#hopefully i dont get sick i love the cold so i leave my window open all winter or cold temperature | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

itssolonelyhere · 4 years ago

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I dont know if you prompts or requests but can you do a Sakura or Joker being sick and the other having to take care of them from Tyaku and Queen? I like both versions of her from each and wonder how theyd react to it.

To be honest, I never gave it any thought. This is a good idea to flex my writing muscles and give me a break from the mountain of revisions I’m working on. I’ll give it a go and hopefully, it’s not too bad… I’ll do one for Tsūyaku now and when I’m done work, another for Queen of the Rhombus. If you have any more, I don’t mind doing them.

Tsūyaku – Sakura’s sick in bed when J comes back from a job.

It's hot. Too damn hot.

Sakura groans and tears her eyes away from the ceiling to stare out the window. The snow's still falling and it doesn't seem as if it'll stop soon. It's a beautiful sight that would have delighted her on most days, but she can't find it in herself to relish the view.

Green eyes watch the feathered crystals dancing in the wind, twirling around as it gently falls to the ground. It's a struggle to crane her neck up, hoping to see how much area it covers since she fell asleep. To her surprise, everything outside is pure white, leaving nothing untouched. The dead trees and grass, the bench where she likes to sit on to read, the van parked alongside the building, even the wrap-around porch. All blanketed by winter's frosty kiss and it's so dazzling that it's hard to look at for too long.

The darkening sky is still white, but she can tell it's getting late without rolling over to check the clock. Dropping against the mattress, Sakura lets out a shuddered breath and swallows hard. Being sick is a miserable experience that leaves her with nothing to do aside from mulling over everything that worries her. It's foolish, she knows, but part of her is still concerned.

Joker's been gone for a few days, which isn't unusual at all. Sometimes he stays for brief periods in the city for his 'job', but always comes back. Usually, it's with a cocky smirk and filthy clothes, yet on those few occasions that he doesn't… Someone ends up in the basement where he spends hours doing God-knows-what with his tools. The pinkette knows what goes on down there and it's not a secret, either.

That area is off-limits, especially to her, and Rocco is the only one that's alive who's seen it. If curiosity got the best of her and she took a tour, it will only haunt the pinkette's days and night. She doesn't enjoy that kind of 'entertainment' and Joker knows that. Snooping around might end up in a little punishment, but that's about it. Anyone else would be terrified at the thought, and rightfully so. Her discipline doesn't end with broken bones, missing limbs, or death.

Hearing the familiar stomping up the stairs, Sakura wants to push herself up the bed to greet him. Another trickle of sweat trails along the pale skin of her face from the effort, but she can't muster the strength to even sit up. It's pathetic to find herself in such a state, especially with her abilities. The pinkette can't remember the last time she was sick, let alone to this degree. With a strained groan, she gives up and settles into the mattress, waiting for him to burst through the door.

The doorknob twists and she peers over the fluffy duvet to see a tall figure standing at the threshold. Just as she expects, Joker looks like a mess as he stalks into the bedroom, leaving a wet trail of shoe prints across the hardwood floor. His purple trench coat has splotches of ash and dried blood, mixed with other substances she'd rather not think about. The greasepaint is smeared and missing in patches, revealing his tan skin beneath, with the rest weeping down his face. As always, J's hair is a faded, stringy mess that never listens to any commands, just like its owner. No matter when she catches him, he forever has the appearance of a wild madman.

And that's just fine.

Right away, his brow furrows when he notices her lying beneath the covers, unnaturally pale and sweaty. Usually, Sakura is busy doing something or another, whether it's reading or wrapped up in a craft. Not today. Those black pits in his sockets narrow on her as he shrugs off his trench coat, tossing it over the back of a chair. They make her want to shrink into nothingness, no matter how many times she gazes into them.

He moves to stand at the end of the bed, staring without saying a word. It's hard to tell if he's in a pleasant mood or not when it's like this. No one's better at keeping everything hidden than him, whether it's his thoughts, feelings, or intentions.

"I missed you…" Her voice is low and raspy, trying to suppress a cough working its way up. All-day the pinkette's been hacking up and the sensation of blades dancing along her throat won't go away.

The side of his mouth quirks up at her words, even if it seems like someone's tugging on it with a fishline. She knows Joker won't repeat it back, but it's his eyes that give him away. He always says they're the gateway to the soul and in the privacy of their room, they can reveal what his words won't.

"You're sick." It's not a question or guess, and she knows it. He can always tell when something's off or not right, no matter if she tries to hide it. They grew up together, and he's already seen it all, even if she's still missing pieces to their puzzle.

Sakura gives him a weary, apologetic smile, trying to ignore the pounding in her head. When he comes home, she likes to greet him and show how much she missed him, whether he disappears for a day or five. Right now, her aching muscles can't bear to even get herself up.

"Hmm…" Joker grunts and saunters off towards the bathroom and she almost calls after him. From the looks of his clothes, he can use a good shower, but those are trivial matters to him. Even if she wants to spend time with him, he's a busy man and has been gone for days.

Sighing, the pinkette leans back against the pillow and closes her eyes. Jack will come to her when he's ready and needs his space. Who knows what kind of shit-show he just pulled off? She might as well try to get some sleep and hopefully, this sickness will run its course faster.

'I need to get better soon. I'm useless like this.'

Something sopping wet and cold drops onto her face, jolting Sakura back to her senses. Sputtering from the water running down her skin, she reaches up in surprise and yanks it away. Joker's looming over the side of the bed and arches a brow, trying to hold back a cackle she knows is coming. Glancing at her hand, there's a soaking, wet rag he didn't bother wringing out.

'Fucking figures…'

"Keep it on your forehead, doll." Despite his expression, there's something playful in his pitch-dark, glassy eyes. When she doesn't move, he snatches the rag and folds it over, smacking it against her forehead. Beads of cold water trail down her temples into the pink hair strewn over the pillow and she bites her lip to keep back a retort. Most people would see this as being heavy-handed and crude, but she knows better. This is his version of care and it's the best he can do. This is more than she can ask for. It's the intent and effort that's appreciated, even if J's harsh with everything he does.

The cool rag feels heavenly against her heated skin and she breaks out in goosebumps from the difference. A breathy sigh spills from her lips and he smirks at the reaction.

"We're not done yet." Sakura finally notices what's in his gloved hand. A bottle of medicine and a spoon. She has no clue where the spoon came from and doesn't ask. It'll only result in a vague or arrogant remark, neither she wants to deal with at the moment.

Watching him fiddling with the cap, the pinkette can't help recalling all the times she did this in the past for him. Eight years ago, when his mouth was healing after being slashed open. He consistently kept tearing the stitches open, and they became so infected, yet he refused to go to the hospital. Jack was always so goddamn stubborn and never listens, even if it results in making himself suffer twice as long.

"Open up." The spoon is right near her lips, and she grimaces from the strong scent of the medication. It's dark red and reminds her of blood, but she'd rather smell that over this. Noticing her expression and distaste, gloved fingers pinch her stuffy nose, and she reluctantly opens her mouth. The nasty liquid runs down her throat as the metal clangs against her teeth, making sure she takes all of it.

"Don't spit it out or I'll have to punish ya." Joker pops his lips, ignoring the way she's kicking her feet around under the covers and the disgruntled noises eating away at the small amount of energy she has left. It's disgusting, and he knows how much she hates medicine, but she needs it. Sometimes people have to do what's necessary for the ones they care about.

"Gross!" She swats his hand away from her nose, letting annoyance overpower her exhaustion. If looks can kill, Batman would have one less chaotic problem to deal with.

"How 'bout ya just relax? Hmm? Ya won't get better by being a pain in the ass." This time, J doesn't restrain the cackle that's been building up in his chest. It's harsh on the ears, but Sakura finds it enjoyable and contagious, causing her annoyance to wane. She can never stay angry at him long, no matter what he does.

"That's my girl." He leans down and kisses the tip of her nose, leaving a red smudge behind. That only makes his fit worse, falling into hysterics. She never understands why he finds leaving greasepaint on her face so funny, but that doesn't stop her from smiling.

"Heh. Looks good on ya." Grabbing the rag, he wipes it off before dropping it back in place. She frowns at the water running down her neck, even if it feels good. J is such a weird man, but she loves him anyway in all his vicious glory.

Joker's eyes don't leave hers as he toes off his battered dress shoes and starts plucking the buttons of his green waistcoat. When he was standing next to the bed, she noticed everything's wet and cold from being out in the snow. If the pinkette wasn't so sick, she'd help take it all off for him and use herself as bait to tempt the clown into a hot shower. That's the best way to get him cleaned up, otherwise, he doesn't care about any of it. He'll go filthy for days without batting one of those heavy, shadowy lids.

"How'd it go? Did you guys have any problem with the snow?" Jack frowns after throwing his belt on the floor when the inquiry causes a coughing fit that makes her small body shake beneath the duvet. His lip curls up and she thinks he's about to snarl, but it doesn't come. Stamping across the hardwood floor, he clicks his tongue and throws the covers off his side of the bed and flops down.

For a moment, Sakura thinks he might be angry that she asked. Since the day they ran into each other, he never really liked talking about his 'job' to her but has been opening up a little more as time goes by. Sometimes he complains about a goon making a grievous error that Joker rectifies with a bullet or attempts to lure the Bat out from whatever cave he's been hiding in after Dent's death. The pinkette finds it all fascinating and exciting, even if it's terrible, but this is who Jack is now. He revels in the explosions and fires, all the mayhem and complicated plans.

"Shaddap if it hurts to talk." He grunts and slides across the mattress, dragging the duvet back over. Sakura shifts to look at him, watching the clown leaning his bare back against the headboard. The muscle in his cheeks twitches and he mutters something under his breath, but she can't pick up on it.

'What's he doing now?'

"C'mere." Despite telling her to come to him, he scoots over and the bed dips under his weight. Laying on his side, J moves closer until there's no room left. She knows he missed her, even if the words won't come out. Actions always speak louder and prove more than anything else. Sweet-nothings and heartfelt confessions are what most people yearn for, but Sakura would rather a man show her the truth than speak lies.

This is his form of care, even if it's gruff and obnoxious. Jack's violent, arrogant, manipulative, and downright cruel most of the time. However, it's those specks in between that’s saved especially for her that makes the rest inconsequential. The clown keeps her safe from the other monsters that lurk in the shadows throughout the city. They won't hesitate to rip her to pieces or abuse her ability, unlike this man. He likes the pinkette staying whole, even if their nights result in minor cuts and bruises in the shape of a large hand or long fingers. It's nothing she can't heal and they both have fun causing them. That's what happens when a man's rough in bed and he does it right.

Sakura closes her eyes when he buries his face in her hair, greedily breathing in her scent. J treats it like huffing in fumes he's trying to high from and never wants to stop. A hand slithers under the sheets and rests on her abdomen, drawing lazy circles over the thin fabric of her shirt with his fingers. He's been doing this more often lately, and she's not sure why but is worried he might stop if she asks. It's soothing and helps lull her into a peaceful state, letting all the worries from outside the bedroom melt right off her shoulders. Nothing matters anymore, except the two of them.

The small action elicits a groan from the pinkette as she leans her head against his chest, finding a comfortable spot. His skin is always so warm as if the fire he loves so much dances just beneath the surface. It's like having a safe, heated blanket wrapped around her that no one can get through. As long as she stays here, nothing can touch her besides him and the thought is oddly pleasant.

"Well, doll… Since ya asked so nicely and you're stuck in bed, might as well give ya some entertainment while I'm here." Sakura knows what that means. He wants to paint a vivid picture of his exploits from his excursion in the city, yet is trying to make it seem like he's doing her a favor. The showman in him enjoys the applause and awe he's able to draw out from her by giving every gory detail and miraculous feat, becoming completely smug from his ingenuity and perseverance.

"Great. I want to hear it." She coughs again and her voice is still raspy. He can feel her muscles jolt from each one as his fingers pulse against the flimsy material. The moment the fit stops, the pinkette jerks when he pinches her cheek, giving it a little tug to get his point across.

"I thought I told ya not to talk if it hurts? Hmm?" Glancing up, he has an exaggerated frown that almost looks like a wide smile from her angle. His tongue snakes out to prod the broken skin of his scar, waiting until she slowly nods before continuing.

"Good. Just re-lax and I'll tell ya all about my little run-in with the, ah, Bat."

#Heath Ledger Joker #joker #joker x sakura #oneshot #care #couple stuff #sweet and sour #caveman #the dark knight #crossover #Sakura Haruno #Naruto crossover #fanfiction #medicine #crime #request #I like this

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skswriting · 6 years ago

Text

here kitty, kitty

Rating: T Pairing: Jimin/Jeongguk Words: 8719 Summary: “Hi sweetie,” he coos, slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position so he doesn’t spook the cat off, “Wow, you’re so cute, where did you come from?” Jimin extends a hand, making small come-hither motions with his fingers as he tuts with his tongue, trying to coax the cat to come to him. The cat meows at him, scratchy and almost pitiful, before it slinks slowly towards him. “Aw that’s it, there we go, I’m not scary, am I?” AN: I stopped posting on tumblr as I was posting to ao3 my bad lol

day one)

Jimin is sad. Not in an I just want to curl up in my bed and never leave kind of sad, but more of a my day didn’t go as planned and also Jeongguk is ignoring me kind of sad. Said boy hadn’t been at school earlier that day, which was weird, not only because Jeongguk never missed school but also because Jeongguk would have told him and Taehyung if he wasn’t feeling well. But as it is, his phone is almost mockingly devoid of any texts from Jeongguk, except from the last one sent the night before: an innocent and adorable good night text that still has Jimin smiling softly.

Jimin sighs, dropping his phone back in his lap as he lets himself fall back against the grass, staring up at the sunlight flittering through oak leaves. He had been trying to study, but he couldn’t stop his thoughts from wandering to the younger boy time and time again. It was frustrating. He wasn’t going to pass algebra at this rate.

A sound has Jimin twisting onto his side, eyes narrowing as he tries to figure out what had made it and where it came from. Some of the shrub branches that separate his yard from his neighbor’s shake sporadically. Jimin figures it’s just the rabbit that likes to eat all of his neighbor’s lettuce. He goes to lay back down when a little head pokes out of the shrub and it is most definitely not a rabbit. It’s a cat; a fairly large one at that, with pretty red fur (Ginger, Jimin smiles, thinking about the cat he’s been obsessing over in Neko Atsume). Its ears are entirely black, however, the only discoloration on the beautiful cat.

“Hi sweetie,” he coos, slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position so he doesn’t spook the cat off, “Wow, you’re so cute, where did you come from?”

Jimin extends a hand, making small come-hither motions with his fingers as he tuts with his tongue, trying to coax the cat to come to him. The cat meows at him, scratchy and almost pitiful, before it slinks slowly towards him.

“Aw that’s it, there we go, I’m not scary, am I?” he continues to coo, lowering his hand so the cat can tentatively sniff his fingers once it’s close enough, “Aw you’re such a pretty kitty.”

Jimin holds his breath as the cat sniffs at his fingers and then smiles once the cat nudges its head against his palm to make Jimin pet it.

“You’re so friendly, do you belong to someone? I don’t see a collar, are you a stray? Aw, but how can you be a stray when you’re so pretty?” Jimin giggles, scratching the cat under its chin.

To his surprise, the cat lets out a long purr, eyes shutting as it steps closer to Jimin to try and get Jimin to pet it more. Jimin feels like he’s radiating with happiness as the cat steps into his lap, patting at Jimin’s other hand like it wants Jimin to use both hands to pet it.

“Oh my God you’re so precious,” Jimin squeals as the cat curls into his lap, purring loudly and looking content as Jimin rubs its head and runs a hand down it’s back.

That’s how Jimin spends the majority of his afternoon, back cramping up from having to sit in one position for so long and fingers chilled from the crisp breeze. But his lap is warm, and the cat seems happy with all the attention Jimin is lavishing it with and it makes Jimin forget about Jeongguk, if for a moment.

Jimin comes back to himself when his mom slides the patio door open loudly to call out, “Honey, it’s dinner time!”

The little bubble they’ve created is popped and Jimin startles, which startles the cat who digs sharp claws into his thighs.

“Ouch,” Jimin jerks his leg back and the cat scrambles out his lap to stand a few feet away from him, “Damn that hurt.”

Jimin gets to his feet, knees popping as he stretches his legs out and the cat sits down, tail swishing lightly behind it.

“I have to go now,” Jimin tells the cat, like it can understand him, “Have a good night, find somewhere warm to sleep, okay?”

The cat meows at him and Jimin blinks, surprised at the response, before he smiles and reaches out slowly to give the cat one last pat. He’s still smiling as he steps up onto his patio, but turns around when he hears another meow, less scratchy but still pitiful. The cat is sitting at the base of the steps, staring widely up at Jimin, like it’s begging him not to leave.

Jimin’s heart strings tug and he feels bad, crouching down and reaching out towards the cat. It hurries towards him immediately, bumping its head against Jimin’s hand before weaving its way between his legs.

“Stop making me feel bad, I have to go inside now, it’s dinner time,” he tells the cat, who, of course, doesn’t listen to him and continues to make figure eights between his legs, “Kitty, stop, I’m going to fall, and I’ll squish you. Do you want to get squished?”

The cat meows and Jimin laughs, grabbing the cat softly to get it to stop moving so he can stand up easier.

“Jimin!” his mom calls, “Quit messing with that cat and come wash your hands! We’re not going to wait for you all night!”

Jimin laughs, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll be right there!” before he turns back to the cat he still has in his hands, “I’m going now.”

The cat meows at him, reaching a paw out and snagging onto Jimin’s pant leg with one of his claws, almost like it doesn’t want him to go. But Jimin has to go, he could hear the irritation in his mom’s voice.

“Go home now, okay?” Jimin gives the cat’s head one last final pat before he gently extracts its claws from his pants and steps back. He makes a slight shooing motion with his hand, but the cat sits down on the steps instead and watches Jimin slide the door open before sliding it close.

As Jihyun exasperatedly pulls Jimin away from the door, Jimin can see the cat watching him intently, yellow eyes glinting in the faint patio light. He almost feels guilty.

It’s almost eleven and Jimin is sneaking down the stairs, masterfully dodging the squeaky step he’s learned about from years of raiding the fridge. Except tonight is not a raid the fridge night, it’s a I’m a soft person and I’m worried about this random cat night.

Jimin, smartly, doesn’t turn the patio light on as he slides the door open, using the dim light of his phone screen instead. He’s afraid that even the flashlight of his phone would be too much, and he takes shaky steps out into the cold, shining his phone around as he tries to catch some hint of ginger.

“Are you still out here?” he calls softly, standing in the middle of his patio as he slowly turns in circles, “Here kitty, kitty.”

He makes soft sounds, hoping to attract the cat if it’s still hanging around, a blanket thrown over his arm. When it becomes clear to Jimin that the cat still isn’t around he sighs, before bundling the blanket up on one of the patio chairs.

“In case he comes back and gets cold,” Jimin says to himself, like he’s trying to justify what he’s doing.

He feels a little silly, standing out in the chilly night in shorts, setting up a blanket bed for a cat that’s not even his. He’s always had a soft spot for animals, stray or otherwise, but there’s just something about the little ginger cat that had tugged on his heartstrings. Maybe it had been how desperate the cat had seemed for affection. Regardless, Jimin lingers on the patio for a few more moments, making soothing clicking sounds with his tongue in hopes of drawing out the cat. When his backyard remains still, he goes back up to his room, stealthily shutting the door behind him.

He’s going to plug his phone in to charge when he sees the notification light blinking blue. A text.

from: jeonggukkie ♡

ah i hope i didn’t worry you today hyung!

from: jeonggukkie ♡

i got sick this morning and couldn’t come to school :(

Jimin breathes out a sigh of relief, all irritation at the younger not having texted him flying out the window. Hopefully, one more day of rest and Jeongguk would be back to being his bright and annoying self. Jimin really missed him.

to: jeonggukkie ♡

aish, you kid i was worried for nothing

Jimin proceeds to send Jeongguk a flurry of angry emojis, which gets him a laughing and eye rolling emoji in return.

from: jeonggukkie ♡

always so dramatic hyung i bet your day was really boring without me huh

Jimin smiles as he flops onto his bed, bringing the screen closer to his face. The contact photo of Jeongguk smiles back down at him and it makes Jimin feel a little bit closer to him, a little bit better.

to: jeonggukkie ♡

you wish. i actually had a pleasant day without some brat stealing my lunch

to: jeonggukkie ♡

are you coming back tomorrow?

to: jeonggukkie ♡

not like i care, just gotta prepare myself for the bullying

from: jeonggukkie ♡

i bully you out of love hyung :(

from: jeonggukkie ♡

but im not sure yet, i guess we’ll find out in the morning

to: jeonggukkie ♡

better get some sleep then even though im sure you napped all day

from: jeonggukkie ♡

if i didn’t know any better id think you were telling me to go to bed because you dont like me :(

from: jeonggukkie ♡

good thing i know better

from: jeonggukkie ♡

good night hyung i hope i see you tomorrow

Jimin inhales sharply, rolling over to squash the squeal he lets out into his pillow.

to: jeonggukkie ♡

night brat. get better soon

Jeongguk replies with a heart emoji and Jimin is positive he smiles the entire night in his sleep.

day two)

Jeongguk doesn’t make it to school the next day and Jimin is sad, but less sad than he was the day before. He’s texted Jeongguk a few times throughout the day but had only received a good morning text. He supposes it’s better than the radio silence he received the day before.

Even though he’s preoccupied with thoughts of Jeongguk, he also can’t get the ginger cat out of his head. He’s worried something could have happened to it the night before. Though it didn’t have a collar or any kind of identifier, it didn’t look like a stray or outside cat and he’s afraid if something did happen, it wouldn’t know how to defend itself.

But he doesn’t have to worry for long, because when he gets home and passes by the patio doors he can distinctly see a ginger blob curled up in the blanket he had set out the night before.

Jimin is smiling widely when he slides the door open slowly, so as to not disturb the cat who is sleeping peacefully, curled up tight into a ball and nose tucked slightly into the blanket. Jimin’s heart squeezes as he crouches down near the chair and calls out to it softly.

“Hi kitty, kitty,” he croons and the cat rumbles in its sleep.

Jimin laughs and softly pats at the cat’s head. The cat makes a soft noise of surprise and uncurls. It seems to awaken more fully when it sees that its Jimin whose petting it.

“I’m so glad to see you’re alright,” Jimin smiles sweetly and the cat closes its eyes and begins to purr when Jimin scratches behind it’s ears, “I was worried about you last night, but I see you like this blanket.”

Jimin spends the better part of an hour just cuddling with the cat, having picked it up and sat in the chair five minutes after having stepped outside. The cat seems utterly content, its head laying on Jimin’s chest and kneading softly at Jimin with one paw, its tail thumping against the back of the chair rhythmically. Jimin takes a selfie with the cat at some point and sends it both to Jeongguk and Taehyung.

Taehyung of course spams him with heart eyes and question marks and Jeongguk doesn’t say anything. Jimin tries not to let it get to him and shoves his phone back into his pocket. When he turns back to look at the cat, he can see that the cat is already lazily looking up at him.

“Sorry, did I disturb you?” Jimin coos and the cat blinks at him, “I sent a picture of us to my friends. Taehyung is in love with you, of course, but that’s to be expected. Taehyung loves everything furry with four legs. Jeongguk though…”

Jimin pauses. The cat makes a soft, almost chittering sound, like he’s encouraging Jimin to continue talking and even though Jimin feels ridiculous talking to a cat, he supposes talking about it will make him feel better.

“Jeongguk’s been sick the past two days,” Jimin murmurs and the cat blinks at him, “and he hasn’t really been talking to me. I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining but it’s just… Jeongguk doesn’t not talk to me, you know? Well, you don’t know, you’re a cat, but Jeongguk is supposed to be annoying me every waking moment and he’s not and… God, I sound so petty, don’t I? I just miss him, I think. Maybe if he doesn’t come to school tomorrow, I’ll go visit him. He’s probably really sick and I’m here complaining that he’s not texting me.”

Jimin lets out a laugh that sounds more like a huff, letting his head fall back against the back of the chair, staring up at the sky. The cat’s purring is nice and steady, its weight warm against Jimin’s chest and despite the Jeongguk situation, Jimin can’t help but smile.

“I see why people get therapy pets,” Jimin says, running a hand down the cat’s back and it stretches, letting out a yawn and laying its arm across Jimin, paw brushing against his neck.

It’s comfortable, cuddling with the cat, but Jimin knows he has to study for his history test in a few days or he’s going to fail it. With a heavy heart, Jimin shifts, cradling the cat in his arms as he stands up. The cat startles in his grip, eyes flying open as it watches him. He smiles as he sets the cat back in the blankets, fluffing it up a little around the cat, before petting it one last time.

“I have to go now, I’ll see you later.”

The cat gives a pitiful meow as Jimin steps away and Jimin feels awful, but his history grade isn’t the best and he needs to do well on this test. Jimin turns back to uselessly tell this to the cat, because how is the cat going to understand what he’s talking about, except the cat isn’t in the chair. Jimin’s eyebrows furrow and he turns back to the sliding door to see the cat sitting beside it, watching him intently.

“You can’t come inside!” Jimin says, scandalized, putting a hand over his heart for a dramatic effect, “My mom would skin me alive if I let a cat in!”

The cat meows again, batting at the door, eyes big and round. Jimin can feel his resolve crumbling, staring at that cute, fuzzy face. Really, what can an hour or two hurt? His parents will never know.

“Fine,” Jimin hisses and the cat perks up, “But only for a little bit! When my mom gets home you have to go back outside!”

The cat meows, seemingly in agreement, and Jimin shakes his head. He must be going insane.

Jimin is sitting on his bed, the cat curled up in his lap and sleeping soundly, his history book propped up on his knees and his notes spread beside him. They’ve been sitting like this for hours, despite a few heart pounding moments when Jimin’s mom had come home and he waited to see if she was going to check on him. He was relieved when she had merely knocked on his door and apologized for being late, telling him dinner would be ready shortly.

“Speaking of dinner, you must be hungry,” Jimin considers the cat in his lap, whose ears twitch in recognition of being spoken to but keeps its eyes shut, “After we eat I’ll see if I can find something for you, but then you have to go, okay?”

The cat lets out a deep sigh and Jimin rolls his eyes, “Brat.”

Jimin shuts his book and sets it to the side before he slides further down on his bed, so he’s resting comfortably on his back. The cat digs its claws into him to prevent itself from falling off Jimin’s stomach and Jimin winces. When he stops moving, the cat crawls further up his body, laying itself on his chest and nestling its head in the crook of his neck.

Jimin can feel the smile on his face and he lays a hand on the cat’s head. The purring starts up almost instantaneously and Jimin’s smile grows wider, as his own eyes shut in contentment.

His cat nap is interrupted by a knock on his door and Jihyun pushing it open slightly to call through the crack, “Hyung, it’s dinner time.”

“I’ll be right down,” Jimin tells him groggily, patting at the lump on his chest as his door clicks closed, “Okay, here’s the deal. Don’t be a nuisance while I’m gone. If my parents hear you, they’ll throw you out and then they’ll probably throw me out. Do you want both of us to be homeless?”

The cat doesn’t even acknowledge Jimin, just stands and stretches, claws digging into Jimin’s chest as it does so before it hops off to curl up beside Jimin’s pillow instead.

“Is that all you can do? Sleep?” Jimin scoffs, but he reaches out to scratch behind its ear all the same.

The resounding purr he gets in response makes Jimin smile and he practically skips down the stairs, sliding into the dining room on his socks.

“Hi mom,” he kisses her cheek and she blinks at him, eyes drooping a little in exhaustion, “Oh man, you look haggard, long day?”

“Don’t be a brat,” she responds, reaching out to pinch his cheek good naturedly and he laughs.

Jimin takes his seat near his dad and is opening his mouth to ask how his day went when his dad sneezes. And then sneezes again. And then again.

“What’s wrong?” his mom asks, setting her cup down with a worried look.

Jihyun fetches a tissue for their dad and his dad sniffles, “Feels like allergies. Were you playing with that damn cat again, Jimin?”

Jimin sinks down into his seat as he nods guiltily.

“Ugh,” his father groans, wiping at his nose as he clears his throat, “Go change your clothes and throw them in the laundry. Make sure you wash your hands too.”

His dad sneezes again as Jimin takes the stairs two at a time, opening the door slowly to see the cat curled up near his pillow, asleep. He frowns, slightly, feeling bad for his dad. He had forgotten how bad his dad’s allergies were. He’ll have to get rid of the cat soon and clean his room thoroughly so his dad won’t be able to tell.

Jimin helps his mom wash the dishes and watches his dad like a hawk. Even though his parents don’t really go into his room, he doesn’t want today to be the start.

The problem with the layout of their house is that the stairs are completely visible from the living room, where his parents spend a majority of their time. It’s basically impossible for Jimin to sneak the cat outside without them seeing, meaning he’ll have to wait until they’re in bed and asleep and risk it then.

Jimin is lying on his bed, on his stomach, face buried in the cat’s belly. The cat looks annoyed and has a paw pressed against Jimin’s shoulder, tail flicking slightly and hitting Jimin’s other shoulder, but otherwise doesn’t try to move away from Jimin’s affection.

Jimin cuddles with the cat until he hears his parent’s bedroom door shut. He knows his mom usually has to go to the bathroom, though, five minutes after lying down and so he waits for that.

It’s nice to just lay with the cat, soaking in the slightly forced affection. The cat’s eyes are closed but Jimin can still see the rigidity in its spine, the instinct to flee the moment Jimin goes too far. Jimin smiles into the cat’s stomach and shifts slowly, the cat’s eyes popping open to watch him as Jimin shifts onto his side so they’re facing each other.

“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Jimin explains, smiling, and the cat blinks at him, “I’m going to have to put you outside soon. I forgot my dad was allergic to cats.”

The cat lays its head down and Jimin hears his parent’s bedroom door creak open, then the light clicking on in the bathroom.

“I decided I’m going to visit Jeongguk tomorrow if he doesn’t come to school,” Jimin says, eyes drooping a little and when he widens them to stay awake, it looks like the cat has shifted closer, “Gotta make sure the brats okay and drinking plenty of water and I can bring him his homework.”

The toilet flushes and Jimin pushes himself off the bed, the cat watching him intently. Jimin taps the home button on his phone to see a good night text from Taehyung, but nothing from Jeongguk. He sighs, running a hand through his hair, and turns around to see the cat stretching before it jumps off his bed and trots to the door.

“Ready to go? Are you already tired of me?” Jimin teases and the cat meows lightly in response.

He hears the bathroom door shut with a quick click and the quiet padding of his mother’s feet as she goes back to bed. Jimin waits for a few heart beats, listening to see if the house has truly settled, before he scoops the cat up into his arms.

“Be quiet,” he tells it, hunching in on himself, like that would disguise the bright red fur currently curled up in his arms.

They make it downstairs and outside without a hitch and Jimin smiles as he sets the cat lightly on the patio.

“Thank you for hanging out with me today,” Jimin coos, scratching the cat behind its ears and it purrs under his fingers, “I’ll- I’ll see you tomorrow?”

The cat meows at him, licks at Jimin’s hand, and then darts down the stairs and away from Jimin. Jimin blinks at the cat’s sudden departure and his hand stays suspended for just a few more seconds before he fully grasps the situation.

“Maybe it really was tired of me,” Jimin laughs, but the thought makes his chest hurt. Jimin has always got too attached too easily.

When Jimin finally lays down to go to bed, he still doesn’t have any texts from Jeongguk. Jimin sighs and buries his face in his pillow, realizing it smells strongly of cat, and groans as he succumbs to the fact that he’s going to have to wash all of his bedding tomorrow.

day three)

from: jeonggukkie ♡

ah, i slept so much today

from: jeonggukkie ♡

i know its late and youre probably (hopefully) asleep

from: jeonggukkie ♡

i just want to say that im tired of being sick and i miss you

from: jeonggukkie ♡

even if i don’t make it to school tomorrow im coming to your house

from: jeonggukkie ♡

maybe we can share germs and get sick and die together

from: jeonggukkie ♡

isn’t that romantic hyung?

from: jeonggukkie ♡

regardless of the circumstance, ill see you tomorrow hyung

Jimin blinks blearily at his phone, the screen dimmed as low as possible but still searing his eyes as he’s just woken up.

“This kid,” Jimin tuts, voice hoarse from sleep, “Ignores me all day just to blow my phone up at night.”

to: jeonggukkie ♡

keep ur gers to youself

to: jeonggukkie ♡

brat

from: jeonggukkie ♡

always so pleasant and grammatically correct hyung

from: jeonggukkie ♡

i bet you have drool on your cheek

Jimin subconsciously wipes at his face and growls when he realizes what he did.

from: jeonggukkie ♡

did you dream about me hyung? ;)

to: jeonggukkie ♡

you wish

from: jeonggukkie ♡

i do

from: jeonggukkie ♡

i don’t think i’ll make it to school today, but i’ll see you after okay?

Jimin can’t stop the little jump his heart gives and smiles dopily at his phone, letting it fall onto his chest. He’s really missed Jeongguk.

Taehyung keeps poking at Jimin’s cheek, “What’s had you so happy today?”

“Nothin’,” Jimin dodges, but knows Taehyung knows better, “I just got to spend some quality time with Ginger yesterday.”

“Ginger? Did you fall in love with an exotic dancer Jimin? You know that’s not her real name, right?”

Jimin rolls his eyes and slams his locker closed, jiggling the door handle to make sure it closed properly, “No, Tae, I did not fall in love with an exotic dancer. I decided to call the cat that’s been hanging out around my house Ginger, because of its fur.”

Taehyung practically lights up at the mention of the cat, “You have to let me and Guk come over sometime soon to play with it!”

“Of course, if Jeongguk ever gets over this damn cold,” Jimin rolls his eyes, adjusting the strap of his backpack to better settle the weight. Normally he doesn’t have a lot to bring home, but he swung by all of Jeongguk’s classes today and picked up the homework he had missed, so he wouldn’t fall behind.

There’s a quick flash in Taehyung’s eyes, almost like a trick of light, and Jimin stops for a second to look at him.

“What?” Taehyung asks but it’s gone, whatever it was, and Jimin shakes his head.

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it. I gotta go though, I’ll text you,” Jimin grins, before he starts jogging towards the school entrance.

“Tell Jeongguk I said hi!” Taehyung calls knowingly after him and Jimin can’t hide the blush that graces his cheeks when he turns around to stick his tongue out at Taehyung.

Jimin putters around his house for the fifteen minutes he waits on Jeongguk, feeling a little upset. Ginger hadn’t been lounging on the back porch when he got home, and it had thrown him off, searching for red fur for a few minutes before giving up.

He’s straightened the magazines on the coffee table five times before there are three short knocks on the front door followed by two long ones and Jimin grins, knowing it’s Jeongguk. So, when he throws the door open and does in fact see the younger boy standing there, he can’t stop himself from throwing himself into his arms.

There’s a beat of silence, where Jimin realizes what he’s done and feels the embarrassment well up inside him like a geyser.

“Oh god I’m-”

Jeongguk doesn’t give him time to apologize, instead wraps his arms just as tightly around Jimin, “I missed you too, hyung.”

Jimin smiles, before he lets himself nuzzle into Jeongguk’s chest, taking the time to just really bask in Jeongguk’s presence; it had only been three days, but Jimin had really, really, really missed him.

Jimin pulls back first, though it’s obvious how reluctant either of them are to let go, “C’mon, get inside, don’t want your cold getting any worse.”

Jeongguk smiles, a bit guilty as he steps inside and toes off his shoes, “Smells like you. Familiar.”

“Don’t say things so boldly, brat,” Jimin smacks at Jeongguk’s bicep, trying to fight the blush he can feel rising on his cheeks, “Are you hungry? I think we have a little bit of japchae left. I also picked some of your homework up today. I can try and help you, if you-”

“Hyung,” Jeongguk cuts across him, reaching out to wrap sturdy fingers around Jimin’s wrist, eyes boring hotly into the back of Jimin’s head, “I appreciate all that, but can we just lie down for a while? I’m still kind of tired.”

“Of course,” Jimin smiles gently at Jeongguk, hoping his pounding heart isn’t as loud as he hears it in his ears, “Let me get a few drinks, go on ahead upstairs.”

Jeongguk nods, a small heart shaped smile pulling at his lips, before he takes the stairs slowly. Jimin knows Jeongguk isn’t feeling well still because he always takes the stairs two at a time.

By the time Jimin has grabbed two sprites and a small snack, Jeongguk has made himself comfortable in Jimin’s bed, curled up on the outside edge with the blankets pulled around him, leaving space for Jimin on the inside.

“Glad I wanted my bed to smell like you today,” Jimin quips and Jeongguk is quick to return with a, “You love it.”

Jeongguk turns his head to watch Jimin set the things in his arms down on the desk beside his bed, before he pats almost childishly at the spot he left for Jimin.

“You’re such a baby when you’re sick,” Jimin teases, as he crawls over Jeongguk to lay beside him, “Let me lay on my back, yeah?”

Jeongguk barely waits for Jimin to get comfortable, letting Jimin tuck the blankets under his feet just like he likes before wrapping a tight arm around Jimin’s waist and burrowing his face in the crook of Jimin’s neck.

“Missed you hyung,” Jeongguk mumbles, lips brushing against the column of Jimin’s throat, “Just a small nap, okay? Then I want to hear all about how you’ve been.”

Jimin smiles, letting the arm under Jeongguk curl around his neck so he can thread his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair. Jeongguk hums above Jimin and Jimin can practically feel the tension in Jeongguk’s body melt as they lay there, the little puffs of breath against his neck evening out until Jimin is sure Jeongguk is asleep.

Jimin shakes his head good naturedly, turning his head to press a quick kiss against Jeongguk’s forehead.

“A big, sleepy baby,” Jimin amends, before getting more comfortable himself and letting his eyes drift shut.

With the way the last few days have gone, Jeongguk up and disappearing and not responding to texts, Jimin half-expects Jeongguk not to be there when he wakes up.

The solid weight against him is reassuring and Jimin is smiling before he even opens his eyes, finding that instead of Jeongguk lying on Jimin, Jimin is now lying on Jeongguk. Jeongguk has one hand shoved up Jimin’s shirt, his palm flat against Jimin’s spine as his fingers press into the skin lightly, his other hand tucked behind his head and propping it up slightly.

“You drooled on me again,” Jeongguk croaks, voice still thick with sleep and eyes dark and clouded as he peers down at Jimin.

Jimin snaps his mouth shut and moves his head to see that there is in fact a drool puddle where he was laying. He groans and rubs at his cheek to rub the dry spit away, before rubbing at the wet spot. He doesn’t know why he expects that to help, because it doesn’t.

“Shit, sorry,” Jimin’s voice is just as gruff from their nap and he turns to see how dark it is outside. The sun is just setting, so they couldn’t have slept for more than an hour and a half.

“’S fine,” Jeongguk sniffs, the hand on Jimin’s back slipping up higher until his fingers are kneading at Jimin’s neck, Jimin’s shirt rising up his stomach, “I kind of anticipate it by now. You usually drool when you sleep.”

“I do not,” Jimin protests, letting his head flop back down on Jeongguk’s chest. His ear lands right on top of Jeongguk’s heart and the steady beating of it is almost enough to make up for the few days he spent missing Jeongguk.

“You kind of do, hyung. But it’s okay. It’s cute.”

Jimin snorts and they fall quiet, Jeongguk continuing to rub at the tension Jimin didn’t even realize he was carrying in his shoulders. Jeongguk’s fingers are deft and Jimin fully melts against Jeongguk, eyes slipping closed as Jeongguk’s fingers work wonders, and he’s powerless to stop little ah sounds from coming out of his mouth.

The way Jeongguk is rubbing at Jimin’s neck has Jimin’s head tilting back, eyelashes fluttering as Jeongguk works at his muscles until Jimin is practically putty in his arms. Jimin lets out curse and from how close they are, Jimin can feel the smile that flits across Jeongguk’s face and when Jimin opens his eyes, he realizes just how close they are.

The thing about being in love with your best friend is that sometimes you can’t help but think that moments are more than they actually are. With as close as the two of them are, all Jimin has to do is tilt his head forward just a smidge and they’d be kissing, the one thing Jimin has dreamed of doing with Jeongguk since Jeongguk turned fourteen.

And because Jimin thinks the moment is more than it actually is, he’s imagining the look in Jeongguk’s eyes; how soft of a brown they are in the setting sun, looking like they’re twinkling; how wet his lips are from licking them to keep them moist; the little dent of his scar on his cheek that Jimin likes to poke sometimes to make Jeongguk wrinkle his nose.

He just wants to kiss Jeongguk and it looks like Jeongguk wants to kiss him. Except Jimin knows he doesn’t.

“We should probably do homework soon,” Jimin mumbles and just like that the moment is over, Jeongguk groaning loudly and letting his head thump drop roughly onto the pillow as he dramatically throws his arm out and pushes Jimin away.

Jimin laughs with a hallow feeling in his chest and is the first to move, pushing the blankets off him as he slowly and creakily climbs over Jeongguk to stand on still asleep legs. Jeongguk crosses his arms and pouts up at Jimin, who cracks open one of the sodas and takes a swig.

“I’m sick, hyung, are you really gonna make me do homework?” Jeongguk asks, voice tilting in a teasing tone, and Jimin raises an eyebrow at him.

“If you don’t wanna fail you will,” Jimin says simply.

Jeongguk takes the opportunity to throw a five second tantrum, thrashing around on the bed and making pitiful noises, before he kicks the blankets down by his feet.

“Hey, don’t mess up my bed because you’re a brat,” Jimin chides and Jeongguk continues to pout, even as he pushes himself up into a cross legged position, “You don’t have too much to do. Mainly just revision so you don’t fall behind, but apparently you have a chemistry test next week?”

“Fuck,” Jeongguk curses lightly, as Jimin digs into his backpack to bring out everything to give to Jeongguk, as well as his own school work, “Did anyone happen to take notes for me? That would make it easier to catch up.”

“Um… I wasn’t able to catch any of your classmates to ask; I haven’t seen Yugyeom, because I think he’s still visiting his grandparents? And, I don’t know any of your other friends to ask, sorry…” Jimin frowns slightly, not having thought of asking any of Jeongguk’s classmates for anything to help.

“Hey,” Jeongguk catches Jimin’s wrist and Jimin startles, glancing down at the earnest looking boy, “It’s okay, you did a lot for me hyung, this is really helpful. Thank you.”

Jimin gives Jeongguk a waning smile and Jeongguk sighs, tugging Jimin down to sit beside him on the bed.

“You’ve taken chemistry already, right? You can help me review some things I’ve been struggling with, can’t you?” Jeongguk asks and Jimin can’t ever say no to Jeongguk, even though he himself struggled with chemistry when he took it.

“I can try, but I don’t know how much help I’ll be,” Jimin tells him, “But I have a history test I have to study for too.”

Jeongguk nods and stretches to grab his drink, sitting next to Jimin’s on the bed side table. Jimin rolls his eyes when he sees that Jeongguk’s shirt is balled up halfway up his back, no doubt from the way he tosses and turns when he sleeps. He pulls the hem down for Jeongguk, smoothing his hand across his lower back to even it out.

“Untidy,” Jimin tuts and Jeongguk rolls his eyes when he straightens back out.

“Leave me alone,” Jeongguk whines, playing up his sick card, before settling back against the wall, “Quit bullying me and help me study.”

Jimin acquiesces, sliding up beside Jeongguk to look at his textbook better, “Only because you asked nicely.”

Jimin doesn’t understand what happened. One second, he’s testing Jeongguk on random elements on the periodic table and the next Jeongguk is sneezing. Jimin turns to ask if he’s okay when he sees… something… twitching on top of Jeongguk’s head, before Jeongguk throws himself off Jimin’s bed and out of Jimin’s room.

“Guk?” he calls, but doesn’t get a response, “Guk, are you okay?”

He follows after the younger boy, figuring he’s head to the bathroom in his sick state.

Jimin knocks on the door and calls out softly, “Guk, are you in there?”

Jimin blinks when what sounds like a quiet meow reaches his ears, and knocks again, “Jeongguk, answer me.”

“A min-meow. Give me… give me a minute,” Jeongguk calls out weakly, which does nothing to soothe Jimin’s nerves.

“I’ll be right here,” Jimin calls back, and sits down beside the door.

He keeps expecting to hear Jeongguk dry heave, or even throw up, but it’s quiet. That’s more worrying to Jimin than anything and he draws his knees up to his chest, waiting in silent terror as he waits for Jeongguk to emerge. He’s afraid the worst has happened, like Jeongguk having passed out in the bathroom, or Jeongguk bleeding from somewhere, or… or Jeongguk having been kidnapped by aliens or something. It’s absurd and Jimin realizes this, but he can’t help but be afraid.

“Oh, honey, is everything okay? Is Jeongguk in there?” Jimin’s mom ambles up the stairs, confused at seeing her son sitting by the bathroom.

Jimin nods, worrying at his thumb, “I think his illness flared up. He got really pale and I was afraid he was gonna pass out. I… I don’t think he has though and I don’t hear him throwing up, so maybe he just got light headed all of a sudden.”

She looks concerned, “Let me know when he gets out. I’ll make him something to settle his stomach.”

“Thanks mom.”

When Jimin’s butt begins to grow numb from the angle he’s sitting in, the door creaks open slowly and Jeongguk emerges as he turns he light off. His face is absurdly pale, all color drained from his cheeks, but he doesn’t seem to be bleeding and he hadn’t been kidnapped by aliens, so.

“Are you alright?” Jimin asks softly, rising to his feet and cupping Jeongguk’s face in his hands, tilting his head down to look at him, “What happened?”

Jeongguk’s hands are shaky as he grabs at Jimin’s elbows, “Can you call my mom and have her come pick me up? Please?”

“Of course, Gukkie,” Jimin says softly, starting to guide Jeongguk back to his room, “Here, lay down, okay? I’ll call her right now.”

Jeongguk nods pathetically, eyes closing the moment his head hits Jimin’s pillow. A weak groan leaves his mouth and Jimin feels panic surge in his chest as he calls Jeongguk’s mom.

She’s very understanding and appreciative on the phone, thanking Jimin for letting Jeongguk come over even though he’s still sick. She mentions that Jeongguk had been complaining the past few days about not having been able to see Jimin and he turns away from the bed so Jeongguk doesn’t see him blush, though Jeongguk hasn’t opened his eyes since he laid down.

“Your mom will be here soon, okay?” Jimin says softly, brushing Jeongguk’s bangs off his forehead, “Just try and relax. Do you want anything?”

“Will you lay down with me?” Jeongguk asks, and when he opens his eyes, he swears Jeongguk’s eyes have changed. They’re slits, like snake eyes, but then Jeongguk closes his eyes and Jimin realizes he must have imagined it.

“Of course, let me just tell my mom you’re doing okay.”

Jeongguk sniffles but doesn’t argue and Jimin quickly exits his room to trot down the stairs. His mom is in the kitchen, pouring tea into a cup, and smiles when she sees Jimin.

“Is Jeongguk out of the bathroom? Is he feeling better?”

Jimin shakes his head, “He looks just as bad. Is there enough tea in there for me to give him some?”

“Yes, here, let me get the sugar for him.”

Jimin smiles, not surprised that his mom knows how Jeongguk takes his tea. He pours some of the tea into another cup and thanks his mom when she sets the sugar container down on the counter near the cup.

After stirring in two spoons of sugar, Jimin tells his mom, “Jeongguk’s mom is on his way to pick him up.”

“Okay. I’ll wait for her. Go give Guk his tea.”

Jimin nods and sets off for the stairs, taking them carefully. Jeongguk is awake, surprisingly, when Jimin gets back in his room.

“I brought some tea for you. Do you want to sit up and try to drink some? See if it’ll settle your stomach or something?”

Jeongguk shakes his head and makes grabby hands at Jimin and Jimin rolls his eyes, making Jeongguk pout. But Jimin is weak for Jeongguk, so if Jeongguk wants to cuddle, Jimin’ll cuddle him.

Jimin carefully climbs over Jeongguk and settles beside him on his side. He slides one arm under Jeongguk’s neck as Jeongguk curls up on his side, face pressing into his chest and fisting a hand in Jimin’s t-shirt. Jimin makes a face at how sharp his nails feel and makes a mental note to tell Jeongguk to clip his nails later but stays quiet for the time being.

Jimin can feel Jeongguk’s little puffs of breath through the thin cotton of his shirt and it raises goosebumps along his arms. He lets out a heavy sigh as he threads his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. He convinces himself that the honest to god purr Jeongguk lets out was just a very convincing sigh and tries to chalk up all of Jeongguk’s weird behavior to his illness.

Jeongguk mumbles blearily into his shirt, mouth stretched down into a frown and a little bit of sweat beading along his forehead. Jimin kisses Jeongguk over his bangs, nuzzling against him slightly.

“Warm, hyung, feels nice,” Jeongguk mumbles, pressing himself into Jimin as far as he can.

“Good,” Jimin says softly, trying not to upset Jeongguk with any loud noises, “Relax just a little while longer, your mom is going to be here soon.”

“Don’t wanna go, miss you,” Jeongguk whines and Jimin grunts in an effort to say perched up over Jeongguk as Jeongguk tries to knock him down, “Don’t wanna leave.”

“You’re sick, your mom is gonna pick you up to take care of you make you feel better. It’s okay,” Jimin says placatingly, smiling when Jeongguk still whines, “Don’t be a big baby.”

“Stay here, have you take care of me. Like that better,” Jeongguk offers instead.

He’s practically wrapped his entire body around Jimin at this point and Jimin would really like it, if it wasn’t because Jeongguk was so sick.

“Hush now, your mom should be here soon.”

Jeongguk quiets down and Jimin resumes massaging his scalp. He doesn’t know how long they lay there, maybe ten, fifteen minutes, but he startles when the doorbell rings.

“That’s your mom,” Jimin whispers to Jeongguk and Jeongguk makes a sound into Jimin’s chest, “C’mon, let’s get you downstairs.”

Jeongguk is a lump, limbs heavy as Jimin helps him to his feet, slinging one of Jeongguk’s arms around his neck and wrapping one of his own around Jeongguk’s waist to help steady him. At the last second, he grabs Jeongguk’s backpack.

“Fucking… fifty pounds of muscle… stop working out so damn much…” Jimin grunts, completely flabbergasted that Jeongguk could even put that much muscle on, huffing and puffing as he lugs Jeongguk down the steps.

Jeongguk drags his feet, arm tight around Jimin’s neck as he struggles to stay upright. Jimin and Jeongguk’s moms are standing at the base of the stairs, Jeongguk’s mom’s arms open and ready to accept her son.

“Poor baby, I told you not to go out today. Just couldn’t stay away could you?”

Jeongguk folds in on his mom and she laughs, rubbing at his back as she turns to the door, “Thank you for letting him come over, and for taking care of him until I got here. He didn’t… say anything weird, did he? He’s a blabber when he’s sick.”

Jimin shakes his head, “No, he was actually pretty quiet. He didn’t throw up or anything, just got really pale and whiny. Do you want to swap me Jeongguk for the backpack?”

Jeongguk’s mom quickly passes him back, obviously thankful to not have to carry heavy-boned Jeongguk. Jeongguk groans into Jimin’s ear before pressing his nose just below the lobe, breath hot and heavy.

“Hyung,” he whines, holding tightly onto Jimin.

Jimin flushes but tries not to let either mom see, just starts walking Jeongguk down the steps and down the sidewalk. Jeongguk’s mom’s car is parked by the curb, still on and running. It doesn’t take long for Jimin to get Jeongguk to the car, or even in it, but getting Jeongguk to let go of him is another story.

“I don’t wanna leave you hyung. Left you for days. Missed you. Pet me.”

Jimin laughs at the nonsense coming out of Jeongguk’s mouth but pats his cheek regardless. Jeongguk nuzzles into his palm, seemingly content with the little bit of affection.

Jimin leans back and Jeongguk tries to follow, but Jimin pushes him into his seat and softly closes the door. Jeongguk’s mom is standing beside him when he takes a step back and he willingly accepts her hug.

“Thank you, deary,” she leans back and pats his cheek like he had just done to Jeongguk, “I’ll have him message you when he feels better. Thank you for being such a good… friend.”

She smiles at him and Jimin smiles back, albeit a little confusedly. Why did she say friend like that?

Jimin’s mom is frowning a little when he gets back in the house.

“I hope you don’t catch whatever Jeongguk caught. I saw you guys napping earlier, close proximity like that is a great way to catch whatever anyone else has. Go wash your hands. Wash your bed sheets while you’re at it. Let me know when he’s feeling better, I’ve missed him.”

“You and me both,” Jimin mutters as he goes back to his room, before groaning and realizing that this’ll be the second time in two days that he’s washed his bedding.

“Stupid cat. Stupid Jeongguk.”

day six)

Jimin doesn’t hear from Jeongguk for a few days, but Ginger does come back. It’s weird; Jeongguk disappears and Ginger appears and vice-versa. He would laugh if he wasn’t so worried about Jeongguk.

“I talked to his mom, apparently his fevers spiked but- hey, stop looking at me like that he’s fine.”

Ginger’s tail flicks, happily curled up in Jimin’s lap who, in turn, is curled up on a patio chair. Jimin had stopped letting Ginger up in his room because his dad’s allergies had been acting up, much to the cat’s chagrin. The first day Ginger had shown back up Ginger had sat the door and meowed for literally an hour, but Jimin had held steadfast. Ginger had been pissed, choosing to lay in a chair opposite Jimin, but Jimin had just laughed as the fickle cat ended up in his lap twenty minutes later.

“I’m getting worried though,” Jimin murmurs to the red lump, nuzzling the top of the cat’s head, “it’s been almost a week and he hasn’t been getting better. He should probably go to the hospital soon, shouldn’t he?”

Ginger sighs deeply and Jimin giggles, cuddling the cat closer to him, “At least I have you for now, don’t I?”

Ginger rests its head on Jimin’s chest in response.

day seven)

Jeongguk shows up to school, cheeks still a little peaked but his eyes shining. The absolute relief that floods Jimin’s system is ridiculous, but he doesn’t stop himself from hugging Jeongguk tightly.

“Hi, hyung,” Jeongguk says softly in Jimin’s ear and Jimin hums in response, arms tightening around Jeongguk, “Missed you.”

“Ah-hem,” a deep voice tuts and physically forces them apart, “Make way for Jeongguk’s first best friend.”

Jimin laughs as Taehyung bodies his way between them, hugging Jeongguk in Jimin’s place.

“First best friend, huh? Who brought me my homework when I was sick? I don’t think I was delusional enough to think it was you,” Jeongguk teases and Taehyung pulls back with an affronted look on his face.

“Excuse me, you know how easily I get sick, mister. I couldn’t afford to deprive everyone of my face just because you are selfish and went and got yourself “sick”,” Taehyung nags, but there’s something in the way he says sick that doesn’t sound right to Jimin.

Jeongguk laughing in Taehyung’s face distracts him though, and he smiles when they make eye contact. It feels good to have Jeongguk back, it feels right.

“C’mon, we’re gonna be late for class,” Jimin interrupts before the two of the can start bickering again.

day twenty two)

Jeongguk is lounging on Jimin’s bed, a book open on his lap but it’s obvious he’s not actually reading. He’s glancing at Jimin, whose watching his backyard intently.

“Hyung, stop worrying,” Jeongguk says again, for the hundredth time, “Ginger will turn up.”

Jimin frowns, turning away from his window, “I haven’t seen Ginger in two days, sue me for worrying.”

Jeongguk doesn’t look up at him, tapping a rapid beat against the edge of his book, “The cat will show up, don’t worry.”

“What if he doesn’t?” Jimin worries his bottom lip and Jeongguk finally looks up, frowning at Jimin’s frown, “I didn’t see a collar on him and he looked taken care of, but what if he actually is a stray? What if he gets hurt?"

“Hyung, come here,” Jeongguk drops his book uncaringly on the floor, in order to reach out to Jimin and wrap a hand around his wrist, “I’m serious come here.”

Jimin lets Jeongguk pull him towards him and down, wrapping secure arms around him. He tucks Jimin’s head under his chin, one hand laying reassuringly on Jimin’s back and the other rubbing at the tense knot on Jimin’s neck. Jimin sighs, letting himself go soft on Jeongguk.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jeongguk apologizes and Jimin’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Sorry? For what?”

“Just… for getting sick and kind of ghosting you,” Jeongguk shrugs, but Jimin feels like that’s not what he’s actually apologizing for.

“It’s okay Gukkie,” Jimin says and he can feel Jeongguk smile into his hair, “I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”

Jeongguk sighs as he drops a kiss onto Jimin’s crown and Jimin wonders if Jeongguk truly is okay, “Me too, hyung. I’m sure you’ll see Ginger soon…”

Jimin is sitting quietly in class, minding his own business of not paying attention to the math teacher, when he hears it: a quiet whisper that seems to echo between his ears…

#bts #bts fanfiction #park jimin #park jimin fanfiction #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook fanfiction #jikook #jikook fanfiction #rating: t #skswriting

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youtubexreader · 8 years ago

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i n s e c u r e // aleks x punk/emo!reader

Hey, sorry I haven't posted an imagine since dec 25th 2015. (Yikes) I can't thank this person enough for reaching out and letting me know what they thought of my work, if it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't have posted anymore, but I really cracked down on myself to focus on things I love doing, and that being writing for you guys. (Also I'm sorry it took so so long to finish and post this, the request was fun to write- I just have been continuously been getting non-stop, back to back, extremely sick out of nowhere and also for things I don't think I could have prevented- it has been a really rough time for me and I've been under a lot of stress and pressure for my age.) hopefully it's somewhat good or moderately enjoyable, ESPECIALLY for the AMAZING AND RAD REQUESTER ILYSSSSM Much love as always! Keep sending in requests, and share your thoughts! / reblog to share the luhv of ff <333 Xx. !request: “ Thank you so much!!! Could i please have an Aleks x Punk/Emo Reader please? I dont mind what i will let you choose Again i love your work ❤️❤️❤️ ” (again thank you to the person who requested this, I didn't know if you were comfortable or not with your blog being directly @'ted. Regardless! Much love to you, thank you for your amazing amazing amazing support and incredible patience!) Warnings(ish idk??): swearing, slight sexual themes, self esteem issues. ((sorry I don't know how to actually do posts with cuts in them/posting without good formatting, I'm still using mobile.)) - - - - - "Thanks for the ride-" he started, but you cut him off with a "don't mention it-". You pulled out of the driveway of aleks' house and made your way to the 'boonies', not with much excitement. It was just early enough with the time change to need a pair of shades. 'Sonofa-' and with that, you realized you left yours on your kitchen counter. 'Great' you thought, thinking you'd be able to look decent and have everything together so this wouldn't have to be a more agonizing ride than it was planned out to be. But clearly that wasn't going to happen. It was agonizing because of your own mind. It was making this 'internship' harder than it should. Constantly having to deal with an overwhelming amount of editing, filming, and have a cute colleague drive your blood pressure through the roof whenever they're around was really bringing you to the brink of insanity. "So." He started "You're different." Just that half of a statement made you want to jump out of the car. You didn't want to play this game; the whole 'get to know why she acts that way', 'dresses this and that way', 'simply breathes that way'. It was crystal clear to say the least, that in your mind he's way out of your league. There's no reason for him to try to get to know you? What's he pushing this for? Just to be a dick to the dumb intern? All of these thoughts running faster and faster, only adding to your groggy state. Your knuckles were practically white from your grip on the wheel. Somehow, Aleks noticed that. You can feel his eyes on your hands, so you try to ease up. But he'll never seem to make things easy. "Uu-h yeah, I guess.-" trailing off, Aleks still had his eyes set on you. "I mean not in a bad way- oh god..." sighing in defeat almost, letting his head fall back on the headrest as if he had a migraine or broke his great grandmother's fine china. "It's fine, I get it." You replied simply, trying your hardest to not fall into your insecurities. Whatever he saw that was "different" made you worry. What was it exactly? The band tees, the consistent hair dye changes, the piercings, the stacked amount of bracelets on your arms of random ones you've come across, and ones with your favorite band's logos on them? As soon as the car was parked, you hopped out, grabbing your bag and heading towards the barn while hitting the lock button on your keys as soon as you heard aleks' door close. 'Please ease up- just today?' You mentally bargained with Christ. He's probably too busy, and that leaves you with the one and only Satan. He didn't even know he was doing this to you, and you'd figured that was possible but just had found it easier to believe he did it on purpose. Aleks was at his desk, which was facing yours, just humming and doing the random subconscious things he always does. Persona pushed aside, he had so many features that were meant to be framed in an art museum. When he's concentrating, he always wrinkles his forehead and rests his chin on his hand. Both of you had been stuck with editing a lot more than usual, and James had something to do so he left early. The quiet background music you had playing on another tab ended, you didn't bother with putting on another song, you were so close to finishing the last couple post-rolls. Aleks was still in front of you, probably almost done too- you just stared at your screen till you heard him start quietly saying something in Russian. He was so out of it- If someone was just walking in it would seem like it was just you watching carefully, as if you knew what he was saying. But really, it was you distracted completely by him slowly gliding his tongue across his bottom lip and biting down on it out of habit. The sound of his feet shifting across the cold floor made you look back at your screen, but his voice- whatever he was saying, you had no clue. But it was hot as fuck, yet also so soothing. Letting your head rest on your hand you instinctively let your eyes rest as well. You've never breathed deeper than in that moment. "y/n?" He carefully whispered, looking across the desk to see you, looking peaceful and completely at ease. His breath was stuck in his throat instantly. He would've taken a picture of you so he could remember what you looked like when you're not tense and stressed but your eyes quickly opened. "You look tired as hell, if you have more post-rolls left I don't mind finishing them for you tomorrow." He said almost in a whisper; like he was afraid of bothering you. "Hmn-? Oh! N-no, I was finished a little bit ago, I must've dosed off." "You look like you chugged a bottle of zquil, y/n..." Eyebrows raised and all, you realized that you were indeed the most tired you've ever felt, Lack of sleep to be the blame- the third night without sleep to be exact. "You can call shotgun, I'll drive. C'mon, it's the least I can do. Besides paying for gas money until I can get my car done." He continued giving you hopeful brown eyes that you were quick to avoid. You were easily convinced to say the least. How could you not be? "Fine, I guess..." you said grabbing your jean jacket and backpack. Quickly turning off lights and set ups, you both walked out and locked the door in a slight hurry, the temperature dropped, no surprise. Keys in one hand you passed them to him, your hands briefly touching. "Hope you know how to drive a stick shift." You said hoping he couldn't see your flushed cheeks as you strolled slyly over to the passenger side keeping your eyes down. Quickly hopping in, you rubbed your arms up and down trying to create some warmth. He chuckled, his breath visible in the cold air. 'I'm so fucked' you thought. "Hm?" Aleks murmured stopping what he was doing and staring directly at you. "What? Did I say something?" You asked, trying so hardly to play it off. "Well, I guess not-" he looked back down with a smirk and turned the keys igniting the engine. "Do you have an aux cord?" He asked "Uh no..." "Do you always just drive in quiet?" He pressed. "Ha, no!? I just have a lot of uh..." squeezing your eyes shut to avoid getting worked up. 'CDs, y/n?! Just say you are an avid CD collector because you deeply appreciate your emo phase and the bands that had been apart of it!' You thought. 'Stop being such a baby!' Your conscious scolded. You wanted to curl up in a ball. There's no way to avoid it anymore, you sold yourself to the devil when you listened to 'I don't love you', by my chemical romance. You'd rather be in a passenger seat with your worst ex right now rather than deal with his judgement. "Oh! You have cds? Are they in the console? Dude, that's so sick! I have a ton of cds too!" He exclaimed with a childish but sincere excitement. Every single word flew over your head. He began to lift up your console that was stashed full of your life's collection of ridiculous cds, special edition copies, ep's. Oh god... As he scooted your elbow off of it and went on to open it, you inhaled and let your head fall against the window. 'FUCKFUCKFUCK-' you screamed repeatedly over and over in your head, but you were stopped by the sound of the console quickly closing. "I'm so stupid," he muttered, letting out a sigh. "Just- uh, get comfortable and shit, and uh try and sleep- that was my reason for driving you-" he spoke almost mad. His previous excitement completely gone. Just a douchey outer shell of a content creator you used to admire. Maybe he really isn't the way you thought he was, that cute, rowdy, and funny personality who would give even a weirdo like you a chance. Or even a friendship. "Aleks, you really don't need to! I'm okay, really, you look much more tired-" you stopped when you saw his stare saying all too much. "Okay, fine. I'll try and sleep." You groaned turning on your side facing the window as best as you could. Your hood helped a lot, but still it was cold as heck. You drifted off quickly, the last thing you remember seeing was rain drops rolling down the window. "You call the shots babe, I just wanna be yours, secrets I have held in my heart, are harder to hide than I thought, maybe I just wanna be yours, I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours, wanna be yours, wanna be yours, wanna be yours..." your eyes blinked open slowly trying to reassess what's happening. You see the familiar street lamps passing by and you slowly breathe again, happy to almost be home. You smiled at the realization that Aleks had been singing the entire time, and it definitely wasn't the radio, no one has played this since it was big only meaning he went through your cd stash. His voice distracted you, making your stomach giddy like it does when you're on a trampoline, not knowing how high up you're going, and the unknowing feeling of when you're going to catch ground, over and over. Finally the car was parked, ignition turned off. And a tired Aleks gently rubbed your arm up and down in an attempt to bring you back to consciousness, although you definitely already were. You also realized the familiar fabric laying over you; it was his jacket. Your heart melting, you attempted to fake stirring in your sleep, not giving up the act that easily. An audible sigh was heard from your left, Then the obvious jingling of keys, and then another sigh. "y/n/n, What's wrong?" He asked out loud. Him calling you by your nickname hit you in your gut. No one does that. "Huh?" You asked, pretty confused. "Why do you always do shit to push me away?" Now he had your full attention. "What are?-" "No!" He loudly stopped you. What's happening with him? "Why do you always push me away?" He asked again while attempting to keep you in your seat with his awfully harsh eyes glaring into your own. "What the fuck Aleksandr?" You pushed yourself up grabbing the door handle and seeing he purposely locked the door. Great. "I- I just want to know why, you won't ever talk to me normally, you can barely tolerate a drive with me? What's your fucking deal?!" He was yelling too loud for you to even think. Your fingers pulling at your roots out of frustration. Not even feeling the pain it was causing to your head. "Have you never felt insecure, aleks? You don't get it! Why the fuck do you care anyways?! Just so you can hear someone say how much they like you? Or how much better you are than them?-" by now tears tinted black were streaming down your face uncontrollably. All the pent up frustration and feelings were unveiled and put on show like a trophy case. If you weren't so sleep deprived and out of your head you'd shut up by now. "You know what? Tomorrow, I'll just turn in my r-" With no warning, and ridiculous speed, he had his hand impatiently bringing your face to his, he let his other hand take your chin, tilting it up towards his soft and smooth lips. He didn't bother being polite or delicate, he was just as pissed off at you for no clear reason too. He made sure to let you know that- he wasn't easing up, and you couldn't care less. His lips were saying things that words never could, but in sync, as if you completely were on the same page. He'd bite down on your bottom lip harshly and use his teeth to pull on it, then suck on it again and again until you'd moan uncomfortably. Groaning he grabbed your hips and managed to sit you on his lap while not leaving your mouth alone. You impatiently kissed and bit all along his jaw, the smell of his aftershave burning through you, watching his head tilt back and eyebrows furrow. His hands weaving in your hair, pulling slightly, continuously panting against your mouth as he let your weight fall against him, foreheads resting on another. Your skin was dotted with bruised and pulsing teeth marks. His pale skin practically mirrored yours. "Ah f-fuck y/n-" he moaned in your ear, tightening his hold on you. He shifted in the seat from under you trying to get you to stop subconsciously writhing your hips back and forth, not doing anything other than holding you tighter, and letting his head fall into your neck when you'd stilled finally getting the message. He clearly was trying to control himself, he wouldn't take advantage of this; no matter how much he enjoyed being under you. "y/n? Can I take you to your room? Not like to fuck! But to sleep with- shit, next to you?" He asked, eyes rolled back. "Yes- yes, please... Are you okay, Aleks? I'll get off of you-" "Ah. No, fuck- just don't move for a second babygirl, okay?" He hissed grabbing your hips as you arched yourself forward. Smirking, you nodded in his neck, though the nickname he gave you just made you want to do your worst, he probably hadn't even realized he said that, but damn. You breathed heavily and stayed as still as you could so he could catch his breath. Soon enough he finally got out of the car, and swiftly picked you up, not without kissing you harshly on your lips, before picking you and his backpack up, and made his way to your bedroom. He laid you down softly, and set his backpack down, taking of his shirt and jeans in the process as you did somewhat the same. He made his way around the bed and crawled under your covers, his needy hands reaching out for your sides to embrace, you could feel how easy it was to reciprocate his feelings. Which you did. He pulled you tightly flushed against him, his cold fingertips tracing up your sensitive sides with his head resting into your neck and hair. Any movement would probably just grind on him- which was fun, but both of you were so content being just like this, it could wait till morning. Never thinking you'd be in the same bed as him washed over you, and his cold breath and movements, it was hard to close your eyes from trying to burn the mental picture of him. He looked so peaceful and worry free. His arms tied around your back as his chest became the best pillow you'd ever had. Getting to stare at his tattoos felt like a blessing. Tracing the outlines of some and relaxing to the feeling of his breathing was something you can't help but want to be able to do forever. Occasionally while admiring his entire being a kiss would be planted here and there on his chest. This went on till he moaned and slowly opened his brown eyes to only be a couple inches from yours. He trailed his hand ever so slowly up the outside of your left leg to pull it up on his waist. Feeling every part of him as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest and letting his lips dwell all over. "y/n?" he asked in a rough voice, "Why didn't you want me to look in the console?" He softly asked "…well, it's just embarrassing. I don't want you to see my cds and shit because I know you would hate me even more and peg me as some punk ass if you saw how many band posters I have-" "Wait- you think I hate you? y/n, of all things to get insecure about- your music taste is nothing that you should be paranoid about." He said leaning on his elbow looking down at you "I love a lot of the same bands you do- I just thought I'd look like a tool if I walked up to you and sounded like a dick only talking to you about one band on your shirt. I'd been wanting to ask you out- I just didn't have the balls to make a move till last night..." His sentence was cut short by your mouth on his, stopping his banter of self consciousness made you understand how ridiculous your own was. It was definitely reassuring to hear him say that he did like your He sat on top of you quickly, to whisper "my taste in music iS YOUR FACE!-" as loud as he could, which in turn, started a pillow fight of attempting to suffocate each other with a pillow. Also making you both late for work, let's just say you regret not having time to put makeup over the bruises that littered your neck. You two would never hear the end of that.

#aleks x reader #aleks imagine #aleks marchant x reader #immortalhd x reader #immortalhd imagine #cowchop x reader #cowchop imagine #send in requests #send me anons #or non anons #u do u boo #let me know what you think #thank you so so so much #my archive

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suckit-aynrand · 8 years ago

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wow okay.

i just now finally got the guts to softblock my ex’s tumblr after a fucking year and a half.

ive wanted to rant and piss and moan about that whole debacle on here for so long but because she followed me etc. i never did because i didnt want to stir shit up

i shouldve done this a long time ago because every time i saw a post she reblogged i’d feel sick to my stomach and get really depressed tbh.

so now im trying to release all my shitty feelings by writing it out....

she was my first kiss and then she ended it before we were even able to give it a chance even though i’d liked her for over 6 months prior.

she was a fucking bitch though and made me feel so shitty about myself... unfortunately, i have an issue where i need everyone to like me so the more someone doesn’t care about me the harder I try and any drop of affection from them is like a drug.

ok so like she told me she was gay in like february or some shit and i told her I was bi because i was still trying to figure my shit out and then I started developing feelings for her (ie, see above) which i’d never done before because id never opened myself up to thinking about a girl that way and never with guys except for feeling ill....

so yeah, we were friends for a long time and i really liked her that whole time but i was fucking what 19 and had never done anything with anyone and was really nervous about stuff like that and, especially because of her personality where she’d be a total bitch 75% of the time and shoot down anything i said (which id just brush off as a joke or whatever and laugh) so no way in hell was i going to ever fucking make a move and i’d sleep over at her house (she lived at home) and she knew I had no experience and i told her id never even kissed anyone and she’d call me a “spring chicken” and shit because i was such a fucking everything virgin

we spooned once but i was so nervous and freaking out because im bad with touching people in general because i have this huge fear of doing something wrong and being rejected and totally overthing everything??

we also had this stupid bullshit thing about “ymir and krista” from attack on titan- shut the fuck up, i know, but like it was kind an apt metaphor for our personalities and looks (besides height because i was taller than her) so i remember and breaking point in my crush was when there was a “pick ten pictures that represent your aesthetic” on tumblr or whatever so i picked a bunch of pics or whatever and then one that was ymir/krista and i tagged her to do it too (do your sleuthing on your own time fellas) and she ALSO put a ymir/krista pic in hers so i was like HOLY FUCK IS THIS KISMET??? and then got my shit together to admit to my sister that i liked her and was bi (lol... that was a while ago...) and planned to ask her out myself.

anyway, like the next night, and incidentally on the night of the Supermoon in 2015 (when there was an eclipse on the night of the supermoon) i stopped by her job at gamestop when i was at the mall with friends to say hi (which i would do whenever possible... again, i was/am desperate for affection) and she said she was getting off soon and her grandparents were in town and were going to dinner at a place at the mall and would i like to go with so i was like sure so we went and then I went back to her place with her family and we sat outside to watch the supermoon and we were like holding hands and shit because it was cold and it was montana in late september etc. and i was nervous and all but all blushy and excited because of my previous nights shit, and then we eventually moved onto the back porch and she asked me if id want to date and i was like yes and then her homophobic grandparents came out to see if we were still watching the moon or whatever and then we went in to her room where i slept over and when we were looking out the window she kissed me and i was super nervous and blusy so it was like just a quick peck but it was my first kiss and i wanted to do it again but also i was scared to (like... because of her? and i was scared she wouldnt want to?)

so then the next morning i got a ride back to my place by her mom because i had an early class and we kissed (quickly again) before i left and then the next night i slept over at her place again but we didnt kiss at all... after that i would keep texting her and trying to make plans and stuff - i wasnt a student at the time but i lived close to campus so i was always like let me know when youre free and i can come up and meet you for lunch or i can come up and do anything because i wanted to see her and shit and she’d always be like “im busy with work/school/band etc.” so i was just like ok let me know when youre not and id visit her at work when i could but i didnt have a car and she was working and i didnt want to hang out in gamestop or whatever so id just pop in and it was awkward...

id said earlier that i wanted to go to the rocky horror show live that they did downtown so i saved up over $100 to get us tix and dressed all slutty for it (for her but also for rocky) and she wasnt really into it and i was trying to make it fun etc. and i had planned for her to stay the night at my place afterwards because i had an extra mattress under my bed for guests (THAT I LITERALLY ONLY BROUGHT WITH THE SPECIFIC INTENTION OF IT BEING FOR HER) but she said she had to go home or whatever and so i drove her home and walked her in and we kissed (quick kiss again) as i was leaving and then we kissed again, but like a couple little kisses in a row, and i was trying so hard to do it right but i was so nervous and that was all good (except she told me that my fucking MAC LIPSTICK didnt taste good... that fucker....) and then i left and continued to try to meet up with her and then one day she asked me if i was free to come talk to her on campus so i tried to dress up all cute and then she broke up with me.

the break up was so weird too because she was like “ive been too busy to see you, and ive been having a really hard time with my mom lately, and my dads cancer just came back and i want to still be friends and maybe next semester we can try again” and all and she was like crying (like a little bit) so i didnt want to be dramatic and make her feel bad so i tried to keep it light etc. (like i always do because im a fuck) so i was like its all good im so sorry youre having all this shit let me know if i can do anything etc. and then i hung out for a bit to try to make her feel like it was all good (even though i was devastated inside..... im just really awful with my emotions...) and then i left and was in a trance for a few days.... like even though practically nothing happened i didnt know (and still dont know???) what happened???

like....... was it because i wasnt really making any moves??? because i was trying like especially at halloween etc.????? and like she was the one who asked me out?????? like... i was also open about the fact that i’d be moving away the following summer most likely because i was changing schools and whenever i’d bring it up before we were “together” she’d legit like tear up and be like “you cant leave” and shit...?? was that why???? and like this still really gets to me even though it shouldnt and she truly was very hurtful to me in so many ways beyond this bullshit??? i just feel like i expended so much effort on building my relationship with her and never got any reciprication?

like... there were a couple of times the following semester where she’d text me and ask to get together with another friend or whatever and i really really really wanted to say no but that word isnt in my vocabulary because im an anti-confrontational pushover so we would and it would be so weird for me but id really really work to pretend like it wasnt and then i moved.

and i really honestly wanted to message her and be like can you just be open with me about why because i feel like i got no closure and i thought about doing it a bunch but i never did because im a coward and scared of putting other people in situations that might make them uncomfortable because i know how uncomfortable they make me and how much i hate it???? i also thought about asking a mutual friend if he knew anything about it because he was closer with her but i didnt even know if she told any of her friends/family about it because she was super open about being gay but didnt want me to be open about our relationship because, in her words, “they’d say we told you so and we knew” and she wanted to prove them wrong for as long as possible or something?

but now like a year and a half later its sooooo way beside the point and too late so like i cant do it now.... but i havent been in another relationship obviously and like last semester i was getting really unreasonably jealous over her ambiguous snap story about getting ice cream with her girl and how much she loves her even though im more than halfway across the country from her and now ive definitely calmed down and have faced the fact that she was a bitch but like i still feel so stuck with no closure and also am terrified that i’ll never find anyone else? and i also know that its my fault but i wish i knew how much and what i could do better in the future because im terrified of making the same mistakes again and feeling this emptiness?

i wish this were easier. im so sorry for spilling all this shit but ive been bottling it up for so long and have only ever told my sister and even her i didnt tell everything and i feel free now that i wont be seeing her posts anymore and can hopefully let this settle even more....

#my post #textpost #this is just a super long in depth story of my first #quote en quote relationship #and how lost and shitty and confused i feel about it #if anyone has any ideas or intuitions about what the fuck happened please let me know id appreciate it greatly

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attackonmulti-anime · 5 years ago

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Levi x Reader: I hate you, dont leave me

If you can read on my wattpad, I’d appreciate it :)

Prologue:

TW Abuse & violence

I wish he never left. I wish they never left me on my own again. I was abandoned once and now I have been abandoned again. It all started by bumping into him while taking care of that cat all those years ago.

I looked at the underweight kitten, shaking helplessly in my presence. Unwanted. Pathetic. Not true, I will love it and take it in.

I just need to avoid the beatings.

See this is why I love stray animals because I see myself in them. I look at these poor creatures on the dirty streets of the underground practically crying out "need love, take me home", as I cried that out to myself before going to sleep every single night, yearning for love and to be treated with it, drowned in it. The only love I have ever known is being ignored by my parents and them taking the day off not beating me or inflicting some type of abuse. When I see these men on the streets degrading the animals, the children beat them, I save the animals as I wish to save myself.

I embrace the ginger kitten in my hands, feeling its bones against its soft dirty fur. He meows as he licks my finger.

"Look at her" I hear a group of men talking amongst themselves.

"Why would she want to touch a dirty thing like that?"

Dirty? Ha, this kitten alone has more purity and love than all of you combined.

I rush towards my house as I try to hide the kitten in the pocket of my dress before entering. I wasn't looking at where I was going so I accidentally bump into someone. I look up and see a boy older than me looking down at me, with confusion in his eyes.

"Sorry" I respond. He notices the kitten that I am trying to hide.

"Tch. Dirty thing." I had enough, I had enough of people judging me.

"It's just a baby, it's not his fault he wasn't taken care of. I'm going to wash him up and feed him and make him happy" I respond hopefully, giving myself an intention to make my life a little less dull.

"You can't even take care of yourself, you don't look like you have been cared for. You sure those bruises on your arms won't get worse if you bring that thing to your house?"

I looked up at him and then my arms, noticing I forgot to wear my long sleeves. Tears filled up my eyes, my parents will kill me if they found out I didn't cover up, let alone bringing home a stray.

"Look, where do you live?" the peculiar boy asked.

"Just down the road over there" I replied, pointing the direction I was meant to walk down, walking slowly into hell. Looking down that direction I could feel the walls closing in, and living underground didn't make the atmosphere any easier.

"Go home, kid" he insisted. Kid, I hated that. I know I just turned 7, but I had a name, an identity.

"What's your name?" I look up at those cold eyes looking at me, did he read my mind or something?

"Y/n" I replied proudly.

"Levi" he responded. Immediately I see his arm coming towards me and his hand approaching my body. I panic and block my face while crouching down.

"Huh?" I hear his voice. I didn't receive a hit. I'm confused, so I look up and notice he had his arm stuck out. He must have wanted to shake my hand. Not wanting to look like the idiot that I am, I quickly got back up and shook his hand with a firm handshake. I felt the blood heating up my face in embarrassment, so I ran home and left him behind.

As I creek open the doors to my house, I quickly make sure the coast is clear, sweeping my feet along the floor to avoid the sound of footsteps. I enter my room and hide the kitten under my bed, and give him some water.

I hear glass breaking and I jump, terrified. I hear my stepfather screaming drunken obscenities, and I listen carefully to attempt to hear my mother's voice in between the shouts.

"Y/N!" I put the cover over my bed, hanging a bit to hide the kitten as I rush towards the sound of my mother.

My stepfather sits on the sofa, rolling a cigarette, as my mother sits on the kitchen table. I dare not to speak, not to answer back, even now I am holding my breath. "Y/n" my mother repeats, but in a less patient way. I reluctantly walk up to her, scared to answer back, just in case I get it.

I look up into her eyes, but the eye contact was cut short as I felt a slap across my face.

"Did I raise a retarded daughter who is unable to utilize her own voice to respond to her mother?"

I put my hand to my cheek avoiding eye contact until I feel a pair of dry hands grabbing my jaw to force me to look into her eyes while I feel her long unkept nails dig into my skin causing sharp pain. I try to hold my tears back.

"Oh for fuck's sake, crying again? That's all you do. Cry. You are way too sensitive" as she finishes her sentence she pushes me against the floor. As I try to recover from the fall, I hear footsteps approaching, the heavy footsteps of my stepfather. "I'll give you something to cry about you little shit" here we go again.

I go back to my coping mechanisms, as I try to remember the animals I picked up in the past to calm me down.

One slap across the face. The elderly dog that didn't last long.

A punch into the stomach. The mother cat with kittens.

A strong grab on my arm, as his hands twist my wrists. The bird with a broken wing.

A direct punch into the face. Another bird, but I didn't take them in, I just gave them my leftovers.

I keep getting beaten, I need to keep distracting myself. What did I name them again? I named the dog nana because she was elderly. The mother cat with kittens, I called her Doll, and I numbered her kittens from one to four. I wonder how those kittens are doing now. Did they go on to make more kittens? Did the street kids abuse them? Or were they taken in by a humble family? Can someone take me in? I'll make myself small and fit into a box and cry until someone takes me in. I promise I'll do anything.

I open my eyes as they finish, and enter my room crying. I take the kitten from under my bed.

"Sorry, you had to hear that" I apologized to the kitten as I tried to breathe through the tears. The kitten meowed.

"No, don't worry, they won't ever touch you, you are safe with me" I try to think of a name, as it licks my pinky finger. That's it. "Pinky!" I smile through the tears.

As night approaches, I feel the hunger in my stomach. I need to feed myself and Pinky too, I only went two days without food this week except for half a bread roll I found on the road today, I didn't know how much Pinky ate. I look out my window daydreaming of running around on the streets with the other kids, picking up strays together.

I wonder if Pinky is sleeping. I get up and look under the bed to not find him there. I feel my throat drop to my gut. I frantically look around my room for him, noticing my door had a small creek.

No. He couldn't have.

I slowly open my door and make my way to the dark living room.

"Looking for this?" I see my stepfather hold Pinky. I couldn't see properly, the candle wasn't burning bright. He puts Pinky on the floor and I run towards him, except I feel wetness. I turn towards the candle and see his eyes are missing, and the bone of his head almost disconnected from his body. I feel unwell.

"I told you no more fucking strays" my mum shouted in the corner.

I cry again, as I lean over to the side, nauseated. I vomit up the leftovers of water and bread.

"God damn it, y/n. Always so sensitive. It's just a stray cat, it's not like its a person, its useless."

My stepfather's cold words flow right past me, I couldn't save Pinky. I was too busy daydreaming, my parents are right. I am retarded, useless, stupid. All of those.

"I can't stand your ugly voice." My mother approaches me, as I sniffle while crying. She starts dramatically screaming imitating my crying in a baby-like way mocking me.

Is that what I really sound like? Is that what Pinky sounded like before you both killed him?

She pulls me by my hair and spits in my face. "Greedy little y/n, where would you find food to chuck back up? Since you want to eat so much-"

She forces my head towards the leftover puke as I resist against her. As soon as my nose just about reaches the sick, I hear a knock on the door.

"Military Police! Open the door! We have questions to ask about a missing boy."

My mother lets go of me as she tucks her hair back, and my stepdad rushes to open the door. Thank you police, you just saved my dignity.

"You aren't-" I hear my stepdad and the sound of his scream. A man enters the house with two other people. His hand is bleeding.

"You little shit" my stepdad tried to hit him, but the man blocked the punch with his knife, as the blade goes straight through his hand.

"Don't touch me with your filthy hands"

The group of three come towards me. "Hold on what do you think-"

"I don't hit women" the male voice turned over to his friend.

"Isabel, if you may" the figure of a girl goes towards my mother. My mother tries to kick her down, but she grabs my mother's leg and pulls as my mother falls over to the floor.

"How can a mother, do this to her own. I will never understand. You lay a finger on another child again and my onii-chan will fuck you all up!" the girl screamed.

"Onii-chan, I told her good, didn't I?" She looks at the main guy for approval. As he crouches towards me, the candle illuminates his face. Its that Levi guy from the streets!

"Come with me, y/n, and you won't have to face this ever again."

I am reluctant. "The girl is Isabel, and the guy next to me is Farlan. Come with us, and you will never have to suffer this life ever again.

I nod and get up, as the girl scoops me up like a baby in her arms. "You are such a cutie! So skinny though"

"Come on, Isabel lets go home, we have some back there."

----

I enter the house, it's so clean, it smells like soap and bleach, everything is well organized.

"She is filthy, she is covered in dirt and blood. Clean it off before she eats."

Isabel takes me to the bathroom runs a hot kettle to put in the bucket that could fit my small frame.

"Ok, get in the tub and I'll get you a spare change of clothes." I nod, still scared to speak. I get undressed and get in the tub, hugging my knees. I hear a gasp. Isabel walks in with a towel and soap. "God, you are too skinny. Don't worry we will take care of you."

She starts bathing me and washing my hair, humming to calm me down and giving me hugs in between. Giggling as she plays with my hair. "So long! It goes below your tailbone! I can't wait to give you all these cute hairstyles!" She has been more of a mother to me in these few minutes than mine has been my whole life

---

They could not find anything to fit me, so I am wearing an old top from Farlan's childhood. It goes below my knees and droops off my shoulder a bit. Revealing my bones. Levi turns around to see me, his expression looks pitiful.

"She looks like how I did before I was found. Except she had parents to feed her. Why didn't they? Tch. Fucking dumbasses. People should get a license to reproduce."

He mutters to Farlan, I pretend not to hear. I sit on the table and look at my plate, stew with a roll of bread.

I pretty much inhaled the food as Isabel was next to me catching up on her meal that she skipped in order to clean me up. As I finish, Levi sits next to me on the table and hands me a circular looking object. I look at it with confusion.

"Just eat it, I know you'll like it" I take it and take a bite. I feel my pupils dilate and my mouth water at the sweet taste of this soft yet crunchy food. I finish it in a heartbeat.

"You like them?" I nod smiling. "Good," he replied. He lowered his voice as he went to Farlan "we are taking more tomorrow".

Farlan gets up and pulls Levi to the side. "Levi, these cookies are a delicacy from the bakery, we can't afford them, and if we steal more then it could lead the military police on our tail."

"We are getting more." he insisted.

Farlan looks at me with the softest smile. "Anything to make this cutie happy, am I right?" he ruffles my hair. Positive comments, towards me? People are caring? Could this be? Have I manifested my daydream? Cookies, is that what I ate?

"That's what good girls need, cookies to make them happy, you won't go hungry again" Farlan spoke.

"YAHOOO" Isabel screams in excitement to the news of getting more treats.

I start laughing for the first time in a while with Isabel. I look over at Levi doing the dishes. He looks back at me with a smile on his face.

How I wish this moment lasted forever. How I wish they never left. How I wish they didn't leave me to this chaos of a life.

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lifewasntmadeforeveryone-blog · 7 years ago

Text

To the man that was my forever,

Beauty.

To the man i thought was my forever,

I don't know where to begin ,alls i know is this is my millionth letter i've attempted to write.

I don't even know what i think because everytime i go to write no words seem to suffice what i want to say. I dont think ill ever have the words. Because this isn't how it was supposed to end, this wasn't supposed to end. I wish i had a do over that court day, i couldn't think, i couldn't breathe, but mainly, i couldn't feel. Or maybe i could but it was too much at once. Guilt resides in me and i didnt realize it until i noticed i kept having nightmares. I feel guilty because i didn't get closure didn't get to say my goodbye, explain to you my side of that day on may 5th. SO i guess this is it, My final goodbye. Hopefully you've read it by this far and not thrown it away.

When you first went to jail i didn't know how to feel, i remember when DeDe showed up to your house that night on may 5th. I remember looking out that little corner of the front window that ugly yellowed curtain didn't cover and watching your face. I couldn't tell what was being said. Alls i know is you didn't look happy and any time DeDe came around i got beat after, and after the beating i just took my body couldn't take another slap. Even as i am writing this right now i can feel my heart begin to race rapidly and my hands become clammy as my hands begin to tremble.

I remember my heart climbing up my throat as every second grazed by. I stood there, whole body trembling, i limped to the back door and slowly with my unsteady hand i reach out for the back door screen door and push it opened, i remember hearing the loud click as the hardened plastic on the handle clicked opened, my heart stopped. I closed it and limped back to the front window to see what was going on and you were looking at DeDE i rummaged in the dark for clothes and all i could find was my pink velvet zipper hoodie and your shorts, couldn't find socks couldn't find shoes, no bra and no panties. I took one last glance at what you were doing and limped to the back door.

Demon started whimpering and i tried to calm him. I remember saying goodbye and kissed his head and took one step outside on the cold wet cement steps, i remember slowly walking and took my second step onto the dead grass and landed on a decaying leaf. I swore it the crunch under my foot was as loud as a buckshot. After that i knew if i didn't run i would be noticed. So i sprinted like my life depended on it, darted through the small brush that i swore was gonna make me collapse, and i furiously searched for houses to knock on . I was on my third house when i looked back and noticed the second one i had knocked on someone emerged from, so i bolted and yelled as loud as my whisper could go undetected and she saved me. She called 911 and assessed me the best she could.

I stayed on the floor rocking back and forth, made her turn off all the lights because i knew you were looking for me. I heard a knock at the door and my heart slammed down my feet i swore it was you. But it was the EMS men. I shed a tear of relief because i was finally safe. They assessed me, took photos, i remember walking to the ambulance and as they pulled off i watched the yellow house get smaller and smaller until i couldn't see it anymore. I spent 5 days in the hospital and was unconscious for 3 of them, doctors said because of how much trauma i undergo that it was too much stress on my body to remain awake. Mom said only time id wake up is when she rotate her head when she rested her head at the foot of my bed and that my body would jolt and id look around.

I saw over 50 different types of doctors, they moved me out multiple rooms, every time i was wheelchaired, everytime they wheeled me down a hall the halls got silent people started but tried to act as if they weren't. Everyone expressed their apologies and how they are glad you're in jail, i even had a nurse that drove from canada every day to here. Her son was a developer of Roblox, a more childlike version of minecraft. The last day was the hardest for me. I remember putting a hat and the blackest sunglasses i could find to hide my face.

I remember pulling out of the hospital garage and turning onto the main street and feeling the warmth hit my face, mom had the top down and sun radiated of my cheeks. I remember going home and feeling sick to my stomach as i sat on my bed looking around. It didn't feel like home. I stood up and looked outside the window and my gaze was stuck on the Lansing capital, hatred pulsed through my veins and i felt a sudden urge to throw up so i ran to the bathroom but only gagged. I went to splash water on my face but my appearance caught my eye. For the last week anytime i went to the bathroom i kept the lights off because my face make me wanna puke. I gingerly caressed my cheeks making sure to apply no pressure. My eyes were the size of rice, could barely see, for the last 5 days i has lubricant caked between my eyelids because who knew when your eyes swelled shut it would cause them to get dry and irritant. They pumped the highest dosage of morphine in me but nothing relieved the pain. I didn't leave my house for few weeks when i got home. I barely slept because the nightmares made me insomnia. I had to explain to Amelia, my little 9 year old sister why livy's face and body was torn up, she bawled her eyes. Everyday may 5th was stuck on repeat in my mind like a broken record player. It repeats much it began to blur together, until i couldn't hear your voice anymore.

It was June 27th when i miscarried. Days prior i was in and out of the ER trying to get answers as to why i was bleeding so heavily. But i'll never forget the contractions. My water broke and i didnt know what it was, so i laid back down. But the cramps was horrible. I was exhausted when i felt a sudden rush and as i glanced down a darkskinned blood soaked baby was dangling from me, its little arms and fingers, its little head . That fucked me up i couldn't breathe alls i could do was scream. The EMS guys came up to the apt and blood was everywhere, they had me slowly get up and the baby descended from me. They flushed it down the toilet without even calling their supervisor. That tore me apart. You know they had me do 12 different x rays, told me its urgent but i have a high risk of losing the baby?

Firstly i wanna apologize for being boge in the beginning, i wasn't committed to you because in my eyes we were a real thing, looking back we were more real then than we were in our final weeks together. I didn't realize you were giving me a chance then. I didn't realize what i took for granted until you became violent. It's partly my fault you became violent. So this my tell all i guess.

Secondly i wanna start with your cousins, Mike, Eldred , i never met mike before, it was around february when you went to jail for that warrant that you blamed me for because had i been at your house you wouldn't have been driving, i added him along of other relatives because i wanted support, i wanted them to like me, little did i know how bitter your family was. Eldred i met through one of my plugs i we became smoking buddies, it wasn't until he saw my bloodshot eyes when i explained a relationship didn't go as planned and he asked well who and i explained you and he was shocked. We only hung out couple times never did much because he was busy helping people get their cards.

Now mike, i didn't meet him until he started using the gas station by the apartments i use to live at apparently he was apart of a biker group or whatever you call it. I guess it was located down the road from me. That's when i really stopped leaving my house. Transferred to online school because leaving my house isn't safe, not when i had people facebooking me death threats. I didn't officially meet him until prime fest, i was leaving the concert and i saw him with his club dudes i guess you can call them. I saw him and yes, i walked up to them, i had to. I got beat over someone i didn't sleep with i HAD to look them in the face, and his buddy talked to me, as questions, asked what my name was and i didnt want mike to realize it was me so the best fake name i could up with was Olive, i slapped myself inside my head for that. But i had to meet the guy who apparently you thought was better than you. Alls i can say is honestly, he is no way attractive nor a guy id wanna hang with the idea of him being a biker guy is too intimidating enough. Let alone he towers over me.

Lastly,I want to say i'm sorry. I'm sorry i wasn't what we were suppose to be, i'm sorry i could save you, save us, or even save the baby. I'm sorry i didn't stay motivated to finish school or get a job, i just gave up when i moved into your moms. I'm sorry i made decisions in the beginning that were selfish and made you go over the edge. But more importantly, i forgive you, i forgive you not for you but for myself because without forgiveness i'll never be able to spread my wings and grow, i'll never seize the moment because i'll be stuck in fear of what could happen. I hope you learn to forgive me so you can grow and become a better you for your future wife because everyone deserves love. I just pray you become more wise and learn to control yourself, to stop blaming other for your actions, i pray you stay medicated because you shouldn't hear 7 different voices in your head.

But dont think ill forget the love once had, the showers we had, you slipping and almost busting your ass, the Vons Market munchie run, I'll never forget our rooftop blunts and vents or how demon was there for me. But the main reason i'm writing this because i'm closing the door to our horrided story. Im done letting it cower over me, i'm closing every existence to what was us, im letting beauty die.

So this is it Vincent.

My goodbye.

It's better to have been loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Sincerely,

#closure #goodbye #movingon #depression #newlife #relationships #letter #life #beauty #disneymovie #love #i'm broke #you broke my heart

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