#hopefully this rewatch will help me be more confident in that
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I'm on my MHA rewatch and just completed the episode when Uraraka when toe-to-toe with Bakugo at the sports festival.
Ooooof. I'm at a loss for words at how she gave it her all. The strategy she decided to go with was clever, but she came up short. It was a valiant effort and a heck of a fight.
But man, it certainly hit in the feels when she whispered, "Daddy..." as she fell unconscious. Then who could forget the call with her dad. He uplifted her in the moment of a terrible defeat. He promised she will be a kind and caring hero one day as she cries away the pain.
I should also say it was tough to see her hide the pain of the loss in front of Deku. Once she gets alone and calls her dad, she lets it all out. Deku even knew she was hiding it while exiting the room to go face Shoto. No one goes through a defeat like that without feeling emotional repercussions, especially a character as tied to her emotions as Ochako.
Finally, as Deku was going to that next battle, he recalls Ochako being his constant source of encouragement. He just left her as she said, "I'll be watching. Good luck out there!" It brought him to tears as he thinks, "She's the one encouraging me... again." It just gives me another reason why I love their friendship. They know how the other works and how to lift the other up when they're down.
All in all, the episode was Peak Ochako and Peak MHA. The sports festival arc has been a pleasant revisit. I know it'll only get better when Deku and Shoto clash.
#bnha#mha#bakugo vs uraraka#sports festival arc#uraraka ochako#my hero academia#class 1a#izuocha#deku#dekuraka#midoriya izuku#ochako has the best dad#all the feels#uravity#this is why ochako is my favorite character in mha#it's all part in me trying to overcome my shame of appreciating her so much#hopefully this rewatch will help me be more confident in that
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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Perfection is Relative ˖ ݁݁ 𖥔.
~Soooo I’m in my rewatch-comfort-shows era, and Helluva Boss is next. I can’t wait for the newest episode, so I’m trying to get the insanity out with this. For anyone who happens to read this, I hope you Enjoy!~
Lee: Moxxie
Ler: Millie
Summary: Moxxie is second-guessing himself and stressing out about his appearance. Millie notices and decides to lovingly remind her husband what the word “perfect” truly means in this life.
Warnings: spoilers for Helluva Boss and fluffy couple romance (few kisses)! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!
Moxxie had always had confidence issues. Be it moral dilemmas, other’s perceptions or just general life itself, he would second-guess himself and shy away. However, there was one thing he could always trust himself to nail: his presentations.
Whenever Blitz had a performance-based job, Moxxie put his best hoof forward and found a rare spark of assurance and self-confidence. His outfits were on point, any makeup was flawless, and he got into the metaphorical zone. Nobody could ruin that for him, or so he thought.
At the summer camp, Moxxie had spent a good few hours designing his persona and the look of it. He was actually pretty proud of it. That was, until those teenage girls and everyone else at the camp insulted his appearance and disregarded his existence.
Millie and him had already discussed how it made him feel, and while he was incredibly happy for and proud of his wife, he couldn’t get those thoughts out of his head. It bled into his everyday planning, making him critique every little detail about himself. Like that morning, where he’d spent half an hour adjusting his bowtie position.
“Maybe a bit lower to point the focus…” Moxxie mumbled to himself, loosening his bowtie once again. He’d left the bedroom door open, too focused on the mirror to notice. He didn’t even notice as his wife peeked in, nor he did he catch her small, knowing sigh.
“Honey…what’re you doing?” Millie came up behind him, resting her hands on his waist. She’d noticed his extra self-consciousness lately, but she hoped it was something he’d work out. It was apparently deeper than that, though, so she was at the ready with support and a - hopefully - helpful conversation.
“Adjusting my bow. It’s not really symmetrical, and I want it to send a certain message about me.” His words were a bit rushed, giving his wife a peek into the swirling storm of his mind. She wasn’t happy with what she saw.
“You really don’t need to worry, Mox. You look amazin’ already.” Millie gently grabbed his chin, turned him and kissed him. He sighed at the affection, pulling away after a second. Moxxie felt bad about kissing her; he wasn’t good enough yet. Millie deserved the world, and he couldn’t help but feel inadequate.
“If you say so, Mills. Just let me fix up a few more things.” Moxxie tugged at his collar, adjusting the bow and tugging his hair into place.
Now, Millie could’ve just left her husband to finish getting ready. However, doing so would’ve meant letting him think he needed any of the extra glitz and ritz he was putting forth. He was handsome and wonderful enough as-is; she was determined to get that through to him.
With a suppressed smirk, the female imp grabbed his chin once again, her tail snaking around his waist. Moxxie was oblivious to her true plot, just suspecting she wanted attention. “Millie, just gimme one seco- EEP!”
He cut himself off with a squeak as Millie’s claws skittered across his neck. Down below, the pointy tip of her tail was dragging along his side. The smirk was no longer suppressed, her adorable tooth gap showing in the playful grin.
“Mihihillie! Whahat are youhu dohohohoing?!” Moxxie squirmed and wriggled, trying to slip away from his wife. Millie wrapped her free arm around his waist, securing him while adding more wiggling fingers to his stomach.
“Gettin’ you outta your head, Mox. You got too much judgmental crud about yourself up there.” Millie placed a fluttery kiss behind his ear, making him squeak once again. Her fingers were still going at it, dragging the pointed claws along his belly and neck while her tail teased his side.
Moxxie instinctively folded like a lawn chair, his giggles squeaky and scratchy. His wife’s arm was the only thing keeping him from dropping to the floor.
“Mihihills! I cahahan’t- KYAAhahaha!” The sharpshooter kicked his hooves, each impact making a small clack against their wooden floor. Millie couldn’t help but coo at this.
“Aww, there we go, sugar~” She purred, chuckling against the warm skin of his neck. His careful bowtie placement was all messy now, skewed and crooked from Millie’s evil affection. She was hoping to get him all nice and messy before she stopped. He needed to see how amazing he was at his least dolled-up.
While his giggles were certainly music to her ears, she was looking for something with a bit more gusto. Millie wanted to really make him laugh.
Quickly spinning her husband around, she pushed him down onto their bed and grabbed his thighs. Moxxie’s eyes went as wide as saucers, but before he could say a word, her claws were wiggling into his sensitive skin.
“NAHAHAHO! MIHIHILIHIE PLEHEHEASE!” Moxxie’s precious giggles quickly rocketed up to loud, screeching cackles as Millie targeted his worst spot. He thrashed on the bed, ruining his hair and untucking his shirt in the process. She was quick to take advantage of that, slipping her tail underneath the fabric to tease his stomach once again.
“O-OHOHO MY SAHAHATAN!” Small tears of mirth gathered in the corners of his eyes, his cheeks stained a deeper, purple-ish red. The blush was adorable to Millie, though his tears showed she had gone far enough. She stilled her fingers, kissing his smiling lips.
“Ihihihi… oho cruhuhums…” Moxxie took a few deep, giggly breaths as he tried to regain his composure. That attack had come out of nowhere, but he didn’t exactly hate it. “Whahat was thahat for?”
“I already told ya, hon. You’re bein’ too hard on yourself.” Millie rolled off him, lying down beside her husband. He sighed, shaking his head.
“I juhust…I dunno, Millie. It’s just not enough. I need to be perfect.” She brushed a bit of his unruly hair back in place, humming. “I think you look pretty damn perfect right now, Mox. You’re only perfect when you’re you.”
Moxxie felt himself tear up at that. Millie was just…so herself. He thought she was perfect, so…maybe she was right. Leaning forward, he kissed her lovingly, his tail wrapping around hers.
Millie smiled into the soft embrace, cupping his face with one hand as the other held him close. He was so adorable just then: rosy cheeks, loving eyes, messy hair and love-drunk eyes. She could gaze at him for eternity and never tire of his most natural beauty.
“Uhum…what were we getting ready for again?” Moxxie asked as he pulled away, finally remembering that they had planned on going somewhere. It did kind of spoil the moment, but he genuinely couldn't remember.
“Well, I think…Blitz called us in? Somethin’ about a pop-up client.” Millie sighed, knowing that their boss was probably ready to kill them for not being there yet. She didn't regret a damn thing, of course; Moxxie was more important than work.
“Shit…you wanna get ready together?” Moxxie shrugged, offering the small moment. Millie looked him over one last time, taking in her perfectly amazing mess of a husband before nodding.
“Sounds good, Mox. But no spendin’ forever on silly things, got it?” She booped his nose for emphasis, wiggling a few sneaky fingers on his side. Moxxie giggled and jerked away, playfully glaring at her.
“Gohot it,” he agreed, sticking his tongue out with a smirk. Millie rolled her eyes before hopping off the bed as well, joining him by the mirror.
Moxxie looked into the reflective glass, seeing himself in near complete disarray. But, with Millie’s smiling figure by his side, loving every bit of him unconditionally, he couldn't help but like what he saw just that much more.
#hb tickle#lee!moxxie#ler!millie#ticklish!moxxie#sfw tickling community#tickle#tickle fic#helluva boss tickle#hb moxxie#hb millie#helluva boss#tickle fluff#fluff fic
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Ocean's Eleven
CONFIDENCE BOOST: Linus Caldwell x fem!reader
Summary: Rusty left the last advice unfinished, seemingly making Linus both nervous and annoyed. Luckily she's there to help.
Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I made while I wrote this short story.
After a message reminded me how obsessed I've been with the Ocean's men, I started to rewatch the movies - and it once again gave me some inspiration, ending my writers block. By the time I'm done with the rewatch, hopefully more stories will come :)
Warnings: only a few swear words, but other than that nothing at all
•••
"Where do you put your hands?" both her and Rusty followed Linus' movements with their eyes as he tried to hold the briefcase with both hands. "No good."
She leaned back on the sofa she was sitting on, realizing this won't be a short conversation. She might as well get herself comfortable and watch as Linus learns - it's as entertaining for her as it is annoying and stressful for him. She might as well lean back and enjoy it as long as it's not her turn to move.
"Don't touch your tie. Look at me." Linus did as he was told so. "Okay, I ask you a question 'you have to think of an answer, where do you look?"
Linus looked down. It wasn't the right move.
"No good." Rusty said and for a moment their eyes met - she tilted her head, trying to silently communicate with him like they learned to do so. Don't be that hard on him - her eyes said. "You look down, they know you're lying..." Linus looked up and she smiled - that wasn't right either. "...and up, they know you don't know the truth."
Linus' eyes settled on Rusty once again as he sighed both from the nerves and slight annoyance.
"Don't use seven words when four'll do. Don't shift your weight," Rusty pointed out after Linus did that. "look always at your mark, but don't stare. Be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's gotta like you and then forget you the moment you left his side." Rusty's expression changed as he continued: "And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't - under any circumstances-"
"Russ!" Livingston's voice came suddenly from the other room, making all three of them look that way.
"Yeah?" Rusty shouted back.
"Can you take a look at this?"
"Sure!" and just like that he got up and left the room, leaving the unfinished sentence hanging.
Linus looked after him, not being able to decide if he should speak up or not and seemingly he couldn't decide what to say if he speaks up either. His mind was full of the instructions Rusty told him, trying to process them in the remaining minutes and then also remember all of them.
"Don't do what?" the question finally came out in a mixture of confusion, stress and annoyance.
Linus finally fully turned to look at her and she gave him a reassuring smile.
"Don't worry, he went through that with me on my first heist as well."
"And how did it go?" he sounded hopeful.
"It was Danny's plan, how do you think it went?" she looked up at him, testing, seeing what he'll say, seeing where his trust lies.
"Good?" it sounded more as a question than an answer.
She chuckled as she stood up, walking up to him, seeing if everything about his clothes are alright.
"Great." she answered as she adjusted his tie, straightening it. "I even got a necklace on the way out."
Finally, through the mixture of emotions what fell on him after Danny was put in a corner, Linus gave her a weak smile. She returned it, doing her best to boost his confidence.
He didn't really have a reason to worry or have fears about failure. He was good at what he was doing. He could pickpocket anyone easily, without anyone noticing. She saw it with her own eyes, she was there with Danny when he recruited him. And that last pull with the wallet was fantastic - unnoticeable even by her.
"You have nothing to worry about, really. You've got this." she put hands on his shoulders and his eyes followed her movements through the glasses he wore. "You were doing just fine without Rusty's speech. He gives it to everyone, believe me. This is your first heist with them, they'll give you a speech and test how good you are."
"Test?" he questioned.
"Yeah. Don't be surprised when they suddenly pop up somewhere when you're supposed to be alone. At least that's what they did with me."
She let go of him and took a step back, looking at him once again - he looked good and not just as a rookie who worked for the Nevada Gaming Commision, but as Linus himself. He looked cute, especially with those glasses and that tie. She got used to the striped shirts and jackets, but this was something new altogether. And he made it work.
"Alright, 'you want my advice?" she asked, hoping that he does.
He nodded - maybe a bit too quickly. The glasses almost fell off, he had to straighten them.
"Just don't stress it. I know you're good, I saw it with my own eyes and believe me, you wouldn't be here if Danny thought you weren't skilled." he was very close to blushing at the compliment and she almost grinned at that. "All Rusty tried to help you with was your acting, but the only thing that matters is for you to stay calm and in character. And your character has to be pitiful, someone Benedict could walk over, someone who's young and forgettable. You can't be smarter than him, funnier than him or even braver than him. 'You understand?"
He nodded - she continued. "You've got this, I believe in you."
That seemed to do the trick - or a trick at least. What she said made him blush, it was noticeable this time around and even his glasses couldn't hide it.
She took a step toward him again to adjust his glasses even if they couldn't have been any straighter. She felt like she needed that excuse to be closer to him than she was and to save that image of Linus in those clothes, blushing the best she could.
"And what shouldn't I do?" he asked after he swallowed.
"Oh, just don't leave without an excuse and don't leave unfinished sentences hang in the air. If it's a joke it's fine, it'd fit the guy you're playing, but otherwise it's a no." she let her arms fall beside her body, but she didn't take a step back this time. "So, 'everything clear now?"
"Yeah, thanks." it wasn't more than a whisper, but she heard it.
"No problem. You can come to me anytime."
The conversation died down after that, but neither of them moved. She took those short moments to really take a good look at him, at his expressions - at every corner of his face, no matter how small. She couldn't find a single mistake there, not a scar, not a wrinkle she wouldn't like. Nothing was there what could've made him worried. She found him flawless - she found him a sweetheart and a very cute one.
"You're a sweetheart, you know?" she said, saying what she thought out loud - as she noticed Saul on the hallway behind Linus, probably on his way out. They don't have much time left. "The others aren't. They're either assholes sometimes for jokes or they get sloppy - but you're neither of those."
"You're not like them either."
"Hell no, I'm much younger thank you very much." she said jokingly, making him chuckle and with that his nervousness disappeared.
"Yeah, that too."
"See? You have nothing to worry about. You're too loveable to run into any sorts of trouble." she explained with a loving smile. "And I'll be around too."
The clock was ticking - Linus should get going and she should get ready, but the conversation was too interesting to leave it hanging.
"Yeah, you'll be the best thing around."
"Better than those millions underground?" she asked with a giggle, saying it as a joke and nothing more, but at his answer it was her turn to blush.
"Definitely."
She swallowed - all the before-heist confidence disappeared from her and she was back on square one, where Linus was.
"We'll talk after, right?"
She tilted her head at the question, finding it cute - it still kept the blush on her face.
"Of course. You can buy me a coffee from those millions if you want to."
And he wanted to. She could see it on his face, in his eyes and that thought made her heart flutter.
"Right, you should get going." her voice was weaker than usual.
"Yeah."
"I believe in you, Linus."
They didn't kiss - it wasn't the right moment and it would've been too soon for that. But she kissed his cheek for good luck - making him blush once more - before he left.
It was quick, but meaningful and she looked him in the eyes as she pulled back. See you after the heist.
Right as she was on her way to her room to put on the dress she needed for her role, her heart almost jumped out of her chest when she saw Rusty on the small hallway. She looked at him for a second, and after his expression told her everything she had to know, she continued to move.
But as she walked past him she said: "You had a bet going, didn't you?"
"Forty bucks said you'd make the first move."
She stopped and turned to look at him, she smiled even if she was annoyed a little. But then again who could've expected them to not gamble when they're about to rob a casino?
"Fifty-fifty, right?"
"No, you'll only get thirty percent. It was way too cheesy to listen to."
She took the money and pocketed it quickly.
"What do you think?" she asked.
"Danny knew since the beginning." Rusty aswered, leaving her as he walked away.
She stood there, trying to figure out what gave it away to Danny before she even realised that she found Linus cute.
"It was the wallet." she whispered to herself, nodding. "Yeah, it was definitely the pull with the wallet."
#ocean's eleven#ocean's 11#ocean's eleven x reader#linus caldwell#linus caldwell x reader#linus caldwell x fem!reader#rusty ryan
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VERITAS VINCIT comes back this 2024!
One of my projects for 2024 will be rewriting my fanfic Veritas Vincit. Also, if I have enough time for it, it'll include some art and an author's commentary as well!
I'll post the first chapter very soon and my plan is to update regularly.
But, if you don't know what I'm talking about, gift me two minutes of your time, and let me tell you the story of why the hell I will be rewriting a fic 250k words long.
It was 2019. I was still at uni and going through one of the worst moments of my life. I was very sad, very angry, and quite lost in life. V For Vendetta is one of my comfort movies/comics and, well— After my obligatory rewatch every November, I had an idea for a fic. At first, I just wanted to do a quick fix. In the end, it ended up being 250k words long.
The thing is that writing that fic helped me. A lot. It got me out of a very dark place. However— I started it knowing where my limits were, but not caring because I wanted to share it with the world anyway. My English was quite bad back then and I still hadn't figured out how to adapt my style to it. Not that I don't have a long way to go still, but still.
I always loved this fic with all my heart. Every part of it. And I loved the experience of writing it and the little circle of readers I had. And I've been having this feeling that I should rewrite it for years now, but I wasn't sure. It's long (it's very long) and I don't have much free time. I had my doubts about if it was worth it or not, or if anyone would be interested anymore.
Finally, I've decided to rewrite it for the same reason I started this story back then: because I love it and I want to honour it. Nothing else. And it's enough.
What to expect
Basically, the plot won't be changing much. I'll be changing some details to make the story more believable, but it will follow the same plot lines.
I'll change some scenes and add new things that were discarded in the first fic and I think make more sense now in the rewrite.
My OCs (Bel, Maria, Jeremy, and Allana) come back with more weight in the story and more outlined.
The first fic won't be narrated in first person anymore.
Art and author's commentary (hopefully).
And more!
Final note
I'm eternally thankful for the readers I had following this story back in the day. I received comments in this story that have boosted my confidence like nothing else has and that kept me going every day. I still remember them, often.
If, by any chance, you read the old fic and you're here, ready to go through it all again: thank you. You are so welcome. ILY.
If you are a new reader, welcome and get ready, because we certainly are going for a ride.
Anyway, this was longer than I hoped. See you all soon. Get ready!
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tell us more about these projects! i’ve struggled to pick up languages again after an extended break and no time and a project-based approach seems very refreshing!
Apologies in advance for the long post. I do plan on making a more detailed post on this at a later point hopefully a video but I make no promises these days.
Important note!! Before you start any short- or long-term learning projects, begin a polyglot journal outlining your objectives and check in every two weeks with an extra detailed summary of what you’ve done, haven’t done, dislike, feel needs changing, etc. either once per quarter or 2x year. Your micro-goals, methods and timeline should shift over time, showing that you can reassess the project and try out new things to suit your needs. If you don't update on time it's nbd, but at least try to write a note in your planner or calendar about what you did when because it can be extremely helpful one year later when you try to revisit where you are now and how you got there. 🧿🤍
The main projects from 2019 to today include the following
Greek - Conversational Speaking, 2019
Goal: meet for casual 30-minute lessons with a teacher, 2 or 3x per week to build up conversational skills and high frequency grammar in use as a passive bilingual (it being the native language which I actively lost growing up for various reasons).
Reflection: The real studies were repetition in speech and looking up key vocabulary I would need to use to tell my teacher about what happened in the last week, and my teacher supplied me with additional vocabulary to help me be more specific. Now I have a record of that vocabulary which I can review whenever by topic/story. Plus my family did notice my drastic improvement and asked if I had been studying.
Irish - The Merlin Project (Quarantine Project), 2020-2022 (+ ongoing, needs new methodology because I met my aims a while back at this point)
Aim: Go from A2 to B1 by learning to write so that you can have the skills to be able to read longer texts
Challenge: Rewatch an episode from the last show that you watched and write down what you see in as much detail as possible, making sure to use a grammar point you’re currently studying in your writing. Look up new words to make the text more specific and add them to the description. Correct your text. Watch the same scene again and add more detail, as in the following:
(Basically: first: do a grammar practice, then: watch 30 seconds, write using that grammar, translate dialogue if you want, consult dictionary, write again incorporating the new words and/or make the sentences more complex, at the end: correct your text yourself or with a teacher, start again and repeat until the scene or full episode is complete or you've exhausted the usefulness of the exercise.)
Alternatively just write or translate fanfiction, but I don't say that here.
By self-correcting you should become very confident on the basic skills at your level, whereas the rewriting itself allows for varied attempts at forming sentences and vocabulary acquisition in a specific context.
FYI I posted the project itself along with the notes to my website (here) and intend to share the presentation on the experience I gave in the Gaeltacht this past August soon enough.
Multilingual, select Romance and Germanic languages - The Diana Project, 2022-present
Challenge: dive deep into the rhythm, melody and sound of certain languages (which relate to a poet I’m analysing) via a slow read of poetry and familiarisation with the poet, poet-translator and poet-actor
Components: read, write, translate and recite poetry on the subject of Greco-Roman tragedy (now its shifting to satire after 1+ year or so of tragic influences) from select eras and in select styles, ex. ottava rima, rhyming verse & simultaneously learn about the rhetoric of poetics that influenced these authors and their poems or translations
These writings I’m still adding to my website as part of a translation, recitation and poetry portfolio.
Most recently, I’ve started what I call the Secret Senecan Project which requires reading certain ancient and mediaevil texts on stories I’m familiar with in the original, identifying key words based on context then extrapolating the grammar from their features (declinations, location in reference to other word forms, etc.). The next step will be to compare these predictions with the bilingual translation and consult my grammar books in those languages to confirm or improve my predictions.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading! I hope to polish this up and make the details more learner-friendly sometime before 2024. (:
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Knowing better - Gin Ichimaru x Reader
Rewatching bleach with @blueflamebimbo in order to prepare for the new anime [and to hopefully watch it soon]. I am very much head empty, only thoughts of Bleach loves lately, and this little thing happened. I don't see that much love for Gin online, so here's my little contribution. Enjoy.
2nd person. Gn reader.
“What the hell is wrong with me?”
Cold water dripped down from your chin back into the sink, you didn’t bother pressing a towel to your face after splashing it with cold water. Your reflection looked tired, and disheveled, with your hair out of place and bags under your eyes. You had been working overtime, training extra hard in all of your free time. There was a seated position opening up and you were aching for a promotion. You knew you were capable, you worked hard enough and that definitely didn’t go unnoticed, but it all did take a toll on your body. You were desperate for a break, and that’s when it had happened.
The captain of the third squad had seen you training, pushing yourself to the edge over and over again. He had observed, somehow, and the mere action had sent shivers up your spine. It was one thing being watched, but there was something about his presence, his expression, everything made it somehow worse than when it would have been anyone else. Anyone but him.
And yet. When he approached you to make remarks, there had been useful tips in his teasing commentary. Your posture had improved and your hado was a little more effective. You knew deep inside that you were supposed to feel uneasy and threatened almost, the way most people would describe they felt around the silver-haired captain. And yet. You had felt seen, you had answered his remarks with a confidence you never had before.
He’d laughed. It was a strange sound, one you had never heard before. Sure, he was always smiling, but you realized at that moment you hadn’t ever heard him laugh. You had been intrigued, confident and curious, and that was not the reaction he’d been used to. It had led to almost a stare-off, both of you standing so close to each other, there was almost tangible tension between the two of you. You weren’t quite sure what kind of tension it was, and you didn’t stick around to find out. Your confidence disappeared just as fast as it had surged, and you politely excused yourself, getting away from the captain with a quick flash step, ending up in the bathroom where you were now splashing cold water on your face.
You would be lying to yourself if you said this was the very first time you spent being watched by Ichimaru, and you would be lying even harder if you said there wasn’t a part of you enjoying the attention. There was such a strange duality to every single interaction you had with the man. A duality where you knew you had to be on edge and you should probably avoid this person. No matter the fact that you were in the same organisation and supposed to be on the same side, just like many others, you felt like there was something off about him, and any time spent far away from him, was time well spent.
Yet you couldn’t help but feel your curiosity piqued. You couldn’t help but make the conversations linger a little longer than necessary, and you couldn’t help yourself from using his own teasing remarks against him every once in a while. Rationally, it felt wrong, but emotionally it made you feel an exciting kind of giddy.
You looked at your reflection again, thoughts racing through your head. Maybe you should confront him. Maybe you should have an actual conversation with him, get the tension resolved and -hopefully- out of the way. But you knew deep inside that the chances of having a normal conversation with him were small to nonexistent. He loved the chase and the thrill too much to just let your little game come to an abrupt halt while there was still so much to get out of you.
Sure, there were many ways you could resolve your quickening heartbeat, the sudden anxiety, the sweaty palms, every time he was near. Sure, you would feel more at ease knowing that he would not just pop around whenever you were working or training. But you also knew you would miss it. You would miss the attention, the game, almost as much as you’d miss him.
You shouldn’t play along. You should know better.
#bleach#gin x reader#ichimaru x reader#gin ichimaru x reader#gin ichimaru#bleach gin#reader insert#blurb#drabble#short story
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okay, i’ve mulled about my knb nitpicks, how to word them. think i’ve got it.
-i prolly rated s3 lower in part bc i initially found it underwhelming with how the show resolve kagakuro’s childhood friends that helped them with basketball?
for kagami, in general, i’m sorry i just didn’t find himuro all that likeable until the kuroko birthday episode tbh, and i wished you could have had glimpses of that sooner — in part, you can’t bc himuro has his inferiority complex with kagami, but. that leads to another issue.
i kinda wanted more with ogiwara originally? bc he turns up, and they have a phone conversation about him getting back into basketball so they’ll hopefully play against each other sincerely the next year (in a way that a was flat out impossible when it was with teikou). but i thought about while it rewatching and… ogiwara never really had the fallout like kagahimu did? his issues wasn’t with kuroko, exactly, but he wanted to play against a kuroko who enjoyed basketball—something that kuroko himself was trying to find, and would probably only get after he had succeeded in finding a way for the gom to enjoy playing basketball again too, which is something ogiwara also wanted! bc kuroko had confided in him and kept in touch with him during the teikou days, ogiwara knew how important his team meant to him. so for him to sit out the current&next year… it was fine. bc he was trying to motivate kuroko, somewhat, and kuroko found a way to succeed. and with that achieved, ogiwara can now look forward to playing against kuroko. so the conflict between them was different, and while i would have liked a smidge more of ogiwara, i don’t know if much more was actually needed?
-this is me being petty but i think i may have docked s3 for the eyecatches/team line up. i actually liked them at the midway point of the episode, but i was annoyed that it was only in s3 and not in s1&2. the fact it only happened in s3 made them grate a little even if they’re a cute idea but like… either have them in all seasons or not at all??? don’t introduce them in the last season!!!
-kagami’s side of the story is really weak. idk if it’s an adaptation choice or if it’s the case of the manga but… not an awful lot of time is spent that much with alex or himuro, so i care much less about them. but. alex, generally pretty gross, as a fan service object. i don’t know how old she is either but it doesn’t help. also himuro’s team only get one match so it’s harder to gauge growth tbh? but i enjoyed his interactions with takao, and i liked seeing kagami get on with himuro, so maybe had the flashback dragged their friendship out more, before himuro’s insecurity and bullshit promise happen, i could have rooted for it more. or shown more angst and conflict on kagami’s side, idk. but it was kinda glossed over for me.
-so yeah for me, s2 is both best (hanamiya & murasakibara) and worst (alex & himuro) season out of the three (momoi being used for fan service also not great btw)
-i think the anime would have benefited from spending a little more time not playing basketball and seeing them off court shenanigans tbh. i might have cared more for various characters (seirin & himuro) if that had been the case. you do get snippets often, but… it wasn’t enough beyond barely being serviceable. they’re cute and funny, but my investment levels are neutral tbh. like the moe couplets don’t mean much to me, bc it’s sometimes just feels as if the gom need a minder, and supposing that something similar to kurokaga is happening to the gom in their separate teams. imahana are my special guys, tho, since i got a penchant for nasty personalities and creeping people out, and the fact that these two have history, commenting on each other’s matches.
despite that. yeah, this show is a 10/10. why? bc kuroko succeeds in his goals. from the start to finish, it’s about kuroko trying to enjoy basketball again, and help his teikou teammates to enjoy basketball again. and he succeeds. and i fucking care about the gom!!! while i am ambivalent to seirin (sans kagami), i absolutely see how seirin is the team kuroko needed, so it works for kuroko, which in turn works for me. this whole thing was started by kuroko and ogiwara, even tho it’s peripheral, but it ended with them hoping to play next year, so it does feel full circle to me.
i love the gom & kagami friendships. i love the superhero sport matches. the soundtrack is awesome. i am consistently entertained.
so yeah, it was really worthwhile to rewatch and see how my feelings had changed or stayed the same.
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For Talk Shop Tuesday - what gave you the confidence to start writing OCs, and how do you manage to mesh them so well with their respective universes?
How I got confidence to start writing them…well honestly, it’s because of Morgan’s existence and the outside encouragement I got from a friend of mine 😂:
Morgan’s not my first OC—I wrote a couple OCs for Warrior Cats back in the day; I’ve had a couple vague Ace Attorney OC concepts since 2018; and although Lucy was recently fleshed-out and made a proper OC, the Skywalker triplet idea is one I’ve been trying to make work since 2015 (the Kenobi show just finally made that click).
But Morgan is the first OC to grab me and not let me go, and there was just…so much potential there, even a year after I came up with her in 2020. So with the encouragement of a Tumblr mutual (who would eventually become an irl friend), I wrote Morgan’s intro fic! Though…even then, she wasn’t the version of her we know and love. That evolution would come with time (and she’d also gain new and wonderful relationships…hello, platonic-soulmates Barry & Morgan, besties Morgan & Iris, etc). She would also, slowly but surely, become the lens through which I engaged with the show 😂 I still write non-Morgan Flash fics, but it’s definitely infrequent because of how entwined Morgan is with my Flash viewing experience (ever since I first watched s2!)
To put it simply…I had an awesome cheerleader and a thirst to get to know Morgan more. And the same is true for Lucy, whom I’ve written! Once it finally clicked how she could fit in, it was like I kept going “okay and?” and filling in more blanks, and it just snowballed 😂 in a good way ofc, which I’m very glad for.
It definitely comes down to which OCs stay in my mind, which ones I feel I can actually write a story for. Some of my OCs probably won’t get written, simply because I’m either not super active in those fandoms or putting them to prose is more daunting. It’s a feeling I get 😂 but I definitely advise any newbie OC creators…if you’re unsure about writing a fic for any of your OCs, start small! Start with snippets, oneshots in a series, drabbles. Don’t try to force it, or you’ll kill your muse. And having cheerleaders helps—joining the OC community has been wonderful, because I’ve gotten to meet people with wonderful OCs who love mine too! It’s a win-win 💞
As for how I mesh them so well with their respective universes…aww that’s very sweet 🥰 honestly it just comes down to rewatching the source material and figuring out where to fit them in. Outlining helps…but sometimes I also just get a gut feeling.
Example: Morgan wasn’t initially going to be part of rescuing Ronnie, and her finding out after the fact would cause tension between her and Team Flash later, but…I vetoed that because a) too much tension gets to be a hindrance and b) her being there gives me a chance to show the reader her and Ronnie, rather than just telling…and set up Barry as a parallel to Ronnie in her life (showing that, rather than simply telling). It was a deviation from my outline, but it’s the feeling I got while rewatching 🤷♀️ and I’m glad I kept it!
The key is definitely to know the source material inside and out…and be flexible! Try different things, even if they don’t work out! Who knows, you might strike gold you never expected. And know which relationships are key. Which ones have you shown? Which ones have you shortchanged? How can you fix that (if you want to fix it)?
Of course, this advice won’t work for everyone 😂 I’m guided by characterization above all else, and not everyone’s like that. But hopefully that gives you (and anyone else reading) some insight into me as an OC creator.
talk shop tuesday!
Taglist (send an ask or DM to be added or removed):
@ocappreciationtag @arrthurpendragon @vexic929 @raith-way @ironverseocs @thechaoticfanartist @goldheartedchaoticdisaster
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ok there were some cute moments I guess (still kinda boring overall imo)
random thoughts/observations:
• I know they spent most of the budget on the location because that snake shield looks like it was stolen from the set of a primary school play
• THE CGI SNAKES AREN'T ANY BETTER
• the foundations of Merlin & Gaius's relationship seem already established. Merlin sneaks around when he shouldn't (and lies about it), Gaius worries. (At some point Gaius says "I fear you'll land yourself in trouble" [!] which I found interesting, especially because of the use of the word "fear". I realise it was most likely used as a standard idiomatic expression, but it sums up Gaius pretty well). And:
GAIUS: What do I do if you get caught? MERLIN: What would you do? GAIUS: Well, you just make sure it doesn't happen, for both our sakes.
• "he gets all the glory and the girls" > he doesn't know. he doesn’t know yet that Arthur's a friendless loser
• Arthur's first "shut up!" ٩(^ᗜ^ )و
• Merlin spends so much of this episode sans-neckerchief. I'm not used to it. Sir, your neck is not meant to be thus exposed. Cover yourself.
• Merlin going to Gwen for help with the armour was so cute. He was like, "I only have one (1) friend here, hopefully she can help". (Because he was actually surprised that Gwen knew so much about armour? boy just took a chance)
• Also firmly established in this ep: Arthur's daddy issues
• Merlin and Arthur's first moment 🥺 (immediately ruined by Arthur being Arthur)
• It doesn't matter how much they make Morgana ogle men, I know she is a lesbian
• I like that Morgana and Arthur squabble like siblings, BUT Morgana tells Arthur she used to help her father with her armour when she's helping Arthur prepare for the final battle? How old was she when she got "adopted" by Uther?? Because they're making it sound like it wasn't too long ago
• Aww, Merlin was actually enjoying the tournament. Cheering for Arthur and everything. I think S5 Merlin would be tense as fuck; this poor baby doesn't even know that Arthur is a magnet for assassination attempts
• ¿¿WHAT'S WITH THE GIANT CHESS PIECE??
• THE SNAKE'S RUBBER HEAD PLEASE 😭 WHAT WAS THE BUDGET FOR THE PROPS. Did they spend it all on the giant chess piece
• Rewatching the scene in which Arthur accuses Valiant of using magic now that I know more about Arthur and Uther’s relationship makes it easier to appreciate how much of a Big Deal it was for Arthur to be made to look like a fool in front of his father. I felt sorry for him in a way I probably didn't the first time :(
• Even so, Arthur confidently proclaiming that there is a witness to Valiant's sorcery while in the background Merlin’s being informed that said witness is dead was actually so fucking funny. > Arthur: we have a witness! he can tell us everything! (cut to Merlin facepalming in the background as he listens to Gaius)
• I didn't remember Merlin got sacked in episode 2 already LMAO
• Merlin and Gwen being partners in crime <3 She literally didn't know what Merlin needed that dog statue for. He said, "hey, can you help me steal this?" and she just went, "okay :)" (I love them)
• HELP HE IS SO SMOL I CAN'T BREATHE 😭
• Genuinly impressed by this good boy's acting skills
• Merlin gets a first glimpse of Arthur's noble soul (or stupidity) when Arthur refuses to back down from the fight even though he knows Valiant is using magic. He's almost shocked by it. It's interesting to contrast to S5 Merlin, who knows Arthur "better than he knows himself", and knows that he would go to Camlann even if he knew he was destined to die there.
• Arthur's confident mask almost slipping when he tells Morgana "I'll see you at the feast" because he believes he will die in the tournament. PLEASE HE'S BEING SO NOBLE AND BRAVE AND HE'S LITERALLY JUST A BABY
Funny/notable lines:
Do you hear clanging?
ARTHUR: I don't get nervous. / MERLIN: Really? I thought everyone got nervous. / ARTHUR: Will you shut up!
I wouldn't lie to you. (!!)
The half cannot truly hate what makes it whole.
[sigh] on to episode 1x02
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Chapter 2 : Strangers
Author's note : a a a hello, im finally back with another chapter! It's a bit longer than the first one 👀 Just recently rewatched arcane with a friend and it was mentally exhausting but i loved it as always :') but hopefully you' ll like this chapter! Have fun reading 💕
Words : 4101
Masterlist
Clench.
Unclench.
Clench.
Unclench.
Smack.
A rough hand rubbing a slightly dirtied cheek.
"Ow, okay. I'm definitely not dreaming."
Eyes closing in exasperation.
"Great."
Body too tense to even function properly.
Everything felt unsafe.
Standing was getting tiring but she wouldn't dare to sit down.
Instincts were telling her to do something.
Hell even take a damn fighting stance.
To atleast get the feeling that she "knew" what to do next.
Fighting would always be one of the most helpful solutions.
But against what could she fight?
There wasn't anything to fight against or to even take her frustration out.
Where even was she? Where would she go?
The only lead fell unconscious out of fear.
Because of her.
"Because of me."
Hands twitching.
Begging to somehow release all the pent up emotions.
"Fuck."
A shaky breath.
Vi didn't know where she was.
What to do.
How to cope.
Where to go.
So many questions were floating inside of her mind.
She hated it.
She hated herself and mostly this sense of helplessness.
For the first time, not even fighting could help her with this problem.
Vi wasn't one to fully support violence. It was just a fairly easy way to solve problems rising in the Undercity when talking wouldn't suffice and her strenght was one of the things she was confident in.
Or that's how it would be in her world.
But she wasn't.
She could feel it as soon as she crashed into this stranger's living room.
Objects, that would carry a ghost of a resemblance to something she has seen or had never seen before.
Buildings unlike anything she had grown up with.
After the stranger fell unconscious, she carried them onto their bed, atleast somehow wanting it for them to be comfortable.
She wasn't gonna be that coldhearted to let a stranger lie on the floor after a panic attack. Even if she was distrustful at first and still is, she couldn't blame them for attempting to take her down with a bat and that they only wanted to defend themselves.
After all she did practically break into someone's place and she would be lying if she didn't feel any shame for being the cause of someone's panic attack.
It would have been fine if that would have happened to someone else inside prison or somewhere in the undercity. Most of the people there deserved it and it would be one person less to deal with.
It's not like she wanted to be here either.
She just wanted to somehow catch some rest onto that shitty prison bed after having beaten some guy for harassing her but the next thing happens and she suddenly falls onto a wodden floor in some random place that clearly didn't belong anywhere she had been.
More like herself didn't belong wherever the hell she was.
Looking out of a small window next to some kind of huge black box, she could sometimes see some sort of vehicles pass by.
They were pretty bland looking.
But she could tell they were much more safer than the ones she knew of.
She also saw them earlier when she went out after having layed the stranger to bed.
She just had to know where the fuck she was.
Luckily the place wasn't too high up so she opted for jumping out of the window.
The sky was clear and there was some snow lying around the streets.
It really has been a while since she had seen it the last time.
What also caught her eyes, were the houses or how they were "built" . They looked less pretentious and "fancy" in comparison to the ones in Piltover but still looked like something you could only dream of having in the Undercity.
Taking a look at your house, it looked a bit bigger than the others but there were also many parked vehicles infront of it and the sounds she could sometimes hear coming from above your room only confirmed that there were other people living in the same building.
"Now, where the hell am I supposed to go?"
She asked herself and got only a small winter breeze as an answer.
Taking a deep breath, she turned right and walked.
She could only go right and left by the looks of the street, so fuck it.
"Yeah, just fuck it."
So she walked.
Walked.
And walked.
Slowly her steps began to be faster.
Faster and faster until she was full on sprinting.
She didn't know where she was running to.
It was just aimlessly following the street.
Or was it?
She just felt like running.
She had to.
Her body was screaming for her to do something. Do something with this frustration.
This hopeless feeling of not knowing anything.
Of resembling a newborn baby, who knows nothing of this world.
What could it do by it's own?
Nothing.
And that's exactly how Vi felt.
Hungry, shitty and helpless.
So she ran.
And ran and ran and ran.
Until she came to a stop.
Her breath coming out in small huffs and resembling the smoke of a cigarette.
It stung inside of her nose everytime she would take a breath but she was too worked up to feel anything at that moment.
It was just too much.
The people around her began to stare.
She seemed to have reached downtown as more and more people seemed to be gathering around this place.
But did that bother her?
Normally it wouldn't but this time it did.
Everything screamed outlandish.
With every step she had taken, it would just dawn on her more and more that she was in the wrong place.
A complete stranger.
A complete outcast.
Plenty of parents with their children were passing by, happily holding their parents hands.
Everyone seemed so...
Comfortable.
Seemingly living a simple life as they went through the streets, not having to worry about if they would get by through the day without having to endanger themselves to scrape for food.
Nothing she had the pleasure of experiencing.
Clenching her fists, she turned around and began to walk back.
She had just ran straight so finding her way back shouldn't be too difficult.
Her body trembling due to the cold but in her mind, it was her frustration.
And she didn't know where she could direct it to.
Towards this world?
Towards you?
Towards herself?
Another thing she was unsure of.
A scowl had been sitting on her face the entire time. Her nose scrunching every time she would look around.
She had never felt so much out of place.
Even more whenever she used to break into Piltover to steal.
Everywhere she went, she would always find a way.
Would know what to do.
And whenever she needed help, she knew where to go and who to ask.
But here?
Nothing.
She just wanted to get back. Hell, even that shitty prison cell would be better than here.
Everything made her unsure.
Fearful.
And the only lead she had was you.
That's where she landed and she had no other choice than to go back and stick around until you would eventually wake up.
Hopefully you could help her.
But until then, she had to wait and deal with her own emotional rollercoaster.
Taking a deep breath to calm herself down from earlier, she moved her eyes onto the wall.
There, she could see some pictures standing on a shelve.
Eyes softening as a certain picture caught her eye.
Taking a step towards it, she reached out to get a better look.
Gently grasping it with her hand, she looked at it with a small huff through the nose.
It was a picture of you with a similar looking younger boy. Your arms were slinged around his neck and both of them seemed to be smiling brightly.
Maybe the smaller kid was your younger brother?
"Kinda cute." she said under her breath.
Was the feeling of helplessness making her more sentimental than usual?
Perhaps.
Biting her lips to stop their trembling, she put it back onto it's shelve.
Fuck, she really had to pull herself together not to cry.
That's the last thing she wanted.
To add more problems, she was also feeling pretty hungry.
The last meal she had was some days ago.
Enforcers thought making her starve for the millionth time would make her "behave" better but all they'd get is a spit onto their face.
And ransacking your house just to find some food wasn't gonna be one of her plans.
You already had enough to deal with.
But most importantly . . .
She didn't have time to get cozy.
She didn't belong here.
But did she have anything to lose? She had been in a pretty fucked up place for years and did she really have to hurry back?
It looked pretty cozy here after all. Better than anything you could find in the Undercity...
"No. I can't just stay here", frowning while shaking her head at her own thoughts, she sat down onto an arm chair and burried her face into her hands.
"I have to get back. For Powder."
She had to.
She had sworn it since that day.
Only her shaky breathing could be heard.
"But how the fuck am I gonna do that?"
Shit.
Her voice was starting to crack.
Nothing was going well and Vi didn't know shit how to deal with this.
She hated it.
It was the same helpless feeling when she saw her dead parents.
It was the same shitty helpless feeling when she watched Vander die.
Mylo, Claggor, Ekko and Powder.
She had lost them all.
Just because she couldn't do anything.
Vi swore to herself to be stronger. To be the person to protect her family.
But again, she failed.
Weak.
She could almost hear herself in the back of her mind.
Reminding her that no matter how much she would train, it would never be enough.
She had never grown out of that little girl, that could do nothing but watch.
And this time, it wasn't going to be different.
So the only hope she had was waiting for you to wake up.
Even though she hated having to depend on someone else, especially a stranger, you were the only hope she had.
Leaning back, she put an arm over her eyes.
A tear running down her cheek as she took deep breaths to calm herself down.
When was the last time she had cried?
Sadly not too long ago.
Vi could feel the exhaustion slowly creeping up.
"Fuck it.", she said as she let herself succumb to it.
She was just too damn tired to care at this point.
Maybe it would prove to be a dream after all, but her own doubts were telling her to throw that idea out of the window.
Putting her arm onto the arm rest, she closed her eyes.
< Might as well catch some rest >
She thought to herself as she listened to the ticking of the clock on the wall, letting it accompany her to a restless sleep.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You could feel your head wanting to curse you to death as soon as you woke up.
You groggily lifted your hand to your head to check how huge the bump was.
A a a h, great. It wasn't a dream.
Closing your eyes, you let your head fall onto your pillow and closed your eyes.
...
IT WASN'T A DREAM
Quickly sitting up was a big mistake as the blood rushed too fast into your head, making your head pound even more.
"Ow, fuck! I shouldn't have done that."
Pulling a face, you rubbed your temples in hopes to somehow ease the pain.
After having given your body some minutes to adjust, you slowly got up.
Taking your phone into your hand, you take a look at the time as you unplug it from it's charger.
4:42pm??? Holy shit, I got knocked out real bad.
... Wait, she didn't knock me out, lol. I just fell unconcious because she broke in and shit escalated.
Yes.
Shit escalated indeed.
And some of the fear was coming back because you still didn't know how to deal with this situation.
What were you supposed to do?
Or tell her?
And how?
If you remember correctly, she could understand none of anything you had said to her even if it wasn't much.
That means that you had to resort to hand gestures and pointing.
How were you supposed to tell her that you knew pretty much everything about her without possibly getting duked out by her?
Hi, hello. I'm Y/N and I have pretty much watched you lose your parents and your other family in the later season, your sister turned out batshit crazy and pretty much traumatized, you'll meet a pretty hot enforcer and oh did I mention, that you'll find your sister but she just gets more mentally unstable due to shimmer and you'll be invited to a tea party, which will endanger your and your hot enforcer companion's life but at the end the person you hate gets killed by your sister aaaaand you'll get to watch your sister blow the council up, where your hot enforcer's mom is sitting.
Ye e a a a a h, I'll definitely tell her that.
"U g gh h h h h, what the hell am I supposed to do???!" you groaned as you put your face into your hands, wishing for something to just take you away so you wouldn't have to deal with this.
Exhaling, you went towards the light switch next to your door and turnrd the lights on.
"I'll just change my clothes so I can atleast spare myself the embarassment of having shown her my snotty face and my with chips stained shirt."
You were still feeling pretty uneasy about saying her name outloud.
A part of you didn't want to believe it.
Hopefully that feeling would subside because your gut was telling you that you would be stuck with each other for a while.
Please no.
You grimaced to yourself as you took out a grey oversized hoodie, a pair of black sweatpants, a simple black bra and some cute socks with printed dog paws.
Having changed your clothes, you threw the clothes you had worn into a basket for your dirty laundry, which had gotten full recently.
You will surely find some time to do it.
Right?
But not before stuffing the rest of your dirty clothes, that had been lying on your floor, into your basket.
Grabbing your brush from your bedside table, you brush your hair while slightly lifting the shutters of your window.
"Nooo, it's already dark outside. Didn't really wanna buy groceries when it's dark outside but oh well"
Sighing to yourself, you put your brush away to tie your hair up into a low ponytail.
Not really wanting to tidy up your bed, you walked towards your door.
And just stood there.
Slowly lifting your hand to push the handle, you took notice of it's trembling.
Shit, you couldn't deny that you were afraid of her.
Afraid of everything.
She literally slammed you against the wall and choked you.
You knew that she was strong but after having seen her in action, you were scared shitless.
And she didn't even use her full strenght.
Probably realised that you couldn't even kill a spider if you wanted to.
There was just too much you didn't know how to deal with and you didn't know what could prove to be some sort of help for you.
Definitely not those fanfictions.
Not wanting to drive yourself crazy any further with your thoughts, you kinda tried to motivate yourself.
"O-okay, let's just greet her nicely and I don't know?? I'll just say hello, go to the bathroom and tell her somehow that I'll go grocery shopping??? Yeaaaaah, let's somehow do that."
You gripped the handle and slowly pushed it down, not wanting to loudly announce your presence.
Peeking your head out, you saw her sleeping soundly on your armchair.
With soundly, you meant her snoring.
Okay, that's kinda funny to be honest but now I'm scared that I'll wake her up if I even breathe
Gulping, you opened the door further and tip toed your way out of your room.
Slowly nearing the armchair, you approach her from the left side.
Peaking at her face, you let out a soft "oh" out of your mouth.
There she was.
Head tilted to the side and her mouth slightly open.
Slightly bending down infront of her to check if she was really sleeping, you gazed at her face.
Due to her tilted head, her hair was covering half of her face but you could make out a surprisingly relaxed expression on her face and there was also a bit of drool leaking from the corner of her mouth.
Mood.
You smiled to yourself, letting out a small huff through your nose.
It does look cute though.
The fact that you were able to even look at her face at all should be illegal. It really did feel as if you were doing something forbidden.
Taking a glance at her hair, you wondered how it hadn't woken her up yet.
Well, I would have woken up from that but maybe she was just that tired?
Pondering about the reasons that had made her so tired, you unconciously reached your hand towards her hair.
Didn't really expect her to stay but she probably doesn't have any other choice. I don't even want to imagine how fucked up this is for her. Suddenly landing in an unknown world? I would have had ten breakdowns already.
Glancing at her face, you could see your hand nearing her hair.
Your breath hitched as you had realised what you were about to do.
WHOa excuse me, what are we doing there??
You stood straight from your slightly bend position while quickly pulling your hand back.
We better let her sleep, okay. For o u r own safety that is.
Taking a last look at her, you could see some goose bumps rising on her arms.
Oh, shit! She's cold.
Looking for something to cover her up with, you conviently had your blanket from last night still lying on your couch.
Only needing two steps to reach your couch, you take the blanket in your hands.
Okay, okay. Just do it gently but not too slow.
But also not too fast to wake her up aaaand just go for it, Y/N.
Seeing her relaxed face really pressured you not to mess up.
You knew that she wasn't gonna just jump on you for waking her up but that doesn't mean that you wanted to challenge that fact.
Now we're just treating her like a damn animal. Great.
Frowning at yourself, you slowly approached her while gripping the blanket.
You covered her upper body with such delicacy, making sure that her arms were tucked in nicely in hopes that it wouldn't slip down if she were to move in her sleep.
"Hng"
Immediately standing straight like you've been caught red handed, you stare at her face as if daring her to open her eyes.
BRO, JUST SLEEP
Luckily she only shifted a bit to tilt her head to the other side before continuing her sleep.
For good measure, you stood there for solid 3 minutes until you made sure that she wasn't gonna wake up soon.
Let's just...go and shop for some groceries.
Taking a last look at her face, you maneuver your way to the bedroom for your phone, to the kitchen for the list you had prepared some days ago and to your entrance for your jacket.
All while tip toeing.
Sneak level 100, I see.
You quietly laughed to yourself.
You put your hand into your jacket's pockets to check if your key and wallet were there.
Key and wallet are there. Then let's g o o o
Glancing behind your shoulder, she still slept peacefully.
Opening the door as if it was made out of glass that could break any second, you squeezed yourself through it as soon as you could fit to avoid the door's creaking and waking her up.
"Aaaaa, I did it!!", you whisper-yelled to yourself after you had closed the door behind you, nearly skipping towards the apartment complex's entrance.
"And now I better hurry because I definitely don't feel comfortable with the thought of her waking up just to not find me in my own home."
Wouldn't wanna know how that would turn out
Not wanting to leave her alone for too long, you jogged towards your car, which had been parked on the parking lot infront of the entrance.
" IT'S COLD. ", you exclaimed while jamming your keys into your car's door.
You close the door quickly as fast as you had opened it or more like as fast as you could since you didn't wanna break your precious car's doors.
"Hello, my cute little bluebird. How have you been?", you cooed at your blue Nissan Micra K11 while patting it's steering wheel.
"Let's go shopping, shall we?", you said as you turned it on and started to make your way towards the grocery store, that was only 10min away by car.
-------------------------------------------------------
You were already in front of your apartment complex's door after half an hour. It was easy for you to navigate through the store and find the things you needed since it hasn't really changed that much in your 5 years living in this small town.
You did buy more than you usually would though since you did have a "guest" at home and you had a feeling that she was pretty damn hungry.
Or more like roommate
Vi had already opened her eyes some minutes before you had come back. She was surprised when she found herself covered in an unbelievably soft blanket. Not to mention that she actually got to catch a good nap but that just showed how utterly tiring the last hours had been and it just had been too long since she has gotten the chance to sleep in something far more better than that stone hard bed in prison and actually sleep through without waking up every 20 minutes.
She would be lying to herself if she'd say that she wasn't comfortable at all and she was still feeling quite drowsy from her nap.
After getting some feeling back in her body by stretching her limbs, she propped her elbow onto the armrest and leaned her head onto her hand.
Gazing at the floor, her eyebrows started to furrow in thought. Slowly she could feel herself getting fully awake.
Or more like it was starting to sink in, what was actually going on.
"Did I just seriously take a fucking nap in here?", she muttered to herself stunned.
Slamming the door behind you unintended, you heave the bags with you while grasping your key in your hands.
Heaving the bags in your arms, you walk towards your door, the rustling of your bags bouncing off the walls.
You slowly insterted and turned the key to your door, not sure if she was already awake or not and if she wasn't then you didn't want to scare her out of her sleep by being too loud.
Well, it wasn't really easy to stay quiet as you entered since you had two bags of groceries on each arm and had to push the door open with your foot.
Meanwhile Vi had been staring at the door like a deer on headlights and could only watch as you entered the room, too much on edge to move as she hadn't really thought about how to approach or even talk to you.
< Shit, what do I do?! >
"What the fuck, these bags are heavy. Better more than less though, am I right?", you convinced yourself while closing the door behind you.
< What the fuck is she saying ?? >
You turn on the lights of your small hallway, the light slightly illuminating your living room.
And there you saw her. Looking at you with wide eyes, knuckles turning white from gripping your armchair too tightly.
You just stood there.
Staring.
Well, shit.
< Shit. >
Two different people from two different worlds, staring at each other with an identical thought ringing through their mind unbeknownst to them.
This was gonna be really really awkward.
Taglist: @imdumbhi @chunkysuga @rezeluv @sleepless-addict @haru-yuu @iloveallmenandwomen @primrose-x0x @artsandshadows @skullz-system @luvmeijii @icedcoffeedisaster @cutttteeee @imtallerthanyou @slut4jinx
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So I'm rewatching "The Best Revenge is Dressing Well" (surprise! Said no one) and one thing I've noticed that first struck me kinda weird, but I wanna talk through, is the slight level of competition/personal jealousy between our co-captains before the party goes to shit and they come together at the end.
(Image from The Verge.)
We go into the episode from Ed's perspective, mostly - this is the first time we get any solid, personally emotional backstory on him, focused specifically around racism and class difference (done SO WELL, as has already been mentioned) so we know he's already hyperfocused on "winning" this situation, getting the approval of who he was taught by his mother to be his "betters," even though he knows - logically, as an adult, as we saw in what he said to the captain they took down - that that's not necessarily true, it just still feels like it is, to him. So, he's very invested in impressing them, already.
Stede - who doesn't even want to be there - should, theoretically, not care so much about that approval himself - but as we see, he starts acting a little jealous when Ed takes attention away from him, which makes the partygoers a) ignore him or b) antagonize him outright whenever he tries to get a word in. From there, he scoffs - at first - at Ed's continued attempts to impress them (the piano playing, the minor shenanigans) and then removes himself from the situation entirely - looking for Frenchie and Olu, and then taking refuge in the quiet on deck.
I think its important to note that in the opening of the episode, as he and his crew are supposed to be learning from Ed's crew in the raid, he's not exactly on the most confident of footing - he identifies several bad habits, as he points out, one of which we see Ed correct (the swap-looting) as well as needing Ed's help with interrogation tactics (as much as Ed's behavior there interested him in.... other ways). So to him, being among the gentry again, I think he expects to be at least on equal or equalish footing with them, and to hopefully impress Ed in the process since these are "his people."
But the point is - they're not. They abandon him for Ed the moment Ed proves more interesting, insulting him, even - which Ed plays into, out of his own desire to be approved of - which is probably very triggering for Stede, because of his history of being bullied. AND because of wanting to be accepted, himself, and once again failing to reach that. And what's more comfortable than feeling powerless in the face of all that, as always? A little jealousy, especially since - with their approval on (what seems, at first to be) his own terms - Ed doesn't "need" Stede's guidance here after all. That, of course, enmeshed with genuine concern that these people will drop Ed, like they dropped him, which we do see him express - only to be ignored, again. So not only is he not popular with them, but his expertise of what happens with these types of people after they tire of you is discarded, as well. Leaving Stede in a very powerless situation, once again.
I think its also interesting to note, that considering that Stede's trying to win in Ed's world (piracy) and Ed's trying to win in Stede's (aristocracy) - especially with the excuse of the "plan" to take Stede's place - the idea of competition is already subconsciously there, in a sense. On top of the fact that in friendships of the same (perceived) gender, competition can often be encouraged by society at large, too - which pops up a LOT in the kind of "buddy comedy" stories that more mainstream folks seem to have assumed this story was, at first.
So I think the writers were trying to address all that and nip it in the bud.
Because, of course, that all goes to hell - Ed makes a mistake with the spoons, and they turn on him too, which sends him right back to Stede. At first, with intentions to take care of the situation himself, violently. But here Stede steps up for real - facing the situation for what it is, jealousy and fears of inadequacy be damned - and showing up for the person he was supposed to be there for in the first place. That, as always, is where his true power is found - being true to himself, AND to the people in his care. Even telling Ed to stand down, and let him handle it. Ed may not be capable of meeting them where they're at, when it turns verbally-cruel (except to turn deserved physical violence on them), but Stede can. And does, with the use of Frenchie and Abshir's knowledge - hysterically, taking them all down - getting them to take themselves down - in a manner that ends in violence after all (which they, again, technically visit upon themselves - just like the demise of both Badmintons).
And that - having to step up and be there for Ed and let go of the idea of giving any fucks about what these folk expect of him, approve of, etc. - gets them back on track (and is kind of great foreshadowing for what happens in the last episode, and what will come next, I hope I hope). There is no note of individual jealousy or competition, really, at all between them from then on - even the banter during the swordfighting lessons is charged with just flirting and affection, no any real sense of trying to win one over the other, and the jealousy over Calico Jack's appearance later is about that relationship, not about Ed being better than Stede or vice versa. Any trace of that is done with - they've moved past it.
Leaving wide, open space for Stede to catch Ed at his softest, most vulnerable so far, looking at the red silk again after the party's rejection. And to offer him praise - calling him sophisticated after all, and meaning it, because what he's seen of Ed so far - already - is truer than any of the bullshit pandering and passive aggression the upper crust displayed to either of them.
Sophisticated means: "having, revealing, or proceeding from a great deal of worldly experience and knowledge of fashion and culture."
So what Ed's shown him, both in his own experience as a pirate and his own willingness to learn about new things and deal with people who - Stede knows - are less than both of them after all, THAT fits the word much better than any idea of high society.
🍊💕
#meta#inspiration#ofmd#stede bonnet#blackbonnet#stedward#otp#true love#trope subversion#storytelling
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I rewatched season 2 and its made me realize that I'm kinda accepting crumbs regarding Byler scenes. They had sooo many scenes in season 2 and were a big focus, honestly I wouldn't have been surprised if the build up they had would've led to a kiss 🤷. They are getting romantic development and I can tell there are feelings from both sides but it feels like it's developing at snails pace, they don't get that many scenes together. The scenes we got just before the road trip were *chefs kiss* but there was so much potential with the road trip storyline and so far we've only been given one scene during the road trip era that helps really develops and hints at the romantic feelings between them. The other scenes they have together during this era just feel like filler. In vol 2 I think we really need to get more scenes that strongly hint of at them being requited (even something like them nearly kissing or holding hands etc) and we really need to get a stronger glimpse into Mike's head that shows in more depth, the feelings of angst and his feelings for Will. I am certain it's requited but imo it'll feel weird for Mike to confess his love by the end of the season if they don't give us much of that build up that is kind of necessary. In general we need more scenes that develop the relationship (especially on Mike's side) and just that angst and that build up, especially because Mike would be dealing with internalised homophobia. ADATS is my favorite fanfiction and it has the most amazing build up before anything happens between them....all the near kisses, focusing on Mike's internalised homophobia, etc. I think it'll feel the most rewarding if we get that kind of build up on the show.
Omg I also love ADATS precisely bc of all the buildup!! The fic is so so good and they don't even kiss the whole time 🧍🏼♂️ yet it almost makes it better that they didn't somehow, lol. I think it's hard to translate this type of thing over to the series bc we don't get to see into the characters' thoughts, so our only hints are their behavior and what they actually say. Since Will would never say anything bc he doesn't want to ruin his friendship with Mike, and Mike is too oblivious to completely grasp his feelings, it's hard to make it explicit to viewers how they feel.
This is why I think the Vecna trances are the perfect way to make it clear exactly how both Mike and Will feel and how they're dealing with it internally. Since Vecna attacks the deepest traumas and insecurities and uses guarded memories to do so, this is where the writers can make it obvious to the audience that Mike and Will have feelings for each other. I'm hoping that since the vol 1 scenes between Mike and Will felt more like filler scenes, the vol 2 scenes will pull out all the stops. I'm confident that Will at least will be further developed (and hopefully Mike too) in vol 2, using Vecna visions.
#i am HOPING for vecna trances leading to byler 🤞🏻🤞🏻 this is the best way to do it narratively to make it clear to the audience what mike and#will have been dealing with#byler#ask sarah#anon tag
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Yandere Aone Takanobu
These are my interpretations of his persona and none of these are 100% accurate. I don't condone any of these actions in real life and all of this is purely fictional.
When it comes to Aone, I really just saw him as another side character until I rewatched the show and conversed with Aone simps. Hopefully I can do justice to his character and not butcher it. For his yandere type, I see him as overprotective, possessive, and clingy. Yes yes, the main 3 now let’s break it down!
Need I say more? His physique should be enough to explain what I say, it’s always the scary and intimidating folks that are the SOFTEST. I mean his biggest concern was that no one wanted to sit next to him on the train because he looked so scary like this poor soul. Moving on, I see him with an S/O who appreciates him a lot, to be more specific I mean his lack of communication but his attempt at the same time. He is so used to people choosing not to talk to him or ignoring him because he intimates others that I think aside from his team members, he doesn’t have much experience conveying his true emotions.
Overprotective. It comes as no surprise that many people who never had that pillar in their life are overprotective when they do get it, I feel like he and Kyotani are the same in that aspect just that he is less aggressive than Kyotani. Him having an S/O is not only a huge boost of confidence that allows him to bring a softer side of him but also a more, well confident side. He has someone who loves him and wants to get close to him, of course he would vow to protect them. His looks and persona are intimidating enough and he can use it if need be, but in reality I doubt he would throw a punch to anyone because violence isn’t the answer!
Possessive. Lord have mercy he is POSSESSIVE. He finally has someone who likes him so he isn’t going to screw this up, but he also isn’t going to allow someone to hurt them or even attempt to get ‘friendly’ with them. Someone is looking at his S/O, uh he might glare and ask his S/O if they want to move. Someone needs help in a subject and they have to tutor them? No problem, he could just catch up on his own studies in the same room. Honestly, it’s nothing to the point where it is excessive, but he would honestly be so flustered if his S/O teased him about being jealous.
Clingy. It ties in with him being possessive as well but a lighter version. He would absolutely run up to his S/O during practice if they were there waiting for him or watching him. During games? He would go to them and say he would try his best to win, his S/O simply encouraging him and he would be determined to be the entire iron wall himself. Hold his hand, please he needs and deserves it. He would honestly appreciate any form of being with his S/O and he would want to hold hands with them 25/8, of course if they said it was okay first.
I honestly don’t think Aone is any type of dangerous yandere. He strikes me as misunderstood and a BIG softie. Would be a huge fan of PDA behind closed doors and the occasional hand-holding/peck in public. These aren’t as long but that pretty much just covers what I think he would be as a yandere!
#yandere haikyuu#yandere#yandere anime#yandere haikyuu x reader#yandere haikyu#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere aone#yandere aone takanobu#yandere aone x reader#aone takanobu#aone#aone imagine#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyu#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x reader#aone x reader#aone x y/n#aone x you#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#yandere headcannons
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a chanbaek analysis from a veteran exo-l (part 2)
CLICK HERE TO READ PART ONE
Writing this was a bit harder in comparison to the first part, because I wanted to organize things into a neat timeline, but I ended up not having enough patience for it lol specially because both of ChanBaek's main archive blogs seem to have deleted their pages documenting each date of EXO's early years. Therefore I apologize in advance if this part is a bit more messy. Also, please don't forget that all of this is my opinion and I don't mean for any of it to be taken as truth!
I kind of want to jump from MAMA era directly into Wolf era, since we don't really have a lot of cover regarding their debut phase besides Chanyeol's overeagerness and Baekhyun's awkwardness towards it, so to sum it up, I felt as if Chanyeol was more confident and consistent on what he thought an idol should act like, while Baekhyun (sweet, innocent Baekhyun who was a trainee for less than a year!) was still unsure on how to act on camera.
On the few early variety shows/interviews EXO appeared on, the members always pointed out how funny Baekhyun was, how good he'd be at variety and at doing imitations, but he never really lived up to all the praise on camera, although off of it, he most likely was as good as his members claimed.
He was a bit stiff on his early days in comparison to what we see today, and that's normal, I guess, since he debuted really quickly, but when you compare him to Chanyeol the contrast is so interesting, because the latter was able to latch on to a persona as soon as the public gave him one, while to me, Baekhyun was still doubtful regarding what to put on display. In the end, deep inside, Baekhyun is a private person, and was even more so when he wasn't confident enough to talk to fans like he does today.
Once again, I’m sorry for not being able to upload the gifs directly into the post, so I’ll just link them like I did on my last one.
This is another one of the moments where Baek appears to tell Chanyeol to just. Hold on for a bit.
There's another one similar to this where Chanyeol does the same thing (try to whisper on Baekhyun's ear) and Baekhyun fake laughs and stares at a fan's camera right after. Then, his expression just goes blank. It's really interesting to watch because you can just see the gears spinning on Chanyeol's brain as he stares at Baekhyun for a second and clearly thinks alright, fanservice time, and leans in to whisper something: it happens so fast you just know it wasn't genuine whispering, just a playful interaction for the fans, and Baekhyun's direct stare to the camera as soon as it happens just confirms this for me.
1: Chanyeol spots his target.
2: He’s really thinking this through.
3: Baek's in a perfect position for whispering-time, so he leans in and does his thing.
4: Baekhyun laughs.
5: And stares directly at a fan's camera.
6: Immediately regrets his life choices. Chanyeol looks pleased.
It's actually better to watch the whole thing, so I'll leave it here. (starts on 0:28!)
(Random note: on this date EXO perfomed a cover of H.O.T's We Are The Future, and I feel like a lot of new EXO-Ls have not seem it and I adore this performance, so I'll link it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1-z4s3fdgo)
Now let's jump on to Wolf era, shall we?
Wolf era
I can't help but laugh when I think about how wild 2013 was for both EXO and EXO-Ls. They had their first hit song (which was Growl, not Wolf) the fandom grew considerably, shippers where just discovering the cute ISAC moments between "BaekYeol" and "HunHan"... Or at least that's how everyone remembers most of what happened during that year.
Are we forgetting the rumoured ChanBaek fight?
Considering their past interactions on airports, SMTOWN concerts, ISAC and other events, ChanBaek was now widely known to be close to each other. Baekhyun even said Chanyeol was the one who made him open up, and both of them mentioned feeling this "connection" to each other as soon as they met (although jokingly).
After Mama, the fandom was content-less for a considerable period of time, and what most people did was sharing around old performances and repeat overused memes. I think that in every fandom there is a period where fans establish their main inside jokes and basically just get together to create a collective line of thought for perceiving their idols. That being said, one of the most well established facts in the fandom was that Chanyeol and Baekhyun were close. That was a fact.But then Wolf came, and they suddenly were not.
This gif is a good example of how awkward their interactions were. Not even my delusional shipping brain in 2013 was able to come up with an explanation for it.
They simply did not acknowledge each other at all, and Chanyeol appeared to be closer to Kyungsoo (I think Baekhyun interacted a lot with Tao, but that may have been during the Growl era, not Wolf. As I said before, I'm a Chanyeol stan guys, sorry lmao).
Point is, these two boys who seemed to be best friends suddenly were clearly distant from one another.
What added fuel to the fire of the rumours was their appearance on Sukira, a radio show, where Sehun cried because the members sometimes had fights. Here's a fanacc:
[130530] EXO at Sukira
Sehun cried because the members sometimes fight.
Sehun: "Let's be loyal to each other, don't fight, and go until the end"
D.O: "We've been under a lot of stress lately because of the comeback, so I wish we won't fight in the future and do our best"
Here's a video cut of this part of their interview.
I think this ask on lets-talk-baekyeol, a popular ChanBaek analysis blog from back in the day, shows how curious a lot of fans were.
What happened back then?
There's really no answer for that. On my opinion, not even Chanyeol or Baekhyun could give us a concrete answer on it, because I don't think an actual fight happened. For me, it was most likely a personality clash, a disagreement that probably wasn't even voiced out loud, just both of them noticing how uncomfortable things got, if Baekhyun's reactions to Chanyeol's fanservice is any indication. I somehow doubt there was a specific episode that created this distance between them, specially because during Growl, they went back to being friends, although not as touchy on camera as before, as if one of them had established their limits (oh, I wonder who!), but I still have this feeling that all of this was unspoken, because unspoken things seem to be a pattern on ChanBaek's relationship (something I'll touch on later, hopefully).
But it was during Growl era that I noticed something else about Baekhyun.
Wolf era
EXO'S Showtime was a such a gift. I recommend reading lets-talk-baekyeol's blog for this. I don't really agree with everything they say they do present a lot of relevant points. I may repeat them here, since I noticed them myself as well, but credits for them nonetheless.
I remember finding the lack of ChanBaek interactions during the episodes really dissappointing, but considering the Wolf Era drought, this was better than nothing.
My 13 year old self was devastated when Baekhyun appeared so quiet during Chanyeol's birthday episode, and during a recent rewatch of it, I think realized why.
Baekhyun doesn't like superficial things. It's not that Chanyeol is insincere, but he's just better than Baekhyun is at handling people pleasing, even when he doesn't really mean what's he saying/doing. The Chanyeol birthday episode was heavily centered on Chanyeol's random admiration for Kai, which I think we can all agree that it was a little bit scripted or a really spur of the moment thing that they just ran along with and oh man. Baekhyun did not want to be part of it.
During ChanKai's hug, this is what he looked like on the background, and the poor boy even refused to eat cake. He's just in the back, which is weird, because he's such a talkative person and Chanyeol is one of his closest friends. The only moment where he seems to be genuinely comfortable is when Chanyeol blows the candle and it's really cute. To me, it seems that he was kind of embarrassed to witness so much acting from everyone else and was unable to participate because he struggles with things like this, but the moment Chanyeol blows his candles to comemorate his birthday seems sincere enough for him to fondly smile.
This ties in so well with everything from Mama Era. He's just unable to keep acting/people pleasing on the same easy way that Chanyeol does, but this time he's not as nervous about it as he was on his earlier-early days, where he probably felt pressured to actually do stuff. Now he just doesn't do **it, he just doesn't do something that he dislikes doing, and that sadly creates a distance between them on camera and probably on a deeper level in their relationship as well, because both are just realizing how different their perceptions over their jobs is.
There's also this moment that the mods on lets-talk-baekyeol pointed out.
On the Christmas episode, when the members leave the couch to go get their presents, Chanyeol stays seated while Baekhyun gets up to fetch his. This is the sitting arrangement before (almost) everyone got up:
But when Baekhyun comes back, there's free space next to Chanyeol, however he's hesitant to sit by his side. He actually hesitates and doesn't sit down. Jongdae even gives him a little push right after.
Baek just seems hesitant to do things on camera, to interact with Chanyeol in front of an audience. For this moment, I feel like he's afraid to sit next to Chanyeol and end up having to over act. It's not that Chanyeol himself makes him uncomfortable, but the image of the friendship that they ended up creating for fans demands a lot from him.
And when I say hesitant to do things on camera, I really do mean it, because when Baekhyun thinks he is not being recorded/seen, here's what he does:
Here and here.
Their relationship clearly changed, and I think the reason for it is actually simple: both of them were under the impression that they were compatible with each other when they actually were not. Their personalities are extremely different, even if the way they present themselves is sometimes similar. Wolf and Growl era was our way, as fans, of watching them navigate around each other and finding out how their relationship was supposed to work.
And you know what's nice about that? The members watched all of it unfold. Their reactions to some of ChanBaek's interaction is a gold mine when it comes to analyzing them, because they clearly know, just as we do, that their relationship is kind of complicated. But I want to talk about it on the next part.
I am sorry for cutting this off again! I don't know if the next part is going to be the last, because after Growl there's Overdose and we all know what happened on 2014 [coughs] dating scandal [coughs] god help me I don't want to talk about it [coughs] so there's a lot to uncover and I need time to organize stuff.
Thank you for reading!
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10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags
The lovely @bookshelfdreams tagged me (thanks for the tag!) to do this, and while I can't guarantee this will be a coherent list of characters (and reasons why I like them!) hopefully this will help at least make for interesting reading, if not some very un-hinged thoughts at the very least 🤷♀️
Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)
Rose was one of my earliest memories of being obsessed with a character. I started watching Doctor Who in about 2006/during season 2 (I would have been about 8/maybe 9 years old at the time) so I missed her initial introduction in season 1, but I went back and rewatched her stuff with the ninth doctor and I just absolutely loved how she was just an ordinary working class girl who wanted to go on adventures (of course I didn't understand that this was the reason why I loved her so much as a kid but yeah..)
Bucky Barnes (MCU)
Look, I know we all have our opinions/ and criticisms on the mcu (which I totally understand) but there was just something about Bucky that I gravitated towards (Probably because I found Sebastian Stan attractive, but I digress.) A young boy who was willingly wanting to go fight in the war to defend his country and then ending up going through arguably the worst kind of trauma that someone could go through. Then to see his journey and story progress through the years, for me, has been a real treat to watch.
Eddie Munson (Stranger Things)
Eddie became a very quick favourite of mine in such a short space of time (partly to Joseph Quinn playing him brilliantly) but I just loved how his character COULD have been this dark, brooding, misunderstood teen, but he was ACTUALLY a very sweet and warm character, despite what everyone else thought of him. He was just a funky little metal-head D&D nerd, and I loved him for that. I just really need him back for series 5 Please!!
Orla McCool (Derry Girls)
Again, Orla was just someone I gravitated towards, I can't quite put my finger on why, I just really liked her giddy optimism and strange but sweet outlook on things!
Harley Quinn (DCEU) is that what it's called sorry idk about these things! 🤦♀️
Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn is very special to me (Especially in her post Suicide Squad era) because she's outlandish and wacky, but also incredibly smart and quick. I'd read a handful of Harley comics and I just think she's really cool.
Elphaba Thropp (Wicked The Musical)
I can't really speak too much about her novel version because I haven't read enough of the book to form an opinion, but stage Elphaba has my entire heart. She's unapologetic in standing up for what she believes in and fighting what she believes is right, and I admire that about her.
Mabel Mora (Only Murders in the Building)
More so I love her relationship between Oliver and Charles, but Mabel's willingness to get stuck in and try to help to solve murders alongside her two slightly older friends was a very interesting dynamic to watch! Also I would kill to have her outfits because girls got style.
Gina Linetti (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)
How could you not love the absolute self-confidence and bravado of Gina Linetti! She was as will forever be the most <3
Tecna (Winx Club)
Although I sat through both seasons of that bad neflix adaptation, nothing compares to the original cartoon in my eyes (at least the first 4 seasons anyway.) I think it has something to do with how it captured my attention as a kid because the idea of pretty fairies to me as a child was very appealing! I think (although the whole group had their own merits) Tecna was my favourite even just from a character design standpoint.
Becky Lynch (WWE)
I don't know if this technically counts since she's a real person, and considering I haven't watched WWE for a while but Becky's in-ring persona, was always a fascinating and exciting watch for me! Especially finding her feet as 'Becky-Two-Belts' and her being 'The Man', she was strong, powerful and for a long time under-rated as a performer, but I loved her so so much!
Tagging (sorry I'm not tagging 10 people, also don't feel like you have to do this at all!)
@the-odd-aardvadillo @unlimiteddream90 @lucyferchrist @ndj-blogs @smute @pherre @amidalasweets @theravensdreamer
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Max & Helen - From the Beginning...
In preparation for the sharpwin ship sailing next week, I went and rewatched season 1 to really contextualise the way their relationship has developed, and I have to say it was quite eye opening.
The Introduction
We are introduced to Georgia in the first scene with Max via his phone screen, there’s a photo of her as his background photo. Their first conversation on screen happens when he calls her in the middle of this day just after he speaks to Helen for the first time
Max- Just calling to say hi
Georgia- Really?
Max- isn’t that what people do?
Georgia- people, yes. You…not so much.
Max- I’m trying, I’m going to change, I’m going to win you back
Georgia- well you have 12 weeks.
It isn’t until later that we find out fully that this marriage is failing and being held together by guilt and a difficult pregnancy, which makes it even worse that Max’s attempt at “trying” was calling her in the middle of the day to say nothing compelling.
Enter Helen- confident, smart, an asset to the hospital and the only doctor Max personally seeks out on his first day- to insist that she immediately cut down on travel or get fired. While the other doctors are stats and figures to him when he starts at New Amsterdam, Helen is Dr Helen. Already their relationship is being established as different from his relationship with the other doctors. In a throat biopsy, he’s distracted by her on tv- so distracted in fact, that he’s pushed to give her another ultimatum even though the first one hasn’t expired.
Max’s ultimatum was significant for Helen because for the first time since she had been running and hiding from the pain in her life, someone saw her and cared enough to make her stop. Even though it was a medical director she just met, and it was because of work, it was grounding for her for someone to see her and need her in that way.
Her choosing to come back was significant, not just because of Max, but because it was the catalyst for facing the emotional baggage she had been trying to escape.
So here we are- Max in the hospital where his sister died and donated her organs, trying to find closure and Helen- weighed down by emotional baggage that she’s ready to face.
Tell Me One True Thing
Georgia and Max meet in the hospital where he works- her energy is light and energetic; their connection is fun and their first date is in the hospital cafeteria. From that scene, their banter is fun and flirty, but Max is relaxed – they both are, it’s an easy connection. When Max proposes, he does it by the hospital when he’s on call! He’s in his scrubs and not only does he think that’s okay- she thinks that’s okay.
Their relationship never really existed outside of his career, he never put her first, and she points this out when she finds out about the medical director job. She knows that he will not choose her over the hospital, especially not the hospital where Luna died. The thing is, Max doesn’t even really try. He never chooses her, and she never actually expects him to.
When he almost dies at the lake and has the temporary epiphany that he has to take his cancer seriously, she doesn’t advocate for him to leave his job- even though…he almost died. She knows the job still comes first. Georgia and Max’s relationship thrived on emotional distance- when Georgia begs him in her hospital bed to tell her one true thing- he could only say- I love you. While he and Helen debated his cancer treatment, her only input was going with what Max wanted? When he woke up from his minor tooth surgery, his first thought wasn’t how the surgery chain went, it was what helen said specifically.
I love my doctor
Before Helen, Max had likely never felt true intimacy and vulnerability. He had likely never been able to be himself completely with a partner. We don’t know much about his relationship with his parents, but we can deduce that he’s not close to them.
Although the physical chemistry was palpable from their first scene, Max and Helen built a friendship based on trust and honesty since they let each other in very early. This relationship was built with the best intentions but every relationship comes to a point where emotion supersedes emotion and that’s where we ended up at 1x 16 where the clairvoyant tells Max that he’s going to lose someone close to hum. As soon as she assured him that it wasn’t his wife, he pulls Helen aside to reassure her and try to explain how he feels about her ending by saying “I love my doctor”.IN THE MIDDLE OF TREATING A PATIENT IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM WHILE MARRIED. At this point, both Max and Helen are at a crossroads of the undeniability of their connection, even though they are both too principled and respectful to call it anything other than “this thing between us”.
At the lake, when he goes to spread ashes for Luna, he says to her- or to the wind that he’s addressing as her- everything I do is because of you. I just keep trying to save you , over and over that’s all I do and I never, never will.
Now where did we end up hearing those EXACT words before?
In that moment, it’s Max admitting that he’s been consumed with emotions that are clouding his judgment and he has to let go.
When Helen uses those words in 2x16, the subtext is the same. By that time, she had saved his life and even Georgia’s life- multiple times. She even saved his life twice in one episode! She saved his life by taking on his cancer in the first place, she saved his life by choosing to pass him off to another doctor when he was using their relationship as an opportunity to not take his cancer seriously and she saved his life by making the decision for him to stop that treatment when it wasn’t working. She took on the role of deputy medical director- which let’s face it was more or less the medical director, she found him, not one but two trials, she gave up half her department that she loved more than anything. She gave up her romantic relationship- she meant it when she said everything I’ve done I’ve done for you- just like Max meant it when he said it to Luna. Max and Helen had have both poured themselves into people that couldn’t pour back, one because she was dead, and the other because he had too many warring emotions to deal with.
Helen could have let Max save her more- he definitely was willing to be that person and showed it many times, but we have to accept that she was in a very difficult position. Just as soon as she felt settled, started a new relationship, made a decision about freezing her eggs, she’s hit with a consuming, intimate relationship with someone that’s married. She had to leave some walls up.
Everything I Do Is For You
Their characters have gone through a lot- Helen has a dead parent and a dead fiancée, fertility issues and a fear of vulnerability and the feeling of running out of time- Max has a dead wife, who he had outgrown emotionally, raising a child alone, battling with grandparents that blame him for their daughter’s death and parents that by all indications don’t play a significant role in his life, plus a dead sister he has carried with him his whole life. Finding each other was in many ways, the catalyst each of them needed to move forward with life at so many points. For Max, he could have very well died without Helen- Georgia could have died in the bedroom without Helen- his grieving process would definitely have been longer and more complicated without Helen – it wasn’t insignificant that she was the one that pushed the ghost of Georgia out of the apartment, she was an anchor through it all.
For Helen, she was pushed to come back to the hospital and by having that anchor to a place and her patients, she was able to explore romantic relationships and face her fertility and wanting a child head on, she was able to explore how much of herself she could give to another person again after Mohammed died and try another relationship. In turn, she was able to be in a different position when Mina came to live with her.
By Max receiving the kind of selfless love he had never gotten before (from the parts of his story we’ve been told), he was finally able to heal, from so much of the stuff he’d been carrying to come to a place where he feels able to match Helen’s energy. To come to a point where he’s able to see himself as a WHOLE person, not just a flawed one- not just a guilty one- not just an overworked or crazy or erratic one. The speech at the end of 3x13 to Luna’s parents showed just how far he’s come; how much he’s changed and how much his relationship with Helen has changed him. The confidence that he was enough as- is a Max that we had never seen before.
And Helen- naming them- before now, it’s always been Max with his double meanings and his “I want to build something better for you and Mina” and “It helps not to be alone” and “I can’t do this without you”, but this time it’s Helen- Helen who is saying “us”- Helen who is putting them together as a family and is relaxed and comfortable doing so. Helen who isn’t simply giving him advice as a friend or listening to him but giving him advice as an anchor- we are here and we are fine and you need to fight for our family because it’s worth it.
I see you
The decon shower. His hand trailing down her neck. Those voicemails. Here they are finally, trying to get into an ADULT relationship. Moving beyond the cute hand holding and lingering looks, to hopefully many kisses, many distractions and many mornings waking up next to each other.
Sharpwin is coming and I’m ready!
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