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tojikai · 1 year ago

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Sundered 5: QUARRELS

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, explicit smut, arguments, implied noncon

word count: 6.8k

This is close enough for a beggar like him.

“When Yui turns three…” Satoru turns to look at you with a small smile and a look in his eyes that you know too well not to understand at a glance. “When Yui turns three?” You urged him to continue, “...we make another one. Hopefully, a baby boy.” He pulled you on top of him as you laughed fondly.

“I can’t even count on my fingers how many times you said that already.” You giggled, kissing his blushing face. “I can’t have you forgetting. It’s a must. We make cute babies.” He spoke each sentence in between pecks. “ Yeah, but she’s only 5 months old, Satoru.” You put your head on his chest, feeling him caress your hair.

“I know, but I wanna tell you in advance.” Moments like this make you forget about all the problems and fights that you have with him. “But we’re gonna get married first, of course.” You looked up at him, watching his eyes glimmer. “You’re asking me to marry you?” You poked his side.

“Of course, what else am I gonna do with you?” He flips you over, kissing your neck and chest before attempting to pull the straps of your nighties down your shoulders. “This is for your daughter, don’t even try.” You pointed a finger at his nose as he pouted, “She’s asleep. Can’t I get a sip?” He wiggled his eyebrows at you making you giggle.

“What is going on with you?” He kissed your lips, joining you in your joy. Just two days ago, you and Satoru were screaming at each other’s faces because of how he got angry at you for talking back to his mother. She came into his house, trying to fight you because you got Yui’s ears pierced. You and Satoru agreed on it, but he didn’t like that you ‘talked back’ to his mom.

And now, it’s all gone. Washed away by his touches. Drowned away by his kisses and moans. “Remember when we did this while you were pregnant?” You could hear his smirk as he nibbled on your skin. You're now lying sideways with your hand holding one of your legs up. His strong arms were wrapped around your waist, caressing your lower stomach.

“Gonna put another one here in a few years.” He grunted when you reached for his hair, pressing him closer to you. “Satoru…” His breath on the shell of your ear only made you heat up more. You sobbed as his thrust got faster and harder. “Yeah, you want that.” He bit your ear lightly as you arched your back, whimpering.

You were just about to tell him that you’re close but Satoru got your body memorized. His hand was already trailing down to your womanhood, fingers rubbing on your nub as he coaxed you to your climax and followed shortly after. He finished inside you with your name flowing smoothly out of his lips. You stayed in the same position; with him still inside you as he pushed your legs together.

It was only one of those nights that made you believe that you’d be together until the end.

“...a new one?” Satoru’s voice snapped you back to reality. “Hm?” You turned to him, seeing that he was already staring at you. Yesterday, you and Toji fought. And today, you did again. Is the honeymoon phase they were saying already over? You gritted your teeth. “Are you still thinking about it?” Satoru’s voice was laced with concern as he drove.

Yesterday afternoon, you and Toji were talking about how much louder it gets when there are more kids around. Other than Yuuji, a little girl from their neighborhood named Nobara also joined—a name Yui cannot pronounce correctly but kept saying anyway.

With four children running around the house, you and Toji could only communicate with eyes, teasing like a married couple planning for an addition. You two could only joke around the topic, though, knowing how serious and how big a responsibility it will be.

Besides, your relationship is still young and you would like to get married first before taking a step like that. But marriage still feels pretty far for you and Toji.

“Look, I’m sure he doesn’t mean it like that.” Satoru tried to comfort you. “His wife used to do that stuff and now he’s just sharing it with you.” He explained. You can’t help but feel like you were being petty. The kids had a playdate and you thought that making a bit of juice for their picnic would give them a better experience.

Toji started randomly talking about how his wife had little cousins and she refused to give them juice until they were 5 because it’s terrible for toddlers’ health. And though, you understand this, the way he said it just put you off. You felt like he was comparing you to her and you just didn’t like the way it made you feel.

Before, there were times when he would mindlessly say that his wife introduced something to him or taught him to do something and you would think that he was probably just reminiscing. But now you just felt…sensitive. It just felt like you still had to compete even if there was no one to compete with.

“He’s probably just suggesting.” Satoru tried to explain for Toji, something you didn’t think would ever happen because they’re almost always wordless around one another. “Suggesting what? That I should do what his first wife did? And today he got upset that Yui and I would leave early to go with you.” Satoru sighed, nodding slowly.

Ever since that night, he’s been a lot more calm, more patient, and more careful with everything he does. “We should’ve canceled and moved it another day.” You looked at him, disbelief flashing on your face.

“Y/N, he’s your boyfriend now. It’s not good to leave a fight without talking first, even just for reassurance.” Whatever he’s been learning at counseling is definitely working, you thought. When he first told you about it, you didn't know how to react. Probably because you know that the cause of your problems is not just him. But also his mother.

“I told him we’ll talk later. He just doesn’t like that we have to spend time around each other like this.” Your voice was quieter. To be honest, you don’t know how to deal with that because it concerns your daughter too. “We can…we can just reduce times like this to milestones like birthdays and school events when she’s finally in school,” Satoru spoke, clearing his throat.

“I don’t think it’s that important anyway, Yui will understand that we’re separated soon. She’s growing fast.” You glanced at your daughter as she waves at the passing cars. Satoru’s right. “Yeah, I’ll just…I’ll talk to him about it.” Satoru probably doesn’t want it like that, but nowadays, he’s been…different. In a good way.

“By the way, I have a…my previous car. Do you remember? The one before this.” He asked, “Your car always breaks down. I mean…You can have it. So, you won’t have to take a cab when you take Yui to daycare, go to work, or pick her up from my place.” You can tell that he was nervous to ask you about it.

“Actually, if you want. I can ask Toji, so he won’t think of it as anything.” You looked away, thinking. You’re not the only one who has a significant other here; Naomi might think of it as something too. “You have to tell Naomi too.” You glanced at him through the rearview mirror. “Yeah…” He cleared his throat.

Silence enveloped the three of you for several minutes until Satoru spoke again. “My counselor said it’s easy to mistake comfort for love.” Taking a deep breath, you chose your words carefully. “You can learn to love people and things.” There was a long pause along as you reached his house. You checked on Yui to find out that she fell asleep.

“That sounds like resignation, Y/N. Love doesn’t need conditions.” He mumbled, looking at his lap. “Let’s go, she’s getting uncomfortable.” You took Yui’s things before following him inside his house. “Don’t forget her vitamins, Satoru.” Humming, he opened the door for you with your sleeping daughter in his arms.

To his surprise, the lights were on and there, his mother and Naomi sat on his couch.

“You took so long. Did you forget about your girlfriend?” His mother was the first to speak. “Why are you here, Mom? You’re early, Naomi.” Naomi glanced at you with a look on her face that you can’t quite read. There’s nothing sinister about it, in fact, she looked nervous.

“She’s early because she won’t be working full days anymore.” You stood there awkwardly, feeling invisible before Satoru took a step closer to you, “Since she’ll be a part of the family soon, I asked your father if he can take it easy on her workload. Lovers should spend time with each other as much as they can.” His mother continues, emphasizing the word ‘family’ as she gave a mocking glance your way.

She never once considered you as one. Not that you want to be related in any way to someone like her. You scoffed inside your head, seeing Satoru glance at you. “We do spend enough time together.” He spoke, “And why are you deciding for her, Mom?” He took the bags in your hand, “Let’s go to Yui's room.”

“It’s okay, I won’t be staying for long anyway, I just wanted to drop her off.” After taking Yui to an inflatable indoor park, Satoru bought her a Hello Kitty cake just as you were about to go home. The kid was excited to open the cake with you, but you were reluctant because you don’t really want to be around Naomi. After being assured by Satoru that Naomi wasn’t supposed to come over until Friday, you finally agreed.

You should’ve trusted your gut, because here she is with Satoru’s mom, like a cherry on top.

“I’ll take you home, let’s just put her to bed, then we’ll go.” The child stirred in her sleep, adjusting her head on his shoulder, “Mama, cake.” She murmured, probably dreaming about her food. You looked at Satoru, catching him already staring at you and something tells you it’s gonna be alright even with these two people who seemingly want you out of your own daughter’s life.

“We’ll talk later,” Satoru spoke to them, gently nudging you toward your daughter’s room. “There’s literally nothing to talk about, son. We just wanted to make the two of you more free for each other. Can’t have others hogging all of your attention from your lover. She won’t appreciate that. Isn’t that right, Y/N?” You paused, glancing at Satoru.

“With your new boyfriend, doesn’t it irritate you when he uses his time for other things?” You can tell that his mother is trying to elicit a reaction from you. “The only thing my boyfriend does other than work is take care of his son. And I will never put myself in between them.” Before his mother could even say anything, Satoru quickly took the stage.

“I said later, Mom. Naomi and I will talk. It’s our relationship.” With that, he walked with you into Yui’s room, closing the door behind him, careful not to wake his daughter up. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t think they’d be here.” You took Yui’s shoes and jacket off, before letting Satoru put her down. “I know, it’s okay.” Kissing Yui’s forehead, you could hear him whisper curse words.

“Hey.” You can tell he’s more than upset. This is probably more painful and exhausting to him than you thought. “I don’t know anymore, Y/N.” He turned away from you, running his hand over his face, “This. This is what’s making my life harder.” He gestured towards the door, referring to his mother. “This is what made our life harder.” You caught him saying as he shook his head.

“Just talk to them. Maybe there's a reason for this. She’s just naturally hostile with me.” You shrugged, knowing that he was speaking the truth. “That’s the point. She’s pointlessly hostile and she thinks she can decide for me.” Turning to you, there was redness in his eyes.

Satoru didn’t want to seem like he was asking you for comfort. He refused to give you that before, he’d be shameless if he wanted you to hold him. “Let’s go. I’ll explain to Yui, we’ll call you later.” Blinking hard before opening the door, Satoru knows better than to allow his mother near you. You never told him but he knows that she slapped you when she came to your house.

They fought about it when he went to their mansion. Thankfully, his father backed him up with a speech about protective orders which shut her down. It pained him to be like that to his mom but he can’t just have her abusing you just because she can.

Satoru walked beside you, covering you from his mother. “Satoru…” Naomi called out but his mother quickly spoke, “Doesn’t she have a car? Did it break down again? Ah, like before, when she wanted someone to take her home.” There was no hint of amusement in Naomi’s eyes, probably clueless as to what she was talking about.

“I’m calling Dad to pick you up.” With that, he continued walking, leaving his mother with an angry look on her face. “That’d be good. He will be here to discuss things since he’s her boss. He might even give her a vacation. You and Naomi can go out of the country. Get close, plan things like marriage, children—” Stopping in his tracks, Satoru turned with his jaws clenched.

“You know what? Maybe I shouldn’t leave my daughter here. After all, you threatened to take her away.” Walking back to Yui’s room, Satoru didn’t think twice as he grabbed your hand, making Naomi tense up. “Can she stay with you tonight? I’ll get her tomorrow.” He murmured, breathing hard as he picked his daughter up again.

“You think I’ll kidnap my own granddaughter, look what she’s making you think.” You can hear his mom as you rush to take Yui’s things. Whining, Yui covered her ears as Satoru walked her out of the room with you beside him. “I don’t need to kidnap Yui to get her away, her own mother isn’t even capable, what makes you think—” Satoru cut her off when he stood in front of her.

“I’m filing a restraining order.” He spoke, voice low as he tried to stay respectful despite what he was saying, “Against you.” His mother’s eyes widened in surprise, “Come on.” Ushering you out, and leaving his mother stunned. Opening the door for you, he then proceeded to fix his daughter in her car seat.

“Mama why?” You shushed her, caressing her hair, “We’ll eat cake at home.” You smiled at her, trying your best not to sound panicked before closing the door to finally get in the car. Satoru was about to get in the driver’s seat but Naomi came out of the house and ran to him. Glancing at you, she held his hand, “We’ll talk about it later.” He told her, checking if his mother followed.

“Can’t you just…” Naomi was about to say something but held back, grabbed his collar, pulling him down to kiss his lips. You almost immediately looked away, seeing from your peripheral vision how she put Satoru’s arms around her waist. “Come home quick.” She whispered not so quietly at him. Getting in the car, you wondered if his mom told her about it.

“Naomi…” Satoru sighed, pulling away before looking at you with a concerned look in his eyes as he nodded away at her words. Leaving her, Satoru entered the car and started it. She stood there with a mixed look on her face that screams how irritated and upset she is with the events.

“You don’t have to file a restraining order against her. She’s still your mother.” You didn’t have to say that but you felt like you’re the reason why there’s a gap between them now. “She’s not good for Yui. I can’t have her around speaking about you like that in front of her.” He was breathing hard. “Can you calm down? You’re driving.”

“Sorry.” He muttered, before taking a deep breath. “I hope she won’t be there when I come back. I can deal with it on my own, whatever Naomi and I have to talk about.” He ranted, “I wish she didn’t intervene so much in everything I do. I feel like the decisions I made aren’t even mine.” He rarely talked like this back then. Actually, you rarely interacted like this back then.

“How’s…” Hesitating, he swallowed before continuing his question, “How’s Toji’s family to you?” He asked softly as if the information he’ll get can break him even more. It probably would. “He’s not that close to them, so they don’t really know much about us. I’ve met them twice when we picked up Megumi. They treat us kindly.” You glanced at him, seeing him purse his lips.

“That’s good for you. You won’t have to deal with something like this.” Satoru wanted to say that he’ll cut ties with his mother to protect you; to be with you. But knowing you, you’ll probably feel like it’s your fault and he doesn’t want that.

He’s aware that his mother influenced the decisions he made in the past. Talking to someone about it made him realize how wrong he approached things with you and how easily he let himself be swayed by the instant gratification that he felt when he gave up on your relationship.

None of it was worth it.

—--------------------------------------------------

Three Days Ago

“I can’t do that,” Naomi spoke as she tried to lean away from Satoru’s mom. They met at a cafe near her neighborhood. She was supposed to ask for advice, but it quickly turned into plotting how to lock Satoru to her. “Listen, Y/N was able to keep Satoru with her because they have a child together.” She tapped a sharp nail on the table.

Naomi would be lying if she said that she didn’t think about using that to get more of his time. She admit that she thought of a way to make him have a kid with her, even trying to lie about her safe day to make him do it inside her. She didn’t think that hearing it come from someone else can sound so sick and twisted.

If Satoru doesn’t want the kid, what’s going to happen to me; to us?

“Why are you worried? I’ve been in the same situation and I’m telling you, Satoru kept his father for me.” Naomi’s eyebrows bumped together as she thought of how easy it was for her to say something like that. “You did that to his father?” She asked in disbelief, wanting nothing but to go but desperate enough to stay.

“Not intentionally. But had I not told him, his ex-wife wouldn’t have left us alone and he wouldn’t have stopped running after her.” She took a sip of her coffee, making her seem so chill with her story. Naomi knows all of it for Satoru once told her. She just thought that his mother really baby-trapped his dad to make him stay.

Can Naomi really do that?

“You won’t baby trap my son, you just let him come to you. Attract him like you did back then.” She nodded at Naomi. “I just wanted to help him, then. I didn’t try to seduce him.” She defended herself, “But you did drink with him a few times? Tell me you didn’t get seductive with him during those nights.” She dared, and Naomi looked down.

She remembers telling him how she liked his eyes and how he was too hot to bury himself in problems. She also remembers nonchalantly telling him how he caught her eye when she first saw him. She knows that she liked to think of him and Yui as her own little family even before they started dating and she remembers promising him that they can make it work.

Was Naomi really being just a friend to him then? Or was she already falling for him when she tried to become what he needs during those times?

“Y/N was confident that she’ll get Satoru back and that’s why she let her guard down. Now, if you want to be her so much then, be happy-go-lucky and watch him dump you.” She shook her head, and the words easily got Naomi thinking twice. She’s not trying to be like you. She’s better than you.

She’s better for him than you.

“Why do you hate her so much?” Naomi suddenly asked, thinking out loud as she carefully thought about her decision. I mean, she didn’t really do anything to me.” If she’s going to think about it, other than the misunderstandings— which were probably caused by something offensive she did or said—you’re never antagonistic towards her.

“She ruined my son’s life. I shouldn’t have expected anything knowing how she got him, but she even had the nerve to try and make him do all the work. She’s probably just after the money..” No matter how hard she tried to recall, Naomi can’t remember him sighing over having Yui with you. “And you think she didn’t really do anything to you? You’re a bit naive.” Naomi’s forehead puckered at her statement.

“Didn’t you notice how she got a new man only now when it started looking like Satoru’s sure about you?” His mother might just be overthinking things but it didn’t help that the changes in her and Satoru’s relationship were almost perfectly timed with you getting a boyfriend. But what if it’s just Satoru? It could’ve been a coincidence, right?

Realizing how she was trying to convince herself in her mind, Naomi only felt worse. Maybe she really has to do something. After all, she swore to him that they can make it work. She’s not someone to just back down and give up on the one she loves when things get tough.

She’s better than you, and unlike you, she won’t run away; she’ll fight for their relationship.

—------------------------------------------

Arriving home, Yui was already wide awake. “...then, Dad will be back to buy a new cake with Yui! How’s that?” Satoru kissed her cheek as he put her down on the couch. The little girl got upset that her dad has to go so soon. She just stood there wordlessly, leaning on the couch as she refused to look at Satoru.

“It’s okay, I’ll talk to her. She’s just grumpy because her nap was disturbed.” Walking towards the little girl, you sat down and put her on your lap. “Say bye, now.” You pushed the stray hairs away from her face and Satoru can’t help but admire how much he missed just seeing the two of you waiting for him on his couch.

Yui was younger then; much smaller in your arms. And he felt like a real husband coming home to his wife and child when you’d be there, watching TV when he got home from work. It’s been more than a year now, he just thinks he’s lucky enough to still be close to you again.

You’re not as close as he wants you to be but this is more than enough for a beggar like him.

Leaning down to give your daughter a kiss, she turned away from him. “Yui, that’s not nice.” Her mouth was quivering but you know her too well. “You better go, they’re waiting for you there.” You looked at him but he only stared at you, sighing deeply. You felt like it was the hundredth time today.

He looked so worn out; like he was just ready to drop as soon as he gets these things out of his tail. You wondered if you looked like this to him back then, too. Probably not this bad because you don’t have a meddlesome mother who keeps trying to put her finger in the pie.

Before Satoru could answer, a knock on the door was heard. The door opened and a little boy holding his sippy cup stood by the doorway. Toji held the doorknob, staring at you and Satoru. What time is it? You thought. You remembered telling him that you’d be back by 4 in the afternoon. Yui was quick to jump from your lap.

“Dada! ‘Gumi! Dada! ‘Gumi!” She squealed at them and you could feel Satoru tense up beside you. She had been told by Toji about it, but hearing it from her friend isn’t helping at all. Megumi looked up at Satoru before looking at Yui. “Hey, hey, hey. What’s my name?” Toji bent down to pick her up when she kept stomping her feet and reaching up at him.

“Dada!” She laughed, before pointing at Megumi who was now taking his little bag from his father’s hand. “You’ll play later. Listen, tell your Dada what my name is.” Toji repeated just as Satoru regained his composure. “It’s alright,” He chuckled, “She probably thought you’re her Dada because you take care of her. And her mom.” You wanted to stop him, feeling bad that he had to pretend that he's cool about this.

Yui’s first word was ‘Dada’ and you could still remember how happy he was when he got her to say it before ‘Mama’. You can’t stand the thought of that memory becoming painful for him. “I gotta go, I’ll just pick her up again tomorrow.” He whispered to you, before nodding to Toji. “Bye, love. See you, tomorrow.” He waved at Yui, faking a smile before rushing to leave.

Yui waved back at him before wiggling out of Toji’s arms. She rushed to get her toys when he put her down. “She’s…she’s a kid” Biting your lip, you breathed out through your nose before walking to Toji and putting your arms around him. “Don’t run.” He called out to the children as giggled their way to Yui’s room. “I feel bad. I’m gonna talk to him later.” You mumbled.

Toji kissed your forehead before you pulled him to your room. “What’s going on?” He asked you, sitting on the bed. “Are you worried?” You asked, straddling him. “I am.” He answered, ignoring your actions. You looked up at him with a frown, remembering the misunderstanding that you had. “Why was he here?”

“Look, he just had to drop me and Yui off because his mother was in his house—” He cut you off, leaning away a bit from you. You know that you didn’t tell him that you were going to Satoru’s house with Yui because you were still upset about your argument the other day and earlier this morning.

“You told me the time but you can’t tell me where you were going?” Perplexity was clear on his face, “I didn’t want to agitate you further. I wouldn’t tell you right now if there’s another reason why I’m there except for Yui.” You tried to explain, feeling him put you beside him on the bed. “Y/N, that’s not the point.” He sighed, closing his eyes.

“Then, what is? I wasn’t planning to stay for long.” You kicked off your shoes, before turning to him. “Look, I’m sorry, ok? I just thought you were mad because of earlier.” You hugged his arm, putting your forehead on his shoulder. “And I was still upset.” Kicking his own shoes off, Toji pulled you on top of him as he leaned back on the headboard

“You have to tell me why you’re upset. It can’t be just the orange juice.” He spoke, grabbing your face as he kissed you. You moaned, breathing into him as you opened your mouth, letting his tongue find yours. His grunts sent vibrations to your core as you press yourself against him.

“Did you lock the door?” He murmured, taking off your cardigan before putting his hands on your buttocks. “Yeah, don’t worry.” You quickly took off your shirt before going back to kissing him, completely forgetting about what he was asking from you.

“As long as we can hear the laughs, they’re fine.” He chuckled, unclasping your bra before taking a nipple in his mouth. “Oh…” You moaned rubbing on his shoulders and tugging at the fabric of his sweater. His other fingers tweaked at your bud as he stared up at you, lustful eyes taking away your worries.

You really just don’t want to tell him that the mention of his wife is starting to trigger you.

Taking off the clothing, he flipped you on your back, removing your belt and jeans. His lips trailed kisses on your thighs as he go, massaging your calves before parting your legs, making you inhale sharply. “We can’t drag this long. Come here.” You giggled, ushering him to hover over you. “You know how they are…” You moaned when he started to kiss your neck.

His tongue and teeth bring pleasure and a bit of sting on your skin. “You just want it that much.” Winking at you, he discarded his remaining clothes before hovering over your womanhood. He smirked as he slid your underwear down, kissing your pearl. “Toji…” You whined, worried that this might get cut short if he doesn’t hurry.

“Alright, alright. I can’t just stick in. Let’s see…” Spreading your lips with two fingers, he eyed your heat with furrowed brows and his mouth slightly ajar, you can’t help but rock your hips against his hand, desperate for friction. Your eyes shut close when he put a finger in, slowly at first, before speeding up when he added a second one.

Toji panted, stroking his member when he felt you squeeze his digits. You’re dripping and he’s starting to ache. “Fuck.” He muttered as he leaned over to go for your lips, kissing you hard. He growled in your mouth when you whimpered as he rubbed on your pearl while massaging the sensitive spot inside you.

Pulling away when your legs started to tremble, Toji hissed as he tapped his head on the bundle of nerves before rubbing his length on your wet folds to lube himself up. “Toji, please.” You cupped your mounds, looking up at him. Seeing you like this drove him crazy, he had to hold back from just slamming himself into you.

Grabbing a pillow and putting it under your hips, Toji prodded your entrance with his tip. He opened your legs wider, taking in the sight of you being stretched and his shaft disappearing slowly until he was fully in. Leaning on the bed with one hand, he grabbed your jaw with the other and silenced your moans with his kisses.

“You can’t let them hear you.” He murmured as he clenches his jaw, pressing his nose on your cheeks and kissing it. He was moving steadily inside of you and whispering words of praises to your ear, “You take me so well now.” He teased you, groaning whenever your hole fluttered around him.

You gasped when Toji pushes your legs to your chest, pounding deeper into you as he sings your name like you do to his. His thrusts were unrelenting, merciless as he slams himself into you. Soon enough, your walls were starting to convulse and your nails were clawing on his arm.

“Come on. Let it go, hon.” You closed your eyes, feeling your chest throb at the nickname he used but the surges of pleasure that took over your senses flooded it out. Your hand covered your mouth, eyes rolling back as you writhed underneath him, coming undone with a cry of delight escaping your lips.

Your thighs trembled under his touch as he continued to rut into you, desperate for his high. “Oh fuck…Oh, Y/N.” Feeling your walls spasm and contract around him, he hurriedly pulled out and spilled his load on your womanhood. A sight to see, he thought as he watched your thighs still shaking from the pleasure.

“Wait a minute," Reaching over to your cabinet, Toji took the box of tissues before wiping you and himself clean. Hearing the jolly screams from the other room made you both laugh to yourself. "That's too quick. We gotta continue this later." He winked, throwing the tissues away before getting on the bed with you.

"Definitely." You let out a tired laugh as you put your head on his shoulder, sighing as the heavy feeling settled on top of your chest. Why did you have to remember him just from that word alone? Toji tilted your head up for a passionate kiss, blurring away the image of your ex inside your head.

“I have a request, though.” You looked down, avoiding his curious gaze. “Can you….can we not use ‘hon’?” You don’t know how weirdly you phrased the question until you looked at Toji to see him looking puzzled. “I mean…this is the first time you called me that and I’m, uh, not really comfortable with that. “

“Yeah, alright. But why?” Maybe you should’ve thought this through. You know Toji’s been getting moody whenever you two talk about anything concerning Satoru. You can’t really blame him after what happened that night. “I just… don’t feel it.” You lied, shrugging. “It’s not that bad, though. I could get used to it.” You smiled up at him, pecking his lips.

“Alright, I think I know.” He exhaled harshly, standing up from the bed to grab your clothes. Great. You just ruined the moment. “Are you mad?” You sat up, watching him get dressed. “No, I just wanna check on the kids.” He is mad. You clicked your tongue, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Babe, I just don’t want to–“

“Y/N. I said alright. I can’t do anything about it, anyway.” That doesn’t fix anything. “A lot of people use that, I just don’t get why you keep getting affected.” You stared at him, baffled. “It’s not like I want to do that. I can’t help my mind, there was a memory attached to that word.”

You stood up to get a robe, “You know that it’s not easy for me, too. I told you.” You uttered, watching his back through your vanity mirror as he stood still. “Maybe if you stop relating everything to him, then it won’t be so hard.” With that, he left the room and you don’t know if you’re hurt or just shocked that he would say something like that to you.

Because he does that to you too. And you thought that he, of all people, should understand where you’re coming from.

—————————————-

Satoru slid the door open with force, seeing Naomi flinch as she was startled by the sound. “Where’s mom?” He asked, breathing hard and eager to just put an end to the craziness she was doing. “I convinced her that we’ll be fine.” She walked to him, smiling as she put her arms around his neck.

“We just need to catch up on each other, I feel like we’ve been too occupied these days.” She buried her face in the crook of his neck, kissing the skin as she rubbed his nape with a soft, delicate hand. “Yeah, we got a lot to talk about.” Satoru put a hand on the small of her back. “But first, you gotta tell me what that was about.”

“I just invited her over. I didn’t know Y/N would be here, sorry.” She sighed, before dragging him to the couch. Satoru kept thinking about the scene before he left your house. That was just a lot to take in, especially when he just fought with his mother. “I got no work tomorrow, we can stay up all night.” She giggled, taking off her cardigan.

“Let’s have a couple of drinks during dinner. I’ll cook for you.” She proposed, walking to the kitchen. Checking his phone, he found himself expecting a text from you. None. You don’t give a fuck about him. He sighed, It’s okay. As long as I can see themi, he thought. He just hoped that you’d ask how things went in his house. Or if he’s hurt about ‘Dada’ Toji. All the things he shouldn’t expect.

Guess, I’ll fucking die of jealousy, then. He clenched his teeth proceeding to his bedroom. “I’ll wash up.” He spoke to Naomi, “Go on, baby. I’ll be making dinner.” She answered, glancing his way. If she’s going to be honest, she wanted to skip the talks. The truth is Naomi’s afraid of what he’ll say if she confronts him with her real thoughts.

She could easily skip those steps, and get to her goal.

Goal? Naomi’s movements halt as she realized how she sounded. She’s not a bad person, she thought. Is she really gonna do this? “If you want to be her so much then, be happy-go-lucky and watch him dump you.” Naomi’s breath hitched when his mother’s words reverberated in her head.

She can’t lose him. Not now when they’re almost settling down. She’s not being a monster, she’s not baiting him. He’ll come to her on his own like he did before. She’s just going to make him see that she’s good for him.

Dinner time came and she prepared it more than ordinary, hoping to ignite a light in him. It’s not usual for a woman to start something like this but Naomi’s different. As she said, she’ll fight for him. “Wow, is this a date?” Satoru chuckled sitting down in front of her seat. “I just wanted to rekindle. Your mom’s right, we’re just drifting away. I can’t stand that happening.”

Walking to her chair, Naomi stopped by him and kissed his cheek. Satoru on the other hand, can’t help but feel bad. He’s sure that nothing will change even if they do this. “Try. She’s a good person.” He quickly downed a drink, letting it take your voice away. Not because he doesn’t want to listen to you, but because he’s not sure if he can do it.

The dinner went by quickly, and they were just discussing over drinks. He can’t even count how many he downed when she started talking about how you look more plump. “They might beat us in giving Yui a sibling.” She joked, laughing because she didn’t know what was in his head. “I doubt it, she wanna get married first.” He replied monotonously before opening up about his counseling sessions.

“Counselling?” She asked. The topic is incredibly close to what Satoru’s about to confess. She stared at her wide eyes as he nodded. “Were you having problems? Baby, why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you.” Her concern was sincere and it made him feel like a villain. “I wanted to be better for Yui.” And for Y/N.

Clueless, she gave him a fond stare. “You’re a great father. Y/N knows that.” There were times during the dinner when Satoru was so close to spitting out the truth to her but the effort she put in just to make that food on the table makes him feel remorseful.

Satoru knows that it’s not right. But just for tonight, after all the months that he made him feel tranquil, he can spare her heart for a night or two. He didn’t want to hurt her, he didn’t want to break her heart. But staying would only mean that she’s never going to get what she wants and deserves.

“I’ll be brushing my teeth then, get to bed. The drink got to me.” He laughed, holding the chair as he stood up. “Thank you so much. For everything.” She came to hug him, kissing his lips as she murmured words of adoration to him. “Go ahead, you’re all red, can you walk?” She joked, before pushing him to go, “I’ll be with you in a few. I feel really sleepy now, too.”

It’s been almost half an hour. Naomi checked on Satoru to find him sleeping soundly already. Not even her slam of the door woke him up. She stared at herself in the mirror, “I’m really gonna do this.” She exhaled, closing her eyes before going walking out of the bathroom. He’s still in the same position as before.

Stepping closer, Naomi removed her silk robe, revealing her night dress. She clenched her fist tightly, before quickly releasing it just to try and get rid of the tension in her body. She sat on the bed, touching his chest and abs. Hearing him moan when she got to his lower part calmed her slightly. Just like we always do, she repeated in her head, kissing his skin.

“I’m sorry, Satoru…” She whispered one last time.

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viennakarma · 1 year ago

Text

Everything I Wanted II.

LESTAPPEN X READER (PART 2)

Summary: Your journey to become a Motorsport legend wasn't easy, especially when your path clashed with your greatest rivals, Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc.

Word count: 8.9k

Tags: Driver reader, mentions of crash, angst, abusive parent, daddy issues, trust issues, character death (not reader), cursing, strong rivalry, misogyny in motorsport, invasive media, aggressive fans, reader suffers with cyberbullying and hate, smut, female reader, +18, unprotected sex, voyeurism, exhibtionism, edging, filthy, porn with plot, queer! everyone, polyamory lestappen, bit of dirty talking, pet names, not beta read

Relationships: Lestappen x Reader

Mentor!Kimi Raikkonen x Reader

Sebastian Vettel, Fernando Alonso, Lewis Hamilton x Platonic!Reader

Notes: this is full of motorsport categories inaccuracies, just go with the vibes please. There are a few inaccuracies regarding other drivers' lives, but they are just to fit the story. This chapter is very angsty and none of it is an attack at the drivers nor their fans and personalities, please.

I know I KNOW, this got out of hand, AGAIN. I promise next part (and hopefully last) is more focused on the romance, and the happy ending reader deserves.

Find me on Twitter!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

You spent Christmas with your mom, sharing a lot of presents and watching a bunch of stupid Christmas movies. New Year’s was now a tradition to spend with the Raikkonen Family, joined with the closest friends for a little get together. It was a good opportunity to reconnect with Kimi’s kids who missed you a lot during the season.

Charles never contacted you during winter break, which you were sure was the best after that mistake. You hated each other too much and the only thing that could come out of that was toxicity from the both of you. You refused to even acknowledge what had happened and its implications, that wouldn’t and couldn’t mean anything.

During the pre-season testing in Bahrain, you and Charles were back to whatever your relationship was before that one lapse in judgment months before.

Nobody noticed anything.

One day, Fernando pulled you aside for a little chat. You two sat side by side on big moving boxes, sipping on energy drinks.

“There’s something I have been wanting to talk to you about since last year,” he started, seemingly pensive, distant.

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, yeah. Remember after we first met when you asked me if I had advice for you regarding your career?” Fernando said, and you remembered.

Right after you had gotten close, you asked him for advice, you always did, especially about racing. But one day, you were chatting about his career, and you asked if had any lessons you should never forget. He had laughed joking about read all your contracts then asking if you were calling him old, but he said if he ever had any advice, he would tell you.

“Yes, have you got my answer yet?”

“Sí, Nena,” he paused, looking deep into your eyes, “enjoy.”

You frowned and he saw the confusion on your face.

“I see much of my younger self in you, you know? The same passion, this fiery desire to win, your goal for the championship, to conquer the world…” Fernando paused, looking up to the clear sky, the sunset coming around, “And I did. But I wish I had enjoyed it more. I should’ve gone to parties, I should’ve visited the countries we went to and tried the food, I should’ve made more friends, I should’ve had more lovers… I was so focused on winning, on getting my hands on that trophy of champion of the world, that I missed out on a lot.”

You felt your eyes tear up, and you wiped it before the tears came down. Putting your hand on his shoulder, you smiled at him.

“It’s such an honor race with you. And an even greater honor to have you as a friend, Nano” you whispered to him, you two laughed as his eyes watered too, and slapping his shoulder you laughed, “don’t make me cry, you old softie!”

You took his advice to your heart.

You went to the parties, you met new people, and that’s how after two entire seasons, you managed to befriend Lando, your teammate. You two had to open your hearts a little bit and meet in the middle. Which proved to be great, the whole team loved the change in your dynamic. You still weren’t besties, but you were close colleagues, and that was great. Everyone noticed the change and it reflected on how you started racing as a team instead of individually.

The car was even better than the year before, and the first race of the season you got a promising win.

That win, Lando’s pestering, and Fernando’s advice was how you ended up in a party after the Bahrain GP. Wearing a skimpy mini dress and 5 tequila shots deep, swaying your hips to the sound of Rihanna. You were dancing and singing with Lando and a few of his friends, loudly screaming the lyrics.

When it was way too hot for you, you grabbed a water bottle and beelined your way out of the crowded dance floor. You found a corner of the VIP section where the AC seemed to be working better, and as you stumbled inside the small space, you ran chest first into someone.

“Sorry,” you said, taking a step back and pressing your back against the cold wall.

“Enjoying your win?” Your head snapped up as you recognised Max’s voice. You had run into him.

Lando had mentioned inviting Max to the party, he had gotten a P2 in the race but you doubted he would go to a party he knew you would attend. You were obviously wrong.

“You know I am,” the victory was so good that nothing could ruin your mood.

“Well, then enjoy it. I’m coming for the win, again.” He warned you but his voice was devoid of anything, just sounded like he was casually telling you about the weather. But you knew that he was implying his championship the year before, rubbing it in your face.

“Don’t be so confident, Max,” you finished your water, smirking at him, “Enjoy the view of my rear!”

You flipped your hair, feeling his eyes on you the whole walk back to the dance floor.

And yet-

Somehow-

You ended up back at that small corner, dancing with your body pressed between Verstappen’s and the wall, his hand holding your jaw firmly, you rolled your hips against him, feeling the way his body responded to yours.

“We can’t-” he said to you, still, his eyes hadn’t left your lips, like he was so oh so tempted.

You rolled your eyes, annoyed. Sober you would never do that, but then, that was a problem for later. Checking to see if anyone was looking at you, you hooked a finger around his waistband and pulled him towards the bathroom.

As soon as the two of you were inside, you locked the door and Max pressed your back against the door, latching his lips to yours in a very desperate open mouthed kiss. You hugged his shoulders, opening your lips to him, his hands went down your sides and he grabbed your ass, pulling you into him. But that wasn’t enough, so he held your thighs and pulled up, carrying you. You locked your legs around his waist, and he stopped the kiss to walk, sitting you on the marble side of the sink, still between your legs, forcing his bulge against your panties, and eliciting a moan from you.

He took a half step back to hike your dress up, palming your cunt over your panties feeling the dampness of it, he tried to press his hand under your panties, but the lacy fabric didn’t leave much space, so he simply tore the bottom of them, exposing you to him. He just ran a finger over your slit, collecting your wetness for a brief moment before pushing a finger into you. Max watched your face with concentration, studying your body’s responses. Your hips shaking at the movement of his finger, and when the second one joined, you got louder. He curled his fingers up, his thumb pressing your clit, and you had to use both hands to hold onto him, your head lolling back against the mirror.

“Take it and shut the fuck up,” he grunted between clenched teeth.

He was pressing your insides so good, the slick sound of his fingers going in and out, his heavy breathing, the loud music outside and his laser focused fingers had you coming against his fingers in minutes. When he noticed you close, cunt spasming against his fingers, he pressed the other hand against your mouth, covering your moans when your toes curled and you orgasmed on his hand.

Max barely let you recover as he opened his jeans and stroked himself twice before pushing his cock into you in one swift move, making you gasp at the sudden intrusion.

“That’s what you wanted, right? Fucking teasing me all night,” He pushed particularly hard, hitting your g-spot, making you see stars, “you’re a fucking menace, y’know that? Fucking insufferable,” then his words became a mumbling of something dutch you couldn’t quite catch anymore with the way his hips snapped against yours, taking all your focus away and turning you into a mess of moaning.

Max fucked like he raced, focused and relentless, brutal. He hugged you with one arm around your waist to keep you in place and the other held you face, tilting your head so he could kiss you, or whatever that mess of saliva, tongues and teeth was. Your orgasm crashed through you unexpectedly, and you only hugged him tighter, pressing your face against his chest, biting into his skin through the fabric of his T-shirt to silence yourself, your teeth sinking into him was enough to send him also over the edge, coming with moans against your ear.

That night, you went home with shaking legs and an incoming headache, as Max left with the scraps of your panties in his pocket and your lipstick stain on his shirt, above his chest.

It was the seventh race of the year, Monaco, and you absolutely hated that specific track since your years of F2. During your two first years in F1 you had awful experiences, the rookie year you DNF and the year prior you had barely managed a P7. You were trying to keep your head up, be hopeful that you could at least try for top 5.

But since you couldn’t catch a fucking break, an old video of your teenage years resurfaced.

You were walking to your first round of interviews when Amanda, your PR manager, started walking by your side.

“There’s something. An old video of a karting competition resurfaced, where Max and Charles pretty much call you stupid,” Amanda was always direct, you could give it to her.

“Let me see the video” you asked, offering your hand for her phone.

“We don’t have time, but everyone will ask you about it. I need you to be the bigger person and act like it isn’t important, yes? They will try to taunt you and get a bad reaction from you, I need you to dismiss everything they throw at you. Agreed?”

You sighed. You knew the stuff from your teens were pretty bad, you rarely badmouthed Max or Charles, but they always felt threatened by you, so there were lots of instances they attacked you. Honestly, you just didn’t want to come out of this victimized. So as you entered the first round of interviews, you decided you were going to downplay anything they asked you.

“Y/N, have you seen the footage of you, Max and Charles from your teenage years that resurfaced recently?”

“No, uh, I haven’t.”

Someone pushed an iPad in your hands because of course, they wanted a live reaction from you. You pressed play, reading the subtitles someone put on the video. It was an amateur recording like a post race interview made by another teenage guy. First as Max walked out of the track, the guy asked what he thought of your win.

“It was luck, she’s not bright enough to think of a strategy,” Max said, walking away, clearly pissed having lost to you.

There was a cut and the camera was turned on again when Charles walked toward the guy asking the question. He repeated exactly the same question he had asked Max.

“Y/N, I don’t worry about her long term. She’s not going very far in this sport anyway,” Charles shrugged, seemingly unbothered.

As the video cut again, it showed your face, you remembered when that was. You were 14, and your dad had dropped you a few months earlier, so you were working your ass off balancing school, work and karting.

“Hey, Y/N. What do you think of your result today?”

“Uh, I tried a new strategy I learned earlier this week, thankfully it worked in my favor,” teen-You dried your forehead with your coat’s sleeve.

“What are your plans for this competition?”

“Well, I hope to be good enough to get into F4 next year, and work my way up into Formula 1,” you smiled softly and walked away after a quick bye.

The video ended and you still spent a few seconds staring at the black screen of the iPad. This interview didn’t come to your mind in more than a decade, but it was nice seeing how you made your 14-year-old dream come true.

“So, what do you say?” The reporter extended his mic to you.

“I guess I proved them wrong, right?” You giggled a little, “don’t take it to heart, really. We were all hormonal teenagers, I’m sure if someone digs, they will find a video of me saying the same stuff about them,” you shrugged, despite that being a lie, sounded dismissive enough.

“So it doesn’t upset you?” The reporter insisted, and you knew he wanted a scandal you weren’t willing to give.

“Of course not. I’ve always known my worth, and I’m P1 in the driver’s championship as of right now. So I don’t really care.”

The interviewers soon let the video go, when they realized you didn’t care about it. You weren’t sure if anyone would also approach Charles or Max with questions about the same video, but you couldn’t care less, you wanted to avoid drama for the time being so you could focus on the championship instead of this bullshit.

On the morning of qualifying, you were in your room, trying to meditate and clear your mind, when a knock interrupted you.

“Guys, I asked for twenty minutes so I could-” you stop yourself when you realize it isn’t anyone from your team, but it’s Max and Charles, “what are you doing here?”

“We came to apologize about the video,” Max started.

“Did your PR teams send you here?” You looked around, trying to catch a camera or even a phone recording.

“No uh, we realized we were very immature with you, and this video is just proof of how silly that was,” Charles sighed, seemingly embarrassed.

“You don’t need to apologize, I mean- the two of you really had it out for me, you called me dumb a lot,” you pointed to Max, then Charles, “and you called me ugly countless times. I don’t know why it would make any difference now.”

You were just so used to being defensive, to protect yourself from hatred you found it hard to believe them, to give them a chance to apologize because you couldn’t believe it to be genuine.

“Even if you don’t take it, or believe it, I would like to apologize for that behavior. I was just a stupid kid.” Max looked deep into your eyes, which could’ve made you uncomfortable if he didn’t seem so honest.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. It was too idiotic to be like that to you, growing up. You were just a kid too.” Charles added.

You understood where that apology came from, it was stupid and embarrassing for all three of you this teenage rivalry when you all were barely mid racers back in the day. Sighing, you looked around, dropping your façade for a second, allowing yourself to display the same honesty they showed you.

It was hard and required some sort of deprogramming because you could only see them as rivals, like your dad had whispered in your brain so many times before, like their actions towards you had cemented dad’s words. They had said things that were on your mind for so long, that had made you defensive and deflective.

“Look, don’t worry about it. Whatever happened back then, it’s water under the bridge,” You shifted on your feet. As they started walking away, you added “this doesn’t mean we’re friends.”

They only nodded before leaving. Your routine went back to the same, and as the next scandal went on, people forgot about the silly video, but a very specific part of the fans started shipping you and both your rivals.

The rivalry never died down though.

Then, out of nowhere, Sebastian pulled you and Lewis aside to a conversation. Then he told you that he was going to retire by the end of the season. It was the first time the two of them saw you cry, and Sebastian hugged you tight, shushing your crying softly.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered, petting your head.

“No, don’t apologize,” you let him go, drying your face, “I have listened to you talking countless times about how you missed the kids. Don’t apologize for choosing to be a great dad. I know Hanna and the kiddos will be ecstatic.”

“You two are my closest friends here, that’s why I wanted to tell you first, before my announcement.”

“Thank you, Seb,” you said, eyes still watering, “I’m going to miss having you around.”

“Thank you for telling us beforehand,” Lewis said, also visibly emotional.

The season was writing itself to be just as close as the year prior, but now you were slightly better at keeping the lead most.

That is until Zandvoort. This GP was always a nightmare to you, because it was full of Max’s fans, and they absolutely hated you for being his rival. You had been booed when you were on the podium the year before, so now, you and Amanda decided it was best to keep your head down during the whole week. Not out of shame, but more of a matter of safety, you didn’t know how far the crowd could go in antagonizing you. When you were booed the other year, Max had said it was part of the sport and dismissed the conversation.

The morning of free practice, you went into the paddock very low-key and kept to yourself. You arrived with a little cup of coffee and got mentally ready for a hostile environment the whole weekend. That, until you spotted a small group of people dressed with your color and wearing your number, waving wildly to you.

In a spur of the moment decision, you went there, getting close to the barrier to sign a few caps and take a few selfies. In retrospect, you knew you shouldn’t have done that, especially with only two bodyguards accompanying you.

You were finishing chatting with your fans when you felt something heavy hit the side of your head and the impact made you stumble backwards, you were confused as you heard the screams and felt one of the bodyguards pull you back, as the other jumped the barrier and started running. You patted your temple and something wet and sticky was dripping down the side of your face. You stared at the small group of fans who were looking at you horrified. Staring at the hand, you saw the red staining your fingers, and as the bodyguard kept pulling you away to somewhere safer, the thing flowed even more and got into your left eye.

You wondered if it was blood as you touched your temple but felt nothing, not a gash nor small cut. You covered your left eye as it started to sting from what you supposed smelt like paint.

“Hey, hey, what happened? You’re bleeding!” Max jogged up to you.

“Not blood, just paint” you muttered, trying to use your coat to clean your face.

“Someone threw a paint ball at her,” the bodyguard said.

“Fuck, it’s burning!” You exclaimed, feeling tears in your left eye.

“Come here, the RB hospitality is close,” Max said, holding your wrist, he stopped shortly pointing to your bodyguard, “and you, sort this and find the person who did it.”

You let yourself be taken by Max into the RB territory, the burning so annoying that you rather take whatever solution he was thinking of. He held your waist and placed you sitting on a sink, and then you felt water streaming down your face.

“Stay still,” Max commanded, holding a hose over your head, pouring water down your face, “now blink slowly, let the water wash it,” his voice soft as you did what he told you to. Slowly but surely, it washed the paint away, relieving your left eye from the stinging. Max held the hose up and held your chin, tilting your head up so he could check your eye, still letting the water stream down your face.

You took a few minutes, breathing and regulating your heartbeat from that scare, trying to come back to normal and understand fully what was going on. From what you gathered, you were chatting with fans when someone else came and threw something with paint at you.

“How does it feel?”

“It’s better, already stopped burning,” you told him, feeling your heart miss a beat at the close proximity you found yourself to him. You were sitting on a sink, Max standing between your legs pretty much like you two had done months before for entirely different reasons.

“Open your eye, let me see,” he asked, and you tried to blink it open, “can you see?”

“It’s a little blurry but I believe it will get better,” you explained, and he didn’t let go of your chin. Suddenly, he covered your right eye with the other hand, leaving you only with your left eye sight.

“How many fingers am I putting up?” He showed it to your left eye. The vision was a bit blurry but you still could make out the shapes very clearly.

“Four, Max. It’s just a little bit blurry, probably will get better in a few minutes” you sounded annoyed, you tried to move but he pressed a hand against your waist, keeping you in place.

“Now, what happened?” He asked finally. You ignored the proximity, and the hand still on your body.

“We’re in Zandvoort, that’s what happened,” you shrugged, really annoyed about it.

“What do you mean?” He was visibly confused. You scoffed because you knew it wasn’t something he didn’t know, since the year before he has dismissed the importance of how hostile people were to you.

“We’re massively surrounded by your fans, Max.”

“I don’t understand.”

“They hate me because you hate me, and they think because you hate me they’re justified in their hostility towards me,” You explained, with a sigh, you pushed away from Max, “this GP has been like this for me ever since Rookie year.”

“I don’t hate you,” he said, brows furrowed.

“You do. And they do too,” you pointed down at the paint that had also stained your shirt as proof.

“I don’t,” he insisted and you rolled your eyes, jumping off the sink, but he didn’t give you space, which made you stand chest to chest with him, “I promise.”

You stared at him, breathless. That wasn’t part of the game you played, being kind, sounding worried and making promises. None of that was part of this whole rivalry. Pushing his chest, you tried getting away but he caged you against the sink, body flush against yours.

“Do you believe me?” He asked and your eyes fell to his lips, and you allowed yourself to remember the desperate and chaotic kisses you had shared in a dimly lit bathroom, “I don’t support any of this behavior.”

You heard voices and steps approaching, which made you finally push him away, walking towards the door. Whatever little magic had been happening between those walls was undone the moment you remembered none of that would’ve happened if he had politely put a stop to it earlier.

“It’s part of the sport and I have to deal with it, right?” You returned the very same words he had said about you when you were booed by the crowd the year prior.

As you opened the door, you were faced with Sebastian. He stopped, taking you in and then pulling you in a hug.

“Are you ok? We just heard what happened!” He murmured, guiding you out of the bathroom. He held your shoulders and looked at your face, checking how your left eye was still a little red, “we should take you to see a doctor, come on.”

Lewis soon arrived at the entrance of the RBR station, he warned about the reporters crowding outside, waiting for a glimpse of you after the attack. The British man gave you a Mercedes coat so you put it over your head and avoid the cameras waiting outside. With the bodyguards and both Lewis and Sebastian leading you away, you ended up at the medical center, and after a quick examination, the doctor gave you eye drops to put throughout the day.

Your Principal suggested you sit the FP1 out, letting the reserve driver take your place while you recovered. By the middle of FP1, your eyesight was 100% and you went to get ready for FP2. The whole day you felt like everyone was being extra careful, tiptoeing around you. You hated feeling like you were being pitied, so when the inevitable round of interviews came, you knew what you had to do.

“We heard about your incident earlier today, how are you feeling about it?” Someone asked.

“I’m pretty upset, to be honest. Formula 1 is a sport loved around the whole world, and the paddock overall is supposed to be a safe place not only for the fans, but also the workers and drivers. What happened today is unacceptable and could’ve been much worse. I’m voicing my dissatisfaction and I intend to, through legal means, take this complaint to the FIA.”

Later that night, as you laid awake on your bed, scrolling through the repercussions of the day, you stopped when you saw a snippet of Max's interview.

“What happened today was dangerous and unacceptable, I don’t support this behavior and I stand with Y/N,” that was all he said, but Max usually was a man of few words, always knowing when it was enough.

You knew he should’ve voiced that much earlier in your career, specifically after the booing the year before, but still- He also could have opted to not say anything at all, and he didn’t.

Amanda also sent you the news that the fan who had attacked you was found and banned for life from Formula 1.

After calling Sebastian, you managed to get ahold of Max’s phone number and texted him a simple message.

Thank you. Twice. - Lioness

The text went to read almost immediately, and the three dots appeared from his side of the screen. You wait, and wait, and wait. And then the dots disappeared, and an answer never came.

After a solid P2 that weekend in Zandvoort, you went home for the summer break. You and your mom had planned to go to Monaco for a little while since you were planning on buying a place there. From there, you and your mom would go all around the French Riviera to enjoy the sea and spend a few days in a spa resort. Then, you would go back home and relax before going to Ibiza for a weekend to meet Lando and his friends to enjoy some partying.

Everything went according to plan, but one day when you came back home after the trip to the French Riviera, you found your mom passed out on the living room floor.

You called an ambulance, quickly taking her into the hospital. Everything was a blur, the tests and scans, your mom still unconscious on a hospital bed, and the results. The results that pulled the floor from under your feet.

Your brain couldn’t fully compute what was said. Cancer Stage 4. Surgery. Palliative care.

The world was muted around you as you sat on a chair in the waiting room, hands shaking when you tried to understand what was happening. You somehow ended up calling the one other person you trust.

“Y/N? What happened?”

“I don’t understand- she just- she just passed out and I thought- but- but they said- palliative care” you try to come up with words.

“Talk to me. Are you sick?” Kimi’s voice is so focused and a little soothing.

“It’s mom”

“Send your location, I’m going there,” that’s all he said.

Waiting for Kimi gave you some sense of purpose, because it’s Kimi. He could fix anything. He fixed your life when you were 14, he can do it again. He would get there and find a way to help. Your mind got so clouded when the word cancer was thrown in the conversation, that you probably missed the part about treatments and- and surgery and stuff.

In your mother’s room there was a comfortable couch where you tried to settle to sleep, but you only spent countless hours awake. You hoped to see the doctor again to try and get him to explain everything for a second time.

You wished you were smart and quick, but no, you just sat there holding onto the hope that Kimi had a way to fix this.

Kimi arrived early the next morning, knocking on the door before entering. You stood up, hugging him tight.

“What happened?”

“It’s pancreatic cancer, they said. We need to see more about surgery and- and treatments.”

You and Kimi found the doctor, who explained again, and in that moment you finally understood what he meant the first time around. She was in a late stage of pancreatic cancer, which was usually a very difficult illness to find before it is too late, due to the placement of the organ in the body and late symptoms. The only options were either to try a very risky surgery and chemo so she could extend her life for around 8 months to a year. Or she could go home to live her last few months the way she wanted.

You begged and cried and bribed and offered every single solution your brain could muster to try and save her. Kimi held you when you fell to the floor, sobbing.

When your mom woke up and you and Kimi told her the diagnosis, she cried too, sobbing in your arms as you tried to hold it together for her sake. It took a couple of days for her to choose to go home. The two of you spent the last days of summer break traveling around the world a bit more, visiting temples and statues, and seeing nature and everything good the world had to offer, going to places motorsport hadn’t taken you to.

Your mom went to every race week from there on, even when she felt especially weak, even when you had to hire a full time medical team for her.

Your focus on the season was solely on the moment between entering the car and leaving the car. You still managed to race like you’ve done before, calm and controlled, with the help of your engineers and team, you still could put the car where you wanted it, paving your way for a solid world championship that year. It was like your brain was seeing racing as the one thing in your life you had full control over, so sometimes you even felt like you and the car were one.

You didn’t tell anyone about her. Though every driver noticed how distant you were, even Charles and Max and the ones that weren’t very close to you noticed how you were only fulfilling your obligations and leaving, you weren’t even celebrating your wins, leaving the fastest you could after a race.

The Singapore GP was tough for you, having to leave your mom home alone with the medical staff and a couple of friends from her book club, since she wasn’t strong enough to travel anymore. Your attention was failing all throughout media day and free practices. Qualifying was shit compared to your performance the rest of the season.

In Q3 you did a reasonable sector 1 and 2 but you messed up sector 3 completely. It was a complete accident when you got in the way of a Ferrari when he was doing his fast lap, and you ended up messing his qualy too. Jace let you know it was none other than Charles Leclerc, who was setting the pace for a pole position. Out of 19 drivers, you had to ruin his lap. In the end, Max got pole, Charles qualified P3 and you qualified P5.

You went through the motions during the post qualifying press. You were about to leave after debriefing, when Charles Leclerc found you on the way to the parking lot. You pulled your coat tighter around yourself protectively as he walked up to you. You were hoping to escape his fury at least until after the race the next day. Before he could even get a word in, you started.

“Look, I know I messed up your pole. I know you won’t believe me, but it wasn’t intentional. I really thought there was no one doing fast laps on the track, I thought everyone was either still doing out laps or in the pits, so when you-”

“Calm down, breathe,” he interrupted you, “I’m not here to fight.”

“No?” You frowned, confused with the kindness in his eyes.

“We know you’re going through something, and I’m sure I’m the last person you want to hear this from, but you’re not alone. And you should really consider talking with someone on the grid. They’re all- we’re all worried about you.”

The words felt alien coming from his mouth, but the gentleness was so comforting you felt a lump in your throat.

“Why do you think I’m not ok?” You muttered trying to sound confident, but your voice failed, betraying you.

“You’re skinny and you look sleep deprived for a few weeks now,” Charles said directly.

“Damn, thanks.”

“I don’t mean it like that, you know it,” he paused, putting both hands on his pockets, “have you been eating?” Your lack of response made him press further, “have you eaten today?”

You pressed your lips together, not wanting to answer that.

“Let’s go, I’ll drive you to the hotel, we’ll stop on the way to grab some food,” Charles gestured to his car, a few meters away. You stood there, shocked as he started walking away, then he stopped looking over his shoulder, “come on, I don’t have all the time in the world.”

As you sat in his Ferrari, Charles put music on and you didn’t do much talking, but it was tranquil. He called the restaurant to order take out on the way, and 30 minutes later he dropped you off at the hotel with a bag full of food.

“Thank you, Charles.” You whispered before leaving the car.

You ate the food while on a video call with your mom.

You recovered well during the race, finishing P2, behind Max and ahead of Charles.

Your mom passed away a few days after the Japanese Grand Prix, the one you had won and dedicated it to her from the top step of the podium, even if she wasn’t there, just watching from home. You went home and stayed with her, holding her hands and hugging her as much as you could.

Some part of you knew she was somehow fighting, because she had promised you the year before she would be there when you became world champion. You could see she was hoping to make it to the end of the season, but you also knew she wouldn’t, and you rather she didn’t have to endure any more pain just for your sake.

“You don’t need to fight anymore, ma,” you whispered before she went to sleep, “you raised a strong woman, too. I will see you on the other side, ok? You can rest now, I love you.”

“I’m so proud of you, honey. I love you to the moon and back.”

You made it through her small funeral, following what she had written down before passing. An intimate funeral, full of flowers and a toast to her life. You cried the whole time, with Kimi and Minttu taking turns at comforting you as they could. Coming back to an empty home smelling of cleaning products made you almost lose your mind, and the sight of you in such despair was enough for Kimi to convince you to stay with them until you had to travel for the next race, in almost seven days.

The days passed in a crying blur, you let part of your team know about your mom’s passing. Only Amanda, Jace and your Principal. Jace tried to convince you to take a break and not go to the next race in Austin, but you quickly shut it off. Not only because racing was the one thing keeping you sane amidst the chaos, but because you were so close to the championship, and it was still close competition with Max and Charles, so you couldn’t afford to lose a race and the points that could come with it.

You had to honor your mom in some way.

That’s how you ended up on a plane to Austin with Kimi and Amanda. You knew Kimi had convinced you to let him go because he was sure you’d have a mental breakdown anytime along the weekend, but deep down you appreciated the company. Arriving there, Jace was the first to hug you and whisper his condolences, as well as your TP too.

You survived the entire weekend without breaking down crying in public, but that was your worst race in a few months, the first time out of a podium since Spa. You ended up P5, which luckily wasn’t too bad because Max finished P4 which you were grateful for as he was the one who was P2 in the driver’s championship close behind you.

After that week, you packed your stuff and moved to the new condo in Monaco you had bought during summer break. Despite loving your mom to pieces, you couldn’t manage to live alone in the house you bought for her a couple of years before, it was lonely and it hit you with overwhelming waves of sadness all the time. You distracted yourself a lot with buying furniture and decorations for the new place, and discovering Monte Carlo in a whole new way. The one comfort in all that, was knowing your mom wasn’t suffering anymore.

Then you went straight to Mexico for the next Grand Prix, this time, Kimi left you because he had to come home to Minttu and the kids. Amanda had been such a support for you, that you knew you had to give her something special for the holidays, out of gratitude.

Everything was going as expected until the press conference. You were there with Charles, Max, Sebastian and Lando. You suspected they were putting you always in the same group as Max and Charles because, as the season nearing the end, only three races left, they were your close competition.

While someone asked something of Charles, you were whispering with Sebastian, chatting about Mexican foods you wanted to try after the race. Then, something bizarre happened, and phones started to ping all around the room, between reporters, cameras and everyone else started checking their phones. It seemed like something out of a black mirror nightmare.

You reached for your phone but then remembered you left it to charge in your room.

“This question is for Y/N,” a reporter asked, reading something from his phone, “there’s a new article that just came out saying your mom passed away a couple of weeks ago, is that true?”

Your blood ran cold, and every sound felt like it was muted inside the room. Wide eyed, you searched for Amanda, who was somewhere on the opposite side of the room, and when you found her, she was pale. Then, there was a cacophony of voices and cameras and questions, that made you suddenly overwhelmed.

Swallowing, trying to reassess, you found Sebastian already standing, holding your shoulders. Looking around you noticed how the other three drivers had stood up, making some sort of shield around you, protecting you from the cameras and reporters swarming around.

“We can go, ok? Come on,” Sebastian was saying when Amanda caught up to you, leaning beside Sebastian.

“We can leave, right now,” she said, holding your hand.

Still a little confused, you nodded and let them both guide you back to your room.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry for your loss,” Sebastian hugged you, running his hands on your back for comfort.

“How- how did they find out?” You ask Amanda.

“An article came out, I’m not sure. Someone was probably digging into your life, but don’t worry, I put the team on it already.”

“How do- how we diffuse this? How do we proceed? We need to address this, right?” You started blabbering, trying to wrap your head around everything.

“That was very disrespectful of them to ask like that!” Sebastian exclaimed, making you two jolt.

“We’ll do whatever you’re comfortable with. Do you want me to release a note asking for privacy?” Amanda suggested.

“Can I write something and then run it by you?” You asked, she only nodded.

After a moment, both Amanda and Seb left you alone as you typed a note on your phone. You rewrote and deleted a few times before settling on something heartfelt and respectful but also, calling out the invasion of privacy.

My mom passed away a few days ago after battling with cancer for the past few months.

She had requested of me to keep it a secret until after the season was over, so I could mourn her without the weight of racing over my shoulders.

But obviously someone went digging and disrespected not only one of her last wishes but also disrespected my grief and my right to privacy. I love my mom but I’ll not be answering any more questions about her illness or death, please respect me and respect her memory.

All the love, Y/N

Nobody asked anything over the weekend, but again, it felt like everyone was tiptoeing around you. As soon as you first saw Nano the next day, he held you tight for almost a minute whispering his condolences, and it made you almost cry again. Lewis also spared you a hug, saying if you ever needed anything, to contact him.

You survived that weekend, and decided to go straight to Brazil for the next GP instead of going back to Monaco. In São Paulo you mostly slept your worries and fears away. You had promised yourself to try and focus on the season only, to make your dream come true, to fulfill your mom’s promise in some way.

With Ferrari’s bad strategy in Mexico, they had ruined Charles’ chance at the championship. Now your only competition was Max and the Red Bull rocketship.

You rewatched the race a couple of times as you usually did, to try and catch any mistakes you or your team may have made, to fix it for the next one. But also to try and notice any weaknesses of your rivals, if it was something you could use in your own favor.

You noticed right away in the FP1 that your car wasn’t adhering to the track, you were losing balance and needed more force than usual to keep yourself in place. By FP2, you managed to control your car better, but that caused your tyres to wear off way more quickly.

Quali was one of the shittiest you’ve ever done in your career, taking you out in Q2 for the first time that year, placing you for a start at P12.

“Listen, we’ll do better tomorrow, ok?” Jace told you as soon as you entered the garage, seeing Max still out with a shot at pole position.

“Give me a few minutes to unwind, please,” you asked, dropping your helmet, balaclava and gloves at a nearby table.

You went straight to your room, searching for your phone. Immediately calling Kimi, you waited for him to pick up.

“I watched it,” he said first and foremost.

“If I do bad in the race tomorrow, and Max does well, then I’m gonna lose the championship, Kimi,” saying that out loud made you shiver in horror, “FUCK!” You screamed, kicking a chair.

“First of all, even if you did bad tomorrow, you’d still have a chance to fight for the championship in Abu Dhabi. You know that,” Kimi warned you as if he was scolding a little kid, “second of all, I never taught you this loser mindset. You’ll have to find a way to work around the problems in your car tomorrow.”

“Shit, I’m so fucked! How? How could I even-”

“Remember when I first met you? Your kart was with almost this same problem, yeah? Remember you got P2? You went ahead and fixed it. That’s what I need you to do tomorrow, don’t focus on what you can’t do, only focus on what you can do.”

“I’ll try my best.”

“No trying. Do it.”

After spending the entire night crafting plan A, B, C and Z with you strategists and engineers, you barely got any sleep, but you forced yourself to rest. In the morning, you went to the track early to meet with your team again, to run your strategies one more time, when you had an idea. You’d still follow the plans you had carefully crafted with the team, but you decided to make a Plan Star, as you had called. Interlagos didn’t have any safety car in the last two years, so it was dangerous to fully count on one. But your plan star consisted in the case of a safety car in this one specific window of laps, you’d go to the pits for hards, counting on everyone else being on old softs or mediums at that specific point in the race. But for it to work, you had to be the first of the front field to go in.

As the lights went out and you accelerated, you got already three positions up, landing in P9, and luckily, the points zone. Jace was worried in your ears, talking about the car and the tyres management. With controlled calm and Kimi’s voice in your head, you managed a few more positions in the first 14 laps, landing P7. You lost a bit of time there, since Nando was P6 and everyone knew how tough it always is to overtake him. But you eventually managed to get the position. Unfortunately, it was the moment you had to go to your first pitstop. Due to the problems in your car wearing off your tyres, you would have to go for a two-stop, which ended up costing you three positions again. But you were patient and you were rewarded when the other cars had to pit, which gave you back the four places you had lost.

The race you went on and you barely moved up or down from your P5, but you managed to concentrate.

Jace, on the other hand was sounding more and more worried about your second pit stop, about the difficulty in get closer to P4, about the P6 trying to enter DRS zone behind you, with your tyres wearing off, with the-

“Jace, I love you but please shut the fuck up, I know what to do,” you were praying for a miracle when suddenly, there was a yellow flag, and the safety car went out during the perfect window of laps, “fuck, Jace, this is plan star.”

“Copy,” he paused, his voice sounding secure, “Box, box.”

You changed into hards, no one else went to the pits, and the race restarted after three more laps. The safety car had closed the gap between you and the P4, which made you overtake him easily.

Jace was still keeping quiet to help your concentration, he only interrupted to warn you about overheating your tyres, and your velocity per lap compared to the next position. You started overtaking like a madwoman as much as your tyres allowed.

“That’s P1, Lioness,” Jace told you.

“Copy that.” You said with your voice shaken.

As you managed your P1, you went back to be aware of your surroundings, seeing a Red Bull right behind you, trying to overtake but you managed to hold position.

When you took the checkered flag, you sighed with relief, Kimi was right.

“Congratulations, Y/N! That’s a brilliant, brilliant win!” Jace’s voice was sounding shaken too.

“You’re crying, Jace?” You laughed softly.

“It’s an honor to tell you that you, Y/N Y/L/N, are a Formula 1 world champion!” Jace shouts, and behind him you can hear more people screaming.

“What? Jace you’re fucking with me!”

“No, Lioness, you’re the 2022 champion of the world!”

“But- but how? There’s one race left? And Max was right behind me!”

“No, Verstappen DNFed during that one yellow flag. Behind you was Perez.”

You made the calculations quickly in your head. Max was P2 in the championship, but this DNF meant no points, and even if he managed to win the last race in Abu Dhabi, he wouldn’t be able to equal you in points. So-

“OH MY GOD, oh my god!” You screamed your lungs out, feeling the tears streaming down into your balaclava, “Fuck yes! I’m Formula 1 World Champion! Thank you, thank you so much guys! Jace, holy shit, I’m the champion!”

“You’re the champion!” Jace confirmed.

You felt joy in a way you hadn’t felt in a long, long time, as you stopped your car on the number one spot. Still a little dizzy from the thrill, you left the car, going straight to your team, heavily waiting for you. They all hugged you, hitting your helmet, saying congratulations and everything. You took a moment to hug Jace and Amanda, who had been of great support throughout the year.

After getting weighted and being congratulated by the other two on the podium, Perez and Hamilton, the latter hugging you tight as he took you off the floor, you drank water as you waited for the post race interview with Nico Rosberg.

You were giddy, barely holding yourself together with how happy you were feeling, how you wanted to hold the trophy, how grateful you were and more importantly, how you felt a great weight being lifted off your shoulders.

“Y/N, congratulations on becoming a World Champion! I have to say, as a girl dad, it is great to see you become the first woman ever to win this title. How do you feel? What do you want to say?” Nico offered, with a kind smile.

“To be honest, I can barely contain myself. It’s such an honor to be here and be the world champion. I look at the past and see my younger self who never thought would make it to Formula 1. It’s such a dream come true, after this year’s hardships, I’m glad to achieve the greatest dream of them all!” You said, kinda quickly, rambling as you tried to put into words all the emotions mixed with the happiness, “I’m sorry, I know I’m taking up all your time, I just want to dedicated this win, and this championship to three people who saved my life: Kimi, thank you for being the salvation of my career when we first met; And my mom, who’s not here anymore, thank you for being the light in my darkest days. And lastly, I want to thank myself for working my ass off and never giving up.”

You muttered a thank you as Nico only laughed at your rambling. Before you moved to the cooldown, you grabbed the mic back again.

“May I add one last thing?” You asked for Nico, who only nodded, pointing to the camera again, “This is to my father: I made it, you asshole.”

You wanted to send the middle finger too, but you knew you couldn’t because of the FIA’s guidelines, and you were already risking a penalty for cursing on live TV. In the cooldown room, you sat beside Lewis, watching a few highlights of the race on the screen. It showed a couple of your overtakes.

“Damn, you overtook like crazy,” Lewis muttered, seemingly amazed.

“I pulled a Lewis Hamilton in Interlagos last year,” you joked, and he laughed.

That podium felt like the culmination of everything you had worked for your whole life, felt like recovering your love for the sport for what it was, for the fast cars and the adrenaline. Being on that podium in Brazil as a World Champion shifted something inside you forever. During your anthem, you laughed, and when you got the trophy, you cried, pointing the trophy to the sunny sky with a silent prayer to your mom. You barely noticed, but you felt the champagne raining on you, and opened your arms to shower in it. Putting the trophy down, you splashed the other bottle, laughing and wetting everyone that was close to you, Lewis, Checo, Jace, who had gone up representing the team.

When the celebration ended, you stayed behind a little more, watching the crowd from the podium, and they started chanting. It took you a few seconds to realize they were chanting your name.

You raised your trophy at them, and they cheered even louder. Then you pointed it to the sky again.

“Look, ma, I made it” you whispered to yourself, feeling the tears streaming down your face.

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bloodiedrogue · 1 year ago

Text

FEAR OF LOSING IT (4)

SUMMARY: When it's discovered that Astarion's being hunted, you take matters into your own bloody hands.

PAIRING: Astarion & Female Reader

WORD COUNT: 4,235

WARNINGS: Teasing, spoilers for BG3, canon typical violence, minor character death, pining if you squint a little, feelings realized!!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Day 4 is here! Prompt is "you're not scared, are you? Of Me?" So hopefully I did it justice?

Also sidenote, to anyone wanting to be on the taglist. I had a few issues tagging some people but I still put your name. Not sure why it won't let me tag so check your settings and next fic I'll try again.

CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST / NEXT CHAPTER

The sun beams down as you walk along the water’s edge, carefully stepping over damp rocks and foliage with narrowed eyes. As per usual, you and Astarion are trailing behind the rest of the pack —you because of the hangover you’ve been nursing all morning; him because he lives to irritate you.

“I don’t understand how you feel so ill. You barely had more than a few drops of that ale.”

Slightly in front of you, Astarion steps around a patch of suspicious-looking rocks, turning to grab your arm and guide you out of the way as you scrunch up your face in disgust.

The air is way too hot to be touched. Beneath the fabric of your tunic, you can feel your skin grow increasingly sticky, prompting you to brush off Astarion's hand but reluctantly still follow with a groan.

“I drank more at camp,” you confess, feeling a pain radiate inside your head. One that’s almost reminiscent of the tadpole, pulsing in angry motions that make you close your eyes and quietly wince.

Picking up on your discomfort, Astarion slows his pace, opting to walk alongside you rather than ahead. “And why in gods name did you decide to do that?”

Immediately, you shrug your shoulders, offering him nothing despite knowing the reason. Last night at the party you embarrassingly drank to forget all those thoughts. The ones filled with visions of hands and mouths gliding across your wanting skin.

Even now you hate to admit it, but after parting ways, you were still a bit riled up. A mixture of anger and annoyance coating your soul once you finally got situated inside your tent, knowing deep down there wasn’t much you could do. Gale had already returned to camp before you so you definitely couldn’t do the deed yourself without the possibility of further embarrassment, and you sure as hell weren’t going to wander back to Astarion with your hands between your thighs, begging for release.

In the end, the only other option was to get pissed drunk, so you did. And now, you were greatly suffering the consequences in the form of a whole day’s worth of walking under the beating sun alongside an overly stubborn and nosy vampire.

“All by your lonesome?”

Without even having to think, he looks at you with the kind of false pity that makes you want to drown him. To lace your fingers in his perfect locks so that you can better shove his face into the water, never to hear that damned voice again.

Gods, is it ever tempting...

Rolling your eyes, you swear under your breath and shove him aside instead, feeling the edge of your elbow make contact with his chest before you attempt to step forward, feeling his hand pull you back.

Overall, the motion is quick and painless —a twirling rush that sends you hurtling into his frame, boxing you in in the form of a hand that rests against your lower back— but regardless it still surprises you.

“Was it because you wanted it?”

His hand lingers against your leathers as he awaits your answer. Barely putting enough weight to truly hold you back, it quickly becomes obvious that your current stance against him is of your own volition. A choice you’ve made during a moment of weak desire as you deeply inhale the dewy air.

“Wanted what?”

“You know.”

At this point, you’re positive he knows that you secretly like it when he touches you. When he physically guides you through difficult terrain or lets your fingers brush when trading trinkets after a day of looting. You’ve never made it known that you dislike it —never protested, even during times of tense discussion. All you’ve ever done is make faces of annoyance, hoping he’ll take the hint.

He never does. Not even now, as you press both of your palms against his chest, applying a bit of pressure as you stare him down, does he think to move. To let his hand fall to his side to let you continue your stride. Instead, all it does is remain perfectly still, resting against the small of your back, waiting.

It makes you swallow hard as you take a step back, feeling the resistance of your hip as it brushes through his fingers.

“You’re really not going to admit it?” he asks then, watching you pause. Feeling you stop mid-step to cock your head and flash him a grin so utterly snobbish, that his facade of confidence finally slips.

“What? That I want to fuck you?”

Your voice is patronizing. A pointed tongue laced with poison gunning for his throat. You want him to taste his own medicine. To feel what it’s like to be on the receiving end of taunting words that fluster, so you don’t say much more. All you do is stare, waiting for him to break.

“No, that you want me to fuck you,” he corrects almost immediately, his courage returning ten-fold. Doubling down on the way your mouth slightly opens in annoyance, because even in your boldest of moments he still manages to throw you off.

It makes you want to drown yourself instead, realizing just how persuasive he can be. Without trying, it’s as if he’s perfected every potential conversation before it’s happened. In his mind, he can look at a face —hear the beginnings of their voice and already have the correct response at the ready.

“Do you spend all your time thinking of ways to seduce anyone that gives you the time of day?” As you speak, you fully step away, turning on your heel to let out a shaky breath you pray he doesn’t catch.

“Only the attractive ones, I suppose.” He laughs and follows behind, his footsteps echoing through the water as you attempt to catch up with the rest of the group.

“Attractive ones, huh?” You peer over your shoulder with a raised brow. “Is that a genuine compliment you’re offering or another one of your usual deceptions meant to butter me up?”

He doesn’t tell you. Instead, he just offers you a shrug and purses his lips, leaving you guessing —an expression that only tightens the tension that’s seemingly begun to grow.

Well, at least for you.

Since the night you let him feed, even you have to admit that you’ve found it increasingly hard to resist his charms, remembering how good it felt to just let go for a couple of moments. How, when it happened, there was an inkling of freedom that you felt was found. A new sense of clarity that arrived just as your lifeblood left.

As much as you’d deny it if asked, you think about it often. At night, when you’re lying in your tent trying to sleep, you frequently attempt to replicate that feeling, calling upon your tadpole to replay the memory of the cold, numbness deep inside your throat.

As you step out of the water onto a patch of grass, you wish you could feel it now instead of the hangover. Instead of the sweltering heat and Astarion's piercing gaze penetrating the back of your head, waiting for another response he’ll just counter.

It’d certainly make the daily trek you’re experiencing all the more bearable. Being able to forget about the aching in your skull for just a moment would solve at least half of your problems, maybe even two-thirds of them depending on how Astarion proceeds to act. On whether or not he walks in silence or—

“Do you smell that?”

You release a sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, feeling your impatience begin to build. “Smell what?”

He loudly sniffs beside you, his nose scrunching upwards dramatically before he turns his head, narrowing his eyes. “You’re telling me you don’t smell that?”

“Smell w—“

Before you even have time to react, it hits you. The foul stench of metallic burning through your mouth and nose, forcing you to cover your face with your hands.

“It’s awful, isn’t it?”

You nod, tightening the hold around your face as you continue forward, realizing you’ve somehow lost the rest of the group —something Astarion notices too, causing both of you to slightly panic.

“Oh, for fuck sakes, really? They couldn’t at least wait for us to finish our…”

As he trails off, waving his hand in the air to replace whatever words die in his throat, you catch a glimpse of an unfamiliar man up ahead, watching as the both of you continue.

“They’re probably over the hill,” you point out then, trying your best not to let the sudden nerves inside your chest get the better of you once you see the nameless man raise his hand, beckoning you closer.

“Who the bloody —do you know him?”

You look at Astarion as if he’s just said the stupidest thing known to man, still moving forward. “Ah yes, the mysterious man standing out in the open! Yes, I know him well, why?”

“Alright, no need to be cruel.”

“Says you.”

Once again, his response fades to nothing. The argument slipping down his throat once the voice of the man calls out to you.

“Maybe he saw where the others went?”

Astarion scoffs. “Or maybe he’s the one who’s been setting up all those traps.”

“Traps?”

You don’t remember seeing any traps. But then again, you’re not very perceptive when your head feels like it’s on the verge of splitting in half.

“Yes, traps. The one’s I’ve been guiding you through like a fucking cattle dog!”

Letting your frustrations get the better of you shove him aside before you can think, turning to let both hands lay waste to his shoulder causing him to stumble sideways. As he does, he looks at you with hesitant curiosity; knitting his brows together while his mouth falls open into a half smile.

An awkward laugh sounds through the pounding in your head as the footsteps draw near, prompting you to look ahead, noticing the man a few steps away, looking between the two of you.

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?”

His words sound sincere —cautious in a way that has you peeling your gaze away from Astarion's wild expression to shake your head.

“No, sorry, just a, uh—“

“A lover’s quarrel,” Astarion finishes. “You know how it is.”

Angrily you inhale, paying his obviously entertained face no mind as you continue to survey the man now in front of you, noticing the plainness of his clothes and the unkempt hair that circles his face like a halo.

It’s apparent then that he’s been on the road for some time now. He’s not necessarily dirty looking but quickly you realize he’s the cause of the smell, making you swallow hard in an attempt to suppress the sickness that follows.

“Ah yes, of course. My apologies.” He laughs —as does Astarion— while you just frown in between, trying not to blow another fuse.

“I’m sorry but can we help you?” You crane your neck and smile sweetly, letting the more deceptive side of your mind take over, prompting Astarion to quickly clue in and do the same.

“I was just speaking to your friends up there. They told me you were falling behind.”

“And that’s your business because?” Raising your brow, you watch him falter for a moment.

“I’ve set some traps along the path. Nothing too hidden if you’ve got a keen eye like all of you, but still, I informed them of their whereabouts.”

Informed them of their whereabouts? Please. This man’s trapping skills are abysmal at best.

You have to bite your lip once you hear Astarion's insult in the back of your mind, knowing he’s right. It’s one thing for him to notice the traps but for the rest of your party to as well? There’s no way they would’ve noticed if not for the lack of effort put into their placings.

“Well, uh, thank you. That’s decent of you.” You nod but make no effort to move. Instead, you just stand there motionless, staring him down, waiting for him to elaborate further so that you can better gauge this man’s intentions.

You’re certain they’re anything but innocent. Given the smell wafting off his leathers and the way he keeps glancing over at Astarion with a slight twinkle in his eye makes your suspicion only grow. Your defensive walls rising to their highest point as you look at the vampire, allowing your tadpole to reach out.

He’s up to something.

“Yes, well, I’m not hunting the likes of you so best avoid the unnecessary conflict and clean up.” The man’s gaze slowly turns to you, a hardened grin creeping through his features, causing you to twitch.

There’s definitely something off. Something far more sinister underneath that polite expression and overly eager attempt at making small talk but you’re still not sure what it is. Or what it means when he offers you his help.

“Fair point, but what are you hunting, may I ask?”

“Something terrifying?” Astarion questions. “Perhaps a dragon or a kobold?”

What if it’s you?

Your partner’s eyes shoot to yours. Immediately, they fill with something you’ve never seen before. Bordering on fear, you’re quick to notice their unexpected vigilance. The building of a thought that drives his mind to something new.

Suddenly in an instant, he’s overly alert, the movements of his shifting pupils making you wonder if maybe this is the man Astarion's been looking out for. That somewhere in his past he took advantage of the wrong person and they’ve been enacting their revenge ever since. Honestly, it’d make sense. Vampires aren’t the most well-liked of creatures, and although, aside from Astarion you’ve never experienced the company of one, it’s become increasingly obvious he’s a special case. A vampire that excels in all deceptive measures and tactics, preying heavily on whatever victims he can get his hands on. So, it wouldn’t be far off to think this man was hired to kill him.

Making use of the tadpole again, you reach out silently, feeling no reluctance as the face of a man appears at the back of your mind, towering over you. Black as the night itself, he shrouds you in an ocean of thick shadows that conceal his face but not his presence, and because of this, there’s a panic that rises through your chest. Clutching your lungs with clawed fingertips that threaten to burst them like balloons.

You force yourself not to look at Astarion as the memory continues —as an angry voice echoes through your ears telling you you’re his. That you belong to him and no one else and that if you so much as step a hair out of line he’ll hunt you down.

Before you can even react the memory fades, leaving you there to piece together the man in the vision and the hunter standing before you, knowing they’re connected by a common enemy. Strung together by a tether of motivation that ties around Astarion's throat like a tightened noose.

He’s not here to kill him but to take him away. To snatch him right under your noses by playing the unsuspecting hero.

“As exciting as those options are, I'm actually on the lookout for a vampire spawn. His name is Astarion but I fear he’s already long gone.”

His confirmation is all you need to let your guard rise further up. Allowing your fingers to stretch against your sides, readying their need to reach for your weapon, you merely nod your head and let Astarion take the reins.

“Oh, what a pity. It’s always like that for creatures to run away at the illest of moments, isn’t it?” He leans in with that same devilish grin, tossing aside all previous fears in favour of this newfound information.

“Isn’t it,” the man parrots, shaking his head with a fake laugh. “Rather unfortunate considering I’m only trying to bring him home.”

“Home?”

The word pours from your lips with such desperation that even the hunter questions your response. Raising his brow, he only slightly leans forward with interest, clicking his tongue as he glances between the two of you. “You wouldn’t happen to know this Astarion character, would you?”

“I don’t think I’ve heard of him.”

“Nope.”

You sound like two opposing sides of a coin. Astarion, ever the charmer responds with subtly, the structure of his body remaining calm and collected while you remain a ball of nerves. A tightly wound set of muscle and bone too quick on the draw for your response to be deemed believable.

“He’s dangerous, you know. A wicked thing. Or, so I’ve heard.” He’s speaking solely to you but regardless Astarion continues to control the conversation, pulling it all back with a loud hum.

“Wicked you say? Care to elaborate.”

There’s confusion for a moment. Then acceptance, prompting the man in front of you to explain. “While he’s nothing more than a vampiric spawn, he’s still got quite the head on his shoulders. Cunning, but nothing compared to a real vampire.”

You know Astarion’s fuming beneath his facade then. Eagerly awaiting to rip this man apart, limb by bloody limb once the opportunity arises. You can feel his emotions through the tadpole —the way they pulse in angry waves, threatening to spill out at a moment’s notice.

Almost instantly, it forces you to push him back. Closing your eyes for a second or two, you shift thoughts of comfort to his head, letting him know that you’re there. That if the moment comes where this hunter makes his move you’ll be ready to defend him.

Thankfully, it calms him down —steadies the rousing anger that you know is still there, lingering beneath the surface. Allowing him to take a few breaths, resetting himself for the inevitable.

“I mean, I’m no expert but considering they’re still technically vampires I feel it’s safe to assume you’re still at the risk of… oh, I don’t know, injury? A good maiming perhaps if the spawn were to be particularly famished?”

“You’re not wrong, I suppose. Spawns are particularly powerful compared to the average but considering the sun’s high and dry I’d say we have the advantage.”

“Do we now?”

The two of you share a glance. Astarion's tadpole squirms in time with your own and in an instant a plot is formed.

“Actually, now that you mention it I have heard tell of this Astarion fellow,” you muse, watching the man’s expression. How it changes from innocent hero to hungry hunter at the drop of a hat.

Next to you, Astarion nods his head, echoing your words.

“You don’t say?”

“We were actually a part of a camp not far from here last night. A big group. So, it makes sense why the name didn’t come to me sooner.” You push out a fake laugh, acting as if the whole thing’s some silly little mistake while you wave a hand through the air. “Now that you’ve reminded me though, he was definitely there, lurking about like a little leech.”

You wiggle your fingers for dramatics, earning a scoff inside your mind that has you forcing back a genuine laugh, sensing Astarion’s annoyance.

“You wouldn’t happen to know what way he was going?”

This time Astarion pipes up. “I remember him saying something but, honestly, my uh, memory is a big foggy.”

As he raises a hand to his face, gripping the bridge of his nose, you motion the man to move close. “Perhaps a bit of coin could remind my uh, lover here of the information you seek.”

Lover, huh?

Paying no mind to his internal dialogue, you rub your fingers together to signify your partner’s needs, watching intently as the man leans back and looks at you with slight annoyance before taking a moment, realizing he’s got nothing to lose.

Considering the payout will more than likely cover such costs, he quickly turns his attention to the bag resting on his hip, opening it up with slow hands that you jump at the chance to catch off guard.

Pulling a dagger off your hip, you make no sound as you drive the blade into the side of his throat. All you do is press a hand to his mouth, covering the groans that swiftly coat your fingers in blood, following him toward the ground.

“I’d say be wary the next time you come snooping in other people’s business but I’m afraid it’s too late for that, isn’t it?” you tell him, feeling him struggle. Seeing him reach out to grab the knife that sits tightly in your hand, wedging itself further into the apex of his neck. Suddenly, it makes you realize what you’ve done.

You’ve just killed a man in cold blood. And for the life of another killer, no less. Without so much as a thought, you drove this man straight to his grave, knowing that if you didn’t the probability of him gaining the upper hand would only grow. That if he survived and caught on to your ploy, he could’ve taken Astarion away.

You realize then that you’re anything but ready for something like that to happen. Sure, he may be the cause of a lot of your frustrations throughout the day but somehow he manages to balance them out with his charm. With his innate ability to provide you with a space that’s begun to border the lines of comfort the more time you spend with him.

It’d hurt too much to let him go. But it’d hurt even more knowing he’d be going back to his old life. To the one you still know so little about but feel its pain. The never-ending threat of a figure controlling his every movement. He may not have spared the details but you know the last thing he wants is to find his way back there, so you did what you had to do to prevent that. To keep him safe just as you so subtly promised.

Breathing heavily, you let go of the knife and look toward him, asking him if he’s okay.

“Okay? Darling, you can’t be serious!”

“What?”

He’s kneeling on the ground beside you before anything else, reaching to grab your shoulders, pulling you roughly into his chest. “You just asked that man to pay us money and then jabbed a knife through his throat. If anyone should be asking who’s okay here, it’s me.”

“I’m fine. Are y—“

“Shhh.”

Up until now, it hadn’t occurred to you how badly you’d been shaking. Against his chest, you can feel the tremors of adrenaline take over as your head slowly lowers to his shoulder, releasing a loud and shaky breath.

You know exactly what came over you at that moment. The fear of losing the only person that’s ever made you feel happy despite your flaws became too real and it caused you to lose all sense of preservation.

Almost instantly, you became nothing more than a weapon —a striking blade shoved through opposing flesh. You felt the threat of the moment and your mind flew through all the other possibilities, landing on the only ending where Astarion's safety was ensured.

Realizing this, you slowly move to wrap your arms around his waist, feeling him hesitate halfway through.

It’s obvious then you’ve crossed some sort of boundary, so you go to pull away, apologizing under your breath as you feel his grip only tighten.

“Are you okay?”

You’re not sure why he’s asking. Or why he refuses to let you go. “Astarion, I said I’m fine.”

“Yes but are you okay?”

One of his hands moves to cup your cheek, pulling your focus back to him. Forcing you to see the uncharacteristic care inside his eyes as he thumbs your skin. It causes your tadpole to wriggle almost uncontrollably, discovering the connection that’s there. The unspoken bond he shares with you now that you’ve proved your loyalty. It’s enough to earn your honesty. To admit that you’re not okay while he continues to hold you.

You’re not sure why you care so much for him. Maybe it’s the attention he offers in a world where loneliness is often rampant or the way he makes you laugh even during the most unsightly moments. Either way, all you know is that in this moment you’re afraid he’ll hate you for it. For letting the curtain of snide remarks and harsh jokes slip to reveal a body of emotions too big for you to carry by yourself.

“I couldn’t let him take you.”

Your voice is barely above a whisper. So inaudible against the sounds of the world around you that for a second you think you’ve spoke to his mind.

“I see that. You struck him before I could even ask him to sweeten the deal.”

“I’m sorry.”

Astarion snorts and moves his hand, letting it glide across your cheek until it finds purchase beneath your chin. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. You saw a dangerous man and took charge. Honestly, it was frightening.”

“You’re not scared, are you?”

“Of?”

“Of me?”

The laugh he lets go of is so full that this time you feel him shake, his frame rattling against yours as he taps your chin. “Not in the slightest, my dear. Impressed, maybe. A little bit turned on too if I’m being frank but no. Not scared.”

TAGLIST: @poohxlove @gaiasmight @sassy-stupid @novarex @v-gremlin @sapphiccloud @lipstickghoulie @kuroitsukyo @jjfchk @idiotsatan @kay24sstuff @bluestuesday @mopeyghost @bloopthebat @art-by-greenie @heneralmoon @80spuppetfantasy @sukunababe @dreamingaboutyousworld @ranfithegood @haniscrying @ghostys1mp @liadamerondjarin @the-lake-is-calling @marina-and-the-memes @rookieoftheyear @zraloci-cpr @kaetmo @snickerdoodle-daydream @wowowwild @d1anna @raswiet @conniesbbymama @sweetrollgal @venus-wrts @demonicthorns @kihten @deadglamsheep

(if you'd like to be added to the taglist fill out this form)

#fear of losing it #astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion fan fic #astarion series #astarion x female reader #astarion x reader #astarion x you #haunted hoedown #summer writes

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vxiphoid · 1 year ago

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SERENE SHENANIGANS

❨ summary ❩ twst › waking them up to tell them stories that don’t make sense

tags ✧ fluff, crack, savanaclaw boys, defo not proofread its like 7 am, cursing but nothing out of the ordinary, ooc(?), ruggie calls you a little shit like once (affectionate), jack is whipped for you

amanuensis’ message ⊹ I LITERALLY LOVE DOING THIS??? my friends hate me for it. but anyways hiii im back after like my month hiatus, how are thy sleeplings?😋 mb guys writers block has been really kicking my ass, i was spitting blanks on paper… i’m gonna hopefully post another pastry emporium soon for scarabia so stay tuned for that‼️

⌜ 300+ e/chara ⌟

♫ sunset boulevard - hohyun

twst masterlist

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

— “leona… pspsps….”

— he hums gruffly when his name was called the first time, only opening his eye thinking you called him a second time when it was really just noise that you would make to get the attention of a house cat. he instantly pins his ears back. how dare you. “hmm?”

— “so i took our snail for a walk and i had accidentally left my feet here to wash the dishes because the grass was blue.”

— huh? you could see him trying to process everything you just said as you explained, his lips parting and eyebrows furrowing. it took everything in you not to laugh. he does one of those blinks, the really delayed ones, one eye opens before the other…

— he’s half asleep too so the confusion is just adding up altogether. if chicken scratch wasn’t a writing term, this is literally it in words. its like the books back at home he picks up to read (derogatory) its, what, 4 am? dont do this to him😭

— you’ve never seen him so expressive💀 this definitely makes his eye and ear twitch at the same time. what type of fucked up fever dream is this?? its usually a blessing seeing you as the first thing he wakes up to, not when you wake him up with some bull strung up in a sentence with your beady eyes staring at him while he sleeps. he loves you, yes, but what does he even say to this…

— “what…”

— your forehead met with his chest as you struggled not to laugh at the uncharacteristic break in leona’s voice. how many cups of coffee did you drink? he asks you to repeat yourself even though it kinda a mind mush decision so you did and by the end of it, he looks absolutely restless.

— “that’s… yes. that’s great, herbivore. can we go to bed now?”

— you note that leona is surprisingly patient when half asleep

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

JACK HOWL

— deep sleeper. tug his ear. though he practically springs up before your hand makes contact, giving himself whiplash.

— “jack?”

— almost instantly relaxes when he realizes its you, tail wagging subtly☹️ “hi, baby. s’something wrong?”

— “hiii, do you remember a year ahead ago when i had to go to the dentist to get my spine fixed and the cats were barking at the flying dogs because the sky was in the water?”

— bro feels like he just had a stroke💀 he’s blinking rapidly, rubbing nose bridge as you explain. he really wants to understand, he does, but wtf did you just say??? it was the innocent “hi” before you unapologetically bashed his head in with the entire dictionary. its so ridiculous he couldn’t help but laugh.

— “jack, this is serious.” even as you told him that, your voice was not steady at all which made his shoulders shake violently in silent laughter.

— “im listening, i swear. tell me one more time?” yk his ass is not listening. he pulls you into his lap while his thumbs idly rubbed your sides, responding to your stories with “uh-huh” and “yeah?” with a lovesick smile on his face.

— eventually holds your face and starts pressing heart squeezing, fluffy kisses all over your face which truly made you more tired then you were. you honestly start forgetting what and where the story was going.

— jack only pauses his kissing attack to respond when you take a small break but even then he doesn’t pull away fully, he’s just speaking against your skin

— “—and the duck had my arm while i was taking it on a walk because gran tammy was in a flying shopping cart.”

— “oh wow. and then?”

— he’s listening but he’s not, mostly because he’s like two seconds away from dreamland and his brain isn’t registering half the shit you’re saying. he wants to see how many stories you can jumble up.

— “yeah, i think it’s bedtime for us…”

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

RUGGIE BUCCHI

— omfg he wakes up like a mom. like yk how you would barely touch them and they would gasp like they were just given cpr?? he wakes up like that.

— and you’re just standing there awkwardly 👁️👁️

— takes a quick look around before looking at you. “what happened? is it time to wake up leona already?” you shake your head and ruggie flops back, an arm draped over his eyes. “you scared me… come, lay down with me?” he held his free arm out for you and you did take your place cozied up against his side. to your surprise, you did actually scare the living shit out of him from how fast his heart was racing.

— “ruggie, yk i just found out you’re related to turtles, right? and i had to take uncle bobby to the vet to get a dna test because the fish drowned in air.”

— slow roblox turn towards you but instead its his head as he cranes it down to stare at you. you can practically hear the gears in his head turning and you literally could not look at him or you’d blow your cover.🧍🏾

— “i’m sorry,, what the fuck??”

— he’s genuinely confused, asking you questions about your story while his brain tries to put together the pieces. each question he asks, the more its harder to speak in full sentences other than wheezes

— “what are you laughing at, ya little shit? explain this to me!”

— “i’m trying!”

— and you are😭 its like when you have to explain the family tree really slow bc you cant say, “my father’s girlfriend’s son” without him like ???? and you’re trying to explain it to him slowly, eventually forgetting what you said in the first place…

— “…and the fish drowned in air.”

— “yes.”

— “sweetheart, you still haven’t explained how i’m related to turtles—”

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idlerin · 2 years ago

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NONSENSE

an oikawa tooru social media au

pairing. celebrity!oikawa tooru x f!reader

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

tags. social media au, celebrity smau, college au, exes to lovers, second chance romance, idiots in love, crack, humor (hopefully), fluff, and perhaps a little angst? ehe (groveling !!)

warnings. time stamps dont really matter unless i say so, cursing, some drinking alcohol n stuff and sometimes suggestive but nothing graphic

status. completed (01/15/23 - 02/11/24)

— playlist.

teasers

teaser 1 — teaser 1.5 — teaser 2

profiles

[name]’s pe(s)ts | in need of medical attention

episodes !

(⚘) — has narrative parts

ACT I

01. rid me of my despair

02. murder is ethically wrong

03. he’s literally everywhere

04. i’m NOT petty (⚘)

05. i think i’ve seen this film before

06. he’s back !

07. baby girl of all baby girls

08. the famous friend

09. forget me not

10. why are you running!? (⚘)

ACT II

11. blast from the past

12. i despise you (⚘)

13. villains are hot (⚘)

14. adulting and other important stuff (⚘)

15. what we look forward to

16. a nightmare dressed like a daydream

17. antithetical girlie

18. this is the tactic (⚘)

19. honey it hurts (⚘)

20. exes and ohs

21. takoyaki cravings

22. kill me with kindness

23. tell me, tell me (⚘)

24. do you think about me?

25. wish u were sober (⚘)

ACT III

26. you look like shit (⚘)

27. a taste of fame

28. reminds me of

29. helpless, breathless (⚘)

30. oh how you woo me

31. all over again

32. disconnected

33. this love is so illogical

34. don’t care if you ruin me (⚘)

35. hate clingy men

36. need you like oxygen (⚘)

37. media craze

38. hard to love (⚘)

39. coming home

40. only your love

EPILOGUE

41. new friends

42. love languages

43. utterly nonsensical

end

✦

bonus content

post break-up [name]

don’t you know that i’m intoxicated !

you said you liked the way i spoke

unsent letter #1

one of the boys

kuroo being a menace for 12 panels straight

kodzuken mayhem

taglist is CLOSED !

to be REMOVED from the taglist you can just send an ask or comment :)

notes. hey so i’m starting my first smau series?!!? *squeals and kicks feet in excitement* i hope i get to finish it lmao i plan to not make it that long prolly around only like 30 chaps! hope u’ll enjoy reading it as much as i’ll enjoy making it! also thank you everyone for 200 followers! i rlly appreciate it <3

icons used as pfps are not mine but the content of this smau is. please do not repost this on any other platform. © idlerin 2023

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thatsdemko · 1 year ago

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hope you feel better - o.piastri

pairing: Oscar piastri x fem!norris!reader

warnings: suggested smut but not explicitly

a/n: I have a longer fic of Norris!reader x Oscar coming soon hopefully!

tossing his helmet into the nearest chair, he exhales a sigh. he knows he shouldn’t seek comfort in you, you’re busy floating on a high from your brothers podium. he’s confident you don’t have time for him, but when you see that frown tugging on his face, you stop in your tracks.

“osc,” the name escapes your lips with ease. it used to feel so unnatural, that tells you how many times you’ve said it in the past three months.

his big brown eyes scan your body. the McLaren tee is tight against your chest, he aches for the comfort of your breast as a pillow while he sulks. but he knows you better, you’ll lift his spirits rather than make him feel like he wants.

“it just wasn’t in the cards. the race had a bad start to begin with, which isn’t your fault, but you still performed despite that. don’t be so down.” you lean into the gap between his knees and press a kiss to his sweaty forehead, “I have to go, okay? I’ll see you—“

“stay.” the whimper that escapes his lips are pathetic. you’d cringe if it was any other man, but with his big soft eyes and tiny smile, you can’t help but cave in.

“my whole family will know I’m missing, osc.”

“let them look,” he speaks quietly, pulling you closer towards his lap, “you’re safe with me.”

—

his arms are a like a blanket: soft and secure. his chest is warm like a fire, making you cozy up closer to him. he’d cracked open the hotel room window the second things heated up, your bra on the floor and panties somewhere around them, he’d needed air to fill his lungs again. the cold air of England was able to do that.

he keeps you close, your heartbeats in synch, you could stay here forever. but there’s a world out there begging to know you’re safe. you can feel their anger through the device tossed somewhere in the small hotel room. but you refuse to move.

turns out making Oscar feel better was just as easy as sitting on his lap on the ride home from the paddock. it didn’t take much else for a smile to form and many orgasms later, he’s in a better mood.

“I’ll walk you back.” his whisper pulls you back in. pressing your palms against his chest you sit up right,and roll off of him, “they deserve to know I stole you.”

“what if I want to just lay here with you? and forget reality forever?”

his eyebrows shot up to his forehead making wrinkled lines form, “forever is a big word, Norris. you sure about that?” he asks.

you mold your body back against his and allow the missing warmth heat you up once again, “I wouldn’t ignore all one hundred texts from my family for nothing, Oscar.”

tags: @oconso @xcicix @imsorare @weasleyswizardwheezes-blog @monzabee @lpab @frreyaa @motorsp0rt @lovelytsunoda @smoothopz @jaehyunluvcult @iloveyou3000morgan @lunnnix @leclerc13 @goldenalbon

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thefallennightmare · 5 months ago

Text

Unveiled Hearts-Matt Dierkes One Shot

*all pictures for cover found on pinterest. gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Matt Dierkes x OFC

Warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, smut

Summary: Matt and Faye still can’t confess their feelings for each other. Crossing the line from friends to lovers could change the dynamics of the tour of the Concrete Jungle. An accidental kiss reveals the truth hidden behind small smiles and laughter. They both know that the smart thing would be to forget it ever happened. But some kisses are so spectacular that they change everything.

Authors Notes: When I tell you guys, this has been MONTHS in the making. I'm so glad I can finally say it's finished! Buckle up, it's a long one! Hopefully, all of your questions will be answered.

Tags: @loeytuan98 @thatchickwiththecamera @dsireland86 @iknownothingpeople @bngurngheart @malice-ov-mercy @concreteemo @cookiesupplier @heyyoplayer @myownthoughts12 @vinyardmaurao @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @lma1986 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @itsafullmoon @shilohrosechicken @klutzy-kay24 @shadowseve @blueskylinesx @exitwoundsx @thisbicc @pathion @cookiesupplier @sammyjoeee @whenthesummerdies @flowery-mess @xxkittenkissesxx @its-inourblood @madomens @collidewiththesavannah @xserena-13 @cncohshit

If I missed anyone on the tag list, I apologize!

FAYE

I sat in my car, drumming my fingers against my steering wheel and trying to keep my breathing even. Every few seconds, my eyes would dart to the clock on the dashboard, painley waiting for it to read 6:00 so I could get this meeting over with.

“Five minutes,” I muttered to myself followed by a pep talk.

This is a job interview, one I’ve been to countless times before. I knew what I was doing and also was confident enough in my abilities that they’d love my work. Lana even reassured me.

“They’re a great batch of guys to work with, Faye! It’s like we’re a big family, we take care of each other,” her words echoed in my mind.

I watched as these guys worked in a frenzied state packing the two vans with various equipment but somehow made it seem like they flowed together naturally. The effort conversations and laughter that carried between them showed how tight knit they were so I couldn’t help but feel like I was a stranger that was about to disrupt their lives.

You are. They don’t know you.

Grumbling at the voice in my mind, I reached for my portfolio and camera, slinging it over my neck; I never went anywhere without it.

The laughter from the large group carried over to the other end of the parking lot where I was slowly walking up. I had to meet two of these guys at this large warehouse while they spent the afternoon packing up their things. My hands shook as I clutched my photo portfolio to my chest and as I approached them, unable to hide behind the invisible vortex I hope shielded me, I came to a stop a few feet away.

My hazel eyes tracked each person's movement as they went from the large garage opening of the warehouse over to the two trucks and large tour bus parked on the opposite side of the lot. My mouth ran dry as I tried to find my voice to call over to them, announce my arrival, but it was difficult due to the racing of my heart.

Suddenly a soft buzz in my back pocket was my saving grace and I pulled it out, smiling at the name on the screen.

Tay: Okay, we need a girls night out tonight. I broke up with loser face so I need to forget about it. Find someone new. Preferably one that has a head full of curls. You know those are my weaknesses.

I giggled while quickly typing out my response.

Me: Well, you know what they say. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

Tay: Fuck yes. I’ll pick you up at eight!

“Are you Faye?”

My eyes snapped up from my phone to the tall figure in front of me, the sunlight catching the intricate and somewhat colorful tattoos on both of his arms. A lone finger scratched at his cheek, showcasing a small heart tattoo. I knew who he was, Lana already giving me the full run down on everyone in the band.

While he was gorgeous, I also knew he wasn’t available. But not like it mattered, I wasn’t here for a relationship. I was here to work.

“Uh,” my hands shook again as I pocketed my phone, clutching the portfolio to my chest. “Yeah. Sorry.”

The man raised a brow with a soft smile. “There’s no need to apologize. Were you standing there long?”

I shook my head. “No, no. I just walked up a minute ago but didn’t want to bother you guys. You seem a little busy.”

“You’re fine,” he stuck out his hand. “I’m Noah.”

I desperately wished I could have wiped the sweat off of my palm as I grasped his; it engulfing mine.

“Faye. But I guess you already know that,” I chuckled lightly.

“Yeah, Lana mentioned you’d be stopping by to talk with us,” Noah turned to look over his shoulder, running a hand through his dark waves. “Uh, Matt!”

I watched silently as another man stepped down the ramp of one of the trucks, head snapped over towards Noah and I. He removed the hat from his head to shake out the long strands of his hair and my breath caught in my throat. The tattoos that covered his left arm were hard to read from this distance but the bright color of the one on his leg immediately stood out.

Dragon Ball Z.

I’d never been a fan of it but my younger brother watched it all the time growing up.

Suddenly realizing what Noah called him, I remembered Lana’s warning from earlier.

“Everyone is chill. Well, except Matt. As long as you stay on his good side you should be fine.”

My palms began to sweat even more now and I rubbed one of them on the side of my thigh, hoping to dry it before needing to shake Matt’s hand. As he walked closer to where Noah and I were standing, a soft breeze blew through the strands of his golden hair and I marveled at the confidence that radiated off of him. Those dark eyes tracked over me; from my scuffed converse up over my long legs and I knew he was assessing my tattoos like I did his. When his lips twitched with a sly smile, I knew Matt had taken in the sight of my teal hair.

“Hi,” I said once he came to a stop next to Noah.

The height difference between them was immediately recognizable.

“This is Faye; Lana’s cousin,” Noah said towards Matt.

He nodded. “The fill in.”

The way Matt said those words didn’t quite sit well with me but not wanting to ruin this potential job, I gave a forced smile instead.

“She mentioned you guys wanted to see my portfolio,” I said while handing it over to Noah, who took it with a smile.

“How long have you been in this business?” Noah asked, slowly flipping through my portfolio.

I adjusted the strap of my camera on my shoulder. “I started taking pictures when I was ten. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I made it my profession. I’ve photographed a handful of local bands.”

Matt raised a brow. “So Bad Omens would be the first big name band you’ve photographed?”

There was still that underlying tone in his voice, one I couldn’t quite decipher.

“As a job, yes. I’ve taken a few pictures when I went to shows. But I can assure you, I know what I’m doing,” I said with slightly narrowed eyes.

Noah froze on one photograph, a loving smile pulling at his lips. His eyes lingered on it for a long moment before showing it to Matt, who let out a small chuckle.

“What are the odds,” he muttered under his breath.

“So you’re used to working in fast paced environments?” Noah asked while handing back my portfolio.

I nodded, clutching it to my chest yet again. “Yeah. It’s nothing new for me.”

“This will be your first time touring though, right?”

“Yeah,” I nodded again at Noah. “Might take some getting used to but I can assure you, I’ll be fine.”

“Cool,” he smiled. “I know it’s kind of last minute but we leave tomorrow.”

“I’ll be ready,” I gave a curt nod.

Underneath the rim of his hat, Matt’s eyes narrowed but he remained silent. Assessing me with the darkness of them but never once parting his lips to say what was on his mind. Which irritated me, the feeling burning low in my gut because I absolutely hated when people didn’t say what was on their mind. If they couldn’t tell me how they truly felt about a situation, how could I trust them later on?

“Is that fine with you, Matthew?” I asked with a raised brow.

His jaw ticked when I uttered his full name and briefly, I saw a tiny smile play at his lips.

“Be here at six a.m,” was all he said before turning on his heels and walking back towards the large trucks.

I pursed my lips, doing my best to keep my comment to myself; something Noah noticed.

“Don’t let Matt get under your skin. He’s not too fond of change. But he’ll get over it. Lana couldn’t stop raving about you. Bryan is actually excited to work with you,” Noah said.

Their other photographer.

“I’m actually a huge fan of Bryan. I have a few of his prints hung up in my apartment,” I said while looking up at Noah.

He chuckled while running a hand through his hair. “Did you want to stay? We’re almost done packing up the trucks and have plans for a little BBQ at my girlfriend's place. She’d love it if you joined.”

I thought about it for a long moment. It would probably be a good thing to do in a way to get to know everyone before being stuck on the road with them for the next few weeks. But then I remembered my plans with Tay and knew if I backed out on her much needed girls night, she’d be upset.

“Thank you for the invite but I already have plans with my friend tonight. I’m sorry,” I said.

Noah waved me off. “No need to apologize, Faye. We’re about to be stuck together for the next couple of weeks so take all the alone time you need.”

Just then, someone ran up to Noah with a breathless smile and I couldn’t stop staring at the mounds of curls on top of his head.

“Hey, man. Sorry I’m late.”

Noah gave the man a somber smile. “How’d it go?”

“She stood me up.”

My eyes darted between the two and when Noah took in my confused state, he motioned to the man with curls.

“Faye, meet Jesse. Jesse, meet the new photographer, Faye.”

Jesse gave me a bright smile, the one that eased away all of your worries, and he adjusted the round glasses perched on his nose before extending a hand to me.

“Oh, Lana’s cousin! She mentioned you’d be filling in for her while she was gone,” Jesse said.

“Yep,” I shook his hand. “Seems like she talked about me to everyone.”

Suddenly another man came up on the side of Jesse, slapping his back. “How’d the date go?”

This man I instantly recognized.

Bryan Kirks.

Jesse snorted. “She stood me up. I waited at the restaurant for thirty minutes. Tried calling and texting her; got left on read.”

“No fucking way,” Bryan shook his head. “I never had a good feeling about her. Who spells their name with two X’s like that?”

“That’s bullshit,” Noah grumbled under his breath.

Although I wasn’t sure what happened, it was clear this relationship that Jesse was talking about ended in a way that made Bryan and Noah upset for their friend. Seeing the slight confusion on my face, Jesse gave me a weak smile.

“My girlfriend stood me up tonight.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” I frowned while shifting on my feet.

He shrugged while stuffing his hands into his pockets. “It’s alright. I’ll get over it.”

“Well you know what they say. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” Bryan smirked.

“I just told my best friend the same thing,” I laughed while tucking a piece of teal hair behind my ears.

The ease that fell over me as I stood with the three men, talking as if I’d known them for years, made the fear of what the next few weeks held almost non-existent.

“Is that the D5000?” Bryan asked while pointing to the Nikon hanging off my shoulder.

I beamed while holding it up. “Yeah. My dad gifted it to me when I decided to make this a career. I have a few other models but I take this one everywhere with me for work.”

Bryan motioned towards Noah and Jesse, who all stood together, which prompted me to snap a few pictures of them; all three of them having goofy smiles then a few serious ones.

I clicked through the pictures while all three of them glanced over my shoulder and felt Jesse snicker towards Noah.

“Your girl is going to love that pouty look.”

“Shut up,” Noah grumbled but you could hear the smile in his voice.

“HEY! Assholes! Are we still taking a break or actually here to work?!”

All of our eyes snapped up to Matt, who was pushing a large crate towards one of the trucks. Even from this distance, I could see the slits of his eyes staring directly at me. Something about him irritated me all while causing my stomach to flip as those narrowed eyes grazed up my long legs.

“This will be a fun few weeks,” Bryan said.

Jesse bid us all a goodbye with a nod. “Have fun with that. I’ve got plans at a certain cafe.”

As he rambled off which cafe he was going to visit tonight, I couldn’t help but smile.

“The one downtown? Next to the therapist's office?”

Jesse smiled. “Yeah. It’s Jolly’s favorite, for obvious reasons. We all go there at least once a week. We should all go once you guys get back.”

“Sure,” I smiled.

Noah gave me one final smile. “Believe it or not, we’re all stoked you’re joining us.”

“Lana has said all good things about you guys. I’m excited. And thank you for giving me this opportunity, given my lack of experience.”

Something twinkled in his almond eyes as he took a few steps towards the rest of the group of people.

“It was one of the pictures I saw in your portfolio that sold me.”

With a small wave, I turned and was ready to head back to my car when a loud voice halted me momentarily.

“6 A.M! DON’T BE LATE!”

Matt.

Throwing a hand over my shoulder, I made my way over towards my car and quickly typed up a message to Tay.

Me: How does coffee and a nice book in a cafe sound?

She replied while I was buckling my seat belt.

Tay: You know I’m always down for that.

MATT

Carefully, I watched as Faye smiled at Noah before she retreated back to her car. My eyes never left her form even when Noah stepped in front of me, blocking my view. It wasn’t until he cleared his throat that I looked over to him.

“What?”

He shook his head with a playful smile. “I’ve seen that look before. I’ve actually had that look in my own eyes a few times. It’s a familiar feeling.”

Rolling my eyes, I went back to loading up the trucks. It was already well past six and with plans for the BBQ in less than an hour, we needed to haul ass to finish packing everything. Something I made known to Noah, who continued watching me with a smile.

“Keep staring, lover boy,” I joked while pushing the crate up the ramp into one of the trucks.

Noah stood at the bottom of his, hands buried deep in the pockets of his Bad Omens joggers.

“I invited her tonight.”

My head snapped over at him. “Why did you do that?”

“Because we’re going to be with each other for the next three weeks. I thought it would be a good ice breaker before having her jump right into everything tomorrow morning.”

There was no reason for me to have a guard up when it came to Faye but we’d been burned so many times before with new people joining the Bad Omens crew. Anytime we thought about having someone join our team, I was always the one that voiced my concerns.

Since Faye was cousins with Lana, I couldn’t do that. Lana gave us her word that we could trust Faye. Although, I knew deep down that wasn’t the sole reason why I’d been closed off.

I couldn’t allow myself to get close to anyone else, afraid of getting hurt again. I’d seen all of my friends around me find love while I stood on the outside, wondering if I’d ever find that. I told myself that work was the only thing I needed right now. But the moment I took in the sight of Faye and felt my heart stutter in my chest, I knew that it would be hard for me to abide by my own rules.

I’d become transfixed the moment my eyes landed on her, standing in the middle of the parking lot looking almost like a little sheep that found their way into the den of wolves. How bright her eyes were as they locked with mine. The way her lips moved as she talked to Noah. How they twitched when she spoke my name.

Matthew.

My body shivered when I remembered how sweet it sounded falling from her pink lips.

“Is she coming?” I asked while loading up the last of the crates.

Noah still wore that annoying smirk and crossed his arms over his chest. “No, she already had plans with a friend.”

All I did was hum as I shut the door of the truck, doing my best to ignore the way my heart sunk in my stomach.

“Well, let’s hope she’ll be here on time tomorrow because I’m not waiting for her even if she’s two minutes late,” I adjusted my hat.

Noah squeezed my shoulder. “Have some faith, Matthew.”

He quickly scurried away before I could do anything in retaliation for using my full name. A familiar car pulled up which made Noah sprint towards it and wrap his arms around the figure that stepped out from behind the steering wheel. My heart ached while watching the love they shared, like it always did. I wasn’t jealous of either of them. I was jealous of what they had.

“Matt!” Her voice called over from where Noah had her in his arms. “Are you riding with us?”

Putting on my best fake smile, I gave her a thumbs up. “Just promise no dessert nicknames the entire drive, please?”

FAYE

Stifling a yawn behind my hand, I let my shoes scuff along the pavement as I walked up the familiar drive, the rising sun casting me in an everglow of orange and golden hues. The birds sang their morning songs and the grass was still wet with the morning dew as I came to a stop in the somewhat empty parking lot. I’d expected everyone to be here, ready to load up, but then again I was ten minutes early. Not wanting to leave my car here for three weeks, I had Tay drop me off. My plan for running into a certain someone failed when we got too caught up watching a crime documentary on her television.

“You’re early.”

Whirling around at the voice, I saw Matt leaning against the door of the tour bus drowning in a hoodie and joggers. He gave off a comfortable vibe that nearly matched my own. Knowing we had a long drive to the first city, I opted to wear biker shorts and an oversized shirt; one that caught Matt’s eyes immediately but never saying anything about it.

Adjusting my backpack, I gripped the handle of my suitcase a little tighter.

“I’m an early bird,” I shrugged. “Figured it was better to be early rather than late.”

Matt hummed, the noise vibrating in his chest, and I felt his burning gaze all over me. We were standing close to each other and I could feel his body heat radiate off of him, encasing me. The sunrise caught the darkness of his eyes causing them to sparkle and I drank in the sight of the faint stubble that peppered his chin. The sharpness of his cheekbones and the way they could cut my finger if I dragged it across it had me halting doing so. The way my skin ignited as his gaze lingered on my face made my heart skip a beat. It was as if he was taking his own mental pictures but never once making a sound or moving. Simply leaning against the bus while I squirmed on my feet. Teal strands of hair fell into my eyes and I gently brushed them away. I could have sworn I had the softest intake of breath from Matt but it was so quiet, I wasn’t sure.

He nodded towards my suitcase. “Can I?”

With a nod, I let him take it to put it in the undercarriage part of the bus, the calloused skin of his fingers brushing along my knuckles and instantaneously, I felt something spark inside of me. If Matt felt it, he made no indication and set my suitcase alongside all of the others. Then with a swift nod towards the door, he motioned for me to follow him up the stairs.

“Everyone is awake so no need to be quiet,” Matt said.

When we stepped into the main area of the bus, I felt myself freeze when a few different sets of eyes landed on me. Bryan gave me a wave and a smile while I looked at the four other men that were scattered throughout. I recognized them from not only knowing who Bad Omens were but also Lana’s rundown texts.

“You must be Faye,” Jolly wiped a hand on a towel as he was stocking the fridge.

“Nice to meet you,” I shook his hand.

Then after meeting Nicholas, I noticed Nick sitting in the far corner booth of the small kitchen area, a somber smile on his face.

“You’ll have to excuse him,” Nicholas sighed. “Relationship trouble.”

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath. “What’s in the California water? That’s the third relationship trouble I’ve heard of in the last twenty four hours.”

When Nicholas raised a brow, I explained not only were Nick and Jesse going through something but so was my friend, Tay.

“Jolly, you better watch out. You could be next,” Steven teased after we exchanged greetings.

Jolly was silent, muttering something to himself in Sweden before retreating to the back of the bus. From what Lana told me, Jolly was in a relationship but it had been hard for him and his girlfriend. Almost everyone in this friend group had a significant other. Besides Matt and Bryan.

At the thought of Matt, I quickly peeked through the strands of hair that fell into my face yet again to see that he had sat on one of the couches and kept his attention on his phone.

“Or Noah’s relationship could be next,” Bryan chuckled. “Him and-.”

“We are perfectly fine, thank you. No need to worry,” Noah’s voice echoed throughout the bus as he stepped into the main area.

They all gave him a quick wave in greeting and when he saw me standing there, clutching my things, he raised a brow.

“Did anyone show you to your bunk?”

I shook my head. “No. I mean, I could find it myself but I didn’t want to make it seem like I’m imposing where I shouldn’t be.”

My hands shook with nerves and I could practically feel my heart pounding in my throat and ears. It felt like everyone was staring at me, even though I knew it wasn't the case. Noah glanced over to Matt, who still couldn’t be bothered to look away from his phone, and then let out a long sigh.

“Come on. If my girlfriend found out that I didn’t give you the proper welcoming tour, she’d kick my ass,” Noah smiled before leading me towards the back area of the bus that housed the bunks.

“Not that you would complain,” Bryan chuckled from behind us.

“Some of us snore; me included. So I hope you brought some headphones,” Noah joked.

All I could do was give a small smile and set my backpack down on the empty bunk he pointed too. It was the last one available on the top left, closer to the back lounge.

It was still early morning and the lack of sleep from last night was beginning to creep deep in my bones. Noah let out a small laugh when he saw me try to hide a yawn behind my hand.

“You should get some sleep. We’ve got a long drive to the next city,” he suggested.

I waved him off. “I’ll be alright. I feel like maybe I should sit and chat with you guys. Get to know you.”

“After you,” Noah extended a tattooed arm back to the front of the bus.

There was only one spot left to sit; right next to Matt. Noah opted to help Jolly set up a little breakfast while I slowly sat down on the couch, purposely leaving a few feet between Matt and I.

“So, Faye. Lana is your cousin?” Nicholas wondered while sitting across from me.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, trying to find a comfortable position that would help ease my nerves. “Yeah. Our mom’s are sisters.”

“Photography runs in the family, huh?” Bryan now asked as he was messing around with his camera.

“Yeah,” I smiled. “My dad did it as a hobby while I was growing up but I was always interested. When I was old enough and wanted to start myself, he gave me one of his older ones. I don’t use that one as much, only for really special occasions.”

“Lana said you two are pretty close,” Jolly said.

I nodded before tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “I grew up with four brothers; three older and one younger. So I spent as much time as I could at Lana’s house.”

We all continued to chat for a while, long after the bus finally began moving and the sun rose to its full heightened glory. It surprised me how easy it was to talk to all of them. Well, almost all of them.

Matt didn’t say one word the entire time, simply kept to himself while typing away on his phone. Never once did I bother to glance over at him with the looming curiosity as to what he was doing on his phone for the last two hours. While everyone made me feel welcome and comfortable, I couldn’t ignore the weird vibe I was getting from Matt. It was as if I was a pest infiltrating a home that was designed to keep me away. But I somehow managed to sneak in through the smallest of cracks.

Yet I also couldn't ignore the way my heart raced as I sat next to him. Or the way my blood pulsated inside of my veins when he shifted in his spot and our knees bumped against each other. I definitely couldn’t ignore the way Matt’s fingers twitched when I rested my hand between us on the couch. Ever so softly, I felt the calloused pad of this thumb brush along my wrist; so quick I nearly missed it.

Bryan and I were having a deep conversation on different ways we could work together on this tour that I didn’t realize Matt had retreated to the back of the bus. It wasn’t until I dismissed myself from the group with the muttering of wanting to take a nap that I found Matt standing in the narrow hallway between the bunks.

I knew I would need to squeeze past him to reach my bunk but it was then I realized he was also climbing down from his bunk; across from mine.

“Scuse me,” I mumbled while brushing past him, his chest nearly touching mine.

Silence must have been Matt’s strong suit because yet again, he said nothing. Standing toe to toe with him, I saw those dark eyes stare down at me underneath his hat. His pupils dilated causing his eyes to darken even more when his gaze rested on my lips as I spoke.

“I need to get up in my bunk,” I breathed, afraid to raise my voice above a whisper.

Agitation began to weigh heavy within me when Matt still said nothing, simply continued to stare at me. I knew I should keep it in check, not snap at him since he was technically my boss, but if this is how he was going to act the entire three weeks, there would be no possible way I’d be able to keep myself calm.

“Do you have a problem, Matthew?” I asked while crossing my arms over my chest.

His lips twitched. “It’s Matt.”

“That seems like something I’d call you if we were friends. You’ve been giving me the silent treatment since I met you yesterday. So it’s Matthew,” I shrugged.

Due to the tight space between us, I could feel his warm breath as it brushed over my lips when he cocked his head to the side. Every single fiber of my being felt like it had been set ablaze with that look alone and even though my hands were tucked away, I could still feel them shaking. My heart was beating hard against the cage in my chest and I knew Matt was able to hear it.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips and I smelled the briefest scent of mint. The feeling of skin on skin had my eyes casting down to my leg where Matt’s fingers gently grazed over exposed skin of my thigh. I shivered underneath the touch, letting him know how much of an effect he had on me. It shouldn’t be like this, I didn’t know more than a few things Lana told me about him. But somehow he managed to sink his way inside of my mind.

Last night while I was trying to sleep, I’d been plagued with images of Matt. It didn’t help that our meeting earlier in the evening was short so once I was home and settled, I looked him up on social media. Not much gave him away on Twitter besides the occasional snarky remark that had me shaking my head and videos of racoons that had me smiling. On Instagram, I spent a few minutes scrolling through and mentally liking his pictures.

Until I actually liked one of his pictures.

From six months ago.

It was of him holding a kiwi guava flavored Celisus while standing in front of a cardboard cut out of one. I hadn’t noticed I accidentally liked it until I was scrolling back up a few minutes later and nearly fell out of my bed when I saw the red heart underneath the picture. I knew un liking the picture would do no good. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind Matt had seen the notification.

Maybe he didn’t since he made no mention of it. Or maybe he had seen it. It would explain the sly smirk playing on his lips at the moment.

“Consider yourself lucky. I don’t let anyone call me Matthew,” he hummed before slipping past me, back to the front of the bus.

I stood there for a moment, eyes unblinking, as the scent of him lingered in the air. It filled my senses and brought an oddly calm feeling over me. But that’s not what gave me pause. It was his words.

With a groan, I ran a hand down my face and climbed up into my bunk with the hope that a nap would cool down my heated skin. It wasn’t until I was comfortable in the bunk, wrapped underneath the blanket with my phone, I saw the notification from Instagram that came in over an hour ago; while I was sitting next to him and talking with Bryan.

Mattxdierkes followed you.

Mattxdierkes liked your photo.

“Shit,” I muttered while clicking on the notification.

It was a picture of me standing in front of the ocean during a gloomy morning, wearing a white cable knit sweater. You could barely see my face due to my teal hair covering it. The caption was a simple wave emoji. It was also posted last year meaning Matt had also done his own stalking. Although, a little voice in the back of my mind told me that this was not an accidental like. Matt meant it, which meant he knew about my own stalking.

Grumbling a slew of curses to myself, I buried my phone underneath the pillow and let the thought of sleep take me away.

MATT

Running a hand through my long and unruly hair, I did my best to comb out the knots before sliding a hat over it. I twisted and turned my neck to each side, breathing out a soft groan when the necessary bones cracked and popped. Years of touring with my old band and Bad Omens did a number on my back and neck but I tried not to complain too much. I love what I do and the people I do it with. But that didn’t mean I had to love the bunks I slept in.

The first three days of the tour flew by and with today’s off day, every single one of us was desperate for a relaxing day filled with brunch and touring the city.

With a quick flick of my eyes over to the bunk across from mine, I noticed that Faye’s was empty with the blanket and pillow fixed neatly. My heart began to race at the thought of her teal hair spread out against the silk pillowcase while she slept. Unlike all of us, she kept the curtain of her bunk open because of this irrational fear that she would suffocate.

“I hate feeling like I’m enclosed in a tight space,” she shrugged while Bryan jokingly teased her for it.

Faye almost immediately fit in with all of us, like she’d been working on the crew for years. Night one, her and Bryan found the perfect rhythm together; never once stepping on each other's toes. She understood Bryan was the main photographer so she opted in getting pictures of things he didn’t. Some that involved the sound deck.

More importantly, me.

I had every intention of keeping my guard up around her but the more her bright eyes shined at me and the way her melodic laugh reached my ears, I felt those walls slowly starting to chip away. Faye was there from set up to tear down helping all of us, never once complaining. Even after some long days, she always went to bed with a smile on her face; one that I couldn’t stop thinking about.

When Lana first told us that her cousin would be filling in for her, I immediately did my own research. I found her photography Instagram along with her personal one; it wasn’t until recently that I decided to follow both of them. But from the first moment I saw her most recent picture, Faye took my breath away.

It wasn’t anything extravagant, a simple selfie in front of a large mirror. She was wearing a golden sundress, showcasing off her long legs and the tattoo on her left arm of six fairies, surrounded by different flowers. Her teal hair cascaded down her back in waves, giving her an even more ethereal aura and it made my heart stutter in my chest.

I told myself not to get in over my head with these feelings. It was a simple crush that would lead to nothing. She was only joining us for a few weeks and once we returned back to Los Angeles, we would all part ways. No use in getting my heart broken; again.

But when I received the notification from Instagram about her liking an older picture of mine, I couldn’t stop the smile that came to my face. It was evident I had been on her mind as well. Again, I told myself not to think too much of it because it could have been an honest mistake.

Was it an honest mistake when she brushed her hand against yours? Or when she stood a little too close to you in the sound deck last night?

Groaning at the voice in my mind, I remembered the scent of Faye as she took a few minute breather during Miracle last night. She’d taken some videos from my spot in the sound deck and decided to hang back for a long moment, watching the set with a look of awe in those bright eyes. I did my best to focus on my work but the scent of her peach shampoo grazed my nose causing me to sigh in content. All of the blood rushed through my body with heat and I felt my cock twitch underneath my sweats when her shoulder brushed against my arm.

“Everything alright?” She asked.

I nodded, hitting the necessary buttons to cue up the next song. “Yep. Totally fine.”

Everything was not fine.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the small smile that played on her lips while she watched the guys perform their set. I couldn’t forget the way she smelled or the way my body ignited with just her simple touch.

What started off as a closed off relationship slowly began to blossom into a growing friendship. I was no longer giving her the cold shoulder, actually conversing with her when we were in the same room. Faye began to warm up to me as well, learning quickly that this “hater mode” people thought I had was only ever directed to people outside of my family.

She still called me Matthew though and I wasn’t about to admit to anyone how much I liked it when it fell from her pink lips; the ones that were always shiny from the gloss.

With a groan, I dragged a hand over my face before pulling out my phone to send a text to Noah.

Me: I’ll be there soon. Woke up late.

Almost immediately he texted back.

Noah Seb: Cool. We just got here. Faye should be waiting for you.

“What?” I muttered as I came into view of the front area of the bus, my eyes immediately connecting with those bright hazel ones that began plaguing my every thought.

Fay was sitting crossed legged on one of the couches with a book in her lap, teal waves falling over her face. I noticed how content she was reading, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. There were a few flowers placed behind her head, intertwined within her hair, and when she finally glanced up from her book due to me walking into view, she gave me a small smile.

“I was wondering when you were going to wake up,” she pulled out one of the flowers from her hair to use it as a bookmark and then she closed the book, setting it on the seat next to her.

The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien.

It felt as if my soul had been intertwined with hers, connecting on such a level that I could feel something inside of me pulsating; bringing me closer to Faye.

This is that bullshit Noah was always jabbering about.

Shaking the thought from my mind, I rubbed a hand over the tattoo on my left arm; the one dedicated to The Lord of The Rings. Anytime I was around her, I always wore long sleeves so she never saw it but now that I wore shorter sleeves thanks to the warmer weather, Faye’s eyes quickly tracked my movement and I heard her suck in a breath.

“Elvish?” She rose to her feet and motioned towards the script writing along my wrist.

“Y-yeah. It’s one of my favorite movies,” I rubbed at the back of my neck, suddenly nervous under her gaze.

Those hazel eyes sparkled as they tracked over every line of ink on my arm and eventually she sighed. “I never thought I’d be jealous of you, Matthew.”

I snorted. “I’ll take that as a win.”

We stood there for a long beat, both just staring at each other, and that magnetic pull I felt earlier was stronger now. It vibrated against my body, almost like it was forcing its way out so it could connect with Faye.

“We should have a marathon one day. Watch all six movies; The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings,” she spoke while still looking at the tattoo on my arm.

My mouth ran dry, trying to figure out what the best way to respond without sounding desperate because that’s all I wanted to do. Maybe we could skip out on brunch and hang back on the bus, just the two of us, and watch them.

Instead, no words came out of my mouth. They were tangled on my tongue and I looked like an idiot standing in front of her with moving lips that said nothing.

I could feel her starting to pull away from me and desperate to feel some kind of contact again, I let my fingers reach for her hand to link our fingers together until she cleared her throat and motioned towards the outside.

“We should probably go. I don’t want to keep them waiting.”

“Sure,” I nodded.

The walk to the restaurant was quiet as she walked a few paces ahead of me, holding the camera close to her chest. She wore a flowy white sundress, highlighting her skin even more and the soles of her sandals smacked against the concrete making it look like she was floating in the air as she skipped. Taking my phone out of my pocket, I typed out a message to Noah.

Me: Dude, she was reading The Hobbit. She’s a fan of LOTR.

Noah Seb: Have you guys left yet? I’m starving.

Rolling my eyes, I replied.

Me: Did you not see what I said? She was reading The Hobbit! What are the odds she’d be reading that book?

Me: Also, yes we're on our way.

I glanced up from my phone in time to catch Faye taking a picture of me.

“Whoever you were texting, must have been serious because of the look on your face,” she informed me in regards to my raised brow.

“Yeah, you could say that,” I muttered under my breath before texting Noah again, who had yet to respond.

Me: She saw my LOTR tattoo and made a comment of maybe watching the movies together. I was an idiot and didn’t know what to say so I said nothing. She probably thinks I don’t want to. But I do.

Me: She probably doesn't feel the same. There’s no use getting my hopes up for something that won’t happen. I need to focus on work.

Noah Seb: Is this how I was? In the beginning?

I snorted.

Me: No, you two were worse.

Pocketing my phone, I followed step in step with Faye as we turned the corner, the restaurant coming into view. Her aura radiated like wings fluttering, making my heart do the same when she glanced up at me.

She gave me a smile of thanks as I opened the door for her, her scent was all consuming when she walked past me. The restaurant was busy for a late Saturday morning which made the front waiting area packed causing me to slide up behind Faye. People were brushing past us to find their way out and nearly stumbling into her, I grasped both hands on her hips to keep myself steady.

“Sorry,” I breathed against the shell of her ear. “Some asshole nearly knocked me over.”

She giggled, the sound making my stomach flutter. I wasn’t sure what shifted between us from our first meeting, maybe it was the fact that I was starting to open up to her more that I was seeing a different side of Faye; a softer side.

“It’s alright, Matthew,” she glanced over her shoulder to me.

She still called me Matthew but I wasn’t about to correct her or tell her how much I loved it.

“Oh, look!” Faye pointed towards the large table in the far corner of the restaurant where everyone had been waiting for us.

The immense cold I felt when she slipped through my grasp made me shudder and reluctantly, I followed behind her; my eyes never leaving her back.

Something Nicholas caught but said nothing as I sat next to him. The only other open spot was next to me which is where Faye was, already talking with Jolly. Eyes grazed over the menu, trying to figure out what to get when soft fingers grazed over my arm, causing me to shiver under her touch.

“What are you going to get?” Faye wondered.

“Not sure. What about you?”

She pursed those plump lips and my eyes locked in on them, desperately wanting to know what they tasted like.

“I can’t decide. The eggs benedict sounds good but the french toast is calling my name,” she sighed dreamily at the pictures of the food.

For the next while as the waitress came to take our orders, I busied myself on my phone to make sure everything was set up for the show tomorrow. Everyones conversations were hushed around me doing my best to focus on my phone and not the person beside me. The way her voice sounded so magical or the way she looked intently at Noah across the table as he divulged about his relationship.

Now that he was finally where he wanted to be with her, Noah wouldn’t stop talking about her any chance he could.

“She was actually the one who suggested I add the woo in The Death of Peace of Mind,” Noah chuckled while taking a long drink of his water.

“I was wondering where that came from,” Faye said.

Finally finished with the work on my phone, I set it down just as our food came and the waitress placed the eggs benedict in front of me. Immediately I took half of it and set it on an extra plate, sliding it over to Faye.

“Matthew,” she smiled. “You don’t need to share your food with me.”

I shrugged while licking off the sauce from my finger. “This way you get what you wanted.”

Her eyes were fixated on my thumb gliding over my bottom lip before she seemed to snap out of it and cut her french toast in half to set it on my plate.

“Wow, sharing food? Matt doesn’t share food with anyone,” Bryan said. “I actually don’t think any of these guys share their food with their girlfriends.”

Noah snorted. “Excuse me? I’ll remind you I always share with-.”

Once again their conversations fell away as I ate quietly, every so often glancing over to Faye who was already watching me. There was the smallest bit of powdered sugar on the corner of her lips, almost teasing me to lick it clean. But before I could give in to the urge, she wiped it away with a finger after she caught me staring.

With the plates cleared from the table and the bill in front of me, I started to grab my wallet the same time Faye began to reach for her purse.

“Don’t worry about it,” Nick waved her off. “Matthew pays.”

My eyes sliced into him. “It’s Matt.”

“Matt pays. Or should I say, the business always pays,” Nick corrected himself.

“Oh,” Faye’s eyes sparked over at me and she bumped her shoulder with mine. “I knew there was a reason why I liked you.”

On the walk back to the bus, I hung back with Noah and Jolly while Faye and Bryan talked about all the different shots and videos they could get tomorrow night. She’d been wanting to try out the video aspect of her camera and Bryan mentioned that he’d be more than happy to show her how.

“You’re staring,” Jolly’s voice broke through my trance on Faye’s side profile.

Pushing his shoulder, I shook my head and focused my attention straight ahead. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Noah ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know why you’re trying to hide how you feel about it. It’s clear there’s some kind of feeling there.”

“The last thing I need right now is a relationship. Especially with someone who works for me. It’s bound to get messy,” I said.

“You don’t know that, Matt,” Jolly adjusted his sunglasses. “You deserve to be happy too.”

I shrugged. “She’s twenty five. I’m almost thirty.”

Noah pulled me to a stop and removed his sunglasses momentarily. “Is that what's stopping you?”

Sighing, I scuffed my shoe against a rock. “It wouldn’t work out. I’m trying to save us both from heartbreak when it comes eventually.”

Not wanting to explain my reasoning any further, I gave them a weak smile before walking the last little distance to the bus. But my footsteps faltered when I noticed a small stand set up right next to where our bus was parked.

Fresh Flowers.

I lingered on one set of flowers, the vivid color reminding me of someone sweet. While the rest of the guys ascended the bus, I held back to wait in line. Five minutes later, I stepped into the main area of the bus where Faye was sitting back in her previous spot from earlier, The Hobbit perched in her lap again. Those hazel eyes glimmered when she glanced up at me and I swore all of the breath was stolen from my lungs.

“What’s this?” She motioned to the single flower in my grasp.

“Uh, Tulips. It reminded me of you,” my voice shook with nerves as I hastily handed the teal flower to her.

She twirled it in her fingers while bringing it to her nose to smell it.

“Thank you, Matthew. This was very sweet of you.”

The smile that played on her lips was one of the most genuine ones I’d ever seen and it made that invisible string inside me vibrate with such a force, I nearly stumbled on my feet.

“You’re welcome,” I gave her a small smile before making my way to the bunk area of the bus.

Jolly had been leaning against the kitchen counter with a sly smile on his lips causing me to roll my eyes at him and grumble a few curses under my breath. I could continue to lie to myself and say that I didn’t think of Faye like that. But it was all a lie, everyone knew it. In the short amount of time she’d been a part of our crew, she managed to also become a part of me in a way that had me wondering how the hell that happened.

I thought Noah was crazy for spewing all that shit about soulmates but every time I watched Faye, I couldn’t help but think that maybe he was right. Because the feeling that stirred inside of me every time Faye and I were close to each other was unexplainable.

Faye was her own mythological being in the sense that she captivated my interests the moment my eyes caught sight of her. The desperation to find out everything I could about her was heavy on my heart. I tried to tell myself that I would never work between us yet every passing moment in her presence told me otherwise. Her spirit was unlike any other. It held so much light, wonder, and magic.

Her name gave way to who she was as a person.

Faye.

My little fairy.

FAYE

“Faye, where are you?”

Cursing at the voice that crackled through the radio, I adjusted the box of merch on my hip so I could answer Steven.

“I’m grabbing the last box of shirts. Is the back door still propped open?”

“Yep. But heads up, fans are starting to be let in so it’s already crowded at the merch table.”

“Great,” I grumbled under my breath before carrying the box from the truck back into the venue.

It had been a very long day and the show hadn’t even started yet. I woke up late after not being able to sleep due to a rough drive from city to city. There had been some confusion on when we’d be allowed into the venue which caused Matt to go full thot blaster mode but even so, we weren’t allowed in until three this afternoon. The guys had to rush through a soundcheck while Steven had trouble setting up the merch table so I spent the last two hours helping him. We were rushing to get things set up in time before doors opened but it proved to be futile when I saw the crowds rushing inside.

My mind had been held up by one recurring moment that happened earlier today; one that continued to make me blush.

“Does this sound funky to you?” Folio asked while messing with his drum kit.

Kooter shrugged. “I think it sounds fine, man. You might just be overthinking it.”

I was walking past the stage when Folio stopped me. “Faye, do the kick pedals sound off?”

With my urging, he messed around with the kick pedals of his drum set which in turn made me shrug.

“I’m no professional like Kooter but it does sound fine to me.”

A warm presence was felt behind me before a can dripping with condensation was held in front of my face.

I peered a glance over my shoulder towards Matt, who shook the Celsius can in front of my face.

“I figured you’d need this today,” he said.

A large smile broke out on my face as I took the can, immediately popping it open. “Arctic Vibe? I’ve never had this flavor.”

Matt rubbed the back of his neck. “It reminded me of your hair.”

We stood like that, him behind me with me turning half of my body towards him. We were so close, I could feel the warmth radiate off of him in droves and when he reached a hand up towards my hair his actions were halted by Folio calling for him.

“Matt! I need your opinion!”

He left my side with a soft brush of fingers against my hand.

I’d been hurriedly trying to get back inside with my mind full of Matt, I didn’t see the large curb causing me to stumble and drop the box of shirts all over the parking lot. I hissed when the stinging pain burned in my knee and noticed I ripped a large hole in my leggings. Blood oozed from the wound on and I pressed a hand to it trying to stop it.

“Fuck,” I blew out a shaky breath, doing my best to keep the tears from falling.

“Faye?”

Through the tears, I watched as Matt walked out of the venue, worry evident on his face.

“What happened?”

“I’m a fucking klutz and tripped,” I mumbled.

He was quick to kneel in front of me, gently removing my hand to check out the damage to my knee and winced.

“Come on,” his voice was gentle as his arms lifted me from the ground, carrying me bridal style over towards the tour bus on the other end of the lot.

“The shirts!” I peered over his shoulder to the scattered pile of Bad Omens merch.

Matt sighed before motioning to the radio strung over my chest so I pressed down the button.

“Faye took a nasty fall in the parking lot while carrying the box of shirts. Can anyone scoop them up before someone finds them to sell them on Ebay?”

I snickered at the distaste in Matt’s voice.

“I’ve got it,” Noah’s voice came through the radio. “Does anyone need to scoop Faye up?”

“Already handled,” I replied.

A round of teasing ‘ooooo’s’ prompted Matt to shut off the radio as we reached the tour bus. All of the blood that wasn’t rushing to the hole in my knee was found warming my cheeks when I noticed how close our faces were to one another. I observed the lines next to his eyes, showing how exhausted he was. It was only one week into the tour and we still had two more to go. There were freckles lining the bridge of his nose that were really prominent when the sunlight casted over his face. He wore his hat backwards, allowing me to gaze into those dark eyes that seemed to go deeper than the ocean with their depths.

“What?” He questioned, carrying me up the stairs of the bus.

“No-nothing,” I breathed.

For the last week I’d been telling myself not to fall for him. I wasn’t here for a relationship. I was here for work. I didn’t need to get distracted with the first pair of eyes that looked at me.

Even if those eyes seemed to emit light whenever I caught them watching me; which was pretty often.

Given the small space in the back area of the bus, Matt had to maneuver us so he was able to carry me into the bathroom.

“I can walk,” I reminded him as he kicked open the bathroom door.

Matt made a noise that sounded like I offended him while setting me down on the edge of the bathroom counter. The bathroom was the smallest part of the bus and with me sitting on the counter, Matt had to stand between my legs. Due to the slight height difference, I was the one staring down at him for once, only by an inch or two.

My eyes tracked as his throat bobbed when he took a deep breath, spreading his hands on either side of me to rest on the edge of the counter. Our shared body heat wrapped around us in a makeshift cocoon, locking us in.

“Does it hurt?” Matt’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“A bit, yeah,” I admitted with an even quieter voice than his.

His eyes flicked down to my lips before slowly he kneeled in front of my injured knee to get a better look at it.

“Well, I don’t think you need stitches but I should clean it to get a better look at it,” his gaze swept up to me.

When I nodded, he rummaged underneath the sink between my legs to pull out the first aid kit.

“How connected to these leggings are you?”

My brows furrowed at his question. “Huh?”

The round of fabric ripped echoed in the small confines of the bathroom and I gaped at Matt who managed to rip the leggings away from me, knee down. The entire action made something burn inside of me. The way the muscles in his arms flexed as he pulled the last bit of the material away from my leg.

Fuck, why was that so hot?

Maybe because you want him to do that to the rest of your clothes.

“Please don’t kick me,” Matt said.

“What-Fuck!” I bellowed when the sting of hydrogen peroxide seeped into my open wound.

Out of a normal reaction, I jerked my leg only for Matt to wrap his strong arm around it, keeping locked against him.

“I said please,” he exasperated while keeping his eyes on mine.

“It fucking hurt!” I yelled.

His jaw ticked. “I didn’t realize how much of a baby you were.”

I scoffed in disbelief. “Has anyone told you how much of an ass you are sometimes?”

The arm that wasn't holding onto my leg shrugged. “Yes, but not to the ones I care about.”

I sat on his words for a moment, trying to understand if I heard him right.

“Does that mean you care about me?” I finally voiced my curiosity.

Matt tenderly brushed a cotton ball across the cut on my knee before his warm breath fanned across it causing me to shiver.

“I’m squished in this small ass bathroom to take care of your knee, what do you think?”

He gave his infamous Matt Dierkes smirk and I rolled my eyes playfully before watching him clean the wound on my knee then placing a small bandage over it.

“Am I going to live, doctor?” I teased.

Matt hummed deep, the sound vibrating in his chest as his fingers grazed up and down my exposed leg, the sensation sending shockwaves through my veins. He slowly rose to full height again, face now meters from mine, and I sucked in a breath when I felt his warm breath fan over my lips.

“I think,” his hand ghosted over my hip. “I think you might need another check up later. Just to make sure.”

My cheeks burned and I cast my eyes down to my hands that were in my lap, unable to meet his intense gaze.

“Fairy.”

Calloused fingers lifted my chin, forcing me to lock eyes with him, and I scrunched up my nose when I realized what he had called me.

“What did you say?” My voice croaked out.

Matt’s cheeks were warm to the touch as my finger grazed over those defined cheekbones. His eyes fluttered shut with every tender stroke against his smooth skin and he let out a content sigh.

“Fairy,” he repeated and it made my stomach flip three times over.

He traced over the fairy tattoos on my arm, following the intricate designs of the flowers, and I leaned in closer to his touch. It managed to awake something inside of me that I never knew lay dormant. It was as if a flame slowly ignited with each passing touch or stolen glance and now that Matt’s lips were so close to mine, an outburst of something I wasn’t quite ready to understand was moments away from happening.

“No one’s ever called me that before,” I admitted with a shaky breath.

“Do you like it?”

I swallowed thickly while tracing my nail over the slight pout of his bottom lip. “I do.”

The noise that erupted from Matt’s throat was almost sinful and I felt something twinge inside of me.

“Good, because it stays. Fairy.”

Dark eyes weighed heavy on my awaiting lips as hands held onto my thighs, spreading my legs further apart for Matt to step into. I hesitantly reached for his shirt, the material clinging to my fingertips. The magnetic pull that was always felt between us was stronger now. My soul was practically reaching for his, desperate for a connection it had been looking for ever since I was born.

I never was one to believe in soulmates growing up but my father was certain that mine was out there because he had found his in my mother. Yet with the way my soul felt alive inside of me, I couldn’t help but think that maybe my father was right.

“Matthew,” I gasped when his lips ever so gently brushed along mine.

“Fairy, I-.”

“HOLY SHIT!”

Both of us pushed away from each other at the shrill voice that seemed to bounce off the walls of the bathroom and when my eyes landed on an unfamiliar figure standing in the doorway of the bathroom with a shocked look on her face.

“Who the fuck are you?” Matt snapped while standing in front of me in a way to block me.

The young female blinked a few times as her mouth mimicked a fish out of water. “I thought I’d catch Noah.”

I could see the muscles in Matt’s back constricted as the rage began to build inside of him. Some fan had managed to get onto the bus with hopes of catching Noah doing something.

Fucking unbelievable.

“Ash, we’ve got an issue on the tour bus. We could use you over here,” I spoke into my radio after turning it back on.

“Everything alright?” Ash’s voice came through.

Matt ripped the radio from my hand. “We have a strangler on the bus.”

“What the fuck? How did that happen?”

Noah’s voice was filled with his own anger and agitation because he felt as if all of our personal space was tainted by some fan that couldn’t respect our boundaries.

A look of guilt crossed Matt’s features which gave me pause on why he felt that way. We weren't doing anything wrong. It wasn’t our fault a fan snuck up on the bus.

Soon, thunderous steps echoed in the bus and I quickly hopped off the counter and shield myself behind Matt even more. The fan’s head whipped wildly from us to now Ash who arrived with another security guard and Noah in tow.

“I just wanted a picture with Noah!” She bellowed while throwing her hands up. “I didn’t expect to see these two kissing!”

All the blood drained from my face when I realized that she must have been standing there for longer than we thought.

“We weren’t kissing, I was bandaging up her knee,” Matt said while clenching his fists at his side.

My eyes snapped up from the dirty floor of the bathroom and quietly scoffed at his words. Technically we didn’t kiss but for him to act like it almost didn’t happen made my stomach drop.

While Ash and the other guard escorted the girl off of the bus and most likely off the grounds in general, Noah’s eyes narrowed at us.

“How long was she in here for?” He asked with his hands on his hips.

Matt ran a hand over his face. “Man, I don’t know. I was in here helping Faye when that chick popped up out of nowhere.”

“Faye?” Noah’s voice softened when he took one glance at the way my lips turned down in a low scowl. “Everything alright?”

“Fine,” I blew out a shaky breath and brushed past Matt out of the bathroom.

“Fairy.”

Stopping momentarily in the tight space of the hallway, I glanced back at Matt and gave him my best forced smile “I’m good. I’m going to change my pants and then I’ll meet you guys inside.”

NOAH

I followed Matt closely as we stepped off the bus to give Faye some privacy and when we were out of earshot, I pulled him to a stop.

“You kissed her?” I asked.

He sighed while taking off his hat to shake out his hair. “No, well almost. I probably would have if that fan hadn’t snuck up on the bus. Which, I don’t even know how they did. If I wasn’t so distracted with Faye maybe-.”

I cut him off by grabbing his shoulders. “Matt, that wasn’t your fault. Unfortunately, this shit happens.”

“This could have been much worse,” he said, anger still heavy in his voice. “I should go help Ash deal with that. Be a manager and not some dude distracted by some crush.”

“Why do you keep trying to tell yourself that this is only some crush? It’s clear both of you have feelings for each other. Just admit it to each other.” I said.

Matt hesitated for a long moment, trying to gather his thoughts. “I can’t admit something knowing that in the end, it won’t work out. I’m her boss. That’s all I can be.”

I furrowed my brows. “You don’t know that things won’t work out.”

Before Matt could respond, Faye stepped out of the bus with her camera clutched around her neck and paid no mind to either of us as she scurried inside the venue; his eyes never leaving her.

“Is this because of your own fears that you’re keeping yourself from something that could potentially make you happy?” I wondered.

He snorted before placing his hat back on. “You see a shrink once a week and now you think you’re some great philosopher.”

Playfully pushing him, we began to walk back towards the venue step in step. “She knows a thing or two about relationships. Why do you think mine is flourishing right now?”

Once inside, we took the back hallway towards the greenroom where everyone had been hanging out. Matt’s eyes immediately found Faye who was sitting on the couch setting up her camera for tonight. The way he watched her so intently brought a small smile to my face because it was something I would do. He could tell himself a thousand times over that this relationship wouldn't work because he’s her boss but with that gillmer of light that shined in his eyes whenever he watched Faye, we all knew those words meant nothing.

“Don’t rid yourself of happiness, Matt,” I squeezed my best friend's shoulder. “You deserve it.”

All he did was hum, still keeping his eyes trained on Faye.

FAYE

The crowd was electric tonight, feeding off the energy Bad Omens radiated from the stage. It put a big pep in my step as I found myself bobbing my head along to the music while snapping countless pictures of them. It helped keep my mind off of the almost kiss in the tour bus bathroom but now that I had decided to let Byran work the main stage and saunter over towards the sound deck, all I could think about was Matt.

How close he was to me in the small space.

How warm his body felt against mine and the way he grasped onto me like I would slip through his fingers.

I wanted to know how he tasted, how his lips felt as they moved against mine.

At first, I was upset when he brushed off the almost kiss but the more I thought about it, I realized that maybe it was better he did. We both got lost in the haze that we nearly cost Bad Omens a lot with that fan sneaking up on the bus. So I told myself that I needed to focus on my job which is what I originally was here for.

The second I stepped into the sound desk, Matt’s eyes quickly found mine from underneath the rim of his hat. It was the intermission part of the show so Matt had been typing away on his phone but when he saw me, quickly he pocketed it.

“Hi,” he said over the music and noise from the crowd.

I swallowed thickly. “Hi.”

He shifted in his spot. “How’s your knee?”

“Hurts like a bitch but I’ll live,” I shrugged while holding onto my camera.

Silence for a long beat before Matt motioned to the stage.

“How’s it going up there?”

“Good,” I nodded while taking a step towards him. “Everything sounds great. But I wanted to get a look at the visuals from here if that’s alright?

He extended a hand next to him. “You don’t have to ask, Faye.”

Slinking up next to him, I sucked in a breath when the familiar feeling of Matt encased around me. It pulled me further and further down the abyss that was him and no matter how hard I tried to crawl my way out, I knew it was futile. My heart desperately wanted to be here.

Neither of us said anything, Matt clicking away on his laptop and me quickly checking my emails. I’d been waiting on an important one the last few days and the anxiety of not knowing if I got the job or not was making it hard to focus on other things.

Besides Matt.

I knew this job with Bad Omens was temporary but being on the road with them made me realize that I thrived in this life and I wanted more of it.

“Everything alright?” Matt asked when he saw my shoulders fall.

Shoving my pocket into the back pocket of my jeans, I gave a half shrug. “I applied to be a full time photographer for a band but haven’t heard anything yet.”

“What band?”

“Hollow Souls. I saw them for the first time on tour with nothing,nowhere and knew I wanted to work with them. Y/N’s energy on stage is insane. I got great shots of her I wish she could have seen,” I said with a sigh.

The smile that spread out on Matt’s face made my heart flutter but he said nothing, simply moved around me to click a few things on the sound board when he realized it was the end of the intermission.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Do you want to start the intro for Bad Decisions?” He smirked.

My eyes doubled. “What? I don’t know how.”

Matt pointed to something on his laptop then I felt his warm breath against my ear when he moved closer to me.

“Click it in three,” his fingers trailed down my spine

My own fingers shook as it hovered over the buttons.

“Two,” he now slipped behind me.

His broad chest pressed right up against my back and I could feel his cock against the swell of my ass. I bit my lip when one of his hands slipped underneath my sweater, grazing over my heated skin.

“One,” his hands now rested on both sides of me, gripping the ends of his sound desk to lock me in.

With a gleeful smile, I clicked on Bad Decisions, the intro starting along with the visuals on the screens.

“Good job,” he mused in the crook of my neck. “If photography doesn't work out, you could always be my assistant.”

Ignoring the way my stomach flipped at his praise, I slowly turned in his embrace and smiled up at him while taking his hat, and putting it on. “In your dreams.”

With a fit of giggles, I slipped out from underneath his arms and only for him to wrap an arm around my midsection, pulling me back into his chest.

“I need my hat, fairy,” he breathed against my neck.

Turning my head towards him, I let my words linger over his lips before sneaking away from the sound desk, still wearing his hat.

“You’ll have to catch me, first.”

Y/N(Angel)

Taking a sip from my coffee, I clicked away at my laptop while the hustle and bustle of the cafe behind me fell acted as a white noise while I worked. I’d been busy searching through a list of potential candidates for Hollow Souls new photographer. After Lana did our new promo shots, I still felt guilty for taking her away from her main job with the guys, so Malcolm, Chase, and I decided that we would need our own full time photographer.

“How’s it going?” Astrid asked while setting a plate of chocolate mochis in front of me.

I groaned. “Not that great. I thought they’d be at least one but so far, a whole lot of nothing.”

Giving me a somber smile, she went back to working the register as my phone buzzed on the counter next to me.

Matt: I need to ask you something.

Raising a brow, I put my work on hold for a moment to respond to him.

Me: I am at your service.

Me: Also, isn’t BO on stage right now? Shouldn’t you be working?

Matt: Intermission.

Matt: How did you know Noah was the one you wanted?

“That’s a loaded question,” I muttered to myself before replying.

Me: It wasn't really a moment. More so a feeling. It’s when my heart felt empty when he was gone but when he was around, it felt full. Cliche, I know. But that’s the only way to describe it.

Me: Does this have something to do with a certain blue haired photographer?

Matt: Noah told you? 🙄

I giggled at his choice of emoji.

Me: Mochi tells me everything.

Me: Don’t tell him I said his nickname to you. He still likes to pretend no one knows.

Matt: I’m going to get back at him, I swear. He thinks he’s some sort of philosopher now talking about how I shouldn’t rid myself of happiness because of my own fears.

“That does sound like him,” I smiled while taking a sip of my now cold coffee.

Me: He’s right, you know. You do deserve happiness, Matt. I haven’t seen you two together but from what I hear, it seems like both of you are smitten for each other.

Matt: She was reading The Hobbit, Y/N! Out of all the books she could be reading, why that one?

Matt: And her smile? Fuck, it pierces my heart every time.

Matt: Don’t even get me started on her laugh. The way the skin next to her eyes crinkle when she laughs. I want to be the one that gets to hear that every day.

I smiled at how he was talking about her, knowing the exact feeling he was going through. I’d felt it with Noah many times before.

Me: Tell her that. Don’t let Boss Matt get in the way of the happiness you deserve.

Matt: That’s the thing, I am her boss. I don’t think it’s a good idea if I get involved with her. We still have two weeks left on tour. What if something goes sour and it doesn’t work out? I can’t risk that.

Matt: Fuck, she’s here. I have to

I waited for another text to come through after the unfinished one but after a moment, I realized he must have got caught up with something so switching from his texting thread to Noah’s, I typed out a message I knew he would see later when he was off stage. Yet I paused at the unread text from Noah that I must have missed earlier.

Mochi 🍡: 10 more days and you’re finally going to be sleeping next to me. I miss you so much angel. I’m never going to let you go.

With heat creeping to my cheeks, I broke out in a huge smile knowing that soon I’d be joining them for the rest of their tour.

Me: Matt is sooooo smitten with Faye.

Me: Also, facetime me later when you’re back on the bus. I want to see your mochi face. 🍡🍡

About twenty minutes later, after Malcolm and Chase joined me at Fika, we were about to give up on our search for a photographer when Matt’s new text changed our minds.

Matt: Answer Faye’s email. She sent in her application and resume.

I raised a brow before telling Chase to search up Faye’s name in my inbox.

“It went to spam,” he said while showing me the email that had a pretty lengthy resume attached.

Malcolm read it over my shoulder. “Is this the girl filling in for Lana right now?”

“Yeah. She seems to have Matt pretty smitten,” I said while working out a reply email.

“Matt Dierkes? Smitten?” Chase chuckled while leaning farther back into his chair. “I find that hard to believe.”

After hitting send on the email, I quickly sent a text to Matt.

Me: I hope you know that your input had nothing to do with this.

Matt: She deserves this more than anyone.

FAYE

I sat on the edge of the stage, legs swinging in the air, as I clicked through all of the photos I took tonight. I paused on one that made my heart beat unevenly in my chest.

Matt in the sound deck after I’d taken his hat. His hair was unruly but his eyes were transfixed on his equipment as he worked. There was a sense of peace on the soft features of his face as he did something that he loved.

Ruckus voices carried from the open side door of the venue where everyone had been loading up the trucks but I paid them no mind, still clicking through my pictures.

“I like it when I tickle the cervix,” Jolly chuckled.

My eyes snapped up from underneath the hat and glanced over to the group of guys intime to see Noah eat a tomato whole causing me to grimace.

Matt snickered. “I’d like to nut in her hard.”

I titled my head at the guys as they continued to laugh at their obvious talks about sex. But when those dark eyes landed on me, Matt’s shoulders stiffened.

“Shit,” Nicholas cursed. “Sorry Faye. We sometimes forget that it’s not just a big group of guys working.”

I waved them off, knowing that their sex talk didn’t bother me. Although, Matt’s statement made my face grow a deep crimson.

“I’m more so stuck on the fact that Noah just raw dogged a tomato like that,” I admitted with a shiver.

He shrugged. “I fucking love tomatoes.”

While the rest of them finished taking out the last bit of equipment, Matt came to sit next to me at the end of the stage. Both of our legs swayed together, every so often our feet would knock into each other.

“Have you checked your email recently?” He asked.

“No,” I sighed while setting my camera off to the side. “I’m starting to think that they might have passed on me.”

Matt bumped his shoulder with mine before throwing his hair into a low bun. “Maybe you should check it again.”

“Why? So my heart can break even more?” I semi-joked while pulling out my phone but froze when I read the new email.

Dear Faye,

First off I’d like to apologize for how long it took us to respond. For some reason your application went to our spam folder. Chase, Malcolm, and I would love it for you to officially join our team! If you accept, we’ll send over the necessary documents for you to sign and we can get you started as soon as you return from your contract with Bad Omens.

Talk soon!

Hollow Souls

“Oh shit!” I exclaimed while nearly dropping my phone. “I got the job!”

Before I could register exactly what happened, I found myself jumping onto Matt who fell back against the old wood of the stage. His hands rested on my hips keeping me in place while I gazed down at him, my legs locking him in on both sides. His chest rose and fell with each deep breath as those eyes drank in the sight of me straddling him.

“Fairy,” he lifted his chin up towards me.

Thoughts of our almost kiss in the tour bus bathroom crept into the forefront of my mind and all I wanted was to finally feel those lips on mine. Days of constant flirting and stolen glances led up to this moment yet I hesitated with fear of making the first move. His eyes flicked down to my awaiting lips; a silent question.

“Please,” I whimpered.

Strong hands gripped the back of my head, knocking off his hat that I still wore, and forced me to those lips I’d been craving and when we finally collided it was as if the stars exploded in the sky. Goosebumps rose to my skin and when Matt’s tongue glided over my bottom lip, wanting entrance into my mouth, I accepted with a moan. Our lips molded together perfectly, almost as if we were made for one another. Our souls connected in a tangle of webs, our desire growing stronger and stronger as our tongues fought for dominance. I linked my hands with Matt’s, locking them above his head and I rutted my hips deeper into his, brushing my clit against the hardness of his cock. He groaned into my mouth while trying to free his hands from my grip. I nipped at his bottom lip before devouring them again, reveling in the lingering taste of his drink from earlier.

“Matthew,” I keened against his lips.

Finally he was able to break free from my grasp on his wrists and he slid up a hand underneath my shirt. Fingers grazing at the bottom of my bralette, playing with the lacey material.

A clearing of a throat caused me to scramble off of his lap, fixing my shirt in the process. Matt swiftly sat up while not so discreetly fixing himself and when our eyes locked in on the promoter of the venue, I heard Matt mutter something under his breath before rising to his feet, placing the hat back on his head.

“Am I interrupting something?” Jason, the prompter, asked with a clear look of annoyance on his face.

“No. I apologize for that,” Matt didn’t bother to look in my direction.

Jason made a noise in the back of his throat. “Well, if you’re finished with that. I’m ready to close out the final bill.”

“I'll meet you in your office,” Matt said with a thick voice, hands resting in his pockets.

Jason flicked his eyes over towards me as I sat on the edge of the stage yet again, hiding my burning embarrassment behind my hair. His footsteps echoed in the vast emptiness of the venue and when he was gone, Matt let out a long groan while running a hand over his face.

“Faye,” his voice was stern. “That was completely unprofessional.”

My head snapped over towards him, rage consuming me. “You’re equally to blame, Matthew. You didn’t stop it. All day you’ve been teasing me so don’t act like this was my fault.”

Even though his eyes softened, the tone in his voice didn’t. “I know I’m also to blame. But that can’t happen again. I’m your boss.”

Doing my best to keep the burning tears at bay, I snatched my camera and jumped off the stage. “Whatever you say, boss.”

The rage was still all consuming as I stepped outside, the chilly night air brushing against my heated skin, and when Noah took in sight of my agitated state, he gently stopped me from stomping into the bus.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

I let out a staggered breath, feeling those damn tears prick the corner of my eyes. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

Noah’s brows furrowed from underneath the hood of his Hereditary sweater. “Are you sure? You came barreling out of that door like you were on a mission to chew someone's head off.”

For a moment, I stood silent as I tried to gather my thoughts on everything that happened the last ten minutes. Me checking my email on Matt’s request, to find out I got the job with Hollow Souls, and then our kiss that was abruptly interrupted by the promoter. But something stood out among the rest, causing me to purse my lips.

“How did Hollow Souls know I’m on tour with you? I never made it public knowledge,” I asked Noah.

He blinked, almost taken aback by my words. “What about Hollow Souls?”

I then divulged on how I applied to be their full time photographer and how I ended up getting the job.

“Oh,” Noah scratched the back of his neck. “Y/N’s my girlfriend.”

My jaw went slack at the sudden revelation, all of the pieces slowly clicking into place.

“Did you make her give me the job?” I asked.

“I promise you, Faye, I haven’t talked to her about it. I didn’t even know you were applying to be their photographer,” Noah assured me with a gentle squeeze of my shoulder.

“Who else would have told them,” I muttered to myself.

Suddenly the back door of the venue opened and Matt walked out with furry eyes.

“That stunt nearly lost us the contract here for future gigs,” he sneered.

I blinked at him, taken aback by his sudden change of demeanor. He was even angrier than before.

“That stunt?” I scoffed. “You mean our kiss?”

Noah’s head whipped between us and Jolly, who had been loading up the production truck, froze at my words.

“What we did was completely unprofessional, Faye. I had to talk down the prompter not to black list us from here,” Matt threw a hand back towards the venue.

“Did you tell Hollow Souls to give me the job?” I crossed my arms over my chest.

He blinked as his lips parted to speak, only to be met with silence; the silence that gave me my answer. Every high I felt from not only getting my dream job but the kiss we shared evaporated to the concrete beneath my feet. But I refused to let anyone see how defeated I was so I held my head up high with slits for eyes as I zoned in on Matt.

“I sincerely apologize for my unprofessional actions that involved you. I can assure you that it won’t happen again.”

Not bothering to hear another word from him, I brushed past Matt onto the bus.

MATT

A slew of grumbled curses fell from my lips as I clicked away at my laptop with an aggressive finger. Exhaustion had been weighing heavy on my shoulders causing dark circles under my eyes which made my friends worry. I assured them with a grunt that I was fine but everyone knew that was bullshit. Today, however, no one dared speak to me because they knew I was minutes away from saying something I knew I shouldn’t.

It had been a day of constant fuck ups. First, we were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin, nearly missing our call time at the venue. Then while setting up our equipment, one of the techs nearly dropped Jolly’s guitar to the ground, almost breaking it. I’d never seen Jolly that shade of crimson as he did it best not to snap at the poor tech. More recently, I’d spent the last ten minutes trying to find the mix for Nowhere To Go on my system but it was as if it was wiped clean from my hard drive.

Yet the worst part of this shitty day? Faye hadn’t spoken one word to me in over forty eight hours. Guilt ate away at me for how I acted in regards to the kiss. It was one of the best ones I had and I couldn’t stop thinking about how her body felt on top of mine, those lips nipping and pulling at mine. She tasted sweet like honey and I found myself becoming addicted to Faye, desperate for another hit.

But it was unprofessional where we did it. It should have been in the private confines of a secluded room or our bus. We nearly lost a big contract with the previous promoter and with a lot of sweet talking for next time we played there, I was able to smooth things over.

Which is why I meant what I told Faye. I was her boss and we needed to remain professional. We couldn’t allow our growing desires for each other cloud what was right.

So you’re saying your feelings for her aren't right?

Muttering away the thoughts, I leaned farther back into my chair in the green room with my laptop still perched on my lap desperately trying to find where the fuck that track went. The room was filled with crew members who were taking their breaks from setting up. We should have been sound checking but because of the missing track, we were hours behind schedule. The constant chatter from everyone in the room however sounded like nails on a chalkboard so with a snap of my laptop, I tucked it under my arm and stormed out of the green room. I needed to find somewhere quiet to work.

Stepping out into the bright sun, I tucked my hat farther over my eyes but halted when a strained laugh caught my attention. I set down my laptop on one of the tables in the outdoor catering area just in time to see Faye talking with the guitar players of the opening band that had been supporting Bad Omens.

Tyler.

“So tomorrow is an off day,” Tyler mentioned while taking a small step towards Faye. “Do you have any plans?”

I watched as Faye shifted on her feet, playing with the ends of her teal hair. She had it down this afternoon, it blowing with the tender breeze that brought a chill to my bones even though I was dressed in a hoodie and joggers.

That or the fact that Tyler was standing too close to her.

Those bright eyes I found myself drowning in began to roam around her surroundings, as if she was looking for something. Or someone. When they landed on me, I would have missed the way she took a small intake of breath if I hadn’t already been watching her.

“Yeah, I do,” she said, never taking her eyes off of me. “I still have to work.”

Tyler took a step towards Faye, reaching for the hand that was gripping her hair.

“Cancel them. I’ve got this great thing planned for both of us.”

Suddenly forgetting the issues with the set, I stalked towards them head-on. My eyes narrowed at Tyler, anger festering low in my gut when I noticed he still hadn’t removed his fingers from her wrist.

“I’m not going to cancel my plans. That would be rude of me,” Faye’s soft voice eased away the anger slightly within me.

When she tried to step away from Tyler, his grip around her wrist tightened causing her to squirm in his grasp.

“Just make up an excuse. You’re sick. I’m sure whoever you have plans with would understand.”

Faye’s eyes dropped to the grip around her just as I reached them, hands balled up to fists at my side.

“Tyler, you’re nice-,” she started.

Tyler rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Come on, Faye. Just one night. We can fuck then go our separate ways.”

The shocked and disgusted expression that covered her beautiful features when Tyler pressed a kiss to her cheek was the tipping point. It was a list of things the last few days since we kissed. Faye ignoring me, not being able to find the missing track, not having my daily Celsius drink, and now seeing this asshole pressuring Faye; I was ready to combust.

“Faye,” my voice was tight, along with the grip around the wire of my radio as it hung around me. “Are you alright?”

Tyler’s gaze bounced between the both of us as I stood next to her. “We were talking, Matt.”

I threw my shoulders back, puffing my chest. “Really? Because it sounded like you were forcing her into something she didn’t want.”

Faye finally removed herself from Tyler’s grasp and slipped behind me. “We’re done here.”

Tyler’s eyes bounced between Faye and me, assessing the situation until a smug smile curled his lips.

“Oh so that’s it, you two are fucking?”

My heart damn near jumped in my throat when I heard Faye’s soft intake of breath.

FAYE

“Oh so that’s it, you two are fucking?”

Tyler pointed between Matt and I, causing my breath to get caught in my throat as my head snapped over towards Matt, who continued to stand toe to toe with Tyler. I nearly stumbled when my heart dropped to my stomach while I awaited Matt’s answer.

There had been a crowd gathering and when I took sight of Noah’s face as he stepped down from the bus, I knew that whatever was about to happen wasn’t going to be good.

Shit.

“Faye is a coworker of mine. I saw she was uncomfortable because of you so I stepped in. That’s all,” Matt shrugged.

I swallowed the burn of tears as I cast my head down at the camera in my hands. There were plans tonight to live stream Bad Omens concert and since it was a special occasion, I brought out my special camera for this; my fathers old one.

Tyler’s next words made the air shift around us as I glanced up in time to see Matt’s jaw tick.

“Damn, her pussy is that bad, huh?”

Everything happened all too quickly, almost like a blur of shouted curses and flying fists. Noah and Bryan stepped forward as Matt shoved Tyler causing me to stumble over my feet, dropping my camera to the concrete with me. I landed on my ass, scrapping my palms as I threw my hands down to support my fall.

Matt’s fist landed on Tyler’s jaw right before Jolly yanked him away but that didn’t stop him from yelling at Tyler.

“I didn’t start this but I damn sure finished it, fucker!” He bellowed.

Jolly gave Matt his own shove before running a hand through his hair. “Fucking stop! Look what you did!”

Following Jolly’s finger, Matt gasped when he saw me lying on the ground, holding a broken camera in my bloody and shaking hands. Bryan was kneeling next to me, slowly helping me to my feet as the tears I fought so hard to keep back began flowing down my cheeks. My fathers old camera sat in crumbled pieces within my hands, irreplaceable and unfixable.

“Fairy,” Matt’s voice was soft as he reached for me.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” I seethed while yanking my arm away from him. “Don’t talk to me. Don’t look at me. Don’t even think of me.”

“Faye,” his voice was louder now as he called after me, watching me scurry into the bus to hide from all those pitiful gazes that lingered.

BRYAN

With a frown, I watched as Faye nearly stumbled up into the bus due to the tears clouding her eyes and I swiftly turned on my feet towards Matt, who was being held back from Tyler by Noah and Jolly. Both of the Nicks were trying to deescalate the situation with the promoter of the venue that was threatening to cancel the show tonight due to the unnecessary violence. Everything had become so fucked in a matter of seconds with Tyler’s words and now, the anger Matt felt for the situation was directed back onto him.

“Dude, stop!” I snapped while stepping between Matt and Tyler but keeping my eyes directly on the former. “Did you not realize what you just did?”

Matt’s jaw was rigid with his anger but he eventually looked my way.

“You two caused Faye to fall down to the fucking ground. Her hands are cut up pretty good but that doesn't matter because something that’s irreplaceable broke. All because of you two fucking idiots.”

I wasn’t the one to curse this much but the second I saw the camera fall to the ground, immediately I felt the pain that stabbed Faye in the chest.

Matt opened his mouth to protest but I held up a hand to stop him. “You claim you need to be the manager, well fucking act like it. You created a scene, fix it!”

Not bothering to stick around for a rebuttal, I ran over to the bus and bounded up the steps just in time to see Faye dotting her blotchy cheeks with a tissue.

“Faye?” I said quietly. “Do you need anything?”

She choked on a sob while forcing a shaking hand towards the mess of broken camera pieces on the table.

“I need my fathers camera back! Do you know how old it is? What I had to do to make sure it was usable? Everything, all the pictures and memories gone because of-of,” she choked on another sob so I pulled her into my embrace.

“I know,” I hushed her with a soothing circle against her back. “Matt never meant for it to go that far. He feels like shit, although he might not show it right now. But he cares.”

“Right,” she scoffed while pulling from my embrace. “He has a funny way of showing it.”

I gave her a small smile. “Matt is closed off with a lot of people which makes them get the wrong impression of him. But with the people he cares about, he’d protect them. Which is what he was trying to do with Tyler but I think his feelings for you blinded him on what was the correct way to approach that.”

Faye stayed silent for a moment, letting my words digest, before she gave a small nod. I knew it wouldn’t change the issues plaguing them. That was something they needed to work out themselves but even if my words helped a bit, that’s all I could do.

“Come on,” I motioned towards the broken camera. “Let’s see what we can do.”

MATT

My soul was calling out into the void, searching for the connection it once had and desperate to have it again. It felt like everything had been drained from me the last couple of days no matter how hard I tried to fix things. I spent countless hours looking for that specific camera to replace it for Faye. I knew it wouldn’t replace the sentimental value and all the memories it held but maybe it could ease the pain that swam in her heart.

The fight with Tyler happened days ago and after we both apologized to Faye, she seemed to slip into herself. That usual brightness of her soul dimmed as she went about working, never once interacting with any of us. We had four days left of tour and she mentioned to Bryan in passing that she couldn’t wait for the last day because that meant new opportunities.

With Hollow Souls.

Y/N had reached out to assure Faye that they hired her because of her resume not because we all knew each other. That seemed to ease away some of her worries and I could tell she was excited to start working for them.

But my heart and soul weren’t ready to let her go quite yet.

After closing down the sound deck, another successful show in the books, I racked my brain with ideas on how to make things up to Faye when an airy giggle reached my ears.

“We should definitely meet up once the tour ends,” Faye smiled warmly at Greg, the drum tech for Before We Fall. “It will be good for us.”

Greg agreed with a side hug, wrapping his arms around Faye. “I’ll text you once things slow down and we can meet up.”

“Can’t wait!” She beamed that smile I found myself falling deeper and deeper for.

When Greg and Faye went their separate ways, the familiar jealousy rage I felt when I saw her talking with Tyler festered inside of me, spreading through my veins, yet this time I took a different approach than violence. I followed on Faye’s heels as she exited the venue and ascended up the dark bus. Everyone else was still inside helping with the tear down.

“Faye,” I breathed her name, causing her to turn swiftly on her heels.

In the lowlight of the lamp posts outside that casted into the bus, she looked mythological. Her white sundress shimmered and the waves of her teal hair cascaded down her back. The last few days I’ve spent any alone time I could find locked in the bathroom with my hand wrapped around my cock, the image of her on top of me playing like a loop in my brain.

My little fairy.

“Did you need something, Mathew?” She asked with a business-like edge to her voice.

The vision of her in that light with her hands perched on her hips while she cocked one out, full of attitude, made my cock twitch and not bother to think of the repercussions, I pressed her up against the door of the bathroom.

“What are you-?”

I captured her lips in a kiss that was fueled by so much fervor, it made my head spin. It was only our second kiss but just like the first, our souls danced together in perfect harmony when the magnetic pull between us vibrated. Faye’s body went stiff in my embrace but soon with a rush of air, her hands sneaked up underneath my shirt to scratch at the skin of my back undoubtedly leaving half crescent shaped moons as she dug into me.

Her lips were soft, almost silken, and pillowy against my own. I could feel the velvet tickle of her breath beneath my nose when my fingers threaded through those vibrant strands of hair.

An unfamiliar feeling blossomed in my chest, taking over every part of me, as my tongue left kitten kisses along her bottom lip. She began to pull away from me slightly only for me to yank her back in by my teeth. I wanted to plummet in everything that was Faye, letting her consume all of me every day. I could feel the thunderous beats of our hearts together as I pressed her harder against the door, my cock brushing ever so softly against her clit. She hooked her fingers in the waistband of my shorts, doing whatever she could to pull me closer. It was a mess of a kiss, both of us dry humping against each other to grasp that euphoric high we were craving.

Her palm pressed lightly over my cock causing me to yank on her hair, exposing more of her neck to me. My teeth grazed over the sensitive skin behind her ear and she shivered in my grip when my calloused hands lifted up the bottom of her dress, letting the material bunch up against her stomach.

“My fairy,” I proclaimed into the crook of her neck, a single finger slipping underneath underneath the cotton fabric of her panties.

Almost like magic, there was a wide space between us as she pushed me away, those perky breasts rising and falling as she caught her breath. Her lips were swollen, bruised from the force of our kiss, and I groaned at the sight of a faint red mark on her neck. One that I left.

“This can’t happen!” Faye yelled while adjusting the bottom of her dress. “You’ve made it clear that you’re my boss and this-.”

She pointed between us. “Is unprofessional.”

“Fuck that,” I spat. “I don’t care about that anymore.”

Faye wiped away the spit from her lips and sneered her distaste. “Why? Because you saw me talking with Greg and wanted to stake your claim on something that’s not yours?”

The words spewed from my mouth like vomit.

“Well, it seemed clear to me that you like it when anyone shows you attention. Does it give you a sick thrill? Turn you on?”

Faye blinked slowly while her lips parted. “Excuse me?”

“You were going to go out with that guy!” I threw a hand over my shoulder back towards the venue. “I bet you do get some sort of sick thrill from it. You string me along, fucking with my feelings, and now that I turned you down, you’re doing the same thing to other guys? You’re just like the rest of them, I don’t know why I thought you were different.”

Something glistened in her eyes and the breath she let out sounded so broken. But I was enraged with everything that’s happened the last week, all I saw was red.

“That’s not fair. You don’t know anything,” she shook her head.

“I don’t need to, Faye. I’ve seen enough and I’m glad I got out from under you when I did,” I roughly brushed past her, nearly turning back when I heard a broken sob fall from her lips.

Keep going. Don’t falter. That’s what she wants.

Thunderous footsteps echoed behind me, slapping against the pavement as we stepped outside. Faye’s bright eyes filled with her own rage stared up at me as she stepped in front of me.

“You think you’re so fucking smart? Greg is dating a friend of mine from back home. We were talking about meeting up all together,” she poked a finger in my chest.

Yet I couldn’t apologize because she shoved another finger in my chest. “You’re an asshole! You think you’re mature because you’re older than me? You’re a manchild who can’t accept someone who cares for you. You’re one of the most self deprecated people I’ve ever met and this act you’ve got going isn’t working.”

Another poke to my chest and this one caused me to stumble slightly.

“You don’t get to push me away, call me unprofessional for something we both did, but then try to crawl your way back to me after what you did! Your jealousy broke something that I cannot replace. I’ll never forgive you for that.”

I grasped her wrist when she went to poke my chest again and held it flush against me. “I’m sorry.”

Her face flinched, not expecting my apology, yet she continued on with her wrath.

“Sorry doesn’t fix things! We have four days left of this tour, let's just ignore each other like we have been and we can finally forget everything that happened the second we part ways,” Faye ripped her hand from mine and stomped back towards the bus.

I stood there in the middle of the alley behind the venue, trying to gather my bearings from our argument. Like everything with Faye, our shared moments together were a whirlwind and I never knew what to focus on first.

The way her body molded into mine when we kissed.

How pretty her moans sounded when I pressed my cock against her.

How wet she was when I brushed my finger along her folds.

How kissed fucked she looked after breaking us apart.

Or the way her fury vibrated off of her when she poked those pretty nails into my chest.

Once again, I let the negativity of what could possibly be something so good for me ruin it before it had the chance to begin. Faye was all encompassing, she was what my soul had been missing since creation. It scoured the earth for hers and now that it was in my grasp, I refused to let her go.

NOAH

I’d been leaning against the old brick of the venue, getting ready to facetime Y/N when heated voices made me pocket my phone in time to see Faye storm after Matt, poking her finger in his chest. When Matt dragged his feet back to the bus in clear defeat, I knew that I needed to do something to fix whatever was broken between them.

“Mochi!” Y/N’s bright smile greeted me when she answered my facetime call. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, angel,” I slowly paced the alley.

“What’s going on? Why are you outside?” She asked while cuddling her couch pillow closer to her chest.

I could see the luminescence of the television casting a glow of colors against the wall behind her. She’d been watching a movie when I called, the words echoing through my phone.

"People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead."

“Are you watching The Crow again?” I teased with a playful smile.

Y/N rolled her eyes before telling Jesse to pause the movie which made my brows pull together. “Wait, are you at my house?”

“Yeah. Jesse texted me earlier asking if I could come hang out. I guess Maxxine stood him up. Again,” she sighed.

“I never liked her,” I grumbled with agitation.

“She was my friend! How do you think I feel?” But then Y/N shifted on the couch. “Do you care that I’m here without you?”

“Not at all, angel. You know you’re always welcome there even if I’m not. I’m glad you’re there for Jesse.”

Just then a head full of curls appeared on the screen. “She’s making me watch this movie. I had no choice in the matter.”

“It’s a great fucking movie,” she ruffled his curls before playfully pushing him away. “Why the sour face, Mochi?”

Sighing I sat on the bench in front of the venue now, gazing up at the stars. It was nearing midnight and thankfully all the fans from tonight's show had left, leaving me out here alone with my thoughts.

“It’s Matt and Faye. They’re still fighting and all I want to do is help them,” I ran a hand over my tired face.

Something Y/N noticed.

“Noah,” her voice was as soft as her skin. “I know you love your friends and want to help them but sometimes, they need to be the ones to do it.”

I shrugged while playing with the string of my joggers with my free hand. “Maybe I can do something that pushes them in the right direction. Force them in a locked closet at the next venue to talk it out.”

Y/N snorted her laughter. “That never works. But I know what will work.”

With a pulled brow, I listened intently to her plan as she told me what I needed to do.

“You’re sure this will work?” I asked while slowly walking towards the bus, exhaustion digging its claws into me.

“Everyone loves a good “there was only one bed” trope. It’ll work,” she assured me with that smile I missed so much.

“I can’t believe I’ll see you in two days, angel,” I said with a bit more excitement in my voice than before.

Y/N cuddled the pillow closer to her chest. “I’m counting down the hours, mochi.”

FAYE

After leaving Noah in the hotel lobby while he waited for Y/N to arrive, I spun the keycard to my room between my fingers, ready for a full night's sleep in an actual bed. We arrived at the final stop on the tour and with tomorrow night being the last show, we were staying in a hotel for the next couple of nights.

72 hours.

That’s how long it had been since Matt and I spoken to each other. Since our blow up argument a few nights ago, I had chosen to sleep on the couch in the back room of the bus, not wanting to be anywhere near him. Even though my heart was hurting with the space between us. Ultimately I knew I needed this space from him because in two nights, I’d be flying back home alone and forgetting everything that happened.

Well, trying to anyway.

With an yawn, I slipped the keycard into the slot of the door, the light flashing green. I took all of two steps inside before coming to a sudden halt at the sight before me. Two suitcases opened and scattered throughout and a long body stretched out wide on the bed in the room.

The only bed in the room.

Matt removed the pillow from his face to see me standing in the doorway, clutching the handle of my suitcase with white knuckles and he rolled his eyes.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he grumbled while sitting up in bed.

“What are you doing in my room?” I demanded.

Matt scoffed. “Your room? I’ve been here for the last hour. You’re the one in my room.”

Neither of us broke eye contact, not wanting to lose, and I motioned to the keycard on the table next to him.

“Who gave you your card?”

“Noah,” he answered.

Son of a bitch.

“He set this up,” I muttered before turning on my heels, ready to march back down to the lobby to ask for another room when Matt’s voice made me freeze.

“The hotel is booked. There’s no other rooms available.”

I threw my head back with an audible groan before slamming the door shut and forcing my suitcase into the closet of the room. I would have been fine with this rooming situation if there had been a couch but besides the bed, the only other place to sleep was an old, worn out chair in the corner of the room.

It was almost nine in the evening and after the long day of travel, the only thing I wanted to do was shower and go to sleep. Noah mentioned plans about possibly going out for some food but the moment I saw Matt lounging on my bed, I wanted to take the pillow and suffocate him; mingling with others be damned.

I didn’t even make it more than a single step towards the bathroom before my head snapped over to Matt when he spoke again.

“I took all the hot water. Might want to wait a bit.”

It was then that I noticed he was shirtless in bed, wet strands of hair clinging to his chest; clearly fresh out of the shower. His shorts hung low on his hips and I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the light colored happy trail underneath his belly button. This was the first time I’d seen him shirtless and I felt all the heat rush to between my legs.

Focus!

“I’m sure you can bunk with Bryan or Nicholas. Although, they talk a lot and I know how much that irritates you,” Matt winked while propping an arm behind his head.

“I fucking hate you,” I seethed before stomping over to the bed and ripping the part of the covers he wasn’t laying on back so I could slide into bed.

Matt continued to wear that smug smile which made me glare at him. “What the fuck are you so smug about? Happy that I’m miserable and stuck in this room with you?”

“You’re so upset that you didn’t even realize you got into bed still wearing your shoes and jeans.”

Grumbling every name under the sun at him, I scrambled out of bed to kick off my shoes and nearly ripped the skinny jeans away from my legs, leaving it a pile on the floor. I now stood in front of Matt in nothing but an oversized band tee that I hadn’t been wearing a bra under. It’s what I usually go to sleep in anyway. It reached about mid thigh now that my jeans were off.

“Is this better, Matthew?”

Those dark eyes trailed up my long legs, lingering on the swell of my ass before he nodded.

“I’d be fine if you came to bed with nothing,” he shrugged.

I squealed before wrenching a pillow off the bed and smacking him in the head with it.

Not one.

Not two times.

But four times.

Matt finally realized he’d been under attack so his arms reached out to wrap around my hips, dragging me to the bed with him. It was a fight for who would end up on top as I tried to continue with my onslaught of pillow attacks but his strength won in the end. Throwing the pillow across the room, he managed to pin me to the bed with his hips and used one large hand to pin both of mine above my head.

His hair was a mess covering his face as those dark eyes stared daggers into me but I raised my chin up at him in defiance.

“Are you finished with your tantrum?” His chest rumbled.

“Fuck off!” I shot back while wiggling underneath him.

My shirt had ridden up in our fight, resting just below my breasts and my bright yellow thong was on full display for Matt to drink in. But his eyes continued to rest on my face.

More so, my lips.

My pussy kept pressing against his clear erection causing him to bite back a moan and tighten his grip on my hands.

“Stop it,” he bit out through gritted teeth.

I didn’t.

In fact, I pressed myself up closer to him, rubbing my clit against his cock. “Stop what? This? I thought you wanted this?”

The teasing tone of my voice was thick which only angered Matt even more.

“You look pathetic, trying so hard not to-.”

My words were cut off by his mouth devouring mine in such a heated kiss, it nearly rendered me useless. I lay under him, motionless for a moment, as his mouth moved against mine. The feeling of his tongue against mine made me moan into his mouth, trying to get more of him; desperate for it.

“YOU’RE INSUFFERABLE!” I kneed him in the gut once I realized what was going on and he fell to the other side of the bed, clutching his side.

“REALLY? LAST TIME I CHECKED, YOU LOVED IT WHEN MY LIPS WERE ON YOURS!” He shot back before reaching for me again, crashing our lips together.

This had been weeks worth of build up, the sexual tension between us a tight rubber band ready to snap with any added extra weight. My brain kept screaming at me to push him off and smack him for what he did to me, breaking my fathers camera.

Yet my soul was thriving. It never felt more alive knowing that Matt was once again staking his claim with his lips, nipping and sucking at the sensitive parts of my body; down my neck and over my collar bone after he yanked down the collar of my shirt.

Calloused fingers brushed along the thin elastic of my panties, teasing me with his silent question.

“Take them off,” I demand against his lips, raising my hips off the bed.

Our clothes gathered together in a heap on the floor and while I lay bare for Matt’s hungry eyes, he remained kneeling on the bed. His cock was red with agitation, desperate for not only some sort of contact but release as well.

“You’re beautiful, Fairy,” Matt mused while kissing from my navel, up between the valley of my breasts, and left small indentations with his teeth against my neck.

I left angry red marks down the length of his spine while spreading my legs for him. His fingers gathered my wetness between my folds, pressing small circles against my clit and I sucked in a breath.

“Already so wet for me? I haven’t even touched you yet,” he chuckled darkly before nipping at my bottom lip.

I was not about to give Matt the satisfaction in knowing our little play fighting and making out turned me on beyond measure. My body was already on the brink of collapse from our weeks of constant teasing and bickering. I reveled in the way Matt came off rude and brooding, sometimes to me, but also found myself loving how caring and thoughtful he’d been in the beginning.

A finger slipped inside of me and I arched myself off the bed, my breasts brushing against Matt’s chest.

“You like that?” He cocked his head to the side. “Use your words, fairy. I need to hear what you want.”

I sunk my nails into his arm, trying to bring him closer. “You, Matthew. Please. I just want you.”

Begging? Really? There goes your dignity.

I didn’t have time to chastise the voice in my mind because Matt let out a growl before rolling me to my stomach and hiking my ass up in the air. The sound of skin on skin echoed in the small hotel room and a breathy moan fell from my lips.

Matt cursed before leaning over the bed to reach for his suitcase.

“What are you doing?” I almost whined.

“Condom,” he muttered while rifling through his bag. “Shit! Of course the one time I don’t pack fucking condoms.”

I saw his eyes flick up to the wall in front of me, most likely to the room next door, and knew he was contemplating asking whoever was rooming next to us for a condom.

“I have an implant,” I finally said while looking over my shoulder. “And I’m clean.”

Those eyes shimmered as they rested on my face. “So am I.”

With his cock gripped tight in his hand, Matt lined up at my entrance before slowly pushing himself inside. My head went to fall to the pillows but his hand gathered the teal strands in his palm, yanking my head up.

“Oh, god,” I moaned when he was fully inside.

I’d never felt so full before.

My walls clenched around him, a silent beg for him to move, but Matt remained still. His chest constricted with the breath he’d been holding so I slowly started fucking myself on his cock.

“Matthew,” I panted. “Please, I need you to move.”

With one tight grip on my hair and the other on my hip, he let out a strangled breath finally.

“I won’t last long, fairy. I don’t-.”

You assured him with a gentle smile. “I won't either. I’m already so close.”

Knowing that I wouldn’t last long either, Matt let go of the grip on my hair to slide over to my clit, pressing fast circles against the swollen bundle of nerves. His pace was ruthless, fucking in and out of me with such force, the headboard began slamming against the wall.

I was dizzy with my arousal, it clouding my judgment because I knew that this was only going to be a quick fuck and then we’d go back to bickering. Not accepting what both of us wanted. We could try to ignore how we felt about one another but there was no way I could ignore how perfect he felt inside of me. It was as if we clicked together like a perfect puzzle piece.

Cliche. But it was true.

Matt’s broad chest pressed against my back so he could drag his teeth against my spine. “You feel so fucking good. Fuck.”

All I could do was nod, too blissed out on the way his fingers danced against my clit. My orgasm was so close, teetering on the edge of the cliff, and my body stilled for a moment as I tried to grasp that release.

“No!”

I whined when Matt pulled all the way out of me only for him to throw me onto my back and wrap a leg around his back, slipping back inside of me.

“I want to see your pretty face when you cum,” he grunted while thrusting inside of me.

I dared a peak down to where I bodies connected as he pulled himself almost all the way out and choked on a moan when I saw his cock glisten in the low light of the room because of our shared arousal.

“Look at me, Faye.”

My eyes snapped up to his, blown wide with his euphoria and with one final snap of his hips, I cried out my orgasm; eyes never leaving his.

I writhed underneath him but his fingers never stopped their onslaught on my clit, working me through the violent aftershocks. Matt threw his head back in a silent scream as his cock throbbed inside of me seconds before spilling his release.

His body fell to the bed next to me in a gruff of exhaustion and I lay there for a long moment, staring up at the ceiling; tracing the patterns of the cracks instead of the realization that I should get up to clean myself so I can find someone else to bunk with.

As I began to slip out from underneath Matt, he threw his tattooed leg over my hips, blocking me from leaving the bed.

“Where are you going?” He asked, pulling my back to his chest.

Our skin was sticky with sweat and I felt our cum between my legs but with his grip on me, it was clear Matt didn’t want me to leave.

“I just thought-,” I pointed to the door.

He buried his face in my neck, leaving a tender kiss. “I’m not letting you go, Faye. This was never a quick fuck for me. I think this was weeks worth of pent up sexual frustration that turned into something we both wanted; even if we weren’t ready to admit it.”

I traced over the tattoos on his arm as it lay lazily over my stomach.

“Sounds like you’ve got a great therapist,” I hummed.

Matt snorted. “More like a philosopher of a friend.”

We lay together in a mess of tangled limbs for a long moment, basking in the silence. Matt’s breathing became slow and steady, indicating he was seconds away from falling into a deep slumber, one I was desperate to chase. But I couldn’t stop the nagging thought in my mind.

“So what does this mean for us?” I forced myself to ask.

“This is a really shitty way of asking you out considering I broke your camera. But what do you say we go out on an official date once we're back home and settled?”

I linked my fingers with Matt’s, bringing his hand to my lips to leave a tender kiss across his knuckles. “I’d love that.”

The tight grip that had been crushing my heart and soul since we started fighting suddenly evaporated into nothing. All I could feel was growing adoration for the man behind me.

Deep sleep was seconds away from clutching both of us to drag us into the dark depths but before I could succumb, my tired voice called out into the vastness of the room.

“You owe me a camera, by the way.”

Matt chuckled while laying a kiss to the side of my head. “Already taken care of, fairy.”

FAYE

“So, how’re things going with Jesse and Tay?” I called over to Matt, who stood in the kitchen in front of his stove.

“Good!” He called back. “Although, I’m sure you already knew that since she’s your friend.”

I shrugged, knowing he was right, but then gave him a smile of thanks when he returned into the living room with my cup of tea.

“We were talking about getting together for a double date this weekend,” I said.

Matt pressed a chaste kiss to my lips before settling back into the couch next to me. “Whatever you want, fairy.”

We’d been home for a few weeks now from tour and found ourselves settling in pretty quickly to this new relationship. Our first official date was the aquarium with everyone else but I didn’t mind it. I got to know Hollow Souls more and working for them had been an absolute dream.

I was able to photograph Chase and Malcolms wedding. With the exact make and model of camera that mirrored the one my dad gave me. While it wasn't the exact one, I knew Matt had scoured the internet for days trying to find one so I was extremely grateful for it.

We’d spent the entire day on Matt’s couch cuddled together under a pile of blankets, more specifically his Greys Anatomy blanket, with all three of his dogs either laying on top of us or next to us. The television had been on a constant rerun of Grey's Anatomy, him finally talking me into watching it with him. My fingers played with the ends of his hair, him opting out on wearing a hat today. I’d been wearing nothing but one of his shirts and a pair of boyshort panites. It had been a pretty hot day in California so Matt decided on wearing just a pair of joggers. We would have been three episodes ahead in our marathon if we hadn’t continuously paused it for our extra activities.

“Oh, shit. I almost forgot. How is Y/N’s and Noah’s redo date going?” I set my empty cup down on the table in front of me.

Matt snickered while reaching for his phone. “I haven’t heard anything yet. I’m starting to wonder if he backed out on asking-.”

His voice trailed off as his eyes never left the bright screen of his phone. The words on the current text thread he had open drained all the color from his face.

“Matthew,” I said tentatively, sitting up on the couch and running a hand over his back. “What is it?”

He swallowed thickly before running a hand over his face and those broken eyes found mine. “Y/N’s dad died. Her and Noah are flying to Japan tomorrow night.”

#matt dierkes #matt dierkes x ofc #matt dierkes fanfiction #matt dierkes fic #bad omens #just pretend noah sebastian #bad omens cult

192 notes · View notes

leclercvsx · 7 months ago

Text

Show off | SMAU

LANDO NORRIS

pairings: Lando x footballer!reader

summary: Lando is dating reader, who’s a football player for arsenal WFC & Lioness’ and Lando isn’t shy when it comes to reminding people that he is readers boyfriend.

warnings: storylines do not add up, i’m pretty much making them up on the spot!

face claim: Alessia Russo (loml)

note: I KNOW IM LATE BUT OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE LANDO WON HIS FIRST RACE!!!I WAS SCREAMING WHEN HE CROSSED THAT LINE😭

masterlist | requests open

yourusername

liked by landonorris, ellatoone, lionesses and 52,726 others

yourusername: Evenings at Wembley✨Only onwards and upwards from here🦁💕

landonorris: my girlfriend everyone, look at her go😁😁

leahwilliamson: i don’t know what she’s told you, but she’s MY girlfriend😐

ellatoone: i think you’ve both been mistaken, she’s actually my girlfriend

landonorris: i will fight both of you (virtually because i would never hit a woman🙏🏼)

yourusername: calm down girls, there’s plenty of me to go around😛

lionesses: 🦁❤️

carlossainz: Great game Y/n! Lando made sure all of us watched it

yourusername: thank you, Carlos! i’m sorry Lando put you through that😔

danielricciardo: don’t be sorry, Y/n. We loved watching you play🙏🏼

liked by yourusername

fan1: Lando forcing the grid to watch the Lioness’s games sounds so funny to me😭😭

——

landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 1,263,372 others

landonorris: Celebrating my first win AND celebrating my girlfriend winning her match🙏🏼🧡

tagged: yourusername, mclaren

yourusername: IM SO PROUD OF YOU

yourusername: You deserve this!!!

yourusername: it’s also very sweet that you included my win, BUT THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU🧡🧡

landonorris: your wins are my wins and my wins are your wins❤️

oscarpiastri: that was cringe

leahwilliamson: i agree with pastry

oscarpiastri: thanks but that is NOT my name

yourusername: it is now x

carlossainz55: congrats, you deserve it💪

liked by landonorris

mclaren: here’s to many more🧡

——

yourusername

liked by landonorris, leahwilliamson and 52,827 others

yourusername: enjoyed the off-season with this muppet, time to get back to training💪

tagged: landonorris

landonorris: i miss you

yourusername: it’s been less than 24 hours since we last saw eachother

landonorris: i miss you

leahwilliamson: im gonna enjoy seeing you everyday and rubbing it in Lando’s face😅

landonorris: i hate you

leahwilliamson: your girlfriends about to become mine

landonorris: back🤺off🤺

yourusername: Leah, be nice👀

francisca.cgomes: gonna miss seeing you in the paddock :(

yourusername: i’m gonna miss you too😔

lilymhe: don’t worry, we’ll all be there for that world cup final😉

yourusername: hopefully we make it😅

carmenmmundt: you WILL make it, we’re manifesting it

fan1: the way the wags interact with her😭😭😭

fan2: i KNOW it’s so cute

fan3: well she is a wag too, let’s not forget

——

landonorris added to their story

yourusername replied: i love you😭😭

landonorris: i love you too❤️

fan1 replied: she’s so cute omg

lilymhe replied: she’s gonna smash the world cup

leahwilliamson replied: she went out with me before you by the way

landonorris: LEAVE ME ALONE

——

yourusername

liked by landonorris, leahwilliamson and 173,372 others

yourusername: absolutely gutted and heartbroken, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I’m so unbelievably proud and grateful to be apart of this special team. No one else i would want to be on this journey with🤍

I want to say a huge thank you to everyone that came out to support us and those of you at home who have supported us from the very start. We’ll all cherish these memories forever.

For now we’ll all rest up and recover and come back better than ever🦁🤍

alexgreenwood5: ❤️

1maryearps: ❤️❤️❤️

keirawalsh: ❤️

landonorris: you did great baby, you’ll win the next one🫶

carlossainz55: you did very well!

lilymhe: you did unbelievably well, Y/n. The next time you will win, i swear❤️

yourusername: thanks guys, sorry i disappointed you all❤️

landonorris: stop that. you didn’t disappoint anyone.

fan1: i’m sobbing

fan2: you were great, it just wasn’t meant to be :(

——

landonorris added to their story

yourusername replied: thank you for everything

landonorris: no need to thank me❤️

leahwilliamson replied: as much as i hate to admit it, i’m glad you’re taking care of her

fan1 replied: that’s so cute

danielricciardo replied: you are such a simp

landonorris: shut the fuck up

——————————

i’m so proud of Lando’s first win. i was literally SCREAMING when he won. i didn’t wanna jinx it so i kept my cool and was just focusing on the gap between him and max but when he crossed that line me and my friend screamed and clapped😭😭

228 notes · View notes

buckymorelikefuckme · 4 months ago

Note

steve rogers x fem reader

words: 697

warnings & tags: this is just pure fluff 😭

a/n: this isn’t proofread and written p quickly, but thank you for sending this so i could let go of this sweet little idea i had sitting in my drafts 🥹♥️♥️♥️♥️ i hope you like it!! xo

You almost didn’t come to your high school reunion, and honestly, part of you wishes you hadn’t. Those were some of the worst years of your life and you don’t exactly want to relive them.

But… Okay, so, maybe it’s a silly reason to attend the reunion, but your curiosity about one specific person won out. Steve Rogers, your high school crush, a fellow nerd like yourself. He was scrawny and fierce, kind to a fault—except to bullies, even if it meant taking a hit or two. He’d been your lab partner during your senior year, the two of you soaring through the class with the highest grades and sharing an easy camaraderie.

It’d been the simplest thing in the world for you to fall for him. Your only regret was never saying anything to him about it. So, naturally, when the invitation came in the mail, the only motivation you had to go was to hopefully see him and catch up with him.

You’ve been in the ballroom of the hotel where the reunion was taking place for almost two hours and haven’t caught the first glimpse. Which is why you’re now nursing a drink at the open bar and ignoring everyone around you.

Suddenly, someone comes to stand in the spot next to you. They clear their throat lightly and, with a sigh, you lift your gaze to meet striking blue eyes that are crinkle at the corners from a smile. Your frown smooths out into surprise as recognition hits you.

“Steve?”

The gentle laugh that escapes him feels like a sucker punch. This is not the boy from school you remember. This is a man, who clearly had a major growth spurt, with broad shoulders and strong muscles that are straining against his clothes, a sharp jaw, and a full beard that your fingers itch to touch.

He says your name in return on an exhale, that stunning smile tickling the corners of his lips still. “Hi,” he greets, shyly glancing down to his feet then back up at you through his thick lashes.

It takes a moment for your brain to kick-start again, but once it does you quickly set off into conversation. Talking with Steve flows easily and you’re back to feeling like a teenager within minutes, giggling and feeling heat gather in your cheeks, almost twirling your hair around your finger more than once.

“I’m really glad you’re here,” he confesses a little while later. “I was hoping you would be.”

“Really?” you question, then blurt, “Why?”

Steve laughs, shrugging as he ducks his head and bites his lip. “Kinda hard to forget your first crush,” he replies shamelessly.

“You liked me?” you ask, voice quiet and astonished, tummy swirling with nerves.

“Of course I did. You were kind to me when not many others were and so beautiful,” he admits. “Still are,” he adds softly.

“But…” You trail off, blinking rapidly as your mind races. “But I had a crush on you!”

Steve’s eyebrows shoot up. “That’s way more shocking than me liking you,” he teases.

“No it’s not,” you protest earnestly. “You were always so sweet and made me laugh. You never backed down from the mean kids and stood up for others who were too scared to do it for themselves. It was impossible for me to not like you.”

“Ah,” he breathes, bashfully waving you off.

“I only came here in the hopes of seeing you too,” you say after gathering the courage.

Steve meets your eyes then, sparkling and full of both tenderness and desire. You swallow roughly and do your best to hold his gaze, no matter how much it starts making you want to squirm. Finally, he breaks the momentary silence.

“You wanna get out of here? Maybe grab a bite to eat from the diner a few blocks away?” he proposes.

You’re nodding before he even finishes, beaming up at him. “I’d love to.”

The soft smile he aims your way makes your heart flutter, and when he takes your hand in his you finally let out the giggle that’s been threatening to slip out the entire time you’ve been talking with him.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers prompt #steve rogers fic #steve rogers

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livelaughlovesubs · 9 months ago

Text

Pitiful thing

Dom!reader x sub!Raphael (reader is gender neutral)

Part two!

!Warning! dark content (this is going to be disgusting), a bit gore (ripping wings!), sadistic reader, spit, vomit, dacryphilia, beating, biting, stepping, stomping, kicking, piercing (Rara is getting rid of an old one), anal play, sounding, slapping, use of sex toys, blood

Word count: 7.3k (my longest one yet)

Nini!rant: repost until it shows up in the tag…!

The accident which occurred during Christmas was long forgotten. For you it was a brief interaction, a short encounter and a meeting never meant to happen. It didn’t matter what happened to him, to that angel, because in the end what they did to you were worse. Maybe it wasn’t justified and you were being petty, since that angel in particular hasn’t done anything yet, but do you regret it? No. It was fun.

On the other hand, it left the other party pretty impressed, as if the event left a brand on him. That angel thought something was established between you two. A special treatment only he got, as if he became a higher being. It’s not that he caught feelings for you, it was for the act you did to him. Even though it’s a curse in disguise, since he is the sun that got attracted to the night.

Not even a month later that man came down to hell again, landing at the same spot as last time, searching for a certain someone. Just like playing catch, about him looking for that vivid dream he lived down here. How ironic, once was enough to get him hooked and addicted.

And destiny was playing a prank on you, unexpectedly bringing you two together again. Because as fate planned, you crossed that path on that specific day too. A huge dust cloud was spreading in front of you, hindering your sight. It took a while to make out the familiar shadow between the mist. You squint your eyes, no way he was back here again. However you weren’t displeased. Why should you get upset about something insignificant like this anyway.

“Someone out for revenge?” You remarked and leaned against one of the food stalls. The familiar figure turned around to face you, his bright blond hair appearing from behind the mist. “No, rather, I’m here to thank you.” He said, slowly his entire figure emerged from the dust. “That’s surprising, why so?” His words caught your attention, you didn’t expect it from him, an angel. “You helped me become a higher being, I guess it is curtesy that I show you my gratitude. So, I’ll give you permission to touch me.” Raphael said with a smug face. It’s unnecessary to mention that you were hella confused, what did he eat this time?

The angel also seemed a little confused now and added, “…shouldn’t you be grateful and happy?” Ah. So that’s what was going on in his head. “Hah, haha.” You giggled, and continued with, “become a higher being? Really? You angels are more arrogant than I thought.” Raphael didn’t let it get to him, all he did was muttering under his breath, “right, a human couldn’t possibly understand something as complex as this. Fine, I don’t care.” That’s what he said, but he did sound a little disappointed.

“Right… hey Raphael, just tell me if you want to fuck. I liked how you cried.” You were now the one with a smug face. Suddenly he grabbed your shoulder and shouted, “Don’t forget your place, you are just an insignificant creature, we angels are the only ones loved by god.” The grip was tight, it almost started to hurt, but you couldn’t stand how he tried to intimidate you, so you replied, “oh yea? And who is named gods only mistake?” That wasn’t smart, he had all reasons to kill you after all. But hopefully he won’t, after all you are the one that got him ‘closer’ to god. You are the only hint those annoying things have.

The Blondie seemed to struggle with making a decision, before giving up. “Damn it.” He sighed and pushed you away. “Woa, how friendly of you. Now I’m definitely not going to help you become a greater being.” “And what if I threaten to kill you?” “You can’t because you’ll still need me.” This wasn’t going anywhere, it’d be better to just separate. Right now all you two were doing was fighting like children.

“So what do I have to do to get you to help?” Raphael crossed his arms and acted coldly, still having that overly confident aura surrounding him. His halo with the little sun was also shining slightly, how it irked you. All angels were the same, overly confident, arrogant and a pain in the ass. Then something clicked in your head, even if their personalities are shitty, you were still able to have fun. “… actually, nothing, just don’t resist.” “What?” You didn’t explain yourself, instead walked closer to him, resulting in him backing up some steps too. “What are you-” “I told you not to resist.” Your hand reached out to him, holding him by his waist. “Ugh..!” He tensed up, you could tell he was hesitating on what to do, still looking for the best solution. But you ignored it, why should you care about his comfort anyway, he came to ask you to touch him after all.

The hand, which was on his hips moved to his back and groped his ass, while your other one started to cup his bulge. He pushed you away again, “You! How dare you do something like that!” “You said I got permission to do it.” “And? That’s why you aren’t going to warn me?” You rolled your eyes and turned around, about to go back to your home in hell. “If you don’t want to do it I won’t. I’ll be on my way now, what a waste of time.” “Wait!” He yelled again, with a half angry and half desperate tone. “I’ll do it, just- not here.” “Pff, everyone saw your body on Christmas anyway.” “Still, ugh, why are you so stubborn?!” “I’m leaving~” “alright alright!” Raphael hurriedly raised his shirt, biting the end of it to keep it raised, showing off his piercings. The two crosses on his chest waved, practically inviting you to touch them. A small smirk escaped you, “hah, so you can be a good boy after all.”

A few moments later you were touching him all over. He stood and kept his arms behind his back while you gave him a sloppy handjob. Hands wrapped around his shaft, pressing down slightly when reaching the tip and repeating the movements. Every time you did that he flinched, his shoulders jerked upwards and his piercings clanked against his skin. All those accessories on his body were cute, he was the definition of ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’. Not to mention his moans were adorable too, and how he blushed like a maiden fresh in love. Did he get more sensitive during that time span? At least that cock cage he once had was gone, guess he didn’t get a new one. “Hey, get on your knees.” “Hmmm?!?” He sounded like he was protesting, but you can’t hear so it doesn’t matter. In the end, he did just as you said, why would he go though the extra trouble to be a brat only to follow your comment anyway. After he got on his knees, he soiled his clean white pants with dirt, his cheeks got a bit redder too. Because he kneeled down, you couldn’t reach his crotch anymore, so you placed your hand on his chest instead.

Fumbling with his pink nipples, tugging on them carefully. Rolling your finger over them and groping his pecs. It was embarrassing for Raphael, it didn’t hurt nor felt especially good, it was humiliating. Every single part of this was shameful and he truly didn’t know what he was doing here. Though somehow, he still found pleasure in the pain you gave him, it was scary how much he enjoyed it.

His saliva drooled down his chin, all the way down to his white sweater. A wet spot could be seen and it kept getting bigger. His bangs were also sticking to his forehead due to the sweat covering his body, and not to mention how much he trembled. It was cute, you wanted more. You pulled at his piercings, enough for it to hurt slightly, watching as his buds stretched forwards. “Mhm-mmM!” The angel groaned, face blushing furiously while he clenched his teeth. Eyebrows furrowed and expression twisted into one of shame. If you didn’t know better you would have thought he was going to kill you any moment.

“I’m done, get up.” Just as how abrupt you started this play, you ended it too. That was so sudden, he couldn’t even process the information before your hands left his body. He let his shirt fall down and asked, “what? But…” then he bit his bottom lip, followed by standing up on his wobbly legs, unwillingly getting up from his spot. “fine, ugh..” the man in front of you looked like a mess, seriously, he couldn’t even stand without shaking. “You did pretty well, come back another time.” “..?? Why’s that?” “Don’t follow me.” You turned around and left, ignoring him as well as his questions. “Hey, hey! Come back- you, ugh, damn it!” That man’s frustrated screams were the last thing you heard.

Some time has passed since your second meeting with him. To be honest, you were surprised he actually listened to you and didn’t follow you. Nevertheless, that didn’t change much about your perception of him. You weren’t sure yourself why you left like that, however you were sure on one thing, it was a good decision to leave that day. He will come to you by himself sooner or later, and if destiny is still in your favour, everything will go just as you anticipated.

Today you were chilling outside a hotel. It feels nice being alone for a bit, or rather, not being in the presence of any clingy devils. You didn’t necessarily hate them, but you didn’t have hard feelings towards them neither. At first you thought it wouldn’t bother you that they all subconsciously thought you were Solomon, but it did start getting on your nerves. Also how they didn’t even want to accept the fact that you were someone else, not trying at all to adjust. They were also rather… controlling. It was hard enough to sneak out without Satan or sitri noticing.

Raphael didn’t have such a peaceful time like you, he was frustrated beyond repair. The first time you touched him he was at least able to finish, last time you left him with a raging boner. That must be the reason why he missed you so much, he wanted you to finish what you started. So when he finally found you, his heart skipped a beat. He immediately landed in the back alley of the hotel, quietly and carefully, as if one wrong move would cause you to run away.

You noticed him when he started to walk towards you, wondering when he got here. It’s the first time he didn’t make a mess as soon as he came down to hell. “You, you are free now aren’t you?” Raphael proclaimed, a stressed expression on his face. The past two weeks didn’t go well for him huh. “Yea, and?” “The thing you did last time, finish it.” You eyed him up and down, he could feel your sharp gaze on him, it made him almost uncomfortable. Once again he was making such a bold request. Oh well, you have some spare space in your schedule and playing with something else once in a while is healthy. “I’ll pretend I heard you say ‘please’, anyway, follow me.” “Where are you taking me?” “I thought you preferred doing it inside?” “I’m not a pervert like someone else after all.” How impolite he was, but you’ll excuse him for this once.

You greeted the reception as you got inside the hotel and walked straight to the elevator, Raphael followed you with hesitant steps before joining you. It was a bit awkward, especially for him since it’s an unfamiliar environment, you could see how he fumbled with his hand. Maybe he was wondering why none of the devils were suspicious of him, or if his presence really is that unnoticeable. It could have been something entirely unrelated too.

The two of you didn’t exchange a word while waiting, and it continued until both of you arrived at the vip room (a small advantage of being friendly with the kings) of the hotel. Afterwards you pulled out a room card and unlocked the door with a click sound, opening and entering it. “Close the door behind you.” You said, in case it wasn’t obvious enough. He did without much thought, and started looking around in the room. It was pretty and had a bathtub too, to be expected for vip. The bed was kingsized, it took up so much space but the room still looked huge.

You sat down on the bed, he stood in front of you. Then you commented, “you know, Raphael, you value yourself so much but how comes every time we meet it’s about intimacy? You are pretty desperate for an angel.” He didn’t show much of an expression, even so you could read his body language and saw his fist tightening. “It’s a bit ironic.” A small chuckle slipped from you after saying that, then you patted the space next to you, telling him to sit down. The angel obliged and walked over, when he got close enough you pulled him by the arm to force him to sit down.

Just like what happened a few days ago, you do what you want without any regards for him. Once he sat down, you pushed him again to make him lay flat on his back. He didn’t really resist since he knew he was stronger than you, and this time he wasn’t restricted by any weird powers. “Keep your hands above your head.” Another command, he debated silently whether he should keep playing obedient, but after seeing how you left last time… he really didn’t want to get worked up for nothing again. It’s always so thrilling and surprising when with you, because you do what you want and never tell him your plans. Though sometimes he thinks it’s better he doesn’t know.

Now that his arms were hold above him, you tied them together. Despite the fact that he has been good until now, you can never be sure about the future. “Hey, why are you tying me up again?” Raphael asked. “I didn’t tie you up during Christmas,” You clarified. “You know what I mean.” “I feel more comfortable like this, don’t want to?” Your eyes stared into his coldly, showing that you ain’t up for games. He wanted to protest further, however the thought of you leaving him like that was something he couldn’t make peace with. Not after all the efforts he went through to find you. He went quiet again until you were done binding him.

Next thing you did was pulling out the rather familiar ball gag, about to install it onto him again. The angel widened his eyes, were you planning to recreate the past with all those equipments or what? Did you pity the fact you couldn’t do more? When you brought the gag closer to his face, he reluctantly opened his mouth, letting you bind the straps around his head. After gaging him successfully, you pulled out a cutter knife, bringing it to his neck. His pupils shrunk, he glared at you menacingly. You dragged the knife along his neck, taking note of how his breath got more and more shallow with each passing second. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you.” Yea, so reassuring, he feels so safe.

You grabbed his collar and pointed the sharp edge towards his shirt, afterwards you cut into his sweater. The knife was sharp enough to cut through the fairly thick fabric pretty easily. From the top to the bottom, until you split his clothes in two. He hold his breath the entire time, which was weird since normally he didn’t fear death nor wounds. A little blood was fine and he can take the pain, so why was he so nervous? It must be because of how stoic you were. You looked so chill and serious while you tore his clothes, keeping your attention on him and no one else. It’s the first time someone was focused on him like this, it was almost embarrassing, but he didn’t dislike it.

But you were thinking about how naive and cute he was, all you did was look at him for a few seconds and now his heart was pounding like crazy. It was way too easy to wrap him around your finger. Angels truly are useless and pitiful things. After you finished cutting through his clothes, you put the knife away. You only cut it in the middle, so that they were hanging from his shoulder like jackets. Since they were cut now, it revealed his bare torso. This is the third time that you’ve seen him in such a state. Those accessories he wore didn’t change one bit, still sparkling on their own. At this rate you were going to mesmerise every single one of them. Two vertical nipple piercings, two just below his chest, two on his navel which were connected by a chain, three belly button piercings and three rings a fairly large distance under his armpits on each side. He also had more, like two on his hips or some on his arms, but you weren’t entirely sure about it. Nevertheless you liked his piercings for many reasons.

This time you were better prepared for his sudden visit, so you had a whole bag full of stuff you wanted to try with him. The first one of those toys was a sounding rod, the same one he seemingly loved during Christmas Eve. Your hand made its way downwards and started rubbing against his bulge, gently caressing it until he got hard. Out of reflex he clenched his thighs, causing you to force them open to kept touching him. Small sounds of pleasure could be heard from him as he whimpered under the gag. “Mhm..mhm!” Those were only low grunts, you could see how he tired to keep his composure as long as possible. Next you pulled his pants down, revealing his semi erect dick. He was so eager it made you want to laugh, you didn’t even touch him that much but he still got hard. It was pathetic.

You took the metal rod and pointed the tip towards his slit before slowly inserting it. It hurt so much while you did it, it was unbearably painful. He wanted to move and clench his legs together again but you didn’t allow him, instead you said, “spread them wider, or I might pierce something I should’t.” With such a warning, he had no choice but to open them, reluctantly allowing you to play with him some more. His legs were trembling again as you forced the entire rod inside his urethra, tears started to build in his eyes. That was a bodily reaction to the sting and pain, since the metal wasn’t even wet when you shoved it inside him. “Hmm.. hgnG..” he yelped a little and jerked his hips, trusting forward. There was no helping it, it was so painful… yet why was he so aroused now?

After using that, you reached for another one of your toys, an egg vibrator. You strapped it against his tip, but didn’t turn it on yet. It was still the preparation process. Which is why you put one of the egg vibrator inside a condom, then pulled that over a dildo. This time you did reach for the lube, out of your own comfort, since the things you want to do will be harder without it. Squeezing some of that liquid onto the makeshift dick and pointing the tip against his entrance. The Blondie was on the verge of clenching his thighs together again, it took all his willpower not to. He was fearful of your treatment, however also thrilled. It’s like he loves and hates it, but most importantly he wants you to keep your attention on him. Don’t leave like last time, please don’t leave him alone.

While you were teasing his hole, you glanced at his figure. What he did was unbelievably adorable. How he made himself smaller by rolling into a ball, so helpless and vulnerable it got you acting on your desires. You did cover that toy with lube, but you didn’t prepare him. Instead you pushed and used your strength to force your way in again. “MhmMHH!!” Another scream. “Don’t be so tense, Raphael, it will only hurt more.” You gave him some advice, even though you were sure he knew himself. His chest raised and sunk, his breathing unsteady and eyes unfocused. Those almost emotionless eyes were half lidded and hidden by his bangs. This pulled your attention towards his bandages, especially that eye patch. You were going to rip it from his face one day.

His hands clenched around the rope you used to tie him up, legs wide open like he was some cheap whore and single drops of tears rolling down his face. The halo, which hasn’t been doing much until now, suddenly started to shine as if it was trying to distract you. You didn’t really mind at first, but the more you pushed that toy inside him, the more that ring of pure light shone. When the dildo fully penetrated him, his halo, that divine Symbole, was already illuminating the entire room. No need to say it blinded and annoyed you, leading to you hesitantly reached out to that thing. You touched it with the tip of your finger to make sure it wasn’t dangerous, before gripping it with your whole palm and yanking it off him. That wasn’t exactly hard to do, which kind of surprised you. You had an angels halo in your hand now… and it was still shining, which is why you threw it away.

Raphael’s expression was one of shock. Of course it would be that, no one ever ripped his halo off and he didn’t neither. It didn’t hurt, though it did feel like something disappeared from him, and his body got lighter. Well, all you did was throw it into another corner, so he can probably just pick it up later…right? Somehow, he was starting to get an unwell feeling about this, he was skeptical. He wanted to tell you how he felt about what you did or were doing, despite his wants he couldn’t, he couldn’t bring it over himself to tell you no. Besides this is nothing, he can bear it, all he had to do was to focus on you and pleasing you, then you’ll also keep your gaze on him. An eye for an eye right?

Everything was done now, your preparations were complete. You turned the vibrators on, directly skipping to the middle level. The eggs started to move and were rubbing against him. Even though he expected it made his shoulders jerk and dick twitch, it was still so sudden. One was placed on his tip and another deep inside him. “Hu-hmm…mhm.” Raphael panted. How amazing it felt at first, but the sensations and blood rush was becoming too much for him to handle. All you did was observe him for a few moments, then giving the relentless toys assaulting him a helping hand. Trusting the dildo in and out of him, other hand tugging at his piercings, mouth kissing his neck and eventually biting down. “NGhHnn… m-mhm..!” He sobbed a little when he felt your teeth sink into his skin. You bit hard enough to draw blood, and when you pulled back you were able to see the blood flowing down his shoulder to his collarbones and chest. The red fluid was giving a nice contrast to his smooth and pale skin, as if you were drawing on a white canvas. This was starting to stir something within you, out of impulse you used your finger to wipe the blood, then licking it clean with your tongue.

You bit him again and again, the area around his nipples, his other shoulder, his torso or abdomen. When you were done leaving bite or smooch marks on his upper body, you started kissing every of his wounds. Like his piercings or the ones you left on him. The vibe changed drastically, it felt soft and gentle in contrast to what you were doing earlier, making his heart pound faster. “Hmm…” a low content groan left him. What you did felt like it was forbidden to him, it felt like something two lovers would do. How he yearned for that, for any kind of love and touch this depraved man could get. At the same time he was so ashamed of his actions, how could- dare he enjoy the touch of someone who isn’t god? How could he even think about being in a relationship with anyone but god?

The vibrations were adding up with each other, especially the one on his tip. It was starting to hurt because of how sensitive he was. “Uhh..hu-ugh..” Once again he repressed his own feelings in order to keep you here with him. This however resulted in some squirming and trashing around to balance the pain. He rolled from one side to the other, irritating you a little. “Raphael, hold still.” You commanded, but he couldn’t listen, it’s like his body doesn’t want to follow him anymore. “MhHmm..! HmMm..” “Raphael.” You repeated his name, nothing happened. A silent minute passed, with his whines being the only thing that filled the room. Why was he acting up suddenly? Even though you tried to calm him down, he continued kicking around like he was riding the bike. Then you slapped him.

A loud sound erupted in the mists of complete silence, his face turned to the left side and an imprint of your hand started to show on his cheeks. “Uhh..!” He could still feel the sting of the moment you hit him, the aftermath also lingering for a few extra seconds. Eyes widened once again, a speechless expression featured on his face as he glanced at you. Another slap, this time his face turned to the right side. You haven’t uttered a single word yet, but you let out a deep breath. A few moments of silence again, now his eyes were completely hidden by his bangs, you couldn’t tell what he was looking at. What a coward, hiding his gaze like that, it was staring to get on your wrong side.

You punched his stomach, making the angel gag. It didn’t hurt that much, aside from the fact he felt like the food he ate was being forced out of him. For you though, it didn’t quench your anger, instead you were more annoyed now because the piercings he owned were in your way. You grabbed the chain and yanked on it hard, he yelled which was muffled by the gag again. “MhmmM!” You pulled on it again, now blood was dripping from where he pierced them. He moved his body, trying to escape before he froze on the spot. As if a hidden force was hindering him from just running away. And you tugged at it a third time, this time you managed to pull the entire chain off, running his piercing. “GaHHhh!! MHmMM!!” It hurt, it hurt so much and yet he still weren’t able to get on his feet. Was this some kind of trial god gave him?!?

A bit of his skin was stuck to the accessory, with that being said it got ripped off too. He was bleeding from his navel now, and that wasn’t exactly a small amount. It spilled down from all sides, turning his body and the bed red. “Uh-UhmM..!” A shudder ran down his spine at the sight of it, he was always covered in blood but never his own. His eye brows furrowed and pupils quivered, a small blush spread across his face. This was new, and arousing to some degree. It made him forget about the pain completely.

You took a look at the chain and threw it away, it looked disgusting all covered in blood and skin pieces. Also since the bed was red now you didn’t want to sit on it, instead standing up and stepping on his belly. “Huh, you are bleeding a lot more than I thought. It’s my first time I hurt someone to this degree.” Were you truly human? You said it’s your first time, but you looked so used to seeing blood, you didn’t even get nauseous from the look of it. He didn’t know what to do, all that happened was a deep blush forming on his cheeks, tears flowing down his face and blood storming through his new wounds.

You used more force to step on him, digging your shoe into his skin. The dirt which collected itself under your soles were now smeared onto his once beautiful skin. The imprint of your shoe looked nice on his helpless figure, just like the other marks you left on him. Then you started to raise your foot and stomp on him, enough for him to get the urge to vomit. “Ugh- ga-hghn…!” But the gag is in the way, if this continues he will just chock on his own vomit. He clenched his eyes, focusing on forcing it down. Of course that didn’t go unnoticed, you didn’t give him permission to close his eyes now did you? This led to you kicking the side of his head fairly gently, before stepping on his cheek. “Don’t pass out, I’m not done yet. The fun just began.” You smirked at him while you said that. A unsettling one at that, you could basically see the bad intention in it. Your expression just screamed ‘sadist’.

Finally you took the ball gag off him, he gasped and panted loudly. It didn’t take long for him to start chocking again due to you stomping on his stomach repeatedly. More tears spilled from him, his body wasn’t reacting well to your treatment. Why, was it because you were a human? He yanked on his binds, wanted to use his hand to cover his mouth. It was of no use, he was worn out now after such a long session. He couldn’t hold it back anymore and threw up all over himself. His entire figure was pulsating, lips quivering as he sobbed, then another round. This time it wasn’t just vomit but also blood. “Ah- urghh.. gahhh..” This was a huge burden on his body, making him nauseous and dizzy.

Your heart was beating fast, you wondered if sitri has located you yet with such a loud heartbeat. His pathetic face and posture was surprisingly beautiful, it felt so good watching him crumble underneath your feet. Rendering him powerless and dependent on your mercy felt great… how good would it feel if this was Gabriel instead who was suffering? The one responsible for your misery, to see him completely destroyed just like this. It sounded too delicious, so good you couldn’t keep a clear head anymore. You couldn’t help yourself! It’s his fault that he is an angel, it’s his fault he is of the same breed as Gabriel! You kicked him and kicked him again, bruising his body all while smiling with a content face. Swellings and dark spots were forming on that once flawless body. The more your view got blurred by red, the more you couldn’t separate him from your hatred. Oh well, you never claimed you were innocent anyway.

The beatings continued for some minutes, paired with random insults you wanted to throw at Gabriel. Looks like your anger got to your head. “Fucking whore, you think you are so much better than everyone else? You damn disgrace to your own race. God disappeared because of useless insects like you..!” Another kick, then you stomped on his chest, “fuck, I hate you Gabriel I hate you. It’s all your fault I’m like this, damn it.”

After calming down from your sudden outburst, you panted heavily. Now this was what you needed, a punching bag to vent your anger to. Your eyes fixated on him and only him, anything else didn’t matter anymore. Maybe you’ll get a complaint from the owner, but what are they gonna do, you were way more important than them.

Even though the ball gag wasn’t there anymore the angel beneath you didn’t scream a single time, the vibrators also weren’t turned off. All he did was gasp or whine while crying quietly. “Hic… hah..ha-haaa…” He didn’t cry due to the pain and torture, it was something else not even he understood. He smiled as he cried, watching you being so fixated on him you almost forgot to breath. His body looked like a war, or as if he tripped over paint with how many blue, purple or brown spots were spread on his skin. Not to mention all that red, even the tips of his once blond hair were dyed crimson now. The overwhelming smell of blood was filling your nostrils. Normally you weren’t a fan of that, however right now it didn’t bother you.

His wrists has bruises from the binds, his legs still twitched once in a while because of the toys and his stomach looked disturbing. As mentioned beforehand, bruises, bites and blood were present, also his vomit and cum made itself clear. There were other unidentified things mixed up in that toxic venom too, maybe some dirt and sweat. You didn’t care enough to try to figure it out though. It was damn disgusting how everything dripped down his body onto the mattress, and the smell was starting to get overwhelming. Not because of the blood but the other things. Nevertheless it felt good, knowing you’ll be the fall of him.

In the midst of this messy, unorganised situation, you hugged him. Currently unbothered by the fact that all the dirt and filth will get on your clothes too. You finally turned off the vibrators and took the toys out of him, an inaudible moan slipped from his lips as you did that. “Ah-..hng…” his wrists were bound together, but he was still able to move them, so he wrapped his arms around your neck. Raphael was holding onto you so tightly it was addictive. How would he react if you suddenly left like last time? Would he cry out in despair? Ah, that face must be really pretty…

He tried to hug you even tighter, probably using all his strength, despite that fact it felt like nothing. You really wore him out, enough for a seraphim to become this inexcusable disgrace. It must have been the stress building up inside you for the past few months, the stress of dealing with your harsh reality which led you to do such inhuman things to him. Who cares though, you were in hell already you can’t fall even deeper.

How he clung to you so desperately, how he whispered your name with that meek voice of his, it made you want to ruin him more. You cupped his cheeks, and pulled his eyepatch down. His hidden eye was a little bruised, maybe from a fight otherwise nothing special. How you wanted to pluck his eyeballs, they were so pretty after all. Raphael looked up at you with big eyes and shaky breath, as if he was expecting something. You kissed his forehead gently and slowly made your way over to his earlobes, now licking them with your tongue. The angel still had that pink blush covering his face as he enjoyed the first fluff moment he received since his creation, shuddering a tiny bit whenever you touched or caressed him. Then you whispered:

“you are so miserable it’s funny.” He didn’t have the strength to really answer you, so he just turned his head towards you. The confusion in his eyes were really noticeable. “Angels are so delusional and depraved, I have to hold back my laughter.” After saying that, you chuckled into his ear, “you’re such a crude and vulgar being, at this point I don’t even think you qualify as an angel. If there anything about you that says ‘graceful’ and ‘divine’? I think not judging by the state you are in.” You made sure to take little break between each sentence, so that he had time registering what you said. In the meantime you’d blow hot air against his ears. “Not even god wants you, you are a mistake, a flaw that shouldn’t exist.” He tensed up after hearing all that, shoulders now raised to his ears. You were clearly degrading him and making fun of him, so why was he so dazzled by your voice? As if you were hypnotising him, is there anything he could do in this situation?

“Don’t even try to hide it, you are unwanted. Isn’t it such an honour that I’m still willing to spend my precious time with you?” You said, still grinning from ear to ear. Then you used your fingers to force his eye open, whispering agin, “Hey, Raphael, you don’t deserve happiness. Please be unhappy a lot, so that I can be happy.”

“…what?” He seemed a bit confused, clearly finding it hard to come to terms with what you said. How could he anyway? He really didn’t want to believe your words, yet they sounded like a prayer, like a prophesy that was deciding over his fate. “You are all alone with no one to depend on. You are disposable and worthless. I’m the only one you have.” It felt like needled were poking at his heart, no, they were stabbing it. His head was empty, only the words you uttered were ringing in his ears. “Why don’t you come down to hell, heaven is too good for you. You don’t deserve that, just like how you don’t deserve your position.” Your voice was calm the entire time, though it somewhat drifted into being exited. Raphael thought about it and asked in a weak voice, “what is it you want me to do…?” “Your wings, I want them. Show me your wings.”

“…” silence. He didn’t hear anything. Then a beeping noise rang in his ears, unwilling to leave him alone. “Ah, ah.. ugh- ah, hah..haha…” he laughed. His body shook as he did. All he thought was, ‘god, what should I do?’ A wave of nausea washed over him, as if his brain was being cooked. “That’s sick, you know the wings are an angels pride? It’s a gift from our beloved god!” “Exactly, you don’t really deserve that now do you?” Ah… does he really have to answer that question? You knew the answer to it anyway. His heartbeat went faster, the urge to puke came back and he felt sick. He felt horrible, downright awful. It was becoming unbearable, that empty void he tried so hard to escape from, that he desperately tried to fill was eating him alive from the inside. He was so deep in thought so that saliva was running down his chin again, adding onto the turmoil.

You hugged him tighter, whispering in a low voice again, “poor thing, such a pitiful thing you are. It’s better to be at rock bottom than fighting for something you’ll never have. Even if god comes back he wouldn’t look at you, you are way too insignificant.” You caressed his cheeks again, showing him a comforting smile which hid your internal motives. “Shut up..” he trembled, “shut up, shut up, please, shut up… stop, stop it- please, stop, stop, stop it…!” He clawed at your shirt, making himself even smaller and curling into a ball.

It was too much. He doesn’t want this anymore. The best would be if he couldn’t feel and think, if he didn’t need to do anything. All he wanted now was to live comfortably, and the only comfort he could find was arching in pain by your hands, while being comforted by the same ones. You were filling that void inside him with poison, and he’d gladly eat every last drop.

Slowly he spread his wings, two pure white things appeared from his back and white feathers started flying around the room. He pressed his face into the crook of your neck, something he was never done with anyone before. Hah, he has never even hugged anyone until now. You reached for his wings, rubbing the base and wrapping your hand around his wing bones, the other one was stroking his hair. How did Michael rip those off so easily? Doesn’t matter, you don’t have to make it pretty. While Raphael clung to you like his life depended on it, you brushed your fingertips over his soft feathers. They really are too good for him, maybe you’ll try and get a clean cut to gift them to andrealphus. He’d love them.

Suddenly something snapped, you could feel it due to the shift of strength. He bit down on your shoulder even more, enough to leave a mark on you too. The most of his voice got muffled by your shoulder. His on the other hand convulsed and trembled. Ah.. it hurts, it hurts.. but it’s worth it, it’s worth it, that’s what he kept telling himself.

“Easier than expected.” You muttered under your breath. It was impossible to pull the entire wing and bones off, which is why you had to break the bones. Raphael was still clenching his teeth and bearing the pain while you started to work on the second one. At this point your hands were completely red, the feathers were also tainted red. More blood stormed out from the newly opened wound, it made everything even more chaotic and bloody than it already was. His shirt, which you cut open earlier, was also no longer white. He was covered in red from head to toes.

The second time went a bit better than the first, because now you had ‘experience’. It was fun. The sound of bone shattering and breaking, the feeling of flesh tearing from under your palms and seeing how much you could do with your own hands. A soft and gentle smile made itself apparent across your face. Raphael screamed in agony, crying, shaking and smiling as he did. He doesn’t even know why he is smiling. Has he finally lost his mind? It’s not a bad feeling, but it is confusing. Haha.

Now that you took everything from him he looked no different than a normal human. Or rather like a hurt animal depending on you. At the rate he was bleeding, he was going to bleed out, yet all you two did was hug each other for different reasons. Somehow both of you didn’t care, you only assured him with, ‘I’ll take you to lucifer’s hospital after this,’ as you kept fumbling with his now red hair. It’s the first time you ever got to enjoy yourself like this, you weren’t going to ever let him go now. Who knows, next time it might be Gabriel whose wings you are holding in your palms. After all, it’s not enough to just keep the bird in a cage, you need to break its wings and keep it shackled, only then it will truly belong to you.

#sub character #sub!character #dom reader #dom!reader #whb #what in hell is bad #rara whb #whb raphael #sub raphael #sub whb

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