#hoping* fuck it im not retyping that

[symbiodyke]

trying not to cry b4 having to go on register 🤪

[stars444hearts]

big reputation || 2

caitlin clark x actress! reader masterlist - prev - next warnings: none

caitlin_clark22

Liked by kate_martin03, yn_ln, and 820,508 others

caitlin_clark22 by the grace of whatever’s up there 🙏🙏🙏 Tagged: kate_martin03

View Comments

kate_martin03 caption’s tuff →caitlin_clark22 enough. 

user1 WAIT IS IT A NOD TO Y/N’S TWEET →user2 its def not they don’t even know each other →user3 NO Y/N LIKED THE POST

—

Y/n smiled as she read through Caitlin’s comments. After the eye-opening conversation she had with Kate last night, Y/n had become more open to the idea. 

She also thought the caption was cute. 

Y/n groaned as her stomach grumbled. She placed her phone on her bed, stood up, cracked her spine, and walked into her kitchen. 

Y/n decided to make something easy, then sit on her couch and binge-watch crappy reality tv. This was her first week off in months and she would spend it rotting in her living room like every normal 21-year-old. 

Y/n couldn’t tell you the number of below-deck episodes she had binge-watched, but by the time she finished, the sun was down and the crickets were chirping. She begrudgingly stalked back to her bedroom, changing into her pajamas and throwing herself down on her bed. 

She picked up her phone, only to drop it a second later in shock. 

[yn_ln]  Caitlin Clark                            4h ago sent you a message

—

Caitlin, on the other hand, was freaking out. She had never even spoken to Y/n before, but Kate had convinced her to DM her. 

Caitlin probably typed and retyped her DM 50 times before settling on a ‘hey !’

Caitlin groaned and shoved her phone down after finally hitting send. She couldn’t help but picking up her phone every ten seconds to see if Y/n had opened or responded to her DM. 

After 10 minutes, Caitlin had eventually given up hope of a response and sighed, turning off her phone and putting her head in her hands. 

Caitlin buisied herself by ordering doordash and sitting on her couch, rewatching film her coaches gave her to look over. She lost track of time and found herself mindlessly picking at her fingers, only coming to when she realized it was past midnight. ]

She groaned as she stood up from the couch, attempting to rub the sleep from her eyes. Caitlin walked into her bedroom as she sat on her bed. She picked up her phone and almost threw it when she saw her most recent notification. 

[caitlin_clark22] Yn Ln                            20m ago sent you a message

— 

Caitlin  hey !

Y/n hey yourself sorry for leaving you on delivered i was binge-watching below deck

Caitlin which one?

Y/n mediterranean, duh

Caitlin good. That's the best one Yn liked this message

Y/n so, i’m assuming kate told  you to dm me?

Caitlin well, to be honest, i had kinda been wanting to ever since i met you on facetime with kate. 

Y/n brother that was 6 months ago 💀

Caitlin LEAVE ME ALONE, OK i'm just a girl

Y/n SO REAL whenever people tell me im doing  something wrong i get so annoyed  like im just a girl that curb shouldn’t have been there 😠

Caitlin LMFAOO Anyways, yeah, kate finally bullied me into texting my celebrity crush who she just  happens to be best friends with

Y/n 🤨🤨 is that all i am to you?? a pretty face?

Caitlin NO NO I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT I SWEAR

Y/n LMFAOO im just fucking with you anyways, going back to that… celebrity crush, you say? 🤨😏

Caitlin 😶 moving on…

Y/n no, no i wanna know

Caitlin umm… basically i’ve just been really obsessed with your show lately and kate told me i should shoot my shot but im now realizing maybe i should save that for the court

Y/n LMFAOO nah, kate was right she showed you my tweet, right?

Caitlin yeah, why?

Y/n because i wasn’t kidding. 

[kinkajouwof]

Hi i know this is gonna sound really stupid but, how could a cis person go about making trans headcanons? Since i wouldn't want to accidentally make a blunder or say something hurtful

IM GONNA BE HONEST, ITS PRETTY SIMPLE!

STEP 1. KNOW WHAT TRANS STEREOTYPES THERE ARE. THIS IS PRETTY EASY, SINCE REALLY THE STEREOTYPES ARE NOT VERY SURPRISING (AND ALSO VERY PREVALENT EVERYWHERE IN ALL THE ANTI TRANS HATE GOING AROUND)

STEP 2. LOCATE THE CHARACTER U THINK WOULD BE COOL WITH A TRANS HEADCANON

STEP 3. THEY ARE TRANS NOW

ITS RLLY NOT SOMETHING I CONSIDER TO BE VERY DEEP. JUST THINK "HMMM....THIS CHARACTER TRANSGENER :)" AND BOOM! THEY ARE NOW! THERES NO NEED TO TRY TO JUSTIFY THE LOGIC OF THEM BEING TRANS, NOR TRY TO WRITE IT INTO THEIR STORY SOMEHOW. THEY JUST...CAN BE TRANS!

BUT ALSO LIKE. REMEMBER TO LISTEN TO TRANS PPL IF THEY HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT SAID HEADCANON. IT DOESNT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY FUCK UP! AS LONG AS YOURE WILLING TO LISTEN AFTERWARDS, YKNOW?

OVERALL, THANKS FOR ASKING! TBH I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS VERY HELPFUL BUT I HOPE IT WAS :3

[gunnrblze]

Hello, hope you’re doing alright! I’m back with Ghosts related song recs part 4 lol.

You said you were up for some loud songs last time, so loud it is! Plus one calm song to salvage your ears lmfao. Watch you’re volume tho because I’ve killed my hearing one too many times with some of these. (Also excuse the mass amount of Cane Hill. I think they do loud music very well 😔)

(The New) Jesus - Cane Hill: If there ever was a song that is the epitome of Fed Rorke, this is easily one of the top contenders for me. You can’t tell me that man doesn’t love to play God. His ass was smug the entire game.

Kill Me - Cane Hill: this one is very Hesh coded to me. He was already pissed after Elias’s death. The dude must’ve been FERAL after the beach. Idk this song very much feels like blind rage to me, I think it’s fitting.

Screwtape - Cane Hill: Kick our beloved freak. What can I say, this song is a little screwy. (Idk how else to put it help.) I think it matches him well. I don’t think he’s this insane 100% of the time but he has his moments. A little savior complex, mayhaps?

Eyeless - SlipKnot: FED LOGAN, NO?? The feds fucked this poor man up for sure, he’s definitely a little crazy after the pit. Also the resentment towards a father figure is *chef’s kiss*. I definitely think Logan would hold some resentment towards his family/the Ghosts once he’s free. The classic “why didn’t you save me?” complex.

Gods - Sleep Token: I kinda got some Keegan vibes from this? Not too sure so lmk what you think if you’d like. He’s pretty calm and collected but he has his beserker moments—Ajax’s death, to name one. I imagine he must feel very strung out sometimes, and that frustration turns to anger: “my fucking form is but a wreck beneath them.”

There’s a Girl in the Corner - The Twilight Sad: here’s the calmer song lol. You said you liked synth and these guys use it a lot in their music. This song also gives me Keegan vibes, specifically after SV. The “she’s not coming back from that”, specifically. That op definitely killed a part of who he was.

Well, that’s all from me! I hope you like them. As always, I’m very curious to hear your opinions or suggestions of your own! Sorry for all the recs lately, I have so many 😟, but feel free to tell me to shut up lmao. I get it. Either way, have a good one. :)

— Cold blooded anon

Also!!! I apologize if this got sent twice. My WiFi absolutely offed itself in the middle of writing the first one, so I had to retype EVERYTHING. I don’t actually know if it sent?

Hello my dear, I hope you’re well too! Thank you for more recs, I’m being fed so well by you lol. I loved these and have many thoughts once again;

(The New) Jesus- godddd im obsessed with this+Fed Rorke, ur a genius. “Welcome to Genesis, go see the miracles now. I’ll be your exodus so you can tell all the others God was found” HELLO? The ex Christian in me is having many thoughts lmao. He definitely loves the power trip of being the Feds commander

Kill Me- I fw this bad. Hesh was definitely feral post beach and I think this perfectly captures how earth shatteringly enraged he’d be, and directed mostly at Rorke? Yeowch

Screwtape- KICK my freaky boy, I love this for him. I feel like when he gets upset it’d be very volatile/emotional like this. This band almost reminds me of Slipknot a bit, I really like them :))

Eyeless- well speaking of Slipknot I love this song hehe, smiled when I saw it cus it reminds me of my own brother lol. This definitely fits the genuine insanity Logan would feel from the pit. “I am my father’s son cause he’s a phantom, a mystery, and that leaves me nothing” this is KILLING me actually. He (and Hesh) were essentially thrusted into their father’s world (literally a phantom/ghost, hello), and all the mystery surrounding his legacy, all the unanswered questions they must have EEK. Rorkes “why won’t Elias save me” in the pit would be Logan’s “why won’t Hesh save me” in the pit, it’s perfectttt

Gods- oh I loveee this for Keegan, my poor traumatized man. His calm cool collected shit definitely gets challenged, even just looking for Ajax during that mission he was loosing it and I think this fits him

There’s a girl in the corner- WEEPING this feels like a Keegan song too. Love the synth and the vibe. If he was actually as young as his canon age suggests (which feels impossible to be 16/17 during SV but I digress lol) there’s no way he left with all the parts of himself he came with.

Def don’t shut up or apologize for all the recs!! I love and appreciate these so much, send as many as you want hehe. Also I did get the first one but i got interrupted with something right in the middle of listening to all of these earlier and then forgot 💀

[jacedified]

SUMMIT PT 2 LIVE REACTION

wdym u can explain eventually

TELL HIM VINCE- i-

WILLIAM ORDERED U but like why tho

ok porter i love u MWAH

SOLAIRES STAND AS ONE NATION UNDER GOD INDIVISIBLE whatever whatever

ALEXIS GET UR SHIT TOGETHER

period alexis

i would love a game of clue rn

shes not wrong abt the wrinkles

LEX??? WTF AYE Lex VINCENT WTF DO U MEAN LEX

sweethearts safe and sound BLESS 😭

GIRL ATP I NEED U TO SPEAK IM TO ANXIOUS FOR SILENCE

milo bby its ok OUR POOKIE IS OK

asher smooch MWAH ily be safe

yea davey king dead happened while u were in negotiations

PUSH THEM AWAY???

DAYYYUMM ofc they didnt get to see who did the murder DAAAMMNIT

idky but evacuate the dance floor is playing in my head

(EVACUATE THE DANCE FLOOR DOO DOO DOO DOO IM ADDICTED TO THE SOUND) ((i forgot the lyrics))

aww another trusting moment between the men

PORTER CMERE BABES

yeah tell him asher

GET HIS ASS

PORTERR ill-

GET HIM ASHEERRRR

im crying i have tears in me eyeballs yall i cant

SPEAK SIR

ok thats true but like why did u send SH in there right before u knew he was gonna die????

DID I HEAR HEARSAY

true i cant handle a war rn and lovely shouldnt be spending their first year fighting on behalf of a clan they just became a part of

porter if ur not spinning then why do u look like a ballerina rn?? hmm?? EXPLAIN

YEA BUT THE NUDGE WAS DONE KNOWING SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN A LITTLE HEADS UP WOULDVE BEEN FUCKING NICE

lets go crazy crazy crazy till we see the sun

the department is right there.. in sweetheart form

BLOOD FIRST??? oh yeah vampire clan rules blah blah i remember this being mentioned during quinns little moment

WHO TF IS SPEAKING?? alexis? GIRL THATS NOT U SPEAK LIKE NORMAL

OH THE MONARCH IS SPEAKING i was lost

baas? bahs? someone spell this for me i wanna kiss her SORRY yall

BOYS JUST KEEP UR WOLFY HANDS DOWN

. . . yeah shes not wrong solaire and friends should probably sit out

MILO ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

as if you care princely pop..

OH- TELL HIM ALEXIS clock him

oooooh???

alexa play ash by seventeen

well william aint here rn hes got other rich people duties

i hope SH is like stupidly staring at alexis the way i would be

so ur saying u left him alone before he died

HE DIDNT SAY? mf u were pestering abt funding just say he was annoyed w u

LEAVE WILLIAM ALONE HES BUSY (this is my sticking up for my 500 something yr old bby daddy)

well thats just hearsay princely poo

oh- AYE ADAM DESERVED IT CUNT!! (no he didnt i love him but yes he did)

YEAAAA TELL HIM

thank u porter poo

yea … christopher

they were fighting vincent for the most part so alibi CHECK

sorry monarch we didnt mean to kil- i mean let the king die without notice.. ill let u know next time

THEY FOUND SOMETHING YAALL

MORE TO THE STORY??? omg OH SHIT demon blood on a letter opener is crazy

so someone stabbed my other future husband with a letter opener

SHE CALLED ASHER PUP i love the monarch

OK MONARCH I WAS JUST COMPLIMENTING U GOD DAMN IT BE NICE

ok maybe david was a little silly asking that question but u cant expect him to know everything

so basically what im hearing is a demon was involved only ppl who closely align with empowered and demons would the house of bennett and their relationship with closeknit

CHRISTOPHER U LYING SACK OF SHIT WE CAUGHT U

ONE OF U OLD BAGS CALL ANOTHER SHAW PACK BOYS A DOG AND YOULL BE ON THE NEXT BEHEADING LIST

exactly someone got caught lacking after killing the king and didnt think to fuckin check themselves before letting the king be found

period porter.

i would retype all of this but shes just speaking fact so i dont need to take note of any of it

YOU GAVE HER THE POWER TO DO SO DUMBASS

ANOTHER DEATH??? damn both kings dead during the summit is wild

yeah milo my mind is kinda blown

NO MORE MONEY FOR CLOSEKNIT WOOT WOOT NO MORE MONEY CLOSEKNIT WOOT WOOT

vincent im too mentally unstable for an “are you alright lovely”

I REMEMBER IT BEING SPELLED BAAS so monarch baas is very right

NO HES JUST A BBYGIRL HE DONT KNOW NOTHIN

help “with any luck it wont be the last” shes so real for that

YES MAAM THIS WILL BE REPEATED TO KNOW ONE LOVE U HAVE A WONDERFUL REST OF UR SUMMIT *bow bow*

vincent listen i love u but like shes right we just have to keep it pushing

PORTER VINCENT TALK TIME lets gooo

IM EXCITED FOR PT 3

[shwarmii]

hi, i'm @/shwarmi, and tumblr tERMINATED MY BLOG (AND ALL MY SIDE-BLOGS WITHOUT WARNING ME) and i messaged them to get it back but idk when theyll get back to me, so here i am in the meantime, hello, i guess this is my back-up account now, yes, my url is a pun on Roman numerals, anyway, sure do fucking hope i gET MY BLOG BACK JFC

edit: i've been filling out a ticket form about Account Termination once a day (here's the link to it if you ever need help finding it for yourself in the future; please don't try to help me via spamming the ticket form or anything, they explicitly ask to not involve other people uninvolved in your account AND i feel bad enough doing spam once a day already; but, anyway, yes, i recommend doing what i did and having bookmarked the aforementioned link and just copy&paste my form answers into the ticket from a seperate document, like from Google Drive or something, so you don't have to retype it everytime), and i have recieved no reply nor even a confirmation e-mail. hence the lack of updates on how my account is doing. there's no other way to contact staff, except maybe via Twitter, as their support e-mail is no longer accepting messages (hopefully bc of the following they will be in contact with you sooner than they have been with me, bc i didnt know this following tip this past week i've been filling out that ticket and noW YOU DO, you lucky bastard. do what i did with a seperate document to prep in case this is a multi-day process, but hopefully you'll get farther in less time than i have bc jfc i wasn't even getting a confirmation e-mail beforehand big McYikes)

BUT!!1! a friend of mine who was terminated last year said to attach my un-terminated e-mail's account (aka the e-mail i am using right here for @/shwarmii, and not for the terminated @/shwarmi like i had been doing liKE A DUMMY APPARENTLY) to the ticket's general "Put your e-mail here" slot and to explain within "The more details, the better" part your original e-mail attached to the terminated account in addition to the rest of your explanation. and i finally got a confirmation e-mail that my ticket has been recieved! yes, it was just an automated response but yay! finally!! progress!!1! i at least got a fUCKING CONFIRMATION E-MAIL, HAHA, VICTORY!

god i fucking wish i knew about the "just dont use your e-mail linked to your terminated account" tip a week ago jfc on a hot dog stick, my guys, finally, a confirmation e-mail, gahhh

since i now have a confirmation e-mail, i will wait five buisness days (so today is the 8th and a Monday, therefore, i'll wait until Saturday which is the 12th except i said "business days" ergoooo Monday the 14th) to e-mail them again. i hate waiting tho ughhh like, fine, i'll do what i gotta do but also ugghhhhh

↳ additional note: this update/edit was made on 8 August 2023. @/shwarmi has been terminated since 31 July 2023 (or 30 July 2023, and i just was too exhausted to make the account/post until the 31st. i forget. i was in the middle of moving and im disabled, so i was over-exerting myself big-time. i had processed that my account had been terminated at the time and just responded by taking a nap lmao rip but yeah, therefore, it's all been a blur)

NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. COOL. (Narrator: It was not, in fact, "cool".) I WAITED AS PLANNED (this update is being written on 14 August 2023) AND STILL NO FOLLOW-UP TO MY CONFIRMATION TICKET. HATE THAT FOR ME.

instead of sending in a new ticket as i originally planned, i replied to their confirmation email since it said i could do that (for permalinks or whatever) so that they will HOPEFULLY get back to me without me having to be a pest about their automated systems, ugh.. (i have cropped out my email and the Ticket Number(? i assume that's what that string if letters and numbers are anyway) for privacy reasons, but here is what the confirmation e-mail looks like and how i replied. i am including this mostly to help out anyone who may be terminated in the future have an idea of what to expect and an expectation of "OH, okay, so i can reply to THIS email-address, got it" kind of nonsense or whatever. why not lmao)

i will wait another five buisness days, so that'll be on the 21st of August 2023. hopefully, i will update with good news before then (aka: they'll haVE REPLIED MAYBE PLS PLS PLS) but i guess i will have to be annoying if not

it is the 20th (so they have one more day before i have to be annoying anD I DONT WANNA BE.. pls send me ideas of how to be annoying that doesnt include the Hateful Xitter pls, my only idea is to DM them there and i dON'T WANNA) and even my gmail thinks the lack of response is fucked up lmao rip

having a Bad Brain Day streak rn due to my (abusive) dad's failing health and unpacking and all this other shit i have to do post-moving like switching my insurance and renewing my liscence and fuck all, so bothering tumblr about not replying to me is gonna take a bit more of a backseat for a minute, hold on

it.. is now August 30. brain still in gutter, but i forced myself to make a xitter/twitter (don't follow, ill delete the account after they help me or not). and it wouldnt let me dm, so i had to just @ them and post. brain so sad that i cannot even be amused rn that @/shwarmi on there was taken by a shwarma restaurant. @/tumblrsupport's Replies tab shows signs of helping people as recently as 2 hrs ago, but idk if there's another queue here. i guess we'll find out?? i just want my accounts with all their posts and shit back pls, this has taken so long to try to do 💔

edit: if you're curious, it is 3 Sept 2023 and i am still waiting (it looks like they are looking at people who @'ed them on Sept 1 rn and iM LIKE "PLSSSS, I @'ED YOU ON THE 30TH OF AUGUST PLSSSSSSS", gonna give them until the 5th before i tweet again i guess 🥺)

i am not god's strongest soldier. i continue to cry out for help, alas, i have yet to receive an answer

it does not help that the twitter account sometimes says to people: "What is your Tumblr URL? We can check and see if there was a glitch of some sort. But be advised that if it is a TOS violation situation or a bigger tech issue, we cannot assist/reply on Twitter" so that doesnt make me panic aT ALL that maybe i broke TOS without any form of a warning or knowledge that i wasnt following tumblr's terms of services regarding things like nsfw and whatnot (narrator: they were panicking)

i hate it here. staff should at least be able to tell me (via email, if not twitter) that i wont be getting my account back or whatever else instead of just saying NOTHING??????

going to do all this again (tweet support, make a whole new ticket (i still have the info saved thankfully), reply to my old email confirmation) on September 27th (an arbitrary date based on I Have A Lot Going On Rn) if they continue to not reply. if i hit the 30 images limit, guess ill be reblogging and adding even MORE to this thread jfc juST TALK TO MEE!!!1!

[jokerlennon]

tumblr isnt letting me post my musings about how nicky would fare if he was gallifreyan sooo im retyping it and praying. im thinking part of the Problem Loom Generation and joined house paradox early on - except i cant remember how that worked and the book of the war is unnavigable so im going to hope that they were actually recruiting people from other houses . he can start out as a cia agent as a treat but normal nicky is obviously in it for the intrigue and glamour not out of a love for his country and as such i truly don't think he'd give too many shits about the web of time either he sees the weird goth guy calling himself grandfather paradox experiment with rituals and bones and goes well that seems more exciting and fucks the fuck off. also he'd make a terrible conceptual entity can you fucking imagine

[busycloudy]

did Tumblr eat my ask lol? I'll retype it now if so

🖕🖕

🖕🖕

🖕🍃fuck leaves I just stepped on one it was so crunch 🍂

🖕🍁

I hope a tree falls on you and then you get caught in a wildfire and I watch from a safe distance as I make out with Lilia 🖕

NOOOO

Whyyyyy

WHAT DID I DO IM SO SRRY???

[irllegosi]

Vent post bc I need to vocalize (typalize??) my thoughts and feelings; ignore if you want

So someone I consider to be a really close friend of mine just unfollowed me on Tiktok. I know that it isn't the worst thing in the world, but my brain / anxiety loves overthinking literally anything and everything negative that happens to me and my brain is just screaming at me like "he fucking hates you and ur reposting too much stupid shit and / or reposting things he doesnt agree with" [pretend that's in all caps I don't want to retype it] which isn't entirely untrue bc like half a year ago(??) whenever the One Piece Live Action show came out I was reblogging the absolute fuck out of every one piece art thing I saw on my feed and I just assumed that's why he unfollowed me on here, which I still overthought but mainly understood bc it would clog up his feed. But tiktok isn't tumblr and reposts don't necessarily take up as much of your fyp, like unless he's on his following page exclusively, I don't really see it as a problem

Idk I'm think im just going to give him the same benefit of the doubt I did with the tumblr unfollow bc his 18th birthday is in a month and I already planned on getting him something so I'll just keep my hopes up unless he straight tells me to my face "i do not like you, fuck off" or something but ppl I know are notoriously dogshit at telling me if they have a problem with me and are really vague about not wanting to talk to me / be my friend anymore (I might make a vent post about a specific person that did that in the near future hehe)

Ok end of vent heres a funny tiktok screenshot as a reward 🤑

[boxofbonesfic]

I'm so sorry to hear that :( I hope the universe rewards you tenfold for having to deal with this. 💖

I was so moved by your fic that when I sent the ask, I took a screenshot because I wanted to remember my feelings in that moment LOL! I'll retype what I wrote originally but it cuts off at the bottom so I'm not 100% sure what else I wrote and I'll just freestyle some extra thoughts <3 Written at 4:33 am December 25th (LMAO):

"hello!!!! 🩷🩷🩷 i am writing this message feeling so vulnerable and raw at 4:30 am because i was reading ur rockstar!bucky fic the devil between us and wowwwww... when i say im crying, i mean I'm literally crying!!!!!!!!! the way you tell stories is fucking incredible from the plot to the pacing to the dialogue to the FEELINGS!!! i am so in awe of your talent and i feel like i just walked into a movie that changed my life. this fic is so fucking beautiful and painful and vivid and i'm feeling it everywhere and i am hopefully going to go to sleep now and dream about it bc !!!! it's bone deep for me right now. Thank you for your art!!! And marry Christmas if you celebrate ❤️❤️❤️ the present i'm giving myself this year is believing that those three got their happy ending 🥹"

And that's where it cuts off!! Looking back, I could have been way more specific. I think your world building for that fic is a stroke of genius. It was so visceral for me. The way you wrote Bucky's grief and his desire to just completely disengage with the world as he knew it gave me such an epiphany. I honestly started crying because his feelings were so powerful and overwhelming. Reader's helplessness made me emotional, too, because I've been there - watching somebody abandon themselves and knowing you can only do so much. And I've also been that person running away myself. I felt this crazy gratitude for the moment I was in, getting to read your fic, and Bucky's grief was so real to me that I was honestly also grateful I haven't experienced his pain. Sweet iris, reader's strength, the small town vibes, the washed up rockstar, the slow burn, the tension, Bucky's negative self-talk, the family that is and could have been... it made me feel the full spectrum of human emotion. Their love was so real and palpable and the history between them that you felt in every scene was disarming. It was so healing for me and I hope they ended up healing, too. God, I just love the fic and think you're amazing ❤️ anyways I think i've blabbed on long enough!!! Love you bones have a good day <3

i don’t even know where to begin—there’s a lot of like, very real pain in that fic from all angles, and it really means a lot to me that some of the people reading it can feel what i’m going through when i work on it. it’s one of the things i’ve got sitting on my harddrive that makes me feel the rawest, to be honest.

and there’s just something so like, real, about hurting people and knowing you’re doing it but having absolutely no control over that. i feel like i’ve been the reader, i’ve been bucky, and i’ve been steve, and sometimes that makes it both really cathartic and also sometimes very sad to write 😅

anyway this ask made me cry, thanks

[cant-think-of-a-good-one]

i love binge watching/reading art tutorials without applying them as if im doing anything useful

...

qwq

...

gosh i need to start learning art again

but somehow i keep procrastinating

ugh

I of all people should know. i went through this before but with coding.

i know coding and art is quite different, but i remember just binge watching coding tutorials for hours on end, not doing anything. it was when i followed coding train's tutorials and actually fucked around that i got better at it.

why is starting so hard

i guess theres also the fact that with code you can just retype it exactly but with art every subtle hand movement contributes to the stroke's appearance. its almost like if i wanted to code but i havent touched a keyboard in my life.

GUH okay this is turning into a vent post i guess ill let it all out

why cant i be smol me, not giving a care in the world about how my art looks and just fuck around.

it was like, elementary school when i started thinking hmm this looks bad and cry and give up.

of course a few years later i then got a sudden burst of motivation and even asked my parents to buy a drawing tablet. and they did !! then a short time passes and i give up again. my mental stability at that time didnt help.

that was at least 5 years ago. my intuos comic has been mostly collecting dust. sometimes i try to use a lil but they didnt last.

i only started using it more late summer last year. finally found drawabox which i think is very nice. but i started doing a youtube project in november and it halted my momentum completely.

so, yeah

i hope i can consistently do it this year ;w;

good night

[stupid-o-clock]

P sent another message last night and then left the gc again. just as my gf calmed down again lol. ffs. this is all copy pasted from my best friend's dm, i don't wanna retype it bc it'd be word for word anyway.

her exact words to me losing my gran, "I hope your mum and you are okay" "I sorry for ur loss" im not mad about this, i didnt ask for anything more so- fair enough.

when did i have the chance to speak if shes always leaving the gc and blocked me on everything + she saw my msg where i said "best not talk bc im pissed at her for many things". u can put two and two togetehr mate do u WANT a fight? the only reason i havent started one is bc i dont want to stress my gf any further bruh

xiya genuinely doenst know how to comfort ppl, they dont know how to comfort me on my small issues nvm someones girlfriend dying r u insane. u never asked to eb distracted or anything, maybe she did but xiya felt it was betetr to leave them alone since theyve already hurt her. if u wanted to be distracted so bad say so if they know xiya so well they know xiya wont start anything bc they wait for approval

so what if i dealt with a loss?? lol it isnt the same?? we r diff ppl also i give like 0.5 of a fuck about my gran vs her loving her gf to bits. it is not the same. i didnt even cry over my gran, nothing in my life has changed. it feels weird not hearing her snore and stuff and the house has a weird silence but thats literally it

people deal with loss differently lol

when has she been there for us- idk ab the others cuz i cant see their dms and i dont really read the convos i miss but all i get is my msgs being ignored Lol

[skenpiel]

if you live through this, youll end up in hell

[yunriel]

signora's battle themes are fucking amazing and im a bit Salty we didn't see more of her before the end of the archon quest

[calware]

.

[zeawesomebirdie]

Guys. I just bought like 15(ish) kylux prints and. Im so hyped. I already have four gingersnappish prints that are absolutely gorgeous that I fully intend to hang up whenever I happen to paint my walls, but like. I need to get one of those portfolio book thingies for prints now bc there's no way I'm going to be able to chose which prints to hang and which to keep in storage (read: keep somewhere safe to look at whenever I happen to need inspiration) But like omg. I also got the gingersnappish stickers I really wanted, im so excited!! Stickers are so fun!! Not adult me, slowly turning into the fandom trash that teenager me always wanted to be or anything lmao