#hopefully at the same uni im already at

[littlemaple]

the hardest thing about getting a masters is bullshitting your way through the thesis

[heaven4lostgirls]

Can you pretty pleaaassse write for regulus black x reader angst

Where they were friends and got along really well and because they're both pureblooded there families arranged marriage for them. But then regulus gets paranoid and starts to think badly of you and thinks that you were only ever nice to him so that your parents would arrange marriage. And he thinks that you hold the same awful pureblood beliefs as both of your parents and he is afraid to say anything about it incase you tell his family that he doesn't really believe that muggles are lesser. Then regulus is quite distant and mean in your marriage and he eventually comes to his senses when he realises how upset you are and how much his distance hurts you and he can hear you crying yourself to sleep

pairing: regulus black x fem!reader

warning: angst, regulus is a bit of a dick but he comes around ! miscommunication (i’m sorry✊)

summary: request above

authors note: hi! sorry this took forever, i’m really bad at keeping up with requests but i hope you enjoy this, i always say im hoping to get back into writing but it’s always touch and go, my mental health isn’t great a lot of the time and uni just piles on so much more, hopefully you guys understand ! 🫶🩷

regulus wasn’t used to people sticking around, he had been abandoned by the only person he ever truly cared about and left to fend for himself. which was why he assumed when news of his engagement to you was announced by his parents, at a shared dinner party for the sacred 28, you two would simply…co-exist. never fully acknowledging the others presence yet acquaintances at best.

what a shock to his system it was when he grew to know what a wonderful person you were, never abrasive or hostile like his parents, never boastful like most of the pureblood families he knew, instead you were the embodiment of everything he never knew he wanted, a calm to the raging angst inside of him he couldn’t quell after sirius had left, and that alone left him scared more than any of his parents threats to present him to the dark lord as a servant.

you two had formed a quick friendship due to the circumstances surrounding your fast paced engagement, you were set to marry next august and your engagement had only been announced in april. regulus had no problem performing his duties to his family, however this one came with little to no reluctance from either of you as feelings of love and respect blossomed from the friendship you two shared.

however, as time passed, regulus could slowly but surely feel his walls he had fought so hard to build up, crack. he couldn’t fathom why someone like you would feel so comfortable around him, how you somehow managed to worm your way under his skin like no one ever could, not even sirius.

except as time flew by, he had somehow found some of that “gryffindor courage” as james potter always declared, to tell you about his feelings, emphasizing that if you wished, he would never bring up again if you did not reciprocate and you two would still move forward together into marriage as friends.

to his surprise, you were much more welcoming to his feelings than expected, you two had shared a small kiss as you leant your forehead against his and claimed “i was just waiting for you to see me.”

since you two were already a couple in the eyes of the public, the only people he had really had to tell was your shared friends. as expected, they all reacted joyfully to the news and you both carried through the rest of your year no longer pretending to be in love, but actually falling into it.

however, at the beginning of your 6th year, you could tell something had shifted between yours and regulus’ dynamic. no longer was he patient and comforting, instead he was judgmental and fast to anger. some part of you knew it had to do with his parents but you didn’t have the heart to push your questions onto him.

as time passed you watched as he distanced himself from you, pushing away your touches, rejecting your offers to hang out, blowing you off when he would eventually agree. you could only handle so much of his behavior before you eventually broke when telling your friends.

“i don’t know what to do anymore, it’s like walking on eggshells whenever he’s around because im scared of him snapping at me for breathing too loud” you vent to your friends as you place your hands on your eyes to try keep the tears at bay.

“how longs this been going on y/n?” pandora asks softly as she shares a concerned look with lily. you blubber out as answer that sounds like “a couple of months” as tears leak past your palms.

“i can’t keep doing this” you emphasize to them both, “and you know i can’t break up with him because we still have to get married-“

“break up?!” lily questions surprised, “you can’t be serious y/n.” she says as she places a hand on your shoulder.

“i think you need to talk to him” pandora says again as she smiles softly at you as you look at her with tear filled eyes.

“…what if he doesn’t want me anymore?” you whisper, too afraid to say it out loud in fear of it coming true.

“oh love” lily coos as she drags you into a small cuddle with her and pandora, “you’re gonna need to ask him to know that y/n” she whispers as she rubs your back.

you sigh heavily and nod before looking at the both of them. “okay” you concede as you try and form some sort of a plan to confront regulus, your anxiety spikes at the thought of him not wanting your relationship anymore, you couldn’t imagine a marriage with the man you loved where his feelings weren’t reciprocated.

the next day, you planned to corner regulus at the library before dinner but as you walked up to his table, you heard the voice of not only regulus, but barty as well.

“reg, you know you’re hurting her by ignoring her” barty says with a sigh as you pause behind a bookshelf near the table to eavesdrop.

“you know better than i, that i can never be with someone who thinks the way she does…its disgusting” regulus says with a sneer but you can hear how disappointed he is by the statement.

disgusting? he thinks i’m…disgusting? what is he even talking about? you don’t think you’ve ever done anything remotely bad enough to be called disgusting.

“how do you know she thinks like them?” barty implores and you hear regulus sigh, “you’ve seen how she acts when the sacred 28 talks about the muggles” he says and you frown, part of being a child of one of the sacred 28 meant you had to act your part, regulus knew that better than anyone else. so why was he suddenly judging you and telling barty about your issues when he couldn’t even give you the time of day?

“i don’t know if i can marry someone like her” regulus says again and your heart drops. someone like her, you repeat in your head, every insecurity you ever worked through, comes back in tenfold from that sentence alone. you stumble on your feet from the flashes of tears and heartache from all your deepest points of sorrow.

you shake your head and straighten your back before reminding yourself, if he wants a true pureblood wife, that’s what i’ll be. quiet, docile,…perfect.

your wedding approaches faster than you can imagine, dress fittings, bridal party dresses and events all pass with a blur. never fully there, you encompass a state of numbness.

regulus and all your friends notice how you slowly fall into the facade you usually have in front of your parents, instead this time, it never breaks in front of them.

regulus waits for you to come to him, to seek his comfort like you have so many times before, but it never comes.

he spends his nights worrying about you, questioning if it’s something he’s done, you’re still sweet and loving to him, just…more hollow than you were before.

you embody the perfect pureblood princess and he couldn’t hate it more, he hears from people around you how you’re not sleeping, always coming to class in a perfect face of makeup everyday when you usually only used skincare, in beautiful dresses for hogsmead days when you used to use comfortable clothes.

he tries to talk to you, to question why you’ve somehow flipped the switch out of nowhere, but they go unanswered.

the day of your wedding, he can see past the makeup, your sunken in eyes and red eyes. he still places a soft smile on his face as you stare passively into the distance, never making eye contact with him while saying your vows.

the distance between the both of you grows larger as he starts to believe that this was the life you truly wanted, a prince and princess, a couple born out of need not out of love, arranged perfectly to fit the narrative of pureblood royalty.

however, one night he falls asleep later than usual and hears you cry into your pillow, small pleas of being good enough for him as your body shakes with small sobs. he resists the urge to reach out to you in fear of you not recieving his touch well.

he lies awake as he hears you say, “i’m not like i was before, please let him love me now, oh merlin please” you whisper with clenched hands and eyes that leak tears. his heart breaks at the thought of you existing to please him.

he had seen how his mother had done the same for his father, how she turned cold and abusive with no comfort and love from her partner, how she pushed her self hatred onto her children. how that pushed her eldest son to run away.

he spends the next week racking his brain for what he could’ve done for you to think that way before he realises that the summer after his 5th year, his parents had implored him never to give you anything more than the bare minimum because nobody could be trusted. he remembers pulling away from you and pushing you away in fear of you using him for his fortune.

the idea that his parents had made him internalize that you would never love him just for him, you were moving into this marriage not because of your shared love but because of necessity. his heart drops out of his chest as he realizes all of this must have translated to you and that he now had a lot to make up for.

he plans out meticulously how to get his wife back and slowly but surely, he does. it starts with small things, a single flower that you had told him once you liked the smell of on your nightstand, a pair of earrings you remarked look beautiful when window shopping. a handwritten letter telling you goodmorning and his favorite things about you in your bag before class.

your initial confusion morphs to anger at the thought of changing yourself all for him to want you to go back to the self he called repulsive. you don’t respond to his initial attempts to woo you, but as weeks and months pass, he doesn’t give up.

he speaks to you, really speaks to you, asking you about your day, how he can help you when you’re not feeling well, what you need whenever he leaves the house, small compliments about your cooking or how the colour of your dress matches your eyes.

you two start sharing small good mornings and good nights when going to bed, which then translates to small hand holding or shared touches between each other. the ice around your heart slowly but surely starts melting whenever he’s around, you quickly become accustomed to his quick kisses on the cheek whenever he leaves the room or house.

he holds you at night as he whispers sweet promises of never letting you down again, grasping your face to look into your eyes whenever he compliments you to let you know how much you mean to him.

your heart is now warm and full at the thought of his presence, no longer a shell of yourself, slowly but surely healing with his sweet actions.

[yelenabelovasbxtch]

Crush On An Archer PT.1

a/n: Hey! Omg long time no see! I kinda maybe lost interest in writing for a bit there but tbh I think I'm back. No promises because I don't want to promise and then break your hearts but also I realllyyyy enjoyed writing this and I hope you all enjoy reading it! Will def be making a part two in coming days so stay tuned. LMK if you want to be added to the taglist, I am going to put some tags of past taglists below just in case they are interested in reading :) ALSO! Special shout out to @scmg11 because their writing is honestly what made me wanna get back into it. So,,I hope you enjoy!

Kate X Fem!Reader

Concept: Reader has a crush on Kate (school/Uni setting) and she doesn't know how to tell her.

Warning: Cussing, mentions of smut, IM TRYING TO WRITE SLOW BURN BUT BEAR WITH ME ITS NEW!

Word Count: 2.7k

You’re a month into your summer vacation and things couldn’t be more…boring. You love and appreciate your parents dearly for putting out the money so that you could attend a prestigious school in New York with a kick ass archery team but does it ever suck to be this far from all your friends for four months. To make the situation work, your dad had to transfer jobs to another state that pulls in a little more money annually with slightly more affordable housing but that means you aren’t even near the people you grew up around. Rural Mississippi is a fairly big step from living in Boston. Boston at least had people, out here it’s like you’re lucky if you get to meet a neighbour because the land has us all so far apart. In all honesty, although it’s boring, you really have one specific reason for being so bummed out. Towards the end of your last semester, you got started getting closer with one of the girls a year younger on your team, Kate. Typically the older girls competed and practised together and the younger girls did the same. Although you two were only a year apart it’s just how things worked out, so you didn’t cross paths very often. However, one day you were walking home from class, stopped to get coffee and basically bumped into her. The meeting was really brief but it was enough to make you catch feelings almost instantly. 

Your interest in her grew as you followed her on Instagram and she followed back. Obviously you took a peak at her page and scrolled to the bottom laughing at the really cringey posts from 2015 she had still up. All you wanted to do was talk to her again but you didn’t know how, although she was a year younger than you she intimidated you so much. Her deep blue eyes were honestly enough to make you stutter whenever you had the chance to talk to her. A month had gone by already and you could not wait to get back to school so you could see her again. Luckily, coach has yearly “team-building” days before the season starts and they’re about half way through the summer so hopefully you can talk to her before then and maybe convince her to hang out when you come back to school. 

Over the next week or so you liked a few story posts that she’d upload every now and again but the day finally came where you felt like you could swipe up and respond to it…y’know…maybe spark a little conversation. 

“Damn Bishop, is this a new bow?” In response to a story post of her showing off some of her off season training. 

“Haha yeah it is, flips out and everything…it's really freakin’ cool.” She replied almost instantly and that made a giant warm smile come across your face. 

Shit– what do you say back? Your main goal was honestly to keep the convo going so you could subtly mention down the line hanging out with her. 

“Yeah that’s sick, wow I’d kill to try something like that out.”

“Well next time I see you, please by all means give it a shot” She replies back.

“Might just have to take you up on that. How’s your summer going anyways?”

“It’s alright, kind of boring though. All my friends from school move back home and I am working for my mom’s company over the summer so it all is just kind of dull. I miss going out and having fun. Wbu?”

“Yeah, I hear that. I am SO bored here. I would kill to fast forward to the fall, I miss being at school honestly. There’s only so much I can do by myself here during the summer.”

“Ugh right! I want it to be school again too but don’t get me wrong, I love the summer, the weather is great here recently and the nightlife is amazing too. I just have nobody to go with, you know.”

“Yeah I get it. Trust me, if I could be there to go out with you I would, there is definitely no nightlife here haha.”

Shit. That wasn’t too forward was it? She is taking a while to respond to you. She hasn’t even opened the message yet. 

*4 minutes later*

“Well, you’re going to be around for that team-building thing coach has us doing in a couple of weeks right?”

“Yeah, I should be.”

“Well, we can go out then if you want? Me and a few friends had plans but they’re all on the team and I’m sure they’d love to have you there too.”

“Yeah, that sounds great I’d love to!”

The conversation pretty much ended there and your contact with her was fairly limited, just a small comment here or there until you finally got to fly back to school for summer training. You settle back into the apartment you left a couple months ago, everything is still a mess where you left it but the kitchen and living room are even filthier since you are not around to clean up much after your roommates. You decided to wait until your team practice to talk to Kate about hanging out again. You didn’t want to come on too strong but also a small part of you feels like she forgot what she said months ago and you won’t end up seeing her, not outside of team stuff at least. 

You grabbed your gear and headed to the field where practice was being held. You saw some of your friends from last year and decided to catch up with them before coach pulled you all in to start practice. You were trying your best not to make it obvious but your eyes were tracking all around you looking for Kate but she was nowhere to be seen. 

*Whistle* “Okay team! Let’s bring it in. First, I just want to say thank you to everyone for making the effort to come back to campus for this, meeting I–”

“SORRY SORRY SORRY!” You hear the coach interrupted as footsteps are fast approaching the circle of archers. 

“Hi Kate.” Says coach.

“I am SO sorry. My driver was running late and then there was traffic because of a giant accident, I think there was some battle in the streets again, I don’t know, either way, my bad coach, won’t happen again…I promise.” She says with the most adorable grin that is absolutely saying she will be late again. 

“It’s alright Kate, it happens, I was just telling the team how thankful I am that everyone could make the trip back to campus for this.” Coach went on to talk about the drills you were doing for the day and man was it hard to not be in awe watching her. You tried your best not to stare all day because the last thing you wanted to do was make it obvious but fuck it felt impossible. The day came to an end and you packed up your gear, Kate was talking with the other seniors on the team as they were gathering their things and started to head out. You could feel your window closing to talk to her but interrupting her conversation with her friends and “inviting” yourself out with them just felt too weird and uncomfortable. If it wasn’t meant to be then it wasn’t meant to be but you would kill to be able to just spend an hour with her. 

You watched as she started to walk away towards the parking lot with her friends when all of a sudden she motioned for them to hold on a minute and she turned around and jogged over to you. 

“Hey y/n! Sorry we didn’t get to catch up much during practice, I saw your shooting though it’s looking good.” 

Yeah…your face is bright red. Control your shit. 

“Anyways, me and a couple friends are going out later tonight to a party that one of their friends is hosting. It’s like a Hawaiian beach summer nights themed type of party so if you have something like that to wear, that would be great.”

“Yeah, I might have something, I’ll take a look when I get home.” 

“Cool! I’ll text you the address once I get it off my friend and I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah, sounds good!” 

“Here, why don’t you put your number into my phone, I don’t like using DM’s that much.”

You take Kate’s phone out of her hand and fill out a contact for yourself, praying that she can’t hear your heart beating out of your chest. 

“Cool, thanks, I’ll send you a text in a bit.” She says with a smile and then runs off to re-join her friends. 

It seems silly sitting by your phone and literally watching the minutes tick by waiting for her to text you but that’s all  you could do. The anticipation felt like it was killing you. 

Your phone finally buzzed with a mystery number attached, “Hey y/n! It’s Kate. So…slight change of plans.”

Fuck. Is she bailing? Your eyes were glued on the three dots as she typed and you watched as they disappeared and reappeared. 

“Turns out the party is actually around the corner from my place so if you wanted to just come here first, we could pre-game and shit and then walk over together? My friends said they were going out to get their hair done so they’ll be running late.”

“Hey Kate, yeah no problem that works for me just send me your address and lmk what time you want me there.”

Kate dropped a pin of her location to you with the text attached telling you to come over at 7pm. 

7pm rolled around and you were already there outside but you kind of felt like you should wait another minute or two so you weren’t RIGHT on time. Or is it weird to be a minute late? But wouldn’t being on time be weirder? Whatever, you decided to just wait a minute and then knock on her door. 

Knocking on her door was the most nerve wracking thing you ever did, you were genuinely shitting bricks. 

“HEY! Come in come in!” Kate eagerly yells at you as she swings the door open. She’s wearing shorts with a bright purple bikini top and a button down Hawaiian shirt over top that doesn’t have a single button done up. Are you starring? Yes. Probably? Absolutely you are. 

“Make yourself at home, feel free to grab a drink from the fridge, my roommates are out of town and left all their alcohol so help yourself.” She said with a laugh. 

You heard that right? Her roommates are out of town. Just the two of you…you never know. 

You grabbed a drink from the fridge and took a seat on the couch next to her and yeah…the drink started going down faster than usual because of all the nerves in your stomach. The two of you made small talk for awhile but the conversation started flowing a little more naturally about 2 drinks in. Were you still kind of awkward as hell? Yeah…a little. But at least you warmed up to her a bit and weren’t acting so weird. About an hour later, her friends showed up and grabbed you guys to head over to the party. Honestly, things were going so well with just the two of you that you didn’t even want to go to this party but if it meant you got to spend more time with her then there you were. You got to the party and you honestly knew practically nobody. You weren’t exactly a social butterfly but Kate clearly was. She was talking to EVERYBODY. The boys at the party especially loved her. There was lots of laughing and flirting going on, you could feel the jealousy building but acting out was definitely not an option. You ended up socialising with a few of the other people at the party but for most of the night you stuck by Kate’s side, the two of you got pretty drunk together, pouring shots for one another and dancing in the pit of people to extremely loud music. There was a point where it felt like it was just you and her and nobody else was there while the music was blasting into your ears and the two of you were jumping together to the beat and singing out the lyrics to whatever song was on at the time. Kate got really close to you until some guy would come and pull her away in an attempt to make a move on her. Although, it never actually happened. Kate always ended up finding her way back to you. At one point she grabbed your hand and pulled you into the middle of the crowd as the two of you sang (screamed) the lyrics to “love story” into each other's faces. The party, as all do, started to simmer down. You guys actually ended up being some of the last people at the party, you stuck around to the point where the music was gone and most people were just sitting around chatting halfway sober. 

“Hey, I think I’m going to go home, I am super tired right now.” Kate says to you. 

“Okay, I’ll walk with you, I left my bag at your place anyways so I have to grab it.” 

“Right, sounds good.” 

Although the two of you had been singing and dancing for hours, she looked just as perfect as when you left and you were trying your hardest not to stare at her while the two of you were walking side-by-side. 

The walk back to her place was pretty quick, when the two of you got inside you went to grab your bag and get your things together. You were desperately trying to figure out what to say to her while you were organising your stuff. You didn’t want to come on too strong but you also want to make sure that she knows you had a good time…I guess just tell her exactly that?

“I had a really good time tonight, thanks again for inviting me.” You say as you’re leaning against the wall in her hallway. 

“Of course, anytime. And I did too. We should really hang out more when we come back to school.” She replies. 

Kate walks towards you and stops about a foot away leaning up against the doorframe to her bedroom. The hallway is super narrow and all you can think about is pinning her against the wall while you kiss down her neck and pull her tight by her waist. 

“Yeah I think so too. I guess I should probably head out.” You say as she looks at you with the softest eyes that you swore said “please stay”. You lingered for a second longer as the two of you were looking at each other, tired, kind of tipsy and on the verge of ripping each other's clothing off. All you wanted was for her to actually ask you to stay a little longer but before she had the chance you were already walking towards the door. 

“Have a good night y/n.” She says. “Text me when you get home safe.”

“I will. Sleep well Kate.” You reply as you turn to look at her with a smile and step out the front door. 

That goodbye felt different. It felt like there were still feelings in the air and lots that wanted to be said that wasn't. It felt like the perfect opportunity with nobody around after an amazing night together has passed but you regret none of it. Although you weren’t able to get a confirmation on whether or not Kate even likes women like you do, you knew there was definitely a type of tension between the two of you that she definitely noticed.

-- END OF PT 1 --

Taglist: @yelenaslyubov @youreatotalposer @jeyramarie @flosbelova @bridgecitybrad @justthis-stuff @chloe7076 @ailenepuff @ravenclawbitch426 @mellowladyangel @amcg0605-blog @kassies-take @yelenaswife1996 @wandanatchick @lilroachsworld @inluvwithfictionalwomen @x666hours @natashaswife4125 @onetruwhore @karmasgxrl @hopelesslyfallenninlove @setsuna1415 @swiftdazer @imobsessedwithmilfss @madamevirgo @louisprettybab @splatalia-jumpanova @jediluka @t00manyfand0ms

[microwavedlion]

guess whooooo ! 🎤🐍

my favorite part of the experience (not really a specific part of tit so not a spoiler for anyone that sees this) was that it just made it so clear how much they love us and each other and it warms my heart that the phandom has come this far and it truly feels like a phamily :))

im sorry to hear about your scholarship ! hopefully you can get it back, and i hope with all of my heart that you can get any resources you need to do whats right for you. im actually taking this semester off doing online courses at a community college in my hometown, but next semester i'll go back to my university and try to pick up where i left off. school isn't for everyone, i'm coming to learn, but unfortunately it feels required 😫

i only started listening to muse maybe 2 months ago at most and they've quickly racked up minutes on my spotify. i wouldn't be surprised if they came out at number 1 despite the odds. i cant believe ive gone like 8 years in the phandom without giving a proper listen to them, besides uprising. i suppose the current fixation is the best i can do to make up for lost time 💪

chinese is so cool omg. ive never tried learning it but from my understanding it's rather complicated. i understand spanish as i grew up with it and with that means mildly understanding other latin based languages, like french. speaking, grammar, conjugation and the like are a different story tho, so hopefully one day i'll lock in and level up my skills and be able to actually say i'm fluent in spanish

i was gonna write something in french but i've quickly realized i know like actually nothing... if i read a meme in french i could probably get it but i have no vocabulary so cheval fromage oui oui baguette i guess 🥖

i am totally a serial killer and im outside your house ready to practice signing with you 🤺

for reasons undisclosed i do think you're onto me 😅 while i'm enjoying the pen-pal-snail-mail we've got going, i'll maybeeeee send a dm soon if i can stop being insane. i haven't talked to new people or made online friends in a really long time and for some reason a part of me feels like i'll be shot on sight for the crime of being mildly annoying lmao

throwing breadcrumbs at your window,

-🐍

that was definitely my favourite part of tit too. i love how much they love us, and that they're no longer afraid to love eachother out loud. it felt so special, like a little secret and a huge family gathering at the same time. i get emotional if i think about how much growth this required. i also got to meet one mutual (hi manda if you're reading this), so that was pretty fun too.

don't worry about my scholarship, thankfully it doesn't make or break uni for me. honestly, i feel like i do have access to the resources i need to be successful i just... can't? i'm too stuck in my head with some things that i don't think i should share publicly. but it makes it really hard to gather the focus or motivation to do any of my work. i'm pretty much staring at my very very manageable pile of things to do and going "fuck, let me think about something i don't even enjoy thinking about instead!" yeah, not very effective. i get what you mean, school really does feel like a necessity. and it feels like a waste to quit it when i've already invested money and time into it. i hope your time with online school has been good to you, i wouldn't mind moving entirely online myself, but i don't really want to move back in with my parents. hopefully things are looking up for you.

i like muse a lot, at least the handful of songs that i've listened to. i think they make excellent use of lyrical and musical tension and are overall just stellar artists. animals reminds me of "the execution of all things" by rilo kiley. not really sure why, but i wonder if you can get what i mean by listening.

it can be complicated, things like the order of strokes you write with matter, so does the exact look of the character, same with small tonal changes per sound that don't exist in english (because it isn't a tonal language). all of that can completely change the meaning of a phrase both in written and spoken chinese, which can be complicated to get a grasp of, especially if you haven't grown up around languages formatted in that way. but an important thing to keep in mind in linguistics is that all languages are equally complex and equally capable of communicating the ideas they need to communicate. i did spend a year learning spanish, but i honestly forgot i did that until my mom reminded me of it. i could probably say 10 words, total, and that's just based on guesses from my knowledge of french. i think you could definitely become fluent in spanish, though. a lot of people have the misconception that language can't be competently acquired past a certain age, but it's really a matter of native-like fluency & acquisition being easier prior to that age. you probably won't be able to speak like a native, but who cares, language is fun and an important bridge between people. you sound like dan in pinof 1 haha. don't serial kill me!

hah, i'm assuming my guess is definitely right then. but i can't lie, i honestly enjoy this snail-mail thing too. it's fun, and i like not having to respond instantly (now i have extra time to panic, score!) the only thing is i'm a little embarrassed that my other followers can read this haha. (hi guys). 😅 but don't worry, you can take all the time you need to get comfortable. i'm not in a rush, i'll be here hunched over my computer until the worms consume my flesh. if you can figure out a way to send snail mail that's a little less public, i'm totally open to ideas. oh and don't stress about annoying me, i really do prefer people who are stereotypically "annoying". i'm pretty bad at keeping up with friendships, i tend to not know when to respond and be pretty dry, which ends up with a lot of my relationships lasting 6 months or less, which is honestly kind of depressing. if i ever do make things awkward or haven't mailed in forever, you're always free to come poke me with a stick.

anyway, sorry for the rambles. politely setting up a heating pad for you

[crguang]

I want to let you know that I actually squealed when I saw that there was a new part of wasted w longing, so that was embarrassing. I giggled so much, love me some domestic fluff, I also gasped so hard at the ending that I started choking. can't believe you updated while I was in class so didn't see it until later.

kafka is so smug I hate her, I want to kiss her on the mouth so bad she's such a weirdo, but at the same time, I'm mad at her, I'll forgive her if she comes home early on my pulls tho, and also some kafka groveling, very excited to see that. also the writing is so good, like at the end I was questing everything about r's encounter's w kafka. and you said replying to someone else's ask that kafka cares atp. wdym atp? istg I love angst but I can't handle angsty endings being w out kafka also you said himeko is going to show up again, and I know that'll be funny. the cliffhangers are killing me, but I'm really excited for the next part, the plot is plotting. also the way at the beginning I literally said out loud, "oh she just got shot, it's okay."

the wanted poster is so funny, like whoever wrote it down must've seen footage of her shooting people as she breaks into somewhere and thought, damn, she is hot as fuck, and tbh that was my thought process when I watched kafka's trailer the first time.

hope your first day at uni was good! if you made me loose my 50/50 I'll---

-🌠

not the squealinggg thats so cute im flattered. it’s funny whenever yall say i post when yall are busy because it’s always 4 to 6 am here i have a horrible sleep schedule 😭 i loved writing the more domestic part cause that’s the first time they actually spend time together without sleeping together and it was kinda cuteee, if you ignore the getting shot part.

“i hate her i wanna kiss her on the mouth shes such a weirdo” is exactly how i feel about kafka im so glad im not alone… also, i meant that at this point of the story kafka already knows that she likes R; she goes out of her way to look out for them, she stares a lot, wants to help them through their dilemma and other stuff that’ll come later. in her mind shes not in love with them but she does like them. i think due to her closed off nature, a lot of the little hints of how she feels are in the way she looks at R and since this is written from R’s (sometimes unreliable) perspective, i mentioned how they can’t read her eyes yet so to them there’s no reciprocation right now. and now that they’re mad at her everything she does will feel disingenuous when it might not be. it’s tricky to write bc as readers i want people to be able to tell that kafka cares even when she’s being a little shit while also staying true to how R sees things. i do think it’ll become much more obvious starting from the next chapter tho cause there will be some grovelling involved lmfaoo.

also this was literally her at the end:

r: i will call the police on you.

kafka: i am so attracted to you right now

its funny, R is always making themself available for her and has been doing that from the beginning so kafka’s very used to this behavior and its the reason why she’s so fucking smug. but now she’s seeing a new side to them that she really likes. they’re standing up for themself and i think it’s a quality that she’d find really attractive in a person. but yeah it’s fun i love this series mainly because the idea mostly came from anons so i love hearing what yall think about it.

my first day at uni was nice!! im looking to getting my shit together honestly, i feel like an actual adult now so hopefully it helps with my mood as well and makes it easier for me to be productive cause i dont write fast at all. if you lose the 50/50 bc of me i’ll write whatever you want as consolation prize

[jinnify]

mixtape: on track – chapter one. when eyes meet 📝

synopsis. new girl yn had felt the need to stay under the radar ever since she arrived at yonsei uni. the last thing she needed at the start of a new semester was drama. that was until she met minho, and hyunjin had a problem with it.

“hello, my beautiful love!” you heard from down the hallway, yunjin making her presence known not just to you, but to the entire hall. you laughed as she draped her arms around you, hugging you tightly, “hi, my jinnie.” “jeez, can you guys just date already?” you heard jeongin complain from behind you two, making you spin around in yunjin’s arms, hugging her properly. “what do you losers want from me?” you ask, making eye contact with jeongin specifically. “woah? does anyone else feel targeted right now?” 

“we’re just passing by,” you heard a soft voice from behind your locker, hyunjin. “oh. okay,” at this point, you had known hyunjin and the rest of your friends for two months. you were able to get along with everyone and even got comfortable enough to make fun of each other, but there was something about hyunjin that prevented you from being able to do that with him. 

you were sure he was a nice guy. after all he was friends with yunjin, felix, seungmin and jeongin like you were, and they were all sweethearts! well, jeongin and seungmin are less so, but still! those boys wouldn’t hang out with anyone who was an asshole, you hoped. you often caught yourself not being able to look him in the eyes, or otherwise, you felt like you might explode from his gaze alone. this time was the exact same, you only gazed at his lips as a form of acknowledgment. maybe that was another reason you couldn’t look hyunjin in the eye, the man looked like he should be a model!

“we’re on our way to drama club-” “you should come with!” yunjin loudly interrupted seungmin. that boy had the patience of a monk. “i wish i could, guys, but i have a class in about fifteen minutes,” you declined as you checked your wristwatch, “if you guys are still there when i get out, i might swing by?” 

“sounds great, love!” yunjin exclaimed as she hugged you again, “okay, i have to go to the restroom real quick. you guys walk her to class, and then we can go!” you looked between the three men around you, shrugging your shoulders before starting on your way to class, “i appreciate it you guys, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 

“are you sure?” jeongin and seungmin asked. you simply nodded and turned back around, “sure, i don’t want to keep you guys from yunjin and whatever you guys are doing,” you said with a small smile. as much as you really did appreciate it, you still didn’t want to make the boys uncomfortable by making them do things like walk you to your class. “fine,” jeongin said before seungmin started, “we’ll see you later, right?” you chuckled, “i’ll try! if you guys aren’t there when i get out we can always go out for dinner.”

before you had made it halfway down your hall, you turned back, making sure that the boys had left on their way to drama club. you felt your eyes slightly widen as you made eye contact with hyunjin, who was leaning up against the wall, watching you as you walked to class.

m:ot. – ch. 001

previous | masterlist | next

✉️ notes from nia

we're finally back!! im so excited to be working in this ^^ hopefully this time i can enjoy it also small side note in the first screenshot yn replies with "dm!"

taglist. open

@https-skzology

[starjxsung]

brb lemme book a flight so i can come to the u.s and do your nails 🫡🛩️

also omg life update ig butttt ive always dwelled on the fact that im taking an extra year at uni so im there for 5 years instead of 4. when the winter sem ended i went back to the doc where i tracked the credits/coures and other program requirements i had done–and the way i was shocked and had to double check if i was correct with how i was tracking my uni progress cos after this summer sem of taking 3 courses is completed, i'll have 5 courses left of my uni career for the coming fall+winter sem.

so if all goes well then at the end of the winter 2025 sem, i would have completed all my uni degree course requirements so i can apply for graduation. i'll (hopefully) be a uni graduate next year!!

going back to the whole dwelling thing, i focused more on how long i had already been at the school and i was completely blind to the fact that i'm almost done. i was completely blind to the progress i was making, too focused on the past instead of the future ig

but like holy shit i didn't realize i was almost done my uni career and it blew my mind when i did that tracking and rechecked and realized that i really am almost done.

since that whole realization, i've been thinking of what i'm gonna be doing after i graduate and it's still a big ?? but i do know im not going to grad school or anything, my time at uni just further cements the fact that school and i don't mix, i can't sit down and study for hours on end, so going to grad school would just be a waste of time and money. at the same time it'll be the first time where i wont have that school routine of attending class and doing homework which has also got me wondering how my days are gonna look once ive graduated. so ive been thinking about adulting recently and its quite daunting and scary so i try to save those thoughts for when im in my therapy appointments.

but that's my little life update, 🌸 anon is gonna be a uni graduate soon!!!! ~🌸

UNI GRADUATE NEXT YEAR LET’S GOOOOOOOOO IM SO EXCITED OJ MY GODDDMDKDKDJDK

I took 5 years too because so many of my course requirements shifted around when covid hit and everything was virtual. But no shame in it!!!! It was def something I dwelled on when I first realized I was going to be taking a little longer to graduate but now I look back and I’m like whooo cares the important thing is that eventually I graduated ! Completely feel you on missing sight of the fact that you WILL be graduating eventually and you’re so close to it, too! You should be so so so proud of yourself and I’M so so so proud of you!!!!

post-uni life is veryyyyy scary when you first approach it, but it’s so refreshing at the same time. It’s such a good period of time to just learn about yourself and figure out what it is that you want from your life and from your degree. There’s so many opportunities you have with a fresh degree and so much more time to just have fun and meet people and embrace adulthood for the first time without the barrier of school. Definitely scope out what you can do with your degree but remember it’s also a great time to do things for yourself and be happy. Don’t forget you’re just a human being at the end of the day and we’re all trying to make it here ❤️

I love you! And I’m beyond proud of you!!!!! Go get em 🫶💓💘💕💗🩷👼

[malevolantkitcheen]

halloo!! halloo!! hhiiii!! helloooo xDDD !! HOW R U??? R U DOING OK?? Hopefully u are!!! >_< i apologize in advance if my writing is incoherent, i js got home from uni, im tired asl.. :P u can do sfw w a mix of nsfw ffirst of allll things since i heard ur doing matchups for jjk heres some stuf abt me :DDD im andre, ppl usually call me ray ray though im a guy.. (shocker) i like guys too (shocker) as for what i look like im 5'3 (i know), im somewhat chubby? idk how to describe it, its like ur normal but u have some squish and fat on u ykwim. one thing i like about myself is that ive got an hourglass figure :D I like my curves even if im a guy if that makes sense. im like a semi tan. i grew my hair out, neck length. layered, looks like a.. uh.. an overgrown wolf cut. my bangs look like twilight sparkle's lmao. anyways, i always liked wearing feminine things, sometimes i can be masculine, js sometimes. i put on makeup MOST OF THE TIMEEE. my wardrobe is filled with mini skirts and rhinestone belts and all that cool stuff. i like dressing up ok..

as for my personality im an infp. but to go deeper into it.. i like people, i js dk how to make friends, its so bad that i dont even have online friends.... butttt my 2 friends often describe me as a ray of sunshine :33 probably why they call me ray ray. i care a lot for my friends.. i rarely get mad.. i like everyone!!! js not my parents. i have daddy and mommy issues (shocker). i like yapping too, i talk a lotttt about my interests. IM A HUGE NERD WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT I LIKE. i can talk about it for hours and hours without my mouth feelin dry. i like music too. i listen to brutal death metal, and vocaloid >_< thats all really... hav a greatttt dayyyyyy!!!!!!

Good afternoon lovely, I hope you’re doing good! I’m doing okay :3 (also, great music taste 🙏)

For Jujutsu-Kaisen, I match you with….

Kento Nanami

- Nanami first noticed you at a passing glance, whilst you were sat having coffee with your friends. You were deep in conversation and were very visibly extremely interested in what you were talking about. He didn’t really recognise you so he just assumed that you had just moved into the city; he was pretty good at recognising and observing people. There was just something about you that intrigued him, something that drew him in. Of course he couldn’t just stray away from his routine due to him working but he planned on coming back the next day, in hopes that you would be there again. He was desperate even just to share a glance with you. Anything would suffice.

- The next morning on the way into the city, Nanami ensured that he passed that same coffee shop, and as hoped, there you were, once again conversing with your friends, the sun beaming down onto you. It highlighted every detail, every angle, every crease from your smile on your face. Nanami couldn’t help but stare, blushing as he did so. Only this time, you could feel someones eyes on you, causing you to turn to meet his eyes. You gave him a sweet smile, causing him to quickly turn away and carry on with his walk. You couldn’t help but think about this all day; who was he and why hadn’t you seen him before?

- This exchange continued to happen for the next couple of days until he finally mustered the courage to actually come and speak to you. You were in the queue, about to pay for you drink when you turned to see Nanami stood beside you: “We’ll also take a small black coffee with that”. Before you can even utter another word he had already paid. Of course you thanked him but you were a little set back by the whole situation as you weren’t expecting it. You weren’t complaining that you finally got to be around him, you just didn’t think that you would actually see the day.

- Nanami couldn’t help but glance from your eyes to your lips as the two of you spoke, his mind continuously wandering. You noticed it of course, never failing to fluster each and every time, just hoping that it would become more than just a glance, causing you to stutter every time you opened your mouth. “Something wrong hm?” , he says smiling to himself.

[notevenagoodgirl]

‘hey there!’- changbin x reader

[stray kids au]

61. [Ask me anything]

Putting three exchange students together, in the same flat, might be a bad idea; putting six of them in the same building might be an even worse one. What happens when they all meet? An AU about people from all over the world finding home in each other.

[ skz masterlist | all works ]

.

Sorry everyone for being m.i.a again, uni is kicking my ass but hopefully ill be back to posting this week tops!! Also, this au is coming to an end soon, im just gonna do a few more parts as to not leave it finished abruptly after changbin and luci's confession to one another, but i think the plot is probably done!! Its just loose ties that im fixing now <3 (dont worry though, i already have a next au to write in the works!!)

taglist: @fylithia@3racha-soup@3sriracha@whats-my-question@elfenfeuer33@randomness7198@sunnibearr@zacsani-blog@curlytxe

[gomzdrawfr]

omg so happy to see ur ask is open again!!

I always wanted to know what's it like whenever you draw something? be it oc or ghoap

love you 😍

Im assuming you mean my thought process? Hopefully? (U can send another ask if it’s not)

I dont have a good flow with things bcuz im really chaotic with stuff but i hope u can somewhat get what im saying

Idea

Most of what I doodled are based on my own experiences, or from other people, sometimes they come to me unprompted

I think lately it depends on my moods as well! Which can be seen when I had an angst period lmfaooo

Honestly, reading poems helps too, I read them and go “yep this is ghoap”

Seeing other people’s art also sparks some ideas, like timelapse videos

Using said idea

So when i get an idea i either scribble it down or scream it to my friend, it doesn’t matter if im going to actually draw the prompt or not as long as i pour it out my head, it helps to visualize things and also make me go, “nwm this was better in my head but hey at least i know now”

Honestly though, 90% of the time once i have an idea i draw it immediately if i can

Im someone who’s very much dependent on vibes, so if the vibes are off i cant draw for shit(bad habit, im aware)

Like “having an idea of Ghost and Soap scuba diving at night, then i try to draw it next day in the morning and i just cant get it right” for example XD

Finalizing

Now i dont do linearts, or like, any thorough clean up when i post for fun, as long as it looks okay its fine, which gives a few problems:

1. Noticing i miss something after posting it

2. Realising that i forgot my signature

3. Mistakes, lots of it pft

I do have a check list before I post which i stick it on my laptop, like Ghost’s tattoo or Soap’s chin scar for example

I think what helps other than adopting the habit to check is if i posted the images into discord first, idk why but it works?! Like you could’ve checked everything when it was in the canvas and exported it, yet somehow some mistakes just flies passed your eyes until u post it somewhere else

Also im always on the move and rushing with uni and life, so i don’t really pay attention to a lot of things and just accept my doodles as it is, and that’s why it’s tagged as such, doodles

They’re not meant to be perfect, they’re just scribbles, which honestly shocks me how much people like them :) 💕

Extra: Commissions work

Same kind of flow except i work with prompts already given to me, though they’re more careful and requires more time and attention to work them through, and obvs the final check-ins are crucial too with every pixels double, triple checked xD

Lastly, love you too, i hope this isn’t messy to read

[werebutch]

certified major loser here‼️im 20, been in college since i was 15, should have a bachelors degree already and very much do not, we rockin w an AA and technical program. i’ve dropped out like three times 💪 im not sure what college situation you’d be in (community vs uni, state vs private) but honestly the biggest things i’ve learned from trying and failing a LOT is that… it’s all chill. everyone’s at least a little scared and confused, mistakes are part of the learning experience, not knowing smth or asking a question doesn’t result in a duolingo bird level instakill (idk if that even made sense). there’s more of a sense of community than not because we’re all pretty much in the same boat. a lot of profs are nerds about what they teach and want you to know about it very very badly bc of that (i.e., ask questions. all of them. any that pop into ur head). i wrote a paper about Lil Nas X for cultural anthropology and my prof remembered me two years later. there is an incredible amt of freedom: with most general degrees, you can take whatEVER the FUCK u want roughly whenever the fuck you want so long as it falls into natural science, math, social sciences/humanities, or phys ed. you are more than allowed to drop a class, change your major, take more or less credits than expected, graduate a term early or late, pretty much anything. go ham. like 80% of my elective credits by choice were biology classes. queer lit was a baller time and counted for english cred. i’m gonna wrap this up bc it’s so long— don’t take anything before 9am (you’ll suffer), check the credit requirements early on so u have a vague idea of what to take, ASK FOR HELP WHEN U NEED IT whether it be a prof or advising services or the damn cashier’s office, expect to walk a fucking shit ton if it’s a larger campus, CHECK RATEMYPROFESSORS, enroll as soon as classes open, do NOT shirk your language classes if you didn’t take them in highschool, for the love of god bro don’t take more than a full time course load (15 credits at most institutions). yes, you could probably do it alright, but that is the DEVIL TALKING saying you’ll be fine. sorry this so long but i’ve been doing this so long i have so much to say. if u want more specific advice just say and i’ll be back‼️—local professional loser idiot with no bitches, no money, and a toy car collection

Hi sorry I read this, was comforted, and then didn’t respond..SO SORRY.. I’m doing community but I plan to transfer after 😸 I will probably end up taking a lot of biology and hopefully I’ll get an art class in next year.. right now I only have 4 classes in total cause I tend to be a bad student and I wanna feel it out. LMAO. I’m mostly scared about doing really bad and not being able to keep up with assignments but the only one who can truly help with that is myself SO WE WILL SEE. I’ll try my best. Cause seriously I have no idea what I’ll do if I dont.. thank u for this btw I hope you’re doing well 😸♥️

[small-doodle-ist]

Sometimes I think about the fact that I totally COULD do like ~ spicy fanart and have real fun with it or do other actual good art. Or at least decent stuff id be proud of. I totally could because there are a few things I managed to do over the years that show me I HAVE the ability. But I am simply so stressed and exhausted with existence ever since I started studying that I just don’t have the energy for that. Good thing is I have my masters degree now and im officially done and out of uni. But trying to find a job is super duper exhausting and scary for my socially anxious ass as well! Who would have thought! So now - when I actually would have time - compared when I hopefully do find a job and have no more free time much - I can’t do art because I spend all my days procrastinating applying to places (I did apply already but going on keeps being scary as hell).

I don’t know why I post this lol, it’s not like anyone reads this stuff here 😂 but I feel like I have to say it. Somewhere where people will maybe understand. Or have the same struggle. I know it’s actually not that uncommon to be so exhausted by these tasks. Really, social anxiety is such a bitch. Like I don’t even have problems with normal social interaction, it just comes up with carrier and academia and paralyzes me with fear out of the blue. Thanks dad. You gave me so many tools for life! To fail at all the basic tasks! While constantly feeling like crying and puking for months. So cool. Raised me really good yes yes I’m so well behaved (paralyzed by fear).

Sorry for the rant I’m just so sad and angry that I can’t seem to get a hold of my life. I just want to have a stable life consisting of a small flat, a job and some friends. Why is it so hard for me? Like I want to work at that one hospital lab but I’m soooo scared of the job interview? And I am scared that they will call instead of mail and I’ll be stupid on the phone because if someone calls me who is authority I suddenly forget how talking works.

And I tell myself, and I KNOW, it doenst really matter? I’m gonna fail the first few interviews anyway. And I don’t care, I’ll learn, and get better at it. This is what my brain thinks. Because in reality, after whatever event I f up, I usually don’t really care for longer than a day. I tell people, laugh at myself, done. And yet, beforehand, I need to panick for weeks and months. Whyyyyy. It’s just not fair I want this to be gone! I swear, I’m sooo competent and hard working and all that. I just f up small talk. God, why is this irrelevant shit always the most important thing for them. Like ohhh tHe FiRsT iMprEsSiOn! sELL yOuRSeLf! SaY tHe RiGhT ThiNgS! ??? Fu! I can’t even say the right things to the cashier when I buy groceries (although here I don’t have a care in the world) but how am I supposed to manage it in such an important situation!!!

Ah sorry again. Rant.

PS: if anyone reads this and related. Please let me know. You would make me feel like … 1000% better.

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Beuh I just put two and two together.

I hate benadryl. I do

And for that.. I will be pouring water into the rest of the pills I have on me annd wiping my hands of that whole disaster. Jesus it's getting on my nerves. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.

It's gross. The taste is nasty, the side effects fucking suck, and I withdraw HORRIBLY. My eyes get red and puffy, nose gets red, I'm just constantly hot, I risk throwing up just by having an empty stomach, I get so moody, I stress so hard about it I now dissociate when I take em, my memory is worse, its harder to form a sentence

I cant take it anymore. I'd rather look like a horrible, shitty person that does literally nothing and absolutely HATE myself for it too than ever go back. Im done

It was a long and hard journey and I find it a bit ironic that it took me smoking weed to stop afterall

Ever since my attempt I just.. cant. I'm so grateful that I finally found some strong shit to replace that feeling. I'm wondering if im starting a problem with constantly needing to smoke tbh. But seriously... not having to worry about my fucking liver health and ulcers has been a forgotten blessing

I still hate the people of the r/dph subreddit. I swear it is the most useless place in the world. Not only do you rarely get anything but people talking about the hallucinative aspect of the shit but you ALSOO get shamed and sneered at when you actively have a problem. It's the stupidest shit I've ever seen. I felt so lost throughout all this. Slowly learning the dos and donts of this stupid substance was a process I wish I didn't go through

Anyway yeah. Fuck dph I'm tired of dealing with the effects. I don't even like the high anymore everytime I get on it as of lately I've just get mad and hurt myself with it. That's fucking all. And I'm tired of hurting myself. Shit is old

Annnd I'm gonna keep my head straight from here on hopefully. I don't really want to kill myself now that I see it's really the leftover benadryl talking. I uh... don't really want to go back to my old job.. so I'll be applying to some irl places instead. Hopefully that'll encourage to stop smoking so damn much as well. I'm going to call into sallie Mae snd hopefully get another deferment and my uni debt I'll be able to skate by this month but from here on I'll keep up with that better

I'll upload proof this time since I'm finally giving up my strict anonymity thing. Probably tomorrow.. I'm exhausted.

God uh for one, I already semi knew I'd be okay THE DAY I QUIT and I put in so many applications. I even got a response back.. but my dumbass was so hellbent on ending my shit I not only didn't call em back, I blocked they number so they couldn't try to do any followup. Stupid shit 😭

I think I'm glad I did it though. I wanna do something completely different this time and I applied to all office jobs. I know I'd run into the same issue if I do some more work from home officey/customer service shit rn

And hopefully... if nothing else.. I can save the money to make the appointments to get diagnosed. If I can manage just keeping a job for longer than 2 weeks, I'll make enough money to pay off my debts with no problem.

I dont want to smoke, I don't want to play anything, I don't really wanna play or watch anything anymore, I just want to be sad and get some money to get myself fixed atp

Anyways L. I feel dumb ah. I'm ready to move on

[illfoandillfie]

A Different Kind of Eduation: D Is For Double Penetration (Chapter 11)

ADKoE MASTERLIST 

Pairing: Professor!Roger Taylor x Fem!Reader

Series Summary: After being broken up with for not being kinky enough, Reader seeks out her professor to give her some private tutoring so she can win her boyfriend back.

Chapter Summary: Roger's kink lessons continue with a quick exploration of a few different topics.

Warnings: Modern AU, smut (18+), slow burn romance, dom/sub dynamics, dom!roger and sub!reader, professor x student sex, dialogue heavy, biting, hair pulling, nipple clamps, spanking/slapping, discussion of choking (though none occurs in the smut), anal sex, double penetration, light degradation (use of whore/etc), some discussion of dom!reader x sub!roger, sex toy (dildo)

Words: 11,699

A/N: boy howdy it's been a little while huh. Anyway, I'm still working on this series, it's just taking longer than anyone expected fjskfjskfs. Hopefully I can have the next part up a little quicker but 🤷‍♀️ who knows.

As always *** indicates the smut scene though there is a little bit of a demonstation of the nipple clamps and biting before the smut, during the theory part of the lesson.

Taglist: @labessieisallama​ @deakyclicks​ @jennyggggrrr​ @drowseoftaylor​​ @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely​ @ilovequeenmorethanyou​ @johndeaconshands​ @borhapbois​ @stardust-galaxies​ @cherries-n-rocknroll​ @rogersslave​ @scorpiogemini

@80s-roger @libsterslobsters @okilover02 @cjand10 @dealorgirl32 @youngpastafanmug @onceuponadetectivedemigod @zeida​ @demo-wise​ @yuillfandomqueen @tie-ur-mother-down​

It wasn’t until you were back home that you began to feel weird about the oral sex Roger had encouraged you to try. You sat at your desk, laptop closed in front of you, and stared into space thinking. You weren’t really sure how to feel about it. It hadn’t been bad but part of you wished you had enjoyed it more, enjoyed it as much as you usually enjoyed what Roger did to you. But then when you thought about it more, you couldn’t help but feel worse that you’d wanted to enjoy it when you’d never really enjoyed it with Dylan. He was the whole reason for your lessons with Roger. If you enjoyed oral sex with anyone it should be him, so maybe it was for the best you’d not loved it from Roger. The conflicting emotions swirled around your head so, in an attempt to distract yourself from how it felt, you opened your laptop to go through the notes you’d taken. Afterall facts were facts no matter who had gone down on you. Plus, it was something of a ritual you had anyway – tidying up the hurried notes you took in class, highlighting things that would be of particular use or that you needed to focus on in your revisions. At first it was something you just did for your uni classes but since the tutoring with Roger had included so much note taking, you’d found the habit useful after those lessons too. The only problem was that you couldn’t seem to find the page of notes. At first you were just confused, checking you hadn't accidentally saved them in the wrong folder but, as you thought about it, it slowly dawned on you that you’d not made any during the lesson. And that made you panic. Without the notes there was nothing to prove it was a lesson. And that was the whole agreement you and Roger had come to – he would lecture you on safe BDSM practices and you would make notes and then do the practical part of the lesson. But if you didn’t take notes then was it really a lesson or were you just sleeping with your professor? A small distinction perhaps but it felt huge in that moment.  

You let the panic wrap you up for a minute, eyes out of focus as you stared at the screen. Of course, the first time you’d done a lesson on oral sex you’d not made many notes. Roger had said it wasn’t an easy area to do theory on because you knew about it already so by that logic the receiving side of oral should be the same. You let out a thoughtful hum. Perhaps if you’d been doing straight face sitting, without the stool, Roger would have spent more time talking about the safety side of it and you’d have been able to take notes. He had talked about blindfolds a bit, but you’d sprung that on him and he probably had more detailed information that circumstances didn’t let him get to. Perhaps he’d retroactively teach you about blindfolds in another lesson, or maybe the next time you had your period and weren’t up for doing practical lessons, you could ask him to go over it again so you could take notes. The more you rationalised it the less of a big deal it seemed. So by the time you were ready to go sleep you could barely remember why you’d been panicking at all. And by the time your next tutoring session rolled around you were quite excited.  

You glanced at the curriculum before you drove to Roger’s house, but the previous week’s surprise lesson had thrown the plan out of sync, and you weren’t sure what Roger would cover – whether he’d abbreviate or skip what was meant to happen the week before or if he’d stick to his plan only a week out. You’d intended to ask once you arrived at his door but he’d distracted you with an odd demeanour. He was all friendly banter and loud laughter like normal but it was almost too much, like he was overcompensating for something. You might have been left to wonder what had happened except that one of the first things he thought to ask was whether or not you’d remembered your laptop. And then he’d asked again halfway through dinner, as if to double check. You suspected he was as thrown by the lack of notes taken the previous week as you’d initially been and determined to take twice as many this week to put him at ease. So, when you did finally move to his study, you’d already begun pulling your laptop from your bag before he could remind you to. He smiled at that and seemed to relax, tension falling from his shoulder as he picked up a whiteboard marker.  

“So what are we doing this week, Roger? I had a look at the curriculum but I wasn’t sure what your plan would be since last week was so....off book.”  He let out an amused breath through his nose, “Well, my original plan was to start something last week and continue it in this week’s lesson but I think we should be okay to do it all in one hit. I want to go through a few smaller things with you. Things that often wouldn’t be the focus on a scene but can be used to enhance one in conjunction with bigger things like bondage and impact play.”  “Like what?” you asked, curiously.   Roger started writing things on the whiteboard as he spoke, “I want to cover biting, nipple play, hair pulling, and breath play.” He hesitated for a moment and turned back to you, “There's one other thing. It’s not quite the same as the others but I’d like to at least talk about even if you don’t want to include it in the prac.”  You waited a beat, leaning forward in your seat.  “Double penetration.”  “Oh! I know what that is!”  Roger blinked, surprised by your outburst, and then laughed, “Well that’s half my work done for me.”  You laughed too, sinking back into your seat.  “I know I just said these things aren’t likely to be the focus of a scene but double penetration, or DP, can be. And I was thinking our prac could experiment with DP and use the other things we cover to enhance the experience for you. Plus I think it’s a small enough topic, since it’s really just combinations of other sorts of penetration, that we can cover it alongside the other things.”  “Okay, if you think we can get through it all then I’m up for it.”  “Let’s start then, with something easy. Something we’ve already tried a little of. Nipple play.” 

You were halfway through writing the heading when you paused to ask a question, “Isn’t nipple play just like....playing with nipples?”  “Very astute,”  “You know what I mean,” you said with a small eyeroll, “How much theory can we go into when it’s just touching nipples. We’ve done that just as part of foreplay or wrapped up in other kinks.”  “That is a fair point,” Roger conceded, “I suppose a more accurate title for this part of our lesson is nipple clamps.”  Your eyes widened but you edited the document without a word.   “So, we’ve talked about how pain can cause pleasure for some people, and we’ve played with that idea in regard to impact play and bondage. Clamps are related to that sort of area of BDSM, especially the bondage stuff. I'm sure you’ve heard of them before.”  “Yes but I’ve not tried them.”  “That’s probably not a bad thing because they’re one of those BDSM things people assume are a lot less dangerous than they really can be. But first lets clarify one point. There’s a couple of different things people can mean when they talk about clamps. The one a lot of BDSM beginners are familiar with is the clothespin, the same sort you hang laundry up on a line with. Typically wooden, very cheap, easy to get a hold of. On the next tier, if you’re willing to spend a little more, there are alligator clips that you can buy from sex stores. Those are worth the money because they’re usually adjustable so you can change how tight the squeeze on the nipple is. And a lot of brands put silicone or plastic “caps” over the points of the clip to make them a little less uncomfortable.”  “Isn’t discomfort the point?”  “Yes but you don’t want to much discomfort or things stop being sexy and just start being the bad kind of painful.”  “Okay, so clothespins and alligator clips. Any others?”  “Well next is what we call tweezer clamps. I’ve got an example of those.” Roger dug into his pocket and pulled out two thin metal objects.   You held out your hand and Roger dropped them into your palm so you could get a closer look. They were small and had a tweezer shape except there was a bar across the middle connecting the two arms together and each arm was capped off with a purple silicone bit.   “These are good for beginners because they’re generally a little gentler than the other sorts. More of a squeezing sensation although they can feel a bit pinchy too. Easy to adjust – you just move that bar closer to the purple ends to make it tighter. And these ones have cute little heart shaped charms dangling from the end which is always a plus.” He paused so you’d have enough time for his humour to sink in. “These are the ones we’ll be using if you do want to try them. But theres two other types. Magnetic, which are little balls that, like the name suggests, uses magnets to attach to each side of the nipple, and clover. Clovers tend to be used more in hardcore pain play, torture scenes and that sort of thing. They have a spring hinge which keeps them in place but also causes a very intense pain sensation.”  “But we’ll just be sticking with the easy ones?”  “Yes. Would you like to give one a go now? You know I like to demonstrate during our theory.”  “Okay,” you said, curious about the new toy. Besides, it was better to figure out now if you liked them than halfway through the prac scene when it came to that.   “You’ll need to, um, expose yourself. Just a little.”  You quickly took off your bra from under your shirt, setting it down on the desk beside you.  Roger moved around the desk to better reach you and then asked you to stand so he wouldn’t have to bend over.  “Here, hold this up,” he said softly, pushing your shirt up so he could see your breasts. You watched him more than what he was doing, caught him smiling as he looked at your chest.   “They really are very nice tits,” he said softly, cupping them gently.  You pressed your chest out further, the compliment making you feel all tingly and warm.  Roger cleared his throat as he moved to play with your breasts, drawing his thumb over one areola. “Gotta make sure the nipple is hard enough.”  “Of course.”  “Actually...”  Surprised laughter bubbled up in your throat as Roger leaned forward and took the nipple between his lips, swirling his tongue around it. His hand wrapped around your back to keep you steady and close as he worked on stiffening the nipple, licking and sucking at it. You melted into him, not getting an abundance of pleasure from his actions but enough to make you feel light and happy. It was almost disappointing when he stopped, wiping away some of the excess saliva with his fingers.  

“Right, now that it’s hard,” Roger said, valiantly trying to find his professor voice again, “here’s how you put a clamp on. First off, you’ll notice these tweezer clamps have long arms and the dangly bit on the end so you want them hanging down. Different sorts attach differently and may point up or to the side but these ones should point down. So hold the silicon tips under the nipple and move them up until they fit on either side. Everyone’s nipples are different though, so some people find this easier than others. Spit can help just to slick things up.”  It felt a little odd as Roger eased the clamp into place but only because he had to jiggle it around a little to get both sides comfortably in place.   “And then, once it’s situated, push the middle bar up. That’ll tighten the clamp which means it shouldn’t fall off even with some movement. Tell me if it gets too painful though.”  You nodded, watching as Roger adjusted it. As the bar rose higher the squeeze of the clamp got more pronounced and you had to stop him when it was roughly halfway up, the sensation verging on a tight pinching.  “Good girl,” he said, brushing some of your hair back, “How do you like it?”  “It’s kinda strange but not bad. Feels...tight. Not sure it’s all that arousing yet though.”  Roger chuckled, “No, well, as I said clamps are mostly used to enhance other kinks or even just otherwise vanilla sex. You’ll feel more the longer they’re on.”  “Do I get to put one on you? Or is this a chicks only thing?”  “Oh you definitely get to put one on me.”  You giggled as Roger handed you the second clamp and lifted his shirt up.   “Fun fact, Me-” his voice cracked and his breath stuttered as you leaned in to replicate the attention he’d paid you, pressing your tongue to his nipple.   “Go on, what's the fun fact?” you said, pulling away just enough to be able to speak before licking at him again.  “Uh, um, well, some women can actually achieve orgasm through nipple stimulation,” he paused again when you hummed in agreement, “b-but actually it’s entirely possible for men to- to, uh, do the same.”  “Very fun fact,” you giggled, moving back again, “I think it’s hard enough now.”  “Yes,” Roger shifted, briefly palming himself though he tried to be subtle about it, “I think so.”  You smiled to yourself as you lined the clamp up with his nipple, “like this?”  “Yeah, just like that. Now tighten it. Tighter. Y/N, this is not my first time with clamps, tighten it more.”  “Alright, alright,” you said, pushing the bar higher.   Roger told you to stop when it was close to the top of the arms, virtually right under his nipple.  You flicked the little dangly charm which made Roger breath in sharply, “it suits you.”  “My old mistress said the same thing.” 

Roger dropped his shirt and you did too, noticing that the clamped nipple was more sensitive, the fabric brushing against it enough to send a shiver down your spine.   “Some safety stuff and then a couple other points I want to quickly mention and then we’ll take them off. So firstly, clamps are not designed to be left on for more than eight to fifteen minutes depending on the type and the person’s anatomy. I tend to err on the shorter side as well, just to be safe”  “What happens if they’re on too long?”  “Well, for one thing, the longer they’re on the more painful they can become. But, more seriously, because they’re applying a lot of pressure to a very small area you run the risk of losing sensation in the nipple entirely or even causing nerve or tissue damage. Which is why I said they’re more dangerous than a lot of people believe.” He let you finish typing those notes before he said, “Now a couple other things just to be aware of in regard to nipple play. Some clamps you can buy will come on a Y shaped chain that has a third clamp designed for a woman’s clitoris. It’s exactly the same as clamping your nipples but probably a bit more sensitive. And definitely don’t leave it on for extended periods of time. There's also a toy called a nipple sucker which works similarly to a clamp but it doesn’t have direct contact with the nipple, it goes over it and makes a seal around the nipple which draws circulation to the area and makes it extra sensitive. It’s a somewhat gentle alternative if the pain of a clamp is too much, and in fact I find they can work a little better since they can also encompass the areola which is actually more sensitive than the nipple itself.” He paused, “I think that’s everything I had on nipple play accessories. Obviously you can use things like feather ticklers and bullet vibes and all sorts of things as well, but the clamps were what I wanted to focus on. So why don’t we take these off and then we can move on to biting.”  You nodded and Roger walked you through removing the clamp. Even just sliding the bar further down the arms made your breath catch as blood rushed towards the newly freed nipple.  Roger hissed as he removed his clamp too, “Feels good right?”  “Yeah,” you said softly, although the sensation was already beginning to subside.  “Wasn’t expecting that to give me a semi but I guess we’re both learning things today,” Roger said thoughtfully, but before you could do more than giggle he said, “Let’s move on so we can get to the prac. Biting.” 

“How much can you really teach me about biting?” you asked. It seemed like it barely registered as a kink.   “Well, I did intend for all of these to be somewhat brief.” Roger gave you a look over his glasses before pushing them further up his nose, “So officially it’s called Odaxelagnia. And it does count as a form of sadomasochism, albeit a mild one.”   “Really?”  “Absolutely,” Roger said seriously, pushing his glasses further up his nose, “Biting can range from light nips through to skin piercing chomps. In fact, there's a whole chapter about it in the karma sutra which lists eight different styles of biting.”  “Eight?!” You exclaimed, surprised, “Isn’t it all just skin between teeth? How can there be so many different types?”  “Well, some of the differences account for pressure or how firmly you press into the skin. That’s the difference between softening a bite with your lip or using both jaws to press hard. And then some of them are things like scoring or dragging teeth along skin or creating a hickey. I’ve added a PDF of the relevant Karma Sutra pages to our files but what I really want to focus on for the moment is the safety aspects. I’d say there are less risks involved with biting than some of the previous areas of kink we’ve looked at, but there's a few things to be mindful of. Any guesses?”  You thought for a moment. Biting wasn’t something you’d ever really considered the safety aspects of and the only thing related to biting you could think of was the marks left behind. You weren’t sure it was what Roger was referring to but you suggested it anyway, if a bit haltingly.   “Trust yourself more, Y/N, marking is definitely important to consider.”  You smiled, feeling a little proud of yourself.  “Marking can be a big part of why people enjoy biting. It can be a way of conveying affection or even ownership if that possessive dynamic is a turn on. But not everyone likes being marked and sometimes even if they do, they have obligations that dictate where they can be marked. It might be they have to work the next day and their uniform doesn’t cover an area, or they might have a massage or gynaecologist appointment booked in and they don’t want to deal with the awkwardness of having a big bite mark on them. Human teeth marks are very distinct, recognisable, and hard to explain. I know you were okay with other marks but would you be okay with bite marks?”  “Yeah, absolutely. Although I'd prefer them to be easy to hide.”  “Luckily a lot of the best places to bite are easy to cover up with clothing.”  “Is this like spanking where there are parts of the body that are safer to hit than others?”  “Yeah, it is. Basically you’re looking for anything fleshy that’s not too close to vitals – arse cheeks, stomach, biceps, thighs, breasts.”  “But isn’t neck biting like, super common?”  “Absolutely. But I’d put it in the slightly more risky category. Places like wrists and back of hands, genitals and nipples, lips, tongues, earlobes, and yes, neck. Basically they’re still quite common places to use your teeth but you want a bit of a softer bite because there's less fatty tissue in those places to protect you as much. Shoulders are another place good for biting but you want to aim for the meaty areas and not where the bone is sitting.”   “Huh,” you said, fingers fast against the keys, trying to get down everything he’d listed when you paused, an idea occurring to you, “Is there a difference between inner and outer thighs? Because the inner thighs are more sensitive so it stands to reason you’d need to be more careful with them.”  “That’s a good point. I think the insides of the arms and thighs are some of the places to be most careful. You’re right in pointing out they’re more sensitive and, while they are quite fleshy, they do also hold a lot of arteries and veins so are more prone to bruising and, worst case scenario, a too hard bite could cause internal bleeding there.   “Holy shit.”  “But that’s why we talk about things first and why we’re careful about how hard we bite. Generally the biggest worry with biting is if you’re breaking skin.”  “Wait, like, making them bleed? People do that?”  “Of course people do that. Blood play is not something I intend to go into with you, but it definitely does exist. And biting can be a fun way to approach it. It opens up all sorts of vampire or werewolf or other monstery creature role play scenes. But skin breaking can be accidental too. Sometimes a tooth that’s chipped or broken can be sharper than normal and can cut skin without as much pressure as would usually take. And sometimes the person you’re biting just has easily damaged skin. So it’s always a good idea, whether you intend to break skin or not, to brush your teeth before a scene you know will include biting. As you would know, the mouth has a lot of bacteria in it, and the last thing you want is for a bite mark to become infected because of it.”  “I think the last thing I’d want is internal bleeding but I see you’re point.”  Roger laughed, “okay yes, that’s probably true.”  “How do you know what a too hard bite feels like?”  “That’s a good question. I’m not sure you can always tell as the biter, but there's a few things you can keep in mind to help stay in a safer zone. Bigger bites are going to be less risky. The space between the jaws effects the overall sensation and the further apart the jaws are when they start the bite, the less of that stingy type of pain you’ll get. Bigger bites tend to be more about pressure than pinching the skin. Plus it’s easier to do bigger bites on fleshier parts of the body where theres a little more protection anyway. But the good thing is most people will give you some sort of pain indication as you bite them. If someone starts saying ‘ow, ow, ow, fuck’ it's probably a sign you should stop.” 

Roger watched as you finished typing your notes and then asked, “How would you feel about a demonstration?”  “Where would you bite me?”  He hummed in thought, “Do you have a preference?”  “Well, my bra is already off, and my boobs are usually mostly covered up so maybe there?”  “I could do that. I promise it won’t be that hard and I’ll try not to leave too much of a mark.”  You gave a jerky sort of half shrug, “I said I don’t mind if you marked me.”  He smiled softly, “I will be very happy to mark you properly during the prac, when I know I can reach places no one else will see. But I don’t want us getting caught.”  “Yeah, no, me neither. Whatever bite you think is best Sir.”  Roger groaned, “If you’re not careful Y/N I will have to take you over this desk before we even finish the theory. Now stand up, lift your shirt up and stay still so I can bite you.”  You did as he asked, thrusting your chest out more as he leaned in towards you, trying not to look too pleased at how riled up he was getting.   Roger dropped his eyes to your breasts again. His hands rested on your waist but slowly rose as he leaned in, as if he were trying to get as close to cupping you again as he could without actually doing it.   You drew in a deep breath as you felt a warm puff ghost over the top of one breast, the one the clamp hadn’t been on.   Roger licked over the spot and then quickly pressed his teeth in.  You gasped as you felt the pressure increase, the sensation not quite painful but verging on it. If Roger pressed even a little harder you were sure it’d cross that line into a more pinchy and painful sensation, but he didn’t and so it remained just a pleasant squeeze.   He held it for a couple of seconds before he released you again, licking over the spot once more to sooth it.  

When he stood back up, wiping a little saliva from his lip, his eyes focused on the spot he’d just bitten and you looked down to examine it too.   There was a small mark, a light indentation where his teeth had pressed. It made you feel oddly pleased.   “It’s not deep. It’ll probably fade before you leave. Looks good though, if I do say so myself.”  You nodded, grinning at him, “I think it’s only fair if you get a matching one.”  “I remember when you used to complain about demonstrating things on me.”  “That was different,” you said defensively, dropping your shirt again, “I know Dylan wont ever let me handcuff him to the bed. But I bet he wouldn’t complain if I bit him.”  “Mmm, and how does that explain your excitement about the clamps.”  “Oh that was just because I like teasing you.”  “We’ll make a switch of you yet, Ms Y/L/N.” Roger chuckled, “Where do you want to bite me?”  You felt warm and blushy and had to look away, the eye contact you’d been fine with a second before suddenly too much, “Umm, I don’t know.”  “What about my arm?” Roger asked, clearly taking pity on you and already beginning to unbutton his shirt.   “You’ll tell me if it’s too hard, yeah?”  “Of course,” he pulled one arm out of its sleeve, his shirt hanging off him as he stretched it out towards you.   Moving closer, you gently took his arm, one hand at his wrist, the other under his upper arm. You’d touched his arms before, squeezed his biceps as he’d fucked you, felt the muscles move though they were softened by age and infrequent activity. This was different though. You could see the goosebumps that broke out as you touched him, feel his pulse quicken under your fingers around his wrist. You heard his breath as you leaned forward in a quick move and closed your teeth on his bicep. You pressed down with your teeth a little more, just a little firmer, and then let go, replacing the bite with a soft peck of your lips.  When you glanced up at Roger, checking if you’d done alright, he was stood with closed eyes and a furrowed brow. It was a delightful sight that made your stomach do a backflip, and suddenly you were eager for his theory lesson to end.   “I think that looks alright,” you said to get his attention, tracing a finger over your toothmarks.   He cleared his throat and angled his arm to better see it, “Yeah, very good. That was a very good bite. Not too hard at all.” He still seemed a little dazed, so you returned to your seat, trying not to peak at his crotch to see if he was any harder.  

Roger still seemed a little flustered but he pushed on with the lesson.  “Hair pulling next. This is another thing people often try to copy from porn. The problem is, professional porn is all staged and they aren’t really pulling people’s hair, it just looks like they are. So there's a lot of misinformed people pulling hair in unsafe ways. What image does the idea of hair pulling in a sexual situation conjure for you?”  You thought about it for half a second, “Well, a woman on her hands and knees being taken from behind. And the man grabs the end of her hair and tugs so her head is pulled back.”  “That, I would say, is the same for a lot of people. But, it’s the wrong way to do it. Tugging back like that will put enormous amounts of pressure on the sub’s neck and, if it’s done too hard or too fast or in the wrong direction, it can severely injure them. There are cases of hair pulling gone wrong that have led not just to pinched nerves, but also to fractures and breakages. It’s very serious and very important it’s done correctly.”  You were becoming less and less shocked at how life-threatening poorly performed kinks could be, so you barely batted and eyelid at Roger’s dire tone as you noted it all down.  “The correct way to do it is much more controlled, but the dom also needs to know their own strength and be very calculated about how much strength to use. This’ll be easier if I demonstrate as I explain.” He moved towards you and held his hand out with fingers spread wide. “Basically, think of your hand like a big comb. You want your fingers spread so you can get a proper fistful of hair. The more hair you grab the less likely you are to break it or pull it out of your partners head. Then start at the nape of the neck...”  You shivered as he moved out of your field of vision, his hand moving into position and then sliding higher up your head.  “Keep your hand as close to the scalp as possible, you want to be grabbing hair near the roots not the ends. Then when your hand is at the back of the head, or the crown, tighten your fist.”  There was a tug as Roger did exactly that and pulled his fist back. His grip was tight and you felt the pull against your scalp but it didn’t hurt too much and there was no strain on your neck.   “Now,” Roger let go and gently brushed your hair back into place with his fingers, “you can also grab hair at the sides of the head but generally speaking that feels less pleasurable than the back of the head. Also, it’s not always easy to do on anyone that has shorter hair but lucky for the both of us, I like a little length.” He grinned and ruffled his own hair which nearly reached his collar, “So why don’t you stand up and try giving mine a tug.”  You stood and gave Roger took the seat.  “Show me your hand,” he said when he was ready, humming in approval when he saw your spread fingers.   His hair was soft and your fingers slipped easily through it as you dragged them up his scalp. It was easy enough to grab a fistful and it didn’t even occur to you to be worried about doing it wrong. You felt totally confident in his instructions and your ability to follow them. And you were gratified to hear Roger make a little sound in the back of his throat as you tightened your fist and tugged gently. It made your cheeks warm and your stomach flutter in excitement. He really liked when you took control and you were beginning to think you might too.  

“Very good,” he said as you extracted your hand and he was free to stand up once more. “How’d you find it?”  “Oh, yeah really good. Umm, I could definitely feel how much control that method gives the dom and the security of it. Very different to what I’d initially expected.”  “Good, that’s exactly right. That control can be very useful for making a sub stand up or kneel down without putting excess pressure on their neck or shoulders. And it leads us nicely into the final thing I wanted to show you today – breath play, specifically choking.” Suddenly any hint of the playful, teasy, excited tone Roger had had during his other explanations was gone. He seemed much more serious and it made you sit up a little straighter in your seat.   “At the risk of killing the mood a little, this is the most dangerous thing I’m going to show you today. Possibly the most dangerous thing I’ll show you in any of our lessons. It’s not something I play with a lot, though I do have some experience on both sides of it. But I’ve only ever done it with people who were experienced doms or subs and had done training about being safe with it. And this is not something I intend to include in any of our scenes. I am showing you today because, like a lot of what we’ve been over in this lesson, choking comes up in porn a lot and lots of people want to try it. Which is fine, it can be hot and exciting, but a lot of people don’t do it properly and I want to make sure that if Dylan ever suggests it, that you will know how to be safe with it.”  Surprisingly, you hadn’t been all that worried when he’d mentioned it was dangerous, but it was still a relief to know he didn’t intend to take it further than this one theory lesson.   “Do you want to have a guess of why it can be dangerous?”  “Well, I’d assume because you’re cutting off air.”  “Exactly, yes. Although, if you’re doing it properly it shouldn't be restricting breath but causing a compression around the blood vessels. But even so, as we already know, the neck is somewhat fragile so there's a lot that can go wrong with choking. Problems don’t always come from the technique either, but from how it’s applied. It’s very easy to restrict for too long, or for the choking to aggravate an underlying medical condition. Sometimes the sub will pass out which isn’t inherently a bad thing but can result in injury if they collapse and hit their head or break something. And choking can make it very hard to communicate properly in regard to safe words or signals. Breath play is very easy to miscalculate and there have been instances of people being killed when they play with it. Not just beginners either. A little while ago the kink community was shaken when a person who was very BDSM experienced accidentally killed their long-term partner because they got the timing wrong. So, when I say this is dangerous, I mean it.”  You nodded solemnly, deciding choking was probably not something you’d ever seek to do after this lesson.  

“So the first thing we should look at is why, if it’s so dangerous, do people enjoy choking?” Roger paused, making sure you were taking notes again, “It’s all about endorphins. The restriction of air or blood makes the body release endorphins which trigger a high of sorts. And if you time it right and that high syncs up with orgasm, it can feel pretty mind-blowing. In addition to those biological effects, there’s also the psychological aspects. Choking, and all forms of asphyxiation really, are what we call edge-play. There’s a very intense threat of death which is followed by a huge rush of relief when you don’t die. It can also help people feel quite grounded because it’s hard to think of anything outside of that moment and so every day stressors become meaningless, and you just feel good. Which can be very nice, especially for people who find it hard to stay out of their heads during sex.”  “But still, all that danger. Is it really worth it?”  “That’s up to the individual to decide. There are no fully safe ways to play with asphyxiation but there are some ways to make it safer. When choking someone it’s important to be mindful of where you’re putting pressure. I said before you don’t necessarily want to cut off breath so don’t put pressure on the front of the neck.” Roger drew his fingers alone his throat to demonstrate. “You want the pressure to come not from the palm, but the fingers at the sides of the throat.” Again, Roger demonstrated, wrapping his hand loosely around his own neck and tapping his fingers where they should sit. “That’s going to cut off carotid arteries and so blood flow.”  You nodded as you wrote it down, “And how long should you do it for? The nipple clamps had a time limit on them, is this the same?”  “Not quite. Different people will feel the effects at different rates. Suffice to say, the longer you hold it, the higher the risk is. So instead of squeezing and holding, it’s better to do a series of short hold and releases for a few seconds at a time. It can also be a good idea to learn how to track arousal and timing of orgasm so that you can choke during climax but not in the leadup. And be mindful of how tight your grip is. One of the secondary issues with choking is suffocation hours later from internal swelling cause by a too tight squeeze.”  “Yikes.”  “Yeah, pretty much. There is one method I’ve used in the past which simulates a similar feeling to choking without placing hands on the neck. Instead you cover the mouth and nose with a hand for no more than 30 seconds. And to amplify the sensations you can apply a very light pressure to the sternum. You still have that control and the sub still feels the breathlessness and the thrill of pushing their limits, but it's a bit less likely they’ll pass out or cause irreparable damage. And then there’s also faking it. Placing a hand against their throat but with no actual restriction or pressure. The dom has to be very aware of themself and make sure they’re not accidentally squeezing, but again, it’s a slightly safer way of approaching choking that will give you similar sensations without quite so much risk.”  “And of course, safe signals would be important.”  “Of course. A tap out is a very popular signal but another chocking specific one I’ve used in the past is eye contact. Because as soon as you start to lose consciousness, you’re going to lose that eye contact and the dom can stop what they’re doing before it gets too far.”  “Are you going to demonstrate on me?”  Roger pulled his lower lip between his teeth, “If you want me to I can. I wouldn’t squeeze or anything, just show you how the hand should be positioned and how it should feel.”  “I’d be okay with that.” Your voice came out in a near whisper, the gravity of the topic making it hard for you to speak much louder.   Roger nodded and stepped back in close, swallowing audibly before he raised his hand and lay it against your neck. His fingers lay along the length of your neck on one side, his thumb firm on the other, just under your jaw.   You raised your head so he could have better access and felt his position alter just a fraction.   “So, what you want to feel is this,” Roger said softly, pressing his fingers a little firmer into your skin. It lasted all of two seconds but it was enough to make your heart race.  “Now will you demonstrate on me?”  You nodded as Roger pulled his hand back, standing up so you could better reach him. He stood still as a statue as you tried to imitate how he’d placed his hand, fitting your fingers against the side of his throat.  “Little higher,” He said softly, adjusting your fingers. When he felt you were more correctly in position, he lay his hand over yours and pressed down on your fingers to simulate the way you should squeeze. “See?”  “Yeah.”  Roger held your gaze for a moment longer and then let you pull your hand back, “So what do you think about it?”  “I’m not in a rush to do it any time soon.”  Roger nodded in agreement, “It can be quite confronting.”  “I mean, I think I can understand why it would appeal to people. It goes along with a lot of the stuff that we’ve talked about before – control and power dynamics and that – but it just seems so scary compared to spanking or whatever.”  “Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I did really want to make sure you understood the risks involved in this one because it is something that a lot of beginners want to try. But it’s also something that can be sprung on you out of nowhere if your partner isn’t communicating properly. Studies have been done in the UK and a high percentage of women said that they had experiences with choking where it wasn’t discussed, it was just something their partner started doing without letting them consent to it or without talking it through first. And I’m not trying to say Dylan would do that to you, but I thought it would be better if you understood it fully before it came up with him. Anyway,” Roger was quick to move on, “I don’t want this lesson to end on such a heavy note. Although, if you’re not overly horny anymore I would understand. So let’s finish up with a quick chat about double penetration.” 

“I’d be okay with trying DP.”  “Oh good,” Roger said, slipping back into the more relaxed and playful tone he’d had before the choking part of the lesson. “There’s not a lot to go through that we haven’t already touched on before in our lesson about anal. Obviously not spreading bacteria from one hole to another, that sort of thing. But what we can discuss is how you might like to try it and if there's anything else we covered today that you’d like to incorporate into the scene.”  “Well I like the idea of including some biting and maybe the clamps too.”  “Absolutely we can do that.”  “Maybe a little impact play too? Nothing too heavy but a couple of spanks could be fun if we’re doing anal stuff anyway.”  “So you’d want to do anal and vaginal penetration? Or we could do oral and one of the others if that appeals more.”  “I’ve got nothing against oral if you want it but you know I prefer the other stuff more.”  Roger nodded, “Of course. But if we’re going to do this, I’m going to need a second thing to penetrate you with.”  “Shame I didn’t bring my plug with me.”  Roger chuckled, “Good thing I bought something else for you,” he pointed to the drawer bult into his desk.  You opened it curiously and pulled out a dildo. It was comparable to Roger though not as girthy and perhaps an inch or so longer. Plus it was a deep purple colour.  “I’ve already washed it so it’s ready to go whenever you want to get started.”  “I’m ready when you are.”  Roger chuckled, “I think you know I’ve been ready since we started playing with the clamps.” 

****

Roger followed you to the bedroom, pausing briefly to make sure he had both clamps. But you hadn’t even reached the bed before he was grabbing you by the waist and twisting you around so he could kiss you.   Your responding giggle soon turned into a gasp as his teeth scraped along your lip, the kiss rough and needy and only deepening as he took advantage of your parted lips. His hands slipped from your waist down to your arse, squeezing and tugging you in tight enough that you could feel his reignited semi pressing against you.   Blindly you reached for the hem of his shirt, releasing an impatient noise into his mouth as you pushed it up.   “Okay,” he said quietly, breath a little ragged after how thoroughly he’d kissed you. He pulled back just far enough to discard his shirt and then his pants, watching closely as you mirrored his actions.  Your bra had been left in the study and Roger sighed appreciatively when he saw your breasts fully exposed. Within a matter of seconds he’d surged towards you again, hands a little chilly but the warmth of his mouth making up for it as he kissed your chest, dragging his tongue over your skin and lightly nipping you with his teeth.   You shivered as his mouth trailed up to your collarbone and then your neck, continuing the assortment of kisses and light bites that left you warm and tingling. It was hard to think under such sensations but you knew you liked what he was doing so you pressed against the back of his head, wanting to keep him close, your other hand at his back.  Finally he found your lips again, sufficiently distracting you from his hand sliding through your hair so that when he tugged on it you let out a surprised little moan.   Roger chuckled and used his grip to tilt your head back, his other hand moving to straighten his glasses.   You were expecting him to speak, to make a comment about how easy you were to dominate or how much fun he was going to have toying with you. Instead Roger just looked at you, his gaze shifting across your face. He must have been able to make out some expression of submission or excitement because he looked far too pleased with himself as he gently righted your head and gave a little tug, directing you to walk backwards towards the bed. 

You had to blink a few times, his proximity and the feeling of your hair in his fist enough to make you melt as he ordered you to sit on the edge of the mattress.   Roger smirked at how quickly you obeyed, following up one order with another as his hand and his words directed you to lay back, legs still over the edge of the bed.   Laying back made you lose sight of him but not for long. Within seconds he was leaning over you. Not straddling, not laying on top like you might have wished for, just leaning over.   You reached out and managed to wrap a hand around the back of his neck, tugging him down into another kiss. His hair brushed against your fingers and you couldn’t resist the temptation, sliding your hand into his hair the way he’d shown you to.  Roger made a sound against your lips that might have been a moan and so you did the only thing that you could think of and reached out to the front of his pants. The purpose of the lesson had abandoned you and all you could think about was how much you wanted him.   Carefully he disentangled himself from you, loosening your fingers from his hair, and shook his head.  You would have complained except Roger chose that moment to make the clamps appear again, holding them up so you could see. Instead you breathed out an, “oh,” and nodded encouragingly at Roger.   He was gentle as he could be as he used a little saliva on his fingers to slick your hardened nipples and slid the clamps into place, slowly tightening them to roughly the same point he’d tightened the one during the lesson.   “Don’t they look so pretty,” he said softly, running a teasing finger around one areola, letting it bump the clamp on that side. He gave the other a little flick, smiling at the sharp breath you took in response.   You whined and reached for his zip again but this time Roger made a tsking sound as he moved away, “No sweetie, not yet.”  “Why not Sir?” you raised your head, trying to keep him in view.  “I want to watch you first. Afterall, I paid for that dildo. Only fair you show me how you’re going to use it.”  The thought made the room feel suddenly much warmer and you bit your lip at the very notion he was implying, but you couldn’t think of any counterpoints so just nodded your agreement.   Roger reached for your underwear as he said, “good girl,” sliding them off your legs and then instructing you to get more comfortable.   You wriggled further up the bed, the clamps moving with your body and stimulating your nipples with each shift.  

With a couple of pillows under your head, you were able to comfortably keep an eye on Roger where he stood, looming over you and eagerly watching your legs spread. It was difficult to draw your gaze from his face. Not even Dylan had seen you like that, doing something so intimate. On the odd occasions you felt like touching yourself, rather than letting your vibrator do the work, you made sure it was when you were alone. And only under the blankets. Knowing that Roger wanted to see made your heart race and your cheeks burn. But it also made you wet.   His gaze was unwavering as you nervously drew your fingers along your slit, spreading the wetness that had gathered, but he didn’t make any demands, or commands. He let you go at your own pace, let you touch how you wanted to touch. Even if that way was slow and hesitant. And the longer he watched, the less unsure your touch became. You could see the lust in his expression, the eager way his eyes followed your fingers, and something about that made you feel more confidant. It was easy to feel sexy when he was looking at you like you were.   You moved your fingers to your clit and saw Roger wet his lips with his tongue, like he wanted to taste you again. You let out a small hum and dipped the tip of a wet finger into your hole.   “Go on love,” Roger said, voice croaky with his desire to see more, “get yourself ready for the dildo.”  “Yes Sir,” you managed to whisper as you eased the finger deeper. You were already much wetter than before and it slipped in without much fuss. You thrust it in and out a few times just to be sure before you added a second finger beside it, the stretch more acute but not uncomfortable.   “Good girl,” Roger purred, leaning forward a little in his excitement.   You whimpered at the praise, beginning to fuck yourself a little faster.   Roger leaned forward again, bracing his hand on your knee as his other reached beside you.   You were confused for a second before he raised the dildo enough for you to see.   “You can do another finger, can’t you love? You’ve taken my cock and I’m much thicker than three of your fingers.”  All you managed was a nod as you pulled your fingers free and lined them up once more, working three of them into the tight hole.    Roger smiled and stepped away from your legs, moving to stand beside you, still holding the purple phallus. Carefully, he reached out with his free hand to brush your hair away from your face.   You could have melted at the sweet gesture had it not been instantly followed by him pressing the dildo to your lips with a growled, “get it wet love.” But all the same, you did as he asked, trying to keep your fingers thrusts steady as you mouthed at the silicone toy.   Roger watched lasciviously, as he manoeuvred the dildo around, making sure most of its length was brushed over your lips and tongue until it was slick with enough of your saliva. It was perhaps the most arousing oral sex had ever been.  

Finally, Roger seemed to decide that you and the dildo were both wet enough for the next part. Grabbing your hand, he guided your fingers away from your pussy and wrapped them around the base of the toy.   “Now, show me how well you take cock.” He stepped back towards the end of the bed so he had a good view as you whimpered and notched the tip of the dildo at your entrance.   You went slow to start, though you were warmed up enough that the dildo slipped inside you quite easily, but soon worked up to a quicker pace. And Roger egged you on, his voice husky as he offered praise and dirty talk that made your pussy clench and your hips buck.   “If I didn’t know it already I’d be able to tell you’re a slut from how easily filled you are.”   You whimpered at his words and his gaze, fixed on your pussy, and worked the dildo harder still.   “You look so gorgeous stretched around cock.”  From where you rested, propped up on the pillows, you had a clear view of Roger palming himself through his pants. It made you moan. Not least because the dildo wasn’t as girthy as he was, and you could imagine how full the real thing would make you feel.   But he wouldn’t give it to you. He kept watching and teasing himself and talking you closer to the edge.  “You think this is enough to moan over, slut? Wait until I fuck you up the arse.”  Every time he said something filthier than before your wrist would speed up, the dildo fucking into you faster for a little while. And then, when you couldn’t go any faster, you brought your other hand to your clit, desperately chasing a release you could feel rapidly building.    Roger helped out, tearing his eyes from your cunt long enough to reach over and flick one of the clamps. It bounced, tugging on the nipple in a way that made your breath catch and a curse fall from your lips. He did it a few more times, intermittently. Even if you knew it was coming (and usually you could work it out because he’d warn you not to stop fucking yourself as he leaned over) it was impossible to brace for and you’d find yourself hissing or whining at the dull tug of the clamp moving.   And yet, it was Roger toying with your sensitive, clamped nipples that finally made you cum. At least in part, you were still rubbing your clit and the angle of the dildo’s thrusts had it stroking some incredibly lovely spots and all of it combined into a delicious mix of sensations and you just couldn’t help the orgasm that rushed over you.   “Good girl,” Roger said softly, having stepped back just in time to watch you clench around the dildo, “Good whore.” 

You kept your fingers moving over your clit as you came, though the dildo had fallen still. When the sensation began to feel too much you let your fingers drop, bumping against Roger’s as he stroked your thigh.   “Good girl,” he said again, moving around the bed so he could better reach your chest, carefully removing the clamps from your nipples.   You breathed in sharply through your nose but Roger wasn’t content with that, adding a pinch to one of your sensitive nipples just to hear you whine.   You arched into his touch as he released you, his fingers gentle once more as he traced your breasts softly.  “Now, since you’ve had a nice orgasm, I think it’s time I did too.” His voice was low and deep and it made you shiver.   You nodded and gently eased the dildo out of you, holding yourself up on one arm, momentarily forgetting what else you’d gone over in the lesson and what he had planned.   But Roger hadn’t forgotten. His fingers raked through your hair and then tightened as he tugged you a little further from the pillows, pulling your ear towards his mouth, “What do you think you’re doing Ms Y/L/N? Did I say you could take it out?”  “No Sir, sorry Sir.”  “Remind me what the last thing we talked about in our lesson was.”  “Double Penetration,” you mumbled, embarrassed you had forgotten.  “Exactly. So why would you unstuff this cunt.” His hand came down as a light spank on your pussy and you jolted in his grasp.  “I forgot.” you mumbled, “But-”  “But what?”  “But, uh, but,” you tried to shake some of the fog from your brain though his grip prevented you from moving too much, and when you finally thought of an excuse it came out in a rush as you desperately tried to earn yourself some leniency, “Wouldn’t I have to take it out to get on my knees anyway?”  Roger laughed, “Who said I wanted you on your knees? I can fuck your arse just fine without you having to move.” He released your hair, letting you drop back to the pillows, but gave your cheek a little slap once you’d landed. “In fact, I prefer it this way so I can see those pretty tits and that drooly fucked out expression you get when I play with your arse.” 

You had a moment to recompose yourself as Roger sought out his condoms and lube but it wasn’t long before the mattress dipped with his weight as he knelt between your legs, his underwear gone. Both his items were placed aside so he could grab your legs, spreading them a little wider than you’d already had them, and then pushing them up so you were almost bent in half and he could see your arsehole.   “Hold them up while I get us ready,” was all he said before he tore the foil packet of the condom open.   You held the position as best you could, wrapping your arms around the back of your knees, though your legs still shook a little as you waited. The slick dildo rubbed against the back of your leg, making sure it was never completely from your mind.   Roger was partially obscured by your own body so you couldn’t see what his hands were doing but you heard him working the condom down his shaft, his breath hitching as he stroked himself, and then the cap of the lube opened. A moment later you jolted as his finger, cold with the stuff, gently stroked your hole.   He didn’t rush, carefully opening you up, though you were sure he had to be beyond hard by then.  

When he had two fingers knuckle deep, Roger reached out to grab your hand which was still holding the dildo, and unwound it from your leg. After his admonishment you’d thought to use it once more but he’d been so quick to position you that you’d not had the chance to, more concerned with keeping your legs where he wanted them. But now he pulled your hand into place, lining the dildo up with your cunt once again, pressing down until it slipped into you once more.   “Now keep that pussy filled and don’t you dare stop fucking yourself.”  You whimpered out a soft, “Yes Sir,” as you thrust the dildo, Roger’s attention on fitting another finger in your arse.   You kept a slow pace, adjusting to having both holes stimulated simultaneously for the first time, but Roger didn’t seem to mind too much. Occasionally he’d lay a spank on the back of your thigh, just to feel you jolt and watch you clench, but he was mostly concerned with making sure you were ready for his cock. Until finally he decided you were, pulling his hand away so he could push his length into you.   You sighed at the feeling, trying to raise your hips to make it easier for him.   Roger chuckled, “such a good whore, you just love taking it up the arse don’t you?”  You nodded but it wasn’t enough for Roger who spanked you until you choked out another, “Yes Sir.”  “Don’t stop fucking that cunt either.”  You realised that your hand had stopped moving as you’d felt his cock, and quickly pumped the dildo into you. It felt so much tighter now that you were filled from both sides and you whined at its drag along your sensitive walls.   “Good girl.” Roger growled as his hips rocked forward, bumping into you as he pushed himself deeper.   As Roger’s thrusts sped up you tried to match his pace, tried to move your fist in time with his hips, moaning as both cocks were sheathed to the hilt before pulling back to thrust forward again. But it soon became too hard to keep up. Sometimes his pace would falter as he felt your muscles clench, sometimes he’d reach forward with his clean hand to toy with your clit or spank you, making your hips buck and your hand slip out of sync. You gave up on trying to time it, instead just wanting to keep feeling as full and tight and good as he was making you feel. And you discovered that even with the dildo moving out of time with his cock, it still felt incredible. You were constantly stimulated. There was no break, no pause in the pleasure. No way to escape it. You moaned again.  

Roger kept talking, his knack for dirty talk hitting you full force as he told you how hot it was.   “S-seeing you take t-wo cocks,” he said through gritted teeth, “being s-such a whore. N-next time I’ll invite one of the others from our munch and they can h-help me fuck you. They could borrow my c-unt while I use my fa-vourite hole.”  The idea made you whine. It wasn’t something you’d ever found overly hot before, though you supposed you could understand why it appealed to others. But in the moment, with Roger’s cock moving in your arse, his hand gripping your leg tightly, his voice a rough growl as he spoke so possessively of you. It was intoxicating and all you could do was nod and moan.   Roger’s cock throbbed at how into it you seemed and all he wanted was to make you cum again so he held your leg steady with one hand as his other found your clit again.   “C’mon whore, cum for your Sir. Want to see my cunt make a mess all over that dildo while I fill your arse.   It didn’t take much longer. The combination of sensations and Roger’s filthy mouth encouraging you made it impossible to hold back and your thighs trembled as your released crashed over you.   Roger didn’t last much longer, content at seeing you satisfied and hungry for his own satisfaction. He thrust a few more times as you whined, your cunt becoming even more sensitive as you kept pumping the dildo into you in short sharp thrusts. And then he groaned, his eyes shut tight, his cock buried deep in your arse as he shuddered with his release.   You were panting when he pulled out. Roger gave your knee an appreciative peck which drew your attention further down the bed and you noticed your hand had stilled once more as you’d cum.   “Sorry, Sir,” you mumbled, hissing as you drew the dildo back.   Roger placed his hand over yours, “it’s okay Y/N, you don’t need to keep going.” His fingers were firm as he helped you ease the dildo out of your pussy and then took it from you. “You were so good for me,” he said placing another kiss on your knee, “I’ll be back in a second okay?”   You nodded and Roger shuffled off the bed to dispose of the condom. When he was clear you let your feet fall back to the mattress. 

****

“So was that okay?” He asked when he returned to the bed, this time lying beside you and pulling you into his arms.  “Very okay,” You said with a laugh, reaching up to push his sweat damp hair out of his eyes.  He leaned forward with a smile a kissed you, muttering the word, “Good,” against your lips.   For a little while that was all you did. His hands were firm and comforting as he clutched you close and you tightened your own hold on him as he kept kissing you softly while you both came down.   Finally he broke away, keen to know more about how the scene had impacted you, “So, you really did like it? I mean it sounded like you did...”  “I did Roger,” you said earnestly, placing your hand on his, although you couldn’t help but giggle a little at him. “It was fun and it felt amazing.”  “And you didn’t mind me watching you masturbate at the start?”  “I’ll admit I was a little uncomfortable at first. I’ve never let anyone see me like that and it felt a bit weird being so...exposed to you. But once I got out of my head, and once I saw how hard you were getting, it became kind of fun.”  “Well of course I was hard, you’re very beautiful and I was watching you masturbate.” Roger laughed, giving you a playful pinch. “What about all the hairpulling and biting stuff?”  “Very enjoyable. Especially when they were kind of to keep me in line or whatever. I really enjoy the Sir dynamic and they fit really well as ways to make me behave but also to make everything else feel even better. Although I don’t think you marked me nearly as much as you implied you would.”  “Oh I’m terribly sorry,” Roger laughed, “I think I can rectify that though.”  You squealed as Roger rolled you onto his back, fitting his teeth over the underside of one breast. As soon as a satisfactory imprint had been left he made another on your side and then, grinning, slid further down the bed to leave a third on your thigh.   All you could manage was to gasp his name, not all that surprised by his behaviour.  When he finally came back up he gave you another soft peck on the lips, “better?”  “Mmhmm,” you giggled, “Much more like what I expected.”  Roger resettled himself, pulling you into his body once again, “But it was good yeah?”  “Yeah, definitely. And that goes for the clamps too. I probably wouldn’t want to use them every time but they were fun and interesting. A little painful but in a good kind of way and something I’d be open to trying again in the future.”  “I’m so glad to hear that,” he said, nuzzling his nose into your neck. “Was there anything else you wanted to bring up? Anything that didn’t work or anything that surprised you?”  You thought for a moment, absentmindedly twirling a strand of Roger’s hair around your finger, “That thing you said about sharing me.”  Roger pulled back to examine your expression, “I didn’t really mean to say that. I know you said that Dylan,” you could almost hear his eyes roll, “would mention it and you didn’t like the idea so I’m very sorry if that was upsetting or at all distressing. It just sort of slipped out.”  “It’s okay Roger, I didn’t mind. I mean, it’s definitely not something I want to do for real but in the moment the idea was a little bit hot. I think because it played into the whole thing like I’d be so....I don’t know, so without control. And I knew you weren’t serious about wanting it to happen, it was just something you said because it sounded hot. Whereas Dylan....I think he’s always been at least a little serious about wanting it, even if he played it off as a joke or as unimportant.”  There was a quiet moment. You were thinking about Dylan and how often he made comments about letting his friends use you, too pre-occupied to notice Roger struggling to decide whether to say something.  

After a while Roger, with some effort, said, “A-and the anal?” which pulled you out of your thoughts and back to the present moment. “Was it okay even though we didn’t have your plug?”  You wriggled closer to Roger and grabbed his hand so you could play with his fingers, “It was wonderful. Maybe a little tighter than normal to start but that might also have been because of the dildo, I don’t really know. My legs are a little sore now and I think if we’d gone much longer I was in danger of getting a cramp, but it did feel really, really good. It’s one of the things I’m most pleased at discovering with you I think.”   Roger just leaned in to kiss you again but you could feel how pleased he was that you’d enjoyed it as much as you had.   It made your heart flutter and for the rest of the time you were in his bed you tried your best to keep your attention on him, to ignore the feeling in your chest and the thoughts you’d been lost in. 

[kaunisbaby]

13, 15, 29, 31

hello friend!! 💕💕 thank you 🥰

13. how do you feel right now?

stressed!! my whole family has covid and it's harder than i thought to stay away from them at all times, and i think I'm starting to develop some symptoms as well, my throat feels... a way it's never felt before?? like someone poured acid into it but like 2 months ago? i wouldn't say it hurts or burns but it feels. off. dry. weird

but at the same time i think im imagining it all 😭 because i wouldn't say i feel sick i just have this... thing in my throat. im getting covid tested tomorrow. and im supposed to work tomorrow and i feel so guilty about calling off on my second day there 😭 hopefully the boss won't be mad idk i hate everything

15. personality description

sensitive, chipper and cheerful when im with people (yet very introverted - my social battery is like one of a five year old iphone), analytical, very irascible, sensual, vain, reserved, anxious, non judgemental, inflexible, reliable

29. favorite film(s)

already answered!

31. 3 random facts

1. i took bass lessons for a year. i wasn't great 😅

2. my last name is an italian word for a sweet sweet food and it's super cute

3. ive been to exactly 10 concerts in my life so far: madonna, justin timberlake, backstreet boys, panic! at the disco, myss keta (a female italian rapper/trapped idk my uni friends dragged me - but i talked to her after the show and she told me i was sexy af so there's that), bring me the horizon, motionless in white with skold, electric callboy/blind channel, my chemical romance and måneskin. and i have three more shows planned for this autumn/winter 😌

[the-orangeauthor]

hey sunshine! how are you doing?

I hope you're good <3

since you have already graduated uni, I was wondering if you could help me with a little (big) problem I have that's making me stressed

(it's okay if you can't/don't have time/don't feel comfortable with sharing!!!!)

So, next year im in fourth year (if everything hopefully goes right🤞🏻) and that means I have to write a thesis, here called End of Grade Project or TFG. And although is entirely a thing for fourth year, my profs have already advised us that we should start thinking about topics and themes to write our thesis about

if you've done a thesis, how did you choose the topic you wanted to write about?

also if you have tips to spare, i'd love to know them, cause it's making me pretty anxious and rationally I know it's not a problem for Present Me, but I get nervous nonetheless

a million thank you's<33333333333333

(and, in case you can't help me, which is again totally valid, use this ask to tell me about your day, your writing or whatever interest you have atm, I'd love to read about those as well, haha)

Good evening my sweet cup of coffee, it has been a very long week but I am back to answer this for you ❤️

I have a link here to a post I made recently briefly covering how I did my thesis but I can go into more depth for you!!

You do a degree in psychology right? I don’t know how that would differ from mine but I asked around and here’s how it works:

Because I did a biomed degree we also had lab based thesis options which is what I went for as the practical experience was great for my masters application. I had quiet a few friends go for essay only projects and here what they did to prepare:

Read - every time, always, look at new research in your field, new studies, explore areas that you covered in lectures that caught your eye and see if there’s still more to discover - there always is

Personal experience - as with most science degrees / healthcare related degrees there’s always some kind of personal element you can link there, my friend wanted to research MS since someone in her family had it etc

Are you planning on further study in a specific field? I knew I wanted to do research in immunology so I went for the project most closely related to it so I could use that as an opportunity to research it more

Brainstorm - if you have several or few ideas make a brainstorm and just write what you know / don’t about each one, you may find that one of these topics leaves you with interesting questions you might want to pursue

Speak to your professors!!! Your professors are experts in their fields, talk to them about ideas that you’ve come up with, if they think there’s enough research out there for you to get good info for your project etc

Speak to your friends - you’ve all studied the same thing for years now, bounce ideas off of each other

Your notes - go back and look at what you’ve learnt. Where are the question marks in the research? Which of these experiments should have had more variables? How would a new demographic change the results you have?

Read read read read read read read read - you don’t have to read the whole article, the opening abstract will be enough to start sparking some ideas

Remember, your thesis isn’t about the results and data you gain, it’s about showing the professors that you are capable of evaluating large sums of information, selecting what is relevant, and drawing logical conclusions from what you’ve read.

Have fun with it, it’s a big project and you’re going to spend a lot of time on it. Make sure your final topic is interesting to you (absolutely does not matter if everyone else thinks it’s boring, this is for you) and make sure you understand at least a few foundational concepts for it. You’re already thinking about it pretty early on so you have plenty of time to bounce around ideas, and never be afraid to run it past your professors for advice, it’s what they get paid for!!

I hope you’ve had a lovely week ❤️❤️❤️