#hopefully things are different :>
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Turbo Granny blunt rotation WIP
#for a class assignment due todayyyy#still gotta edit the fucking 600 word description yuck#and write another essay for a different class#and read another manga chapter for that class#and do makeup readings/hw for my mesoamerican art history class plus the readings/hw for this week#and i haven't been sleeping more than like 4 hrs a night cause i started a new medication#which also gives me evening heart palpitations lol#and im skipping class to finish as much as i can#but eventually ill clean this up and color it!#eventually#hopefully#next term i snagged a spot in the only 2D animation class this stupid college has ever had#and set up my schedule to only take up 3 days despite having 4 classes#and hopefully 2 of said classes will be pretty easy#ones a 1x a week gardening thing and the others an online design class#i wanted to leave lots of time to animate#dandadan#turbo granny#animation#fanart#dandadan fanart#character turnaround#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#trans artist#my art#my animations#krita#tw drugs
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mini comic about a kinda freaky terrible queen and the nonsensical takes she has about the times people have tried to kill her
(more thoughts in notes)
UP NEXT! ANOTHER short comic, (and then one more) this time taking place one month before the kings death, in which we will have: one annoying prince! one lousy fight scene! rejoice's dismissive nature! and row reveals a secret.... tune in next time for all that
#comic#webcomic#original comic#original character#ocs#alr bro it's not that funny#this is based on a true story that has happened to me#and continues to happen#this is NOT the main comic plot#just doing mini comics before working on the actual thing#to hopefully work towards a more final cohesive style#cus this is kind of all over the place but we live and we learn#anyways:#she just views things differently#nobody believes what u believe#interpt it as u want#shes just learning all the wrong lessons#the notes she's humming are to ding dong bell#which is a nursery ryhmes that teaches u to be kind to animals :)#unfortunately my genius wont show until the main comic is done#queen rejoice
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it’s impossible to get a good photo of it but i finished my dndads tattoo and i’m in love with it
#ramble#tattoo apprentice things#dndads#dungeons and daddies#the shading makes such a difference#hopefully the last time i have to tattoo myself for a while bc my skin has been through. so much akdjdjjd#it’s so much easier on other people
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A Christmas Carol AU
Inspired by a prompt found in the @haunting-heroes-creative-games :) (i.e. back on my shit again)
When a 15 year old Jason, pissed at Bruce for taking Robin away from him, finds his birth certificate he realizes Catherine Todd is not his real mother.
Just as he resolves to go out and search for his birth mother, Jason finds himself accosted by three ghosts in his room, talking about A Christmas Carol of all things.
===
"So, what? We're gonna Christmas Carol him?"
Dan scoffs, crossing his bulky arms with an unimpressed look. "We hated that movie."
"I didn't." Dani chirps, disturbingly cheery, "I didn't see it!"
"We hate Christmas," Danny corrects, "But the movie was alright, and the logic is sound."
"I don't hate Christmas," Dani once again interjects cheerily, "I've never participated!"
"Sound my ass," Dan growls over her, throwing his hands up. "We don't even know this guy!"
"Minor detail." Danny insists, "Tuck can look him up."
"He's a fucking Bat, Danny." Dan scrunches up his face, pinching the bridge of his nose just like Vlad does when he's disgruntled with any of Dad's shenanigans.
"He's a Robin, actually." Dani pipes in, "And he's just a kid. How hard is it gonna be to pretend to be this kid's Ghosts?"
"You're a kid," Dan reminds her, crossing his arms, "And you didn't believe me when I told you sticking a fork in the outlet would shock you."
"I believed you," Dani sniffs haughtily, crossing her arms and pointing her nose up with a snooty voice, "The warning simply did not deter me from doing it anyway."
"We don't have to convince him we're his Ghosts, or even that we knew him before," Danny reasons, needling, "We just have to convince him that we're…"
He hums, pointing at Dani. "Past."
He points at himself, "Present."
He points at Dan, "Future."
Dani does a little cheer, arms up and twirling into the air before landing with her legs over Dan's shoulders, hands and head settling atop Dan's fiery, but harmless, hair. It flickers, before going limp into long white strands that Dani messes up by gently scrunching up the strands and running her fingers through them.
Dan lets her, huffing and looking weirdly like a downtrodden, wet cat. "Why am I future?"
"Because." Danny doesn't continue, because he knows it makes Dan annoyed. True to form, his scowl gets worse, like sucking on a lemon. They all know why anyway.
Dani grins, triumphant and knowing, letting her voice go real deep, "The future," she intones into Dan's hair, "is here."
"The future is now," Danny corrects her, but doesn't lose his smile, floating up to tuck a strand of her hair back behind her ear.
"The future is already here," Dan mumbles his correction, or is it a follow-up? "It's just not evenly distributed."
"How about you distribute some of those muscles, Gibson," Danny sighs, shaking his head "Waiting for puberty is such a drag, and we both know you didn't get the mass from Vlad's side of the family."
Dan makes a moue of disgust, but it serves him right. The consequences of his own actions, and whatnot. He looks up at Dani, who simply shrugs. "I think you'll do great." She leans down to give him two pats on the arm.
"So how's acting out A Christmas Carol gonna help us stop this Jason guy from blowing up?" Dani fiddles with Dan's hair, tongue poking out as she attempts a braid, "Will he even see us? Ghosts in this dimension taste funny."
"He'll be able to see us, it's magically rich enough for some ghosts to maintain a semblance of themselves," Danny explains for the third time. Dani and Dan hum at different pitches, and even though Danny is the common denominator he kind of hates that Vlad has more of a lasting impression on them. "The ectoplasm here is scarce and mostly corrupted, though, so it's rare."
"So there's lotsa bad ghosts here?" Dani eyes the messy braid she's made, proud, even as Dan's silky hair immediately causes it to fall apart, "Or 'mentally unsound' or whatever Frostbite called it."
"No," Dan grumbles, annoyed and indulging all at once, "Corruption begets ecto-rot, but the scarcity means they're not strong enough to actually retain their sense of self enough to rot."
"Shades," Danny explains when Dani looks even more confused, "There's lots of shades."
"Is this one of the Olympian dimensions?" Dani groans, flopping over Dan's shoulder as he sits down on the sofa, "I love Pandora and all, but if I see Zeus again I'm gonna lose it."
"It's one of the hero dimensions," Danny hums, taking over braiding Dan's hair the way Jazz made him when they were little, "There's a couple of Amazons walking about, but on the whole no Olympians."
"I don't know why he didn't just dump me in a Norse dimension." Dan leans back and closes his eyes to their ministrations. "Especially with my current occupation."
The three of them are sitting in Dan's apartment, a large loft studio located somewhere in the UK of the aforementioned hero-dimension. Alber-something, Danny can't remember. Doesn't need to, it being a different dimension from his anyway.
Dan doesn't have a lot of things: a sofa and TV, a bed in the corner, a decent but small kitchen. They're still trying to figure out decorations, but Dan on the whole is a minimalist so it's been slow going.
He's working as a bartender these nights, whiling away his odd existence now that his form has stabilized.
And wasn't that a trip? Learning that hey, adult lightning halfas shouldn't really be mixed with teenage ice halfas, actually!
Apparently, ectoplasm can become corrupted if you try to combine incompatible sources.
Apparently, side effects include (but are not limited to) unmitigated violence and a devastating need for vengeance.
Sound familiar?
"This dimension has a lot of time continuity errors," Danny reminds him, "Dropping you here gave the least amount of pushback."
"Yeah, yeah," Dan flaps a lazy hand, "Praise be the speedforce and flashpoints and whatnot."
"Plus," Dani adds softly, absent-minded as she watches Danny finish up the braid, "Lotsa heroes to help out if you relapse."
Dan heaves a slow, controlled sigh. Danny and Dani both pretend they don't notice.
"Is it bad?" Dan doesn't open his eyes, his voice is so low Danny can only hear him by virtue of his ghost powers, "Like me levels bad?"
"No." Danny shakes his head, leaning into his older self, his older brother of sorts, "He decapitated eight crime lords, killed a couple of assassins, maybe an innocent or two depending on your definition of things."
"Past tense?" Dan scrunches his nose. They all hate how confusing Time Shenanigans are.
"He's living as Red Hood, right this very moment."
"Red Hood?" Dani questions, "That his hero name?"
"Crime lord alias." Danny corrects her, "But he's more of a vigilante these days. Has a bat on his chest and everything."
"But it's bad enough to warrant a trip to the past." Dan points out, "Bad enough for us to try and persuade him. Does he relapse?"
"Not…exactly." Danny scrunches his face, not wanting to explain Clockwork's ambiguity.
Dani floats to spread over Danny and Dan's laps, sprawling out and purring like a cat. Self-soothing, though it's more for their benefit than hers.
"Like Dani said, there’re lots of heroes here, and he doesn't have powers." Danny continues, petting at Dani's soft hair, "The world doesn't end. He doesn't have the means to, even with the ecto-rot."
Danny pauses, and chooses his words deliberately and carefully. "And deep down, Jason Todd is a hero through and through. Relapse would be…difficult. His Obsession is similar to yours."
Dan lets that sit for a moment, but nods, Danny moving a little with the motion. The tension slowly bleeds out as they wait like that, enjoying each other's company.
"If the world doesn't end," Dani whispers, "Why is Clockwork sending all of us?"
Danny thinks on that, on his meeting with Clockwork. The Ancient's voice when he explained what would happen.
He thinks about Jason Todd, about Bruce Wayne, and Catherine, and Sheila. He thinks about Batman, and Robin.
He thinks about Dick Grayson and Tim Drake, about Damian Al Ghul, about Cassandra Cain, and all of Jason's Outlaws.
He thinks about a tattered uniform that stays up in a glass case for a long, long time.
Most of all, he thinks about Dan.
He thinks about regrets and one bad day away.
And then he stops thinking about it, because sometimes the past is the past, and other times, it's the future that never happens that haunts you instead.
"You know, Dani." He settles on, "I'm not sure. He probably has his reasons."
Dan leans heavier onto him, and they lean together like that, with Dani in their laps.
Ghosts of decisions made, unmade, and never to be.
Follow the story on AO3 here!
#There will hopefully be another chapter release every day until Christmas#With an epilogue the day after!#Unless i get impatient or things happen and everything gets messed up#then ill just cry a little#but itll be out there eventually#back on my shit again#i watched the muppets a christmas carol threeish times for research#and watched a video essay on it rec'd to me by fen#and still it ended up being completely different from the actual movie#just like my haunted mansion au#history is repeating itself and im not sure i like it#danny phantom#my writing#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#rambling#danny fenton#dcu#jason todd#dani phantom#dan phantom#christmas carol AU
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finished isat and had to make some memes about it
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat mirabelle#isat loop#isat odile#isat isabeau#isat king#text post meme#I know there's already someone who makes a bunch of these so hopefully these ones are different#I have so many text posts sitting around bc of blaseball and I want to use them for other things too#also ok I have not completely properly finished it bc I still have stuff to do in act 6. but I have finished Most Of It#honestly my new favourite game of all time I think#I will inevitably make more of these#in stars and textposts
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skilltober: pain threshold
#hopefully the masochism thing gets across lol this guy is only capable of self impalement#the protrusion things kinda being woven in between the serratus anterior is so cool i grinned a lot#sorry this is like so different from my usual stuff lmfao#disco elysium#disco elysium skills#de pain threshold#my artwork#skilltober#skilltober 2024#tw body horror#tw gore
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hmmm probs won't go with this style but we'll see
#but was still nice to have it out of my brain? will post more about this in a couple months or something haha#sketchbook stuff#artists on tumblr#working on some tHINGS#insert eyes emoji#would love to do the sketchy loose lines though#bless you clip studio paint for having really nice inking brushes#also in a rare event the family dog is sleeping on my bed :'D#long time no art post mdfkhdfhg don't mind me doing 5 different things at the same time#oH I did recently finish a rug hook commission which was really cool#will hopefully post that very soon
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Almost
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#zutara fanart#Wip#First page of three is done!!!#Won't be sharing until I have the whole thing but I'm. So. Close!!!!!!!#It's been ages since I started this project omg#But it's worth it#Hopefully I'll get the chance to finish it tomorrow... Won't be making any promises tho#I've missed you guys and I can't wait to share this with you#Anyways I know it's ZK month (and all the content has been WONDERFUL so far) but I won't be participating. Sorry about that.#Working with prompts is such an amazing creative exercise but I know myself good enough to be certain that I'll never get past the first...#... prompt without coming up with seven different AUs and I can't deal with more of those right now lol#Like I've got this Blue Spirit! Katara and Painted Lady! Zuko AU on the works since last week or so. And more lore for the og BS/PL spirits#And also this S3 canon divergence AU... And another one... And another one...#And I need to work on them at my own rhythm otherwise I'll go nuts#So uh#Yeah#Love u all and I hope I'll get to share this one soon (if only to start on yet another comic. I've got ideas for two of them. Yay)#Dema out#(Sorry for the rambling I'm just anxious)#(Don't know why but I stopped caring a long time ago)
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Another @linkeduniverse panel redraw!
@bluevaractyl, sorry this took so long!!
Version without the text and also the og panel under the cut :)
Tbh the main reason this took so long was because out of all the panels you sent me I accidentally chose the one with rather complex hands 🤦♀️
I have a whole new level of respect for Jojo now XD
#This was so fun though#I have like one or two more panel redraws and hopefully I’ll be quicker about them lol#my art#art#linked universe#lu#linked universe fanart#linkeduniverse#lu four#lu wild#asks and such#Lu fanart#linked universe four#four linked universe#wild linked universe#linked universe wild#comic panel redraw#panel redraw#lu panel redraw#sorry about my handwriting btw XD#Ok but can I just say Wild’s color scheme is like the best thing ever#It makes me very happy#Also I colored four and wild about 3 weeks apart and I feel like there’s a difference :(
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visit
#kylux#kylo ren#armitage hux#still learning their faces... augh...#didnt draw their gloves simply bc i missed shading hands i apologise orz#one thing i am struggling with but find very interesting#is how drawing kylo it seems he is made of all these harsh dark lines#with very high contrast#vs hux who has much less contrast and looks weird w heavy dark lines#so it's hard to bridge the gap stylistically between the two of them#hopefully i will figure it out...#BUT it is a very enticing difference#my art#also since im late to the actual game of making kylux art i will probably be retreading sooo much ground#🫡 nothing i can do about it... bc i want to retread classics....
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i love...wanpee...........🍊🍶🧡💚
#one piece#nami#zoro#one piece live action#opla#my art#alternate caption: dum dum fruit#im so happy that more and more people are getting into op it truly is the series that keeps on giving#op is a series easily misunderstood by its art style and goofiness but at its core are themes about abuse of power. its so well written#AND IM SO HAPPY I FINALLY HAVE TIME TO DRAW FANART FOR FUN AND NOT FOR LIKE. A CON OR STH AND WORRY IF MY ART IS “SELLABLE” OR “MARKETABLE”#*checks watch* apparently i havent drawn fanart for fun since december so thats like. 9 months#i had the biggest difficulty with this drawing#i actually drew this first in a lineless style. i attempted it lineless TWICE. with 2 diff brush sets/techniques#then i lined it and i was like hmm . i dont like this its too stiff#so i tried it with a lighter hand and im like !!! it clicks#i honestly do think im pretty rusty and bc of not drawing for fun in a while i dont really know what#to do with my art style direction as of late#so i may try a bunch of different things. and i hope people enjoy em regardless!#ill try to do a screencap redraw every few days this is really fun#i also havent had time for video games in months so im also relieved ill have time for more games n game fanart hopefully
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In honour of this maniac’s birthday, here’s one of my favorite anecdotes, via Passages From The Life Of A Naval Officer, Etc by Edward Philips Charlewood
(Illustration inspired by this)
#james fitzjames#edward charlewood#edward philips charlewood#og jfj#historical james fitzjames#james fitzjames fanart#historical jfj#the terror fanart#the terror adjacent#passages from the life of a naval officer etc#my drawings#thank you @clockheartedcrocodile for the wonderful idea <3#sometime i have GOT to draw the whole thing#og james fitzjames#every time i draw this guy he looks different#hopefully that means i’m getting better#:/#—also—#first time drawing charlewood!!!#i love that guy#not sure if it looks much like him but it’s my first try so i’ll give it a pass#and i highly recommend you read his memoir#it’s so short and so entertaining
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he has that sadness in his eyes that you only see in eastern european gay porn
#— within chaos : suicide squad#joker#ssktjl#suicide squad kill the justice league#this was all i got from the clips i saw#and i mean it was the only thing i payed attention to#like yay new content but it really isnt anything different#also we rescue joker???? why is he kept alive in the first place but everyone else in the squad is dead#hopefully they have something planned that makes sense and isnt half asses
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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Laios Touden and autism; admiring the non-human
Do you think people exaggerate when they scream about Laios being autistic? Do you feel like it’s weird that so many people including autistics are so set on Laios, the problematic (but incredible and kind) king TM, being the most autistic that has ever autisticed? Why do we cheer on autistic people wanting to be monsters?? Isn’t that weird?
Well, of course it depends on the way it’s done, it can be done quite offensively, but long story short Kui blew it out of the park. The thing is, autistic people really do like monsters and animals and robots. Nonhuman does not mean subhuman, it just means Other. Feeling a connection with them has been shown to be an extremely common autistic experience for that very reason.
Because some people don’t understand why we autistic Tumblr Laios stans cheer “autism! Autism!” whenever he talks about monsters and feeling alienated to humans so! Here’s a post about how yes even research papers are analyzing the special connection we form with animals. I’m not even joking but Laios Touden & the mass cries of relatability with autistic people he gets and all the love for him could be used as study material and evidence for future papers because the link is that strong. Oh also I think it’s notable that being autistic and undiagnosed vs diagnosed makes a huge difference. In my experience as someone who was undiagnosed up until 18, it’s even more alienating to not know that there’s a reason why you’re different, being gaslit that you’re ‘normal’ and you just need to try harder and get with the program, etc. Personally when getting diagnosed I went through the 5 stages of grief because the thought of having been fundamentally different all your life (a difference which you will never be able to change) and mistreated for it when you weren’t “wrong” all along makes you unload all the anger and sadness and loneliness and sheer trauma you’ve built up over time. Like it’s world shattering.
So! Back to seeing dogs as family. Also I implore you to value experiential evidence when it comes to autism and other neurodivergences because brains are complicated and neurotypicals not being able to understand us well even with scientific research is like, a whole thing even though we’re right there speaking about how we feel and being right every time because the topic is literally us and how we experience the world.
Disclaimer for this whole post that, of course, no group is a monolith and everyone has different experiences or can diverge from the norm of the group, and that doesn’t diminish the validity of either side! Like, I know autistic people who have trauma with dogs and hate them. But, trends do happen, and in this case... Autism is very “My experiences with humans make me feel dehumanized in a bad and lonely way so instead I’ll dehumanize myself in a good and inspiring way”.
“I was treated like a failed human my entire life and you’re surprised that my response was to become a dog.” -Patricia Taxxon
It’s literally well recorded that autistic people relate to animals more than humans globally. With this post, besides spreading autistic Laios truthism and explaining why the portrayal hits so deep for so many, I want to show in what way this is a very specific experience and not looking at his character through an autistic lense really misses a lot of why he’s everything that he is. (Tacking allegedly onto here for legal reasons, different interpretations are valid etc etc /gen). This honestly isn’t super long though.
To define an important term, anthropomorphism in the studies and in this post means to attribute human traits to the nonhuman, which not only includes anthro furry designs but also animals irl, inanimate objects, and animated media as opposed to live action, to humanize them and empathize with them.
Paper: https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/aut.2019.0027
“Dogs taught me how to hunt and socialize and work in groups”, Laios having internalized body language... So real so real. I, too, make a great dog impression. And I want to emphase the part that it helps greatly develop a sense of emotions and relationships! For Laios, he didn’t get along with kids his age, it was him, Falin and the dogs against the world. Since it’s a group of dogs too, it taught him group dynamics and social hierarchies (like with Falin being considered as being below the dogs in authority according to the dogs rip), and the importance of group coordination when hunting.
For me, I cannot like, concisely explain just how much animals were important to me developmentally. I also grew up with dogs, but like I vividly remember encounters with like hamsters as well just radically shaping my understanding of boundaries, the importance of giving something space and the way you interact with them and respect their side of it. Unlike humans they don’t really mask how they feel, it’s direct cause-effect reaction and data gathering. There are no words involved, so the focus on having a perfect phrasing and tone is gone, leaving just pure interactions.
There’s also no reason to mask how you feel either, and you don’t have to feel silly over wanting to form a connection and it showing, what, is the dog gonna laugh at you because you obviously want to make friends with it? Toshiro or Kabru might, but dogs and cats will just tell you to fuck off and leave it there worst case scenario. I often say that I think one reason Marcille is special to Laios and he feels comfortable around her is because she emotes INTENSELY, she gestures, she puts her whole body into it, her facial expressions are pretty exaggerated and her ears even emote too- like with a dog’s ears!
I think there’s def also things to be said about how he gravitated towards Izutsumi at first, all excited, was eager to sleep in the same bed as her, but in the Izutsumi sleep rating chart we see they really just casual and chill so it’s not a Laios talking to Shuro deep into the night situation just a “I like sleeping besides animals” situation and that is enough to hype him up. I love how he pet her in the extra about why Chil let her sleep with him too. He’s just so transparently eager to befriend her, even if in the end they weren’t all that compatible and he accepted that.
There are honestly so many examples I could give for this. Like Grandin the famous cow lady.
More about autism & empathy:
https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/double-empathy-explained/ (Also mentions a study in which groups of autistic, allistic then a mixed group played a game of telephone and both singular groups had similar levels of information retention, but the mixed group was significantly worse. As an autistic person yeah duh, obviously autistic people are different from one another and can have plenty of interpersonal issues, but communicating with other neurodivergent people feels pretty intuitive and straightforward and comfortable. One of the reasons why neurodivergent people tend to naturally gravitate towards each other I suppose.)
^ Paper: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5932358/ For good, extensive summary of why we relate to animals so much you can go to the “anthromorphizing and asd” section of the paper. This paper extends to our widespread liking of cartoons and robots as well. Ok so this is a whole thing I won’t get into here but this is a big reason why a lot of autistic people are agender leaning as well. Genders and queerness in general is a lot about social constructs, and being queer is being marginal to these, not fitting into boxes or challenging those social norms and conventions. Queerplatonic relationships are a great example of this, where the framework of the relationship is platonic but the intangible nature of what it is exactly is the point, not familial not anything but everything at once too, just adoration, I like to say having pets is a bit like it as well, bc obvi it’s not romantic and often not fully familial, very platonic but also sooo much cuddling and adoration and kissing and whatnot that you wouldn’t typically do with a friend or family member. I’ll talk about qpr and labels another day though.
I got carried away but queerness in Dunmeshi is something I 100% want to make a big post on one day. Experiencing the world with different guidelines and not registering things to have the same boxes, sigh. Personally I also relate to Laios on a gender level, “cis by default because I don’t care all that much but if I were to dig deeper I’m probably otherkin and I want to be socially associated with traits of monsters and animalistic rather than man/woman” sighh hard to be a cryptid in this day and age. I wish we had a term like furry but for monsters, I want to be in the fantasy or folk tale genre ty, like changelings. Goshh changelings... You know, the irl myth where people said their neurodivergent kids were fairies’ children instead of human. Diminished physical sense of self means I see myself as some unknowable black void aesthetic wise, but like in a way that simultaneously makes me feel seen. Like becoming a monster, losing your sense of self but also somehow just being simplified and seen for what you are, it’s weird to try and explain. This post is more about relating to the nonhuman than about seeing yourself as such, but like connect the dots right, that IS an important point of Laios’ character. It’s because our brains literally work different than allistics which makes us feel as other, but also because of social ostracization and functioning in a different way than society at large, living in the margin of society, being weird and non-conforming.
Meanwhile, animals and social norms... Like ok, showing your neck and rolling on the ground to show that you’re friendly and harmless and play biting might not be proper. But have you considered that it’s also fun and feels very intuitive. Play with a dog in the dog’s way I promise it is so nice and freeing. Play tug of war and growl back when they growl. Hiss at your cat to tell them they do something wrong, engage with them on their level.
Autism made social life hard, but it made animals easy. Do you have anyyy idea how good it feels to mask all day every day and feel constantly misunderstood or like you’re doing a performance but then you can just, drop all of that in the company of animals and they understand you. They understand you. You form an understanding and rapport so easily.
And this whole thing with Laios is so explicit too, with the Winged Lion saying “You’re sick and tired of the human world”. Notice the choice of words. Sick and tired of the human world. Exhausted from the constraints, sick of the mind games. It really isn’t as much about loving monsters as it is about loving the nonhuman. Relating to them because you feel that you can actually understand how they work and think, and feeling like they could understand you back as well. Animals are safe.
Like I could go on about how Laios admiring even just demi-humans like orcs is because they’re socially seen as non-humans more than any true physical thing, that they’re not bound by human society and its rules and live with their own lifestyle. But it would deal myself 1000 points of psychic damage and I am not ready to cry today. It’s idealization 100%, and like, Laios DOES want to be treated as human, to be valued, but it feels like an unreachable thing meanwhile becoming a monster is instant gratification and freedom and a sense that now no one will be able to hurt you in a way that reaches you, never again shall you be defenseless, and then if people dehumanize you then that only strengthens your sense of identity as a monster and UGHH ugh ugh.
And like. This post is a mess at this point but if you want to kinda delve into the more “why” then I recommend this Patricia Taxxon video essay. It starts out on a very different topic, but it’s all about autism and finding comfort in the inhuman. Long story short is othering made us like this also animals are just simpler to intuitively get along with.
So when I post this
I mean it. I really mean it when I say he’s me. I have never felt so seen. So many conflicting emotions all wrapped so concisely yet so intangibly woven into the whole storyline so subtly.
Not being depicted as a monster of an human being for feeling/having felt that way?? The manga understands you. The world can understand you. Other humans can understand you. You can bond with them. You can. And I think that’s a big part of Dungeon Meshi too- Laios opening up to others about how he really is and his interests, and all the bumps on the way but how it was the only way to truly get to know each other and bond. With the climax being Laios confronting head on his complex with monsters and humans, and his monster-loving side and animalistic side being exactly what saves the whole world, what saves humanity. Because Laios does value his friends, does think humanity has beautiful sides to it, he wants to help it thrive and eat and become more accepting, carving out a kingdom for misfits and demi-humans. At the end of it, transforming into a monster and being free is a daydream fantasy, and the reality of it is that Laios does belong in the world as he is, and does receive and give out love.
If you enjoyed this you’ll probably like some of my other Laios analysis! Here’s an analysis of his succubus and what it says about his relationships with other humans. And here’s an analysis about his relationship with Shuro from his perspective.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#laios touden#character analysis#i guess#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#spoilers#autistic laios touden#asd#autism representation#meta#draft so old it uses the old Tumblr post editor#it would be much better if i could put them side to side rip#i also wanna do an analysis trying to pin down his level of social awareness#i love that the monster story epic saga about misfits and your place in the world on an ecosystem level is just sooo autistic so perfect#this post has a weird structure but hopefully it can showcase some things and make ppl understand and others relate! I know we're out there#hiii therians how we feeling today. Brain chemistry is weird but ours is just wired different not broken#feeling self-conscious bc even with studies this is the equivalent of going 'trust me bro I get it' which usually doesn't go well with us#Humanity is beautiful <3333 Humans are social animals broski love yourself!!!
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