#hopefully i'm not stepping into discourse

[imaginespazzi]

niviiiiii where you at my love??? need your game recap and your crashout over ur wifey being back on the court!!

48 hours later, and now that I can remember the game for more than just Azzi because really that's all I could think about on the actual day, I do have actual game thoughts:

Thank god I had that cloud of happiness about Azzi coming back because if I didn't, I think that game might have actually killed my soul because quite frankly, I didn't think that game was great by any stretch. And listen I love my alums, I love seeing them, love their support etc. etc. but please for the love of god, they can never come to a game against a real opponent and they needa stay so far away from the team during March/April.

The one thing I did enjoy: SARAH FUCKING STRONG. She was just so good and she really just does everything on the court at such a high level. AND THE THREES ARE FALLING! Like everyone should be really scared because Sarah is the real fucking deal.

Thank god Paige lowkey had a good second half because if she'd kept playing the way the she did that first half, the discourse would've been unbearable and I wouldn't have even stepped into defend her like girlie was doing her best *not* to beat the allegation from ND last year. But as always, when she wasn't contributing scoring wise, Paige did everything else. Grandpa should've let her get that double-double.

I like that Ice seems to be becoming consistent with what she does

Thank god for KC in the first half! That's that veteran experience bleeding through where despite the rims apparently being closed for UConn, she found a way. Hopefully that translates to a higher ranked opponent.

We need more from Ash but I do like that she's being aggressive

JANA GIRL LAYUPS!! Please for the love of god truly nothing irritates me more and I'm assuming by the looks he was giving her, Geno's gonna get on her ass about it.

KK continues to give us that spark off the bench but she's still making some freshman mistakes.

Speaking of sparks, Morgan has a definitive impact that won't show up on the box score, but you see it when she steps on the floor every game.

Allie baby I fear you're gonna have to wait your turn and that might not be till next year

AND FINALLY AZZI FUDD!! Man I was just so happy to see my girl so happy to play and she could've score 0 points and I would've felt like she'd scored 50. Gonna add another anon here because I think they captured it pretty well:

Like obviously she didn't do anything otherwordly but immediately you can tell she's moving well and the fact that she was willing to make shot after missing is a great read on her new mentality. AND THE DEFENSE. I remember Azzi saying that's what she took most pride in, in HS, so if we can get that defensive minded Azzi + her shots start falling, well...Geno might faint out of love for her lol.

Overall with opponents like this, it's all about how you beat them and we didn't do it particularly beautifully but like I've been saying, this is a young team and it's early days. I think the Bahama's will be a great test for them and especially if they get Ole Miss, I think we're gonna learn a lot.

[rayless-reblogs]

Goldstone Wood and the Oddness of Christian Fantasy

Princess Varvare in a kingdom of roses

I want to share some illustrations inspired by the Tales of Goldstone Wood series by Anne Elisabeth Stengl. It's a Christian fantasy series that I really like. Give me a moment to talk about that – unless you absolutely love Christian fantasy, all Christian fantasies, in which case, maybe skip this.

I spent a chunk of the early 2000s defending fantasy as a genre to a variety of Christians I ran across – not the majority, but still a variety of them – both in my head and to their faces. The preacher who said, from the pulpit, that Harry Potter was Satanic. Writers explaining why JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis were (of course) okay, but all other fantasy novels were suspect. Websites that dissected the occult symbolism you never realized was buried in fantasy media. My friend who frowned at me in concern and said she wouldn't want to have to explain to God why she read “that kind of thing” when she met him after death.

This is Rosie (and her goat Beana, who talks.) I love Rosie utterly, she tries so hard and she feels things so much. The next image is a spoiler, showing her unveiled.

I think that's partially why I'm interested in the genre of Christian fantasy, this attempt to make these two things fit. For me, the fusion often doesn't work. Either writers mix theology and fantasy in a weird confusing way. (Wait, you just had your heroine marry an angel. Do you actually think that happens? Which parts of this actually reflect your belief system?) Or they play things extremely safe and traditional. (Oh boy, another story about a young farm boy who's going to go on a quest and fight the Satan figure and become a hero while his girlfriend does... something peaceful off-screen.) Or they try to be another Lewis in the belief that since Lewis and John Bunyan did it, allegory is an acceptable vehicle for fantasy, and let's be really obvious about the symbolism. (I bet this demon symbolizes evil.) I read Christian fantasy, but it's partially optimistic curiosity, it's partially pessimistic irony, and I haven't found many that I'd recommend.

Rosie unveiled.

But I do like Tales of Goldstone Wood, at least what I've read so far (still missing a few of the installments). I like it enough that I would recommend it to a Christian who wants to read fantasy, or a fantasy reader who doesn't mind Christian themes. Anne Elisabeth Stengl often approaches the Christian elements indirectly, from less obvious angles, so you don't have all the heavy-handed symbols you see in the Lewis and Tolkien knockoffs. She has many, many interesting female characters and a lot of humor. Her series also builds, adding complexity to the world and characters with each installment, many of the characters showing up in multiple books.

Varvare and the unicorn. This unnamed unicorn is one of my favorite elements of the third book – beautiful but dangerous and eldritch. Corrupted – but not exactly evil.

Stengl's also not afraid to get weird and fey with her fantasy elements, at times reminding me strongly of things like Labyrinth, The Neverending Story, and no end of Celtic and European folklore. Her magical characters are unpredictable, merry, fearsome, and unabashedly over the top. Her heroes have depth, flaws to go with their heroism, and never become morally perfect even after their conversions – unlike in so much Christian fiction. Much of Christian fantasy bears the thumbprint of CS Lewis; in Stengl's case, though her writing shows clear nods to Lewis (and not just his Narnia books), she isn't trying to replicate him. These aren't books that Lewis would have written.

Daylily and Lionheart. If the series has a protagonist, it's probably Lionheart there on the right. He seems to be doomed to keep showing up in different story arcs, and he's always interesting.

I recommend you begin with the first one, Heartless. Though Heartless is the least ambitious/unique entry – it's straightforward and, of all of the books, the most directly allegorical. (I bet this guy's the Jesus figure. Yep, yep he is.) But it lays the foundation for the world and establishes many of the central characters, including my favorite Eanrin, the blind cat-shapeshifting bard-knight with the heroism of a knight, the selfishness of a cat, and endless flair. Stengl does explore Christian themes, but at the same time she clearly wants to create beautiful language, memorable characters, and engrossing stories. The stories and characters don't feel secondary to the message.

Eanrin, I like him a lot. He also shows up in almost every book, at least the main books, sometimes pre-injury, sometimes post-.

My favorite book is Starflower, the fourth, because of its courageous heroine (who grows into the librarian-knight Imraldera we see in other books), its twisted echoes of “Beauty and the Beast” and Till We Have Faces, and its focus on, who else, Eanrin in his younger years, before he's really gotten that whole hero thing worked out.

Imraldera. (She's looking at Eanrin.) The series is allegedly over, but I feel like there are still some narrative threads hanging, including with Imraldera here. My hope is that the author returns to the series someday.

As with any recommendation, this isn't a blanket recommendation; you may find things in here you don't like. I don't sign off on every element as perfect. But Christian fantasy is a small genre, it's a weird genre, in my opinion it's often a clumsy genre. Goldstone Wood is proof that it can produce interesting, original material – stuff not merely “good for a Christian fantasy”, but just a good series, period.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

First, let me apologise for making people worry. I appreciate all those who reached out and I'm sorry that I couldn't get back to you all.

I have been through a very rough spiral. It was building for months, and I am still not fully okay.

For those who want context, it's under the cut.

I bought a house in May. It's expensive. I wasn't ready financially or in many ways for that step, but my partner convinced me. I told him as much but I was not heard. Alas, I have a mortgage, full time work, astudent loan, and an ongoing school program to contend with. It hasn't been easy and it caught up to me.

At the same time, a person who traumatised me and I have no way of fully extricating from my life, has moved closer. To keep the peace, I have to associate with him to a degree and he pretends that nothing ever happened. To him, it was nothing.

In June, I moved. It was hard and fast paced. I did most of the paperwork etc for the whole process and obv helped with the physical transition as well. I was responsible for deadlines and checklists for not just myself but my partner.

I was plugging holes in a sinking boat.

At the same time, I had obligations to my family. Every weekend if I wasn't dealing with the house and all that goes into it, I was running around to babysit or see family or whathave you.

In July, I pinched a nerve behind my tailbone. I missed a week of work bc my injury but it took longer for my to recover. I am still feeling it today. It was more than physical, but emotional.

I also got three periods that month. Hormonal can't begin to explain how fucked up I've been.

On top of all that, there are underlying issues associated with other trauma and discontent. I'm realising that I have been loyal and tolerant to the point of my own detriment.

I don't want to hurt people how I've been hurt, so I don't speak up. When people tell me something about myself, I let all the doubts planted in my mind from years of abuse convince me that they're right. I can admit my faults but often times I will think that proof of one flaw means everything about me is rotten.

People forget about me or just don't care. Both or either. They don't put the same effort in that I do. I find it hard to connect because years of disregard and neglect have told me that the other side just won't care.

But I'm not just hurt, I'm angry. I'm seeking therapy and trying to figure this out.

It all boiled over after my last post. Nothing I do is enough. For anyone. Not even when it's a hobby. I was frustrated bc the place I use for escape just made me feel like less than.

Obviously, I don't mean everyone or even the majority. I appreciate the discourse and fun and everything here! There are so many awesome people to interact with and I have missed you all, however, my headspace was bad. Very bad. I had thoughts I haven't dealt with in years.

I put my nose down and just went to work. I didn't wanna talk to anyone. I didn't wanna be in the world.

I did some reading, eventually some non-fandom writing, and sometimes, I just stayed alive.

I don't know if I'm really okay but I'm trying.

To those who have been so patient and supportive, you deserve everything. To those who are silent supporters, you do too. And even to those people who send me the most vile hate, you deserve to lift yourself out of the dark space you're stuck in. Hopefully, I can, too.

[deathdetermineslife]

how do you manage to get any followers or friends in the selfshipping community? is it just luck?

for months i’ve been trying to interact with others and follow people, engaging with stuff like ask games and hosting reblog games, but when i try to share any artwork or i reblog an ask game myself, its radio silence. like even in small discords i get ignored so bad

i don’t say this at all to be guilt tripping /gen, it’s genuine curiosity at how this stuff even works. like am i doing something wrong or is the community just like this?

here is my comprehensive and lame guide on How To Get Selfship Followers

step 1 - posting

so a lot of my posts are either kinda general or fun. folks I will not lie to you. these are all stupid shit that come to my mind on a day to day basis. for example, today, I thought, "man I'm such a loser I'm not in college like all my friends r" and then I was like "omg wait. i could make a post out of this" so I did that.

you also kinda gotta be conistent. so i try to post at least *something* everyday. even if its a reblog, tho, I don't reblog a lot of things other than ask games.

another thing with posting is that i do try to make a lot of community based content. so idk if yall remember but in the beginning of my account, I did the "things you can do if you have xyz f/o". i did like,,, I think almost 100 of those ?????? it was a lot. then I started making templates and I made some ask games and ofc I post a lot of general like,,, imagine stuff. oh also polls. people seem to enjoy polls.

step 2 - be positive

this is the big thing. as most of yall (hopefully) know, I do not fw proshippers !! but I don't talk about discourse unless its directly brought up. not only this, I put a big focus on just,,, being nice idk. like id like to think I'm a pretty down to earth person.

if you make a template and people tag you in it, say something nice! reply to peoples art, send in asks, things like that. i try to do my part in being nice. i also just like hearing about peoples selfships.

when people post promos and have the little "rb to be moots", reblog! when you come across someone having a bad day, maybe they made a vent or something, reply with a simple "I hope you feel better <3" or "your f/o loves you <3". things like that, ya know?

step 3 - have fun

genuinely. i post as much as i do because I like it. i didn't go into this thinking "oh... yea... I'm gonna get selfship famous..." like no I just wanna ramble somewhere bc none of my close irls r selfshippers.

you wont get popular or get followers because you grind out posts. literally one of my biggest posts on this account I wrote while I was half asleep one night and wanted to test out queuing on my account.

and in that regard, it is partially luck. i don't control what posts people do and don't like. sometimes I write up imagines and no one sees them. sometimes I write up a post saying "lol go kiss your fake boyfriend ooo smoochie smoochie" and that does numbers

step 4 - interaction

im only in two servers. one server (which was the first public server I think I ever joined ???? i could be wrong tho,,, bad memory blehg) that I don't own and then my own 18+ server. i don't think being in servers does anything,,, considering I'm only in one that isn't mine. i think its more like ,,, sticking to one or two places ?? like just being consistently in an area you're comfortable in.

i guess you gotta just find the right people ??? and like I mentioned, be friendly, but ya know. also I guess tags too? idk if you look at any of my regular posts I have 8 million tags on them. idk if that actually does anything or not because its kinda hit or miss sometimes.

i was gonna say something else but i forgot. see look listen I dunno how I got here but this is what I do ,,,, effectively nothing. also with the being kind thing, maybe this is how I am bc I'm pagan but I think that if you expect kindness back you wont get anything. sometimes its just nice to be nice. eventually you gain a reputation for being a nice person. you kinda have to not want that tho? like I don't see myself as particularly like ,,, super kind ,,,??? i just do what feels right.

step 5 - uhhhh idk im just rambling now

i guess i also went into this kinda like. damn sometimes this community is a cesspool of absolute meanie pants. i don't wanna be a Meanie Pants and just post my thoughts and the things I think about. i guess how I see it too is, I kinda like ? idk I think all these things anyways why not post them? kinda feels like a waste not to.

also ive been told my posts are pretty recognizable bc of how I format them ? my dividers and such. also tagging all of my imagines and stuff with my 🥀📜 emojis. i guess that helps too? because that's how I recognize certain accounts. "like oh there's them I recognize their dividers and their tags".

also you kinda gotta like,,, not let hate get to you. like have fun with it? i know that's hard, but, that's what you gotta do. when I get printer ink (bc. a hoe does NOT like buying printer ink) im printing out that fucking 8 mile long hate message I got sent. but also that's just the kinda person I am. like people being a dick and stealing my posts and telling me to swallow a glock 9mm doesn't upset me, im more like,, confused more than anything because never in my life have I ever sent hate to anyone. also I have had this "I do not care because you're some loser on the internet and you being an ass wipe is no where near as bad as the shit people have done to me irl" attitude.

TLDR; i dont think youre doing anything wrong because I don't exactly know what I'm doing right. i just... do... and sometimes, "just doing" is enough. maybe its luck, maybe I've been blessed by the tumblr algorithm and I've somehow figured it out, or maybe the community is just genuinely that bad and they pick favorites. maybe its all of the above! who knows. i try not to worry about it. i think at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun posting about your f/os and selfshipping, that's what matters.

alright thats all see ya. if you have any more questions feel free to ask however I fear I cannot answer them </3

[liesmyth]

anon! I see you! same for the other anon I got 3 weeks ago and left on read — I was trying to decide how to phrase this.

I'm not publishing these in full because I'd rather talk about cool fandom theories I like instead of singling out specific takes I don't agree with.

The one thing I really feel like saying publicly re: TLT fandom discourse is that I think we could all benefit from, like, taking a step back from invoking Tamsyn when it comes to discussing theories or interpretations. I think the tone of the discourse and the fandom as a whole would be a lot healthier if we just agreed that we're getting a lil' bit silly with it, which is 100% what Tamsyn wanted when she started writing, anyway.

There are many fandom posts that EYE would find very compelling if they were presented as "This is a cool idea I had and the lenses through which I choose to engage with this story and these characters..." but often take the tone of "This is CLEARLY what the author means to do, listen up..." — with the implications that people who see things differently are getting a bad grade in lockedtomb reading, and then it stops being fun and it starts getting pretty hostile pretty quick.

I think a lot about Tamsyn's quote "I am writing for my younger self and it would be disgusting of me to try to teach her anything." That's the spirit in which I think it's most fun to engage with her writing. She's an excellent author and her books have a lot going on and many angles you can look at... but they aren't flawless, and she can't have accounted for all the theories the fandom is coming up with. I think we should stop trying to look at these books as though they are That Serious, and give ourselves more credit that maybe we're coming up with stuff the creator never considered, and that doesn't mean your stuff is less valid, but it does mean you shouldn't flex on other fans because you see it and they don't. From everything we know about Tamsyn, she'd probably be the first to say "It's not that deep, unless you want it to be."

For comparison, I've been in ASOIAF fandom for 15 years and we haven't had new material for almost as long and silly theories and renewed interpretations are flourishing every month, and nobody gives a fig about what GRRM was really trying to say because maybe the author's intention isn't the ultimate value of a work, and the author is dead anyway.

IDK. I think we should all get a little sillier with it. I've been guilty of some Not Silly in the past, though hopefully not much, but ultimately I'm here to have fun and so are most people. Especially since TLT is still ongoing, and many interpretations WILL get debunked, we're probably just better off now putting less stock on authorial backing to avoid disappointment later on, and to have more fun as a fandom during the #alectopause.

ANYWAY my askbox is always open specifically to get silly with it. I haven't hornyposted about lyctor sex in a while

[focsle]

I've seen you answer a few asks about whaling history before, so hopefully I'm not offbase asking you questions out of the blue? But anyway, how did people bathe (or keep clean if not by bathing) during long sea voyages?

Not off base at all! Out of the blue whaling history questions are some of my fav asks to receive; I find them thrilling. I can’t help but write an essay every time.

It was particularly hard to keep clean on a whaler, and whalemen were often disparaged by those in other maritime professions. In 1839, naval Lieutenant Charles Wilkes said of the crew of the whaleship America, 

“I have seldom seen at sea a more uncombed and dirty set of mariners than his crew.“

J.E. Haviland of the Baltic, 1856, complained of besmirching his journal pages with the grime that he was unable to scrub off his hands after tarring the rigging, self consciously saying:

“My hands + clothes would look beautiful for a ladies Parlor. I see they even collor the paper but I cannot get the tar out. The Old Man says he intends to have me tar down the rigging a few days before we get in New Bedford so that I shall not forget too soon that I have been a sailor.”

General ships’ work  such as tarring could be messy, but a whaler’s work was even messier. When trying out blubber it was futile to attempt maintaining any semblance of cleanliness during the process. William Abbe of the Atkins Adams, 1859, said that during boiling, a watch would turn in to their bunks a few hours rest, merely ‘after wiping off your bare body with oakum to take off the thickest of the oil”.

But the gore and oil wasn’t forever. After the particular job was done the ship would be meticulously cleaned, and the whalers would tend to themselves too. As Herman Melville wrote,

“The crew themselves proceed to their own ablutions; shift themselves from top to toe; and finally issue to the immaculate deck, fresh and all aglow, as bridegrooms new-leaped from out the daintiest Holland. Now, with elated step, they pace the planks in twos and threes, and humorously discourse of parlors, sofas, carpets, and fine cambrics; propose to mat the deck; think of having hanging to the top; object not to taking tea by moonlight on the piazza of the forecastle. To hint to such musked mariners of oil, and bone, and blubber, were little short of audacity. They know not the thing you distantly allude to. Away, and bring us napkins!”

Haviland expressed gratitude in getting a chance to get clean after all the work of boiling blubber was done:

“I feel much better to day I have given myself a good wash + a clean shave + got in all clean clothes. You would not have known your own son if you could have seen him yesterday. I was nearly black with smoke + dirt. (with shame) I say it was the accumulation of 2 months dirt + 4 months beard. Everything looks as clean + bright as it did before we took the whale”

Being able to bathe was such a highlight that Abbe titled one of his journal pages “Washing myself!!” With TWO exclamation points!

“I write with pride in my fastidious journal that this morning I washed my face + hands with castile soap + fresh water — when shall I do the like again? When shall I write the pleasant and comfortable fact that I have shaved? The future and fair weather only can tell.”

The ship’s slop chest—its general store—had toiletries for sale, often at a very high premium. Whaling account books show men buying pounds of oil soap for their own personal stores. The fresh water was often rainwater collected for this purpose, rather than the casks set aside for drinking.

“This has been a rather squally day,” wrote Mary Lawrence, whaling wife who accompanied her husband on his ship Addison in the 1850s. “Considerable rain has fallen, and everybody on deck is using an abundant supply of rainwater for washing purposes.” She also added, though this is speaking of laundry rather than bathing, “Having stopped up the scuppers, the use the whole deck for one grand washtub.”

They’d use the sea, too. John Martin of the Lucy Ann, wrote of bathing via rain and sea whilst near the equator on January 24th, 1842.

“Towards noon the rain came down in torrents. The weather being sultry the watch on deck shipped off their shirts to it. John the boat steerer went entirely naked with the exception of a handkerchief tied around his privates. In the afternoon it cleared away, when I asked permission from the Captain for the crew to take a bathe over the side. He said we might do it if we rigged a studding sail over the side, which was soon done & all hands that could swim were to be seen jumping from different parts of the ship. Some went out to the end of the flying jib boom & jumped off there. Even the dog was thrown overboard & got his share of washing. I like bathing at sea but for one thing, and that is sharks. I always have a fear that one might be hovering about and give one a nip before he was aware of it.”

It was challenging for whalers to keep clean by nature of the job, but man when they were able to they really seemed to revel in it. For many of them it was more than just a bath; it was a symbolic return to a home they were long away from, or to the man they perceived themselves to be back on shore, or of a society that they felt cut off from in their line of work.

If you’re interested I also wrote a thing about doing laundry on whaleships too, yonder!

[spewagepipe]

On Performer-GM vs. Player-GM

After some analysis and introspection both of my own blog and the discourse I've seen elsewhere, I think I've identified a valuable schism not just in how people design and play RPGs, but in how they fundamentally understand what an RPG is – or more specifically, what a "Game Master" is.

It appears to me that this difference in understanding is leading to a lot of miscommunication, so I want to try to present my findings here as neutrally as I can in the hopes of enabling folks on either side of that schism to avoid talking straight past one another.

I'm calling the first perspective the "Game-Master-as-Performer".

I give it this name because it views an RPG (or more specifically, the campaign) as a kind of show or performance that is being created and presented by the GM. To be clear: I don't mean this in the sense that GMs (or players) are expected to do voices and acting – the "show" can be a totally mechanical and flavourless one and still exist within this philosophy. Nor do I mean that the GM is pre-writing the story and the players are just along for the ride – the "show" is usually highly interactive (compare it to, say, an improv comic doing crowd work).

What I mean, instead, is that a Performer-GM is seen as a kind of auteur – their job is to create a game for their players (whether in real time or using prepared materials) by whatever means they have available. The novice Performer-GM is regarded like a novice painter might be: their first works are bound to be crude and clumsy because they haven't mastered proper technique yet. The Performer-GM is expected to learn from these awkward first steps, improve their methods and adopt additional techniques garnered from a combination of practice, experimentation, and studying the "works" of other GMs – be it through YouTube videos, personal mentorship, or game rulebooks.

Indeed, a vital feature of the Performer-GM perspective is the idea that systems, mechanics, and other game procedures are treated like "tools in one's toolbox" – to be learned and incorporated into one's personal style in the same way that the developing painter might incorporate chiaroscuro, point perspective, or caricature. The Performer-GM, in their growing mastery of the medium, decides if and when to employ any given tool in the pursuit of the artistic experience they are trying to deliver to their audience. Implicitly, they also therefore ignore the tools that they deem would distract from those aesthetic goals.

I'm calling the second perspective the "Game-Master-as-Player".

I give it this name because it views an RPG as a kind of asymmetrical tabletop game, in which the GM is also a player – but one who is following a different set of rules from the other players. If you're not familiar with the concept of asymmetrical games, the (hopefully familiar) example to use as an analogy is Simon Says. In order to play Simon Says, one of the players has to be "Simon" – that player has to follow a different set of rules from the others, much like the GM follows a different set of rules from the other players of an RPG.

The vital feature of the Player-GM perspective is that the game system (in the sense of the Baker-Care-Boss Principle) is seen as the responsibility of the game's designer, and not as a responsibility of the GM. That is, the RPG designer decides the aesthetic goals of a particular game, and then, through a combination of their own artistic expertise and extensive play-testing, the designer identifies a system (rules, procedures, mechanics, et cetera) that achieves those aesthetic goals with some reliability.

The Player-GM's job, once the designer has completed that task, is to simply use the system as the designer has instructed them to use it –in the exact same way that they would if they were any other player sitting down to any other sort of tabletop game.

The major distinction between these two perspectives, if you will, is the question of who is responsible for the game system? Both perspectives agree that whoever is in charge of the system is clearly the principal "artist" of the game, the auteur who has the greatest ability to guide the game towards some certain aesthetic vision. But the GM-as-Performer crowd says that person is the GM, and the GM-as-Player crowd says that person is the game designer.

From what I have seen, however, neither crowd is particularly aware of the other's frame of reference – more on that next time.

[xecutivecucumber]

Executive Cucumber's (sorta) thoughts about the Bad Batch 03×10 & 03x11!

Spoilers under the cut

All right guys, I'm not doing my full list of thoughts. These episodes were really, really emotional for me for many reasons and I do not have the emotional energy to do my usual dives. I'm stepping away from the fandom in general for this week. Honestly, for my mental health, I just do not need to be around Fandom discourse right now. I've already left the pertinent subreddits and hopefully I'll survive.

But my brief thoughts!

So, I majored in the Humanities in college. I saw and read a lot of amazing art. But there was a category of art that I like to call, 'this was beautiful and poignant and life changing, but I never want to consume it again.'

These episodes fall under this category. They were art, and they were excruciating.

I also am still firmly in camp 'CX-2 is Tech.' Because it actively makes The Point of No Return less tragic if it is not him. Part of the reason I was sobbing during it was that it was TECH who was being so cruel, destroying the home he'd nearly had, destroying HIS ship, nearly killing his brothers.

And it's Tech, who gave Omega her first comm, who loves her, who would die to keep her safe, who takes her comm and takes her back to Tantiss.

Plus, who the heck else says 'domicile?'

(On the plus side, he gets his revenge on Cid)

My heart is broken for Omega. I hate that she has to make this choice. I KNEW she was going to sacrifice herself. If anyone says 'the Empire did nothing wrong' to me, even as a joke, they're losing a finger.

I dread how the rest of the Batch are going to confront each other about this. Crosshair was also the only one who would let her do this. In a positive way.

...I loved seeing Phee.

I wish I had more to say about Identity Crisis, but I spent that episode trying to overcome my disappointment that it wasn't about Tech. It was still an exceptional episode, regardless of my expectations.

But I do want to say, Cad Bane takes a lot of kid jobs. What's up with that? Weirdo.

Anyway, happy birthday to me! I get: Omega getting taken and Tech destroying everything he loves. Yaaaaaaaaaaaay.

[philsdrivinglicence]

Killing the white supremacist inside you. Easy mode. From one whitey to another.

Disclaimer: I am not an academic or an expert. Just a white person who's life was changed for the radically better during the BLM protests of 2020 who wants to share what worked for them.

Below is a non-comprehensive list of first steps you can take to begin the hard work of unpicking the layers upon layers of white supremacist bullshit baked into you from birth by the culture we live in (even if you grew up progressive or in a big city you are not exempt from this).

I made this list because POC in the phandom have been doing a lot of heavy lifting the past few days. I figured the least I could do is share what worked for me to understand what racism is and how its more subtle forms can manifest.

I hope we can all use the below as a starting point to help make the phandom a less racist and more welcoming place.

(btw I do think we are generally more self ware than many fandoms but as we are a mostly white space we have to keep ourselves accountable as white supremacy is an insidious bastard that will catch you unawares if you let it.)

So. Without further ado.

- read this article

- Read "Why I'm No Longer Talking To White People About Race" by Reni Eddo Lodge (how you choose to source this book I will not judge but consider supporting a local book store)

- Stop being so afraid of being called racist. - Hopefully, if you are engaging in good faith then you already accept that racism is baked into our society. Racist is not a dogwhistle for "evil person". It is a descriptor of very specific behavior that we can all fall into if we don't keep ourselves sharp. So part 2 of this step is -

- Look back on your life and identify a time when you have participated in racism. My go to example is my 14 year old "never met a black person in real life" self, yelling along to N****s in Paris (uncensored, duh) at a house party with a bunch of other white 14 year olds. If you're getting really introspective you'll probably have multiple of these such moments. Sit with them, feel the cringe, think about what you might say to that version of yourself now, how you might have acted differently had you been aware the behavior was problematic. And then forgive yourself. Self flagellation does nothing good, the thing to do now is learn and progress. But you can't know what to change/avoid if you don't have examples to work off of. (This one is lowkey hard mode but worth doing early on so you can see your own progress over time. Also, if the examples you are thinking of were directly harmful you may also want to consider making amends in some way).

- Look at your playlists/album collection. If you don't see many/any POC musicians make a conscious effort to change that. Seek out interviews with your favourite artists and see which black artists have influenced them. Add them to your rotation.

- Do this with youtubers, authors, actors, screenwriters etc, etc. In all forms or art and entertainment, look at what you consume and if you find it overerall skewing white, make an effort to fill it with colour.

(Kill the voice inside you that says "I just prefer - blank-", or "the stuff they make just isn't for me, I prefer stuff I can relate to". This is the white supremacy talking, POC are not a monolith, look harder, you will find artists you connect with)

- Every time a POC points something out to you that seems off to them (I often refer to this as "this doesn't pass the sniff test") before jumping in to defend your fave/point of view/TV show etc. really sit with what they have said and try to consider why what they are pointing out, while not a big deal to you, could be a big deal to them.

Like I said up top, this is a non comprehensive list and is only intended as a starting point.

I usually wouldn't post something like this as I prefer to stay out of discourse but the conversation going on this past few days has really disappointed me. So many people are being dismissive toward POC fans and completely missing the points they are trying to make. So here's my two cents. Hope it's helpful.

[dizzythegreat]

Keeper of the Lost Cities meta: a hopefully-not-too-critical analysis

Starting off by saying that this whole thing is a just little too pretentious and a just little too fueled by irritation so don't take everything I say as fact! I'm just kind of ranting about things that I feel like most people are annoyed with (?) please share your thoughts with me! I think it's important for discourse like this to happen to keep fandoms alive!! non-Keeper mutuals feel free to DISREGARD!

First of all Keeper has such a special place in my heart, I started reading the series when I was 12 and I'm 16 now, so I really did kind of grow up with the books. I LOVED the series as a kid and hyperfixated on it for a really long time. As the series progresses and as I read it from a different lens, I'm seeing all of the flaws so much more clearly, so this whole rant basically stems from realizing something so special to me is flawed media and wanting to get my thoughts somewhere. All of this comes from a loving place! I'm just putting down my top few issues with the series and my opinions on a lot of different elements <3

DISCLAIMER I'm doing a reread but I'm only on book 1 and my memory is shit. Any false information is literally not my fault leave me alone

1. Length, redundancy, and predictability

This one really starts in Flashback #7 for me. It will always, always evade me why that book contains ~300 straight pages of Sophitz fluff and fucking around in the healing center. I know that a lot of people enjoyed those parts, which is totally valid! Shipping is a cornerstone of this series! But for me it felt so pointless and fan servicey, idk. And this is maybe my biggest problem with the books: they drag. We're at 9 and a half books now, each spanning like 500-800 pages, and the plot drags and drags and drags. I don't know if Shannon's publisher makes her fill a certain number of pages or what, but I feel like at least 100 pages of bullshit could be cut from each book and nothing would change. They start to almost follow a formula: 200 or so pages of figuring out the Neverseen's plan of the hour, another 200-ish to plan how to defeat them, and then finally we learn that the Neverseen is actually always one step ahead and the crew gets crushed oh my god tragic!! It worked as a subversion of expectations the first couple times but by now I feel like most people could basically just predict what's going to happen in any given book. Sometimes I wonder got left on the cutting room floor because it feels like SM wrote a first draft, barely trimmed it down, and published just that. The plot spins in circles, the protagonists are confused yet again, I am pulling my hair out in chunks.

It's a huge turn-off to a lot of new readers seeing these super thick books, and it's even a turn-off to me when I do rereads because surprise surprise, I don't actually really give a fuck if Fitz likes Sophie back, or at least not enough to read 300 pages on it per book. If the books were more concise, not only would that fix a lot of the plot and character development issues, it would also make them way more digestible because to be honest with you I probably couldn't remember half of what happens in most of them.

2. Sophie...

I think this is a very polarizing opinion but I just kind of don't like Sophie as a main character? I honestly think she's fallen victim to becoming a Mary Sue and not even in a "wehhh powerful woman make me mad" type way! It's just that Sophie at her fullest power is undeniably the most powerful elf in a battle, so to counteract this, Shannon has to keep finding ways for the Neverseen to take away Sophie's power. Whether through the whole "she can only inflict everyone at once" thing or breaking every bone in her hand or creating forcefields or literally fucking anything to stop this kid with five million superpowers, they have to find a way to effectively tie her down so the battles seem somewhat realistic. This then creates a weird pattern where every battle goes one of two ways: Neverseen finds a way to effectively debilitate Sophie and all her friends, or she just goes fucking sicko mode and destroys everyone. You just can't have a main character who's this much ahead of everyone else in terms of raw power.

For me, I think the biggest issue with Sophie is she's not relatable to the average reader. The age demographic for Keeper is preteens and teens. How many 13 year olds are the most powerful, unstoppable person in their friend group, in which three hot guys are head-over-heels in love with them, living in very comfortable conditions, with like five hundred friends? If you were that fucking baller at 13 then go fuck yourself that's super cool for you! But the core pillars of Sophie's life, disregarding the all the magical stuff (which obviously requires some suspension of disbelief) are simply not relatable or recognizable to the average reader. So how are we as readers supposed to feel connected to Sophie's life and situation if we never have (and let's face it, never will) experience anything close to the more realistically human parts of her life?

3. Character development (and the lack thereof)

Say what you will but to me the character development is so pale and arguably just doesn't exist. It feels like everyone has become so one-dimensional, so predictable, and so limp. Sophie has it the worst because we read from her POV, so all of her quirks and thoughts become really fucking annoying to read over and over again. For example, The whole oblivious "omg does Dex like me? does Keefe like me? DO I LIKE FITZ???" thing was cute when she was 12 back in book one but by now I am genuinely tearing my hair out when I have to read "Sophie blushed" every two pages. The whole "I'm a freak and nothing I do ever works and all is hopeless" thing was easy to feel sympathy for the first few times, but by now it's just kind of... exhausting? It feels like the naïve, oblivious Sophie from book 1 is exactly the same person as Stellarlune Sophie, no matter how many hideouts SM makes her burn down to prove she's ruthless or something. At this point, I feel like Sophie's choices throughout the series end up either being really predictable or wildly out of left field.

Every character other than Fitz, Keefe, and Sophie (and you could make a case for the three of them too) have become a shadow of themselves and they all get at most two conversations worth of pagetime. This can be attributed to a lot of things that I don't feel like talking about so here they are in point form: excessive focus on the main "love triangle", overloaded cast of protagonists, too much emphasis on A) furthering the plot and B) Sophie's inner thoughts instead of character relationships and found family. I think the books have lost sight of the original love, trust, and bond created by the five mains, and those super interesting dynamics between the different sets of friends that were so abundant in the first few installements have become few and far between. When I was a kid, I loved the books for the warm friendships and soft moments between Sophie and Dex, and now we're lucky if they even really talk to each other if not to push the plot. Biana barely exists, Marella and Linh show up every once in a while to be gay as fuck and then leave, Stina turned nice and then immediately went back to being a bitch because SM, for some reason, un-did all her redemption, and everyone else fucks around until they're plot-relevant. Where's the squad where's the crew where's the homoerotic undertones?!

4. Miscellaneous whining

Fitz's character is wildly inconsistent imo. I love you Sophie but I'm going to consistently get mad at you over irrelevant things and ice you out even though you need my support! Your boyfriend is for the streets girl

Fuck this whole half-book thing I'm sorry. Understandably, things have slowed down now that SM has two kids and I'm really truly happy for her and I'm glad she's taking time out of her work for herself and her family. But when she keeps releasing these weird novellas every year as some kind of "solution", it really just seems like a cop-out or a cash grab. I wish we could tell Shannon that we don't necessarily need a 700+ page novel to consider it a book! I personally would love if book 10 was more concise!! Let's just get this plot moving a bit!!

Sophie burning Gisela's book BURNS MY BLOOD. SM just had no fucking idea what she wanted that book to say + it would probably end the series too quick so she got Sophie to burn the most crucial piece of information they could have ever used under pretense of "refusing to follow Gisela's trap" or whatever OH MY GOD

Sooo many dropped plot lines/plot holes there is no way this shit is being resolved in the next 1 and a half books. See you all in 2034 for book 13.125

Sokeefe endgame was great but so predictable. Half the reason most people read this series is for the will-they-won't-they thing with Sophie, Fitz, and Keefe (justice for Dex!), and I think it was executed very badly. You could predict that Sophie and Fitz would burn out, you could predict that she would end up with Keefe, there was net 0 suspense by the time Fitz made his 500th dick move. I know I just complained about things being stretched out for so long but this one could have done with some taking it slow without making it obvious what was going to happen

Can Marella and Linh just kiss already

Anyways this all comes from a place of loving frustration. Oh Keeper my love, look what has become of you. Ultimately, SM started a fantasy series without knowing the ending, and it's spun out of control, but what can you do? I appreciate the series for what it is, I wish it was better, but I'll always love it. Through all my bitching and moaning I'm still rereading it to this day so who's really winning here? Please rb and comment and dm I love discussing Keeper!!! If you think I'm an idiot tell me!!! If you agree with me tell me!!! Don't be a dick!! Thanks for making it this far! Don't forget to like and subscribe and smash that bell

[ticklepinions]

Internet Discourse Tips and Tricks

It can be so exhausting seeing discourse. Here are some hopefully helpful tips to take care of yourself

It's okay to take a break and step away! It can be a lot emotionally and quite triggering. I know it is so easy to doom scroll and spiral but pls try your best to distance yourself if you need!

If you're not reblogging every post that shows you support one side over the other thats okay. Its your blog you get to decide what you want to share or not. There are people who'd rather not share anything at all and thats also okay. It doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't mean you don't care

Use your outlets! Watch a good movie, go take a walk, talk to friends, journal, do whatever you need to get your mind away from the thunderous cloud of discourse

If you're like me, I feel like I may have rejection sensitivity (And I definitely am a recovering people pleaser) and being told I did something that hurt another person is literally the worst thing imaginable!!!! Take a step back! One bad action does not mean you are the worst person on the planet. Mistakes happen sometimes (ik I'm sorry). The important thing in the immediate moment is ensuring the person you harmed unintentionally is doing okay. Everyone responds differently so be respectful if they request some space.

While their feelings and emotions are important, so are yours. What do you need rn? Some water, a nice stretch, maybe a nap? Ultimately you also might want to reflect a bit and understand how you caused the harm so you can minimize it in the future

Block button is your everything. You don't need to surround yourself with people who don't share your views. You get to determine who you let into your circle.

Don't send hate. Regardless of your views or who's right and who's wrong, there is another human being behind the screen. I know you're angry and rightfully so, but just promise to be mindful. And if you do send hate at least don't be anonymous (/hj)

Feel free to share some more tips if you have any

[dailychell]

(link to a list of palestinian fundraisers that are low on funds)

(remember your daily click!)

greetings. this account is dedicated to posting chell from the portal series once a day. art is done by me, but i may have guest artists in the future. you can use my art, but i am hesitant to allow complete free use. i humbly request that you ask before using my art as a pfp or things of that nature, and also credit me. it would be much appreciated.

i do not have a DNI, but i do block freely. terfs, shipping discourse, and general nastiness are not tolerated here. be respectful of me, my art, and others. if you have nothing kind to say, say nothing.

i may post ship art occasionally, but for the most part it should be exclusively chell. i am a multishipper, so expect variety. i will tag any ships so that users with the tag blocked are free to browse this blog without seeing something they would rather not.

that said, hi from the guy behind this account. you can call me just about anything, but i am partial to 'blue' and 'chell.' my non-daily posts will be tagged with 'admin chell.' use whatever pronouns spark joy in you. i'm choosing to remain unrevealed for now. i think it makes things more fun for both of us.

send me whatever asks you feel like. just keep it safe for work, but like. a cool workplace where they're not prudes. you get it. requests (outfits, scenarios, color palettes, etc.) very welcome. i'll try to get to everything, but no promises. i reserve the right to refuse any request for any reason. i will likely just delete the ask, to save us both from dragging things out into the public. discussion of portal and its characters more than welcome, but don't treat this like a confession blog. please. we've all seen how that goes before. don't make me regret having anon asks enabled.

i'll sometimes give my opinion on things related to portal and its fanbase, and you are free to do the same under my posts and in my askbox, but i would really like to keep this blog lighthearted and discourse-free. be respectful and kind to your fellow fans. it's always okay to block someone. if things get bad, i will step in to take appropriate action. be advised: if you argue about pointless things under my posts, all participants will be blocked.

posts will begin when i feel i am ready, but hopefully soon. see you all then.

[neonbutchery]

yeah i think i'm gonna step away from everything bg3 related (minus modding) for a long while. i'm so burnt out on the game itself, on larian's actions and the subsequent criticisms after every patch (talking about stuff like kiss animation discourse, not genuine issues with the racism and antiblackness present on the dev team and fanbase), on the constant discourse ourobouros. sexuality discourse ascended astarion discourse look at a mod that yassifies astarion for the 50th time isn't it bad wow. it seems like this fandom is held together by an endless discourse machine instead of genuine love and passion and i'm tired of it. i will probably come back to bg3 in a future when things have hopefully calmed down, but right now, i really don't want to interact with anything related to it publicly and i'm gonna keep my fandom activity to only a few small discords.

feel free to unfollow me over it! if you only followed me for bg3 it's perfectly fine when i'm probably not gonna talk about it anymore. that being said, mutuals, i'd rather be softblocked if you're going to break the mutual

[joelscruff]

hi cat! 

to say the vibes have been off lately would be an understatement, wouldn’t it? because there has been a lot of negativity, too much for a place that is supposed to be about finding an outlet for your creativity and people to share your interests.

i know it has been difficult, draining to be around here and face all the discourse cankering the fandom. 

because of all this negativity, i believe it is important to try and balance it out with some kindness. so here i am, doing a little check-up on you <3

so first, how are you, really?

everything you feel regarding what is happening is valid and you deserve to feel happy and safe around here. so please, make sure you take the time you need from posting, from sharing fics, even just from being on the platform. i want you to know it’s okay and i support whatever you decide, for whatever reason.

i also want you to know that you have your place here, as much as the rest of us. you’re loved and wanted and i can assure you the fandom is a far better place with you in it.

i hope you’re taking care of yourself outside of tumblr as well. please remember to stay hydrated and to eat something 🫶🏼

now i would like you to sit back and enjoy the perfect, quiet night in with joel <3

do not hesitate to reach out if you need to talk, i’m here for you! sending you all my love and so many hugs 🫂

anna 💗

thank you anna, i appreciate this so much ❤️ i'm doing okay, taking a step back from posting fic at the moment (until my brain inevitably drags me back). i think, like a lot of other writers here rn, that i'm just trying to reformulate how i feel about this fandom and figure out where exactly my place in it is. hopefully i figure it out soon, love you 💖

[taylortruther]

You're so dead on with what you said about how people's lack of control in things that matter (my reps aren't listening to me! Laws are changing and I feel out of control! I vote but it doesn't seem to matter!) make virtue-signaling with things that don't matter (pop stars, movies, etc) stronger. The thing is, real, actual actions make sense (T being with MH is not ok for me, so I will be taking a step back from fandom) but what annoys me a lot is the constant TALKING about it but never doing anything (I'm selling my tickets! I hate what she's doing! So I'm going to loudly talk about it but never leave the fan space because I don't actually want to leave but I'm going to pretend I am at every moment so people will know I'm virtuous!)

At some point, like you said, if you stan someone (especially if they are famous/wealthy, let's be real, nobody is the 'good one') you've just got to make peace with it and keep it fun, I guess.

exactly - if someone has to quit the fandom, stop supporting her, and so on, i respect that a lot! i would never tell anyone not to do that if that's what their soul was telling them to do. but when you don't do anything except talk about it... that's a choice!

going off into the weeds here, but:

celebrities hold mirrors up to society. this mirror is telling us that people are fed up with many government decisions, and they will use any tool at their disposal. however... the tools are human beings, entertainers, no smarter/knowledgeable than the average person, and exceptionally unwilling to become a political tool. so, i think to myself: does it make sense for the masses to expend energy tearing down a celebrity for having the wrong political opinion? or does it make more sense to focus on the politicians or the other public figures who prop them up? clearly the latter. i think people should confront politicians in public, i think politicians should be afraid to lose or be harassed, because these are people who literally write and vote on and maintain laws.

the thing is, people feel civically disenfranchised, plus it can be hard to get involved (by design), so they feel they have more power when they cancel or critique celebrities. it's easier to do it. i know the celebrity criticism won't end, so my pragmatic hope this kind of public discourse educates more people AND encourages more of them to get involved in other ways - attend protests, donate money, become activists, etc.

fandom is how i became more socially involved as a teenager, because it made it more interesting/accessible to me. the art i consumed back then helped form my political convictions as an adult.

so tl;dr i don't focus on shaming celebrities over politicians but i think this is a natural consequence of civic disenfranchisement and i understand why it happens. hopefully it will do more good in the long run.

[beatingthedeadhorse]

Omega-verse Master Post - All info and links will be here

[Edit - this is going to link through to all the initial posts and ideas. When more discourse, and a more thorough approach is reached, an updated version in far greater detail will exist here, or probably on Ao3.]

So, I'm a little sick and tired of seeing 'non-traditional A/B/O dynamics' tags only to read the most misogynistic shit I've ever read - which is what traditional dynamics were - so lets make our own in a way that makes sense.

1 )

First of all, what is this dynamic? How does it work? What are secondaries? I will add resource posts below as I go.

Alphas [here]

Alpha Males

Alpha Females

Betas [here]

Beta Males

Beta Intersex/Hermaphrodites

Beta Females

Omegas [here]

Omega Males

Omega Females

Non-traditional additions

Trans A/B/O

Sigma/Delta/Gamma

Misconceptions (In-world and real world) [here]

2 )

Secondly, how did this dynamic come to be? Why is this here? What world building have you got in place to make an Omega-verse either necessary or interesting.

External Forces [here]

The Alien Theory

The Magic Theory

The Scientific Accident Theory

Genetic Path Always Meant To Be [here]

The Evolutionary Step Theory

The Lost Third Gender Theory

The Loneliness Theory

3 )

Thirdly, and I swear, if all of your Omega-verse content relies exclusively on the western and modern ideals on how relationships and society works, you're not trying hard enough. There are so many cultures and environments out there in our actual world that would change how these dynamics are treated. How would this work.

Social Structure, Standards, and Variations

Enironmental factors

Cultural diversity [Ethnicity here, Culture here]

Beauty Standards

Pack Structure and Politics [here]

Instincts Engrained in Genetics

4 )

Lastly, what resources exist in this world as a support for people, families, and communities. How do heat suppressants work? How do governments operate around a non-nuclear family unit?

Support, Education and Supplication

Planned Parenthoods for Omegas

Heat and Rut support

Suppressors and Pseudo Sexual Science

Sex Education in the Omega-verse

Births, Deaths, Marriage, and Divorce

These are all important considerations writers frequently forget when making A/B/O fiction. Hopefully, a thorough, and perhaps uselessly long extrapolation provides at least some clarity, and helps writers create a more complex world to operate with.

Any other advice from people who actually feel sexual needs would be nice, at this point.

[I will also take recommendations from the Trans community on how the fuck they want this to work in the Omega-verse, because you bet people are Trans in Omega-verse.

...

I can't believe I'm writing this. I don't even like this genre.]