#hopefully i fully recover
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#finished the week of antivirals yesterday#and they made a HUGE difference#just after the first dose i got so much energy back#the leg is still weak and i have foot drop#but i’ve had some improvement in ankle mobility#and i can move my toes a little better too#it really was shingles#which is WILD#hopefully i fully recover#the odds of full recovery after paresis from shingles are about 50-50#and it’ll be slow#nerves take a long time#but maybe in a few months my leg will be back#my back and pelvic pain is half what it was before the antivirals too#innko talks#chronic illness
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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..
#sculpture#fantasy art#fantasy creature#art#elf#lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal#stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing#over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you#do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things#up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put#them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY#I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin#of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned#eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL#but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah#Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik#25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li#like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c
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MY KING I AM ON MY KNEES BOWING FOR YOU!!!😭😭😭 OH MY GOD WHAT A BLESSING! WE’VE BEEN BLESSED!!!
#twisted wonderland#disney twst#leona kingscholar#twst leona#twst event#ive been sick with the cooties i havent kept up with twst#hopefully ill be fully recovered by the time this rolls by
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Having this massive urge to get bg3 on my laptop (I have a 1TB external hard drive) so I can play with more mods
#just really tempting since I can’t play on my ps5#I’m at my parents until I fully recover from bppv#hopefully that will be tomorrow#but I’m itching to play rn#talks with ali#ali plays bg3#bg3
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Okay I'm back,,,,the jello shots tried to kill me ((make me cause a scene at my friend's birthday party)) but I put up a good fight and in the end was able to defeat them ((didn't throw up)) I will learn from this experience and come back stronger ((next time I will take more jello shots))
#i was literally popping them into my mouth without thinking#my friend put edible glitter in them what was i supposed to do?? not eat them all???#but whatever i am in my own bed know#I'm getting my hair done tomorrow at 9 am hopefully i am fully recovered before then
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been recovering from a lot of things health-wise so its been nice seeing so many kind tags on my art as of late so. thanks!!!
#i should be fully recovered soon. hopefully!!#ive been sick for the past month straight and it has been. tough#but!! the niceness of the people is fueling my health!#yakoke. gracias. danke. other such words#doc talks
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looking at ur notes app after an episode...literally horrific.
#so many. scraps of poems. some decent and some that will never see the light of day.#im not...fully recovered rn but i feel a bit better. hopefully this means that the worst's over <- finally could sleep last night which#helped a lot 😭#in short: everything sucks and is awful but it's diff now bc i dont want to like. off myself. which is always a surprise and a joy 👍
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#im at my limit#i just need to push through the next 72 hours somehow#and then find a garage on monday to get my car fixed#and then i can just crash and sleep and hopefully fully cover#the amount of times ive had to do breathing exercises today 😶#recover*
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Internet went back up today and is still up at the moment *knock on wood*, but I was dealing with some bad feelings today and only got a little drawing done.
#doodletext#nothing bad happened today... i'll be honest i still haven't fully recovered from the bad stuff last month#i'm not sure it'll ever fully go away... but today was just a bad day and tomorrow will hopefully be better
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yay my battery only when down 10% in 30 mins instead of 100%
#other#t talks#i think its cooked in minecraft hell long enough!#still not a good as before it froze but definitely an improvement!#tonight im gonna put it under a blanket next to a heating pad so it doesnt freeze#and hopefully the battery will be fully recovered in the morning#it was frozen for about 2 hours. which isnt great. but also isnt a super long time. so hopefully no permanent damage
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For some reason YouTube is letting me do polls now so hey, why not vote about which kinds of speed draw videos you like more
#Not that it's gonna make much of a difference until all the Requestobers are posted anyway but hey! After that!#It's just a two-choice preference about sketches - do you like seeing the entire process vs. skipping right to refining the sketch#I haven't voted so quick go vote before I influence your decision by telling you which one I like -#I think it's easier to make a scratch sketch on paper first which obviously can't be screen-recorded lol#I think it makes for a more consistent final product since it makes sure that I've got /some/thing down to go off of#But I understand wanting to see the process from start to finish I also really enjoy watching sketches come from nothing#So really just vote for whichever you like more lol - consistency vs. novelty (I guess?? Lol)#Also thinking about doing another stream once I'm fully recovered and find a good space to draw for a while#I've built up a bunch of scratch doodles that I'd like to do Something with sometime soon#Might not be til the new year but I'm planning it hopefully sooner than later!#It's just me hoping I'm recovered and settled sooner than later lol
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my skin is so shitty rn :/
#I'd be so much more confident doing this whole trip if my skin wasn't literally like the surface of hot lava#it hurts. like that's how bad it's gotten. it hurts to move my facial muscles#and people openly go oh my god are you fully recovered yet should you be outside#bc it looks. deep sigh. like I might have measles or chickenpox or something.#I'm so.#the adapalene was working but I had to stop it bc I was commuting under the hot summer sun and it gave me the skin cancer h.j.s#I'll resume it when we get back from the trip and hopefully it still works#but yeah ://///// chagrin at having to meet an important person face to face while my face is like this :(#thought
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I need to Create but my fuckin immune system said woe strep throat for 10000 years so now I'm lucky if I can even sit up in bed for an hour rn
#hopefully I'll feel better in a few days I've got penicillin n shit but like. bruh#my immune system still hasn't fully recovered from the strep I had in August. and November. and now the long covid.#like atp I'm thinking I'll just keep getting worse every time j have strep. which is at least like 4 times a year.#armchair speaks
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woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better
#only slept 4 hrs yesterday so was rly hoping to get a solid nights sleep today bc i probably won't tonight....#but i didnt sigh. but my options are either to plough thru w today and make myself do this even tho i dont rly feel like it#or cancel plans and stay in and mope which will inevitably turn into self harm so rly the latter is a non option lmao#its all okay ill get into the swing of things n have a good time once im thereee#and i always knew i was gonna feel a bit like this like its an open wound for me i just need to be careful not to touch it#bc how i feel isnt based in reality its just insecurity n vulnerability n ik it can take months to fully recover from a previous episode#and part of the recovery process needs to involve facing potentially triggering situations instead of avoiding them#bc otherwise ill get increasingly worse bc its not possible to always avoid and ill be defenceless again when it does happen again etc#like its part of rebuilding my sense of self n confidence n hopefully i can eventually start to trust other ppl again n lower my guard#bc it sucks being contorted into this defensive pose all the time and i would like to allow myself to feel genuine connection w others !!#and to stop instinctively flinching and waiting for the hit im tired of my mind telling me ppl r lying + trying to hurt me when theyre not#im being a bit dramatic like i am doing a LOT better than i was a few weeks ago. n i def can handle this one#and the risk of triggering myself is much much lower anyway in this specific situation. so long as theyre not hiding shit from me again#i can think of several ways that risk could skyrocket n unexpectedly spiral out of my control n it makes it hard to breathe just imagining#but i need to believe that it wont. so if-no WHEN it doesnt then next time ill have proof that i can navigate it n i wont feel so anxious#it makes me laugh how stupid this is from an outside perspective. my brain causes me so much weird n 100% unnecessary distress#but its the only brain ive got n will always have so i need to work with it!!#anyway all that aside i genuinely am rly looking forward to this afternoon!! ive rly wanted to start doing more nice things for myself#n the fact it coincides w missing smth that could incite my rsd is kind of for the best even if it is making me anxious#i cant let my life revolve around anticipating how ppl might upset me n basing my decisions off minimising that damage#n while it would be nice to have company.. well ik its just as fun going alone bc ive done it before! n i need a reminder of that#ah im gonna turn myself in circles if i think much more. i dont need to justify anything#i hope they have a nice time and i hope i have a nice time and i hope that eventually someday we can have a nice time together instead#of separately. and i hope that someday ill feel included and wanted by other ppl and wont be posting on tumblr every time this happens LOL#this comes across like im saying i need to learn how to enjoy my own company or whatever but i prommy i already do..#what i actually need to learn is how to trust n enjoy the company of ppl i care abt without constantly being scared theyll hurt me....#but thats not happening today cuz i got other plans woooo OKAYY im gonna stop ruminating and get some chores done sjdkfh#.vent#<- well not rly a vent bc its not like im channelling feelings here im just rambling bc i have a lot on my mind. but still#this is prolly incoherent i keep putting my phone down and doing other things and then adding another thought LOL
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wow it is pretty wild that i actually cried in fencing and when i say wild i mean embarrassing because no others cried when hit with the ball (from the foot to the face) not even the children 😐
#though to be fair children werent hit in the face#but its ok i shouldnt compare myself to anyone else#i actually almost cried twice so i guess i did that#hopefully coach doesnt think im weak cause im fucking not. its just a few tears#in my defence the previous day was FILLED with tears so it’s uneerstandable that i wasnt fully recovered then#it wasnt bad crying just tears under my eyes#but since the people there are so kind i am very fortunate to not be judged. at least openly#anyway cant wait for tomorrow morning’s practice#mylife
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kiss prompt: an awkward kiss given after a first date from this list
word count: 348
“Alright,” Bakugou comments, lightly tapping your front door as you approach. “This is your place.”
“It is,” you confirm, a smile on your face as you remind him that it was the same apartment he’d picked you up from just a few hours ago. The reminder has him choking on air, and you lean back against your door as you watch him try to recover.
It's funny, seeing this usually overconfident man all flustered and nervous just because you were smiling up at him. He’d said a few times that he didn’t do stuff like this, dating and getting to know people, so you appreciate that he was trying for you - as uncomfortable as it seemed to be for him. He fidgets a bit with his hands, fighting to bring his eyes back to yours as you wait patiently since it seemed like he wanted to do something. After a moment of staring, you turn to put your key in the lock, knowing that if you didn’t make a move you’d end up staring at him on your porch all night.
“Well, hopefully we do this again sometime soon,” you comment, looking over your shoulder only to be surprised by the brush of his lips against your cheek as you turn.
“I didn’t mean to be so close, you had something on your-“
You cut him off with a kiss, nothing glamorous but enough to get him to pause for just a moment. His palm is sweaty as it cups your chin, and you can tell that he’s not exactly sure what to do here but you’re hoping that this helps him eliminate whatever doubts he might’ve been having about your interest in spending time with him.
“Don’t go around telling people I’m some nervous loser,” he requests as he pulls away, something that has you shaking your head as you turn the key fully to unlock your door. The guy would never change.
“Your sweaty palms will be our secret,” you tease, earning a grunt of displeasure before he tells you to "get good sleep, or whatever".
#Bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n#mhax y/n#mha fics#bakugou fics#bakugou imagines#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou x you#katsuki bakugou x y/n#bakugo imagines#mha bakugo
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