#hope you enjoyed this little deep dive into my opinions

[plexiglassonion]

my fave revolver song mixes and versions (note that I listen to everything in Mono on spotify because stereo hurts my brain):

Taxman - Take 11

It's pretty much the same in many regards as the the end product, save for the little "anybody got a bit of money" backing vocals which I adore they're just so playful and I love how they vary from the rest of the song in terms of speed.

2. Eleanor Rigby - Remastered 2009

The reason I didn't pick the 2022 mix is because I did not like how... empty it felt. I feel the instrument and vocal cleaning up and isolation really removed a lot of the rich atmosphere from the song, which is extremely obvious in a song with verse instrumentation at the beginning that is very calm. The vocals feel worlds apart from the instruments too, like they're not occupying the same space. The 2009 remaster therefore is automatically the better one to me.

3. I'm Only Sleeping - 2022 Mix

Just some solid bass right there, makes it sound more hearty. Because the instrumentation is more busy and varied you cannot hear any of the cons you hear on the 2022 Eleanor Rigby.

4. Here, There And Everywhere - 2022 Mix

Again, the cleaning up is handled better here too. I do feel it does slightly over-do it, but it doesn't render it unlistenable to me. I am as fine with it as the original.

5. Yellow Submarine - Songwriting Work Tape / Part 2

I will admit: I am not the worlds biggest yellow submarine fan in the first place. It's fun, but I won't put it on unless I'm listening to the album all the way through. But this working version just... clicks better with me I think. The tempo being faster and the rhythm being a bit different does it wonders to me as a song. My favourite thing about it though is the additional chorus vocals though. "We all live in a yellow submarine- Look out! yellow submarine- get down!" guys why the FUCK did you remove them??!! they're just so damn fun and whimsical :(( .

6. She Said She Said - 2022 Mix

oi loike ringoes drooms :) 😎☮🌺 you can hear um so clearly.

7. Good Day Sunshine - 2022 Mix

I don't have much to say on this mix because I do not like relistening to this song too much because it is my morning alarm and the intro always instils me a feeling of dread for the oncoming day therefore.

8. And Your Bird Can Sing - 2022 Mix

It's just so crisp. so bright. The guitars absolutely kill it, they sound like biting into a fresh cold juicy apple.

9. For No One - 2022 Mix

Idk if it's just me but I feel like I can hear Paul's emotion in his delivery much more due to the clean up. His voice is front and centre without pushing back the instruments into another room like with Eleanor Rigby 2022.

10. I Want To Tell You - 2022 Mix

I also think that the clean up really does good to the drums and the vocals. it all seems a little brighter. Then again, I didn't really listen much to the 2009 version in the first place.

11. Got To Get You Into My Life - Second Version / Unnumbered Mix

I have feelings about this. I have many feelings. I never really gelled with the original 'Into My Life. It was mostly due to the structure of the song, where Paul builds up with this lovely melody with all these intensifying horns only for the chorus to be. one word. It just ends there. And while this version still has that, I feel the lack of horns lets you hear this sparse guitar instrumentation which grows and gets this interesting groove in the chorus that I feel is more worth it than the original chorus fanfare. The guitar work in this is also great to me I am a sucker for a good staccato guitar, and THE VOCALS. Paul sounds like he has more passions, and there are BACKING VOCALS. Now that I've heard them, it's so obvious they are missing from the original. However, my ideal version of this song is not just this take. It would combine this take with "Second Version / Take 8" where it's just the brass instrumentation which feels more exciting to me than the original version, and would combine it in a way where you would get the best of the horns and the best of the staccato guitar and also the b a c k i n g v o c a l s and also the interlude with the backing vocals.

12. Tomorrow Never Knows - 2022 Mix

good mix 👍 feels more weighty, which this should defo be.

[concreteangel92]

I have a request! Do you think maybe you’d write a oneshot of Noah subbing for fem!reader on a leash? Holding him to you while he eats you out. Calling him ‘puppy’ 🥺 Him being mischievous and up to no good. Fucking adores his collar. Making him come before he’s allowed so you can punish him or have him make it up to you

Also please please please Noah having a thing for high heels like. They can stay on during sex. Something about the way you keep him at bay with one on pressing into his chest makes him 😵‍💫(But also the idea of him helping take them off and kissing down her thighs to her ankles. I swoon.)

Oh I love me a bit of a subby Noah, he looks far too good on his knees in my opinion 🥵

Now I done a one shot a while ago where the reader uses the lead to hold him into her, etc so I’ll link that here and I’ll continue under the cut the rest of your request and it can be a part 2 if you will haha hope you enjoy!!

18+ below the cut

Noah had a real thing for you in heels. 6 inch black platform stilettos are a particular favourite, they drive him absolutely wild.

Something you were well aware of when you got dressed for your date night tonight, Noah was taking you out for dinner so you decided to rile him up.

It definitely worked, the moment he saw you in your little black dress and heels, his jaw practically dropped.

“Fuck me”

You smirked, knowing you were going to keep him waiting all night before you let him indulge.

Over dinner you could see the longing in his eyes, how he shifted in his seat, you knew he could think of nothing else but you in your heels. Whispering “easy puppy” in his ear as you went to the toilets definitely caused a shift within him.

More than once you had to brush his hand away from your legs under the table, not missing the cheeky smile he had, he knew he was pushing you.

Once back at home, you could tell he was eager to have you, but tonight you were in charge and you wanted to make him beg for it.

“On your knees baby”

Noah looked at you and you saw him surrendering and he dropped down onto his knees in front of you.

“You were very disobedient at the restaurant, how many times did I have to move your hands away?”

You stared down at him with a look of annoyance, although it didn’t run deep.

“Three”

You bent down and grabbed his chin so he looked up at you.

“Three what?”

“Three times mistress”

You then firmly but not to hard, smacked the side of his cheek before gripping his chin again, not missing the groan that fell from his lips.

“Now you should know better my sweet boy? I’ve trained you better than that…makes me think that you wanted to upset me just so I can punish you eh?”

Noah hadn’t taken his eyes off you, he started to shake his head but you caught the small smile on his lips.

“Looks like you decided to be a brat today, that’s fine pup, I can forgive it…”

You sat down on the sofa behind you and spread your legs to reveal you had no underwear on.

“If you make sure that you apologise properly”

Noah let out another groan and went to dive forward onto you until you pressed one heel into his chest, stopping him in his tracks.

“Ah, ah, ah. Did I say you could eat yet?”

“No mistress, I’m sorry”

You pressed the heel more into his chest as you quickly slipped your dress over your head, leaving you in nothing but your heels.

“Mistress please, I’m sorry for acting up tonight”

You giggled, he looked like he was already pussy drunk before he’d even had you.

“I don’t think you deserve any treats tonight”

You reached your hand down and started to rub slow circles on your clit, making the point of letting out your low moans. Noah’s mouth fell open and you could see how painfully tight his trousers were.

“What’s the matter baby? Getting a bit warm with your clothes on?”

Noah nodded, his eyes not leaving your movements, you could see his hand going towards his bulge.

“Don’t. Even. Think. About it”

You circled your clit harder and then pushed your hand down further so you could slip a finger inside, feeling how wet you were, you moaned out as your eyes fell closed briefly.

“You may strip puppy but don’t you dare touch yourself”

Noah quickly rid himself of his clothes, carelessly tossing them to the side and knelt back in front of you and you finally saw how hard he was, he was already leaking and looked almost painful. What a beautiful sight.

“Please mistress, I’ll do anything but please let me do something or give me something”

“I’m already giving you a show”

You saw Noah look like he was about to cry in frustration, his fingers were twitching on his thighs and his breathing was getting faster.

You pulled your fingers out and leant forward.

“Open”

Noah done as he was told and you pressed your fingers into his mouth which he immediately sucked on, cleaning your own juices off of them.

When he moaned, you pulled your hand back and put your heel back into his chest, watching it dig into the tattoos.

“Don’t be greedy baby….You love me in these shoes don’t you?”

Noah nodded.

“I really do mistress”

“Then kiss them and show me that you’re sorry”

Noah’s hand gently wrapped around your ankle to support the weight of your leg and he kissed the top of your heel and then carried on leaving light kisses up your leg, his fingers leaving a tingling sensation as he traced your skin.

You spread your legs wider when he started to kiss your inner thighs, his warm breath ghosting over your skin. You wound your fingers into his hair to caress his head as he then started to go where you needed him most.

You felt him lick a long strip up your centre and back down to have a taste of you before he moved his lips to your clit and you felt his fingers around your entrance.

“Don’t play with me baby and remember….no touching yourself”

Noah nodded in between your legs, not once removing his mouth, he slipped in an inked digit and you felt your walls gripping onto him, the sensation so much better then when you do it due to the size difference of your hands.

“Oh fuck…”

Noah didn’t tease you anymore, he started up a fast, steady pace with his hand and he continued working his tongue and mouth on your clit, shaking his head and causing you to pull him into you more by his hair.

You threw one of your legs over his shoulder so he would feel your heel digging in and you felt your stomach start to twist up tighter.

“Noah, don’t stop, I’m so close”

Noah didn’t stop, he added a second finger and continued to eat you out like a man starved until you cried out as your orgasm washed over you, your hips crashing into his face as you rode out your high.

You pulled Noah’s face away and pulled him into a kiss, not caring in the slightest that his lower face was drenched.

When you pulled back, Noah leant his head on yours.

“Please mistress, please can I touch myself now, please I’m begging you”

You shushed him gently and kissed him once more.

“I’ll do better then that, sit up here pup, I’m going to ride you”

Noah’s eyes lit up at your words and he sat himself on the sofa next to you, his dick looking heavy as it fell back into his stomach, pre cum dripping onto his own skin in the process.

You moved so you were straddling him, you reached down and helped line him up before sinking down, Noah instantly letting out a low growl and his hands gripping your hips so hard he’d leave bruises.

“You always stretch me so perfectly baby, you’re so perfect for me”

Noah’s eyes had fallen shut, his brows were frowned and his lips fell open. You gripped his chin to make him look at you.

“Now puppy, you are not allowed to cum until I say so, is that clear?”

“Mistress I really don’t think I’m going to las..”

You bounced your hips up and down hard to cut his words off which got lost in his throat with a choked gasp.

“I’m not asking again, you’re going to let me use you as I like, would you like that? For me to use you puppy?”

Noah’s hands gripped your hips harder and his eyes were blown black with lust.

“Yes mistress please use me”

You smiled and stroked his cheek before you settled your hands on his shoulders and started to bounce your hips up and down, slowly at first but when the sensation started to rise, you moved faster.

The room was filled with the sound of skin slapping on skin as the layer of sweat started to coat both your bodies, both of your moans and groans echoing around the room.

As you felt your high start to approach once more, you felt Noah’s hips rut up into yours as he cried out.

“Mistress…I can’t…”

The next thing you felt was hot ropes of Noah’s release coating your walls as his hips jolted and his head fell onto your shoulder with a low groan.

You stopped your movements as Noah tried to catch his breath back.

“Oh dear baby, looks like we need to train you to be more obedient”

The rest of the night, you made sure to punish your sweet boy in the most beautiful, sinful of ways.

[muiitoloko]

The Princess

Summary: He becomes obsessed with you, forgotten princess.

Pairing: Rasputin × Fem! Reader

Warnings: Smut, violence, Black magic and obsession.

Author's Notes: Buckle up, folks, we're diving into another adventure! And can I let you in on a little secret? I might have gone off the rails a bit with Rasputin's character—oopsie! So, if I've strayed too far from the path of Rasputin-ness, let me know! Your feedback is like the GPS for my writing journey, guiding me back on track! 🚀🗺️

Request made by @eccentricchick here

In the kingdom of Czarist Russia, nestled in the heart of the vast Russian Empire, the halls of the royal palace echoed with whispers of intrigue and betrayal. It was a kingdom steeped in tradition and hierarchy, where bloodlines determined destiny and the pursuit of power knew no bounds.

And within the walls of the palace, hidden away from the prying eyes of the courtiers and nobles, lived the second princess—a forgotten soul cast aside by her family, deemed unworthy of the throne due to a cruel twist of fate.

Unlike your younger sister Anna, the heir to the throne, you, the second princess was unable to conceive children. In a kingdom where lineage was everything, your inability to produce an heir was seen as a fatal flaw, a stain upon your honor and your worth.

Dismissed from your rightful role as heir apparent, you was relegated to the shadows, overshadowed by your sister's brilliance and beauty. You was a mere footnote in the annals of history, a forgotten relic of a bygone era, your existence deemed inconsequential by those who held the reins of power.

Resigned to a life of solitude and obscurity, you had long accepted your fate as the forgotten princess, destined to languish in the shadows while your sister basked in the glory of her position as heir to the throne. With no prospects for marriage and no hope of ever bearing children, you had resigned yourself to a life of loneliness and isolation, your existence deemed worthless by those who held the reins of power.

But fate had other plans in store for you, as one day, the king made a fateful decision that would change the course of your life forever. Hearing tales of a mystic healer named Rasputin, renowned for his purported ability to commune with the divine, the king saw an opportunity to bring spiritual guidance to the palace and hired him to serve as the royal spiritual advisor.

Initially intended to provide guidance and counsel to your sister Anna, the king surprised everyone by decreeing that both princesses would receive instruction from Rasputin. And so, the enigmatic mystic was summoned to the palace, his arrival heralding a new chapter in your life.

As Rasputin entered the hallowed halls of the palace, his presence seemed to command the attention of all who beheld him. With his piercing gaze, unkempt mane of hair, and rugged beard, he exuded an aura of mystery and power, his baritone voice resonating with authority as he greeted the royal family.

Despite your initial skepticism, you couldn't help but feel a sense of curiosity and intrigue as Rasputin began his teachings. His words were like poetry, weaving tales of spirituality and redemption that captivated your imagination and stirred something deep within your soul.

As the days turned into weeks, Rasputin's teachings delved deeper into the spiritual realm, captivating both you and Anna in different ways. While Anna seemed more enchanted by his charismatic presence, you remained reserved yet attentive, your curiosity growing with each passing lesson.

And despite Anna's uninhibited attempts to seduce Rasputin, he remained unfazed, enjoying the attention but never succumbing to her advances. Instead, his focus seemed to gravitate towards you, the forgotten princess, whose sweetness and sadness intrigued him more than Anna's boldness ever could.

Your family's disregard for your feelings and opinions did not go unnoticed by Rasputin. He observed how you were often left behind, ignored, and forgotten, yet you continued to display kindness and grace in the face of such neglect. This purity of heart only served to deepen Rasputin's fascination with you, contrasting sharply with the sinful women he was accustomed to.

In his eyes, you were a beacon of purity in a world tainted by ambition and deceit. He was drawn to the idea of making you his own, of protecting you from the cruelties of the world and showering you with the love and attention you so desperately deserved.

But Rasputin's intentions were not entirely altruistic. His desires were driven by a complex mix of genuine affection and a hunger for power, a hunger that could only be satiated by possessing something as pure and untainted as your soul.

And as Rasputin's teachings continued to enthrall both you and Anna, his attention towards you became increasingly intense, bordering on obsession. While Anna basked in his charismatic presence, you became the subject of Rasputin's fascination, his thoughts consumed by visions of you.

In the dead of night, as he lay in the embrace of nameless women, their bodies intertwined in a dance of desire, it was not their faces he saw, but yours. With each whispered breath and sinful caress, he imagined it was you beneath him, your purity tarnished by his touch, your innocence corrupted by his desires.

"Such sweet innocence," he murmured, his baritone voice laced with hunger as he traced imaginary lines upon your skin, his fingers tingling with anticipation. "I shall be the one to pluck the forbidden fruit, to taste the nectar of your purity and revel in the ecstasy of your corruption."

His dreams were filled with visions of you, your image haunting him even in the depths of his slumber. In his mind's eye, he saw himself as the serpent, tempting you with promises of enlightenment and ecstasy, leading you down the path of sin and salvation.

But his desires were not merely confined to the realm of dreams. In the quiet moments of solitude, when the palace slept and the world outside faded into darkness, Rasputin found himself consumed by thoughts of you, his mind ablaze with fantasies of conquest and domination.

"I shall be your savior and your downfall," he whispered to the shadows, his voice a seductive lure that beckoned you into his embrace. "For in your innocence lies the key to my salvation, and in your corruption, the promise of eternal damnation."

And so, fueled by his insatiable hunger and boundless ambition, Rasputin set out to claim you as his own, using every ounce of charm and influence at his disposal to bend you to his will. For in the forgotten princess, he saw not just a vessel for his desires, but a pawn in his game of power and manipulation, a pawn he was all too willing to sacrifice on the altar of his own ambition.

That day, following another session of Rasputin imparting God's precepts, your sister, Anna, departed, leaving you alone with the man. Summoning all your courage, you finally spoke, your voice barely above a muffled murmur. "Rasputin, may I have a moment of your time?"

Surprised by the request, Rasputin turned his piercing gaze towards you, his eyes alight with curiosity. "Of course, my dear princess. What is it that troubles you?"

You hesitated, the weight of your words heavy upon your tongue, but with a deep breath, you found the resolve to speak. "I... I wish to learn about economics and life outside the castle."

Rasputin arched an eyebrow, a hint of intrigue dancing in his eyes. "Economics, you say? A curious choice for a princess."

You glanced down at the floor, your fingers fidgeting nervously as you spoke. "My sister is learning about it from my father, and... and I fear for my future. If I am to be cast aside, I wish to be prepared."

Rasputin's expression softened, a glimmer of empathy shining through his enigmatic facade. "I see. You wish to carve your own path, regardless of the obstacles in your way."

You nodded, a sense of relief washing over you as Rasputin seemed to understand your plight. "Yes, precisely. Will you... will you teach me?"

A smile tugged at the corners of Rasputin's lips, his eyes alight with newfound admiration. "It would be my honor, Princess. I shall impart upon you the knowledge you seek, and together, we shall navigate the intricacies of the world beyond these walls."

With a sense of gratitude swelling within your heart, you stepped forward, surprising Rasputin with a brief embrace before bowing in gratitude. "Thank you, Rasputin. You have given me hope where there was none."

Rasputin returned the gesture, his touch lingering for a moment longer than necessary as he inhaled the sweet scent of your perfume, committing it to memory. "It is my pleasure, Princess. Fear not, for I shall be your guide in this journey of discovery."

And as you departed, a newfound sense of purpose burning within your soul, Rasputin watched you with a mixture of fascination and desire, knowing that this encounter had sealed your fates together in ways neither of you could have anticipated.

He closed his eyes, your scent still lingering in the air, a sweet temptation that beckoned to him. It was as if you had left a part of yourself behind, a tantalizing reminder of the warmth and sweetness you brought into his life. With a soft sigh, Rasputin relished in the memory, savoring the fleeting sensation of your presence before it dissipated into the ether.

Woman was made for man, Rasputin mused, his thoughts drifting towards the biblical tale of Adam and Eve. Just as Eve was fair for Adam, you were made for him, his sweet temptation, a forbidden fruit that he longed to taste again and again.

But there was no time for lingering indulgence. With a sense of purpose burning within him, Rasputin quickly left the chamber, his steps echoing against the marble floors as he made his way to his quarters. The warmth of your touch still lingered upon his skin, igniting a fire within him that refused to be extinguished.

As he entered his private chambers, Rasputin wasted no time in undressing, his movements swift and purposeful as he discarded his clothes with practiced ease. His pants fell around his ankles, pooling at his feet, while he bit the hem of his shirt, pulling it high to reveal his semi-hard penis.

With a hunger that bordered on desperation, Rasputin took himself in hand, his touch firm and demanding as he stroked himself to full hardness. His mind was consumed by thoughts of you, kneeling before him, your eyes filled with devotion as you eagerly awaited his instruction.

Imagining your scent, your touch, Rasputin lost himself in a whirlwind of desire, his fantasies taking on a life of their own as he surrendered himself to the intoxicating pleasure of his own touch. With each stroke, he imagined your lips trailing kisses along his length, your hands exploring every inch of his body with a hunger that mirrored his own.

"Oh, my sweet princess," Rasputin murmured, his voice thick with desire as he imagined you kneeling before him, your eyes filled with adoration as you worshipped at his feet. "You are my greatest temptation, my deepest desire. I shall make you mine, body and soul, and together, we shall conquer the world."

Driven by a primal need for release, Rasputin quickened his pace, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he approached the brink of ecstasy. With a final, desperate cry, he succumbed to the overwhelming pleasure, his climax washing over him in a tidal wave of ecstasy as he spilled himself onto the floor below.

As he lay there, spent and sated, Rasputin's mind was filled with visions of you, your image burning brightly in the darkness of his thoughts. For in that moment, he knew that you were not just a princess to be conquered, but a queen to be crowned, a partner in his quest for power and domination.

And as he drifted off to sleep, Rasputin whispered a silent prayer of thanks to the gods, grateful for the sweet temptation that had entered his life and forever altered the course of his destiny.

The next day, as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the palace grounds, Rasputin made his way to the Palace library, where you awaited his arrival with a sense of eager anticipation. Dressed in his usual attire of flowing robes and unkempt hair, Rasputin exuded an air of mystery and authority as he entered the room, his presence commanding attention as he took his seat across from you.

With a soft smile, you greeted him, your eyes sparkling with excitement as you presented him with the gift—a delicate necklace adorned with a small cross. Rasputin's gaze lingered on the necklace for a moment, his fingers tracing the intricate patterns before meeting your eyes with a look of genuine gratitude.

"Thank you, my princess," he murmured, his voice a soothing melody that washed over you like a warm embrace. "This is a most thoughtful gift, and I shall cherish it always."

As you stepped forward to place the necklace around his neck, Rasputin allowed you to do so, relishing in the warmth of your touch as you arranged it in his robes. His heart swelled with affection as he looked down at you, his eyes softening with genuine fondness as he beheld your innocence and purity.

With a gentle smile, Rasputin blessed you, making the sign of the cross and pressing a tender kiss to your forehead before the start of your lesson. Despite the temptation to indulge in more intimate gestures, Rasputin restrained himself, contenting himself with the simple pleasure of your company as you embarked on your journey of learning together.

As the lessons progressed, you found yourself drawn to Rasputin's enigmatic presence, your curiosity piqued by the tales of his past and the rumors that surrounded him. With a shy yet earnest expression, you broached the subject, your voice barely above a whisper as you dared to ask about his life outside the palace walls.

Rasputin's expression softened, a hint of sadness flickering in his eyes as he considered your question. "Ah, my dear princess, the rumors you have heard are but fragments of the truth, distorted by the whispers of those who seek to tarnish my reputation."

He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts before continuing. "Yes, it is true that I have wandered far and wide, seeking enlightenment and guidance from the divine. But depraved? No, my dear, I am merely a humble servant of God, seeking to fulfill my purpose in this world."

You listened intently, hanging on his every word as he shared glimpses of his past and the trials he had faced along the way. Despite the shadows that lingered in his past, you couldn't help but feel a sense of compassion and understanding towards him, drawn to the complexity of his character and the depth of his soul.

As the evening drew to a close, Rasputin bid you farewell with a kind smile, his eyes alight with warmth and affection as he promised to continue your lessons in the days to come. And as you watched him depart, a sense of gratitude welled within you, grateful for the opportunity to learn from a man whose wisdom and guidance would shape your destiny in ways you could never have imagined.

In the days that followed, Rasputin reveled in your presence, relishing the opportunity to share his knowledge with you under the veil of secrecy. Late into the night, when the palace slept and the world outside faded into darkness, Rasputin would summon you to the library, where he would teach you about life beyond the castle walls.

With each lesson, you drank in his words like a parched traveler in the desert, eager to quench your thirst for knowledge and understanding. Rasputin proved to be an engaging teacher, his baritone voice weaving tales of far-off lands and exotic cultures that captured your imagination and stirred something deep within your soul.

As the nights turned into weeks, Rasputin's teachings became increasingly intimate, his lessons delving into the mysteries of the flesh and the pleasures of the senses. With each whispered confession and lingering touch, he awakened something primal within you, a hunger that burned with a fierce intensity.

And then, one fateful night, as the candles flickered and cast long shadows across the library shelves, Rasputin could resist you no longer. With a hunger that bordered on desperation, he pinned you against the nearest shelf, his body pressed against yours as he accused you of consuming his thoughts, of tempting him away from God.

"I don't understand," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you looked up at him with wide, bewildered eyes. "Why would you say such things?"

Rasputin's expression softened, a mixture of frustration and longing flickering in his eyes as he gazed down at you. "Because it's true, my dear princess. You consume my thoughts, cloud my prayers, tempt me away from the path of righteousness with your sweet innocence."

You shook your head, a sense of disbelief washing over you as you struggled to comprehend his words. "But... but I never meant to..."

Before you could finish your sentence, Rasputin's hands found their way to your waist, his touch both gentle and possessive as he held you in place. "You may deny it, my dear, but I see the truth in your eyes. You long for my touch, crave my kiss, even as you try to push me away."

You swallowed hard, the weight of his words bearing down upon you like a heavy burden. "But these are things I should only do with my husband," you protested weakly, your hands instinctively moving to push him away.

Rasputin stood firm, his grip tightening ever so slightly as he refused to let you go. "And what husband would want you?" he countered, his voice low and husky with desire. "An infertile, useless woman like yourself?"

You stammered, your mind racing as you struggled to find a response. "But... but there are women in the Bible who were infertile and still got married because their husbands wanted them," you argued, desperate to find some semblance of reason in the chaos of your thoughts.

Rasputin nodded, his eyes alight with a fierce intensity as he gazed down at you. "Yes, my dear, and I want you," he declared, his voice a low growl that sent shivers down your spine. "I desire you, I love you. Only I can give you what you desire, what you deserve."

You recoiled in surprise, the shock of his words reverberating through your very being. "But... but I'm sterile," you protested weakly, your voice trembling with uncertainty. "How could you possibly..."

Rasputin cut you off with a dismissive wave of his hand, his expression unwavering in its determination. "It matters not," he declared, his voice filled with conviction. "With my seed, I can give you a child, fulfill your deepest desires. You need only let me."

You stared up at him in disbelief, the weight of his words sinking in like a heavy anchor dragging you down into the depths of despair. Could it be true? Could Rasputin truly possess such power?

But as you looked into his eyes, burning with a fierce intensity that seemed to pierce through to your very soul, you knew that you had no choice but to believe. For in that moment, Rasputin was not just a man, but a force of nature, a tempest of desire and passion that threatened to consume you whole.

And as he leaned in closer, his lips hovering just inches from yours, you made a decision. With a trembling breath, you closed the distance between you, surrendering yourself to the intoxicating allure of Rasputin's embrace. For in his arms, you found not just desire, but salvation, a glimmer of hope in the darkness that surrounded you.

Rasputin moaned against your mouth, his lips hungrily seeking yours as he savored the taste of your kiss. To him, your embrace was like water in the desert, a sweet temptation that he had longed to taste. With a fierce determination, he pressed you harder against the shelf, his hands roaming over your body with an urgency that mirrored his own desires.

As the books fell around you, you grasped onto the shelf for support, one hand holding it above you while the other clutched onto Rasputin's shoulder. His touch sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you that threatened to consume your very soul.

Feeling your response, Rasputin picked you up effortlessly, his strong arms holding your thighs as he positioned himself between your legs. With a sense of surrender, you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer as you moaned his name against his lips.

"Rasputin," you whispered, the name slipping from your tongue like a prayer. "I don't know what's happening, but I want you."

Rasputin's eyes gleamed with a mix of desire and determination as he reassured you, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down your spine. "I will guide you, my dear princess," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin. "Trust in me, and I will show you pleasures beyond your wildest dreams."

With a sense of anticipation coursing through your veins, you surrendered yourself to Rasputin's embrace, allowing him to lead you into a world of forbidden desire and ecstasy. Together, you embarked on a journey of passion and exploration, each touch and caress igniting a fire within you that refused to be extinguished.

As Rasputin laid you against the table, sweeping aside the books with a careless gesture, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement mingled with trepidation. Was this how you would lose your virginity? At a table in the library, with Rasputin's hungry gaze upon you?

Your thoughts were interrupted as Rasputin pulled the front of your dress down, revealing your breasts to his hungry gaze. A blush rose to your cheeks at the sudden exposure, but Rasputin paid no mind, his lips descending upon your skin with a fervent hunger.

With a low moan, you arched your back, offering yourself to him completely as he took a breast into his mouth, his tongue flicking against your sensitive flesh in a rhythm that sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body. It was a sensation unlike anything you had ever experienced, a heady mix of pleasure and desire that threatened to overwhelm your senses.

"Rasputin," you gasped, your voice thick with need as you surrendered yourself to the ecstasy of his touch. "Please, I need you."

Rasputin grunted against your breast, his lips trailing kisses along your skin with a fervent hunger, you felt a sense of overwhelming desire coursing through your veins. His touch was like fire against your skin, igniting a passion within you that threatened to consume your very soul.

"Call me Grigori," he murmured against your skin, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down your spine. "That's my name."

You nodded, your mind clouded with desire as you struggled to comprehend the intensity of your feelings. "I... I don't know what to do," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper as you confessed your lack of knowledge to him.

Rasputin's eyes gleamed with amusement, a hint of mischief dancing in their depths as he reassured you with a gentle smile. "That's quite all right, my dear," he replied, his voice dripping with honeyed charm. "I shall teach you."

With his guidance, you helped him remove his clothes, your fingers trembling with anticipation as you undid the buttons of his tunic. As the fabric fell away, leaving him clad only in his pants and the necklace you had given him, you couldn't help but admire the sight before you.

But when Rasputin undid his pants, exposing his enormous penis wrapped in dark, coarse curls like his beard, you couldn't help but gasp in surprise and fear at its size. "Is... is it supposed to be like that?" you questioned, your eyes wide with uncertainty as you looked up at him.

Rasputin chuckled, a deep rumble of amusement that reverberated through your very core. "No, my dear princess, not all men are gifted like me," he explained, his voice a seductive purr as he took your hand and led it to his throbbing member.

With his guidance, you began to caress him, your fingers exploring every inch of his length with a curiosity that bordered on fascination. Rasputin's breath hitched with pleasure as you spread the pre-cum to lubricate it, his hips rocking against your touch in a rhythm that mirrored your own desires.

Encouraged by his response, you pressed your thumb against the small hole of his red penis, marveling at its size and texture. "It's so large," you whispered, your voice filled with wonder as you continued to explore him with a newfound sense of curiosity.

Rasputin groaned in response, his eyes dark with desire as he urged you on with a husky whisper. "Yes, my princess, it is," he murmured, his voice thick with lust as he guided your hand with a firm yet gentle touch. "But fear not, for I shall show you how to please me. Press a little harder, yes... just like that."

Emboldened by his encouragement, you pressed a little harder, feeling a surge of satisfaction as Rasputin's breath hitched in his chest. With each stroke, you became more curious, more eager to explore the depths of his desire and pleasure.

"Such a good girl," Rasputin praised, his voice a low growl that sent shivers of excitement coursing through your body

As Rasputin's penis leaked more pre-cum, you couldn't help but notice the glistening liquid coating your hand. Curiosity getting the better of you, you asked, "What is this liquid, Grigori? It's... slippery."

Rasputin took a moment to process your question, his eyes glazed with pleasure as he focused on the sensation of your hand on him. With a low chuckle, he finally responded, his voice husky with desire, "Ah, my dear princess, that is pre-cum. It's a natural lubricant that the body produces to prepare for intercourse."

Your eyes widened with surprise at his explanation, a blush creeping up your cheeks at the realization of what his body was preparing for. "I see," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you continued to stroke him, feeling the slickness of the pre-cum between your fingers.

But then, a curious glint entered your eyes as a thought occurred to you. "Do... do women produce this type of liquid too?" you questioned, a hint of innocence lacing your words.

Rasputin's eyebrows shot up in surprise at your question, his lips curling into a wicked grin as he realized where your thoughts were leading. "Oh, my princess, women have their own special way of preparing for intercourse," he replied, his voice dripping with suggestive intent. "But perhaps I should show you rather than explain."

With a sly grin, Rasputin guided your hand to the juncture between your thighs, his fingers tracing light circles against your sensitive flesh. You gasped at the sensation, a shiver running down your spine as he teased you with feather-light touches.

"Feel that, my dear?" Rasputin murmured, his voice a seductive purr as he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your earlobe. "That's your body's way of preparing for pleasure, of inviting me inside you."

You moaned softly at his words, the heat pooling between your legs as desire surged through your veins. "I... I want you, Grigori," you whispered, your voice thick with need as you surrendered yourself to the intoxicating pleasure of his touch.

Rasputin chuckled darkly, a hunger burning in his eyes as he pressed himself against you, his hardness pressing against your core. "Then let me show you, my dear princess," he murmured, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down your spine. "Let me show you how good it can feel to be mine."

He helped you remove your panties and lie down on the table. He maintained his reassuring demeanor, acknowledging the fear and uncertainty clouding your mind. With gentle yet firm hands, he positioned himself between your legs, his gaze locking with yours as he spoke with honesty and candor.

"Princess, I won't lie to you. This may hurt at first," Rasputin admitted, his voice a soothing murmur that washed over you like a warm embrace. "But as you get used to it, you may find that you enjoy it. Trust me, my dear."

With a trembling nod, you clung to his shoulders, your heart racing with a mixture of anticipation and trepidation. As Rasputin leaned down to kiss your collarbone and suck your breasts once more, you felt a surge of desire coursing through your veins, mingled with the primal fear of the unknown.

But then, with a slow and deliberate motion, Rasputin guided himself inside you, his entry careful yet determined. As he predicted, you felt a sharp pain rippling through your body, causing tears to well up in your eyes as you cried out in discomfort.

"Please, Rasputin, it hurts," you whimpered, your voice trembling with anguish as you clung to him for support. "Make it stop."

Rasputin's heart ached at the sight of your tears, but he knew that he had to be strong for both of you. With a hoarse voice filled with reassurance, he whispered words of comfort as he continued to sink deeper into you, his movements slow and deliberate.

"It will get better, my dear. I promise," Rasputin murmured, his breath hot against your skin as he brushed away your tears with gentle kisses. "Just hold on to me, and trust in the pleasure that awaits you."

Despite the pain, you found solace in Rasputin's words, clinging to him with a fierce determination as you surrendered yourself to the intoxicating pleasure of his touch. With each thrust, the pain began to subside, replaced by a faint glimmer of pleasure that stirred something deep within your soul.

And then, as if by magic, you felt a shift in sensation, a spark of pleasure igniting within you as Rasputin's penis brushed against a sensitive spot deep inside your core. With a gasp of surprise, you realized that the pain was fading, replaced by a growing sense of pleasure that threatened to consume your very being.

"Grigori," you moaned, your voice thick with desire as you wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer with each thrust. "Don't stop, please."

Rasputin groaned in response, his movements becoming more urgent as he surrendered himself to the primal hunger that burned within him. With each thrust, he felt himself drawn deeper into you, his desire mingling with yours in a frenzy of passion and ecstasy.

"Gods, you feel so good, my dear," Rasputin murmured, his voice thick with desire as he buried himself deeper inside you. "So tight, so hot. I never want to leave this place."

You moaned in response, the scrape of his penis against your pussy sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. It was a sensation unlike anything you had ever experienced, a heady mix of pleasure and desire that threatened to overwhelm your senses.

As Rasputin increased his thrusts, making the cross of his necklace bang against your chin with each movement, he seemed to go wild, his baritone voice filled with a mix of desire and desperation. "Oh, my sweet temptation," he groaned, his words punctuated by ragged gasps of pleasure. "I'll fill you with my babies, hmm? You'll carry my seed, my mark, deep inside you."

His messy hair and beard framed his face as he leaned in closer, his hooked nose brushing against your cheek as he whispered in your ear. "Your pussy, my dear princess, it's the best I've ever had. So sweet, so tight. You're mine now, mine alone."

With each thrust, Rasputin's desires grew more fervent, his promises of pleasure and fulfillment becoming more explicit with each passing moment. "I'll give you everything you want, everything you desire," he murmured, his voice thick with desire. "I'll put the world at your feet, my dear. Just let me fill you, claim you as mine."

Rasputin slowed his movements, allowing you to savor the sensation of his cock dragging inside you. He gazed into your eyes with a mixture of desire and curiosity. His baritone voice was thick with anticipation as he posed the question that hung heavy in the air between you.

"Do you want my baby, my princess?" Rasputin whispered, his breath hot against your skin as he waited for your response. "Only I can give you that. Only I can fill you with my seed."

Your heart raced at his words, a mixture of desire and fear swirling within you as you struggled to find the words to respond. But before you could form a coherent thought, a whimper escaped your lips, a desperate plea for the fulfillment that only Rasputin could provide.

"Yes," you whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper as you clung to him, your nails digging into his back as you surrendered yourself to the overwhelming pleasure of the moment. "Yes, Rasputin, please. I don't want to be barren. I don't want to be a useless woman."

But Rasputin silenced your fears with a trail of kisses down your chin to your ear, his lips brushing against your skin as he declared his intentions with a fervent determination.

"You are not useless to me, my dear," Rasputin murmured, his voice laced with sincerity as he held you close, his arms enveloping you in a comforting embrace. "I will put a baby inside you. I will give you as many children as you want, whatever you desire. For now, you are mine, my sweet temptation."

With each word, Rasputin's desires grew more fervent, his promises of pleasure and fulfillment echoing in the air around you. And as he closed his lips around your nipple, sucking greedily at your sweet breasts, you couldn't help but moan in ecstasy, lost in the overwhelming sensation of his touch.

"Such sweet breasts," Rasputin murmured between sucks, his voice thick with desire as he reveled in the pleasure of your virgin flesh. "So untouched, so pure. You are mine now, my dear. Mine to mold, mine to possess."

But then, in the midst of his ecstasy, Rasputin's pleasure was interrupted by a sudden scream of pain as his hair was yanked back and he was thrown onto the floor. With a startled cry, he looked up to see the king, your father, standing over him with a look of rage in his eyes.

"Father, no!" you screamed in shame, covering your breasts with your arms as you rushed to his side, only to be met with a sharp slap that sent you sprawling to the ground with a cry of pain.

"Silence, you wretched girl!" the king thundered, his voice filled with contempt as he glared down at you. "You are no daughter of mine, no princess of this kingdom. You are nothing but a disgrace, a stain upon our noble bloodline."

As your father's foot connected with your side, stealing the air from your lungs and leaving you gasping for breath, Rasputin roared in fury, his voice reverberating off the walls of the library. "How dare you touch my sweet temptation!" he thundered, his eyes blazing with a fierce intensity.

With a primal growl, Rasputin launched himself at the king, his hands curled into fists as he sought to strike back against the man who dared to harm you. But the guards were quick to react, their grip tightening around Rasputin's arms as they delivered swift kicks to his legs, forcing him to his knees before the king.

"What do you think you're doing, Rasputin?" the king demanded, his voice laced with contempt as he glared down at the fallen man. "How dare you lay a hand on my daughter? I've heard rumors of your depravity, but I never expected such audacity from you."

Rasputin's nostrils flared with anger as he struggled against the guards, his eyes never leaving the king's face. "She is mine," he declared, his voice a low growl that sent shivers down your spine. "And I will not let anyone stand in the way of what is rightfully mine."

As the king's fist collided with Rasputin's jaw, the sound of bone meeting bone echoed through the library, followed by a low grunt of pain from Rasputin. You screamed from the ground, begging your father to stop, tears streaming down your face as you pleaded for mercy, but the king ignored you, his gaze fixed on Rasputin with a mixture of contempt and rage.

Ignoring your cries, the king grabbed a handful of Rasputin's hair, yanking his head back with a cruel force that made blood trickle down from Rasputin's nose. With a sneer of disgust, the king leaned in close, his voice dripping with disdain as he delivered his ultimatum.

"Leave this kingdom, Rasputin," the king spat, his breath hot against Rasputin's face. "Or I'll have you killed like the vermin you are."

Rasputin's eyes blazed with defiance, his voice a low growl of anger. "I'll go nowhere without her," he declared, his baritone voice resonating with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. "She belongs to me, and I will not leave her behind."

The king's lips curled into a sneer of contempt as he pushed Rasputin away, his eyes narrowing with suspicion. "She is of no use to me," he scoffed, his voice filled with disdain. "But she is certainly not yours to claim."

Rasputin's gaze darkened with a hint of menace, his voice low and dangerous. "I will have her, one way or another," he threatened, his eyes flashing with an otherworldly intensity. "And if you stand in my way, I will unleash a curse upon this kingdom that will make your blood run cold."

Suddenly, the air in the library grew thick with a palpable tension, the lights dimming as if a shadow had fallen over the room. Books tumbled from their shelves, glass shattered on the floor, and a bone-chilling cold swept through the air, causing the king and his guards to recoil in fear.

With a triumphant smirk, Rasputin raised his hand, his voice echoing with a dark power as he summoned forth the spirits of the unseen world. "Feel the wrath of the unseen," he intoned, his voice a haunting melody that sent shivers down your spine. "And know that I am not to be trifled with."

As the king and his guards stumbled back in fear, the guards holding Rasputin suddenly began to choke, their faces turning purple as if they were being deprived of air.

"You see, Your Majesty," Rasputin murmured, his voice dripping with malice. "You cannot control me. I am beyond your reach, beyond your power. And now, I demand that you give her to me. She belongs to me, body and soul."

The king's face contorted with rage as he stared at Rasputin, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "Never," he spat, his voice filled with fury. "She is my daughter, and I will not let her fall into the clutches of a madman like you."

Rasputin chuckled darkly, his eyes gleaming with a sinister intensity as he gazed down at the king, who was now struggling to breathe. "You should have listened to reason, Your Majesty," Rasputin sneered, his voice dripping with malice. "But now, you shall pay the price for your arrogance."

With a swift motion, Rasputin closed his fist, his fingers curling into a tight grip as he exerted his will upon the king. The air grew thick with a suffocating pressure, and the king fell to his knees, his hands clawing at his neck as he gasped for air.

You, still recovering from the shock of the confrontation, scrambled to your feet, your dress now hastily arranged as you rushed to your father's side. "Father, please!" you cried, tears streaming down your face as you tried to help him. "Stop this, Grigori!"

But Rasputin paid you no heed, his eyes fixed on the king as he continued to exert his dark power. "You dare to defy me, Your Majesty?" Rasputin growled, his voice low and menacing. "You are but a puppet in my hands, a pawn in my game."

As the king's struggles grew weaker, you found yourself torn between loyalty to your father and fear of Rasputin's wrath. Desperate to save your father, you crawled on your knees to Rasputin, your heart pounding with a mixture of dread and determination.

"Please, Rasputin," you begged, your voice trembling with emotion as you clutched his hand, pleading for mercy. "He's my father. I can't bear to see him suffer. Please, spare him."

For a moment, Rasputin hesitated, his intense gaze softening as he looked at you, his sweet temptation, pleading for mercy. The memory of his promise to give you anything you desired flashed through his mind, and with a sigh, he relented, his grip on your hand loosening.

"It's okay," he murmured, his baritone voice a soothing balm against the chaos surrounding you. "I won't kill your father."

You breathed a sigh of relief, tears still streaming down your face as you clung to Rasputin, grateful for his mercy. Behind you, your father coughed and struggled to catch his breath, the tension in the room slowly dissipating as Rasputin picked up his pants from the floor, hastily putting them on.

As Rasputin grabbed your hand, determination burning in his eyes, he gestured for you to follow him. "Come, my dear," he urged, his voice urgent yet reassuring. "We must leave before your father calls for the guards."

Your father, still catching his breath, shouted breathlessly for the guards as Rasputin pulled you along, running through the halls towards the stables. With each step, your heart raced with a mixture of fear and excitement, knowing that your fate was now intertwined with Rasputin's.

As you reached the stables, Rasputin quickly assessed the situation, his eyes scanning the rows of horses for the fastest steed. Spotting a sleek black stallion in the corner, he wasted no time in approaching it, his movements confident and purposeful.

"This one," Rasputin declared, his voice authoritative as he reached out to stroke the horse's mane. "He will do."

With practiced ease, Rasputin saddled the horse, his movements swift and efficient as he prepared to make his escape. As he helped you onto the horse's back, he climbed up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist in a protective embrace.

"Hold on tight, my dear," Rasputin murmured, his voice low and reassuring as he urged the horse into a gallop. "We have a long journey ahead of us, but together, we will overcome whatever challenges lie in our path."

And as the horse galloped away from the castle, Rasputin's arm tightened around your waist, pulling you close to him as you clung to him for dear life. With each beat of the horse's hooves against the ground, you felt yourself leaving behind the chaos and danger of the castle, riding towards an uncertain future with Rasputin by your side.

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Hello! Firstly I wanted to say that I'm an old fan since your overwatch days and I've always admired how much depth you're giving all the characters and relationships you touch! I'm talking like, mariana trench DEPTHS. And how confident you seem about just doing the things you enjoy and exploring the themes you want? I really respect that.

I'm having a bit of an art crisis recently and I was wondering If you could offer some advice?

I'm thinking about self-indulgence in art, particularly fanart. I like to dive in deep to expand on characters, I find it as enjoyable as creating my own work. But I fear of people getting angry at me for latching onto these characters, thay they'll say the original work wasn't THAT deep, or that I'm completely wrong or cringe or whatever. And I don't care about being right or anything, I just want to have fun here and tell my little stories? :( The fear is making me keep the work to myself and I don't know what to do. Would it be better to just enjoy it on my own?

Your blog really is goals when it comes to that, so I'll respect your opinion a lot. Thank you for your time!

holy moly thank you so much for your sincerity first of all!! Second, this is making me misty eyed ngl!! I have alot to say about this so i shall put it under a read more bc im gonna ramble

If someone cares about you fixating on your fave characters, then they're usually the fucking weirdos in this situation if they dont just block you and move on. I LOVE making shit up about my faves like i have a modern au hc that kakashi and gai are ddr competition rivals and i gave yeehan 7 dogs just for funsies!! we were in the trenches in early overwatch making up our own lore bc there was none and it was so fun

I've always been like that now that i look back bc when i first started uploading my shitty ms paint fanart on deviant art in like 2006(naruto funnily enough we've come full circle) i was still drawing cringey shit /I/ wanted to see. I don't agree with almost all of it today, but i remember the fun i had while making it, and that's really the trick. Drawing what you personally want to see then people can come and go audience wise. If they like it, they like it, if they dont? oh well! There's people who still follow me from when i was 14 and i follow them even tho we're in completely different spaces now.

The fanart part i vibe with personally bc im really bad at coming up with totally original work and premises. i much prefer having pre-established rules and worlds to work with (plus the characters i love getting massacred in the writing i HAVE to save them)

Just existing online will garner you mean comments or asks, and my best advice is its not worth it to take the bait even if its absolutely absurd and wrong, i just block and go now, and im much happier :) this all being, of course, as long as what you're doing isnt harmful, bc even with good intentions, you'll mess up/blunder eventually. If the heat gets too much for you, no one will judge you for withdrawing your art from social media. thats a perfectly safe thing to do to keep it for yourself.

As an adult, shits not that serious im 28 drawing naruto fanart bc it makes me happy after a long day of work, so have fun!! art's supposed to be fun don't let the fear win i love sharing my art with strangers on the internet!! Hope this made any sense at all and I wish you the best, my friend!!! If you ever wanna dm me, feel free

[miitarashi]

Can u write Tintin being the bottom?☕ If you don't fell comfortable with that ignore the request

Hm,not gonna lie here dear unknow person,it'll be quite the challenge,but luckly you! I do have some little ideas about him like this so, let's dive in shall we?

[Name] = reader (neutral since it wasn't specified)

Warnings: If i get it right,this one will be a little nsfw,but i'll do like the other,more like a headcanon list. Be aware dear persons! If you don't like this type of content feel free to not read ok? Making it clear. It's my opinion here. And i would love knowing about yours in the comments!

✨Tintin as a bottom✨

Let's begin with the fact that (for me) he's a switch and always let you have your way about it,so if you feel a bit more...

Top this time,he'll happily obligue.

This man just want to please you as much he can.

Tease him is pretty easy because

✨Thigh kink✨

Show them off and this man will follow you like a lost puppy.

If you don't let him touch them,he'll nod and stop trying,but when you keep walking around in front of him,capturing his eyes every now and then,you'll feel his stare.

Letting the obvious teasing aside,go for his neck.

Small kisses, light bite and scratchs with your nails or teeth. If you want him bitting his bottom lips and letting that deep sigh?

Collarbone. Just a bit lower. Sweet spot for sure.

Do it while moving your hand down. At this point he's melting on your touches and will probably try to hide what you did to him.

But hey,you're a good person and partner! So of course you help him.

When you begin working your hand down on him,after all the tease you'll have a pretty needy Tintin on your hands.

He'll try,very little,to supress his sounds,but soon enough...

"[Name]...Darling, please...don't- don't stop...!"

If you use your mouth? Damm,trying to kill him??

He do like the praise too,since he's a good boy he deserve the praises!

Favorite one? "Eyes on me"

Try me and fail.

If you riding or topping him and for a moment he look away or close his eyes,trying to hold as much longer he can. Stop moving,say it and enjoy those beautiful blue pleading eyes focused on you and on your body moving on him.

The results of it?

"D-darling...i-"

"Keep looking Tintin...eyes on me..."

"Darling...P-please stop...i can't- s-stop...stop please!-"

He still trying,but having you on top like this was too much for our precious boy.

Along the whole thing you'll never stop hearing he saying how beautiful you look. Again,he is a worshiper.

Even when you two finish,he'll still insist on taking care of you after,so basically you two take care of one another to make things fair.

Make him breakfast and bring it for him in the morning after and you'll have a happy smile on his cute face. Precious🥹❤️

Fun fact: Tintin is cynical,so expect him taking advantage of a situation similar to make you feel the same as he did. But of course. It wasn't on purpose,it was an accident that coincidentally the same thing end up happening 😉

___________________________________________

A/N: sorry if it is too short,i don't have so much headcanons about this. Probably because i'm the bottom one and bottom with other bottom don't make a top you know? But! I really hope i did justice for your request! And don't worry,i didn't feel uncomfortable,just a bit difficult to find the things to write but it was fun regardless!

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

please support this blog

🦇 It Happened One Summer Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD What's your go-to summer read?❓ 🦇 Hollywood's It-Girl Piper Bellinger is the paparazzi's beloved wild child. There's always the promise she'll go a bit too far for the Gram, including hosting a rooftop party that lands her in jail after a bad breakup. Hoping she'll learn some sense of responsibility, her wealthy step-father ships her off to her late father's dive bar in the small town of Westport. She's not there for five minutes before she meets grumpy sea captain Brendan, and the two instantly clash. Will Piper reconnect with her past (charting a course for a new future in the process) or can she get back to LA before the end of her three-month sentence?

💜 Despite how much my beloved Booksta girlies adore her writing, I honestly didn't know what to expect from Tessa Bailey (and I'm glad, because I love shaping my own opinions). From chapter one, there's this instantly familiar yet distinct voice that SCREAMS chick-flick rom-com (with Kesha playing at full volume in the background). Piper is Alexis from Schitt's Creek meets Elle Woods ala Legally Blonde. She's vibrant and bubbly and yes, a little ditzy, but after a few chapters, you start to love her for the heart behind it. Brendan is all salt water and deep grumbles, strong yet stuck in his ways. My latest concern with rom-coms lately has been a lack of chemistry. Too many books rush to the smut, forcing two characters to fit when they just don't. Chemistry sparks off the page pretty quickly between these two, though--not in lingering glances, but in actions. Brendan has memory foam installed over a bunkbed so Piper can stop bruising herself. He changes her locks because everyone in Westport has a key to her building. It's not insta-love (but once things progress, these two burn HOT), and I'm grateful for that.

💜 It's the underlying messages that bumped this up to a rare 3.5 stars. People have been putting Piper into a box for too long, telling her she's just like every other girl in LA, that she won't amount to more. Brendan shows her she has so much more to give than she realizes. We start adoring Piper through Brendan, and that's a powerful thing. Meanwhile, Piper recognizes her worth and accomplishes far more than she thought herself capable. There's an underlying theme of guilt and grief from both sides, too; Piper for her late father, and Brendan for his late wife. They heal together and end up stronger for it.

💙 It's the third act that made my star rating falter. Piper clinging to pieces of her past, that lingering what-if of falling back into her comfort zone and old ways--Brendan shouldn't have faulted her for that, turning it into a blowout fight when Piper admitted EARLIER that she didn't know what to do. After that, it's a number of conveniently placed obstacles that keep them apart. Piper's sudden decision to go back to LA felt out of place given her character development, too. Though it wasn't a full third-act breakup, it was enough to feel exhausting.

🦇 Recommended for fans of Emily Henry, Ali Hazelwood, and Hannah Grace.

✨ The Vibes ✨ ⚓ Small Town Romance ⚓ Contemporary Romance ⚓ Schitt's Creek Inspired ⚓ Grumpy/Sunshine ⚓ Opposites Attract ⚓ First in a Duology ⚓ He Falls First

💬 Quotes ❝ I can be in a room full of people that I know & still not feel like I belong. ❞ ❝ This girl. He'd be keeping her. There was no way around it. ❞ ❝ Apparently he enjoyed that now. Being confused & charmed & pulled apart over this woman. ❞ ❝ "I like the things that make you Piper. Don't go changing them now. ❞

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

sorry to message but i just wanted to yell because I saw a post and yOU’RE THE AUTHOR OF FALLOUT FROM THE FADE ???? oh my goodness it’s my favourite fic ive read it SO many times.

i left a comment on ao3 last night because i finished reading it again and i just genuinely hope one day you finish it (i understand you have much going on i am just greedy).

but yes thank you so much for creating it, fenris and hawke are everything to me and this fic is my canon no matter what happens in veilguard. 💜

hahaha HELLO yes that is indeed I... I guess i do owe a little bit of an explanation here since its been uh... like 4 years since I last updated, yeah :| But it still makes me so happy that even after so long people still enjoy my little pile of suffering and yearning!

I don't know how many people who used to follow it are still on tumblr (I think a lot of people i used to write with/who would comment have deleted their tumblrs and AO3 accounts in the intervening years alas) but i do I owe anyone remaining a little context I guess lol. Long story made short is like very shortly after my last update i got broken up with unexpectedly from my 4 year relationship, and went into a bit of a spiral about it. I didn't fully stop writing at this point (though I think nothing I wrote in that like... year or more ended up posted anywhere), but I did realize that when I went to work on my ongoing stuff I was in a place where I was like... only wanting to write about anger/losing relationships rather than healing ones. And that part of me wanted to change some of the things I had planned for the following parts and ending of Fallout From the Fade. And so I decided to take a step back from it for a while to see if I actually wanted to make those changes when I was less bitter or if I wanted to follow my original plan.

And that took me about a year, emotionally. However by then I had actually left my prior job (where I spent a lot of time hiking/camping in the wilderness of Utah with no internet, and I used that time for writing), and started graduate school courses. Aaaannnd grad school has been slowly eating my life since. I've only posted I think one other fanfic since then, and it was a very short prose-poem one shot. Another contributing factor was my gaming tech was too old to actually play Trespasser when it came out, and by the time I got a laptop that could handle it, I had to replay the whole game but I was working full time, etc... and i felt really disconnected from the DA fandom since I couldn't read all the new fic/understand all the lore deep dive posts/experience it with everyone else simultaneously. Oh yeah and I work a second job as a professional mermaid in varying degrees of intensity depending on the season/oportunties available haha.

All that being said. I actually have written more of FFtF in the last 2 years. But like I said in the other post I made kinda recently, the long gaps between my later updates (vs the ones I was doing way more regularly in 2016-2018) had me rethink the approach I was using to write and post it, which was a chapter at a time. It felt like stringing people along in kind of a mean way to dump a chapter and then vanish for another year, and I knew I couldn't promise consistency while doing a masters/PhD program. So I've been kind of fiddling away at it slowly still, both actual writing of following chapters, and some substantial firming up/drafting sections in my outline to get to the eventual ending and ensure it's more cohesive than a lot of my slapdash chapters. But! Idk! I do also def work slower without the fun of having an audience, and miss that. and I never actually asked of the people who are left and still wanna read more of it, if they'd rather just get a chapter every 6 months or so as I scrounge it out. If you are one of those people and have an opinion def let me know.

I will say, the imminent presence of Veilguard does have me more inspired and creative again, and some of that has been going to Fallout. Especially since I'm no longer watching the videos/gameplay bioware is putting out since they have SOOO many spoilers and I wanna go into the game at least semi blind, so my creative energy has to go towards my personal stuff rather than joining everyone else in speculation and hype now. I'm definitely not promising I will have it close to finished by October when Veilguard releases, because I'm still in grad school and the next months are busy for me in terms of mermaid work too, but I am hoping I can make some good chunks of progress between now and then. But then if I say that and can't follow through after all I also don't wanna let people down.

Anyway yeah, it's sort of a lot of conflicting thoughts. But I'm still rotating Hawke and Fenris and this fic in my mind even these years later... which for me is honestly pretty normal. I mean I have whole original novels/worldbuilding ideas/etc that I've worked on for 10-15 years in my own time haha, I've been writing fiction for fun since I was like 10, so I think I also just think of stories/writing across a bigger timeline than people who start writing with fanfiction (which is MUCH faster paced) than original fiction. The difference of course is no one sees my original stuff so there's no one to care if i take 2 years between chunks of progress. SO I guess what I am trying to say is, yes definitely it is not abandoned, I am plodding away at it bit by bit, I also hope I can finish it one day!!!! that is within this decade i hope! whether or not anyone else is left to read it but me haha

[married-2-the-music]

K-pop Discography Deep Dives: BTS (Part TWO)

A Disclaimer: I was planning, when I first started Tumblr, to be a lurker, but then I began an office job and needed something to listen to to keep myself occupied. And then, I started going through entire K-pop groups’ repertoires, album by album, and jotting down my thoughts. And then, I stumbled into K-pop tumblr and decided, you know what, there’s at least four people on this hell site who would read in depth rants about these discographies and at least five who wouldn’t read it and then get mad because it’s kind of our job as K-pop fans. My lukewarm takes should be taken with an entire silo of salt and the knowledge that this is completely for fun and occupying my very bored, very neurodivergent brain. All this to say, for the love of god, I’m a sleep-deprived student and I don’t have time for internet hate, so don’t kill me. With that being said, enjoy!

So, my credentials: I’ve got nothing this time, folks. I’m not an Army; I’m too casual to even be a casual fan. I like most of what I’ve heard, based on friend recommendations, but I have no idea how representative of their work the songs I’ve heard are. I know the group members’ names, but barely anything about them, although I’m always open to learning more. The reason I wanted to do this deep dive is because I’ve been a k-pop fan for almost five years now and I’ve heard every opinion between “BTS is the second coming of Christ” and “BTS is responsible for the collapse of society,” and I want to make up my own mind, free of influence.

Since BTS has over 200 songs, I’m also doing short supplementals each week, both to give myself and you guys a break and to look at groups / soloists with discographies too short to need a full week (because this is gonna be a dissertation and I’ll have to separate it into two parts). So, grab your lightstick, get some ice cream, steal a fluffy dog, and settle in folks. Let’s do this.

We left off just before You Never Walk Alone, and Blood, Sweat, and Tears. I was surprised on first listen of this one, because I don’t quite know how to classify it; it’s too calm to be one of their more bombastic songs and too loud to be one of their calmer ones. I’m just not sure what to say about it, to be honest. I don’t hate it but I don’t like it either. I like the instrumental and the elegance of some of its quieter moments but as I’ve stated ad nauseum, empty, chanty choruses are one of my song pet peeves, and I just can’t get into a song with it.

So then, we have Spring Day. I also don’t know what to say about this one, for the complete opposite reason. It’s the other one of BTS’ songs in my Top 25 K-pop songs, and I admit it; I find it almost impossible to be objective when I go “aww” the second I hear the opening notes. It’s melancholy and contemplative, wistful and pained, hopeful and tragic. The lyrics are honestly beautiful and such a raw expression of grief that it’s the kind of song you need to sit with for a minute before moving on.

I, like most people, have someone I love deeply that this song reminds me of, and it always makes me appreciate life just a little more every time I give it a listen. It’s perfect, but you don’t need me to tell you that. Go take a deep breath and watch the music video for yourself.

Not Today’s opening is…not for me, and feels especially harsh after the beauty that is Spring Day. I do really enjoy the pre-chorus, although I admit that I appreciate more than like the song as a whole. But, it has so much energy and drive it’s hard not to be pulled along for the ride. For the album as a whole, I really enjoyed seeing the variety in all of the solos, and although the one I liked the best was Stigma, I enjoyed the cinematic opening and the odd vocalizing of Lie and the slightly jazzy vibe of Mama too.

I’ve mentioned that I liked Taehyung’s voice before, but I really loved it in Stigma. He goes between whispering and half-wailing so well, and his voice carries so much emotion that I found myself swept up in it too. And of course, as a queer woman myself, the plaintive apologies and constant reference to “sins” make me wince in sympathy, although I have no idea if that’s the intended meaning.

On to an odyssey of a repackage album in Love Yourself: Answer, starting with Euphoria. At first, I was worried that the chorus would be empty, but the post-chorus assuaged my worries. I like the instrumental, especially the mix of the gentle guitar and the electronic twinkling (I don’t know how else to word it). The song’s overall not my favorite of theirs but a nice breather, upbeat and wispy, and the music video definitely made me smile, so props to them!

DNA continues the wispy, upbeat guitar trend, with whistling thrown in for good measure and making a nice contrast. I love the sprawling quality of the chorus, although I wish that the slight post-chorus at the end of the song continued through the rest of it, as I think it would make it live up more to the greatness that is the pre-chorus, which I don’t quite think it does. Although, I’m aware that that’s more personal preference than anything else. I think this one is my favorite single from the album.

Idol has an interesting beat and a good message. I’m sure it’d be a great song to run or dance to, and I do understand why people like it. I found myself tapping my head during the post-chorus, which I did enjoy. It’s just not for me, with its constant rapping and such a chanty chorus. Something about it just doesn’t feel like it works, although I could see it growing on me if I gave it more listens.

Mic Drop is even more not for me, to no one’s surprise. Unlike with Idol, where I could appreciate but not like it, I didn’t enjoy any part of this one and I found it grating on my ears. Again, I acknowledge that this is due to personal pet peeves more than anything, but it bears repeating that even if I can note the talent in something, that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Overall though, I quite liked this album. The trilogy (if you will) of Serendipity (I love the guitar), Singularity (Taehyung’s vocal control is impressive), and Epiphany (I’ll talk more about it in a minute) is lovely, down to the names themselves. I also enjoyed Answer: Love Myself and although the song itself isn’t my style, I appreciated the unique lyrics of Anpanman.

Epiphany is definitely my favorite, though. It starts with a soft piano and strings, then slowly builds to become a quietly powerful song about the strength that it takes to wake up every morning and keep going, even when it seems impossible. It’s a topic that is near and dear to my heart, and I don’t think enough songs address it. I love how something about it feels cyclical, just like its meaning, and Jin’s voice communicates it so honestly that I completely understand why so many people have connected to this song.

Black Swan starts with a unique harp (?) that gives a sharp contrast to the more hard-hitting beat and electronic production layered over it. I want to like it more than I actually do, because there are so many interesting ideas in it but none of them are given time to breathe or developed enough to make the song stand out. I don’t really have an opinion in a way, because it doesn’t feel quite finished to me.

Boy With Luv surprised me with how much I actually liked it. Halsey’s voice works very well in it (though, as a fan of hers, I wish she had a little more to do) and it was a little toothless compared to other singles of theirs (and hers, for that matter), but I loved the pre-chorus. Overall, it’s fun! It’s not ending up on my Top 10 Lists but I didn’t skip it nor did I want to.

ON has a great build up and finally is one of their more EDM songs with a good payoff after it, moving like a marching band with the background drums. I quite liked this one; it marries their more ethereal and electronic style and their more harsh and dark style together in what turns out to be a great combo. I especially enjoyed the bridge and the pre-chorus, proof that I can enjoy chanting if it comes in concert with other things too.

On Map Of The Soul: 7, I liked most of the songs, including Filter, 00:00, Moon, Louder Than Bombs (especially the “louder than bombs, I sing”), and Inner Child. But, my favorite was Friends. If you’re a fan of them, you might think I’ve been harsh in my reviews, but I want to say that’s mostly because when I know what groups are capable of and they don’t strive for it, it feels like a missed opportunity. Like NCT Dream, I think that BTS’ best songs are when they let the cool facade fade away and sing (and write) from the heart, which is exactly what Friends is.

Look, I’m a sap. It’s a gently anthemic, almost sickeningly sweet song about Taehyung and Jimin’s friendship that doesn’t just wear its heart on its sleeve, but screams about it from the balcony. Of course I replayed it three times and kept going “awww” every ten seconds. I was doing work at my desk and once it got to the “you are my soulmate” part, I suddenly got the urge to text my own soulmate friend and tell her how much I love her. Which I did.

Life Goes On is understated and feels a bit more like a b-side, but it’s honestly so sweet that I like this one too. It feels like a warm hug, and I don't even mind the rap, because it’s miles ahead of the ones in calm songs from the beginning. I already knew this song too, but in context with the rest of their discography, I enjoyed it more. Having spent this review and the last going through Everests of albums, BE is almost scarily short. That being said, I did enjoy the guitar in Dis-ease, and I especially appreciated the throwback to the skits of the first few albums in Skit, a good return to form.

Alright. Enough of the hearts and flowers, I have a confession to make. I hate Dynamite. I know that I don’t have any actually valid reasons for this, because I know it’s a good song. But, as I said in the disclaimer, I’ve been a k-pop fan for almost five years now and since the time this song came out, it’s become people’s reference point for BTS, which is already wrong, and then it becomes their reference point for k-pop, which never fails to get under my skin.

It’s not BTS’ fault that so many English-speaking people see a song specifically designed to appeal to an English speaking market, and then refuse to do any effort to look beyond it, but it drives me insane nonetheless. I’m sure that if it wasn’t to that level of fame that I’d feel the same way about it that I do about Boy With Luv. My thoughts are the same for Dynamite, Butter, and Permission To Dance, so I’ll spare you the repetition.

I’m going to end not with my irrational hatred of Dynamite but with a note that I really enjoyed the song they released with their Best Of album, “Yet To Come,” although I don’t think it was a single. I won’t go into too much detail but I did think that it was very sweet and a good thing to end on.

So, overall thoughts: I’m very glad I did this. I’m glad that I took the time to make up my own mind and recognize that I was doing what I just called out all the people who assume that Dynamite is every k-pop song ever, and assuming that I wouldn’t enjoy this deep dive. I’m extremely happy to say that they proved me wrong. I can’t call myself a fan, exactly, but I can say that I respect their talents (and their humor) much more than I did before this. I always watch an interview when I’m typing up this last part, and I might even watch more than one this time. We’ll see.

My top 5 songs are, to no one’s surprise, Spring Day, Friends, Butterfly, Epiphany, and Life Goes On, with a special shout out to Paldongangsan and War Of Hormone. BTS gets a 8.5/10 from me, the same as (G)I-DLE and NCT Dream, which I definitely didn’t see coming. I enjoyed the greater part of their discography, and of the songs I didn’t like, it was usually personal preference or bias and not any fault of the songs themselves. Once we get to 9/10 and beyond, it gets firmly into the land of what are my own absolute favorite groups (like, say, Gfriend), so I can’t really rate them any higher.

I’ll see you very soon for a quick girl group supplemental and next week for a longer girl group! Tschüss!

[river-muse]

So, I've started my Not a Savior, Not a Human series reread, however, currently my access to ao3 is a bit limited, I hope you don't mind if I drop something like a comment here instead? If you'd prefer it up on ao3, I understand and will post it there. For now, Happy New Year to you, and here's notes for the To our desperation:

The growth Vergil did in the background is immense, Dadgil very strong and prominent 10/10 on the softness meter. It is also abundantly clear the twins are, as they always have been, on their immediate and perfectly tuned personal wavelength. Multiple important things are conveyed through body language and gestures alone between the two, and when not - they have an unspoken agreement on child-safe and not-even-between-the-two-safe topics they can and can't cover.

Dante is mostly the goof we know and love, and he's great. Big hat's off to you for clearly assessing him as a big danger still, as the chapter's are from Vergil's POV and the two do have their rivalry and sights trained on each other constantly. I bet the only reason he was up for a fight with Vergil there, was because he saw an easy win in their 'terms over child interaction' negotiations, and really needed to blow off some steam. Love the clear surprise on his face in the morning, when he had to realise that the previous evening was not just wishful thinking, plus the revelation that Vergil trusted him with Nero. That was adorable, it's also probably the source of the later 'you really care about him, he's not just an heir to you' comment - Dante had an easier time believing that Vergil didn't care that much about Nero and so left him with Dante (did he wander if his brother would return), than believing Vergil cared for Nero very very much And he entrusted his beloved son to Dante. Ah, defense mechanisms, defence mechanisms)

Also, again, your Vergil game is precious here. It's not just the softness,

(although his interactions with Nero are all gems, and don't seem out of character at all, as most Dadgil fics tend to do in my opinion, here it's clearly written that Nero is just (1) little window Vergil feels safe enough to show his love through, even his trust and love for his own twin are a scrambled mess in comparison, he needs this)

it's also how he notices every single little thing about their 'intrusion' into Dante's home (that pool table dent, Vergil my man, you are the first to point out any junk and garbage in Dante's home yet this one bothers you). And the 'weaker link' line was the brightest indicator there, even Dante shut up at that one. Not sure if Vergil realised how much of a giveaway that was.

So yeah, this first entry into the series is extremely strong and has a ton of nuance under it, that even without the very promising 'twins learn to communicate using Nero as their little precious middleman' setup, the foundation laid in this chapter just hooks you right up. Amazing job on this, strong begining like this is very hard to nail.

Oh you are ABSOLUTELY allowed to send comments and deep-dive analyses here!! This is going on the Fridge(the AU tag AND a new tag for me so I can read it later and giggle while twirling my hair) because WOW I'm floored at how in depth you went!

I absolutely LOVE writing subtleties in Dante and Vergil interacting with each other because it opens up the space for them to either read the other like an open book or get it wrong but be 100% convinced of what they've assumed which affects their interactions after. As much as they WANT to be brotherly again there's so much sitting between them because of time apart and what's happened. People change over the course of years and they're no exceptions as much as they have iconic personality traits. The flavor just changes but the core stays the same.

I have So Much that I hide between the lines in this series and it's exciting that I'll get to see what you pick up on! Enjoy the rest of your reading, and I'm super excited to see your next comment! Happy new year <3

[icanseethefuture333]

omg hi, can u do a reading on doja cat please... why whyy was she in those racial in*el chatrooms 😭 do u think she was bullied for being black/biracial when she was younger and bc of her dad not being present or something? ugh and her groomer bf. ugh crazy bc she has so much potential and talent to be even bigger imo. ugh doja 😭😭

This is such a good question because I was just thinking about how much I miss Doja's Hot Pink era 🤔 that was such an exciting time to witness as a fan! Her Scarlet era would of been much more enjoyable for me if she wasn't involved in so many controversies. I used to be a huge fan of her, but Doja's atttiude lately is just plain nasty. To answer your question about my opinion and everything. I believe Doja grew up in the suburbs and most poc can tell you that living in predominantly white spaces it is very racist and you will encounter microaggressions on a daily basis. Doja said that in her youth she didn't really have many friends and her brother would tease her for it. So I believe her feeling the need to turn to the internet and everything for finding a safe space would make sense? People also forget to realize that Doja isn't just a black/biracial girl, she is also neurodivergent. When you're black, alt, queer, have adhd/autism, etc. People are gonna perceive you as "weird" or you don't "belong". So I do think her having a absent father + living around mostly white people could of greatly affected Doja's self asteem. However, I don't believe her past justifies her current actions to this day. I won't dive too deep into someone's personal trauma because it's not my place and it's not something I personally like to do because not only does it make me uncomfortable but it's also unethical and immoral, but I can do my best to do a reading on why... Doja is the way she is.

Doja Cat behind the scenes: Amala

Personality

I think the small bits of her we see on live is really how she as a person behind closed doors. When she's really enjoying herself and being creative, is just how she's always been. Doja could be a "geek" or a "nerd". She has niche little interests that are special to her and gets so excited to talk about it. So for example, if you mentioned an anime she's watching, Doja would like light up like a kid in a candy store. Another thing is I feel like her spirit in general is very youthful? She does have a quirky personality but it's not as extroverted as when she is "Doja". Amala is more of an introvert, in fact, I believe her being in public spaces makes her feel a lot of pressure. Doja is really a "all bark no bite" type of person. Being a troll online gives her the ability to do the stuff she's not confident to do in person. She doesn't really know how to set boundaries as well in person than she does online. "People pleaser". It's really hard for Doja to say no or not entertain people. I also feel like when she is "Doja" her behavior is crazy, unfiltered, blunt, wild, and the life of the party. She becomes a mean girl from a 2000s movie come to life but more unhinged. As Amala though, it's the other way around. She's the nerd and is the one who hopes to impresse all the other "cool kids", even her character Doja. I feel like she actually gets embarrassed sometimes by the things she does for attention. "Why did I say that? Why did I do that?" When it comes being alone and in her own space, it's something she's used to. I genuinely don't even think she has like a close friend or if she does its not that many friends she has. Doja really only has her pets for comfort, security, and protection. I feel that Doja has a lot of inner child wounds that she needs to heal from because there is a lack of balance between this character she portrays herself as and who she really is behind the scenes. I believe it could be causing her some sort of identity complex.

Shy

Introverted

Creative

Youthful

Struggles to set boundaries

Falls into peer pressure easily

Has trouble fitting in or making genuine connections with others

Enjoys artistic hobbies such as painting, makeup, & music

Pets or animals are significant to her, they provide a healing presence

Identity complex issues

Is only aware of her self attributes but not her self concept (I.E: Knows her name, job, likes, dislikes, etc, but does not know what her morals or values are)

Career

The contract she signed was not beneficial to her at all, so Doja Cat is pretty much stuck with it until it is over. Doja Cat began her music career in 2014 and didn't become famous until 2019. So it took a lot of determination and sleepless nights for her to get to the top. She suffered a great deal of anxiety during this time and was over worked by her label, which has caused her to have mental breakdowns in the process. Doja's rise to fame was inevitable due to her ability to portray a duality of being sweet but also spunky. I believe her label wanted her to have this "ingenue" persona, which did attract a lot of money and appealed to a younger fanbase. Doja was sick of this though and felt like her dreams were starting to slip away from her. Doja enjoyed this era and seeing the fruits of her labor come intro fruition, but she knew if she continued to play the role of a "good girl" she would soon fade in with the other female artists in the industry. "I am a grown ass woman and I am not a little girl anymore!". Doja's "Scarlet" era was to create drastic change for herself and others around, it was uncomfortable, but was necessary in her eyes. She feels more confident, mature, and sexy with this new look of hers and does not care if it is received well or not. Doja could have more creative control in career now.

Love life

Doja's song "Addiction" could be an accurate description of her love life. I feel like she suffered from a lot of disappointment and codependency is a pattern within her relationships. Her partners become a "coping method" for her and it's how Doja escapes from the world. I'm almost getting she may suffer past trauma (possible symptoms of PTSD). She could experiences age regression in certain aspects, which unfortunately makes Doja fall victim to abusive or toxic partners. She was vulnerable and has been taken advantage of in her relationships, as well as having her heart getting broken many times. Doja also makes a lot of the wrong decisions whenever she does attract a healthy partnership because of her fear of being hurt or being attached to the wrong person. Self sabotage is a big factor. I also actually don't believe the man she is dating now will be the person she will be with long term. He is more so a reflection of her trauma and she just has been attracting the same person in different fonts. Doja could potentially feel torn between two people she's dated or will be dating. One person is from her past that she rejected and one will be someone new. The person from her past misses her deeply and wishes they could start over. This will be a shock to Doja and not something she will be expecting. They will dote on her and put in a lot of effort to make her happy. They both share similar wounds regarding their parents and could have fear of an abandonment. With this person, Doja could find herself feeling very loving to her partner and wanting to never leave them. She desires to do right by this person and make them happy. I could see her having a baby with them as well, possibly a baby boy? Doja will discover a part of herself that is more nurturing and emotional. They could be a divine counterpart or they will cause a spiritual awakening for her.

Tinychat rumors

So this is silly... but Doja was in those chatrooms because she liked the attention and praise she got lol 💀. People would always praise her and give her compliments, so that's mostly why she was present. I also think Doja Cat was like someone's "discord kitten" if that makes sense 🤣? She had a big crush on someone there (Doja could of even wrote "cyber sex" about them?), but I don't actually believe all of the people in these chatrooms were necessarily racist (which I remember watching videos about this when it happened and Doja wasn't actually the only poc there, there was also a few other poc present, but the one where she was only talking to white people went viral). So were there racists? Yes. Was there incels? Yes. Was that her intention to talk all of these people though? No. She was just crushing on one specific peeson and they would invite her to these chatrooms who were supposedly friends of theirs. So Doja would just hang around to fit in and she has a bad habit of doing shit for validation from others. Which consequently led to the video of her saying the n slur in the chatroom going viral. Mentally I feel she was overwhelmed during this time and was regressing? She literally would behave like a kitten for this person and could tell they were getting bored of her. Now the person Doja crushed on (who I feel was most likely a admin or mod) didn't spew hatred or anything of those things, but he wouldn't speak up to defend any of the poc in those chatrooms. So that would mean yes, they are racist by default because they allowed it to happen. Doja got special treatment in comparison to others though because 1. She was famous 2. The person's "crush" (more like a pet I should say...). As far as it goes for how Doja was treating other poc, she was ignorant about a lot of comments she made and regrets it, she mostly knew stereotypes but didn't actually have the proper knowledge of what's true for other poc (I got a whiff of a stinky scent and I believe that's a sign for her knowing her behavior was really "shitty" and knows that her not knowing better is a bullshit excuse 😭). People literally told her engaging in these chatrooms would be bad for her image and Doja was just really in her delulu phase before shit got real. I feel like someone even came to her house uninvited??? and was like literally stalking her (how scary!). That was when she realized shit got real and it was not a cute little fantasy anymore. Her life could of been in really danger at one point. It took a lot for her PR team to fix this situation and make sure she didn't get canceled or become a flop overnight, as well as having to hire extra security for her.

[cricketnationrise]

Weekend WIP Around

so. i'm bad at responding to tag games at the best of times. and then i worked 11 days straight and lost all sense of time and space. but! ive had several days off now, my head is screwed on relatively straight again, so here we go. thanks to: @cha-melodius @three-drink-amy @inexplicablymine @affectionatelyrs @dumbpeachjuice @welcometololaland @celaestis1 @indomitable-love @14carrotghoul @rmd-writes @doggernaut @sherryvalli @kiwiana-writes @leaves-of-laurelin and @read-and-write- for the MANY tags over the last two weeks! have some words! 💜🦗

I'm using @welcometololaland's 20 question game for writers and artists (thanks Lola, this is so fun!)

1. WIP List: (from my "Active WIPs" folder otherwise we'd be here 5eva) Game Changer (Noise Boys) Tortall AU [FTH] rwrb assassination attempt AU [FTH] jon/alanna Tortall canon-divergence [FTH] an incomplete list series going platinum sequel jack's off-season wishlist series rwrb kiss-cam omgcp say yes to the dress au

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest? Game Changer AU ~2.4k

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest? eventually an incomplete list series since it has the most parts planned, but the going platinum sequel has more than a little potential to explode on me

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why? I am SUPER enjoying writing the Game Changer AU right now, it's really fun coming up with all the prompts!

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why? jon/alanna canon-divergence. hands down. it's not a pairing i usually seek out, and i want to write them believably, especially since it's for charity

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why? see above.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why? probably everything on this list will get a beta pass, actually. kiss cam will depend on how long i end up making it/if it actually gets a whole plot XD

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block? jon/alanna has less of a writer's block and more of a starting block, but i'm hopeful that once i figure out the plot the writing will come fairly easily. kiss-cam au I paused on purpose because i was writing The Mummy AU and Going Platinum at the same time and a third wip was driving me crazy.

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them? none of them have OC's at this time

10. Which WIP is the sexiest? Going Platinum sequel 🤝 Jack's Off-Season Wishlist

11. Which WIP is the angstiest? rwrb assassination attempt AU, for obvious reasons

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)? well, i hope all of them!

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)? ditto from above

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on? as of today, Game Changer Tortall AU

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why? Going Platinum sequel. I cut a lot of ideas from the original fic because they didn't make sense with the hiding identities I had going on, so now that they're together, I'm really excited to figure out how alex's job (and henry's support of it) lets their relationship evolve and grow

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs? not about any of these, but while I was writing the Mummy AU I watched the movie so frequently that I would regularly dream about that one.

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't? Going Platinum sequel - choreography complications since they still aren't showing their faces on the streams Game Changer Tortall AU - working within the framework of the show itself, possibly coding the whole thing to look like a script

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour? Game Changer AU for sure.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process? not right now!

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs. say yes to the dress au - Bitty as Randy, but it's a Nurseydex endgame fic AND a bonus snippet from the Game Changer Tortall fic to make up for all the 6/7 sentences/wip weds i've missed :D

“Tonight’s guests: coming in fresh from a shower: it’s Merric Hollyrose! Looking around for somewhere to tie his horse: Owen Jesslaw! Tallest, oldest, last – and certainly not happy about it – it’s Neal Queenscove! And your host, me! I’ve been here the whole time.” “Welcome to Gamechanger, the only game show where the game changes every show. I am your host, Kel Mindelan, and I’m joined today by these three lovely contestants. Now, you all understand how the game works?” Merric shakes his head. “Nope.”  “Haven’t the foggiest,” says Owen cheerful as always in the face of the unknown. “You haven’t explained a dratted thing.” Neal pouts and Kel feels the last wisps of nerves melt away in response. Kel knows how to do this – getting Neal to hit peak dramatically grumpy levels is as natural as breathing. She throws Neal a cheeky grin before turning back to the camera. “That’s right! Our players have no idea what game it is that they’re about to play. The only way to learn is by playing, the only way to win is by learning, and the only way to begin is by beginning, so without further ado – let’s begin.”

Consider this an open tag to play along!

[mychlapci]

for the character ask game i've got three for you!

standford pines

five pebbles

prowl (idw specifically)

i've been trying to get to this all morning but i had to go to the grocery storeeeee. anyways...

Ford... the character of all time...

How I feel about this character

Normal. Obviously. Very normal. But seriously, he was one of my favourite gravity falls characters, i feel like he's very much misunderstood by the fandom, either deeply villanized or has his reletable flaws whittled down to be more palatable. there is so much wrong with him to explore. alas, i am not smart enough to dig as deep

All the people I ship romantically with this character

no one. no one at all. In all seriousness, i was never that much of a fiddauthor fan, but i've read some good fanfics of them, so that counts i suppose

My non-romantic OTP for this character

the Stan twins duo, of course. Although I really enjoy to imagine the dynamic Ford and Mabel could've had

My unpopular opinion about this character

I think he was actually quite reletable and not to have a kin moment or anything, but I saw a lot of myself in his flaws, so I can't really imagine why someone wouldn't sympathize with him.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

canon old man birth Ford and Mabel bonding episode!!!!! PLEASE

Pebbles, my good friend Pebbles... i have not played much nor have I really done a deep dive into the lore yet, so forgive me if I don't have much to say

How I feel about this character

stinky rude little guy. i enjoy it very much. as i said, i'm not up to date on the lore, but i know he's kind of having a fucked up time and i love me a man in peril.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

not well-versed enough in the lore to ship him with anyone. i can't even imagine who. people have probably found a way. god i hope he's ship-elligible, because if there is a reason why he wouldn't be... then i have to go delete some drawings

My non-romantic OTP for this character

pebbi x the spear i throw at his head

My unpopular opinion about ths character

Not many. Though I've noticed in let's plays that many people straight up hate him with with a lot of vigour, I think they should give him a break

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

I don't know. Perhaps more interaction? although i wouldn't want to actually travel through unfortunate development more times than once, tbh... I think the game utilizes him well. AND you can throw shit at him, so that's all i need to amuse myself

Proooowl!!! baby girl. i am gonna sound so stupid here. I am not good with. remembering what happened in the comics.

How I feel about this character

He's an asshole. And I love him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I mean... everyone knows what i'm all about, as long as that robot's holes are full, i'm game. I don't quite get jazzprowl in its entirety, but I find it fun and compelling enough so I suppose I'll go with that. And I've been a fan of prowlop lately, I think he an Optimus could have a really fucked up dynamic together. Constructiprowl is a favourite of mine. And I have a little guilty pleasure spot here just for Prowl/Fort Max

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Not quite sure, I think he would be extremely fun to pair with anyone just because he's such a dick and no one likes him. I honestly think that a chapter dedicated to him and Rodimus getting into shenanigans would be hilarious

My unpopular opinion about this character

Not sure if this is necessarily me going against the popular opinions, perhaps just me against the expectations i had when i heard everyone else talk about him, but... I don't think he's actually as evil and twisted as people make him out to be? he's an asshole, yes, but I don't think he's actually a heartless bastard incapable of not feeling guilty for his actions, as i've seen him portrayed sometimes. if anything, guilt eats away at him so much that he's doing everything he can to stay in control of it. if he keeps stubbornly assuring himself that he did what had to be done, he'll manage to stay sane. i don't know. re-reading that, it sounds stupid as hell but i don't have anything else to say so i can't delete that....

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

all that said, i think some people should have punched him a little bit harder

[howlingday]

Hey Howling, thanks for the advice before! I know asking questions isn't how most people expect advice, but it does work since it forces us to sit down and think a little bigger.

So thanks for that.

I guess that brings another question/advice/opinion I've been meaning to ask you.

When it comes to creating content to share, whether fanfic or original, what motivates you?

Cuz' the more serious I tend to get about an idea, the more I freak out about how much of my own personal time I inevitably start devoting to it.

Which is great in one sense... cuz I get lost into my wondrous world of writing headspace...

... and short little drabbles, and silly prompts are great fun! I really do enjoy them!

But when it comes to fanfics, swimming super deep in the depths of my untethered imagination honestly scares me...

Because who knows if all my effort will be shrugged at and forgotten by the fans or other creators, when I could have been doing something original...?

Or if... when I finally do stick my head up out of the depths of any fandom...

...I'll find that back in the real world, above the surface, the tide of my life will have changed, and I'll realize how much the shore has shifted and moved on...

... alongside my loved ones who will have made new memories without me, every time I insisted on spending just a little more time diving deep, as they never had the urge to go exploring with me...

... all because I was so focused diving into the fandom of someone else's waters.

Sorry, if it got a little heavy, (and I get it if this doesn't get posted), but as someone who gets lost spending months at a time thinking up of new ideas, I wanted your insight on what makes fanfic writing worth it.

Small prompts are fun and a great way to use time, but lengthy-novels and time-consuming art?

What do you think?

Oof... Really aimed right at a very tender and sensitive weak point of mine, to be honest.

But first of all, I'm glad my advice helped you out with your thought process for building your world.

Now, I'mma be really real with you about the whole "time" thing. One of, if not the most absolute worst thought I could ever think of is "how much of my time was this really worth?" Because one thing I find myself often being during my "slumps" is a nihilist. I'll be in my groove, popping out funny ideas and neat little plot points when BAM! I ask myself "What is this all amounting to? Is this something that's going to matter in ten years? Or five years? Next year? What am I going to do in the real world?"

THIS IS THE POTENTIALLY WORST MINDSET YOU COULD POSSIBLY EXPERIENCE.

What helps me out of it is to, well, keep doing it. Get my idea out there and see how much people love it. Keep going at it, build yourself and your style, and learn from your prior mistakes and the mistakes of others.

As for the OTHER aspects in my life, it boils down to numerous factors, because on top of the multiple dozen drafts of asks I have saved for later, I also have my job, my stack of video games to beat and or give up on, my 3000+ YouTube Watch Later list, my MMA classes, and whatever I've got planned with my friends. I remember in college, there was a critical thinking class that said,

"YOU DON'T MAKE TIME, YOU BORROW IT FROM SOMETHING ELSE."

I see the small prompts, incorrect quotes, and spitposts as just fun little writing exercises to just get out there. Definitely play around with them if and when you can.

I hope the advice I gave helps and didn't just sound like me whining. Honestly, the best way to get good at all aspects of writing, including planning, dreaming, and actually writing is to keep doing it. And kinda let it all blend together in your life. If I see or hear something funny or inspiring or just plain awesome, I'll pop it into an incorrect quote and send it out! People love it? Great! No? Oh, well...

But always, always, always...

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

[dashawns-world]

Advance Guardian Heroes

Ah, here it is. Advance Guardian Heroes. Despite its numerous faults, this is in my top 3 GBA games, alongside Sonic Advance 2 and Pokemon Emerald. Seriously, this game had a massive impact on me. I’m talking about staying up all night trying to draw like this. To this day, I struggle to capture the magical essence of Tetsuhiko Kikuchi’s (aka HAN’s) art style, but a LOT of his design philosophies bled into my own growing up. And while I believe we’re in a beat-em-up game renaissance now, I remember this being the only “modern” one I f*cked with for a while. Thanks primarily in part to being made by the legendary game developers Treasure. Seriously, when it comes to making fun games, they don’t miss. I’m basically gonna spend my time gushing about it. I will also point out its very glaring flaws, haha. I started this blog to dive deep into why I like the things I like, after all. I’m hoping to have a better understanding by the end of this!

PRESENTATION

I’m really particular when it comes to art style. I’m not elitist about what others should like or dislike, but I have written things off because I dislike how they look. Everyone has their tastes; that’s not groundbreaking info. AGH is absolutely in the realm of what I love, though. The art direction has this late 80s/90s anime look that I really adore. I don’t draw like that at all, but when I look at it, it reminds me of when anime was an extremely new thing to me. Some faces skew toward that How-to-Draw-Manga territory, but I love it. It has… an identity.

The game itself translates this very well with the sprites. I think part of Treasure’s game’s strength wasn’t just in their mechanics but their animation and design sense. It’s one thing to have a heavy punch attack, but when the sprites accurately convey that, you really feel it, even through your little game boy.

The anticipation, line of action, OOF. It feels so good when you pull this off, and your enemy goes flying. 

This game had neat ideas, too. My favorite, FAVORITE one they have is the stage where debris is falling, and you get to fight while trying not to fall out of bounds. It could be a hassle, but the game has a mechanic where you air dash to get onto the nearest platform. You can get back to one, even if you’ve exhausted all your animations from attacking. It takes all the frustration/difficulty away from you and leaves you with a unique stage hazard.

I love a LOT of the stages in this game, and they all have such cool gimmicks for a beat-em-up. One stage starts with you riding a damn missile (you’re in control btw. You have to hop from missile to missile.) to get to the enemy airship you’re about to destroy. Another stage has you surfing on your ship down a river, where you fend off goblin riders and then an actual ninja. I’m telling you, if there’s a rule of cool, Treasure defined it. 

Only an ancient hero can make an entrance like that. Honestly, the game’s a treat for the eyes. In my opinion, it’s one of the best-looking games for the GBA. And you can trust me, I’ve played less than a quarter of the GBA library. 

GAMEPLAY

Here’s where we run into some of the game’s faults. I’ll start by saying the game isn’t broken. It’s functional where it counts. The problem is the immense slow-down when you’re playing. :( I’ll always be a little sad that this got stuck on a Gameboy and not, like, the Gamecube. The original Guardian Heroes was on the Sega Saturn, ran smooth, AND looked good. The little GBA struggled so hard with this gem. But otherwise, I really enjoy the mechanics. I still play the game to this day, and I believe it’s because they nailed the fighting. I’m not going to talk specifics about the gameplay because I’m not a game critic, but I will talk a little bit about how it feels.

This game scratched an itch I had at the time for a good DBZ beat-em-up. Your character can shoot out all types of magic attacks, has a hyper mode that flashes golden (super saiyan), and can even parry attacks if you’re good at timing your blocks. This helped the combat feel a lot more in-depth. They used a currency to level up your character’s stats in the single-player mode. Leftover points could be used for unlocking characters. And that’s another thing; From the nameless soldiers to the little goblins with clubs, to the giant robots with city-ending lasers, to every damn boss except the final one, They ALL can be selected. And not just in VS mode. (Yes, it had a vs mode. No, I never played it. Nobody but me owned this game.) But in STORY MODE as well (except for the city-ending robot, I think they said no to that one for obvious reasons.) That leads to a ridiculous amount of replayability for a kid with 3 GBA games. I love games that let you do this. My favorite character to play was Dylan, because he had the coolest moveset. 

This is the face of a guy that knows he’s the best character in the game.

There was also a mechanic I thought was interesting, even if it was kind of useless lol. If your character ever died, the devil (that’s what I called it, but it’s just the big bad) would ask you if you wanted to come back to life and fight. You’d only get six minutes of immunity before they’d take your soul, and you’d get an instant game over. It’s a neat idea but really impractical, haha. I wonder if it could be used better today with roguelike games…? If I were given this deal and thought I could complete a run in 6 minutes, that’d be cool. It would be even more cool if I got a different ending this way. I think in AGH, even if you did make it to the end within six minutes, the Big Bad would kill you on the spot. Fact-check me on that, tho.

STORY

Man… this is where the game really falls short. The biggest issue was the poor translation. The story continued where the original left off; was it the bad ending? 

Here’s what Wikipedia says (lol I'm sorry, It’s easier to paste than rewrite it.)

“The story follows the events of Guardian Heroes. After the Undead Hero was returned to his rest, the heroes were given the option of becoming the Sky Spirit's perfect warriors. The group was divided, with Nicole, Serena, and Valgar joining the Sky Spirit, and Han and Genjiro refusing. Randy escaped back to earth on his own, leaving Han and Genjiro to fight a losing battle against their former comrades.

Years later, Zur returns. He resurrects Kanon and uses the power of the Guardian Heroes to take over the world. The few remaining resistance forces call upon the power of the Undead Hero once again, with one young soldier giving up his body to serve as its vessel.

Throughout the game, the character fights the previous heroes and earns their power. Ultimately, it is revealed this is another attempt by the heavens to create the ultimate warrior. In the final battle against the ruler of the heavens, all heroes gather to defeat it and subsequently leave for the Other World.”

I don’t hate this!! But it’s told very poorly. We’re not given cutscenes to flesh out anything or anyone. Some characters are only portraits. For example, the player is the young soldier, but once their body gets taken by the hero, they don’t talk again. I didn’t know anything about them. We also don’t really see the resistance fighting Zur and Kanon. It’s basically just us, with some casual assists via dialogue boxes. Honestly, it’s not really worth talking about much more, haha. I always thought it had potential if it was fleshed out. That’s why I would make up my own story as I played. I would fill in the blanks and re-imagine the scenarios.

For example, the game starts with the young soldier getting into a fight before receiving the power of the undead hero. They show how weak you are, having you die in one hit by random goons before the princess pulls the undead hero’s soul into your lifeless body. (Like, wow, this soldier sucked. RIP tho.) If you choose Enn as your starting character, he gets recolored, and you’re strong enough to fight. Yipee! 

My made-up story was that something went wrong with the princess’ spell, and instead of being a fabulous, powered-up man, you turned into a goblin. (Because remember, you can play as almost every damn character in the game.) I imagined the princess’s bewilderment as a little chubby goblin said, “Hey! Undead hero, here! Let’s do this.” before single-handedly destroying the entire evil empire. It was funny to me!

And I think that’s ultimately what I got from reminiscing about this game’s poor plot. Games used to be a lot simpler. And translation wasn’t always top-notch like it is now. When I was younger, maybe out of necessity, I used my imagination to fill in the blanks. When I played Pokemon, I’d pretend I was truly on a journey with my little guys. And when I fought Red in Gold and Silver, I imagined how epic that was. I drew moments from Sonic games. Playing outside, I’d pretend I was Link on an adventure. My sister and I would play Super Bomberman 1P mode together, and since she was new to it, I’d call her rookie. That dynamic ultimately bled into my Brothers Boom comic. (This is a revelation I had pretty recently, and I’m surprised I buried it so deep into my mind.) Now, as an adult, where my imagination is a bit harder to conjure up because my head isn’t as empty, I reminisce about the times when everything inspired me. I’m not miserable, though, lol. Instead, I think fondly about those times. I really gotta hand it to Treasure because they live up to their namesake. Playing Advance Guardian Heroes was a significant source of inspiration for me, and I’m glad I found it.

Thanks for reading!

[whatthefoucault]

Spicy, possibly even incendiary tea opinions? I got ‘em! Plus a little history deep-dive, a cameo appearance by some pirates, and a cameo premiere of my very own battle jacket. And I drink so much tea and this took months to put together and I really hope you enjoy it!

[danbisroom]

Ep. 11 - Hey You! I Long For You…

My beloved fellow souls,

welcome back to Danbi’s Room, your weekly dose of safe space. Go grab a cup of something warm and get yourself cosy.

I hope you had a nice and fulfilling week where you learnt a lot of interesting stuff, whether is was about the world outside of you or the world within you.

My intention for today’s piece is to dive deep into our souls maintaining a delicate touch. Being soft when approaching situations or feelings doesn’t equal being weak. It’s often the strongest answer. Most of the time, the best way to respond to hardness is not with other hardness, but, in fact, with softness. Softness is capable of taking the hit, of welcoming it and then to gently ponder which action should be taken next: retaining and grooming the newcomer or urge them to leave our secret garden immediately?

I believe that in the majority of cases both will happen consequentially. It is indeed challenging and burdensome to usher in “bad feelings”, but they, more than anything else, are in dire need of being loved unconditionally, until we learn to understand them so that we can finally release them. They must be given their rightfully owned dignity and regard. We must acknowledge their immense generosity: “bad feelings” teach us so much! If only we were willing to attentively listen to them with an open heart! On the contrary, we’re just so quick in shushing them off…Poor things are just looking for a warm shelter! A balmy haven to snug into while gifting us hints, on everything: what do we need to work on? Why do we fear certain things? What does actually matter to us? Do we feel listened? Do we need to move somewhere else? The list is endless. I know, you might be wondering how an enormous pile of uncanny questions could ever be seen as a stack of presents.

It’s because we really need those questions, but we would never dare to ask them without the help of those tumultuous feelings. Avoiding any pinch of discomfort is something deeply ingrained in our human nature. But we can learn how to love even that. To the point where we miss feeling those storms coming at us, as frightening as they can be. We long for that turbulence crushing our synapses.

Feeling everything so very deeply might be a curse, but it’s the breath of life. Sometimes we lose it and we become indescribably numb, almost non-exhistant, dry, like a faded photo. Our soul doesn’t even have seasons anymore. Everything has withered away, even silence. Now, that, I believe, is the most terrifying circumstance a human being can ever find themselves into. Wistfully, this condition is much more widespread than you would think. In my opinion numbness is the most pervasive pandemic of our time. It has various faces: at times we are so overwhelmed we turn blind to our surroundings, or maybe robotically complicit, or we just shut down any type of sensitivity hoping it will be enough for it to stop. But it doesn’t stop. We just become number and number, resorting to meaningless noise.

Is it possible to come out of it?

Is it possible to light up again?

Is it possible to ignite our little flame again?

Is it possible to slowly turn it into a bigger fire that it had previously been?

Yes, it is. It’s possible. As always, my precious fireflies, there is the community, there is the pack, where we can share our lives and talk and walk together and know love. We can share the same breath and love unconditionally, without a reason, swimming in a happy, tepid pond. We can share love and pain.

You never walk alone, yes, we can love.

Today we have two song recommendations since a certain prince worked so much lately: Long For You and Hey You by Hyunjin. Let’s show him a lot of support for these endearing artworks.

I hope you enjoyed this episode and that you have a beautiful week ahead of you!

I’ll see you in the next one, big hug!

With love, yours,

Danbi