****ASTARION SPOILERS****
God I LOVE Astarion. Larian was genius for this like, yes, we were lured in for the same reason he was damned in the first place: his looks. He can't control that he's beautiful-he just is. It’s been both his boon and his curse—it’s kept him alive and made him successful among Cazadors spawn, but it’s also what placed him within Cazador’s grasp in the first place.
It’s been used to shackle him for 200 years. We as the player can see that and become the monster in Cazador's place by assisting in binding him forever more to his trauma via ascension. He must embody a new role, but he’s bound all the same.
We played our parts well, falling for his looks, indulging in his games. We get to decide if we meet him genuinely as he meets us after he confesses and his trauma is further revealed. Will we continue to use him to satisfy our whims and attraction? Or will we see him for who he desperately wants to be? With ascension, his greatest 'triumph' is forever defined by his worst trauma. All because we want a piece of him...we want spicy, powerful, wrathful Astarion. We decide his sarcastic quips are worth more than the shreds of his humanity. Instead of nurturing his softness and safety—we indulge in the parts of him that are a farce: namely the violence, the revenge, the sardonic cruelty he used to mask his pain and avoid further harm.
Because of that greed we choose to invest in, we leave ascended Astarion with nothing left to give, except for his body and this profane power-what he was running from when we found him.
We may not gouge infernal into his back, but we leave our own cruel marks on him. Carving his very soul from his body. The few bits Cazador didn’t take, the pieces he manage to hide away under a selfish facade. The shards of himself that he was JUST beginning to grasp at—happiness, love, hope—we help rend from him fully. Truly leaving him a husk, a tool, seeking to satisfy Cazador’s own whim still; only now with Astarion at the helm.
It’s tragic, it’s heartbreaking. It positions Astarion as a mirror. He may not see his own reflection, but through him you can see yours. A cruel lover that creates a merciless god.
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Spider dads is so funny because its Peter "I like the make the stupidest jokes and watch people speed run the stages of grief when they realize they're still attracted to me" B Parker and Miguel "if someone tenderly kissed my forehead I think I'd faint" O'Hara in a relationship. Bonus points if MJ is part of the polycule
you did it you broke spiderdads down to the bare essentials!
no but seriously look at this snippet of my wip.
“Oh,” he says simply, at a loss for words. It’s— It’s overwhelming, this blatant display of Peter’s love for him, and he curses himself for this being the state he meets MJ in. “I’m sorry, I just—”
“It’s alright. His love can be overwhelming, sometimes, I know.”
like. peter “i am loud with my love no matter how cheesy it is” b parker. miguel “i get overwhelmed by love and question if i deserve it” o’hara. mj “i am subtle with my love and it cuts all the deeper because of it” watson-parker.
what a god damn trio. i can’t stop thinking about them.
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Howdy y’all. I’m a bit nervous to share this but I might as well. I’m gonna scrap this prologue. I know I said I was gonna do it before and then I got going on it but I think it’s official now. I’m getting really bored with this chapter and it’s not going anywhere. The story for lbl has changed a lot and I think it’s something that I am set in stone with, and this prologue simply does not fit the story anymore. And instead of trying to write around plot holes, I just decided to get rid of it entirely. I will keep the comic up, I’m actually proud of some of the comic pages and I want people to see it, and if you wanna read the story you can read the fic I wrote (tho it sucks so much just a fair warning). But the only thing that fits the story is the very end, which is where Sky gets pulled into a portal, which I drew above! Everything else is too complicated. Like the whole nightmare involving Hylia? She was gonna serve a bigger role in the story, probably a side villain or something, but truthfully people made me feel bad about that and I found a better villain and reasoning on why the boys are all together, so Hylia barely even has a role in the story. Sooo yeah, this comic is ending.
Im gonna take some time to outline the whole story and I’m gonna continue working on the first chapter, which I have been working on for a while now, but I just wanna be nicer to myself for this, and the sky arc was killing my self esteem. So wish me luck and I’ll see y’all in the first chapter!
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I am here to request a part 3 to that Angsty SwissDew Phantom fic going on if you have more ideas 👀 -🌱
Yes I promise Swissdew make up, I won’t leave them like that for too long.
Here’s for everyone yelling at me to fix them. This is technically part 3 in this weird saga.
I made it worse before I made it better BUT I DID MAKE IT BETTER SO
(For those who are used to my usual insanity around here, trust me I’m working hard for October, I hope you’re excited!!)
You can read the first two parts here and here
They don’t speak for days. Swiss too ashamed of his actions to face dew, and dew is too embarrassed over his outburst to face Swiss. They both mull over the situation the entire time they’re apart. Itching to speak to the other but wondering if the damage had been done, if they’ll accept the others apology.
Swiss knows he’s in the wrong. It’s a feeling that eats at him because although he’s never been one that can’t admit his faults, this one makes him feel ashamed of himself. The countless mistakes that all piled on top of dew to handle and he didn’t even take the time to sit and talk with him anymore since aethers been gone. He’s barely made the time to sit with himself to handle his own emotions.
Swiss knows it was a stupid approach to try and ignore losing such a close packmate. The idea that if you never stop doing things you won’t have the time to truly sit with your grief. It’s why he’s been so clingy to phantom. It’s why he’s taken on extra work around the abbey. It’s why he’s been ignoring dew.
Dew took an opposite approach, something much more self destructive. He lets the grief eat away at him until he’s a sad shell of his former self because in dews mind what’s the point if his closest pack mate isn’t there?
He can’t act normal because nothing is normal anymore. It never will be.
Opposite ends of an equally destructive path and it’s no wonder they both don’t know how to act around each other anymore. Swiss doesn’t see dew in those less than firey eyes anymore and dews been convinced that Swiss has dropped him like a broken toy, too damaged to play with.
Swiss still sees aether in dew. Small pieces that put his heart in his throat and squeezes his lungs because he knows dew will fight tooth and nail for every last bit of him.
The books that stay on his night stand, no doubt being picked through night by night. Dew hoping if he throws himself into the literature aether loved he can gain enough of him back to quell the ache in his stomach.
The cologne he wore everyday has now become a room spray, the scent sometimes wafting under the door.
He’s even kept the last cup aether used to drink water in his room on the nightstand. When mountain tried to take it to help clean up the mess of dews greiving he received a long gash through his arm, dew screaming at him to not touch it.
And after all of this Swiss still never tried to help.
His stomach continues to hurt.
Phantom reminds him of aether too. The light in his eyes while he learns, the smell of quintessence, swiss realizes that that’s why he’s been clinging so hard. He’s been trying to relive his friendship through the new ghoul.
The look in dews eyes starts to make sense to him. A painful glare in their direction because dew thinks he’s trying to replace aether. It’s why he yelled when phantom came in. It’s why he freaked out when he saw them. It’s why he can’t even look at the poor younger ghoul. It’s why Swiss looked so frightened when he witnessed this, because he’s not looking at phantom as phantom. He was looking at him as aether.
It’s a hard debate between telling himself dew needed him and that dew was going to destroy himself no matter what he did to prevent it.
Dews also one of his closest friends. And even if he was going to hurt himself trying to cope with the trauma, Swiss is damned if he’s going to sit around and simply let him.
He hopes it’s not too late.
-
Dew doesn’t take the situation that happened between them well either. Already feeling abandoned by Swiss and then he looks at him like he doesn’t even know him. Dew feels like he’s not himself anymore. Merely a puppet or a cheap imitation. He doesn’t find joy in many things anymore, he barely leaves his room. He feels like a burden with his heavy emotions, like he’s too much and that must be why Swiss doesn’t talk to him.
He wonders if he was wrong. If he lashed out too harshly. Did he deserve it? To be treated like he needs magic to fix him? Did he deserve to be treated like he needs fixing?
Does he need to be fixed?
A fire claws at his throat at the thought.
-
Dew jumps when he hears a knock. No one really checks on him too much anymore when he gets like this. He’s assumed to want to be left alone.
“Please let me in” Swiss says. It sounds like he’s being crying.
“Ok” dew calls timidly. He debated staying silent, or even just begging him to leave. But it’s hard to say no to someone he loves and has missed so deeply.
“I want to apologize”
“You don’t have to”
“But I do. I hurt you and that’s not ok. Please let me explain it to you” Swiss moves closer to dew, tests the waters.
Dew just nods slowly in response.
“I’m sorry I abandoned you. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was scared and didn’t want to handle my own grief and you got the bad end of that stick and you don’t deserve that.” He starts
Tears prick at dews eyes when he says you don’t deserve that, it should be an obvious statement but to hear it outloud is vindicating and more than he could ask for at this moment.
“You needed me and I spent my time with someone else instead of helping you when I knew you needed it. I still see a lot of aether in you, and it didn’t know how to handle it. I ran instead of being rational.”
Swiss looks like he’s crying too. It hurts to admit everything. How terrible he’s been.
“I tried to fix you with magic, I wanted old you back and i didn’t try to care for you to get that back, I wanted to do it the easy way and again you don’t deserve that. You don’t need fixed dewdrop.”
you don’t need fixed dewdrop
Dew hiccups at the words
“I’m sorry. I love you. I love and care about you so much and I’m going to do better if you’ll let me” Swiss looks back up. Both are crying heavily.
Dew just nods and collapses into the multi ghoul. He’s warm and smells of bergamot. The arms that wrap around him feel like home again and dew realizes how much he’s missed this.
Swiss tries to hold onto him for dear life. Like he may change his mind if he doesn’t.
The wound is still fresh and open but for now they just lay in dews bed together. Limbs wrapped around each other and sweet nothings whispered into soft skin.
Things haven’t been solved. But swiss is just happy to have his fire ghoul back in his arms.
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