#hopefully! it'll all be addressed

[batboyblog]

Things Biden and the Democrats did, this week #20

May 24-31 2024

The EPA awards $900 million to school districts across the country to replace diesel fueled school buses with cleaner alternatives. The money will go to 530 school districts across nearly every state, DC, tribal community, and US territory. The funds will help replace 3,400 buses with cleaner alternatives, 92% of the new buses will be 100% green electric. This adds to the $3 billion the Biden administration has already spent to replace 8,500 school buses across 1,000 school districts in the last 2 years.

For the first time the federal government released guidelines for Voluntary Carbon Markets. Voluntary Carbon Markets are a system by which companies off set their carbon emissions by funding project to fight climate change like investing in wind or solar power. Critics have changed that companies are using them just for PR and their funding often goes to projects that would happen any ways thus not offsetting emissions. The new guidelines seek to insure integrity in the Carbon Markets and make sure they make a meaningful impact. It also pushes companies to address emissions first and use offsets only as a last resort.

The IRS announced it'll take its direct file program nationwide in 2025. In 2024 140,000 tax payers in 12 states used the direct file pilot program and the IRS now plans to bring it to all Americans next tax season. Right now the program is only for simple W-2 returns with no side income but the IRS has plans to expand it to more complex filings in the future. This is one of the many projects at the IRS being funded through President Biden's Inflation Reduction Act.

The White House announced steps to boost nuclear energy in America. Nuclear power in the single largest green energy source in the country accounting for 19% of America's total energy. Boosting Nuclear energy is a key part of the Biden administration's strategy to reach a carbon free electricity sector by 2035. The administration has invested in bring the Palisades nuclear plant in Michigan back on-line, and extending the life of Diablo Canyon in California. In addition the Military will be deploying new small modular nuclear reactors and microreactors to power its installations. The Administration is setting up a task force to help combat the delays and cost overruns that have often derailed new nuclear projects and the Administration is supporting two Gen III+ SMR demonstration projects to highlight the safety and efficiency of the next generation of nuclear power.

The Department of Agriculture announced $824 million in new funding to protect livestock health and combat H5N1. The funding will go toward early detection, vaccine research, and supporting farmers impacted. The USDA is also launching a nation wide Dairy Herd Status Pilot Program, hopefully this program will give us a live look at the health of America's dairy herd and help with early detection. The Biden Administration has reacted quickly and proactively to the early cases of H5N1 to make sure it doesn't spread to the human population and become another pandemic situation.

The White House announced a partnership with 21 states to help supercharge America's aging energy grid. Years of little to no investment in America's Infrastructure has left our energy grid lagging behind the 21st century tech. This partnership aims to squeeze all the energy we can out of our current system while we rush to update and modernize. Last month the administration announced a plan to lay 100,000 miles of new transmission lines over the next five years. The 21 states all with Democratic governors are Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Washington, and Wisconsin.

The Department of Transportation announced $343 million to update 8 of America's oldest and busiest transportation stations for disability accessibility. These include the MBTA's the Green Line's light-rail B and C branches in Boston,  Cleveland's Blue Line, New Orleans'  St. Charles Streetcar route, and projects in San Francisco and New York City and other locations

The Department of interior announced two projects for water in Western states. $179 million for drought resilience projects in California and Utah and $242 million for expanding water access in California, Colorado and Washington. The projects should help support drinking water for 6.4 million people every year.

HUD announced $150 million for affordable housing for tribal communities. This adds to the over $1 billion dollars for tribal housing announced earlier in the month. Neil Whitegull of the Ho-Chunk Nation said at the announcement "I know a lot of times as Native Americans we've been here and we've seen people that have said, ‘Oh yeah, we'd like to help Indians.’ And they take a picture and they go away. We never see it, But there's been a commitment here, with the increase in funding, grants, and this administration that is bringing their folks out. And there's a real commitment, I think, to Native American tribes that we've never seen before."

Secretary of State Antony Blinken pledged $135 million to help Moldavia. Since the outbreak of Russia's war against neighboring Ukraine the US has given $774 million in aid to tiny Moldavia. Moldavia has long been dependent on Russian energy but thanks to US investment in the countries energy security Moldavia is breaking away from Russia and moving forward with EU membership.

The US and Guatemala launched the "Youth With Purpose” initiative. The initiative will be run through the Central America Service Corps, launched in 2022 by Vice President Harris the CASC is part of the Biden Administration's efforts to improve life in Central America. The Youth With Purpose program will train 25,000 young Guatemalans and connect with with service projects throughout the country.

Bonus: Today, May 31st 2024, is the last day of the Affordable Connectivity Program. The program helped 23 million Americans connect to the internet while saving them $30 to $75 dollars every month. Despite repeated calls from President Biden Republicans in Congress have refused to act to renew the program. The White House has worked with private companies to get them to agree to extend the savings to the end of 2024. The Biden Administration has invested $90 Billion high-speed internet investments. Such as $42.45 billion for Broadband Equity, Access, and Deployment, $1 billion for the The Middle Mile program laying 12,000 miles of regional fiber networks, and distributed nearly 30,000 connected devices to students and communities, including more than 3,600 through the Tribal Broadband Connectivity Program

[polarisjisung]

PETNAMES NCT DREAM WOULD USE

pairings: nct dream x fem!reader

genre: fluff

wc: 0.7k

warnings: hopefully none

notes: this is a little shorter than usual but if you couldn't tell already I'm a sucker for petnames (if you think they're cringy you're just painfully single 😤) so I HAD to make this

MARK — my girl/babe

now mark's a chill laid back guy, and he loves you like crazy but he also doesn't see any need in extravagant nicknames or petnames and he sticks to the classics, he probably won't address you by your name for the most part so he'll just stick to babe. sweet and simple

"that's my girl" is such a classic mark thing, he gets proud over the smallest things you do, he's like your personal cheerleader. It could be something so small as flipping an egg without breaking the yolk and mark would be ecstatic.

RENJUN — darling

nicknames are serious business for renjun, every now and then he'll call you babe but to him it feels too casual— most likely it'll be something very specific to your relationship and how you met but if not he loves darling, it feels the most endearing to him.

JENO — baby/angel/gorgeous

for the most part jeno will stick to baby, sometimes babe but in his softest moments he'll go for angel— it's unconscious really.

but to jeno you're the best thing that's ever happened to him, like his own personal angel— somehow you always know what to do/say when he's feeling down and he's never met someone like that before. you're unique and somehow everything you do feels perfect to jeno, he thinks your soul is so pure, you're his angel.

on occasion jeno will throw a quick but calculated "good morning gorgeous" your way— mainly because it has you absolutely falling apart to the point where you can't even form coherent sentences, but jeno thinks it's cute

HAECHAN — sunshine/sunflower/honey

you bring out the best in him, you're his motivation and you give him so much energy for performances and his idol life, especially when things get tough so calling you his sunshine just feels right to haechan.

haechan probably throws around a lot of nicknames with you, sometimes some a little too weird, but he knows it'll get you smiling

"hey snookums" he'd say casually as he enters the room

"are you talking to me hyuck?"

he'd nod eagerly and you can't help but giggle at his dorky smile

"I love you but please, never call me that again" best believe he'll stick to that nickname for the rest of the week

and of course every time he steps through the door, haechan has to announce "honey, I'm home" like hes in some american sitcom, as if you didn't see him pull up in the drive and hear his keys jingle as he unlocked the door— you love him either way

JAEMIN — princess/pretty

sure jaemin thinks he's a princess but you? you're like the princess of all princesses. plus jaemin feels the need to remind you of your worth day in and day out— you're a princess and so you deserve to be treated like one, given jaemin's practically a king at princess treatment, you'd consider it appropriate

jaemin thinks you're pretty no doubt. in some moments, especially when you don't quite share the same opinion, jaemin will be the first one to remind you, and if you're feeling down "hey pretty look at me" he'd say in that soft low tone of his that's so awfully comforting, with two hands on your shoulder before giving you the pep talk of a lifetime

CHENLE — babe/baby

chenle's not much of a petnames guy aside from a casual babe/baby here and there but you suppose that's what makes it all the more special when he does use them

he much prefers to have a nickname for you that's exclusive to him than using petnames, but if its something you're into he'll definitely try and step up his game, also if he gets teased by his members for calling you by your name

a jealous chenle uses all the petnames under the sun— anything to make it clear you're his girl

JISUNG — (my) love/beautiful

jisung is usually soft spoken but too shy to throw around "I love/like you's" without becoming a blushing mess so his favourite way to subtly remind you just how much you mean to him are through petnames. he truly thinks you're beautiful inside and out, so it's one of the first names he addresses you with.

he likes to switch it up, testing and seeing which ones your smile grows the widest at. he decides love feels right. after all, you were the person who taught him all about it.

[annabelle--cane]

so imagine you're me. and you go to university. and on tuesday the twenty-fourth of september at around 11am you get an email saying that you have a package to pick up at your dorm area's mail desk (let's call this desk A). and you think "hmm, that's weird" because you did not order anything and currently only two people have your exact address and they also didn't send you anything. so your immediate thought is "maybe this is Stalker Dad" because Stalker Dad has a history of finding out the addresses of where you live and sending you things. and you think "hhhhhhh. hopefully it's at least something fun like a chocolate box or whatever."

so you go about the rest of your day and then go to the mail desk at around 8:30pm. and the guy at the desk says there are actually TWO packages. one is a vote by mail application, and that makes sense, it has clearly been redirected from one of your old campus addresses, he gives it to you, that's fine. the other was accidentally sent to the wrong desk (let's call this desk B) in a building that's half a mile away. the guy at the desk says you can either go get it now or wait the four days it'll take to get redirected back to desk A. you want to get this done now and you're also maybe a little bit obsessed with finding out what the damn package actually is. you go to desk B, you scan your ID card, the guy at the desk looks for your package, comes back, reviews something on his computer, and says they actually already sent it back to desk A, and you can either wait for an email alerting you that it's arrived or just check back in four days.

four days pass. it is now friday the twenty-seventh. you go back to desk A. you scan your ID card. the girl at the desk says "ah, sorry, it looks like your package got rerouted to desk B, you can go pick it up from there if you want." you say yes. I know it got rerouted to desk B. they told me a few days ago that they had already sent it. the girl at the desk says "hmm. it might need another day, I'd say to wait to get an email about it."

a calendar week passes. it is now friday the fourth of october. you have received no email about the mystery package. you go back to desk A, you scan your card, the girl at the desk says "ah, sorry, it's at desk B, it will take a few days to get rerouted." you inform her of the last two weeks' events and she says "oh I'm so sorry it should not be taking this long, some weird glitch must have happened." she tells you that the rerouted packages from the last week were all delivered that morning and yours was not among them, your package was logged at desk B as being medium sized so it can't have been some error where they counted the vote by mail application twice, and that it didn't scan right at desk B so they don't even know which mail carrying service delivered it, and knowing that would have at least given you a vague clue as to the contents. she tells you your best shot is to go check desk B again.

so you go about the rest of your day and then go to desk B at around 5:30pm. you scan your ID card, the girls at the desk say there was a package but they sent it on to desk A. you say "well here's the thing--" and tell all. they say "what the fuck." all four of them crowd around a single computer screen to figure out what the hell is going on. one of them goes into the mail room to physically look but comes back empty handed. "the thing is," they say, "is that if there were two packages then you should have gotten two emails, you're sure you only got one?" you're definitely sure, and there are definitely two packages logged on their side. they don't know how this could have happened. they say the last thing recorded is that after spending too long in the system without being picked up, it got sent to the main desk of your campus (let's call this desk C), and that usually means that it then got returned to sender from there.

you go back to your dorm room. you decide to make one last attempt. you call desk C, because it is a mile away and you cannot be bothered to physically go there unless you know you will return victorious. the guy on the phone has you hold while he searches up your name for a suspiciously long time, and then he says that yes, there were two packages, and they entered the system ten days ago, and one got sent on there and then returned to sender. he then says that a third package was registered at desk B earlier that day, but then adds that that was just the mystery package getting pinged again for some reason and nothing is actually there. you end the call.

your mystery delivery existed, at no point was it possible for you to pick it up, it never got scanned correctly, and it is now Gone Forever. no one on da planet earth knows what this thing was. you don't even know if it was actually from Stalker Dad or something much, much weirder. you immediately burst into flames and die.

[willthewiz]

Will's Arc Ties the Whole Series Together

"Will really takes center stage again in [season] 5," Ross Duffer told Variety. "This emotional arc for him is what we feel is going to hopefully tie the whole series together. Will is used to being the young one, the introverted one, the one that’s being protected. So part of his journey, it’s not just sexuality – it’s Will coming into his own as a young man."

So in other words...

Will Byers will receive more attention in season 5 due to his importance in the story. His goals, motivations, conflicts, and decisions will make Will’s story an emotional arc. Instead of Will keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself, he’ll become more open and honest not just to others but also himself. Instead of needing protection and being treated like a child, he will stand up to fight to protect others and make his own decisions instead of doing what others want him to do. To come into his own, Will must face challenges such as going against numerous enemies and trials along the way (internal and external conflicts), and emerge stronger and wiser at the end. Once Will overcomes these challenges, he’ll be able to:

Utilize his strengths and unique qualities to his fullest extent.

Become more self-assured and comfortable in his own skin, no longer needing to defer to others or hold himself back.

Establish a strong, independent sense of self, rather than relying on others' perceptions or definitions of who he is.

Fully showcase his talents, skills, and perspectives, without feeling the need to conform or blend in.

Reach new heights in his career, personal life, or other endeavors where his true abilities can shine.

Will’s story is about self-discovery and growth. He will grow into the fullest expression of his authentic self and potential. His emotional arc will tie the whole series together because in order to defeat Vecna and save Hawkins, Will must stop clinging to his childhood and use that support from others as a stepping stone toward finally growing up and becoming a young man.

And we know Will will always need Mike. Mike is part of the key to Will's self-discovery. Mike makes Will feel like he's not a mistake. He feels better for being different because of Mike. He can be himself because of Mike. And that gives him the courage to fight on. The courage to finally defeat Vecna once and for all. That support from others will play a part in Will growing as a person, thus leading to Will becoming a young man and facing against Vecna.

As I said before, Will’s arc is about self-discovery and growth. He has that acceptance from others such as Jonathan and Mike, and that support will help him grow as a person and become fully comfortable in his own skin. However, Mike isn’t the key because of his acceptance, but rather part of the key to Will coming into his own. Becoming his own person. Will having support is important, but that’s not his story. After coming back from the upside down, Will has been clinging to his childhood. Will’s arc is not about acceptance from others, it’s about him growing up and finding out who he is as a young man. That acceptance and support will lead Will in the right direction toward self-discovery and growth.

"I think Mike is trying to be as normal as possible and try to keep on a normal path." —Finn Wolfhard

"How is he (Mike) this clueless right now? With the Will scene in the car, I remember asking the Duffers, why would he not know this? And they're like, don't worry it'll pay off in the end." —Finn Wolfhard

"I can just tell you that I'm very very excited for what's to come. I think they did a great job with Will's character this season, and beautifully addressed everything they needed to. The way they closed the show is just perfect – the story started with Will, and it’ll end with Will."

—Noah Schnapp

"Our show is an anthem for the marginalized and imperfect, precisely because the Duffer brothers know from experience that the popular and easy road is rarely the most interesting one, and that character, grit, connection, and soul are bred in the same moments that challenge us the most." —Shawn Levy

With Mike and Will becoming a team in season 5 and Will taking center stage, it could only mean one thing...

Byler Endgame

[mr-cha-n]

The Pen Pal Project

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x reader

Genres: Fluff, fluff, and more fluff

Warnings: Profanities, sappiness, cheating (third party), a tinsy hint of angst

Word Count: 10.2k

Summary: Over a decade of handwritten letters later, you can happily say that the Pen Pal Project was your greatest success.

Reaching up into the top shelf of the wardrobe, toppling onto your tiptoes in order to do so, your fingertips brush against a satin, bowed box. Pulling the box down to your chest, you perch at the edge of your large, periwinkle-sheeted bed, gingerly untangling the pretty blue ribbon and lifting the lid off of the top. Leafing your fingers through the stacks of paper inside, you feel a wave of nostalgia enrapturing your body. Your head rolls back, eyes falling shut as your mind is overtaken by memory.

"Honey, the guests will be here soon!" Your husband yells out from down the stairs.

"I'll just be a few minutes! Can you take the cake out, my love?" You call back, praying you have the time to reminisce before everyone arrives.

You gently pull out the first letter from the top of the stack.

April 5th 2007

Dear pen pal,

I am writing to you because my class has signed up for the Pen Pal Project this year. Because I don't know who you are or anything about you, I am going to answer some of the questions my teacher has given us, and hopefully you can answer them too in your reply!

1. What is your name?

My mom said that I shouldn't give out any personal information, so I can't actually answer this question. My friends all call me Dusty, so you can call me that too.

2. What hobbies do you enjoy?

I am really into skating, starcraft, hockey and rocks. Yesterday, me and my friends went out to the outskirts of the city to see if we could climb the big oak trees, and I found a piece of dolomite next to the river! I really want to find a meteorite but they're very rare so I think it'll take a lot of searching. I also play in my school's field hockey team - my mom wants me to stop playing because last week I cracked one of my teeth, but I think she's going to come around when she sees our tournament next weekend.

3. What do you want to do when you grow up?

My dad is a teacher and my mom is a nurse, so my parents want me to go to university and become a doctor or a professor, but I'd quite like to be an astronaut or Indiana Jones, whichever pays better.

4. What's one thing you want to know about your pen pal?

I want to know everything about you (more than one, sorry)! What's your school like? What year were you born in (mine is 1995)? What do you do for fun? Do you like dogs? Do you have a phone?

I'm not sure if I'll get a response to this letter, but if you do want to, I hope we can keep in touch for a long time :)

Yours truly, 

Dusty

May 21st 2007

Dear Dusty,

I'm really glad I got your letter. Some of my friends got letters that didn't even have a return address, but thankfully I get to write back to you and answer some of your questions. I was also born in 1995 so we are same-age friends. I'm finding this year in school a bit harder because of all the tests we are doing, but we just started doing football again in Physical Education so it's not too bad. Sports are my biggest hobby - I do football and basketball and I want to start wrestling this year. I mostly like to go and play with my friends at the park. I'm on some of the school teams, but my friends tell me I'm too competitive to play professionally.

I also really like gaming and reading. I finished the Protoss campaign over the winter break, but I've had to stop now that school has started again. My friends are all really excited about the announcement of Starcraft II, are you too? Will you keep going with the original or switch to the new one?

When I grow up, I either want to do sports or I'll study to work a good job in business or finance. Being an astronaut would be so cool! You'd definitely be able to find a meteorite then.

About your other questions, I don't have a phone yet but I do love dogs. When I'm older I want at least one dog, if not more. Do you have any pets?

I hope that we can keep writing to each other too - it's fun to have a secret friend.

From,

Cherry

January 4th 2011

Dear Cherry,

Sorry it's been a while - I've been really busy over the winter break, but I just had my tonsils removed so I have a bit of free time in recovery to write this letter. Before you ask, no - I didn't wake up during the surgery which I was a bit disappointed about, but I did manage to swallow enough blood to make me throw up after waking up so that was kinda crazy.

I can't believe that your friend did that! One time my friend Jiwoo got suspended for unscrewing all of the lightbulbs in the science classrooms, but that was because of a dare, not her own free will! I've never been suspended before, but I came close for tardiness last year. Have you ever been suspended?

I also appreciated your inquiry into the Heiran - Hyunki situation. I can't believe I forgot to update you in my last letter, and you'll be glad to receive it! Unbelievably, they got back together. I know it's what we feared would happen, but apparently Heiran has made some of her own mistakes in the relationship, so she's willing to overlook the whole thing. Absolutely crazy - I think that she's just scared to break up with him, which I suppose is a fair concern - just not for a 16-year-old. The whole situation really made me think about the purpose of relationships and love. All of my friends keep rushing into relationships this year, and I feel like I'm being left behind. I just don't care as much as they do, but they act like I'm some alien creature for not wanting to make out with someone in the school locker rooms. Perhaps this isn't something you can relate to, but it would be nice to know if you think I'm justified in my opinion or if there really is something wrong with me.

The thought of starting school again after the break is actually making me want to run away to the mountains. My sister is leaving for university and I don't want to go to school without her. Of course, I can't tell her that, but it's going to be really lonely walking in on my own. Plus, my parents' attention is firmly on me now, so I can't mess up in exams this year. The amount of pressure is going to make my head explode. How are you feeling about the year? I guess because you have the football season to look forward to your mind is probably focused on that?

I'm thinking about rejoining hockey this year. Even though it was too much last year, I did really miss it and I think I can better manage my time now that I don't have to be in the choir anymore. I think my mom might have a fit when I tell her, but the way you talked about sports really made me miss playing. Plus, apparently, I need an outlet for all these teenage hormonal emotions seeing as I'm not getting it on in the McDonald's parking lot.

Anyways, I need to get going now so I have time to blend some fruit up before lunchtime.

Yours truly,

Dusty

A chuckle leaves your lips as you read back over your letter. You'd been so worried about who was dating who and, more importantly, who you weren't dating. You were always so grateful for someone to discuss your fears with - your friends at the time certainly didn't understand. You'd had your first kiss a few weeks after you'd sent the letter. A party at a friend of a friend's house had devolved into typical teenage party games and you'd been pressured into kissing a boy whose name you couldn't remember. In fairness, you remembered that he was cute - curly dark hair and sharp cheekbones - but you'd made a joke about not being able to engage in tonsil tennis and he hadn't laughed so you'd known he wasn't the one.

June 27th 2011

Dear Dusty,

I finally asked out Myunghee and she said yes -

Nuh uh, skip that one.

October 23rd 2013

Dear Dusty,

All the kids in the year have planned a big Halloween party to celebrate our last your of high school. It's pretty exciting - apparently, they've bought some major decorations and they're going to set out the host's house to have scary surprises in all the rooms. I wouldn't be surprised if someone dresses up and decides to chase drunk kids around all night. It's a bittersweet feeling - our last Halloween party, but perhaps our best? Do you have any plans for Halloween and the holidays? I'm thinking of doing a Superman costume, but I'm wondering if that's a bit too obvious?

I put off writing about it first because I didn't want to open the letter with bad news, but I wanted to let you know that me and Myunghee broke up. Even though it's pretty sad, I've known it was coming for a while. If you remember my last letter, I told you about the fight that we had about next year, and I think that was really the beginning of the end. I was hoping that we could make it work a bit longer, but she said that we'd just be dragging out the inevitable and I guess she's right. I think I'm still a bit annoyed about the rollercoaster of the last month seeing if she's known the whole time that we should break up but I'll get over it. It's mostly just weird not having her around all the time. Everywhere feels a lot emptier now. I'm glad I can write to you about this - it's a bit awkward talking about it with my friends because they are also friends with her, but I can actually be honest with you. 

Anyway, I hope you are doing a bit better than me. Your date sounded pretty cool - I've always wanted to go on an ice-skating date but I'd be a bit scared of falling over and making a fool of myself so I admire your confidence. If you are still seeing him, I hope he's treating you well. Chocolates and flowers at least once a month - and you can tell him I said so if he asks. If you're not seeing him, I (pre-emptively) can't believe he did that to you! What a jerk...

Are you watching the AFC Champions League final? A few friends and I are going to go down to the bar to watch it together and pray for a good result - either way, it should be fun. I suppose your dad will have it on in the house, but I'll be shocked if you tell me you're going to watch it with him after last time. Best to avoid the flying wrath of a TV remote. There's something about dads and sports, isn't there? I wonder if I'll be like that when I'm an adult. I hope not, but I already get too into it so maybe it's inevitable.

Yours,

Cherry

That date had been a good one as far as you remember, but the memory has become blurry after all the times your husband has taken you ice-skating since. You'd dated that guy for a few more weeks after this, but he made a weird comment to one of his friends when he didn't think you could hear it so you knew he wasn't the one.

Finishing high school and moving on to university had been a formative time for you. You gained a sense of identity that you'd lost as a teenager, and reconnected with your younger self. A smile crinkles your lips as you think about that time. The stupid escapades of adults let loose on their own for the first time, the lifelong friends you'd made, and the wealth of knowledge you'd gained about yourself and about the world. Your husband never attended university so he never experienced any of that, but you suppose he did have his own life-changing revelations during this time.

February 8th 2015

Dear Cherry,

I'm in crisis and I need your advice! I haven't spoken to anyone else about this yet, but I have a feeling building in me that needs to be released and you always give me the best advice. I'm thinking about dropping out of my program. 

I know this sounds super rash and stupid, but I really hate it. I find it so dull and confusing, and everyone else is much better at it than I am. And, if I'm really being honest, I only chose medicine because my mother wanted me to. I would feel so stupid revealing that to anyone else, but I think you already knew that was the case. I'm struggling to keep going with it without the passion that other students seem to have, and when I hear about my friends' courses they sound so much more interesting.

If I actually go through with it, this may be the last letter I write to you. But, given that I survived my mother's wrath, a life studying literature or archaeology sounds so much more fulfilling to my brain even if not my pockets. What do you think about all of this? Is it worth following a passion that may lead to nothing or sticking it out with a stable, reliable path to future success without enjoyment?

As you know, I make very impulsive decisions, so I need your help in deciding whether or not this would be one of those.

Yours truly,

Dusty

P.S. I got asked to the dance by this really attractive guy who works at the coffee shop on campus so not everything is going wrong.

P.S.S. I found a rock which I thought was a meteorite but it was actually a magnetite - better luck next time!

You'd dropped out of your medicine major the moment you'd received the reply. Of course, your pen pal was a lot more supportive of your decision than your parents were but they got over it in time. Your fate had been decided the moment you'd stepped out of your first archaeology class - heart beaming and mind brimming with all of your plans for the future. Despite your parents' apprehensions, it had been the right decision. It didn't take long for your burning enthusiasm and insatiable appetite for learning to be picked up by your professors, and by your second year in the major you'd been invited on an exclusive trip one of your professors was going on with a handful of other students. 

It was around this time that you'd started wondering more about your pen pal. The flutters of your heart each time the small envelope appeared in your dorm pigeonhole had been drowned out by the rush of university life. Reflecting back, your obliviousness to your own emotions makes you shake your head in disbelief. But then, you'd met Daejung. He'd taken you out dancing, brought you flowers and laughed at your jokes, and you began to wonder if he was the one.

May 16th 2017

Dear Dusty,

Officially, you may know me better than anyone else. I know I already sent you a letter this month that you probably haven't even received, but I realised that it is the tenth anniversary since I received your first letter. Not to be soppy, but it truly means the world to me that we've been able to keep up this correspondence this whole time. 

As far as I'm aware, we won the Pen Pal Project. No one else I know stayed in touch with their childhood pen pal for nearly as long as we have, and I think that we deserve some kind of reward for it.

But, beyond any records we must have broken, I'm most grateful for the friendship we have developed. In any other circumstances, I would have said that it was impossible for people who have never met to be each other's closest confidants, but I can confidently say that there is nothing I wouldn't tell you. If it turns out you've been some 60-year-old man this whole time, consider me logged off from this life. 

My wish is that we can keep doing this for as long as we are able to hold pens in our hands, and even then I'd consider getting a scribe to write the letters for me.

As a gift, I feel that it's about time that I tell you my name - my real name. If you (and your mom) still don't feel comfortable sharing yours then Dusty is still perfectly fine for me, but the fundamental disconnect between telling a person your deepest secrets and not telling them your name has gotten too overwhelming for me, so it's time to rectify that.

Yours, 

Seungcheol

P.S. If you still want to call me Cherry that's also a-okay!

The first time Seungcheol revealed his name to you, you remember you'd dropped the letter in shock. As if knowing his name changed things, as if he didn't live a completely separate life from you already. It wasn't like knowing who he was would change anything about your life - you had no connection to him other than your letters - but the intimacy of his name had you staggering a few steps backwards, eye bulging from your head at the fallen letter. It seems rather overdramatic now, but in hindsight it always does.

This letter had been a bit of a turning point in your relationship, beyond the end of the nicknames you'd used for ten years. You'd always felt close enough to Seungcheol to pour your heart out to him in writing, but the closeness you felt was compounded in this letter. You wipe a few rogue tears from your eyes as you read back over it, moved by the raw declarations Seungcheol had been brave enough to express. If you really think about it, this letter was the first time you'd truly tried to picture what your pen pal looked like. Up until this point, you'd been enflamed by his words and unloaded all of your deepest thoughts to him in return, but this was the first time that you'd realised that your pen pal was a real man your age that you were already deeply connected to. The thought had been scandalous in your mind, and the shame that overwhelmed you when you'd met up with Daejung later that day made it hard to look him in the eye. Fantasising about a man you had never seen before had felt as bad as cheating, and the various forms of him that had appeared in your dreams for the rest of the week only compounded your guilt.

August 4th 2018

Dear Seungcheol,

Happy 24th Birthday! It's actually shocking to me to think that we're this old already, but I think mid-20s is a label that suits you well these days. Jokes aside, I hope you have a really lovely day doing whatever it is you have planned. I'll assume you're off bungee jumping with Jeonghan or on an all-inclusive golfing retreat until you tell me otherwise. In all cases, I hope that you are surrounded by friends and family to remind you how special you are.

Also, congratulations on your new job! I can't believe you didn't tell me that you were interviewing for it, but I suppose you didn't want to jinx anything by putting it into writing. I always thought that coaching would suit you - you could scare me into coming to practice any day! You should be really proud of yourself; I know that I am.

You'll never guess who got in contact with me this week! All out of nowhere, I got a message from Heiran of all people inviting me to her and Hyunki's wedding! I guess I was really wrong about that one... For their sake, I hope that their relationship is a bit better than it was in school. I was very surprised to be invited seeing as we haven't spoken in years, but I suppose it'll be nice to see everyone from school again. Perhaps I should tell Daejung that he can't come and you can be my plus one instead - I think you know the couple better than he does!

Another one of my friends just gave birth to a baby boy. All of this marrying and birth-giving is really screwing with my head. As far as I was aware, that's a thing that proper adults do and we're nowhere close to that yet. Even if I know that 24 is a very common age to be doing that stuff, it's still more than my brain can process. Once again, I am left behind as everyone else moves on to the next stage of life. I'm grateful, at least, that Daejung is pretty relaxed about all of that stuff. Hoping we can have a few more years before we start thinking about any of it - I still have so much travelling to do, things to see, and meals to eat before I flush all of my money down the toilet.

Jiwoo got really excited this week because she thought she saw Lee Byunghun walking past her work, so that made me feel a bit better about my life priorities.

Yours truly,

(Y/n)

P.S. I'm spending extra money to make sure this gets to you on time, so if it doesn't you cannot blame me.

P.P.S. My new address is - XXX

That year you and Daejung had finally moved in together. The apartment was small and in a less-than-nice area, but you'd been ecstatic at the chance to live with the man you loved. It had been a rough year before that - Daejung had missed out on a job offer for his dream role and you weren't able to go abroad on an excavation because he didn't want you to leave for months just as you were moving in together - but you'd seen the new apartment as symbolic of the new beginning you two would get together.

You'd also thought a lot about meeting up with Seungcheol that year. Looking back, it was crazy that you never did. Both of you expressed a will to do so, but something had always prevented you from actually doing it. You were completing your postgraduate degree part-time and working a service job that was supporting both you and Daejung at the start of the year, moving in together in the middle of the year, and Seungcheol had gotten busy with his new job in the latter half of the year. Even though you had never met up before, that you weren't able to that year was the first time it felt like a loss.

December 12th 2019

Dear (Y/n),

I've been thinking about you a lot recently. Writing to you has been the highlight of my month for a while now, and I'm so proud of you for everything you've achieved. It's amazing that you're already being asked to go on your first excursion as a proper expert, and I hope that Daejung comes around to the idea of you being away for so long. I'm sure that I'll miss your letters so I can imagine he's feeling much worse about it - but that shouldn't stop you from going. You might find an ancient vase and accidently release a curse upon the world, or discover a new dinosaur! Even if you go and are just digging up dirt with no results, I'll still be impressed.

One of the kids I mentor asked me if I knew what Starcraft was yesterday, and at that moment I really felt my age. I think it's led to some level of introspection I usually avoid, but one thing that has become clear to me is that I'm very grateful for this friendship. I hope that one day soon you can perhaps travel to Daegu and visit, or I can come see you in Seoul. Or perhaps it will take away the great fun of having a pen pal if we meet - you may be expecting someone completely opposite from me and seeing me may ruin the magic?

But the main reason I've been thinking about you is because I finally finished Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982. You were very correct in your recommendation - I can't believe it took me so long to read it! Summary of thoughts: I'm raging and also apologising to my mother and grandmother every time I see them. You have to send me another recommendation now that I'm finished - maybe some sort of mystery or thriller if you know any?

Yours,

Seungcheol

P.S. I suppose I should send you a whip and brown fedora and then you can officially say you're Indiana Jones. 

January 7th 2021

Dear Seungcheol,

I'm glad you had fun on your trip! The picture you sent of the mountains was absolutely gorgeous and was a hilarious reminder that I have no idea what you look like. I keep saying I want to go to Japan but can hardly find the time, but after seeing the picture I really must go now.

I have some big news.

Daejung proposed and we're getting married!! 

I know it's a bit out of the blue - I was surprised too. He's been putting off any mention of marriage for the last few months so I assumed he just wasn't interested but I guess that was all a cover to stop me from suspecting the proposal. It happened a few days after I got back from Vienna. It was really sweet - he threw this big party with all of our close friends and family to celebrate the end of my project and proposed at the end of the night. I was pretty shocked which I suppose was the point, but I'm really just excited that we're taking that step together.

My main purpose for writing is that I wanted to invite you to the wedding. It's a big step, but it wouldn't feel right to get married without one of my oldest friends there. If you decide you don't want to and you want to keep our friendship strictly on paper then I'd totally understand. But if you do want to come, we'd love to have you with us. I'll cover any travel and hotel fees if it means I can have you here.

Your continued support via letter means the world to me. 

Yours truly, 

(Y/n)

The wedding. Oh, the wedding.

A few nights before your wedding Daejung had come to the hotel you'd been staying in that week to finalise all of the preparations and observe some old-fashioned pre-wedding rituals your mother insisted on as if you and Daejung hadn't lived together for years before that. He'd given you a marriage gift a bit early because you were supposed to go straight to your honeymoon in Japan on the day of the wedding. Your heart fluttered in excitement as you opened the box, electrified at the surprise of what your future-husband could have gotten you to symbolise your union together. The reality had been, you could now admit, disappointing. The necklace had been pretty, and certainly not cheap. A silver heart set with a gleaming diamond to match the ring that Daejung had picked out for you. You'd smiled, thanking him for the gift and tried to ignore the discontent brewing in your own heart.

The first time you saw Seungcheol was at your wedding reception. Because of his job and the distance, he hadn't been able to make your morning ceremony, but the fact that he even chose to come all that way meant a lot to you.

"Who's the hunk with the green scarf?" One of your bridesmaids, Jiwoo had asked, pointing out a man standing alone by one of the drinks tables. 

For a moment you didn't want to believe that it was him, but who else would be at your wedding that you didn't recognise? Tall and broad with fluffy hair and a handsome-beyond-belief face, Seungcheol had been a picture to witness. All dressed up in a suit, you thought he looked rather like a super spy or a CEO from one of those corny romance books. In any case, you were shocked to your core that that was the man you'd spilt your darkest secrets to for over a decade now.

"Oh, I think that might be Seungcheol," You breathed, voice wavering with uncertainty even though you were now certain it was him.

"Seungcheol - hmm, why does that name sound so familiar?" Your other bridesmaid, Mirae, pondered, her brow crinkled as she tried to identify the name in her memory.

"Oh my god, you invited your pen pal to your wedding?!" Jiwoo exclaimed, spinning on her heel to give you an incredulous look. 

"Of course I did, I've known him for almost as long as I've known you!" You stuttered, your head still trying to play catch-up after the dizzying appearance of said topic of conversation.

"Why didn't you tell me that your pen pal was so hot?" Mirae scoffed, mock fanning her face in a way that made you feel shamefully irritated.

"Surprisingly, he didn't mention it in his letters." You responded, offering her a deadpan look and an eyebrow raise. She shrugged, but you'd known that wouldn't be the end of that conversation.

About 15 minutes later, you'd finally managed to make your way over to Seungcheol's perch. It was hard to decipher if your delay was because of all of the people trying to talk to you at the same time (perks of it being your wedding) or because of the unexplained fear and anxiety that was bubbling inside you at the prospect of finally meeting him face-to-face. As you finally made eye-contact, and he'd flashed his teeth at you in an infectious grin, you'd felt all of that melt away from you.

"Hi," You greeted, not able to wipe your own smile from your face.

"Hi," He responded, a peace settling between the two of you. "You look really beautiful."

Your face was all ablush and you felt a sense of dread at what would happen if you started like this. Starting down at your dress, you were unable to look back up at him.

"Thank you, I had it specially made," You smiled, your eyes gleaming as he chuckled at your joke. "I really appreciate you coming all this way, it means so much to me that you're here. Please let me know if there's anything you need - have you eaten yet? I can get you some-"

"It's okay, I'm feeling great." His hand reached out to still your own, which you hadn't realised was nervously picking at at skin around your nails.

"I can't believe that this is how we're first meeting," You breathed, a sense of shyness overwhelming you at the feeling of his skin against yours.

"If you ask me, we've definitely met before. Just not physically." His words had your head spinning so much that you were struggling to remember that you were both at your wedding.

"Poetic," You agreed, trying to present at least outwardly calmer than you felt inside. 

"Oh! Before I forget, I got you this." Seungcheol extended a hand out with a small, wrapped box in his palm. "It wasn't on the registry, and really it's only for you so I thought I should give it to you personally instead of putting it on the gifts table."

"That's really generous of you, you didn't have to." You offered him a shy smile, taking the gift from him. The neatly wrapped box had been laced shut with a pretty blue ribbon, and you remember the thumping of your heart in your chest as you undid it. A small gasp involuntarily left your mouth, your hand moving to cover it in shock. 

"Important backstory - I found it a few years after you told me you were looking for it. I wanted to just send it to you then, but I thought that I should keep it for when we met. I never thought that it would take so long to do so, but I hung on to it just in case."

A small chunk of dark meteorite sat in the box in your hand. Looking up and down between Seungcheol and the rock, you felt your eyes well up with tears that you had to force back down to not ruin your wedding makeup.

"Oh wow," Your voice cracked, "Seungcheol, this is seriously so sweet. I'm shocked that you kept this for me."

You felt unable to tell him all of your emotions, hoping that the gratitude in your eyes was enough to express them all to him. The sweet, adoring expression on his face told you that he understood without you needing to say any more.

That, unfortunately, had been the highlight of your wedding.

Not an hour later, it had all gone to shit, starting with a well-intentioned comment from your best friend.

"The wedding is so gorgeous (Y/n), I'll have to take notes for my own." Jiwoo gushed, pointing at all the flowers that had now been revealed as people moved into the outside area of the venue.

"I know, Daejung did a really good job picking out this place." 

"I'm so happy for you two, especially after the whole Vienna situation."

A bolt of alarm rang through your bones as you a struck still by the comment. You didn't miss the panicked look Mirae sent Jiwoo, who looked equally as confused as you felt.

"What-" You tried to compose yourself amongst the rushes of fear that were threatening to render you completely useful. "What do you mean the Vienna situation?"

Jiwoo was now floundering, looking between you and Mirae with a gaping mouth.

"I just meant - I mean, nevermind - I thought... I thought you knew?" The last whispered part had your heart sinking to the bottom of your chest. Mirae was refusing to meet your gaze, and that was telling you all you needed to know.

"Did something happen when I was away?" You demanded, your voice slick with emotion.

"(Y/n)..." Mirae started, but the withering look you gave her immediately stopped her placating.

Four words later and your entire life had exploded. He cheated on you. Whilst you were away, no less. And then, as if it would magically make everything better, proposed instead of telling you.

The look on your then-husband's face when you stormed up to him demanding to know the truth was enough to convince you of the reality of your friend's words. You could now admit, amidst all of the hurt, anger and disgust you felt towards Daejung at that moment, your overriding emotion was utter panic at the thought of having to tell all of your guests that the wedding was to be stopped and annulled. A trivial emotion amongst the personal grief you were experiencing, but undoubtedly the cause of your greatest distress at the moment.

You didn't see Seungcheol as or after it all happened. Any pretence of calm instantly slipped the moment you began speaking to your family and friends - a speech which ended with you in floods of tears being escorted away from the hosts of shocked guests. It was only hours later that you realised that you hadn't said goodbye and, worse, that you'd invited him all of this way just to witness the shitshow that was your failed marriage. Too ashamed to burden him further, you chose not to write to him for months afterwards He gave you space too, and you weren't sure if you felt grateful for it or utterly alarmed that he may just never want to speak to you again.

May 6th 2021

Dear Seungcheol,

I'm deeply sorry for my complete silence, although I suppose I do not need to explain to you the reason for it. My hand has been itching to pick up my pen and write to you every month that goes by, but only now have I overcome my own shame and disgrace to do so. First of all, I have to sincerely apologise for making you waste your time coming to such an awful event. I can only hope that you managed to get a slice of cake before it all fell apart so that I could at least offer you the condolence of a delicious snack. I also must apologise for completely abandoning you during your trip to the city. I was really looking forward to showing you my favourite spots, and I let my own misery get in the way of being a good host.

I hope you are well. As I haven't heard from you in a little while, I don't know what's going on with you so I have little to comment on. But, at the very least, I wish for your good health and general happiness. If you are worried about me, you don't need to be. I have taken the last few months to put my life back together, and I feel like I'm making better progress these days - hence the letter writing. I'm thinking of getting a dog for companionship since I have vehemently sworn off men for the foreseeable future.

I also wanted you to know that I treasure your gift. As it turns out, meeting you and getting a meteorite was the best part of that night, if you'll believe it. I have it kept in a special box on my desk just to make sure that it's safe and that I'll never lose it. I wish I could have given you something in return. If we end up meeting again I'll have to start planning now to make sure my gift is just as good as yours was. Speaking of, you are welcome to come and stay with me any time you want, and we can rain-check that city tour. Alternatively, if you want to ignore this letter and never speak to me again, I'd also understand.

Yours truly,

(Y/n) 2021

May 19th 2021

Dear (Y/n),

I'm so glad to have heard from you, and that you are doing okay. As much as I appreciate all of your apologies, none of them are necessary. If anything, I feel that I should be apologising to you for leaving you in the dark for just as long as you left me - you had a much better excuse too. Although I didn't want to overwhelm you with letters after such awful news, I realise now that leaving it so long was not the right course of action.

I think getting a dog is a fantastic idea. Company is something you'll never lack with a dog around, and I can agree that dogs are much better companions than men.

As for me, I am doing well too. It's mostly just been a cycle of work and sleep, so I haven't got much to report, but I'm hoping for a more eventful summer. Visiting the city would be a wonderful way to achieve this, so perhaps closer to the time I'll write again to arrange coming to stay with you. I would love to see you again soon. My only other news that I know you'd be interested in is that Jeonghan has seemingly met someone. He's keeping all of the details close to the chest, so I'll have to update you in the next letter when I know more, but it's an exciting revelation. He seems very happy, which is all I can hope for.

When I told you that I wouldn't stop writing to you until I could no longer hold a pen in my hand, I meant it. I hope that you will never again think that I wouldn't want to speak to you -it's the highlight of my day.

Yours,

Seungcheol

P.S. I'm sure you don't want to talk about the wedding, but just so you know - he was a fucking fool to let you go.

You remember the relief you'd felt at getting that letter. The uncertainty of whether or not Seungcheol still wanted to talk to you was enough to keep you on edge for the entire 13 days that it took for you to get his response. But, as always, your friend was reliably there for you.

The time you'd taken over those last new months, and the few months afterwards had been tumultuous, but cleansing. In your post-marriage clarity, you'd realised all of the opportunities you'd missed because of Daejung. Deciding that you wouldn't let him take anything else from you, you'd arranged to go on a long excursion you'd waved off for wedding planning when you'd first heard about it. Learning about the project from one of your old professors who'd transferred to Cairo University, you were offered a position on the ongoing expedition in Saqqara. Although Egyptology was not your speciality, your master's dissertation on the mummified scarab beetles found at Saqqara in 2018 and your tutor's reference got you onto a low-level position on the expedition.

Six months in Egypt had been exactly what you needed to move on from Daejung. At that time, your relationship with your closest friends was also on the rocks, and it was really only Seungcheol and your family that you missed during your time abroad.

December 23rd 2021

Dear Seungcheol,

I've finally got some time off over the holiday break, and I'm ready to give you the download of everything that's happening here in Saqqara! But, first, I'm going to have to beg you for the details of your double date with Jeonghan and Jooyeon. How was it!? Was Jooyeon's friend nice? Were there sparks? How many times did Jeonghan bring up embarrassing stories about you as a kid?

I hope it went well - you deserve all of the happiness in the world.

Now, onto the important stuff!

I'm not sure if you saw on the news, but we've made some pretty huge finds since I got here, Obviously, I can't give myself all the credit, but just being part of the team that made it happen is pretty incredible. We've found multiple tombs of dignitaries from the reign of Ramses II. I'm doing a bit of research on one of the tombs, belonging to a military leader called Hor Mohib, but I have to keep taking breaks every 20 minutes to pinch my arm and remind myself that this is reality.

My Arabic has gotten significantly better now - I was rather rusty when I first got here. I'm able to have reasonably complex conversations with the Egyptian members of the team and the locals helping out, and it's pretty cool for my nerd brain to be surrounded by a group of people equally as excited to be digging up ornamental graves as I am.

I'm really glad I came. It's hard to admit, even to you, but my life really fell apart after the wedding. Honestly, I didn't even know if I wanted to keep working in archaeology or if I wanted to jet off to Iceland and buy a farm. And the worst bit is that it's been so lonely since. Losing Daejung was one thing, but I haven't spoken to Jiwoo or Mirae since. I can't bear to look at them knowing that they hid that secret from me for so long. Maybe one day I'll be able to forgive them, but it certainly won't be now. Your letters have been my only sanctuary of human connection in these past few months, and that's something I'll have to add to my list of neverending gratitude I hold for you.

I realize now that I haven’t been very good at expressing how much your friendship means to me, how it's been my lifeline in this mess. Your letters are the only constant, the only thing that feels like home even when I am surrounded by ancient wonders and new colleagues.

And so, I have a confession. I want to see you again. I want to tell you all of this in person. I can't say what will come of it, but I know that after all of these years, after all the letters and confessions and secrets shared, we owe it to ourselves to meet in a way that isn't rushed or overshadowed by anything else.

Maybe we could meet halfway between Seoul and Daegu, or I could take the train down to visit you? I need to see you again, not as a guest at my ruined wedding, but as Seungcheol, the one person who’s known me at my best and worst, and still chooses to write back.

Let me know what you think.

Yours truly, 

(Y/n)

P.S. I've included a small rock I found on the dig - nothing special but it reminded me of our old conversations. I hope it makes you smile.

P.P.S. Please don't feel pressured to say yes, but know that I would really like to see you again.

You can't quite recall what possessed you to write such a bold letter. Perhaps it had been the desert sun, the thrill of discovering something new in something old at Saqqara, or simply your immense loneliness.

Days had turned into weeks as you anxiously waited for a response, checking your makeshift mailbox daily. Then one morning, there it was—a simple white envelope with Seungcheol’s familiar sloping handwriting.

January 17th 2022

My Dear (Y/n),

I've thought about meeting you countless times since our first encounter. After reading your words, I realise that I've been waiting for this just as much as you have. How's this - I'll take the first train up to Seoul when you're back and we can spend the day together. No distractions, no interruptions - just you and me, finally getting to know each other beyond the pages of our letters.

I'm looking forward to me, more than I can express. Until I see you again, take care, and know that I'm counting down the days.

All yours,

Seungcheol

P.S. the best bit about the date was spending time with Jeonghan. No more needs to be said.

You stare down at the letter, your heart pacing as fast as it had the first time you'd received it. Beautiful words from a beautiful man with a beautiful soul.

You'd gotten back to Seoul by the end of March 2022, and, as promised, Seungcheol came to visit you that first weekend in April. When he'd stepped off the train in the bustling station at the heart of the city, you were there to greet him. You'd spotted him standing there, taller even than you'd remembered, with that same easy smile that had always leapt off of the page.

The world around you had seemed to blur as you walked toward each other, nerves fluttering in your stomach but quickly dissolving as he pulled you into a gentle, lingering hug. The connection between you, once confined to words on paper, felt more real than ever.

You spent the day wandering through the city, visiting old bookstores, sipping coffee in quiet cafes, and talking as if no time had passed since that fateful wedding reception. Every shared laugh, every story swapped, deepened the bond you'd forged in ink.

June 14th 2022

Seungcheol,

It feels like only yesterday that we were wandering through Seoul together, but at the same time, it feels like a lifetime ago. I keep finding myself replaying that day in my mind - how easy it was to talk to you in person, as if we'd done it a hundred times before. It's strange, isn't it? How someone can feel so familiar, even when they're a whole new experience at the same time.

I've been thinking about our conversation in the bookstore. You said something about how some stories are better left unfinished, that sometimes the best part of a tale is imagining what could be. I can't stop thinking about that - about how some stories do need an ending, and how others are meant to keep going, even if we don’t know where they’ll lead.

There's something I've been meaning to tell you, but I haven't found the right words yet. I guess I'm still figuring it out myself. It's just that being around you feels different to how I expected. There's a comfort, yes, but also something more, something I can't quite define. It's like we're on the edge of something new, and it's exciting and a little terrifying at the same time. I'm not sure if you feel it too, but I hop you do.

Anyway, I don't want to get too ahead of myself as usual. I'm just really glad we've reconnected, and that we've managed to keep in touch after all these years. 

It means more to me than I can say. Let’s make sure our next meeting isn’t too far off—I’m already looking forward to it.

Until then, take care of yourself, and don’t work too hard. I’ll be watching the clock until I see you again.

Yours, 

(Y/n)

That day in April 2022 hadn't been the last time you saw Seungcheol. You'd made that mistake once in the past, and neither of you was willing to do so again. He continued to come to Seoul to see you, and you travelled down to Daegu to meet him and his friends. Your letters ceased for a while over this time due to the frequency you were seeing each other, but for the first time that didn't bother you.

You remember, with teary eyes, the day that you finally confessed your feelings.

It was 25th September 2022, after a whole summer spent together, and the air was tinged with the first hint of autumn's chill. THe leaves were just beginning to turn, painting the streets in warm hues of amber and crimson as you walked side by side in a quiet part in Seoul. The easy laughter and conversation that had marked your friendship over the years felt heavier that day, as it something unspoken was lingering in the crisp air between you.

You had spent countless days together that summer - visiting museums, trying new restaurants, even embarking on a spontaneous week trip to the coast. Each moment with Seunngchaeol had felt like a dream, a slow realisation that your heart was no longer just content with friendship. But with that realization came a fear you hadn't expected. What if this was enough for him? What if risking everything by confessing how you truly felt would unravel the beautiful bond you had spent so many years cultivating?

That evening, as the sun dipped low on the horizon, casting long shadows across the park, you found yourselves sitting on a bench overlooking a small pond. The water was still, reflecting the fiery colours of the sky, and for a long moment, neither of you spoke. Seungcheol had been quieter than usual that day, his expression pensive as if he, too, was wrestling with unspoken thoughts.

You felt your heart pound in your chest, each beat louder than the last as you tried to summon the courage to speak. The words were caught in your throat, but the fear of losing him if you didn’t say them was stronger. Finally, unable to hold it in any longer, you turned to him, your voice trembling as you broke the silence.

"Seungcheol," you began, your hands nervously fidgeting in your lap. He turned to look at you, his eyes soft and attentive, encouraging you to continue. "There’s something I need to tell you… something I’ve been feeling for a while now."

His gaze didn’t waver, but you noticed the slight hitch in his breath, the way his fingers tightened slightly around the edge of the bench. The world seemed to shrink to just the two of you, everything else fading away as you gathered your thoughts.

"I—" You paused, trying to find the right words, but there were none that seemed adequate to express the depth of your feelings. "I think I’ve fallen in love with you."

The admission hung in the air between you, a fragile confession that you could no longer take back. For a moment, time seemed to stop, the world holding its breath as you waited for his response. You searched his face for any sign of what he might be thinking, every second feeling like an eternity.

Then, without a word, Seungcheol reached out, his hand gently cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing away the tear that had escaped down your cheek. There was a tenderness in his touch, a warmth that radiated through you, calming your racing heart.

"I’ve been waiting to hear those words," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "Because I’ve been feeling the same way for a long time too."

His words washed over you, a wave of relief and joy so overwhelming that you felt your breath hitch. You had been so afraid, so uncertain, and now, with his quiet confession, all those fears melted away. He leaned in slowly, giving you time to pull back if you needed to, but you didn’t. You closed the distance between you, your lips meeting his in a gentle, tender kiss that felt like a promise—one of many yet to come.

Hearing the doorbell ring down below you, and the sound of your husband's voice calling out to say he'll get it, you rush forward to reach your favourite letter - just one more before you return to reality.

November 3rd 2023

My dearest (Y/n),

I'm so glad you're having such a good time in Rome - I'm rather jealous of all of your sightseeing and pasta-eating. Kkuma and I are holding the fort down at home, although I had to be scolded yesterday for breaking the toaster when I tried to make Kkuma some breakfast. I sent some more suncream over in the mail because I know you've already run out and forgotten to get some more - I'm not sure if this letter will reach you first, but if it does look out for the parcel.

Now, I'll admit, the main purpose of my letter is something a little different than simply catching up, as much as I love those letters too. I thought about doing this once you returned home, but you've already had one man declare his everlasting intentions to you after you returned from an excursion, so I thought it better to avoid rehashing those memories (we'll do this again when you're home, but I thought it might be fun to do it this way).

If you have the suncream box already, then you may have a sneaking suspicion of what I'm about to say.

I've loved you for as long as I've known you. As a twelve-year-old kid, I didn't know that was what it was, but the level of obsession I had with writing to you and receiving your replies was beyond any normal friendship. You were always so fascinatingly cool, out of reach, and genuinely yourself. Being in love with your pen pal isn't always an easy thing - the cold sweats I would wake up to after dreaming about meeting for the first time, the constant updates about a life that I wasn't a part of, the announcement of your engagement to another person. I tried to pretend it wasn't real for a long time, see other people, because of how silly I felt about being in love with someone I'd never met.

And then I saw you standing there, in that beautiful white gown with your hair up and that gorgeous smile on your face. Did you know that my hands were sweating when I gave you that gift? I don't think I've ever told you that before. I became certain then that I was completely screwed. Entirely head over heels.

I'll never be happy that that marriage didn't work out for you - all I've ever wanted is your happiness, be that with me or someone else. But I won't lie and say that nothing has made me happier than the consequences of it.

This past year has been the happiest time I've ever known. Every moment with you is filled with such joy, and every moment without I'm left with a record of memories to remind me of the time we've had together. When I look at you, I don't just see my past, but also my future. I see a lifetime of shared experiences, of laughter, or quiet moments that mean more than words ever could. I see us growing old together, supporting each other, and playing trash hockey on the wooden floor of our kitchen.

You are my best friend, my partner, the love of my life. And I want to spent every day making sure you know just how much you mean to me.

So, that being said, will you (Y/n) (Y/l/n), do me the honour of marrying me?

All yours,

Seungcheol

P.S. Please don't feel pressured to say yes, but know that I would really like it if you did.

You fiddle with the precious ring on your left hand, your fingers lingering over the smooth chunk of dark stone in the centre.

A gentle brush of a hand on your shoulders brings you back to the real world, tears now flaking on your cheeks as you sniffle at the words on the page.

"Are you okay, darling?" Seungcheol asks gently.

"Yes, sorry, I know the guests are here now - I just wanted to look at these," You reply, holding up the letters for your husband to see.

You watch his expression soften, a suggestion of moisture in the corner of his eyes as he looks over the written words.

Swooping down, he places a long, loving kiss on your forehead, letting your bodies rest together in harmony for a moment.

"I can't believe they still make me cry," You huff, letting out a soft laugh. "And I don't even think I can brush it off as hormones."

"Seeing that just looking at them has me tearing up, I don't think I can either." Seungcheol smiles, stroking the back of your hair affectionately.

"They're probably getting antsy downstairs, right?" You say, beginning to pile the letters back up into the box.

Standing up, you lean forward to press all of your passion and adoration onto your husband's lips. You can feel his intensity matching yours, his hands finding the side of your hips to keep you stable.

"They can wait," Seungcheol replies, his forehead leaning softly against your own. "They're not the ones who are pregnant after all."

You laugh, a sound filled with both joy and contentment, feeling the warmth of his love surrounding you. "I suppose you're right," you say, a smile spreading across your face. You take one last glance at the box of letters, a testament to the incredible journey you've both shared—one that began with innocent childhood exchanges and blossomed into a love story more profound than you could have ever imagined.

Hand in hand, you and Seungcheol make your way downstairs to greet your guests, the letters safely tucked away in their satin box. As you step into the room, you know that no matter what the future holds, you'll always have those words, those memories, and most importantly, each other.

[transmascaraa]

Reader being sad cause they can't have an animal they love, and they need comfort cuz big sad awehh :(

(example - reader wants a cat but has cat allergy)

multiple characters headcannons!

not allowed.(not a tv girl reference btw)

characters: lyney, gaming, wanderer x gn!reader

author's note: WOAH I GOT THE MOTIVATION TO WRITE SOMETHING. anyways basically your parents don't allow you to have a pet of your choice blah blah blah yk how it is i hope🤷‍♂️ ENJOYY

๑ Lyney

-he will literally want any animal that you want just because it's you who wants it.

-and after seeing you come to him on a random sunday at 16:07 seemingly sad about something, he immediately welcomes you in his home and lets you get comfortable.

-he doesn't rush you or anything, he'll let you calm down first.

-he's gonna bring you a cup of water, or tea, or coffee, whichever you prefer.

-after you talk vent to him about what's worrying you, he's quick to think of a solution.

-"awh.. your parents really are strict... hmm.... how about.." and then it's almost like a lightbulb appeared above his head.

-"i know! i'll buy you the pet that you want, and it'll stay at my place, how does that sound? your parents don't have to know A SINGLE THING." he really wanted you to feel better.

-"but what about Lynette and Freminet-"

-"they'll get used to it eventually!"

-there's no point in arguing with him, he'll do it anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✧ Gaming

-now, if you came to him to tell him about your situation, the outcome would be pretty similar.

-he'll welcome you with open arms inside the warmth of his home.

-he will bring you something to drink, something to eat, preferably some small snack or chocolate bar, as he patiently waits for you to calm down.

-as you finally finish and feel calmer, you tell him about your situation and tell him that you're looking for a solution in some way.

-with that, he puts his hand on his chin and thinks thoroughly about the problem.

-once he comes up with an idea, he will explain it to you in great detail.

-"hmm... maybe you could keep the pet at my place? y'know, it would probably get along with man chai, so it wouldn't be lonely! and of course, whenever you wish to visit, know that it'll be well-fed and never be bored!"

-after a bit of thinking, you finally speak.

-"that's... a good idea, gaming. sure! thank you so much! you're a lifesaver!"

-he hugged you softly.

-"of course, [name], as long as you're happy!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

♡ Wanderer

-uhhhh idk what to tell you at first

-he's gonna be confused at first as to why you're so sad over to being able to have a random animal as your pet

-more importantly confused as to why you're coming to him out of all people

-but okay.

-he will listen to all of your vents and rants intently, waiting for you to finish.

-"okay. and what am i supposed to do about it?"(he was half-joking)

-"are you gonna help me in any way? can i like- buy the pet and you keep it at your place? you'll have to take care of it but i promise i'll come over as much as i can!"

-"are you insane-"

-"PLEASEEEE-"

-"FINE."

-"oh my archons, thank you so much, wanderer!" as you hugged him tight.

-"well, it's the most i can do i suppose. by the way, what's your parents' address?-"

-"NO."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i really like this one

i hope i'll have more motivation soon lmfao

doesn't matter hopefully y'all liked this lol

| @keeyisbored | @mariaace <3

[dotdot-is-here]

Heart to Heart pt.2

Part two is finally here!! I couldn't post this earlier because I'm travelling rn and rarely get wifi (I'm having a lot of fun! :D) for those who didn't read part one, this is inspired by @citricacidprince 's take on the Relativity Falls au

Now let's get to the angsty little Stan twins! I hope i got their characterization right

Summary: On the aftermath of the portal opening for the last time, both sets of twins have some conversations

Stanford is crouched on the floor, pressing his ear against the wooden door while Stanley waits impatiently by the foot of his bed.

"Well? What did they say? What are they talking about?"

Stanford doesn't answer. He closes the door gently and gets up slowly, still facing the wood.

(What does the author- great uncle Mason- the real grunkle Mason- whoever the hell is downstairs even have to apologize for?)

(It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense. Why would he forgive her so easily? So quickly? Heaven knows Stanford wouldn't have let go of it just like that.)

"Why didn't you press the button?" He blurts out.

He can see the way Stanley tilts his head in confusion from the corner of his eye.

"Huh?"

He didn't mean to have this conversation now. He doubles down anyway, "You heard me."

There's a pause in the air as Stan processes the question. As he tries to place Ford's tone.

"..wait, are you serious? You're mad about this?"

Ford turns to his twin and throws his arms in the air. "Stanley the world could have ended! And you don't even care!"

"But it didn't! I get that it looked pretty scary in the moment but hey, now we have a new grunkle!" Stan makes big gestures with his hands in his response, the same way he does when he tries to downplay his way out of trouble with their parents, "I took a risk and it all turned out fine."

Stanford can feel a headache forming, and he resists the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose, "A risk? Is that all you have to say? Stan this is not like the stupid bets you take when we play cards this was a doomsday machine! The warnings-"

His twin rolls his eyes and waves him off, "Oh, warnings schmarnings! Quit being so dramatic."

Ford fumes, "Dramatic?!"

"nothing happened Sixer! Let it go!"

"...this isn't about that right?" Asks Stan, once his words have rung against the attic walls for long enough.

Ford keeps his eyes on his untied shoelaces, "...I asked you to do one thing. I trusted you about the fate of the world Stanley." He makes his way to his bed, still looking down when he draws back the covers and adds, quietly enough his brother hopefully won't hear him, "And you chose to believe her over me."

Before Stan can even think of addressing that, Ford is already snapping, "couldn't you listen to me long enough to take something seriously?"

Stan's expression turns into something cold, buried feelings briefly coming to light.

"Well maybe it'll come as a surprise to you, Stanford, but just because you're smart doesn't mean you're the boss of me."

That night, they sleep with their backs turned against each other.

[billwidoll]

Paparazzi

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Rafe has always been a very privileged person And he never cared about other people's feelings Except from a certain person who was you. When Rafe saw you for the first time he thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world and your voice was sweet, your energy was good your touch was gentle, you were a soul Of person, and Rafe wanted you sleeping on his side waking up on his side. But... you were already married and you had never seen Rafe, But he wouldn't mind ending their relationship. He would win you by hook or by crook

Rafe was standing outside a car dealership waiting for you to show up. Because he knew you worked

And there you were. Getting out of your car and ready to enter the company until...

"Hi, sorry to bother you but I wanted to know if you work here." Rafe says with his best smile

"oh, of course, yes..I work here, is there a problem?" You speak seeing a tall figure standing in front of you

"well...I bought a car here, but the engine broke down" Rafe says clearly lying, he destroyed the engine himself

"Well... firstly I'm sorry and...If you want a free car without any damage, the company will pay." You speak and Rafe gives a smile seeing that his plan was working

"excellent! What do we do now?" Rafe asks, admiring you, you looked beautiful.

"You will have to go into the company and look for who sold you the car, then they will confirm that you actually bought the car and finally you will have to explain how the car broke down"

"Wow... you're really good at your job" Rafe says with his mouth open and praising you

"Thank you very much sir..." You say smiling and trying to ask Rafe's name

"Cameron. Rafe Cameron, but please without formality, am I that old?" Rafe says giving a playful smile and you laugh

"No, no, you're in shape! You look like you're about eighty years old" you say jokingly too and Rafe pretends to be offended

The two of you spend a while looking at each other with a laughing tone and Rafe falls more and more in love with you and you feel a strange connection between you.

"Okay, I think you better go, I hope you get what you're looking for" you say, giving a friendly smile and leaving Rafe at the dealership door and you go in there to start your services

"I hope so too" Rafe says whispering to himself I decide he was going to have you for himself

Some time passes and Rafe gets the free car, he managed to fool the salesman and the company director. When Rafe was about to leave he saw you in the box and obviously he was going to talk to you.

"So? Did you make it?" You ask hopefully.

"Yes, I got a free car!" Rafe speaks with the same excitement as you

"I am very happy for you." You say giving an almost silly smile

"Well, just to finish, I need one more thing from you." Rafe speaks with a treacherous look

"What else can I help you with?" You speak innocently

"I want to take you to dinner!" Rafe speaks with all his charm and it moves you a little

"Well...I...I didn't expect that, well Mr. Cameron. I don't know if it's appropriate, I'm married..." You say stuttering and looking at the floor

"Oh...I didn't know...but there's no problem because we're just two people knowing each other" Rafe says pretending to be innocent

"Still, it's not appropriate, Mr. Cameron..."

"Okay, so why don't you call your husband, hun? It's a good thing I've already made two friends." Rafe talks about giving this tip, already having in mind what he was going to do

"I don't know...." You speak but are interrupted by Rafe

"No more and no less, okay? Relax. I'll meet you two at the Picasso Restaurant" Rafe says, writing down the address on his arm

"Picasso Restaurant? But this is the most expensive restaurant in New York" you say completely shocked

"Yes...it's a restaurant worthy of you, you're not a princess, you're a Queen" Rafe says, looking deeply into your eyes

"well... I think it's time for me to go. It'll be on Thursday, okay? I want you there at 9 pm" Rafe says, leaving you and leaving

It was already Thursday afternoon and you were getting ready to go meet that stranger you were accidentally in love with. You didn't tell your husband about the date, you just wanted to That it was you and Rafe. This was so wrong, but your heart was telling you to do it. You got ready like you never got ready before and then got on a train to go to the Picasso restaurant

When you get to the big, luxurious restaurant, you walk in and the sight of Rafe in a totally gorgeous suit takes your breath away.

He sees you and immediately gives you a huge smile

"You look... wonderful!" Rafe speaks And it makes you embarrassed

"thank you..." You say with red cheeks, Rafe gently takes your arm and guides you to the table

He pushes the chair for you to sit, he was such a gentleman with you

"So? Where's your husband?" Rafe asks with fake concern, he was excited not to have his husband by his side.

"oh..he can't come, he's at work" your husband was actually at work, but you told him about the dinner

"Well... shall we order the dishes? I'm starving" Rafe says, taking the menu and giving a friendly smile

"Then? Why have I never seen you in town?" You say, taking the menu and looking at Rafe

"Well... I'm a single man, my family lives far away... so I dedicate my time to work, from the company to home" Rafe says and you nod your head

"But... you never got married? Or did you want to live close to your family?" You ask, becoming interested in Rafe's story.

"I don't know...I think...I'm a cold enough man that they don't want me around him and well...all the women I've ever been interested in only care about my money"

Rafe speaks and you feel sad for him

"I'm very sorry...." You talk more Rafe interrupts you

"No, don't be sorry. I still have hope..." Rafe says, making you curious

"What hope?" You ask looking deeply into his eyes.

"You." Rafe speaks leaving you stunned, before you can respond, the Waiter arrives

"Excuse me, Mr. Cameron and mademoiselle but have you chosen your orders yet?" The waiter asks

"Well...I'll To want "Coq au Vin", And what will the beautiful girl I'm with want?" Rafe asks, looking at you and you were still trying to think things through.

"The same as you." You speak without thinking, It was probably fancy food

"great choice, and bring a bottle of wine from 1702, please" Rafe says, giving the waiter a smile and taking a tip out of his pocket to give it to him

"Okay... we need to talk, I just came to this dinner to meet you..." You speak immediately when the waiter leaves

"Y/n, calm down, okay? I like you.... when I saw your eyes..." You interrupt Rafe

"I'm married Rafe." You say looking at him

"Really? Because well... If you took this seriously, you wouldn't go out with me" Rafe says, changing a little

"What do you want from me? For us to become Lovers? I'm sorry Rafe but that won't happen!" You speak a little angry and not trying to get anyone's attention

"I want you to get to know me better and see the difference you can make in my life." Rafe says taking your hand gently

"But...I...have a husband Rafe..." You speak almost in a whisper

"You love him, hun?" Rafe asks looking deeply into Seys eyes

"....yes" you say trying to escape Rafe's gaze

"Okay...if you love him, you will get up from that table and never see me again, but if you stay and eat the Coq au Vin With me, and with me who wants to try something."

You are shocked at what Rafe had just said, until you look into Rafe's eyes and see a man who was willing to do anything for you and who would put you on the throne

"Well, what does this Coq au Vin taste like? I hope it's good. And well, I like flowers, I want flowers every week" you say, smiling at Rafe

"For the first time, I think I'm going to be truly happy" Rafe says, smiling from ear to ear.

He couldn't describe in words how happy he was

Well, 2 years later and you ended up marrying Rafe and living happily ever after

And the end :)

[thelunarsystemwrites]

🕸!MuffeteerTale Masterpost!🕸

Where all your MuffeteerTale content can be found in one place! TL:DR of the AU—Muffet takes control of Sans's soul, and essentially makes him a puppet during a no mercy route.

COMICS:

(These are organized based off release date, not chronological order!)

Muffteertale. (First comic made.)

Prequel comic. (Needs to be redrawn lol)

Battles.

What's mine is mine.

Left in the dust.

A fight. (Flashbacks!)

ASKS: (note—only asks with art/are important are here!)

Why did Muffet take Sans's soul?

Rules of the fighting rings?

GKSZGIXGCK COMPLIMENT ANON!!

Happy Sans 👍

Can we ask muffet and Sans questions? (Yup!)

Sans's opinion on muffet?

Has muffet tried taking a human soul?

puppeted.

Muffet's services!

Sans VS other... Sans?

Any benefits to working for Muffet?

Sans's spider outfit.

(Tw: slavery/shaming) Do you know how lucky you are?

Does muffet allow Sans to keep any friends?

Sighhhh muffeteer sans is so cool (thanks moot!)

What's his opinion on the human, and, hobbies?

Always alone?

Can I draw Muffeteer sans? (Yup!)

Marshmallows?

ART:

Muffeteer! (Muffet!)

Doodle!

Control. (Lore important!)

Deals a deal. (Lore important!)

Art practice/Teaser.

Muffintin!

Breaks over lol (doodle)

The Card.

Spider Dance.

Happy muffeteer Sans! :3

Picture this...

NOTE: Asks keep AUs alive! Reblogs keep AUs alive! Likes help, but PLEASE consider reblogging my posts, or sending an ask!

Fantastic artists who drew Muffeteer Sans!

"FREEE MY MANN." Featuring Witch Lust, owned by ant1quarian! and Muffeeteertale Sans! (Art by @ant1quarian!)

"Fanart!" (Art by @skullbonezz!)

An art request @maxxmakes did for me, thank you!

Rules below!

When sending an ask, you may ask Muffet, Sans, or me a question directly!

You may ask questions about other characters, story, generally anything!

This AU will cover mature topics. Such as toxic relationships, drug abuse, abuse, mental illness, etc. I highly recommend you be aware of that! (Trigger tags will be added!)

PLEASE do not long-term RP with these characters! You may give them things to a extent, but don't try to add your OC into the story please! (Sidenote: you can send asks AS your OC, but no guarantee it'll be addressed in story)

FANART IS ABSOLUTELY WELCOME!! Do tag me if you make art of them!! ^^ (however, no NSFW... hopefully that was obviously lol.)

[justkissmewip]

Update 09/08/24

So my plan had been to do weekly updates or something like monthly updates but I can't stick to a schedule nor can I remember what day of the week I last posted so I'm just going to update when I think I have something important to say XD

JKM is currently sitting at around 160k words and I'm thinking that I'll update the demo once I finish Chapter 2 which will probably be at around 200k. That is a rough estimate for now as I still have quite a bit of writing to go since Chapter 2 involves more branching than Chapter 1 does. I'm happy with things so far but of course a lot of things that I don't think about get revealed once I post the demo so I'm sure that I will have to change things once the demo goes public.

I also made some adaptations to some stats and added some new ones for clarification purposes that I will elaborate on once I post the update for Chapter 2, since I think it'll be much easier to address in one post.

Thanks everyone for all the support as always and hopefully I am able to get Chapter 2 finished by the end of September (that's my goal!). No promises ;P especially since I'm probably not going to have as much free time to write as I've had this past month. Character post for E or Jefferson should be out this week.

Cheers,

Lucky

[mackeydoodledoo]

She Wears Short Skirts, I Wear T-Shirts: Chapter 3

Pairing: Bridget (Cheerleader AU) x (Fem!)Reader

Chapter Summary: Continuing on hanging out with Bridget, she invites you to one of her Cheer competitions, however, you have a band competition the same day...

Chapter Warnings: Anxiety, Swearing

Chapter Key: Italics = Thoughts, +*+ = Time Skip, F/n = Friend's name, B/n = Band Name, Bold/Italic = Flashback

Chapter Theme: Aftertaste - Katie Gavin

A/n: n/a

------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Y/n's POV* You walk into school Monday, everything going back to its bleak, bland self...

"Hi Y/n," Bridget comes up to greet you

"Hey you," You smile

The both of you walk around the school...

"Your Sunday go okay?" She asks

"Yeah, I just went to work and finished any homework I had yet to get to," You say, "You?"

"Yeah, I got to sleep in," She says

"That must be nice," You say

"Hey so I have a question," She says

"Yeah?" You ask back, "Shoot."

"This Saturday, I have a cheer competition with the town's independent competitive cheer team," She begins, "It'd mean a lot to me if you came."

Wait...

"This... Saturday?" You ask

"Yeah, why?" She asks

"Band has a competition," You explain, "The competition that determines whether our and goes to State Finals..."

"Oh," Bridget puts on a smile, trying to hide that she was sad

But, she was terrible at hiding her sadness emotion.

"I'll try," You say

"You will?" She asks

"Of course," You smile, "I've never been to a cheer competition before. So it's bound to be an interesting time."

The both of you stop at her first period.

"Okay, I'll text you the details in like... the next few days," She says, "Hopefully I'll see you there..."

She disappears into the classroom.

+*+

You sit at the front desk at the record store...

Man.... Working some weeknights sucks...

But, you were able to make a few extra bucks whilst being in high school.

But the entire place was dead, other than your manager who was in the back, doing god-knows-what.

Hey whatcha doing? I'm at work... So bored... You? Laying in bed, where do you work? The local record store. Oh! I didn't know you worked there. Guess I'll have to come visit ;) It would sure beat being in here by myself. Don't you have a manager with you? I do, but he's always in the office. Part of me believes he only goes back there to sleep and let me do all of the work. Do you want me to come in and keep you company? I'm off soon, so it wouldn't be worth it. 'Preciate it though :) Always. Anyway, I just wanted to text you the information

You watch as your phone dings with the address to the high school Bridget was going to compete at.

Epic, well, I'm going to head out of here and then to bed. Goodnight Pinky. Night Emo ;)

+*+

You walk into the band room, coffee in hand.. You couldn't wait to be done with outdoor band...

"Captain! There she is!" Your bass 5 member greets you

You sigh as you go grab your drum for a sectional.

"You're lucky your drumline instructor likes you all enough to get breakfast," He says, gesturing to boxed up food behind him

"I can take over until you're done eating Y/n," f/n says

*Bridget's POV* You wake up to your alarm and get changed into some simple sweats, but packing your independent cheer team outfit into your backpack.

"I'm heading out," You say to your parents who were at the table

"Okay, we'll see you there," Your dad says

You exit the door and plug in your music as you approach the car parked at the curb of your house.

"Morning Bridge," F/n greets you

"Morning," You yawn

"Want to get coffee before we head to practice?" She asks

"Sure," You sigh

"Hey, you're not your usual chipper self in the morning, spill," She says

"I invited someone I like... And she said she had something very important to do," You begin, "I'm worried she'll miss it."

"First, it'll be her loss," f/n chuckles, "Second, don't let it get to your head today. It's another big day."

You nod.

+*+

You sit with your girls as you all much on catered food.

Hey you, rehearsals going good? Yeah, how about you? We finished, we're packing our equipment into our truck, and then heading to the competition site.

"Okay girls, let's run the routine one more time before heading out!" Your coach yells

You all get up and follow each other to the padded floor for another routine run.

Good luck at your competition. Good luck at yours :)

You board the bus and sit in your own seat as you drive to the competition.

+*+

You step off the bus and follow the coach to check-in. You look at your phone, hoping to see a text from Y/n...

Nothing...

Must be at her competition by now... Or even out on that field...

You set your belongings in the designated area and begin to stretch your body.

+*+

*Y/n's POV* You quickly, but efficiently put your drum away and quickly change into presentable sweats and quickly make your way to your car.

*Bridget's POV* Anxiety runs through you as you travel throughout the school, heading to warm up areas and then to the competition floor.

You've competed in the little Regional class competitions before, and finally earned your wya up to Independent class....

Why am I so nervous?...

As you get into place you look up one more time, hoping to see Y/n in the crowd. Last second, you see someone rushing to the stands. You weren't able to wait any second longer before the music began.

+*+

Your friends split off after they hand you the first place trophy.

"Oh Sweety that was amazing!" Your mom hugs you

"Thanks mom," You sigh into a smile, "I just wish Y/n was able to make it..."

"Oh, you didn't see her as you walked off the floor?" She asks

You blink at your parents in confusion... However, your dad points over your shoulder. Y/n leans against the wall.

"If you're going to hang out with her, go on," Your mom tells you

"We'll see you at home," Your dad says

Without a second thought, you run down the hall.

"You made it!" You practically jump into Y/n's arms

"I said I'd try," She says, "I made it just before you started performing."

So... That person running to the stands was her...

"Do you want to grab a bite to eat?" She offers, "I drove straight here as soon as we got back to the school and I'm kinda starving, and with a routine like that, I'm sure you are too."

Your stomach grumbles...

"You read my mind," You smile

"Come on," She says, "By the way, where's the rest of your team?"

"They all left," You say

"What a shame," She sighs, "I'd wonder if your independent cheer girls would have liked me too..."

"Do you wish for every girl to gawk over you?" You ask

"No!" She says, "Not at all. But, it'd be nice if your friends I have yet to meet would like me."

"I didn't know you cared about first impressions," You smile

"I don't but... Your prized drummer shows up at a Cheer competition," She chuckles, "She's out of her element here!"

You giggle, "Come on, let's get you out of it then."

+*+

Y/n drives to the same diner, and the both of you sit in a booth.

"What's it with you and this place?" You ask

"Could never go wrong with a good burger," They say, "And it's basically the only place I know how to get to by heart."

"Also, how did the band do?" You ask

"We're going to state finals," She smiles

"That's amazing!" You smile back, "I didn't have ant doubts the band wouldn't. They have the greatest drumline."

"Well, not to toot my own horn but we did win the award for best percussion," She says, sounding full of herself

"The town's united Cheer team also took first," You brag

"With a cheer routine like that, I wouldn't doubt it a single second," She says

"When's state finals?" You ask

"Next week," She answers

"That soon?!" You ask

*Y/n's POV* "Well, yeah," You say, "It's beginning to get too cold to do band things. Even if the state finals venue is indoors."

"How will you be able to revise the show on time?" Bridget asks

"You underestimate the ability to change a show with less than a week," You chuckle

"I'm serious!" She says

"I am too," You say, nonchalantly, "There have been times where we have changed a drill set the day before a competition. We all had it nailed in like... Thirty minutes."

"Thirty?!" Her eyes widen

You nod, "You know, if you joined marching band, you'd fit right in with the color guard."

"Really?" She looks at you

You nod again, "They're graceful, badass, and beautiful. They're also scary at times, but that's mostly when we're crossing between them as they spin their props. Did I tell you that they also spin more than just flags."

"I've seen it," She says, "They're awesome."

"Maybe, you should consider giving winter guard a try," You suggest, "I won't force you, but I'll send you some videos from my guard friends. I do winter percussion... As the drum set player."

"Oh, I wonder how you got that part," She smiles

"Well, I started out doing auxiliary percussion, then moved my way up to drum set," You explain, "Drumset is simply an extension of percussion."

"I'd totally come to one of your winter shows," She says

"Well... The ensemble I'm with is out of state...." You sigh, "One of the top 5 groups in the entire country."

"I'll make the drive," She says

"There's a lot of car mileage and gas involved," You attempt to deter her away from making the drive you do

"I don't care, I want to see whatever show you do," She says

"Well then I will keep you updated on my indoor drumline endeavors," You chuckle

+*+

After dinner, you drive her home...

"Hope I didn't take you from family stuff," You say

"They didn't mind," Bridget says, "As always, thank you for driving me home."

"Anytime pinky," You reply, "I shall see you on Monday."

Chapter 4

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Do you think that Ms. Bustier is overhated?

Not particularly. I don't have any strong feelings about her, but she's clearly a terrible teacher who is in way over her head. I totally understand why she sets some people off. If she was a real person that I actually had to deal with, then she'd probably set me off, too, because she so perfectly encapsulates toxic positivity. If you're not familiar with that term, then here's a quick definition:

Toxic positivity is the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. This may take the form of denying your own emotions or someone else denying your emotions, insisting on positive thinking instead. Although setting aside difficult emotions is sometimes necessary temporarily, denying negative feelings long term is harmful because it can prevent people from processing their emotions and overcoming their distress.

Read that definition and then look at this scene from Zombiezou:

Marinette: But Miss Bustier, it's so not fair! It was Chloé, pulling another...Chloé! And...I'm the one who's getting in trouble?! Miss Bustier: Of course you're not in trouble, don't worry! As the class representative, I want you to set a good example for your classmates. Don't give into feelings of anger. Try to forgive Chloé instead. Marinette: I don't get it... Chloé is the meanest person I've ever known. Miss Bustier: Come on... There are much worse people in Paris right now than Chloé Bourgeois. I'm sure people like Chloé are capable of great things. The problem is, they only think of themselves. They don't understand the meaning of love, and we can't force them to change. But perhaps we can show them by setting a good example. That's why Marinettes are so important in today's world; because they have a lot of love to give. I'm counting on you. Marinette: Yes, Miss Bustier.

This is toxic positivity in action. Marinette is told to set aside her extremely valid feelings as if anger is a terrible thing, but it isn't. All emotions have their place and ignoring them can do real harm, a lesson that Miraculous really struggles with. It seems to see "negative" emotions as bad and they're really not. What matters is how we express and address our emotions, not that we experience them. If you want to see a family friendly piece of media do this topic right, then go watch Pixar's Inside Out.

There's also the fact that Chloé is never punished for her actions in this episode. She ruined a gift that probably took Marinette hours and yet Miss Bustier puts the onus to fix things on Marinette, blaming the victim and doing nothing to actually fix the situation. Canon mildly complicates this with Chloé's father's willingness to meddle, making punishing her apparently impossible, but Miss Bustier doesn't even acknowledge that here. The stated logic is that you need to be nice to your bully and that will hopefully magically fix things, which is a terrible lesson that I don't want any kid to learn! What kind of logic is that?

I'll admit that I'm a big fan of "an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind," but that doesn't mean that you should never acknowledge harm or fight back. It just means that you need to be measured in your responses and pick your battles wisely. If this episode was about that, then I'd be fine with it, but that's not the lesson here. There is no point where the wrong done to Marinette is even mildly acknowledged. Miss Bustier's initial reaction to seeing Marinette's ruined gift is:

Miss Bustier: Well, I think this present is wonderful. It'll be my new cosmetics bag! Then I'll be able to think of both of you every time I use it.

And we go straight from that to the toxic positivity.

Something is wrong with this woman. You shouldn't even take this approach with preschoolers! While I could see this being a good final solution to something like Chloé scribbling on Marinette's drawing, Chloé's behavior still needs to be addressed. She is still the one in the wrong here. The one whose behavior needs to change.

This is one of many cases where there are two paths to take with this character. The writers clearly want Miss Bustier to be a wonderful teacher, but they wrote a victim-blaming disaster who shouldn't be in charge of anyone. If you're ever adapting her, then it's up to you if you want to redesign her into her intended self or if you want to lean into the bad writing. I think both paths have merit because the writing is so bad that there is no way to make canon Caline work as a good teacher. She's too fundamentally flawed so you either acknowledge how awful she is or do a major overhaul where she's much less forgiving and actually acknowledges things like the Chloé problem.

[custardcrazy]

i have a Ted logan request! it’s kinda inspired by the tutor piece you wrote but instead of being Ted’s tutor she’s Deacons tutor (or babysitter) instead and she comes over to the Logan household and Ted sees her there and is immediately head over heels for her and is constantly trying to find an excuse to go to whatever room she’s in and stay there much to the annoyance of Deacon and their father on occasion

sorry if i got to specific but you’re my fav Ted Logan writer and I’m happy his requests are open!!!

young as we are

summary: you're deacon logan's new babysitter. it doesn't seem like it'll be anything too special -- until you meet his cute older brother, that is. (gn!reader)

wordcount: 3.8k

A/N: okay so I might've changed around the prompt a teensy bit, but hopefully it still fits what you wanted. i'm no good at writing slow stuff so i got kinda impatient lmao (also. i'm?? your favorite?? you have no idea how genuinely happy that makes me. i'm smiling like an idiot. thank you so much.)

You checked the note you'd written the address down on to make sure you hadn't gotten the wrong house -- okay, all good -- before ringing the doorbell. 

The house itself was pretty nice, just looking at the exterior. One of the perks of babysitting in a somewhat well-off area like this one was that you usually got paid decently for your troubles; and it wasn't nearly as bad as working retail, if the stories you'd heard from your friends were anything to go off of. And kids could be sweet, unlike food service customers. 

It was only half a minute before the door was answered by a balding middle-aged man with a stern expression. Mr. Logan, you presumed; it was probably his voice you'd heard on the phone. 

"You must be the babysitter," he stated directly, not giving you time to answer, "come in, then. I have some things I have to inform you of." He didn't wait, disappearing into the house and leaving the door ajar behind him. Feeling slightly awkward, you followed. 

Once you entered the foyer, he began speaking again. "Deacon's probably in his room right now. He has to be in bed by nine P.M., and he knows that, but I don't doubt that without me being present he'll try to stay up." Indicating some bills on the counter, he continued, "there's some money for a pizza. The number to call is on the refrigerator. Dinner should be at six." 

"Oh, and my … eldest son, Ted." If it was even possible, his tone became more snide. "He should be back in an hour or two. Don't let him bother you at all -- if he gets too annoying, just let me know when I get back later in the evening, and I'll deal with him." 

You barely got out an "uh, okay, thanks" before Mr. Logan was yelling for Deacon. 

He was maybe around twelve, you guessed. It was obvious that he was reluctant to come downstairs, but did so after a look from his father. You smiled at him, but he didn't return it; you didn't really mind. He was at that awkward age, after all. And if your instincts were correct, an overbearing father could inflict a number on any kid. 

It wasn't that you weren't familiar with strict parents -- but it was near-impossible to get entirely used to them. Being in charge of their children meant that you had to be extra careful. You couldn't trust a young kid to not tell on you if you were a little lenient when it came to bedtimes, and you couldn't trust an older kid to not try and put the fact that you were more easy-going than their parents to the test. 

Still, once Mr. Logan had left, you immediately relaxed. 

And so did Deacon, by the looks of it, because suddenly his tense demeanor all but disappeared. 

It was almost frightening how abruptly he turned his attention from his father's car pulling down the driveway to you. 

"You ever watched RoboCop?" 

He asked, with a certain bluntness only preteen boys were capable of. 

"No, I haven't." Encouragingly, you smiled again. "What's that?" 

"I have the tape," and already he was turning away, "gimmie a sec." 

You had the sneaking suspicion that his father didn't have the same enthusiasm for science fiction movies.

And you were right; even during the movie he spoke up now and then to tell you stuff about the characters or the plot. About how "RoboCop could probably take down an entire army by himself". You thought it was kind of spooky how the titular protagonist was a reanimated guy forced to follow cyborg programming to uphold "justice" in an already-corrupt city, disregarding any humanity he once had. 

… Or something like that. Deacon just found the guy "badass". 

By the time that you'd nearly reached the ending of the movie, you were invested. 

But not too invested to not look up when the front door opened, and thus you made eye contact with probably the prettiest guy you'd seen in a while. 

He froze midway through his path to the stairs. 

For a moment, both of you just looked at each other. He looked familiar. 

Oh, yeah, you'd seen him at school a couple times. Passed by him in the hallways or in the cafeteria, maybe. You hadn't really noticed him before, but maybe that was because you hadn't gotten a good look at him. Like now. 

And then Deacon took notice, coughing in an awfully non-subtle way into his fist, and you realized that maybe you shouldn't stare like a creep. 

"Uh, you must be Ted, right?" You laughed semi-awkwardly. "Hi. I'm just gonna be babysitting Deacon until your dad gets home." 

Hopefully you remembered his name correctly. From the way his father had said it, you had expected him to be some flavor of delinquent -- piercings, leather jacket, all that stuff that an uptight man like Mr. Logan would disprove of. A high school dropout who was bumming around in his dad's basement without a source of stable income. 

That couldn't be further from the truth; the Ted you were seeing now was a slightly gangly, floppy-haired boy your age who was looking at you like he'd seen an angel. 

It took him a moment, but he nodded vigorously in response to your question. 

"Yes. Yeah. I'm -- that's me." Ted glanced away, finally breaking away your gaze. "Um. What's your name? I - … I don't think we've been introduced before, dude." Even from your position on the couch, you could pick out spots of rose pink on his cheeks. Even as he focused determinedly on the ground. 

You couldn't help but be hopelessly endeared, so you gave him your name. 

He gently repeated it once, as if trying out how it felt on his tongue. "Oh. Radical." 

There was another brief moment, in which the movie still playing on the boxy television faded into the background. Then, his eyes were back on yours; they were a warm brown, you noticed. 

Apparently, Deacon had enough of his older brother interrupting his sacred movie, because he spoke up again, breaking the silence. "Ted, don't you have stuff to do?" 

You wanted to reprimand Deacon for his less-than-polite tone, but didn't have the chance, because Ted responded first.

"Oh." Seemingly snapping back to reality, he glanced away. "Yeah. Sorry 'bout that." 

Before you could tell him that you were going to order food later, he'd bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time. You heard the far-off shutting of a door; and then a little later, muffled music that had a lot of distorted electric guitar and drums. 

Deacon scoffed to himself, but settled further into the couch cushions. 

You didn't see Ted again that night. He didn't even come downstairs to snatch a slice of pepperoni pizza, and just remained in his room. Maybe he didn't want to bother his little brother anymore, you thought, trying your hardest not to feel disappointed; even if you'd barely had any sort of conversation with him, there was something … Something very magnetic. 

Mr. Logan was back at around eleven, and by that time you were seated by the television once more. Alone, because you'd miraculously managed to get Deacon to go to bed. 

"I'm guessing everything went fine," remarked Mr. Logan, taking off his cap. You were beginning to get used to his clipped tone, and shut off the terrible sitcom you'd been killing time with. 

"Yeah, I left the change for the food on the counter." 

He pulled out his wallet, counting out crisp bills. 

"Did Ted give you any trouble?" 

Taking the money, you made sure it was the correct amount -- why'd you even bother, a man like Mr. Logan must've been specific about everything. "No, not at all. He barely said anything to me, actually." 

He only gave you a noncommittal hum in response to that, not even looking in your direction as he headed for the counter; probably to make sure you weren't stealing any of the change. "Well, good night." 

It wasn't a thank you -- not even close, but you'd take it. You'd been paid, after all.  "Good night." 

Ted's face upon seeing you still was fresh in your mind as you made your way home. And during the next several days that passed. It wasn't surprising, really. Nobody had ever looked at you like that; nobody had ever looked in awe of you on sight. At least, not anybody that had really caught your attention. 

Eventually, Mr. Logan called again. Apparently he had another work thing to do -- not that you were listening closely when he mentioned it. Your heart jumped at another opportunity to see Ted; it was a little embarrassing, really. You weren't some boy-crazed lunatic, pining after a guy you barely knew. 

Well, pining was a strong word. But you did pay extra attention when walking around at school, trying to catch a glimpse of him on your way to your classes. 

(You didn't.) 

This time, your pulse picked up when you walked up to the house. You even hesitated before you rang the doorbell again. But when you did, you heard some general commotion from within the house before Deacon answered the door, looking a little annoyed. 

"Hi," he said, "Dad's getting ready or whatever." 

He stepped aside to let you in. "I thought Ted was gonna answer the door. But he ran off as soon as he heard the doorbell." Sighing, he flopped down on the couch. "Lazy ass." 

As if on cue, Mr. Logan entered the living room, fixing his hat. You idly wondered if he wore it to hide the fact that he basically lacked all of his hair except for on the sides and back. 

"Deacon, watch your language." 

"Sorry." Even though his voice was muffled into the cushions, he didn't sound apologetic in the slightest. 

Mr. Logan turned his attention to you. "You don't need a refresher on anything, right." It sounded more like an order than a question, but you chose to look past it. At least he had offered to jog your memory if needed. The bare minimum was nice sometimes. 

"Yeah, I'll be fine." 

He gave you a curt nod. It wasn't until you heard the garage door shutting behind his car that Deacon sat bolt upright, suddenly energized. 

You looked at him expectantly. 

"Let's watch Ghostbusters," he declared. "Dad thinks it's stupid." 

And so, with little fanfare, you were basically doing the same thing as last time. But instead of dystopia, the setting was mildly less disturbing this time. And the main protagonists were human and likable. No offense to cyborg cops, but he didn't offer much in the way of personality -- so nobody could blame you. 

You were sure you'd seen this movie before, but the memory was vague enough that most of the events were new to you. However, even though you were focused on watching the film, there was something else on the back of your mind. An underlying antsiness; and you had a good idea why. 

Said antsiness was confirmed when, about half an hour into the movie, you heard footsteps coming down the stairs. It took all of your willpower not to look, but you knew who it was. 

It was only until he breached your peripheral vision that you allowed yourself to smile. 

"Hey, Ted." 

Today, he was wearing all loose clothes -- a baggy tee shirt with BLACK SABBATH printed on it in slightly distorted purple font, and what looked like sleep shorts. All in all, it made him look very soft. Like he was planning to do nothing but lay in bed for the entire day. Even his hair was kind of mussed up, a curl or two (or three) sticking out from the rest. 

He returned your smile tenfold with a near-blinding grin. "Hey." 

Deacon, unlike you, didn't have to hide anything. 

"Are you just gonna stand there and stare at the babysitter?" 

Delightfully, Ted flushed, hand flying up to fiddle with his hair. "Uh. No. I was just wondering if I could -- " he hesitated, before continuing, "if I could watch the movie too, y'know. I think Ghostbusters is a totally exceptional example of cinema." You didn't catch the way Deacon narrowed his eyes at his older brother. 

"Okay. Just don't interrupt too much." 

" 'Course." 

You were mildly startled when Ted sat down in the middle of you and Deacon -- you'd expected him to sit on the other side, but apparently that wasn't the case. The younger Logan let out an audible sigh and scooted further away. 

True to his word, Ted didn't speak up for the majority of the movie. But you were aware of his presence in a way that was almost comparable; since you were mere inches apart. He didn't sit still, and adjusted his position every so often, but you had the feeling that was the norm since Deacon didn't mention it. 

However, it seemed by the near-ending Ted reached his limit on not making at least one comment. 

"Dude. I forgot how impressive the special effects are," he mused in his best attempt at a hushed tone. "Must've taken them ages to do this stuff." 

"Yeah," you agreed, glancing over, "it's pretty cool. Slimer really gives me the creeps." 

Ted opened his mouth to respond, but shut up when a loud "shhh!" came from Deacon's general direction. 

For a moment, you and him just looked at each other. Then, not able to stifle it in time, you snorted; he lapsed into a fit of giggles, and as a result of that so did you. It wasn't really your fault -- his laugh was very contagious, even muffled like this. 

Somehow, you managed to get through the rest of the movie without much more incident. Even if your heart lurched every time Ted's arm or leg accidentally brushed up against yours with the way he was fidgeting. 

By the time it was over, it was around six, and so you called to order a pizza. Ted didn't retreat back upstairs, much to Deacon's disappointment, and pretty much hovered around you as you all waited for dinner to arrive. Not in a weird way, not at all -- he just resembled a puppy trying to get attention, really. 

"What'd you think of the movie?" He asked, just after you'd gotten off the phone with the pizza place. 

"It was pretty good," you hummed, putting down the receiver. "A couple moments were slow, but overall I enjoyed it. What's not to like about some guys capturing ghosts and defeating otherworldly entities?" 

"An excellent way to phrase it," grinned Ted, "and I agree most wholeheartedly. The ghost-buster dudes are impossible not to root for." 

You chatted a little more about it with him; his way of talking was a bit unique, but somehow you found it just as attractive as everything else. Sadly, your conversation was cut short by the doorbell. As soon as you'd taken a single step in the direction of the door -- 

" -- I'll get that!" declared Ted, with an enthusiasm that was a little frightening, already moving to grab the pizza. 

"Hey, wait, there's money on the counter!" 

"... Oh." 

Backtracking, he grabbed the cash and resumed his course to the door, covering the distance with long strides. 

It wasn't long before the food was gone; and you unceremoniously stuffed the ripped-apart cardboard box into the recycling bin like last time, hoping Mr. Logan wouldn't take issue with how you'd basically just jammed it in. After Deacon had wolfed down maybe three slices, he'd disappeared somewhere. Probably to his room -- you  reminded him to be in bed in time, lest Mr. Logan stop letting you babysit, and he'd only replied with a dull "okay". 

You were practically alone with Ted now. 

"So, uh." He broke the silence as soon as you returned to the living room. "... Wanna go upstairs? There's not much to do down here 'sides watching more movies." 

"I don't see why not," you said without thinking. 

For a second, he looked caught off-guard just as much as you were, (seriously, what) but recovered quickly. "Cool. C'mon, dude." 

Beaming, he motioned to you, and you were helpless to do anything but follow. 

His room was a bit messy, but you would've found it strange if it wasn't. Posters were all over the walls, Metallica and Van Halen and other assorted bands and movies. In the corner was a shelf filled to the brim with various memorabilia; action figures, guitar picks, markers and books that looked kind of dusty. His laundry bin was overflowing a little, but at least it was confined to another corner. Everything was just so Ted and that was probably the best way to describe it. 

He made his way over to the window, opening it just a crack. "Let's just keep the window open so we can hear Dad pulling in the driveway. His car is super loud -- I think he'd go ballistic if you were hanging out with me." 

You knew he was right, but it still struck a minor chord on your heartstrings -- which you attempted to move past as fast as possible. "Oh, yeah. Good thinking." 

At your compliment, he was all smiles again. 

You felt yourself melt a little, and sat on the bed before your knees gave out or something. 

Before long, you were both sprawled out on the carpet playing a serious game of Uno. For a guy who you were learning wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box, he was pretty good at making you question your own abilities; either that or he was just extremely, ridiculously lucky. He did have an awful poker face, after all. 

He snickered every time he drew a plus four or plus two card, and blanched whenever he didn't have a playable card. Which was cute, but also pretty advantageous for you. 

After a frustratingly long time of going back and forth; of him denying you every single time you dared call Uno, you finally won. 

"Dude!" Ted exclaimed, throwing down his hand as if deeply and truly offended, but you could see that he was grinning again. "That was totally 'cause I let my guard down." 

"I don't know," you teased, "or maybe it was because of my great and unbeatable card-game skills." 

He hung his head in mock-shame. "You're right. I suck." 

You were conflicted between bullying him a little more or comforting him to lessen the blow of your victory, but before you could decide, you both heard the tell-tale sound of tires crunching on the pavement and the whir of the garage door opening. Ted scrambled over to the window, peeking through the small opening he'd left earlier. 

"He's back," he announced, turning back to face you. 

"Okay," you said, getting to your feet and making sure you hadn't dropped anything. "See you later, Ted." 

" 'Bye!" He called after you.

Thankfully, you managed to make it down to the living room, jump onto the couch, and fumble for the remote just in time to turn on the television a good minute before Mr. Logan entered. During that brief time, you felt strangely like you were a spy, a double-agent -- that if you were caught fraternizing with the enemy, you'd be given grave consequences. 

It was hilarious, you had to admit. 

Mr. Logan didn't ask you about Ted this time, just cutting right to the chase and taking out his wallet.

"Is the change on the counter again?" 

"Yeah," you answered, giving him a "thanks" as he handed you a couple bills. You marveled again at how clean they were -- it almost felt criminal to stuff them in your pocket, but what else could you do? 

Once more, Mr. Logan turned away, going for the counter. "Good night." If he was as disinterested as he sounded, it was no wonder why he didn't try to make small talk with you at all. And you were grateful for it; you were sure that it'd just be awkward and nothing else. You rushed a little to leave. 

But just as your hand turned the doorknob, you were stopped in your tracks by a shout. 

"Wait!" 

Apparently, you and Mr. Logan were both equally shocked, because he also whipped around mid-action. 

In Ted's hasty descent down the stairs, he nearly tripped over himself, but regained what little composure he'd been holding onto, and jogged over to you. Either he didn't notice his father standing there, looking utterly baffled; or he just didn't care. In his hands he was holding a cassette tape. 

He held it out to you, still catching his breath. The color in his cheeks could be attributed to his rush downstairs, but you had a sneaking suspicion that wasn't entirely the case. "Here. Sorry. I was gonna give it to you earlier," bashfulness showed clearly in his expression, "but I forgot." 

It was only a second before you realized that you'd have to exit the situation to avoid any questions from his father -- whose eyes were darting between the two of you in an extremely worrying manner. So you took it from him, even whilst having absolutely no idea what it was. 

"Thanks." 

And with that, you were out the door. 

--

The second you got home, you got a good look at the tape. 

On the outside, written in an untidy scrawl in black Sharpie, was your answer. It was a mixtape. How much time had he spent making this for you? Your mind conjured up an image of him sitting by the record player you'd seen in his room, painstakingly selecting his favorite songs to record. 

Flipping it over, you realized there was a scrap of paper taped to it -- a note. 

You hardly had to think about the question hastily written on it with a bright pink marker, with little stars doodled around the edges. 

It was the only thing that was running through your mind for the rest of the night. They were agonizing, the few days that passed before you finally received a call from Mr. Logan again. It was probably the only time ever that you were glad to hear his voice. 

Deacon was a little disappointed when you told him to wait a minute to watch Raiders of the Lost Ark.

"Don't start loudly making out or anything," he said, sulking as you quickly ascended the stairs. You wanted to scold him for the sake of preserving your own dignity, but you had more pressing matters to focus on at the moment.

"So," Ted began sheepishly, after you entered his room. "You got my note, right?" 

"I listened to the tape, too," you answered near-breathlessly. "Yes. I'd love to spend more time with you, Ted." You smiled broadly. "You're really sweet, you know that?" 

He went bright red in response. 

And then ducked behind his bangs. 

It took him a little while to speak, but you were patient. 

" … thanks, dude. I'm really glad," he finally murmured. "I spent ages making that tape, but it wasn't until I was gonna give it to you that I realized that. Like. Just hanging out like this wasn't gonna be enough. At all."

Right now, the main emotion your brain was registering was giddiness. 

"I'm really glad, too."

[whumperstorm]

Suppressing Fire - Part 4

Content: Vampire whumper, defiant whumpee, mind control, death threats, loneliness, angst

This one is twice as long as the others lol

First/Previous/Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the first two years, things remain generally the same. The hostility and abuse intertwined with the mundane of everyday life. For Kane, it's all leading up to something. Something big. And as it approaches, closer and closer, he begins to worry he's not ready. His human isn't ready. She's calmed down a bit compared to when he first got her, but she's still defiant. He still disciplines her with frequency. This is bad.

After hemming and hawing over what to do, he enters the human quarters. Before even feeding, he brings attention to the matter at hand.

"I'm laying my cards on the table. I need something from you."

-----

Keegan has gotten far too comfortable with her imprisonment over the past two years. She knows she has, but there's not much she can do about it. There's a few small opportunities over time where she thinks she might be able to escape, but then she remembers how miserable those two months of recovery with her ribs were, and she lets it go. Too risky. She needs something big.

So she copes. She fights back when she's feeling brave, then nurses the bruises she's given for the trouble. She takes out her anger on the poor abused punching bag and tries not to think about the outside world. Stay in the present. Survive each day and keep your head clear. It'll be worth it.

Still, she can't help but perk up when Kane makes a change to their usual schedule. He needs something and he's not just demanding it? She's curious now.

"Yeah?" She asks.

“There’s this… family reunion next week. Well, not just my family. It’s for all of the important families. Mine’s the most important, of course.” His face lights up with condescending pride for a moment before falling back into nerves. “We’re going, and I need you to behave. What's it going to take?"

That's a lot to take in. A family reunion for a bunch of rich vampires?

On one hand, Keegan is almost excited at the thought, even though she'd only be going as an accessory. She's always wanted to go to a fancy party. On the other hand, she hasn't been out of the house since the doctor visit, and just that short time was terrifying.

"What... exactly would I be doing at this event?"

"Oh, not much. Everyone brings their humans as a sign of status. So this- this is the first time I'll be going." Kane wrings his hands anxiously. "All the others will be under persuasion, obviously. All you'll need to do is follow me around, largely silently, and follow orders if given. It will be very easy."

Honestly, it doesn't sound too bad to Keegan. It'd be the first time a vampire hunter has ever observed vampire high society and (hopefully) lived to tell about it. But, it's clear Kane is anxious as hell about this, and willing to offer her something in return. She's not about to miss this chance. She bites her lip, thinking. 

What does she want? She'd really like her stove back, microwave meals got old a long time ago, and she misses cooking. Or maybe some time outside? She's been breathing stale air for years. But no, there's something else. Something she needs, and this might be her only chance. 

She straightens up, crosses her arms, and looks Kane dead in the eye. "Let me call my sister, and you've got a deal."

"Deal," Kane agrees instantly. "You may make one phone call, supervised, if you behave. That means you will act like a proper human in public. You will not stray. You will obey my orders. You will not speak unless spoken to. You will address me as Master or sir. You will show no signs of defiance or misbehavior. Are we clear?"

Keegan's heart leaps. He's actually agreeing to it? She grimaces at all the ways she has to submit to him, but it's basically meaningless in exchange for that phone call. 

"Yes!" She says immediately. Maybe too excitedly, she doesn't want him getting used to this easy compliance, but she can't help it.

"Good." Kane tries to reign in his own excitement, maintain his dignity. His human behaving herself should be the standard, not something to get out of sorts about.

He has to be serious.

“Just know,” he adds, “that if you defy me publicly, I’ll kill you on the spot. I’ll have to, of course, for my reputation.”

"Of course."

The threat gives Keegan pause, not because she plans on being defiant, but because she's not very good at it. She tends to fuck up even when she doesn't mean to.

‘Just focus on the prize, Keegan.’

"Perfect." This might actually work. Kane might actually be presentable. "Now, your neck. I'm hungry."

---

The week passes in a blur. Kane has the human pick out a nice, classy dress from a catalog- he's never had an eye for women's fashion, and he supposes that at least one advantage of having a human with a mind of her own is she can make that decision for him.

On the night of the reunion, he's an utter nervous wreck. He chooses to drive, not wanting to mess his clothes up running and considering it more comfortable for both himself and the human.

"This has to go perfectly," he mutters, half to himself, half to the human in the passenger seat. "No funny business."

"I got it." Keegan insists for what feels like the millionth time. 

She's got no idea what's making Kane so nervous, he's cagey about anything relating to his family. It’s making her nervous about what's in store. But, it's a reunion. A party. Whatever has got him rattled is probably some sort of petty drama. Keegan shouldn't panic. She'll follow directions, stay out of the way, and hope for the best. And, hey, the dress is nice.

They arrive just slightly early, exactly as planned. As they enter the decadent ballroom, Kane scans for his parents, but neither seems to have arrived yet. There are lots of other vampires here, though he knows many are still to come. He recognizes several members of his family and of other noble families, but no one he's close to. Each vampire has a perfectly hypnotized human beside them, and it only makes him more self-conscious.

Worse, he gets looks and whispers. He tries to fight the blush that he knows is creeping up his face as he looks around for anyone at all who he knows well enough to chat with.

Unfortunately, just as he's contemplating going to speak with his older sister, Eloise, despite her quite low opinion of him, a far less-palatable sibling approaches him first.

“Kane! What a surprise, I wouldn’t have expected to see you here in a million years!” Anton greets with his human in tow. He grins widely from ear to ear, fangs on display.

-----

Keegan can practically smell the old money of this place. Everyone here has an aura of importance and snobbery, only worsened by their predatory, vampiric eyes. All her fellow humans are dressed up like she is, but unlike her, have all been lost to persuasion. They couldn't have chosen their outfit from a catalog like she did. They're dressed up by their masters like dolls. Trophies.

 Objects.

‘Why do they even bother?’ She thinks. ‘We're all just 'food' after all.’

It's awful. Keegan can't watch for long and looks down at her feet, shuffling after her own 'master'. She's so very grateful to have her mind intact, and since they can't feel for themselves, she'll endure their suffering for them. They deserve to be remembered and mourned.

A new voice breaks Keegan out of her thoughts. Kane's older brother, apparently. Keegan's hackles raise immediately when he starts talking. This guy is no good, it's written all over his face. Another very punch-able one, in her opinion. Maybe it runs in the family. Kane though, seems just as uncomfortable as she is and she hopes he'll cut this conversation short.

-----

“Hello, Anton.” Kane says through gritted teeth. “Yes, as you can see, I have a human now. No reason for me not to be here anymore, is there?”

“Yeah, I heard! Only took you a century!” Anton laughs. “I gotta admit, you’ve done well for once in your life, baby brother.” He claps Kane on the back, laughing again.

Kane is not pleased. “Well, no one gives a shit what you think.” 

“Oh, don’t be like that, it was a compliment! You’re so sensitive. I mean it! Wrangling a human when you can’t use persuasion at all, it’s very impressive stuff! In fact, the result might be even better. This one’s been hypnotized so much that she hardly reacts even when uninfluenced.” He waved a hand in front of his own human’s face to no response.

 Anton turns his gaze directly onto Keegan, eyeing her discomfort hungrily. “See, just like that. I like to see the emotion in their eyes. It’s so boring otherwise.” He leans in close enough for Keegan to smell his shitty cologne. “Having a good time, little lady?”

Keegan's hand twitches at her side, just barely keeping still. He is way too close. She leans as far away as she thinks she can get away with, face full of disgust. What the fuck. If this creep is related to Kane, what is the rest of his family like?? She hopes he can see the murderous intent in her eyes, in lieu of being able to act on them. ‘I'm not afraid of you, leech.’ 

She might be a little afraid.

Anton loses a bit of interest at her non-response, but the idea has sparked something as he turns back to Kane. “Maybe I’ll try training my next one without persuasion. I mean, it can’t be that hard if you could do it, right?”

Kane rolls his eyes, nudging his human away from Anton. “Thank you so much for that, Anton. Goodbye.”

“Aw, stop, stop, I’m half-kidding. Seriously, great pick. She smells delicious. I’ve just got to have a little taste. You don’t mind, do you?”

Anton takes a step straight toward Keegan and reaches for her neck. 

Keegan's heart spikes with fear. She does not want this man touching her. Her hand itches for a stake she hasn't touched in years. Anton is clearly the bully type, and in this case she's the toy he's trying to steal from his victim. He could break her like a twig just to get at Kane. Luckily, Kane steps in and keeps him away, grabbing his wrist and continuing the conversation like her life didn't just flash before her eyes.

“I do mind, actually. If your human’s blood is of such lower quality than mine, I’m sure you can find a suitable replacement on your own, since you’re just so capable.”

Anton rips his hand from Kane’s grasp, the smile never leaving his face. “Of course, makes perfect sense that you’re so possessive of your very first human! Oh, I remember those days. Well, good luck, I can’t wait to see what Mother and Father think.” He smirks before sauntering off.

“Can you believe that guy?” Kane grumbles with a huff.

Keegan relaxes significantly when Anton leaves. "He was... something." Keegan says quietly. Oh, she has opinions alright but doesn't dare speak them outloud, even if Kane might actually share them. She glances around the room, seeing other vampires sharing their humans. It makes her feel ill. "Sir, are... others going to feed from me tonight?" Kane didn't let his brother, but it's clear they aren't friends. No one mentioned she was going to be a party snack.

"No. No one I would say yes to would be tactless enough to ask in the first place." It's an easy answer, one he doesn't have to even consider. The idea of Mother or Father asking to feed from his human is laughable.

Keegan sighs in relief. "OK. Thanks." She's sure it's not for her sake, but still. She's glad for it.

-----

After the encounter with Anton, Kane is too intimidated to try approaching his other older siblings who he's even less close with. He eyes the entrance as people come in, sticking anxiously to the wall, when he finally sees someone he knows well. Unfortunately.

Bellamy comes waltzing in, a human at his side, arm linked with his- and like Kane's own, obviously unpersuaded. “What is he doing here?” he mutters to himself, alarmed.

The entrance garners more gossipy whispers than his own, and that's when he realizes this could be good. “Wait. Wait, this is great, actually. He could take the heat off me.”

That is, until Bellamy locks eyes with him for the first time in decades, and Kane realizes he's screwed. He tries to take off, beckoning his human to follow behind him, but Bellamy catches up easily.

“Kane, my dear, it has simply been too long!” His voice is sing-songy and light.

“Fuck off, I can’t be seen with you! Why are you even here?” Kane hisses.

The woman at Bellamy's side looks to be in her thirties, and perfectly content to be here, despite full awareness of the situation. She waves at Keegan with a warm smile.

Keegan is happy to hide at the edges of the party. Avoiding any more conversation would make the night easier to get through. But of course it doesn't last long, when a vampire and his lucid human make a beeline towards them.

The human lady waves at her. Keegan stares dumbfounded for a moment before sending a small one back. She has so many questions. God does it feel good to look into another human's eyes. She looks kind. Too kind to be in this hellhole.

Bellamy looks genuinely hurt by Kane’s words, his eyebrows knotting together briefly before he regains his composure. “Oh, politics. Some people are hard to get a hold of, and this made for a fantastic opportunity. Though I was unaware you’d number among them tonight! Shall we meet in private, darling? We absolutely must catch up.”

Kane taps his foot, agitated. “Fine, just get away from me before people start thinking we’re together.”

The man winks. “Follow me in five.”

He and the woman disappear down one of the connecting hallways.

Having no one else to gossip to, Kane turns to Keegan. “That guy? He had his entire life handed to him on a golden platter. Cast away everything by refusing to take a human when he came of age. No one who’s anyone would be caught dead associating with him anymore. He was the eldest son in the most important family next to mine and now he’s an even bigger laughing stock than me! Ugh, of course he won’t even use persuasion on the human that he now apparently has. Has to fucking flaunt it. Can’t believe he’s showing his face here.”

Keegan can't tell if he's actually expecting an answer from her. She opens and closes her mouth a few times before settling on, "She didn't seem like she needed it, sir." What's so special about this vampire that his human is perfectly content by his side? Keegan envies her.

"Well, lucky fucking him." Kane responds.

-----

After a short while has passed, Kane follows down the same path the other pair had taken minutes ago. He weaves through corridors before they arrive at the storage room he and Bellamy would always hide out in when they were boys, boxes piled high around the two waiting for them.

As soon as they enter, Bellamy moves toward Kane with arms outstretched, obviously going in for a hug. Kane holds out a hand to stop him. “Cut that shit out. Why am I here?”

“Well, it’s been so long!” Bellamy exclaims. “It’s been, what, eighty-five years? Do you have a telephone, my dear? Marvelous things, humans do simply come up with the most amazing inventions. We should exchange numbers, keep in better touch!”

“Did you somehow forget what happened the last time we spoke?” Kane eyes the woman. “Why do you have a human? Finally come to your senses?”

“Oh of course, where are my manners?” He turned to Keegan. “My name is Bellamy Verta,” He gives a little bow, “and this beautiful young lady is Caroline.” He gestures to his companion with an extravagant flourish.

“It’s nice to meet you both.” she says.

“And who might you be, young lady?” Bellamy asks Keegan.

In stark contrast to the last vampire they spoke to, this ‘Bellamy’ almost immediately puts Keegan at ease. First of all, he calls his human by her name, Caroline. Keegan has never heard her name come out of Kane's mouth. Second, he's speaking directly to her. Not at her, or ignoring her completely.

 "Keegan." She responds. Then with a quick glance at Kane, reluctantly adds, "...Sir."

"It's lovely to meet you, Keegan." Bellamy reaches out and shakes her hand, his grip soft and warm in mannerism, even if his hands themselves are a bit cold. "I do hope you're not finding this party completely dreadful."

Bellamy turns back to Kane. “As for your question, Caroline and I have a mutually beneficial relationship. She is no prisoner of mine, and is free to come and go as she pleases. She was kind enough to accompany me to this event, given the stringent requirements for entry. Thank you once again for this, darling.”

“It’s no trouble at all.” Caroline smiles.

Caroline is free? She's free, and she chose to be here. Surrounded by murderous vampires and their dead-eyed humans. Suddenly, Keegan decides she hates her. She's been forced into this hell against her will and here's another woman having a perfectly good time with the first vampire Keegan has ever seen that doesn't want to use persuasion. Why does she get to have it easy? She can't quite mask her disbelieving glare.

Well, maybe Bellamy could help? If... if this reunion goes smoothly at least. He and Kane have history, though they clearly didn't part on good terms. She wants to speak to him more but Kane is right there. His threat hangs over her head. Don't speak unless spoken to. So she stands there silently simmering in frustration.

It's obvious Keegan wants to speak. “Do whatever you want, there’s no one here I need to impress," Kane instructs.

“Perhaps you and Caroline can have a chat?" Bellamy suggests. "Dear Kane and I do have so much to catch up on, some of which are rather private matters.” He motions Kane to follow him to the other side of the room.

“Whatever.” Kane gives an exasperated sigh and walks along with him.

Caroline looks after Kane wryly. "Oh, he seems charming," she says, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Very." Keegan mutters.

She doesn't want to be a complete dick to this stranger, but she has to ask. As soon as the two vampires are conversing, she hisses, "How can you stand it? Being around all... This. Being around him. He's one of them!" Sure he's polite, but he's still a vampire. What if it's all for show?

Caroline smiles at her, pity in her eyes. "Bellamy is the kindest person I've ever met, human or vampire. In fact, in my experience, humans have been the more dreadful bunch." She gestures back toward the ballroom. "Most vampires aren't like this, you know. The stuck-up noble types. They're just regular people. Most haven't even interacted with a human in their lives, let alone hurt one."

That somehow makes Keegan feel worse. She really got the short end of the stick, then. ‘Don't fucking pity me when you won the vampire lottery’ She thinks sourly.

"I don't care!" She growls. "They're predators. They've ruined my life." She turns and kicks a nearby box hard enough that her foot stings. "Why do you get to be free?" She whispers.

The smile disappears. "I'm sorry, hun. But... Kane ruined your life. Bellamy wouldn't hurt a fly. Literally. When there's a bug in the house, I've gotta be the one to take care of it 'cause he's afraid of creepy-crawlies. Vampires aren't a monolith as much as humans aren't. Bellamy saved my life." Though sometimes, she finds herself falling into the trap of thinking of all of humanity as unsalvageable.

"I'm sorry things have turned out so horribly for you. I hope it gets better," she says sincerely.

Keegan wants to shout, to scream. Maybe this would be easier if she was chained up in a basement somewhere, so freedom wouldn't be standing just out of reach and mocking her. But Caroline is being so patient and kind. She has nothing to do with Keegan's suffering.

She deflates. "I'm sorry. I just- Seeing you here, happy..." she gestures vaguely. "It's a lot." Her lip wobbles. "You're the first human I've spoken to in over two years." The first person really, other than Kane.

"You're the first human I've spoken to in over a decade," Caroline admits. She steps forward, her heart aching for Keegan. "You look like you could use a hug. You want one?"

Keegan starts to cry. "...Please." She hasn't felt a kind touch in just as long. Only pain and harsh manhandling. "I wanna go home..." she mumbles, barely audible. It's pathetic, but she's so lonely, and Caroline is someone who will actually listen.

Caroline wraps her up in a warm embrace. "I'm sorry," she says softly. "I know everything's awful right now. Just hang in there. You never know where life will take you. Take it one day at a time."

Keegan cries into Caroline's shoulder, tightly gripping the fabric of her shirt. It feels good to be held. She doesn't want it to end.

"I'm t-trying." She sobs. "Thank you."

Caroline keeps holding her, as long as she needs, gently rubbing her back. She figures Keegan needs this.

-----

“I can’t believe, after everything you’ve been through, that you would just… subjugate someone like this! Look at her, she has bruises on her arm!” Bellamy gestures pointedly at Keegan. "It's awful!"

Caroline lets go of Keegan, turning to watch the argument. She places herself protectively between Keegan and Kane.

“She wouldn't have bruises if she fucking behaved!” Kane retorts. “I don’t know why you suddenly insist on acting like I’m lesser than the rest of my family when you were always the one to tell me I wasn’t. I’m a De Sang, this is what we do.”

“I didn’t mean–” Bellamy pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, “Why is it that the thing you want to live up to is their cruelty?”

“It’s not cruelty, it’s the way the world works! You’re the one who’s a freak.” Kane spits. “You just don’t want me to be happy! Now that I have a human, I can finally get the respect I deserve!”

Bellamy scoffs. “Oh, is that it? Are you happy now, Kane? I can see that sucking up to those pricks has made you so much less of a bitter, miserable person. You’re just the absolute picture of happiness!”

“I need. A minute.” Kane takes a deep breath and glares at Keegan. “Stay. Here.” He storms out of the storage room, slamming the door behind him.

Keegan holds her breath when Kane turns to her with fury in his eyes and flinches when he slams the door.

“I apologize.” Bellamy says, “That got out of hand. I do hope I’ve caused no undue trouble for you, Keegan.”

"It's ok. He, uh, only hurts me when he's mad at me specifically." She says, subconsciously rubbing the bruises Bellamy pointed out. "Which is often, unfortunately. You two used to be friends?" She can't imagine someone as polite as Bellamy wanting to be around Kane.

Bellamy looks to her apologetically, like he's embarrassed of ever having been Kane's friend. "When we were boys. I haven't spoken to him in eighty-five years. He's always been prone to bouts of anger, but not so explosive as he is now. Or perhaps, he simply never had the opportunity."

Keegan sighs. "He just didn't have a human to kick around yet. Thank you for at least trying to talk him out. I've never met a vampire like you before." She feels a bit guilty for calling him a 'predator' just moments ago, but hopefully he was too preoccupied to have heard it.

"I'm sorry my kind has left such a horrible impression on you," Bellamy says sadly.

Caroline nudges him. "Bel, isn't there anything we can...?"

Bellamy shakes his head. "I'm afraid not." Attempting to steal a human from this event would go poorly for all involved, he's sure.

Keegan wants to cry again. "If you could- I know it's a long shot and probably isn't worth it- but if you could keep trying?" God this is pathetic. "Keep trying to convince him?"

"Of course, dear. Of course I can," Bellamy promises.

It's not hard to anticipate Kane’s return, his stomping audible from a mile away.

“My mother’s here. We’re going back out.” he announces, grabbing Keegan’s bruised forearm.

“Kane, wait." Bellamy's voice is firm. He chooses his words carefully in an attempt to appeal to Kane's values. "Please. I know things got out of hand tonight, but none of that is Keegan's fault. She's only a human. Surely, violence against someone so much weaker than yourself is beneath you. You're better than this."

Kane hesitates. "W-whatever. We're going," he says, but his grip on Keegan relaxes just a bit.

Bellamy looks over to Keegan. “It truly was lovely to meet you, dear. I do wish you the best.”

'Just a human- so much weaker'. There's that awful talking-down-to again, but it works at least a little. She and her arm are grateful to Bellamy for trying.

"Likewise. You too Caroline." Keegan responds. Kane is pulling her back out before she can say much else, but she mouths a sincere "Thank you" as they turn the corner.

Caroline waves at her, sadness in her eyes. 

-----

Kane leads her back out to the main room. In the few minutes they’ve been gone, the room has filled out with occupants. Kane lets go of Keegan, trusting her to follow him on her own. He walks up to an older vampire woman, dressed to the nines. “Hello, Mother!” Kane says, a huge smile plastered on his face. 

“Oh! Kane, Anton was just telling me you were here!” Kane’s mother exclaims. 

“I have a human!” he boasts, gesturing to Keegan. 

“That’s very nice.” She nods, not even glancing at Keegan. “Finally catching up! Say, your one hundredth is soon, isn’t it? Maybe we could do something for it!” 

“It was two years ago, actually!” Kane’s smile falters for a fraction of a second before returning to its chipper state. 

“Oh, well, there’s always two hundred!” she says breezily. 

“Yeah!” Kane agrees, glancing around a bit. “U-um, do you know when Father…?” 

Kane’s mother smiles. “He was right behind me, should be here any second. Listen, I really would like to stay and chat, but there are so many people I need to speak with tonight.” 

His smile really does fall then. “Oh, but I thought-” 

She puts a hand near his shoulder, making the motion of a comforting gesture without actually touching him.  “You’re doing good. Keep it up.” 

Kane beams. “I will!” he nearly shouts as his mother walks away. “That went amazing! That went so well!” Kane enthuses as soon as she's out of earshot.

Did it? That was hard for Keegan to watch. If this is how they treat him, no wonder Kane doesn't talk about his family. She's glad to be ignored by Kane's mother, she wishes he'd stop showing her off like a trophy and drawing attention to her. ‘I'm not an object.’ She reminds herself once again.

Suddenly, all chit-chat dissipates as a new vampire enters.

He doesn’t look much different than any other vampire, aside from obviously being the oldest. He appears in his seventies, though he is likely hundreds, if not over a thousand years in age. But… there is something wrong about him, something any aware human will be able to feel. An energy permeates the room, a deep, human instinct screaming RUN, YOU ARE IN DANGER, YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW. This man, above all, is a predator made to hunt things like Keegan.

The human beside him looks dead, far beyond the entranced looks of everyone else. There is zero spark of life behind his eyes, yet he continues standing and breathing, moving along with the vampire like a puppet, clearly somehow alive.

Kane puts a hand to the center of Keegan's back and begins leading her in a beeline directly for the man.

"Father!” Kane calls, all excitement and nerves.

-----

If Death has a physical form, Keegan is sure she has just found it. This is Kane's father. This monster. The blood drains from her face and her entire body trembles. She's been scared before, sure. She grew up in a toxic, violent household and now kills vampires for a living. Fear has kept her alive. But she's only felt true, primal terror of this kind twice in her life. Once, when her mother's throat was torn out in front of her, and now here. At this moment, despite all logic, Keegan is sure with every bone in her body that she is not going to survive the night.

Kane pushes her forward as if to the gallows.

Kane’s father glances briefly at Keegan before turning his eyes on Kane.

The man sighs, shooting Kane a glare. “What is it?” His voice is deep and cold.

“I-I got a human…” he claims timidly, his confidence draining at the icy reception.

Kane’s father does not ignore Keegan as his wife had. Instead, he turned his gaze directly onto her, piercing red eyes almost digging under Keegan's skin. The man brings a hand to Keegan's chin and tilts her head to the side to expose her feeding scars, his skin devoid of warmth.

“Sloppy work,” he comments.

The only reason Keegan does not rip her head away from him is because she knows it would only bring about her demise that much faster. She doesn't blink, staring straight into his eyes. She feels like a child curled up in bed, watching the closet door through the darkness of the room. The moment she blinks the monster will get her. Her skin burns under his touch despite the cold of his hand. ‘Please, I don't want to die. Not like this.’

Kane rushes to defend himself. “I wasn’t, um, that good at feeding at first, but I figured it out! For the past year and a half, I’ve-” 

Kane’s father puts a hand up to stop him, and Kane’s mouth snaps shut instantly. His other hand is still on the underside of Keegan's chin, so close to her throat. “It can’t be helped. Passable.” The man finally lets go of her, and walks away without another word. 

Kane’s eyes are wide. “Passable…” he repeats to himself in awe, clutching his hands to his chest. 

The rest of the night goes without incident, Kane seeming in high spirits. Anton does give Keegan a few glances as it goes on, but at one point he shrugs, as if to say ‘not worth it’. Kane attempts small-talk with a few other people throughout the night, who all largely disregard him. He spends a lot of time wallflowering by himself. Occasionally he starts chatting with Keegan, then realizes he shouldn't be doing that and stops, embarrassed. After a few hours, people start to leave. Kane only exits once his parents do. As they get back in the car, he grins at Keegan. "That went fantastically. You can make your phone call as soon as we get home. Well done."

Keegan doesn't match Kane's good mood. She takes a while to recover from the interaction with his father. She's shaky, and doesn't want him out of her line of sight. He seems fully uninterested in them which helps, but being trapped in the same building with such a threat is rough on her nerves. She stubbornly holds on to her poker face, keeping all her fear in her clenched fists.

Eventually she's able to relax, especially when Kane dares to talk to her a bit. At least he isn't a threat to her at the moment. It's all worth it in the end too, as he keeps his end of the deal. She lived through the night and she's going to get to speak to her sister for the first time in years! It's so exciting, and also a whole new kind of terrifying after so long without contact.

-----

When they return home, Kane removes his tie. "Go on," he says, nodding at the rotary phone sitting on a small table in the corner of the living room. "You've earned it."

He sits on the couch and picks up a book from the mug table.

‘I shouldn't have to earn it.’ Keegan thinks. She can't find it in herself to be mad though. Not right now.

“Ok!” She practically runs to the phone and begins to dial. She feels sick to her stomach with nerves. She doesn't even know what she's going to say. 'I love you. I'm alive. Are you safe??' Those are at the top of the list. But truly she just wants to hear Lohitha’s voice. It's been so, so long.

The phone rings for a while. Each one builds dread in Keegan's stomach. But it is quite early in the morning. It'll just take a minute for her to answer. Right? Keegan bites her lip. ‘C'mon, pick up. please.’

Finally, the line connects and Keegan hears shuffling of fabric and a quiet yawn. "Lohitha?!" She cries desperately. "It's me, Keegan!"

There's a beat of silence. Then a deep, male voice answers. "Who?"

Keegan's heart stops. "Wh- I'm... I'm Keegan Khatri. I'm looking for Lohitha Khatri? Who are y-"

The man interrupts her, tired irritation in his voice. "You got the wrong number." CLICK

The line goes dead. Keegan gasps. No. no no no. She knows that was the right number. She's had it memorized since the moment they moved to that address. But... It's an apartment. She didn't even THINK about that. Lohi wouldn't be living there alone, of course she'd move. Keegan was so caught up in speaking to her she wasted her chance like an idiot! Her eyes flood with tears and she slowly turns towards Kane. He said one phone call. One.

Kane can quietly hear the other line with his supernatural hearing, even from halfway across the room.

He looks up from his book. "I'm no conman, human. I'm a man of my word. One successful phone call." He looks back down and flips the page.

Of course. Kane's at least practical. She lets out a sigh of relief. Keegan is so anxious that she isn't thinking straight.

“Thank you…”

She's not sure how to contact Lohitha now. She could be anywhere. But there's one person who would possibly know. Her hunting partner.

She dials. Only two rings this time before an answer.

"Vivian speaking."

Keegan sighs in relief and smiles. "Hey, partner."

"Keegan??"

"Yeah Vee, it's me. I'm alive. Surprise?"

"What?? The fuck? Where have you been? We thought you were-"

"I was taken. Still am, but... he let me call."

"Oh my God. Ok. Where are you? I will get a group together and come after you I swear-"

"No- Vivian no." Keegan glances at Kane. "That's not- I'm ok. Mostly. I'm not calling for a rescue," ‘as much as I wish I could.’ "I need to know. Lohitha, is she OK? Tell me she's ok."

"Oh- yes! Keegan she's fine! She's been living with me. She's just fine."

Just like that, a massive weight is lifted off Keegan's shoulders. She finally knows. After all this time. Her little sister is safe. Tears of relief pour down her face. "-Thank you, Vee. Thank you so much." She cries. "Please, can you go get her? I need to talk to her. Please."

"Oh… I’m… Keegan she's not home right now. I'm so sorry-"

"What??" No. No. This can't be happening. She was so close!

"She's on a school trip. She won't be home for a few days! Is there any possible way you can call again?"

"No, this.... this is my only one." Keegan says in defeat. After all that... She can't even hear her sister's voice. Her heart is shattering. "Just... Tell her I love her? And I'm so, so sorry. I'm trying to come back to her."

"Of course. I swear I will. She loves you too. She misses you so much."

Keegan sobs. She can't take this anymore. "T-thank you. Please... please k-keep her safe."

"I won't let anything happen to her. You have my word." Quietly Vivian adds, "is there no way you can tell me where-"

"No. He's listening. I just needed... closure." It sounds so final. But she hopes the wording will appease Kane. 

-----

Kane does not like the sound of ‘I'm trying to come back to her.’ If his human escaped, he would be the laughing-stock of the century. No one's human ever escapes. No one else's human has the capacity to even want to.

This is why he doesn't allow phone calls. It puts the wrong ideas in his human's head, makes her think she serves a purpose outside being his. The human on the other line keeps trying to plan a rescue, too. This is not good.

"None of this 'trying to go back' business," he reminds her, not looking up from his book.

Hot anger rushes through Keegan. She whips around, face still streaked with tears. "Excuse me for trying to comfort my kid sister who has lost the only family she has left!" She spits, then immediately flinches from her mistake. Fuck, she didn't mean to talk back, this is the worst time-

Kane gives her a deadpan look. "You're lucky I'm in a very good mood, human. Final warning. Behave." He waves for her to continue her call.

She's on thin ice here. She's definitely lucky. She turns back towards the wall with the phone.

"It's not an option, Vivian. But I'm surviving."

"I cannot sit back knowing you're trapped there." Vivian insists. Keegan can tell she's trying to get her to slip her a hint. But Keegan was never the clever one. There's nothing she can say that would not end badly for her or any humans that tried to rescue her. No hidden clue she can pass on.

"You're an incredible friend, Vivian." Keegan says instead. "The best partner. And I love you too. Tell the squad I say hey. Kick my dad in the balls if he tries coming around. Sober or not."

"Keegan you are not about to end this call. I will kill you myself-"

She has to end it. Vivian will never let it go and Keegan can't handle much more. "Lohitha has always wanted a dog, by the way. Goodbye Vivian."

"Don't you fucking dare-"

Click. Keegan places the phone back on the wall, hanging up. She stares unmoving in the silence that follows.

-----

Kane is honestly torn. He does feel for the human: he knows what it's like to be separated from the love of his family. He honestly considers giving her a second chance to call her sister.

But no, he has to stay firm. He is a person, the human is not. It's very clear that if the human talks to her sister, she's just going to be that more determined to get back to her. And he still remembers the horrible pain of boiling water from two years ago. A clean break is best.

"You can go back to your room now," he suggests in the awkward silence.

His human doesn't speak, doesn't look at him. She just shuffles back to her room, staring at her feet. Kane, quite honestly, forgets about the human's troubles soon after she leaves the room. He heads upstairs to his own room, giddy with excitement about the relatively-positive reception from his parents.

The moment the door is shut behind her, Keegan slides down the wall and cries. She doesn't care if Kane hears. She doesn't care about much at all anymore. Her heart has just split in two.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry :(

Taglist: @whumpsday @not-a-space-alien @anomalys-taxonomy @what-if-i-just-did @dragonqueenslayer6

@jumpywhumpywriter @writereleaserepeat

[strawdool]

Let me tell you Straw, your Modern AU has given me an immense amount of inspiration. At one point I would have liked to write some fanfics around it but it wasn't really in my right to do so, so I didn't. I think I like this AU in particular because in order for Lamb and Narinder to even remotely make it work they have to fight through a ton of issues. I like seeing characters get completely broken by the consequences of their actions and then learn how to fight their own demons. It's also a bit of hit or miss on whether people like this relationship development, but I really like the kind of relationships in fiction where the characters have to really fight for it. It's all well and good to have a story where the characters fall in love instantly and after maybe one calamity or two, they set off in the sunset. But for me, I like the relationships more where you aren't sure where things are going. There's clear signs but the two characters really have to want that relationship to make it work and fight through a lot of problems. It can suck seeing the characters stumble but in the end to me, it's very rewarding that once they have (hopefully) solved said issues, they will probably have a stronger and healthier relationship than most. To me, any kind of foundation that has seen struggle and survived it will always be stronger than one that has never experienced conflict. In other words, a relationship that could survive its issues and find compromise and resolution I think is more likely to last in the end. This is not always the case but in fiction we can force happy endings right? That said though, I have to really wonder if your modern Narinder and Lamb will ever get their act together to actually forge a peaceful and successful life together. I don't know if you have a full story planned out or not but if Narinder has already screwed up to the point of a breakup then there may be no recovery from that. The path forward I see is him finally addressing his problems and trying to turn his life around. As the Lamb, hopefully they can find a life where they're not in threat of the outside world. Maybe the two could eventually reconcile and form a long lasting friendship even if it never fully repairs. I'm just always hoping that characters will learn from their mistakes even though often in real life some people never learn and will constantly do the same horrible things. If I had to say what the most appealing part of your au is, it's the hope aspect. It's the hope that someday Narinder will realize what a trash bucket he is and do something about it. It's the hope that the Lamb can realize their self worth. Maybe it'll end with Narinder, a fully cleaned up man with a plan, formally apologizing to the Lamb for everything he's done and after a cordial conversation he disappears, on to a new life. The Lamb doesn't really know what becomes of him but hopes that he will do some good with his life. Maybe somewhere in the back of their head they'll lament too that Narinder figured things out too late. I don't know, thinking out loud at this point. But hey, this is a very interesting AU and it has sparked far more ideas than just those. So have a good day and I very much look forward to more if you happen to do so.

me when anon goes into a full rant about my au i feel so happy that my au had make you have a lot of inspo <33333

anyway answering your question, Narinder and Lamb spiral after the breakup: lamb bc they were betrayed at their most vulnerable and Narinder trying to justify his bad action with "they deserved it" but deep down knowing he fucked up badly but he doesnt want to accept that and so he doubles down and he gets into a very bad place mentally.

but while Lamb finally opens up to their insecurities and their situations to goat and ratau after all. Narinder had already pushed everyone away; no family, no friends, nothing.

it takes a while until one day Narinder finally comes to the realization how badly he is and starts getting his life together. (i like to say that it all starts with cleaning his apartment lol)

he doesnt contact lamb for a whole year at this point he even got a job and is now reconnecting with his kids, until he remember Lamb and finally accepts that the way he treated them and all the blame the put on them wasnt right.

And so he tries to find them to talk things throught (goes to a point he kinda starts stalking them for a bit) and when he finally gets to them Goat is the one who interrupts him with punching him in the face. but mf doesnt give up which results in him getting his ass beaten many times.

For Lamb and Narinder to finally get on good terms it takes a while, if reconstructing their friendship already took them months, rekindle the romantic relationship its another can of worms that both try to take it slowly and not rush things. Narinder in that he becomes really nervous, afraid to hurt them again and Lamb tries to takes things step by step specially for trusting him again.

[clownrecess]

(tw for talk of medical environments and ableism)

I want to talk about medical appointments as a nonspeaking AAC user, because it is both important, and relevant to me as I went to the optometrist yesterday.

One of the biggest difficulties I face is the lack of understanding and awareness among healthcare professionals when it comes to AAC devices and nonspeaking people. Sometimes, doctors and nurses are not familiar with how to use or communicate effectively with AAC users, which can lead to miscommunication and frustration on both sides. Yesterday, one of the staff members who was taking photos of the backs of my eyes wasn't informed I am nonspeaking (I'm not sure why she wasn't told), and so when she asked me a question I held up two fingers to gesture that the second option was the correct one, and she was visibly confused, and I was really anxious. My mother then answered for me, as my device was on the floor where I couldn't reach it because I wasn't aware I would need to answer a question.

The rest of the appointment (after she was told that I am nonspeaking) that specific staff member would ignore my presence and act like I am incompetent.

Luckily, not all doctors are like this. The doctor who did the majority of my appointment was understanding, and was patient with both me and my device. I appreciated her greatly.

Unfortunately, most arent like the good one. The majority of doctors I have interacted with whilst using AAC don't take me seriously, talk only to my mom, and sometimes try to take my device away when it is fully unnecessary to do so.

Furthermore, there is often a lack of time and resources dedicated to ensuring that AAC users have equal access to healthcare. This can result in appointments feeling rushed, and healthcare providers may not take the time to fully understand and address our concerns.

Another issue (this one affecting specifically adults who use AAC, so I haven't experienced it yet) is that when making appointments over the phone, our device's voice may be dismissed as a spam caller.

I wish that doctors (in every field) were more educated on nonspeaking people and AAC users. We are disabled, and disabled people are obviously more likely to go to the doctor more frequently, so it would be insanely helpful. I have a bone scan coming up soon, and I am very nervous about it for this reason. (Luckily it is taking place at a hospital I've had mostly good experiences with, so hopefully it'll be all good.)