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its really difficult for me to open up about things, ESPECIALLY things that could be really harmful (parents, mental health) if unchecked, do u have any advice?
genuinely i am so sorry i dont have any solid advice for you :(
umm lightheardedly tho
whooaaa dude same eyyyyy
#marble asks#um#lil#thing in the tags#hmm how do i phrase this in a way that wont get me in trouble#uhhhhhhhhhh please proceed with caution#hopefully the tags cut off#right about here somewhere???#that means you dont have to look at this#yea um recently ive been in a really bad place mentally :( and im really not sure why#i think? ive been getting ok sleep and my friends are really nice about it but i dont really want to talk to them about it bc it feels too#personal? idk anyway#uhh my intrusive thoughts have been getting REALLY bad outta nowhere#like#relating to sh :(((#and i cant really talk to anyone bc theyll like tell my parents bc “im a danger to myself” or something#uhm anyways its like#stuff like that im kinda dealing with rn too#soo i guess i feel ya :(#maybe if you can.. try talking to someone you trust?#a therapist if you have one. or a close friend or adult idk#if you really wanted i guess you could send me asks#even tho we're just strangers on the internet#sometimes it helps just to talk to someone and know youre not alone#ok the tags cut off a couple of times and i dont want to make this too long#but i believe in you! you will do great things. have a lovely day/night <3
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oh yeah i forgot to post this here too
#can you believe this is the first time im drawing actual drone nori and not cori#hopefully you cant cause it is#i think im Getting A Grip on my artstyle again#hopefully#headcanon nori never got her right glove back after getting it cut off so she only has the left one#its small but let me have this#she is a gamer. and she respawned. perfect#not as intricate as my other posts but im tired and dont have many ideas bite me#art#murder drones#murder drones nori#yeah thats about it for relevant tags i think
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Synchronicity - Kaiju No.8 comic Kikoru and 4 talk about dreams.
Inspired by @izfaish's fic. archiveofourown.org/works/55577173
#kaiju no. 8#kaiju no 8 manga spoilers#kaiju no. 8 spoilers#kn8#kn8 manga spoilers#kn8 spoilers#kikoru shinomiya#soshiro hoshina#no. 4#no. 10#anyways#HOPEFULLY THATS ENOUGH TAGS#ITS FINALLY DONEE#i was like hey im workin on this long ass comic but hwat if i did a quick one#as a break#it was not a break#this comic also took for fuckign ever#but yEAH I HAVE#SHINOMIUYAS BRAINROT#this is also connected to the hikari comic.#but YEAGHGH.#I LOVE. thEm.#this family is a living disaster i love them#kikoru n 4 talk about terrible terrible dreams that can never be reached.#(and the ways they both have kind of. accepted a compromised version of each of their dreams. new versions. acheivable versions)#I WANTED TO ADD MORE BUT I PROMISED ID KEEP IT TO 6 MAX#SO I CUT IT OFF#LOOK I DID IT#i kept to my promises tm#comic
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@fenglianweek day 6: memories/growing up
the best thing thats ever been mine
#tgcf#xie lian#feng xin#fenglian#fenglianweek24#my art#full color#I SPENT SOOO LONG ON THIS ONE... like not long for me. fast for me! but compared to the other ones ive done for flw. long.#this has been a few weeks of work and im very happy with how it turned out! tried to be thoughtful about how i approached the colors#and i think it really paid off! theres SO MANY COLORS in the pants im so proud of all the fabric in this...#that white fabric has so. many colors. it makes me super happy#also some of the fallen petals make hearts. btw >:o)#idk if they translate well but feng xin has top surgery scars!!! theyre both trans but xie lian is a cultivator so. he just uses magic#i KNOW when he first learned transformation magic he like BOOKED IT to feng xin to show him like 'LOOK. FLAT!!!'#and little teenxin was like 'ummm 😳 yeah. flat'#ANYWAY!!! idk if they actually look like teens here... hopefully yes. xie lian does to me at least???#or at least he looks different from how i draw him as an 800smthng year old lol. but still like himself i think!!! i hope...#whatever. point is. do you remember we were sitting there by the water. you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of#the tags cut me off there. thats a good thing. IF YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW.#did you guys know i have headcanons about the type of tswift fans mu qing and xie lian would be. well now you know. I Have Thoughts#OKAY THATS ENOUGH TAGS I NEED TO ACTUALLY POST THIS. ILY MUAH TTYL
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Woooooooooooooo Steamworld Heist 2 Woooooooooooooooooooooo
#Steamworld#Steamworld Heist 2#I won't be posting any art that I consider spoilers for at least 2 weeks but this is based on information that's available pretty early#But for right now I'm posting my big comments a bit earlier so that the character tags hopefully get cut off early#Piper Faraday#Fen Steamworld#art#digital art#Fan art#Clip Studio Paint
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yeah pmd2 hero getting turned into a little animal and not having any of their memories but also....what if they didnt just assume this strange colorful world they woke up in was normal....if they woke up near moving water. drifting bubbles. the sinking sun. and is freaked out bc this is all so foreign to them. but they dont know WHY its so...different? hero watching the sunset and getting kind of anxious as they see the world around them get darker. until they see the stars and moon....which gives them even more questions...
but they start thinking of it like its normal, even if they still squint in bright light. and sometimes ask questions that partner feels like even most small children would know....but as time goes on hero gets used to their surroundings more...
so when dusknoir is in treasure town telling everyone what will supposedly happen if grovyle is successful. how in the future no winds blow. the day doesnt come. the seasons dont change...a world of unrelenting darkness...it all feels. painfully familiar to hero...
#pmd tag#cutting myself off there. ill just go on forever if i dont.#again. im not good at explaining my thoughts. but hopefully this is like. fine. idk.#i feel like ive made a similar post about this but. i cant find it so..
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A quick small piece of vent art.
Avoid the tags,I am putting all the Blegh stuff there. Things are rough right now and have been for multiple weeks….but I am holding on. I’m going to try and do sketches for the rest of the people I want to hit for art fight. I’m going to catch up on my work and keep doing well. I’m going to have a good weekend with my partner. I’m going to be ok. It is going to be ok.
#my art#vent art#avoid the tags I am putting things here#tw:trauma#tw:murder#tw:suicide#tw: mental health#tw:death#tw: vent#I hope that covers most of it#hopefully tumblr should cut it off#it’s just been a really really rough past few weeks#from my family basically bailing on me for my own wedding#and then getting mad at me when i got upset#and being mad i set boundaries after years of abuse#work was so rough and the burn out has been insane#I’ve felt so disconnected from my friends#it’s been my entire life but I struggle with feeling like I matter to anyone#the anniversary of the homicide is coming up and I’ve been really struggling this year#the nightmares are back#tw: ptsd#forgot that one#I’ve been so jumpy and unfocused#I had to step back from Art fight and I’m feeling so frustrated by that#I want to challenge myself and give back to the community#then our damn ac went out so another giant bill#and amid the heat a phone call that turned into#me spending the past few days in the er while my mom was on suicide watch#I’m so tired#at least she finally agreed to go inpatient so a small win
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no yeah i really love how every core 4 member got a real happy ending....except for ej
nini is happily pursuing music in la with her moms' full support
ricky is dating gina, a girl he calls "home". he's finally becoming more at peace with love and how to show it. he's learned how to not run from his problems. his parents are getting back together (???) and his drama teacher wrote such a good letter of recommendation that he was accepted into a community college
gina becomes a literal movie star and was able to change the filming location of her second movie, without any consequences, to salt lake so she can physically be with ricky, the boy she finally got to date after crushing on him since the day they met. she has a permanent home to call her own now. her mom finally showed up to an opening night and she was finally able to portray gabriella
and then ej...is alone (in a wildcat sense) at college, financially cut off from his family, working multiple jobs to afford it. he spends most of his season 4 screentime guiding and helping others (ricky, gina, miss jenn, madlyn) instead of an actual storyline and a lot of his lines were about how he's made mistakes and has to live with them
#um...ignore how nini has a singular sentence#but anyway#ej says that he's happy but compared to every other important character nothing happy happens to him#obviously you can be at peace with/like a less than perfect situation#but that doesn't make the situation good or that you don't deserve more than that#he's literally cousins with ashlyn#he has a connection to a main character and yet we hear nothing about how he's doing until admissions#hell his first mention in the season is terri talking bad about him to gina#and before someone says 'well he graduated already and this is about the students of east high so-'#lily was at east high for all of five minutes and she got plotlines INCLUDING dating one of the main characters#dewey freakin wood got an appearance in s4 when we're no longer at the camp...#jenn mike lynne and ben all have extensive storylines and they're adults#(and mike and lynne don't even work at east high like jennzzara! they're just ricky's parents !)#channing (someone who really didn't need to be such a big character) had a whole storyline in s3#even jarred had a storyline in s4 !!! AND HE WAS A STALKER !!!#can you tell i'm pissed#probably missed some things i'm going off of memory and rage#and it just seems like a poor writing choice to do nothing with ej until ep 5 when he was still dealing with his dad when s3 ended#<- something that could've been made into a storyline !! instead of just throwing it at us that ej was cut off#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series#ej caswell#nini salazar roberts#ricky bowen#gina porter#okay i regularly call them the core 4 so i think i've tricked myself into thinking other ppl do too...#tags are not as neat as i want them to be the thoughts just kinda spilled out but hopefully this all makes sense
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completed my sophomore year of college :-) (and now im gonna sleep for the next 2374039475347 years)
#meandering#HI GUYS SO SORRY FOR GOING SUPER AWOL longtime followers will know this is usual for me HAHA#first semester where i end things off with all a's :-) safe to say changing my major to art was the right choice#(what was it before?) bio HAHAHA im not super cut out for it which is unfortunate given my love for biology but thats okay#i hope u are all doing well!!! hopefully i can get back to drawing as usual#things have been very busy as of late but now that im on break i will Not be as busy which is cool#i am currently drawing spottedleaf as a request from a friend just to get back into the swing of things so keep an eye out for that#and for the folks who read my tags if yall wanna make a request for me to draw a warrior cat u may do so ^_^ i wont answer them but i will#hopefully see them and get to them and i'll just use them as practice to get back into the swing of things#but i will not change my requests are closed thing HAHA but thats ok bc if u read these tags u know u can do so
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Summerfest Day 6 - MIRROR (part one)
this is the first excerpt of a longer piece. I'll post the complete story on the free day on the 19th :)
In the cave underneath the derelict white-stone ruin, just as they were told, there is a tree.
It’s not all that impressive, even by a tree’s standards. It’s big, granted, with sprawling roots, half set into the wall of the cavern and threading itself along and into the low ceiling; thorny brambles, or an approximation of them, have sprung up from the crooks of its base, and here and there it sprouts bouquets of dry leaves. It looks half dead – or at least, not really alive in the way trees are supposed to be, though nothing ever is, here. As sources of apparently mythically powerful wood go, it’s gnarled, sad-looking – altogether pretty underwhelming.
It's also growing firmly out of the far end of a dank little pond that spans the whole width of the cave, because even with the Mad God gone somewhere beyond reaching, its world still revels in tormenting them.
Pax sighs and drops their main pack on the spongy earth in the entryway, leaves it sagging there, half-empty. No point risking dropping it in the water, even if there’s not much in it worth saving. You move quicker if you pack light; you move quicker still if you take shortcuts, and Pax has gotten adept enough at going by the off-road wilds that she only really has to pack for the populated places. (The wild Isles have plenty to eat in them, it seems, and apparently love to share, because her pack is never any lighter going out than in and yet she’s never hungry when she comes back. Sometimes the food is spoiled, though. Not much loss – everything here is atrocious.) The cave – it, like the tree, had some pretentious name, but they’ve forgotten both – is small and cramped, lit only by the faint stripes of lichen crawling along the walls, reflecting faintly off the surface of the water, dark as ink. Besides the tree and the sludgy-looking pool, there’s not much there to look at. Pax takes one step forward, and then stops; stands still, arms loose, bow still in its case slung over his shoulder, and waits for the catch. (There’s always a catch.)
Nothing happens.
He wrinkles his nose – holds still a moment longer – gives in, and pads over to the pond, earth squashing under his shoes. Gumming up the studs in the soles. It doesn’t smell like anything – the cave or the pond or the mud or anything – which is weird, but things being weird can’t really be a cause for alarm anymore, and haven’t been since they came in months ago. Pax reaches down and balances on one foot to pull a shoe off; puts the foot back down, and, fuck, he forgot about the stockings and now there’s mud seeping through the webby fabric sticking to his legs. Whatever. Who fucking cares. He takes the other shoe off, too, and hangs them both from crooked fingers, standing at the edge of the pond.
Fuck, she’ll have to change the stockings after this or be wet all day.
(Boo-hoo, she’ll be uncomfortable. Shut up.)
And still nothing happens. It’s less terrible than it could be, and that is too good to be true. Normally something would be trying to kill her by now. But there’s a time crunch she’s working under, and standing around looking at ugly trees waiting for the other shoe to drop gets no-one anywhere. The shithead library man said they needed a stick, so a stick they’re fucking getting, however little they believe it could be as easy as taking it.
Pax exhales again, the sound jarringly harsh in this empty, half-dead cavern, and they step into the pond –
Their foot breaks the surface and then keeps going – hard to see with only the lichen-light but they’d thought it was shallow water – a bit too late to course-correct now, their centre of gravity has already shifted past where they can reach. There’s not so much as a splash; they are submerged and sinking and rising all at once, and then –
And then Pax is catching themself stumbling over dry, spongy soil, and the cavern walls are jagged bare, and they are not alone.
They look up to meet each other’s eyes.
(Across the now-empty floor, not a pool of water in sight, is something wearing Pax’s shape; ahead, the tree is gone.)
“Who the fuck are you?” the other one demands – which is some fucking nerve, and not a question they have any right to ask, but it does give him pause. Pax is no stranger to seeing his own face on someone else; it was one of Sheogorath’s favourite party tricks, even after he acquiesced to its incessant badgering and came close enough for it to talk to him in person instead of just through grubby mirrors and wobbling reflections in the surface of the Niben, and from the beginning to the end it could never mimic him properly. The lines of his face it could do, sure – the fall of his hair, the stains on his clothes – but it always gave itself away in the posture, in the expressions, in the quality of the voice. There was always something off or strange, his face incongruous with his motions. It wore him like a second-hand coat it hadn’t gotten around to altering. This, though – this is different, unsettling, in a way that scratches against his spine. This is familiar.
She said exactly what they would’ve.
“You’re not Sheogorath,” they say, slow, and Pax pauses.
(It was the Grove of Reflection. Pompous bloody name. More literal, maybe, than the library man had made it sound.)
They look back at the place where the tree was meant to be – where it isn’t, now, the whole world veering in towards its absence – and they grit out, “Oh, bloody hell, seriously?”
“What,” says Pax, with no small edge of resentment, “it’s not like you thought it could be easy.” The pair of shoes are heavy in her hand; she leans over to shove them back onto her feet. Her stockings are dry, now. Dusty. Whatever. Gift horses and mouths and all, even if it’s a pretty shitty fucking gift.
“What do we do now?” Face the truth, according to the asshole back in the echo of the library, if Pax has remembered his words correctly, but that’s just about less helpful than nothing. The tree will give them a stick after it shows them who they really are, or whatever other bullshit. Like they don’t already know who they are. They live as themselves every day.
More inane trials, then. Fucking whoopee. One would think, when the Lord of the realm is dead and soon to return in a less-than-friendly state of mind, the fire and the ritual and the trap and the Gatekeeper and every-fucking-thing else would suffice as enough.
(All hell, they hate the Shivering Isles. This place eats you alive.)
(Still better than Cyrodiil. At least the Isles relishes your taste. But it’s a fine bloody line, sometimes.)
Pax follows suit and steps back into their shoes, scattering dust over the leather toe.
And then they’re both just standing there, on empty dirt where the pond once was, and the tree is fully gone. And all of this is completely mad, obviously, but if that was going to worry them then they would have turned back months ago.
“You look like shit,” Pax says, because he does.
He looks back, flat-eyed, and says, “You don’t say.”
(He really, really does – hollows under his eyes purple as bruise, fringe uneven, face thin-sharp and distant. His clothes and leathers are stained with dirt and sweat and probably some blood, somewhere, and all of them hang strangely on him – the showy tailored garments foisted on him with the duchy were too much trouble to bring, so they’ve stuck with basics. Stockings with tears in them. Scabbed hands, the spiked bone of their knucks rubbing calluses into their skin. Their hair is halfway undone. Sheogorath in their skin always looked eccentric, ephemeral, not quite there; but Pax looks at this flesh-and-bone doppelganger tonguing the gap in her teeth and flexes their aching hands.)
(This is going to be bad, isn’t it.)
#hard to find a good place to cut off! but I managed ! I think !#honestly I have no idea if this one is good I have read the whole thing to edit it TOO MANY TIMES. hopefully it works#hopefully it does what I'm trying to make it do#it might be nonsense to everyone but me! who knows! who cares! I had fun with it regardless#everyone get excited for fucked up nonsense adventures in the pond anyway. please and thank you#tesfest24#the elder scrolls#tesblr#tes#oblivion#oc tag#pax#(x2!!!)#my writing#fay writes
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Hey-lo, I totally didn't mean to ignore this; it's just that reading your message gave me some much needed spark of inspiration to push through one of the...lower-energy moments of the story at last, ahaha! And because most of the rest of story is...actually already basically written...the next update won't be as drastic of a wait ^^;
That being said, I can assure you that all of your questions will be addressed, and as a matter of fact, some of them are answered in this brand new sparkling chapter!
#maybe you *should* have sent it sooner lol#i'm kidding it came at just the right time#it just took ME forever to address it#but hopefully the new update will help answer at least some of your questions#i had to cut it off though because it was getting too long augh#i'm following my outline to a t and yet i still can't keep my chapters nice and tidy lmfao#oh well that's creative whims for ya#info tag#royal!legacy au
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HM. MIRABELLE?
#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#(in the tags)#so after loop told me not to bother with giving mira the bow again i was like: okay i shld give her the bow again#i spent a loop checking every single rollback spot and it was really interesting#but scarily i was in a dead-end checking that paper where you tell a story about running away from home#but there was a rollback. and *i* forgot what i was talking about. and everyone kind of laughed it off but... that's really concerning#okay so basically after all that happened i reset to town and gave mirabelle the bow again. and instead of being able to move on#past the skip. she kind of became aware that something was wrong? and her expressions oh my gof#pointing out the bow she already had made her slot back into normalcy but. aack#i'm concerned and very excited to see what's going on. hopefully i'll be able to cut through the third floor on my next loop#( know abt the 2nd floor key now)#and then we'll see what happens when i fight the king if he's what's up there#i Really wanna know what isa has to say to me (gay heart praying for a confession-)#odile noticed smth strange too once. i'm wondering maybe if there's a way for her to pick up on what's going on frm within the loop#(she's very very smart + i love her)
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ROUND 1a BRACKET
it is completed. The matches on the far outsides will be competing first, in 24 hr polls before they move on to go against the competitors on the inner brackets.
Round 1a polls will be posted SATURDAY JULY 15 (probably like 1pm pst or something), and Round 1b polls will be posted probably a couple days after that.
Propaganda is allowed and FULLY encouraged. rip each other to shreds.
#gonna talk abt the seeding process in tags lol#ok so i didnt do formal seeding bc.... i have no idea how with this shit.#but i started by putting the 4 eps that made the cut in the 4 corners and faced them off against their own band (mostly)#then i filled the rest of the outsiders with artists who only had one release or ones that are generally less well known/liked (cough. patd#the inners were a lot tougher. im not even that happy with how all the seeding ended up but i tried to make it as fair as i possibly could#as well as tried to stick to the idea of high scorers vs low scorers and then middle scorers vs middles. Again didnt ALL work but i tried#i also am not familiar with four year strong at all so i based their seedings off of how their albums charted. hopefully its fair enough#potential 1a winners were considered when placing 1b ones in the spots where theyd face one off#i will not lie at all and say that my bias for certain albums is evident in this seeding. I am also not sorry#anyways. Any more questions or thoughts you can always send an ask ^_^#not poll#decaydance
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How we feeling Splatoon fandom
#splatoon 3#splatoon#pearl#marina#shiver#frye#big man#marie#callie#off the hook#deep cut#squid sisters#hopefully I got all the idol tags
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Idk if you saw or not but a new chapter of the fury of a shattered mirror dropped last night! I haven’t read it yet but I thought I should let you know 😎👍
awughgh HELL YEAH!! ive been away from my laptop for a while so i didnt see, thank you birdy!! :] this is the best news ive had all day hkjgh <33 excited very excited going to read it now <33
#volta transmissions#SKILLS ARE BACK BABEYYYYYYY!! ehehehehe :] oh i LOVE seeing them come back from just ''??????'' SMILES REALLY HAPPILY#welcome back to the world little ones... oh im so happy to see them... :'] ''You do you softie'' EHEHE... skills interactions :D! yay!!!!!#okay i'll add more liveblogging in the tags as i go probably hkjhg <33 i appreciate you very much birdy <33#''the avant-garde prick is just making shit up again'' HAKJDHKJ... ''You did us proud holding out til the end'' WAH... ENDURANCE... ;O;#WELCOME BACK ENCY SMILES!!! no motorics skills yet though thats to be expected hkjh <3 ency ''you have the facts'' and#empathy ''and the emotions'' HKJGH IS THAT A FACTSFEELINGS SKILLSPOSTING REFERENCE /J lots of voli talking!!! very happy about this <3#VOLITION - ''if we had the logician here...'' ''...'' ''damnit i thought that would work'' HAHAJKSHDSKJH SMILES. HA.#''Punch something. maybe Coach will show up'' HHFKJH... oh my god this makes me so happy... cmon we gotta get the gang back together...#half light!! hello!! my darling!! LETS GO!! ough buT NOT ENOUGH TO GET ARMS BACK NOOUIGHJ MOTORICS WHERE ARE YOU LITTLE BUDDIES???#''try to get eyes back online'' ''come on come on--'' OUGH I LOVE... i love how theyre all supporting each other as they come back online..#TEAMWORK!! CMON LETS GET EVERYONE BACK!! YEAH BOI WE GOT A MOTORICS BACK UP!! HELLO PERCEP! calm down! you need composure in here!!#THE JOYWIRE... OUGH STOP STOP IM SO FOND... VOLI CMON. nooo ourgh takes damage... ''You were really gonna cut me out?'' AWAH... WAHHH!!!!!#ow my heart my HEART. chemi baby my little darling... hugging him kissing his forehead... THERES OUR LOGICIAN HELLO DARLING!!#hkjh trying to cue in interfacing DAMN :'] good metaphor anyway concept it was very well laid. voli keeping track of each of them too hehe#HI DRAMA YAYY! platonic love story! friends!!! ''Neuroplasticity's off the charts.'' ''I'm surprised you know a word that long that isn't-#'''amphetamines''' ''Dextromethorphan asshole'' HAJKSH YOU FUCKING TELL 'EM! YOU'RE NOT E-CHEMISTRY FOR NOTHING!!!#again with trying to get Phys back in hkjhg INLANDDD SMILES HI THERE DREAMER!! Logic just like ''yeah. i hate it here.'' ''have you tried?'#okay this is the 20th tag. hopefully a reblog will be enough to finish out my thoughts but god knows i have so much to say hjhg#esprit: Birdy
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kuroba not liking to talk about their time in high school and the one yotsubana florals employee that's actively attending akatsuka high hating kara's guts so he refuses to tell him where he goes to school is doing a lot of legwork when it comes to the whole " kurokara don't realize they went to school together until the reunion " situation.
#they manage this despite knowing each other for over a year and a half before the reunion happens#i've talked about how kuroba finds out a little but i think the sextuplets would find out while looking through the yearbook#kara points out a photo of the morning glories that the beautification committee took care of and start waxing on about them#but then choro cuts him off bc hey doesn't this person in the photo look kinda like....#they flip through the pages and yep there's youtsubana kuroba in the 3rd year student headshots#they're all kinda shocked bc why the hell did this never come up before and they get mad at kara about it#kara was curious about where they went to hs but never pushed the topic since he knew kuro didn't like talk about it#they did mention that they didn't have a great time in high school so maybe they weren't at the reunion#so hopefully they didn't see what happened and the one person who gives them unconditional kindness doesn't start to rethink things#but then totty gets a notification for a picture from the reunion that dobusu posted. and it's with kuroba.#kara immediately gets sidetracked by the picture tho bc holy shit it's kuro in formal wear and totty has to peel his hands off his phone#okay i didn't mean to ramble in tags again oops#i gotta go get ready for work now 😭#maybe i'll try designing that employee i mentioned bc he still doesn't have a solid design yet#we'll get you a design soon hisoka i prommy#oc : kuroba#ship : kurokara#mj rambles
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