#hope you have a home when you need to
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home | min yoongi
you can hear the urgent noises of the city outside of your windows along with the faint noise of the last raindrops slowly falling - unlike your own, which seems to only fasten their pace.
if it wasn’t for his arms embracing your figure, you swear you could slide down the floor like a puddle of recently melted ice.
“i-i… i don’t know what to d-do-“ you're able to phrase, those being your first words in the last 10 minutes.
“you don’t have to” he softly responds as his hand brushes your hair to the back of your ear, eyes attentively travelling through your face.
then, as you laid there on his lap as he always made you, yoongi starts rocking your body back and forth, pace slower than the bpm’s of a lullaby.
“but i should! i should!” you say as your eyes get drowned by your tears.
he tsk-tks, “you shouldn’t listen to whoever tells you that, even if it’s inside you” he says, his lips now finding you hair with repeated pecks, nose lovingly searching for your shampoo scent. “it’s okay, it's okay. for now, let it out and rest. you’re safe” he murmurs, arms tightening around your figure as you laid your head on his shoulder.
“you’re only saying that because i’m crying. tomorrow, i’ll be just as much of a loser as i am right now” you interject, voice weak and barely reaching his ears by the end as you nervously fiddled with your fingers.
“i’m saying that because it’s true. you’re home. i know you want to stop feeling like that, but you can't control your emotions, so just let it out. it's nothing unusual. and don't talk about yourself like that" he responds, his own fingers caressing yours as he always does when sensing your restless anxiety "if you feel lost, just remind yourself that you're home. i mean that." he keeps going, his voice barely audible if you didn't have your ear right next to his plump lips. "i can be home for you, if you let me” he responds.
“you wanna be home to a loser?”
“you clearly have no idea what a loser is" he says with a weak scoff. yoongi knows for a fact that you have a thing for the dramatic, but he also knows when it was you, someone that put a lot of pressure on themselves, feeling bad because you "should have everything sorted out".
he knew it, because he felt it, too. he knew the feeling like the palm of his hand, and he knew how god-awful it was to not be able to believe it when someone tried to genuinely help. he also knew, that he could use every trick in the book to reaffirm your worth and values, and it still wouldn't make a difference.
he knew you needed comfort, serenity and a place to freely feel. you needed a home.
he had felt that, and he promised to himself he would never let you go there alone. not you, not his home.
"i wanna be home to who is home to me” he says in a much serious and rigid tone, marking his words in your mind like no other sentence ever could, “and i love my home.”
you look up at him, and his eyes are already on yours. yours get wetter and wetter, as his keep going further and further inside your soul until you wrap your arms around his neck and buries your face back on his shoulders.
“look at me," he lifts your chin and goes to softly caress your arms, "not having control of everything is part of life. there’s nothing you can do about it but feel it when it hits you. don’t hold back from yourself, you’re more than safe to express it” he reassures. “you're not alone, and i understand what you're going through, okay?” he nods, searching for a mirrored action from you.
you feel more tears coming, but instead of hiding your face, you nod back.
"we've been there before, and you stood with me until everything got better. we can do this again, okay?” he says, tiny smile appearing on that puffy face of his “i'll be here for the good and for the bad, like you.”
you return the tiny smile and he pecks your nose making exaggerated muac noises, your smile only growing as you try to hide it with a muffled “stooooooop” coming out of your mouth, but he doesn’t let you and instead puts a finger on your cheek, returning your face to his. “look at me” and as you do, he gently pecks your lips, slowly as he possibly could, and you swear you could feel you heart slowing its frantic pace along with his lips.
pulling back, yoongi grins at you and whispers “you will always figure things out, and if any time you don’t feel like doing so, i’m here to help. we’re home, i’m your home. deal?”
you keep your eyes locked and a nod with “deal” comes out.
“good” he sighs, hands caressing your cheeks and eyes staring at your face like you're the only thing in the world as his gummy smile appears.
“you’re the best home i've ever had” he tells you, caressing your knuckles.
you weakly chuckle at his cute remark, your heartbeats slowing down along with you tears until you finally can breathe normally again and your right hand lovingly touches his clothed chest.
“you’re not bad yourself”.
#NEEDED A HUG CAN YOU TELL#min yoongi imagine#min yoongi fluffy#min yoongi angst#suga#bts min yoongi#bts imagine#got carried away listening to life goes on#yoongi yoongi yoongi yoongiiiiiiiii#hope you have a home when you need to#agust d
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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SIMS 4 OC BUILDS: Hokage Retreat
As of right now, the last house of my current sims builds is the home of the Seventh Hokage himself! Mumma Chika and their triplets: Nori, Kyo and Hiro, all live in this modern home, located on the outskirts of the hidden leaf village for a bit of well deserved privacy. Although both incredibly busy, Chika and Kakashi enjoy spending majority of their time in their home - entertaining their rambunctious children!
Lookbooks: Ackermans || Rikihisas || Enatsu || Kyutoku || Olalias || Hatakes || ATLA || Ginnivan || Ishimoto || Drakes
Builds: Saitama Loft || Sunset Cosy Cabin || League of Villains Hideout || Tiny Treehouse || Maritime Villa
Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @greenecreek @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @a-treides @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel @imogenkol
#jess plays the sims#oc: chika hoki#otp: leaves on a branch#the sims#sims 4#sims 4 builds#sims 4 screenshots#my sims#oc sims#can confirm that the triplets have officially been added to their family!#while as hokage - the fam all live in the hokage palace#but I see this as their retirement home honestly#somewhere they can relax in after all their work is done#tho not entirely chilled cus of the kids lmao#build adapted from gallery once more#I have limited time okay#but this one was heavily modified cus it lowkey broke when I added it lmao#like gutting the whole thing and just fitting what I needed#these are so fun tho so I’m hoping you guys are liking them too
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Not that I whole-heartedly believe this, but if it is true, we narrowly avoided a much worse timeline where James had kicked Logan this week and stuck Esteban in his place
#when I tell you the thought of it makes my stomach hurt#I hope it’s not true#but if it is it only makes me hate James more#Logan sargeant#formula one#formula 1#Esteban Ocon#everybody just needs to keep their lineups until the end of the season#or at least until Logan’s third home race#just change in the winter#this is so dramatic for what#Williams isn’t going to move drastically in the standings no matter who their drivers are#and kicking Logan mid-way will do more damage than good#it will alienate so much of their fan base all for them to stay in the bottom three teams#say it with me#”if you have a problem“#”change your fucking car”#the cars shit#don’t make that Logan’s problem
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reigen would be so proud of older mob :,)
#they're out for ramen after work#i need to post my post canon designs......#i love grown mob ToT i like to imagine he'd be like a child psychologist or speech therapist or smth#but he and reigen meet up often still. reigen is v proud and v fond of all of his kids lol#and yes thats a wedding ring#serizawa is at home having catchup dinner with shou#had to look up what a ramen stand looks like but i think i got it accurate?#at least i hope so lol#didn't put any characters tho bc i didnt think i get them to look right esp when i dont know what they mean#mp100#reigen arataka#shigeo kageyama#serirei#mob psycho 100#not ship BTW. ill rip you to shreds
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so
#last night was really so so so fun and it was super hard to get myself to go out? like#in the sense of I really wanted to because I knew it would be fun but I also knew my anxiety was eating me alive#and it would be an obstacle getting through that without alcohol and I need to be … careful#but I got fun drunk and didn’t have too bad of a hangover and didn’t feel super anxious once we got out :#and a different friend wants to make plans for tonight but I am really bad at making plans in advance because sometimes I physically can’t#do things after work bc tired bc neuro disorder and it’s frustrating to my friend with severe control issues#bc she needs to make specific plans like a week out and I’m like erm babe I can’t like#do that? and then if I don’t feel well day of and need to be home she gets (rightfully) frustrated because I’m bailing but it’s#challenging. and you don’t understand unless you live with it.#and it’s frustrating for us both. I don’t want her to think I don’t value her because I do and I force myself out often enough bc I#genuinely feel bad. but it’s so fucking hard sometimes . she also lives sort of far so going from work and having#to drive an hour to her place to then go somewhere and be out like#I’m spent before I even get there#friend I saw last night and I don’t talk consistently but when we do it’s always the same vibe and so fun and we just catch up about life#I feel like when I see my other friends they have things to always talk about because they’re in a discord call almost every night#I don’t have the energy!!!!!!!!!! like I’m so sorry that’s so much for me#idk she isn’t answering me now but if she wants to do something I need to know in the next hr bc if not I’m literally going to bed#I love her but there’s a disconnect between us rn and I don’t know how to mend that gap#but I do love her friendship so I’m just like. sigh#idk it would be different if she was closer and I know that#I hope getting back on medication helps get me being more social again. I’m just so tired this week that speaking is hard lol
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Ride 738: Towards to scorching hot stage!!
Pag 1
The climax of the training camp arc!!
Pag 2
The incandescent battle is starting!!
Sohoku, towards the Inter High!!
Pag 3
4: It's so hot
It's so hot suddenly!!
I can't do this anymore, I'll take a two hours break
I'm your buddy, so I'l also take a two hours break!!
5: The weather on the third day of training camp....
Pag 4
1: is scorching hot
Pag 5
3: Kakaka it's pouring out!!
Pouring out!!
5: Sweat!!
Pag 6
1: Finding shade and running like this seriously exhausts our stamina!!
2: Yeah!!
5: Murakamii!!
Pag 7
1: Yessir!
3: Thanks!!
Thank you!!
Pag 8
1: Kaa....!! Cold water feels so good...!!
Hyaaa.... it works..!!
2: The standard spots to pour water on yourself are face, head, and back, Onoda-kun
Putting it in yous stomach also feels so good, but
3: In one shot you'll upset your stomach and then a toilet hell will await you
O-okay!! Scary...
4: Alright, we're refreshed!! Let's raise the pace again, Onoda-kun!!
Okay!!
Pag 9
1: Naruko-san....
3: Incredible... the senpais aren't taking a break and keep running
Despite how hot it is...
4: By the way, have you noticed?
Huh?
Their jerseys
5: Since this training camp started, the senpais
6: have been wearing long-sleeved jerseys
Pag 10
1: Why!? Ah! It's true, Imaizumi-san... and Kaburagi-san too
They should just take it off, since it's so hot
2: Is it a way of training?
Like carrying a burden to power up?
A heavy burden
3: I'm sorry... my left knee hurts
Is that so?
4: I was overly optimistic... I thought that if I did a good job.... and succeed in this training camp, then I'd be one of the six members
But....
5: To overcome everything and keep fighting, you need physical preparation
6: Just being cunning won't open the way
7: I understand, I accept your retiring
But
Pag 11
1: You'll work behind the scenes for the last two days
There's a lot of work to do behind the scenes, and this time you'll do it with all your strength!!
3: If you want to become stronger, you have to study and watch other run, too
Observe, discover. There are things you can only discover when you're not pedaling
4: Not a single second is a moment you can't learn!!
5: It might be the first time I meet such an intense senpai...
“Learn”.... Naruko-san....
6: I want to become stronger, I'll do my best
Let's add ice
7: The jerseys have a meaning too, I'm sure
It's not just a careless burden
Pag 12
1: There's something!!
Human bodis have the ability to adapt
2: From spring to summer
3: From autumn to winter, we meet seasonal changes and adapt
We do it two times a year
4: The body naturally creates its own system to face the hot and cold according to the climate
5: Just like during summer the leaves grow green and thickly
6: While during winter the leaves fall
7: You can't see it with your eyes, bt our skin, bones, sweat glands, and muscles, go through dramatic changes
Pag 13
1: The proof is that, during summer, 10° are so cold you feel like freezing, but during winter it feels warm
2: To force that adaptation faster, that's the meaning of these long-sleeved jerseys!!
3: Adapting takes time. So we're adapting to heat earlier to prepare for the summer Inter High!! Our bodies too!!
4: Yeah!!
5: After all, this year's summer is gonna be our third Inter High!!
Pag 16
3: Kyushu, Kumamoto Prefecture, Mount Aso
Pag 17
1: Do you know? A long time ago.... they say that here, as far as your eyes could see, there was a hugh volcano surrounding this scenery
2: Huh, really?
When humans still hunted with stone tools
3: There were four big explosions and the mountain collapsed in the magma pit
4: With a diameter of 25km, it's the largest caldera in the world.... and it made this outer rim of the crater
So, the cities, roads, and fields we can see from here, inside the muntain?
Yeah
Pag 18
1: I can feel it, somehow....
The breath of the earth
2: With my whole body... yon!!
3: Fou!! Really!? I can only see this huge scenery....
!! No, I can feel it...!! Fou
Pag 19
1: This splendid scenery and steep slopes
2: This magnificent nature
3: An unpaved side road that appears from time to time
4: We came to.... inspect the race's course
5: and chose a “road bike”, but
6: Ah!! I get it!! I was thinking about it now!!
7: I wish we had bought our “mountain bikes”, yon!!
Fou!!
There's so many roads that make me want to run!!
I totally get that!!
Pag 20
1: Our third and last Inter High will be in the scorching hot Kyushu!! In the “land of fire”, Kumamoto
2: Mount Aso
Pag 21
1: will be our stage!!
Pag 22
1: It's gonna be a hot one, this Inter High!!
2: It's burning up
3: Our final last stage
Pag 23
1: Red like magma!!
2: Challenge!! The last Inter High!!
Yes!!
Yeah!!
Pag 24
2: At CSP, Sohoku High School racing team's training camp is 3 / 4 done
Everyone is riding at their buddy's pace
3: Many of the first and second years retired, but even so, the third day ended without any incident
4: Currently, there are 8 people in the top ranking who could be chosen as Inter High members
There's only the last day
5: The fourth day
#yowamushi pedal#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 738#helloooo we're baaaack!!! god how i've missed yowapeda :') i was forgetting who i am without it for the past 3 weeks#i hope sensei had a good rest tho! just like i did lmao#anyway! literally nothing happens in this chapter lmao but!! gotta love the way sensei makes Kiji show up even when theres no need#he's showing up more than manami and midosuji at this point xD sensei created him and decided he never wanted to let him go#and honestly??? yes yes sensei pls keep going we love to see it we're also very much in love with Kiji Kyuui thank you#if you ever doubted that kiji will have a great role in the ih then think again bc watanabe will show him more than he'll show sohoku#the spotlight is all his#btw i also love what naruko said to murakami! nothing better than to see our boys act like the senpai they now are!#i loved how he basically said 'you have to practice you cant just be a little shit and hope for the best' lmao#(btw i know i have some asks and messages i still havent replied to! but i havent been home and tbh i havent been on tumblr much#but i promise ill reply to everything tomorrow!)
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pretty minor thing to think about, but i find it interesting how chapter 7 is the first chapter illustration to show chizuutan as chizuru (instead of chuutan)
like, i get it’s a flashback chapter, but we hardly got to see her as chizuru in the previous few chapters thus far… maybe we’ll get to see more of her as her true self after the hiyori fight/make up? only future chapters may tell, i guess…
#there’s like 5 weeks to go till chapter 6 is released into the rest of the world and i m n o t r e a d y—#man. chapter 5 still manages to ruin my mood no matter how many times i read it… man.#i was having so much fun with renren and concon and the 3 stooges and th e n.#imagine putting on a (somewhat) perfect/cute act to hide your true self because you know you’re unlovable the way you are#but then someone else runs along and screws up every step of the way without putting on any airs and is adored for it anyway…#i imagine chapter 6 will be much worse. especially since the start of the flashback begins there…#i sincerely hope the flashback ends in chapter 7 bc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#though. considering where we are now in the series. i think there’s a chance that vol 2 will come out at the end of december#ch 8 will prolly start to drop somewhere around the later half of november so it seems about right…#b u t if there’s the preorder bonus manga for vol 2 in dec can we have santa girl chuutan in it p l s—#i think we’ll need an incredibly cute bonus feature to lift the mood from whatever the heck’s going on with vol 2’s chapters#bc. idk. im sensing some self hatred with this one chizuchan… it’s as though she can only love herself if she’s dolled up as chuutan…#like. even in her aizo self-insert delusions she’s thinking of herself as chuutan… maybe im reading too much into this. hm.#but then again she even puts on makeup when she’s at home in her own room…#w a i t a sec what if this wack behaviour only came about bc of what’s about to be revealed in the flashbacks. wait. no. w h a t if—#i hope manga chizuchan will be able to love herself properly soon… we all love you chizuchan~~~~~~~~~~#this. too. is our oshi no—#dammit why is something set in the same universe as the [redacted] anime making me feel things??? i hate itttttttttt#anyways. wh. what if one of the h10w turns out to be an anime adaptation of the chizuchan manga#and they’re just waiting on. like. the final vol to announce it.#it’d make the most sense for an anime series at this point… since chizuchan is marketable and it’s set in the same anime verse#so there’s no inconsistencies to retcon and such…#but!!!! most importantly!!!!!! we’d be able to see animated renren and concon!!!!!!!#…but something like this will only appear in my delusions huh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#mousou dake no kawaikute gomen anime#ok that’s enough thinking for the day; back to kimikawaii mv g o o d b y e~~~~#chizuutan chizpost
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🕸🎀˚.⁺⊹
#so i have an appt. to the psychiatric department for personality disorders tmrw...#and like i tried sending a self referral to them last year lmao#and they only said that heyyy you're doing amazing sweetie you are high functioning 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻#then i've ben to the health care center and since they think they cant treat me bc it's too severe they've sent referrals to other places#which have all declined me... so they also sent one to the psychiatric who sent a referral to this pd department#who that time also said that they can't accept me#so the therapist at the health care center like idk exactly but she sent a report on how they didnt handl my case properly#which made them call on me for an evalutation appt.#but i have 0 hopes. i honestly think the entire psych care is fucking lame and bullshit#i highly doubt they're even equipped to treat personality disorders#& even if they are theire budgetis getting cut bc ppl love having rightists ruling the government .... which means no funds for healthcare#anyway. PLUS it's a man.... -_- which reducuses my chances of being taken seriously even more...#i also hate talking to male therapists/psychiatrists... no fucking thanks. but i have to </3#i just really dont wanna go. like im gonna have to put energy into trying to argue for my right for treatment. w ppl who should inferstand#UNDERSTAND* i hate typing on my ipad ffs. they should understand my personality disorders..#bit health care proffessionals are horrible ppl and dont give a fuck abt their patients lol. so they're only condescending and rude 🤢🤮#i hate being in these environments bc everyone treats u like shit. the receptionists are so fkn rude and almost outright mean and insulting#the doctors and therapists and psychiatrists are all bullies who look down on u and make u feel small and worthless#so im really dreading it... but im also at my wit's end. i am missing out on my entire life. im desperate for help#even if i wholeheartedly believe that these worthless wastes of space wont give me any treatment i'll still need to go and try#then ig i'll just have to keep pestering the healthcare system. i might wventually even have to start going to the psych. ER so they put#that on my records and like idk. that costs money tho. plus from everyone i've heard from...#being at a psych ER esp when your situation isnt dire is awful and hell#my cousin who had been ther after a sui attempt had said that it 'scared him straight'#and that it was so terrible that he did everything to get back home as soon as possible and do whatever to never end up there again#so yuh... i'd rather not!#i was supposed to (my own decision) to write a list with ALL my symptoms and bring and be like LOOK MONGREL!!!#but since i suffer from avpd...... i havent. i procrastinated and now it's too late whoopsie. i'll just have to wing it fuckkkk 🥴#ofc it also has to be 8.45 .. so early in the morning for me im so mad ahhhhh i dont wanna go i am throwing up and screaming#but atp i'd have to pay $35 myself for not going so that will motivate me enough to force myself to go
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it’s like. i love being trans. and also if there was a loving god he wouldn’t do this to me
#usually my mental illness is emotional Nothingness. when i take wellbutrin i can feel again!#and when the wellbutrin loses efficacy i keep the feeling but lose the good ones so i just unlock Regular Depression. which fucking Sucks#and a couple weeks ago i ran out of t gel and it is a controlled substance so they wouldn’t give me my refill until the full 60 days were up#which meant i had to be off t for like a week. and i was so so hopeful that it wouldn’t do anything to me.#but it restarted my cycle so i’m bleeding rn. and it is so fucking awful#it Hurts and it feels Humiliating and Wrong#cramps and stomach issues And dysphoria and bleeding. nothing more evil to do to me right now#and it’s worse cause i was done with that. i literally GOT RID OF IT. I PUT THE WORK IN. I WAS FREE.#but i couldn’t have my medicine and now i no longer control my own body. horrifying. so horrifying#wore a kind of ill fitting binder today too and it kickstarted Other dysphoria on the drive home so. messed up rn.#i just want to be able to live my life man. i want to have a body that looks and functions like me#and can feel things and do things#and doesn’t subject me to hurt in multiple multiple ways. that would be really cool.#genuinely it does not fucking matter if god loves me. cause if this is what i go through when he loves me#then i don’t want his fucking love.#i hope god kills himself actually#i want to wake up and just be able to put a shirt on and leave the house. can you imagine a fucking world#gonna try nd sleep for like five minutes and then go to dinner with my mom. i can be okay. i can be stronger than my struggles#i just need to be really fucking angry with god.#great time to be reading paradise lost#valentine notes
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.
#i didn't think i would love going to the lab so much i prefer to wear a mask for the whole day than to stay home#you know what that is? growth and the right people#now i don't want to 🦉 but it's gonna be the first time in a really long time that I'll see the same people every day for a whole year#i hope I'm gonna be able to build something stable and strong because i desperately need it rg#*rn#only downside is we all live really far away from each other so hanging out outside the lab will be challenging#but we'll see#also doing you little reactions and tlc and nmr is sooo funny you get to measure things and use funny little machines#and get frustrated when things go wrong and sometimes the numbers won't make any sense and you'll color your tlc to see amines or benzile#or hydroxile groups and you'll be like omg look at it!!!!#and you'll evaporate your solvent and fight with the machine but you'll have nice little white freckles of something and you'll be so happy#you can't wait to go on with the reaction#and sometimes you'll decide to hate a stirbar for no real reason so you put it in jail and joke about it with the other people in there and#you'll give funny names to smelly compounds and you'll be exhausted by the end of the day but so enriched#also because you spent lunch break sharing your pets pictures#i think life should always be like this
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oh god wait. so if the episodes are "days" to the puppets, and traditionally, new episodes air once per week... then are the puppets only ever awake for one day per week? if that, cause wouldn't episodes only be about an hour long, probs less? so they're awake for however long it takes to film one episode, and then they sleep until the next.
and if Wally doesn't sleep...
#h. hold on a second hold. i need a minute hold on-#is wally awake and alone in the dark for a week at a time#waiting for his next chance to see his friends. to see anyone at all other than Home#how does it feel to him when he goes an episode - maybe multiple without seeing certain neighbors#bc it was implied on the website that some episodes don't have every character interact with wally during his shenanigans#oh fuck and if the show Ended... and he continued on... how many years has he been in the empty dark with only creaks for company#sobs loudly i cant do this-#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#i really hope they get to be awake each 'day'#i put it in quotes bc wasnt it also implied that their days are vastly different from ours#but they probably arent. theyre probably sleeping for a full week at a time#clawing at the walls over this im so emotional#do you think wally like... goes to their houses to visit them while they sleep#hm now im remembering that barnaby and wally sleepover piece clown drew#and im seeing it in an Entirely new and Vastly More Sad light
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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@vaspider @mistresskabooms @nerdykeppie I'm the one who's being weird? Me? really? You are absolutely sure you're not the asshole in this situation? You're ABSOLUTELY SURE this was a justified response to my polite confusion?
Wow. I really misread you.
#@mistresskabooms I'm sorry for tagging you but you're being used as a weapon to lash out at me and I figured you would want to know#that your parent is dragging you into their smear campaign#also the reason you don't remember it happening is because it didn't happen#it cannot have possibly happened by the laws of time and space#so.#hang in there I hope you're okay and you don't get any backlash from my response to being attacked by your parent#You're actually right not to remember it. it didn't happen. it cannot have happened because 2018 is after 2009.#that's really what baffles me the most about this#linear time supports my side#math supports my side#I'm guessing it's just embarrassed defensiveness because of other factors but it's still extremely inappropriate/unprofessional/unkind#also again even if I was wrong I did not deserve to be lashed out at for apologizing for being mistaken.#and unfortunately I have to imagine if this is how they treat strangers they probably do this at home too#and it's uncalled for and not okay no matter who it's directed at#in case you or anyone else needs to hear it#this was and is not okay#and if this seems familiar like a pattern of behavior and you need to hear it: you don't deserve to be treated like this either#hopefully it isn't#but you know#when people show you who they are believe them#and they have very clearly shown who they are#and hopefully they're not like this at home but I don't feel right not saying something somewhere just in case#if this is a pattern and you get it too: it's not your fault.#you didn't deserve to be used as a shield in trick or treating wank#don't buy from nerdykeppie
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Failed a social interaction 0 injured 1 killed (me)
#Today has been so long 😭😭😭 I've been out the whole day studying and when I came back I spent more than one hour to cook my probably gone–#bad chicken (and rice and spinach) and then I couldn't even eat it because it was my turn to clean the kitchen at the dorm (which is the–#third following day I'm doing) (worth mentioning I'm running on 5 hours of sleep)#And I was goofing around with my friends but while doing so I. made fun of the landlord. And then one friend told me “hey girl he's right–#outside” and like 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I hope I die painfully. I need to be back next year and he already makes my life hard enough and hhhhhhhhhhh#I wasn't even like. Serious. It was just to joke around with my friends I don't have anything against him (except for the things I do)#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#And now I feel so embarrassed I have no appetite at all + the chicken (which I had to bring home through one hour walk in summer which–#probably wasn't good for it. And then froze one day past the expiration day) (I really need to get better eating habits) I had been–#preparing despite taking one hour to cook it I got the firing wrong and now it's all hard and honestly not very good and like 😭😭😭#Look at what you did to the (frankly already diseased) chicken#I feel so betrayed by everything 😭😭😭 Can life get a little easier#I'm mostly kidding I'm doing okay. I just need to rant because I CAN'T GET OVER THE LANDLORD THING MAN HOW DO I FORGET ABOUT IT.#This kind of things always haunts me for at least three days so 😭😭😭#I'm dead tired but I really wanted to answer asks today so. Probably doing so between today and tomorrow#Rant over sending lots of l love 💞💞#random rambles#In my defense it's not my fault I'm too poor to throw the chicken away 😪😪 I haven't eaten since forever#It's also not my fault I can't afford a new non sticking pan so I have to stick (ah) to the probably toxic one#It is very much my fault for messing up the chicken cooking temperature tho lol
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It's my birthday today, and I'm now as old as kita shinsuke in the timeskip! 🥳
#wasn't sure if i wanted to celebrate here but KABU CAME HOME in my 4th multi pull and the world HAVE to know!!! ❤️🔥#legit shook my mom's shoulders in the middle of a jbbq spot because i didn't expect to pull him this early in a pokefair scout 😭💖#also! peek my hbslv photocards from 42yojin on the bird app 🤩💝 they came earlier this month and i gotta flex that here waughhhh 🥺🫶#anyway: here's to another year hoping that i can be somewhat healthy! i sure hope this month's medicine dosage works haha :')#and for whatever shitshow awaits me when i start school again in sept. nawt sure how i'm gonna wing it with my condition but 🤷♀️#that will be a problem i'll deal when i get there. thankfully i've been getting better at nawttt borrowing grief and anxiety from the futur#here's to hoping i can also live the ちゃんとやんえん way like kitasang does... i need have just half of his resilience to organize my life lmao 😭#but i'm grateful to have lived long enough to see the beauty in life 🥺🫶 met all kinds of amazing people and had tons of fun too!#also i went out today for ~3 hours 🥳🥂 my joints are sore as hell but i had fun + looked and felt pretty + bought a new jacket as my gift#most importantly KABU-SAN CAME HOME RRRRRAAAAHHHH ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 燃えろおおおおおおお!!!!!#LAST WISH but here's to hoping my exhaustion + stress from may disappears soon 😭🤚 i miss writing and i think it's interfering my writing#i hope you all have a great day ahead!!! 🫂💖 and kabu + larry comes home soon if you pull for them!!! 🥺🍀#personal
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