#hope yall enjoy some of these
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lupucs · 9 months ago
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Undyne tries to be a good lab partner to Alphys but then Frisk shows up with some newfound skills 🐟🦖 Made with Blender!
| Music: [Track 1] [Track 2] | Watch on Youtube |
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chloesimaginationthings · 3 months ago
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Do any of you remember Scott's games before FNAF?
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ollieartie · 4 months ago
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So...I'll just...gently place him over here for now....
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narsh-poptarts · 6 days ago
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my dark link thoughts coalesced into wonderful headcanons and crazy amounts of forced perspectives and dutch angles
also sorry HW i would have included your dark link(s) but i do not have passion for your game <3 maybe next time
Some thoughts below
I have thoughts about dark link that boil down to basically two things: 1. it's always the same dark link, and 2. dark link has a very difficult time changing.
No matter how many times dark link is brought into existence, he is formed from the shadow of link usually to test link's will. that shadow can be duplicated (as seen in HW) but generally speaking it's the same guy, sharing the thought space, you know how it is. In terms of sentience/thinking for himself, I don't think there's all that much of it. He is a dark reflection/shadow of link, so shares his abilities and thought patterns (for combat) with added aggression and. evil. i guess.
As said by navi, "conquer yourself", and all that. He's a challenge to the inner will power.
That being said!!! he can have a little bit of individuality, as a treat. Just in the form of being mean and sadistic <3 he's got thoughts, he's not just a combat doll (tho in times of low power, or a greater power having the reins, he reverts to that), so he can be frustrated, vindicated, happy, etc etc. though when your thoughts are mainly "evilevilevilevilevil" your idea of these emotions are a bit skewed.
When he's summoned for each different link, i hc that it's all the same magic, so the same dark link every time. he "remembers" in an abstract sense of his role in the same way a link or zelda "remembers" their own reincarnation. tho his is less of a reincarnation and more being used over and over again. a persistence.
The iteration that's summoned reflects the current link at the time, the part of link that needs testing/defeating, so it's not an existence that he himself can change to match the present. he's locked to that first copy/shadow only. So if he were to have a second encounter with an older link, he'd look like the first time they fought, unless he was specifically re-summoned. i hc he's got limited magic, so this is not something he can do himself.
in a links-meet scenario, his form would be limited to those specific forms of the links, and it would always be the points in time in which he first encountered them, unless there's other magic either he or someone else has access to to allow him to change forms to match.
now you might be saying at this point "wouldn't he be a weaker match if he was put up against an older link?" yeah probably lol. but also!!! i like the idea that with the limited magic he has, he's able to change juuuust enough to stay relatively evenly matched. being able to play to different strengths and all that. but the base stuff is still the same, so he is decently easy enough to read if link remembers the kind of stuff he was pulling back when he originally fought dark link.
dark link also knows about all this so while limited to the particular skillset, is able to adapt slightly.
but yeah been thinking a lot about a links-meet au where dark link is there choosing a different link to be every time he appears to the party.
though there are a couple links that he never impersonates in their games!!! so can't change into those guys unless he gets a new round of copycat magic.
Anyways goodbye guy standing there with standard camera angle, i have dutch angles and forced perspective
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cashmoneyyysstuff · 8 months ago
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this is a lil part two for this lil request fic i wrote about katsuki takin' care of a drunk reader ! yall rlly seemed to like it n asked for a part two so, here it is !! hope yall enjoy !
no pronouns mentioned, just pure fluffy katsu, microscopic angst maybe kinda and if you squint HARD (reader gets a little bit upset), soft katsu but he's also an asshat but we love him anyways, mentions of food n eating, mentions of bein drunk, lemme know if i missed sum else !
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"ya told me you loved me yesterday."
it's all katsuki utters in the quiet of your apartment as he looks out the window.
you promptly choke on your toast.
you manage to cough down your bread. clearing your throat as you try to speak as naturally as possible. “oh yeah ?”
katsuki grunts in response, taking a sip of his orange juice and smacking his lips before speaking again. still looking at the window and away from you, it makes you nervous. “yeah, thanked me for always takin care of ya, r’something”
katsuki is trying his very hardest to speak casually and he’s praying to every god there is you can’t hear the slight quiver in his voice or see the slight shakiness of his hand when he brings the glass of juice to his lip.
“oh.” your heart beats so loud you can hear it in your ears. you try to salvage the situation and you force out an awkward laugh. “ i mean—i am thankful to you, y’know.”
“ya should be, nobody else could handle takin’ care of your ass.”
“hey !”
you think this is fine. you were drunk and stupid and you’re fine with him brushing off your accidental confession like this if it means it won’t make things awkward. if it means he’ll keep coming over to your house like he owns the place and cook for you because you apparently don’t know how to cook for yourself well enough for his liking. as long as you can keep hanging out with him and going out for drinks and having him take care of you. though, you might not drink as much next time you two go out.
after a minute or two he speaks again “did you mean it ?”
your hand is already reaching for his half bitten piece of toast when you freeze for the second time “did i mean what ?”
katsuki scoffs, smacking your hand away from his toast with two fingers, you let out a little whine “ i know you’re not dumb, so quit actin’ like you are.”
“but i don’t know what you mean !” you inwardly cringe at your dumb response.
“when you said you—“ katsuki cuts himself off with a quiet groan, grabbing his toast and splitting it in half, chucking one of the pieces onto your plate “whatever” he mutters to himself. your heart squeezes when you see the sad frown on his pretty face he doesn’t seem to realize he has.
you don’t know if you’ve still got alcohol in your system, you don’t know if you’ve fully slept it off yet, if you’re fearless or crazy or just plain stupid, but after taking a bite of the toast he’d given you you blurt out something you were sure you would’ve only had the courage to say if you were black out drunk.
“i did.”
katsuki turns to you the moment you finish your sentence, bright red eyes widened as he tries not to let his surprise show, he fails to though. “ you did what ?”
in the back of your mind you want to pout at him because you know he knows what you mean. you know he just wants to hear you say what he wants to hear and it makes you a little grumpy because it’s early in the morning and you don’t look your best at all right now. you’re too embarrassed to even look him in the eye yet his bore into you so hard it feels like a magnetic pull, like you’re being forced to look at him despite your best efforts not to. you want to be at least a little mad but you can’t blame him, you feel like you owe this to him in a way.
“ i did mean it..when i said..” you’re incapable of looking at him as you feel shame creep onto you, clinging onto you like a sweaty shirt, you manage to swallow down the piece of toast“ when i said that.” you trail off quietly.
no sound is made and no voice is heard for at least a minute, but you feel yourself wanting to cry more and more with each second that passes.
you get the courage to look up at him and instantaneously which you never had when you see a smirk on his annoying face.
“that ? that, what ?” he jeers with a grin bordering on evil, sharp teeth on display.
you throw your head back and groan “katsuki, oh my god !” leaning forward across your table you try to pull his nose after you hear him chuckling. he swiftly dodges you, grabbing your wrist and then your other one when you try to pull a fast one on him, unsuccessfully. you grumble as you sit back down and if you weren’t as enamored with him as you somehow ended up being you’d have knocked that stupid smirk off his face. everything seems to be against you, including your heart.
he hums once you’ve sat back down “ooh, you mean when you told me you loved me, right ? s’that what you meant ?” he snickers, shit eating grin on his face. asshole, he’s not even trying to look innocent.
“you’re not funny.” you huff, crossing your arms and glaring at him. “ like, at all.”
“you’re right, i’m not.” he responds, leaning his forearms against your table “ i’m hilarious, actually.”
a part of you wishes you could punch him. hard. another louder part of you just wants to kiss his smug expression off his face, both options sound extremely tempting but one of them more than the other.
“hilariously stupid.” not your best retort, but you’ll take it. katsuki huffs out a laugh as you pout and look off to the side, you’re so fucking cute.
his smirk doesn’t fade as he keeps staring at you but his eyes soften as he leans in to rip your arms away from your chest “ relax, m’just fuckin’ witcha.”
“yeah. haha. funny.” you spit. katsuki starts getting actually worried he’d hurt your feelings and quickly tries redeeming himself. he pokes at your cheek once, twice and you swat his hand away when he goes for a third poke. then he leans forward so he can tickle your side and inwardly sighs in relief when you swat at his hand trying to hold back your laughter. the way he’s leaning against the table is a bit uncomfortable for him but as long as he keeps that warmth on your face he couldn’t care less.
he gets up and grabs his chair, dragging it against the floor causing it to squeak and making you cringe, you let out a noise of displeasure but katsuki doesn't look the least bit phased as he bring his chair to sit next to you.
his cheeks are red, you realize it now that he's sitting so much closer to you. he speaks after a moment of silence "so you meant it, yeah ? when you told me you.." he trails off at the end of his sentence. he's quieter than you're used to. there's a certain hopeful urgency in his eyes that has you shyly nodding your head in response.
he’s looking at you and you’re looking right back
“i meant it.” you whisper.
“i know.” he whispers back after a beat, before pressing his lips to yours.
the kiss lasts about 10 seconds before he pulls away, then leans in again for another, slightly longer one. when you separate your breathing a little heavy. you place your hand on his face and rub his cheek, admiring the way his eyelashes flutter slightly and how the feeling causes shivers to run up his spine. you can't help the goofy smile that pulls at your face and neither can he, you both chuckle slightly.
then you take a breath as if contemplating if what you were about to say was worth it. but katsuki knows you don't care and he's right because you say it anyway.
"we should go out for drinks to celebrate !" you giggle. he playfully rolls his eyes, pinching your side making you let out a squeal.
even though you call it a celebration katsuki knows it'll be the same charade as usual. you'll drink until you pass out and he'll bring you home. he'll help you clean up and take you to bed and have breakfast made for your hungover ass in the morning. but this time, you'll be his. and to katsuki, that's worth so much more than the headache he knows you'll give him.
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kishdoodles · 11 months ago
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Happy New Year! My yearly Davesprite is here to usher in 2024... it's been a quite the 2023! This also marks 10 years since I started this tradition... yippee!!!
I made the piece this year listening to @toontitsgoopbrain's davesprite tracks (give them a listen they're really good!)
2023 has been on the quieter side for me, nonetheless I'm overwhelmed by the support I've had during it anyways. Thanks to everyone who stuck around!
2023 | 2022 | 2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014
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bixels · 7 months ago
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Finally posting my first Rarijack one-shot for the Grand Galloping 20s, "So This Is Love." This is the first time I've posted my writing (or written any fanfiction) in years and years, so lemme know what you think.
Summary: After a mutually unsuccessful night at the Grand Galloping Gala, both Miss Rarity and April-Jacqueline find themselves at their wits' end in the Canterlot castle gardens while the gala continues without them.
Preview: Polished marble sculptures and manicured jade hedges glistened by the light of the moon and her stars. The gardens of Canterlot Castle were beautiful. They would be much more beautiful if shared with another, Miss Rarity thought to herself bitterly. “Surprised to see you all on your lonesome out here.” She looked down the gravel path to a figure sitting at a stone bench. A woman, fitted in a fetchingly tailored pinstripe suit –– Miss Rarity’s suit actually, she designed it herself –– a perfectly curled ponytail –– she had spent nearly half an hour ironing out the flyaways –– and that obnoxiously drab stetson hat –– no relation to Miss Rarity. A half-spent cigarette fell from her lip, stamped out under her heel. ...
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cora-illus · 6 months ago
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(GTN Spoilers) a locked tomb animation/amv i've been working on for uhhh.. you know what just roll it
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folliesoftheforest · 1 month ago
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Can you guess what the next installment is about? >:3c
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magnificentmicrowave · 2 months ago
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songtember day 2: Pitcher56 - Woman -Wの悲劇より-
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chodarktrash · 5 months ago
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coming out of the woodwork to actually post some art and tell you to GO FUCKING VOTE!! which election is this about? all of them. VOTE!!!!
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cherry-bomb-ships · 4 months ago
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ALTERNATE UNIVERSE ASK GAME
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Send in a emoji/prompt listed below and the user will create an AU based on the prompt. 🩷
These prompts are meant to be somewhat vague, so the way they can be interpreted is entirely up to the user's imagination! 🩷
These can be used as art prompts, writing prompts, or just for headcanons. Also, while these were initially made for self shipping, they can be used for ocs or ships in general. 🩷
Please practice reblog karma if reblogging. 🩷
This will be updated as I think of more! If you have any suggestions let me know. Last update: 07/19/24 🩷
Proship & proship-neutral, please do not interact.
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SWAPS
🚻 - Body Swap AU
➕️ - Fusion AU
🔄 - Personality Swap AU
⏏️ - Reverse Selfship AU
🔏 - Role Swap AU
FANTASY
🤖 - Android AU
😈 - Demon AU
🧍‍♀️- Giant/Tiny AU
👻 - Ghost AU
🌟 - Magical Girl AU
🧜‍♀️ - Mermaid AU
🦸‍♂️ - Superhero/Supervillain AU
🧛‍♀️ - Vampire AU
🐺 - Werewolf AU
🪄 - Witch/Wizard AU
HISTORICAL
🤠 - Cowboy/Western AU
🪮 - Greaser AU
💰 - Mafia AU
🏰 - Medieval AU
🏴‍☠️ - Pirate AU
👑 - Royalty AU
🎩 - Victorian AU
SLICE OF LIFE
🎤 - Band AU
☕️ - Coffee Shop AU
📒 - College AU
💼 - Coworkers AU
📱 - Modern Day AU
EXISTING MEDIA
🍄 - Alice in Wonderland AU
💫 - Disney Movie AU
🐲 - Dungeons and Dragons AU (or similar fantasy media)
🔩 - Frankenstein AU
🦄 - My Little Pony AU
⚡️ - Pokemon AU
💞 - Romantic Comedy AU
🔪 - Slasher AU
TROPES
👰‍♂ - Arranged Marraige AU
🌱 - Childhood Friends AU
💐 - Fake Dating AU
🐶 - Furry AU (or Humanized AU)
🥀 - Hanahaki AU
🏆 - Rivals AU
🪢 - Soulmate AU (String of Fate, Matching Birthmarks, Same Dreams, etc)
🧟‍♂️ - Zombie Apocalypse AU
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chloesimaginationthings · 6 months ago
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I love how you drew foxy, he so scruckly looking <3
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Here’s some more Foxys I’ve drawn!!
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dustykneed · 7 months ago
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Picture this; Bones holding Joanna, rocking her to sleep and the part in Beautiful Boy where it’s like “The monster's gone, He's on the run, And your daddy's here” is playing. :,)
Fatherhood gives you certain... skills. Coincidentally, this is also how Jim finds out that Bones sings.
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:'))
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sixerstanley · 3 days ago
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Stan never meant for it to get out. He never wanted Ford to get even the tiniest bit close to finding out this information. Not when they worked so hard to be where they were—on the Stan O’ War II, going on adventures and searching for anomalies together, well over a year now. A life of bliss for the two of them. Both of them, together, till the end of time. The point was, everything about Ford and Stan’s dynamic was about to change, and all because of a dumb fucking meddling elf. ~ After Stan tries to steal something from some mythological creatures, they put him under a truth spell so he and Ford can communicate. It doesn't go too well.
THE NISSE FIC IS COMPLETE!!! collapses.
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seventeenpins · 5 months ago
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the stranger the better
pairing: Dieter Bravo x Reader word count: 5.6k summary: Dieter gets tentacles. That's the fic. content/warnings: uhhhh this one has a whole lot: importantly--TENTACLES!, lots of viscous body fluids, slight dubcon due to tentacles with a mind of their own??, buckets of cum, piv, tiv 👀, dieter is a switch, sex parasite, anal, masturbation, body horror, idk they're freaks and it's great, reader has a vulva but gendered language is not used a/n: this is basically just a crackfic that i've taken far too seriously. Also, shoutout to Ozzie @ozarkthedog for listening to all my dumbass thoughts and helping me finally get this finished!! ☺️😚
Dieter doesn't know exactly how the idea came to him, but he knows the important bits. It was, he reasoned, a sign- nay, a prophecy. He wishes he could replicate the exact cocktail of stimulants and psychedelics that allowed him to see this glimpse into greatness, because the results were eye opening.
Somehow, the universe injected into him an understanding of That Which He Sought.
He sketched it, painted it, utilized every descriptor he could think of, and sat down his PA, Todd, using every medium he had adequate command of to illustrate as clear a picture for his employee as was possible.
He was very thorough.
Todd, who Dieter often found unsettling due to the degree to which he was able to stay entirely un-rattled by anything, raised an eyebrow.
(Dieter didn't want to ruin the moment, but this was a fucking win.)
The PA's first response was "Excuse me, you want me to find you something that definitely doesn't exist because you had a drug-induced hallucination about it?"
On day five of Dieter waxing poetic, Todd needed it to end. He was already well adept at navigating the dark web--this was not the first time Dieter had had him track down something weird--but he had absolutely no doubt that Dieter was about to get scammed for a whole lot of money.
No skin off my nose, he reasoned, and negotiated the definitely-not-legit sale anyway. Whatever Dieter wants, Dieter gets. Hopefully, he'll be willing to accept the truth when no magical prophecy thing materializes at his door.
It's over a month later, when Todd feels confident nothing would turn up, and just as Dieter begins to accept this crushing defeat, that a strange, perfect cube of a parcel arrives.
It was a sleek box that felt somewhere between aluminum and heavy cardstock, with a heavier, equally sleek box inside. Something about it seemed almost extraterrestrial.
Todd placed it on the least cluttered corner of Dieter's immensely cluttered coffee table and made a prompt exit. If this thing was somehow the thing Dieter was after, he didn't want to be present for even a minute of the aftermath.
Hours later, when Dieter discovers the parcel, his heart begins to pound. With shaking hands, he unwraps it.
It's a bitch to open, almost akin to one of those puzzle boxes, but even more confounding. There are no visible seams. No obvious opening. He's halfway ready to take a hammer to it when, all of a sudden, it unfolds itself in elegant, silvery, petal-like plates.
Inside is a glass-like cube. Glass-like, but definitely not glass--it didn't have enough weight to it. Not plastic, either. The density wasn't quite right. Inside the cube is a strange, pulsating something.
It's the thing from his dream.
The pulsing thing is a little revolting, but mostly intriguing. (Todd would argue the reverse.) Shape wise, it's grub-like, maybe a handspan long, with its body made up of many near-identical segments. Both ends of it taper to a rounded bulb, and both ends are absolutely dripping with some sort of viscous fluid. No flared base, Dieter notes, and then decides it’s a nonissue.
As well as being, well, somewhat disgusting, it's also quite beautiful. It's iridescent, reminding him of some kind of shimmery beetle. It looks soft, and with every strange pulse, the sheen catches the light and throws rainbows in all the crevices of its little body.
Dieter immediately pops the weirdest boner.
For a man who's impulse control is about as ingrained as his commitment to abstinence, he's incredibly proud that he manages to wait until after this Friday's particularly tedious production meeting wraps up before getting started.
He has this weekend off, and gives everyone on his team the weekend off too. When the last person steps out the door, he locks up and promptly gets naked.
If his prophecy is anything to go off of, he expects this to get messy.
The shower pressure is perfect, and the temperature is just right. Slowly, tenderly, he works himself open. Sometimes he does this even when he doesn’t intend to put anything in his ass, sometimes it’s just for the sensation. This time, though, he absolutely does. 
He isn’t sure if he should run the -thing- under the tap first, cause it’s dripping so profusely he’s worried he’ll shoot it across the entire length of the bathroom like an errant bar of soap. In case the lubricating properties are necessary to the efficacy of the process, however, he holds it gently but firmly with one hand as he lifts it out of its, fuckin, transparent aluminum box, holding his other hand beneath it.
It’s slippery, that’s for certain. And when he presses it against the rim of his asshole, he experiences a very new feeling.
It wriggles. As if the nose? Tail? Indeterminate-and-hopefully-not-sentient-end of the thing seems to respond with enthusiasm the second it’s within sniffing distance of his favorite hole. He feels it pulse in his hand, gushing more of the fluid. For a moment, he’s certain the thing is going to evade his grasp and slip away but instead, as if burrowing, it slides itself up, up and away.
Dieter suddenly feels very full.
If he’s honest, this isn’t quite how he expected it to go. He thought he’d be more involved, for one. For another, he didn’t realize it would scurry so quickly into his butt. He thought he’d be able to hold onto it a little. Fuck himself with it. 
Gently, he presses a finger into himself to see if he can feel where it’s gone. Nothing. He switches from his pointer to his middle finger, slightly longer than the former, and presses even deeper, spreading his cheeks with his fist, sinking in as far as he possibly can.
He doesn’t feel it.
This may be precipitating a (not unfamiliar) ER trip, but he’s not ready to give up yet. Besides, this thing seemed at least a little organic. The likelihood of it perforating his bowel seemed pretty safely nonexistent, so maybe this one can be something of a wait-and-see.
Besides, maybe this is just the process! Little in life was actually straightforward, and his vision was pretty nebulous.
Maybe, to move it along, he needed to start by busting a nut. So he takes his cock in hand and starts pumping, feeling the hot spray of the shower on his back, working out all the kinks.
He’s hard, yes, and it does feel good. But after fifteen minutes of stroking himself, he realizes he isn’t experiencing pleasure, nothing that’s building or arousing, which is in itself a new experience. He can always feel pleasure. It’s the goddamn thing that’s gotten him into trouble more times than he can count.
Now, however, the shower’s started to run cold, his dick’s rubbed raw, and he’s no closer to an orgasm than he is to becoming an elected official. He’s been beaten by his own meat.
It’s absolute bullshit, but as he feels himself start to panic he manages to tamp it down a little. Nothing good will come from spiraling. Instead, he luxuriates in covering his entire body in a particularly wonderful-smelling body oil (for combination pampering and sore skin smoothing) and smokes a fat, fat joint. 
This was Tomorrow Dieter’s problem. 
He gives himself a couple more half-hearted tugs, just in case the oil makes a difference. It doesn’t, and it kind of burns, but he can at least go to sleep knowing he did the best he could.
Tomorrow’s a fresh start.
He slips into bed, takes a moment to appreciate the fabric against his bare skin. With a sigh, he drifts off to sleep.
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Hot midday sunlight blasts through the gaps between the blinds. He should really get some of those non-gappy blinds installed. Or drapes. Nothing beats a good drape.
As he wakes up, something feels… off. He tries to sit up, but there’s something of a mass at his abdomen. He tries to brush it away–probably some detritus he’d left in his bed and forgotten about. Instead, though, the mass doesn’t budge. Instead, he’s suddenly overwhelmed by an intense, blinding pleasure. It hits him and takes over everything, and by the time he comes back down a whole minute later, he’s certain he must’ve just creamed his pants.
He pulls back the covers to check. 
Instead of the view he expects; his fat, hard cock, thighs, and tummy coated with cum–he finds a writhing, twisting heap of squirming tentacles.
He must still be dreaming.
Dieter slams his eyelids together. Presses the palms of his hands against his sockets till his vision goes brown and black spotty. Opens them again.
The tentacles are still there. 
Not knowing what else to do, he reaches out and touches one of them, gingerly. The same blinding pleasure hits him again. It’s only a gentle touch but already he knows that this isn’t just some wayfaring… squid that’s decided to make a home on his belly.
Nope.
This is definitely a part of him now.
He tries tensing and untensing his core muscles. One tentacle slaps out and hits the bed. Another two tangle themselves together. A fourth smacks against one of his nipples and, with a viscid sucker, pulls a desperate whine from him. Though some of the tips seem to always be emerging from him, he’s able to unfurl even more at will. He’d only noticed seven tentacles at first, then tensed, and a second row exploded from him while the outer layer smacked against the bed like a radial motif made of party horns. He thinks there might be even more. A third layer? A fourth?
When he’s able to relax a little and re-focus his attention, shaking, the inner layer sucks back in and he notices that the outer limbs have the same rainbow iridescence as the thing. Of course. Of course!
It takes time, more than an hour to start separating the new sensations from one another. To divide the writhing limbs and control them each individually. When he finally manages to high-five each of his outer tentacles, one-by-one, he’s certain he has at least enough control to avoid causing injury.
By this point, his cock is aching. He wraps two of the lowest tentacles around his length. The tentacles are thick, but his dick is too. They’re quite cold in a way that’s actually delicious. It feels like the cousin of the sensation he experiences when he slips ice cubes in his ass, only way, way more intense.
Just like that thing, too, the tentacles are dripping with the same viscous slick.
He works himself up. It's so intense, soo much stimulation, he half-expects to cum in a fraction of the usual time.
Instead, he finds himself hours later on the verge of tears, not a single orgasm in sight. 
His body simply will not allow him to cum.
It’s miserable, and clearly a horrible, horrible mistake. Will he be like this for the rest of his life, rife with tentacles and unable to clutch at his own pleasure? His dick is sore, having tugged at himself with every limb available. He has sucker marks on his nipples and throat. One tentacle is still squirming around inside his tight little hole and still he can’t reach his peak.
He needs a fucking break.
And maybe some food.
He checks the time. It’s later than he thought, nearly dinnertime. He’s spent his entire day on this.
He starts to formulate a new plan. Order food. Eat. Hydrate. Maybe he’ll scroll through his phone for booty calls and see if he can pinpoint one single person who might not get him sent away to Area 51. Maybe it makes a difference with another person? 
He barely thinks as he fills up his virtual bag and places an order. Leaves a massive tip because he’s getting into hangry territory and needs his food now. 
He shoots Todd a quick ‘I have tentacles now’ text, and closes his eyes.
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It’s been a long day. A bit slow, which makes you itchy, but it hasn’t been too bad.
You’re about to call it a night. Grab yourself a bite to eat, and curl up at home.
Then your phone vibrates in your hand.
A delivery order pings on your phone and the tip is substantial. It’s incredibly close to you, too. You accept immediately, not wanting anyone else to get to it first. The tip alone can keep you afloat till after rent is due.
You rush, heading to the restaurant and, miracle of miracles, it’s a quiet night. The restaurant’s already working on the order and it’s only a matter of minutes before it’s ready to go. 
Twenty minutes from accepting the order, you’re walking up the footpath through a well-manicured succulent garden. The house is ostentatious. An enormous lazy river wraps around the home, and you have to cross over a bridge to get to the fucking door . When you get closer, though, you notice surprisingly beautiful carvings, spandrels, and various other decorative details that make it more than just a generic multi-million dollar cookie cutter home. It’s weird, but it has personality to it.
You get to the door and check the order details. It’s not a no-contact delivery. Instead, the message reads:
very sleepy. need food. 1) knock, if no answer 2) ring doorbell, if no answer 3) bring me food and wake me up and i’ll double the tip for your trouble the door code is 6969
Frankly, it seems a great way to get lured in by a wealthy eccentric and hunted for sport, or recruited to join a cult, or something else equally unfortunate. But self-preservation has never been a priority for you, and life is made to be lived.
You knock. You really want him to open the door himself. Even with permission, going in feels like an enormous invasion, and especially if this guy is sleeping, you really don’t want to tiptoe through this stranger's house.
On the other hand, though, you really can’t see yourself turning down that tip, if it comes to that. Definitely lends itself to your ‘this person is crazy’ theory, but you’re committed. You’re seeing this through.
You knock a second time and wait. Nothing.
Thankfully, after ringing the doorbell, you hear the shuffle of soft footsteps. The lock clicks and turns, and a moment later, you’re face to face with a rather disheveled individual.
His hair is mussed, sticking out in all directions, and, you realize, he looks familiar.
But it only takes a moment to forget that thought entirely.
At first, you hadn’t noticed that anything amiss. He was wearing a striped dressing gown over a crop top and sweats. The stripes, though, looked like they were rippling. And it wasn’t an actual crop top, either, no; the shirt had just been pulled up to accommodate what was on his midsection.
It took every effort not to drop the bag of food when you realize what it is.
“Oh,” he says, noticing your expression. He rubs at his temple, infinitely exhausted as he looks you up and down.
“You’re-” you start.
“Yeah, I’m Dieter Bravo-” he finishes.
You blink, shaking your head. He is in fact Dieter Bravo, you realize, but that doesn’t seem like the most significant thing happening here. “You’re covered in tentacles.”
“Oh,” he says again. “Yeah. I guess they are tentacles."
“Um, are they… yours?”
He shrugs, disinterested.
You fumble to find something to say, instead giving up and thrusting his bag towards him. 
He takes it after a moment.
“Thanks,” he says, not making eye contact. 
Apparently, putting on a robe was this man’s idea of concealing them. Now, he’s not trying to be discreet. The tentacles unfurl, most of them hanging heavy from his abdomen, nearly brushing the floor. Several, however, reach into the food bag and withdraw a burrito and a sauce container.
"Are they--" you watch as two of the tentacles start to unwrap the burrito. The foil tears a bit more than he intends, and then he dunks it a little too heavily into the sauce, which shoots out from the grasp of another tentacle. Salsa verde splatters everywhere. The limbs’ movements are apparently uncontrolled. "Are the tentacles new.. to you?"
He sighs. "Yeah. They just showed up this morning."
You’re not sure what to say. “Huh,” you venture.
“Yeah,” he agrees. But then he looks at you, surveys you, and narrows his eyes. He seems like he’s weighing something.
“Uh, this might be weird, what with this-” he gestures at the tentacles, “Situation. But-”
He hesitates, and you nod, encouraging. “But what?”
Dieter winces. Takes a deep breath, and lets it out.
“Do you wanna have sex with me?”
You look at him. At his tentacles. This is admittedly a lot. It’s almost certainly a bad idea.
But you made a promise to yourself and to your best friend years ago: If you ever have an opportunity to fuck an entity that has tentacles, you’d better say yes.
And it’s Dieter Fucking Bravo. You’re not backing down now.
“Yes I do.”
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It starts surprisingly gently. You lean towards him and he cups your cheek in a broad hand, pulling you in.
This isn’t your first time kissing a stranger. If you’re honest, it’s something of a hobby of yours, so the experience of feeling a new give-and-take was familiar despite its novelty. 
What you’d never experienced before, however, was that from the first moment his tongue stroked into your mouth, you felt the most delicious pull.
You were already a little excited, but before even a moment had passed, you now felt yourself drench. Your pussy was drooling, the slick pooling between your legs.
You’re certain he can feel it too.
What had been a look of pleasure and curiosity twisted  into absolute hunger. You swear you can see his eyes dilating. After a moment, you’re certain yours must be, too. The room suddenly feels too bright.
Whatever disinterest he’d shown when you’d turned up at his door has dissolved, replaced with an urgent enthusiasm. “Fuck I’ve been needing this all day.”
From the front door, all down the hallway to the bedroom, a trail of clothing marks your path. 
Between kisses he explains.
“Ever since-” a kiss, “the tentacles–”
You grab him by the hair and he moans.
“I can’t cum. I’ve tried, for hours-”
You hop on one leg and then the other, peeling your socks off as Dieter steadies you by the waist.
“Been jacking off all day-,” he peels his own shirt off, hands flying frantically to make quick work of his clothes, “But I think I need someone else. My body just won’t work. Been hard as fucking rock but nothing happens-”
You slip an arm around his waist and drag your teeth along his collar, grinning when he melts into you.
“You poor thing,” you tell him, and you look in his eyes when you make your promise; “I’ll try and help, much as I can.”
"Amazing," He grins. “I feel better already.”
Dieter’s entirely bare, but you’re still wearing clothing. Something, you both realise, is passing between you. It’s a strange electricity that heightens every sensation. You feel the scruff of his beard against your cheek, you feel your underwear soaked. When he pinches at your nipple, you nearly howl at the pleasure that washes over you. 
As you feel each touch, the sensation builds in a way that’s totally alien to you. He shoves a hand in your pants and groans when he feels the thatch of hair at your cunt. He rubs two fingers along your slit, not stimulating your clit and not even trying to. He’s just warming up what feels like every single nerve ending in your entire vulva till you’re bucking against him.
He pulls his hand away and touches a finger to his tongue, tasting you. Two tentacles make fast work of the button of your jeans. Another wraps around your waist, lifting you up from the floor and suspending you in the air to peel the denim from you, unceremoniously tossing the garment behind you somewhere.
He’s fully naked. His cock hangs heavy and a little to the right, and there’s so much precum, it streams down his thigh where his tip meets the flesh of his leg.
You reach forward and wrap your fist around him. At your touch, he shudders. It’s a beautiful, desperate noise, and already, there’s so much more slick leaking out of him that any suspicion that this amount of oozy fluid isn’t normal is entirely confirmed. You wrap your hand around his length and he melts into your touch with a whine. 
The tentacles wrap around you. You’re not sure how many there are, and their movement is fast and intentional. The man in front of you is essentially a walking sex toy from your sickest, wettest dreams, and you will not waste this.
You reach for one of the tentacles, whatever is nearest to you. For a moment you think it’ll pull out of your grasp, but then it relaxes at your grip. You stick your tongue out and lick the tip, getting the suckers at the end nice and wet. Then, you realize it’s superfluous; the tentacles themselves are already leaking, oozing a pearlescent, cum-like fluid. For all you know, it is cum.
With your thumb, you swirl the slick around one of the larger suckers, and look Dieter right in the eye when you pull one of your bra cups down and press the sucker against your nipple. With barely a flick of effort, a tendril unhooks your bra, pulling it off of you before slicking up your other nipple and pulling a throaty moan from you.
His breath catches just watching you. It’s perfect suction, slick and firm and oh-so steady. 
“How many do you think you can take?” He asks, pink-faced and restless. The flush is so endearing. He looks desperate.
“Give me all you’ve got,” you tell him.
He whines and hisses. You think he might be deliberating, but after a moment it’s like a switch has flipped, releasing any inhibitions he may have held onto, unlocking his filthy tongue.
“Lemme see that wet little snatch,” he purrs, “That’s it, open those legs for me-” 
As if simply willing it–and that may as well be all that it takes–you both watch as one of the fat tentacles splits from the tip, sticky goo trailing between the trifurcated ends like an aloe vera leaf sliced apart. The three new tips writhe apart before slamming into your mouth. Two others pluck at your skin, marring the soft flesh of your inner thighs.
You yelp, muffled, as your legs are spread wide by slick, strong limbs, smaller tendrils prodding at your slick panties before giving up and tearing them apart. Elastic slips loose from your hips, and the gusset of the underwear is a ragged hole.
He steps closer, holds you effortlessly. You’re suspended by a whole mass of tentacles, the suckers pulsating against your skin, dark purple blooms beginning to bruise beneath them. Dieter’s face is so close to your cunt, your first instinct is to close your legs. He holds them open further, though, and breathes deep. “You smell like a fucking dream,” he praises, running a think finger along your folds, dipping in gently, stroking along you, finding where you’re most sensitive.
After a thorough examination, he steps back. “Gonna play with you, baby,” he tells you.
"Jesus Christ", you breathe. The tentacles in your mouth slip out and another tentacle presses at your opening. It slips with a lewd squelch and little resistance, pumps in a couple times, and pulls out to wrap around Dieter’s cock. He strokes himself with the slippery tentacle and lets out a groan.
"Feels like fucking heaven," he breathes, and another tentacle replaces the first, plunging into your cunt and pulsating, filling you so nicely, making you shake. 
You fight against the flutter of your eyelids. There’s so much sensation it’s hard to keep your eyes open, but you need to see him. Need to see this.
“Can you feel with them?” you ask, “With the tentacles?”
“Hmm,” he ponders, “Yes, but–” he slips a second tentacle in with the one already probing your hole and you feel very full. They twist and turn, writhing, pumping in and out of you. You’ve barely gotten started but you can already feel yourself start to build. At this rate, you’ll be squirting all over him in absolutely no time at all.
“I feel it,” he tells you, “And it feels really good, like, fuuuckkk–but it feels like it’s not just me controlling them. It is me, but it’s more than just me. I don’t know how else to explain it.”
“Then don’t,” you smile, “Just fuck yourself with them the same way you’re fucking me.”
He lets out another whine. It’s cute, really. Only a minute ago he’d been telling you what to do, and with the slightest prodding, he seems eager to obey. You could get far too used to this.
“C’mon, baby,” you coax, your hips canting, thrusting against the slippery tentacles pressing deeper, deeper-, “Keep going just like that. And open yourself up, too.”
He groans, and two tentacles move around him to start spreading his cheeks. A third prods tenderly at his hole.
Just as a third tentacle presses into your cunt, and another is gently pressing it’s suckers up your throat and holding you in place, Dieter is rendered incoherent as one thick tentacle shoves its way into him. Immediately, he sees stars. If this was the result of an entire day of edging, it was more than worth it.
You’re rutting against the tentacles that are fucking you, meeting each thrust. There’s a pulse pumping through each limb, making you feel impossibly full. When you look at Dieter, you’re certain you can see the bulge of a tentacle in his belly, filling him up so full.
You barely have time to process the build of your arousal before the tip of one of the tentacles suckers against your clit and another twists inside you, hits you in just the right way, and you tip over.
Cum spurts from you, your entire body convulsing. You try to close your thighs, try to pull away from the sensation, but you’re still being held aloft and spread out, fully bared. Instead of stopping or slowing, the tentacles only fuck into you faster and deeper. You can’t stop coming, certain at this point you’ve made a whole damn puddle on the floor beneath you.
Dieter watches, transfixed by the entire show that’s played out before him. He’s red-faced, his skin mottled with purple bruises, cock so hard it looks painful, and has a trio of tendrils ass-fucking him.
When your orgasm finally, finally tapers off, you almost expect your holds to release you. A new hunger stirs in you, though, and when you’re still held tight, you’re oddly grateful for it.
Dieter lowers you, pulling you towards him. He kisses you, open-mouthed and messy, groaning into it. After a few moments he pulls away from you, slick lipped and panting. When he speaks, his voice is raspy and desperate, a monstrous echo following it to create a bizarre, two-tone sound.
The tentacles that aren’t already on or in you both start whipping around, grabbing for purchase and pulling away as if they can’t make up their mind.
Dieter pushes you back. Starts to withdraw.
You hold him in place.
Now you can see his eyes.
They’re totally black. Even the sclerae are gone, murky with inky swirls, glassy and wide and beautiful.
“I- I think you need to leave,” he begs, “It’s too much. They’re taking too much from me.”
You reach out to put a hand on his cheek, and he leans in for a moment before flinching away.
“No!” He hisses, “You need to go. It feels too good, it won’t let me stop. I won’t be able to stop. I don’t know how far it’ll go, but if you don’t leave, I don’t think I can stop it.”
Warmth and clarity floods you. You’re not sure how much is your own mind, and how much is this thing that’s taken over, but it’s sweet, really.
He thinks you could stop if you wanted to.
“It’s okay,” you assure him, and you feel the way he melts, feel the way the tentacles stop fighting and start wrapping around your limbs again, their grasp pulling tighter and tighter, “You take what you need.”
With a sob, he lets go.
The tentacles set you down. Your legs shake, and you barely have time to blink before he’s on you. Any distance you had is gone now, his hands grasping at you, his body flush against yours. You can feel the weight of his cock against your thigh, the strength of his arms holding you. He’s steadying you, or maybe steadying himself. The skin-to-skin contact feels so fucking good and, if the way his hands fly all over you, you’re certain he feels it too.
One big hand grabs at your breast, the other clutching the flesh of your hip. He grinds against you, messy and sticky and so, so delicious. 
He settles you back against a surface, seats you and spreads your legs with his strong hands. A tentacle grabs at your jaw almost tenderly, plucking at the skin, holding you gently.
Dieter lines up his cock and sinks into you, groaning at the hot wet clutch that sucks him in. The surrounding tendrils wrap around you both. You’re certain there are still tentacles fucking into him, but you think another might join, right at the same time you feel the slippery tip of one prodding at your own asshole.
You relax into it, nod to let him know you’re ready, and moan as you feel the slimy length penetrate you. Dieter moans, too, entirely lost in the sensation.
He fucks you fast and deep. You’ve never felt fullness like this before. The pump of the tentacles into both you and Dieter matches his rhythm. 
“Fuck-” he croaks, desperate, “Think I’m getting close-”
“That’s it, baby,” you soothe, “Makin’ me feel so fucking good. Come on, baby, come for me-”
He pulls you into him, presses his lips to your in a kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth, longer and deeper than it has any right to be. It’s a tentacle, too, you realize, and you moan into the suckers that have started pulling at your tongue. It’s disgusting and absolutely exquisite.
He only manages two more thrusts before he explodes.
You feel his balls pulse, cum flooding your cunt. The tentacles pulse too, though, and soon your mouth is full, your ass, his ass. Like fireworks popping off in quick succession, every tentacle unloads, one after the next, painting the entire room in dripping swaths of cum.
He lets out a noise that sounds like something between a sob and a laugh, final blessed release at last reaching him. 
Dieter pulls out, but continues rocking against you, humping your thigh as his alien limbs continue to surge with spend.
After several long, sticky minutes, you unfurl from one another. With some distance between you, you’re able to see the damage that’s been done. The room is a disaster. You can literally see cum dripping from the ceiling.
Dieter’s looking around the room, too, but he doesn’t look concerned. No, he looks impressed.
“Well shit,” he surveys everything around him. “That was fun.”
You’re still catching your breath as he rummages around and procures a stash box. You can see a variety of substances; baggies filled with powder, assorted pills, a few things you don’t recognise, and a fat pouch full of bud.
He rolls a joint, licks the paper, packs it, and sparks it.
“So, uh-” you start, unsure where you’re going with it.
He beats you to it.
“You wanna stay over?”
You stare at him.
“I mean, it just seems rude to send someone home after sharing some life-altering tentacle sex, right?”
“I was unaware there was standard etiquette regarding tentacle sex.”
He shrugs. “All etiquette is just made up, right?”
A glob of cum drips from the ceiling and lands with a dull splat against the top of your head.
You burst out laughing.
Dieter’s eyes crinkle, and he’s laughing too.
He passes you the joint. You take it, wiping cum from your forehead.
“All right,” you tell him, “I’ll stay over.”
Dieter checks his phone, pulls up Todd’s text thread.
Beneath his tentacles text is Read 1:43pm. He rolls his eyes and follows it up.
you remember those cleaners? the good ones? the crime scene ones?
I need em
soon as they’re free
promise it’s not a crime scene this time
there’s just a lot of cum
After you’re both showered, you go to Dieter’s spare bedroom. Hazy from the weed and exhausted from the hands-down weirdest and best sex of your life, you collapse together.
Dieter’s tentacles look different. Smaller, maybe? Less hungry. Sated.
You fall asleep with his tentacles around you.
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When you wake up, his arms are around you instead, holding you close. His abdomen is bare, only skin left.
You start to wriggle, to turn over, but something’s in your way.
There’s something at your abdomen, blocking your movements.
Dieter begins to stir. He stretches, rubs his eyes, and takes you in.
“Babe-” he grins, “You’ve gotta fuck me with those!”
Your own set of shimmering tentacles slip and writhe from your body. You pull him close, suddenly hungry, and get to work.
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