#hornblas

[gavindna]

3 minutes into episode 11 and hornblas whimpering audio 😭😭😭😭

[asmoshoebox]

most earth shattering revelation of episode 11: hornblas was not, in fact, rocking a sick afro mohawk and a spiked leather jacket and crust pants and platform heels on stage at y2k. he was wearing. angelic robes. okay nerd

[shmiki]

[brimstonevalleymall]

We’re SO CLOSE! Let the demons in your life know that the queer indie fiction podcast filled with 90s nostalgia and demons from Hell needs THEM to help make it happen. Spread the word, let’s do this! And hey, when we get to 80% we’ll release our final script sneak peek. 👀

[delaneytalks-tostatues]

"Hey, this is Hornblas, lead singer of Mall Rat. Misroch, Asmoraias, Belzagor and I aren’t home, so leave us a message.

None of us are demons by the way. Definitely not from Hell. Okay. Cool. You know what to do."

HAPPY BRIMSTONE VALLEY MALL S2 DAY!!! This season is already off to a great start I'm so excited to see where this goes.

Thank you to all my friends for indulging me in this silly little group (special thanks to Del/Trent for the y2k furby)

Full group credits can be found here.

If you haven't listened to @brimstonevalleymall literally what are you waiting for???

[boombox-fuckboy]

Podcasts Crowdfunding

Let me know if I'm missing any, and I'll add them.

Hi Nay (Act 3)

Closes 2023-04-07

Hi Nay, literally translated to “Hi Mom”, is a supernatural horror fiction podcast about Filipina immigrant Mari Datuin, whose babaylan (shaman) family background accidentally gets her involved in stopping dangerous supernatural events in Toronto.

Arden (Season 3)

Closes 2023-04-13

In Season 3, Bea, Brenda and the rest of Team Arden will be heading to NYC, the Very Large Apple, to investigate the robbery of the lost painting A Long Summer's Night. Stolen in 1929, the masterpiece by mysterious artist Ronald Overton has been missing ever since... except for one night, July 4th, 2001, when it appeared in the background of a photograph taken by siblings Linus and Demi Callas at a party that neither can quite remember.

The Last Echoes (Season 1)

Closes 2023-04-20

The Last Echoes is an audio drama that tells the story of one planet's decision after they're offered membership in the galaxy's greatest alliance. It also tells the stories of 8 people living on worlds that are nothing but history and memory and gives audio glimpses into the sound of those lost worlds.

Twigs and Hearts (Season 1)

Closes 2023-04-21

A book that ties many together. Who picks up a copy? What powers do they serve? Between missing people and people missing, who will you trust? Twigs and Hearts. Open at your own risk. Twigs and Hearts is a queer supernatural horror audio drama that questions reality, relationships and radios.

Project Gnosis (Part 2)

Closes 2023-05-01

Project Gnosis follows supernatural agents, both monsters and beings of legend, as they travel around the world to stop conspiracies and acts of terror waged by forces from humans to cryptids. Follow a jiangshi, a werehorse, and an Irish legend in a story filled with a diverse and talented cast.

The Attic Monologues (Season 2)

Closes 2023-05-01

The Attic Monologues is a serialised urban fantasy audio drama from Audio Verse Award winner Morgan Greensmith, following Nyx Ryland, a drama student who starts practising with a mysterious collection of monologues they discover in their attic. But when they start receiving strange threats from the supposed author of these monologues, it all begins to feel like more than just coincidence.

Brimstone Valley Mall (Season 2)

Closes 2023-05-02

It's been almost three years since this dark comedy fiction podcast left our fans on a cliffhanger. And wasn't that fun? Now here we are! Three years and a global pandemic later, bringing you a final season that will answer all of your burning questions! Like: What happened to Hornblas? Will our demons make it back to the mall? What IS a bagel bite? We want to wrap up this story in a way that's more satisfying than a five finger corndog shoved down the gullet. And with your help, we plan to do just that.

[maximumpenetration]

Look mom I'm listening to podcasts again

I've been on sort of a podcast listening binge lately. Between the school year making my commutes longer to being able to spend more time focused on work projects uninterrupted, I've had a lot more time to just vibe out and take in a good story or two. I've been catching up on some that I left hanging after work started calling us back to the office, and I also picked up a bunch from a serial fiction recommendation thread elsewhere.

The first one of these I ended up cracking open was Brimstone Valley Mall. Set in the few days before Y2K, the story follows a group of demons from Hell masquerading as humans in a band, as they try to figure out why one of them has gone missing on the cusp of biggest gig of their lives. It's a pretty rad setup, and the story's paced well enough that once everyone's on the same page (where exactly is Hornblas?) I was genuinely interested enough to power through the back half of the season. I give this a pretty solid recommendation.

I have some issues with some of the knowing wink humor of being set in the 90s (no, man, I really don't need a three minute diatribe about how hilarious it is that one character thinks that cell phones aren't going to take off), and there's one really bad over 9000 reference that nearly made me switch to something else. I think it's especially a bummer because there are a lot of genuinely funny moments in the show, but the writing feeling like it has to lean on "haha what if the Wallace Didney Association overtook all media!" really drags down the mood. It smooths over after the first few episodes, so it's worth powering through. I know the second season is starting up recording now, so I only hope some of this feedback went their way after the end of the first season.

Solid listen, though, and each episode is like 20-25 minutes combining up to about four hours of run time.

[playgroundpods]

Attention Brimstone Valley Mall shoppers! SJ and Gab have decided to take over the PA system. If you do not hear what they say, then simply do! Listen to it now!

Listen to it here!

[waveridden]

In hell, you’re assigned to do something, and you figure out how to do it. But human jobs? Belzagor Smith — it was the only human last name she could think of, okay, not everyone has an elaborate backstory (Asmoraius) or a total disregard for naming conventions (Misroch) or a deep amount of care for how first and last names flow together and making sure that it sounds nicely (Hornblas) — is apparently not very hireable.

The first week in south central Pennsylvania, and all the bumps in the road. 2.7k. Written as a charity commission for @candidateofloyalty!

[misnis]

hiiiiiii me and @youve-got-a-novel-in-you made a buzzfeed unsolved au for mall rat <3

[youve-got-a-novel-in-you]

haha whoops (writes bvm fanfic and fucks up time) 

[gavindna]

Girl help I’m such a dumbass for the longest time I thought brimstone valley ball just got, like, discontinued or something, just relistened to it and only just now realized that the Angel guy in the reckoning was hornblas

[asmoshoebox]

the gang reacts to a spider in the house

belzagor: hey bud. i was gonna sit there, do you mind... yeah. thanks.

asmoraius: [big reflexive twitch, drops whatever he's holding] SHIT-- oh! i didn't see you there! wow, aren't you beautiful<33

hornblas: yoooooo check it outttt!!!!! massive pedipalps on this one haha that's so crazy!!

misroch: [they raise a flyswatter and are engulfed in a cartoonish cloud of dust with limbs and kitchen implements flying around in it. sfx banging pots and pans, cat yowls, etc. when the dust clears they're heaving and shaking and covered in blood. the spider is skittering away, clearly unharmed.]

[podcastbigbang]

Untitled BVM Angst Fic

Synopsis:

Hornblas is gone, and Belzagor knows that... it just hasn't quite hit her yet. When it does, it's because they're already trying to replace him, and Misroch and Asmoraius have to try to help her figure out how to handle it. Eventually, she musters up the ability to talk to Xaphan, and finds that (while she is no Hornblas Replacement) her company is rather pleasant, too.

Rating: Teen

Pairings or Main Characters: Belzagor & Misroch & Asmoraius, Belzagor & Hornblas, Belzagor & Xaphan 

Author Intro: 

@youve-got-a-novel-in-you : Hi i’m farren and i have no idea what i’m doing 

Artist Intros: 

@apple-scrumper : hi!!! I’m axel and im here to also be evil

@stygiomedusa : howdy! i’m styg and i have decided to be evil now <3 

Beta Intros: 

@starshipviolet : Hey! I’m Vi, I’m here for Belzagor who deserves the world and that’s not evil! I don’t know why everyone keeps pointing at the path of destruction furbys have wreaked!

@bisexualoftheblade : Hey yall! I’m Cai, and I’m here because I thought BVM wasn’t quite sad enough the first time around.

[pronouncingitwang]

[ID: A script that reads

Belzagor: [sighs] Xaphan: You’re not okay. Belzagor: Nope. [SFX: Belzagor picks up flask, unscrews lid] Belzagor: I feel like I haven’t been okay in… a while. [SFX: She takes a swig] Belzagor: Want some? Xaphan: No thank you. It makes me barf. Belzagor: Oh, right. That’s fair. [SFX: she takes another swig] Xaphan: When was the last time you… did feel okay? Belzagor: That’s a good question actually. Hmm… Honestly? Since like, before you even showed up. Xaphan: Oh. … Um…. Did I… Do … Belzagor: What? [realizing] OH! No nonono. That’s not it- Xaphan: It’s okay if it is. Belzagor: No no it has nothing to do with you! Xaphan: [caps] Do I make you sad??? Belzagor: No no that’s not it at all! Xaphan: [caps] Did I ruin your life??? Belzagor: I love having you around!! You’re great! Xaphan: Are you allergic to me?? Belzagor: Wait what that’s not even possible- XAPHAN: I CAN LEAVE!! Belzagor: No Xaphan I like you a lot!! Like a lot!! Please stay here in [redacted] with me! [a beat] Xaphan: You mean it? Belzagor: Yes. Totally. Xaphan: [a sigh of relief] Okay. I will do that. [a beat] Belzagor: If anything I’m surprised you like being around me. You’ve only ever known me as like… kind of a bummer. Xaphan: You just have many feelings. Belzagor: I didn’t used to be like this. I always thought of myself as, y’know, a pretty chill demon. This stuff with Hornblas has got me all messed up. I’m like, I dunno. Like a raw nerve all the time. Xaphan: Emo. Belzagor: What? Xaphan: Emo. It’s a new thing. It’s like being emotional but… cool. Belzagor: Ha. You think I’m cool? Xaphan: Everyone thinks you’re cool.

/end ID]

You got us to 40% on our indiegogo, demons! So we think it’s high time we released another sneak peak of the script for season 2. Have you missed Belzagor and Xaphan? *sigh* So have we, kids. So have we. If you want more demonic content be sure to support our indiegogo, follow us on social media: linktr.ee/bvmpod, and most importantly SPREAD THE WORD!

[delaneytalks-tostatues]

not to brag or anything, but like, my friends and I are sooooooo goth~

If you haven't been here before: meet Xaphan, stoker of the bellows of the flames of hell! Allegedly Hornblas' replacement. She is NOT in the band...or is she?

If I find the energy soon I'll do one of these for Misroch, Belz, Trent, and Trainee too...

@brimstonevalleymall I am counting down the days to your return.