#hopeless filmmaker

[moonyloony28]

born to be a writer forced to not be able to express myself through words

[incoherent-orca]

💭

🐳

[a-hopeless-romantic18]

Attract me

“Let me photograph you in this light in case it is the last time…” ~ Adele

[situationalirony13]

spoiler warning for monkey man?

i'm probably never going to be able to stop talking about monkey man but let's just start with the ending.

Characters who can't outlive their narrative destroy me. But here's the thing – I think traditionally we do a poor job conveying the point of the trope. It'll read more like this character, who's only ever wanted to accomplish one thing, dies immediately after they accomplish it – and what's left is a story with a character-sized hole in it. It feels mostly like despair and hopelessness because it feels like the character never got to experience peace. The character, so wrapped up in anger, fear, sadness, etc – never experiences just being on the other side of this chasm they built for themselves.

There's a critical difference between characters who can't outlive their narrative and characters who won't. Characters who won't outlive their narrative can still have dreams, plans – the heartbreak is real because they saw a life for themselves on the other side and they'll never get to experience it. But most of the time we treat characters who can't outlive their narrative in the same way, and filmmakers trust that we as the audience suspend our disbelief and hope for the characters to have an epilogue.

Bobby/Kid/Dev Patel never had plans for what's next. We saw barely-there flashes of who he must be outside of his avenging mission, enough to cobble together this idea that yes, he deserves so much more. But it was evident from the first second of this film that there was nothing waiting for him on the other side. Bobby/Kid/Dev Patel could have never survived the narrative. There was no reality of an after for him after he avenged his mother – no practical way for him to build a new life. But in those last seconds, when he turned to the mural depicting the carnage of Hanuman and he had the far-away thought that it was over, we saw Dev Patel channel this relief in this doomed character.

We as an audience exhale with the character, we feel the release from his duty the same way he does.

He falls, the camera follows his center of gravity, and the screen cuts to black. The narrative begins and ends with him. He begins and ends with this narrative.

[loveemagicpeace]

🧜🏼‍♀️Poetic Neptune🩵

Part 2

🦋Neptune in 8th house- Neptune Giving your all in a close relationship can bring the spiritual or emotional connection you seek with a partner. But it can also mean making sacrifices or feeling vulnerable. Here you can seek your escape in intimacy or in control. You can have a wild fantasy about the perfect deep relationship, but it never really happens. A Neptune in the eighth house in the natal chart can indicate trust issues. Generally speaking, heavy placements in the eighth house indicate traumatizing experiences, betrayal, loss of trust you put in others. This can be a very painful placement. This house shows financial gain through other people: for example, your spouse or inheritance

🎸Neptune in 9th house-Neptunes here have a lot of imagination in terms of travel, the world and life. You can have your own religion that you believe in, or you can believe in things that others don't. Along with this is also a hopeless optimism that often carries the person through the darkest nights with the light of faith, optimism, and belief. You can travel a lot to places by the sea. And it's also one of your favorite holidays. The gifts of Neptune here could be found through their ability to intuit the future; they can be something of a prophet and have the ability to read meaning in the lives of others. Neptune here suggests a gift for spiritual vision or for intuiting future trends. Travel might invoke a longing for a paradise island.

🥂Neptune in 10th house-you can manifest your career. A lot depends on what you believe in and what you want to be. People may see you as a mystical, dreamy person, or they may not be able to clearly define you. You have an intuitive understanding of how the public feels. You are in tune with the collective mood, what can be an advantage when it comes to career. Here neptune can also mean that one of the parents is not present. A career in the arts might appeal or something that allows you to use and develop your imagination and put your imaginative gifts or show to the world.

🧁Neptune in 11th house- you can manifest success on your social networks. Many of your dreams can come true. Neptune gives you the illusion that you start things without fear and usually people find you as a spiritual person or you share something related to spirituality or art on social networks. You are very kind and want to help people with what you do. You want people to feel comfortable when they come to your profile. But you can attract a lot of friends who are secretly jealous of you or don't like you (but it doesn't show from the outside). When you feel that others don’t like you, it bothers you deeply. Neptune shows where you seek the ideal and perfection. That's why you often look at things as perfect, and that's why you're often not completely satisfied.

🩷Neptune in 12th house-Neptune is here in his house, which means that he can unknowingly help you find your spiritual path. They may excel in artistic fields like writing, poetry, painting, music, photography, filmmaking, or any form of creative expression. These people are very creative and imaginative, but this shows more in their work and not in their personality. When you get to know them, I wouldn't say that they are so artistic, but they show it through the things that, for example, musicians deal with (many times I notice that they have a special album look, which they usually invent themselves). They also have a lot of drawing skills. But these people are usually not spiritual or believe in it. But there is a possibility that they become addicted to drugs or other substances. And many times they have very interesting, confusing dreams that are difficult to understand.

-Rebekah🦋🫧🩵

[clearlyclairesblog]

* on the drivers' parade truck *

Lando, whispering: Max! Max, come here!

Max: * gets closer *

Lando: Mate, why is there a twenty seconds-long close-up video of Charles' hands? This was supposed to go straight to McLaren!

Max, visibly confused: What? Let me see.

Lando: * shows him the video *

Max:

Lando:

Max, scratching his head: Ugh.. Can we just, uhm, delete it?

Charles, approaching the two from behind: What are you guys whispering about?

Lando: Your boyfriend can't keep his eyes off of you apparently and now I have to either delete this segment from the video or explain it somehow!

Charles, looking at the video: That's very good actually! You're a good filmmaker, babe.

Lando: Charles! Lower your voice!

Max: See, Lando? But it's all thanks to you schat, your hands are good!

Lando: Guys, the cameras!

Charles, extremely flirtatious: Oh, and do you want to know what these hands can do?

Pierre, appearing out of nowhere with an extremely high-pitched tone: Steering and shifting gears of course! You're definitely one of the best at that!

Charles, looking confused: Pierre, what-

Max, realizing: But I'm better, of course! Did you catch that, Sky Sport?

* Sky Sport cameramen walking away*

Max: Shit, that was close. Thanks Pierre!

Charles: Really Pierre, you saved us there!

Pierre: I swear you'll have to pay me some day..

Lando: Excuse me? I was trying to warn you the whole time!

Pierre: But what exactly triggered the whole flirting-in-public thing?

Lando, handinhg him the camera: Remember Max filming us earlier?

Pierre, watching the video: Oh my God, you guys are hopeless.

Lando, looking at Pierre: Do you think-

Pierre, eyes lightning up: Oh, definitely!

Lando: Number 12?

Pierre: Yes!

Lando, whispering: LESTAPPEN RELATIONSHIP RULE N.12 : No talking to each other during the drivers' parade unless there are other drivers around who can save your ass.

Max: That's a bit extreme, we weren't even-

Cameraman: Charles, il video lo cancello, però stai attento! (Charles, I'm going to delete the video, but you be careful!)

Charles: Grazie Tommy, ti devo un favore (Thank you Tommy, I owe you a favor)

Max: Let me guess, he caught us on camera?

Charles, nodding: But he's deleting it. I know the guy from Maranello thankfully!

Lando: Were you saying, Max?

Max: I -

Charles: Maybe we need that rule.

Lando: Oh! And you still need to help me with the footage for McLaren!

Max: Yeah, we definitely do.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

S.R. Series Recs (Completed Works)

Hey friends! I’m back with another fic rec list for Completed Series! If you have any other recommendations not included here (including your own work), please send me a DM! I would love to add it.

SFW S.R. Series

Valkyrie by @illegalcerebral: Unsub!Reader. You live two lives, one where you protect and serve and one where you hunt. You have always had control over the two sides until the BAU are brought to your doorstep.

Shifting Narrative by @/illegalcerebral: The BAU are called in on a case. Complicating matters is a tenacious filmmaker making a documentary on the case and Reid’s residual emotional trauma from being in prison.

Flight Risk by @brywrites: In which a pilot and a profiler become closer than originally planned when Reid finally meets one of the elusive individuals flying the BAU jet.

NSFW Series Below...

NSFW S.R. Series

Here to Misbehave by me: Spencer meets a girl he can’t get enough of at the nightclub, then quickly realizes she is not supposed to be there.

Phoenix by me: Spencer Reid had a secret, and now you have a funeral to attend… and your own secret to keep. Or not. Rewrite of the Emily/Doyle arc with Spencer taking Emily’s place.

Lily of the Valley by me: Unsub!Reid. Spencer was found guilty but mentally ill after the torture and murder of several men. He finds solace in his psychiatrist at the institution.

26 Things by @foxy-eva: Spencer Reid is determined to help his girlfriend check off everything left on her bucket list - even the explicit parts.

Pretty Please by @mercy-burning: Reader hears something surprising from her next door neighbor, and it throws her off.

January 16 by @aperrywilliams: Reader and Spencer Reid share the most intimate part of their lives through the years around a fateful date.

Virginia Kisses by @twentysomethingloser92: Every single time Spencer and Reader kiss.

The Most Natural Thing in the World by @dontshootmespence: An experienced Dom and a Virgin meet in a bar. Can he introduce her to a world she’s always imagined but never known before? Sequel.

Lock and Key by @/brywrites: Prison is a tough place to find hope in. But when Spencer Reid stumbles upon a GED class, the teacher makes him think it might not be so hopeless after all.

Say Something by @fortheloveofwonderland: In which Spencer and Reader are in a toxic relationship trying to navigate through the intrepid waters of love in a depressive state.

Losing So Much Time by @/fortheloveofwonderland: Fifteen years is a long time to be in love with someone you only see once a year. But when you live on opposite ends of the country and once a year is all you get you just have to try and make the most of the time you get.

Teach Me Something by @homoose: Spencer meets Michael’s kindergarten teacher and finds he still has so much left to learn.

Thanks, everyone! Happy Reading!

[sidneyb16]

Portwell headcanons I think about daily (Rina stans DNI, respectfully 😁)

They love all kinds of Italian food, not just risotto (spaghetti, pizza, lasagna, tirmasu, garlic bread, rigatoni, gnocchi, etc.

Gina’s favorite artists are Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande and Sabrina Carpenter, EJ's favorite artists are Taylor Swift, Mac Miller and Harry Styles

One thing EJ knew about Gina since the day they met was that she's a hopeless romantic so he makes every day feel like Valentines Day for her with bouquets of flowers, her favorite chocolates and romcoms, giant stuffed animals, love letters, hoodies and t shirts sprayed with his cologne, plans the most thoughtful dates and puts so much effort into everything he does for her (did I mention that I like to think that EJ is verrrry rich?)

EJ and Gina celebrate Christmas in July every single year

EJ had purchased VIP Suite tickets to The Eras Tour for him, Gina and their friends, having tons of food, drinks and decorations

Gina owns her own dance studio in Los Angeles which doubles as a bakery, and all of her students squeal and giggle and cover their eyes whenever EJ gives her a kiss as he drops her off.

They plan on filming and producing their own romcom called "Love & Risotto"

They wanna get married in New York at Christmas time and have their honeymoon in Lake Como, Italy.

EJ proposes to Gina on Valentine’s Day at her dance studio and planned an engagement party with all of their friends and family at their house

EJ got Gina a puppy for their 1 year anniversary and their named her Paris after one of Gina’s favorite cities

They went to the same college after high school, EJ studied filmmaking, Gina studied dance, EJ joined the college basketball team and Gina became captain of the collegiate dance team

EJ secretly planned to get him and Gina matching rings with their color and anniversary engraved for Valentine’s Day.

That same day, EJ planned a date at the newest Italian restaurant

[ezrazone]

Didn't know you were that much into cinema. I'm trying to watch more movies and step out of my comfort zone and maaaybe thinking about learning how to make films I guess?

If it isn't too much of a bother, would you mind sharing some tips getting into/studying cinema as an art form, please?

HMMM i would recommend watching movies that you like!!!! lol i think apps like letterboxd are really excellent for easily finding an saving movies related to ones you already know you enjoy (like building your watchlist by director, by cinematographer… finding diff adaptations from the same original writer, or just getting curious about new countries of origin, different film eras and movements, etc etc). as long as you don’t get caught up in the social media posturing though it’s always tempting when you know other people are looking. i think a little bit of that is fine if it doesn’t make you crazy and there are ways to de-crazy your experience at any time lol.

finding stuff you like is a skill in and of itself; learning to identify what is exciting about a project and where to find more of it is a lifetime practice.

one place to start: solidarity cinema is a gigantic free library with some great curation if you’re starting to shake free of only watching what dads are nostalgic about and studios are peddling for and bloggers are blogging about. the world is big!!!!!! cinema is big!!!!

i don’t think anything separates a study of cinema from a love of cinema. it’s really self-directed lol. i studied film at uni but didn’t feel the world of movies open up to me until i became physically disabled in my 20s and just started literally watching more movies.

re: filmmaking reccs, my fav book on actually working in film is the ultimate american film school classic on filmmaking by alexander mackendrick. it’s the kind of book that might make you feel completely hopeless and stifled when you aren’t ready to make movies and can become thrilling and insightful when you are. it’s been such a living document for me throughout my life (just like making comics by scott mccloud) and changes its shape pretty dramatically depending on how i feel about my art and my life.

i would say though that the primary ingredient for any artist is pointing your camera (or whatever your tool is) at whatever you believe is important to express something about. and to try to do so in a way that is enjoyable and does not hurt your collaborators or your community. like, that’s kind of it. the rest is whatever you learn from doing that.

[mosneakers]

i love your story soooo much but i definitely started reading... a bit late haha. do you have a plot recap of any kind? or a family tree? sometimes i try to pick things up on context clues and end up totally wrong

omg yeah so no worries most readers actually started late! My stories and lore are super extensive and there's only a select few who've been around since the very beginning, because it would take a super long time to read everything, so I'm always happy to support you with wherever you'd like to hop in and start your journey!

Again the lore is extensive, but here is a Darling family tree you can click through to visualize all the generations Darling family members My masterpost is a good landing page for getting an idea of where to begin. I plan on updating that after this season is over, but it's still very helpful 😊

If I can try to sum it up the best I can, essentially:

Every Darling generation is part of a magical legacy that must choose an heir to pick a ghost to resurrect from the dead, that will carry on the legacy with them. However, there's always been talk amongst the family, a legend if you will, of a family curse tied to love. So as you can imagine, while each generation works so hard to find their happily ever after, each time it seems to get more and more complicated. Coraleye Darling is the youngest of generation 4, and the first female heir. It was going to be her brother, Sunglo, but he didn't have what it takes. Coraleye is a hopeless romantic family sim who wears her heart on her sleeve and can come across as very naive in most cases. Coraleye entered a mutually beneficial marriage with resurrected sim and lifelong family friend Mira Salas (now Mira Darling) to not only fulfill the legacy rules, but to appease Mira's power-hungry vampire mother, Tatiana Salas, who has recently been elected president of the United Worlds of Simerica. Mira also recently entered a second marriage with Coraleye's distant cousin lesser-known actress, and most extra (see family tree) Starling Sparrow (now Starling Darling) While all this was happening, Coraleye was attending university in Britechester, and slowly falling in love with the one and only Tycho Curious, roommate and best friend of her brother, Sunglo. During their time at Britechester, Coraleye, formed a tight knit group of friends who had pretty much become main characters in the story. Tycho simultaneously had his own story being interwoven into the legacy, throwing a wrench into everything. He was in love with Coraleye from the very moment he saw her, so he kept his alien identity hidden from his friends (except for form alien girlfriend Coni Breeder) and everytime he gathered the courage to tell her, he'd backtrack and erase her memory, continuing the facade. As the season comes to a close, the group has slowly but surely fallen apart, with a dramatic ending delivered in a documentary format by filmmakers Alex Hart and Cameron Rai.

There are of course many other cousins, siblings, spares, and side characters, all who have in-depth personalities and thoughts as well, but this is the main gist. I am totally open (and eagerly encourage!) questions and dialogue if you'd like more in depth answers on specific topics or characters. There's a whole universe out there to explore so the inbox is always open please make good use of it ♥

[marcelinethevampirequeer]

Personally the worst part about ofmd cancellation is that as a queer filmmaker I feel so hopeless. This was a show with massive success and high viewing rates. We thought that's all they wanted, but it wasn't enough. Like, as a lesbian, seeing how not even a men based hugely succesful story thrives as much as mediocre, white, straight media, is really disheartening

[a-hopeless-romantic18]

Only time will tell...

...if we are one for each other.

[legallybrunettedotcom]

hello, i hope that you are good and not to bother with this ask! i was wondering about the role of the filmmaker (this artistic career in particular just because cinema is the art form i prefer) in the world we live in today. i remember reading one year ago that xavier dolan had decided to retire because “the world is on fire” and reading today that he’s working on his next movie. i know art can be a protest, a wake up call, a testimony of what happens or even a reminder of everything worthy of notice in the world. but at the end of the day is it just our ego that pushes us to make a movie? don’t we all want to make a tangible difference for the good in the world? i hope i explained myself, and this is in no way an attack, i just wanted to know your opinion since i think we share a sincere love for cinema

bye <3

Hi! It's not a bother at all, I love this. I often find myself thinking about this as well. What is an artist's true motivation behind art? I think we can hear them say many words, but ultimately will never know what is at its very core. Why do we even share art with others? If it's such a solitary and intimate act and experience and we are "doing it for ourselves" why not just make it and never share it? I think social media and capitalism has made these intentions muddied and conversations complex. I think because it seems like everything is about profit that we have become a bit cynical about art and artists. Is art a monologue or a dialogue? Are we truly having a conversation?

When Xavier Dolan made that retirement statement, I understood what he was feeling, making a film does seem insignificant. Millions and millions of dollars are invested in making of a film and it often results in something that isn't very good. I think "times like these" or "world today" to signify bleakness and hopelessness of the world isn't something that really exists. Life and world have always been wrecked with turbulence and tragedy, but you, me, are getting older, more informed, more caring and the more you care the greater the fear, one that you have to fight to not give into.

He said about his new project that “It feels removed from my life and what I know but on re-reading it, I understood that it is a film about the fear of failure, the fear of being rejected, of being misunderstood, the difficulty of creating." He made his first film when he was 19 and he did so much in span of like 10 years, and was lauded as this kid genius, Cannes prizes left and right, but also criticism which is inevitable if you're in the filmmaking business. It comes with the territory and is something you have to accept, but of course it's a difficult thing to be like "yeah, fine, it's great how you just talked shit about my movie." Clearly it took a toll on him and he decided to back out.

If I remember correctly in his retirement statement/interview he was pretty vocal about his filmmaking insecurities, lack of success, is anyone going to see this? will they like it? etc etc which brings up the topic of success and ambition. Being ambitious and wanting to be successful aren't inherently bad things, but we cannot ignore how capitalism is shaping these two, re-defining them, the images of success it evokes.

His statement was also political. Is all art political? I don't know, but I know politics influence many areas of life. Through film we are exposed to so many different experiences and have the opportunity and choice to emphatize. Some of those films carry humanity's greatest tragedies and suffering. I don't think we can draw a clear line between a film and a larger societal change, like drawing a line from A to B to C and so on. It's a drop in the ocean, the wave. We are all part of history, of a specific reality, culture etc. that we can't detach ourselves from. Are there films that are revolutionary and ground-breaking? Of course, but they don't exist in a vacuum.

The question of is it just ego that pushes someone to make a movie is, I think, something that we'll never get an answer to, I doubt anyone will admit to that outloud. And even if they did someone can appear to fiercely and loudly fight you saying "it was never about me."

Why do you make the things you make? I feel like very few people go into a creative endeavour with a clear motivation. There are some noble and profound intentions, but a thread of irrationality is always present.

I think this is always an interesting topic, but ultimately one without a clear answer. It's something that we can dissect to the point of absurdity. It's a conversation that we should have, that is fun to have, but also "meaningless". From the beginning of time we can tell humans love stories and we can philosophize and analyze all we want, but, if I can be sentimental, I am just so glad we have soooo much art out there and I am so glad humans decided to invent movies and I hope we never stop making them!

Feel free to share more of your thoughts!

[generositygullet]

A letter to Akira Toriyama

Dear Akira Toriyama,

I first interacted with dragonball when I was in 6th grade or so, when I started playing dragon ball fusions for the 3ds since the trailer looked cool. Kind of a weird start right? But I was getting really into anime at the time, and wanted to check out one of the most popular ones. I had NO idea who the characters were, and had NO clue what the story was about. But for some reason against all the odds, as soon as I saw the title screen boot up with that soaring music I was hooked. The game was super fun, no doubt about it. But what REALLY kept me going when playing it, was the world of dragon ball itself.

Again I had no clue who any of these people were. But seeing these characters interact with each other, seeing these different setpieces made, seeing all of these powers and personalities, it was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. It channeled the raw kid desire in me to see two buff dudes duking it out, and god I adored every bit of it.

I didn't dig any deeper than that initially, and like all my other hyperfixations it died down. But again in 7th grade I started playing fighterz, and I was hooked again. But this time I dug deeper in preparation for the release of the new GT dlc, and so the first dragon ball media I actually watched? Was GT. Which is hilarious in hindsight, but I still adored every second of it.

In 8th grade things were not going so well for me, I was losing friends due to being an asshole, and I had to change myself to be worthy of the people around me. I was pretty depressed, and everything seemed sad and hopeless (I know it's pretty dramatic for a literal like 13 year old but bear with me lmao). It's around that time when I decided to watch Dragon Ball Super. And again, I was hooked. I binged it so fast, all 130 something episodes. I could talk big about the characters and everything, but honestly it was just so plain cool. It made me feel excited and happy, it made me feel like everything was ok. And those positive feelings made that much of a difference in me.

From that point on I always was interested in Dragon Ball. my first and only hyperfixation to never really go away. I read the OG dragonball, and started REALLY noticing your artistic talent. From the way you drew Goku moving across the battlefield and the poses he struck. To the illustrations of the action and the punches thrown. It was all so dynamic and energetic. When I was reading it I was always engaged, excited to see the next panel. I wanted to channel the same energy in my own art somehow, to encapsulate the same excitement you instilled in me with your drawings.

I FINALLY got around to watching and reading Z a little later. And of course I loved it. I knew all the basic plot beats, and had a 3 in one Goku vs Vegeta volume collection that I would reread constantly. But seeing them play it is so different. I also started to admire your character design more and more. Trying to draw them in my free time, and getting a bit sad when I couldn't capture the same magic you could.

All of this, of course, was older material though. This was all before my time, I was never there to experience it when it initially happened. Not for super, not for the OG DB, and not for Z. I adored it all, but I always knew what was going to happen.

I remember the reaction on my face when the news of DBS Superhero dropped. I was so so SO excited. More than you could ever imagine. Something new, something I could see with my own eyes, and something about Piccolo and Gohan??? It was amazing. And seeing it in theaters a few years later? God I was on the edge of my seat the entire film. I even started reading the DBS manga, I think it's amazing so far.

When I heard that you were gone yesterday night, I was crushed.

I’m a junior now. And after a long time of thinking about it, being anxious, afraid, and scared of the future. I think I want to be an artist or filmmaker. I want to bring the same energy you did to the world. I'm still trying to figure out my artstyle, and how I want to draw. I’m not great at it, but no matter what, I want to keep going. Because I want to bring a character to life, like you brought Son Goku to life and so many others as well. I want to inspire so many others like you inspired me. With your messages, you brought me happiness. You told me that simplicity was ok with Son Goku. You told me that we need to fight for what we love with Son Gohan. You told me that we should aim to be better than our predecessors with Piccolo Junior. You told me that we shouldn't let our pride consume us with Vegeta. You’ve shown me and the entire world so so much. And I hope you were proud of it. I’m

I said the world of Dragon Ball earlier, but really, it was your world Akira Toriyama. And your world changed mine forever in the best way. Thank you, for letting me dream again.

[astererer]

Another OC I forgot to post sooner 😭

Isaac (or Issy, if you’re friends with him), is a photographer and filmmaker and specialises in nighttime photography, both film and digital. Enjoys working with other people, whether as a photographer for hire at an event, or for projects with fellow artists. Family moved to Unova when he was around 12 years old. Developed an accent that’s in between Galarian and Unovan. Has always held a deep fascination with dark and ghost types despite (or perhaps because of) the negative reputations many pokemon of those types have been assigned. Looks intimidating but a hopeless romantic. Gets crushes easily but doesn’t know what to do about them. Straight edge, doesn’t drink or do drugs. Can get lonely very easily and needs to hang out with other people very often.

[denimbex1986]

'Barbie and Oppenheimer are more than just an internet meme that exploded into such virality that even the British PM (read: Tory scum) took part—it’s a triumphant return for cinema in a post-pandemic world obsessed with inflated budgets and diminishing returns. It came off the back of the live-action Little Mermaid remake, the lukewarm Indiana Jones legacy sequel, another in a long line of awful Fast and Furious movies, a pseudo-Michael Bay Transformers, and insulting multiversal escapade The Flash, which resurrected the dead with CGI. Cinema has never felt so downtrodden and hopeless, but Barbenheimer brought a semblance of optimism back… until CEOs everywhere immediately stomped it out.

Barbie is a perfect standalone movie, with a feminist story expertly weaving its way through the garish shades of pink in what is otherwise a two-hour-long advert for dolls. It sees stereotypical Barbie grow beyond the purpose of her creation to embrace her own agency, stepping into the real world to conquer the challenges of unchecked patriarchy. It’s a poignant narrative, despite the clear limitations of being a company-mandated franchise starter, but that’s ultimately what it is. Director Greta Gerwig might not be interested in sequels, but Mattel is. Going beyond that, it wants a cinematic universe for all its toys, greenlighting a Polly Pocket film, a “grounded and gritty” Hot Wheels movie, and a Spike Jonze-inspired Barney helmed by Daniel Kaluuya. The MCU and superheroes as a whole might seem to be on their way out, but we’re just swapping a sandbox of action figures for literal toys. I’m not sure which is worse.

Many declared Barbenheimer as the ‘return of cinema’ after months of expensive box office bombs. But a movie based around a ‘50s toy making $380 million in only five days was never going to send the message to CEOs that original ideas told by talented directors are what people want. Their eyes lit up with IP and dollar signs instead, the prospect of digging through their box of intellectual property to whip out the next gem overwhelming them. This is the Iron Man of the 2020s, kickstarting the next generation of cinema, and while we enjoyed the MCU in its heyday, look at where we are now. Superheroes dominate screenings, drowning out original ideas, and routinely suck the joy out of filmmaking with an abundance of green screens, needless CGI, and an overwhelming number of releases.

Oppenheimer is another piece of this puzzle. On its own, it’s an ambitious biopic about the horrors of American ingenuity in World War 2. I can’t see CEOs foaming at the mouth regarding franchise potential here, but out of spite toward Christopher Nolan, Warner Bros. placed Barbie’s release on the same day, inadvertently creating cinema history. Now, Oppenheimer joins Barbie’s legacy as a trendsetter in all the worst ways. We’re already seeing the impact of this, as Saw X has moved its release date to coincide with Paw Patrol: The Mighty Movie, aiming to recreate the word-of-mouth marketing that saw Barbie and Oppenheimer thrive in a Summer where nothing else was. But again, this misses the point. It’s more akin to watching a meme get dragged out back on the Ellen show to be beaten with three baseball bats like a long-dead horse.

CEOs and companies are seeing Barbenheimer’s resounding social media-driven success and hoping to replicate it by launching their films on the same day as tonally opposite competitors. Saw X and Paw Patrol couldn’t be more different, aside from the likelihood of them both being awful. And that’s the stickler. Barbenheimer was so much more than ‘Haha look at two very different movies!’ It was two completely different films from award-winning, beloved directors with brilliant casts and something important to say. It wasn’t just bright pink vs black and white.

People would have been excited for Barbie and Oppenheimer independent of each other—sticking them together on the same date wasn’t what ignited the match. Yet that’s what the big corps are taking from the entire situation, so expect to see far more SawPatrols in the coming years, desperately trying to convince people to watch a double bill of two awful films. Sounds really appealing, eh?

Barbenheimer was a fun break from the bleak landscape of modern cinema, but it will go down as another blow to movies as a whole. Already Paramount has sworn off all non-IP properties for animation, only committing to churning out tried and tested formulas it considers safe films, while Mattel is busy scrambling to catch up with the MCU overnight. Only it’s doing so with a dollhouse full of tat. The coming years won’t see a renaissance of cinema thanks to Barbenheimer, it will see the next step in devolving franchise slop, the endgame being burnout on an unprecedented scale.'