#hopefully you scared some other folks that night

[dollgutted]

so my tumblr front page has a lot of ghostface stuff for obvious reasons, he's obviously a big fave of mine and i follow a lot of ghostie lovin' accounts, as well as following the ghostface tag. typical stuff. but i. every time i see live action ghostface i cannot fucking help but think of that poor fucking scare actor who was dressed as ghostface at the haunt i went to last year.

important details: i am a 4'9 man and despite being a horror lover and connoisseur, i do not handle irl horror very well. that is to say, i'm chicken shit. i'm a fucking baby. i cry and hide behind my friends at haunts. i love going! don't get me wrong! i love going so much because i love being scared but also my fear reaction isn't to fight, flee, or freeze, it's to fawn n cry, baby, that's how i do it. but it's always like "wow that was fun!" after the haunt, yanno? it's scary but it's not real so it's not traumatizing or anything, it's just like, "haha man i am weak let's go again next year", whatever yanno. those details out of the way, if you know ANYTHING about haunts, you know seasoned scare actors are usually pretty good at telling who the scaredy cat is, and a lot of times, that's the easy target. some will go for the one they can tell is already fuckin tweaking lmao. and boy, is it not hard to tell with me.

so let me set the scene: it's 11PM, dark as shit, i'm dressed like a fucken slut bc i always gotta dress up for haunts, if i'm gonna cry i wanna look hot doin' it yanno. got my bunny hat on, for emotional support (doesn't everyone have a hat w/ bunny ears for emotional support?). i'm clinging to my friends shirt while they're dragging me through this corn maze. i hear something crunch behind us and instinctively cling tighter. i know something is about to happen and i'm NOT going to like whatever it is. i'm anticipating a loud noise. a scream. someone to jump out.

LO AND FUCKING BEHOLD, who other than ghostface is suddenly fucking beside me. ME. this haunt isn't super strict about invasion of personal fucking space, it's not officially no touch but most of them won't really touch you. this guy, though, oh no. he says nothing, that'd be out of character of course, but i am staring. wide eyed. just looking up at him. my friends feel me pause. they turn back. THEY START LAUGHING. THEY ARE ANTICIPATING.

i am truly frozen, i am just looking at this man when he moves to press his (obviously fake) knife into my throat, tilting my chin up a little bit with it. i cannot fucking. i cannot function. i GIGGLE. i am a grown man and i giggle like a schoolgirl who's crush just picked up their dropped pencil for them. I GIGGLED. this man tenses, he did NOT expect that reaction. my friends are fucking cackling. this scare actor has been thrown for a loop. he once more says nothing, removes the knife, stares down at me for a solid thirty seconds, and then WALKS AWAY.

GHOSTFACE SCARE ACTOR IF YOURE OUT THERE I AM SO SORRY. I DID NOT MEAN TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE I SINCERELY DID NOT BUT I LOVE GHOSTFACE PLS UNDERSTAND YOU MADE A DREAM COME TRUE THAT NIGHT AND I STILL THINK ABOUT IT A YEAR LATER I WOULD APOLOGIZE IF I COULD BUT I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT HAUNT EVER AGAIN OUT OF EMBARRASSMENT.

[sexilene]

kinda need some 80s slasher jj pleaseee!! like maybe he tries to apologize but like reader avoids him and that gets him mad!! thank you angel!

oooh! absolutely!! i literally love anything 80s you have no idea, i love talking about it!! (ignore the spelling mistakes, i'm exhausted lol)

₊ ⊹ warnings! 18+ - non con, cock warming, blood, death, violence, obsession, squirting, slight breeding kink, gun mentions, dark!jj - ₊˚⊹

"it's almost 1 in the morning jj, go away!" you whisper yell at him, lightly pushing his shoulder to get him to leave and climb back down your balcony.

"i tried to talk to you all day. you kept walkin' away from me…what's up with that?" he whisper yells back, not budging, he walks closer to the balcony window as if he's going to enter your room.

"i was about to go to sleep jj."

"nah, your light was on." he shakes his head.

"go away please!" you plead with him, hoping it is enough to just leave you alone.

"hey, you're not scared a'me? are you? cause, you don't need ta'be. i'm still the same jj."

"you killed someone!" you back away from him, placing your hand on the handle of the balcony door.

"well okay, but i apologized that day in the car and i've been trying to talk to you and apologize again, you were the one who kept avoiding me." he reasons, holding the door open with his hand.

"i accept your apology, now please go!" you whisper yell again.

"nah nah nah…you don't mean it, i need you to know that i fucked up n'i'm sorry."

"that you killed danny?"

"no, that you saw that i killed danny…look your my frie- no your my girl and i had to do somethin' cuz that asshole was just-" you put your hand up to get him to stop rambling "jj stop." but he just takes the opportunity to push past you and walk into your room.

"never saw your room before…y'like janet jackson?" he laughs softly and points to the poster on your wall and then looks over at the cassette tapes on your dresser. "…and madonna huh?"

"jayjay my parents are gonna freak if they wake up and find a boy in my room!" you grab onto his arm, trying to drag him back out.

"ya' got any dirty movies?" he diverts his attention over to your little tv on the other side of your dresser.

"seriously! beat it!" he sighs dramatically and lets you walk him back over to the balcony. "fine. see ya tomorrow then?"

"yes. yeah…you will, goodnight," you assure him, watching as he nods, satisfied with your answer he climbs back down the side of your house.

you tried you best to smile at him when you happened to cross paths or make eye contact but you just couldn't help avoiding him, i mean he did still totally freak you out. you had just about survived the day without having to talk to him but then on your way back to your house you see him leaning against his truck, parked on the side walk. you decide to just pretend you don't see him and walk right past him.

"hold it." he grabs onto your arm tightly, stopping you from walking away. "…listen, i don't know if i was a total dip for apologizing cause the whole point was t'get you to stop ignoring me, and clearly the message was not received. " he squints, obviously not very happy with you.

"i was just super busy and i had a major test to study for so thats wh-"

"no no hey, don't worry about it babydoll, i know how you can make it up t'me," he loosens his grip on your arm and gives you a charming smile, dimples showing and everything.

"o-ohkay…what did you have in mind?" you begin to relax at how his demeanor has changed, hopefully, you think.

"rented this gnarly tape n'i wanted to watch it with you. your folks home?"

"no…they don't back tonight till 3 in the morning…big dinner benefit thing, they usually get drunk and stay really late into the night…" you ramble.

"right. great. i'll drive you home."

"ohkay jayjay…thank you," you respond shyly as if you two had just met and he was asking you on a date.

"so which movie did you rent?"

"its a surprise, think you'll reaaaally like it."

"i like most movies…want anything from the kitchen? water, beer…"

"m'good, i just put the tape in, cuhmon, i'll be gentle with you." he sits down on your bed and pats his lap for you to come over and sit on. you nod slowly and sit right next to him, so he grabs your waist and scooches you over onto his lap, your ass right up against his gradually hardening bulge.

"jj…what are you doin'?" you take your eyes off the tv and look down at his hand coming to flip your skirt up and feel that you're not wearing any panties, giving him full permission to rub on your pussy.

"shshsh, just focus on the TV, princess." you ignore his actions like an idiot and figure at least he's being gentle with you and focus back on the TV, the camera in a POV angle following a guy with his hands up defensively.

"what are we watching?…" you whisper, trying to push jj's hand away from your pussy, but obviously that doesn't do anything. he smacks your hand away and goes right back to touching you.

"it's a movie i made…see there that's your ex-boyfriend, talked him into the role," he whispers back, clearly very interested in what's on the screen…and playing with your pussy. the next thing you know you watch as your ex-boyfriend gets shot in the face and then shot more times in the chest, blood going everywhere.

"ohmygod jay-!" you scream, shutting your eyes and covering your mouth with one hand, while the other tries to get his hand away from you so you can get the hell off of him. he ignores your attempt and tightly wraps his other arm around you to keep you in place.

"holyfuck you're so wet." he laughs, dipping two fingers into your embarrassingly wet cunt, the intrusion making you mewl and turn your head away from the screen and the gory mess being shown.

"nah uh, keep watching." he tuts, moving his hand away from your princess parts and over to his jeans to pull his dick out to put inside you.

"i don't want to watch this anymore! i don't wanna-"

"don't care whatcha don't wanna do, worked hard to do this for you babe…so you're gonna sit here on my cock and watch the fucking movie i made for you." he grunts, lifting you onto his dick, the stretch and fullness you feel is unreal, you have no choice but to sit there and soak his fat cock.

"no!" you cry, tears starting to gather at your waterline.

"yeah…she's likes it, she's squeezing me reaaaaal good baby. jj presses a wet kiss to your cheek and wraps his arms around you again to keep you there.

"turn it off, please! please!…"

"y'gonna quit ignorin me, cupcake?"

"uh huh…i swear just please!"

"it's almost over, keep watchin." but you just can't, squeezing your eyes shut you try to block out all the noise and just focus on not cumming on him, not wanting to give into him. yet, there's no use, cause now he's got his three fingers pressing down on your little clit, rubbing it fast and hard.

"jayjay!" you squeal, digging your nails into his arm that is around your waist, as you cum hard around his dick. when you blink your eyes open the tape has finished and you notice all the liquid sprayed on your sheets.

"oh ho…there she is, squirting on my cock like a dumb slut.” he smiles and presses a little kiss to your neck.

"not on birth control are you?" you can barely hear him over the ringing in your ears as he continues to softly rub your clit.

"yo, i'm talkin to you." he spits, slapping your cheek a few times with this big warm hand to get you to respond. a few more tears spill down your face and respond with a weak whisper. "no, m'not…m'not…"

"maybe y'should be." he grunts softly before dumping his huge warm load in you just from cock warming.

[pokemonshelterstories]

hey...im not really sure why im telling you this but i guess its because i have no one else to tell. i live in a small town, and recently a neighbor's goodra (who i usually see every day and get to pat and give treats to) went on some kind of frenzied rampage. the town had to call in some local rangers because even goodras trainer couldnt get her to calm down...i still dont know what caused it, since theyre still investigating but my neighbor got hurt in the crossfire (recovering thankfully). people and pokemon lost their homes. i was one of the lucky ones really, seeing as only part of my house got destroyed.

the support turnout has been really great and i heard goodra was safely returned to her pokeball and is being treated and studied to find the cause. the thing is, i feel so conflicted.

this goodra has never shown a hint of aggression in the years ive known her (she was a sligoo when we first met, but evolved not long after.) shes always been gentle and sweet, and caring towards everyone she meets. and i trust my neighbor has been taking good care of her. but i also was there in the middle of the night when folks dragged my neighbor out of her burning and collapsed home, and when a stray dragon rage hit my house.

i dont want to say im 'traumatized' by it, because that feels like it would be like admitting a pokemon i really cared for hurt me and my neighbors/town on purpose. and i know that cant be true. i know that goodra wouldnt have hurt a fly before that night. but i keep having nightmares about the flames and the screams. there was ash and smoke EVERYWHERE. i could barely breathe. it took all night and late into the morning to put out all the fires, and the extent of the damage was pretty severe. everyone who wasnt injured has been working hard to help others rebuild.even forest pokemon have come venturing out to help.

but i cant. i feel like if i walk outside im going to be back there again. everyone is helping except me. i was lucky i didnt get hurt. but i can barely stand to look out a window to see the destruction. im scared of my goodra friend, and that hurts worse than anything else.

i am...very sorry to hear that, but i think you need therapy. this isn't something i can help you with. it's natural to be scared of a pokemon that attacks you, even one that was friendly beforehand, and overcoming that fear takes time and professional help.

as for the goodra...i hope she's alright, and i hope your neighbor is too. unfortunately bouts of sudden rage from a normally-calm pokemon are often the result of a neurological problem. hopefully her medical checkup comes back with something treatable. this is why it's always important to be careful around these powerful pokemon no matter how friendly they are- it just takes one freak accident for people to get hurt.

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

OH! For Valentine’s event!! Please could I have some first date headcanons for Killer Croc? I’m plus size, so I hope he’s down for a chunky clown 💚 I prefer staying in more than going out, I love verbal affection and gentle physical affection, and I love horror so that’s always a Valentine’s Day plus if it can be squeezed in somewhere! And I’m goofy and silly and I like being nice! I hope that’s enough to go off of!! 💚

"Horror and Sweetness" Killer Croc x Reader (Valentine's Event 2024)

Hello Finnie!! All this detail is PERFECT, thank you so much for writing in <3 Since you said headcanons I'm gonna go more bullet point style with this to better suit the prompt- This ask is for the ongoing Valentine's Day Event! (final day to submit)

TW: suggestive toward the end

When you first asked him out, he assumed you were fucking with him. You like to joke around like he does and there's no way you'd be approaching him- except when he realized you were sincere and he's silently flustered. Then he says yes.

Chunky clown, huh? Don't you worry about that, sha, they had to make a new BMI category for him at some point. Plus sized just means you like to eat and dammit if one of his love languages isn't taking care of a partner! Especially cooking! It also shows you're cute AND soft which he really, really appreciates given how rough HE is. Good for cuddles.

You liking to stay in works well for him, especially for a first date. The idea of you trying to get to know each other in a romantic capacity and having every eye in the place staring is less than ideal. So a night in! You're gonna get a whole lot of questions about the foods you like, how much spice level you can handle, etc. etc. No shame if spice isn't your thing, he can cater to that.

He'd joke that maybe if you're real sweet on him, he can take you for beignets next time. He knows a spot that actually does 'em decent. Hm... How would you feel about being his little beignet? He might ponder this potential pet name aloud while he's cooking. Soft and fluffy and sweet- just like you!

After you finish eating (and were hopefully incredibly impressed by him), you two can sit on the couch in front of the TV. There's a huge divot in the furniture you can determine as "his side" that you can sit next to. You said you liked horror so. uh. He's gonna rent whatever you say is good. He's not typically a horror person per say, but he'll enjoy it.

Note: he will enjoy it, but he's definitely leaning in closer, it's not your imagination. "That sure is... spooky." There is one particular jump-scare that gets him just so- and his arm goes in front of you, almost as though to protect you. Even when you offer that the movie can be changed, he insists no! No, it's fine! He's just going to put his hand on yours and if you want to hold it, he's not going to complain about that.

Truthfully, he'd be very cautious about being physically affectionate at first because he doesn't know how you'll react. Hopefully positively! But... past experience has him wary. If you initiate and give him the green light, though, he'll lean into it heavily.

As the movie rolls to credits, he looks content as he speaks, "You're uh. You're not like anybody else I've ever met. And I've met a lotta different folks. Not bad- You're hot as hell and shit, wait-"

There's a moment he seems to be collecting his thoughts, "Look, you don't wanna take this further, I get it. But you should know I liked this. I like you. You're... You're a helluva lotta fun. And nice. I like how nice you are." He's scratching the back of his neck. Waiting for a response.

When you tell him that you want to keep doing this and seeing him again, his face gets a large toothy grin. Curling his claws inward to his palm, he brushes the knuckle of his finger along your jawline. He puts his forehead to yours. His lips peck yours.

In this sense, he's a gentleman. He's not going to expect sex just because you're at his place. Plus considering his whole body situation, it would be kind of rude to assume you want to jump in on that without some prep.

"But hey, cher, you wanna check under my bed for the bogeyman, you can stay the night." He winks. It's totally not lowkey because he's a little scared. If not, he'd make sure you got home whether it was driving or him walking you to your doorstep himself.

[mingos]

*crawls out of the ground like a mole, coughing up copious amounts of dirt*

so, hello.

    i try to keep things as vague & light as possible when referencing my homelife because, honestly, the last time i brought up anything tangentially related i was essentially told “you being upset is making other people upset and ruining the fun” so being anything other than ✨chaotic positivity gremlin wilder ✨ here makes me paranoid, hence why i’ll just disappear for weeks sometimes. 

but. 

i’ve clearly been gone for a bit, will probably be gone for a bit longer, and since i’ve been getting messages from folks wanting to check in on me i wanna give a more detailed update than usual. i feel guilty for not responding directly, but for reasons i can’t get detailed on other than “the idea of having a conversation with 99.9% of people right now is terrifying” (is this what being nonverbal is, chat?) with even the .1% being a super recent development, a queue post into the void is my solution.

i won’t get that detailed, but if light references to domestic abuse, addiction, or just family issues in general are hard subjects for you - nothing past this paragraph is too pertinent anyway, so don’t worry about having to stop. all you gotta know is that some Bad Stuff with family happened, but i’m safe & i’ll be back in maybe another week or something. 

anyways. i was living out of hotels for about 3 weeks. 

more like 16-17 days if you want to get technical because 4 of those days i had an actual scheduled hotel for my twin’s wedding at the end of august - but i’ve basically been bouncing around since august 21st. the night of the 20th, i had a horrific fight with my family member and, for the first time ever, i left. don’t know if would call it brave on my part - since we were leaving for a trip anyway, this is just the first time my suitcase was already packed.

right now, i’ve been at another relative’s house since the 11th. i tried to go back on the 1st because, even after years of this, i’m apparently way too easy to convince everything is going to be fine…  but by the 2nd i was out of there again. 

currently mulling over my next move here because, as much as the common sense answer is to stay away, anybody who’s unfortunate enough to deal with this knows how complicated it is. i’m scared for this person’s safety as much as i am for my own. no one else really checks on them, and i’ve already had to deal with several medical emergencies they’ve had like bad falls & breathing problems. i don’t like leaving them alone for long because the guilt at the thought of something bad happening to them and no one knowing for possibly days or weeks eats me up.

i logically know i’ll have to get past that eventually because i can’t let my life be dictated by this incredibly toxic cycle forever or i’ll never be happy, but now isn’t the time. they also have a dog who would similarly be put at risk if something happened to them, so it’s a lot for me to worry about.

but, having said all that, we’re currently in the apology stage or i guess the negotiation stage because, after the shit that happened this time, i’m making it perfectly clear i’m not stepping foot in that house until they do something. detox, treatment, rehab, disulfiram, soberlink, therapy – something. we’re kind of running out of things for them to try at this point, but at least they used to try. they haven’t really been doing that this past year and I’m the one suffering the most because of it.

so yeah, that’s where things are at the moment. i’m mentally not doing so hot - but I’ve got my dog, and being able to sleep in a bed i’m familiar with for a change and not a hotel (I spent so much money on hotels, guys i’m cooked) is nice relief while I wait out whatever the hell is happening. talking to them over the phone again pretty much drains any of the energy I’ve got back, but it sounds like they’re starting to "get it' so hopefully they’ll start to take this seriously again because I can really only take one more year of this (if even) until I just need to accept these things aren’t my responsibility and move on.

honestly, having a close-knit group of friends/support system for the first time in years has really reminded me of that and given me the confidence to take a lot of steps to live for myself for a change, and to think about prioritizing my own happiness for once, which wasn’t the place i was in at this time last year, or the year before that, or the year before that - so I just want to say thank you again to anyone whose ever helped talk me through something or really just been nice to me at all. this is why i always remember to be kind because it can genuinely do a lot for someone going through something, because i know it has for me.

anyway uhhhhh i hope you are all doing well, and with any luck i’ll be chilling on here by the start of october. can’t miss spooky month and this insufferable pink bird’s birthday, after all.

much love.

[meanbossart]

After seeing your shart/star/drow drawing from a while ago, I was wondering what your interpretation of Drow and Astarion's views on monogamy are? For Astarion, it seems that fandom views vary from "he's completely okay with open relationships" to "he's lying about being okay with it because he's scared you'll leave him" so I'm curious what your thoughts are!

My immediate reaction to seeing the dialogue about Halsin was, definitely, "Oh, he's full of shit", and hence that's what stuck for my personal interpretation of Astarion. Hopefully it goes without saying that other folks can do whatever they want though, and the day you see me complain about Tav/Halsin/Astarion content shoot me dead because I have most certainly been body-snatched. Or just become a massive party pooper. Either way I will be living a miserable existence and you should put me out of my misery.

I do love my little pointy-eared parade, and think their friendship is very intimate - alas, Shadowheart is definitely just a friend and never a third party in the romance. The Astarion I write is definitely one who, given his history, just wants someone to be exclusive to and vice-versa. He isn't particularly jealous or possessive but, at least in ANE he would be at a point where if the subject ever came up he would voice his discontent about it.

Luckily, DU Drow is, for all his flaws, an extremely devoted person and borderline wired to "mate for life" lol so he has no interest in pursuing sex or romance with anyone else and likely never will.

It's not entirely out of the question that they would pull a third into the mix for one night or something at some point, just for fun, but that's very much outside both their levels of comfort in ANE and likely for the foreseeable future.

[dr3am5scape]

Late Night Subway

(Grayson x Fem Reader)

(For more further experience, can add music while reading…or not :)

Hey y’all out there! Am happy it’s a nice and cold day jeez. I want to let you know that I’m glad that I am able to make more and finding more people reading my stuff, including lesbians which is amazing 💜 I want to say thank you for loving my stuff.🤭

Enjoy reading this for today and be doing more hopefully next week since I’m off for break yay!

Gloomy night in Piltover city, their was finally an underground train station that was made for people to get back to their usual home. And one of them is you actually. A lot of folks was already home in their cozy bed, while you just got out of work and you were pretty much the only one there. The subway was dark and green, which showed in the atmosphere. Some of the lights were flickering and some weren’t but dim. The air was musty, thinking none of the workers ever cleaned down there. It felt like you were in Zaun already but weren’t. You just got off from late night working at the main area of the library in Piltover, wanted to go home so so bad. You sat on the bench waiting for the train to arrive….hopefully. This place felt unfamiliar like it wasn’t suppose to be this awful compared what it looked before. All cleaned and perfection. It would be packed everywhere during the day. Maybe this night wasn’t the right time to get pick up. It was now 10pm. You had this deep thought if someone was watching you in the shadow as you kept looking back and forth. Just in a few moments later, you heard someone approaching you. “Sorry to startled you, miss but it seems that no one should be here at this time of night. Where are you heading to at this hour?” The sheriff says coming from behind. “Um home.” You thought for a second it was a creep asking you for something, until you realize enforcers do check on others who are still around this subway area. And she was one of them. “Oh thank goodness I wasn’t the only one here, I was scare for a second.” You took a deep breath from all the anxiety you had. “Dont worry ma’am. It’s my honor and job to protect any citizens of Piltover. May I ask what’s your name, dear?” The big women says. She was pretty much taller and look pretty strong comparing to your size XD Which made you not focus on her question but her whole body figure, til you shake your head.

“Oh uh it’s y/n.” The sheriff smile in pleased. “Y/n, how lovely. I’m Grayson. As you might’ve guessed already that I’m an enforcer in case anything happened here. That’s why I came to make sure everyone gets home safely.” You form a small smile and blush appear on your cheeks. “That’s very nice of you, Sheriff Grayson. I do need to get home actually. I was just afraid something might’ve happened to me. But thanks to you,” you said. “It’s no problem, ma’am. It’s my duty to ensure city of Piltover is safe. Since I’m here, may I walk you home and make sure you arrived there safely?” Grayson says offering her hand at you. You nod, smiling as you hold her hand. “That’ll be lovely, Sheriff.” Grayson offered your hand, gesturing to walk with her as you two saw the train finally arrives. “Follow me. I’ll find us a seat somewhere.” You two walk in and sat at the farthest back corner near the window. The train begin moving on towards the tunnels. While looking through the window, you look back at Grayson, seeing her as she makes sure everything was okay during the train. She saw you look up at her, which made her chuckle and wink at you, as a way of flirting at you. You couldn’t help but lift the palm to your mouth as you turn completely red looking slightly away from her. Oh god.

Later on, Grayson sigh, sitting down next to you. You two talked for a little while to the point, you felt your eyes tired. Letting out a yawn, you tried to stay up but couldn’t. Grayson glance at you. “You seem tired, y/n. Why don’t you lean your head on my shoulder.” You look at her twice, while blinking to stay more focus. “Wha-Really? Your such a sweetheart, Grayson.” You nod at her sweet advice and lay on the side. The sheriff lets out a small hum, flustered by your nice words. Throughout the train, you two were in complete silence. An hour later, train finally stop for your destination. You didn’t know Grayson would do such a thing, which was carrying you in a bridal style, while getting off. It caught you off guard being in this sort of situation. You didn’t say anything but just let it happened. Towards home, you thank Grayson keeping you safe and warm around her. You actually wanted to do more of this with her. So you gave her your phone number in case. You gave Grayson a hug, not wanting to let her go for tonight, but didn’t wanna make things too awkward, so you pull back. “Thanks for bringing me home. Hope to see you another day. Stay safe out there, Sheriff and gets some sleep. Goodnight.” You smile waving at her, but startled when she let you go inside as a way for respect. “Me too, y/n. Me too. Have a goodnight, dear.” Grayson says before walking out and watching the night sky, thinking about you, with a warm innocent smile linger on her face.

“She does like me. Just as much I like her too.”

The end

🥺aww me next Grayson pls

[unhonest-iago]

My Pretty Little Galway Girl

Idk why I made the set up for this so long. That said, happy w/ how it turned out.

P/t—preferred temperature

F/m/g—favorite music genre

Fem reader

Corpse meeting y/n at a dive bar, him in the audience and them on the stage. Fingers plucking the strings on their violin, the body nestled between shoulder and chin. Long skirts swaying as they moved across the stage. 'Why hello there stranger,' greeting Corpse after he sent them a drink.

Two fingers shooting upward in a mini salute when y/n looked towards his end of the bar, deciphering who had sent it. A handsome man with unruly black hair. 'Name's Corpse.'

'Y/n. Hopefully you don't murder people as a hobby.' They joked, not thinking Corpse could become any more attractive when they heard his laugh. 'Can promise you I've never murdered anyone. Plus haven't met anyone to murder.'

'Oh, so are you new to town new or new to this neck of the woods new?' Crossing a leg over the other, smoothing their skirt down. 'As in moved here a week ago.' Y/n, entranced by the man decided to be his tour guide. Asking if he was free the following weekend. 'What for?' The tone of the conversation carrying a wind of coyness. 'Sight seeing, if you're up for it.'

‘Hop on, stranger.’ The term quickly became a staple nickname y/n uses for Corpse. Corpse glad he wore jeans at the sight of their motorcycle. ‘Nice to see you again, fiddler.’ Corpse looping his hands around their waist.

Y/n ends up taking him to all the hole in the wall joints that tourists would never find. Purposely choosing the scenic routes. The day closing with the duo sat on top of a hill, watching the sun go down as they shared a pile of fries. 'Thanks for this.' Corpse whispers. Nudging their knee with his, 'No problem, was nice to get an outsider's opinion. Finally got to share it with someone.'

Chat notices that Corpse is happier and starts conspiring whether he has a partner which scares the fuck out of him because he hasn't told y/n what he actually does for a living. So he sits y/n down that week and explains it all to them. 'Can I watch you stream? It's fine if not.' Corpse helps them set up an account.

Corpse being just as supportive with y/n's work. Going to a gig here and there when he has nothing to do. Still taken a-back at how comfortable they are on stage, even though it's more of a slate platform. Y/n spotting him when they once again get a drink sent their way. Mouthing the word 'tease,' and Corpse simply mouths back 'but you love me for it.'

Leads to them moving into an apartment together. Corpse getting some of his friends to help carry boxes in if they're free. Y/n unlocking the door after they park the rental truck into the parking lot. Living together, y/n learns that Corpse is a big night owl and takes his coffee black. Corpse learns that y/n likes the thermostat on p/t and that they like to listen to f/m/g while cleaning

A year rolls around and it's now springtime. 'What's got you all excited?' Corpse asks as he hugged them from behind, having noticed how y/n had a little pep in their step. 'St. Patrick's Day is next week. Actually got to the store early enough to get a whole brisket.'

His eyebrow furrowed as he asked, 'brisket for what?' Apparently he'd wrongfully assumed that it was gonna be another day. 'Corned beef and cabbage, my folks always made it for St. Patrick's Day. That or we'd go to an Irish pub for lunch.' Thinking back to it, Corpse had met y/n in one such pub a year prior on the aforementioned day.

'Did we meet because of--?' Lifting his head from their shoulder. 'Yea, we did. But that was a coincidence, wasn't supposed to work that day.' The usual violinist unable to play as they'd inexplicably broken their wrist. 'Do you do the whole pinching thing?'

'No, you can still go out in your dark aesthetic,' playful teasing at how most of his wardrobe was the quintessential 'I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.' But so was theirs, Corpse's fashion taste rubbing off on them.

Corpse helped set the table, every time he tried helping in the kitchen, he'd immediately get booted by y/n. It'd been on the stove, simmering away for 3 hours. 'Corpse, could you get the balsamic vinegar? Should be in the fridge.' Somehow switching roles when Corpse gently nudged them aside once he saw them struggling. 'I got it, now how thin do you want it?' Gesturing with their thumb and pointer.

'You sure you like it? Not too tough is it?' Corpse, placing down his silverware, grabbed y/n's hand. Running his thumb in circles against their wrist. 'It's perfect, fiddler.' Kissing their cheek. 'Thanks, stranger.'

[adleryoung]

If I was journeying to the North Woods to find "Wild Rebecca of the Wood," I would need to prepare myself. Dr. Cesawonki might not know about wraith-rabbits, but I knew they were sinister shadows that flitted furtively around the edges of their victim's vision just before they pounced! You had to be constantly on the lookout!

I rummaged in my Elfintory to make sure I had the supplies I would need for my trip, and happened to find the scry-orbs. They were painted to look like eyeballs. I had a dim recollection of (sometime during my long isolation) making a face out of dried grass and putting the orbs in it so I would have someone to talk to. Hopefully I would never have to resort to that again, but one never knew… I carefully put the orbs back into my Elfintory and continued taking stock of my supplies.

Once satisfied that I was ready, I changed into a suit of lowfolk-style clothes and set out. I had a small detail of Ixies accompany me - but at a discreet distance, so as not to attract attention as I roamed the lowfolk world. This was to be my biggest adventure yet!

The journey itself held little of note.

Stopped by inclement weather on the other side of Ballynure, I had to spend the night in an abandoned mansion where I met a group of lowfolk youths who had a large house-ant named Folly (after an old folk song that went "Fa la la la la, where art thou?" which the youngsters sang loudly at every opportunity.) I was initially surprised to learn that Folly could talk, but my interest waned after I realized all he could say was "Merthy thaketh, Thlovenly," to the unkempt goat lad who was apparently his master. The rest of the time he was getting underfoot and begging for "Folly treats" which were grimy lumps of sugar which Slovenly carried in his pockets. It was my misfortune to be in the mansion the same night these youths were there to investigate an alleged haunting. They spent several hours bumbling around and "investigating" only to find out the mansion wasn't really haunted at all! What a disappointment! Old man McJack, the property's caretaker, had been disguising himself as a ghost to scare away visitors and spread rumors. His goal was to drive the value of the property down so he could buy it cheap. A rather lame plot, I must say! But I suppose it takes a fool to catch a fool. I left that place feeling slightly dumber from exposure to these meddling kids and their talking pet.

After that, I decided traveling by foot was not suitable for a person of my stature, so I took a ride on a lowfolk train for the first time. Would you believe it: A grisly murder happened while I was on board. Coincidentally, there happened to be a lowfolk detective aboard as well, a clever chap named Heracles Parrot. I helped him do a little bit of detecting. He was much better at it than the doltish children I had met earlier, and it didn't take long to discover that everyone on the train except Monsieur Parrot and myself had taken part in the murder. That guy must have been unpopular. The police arrested everyone at the next station, and with no engineer we were stranded.

At that point I found out, much to my chagrin, that I had boarded the wrong train and had been traveling in the completely wrong direction. On top of that, the station was in the middle of a wild, desolate moor. Monsieur Parrot invited me to accompany him on the next train, but he was heading South and I needed to go North. I set off on foot, but once again got caught by bad weather. I was forced to spend the night in an old cabin where I met a very intense young fellow who, for some reason, had a saw instead of a hand. He was (somehow) in possession of an evil book of Netherhells lore, and of course had foolishly used it to release a bunch of evil spirits that could reanimate the dead. If I hadn't come along, he would have been in real trouble, but fortunately my knowledge of magick allowed me to dispel all of the wicked bogeys in a trice.

At that point I remembered (with a vicious smack of my own forehead)that I had the ability to teleport. I notified my Ixie escort of my intentions and simply pooked as far North as I dared. From there I again pooked to the horizon, and again, and so on until I eventually found myself at the edge of the fabled North Woods.

What would Rebecca be like? We hadn't had a chance to speak at our last brief meeting. I hoped she and Burnside hadn't changed too much. Did they still talk about me? What if they were a couple now? I tried to think of vaguely positive things to say if that were the case. What if Rebecca had taken up knife-fighting? What if Burnside managed to turn her on to the joys of gutting and filleting live victims?

It occurred to me that I might be walking into a very dangerous situation. I paused and summoned my ixies to me.

[multiplicity-positivity]

hey so we get pretty stressed out by hearin/talking about syscourse do to past trauma conected to it do you have any tips on how we can work on being less scared/stressed by it (like we have multiple alters that are just staight up scared and end up crying when reading and us getting syscourse ask do to the trauma) - night it/xe/star

our response is going under a cut due to the potentially triggering topic.

hey, night… we’re really sorry that seeing syscourse can be so triggering and painful for your system. rest assured you’re not alone in this. what should be a space for civil, respectful discussion with a diverse group of people is more often than not filled with folks hating and lashing out at each other for holding differing beliefs.

honestly, we believe that no one should feel obligated to take part in syscourse if they don’t want to. if viewing and participating in syscourse is a trigger for your system, it may be best to limit your exposure to it. we’d suggest using tumblr’s filtering system to block both the tag “#syscourse” and the word “syscourse” - you can also do this with “#anti endo” and “anti endo” as well, depending on your system’s views.

on the off-chance that you do happen to see some syscourse, here are some things you can do:

if you get a syscourse-related ask, block the user (which you can do by hitting the three dots at the top of the ask, then “block user.” this will work even if they send an ask anonymously) and then delete the ask.

if some syscourse is reblogged onto your dash, unfollow the person who put it there, ask them to tag the post properly so it can be filtered, or go to the original poster and block them.

if you’ve been put in a difficult emotional state due to seeing syscourse, try to step away from the situation and calm down a bit. we love the r.e.s.t. acronym for this, which is a dbt skill. we’ll include a post we’ve written in the past where we explained this strategy:

and here’s a few other things which might help y’all feel a bit less stressed about syscourse overall:

- other people’s opinions of you do not matter. regardless of your origins, someone ranting angrily about how certain systems are invalid for whatever reason is ultimately their problem, not yours. try to work on internal validation and self confidence, and understand that other people do not know you or your system better than y’all know yourselves.

- understand that everyone who participates in syscourse is a human being. many participants are traumatized, hurt, frustrated, and confused. sometimes when people are making heated statements, their words are coming from a place of heightened emotions and not rational thinking. so it’s never beneficial to take another syscourser’s remarks too personally.

- educate yourself about dissociative disorders, endogenic plurality, or other subjects that often become topics in syscourse. if you can build up your own solid foundation of knowledge, it may help you feel less helpless or attacked by seeing others have these discussions online.

we really hope that something here will be useful for you. we genuinely do believe that no one should have to engage in syscourse if they don’t want to, and especially if they have trauma relating to syscourse, it may be best to stay away from it. but we know everyone’s different and some folks really want to continue participating despite it having negative effects on their system. so hopefully, whether or not y’all choose to engage with it in the future, something here can at least help you feel a bit more equipped to make the right decisions for your system.

good luck with everything, night. we’re wishing your system rest and healing in the future :)

[spacecapybara]

And now a random dream story that keeps getting "episodes" like its a comedy slice-of-life show

For some reason in involves ending up in the "Otherworld" like I've upset the fairies in Irish myth. but the other world is just another real world that has portals to sneak into the real world and all the monsters of folklore and cryptid tales live but they are more humanesque ala monstergirls/boys but apparently when in the human side of things humans get this weird fear based hallucination that turns them into horrifying forms like the actual myths. So basically getting stuck in a university on that side because they have a HR department (Human Research) and I basically get interviewed there alot by various folks who run it and so they can avoid me ending up in too much trouble with faux pas as I wander the campus. Theres a gorgon leading the underfunded human research department who can control the pertrifying stare unless they are really excited or scared and accidentally set it off...but they are very excitable individual and have repeatedly have to take people to get unpetrified cus of her often excitement.

There's a centaur who is a physical trainer both teaching physical education as part of a course but also just being a trainer for folks who need it, they like track and field style stuff the most but are also terrifying cus the horse half is a draft horse.

There's a bunch of harpy students of various bird types, many of which are mean girl types who enjoy fashion and peacocking despite none of them being peacocks or peahens. Mainly pigeons, crows, doves, etc. There's another staff member that is a very fluffy owl harpy who apparently uses the excuse of being nocturnal to go for flights without clothing during the night cus of exhibitionism? But no one would notice from a distance cus she so fluffy you can't tell what outfit she is wearing anyway cus feathers just poof out around it.

There was a pair of minotaurs that just lived nearby and for some reason ran a dairy farm out of a tiny farmer shack as all their land had been sold to the university before...I decided it best not to ask how they were running a diary farm without any livestock.

There was a gang of kobolds (the lizard like ones) who when they decide as a collective someone is worthy of being worshipped like a dragon, they will repeatedly over several days deliver varieties of random gifts to try to be the most favoured one and hopefully as the most favoured one get a date with said person.

[talenlee]

MtG: Halloweenmander #3

Spooky scary skeletons season! It’s horror time! It’s creepy movies and dark mystique and what we need now is to sit down and play a bunch of Magic: The Gathering, a game that has been periodically terrorised by fairies and goblins.

Let’s look at some horror-themed commander decks!

Five years ago (good GOD) I wrote two articles about different horror commanders you could use to make the heart of a spooky horrifying Commander deck that could be used for a halloween card game night. And that was 2018, so many years ago, and that means surely there are some more commanders printed since then, to revisit the idea.

How many commanders have been printed since then?

Oh.

In case you don’t read these numbers well, when the last article was published, there were 786 potential commanders printed. Since then, 1,170 more have been printed, and isn’t that a number.

Anyway, point is, I’m sure I can belt out five more commanders to make for a spooky horror deck, based on something about this card makes it a good spooky horror card!

I’m going to present here, then, a set of four different commanders, one for each different partially-black colour pairs, that, hopefully, pull in different enough directions that they don’t all feel like they’re all the same deck playing with the same ideas.

BW: Burakos, Party Leader // Folk Hero Zombies

WUBRG order predicts we have to start here with a white base creature. The combination of Burakos and Folk Hero is pretty obvious – as long as you have both out, any time you cast a creature that shares a creature type with Burakos, you get to draw a card, as long as you’re only playing one a turn. Burakos is a Cleric, Wizard, Warrior and a Rogue and an Orc, which means any time you cast those, Burakos can get you a card, which is a steady ongoing source of cards.

Thing is, if you just look at black and white’s top edhrec cards, you’re going to see some bangers. You can build for lock pieces, with things like Grand Abolisher and Mother of Runes, or you can build for aggressive Aristocrats effects with Zulaport Cutthroat and friends. But know what else you can build for?

There are a lot of zombies that are clerics, wizards and warriors. Death Baron is a Wizard. So’s Undead Augur. Archghoul of Thraben is. Mikaeus, The Unhallowed is a cleric. Shepherd of Rot, Rotlung Reanimator, Corpse Harvester, Boneknitter, they’re all Clerics and Wizards. You can get some bodies out there, and then there are cards Death_Priest of Myrkul, Ratadrabik – some stuff that’s midsized, and that means you benefit from dumping cards out there. You can build a hell of a party with a lot of dead meat, you’ll draw lots of cards, and Burakos even makes it possible to score treasures if you can make him hard to block.

It’s black, it’s white, it’s a swarm with control and ways to reload!

UB: Umbris, Fear Manifest

Making a blue black deck out of just the coolest things you can find isn’t hard, and there’s already a lot of cards you can cast that exile things off your opponent’s deck. This is a feeling of horror, of macabre dreadfulness, but also, the trick is, you want to make Umbris big enough to start one-shotting opponents, and then you want to protect them. That means you’re not trying to exile whole libraries, you just want to be able to exile chunks. This means that instead of focusing on beating up people’s graveyards en masse, you can treat other people’s graveyards like they’re a resource, which adds Uchuulon to your options.

The thing is, Umbris cares about entering the battlefield, which means if you can protect Umbris with flicker effects, you’re going to get something out of them! Things that bring Umbris back from the dead? Also handy!

The best thing about this kind of deck is if you make basically a blue-black flicker deck, around horrors, you have this sort of jump-scare effect and you have a lot of cards that are really good at pushing your game forward, that are good at protecting you, but don’t leave the other players at the casual table panicked that you’re going to counter their creatures.

Don’t get me wrong, when you start chomping chunks off the top of people’s libraries, they are going to want you dead, but at least you have a sort of blue-black voltron deck whose backup plan is melting minds.

BR: Kardur, Doomscourge

Man, I want an alter of Kardur that just looks like he was airbrushed on a van.

Where Burakos’ folk story is trying to make a swarm deck that cares about hitting the board and Umbris wants to turtle up, a Kardur deck? You want to make a bunch of goad cards the backbone here. Kardur wants creatures attacking and blocking. Kardur wants people on the board crashing into each other, and Kardur’s creatures want to be part of that. It’s okay for you to kill off your stuff with Kardur, and you don’t even mind if they come back symmetrically.

Here’s my thinking: Black red Berserkers, built around tribal effects, including Patriarch’s Bidding. You don’t mind if your bidding gets a bunch of other people’s stuff back: You want that stuff back, you want it on the floor so you can get them to crash into one another again!

BG: Old Stickfingers

Okay, that’s three decks that aren’t just ‘more stuff Talen already was going to play,’ right?

Well, here’s Old Stickfingers.

Old Stickfingers is a card that, for, say, four mana, loads two creatures into your yard, and just creatures. Since Stickfingers leaves spells alone, it’s not a source of flashback or jumpstart spells, it’s just a way to get just creatures into your bin. That’s okay though, because there are some creatures that can do stuff from inside your graveyard.

Any given creature from your bin, if it has more than 1 power, is better on the board than supporting Old Stickfingers. Stickfingers is a kind of hydra as a commander, and it can ‘draw’ you like, X cards while it’s doing it, especially if you build with cards like Skyclave Shade, Ghastly Remains, Genesis, Loathsome Troll, Gigapede, Brawn – that kinda stuff can be part of an engine. Genesis is obviously the best one!

This can be hard to deal with in terms of gumming up the ground though. Like, cheap cards like Bloodsoaked Champion and Dread Wanderer, they can jump from your graveyard to the battlefield, but they don’t gum up the ground well. I like Hormagaunt Horde in this space a lot, too!

Wrapup

Hm.

Anything else?

No, I guess not. Mask up and stay safe at your Magic: The Gathering halloween parties!

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[atlanticcanada]

Upper Tantallon-area community shares wildfire criticisms and suggestions with officials

A crowd erupted into applause as residents affected by the Upper Tantallon-area wildfire aired their concerns to politicians and other officials at a public meeting Thursday night.

It was the first large in-person meeting that included all residents since a wildfire tore through their neighbourhoods at the end of May and early June, destroying 151 homes.

“Residents of Westwood Hills are worried, and they’re scared and they have every right to be,” said Dustin O’Leary, president of the Westwood Hills Residents Association.

He and others are calling for action to set up new exits, dry hydrants and firewalls. Speakers also criticized communication during and after the wildfire and called for better collaboration between the province and HRM.

“Work behind the scenes to make our neighbourhoods safer and do it fast,” O’Leary said.

The meeting, which was coordinated by District 13 Councillor Pam Lovelace, gave politicians and first responders a chance to speak to and hear directly from residents.

People leapt to their feet to give the Halifax Regional Fire and Emergency a standing ovation as they walked toward the microphone. The crowd also applauded for the SPCA’s efforts to save 136 animals.

As the applause filled the gym, so did the criticisms. Residents shared frustration over what they describe as slow and poor communication and late evacuation orders. Some also called for accountability and an update on DNRR’s investigation into what caused the fire.

“When will DNR be filing charges against the person or persons responsible for the fire and if so, when can we expect to hear?” asked Marion Gillespie, co-chair of the Highland Park Ratepayers Association.

Many residents saw the meeting as a good first step but also took issue with the fact there was no opportunity to ask direct questions.

Denys Prevost, who spoke on behalf of Perry Pond residents, said the conversation has to start somewhere.

“I don’t think that was the intention of the meeting, but that was certainly the intention of the residents,” said Prevost.

As the municipality and province undergo their own after-action reports, Prevost and others want residents to be involved.

“When you’re looking at how you did, you got to be listening to the people you were serving as well as what your folks did,” he said.

The desire to have a seat at the table has prompted residents to form the Tantallon Wildfire Life Safety Coalition, an umbrella group of several neighbourhood associations that aim to represent the concerns of the residents in one voice.

“I didn’t hear a plan from the municipality or provincial government and I think that’s going to come hopefully with some nudging from us,” said Martin Kenward, who’s with the safety coalition. “We want to work with the municipality, with the provincial government hand-in-hand but we want a seat at the table.”

Speaking with reporters after the meeting, Ben Jessome, MLA for Hammonds Plains Lucasville, said he appreciated people’s candour.

“I thought people were respectful but direct on things they needed to talk about,” Jessome said, noting many of the issues have been longstanding ones.

Jessome narrowed in on communication and described the doubling up of press conferences by the HRM and the province during the initial days of the firefight as conflicting and confusing.

“It was like this dualling scenarios that really took away from any critical messaging that needed to be delivered,” he said.

He also believed the HRM should have reached out to residents who had called 311 to share their address and conact information.

“People were begged to call 311,” Jessome said. “There was next to no direct information although they had that information.”

Lovelace, who coordinated the meeting, noted she heard a consistent message from residents and council is already looking at ways to fix the budget to ensure funds for egress are there.

Lovelace said the after-action report needs to be compiled and chronicled by agencies involved.

“Every single detail needs to be done by both the province and the municipality and all of the various different agencies,” she said.

Once that’s done, there will be an opportunity to sit down with the public and ask them to fill in the gaps.

from CTV News - Atlantic https://ift.tt/vMpChz0

[ekoilemartinwrite]

Journal March 7 2023

Oh journal March 7 2023

So today is going to be hectic or at least it feels like it is

I guess part of the question is do I emotionally have the energy to go in to

we de center and I think I do I

don't quite have an option for that

I

I'm feeling very shooting or no I feel like I should say

but I felt like

God placed on my heart today to read Psalm 22 Read Psalm 37

And that was surprisingly encouraging

those who played to God's righteousness WAIT on Him He always supports and holds up and even if sometimes even if someone looks like they're succeeding

they don't last they just don't

they may make a lot of noise and they may be very flashy

but they don't last.

They are like the beauty of the field which is a wonderful image that they are smoke that they are a shadow smoke

bear they're gone.

So I have a therapist appointment later today hopefully that goes okay or at least to help me mesh well

so last night Ashley's car died I had to drive into work and pick her up I also was concerned for our little dog because she

threw up her food

however it may be more along the lines of she's really needs to go to the bathroom doesn't have room which I'm hoping that that's the case because that would be relatively simple.

I'm also just realizing that I have added expenses that more expenses than I actually have money coming in. I've done that over the past several weeks and That's a game of tennis that really is not sustainable. And I don't know how that's I'm trusting God, that things will work out. But I'm guessing also that certain thing, so I need to get tighter. And that's okay

and I don't know how this is gonna work. I have faith God that it will. And part of that faith is I need to lose in faith. And that also means removing some things that are extemporaneous that I don't need

now, something tells me that most of these kinds of journals that people do are a bit more targeted. Because this is all the nitty gritty and sort of the emotional stuff that I normally would keep very private. But that's what it is. I guess there's no buts about it here you.

I feel bad about I want to say not wanting to collaborate with Donnie which is not true. I feel nervous about collaborating. I feel hesitant

and

partially it's been that I haven't had much brain space to

devote to it

but also

I know he's good. His lyric. Lyrically is amazing

his skill in that I don't think he really understands how gifted he is. And I know he doesn't because he's like, Oh, no, just do this thing. And I was like where last poacher even though it arrived on time. So what happened is we were trying to go over GarageBand and he's like, Oh, just play some answers. Just say words. You know, it's like a conversation and like I did not end up saying any words because I don't think he understood how limited my ability to process that at the same time was considering with the poetry that I've gotten to that level I started with phrases that I knew would be Higgledy Piggledy and then pick a random sound or Word and try and rhyme it and they were always simple. Like and then I'll use like, oh, just you know, just playing this or that say word and like, I ended up not doing because I was scared. Which I should not have been and I know that but I don't know why I was scared. I guess because I didn't want to look stupid hmm

I, one of the things which I've realized is that like I've just not been Opening up lunch with my, my co workers of the day center. I think because I've been scared because I haven't wanted to trust them, but that stuff.

And

I

don't really have good reason other than habit. Because it's one of those things where like, God placed me there.

He put me with these people.

And that means I need to learn that there are things that I need to do, and I need to learn. I need to get better at and I know that one of the things I need to get better at is actually dealing and interacting with people. And so I'm now with folks who certainly expect my ability to do stuff. But I need to make a much better show approach of interacting and understanding what a conversation is and how to elevate that and how to move in that

and that can take a lot

so

that's the thing I need to do. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. I feel a bit scared. And I feel a bit annoyed right now I'm mostly not processing what happened with my roommate over the weekend. On I think Saturday afternoon, I think

or maybe

Friday evening No, it was not Friday. Maybe it was Thursday.

Now maybe it was Saturday, it probably was Saturday afternoon. I know because it was daylight and we were sitting on the low couch

just feels so like such a much longer time than that. She's turning 35 this year. She does not expect to marry me until she's 40.

And also,

she does not want her first sexual time to be with me. I haven't been with a woman before. But that's like just such a big hurdle. She just wants to do it with someone she has no attachment to and then get it over with.

Because like that whole thing of being naked with someone is such such a massive step

that she does. She She literally said, I know you too. Well. I don't want to do that with you. And I'm like, Okay.

I won't lie and pretend like she does eventually want to do that. She just doesn't want me to be her first time. And all I can all I could think for a while. I mean, I I forgive her. I forgive her. I forgive her. That hurt that fucking hurt. She's like, yes, I want to marry you. I just don't want my first sexual experience to you.

That hurts. A lot.

And I like to think is the old and I told her this the only reason I wandered around with a bunch of prostitutes. Trying to explore my sexuality is because I was in a relationship with someone who was profoundly uninterested in unenthusiastic with exploring that was me because I wanted to do that in a relationship. But I was in a relationship that just hurt. And he was he didn't want that. He was uninterested in me. But he kept like stoking those fires. So I had to go somewhere else. I don't think she understands. And that's okay. Because that's not a thing I want to do that's not really a thing that should be done to somebody

ever does

that hurt a lot on reflecting on it that night, I just remember thinking that I I paid for the privilege of being elevated to feel like beat

like to be sexual with someone to feel like beat. And I paid for the privilege of feeling like because I felt less than that

that when you pay money for that, like I don't think I've outside of like college and my ex boyfriend I don't think I've had a sexual experience that didn't involve money

that's really sad.

Like it didn't either involve alcohol other than my ex boyfriend. None of my sexual experiences have all of my sexual experiences had have either had alcohol as a factor or

money. That's not completely true. But the

post college all of them have had money. Or the This isn't like the 95% range here. There's like 5% or vast majority of only money and that has a really big impact on how you perceive your own value. And because it means I mean, I think maybe the one or two after all the escorts were that wasn't true.

With Grant

I like that hurt more because it felt like it was storming that I was only useful because of buying physical skills, that the person that I was underneath was actually a value

that was a lie.

And I know that she's not saying anything about my value. I know she isn't saying anything about my desirability.

Intellectually, I know that emotionally I'm catching up. I have a therapy session later today with a new therapist, which will be a video chat. And I was hoping to like mostly I just need to process how I feel about Ashley.

So

I also don't want to hold any grudges on I need to forgive. It's literally one of the things which Christians are which are is unique to Christianity, that Christians are commanded to forgive. We are specifically told, basically commanded, things will be judged against you the way you judge others like what you hold against someone else that will be held against you. We are commanded to forgive, not just let it go. But forgiveness is active. It is an active choice.

That's hard.

And I do forget

She's still an idol

marriage

and sex are still

food is too.

Food especially for a temptation lately has been difficult. And

it's been a struggle for the first time in months, months and months and months. I actually got fast food from McDonald's. I was like hoping it was not what I was hoping for. I wanted to practice didn't get there in time for that. But it was just so unsatisfying. In a way that even something from the day center which is a bit more homemade, even if it's something from someplace like Olive Garden even that food is better, more nourishing, more satisfying

than McDonald's.

I know that I want to follow what mealtime I was doing before because I know it will work.

And I

I follow this plan and it does work. It's very gentle. I'd like to be a bit more strict with mine for a time to get my body where I want it because I know I can do that

and it'll take a bit of leeway. And it'll take some time but I can do that

I need to do a bit of math. And most of the premium stuff that I have for veggies and such is basically gone. Which is partially what I've been waiting for. Also the fact that we currently have no dishwasher and almost all the dishes are dirty and I've had to scrub everything before I cook it before it cook with it has been driving me utterly batty. Thank you God that tomorrow. Ashley and I can go get we will go and purchase a new dishwasher and a clothes washer and dryer. And then maybe also a couch

the futon. Not from Walmart.

For the record, she's the one that said Not Walmart

[golbrocklovely]

the ghost with the most // sam golbach

A/N: first fic of my 13 nights of halloween ! i highkey love this story haha this and the one i wrote for colby with the same-ish concept were so easy to write. thank god bc i still have so much writing to do. but hopefully you enjoy this one. this one is also gender-neutral so everyone can enjoy. let me know what you think :)

prompt: the ghost hunter that lives in your house doesn't believe in ghosts. guess it's time to show him what you're made of || ghost!reader x sam golbach

trigger warning: cursing, ghost hijinks, mostly fluff

word count: 1311

~~~~~~~~

This house was yours. It had been yours for years, decades even. But you never grew older.

You died a long time ago. You weren't sure how or when, but you knew you were dead.

And every couple years, a new family would move into your house. At first you hated it, but now... you've grown to enjoy your time annoying and scaring the new house folks.

This year, the family that moved in wasn't really a family at all. It was a group of guys, all in their early 20s. You watched from the shadows as they all picked out their rooms, some fighting over the master (which was yours so like... why were they fighting in the first place?), and over the next month or so they settled in.

Their choice in decoration was... boring, to say the least. Borderline nonexistent, besides in their own rooms. The one named Colby kept his room pretty dark, dungeon-like. The other two had some very weird styles that you didn't appreciate. And the last one, Sam... his was fine.

You settled on his room to chill in.

Something about his energy was interesting to you. You had overheard them all one night talking about ghosts, about whether or not they existed at all. And Sam was the one that surprised you the most with his response.

"No. They totally don't exist. Even with all the proof we've captured, I'm still unsure."

You didn't quite understand what he meant, but you saw him and Colby leave the house every so often, only to come back and tell the others about their adventures and "investigations".

So they were ghost hunters? And Sam didn't believe? Interesting.

You had nothing else to do with your free time, and since you had plenty of it, you decided to focus your energy on Sam and making him believe.

The first thing you tried was giving him nightmares. That itself was a bit difficult for you, but humans’ minds were a lot more open when they were unconscious. You were able to weasel your way in and make him think of scary, horrible things. Of ghosts chasing after him, of you chasing him around the house.

After a couple nights, you thought you had done the trick. I mean, how many times does someone have to wake up in a cold sweat to realize they are getting a message from the beyond?

But it didn't work. So you moved on to plan b: poltergeist time.

Now, you weren't an evil spirit. Hell, in your old life the worst thing you ever did was get a parking ticket. But you figured if Sam saw things moving around on their own, he would start to believe, or at least sense that something was in his house.

Because at least the others knew that. They would tell him all the time that they could feel something watching them, especially Colby. But Sam always shrugged it off, claiming they were just paranoid.

One day, while Sam was sitting in bed, you decided to knock something over on his desk. Some random little figurine he had. His eyes widened as he heard the noise, he jumped out of bed and looked at his desk. The figurine laid on the floor, still shaking from your motion.

"How'd that fall?" He whispered to himself.

You felt like shouting "Me, bitch!" but figured that was a bit mean. He placed it back on his desk and left his room. You figured maybe was going to go downstairs, tell all of his friends about what just happened. You giddily followed him to the kitchen, only to watch him pull out lunchmeat from the fridge and make a sandwich.

You tried the next day, and the day after that, and still... nothing. It didn't help that his other two roommates had decided to move out, so you waited for there to be a right time to spring into action again. And finally when the time came, you decided to up the ante and move something in front of him and Colby, thinking maybe he would get a clue that what was happening to him was paranormal. While the two of them were in the kitchen, you opened a drawer, slowly. Colby noticed it first. His breath hitched in his throat as he watched the drawer open.

"Dude, look! The drawer's opening on it's own." He gasped.

You smiled as Sam turned towards the drawer, hoping that now it would finally click in his head. But instead he walked up to the drawer, shut it, and went back to talking with Colby. He told him that that drawer always had a problem staying shut and had opened on him before.

Oh, so now we're just lying to each other?!

You finally had one more move in your arsenal. You decided, while he was out, to stack everything in his room in the center of it. His desk, bed, furniture, whatever you could get your hands on, you put in the middle of his room. It took you a long time, and you were proud of your work when you were finally through.

There's no way he's not gonna believe this is paranormal.

You waited impatiently for him to come home. He walked through the front door and trudged up the stairs to his bedroom. You smirked as he rubbed his eyes, ready to take a nice long nap most likely. Then he opened his door, stopping dead in his tracks.

"What the...?"

He studied his room, glancing all over the place for how this could have happened. You leaned against the wall, just waiting to hear him scream or gasp or... something. He yelled for Colby, and he came in a minute later.

"Love what you've done with the place, Sam." Colby stated nonchalantly.

Sam glared. "How the fuck did you do this?"

"Do what? I didn't do this." Colby argued.

"Well, you were the only one home." Sam mentioned.

"I was, yeah. But I've been busy editing. I left two hours ago to get some food." Colby replied.

Sam questioned him, "Then who did this?"

Ghosts! Say it was a ghost! There's no one else that could have done it!

"...Jake." They nodded their heads, rolling their eyes at their ex-roommate.

Are you forreal?! You tried to breathe for a second. You know what? They'll realize it wasn't him when he confesses it wasn't, and they'll have to realize then it was something supernatural.

But that never happened. They didn't question Jake, they just assumed it was him and moved on with their lives. But you... you couldn't.

You followed Sam around the house. Every step he took, you were right behind him. You gave him some privacy when he needed it (you weren't a perv now), but otherwise, you wanted him to feel you. To feel your anger.

Sam and Colby mentioned that they had a new investigation the next day that they had to get ready for. You groaned at their words, following Sam as he left Colby's room to go to his own, and into his bathroom. Once you realized he was only washing his face for bed, you came in.

"I fucking hate you, you know that right? Do you know how annoying it is to prove to someone that I'm real? God, this is the most irritating thing I've had to do, and I've died before! I mean, you go on these trips, catch tons of evidence, and somehow don't believe in ghosts. It's insane to me. Like, what do I have to do, jumpscare you? Do I have to appear in front of you just for you to believe in me?!"

Sam jolted up out of the sink, his face sudsy with his face wash. His eyes locked with yours, and he screamed.

[nastybuckybarnes]

Deep End  -  Five

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers X Reader

Summary: He’s back. After all your best efforts at getting away, he’s found you again. And this time, he’s not letting you go so easily. He’s determined to do whatever it takes to get you to be his. Forever.

Warnings: Dark Themes, Language, Angst, Manipulation, Injuries, 

Word Count: 3.2K

A/n: here we are, folks. What if I ended it like this lol that would be kinda gangsta of me LMAO

Deep End Masterlist

THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH SEXUAL AND TRIGGERING CONTENT!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

~*~

You push open the front door with a heavy sigh, setting the paper grocery bags down on the counter then resting a hand on your growing belly.

There’s a tiny flutter under your hand and you can’t help yourself from smiling.

The smile vanishes, however, when a hand grabs at your shoulder and forces you to turn around.

“Where the Hell were you?” Steve’s angry voice demands.

You look up at him in shock and confusion, looking over at the groceries.

“I-I just went to the store.”

He shakes his head, grabbing your face with one hand and stepping closer. You take a step back with each one he takes towards you, and soon enough he’s got you pinned against the wall.

His grip on your face tightens and you wince, fear overwhelming your body, making your heart race.

“Bucky said he saw you talking to someone. A man. Who was he?”

You shake your head, tears welling up in your eyes.

“H-He was just asking me about my pregnancy. When I'm due, if I know what I’m having.”

It’s nothing but the truth.

“I give you freedom and this is what you do? You go and flirt with other guys? You’re my property. Don’t forget that.”

Your tears fall down your cheeks and into his hand, but he doesn't let go. Even as your chest heaves and sobs bubble out of you, he stays glaring at you.

“Please, Steve, stop. Y-You’re hurting me!”

His jaw flexes and he slowly lets go, only to cage you against the wall, slamming his fist against it in the process.  

Your heart hammers in your chest, terror gripping you and freezing you in place as you remember what he did to Nat and her baby.

“I-I came home, didn’t I? I could’ve asked for help! Could’ve said something, but I didn’t. I’m here, again, even though I could’ve run away. I’m here. You have me! You have me.”

You slide down the wall, knees drawn up to your chest as you sob, the reality of your words and the fear doing a number on your emotions.

Steve’s anger slowly melts away, replaced with concern as he sees nothing but terror on your face.

“I-I didn’t mean to yell, honey. It’s okay, shh, come here.”

You don’t fight him as he pulls you into his arms and brings you upstairs into your bedroom, sitting you gently on the bed and pushing your hair away from your face.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, sweetheart I just... You gotta understand how nervous it makes me when you leave the house like that.”

You sniffle then slowly look up at him, your eyes bloodshot and tear-filled.

“Then why give me the freedom to leave?”

Your voice cracks and it makes his heart hurt.

“I... I want to trust you. That’s why.”

You take a few deep breaths, your eyes focused on your trembling hands as your heart starts to slow back to its normal rhythm.

“Ever since that night when Nat and Buck came over you’ve... you’ve been off. I’m worried about you, honey. I just wanna make sure that everything’s okay.”

He wants to know what Nat told you. What she said to have you acting like this.

Your eyes meet his, wet and full of fear as you whisper three words.

“Is it true?”

He has an idea what you’re referring to, and his heart picks up speed.

“Did...did you do it?”

He swallows hard and avoids your eyes, but that’s answer enough.

Some strange mixture of a gasp and a sob bubbles out of you, and you bring your hands up to cover your face as your shoulders start shaking again.

“I didn’t... I guess I did.” You sniffle and look up at him through your tears.

“If you want me to trust you... if you ever want any hope at having some semblance of normalcy, you’re gonna need to elaborate. I’m trying to play your little game but I just... I’m scared you’re gonna kill my baby too. That you’re gonna hurt Sarah.”

He shakes his head immediately, grabbing your hands and holding them softly in his.

“I would never hurt Sarah, or our new baby, okay? Natasha... she was becoming a liability. That being said, I didn’t go into it with the intention of hurting her baby but... I knew it could be a consequence.”

You wait for him to continue, your heart pounding loudly in your ears.

“When you burned the book... that wasn’t the only copy. Fury made sure there was at least one more, in case we ever needed it. Had his own group working on it, creating a new version of it. Natasha became a test subject long before I met you. Before I... took you.”

He drops his eyes and huffs out a sigh.

“We didn’t need to wipe her memory, we just... needed a way to make her more complacent. To make her realize that she can’t go off on her own and keep secrets like that. Especially when they involve you.”

Your chest heaves as you glare at him, your anger growing by the second.

“Did you kill her baby?”

The words are harsh like the crack of a whip, and he has to stop himself from flinching.

“It wasn’t my intention... but it was worth it.”

You choke on another sob, yanking your hands out of his grip.

“I didn’t know what the tea would do to her baby. It was just a mild sedative so we could get her to the facility and do the procedure. Get her to tell us where you were, where Sarah was. But then she... she started bleeding. I didn’t... I thought maybe it was just a side effect but then the doctors told us... (Y/n), you’ve gotta believe me. You need to know that I didn’t mean to...” he trails off and shakes his head, thinking about the niece or nephew that he could’ve had.

The son or daughter that he stripped Bucky of. The pain he inflicted upon Natasha. But he has you, so in the end, it was worth it.

You slowly look up at him, shaking your head.

“Why? You’ve done nothing but lie to me and hurt me. Why should I believe a word you’re saying?”

He swallows hard, reaching for your hand again only for you to yank it away once more.

“You want the truth? Fine. You’re not the first person that we’ve... taken. And I doubt you’ll be the last. Bucky... he had someone. Someone to help him control the soldier. But she turned out to be worse than him. We had to terminate her because she became a liability.”

He looks down at his hands, remembering how innocent she seemed. And then she snapped. Tried killing Nat and Bucky. Turned the redhead against them until Fury stepped in.

“Nat didn’t... agree with what we did. So we changed her mind.”

Your brows draw together in confusion.

He can’t mean... can he?

As if sensing your confusion, he elaborates.

“We didn’t do exactly the same procedure. But it... its function was the same. We needed her to forget certain things. To be our friend again while still remembering other things about the situation. And it worked. All I wanted to do this time was open her up to us again. Tell me where you and Sarah were. I never meant to hurt her baby.”

You shake your head furiously, tears dripping down your cheeks. “You’re a murderer. A disgusting monster. I hate you.” Your words are venomous and acidic, and Steve almost flinches at them, shaking his head.

“That’s not true, (Y/n). I love you.”

You laugh, the sound manic and for a moment Steve’s concerned.

“This isn’t love, Steve, this is obsession! It’s unhealthy! You’ve got me trapped here against my will! Y-You’ve hurt me and raped me and now I’m supposed to pretend everything’s okay? I’m supposed to play the good little housewife while you go around kidnapping and killing women? Killing other people’s children?! No!”

You stand up and try to move past him but he grabs hold of your forearm, rising to his feet with you.

“You’re not going anywhere.” His eyes are fiery as he glares at you, but you’re not nearly as afraid as you once were. No. You’re just angry.

You glare at him, rage burning through your body as you yank free from his grip and walk out of the room.

“You leave this house and I won’t hesitate to drag your ass right back!” He shouts.

But you don’t plan on leaving.

Oh no.

Why does he deserve his happy ending so much more than everyone else?

You turn to face him once you reach the top of the stairs, your heart in your throat at what you’re about to do. The damage it could cause.

At least it’ll get your point across.

“Why do you deserve a baby so much more than Natasha?” He furrows his brows, trying to figure out what your next move is going to be.

“I’ve given my life over and over for this stupid pathetic world. I’ve sacrificed my happiness time and time again. Do I not deserve something good?”

You take a deep breath and shrug.

“Maybe you do. But not like this.”

With that, you turn around and let yourself fall down the stairs.

Steve tries to grab you, he really does, but he’s just not fast enough.

He watches you fall, tumble down the stairs then lay still at the bottom, and for a moment all he can do is stare.

Memories fill his mind. Of you falling down the stairs. Then bleeding. So much blood. And your baby... gone.

He nearly falls down the stairs himself in his haste to get to you, two fingers pressing first to your pulse, then his hand is pressed against your belly, trying desperately to feel for the fluttering kicks you told him about.

It takes a minute, maybe two, and then he feels a small press against his hand.

He lets out a breath of relief then grabs his phone, calling the doctor.

~*~

When the doctor assures him that both you and the baby are okay, he’s relieved. But that only lasts for a moment before anger takes hold, powerful and persistent.

You can feel the anger rolling off of him when you wake up, and for a moment you’re afraid.

But hopefully, you got your point across.

He doesn’t deserve another baby. Not if that’s what he wants. He’s a terrible human being. And bringing a baby into the world with him as the father should be a crime.

“Where’s Sarah?” You ask, hoping to keep him as calm as possible.

“She’s having a sleepover with Morgan over at Tony and Pepper’s.”

You nod, your stomach dropping as you realize you’re alone in the house with him and he’s beyond pissed off.

Your mind races back to all the times he’s punished you in the past, and you almost throw up with the anxiety coursing through your veins.

“You ever do anything like that again and I swear I’ll make you regret it. I won’t kill you, no. My baby needs his mommy, but I’ll make you hurt. You’re lucky I’m not doing anything to you now.”

You swallow hard and look away from him in disgust, only for him to grab your jaw and force you to look at him.

“You need to stop acting out like this. I told you what happened to the last asset who became a liability. Fury shot her point-blank. A clean shot between her pretty eyes. Then he left her to bleed out on the bedroom floor while he fixed Nat’s memory. S’why she’s even still here and with Bucky. If she remembered what he did to that poor girl... she’d have killed him herself by now. But he needs to outlet to keep the soldier at bay. And he deserves her. Deserves some happiness in his fucked up life.”

You shake your head, disagreeing strongly with every word he’s spoken.

They're monsters. Natasha less so. A victim, like you, maybe. But the two soldiers? Monsters. Monsters who don’t deserve any happiness. They deserve nothing but a slow painful death and an eternity in the fiery pits of Hell.

“I told you, (Y/n), I didn’t mean to hurt her baby. If I’d wanted to, I’d be rubbing it in her face more. Showing off your pregnancy more. And if you think I’m gonna hurt our baby, you’re wrong. I would never hurt my babies. It kills me that you think I’d ever do something like that.”

“Can you blame me? You’ve already killed at least one baby.”

A muscle in his jaw ticks and you regret your words.

“You know what? I think you really need a reminder of your place, sweetheart. You’re mine. Maybe not my wife, yet, but soon enough. Until then, you need to know that you belong to me.”

His grip on your face is painful, but you don’t make a single sound.

No, he’s not going to win.

He doesn’t want to hurt the baby or cause unnecessary strain, so he can’t have you on your stomach like he usually would.

So he makes the most of you lying on your back.

He grabs your wrists and binds them above your head, hooking them to the ring on the headboard despite your struggles.

“Steve, no! Please! I-I... Don’t hurt me, please!”

He cocks his head to the side, watching you wriggle and strain.

“You’re mine, (Y/n). You belong to me. There’s no one in this entire world who’ll help you. You’re my property. It’s time you realized that.”

A sick smile spreads across his face as he remembers what made you obedient last time.

“You know, I think I know exactly what you need.”

He climbs off the bed and drops to his knees, rooting under it until he finds his special black box.

You wriggle away furiously, trying to break free before he can hurt you, but deep down you know it’s all for not.

You squeeze your eyes shut as he sits back down on the bed, worming his way between your thighs and flipping your dress up over your extended stomach.

“Please don't,” you whimper uselessly.

He strokes your inner thighs gently, then leans down to spit on your centre.

You flinch away, tears leaking from your eyes as you realize what he’s going to do.

“Please don’t,” you repeat, only to be silenced by him pushing something far too big inside of you.

You cry out, your back arching and sending shoots of pain up to your scalp. The added weight of your baby makes everything ten times more painful, and you can't stop yourself from sobbing as he forces every last inch of the thick dildo into your unprepared cunt.

It burns. Fire spreads from between your legs up your spine and the tears don’t stop.

“Stop! Please! I’ll be good!” He knows you won’t. Or, he just doesn't believe you. You want the pain to stop but you’re not actually willing to change your behaviour for it. Not yet. But you will.

When the dildo is finally fully inside you, he climbs off the bed and shoves the box back underneath it. He adjusts his pants then walks to the door, pausing to look at your trembling figure on the bed.

Your shoulders shake with sobs, and he feels pride swell inside of him.

Good. Now you’ll finally learn.

“You’re gonna stay here until you learn your place. I don’t care how long it takes. When you’re ready to apologize and be a good girl, then we’ll talk. But until then...” He shuts off the light and pulls the door closed behind him, leaving you alone, in pain, and in the dark.

Memories of the last time this happened stab at your brain, and you quickly start hyperventilating.

What’s worse than that, though, is the tiny voice in your head telling you to get off your back. That it’s not good for the baby if you stay like this.

But no matter how much you scream or cry for him, Steve doesn’t come to the door once.

~*~

He leaves you there for hours, or maybe days. It’s so hard to tell.

The room is soundproof, so no one can hear your cries and you can’t hear anything outside.

Even if people could hear you, it doesn’t really matter now.

You’ve been on your back for so long that you’re starting to get dizzy.

During your first pregnancy, you learned only that it’s bad for the baby to sleep on your back. You didn’t think you’d be feeling the effects of it, too.

But here you are, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, mind spinning and lungs struggling to pull in enough air to satisfy you.

It must’ve been several hours ago that Steve left if you’re feeling such strong effects of it. You’re not sure what the technical term is, but you know that you probably don’t have much time left. Your baby has even less.

Your heart aches. Each beat makes sadness bloom in your soul and you can’t stop it.

New tears fall down your cheeks, and all you want is to reach down and caress your belly, apologize to the life growing inside of you.

Apologize for hurting them, for who their father is. For the life you’re bringing them into.

Nobody deserves that.

But now... now you might not have to worry.

Every passing second sends the walls around you spinning faster and faster and faster until all you can do is let your eyes fall closed.

Sleeping will probably make it better anyway, right?

As the darkness creeps up, seeps into your limbs and chases the pain away, you pray.

You’ve never really prayed much before, but you do today.

You send a prayer to any and all Gods, the old ones and the new, and you ask for forgiveness.

You pray for the safety of your unborn child, and for that of Sarah.

A deep part of your brain knows that you may never open your eyes, and you want your daughter to know that you love her. That she means the world to you and you’ll do all that you can to protect her.

Thinking about Sarah brings a wave of strength seemingly out of nowhere, and for a moment you wonder if the Gods heard you. If this is them sending their aid.

You take a few deep breaths, building up as much strength as you can, and try your luck one last time.

“I’m sorry.”

Your voice isn’t nearly as loud as it should be, and the room is so thickly padded that there’s no way he can hear you.

Hopelessness floods your body and you fall into it.

Your sorrow distracts you from the darkness until it takes hold of you and pulls you down, away from the world of pain that you’ve been trapped in.

And you feel peace.