#hopefully I don’t have a meltdown this time

[rooolt]

Happy naddpod live in Philly day for all who will celebrate

[gothstiels]

idk like tomshiv ending up unhappily together with a baby felt inevitable imo. it’s not that they want us to root for them or see it in a positive light now. it’s that they were always going to be stuck together. it’s very much in the same vein as kendall fighting for ceo again when we all know it might kill him. obviously it’s terrible but i would even go so far as to say it’s the point.

[therealcocoshady]

Reader going into labor while Marshall is on tour 👀

Surprise Drop

A/N : found what I wrote for this Ask a while ago. I had literally forgotten about this One Shot, it was in an abandoned space of my Google Drive 🙊. I have no idea why I never uploaded it over there ! Anyway, I hope you enjoy it ☺️.

Mind you, I added my own little twist to it, because I cannot imagine him going on tour while his partner is pregnant.

CW : Cryptic pregnancy - CocoShady writing about Dad!Marshall again because I love this trope

As he was close to finishing his set, Marshall seemed in his element. The crowd was roaring and fans were rapping along as he spat his verses that resonated throughout the stadium. The performance was a testament to the amount of work that had gone into putting that tour together, from the elaborate scenography to the setlist. His team was watching him from backstage, knowing an interruption so close to to the end of the show was out of the question. But tonight, unbeknownst to him, they were in a rush to get him out of there as soon as possible. Thirty minutes ago, Paul, his manager, had received a call demanding that Marshall flew back to Detroit as soon as possible. He’d been about to tell the lady, whose voice he had never heard, to go to hell and not to call this number again if she didn’t want him to press charges for harassment, but she had pronounced the magic word : your name. « Y/N is in the hospital, so you’d better have my son in law on the next plane to Detroit », your mother had ordered in a tone that left no room for arguing. And, as if the news of Marshall’s long time partner were not enough of a compelling argument, she had added something about your life being at stake. Scary and cryptic enough.

After consulting Tracy and some other trusted members of the team, they had agreed to let him finish the show. They knew he’d freak out as soon as they broke the news to him and, frankly, they needed the time to handle the logistics details and hurrying him to the airport. The private plane had been chartered, the driver already waiting for him outside of the venue, and his bags had been packed. For now, though, only few people knew about the disruption. They didn’t have enough details, and they couldn’t risk freaking out the whole team with a possible tour cancellation. Hopefully, you’d be alright and Marshall would be able to keep the tour going. Paul was nervously pinching his nose, silently hoping that he wouldn’t have to call the insurance company. The simple report of a performance at a later date would cost tons of money. Not to mention the PR they’d have to handle. And the manager absolutely refused to think about the worst case scenario.

When Marshall finally wrapped the last song of the night, Paul gestured for him to hurry up, not allowing for a proper goodbye to the crowd. As soon as he saw the frown on his manager’s face, he could sense something was wrong. « We need to get you out of there. A plane is waiting to take you back to Detroit. Y/N’s mom called. She is in the hospital ». There was no mention of your life being at stake, Paul figuring out that the urgency in his tone was enough and that the last thing anyone wanted was for Marshall to have a meltdown. He felt his heart sink, his mind running through all of the possibilities, none of them being good. He’d had you on the phone merely ten hours ago and everything seemed fine. « What happened? Is she ok? », Marshall asked. « I don’t have more details, Marshall. But from what I gathered… It’s serious and you need to get back », Paul replied. That much, he had figured. You were strong and definitely not the type to have him fly back over a sprained ankle. If you’d had your mother phone his manager, it must be pretty serious. Enough for his mind to go to the worst-case scenario. His vision clouded as he imagined you in a hospital bed, after some car wreckage or another tragedy. However, his assistant shook his arm and reminded him that he needed to hurry up.

Within minutes, they were being escorted to a car and driven to the airport. Then started the longest plane ride of his entire life. He tried calling your phone but it went straight to voicemail every time. Same for your mother’s. And the hot shower taken in the private plane’s bathroom, nor Tracy’s word of reassurance were enough to ease his mind. After a couple of hours, he finally received a text from his mother in law, addressing the numerous texts and voice messages he’d left. « Things are progressing. We’ll explain everything in person as soon as you get there». He wasn’t sure who ‘we’ was, or what ‘things’ were progressing. By the time the jet touched down in Detroit, Marshall was a nervous mess. He went straight to the hospital, leaving Tracy to drop his stuff home and, as he rushed to the reception and through the hallway, he finally spotted your mother outside of a room. « Is-Is she…Is Y/N ok? » he asked, absolutely out of breath. His mother in law placed a reassuring hand on his forearm and nodded, an undecipherable expression on her face, that looked like a mix of relief and exhaustion. « Everyone is fine, Marshall. We’re glad you came so quickly » she replied in a gentle voice. He let out a sigh of relief. You were fine. You were alive and breathing and, in the moment, that was all that mattered. Without a second thought, he opened the door to the hospital room and finally set his eyes on you.

You were sitting up in bed, arms wrapped around yourself, your eyes wide and full of worry. You looked exhausted and fragile and he immediately rushed to your side, wrapping his arms around you. « Babe. Oh, God, you scared me. What happened?! » he asked. « Marsh, » you said softly. « I-I didn’t know. I, I swear I didn’t…». He didn’t register what you said, his undivided attention on you and the sensation of his beating heart, processing the relief, the fact that you were fine. But then, he spotted your mom walking towards a corner of the room, where a small bassinet was standing. His eyes widened in shock. « What the fuck? » he let out.

It couldn’t be. He’d been home just two weeks ago and you were fine. And most of all : absolutely not pregnant. He certainly didn’t wear his glasses as much as he should, but he was certain he would have noticed if your body had been preparing to eject a human the size of a watermelon. He stared at you, then you mother, in shock. Tears were silently streaming down your face, while your mom looked at him with sympathy, as she held a baby wrapped in a soft, yellow blanket. « They said it was a cryptic pregnancy, » your mother explained. « Looks like this little one was playing hide and seek. No symptoms at all ». For a few seconds, Marshall was unable to breathe. He looked at you, trying to wrap his head around the news, replaying the last few months in his mind, wondering if there had been signs he’d missed. But you hadn’t seemed tired, did not eat more than usual, did not put on much weight… Nothing. Then, another wave of realization hit him. The vasectomy. About ten months ago, you’d convinced him to get one. None of you wanted to have a baby and you were fed up with your hormonal contraception, so he had agreed. And yet, there you were, in the hospital after giving birth to a tiny human whose gender, according to the blanket, was neither boy nor girl. A tiny, pale yellow chick. But you didn’t cheat. You would never do that to him. That much, he knew. He stared at you silently, not understanding how it was possible. « The surgery », he said. « How… ? I-I’m supposed to shoot blanks ». You looked down, realizing the turn this was taking. You’d asked the nurse very same question. « They told us to keep using protection for two months after it », you whispered. « We didn’t », he murmured. « Holy shit ».

You looked at him, giving him an apologetic glance. « I’m sorry », you whispered as you teared up again. The past few hours had been a blur of pain and shock, and now you were terrified. You had never expected to give birth out of the blue, to a baby you didn’t know was there, and nothing had prepared you to deliver that type of news. Marshall pulled you into his warm embrace and help you tight before placing a kiss on your temple. « It’s not your fault, my love » he said. Then, feeling heavy and fearful, he got up and walked to your mom, to have a look at the baby. He was immediately struck by the resemblance to his own baby pictures, that didn’t leave any room for doubt. That was his baby. « Is it…? », he began, mesmerized by the tiny, sleeping infant. « A baby girl. A very healthy baby girl », your mother announced with pride. « And I think she wants to meet her father », she added with a soft smile. He swallowed dryly then nodded. She handed it to him, and he held her with gentle care, feeling his whole world shift. The tension of the night immediately melted away, giving way to tears of relief and emotion. « Hi there » he whispered. « I’m-I’m your Dad ». He took his eyes away from her, looking up to you. « She’s beautiful » he said, his voice thick with emotion. You nodded, visibly relieved by the way he reacted. You were still feeling distant and hazy, not fully realizing that this baby was yours. You’d held her a couple of times but nothing had kicked in yet. Marshall, however, seemed immediately taken by the little one, as he was looking at her with amazement. The initial tension in his stance had eased up and, minutes later, he was cradling her as if it were the most natural thing for him, with the confidence of someone who’d been there before.

You stared at each other in silence, his eyes silently assuring you that everything would be alright. Then, your baby girl stirred and let out a soft cry. As if she wanted to remind the room of her presence, commanding attention. He looked at you with a grin and shook his head. « Guess she’s got my attitude », he joked. You mustered a smile and nodded. « Yeah. Your knack for surprise drops too, it seems ».

[insert-name-heres-things]

Happy Disability Pride Month!!!

Remember Folks:

- SELF CARE IS NUMBER ONE

- Use your spoons sparingly! Here’s some spoons to go: 🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄

- Clean your mobility aids! (Seriously dude when was the last time you wiped that shit down with an antibacterial?)

- Accommodate yourself, as others will follow.

- Make goals within your reach and abilities

- DO YOUR COPINGS SKILLS

- Remember to stay hydrated and take your meds!

- For my fellow heat sensitive homies, stay cool this summer! A cold rag draped behind your neck, airy clothing, a small portable hand fan, keeping ice packs ready, cold water and expecially cold electrolyte drinks, all do wonders!

- For my fellow autistic folks, don’t be afraid wear earmuffs, stim, use chew charms, whatever it is that helps you regulate. You don’t have to mask if it’s something that isn’t benefitting to your life.

- POTS havin mofos like me, salt the ever loving fuck out of your food. Try different foods with salt, such as fruits and vegetables! I’m currently eating a salty tomato. Drink lots of water, I’ve been aiding gateraid packets to my water and it’s made a HUGE difference, especially as someone who hates drinking water.

- Those with PTSD for whatever reason, I wish you safety and support as you learn to cope and hopefully heal.

- I don’t know exactly what to say to others with H-EDS, as I’m still understanding this disorder other then BE CAREFUL WITH YOURSELF THIS PRIDE MONTH. I swear to god we are the most accident prone mother fuckers lmfao-

- If your immune system is all fucky like mine, keep clean and be sanitary, communicate with others that if they’re sick you can’t be around them, and wear a mask if you feel like that’s the right option for you. In my hometown I’ve gotten yelled at more than once for wearing a mask post-covid, however you can’t let someone else’s ignorance result in your own suffering.

- Don’t forget to move around and stretch! A little movement can do a lot for your body.

- Check in with your disabled friends! Try and see if there’s any way you can help one another, see where both of your strengths and weaknesses lie, and swap some spoons!!

- Be aware of what triggers your disorders. Whether if it’s caffeine triggering bipolar episodes, the weather causing fibro flares, big changes causing meltdowns, overexerting your hypermobility, whatever it is, it matters. Listen to your body and mind.

- Don’t be afraid to call out that doctor who isn’t listening, dismissing your symptoms and medically gaslighting you.

- While it may not seem like a big difference for some, trust me when I say your appetite is so important! Remember if it comes down to it, that it’s better to eat something, ANYTHING, than nothing at all. 

- To that person who might be hesitant, ashamed or might be questioning wether or not they should use a mobility aid, if it’s the difference between you being stuck at home vs going out and living some life… USE THAT MOBILITY AID!!! Same goes for braces and any other tool that may help you live a better quality of life.

- Be accepting towards those with disabilities different then your own- remember this month isn’t a competition about who’s struggling the most, rather to understand that people of physical, psychological, sensory, neurodivergence, and even undiagnosed disabilities all share one thing in common.. WHICH IS BEING DISABLED!

- Doesn’t matter who you are, how young or old, black or white, thick or thin - the disabled minority is one you can end up becoming a part of at any time, and likely will if you live long enough. Disability doesn’t discriminate, so EVERYONE should be advocating for disabled people’s rights.

- And of course, have pride in being disabled. This shit is fucking hard, but if you’re reading this, you’re doing it. Just being here today and doing what you can handle or manage, is doing your best, and that’s enough. You don’t have to push yourselves to impossible lengths to be proud of yourself.

Here, have the disability pride flag:

[vifilms]

Abbys reaction to you telling her how hot she is while making out: "you're so hot I can't stand it it drives me crazy." - maybe the first time or one of the first times

ALL MY LOVE IS FREE

tags: eighteen+, lesbians obsessed with each other, had to post during lesbian visibilty week like c'mon???, just a big bag of fluff packaged with light steam, abby being a nervous goofball, sfw with suggestive themes.

an. sorry i kinda disappeared with posts. new collab is taking over my brain. but wanted to at least post something. can't wait for y'all to get a taste. until then, i'll be finishing the requests in my inbox (hopefully). with all the love, ray.

the end of your first date with abby marks a colossal milestone, especially for the two of you. the moment almost seemed monumental. taking one year of abby’s pining, six months of flirting and six months of tiptoeing while you were with someone else. respectfully, waiting until a month after the breakup, she asks you out.

unimaginable expectations abby had before going into tonight, but all she had to offer it seems was her nerves. god, she was acting like a dumb, mumbling, dork tonight. saying the first thought coming to mind, but it makes you laugh. when abby nearly eats it on the sidewalk, tripping over a crack of grout in the cement. your soft angelic voice taking her out for a moment, the only thing centering her from having a meltdown. 

“baby, are you alright? be careful, honey.” there it is, angelic. “wouldn’t want you to fall.” the first pet names hurled her way by you, making her heartbeat faster than she could keep up with. you cut her off at her knees, ensuring you are the only person she could ever want.

fuck, fuck, fuck.

it’s pretty obvious who was in control the entire night. if the two of you are friends, this night has a year of expectations, hopes, goals to meet and abby felt like she was failing. deeply.

as she walks you up to the front door, she knows the only thing she accomplished was letting you down. nothing went the way she thought it was going to. everything felt off. worst of all, your silence snuffs her out, completely.

you grab her hands, pulling her up the stairs with you. the collar feels too hot, tense, off. delicate fingers playing with the collar before you unclasp the buttons, keeping down before you move to her chest, placing your hand on abby’s inconsistent heartbeat.

“can i? s’tense, need you to loosen up for me. alright?” abby nods, accepting you can read her like the back of your hand. she just doesn’t want you to stop touching her. “get out of this head of yours. s’just me and you, no one else.” your nimble fingers pop the first three buttons, revealing her freckled chest, dipping into her sternum, giving you a delicious preview. she takes a deep breath, and you believe it’s the first one she’s allowed herself since she showed up with a bouquet of flowers in hand. 

“‘m sorry, i didn’t mean to ruin tonight. i just— it’s you. y’know? i’ve never wanted someone like this. been friends for ages and this is just everything. you are everything. i’ll never live with myself if i let you slip through my fingers.” her heartbeat calms under your touch the longer abby speaks, bringing a warmness to your own. “don’t worry about all of it. you’re not going to. i won’t let you.” 

“okay.” abby says as she gets lost in the light in your eyes. the fire visible behind yours. the way she’s looking at you? fuck. unimaginable desire — all for you. it almost seems too good to be true. like you don’t deserve it. waiting for the pin to drop, all the misery drowning you with it. “did you have a good time tonight?” 

“yes baby, i did.” you smirk as she inches forward, closing you into your front door. back pressed against it, her small breasts pressed to your chest, her free hand extended, next to your head as it lays flat on the door.

“s’good. wouldn’t want to kiss you if the date was bad.” all the confidence is back. the abby who flirted with you shamelessly for months on end. knowing you’re happy is enough for her. it’s all she needs to know to let the loser in her fall to ashes. but you taking the reins for a moment, does something so visceral inside her. she nearly doesn’t know how to act until her instincts kick in. 

she’ll satisfy you — just in the way she knows how. 

“what are y—” abby pressed her body weight into you, strong hips pinning you against the door using one of her hands to pin both of yours above your head. you’re whimpering, signaling your shock but the whine omitting from your lips tells abby your pussy is shocked. soaked.

“doing what i should have done months ago.” her pink plump lips meet yours, taking complete control over you. but you welcome it with open arms. she grunts in your mouth causing you to gasp as abby’s tongue enters your mouth. massaging it with yours in a swift battle for dominance. 

it’s too much but also not enough. you’re grinding against her, your crotch kissing hers as you lift a leg, wrapping it around her waist. she continues kissing you like her entire life depends on it. not letting you feel anything but her. she’ll be your everything and you’re not leaving until you understand it just as much as her. “abs—” you mumble in her mouth, abby relinquishes the tight grip on her hands.

immediately your hands are woven in her hair. tugging at the golden hair, as you try to pull her closer to you, if it was even possible. but the two of you have to come up for air, abby the first one to break as she chuckles at both of your heaving chests. 

“fuck, you’re so hot, baby. can’t stand it.” you peck her lips softly. admiring how puffy and swollen they look from her ministrations. god, you want her to devour you once again. “‘m, drives me crazy.” you admit, taking in the intoxicating smirk on her face. you’re not made into a fumbling mess easily. the both of you know it. that’s how abby knows it in her bones, she has you. fuck, she can’t ever imagine letting go. 

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | June 3rd-23th 2024 ~ Fics

Sorry for skipping a two weeks! I had a work thing the weekend before before last and work is a bit busy at the moment so I couldn't get to it during the week. Hope you enjoy!

Complete

Take the Lead by Inell/ @inell (Getting Together, Post-S7 | 1,3K | Teen): Buck and Eddie finally have a conversation that they’ve needed to have for months, if not years.

take me out and take me home by bellabrady (Getting Together | 1,7K | Not Rated): Maddie has been texting him, asking him if he’s asked Buck yet and reassuring him that he’ll say yes, although after a few days, it seems her patience started to run out and the reassurance kind of turned into bullying. So he’s going to do it. He’s going to ask Buck out on a date, today. Partially because he wants to finally be with Buck and this will hopefully be the start of that and partially because he’s getting tired of Maddie texting him that he’s a coward — Or: Buck and Eddie finally go on a date.

thanks, babe! by bucksclipboard/ @excuseme-greentea (Getting Together | 1,8K | Teen): Eddie accidentally calls Buck babe and refuses to have a meltdown over it. It was just his subconscious betraying him because they were surrounded by couples, right? Right?!

hit the jackpot by coupe_de_foudre/ @panevanbuckley (Canon Divergent, 1x09: Trapped | 2K | General): “I’m your husband.” “You’re my husband? Holy shit!”

baby don't you know? (you're my golden hour) by ipretendtobesane/ @useramor (Post-S6 | Getting Together | 2K | General): Eddie will give him this: Chimney does wait months after Buck’s out of his coma and back by his side to bring it up. “How come you and Buck haven’t told anyone you’re together?”

I wish I could help by bucksclipboard/ @excuseme-greentea (Post-7x05: You Don't Know Me, PWP | 2K | Explicit): Eddie is so pent up he can barely focus on his job – and Buck is all too happy to help. That’s just what friends do.

the 'i' in ikea stands for 'i love you' by ipretendtobesane/ / @useramor (Getting Together, Didn't Know They Were Dating | 2,8K | Teen): buck has some life changing realizations in the curtain section of ikea. mainly, he's really, really in love with his best friend.

Chance Encounter by Inell / @inell (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Divorced Eddie/Shannon, S4 | 3K | Teen): When Eddie and Buck go to the Hollywood Farmer’s Market, Eddie doesn’t expect to run into his ex-wife for the first time since moving to LA two years ago.

(for every question why) you were my because by thatbuddie (talktothesky) (Post-S7, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): “Being boyfriends and being friends is really different,” Buck says. “But if you’re so okay being friends with him,” Eddie explains, “It means there wasn’t anything he did wrong while being your boyfriend. So I don’t understand why you broke up with him.” “I didn’t break up with him because he did anything wrong.” Eddie opens his arms wide and then lets them drop down to hit the side of his thighs. “But then what happened? I just don’t understand. What happened?” “You! That’s what happened: You!” (or, Buck breaks up with Tommy but won’t talk about it, and Eddie just needs to know why.)

of bake sales and overdue realizations by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Getting Together | 4,8K | Teen): Eddie doesn’t notice it until it becomes a thing that happens even when it’s just him and Buck, without Chris anywhere near them - but even then, he doesn’t find it strange, or give it much thought. Buck is the one who starts ending their phone calls with a quick ‘love you’ but it doesn't take long before Eddie does the same, often beating him to it.

one single static frame by signetsealed/ @gayeddieagenda (Post-S7, Pre-Buddie | 5K | General): Chris is gone and Buck and Eddie are called on for babysitting duty. Eddie has feelings about it.

some version of you that I might not have (but I did not lose) by Chash/ @ponyregrets (Coma Dream, Pre-Buddie | 5K | Teen): Either Eddie is dreaming and can't wake up, or he's losing his mind. He's not sure which one is more likely.

Baby Got Buck by bgonemydear, Chash/ @ponyregrets (Pre-canon to S7 | 5K | Mature): Five times Buck checked out a guy's ass before he figured out he was bi, and one time someone checked out his after.

sounding like the rest of my life by coupe_de_foudre/ @panevanbuckley (Canon Divergent, Getting Together | 6K | General): or, Eddie does a Ravi and swaps shifts for a bit, only everyone on B Shift is convinced that he and Buck are married. they might not be as wrong as Eddie initially thought.

buried deep, our love comes home by lookforanewangle (Post-3x15: Eddie Begins | 7K | Teen): “You care for him.” “Of course I do,” Buck says, gaze back on Eddie against his will. He squeezes Eddie’s hand again. “He’s my best friend.” “That’s not what I meant.” “I—I don’t—Bobby, it-it’s not like that—” or: After a traumatic few days, Buck and Eddie get their shit together.

i told my future by reading your lips by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (2x06: Dosed, Time Travel | 7K | Teen): In 2018, on their way to a call at a child beauty pageant, and feeling a little strange, Buck and Eddie are suddenly thrown into a fast-paced look at some key moments from their future. And, what they see? Well it can only lead to one logical conclusion.

oh, come when you're called by lesbianrobin/ @lesbianrobin (Post-S7 | 8K | Teen): Chris wants his dad. He wants his bed. But he can't have those yet, and he and Dad never really text because if Dad’s not working they’re usually together or one of them is too busy to text, so texting Dad feels weird, but Buck… He can text Buck.

🔥 Saints into the Sea by Chash/ @ponyregrets (Post-7x05: You Don't Know Me, Coming Out, Jealous Eddie | 8K | Teen): There's an itch between his shoulder blades when Buck talks about Tommy, when Buck asks Eddie if he wants to join the two of them for a drink after work, when Buck smiles at a text message and Eddie knows it's from Tommy. His stomach had been twisted in knots for half of Maddie and Chim's wedding, watching the two of them. There's only one awful, inevitable conclusion: Eddie isn't actually as comfortable with Buck's coming out as he thought he was. Which is, frankly, unacceptable.

If You Want It, You Can Have It by fruitsdoesnotknow/ @tayf-ghost (Post-S7, Halloween, Identity Porn | 9K | Mature): Buck just wants to enjoy a Halloween night out with the 118, drinking and dancing and making fun of Ravi's costume, all the while trying to handle his newfound feelings for Eddie. He thinks he's being smart, trying to get over his best friend, or at the very least, keep his secret under wraps. He ends up doing the exact opposite. It ends up yielding great results.

🔥 We're at an Impasse Here; Maybe We Should Compromise by Chash/ @ponyregrets (Post-S7 | 9K | Teen): "You cannot murder anyone," says Maddie. "Also, if you were going to murder your captain, it would be very stupid to write murder down as your top idea for how to deal with him." "It's on a dry erase board!" Chim protests. So far, all he's written on the board is Ways to Deal with Capt Gerrasshole, and then 1. Murder? below it. "And I put a question mark. So even if I didn't erase it, the jury would never convict. A question mark introduces reasonable doubt."

friends don't mean nothing to me (it's us) by Kwills91/ @kwills91 (Pre-S2, Canon Divergent | 15K | Teen): Buck and Eddie meet before he joins the 118, and it just might be the balm he needs to get over Abby. But when Eddie starts working at the station, Buck doesn't understand why Hen and Chim keep looking at them that way, or why Bobby seems to think they're dating.

🔥 when the longer days of sun appear, they'll be rising like an answered prayer by Chash/ @ponyregrets (Post-S7, Fake Relationship | 18K | Explicit): Eddie is generally worried when Tommy and Buck break up because Tommy's ex moved back to town, and even more worried when that leaves Buck without a date to a wedding. So, of course, Eddie's going to help him out with all of that.

🔥 like a bird stealing bread out from under your nose by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-S7, Fix-It | 21K | Mature): If you’d asked Eddie back in May what rock bottom looked like, it was his son leaving him. That felt like it; everything ruined so entirely that there was no way to ruin it further. There’s always more to lose.

🔥 some things fall when they're meant to fall by sibylsleaves/ @sibylsleaves (Post S7E5 | 25K | Teen): Eddie’s gaze drop to Buck’s lips—pink, like his birthmark. Eddie wants to taste those lips, and he wants it with a fierceness so sudden it shocks him. “I’m, uh,” Buck stammers. “Last night. When you saw me and Tommy…we—we were on a date.” Everything inside Eddie goes still. If his heart is a kite, then this is the moment it plummets back to earth. or, Buck tells Eddie some news. Eddie has a realization and breaks up with his girlfriend. Not necessarily in that order.

🔥 that magic feeling by woodchoc_magnum/ @woodchoc-magnum (S7 Fix-It | 42K | Explicit): An alternate ending to season 7, in which Eddie doesn't completely blow his life up, and he and Buck realise they're in love.

🔥 ripples all the way down by iriswests/ @fcntasmas (Getting Together, S4 | 52K | Mature): With some coercion, Buck allows Maddie to set him up on a date. Surprisingly, the date goes well — and it keeps his mind off the unnamable feelings he’s been studiously ignoring for his best friend. Until Christopher’s science report on gentoo penguins — no, seriously — sets off a series of events that has him somehow spending more time at the Diazes’ side, and he feels like he’s going just a little bit insane trying to juggle a burgeoning relationship, his jealousy over Eddie’s own new relationship with Ana, and his inability to move on from the place that’s been his for three years in the Diazes’ lives. Oh, and Eddie keeps looking at him like he has something to say — except he never says it. This is the tumultuous road to finding out what Buck truly wants, paved by pebbles. -- or; christopher partakes in some parent trapping

🔥 stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong by Daffi_990_ao3/ @daffi-990 (Canon Divergent, Different First Meeting | 85K | Not Rated): Probational Firefighters Evan “Buck” Buckley and Eddie Diaz meet on a call which ends with them at odds with each other. As the months roll by, they keep running into each other on the job, much to Eddie’s dismay and Buck’s delight. Can they put aside their first opinions and misunderstandings and allow the seeds of friendship, and possibly something more, to take root?

WIP

🔥 Steal My Sunshine by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Altered Memories | 7/9 | 24K | Mature): Memories hazy and unreliable, Eddie Diaz wakes up every morning in a house at the end of a cul de sac, goes to his office job at a petroleum engineering company, and comes home to his wife and son. But something is missing, and the more Eddie begins to put the pieces together, the stranger the predicament he finds himself in. 

🔥 If You Can Make the Music by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, | 1/5 | 2K | Mature): Spin-off Sequel to Evan Buckley & the Coma-Verse of Madness - Chapter 5 (Seaside): A year after a whirlwind two week love affair with bartender Buck in Galveston, Texas, Eddie Diaz finds himself coincidentally relocating to the area. But when he attempts to reconnect with Buck, he's in for an unfortunate surprise. (Part 3 of Coma-Verse)

The Smutty Ones by Tizniz/ @tizniz (PWP | 55/? | 22K | Explicit): A collection of smutty Buddie drabbles.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, Divergent Post-S6 | 129/? | 405K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night by I_still_dont_understand_13 / @sherlockcrossing (Prompt collection | 33/? | 21K | Teen): 100 kiss prompts.

Chapter 33. 19. "If we get caught kissing we're dead but let's risk it." 

🔥 Held Up a Lightning Rod (Wonder Why I'm Struck) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Not A Firefighter Eddie, Sugar Baby Buck | 4/22 | 18K | Explicit): When Eddie Diaz stumbles his way into money, he finds himself one of the most eligible bachelors in Los Angeles - to his dismay. He needs a way to get people off his back without confessing his messy marital situation, and Shannon's still not answering his calls, so he caves to a friend's suggestion: hire someone to pretend to be his partner. Enter Evan "Buck" Buckley: sugar baby, fire fighter, and the man about to turn Eddie's world upside down.

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 13/19 | 67K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

Re-Read

the secrets we keep (the ones that spill out) by sparegarbage/ @babybucks (Getting Together | 4K | General): Or: Buck and Eddie comfort each other with cuddles, hugs, and kisses (platonically—or so they think).

Tear me to pieces and make me feel whole by justhockey (Getting Together | 2K | Not Rated): And that’s when it clicks. In the pasta aisle of the grocery store, at 10am on a Saturday morning. Buck is frowning as he tries to decide what to get - and Eddie is in love with him.

[avoxrising]

The Feral One • Ch 11

Finnick x Y/N

Series Masterlist Link

I had such a hectic day but decided I wanted to stay up late and upload anyways. Prepare yourselves for a plot twist!!!

Content Warnings - Mentions of suicide/torture

How long had you been here? Weeks? Months? None of that mattered to you. You were happy here.

The capital doctors had fixed you. No more meltdowns over people touching you; no more urges to kill. You were finally healed.

You don’t know why they took the route of healing you while they tortured the others, but who were you to complain? They had made you whole again. Maybe they thought that making you realize the stability you had lived without for the past five years would be a form of torture. Maybe they thought it would make you sad. It didn’t. It made you the happiest you had been in a long time.

The only thing that would make you happier would be seeing Finnick. You know he’s not in the capital. Peeta said he saw him on the screen the other day while he was doing an interview, so you know he’s alive. You just hope you’ll be reunited soon.

Hopefully he will come here and they can fix him too. He may not show it, but his games and the years after have left him with a lot of scars. If he comes, you’ll make sure he gets the same treatment you received.

The power here keeps flickering out. Peeta says it’s cause the dam in District 5 was destroyed. Apparently Finnick and Katniss are in District 13 and the capital sent bombs. Peeta warned them and got extra torture because of it.

Johanna is silent outside of her screams. Whatever they’re doing to her sounds horrible. You don’t want to find out.

“Y/N!” Peeta whispers loudly to you. His room is across from yours and you can hear each other under the door.

“What?” you respond.

“I overheard them talking about you,” he states. “The peacekeepers were talking about your treatment.”

“What about it?” you ask.

“I didn’t hear all of it,” he explains, “and it’s hard for me to know what’s real nowadays, but they said something about a timer going off and how they would make you crazy again. We have to get out before they hurt us.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask him annoyed. “They won’t hurt me. Snow promised.”

Just as Peeta goes to respond, the lights cut out again and peacekeepers enter the hall. They usually set up extra guards when the power goes out in case anyone tries to escape. Why would you escape? You like it here.

It must be an hour later when panic sets in. You hear a hiss coming from the hall and what sounds like people falling over. You don’t have time to think, however, before your door is opened and a canister of smoke is thrown into your room. Peeta was right. They are going to hurt you.

“Did you always love her?” Katniss asks Finnick as they wait for the rescue team to return. All communication had been cut off but the two were still holding onto hope that they would return safely.

“No,” he chuckles. “I guess she snuck up on me.”

“How?” Katniss asks.

“After her incident in the capital Snow killed her family,” he explains. “I moved in with her because she wasn’t stable enough to live on her own. We were scared she was going to kill herself and selfishly I couldn’t let the one victor I had brought home at that point die.”

Katniss nods her head in understanding and Finnick continues.

“I don’t know if I’d even call us friends when I first lived with her. She wasn’t thrilled I moved in and found me annoying, yet I was the only one she would talk to. She wouldn’t even speak to Mags,” he states. “Before Annie’s games my nightmares got worse. I would wake up screaming in the middle of the night completely disoriented. Instead of running or turning violent she would stay. Whenever I woke her up she would come to my room and sit near me till I fell asleep again. Something just clicked at that point and I knew I couldn’t live without her. I still can’t.”

“I never even told her I loved her,” he sadly says to Katniss.

“She knows,” Katniss responds. “And I know she loves you too.”

Taglist:

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*if the tag didn’t work please check your settings to make sure other blogs can tag you

[misspelledwordswizard]

Would you fall in love with me again?

(Any) Link x Reader

So, I had a late night meltdown while listening to the Ithaca saga for the thousandth time and I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't write this.

Summary: You and Link are cursed to be separated and have to meet in the next life without remembering each other, but he doubts how many times you could fall in love with him.

— Do you still remember me?

The unmistakable blue eyes looked at me hopefully, a look full of affection and longing. It was crazy, but I would recognize that look no matter where, even if I had never seen this man before.

It is true that until a few seconds ago I had never thought of him, and I did not even know of his existence, just as I am sure he did not know of mine. But this is different.

I remember, they are my memories, but the one in the memories is not me. I am a different person, in fact, but no matter how many lives pass, I am still in essence. Just like he was.

Cursed not to have our happily ever after, to not be able to rest together, subject to spending each life away from each other, without being able to remember the longing that should be with us, without knowing that somewhere our other half is out there without remembering us.

But no matter how many times we have to go through this, in all of them we find each other, because it is like this, not even the strongest curse could separate us forever.

— You seem different.

— Would you fall in love with me again? Even though you’ve been waiting...

— And what changed?

— I’m not the same person you fell in love with. I’ve been through other things, I live differently. I don’t have clear memories of the man you met, I may be him in spirit, but we’re still different people.

— If that’s the case, then you’ll have no problem leaving me.

— How can you say that? I would do anything for you, I would go to hell for you without even thinking twice, there’s no one else I could love!

— Only my beloved would say that, so I guess that makes him you!

— ...

— I will fall in love with you over and over again! No matter how long it’s been, you’ll always be mine, so don’t say you’re not the one I’m waiting for, no matter the differences, no matter how many lives, I’ll always be waiting.

— Waiting for you.

— Waiting for you, Link.

[multifandomfanficss]

It’s About Time

Ed Nygma/The Riddler x Reader

Prompt: Ed offers to help you with time management when you tell him you’re stressed at work. Your conversation is interrupted by an attack on the GCPD by the Maniax.

Warnings: Mentions of murder, cannibalism, r*pists, abuse, and general graphic violence. Gotham typical violence. Mental health struggles. Sensory issues and meltdowns common with autism. Panic. Near death experiences. Claustrophobia. References to being buried alive. Nightmares.

A/N: I’m rewatching Gotham and I didn’t realize the missed potential for hurt/comfort the first time I watched this show 7 years ago. My work load has been really heavy lately, but this show broke me out of my writers block and I made time for the writing bug. This takes place in the middle of Ed’s Riddler arc. He hasn’t fully become the Riddler yet, but he has already made his first kill. The reader has qualities of an autistic person, but is not explicitly said to be autistic. I accidentally code a lot of my characters to be autistic because I am, but this was more intentional to reflect Ed’s autistic coding. Feel free to read into it or not! You don’t have to be autistic to read and hopefully enjoy this! Crossposted on my AO3 adriansglasses.

“I’ve been so stressed lately.” You sigh. “It’s like I can’t get anything done that I actually need to get done.” You stand in the hallway of the precinct talking to your friend Ed. You were stressing about this case and Jim Gordon was making you go through hundreds of old files for him. You were never part of the real action, but the horrifying crime scene photos and evidence you had to pull through everyday was taking a toll on you. Gordon’s time crunches never helped either. You understood that lives were often on the line, but that didn’t make it any easier.

“What can some people never get enough of and others say is too much? What has the ability to fly when having fun or is stuck completely frozen when you need it to move?” He smiles. You stare at him blankly. You had not been getting enough sleep. You loved hearing his riddles, but you were never the best at giving him the answers. It was so hard for your mind to keep track of it all. “Do you give up?” He asks.

“My brain just isn’t braining right now.” You laugh. “What’s the answer?”

“Time.” He beams, happy with himself. “You should try to implement a better time management plan. You look tired all the time. It’s like you’re not even sleeping.”

“Thanks, Ed.” You give a dry laugh.

“You know what I mean.” You nod in an agreement with him. “You might be the only person who usually knows what I mean.” He says, fiddling with his fingers and the buttons on his coat.

He was right. Nobody quite seemed to get him, but nobody quite seemed to get you either. You had always felt this odd draw to him that you could never quite explain. Truthfully you think you have feelings for him, but you always bury them. He saw you as a friend and he really needed a friend. Besides he had been pinning over Kristen since before you even got to the precinct. You had mixed feelings towards her. On one hand you felt bad for her. She was always getting mixed up with shitty boyfriends who treated her poorly, but on the other hand she had a mean streak. You never liked how she treated Ed. It was like he wasn’t a person with feelings to her and that made you so angry.

“You’re right. I haven’t been sleeping.” You tell him.

“Why is that?” He asks.

“We live in Gotham. With the terrifying shit we see everyday, I don’t know how anyone sleeps.”

“Are you having nightmares again?” He asks, his face painted with concern.

“It’s fine. It’s just work stress. It’s just this case. I’m fine.” You smile. It wasn’t a real smile. Your smiles always came so naturally around Ed that he knew something was off. He was about to press when you heard gunshots coming from down the hall. Your body immediately froze like a dear in headlights in the middle of the hallway.

You’ve had violent people in the precinct before and it always made you nervous, but this was different. The Maniax were on the loose and you knew they were too unhinged to care about survivors or bargains. With Jerome Valeska at the helm, along side cannibals, rapists, and murderers you were terrified. They’d escaped from Arkham days ago and already managed to murder dozens of people. This was far too close to the action for you, as you heard Jerome’s laugh bellowing down the hall from the bullpen; a laugh you remembered from one of your early cases at the precinct. You had felt bad for him and tried to help him when his mother died. You will never forget the laugh he let out when Jim realized he wasn’t as innocent as you’d thought. It ran a chill through your spine.

Everything started moving too fast when you realized you were being pulled down the hall quickly. Once you realized you were holding hands, you tightly grasped Ed’s hand, not wanting to be separated from him. He brings you further down the hall into the ME’s lab.

“W-where are we going?” You stutter. It’s like your mouth can’t keep up with your racing mind.

“Do you trust me?” He looks at you trying to stay calm.

“Ed, what are you doing?” You’re panicking. He can tell. It’s not hard to tell, as your hands fidget and your breathing is heavy. You’re trying to stay calm.

“(Y/N), I need you to trust me.” He places his hands on your shoulders in an effort to ground you with the pressure. You close your eyes and nod, hesitantly. You do trust him.

Ed runs to the cold lockers and opens one, checking to see if it’s empty. He finds a dead body inside. You cringe. Seeing bodies is rare for you and you’re still getting used to it.

“Oh dear… okay… second times the charm…” He mumbles to himself trying to find an empty locker. “Bingo!” He smiles, finding an empty one. The wheels start to turn in your head.

“No! I’m not getting in there!” Your panic increases. Ed shushes you.

“This is our best chance. I promise I’ll let you out as soon as I can.”

“We won’t be together?” Your eyes start to burn. You try to keep back tears. You’re shaking.

“We won’t both fit in the same one. I’m gonna go in the one above you-“

“No no please I- I don’t wanna be by myself! Please don’t leave me!” You cut him off and beg him. Ed awkwardly rubs his thumbs across your shoulders where he places his hands again, still trying to ground you. It’s awkward, but it’s still somewhat calming.

“I’m not leaving you. I would never leave you. I’ll be right next to you the whole time. I promise. I need you to trust me.” You’re not sure if it’s because it’s life or death, or if it’s because it’s Ed, but you reluctantly let him help your shaking body into the mortuary cabinet. When it comes time to let go of his hand and close the cabinet, you don’t want to. Despite quickly running out of time, he knows he needs to be patient. He knows how hard this is for you. He’s always known you’re a bit claustrophobic. He had no idea one of your worst fears was being buried alive. Being stuck in a cold locker wasn’t too far from either of those things. He can hear footsteps far down the hall. The Maniax were never subtle. He kisses the hand he’s holding quickly before closing your locker and climbing into his own. You were surprised by the kiss, but you couldn’t think about that right now and what it could have meant. Your mind couldn’t keep up. He had to leave his own locker unlocked, unable to properly close it from the inside, but he locked yours to make it look more convincing.

When Ed heard you cry, he began to whisper, hoping he could be loud enough for you to hear, but quiet enough for the Maniax to not notice. “It’s okay, (Y/N). I’m still here.” It was enough to quiet your sobs. Tears silently streamed down your cheeks. Ed’s voice had a certain gentleness to it when he spoke to you. He was being especially gentle now. You had seen him angry, upset, anxious, energetic, but his calm voice was reserved for you. Even in this moment when he was admittedly not very calm, he was trying his best to mask his own fears to keep you safe.

You always reserved parts of yourself for each other; parts of yourselves that the other person enabled you to be. You were never as bold as you wanted to be, but when people were rude to Ed you stuck up for him. He brought out a more confident version of you. For Ed, he knew you struggled with staying calm when you were stressed, upset, anxious or scared, even when you were happy. All of your emotions were so big and you rarely knew how to contain them. He tried to stay calm because he knew you saw him as a calming person in your life. He liked being your hero when everyone else only saw him as a weak, odd, nuisance. He also liked that he could read you and that you were honest with him. He trusted you and it helped keep the voice in his head at bay. He didn’t have to question himself with you. He didn’t have to take advice from the voice in his head.

You tried to keep your meltdown as quiet as possible when you heard footsteps approach. They were heavy, not ones you recognized. You knew it had to be one of the Maniax, probably the cannibal. You tried to make your breath as quiet as possible. After what you assume was a poor sweep of the room, the man leaves.

After what seems like hours of being trapped in a corpse you finally hear sirens and then chatter. You hear Ed climb out of the locker above you. He opens your locker and you let out an audible sob.

“I think they’ve gone.” He says, pulling out the drawer to let your body get some much needed air. You start gasping and sobbing, shaking on the drawer of the mortuary cabinet. Your body jolts up. You just want to get away from the locker.

“You’re okay! You’re okay!” Ed catches your body, as your start to fall from the drawer to the floor. You sit on the floor and cling to him, sobbing. At first awkward, he runs his hand along your back, trying to sooth you with the repetitive motion.

“I felt like I was dead- like- like I was gonna get buried alive-“ You gasp for air, sobbing between your words. Ed shushes you.

“We’re okay. They’re gone.” He promises.

You hear fast approaching footsteps. Your brain is moving too fast to decide if the footsteps are familiar or not. You just bury yourself further into Ed’s chest.

“Detective Gordon is here.” He informs you and you relax only slightly.

“Nygma, are they okay?” Jim asks.

“No mortal wounds, they’re just a bit shaken up.” He lets him know.

“You two should probably still get checked out. I need to finish scanning the building for everyone else. So far we’ve got 9 cops dead in the bullpen and… and the commissioner is dead.” He says. It’s almost like you hear Jim, but you don’t. Your mind can’t keep up with anything that’s happening.

After a while you find yourself sitting, waiting for Lee to check you out. Ed had been pulled away for a few minutes to do his job. He didn’t want to leave you, but you assured him you were fine. You didn’t feel fine, but you knew they needed him. As long as you could see him on the other side of the bullpen, you were reluctant, but okay with him stepping away. He left his jacket draped around your shoulders. It helped to be surround by his smell and warmth.

When it was time to go home, Ed guided you to his car. You hadn’t spoken much, but at least you’d finally stopped crying. The car ride was quiet. The only thing that filled the air was Ed’s occasional hum with the radio. Neither of you quite knew what to say. It was a bit ironic considering usually nobody could ever get you two to shut up. You didn’t speak up until he turned onto your street.

“I don’t want to go home.” You said quietly, feeling the panic rise again at the thought of being alone at home again.

“That’s understandable. Would you like to stay at my place?” He asks. You nod, silently. He flicks his turn signal and starts the drive to his place.

“Welcome to Château Nygma.” He smiles, turning on the light. You still have his jacket wrapped around your shoulders. Despite the terror you’ve been through today, his smile is refreshing. You don’t question how he can stay so seemingly sane in times like these, but you’re just glad somebody is. You need that. Maybe you should have questioned it, but you didn’t. He has a nice apartment. It’s not too big. Why would it be for a man who lived by himself? It’s just the right size with cool windows and a comfortable setup.

“Do you want something to eat? I’m a good cook.” He smiles. You don’t know how he can continue to smile, but you’re glad. It starts to make you feel safer. It’s nice to be in a locked apartment with just you and Ed. It’s nice to be in a quiet, secluded place, but not feel alone. It’s far better than sitting on your bed, scared of any serial killers that could be hiding underneath the frame and jumping at any people you hear in the stairwell of your apartment, with an open case file sitting next to you, worried the killers you’re reading about could be onto you any second. Today was a very close call. Too close.

“If you’re not sure, that’s okay too.” He continues, noticing you’re deep in thought.

“Oh…uh yeah… I’m not sure what I want… It’s like my body needs things, but I’m just a little bit too overwhelmed to figure it out.” You look down, shyly.

“Do you want to just sit? I can put on some music?” He questions referencing the record player with his hands.

“That sounds okay. I think I can do that.” You nod. He puts on some quiet music, not too loud to overstimulate you and you make your way to the couch. He brings you a glass of water.

“I can imagine it might be hard for you to have an appetite given your increased levels of adrenaline today, but you should at least drink this.” You take the water from him and begin to sip it. You didn’t realize how nice cold water could feel. You drink it quickly, before setting the glass down.

“Thank you.”

Ed sits down and you gravitate towards him.

“How do you do it?” You ask.

“How do I do what?” He looks for clarification.

“Your job. There’s so much death everywhere.”

“I don’t know. I just sort of do. Honestly I think it’s fascinating…” He pauses, looking away from you. “Sorry. That probably sounds weird.”

“It does, but that’s okay. I like the fact that you’re different and you’re honest. It’s comforting. You’re a better man than all of those crooked cops walking around beating up women and mobsters alike.”

“You think so?” He asks.

“Yeah, I do.” You smile. This time it’s a real smile. Ed smiles too. It’s nice to know after everything he’s done for you to make you comfortable, you can say something to make him feel better.

“I’m sorry all of this has been so awful for you.” He says.

“I know we’re doing good and it’s important to do good in a world of so much bad, but sometimes I just wish nobody had to do it. I can’t even fathom what would make somebody what kill another person. Maybe out of necessity, but it scares me that people actually enjoy it.”

“Yeah.” Ed shifts uncomfortably. You think he must agree with you and that’s why he’s unconformable. You don’t know that he killed Officer Doherty for abusing Kristen just over a month ago.

The two of you talk for quite some time until you end up falling asleep next to him on the couch. He doesn’t mind when you fall into his lap. He lets you sleep, smiling down at you. He didn’t dare move. He didn’t want to wake you. He was afraid of breathing too deeply and shifting too much underneath you. He eventually falls asleep sitting up with you still in his lap.

Everything is peaceful until you shoot up screaming, in a cold sweat. You’ve had another nightmare. This time is different. You’re disoriented. You don’t know where you are. You feel hands touching you.

“(Y/N), it’s me! It’s Ed! You had another nightmare.” You look at his face to see him distraught, unsure of what to do. Your tossing and turning had woken him up. He was awake only seconds before you.

Your eyes begin to well with tears. “I just want it to stop. When will all of this stop?” You cry.

“When will what stop?” He asks.

“Everything! I just want to stop feeling like this. I want to stop being afraid. I should be used to the job by now.”

“Maybe you just need more time to get used to it! I know we talked about time management earlier. I can help you with your schedule.” He offers.

“I don’t want to manage my time. I just want it to freeze. I just wish time would freeze so I could just breathe and catch up!”

Ed looks at you defeated. He doesn’t know what to say. He likes riddles because riddles always have answers. He doesn’t know what to do when there’s a problem with no solution.

“I’m sorry.” He settles with saying. “Would a hug help?” He’s just grasping at anything he’s seen people do when trying to comfort other people with problems and no solutions.

“Yes.” You say quietly, burying your head in his chest. Despite being the one to offer the hug, he’s a little awkward at first. He eventually settles in.

“Is this helping?” He asks.

“Yes.” You tell him. Of course, Ed being who he is, even now he’s still looking for a solution. He doesn’t realize he may be the solution, or at least someone to help make the problem smaller. “You always help.” You add.

“I’m sure most of our coworkers would disagree.” He laughs.

“I never thanked you for earlier today.” You say quietly.

“It was nothing.” He smiles.

“No, Ed. Keeping me safe in a life or death situation isn’t nothing.”

“I’m sure anyone would have done it.” He argues.

“No, they wouldn’t have.” You tell him.

“I’ll always protect you.” He pulls you closer, shifting awkwardly underneath you. “You know… my apartment is always open if you want to sleep with me- I- I mean sleep with me in attendance- I- I mean sleep with each other- I- I mean near each other- you know! In case you have nightmares!”

“I might just have to take you up on that. This is the first night I’ve felt okay enough to be able to maybe go back to sleep afterwards.” You smile, trying not to laugh. You don’t want him to think you’re making fun of him. Truthfully you think he’s sweet and funny.

“You should go back to sleep and since I didn’t get to make you dinner I’ll be making you the best breakfast of your life tomorrow.” He beams.

“You better.” You snuggle into him. Ed is too awkward to suggest you go lay in his bed tonight and you’re too tired to care. You spend the rest of the night on the couch together. You can save the bed for tomorrow night. You know when you wake up in the morning you’ll be coming back. It was the most sleep you’ve gotten in weeks.

Ed wakes up before you and sneaks off the couch to start breakfast. He truthfully was a very good cook. His own sensory issues with food made him very particular about how it’s prepared. You wake up to the smell of something good in the oven. Ed is nowhere to be seen, but you hear him in the bathroom. He’s talking. You knew he often talked to himself, but he sounded like he was talking to someone else. Maybe he was on the phone. You were sure you were hearing one half of a conversation.

“I told you we could trust them. They like me for me. They think I’m a good man.”

[bullet-prooflove]

From the "The Tortured Poets Department Prompt List: Part One" can I please request prompt #9 "Now, pretty baby I'm runnin' back home to you" for Stuart Scola Please 🙏

Tagging: @kmc1989 @trublu2u @noxytopy @district447 @stelacole

Companion piece to:

Every Inch Of You (NSFW) - You and Stuart spend the night together after two years apart.

Escapee - You and Stuart are reunited when a face from your past escapes from prison.

Safehouse - You and Stuart discuss moving forward now you're back in NY.

The Life You Could Have - You get a glimpse into the life you could have with Stuart.

Not How It Works - Stuart knows how it never works that way with you.

Stuart has his phone in his hand, his thumb hovering over Jubal’s number when you walk back through the front door. OA lingers a step behind you, his face troubled as you tuck your trembling hands into the pockets of the black hoodie you’re wearing. You don’t look at Stuart, you merely glide past him and into the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind you.

“Tell me she can’t get out the window in there.” OA mutters as he takes your service pistol out of the pocket of his windbreaker and sets it down on the table alongside the note Stuart found on the nightstand.

“Not a chance, she’d have to be slenderman.” Stuart reports, staring down at the weapon. “I’m guessing you caught her trying escape over the back fence.”

“She seems to forget I used to be a ranger.” OA responds crossing his arms over his chest. “She gave me a mouthful too, I’ve learned a couple of new words today.”

“She’s frustrated.” Stuart sighs as he leans back against the counter in the kitchen. “She doesn’t have her usual outlets and it makes her… impulsive.”

“I know this is a very tough situation for all of you.” OA states, crossing his arms over his chest. “Which is why I’m overlooking the fact she took her service pistol for a walk.”

There is no doubt in either of their minds what your intention was when you left this morning. It’s by the grace of God that it was OA on duty, a man whose known you almost as long as Stuart has, than any other agent. You seeking out Austin Wallace will only end in two ways, you dead or in prison and Stuart would really like to prevent that if he can.

“Look, I’ll come over later and bring my boxing pads.” OA says, rubbing his palm over the nape of his neck. “I can spar with her in the basement, get her to work off some of that excess energy. That girl, she really needs to hit something right now.”

“I’m sure she’d appreciate that.” Stuart says, matching OA’s stance. “Now if you could find a way to incorporate that into your schedule three times a week while we’re here, you’ll be getting a coffee of the month membership for the rest of your life.”

“Hopefully it won’t be for long.” OA tries to reassure him. “We think we have a bead on Wallace, he’s reached out to some of the contacts Sasha gave us. They’ve set up a meet for tomorrow.”

OA doesn’t mention what kind of meeting has been set up but Stuart isn’t an idiot. Those contacts of yours, they’re arms dealers, people who specialise in acquiring weapons. Wallace isn’t looking to get out of the country with a new I.D, he wants vengeance on the woman that stole his voice by wrapping a chain around his throat, shattering his voice box.

The scars on his chest begin to itch because there’s a reason you almost killed Austin Wallace, Stuart has a whole artwork of them etched into his skin.

“That should ease her mind a little.” Stuart tells OA as he hears Jack stirring in the other room. He picks up the gun off the table, opening one of the cupboard doors before he places it on the highest shelf, towards the back so his son can’t reach it.

“How about I go deal with Jack?” OA suggests, placing his hands on his hips. “And you can work on getting Sasha out of the bathroom.”

Stuart sighs before shaking his head. He’s been here before with you, the lack of eye contact, the trembling hands, he knows a meltdown when he sees one. He also knows that you need a little space when you get overwhelmed, which is why you’ve turned on the shower as a way of drowning out the rest of the world.

“She just needs some breathing room.” He tells OA as Jack’s bedroom door opens and his son hurtles towards his favourite uncle. “She’ll come out when she’s ready.”

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[zebulontheplanet]

Let’s talk about my masking, since it’s been a topic I’ve been avoiding talking about.

I’m medium masking. I can mask SOME. I used to be low masking due to my autism catatonia, but thanks to the medication I’m on, I was SLOWLY gaining masking skills back. But now starting to lose it again. It’s one of the few things I was getting back. And this is also your reminder. IF YOU BELIEVE YOU HAVE AUTISM CATATONIA, REACH OUT TO A DOCTOR. Plain text: if you believe you have autism catatonia, reach out to a doctor.

Why? Because Autism Catatonia IS treatable.

I used to be VERY visibly autistic. Stimming constantly, running around, just having that *look* to me. It caused harassment ALL the time. Like literally all the time.

Now, I can mask some. Stimming being the biggest thing that I could mask. However, it did, and still caused me to be constantly overwhelmed, and constantly on the brink of a meltdown. The constant suppression of stims is and was harmful to me, and I am slowly letting go of my masking ability that I have gained back because it’s harmful to me, and I’m just causing myself more harm by doing so. And I’m losing it already and just causing myself more harm by pretending I’m not and trying to hold onto it. I don’t think people realize just how heartbreaking it was to not be able to mask much at all, to being able to mask some, and then realizing that even the small amount of masking you are doing is being extremely harmful to yourself. I’ve also noticed that it’s been detrimental on my mental health, and even physical health as it is causing me to have more catatonic episodes. Why? I don’t know. But I cannot deny that my catatonic episodes, constantly being on the brink of a meltdown or having multiple meltdowns a week, and being constantly overwhelmed, didn’t happen until I started suppressing some of my stims and autistic behaviors.

I am EXTREMELY privileged to even be able to suppress some of my stims. Does this mean I’m not perceived as autistic? Absolutely not. I’m still autistic, and very much perceived as being autistic because of the fact that I’m nonverbal, constantly not alone and with people assumed to be my caregivers, constantly chewing on things, wearing ear defenders, in a wheelchair, and so on.

However, I’ve noticed a drastic change between me as someone who once stimmed very outwardly, then someone who did stim more passively. I haven’t talked about my masking in a HOT minute, because I was like “great! Finally getting some masking abilities back, let’s see where this goes” and then the second I started gaining it back, it started going down the drain again.

Today, I’m laying in my bed. Under a weighted blanket, feeling my skin crawl and having to kick my partner out because I felt like I was going to have a meltdown because I didn’t wear my ear defenders all week even though I needed them. And knew I needed them.

I’ve been so focused on how others perceive me, how they look at me, how they treat me, that I’ve completely forgot about what is best for ME. What is best for MY health. Yes, for awhile I was gaining some masking skills back, and even now, I’m more masked than I was, but I’m losing that again, and it is the most terrifying feeling. The feeling of losing your masking skills AGAIN is terrifying. Because the last time I did, I was struck with so much catatonia that I couldn’t get out of bed and needed help with almost every bADL and lost my speech completely. Now, I know that this hopefully won’t be the case, and the more I accept that I’m losing my masking skills and try not to force it, I will be ok hopefully and not fall back into that.

Autism Catatonia has taken everything from me before, and it’s continuing to take so much from me again. However, I cannot justify continuing to put myself through the literal torture of masking, putting my health at risk with more catatonic episodes, and the like. I know, it’s an extreme privilege to even start unmasking, yet I don’t feel like I have a choice, or even a say in the matter. The more days that go by, I’m losing the ability whether I like it or not. I’m not going through my “silly little unmasking journey”, I’m losing a vital skill that is made to protect autistic people against my will. And the more I fight against it, the more I’ll just cause myself harm. I cannot risk falling back into more catatonic episodes. I’m in college. I cannot risk that.

For all my autism catatonia baddies out there losing their ability to mask and in a complicated relationship with it, I see you, and you aren’t alone in this.

Autism Catatonia is so complicated, and I feel like the more I try and fit myself into the box that I used to be, the more harm I’m causing myself. So, here’s to a new chapter. A new chapter of accepting that I shouldn’t mask so I don’t have catatonia. A new chapter of accepting that I’m losing my masking skills again. A new chapter of being my autistic self again, and not worrying what other people think of me.

[the-bitter-ocean]

Howdy! As you know the lovely @pixxyofice made a timeloop support group au for ISAT featuring mine and other mutuals aus that we made. I wanted to post the writing I did based on the awesome fic that Pix wrote, which you can read here! This writing as well as the Au in general is set post game so full game spoilers are expected.

(The order of the loopers arriving is Odile -> Mirabelle -> Isabeau -> Siffrin) so for chronological order read Odile’s POV first, then Mira’s then, Isa’s POV. WRITING IS UNDER THE CUT:

{ It is 7:07 pm.}

{ You are currently walking back home to your family, carrying a bag of books in your left hand and a bag of fruits in your right. }

{ You are very excited!!}

{ Your whole family is going to read stories alongside you together!}

{ You whistle to yourself happily.}

{ You hadn’t had the chance to do a book club meeting in practically forever- Madame Odile insisted that you wait until your health fully recovered back to normal. }

{ It was a smart idea to listen to her, so you did your best to not over exert yourself.}

{ You knew that she was right but you still couldn’t help feeling anxious and restless during that time.}

{ You hadn’t fully adjusted to the idea of not needing to heal anyone or not being able to do something productive.}

{That initial week was kind of a nightmare in more ways than one!}

{ You cringe a little at the thought of it.}

{ But it’s different now!}

{ You’ve been doing really good lately! }

{…}

{ Some days are easier than others.}

{ None of that matters though! You’re almost home!}

{ You approach the clock tower.}

{ You wish you could be more honest in how you feel with your family.}

{ You wish that your family could be able to truly understand how the loops changed you.}

{You wish for the courage to be able confide in your family again without fear.}

{ You sigh.}

{ There’s no use daydreaming about that now!}

{ This is a new day for you!}

{ There’s no need to think about the loops at all! }

{ With newfound resolve you reach out to open the door and you-}

{ …?! }

{ WHERE THE CRAB ARE YOU?}

{ You look up to see a sign on a building that has “TIME LOOP SURVIVORS SUPPORT GROUP” plastered on the front. }

{ You stare in disbelief. }

{You don’t know where you are. You don’t see anyone familiar. You try not to panic. }

{ You pinch yourself hard, once twice thrice!}

{Your arm is lightly bruised now.. so you’re probably not dreaming?}

{ A familiar dread kicks in and you reach to touch your ears in confirmation. }

{ The crescent moon earrings sway back and forth- going ding ding! }

{ Not in the loops. Probably. Hopefully.}

{ Change please give you strength to not have a meltdown in the middle of nowhere. That would be embarrassing. }

{You breathe in and out slowly.}

{ The quicker you figure this all out, the quicker you can return home.}

{ You can do this Mirabelle! Just go inside and ask for help on how to get home! }

{ You cautiously go inside the building.}

[katnissmellarkkk]

Yall I did it!!! I actually finished the chapter! Okay so now I was thinking seriously of splitting this chapter in two parts but in the end, I couldn’t find a good, satisfying place to break them in half so… here’s a really long chapter! Hopefully you guys don’t mind 🩷🩷🩷🩷

Okay well anyways, God bless all of you and thank you so much for continuing to read my stuff, following my page here, giving me kudos and especially all the really nice, wonderful comments! Those are like instant serotonin to my brain 🤍.

Anyways hope you enjoy!

-

It doesn’t take long for Peeta to arrive home. After our call ended, with me tearfully proclaiming I need you, all I could manage to do was stare at the clock. Stare at it and count the minutes until my husband was here with me and not lingering in town, vulnerable and unaware of the most recent turn of events.

Not lingering in town, where Vulcan could find him and follow through with his threat to take Peeta’s life.

I almost choke as the possibility dawns on me. For some reason, in the hours since I awoke, the prospect of Vulcan the Stalker harming Peeta had yet to even cross my mind.

And my head wound throbs and my side aches something awful as the image fills my mind. The image of the person I love most in the world, lying in a pool of his own blood, slowly dying from a wound inflicted by a monster, who for some deranged reason chose me to be the object of his affection. My chest hurts at the very concept that Peeta could be gravely injured and I would be none the wiser. The mere idea quite literally takes my breath away.

The mere idea that what happened to me could happen to Peeta makes my eyes fill up, and I wonder if I begin to hyperventilate how much it’ll damage the stitches in my side. How much can I move before I damage the seams holding my hip together and keeping me from bleeding out all over the bed.

But — thankfully — I don’t have time to find out. Because before I can have a full meltdown, much like the one I already had upon waking up and finding myself stitched together like one of Prim’s old rag dolls, my husband’s stomp booms as he comes up the stairs, apparently taking them three at a time.

And I’ve never been so grateful for his gait. I’ve never been so grateful that he’s as loud as a bear on a wild chase.

I only wish we could be alone. I wish we could just have a moment to ourselves. But there’s still Enforcers in our hall, conferring quietly among themselves, with no end to their visit in sight. Actually, it’s not just the hall. There is still Enforcers everywhere on our property.

On our lawn, in our kitchen, on the porch, in the living room, the office, the backyard, down the road.

And especially in the spare room where I painted the floor scarlet with my blood. They’ve all been taking turns rotating in and out of that room for as long as I’ve been coherent.

One of the Enforcers — a younger male, who I haven’t had to personally speak to — attempts to stop Peeta as he rushes to get to me, his eyes dark and wild and intense.

“Sir, I’m sorry,” the young lawman says, his tone all business and detached. Like my near death experience is nothing but a bore to him. “This whole house is a crime scene. You can’t be in here-”

“She’s my wife,” Peeta simply states, as if that changes everything.

Because it does. To me and to him.

Because for as long as that handcrafted ring is on my finger, wherever I am, he belongs too. There’s nowhere I could be that Peeta wouldn’t follow. There’s nothing that could keep me away from him.

Read The Rest On AO3

[thatbxolivia]

christmas was usually not a time of year your daddy enjoyed. it was usually treated as just any other day and he really never bothered to explain why. you, however, absolutely adored the holiday, and for that reason alone, he was willing to indulge at least a little.

so there the two of you sat, on the floor, surrounded by ornaments. you were adding hooks to all of them so they could be neatly placed on the tree. you had picked a pink and black theme this year, and your daddy was happy to oblige your decoration request. you went for a cute/punk look and felt it was the perfect metaphor for the relationship you two shared.

“daddy, can you pass me more hooks?” you asked politely. your daddy hummed in response and handed you a few more. you thanked him and went straight back to work.

“are you having fun, kiddo?” he asked you, focused on the project at hand.

“i am, daddy!” you said, finishing the last ornament with your daddy soon following suit. “all done!” you danced lightly in your seat, excited to get to decorating.

“well, what are we waiting for?” your daddy asked, motioning towards the tree sitting in the corner. you squealed and picked up a handful of ornaments, immediately placing them on the tree. you didn’t have an exact map out of where you wanted every little thing, just a general finished look in mind. your daddy handed the ornaments to you as you placed them, knowing you wanted to do this part for yourself. he would reach the taller decorations when you couldn’t and would place them wherever you asked. soon enough, the tree had all of its ornaments, and all that was left were the lights.

“why don’t you let me handle this one?” daddy said, remembering the meltdown that ensued the year prior when you couldn’t get them untangled soon enough. you were embarrassed at the thought and agreed.

“okay, daddy.” you said softly.

“now, don’t sulk.” he told you, walking over and ruffling your hair slightly. “i’m just looking out for you, that’s all, baby.” he said. you nodded, watching as he expertly untangled the lights and threaded them through the tree branches. he plugged them in, and there sat your beautiful pink and black christmas tree with pink lights and a black bow tree topper. you were absolutely thrilled with your final result, and looked to daddy for approval.

“daddy, do you like it?” you asked hopefully.

“i love it.” he told you. “and you.”

you jumped with excitement and clapped, always loving the aesthetic of a lit up christmas tree.

“can i take my nap out here, daddy?” you asked politely, wanting to fall asleep to the lights. your daddy chuckled and nodded.

“if that’s what you want, go ahead, kiddo.” he said. you rushed and got ready for your nap, using the restroom and changing into comfier clothes and grabbing your stuffed bear, mr. honey. daddy had made a comfy spot for you on the couch and had your favorite pillow as well. you snuggled into the couch and he began tucking you in, laughing as you wiggled in and got comfy.

“thank you, daddy.”

“anything for you, princess.”

you remember dozing off to the faint pink light in the room as your daddy worked at his desk and knew you were safe.

[merakiui]

hi mera i reread your ceo azul fic and i still can’t get over how well-written it was…i even got an aha moment when i noticed some things that i missed in my first reading

ik there won’t be a sequel which is fine since you’re already writing a lot of other stuff at the moment , but i kinda remember you mentioned before that the fic originally had a smut scene but you omitted that cause it didn’t fit the vibe of the fic which i understand tbh

but i’m curious….kinda like a delete scene of a movie, would you share it if you have already written it? if not, would you share to what was your original idea of the smut scene? if you don’t want to, that’s okay!!!

Hiiii!! :D thank you so much for reading it!!!! I'm happy you enjoyed it!! <3 this ceo Azul is so obsessed... I loved writing his meltdown in that fic the most. Out of every Zuzu meltdown I've written, I think that one is the yummiest. So much emotion and manipulation (from darling) in that scene!!!!!

Aaaa yes!! The fic did indeed have a smut scene planned. 👀 I can happily share what it was going to be. While I didn't write it out, I still clearly remember what it was meant to be. Essentially, Azul was going to knock you up in the panic room-turned-nursery hehe. In the story, he locks you in the room by yourself and then goes off to give you space (which then leads into the meltdown once you wake hours later). But originally (before it was scrapped) he was going to drag you over to the bed and fuck you all while rambling (very delusional and obsessed) about how this will be good for you and him, how you just need time to warm up to this new life, how he's doing all of this for you, how you'll be a great mama to the baby.

But now that I'm dwelling on it, I like the idea of an Azul who can wait for you to gradually soften just enough to allow him to be intimate with you. A Stockholm Syndrome route! Soft, sweet lovemaking with your boss lover Azul. (๑-﹏-๑) hopefully in this unofficial sequel, Azul finally adds more life to the house because in my mind it is the most bleak modernist house to ever exist. orz he needs to put up some artwork or pictures or decorations so it feels less empty and more like a home for two (soon to be three because a baby will inevitably be on the way).

[herejusttosufferalong]

This fandom is having a breakdown daily over the smallest and most inconsequential thing I swear.

Why is everyone having a meltdown about a troll account with 200 followers? Allowing it the in X spaces and giving them the time of day? That’s exactly what they want. All we need to do is report that profile because clearly the owner has an agenda or is just a disturbed person taking celeb stalking to a whole other level.

Also, everyone (me included mind you) is keeping an eye in R, S and A posts when we know they are craving attention and riding the coattails of L success. They will post stuff to drive engagement to their profiles and gain followers. Did anyone had to know they are at Brighton beach house? No, but they are doing things on purpose to mess with the fandom and in, my view to sabotage L image. They don’t want him becoming more successful and leaving them in the dust. Eventually he will realize it and hopefully put some distance there.

I think we need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture:

L & N clearly having romantic feelings for each other. Their 6 month promo tour is proof enough

L treating A as a FWB only. She can try to make it seem more serious than it is but his body language, actions or lack of are telling

L being a nice guy and good person as both N and JB told us multiple times

L being new to this level of fame and still learning (and making mistakes) in how to portray his public image

.