#hope u like them!!!!!111

[hyunpic]

for @mybodyfails ♡

[forlix]

𝐚𝐜𝐞・h.h.

— volleyball superstar and your personal hell hwang hyunjin proposes a trade-off you can't refuse: his matchmaking services for a passing anthropology grade. the plan is foolproof in theory; in practice, it is something else entirely.

words・15.2k

pairing・volleyball player!hyunjin x tutor!reader (gn)

genres・college!au, sports!au, fake enemies to friends to lovers, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, slice of life, mutual pining, slow burn. two polar opposites sharing one soul. a seungjin fic if u squint. loosely inspired by the manga/anime haikyuu!!

warnings・mentions of anxiety, fear of failure, heartbreak, loneliness, and self-image. course language and callous banter (as always) ft. suggestive flirting and one kms joke. some of the referenced players and coaches are real; this fic is not.

playlist・collision by stray kids・value by ado・waiting for us by stray kids・eternity by bang chan・dreaming by smallpools・fly high!! by burnout syndromes

a/n・writing this felt like returning to my roots tbh. i love volleyball and i love sports aus and i love, love hwang hyunjin. thank u to my sahar for bringing this fic to life with me, as always; i can no longer write for him without also writing for you. i hope u guys enjoy reading this as much as i adored writing it. happy late birthday, our jinnie, our hyunjin, our forever ace; you are so unbelievably loved ♡

“Not a word out of you,” you say, tossing your backpack onto the floor of the lecture hall with a heavy-handed flick. “I’m serious.”

Hyunjin glances up at you with a frown. “When did people stop saying good morning?”

Your lack of an immediate comeback tells him the situation is dire. He observes you for a moment, his mouth falling open, hanging still, then curving into a slow, serpentine smile.

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Please, angel.”

“No! Leave me alone.”

Hyunjin slumps back into his seat, thinking hard. The solution occurs to him with a poke of his tongue into his cheek. “Coffee on me for a week.”

At this, your hands stop rummaging in your bag. You cock your head, your interest piqued. Got you. 

When you finally humor him and turn around, you’re flinching like you’re in pain, eyes closed and breath held and all. He giggles and leans in for a closer look. Tendrils of your body spray reach him from here, floral and light like a tropical coastline. He could’ve counted your eyelashes if he wasn’t so flummoxed by the state of your forehead.

“What the hell did you do?”

“Tried to cut my own bangs,” you sigh. “It didn’t go very well and now I look like Rock Lee.”

Hyunjin lets out a forceful laugh. “You’ve seen Naruto?”

You open your eyes. Only then does Hyunjin remember how little distance he left between your faces, when he’s staring straight into them and all the strange, starry speckles they hold.

The air between you curdles like sour milk.

Things are awkward between you often, he’s realized recently. What’s more, he didn’t think he was capable of being awkward with anyone anymore until he met you. It was your ill-fated seat that he chose to sit next to on the first day of ANTH 111, your ill-fated lap onto which he chose to spill his Americano, and the rest was history (or, in this case, anthropology). His tongue ends up in sailor’s knots with every smart-aleck comment and pitiful laugh you’ve given him since. Maybe there’s more to it, maybe there isn’t—Hyunjin doesn’t think about it much. He doesn’t like thinking in general.

You pull away from each other in unison. You clear your throat, glancing elsewhere. 

“Of course I’ve seen Naruto,” you quip, and everything is normal again. “Why do you seem surprised?”

“Because you’re so scholarly.”

“I am not scholarly.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You go to a park to play chess with old people on weekends.”

“I need to get my steps in somehow.”

“You didn’t know what Urban Dictionary was until I told you to look up—”

“God, I learned so much about you that day."

“Your favorite social media platform is Quizlet,” he bursts, exasperated. “Quizlet.”

“It is not.” An introspective pause. “Or is it?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Hyunjin throws his feet up on the chair below him, jabs in your direction with a bandaged finger. “There is no way you enjoy watching 2D men beat each other up in your free time. I don’t buy it.”

“Honestly, I thought you’d have more to say about my current appearance than my hobbies.”

He does, though. Matter of fact, he’s been curating a list since this conversation started: Vector from Despicable Me, Dora the Explorer’s hot older sibling, Spock. You face-planted into a lawnmower. You mistook a paper shredder for a hat. It goes on.

But then his head turns. Your eyes meet again. He’s reminded that it’s hard to sustain an inner monologue and look at you at the same time, Vector resemblance and all.

He reaches up, nudges a lock of your hair over a centimeter or so, and gives the patch of forehead a gentle flick.

“Watermelon,” he mumbles with a sickening smile.

You divert your attention to your lecture notes with a disappointed click of your tongue. “You’re getting soft.”

He spends the entire lecture daydreaming about tropical coastlines.

“I only get coffee from that one place on the east side of campus, by the way,” you say as you’re strolling out the building together, “and I get it a very specific way. Can you handle it?”

“Your faith gets me out of bed in the morning,” Hyunjin deadpans. “I’ll handle it, love. Text me your order.”

All of a sudden, you position your hands close to your stomach, the lapels of your jacket casting them in shadow. Your fingers begin to move in a sequence that he’d recognize anywhere.

“Body flicker jutsu,” you whisper, and then you’re scurrying off without another word—but you do glance back at him to gauge his response. Your smile is purely effulgent, your laugh but a faint sigh against the main quad’s busy thrum.

Hyunjin gapes at your retreating figure for so long that phosphenes start prancing around his field of view. Then he heads to the gym. His heart is pounding against his ribs like a battering ram.

“Hwang, I need you in my office.”

Hyunjin stops lacing up his shoes to see Coach Bang standing on the court’s sideline with a grim air about him. He glances at his captain, confused.

“Don’t look at me,” Minho says mid-stretch. “Godspeed.”

“Thanks, cap.” Useless.

Head volleyball coach Christopher Bang’s workspace reminds Hyunjin of a morgue. It’s all fluorescent lights and spotless white walls, the only decorative fixture a picture of his siblings, parents, and dog in front of the Sydney Opera House, framed and facing him atop his desk. Hyunjin once snuck the thing into the bathroom, an innocent plot to satiate his curiosity, and promptly discovered the man’s propensity for violence. He’s packing beneath those dry-cleaned polos, by the way.

Hyunjin closes the door and takes a seat. Bang taps a knuckle against the tempered glass of his monitor. “You can read, right?”

“Yes, coach,” he sighs. Everyone’s expectations for him are subterranean.

From: Park Jinyoung «asiansoul_jyp@snu.edu» To: Bang “Christopher” Chan «cb97@snu.edu» Subject: Not good See email from Hwang’s antopology professor below . He submitted the complete script of the Trolls movie instead of his mid term paper and now he’s failing the class . Not good . Sort out ASAP JP Sent from my iPad

Bang snatches up his mouse and scrolls, his ears turning scarlet. “Wrong email.”

“Yep.”

From: Kim Kyeyoung «kyeyoungkim@snu.edu» To: Park Jinyoung «asiansoul_jyp@snu.edu» Subject: Regarding Hwang Hyunjin To Director of Athletics Park, I am writing to inform you that, as of yesterday, Mr. Hwang Hyunjin has a D- (64.9%) in ANTH 111: Cultural Anthropology, due to his submission of the complete script of a kids’ movie instead of his midterm paper. It is disappointing to see Mr. Hwang trivialize and ridicule my class to such a degree. Please see to it that he reorganizes his priorities lest his Student-Athlete Participation Agreement do so for him. Regards, Kim Kyeyoung Professor of Anthropology

“That’s bullshit!”

“We’re in agreement there.” Bang folds his arms over his chest, throws his foot over his knee. “Do you know what your Student-Athlete Participation Agreement says?”

“Does anyone?” Hyunjin scoffs. Bang whips out a form and brings it to eye level, the thing covered from top to bottom in microscopic Times New Roman. “No way you just had that.”

“I had it delivered ten minutes ago,” Bang confesses, then clears his throat and begins to recite. “All student-athletes must complete the academic term with a C or higher in all courses, should they wish to continue their participation in athletics thereafter.”

Hyunjin stiffens. “What the fuck? I’ve never heard—”

“If any Department of Athletics personnel,” Bang continues, raising his voice, “have reason to believe that a student-athlete will not be able to satisfy this requirement, they are encouraged to utilize resources such as academic advising or peer tutoring in guiding said student-athlete back onto the correct path.”

He shoves the piece of paper across his desk. “Read that name aloud for me.”

Hyunjin stares at the signature at the bottom of the page, scrawled so carelessly that most of it deviates away from its designated line. There is a rare hollowness in his chest that he recognizes as anxiety. With it comes a glimpse of a life without volleyball, the question of what little of him would remain.

“Hwang Hyunjin,” he says under his breath.

The office goes silent. Bang tucks the form back into his drawer. It closes with a gentle click.

Then comes the yelling.

“The Trolls movie? Trolls?! Are you fucking with me, Hwang?”

“It was a cultural reset! The pinnacle of modern media! How’s that for anthropology?”

“BAD!” Bang explodes, gesturing to the email emphatically. “VERY, VERY BAD!”

Hyunjin slumps over, dejected.

“You’ve never had trouble with school before.” He leans over his desk imposingly. “What the hell happened this semester? What changed?”

Nothing is the first answer that comes to mind, but Hyunjin’s pulse spikes like a lie detector. Upon the inside of his eyes replays a scene of a certain someone with watermelon bangs doing teleportation jutsu at him from a few yards away, wearing a smile made of some kind of space dust that astronomists haven’t discovered yet.

He grits his teeth, annoyed. This is what happens when he thinks.

“Beats me,” he fibs. “Typical junior year stress, maybe.”

“Does any of it have to do with Piazza?” 

Hyunjin shudders.

It just might, actually.

Modesty has no place in the career he’s had: high school national champion turned ace hitter in both the South Korean U21 roster and regular rotation for Seoul National University, the best collegiate volleyball team in the country. His name has lived at the top of ranking lists and the center of gold medals since he turned old enough to qualify for them; the press believes him the instigant of South Korea’s imminent volleyball revolution. It’s a mouthful, he knows.

It was never a question that he would go professional; the question was who he should talk to and where he would go.

At the start of the school year, Bang, acting in place of the agent he was advised to find and never bothered to, gave him a list of people to reach out to. On the very top was none other than Roberto Piazza, the chairman and head coach of Allianz Milano, one of the most eminent club teams in the world—and current home to Hyunjin’s personal idol, outside hitter Ishikawa Yuki.

Hyunjin thought his poor coach had finally succumbed to his old age. The thought of stepping onto the same court as Ishikawa felt sacrilegious, let alone donning the red, white, and navy blue of Allianz Milano with him. But Bang slapped him on the back of the neck and reminded him that going professional was equal parts preparation and opportunity; he was never going to know the answers to questions he didn’t ask. Hyunjin was coerced to fire off an introductory email despite his reservations.

Piazza replied within the week.

For the last five months, Hyunjin has been fighting with tooth and nail to manage his expectations. He scrolls past the team’s social media posts like they burn his eyes. He replies to Piazza’s emails right before working out with Changbin under the assumption that whatever the shredded libero does to him will eviscerate his brain. If his world is made of dreams, this is the one at its very core, imbued with destructive potential the second it became attainable.

But that’s the last five months. The last five weeks have been you kicking him in the shin because he’s laughing (or trying to make you laugh) and the professor is staring; you listening to him rant and rave about volleyball when he knows you couldn’t care less about the sport; you relaying the contents of your class readings like hot gossip, your eyes wild and hands flying around because you can’t contain your excitement. You, you, you.

He cards a hand through his air, regaining focus. “You know how I feel about Piazza.”

“Expect the worst, hope for the best.” Bang’s chair skids backwards as he stands up. “I think it’s a good approach.”

Suddenly, he is directly in front of Hyunjin, low enough to meet his eyes. His hands rest upon his shoulders firmly.

“But hope is hungry, and it will consume you if you let it,” he says. “Do not let it, Hyunjin. I’m not asking.”

Even while being squeezed to a pulp and regarded with the cold intensity of a statue, Hyunjin can’t help but feel anchored, somehow, to the floor of this miserable office. Protected.

Bang lets go of him. “I’m not asking you to find a tutor by the end of the week, either.”

Hyunjin groans. “Yeah, yeah. I’m on it.”

A set of bandaged fingers appear in your periphery to place a paper cup onto your laptop. Accompanying the smell of fresh coffee is that of smoky rose, as decidedly douchey as ever.

“I thought you said your order was complicated.”

You look up from your phone to see Hyunjin plop into the adjacent seat. His long, caramel-colored hair is damp and unstyled in the aftermath of a morning shower, droplets of water pearling on the lapels of a navy blue windbreaker, layered over a white long sleeve. You recognize the outfit by now as game gear.

“Was it not?” You ask.

“It was an Americano, love. I walked up to the cashier and placed an order for an Americano.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure if you could handle that much.” He flips you off as you squint at the cup. “Someone wrote their number on the lid, by the way.”

“What? Really?”

“No.”

He shoves you hard enough for your upper body to drape over the opposite armrest; you’re still cackling by the time you’ve straightened up again.

“Why did you get this, anyway?” Hyunjin grumbles. “I thought you had a sweet tooth.”

“I do, but you don’t.”

Only then does the fool understand that you had no intention of charging him in coffee just for a haircut reveal. He takes back the coffee hesitantly.

“Thanks,” he says at last. “Nice of you.”

“I know, right? Hated it,” you respond, and he almost chokes on his first sip.

You almost choke on nothing when Kim Seungmin materializes in the aisle adjacent. He holds out a hand in Hyunjin’s direction. “Yo.”

Hyunjin dabs it up mid-sip. “I fully forgot you were in this class.”

“Well, I’m due for my weekly appearance.” Seungmin slips into the seat directly below you, glancing at you over his shoulder. “Hey, Y/N.”

“Hi,” you say, somehow managing to stumble over the single syllable the word has. You thank your lucky stars that you fixed your hair yesterday.

You like Kim Seungmin. Not just in the cutesy, crushy way, but in the “I would relinquish all of my rights for you” way where you spend every waking moment cursing out whatever stroke of misfortune placed Hyunjin in the seat next to you instead of him. He’s funny, gorgeous, and talented—a vocal performance major with a student-athlete contract—and you think your infatuation is more than justified. Hyunjin thinks it’s hilarious.

You side-eye your blonde adversary, prepared to see one of three things: a suppressed laugh, a dramatic eye-roll, or a mature kissy face that usually results in the first option. You’re met with something far more worrisome.

He’s thinking.

That can’t be good.

Suddenly, his phone screen lights up with a text that temporarily wipes the conspiratorial gleam from his eye. Hyunjin scans it over and groans. “Can this guy do his fucking job?”

“He wouldn’t have to if you didn’t quit,” Seungmin answers. “I’ll never forget you, Manager Hwang.”

“Shut up.” You peer at Hyunjin, silently requesting an explanation. “Our captain is forcing us to help him look for a new team manager. We need one for playoffs because of some stupid U-League rule—Seung, why do you look morose?”

“I’m mourning.” Seungmin does look morose indeed. “Hyunjin committed larceny last year and our coach punished him by making him our team manager for the rest of the season. It was so funny.”

Hyunjin slides down his seat. “It was the worst experience of my life.”

Neither man seems inclined to elaborate on the mention of larceny. You choose to digress. “Can I ask why?”

“He had to be responsible,” Seungmin whispers. “For other people.”

The top of Hyunjin’s head stops right next to your armrest. You reach over and pat his hair in faux sympathy. “Poor thing.”

“Hardass refused to do it again this year, so now we’re recruiting.” Seungmin props an elbow upon the back of his chair, looks at you contemplatively. “I don’t suppose you have four hours to spare every day.”

Hyunjin scoffs from below you. Loudly. “This one? Team manager?”

“I can see it.”

“I can see killing myself, maybe.”

The next time you reach for him is to hit his forehead. A crisp smack resounds around the barren lecture hall. Hyunjin cusses into his seat cushion.

“Seems like a great candidate to me,” Seungmin muses, and the warm smile he gives you mirrors onto your face before you can think better of it. God, it’s pretty. You wonder how it would feel pressed against your own.

Hyunjin is now completely out of sight and halfway onto the floor. “I miss when you didn’t come to class, Seungmin.”

Eighty minutes later, you’ve just emerged from the classroom when Seungmin calls out to you. You come to such a sudden halt that Hyunjin almost trips over you, but you barely notice him stumble, utterly enraptured by the hand Seungmin brings to the strands of hair by your ear, the fingers that dust your cheek as they pluck a small piece of lint from out of the tresses.

“Sorry.” He flicks it away with a sheepish smile. “I couldn’t unsee it.”

You manage to thank him just before your whole body ceases to function. Hyunjin sidesteps the two of you, yawning.

Seungmin excuses himself not too long after you reach the main quad. You also turn to leave, sparing Hyunjin a curt farewell in the process. He hooks his pointer finger around the handle at the top of your backpack and lugs you backwards with infuriating ease.

“I didn’t like that at all,” you say.

“I don’t care. I have something to tell you.”

“You have a kid, don’t you?”

“Wha—huh? Who do you think I am?”

“The one-night-stand’s poster child. The champion of the contraception industry.”

“Yeah, contraception industry. It’s right there in the name.”

You can’t argue with that. “What do you have to tell me?”

A shadow of hesitation flits across Hyunjin’s face. Your smile falters. Is it possible that you’re about to have a serious conversation with him for the first time? Maybe you should’ve saved the secret son bit for another time.

“I’m failing anthro.”

So much for a serious conversation. 

“Come again?”

He repeats the mystifying statement.

“You’re joking.” The look on his face says otherwise, though, and your eyebrows disappear into your hair. “You’re failing anthro?”

“I just said that, yes.”

“You’re failing anthropology?”

“Mhm.”

“Just so we’re clear—you’re failing Introduction to Cultural Anthropology?”

“Yes. I’m glad you’re having fun.”

This is the best day of your life. “I didn’t even know that was possible.”

“Yeah, well, our professor has no media literacy,” he mutters.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Hyunjin clears his throat. “Anyways, I was thinking—”

“Wow! Congratulations. That’s a big—oomf—”

Hyunjin puts his entire hand over your face. Your mangled noises of protest go unacknowledged.

“I was thinking,” he continues, pushing your head around like a stick shift, “you and I can work out some kind of deal.”

You shove his wrist off you with a revolted groan. “I think I just ate some athletic tape.”

“Happens. You wanna hear the deal or not?”

“Does it involve ingesting more sports equipment?”

“Do you want it to?”

“Just tell me the deal, boy.”

“Alright.” He takes a deep breath. “If you help me pass this class, I’ll set you up with Seungmin.”

Your head performs a triple-axel on your neck. You are unable to respond for what feels like multiple hours. Finally: “I’m gonna need you to elaborate.”

“On which part?”

“All of them. Everything.”

Hyunjin sighs, then scans the courtyard. His gaze settles on the student union a little ways off. “Are you hungry?”

You pick up a sandwich and a smoothie in a state of nervous stupor. One would think it’s the prime minister you’re about to have lunch with and not an imbecilic left-side hitter eating from three different entrees at the same time.

He’s chosen a table a few yards away from a planter of flowering cherry blossom trees. You feel jealous eyes on the side of your face as you take a seat across from Hyunjin, but they don’t know that his telephone pole legs still bump against yours even with them drawn as close to your body as anatomically possible. Or that he’s drawing up a literal Ponzi scheme on your sandwich wrapper. You wager you’ve had better company.

“You like anthropology. I like listening to you talk about anthropology.” He traces over the wrapper’s left corner. “And I kinda want you to boss me around. That weird?”

“Yes, definitely,” you mumble around a mouthful of bread. “Go on.”

“Conclusion one: you should be my tutor.” He taps in place as if applying a finishing touch, then swaps to the opposite side. “You also like my teammate, but he’s neck-deep in volleyball and music this semester, which makes him hard to get a hold of—for most people.”

“Let me guess. Not for you.”

“Ten points to Ravenclaw.” His British accent is nightmarish. “Seung and I live in the same building. We get dinner when we go back from practice together. Conclusion two: you should come with us.”

“To dinner or to practice?”

“To both. Which brings us to my third and final conclusion—”

He slams a fist onto the center of the wrapper.

“—you should manage our team.”

“I knew it!” You slam the table as well, your smoothie wobbling upon impact. “You’re trying to swindle me! You can’t pay for my labor with more labor. What do you take me for?”

“It’s not labor, dumbass! Ask our last manager! He didn’t do shit!”

“Yeah? Who was your last manager?”

“Me!”

Oh, right. “But you hated it!”

“I hate everything that isn’t playing volleyball. Try again.”

You fold your arms over your chest. “You said you’d kill yourself if I managed you.”

Hyunjin starts balling up your sandwich wrapper. “It’s true. I thought about you and my coach getting along and promptly got a rash. But it makes so much sense: you do whatever you want during practice, tutor me afterwards, and then you and Seung can eyefuck over ramen or something. My coach hops off my dick, you hop on Seung’s—”

“STOP!” A girl drops her receipt not too far away, startled by your outburst. “Stop right there. I get it. Stop.”

“It’s a good plan.” He slings the paper ball towards the nearest trash can. It drops into the hole without so much as a brush against the rim. “You know it is.”

You’re loath to admit that you do. “When did you even come up with all this?”

He flicks a thumb in the direction of your anthropology class. No fucking wonder he’s failing.

“What is this, mock trial?”

The owner of this voice is the third man you’ve seen today donning that navy windbreaker, white long-sleeve combo. He has a face that reminds you of your neighbor’s cat from back home, sleek and sharp and only slightly sinister. There’s a dash of humor in his expression as he approaches your table like he’s enjoying the company of a court jester.

“Slamming tables like fuckin’ tariff lawyers,” the cat-man hums, lifting a hand in Hyunjin’s direction. “I could see it from all the way inside.”

“Captain!” Hyunjin crows, dabbing him up without missing a beat. They really do that like breathing. “Just the man I was hoping to see.”

“Really? I thought you’d be avoiding me like the rest of our homunculus team.”

“I would never.”

“You did. Yesterday. When you saw me and started running in the opposite direction.” He pauses for emphasis. “As fast as possible.”

“Well, that was yesterday. Today is a new day.” Hyunjin tosses you a proud glance. “And today, I bring you a new team manager.”

You stiffen. “I haven’t—”

“Is that so!” When the stranger smiles at you, you feel the same satisfaction you did every time the cat let you scratch her on the chin. “Music to my ears. What’s your name, cutie?”

You catch Hyunjin’s eye across the table; he nods enthusiastically as if saying go on, then. You briefly picture yourself strangling him with his own athletic tape. You then picture yourself hopping on Seungmin’s—

Rigidly, you throw a hand out to the cat-man, your face aflame.

“Y/N,” you grumble. “I’m looking forward to working with you.”

He shakes on it heartily. “Likewise. I’m Minho. Welcome to the team.”

“Yes, welcome to the team,” Hyunjin parrots, looking positively jolly. You gnash your teeth together so hard your jaw throbs.

He’s lucky that his proposal holds so much water. He’s lucky that you don’t plan to strangle him until after you try that eyefucking thing.

You do kick him under the table, though.

The team has five weeks to prepare for the Korean University League, the biggest college-level volleyball tournament in the country. You have five days to learn how the hell athletic tape works. You can’t tell which is the bigger endeavor.

“I’m going to cause him irreversible skeletal damage,” you tell Changbin.

The team’s libero is twice as kind as he is talented, a full-time sweetheart working part-time at the university’s sports medicine clinic. Only your first week on the job and you’ve already decided he’s the only person on Earth you would permit to usher you through the gym at 6:45 A.M., a roll of athletic tape pressed to your back like a pistol.

“You will not,” Changbin answers. “One, because this won’t involve his skeleton, and two, because I wouldn’t ask you to help if it did.”

“You’ve misunderstood me,” you return as the two of you stop in front of an examination room. “I want to cause him irreversible skeletal damage.”

“Oh.” He opens the door with a frown. “Oh dear.”

Inside, Hyunjin is sitting cross-legged on top of a taping table, fitted in a loose gray tee and athletic shorts. He watches in pessimistic silence as you enter the room and beeline straight towards the shelf on the right. You slip a thick binder into your hands and bury your nose inside it without so much as a greeting.

“I am going to get maimed,” Hyunjin tells Changbin.

“Have some faith, both of you,” Changbin replies sternly. You find the pages you’re looking for and begin poring over them like you’re cramming for an exam. “You’ll be fine, Jinnie. Y/N studied.”

“Studied?” He repeats. “For this?”

“I’m pretty sure Quizlets were made.”

“Three, to be exact," you interject, sticking out your hand. “Now tape me.”

Hyunjin mouths the words tape me in baffled silence. The latter obliges your request with a smile. “See? What could go wrong?”

The answer to that, actually, is a lot. Especially after Changbin gets called away to help stretch out a teammate named Felix who allegedly “sprained his ass,” leaving Hyunjin to you and your binder.

You detect no smoky rose in the air around him today, just the subtle smells of cedar and cypress—laundry detergent or shampoo, maybe. Figures he doesn’t wear that insufferable cologne to practice.

“Go easy on me, yeah?”

While Hyunjin’s tone is teasing, yours is downright somber.

“I can’t promise anything.”

With that, you turn your palms face-up in a silent request for his hand.

A few strands of hair fall into your face as you lean in for a better look. It’s the first time you’ve seen his fingers untaped; they’re pretty, long and slender and surprisingly manicured, but also battered in their delicacy, the veins running over the back of his hand and forearm prominent, his bottom knuckles discolored from the healing bruises they bear. His hard work is palpable upon the smooth skin as evidently as if tattooed.

Hyunjin says your name in close proximity. You respond with an absent hum.

“You’re not nervous, are you?”

“No. Maybe a little.” You let his hand fall free and go to rummage for supplies. “Fine, yes. Very.”

“But you made Quizlets. You’re prepared for anything.”

“That’s what I’m saying!” You realize only after spotting the gentle smile on his face that he’s making fun of you. “I hate you.”

“Actually,” he hums, “I think you care about me, love. That’s why you’re nervous.”

“Nonsense—I care about disappointing Changbin. That’s it.”

“And me. And hopping on Seungmin’s dick. All these things don’t have to be mutually exclusive.”

You try to tackle him. Hyunjin catches your hands a few inches away from his face, fingers closing around your wrists with obnoxious agility.

“Have you lost your mind?” You whisper-shout, your face on fire. “Don’t bring that up here. I’ll maim you for real.”

The laugh that explodes out of him throws his entire body backwards, turns his eyes to crescent moons and his mouth into a little rectangle. You hate that you don’t hate when that happens.

“My bad, my bad. It slipped out. I won’t—”

One incremental shift of Hyunjin’s body later, you find that you’re precariously, alarmingly close to one another.

So much so that you notice the mole beneath his left eye for the first time, that you're nearly cross-eyed looking at it. That the tip of your nose actually brushes against his before you pull away with a quiet intake of breath. 

Things are awkward between you often, you’ve realized recently. You’re both professional yappers, always quick to digress, quick to find a new topic to bicker about before the awkwardness marinates. But hours later you’ll look back on the interaction and still remember how the air shifted: like a layer of dust had been blown away and something untouched and unknown was discovered just underneath.

Since you’ve met him, Hyunjin has spent more time on your nerves than on your mind. You’re not exactly losing sleep over such a circumstantial acquaintance; you know that his presence in your life will end the way it began, naturally and anticlimactically and inside the ANTH 111 lecture hall. Still, it doesn’t go unnoticed when your heart and stomach launch into an elaborate gymnastics routine in the wake of something he says or does, just as they’re doing now.

Hyunjin glances into your right eye a moment, then your left. The mole just below his left eye disappears when he smiles, the expression soft, saccharine, and sincere. How anyone casually looks the way he does is beyond your abilities of comprehension.

“Thank you,” he murmurs.

Your face continues to burn, now perhaps for different reasons. “What for?”

He lets go of your wrist, sweeps the lock of hair that keeps getting in your eyes behind the cuff of your ear.

“Caring about me.”

Then he flicks your forehead. You recoil with a quiet ow.

“Now stop stalling and tape me, dumbass.”

“Okay,” you mutter, rubbing the injury tenderly. “No need to get violent.”

It turns out the arduous taping procedure described in the instruction manual is for serious hand injuries. Hyunjin splints his fingers together for support, not rehabilitation, so it takes all of five minutes for him to talk you through his process. You finish taping both of his hands with nineteen minutes to spare. So maybe the Quizlets were overkill.

As you’re walking him down to practice, you take his hand and lift it to eye level, scanning your craftsmanship dubiously. “It’s not too tight, is it?”

“It’s perfect.” He swivels the hand around and grabs onto your entire face, the sensation by now eerily familiar. “Want another taste?”

You shove him down the stairs that remain. Unfortunately, there are only two. “You are truly grotesque.”

The gym has come to life since you arrived earlier this morning, now illuminated by shining ceiling lights in addition to the sun spilling through high, narrow windows. Most of the team has yet to step onto the court, still stretching or jogging along the sidelines: Minho and Coach Bang are talking strategy on the bench, the coach taking notes on a handheld whiteboard every now and then; Changbin is leaning over a recumbent Felix below the scoreboard, presumably trying to fix his ass.

The only one already with a ball in hand is Seungmin, setting to himself by the net. Once, twice, thrice straight up in the air, and then he glances in your direction and sends the fourth towards the left side of the court in a buoyant arc.

You only glean bits and pieces of the next few seconds. Hyunjin is at your side one moment, making a break for the net the next. His arms draw backwards in perfect synchrony. Feet hit the floor with laserlike intent. His entire body unravels like a fraying chrysalis as he rises to meet the ball, pounds it over the net and into the ground at an angle so clean that the sound of its landing resounds within your ribcage. It rebounds over the railing of the second floor and barely misses the doorway of the examination room you just emerged from.

Hyunjin drops lightly back onto his feet, following the ball’s tumultuous trajectory with proud eyes. A leftover breeze tosses a strand of hair over the bridge of your nose, and time starts moving again.

“Oi, this isn’t your backyard! Go pick that up!” Their coach booms, though his words lack their usual bitterness after what he just witnessed his ace hitter do.

Hyunjin swivels towards Seungmin first. “Crazy bitch. What the fuck was that?”

“Lower and faster. Further from the net too,” Seungmin returns. “How’d it feel?”

The grin on Hyunjin’s face reminds you of a wildfire, untamed and all-consuming and frightening in its fervor. “Like we just won everything.”

He tousles your hair as he jogs past you and back up the stairs to fetch the volleyball. Seungmin waves at you with one hand and palms another ball into his other. His face is warm and bare, his slim build flattered by his volleyball gear. You’ve witnessed few people so nice to look at and even fewer things as elegant as his setting form. But you are still thinking about Hyunjin—and you can’t move.

It is debilitating, watching somebody do the very thing they were destined for.

A little less than a week later, Hyunjin is approaching hour three of spewing hot garbage into a Word document when he decides to give up and call you. 

“Hello?” He immediately starts laughing. “Where the fuck are you?”

You poke the top of your head into the shot of your ceiling, gesturing to your headband. “My face is preoccupied at the moment.”

“Oh, you have to show me. Please.”

You flip your phone up for no more than half a second. A camera shutter goes off, followed by a shriek so loud that it peaks your mic.

“Motherfucker!”

He basically sprints to his camera roll. His prize: you with your face slathered in cleanser, hair pinned back by a Miffy headband, looking like the abominable snowman if he liked cute merchandise.

“Thank you,” he says earnestly. “I’ll treasure this forever.”

“You’ll be punished, Hwang.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

You brandish your middle finger at him in response. He props his phone up against his computer screen with a chuckle. 

“Aaanyways, I have a thesis statement to run by you.”

The first thing you did as Hyunjin’s tutor was help draft an email to Professor Kim, begging her to let him resubmit the two essays he royally botched. She replied with a lengthy quotation from her syllabus, specifically the section that talked about (and prohibited) resubmissions, but ended up making an exception for Hyunjin on account of the “truly piteous timbre” of his email. You fell out of your chair laughing when he read you her response.

“You should’ve opened with that.”

“I tried, hello? Someone distracted me!”

“Read. It. Before I change my mind.”

You spend a few minutes at most on the thesis itself, advising him to avoid passive voice, answer the prompt, establish a refutable argument, the works. Then he asks you a question about the research topic itself, allusions to the afterlife in Ancient Egyptian artwork, and the tutoring session takes a turn into what feels like a podcast episode.

You talk about the God of Death, Anubis, and his connections to the underworld; the elaborate, lavish funerary rituals intended to ensure the souls of the dead traveled safely; the vibrant murals that flanked their final resting spots as pictorial requests for divine protection. And you talk about them all with such confidence, such eloquence, that it’s as if you’re leading him through a history museum rather than talking to your phone as you do your skincare. He could listen to you for hours. He does, actually.

Around 1 A.M., Hyunjin stops typing mid-sentence when you come into frame for the first time, collapsing into your bed with a sigh of relief. Your eyes are soft and sleepy as they blink at your screen, strands of damp hair clinging to your cheeks. He feels his heart physically shift inside his ribcage when your mouth stretches into a yawn. It is the same sensation as the time you shot him a smile over your shoulder and he couldn’t move for ten minutes.

With that, his attention span has run its course.

“Baby,” he interrupts gently. “Let’s stop here, okay? You seem tired.”

You open your mouth as if to protest, only to yawn again.

“I suppose I am. Will you keep working tonight?”

“I think so. I hit my stride.”

“Text me if you have questions, then. I’ll respond when I wake up.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Your lips curve into the smallest of smiles. It copies onto Hyunjin’s face incurably quickly. 

“I had my doubts about this tutoring thing, you know.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, you told me this class was the closest thing to daily naptime you’d experienced since preschool.”

“It really is.”

“You also told me you would rather slam your tongue in a car door than read more than three sentences in one sitting.”

“I really would.”

“And you once referred to academia as ‘Virgin Village.’”

“Didn’t you come up with that?”

“No, hello? I live in that village.”

He grins. “I know. I just wanted to hear you admit it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Ah, don’t threaten me with a good—”

“What I’m trying to say is that I didn’t think you would take this seriously, but I’m happy to be proven wrong.”

Hyunjin leans back. “Well, turns out I might give a fuck about anthropology after all.”

“Really?”

“No.”

You pretend to punch him through the screen. It’s so cute that he forgets to think before he opens his mouth next.

“But I do give a fuck about you.”

There’s nothing crazy about the statement. You’re friends, sort of. You manage his team. It would be strange if he didn’t. But the seconds that follow are terrible, a silent prophecy of something disastrous, like a cloud of rubble before an avalanche, the standstill during a star’s final breath. And Hyunjin’s heartbeat is hounding against his ears like a performance of traditional taiko.

He says good night in a haste. The call ends. He stares at the wall of his bedroom in a muddled haze for who knows how long.

Then he opens his texts.

Hyunjin: We have team bonding tomorrow btw Hyunjin: Don’t forget Y/N: i forgot. Y/N: pick me up at 6:45? Hyunjin: 🫡

He picks you up at 7:53.

You approach his car with your fists balled and your eyebrows knitted together like a mean old curmudgeon and he’s walking too close to your lawn.

“His fault,” Hyunjin says before you start yelling.

Minho simpers at you through his open window. “Hey, you! So glad you could join us!”

You fix the man with a judgmental glare as you slide into the backseat. “Aren’t you the captain? Why are you this late?”

“Whoa, okay. I would’ve scheduled this for earlier if I knew right now was honesty hour.”

“You did schedule it for earlier,” you say. “You scheduled it for way earlier.”

“Yeah, well, you’re fired.”

“You can’t fire me, Minho.”

“I can too. Tell ‘em, Hwang.”

“I want nothing to do with this.”

When you step through the doors of the arcade, you’re met with a surge of sensory input that you haven’t experienced in years. The air hangs thick with the smells of greasy concessions; everywhere you look are flashing screens and neon signs, stuffed animals and fading posters; clamoring against your ears are the sounds of games being won or lost, of balls being pocketed or launched, and of a horde of fully grown men spectating a match of Dance Dance Revolution so passionately (and loudly) that they’ve scared everyone away from that side of the room. You recognize the current competitors as Changbin and Jeongin.

“I’ll go pay,” Hyunjin says. “How much time do we want?”

“Infinity,” Minho answers. Hyunjin doesn’t move. “Two hours.”

He flashes him a thumbs-up. “And you?”

“I’m okay, I think.”

“No you’re not,” the two men answer in perfect unison.

You glance between them warily. “I don’t mind watching, seriously. I don’t even know how most of these games work—”

“There’s Tetris,” Hyunjin cuts in.

You purchase an hour.

One would imagine the point of the evening is to break the SNU men’s volleyball team, not to bond them. You’ve never seen so many strained blood vessels in your life. Nor have you heard of half the insults they spew at each other as the night goes on. Felix has to pay a fee for lodging an air hockey puck in the side of the MarioKart machine. Changbin loses at skee-ball and has to down an XL slushie like it’s a shot. It’s a scary amount of boyishness expressed in scary ways.

But they’re happy. You’ve picked up on it when they’re on the court, noticed the raw elation they emanate just from playing together. Yet, their closeness has never been more evident to you than tonight. The men are either laughing or making someone else laugh, arms draped over each other at all times, equally happy to celebrate victories as they’re eager to punish losses. It dawns on you at some point that you’re glad to be here with them, grateful to be a part of something so special—especially because there’s Tetris.

“Have you ever considered going pro?” Hyunjin asks over your shoulder.

You waited until most of the team was distracted to slink off to your beloved machine. Hyunjin tagged along, undoubtedly with the intention of making fun of you, only to be rendered speechless by your mastery. He’s been watching in a state of stupor, forearms propped against the back of your chair.

You don’t respond for a while, too focused on a precarious patch to even blink, let alone partake in conversation.

“I already did,” you finally answer.

“Sorry, what? You played professional Tetris?”

“In middle school. Then I got bored and switched to backgammon.” You pause. “Then I got bored again and switched to chess.”

“How do you look like this with these hobbies?”

Your run ends a few minutes later with a somber sound effect. You turn around in your seat with an anguished groan. “I think I’m washed.”

He looks at you like you’ve lost your mind. “You just set a new record by three hundred thousand points.”

“It’s a small pond,” you say, and an idea occurs to you. “Do you wanna try?”

“I get the feeling I don’t have a choice.”

“Then you’re smarter than you look.”

“Well, you look—”

His eyes move between your shoes and your face, and then his voice is an inaudible mutter as he sinks into your seat. You think you hear something along the lines of unfair.

“What was that?”

“Ugly. I said you look ugly.” He cracks his knuckles. “Now let’s break some fuckin' blocks.” 

When Hyunjin learns that the pieces can be rotated (so six or seven attempts later), a man walks into the arcade. 

He has hair the color of dark chocolate, the face of a fairy prince—and he’s with someone. The two of them appear arm in arm, laughing at something he said. He looks at this person the way astronomers do to the sky.

Something shatters inside you like old porcelain.

Your hands loosen around the back of Hyunjin’s chair. You can’t watch. You can’t think. You can only feel a void of disappointment rip open, stretch over you like an elongating shadow.

“Seung!” That’s Jisung, you think. “You made it!”

“Yo, sorry we’re late.” That’s Seungmin. That is undoubtedly Seungmin. “Dinner took longer than I thought.”

“Min, are you sure I’m allowed to be here?” You don’t know who this voice belongs to and you’re not sure you want to. “I feel like I’m intruding—”

“Hwang,” you say suddenly. “I have to go.”

He turns around, confused. An unattended block falls into a terrible spot on the screen behind him. ”Already?”

“I forgot I had an important call to make.” You turn away, training your eyes on the patterned carpet. “Sorry. I’ll see you around.”

You have touched Hyunjin’s hands many times. He’s asked you to tape his fingers every day since the first; he likes the way you cut off his circulation, says it helps him hit harder. But you never hold his hand so much as you examine it, the act stiff and unfeeling, cordoned within the professional pretense of athletic treatment. 

Now, Hyunjin catches your hand like a gardener repotting their favorite flower: delicately, careful of leaving its roots intact and petals untouched, but firmly, securely, so the flower continues to stand tall even when it’s been extracted from the soil, not even a speck of dirt slipping through the cracks between their fingers. That is the image you conjure when he slips his between yours, his metal rings cold where his fingertips are warm.

He says your name. There is a pinch of pain in the word, and you know that he knows.

“Do you want to be alone?”

You have never been asked such a thing—you have never asked to be asked such a thing—but, for some reason, the question brings tears to your eyes. 

“Yes, please,” you whisper, and you pull your hand away.

When you stalk past him, you hear Jisung notice you, call out to you, a note of worry in his question. You also count three pairs of eyes on your back: one concerned, the next confused, and the last you are wholly incapable of meeting. 

Unknown to you is the fourth pair fixed upon the top of the Tetris machine, where you’ve left your phone.

You emerge into the parking lot. The frigid air stills your mind for a fraction of a second, the last moment of mental quietude you will allow yourself that night.

Hyunjin’s right; the team manager doesn’t have to do much.

Coach Bang allows you to come to whichever practices and games you feel like, during which you might at most lug around a ballbag or fill someone’s waterbottle before holing up somewhere to do your own thing. But you like the people you work for too much to do so little for them, so you attend everything  your schedule allows. 

Last week, you could be found helping Minho put up the volleyball nets before practice, your laughter echoing throughout the spacious gym as he complained to you about his biochemistry professor’s distinct “cabbage scent.” Or running to grab materials for Changbin as he treated his teammates’ injuries like you were assisting an orthodontist giving someone a root canal. The dinner invitations you extended to Seungmin were always turned down, but his teammates were more than happy to assist you and Hyunjin in your quest to establish the best kimbap joint in the area once and for all. You even had a heart-to-heart with Coach Bang during one of the team’s water breaks, in which you managed to get half a smile out of the guy; Hyunjin was convinced that was his way of asking you to elope. You spent more time in the gymnasium those ten days than you had your entire college career.

Then came the arcade.

Five days have come and gone. You haven’t attended practice since, but you still see Hyunjin every morning at anthropology. The two of you sit in uncharacteristic silence for most of the lectures. You’ve taken the best notes of your life. He doesn’t mention the previous weekend; he doesn’t mention much of anything. 

In person, that is.

That Friday afternoon, you’re reading on the terrace of the library when you receive a text. It’s from Hyunjin, a two-minute voice note. You hesitate for a moment, stick a pencil into the gutter of your textbook to save your place, and slip your earbuds in. You listen to it.

Then you listen to it again.

And again as you wrap up your study session and go home. Again as you cook yourself dinner and load the dishwasher. Again as you shrug on a jacket and pocket your keys, setting off on the familiar trek to the gym.

As for what you plan to do there on a Friday night, long after the team has finished practice, you haven’t the slightest clue. You continue to move regardless, fueled by the feeling that there is where you need to be.

Coach Bang is leaving the building just as you’re approaching it. He halts in his footsteps and raises his eyebrows when he notices you. The man has always been difficult to read, but his face is exceptionally opaque now. Maybe it’s the shadowy landscape; more likely it’s the uneasiness that began to mount within you once you noticed the lights in the gym were still on.

“It’s been a while,” he greets.

“Coach,” you return, lowering your head. “I want to apologize for—”

“Save it,” he says, not unkindly. “There’s nothing to apologize for, alright? The team is lucky to have you.”

You manage a grateful smile. “I’ll be back starting next week.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” He starts to walk away, stops himself, and glances into the illuminated building. “I would give him some space, by the way.”

Your uneasiness morphs into anxiety as you watch his broad back retreat into the shadows. You remain outside the gym for a few minutes more, accompanied by the distant melodies of cricket chorales and the muffled squeaking of shoes against laminated hardwood, the harsh sounds of flesh meeting leather.

Briskly, you walk home, rummage around, and return to the gym ten minutes later with your textbook tucked beneath your arm. This time, you unlock and enter the building without a moment of hesitation. 

Hyunjin is positioned multiple yards behind the service line, rotating a volleyball in his hands. A high toss, two resounding steps, and a collision like the crack of a whip. The previous ball has barely landed in the furthest corner of the court when he’s picking up the next, retreating to the same spot to do it all again. His tank top is the color of charcoal over his sweaty skin, his hair auburn where it’s plastered to his neck. He’s alone.

You only catch sight of Hyunjin’s face when you descend the stairs. His expression is crystalline, hardened with concentration and fortified by courage, but fragile all at once, rendered delicate by fatigue and fear, spilling from his every seam and splintering off his person like a broken vase. You recognize it as clearly as if you were looking at a picture of yourself from the worst years of your life.

“I was told to give you space,” you call out, and Hyunjin drops the volleyball he’s holding.

His lips fall apart. Nothing comes out of them. The only sounds to follow are your footsteps as you make your way towards the bleachers, a vertical wall of plastic now that they’ve been retracted for the night. You fold your legs into a criss-cross as you take a seat at their base.

“Is this enough space?”

More silence. You gesture to the volleyball nervously.

“Don’t make me go further, please. I’m not ready to die.”

Finally, this earns you a smile. It’s not much, but it loosens the nervous coils in your heart, permits your lungs to contract once more, and it remains on his face as he swipes the ball back into his hands. You open your textbook.

The rest of the night elapses in turning pages and soaring volleyballs. You don’t care for minutes or hours; you give him all the time in the world, as he did you.

The only time you glance at the clock on the wall is around midnight, when Hyunjin hobbles to the middle of the court and collapses. You’re worried at first. Then he rolls onto his back and releases a guttural groan into his hands, and your held breath comes out a laugh. You set down your book and stand up.

There’s a lake of perspiration forming around him. You pay it no mind and flop onto the floor, your eyes instantly narrowing beneath the fluorescent lights. 

“How do you see under these things?”

“I don’t,” he returns. “I complained about it to Coach once.”

“And?”

“He made them brighter.” Sounds about right.

Hyunjin spends the next few minutes catching his breath, his chest rising and falling in your peripheral vision. You sift through your mind for phrases of consolation or gestures of support and come up empty. You wish you had Hyunjin’s way with words.

But you think about the way his smile reached his eyes as he thanked you for caring about him, the tenderness with which he caught your hand at the arcade, the I give a fuck about you he blurted before ending the study call. You think about the voice note. It’s not that Hyunjin has a way with words; it’s that he’s brave enough to break the silences that you can’t, like he perceives your anxiety for the aftermath, shouldering the responsibility so you won’t have to.

This cannot be his burden alone.

You inhale. “What’s on your mind?”

Hyunjin doesn’t answer right away. You give up on squinting and close your eyes. The lights are still bright enough to dance around the murky darkness.

“I don’t think I know how to put it into words.”

You nearly laugh; you know how that feels. “Don’t think, just talk. I’m here.”

The same advice you gave yourself seems to work on him as well.

“Do you remember Ishikawa Yuki?”

His role model.

“He’s currently playing for a club team in Italy called Allianz Milano.” He blows out a deep breath. “I’ve been talking to their coach, Roberto Piazza, for the last six months.”

The gears in your head creak in their effort to process the implications of these words. “Holy shit, Hwang.”

“He emailed again, this morning. Said he was coming to the tournament later this month, he’s excited to see me play in person, whatever. And it hit me, finally, that this is all real. Like, this is actually happening to me. I spent all of today freaking out and asked Coach to let me stay back after practice. Usually, it wears out my brain if I tire my body, but it only half-worked today. I couldn’t wrap my head around anything. I still can’t.

“I am who I am because of that man, and now…I have a shot at playing with him. I keep asking myself why I’m not—not happier. I should be bouncing off the fucking walls, no? If I told my past self that this would be happening to him one day, he—he would—”

You open your eyes, confused by the sudden silence.

Hyunjin is sitting up next to you, staring intensely into the bleachers. You first notice the tip of his tongue prodding into his cheek, then his shuddering breath. He lifts a hand to his face, pressing against his eyes.

You stop thinking after that.

You sit up with him. When you settle your fingers around his wrist, he allows you to pull his hand back to his side. But he turns away as if trying to hide from you; he squeezes his eyes shut as if that would obstruct your view of his pain.

You reach to cradle his face, bringing him back to you. The cuff of your sleeves wipe at the saltwater on his cheeks, push the hair off his forehead with gentle sweeps. The two of you are close, close enough that your lips would meet the space between his eyes if you so much as lost your balance. His gaze traverses to your face, but you resolve not to meet it. You know you will traipse into uncharted territory the moment you do.

“Don’t fight it.” You trace over the hill of his cheek. “Healing becomes easier if you let yourself hurt. Trust me, Hyunjin.”

His first name should feel foreign on your tongue, yet you suspect the syllables have accompanied you all your life.

“You don’t have to continue if you can’t.”

“S’okay.” Hyunjin lifts your hand away from his face, presses a kiss to the base of your palm. “I want to.”

You feel yourself stumble ungracefully into the uncharted territory from before; does he do the same?

“I used to play volleyball on this expanse of cracked blacktop, behind my primary school. It was pretty brutal on my feet—I blew through so many different pairs of sneakers my mom almost made me quit.” He smiles at the memory. “But every time I came close to quitting, I’d go home and rewatch the same USA vs. Poland match from the 2008 Summer Olympics I asked my dad to record, and I’d promise myself it would be me on some other kid’s screen someday.

“That kid would tell everyone who’d listen about how cool I am. That I’m a secret superhero. That I’m living proof humans can fly if they really, really try—just like I talked about the volleyball players I grew up watching on my TV.

“The other day, Coach told me that hope would consume me. I thought it was just some senile drivel at the time, but..I think I get what he means now. I would do anything and everything to make that kid proud—even if it meant losing myself.” He lowers his head, auburn strands falling into his eyes. “That’s what’s on my mind.”

Amidst the ensuing pause, a storm approaches. It does not come in the form of rain or snow, sleet or hail, no; it is a gathering of words unsaid and emotions unacknowledged, all emerging from the deepest chambers of your heart in synchrony. The same entities you used to scapegoat for all the times things were awkward between you and Hyunjin when you were the culprit all along. You and your blind cowardice.

The storm tears open the seam of your lips. You do not resist; it’s long overdue.

“Every time Changbin sees you, he turns into a smitten schoolgirl,” you say. “He is physically unable to contain how endearing he finds you. He told me so himself.”

Hyunjin looks at you with widened eyes. You think you can see your own reflection in them, and you are the spitting image of a lighter dropped into gasoline, unstoppable in your vehemence.

“Jeongin comes to you for advice before anyone else,” you continue, “even for things related to school—which I still find hard to believe, I’m not gonna lie. But you have his best interests in mind, and it shows in everything you do for him. Of course your opinion matters more than anything in the world.

“I know you think he can’t stand you, but you are the reason Coach Bang loves this job, why he loves this sport. It’s written all over his face every time he calls you something mean, every time he makes you run another lap, every time he looks at you. You’re like a son to him. Everyone sees it but you.”

“Then there’s me.” You pause to catch your breath. “When I think about what my life used to be, I remember a lot of things. I remember loneliness. Insecurity. I remember my books and my backgammon boards and the way I taught myself to disappear inside them so the world would never find me. I remember avoiding mirrors like a vampire because I didn’t like seeing my own reflection. I remember feeling like I had to put on someone else’s personality every time I left the house because nobody would want to know me for me. All I ever wanted was a place where I could be myself, love myself, without consequence. I have yet to find that place.

“But I found a person. Someone who wouldn’t know time and place if they kicked his dick into his body. Someone who thinks instant ramen is high in nutritional value because it comes with dried vegetables. Someone who sweats the same amount of rain the Sahara Desert receives yearly—your body is not normal, by the way.”

Hyunjin giggles; it is soft and short, a small, tearful huff into the quiet air that makes you feel like you’re flying.

“Don’t get me wrong,” you say. “Your sense of humor sucks and your taste in coffee is so boring and you are the one with no media literacy, not Professor Kim. But I love spending time with you. I love who I am when I’m around you. And none of that has to do with volleyball.”

The next time you blink, you discover that he’s not the only one with tears in his eyes. How long has that been going on?

“There’s so much about you to be proud of, Hyunjin.” You give him a watery smile. “That kid will be spoiled for choice.”

When Hyunjin pulls you into his arms, you fall into each other like going to bed after a long day. Your face burrows into the crook of his neck in your embarrassment; he is laughing and crying at the same time when he mumbles something into your shoulder: “I knew you cared about me.”

You are so happy for the comedic relief you could sob. It helps that you already are.

“How the fuck are you still sweaty?” You choke out, and you think you like his cologne after all.

Six days later, Hyunjin opens the door of his apartment.

A fun-sized flurry of black and white barrages into the hallway outside and almost runs headfirst into the figure waiting there. You fall to your knees like you’ve just been gravely wounded, emitting an ear-piercing wail to match. All it takes is a few good head scratches for Kkami to stop yipping bloody murder and start whining for attention instead. 

Upon minute five of watching you and his dog cuddle in the hallway directly outside his home, Hyunjin sighs.

“Can you come inside, please? My RA will think I’m doing some freaky shit again.”

You side-eye him as you walk into his apartment, Kkami perched happily in your arms. “What, exactly, does freaky shit entail?”

He smirks as the door falls shut. “You want me to tell you or show you?”

You turn to Kkami, disgusted. “Your owner’s a bit of a pervert, my dear.”

Kkami licks you on the chin. Hyunjin’s eyes narrow to slits.

“Traitor.”

Naturally, Hyunjin’s parents chose the eve of his final anthropology exam—and the week before the tournament that will determine the trajectory of his career—to ask him to look after Kkami for a few days. He nearly canceled their plane tickets himself, but his impromptu roommate is currently ransacking your face with kisses on his couch, and he thinks your laugh complements his studio better than any decoration. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” He calls from the kitchen area.

You meander over, Kkami (still) perched happily in your arms. “What do you have?” 

“Alcohol.” He opens his fridge far enough so you can peer over his shoulder. “Americanos.”

He stops speaking.

“Is that all?”

“Yes. Wait—and apple juice.”

“You are about to be a professional athlete.”

“What the Italians don’t know won’t hurt them. You want apple juice, don’t you? I can see it in your eyes.”

“Maybe. Can you open it for me? My hands are full.”

Hyunjin does so with far less reluctance than he feigns. You thank him jubilantly, popping the straw into your mouth.

“Let’s get this over with.”

At 10:32 P.M., all is calm. You are sitting on the floor, your back against the side of his mattress. Hyunjin is where the universe intended: curled up in bed, both him and his laptop lying on their sides. You have studied eight out of ten units in only two and a half hours, and the night is still young. Kkami is but a fluffy, sleepy Oreo by your waist.

At 10:33 P.M., the Oreo begins to retch.

You startle a foot into the air. Hyunjin is out of bed and on his feet in the blink of an eye, the very image of a dog dad on duty. He grabs three different things off the kitchen counter with one hand and scoops up the long-haired chihuahua with the other, and then he’s kicking open the door.

Seungmin appears out of thin air carrying two heaping bags of groceries. Hyunjin nearly knocks him and a month’s worth of fresh produce down four flights of stairs.

“Hyun—Kkami?” Seungmin swivels. “Yo, what the fuck is—”

Hyunjin is already out the door.

A few minutes later, Hyunjin squats off to the side, pouring fresh water into a portable dog bowl. A little ways away, Kkami is throwing up ebulliently; a set of footsteps approaches.

“What is this thing?” Seungmin squats down next to Hyunjin, picking up the piece of patterned fabric lying on the grass. 

“Kkami gets sad after throwing up,” he sighs. “His blanket makes him feel better.”

Seungmin watches the chihuahua for a few moments, a soft flinch crimping his features. “He ate too fast again?”

Hyunjin rakes a hand through his hair. “I don’t get it. Nobody’s gonna take his food from him.”

Seungmin laughs. “I didn’t even know he was on campus.”

“I picked him up last night. My parents are traveling for work—they say hi, by the way.”

“I say hi back. I miss your mom’s cooking.”

“Me too,” Hyunjin says, smiling. “She would love to cook for you again—she’s always saying you’re too skinny.”

“She really is.”

A beat passes; it is then that Hyunjin has an epiphany.

Seungmin was the one who put a volleyball in his hands for the first time. Back then, Hyunjin was the lesser troublemaker between the two of them—a concept that neither of them can wrap their heads around to this day. Seungmin suggested they use the clotheslines in Hyunjin’s backyard as a makeshift net, despite Hyunjin’s dissuading; half of Hyunjin’s father’s wardrobe caught on fire, Seungmin had a black eye for a week, and nobody knows what happened to that volleyball. The two of them have been attached at the hip ever since.

It is a crazy thing, having your best friend as a teammate; a singular flick of the wrist or a point of his shoe and Seungmin will know exactly Hyunjin wants the ball down to the net’s fraying fibers; Hyunjin will be exactly where Seungmin needs him down to the flecks of paint on the volleyball court. Hyunjin has always been Seungmin’s hitter—Seungmin, always Hyunjin’s setter. Nothing will ever change between them so long as that remains the case.

At least, that’s what Hyunjin used to think.

Learning that Seungmin was in a relationship was as much a wake-up call for Hyunjin as it was for you. At first, he was just fucking pissed; how could Seungmin be so stupid as to turn down someone like you, especially when Hyunjin had shot his mouth off about his wingman services? More importantly, how long had his best friend of eighteen years been in love, and why was he the last to know? 

Only now, as they wait for his nine-year-old chihuahua to finish barfing, does Hyunjin realize that he can’t remember the last time he and Seungmin talked. Not “talked” as in a brief exchange inside the locker room or the lecture hall, about a new approach he wants to try or what Seungmin got on number four or if he wants a ride to practice—“talked” as in talked, about Hyunjin, about Seungmin, about the eighteen years they shared, about all the years yet to come.

Hyunjin sees his setter every day; he stopped looking for his friend a long time ago. 

“Yeonwoo, right?”

He senses surprise in Seungmin without having to look at him. But he also senses a smile, a subtle show that Seungmin recognizes what he’s trying to do—and forgives him.

“Yeonwoo,” Seungmin affirms. “We’re in the same songwriting intensive this semester.”

“Also a singer?”

He shakes his head. “Piano player. Performed at the Carnegie Hall in the United States at, like, seven years old. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so talented.”

“Wow, that’s—hi, old man. You done?”

Kkami walks over with his head hung low and tail between his legs, and Hyunjin hurries to drape the pup in his favorite blanket, pulling the bowl of water in front of him in tandem. Seungmin runs a hand over the top of Kkami’s head as he hydrates.

“You’ve suffered,” he tells him solemnly, and Hyunjin snorts.

“As I was saying—that’s crazy to hear, coming from the most talented person I know. You guys looked so good together.”

“Thanks. It’s weird. I’m happy.”

“You deserve it. You really do, Kim.” They exchange smiles, and Hyunjin gives Seungmin a playful nudge. “When are you introducing us?”

“The arcade wasn’t enough?”

“Don’t insult me.”

“Whenever you want, then.”

“Dinner with my mom, dinner with Yeonwoo,” Hyunjin recounts. “I’m holding you to it.”

“Bet.”

They shake on it. If Hyunjin wasn’t already reassured by Seungmin’s smile, he knows by his clasp around his hand that they’ll be okay.

“What about you?” Seungmin asks. “Are you together yet?”

Hyunjin knew this was coming. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Seungmin strings his hands together, letting them dangle in the space between his knees. “Someone you have questions for that you’re too scared to ask. Someone who’s lived in your mind since the day you met. There’s someone like that, isn’t there?”

Hyunjin pokes his tongue into his cheek. 

Ever since that night on the gym floor, Hyunjin’s been having these dreams. By the time his alarm goes off in the morning, every detail of the dream has eluded him, leaving behind only a ghost of emotion, akin to the breeze that grazes your face moments after walking past another person.

But then he’ll get out of bed, and walk to that café on the east side of campus, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. There, he’ll order a vanilla latte with extra sweetener, then turn around to see you standing five feet away, holding an Americano and trying not to laugh. And he’ll just know, with everything in him, that you are where his head goes when he’s not keeping watch.

He still addresses you by the pet names you hate. He still finds any excuse to be close to you; he still pesters you like a child with a crush. But now, he calls you his baby like one wishes on a star; his eyes drift to your lips every time you’re within two feet of each other; he makes fun of your likes and dislikes only because he’s happy to know about them at all. Ever since that night on the gym floor.

It’s impossible for nothing and everything to change at once. Two people teetering on the precipice of something cannot withstand a gust of wind so powerful. He’s already hanging off the ledge, losing his grip; where are you?

Next to him, Seungmin lets out a soft laugh. “There is.”

Hyunjin doesn’t know what to say.

“It might’ve been me, at some point,” he hums, returning his hand to scratch the back of Kkami’s ears. “But it has always been you, Hyun.”

Four floors above them and inside Hyunjin’s place, you are pacing between his fridge and his bed, nervously awaiting his and Kkami’s return.

Something catches your eye, wide and flat and hung on the wall by his bathroom door. You approach it curiously, your lips pulling into a fond smile the moment you realize all that’s in front of you.

Many of the photographs are of Hyunjin: him in his preteens, dead asleep in bed while dressed head to toe in volleyball gear, braces visible because his mouth is open; an action shot taken at what must’ve been a U21 match, the South Korean flag stitched into the shoulder of his jersey; him with half a birthday cake in front of him and the rest smeared all over his face. There are headlines, too: Underdog team earns district’s first high school volleyball state title; Hwang Hyunjin proves himself worthy of “ace spiker” label at South Korea V. Croatia U19 match; Coach Bang “Christopher” Chan leads Seoul National University to second consecutive KUL championship. There’s one—Who is Hwang Hyunjin? Meet the twenty-year-old instigant of South Korea’s imminent volleyball revolution—beside which he’s written the singular word “mouthful.” You laugh; you agree.

But pinned to the corkboard is also a photograph of Minho, surrounded by stray cats in the alleyway outside a K-BBQ restaurant; his parents cradling Kkami in an apple costume; his high school volleyball team silhouetted against a pretty sunset. Him and Seungmin as kids, covered in grime and scrapes but beaming nonetheless; him and Seungmin at age nineteen, stadium lights on their backs, unadulterated elation on their faces as they charge towards each other, beaming still. Changbin piggybacking Felix through the hallways of the gym, neither of them wearing a shirt; Jisung offering Coach Bang a beer while the latter looks direly unamused (you make a mental note to ask about that one later); what looks like a Rock Lee cosplayer grimacing in the middle of your anthropology classroom.

You rush forward as if decreed by gravitational force. Not too far away is another picture of you, in which you boast a Miffy headband and a face full of foaming cleanser. Then another, your eyes narrowed like that of a sniper taking aim as you’re playing Tetris; you with so many volleyballs piled into your arms that you can’t see your own face; your cheeks squished by a bandaged hand after you lost a bet about pandas (they can swim); you clutching your stomach on the library floor, brought to hysterical tears by Professor Kim’s email. You, you, you.

You bring your pointer finger to this last image, tracing it over the curve of your own cheek. You see a dimple on your face you didn’t know you had. You realize it only comes out for him.

It has always been him.

The front door opens. A man with telephone poles for legs and a long-haired chihuahua in his arms appears behind it. You sense in him that something has changed since you last saw each other. The two of you lock eyes. 

It’s not awkward this time.

Multiple yards behind the service line, Hyunjin is rotating a volleyball in his hands. It feels solid and sentient, an extension of himself held in cotton-clad fingers. He knows how this story will end.

He moves his eyes to his best friend’s back. Four fingers flash back at him twice, signaling a high lob set to the left, the very play they’ve practiced tirelessly for the last five weeks. The breath Hyunjin blows out of his cheeks seems to crystallize in the air, almost solid in all its exhilaration. 

He bends low and throws high. His arms drop behind his body like a spread of feathered wings; his feet fall into place below him like a meteor shower, two consecutive strikes against the earth that fissure its mantle. The lights overhead are bright. His palm pulls taut when it slams into leather. He knows how this story will end.

The volleyball tears towards the ground. It trembles as if scared by all that it holds: the guarantee of a flawless denouement, the catalyst of a radiant future. Hyunjin’s heart is beating hard enough to crack his ribs when he lands back on the ground, when the volleyball lands in the furthest corner of the court. He’s not scared at all.

He balls his fingers into fists.

“JUST LIKE LAST YEAR, BACK TO BACK ON AN ACE—”

An arm seizes Hyunjin’s neck; another drags him onto the floor. His head thuds onto the hardwood with a sound he hears over the whole world detonating. His vision fills with the faces of the people he cares for most, some covered in tears and others rivaling the ceiling with their blinding smiles. He can’t feel most of his body; his sweat drips into his mouth. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care.

“—DEFENDING THEIR TITLE FOR THE THIRD CONSECUTIVE YEAR—”

His eyes find Seungmin’s among the fray. Their hands clap together with such force that Hyunjin cusses at the impact. Seungmin’s gaze burns into his with a ferocity that Hyunjin plans to take to his grave. His setter. His best friend.

He says something inaudible, but Hyunjin reads the words off his lips, and his eyes fill with tears: we win everything.

“—YOUR NATIONAL CHAMPIONS: SEOUL NATIONAL UNIVERSITY!”

Hyunjin’s post-game interview is a lawless affair. He is allowed at most half an answer before a new teammate is barreling over with an animalistic screech or a new friend is screaming congratulations from out of frame.

The reporter is visibly agitated by her final question, unpursing her lips to ask: “Is there anyone you’d like to thank?”

Hyunjin exhales. “You want the short answer or the long—”

Changbin seizes him by the head. Hyunjin bursts into a peal of high-pitched laughter as the libero litters kisses all over his face, nearly crumpling to the floor in his attempt to escape.

“Love you,” he yells before hurrying off. 

“Love you too, Bin.”

Hyunjin turns a sheepish smile to the reporter.

“The short answer,” she deadpans.

He starts counting off his fingers. He thanks his family—his first and last teammates, his eternal anchors. His other family, his actual teammates, the best boys he’s ever known. His coach, who will let him call him Chris someday. His best friend and setter, Kim Seungmin, who set a clothesline on fire once and changed his life forever.

In the distance, a figure emerges from the locker rooms. There’s a navy blue SNU banner draped over your shoulders, two overflowing duffel bags in your hands. Jisung and Jeongin run over to take them from you, and the smile you give them is wide and flushed, a remnant of the elation you shared from afar. The three of you start walking out of the gym.

Hyunjin thanks you.

You didn’t ask for the position, he tells the reporter, but some idiot roped you into it, and they’re all so grateful that you decided to stick around. You know the team better than they know themselves—it’s hard to believe you’ve been with them for five weeks instead of five years.

What are you like? What aren’t you like, is the better question. You’re caring, smart, strong; you see so much goodness in the people around you, all while unaware that it is your warmth that brings it out of them. Flowers only bloom in the sun’s doting radius, and so did he.

You have the sort of soul that incurs the scorn of the stars. They are the only ones to deserve you, they'd argue; you’re wasting your potential among humans when you belong to the sky, and they’d be right.

Hyunjin pokes his tongue into his cheek, suddenly annoyed.

“Why the fuck am I still talking to you?” 

“Pardon?” The reporter returns, but Hyunjin is already vaulting over the bleachers, making a mad dash for the exit. She gives her cameraman an affronted glare. He shrugs.

He explodes onto the concrete, looking around in a frantic haze. He finds the blue banner heading toward the team bus and flanked by his teammates with ease.

He calls out to you.

You glance backwards. Your smile is purely effulgent, your laugh but a faint sigh against the area’s busy thrum. His heart is pounding against his ribs like a battering ram again, but he’s used to this feeling by now. Jeongin and Jisung make themselves scarce.

You’re beautiful. God, you’re fucking beautiful. That was the first thought to enter his mind when he spilled an iced Americano on your lap all those months ago and you looked at him like he hailed from another planet. And it is the first thought to enter his mind now, when he runs up to you and cradles your face in his hands, his touch infinitely, impossibly gentle, and you look at him like he’s everything that has ever existed, everything that ever will. 

Tendrils of your body spray reach him from here, floral and light like a tropical coastline. He could’ve counted your eyelashes—if he didn’t have something far better to do.

“Tell me now if you don’t want me to do this,” he whispers.

A stupid smile crosses the face of the smartest person he knows. “My lips are sealed.”

Hyunjin kisses you. He kisses you until the banner around your shoulders is wrinkled under his touch, until your hands are tangled in his hair and aching his scalp, until the breaths you take are breaths you share, passed between your mouths like a puff of smoke before they’re colliding again.

He kisses you until he’s crying, again, until he’s no longer tasting your lips but your grin, and he kisses you only harder when those scornful stars start to dance before him, for you are his, not theirs, and he’s really won everything, now.

“Hwang, I need you in my office.”

Six months later, Hyunjin sees Coach Bang standing a few yards away with a grim air about him. He stops in his footsteps and glances at his captain, confused.

“I know nothing,” Seungmin says, walking away. “Good luck!”

“Thanks, cap.” Hyunjin swears he’s had this exact exchange before.

Head volleyball coach Christopher Bang’s workspace still reminds Hyunjin of a morgue. But there are two picture frames on his desk now: one of his family in front of the Sydney Opera House, the other of a band of boys clad in navy blue, draped over one another in exhausted bliss. The latter lends the room a much-needed sense of vitality. Too bad it still houses a rusty cyborg.

Hyunjin closes the door and takes a seat. Bang taps a knuckle against the tempered glass of his monitor. “Read.”

From: Nicola Daldello «ndaldello@pvm.com» To: Bang “Christopher” Chan «cb97@snu.edu» Subject: Re: Allianz Milano V. Pallavolo Perugia practice game Christopher, Allow me to apologize for my delayed response as I shared your request with Chairman Piazza. It is my great pleasure to inform you that we would love for Mr. Hwang Hyunjin to participate in our practice game versus Pallavolo Perugia. The match is scheduled for Monday, October 7th, 5-7 P.M. CET in the Giurati Sports Centre in Milan. Mr. Hwang will be playing for Allianz Milano as an outside hitter alongside Mr. Matey Kaziyski, Mr. Osniel Mergarejo, and Mr. Ishikawa Yuki. Please let me know of your availability to call regarding Mr. Hwang’s travel logistics. His transportation and lodging costs will be paid for by the club. I’m looking forward to speaking with you and welcoming Mr. Hwang to Italy once and for all. Yours, Nicola Daldello Assistant Coach, Allianz Milano

“I told you, some opportunities just present themselves,” Bang says, turning his monitor back around. “As for next steps, I need a holistic calendar view of your entire month of October, including social ev—Hwang, is that foam coming out of your mo—NOT ON MY CARPET! HWANG!”

In a park about a ten minute walk away, a small crowd of elderly people are scattered across a few stone tables, hunched over the fading chess boards painted into the granite surfaces. Mrs. Choi whisks away Mrs. Baek’s king with a triumphant yelp.

“I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! That opening is unbeatable!” She swivels towards you, shaking a fist threateningly. “You! Get over here. Your reign is over.”

You are sitting cross-legged in the shade of a broad magnolia tree, clearing out your storage. You tried to take a picture of a particularly rotund pigeon to send to Hyunjin earlier and couldn’t even do that. It was then you decided you couldn't live like this anymore.

“As excited as I am to beat you again, Mrs. Choi, I need ten more minutes,” you call back. 

She presents you with an unpleasant hand gesture. You turn your attention back to your phone, grinning. Two new notifications sit at the top of your lock screen.

Hyunjin: Omw now. Sorry had to talk to Chris Hyunjin: Same park? Y/N: yes Hyunjin: Who’s our opponent today Y/N: mrs. choi Hyunjin: Not that bitch again Y/N: ?

He’ll be here in eight minutes.

You return to the task at hand. You’ve already cleared out your apps, your documents, and videos; all that’s left is the audio files. You conduct a quick mental review. Surely you’ll live without your downloaded music and accidental voice memos.

Instead of hitting the “delete” button, you extract a pair of tangled earphones from your jacket pocket.

You go back to your texts with Hyunjin, open the shared attachments tab, and scroll for a long time before you find the voice note he sent you seven months ago.

He finds you a sobbing mess.

“Hey, hey, whoa.” He’s on his knees in an instant, gathering your hands into his, a world of concern in the brown of his eyes. Your earbuds fall out and clatter onto the cement below. “Baby, what’s happening? Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you say in a flustered haste. “Yes, I’m okay. I don’t—I don’t really know what’s happening.”

“Did that hag do this to you?” He asks this question so seriously. “I’ll beat up a senior citizen, I don’t give a fuck—”

“No!” You let out an ugly laugh through your tears. “No, no. Leave Mrs. Choi alone.”

“Then what is it? What’s wrong?”

Eventually, your vision clears enough for you to look at the man kneeling in front of you. His roots grow out longer every day, his hair by now nearly equal parts gold and black. A spot of sunlight infiltrates the magnolia leaves and lands on his left eye, turning it the hue of melted bronze.

Your fingers drift to the sides of his beautiful face as you lean in close; he smells like a combination of smoky rose and tropical coastlines.

“I’ll tell you later,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to his hairline. 

He is dissatisfied with this, hooking a pointer finger beneath your chin, guiding your face back to his. He laves the saltwater from your lips, your tongue, and then you’re smiling again, barely able to remember why you cried in the first place.

You rest your foreheads together. “Have I told you that you look like a bumblebee these days?”

He smiles. “Does that make you my flower, then?”

“Because you’re irresistably drawn to me?”

“No, because I wanna put my pollen in—”

You shove him away. “You are grotesque.”

He returns in a flash. “You love me.”

You kiss him again. And again. And one more time for good measure, during which you mumble I do against his lips, and then you remember something.

“Why did Coach hold you back, by the way?” You pull away, tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. “Are you in trouble again?”

“No, no. The opposite, actually.”

Your brow furrows. “The opposite? What—”

“In this lifetime, please,” Mrs. Choi hollers from the chess tables. You roll your eyes. Hyunjin smiles helplessly.

“Duty calls, my love.”

“Tell me your thing later too?”

“Of course.”

You dust yourself off and stand up, making your way to the battleground. But not before you whisper to Hyunjin, “now watch me beat up a senior citizen.”

He laughs with his whole body, his eyes the shape of crescent moons, his mouth a little rectangle.

“Hypocrite.”

Hyunjin: [1 Audio Message]

This is my seventh take and I’m not recording an eighth. What you get is what you get. I don’t care anymore.

I understand if you don’t wanna talk about what happened at the arcade. I wouldn’t, either. I just wanted to say that you don’t have to do this tutoring thing anymore. I won’t be able to fulfill my end of our deal, so…yeah, it wouldn’t be fair to you. You’ve already done so much for us. For me.

As for team manager, you’ll have to talk to Minho and Coach Bang if you wanna quit. Doesn’t sound like a fun conversation, I know—but if that’s what you decide, I’ll have your back. They don’t scare me. Well, they do. But only sometimes.

You’ve been…distant, this week. I’ve known peace and quiet for the first time since we met, and I fucking hate it. I realized I couldn’t care less if you’re my tutor or my team manager or whatever—I just don’t want you to be a stranger. Maybe that’s selfish of me to say, but I’m tired of pretending the idea of losing you doesn’t terrify me. It does. It really fucking does.

I’m gonna end this here, because I almost just stopped recording on accident and I’ll genuinely commit homicide if I have to do all this again. Sorry that this got so long, and…I’m sorry about everything. You deserve better.

Come back to me whenever you’re ready, okay? I’ll be waiting.

🔖 (send an ask to be added)・@astraystayyh・@like-a-diamondinthesky・@fire-08・@starsandrqindrops・@txtxlz・@laylasbunbunny・@strayghibli・@nuronhe・@seungminsapuppy・@vivisoni・@moon0fthenight・@sweetpickledjins・@svintsandghosts・@nhyunn ・@ur-boyfiend・@liknws・@hotgorloikawa・@randomwimp・@automaticpersonabatpaper・@aceofvernons・@linos-kitten・@newhope8・@weedforthoughtz・@hyunverse

© 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐱 (est. 090323) · liked this work? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support ♡

[ventique18]

Book 7, Chapter 7, Episode 111

(MALLEUS APPEARS AGAINSD ASHJDD SADLSDLADSJKASD)

Ortho: "No way... Brother, do you really think that black haze is "Ortho"?"

Ortho: "No! You have to leave this place quickly! You can't get caught by that black haze!"

Ortho?: "Don't think of anything anymore. Iddy, you're just tired from too much gaming... You should get some sleep."

Idia starts falling asleep, but the real Ortho keeps shouting for him not to. But still, he falls asleep and gets transported into a dream within a dream...

Idia: "... Wha, I... Why am I in ceremonial robes, in the courtyard?"

???: "Is that person over there Shroud?"

OH MY GOOOOOD HE'S HERE, HE'S HERE! IT'S IDIA'S CEREMONIAL ROBES VIGNETTE SDAIDIODSA AWOOGA AWOOGA

Malleus: "So it is Shroud indeed. ... What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Idia: "Ma, Malleus... What are you doing here?"

Malleus: "What ever do you mean... Is the entrance ceremony not about to start very soon?"

Idia: "Eh? Entrance ceremony?"

Malleus: "Haha... You seem to be half-asleep. Much like our dorm's Silver.

"Hm? Wait. Hasn't the entrance ceremony, like, ended months ago..."

Malleus: What are you saying? You are to be housewarden today. It's your first entrance ceremony as one."

Idia: "Is... Is that right?"

MALLEUS IS GASLIGHTING IDIA OH MY GOD LOL

Malleus: "What an odd fellow you are. Well then, let us go to the Mirror Chamber together. It would be quit an improper decorum indeed for third year housewardens like us to be late."

Idia: "Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something important..."

Suddenly, something explodes from afar!

Idia: "A, a ball of light is floating in the sky... Is that, a meteorite?!"

Idia: "Wu-wuh, what the hell! Is it hurtling towards me? Is it?!"

THIS IS SENDING ME TO DEATH OMFG! HE HID BEHIND MALLEUS! I CAJKKLDASDS A IDIAAAAA DHISDASIOJKLASD

Malleus: "That thing... is something "I do not understand"."

Idia: "Wuh-what, what? How are you so calm?! We gotta run for it!"

Idia: "If that thing hits us, even you'll get K.O.'d in one hit!"

It keeps approaching them, so Idia tries to cast a magic barrier out of desperation. It doesn't do shit though and still causes another explosion.

"I hope the program that "erases all data in all devices in an emergency" works properly..!"

IDIA IS THIS REALLY THE RIGHT TIME TO HOPE YOUR BROWSING HISTORY GETS DELETED WHEN YOU DIE OH MY GOD.

"......... Uhm? I'm, I'm alive?"

???: "Soul Signal Tracking complete. Target acquired."

Ortho: "Thanks for waiting, big brother! I've come for you!"

Idia: "Eh?! Who r u?!"

He sees STYX's emblem on Ortho and asks if he's a brand new mecha suit made by his mom. But then he notices that the thing called him "big brother"...

Ortho: "I'll explain later. Stand down, big brother."

Ortho: "There's a scary guy glaring at us."

Malleus: "What is the meaning of this, Littler Shroud."

Malleus: "You are not supposed to exist in this dream. How did you get in here?"

Ortho: "Ahaha! Didn't you say it yourself, Mr. Malleus Draconia."

Ortho: "I'm like a ghost; just an intangible electronic data. Do ghosts need a reason to phase through space?"

Malleus: "Heh... Hahaha! I applaud you for surprising me twice."

Malleus: "However, the fact that you have intruded in my castle not once, but twice..."

Malleus: "IS PURE INSOLENCE. MECHANICAL DOLL!"

Malleus: "AWAY WITH YOU, FOOL!"

[slickchickchocolatier]

hiiiiii reinna i love ur work it makes my day everytime i read it lmaooo <333

i was wondering if u could make a fic abt sunoo like youre the 8th member of enhypen and since youre not that girly or act cute like the other female idols instead kinda tomboy and baddie sunoo finds you annoying cos hes not used to it but the other members r fine. one day after dance practice (y/n and jungwon r roomates) saurrr jungwon told yn the tea abt sunoo hating her but yn secretly likes sunoo. So after jungwon left to go somehwere idk shopping?? Yn cried n cried n cried and u can basically use ur creative imagination for the rest 👻👻 pls make it smut at the end tho i love it 👻👻👻

Thanksssssss miss bestest ever writter everrrr!! 1!111!1 ❤️❤️❤️

"Ddeonu....."

@reyna-ohno - I hope i did you justice ;)

Warnings: unprotected smut, fingering, gossiping, enemies to lovers trope, some minor angst, cursing's, a little bit of hate sex....and i think that's it. to make it more believable, Y/n has her own room but is close with the members and allows them to come hang out. I wrote majority of this while i was on bedrest recovering, so i apologize this is not proofread.

"She's really not at all like the others..." Jake remarks as he sits next to Heeseung, noting that your behavior on camera, was very much genuine as you were no different than how you were off camera.

"Yeah she doesnt seem to be into that whole cutsie thing. Kind of refreshing actually."

"Yeah man, i think so too."

Everyone could relatively agree, to see you be yourself, it was new and fresh, and a delight to see. For Sunoo, it was an abomination.

While you were filming alongside Jungwon, while you were chic and stylish in your own manner, you opted for casual and simple flares of fashion rather than the traditional girly and fancy type. With a loose pair of jeans on, a fitted tee shirt with a matching baseball cap, you displayed your smile and laughter by having a good time being the only girl member in the band.

Watching from aside, Sunoo glares and rolls his eyes. Next to him, Sunghoon pops over and gives him a slight side bump to break the silence after noting the look of irritation on his face. "Whats got you all worked up?"

"Why can't she just be like the rest of the girls in the industry? She's not at all doing well on these weverse lives, people want to see cute girls being....cute...not relaxed and chilled."

"give her a break, she's just being herself man. Can't be mad at that."

"I'm not mad i just.....i just dont get it." Sunoo shakes his head as he turns and walks away with his arms crossed, obviously irritated by your lack of enthusiasm when it came to attempting to be adorable, much like your counterpart, Jungwon. For a young man to be far more agile in being cute in his mannerisms, more than you, that usually was an indicator that you were someone who was far too much of a hopeless cause. Truth of the matter, Sunoo knew what the public liked, he knew that fans liked it when idols did silly and cute things like finger hearts, squinting eyes while displaying a cat like smile, or making high pitched sounds. You didn't do any of that, nor did you attempt it, which caused him to wonder if you were going to be the downfall of Enhypen.

Finishing the live stream, you and the boys all made your way back home to the dorm where you nestled yourself in you room, conveniently next to Jungwon's, who had developed a close bond with, much like a sibling. Since receiving your room assignments, being the only girl, you got your own room, yet it was nice to have Jungwon right next to you, since it was easy for him to come in and out to visit all throughout the night to hang out or watch tv together. Tonight was no different, especially with the new episodes of your guys favorite tv show coming out.

*Knock knock*

"come in." you softly call out, and as expected, you watched as Jungwon brings in a plate of fresh hot hotteok, and tea.

"did you start it?"

"no not yet, was waiting for you."

"Ah."

settling in as he places the plate and two cups on the table, you both prepared to watch the latest episode. As the opening credits rolled, Jungwon took the opportunity to talk about the vlive from earlier.

"Hey so......only because i'm the leader.......but......does it bother you that Sunoo.....well....you know...."

Raising your eyebrows in confusion as you munched on the honey filled treat, you looked up and shrugged your shoulders slightly. "What do you mean?"

"You dont know?"

"Know what?"

Jungwon sighs as he curses himself for opening a door that he wish he hadn't. "nevermind."

"Nooooo...dont be like that....tell me."

"its just....well....he really doesnt like you......and he makes it obvious."

Stunned, your eyes grew wide as you felt your heart drop. "Oh....he does?"

"yeah......do you want me to talk to him about it?"

Shaking your head, you kept your composure as best as you could. "No...its fine.....i'm sure he'll get over it."

Jungwon smiles in return. "yeah, i'm glad you're not too upset about it."

But the fact of the matter was, you were upset....deeply. No one would know of it, since you were very much strategic in keeping it hidden, but you were quite fond of Sunoo....you actually liked him even....so much, that you caught yourself dreaming of him, fantasizing on what it would be like to snuggle up with him, going on dates, or just being in his embrace and smelling his cologne.

You held it all in and the entire night, one episode after another, you felt as if your heart was punching your chest outward.

...........

"Well, i'm gonna go to bed. we got an early morning tomorrow, so dont stay up too late."

"Okay." you feigned a smile as you watched him walk out. The moment you left the room, you hid yourself into the dimmed lighting in your room and began crying. You felt hurt. Did Sunoo really not like you? Why? You both hardly shared any words to one another. Yet it all started to make sense, for all the times you though back when you tried to make conversation, only to watch him side eye you as he would get up and leave the room. There were other moments too, such as whenever you would sit right next to him, and he'd let out an exhausting sigh, and get up to walk across the other side of the room to sit in a different seat. Initially, you didn't think much of it, you had thought he merely was just shy or just was not used to being around female idols. But now......it all makes senses. The man who you really wanted to be with....the one you admired from afar, day dreamed...the one you would do anything for, actually disliked you.....hated you......

Sobbing away into your kneecaps as you held your legs to your chest, you failed to notice that Jungwon had mistakenly left your door cracked open, not shutting it all the way through. With the bit of the dimmed lighting peeking out from the crack, the hallway remained pitch black with just a strip of the orange and yellow hue coming from your room.

Walking up after grabbing a bottle water from the kitchen, Sunoo strolls through the same hallway, all to reach his room at the end of the corridor.

hearing the faint sounds of your sobs, he takes a swig of his water and gulps it down as he sides eye the slivers crack in the door.

“is she….crying? What is her deal?”

sighing out in frustration, he took the chance to enter and see if he could get you to stop, considering your room was across from his. With all that sniffling and whimpering, it would be hard for him to get some sleep with your cries echoing in the hall. Walking into the dimmed room, he gently shuts the door behind him and walks further in. Breaching the opening of your room, he stands straight and leans against the wall while watching your pitiful state. Taking another gulp of water down, he rolls his eyes as he breaks the silence.

“you know if you’re going to cry, you can at least have your door shut all the way through so you don’t wake anyone.”

jolting out of your fetal position, you look up him with your tear stained face. Shocked, your eyes were wide and glossy, pieces of your hair remained plastered on your face and you softly whimpered out a few sniffles before stuttering out an “s-sorry….”

eyeing you down, he takes yet, another gulp from his bottle. Switching his gaze to the floor as he screws the cap back on, he crosses his arms before asking you the big question, merely because he grew curious after seeing your face.

“so…..”

confused, you sat there in silence and looked off to the side before turning back to him. “……um….s..sorry?”

sighing out as he rubbed his temple, he finally speaks out. It was soft yet firm, with a low tone….much lower than what he normally dispelled.

“bitch why are you crying?”

taken aback, your eyes became overflowing with the stinging of tears once more when you heard his harsh tone. Whimpering into your kneecaps again, he rolled his eyes in defeat as he regains composure and attempts this once more.

“okay okay look….just tell me why you’re crying. Can you do that? Hmm? Can you just stop and talk for a second? I’d like to eventually get some beauty rest.”

you shifted over and turned your back towards him.

“just go sunoo…….you’re not going to be the solution to any of my problems right now.”

“Huh…..”

gaining width in his widened glare, you heard his foot steps and thought he was walking in the opposite direction to exit the room. It wasn’t until you felt his weight plopping beside you that you realized he was sitting right next to you. Not only that, but the moment you heard his careless whisper, how his hot breath touched your ear, you knew he was far closer than he had ever been with you.

“Why is that?” He whispered into your ear. you shuttered as you felt an electric shock travel up and down your spine.

“stop! Why are you here? Why do you even care or try? I know you hate me…..just….leave me alone.” You broke down and began to sob as you lashed out the truth.

he didn’t deny it, nor did he try to argue with you on your statement, he did in fact, borderline hated you. Though hearing you say it aloud made him feel a certain type of way about it.

“you’re right….I do hate you.”

“could you please just go……..I….I don’t understand…I’ve never done anything to you….I’ve tried to be nice and I’ve always been helpful…..I’ve……I’ve don’t everything I could to make you see how much I care…” breaking down, you sobbed as you curled your body in.

“I know.” He admitted, nonchalantly at that, as if he knew all this time yet still found it suitable to hate you. But that’s as all about to change….

feeling his hand grasp your shoulder and turning you over, in a rather forceful nature, you gasped out in shock as you witness his frame hovering over you. His feline eyes staring right into your iris and a soft, very faint smile appeared on his pouty lips.

his pupils shift in random direction as he takes in y the sight of your face. Releasing a soft chuckle, he calmly speaks out.

“cute.”

caught off guard, he blinked in shock before uttering an “excuse me?” Bidding him to clarify.

“I said, ‘cute’. Does crying make you deaf too?”

“why are you being this way? I don’t get it…..”

“welcome to my world."

"What is your problem!?" you snapped. you've about had it with his cocky attitude and the lack of sincerity in his tone. Yet the moment he pinned you down as he leaned further in, with his nose pressed against your cheek and his hot breath grazing against your lips, you were shocked still.

"you know, you put on that act to behave like one of the guys. you act cool and casual, and you treat all aspects of being a girl as something that is beneath you. yet look at you now.....crying and looking so adorable......so soft....all your feminine features coming out with each tear drop you cry out."

"ar.....are you toying with me?"

"Maybe.......is that bad?.....is that something that bothers you?"

Shrugging from left to right, you try to break free from his grasp as he began to hold on to your wrists. "huh....you're even cuter when you struggle."

"stop it! get off of me!"

"I will.....if you can get me off." he smirks with that sly smile that he was known for. You gave in as you break down from feeling the immense different in strength. Despite being the carefree and adored idol he was, Sunoo was indeed still, a man.

"Why .....just why....?"

Smirking once more, he leans further in and pauses just before his lips are met with yours. "ddeonu" he whispers.

You raised a brow in annoyance as you whispered back. "is that supposed to be funny? like a joke?"

Once more, he whispers back "ddeonu....you tell me...." smiling and smirking against your lips, you faintly smile back as you feel his grasp loosen and soften up, with his finger tips stroking your skin.

"do. you really hate me?" you asked.

Before he could answer, you softy whispered and cut him off. "let me guess.....ddeonu?"

His eyes widening for a moment, he whispers firmly and tells you, "say it again."

Leaning slightly upward, you softly tell him......"ddeonu....."

His lips lock yours in. His hands eagerly roam up and down your body. Your hands rest on his broad shoulders as you feel his grope slightly shift your body upward from the overwhelming sensation of his soft skin traveling all over your stomach, your breasts, and your ribcage. breaking the kiss to catch his breath, ultimately allowing for you to do the same, he breathes out his gasping words as he rips your buttons apart.

"Whine for me....little girl."

"No Sunoo...."

"Do it."

Kissing you, he shoves his hand down your shorts and flickers his two fingers against your clit. Just as he wanted, you whimper into his mouth as he holds your wrists down with one hand. "Whine some more." he breathes out.

Meshing his lips with yours, he rubs your slit up and down and presses his palm on it as he clams a grip and shoves his tongue deeper into your mouth.

Breaking free for a moment, you turn your head and gasp out. "God!.....I hate you i swear."

"Do you now? Tell me how much you hate the fox." he mumbles against your lips, as. he pulls down your shorts and panties, rolling them down past your kneecaps.

"Sunoo....." you whispered out.

Hovering over, he props his frame on his knees and pulls his shirt off, loosening his sweatpants, he leans back in and props his chest to remain heightened just above your exposed breasts as he uses his arm to stilt himself up. His hair loosely draping down as he eyes you with an intrigued glare.

"you look so cute when you cry...."

"........you're crazy."

"every sly fox is." he smirks as he kisses you once more, this time it was tender, and more gentle. Leaning all the way down, you relished as his body melts into yours, your arms wrap around his neck as you feel him probe your entrance. Gasping for air, you grip on to his shoulders and dig your fingers in as you feel him slide the remaining length inside you.

"Y-you...you're not wearing a condom." you breathed out, wincing your eyes shut as you felt the sting of him inserting all the way through.

"Don't worry.....i know you're a good girl....and you know i'm clean.....considering we're with each other all the time." he heavily breaths out upon feeling the pressure of your entry squeezing him as he bottoms out inside.

It was true, since you always had feelings for the man to your right, you never once paid any mind to all of your fans, the other idols, or staff that showed interest. You remained faithful to a dream that you never thought would have come, yet you stayed hopeful. The dreams alone, were enough to get you by, now that you were in this moment, it all felt surreal.

"Ah! You...you're too big!"

Kissing you tenderly, he begins to thrust slowly and deeply. "Yeah?....It might be because you're super tight." wincing at the last part, he grits his teeth slightly as he pulls out yet kept the tip nestled in before shoving himself all the way back in through.

"Fuck.....you're really tight......" breathing in deeply into your ear, he caresses both sides of your head and twirls his fingers with your hair as he softly kisses your helix, nibbles on your lobe and licks the inside of your ear canal.

"Ugh! ugh! Sunoo!" you gasp out as you release each pleasurably moan and bite your lip. Remaining in the missionary position, Sunoo props himself up as he lifts both your legs and rests them over his shoulders. "S...sstop." you shyly utter out as he positions you to be fully exposed and in his view. "Shhhh......be a good girl." breathes out as he reaches around one of your thighs and circles the pad of his thumb on your clit. With your hips dipping high and low with each thrust, he picks up the pace upon seeing how delectable your breasts looked as they jiggle up and down from his momentum.

"Oh.....shit....move like that some more baby girl...." he gasps as the sweat beads drip down and his hair glistens and becomes slick wet. "Move...baby....move some more...." thrusting in faster and faster, you lose breath as his bumping thrust instilled a raging sense of pelting pleasure that penetrates deep into your chest.

"Oh.......oh my god...fuck.......what.....what are you doing??...." you gasp out as you bite on to your finger as you shift your face off to the side, your body drenched with sweat as you take in thrust after thrust. Feeling him easily sliding in, you felt your body leaking the bit of moisture onto his lengthy shaft as his thrusts and friction caused it to thicken and cream up on the base of your opening, with a reside ringing around his length.

"Shhhh......take it cutie....fuck.......take it all." he gasps out as he thrusts in deeper, leaning back in as his chest rests atop your breasts, locking your lips in once more. Your moans started to pick up volume, so he swoops a hand and gently covers your mouth while planting his lips on your forehead, taking in the feeling of your face jolting up and down as he pelts you with his hip thrusts. "Oh you're so fucking good.....you know that?" he whispers as he kisses your sweaty brow line as you moan out your muffled answer into his palm. "keep taking it.....just......shit....little more......r-...right there...." gasping out a deep breath, he pulls out his shaft and watches as the slime of your body's lubricant and his pre-cum lines a bridge between your entry and his tip. Aiming for your breasts, he holds his shaft steadily in his palm as he releases and paints your chest with his seed. Chuckling as he catches his breath, he kisses your face tenderly as you whimper out, trying your best to calm your heartbeat.

"Can't get you pregnant....not yet.....staff and company wouldn't like that....." with a tender kiss, he softly rolls his tongue around, massaging the inside of your cheeks as he continues.

"but maybe.....a little later......maybe we'll make something as cute as you.....hmm?"

Tired, breathless, weakened and limp, you whispered out "ddeonu...." to which he laughs as he keeps his lips planted on your cheek.

"I do...."

Enjoyed this piece? Show love and treat your girl to a cup of coffee. ♥️  ☕ Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/reinbow

[lynnsquared]

Who you belong to || gp!Hyeju x f!Reader

an : to the anon that requested this hiii baby i'm sorry this took me so long 😭🙏 i hope even tho it took forever (for reasons i will not force upon you innocent tumblrinas) you still love it and u dont mind the fact that i am clearly inexperienced at writing gp 😎🤙 btw guys this is my first actual fic post so plzz enjoy there will def be more in the future :) cw : big dick hyeju 🙏, dom!hyeju/sub!reader, jealous!hyeju, hyeju calls u a slut a bunch so degradation, creampie, SOOYOUNG MENTION!111!!!11!!11!!, idek 😭 barely proofread also wc : 1.5k

All Hyeju could do was huff when she pumped her fingers in and out of your cunt. Tears welled up in your eyes as Hyeju scolded you. How could you ever be so stupid? It was one thing to flirt with Sooyoung, but another to flirt with Sooyoung in front of your girlfriend. Whether it was actually flirting or simply being touchy didn’t matter to her. All that mattered was that it happened and that she hated it.

Hyeju had you sandwiched between the wall of your room and her body. She lifted your leg high to give her “easier access” to your pussy, and she didn’t care how uncomfortable it was for you. In this moment, she only cared about making you remember who you belonged to; You did. 

"You like this, don’t you? You like when my fingers abuse your pussy?" Hyeju brought her mouth to your ear and degraded you with a low growl. She could feel her dick throbbing in her pants as she watched how your body responded to her, noting the way you squirmed and moaned every time she rammed her fingers into your hole with loud smacks. "You’re such a slut.. Flirting with other women in front of me just to get horny when I punish you for it? Such a slut.."

The only things you could muster for responses were pathetic whines and pleas, begging her to slow down. Hyeju, of course, didn't. With every plea, her touch only got rougher, and her growls only got lower. Your body didn't seem to care how bad it hurt. You could feel yourself clench around Hyeju's fingers. From that familiar clench, she knew you were about to cum.

"Hm, you're cumming already?" She questioned, slowing her thrusts down just a bit. When you nodded, she spoke again with a low laugh, "Yeah.. not yet."

The moment you felt your mind turning blank with pleasure, Hyeju took her fingers out of your folds. As you whimpered, upset your climax was taken from you, you could hear Hyeju unzipping her jeans. Promptly, you heard them hit the floor. With her boxers still on, she started grinding her cock against your pussy, laughing when you moaned from the shock. "I bet your needy pussy wants my cock, hm?"

What you hated the most was that she was right. You felt a bit empty without her filling you up. Even though she was mad at you, her behavior made you hornier than ever. Heat shot up to your face and flushed it. As a ramification of that, tears welled up in your eyes. Hyeju noticed almost immediately, groaning as she continued to grind, "Is my little slut crying? Do you want my dick that bad?" 

"I-I want… I want it.." All you could do was stutter and nod as tears streamed down your face. Hyeju gripped your chin and smirked at the sight, loving how your mascara left streaks on your cheeks. 

"Are you sure? Are you sure you deserve my cock?" You nodded weakly again. "Speak up, slut. Tell me how bad you want me to claim you."

You could barely speak as you whimpered, trying to figure out what to say to please her. You didn't want to sound too needy because you were worried that she wouldn't fuck you at all as an extension of your punishment, but you were. With a long whine, you eventually stuttered out a pathetic, "W-wan' your cock so bad, Hyeju. Want to feel you fill me.."

The instant your words fell on Hyeju's ears, she pulled her cock from her boxers and slammed it into you without warning. Both of you gasped as your cunt consumed all seven thick inches with a tight clench. While her gasp came from the pleasurable feeling of your tight walls hugging her dick, yours came from the shock of her tip hitting your cervix. Though there was a sharp pain that came as her cock penetrated your pussy, you were so desperate to cum that it didn't matter.

"Hm, fuck, you like that?" When she spoke to you, her voice was breathy and slightly teasing. She started to rock her hips a bit, moving her cock inside of you and moaning as she did so. She was so big, you almost couldn’t take it. A smirk formed on Hyeju's face as she felt your walls tighten around her. "Would you clench like that for Sooyoung, slut?"

"No, only you," You cried out, tears continuing to stream down your cheeks as Hyeju began to pump her dick in and out of your cunt rapidly, "...Only want you, Hyeju."

"That’s what I thought." Hyeju started to pant as she shifted your position, now fully pushing you against the wall and holding you up by both of your legs as she continued to pound her cock into you. The only sounds in the room were Hyeju's heavy breathing, your pathetic whimpers, and the wet slapping of Hyejus balls hitting your ass. It was safe to say these noises only turned you on more. 

Hyeju's hands gripped your thighs tightly. If you could see them, there would be indents from her nails. The visual reminders that you were hers, such as the nail indents or the mascara streaks, made Hyeju coo. She knew that no matter how much you flirt with another woman, only she could fuck you like this. Only she could leave marks on you like this. 

With the amount of times Hyeju had called you a slut, you felt yourself starting to believe it. You believed it the most when you felt your orgasm approaching just mere minutes after her thick cock began to pierce you. What kind of woman gets touchy with another girl and cums when her girlfriend punishes her by using her like a toy? A slut does. 

You could feel that Hyeju was going to cum quickly as well, as her pent-up frustration likely made her more sensitive. Her pace quickened, her cock twitched inside of your tight walls, and her breath began to get airier. She groaned before moving you from the wall to your bed, ramming herself into you again after she heard you whine for more. 

"Still whining, huh?" She ridiculed. As she quickened her pace, you felt her dick hitting every spot it needed to. With every thrust you could feel yourself clenching harder and harder as you were painfully close to cumming. 

"Fuck, if you keep clenching, I'll cum too," Hyeju leaned down and grunted into your ear as both of you felt your highs approaching. Between her heavy pants, Hyeju's voice turned from aggressive to genuine with one statement:

"Can I cum inside?" 

With that simple phrase, you felt yourself let loose completely. Though you stuttered out a pathetic moan of permission, you couldn't quite figure out what part of that caused such an extreme reaction. Maybe it was the sudden tenderness in her tone, but you decided not to dwell on it as you allowed yourself to fully embrace your orgasm. 

As yours came, Hyeju's orgasm followed. The way your body tensed as you came felt too good around her cock. She couldn't help but shoot her hot seed into you before pulling out. As she pulled away, she backed up a little to see the mixture of your cum leaking out of your pussy and cooed. Without saying a word, she plugged the mix of liquids up with two fingers, eliciting you to let out a sharp whine.

Hyeju flopped down next to you and sighed, looking at you with sultry eyes. With a slight chuckle, she took her fingers away from your core and brought them to your mouth. You began to suck the slick from her fingers, moaning a bit as you did so to please her.

"Do you remember who you belong to now?" She asked, beginning to gently caress your arm. You were so fucked-out, all you could do was nod. "No, baby, you need to use your words."

"You, Hyeju.. I belong to you.." She hummed at your response before leaning in and pressing open-mouth kisses down your neck. As your initial horniness faded, you now felt a need to apologize to Hyeju for rubbing up on another woman. "I'm sorry for being clingy with sooyoung. Only you could fuck me like this.. I could only belong to you."

"That's right." You could feel her lips curve into a sinister smile as she bit down, sucking on the sensitive skin of your neck to leave a hickey. "I'm glad you can acknowledge it now, but don't ever put yourself in a situation where you need to acknowledge it again."

And again, she pulled away. She brought herself back to your level and brushed hair out of your face as you cooed, nuzzling into her like nothing had happened. You found that this was the most comfortable way to fall asleep; Your brain was fried from Hyeju fucking you, both of you were sweaty and worn out, and cum was leaking from your pussy and staining the sheets. Yes, you regretted hurting her, but a part of you was thankful you woke up Hyeju's jealous side.

[lovebvni]

Pick - A - Pile !! (old, 10.30.21)

Hey my loves! I'm doing bi-weekly pick a piles now! While I was shuffling a bit tarot was calling my gay ass out so uHmMMM yeah!

Today we will be answering 5 questions submitted by the one and only Rozy!! If you have any  questions, you can dm me for a private reading or submit them in the comments~ The questions I use will be shouted out by the submitter.

I also put the cards I pulled for your own interpretation if you understand how tarot works <3

The 5 questions for today are...

1) Why are you not shifting? (some advice)

2) What major steps can YOU take to advance in your shifting journey?

3) How do people see you in your dr?

4) Little message from your s/o.

5) What your s/o thinks about you *when they get to know you ofc*

Breathe in.. Now breathe out...

Listen to your intuition and pick an emoji

🎗️ | 🎃 |🔮| 🎴

Hi pile 1!

Welcome to your reading! Take what resonates and leave the rest! If this pile doesn't say anything that goes with you, then try the other piles! I know everyone doing this pick a pile is supposed to be here so! 

1) Why are you not shifting? (some advice)

Cards : 2 of Swords reversed, Ace of cups reversed, Page of Pentacles.

There's a liar in your life, perhaps someone you were close to and they're bring you down in some way?? "Honesty is the best  policy". They're being unfair to you in some way? Maybe its you bringing yourself down? STOP THAT! YOU'RE LYING TO YOURSELF YOU'RE POWERFUL AND CAN SHIFT! Go on Youtube and search some shifting motivation! Now!!

2) What major steps can YOU take to advance in your shifting journey?

Cards : 2 of Swords, King of Wands reversed, Strength reversed.

Plan ahead, maybe start a shifting routine! That will help you, a lot! Look to someone with a good shifting routine for advice, don't overwork yourself so that you HAVE to do it, just some simple things. Work on your hope and desire to shift, stop just being like 'Dammit didn't shift again' KEEP TRYING DAMMIT!

3) How do people see you in your dr?

Cards : Knight of Cups, 8 of Wands reversed, Ace of Pentacles.

Maybe as someone who's famous, with a lot of money, a protector, 111% a protector, you aren't so much territorial, more as wanting to keep everything and everyone safe. Maybe you're privilaged (I CANT SPELL) but you also want to protect EVERYONE you meet no matter if they're like Bakugou or Deku.

4) Little message from your s/o.

Cards : The Moon reversed, Judgement, Ace of Swords reversed.

Stop being so fearful, I love you no matter what you look like. You're so pretty/handsome. You're so smart and I can tell. The Universe knows you deserve this and I'm sorry that it seems hard to you. Hold on, everything is gonna work out for the better. Love u lots!

5) What your s/o thinks about you *when they get to know you ofc*

Cards : 5 of Wands, 7 of Pentacles reversed, The Chariot.

You're a fighter, You don't take no for an answer and they admire you for that! You keep moving forward no matter how hard its getting, I know you can do anything you put your mind to. Pick your head up, screw it back on, and keep walking. Run. You're getting closer everyday.

Phrases and numbers: Almost there - Disney's Tiana, 3, 9, 7 ,64, 30, Halloween, IcyHot, "God help me.", "Good greef", "I need my damn music shut up"

pile 2

Welcome pile 2!

This is your reading, only take what resonates. Check out the other piles if you don't get anything from this one!

1) Why are you not shifting? (some advice)

Cards : King of Wands, Knight of Pentacles, King of Cups.

All suited cards, wow. You guys def have something going on that you're trying to fight, try to put that aside and work on shifting some more. Have more hope and try manifesting - maybe even sigils.

2) What major steps can YOU take to advance in your shifting journey?

Cards : Temperance, 8 of Cups, Knight of Swords.

Be patient, remember divine timing. You have so much to give, try some new hobbies and you are ADDICTED to trying to shift - take a break please. Over working yourself to shift and not taking a break makes it even harder to shift in my opinion, take a break this weekend.

3) How do people see you in your dr?

Cards : 8 of Pentacles, 10 of Pentacles, and 3 of Pentacles

All I'm getting is someone who's rich LMFAO!! Rich in spirit maybe? You're probably social in your dr with your family, lots of family events and shit. Hanging out with friends, I don't see you going to like high school parties or anything, just gathering with your friends.

4) Little message from your s/o.

Cards : 9 of Swords reversed, 3 of Wands, 8 of Cups reversed.

They think about you, a lot. They see you as someone smart, funny, and a little bit SPICY. They love you so much - the song Electric Love comes to mind

5) What your s/o thinks about you *when they get to know you ofc*

Cards : King of Swords reversed, 4 of Pentacles, 10 of Swords reversed

Like you're their wish, the thing they've been waiting and hoping for - FOR A LONG TIME. Maybe manifesting you just they love you and don't want to let you go. They're worried you may not like them overtime to reassure them when you shift.

Phrases and numbers: "Get your head from between your legs", "MONEYYYY", Electric Love, Denki Kaminari, I wanna be your slave, Wii Tennis *game and song*, Shoto Todoroki, Katsuki Bakugou, Hanta Sero, Eijiro Kirishima, ADHD, 444, 222, 764

pile 3

How ya doin pile 3?? *bites lip*

Remember, this is a GENERAL reading so only take what you feel resonates. Check out the other piles if you dont feel like anything resonates. Some of you guys may have been drawn to pile 2 so check that one out too. TW: ABUSE/SELF-HARM, TRAUMA.

1) Why are you not shifting? (some advice)

Cards : The Tower reversed, Page of Cups, The Hierophant reversed.

Idk why but whenever I get the Hierophant card my throat starts closing up? Idk if you feel like someones choking you out sometimes, or something. You feel like everything is against you, please don't think that - that's the reason you aren't shifting. Something is falling apart in your life, maybe take a short break for your mental health.

2) What major steps can YOU take to advance in your shifting journey?

Cards : King of Swords, 2 of Wands, The Moon.

Embrace your power, you're like the most POWERFUL PERSON EVER!  Also try and talk to some tarot readers/ mediums and ask them what you should change in your habits. You're going to shift soon tho! Success is around the corner.

3) How do people see you in your dr?

Cards : 10 of Cups reversed, 5 of Wands reversed, Page of Wands.

This is from a sibling/co-workers perspective. You're not one to argue when people are wrong, rather rant how they were wrong to yourself later, someone who would talk to a wall. They look up to you and think you're pretty cool

4) Little message from your s/o.

Cards : Justice, 3 of Cups, 5 of Wands

They see you as someone who's cool and collected. You deserve the world and you bring everyone joy when you talk to them, you probably drink in your dr so you're a little bit COOCOO

5) What your s/o thinks about you *when they get to know you ofc*

Cards : 2 of Cups, The Empress, Death.

You're the only person they trust enough to rant to ;c Sorry that's adorable. They probably look down on themselves in one way or another, and you really help them with that. They see you as royalty, they'd do almost anything for you - LIKE LITERALLY SACRIFICE THEIR LIFE - BESTIE UR INTO ANGST STOP!!

Phrases and numbers : Eijiro Kirishima, ADHD, "I love you to the moon and back", Burn - Billie Eilish, Fire signs, firey personality, Katsuki Bakugou, Shoto Todoroki, Trauma, Triggers. 3, 333, 9, any multiple of 3 thats an odd number really, the Holy Trinity.

pile 4

FINALLY PILE FOUR!! YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW HOW LONG PICK A PILES TAKE GODDAMN!!! Remember, general reading - check out the other piles if nothing resonates!

1) Why are you not shifting? (some advice)

Cards : Queen of Swords, 4 of Cups, The Hanged Man reversed.

You're manifesting shifting, and that's great! You're just not really focusing on actually TRYING to shift! Maybe you're being selfish in some part of your life. Try encouraging other people and realize everything is more than just physical, everything has a spiritual side.

2) What major steps can YOU take to advance in your shifting journey?

Cards : Knight of Wands, 5 of Wands reversed, Knight of Cups, 10 of Swords.

Realize your pain isn't your own, another person can be going through a similar thing. Open up to others and realize you're strong - you're living rn and you're still pushing to shift, Some of you guys have been on this shifting journey for almost a year - it's going to pay off. The pain in your cr isn't going to last.

3) How do people see you in your dr?

Cards : Queen of Wands, 6 of Pentacles, 9 of Wands

People are jealous of you, especially girls/women. Maybe you're hot and they want you? Bestie I would fight them for u/hj. They have no idea how hard it is for you on the inside and when they find out - they'll be supportive - I promise so many people will be there to love and support you.

4) Little message from your s/o.

Cards : 9 of Pentacles reversed, Queen of Swords, 6 of Wands.

You're not much of a planner are you? You let fate decide. You rarely have weekend plans and you just let the Universe guys you. They love how free spirited and loyal you are. I think this is how you and your s/o agree on things, fate and sometimes the spirtual like mediums and shit.

5) What your s/o thinks about you *when they get to know you ofc*

Cards :  4 of Swords, Wheel of Fortune reversed,  2 of Cups

There was a small chance they would like you and you made it - a small chance you would make them as happy as they are with you - this is adorable. Best Friend - Rex Orange Country says "I want you to think about me at night" they def do - they think about you before they go to bed, dream about you and they don't even know why at first. They probably talk to their parents or siblings about you a lot like goddamn.

Phrases and numbers: Chasing Cars - Sleeping at Last. "A dreamer, that's who I am." Hope. "STOP! I'M NOT GIVING UP!" Aries, Scorpio, lovers, physical touch, hugs, kisses, parental issues, Shoto Todoroki, "They're a little rough around the edges", "People think shes {they're} a sadist." Satan, the Devil, Dieties, Shaking, Panic Attacks in Paradise - Ashnikko, Raven method, bird watching, "Go with the shots", Chance, Halloween night, 31st, 13, 17, 7

Thank you for coming all the way down here! I hope you're enjoying your shifting journey and like - all the piles are pretty close to shifting!

[solarwoniii]

are you open to talk about junhyeon btw I miss my boy

BOYFRIEND HEADCANNONS kum junhyeon

fluff, angst ! all sfw

a/n ; uhm HELLO yes ofc always I MISS HIM TOO BESTIE 😖 I HOPE U LIKE THESE BAEEE THANK YOU FOR UR ASK my junhyeonnie is so very dear to me 💞

fluff headcannons !

♡ his favourite place to go on date night ;

junhyeon loves going to amusement parks with you ! taking you on all the rides and helping you face your fears :(( ofc if you really don't want to do it, he won't force you, but he'll be really excited if you do agree to it.

if he notices you begin to tense up or get scared he'll hold your hands to help you calm down </3 ... and then he'll suddenly get really worried about you and start panicking 'are you okay? yes? are you sure? yes? no you're not. stop lying. we don't have to do this, you know? are you sure you're okay? are you sure? do you wanna get off? we can get off. it's okay, here, i'll call the rollercoaster man. UUUUNCLE-'

and then you'll scream at him to shut up because you don't want (him) to be an inconvenience to that poor uncle.

afterwards he'll buy you cotton candy and corndogs and pizza and whatever other food he can find. when you're finished with you entire feast he'll take you on something less scary like the carousel or the ferris wheel because you've been so brave and he's proud of you (AAAAAAAAAA)

♡ his favourite way to rizz you up ;

FIRST OF ALL i want to preface this thought by making the point that junhyeon is NOT GOOD AT FLIRTING AT ALL and is constantly the one falling for your traps and turning into an adorable, sweet, shy, blushing tomato.

but the very few times he is able to catch you off guard are always the sweetest, most unexpected moments with him. like mentioned before, holding your hands when you're afraid or anxious, reassuring you by telling you that everything will be okay and reminding you that he's always here. although he doesn't intend for it, you do end up getting a little shy at such kind little gestures, and that gets him all smiley and teasing.

'are you embarrassed? ha! i told you i could be rizzy!'

♡ his favourite way to drive you crazy ;

taking his food out three seconds before the microwave counter ends. (IS IT EXTREMELY SPECIFIC ?? YES. BUT WOULD HE DO IT ?? ALSO YES.)

he would make sure to do it when you're watching just to piss you off even more. watching closely and waiting for the timer to go down to five seconds, before quickly getting your attention.

'y/n! y/n! look, look, look!'

'junhyeon, what the hell do you- OH MY LORD'

and then you chase him around the house with a spatula until he's screaming and yelling apologies at you and saying he'll never do it again (and then proceeds to do it again later that day)

♡ his favourite cuddle position ;

spooning ! spooning !!! SPOONING !1!1!!111!!11!1

so this begs the question . . . is junhyeon the big spoon or the little spoon ? to me, it depends. some days, he's feeling all warm and fuzzy and clingy and just wants for you to hold him close <33 and other days, he's feeling JUST CLINGY and he doesn't want to let you go.

he's definitely the type to cuddle you with a million plushies. plushies on top of you, surrounding you, beside you, wherever. the collection of plushies the two of you have has grown extremely, because you're always giving each other gifts (T^T)

♡ his favourite spot to kiss ;

your shoulders. i think because he loves hugging you so much, from the front, from the side, from the back, EVERYWHERE, he's gotten himself used to only being able to reach your shoulders to kiss. and he loves it.

he also really likes your cheeks. he finds them so cute and he can never stop himself from kissing all over them <3<3

junhyeon definitely loves kissing you everywhere, though. he's so in love with you and every single thing about you, he has no complaints.

angst headcannons !

♡ arguing with junhyeon ;

would be really rough :(( i feel like junhyeon is definitely the type to get really upset with himself whenever he hurts you, so he'll try to distance himself so he doesn't do it again. he doesn't realise that by doing that, he's only making it worse between the two of you, so now it's escalated into an argument.

he makes sure he's thinking about every single thing he's saying so that he doesn't upset you again. this makes him really quiet when you're arguing, which annoys you a lot 😭

'why aren't you responding to me? i'm trying to have a conversation with you junhyeon! you're always avoiding me these days, it feels like i don't even exist to you!'

hearing that come from you makes him really sad :( he doesn't want you to think that way at all because to him, you're his entire world and he never wants to be apart from you.

if you end up getting so heated that you begin to cry, i think he'll just feel so horrible and try to hug you and apologise :((( telling you he's sorry and that he loves you so so much </3

♡ relationship breaks with junhyeon ;

'junhyeon, i think we need a break.'

i think junhyeon may actually break completely at those words.

he'd never intended to hurt you so much, and now that he realises the gravity of the situation he wants to cry.

of course he won't stop you. if a break is what you want, who is he to stop you? but he will feel horrible the whole time the two of you are apart, only able to think about you and how he's going to make this up to you :((

whenever he's out with friends he's completely spaced out, and wherever he goes, he sees things that remind him of how much he loves and cherishes you, and he regrets every wrong thing he's done.

♡ making up with junhyeon ;

when the two of you finally make up he's so happy and relieved that it's over :( he apologises with hugs and gifts and kisses and lots and lots of 'i love yous,' LITERALLY WILL NOT LET YOU GO 😭😭

he'll take you out to get your favourite food for dinner that night and do whatever you want to do :((( he may (WILL) break his bank account taking you out though because he ends up buying you even more gifts and your favourite snacks at the gas station

★ to conclude, junhyeon is the sweetest, kindest, most amazing boyfriend ever and he is so crazy in love with you. look after him and make sure you remind him about how much you love him ♡

★ my perm taglist ; @hunbun07 @metalchick529 @chewryy ! if you are interested in my blog and would like to be added to my perm, shoot me an ask !

[dramioneasks]

Hi! I was wondering… is there any fic where Harry is really possessive of Hermione it can be just a possessive friend or secret crush and when he learns about dramione things go nuclear (?) or something like that.

THANK U 🤍

The Phoenix Potion by FedonCiadale - T, 111 chapters, Words: 237,679 - Twenty years after the battle of Hogwarts…. Harry is head auror and is worried about cases where Muggleborn children meet with accidents, Ron is a famous Quidditch keeper. Both haven’t talked to Hermione for ages and certainly not to her husband, Draco Malfoy. Narcissa Malfoy struggles with a curse, and Neville and Luna try to stay friends with all. The key to solving the problems may lie in the past, a time nobody really wants to revisit and some can’t.

Lost Souls of Nott Castle By: mezy - M, 44 chapters, Words: 125,761 - Everyone lost something in the war. Some of them lost everything. Hermione had nothing left. No family. No friends. Until she finds everything she ever needed amongst the most unlikely of people. Together they will face adversity, battle inner demons and navigate their futures. Rated M, EWE, Friendship, Romance, Action, Mystery, Dramione

Broken by inadaze22 - E, 37 Chapters - Draco felt something close to pity for the woman in front of him. While that disturbed him to no end, what really disgusted him was the fact that something had broken Hermione Granger’s spirit beyond recognition.

His Favourite Muggleborn by FranceHufflepuff - M, 15 chapters - 2004. Harry Potter could not help but stick his nose to where it doesn’t belong. He discovered that Hermione’s Slytherin friends had invented a powerful and advanced time-turner that could take someone back up to thirty years. He planned a raid at the Malfoy residence to confiscate it. He had a confrontation with a very angry Hermione Granger-Malfoy. A confrontation that led to an argument. An argument that led to yelling and fighting. And the exchange of spells led to her unconsciousness. She had travelled back in time and found herself in her childhood home with her parents, in her eleven-year-old self. She sobbed, realizing that she was no longer an adult, and Draco wasn’t around. She hated Harry Potter. After everything she did for him after she had forgiven him for abandoning her when she needed him the most, he still could not trust her judgment. He could no longer trust her, either, since she became friends with Slytherins and dated their schoolyard bully. She swore she wouldn’t be friends with him anymore. Not this time.

Once Lost but Found Again by Graendoll - E, 3 chapters - Draco left her bed in the middle of the night four months ago and they’ve been apart ever since. Frankly, he’s sick of it. *** “Draco Malfoy, stop behaving as though you’re an idiot. I know you have a brain in there. Please elect to use it.” “Good lord, Granger, are you ill? Did you just accuse me of having a brain?”

Familiar Taste of Poison - Shananigans10 - M, 12 chapters - Hermione, bookstore owner know-it-all is approached by the extremely wealthy and highly desired Draco in hopes that she will aid him with his research. Danger, uncertainty and passion ensues as Hermione is targeted by an unknown person who is threatening her very existance. Will she make it out alive? Dark!Harry non-con mentioned

The Promise By: JoJo4 - M, 16 chapters - Draco promised to return to Hermione, but two years later she has lost faith. When he finally he reenters her life, why is she left only with questions? Complete.

-Lisa

[roseworth]

you're the kyle authority on my dash so i figured i'd ask if u have a reading list or if there's a particular list you'd recommend 👀 or just what your fav/most recommended issues/arcs are for him in general

sobbing and crying i cannot be called a kyle authority because i have basically only read him in green lantern 1990 and countdown. and i read countdown before gl90 so i dont even remember how good his characterization was in that fhasdkjfhsajdf

BUT. that will never stop me from being annoying about him. gl90 is all i need i refuse to read anything else. heres a reading guide that has a lot of good stuff on it but uhh i havent read everything on that #lol

but some of my fav arcs/issues!!!! or just arcs that def should be read for him fhdskjdfs

green lantern 1990:

#50-55 (origin story <3 rip alex)

#58 & 59 (donnakyle brainworms)

#71-73 (he gets to have a fun silly time with other heroes yippee!!)

#76-77, & green arrow #110-111 (connorkyle brainworms)

#83-85 (FOAMING AT THE MOUTHHHHH I LOVE THIS ONE. YRRA!!!!!!!)

#94 (i just like his interactions with kon fhakdfjha its so sweet)

#96, green arrow #130, flash #135 (three of a kind arc my beloved)

#98-99 (this one is honestly just okay but also there are a couple moments in it that im obsessed with so it deserves to be recommended)

#113-114 (i really like a lot of the introspection with effigy so this arc can be rly nice as a treat)

#121-124 (trapped in a dream trope my beloved <3 also some good stuff at the end to finish marz's run)

#128 (roykyle brainworms)

#129-136 (starts off judd winick's run,,, irc theres some iffy stuff in these issues bc winick's a freak but theyre pretty good)

#143-150 (oh my fucking god. ION. greatest arc ever. do not read this first because you need the full context of his character to appreciate it. but once you read it itll change you forever)

#153 (this one is just adorable i love fhdakhfbdfa calm before the storm)

#154-155 (the storm. hate crime arc, very sad so tw for uhhh homophobic hate crimes. but its a good arc)

can i be honest i dont remember any of the rest of the issues really grabbing my attention. there are good moments (#157 my beloved) but no issues stand out hfksadjhfa

also i was so upset by the ending of this run the first time i read it. i have no problem with sad endings to stories but this one made me so upset and i still havent gotten over it. it ends with him losing all the friends he had on earth and going "well im off to space forever now" and i dont know why i reacted so terribly to it but i remember pouting about it for like 2 days

anyways outside of gl1990 i think green lantern: circle of fire is 1000000% worth reading (honestly i only read the first issue, the only with alex & kyle, and the last issue and i got all the important stuff). also completely unbiased and totally no ulterior motivation of new titans #126 (where he just happens to have a rly sweet interaction with rose.....)

i hope this helps u at all <3 i honestly recommend reading all of green lantern 1990 (or well. starting at #48) because its mostly really fun and has a lot of good moments <3333 and if anyone has more kyle recommendations please feel more than welcome to drop them

[jaaankiey]

leafpin headcanons, go.

ME WHEN... WHEN ANYBODY TELLS ME TO TALK ABOUT LEAFPIN !!!111!!!!!111111

jus a reminder that how i hc leafy and pin strays faaar from canon (i feel like a lot of ppl that come to this blog are already aware of that but i do be stressing this b/c i don't want to blindside people 💔)

sorry they are like my angry little meow meows, your honor

but CIRCLING back to the actual question here we go, the sheer LIST of headcanons that exist in my mind forever:

i mentioned it like numerous times but the height difference,,, leafy is tall while pin is short

related 2 above headcanon, but this means leafy is much faster than pin (because longer legs means longer strides). leafy often lets pin piggyback on her so they can get to places faster. a lot of other objects tend to also be taller than pin so leafy will like give her a bit of a boost there too.

leafy has a long mental list of silly pet names to call pin. not all of them make a lick of sense, but as stupid as these names get, pin just really enjoys them.

pin doesn't really use pet names for leafy other than leafster.

leafy goes through phases of interests on really random things. i had a silly oneshot planned where she gets super into horses and how silly they are as animals. typically, pin does her best to provide her girlfriend a lot of enrichment in these times even if that means sitting and listening to leafy's hourlong lecture about horse coat colors.

pin definitely has a hard time expressing or communicating her emotions because she is constantly set on "resting bitch face" mode. leafy always helps her put a name to what she's feeling.

they're big cuddlers. they always wake up in each other's arms (real)

speaking of sleeping, leafy takes all the blankets for herself because she gets cold easier. pin gets hot too easy so shes ok with it

leafy is literally the only one pin listens to wholeheartedly. to others, pin often just dismisses them or zones out entirely.

pin lets leafy win at tic-tac-toe as well as other games

in terms of their temperaments, leafy is much slower to anger compared to pin. this allows leafy to pacify pin whenever its needed

leafy is the only one able to read pin's absolutely HORRID handwriting

leafy is good at artsy stuff. pin isn't except for cartography stuff.

winter is a tough time for them. it's pin's favorite season because she can handle the cold easily, but its dampened by the fact that leafy goes through hibernation. it always turns out ok and she does it because there's not enough sun for her to be awake, but it REALLY stresses pin out. she's extra overprotective over her plant gf during this time.

pin comforts leafy when she's upset. she does it with lots of snuggles, compliments, and little treats to snack on. when leafy feels better, pin proceeds to beat up whoever made her sad in the first place.

pin has a bad habit of forgetting her own well-being. she WILL give up life and limb if it means leafy will be safe in the end. this affects all aspects of her life and leafy often has to sit her down so she can rest. this is especially very important whenever pin is injured or sick b/c she will absolutely not give herself enough time to heal.

leafy doesn't feel safe sleeping alone, she has to be next to pin or else she'll have some major sleeping troubles.

they just LOVE to gossip with each other. think the plastics in Mean Girls with their burn book. yeah, that, but only between them.

i could go on but i think the list is too embarrassingly long now 💔i hope u enjoyed these anon

[koskela-knights]

Ao3 Ask Game

Thanks @autisticwriterblog for the tag :D

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

542 but that's going to change to 543 soon I hope ;)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,498,254 words 😳😱

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At the moment I'm still obsessed with Alan Wake 2. Gonna hit 111 works for it soon 😏 Which is why I'll try to focus on those works and becos this is my Koskela blog after all :D

4. Top five fics by kudos

Lmao, it's all DBH xD Used to be very active in that fandomD but my Top 5 AW fics would be:

Jacket (Ilmo/Alan)

Minds Collide (Zaneling, my only Zaneling fic lol)

Curious Case(y) (Scratch/Casey)

Off trail (Ilmo/reader)

Bleeding Hearts (Ilmo/Alan)

Honestly, I'm mainly proud of the first and last piece here.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to reply to every comment! Honestly, it's cool when a little convo ensues from that ;) I also save all comments in my jar (a word file) to reread whenever I'm suffering from imposter syndrome/feel down about my writing 😅

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Pheew... That's a tough question. I've written a whole bunch of angsty Hanahaki fics and general angsty shit in multiple fandoms.

Many early AW2 fics center on the aftermath of Jaakko's death ;_; Maybe Kaleidoscope is one of the angstiest endings but certainly not the only one

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

In the romance category that might gonna be the Slow Roasting Love ending. But the Koskelas at Pride was very happy too. Again, it's not easy to choose becos of how many different situations I've written about :P

For a Koskela or Huotari/Reader fic, I'd like to say the historical Ilmari x transmasc Reader where they're in an arranged marriage but Ilmari's a closeted gay man and reader is a closeted gay transmasc person so in the end it works out perfectly for them 🥺😏 It has a smut tag but smut only happens in the last chapter. It's a slowburn fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I think only once. I'm surprised and glad it hasn't happened much :P

9. Do you write smut?

Lol, my very first fic on there was smut. Once a smut writer, always a smut writer 😏

10. Craziest crossover?

I have a few post-apocalyptic series with a big mashup of seemingly unrelated fandoms together.

One being about Libraries where characters from Resident Evil meet PoTF characters, OCs and even Rose from Alan Wake so 😂

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Thankfully not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Two of which one is published on ao3 too and the other on a Russian fan site :D Love when that happened 🙌🥰

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. However, the Echoverse has come to life thanks to many discussions and conversations with @zephyrone01 and @copiasmic who have helped flesh out that world and given me prompt fuels for some of the fics

14. All time favourite ship?

Tough one, for the AW world it would be CultCase.

Be it in the echo-verse or extended from there in other AUs 😏 And its 'variations' in Ilmari x Kesä. I love their tragedy across several AUs. Same reason I also love Jaakoppi x Kesä

And the third OTP would now be Tim/Jaakko which, again, was born from the Echoverse

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I once started writing a fic about the Koskelas and the Huotaris and the importance of stars and them trying to escape their tragic fate by astral projection.

16. What are your writing strengths?

🤔Maybe that I write multiple oneshots and make it a series. So you have this idea of a bigger world, without having to write one big overarching story or plot :P

Also, if i'm rly into a fandom and am hyperfixated, that creativity just flows abundant lol

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fight scenes. And believe it or not, sometimes I feel the smut isn't always as spicy as I want it to be xD especially if it's more than 2 people, that shit is tough to write. U don't want anybody neglected unless it's something a character is into 😂

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I love it, but it's definitely a challenge! I usually resort to/limit myself to some translated words.

So far I've written stuff with Spanish, Finnish or Dutch in it.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

It all started with The Evil Within back in 2014. I think you could see an improvement in my English as the years go on in fic writing :P

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Sticking to AW works.... I like multiple works lmao 😂 All for different reasons. I'd say the two series: YY but Different and the CultCase series. (I can't choose 1 fic 😭)

Some of those stories contained, are standalone oneshots, but all combined give you a vast look into these worlds.

One being about bisexual Kesä and his complicated relation with closeted Ilmari. And the relationships between him and Ahti and between the Huotari brothers and Ahti (WIP)

And then you have CultCase which also explores many interesting dynamics between characters 🥺

And both series have a lot of angst, but also some tenderness and softness in them. And smut 😏 Something for everyone can be found there

I tag @copiasmic @entropicquilibriumofchaos @changethecircumstances @juhospemmifer & others who might wanna join but no one's obliged to do these ofc

[starsinkpop]

congrats on 111! you deserve it dear 🤍 also thank you for the mini tarot reading game,, i love your readings and energy 🤍

hope this questions is alright to ask, i’d just like to ask how my fs is doing now^^ (if i have one xD) my big 3 is pisces sun and moon, cancer rising, nickname c 🌙

if energies aren’t well you may skip this question, it’s enough for me to know that you are appreciated as a reader in this community 🔮 thank u again and have a nice day!

Thank you for your nice words, love! Here’s your reading!

X The Wheel of Fortune (R)

Your future spouse could have a bad luck streak right now. Nothing seems to go the way they expect it too and they’re dealing with setbacks. It feels like they’re stuck in cycle. The struggles and obstacles they’re facing right now turn them into a rather pessimistic person. They could feel like life is holding them back from happiness and growth. It could also be that life is playing tricks on them lately, like forcing them to certain changes that aren’t welcome. But the energy I’m getting is more like them desperately waiting for changes in their life but nothing is happening. They could also be dealing with some gambling addiction that’s causing all those struggles.

Love, Nicky 🫧

Mini tarot game (please read before you join)

[slutnali]

3 Concepts and a Dare

tagged by mi amor @sweetlikesunflowersandhoney 💜💜

1. Do the dare of the person who tagged you in the game.

2. Write up three concepts* for a fic that you'd be interested in either writing or reading, but resist the temptation to write it before you've completed the tag game.

3. Come up with an easy dare that the ones tagged can do. Be nice!

4. Tag those writer friends of yours to do the game.

*You can do this in any way that you want, really. Like describing the world/setting the story would take place in, write a summary of this hypothetical fic, write a small blurb that gets the idea across, do it through headcanons... don't feel forced to do it in any one way.

1. I was dared to quote a line/paragraph/fragment from my own writing that I love, bonus points if I can say why I love it.

“So.. what’re your thoughts on the weather?”

He purposely uses the icebreaker and hopes against all odds she’d understand his humor and ridiculous attempt to fill the air between them and the hot tub jets.

Anetra knows it works in his favor as soon as he spots the smile forming on her lips paired with the shake of her head. 

“You’re dumb.”

I was rereading tripping, falling, with no safety net and smiling at it.. I loved how I captured the awkwardness and overthinking going on in Anetra's head! Not wanting to sit too far away but also would sitting too close to Sasha be weird? when they met not so long ago? Portraying the crush and admiration they have for one another, Sasha providing comfort when he's doubting his place in the competition. It was sweet and I've been thinking about cc sashnetra a lot recently since I've been rewatching season 15. I know what happens, I have their whole love story mapped out tbh. I just suck at sitting down and writing

2. Three concepts:

a. this is a wip i'm actually planning to write:

a/b/o sashmiranetra. married alphas anetra and sasha meeting sugar bb omega miri at an event where she was hanging off the arm of one of her clients. she's a pretty little thing, i dont blame them for being interested.

oh and masc dykenetra my utmost beloved

b. another wip i'm planning to write:

genv au and if u dont know what that is it's basically like sky high but set in college and some super fucked up shit going on. but anyway, bigender neech, blood bender sasha and mind manipulation miri. dont know who else im casting in the other roles.. maybe xu, morph, luxx... i dont know. still in a big planning phase. but rivals to protectors/teammates to lovers!!!!!!!!111

c. a concept thats up for grabs:

costume designer/seamstress neech x performer sasha and/or miri.. idk! just knowing that anetra makes a lot of her looks irl, so picturing neech as someone whose lost inspiration/motivation to create and design but then finding a muse in sasha and/or miri

3. the dare:

share a hc, fun fact or hidden gem from something you've written that you hoped readers would notice

4. tagging:

@goodemethyd , @hannahlovesdance07 , @adoordelano , @fuckyeah-dragrace

[ashtheva]

[UNDERSWAP] Quotes For Every Character

I went ahead and wrote some character quotes for every significant character in Underswap (Including some characters who never initially had any concepts.) Hopefully whoever ends up seeing this enjoys them! Some characters will also include headcanons (Which I will explain along with their personality as you read.)

I'm going by the logic that each character retains some of their personality, while still giving off a swapped vibe.

Temmie Quotes:

“h0i!!11!1 im temmie! Temmie da t3m!!1!”

“By my temmie fwakes for 1g!!!”

"Dey totez don't hurt u!!111! :3"

“BUY. THE DAMN. FLAKES!"

"In this world, selfish desires are the only solution!"

Asgore Quotes:

“Do not fret, dear fallen, as it is I, Asgore, Caretaker of the Ruins.”

“If I may ask, do you prefer Golden Flower Tea or Sea Tea? I am not sure if you've had them before, but choose the one that sounds most interesting to you.”

"Would you like to try a piece of pie? I'm... unfortunately not the best at baking, but I try!"

“I am sorry, dear child. As the Ex-King of the Underground, I shall see if you are worthy of the outside world.”

Mad Dummy Headcanon:

Considered "silent, but deadly." Doesn't speak just like the Ruins Dummy in UT, but still attacks you.

Mad Dummy Quotes:

"..."

"..."

"... >:("

Mettablook Quotes:

“You’re a fan.. of me? That’s flattering, darling.. But I’m just a nobody..”

“Oh, my..”

“Oh, how I wish to be a star, but the dream seems so far.”

Papyrus Quotes:

“greetings, i'm a totally ordinary human being.” (When greeting you w/ Groucho Glasses)

"call me frank, and to be FRANK with you, i'm happy i saw another human today." (Still wearing groucho glasses)

"nah, i'm just pulling your leg bones." (After taking them off)

“hello, the name’s papyrus, but you can call me papyrus.”

"guess you should put more BACKBONE into it."

"i don't have the GUTS to stop smoking. heh heh."

“uh oh. i suppose you’re gonna have a rather unpleasant experience.”

“don’t worry, in the end, i still believe in you.”

“you really thought i’d just stand there and eat it up?

how naive.”

“human, don’t smoke. It’s bad for you. we skeletons have no lungs, so we do what we want, you know?”

“junior jumble is way harder than crossword, amirite?”

"you really think crossword's better, brother? un. believable."

“YOU’RE JUST SPINELESS.”

“YOU’RE DEAD MEAT.”

Sans Quotes:

“I’M SANS. THE MAGNIFICENT SANS!”

“SERIOUSLY, BRO? YOU’RE SMOKIN' AGAIN?”

"THAT STUFF'S BAD FOR YOUR LUNGS, QUIT IT!" “I’M PRETTY SANS-ATIONAL, EH?” *audible wink.*

“MWEH HEH HEH!!!"

"YOU REALLY WANNA BE MY FRIEND?"

"LISTEN, I HAVE A TON OF WORK TO DO TODAY. A SKELE-TON!"

"HEH, I GUESS YOU'RE LAZIER THAN I THOUGHT, BRO."

"PAPYRUS, YOU'VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT. DON'T YOU THINK YOU NEED SOME REST?"

“I’LL STOP YA IN YOUR TRACKS, KID! I’M THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, AND I’LL CAPTURE YOU!”

“AND I SAID TO CAPTAIN ‘ALPH, YOU DON’T GOTTA BE SO ‘COLD BLOODED’!”

"HUMAN. TURN AROUND, AND FACE MAGNIFICENCE IN THE EYE SOCKETS!"

"i guess this is goodbye..."

"imma.. imma go home and take a nap i suppose."

Burgerpants Quotes:

“Hey there, little buddy! Care to try one of my burgers? I call ‘em smiley patties!”

“Be careful what you wish for, little buddy.”

"Once, I dreamed of becoming a famous actor.. But, I unfortunately aimed for something less ambitious, and got stuck here."

"I'm still staying hopeful though, never give up on your dreams! Stay positive!"

“Smoking? What do I look like, I run a burger shop for a stuck up robot? That's bad for your lungs, kid!"

Muffet Quotes:

“Papyrus, you gonna pay your tab soon?”

“Please, come again soon~!”

“I should introduce the both of you to my pet~”

"That's gonna be extra for the honey that you drink everyday, Papyrus!"

Asriel Headcanon:

Asriel is older than he is in Undertale.

Asriel Quotes:

“Howdy, Chara!”

“Don’t you think Alphys is so cool?”

“Let’s be friends!”

“Here, have this locket. A symbol of our friendship!”

Flowey Headcanon:

All of the Floweys are innocent and goofy, but speak normally. The Flowey replacing Bob would be named Rob, (to reference an Underswap co-host who went by "Coastrobbo") who speaks like Undertale Temmie. Each Flowey has a distinctive personality.

Flowey Quotes:

“Howdy! I’m Flowey!”

“Hoi!!11! im rob!!”

“Look, I have a sprout!! I’m such a proud parent!”

“DIE.” *insert struggling to wrap around Chara.* “Nevermind..”

Alphys Headcanon:

Alphys is often insecure about the way she looks at times, but she deals with it, it helps with intimidation. She still stutters due to having a speech impediment, not due to shyness or nervousness.

Alphys Quotes:

"Y-You'll have to try harder to beat me than t-that, human!"

"Oh my god, Mew Mew Kissy Cutie is on right now!!"

"O-Oh, that Dr. Undyne person? S-She's.. so cute!"

"Darn it! I'll keep you at bay with a ton of lightning strikes if I need to!"

"I-I'm always afraid of hurting people with my insane strength, or scaring them with the way I look..."

"I'm done hiding, I'm coming right for you, human!"

Regular / Ruins Dummy Headcanon:

Regular Dummy can speak, and fights you out of boredom rather than getting angry. They leave rather rude/snarky remarks towards Chara. Their attacks consist of boring things. (Idk, like dust particles, newspaper articles n' junk.)

Regular / Ruins Dummy Quotes:

"You really don't know how to keep a guy entertained, do ya?"

"You're boring me here, buddy.."

"I'm out, you're too boring."

"Wow, didn't see that attack coming, again."

"Are all humans this bland?"

Undyne Headcanon:

Less shy than Undertale Alphys, she more so just likes to keep to herself. She's nerdy and she likes to keep her things organized.

Undyne Quotes:

"Please, don't mess with any of my stuff, I worked hard to keep them organized."

"Hey, human! I'm Dr. Undyne, the Royal Scientist of TORIEL."

"Well my schedule is r-ruined now, hope you're happy..!"

"I installed a totally cool bomb-defuser thing on your phone, try it out!"

“Anyways, uh.. You want some soda?”

“Anime is amazing, I absolutely LOVE Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2! I love it for it’s more mature themes!"

"

Napstaton / Napstablook Quotes:

"WHY DON'T WE GIVE THE HUMAN A TRADITIONAL WELCOME, DUDES?"

"LET'S GET THIS STREAM ON THE TRACKS!"

"REALLY NOT FEELIN' UP TO IT RIGHT NOW. SORRY."

"YOU KNOW I'M AN IMPENETRABLE ROBOT, RIGHT? HERE, I'LL JUST PRETEND YOU BEAT ME..” **DIAL UP SOUND NOISES, ERROR SCREEN.**

"SOMETIMES I LIKE TO RELAX ON THE GROUND AND LISTEN TO SAD MUSIC WHILE FEELING LIKE GARBAGE. IT'S A FAMILY TRADITION, BUT I DON'T DO IT AS OFTEN NOWADAYS."

"GET ANY QUESTIONS WRONG ON MY SURVEY, AND YOU'LL BE.. uh, eradicated? uh.. HAHA, YES, UH, ERADICATED!"

"oh.................. you flipped my switch."

"I totally feel up to it now, dudes!"

"I'll punch you with these awesome arms!"

Grillby Headcanon:

Grillby can speak, but just chooses not to. He has a Heat's Flamesman who says whatever he might be thinking on his shoulder.

Grillby Quotes:

"..."

"..."

"..."

Heat's Flamesman: "The boss thinks you should buy his food, OR ELSE!"

"...You're in debt, human. You owe me your soul."

Nice Cream Guy Headcanon:

Nice Cream Guy hates his life. He works in NTT's radio station room and does the sound work. He doesn't necessarily hate Napstaton, he just finds him obnoxious at times. He has a lisp, and is made fun of the way he says ice cream, "Nice Cream"

Nice Cream Guy Quotes:

“What do you need now, Naps..?”

“OH!!! Someone came to see me?”

“I’m always made fun of for the way I say ‘Nice Cream’, I have this dumb lisp.”

"Want some advice? Don't be like me. I gave up trying to own my own Nice Cream shop long ago, now look where I am in life."

Catty & Bratty Quotes:

"We're like.. SO hyped to capture you and stuff."

"Hi, my name's Catty, and this is my rival, Bratty!"

"Hi, my name's Bratty, and this is my rival, Catty!"

Catty: "Really, will ya stop finishing all of my.."

Bratty: "SENTENCES?! I think not!"

RG01 & RG02 Headcanon:

RG01 & RG02 own the shop dump. They resemble typical video game nerds who review Video Games (e.g. Nostalgia Critic and AVGN), they're still a couple and bicker about their favorite games.

RG01 & RG02 Quotes:

RG01: “Dude, like, we both know that Deltatale is better than Underrune!

RG02: “Really, brah? You have no taste.”

Toriel Quotes:

"My child, would you perhaps like a piece of pie?"

* Toriel stands silent as if she doesn’t want to do this, but she must.

MK Quotes:

"Yo, dude! It's me. Your best friend!"

Frisk Headcanon:

Frisk does not speak. They communicate using sign language. Frisk will stand there silently, and randomly jump scare you before everything goes black.

Frisk Quotes:

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

RANDOM JUMPSCARE.

Riverperson Quotes:

"Tra la la.

I heard the old song from the sea.

It was chanting towards me.

It drowned me in… darkness.

As if I have reached the bottom of the ocean.

I yelled… and I yelled.

But no one heard me."

??? Quotes:

"✋︎ ✌︎💣︎ ✌︎☠︎ ⚐︎☼︎👎︎✋︎☠︎✌︎☼︎✡︎ 👍︎✋︎❄︎✋︎☪︎☜︎☠︎📪︎ 👌︎🕆︎❄︎ 🏱︎☜︎⚐︎🏱︎☹︎☜︎ 👍︎✌︎☹︎☹︎ 💣︎☜︎ ✌︎ 💣︎✌︎☝︎✋︎👍︎✋︎✌︎☠︎📬︎"

"❄︎☟︎☜︎ 👍︎⚐︎💣︎☜︎👎︎✋︎✌︎☠︎ ✌︎💧︎😐︎☜︎👎︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎ 👍︎☼︎⚐︎🕈︎👎︎ ✋︎☞︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎✡︎ 🕈︎✌︎☠︎❄︎☜︎👎︎ ❄︎⚐︎ ☟︎☜︎✌︎☼︎ ✌︎ ☺︎⚐︎😐︎☜︎ ✌︎👌︎⚐︎🕆︎❄︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎ 🏱︎☜︎☼︎✋︎⚐︎👎︎✋︎👍︎ ❄︎✌︎👌︎☹︎☜︎📬︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎✡︎ ☼︎☜︎🏱︎☹︎✋︎☜︎👎︎ ❻︎☠︎✌︎❼︎📬︎"

"👌︎☜︎🕈︎✌︎☼︎☜︎ ⚐︎☞︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎ 💣︎✌︎☠︎ ✋︎☠︎ ❄︎☟︎☜︎ 👌︎⚐︎✌︎❄︎📬︎"

Annoying Dog (PopcornPr1nce) Quotes:

"Bork!"

Hatsune Miku Quotes:

"Why am I even here?"

"What's an Udderwasp?"

"I am nothing more than a simulation."

[max--phillips]

Alright, kids, my unhinged data gathering about EVs has culminated in a google sheet that is now, to the best of my knowledge, complete. I have looked at every active car manufacturer in the US, their EVs (if they have any), their plug-in hybrids (if they have any) (also, referred to as PHEVs), their base price, their max price (meaning, I went in to their build function and added all the shit to it I possibly could), their minimum range, maximum available range, and the type of vehicle. For PHEVs, this included electric-only range, total range, and MPGe (miles per gallon equivalent).

You can visit the Google sheet where this information lives here. Edit from June of 2024: the Google sheet is currently unavailable, sorry!

First of all: Why the hell did I do this?

Great question. I got passed on the road about a month ago by a pack of Lucid Air test drive vehicles. It was a rare instance of me not recognizing a vehicle--I literally work with them every day to make a living, and I consider myself to be pretty acquainted with the available auto manufacturers in the US. So, I looked them up, and it's a new EV brand, which might be a good thing vis a vis bringing more players to the market and all that jazz... but their base MSRP is fucking $87,000. I got so mad about the fact that manufacturers just keep bringing luxury EVs to the market and not like, consumer-level, reasonably priced EVs that I decided to compile this list of information to... well. To be fair I don't know what I was hoping to accomplish with this. At most, prove a point, I guess?

With that out of the way... what did we learn from this?

No more electric SUV options. Society has progressed past the need for more electric SUV options.

I compiled information on a grand total of 40 current EV models, 43 future EV models, 35 current PHEV models, and uh... 2 future PHEV models. Of those, 34 current EVs, 26 future EVs, 23 current PHEVs, and 1 of the future PHEVs were SUVs. That's 70%. Meanwhile, we have (in all four categories) 1 lone cargo van/work vehicle, 10 coupes, 8 pickup trucks, 1 hatchback, 1 minivan, 29 sedans, 3 wagons, and 1 microbus (VW ID. Buzz my beloved). And listen, don't get me wrong: SUVs are great. They're versatile (the U in SUV is for 'utility' after all!) and they're filling the niche that minivans once did, but damn, 70% of the market? Come ON guys. We're more interesting than that, I hope.

Are you not rich? Want an EV? Too bad.

The average base MSRP for an EV in the US right now is $65,556. Are you kidding me? The average base MSRP for the future EVs I found information on is $86,377. The PHEVs include some performance/ultra-luxury brands because of the fact electric motors provide a lot of torque and are desirable in some performance vehicles, so even taking those out, the average base MSRP of a PHEV is $63,442.

The superlatives

Current EVs

First, the good superlatives:

Lowest base MSRP & max price both go to the Chevy Bolt EV, ranging from $26,500 to $34,000. (sedan, range around 259 miles)

Highest range (unfortunately) goes to the Lucid Air, the vehicle that started me on this whole thing. The minimum range is 410 miles, which is the highest minimum range available. The maximum range is 516 miles, blowing the Tesla Model S extended range out of the water by 111 miles. (sedan, price ranges from $87,400 to $249,000).

Now, the bad superlatives

Highest base MSRP goes to the Audi RS e-tron GT, at a whopping $143,900. This beats our highest maximum price model's base MSRP by $2,700. (sedan, range around 232)

Highest maximum price goes to the Porsche Taycan Sport Turismo and Cross Turismo at $304,000. Fun fact: $30,000 of that maximum price is for custom paint. (wagon, range from 222-235 miles)

Lowest range goes to the Mazda MX-30 with a measly 100 miles of range. The next lowest range, the Ford E-Transit, a cargo van, gets 108! This vehicle is currently only available in California. (SUV, price ranges from $34,110 to $43,000)

Current PHEVs

Good superlatives

Highest electric only range goes to Land Rover, both the Range Rover and the Range Rover Sport, with 51 miles. (SUV, MPGe for both is 42, total range for both is 480, price for the Range Rover Sport ranges from $118,200 to $159,000, and price for the Range Rover Sport ranges from $142,575 tp $170,000).

Highest total range, best MPGe, AND lowest base MSRP goes to the Toyota Prius Prime, with 640 miles of total range and a whopping 133 MPGe. Its base MSRP is $32,350. (sedan, electric only range is 44 miles, maximum price is $50,000)

Lowest maximum price goes to the Kia Niro, which will only let you spend $44,000 on it. (SUV, base MSRP $33,840, electric only range 33 miles, total range 560, MPGe 108)

Bad superlatives (a lot of ties for this one, folks)

Worst total range: a tie between the BMW XM and the MINI Countryman, both at 300 miles. (BMW XM: SUV, 30 miles electric only range, 46 MPGe, costs between $159,00 and $186,000. MINI Countryman: Sedan, 17 miles electric only range, 73 MPGe, costs around $41,000)

Worst electric only range is a tie between the Ferrari 296 and Ferrari SF90, both at 15 miles. I have thoughts (derogatory) about these models, but I'll save them. (both coupes; both 330 miles total range; 296 gets 47 MPGe, SF90 gets 51 MPGe. Base MSRP for the 296 is $237,500. I'll get to the SF90 in a moment,)

Worst MPGe goes to the McLaren Artura at 39 MPGe. (Coupe, 330 total range, 19 miles electric only range, base MSRP $237,500)

The highest listed maximum price goes to the Porsche Panamera E-Hybrid, at $295,815. (Sedan, 19 miles electric-only range, 480 miles total range, 52 MPGe, base MSRP is $109,000.)

The highest base MSRP goes, once again, to the Ferrari SF90 at $524,815. Just reading that number hurts me.

Finally, a five-way tie for the most likely to have the highest actual maximum price, because they're cowards and don't put their pricing on their websites. These are the Ferrari SF90, the Ferrari 296, the Bentley Flying Spur, the Bentley Bentayga, and the McLaren Artura. (Bentley Flying Spur: Sedan, 26 miles electric-only range, 500 miles total range, 46 MPGe, base MSRP $217,525. Bentayga: SUV, 29 miles electric only range, 448 total range, 45 MPGe, base MSRP $200,025).

I'm not going to do any superlatives for future vehicles because I don't want to jump the gun on any judgements. Plus, with some of them the MSRPs are just like... educated guesses. Anyway, I have the whole google sheet here if you wanna poke around.

What conclusions can we draw from this?

I appreciate that the US wants to regulate new car sales sooner rather than later to encourage new EV sales in an attempt to be more environmentally friendly. However, until the average price for a new EV comes down significantly, more and more people are going to be in the used car market whether they want to be or not. Beyond that, we simply do not have the infrastructure for this. There are gas stations on damn near every corner, but the closest charging station to me is 2 miles away, and even that's a Tesla Supercharger, so it's only useful if you have a Tesla. The closest non-Tesla charger is 4 miles away. Sure, you can plug it in at home, but in order for that to be done at more than a snail's pace, you need to have it specially installed which is an additional cost that people may not be able to afford.

Additionally, it's interesting to me that being environmentally friendly is still such a huge privilege that's seemingly marketed towards wealthy people, yet huge corporations and the ultrawealthy people actually polluting our planet continue to offload the blame onto poor people for using single use plastics. It's a bizarre paradox.

In conclusion, car manufacturers need to get their shit together so more people can buy EVs at a price that isn't insane. Thank you goodbye

[gutsfics]

Tobias should have been a canon LI. Where is the Open Heart Book 3 rewrite that the we need? If someone ever kickstarts this project ILW style, I will be the first to donate. I was rereading the series. I got to Book 3 and I had to stop. The characters deserved better. The series deserved so much better. The Open Heart fandom deserved better. There was so much more that PB could have done with the characters if they cared about the player experience. OH was one of Pixelberry's best series and they let it die in the most disappointing way possible. Anyone who is willing to give the story a better ending deserves the Choices fandom's support. It's been ages since we have had a real romance arc on this app.

im fine w Tobias not being a canon LI as i personally headcanon him as aromantic & have him in a queerplatonic relationship w my LOA mc, Reigan, but like other than that HUGE agree

and now i'm gonna use this ask as a reason to talk about what all i would change of book 3 lmao thank u <3

so first of all, there's really no reason for Harper to be part of the diagnostics team besides "whoah oh noeses Ethan is talking with his ex whoopsie oopsie i hope he doesn't fall back in love with her!!!!!1!!111!!!" (which goes nowhere, iirc MC doesn't ever talk really to him about their jealousy) and a few nice friendship moments between her and MC when Tobias and Ethan are being dumb at each other (like when you can choose to side w either E or T during an argument OR ask Harper if she wants to get coffee- i genuinely love that part so much). so i would change it so that instead of the opening on the diagnostics team being because Baz is leaving (which also had no reason to happen), but because Ethan took too long to find a replacement for June

imo it would have been more interesting if Bloom had used Ethan taking the whole 3-month closure of Edenbrook to decide on a new team member as an excuse to try and get more hands on with the DT. so like right after Ethan, Baz and MC sit down the first day back he should have just showed up w Tobias & made that new rule about voting on cases. i did like the feud between Bloom and Ethan though, the writers just majorly dropped the ball there. and kept dropping it the whole book.

I'd also remove all of the parts where the MC just straight up ditches work to go play with their friends. it felt so wrong that the MC fought so hard to get to the place where they're at just for them to blow of work every five seconds bc Jackie and Sienna want to go shopping or Bryce wants to drive a fancy car or whatever. or i'd like change it so it happens on days off or after their shift is over.

+ the diamond scene in ch1 where MC and their friends are enjoying all of the amenities that Bloom added for employees, I would have loved the option to be more wary of them, a lot of them seemed like a distraction, like the video games in the breakroom

like imagine ur surgeon being late to ur life-saving surgery bc they were too busy playing mario kart or whatever

i would say there should have been another Big Important Disaster but honestly Rafael has already been through enough with the first two book's Big Disasters being somewhat focused on him

also the fuckin uuuuuuh. patient suing Ethan over medical malpractice plotline?

100% should have been Ethan's fault.

having Naveen actually be the one who did it feels kinda.... racist??? a little bit????? like god forbid PB's Specialest White Boy do something wrong and face the consequences for it

i have more qualms with this book but i am gonna be honest: i straight up do not remember most of the book. it was such a nothing end to such a good series

i did like being able to do that team building exercise w jackie's group. Dr Gary Garison, my beloved, i'm so glad i got to see you for one single scene this whole book