#hope you're going to appreciate my long poems and that they're going to make you like jay a little more

[abyssal-author-and-artist]

My blog is generally pretty lighthearted and I stick to reblogging art and fic and fun stuff, but you know what. I feel like I need to say this.

I am a trans teen in the US. I'm seventeen, so too young to have voted. I'm terrified for my life right now. I usually post about college but I'm actually concurrently enrolled in high school still and the kid who sits behind me in first period government is a massive Trump fanboy. I'm going to have to go to high school Monday and talk about the election. I'm going to have to hear my deadname called and hear people in my super conservative high school talk about how happy they are Trump won. Everything is terrifying. I walk outside of my house and I'm scared I'll be shot. Several months ago I promised that I'd kill myself if that bastard won.

He did and I'm still here.

I'm not thriving. I'm not living my best life. I'm barely living. But I'm surviving. I'm coping. I'm trying my goddamned best. It's hard. I want so bad to just go and take as much medication as I can and slit my wrist for good measure and pass away in my sleep. But I'm still here. And I will be here.

I am in so much pain. But I'm living on spite and determination and everything I can scrape together. I know I need support and those around me need support. So consider this a support masterpost.

Support:

First thing you should see if you're a trans person in the US.

Here's a link to the Trevor Project and here's a link to their suicide hotline page. They've already saved my life once before. Please note - they recommend calling if you need immediate support. Donate if you can, please.

This post is both a suicide hotline masterlist and a post mentioning how something feels deeply wrong here with this election.

On the topic of something being wrong, sign this petition. I'm only seventeen but I did this and it might not feel like much but if we couldn't shoot that bastard (I am not pro-gun but I am when it comes to him) then we'll do the next best thing. Here's the link to the petition itself. Make sure to check the post every once in a while - the original petition got taken down and this is important.

I follow a lot of gimmick blogs, so I got to see this post encouraging us to be loud. Because we should be. Because if we die they've won and my mom didn't smoke weed on the steps of the state capital of Colorado to legalize it just so her son could roll over and die.

Here is the Tumblr Hot Beverage Masterpost, as I've taken to calling it. My personal favorites are the London Fog in the replies, earl grey with milk, honey, and vanilla (in the tags), and some additions from me are hot chocolate with peppermint melted into it, earl grey with lavender, caramel apple tea, and really anything else you can think of. Trust me. This post works better than you think.

Read this post if you haven't seen it already. It's half poem, half Tumblr being Tumblr, all wonderful to read.

Things I just like to see:

PM Seymour and Bettina Levy both have shown their support for everyone struggling right now. It might not be much, but I still really appreciate it and seeing support can really help.

The cat with the kind and reassuring face. No other context.

Four panel comic of hope. Because you're more than enough.

Can't find the post where I found this but this is a link to a virtual toy where you can make your own galaxy.

Please. Eat something. Drink a hot beverage. Draw, write, read, knit, sew, sculpt, bake, do something that helps. Reach out to friends, even if they're online friends. Talk to someone you trust. Make vent art. Write vent fics. It doesn't matter what you do as long as it helps.

Do not roll over and die. Live. Live on spite. Live on determination. Live on shitposts and live on heartfelt stories like this one. If you have anything to add to this post please do. Add more resources. Add more love to this post. I know I'm just a guy on the internet saying shit, but I still care about everyone who sees this post.

[scarfacemarston]

If you're still taking Red Dead asks could I plz have some headcanons for Molly? She's just so sad and I love that romantic Irish lass that got in over her head.

Hey! Here ya go. I've written some other Molly one's here, if you're interested. Hope you enjoy!

Expect Molly to write random poems for you when the moment strikes her. Dutch did not appreciate them, but the moment she realized she had an interested reader, the romantic in her turned her attention to you instead.

Loves to dance! We see her dancing with Dutch in quite an intimate way; with you, it's timider as she's new to relationships with women. However, she gains confidence quickly, and it's not long until she's grabbing you by the arm to dance with the cozy fire sparking behind the two of you.

The woman can't cook, and who's surprised? No one. However, she has become quite a good thief. Even if you can't cook, it's bound to be better than half the stuff Pearson makes. She's always trying to find spices she can discretely place into a pouch for the evening.

She's no forager, but if you have the skills, she'd love you to teach her! If you don't know how to forage, she'd love to find a book so you can learn together…..as long as someone like Charles or Hosea approves your findings before using them.

She knows Gaelic and is passionate about keeping the language alive. She'll call you terms like A chara (My treasure) or "A rúnsearc" (My Secret Love.) or phrases like "Is ceol mo chroí thú" (you're the music of my heart"). Gaelic is a beautiful language and very poetic, just like her. She will teach you some if you're truly interested, but she also likes being able to have a language that is her little secret with you. Source here.

Her favorite candy is chocolate-covered strawberries or strawberry bonbons, but she knows they're incredibly rare. However, you always save up (or steal) some for her when you go to town.

She loves tea. One of her love languages is making you a cup of tea after a rough day. She doesn't have a lot of it, but she certainly can get a hold of some of it from time to time.

Molly loves needlepoint art! She had quite an impressive sampler back in Ireland. She has definitely left little surprises like her latest project in your tent. She wouldn't mind learning to crochet gloves or even a blanket.

She can play the piano and loves to sing. She'd sound good with some of the other gang members if she joined in with their songs. It's a shame she's rarely around pianos. It's something she has in common with Abigail.

She can be overprotective and sometimes a little overbearing. She doesn't mean to be; she's just tired of losing people in her life. At least you appreciate it more than some people in the gang….

[be-compromised]

Promptathon 2024 Masterlist

Promptathon 2024 has come to an end! With an impressive grand total of 35 fills, and 535 comments at last check. Thank you to everyone who prompted, created, beta read, commented, cheered, and took part. We hope you had fun! Watch this space for Secret Santa 2o24 sign ups coming VERY soon and maybe a little fun for Halloween…

A promptathon masterlist is now available below and on dreamwidth. If there’s any incorrect or missing information please let me know in a comment to the dreamwidth post and I'll make sure it gets updated. (Our Username Database is a handy way to keep us up to date with your online handles for crossposted masterlists.)

The main links for the masterlist go to the original dreamwidth promptathon comments for archiving, but I've tried my best to also include links to AO3 where I've spotted crossposting. Please feel free to post/share your fills elsewhere! If you're using AO3 we have a handy Be_Compromised Promptathon Collection and you can tag works as be_compromised promptathon and community: be_compromised.

If you still have prompt fills that you’re working on, or feel inspired by prompts now or in the future from any of our community events, please do keep creating. Now that promptathon is over they won’t be included as part of the event or masterlist, but they will always be appreciated :)

And on to the main event…

5 Times Clint and Natasha Cursed the Rain and 1 Time They Didn't | AO3 by @cassiesinsanity (PG; no warnings) Prompt: Tokyo wasn't their first time together in an alley in the rain

After The Threesome | AO3 by @inkvoices (Mature; sex) Prompt: After The Threesome They Both Take You Home by Sue Hyon Bae (poem here)

ain't that the worst thing you've ever heard? | AO3 by @quidnunc-life (Teen; no warnings apply) Prompt: Outsider POV or threesome: Woken up 3:45 by voices yelling outside my window. Turned out to be a couple in formal wear, literally standing in the road, who continued to yell back and forth at each other for quite some time, including [one] with, 'I love you!' and [the other] going back with, 'No, you don't!' Very sad that they can't make it work, but could they please have that conversation not outside our open windows at 4am?!

a masterpiece of a mess | AO3 by @cassiesinsanity (Mature; no warnings apply; Clint/Bucky with past Natasha/Clint and Natasha/Bucky) Prompt:Maybe if he was a little less fuckable we wouldn’t be in this mess.

a masterpiece of a mess (remix edition) | AO3 by @cassiesinsanity (Mature; no warnings apply; Clint/Darcy/Natasha) Prompt:Maybe if he was a little less fuckable we wouldn’t be in this mess.

Another String To Her Bow | AO3 by ultra_fic (G/K; no warnings apply) Prompt: Clint learns Natasha can shoot a bow.

Blank Slate | AO3 by @firlalaith (Teen; a little angsty but nothing bad) Prompt: One of them is de-aged. They can't be turned back, so they're going to have to grow up again the long way. (Your choice as to if they still have their memories or are completely de-aged as in they can’t remember any of their past.) The other has to choose whether to also be de-aged and grow up with them, be their friend (and maybe more if history repeats), or stay an adult and protect them (which might have to be from a distance?). Because they both know all too well how vulnerable children are, and had shitty childhoods, and want better for the person they love this time around.

Blindside | AO3 by @cloud--atlas (Teen; no warnings) Prompt: I'm so obsessed with your ex

Butterflies in Iowa | AO3 by @firlalaith (Teen; Character Death, Depiction of a Suicide, Vormir) Prompt: Lila sees Clint during the test run and the consequences

Daughter of Goose by @alphaflyer (G; no warnings apply) Prompt: In which Liho (or Lucky) turns out to be a Flerken.

desirable (and other adjectives) | AO3 by @cassiesinsanity (G; weight gain) Prompt: Clint refers to it as a bulk cycle. Natasha simply calls it getting fat.

Don't Touch Lola | AO3 by @firlalaith (Teen; no warnings apply) Prompt: Endgame AU/fix-it: when Clint and Natasha show up to fetch the Soul Stone it's not there, it turns out at this point in time that someone else already has it.

Every Hawkeye has a Widow | AO3 by @firlalaith (G) Prompt: (615): Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.

Get by with a little from our friends by @quietlyimplode (Teen/PG13; no warnings apply) Prompt: I can do it with a broken heart

history be rhyming | AO3 by @firlalaith (Teen; no warnings apply) Prompt: “He’s dead. Again.”

Hope in the Rain | AO3 by @quietlyimplode (Teen/PG13; Angst(?)/ Canonical Violence?) Prompt: Tokyo wasn't their first time together in an alley in the rain

I Get By… | AO3 by ultra_fic (G/K; no warnings necessary) Prompt: Kate notices the Black Widow tattoo on Clint's arm

I must have turned bright red (I liked what I saw) | AO3 by @icantopenwaterbottlecaps (Teen; no warnings) Prompt:An adult Natasha signs up to work at a summer camp, as part of her own healing and to give back. Enter Clint Barton, who's been a volunteer there already for a while (or may have similarly been originally ordered to work there like Nat). Everyone knows him, everyone gets on with him, he trains kids in archery and teaches them how to swim and grow in confidence, and he’s just. too. damn. Nice.

In Our Professional Opinion | AO3 by @alphaflyer (Mature; no warnings apply) Prompt: Rating SHIELD safehouses

It Might Be Worth It | AO3 by ultra_fic (Teen; no warnings apply) Prompt: In a world of boys, he's a gentleman

lingering doubts | AO3 by fadedwings (Teen; swearing, nightmares, insomnia, and some angst with a side of cuddling) Prompt: Clint never actually broke entirely free from Loki's control / still had lingering issues until Loki died. Or until the stone that powered the tesseract was destroyed.

Not Another Moment to Waste | AO3 by ultra_fic (Teen; no warnings apply) Prompt: You took the words right out of my mouth (it must’ve been while you were kissing me).

not just another mission | AO3 by fadedwings (Teen; adult language) Prompt: You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi

Out On the Moonlit Floor | AO3 by ultra_fic (G/K; no warnings necessary) Prompt: This is a love story. It must be; it's got kissing in it.

"Paradise Lost" | AO3 by chaed (T; no warnings) Prompt: Superior Iron Man enlists the services of nefarious assassin duo Black Widow and Hawkeye (dark!Clintasha).

Progress | AO3 by @inkvoices (Teen; a character having some anxiety in crowds and being the centre of attention) Prompt: our mutual friend has been talking us up to the other and when we finally meet, we have to tell them that we’ve been in a feud for the last six years

red light | AO3 by @quidnunc-life (Teen) Prompt: Sex work AU

(REMIX: Red Light / Little Red Lies | AO3 by @icantopenwaterbottlecaps  (Teen; no warnings) Prompt: Sex work AU

REMIX: red light / Little Red Lies / ran the red | AO3 by @asterarchers (G; no warnings) Prompt: Sex work AU

she’s gone by @quietlyimplode (Teen; angst) Prompt: When you hold me, it holds me together And you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever

The Ties That Bind by @alphaflyer (Teen; no warnings) Prompt: Clint and Natasha are having the most incredible, amazing first date - what could go wrong?

the words of another | AO3 by @quietlyimplode (Teen/PG13; discussion of mental states) Prompt: Early SHIELD. Natasha hacks into the system and reads what is in her evaluation (Psychologists, Fury, Clint, etc.)

Untitled Fill (100 Word Drabble) by @quietlyimplode  (Teen; angst) Prompt: Non sexual (physical) intimacy

what we do to each other by @poppypickle (T; beginningsofcomplicatedfeelings!fic) Prompt: Don't know what to call this situation, but I know I can't call you mine

you've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks | AO3 by @asterarchers  (Teen and Up; no warnings apply) Prompt: Gentle Ways To Let Him Know You're Dating Each Other

[queenofbaws]

Hello again! I hope this prompt finds you well. I've been meaning to send it in for a while, but life's been... well, it's certainly been. Also, this one is meant for a long prompt weekend, if that's okay. Inspired by the end of the Chrashley cable car series, the subject is... love poems! I'd really like to see Chris stumbling upon something Ashley wrote about him - poems or otherwise - followed by a sweet confession/kiss/all that jazz (pre-relationship for some DELICIOUS feelings realisation).

He didn't notice it right away, because that would've been, y'know, convenient. It just lay there, innocuous to the point of invisibility, until Ashley was gone-gone, far enough into her trip home that there wouldn't be any catching her. Which figured, didn't it?

"Aw dang, I told her to check that she had everything!" Chris groaned as his brain finally registered the battered old notebook. He grabbed it up before either of the twins could (or, worse, Josh), and promptly started paging through it for no reason other than to hide his expression.

Had it been anything else, sure, he could've waited to return it, but...this was Ash's notebook. Her writing notebook. She'd need this ASAP, wouldn't she? Which meant, of course, now he had an actual-factual excuse to stop by her place on his way home. An excuse to see her again.

"Maybe she left it on purpose so she'd get to see you again," Beth droned, draped over her beanbag chair in such a way that she almost hung upside-down from it, her socked feet skating along the wall.

Chris couldn't stop the shiver that ran down his spine at that, and he snapped the notebook shut, whirling on her instead. "Why do you have to do that?!"

"Do what?"

"Be all up in my brain and crap! It's creepy! Spooky! You're spooky, you know that?"

"No one's reading your mind, Cochise," Josh snickered, lazily flipping through streaming services as if there would be anything worth watching. As if there was ever anything worth watching. "Hate to break it to you, my guy, but you're what we in the biz call an open book. Obvious." He made a grab for the notebook and Chris only barely managed to snatch it away. "A hopeless romantic at heart."

He rolled his eyes, then stood, moving from the couch to the loveseat to avoid any further games of keepaway. "Ha ha, you guys are hilarious. Hi. Larious. You know, one of these days someone's gonna start making fun of you the way you make fun of me, and what's gonna happen then?"

"Torture dungeon," Josh answered.

"Throw myself off a cliff," Beth replied.

"...I think it's sweet, for what it's worth," Hannah said from the other side of the room before going back to gnawing on her pencil's eraser.

He did his best to ignore the Washingtons as they did the sibling-thing, teasing each other, poking and prodding and playing their little improv games, turning instead back to the notebook. He riffled through it, appreciating the cramped, slanting scrawl of Ashley's handwriting, and -

Whoa, hang on a second.

"Hey, uh...guys?" he asked after a beat, raising his voice to be heard over them. "What...what're the odds, you think, that Ash likes me?"

He should've known better. He should've. But he opened the door, and God help him, Beth walked through it.

"Well. She hasn't stabbed you yet, despite having, just, countless opportunities, so..."

"Again, I repeat: ha ha. Hilarious. I'm being serious! You don't think...I mean...the chances of her liking me back - like-liking me back - they're not...you don't think..." When he raised his eyes from the notebook that time, the chill returned.

All three Washingtons stared at him as if he were the dumbest creature on God's green earth, their dark eyes pinning him to the spot.

"Cochise," Josh said, slower that time, more thoughtfully. "You care to shed a little light on what you found in there, maybe? Share with the class?"

"Uh," was all he had time to say, and then they were on him. Three against one. He didn't stand a chance.

*****

His heart was in his throat as he rang the doorbell, hands hands nervously moving from his hair to his bag and back again. He couldn't find the right way to stand either, constantly shifting his weight from one foot to the other, and how had he let them talk him into this?!

Just as the urge to flee spiked inside of him, the door clicked open and there was Ashley, looking surprised but otherwise delighted. "Uh, hi?" she laughed, leaning in the doorjamb as she glanced behind him, acting as if she expected Josh to jump out from behind the bushes.

He didn't, of course. That would've been ridiculous.

Him and the twins never would've been able to eavesdrop from that far away - they were standing flush to the garage, just out of her view.

"Hi," Chris said back, trying desperately to remember the scripts they'd had him rehearsing the whole walk over ("You left this, I thought I'd return it, hey by the way, do you maybe want to, oh, I don't know, get dinner tonight?" "Hey, you forgot this at Josh's. I figured you'd need it. I didn't read any of it, I promise, that would've been weird." "Hey, found your love letters, want to get married or something?" Admittedly, some of them had been better than others). They were lost to him, though, gone the instant he saw her looking up at him like that, and what actually came out of his mouth was: "I like you too. A lot."

One of the Washingtons - he couldn't say who without turning, and he couldn't turn, lest he blow up their spot - audibly smacked their forehead. Or one of their siblings' foreheads. Again, he couldn't exactly turn to see.

Ashley blinked, everything about her expression frozen in place. "I - " she started, and then the color went out of her in a sheet, her eyes widening until he swore he could see his reflection in them. "Oh my God, I left my notebook."

"I, uh, yeah," he stammered, "yeah, you, uh, you did."

She slumped against the door frame, her hands coming up to cover her face, and withoout so much as peeking through her fingers, she groaned, "And you read...?"

"Yeah," he continued to stammer, the picture of suaveness and eloquence and suave eloquence. "I mean...yeah. Yeah. Accidentally, sort of. But. Yeah."

"Oooooooooookay," she breathed, her face still hidden. "Okay. Great. Cool. Um. Well. Thanks for. Bringing it back. I guess. I appreciate it. Now, if you don't mind, I think I'm gonna go, uh, find a bridge. To live under. For the rest of my life. Actually." And then her hands dropped. The deer-in-headlights look remained, but some of the color had come back to her cheeks, and, even with his chest and stomach so full of terrified butterflies, he couldn't help thinking the flush suited her. "Wait," she said as if it had only just occurred to her. "You...you like...me...too?"

He swallowed hard, but he was in it now. Even if he tried to run, it was a little too easy to imagine the Washingtons taking him down before he made it to the mailbox. Better he do it on his own terms.

"A lot," he repeated. "Like, uh, a lot, and, uh, for a long time, and, I-I mean, I don't maybe have a notebook full of love letters to prove that, but, uh, I could...I could try?" It occurred to him then, again, conveniently, that he hadn't actually given her the notebook back yet, so he awkwardly fumbled with the closure of his bag, rummaging around until he found the spiral of its spine, pulling it out and holding it towards her like an offering. "I could try," he said again, his throat tight.

She watched him for a long while, or at least so it seemed, her eyes never once flitting to the notebook. After what felt like an eternity, she reached out to take it, their fingers brushing, and a shy, tentative smile pulled at her lips. "Do you...want to come inside, maybe?"

"I, uh...yeah. Yeah," he laughed, the sound anxious in his own ears.

"Can we come in too?" Josh called from the garage, causing him and Ashley both to jump out of their skin. "I have got to see where this Hallmark movie goes from here!"

[njmweb]

this is going to be super corny ok !

@heartjnh - (maybe you'll see this maybe not) god where do i even start . you are quite literally the best thing that happened to me and i cannot stress enough on that . i was acc so happy when we could finally talk yesterday n ive been thinking of our conversation still . you're so cute adorable amazing n everything n you're always there to support me no matter what n i feel so happy knowing that i have you , really . we've known each other for a while now n i often still read our texts from when we first talked . you're all i asked for n youre js so perfect . from our stupid inside jokes to js being an amazing person i can rely on , you're everything . i hate being mushy but i genuinely love making things for you . i love writing poems for you , i love drawing you n me , i love sending you big ass messages on how much i love you , i love getting into media you like js so i can go crazy over it w you (i started w little women for you. Btw) , i love sending you pretty pictures , i love seeing cute things in red cuz they're your favourite colour . this is getting super long but im genuinely over the moon for you n i really really really dont know what I'd do without you . you have the most special place in my heart n trust me when i say no one has even come close to being as special as you are . I love you .

(happy 669 days .. LMFA)

to the sweetest angel, my baby, the jark to my jarchan 💞

@y-vna - OOOHHH MY GOOOOOD I LOVE TALKING WITH YOU you literally make my day 1000000 times better ISTG YOU'RE THE SWEETEST PERSON EVER . reading your message made me tear up n im acc so glad we met even though i dont even know what i did to deserve you like ☹️☹️ i will remember you forever . plz dont stop sending messages like these i genuinely cherish them . so much you're one of the biggest reasons i open tumblr everyday im not even kidding . every interaction between us makes me smile sm n i always get feel so happy everytime you tag me 💓💓💓 im so happy im a person you can come to for help . i hope we continue to get to know each other better ^__^ i love you sosoosos much i cant even put it into words Ookk <33333 /p

@pupicito - LITERALLY MIY FAVOURITE PERSON ON THIS APP EVER . I loveeee talking to you smmmmm n you're so nice you always tag me in silly events in which we can participate together which means sososo much to me 💞 you never fail to make me laugh n i love getting texts from u !!!!! i hope we get to talk more n be silly when we're both not so busy i loev you !!! /p the best carat on this app !!!!!! you've been here since my tzugore era n i appreciate you supporting me up to this point <33333

@silvrrz - i dont even know how we met but like ??? you're one of my fav people ever and i love waking up every day knowing i get to see n be silly w you . i have one of theee best memories ever with you and i would kill to experience them for the first time again . n the way you dont even like skinship but you willingly let me hug and cry into your shoulder on our sports meet says sm abt you . i love every minute of our time together n i love going out to diff places n window shopping w you its genuinely my fav thing ever !!!! after all of our exams are done i hope u me isa n elili can hang out together again <3

@jdopes-recorder - you're a little too obsessed with me but ok 😒 i hope we stay friends for a really long time though ! im so glad you feel comfortable enough to open up to me n im so glad i could be of some help . i love spending time together n we definitely havent spent enough 👎🏼👎🏼 you're also one of my fav ppl ever n even though you barely talk to me i still like getting texts n voice mails from you i Guess . thank you for being the loveliest wife 🎀 (although a shitty co parent ....) n i hope we still can talk frequently in college bc if not i will show up in your house bc of how much ill miss you (although ill never admit that.)

being madly in love with someone platonically is so ridiculous. hey man i think about you all the time. i wish you were here right now. talking to you makes me indescribably happy. i miss you. honestly what the hell

[onemattwolf]

Forward.

I wish my life wasn't so weird.

[This will be a poem. Almost]

*

I didn't (and still don't) really have a choice in that weirdness, though.

Both my parents are weird.

They were (are) the black sheep in their respective families.

They, understandably, brought forth 4 more black sleep.

It was just my luck that I managed to come out the black sheep amongst the black sheep.

*

I do think that I actually navigate the world outside of the family a lot better than they do.

They found their niche within the family. Meaning, there's less motivation to branch out as they already had a cozy place to fall back to.

I did not have that.

So I branched out early, and I did it hard. I got bruised lots, because many did not like how weird I was, or, they liked me, but not my weird family.

But.

I kept trying because it felt like I had no other options.

*

And, even though it was hard, it benefited me in the long run. I can navigate many different social environments, befriend people from most (but not all—I'm learning how to spot the real assholes early, and stay away from them) walks of life.

*

I'm forming the healthiest social connections I have ever had. I'm learning to walk away from the interpersonal relationships that turn out to not actually be benefiting any party involved.

I'm also learning to notice when a relationship is, actually, healthy.

And, if it turns out to not be healthy, at least not currently, I'm learning how to notice when it's worth the work to try and get it there. Meaning,

I'm learning to stay; i'm learning to try.

But,

I'm also learning how to notice when I'm the only one putting in that sort of effort; I'm learning to be upfront about it when I see it. I'm learning to openly state my wants and reasonings; to advocate for collaboration and accommodation.

And,

I'm learning to leave when that's not being readily given; If even the simplest requests are being denied with little to no reasoning, that's not worth my pain.

*

What I'm mainly learning, is to use the love I have for myself to better navigate my social world.

And,

It's doing me good :)

*

My family though. They aren't doing that. Yes, they are getting better; they are learning.

That's true,

and it gives me hope for their futures.

It gives me hope that I, not only don't, but also won't, always need to be there to catch them when they fall (especially when they only learnt to appreciate all the effort I was putting into their care, after I stopped providing it).

So. it's good.

*

But...

There's something... Hard.

Oh, more than that.

There's something, absolutely. Entirely.

Shattering.

Who'd tell you, over and over, since the day you were old enough to begin grasping the meaning of their words,

About seeing the people that always made you feel lesser, and, not just "made you feel," the people who'd SAY THAT TO YOUR FACE.

That they were smarter than you in all aspects,

That you are always going to be the fuck-up in the family, and always need them to take care of you,

(and they're always going to punish you for "making" them do that, and never admit that their "care" always, always, made you worse).

And now.

You're seeing them be the fuck up. You're seeing them make stupid choices. make stupid mistakes. Choices and mistakes that you'd learnt to not make a decade prior.

And what do you do with that knowledge?? How do you watch that??

Knowing, that even though they are finally starting to respect you, to actually see you,

They aren't willing to [openly] take your help, or your advice, because then they'd have to admit to themselves that they've always been wrong about you.

Meaning. They'd then have to face all the harm they've done to you.

*

And.

oh...

They are seeing it anyways. without you doing anything to make them (as that never worked). They are seeing it.

I see the pain in their eyes when they look at me now. I can also see that they're trying to pull the wool back over their eyes,

But there's too many moth-eaten holes in the wool now. And,

Occasionally, they will still even lash out at me, trying to make me take all of the pain away like I use to.

I love myself too much to do that for them anymore.

Not just that: I love THEM too much to do that for them anymore.

It wasn't actually helping them all these years.

It was enabling them.

They weren't learning to do things for themselves. I'd just take care of them.

I know that I needed to stop; i'm glad that I did.

And. So I don't feel like I've just abandoned them (Because I still love them and I know they still love me),

I'm learning how to give them some level of support, still, but done in such a way where they are actually learning and growing, and doing most of the work by themselves. and, doing it in such a way where they can not just see, but also appreciate, the effort I'm putting in. And, most importantly, I'm learning to only do that when I'm healthy enough for it to be safe.

And,

They are actually returning the favour in ways I never thought possible.

Seeing them when they flounder, though. I'm still not sure how to take it. So I sometimes look away.

*

But. again. Even when I turn away, it doesn't change the fact that they're seeing it all, anyways. They're seeing it FOR me, even. They're having to. They're even wanting to. And it makes me feel TERRIBLE and I DON'T KNOW WHY.

Isn't this what I always wanted, when I first realized how fucked their treatment of me was?? Didn't I want some form of recompense?? An apology from the people who are all incapable of apologizing??

(It was depressing to discover that it's not just me they are incapable of apologizing to. They all just don't know how to properly apologize, period.

They never learnt the skill from eachother. They made me become the one who knew how to apologize in the family, so they wouldn't have to learn the skill for themselves. So, they sure as hell won't take lessons from me. Because in their eyes, that's one more guilt to face).

*

So. After all of that.

After all the pain, and grief, and fighting, and the (seemingly) fruitless determination to fix this, to help them help me: To help us.

After getting kicked down over and over again, left to pull myself back up, brush myself off. Alone (always alone),

What am I left with?

Where do I go from here?

*

Forward.

That's where. Always forward.

Don't look back; as in, don't let them pull you back.

Find a safe place to examine it. To learn. To Grow. To Heal.

Don't stop reflecting on your past, though, because that's the only way you can not just heal, but also grow from it.

Leave it behind; but don't deny it.

And then let it go.

All the while, You keep going forward.

All the while, You always keep remembering.

That I love you.

- Matt

*

[slytherpuff98]

Thank you really much to @thecursedzerin and @enraged-fangirl-and-co for sending me these asks ❤❤❤ I hope I answered them in an acceptable English 😅😅😅

22. Have they any interest in dating? Have they a crush on someone? How do you think this someone feel about them?

I think this meme I made summaries perfectly Jay's entire love life, because she can't stop herself from developing a crush on every single blonde guy she meets and most of these boys have no interest in dating her whatsoever. It's a real problem for her, especially since she constantly risks to have her judgement clouded by it even if she is well aware of that. Everyone knows about it and became even more evident when Jay started acting strange towards Edmund Quincy ( belongs to @hey-jacob-its-me ), with whom she has a strong salty rivalry, just because someone turned his hair blonde for fun by using colovaria: the two of them faced the most awkward and long hours of their lives that day. In fact, even though she might hate that person, Jay will unfortunately end up feeling attracted by them anyway.

Edmund: << Listen Jay, I know the blonde hair thing was probably awkward for you, but I just want to say right now so there are no confusions that im not interested in you. It's nothing personal, I'm just gay. >>

Jay: << ... >>

Edmund: << Sophie wrote that down for me... Actually, it is personal, I can't stand you. >>

( Yes, Dee, I saved that because I almost spit out my own heart by laughing too hard 😂😂😂 )

The only thing that stops her from pursuing a romantic interest in these boys is for these same boys to be already in an happy and healthy relationship or not being interested in dating in the first place: Jay would never put herself between two people who love each other or force someone to date her, never.

As you can imagine, Jay is currently crushing over a lot of guys at the same time, but she indeed has someone towards which she is feeling even more interested day after day: I'm talking about Cillian Casement ( belongs to @iri-lynx ). They're both in the Theatre Club, so they hangout a lot "as friends", because that's how Cillian's see their relationship, even if Jay's never had any problem acting flirtatious towards him in any place and at any time: everyone knows she is trying really hard to get his attention, but Cillian is just too pure and naive to get what's going on.

Cillian: " What are you talking about? Jay doesn't have a crush on me. "

Lyx: " Yes, she does. "

Val: " Yes, she does. "

Jay: " Yes, I do. "

My boy Finn has no interest in dating at all because his "one and only true love" is and will always be food and nothing more.

27. How do they change throughout their school years?

( This is going to be really hard to answer because I'd like not to spoiler the "Arc" I'm working on for Jay. Fortunately most of it should be settled after her school years, so there shouldn't be problems... )

Jay started attending Hogwarts like a really "chill out" kid despite having nearly died in her animagus form by the hand of an hunter: that experience, not by any chance, scarred her both physically and mentally making it difficult for her to trust even in those most close to her. Even if most of her childhood friends are sorted in other houses, like Logan ( belongs to @phyl-the-gryffinclaw ), she has no problems keeping herself in contact with them and befriend new people at the same time, mostly from Slytherin like Lyx ( belongs @jadeowl19 ).

Jay was already a sort of "child prodigy", especially when it came to Transfiguration and Charms, but started building a strong reputation only after her third year, when she started manifesting that vindictive and competitive side of her the most: as I said in another post, she is at the same time a "bully" and a "hero", since she feels no remorse while punishing people who dared to step in her way or annoy someone she cares about. These are also the years in which she started attending the Theatre Club and met the kids from Beauxbaton.

Under Slughorn suggestion, Jay was chosen to be Prefect of the house of Slytherin due to her grades and strong personality, despite she was known for testing a lot of new spells and curses on those she didn't like just for fun: cause of this, she "had" to develop a more mature and responsible attitude in order to put all those troublemakers from her house in line. Another one she has to care about during these years is, of course, her little brother, who, as the "lazy butt" he is, prefers to avoid confrontations and have his own sister deal with all his messes.

Everything changed on a fateful DADA lesson, when, despite her cousin's advices, she decided to face her greatest fear under the form of a boggart, failing miserably and humiliating her own self in front of the entire class. Never wanting to have to deal with a situation like that again, Jay decided to persevere in her research for ultimate knowledge and magic: the only two things that, in her opinion, would've finally guaranteed her the protection she was seeking. Unfortunately, this made her grow colder towards people, closer to her or not, day after day, spending most of her time reading and looking for new forms of magic in the library and testing them in secret. Whenever asked by a friend or a member of her own family if something wasn't right or why she was avoiding them, Jay would deny it and lie to them... But something was wrong... Something was definitely wrong...

About Finn, he actually isn't going to change that much throughout those years of school, if we don't count the physical changes due to growth spurt. The only thing that he is going to learn is not to avoid responsibilities cause of laziness by relying on your older sister: Finn is going to challenge his own self more often and try to participate a little more the school activities cause of this.

[uravichii]

bnha characters as swifties ~

— you convert them into swifties and there's no going back

characters: bakugo katsuki, todoroki shouto, yaoyorozu momo, jirou kyouka

warnings: swearing (bakugo's part)

notes: i don't know what came over me when i decided to write this,, happy 1 year of folklore ig ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

- bakugo katsuki -

katsuki would only know the name 'taylor swift'

he knows she's some famous celebrity, but he has no idea what she's known for : /

when you first introduce him to her discography, you started with her debut album and 'fearless.'

he didn't like it :') he said it was way too cheesy

katsuki also criticized how inaccurate love story was because romeo and juliet didn't end that way : |

he also despised the "shitty country music" pls never play 'our song' when he's nearby, he'll absolutely destroy whatever it is you're playing it from.

you then introduced him to the most successful album, 1989, hoping he'd at least give it a chance

no, he thought it was "hella annoying" 🙄

"YOU'RE TELLING ME 'ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY' AND 'I WISH YOU WOULD' AREN'T THE SAME FUCKING SONG? FUCK OFF."

but you persevere— you introduced more tracks, explained the lyrics to him, and you forced him to watch the reputation stadium tour on netflix.

he won't admit it openly, but he LOVES reputation.

he loves the new sound, the darker theme, and how edgy and angry it is.

his favorite songs are 'i did something bad' and 'don't blame me'

but he also secretly falls asleep to 'new year's day' 🥺

folklore enraged him in a good way,,

"FUCK JAMES, AUGUSTINE DESERVES BETTER."

and for the album red, "FUCK JAKE GYLLENHAAL, TAYLOR DESERVED BETTER."

this man will make a stan twitter account and demand a punk rock era from tswift because katsuki knows the queen is ✨versatile✨ and she can definitely thrive with a new sound like that 😌

- todoroki shouto -

"taylor swift??? what year and class is she in?"

"shouto— "

you need to present this boy a whole powerpoint presentation,, he badly needs it.

at first, he wouldn't mind the lyrics, he pays more attention to how it sounds.

he likes the mellow ones like 'begin again' 'untouchable' and most tracks from both sister albums, 'folklore' and 'evermore'

for some reason, he loved taylor's country music. those were actually the first songs he added to his playlist.

"it's a bop." he says this with a straight face and a monotonous voice 😐

then, you urged him to read and take in the lyrics, and shouto LOVED her as an artist a lot more.

he definitely cried to 'never grow up' :(((( he can't listen to it again though because he's afraid the song will lose its meaning if it was played too much.

he also appreciates 'seven' a lot. 'tolerate it' and 'soon you'll get better' reminded him of his mother :((

also, he always plays 'mad woman' when endeavor's nearby 💀

he turns up the volume when taylor sings, "does she smile... or does she mouth "fuck you forever. ~ "

he'd definitely buy a lot of merch from taylor, and he was very dismayed when the cardigans sold out before he got to buy one :(

he is very excited for red (taylor's version) and even marked november 19th on his calendar >:)

- yaoyorozu momo -

momo listened to taylor swift a lot when she was younger. she loved singing along to the album, 'fearless'

but she eventually phased out from her songs, not for any particular reason though.

she knows the famous singles like 'shake it off' and 'blank space' and she's mostly neutral about it.

so you force her back into the fandom by having her listen to her whole discography >:)

momo LOVES 'folklore' and 'evermore' this woman will break down the lyrics, analyze it, and upload long-ass essays about them.

"the lyrics are just absolutely exquisite! it's amazing how she manages to use a different sound each album and pull it of :)) you have my deepest gratitude, y/n for having me listen to such a beautiful masterpiece!"

she'll never stop gushing over the jamez-betty-augustine drama. she'll definitely be empathetic towards each one, but she does love augustine the most 😔

she understands james too though and loves 'this is me trying' :') she's not sure if she likes the song 'betty' tho 😧

you'd get under a blanket with momo and cry to 'champagne problems' and 'tolerate it' for fun.

"such a heartbreaking story..." she sniffles into a napkin.

momo was also inspired to write poems because of the two sister albums.

i don't think she'd be interested in taylor's dating life, but she does think it's amazing how you're able to witness the artist's growth by just listening to the songs she writes over the years :))

- jirou kyouka -

"of course i know taylor swift..." she looks to the side sheepishly. "i don't really like her."

"😦"

kyouka unfortunately thinks taylor swift is overrated </3

you can't really blame her though because apparently, she only knew her singles 😃 specifically, 'we are never going back together,' 'blank space, 'shake it off,' and 'ME!'

she says they're catchy but she doesn't really understand the hype.

so you make her understand >:)

you start with lover which later became her favorite album along with reputation and red.

she looves 'cruel summer' and she's angry that it wasn't a single in the album, she also loves the song, 'lover' she won't admit it but she thinks it's incredibly sweet and it makes her want to have a lovelife like taylor's.

she also loves 'the man' and she also sings the bridge of 'death by a thousand cuts' EVERYDAY.

kyouka will also make her own covers of taylor's older songs,, she'll make a cover of 'sparks fly' that sounds edgier. it sounds amazing 😌

she'll lie on her bed, and probably cry to 'superstar' thinking how sweet it would be if someone wrote a song about her like that :((

folklore and evermore aren't her favorites, but she adores the writing so much that it influenced hers.

kyouka will write a song for you out of gratitude for making her listen to the queen, miss swift 😌

[salemoleander]

@luigra I appreciate very much your& INCREDIBLY detailed and awesome tags/commentary on this, and wanted to respond to a few things bc they made me go like >:D

#for one‚ the parts of the ''What resembles the Grave but isn't'' poem that are obscured by the images may actually be the most fitting ones

YESSS the whole poem fits, but I had to cover portions up bc it was just Too Long to fit well as anything but a background. But anytime I include things they're picked for the Whole work, and i really appreciate you& as a viewer digging into the individual elements.

#and I& love and appreciate the way you changed the hue of the underlining from red to green. subtle but cute

Noticing all these little intentional choices is making me so gleeful

#I& hope that the Joe Hill quote was chosen not because of the funny author name coincidence but it would be very funny if it was #however I& choose to relate that one the most to the little selfishness of Joe choosing to go to his own base when the world is about to en

The name WAS funny, but also I 100% picked it because of the quote. The idea of being a ghost in your own life, dying and coming back, being so happy to come back that for a moment you're willing to ignore the dying - are all very reflective of early-mid story to me

#I& think the Lithscape sculpture was chosen for its green glass pane resemblance but from what I& looked up her works are intended as- #little scenes from another world? Which could relate to the unknowable reality from beyond the Rift

YOU& RESEARCHED THE INCLUDED ART?? :D!!!!!!! YES the lime caught my eye but also 1. I wanted something that was modern art, 2. I wanted something about transparency/visibility - I edited the image so the glass lets 'get out' be read underneath, and 3. YES the intention behind her work made me want to include it :D

#like the fanart and the spiral rocks drawing are obvious but the study of a man's head?

Tbh I'd had that drawing saved for months as 'This looks like Scar to me' so that's why that's there

#ok. second part. ok so it still catches me& off guard the post about ''not actively suicidal'' tshirt because this was not in the fic at al #except for it WAS because very clearly it FITS it fits so much the attitude and the levels of despair that Joe may not have admitted in wor #but that could be felt throughout the text

YEAH. I really waffled on including that bc it is dark, but that feeling of being scared and trapped and numb is so pervasive, just unsaid. And also it's funny, and it perfectly describes that false front of being alright that everyone sees through but you keep up anyways

#and here you notice that each of the parts of the webweave have not just various specific aesthetics but also represent individual themes #because it's clear the second part is dedicated to Joe's exhaustion and how it affects his relationships so you then notice #that the first part is about his slow descent and reality breaking on him #and to go a little ahead the third part is like a stage of acceptance. it's liminality of late sleepless nights and- #little moments of comfort he found despite the tragedies (tragedy? there was technically just one. it just repeated a lot)

THEMATIC ANALYSIS OF MY PANEL CHOICES I am just a personification of someone yelling 'yippeee' rn. YES YOU& GET IT.

#you don't notice it from image alone but pay attention to the fact that that's no regular broken clock. that's a broken 8-day clock.

YES!!!!!!! I am cheering and clapping rn the amount of investigation you& put into the elements of this is so, so appreciated. I spend days and weeks collecting the right stuff for these, and it's so gratifying to have that effort recognized

#and finally the broken overflowing sink just speaks to me& personally‚ directly. I& have nothing to say on it that isn't obvious but #it's just curious to me& is all.

:D the sink also then has water flowing back into the background sea, where the loop begins again

Thank you& SO MUCH for spending so much thought and care on analyzing & understanding what all was included <3

attempt thirty-three webweave

Made in collaboration w/ @girltimeswithscar for the incredible fic by @theminecraftbee

Sources under readmore!

Pt. 1: What Resembles the Grave but Isn't / Anne Boyer // uselessgaywhovian // Lithscape / Esther Ruiz // Plunge #2 / Joe Hill, Stuart Immonen, Dan McDaid // snailspng // The Storm / James Whistler // cyus-on-the-internet // teaboot // Untitled colored pencil piece / Dan Huston // Studies of a Man's Head / John Singer Sargent

Pt. 2: Davies Adding Machine // It Never Goes Away / Sophie Cabot Black // gravesent // trxnspxrxnts // buddwyer // Illustrations by girltimeswithscar // Neverafter / Siobhan Thompson // snailspng // sofubis // Alcove in the Salon of the Grand Duchess Anna of Mecklenburg-Schwerin / C. Rath

Pt. 3: o'death / Frances Molina // 'If' Medallion // Oriens Tarot Deck / Ambisun (photo by me) // The Gift / Leonard Cohen // Illustration by girltimeswithscar // Meanwhile / Joseph Yaeger // Come the Slumberless to the Land of Nod / Traci Brimhall // 'its so stupid...' text post / katadesmoi // Broken 8-day Clock // Ancient Castle / Georgette Agutte

Pt. 3 Background: Folded Strata, a Great Geological Arch / W. H. Holmes // Aurora Borealis / Frederic Church // Playing with the Colours / W. H. Holmes // Light and Heavenly / Frank Myers // Distortion achieved via the Glitch Art Generator

[sapphirerogers]

When I started writing my first fanfiction (I was 14 or 15), as soon as the first two chapters were done, I immediately made my mother read it. She started with great enthusiasm, but the moment she realised it was fanfiction and "not an actual story", she promptly gave me my laptop back and said "You can't publish fanfiction; this isn't going to get you anywhere, stop writing this."

So of course I had to steal time in the middle of the night to get it done. Which wasn't easy.

There was a period of about a year where I didn't write anything, partly because of this.

Then a year later, I finished not only the 20-chapter story, but also its 20-chapter sequel. Started two more fics. And then another.

Now I write on tumblr. I haven't posted said stories, the later ones aren't even finished yet. But I write. And I enjoy it, and I've gotten better.

Only thing is, I don't have anyone at home to share my excitement with. There's no one to listen to me as I read a paragraph out and ask for feedback. No one to proofread stuff and share my love of writing. My mother has always appreciated good literature and the way I write, but she doesn't know I still write fanfiction. She wouldn't let me if she did.

She also doesn't know that I'm an editor. I can't tell her; she won't understand. It's sad, because it would have been great to discuss all of this with her and have someone at home to encourage me. There isn't.

The point of me ranting all this?

When someone's showing you something they did, or made, it's because they trust and love you enough to want to share their excitement with you, and they're relying on you to support them and push them higher up. So if any of you have friends or siblings who come up to you and tell you they did really good in a game, or just finished a new piece of art, or suddenly wrote a new poem/song, DON'T JUDGE THE ACTUAL CREATION.

You may not like it - that's fine. If they ask for honest feedback, point out the places where they could get better, but don't project your choices onto them. You may not approve of what they're doing, but you should let them grow and enhance their skills [as long as they're not doing something harmful/illegal]. Please keep in mind that they're coming up to you with hope and pride in their hearts.

Don't squash that. It could shut down that creative aspect of their character, and break their faith in you.

Tell them you're proud of them, tell them it looks great/they did great. Match their vibe. Tell them you'd love to see more. It doesn't cost much, but it is a lot for that someone. You have no idea how much brighter you'll make their day.

[a-dragons-journal]

Long ask, feel free to skip.

Hi. If its okay with you, I really need some advice. You don't have to though, I think I'll be alright muddling my way through this myself if you're too busy.

To start off, I want to clarify that I have a Daemon, male, who I love with all my heart but who isn't me. I have had my Daemon for as long as I can remember but just realized today that I'm thylacinekin, or tasmanian-wolfkin, and had a mild panic attack over it before being directed here by a good friend/mutual of mine.

I discovered my otherkinness by finding some thylacine pride icons, remembering that they're extinct, and then being told by my Daemon that they can't be extinct, because I clearly exist. That's when I realised I'd spoken aloud to him and said "we're extinct" instead of "they're extinct", and I had to start crying because it clicked that my kind are gone from the natural world and we won't ever see them again. I will never know my kind beyond what they looked like. I don't even know if the sounds I make are correct.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel beyond the heartbreak that I've carried with me my whole life but only just understood the reason for. I don't know how to reconcile the fact that my kind are gone gone gone while I'm here here here. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to feel like the last of a species. I don't want to be an endling.

Please. If you have any advice... What do I do?

I had to sit on this one for a couple of days trying to think of advice; unfortunately I still don't have much.

You have my deepest sympathies, anon; I've seen your posts in the tag and so you had them before you ever sent this ask. (I actually intended to reblog your Endling poem, both because I appreciate it a great deal and in the interest of signal boosting and raising the chances of another of your kind finding you, and it appears either Tumblr or my computer decided to burp and that never happened.) I know what it is to be (as far as I know) the only one of my species on this earth, but as far as I know my species lives on; it's not the same, I imagine.

I can say this: While I can't recall having met any other thylacines, I have met several members of other extinct species. Some of them might be able to give better advice than I, or at least be able to commiserate. It might be worth trying to find a paleotherian community - I know there was a paleotherian discord server going around a while back, though I've no idea where one might get an invite or whether it's still active - because even if they're not your kind, it may still give you some sense of community and some alleviation of the aloneness. (I have to imagine there's at least one other thylacine therian out there somewhere - but I can't in good conscience advise resting your hopes on finding them, because even if you do it may not be the connection you're looking for.) You may also be able to find some connection with close relatives or species with similar behavior, though I'm aware the species that look closest to thylacines behave very differently (y'all marsupial mammals and your weirdness (affectionate)). You are not fully alone, even if it's not the same.

Grief isn't easy for anyone. It processes differently for everyone. It's all right to grieve, and to allow yourself time for that. The loss may not be fresh, but your understanding of it is, and that's much the same for many people. You have to acknowledge it and breathe through it if you want to begin to heal from it - and you can heal, even if it seems impossible right now. The pain will ease, given time. You honor your People both by mourning their loss and by living the life you have now to its fullest as one of them.

I hope that gives you at least a place to start. (And, of course, if anyone has further advice for anon - or knows of that paleotherian server I vaguely remember or something similar - please feel free to add on in the notes, as always.) May you find peace, path, and People, in whatever order is best for you. <3

[thorniest-rose]

Your writing is like poetry, it's so beautiful. How did you get so good? Share your secrets!

this was such a lovely message to wake up to this morning, thank you so much. I actually feel kinda bashful responding to this because while it's such a lovely compliment I don't really think my writing is that good! At least not as good as I would like it to be. I'm always reading my stuff back and cringing honestly, but maybe a lot of writers are like that.

As far as any advice or secrets go, I'm not sure. I've always been drawn to a very poetic style of writing, I think I said this in response to a previous ask, but I really want people to read my work and feel like they're tasting it rather than reading it, if that makes sense? Like I want you to read something by me and be able to see and smell and feel everything that's happening. As I tend to write about quite intense emotions too, I really want my style to complement that. If I'm writing about a fiery rage or an all-consuming passion, for example, the way I write has to be as vibrant and as evocative as possible to match that intensity. I tend to be a very visual person too, like I think in colours and shapes a lot, so that naturally ebbs into my writing.

Though if anything I'm trying to pare my style back a little, like trimming an overgrown rose bush, because I think I have a tendency be a little too descriptive and dip into purple prose territory, which isn't what I want either!!! I naturally strive for a poeticism and a dreaminess, but I don't want reading my fics to feel like swallowing a mouthful of syrup. Like literally I read my fics back sometimes and I’m like, bitch when will you get to the point??? So I really try to balance the scene setting and the description with the dialogue and try to make sure there’s a good pace... but it’s so hard too because I really want everyone to picture what’s going on exactly the same way I do!!!

I've also taken a lot of inspiration from my favourite writers. As anyone knows who's followed my blog for a while, I'm a huge fan of Angela Carter and the gorgeous way she wrote her stories and novels, so that's very much a benchmark for me (not that I'll ever be as good as her of course!!!). So I'd very much recommend her writing if you haven't read her. Plus I felt very inspired growing up reading dreamy but ominous books like The Virgin Suicides and White Oleander, so they had a big impact on me at a formative age. And poetry itself has been a big influence. I always want to match the imagery and the lucidity of poems when I write.

But honestly practice has been the best thing for my writing! I read things now that I wrote two-three years ago and I can see how much my style has developed over that time. Writing really is a muscle you need to hone, and I think it's only with writing consistently and experimenting and trying to train yourself out of bad habits while also leaning into the little things that make your writing unique, will you start to develop a style that feels like your own and not just an echo or an emulation of someone else's. I'm still very much trying to figure that out myself.

This was so long, but I hope it helps if you're looking for writing advice. And if not and you were just dropping by to give me a sweet compliment, I really appreciate it, this gave me such a smile this morning when I woke up and saw it 💜💜💜

[bookofsloth]

wow WSC looks amazing! i can already tell it's going to be one of my favorite IFs :D

i'd love to know more about the ROs. any fun facts to spare about them? <3

Hi, Anurim! My first ask! How exciting! Ahhh !! Fun facts yes. Thank you. Let me refer to my notes. Whether or not they're fun, I don't know lol but they're character related.

TANIS is occasionally incomprehensible to other fae because of her use of human slang and pop culture references. This includes the main character.

As a young man, HAEMON admired the warrior poets in the stories his mother (a gentle stepmother) told him as a boy. While he's excelled in war, his poetry...well, his poems are awful! If you're lucky, he might even write your bean an ode or two. Also, he's a call of the void kind of guy, often entering risky endeavors and gambling with his own life and fortune all in the hopes of experience some thrill. One of these risks went very, very bad and is the source of his current crestfallen state.

PARTHENIA grew up very sheltered, all cloistered up in a temple from an early age, so she tends to be a misfit fish out of water wherever she goes. Since she's not much more familiar with fae social conventions than human ones, she's one of the few fae who don't find TANIS off putting. She's used to being a bit out of the loop and appreciates being around someone who knows even less than she does. Also, she's honest to a fault.

Paranoia is an important part of surviving life in the Night Court but IPHIGENIA might have the largest stores it (with CASS and LETO close behind). She has an entourage of healers who test for poisons and then visit the disciplinary department whenever she's convinced they're plotting against her. Much of her suspicions are a product of guilt; tampering with clothes and tainting medicinal treatments: these are just a few of the methods she's used in the past. IPHIGENIA also collects carnivorous plants.

On that topic, AIDONEUS raises Nemean Lions and Manticores. He may or may not be designing a pretty sweet labyrinth too. He always leaves his home with extra coins but returns with his pockets emptied, the coins falling into the clutches of a gang of street beggars who are always coincidentally on his route.

LETO "enjoys" operas. He's very intense about them, often writing impassioned letters to company owners. If, say, a character he identified with dies tragically then he and the writer have officially entered an irreconcilable grudge. Also, he's covered in tattoos.

ELARA's aim is unbelievably good and this extends to catching things and navigating new areas. As long as she decides to go somewhere, she can aimlessly wander and then appear there.

P.S You're so sweet!! I'm thriving to meet your expectations and make the best IF I can ♥

[forever--rain]

Hi! For the fanfic ask game, 6, 7, and 28 for a delicate balance and lost in you still! (pairing is zutara ofc)

Hey, darling! I hope you're having a wonderful day!

6. If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day?

I majored in both English and creative writing because I'm a masochist who made the same mistake as John Mulaney by majoring in a language I ALREADY SPOKE and my approach to writing papers/poems/stories/etc. was pretty much "think about it a lot in the weeks leading up to the due date, do nothing about it, then write it all the night before and get an A." And LOOK. I know that's not a healthy approach, okay? I know it's not rational and it shouldn't be done. I do NOT recommend it. It's a habit I'm having to break myself of because it's just not sustainable. HOWEVER. The only reason I started doing that was because I spent literal MONTHS writing a paper for an art history class I had to take in order to meet core requirements (it wasn't even part of my MAJOR or MINOR) and I ended up with a C. A C. I had never gotten a C on a paper before in my LIFE. It destroyed me.

After that I had an attitude of, "Well, if I'm going to spend all this time on a FIFTY PAGE PAPER about ONE MINUSCULE PIECE OF ART only to get a C... Then I'm done. I'm going to half-ass my papers forever because I CAN'T COPE." And then it backfired on me. Every paper/poem/story/etc. that I wrote in a night earned me an A. Which just reinforced what I was doing. So now I can either write thousands of words in one sitting or ten words in a day. There is no in between. And all of this is just a long, unasked for explanation for my actual answer to this question which is:

If I'm REALLY focused? If I'm not procrastinating on Tumblr? If I'm not too drawn into my original works? 🤣 A couple thousand. Though I've been able to crank out a chapter or two of Wind-Songs in the Pines in a day and those usually clock in around 4k.

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

Descriptions are the bane of my existence. Specifically when it comes to settings. I feel like I'm never doing enough to set a scene. But then I try to force more of that into a story and it feels like I'm trying too hard.

28. In [x fic], what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about [pairing]? (I'll definitely answer this question more than once if anyone else wants to ask it!!)

Okay! Happy, post-fic headcanons for A Delicate Balance and Lost In You Still coming right up!

A Delicate Balance

It doesn't take long at all for Katara and Zuko to move in together. They're together maybe four or five months when it happens. And it all arises because Katara realizes she never gave Zuko back his spare key after that first morning. When she goes to give it back to him, he looks at the key, looks at all of her things that have migrated into his place, and is just like, "My lease is almost up. She's here almost every night anyway. Maybe she and I should look for a place together." Of course, he goes about it in the most bumbling way possible and part of him is terrified that Katara only says yes because she wants to get away from Sokka and Suki, the fic's token Gross Couple (affectionate). But then she comes to him with like 30 different places that they could rent (all of which have a dedicated room that he can use as a home office while he gets his business off the ground and east-facing bedroom windows because she knows he loves mornings) and he realizes she's just as excited about it as he is.

Lost In You Still

Oh, gosh! I feel like I've talked about my end of story headcanons for this fic a lot, but there's always more I want to share. Here is a lil one for ya!

Every year, Zuko and Katara make sure to take the kids to celebrate the winter solstice in the Southern Water Tribe. They go not only because they want the kids to appreciate their Water Tribe heritage but also to celebrate their anniversary. And every year until she passes, they ask Kanna to tell the story of Tui and Malina, just as she did at their wedding. And when she's gone, Hakoda willingly steps up to continue the tradition.

Behind the scenes asks!

[lilacerull0]

I am writing you this, as a letter. I took the idea from the lovely @november-rage, to send each other letters. And because I'm so in love with this, and you're my dearest friend, I couldn't not send you one.

Dear Jo,

I hope you're feeling great now, hopefully life is kind to you, serving you the appreciation you deserve, the love and happiness you ought to have.

I'm writing this and my head is full of thoughts, moving so fast that I'm barely able to catch a glimpse. What to talk to you about?

You are wonderful, I feel so lucky, and so grateful to have you as a friend. You are kind, sweet. You have got a pure soul, which has the capacity to hold a whole world between its folds. You embrace everybody and everything. You are supportive, creative and marvelous.

I love too many things about you, I love you. You are an incredible writer, your talent doesn't belong to this world, it has too much beauty to be so. Reading your work over and over again, with the urge to memorize every word, because they are too fascinating, dazzling. My mind's being held captive, I just want to relax, lay and read your stories and poems forever. I want to add more, but I know I couldn't put the amount of admiration I have for your work into words. It'd never be enough.

The garden you've established, welcoming everyone. A safe and a happy place to each soul. I remember my first impression of you and your garden, I instantly thought that you are inspiring and empowering. I knew you were a great human since then.

I'd spend the time, sending you a flower, different shape and color each day, just to make you smile, to make your feel ✨ethereal✨. Which I hope I did even if it was only once.

This is too long, yet not enough. I love your aesthetics, I love your love for Taylor, your love for poetry. I love how positive, super caring and cute you are. You always make me feel better, and I'm so sure it's not only me.

You are the one who I'll go to when I need a new book, song or a movie. When I need calmness, comfort and utter happiness. I love to think that I know you, I love that you see beauty in everything. Or you, yourself make it. You are a piece of Art. Believe me.

I hope you always remain happy, feeling infinite, which is your favorite word, and how you like feeling. I still know. I do not intend to sound weird, I just pay attention way too much. Infinite and ethereal, they're your favorite words that I know so far, I think I will know if there's more, and make sure to use them more often. Stay well, dear. I love you.

With all the love and affection,

Mais.

I'm tearing up in the most wonderful way right now, Mais🥺 You are an incredible human being with so much to offer. To think that I influenced you in any way is a marvellous feeling indeed. The world is a better place because of you and I mean it in the most sincere sense. All of the things that you shared here, in this letter, mean a great deal to me and I'll be sure to come back to this creation whenever I need comfort or a sanctuary in the form of words. I do feel infinite and ethereal right now, all thanks to you! Wishing you a crazy amount of happiness and sunshine and flowers and hugs💖 I seriously need to dedicate my next short story to you🥺

[fancycolours]

hi Lexie :) long story short, I went through my mom’s old record collection yesterday, and despite being completely unfamiliar with their music, I took the 4 Chicago records (the first 3 + Chicago VI) because I've seen you speak so highly of the band and I wanted to give them a chance. I was hoping you could fill me in on these albums a bit before I gave them a listen. what's the general vibe? any specific songs I should pay attention to? go nuts lmao I'd appreciate any insight you may have 🧡

That's so cool! I'm so glad that you've decided to give them a chance. ❤️ They're truly such an amazing band. And very underrated. They deserve so much love. Not many people know about them at all, which shocks me. I had someone message me one time saying that they'd never heard of them before until they followed my blog. I'm so honored that they found out about them through me. If I can turn anybody into a Chicago fan then that’s a huge accomplishment. That’s my goal! To get people more exposed to them and aware that they exist. Just bringing some Chicago into your lives. 😊

(The first three albums are their absolute best! And the fact that they're all double albums is just so outstanding! They all radiate such greatness! Each different from the next. But, they have many other great albums throughout their entire discography too. There are so many amazing songs that are overlooked. Most of their underrated songs are much better than the majority of their biggest hits. You gotta dig deep to find the gems! And boy, do they have a lot of those!)

Chicago Transit Authority:

This album is so bad-ass! It's hard, edgy, and loud. It possesses such raw energy. You can tell they meant business when they laid these tracks down. They played with such confidence and vibrato. There's a heavy incorporation of horns and guitar. Those are the most prominent throughout. All of the instruments on this album are phenomenal though. Anyone who has never heard them before would be blown away by this album. Or even if people who know some of their stuff (but not the early material) give this a listen they'd be shocked at how different it is than any other thing the band has ever done. Nothing after this sounds the same. This album is one of a kind from all the rest. And it's way ahead of its time. They were never able to replicate this exact sound ever again. It's such an amazing debut album. And one of the greatest debut albums of all time in my opinion. “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?”, “Beginnings”, and “Questions 67 & 68″ are the most well known songs/hits from this album. This album was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 2014. Well deserved!

Now for the songs that I recommend:

Introduction

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Beginnings

Questions 67 & 68

Listen

Poem 58

South California Purples

I’m A Man

Liberation

Chicago II:

This is their breakthrough album. And would establish them as a dominant force. A more controlled approach was taken in the making of this record. Much more jazzier vibes than the first. And there's also some classical vibes at one specific part of it. Also some instrumental bits are included. (This is the first time they really experimented with that to a degree.) With the exception of a couple of songs, the horns and guitar are a bit more toned down on this album than the first one where that's what it was primarily based on. The songs on Chicago II are also much more consistent and cohesive as well. If you're looking to get into the band then this would be the perfect album to start with. (Besides CTA.) This is the album that is the most “Chicago” in terms of quality and sound. This album defines them and who they are as musicians. “Make Me Smile”, “Colour My World”, and “25 or 6 to 4″ are the most well known songs/hits from this album and they all made it onto the top ten of the Billboard Hot 100. Impressive. This is my favorite album of theirs and it’s super special to me because it’s the first one that I was introduced to when I was six years old. I'm very grateful for that. What a great introduction to the band. This album along with the first one are the most life changing. I highly recommend that any music lover gives them a listen. You won't be sorry. Both are masterpieces in their own right. The band was on top of the world and nothing could bring them down at that point in time.

Here’s the songs that I recommend:

Movin’ In

The Road

Poem For The People 

In The Country

Wake Up Sunshine

Make Me Smile

Colour My World

Fancy Colours

25 or 6 to 4

Chicago III:

This is more of a freer album. It has a much different sound than the first two. That's good though. A nice change and it showed that they could do more than what they set out to do. This album is really mellow and there's a variety of music styles featured as opposed to the first two where they pretty much had one distinct style that they played in. There's a bit of country vibes. Some funk. And just some abstract things going on. They rely slightly less on the horns and guitar too. They experimented even more with instrumentals to showcase their skills as musicians. Which is extraordinary! That's what blows me away every time I listen to them. And that's what makes them so great! Their musicianship is off the charts! Such an insanely talented bunch of men! They had the chops!

These are the songs that I recommend:

Sing A Mean Tune Kid

Loneliness Is Just A Word

What Else Can I Say

I Don’t Want Your Money

Free

At The Sunrise

Happy ‘Cause I’m Going Home

Mother

Lowdown

Chicago VI:

Most fans have mixed feelings about this one. It's not as strong as the first three albums, but there's still some good tracks on it. It definitely lacks the magic and power that the albums prior to it had. This album is a bit more pop oriented. Very laid back and slow for the most part. It’s also the first album of theirs to be recorded at a new studio located at Caribou Ranch. Where they would also end up recording Chicago VII, Chicago VIII, Chicago X, and Chicago XI as well. “Just You 'N' Me” and “Feelin' Stronger Every Day” are the two most well known songs/hits from this album. They both made it onto the top ten of the Billboard Hot 100.

And these are the songs that I recommend:

Just You ‘N’ Me

What’s This World Comin’ To

Something In This City Changes People

Hollywood

Feelin’ Stronger Every Day

(I’m very thrilled that you asked me to do this! And I really hope that you enjoy listening to the albums! 🤗 Feel free to let me know what you think of them after you do! I’d love to know your thoughts!)