#hopefully this makes navigating a lot easier for all of us

[kinnbig]

✨ Simple Gif Colouring for Beginners ✨

I wrote up my basic gif colouring process for a friend recently, but a couple of people here mentioned they'd also find it helpful! so, as requested, this is a beginner-friendly walkthrough of the way I colour my gifs :) it's aimed at brand new gif makers with no prior experience with photoshop or photo editing.

when I first started gif making I found colouring and photoshop in general suuuper daunting, so I've tried to simplify everything here as much as possible. hopefully this will be relatively easy to follow and not too intimidating!

a couple of things to begin with:

I'm only talking about colouring here - this is not a full gif making tutorial. I've linked to some of my favourites of those here!

I personally like to make bright, 'clean' looking gifs with vibrant but natural colours, so that is the style of colouring this tutorial is geared towards. most of gif colouring is subjective and about personal taste - the only thing that I'd say is possible to get wrong is skin tones, which I talk about a lot in this guide.

as I mostly gif Thai dramas, most of the advice is geared towards colouring for East Asian/South East Asian skin tones - but the techniques should be fairly universally applicable (and here are some tutorials that talk about gif colouring for other skin tones).

I'm not an expert! I'm not claiming this is the best or the only way to colour gifs - it's just how I do it.

this post is very image-heavy. if the images aren't loading (or the gifs are running slowly or cutting/looping weirdly), then try viewing the post in its own tab (rather than on the your dash or someone's blog) and refreshing the page.

okay, full walkthrough beneath the cut!

contents:

1. intro a. natural gif colouring goals b. very very basic colour theory 2. super simple colouring (the essentials) a. curves b. selective colour (and skin tone correction) c. hue/saturation d. saving and reusing colouring e. another simple colouring example 3. other adjustment layers a. brightness/contrast b. levels c. vibrance d. colour balance e. channel mixer 4. troubleshooting a. curves b. saturation 5. fin!

1. intro

the colouring part of gif making can be super overwhelming, especially if (like me when I first started!) you're completely new to photoshop and/or have no experience with colour theory or photo/video editing.

if you're opening photoshop and making gifs for the first time, I highly recommend getting used to making a few basic, uncoloured gifs to begin with. just to practice, rather than post anywhere (though you can always come back and colour them later if you want) - but it'll make the rest of the process much easier if you're already beginning to get used to working in timeline mode of photoshop. give yourself a bit of time to practice and get a feel for things like how many frames you tend to like in a gif, where you like to crop them for the best loop, what kind of aspect ratio you like etc* - so that you're not trying to navigate all of that for the first time on top of everything else!

* frames: for me between 60-90 frames is ideal, but 40-120 frames is the absolute min-max I'd personally use in a normal gifset loops: for the smoothest loops, try to avoid cutting someone off mid-movement or mid-word if possible. aspect ratio: for full-size (540px) gifs, I tend to go for either 8:5 (slightly 'skinnier' gifs), 7:5, or 5:4 (particularly big, thick gifs lmao)

✨ natural gif colouring goals

part of what can be so daunting about starting gif making is not knowing where to start or what you want to achieve. this is definitely something that gets easier with practice - the more gifs you make, the more you'll get a feel for what kind of look you like and the more instinctively you'll know how to get there. it also helps to see if any gif makers you like have made "before and after colouring" posts - these can help with getting a sense of the kinds of changes made through gif colouring. here's one I made!

in general, I like to make my gifs bright and 'clean' looking, with vibrant but natural colours. these are the things I'm usually hoping to achieve with colouring:

brighten dark scenes

remove muddy, yellowish lighting or filters

saturate colours

correct any skin lightening filters or overexposure

make lighting and colours as consistent as possible between gifs within a single gifset, especially gifsets featuring gifs from multiple scenes/episodes/videos

this guide is focusing on natural colouring, but of course there are many cool ways to make stylised/unnaturally coloured gifs. imo you'll need to master these basics first, but if you want to learn how to do things like change the background colour of gifs or use gradients or other cool effects, then @usergif's resource directory has loads of super helpful tutorials!

✨ very very basic colour theory

[disclaimer! I don't know shit about fuck. I do not study light or art. this is just an explanation that makes sense to me exclusively for the purposes of gif making.]

the primary colours for light/digital screens are red, blue, and green. having all three colours in equal measures neutralises them (represented by the white section in the middle of the diagram).

so to neutralise a colour within a gif, you need to add more of the colour(s) that are lacking.

in practice this usually means: the scene you want to gif is very yellow! yellow is made of red and green light, so to neutralise it you need to add more blue into your gif.

it can also mean the reverse: if you desaturate the yellow tones in a gif, it will look much more blue.

looking at the colour balance sliders on photoshop can make it easier to visualise:

so making a gif more red also means making it less cyan.

removing green from a gif means adding magenta.

taking yellow out of a gif will make it more blue.

tl;dr:

neutralise yellows by adding blue (and vice versa)

neutralise reds by adding cyan (and vice versa)

neutralise green by adding magenta (and vice versa)

2. super simple colouring (the essentials)

starting with a nice sharpened gif in photoshop in timeline mode. (these are the sharpening settings I use!)

some scenes are much harder to colour than others - it helps to start out practising with scenes that are bright/well-lit and that don't have harsh unnaturally coloured lights/filters on. scenes with a lot of brown/orange also tend to be harder.

I usually save a base copy of my gif before I start colouring just in case I end up hating it, or find out later that it doesn't quite fit right into a set and need to redo it etc.

so here is my base gif!

it's an okay gif, but it has a bit of a yellow tint to it that I want to reduce.

colouring is easiest to do in adjustment layers, which can be found under layer -> new adjustment layer - or for me they are here:

there are lots of different types of adjustment layers that do lots of different things - but for me the absolute essentials for colouring are curves, selective colour, and hue/saturation.

I also use brightness/contrast, levels, exposure, vibrance, colour balance, and channel mixer sometimes, depending on the gif - but I use curves, selective colour, and hue/saturation on every single gif.

✨ curves layer

the first thing I always do is a curves layer. when you first open one it will look like this:

first I usually click the ‘auto’ button, just to see what happens. sometimes it makes a big difference (it usually brightens the gif a lot) - but on this gif it didn’t do much.

if it had made the gif look nicer then I would have kept it and added a second curves layer on top to do the rest of these steps.

the next step is selecting the white and black points with the little eyedropper tools.

the bottom eyedropper lets you pick a white point for the gif. click somewhere super light on the gif to see what happens - for this gif, I clicked on the lampshade on the left. if it looks weird, I just undo it and try somewhere else - it usually takes a few goes to find something that looks good.

here's what that did to the gif:

then I pick the top eyedropper and use it to pick a black point by clicking somewhere really dark, again playing around until I find a black point that looks good.

here's what the gif looks like after picking the white and black points:

this can take some experimenting, but you can make super easy drastic changes to your gif just with this. in this case, the curves layer took out a lot of that yellowy tint.

and this is what the curves graph looks like now:

you can click and drag those lines to make further changes if you want - I usually leave them alone though. the colours of the lines indicate which colours have been changed in the gif - for example, you can see from that steep blue line on the graph that blue has been added to neutralise those yellows.

next I usually do another curves layer and just press the ‘auto’ button again to see what happens. usually it brightens the gif a bit more, which I like.

‼️if nothing is working: usually with a bit of fucking about a curves layer works well - but sometimes you can’t find a good white and black point anywhere, and instead your gif turns wacky colours and nothing looks good. this happens more often with very heavily colour tinted scenes :( the troubleshooting section at the end goes over some options, including starting with a levels layer instead.

✨ selective colour (and skin tone correction)

skin tones are made up of a mixture of yellow and red.

removing yellow (or adding blue or red) to a gif will make the skin-tones too red - and removing red (or adding cyan or yellow) to a gif will make the skin-tones too yellow.

adding blue to this gif with the curves layer took out the yellowy tint, which I wanted - but it also took the yellows out of Kim's skin tone, which I don’t want. so I need to put yellow back into the skin tones specifically - without putting it back into the rest of the gif.

selective colour layers let you select an individual colour and adjust the levels of other colours within that colour. you can change how yellow the green shades are, or how much cyan is in the blues, for example.

I need to add yellow back into the red tones to correct the skin tones on this gif. this is the case for most gifs in my experience - the vast majority of the time, unless a scene is very heavily tinted in another colour, a curves layer will add blue/remove yellow.

in the 'colors' dropdown, select the 'reds' section and drag the 'yellow' slider higher - this will add more yellow into just the red shades within the gif.

the amount of yellow you need to add back into the reds depends on how much yellow was taken out of the gif initially - I just play around with the slider until it looks right. if you're not sure, it helps to have some neutrally-coloured (not white-washed!) reference photos of the people in your gif to compare to.

here's the result. Kim's skin is a lot less pink toned and much more natural looking:

✨ hue/saturation

this adjustment layer lets you adjust the hue and saturation of the gif as a whole, and also of each colour individually.

I don't use the hue or lightness sliders unless I'm trying to do something more complicated with the colouring.

clicking the dropdown menu that says 'master' lets you edit the saturation of each colour individually. this is useful if your gif is still super tinted in one colour.

I thought the yellows on this gif were still slightly too bright, so I switched to the yellow channel and desaturated them slightly. (remember if you do this then you need to go back to selective colour and add more yellow into the red skin tones to balance out the desaturation!)

then I increased the 'master' saturation of all the colours to +5:

I usually find the right amount of saturation is somewhere between +5 and +12, but it depends on the gif.

‼️if the gif feels undersaturated, but the saturation slider isn't helping/is making the colours worse, try a vibrance layer instead.

done!

✨ saving and reusing colouring

you can copy and paste adjustment layers between gifs to make your colouring even across each of your gifs for one scene - so if you're making a set of multiple gifs of the same scene, or you think you might want to gif the same scene again in the future, you can save it as a psd so you can reuse the colouring again later.

each gif's colouring will then still need tweaking - different cameras/angles/shots of the same scene can still start out with slightly different colouring.

I recommend uploading the gifs as a draft post on tumblr so you can see what they all look like next to each other and catch any inconsistencies.

✨ another one! (speedrun!)

HI KEN!

the white point for the curves layer was in the window behind them.

the curves layer removes the muddy yellow tint, but again it makes their skin tones (especially Ken's) very red toned, which is adjusted by the selective colour layer.

3. other adjustment layers

imo many many gifs can be coloured really nicely with just those three adjustment layers, but some need different adjustments.

✨ brightness/contrast

pretty self explanatory!

I personally usually avoid using the 'brightness' slider because I rarely like the effect - I only tend to use the 'contrast' one. 

the 'auto' button is sometimes useful though, especially if you’re struggling with the curves layer.

✨ levels

levels alters the white and black points of the gif, like curves - but unlike curves it doesn't also alter other colours.

use the sliders beneath the graph to alter how dark/light the gif is. you can slide the black slider further to the right to make the blacks darker, and the white slider to the left to make the whites lighter.

levels is a good place to start if your curves layer isn't working.

(I'm going to hit the image limit for this post lol so here are some screenshots of a table I made to demonstrate this rather than actual gifs. sorry!)

on both sides, I dragged the sliders up to where the big jumps are on the graph - this is usually a good place to start!

✨ vibrance

vibrance... makes the colours more vibrant. it's more subtle than saturation.

it's really helpful for gifs that feel grey. sometimes adjusting saturation just makes the greys kind of weirdly tinted, but a vibrance layer can fix that.

vibrance is much more subtle!

✨ colour balance

colour balance affects the overall balance of colours within a gif.

it's good for scenes with heavy tints.

I tend to stick to the 'midtones' dropdown, but you can also alter the colour balance within the shadows and highlights if you want.

✨ channel mixer

I avoided channel mixer for such a long time because it scared me. but it's great for scenes that are very heavily tinted in one colour.

basically, it works with the levels of red, green, and blue within a gif. you select an output colour and then play around with the levels of the colour you selected within each other colour.

kind of the reverse of selective colour?

so in the 'blue' channel, the levels of blue are at 100%, and the levels of red and green are at 0% - but you can impact how much blue is in the reds and greens and blues.

this tutorial explains it well - but imo the best way to get to grips with channel mixer is just to play around with it a bit (sorry)

(when I made this guide for my friend, I also made a slightly more complicated gif colouring walk-through that included using channel mixer. there isn't space to include it within this post, but if anyone is interested I could always upload it as an 'intermediate' gif colouring tutorial - lmk!)

4. troubleshooting

‼️curves

usually with a bit of fucking about a curves layer works well - but sometimes you can’t find a good white and black point anywhere, and instead your gif turns wacky colours and nothing looks good. this happens more often with very heavily colour tinted scenes :(

for example, with this base gif:

using many of the brightest points as a white point turn it wacky colours, like this:

yikes :(

some options for these cases:

try brightening the gif first with the 'auto' button on the curves layer or with a levels layer. having a brighter gif to start with can give you better options for picking a white point.

try finding an alternate, whiter/brighter white point. look for places the light reflects - on this gif, using the light on Porsche's cheekbone works well as the white point. it also helps to find places that would be white if the scene wasn't tinted - the lightest part of a white shirt is often a good place to start, for example.

skip the curves layer, and instead use a levels layer to alter your white/black points, and colour balance or channel mixer to balance the colours.

‼️over/undersaturation

if your gif (especially the skintones) is looking a little washed out or lifeless, it might be undersaturated. boost that saturation - or if that's not working, try a vibrance layer.

oversaturation is often easiest to spot in the mouths and ears of any people in a gif. if the mouths are looking unnaturally, vibrantly red, then you've gone too far with the saturation.

5. fin!

and done! I hope this was coherent helpful to somebody.

if there's anything that I've missed or that doesn't make sense pls feel free to shoot me an ask or a message and I'll do my best to help! I've also collated a bunch of additional reading/resources below.

happy gifmaking 🥰

✨ some links!

photoshop basics by @selenapastel

gifmaking for beginners by @hayaosmiyazaki

gifmaking guide for beginners by @saw-x

dreamy's gif tutorial by @scoupsy-remade (includes instructions on how to blur out burned-on subtitles or annoying video graphics)

beginner's guide to channel mixer by @aubrey-plaza

how to fix orange-washed characters by aubrey-plaza

colour correcting and fixing dark scenes by @kylos

does resampling matter? by usergif

how to put multiple gifs on one canvas by @fictionalheroine

watermarking using actions by @wonwooridul

resource directory by @usergif

[bookmark-beast]

how to make gif stamps

you ever wanted to make your own stamps with gifs like this and have no idea how the fuck to do that?

it's really easy and all you need is a gif of your choice and the stamp base. all stamps are 99 x 56px as a tip for normal stamps.

during these steps i am pressing the buttons below every edited image so its easier to navigate.

step 1.

head over to the website ezgif.com. i use it for a lot of gif related things too and its really damn useful.

step 2.

head over to the resize tab and toss in your gif.

make sure the width is 93 pixels and the height is 49 pixels, dont worry about it being stretched since it resizes it down and some a little bit of cropping.

and if you want it to cover a specific area just go to the crop tab and make a selection around the area that's about the shape of the stamp, doesn't need to be perfect. and then head back to resize and do the resizing.

step 3.

head over to overlay in the effects

make sure to press the blue button under the gi that says "extend canvas size" its really important you do this so the actual stamp part doesn't get cut off. and add your overlay image aka the stamp base

and heres the base:

step 4:

adjust the overlay by putting 43 to the left and 22 to the top so it lines up like its shown here.

step 5.

and finally go to crop and scroll down and enable the checkbox that says "trim transparent pixels around the image" and hit crop image.

and there you go, you just made an animated stamp. and heres the finish product on the one i made.

hopefully this helps out in someway and that the steps were easy to understand, let me know if you have any issues or questions.

[gilmore-angel]

everything has changed | aaron hotchner x reader

swiftmas ♱ heyyy.... so this is super late😬. I am now on break so hopefully the future ones will be on time💋

summary ♱ working at a daycare has its perks, a big one being a certain single dad.

warnings ♱ awkward flirting, my lack of understanding how daycares are run, ooc aaron probably cause I haven't watched this show in forever

swiftmas ♱ navigation ♱ follow my library account @baysfics to see when I post!

loud. if you had to use one word to describe your job it would be loud. you of course loved your work, but being completely overwhelmed has become a normal thing.

the end of the day was always the hardest. trying to gather all of the kids items, putting shoes on, getting through checkout, and cleaning up afterwards.

one little boy in particular however made your job a bit easier. Jack Hotchner, an adorable three year old, was polite, well behaved, and sweet. his father, aaron hotchner, was serious but seemed nice.

all you new about him was he worked a lot, and rarely was the one to pick jack up. 90% of the time it was his aunt to come pick him up.

but today was different. when your coworker said jacks parent was here for pickup you help his little winter coat on and backpack and walked with him to the front desk for checkout.

there stood arron, dressed in his usual black suit. his jet black hair was shiny and put together like always. his blank almost cold expression shifted to a much happier one when he saw jack running towards him.

the little boy hugged his father's legs in greeting, receiving a hug in return. you smile as you walk up to aaron and pass him the drawing jack made in class today.

"jack wanted to make sure u gave this to you," aaron smiles softly and takes it, looking over the two little stick figures playing in the snow, representing them.

he glances back up at you, nodding once at you, "thank you. youre jacks main teacher, correct?"

his voice sounding so clear is surprising to you. the most you heard from him was a quiet goodmorning or bye. you would see him mutter words to jack, but they were only for jack to here. the fact he talked to you at all was completely out of the norm.

you feel your cheeks heat up, suddenly realizing now that you have to speak directly to him how handsome he really is.

you smile softly and nod, "yes, I am." you realize too late how awkward you sound.

he nods, reaching out his hand to shake yours, "jack talks about you a lot. you seem to be his favorite here."

your heart swells at that, knowing jack was your favorite too. your heart also skips a beat at the feeling of shaking his hand. his skin is rough, yet his touch is gentle.

"thats so sweet. he brings you up a ton too." your hand drops back to your side and you fiddle with your jeans, suddenly feeling very flustered, a butterfly party happening in your tummy.

he smiles, a bit brighter now. he picks up his son, who is growing more and more tired by the second. he glances away before meeting your eyes again. "I uh, I appreciate all you do for my son. I work a lot out of state so, knowing my son has a good place to go is uh, comforting."

your smile widens, and you chuckle softly, "it my pleasure. he's a great kid."

you both continue to hold eye contact, your breathing calming a bit. he has kind eyes. tired ones, yes, but kind. he finally breaks the little bit of silence by clearing his throat, glancing down.

"well uh, we should be heading out. thank you again." before you can speak again he walks out, son in his arms.

even after he has disappeared from your eye site, you continue to stand and tare at where he was. you almost feel giddy, like a teenager who just met their new crush. you snap out of your daze when you realize you still need to help with checkout. you quickly get back to it, but can't help but thinking that everything has changed.

[random-imagines-blog]

Dimmest Theatre {Captain Hook x Fairy!Reader One shot}

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 4068 Summary: Sometimes, you can't trust a pirate, especially one who seems to be turning over a new leaf. Divider by: @sweetmelodygraphics

The inside of the ship was dark, with only dim light from the very few lanterns swinging from the ceiling lighting your way. As a fairy, you had the ability to glow, to have your own lighting as you walked through, but that too had been dimmed. The hands on your arms tightened, dirty fingers affecting your skin, as you were taken towards the brig. The grip was binding, causing you enough discomfort that you couldn’t revert to your normal smaller-sized body, and fly away, trying to get somewhere safe. Try to get away from here.

You were then thrown into the dirty, cold room in the bottom of the ship. It was also where the ships’ stores were, the meats and gruel that was served as every meal, kept down here to stay cool. Only the cook came down here every once in a while, so you would be completely isolated down here, with no one to talk to. No one to help set you free.

“Now, now,” Smee, Captain Hook’s right hand man said. “You did the crime, and you have to do the time!”

He held up one of the few clocks that Captain Hook had not destroyed. Any sound of ticking made the curly-haired pirate go into a rage, and he would shove his hook into any pocket watch, no matter how expensive or ornate. The time on the clock itself was wrong, but you weren’t going to tell Smee that. He treasured his hidden stash of clocks, a secret that few knew about. You moved towards the bars, your hands going around them, pleading quietly with Smee to let you out. But he shook his head and his finger at you before leaving, taking the light with him.

You sat down on the bench, feeling dejected. You couldn’t bring up enough shine to light up the place. There were no windows, so it was darker than night down here. You could barely make out your own hand in front of your face. There was nothing here, except for time, waiting for Hook to either come down and set you free, or decide that all of your work, all of the hours together, were worth absolutely nothing. This gave you a lot of time to reflect on just how you had gotten into this conversation.

As a fairy, you believed in balance. There had to be winter, in order for there to be summer. There had to be rain in order for there to be the beauty of flowers. There had to be darkness in order for there to be light.And also, because of that, there also had to be good in the evil. And it was this way of thinking that led you to be around Cap’n Hook for so long.

Your good-nature and your patience had been what made you the perfect one to try to convince Hook that fairies weren’t as bad as he thought that they were. He thought that they all worked for Pan. And though some did, it was not all. You didn’t work for anyone except for the council of the fairies. And to prove it, you were willing to help him out, and make him believe again, like he had when he had been a boy, so many years ago. An innocent boy. A good boy. Before life made him bitter, made him grow up, made him think of adult things. Made him jealous of those that didn’t have to think about those sorts of things. Those like Peter Pan.

It had taken you some time to win over Captain Hook. And it took time for you to get used to being in the larger body, the more human-sized body, rather than your usual petite frame. It was easier for him to take you seriously like this - though you hadn’t realized it was because it was easier for him to forget that you were a fairy. Your wings rolled up into your shirt, folding like leaves could, so apart from being a female, you looked like just about everyone on the boat. You swept the poop deck, you helped prepare meals, you helped with navigation, all in the hopes that Captain Hook would see you. See that you could be useful. And hopefully ... bring out the good that was in him with the good that was inside of you.

After some time, he began to listen. You would join him in the Captain’s Quarters - where no man save for Smee was allowed to go - and would tell him stories to help him to sleep. He suffered from nightmares about the crocodile. He’d try to hold his own hand and would whimper when he would find nothing there. You tried to restore balance for him in his mind - good dreams to balance out the nightmares. And eventually, he began to smile in his sleep.

You didn’t know that these good dreams were about killing Pan. About shoving his hook inside of his chest and pulling out his still beating heart. About shooting him with a cannonball bigger than his own head and knocking him out of the sky. All that you knew was that he was smiling. All that you knew was that these were considered good dreams.

He started to grow dependent on you, not that the stubborn Captain James Hook would ever admit to that. He sought you out when he got anxious, usually by the sound of one of Smee’s hidden clocks. Even seeing an oddly shaped log in the water would make him think of the crocodile and he would start to panic. He ordered you to be ever by his side and so you had become like his shadow, only even more attached than that was. Pesky shadows, they came off so easily.

And even that seemed to develop into something more. He started to show you another side of him, one that you had believed in despite never seeing it before.

He started to notice things, like that fairies didn’t eat meat, and so he would take your portion of whatever they had managed to scourge up for that night’s dinner, and would give over his own side of vegetables. Rabbit food, he called it. He acted as if it was something he was doing for himself and not for you, but you could see the slight smile that he had when you thanked him. He’d also make sure that there was fresh water for you, while the rest of the crew drank their ale.

To see someone start to transform from this angry, sour, bitter man into someone that was actually enjoyable to be around, it was a beautiful thing. And despite your nature, you started to fall in love with him. And the thing about fairies is, even when they are in their larger forms, they really are too small to contain more than one emotion, so love was all that you felt for Captain Hook, not wariness, not caution, just love.

You seemed to glow more around him, and it was becoming obvious to everyone, not just him. The fairy power seemed to explode out of you whenever you were feeling happy, the dust wafting off of you as easily as breath from out of your mouth. It could have been dangerous, if they had a lot of good thoughts, but the pirates hardly did.

The night that you first kissed Hook, you flew. You couldn’t help yourself, it felt as if there was an air bubble expanding, expanding, expanding inside of your chest, making you float when your lips touched. Your dust got sprinkled onto Captain Hook and he went about a half foot in the air himself, not realizing it until he touched ground once more. His own happy thoughts about you, about what had happened, had made him fly and you were feeling .... ecstatic and lovestruck.

But everything changed the morning that Peter Pan came back. Everything.

The thaw had come on fast, the ice melting at exceedingly high rates, which meant that spring was coming faster, and Peter Pan was back in Neverland. Where he had been, you didn’t know, and it wasn’t any of your business to know. Things had been, admittedly, more peaceful without him around. But now that Hook knew that he was back, he seemed to turn back into the bitter, angry man that you had met months ago.

You were next to him, pleading for him not to load up Long Tom, the affectionate name given to the cannon. Your whole countenance showed your worry, your glow had disappeared. You were tugging on his arm, trying to tell him to give up on this useless hunt. Peter Pan was just a boy, and so he would always do boyish things. But this had become far too personal for James to let go.

He watched with glee as a cannonball went up towards the sky, breaking through a cloud. Your fingers were in your ears as the blast was too loud for you, looking up with concern. It looked as if there were boys hanging off of the cloud. Lost boys, you figured. Innocent ones, caught up in this mess. “James, they’re just children, they don’t know any better!" You said, holding onto the arm of his rich black sleeve.

And then things went from bad to worse. Peter Pan started to have fun.

He was flying around the ship, and the cannon was swinging every which way to try to get at him. Long Tom shot down one of your own masts, causing a roar through the ship.

You hit the deck, putting your hands over your head to try to avoid getting injured. Chaos was erupting on deck, the laughter of the flying boy providing a soundtrack.

A dead man fell onto the ground, Hook having gutted him for telling him that Peter Pan had flown away. You slowly got back onto your feet and went to Hook again, trying to get his attention. “Search the jungle! Bring me those children!” He was barking.

“James,” You said, tugging on his sleeve again. He just threw you off for now, and you slowly stepped backwards. His mood was not going to change anytime soon. All that you could do was try to repair the mast and hope that by some miracle, he would return feeling happier, without having some poor innocent children in tow.

Unfortunately, that was not to be the case. He had come back with three children, including Princess Tiger Lily. You tried, in vain, to convince him to let them go but of course he would not. They would be a lure for Peter Pan. And they would all be killed together. That’s exactly what his plan was, and as he boasted about it to you, his voice still filled with vile anger that filled him like smoke in his lungs, your heart was breaking. You were diminishing even further, seeing that any effect that you had on this man was only temporary. That he was still the evil-spirited man that was determined to kill children. Even if they couldn’t ever grow up, that’s what they still were. You retreated from him, going back down to the kitchens to sit by the fire and think about what you had done wrong. And how you were going to return to your hollow with the bad news that you had failed.

When the crew came to find you, it was not to apologize. It was not to bring you to Hook for him to apologize in public either. Nor was it to thank you for fixing the ship with your bit of magic and helping them all out. No. It was to grab you roughly by the hands and to bring you down to the brig, where you were sitting now, by yourself. They were accusing you of letting the boys go. Someone had come along and had cut through their bindings, as evidenced by the frayed ropes that were found. As the only person on the boat who had suggested that the Captain let them go, let all of this go, you were the initial suspect. Hook couldn’t even do it himself. According to Smee, he couldn’t even look at you.

It was the truth. When Captain James Hook came down into the brig, carrying a lantern, he didn’t look at you, just told you the list of charges, which was helping two boys escape, helping Peter Pan apparently escape, and letting Princess Tiger Lily escape.

“I didn’t,” You told him. “I swear! I just helped with the mast, I didn’t let anyone free!”

His hook tapped against the metal bars that you were behind. It let out a sharp noise, one that made you wince. He reached through and was able to grab your clothing with the hook, pulling you in closer to him. He still did not look at you, his eyes somewhere behind you. Looking into the darkness.

“I don’t believe in fairies.”

Though he said this quietly, it was said with so much menace. You could taste it, like a poison in your mouth. Like a pain in your stomach. He walked away, leaving you in the dark once more, and you fell upon your knees, clutching your abdomen, as the pain started to take over. You could feel your happiness, your light, your life starting to leave you as you crumpled up on the floor. But even more importantly, you could feel your heart leaving you too.

You didn’t feel much of anything anymore. Nothing except for the pain of his words. He knew what saying them meant. Every time those words were mentioned, a fairy would die. You weren’t even sure how you were alive right then and there, considering that, but maybe - maybe he was lying? He had to believe in fairies, he had once believed in you. Yes - he had once believed in you very much.

The pain had just become so common now, it was unending, you couldn’t remember anything but. Moving was useless, your body lethargic, unable to move even one finger let alone your entire body to try to get out of the room, or try to call for help.

The worst part seemed to be the moments of clarity, because all that you could think about was the crime that you had been accused of. You did not let those boys, and that princess, go. You know that you didn’t, but your mind kept going over it again and again - did you somehow do something inadvertently that made you deserve this?

The days went on, as days typically did, for time didn’t stop for anyone. You could feel the changes - the day and the night, going around and around, despite not seeing the sun or the stars. You were near death, ready to greet it.

But then the door above opened. The sound of two feet descending down the rickety stairs. And finally, a dull orange glow from a lantern that was running low on oil. The first time that someone has visited you in days, perhaps even a week.

Your name was spoken, in that rich, thick accent that used to make your back shiver with delight. Now it was more of a shudder of fear, and revulsion. Because even if you had let the boys and Tiger Lily go, you knew in your heart that there was no balance here. You did not deserve the words that James Hook had said to you. You did not deserve his disbelief.

You didn’t move, not that you would have if you could have, as the lantern grew closer. It highlighted the Captain’s long, dark curls, which looked frizzier and messier than usual. His face was still tinged red from anger of some sort. Things have not been going well for him, obviously, but you were not cruel enough to find joy in that.

He said your name again, as if he were expecting you to do something, to say something, but he had taken everything from you, you had nothing left to give - not a movement, not a response, nothing at all. It took all of your effort, all of your energy, to breathe. And there have been times in the last couple of days when you thought about not doing that anymore. James Hook swore under his breath, something that would have gotten him a stern talking to by you, had you been more yourself. And then, hesitantly, as if it would fix everything, he muttered under his breath - “I do believe in fairies.”

There was a tentative pause after that as he looked down at you. When nothing seemed to happen, he got the keys out of the pocket of his velvet coat and unlocked the cell door, stepping inside. The lantern bobbed over your colourless frame, your eyes blinking against it, the sudden appearance of light so close causing you to have an instant migraine to go with the rest of the pain.

His boot lightly kicked at your leg, moving it over slightly. And then once more. “I do believe in fairies,” He repeated, but made it sound as if it were a chore to do so. You closed your eyes tight, anticipating that something would happen, some sort of magic to flow through your veins and bring you back to full life again - but it was to no avail. Nothing happened. You remained in this state of limbo, feeling dead and alive at the same time, but finding a home in neither. He called your name out again, and put his hand on your shoulder, pushing you onto your back. “Oh, stop being so dramatic,” His voice rang out, dully. “I have come with good news. I know you didn’t free those boys.”

You were able to turn your head just a little bit towards him. He was bending down to look at you, his curls nearly tickling your face. They hung just over you, close enough to touch if you could only raise your hand a little bit.

“I said I know it wasn’t you,” He repeated. “So get up. Quit this nonsense. I need your up top.”

You blinked at him, sleepily. He growled, actually growled, grabbing hold of your arm and picked you up, bringing you onto your feet before you were ready, so you ended up slumping against him. His arm went around your waist, in a way that used to be possessive, loving, wanting to show you off, but not anymore. This time it was rough, his hook digging against your skin, not quite penetrating it but close. He was grumbling to himself as he brought you up onto the desk, for the entire crew to look at you. “As we rehearsed!” He called out.

The crew that typically wore hats upon their heads took them off, and held them to their chests. You’ve never seen this before, so it made you curious. Made you fight against the lethargy to watch to see what was coming next.

“We do believe in fairies,” The crew started to say. They attempted to do so in unison, but they missed the mark, some coming in later than others, some earlier. Hook, with his good hand, hit at the pirate beside him, trying to get him in on the right timing. He had a musical talent, and was trying to get them to sing it. It would have been a cute gesture, perhaps. If he hadn’t been the one to almost kill you in the first place. He was waving his finger around like a conductor’s baton.

“We do believe in fairies! We do believe in fairies! We do believe in fairies!”

Tenors, baritones and bass, along with some that weren’t on the usual musical spectrum, rang out. And as all of their attention was on you, you could feel the strength of their words. Like they meant it. And you began to feel yourself starting to grow lighter than air. Your colour was coming back. Your glow. You could feel your wings spreading behind you, and your cheeks starting to turn the flush colour of life that they usually had. You started to float, to hover as life was restored back into you by these men, this crew, and by your Captain. By your lover.

The chants, the song, died down as the men watched you basically come back from the dead. Smee smiled widely and clapped his hands, and even Captain Hook had the slight look of someone who just did a very good job. Taking credit, of course.

You turned towards the Captain, a questioning look on your face. Now that you were set free, you wanted to know who had been the one to do the crime that you had been punished for. Captain Hook’s smile did fade slightly, as he told you the answer. “That little fairy of Pan’s,” He said. “Snuck onto our very ship! I plucked out the eyes of the pirates on guard who let this happen, and I would do it again in an instant!”

You crossed your arms in front of you, rolled your eyes. That should have been obvious from the start! You could have figured that out within two seconds! Peter Pan always had that little fairy beside her, and you knew Tinkerbelle - she was a mischievous one. She was exactly the type and as you stared over at the Captain, you were basically telling him, without words, that he should have known this as well. He looked a little uncomfortable, shuffling slightly, using a thumb to get some blood or rust off of his hook.

No apologies. No sort of, I’m sorry. I should have known better. It made you feel foolish because now you were the one who should have known better. James made no mistakes in his mind, and he felt justified in locking you up, as if you were nothing but a common member of the crew, not someone that he genuinely cherished.

You  didn’t know if you were going to survive this, but you had. And now you had a choice to make - one that you had been thinking about while laying there, accused of a crime that you didn’t commit, feeling your essence being taken from you. You knew exactly what you were going to do.

You shrunk down. No longer did you stretch out your body to try to fit in with the rest of the crew, or to make yourself more ‘helpful’. No longer would you try to be what he wanted you to be - his true colours had been revealed, and they were not the pretty kind. They were puke yellow and blood red and dirty grey. You, once again, became a small beacon of light, who had been away from home for far too long.

“Stop!” Hook commanded as you started to rise into the air, ready to make your escape. And despite your resolution, you faltered. Because a part of you had loved this man, before he attempted to kill you. A part of you did long for the nights of laying in bed together, discussing this and that, gossiping about the crew. You paused, hovering in the air. Hook approached, his footsteps loud on the wooden deck. “If I were to say something apologetic,” He asked in a low tone, “Would it change your mind?”

You brightened up a little more - if only because an apology would have been nice. But no, it wouldn’t change anything. You continued to hover close to him, putting your hand behind your ear, miming that you were listening. The Pirate Captain adjusted himself a little, pulling his coat down slightly.

“Then you should never have trusted a dastardly pirate,” He said, spinning the tip of his moustache between his fingers. Your usually bright and cheerful glow turned red with anger, as you flew up to him, kicked the tip of his nose, knocked off of his hat, and went flying back to Pixie Hollow. He might have brought you back to life with his belief, and his choir of pirate crew, but you didn’t owe him anything. Not your life, not your love, not your loyalty.

Perhaps you’d send over the Tick-Tock Croc to pay him a visit.

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence Devlog 6:💙Cabin route progression + Fail-safe balance!💙

Hi and welcome new followers, it's been another 2 weeks since part 1 so here's part 2 of how things are going in this month of May! :]

So leaving off from part 1, I found a way to organize and keep up with everything I create for this game moving forward and I've been happily pacing myself.

Before I could continue with anything else, I had to bring a certain path/route up to date with the rest of the game. In good news, I manage to finish this pretty quickly!

A lot of dialog and choices from the player(Y/N) and Noah in this route is abouuuuttttt 90% different compared to what's in the [Extended Demo]. I won't go too in depth about it but I'm happy with this change and balancing out all the inconsistent variables going on.

Route progression with play testers:

One thing I want to talk about is the route progression of the game. I was going to talk about this in depth with a Master-post however, it's still in the works and I ultimately decided that once I finally have all of Day 3 sorted out I'll hopefully have it ready.

After having a very long discussion with my play tester's and their advice, I've decided that there will be only 3 routes in the game. There was a time where I had created multiple routes/paths, I don't remember the specific number anymore since I have to go and find every single one I wrote in the script but ever since I've gotten better at learning new concepts I came to terms with a few things. Trying to progress all of them past Day 3 would be a very big challenge and drag the development process out even further, a lot of the writing in them is extremely outdated, and I personally believe keeping all of this would lead to burn out.

Does this mean a bunch of content will be scrapped?:

Not really, I do want to give life to most of what I wrote and I actually had plans behind the scenes of turning these into Day's instead of routes/paths. There were some I wrote that gave off Day 4/5+ vibes when I was trying to pick routes that were strong enough to be in the [Extended Demo].

Will any of this be added for the next [Extended Demo] update?:

It's too early for me to really give an answer. There's so much of Day 3 that needs to be fixed up before I can say much else.

Fail safe + Variable callback balance!:

It's time to talk about them! :D

In the [Extended Demo] I used a lot of these as callbacks for the player(Y/N)'s choices, closeness with Noah, etc in order to make sure these had an affect on the overall story building. I'm getting better at keeping up with these and I'm making them easier to go through. Due to spoilers I can't say much else although, I can talk about one other thing I added into the game which is a [fail safe!]

A [fail safe]? What's that and WHY!?:

Basically if the player(Y/N) doesn't meet the set requirements for certain parts of the game, a specific outcome will happen. There were some [Extended demo] bad endings inside the cabin that I was going to scrap but I stumbled upon a great alternative! This sort-of [fail safe] style will only be used for very specific situations I have no way of writing around without dragging the story out and/or adding 'filler'. This also helps me in the long run so I don't have to keep up with too many unique variables, It feels nice having this structured and simple enough to check back on. >:] I'm still brainstorming it out to make sure it doesn't have too many situations routing to it but there's 2 variables where this [fail safe] WILL happen regardless and another 2 that can only happen if the player(Y/N) makes certain choices that can possibly trigger the [fail safe]. I then grouped them into separate areas because originally, the player(Y/N) could make several choices but I decided to make this a little more linear as a quality of life change so it's easier to navigate out of if the player(Y/N) restarts the playthrough.

I don't have plans on changing this in the future. A lot of the code had to be updated to get it to work which surprisingly took a lot of time for me to adjust to.

This is mainly because the [Talk to Noah], [Look around.], [Go to sleep.] and [Continue to wait.] choices weren't complete. I don't mind this since the choices, CG's, SFX, dialog, etc. in these endings were all outdated anyway. I even took it a step further and removed some responses so it's more straightforward. :P

CG updates and optimization!:

Before:

After:

This won't be too long but in very exciting news I found a really awesome way to save on space/optimization towards the game!

Basically, when I was new to everything regarding the game, I really wanted to have a Day/Night setting with detailed backgrounds depicting the different times of the day for a beautiful immersive experience.

Here are some very old and outdated examples of this.:

I had a lot of fun messing around with the different hue's, saturations, etc however, this made the file size of the game itself too large and I was barely able to upload the [Extended demo] as it exceeded 1GB and it's not even complete which heavily worries me. :,,,,[

I am still new and learning as I go but I managed to discover a way to adjust the lighting, etc within the game! This will take a bit of time since I'll have to add/remove CG's but I mighttt put a pin in this as something to look into in the future or adjust them as I go.

Also, I made two new hyper links that will be on my pinned [Extended Demo] post!:

Noah's spotify playlist's:[Listen to it here!]

For video meme's regarding Noah will be in #Noah: meme videos

I'm still working on stuff behind the scenes which includes some stuff regarding Noah's birthday month, it's just a little scattered right now! :,D

If you like what I create, please consider supporting what I do on kofi! All donations and tips help tremendously while I continue to work on the game. Thank you to those that optionally bought the [Extended Demo] on itch.io. :,]

Q&A / Ask box is open:

To know and understand Noah through Asks and random posts about lore, they'll be under #Get to know: Noah ! :]

**Some asks won't be answered if it contains spoilers but I do appreciate what I receive.

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask [here] or on itch.io please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I enjoy hearing from you guys!

Thank you guys for the continued support and influx of downloads for the [Extended Demo] recently! I really appreciate it! :,]

[campbyler]

my friend and i are going to write a long fanfic together, neither of us really have any experience with anything more then a one shot, any advice?

hellooooo that’s so exciting we are wishing you and your friend the best of luck!! i would sayyyyy the number one thing that helped us streamline the process of writing a long fic together was probably outlining like fiends!! it’s not the first time we have mentioned this, but we have always had a very thorough outline even though we had to make multiple versions of it over time to make it easier to read and use once it started getting cluttered and busy. i’d recommend breaking down each of your chapters into the main goals you’d like to accomplish in each one — for example, for ch04 it was the tension of isolation culminating in a kiss and for ch05 it was them navigating and full sending their casual thing for the summer and ch06 was the entirety of camp games and ch07 was wilderness week (will’s worst enemy) and will learning to enjoy it with mike there and so on and so forth. definitely recommend breaking each chapter down further into scenes for each one and what you’d like to happen in each scene. for acswy, we also like to balance some more fun and low-stakes filler scenes (think scenes with a lot of the party present or a shamelessly fun kiss scene or interactions with co-counselors/campers/etc) vs ones where it is very clearly about mike and will having a moment and moving their relationship and story forward. so having an outline that both of us can access and update in real time has definitely been super helpful for organizing not only writing, but the overarching story of the acswy universe as a whole :-)

i think my other biggest piece of advice (coming from someone who also mostly writes oneshots. granted very long oneshots at times but still oneshots) is to be mindful of pacing! i don’t write a lot of chaptered stories, so when i do, i find myself really impatient at times to get to the juicy parts of the story or wanting to skip ahead. i think for a longer fic especially, a solid exposition and thorough foundation for your universe is super important for worldbuilding and making things stay clear and well-defined down the line, so i’d say definitely spend the time and energy to flesh that out for sure!

hope this helped! i know both pieces of advice were kind of vague but they are probably the biggest things we have kept in mind while writing, so hopefully you and your friend get some use out of them. we are also happy to help if you guys need advice on more specific parts of writing or planning once you get there! i will say it also helps to be insane about the universe you created and to be thinking about it all the time and therefore be worldbuilding and adding lore off screen constantly. good luck!! 🫡

[tabletopgayventures]

What I look for in a tabletop role-playing game

Just my thoughts on what makes a game interesting.  Not necessarily good or bad, just what I would like to see in a game.  

First off, I want my games to be all in one book.  All you need to get started playing is just a single rulebook.  I prefer physical books but I’ll take both physical and digital.  I want the book to include a brief intro about the game, have the next section go over the game rules, then go over the setting, and the final part of the book will go over character creation.  Referee options, like challenges or bestiaries, can either be with the game rules or in a section after character creation.  I have yet to find a book that puts things in this order, but hopefully with my large collection of books I’ll finally find the order.  

The reason I want the book organized like this is that you need to understand the game mechanics in order to know how you want to build your character.  You also need to know the game setting to come up with a story for your character.  Finally, in most systems, character building takes up the majority of the book.  Especially in more complicated games with lots of character options.  Having the book organized this way will also increase the likelihood of players actually READING THE DAMN RULES.

Last thing about the game book.  Hardcover, paperback, pdf I don’t care.  But make your books easy to read and navigate!  Have a key on the fore-edge of the book in different colors so if you know the colors you can jump to that section.  Also an index!  Have an index please so you can find which pages talk about your special game mechanics.  Use colors and font size to define both hierarchy and sections in your layout, please don’t just have a white page with black text.  Finally, please use sans-serif fonts!  They’re so much easier to read than Times New Roman or Baskerville.

I also like looking for safety tools in my game books.  People who regularly play ttrpgs tend to know about lines, veils, surveys, and x-cards.  But not everyone does!  If a new player picks up your game and you don’t have a safety section you as a designer are depriving them of an important resource.  Also sometimes game designers think up new ones or have an interesting take so I like to learn.  

I don’t care how complex or simple the game system is, I just want it to be interesting and work.  I started with 3.5 and Pathfinder 1st edition so I do have a preference for more complicated games with lots of character options but only if they’re interesting or established.  I also like my systems to be loose enough that you can easily homebrew additional mechanics, change mechanics, or make new in game material.  I like to homebrew, it’s fun.  

[danieyells]

Hi danie!! ive been super hyperfixated on tkdb and ive been curious about the in game models, ive seen people access them through live td and would liked to do the same. i found your post explaining the process after having the files but i couldn't find one that would explain how to access those files and get them from the phone to the pc!

Hi! Welcome to the hyperfixation!! :'D I thought I explained it briefly in a post but. It's fine I'm planning on making another post with the full step by step process in the future, and making sure it's in my pinned for easier access 👍🏾 but in the meantime I can try and explain!

If you have an iphone you're out of luck unfortunately. Apple doesn't let you access your files to my understanding, even wired in.

If you have an android or you use bluestacks to play the game on your pc(and I'm sure it's accessible if you play tokyo debunker through the pc google play thing but I haven't explored that myself yet) all you need is a wire that connects your phone to your device! You probably already have one of these if you have a USB cable that connects to your phone for charging, but some cables are charge only so do be aware of that.

As a reminder you'll basically only have access to the ones you've seen in game. Sometimes they get cleared too, so you may be missing some you haven't seen in a while. They do also sometimes update sprites, especially to add expressions or features or to fix things. However they may not delete the original folders that contain the old stuff when they redownload them, and AssetStudioGui doesn't try and read them in order of last updated. So you may have to manually go through and figure out which is the newest and which was updated and so on. . .which is much easier from on your phone and i recommend File Manager Plus if you plan on doing this a lot and it's available to you! You could also just delete the contents of the folder and manually redownload everything as you go tbh lol

All you have to do is plug your phone into your PC and navigate to the game files. That should be something like This PC\[PHONE NAME]\Internal storage\Android\data\com.zigzagame.tokyodebunker\UnityCache\Shared . If you have it on an SD card first of all tell me how because that'd make transferring so much easier for me-- and you can't/don't want to remove the SD card to insert into the device, the file path will be a bit different for the first few folders.

The filenames are encrypted so you won't know which is which. You're just gonna have to move all of them unfortunately. This will take A While depending on how much is in there. Once you've done that though you can kind of work around that in the future by only moving any newly updated or added folders, but that requires another app that lets you navigate to the files from your phone(see: previous rec of File Manager Plus) and sorting them by date and. It's a whole thing that can take a long time.

Hopefully that helps! Lmk if you need any further explanation 👍🏾

[mugunghwc]

"Actually I wanted to invite you to a fancy dinner at a restaurant," Futaba admitted, while welcoming him to her place, which was still rather cramped, considering the many boxes, as if they still had not fully managed to finish the move from their last place. "But I wanted to cook for you, which hopefully makes up for the lil' bit mess," she chuckled awkwardly. Honestly the bigger issue was the lack of space, so keeping some things in the boxes still was simply easier to store. Meanwhile Apollo had welcomed Han even more heartly, considering he had jumped him at first, before following him around till he was seated at the dinner table, where Apollo would sit right below the table with his head on Han's thigh, demanding some of the attention and food. The table was neatly decorated and just offered enough space for two, the candle was already lit and the food soon served, as she had tried her best to be done with it right before he comes. Hamburger and fries, with some extra salad. "I made it double," she smiled, as there were two slices of meat and to keep everything in place, it was pierced with a long wood stick, clearly meant to be cut and not be eaten with hands. "I also considered pancakes, but maybe another time," she offered, while appearing a bit red, before recalling that she still had to fill the glasses with red wine. More nervous than she thought after all, but more due to her own circumstances. "I really wanted to thank you again, I still cannot believe it , but please know, you helped us a lot with it."

When she first invited him to dinner, Han assumed it would be a simple outing—meeting at a restaurant to share a meal as a gesture of gratitude towards him. It wasn’t until he left his apartment and checked the address she had texted him that he realized it was in a residential area. “Oh, well,” he thought, realizing too late that he was overdressed for the occasion.

His eyes scanned the surroundings, noting the modest appearance of the apartment complex, a stark contrast to the luxury he was accustomed to. The units were smaller, and he could see signs of family life—children's clothes and bicycles scattered outside. It was a scene that felt strangely familiar, reminding him of a past he had long since left behind. Although, even this appeared glamorous by comparison.

Despite his current status, there was still a part of him that felt like an impostor, living a life that didn't quite fit. Could he ever settle for this? Han pondered to himself before finally ringing the bell, meeting Futaba with an awkward smile. "Too much?" He asked, in reference to his suit.

Han left his blazer and shoes by the door as he stepped inside, his eyes casually scanning the apartment. There was so much to take in, yet so little at the same time—most of her belongings were packed away in boxes, giving the place a transient feel. He didn't comment on it, sensing that this was something she would address if she wanted to. Instead, he simply navigated through the space, taking in the details without prying.

Only Futaba would think of serving wine along with a burger, smiling at the sight. "I'm touched," He confessed before giving his plate a good look. Despite it being a meal that he wouldn't particularly pick for himself, even Han could not deny it appeared appetizing. "No need to mention it." Han waved a hand, dismissing any concerns that she may have. "I didn't want you to stress over money. I've known what that's like." His confession wasn't planned, but the words rolled off his tongue so effortlessly, making it sound rather casual. "Apart from that, it must not be comfortable to owe money to someone your friend is now married to. Even if not directly him."

[scarlett-ink]

Secret Santa for @rambunctioustoons :

Thinking With Snowballs

Summary: You and Sun continue your journey up and out of the FazCo Science facility. Maybe you both can manage to have some fun on the way. word count: 2.8k Some Assembly Required au belongs to @rambunctioustoons I highly recommend checking it and their other stuff out!

Hope you enjoy it! I simply adore the portal series and your au so I couldn't pass up an opportunity to do something portal related! I had such a fun time writing it & putting song references into it hehe💙🧡 Happy holidays and I hope you like it!

The halls of FazCo Science had always been cold, both in a figurative sense and sometimes a literal one, but today they felt especially so.

With the state the facility was in, it wasn’t too surprising that some areas had lost any and all forms of temperature regulation. Whether the cold was just from how deep a level this floor was, or if it was from the winter season was impossible to tell. All the way down here there was no way to know how much time had passed or what time of year it even was right now. You’d think you’d be used to the lack of time awareness by now, but you still hadn’t fully settled into it yet.

You hadn’t really had time to even think about that, having spent all your time since waking up trying to find any form of life other than yourself on top of finding a working exit. Only one of those endeavors had bore any fruit, with you coming across The Attendant a good while ago at this point. But in terms of specifically human life, you had no luck. So, for the foreseeable future it was just you, Sun, and Moon, depending on which was out at any given time.

With a shared goal of getting out of this place, you and the two of them had been doing your best to make your way upwards to the ground level of the facility, where an exit would be waiting for you…hopefully.

It was easier said than done.

Even with a portal gun, maneuvering around the crumbling remains of the facility made things difficult. Having to navigate around perilous drops, ceilings that appeared ready to crush you and collapse at any moment, and avoiding the gunfire of turrets made this endeavor quite the challenge.

Still, you tried to keep a positive outlook. The three of you would get out of here, you simply had to.

Sun and Moon were definitely helpful in getting around. Other than just having an extra pair of hands and an extra pair of minds for ideas, both also had knowledge you simply did not. Sun knew a lot about the different test chambers while Moon knew about the chambers behind the test chambers themselves, which had really helped in trying to navigate. Not that you didn’t have your own knowledge that helped out, you did know the codes for many of the restricted access areas after all.

The point was you had a common goal and had agreed to work together to achieve it. You had better chances with help than you did on your own, and some company was nice regardless.

You fought back a shiver as the frigidness of this chamber reminded you of its presence. As you rubbed your arms to try to generate some heat you told yourself that the cold could potentially be a good sign. Maybe, if it was winter time, the cold meant you were closer to the surface than you thought. You knew that was incredibly wishful thinking, it wasn’t exactly a big leap in logic to take the cold to mean you were far deeper in the facility than you would’ve liked, buried under miles of cold hard dirt and concrete walls.

The depressing thought was momentarily forgotten as you wondered if your companion was bothered by the cold at all. You doubted the temperature would affect them much as long as it wasn’t subzero temperatures cold enough to literally freeze any of their inner workings, so they were probably fine. You were a bit jealous of that at the moment, and of the testing work suit they had on, the top half and long sleeves tied around their waste. You’d kill for longer sleeves right now.

Your mind came to a halt when you felt a soft sort of crunch beneath your shoes. You looked down in surprise, unprepared for the sight beneath your foot. The sound had been a bit too soft to have been something more concerning like broken glass or anything really sharp enough to cause a problem.

“What is it?” Sun asked, slightly behind you.

The stark white of the walls and floors had camouflaged what you stepped in very well.

“Is that…snow?” Your brain nearly imploded at the realization, kneeling down to confirm what you had stepped in. When was the last time you had seen snow? Well, you couldn’t even make a big dramatic moment out of it because you had no idea how long you had been in cryogenic sleep.

Did this mean you all were close to the surface? With the dilapidated state of things and the amount of plant life that had managed to grow down here it wasn’t too outlandish to think there were enough cracks and holes in the building for nature to seep through. If birds had found their way into the facility before then surely there must be some opening somewhere, maybe one large enough and far enough down that snow could’ve landed down here.

Sun leaned over your shoulder, staring down at the tiny pile you had stepped in. “Snow? All the way down here?” he tilted his head, his rays slowly ticking inward in thought.

“Maybe there’s some sort of opening that goes all the way to the top!” you suggested, looking up to try to find your way out of this facility. There didn’t seem to be some big, obvious gap in the ceiling, and if there had been you probably would’ve noticed that first upon entering this chamber. A look back down at the small amount of snow made you notice that it seemed to lead into the next chamber. Maybe a breeze had blown it into this room and the main gap was in the next one? Whatever the case you were quick to rush into the next chamber to investigate, much to Sun’s frustration.

Luckily for you, there were no immediate dangers in the room, so your rush didn’t get you killed on the spot.

“You really have got to stop doing that,” Sun groaned, following close behind. “One of these chamber you’re going to get yourself-,” he stopped for a moment at the much larger pile of snow in this room. It wasn’t like the room was covered wall to wall with it, but it was a surprisingly decent sized pile for how deep you both were.

This chamber did have a noticeably large hole in the ceiling, seeming to lead up farther than you could see from standing under it. The excitement at the prospect of the surface being so close nearly made your body forget about the cold entirely. Honestly this was probably the most hopeful you had been since you had woken up.

“Do you think shooting a portal up there would work?” It was a long shot that a portable surface was somehow placed perfectly at the top of this hole, but you might as well try, right?”

Sun now stood next to you, peering up through the levels revealed by the ceiling’s opening. He also doubted a convenient portable surface, but it would only take a second to fire the portal and see if their luck had finally turned around. He aimed the portal gun up and fired. You both waited for a moment, but nothing seemed to happen. The light indicator on the gun hadn’t even changed to indicate the color of a new portal being place, so it was safe to assume the shot had found no useable surface. Just to be sure Sun shot another portal on the wall closest to you both, this one forming without issue. It formed with no where to lead to, simply waiting on the gun to fire another functioning portal elsewhere.

“Worth a shot,” you shrugged with a sigh. Looks like you were back to the initial plan of just working your way up the long way. “Still, maybe if we can’t get all the way up maybe we could even get just a single floor up if we fire at another angle?” Another long shot but better than nothing.

As Sun readjusted his aim you glanced back at the pile of snow. Even if you were still far from out of here, it was reassuring to see something so distinctive of the surface being down here with you. If this snow could make it all the way down here and remain here, why couldn’t you and your companion do the same simply in the opposite direction?

You stepped towards the small mound of snow, Sun paying little attention to you while you did. Despite how cold you had been, you couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and touch the sun. The biting feeling of the cold against your fingertips had been worth it for the long since forgotten texture of it. Feeling it between your fingers was almost enough to make you think you were finally out of this place. Almost.  

Sun seemed to finally notice your distraction, turning to watch you carefully examine the snow. The tiny ice crystals forming the snow pile certainly wasn’t what he expected to find down here with you, but it beat acres and acres of broken glass and debris instead. It certainly was easier to maneuver around than either of those and posed less of a risk to your fragile human skin than sharp and jagged edges did.

As he watched you examine the snow, he noted you packing some of the snow into a ball.

“Look! This is good quality snow! Perfect for-,” as you turned to show him you were cut off by a snowball to the face. You sputtered a bit at the surprise, the taste of snow now fresh on your tongue as you wiped your face. Sun had made one so fast you had no time to even consider he might be planning anything nefarious.

Well, if that was how it was going to be, might as well use what you had!

Before Sun could hastily make another, you tossed a snowball that just barely hit him, your aim impacted since you were still rubbing snow out of your eyes. You had hit his rays but missed the main target of his face. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to be throwing a snowball at him, you didn’t want to mess anything up in him or cause actual damage.

But you figured if that was a risk then Sun would’ve told you that the moment after the snowball collided with him instead of hastily making another one to hurl in your direction. You fumbled with another handful of snow before darting for cover, packing another snowball as you did.

Your options for shielding were limited, and the one you had picked was the remnants of an angled platform to shoot a portal on. You weren’t sure why you didn’t think any farther ahead than just finding somewhere to duck behind, but if you had you might’ve been able dodge the next projectile headed your way.

By the time you processed the sound of the portal gun firing you were already feeling a cold splatter against the back of your head. You turned to see blue portal behind you, Sun waving at you through it with a smirk before quickly shooting another portal before you could chuck your own snowball back at him. Your snowball became a pitiful splat against the cold hard wall.

Now you were snowball-less, and would have to venture out from behind your cover to get another one. You really did not think this true.

“Something the matter? Why aren’t you coming out?” Sun teased.

Your plan was to throw caution to the wind and just book it for the snow pile. You were lucky enough to dodge a shot from him, grabbing another fistful and packing that as you ran for cover once more. You knew wherever you hid you had to prepare for a portal opening up near you, and this time when one did you were ready.

Crouching behind a platform with a broken aerial faith plate, your arm was cocked and ready to throw. The moment you heard the portal gun fire you tossed the snowball towards the wall closest to you, the timing being just right for the portal to open before the snowball hit the wall. It was so sudden that Sun had no time to step out of the way, not expecting that from you at all.

The sound of direct contact and an indignant huff told you that you had hit your mark perfectly. You quickly got out of the way of the portal before Sun could recover and throw his own snowball back at you, heading back towards the snow pile.

Maybe you both should’ve been more focused on getting out of here, but honestly this brief respite had felt pretty good. Sometimes a playful break to remind you that you were still alive despite the monotonous and stressful trek through the facility was necessary for your wellbeing. Besides, when had a little fun ever killed anybody?

Apparently right now, because as you got to the pile Sun had shot a portal over, making a larger snowball than he had before with the full intention of hitting you in the face again. You looked up from making your own snowball to see him standing over you with his much larger one, quickly realizing and coming to terms with the fact that this was the part where he kills you. You braced for the frozen sting and, as expected, it hit you square in the face.

Thankfully he didn’t throw it as hard as he could’ve, seeming to take some form of mercy on you. You attempted to throw your snowball blindly at him but based on his laugh you correctly assumed you had failed to hit your target by a long shot.

“Well! I think that’s enough of that, we’ve both made our points. Some of us better and more consistently than others,” you could hear the smirk in his voice as well as the sound of his rays spinning around in satisfaction.

You fought off another shiver as you wiped the snow out of your face, your face now soaked from it.

“Yeah, yeah. But I did get you once! I’ll take it!” you chuckled, your sight finally being cleared up.

When you heard the portal gun fire again you nearly braced yourself for another snowball to the face. It would’ve been a bit unfair for him to trick you into thinking the assault was over, but you also would not put that past him at all.

“How little do you think of me?” you heard him mock from farther away with a laugh. Well, you didn’t think he was some sort of Machiavellian villain, but it wasn’t an out there thought to think he’d be a bit conniving with things. The portal use to achieve a snowball to the back of your head had been proof enough of that for you.

Not that it mattered much to you, it was all in good fun anyway.

Before you could answer him, Sun continued, heading back over to you. “There was a portable surface, only a level or two up. Not much, but it’s better than being a level lower.” He fired a second portal onto the wall, a passageway leading to a more damaged looking level sitting ahead of you.

Even if it did look a little rougher, a higher level was a higher level. You both would take what you could get, and at the end of the day it was one level closer to freedom.  

Sun held out a hand to you, and you took it as he pulled you to your feet. The chill of the snow was starting to seep into you, so it was probably for the best you had both ended the frosty assault here.

“I’ll go in first, make sure its clear,” Sun said, hopping in before you could argue. After a moment or two you heard him call out to you. “Come on through!” You hopped in after him, steadying yourself from the slight drop through the portal. This floor was more of the usual, wreckage and rubble, with none of the fun snow from the level below. Oh well, not every floor could be a winner.

Playtime was over, and it was time for you both to continue the journey upwards. The distraction had been nice, but you both still had a long way to go, together.

But who knows, maybe you’d get lucky and find another giant hole in the ceiling that led all the way up to the surface! Even if you didn’t, maybe you both could still have fun again on the way up. Whatever happened, you at least took comfort in the fact that you wouldn’t have to do it alone.

[thedinanshiral]

How have the dragons aged.

I have to address the identity crisis many are having around Dragon Age. Namely, what is Dragon Age? What makes Dragon Age be Dragon Age?

Dragon Age is everchanging, it always tries new things, introduces new protagonists, new companions, new conflicts and cultures to navigate through. Maybe it'd be easier to define what Dragon Age isn't. Dragon Age isn't unchanging, it isn't stagnant, it isn't a single uniform thing, and tryingto reduce it to such will always result in failure.

The simpler, more obvious answer when searching what defines a Dragon Age game is worldbuilding, storytelling, characters. Dragon Age isn't about a specific, limited game genre, a set-in-stone gameplay style, or a single character that must always return for it all to make sense, and it isn't a determined art style either.

Dragon Age is Thedas, with all it contains. It's the lore, and i assure you it has not been retconed and the games haven't been rebooted, because everything's been a conscious choice that makes sense in-world. And because at this point Thedas is its own, none of it has to adjust to what we expect of it.

From a technical standpoint it's simply not feasible to include every decision from past games, there's just too many, and frankly many don't change anything on the grand scale of things. I saw this happen with the Keep, many of the choices available for DAO and DA2 i couldn't even remember. Maybe they mattered then and there, and served their purpose with exposition, but clearly whatever my Warden decided to do with the werewolves in the Brecilian forest was never going to define the fate of the world. So devs have to decide which choices matter in the big picture, the biggest picture they can think of, and work from there.

Many were very upset certain decisions from previous games weren't affecting Veilguard like they imagined, and it wasn't just choices but lore as well. But lore in DA can be tricky for some; it's not presented by an omniscient narrator, quite the contrary, the lore in DA has always been presented by UNRELIABLE narrators, questionable and extremely biased sources like Orlesian scholars and Chantry sisters, or sources who are just as clueless about it all as the players, as random farmers, adventurers, common folk just leaving notes and letters behind, even gossiping. The lore in Thedas is presented in a similar way as our own history is: records are missing and maybe later rediscovered, some authors have an agenda, victors write history and the defeated and conquered are silenced and their version of events lost to oblivion, things go terribly misunderstood for ages and upon new findings hopefully they get corrected. There has even been quests exemplifying this, so the game itself is telling us repeatedly to question everything. We don't know Thedas as well as we like to think we do, and we've only participated in a couple of decades of its ninth age.

Disclaimer tho, this post is not an invitation to argue with me, to tell me how wrong i am and how much you disagree with me. I know these are controversial points a lot of people are very upset/annoyed/disappointed with, it's why i'm addressing them, i have read enough of that side and i'm simply providing an alternative and nope, i will not budge on any of this (: If you disagree just go on with your life, best of fortunes to you and have a nice day!

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

Who the Warden was and what choices they made as an individual don't matter much going forward, only that they stopped the Fifth Blight; that and that alone is their real contribution to thedosian history, when you really think about it, if you can put nostalgia on break for a bit. I love Hawke, i do, but they were just a lil' guy doing the best they could with the cards life dealt to them. Interesting things happened to them, not the other way around. And we can all agree the defining moment in DA2 was the fireworks, and that wasn't even Hawke, it was Anders. The Inquisitor is a bit more relevant, if only because of an extra unfortunate case of wrong time, wrong place. Again, fate just messes with people in Thedas in unforeseeable ways. What do you mean you found a blighted Magister Sidereal sacrificing Divine Justinia during the Conclave, and accidentally touched an acient elvhen artifact that marked you as the new key to the Fade itself and granted you power to close holes in the Veil from where demons come out??? Oh, y'know, just another Tuesday in Thedas. But that's where it gets more interesting, Inquisition is where certain players showed up, and with them came revelations. The Golden City is not so golden, the Maker is not sitting in a throne, at least one ancient Tevinter Magister is walking around blighted, the Evanuris weren't particuarly nice, some ancient elves still live, Flemeth is Mythal, and Solas is not just an apostate hobo mage who knows stuff because he "saw it in the Fade", but because he is the Dread Wolf, the one responsible for the Veil and how it reshaped the world.

That was a lot to take in, and it changed everything.

The Inquisition choice most people are upset about that didn't carry into Veilguard is who drank from the Well of Sorrows, because of the implications of whoever did being bound to the will of Mythal. The reason why that is inconsequential now is simple: Mythal is dead. There's no longer any will to be bound to! And you could counter saying Mythal has been dead for a long time, yes, but the fragment that survived through Flemeth was possibly her strongest, and she's gone too. Morrigan in Veilguard explains what she has of Mythal now is just her memories and knowledge; there's no will left, only a fragment here or there with no real power to exhert over anyone. We can see the consequences of drinking from the Well already in Inquisition, when we meet Flemeth through the Eluvian, and she either controls Morrigan or controls the Inquisitor to stop Morrigan. But once Flemeth is gone, that power is gone too. Therefore, as much as you might hate me for saying it, who drank from the Well of Sorrows doesn't matter anymore.

Another thing people are mad about is they don't get to see racism, slavery and oppression, which is...odd, that you'd want to see that so much not having it ruins the whole game for you. Personally i'm no fan of torture porn, and i can infer a lot from blood magic ritual sites littered with charred corpses and blood splatter decorating the walls. That's what we got and i don't need much more. Yes, we got see to Tevinter. Ok, not the whole of Tevinter, just Minrathous. Ok, not Minrathous per-se, but Dock Town. We can visit the poor area of Minrathous. Who's gonna have slaves when they're poor themselves? Oh yeah, Halos the guy that fries fish by the docks is gonna have an elven slave to mistreat in front of Rook just to remain truthful to the lore we got so far, sure. That sounds ridiculous to you? Good, it should. Seeing Dock Town is not retconing the awful bits of lore about Tevinter, it's adding to it. Minrathous is not the jewel of an empire, it's a big city and like all big cities it has its ugly side, it has slums too, it has areas where the poor live poor lives barely making it day by day, under the thumb of an elite that doesn't even know they exist nor would they care at all if they did. We may not get to see slaves being abused or people being racist towards elves but we can hear how common people keep disappearing, and later find out some Tevinter mage needed bodies for their rituals. We find so many bodies, such gruesome scenes...

Another complaint i've seen around is how who was chosen as Divine in Inquisition doesn't matter because apparently there's no Chantry in Veilguard and that goes against the lore, etc. In short, that's like complaining there's no Protestantism in the Vatican. The North is not under the Orlesian Chantry influence, Tevinter has its own version of the Chantry, their own Divine, their own expressions within the faith. Who was chosen as Divine south of the Waking Sea probably, most likely, doesn't even faze them. If there's a chantry to have any influence in the areas we visit in Veilguard, that would be the Tevinter one, but even so the North is a very particular region. We learned in previous games that magic is to be feared and therefore controlled, that dealing with spirits is unwise at best, and that the risk of possession leads inequivocably to abominations and must therefore be avoided at all costs, spirits are to be avoided, they can turn into demons, everything is demons! Bodies are cremated to prevent possession and anyone claiming to be talking with spirits is identified as an abomination. Yet in Rivain, which is not under the Chantry and has a history of cultural and religious diversity, seers can commune with spirits in a harmless way, and work together just fine. Meanwhile in Nevarra, there's a whole institution dedicated to the preservation of the dead, the communication with the decesased, spirits and demons, a whole branch of magical studies and applications revolving around diving into what Andrastianism warns against, and it's done in a very solemn manner and benevolent attitude. Tevinter's main difference with the South comes from a different interpretation of the Chant of Light, where if magic is to serve man, then those in power who are to serve the people should be mages, so they're ruled by a mage supremacy and their entire society is defined by it. It makes, in game, within the lore, perfect sense that we don't get overly religious andrastians crying for the Maker to deliver them from demons and possession and the evil of magic in a region where all that is everyday's bread and butter and people are generally cool with it or at the very least used to it. Harding talks a a bit about the Maker, Neve admits she can't keep up with the andrastian festivities, and i guess the only case for the Andrastianism we know would be Antiva, but let's face it, a kingdom ruled from behind the curtains by an order of assassins for hire isn't gonna be very adept to following religious tenets. (As a small note of colour, there is a Chantry building in Antiva, unaccessible as far as i know, and right across it through the canals there's a nug statue, one could say a golden nug statue but on its four legs, not like the one we had in DAI. I like to think that's Schmooples, and a hint that by default the Divine is Leliana but that's just me ok she's my Divine).

I also want to talk about "those across the sea". For people who got or learned of the secret hidden post-credits scene, it may have felt like that reveal automatically invalidated everything we ever did in every game so far so nothing really matters anymore, but that's not the case. The choice of words they use was deliberate by the devs, Epler said that much on Bluesky. These mysterious figures "balanced, guided, whispered". They did not "control" or "forced". They did basically no different than what Flemeth/Mythal had been doing, giving history a nudge when needed. They manipulated different actors throughout history, but didn't exactly force their hand. The Magisters decided to follow the whispers of their gods and try to break into the Fade because of their own greed for power. Loghain betrayed Cailan and the Wardens because of his own feelings, Bartrand fell to the power of the red lyrum and refused to listen to his own family. These beings, whatever they are, have influenced the stage setting it all up for their arrival, but ultimately it was people's choice, by their free will, what had the final say. Loghain could have respected his own King whom he had a duty to serve, Bartrand could have listened to Varric, everyone under their influence could have broken out of it if they wanted to do differently.. but they didn't.

Lastly, I've seen comments about how Veilguard is a "soft reboot" because of how it handles the events in the South, virtually erasing it so nothing from previous games mattered and now there's a "clean slate" to take the series to new places instead of ever returning to Ferelden. First off, nothing says we had to return to Ferelden at all. Guys we had THREE games in Ferelden already, let it rest. Secondly, the events from previous games do matter, they have all led to the events in Veilguard: Varric wouldn't have been at the right time and place to join the Inquisition if Hawke hadn't become the Champion of Kirkwall making himself a POI for Cassandra, nobody would have been at the Conclave if Anders hadn't set the fuse, and Anders wouldn't have had Justice and later Vengeance if Awakening hadn't happened. So Varric and Harding wouldn't have been chasing after Solas at all, nobody would even know he existed, without a long chain of previous events from all games and pieces of media in this series. It has all led to this moment, and for that it has all mattered. Ferelden and the South being destroyed is consistent with them experiencing two blights at once, with enhanced new darkspawn, with two blighted Evanuris on the loose. It's the end of the world! And this time there's no magic hand to save the day, the people in the south are just that, people. Trust the Inquisitor and their allies to do their absolute best to face the threat, that's all we can do. Life and history moves on. And just as the North, where most Blights took place, with the first one lasting a hundred years, survived and eventually thrived so can the South, they can eventually recover, heal, and real world limitations aside, it'd even be possible to be part of that effort. I can easily imagine a new protagonist taking the action back to the South, contributing to the efforts to recover after the double Blight, helping Ferelden and Orlais stand again. Not to mention, with how deep and rich Thedas is in its worldbuilding, if BW wanted to "reboot" they could just pick any place, any point in history, any faction, create new ones, and just go wild with it. What happens in the South in Veilguard is not necessary at all for a reboot, so it's there at the very least to show how desperate the situation is, how high the stakes are. I think the updates we get from the Inquisitor are there to really make us feel it, and as Rook try our best to solve things on our end because the sooner we kill the archdemons, the sooner we end Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain, the better the chances of the South to survive this calamity.

I could keep writing but this is long enough. I'm not done playing The Veilguard (on my 2nd and 3rd run!), and i keep taking oh so many notes, but i wanted to lay down my thoughts on these few points first. If you read this far thank you and i'm so sorry, it's annoying how i can pull a counter for everything, i know.

[deviiancetv]

Choking Up On The Symptoms of Life…

Have you been choked enough by the symptoms of life? Well, so have I.

Anyways, heyyyy, I’m still alive (sadly) I haven’t updated my blog much due to dealing with the horrors of the world, as well as being choked up by the symptoms of life. It hasn’t been much of an update, but there’s still an update nonetheless; we’re back living in a hotel *crickets and slow cheers*. It’s a long story that I don’t feel like repeating, but it’s essentially just another downward spiral within these last two and a half years.

All of these repetitive events and patterns are only furthering my urge to have an uncomfortable conversation with my mom to give her my ultimatum, that I cannot continue going through these changes — feeling so stifled and suffocated by being in survival mode, I haven’t even began to consider what I want out of my own life, and it’s not like the current state of the United States is making life for us any easier…

I haven’t been able to vocalize how I feel outside of audio messages in my journaling app. I will say that lately, I’ve been using X to go live and repost my live streams on my channel as one takes chatlogs for expressing whatever it is on my mind that I want to share, it’s been pretty therapeutic and also is an easy way of uploading content even when I barely have the time or energy to do so. My recent vlog titled the same as this post delves into my mental state of mind, and some positives I’ve experienced like getting a cute new portfolio I found on Amazon, and the fact that I had an interview for a new job.

I do on one hand want to say that the debut album “Choke Enough” by Oklou (pronounced Ok-loo) a French electronic pop artist, songwriter, and DJ, has been on repeat this first quarter of the year along with the likes of Eusexua, Love & Hyperbole, Perverts and So Close to What. The music released this beginning part of the year has been amazing, but Choke Enough has been a project I keep coming back to… no pun intended for the song ‘want to wanna comeback’.

The trance-inducing whimsical production coated over nostalgic electro-pop and hyperpop blend immensely well, and that’s what’s made this album such a staple in my playlist over the last few weeks. I’m predicting that my Spotify Wrapped will likely have this album at no.1 for my top 5 albums of the year, plus the title track being my ongoing stimming song for the last 4-5 months. The album's themes of searching for meaning, and purpose during the digital age and navigating personal struggles of growing up, close connections, and Y2K nostalgia have been things I’ve started relating to a lot lately.

I relate to this album on such a spiritual level that not many people can understand. As I’ve been navigating my struggles with adulting, being homeless with my mom, job hunting, working at a job I could care less about, and wanting to tap into my creative energy as much as possible. All while looking for meaning and purpose in my life and trying to balance it all has been a struggle. I’ve become so sick of everything and have come EXTREMELY close to crashing out completely… and yet the feeling of wanting to run away has been in the back of my mind for a long time.

I think it’s funny how this became a two-for-one-blog post; an album review + life update about my ongoing struggles, but hey, it’s all I can offer at the moment haha. Hopefully, I’ll have some better news to share next month, because this month has definitely been a doozy.

[once-in-a-blood-moon]

Jo Explains with Tarot : Solomon's Unforgettable Past

Incoming long winded explanation/analyzation about the Festival of Flowers from Solomon's "Unforgettable Past" Devilgram, but doing it with tarot cards. So, spoilers ahead and lots of nonsense beyond this point if this isn't your thing :) I broke this into sections so it'd be easier to read...hopefully.

Please note: these are my interpretations of the cards. Your interpretations may be different, and that's okay! That's great even. That just means there's more to learn from the cards than just one perspective. So neither of us are wrong, we just see things in different ways. Don't be afraid to expand with your own thoughts if you want!

So, I realized something recently. One of the days on the Obey Me calendar was the Devildom Flower Festival, held annually on June 20th. And I think it's safe to say it's the same festival you visit with Solomon in his card "Unforgettable Past."

In that, he explains the war the Devildom commemorates every year and the legend behind it. The timespan of the war was 7 days. So...from June 20th (not counting it) we'd see that the war started on June 13th.

Why does any of this matter? Well, it probably doesn't to anyone but me, but here I'm going to explain the significance of those dates with...tarot cards!

How this works is how you would calculate your personal birth cards. It's really simple. Just add up all the numbers in the date, but not before making each digit a single digit, to get your results. Usually you get two cards, though there are special instances where some might get three, but's not as common. (I'll use a random date as an example: 8/10/1983 - 8+1+0+1+9+8+3 = 30. There's only 21 major arcana cards that are applicable, so you'd break the 30 down as well to get 3 - the Empress. To get the second card from 3, you use what adds to make 3 which would be 1+2, put those together and you get 12 - the Hanged Man. It's kind of like the reversal of what we did to get the first card. I hope I explained that well enough.

---

June 13th

With that out of the way, let's start with June 13, 6/13. This would give us 10. The tenth card in the major arcana is the Wheel of Fortune. Break down 10, and we get 1. The first card of the major arcana (ignoring the Fool since it's the zeroth card) is, ironically, the Magician.

The Magician card focuses on what you already have and expanding on those skills. Pictured in the card, there is one of each suit from the minor arcana laying on a table (one wand, cup, sword, and pentacle). Those represent the ace cards of those suits, which usually indicate beginnings or starting points. Essentially, the Magician already has novice level skills to help him navigate through his journeys, and as he experiences more his knowledge will grow and he'll "collect" more of each suit. He's an innovator, a go-getter, and as long as he keeps his head on his shoulders and doesn't get ahead of himself, he'll progress just fine. Also pictured is the Magician holding a candle in the air while pointing downwards with his free hand. To me, this could represent a guiding light, a symbol of the fifth element: spirit (as above, so below), a eureka! moment (the lightbulb over someone's head), or that he's declaring his own start - like charging into something with vigor. He's also got an infinity sign above his head, but that'll come in later...

The Wheel of Fortune focuses on chance and opportunity. Sometimes it's an indication of reigning in a new future or era, whether it's within our personal lives or seeing it unfold through society. A few things to note in the illustration is the little red guy??, the sphinx, and the snake surrounding the wheel. To me, I see the red guy kind of fox-like, or even devilish. Regardless, he's sneaky, cunning, willing to take risks to see himself come out at the top in the end. The sphinx is holding a sword, reminding me of the Justice card, or the suit of swords. The sphinx is logical, wielding rationale as a weapon should taking the risk turn to be less than ideal or difficult. A sharp intellect, if you will. And the snake, to me, represents the temptation of wanting to go along with something for the sake of knowledge or curiosity. There's also the three animals and one angel in the corners of the card, but I won't go into detail on them for the sake of brevity. But to me, they represent higher wisdom, or that the fate of the wheel is divinely guided.

-

According to his Devilgram story, he'd spoken to a demon in the human realm, which sparked the brazen idea that he could convince the Demon King and his citizens to work under him. It was an opportunity, a risk he was willing to take if it meant a more favorable fate/outcome for the human realm. Obviously, Solomon thought that he had what it took to get the king to see reason, whether it be through charm and wit alone, or through more brutal means. By that point, he was already able to subjugate demons to his will, so why not go father when the opportunity presents itself? Perhaps even doing so to test his own strength and power.

So, he had the skill, he had the charisma, but he also had the arrogance of the Magician in reverse. All he had to do was take matters into his own hands for the sake of "furthering human kind's development," find an opening, show just how powerful humans could be, and strike. And he struck hard. Solomon took his risk and fought with everything he had in him. Alone. That day, he held the destiny of the human realm in his hands.

---

June 20th

Onto the eighth day, June 20, 6/20. Adding this gives us 8, which is the eighth card - Strength. And then 1+7 = 8, so put those together to get the number 17 - the Star.

The Strength card is just about that: strength. Strength doesn't have to be physical. More often than not, our inner courage defines our true strength. In this card, we see a woman who looks to be petting a lion. Whether she's attempting to befriend him or trying to soothe him, she's showing great bravery by approaching the situation with calmness and gentility. In the face of what could be a problematic situation, if not dealt with swiftly/correctly, this card reminds us that we have the option to fight with fearlessness, approach with a silent confidence, or we can choose to walk away altogether. Then that leads us to either being the bigger person or being cowardly, depending on the issue at hand. So, remember I mentioned the infinity symbol above the Magician's head? The lady in this card has one above her head as well. This, to me, is a call back that we have the skills to handle any problem that arises. We are equipped with strength and courage and any learned tricks we may have up our sleeve to give us the upper hand.

The Star is one of the more positive cards in the tarot deck (aside from the Sun of course). Maybe uplifting is a better way to describe it. This card holds hope for a brighter future, a better tomorrow. The Star reminds us that it's okay to heal, breathe, and wish upon hope that things can get better. The sky is the limit. In this illustration, there's a woman pouring water back into what looks to be a river with her foot hovering over it. It's almost like she'd lost hope to the cruelty of life, but she's ready try again and slowly dip her toes back in. She's allowing herself time to do so, reflecting on why she wants to and why she's ready, like affirmations. The ripples in the water remind me of both the ripple effect and of manifestations. By taking the initiative, good things may come her way or she may make change within the world around her. Also, in her other hand she's got another pitcher that's pouring out water onto the ground. We can take this either that she's unknowingly nurturing something in the midst of her finding herself, or that by enveloping herself in this new hope, she's actively pouring out the old.

-

On the eighth day, Solomon vanishes, ultimately putting a stop to the fighting. What led up to this decision, we don't know. Although, you can ask Solomon if "the sorcerer" just threw in the towel, to which he stills for a moment, almost as if he were offended or caught of guard by our question. He doesn't elaborate on that further, only responding with- "maybe. We'll never know for sure." It's telling that to him it obviously wasn't a matter of giving up. There was more at stake than just his pride or lust for power. And he made the decision to walk away when he probably could've went on for much longer.

And why would he leave a field of flowers as a "parting gift" if it meant nothing? He's a pretty cryptic guy, after all. But again, we don't know why exactly he did so. It could've been a promise that humanity would further on its own and they'd one day see he was right. Maybe it was the hope that the realms could coincide someday and that he recognized the Devildom's power. Or simply, it was his version of a "white flag." No matter what he originally meant by them, the flowers would go on to be the focus of the festival to commemorate the Devildom's victory. In Solomon's words, "it's a day to hope for peace and prosperity throughout the land."

[sacred-coffin]

Thinking about ghoul concepts and wanted to start with Sodo!! In my mind it's rare to see the ghouls not in their "stage" costumes, but I'm sure there are times when they aren't, right? Also, since I'm reposting this I had some more thoughts- I'm going to call the "less casual" form the Element form :)

Hopefully I can make some more designs soon :) until then, I'm gonna ramble some below

EDIT: YAYYYY it posted right this time !!!!!!!!!

I don't feel like you'd see much of the casual / less casual ghoul forms, but who knows! I'm gonna keep thinking on them. I wanna design a true form for the ghouls too, but that's a bit... more out of my artistic wheelhouse. For now!

But, for the human design! I like to think he keeps his clothes as simple as possible. Being a water ghoul turned fire, I imagine he was already used to not wearing a lot (easier to swim) and then being a fire ghoul gets pretty hot, hence the tank top & baggy pants.

He presents himself as kinda stoic and grumpy, but it's totally an act, but mostly for anyone who isn't a ghoul (or his current Papa, and still Copia when he is Frater Imperator). Because of that he wears lots of cute little keepsakes for his friends :) he hasn't gotten one from Phantom yet, but that's only because phantom hasn't found the perfect one yet. He has things from the other ghouls he's worked with, but he's stopped wearing them after he got closer with the current ghouls. He keeps them somewhere he can see them, though. He still wears the necklace from Aether though, because they were very very close.

I also think that, despite being a huge trouble maker with a short fuse, he's also really quick to take charge if the situation arises, even more-so after Aether left. It's because he's one of the ghouls who's been summoned longer than some others, but being in charge doesn't actually come naturally to him. He's very happy when someone else can handle the responsibilities, but he keeps a close eye just in case.

Also, while thinking about his temper, he actually wasn't always so quick to anger! But it's not because he's an angry person, he just has a lot of passion and strong emotions (which is also why he tries to put on a stoic front), but most people tend to just see that come out as anger, because that one is harder to keep in. This is all because of his change from water ghoul to fire ghoul- he didn't grow up having to navigate and handle all the intense emotions of being a fire ghoul, so he's still adjusting. Really he doesn't have a short fuse, he's just holding in a lot of things so it seems kind of random when he bursts. He's working on it though!

That's all the thoughts I have for now, but! I hope to have more to contribute another time :3

[monster-rinds]

Chapter 5: Not a hit

I walked out of the theater positively vibrating with energy.

Middle of the week and late at night for the latest Disney movie meant that there weren’t as many families attending as there would be on the weekend during an earlier showing. And generally being a happier, uplifting movie, there was a lot less fear and chaos during which to hide an attack. It had been relatively safe for me to attend alone, but I hadn’t actually been alone.

There was a large enough audience that I’d been filled to the brim with amusement, excitement, longing, and all the other kinds of feelings a reasonably decent Disney flick can spark in a child or a teenager. And they’d all been potential witnesses to any sort of demise I might have faced. If anything had happened in that room that had sparked fear and terror from those around me, it would have drawn attention and could have escalated into something just as dangerous for the hunter as for me, the hunted.

But as I’d entered the building and navigated it to my seat, I’d seen little Sharpie graffiti here and there on the walls that marked the presence of Felicity. She’d told me that they’d be there, including in the women’s restroom. And she’d said they’d allow her to spread her presence and keep an eye on everything. I didn’t know exactly how that worked, but I had a rough idea.

As every human caught a glimpse of the little doodle of a monster eye, it would open up a sort of psychic portal in their mind made of metaphor and symbolism, and Felicity could extend a tendril of herself into their mind. She could even jump her whole self over from one vessel to another, in order to reach me as quickly as possible when it was necessary.

It also allowed her to keep her primary vessel, which could be recognized, off the premises entirely.

But she couldn’t reside in my psyche because I’m a monster, another emanant. Once she attempted to enter my mind, she’d initiate feeding, and presumably neither of us wanted that.

And, she only inhabited a minor percentage of the crowd. Enough to be nearly everywhere, but there were still plenty of people who weren’t host to her. Not everyone happened to glance at one of her glyphs.

This all made the idea of me trying to be caught alone in the bathroom really terrifying, because she wouldn’t have actual eyes on me in there. But, it would probably be the only way to lure a predator to strike if there was one stalking me.

However, we’d planned for that. If there was a predator stalking me, they wouldn’t be waiting in the restroom, they’d be following me to see where I went. So Felicity would hopefully have eyes on them right up to the point that they decided to enter the restroom with me. And she’d strike as they stepped in.

Or something like that.

As I walked across the hallway, humming the movie's theme song to myself, hands in my legging pockets like a dork, I gave a look around at the crowd.

There were a couple of families making a bee-line for the restroom, along with a couple other people, so when I went in there I’d have to use a stall or do my makeup or something until everyone else left. That was to be expected. Taking the disguise of a woman made it a little easier to stall, because women tend to be expected to do a wider range of things while in a restroom.

And, I caught a glimpse of two other women behind me yawning simultaneously. Strangers in perfect synchronization.

That was Felicity’s signal. She’d spotted her target, and everything was in position.

So the plan was a go.

And I moved forward with it.

Felicity hadn’t left anything to chance in that restroom. Her glyph was nearly everywhere. It was on the side of the dryer closest to the door, right in front of anyone entering the room. Then, when I went into a stall to sit and pretend to evacuate my bladder, I saw it on the inside of the stall door right at eye level. It was pretty easy to assume it was in every stall. And nearly everyone in the bathroom would become her eyes and ears just by entering the place.

So, by following a small crowd in, I was still being watched, and could receive an abort signal right up to the last minute.

I decided I needed to be out where I could see and hear everyone before they left, so I made my “peeing” quick. Then I went to a sink to wash my hands, and then reached for my purse. Unzipping it, I pulled out a compact and brush and started touching up my face in the mirror. I could pull anything out of any bag I had on myself, of course. But I went out of my way to make it look logical, and to imply that I’d be a while.

And fixing up my makeup after watching a movie that might have made me cry seemed like a reasonable thing to do.

A lot of women and girls in the Portland area didn’t actually wear much makeup. It was just not a major part of the culture. But there were enough that did that it wasn’t unusual to see someone messing with her face at any given time.

Mothers helped their girls wash their hands and straighten their clothing, arguing with them and their sisters about hurrying it up and whether or not they could go anywhere else before going home to bed. A teenager started working on her makeup in a mirror, too, but was going about it faster than me. Another woman came in as one of the other adults left. And it took a while to clear out.

I’d expected that, and kept my patience, even though I could feel my energy slowly burning off and being replaced by raw nervousness. But nervousness is alertness for me, and that was good.

And, so far, no one gave me the “bug out” signal. It was still all going as planned.

What made me extra nervous was that I couldn’t perceive the target, my hunter. Felicity had let me know she had eyes on them and knew where they were, but I had no idea which direction they would be coming from.

And I knew that would probably be the case, but it still felt Very Bad.

It meant that I had to lay a lot more trust in her than I was comfortable with. And I wasn’t comfortable trusting her at all.

But she knew who I was and what my daily habits were. She’d already stalked me. So, if she was going to betray me, or even eat me, she’d had plenty of better opportunities to do that already, during times when I was less alert and less aware of my imminent danger.

What made me nervous was that if the hunter was faster than Felicity, I wouldn’t see it coming.

And I still wasn’t entirely clear how she was going to catch and eat it.

I’d seen nearly everything up to this point, but there’s always surprises, new adaptations. And “nearly” isn’t “entirely”. There’s always a chance I’ve missed something.

I knew that a teratovore like Felicity can eat someone from the inside out. But in my experience that usually requires eye contact. And that might not be possible in this case. My hunter might not even have eyes! I had no clue as to what my hunter even was or how they worked. And if they did have eyes, they’d be watching me. So, since the plan was a go, Felicity would have a different method of pouncing on them.

Wouldn’t she?

I just didn’t know.

I don’t like not knowing.

But there was nothing I could do about it but remain alert and poised to run for the door.

However, it was very possible the hunter would come from the direction of the door, to corner me.

So as the group of restroom users dwindled down to one other woman besides me, I became more and more tense.

Then, just as she finished drying her hands and walked out, applying lotion in the aftermath of washing, someone else walked in, passing her right at the door.

Shit.

A gothy twenty-something, if I could judge a human’s age that well, wearing big headphones and carrying a fat black leather purse with studs all over it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I tracked her, or them, and tried to keep all of my senses tuned to their presence.

Nothing about them screamed monster, but they were looking down at the purse when they entered and passed the first dryer. So, they might not have Felicity riding with them.

I’d been in there so long, I was just doing fiddly touchup with my makeup, with the tips of my pinkies.

The goth smiled at me and joined me at the sinks to check out their makeup.

Then they decided it was fine and moved to the big accessible stall at the far end of the bathroom. They were skinny and walking with assurity in their platform knee high boots. I could see someone with the girth I was projecting choosing that stall because the others were too narrow. But I didn’t say anything. I should have, for the sake of any chair user who might have rolled in, but like so many humans I just didn’t.

To this day I regret that.

But the second that stall door closed, I glanced in the direction of the restroom entrance.

Nothing. Nobody.

It was just me and the goth.

And the restroom got very quiet. So quiet, I could faintly hear the music in the goth’s headphones. All that came from them was a tinny, rhythmic hissing.

The smell of the place wasn’t great. It had obviously been cleaned fairly recently, because I could detect the strong scents of the cleaning fluids, but underlying that was urine and feces, and a hint of vomit. Typical of a restroom that’s been heavily used recently.

One of the lights flickered a little bit as my eyes insisted on picking up little unimportant details for lack of any action.

There was a wavy line of scratches in the mirrors, like if left by somebody keying a car. I was uncertain how it was made, but obviously some care was taken to make the line match up from mirror to mirror.

There were little bits of toilet paper all over the floor. Someone had taken several squares of it and shredded it like confetti, sometime before I’d entered the facilities, and thrown it all over the place. And then the scraps had been kicked around by everyone else’s shoes.

Other tiny bits of graffiti besides Felicity’s monster eyes sparsely dotted the walls, usually in pencil or ballpoint pen. The one closest to me said, “If we were in love, you wouldn’t have missed.”

And I tore my eyes away from it and glanced at the entrance again.

I needed to make an excuse for staying in the room longer than the goth newbie, so I started the sink running as if to clean up my hands from doing my makeup and began to think about what other activities I could imitate.

But just as the water hit the bottom of the sink, there was a disturbing crunch, a scream, and a terrible splattering noise from the accessible stall behind me.

---

previous

next

[micalpixel]

May Game - March 2025 Devlog

Hello again! Another month has passed, so it's time for another monthly devlog!

Story and Quests

As mentioned in the last devlog, I was not satisfied with the main quests in my game. They felt forgettable, too fetch-quest-y, and felt disconnected from the game's world and lore.

There's been a lot of improvement in that regard. I'm currently planning to have 3 main quests ready for the game's first playtest. I've fleshed out the characters on paper and made their quests feel more relevant, and hopefully fun.

I also decided to increase the final game's quest count from 6 to 8. Originally, I planned for the game to have just one dungeon-y quest. But I've found that an overworld where backtracking is commonplace isn't a great place to put challenging enemies or complex puzzles. So, I'm adding two dungeons and moving a lot of the ideas into those. This will make things feel less cramped from me trying to cram so many ideas into a single dungeon.

State Machines

I reworked the game's characters and objects to use state machines. Each object now has exactly one "state" at all times. Standing, walking, idle, frozen, thawing, etc.

Previously, this was all handled with...a lot of if/else checks. 😅 State machines make it much easier to change their states during cutscenes. And it lets me divide up their code so that each state's functionality is in one place (typically two functions - one that runs per-frame, and one to initialize the state whenever it changes).

Enemies can now be frozen by your whistle ability. And after a while, they will start to thaw out. Two states, both of which now have custom visuals which are similar for all enemy types.

Text

The game's text box has been a source of annoyance for a while. The game's resolution is only 160x144. And I'd hoped to keep text aligned to 8-pixel lines to mimic the limitations of old game consoles (especially the Game Boy). But I want to have realistic dialogue and meaningful conversations. Having just two lines of text makes that very hard. And there wasn't a good way to easily convey who is speaking, in cases where multiple characters are onscreen. I suspect this is why, on many old games, the protagonist is silent and conversations with more than 1 other character were uncommon. But that feels too limiting for me.

So, I ditched the tile-aligned text limitation. I also added a sprite on the text box to indicate who's speaking. Also trotted out an old 3x5 pixel font I made last year but never found a use for, to indicate their name. And I like it! A lot.

With the text box now in a good place, I feel much more comfortable working on the game's cutscenes now, since I have a better grasp of what the text box's limitations are.

The text boxes also changed from a parchment-style to a wooden-block-style. This fit their new tabbed look a bit better. Cursors were also changed to pink arrows, since the pink protagonist is the one technically making those decisions.

Graphics

Lots of graphics received overhauls:

May's walk animations were updated yet AGAIN. In particular, the sun's highlights in her hair are toned down, and her side-sprites no longer have her shoulders appear so far behind her head. I wanted to get this feeling right before I start making other NPCs in the same style.

The forest area, and garden area, now have their own unique look (see the first 2screenshots in this post).

Colors were consolidated for many things. Lots of sprites used similar but different colors, making them all looks kinda off. Part of this is due to their graphics being made at different points in time, when palettes were different. In such cases, they now use the same colors.

Tall grass now covers May's feet when she walks through it (and slows her down too). This mechanic will be used to make some areas more difficult. Tall grass is harder to navigate. Areas that constantly change from tall to short grass will be even harder.

Next Steps

The current goal is to have an internal playtest with half the game's quests in a polished, complete-able stage. Current things on my mind for this:

Finish the scenes, NPCs, and maps needed for those quests (and the tutorial area too).

Add a nice-looking title screen. And reveal the game's name! 🥲

Add whatever other menus are needed.

And finally, music and sound effects. 😵 I haven't started on this yet (other than a blip-sound when text is displayed). This will probably take the longest...

Thank you for reading! I hope you have a great rest of your day!