#hope you have a home when you need to
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abloomingperiod · 2 years ago
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home | min yoongi
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you can hear the urgent noises of the city outside of your windows along with the faint noise of the last raindrops slowly falling - unlike your own, which seems to only fasten their pace.
if it wasn’t for his arms embracing your figure, you swear you could slide down the floor like a puddle of recently melted ice.
“i-i… i don’t know what to d-do-“ you're able to phrase, those being your first words in the last 10 minutes.
“you don’t have to” he softly responds as his hand brushes your hair to the back of your ear, eyes attentively travelling through your face.
then, as you laid there on his lap as he always made you, yoongi starts rocking your body back and forth, pace slower than the bpm’s of a lullaby.
“but i should! i should!” you say as your eyes get drowned by your tears.
he tsk-tks, “you shouldn’t listen to whoever tells you that, even if it’s inside you” he says, his lips now finding you hair with repeated pecks, nose lovingly searching for your shampoo scent. “it’s okay, it's okay. for now, let it out and rest. you’re safe” he murmurs, arms tightening around your figure as you laid your head on his shoulder.
“you’re only saying that because i’m crying. tomorrow, i’ll be just as much of a loser as i am right now” you interject, voice weak and barely reaching his ears by the end as you nervously fiddled with your fingers.
“i’m saying that because it’s true. you’re home. i know you want to stop feeling like that, but you can't control your emotions, so just let it out. it's nothing unusual. and don't talk about yourself like that" he responds, his own fingers caressing yours as he always does when sensing your restless anxiety "if you feel lost, just remind yourself that you're home. i mean that." he keeps going, his voice barely audible if you didn't have your ear right next to his plump lips. "i can be home for you, if you let me” he responds.
“you wanna be home to a loser?”
“you clearly have no idea what a loser is" he says with a weak scoff. yoongi knows for a fact that you have a thing for the dramatic, but he also knows when it was you, someone that put a lot of pressure on themselves, feeling bad because you "should have everything sorted out".
he knew it, because he felt it, too. he knew the feeling like the palm of his hand, and he knew how god-awful it was to not be able to believe it when someone tried to genuinely help. he also knew, that he could use every trick in the book to reaffirm your worth and values, and it still wouldn't make a difference.
he knew you needed comfort, serenity and a place to freely feel. you needed a home.
he had felt that, and he promised to himself he would never let you go there alone. not you, not his home.
"i wanna be home to who is home to me” he says in a much serious and rigid tone, marking his words in your mind like no other sentence ever could, “and i love my home.”
you look up at him, and his eyes are already on yours. yours get wetter and wetter, as his keep going further and further inside your soul until you wrap your arms around his neck and buries your face back on his shoulders.
“look at me," he lifts your chin and goes to softly caress your arms, "not having control of everything is part of life. there’s nothing you can do about it but feel it when it hits you. don’t hold back from yourself, you’re more than safe to express it” he reassures. “you're not alone, and i understand what you're going through, okay?” he nods, searching for a mirrored action from you.
you feel more tears coming, but instead of hiding your face, you nod back.
"we've been there before, and you stood with me until everything got better. we can do this again, okay?” he says, tiny smile appearing on that puffy face of his “i'll be here for the good and for the bad, like you.”
you return the tiny smile and he pecks your nose making exaggerated muac noises, your smile only growing as you try to hide it with a muffled “stooooooop” coming out of your mouth, but he doesn’t let you and instead puts a finger on your cheek, returning your face to his. “look at me” and as you do, he gently pecks your lips, slowly as he possibly could, and you swear you could feel you heart slowing its frantic pace along with his lips.
pulling back, yoongi grins at you and whispers “you will always figure things out, and if any time you don’t feel like doing so, i’m here to help. we’re home, i’m your home. deal?”
you keep your eyes locked and a nod with “deal” comes out.
“good” he sighs, hands caressing your cheeks and eyes staring at your face like you're the only thing in the world as his gummy smile appears.
“you’re the best home i've ever had” he tells you, caressing your knuckles.
you weakly chuckle at his cute remark, your heartbeats slowing down along with you tears until you finally can breathe normally again and your right hand lovingly touches his clothed chest.
“you’re not bad yourself”.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 month ago
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Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!
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cobaltfluff · 21 days ago
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wait, who's getting married??
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deoidesign · 3 months ago
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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leviiackrman · 4 months ago
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SIMS 4 OC BUILDS: Hokage Retreat
As of right now, the last house of my current sims builds is the home of the Seventh Hokage himself! Mumma Chika and their triplets: Nori, Kyo and Hiro, all live in this modern home, located on the outskirts of the hidden leaf village for a bit of well deserved privacy. Although both incredibly busy, Chika and Kakashi enjoy spending majority of their time in their home - entertaining their rambunctious children!
Lookbooks: Ackermans || Rikihisas || Enatsu || Kyutoku || Olalias || Hatakes || ATLA || Ginnivan || Ishimoto || Drakes
Builds: Saitama Loft || Sunset Cosy Cabin || League of Villains Hideout || Tiny Treehouse || Maritime Villa
Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @greenecreek @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @a-treides @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel @imogenkol
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sunrizef1 · 5 months ago
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Not that I whole-heartedly believe this, but if it is true, we narrowly avoided a much worse timeline where James had kicked Logan this week and stuck Esteban in his place
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fiendishartist2 · 2 years ago
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reigen would be so proud of older mob :,)
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zackcharine · 14 days ago
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Having another rough day already as. usual
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ismyteadoneyet · 20 days ago
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bro getting myself an audhd assessment for the sole reason of making the rest of my family realize that THE HAVE IT THEMSELVES is getting more and more tempting by the fkn day I SWEAR TO GOD
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posalis · 25 days ago
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"jayce has two hands!" yes and they were both holding viktor in the end <3
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lilworms · 2 months ago
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so
#last night was really so so so fun and it was super hard to get myself to go out? like#in the sense of I really wanted to because I knew it would be fun but I also knew my anxiety was eating me alive#and it would be an obstacle getting through that without alcohol and I need to be … careful#but I got fun drunk and didn’t have too bad of a hangover and didn’t feel super anxious once we got out :#and a different friend wants to make plans for tonight but I am really bad at making plans in advance because sometimes I physically can’t#do things after work bc tired bc neuro disorder and it’s frustrating to my friend with severe control issues#bc she needs to make specific plans like a week out and I’m like erm babe I can’t like#do that? and then if I don’t feel well day of and need to be home she gets (rightfully) frustrated because I’m bailing but it’s#challenging. and you don’t understand unless you live with it.#and it’s frustrating for us both. I don’t want her to think I don’t value her because I do and I force myself out often enough bc I#genuinely feel bad. but it’s so fucking hard sometimes . she also lives sort of far so going from work and having#to drive an hour to her place to then go somewhere and be out like#I’m spent before I even get there#friend I saw last night and I don’t talk consistently but when we do it’s always the same vibe and so fun and we just catch up about life#I feel like when I see my other friends they have things to always talk about because they’re in a discord call almost every night#I don’t have the energy!!!!!!!!!! like I’m so sorry that’s so much for me#idk she isn’t answering me now but if she wants to do something I need to know in the next hr bc if not I’m literally going to bed#I love her but there’s a disconnect between us rn and I don’t know how to mend that gap#but I do love her friendship so I’m just like. sigh#idk it would be different if she was closer and I know that#I hope getting back on medication helps get me being more social again. I’m just so tired this week that speaking is hard lol
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ywpd-translations · 1 year ago
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Ride 738: Towards to scorching hot stage!!
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Pag 1
The climax of the training camp arc!!
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Pag 2
The incandescent battle is starting!!
Sohoku, towards the Inter High!!
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Pag 3
4: It's so hot
It's so hot suddenly!!
I can't do this anymore, I'll take a two hours break
I'm your buddy, so I'l also take a two hours break!!
5: The weather on the third day of training camp....
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Pag 4
1: is scorching hot
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Pag 5
3: Kakaka it's pouring out!!
Pouring out!!
5: Sweat!!
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Pag 6
1: Finding shade and running like this seriously exhausts our stamina!!
2: Yeah!!
5: Murakamii!!
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Pag 7
1: Yessir!
3: Thanks!!
Thank you!!
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Pag 8
1: Kaa....!! Cold water feels so good...!!
Hyaaa.... it works..!!
2: The standard spots to pour water on yourself are face, head, and back, Onoda-kun
Putting it in yous stomach also feels so good, but
3: In one shot you'll upset your stomach and then a toilet hell will await you
O-okay!! Scary...
4: Alright, we're refreshed!! Let's raise the pace again, Onoda-kun!!
Okay!!
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Pag 9
1: Naruko-san....
3: Incredible... the senpais aren't taking a break and keep running
Despite how hot it is...
4: By the way, have you noticed?
Huh?
Their jerseys
5: Since this training camp started, the senpais
6: have been wearing long-sleeved jerseys
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Pag 10
1: Why!? Ah! It's true, Imaizumi-san... and Kaburagi-san too
They should just take it off, since it's so hot
2: Is it a way of training?
Like carrying a burden to power up?
A heavy burden
3: I'm sorry... my left knee hurts
Is that so?
4: I was overly optimistic... I thought that if I did a good job.... and succeed in this training camp, then I'd be one of the six members
But....
5: To overcome everything and keep fighting, you need physical preparation
6: Just being cunning won't open the way
7: I understand, I accept your retiring
But
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Pag 11
1: You'll work behind the scenes for the last two days
There's a lot of work to do behind the scenes, and this time you'll do it with all your strength!!
3: If you want to become stronger, you have to study and watch other run, too
Observe, discover. There are things you can only discover when you're not pedaling
4: Not a single second is a moment you can't learn!!
5: It might be the first time I meet such an intense senpai...
“Learn”.... Naruko-san....
6: I want to become stronger, I'll do my best
Let's add ice
7: The jerseys have a meaning too, I'm sure
It's not just a careless burden
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Pag 12
1: There's something!!
Human bodis have the ability to adapt
2: From spring to summer
3: From autumn to winter, we meet seasonal changes and adapt
We do it two times a year
4: The body naturally creates its own system to face the hot and cold according to the climate
5: Just like during summer the leaves grow green and thickly
6: While during winter the leaves fall
7: You can't see it with your eyes, bt our skin, bones, sweat glands, and muscles, go through dramatic changes
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Pag 13
1: The proof is that, during summer, 10° are so cold you feel like freezing, but during winter it feels warm
2: To force that adaptation faster, that's the meaning of these long-sleeved jerseys!!
3: Adapting takes time. So we're adapting to heat earlier to prepare for the summer Inter High!! Our bodies too!!
4: Yeah!!
5: After all, this year's summer is gonna be our third Inter High!!
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Pag 16
3: Kyushu, Kumamoto Prefecture, Mount Aso
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Pag 17
1: Do you know? A long time ago.... they say that here, as far as your eyes could see, there was a hugh volcano surrounding this scenery
2: Huh, really?
When humans still hunted with stone tools
3: There were four big explosions and the mountain collapsed in the magma pit
4: With a diameter of 25km, it's the largest caldera in the world.... and it made this outer rim of the crater
So, the cities, roads, and fields we can see from here, inside the muntain?
Yeah
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Pag 18
1: I can feel it, somehow....
The breath of the earth
2: With my whole body... yon!!
3: Fou!! Really!? I can only see this huge scenery....
!! No, I can feel it...!! Fou
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Pag 19
1: This splendid scenery and steep slopes
2: This magnificent nature
3: An unpaved side road that appears from time to time
4: We came to.... inspect the race's course
5: and chose a “road bike”, but
6: Ah!! I get it!! I was thinking about it now!!
7: I wish we had bought our “mountain bikes”, yon!!
Fou!!
There's so many roads that make me want to run!!
I totally get that!!
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Pag 20
1: Our third and last Inter High will be in the scorching hot Kyushu!! In the “land of fire”, Kumamoto
2: Mount Aso
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Pag 21
1: will be our stage!!
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Pag 22
1: It's gonna be a hot one, this Inter High!!
2: It's burning up
3: Our final last stage
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Pag 23
1: Red like magma!!
2: Challenge!! The last Inter High!!
Yes!!
Yeah!!
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Pag 24
2: At CSP, Sohoku High School racing team's training camp is 3 / 4 done
Everyone is riding at their buddy's pace
3: Many of the first and second years retired, but even so, the third day ended without any incident
4: Currently, there are 8 people in the top ranking who could be chosen as Inter High members
There's only the last day
5: The fourth day
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deus-ex-mona · 2 months ago
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pretty minor thing to think about, but i find it interesting how chapter 7 is the first chapter illustration to show chizuutan as chizuru (instead of chuutan)
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like, i get it’s a flashback chapter, but we hardly got to see her as chizuru in the previous few chapters thus far… maybe we’ll get to see more of her as her true self after the hiyori fight/make up? only future chapters may tell, i guess…
#there’s like 5 weeks to go till chapter 6 is released into the rest of the world and i m n o t r e a d y—#man. chapter 5 still manages to ruin my mood no matter how many times i read it… man.#i was having so much fun with renren and concon and the 3 stooges and th e n.#imagine putting on a (somewhat) perfect/cute act to hide your true self because you know you’re unlovable the way you are#but then someone else runs along and screws up every step of the way without putting on any airs and is adored for it anyway…#i imagine chapter 6 will be much worse. especially since the start of the flashback begins there…#i sincerely hope the flashback ends in chapter 7 bc aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#though. considering where we are now in the series. i think there’s a chance that vol 2 will come out at the end of december#ch 8 will prolly start to drop somewhere around the later half of november so it seems about right…#b u t if there’s the preorder bonus manga for vol 2 in dec can we have santa girl chuutan in it p l s—#i think we’ll need an incredibly cute bonus feature to lift the mood from whatever the heck’s going on with vol 2’s chapters#bc. idk. im sensing some self hatred with this one chizuchan… it’s as though she can only love herself if she’s dolled up as chuutan…#like. even in her aizo self-insert delusions she’s thinking of herself as chuutan… maybe im reading too much into this. hm.#but then again she even puts on makeup when she’s at home in her own room…#w a i t a sec what if this wack behaviour only came about bc of what’s about to be revealed in the flashbacks. wait. no. w h a t if—#i hope manga chizuchan will be able to love herself properly soon… we all love you chizuchan~~~~~~~~~~#this. too. is our oshi no—#dammit why is something set in the same universe as the [redacted] anime making me feel things??? i hate itttttttttt#anyways. wh. what if one of the h10w turns out to be an anime adaptation of the chizuchan manga#and they’re just waiting on. like. the final vol to announce it.#it’d make the most sense for an anime series at this point… since chizuchan is marketable and it’s set in the same anime verse#so there’s no inconsistencies to retcon and such…#but!!!! most importantly!!!!!! we’d be able to see animated renren and concon!!!!!!!#…but something like this will only appear in my delusions huh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#mousou dake no kawaikute gomen anime#ok that’s enough thinking for the day; back to kimikawaii mv g o o d b y e~~~~#chizuutan chizpost
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deoidesign · 7 months ago
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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vulpinesaint · 2 months ago
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it’s like. i love being trans. and also if there was a loving god he wouldn’t do this to me
#usually my mental illness is emotional Nothingness. when i take wellbutrin i can feel again!#and when the wellbutrin loses efficacy i keep the feeling but lose the good ones so i just unlock Regular Depression. which fucking Sucks#and a couple weeks ago i ran out of t gel and it is a controlled substance so they wouldn’t give me my refill until the full 60 days were up#which meant i had to be off t for like a week. and i was so so hopeful that it wouldn’t do anything to me.#but it restarted my cycle so i’m bleeding rn. and it is so fucking awful#it Hurts and it feels Humiliating and Wrong#cramps and stomach issues And dysphoria and bleeding. nothing more evil to do to me right now#and it’s worse cause i was done with that. i literally GOT RID OF IT. I PUT THE WORK IN. I WAS FREE.#but i couldn’t have my medicine and now i no longer control my own body. horrifying. so horrifying#wore a kind of ill fitting binder today too and it kickstarted Other dysphoria on the drive home so. messed up rn.#i just want to be able to live my life man. i want to have a body that looks and functions like me#and can feel things and do things#and doesn’t subject me to hurt in multiple multiple ways. that would be really cool.#genuinely it does not fucking matter if god loves me. cause if this is what i go through when he loves me#then i don’t want his fucking love.#i hope god kills himself actually#i want to wake up and just be able to put a shirt on and leave the house. can you imagine a fucking world#gonna try nd sleep for like five minutes and then go to dinner with my mom. i can be okay. i can be stronger than my struggles#i just need to be really fucking angry with god.#great time to be reading paradise lost#valentine notes
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omarfor-orchestra · 3 months ago
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