#hopefully this was still somewhat coherent

[unsanctioned-if]

"Unsanctioned" demo will be up again soon

Having spent the past two days experimenting with speech to text and seeing how it feels to write, I have discovered that the former is very difficult to do for me when it comes to fictional writing which tbh I suspected would be the case, and the latter is also extremely difficult for me to manage with the injury even when it comes to coding and editing. It can be done, but...very slowly. In my last post I said that I would wait a week, but unfortunately I don't think it will make much of a difference.

With that in mind, I have decided to put the demo out (still) in its incomplete state. I will get back to working on it as soon as I am able to. Hopefully it should still be a smoother experience now compared to when it was released last month.

In the meantime, I will focus more on brainstorming, world building and working on stuff that doesn’t require as much direct writing and coding.

I also want to address the feedback I've gotten and the errors people have reported. I have tried to get to all of them, but some I have not been able to locate. I think it could in part be because of the different race + background variables to consider and how these sometimes mix and give different text. I have probably missed some entirely because of my own inattentiveness as well, and for that I’m sorry.

If you play the demo and notice errors or oddities, it would be very helpful and appreciated if you would send a message to my inbox and attach a screenshot so that I can see exactly where this happens since it is so much easier to find the errors exactly that way. Thank you so, so much to everyone who has been helping me with that <3

I will also get to answering more asks. I will try doing it using speech to text and then fixing it to make it sound somewhat coherent like I am doing right now. Sorry it's taking me so long to get to them.

I hope that I can get back to working on this story soon - if you read it and have any thoughts on it I would love to hear them!

[some-internet-stranger]

revalink!!

https://www.tumblr.com/dizzying-faust/614856861677699072?source=share

(Answering that Other ask gave me the motivation to answer this one as well)

Thank you for the ask, it was a TON of fun, even If it took me forever to answer. Also, a little warning, this Post is LONG as HECK and Kind of rambly

Revalink- Ship It!!!!!!!

What made you ship it?

I played Breath of the Wild in 2021 during the lockdown because I was finally bored enough I guess? (Funfact, I actually hated Botw before it came Out, because I was a little hater and didn't Like that the Zelda formula was changing lolol). The important takeaway Here is, that I already knew the Story and all memory cutscenes before I played it. The Other cutscenes Not included were new to me, however.

Revali was the first Champion I ended up saving (revali's gale is the best ability and I needed it for the towers). I was faintly aware of the existence of Revalink but never seriously considered it. Now while I was freeing the Terminals and got Bits and pieces of dialogue I thought that it was funny to interpret Revali having a crush on Link and that being the reason he's so mean to him. And it is funny tbh, but at that Point it was Just a joke to me.

And then came the fight against Wind blight, and oh. The dialogue right before?? The dialogue after?????? I should mention at this point that I played the Game in German, so many translations were different. In english, right before the fight, Revali said something along the lines of "Good luck (...) I only lost because I was winging it" and german He tells Link to be careful ("be careful, you hear me?")(also the delivery of that line, bro, voice actor was Not messing around) This in on itself didn't make me ship it, but it Set the tone.

The scene after the fight when Revali is saved and gives Link His gale... I almost dont know how to Put it into words, but the tension in this Scene? When He Looks at Link as If waiting for him to say something? When He Turns around "nevermind Just Go"??? It feels Like there are so many Things left unsaid, Like There's so much more to be said, even though their relationship is technically wrapped up at this point? It honestly caught me so off guard. Not one Scene with any of the Other Champions has this Kind of tension, Not even mipha (who is a Love interest for Link).

Well, then I went on Tumblr and my fate was basically sealed, lol.

TL:DR: because I played the game

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I Love the Potential of this ship! Theres so many ways how this can be insanely funny (this is one sided rivals to lovers, does it get any better than that?), it can be so incredible sad (death!! Amnesia!! Letting Go!!! One sided!!! Unspoken!!! Not meant to be!!! Lots of Other Things Im forgetting!!)

Its INSANE how Well they Work together, especially since I doubt it was done on purpose.

I have so many more thoughts, but I can't Put them together properly, so I'll leave it at that. The next point is Sort of a continuation of what I Love about this ship anyway

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

The fact that this ship isnt Canon and will/can never be canon is actually one of the best things about it, in my opinion (dont know If its an unpopular opinion)

It fits right in, in a way.

I Love it when two characters are written in a way, were they Sort of complete each other. Where they Share parallels, goals, have opposing personalities that still Match somehow, where they are each Others Drive and Motivation. Where their Stories Just fit so Well together that you know that they were clearly written for each other.

Link and Revali were Not meant to work Well together, Not Like this at least. Of course Revali was written as a foil to Link (correct me If I'm wrong please, I think this was the Case), so them being opposing is intentional.

If you think about these characters for a certain amount of time, Just slightly more in depth, you will find yourself with the revelation that they are so very similar, they would likely be able to be friends If they Just worked through their differences. But they never do! They never have the time/ are too caught Up in pushing others away in their own ways. They could have been something, but never ended Up being.

This ties so nicely into the theme of destiny and fate (kinda.... I feel Like despite setting this Up as a theme, botw doesnt really Go anywhere with it, so it mostly works nicely in fanfiction and such... Although, If you think I missed something about botw, pls let me know. I'm Not an expert on themes)

Theyre doomed by the narrative and the narrative Said they could never be, so they never were (Its kinda fun how that element is true in the real world as Well as in game)(is what I'm getting at)(theyre Not written as Love interests but MAN do they Work as a romantic couple)(cruel, poetic, amazing, ughhh?!???)(them working Well together as a couple was a coincidence, which again, opposes the destiny thing)(this ship has me in a chokehold, can you Tell)

I'm Just saying a bunch of words, I Hope they make sense... I might have also went off the rails a bit... Eh

If you're still here, thank you so much for reading!!

I do actually really Love answering my Inbox and playing ask games, pls dont let my imcompetence to answer them in a timely manner discourage you from sending one😅😅

[lvndosnorris]

hii! do u think u could write a little something for charles where he accidentally starts speaking in french mid sex, but u have no idea what he’s saying so u have to occasionally let him know cause the pleasure just gets too much for him and his brain can’t process anything

oh i love this — my first charles req too! i did have to translate some bits because my french is diabolical but hopefully it's okay!

charles' whimpers were becoming more and more hoarse; barely coherent as you cupped the side of his face, stroking the corner of his mouth with your thumb as you stilled your movements. much to the dismay of your boyfriend, his eyes shooting open and eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he stared curiously at you. the pleasure had stilled, only slightly though as you clenched around him instinctively.

hands on your hips he pushed down, desperate for you to quit your stupid little games and carry on riding him — and it somewhat worked. your cunt fluttering around his length as you finally lifted your hips before rocking back down again, continuing the self-indulgence with a soft moan.

this wasn't planned: your clothes strewn in the corner of the sitting room, your thighs either side of charles' as you bounced languidly, taking your time to tighten the all-too familiar knot that had formed in the pit of your stomach. charles' lids were heavy, swollen lips parted as he mumbled over and over, each word punctuated with a whine that you could only describe as desperate.

"mon ange— fait du bien—" spilling from his tongue as he pinched the flesh of your waist, palms soothing over the area as he half-arsed attempted to meet your thrusts halfway. head thrown back you watched the way his adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed back his noises, brain completely fuzzy at how tight you were, how warm.

you'd be lying if you said you understood him completely — too busy feeling your limbs go numb at the sound of your boyfriend as you slammed down on him with a little more force. you could feel your orgasm teetering, charles' little "j'ai besoin de toi" and "tu es si bon avec moi" falling on deaf ears as you pressed your forehead to his.

"i need to know what you're saying pretty boy," you whispered, lips ghosting his as you pushed yourself back. the new angle earned a filthy moan from your throat, a wave of pleasure cursing through your veins as he studied you through a darkened vision. but he couldn't stop himself — thoughts not even cohesive, fingers harsh as they dug deeper at the small of your back. almost dragging you up and down his cock in search of his own orgasm, completely oblivious to the words that were spilling from him.

* mon ange - my angel

** fait du bien - so good

*** j'ai besoin de toi - i need you

**** tu es si bon avec moi - you're so good to me

[thatgirlri]

Hiiii can you do a request where reader has a crush on Geto and gets all nervous around😭🍓

Hii! Of course I can pookie! Thank you sm for my first request 💕🥺

Look me in the eyes

suguru geto X Shy!Reader headcannons

No TW! Femreader not proofread, so sorry for any mistakes :3

💕Being a sorcerer was always about confidence and standing your ground, there was no room for shyness at all, actually being a sorcerer was what bought you out of that shy like comfort zone, yet that’s what you thought until you had met a certain someone.

💕Now mind you, when you didn’t have to mingle you didn’t, you kept to yourself UNLESS you had missions or training with someone, but nope you being a loner only attracted way more attention from A outgoing, somewhat annoying white haired man.

💕“Y/n!! What are ya doing all alone! Come hang out with us!” you could hear his voice literally from miles away, and before you could even look up and say no he was already approaching you with another person, a dark hair man with a calm expression resting on his face.

“Gojo I’m busy..” You tried to mumble out only for him to immediately interrupt

“Too busy for us? Come onnn, you haven’t even met my best friend!!”

💕With a soft sigh you finally managed to look up and almost immediately locked eyes with his so called best friend. You literally felt like your heart had skipped around 50 beats, because holy hell was that man attractive.

“..Nice to meet you, I’m Suguru..” His voice, dear lord-, you opened your mouth to speak only to hear yourself stutter like a middle schooler

“I..I’m..uh..I’m..I..”

“Her names Y/n” Gojo to the rescue- well that’s what you think until you see that evil ass smirk

“Yeah..im Y/n..” and that’s where it all began.

💕Everytime you would get around Geto your behavior would drastically change, from calm, cool and collected to a stuttering blushing mess.

💕Gojo was the first to pick up on this little crush of yours, always finding ways to bring Geto around you just to see that cool demeanor of yours collapse like a tower on an unstable foundation, and yes you hated him for it.

💕“Well while you two..chat up, I’m gonna get some drinks” He knew exactly, what he was doing, and now you found yourself all alone with the one man who made your heart flutter with just his words alone.

💕You refuse to make eye contact with him, your glance down as you fidgeted with your hands, it was quiet for just a moment until he spoke up.

“You know..I don’t bite right?”

💕You cleared your throat and tried to form a coherent sentence without making a fool of yourself…

“Well..yeah I know..I’m just..doing me..” You managed to reply.

“..is that so?…then look at me..”

💕Right then and there you felt like you could melt, you wanted to prove to yourself that no man Could make you weak in the knees. You wanted to look him dead in the eyes just to show him that you could, but..you couldn’t. You froze

💕Just then, then you felt a hand gently slide under your chin, your head turned to face Geto, that same smile that made you feel all melty inside on his face.

“Again, I don’t bite..”

💕Your heart nearly pumped out of your chest, your face heated, that man did something to you that even god himself couldn’t explain.. and you didn’t like it..you loved it

A/N: AHHH my first request! Thank you once again for it, and hopefully it lived up to your expectations for it! I tried to take my time on this one and make it more fanfic type of style! But other than that I hope yall enjoyed it! And my request are still open!

[gloufiz]

Okay...

I need people to hear me out on this one:

Garroth and Nicole in a cringe-fail political marriage!

Stay with me here! I promise I'm only a little crazy.

Alright, now that I've at least somewhat captured your attention... let me explain myself!

This concept sprang up from the idea of: What if Nicole and Garroth didn't run away from their arranged marriage?

As is described in MCD, the reason why we meet both Garroth and Nicole is because they were running from the marriage that was being forced upon them by their fathers. This marriage was supposed to broker peace between Scaleswind and O'Khasis and strengthen their bond. The idea of having to do this though, deeply disturbed Nicole and Garroth, which is why they both fled prior to the arrangement. This is the beginning to many events in cannon.

Now, in this thought experiment, that doesn't happen. Garroth and Nicole, despite their desires to not get married, also seem like the type that would care about their people deeply, so it isn't too farfetched to think that they could be persuaded to stay in order to protect their people. The pair wouldn't be thrilled about it, obviously, but they would go through with it, albeit begrudgingly. Then the two would stay in O'Khasis instead of running off to Phoenix Drop.

In their union, Scaleswind and O'Khasis would become a force to be reckoned with, and hopefully a little less corrupt with Zane's influence being reduced in Garroth's presence. Garroth and Nicole would put up a front in for the public that they enjoyed being married, though in private they would get on each other's nerves.

Romantically, they are not compatible, but they eventually carve out a mutual respect and become friends. It takes a lot of arguments and coming to terms with the situation, but they make do. So, when Garte puts Garroth in charge of the Jury of Nine a little later to provide him with some "leadership experience," Garroth turns to Nicole for help.

She winds up helping him run the Jury, even advising to have Zane help to reduce some of the sting of Garte's favoritism. They keep the Jury on a more morally correct path, though Zane is still allowed to run around and search for relics with the Jury, which is what eventually leads the group to meeting Aphmau.

Unfortunately, the tone of the meeting probably wouldn't be the most friendly with Zane involved, but that's neither here nor there!

Anyway, this is just some thoughts I've had as I pondered an AU where Garroth stays behind in O'Khasis! I hope this is coherent, though I will probably word barf about this again at some other point in time... as is the life of someone who has been bit by the MCD virus for 10 years...

TL;DR:

Garroth and Nicole stayed instead of fleeing from their arranged marriage and they deal with it with a few minor hiccups.

[veliseraptor]

November Reading Recap

Dead Astronauts by Jeff Vandermeer. Either I'm not smart enough to follow this book or it's just not terribly coherent as a novel, and either of those is equally possible, to be honest. I am finding that I like Vandermeer's earlier work on the whole more than his later work, though.

I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons by Peter S. Beagle. A fun romp. It didn't blow me away, or anything, but it was a lot of fun.

The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle. I remain most attached to the move adaptation of this novel, unfortunately, so that's always in my head when I'm reading. But despite that, or maybe because of it, this novel still delights me. It's like a warm blanket.

Catching Chen Qing Ling: The Untamed and Adaptation, Production, and Reception in Transcultural Contexts ed. by Cathy Yue Wang and Maria K. Alberto. I was very excited to read this book! I was thrilled when I saw that a collection of academic essays on The Untamed was coming out. Not all the essays in the collection are created equally, naturally, but I particularly appreciated the ones about the morality police in the fandom and the one focusing on (the violence of) translation to English. What I missed from this specific volume was more analysis of the text itself as a literary object, but that wasn't the remit of this collection, and I certainly hope that more studies will be forthcoming.

Cassiel's Servant by Jacqueline Carey. Mostly this book made me want to reread the Kushiel's Legacy series; I'm not sure if that is praise or an enticement of this book itself. I wasn't enchanted with it on the whole, though that might be because Joscelin was never the character I was most attached to. I would read the shit out of an alt POV from Melisande.

Golden Witchbreed by Mary Gentle. Finally finished this book after stalling out on it for literal months. It was interesting! Conceptually and in execution. It did feel very much like it was written in the 80s (which it was), though without the kind of objectionable stuff I would've expected. A review of it did describe it as having a "leisurely opening" which I would say is accurate.

Devils Kill Devils by Johnny Compton. I really liked The Spite House so I definitely wanted to pick up this one, and while I liked the former more this was also a really fun take on vampires unlike what I've read before. I'm picky about my horror (I'd say I don't like most of what I read) but I'll bestow the "horror I actually liked" crown on this one.

Persians: The Age of the Great Kings by Lloyd Llewellyn-Jones. For a book that was really emphasizing that it was going to lean on Persian sources rather than Greek ones for a less Greek-biased version of Persian history, it certainly felt like the author ended up relying a fair amount on Greek sources. That being said, I learned more about the (early) Persian Empire than I have before, so it was edifying in that way, if not a particularly outstanding book.

Blood of the Old Kings by Sung-Il Kim, trans. Anton Hur. I'm very glad to see that this book is apparently the beginning of a series and not finished, because while I enjoyed it as a whole the ending felt a little rushed and far too neat for me. So hopefully that will be complicated in further volumes, which I probably will read. The use of dead necromancers to power an empire is, on its own, a very neat worldbuilding conceit, and I think that (interesting worldbuilding) more than character is the appeal of this work to me.

Remnants of Filth: Vol. 5 by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou. I continue to really enjoy this one despite the fact that the initial lure has abated somewhat in the course of the plot. I'm excited to see where this goes - this volume included a plot twist I definitely didn't see coming, which is always fun. It's not my favorite danmei I've read but it is a standout.

Don't Fear the Reaper by Stephen Graham Jones. I don't know quite why I keep reading this series when I'm not really a slasher fan and it is clearly tailored toward the slasher fan. I mean, it's certainly meant to have broader appeal as a horror novel, but it is a slasher first and foremost, and I'm just not that into that subgenre. I think it's because I want to be into it. I can recognize a good book when I read one, though; just not for me.

I Was a Teenage Slasher by Stephen Graham Jones. On the other hand, the above all being said: I actually really enjoyed this one! It was certainly playing with a lot of the same tropes but in a more, idk, playful sort of way that I enjoyed. Definitely heavy lampshading, so if that doesn't work for you then this book won't. But for me at least, it did what it was trying to do.

The Stars My Destination by Alfred Bester. I'm looking forward to hearing what people in my book club have to say about this one. I will say that the rape felt unnecessary and it definitely read like sci-fi written in the 50s by a man. I don't think I can say that I liked it. I'm not sure I can say I hated it, either, but I definitely didn't like it.

Vita Nostra by Marina & Sergey Dyachenko, trans. Julia Meitov Hersey. I've had this one on my shelf for a long time and it was good to finally read it! For someone who says she doesn't read a lot of 'magical school' books I've certainly read a lot this year, but this one is probably the most interesting and definitely the most inventive of what I've read. Not necessarily my favorite, but I'm fascinated by what the author is doing. I know there's a sequel, and I'm torn on whether I want to read it or not; I'm curious where the author would go, but I'm also satisfied with the story as it's left at the end of this book.

Drowning Sorrows in Raging Fire by Priest. Possibly my favorite danmei I've read, and at this point I've read a few. It's not going to trigger my fic writing brain, I don't think, but that's mostly because it already gave me so much of what I wanted. It's very, very good in terms of the story it's telling, the themes of monstrosity and human weapons are right on point for what I like, and the plot is pretty damn tight and good at not sprawling the way some danmei is prone to. Fucking fantastic. I can't share the translation I read, but it's being published by Rosmei in English starting in January 2025.

---

I'm currently reading Challenger by Adam Higginbotham for a little bit of nonfiction (my first in a while, you may notice); after that I'm not sure what I'm going to read. I'm traveling at the end of this month, so it'll be a little dependent on what's on my Kobo/if the sequel to Feast of Souls by C.S. Friedman arrives in time/what books I find that I want to read at my parents' house.

[lisa-grdjc]

how should i even start…

im sorry in advance if some things don’t make sense, im still feeling like a mess that ep really did a number on me;-;

i think what really got me was that so far we have never seen someone as kind as takaaki getting that upset before, to the point where he became physically violent.

and that goes for hiro as well.

two young men who let their emotions get the best of them after months of running away from their problems and calling each other out on it, when they weren’t in the right headspace and both battling with their own inner struggles. hypocrisy, to put it bluntly…

we have takaaki, who i assume has been dealing with guilt of some sort (making assumptions for now since we don’t have the full story yet, it seems), guilt over running away from his family after his kid brother’s death, over not going to visit his grave for reasons we’ve yet to know, and so on… what i can confidently say is that, it’s complicated.

meanwhile, hiro is scared. he’s scared of dying, so much that he’d rather look away and pretend everything is fine (which is understandable…).

he keeps putting off his hospital appointment, because if he goes, and the doctor tells him the same thing he did six months ago and this time takaaki is with him to hear it, there’s no running away from that anymore—funny thing is, it didn’t matter that much to him back then, but that was before knowing how fun fishing is and how warm and fuzzy dinners at the back of Everymart and a friend’s kindness feel. that might be what he is afraid of losing, along with his life.

and maybe, just maybe… thinking that takaaki might care and worry about him only out of guilt for the little brother he couldn’t save hurts way more than hiro can admit but i wouldn’t be too sure. takaaki’s always been super kind from the start, before finding out about hiro’s disease. (btw i still can’t think of a reasonable explanation for why he offered to take care of his debt and live at his home without asking for much in return, so that hiro, who he barely knew at the time, could get a fresh start…)

whoops im kinda straying from what i initially wanted to talk about and went off on a tangent but im not even really sorry these two lads and their relationship mean so much to me—

anyways. back to their fight… hopefully i still have a few somewhat coherent thoughts left in me but that would be overestimating my cognitive abilities…

cuz now all i can think about is how darn attractive takaaki looked during the whole scene—

and how when i said i wanted to see him pin hiro against the wall this isn’t exactly the context i had in mind…:(

genuinely wondering how come fictional men get ten times hotter the more miserable they feel… that’s crazy…

okay enough.

i want them to talk it out in the next ep. have a real, calm heart to heart. and a fucking hug

boy i need them to hug like their lives depend on it im so serious.

also huge props to hiro’s voice actor because holy shit these cries were gut wrenching i felt them in my soul—

[wolf-and-raven-dreaming]

Hey, love your work! How long do you typically spend on each page or does it vary? Could you tell us more about your process? Thanks!

Great question! Let me see if I can be somewhat coherent in my explanation.

Pages vary depending on what the scene shows. I try really hard to take a week for each page, only because of my work/life schedule and doing other adult things can be a challenge. If I'm lucky, with all my rendering, coloring, adding shadow/light and dialog, I can pop out a finished page in a few hours. Others, like one that is *hopefully* going to make an appearance soon, had taken a few days.

Some pages are already done long before we even got to that particular scene. One example would be page 115, I had that one sitting for 2 years before we finally got to it. I have many others either completely finished, nearly finished, or just sketches.

Sometimes, I follow my original rough sketch exactly as I saw it in my head, using post it notes or scraps of paper. Other times, I changed the scene completely when working on it, and the whole scene took a whole new turn.

It's still going in the direction I want, but let's face it, there's A LOT of WORK.

I hope this answers some of your questions!

[allergic-to-four-leaf-clovers]

okay I'm somewhat coherent now but not asleep, I'm not bothered to copy and paste it into all of my moots dms but I am feeling cheesy

before I go to bed, I just wanna say how thankful I am of you lot. my first time meeting people online a couple years ago was less than pleasant, and it still sometimes comes back to haunt me. I have a lot to learn, I'm still young and stupid, but knowing that there are wonderful, talented people out there who I know would never hurt me (hint: you) makes me feel so much better about the world, and I finally feel like the past is the past

thank you for being kind and, overall, incredible people I would trade the world for ♥️♥️ I know I don't interact with some of you as much as I'd like to, but you all fit in my heart like little puzzle pieces I've been looking for for a very, very long time

(feel free not to interact with this if you're not comfortable with it, I'm just spilling my heart for you lot before I go sleep)

@corvidat @whumpy-wyrms @creppersfunpalooza @toyybox @kiratheperson @finleyforevermore @cepheusgalaxy @jellybeanbasilleaf and many more of you in the future. hopefully

[shouldhavebeenpersephone]

In GTN chapter 36, Cytherea says “None of you have learned how to die gracefully. I learned over 10,000 years ago"

Do you know/have a theory as to how Cyth could have learned anything pre-resurrection? She was not one of the original lyctors present for the resurrection and it was only 10,000 years ago. It could be hyperbole but I am suspicious of the “over 10,000 years”.

Thank you so much for the ask! I wanted to take my time with it, I hope you didn't mind the wait.

I actually had been chewing on this with my most recent GtN reread. Bear with me as I cut and paste all the pieces that form my thoughts on this - hopefully it's somewhat coherent to read.

Could "over 10000 years" be a hyperbole? Maybe. A lot of characters tell the 'truth' as far as they believe it to be so even if it's factually incorrect. I don't think, however, that Tamsyn would make Cytherea say it in this specific way if it was a hyperbole. In GtN chapter 35 where Palamedes confronts Cytherea we get the following lines, which are what feed my intuition about this:

"Don't lie to me, please."

Dulcinea said, "I have never lied to any of you."

Cytherea has no reason to lie, especially not after being confronted by Palamedes. She tells him herself - she has been giving pieces of the truth and using those to manipulate the narrative. Because of this and because it's much more fun if it isn't a hyperbole I see no point to dismiss it as an emotional inaccuracy.

So let's say she is over 10,000 years old. How does that work?

First thing I went looking for while trying to figure this out was the question of Cytherea's birth. On the fandom wiki, it states that Cytherea was born into the established Seventh. I have been combing through the books, and I cannot find anything in canon that truly confirms this. What we do know of the timeline and her age is the following from HtN chapter 9:

"When they first brought her to Canaan House, I thought there'd been some mistake. - She was just shy of thirty then, I recall. -

-Was she the first gen, or second?"

"Second," said God. "Early second. We were still experimenting with getting the Sixth installation up and running. Some of the Houses were empty."

Mercymorn spoke up: "No. We had it running by then. Because Valancy was with us, and Anastasia."

-"Yes, you're right. We were all there to meet her. All sixteen of us -

'Some of the houses were empty' is the important line here, because in NtN John 5:4 Harrow describes how the resurrection happened:

-You resurrected some of them. You wake up fewer still. You start out with a few thousand, then, later, some hundred thousand, then millions, but never more than millions. You teach them how to live all over again. You teach yourself. -

The houses are named in order of resurrection. The Seventh, then, comes after the Sixth, which should make it obvious that by the time Cytherea arrived the Sixth was already established - or the Seventh wouldn't have existed. Yet, for some reason, for John this is not as obvious. I have found what could be an explanation in HtN chapter 2:

He said, "No. I haven't truly resurrected anyone in ten thousand years. But at that time... I set many aside, for safety... and I've often felt bad about just keeping them as insurance. They've been asleep all this myriad, Harrow, -

The difference wouldn't be as obvious to John, because he didn't resurrect the houses one by one. He resurrected a chunk of the earth's population, kept them dormant, and piece by piece woke them up to populate the houses. Beyond the fact that Cytherea is never said to have been born on the Seventh in canon (again, to my knowledge - please correct me if I missed it), the following from HtN chapter 2 really seals the deal in my eyes that she was not born on the Seventh but rather woken up for the Seventh.

The emperor said gently, "She needs to go home, Harrow."

"That was never her home," he said.

You did not look. "And will the Seventh House accept her?"

I also considered John might feel Cytherea belongs at home with the other Lyctors and therefore denies that the Seventh is her home, but then remembered the following from the same chapter:

He said, "No Lyctor has ever returned home, once we understood the reprecussions... no Lyctor except one, who knew I would come to intercept her for that very reason."

He is talking about how Harrow cannot go home to the Ninth, and referring to Cytherea going home by returning to Canaan house located on earth. John also talks about the kind of people he resurrected in NtN John 5:4:

-We'll get them all back... some of them, anyway... or at least, the ones I want to bring back. Anyone I feel didn't do it. Anyone I feel had no part in it. Anyone I can look at the face of and forgive. -

Part of the same chapter I included above in combination with this one make me itchy almost. Harrow says 'You teach them how to live all over again.' That almost feels like it should be people who recently learned how to live. Like John only resurrected kids.

Think about it. He resurrects his loved ones and ones he can forgive. People who did not take part in the destruction of earth in his eyes. Who other than children could he really be talking about? Children, babies, who have no power to decide or influence to exert, who - even if they did have the power - do not have the capacity to understand the consequences of their actions. Whose memories will be easiest to erase because there is so little to begin with.

It then also makes sense why there were two generations of Lyctors. The population he woke up had to grow up into adults first. Why else would he have half a band of Lyctors trying to settle all of the Houses? If he was able to pick adults worthy of resurrection, he would have been able to pick adults capable of establishing his houses and becoming his hands and gestures.

One final point that drives this home is the following from the very beginning of GtN in chapter 7 when Teacher tells the Ninth about Dulcinea's condition:

"Dulcinea Septimus was not meant to live to twenty-five,"-

Dulcinea's hereditary disease is the same as Cytherea's. John did not know she was sick when she first was brought to Canaan house, which means that when he resurrected her, she must have been young enough to not be actively dying yet. Perhaps a toddler or a child who had been sick for some time - long enough to know what it feels like to slowly be dying.

So, all in all, my answer is that Cytherea was not born on the Seventh. I am not sure where the idea that the second generation was born on their planets of origin came from, but I honestly doubt any of them were born instead of woken. Cytherea claiming to have learned something 10,000 years ago would be a great way for Tamsyn to give us just enough to figure it out - this is, after all, the same author who gave us the big reveal of the second book in the first sentence of the first book of her series.

[graciereadshannigram]

Hi! You don’t know me, I’m not a mutual and I’m new and essentially inactive so far on Tumblr aside from setting up my profile, so please prepare for an extremely random interaction. I’m clinging hard to the anonymous function here. I’m a somewhat new writer on ao3 in the Hannibal fandom. I’m mid 30s so maybe that’s part of it, but I know no one in the fandom world at all. Not in person or online. I just finally decided to try out writing after many years of reading and I’ve been loving it. Like you (based on your pinned post), I’ve historically mostly written academically and professionally, and flexing those muscles in this way is such a pleasure. I’ve read a lot of your stories on Ao3 and I loved them all. And you pop up a lot on the Hannibal dashboard on Tumblr and seem to be a pretty kind person, so I thought you might be someone I could ask this somewhat awkward question without judgment: how did you go about building your fannibal community (I’m just going off of tumblr comments in assuming that you have a fannibal fam)? Now that I’m writing, the urge to chat about random Hannibal thoughts or bounce ideas is overwhelming, and I get the impression most people have their fannibal crew as an outlet for that. Right now I’m just annoying the hell out of my completely disinterested partner who thinks I’m losing my mind lol. So I’m trying to figure out if there’s something I’m missing about how people connect in this world or if it’s just Tumblr and Ao3 and a stroke of luck? If you think this is weird, please feel free to leave me on read lol. No hard feelings at all, I feel weird enough about this as it is. But if you have any advice and wouldn’t mind sharing, I’d welcome it. Thanks and thanks for all your great writing!  

omg hi, this is such a sweet ask! genuinely honored that you'd reach out to me at all <3

funny you should mention annoying the hell out of your partner because SAME lolol that's what drove me to start this account in the first place.

so. i'm going to attempt to give a coherent response here, please bear with me.

when i first started out, i pretty much mass followed anybody who had a hannibal-related account and then just started interacting with people. it was mostly just commenting on or reblogging other people's stuff, and i felt wayyyyyyyy out of my comfort zone because, historically, i've been a massive lurker.

then i decided i wanted to do my monthly hannigram fic rec posts because i was tracking that data anyway and i just wanted to do something with it other than just letting it all rot in the spreadsheet never to see the light of day again. and turns out, a lot of people like to ask for and give fic recs! so that was a cool way to find cool myoots.

and then i got the itch to write and started to post Reciprocal Alchemy and was utterly blown away by the response people had. off the top of my head, @incidentsofunknownorigins, @coffee-in-rain, and @serri-i were all very vocally supportive from the jump and i pretty much was like, "hi we're going to be friends, no you don't have a choice, no i'm not sorry" lolol

and then i just kept writing and more people kept engaging (i'm still geeking over the fact that so many people enjoy my writing and are kind enough to make sure i know they like it <3) and here we are?? i think it was helpful that i linked my tumblr at the end of every chapter or fic that i post so people who find me on ao3 can come say hi here as well.

oh and i posted an insane amount of content in a very short amount of time for a popular event (kinktober was almost the death of me lolol) and that resulted in a wide variety of people seeing and reading my stuff.

all that is to say, you're pretty spot on with the tumblr/ao3/stroke of luck combination!

i have no idea if any of this was helpful for you, but hopefully something in here is :)

also, would love to be mutuals!! some of my best fic ideas come from random conversations i've had with other friends and writers, so let's go insane over these gay cannibals together!

all of my love, Grace

[rosettyller]

How the minisodes/flashbacks serve to inform Aziraphale and Crowley's frames of mind, and their decisions in 2x06: a meta

part 1: victorian minisode [tag]

I'm sure other people have talked about this a lot, and I did touch on this in my meta here, but all the same, I'd like to sit down and actually get all my thoughts on the matter out somewhat coherently.

I think some people have had some difficulty accepting Aziraphale's decision at the end of 2x06, so it's really a good thing that these flashbacks - which appear to be all from aziraphale's point of view - were including, as they provide a lot of context to aziraphale and crowley's relationship, and why they chose what they did.

The minisode begins right after the intro; before the intro, we have Muriel visiting Aziraphale (and Crowley) to spy on them.

(Please excuse Muriel's blink here, kmplayer was being a nightmare)

It's already been pointed out by many people how this is basically the same as police spying on / targeting queer people, which is again reinforced in the 1941 minisode.

But it brings to the forefront of Aziraphale's mind Heaven and Hell's surveillance of them, which is quite explicit in the Victorian minisode.

Beginning with Aziraphale's bookshop and shots of his diary establishes it is his flashback.

Crowley and Aziraphale are meeting up for a date casual meeting. There's no pretence of business, not even the Arrangement. They're beginning to feel safe(r) in their relationship - it's been almost 6 000 years, and they haven't been caught.

(more under the cut)

This minisode is more focused around morals, and it's set up straight away:

Elspeth wants to keep herself and her partner alive. If she doesn't do this, they're dead, and she's not actually hurting anyone.

Crowley likes causing a bit of trouble, and furthermore, he understands her position. He doesn't agree with the Don't Do This Because God Said So, and sees a) a person not hurting anyone, but doing what they can to survive and b) someone willing to do anything to save someone they love

Aziraphale still thinks like an angel; God decides what is Good, and Bad, and God decided graverobbing is Bad. But Aziraphale isn't saying "stop doing this, you're going to hell because you're bad", he's saying "stop doing this, if you continue you're going to hell, because it's against God's will." he still thinks she can be redeemed.

Throughout this minisode, Aziraphale has big Main Character Energy (and Crowley had big Love Interest Energy), challenging Aziraphale's morals that he learnt from Heaven.

As is the case with all the couples in Good Omens, Elspeth/Morag parallel Crowley/Aziraphale. Morag worries about Elspeth being condemned to hell, just as Aziraphale did.

Crowley and Aziraphale have their conversation straight from the books, about people who are poor having more opportunities to be good.

Apparanently, some people are saying this is OOC for Aziraphale, but I disagree. I think it sounds like exactly the kind of thing Heaven has said, over and over again, something Aziraphale believes because Heaven is Good, and because he wants to believe it, that those who are impoverished have a chance. (I had anther thought here, but I've forgotten it. Hopefully it'll come back to me.)

[Brief cut to Aziraphale & the yellow Bentley, Crowley's matchmaking attempt, then back to the minisode.]

Aziraphale miracles the corpse, in an attempt to prevent Elspeth from sin. However, this means she loses money that would help keep her and Morag alive. We can see from Crowley's glare here that he's not impressed - that Aziraphale would take away Elspeth's choice to risk hell to keep herself and Morag alive.

Aziraphale, Crowley and Dalrymple have a conversation in which Dalrymple explains he's doing it to help people, and Aziraphale starts coming around to his point of view, running out of reasons to argue with it.

Look at Aziraphale's face when he finds out the tumour was a seven year old boy's, and that he died. He's horrified, and then he looks like he's about to cry. (Not screencapped here, but he glances in Crowley's direction, and Up)

His hands are shaking when he hugs the jar to his chest.

Dalrymple reinforces again he's just trying to save lives, and then:

Aziraphale looks down, thinking over what he said, thinking about the dead boy.

[Back to present, Aziraphale arrives in Edinburgh.]

Aziraphale is delighted by his revelation, and shares with Elspeth that it's alright now, because it alleviates human suffering.

In voiceover/diary, Aziraphale states, "Having realised the error of my ways, I resolved to assist Elspeth and wee Morag in their noble quest to decrease human suffering."

This reflects Aziraphale's rather black-and-white view of the world; they're no longer sinners, but heroes, rather than just two girls trying to survive.

When the watch is alerted, Aziraphale opens a tomb to help them shelter. He's committed.

Crowley sends the watchmen down a hole. Rather more severe than Aziraphale's reaction.

Morag dies while Aziraphale is busy giving a big speech on how he's going to save her.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about the purpose of this (not Morag's death itself). The only conclusion I've arrived at is it's making a point about how even if you have a Realisation, and you change your mind and your morals, that doesn't undo the hurt you've done in the past. But I don't really like that.

Upon the suggestion of Elspeth taking Morag's body to Dalrymple, Aziraphale is horrified.

Note how Crowley is in the dark, Aziraphale in the light, while Crowley is the devil on Aziraphale's shoulder, whispering in his ear.

This challenges Aziraphale's newfound Realisation, bringing it closer to home.

(Crowley spends a lot of this minisode lurking in the dark behind Aziraphale's shoulder)

Crowley is decidedly less active in this minisode than Aziraphale, but here he goes big (literally), and saves Elspeth from suicide. Not Aziraphale, the angel.

Crowley brings up sinning again, and suggests to Aziraphale that he give his money to Elspeth, as it's what she needs to live a good life. (Aziraphale's stil a bit iffy at first, but he gives it)

I think this reflects, to an extent, Aziraphale's lack of initiative - he doesn't do things (or isn't supposed to) without Heaven telling him to. Such as the way they limit his miracles. He's not able to see a person suffering, and miraculously fix their life. And while Crowley is watched, and restricted, Hell certainly don't complain when he comes up with the brilliant plan on his own that secures them lots of souls (eg. Spanish Inquisition, French Revolution).

And then we have the lovely moment, Aziraphale reaching for Crowley and guiding him, Crowley saying, "Where are you?"

Aziraphale's hands on Crowley's hips - they do physical contact now

Their positioning is reminiscent of the Wall Slam scene.

And we know Crowley didn't have to drink it - he could have miracled it away, poured it on the floor, whatever. And it definitely did affect him, and yes it was funny, but Crowley's dialogue here reinforces why he did this: Hell is watching.

(and now here's the part where I actually get to the point of this meta. in case you've forgotten, it's how the minisodes provide context for the Final Fifteen)

Heaven and Hell are watching Aziraphale and Crowley - we know it's constant, if not always active, from the Earth Observation Files photos of them together in S1.

And Crowley is aware of this - has he been caught before? Anyway, he has an excuse (that can be verified) all ready to go if he's recalled to Hell.

(I also think it's a bit of a defence - in the Wall Slam scene as well - because Crowley disagrees with Heaven's definition of Good)

When Crowley gets dragged to Hell, Aziraphale is left alone in the cold, dark graveyard.

His voiceover, "And that was the last I was to see of Crowley for quite some time," reflects that this diary entry is written some time after Crowley was taken, and they've since met up again. This means Aziraphale has had a long time to (over)think about what was done to him.

What Aziraphale sees is, Crowley is good. He does good things. And when he does good things, he needs to disguise it so he can excuse it to Hell. And when he fails in that, he is punished by Hell.

Why wouldn't Aziraphale want Crowley back in the fixed Heaven? Where he can help people in safety, without fear of punishment?

And if he can learn, why can't the other angels?

[moodymisty]

I see you don't have a lot of Samael posts. Might I request a nsfw ask with Samael x s/o. Let's say they grow really close over a long period of time, and finally s/o decides to lay with him. He obliges and does some magic stuff to make himself about the same size as the Horsemen (I feel this makes it easier). The rest is up to you, go wild, have fun. Enjoy! I look forward to hopefully seeing what you come up with, cause your Samael writing is definitely getting better!!!

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙| 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's Note: Hey friend, sorry this took so long. I wanted to let it stew like a fine broth (i forgot) so I hope you enjoy it. A little short, but I didn't want you to wait around any longer.

Summary: Sure, you've never been a religious person, but you didn't think you'd find yourself taking the saying 'Sleeping with the Devil' so literally.

Relationships: Samael/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, I kept mentions of Samael's size mostly vague, Biting, Bruises, Size difference, Fluff?

Word Count: 793

You feel teeth on your neck; Sharp, ruthless fangs that brush across your skin with a gentleness unbecoming of them. Maybe it's the thought that he's being so gentle, maybe it's just the feeling- but either way, you pleasurably sigh in response.

His rough skin presses against your spine and the backs of your thighs, as he drives you into the mattress. He's slow, but you wouldn't say he's going easy on you. You can feel the overwhelming heat from him, the puffs of hot breath against your neck as he leaves it covered in marks that'll surely bruise or at least be achy for the next while, the way his weight feels just to much.

You want nothing else. It's the only thing you've thought about for months.

His wings shift as he lays overtop you, still tucked somewhat close to his body but still laying around you; If someone entered the room, they'd barely be able to see your form.

In a way it's as if he's smothering you; Consuming you as his hot, scaled skin brushes against your own.

"You're so soft, little one."

You don't feel soft, you feel wound tight like a spring about to snap, nails digging into sheets already ruined by the nature of a demon being on them. He wasn't meant for them, he wasn't meant for this bed as his body spills off of it like a glass overflowing with wine; He wasn't meant for you.

But you don't care about any of that nonsense, by whatever god is listening if any you'll make it work.

Your back arches, pushes your hips back into his as he fucks you at such a languid pace, even though it still has your face feeling boiling hot. It feels like he's been torturing you like this for hours, teetering you at the precipice and pushing you over until you don't have anymore left. Making up for all the time spend dancing around each other, the unknown of taking a step past an already peculiar friendship. It's not exactly a secret a human and demon on speaking terms is odd, let alone being anything more.

Your body struggles to take him- it wasn't meant to- teetering on the edge of it being too much. But that edge feels so overwhelmingly sweet. It's hard to even form coherent sentences, mumbling to him that his skin feels like fire, that you're so, so close; That you regret not telling him you loved him sooner.

Maybe that's why he insists on being so slow; Dragging it out for hours and leaving you a mess beneath him. He feels the way you tighten around him as you finally come again with a hoarse voiced whimper, no more energy left. It feels like it's been hours, and your stamina is no match for a demon.

He relents, if only to make sure he doesn't hurt you. His one weakness, perhaps.

Slowly Samael pulls from you and watches as you shift on the wrinkled, torn sheets, pulling a blanket that had been kicked off the edge of the bed back over your body.

When he shifts, you instantly reach a hand outward and grip what little of his arm you can wrap your fingers around. Which isn't much, but you still attempt to hold him still anyways.

"You aren't leaving, right?"

He hadn't even considered it. The demon laughs and returns closer.

"No."

Samael adjusts and moves to lay comfortably beside you, and you shift and wiggle until your tucked up against his chest. He would've moved you there if you hadn't done so yourself, so he's more than pleased.

His hum rumbles almost like a purr as he moves to press his face against your neck. You see his long tail gently sway back and forth incredibly slowly over the edge of the bed, tip just brushing against the floor. There might be morning sunlight bleeding through the window, but you can't quite tell.

"Not concerned about a demon as your bedmate?"

His tone is teasing, sultry and soft. You look up at him through the dim light.

"Was there ever a point where I implied I had good survival instincts?"

Samael laughs, chuckling and you feel it vibrate his chest against your body. His lips brush against your skin as he responds.

"Perhaps not."

It's of no mind to him, his breath shifting your hair as he leans in closer. You have him now to protect you instead, as odd as it might be for a demon to say. Though Samael has always been a little bit more curious and exploratory than less ambitious demons.

Samael watches as you close your eyes, tired and content as your hands gently grasp for him.

[actual-changeling]

Since you have been the first 'Crowley deserves to have his boundaries' person I have seen in the tags on weeks. What do you think about the talk in the fandom on how Crowley should have accepted going to Heaven 'to do good and stop the Apocalypse' and that 'he also rejected Aziraphale'? It personally gives me the creeps because the narrative makes clear that Heaven is a big white nightmare but the fandom seems to be taking the 'Aziraphale might jot be perfect' thing hard and therefore Heaven is fixable now...

Glad to know I am not alone in my little boundaries corner! I'm always here for discussions about it.

And, oh boy, do I have thoughts on that, let's see if I can get them to be somewhat coherent.

I am going to start this off with a metaphor of sorts and hopefully people will be able to follow along. I'm an older sibling and have a little sister, and we grew up in an incredibly abusive and neglectful household.

When I graduated high school, I moved out for university, which was literally the best thing to ever happen to me - I got away, I was/am free! Now I have to deal with the consequences of all that shit though.

If my sister asked me to come back so I can help her fix our mother (entirely theoretical btw she'd never lol) would it be the right thing to say yes? Should I give up my personal freedom, my life, the healing process I am right in the middle of, to go back to a household that broke me? So I can be trapped with a person that will never change again?

The answer is, of course, no. I feel bad for my sister and I am praying she will be able o move out soon, but me going back would not solve a single fucking thing. See where I'm going with this yet?

Crowley left heaven and landed on earth, which was ultimately good for him, but he has a lot to process and heal from; he's right in the middle of his own recovery.

Heaven will not change, it cannot be changed. The entire institution is working as intended, and the intention is to be abusive, manipulative, and have as much power over everyone as possible. You cannot fix that, you need to get rid of it.

Aziraphale has good intentions, but he is also still trapped in that abusive household because he never moved out, he is the sibling that stayed behind, just mentally instead of physically.

Hot take, but many people in this fandom are incapable of understanding that "Aziraphale is acting based on good intentions and is still actively being abused/traumatized" and "Aziraphale did bad and unhealthy things and his relationship with Crowley was co-dependent and toxic" are co-existing. Both are true.

Both. are. true.

He did messed up shit out of a trauma response, but he is still responsible for his actions, and at the same time he deserves a chance to heal and move on from it. Please, at this point I am begging people to understand that this is not a black and white issue.

Crowley did not reject Aziraphale, if anything, Aziraphale rejected him.

Crowley said no to returning to an abusive environment for an impossible task. Crowley said no to sacrificing his mental and physical health for something that he knows will not happen. Crowley, for the first time in his life, set a clear and final boundary and put himself and his life over Aziraphale's wishes.

That is a good thing. It is necessary.

Season 3 will not be about Aziraphale fixing heaven or preventing the second coming (if anything it'll be accidental just like in season 1). It's going to be about him finding his way out of his abusive household and into a healthy environment in which they're both free and can heal.

Apart AND together.

It's not happily ever after, it's not perfect romance, it's not "soul-mates" or anything. It is messy, it is real, it is complicated, and I am so fucking tired of seeing it reduced to "love conquers all".

[trebuchet151]

If you’re up for it, I’d love to hear more about Corey! What kind of villain he is, what his goals are, anything you’d be willing to share? No pressure of course! Love seeing your art

Starting with a heartfelt thank you for your interest in them, I think my blog has gotten more attention today bc of your reblog than it has collectively since I made it lmao. I am a huge fan of your sidestep too actually, I've only recently quit being just a lurker on this site but I've always loved seeing Richard cross my dash.

I'd LOVE to share about Corey!!!

I'm not 100% sure on a canon route yet, but for now this is one of my favs

Under a cut for length

Back during the sidestep days, they were known as a vigilante, specializing in tech and tactics. Once Anathema and Ortega broke the ice, they really opened up and became very social (comparatively anyway, theyre still a homebody) and were very involved in their community in like a local cryptid way ("honey, the masked stranger that cut the boot off my tire is on the TV lurking in the background of a rangers interview"). Very stray cat affection style, went from "i hate you dont touch me" to being in Themmy/ Ortega's space constantly. They have absolutely terrible mental health that was somewhat on the mend thanks to the support of their friends until they went and got the "taste the metal"/"one more day" path during the heartbreak incident .

During Rebirth, they're much more withdrawn and dissociative. In the time since the heartbreak incident they have become much more cautious and try to avoid combat whenever they can, taking telepathic boosters and speed/jump-jets as their armor enhancements. They blow up the museum while maintaining a no kill status and take the villain name "Heartbreak" (i love the angst that one brings). Corey blames themselves for what happened to them and their friends (sidestep/past self nemesis), and their motivation is their anger over everything that's happened to them.

Corey changes nemesis/motives between rebirth and retribution. Their more social nature starts coming back as their relationship with the current rangers and mortem improves and they go to therapy, which mellows them out a lot. They begin to wonder if they're doing the wrong thing (current self nemesis) and change motivations to "show the world the truth". Heartbreak becomes an anarchist, dedicated to exposing corrupt politicians with the least amount of violence possible. Their irresistable urge to monologue about how fucked up things are makes both Ortega and Chen sympathetic and suspicious.

For now, Corey's got a mirror image puppet named Mallory. Ideally, the puppet would be a woman for maximum gender crisis, but I love the scene in Ortega's romance that has him call the puppet by sidesteps name, and that only triggers with the mirror image achievement.

I have played ALL the romance routes and adore everyone, especially Dr. Mortum (Corey's new best friend), but the friends to lovers with Ortega wins me over, so Ortega is winning the canon route by a very thin margin.

I'm having a very hard time figuring out Corey's gender issues, bc we have dysphoria in opposite directions. I *think* they're agender, but that might change over time who knows. They're gonna come out during the story whenever that gets addressed, so He/him and They/them are both applicable

My favorite retribution ending so far is where Corey goes to see HG themselves, crashes, and is revealed as Heartbreak, but Ortega breaks them out anyway.

Thank you so much for your interest in Corey! I love them so much and am thrilled to share <3

I'll put together a more coherent summary of their lore eventually, but hopefully this is good for now :)

[sparkle-skitty]

FANFIC PIECE/GLIMPSE

I spent a STUPID long time on just this ONE BIT here so I am showing it to everyone whether y'all like it or not

For the record, this is just a scrap from the fanfic I am writing (attempting to) and because I am not a linear writer*, everything here is subject to change if/when I get to stringing it all together more coherently. So basically, it's a demo.

I proofread it a few times, but it may not be perfect because I am tired and also was originally writing entirely third person instead of second person but found myself mentally scripting in second person - so if anything sounds wonky, I'm all ears!

(*Meaning, I do not write start to finish, I write exactly what I feel like writing regardless if it's chronologically next. The scenes are coming to me in patchwork!)

Anyway, click read more for the excerpt.

CW for: mentions of child abuse, mentions of bullying, very slight blood, very slight violence, emotional outbursts/shutdown (y/n is neurodivergent), dislike of children (again, y/n is neurodivergent), aaaand I'm not sure what else to tag so lemme know if something is needed

(For the record, y/n has some of me plus some other things I've seen with other neurodivergent people written into them so HOPEFULLY it sounds at least somewhat relatable to others in the community)

You nearly ran into one of the play structures, too interested in watching what was going on by the door to the Daycare. An adult was getting more and more agitated, while Sun held a child behind him, with unimpressed and shrugging daycare workers passing to leave as their shift had ended. The only one who had remained had been talking between the adult and Sun, but was now finally giving up with a very loud "ugh!", throwing her hands in the air as she turned away to clock out.

It was now out of sight, and you were quickly putting away the armful of toys you had carefully balanced against you into the trunks they belonged, in order to get back to the scene asap. Your Employee Fazwatch buzzed on your arm, at first making you growl "Ugh, now what?!" but your irritation evaporated as you realized it was a message from Moon.

"That adult is not one of the child's authorized pick-up persons."

Moon must have caught you staring through the cameras. You instinctively glanced up at where you knew the nearest one was, knowing likely Moon was staring back from his little cyberspace world in the Attendants' shared body. But you quickly turned heel and speed-walked over to Sun.

You were certainly frustrated that, once again, poor Sun had been left behind to deal with the remaining Daycare children alone, but you were more angry now that they had so purposefully let him take the fall for the rules and regulations that even Fazbear Entertainment had to follow by law.

"You'd think by now I'd be over this," you thought. "Not like I've never had a job before where everyone was only looking out for themselves." But you knew very well it was because it was Sun, your friend, the sweetest guy in the world (probably), that you took it so personally. And also, maybe a little because most of the workers still treated him like a mindless machine, aaand possibly because a child was involved in a potentially dangerous situation.

Okay, maybe it made a little sense to take it personally.

As you drew closer, you realized Sun's hold on the child wasn't to keep the child from going to the adult, but rather the opposite - to keep the adult from getting at the child. At every turn he was putting himself between the adult and the child, and the boy looked nervous to say the least.

Your anger suddenly sparked into a blaze of fury upon the sight. No matter how much your rational side tried to tell them that it could be only because the tone of the conversation was scaring the kid, your feral inner child was screaming for blood, having the scene be a bit too familiar and hitting too close to home.

Sun caught sight of you from the corner of his eye, and turned to look with relief that someone might be coming to rescue them, only to be a little taken aback by the absolute darkness that was emanating from your being. The dangerous glint in your eyes, the snarl that curved your lips, revealing teeth tightly ground together - it was something he hadn't yet seen from his new friend. But once you looked at him and you both locked eyes, he saw a metaphorical mask rapidly apply, especially as you noticed the man had finally looked to see what Sun had been gazing at.

The mask replaced the baleful expression with one far more bright, friendly, and chipper. Though the animatronic could see the cracks in the disguise himself, he knew it was practically impossible for any random person to see. He couldn't help but stiffen as you approached and settled beside them. He had only worked with you for a short time, but it seemed so out of character!

"Hi there!" you greeted, launching into your Customer Service Voice, enthusiastic with a great smile, your eyes crinkling. "Is there something I can do for you?"

The man waved his hand around in anger, "It's about time someone came, besides this damn robot!" Sun tensed at the word and the inflection, but stayed quiet, watching with interest at how you hadn't even flinched with the man's loud and sharp tone.

"I am so sorry about that, looks like we're the only two left in the Daycare right now! What can I help you with?"

"Tell this metal idiot to give me my nephew, will you? I'm already running late!"

You turned to Sun, smile never faltering. "Hey Sunny, is there a problem?" you asked openly.

Sun caught the hint and quickly replied, "This person has not been set as a designated guardian for this child in our system."

"Ah, well!" you turned back to the man glowering at the both of you. "I'm afraid that we can not legally allow you to take the child from the Daycare, sir. I'm terribly sorry, but I'm sure you can understand the reasoning here. Just imagine if those weren't the rules! Kids could be carted off by just any ol' person, even criminals and bad guys!"

As you spoke, you gestured - and even winked - with great enthusiasm. Your hyper-upbeat tone not once fell, but the language used was definitely a subtle accusation.

"I'm afraid you'll have to forgive my friend here, but that's the protocol!"

"I want a manager!" the man spluttered, now thoroughly furious.

"Oh!" you exclaimed, a hand going to your mouth before you tilted your head in a bow. "I'm terribly sorry, again, sir, but..." you then lifted both arms towards Sun, gesturing as if presenting him for the first time. "He IS the manager. It's his Daycare after all! He's the boss, the head honcho, the big cheese, emphasis on the big part," you quietly added to the end, tone now finally slipping to indicate the threat.

Sun couldn't help but also notice that you were doing your nervous trait of babbling and trying to joke. But he wasn't so sure this was anxiety or a matter of barely containing yourself.

"Please leave before we have to contact security," you said after a moment of silent fuming from the man, optimism now back but with an edge to it, giving firmness to the command. "If the rightful guardian or guardians can not come, they will have to contact us themselves to add you in. Otherwise, we will not be able to release this child to you."

The guy looked around a bit, grumbling and muttering angrily, before very suddenly lurching forward towards you. Sun's arm shot out automatically to snatch the man by the shirt, to stop him and lift him away, but to his shock you made your own automatic response of swiping at the man's face.

Blood swelled from parts of the claw marks on his stunned expression, but not enough blood to actually run. You had mostly gotten him to the side of his face as he had turned at the last second to look at Sun, traveling just a bit across his jaw and cheek.

The facade was dropped in an instant as you huffed and shook from the adrenaline, then shrieked, "TRY THAT AGAIN, I FUCKIN' DARE YA!"

"Language!" Sun quickly reprimanded you, glaring at you. You tore your gaze from the man's bewildered face to look at him, then looked away, snorting through your nose and folding your arms across your chest. He sighed in exasperation, knowing that sort of maneuver all too well from the children and, well, Moon.

"I am not a brat," Moon grumbled in his head.

"I didn't say anything!" Sun internally responded back.

You looked the man up and down, feet now off the ground as Sun held him firm, but he wasn't struggling. You snatched the radio out of your pocket and calmly made the call to security to remove the man from the premises.

Even as the man was escorted out, Sun's internal monitors showed your heart was still pounding away. But when you glanced at the child, your look softened to one of embarrassment, or shame? You knelt down next to him.

"Hey, sorry about that kiddo, that... must have been scary," you mumbled.

Your interactions with the children were always awkward. You had told Sun you hated kids, but on top of that also had no idea how to deal with them. Every time you were like a deer in the headlights, a newborn giraffe trying to learn to walk - unsteady, unsure, and bewildered by everything.

Sun had so far learned that you at least knew enough to be nice to the kids and to excuse yourself when it got to be too much, which was more than he could say for most of the daycare workers, which was ironic given that you were, well... a glorified janitor.

The child nodded, sniffling. There was a pause, and then the boy released Sun's pant leg and ran over to you, wrapping his little arms around you. You were surprised, then cringed.

"Um, there there..." you said, patting his back gently. To your horror, you realized he was still crying and sniffling. Sun watched with amusement as your face silently twisted into disgust. You looked up at him, pleading with him to get the child away somehow, but Sun shook his head, crossing his arms. This is now a punishment, he decided. He knew you wouldn't dare just shove the kid away.

------------------------------------

You were scrubbing at your shirt with several sanitary wipes. The snot might be gone by now, but you weren't sure and still felt unclean.

It seemed like it took forever for the child's actual guardians to show up, and Sun was not only doing the checkout, but also the report about what had happened.

You had allowed that child to tug your hands, hug you, and you even picked him up when he gestured so. Gross gross gross, little snotty kids were the worst. They had no sense of cleanliness or manners regarding germs. You shuddered at the thought of wondering if he even wiped himself, then flopped back into the security desk chair with a groan. To take your mind off your child-germophobia, you pulled out your phone and began a round of Candy Crush.

Your timeblindness caught you up again as you suddenly looked up to see Sun standing on the other side of the desk. He had his arms folded again, and wore a frown.

"That wasn't being a very good role-model, you know."

"Heck off, I'm not Daycare staff, so I don't--"

"Ah ah!" Sun cut you off, "You ARE Daycare staff, buster, even if it's just to clean, and as you so eloquently put it, I'm the boss here. And I say you need to be a better role model."

"Well personally I like their spunk," Moon snickered in his head. Sun ignored him.

There was a moment of silence between you two, before you shrugged nonchalantly. "Oh well."

Sun's eyebrow twitched with irritation. "Don't "oh well" me! You were cussing, AND you got physical with a customer--"

"Not a customer, just a dick."

"Language! Let's just hope you didn't teach the little one to solve our problems with anger and violence."

"Right, let's hope he never believes a grownup will stand up for him again in his life," you growled mockingly.

Sun was stunned, feeling frustration rise. He put his head in his hand and let out an exasperated sigh. "You can stand up for people without resorting to attacking others."

"Not always. Not every time." you answered lowly.

Sun noticed your heart rate was starting to climb again, and you were beginning to shake. Well, if there's one thing about this whole debacle that was a positive, it's the fact you make it so obvious when you're upset or angry.

"Let's calm down," he said soothingly. "This is just a discussion, you don't need to get angry--"

You stood bolt upright from your chair, your voice raising, "This isn't a discussion! You're chastising and-and-and down-talking and-and... belittling me! For defending myself! Because-because what? The kid might see it and-and think, oh man I-I-I should probably do something if someone... if someone just-just.... comes at me!" You were stammering and practically vibrating with the sudden spike in temper.

Sun leaned back with his hands up, a look of surprise on his face. "Woah, woah, woah! Hold on! I'm sorry if that's how I made you feel, but the rules--"

"DAMN THE RULES! The rules are out of order! Th-th-this whole court is out of order! Stupid! Fuck! AUGH!"

"Now that's enough--!" Sun cut himself off when you slammed your rear back into the chair and spun it, rolling it back in the process, and faced the wall. Hands crossed, face red, you slumped in anger and drew in on yourself.

Sun let the silence settle, giving you both time to relax, and for you to come out of your shut down. You pulled out your phone and started blasting aggressive music.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed wearily. "Y/n, please, I'm sorry," he started, voice calm but raised enough to hear over the music. "I am not trying to treat you less, I'm sorry I made you so angry..." he lifted his head up at a thought. "Wait... why are you so angry? You were furious before, too, when you were coming to check on us."

You didn't answer, but you had lowered your foot and were now bouncing your leg.

"Give it a minute," Moon spoke to Sun. He paused before continuing, a hint of a grin in his voice, "I have to say, it's interesting to see someone put themselves in time out."

"They've shut down, Moonie, you know what a shut down is."

Moon hummed. "They did choose to sit in a chair and face a wall, though."

"Can't you take this seriously?"

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of wheels on the floor. You had gently kicked off from the wall and were now rolling comically slow towards them. You had lowered your music, and still had a pout, eyes downcast, and your arms crossed. You bumped into the desk without a word.

More silence. Sun waited patiently, shoving down the anxiety trying to creep its way up. Nope! Not gonna go there!

Eventually, you swallowed your pride and spoke up. "I'm... sorry," you began slowly. "I lost my cool. It's been a while since I've dealt with... the public... on a, mm, personal level. And I'm sorry I scared the little guy." As you spoke, you turned the chair to sit properly at the desk, placing your elbows on it and clasping your hands.

You then looked up at Sun, and glared. "I'm NOT sorry about standing up for him. As a general thing. Even if I did it wrong."

"I'm on their side." Moon stated matter-of-factually. "...And don't you dare think what I think you'll think of that."

"The only thing I think of that is that you're both a bad influence on each other."

Sun's shoulders slumped. Well, it's a start, at least. He can work with this.

"Again, I'm sorry too, the rules are a bit of a... erm, a big deal to me, to put it simply." Sun stood poised to offer his explanation, even though Moon suddenly turned sour at the mere idea of talking about... that.

Meanwhile, you furrowed your brows, looking down at the desk again. You were also battling with bringing up some vulnerability, and chewed your lip. He did ask, but is it too awkward to bring up now?

You took a deep breath, "Anyway... I lost my cool because... I..." your voice trailed off with a drawn-out croak, but Sun didn't interrupt or interject. It took a minute for you to build your courage again.

"Well... when I was... a kid," you spoke haltingly, taking your time in order to keep your voice and emotions level. "I was... bullied. A lot. Really badly. Just for being weird, I guess, I dunno... And, nobody helped me. So I just, took care of it myself. Or, well, tried to." You glanced back up at Sun, "That's... ssssorta why I had that, uh, kneejerk reaction, when that dude tried to- when he just- when he came at me like that."

Sun and Moon were both listening intently. It wasn't often their human coworkers would open up, and in particular, you had made yourself a bit of an anomaly with your unpredictable statements and odd behaviour - an anomaly that they had taken a liking to, admittedly. Maybe they just liked anomalous people, since it seemed to be a pattern.

"That... doesn't quite explain what made you angry in the first place, though..." Sun said softly, not wanting to accidentally spook you from talking it out.

You sat back, your chin tucked in and your eyes cast down, and crossed your arms. Sun feared he had in fact actually caused exactly what he was trying to avoid, but you spoke back up.

"Yeah... yeah... the bullies... the worst ones were adults."

Boom. Bombshell.

Sun and Moon would have exchanged shocked glances if they had the ability to. Oh yes, they were well aware that adults could be bullies to other adults, including animatronics, but to kids? Unthinkable! The very notion sent their protocols in a little tizzy.

"Teachers, mostly," you continued. You took a deep, shaking breath. "But... then there were, of course... family members. Specifically my parents. Especially when I started getting into fights, oh they hated that. I was an embarrassment to them for not being like..." you waved your hand around, attempting to find the word, emotions building and causing brainfog. "Y'know, uh, demure and-and delicate and sweet and pretty and... and all that sh- crap..."

You settled back into the desk chair, your arms now laid against the arms of the chair. You still didn't look up, and began idly picking and clawing at the ends of said armrests. You took careful, slow breaths, trying to keep from bursting into a fit of some sort - most likely a crying fit, if anything. It'd been a very, very long time since you'd actually talked about all of this, and for precisely this reason.

"So, um, you can imagine - I think you can anyway - the kinds of things they did to try and--"

"They... they what?! They thought THAT was more embarrassing than their child being bullied!?" Sun exclaimed, flabbergasted.

The suddenness of his interjection widened your eyes for a minute, then you gave a laugh - a hollow, awful giggle that was laced with all the anger, hurt, anxiety, and vulnerability you were feeling at the moment.

"Um, yeah!? Kids will be kids, after all," you sneered mockingly. Not at him, but at the past. "I was just overreacting and causing a scene, of course." You slumped into the chair so low you could have easily slid out. "Of course..." you muttered. Your outburst had been sufficient to release all that negative energy you'd been building.

"So um... yeah... that's why I was... prrrrobably more than a little ready to go feral on that guy... He just had that vibe, you know? You know the one."