guest was, the Duros’ own hand on his blaster at the sound of the door opening.
“...Bane?”
For the briefest of moments, she thinks he looks almost guilty, before he smirks and the hand on his blaster moves to tip his hat at her.
“Evenin’, lil lady.”
“What in the name of the Winged Goddess are you doing in my apartment?” Elnia asked, turning off her saber and setting it on a side table.
“Need somewhere t’ lay low fer a few days, if you’re amenable.”
“How do you even know I have a place on Coruscant?” she sighed, before shaking her head, “Wait; don’t answer that. I was one of your bounties, of course you know where I live on planet. What were you even going to do if I wasn’t here?”
“Was hopin’ you wouldn’t be, t’ tell the truth.”
“Well, isn’t it nice knowing my one time bounty hunter’s decided my real estate makes for a good bolt hole,” she replied, moving over to her drinks cabinet, “Would’ve thought you had your own little hideaways to retreat to.”
“I did,” the venom in Bane’s voice is enough to make her pause in pouring the Zeltron whiskey, flicking her eyes back to the bounty hunter now on her couch, “Lost my station t’ the karking Jedi.”
“…oh so you’re the one who’s got the temple running around like a flock of headless tip-yip,” Elnia laughed as she moved back over to hand him the drink, “Guess I should have suspected as much.”
“Y’ heard about that quick,” he replied as she perched on the arm of the sofa.
“I wouldn’t be a very good merc if I didn’t keep an eye on the temple now and again, would I? Jedi don’t particularly take kindly to those who don't follow their chosen Force dogma.”
“Sounds like y’got personal experience.”
“Buy me a drink sometime to thank me for crashing on my couch and I might tell you the story,” she grinned, “Now, you are welcome to stay Bane, but I am going back to bed.”
As she returned to her bedroom, she climbed up to sit cross-legged in the middle of her bed to refocus her awareness of the Force to accommodate her unexpected guest, yet as she reached out towards Bane, she was met with a wall of defensive anger that felt like…the first thing that came to mind had been when she had been forced to hide in the jungles of her home world as a child while Gorgara had been hunting nydak, the defiant roars of the chirodactyl’s prey the closest thing she could compare his Force signature to. And she knew fine well what he normally felt like, cool and collected even in moments like when they had first met and she’d done her damndest to take his head off. And hearing that he’d been the one responsible for whatever had gone down at the Jedi temple…
Slipping back from the bed, she stepped into the doorway of her bedroom again, pausing before she decided to talk.
“Bane?”
“Hmm?” was the only response from the lanky figure sprawled out on her sofa, hat tipped down to cover his eyes.
“Did the Jedi try and interrogate you before you got away?”
Even in the dark, she could feel the intensity of his gaze as he reached to move his hat and look at her.
“Now why would’ja be askin’ a question like that, lil lady?”
“Cause your energy in the Force is all kriffed off and roaring at me like a cornered nydak,” she replied matter of factly, “You’re never normally that angry. Plus you doing something to annoy the temple enough for you to lose your station? Seems like a pretty logical conclusion that they tried to interrogate you for whatever job you were working on.”
“What are you anglin’ at?”
“I can fix whatever mess they left behind.”
“You’re not gettin’ in my head,” the forceful way he responded to her sent another wave of angry energy towards her, snapping at her subconscious like a cornered animal. If Elnia hadn’t been certain of his Force interrogation before, she definitely was now.
“I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want me to, but you’ve seen what I can do to the minds of people who are resisting my influence. Getting rid of something that shouldn’t be there in the first place if you allowed me to wouldn’t take much effort at all.”
In one move, Bane stood up from where he had been sprawled, stalking across the apartment to get up in her space, crimson eyes scrutinizing her face as she looked up at him. He’d seen her handiwork before, so she simply stared back and allowed him to decide for himself if he wanted to accept the offer.
“...that’s all y’want?”
“I have no interest in poking around in your memories. I’m not a kriffing Jedi,” she replied, an amused smile curling the corners of her mouth at his suspicion, “But if it makes you feel better, I won’t even put you under for it, so if you want to tell me to stop, I will.”
“...fine.”
“Good. Now we’ve agreed on that, go lie down on the carpet while I get what I need.”
“What?”
“You’re too damn tall for us both to fit on the sofa, Bane,” she replied with a grin, “And you don’t get into my bed without buying me dinner first.”
Turning back to the bedroom, Elnia headed to the cupboard where she kept much of the equipment she had left Dathomir with, pulling a waterskin and a shallow wooden bowl from the footlocker before returning to the sight of Bane standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room. Settling cross-legged onto her icewolf pelt rug, she turned to pull one of her side tables closer to set the bowl down before unscrewing the waterskin and pouring the Waters of Life into it, a pale green light emanating from the liquid as she looked up at Cad.
“I’m not going to make you drink it, if that’s what you’re grimacing about. The Waters are for me, not you. Now, come on. Head in my lap.”
Fixing her with a distinct expression of annoyance, she only shrugged at him.
“I’m fixing your head, aren’t I?”
Moving to lie down as told, Elnia allowed Bane to get as comfortable as he was going to before moving one of her hands over the bowl, closing her eyes for a moment as she started to chant in Dathomiri as she began drawing on the energies of the Waters. Beneath her fingers, she drew a ball of green energy into existence before directing it to drift around her head. Bane was still tensed up so as she continued, she moved her hands to either side of his head, gently pressing her fingers to massage into his temples.
As much as he’d been reticent to allow Elnia into his head, the soft green light of the swirling magick, combined with her soft chanting and the gentle steady pressure of her fingertips managed to lull him into such a sense of relaxation, he couldn’t help but let out a low rumble of satisfaction.
“…are you purring?”
“Kark off, witch,” he grumbled, cracking open an eye to idly reach up and swat at Elnia, her own hand darting up to lightly rap his knuckles before he got close despite still having her eyes closed.
“Ah, so I’m a witch now, am I?,” she grinned, “And here I thought you liked me.”
“Awful presumptuous of ya.”
“Besides, I didn’t claim it was a bad thing,” she continued, one of her hands moving to cup his cheek at the odd angle as she leaned down above him, pale face framed by her loose silver hair. The ball of green light had now created something of a halo around her head, and as she opened her eyes, their usual silver was replaced by that same misty green which did little to hide the distant gaze that seemed to bore into his very soul at the same time, “It means you’re relaxed enough for me to do this.”
Before he could question it, Cad was suddenly struck by a sensation all too similar to the invasive interrogation of the Jedi, yet rather than their bullish probing, the only thing that he could picture was a big cat like those he had encountered on other planets, silent but ruthlessly effective in hunting down their prey. He’d barely even noticed her pressing forward into his mind, save for the sudden disorientating sensation of no longer being alone in his head.
What seemed to rise up to meet her was a chorus of whispering voices, the same phrase the Jedi had used in interrogating him swirling around his head in a near maddening cacophony.
You will take us to the holocron, you will take us to the holocron, youwilltakeustotheholocronandyouwilltakeus -
Before the sentence could end, Elnia struck, pulling the magick around the echoing impressions of the Jedi’s Force signatures like a snare. As she pulled her hand away from Bane’s face, a green web of energy coiled around what appeared to be a glowing cloud drew away with her fingers before she flicked it away into nothing, the light of her magick dying out with it.
“Well, that worked.”
As Elnia leaned back with a hiss, Bane sat up to regard her, and as she blinked back into awareness of the world around her, he realized that the sclera of her left eye had gone black with a popped blood vessel from the effort, a bead of dark blood oozing from her nose that she quickly wiped away with the back of her hand.
“Y’ sure?”
“You tell me. Any guests who’ve overstayed their welcome still knocking around in that head of yours?”
“I guess not,” he replied after focusing for a moment.
“Told you, Cad,” she smiled ruefully, “I’m very good at what I do.”
#oc: elnia zotra#cad bane#otp: raise a little hell#may the force be with you#my writing#these two have been living rent free in my brain for a MINUTE#horrible little gremlins#i love them dearly
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UWQRGHHHHHHHHHHAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WWWREADER U R SO PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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eldest sister dick having a mental breakdown 24/7. he misses www!reader so much until she actually bothers him again and immediately regrets it. also once again your art......... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH sorry was having a moment there
#sophie speaks#sophie answers#series:www#moots#luffyadolover#i love little gremlin tim#theyre all horrible people and i love them your honour
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AU where everything is the same but Konrad Curze is one of those obnoxious TikTok prank guys
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howling at shockwave's extremely disappointed stepfather energy
#his little 'oh? really now?' ajskskmsns#dealing with his terrible horrible gremlin stepsons since 1984#tf soundwave#shockwave tf#wavewave#rumble#tf rumble#tf frenzy#shockwave#transformers#not star wars posts#soundwave makes him watch the kids in every continuity. bet. i can name at least 4 times this has happened.#he always get stuck with rumble/frenzy or laserbeak. never one of the sensible soundwave minions like ravage#rip my king you're so patient and real for babysitting like that
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while rewatching Battlestar Galactica i really did not expect to like Gaius Baltar this much as a character, my memory of him was an obnoxious, self-centered man who would betray anyone to survive
and he is that. But damn he's fun to watch. He's simultaneously one of the most intelligent people alive and the most clueless creature in the fleet.
this face as he's presented with obvious information that people stopped trusting him. He stands still like that for a solid 5 seconds.
and just before it cuts to another shot he moves his eyes
BSG is not a fun show (nor is it supposed to be). But damn these moments with him make me laugh
#bsg 2003#battlestar galactica#gaius baltar#again#only he gives me the urge to post his face online#the horrible little gremlin of a man
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hakaba kitarou may be a horrible child, but he is my horrible child (gets dissolved in acid water)
#hakaba kitaro#hakaba kitarou#yumi's art#gegege no ge#fun fact i watched the water god episode#on the ides of march#and like. top 10 anime betrayals and all i guess#but yeah i love this little gremlin#also really like how like. traumatized he got#god that sounds horrible lemme rephrase that#his reaction to neko musume's death#and later his paranoia about water droplets#it felt. real ? there was a weight to it#so yeah. awful child. love him to bits#justice for mizuki tho sdfsdfghjf dear lord
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*in a long black coat, slips a note in your hand* thad carlson is so horrible kids by set it off actually *disappears in the shadow*
#here i come out as a thad fan. yeah hes a horrible little gremlin but hes MY horrible little gremlin#also one of the character with the BEST wasted potential. i coudl talk for hours#hes actually in my top four characters too#bully cce#bully scholarship edition#thad carlson#nerds#odyposts
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Do cats know that they're the most perfect beings alive? They're so soft and so fluffy and so warm... so cute and funny and athletic... u cuddle up to one and u feel all ur woes drifting away... and then they have their sharp little teeth and claws to keep things interesting. The spice of life. It is part of their charm.
#speculation nation#AND THEIR MEOWS........ I CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH OF EM#screaming it from the rooftops I LOVE CATSSSSSSSSS#i know that this is a sentiment shared by many but man i am just#i have spent all but 3 years of my life living with cats and i just cannot imagine life without them#those 3 years were bc college shit. and they were miserable.#i love my little kitties so very much. even when theyre being horrible gremlins they are my everything.
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Only those of you who have encountered my v specific niche headcanons can understand why I was so delighted by Mon Mothma’s AWFUL marriage in Andor but like. if you know you know
#horrible banal family drama against the backdrop of creeping political terror on imperial coruscant is EXACTLY what i ordered#albeit with a slightly different twist but it’s close enough that on first watch i cackled like a horrid little gremlin#i feel bad for her i feel bad for them all! but also. the fact that they bullseyed the v niche coruscant vibe i wanted is SO funny to me#@ mike did u show tony gilroy & co our dms#andor#star wars#my posts
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i am nova/thalia truther and not one of the 66 episodes I am yet to hear will change that
fingers crossed at some point Nova is moisturising Thalia's headsnakes
#little bracelet#of her mother's scarf#make me sob you horrible little d&d gremlins#high rollers#high rollers aerois#aerois
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whenever i need a laugh or a smile i go back and watch the early bells hells episodes. like pre-bassuras was such an insane vibe for an adventuring party and the shit they got into? unparalleled. truly just a collection of guys doing shit and sometimes experiencing consequences. and then bassuras came down on them like the fucking sword of damocles. i hope that one day, when this is all over, bells hells will still travel, doing dumb shit and fucking around like they once did for lord ariks eshteross. i hope they find that peace once their questions are answered, but i don’t know if a quiet life is for them. i think they’d just continue on, continue to scheme, do incredibly chaotic shit for forever. just let them throw parties, root out government corruption and little shade creepers every once in a while, and pretend to be ghosts, that’s the proper bells hells post-campaign enrichment plan
#cr#cr3#the idea of a level 20 party just doing dumb shit forever rather than accepting places of power in the world is so funny to me#and SO hells. the level 20 cleric is just a fuckin robot who meets up with his gun robot partner and they eat muffins together#and also the level 20 cleric’s best friend level 20 barbarian continues to get into bar fights for some fucking reason#and then their level 20 fighter friend has to go bail him out but also ends up getting drunk but in a fun way#meanwhile this werewolf blood hunter and incredibly terrifying fire druid lady have been cleaning out a local casino#and there have been rumors of a terrifying flower girl haunting the poker floor#a level 20 sorcerer and a level 20 bard have a nice little game of chess together#and all is right in the universe#so in conclusion fuck you ludinus da’leth you’re in the WAY of my HORRIBLE GREMLIN FUTURE
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they can yassify Marlin........
they can yassify Gustafa...........
they can even yassify Murrey......
but will Marvelous get on the level I was on when I was fourteen, in 2006, and yassify Daryl????
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#story of seasons#harvest moon#story of seasons a wonderful life#I'm gonna go out on a limb here and estimate that absolutely zero people are going to care about this lmao#but oh BOY every time I watch a video about the remake my old bishounen Daryl sketches are lurking in the back of my mind#and I still don't know what he looks like in the remake lol like DID THEY RUIN HIM TOO#DID THEY MAKE EVEN MY HORRIBLE GREMLIN SCIENTIST MAN PRETTY.........#I really loved that A Wonderful Life was so ugly (complimentary) lol I'm sad the remake is so Pretty#THEY DID CODY SO FUCKING DIRTY#oh yeah also I shipped Daryl and Flora together because even when I was 14 I had Problematic Tastes#still crossing my fingers every time I watch a new trailer for the remake that Daryl will show up and that he'll be an awful little gremlin#like he should be#my art#yeah it's going in the tag lol
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okay I got slightly better pictures of them they will NOT hold still but here are name suggestions so far
Wing and Drumstick Yumpter and Mash (Mashew) Pinky and Ponko Ru and Fus Bingus and Baseball
I was already kinda thinking of going with Chicken and Drumstick but a friend mentioned Coronel and Popeyes..... which kinda matches their old-man faces too
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funniest thing said about my ranger last session that i still think about:
bard, while holding someone hostage: listen here (points at himself) i can k!ll you
(points at our wizard) he can k!ll you
(points at our warlock) she can k!ll you
(points at my ranger, holding this poor sop at g*npoint after pistol whipping him across the face) she can DEFINITELY k!ll you
#oriana you are horribly feral and i love you so much#my little m*rder gremlin#who is also a klutz#lovefeasted ▸ ooc.
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so angel finding about who he was meant absolutely nothing for him (and for the plot)?? because he literally was like "yeah, tragic story. let's date kouki-san?☺️"
iconic.
#i mean actually same#listen#i was expecting his story being somehow related to kouki but I don't think it is#that was really horrible what happened but also angel still doesn't remember anything#he's just cute little angel acting like a cute little gremlin#and i am absolutely okay with this#one room angel
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I have acquired glazed donuts which I am now going to eat in bed while I continue watching this romance show.
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