#hopefully august will be better for us but we really are in trouble this month | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mylittlesyn · 2 years ago

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Chapter 1: May 25th 2020, June 12, 2020, & August 7th, 2020 (This fic is in a diary format with memory recollections(It's fine, trust me)).

Premise: Aquarela moves to San Diego from Chicago and happens to meet the CEO/CSO of the new biotech company she works at: Dr. Tobirama Senju. She first meets him in the parking lot, when he's experiencing car trouble. So, she helps him out.

TW: None for this chapter other than questionable boss-employee relationships which is pretty much the entire theme.

𝟙𝟠+ 𝕆𝕟𝕝𝕪, 𝕄𝕚𝕟𝕠𝕣𝕤 𝔻ℕ𝕀

MasterPost

May 25 th , 2020

I know I suck at writing these, and I suck at keeping up with these things, but I just finished my first day as a post doc. The drive from Chicago to San Diego was long, but it sure as hell was fun. God I love my miata. Nothing like driving with the top down, feeling the sun on your skin, listening to some ska, singing at the top of your lungs, not a care in the world… Kiki got sick a bit, but she’s better now.

The real reason I’m writing is more about the job. It’s nice and all, people are nice, facilities are nice, the project is hella awesome… Like I’m going to be teaming up with some of bioinformaticists and using their gene expression data to look at potential targets for AAV. The director of this division says I’m on a ‘fast track’ to lead scientist. It’s kind of intimidating honestly but… This could be really good for me.

Also… They don’t drug test. So I won’t have to worry about using weed on the weekends or after work, and needing to explain why it’s in my system, which is a great relief. I used the excuse that I needed to know ahead of time so I could get written excuse from my doctors because ADHD meds will show up, which is true but… Yeah…

Anyways, went on a hella tangent… What I really wanted to say was the CEO/CSO of the company is insanely attractive. Like, look at him!:

Insert photo of Dr. Senju here eventually.

He’s got this hard look to him. I think he might be albino? He’s got this red tinge in his eyes, which might be from the blood vessels but humans with albinism usually have super pale blue eyes, but… Who knows. He’s a silver fox, but he’s only like 33? He built the company right out of his own postdoc and it kind of boomed within the 5-7 years it’s been up and running. His ambition… Fuck it’s attractive. Maybe the stress from building it all caused him to go fully grey so early. He’s also Colombian I guess? If I ever do meet him I’ll have to talk to him in Spanish. So far I haven’t met any Hispanics within the company which kind of sucks. Oh well, I already put my flag in the pencil holder at my desk. I’m sure they’ll find me eventually. Us hispanics congregate in herds, always find each other and then can’t be separated.

Mr. Dr. Bossman and I locked eyes, his mouth parted slightly when he saw me, then he looked away while clenching his jaw. Hopefully I didn’t do anything to piss him off when we locked eyes… I think I was just filling out some paperwork. His ears were red too, but he is rather pale… I’m probably just imagining things. Anyways, I’mma yeet.

June 12th, 2020

The past few weeks have been really busy, with a LOT of reading. Lit review… I still remember spending two months straight at the beginning for grad school just reading papers with Kiki by my side. (Kiki is my dog, for any archeologist in the future who discovers this. She’s a tiny schnauzer and she’s the sweetest, chillest, calmest thing ever and if I win the lottery I will make it my life’s work to clone her.)

Anyways, I’ve been reading about potential therapeutic targets. I had asked them what type they wanted, like for which disease. The dude was like: Just pick a department to collaborate with. So they have a cancer department, so I went with that. Tried looking for glioma targets, and after a lot of work with the bioinformatics team, we went with RB1. Which is kind of dumb because I could’ve just chosen that without needing to fill my head with soooo much gene regulation data. Seriously, that’s why I’m going out tonight. I need to be head empty for a bit. I mean I get why we chose it. It’s statistically speaking one of the most mutated genes in gliomas, and it’s mutated in other cancers so if the therapeutic use is successful, then it can be marketed to other areas. Still, feels a little like I wasted the past couple weeks.

Anyways, I’m actually going to look good when I go out tonight. I’ll paint my face with makeup and put on a pretty dress, maybe a sun dress, and I’ll go out. Maybe find someone to sleep with. I could use a good lay. I found the SCCA region thing here. I’m hoping to do a track day here soon and go autocrossing. Anyways, I’mma yeet and get ready.

August 7th, 2020

I told you I really suck at this kind of thing. I can’t keep up, but I’ve decided to not beat myself up about it anymore. I’ll write when I write. I’ve felt really happy lately. Also I’ve gotten really tan and my hair is kinda gold colored now because of the sun I’ve been getting. Good thing I’ve been wearing short shorts and a tank top so I don’t look like a farmer, but my stomach is sooooo pale compared to my limbs and upper torso. It’s a bit weird but, eh.

So I met the CEO/CSO. Dr. Senju. I was leaving work and I stopped on the way because he was in the parking lot with the hood up. He was waiting for a tow truck but it just turns out there was a coolant leakage. I waited with him while the engine cooled down and then put in some water. I ended up taking off my shirt to remove the cap on the radiator… The whole thing went kind of like this:

I walked to my bike, and unlocked it while bending over in my lycra shorts that started at the waist and ended just below my butt. The bottom of my ponytail tickled the exposed skin on my waist as my red tank top had ridden up my back. I took off my back pack and tossed it into the basket on the back of my bike. After I pulled out my aviator shades from my tank top and put them on, I hoped on my bike and started to make my way out of the parking lot, only to stop when I noticed someone with the hood of their car open. I pedaled my way over to the silver car and stopped in front of it. I got off of my bike that I built from junkyard scraps and put down the kickstand. Once I was sure the, perfectly functional bike albeit sometimes unsteady, was standing still I made my way to the other side of the hood where the owner awaited.

“Having car trouble?” I questioned with a smile as I approached the silver haired man. When he turned around I flinched, noticing it was the CEO/CSO of the very company I had just clocked out from. He was on the phone when he turned to me with an annoyed look on his face. I grimaced and shoved my hands into the non-existent pockets to then awkwardly cross my arms underneath my chest. I started to take a look at the engine on the Audi TTS that was still smoking some. I bet… I took off my sunglasses before I dropped down to the ground and stupidly placed my palms on the hot concrete as I peaked under the car. There was coolant on the ground. I quickly pushed up with a hop and slapped my palms onto my bare caramel colored thighs. When I turned to him again, I saw that he was on the phone, one arm across his chest, and his elbow resting on the back of his palm while he held up his phone to his face. His lips were tight and he was staring at me, though I had no idea what to make of his expression. “I know what’s wrong with the car, if you’re willing to wait a bit, I should be able to get it to where you can drive it yourself to the mechanic.” I announced to him as I inspected my palms. He hung up his phone and walked a little closer to me.

“You’re the new gene therapy addition, right?” He questioned as he slid his phone into his pocket. How he was managing to keep wearing that black turtle neck in this heat was beyond me.

“Yeah, I’m Aquarela.” I told him as I held out my hand.

“Dr. Senju.” He pronounced with a Colombian accent. So he does know Spanish… I started to get lost in those curious brick red eyes of his as I felt my lips part ever so slightly while our hands remained clasped. He cleared his throat and pulled his hand away as he turned to the engine and my eyes followed as well. “So what’s wrong with it?” He wondered as he started to lean on the car bumper only to recoil. Everything is so fucking hot.

“I’m guessing you were sitting in the car with it idling for a while before you started to see smoke coming out from under the hood?” I guessed. He turned over his shoulder to look at me with furrowed brows.

“How did you…?” He trailed off as he folded his arms across his chest and looked back to the engine.

“You’re leaking coolant. You’ve probably been low on coolant for a while but it won’t usually leak if you’re driving. Plus when you’re driving, the cool air travels through the grill and helps cool the car while it’s being driven, so it’s less likely to overheat while driving as opposed to still.” I started to explain and he started to watch me as I continued explaining. “Given the size of the puddle, I’d venture to say that you’ve been leaking for a while which means that it should hold enough while you get to the mechanic, but we need to wait for the engine to cool down before pouring water in, otherwise it will just evaporate… That and there’s too much pressure build up to remove the radiator cap right now.” I told him while I opened the coolant cap. I don’t know that it actually helps release the pressure built, but I’d like to think it helps some.

“Shouldn’t I put coolant in?” He asked with his brows furrowed and jaw clenched… No red ears this time… Huh…

“Ideally yes, do you happen to have any on you?” I asked as I turned to face him. He studied my face for a moment before looking over to the engine, his arms still crossed. He was clearly frustrated.

“No.” He muttered.

“If you really want, I suppose I can go get some up the street. There’s a gas station a few blocks from here that probably has some coolant.” I offered as I shrugged. “It’ll take me a bit but we need to wait for the engine to cool down anyways.” I remarked as he turned to me with his eyes widened a smidge before he shook his head.

“You’re certain using water won’t damage the engine, correct?” He interrogated.

“It won’t reach below freezing and it’ll be fine as long as we fill it up. Just don’t go over the speed limit and you should be fine.” I smiled at him and the corners of his lips raised as he placed his hands into his pockets. “Should we go inside and get some water then?” I questioned while I rocked on my feet.

“Yes, lets.” He acknowledged. He was about to put the hood of his car down but I stopped him while placing my hand on his. His eyes snapped to mine as he looked over his shoulder, and I noticed his ears were red and his brows were furrowed again.

“Let the engine breathe a bit, there’s a cool breeze going.” I suggested, and he gave a quick nod. His brows unfurrowed and our eyes remained locked as my hand lingered on his. I pursed my lips and removed my hand as he shoved the one I touched into his pocket while he went around to lock his car. I went to walk my bike over to lock it back up again, although this time just the body. After putting my backpack on, I started to walk back into the building with Dr. Senju by my side. He slid his keycard through the pad at the door and held the door open for me before I walked inside. We then made our way past the lobby and into the elevator.

I rocked back on my heels and gripped onto the railing as if I were to start to work my triceps, but no… I just stood awkwardly because… Why not? Him on the other hand… Hands in pockets, standing up so very straight after he pressed the button of the floor my office and the lab I worked on was in… Did he know where I worked? That I’m aware of his office is a few floors up from me… “How do you know so much about cars?” He asked, trying to make conversation.

“My dad. He likes to race them and he got me into cars since I was about… 2?” I laughed as he watched my face with a raised brow. “There’s a photo of me holding the steering wheel of my dad’s Datsun 510 when I’m about two years old.” I explained and he scoffed while looking down with the edges of his mouth turned up. “I started to learn how to drive stick when I was about 8, could officially drive stick when I was about 12, started racing go karts officially when I was 11, then I had my first autocross race when I was about 17…?” I rambled as I stared at the ceiling of the elevator.

“Autocross?” He spoke and when I turned to him his brow was raised slightly.

“It’s when you race in a timed lap against other people. It was done completely legally.” I added quickly. “You could probably autocross your audi, should you ever want to.” I remarked with a smirk. “No prior car knowledge needed to participate.” I teased as my smirk grew into a grin. He pursed his lips for a moment and kept the edges of his lips turned up. “Or you could race mine… Or simply ride with me while I race…” I suggested while I elbowed him. He pursed his lips again… Was he trying to hold back a smile…? The elevator door opened and he cleared his throat once again before gesturing for me to go on ahead with his arm. I walked onto the floor and started to head towards the labs. I reached over for my lab coat but he stood close behind me and placed his hand over mine.

“I won’t allow you to go in there without long pants. I can’t risk you getting hurt.” He spoke with such a deep commanding voice. His body wasn’t touching mine, but he was close enough to where I felt his hot breath against the outer shell of my ear and it all sent a shiver down my spine.

“I’m just getting water… I’ll be fine.” I insisted.

“I understand you just got out of academia, but I can’t allow that here.” He demanded as his hand gently squeezed mine before letting go. My hand fell to my side and I turned around, stuck between him and the lab door. His height towered over me as I looked up into his eyes, getting caught in them once again while I waited for him to step aside so I could walk out. He stared back into mine and I could swear his eyes drifted to my lips.

“Dr. Senju… I…” I motioned to the area past him. He cleared his throat and he stepped aside while his ears turned red and blush crept onto his cheeks. I could feel my cheeks growing warm as my fingertips went up to touch them. When I turned back to watch him, I quickly ran to the door and poked my head through. “Ideally we want distilled water!” I clarified quickly as he was about to gather tap water into one of the pyrex bottles. He turned off the faucet and switched to the other one as I indicated and I backed out of the lab. I walked over to my desk and rested up against it as I waited for Dr. Senju… Tobirama… Which, I’m glad I didn’t call him that because clearly he likes formalities.

“That’s right, you’re Puerto Rican.” He commented as he snapped me away from my staring at running shoes.

“You say that like you already knew where my desk was.” I remarked with my head tilted as I straightened. His ears turned red as his eyes looked everywhere but to me. “Do you have everyone’s desk location memorized…?” I teased with a smirk. His eyes narrowed as he glared.

“I am simply observant!” He snapped which caused me to flinch. He huffed a deep exhale as he turned away and I could see his ears were red again. “I saw you sitting there when you first started… I have a good memory… Photographic.” He huffed before he motioned for me to walk ahead of him without looking at me. I stood up straight while a smirk grew and walked ahead of him towards the elevator.

“So, sabes español entonces?” I questioned as I pushed the elevator button to go down. When I looked at him his face was stonewalled and showed no presence of emotion whatsoever. The elevator dinged as it opened and we both walked inside and faced the door. I rested up against the elevator wall and crossed my ankles while folding my arms underneath my chest.

“Hablo español pero creo que deberíamos mantener esta relación, profesional.” He spoke with a stern, deep voice and a slight Colombian accent. His jaw was clenching as I peeked over at him and his ears were red… His ears turned red a lot. I straightened up and tightened my hold on myself.

“Have… Have I done something unprofessional?” I uttered and I started to feel some knots form in my stomach.

“Your attempt to walk into the lab without the proper safety equipment was quite unprofessional.” He remarked and I could feel the blood drain from my face as I stared at the elevator floor.

“I-I…” I sighed and when I peaked up at him I could see him staring at the elevator panel with no emotion in his face. I was starting to feel queasy. “Every lab has their own leniencies for safety given the chemicals used in said lab… Now that I know what the rules are here…” I turned my whole body to him as I stood up straight. “You have my word, I will never attempt that again.” I told him with certainty, hoping to salvage my job.

“I understand how things function in academia, but we need to be stricter here. You’re in industry now.” He clarified, finally turning to me. “Don’t forget that.”

“I hope you won’t hold it against me… I quite like this job.” I informed as I stared down at my feet as I clasped my hands behind my back and rocked on my feet.

“I’m glad you like it here.” He spoke with a soothing, calm… Deep… Dreamy… Voice. I could feel my cheeks turning pink again and I rested back on the elevator wall. “I do actually have plans for you here, so I’m comforted to know you’d like to stay for a while.” He mentioned while studying my face, which was turning redder by the second. “I read your dissertation you know.” He mentioned with a more off handed tone, but even I knew that a man like him would never mention something like that off hand.

“All of it?” I wondered.

“All 214 pages of it. How is ‘the best dog’ doing? Well I hope.” He wore the world's smallest smug smile and I, who usually don’t care or get flustered by what other people think at all… Was trying to hide my face because I was certain my rosacea had me looking like a tomato.

“She’s good. Enjoying being somewhere warm again.” I smiled thinking of Kiki, who was probably eager for me to get home. “Do you have any pets?” I asked, finally having the courage to face him again. Kiki, working her emotional support magic, even from home.

“No. I am quite fond of dogs, but I work far too much to have one.” He mentioned. “Your work… It was very interesting, that concept you came up with… Using microRNAs to silence the mutated gene, which is compact and tried, while also adding in the replacement gene… It’s ingenious really. How did you come up with it?” He rested on the wall facing me now, studying me like a slide under a microscope. Our eyes locked again and a soft smile grew on my face. This man who’s a genius… Wanted to know how I came up with my ideas… The elevator dinged open and he cleared his throat again as we both straightened while motioning for me to walk on ahead. I stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby, before walking alongside him to head out of the building.

“It might be a little unprofessional to tell you, but I assure you… I’m very open about it and I don’t mind talking about it.” I warned, but he didn’t stop me. Instead his brow was raised… He was intrigued. “It’s the double edged sword of ADHD… All of the out-of-the-box creativity without any of the ability to execute your ideas.” I explained with a smile before stepping outside and holding the door open for him. He gave a small nod and the corners of his lips were turned up. “The ADHD meds help with the execution, but dim the creativity… So once in a while I go on ‘holidays’ where I don’t take the meds for a few days-“

“I’m aware of what holidays are… My brother has ADHD.” He remarked as we walked over to his car. When we stopped at his engine, he turned on his heels and watched me for a moment. “You remind me of him some… You’re both very… Charismatic.” He commented before giving himself the world's smallest smile. I grinned before I took off my backpack and my tank top and placed it over the radiator cap, but it was still to hot too hold onto after a few seconds. “You didn’t have to-“

“It’s fine.” I told him while waving him off and throwing my tank top over my shoulder. “I work in these tank tops all the time, they’re used to some car grease.” I told him as I wiped the sweat off of my brow before looking at him. His eyes were wandering and his ears were turning red again before he faced away. Did he… No… I shook my head and crossed my arms under my chest, tugging at my sports bra some. “Anyways, I’ll take a day off when I’ve been hyper focusing and reading about a problem… That’s usually when the ideas come to me.” I mentioned with a shrug. He watched my face closely as I stared back at him.

“Is that how you came up with RB1 as your target?” He wondered.

“Yeah… It’s a versatile target… It just made the most sense honestly. We’ve got a baseline for our cell line now, so I’m going to start designing the vector insert soon.” I informed as I started squinting a bit, now that the sun was in my line of sight. I took my aviator glasses and put them on, now being able to see appropriately.

“I’d like to see your process if you don’t mind…” He mentioned while he was looking down at the bottle in his left hand. His left hand that had no ring… No Aqua… Don’t.

“I think I would… I’d get distracted too easily…” I gripped onto my bicep and shrugged.

“Yes well… Alright. If you change your mind, please do let me know. I’m very interested to see how you work.” He remarked.

“I mean… If you’re that interested, would you mind if I stop by your office if I want to bounce ideas off of you?” I questioned. “I don’t think that will distract me, although I might interrupt you, talk over you, or something else unprofessional while in that state, so I please ask that you don’t hold that against me.” I warned while waggling my finger and finished with it placed over my lips. He huffed a chuckle while shaking his head.

“Again, my brother has it. I’m well aware of what it can look like. Please, stop by my office as you want. I hope to grow this into an entire department… And I’d like you to lead.” He started with his itty bitty smile to then finish with that stonewalled face.

“No pressure…” I joked as he huffed another chuckle. I felt the cap of the radiator and turned it just a smidge to then wait as it hissed and I quickly removed my hand to then wipe it on my thigh. “Soon.” I commented. “So you’re close with your brother?” I asked while straightening.

“Yes… We are very close. It’s just me and him. Plus, despite being the older one, he needs someone to keep an eye out on him.” He clenched his jaw but I smiled at him.

“That’s sweet.” I blurted to then feel my cheeks turn rosy while his ears turned red again. I bent over the engine and loosened the cap some more and stopped quickly when it started to hiss again, leaving it be as I flung my hand back. Dr. Senju placed the pyrex bottle on the ground, came around, and snatched my hand to inspect my palm.

“Are you alright?” He questioned with worry in his tone as his brows furrowed as he held my hands in his.

“I’m fine.” I chuckled as I looked at my slightly reddened palm. He looked at me with a scowl on his face.

“Nonsense with pressure buildup like that you could hurt yourself!” He snapped to then clench his jaw. My smile faded as I stared into his eyes that were looking closely at my palm. He’s so concerned… Yet he’s so angry… How amusing. “Does it hurt?” He muttered.

“No.” I insisted with another chuckle. He smoothed his thumb over it as he didn’t believe me and although it did sting a bit, it was nothing to cause me to flinch. He smoothed over it a few more times, and slowly the redness went away. My lips parted and I felt my cheeks turn red again. When his eyes caught mine, his eyes drifted towards my lips after a moment and he squeezed my hand. He cleared his throat and stepped back as he let go of my hand.

“Just, be cautious… Please.” He pleaded as his head whipped to look at the engine with his ears as red as my cheeks.

“Ok.” I whispered. The hissing had stopped so I finished removing the cap, bent over to grab the bottle, and slowly poured the water into the radiator. “So tell me more about yourself.” I demanded as a way to help break the silence.

“Such as…?” He questioned.

“Whatever you feel is professionally appropriate.” I teased, stealing a glance as I looked over my shoulder to see him narrowing his eyes at me as he crossed his arms against his chest.

“Well… I received my PhD from Stanford.” He mentioned.

“Oh I got rejected from there. They sent me a paper rejection… Paper! Who uses paper in 2015?” I shook my head and chuckled as I straightened once the bottle was empty. “We’re going to need more water.” I commented after handing him the bottle. He nodded so I put on my tank top again, along with my backpack, so we could head into the building to get more water.

“The tattoo on your shoulder blade… What’s the significance of it?” He was asking about my taíno coqui and the scripture underneath: Borincana aunque naciera en la luna. We walked into the lobby and I pressed the up button on the elevator.

“The words are in reference to a poem turned to song. Originally it’s about a Newyorican talking about how akin he feels to Puerto Rico, but to me it’s about how I was born in Florida and was raised in Puerto Rico. My dad was in the Coast Guard, so we were stationed in Florida when I was born, but I lived in Puerto Rico since I was 3 and it was the only culture I’ve ever known.” I shrugged as I leaned back against the elevator. I stole a glance from the corner of my eye to see his face emotionless as he nodded.

“And the symbol?”

“It’s a coqui. The Taíno symbol for it anyways. They were the native tribe that used to live in Puerto Rico before colonization.” I elaborated.

“My brother and I recently had our DNA sequenced, and now that Hashirama knows he’s 25% aboriginal… He wants to take a trip to Colombia to rediscover ‘our roots’.” He motioned with air quotes before he shook his head and huffed a chuckle.

“Recently? I had mine sequenced back in 2012… Pretty much as soon as I had the money to spare for the test.” I remarked with raised brows, surprised that the CEO/CSO of a bioinformatics company only just now had his DNA sequenced.

“Yes well, I should clarify.” He motioned for me to exit the elevator, so I stepped on ahead. “I did sequence my DNA ages ago, but I never gave emphasis to the genealogy aspect of it until Hashirama got his done.” He commented and I smiled as I watched him walk into the lab. I rested back up against my desk and watched him with my arms folded underneath my chest. When he walked back out our eyes met and locked as he slowly made his way to me. His height towered over me and his eyes broke to lower down to my lips, where mine drifted to do the same. I stood up straight and moved my hands behind me to clasp onto the edge of the desk, willing myself to hold back. “I got the water…” He whispered. That was just enough to snap us both back to reality. He cleared his throat and took a step back while he shook his head and I could see his ears turning red again as blush crept onto my cheeks. I chuckled some as a soft smile grew.

“Yes, I see that…” I hummed happily, giving him one last glance before heading over to the elevator as he continued to stare at his shoes. “So how much… Arawak is it in Colombia?” I was trying my best to recall my Puerto Rican history classes in high school.

“According to Hashirama’s latest fascination, the Arawaks are a broad term that include both your Taínos, and our Lokonos, which refers to the indigenous people of the Caribbean and South America respectively.” He spoke almost like he was reiterating from a textbook, which he mentioned having photographic memory… So maybe he was? I chuckled some before stealing a glance at him as the elevator made its way back to the lobby.

“It’s been a while since I studied this. I did a report on the Taínos in my Native American studies class in undergrad, but before that I hadn’t studied about the Taínos since highschool. You’ll have to forgive me, I’m a bit rusty.” I finished with a toothy grin as the doors to the elevator opened.

“You are forgiven.” He bore a small smile that made my heart flutter as we made our way through the main lobby.

“I’m honored to have earned your forgiveness.” I teased with a hand pressed to my chest as I walked backwards while watching him and pushed out on the door with my behind. He pursed his lips, likely trying to maintain his composed and stoic sense of self. I’m slowly catching onto your ways Dr. Senju.

“You are trouble…” I heard him hum under his breath, and I am so happy for my great hearing, so I can tease him further.

“I heard that.” I commented as I caught up behind him while we walked to his car. His ears turned red again and he was trying to avoid my gaze, so I simply snatched the bottle from his hands. I ran up ahead and started pouring the water into the radiator until it was filled, then I closed the cap, and filled the coolant section up to the full mark.

“Would you like me to take you home, so you don’t have to ride your bike I mean?” He offered as I closed the coolant cap and handed him the bottle.

“Nah, I like riding my bike… Feeling the warm sun on my skin.” I hummed happily as I looked up to the bright blue, cloudless sky. “Besides, then I’d have to drive into work the next morning and I don’t feel like paying for that expensive car park.” I shrugged to then look at him with my face scrunched while I shook my head. The corners of his mouth turned upwards and he watched me as I closed the hood of his car. I turned to face him and smiled. “You should be good to go. Just don’t idle in the car before it's fixed, and be more careful with speed bumps… Although I guess it could just be a valve… or a gasket… who knows…” I shrugged while looking at the car as I trailed off. “Anyways!” I met his eyes again. “I’m going to head home. My dog is waiting for me.” I told him with a smile.

“Thank you Dr. Juarbe. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to repay you.” He spoke as he stepped closer to me.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry.” I waved him off but he clasped onto my fingertips. His gaze held mine but it broke as his cell phone went off. He took a step back and cleared his throat, letting go of my hand as he reached in his pocket for his cellphone. “I’ll see you soon… I’m sure.” He spoke before he answered his call. I nodded and waved before I walked back to my bike to head home.

So that’s what happened. God is Dr. Senju dreamy… I’m not sure he’s really interested in me though, but if he is, he really doesn’t want to be. He probably isn’t though. I’m just reading too much into things. Ah well… At least I found out I have a good place with the company. And I get to burst into the Bossman’s office whenever I want! Not a whole lot that can get better than that! Anyways, I’mma yeet.

#tobirama #tobirama senju #tobirama fluff #tobirama x ofc #tobirama AU #idk what tags do people use when they make OFCs #tobirama x aquarela

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the-bejeesus · 4 years ago

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To Those Who Say “I’m not gonna catch up on One Piece until it’s finished. Why would I watch/read 1000+ episodes/chapters when I don’t even get to know how the story ends?”

Now for the past few years, when I came across somebody who said this, my rebute would be something like “Well the series is great already. It doesn’t really matter if I don’t know how it ends, because the journey itself is enjoyable.” or “Man if that’s your excuse, who you gonna explain why you read/watch stuff like Berserk, Hunter X Hunter, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and My Hero Academia? Newsflash, they aren’t done yet.” But it came across my mind that I can now apply a completely different approach:

“If you start watching/reading at this pace right now, it will be over by the time you catch up.”

If you’re a fan of the series, you’ll know that for awhile now Oda has been saying that he plans to end the series in just 5-4 years. Now he’s made lots of claims in the past that turned out to be ridiculous. However, many One Piece researchers have compiled his claims and found out that they only get more accurate as time goes on, with the most ridiculous claims being found to be myths. And with the most recent claims of ending the series in less than 5 years, even his editors who are usually skeptical have started to trust that he can do this. After all, he has officially set there to be only one more saga (which isn’t necessarily one arc, but it’s either going to be 1-2 major arcs or an anthology of 5-6 shorter arcs). And now that we can trust this claim, we can essentially extrapolate how many chapters/episodes are left and what pace we have to binge to catch up at just the right time.

If you plan to read the manga (black and white):

The manga in black in white is a perfectly fine way to enjoy One Piece. It’s what Oda draws, it’s how he intends it to be viewed, and best of all, it will be the first version of publication to finish.

Out of the 1223 weeks since the first chapter published in July 19, 1997, 1000 chapters have published, meaning on average he publishes 42 chapters per year, or in other words, there are only 10 hiatuses per year (including holidays where WSJ does not publish). Now if I wanted to be more accurate, I’d only look at the chapters published this year, to exclude outliers like how he had no hiatuses for the first 200 chapters, or how he had a 4-week hiatus during the timeskip, but 2020 has been a bit crazy, so we’re not doing that for this or any of the others.

Going off of this, the final chapter would be chapter 1212 in December 28, 2025 (yes, the 28th would be a Sunday again.) So here’s how you’d calculate the pace in which you need to read One Piece, and really this is how we’ll calculate it for every version)

Now I know math is boring, but the reason I’m showing this to you is because the amount of weeks until One Piece ends will vary based on when you start this binge. Chances are you aren’t going to start the day you see this post, and there’s an even greater chance you won’t see this post the day it’s posted. For every example I’m going to assume you started binging on December 28, 2020. Now let’s try to use it for this example.

And there’s your answer, just read 4-5 chapters per week. By the end, One Piece should be nearly over or have very recently ended. To put that into a different perspective, you could purchase and read just two volumes per month and you’ll be at prime pace. Or you could read one chapter every day, but only on weekdays. If you want to, you can see this calculation in action in graph form.

While this is a very rudimentary graph, it’s a basic visualization of what we’re calculating here. We’re calculating what speed we need to binge to catch up at exactly the right moment. I say exact, but ultimately no one can predict how many chapters there will be exactly, nor how many hiatuses Oda will go on during it. It will be important, as you’re nearing the end, to find a spoiler-free way to keep up on how close One Piece is to ending. To know whether you ought to speed up or slow down.

If you plan to watch the anime (subtitled):

For years now people have hated on the anime “terrible animation!” “terrible pacing” but at the end of the day, it’s the more popular version. Or the more viewed version I should say. And personally, I think that once you acknowledge its problems and learn how to deal with them, it’s a perfectly fine experience. There’s enough good voice acting and enough good storytelling that you’re easily able to ignore the problems. Plus, the animation has substantially improved since Wano.

Now for this we’re going to have to change a lot of variables to get this right. We’re going to have to adjust when publication started, and recalculate when One Piece will end by looking at how slowly the anime adapts the manga, and how behind it is. The anime aired on October 20, 1999, and has aired 956 episodes since then. This means on average they air 44.9 episodes per year, meaning there is pretty much only 7 breaks the entire year. With these 956 episodes, they have adapted 955 chapters, making the pace almost exactly one chapter per episode. However this is really inaccurate, considering all the better-paced arcs earlier on in the story. Looking solely at episodes 2012 and onwards, the anime adapts at a pace of 0.65 chapters/episode.

Knowing that there are roughly 212 chapters left, and Toei adapts at 0.65 chapters per episode, we can assume that there are going to be roughly 324 episodes left. That sounds like too many, but keep in mind that there will be several, several instances where the manga will be on hiatus whereas the anime will keep on airing. Knowing there are approximately 324 episodes left, and that the anime only takes about 7 breaks a year, we can assume that it will take 7 years, or 374.49 weeks before the anime will end. So now we have the information we need to do the math again.

x = 1280/374.49

x = 3.417 episodes/week.

It may seem like a more relaxed binge, since you get a whole 2 extra years to binge, and you only have to do 3-4 episodes per week, compared to the 4-5 chapters. But keep in mind that these episodes are 24 minutes each. Still not at all bad, but you will be spending more time on it overall.

If you plan to watch One Pace:

One Pace is a fan project that edits the anime so that filler and padding is cut, other edits will be made to make the anime more manga-accurate, such as reorganizing scenes, or adding title cards where absent. Originally only used by a niche number of One Piece fans, One Pace has grown in popularity, and has tried to improve its quality to accommodate more fans, such as making their episodes Dual Audio (meaning you can switch between the dub and original Japanese audio tracks), and including Spanish subtitles.

You’d think we’d have to adjust for when One Pace began, how slowly One Pace catches up, and the works, but there’s not much to calculate. Fortunately for us, no matter how far behind One Pace is on editing the current arc, they always like to wrap things up just a few weeks within when an arc ended, if not the very same week. So really all we have to calculate is how many One Pace episodes there will be by the end of all this, so that we know how many you’ll need to watch per week.

Looking solely at what they’ve covered so far, One Pace has taken 573 episodes and condensed it down to 259 episodes. That’s a pace of 2.21 anime episodes/ paced episode. Earlier we calculated that there would be 324 episodes of the anime left, making for 1280 episodes total. This would mean that there would be around 578 One Pace episodes by the end. And One Pace would probably wrap up in, let’s say 376 weeks, because as I said, they’ll probably finish editing the final arc a week or two after the last episode airs.

x = 578/376

x = 1.53 episodes per week

Now that’s a relaxed pace. 1-2 episodes per week? That’s so slow, I’m not even sure if I’ll remember what I watched last week next time I watch some episodes. The only problem is some of the pre-timeskip still haven’t been edited. They’ll probably be done by the time they finish the final arc, but that’s not gonna work out fast enough. You’ll hit your first roadblock about 7 weeks in when you need to watch the Baratie arc and it’s not done. And don’t even get me started on how many arcs aren’t done in dub or Spanish sub yet. Hopefully you could just switch to the anime or manga when you hit these arcs, readjusting how many episodes/chapters you need to watch/read when you do. But that’s a bit of an excessive amount of math for something that’s supposed to be fun. So yeah, if you’re still convinced you shouldn’t get into One Piece until it’s ended, maybe this is the option for you.

If you plan to read the manga (Colored):

Since 2012, Shueisha has made a colorization of One Piece. It’s not a fan coloring, it’s as official as it gets. Many consider the color schemes portrayed in this version as the most canon, as the majority are pulled straight from whatever colored illustrations of Oda’s they can find. And quite frankly it makes the manga at least 10 times more beautiful. It’s especially great if you have trouble interpreting dense, small black and white panels.

This one is a doozy. You’d think all I gotta do is calculate how far behind the colored manga usually and just adjust from there, right? Wrong. Because how far behind the colored manga is, or how frequently they release volumes in full color, is one of the most inconsistent things I have ever seen. You wanna see what I’m talking about? This is how they’ve chosen to release each volume since 2012:

Volume 1-12: July 15, 2012

Volume 13-23: September 28, 2012

Volume 24-63: December 4, 2012

Volume 64-65: April 4, 2013

Volume 66-68: December 20, 2013

Volume 69-70: August 25, 2014

Volume 71-72: September 16, 2015

Volume 73-75: October 4, 2016

Volume 76: December 2, 2016

Volume 77: March 3, 2017

Volume 78: July 2, 2017

Volume 79: September 4, 2017

Volume 80: December 4, 2017

Volume 81-82: March 3, 2018

Volume 83: October 4, 2018

Volume 84-86: August 2, 2019

Volume 87-92: September 16, 2020

How I am supposed to find out how long it will take for Shueisha to colorize the final volume of One Piece is beyond me. I guess the first step would be to look at how far behind the manga each release was on average, but I’m going to ignore all the ones before 2013, because those were clearly just Shueisha catching up really fast cause they just started and didn’t want to be dozens of volumes behind forever. So of the 14 publications between 2013 and now, on average the last chapter of the last volume they colored was 97.78 weeks after that chapter had published in Weekly Shonen Jump. This means that if the final chapter of One Piece is chapter 1212 on December 28, 2025, then you can expect the final colored volume to publish November 14, 2027.

x = 1212/359

x = 3.37 chapters/week

So if you prefer the manga but don’t want to read 5 chapters every week for 5 years, this might be a better option for ya. But yea, I have no doubt my prediction is at least a little off for this one.

If you plan to watch the anime (dubbed):

Unlike the 4KidsTV and Odex dubs of One Piece, the FUNimation dub is a perfect way to enjoy One Piece. The DVDs come with enjoyable commentary and a marathon mode, great for binging.

FUNimation’s releases of the dub are inconsistent, although not nearly as erratic as the colored manga release. However, there was recently a 2-year hiatus we only just got out of. Since Episode 1′s dub in May 27, 2008, the dub has gotten as far as Episode 614. But that’s only looking at the DVD releases. If you’re willing to stream on FUNimationnow, the dub is as far as 641, and if you’re willing to digitally purchase it from an e-shop such as the Microsoft store, it goes all the way to Episode 654. With that being said, that would mean that on average, FUNimation dubs 1.004 episodes per week. Although if we go back to before the two-year hiatus so as to exclude it from the average, it’s actually 1.10 episodes per week. Not a huge difference, actually. And then if we look solely after the two-year hiatus, it’s actually 2.25 episodes per week, which is insanely faster. It’s hard to tell what the future of the dub will be. I can’t assume they’ll go this fast forever, so I’m just going to take the average of all 3 and say it’s 1.45 episodes per week. Don’t know if that’s the best mathematical approach, but the number seems about right.

So knowing that the dub is at Episode 654 and looking at our previous guesstimation that the anime will be 1280 episodes long, we can predict that it will take 431 weeks before the dub catches up and ends. That would be in 2029! Sounds quick at first until you notice it’s 4 years behind!

x = 1280/431

x = 2.96 episodes per week

Looks like it’s almost exactly 3 episodes per week. Not as much less of a workload as I expected, compared to catching up to the sub. You know, I figured those 4 extra years would make you binge a lot slower.

Final Thoughts:

There’s a lot of my math that was estimation, approximations, extrapolations. Feel free to correct me or fact check me, especially if you plan on using this. I figured this would be a fun thought excercise. There’s also a lot of smaller variables I simply didn’t want to take into account because of how long this is already. For example, reading the black and white manga. The calculation can vary slightly depending on if you read it the day it’s published (which I assume would have to be a fanscan unless you can read Japanese), reading the weekly publication legally on Viz.com, waiting for the physical volume release. The dub can also vary depending on whether you buy from Microsoft, wait for the FUNimationnow release, wait for the DVDs, or wait for the Collection sets. So feel free to take this into account.

#One Piece #OP #ワンピース #Wan Pīsu #anime #manga #FUNimation #dub #One Pace

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harrypotterthehufflepuff · 5 years ago

Text

Reunion

This was requested by: Anon !

Request: Hey, I love your writing so much! If it’s not too much trouble, can I request a story where the reader and Fred Weasly have been dating for a while. And she goes away for the summer and they have a super fluffy reunion when she gets back, or maybe he pulls a prank on her too. Everything else is up to you, and you can stick loosely to the request if you want. Have a great day!

It makes me so happy to hear that you enjoy my Writing >.

I had SUCH fun doing this. And I hope that it’s what you had in mind.

Warnings: none

Pairing: Fred Weasley x reader

Word count: 1.2 k

If you’d like to request something please head over to my other blog, https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ronaldandremuslover and I’ll try and fix it for you

~ ~ ~ ~

-A/N- There seemed to be some sort of error with this post as í got endless notifications from Tumblr that something was wrong. So I have decided to re-post it and hopefully, it’ll work this time. Apologies.

~ ~ ~ ~

When the spinning sensation had stopped and you had regained balance after apparating, the easy breeze swished your hair and the smell of newly cut grass reached your nostrils. The gazing August sun was soon descending and it left a beautiful mixture of bright red and yellow on the sky.

The humble house was a couple of hundred feet away from you. It’s extraordinary that such an odd house can carry so much love including wonderful memories, not only a stack of floors stacked upon each other. The burrow was a second home, a second world, really.

A distant sound of someone sprinting was heard. And, without much opportunity to react, someone had scooped you up into a bone-crushing hug and twirled you around.

The familiar earthy scent mixed with cologne engulfed you.

Arms around his shoulders, you hugged him back just as tightly while grinning like a maniac.

After a good while of just embracing each other, he finally put you down and you could have a good look at him.

His hair was longer than it had been when you left, his eyes were still as bright and his smile just as wild and mischievous. Ginger stubble across his jawline was evident. He looked magnificent.

He seemed to have been checking you out also, as his eyes were scanning your body. And you couldn’t help but feel a little bit flushed as he smirked at you.

“Hello.” You simpered.

“Hello.” The smile on his lips was highly contagious as you soon, too, had a broad grin plastered on your face.

After smiling at each other for a moment it seemed as if you had both thought the same thing. Because when you had rushed towards him he was already on his way to pull you closer to him. And you pulled his collar to drag him down to kiss you. He had one of his hands on your lower back and one by your shoulder blade. It was delightful.

Separating, to catch your breath, he gave you another heartfelt smile.

“I’ve missed you so much, Y/N.” He said, pulling you in for another hug.

Breathing in his fragrance you said, “I’ve missed you too, Fred. So much."

Then, footsteps, a lot of them, were becoming clearer.

"Y/N, dear, how lovely to see you again!” A soft but usually stern voice squealed, that you immediately recognized as Molly’s.

You broke free from Fred’s hug that he was very clearly not happy about as he tightened his grip around you when you tried to step back.

“Oh-Molly!"

You should have seen the hug coming, but no matter how many times you have been hugged by Molly, you never quite get used to them.

"Mum, you’re crushing her,” Fred said, trying to get Molly to release you, “I’d like her to be breathing for a while longer, thank you."

A snort behind the plump witch’s back was heard, "Rich of you to say, you nearly killed her with that bear hug."

The voice belonged to no other than George. And when Molly let go of you, you didn’t hesitate to not swing your arms around him. He laughed but returned the hug.

When you stepped away from George you spotted Ron and Hermione next to you holding hands.

"Well, hello there.” You said looking from their hands up to their faces, that was now scarlet, winking.

“Let’s head inside, shall we?” Said Molly, and levitated your bag in front of her.

~ ~ ~ ~

After a big and lovely dinner, Fred showed you to your room. It was one floor above his own. Even though you hadn’t seen each other for five months Molly would not let you sleep in the same room, nevertheless same bed.

The room was misty and a single bed was placed in the corner of the room. The covers were red and gold stripes with a large lion head in the middle. It looked rather ragged. A dark brown nightstand was located at the side of the bed and on top was a dusty oil lamp.

Fred walked across the room to place your bag on a chair that looked oddly out of place. It seemed as if it was brand new with the shiny back and a white padded bottom.

The floor creaked beneath you as you headed to sit down at the foot of the bed. It, too, creaked when you sat down. Fred took a seat beside you and grabbed your hand.

“I wished you could stay here with me.” You admitted. Your thumb caressing the soft skin of the back of his hand.

He nodded slowly, “I know, me too."

Noises from downstairs were clear. The clinging of pans and pots being washed and chairs scraping the floor, laughing and loud chattering.

"Did you really enjoy it, America?” He asked after noticing you were spacing out.

Smiling you said, “Yeah, I did. It was truly amazing. I saw the statue of liberty and went to all of these amazing restaurants."

He grinned at the enthusiasm you put into your words as you talked about your trip, "And your parents? I suppose they enjoyed it as much as you?”

“Well, yeah. But I think five months was too much for them. That’s why left after three. It was a good thing I brought Leonora with me, a friend like her never ceases to amaze me.”

Suddenly, he toppled backwards onto the bed.

“It sounds great. I need to get out of this house soon, or even better, the country.” He heaved a sigh and looked up dreamily at the ceiling as if his solution would be found there.

You swiftly lay down beside him and cuddled up to him at his side. His hand found it’s usual spot just above your bum and his chin resting on the top of your head. You laid your hand in position on his chest, right above his heart and felt it’s soothing rhythm.

“One day, Fred,” You cooed, “We’ll travel somewhere together. Wherever we feel like. Just you and I."

Even though you couldn’t see it, you knew he was smiling.

"I have always wanted to visit Sweden, you know.” His voice was mellow, almost sleepy.

Your face scrunched up into a weird grimace, “Sweden?” You said surprisingly, “I mean, sure, we could always… go to Ikea."

His body jumped a little as he chuckled, "What do you have against Sweden?"

You yawned, "Nothing, nothing! I just… expected something more- more exotic.”

Your yawn had set him off, too, and he replied, “Anything can be exotic, Y/N, you just have to have a bit of imagination."

"Right.” A very exhausted giggle escaped you.

Your eyelids seemed to have gained a tremendous amount of weight as you could barely hold them up. But when you heard Fred’s soft snores it made you smile like a mad man, and it convinced you to close your eyes and let yourself fall asleep in the arms of the man you love.

You would deal with Molly’s disapproving looks tomorrow.

All that mattered now, was that after five long months of being away from Fred, you could finally cuddle up to him and feel his warmth spreading onto you.

You were officially home.

#fred weasley x reader #fred weasley #fred weasley x you #harry potter #harry potter roleplay #harry potter fanfiction #fanfic #request #hogwarts #george weasley #the burrow #harry potter imagine #fred weasley imagine #imagine #send asks #harry potter fluff

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whenihaveyouromione · 4 years ago

Text

When I Have You - Chapter 24

Read on Fanfiction.net or ao3 if you’d prefer!

Follow this story’s Instagram account whenihaveyou.romione

A/N: The wiggentree is believed to protect from dark magical creatures, which I thought fit perfectly in an office that — despite Hermione’s efforts — are not yet accustomed to treating creatures as equals. I thought it was ironic and fitting for this chapter.

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Chapter 24

“Are you sure you don’t want to take this mission?” Harry asked, waving the sign up sheet in front of Ron. “It’ll be the easiest one, because there’ll be no one about to cause too much trouble.”

“Not likely,” Ron said, pushing the sheet away. “I’ll wait for the one that comes after Christmas. I’d much rather spend Christmas at the Burrow, and with Hermione, than in some run down inn in the middle of who knows where. Ginny won’t be happy when she finds out you’ve signed up to be away for Christmas, by the way.”

“Ginny will be away for Christmas,” Harry said. “Which is why I thought I’d do it.”

“Where will Ginny be?” Ron asked, surprised, as that was the first he’d heard of it.

“Training,” Harry said, shrugging. “Apparently all the new Harpies recruits are being put to the test over the Christmas break. She couldn’t even get the day off to Apparate home.”

“Huh,” Ron said, “life of a professional Quidditch player.”

“So it seems,” Harry said. “Though, thankfully, not quite professional yet.”

Ron, who had felt mildly put out when Ginny had told him she’d been offered a spot in the squad of the Holyhead Harpies, had taken some time to get used to the idea of his sister potentially becoming a professional Quidditch player in the next few months. He was proud of her, of course, but also, he wouldn’t have minded such a job — though, in reality, if he couldn’t perform well in front of the Hogwarts students, he doubted a larger crowd of fans would be any better.

But being in the team had come at a price of being forced to stay in Holyhead more than she could be at home. Sometimes, she’d be away for a week at a time, a fate which Ron sympathised with Harry over from when Hermione had gone to Australia.

“She’s home tonight, though?” Ron asked.

“Yeah, for the next few days,” Harry said. “Then she’s gone again.”

“Honestly, I thought that if Ginny wasn’t going to be home, you might want to spend some time with Teddy — and Andromeda. Mum would still love to have you, too, you know.”

Harry grimaced.

“Yeah… I’ll be seeing Teddy a little before Christmas. Spending a day with him… on my own this time. Completely on my own.”

“You’ll be fine,” Ron said. “He loves you.”

Harry laughed. “I wouldn’t say that, but it’s getting easier each time.”

“Except for the time he completely destroyed your living room, right?”

On one of the times Teddy had visited Harry — the now walking and running small child had gotten into everything that was in the Grimmauld place sitting room. He’d tore out books from bookshelves and ripped up some pages, knocked off empty vases and pulled down the few photos Harry had put up. Ron, who’d witnessed the event, had called Teddy a terror. Hermione had said it was normal for that age.

Harry shook his head at the memory. He’d had all visits with Teddy under the supervision of Andromeda since then.

Ron nodded. “Well, speaking of homes, I better go and drag Hermione from the office to make sure she actually leaves it today. Did you know she didn’t get home until one this morning? Apparently she was working so intently on one of these laws she’s been tasked to write that she lost track of time. She’s not eating properly either, forgoing meals to continue working.”

Harry gave a short laugh. “Well, that’s Hermione, isn’t it? Prioritising work above all else. Do you not remember exam time?”

“Yeah,” Ron said, “but she’s going to wear herself out if she keeps going. We haven’t had a proper conversation in about a week, because she gets home, goes straight to bed, then gets up at a ridiculous hour to head back in. Then, she skips her lunch breaks. She’s mad.”

Harry smiled. “Ah well, good luck tonight then. See you on Monday. Hopefully Hermione has a good rest over the weekend.”

“Ha!” Ron said. “Try telling her that.”

He gave Harry another wave, who’d just finished packing up his own stuff, and headed down the corridor from the Auror office.

The first missions for the trainees were coming up — experiencing time away, on a job. It wasn’t a planned job, and they didn’t yet know where they’d be going, as the Aurors were hoping something would eventuate in that time frame.

There would be one over Christmas (good character building, they said, for when they actually become Aurors and get unexpectedly called away from their loved ones) or one just after New Years.

Ron had chosen the one after New Years, with Neville, while Harry had elected for the Christmas one. He was mad, Ron reasoned. Who would willingly go away for Christmas?

He reached the lift, and instead of going to the atrium and to the fireplaces, he went to the level that the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures was on. Most people headed in the opposite direction to him, with it being slightly after five and keen to get home. But Ron knew that he’d find Hermione hunched over at her desk still, scribbling away at the SPEW law she was working on.

Honestly, he didn’t know why she needed to do so much work for it. She had done much of the research back in her fourth year, but apparently much more than her fifteen year old had managed now needed to be done. Apparently, the long term goal was to banish house-elf enslavement altogether, but for the time being, the law was to have better control over the families house-elves were assigned to. And in the case of generational ownership, she sought to abolish that immediately.

Since August, when she’d started her job, Ron had spent countless evenings listening to her talk about it over dinner, and weekends sitting with her as she pored over books to gather her information. He’d been keen to begin with, but the novelty of it had soon worn off — especially when his own workload increased as he reached the halfway point of his second year of training.

Now, he just wanted her to come home and eat something with him — or, as things currently were, eat anything at all.

He pushed open the Magical Being office, unsurprised to see most desks empty. But over in the corner, by a wiggentree (the irony, Ron thought with a smile), sat Hermione. She didn’t even look up as Ron approached, but continued to scribble on a lengthy roll of parchment, her hand darting backwards and forwards quickly.

“Hey,” Ron said, drawing up a chair to sit opposite her. “It’s past five. You’ve got to come home.”

“I’ve just got to finish this,” Hermione said, not looking up from her work. “You can go. I may be a while.”

“Yeah, you said that last night,” Ron said, “and remind me again when you got home.”

“I lost track of time,” Hermione told him absently. She paused, her brows knitting together for a moment, and then started writing again, just as quick as before.

“Did you eat today?” Ron asked.

“I don’t remember.”

“So, no.”

“I’m far too busy. The workload is increasing each day. But I promise that once I get home, I’ll eat enough to make up for the meals I skipped today.” She paused, still not looking at him. “You can go,” she said again.

“Nope,” Ron said, “I won’t leave until you’re done, which is now.” He removed the quill from her grasp, but she’d not been expecting it, and the ink dragged across her page, leaving a smear across her freshly written notes.

“Ron!” Hermione cried, taking out her wand to remove the smudge. “Can you not do that?” She snatched the quill back, finally looking up at him.

“I want you to come home,” Ron said, a little defensive now. “You can’t stay here all night again. It isn’t healthy.”

“I’ve got so much to do, and it won’t get done —”

“You’re always going to have work to do,” Ron told her as she returned her gaze to the parchment. “And you’re the most organised person I know, so if I can balance my workload each day, then you can, too.”

“Yes, but I have far more than you do, Ron. You’re just a trainee, so you have the qualified —”

“Just a trainee?” Ron asked, a pang of something unpleasant creeping up on him now. “Is that how you see what I do, is it?”

Sighing, Hermione placed her quill down and looked up. She looked so tired, a little stressed — Ron had a feeling that not all of it was caused by her work.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she said, though she didn’t sound all that apologetic. “I just meant… well, an Auror — qualified or in training — is a lot more physical. You do more hands-on things, you’re out and about, so you’re not going to have as much desk work to do. It’s the nature of the job.”

Ron stared at her for a moment, not quite sure he was hearing what she was saying. It wasn’t even what she was saying, but how. She spoke as if what she was doing was far more important — something that had never happened before. She’d always encouraged him, supported him in his journey to become an Auror.

“An Auror is one of the most skilled positions in the magical world —”

“Ron, I know that —”

“Some didn’t even make it to the second year of training —”

“Ron, I didn’t mean… listen, I’m just really tired, and I really need to get this done. Can you just… leave me alone so I can finish it? I’ll be home as soon as I do, but the longer you’re here, the less I get finished.”

“Last week you were asking for my help,” Ron told her, unable to keep the hurt from his voice.

Hermione said nothing. For a moment, they looked at each other, then another moment later, Hermione looked back down at her work.

Ron waited a little longer, watching from the other side of her desk, but it became clear very quickly that she had no intention in having a change of heart.

Annoyed, upset, and a little angry, Ron jumped to his feet, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He watched her for a moment longer before saying, “I’ll see you at home, then. Whenever that will be.”

He marched to the door, but just as he went to swing it open, the magically coloured work timetable that appeared in every office, caught his eye. As they drew to the end of October, offices were beginning to plan for the holiday period.

He paused, reading through the timetable. “I see you’re working Christmas,” he said, not at all kindly.

Hermione gave a start, apparently having not realised he was still there.

“Oh, yes… they needed someone for a few hours in the evening. I said I could do it.”

Ron glared at the timetable for another moment, and then without a word to Hermione, he left. He didn’t go to the atrium, though, but returned to the Auror office, which was now empty.

Locating the sign-up sheets for the missions pinned on the noticeboard, Ron erased his name from the New Years one with his wand and scribbled his name on the Christmas one instead.

If Hermione didn’t think it important enough to take the Christmas break off, then neither did he. If she thought working during a time they were supposed to spend together was a better option, then he’d do the same. He didn’t care. It was only Christmas.

But even as he left, this time definitely returning to the atrium, a feeling of regret began to creep over him. They’d fought last Christmas because of something very similar, and he’d vowed to make sure it never happened again. But they were two months away from their second Christmas together, and already he was consumed with bitterness.

And now he’d just signed the holidays away to boot.

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lostmoonbunny · 3 years ago

Text

Greetings from a Panini World

Yes, I did call this a "panini". I'm hesitant to use the word "pandemic" as I feel many of us have a knee jerk reaction to hide from everything once hearing or seeing that word. However that's the current stat of events. The year? 2021 Where I am located its very much so post quarantine and society has attempted to "return to normal" but its impossible. Between the anti- maskers, anti-vaxxers, and everything else it truly is impossible. "What do you mean?" you ask, well allow me to take you on a journey of a human that has gone through this "history in the making" and share what its been like since January 2020 to September 2021 from the eyes of someone that lived it. -I will preface this with saying, there will be gaps, I have trouble with object permanence, concept of time, and I have memory issues due to past concussions so bear with me as we stumble through the memories of my experiences.

So here we go... Let's travel back to January 2020.

2020..Ahhh the big year of "Clear vision".. HA! No, not today. What I remember was being concerned about this horrible virus but didn't think it would make its way to where I lived.. ( I would be unsurprisingly corrected shortly after this.) I worked, had my birthday, and it was quickly February. The virus was quickly spreading and making its way downtown walking fast faces past.. oops..sorry I got sidetracked, it was making its way down throughout the nation. We celebrated my partner's birthday, and soon after the month was over. February always flies by. March...ahh March, this is where everything started changing for me. Many states were shutting down around us fairly quickly too. ( I have opinions about how the US should've shut down sooner, but we're not here for politics...but yes it should've happened sooner.) My partner, younger brother and I made a last minute trip to the next state for a day trip. Which was fun don't get me wrong but the places we went to shut down for the state's quarantine the next day. My state would follow barely a week later. I was furloughed. That..that was an experience. All of us received the same message as it was a group message. It stated that we were all effectively unemployed ( so we could apply for benefits if we chose to) and that if and when we reopen that they hoped we could come back. I immediately messaged my boss and the boss that messaged us all and double checked learning that I was on the "short list" for rehires. That made me fee a bit better but I was still sad. My partner was considered "an Essential worker" so they worked through the entire lockdown. I swear Animal Crossing New Horizons is one of the only things that got me through that.. from this all the days blended together till June. Not don't get me wrong, plenty of things happened on a personal growth side that was beneficial like I started going to therapy, got even closer to my cousin that lives on the west coast, I played with my cats and dogs more, I caught up on sleep, all sorts of things but the way it had to happen sucked. Also in this time period, my favorite uncle contracts the virus and is put in the ICU on a ventilator. I don't remember how long he was in there but he made it. He is now healthy and survived the virus. So lets fast forward to June. My place of work reopened under specific guidelines. Now I don't know if I've ever mentioned this but I live in the southeast. The southeast, in summer is AWFUL. Its hot, its humid, and then if it DOES rain that humidity just goes up and it gets worse. To give you an idea while the temperature might say its 84 degrees F but the real feel might be 95F. I don't know why they don't just say 95F but that's how it is the southeast... So imagine if you will mid June, being reopened with special rules, masks required for everyone 5 years old and older, and no buildings but restrooms open to the public. The amount of rude, hateful, uncaring people almost made me lose my complete faith in humanity, and its not very high to begin with. Also for context, I work in retail. I feel that says enough there. These rules extend till the end of the year and into part of 2021. While all of this is happening the US is having their presidential elections and everyone has crawled out of the woodwork that you had hoped would stay there. At this point I'm hoping for the best because we really need a paradigm shift in society. We need to truly need to change as a society and in many way, catch up to the rest of the world. I finally gave in a got to tiktok and realize that it is very much a time devourer. I've realized that I feel as if the term "Cassflux" fits how I feel about my gender best, and fully accepted my journey on the path of being a witch.

Lets move in to October, October I ( and my partner) travel to Texas (cautiously) for my cousin's socially distant wedding and our anniversary. That was amazing and the slight escape from reality was truly needed. On our way back we made a stop in NOLA and it was a fun visit, but I realized my baby witch self hadn't veiled or warded myself nearly enough and it got all of "spidey senses" all out of wack. knowing now what I should've done, I do want to go back. The rest of the year went by both incredibly slow and yet in a flash. The US elected a new president, I was working as hard a possible to avoid the virus as much as possible and my partner had gotten a new job with a different company that was making them more happy. So this brings us to 2021. This is the year that I feel that I am truly coming into my own despite living in the middle of a global Panda Express. January brings my turning a landmark age and celebrating it with a new hair style, new outlook on life, progress made in therapy, more self acceptance, and just overall more happiness. The world is still the same, better, but also worse. The vaccine is being produced, distributed, and made accessible. February brings another birthday with my partner's birthday. March rolls around and we jokingly celebrate our work's closing a year prior and then continue to work. The vaccine is made available to retail and food workers so I go and get the first round of the "Dolly Parton" vaccine with my co workers. (If you were wondering its Moderna) We go and receive the second dose later at the correct time. April and May kind of blend together for me because that the ramp up for the busy season at work. June & July are busy but everything is moving forwards. I finally take a step more into the current era of technology and upgrade my phone and computer. ( After several years of going back and forth of not wanting current gen tech or not, because that stuff be expensive!) I reconnect with an old friend and we have a much healthier friendship.

August....hecking August.. We are short staffed at work, busy as heck! My partner is also hecking busy by being called in for almost every problem. The world is deffo changing. The US is in a state of nah nah a boo boo with vaccinating vs not, virus outbreaks having an uptick, universities starting back, Texas deciding that the government gets a say in a woman's reproductive rights... sorry I'll try to not get political. My ( like many others) using tiktok as a means of escape from this reality.. I'm so beyond mentally exhausted by everything that I just want to be somewhere that I can breathe a bit more easy... Its deffo not the southeastern US. September: I. am. exhausted. Working a bunch. Dealing with people doubting the virus, the usual Karens and Richards, counting down my days to vacation. My partner is beyond exhaustion. They've worked more in the past six weeks that they have in two years. The 20th year of 9/11 comes and goes. Not to sound like a country song, but remembering where I was at the moment the planes hit is something that has stuck with me...despite my concussions. I was in my English class and its was between classes and they had the tvs on. So many parents were coming and calling their kids out the school got to the point they weren't going to let kids leave.. ( if the parents complained enough they did.. I was a poorer kid in a more affluent school) My parents weren't going to take me out of school so I finished the day out in a state of confusion, not understanding the gravitas of what was going on, and not understanding was the emotions I was feeling watching the crashes were. I don't claim to even comprehend the emotions of this date to people who lost loved ones in the crashes, or in the oncoming days of the country going to war, I just know how it felt as a child to see something so major happening. I feel its like the kids now living through this panic at the disco. [[If you read this and you lost someone due to either of these horrific events please know that I in no way am invalidating or belittling your feelings or experiences. I merely am trying to describe all of how I feel throughout 2020- roughly current day 2021 and these are the things I was thinking and feeling on this particular day.]]

The days start to blend again as I attempt to countdown the days till my short vacation. Once that starts I get to finally relax as does my partner. The amount of sleep my partner has gotten is incredible and they deserve it dang it! This brings us to today, The last day of September 2021. This are changing at work and I'm not wholly sure of how I feel but I know it will be an interesting discussion for me to have with my therapist coming up. That's all I've got for now.. Hopefully I'll pop back in sooner to give more perspective on what its like living through all of this chaos. Just keep moving forward.

#lostmoonbunny #globalpanini #livingthroughaglobalcrisis #itsachaoticworld #life update #my life #grow #hopeful #becoming me #very tired

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aloysiavirgata · 4 years ago

Text

Love’s Austere and Lonely Offices

Title: Love’s Austere and Lonely Offices

Author: Aloysia Virgata

Rating: PG

Words: 5758

Timeline: Season 9

Summary: “ A letter is in fact the only device for combining solitude and good company.” -- Jacques Barzun

Author’s Notes: This fic was written in 2015. I couldn't bear the thought of their only communication in all that time being the "Dearest Dana" letters. (Which I added to just a teeny-weeny bit. Also added a little to Scully's Carterlogue to William.) Scully quotes from (what else?) Moby Dick and Mulder from The Divine Comedy. The title is from Those Winter Sundays by Robert Hayden.

Fe3O4 is magnetite and R2NCl is chloramine. I know my little ads are cryptic, so there's an addendum at the end for those interested parties. (See the end of the work for more notes.)

Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, May 26 2001 In this world, shipmates, Sin that pays its way can travel freely, and without a passport; whereas Virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers. R2NCl + H2O = Bellefleur + Braddock Heights? So claims a woman with node at C5 **** Ad placed in the Washington Post Classified section, May 29 2001 These have not the hope to die. Developments? Nothing on my end. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 18 Jun 2001 Things are calm for now and hopefully communication can be somewhat regular for a time. I have a cash-under-the-table job at the moment and it covers basic needs. I know you wanted to come, but this is no life for a child. I will be home as soon as I am able. I know that goes without saying, but it makes me feel better to say it anyway. I have to go now. Tell me about William. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 18 Jun 2001 Mulder, It's so good to hear from you, you have no idea. Have you made any progress yet? There have been strange goings-on since you left, but I don't know what to make of any of it. I don't know whom to trust right now and just tell everyone I cannot contact you. I have not been able to make any sense of my last inquiry and am at a standstill. Please tell me everything you discover and let me know what I can do. Don't leave me in the dark on this, Mulder. You can't protect us that way. Let me be of use. Things are fine here. William eats well and sleeps less well, but I nap when I can. He's growing nicely and can focus his eyes for very long periods already and tracks objects at two feet away. His head control is excellent and he is already making deliberate reaches for objects rather than just grasping reflexively. He makes a gurgling sound if I run my finger up the midline of his foot. In addition to snapshots and videos, I have been keeping a journal of all of his changes for when you get back. My mother helps as much as she can but the truth is I prefer to be alone. She wants to talk, and doesn't understand that I just can't right now. I think she's afraid of the quiet and fills it up with noise. She talks to me but doesn't say anything. You know how to let me be silent, Mulder. I miss that. Frohike says William looks like me and Byers says he looks like you and Langly says he looks like Jack Ruby. Which is pretty much what you'd expect to hear from the three of them. Write when you can. Pictures attached. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 22 Jun 2001 He still looks like Skinner to me, your feeble protestations of fidelity aside. He's got your eyes, Scully, and I wonder whose warped sense of humor he's going to claim. I'm not surprised he's ahead of the developmental curve. You read him Brian Greene while you were pregnant. That sets the bar rather high for a baby. Let your mother in. You're all she has nearby and she won't forgive herself for everything that's happened if you don't. Smile and nod, Scully. You do it better than anyone I know. Learn to let people love you. I haven't found much yet because I don't even know what the hell I'm looking for. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 23 Jun 2001 We can only hope that his sense of humor is all his own. I think our particular brand of amusement wouldn't go over too well with the preschool set. Can you imagine Career Day, Mulder? We're going to have to be vague. Pictures of William attached, including one of him eating my hair. Have to run. Stay safe. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 28 Jun 2001 We'd be a hit at Career Day. You could tell them about your Invisible Guy Autopsy. And you know all the kids would want to hear about my time in low orbit. I'm leaving here soon, so it may be a while before I contact you again. Thank you for the pictures. I cannot believe how William has grown. He looks like his own man now instead of just a newborn. I know I once said I never saw you as a mother before, but I must not have been paying attention. You're beautiful, Scully. I miss you both constantly. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 29 Jun 2001 Mulder, I hope nothing serious has happened to necessitate this move and that you have made some headway. I am still having no luck. I'm going to start teaching at Quantico soon. I feel like I'm abandoning you in some way, Mulder. Abandoning our work. But I can't do field work like I used to - not with William - and Doggett and Reyes are doing a good job. I think you'd be impressed. William has been going to sleep at around 10 at night and sleeping until 6 or so. He is such an easy baby and already a hit with the ladies. I bring him to work sometimes and he's quite popular. Skinner gave him a stuffed McGruff the Crime Dog, but he prefers the doll you gave him and sleeps with it now. He's still rather small for the basketball, but that was never my sport anyway. I played field hockey, so free-throw instruction falls to you. Attached is a video of William laying on Skinner's desk. Stay safe. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 19 Jul 2001 He spit up on Skinner's desk? I could watch that all day. You're damned lucky it wasn't Kersh's or you'd be freezing your ass off in a Minnesota field office right now. And of course he's a hit with the ladies, Scully. Not everyone's as hard of a sell on the Mulder men as you. I made it to Wal-Mart and printed out some of those pictures you sent. Keep them coming. Don't ever feel like you're abandoning the work. The most important thing is that you and William stay safe and chasing mutants and government conspirators isn't really conducive to that. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that you're okay. The job at Quantico will be good for you both. I'm doing a little air guitar of "Hot For Teacher" right now… **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 23 Jul 2001 Mulder, I'm sorry it has taken me a bit to get back to you. My mother and I took William to the beach for a couple of days. I dipped his feet in the surf and I was reminded that seawater has a similar chemical makeup to both blood and amniotic fluid. We crawled from those primordial seas so many millions of years ago and carry some of it inside of us to this day. I know you get seasick, but I think we are hardwired to crave the ocean and I want to take William sailing when he's older. I think he has the genes for it. You may not be a sailor, Mulder, but you know the unquenchable lure of the unknown and thrill of riding out a storm. I had a good time with my mom and tried to do as you suggested. She asked after you and I am confident that whatever else she thinks of my life, she accepts that you're an integral part of it. I start teaching next month and I must confess to some anxiety. It has been so long since I stood in front of a lecture hall. I've gotten used to an audience of one for my technical soliloquies. And Van Halen, Mulder? Really? What happened to the King? **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 4 Aug 2001 Was it Chincoteague, Scully? It's right around Pony Penning Day, isn't it? When he's bigger we'll get a place out in the country and let him pick out a pony of his own. And hell, I'll take some Dramamine and we'll all go sailing too. Get out your list-making paper and get to work. I'll be back soon and we'll have the rest of our lives to get it done. P.S. - I always kind of got turned on by your technical soliloquies, so you may want to be careful around some of your more discriminating students. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 5 Aug 2001 Mulder, We went to Assateague, actually, but he did see the ponies and we found horseshoe crabs washed up on the shore. Despite 445 million years of existence, they've scarcely changed at all. It makes you think, I suppose. All the work we humans do to better ourselves and horseshoe crabs have attained perfection. And a pony?! That's a pretty heavy upgrade from your fish. I was thinking we could move more slowly from Cyprinidae to Perissodactyla. Perhaps a stop at Rodentia would be appropriate if you want to venture into mammalian territory. (Are you getting turned on by this?) William holds his head up and looks around without any trouble at all. He wants desperately to sit up and is so frustrated that he can't manage it yet. Any news? **** Ad placed in the Washington Post Classified section, August 13, 2001 For where the instrument of intelligence is added to brute power and evil will, mankind is powerless in its own defense. Fe3O4 + R2NCl = ? **** Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, August 15, 2001 And some certain significance lurks in all things, else all things are little worth... I'll let you know if I hear anything. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 20 Aug 2001 Let me know if we can move lunch on Wednesday to 12:30. I printed out pictures from our trip and made you some copies. I will bring William's Celeste Sun toy with me at lunch if that's okay with you. Charlie, Larissa and the kids are coming in for Christmas this year. Talk to you soon. Mom **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 21 Aug 2001 Mom, That would be fine. Thank you for printing the pictures for me, and William will be fine without Celeste until Wednesday. **** Letter received on September 8, 2001 William Mulder 107 E. Cordova St. Apt. 35 Washington, DC., 01833 8-14-01 Dear William, I can only hope this finds its way to you but even if it doesn't, it's something I had to get on paper. Walking away from you and your mother is the single most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. I did it for reasons that I tell myself are right and noble, so why do I feel like I've let you both down? All I want is for you to be safe and I tell myself that leaving and searching for answers is the best way to do that. But the truth is, William, that your old man isn't making much headway here. Your mother sends me pictures and videos of you and sometimes at night I can close my eyes and recall your new-earthling smell. But it's not the same. I know your mother and I know that every night she shows you my picture and tells you I'll be home soon. I don't want to make a liar of her and I promise you both I'm doing the best I can. Every day I fight the urge to let this all go and come home, but I feel I have more to accomplish before I return. One day I hope you will understand all of this. One day I hope I will. I have no real wisdom to offer you, but let me at least tell you this. I have made many mistakes in my life, but through them all, I have tried to do what I feel is honest. And I have learned - as you doubtlessly will - that the right thing is not often the easy thing. I don't know what this world is going to be like when you are older or what role you will have in it, but to thine own self be true, William. I hope to see you soon. And in case your mother forgets to tell you: Elvis > Three Dog Night Hips before hands The Knicks will always be better than the Miami Heat Love, Your father **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 12 Sep 2001 Scully, let me know you're okay. I know you don't work at the Pentagon, but please check in. On the move again, but will write as soon as possible. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 13 Sep 2001 Mulder, We are fine and no one we know was hurt. While it feels as though the world is falling apart, knowing you're okay gives me something to hang on to. There's a long line of people waiting for this computer so I must run, but I got your letter to William. Be careful. We miss you. **** Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, September 17, 2001 There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes this whole universe for a vast practical joke… Quantum suicide? **** Ad placed in the Washington Post Classified section, September 18, 2001 And downward to the secret things we went Biloxi MI - 6/ 86 Camden NJ - 11/91 **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 20 Sep 2001 Mulder, Thank you for your help on the case. Do you have any updates on your end? Not much to tell here. I'm enjoying teaching very much; the students are so engaged and interested. It's a nice change from the endless parade of world-weary cops and agents. Were we ever that fresh-faced and eager? Thinking of you and aching to see you. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 23 Sep 2001 It is no longer safe for me to contact you. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 24 Sep 2001 Mulder, What's going on? Please find a way to let me know what's happening. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 13 Oct 2001 Mulder, William and I baked a cake and we sang Happy Birthday to your picture. We went shopping for presents and William picked out an oven mitt. I tried to steer him towards the Yankees DVD collection, but he was adamant that you needed protective gear. I have begun to entertain theories of genetic memory. Please let us know you're all right. Many happy returns of the day. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 17 Oct 2001 Hey there partner. Wanted to thank you again for the CPR. They don't really cover that in entomology doctoral programs though, so I'm hard pressed to return the favor. I know you're a mother but I assume you still eat so let me know if you want to grab a bite next time I'm in DC. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 19 Oct 2001 Dr. Bronzino, Thank you very much for the offer, but it would not be appropriate at this time. Dana Scully **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 25 Oct 2001 Mulder, I know you can't tell me where you are and I am trying to respect what you're doing but this feels impossible sometimes. Not everything has to be a crusade, does it? You wanted to find your sister and while it wasn't the resolution you wanted, you found out the truth. Isn't that enough? We can have a life now. We have a son who needs both of his parents. Let this go, Mulder. **** E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 4 Nov 2001 Mulder, I don't even know why I'm writing this. I don't even know if you're alive. Attached are pictures of William in his Halloween costume. He went as a skunk and can sit up perfectly. **** Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, November 21, 2001 Lost: Norwegian Elkhound Answers to Heinrich Come home, Heinrich We miss you ****

December 3, 2001

Mulder,

I am so concerned for your safety right now that it is overwhelming. I am trying not to be angry with you - truly I am - but it isn't easy. I know what you've told me, I know we discussed all of this and I know we agreed it was for the best, but the reality is proving far different than the theory. As a scientist, I ought to have expected it and yet I was completely blindsided.

I asked you once years ago if we could just get out of the car and you looked at me like I was crazy and you kept driving. And I stayed. Hundreds of thousands of miles I've traveled with you, Mulder. Endless black ribbons of highways full of nightmares and lost souls and we went after them with badges and guns because we had a job to do.

But I'm asking you now - not as your partner, but as the mother of your child - to get out of the goddamned car. I can't live like this anymore, Mulder, and I will not subject William to it.

I love you but I cannot do this for the rest of my life.

I have nowhere to send this letter.

****

December 15, 2001

Mulder,

William said "Da" when he saw your picture today. I have a video.

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 20 Dec 2001

Hey Danes -

Our gang's catching an earlier flight from Puerto Vallarta and I wanted to see if you'd be free for dinner. I'm trusting you to pick a not-shitty restaurant because last time I left it up to Bill he said he knew of a "really good Italian place" and took us to the fucking Olive Garden and I swear to God Tara put some of those breadsticks in her purse.

Can't wait to meet my new nephew (you have a kid, Danes!) and see if either of my rugrats is taller than you yet. They're growing like weeds and Larissa's firm is keeping us in Mexico until the resort's finished, so they're all sun-kissed and blonde and I'm mostly a giant freckle.

Mom specifically told me not to ask about William's father, so I'm asking. This Fox guy…what's up with him? Is he good to you? Bill paints him as a kind of Anton LeVay meets Forrest Gump character, but Bill thinks condoms are Satan's party balloons, so what the hell does he know about relationships?

I'm bringing a case of fine champanya to ring in the new year.

Charlie

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 20 Dec 2001

Charlie,

I can't wait to see you all! It's been far too long since your jet-setting crew has ventured this way. Things with William's father are complicated, but it's due to factors beyond either of our control. I don't mean to be curt, but that's all I can say right now.

Dinner would be great. William still doesn't go to bed until fairly late and can be kept happy with a steady supply of food. He has an excellent pincer grasp.

Did Bill really take you to the Olive Garden? That's classic.

****

December 31, 2001

Mulder,

We celebrated Christmas at my mother's and Bill and Charlie and their families flew in. I have lots of pictures to show you of all of the kids together. William is babbling like a champion and I gave him a crayon to draw a picture for you on the back of this card, so turn it over. I remember New Year's Eve two years ago. Zombies, Mulder. And then you kissed me and here I am wishing maybe the world had ended after all because I'm remembering zombies with fondness and what the hell is wrong with my life and my God I miss you.

There was half a bottle of champagne left and now I'm drunk.

Happy New Year

Putting this card with your other unsent mail.

****

January 1, 2002 Dear William,

One day, you'll ask me to speak of a truth - of the miracle of your birth. To explain what is unexplained. And if I falter or fail on this day, know there is an answer, my child, a sacred imperishable truth, but one you may never hope to find alone. Chance meeting your perfect other, your perfect opposite, your protector and endangerer. Chance embarking with this other on the greatest of journeys; a search for truths fugitive and imponderable. If one day this chance may befall you, my son, do not fail or falter to seize it. The truths are out there. And if one day you should behold a miracle, as I have in you, you will learn the truth is not found in science, or on some unseen plane, but by looking into your own heart. And in that moment you will be blessed - and stricken. For the truest truths are what hold us together, or keep us painfully, desperately apart.

Know this, William, for it is the most important thing I can hope to teach you: It is not a weakness to love someone. There may come a time when it will be the only strength you have.

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 07 Jan 2002

Dearest Dana

I've resisted contacting you for reasons I know you continue to appreciate. But, to be honest, some unexpected dimensions of my new life are eating away at any resolve I have left. I'm lonely, Dana, uncertain of my ability to live like this. I want to come home. To you, and to William.

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 07 Jan 2002

I am physically shaking right now seeing your words - wishing it were you speaking them to me. I want so badly to see you too, but you are still not safe here. You don't sound like yourself, Mulder, and it's frightening me.

Where in the world have you been?

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 07 Jan 2002

I've seen things I cannot accept and don't know how to change. I feel like the fight has gone out of me and all I want is to come back and put this time behind us.

I will be home soon.

Details to follow in the usual manner.

****

Ad placed in the Washington Post Classified section, January 8, 2002

It was evening here But upon earth the very noon of night.

ncrl

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 10 Jan 2002

Mulder,

I hold no hope you can respond to this. Or that it reaches you. I only hope that you are alive.

I cannot help believing that you jumped off that train because you knew what I now know - that these "super-soldiers" - if that's what they are - can in fact be destroyed. That the key to their destruction lies in the iron compound at that quarry.

I am scared for you, Mulder. And for William. The forces against us are unrelenting. But so is my determination to see you again. To regain the comfort and safety we shared for so brief a time. Until then, I remain forever yours,

Dana

****

Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, January 14, 2002

The whale, like all things that are mighty, wears a false brow to the common world.

Fe3O4

****

Letter received on January 27, 2002

Dana Scully 107 E. Cordova St. Apt. 35 Washington, DC., 01833

1-16-02

Not much time to write Sorry so short saw your note Agreed on Fe3O3 though not sure how yet Love to you both

****

February 2, 2002

Mulder,

I got your last letter and nearly wept with relief to hear from you. I hope this can all end soon. I pray you stay safe until then.

Not sure what the weather is like where you are, but the most beautiful snow has fallen here. William and I have been playing in it at every opportunity and there's a respectable snowman in front of my building now. William likes to eat the snow and blinks when the flakes cling to his eyelashes. He looks more like you every day.

I send regards from Skinner and the Gunmen and my mother lights candles for you.

I wish I had an address to send this to.

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 11 Feb 2002

Mulder,

I am hesitant to contact you in this way because I know it is a risk, but I am beginning to fear the worst for William. I don't know what he is but someone does and they are trying to hurt him. I have been working with Reyes and we suspect it all goes back to that artifact I found in Africa, though I can't say I truly understand it. My mother says our son is a miracle and that I must simply accept him as that. But how can I do that, Mulder? After what happened to Emily, how can I not want to know how he came to be whatever he is?

William has been taken from me twice now and I am starting to despair of ever being able to protect him. All the sacrifices we're making right now - what if it comes to nothing? I don't know what to do.

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 11 Feb 2002

Sorry, we were unable to deliver your message to the following address.

< [email protected] >

****

Ad placed in the Washington Post Classified section, February 23, 2002

O lady, you in whom my hope gains strength, you who, for my salvation, have allowed your footsteps to be left in Hell, in all the things that I have seen, I recognize the grace and benefit that I, depending upon your power and goodness, have received. You drew me out from slavery to freedom by all those paths, by all those means that were within your power. Do, in me, preserve your generosity, so that my soul, which you have healed, when it is set loose from my body, be a soul that you will welcome.

****

Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, February 24, 2002

Let faith oust fact; let fancy oust memory; I look deep down and do believe.

****

Ad placed in the New York Times Classified section, March 20, 2002

All men live enveloped in whale-lines. All are born with halters round their necks; but it is only when caught in the swift, sudden turn of death, that mortals realize the silent, subtle, ever-present perils of life.

Gunmen dead.

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 26 Mar 2002

John,

My thoughts are with you and Barbara at this time. Take care.

Dana Scully

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 26 Mar 2002

Thanks Dana. It's been hard but the closure has come as a relief after all this time. I hope you are coming to terms with your own loss as well. They were the good guys.

John Doggett

****

April 20, 2002

Mulder,

I have come to an act of desperation. I have had no way of contacting you - no way to talk this over with you - and so I had to make this choice alone. I have had assurances that our information is to be expunged from every record and I tell myself moment by moment that this is his only chance at a normal life, but what if I have made a mistake that can never be undone?

I vacillate between thinking I have sacrificed my own happiness for his and thinking I have sacrificed him because I am not strong enough to accept what he is. What if that's the case? What if I was just too afraid to see him suffer? Watching Emily die slowly through the glass left me so cold I thought I'd freeze everything I touched, but I didn't know how to grieve for her. They had no right to take those ova from me, no right to create her, and no right to destroy her. She was supposed to be mine and whatever other children were created should have been mine also. But by the time I came to terms with the fact that I was truly her mother, she was already gone. What if the same fate was in store for William? I don't know that I could have stood it.

All I wanted was a child - your child, as the years went on - and I just cannot understand why anyone would create these lives for the express purpose of later destroying them. I don't think we can ever fully know what William means to the Project, but they wanted him dead, Mulder. They wanted to take our son and kill him and would have in time and came close even as I watched over him, and all this before he turned a year old. Jeffrey Spender came to me - terrible things have been done to him - and said that no matter what he did to undo the changes to his little body, William would never have any peace from the men who have been working towards the ends you and I have been fighting.

I believed him, Mulder. I looked into his ruined face and I believe he was telling me the truth and I believe it still. I did the only thing I could think of to protect our son and I can only hope now that you can forgive me.

I don't know what else to do but keep going. It's all I've ever known how to do.

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 22 Apr 2002

Dana, what in the hell have you done? Pick up your goddamned phone.

I just got off the phone with mom a little while ago and she's half-hysterical and I'm not far from it myself. What were you thinking? You put your son up for adoption, Dana? That really struck you as the best possible solution? That's what you have a family for. To help you. And no matter how bad things were you should have come to us. I don't know what has happened to you over the years and I don't think I even know who you are anymore, because my sister would never have done something so insane.

We could have taken him in for you if you couldn't deal with being a single mother. God knows where Fox is and why you put up with the crap he dishes out is beyond me, but he has molded you into a woman I don't recognize and I think there is something severely wrong with both of you.

I have faith that you are not beyond salvation, Dana, but you need to cut your ties with him. Come out to San Diego and stay with us. I have already contacted an attorney about having the adoption reversed and because of the extreme emotional duress you've been under he thinks there's a very good shot that Tara and I can get temporary custody while you get your life back together.

It's not too late for you. We love you and want to help, but you have to let us. I am praying for you.

Your brother,

Bill

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 22 Apr 2002

Hey Squirt. Just got an earful from Bill. Mom's too freaked out to be coherent.

I don't know what the fuck is up with you the past few years Danes, but the shit seems to have royally hit the fan of your life. Despite what Bill thinks, you were always the smartest one of us and if this is what you thought was right, well, I guess I have to trust that. I'm just so sorry that you're dealing with this.

We're moving to Marrakech in June for a restaurant Larissa's designing and we have this awesome house with plenty of room for decompressing Feds. Take some leave and come stay for a while.

Worried about you, big sister.

Charlie

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 24 Apr 2002

Dana, I am so worried about you and I think you might need some professional help. Please return my calls. We need to talk.

I love you.

Mom

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 25 Apr 2002

Dana

Please call if you ever need to talk. I am here for you.

Monica

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 25 Apr 2002

Monica,

Thank you for your concern. I'm going to be fine. I will be back to work on Monday.

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 25 Apr 2002

I hope this finds you well. Just wanted to see how you were doing.

John Doggett

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 25 Apr 2002

John,

Thank you for your concern. I'm going to be fine. I will be back to work on Monday.

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 9 May 2002

Dr. Scully,

My name is John Reits and I am a parapsychologist. I'd like to meet with you concerning a former patient of mine. Please contact me at this address or give me a call at 714-555-0146.

****

E-Mail From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Date: 19 May 2002

Scully -

Do you ever answer your phone anymore? I need to see you in my office at once. Drop what you are doing and get over here now.

It's about Mulder.

****

The End

****

Notes:

Addendum:

R2NCl + H2O = Bellefleur + Braddock Heights? So claims a woman with node at C5

The Warrior Princess Super-Soldier chick had a node on the back of her neck (around the C5 vertebra) and had informed Scully that chloramine was being introduced into the water supply to transform the populace into super-soldiers. Scully was reminded of the water tampering in Braddock Heights (Wetwired).

****

Fe3O4 + R2NCl = ?

Mulder has discovered evidence of a connection between chloramine and magnetite, but isn't sure what it is.

****

Quantum suicide?

Scully's hoping to get some help on the case from 4D. Quantum suicide - as it pertains to the many-worlds interpretation and the case - encompasses the idea that all moments (however unlikely) with possibilities of occurrence greater than zero are experienced in some dimension.

Mulder's reply is just directing her to some related case files. Which I made up.

****

It was evening here But upon earth the very noon of night.

ncrl

Mulder's train will arrive at the New Carrollton train station at midnight

#my fic #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #season 9 #epistolary

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sebaschian · 4 years ago

Text

Automatically a Mama (Grelle Sutcliff) Chapter 1

Summary: While doing soul collection, Grelle gets faced with a situation. To take or not take in an orphaned human infant. Can she handle the responsibility of child care?

A/N: Female pronouns. Not your thing? Ignore this and don’t cause drama.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Kuroshitsuji series. I only own this fanfiction and the OC’s in here.

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Not much activity was happening in the human realm, but Grelle Sutcliff was tasked with the recollection of souls and records, not that she personally liked doing work but she was threatened with many more work if she slacked off or do what she wanted to do instead of work.

“Murder of a couple, South London... well this could be an interesting DEATH~!” She made her signature pose and head into the house. She inspected the scene, the couple had died holding one another close. The wife was on top of the husband, it seemed like their jewelry was stolen.

“Markus Rick and Marilyn Rosanne Harrington. Markus born February 8 1846 and Marilyn born August 19 1843, cause of death shot in the chest multiple of times, both of them owned a bakery and were very famous with their fruit crepes. Oh well, what a shame, they had to die this way.” Grelle saw through their cinematic records and put the COMPLETE stamp on their picture in the book.

“Well, I’m done for today, I gotta head off-” Grelle was about to turn and leave the place when, a tiny giggle stopped her in her tracks. “Huh?” she looked down and saw a small baby, being covered in blankets, looking as if their parents were trying so hard to hide them from the thieves that took their life.

“A baby...” Grelle felt for the little creature sure, but she had other things to do to pay attention to the tiny human who was playing with the blankets and looking at her. “I’m so sorry you have to be alone now, your mummy and dada are... gone little one. But I’m sure when the authorities come they will take you to an orphanage where they’ll care for you. Adieu, mon petit!” she then turned back to leave when the baby put a sad face behind her back and then started to cry.

Grelle felt a heartsqueeze just hearing those cries. They sounded so desperate, so scared, begging to not be left alone. Sometime inside Grelle was changing, could she really take in that mortal? No, she had to. She couldn’t really leave them like that. “Hey, hey, shhhh. It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m not leaving.” She then turned back to the child and carefully picked them up in arms. The baby giggled automatically, since they were picked up as they wanted to.

The baby didn’t look like they were were a newborn, they appeared to be around a year old or at least ten months old, had dark black hair and green eyes, almost like a reaper but they were human.

“Oh, what did I get myself into, little one. Here with you, what am I supposed to do with you, hmm?” She wondered as she held the baby close to her.

“Ma...”

“Hm?”

“Maaaa!”

“What do you mean, little one?”

“Mama!”

Grelle’s whole world stopped right there when that word escaped the young one’s lips. Mama. Why did that simple word made her heart skip a bit and why did her eyes were becoming watery.

“W-what did you just say, tiny one? Can you repeat it?” She put the small baby to her face, looking at them hopefully it was what she thought they say.

“Mama, Mama, Mama!” The little one cupped her face and giggled, repeating it more times. Grelle’s shocked face slowly turned into a soft smiled, she was also shedding tears. Very joyful tears. She had always wanted to have a child of her own, that was her true life wish, for this one to quickly accept her as their mother with only seconds of meeting.

“Why yes, YES! I am your Mama!” Grelle squealed, letting the joyful tears flow more as she cuddled the precious bundle of joy that she had in her arms. Happy sobs all the way. She had found her opportunity to be the mother that she had wanted to be, there was no doubt. This baby was hers now.

“Do you have a name, mon petit?” Now she focused on the baby’s gender. How did humans check a child’s gender again? Ah, she remembered it now. She folded the blanket a bit and determined it now. “So a baby boy?” There was nothing in there that told the baby’s name, so Grelle decided to come up with a name.

“Wiru Gary Sutcliff. Sounds about right!” Giving the baby that name, she put him back in her arms and grabbed the blanket wrapping him comfortably in it. “Come, I gotta go back to my own realm, please keep quiet, dear one. I don’t want to get into trouble for taking a human where they’re not supposed to go.” she said softly, took her death-scythe and hopped out the window, with the baby and off she was to the reaper realm.

Could she really, really be able to care for a human child, despite never being in contact with one before? Grelle was simply the type of person to do things without thinking before doing them, of course she would take a baby human and claimed that it was her baby.

(Grim Reaper Dispatch, Reaper Realm)

“There we go, Wiru. Nice and quiet, don’t make a single peep. Mama’s gonna be in trouble if you make a sound.” Grelle whispered, putting the baby inside the closet behind her desk on blankets and rubbed the child’s cheek. “Be a good baby and nap for a bit okay? Okay.” she looked from side to side and closed the doors and quickly went to sit on the chair inside her own office.

“Grelle Sutcliff, did you complete the task?” that was William the superior coming inside, keeping his expressionless nature and pushing his glasses up to keep them from falling.

“Aww, Will, darling! Of course I did!” Grelle as usually responded to him like that, her eyes being hearts as they usually turned when seeing the guys that she found attractive.

William sighed, ignoring the darling comment, he’d gotten used to it by now. “Reports.”

“Murder of a married couple. Their baby was orphaned.” Grelle started, of course behind her mind was, the baby’s not orphaned now for she just took him in.

William nodded pleased, for once Grelle did something formal instead of doing things the way she wanted. “Well done, Sutcliff. I must tell I am impressed by your performance today, you didn’t screw anything up. So congrats on that, keep it up.” he was impressed by it, which was barely true, since Grelle tended to get a little driven by her emotions in work and that caused her to make messes in the process.

“Ahh baba da dee...” Little Wiru suddenly let out those meaningless babbles for a baby who didn’t know any better.

William furrowed his brows. “What was that?” he looked around.

Grelle panicked and then came up with something. “My stomach! I am hungry! It was so early in the morning, they just contacted me and I couldn’t get any mouthful inside!”

A stomach talking? Ah whatever, William wasn’t even going to question it, he had many other things to do than to pay attention to that. “Well, have you eaten your daily portion of carrots on the way to work?”

Grelle made a face. “Will, dear, you know that I can’t stand carrots, they’re disgusting!”

“Grelle Sutcliff that is not up for discussion, you will eat them everyday.” William said with irritation, it always the same with this reaper, she never wanted to eat what already was a requirement. He pulled out a plate with six carrots and put in front of Grelle. “Eat. I want to see you.”

“B-but-!” Before Grelle could protest, William picked a carrot with a fork and stuck it inside her mouth.

“Eat.” He wasn’t going to relent until he saw her eating them.

“Mph!” Grelle sputtered and shook her head, why did William always have to do this to her! But she having no choice, so all be it reluctantly she started chewing on it, making disgusted faces. Luckily for her, William got distracted by something some other reapers were saying out there and Grelle spit the carrot out to her bin and did the same with the other carrots, taking off the leaves of one and putting it inside her mouth.

“Well, now- Did you eat them all already?” William stared at the redhead, but he could see crumbs of carrots on her cheeks so he believed it. “Well, now it’s over. I’m off, continue writing those reports down.” He whirled and exited Grelle’s office, closing the door behind him.

“Yuck, disgusting carrots.” Grelle then walked over to the closet and retrieved the baby. “That was very close, Wiru. Please don’t do that when Will is here, it could give Mama a very serious trouble, my sweetie.” She couldn’t really yell at a baby, she knew that it made them cry and if she had the baby crying it all would get seriousness thrown at her, so she sat down, cradling Wiru in arms.

Wiru looked like he was about to cry, because he was whimpering. And Grelle really had a worried face.

“Don’t cry my little one, Mama’s here, Mama’s here.” She started to gently rocked the baby in her arms, making shushing sounds. Everything she knew about babies was from the scratch as she had never been with one before, she was improvising all her actions. “Shhh, shhh.”

The baby was hungry, he hadn’t eaten anything from when his parents were murdered. Grelle couldn’t tell, but she figured it was hunger.

“Hungry? What do you human babies even eat?” She knew if they didn’t have their teeth yet, they couldn’t eat solids, it all had to be mushed and given to them. “Milk? I just have one milk box here.” Grelle pulled it out. But she didn’t have what was needed to feed babies. A baby bottle. She had to improvise, make something similar to it. So she pour it inside a normal glass and put a straw in it, gently getting the straw inside the little baby’s mouth, hoping he knew how to suck because then she’d have trouble feeding this little one.

Gladly, Wiru began sucking the milk and then drinking it, so Grelle was aleviated from this. She sighed in relief. Well maybe, raising a human baby in secret wouldn’t be much trouble.

#fanfiction #writng #mother grelle headcanon #black butler #kuroshitsuji #Grelle Sutcliff #oc #chapter one

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ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes · 4 years ago

Text

Promises Not Kept Part 22

Summary: Tommy Shelby made a promise to Jonah Ward while in the war. A promise he didn't keep. But it comes to haunt him when he tries to drown out his sorrows with a young woman.

Part 22: The truth comes out and Leah hopes it can help Tommy realize he needs to slow down.

“Mumma?”

“Yes, my love?”

Charlie looked up from the anthill he had been examining. The little boy was laying in the grass on his stomach, peering down at the mound of dirt that had been built up by the insects. Curiously watching the line of ants traveling through the grass with bits of food, their methodical marching captivating his attention for a good while.

Leah was lounging on a blanket a few feet away. She’d kicked off her shoes and stockings so she could feel the grass tickling her toes. Keeping Charlie in her peripheral vision, she basked in the warm August sun and read.

“Why were you and Auntie Pol talking ‘bout babies?” Charlie asked casually.

Leah jerked in surprise. She thought the little boy had been playing quietly in the room next door when she was talking to Polly. She thought he was well out of earshot, but apparently that wasn’t the case. “We uh…”

“Auntie said you got a baby in your tummy.” Charlie pushed himself up and wandered over to the blanket to sit beside her.

Leah cleared her throat and placed her book to the side. She had a sinking feeling that he wasn’t going to let her brush the conversation under the rug. “Well, poppet, I uh…” How on Earth could she explain pregnancy and childbirth to him when she hadn’t even told Tommy yet? Not to mention she wasn’t about to have that discussion with Charlie at such a young age. And yet, it was only a matter of time until she began to show. She already saw the baby bump, although others who were blissfully unaware, like Tommy, wouldn’t look twice.

Gratefully, Leah saw Tommy walking across the lawn with the newspaper tucked under his arm. “Oh, look!” She redirected Charlie’s attention to his father. “Daddy’s come out to join us. Why don’t you go show him the anthill?”

Charlie liked the idea and shot up like a rocket, dashing towards Tommy. The man smiled and scooped his son up. They had slowly begun to creep back towards normalcy after Tommy’s breakdown. He and Leah made a compromise that seemed to be doing well. He would leave the majority of the business up to Arthur. And in return, Leah would support his run for election. When he brought up the possibility of being a member of parliament, she thought he was kidding and laughed. Of course, she didn’t doubt his ability, he spoke like a politician when he needed to and he was more than clever enough. But this revelation came mere days after she found him on the floor in such a state of woe. So to hear that he was planning to embark on this big campaign was unbelievable to her. But he was dead serious and quickly showed her.

Before long, he was setting up a plan of action. A way to get enough votes to secure the seat. That included the women’s vote. Leah wanted him to slow down. To take time to breathe after all they’d been through with Changretta. But she couldn’t deny that he was in better spirits. He didn’t seem so on edge or like he was forcing himself to be happy. She only wished that there would be a day when he could be satisfied with what he had.

“‘N the ants get food and carry it up to the hill ‘cause that’s where they all live!” Charlie was chattering away as Tommy carried him back over to Leah.

She smiled hesitantly and hoped Charlie had forgotten about his prior question.

“Show me then.” Tommy set his son down, kneeling to observe the anthill. “They’re busy, aye? Always moving?”

“Yeah!” Charlie beamed and plopped back down on the grass. “Daddy, guess what?”

“What?”

“Auntie Pol said mumma’s got a baby in her tummy.” He blurted out before Leah could try to stop him. “Isn’t that silly?”

Tommy’s head snapped up in utter shock. His blue eyes finding Leah. Completely frozen, he barely heard Charlie continue to ramble on about how babies didn’t live in tummies and that Frances had said they were delivered by storks.

Leah sheepishly met his bewildered stare. For a moment, she couldn’t read his expression. He obviously looked stunned but she couldn’t tell if it was in a happy or angry way. Then his eyebrow raised, asking her a question without speaking. He wanted to know whether it was true or not. Slowly, Leah nodded and let a hand slip to her abdomen.

A second wave of shock knocked Tommy right in the gut. He shakily got to his feet and walked over to her. She stood to meet him and opened her mouth to explain. To apologize for not telling him earlier.

But he didn’t give her the chance. Instead, he enveloped her in his arms, hugging her tightly. Leah let out a quivering laugh and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Tears came to her eyes, tears of relief. He wasn’t upset. He was happy. They could be happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~

They didn’t talk about it until Charlie was asleep in bed. Tommy figured it would be better to discuss the best plan of action for telling his son. The little boy still thought it was a riot that Polly thought babies lived in people’s stomach.

“That’s where food goes, daddy, it’s so silly!”

Tommy agreed that it was silly just so Charlie wouldn’t ask any more questions and further complicate the matter.

“Did Polly tell you the gender?” Tommy asked quietly.

They were sat in bed after Charlie had finally fallen asleep. Intertwined with each other as they spoke softly in the dimly lit room. Leah draped her legs over Tommy’s lap, her husband holding her close.

She pressed her forehead to his cheek and smiled. “A girl. Won’t that be perfect? Charlie’ll be the best older brother.”

Tommy smiled in disbelief. “A girl…” He whispered. “I can hardly believe it.”

“I was so shocked but I’m happy.” Leah touched his cheek and lifted her head so she could meet his eyes. “Are you happy?”

“Of course.” He replied genuinely. “It’s what we’ve wanted.”

“I know, I just...I was worried that you’d be…” She sighed and chewed on her lip. “I wasn’t sure if it was the right time or not.”

“Wouldn’t be a better time.” He responded and lightly grazed his fingertips up and down her thigh. “I said we’d have a family after everything was settled in Small Heath. It’s been settled so now we can have a family.” He made it sound so simple but Leah knew it was far more complicated. Especially once he announced his bid for a seat in parliament.

But at least he was happy.

“Think she’ll look like you? Blonde hair?” Tommy mused with a faint smile. He wound one of her honey-colored curls around his finger.

Leah shook her head. “I want her to look like you. Blue eyes and dark hair. She’ll be beautiful.”

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, aye?” Tommy lifted his wife up and laid her down on the bed. Slowly, and with care, he hovered over her. He pressed his hands into the bed as he lowered himself to place kisses down her body. Pausing at her abdomen, he took in the slight bump that he could now see. The little swell of her stomach and the way it looked swathed in the cream-colored silk of her nightgown. Tommy was overwhelmed with a sense of joy and pride. A daughter. His beautiful wife was going to gift him a daughter.

Smiling, Tommy kissed her stomach. Things were going to be perfect from then on. He just knew it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Charlie was thoroughly confused. One minute his nanny was telling him storks deliver babies and now his parents were saying otherwise. He was sitting in the big room by the fire. His feet just barely dangling off the deep armchair that Tommy had sat him down in. Leah was perched on the arm of the chair, her hand affectionately smoothing back his blond hair. Tommy was kneeling in front of Charlie, a hand placed on his son’s knee.

“M’I in trouble?” Charlie sunk into himself, looking a little sheepish. Maybe his father had found out he was the one that knocked over the vase in the foyer because he was roughhousing with Cyril. He’d blamed it on a ghost but wasn’t sure it had really worked or not.

“No, poppet,” Leah assured him. “Daddy and I just have some news to talk to you about.”

Tommy smiled. “Charles, what would you say about being a big brother in a few months?” He asked.

Charlie’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Big brother?”

“You’d have a little baby brother or sister. Like your cousin Billy. He’s a baby, right?” Leah murmured.

“Oh. Okay.” The little boy suddenly perked up. “So the stork’s r’gonna bring me a baby!” He appeared overjoyed at the idea of getting a present when it wasn’t even Christmas or his birthday yet. “When?”

“Well, it’s going to take some time. Mum’s got to deliver the baby.” Tommy tried skirting around the uncomfortable conversation of where children came from. But he was also afraid that Charlie would freak out once Leah began to show.

“Mum delivers the baby...but she’s not a stork.” Charlie looked even more confused.

“The baby’s going to live in my stomach until they’re grown enough to be born.” Leah hoped that would be enough of an explanation but of course, it wasn’t.

The thought made Charlie’s eyes widen in horror. “Mum ate a baby!?” He yelled.

Tommy did his best not to burst out laughing. He put a hand over his mouth to stifle the reaction and let Leah take over for a bit.

“No, poppet, that’s where babies come from. They don’t come from storks.” She winced. It would be one of the first blows to Charlie’s childhood imagination. Hopefully, it would be some time until they had to break the news that Tommy was Santa Claus.

The boy pouted and crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. “Frances said they did.”

“Frances was just telling stories, Charlie.” Tommy regained his composure.

“Oh.” Charlie was still perplexed. “So the baby is in mumma’s belly.”

“That’s right, and soon you’ll be able to feel the baby kick,” Leah explained. “Won’t that be exciting.”

The boy squirmed in his seat. That did not sound exciting, in fact, it sounded mildly terrifying to him. “I guess…”

“When the baby’s born you’ll be able to show them the horses.” Tommy tried to get his son excited for the new arrival. It wouldn’t do anyone good if he suddenly got possessive and jealous. “You’ll be able to teach them so many things.”

Charlie seemed a little pleased at the notion that he would be older. He was getting to be the age where he resented being called a baby. And although he loved affection, he sometimes got a little huffy if Leah babied him too much. “Okay.” He straightened up a little. “So when will the baby come?” He wondered.

“In about seven months,” Leah answered. “We can mark it on daddy’s calendar.”

“That’s such a long time!” Charlie complained.

“Trust me it’ll go by fast.” Tommy sighed and stood up. He remembered how fast Grace’s pregnancy went. One moment he learned she was expecting, the next he was being brought into the room to meet his firstborn. And Charlie sprouted like a weed. Sometimes the man was utterly shocked to see how tall his son had gotten. It seemed like only yesterday he was holding a little bundle. He hoped that time would slow down so he could enjoy his family.

~~~~~~~~~~~

But before he knew it, Leah was as big as could be. The date Charlie marked on his calendar was coming extremely close. Tommy put a pause to his campaign for a little bit just so he would be around if his wife unexpectedly went into early labor.

Polly said that most likely wouldn’t be the case. She was as healthy as can be, glowing just like Grace did. Tommy’s aunt assured him that the baby would be born when the first flowers of spring were just starting to open up. And it appeared she was going to be right, as always.

It was early morning in mid-April when Tommy went downstairs to have a smoke. The pregnancy had made Leah sensitive to the smell of cigarettes, making her nauseous almost immediately. So Tommy had to make sure he was on another floor to avoid making her sick. He wasn’t strong enough to quit quite yet.

He exhaled a breath of smoke and wandered over to the windows in his office. The rose bushes that lined the house had begun to crawl up to the window sill. The thorny buds were just starting to show hints of scarlet red colored petals. Tommy guessed they were only a week or two away from unfurling. So if Polly’s predictions were right, Leah was due any day.

Finishing up the cigarette, Tommy found the packet of gum he’d started to keep in his desk. The mint chicle washing away the taste of nicotine so Leah wouldn’t be able to taste it if she kissed him. It was never a good sign when your pregnant wife pulled away from a kiss and looked sick to her stomach. So Tommy picked up the habit of brushing his teeth or chewing gum to avoid that reaction again.

He went back upstairs to return to bed and found Charlie had taken his place. The Blinder chuckled under his breath and scooped his son up. “What’re you doing?”

“Wanted to feel baby kick.” Charlie latched onto Tommy, his brown eyes sleepy.

Tommy laid down, letting the boy sprawl out on his chest like he used to when he was just a baby. “Mumma’s asleep.”

“I know but baby didn’t kick last night!” Charlie complained. He was absolutely chuffed when he first felt a kick against Leah’s stomach weeks earlier. He thought it would be weird, but the experience left him smiling and waiting patiently for another kick. He spent his nights curled up with Leah as she told him a story before bed. He would quietly whisper things to her stomach, but it was too soft to understand exactly what he was saying. Still, Charlie was convinced that the baby understood him.

“Well, she was probably asleep,” Tommy replied.

“Who was asleep?” Leah yawned and turned over. Her eyes were still closed but she was clearly awake.

Tommy always got a sense of pride when he saw her bump. To say he was overly affectionate was an understatement. He took every opportunity to show his wife how pleased he was. She was enduring the pregnancy all while rarely complaining. In fact, sometimes it was hard to tell who was more excited about the baby. More often than not, Tommy and Leah would talk quietly before they went to sleep. Discussing names for their daughter, what day they thought she would be born, what features she would get from which parent, or what her first word might be. It always left them smiling as they fell asleep, dreaming about their daughter.

“The baby,” Charlie answered. “‘Cause she didn’t kick last night.”

“Oh, right.” Leah yawned again and opened her eyes, blinking a few times. She smiled when she saw her husband and son curled up together. Soon three would become four. Five if they were counting Cyril who had decided to start sleeping at the end of their bed.

Charlie mimicked her yawn and closed his eyes. “Still sleepy.” He mumbled.

“Then sleep, poppet.” Leah moved closer to Tommy and smoothed Charlie’s hair back. “Sleep a bit longer.”

She didn’t need to say it twice, the boy was fast asleep within another five minutes.

Tommy gently rubbed his son’s back as he slept. “You sleep well?” He asked.

Leah hummed and nodded. “I had a dream.” She told him.

“Yeah? What about?”

“Your brother. John.”

Tommy chewed on the inside of his cheek. Sadness always seeped through him whenever he thought about his fallen brother. It was hard not to miss him. “Did he say anything?”

Leah shook her head and reached for Tommy’s hand. “No.” She squeezed it comfortingly. “He simply smiled. And I was thinking, maybe we name the baby after him.”

“Pol thinks we’re having a daughter.” He reminded her. They always spoke about their baby as a girl. Polly had such a reputation that they only assumed she was right.

“I know, so I was thinking about names. How does Johanna sound? Johanna Elizabeth Shelby?”

Tommy chuckled. “My aunt convinced you to name our daughter after her?” He raised an eyebrow.

Leah smiled and shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I?”

There was no arguing that. “Johanna Shelby.” He tested out the name and nodded. “I like it.”

“You do? We could call her Jo for short. Maybe Joey?” She giggled softly. “Wouldn’t that be just adorable?”

He chuckled and wrapped an arm around his wife. “Whatever you say, love.” He murmured and kissed her hair. The roses would be blooming soon. “But maybe we give her another name? Johanna Elizabeth Rose?” He offered.

“Rose?” Leah looked up at him. “Why does that name come to mind?”

“Because Polly said she’ll be here when they bloom. And I’m hoping this brings a new chapter to our lives. A new spring. Get rid of all the hurt we felt through the winter of last year.”

Leah smiled and nuzzled her cheek against his shoulder. “Thomas Shelby, you could be a poet.” She cooed.

“A politician needs to speak well. I think I’ll stick with that.” He shared a smile with her and drew her close for a kiss.

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @giftofdreams @biba3434 @kimmietea @karmezii @enrapturedbythemoon @vampgirl1997 @tarafaithe

Tag list: @shelbyblinded

Masterpost

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#tommy shelby #tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelbyxoc #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky fookin blinders #peaky blinders fanfiction #fanfiction #ofc #oc #charles shelby #cillian murphy #cillian murphy character #cillian murphy fanfiction #season 4 #season 5 #polly gray #john shelby

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rumpledgoldenweaver · 4 years ago

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The Drink Talking

Written for the August @a-monthly-rumbelling moodboard.

You can read it on my blog here: https://earlyrisingwriting.home.blog/2020/08/26/the-drink-talking/

Following on from A Knight In Double Denim. They have been seeing each other a couple of months when Lacey gets a part time job at Roni’s and Weaver is assigned to Victoria Belfry as her personal security officer. What could possibly go wrong?

It wasn’t that Lacey particularly disliked Ivy Belfry, she didn’t know her well enough to judge one way or the other, however when she came into the bar it would only be a matter of time before her tales of woe had Lacey rolling her eyes so hard she could see the back of her own head. The girl had everything and the wardrobe to go with it, but still she spent her evenings in Roni’s bar whining about how unfair her life was.

This particular evening a steady stream of customers including her own father Moe, who was “just checking in on my girl” kept Lacey away from Ivy for a good couple of hours which was fine with her.

As the room cleared Lacey was left with no choice but to serve Ivy, although when Roni came back from her break she might discreetly ask her to suggest that Ivy let them order a taxi for her, she’d drunk far more than usual. Lacey idly wondered what dire misfortune had befallen the other woman this time. She didn’t have to wonder for very long, drink had loosened Ivy’s tongue and increased the volume of her plummy tone

“And” Ivy waved her glass for emphasis “if that wasn’t bad enough, my mother has a better sex life than I do!”

First eye roll of the night thought Lacey I wonder which poor sod Belfry has her talons in.

“I only bloody caught her at it” Ivy continued to anyone who might be listening “banging the old bill!”

Lacey’s ears picked up at that.

“Her and that detective she’s been given, all over each other like a rash. Can’t blame her I suppose he is hot even if he’s old. I mean I’d take my heels off and climb that tree but seeing my own MOTHER. UGH. Don’t suppose you serve brain bleach do you?”

“I think you’ve had enough Ivy, bleach or otherwise” Roni had returned and just in time because Lacey was rooted to the spot “Let me call you a cab”

“Nah I’ll walk” Ivy finished her drink, swayed very precariously and tottered towards the exit.

Lacey spent the rest of the evening in a daze, in the end Roni sent her home early, but not before telling her to take no notice of anything Ivy Belfry spouted when she’d had a drink. Roni had known Weaver a long time, if he and Lacey were together he would not be sniffing round the older Belfry woman and certainly never whilst on duty. Everything would be fine, Ivy had got it wrong.

Curled up in her chair with Begbie the cat, sipping a cup of tea Lacey began to feel better, her phone rested on the arm, maybe she should call him. As if reading her mind Begbie nudged the device with his paw and meowed. Lacey laughed “Well if you say I should then I will”

He answered on the fifth ring.

“Weaver”

“Hi Chris”

“Hey”

“Begbie and I were wondering if you’d like to come round and share a pot of tea with us? Or something stronger if you prefer”

There was a pause “Er sorry something’s come up. I’m still working”

Before she could reply Lacey heard Victoria Belfry in the background “Chris darling do hurry up I need you”

Lacey ended the call and threw the phone across the room.

Weaver knew he was in trouble, it was always the same, he’d meet a woman, they’d date, his work would start getting in the way, the relationship would grind to a halt, rinse and repeat. Not this time though. He’d taken the night off, armed himself with the most expensive roses that French Flowers had to offer, now he was heading over to see Lacey in order to put things right.

The conversation with her Dad had been interesting once Moe had realised who Weaver was.

“What did you do?” it was a statement more than a question, Moe pulling himself up to his full height.

“I’m not entirely sure” Weaver confessed “there’s a lot on at work and..”

Moe nodded in understanding “You’ll want these then” he indicated at a container “and I’ll knock ten percent off since they’re for Lacey. But if you upset her again I’ll charge you double”

Twenty minutes later he found himself on the wrong side of a slammed door, roses still in his hands and a mouthful of accusations ringing in his ears. Where the hell had that lot come from? Throwing the roses down onto the doorstep he stalked off in search of a drink. Many drinks.

“Begbie if you want out use the bloody cat flap, I am not opening the bloody door for you” but the cat persisted, running to and from the front door, meowing, scratching and generally being a pain in the backside.

“Okay. Fine” Lacey snapped and flung the door open. There on the doorstep lay Weaver’s apology roses. She bent down to pick them up and brought them inside. Her father would never forgive her if she didn’t at least put them in water, these were expensive and he didn’t keep many in stock. A thorn pricked her finger “Bugger!” and hot, unreasonable tears started to flow.

Begbie wound himself round her legs in a attempt to offer comfort but to no avail. He sat down and licked his paw thoughtfully. Why were his humans making life so difficult? The man human had bought flowers and Lacey had yelled so loud at him, Begbie had hidden under the chair until it was safe to come out. Now she was crying. Begbie finished his cleaning regime, stretched, decided there was only one thing for it, he’d have to sort it out himself. He knew where the man human went to, the lady human who lived there always gave him titbits and a scratch behind the ears. Without further ado Begbie bolted straight out of the still open front door and off up the street.

“BEGBIE!!! You little.. BEGBIE! Come back!!”

Roni was not in the slightest bit surprised when the grey tabby cat jumped up onto the bar and meowed at her.

“You are getting cheeky young man” she admonished picking him up for a cuddle “No cats allowed in here, you go to the back door if you want treats”

Begbie wriggled free having spotted his quarry nursing a drink at one of the tables. He scampered across and leapt straight into Weaver’s lap “Bloody hell Begbie!” the cat swatted him with his paw.

“Yes I know I’m in trouble, you don’t need to start”

Ivy Belfry sat at the far end of the bar watching the scene with open amusement, she was about to shout over a very crude remark about Weaver and the standard of felines he attracted when her attention was caught by raised voices just on the edge of her hearing. The voices then barged into the bar. They belonged to that French girl and oh god her mother. Ivy glanced at Weaver who had turned a delicate shade of green.

“My private life is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS MS FRENCH” Victoria snarled

“THEN TELL THAT TO YOUR DAUGHTER MS BELFRY. SHE’S THE ONE WHO ANNOUNCED YOU WERE BANGING THE OLD BILL TO THE ENTIRE BAR”

Deafening silence descended into the room. No one moved, no one breathed. Roni sent up a prayer to the Licensing Gods that she be able to keep the bar after this. Ivy did her best to sink down into her chair, offering her own prayers that her mother wouldn’t spot her.

The click of Victoria’s heels resounded through the silence till she stopped right in front of her daughter.

“Ivy. Is this true?”

“It is” said Roni brightly “she also said, and I quote she would take off her heels and climb that tree herself”

Weaver choked. Ivy blanched “I erm really don’t remember Mother…”

“I was not, am not and will never likely to be banging the old bill as you so delicately put it Ivy. Neither will I be climbing him like a tree” Victoria was the picture of poise and decorum “Detective Weaver has been teaching me self defence in addition to his duties as my security officer”

“Oh..”

“Yes oh. Next time you decide to tell the world my business make sure you get the story straight”

“Yes mother”

“Now go and wait in the car” without another word and as much dignity as she could muster, Ivy left.

Victoria turned her attention to Lacey “Ms French it seems I owe you an apology. My daughter’s mouth has a habit of running away from her”

“Yeah.. no worries” Lacey felt slightly foolish.

“Now then Detective why don’t you take Lacey up to my penthouse. I haven’t used it in a while and it could do with an airing. The fridge and cupboards are fully stocked, you know where the key is. In fact stay a couple of days if you want”

“That’s very generous Ms Belfry” Weaver looked hopefully at Lacey then remembered Begbie who was still curled up on his lap “What about him though?”

“Oh don’t worry. Ivy can look after him. It’s the least she can do”

Begbie had not liked the idea of staying with Ivy one little bit, hissing, at both Weaver and Lacey as they tried to put him in the cat basket. In the end Lacey gave Ivy a key and she agreed to make sure there was food and water out.

Victoria Belfry’s penthouse was like something out of a magazine. Tastefully decorated in muted tones, various works of art adorning the walls. The balcony had a view over the city, Lacey stood watching headlights streak like lasers round the buildings.

Weaver appeared with a bottle of expensive champagne and two stemmed glasses. All chilled to perfection. He put them down on the bistro table and joined Lacey at the railing.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” he murmured

Lacey hummed in agreement.

“I’m sorry about what happened..”

“You said. Several times”

“I know but..” he sighed “every other relationship I’ve had got screwed over by work. I didn’t want that to happen to us”

“It wasn’t your fault Chris. I should’ve trusted you, at least let you explain. I’m sorry too”

He pulled her to him and kissed her forehead “Champagne?”

“Why not since we aren’t paying”

Weaver laughed “We’ll be okay Lacey. Me, you and that bloody cat. We’ll be okay”

“More than okay”

They clinked glasses “To us” said Weaver.

#a monthly rumbelling #wovenlace #hyperion heights #the old bill is an english term for the police #august prompt

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palettepainter · 5 years ago

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(IMPORTANT UPDATES) Look back at 2019

Big changes for 2020! Hey there everyone! 2019 has come and gone, another year passed and a new chance for me to try and improve myself when the new year starts! As far as I know me and my family don’t have plans to celebrate New Years other then of course spending time together, but I want to post this now just so that it’s out of the way it’s posted and I won’t have to worry about. If I can be honest, 2019 towards the last few months of the year has been a real punch in the face..multiple punches. I’ve broken off connections with people who treated me wrongly in the past, had random breakdowns at school (don’t worry they weren’t seriously bad), had trouble with siblings - it’s been overall, a very up and down year for me, but sadly towards the end and in the running up to Christmas, it was mostly down. But hey, 2020 means the start of a new year and a new chance to grow stronger as a person and an artist!..Seriously though 2020, please be kind to me- As you can probably from what’s in the title, there are going to be a few big changes to my characters and stories going into 2020. I’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot ever since mid August, it’s been something I’ve mentioned to one or two people, but ultimately I had to make the choice. And now with 2019 gone and done and 2020 being the opportunity to start fresh, I think it’s a good time to make these announcements. I understand that this may upset a few of you and yes it is going to make things a bit confusing for my NGAU, but this is my choice and I’m confident that making this choice will lead to me being much more happier with what I make. 🔸I will not be continuing my Zoophobia: Next Generation book series To anyone new who doesn’t know what I mean, Zoophobia: Next Generation was a book series I started back in December 2018, which included my own NG’s and one or two OC’s from the fandoms Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel. Since the first book the series has since gained a lot of attention on Wattpad, and believe me when I say that I am truly grateful for how much positive attention the series got! It was my first time ever writing something on my own and it felt really special to know so many of you liked what I was doing! But as the series went on, I slowly began to loose my drive to continue writing. This is something I’ve admitted to close friends, but now that I’m older and I’m more aware of errors in writing and certain ways in which writing can be written to be better, I realise that the series isn’t up to my current standards. The story itself isn’t one that I’m proud of, and as my first book series, I feel like I was biting off more then I could chew when I first started writing this series. Ive realised that the story line I had in mind would be too hard to work into both Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel without me having to make very big changes to either of those fandoms current stories and/or certain characters personalities, and though yes it is my own AU so if I wanted I could change the characters to fit better with my story, but honestly, I don’t want to change the characters. The characters from Zoophobia and HH I absolutely adore and there isn’t much I want changed about them, so I don’t want to alter the characters drastically to the point where they become an entirely different character. The main drive of the story with the main characters didn’t pick up till around the second book, and when I first started writing, the story line wasn’t even finished, I was just going with the flow and linking one thing to the other, hoping people would like it just as much as I did at the time. And lastly, this is probably the biggest reason why I’m no longer going to be continuing the series, but the first couple of chapters of the first book where too heavily inspired by another book series: I don’t want to continue to create something, when I feel as if it’s been too heavily based around someone else’s work. I want to create my own stuff and I feel as though the first book just isn’t that, it’s not my own work, and that’s leaded to me viewing the first book as my least favourite. This means that from now going forward, any events that took place in the book series is now no longer cannon. Some headcannons will be changed and altered due to this, for one Eve’s Headcannon will be changing as she will now most likely be alive in my NGAU now, so the stories I had planned for her such and the stories I already posted are no longer cannon either: I will say also that this also counts for my Eve X Hatchet NG Diego, he will remain cannon and will most likely be alive also. As for the characters that where involved in the books such as Lucy, Maggot and Bumbuss, I’ll figure out what to do with them. I defiantly want to keep Lucy as she was the very first OC I ever made for the Zoophobia fandom that wasn’t a NG, but I’m unsure on what to do with Maggot and Bumbuss. As much as I now don’t enjoy the series, it was fun to write while it lasted, and I cannot stress enough how grateful I am too everyone who ever read, liked, or commented on the series! But from now on, I won’t be returning to the series. I held off on announcing this and the reason it took me so long to decide this was because I didn’t want to leave you guys without a conclusion to the story, the series was only one book away from completion and I didn’t want to cut off the series so close to it being finished. But again, the book series isn’t something I enjoy anymore, so I hope all of you can understand and will hopefully look forward to the further projects I have planned 🔸New books to come Though my main book series will now be ending, I have a lot of ideas for new book series. Since the second and third book I had been having ideas for stories that could take place after the series, and the reason I kept doing the series for as long as I did was because I really wanted to start work on the stories that would take place after the series was finished. One of my goals for the new year is to try and push out more stories and book series for you guys, I feel like I’ve defiantly been lacking in the story department, mostly because I couldn’t find any ideas for illustrations to go with the story, and because I always felt too tired to ever finish any stories or illustrations. None of these story ideas yet have fully scripted out story lines, so far they’re just ideas and until I can get a script done for them, I won’t be starting work on them. I want these books to be as great and they can be, and not only do I want to make something that I can be proud of, but something that you guys will enjoy as much as I do. These ideas are in no particular order, and I haven’t decided if I’ll defiantly be doing all of these just yet, but here are some ideas I’ve had for books/book series for the future: -A book with my NG Box explaining her past before she came to live with Ribbon -A book with my OC Willem and how he discovers another hybrid like himself -Nidra’s story as she grows up to accept a new family, while letting a beloved friend go to persue their own life -Junior reapers: a story/series of stories involving Lotus, Charcoal, Parfait and Rae as they go on a quest to become junior reapers Maybe a MHA + Dragonous story *Dragonous is a Villainous dragon AU created by shabiest (Instagram), I will need to get permission from them if I want to write a book with this AU* Recently I got into My Hero Academia, and you can all blame that on my cousin When I first saw the series I kinda rolled my eyes at it, I’ve never really been a big anime fan the style never grabbed me when I was younger: and all I can say is that I should defiantly have given the series a try sooner MHA is a series I’ve come too really enjoy and love, I love the characters the story the dialogue, everything about this show! I’ve said this before but what I love about the show is how it’s great at showing us a large range of characters without straying too far from the main plot, and how this show makes me feel: there have been times where this show has had me emotionally frustrated, sad and happy, and if a show or a movie can make me feel a powerful emotion (angry sad or other), then I’m down for it. I’ve since made a few OC’s for the fandom, and I’ve been thinking about making a book about it. It’s not scripted out yet, and some of my ideas play into some events in season 4 - but if you guys enjoy MHA and you enjoy my OC’s, please let me know your thoughts! And Dragonous, a Villanious AU I’ve come to adore! I’ve always been a big fan of dragons, they where my favourite mythical creature growing up! (And still are to this day), with the creators permission I’d like to create a book with the few OC’s I’ve made, this one may not happen because again I need permission, but tell me your thoughts! Merch Again, something I’ve mentioned before, and something I’ve been really wanting to do! Me and my dad have made a shirt design with one of my OC’s, so far it’s only black and white (we’ve decided to go simple black and white since it’s my first time making merch), and hopefully if all goes well we can start to make more colourful merch However this all depends on you guys: I may be opening up commissions in the future, though I can’t say when, but this will depend on you: I have a PayPal and a KoFi if you guys wish to support me and my work (no pressure though!), every little bit counts and it would mean so much to me if you guys would consider supporting me and my work, even if it’s something as small as a pound! 🔸Collabs/art trades/design trades/RP’s There’s nothing really big to say about these things, but I have decided that from now on that I will only do these kinds of things with close friends.

Finally, I want to say a big BIG thank you to everyone who has stuck around on this crazy train ride to support me. This year as I said at the beginning, has not been the best for me towards the end, and I am so grateful to all the support you guys gave me. I know that I'm not very good with replying to comments/messages, and I'm so sorry if I never got round to replying to your message or comment, but I do read the comments, I do see the wonderful things you guys say, and it's absolutely delightful to see the nice things you guys say! I want to give a big big BIG thank you to these wonderful people who have been there for me, whether it was to geek out over a show to if they where there for me when I needed support: @hazbinextgeneration - You've been an amazing pal right from the beginning, you where one of the very first people I met when I first got into the Zoophobia and HH fandom and you've been an absolute gem! You've been there for me when I was down and you've listened through out all of my nerd outs about characters and shows, and to have someone listen to me meant so much! You comment on nearly every piece of my work and you're always so kind and giving! Not only to me but to so many others! You've made me a lot and fanart and I'm sorry I don't nearly do enough for you in return, going into 2020, I want to change that! @cosmic-artzz - If you hadn't been there to listen to me and help me out, I honestly don't know what kind of situation I would be in now. You helped me cut off ties with people I honestly wasn't happy talking with, and despite being dragged into my drama over and over again, you where still there to listen to both sides of the argument and give advice on how I could make things better. You've always been a delight to talk to and I'm so happy we had the chance to become friends! I'm so sorry you get dragged into my troubles as much as you did dude! Going into 2020, I promise you I'll be more confident in putting my foot down when I feel as though I'm not being treated fairly! And lastly, I want to thank all of you! For sticking with me on this crazy journey! Here's to 2020 and hoping its a wonderful year!!

#Goodbye 2019!#Ready for 2020

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teamhook · 5 years ago

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A Chapter Day... Savage Heart CS AU

This story will be finished by the end of the month. :)

A love story between a pirate and his savior. An innocent, beautiful, selfless woman meets a man with no manners, no formal education and not even a last name. Will Emma fall in love with Killian once she discovers that beneath his tough exterior lies a heart-wild, but a heart of gold? This is a Captain Swan AU

Beta-ed by the awesome @ilovemesomekillianjones

Cover by @xhookswenchx who is the sweetest!

|AO3| |FFN| previous chapter

|AO3| |FFN| current chapter

Chapter 12: Everything We Need Is Right In Front Of Us

The next morning Killian walked confidently towards the dining room for breakfast. He isn't surprised to see Emma already sitting at the table. He wonders if he should mention to Emma his conversation with Cora. He notices the way she is looking at him. The mistrust seems to be back in her beautiful emerald eyes.

"Good morning, lass. Sleep well?" He tries to act as if things are the same as yesterday.

"Good morning," she answers, refusing to hold his gaze. No smile or emotion, so unlike the day before.

Killian sighs and shakes his head. "I see we are back to me being the villain in this story. I thought I was starting to win you over," Killian says with a bit of hurt in his features.

"Why are you really here?" Emma asks.

"I thought we had gone over my intentions yesterday? Let me guess, the lovely lady of the house, Cora paid you a visit after she left my room and tainted our new found friendship?" Killian sits down in the closest chair to her and studies her lovely face for a reaction to his inquiries.

"Yes, she did," Emma sighs, she has a feeling he will be able to tell if she is lying.

"You know what your problem is, Saint Emma? You have the soul of a martyr, you are willing to face off with anyone to protect August. You have put up with my insults and my presence just to prevent August the shame of knowing that his wife is a whore. Don't you notice that the others take advantage of you?"

"Are you taking advantage of me?" Emma asks.

"No, I'm trying to open your eyes," Killian tells her, and Emma can tell he is sincere. "What did Cora tell you of our conversation?"

"Nothing. She just insists that you are not a good person."

Killian stands up from the table defeatedly. "It seems she has convinced you." He begins to walk away and suddenly stops, he doesn't even turn to look at her when he adds, "Emma, I thought we had reached a new level in our relationship but I see that I was a fool. It only took a single conversation with Cora to make you question me. I have lost my appetite. I will go check on the patient."

She wonders if she should go looking for him as a sadness seeps into her. She's lost in thought and misses Cora walk in.

"Good morning," Cora tells her with a tight smile, then calls for Enith to serve them.

"It seems I missed Mr. Jones. Such a pity."

"He seems very fond of you. I can't help wonder though, with such an unlikely friendship we may have an advantage. I'm not judging, dear. Do you by chance happen to know why he accepted the position here?" Cora asks.

"He says he wants to become an honorable man and perhaps even someday find a woman to marry. I think he is sincere."

"Oh. Do you know if he may have set his sights on anyone? Perhaps with my support, we can help him move along faster in his quest. I just want him to leave before he can do any real damage to this family."

Emma studies Cora carefully. There is something she is not telling her, but she knows better than to push for answers. "I don't believe there is anyone in particular. "Please excuse me. I must go check on the injured man we came across yesterday."

"Of course, dear," Cora answers and doesn't even bother asking how the poor man is doing.

Emma gets up and quickly finds her way out of the dining room, she feels she can breathe once she is out of the house. She knows there is something that she is not being told. Walking absentmindedly around the property, she suddenly collides with a very solid wall. She looks up and is met with stormy blue eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry; I should have been paying attention to where I was going." Emma apologizes profusely once the shock of being in his arms wears off.

"So how was he?" Emma asks as she pulls herself away from the warmth of his body. "I was on my way to catch up with you."

"His name is Michael Thomas. I bet no one here, including you, love, has even bothered to learn that poor man's bloody name. He is so beneath the lot of you." Killian walks past Emma and keeps his strides long and purposeful to put distance between them.

Emma stands there trying to process what just happened between them. Wait did he just call her love?

She finally starts to move and heads back to the house. She is dazed and confused about her own feelings. Why does it bother her so… if he is upset or how he sees her? Sure she was raised in a sheltered environment, but she does care for others. In her education, she was never taught that women could make a difference. Sure there was an exception to the rule like Cora Booth, but she inherited her position with the death of her husband. At least until August, the man of the house would take over.

Killian is furious as he enters the house, he heads to his room. He's inexplicably angry that she assumes the worst of him just because she had a bloody conversation with Mrs. Booth. He should tell her exactly what that horrible woman offered him. Money and a bloody wife. Yet she assumes he is the scoundrel in the story. He knows his reputation is not the best but he had enjoyed their conversations and he thought the feeling was mutual. He shared with her some of his innermost thoughts. Thoughts that he had not shared with anyone, insecurities he has not revealed to anyone. He will not even entertain the real reason her opinion matters to him. He is about to reach for his door and suddenly hears his name.

"Mr. Jones. Have you decided to accept my offer? I can sweeten the deal for you. I'm sure I can guarantee a wedding with Emma," Cora says.

Killian freezes as he listens to the woman. Did she really just offer him, Emma? Does this mean Emma mentioned an interest in him? He turns around to face the older woman. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, you heard me perfectly, Captain. I'm offering money and Emma. I know Emma well; I know she will make an excellent wife. Sadly my son did not see the value in her he seems to see in her cousin but I have a feeling you might see her worth."

"Since when do you address me as Captain? I thought you only saw me as a rogue. And as far as Emma is concerned, only her feelings matter not mine."

"Isn't that how you are so well known in town? A scoundrel and a womanizer who just happens to have a soft spot for a very specific blonde. You chose her. If you want her, all you have to do is accept my offer."

"You are so eager for me to take the same woman you had invested so much in to become your son's wife. Me, a lowly pirate. Does she even know that you are offering her like she is a commoner? Why are you so eager to be rid of me?" Killian asks as he steps closer to Cora.

Cora stands proud and simply replies, "You have not turned down the offer. Hmm. You like the possibility, the thought that someone of her class could be yours for the taking." Cora smiles and turns to go, leaving him standing in front of his room.

He sighs as he enters his room. Could he be so selfish to accept? The problem is that he wouldn't be so tempted if it was just any other high-class woman but the idea of it being her, Emma. No, he wants her to want him. That thought scares him and confuses him. No, he is here for Milah. He knows Emma loves August, but just the idea of having someone love you in that capacity makes him curious. He envies August; he has Milah and Emma's devotion.

Archie knocks upon the door to the Booth estate and greets Enith who answers the door. "Good day, could you please let Mr. Jones know that I'm here?" He had decided this morning was a good chance to see how the adjustment has gone, but he is also there to check up on Killian after hearing that Dr. Whale had been to the residence to treat an injured man. He hopes it is not something Killian did, he knows the man has a temper.

After wandering for a bit longer, Emma finds her way to the house after her disconcerting encounter with Killian. She knows it wouldn't be proper for her to go to his room and attempt a friendly conversation with him, but she feels so guilty. She sees Archie arrive and enter the house just before her. This will give her an excuse to go look for Killian and start a new dialogue with him, hopefully avoiding the whole disaster of the topic of their last conversation. She smiles and rushes in and is just in time to hear Archie asking Enith to retrieve Killian.

"Enith, I will retrieve Mr. Jones for Mr. Hopper. You can go back to the kitchen and get Mr. Hopper something to drink," Emma tells Enith as she smiles to Archie.

"Emma I don't want to impose. Enith can go get him," Archie says softly.

"It is no trouble and besides there are a few things I need to discuss with him. Please make yourself comfortable. We will be with you shortly," Emma says as she hurries to go looking for Killian.

Emma finally arrives at Killian's door and knocks. There is some scuffling and then the door opens.

Killian is surprised to see Emma standing in front of him. "How may I be of assistance Saint Emma?" Killian asks.

"Mr. Hopper is here to see you. But before you go to see him, I just wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. I just cannot seem to stop myself from offending you," Emma says to him and gives him a hopeful smile

"Thank you," Killian says and tries not to read too much into her apology. He swiftly walks past her to find Archie. He knows that when it comes to Emma he is in trouble. He had a simple plan, gain trust and access to the Booth fortune. He's got that, but somehow it has lost its appeal. The moment he arrived at the estate and found out that Milah had left on her honeymoon he was angry and upset, but somehow or perhaps it was because of someone, he had forgotten of Milah and the plan. He needs to keep his distance from Emma to keep a clear mind.

Emma just stares at his back as he gets further away from her. Racing, to catch up to him, she swiftly reaches for his arm.

Killian is startled at the contact as he turns to face her.

"Killian, I just apologized for my behavior from earlier and you just walk past me? I know I made an error in judgment, But this is me telling you I want to try to see the best in you. Seriously, what is wrong with you?" Emma asks frustratedly.

Did she really call him by his first name? Killian had stopped walking as soon as he had felt her touch.

Emma realizes why Killian is gaping at her."Oh, I'm sorry. I just... I didn't mean to overstep. I know we have never been properly introduced. My name is Emma Nolan. I just want to start over, go back to before the whole misunderstanding. Mr. Hopper and Tink seem to care for you a lot. I think maybe we can be friends," Emma says looking at him so hopefully.

She is truly making an effort. Could it be so bad? He couldn't avoid her forever. They would be living in the same place for the foreseeable future.

"Killian Jones at your service, my lady." Killian bows slightly and grabs her hand to bring it to his lips without losing eye contact. He hears her breath hitch and smiles softly at her and adds, "I accept your proposition." He can't help wondering about the other offer that concerns the blonde in front of him.

Killian and Emma are walking side by side when Archie sees them approaching, and he knows he has never seen Killian with that glow.

"It was nice seeing you, Mr. Hopper. I will leave you two," Emma says and walks away.

"Killian, if I remember correctly when we were at the convent I recall asking you if you two knew each other and you answered no. There seemed to be a familiarity between you two. I really think this could be a good thing," Archie adds.

"Archie, you know her parents. Do you really think they would approve anything between Emma and me? Let us not forget the fact that she is a novice. Even I have some respect for the habit." Killian says to his old friend. Sure he has made an improper comment here and there but he is not a complete scoundrel. But if she were to change her mind... he really needs to stop thinking this way. It must be all those insinuations and comments that Cora Booth has made.

Archie smiles and says, "I will drop that subject for now. I just stopped by to see how things were going. I heard Dr. Whale stopped by."

"Aw, so that's what this little visit is about. You are here to check up on me." Killian can't help feeling a little hurt. "To satisfy your curiosity, I will answer. First, Emma is here being my host, per se. While on tour of the grounds we found and injured man. If you would like, Emma could confirm my story. The good Doctor was not needed because of my actions."

Archie looks fondly at his friend and says, "Emma? You two are on a first name base? Killian, is it Emma, the one you are trying to be a better man for? I'll gladly offer you my last name and you can marry her. Her parents would not object. We are good friends an-"

Killian rolls his eyes. Didn't Archie just say he would drop the subject of Emma and he has just started again? Killian interrupts before he can finish what he was going to say, simply stating, "I have realized that all I want is for the woman I choose to want me for me. I want her to accept me as I am, simply as Killian Jones." He ignores and chooses not to correct his longtime friend's assumption about his feelings toward Emma.

"I was wondering if you could help me with something. I want to legitimize my business. Could you help me with that process? Perhaps my employment with August Booth can help with the transition. The man we found, when he gets better, I would like to offer him a job. I believe I can provide him with a better work environment."

"Killian, do you really think that he will regain his health?" Archie asks. The man had pneumonia and was badly injured maybe he shouldn't be so hopeful about his recovery.

"Emma was taking care of him. She has hope he will mend and that is enough to get me to believe as well," Killian says.

Archie looks intently at Killian. Does he not see what it is so obvious? He will not keep mentioning Emma because he notices how Killian tries to deflect his comments and questions. Yet Killian keeps talking about her like she is a savior. For now, he will stop pushing. "I will take care of setting up the business for you. Just remember, if you need any help here just get the word out to me and I will be over as soon as possible," Archie offers. "Have you had any issues with Cora?"

"Nothing I can't handle," Killian says.

"Good to hear. I should leave now. You have given me much to do. Please say goodbye to Emma for me. And, Killian? Emma is special, please never discard the idea."

With those final words, Archie Hopper leaves Killian Jones pondering if his future will involve a young, beautiful, blonde woman. One that he knows he will certainly never be good enough for.

Tagging:

@hookedonapirate @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @seriouslyhooked @profdanglaisstuff @let-it-raines @revanmeetra87 @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @kymbersmith-90 @branlovestowrite @thejollyroger-writer @shireness-says @ilovemesomekillianjones @thisonesatellite @thesschesthair @winterbythesea @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke @superchocovian @lfh1226-linda @artistic-writer @thislassishooked @shardminds @winterbaby89 @xhookswenchx @ultraluckycatnd @gingerchangeling @laschatzi @wellhellotragic @xemmaloveskillianx @courtorderedcake @pirateherokillian @optomisticgirl @darkcolinodonorgasm @sherlockianwhovian @andiirivera @djlbg @nikkiemms @jennjenn615 @scientificapricot @officerrogers @imlaxdris71 @therealstartraveller776

#teamhook SavageHeart #Captain Swan #cs ff #CS Mafia #CS Crew

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zurilux · 5 years ago

Text

Vent session 4/26/20

A couple things. First, the not so serious.

I’ve been living with my parents for a little over a year now since the second year of my boyfriend’s ST program basically makes it impossible to work while doing the program. We decided to move our in with our parents to save money (especially since there’s no way I could support us and our two dogs on my own.) My parents are fine. They’re not perfect but they’re fine. I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older though just how different I am from a lot of my family. My parents are definitely products of their time. They dont believe in therapy. I go to therapy. I’ve gone to therapy since I was a freshman in college (When I could go without them paying for it/knowing about it) I’ve recently started Trauma counseling, trying EMDR to process past traumas and maybe stop some of my more toxic/ bad habits and the cycle of abuse. (my current relationship isn’t abusive but I’m scared that I may make it toxic because thats really all i’ve known or if it fails I’ll go back to the cycle)

I myself have had quite a few traumatic events happen in my life. In the last few years I’ve become pretty open about my mental health, hoping that it might help others (so no one will feel the way I felt, like I was alone etc) I think a lot of my family would benefit from therapy, as now that I am so open, sometimes my family will share their stories. My parents, like I said don’t believe in therapy, and now they also believe they are too old to be fixed. Especially my mom. Which, for me, is really saddening. My mom, when overwhelmed, will hit herself in the head. Which can make it hard to talk to her about anything serious because she also takes a lot of things super personally (and I cant blame her for that. I’m sensitive AF) and it sucks that she feels she, or her inner peace, is worth it at this point. I’ve found a lot of my family just doesn’t really seem to want to better themselves and would rather just say “This is how I am, take it or leave it”

It’s exhausting to be around people who are in that sort of mindset when you’re working very hard to be better. Trying to be happy, get my anxiety/depression/PTSD under control, process traumas....

Also. some of my traumas happened in the house, or when I was teen living here. SO, sometimes just being in this house is a struggle. Being back in this room where my ex-wife tried to kick me out and pushed me to a breaking point. Being in this room where I found out my ex-wife kissed someone else while they were deployed and decided they didnt want to be with me anymore. Being in this house where I broke down shattered, screaming and crying for the world to stop spinning, and my ex-wife yelled at me, belittled me, harassed me so much over the phone I had to get my parents involved so she wouldnt speak to me again. In this house where I had to hide so much of myself, had to pretend so many things didnt happen....Its really hard being here. especially in this time of super stress, being in Quarantine and a Pandemic due to COVID-19.

and to add on top of that, my mother has started trying to inch me out. My grandma is supposed to move in when I move out. I guess my grandma is hounding her, so in turn, she’s hounding me. Even after I have explained that COVID has messed with my boyfriends program, and my planned summer vacation. Originally he was supposed to be done in June, and we had a FL trip planned in Sept, so we’d move out after our FL trip, to save money, and hopefully not stress the dogs out. (moving to a new place and then all of a sudden your parents are gone for 8 days might be a little much for our pups). Depending on when he started, and how much money I saved, and if my coworker would be moving in with us we could possibly move in August, gives the dogs a month to adjust to their new surroundings before we would move. BUT, now....he may have to do a summer term, to make up for the lack of ST time in ORs at different hospitals, which means he wouldn’t start working in June, he may, depending on how they do their summer term, not be done with his program till July or August...and obviously he needs to work, for at least a month or two before we could move. also, we don’t know if we’ll be able to travel to FL in September, THere isnt really a point in going if Disneyworld and Universal aren’t open/fully functioning. soooo....a lot is up in the air. The added stress of my mom constantly asking when I’ll be moving out is not helping my stress level at all. It’s irking me more than I thought. I didn’t want to admit quite how much it bothers me. oi.

Secondly,

probably a month ago now...or a couple weeks I’m not sure (time is hard right now ya’ll) our dogs started fighting. Very suddenly. We’ve had Carbon since September 2018. Frank (Jake’s dog) and Carbon have never fought till this point. I’m not sure what changed because they both have lived with me (Frank and one of Jake’s parents’ dog dont get along, so he had to live with me) the entire time I’ve lived at my parents house...It seemed like we were making progress, we were able to have them out in the same room without any trouble for a few days recently. (previously we had been crating one, and switching them out about every 4 hours if we were both home) They do fine on walks together. they seemed to be doing okay, but then another fight happened a day or two ago...Jake’s suggestion is to remain living separate. I’ll move in with my co-worker, he’ll either move out on his own or with a roommate with Frank.

to backtrack, Carbon is a almost 2 year old pit/lab mix. He was a rescue, I got him when he was 5 months old. He’s fairly mellow for his age, but he is 2, he’s young and playful. Frank is a 6/7 year old potato dog (he’s short, a little long and has a round/barrelesque body, supposedly a chihuahua, pug, staffy mix. He isn’t fat either, its solid mass. He’s older and grumpy. so maybe he just snapped at Carbon’s youthful shenanigans. They both are very much daddy’s boys. they may have fought over his attention (now that they see him more, he has been basically quarantining at my house ) it’s kind of impossible to know.

I don’t like the idea of living apart. I’m needy. Plus, for a majority of our relationship we have lived together already. Jake is not only my boyfriend but also my bestfriend. I’m very physically affectionate, and Jake kind of sucks at texting...Also, I’m worried that our schedules wont line up. I work M-Thurs 6:30 am to 5pm. his ST schedule could have him working 12 hour days, he could have to work on my days off. having him spend the night once a week is not enough for me, if I can help it, most of this year that’s all I’ve been getting and its been awful (Quarantine has changed that but, thats special circumstances) We already were only supposed to live apart while he was finishing his program, and now we may need to live apart another year...or more...for the rest of Frank’s life, unless Carbon passes suddenly I guess...thats a long time. I get that he doesnt want to crate them “forever” if we lived together. and if we wanted to go on a trip, we’d need specific people to help us, to be sure no fights ensued or whatever, if someone gets bit...it’s over. I understand that...it might not be fair to “crate and rotate” them for however long we need to and neither of us is giving up their dog....I thought maybe if we could get a big enough space maybe it wouldnt be so bad. we could kind of section them off away from each other...(this past year its been me and the 2 dogs in like maaaaaybe 500sq ft) but finding that might be difficult in our price range...especially since we’ll be renting and probably moving to Portland (which is expensive) it’s causing a lot of stress for me...my anxiety is causing me to overthink. Like. is this somehow a sign that we shouldnt be together? He and I got together before i was even officially divorced (granted he was supposed to just be a confidence boost, not actually a legit relationship..but we fucked up and fell in love) and he has broken up with twice over our three years...the second time really wasnt necessary because he was trying to take care of me, to not cause me to be miserable during his second year of school when he knew I wouldnt be able to see him much and that I am needy, but we ended up doing what I had suggested...which is what we are doing now..being together but living apart. sigh. I don’t know. It’s a lot going on right now. I’m not a fan....everything is super stressful as is...and now all this too...oi oi oi. sigh. it’ll work out somehow...right?

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