#hope they do other things against that wall too

[the-winter-spider]

I miss you, I'm sorry

Bucky x Reader AU

Word Count: 10k+

Warnings: Toxic, angst, smut

A/N: I love Gracie, and was like fuck it gonna toss something together based off my fav songs by her

The air feels heavy, even though the room is quiet. You sit cross-legged on your bed, your phone resting beside you, the screen dim and blank. The minutes bleed into each other, but you can’t stop glancing at the clock, as if willing it to rewind to before it all.

It’s been three days. Three days of no texts, no calls, no nothing. That’s how it always goes with Bucky. He’s there, and then he’s not. And every time, you tell yourself it’ll be the last time you wait for him to come back.

It never is.

You hate him for how easy it is to disappear. You hate yourself more for letting him.

The phone rings.

The sharp sound cuts through the haze of your thoughts, and for a moment, your heart skips. You snatch the phone up, seeing his name flash across the screen. The sight of it sends a rush of relief, anger, and something softer, something stupidly hopeful, all at once.

You answer, but don’t say anything.

“Hey.” His voice is quiet, gravelly. Tired.

You swallow the lump in your throat. “Hey.”

The silence stretches, brittle and uncomfortable. You can hear him breathing on the other end, steady and soft. It reminds you of the way his breath felt against your skin the last time he stayed over, the last time he let himself get too close before pulling away again.

“I shouldn’t have called,” he mutters finally, his voice tight. “I just… couldn’t sleep.”

You close your eyes. There it is again, the push and pull. The way he says he shouldn’t but always does. The way he drags you back into his orbit every time, knowing you’ll stay.

“What do you want, Bucky?” you ask, keeping your voice steady. It’s a question you’ve asked a hundred times, and you already know the answer.

He exhales sharply, like he’s frustrated—at you, at himself, you’re not sure. “I don’t know.” Another pause. “You were right, okay? About everything. I just…” His voice trails off, and you can picture him sitting on the edge of his bed, rubbing the back of his neck the way he always does when he’s trying to find the words. “I hate this.”

“Hate what?” you snap, the simmering frustration bubbling to the surface. “Hate that you always come back? Or hate that you can’t figure out what the hell you want?”

He doesn’t answer. He never does when you call him out like this.

The silence makes your chest ache. You shake your head, even though he can’t see you. “You can’t keep doing this, Bucky. You can’t keep pulling me back just to push me away again. It’s not fair.”

“I know,” he whispers. And he sounds so broken, so genuine, that it cracks something inside you. It always does.

You take a shaky breath. “Then why do you do it?”

“I don’t know,” he says again. His voice is quieter now, softer, like he’s afraid of breaking you more than he already has. “Because you’re the only thing that feels real. And I don’t know how to hold onto it without screwing it up.”

Your throat tightens. You wish you didn’t understand. But you do. He’s always been good at giving you just enough to stay, but never enough to feel whole. “Its not enough Buck”

“I know,” he says, his voice breaking slightly. “But it’s all I’ve got, you're all i truly have."

You sighed running your head through your hair “Do you wanna come over?”

“I’m already on my way”

You don't have to wait long. The sound of his motorcycle pulling up to your place makes your stomach do a little flip, even though you're still mad at him. You hear his heavy boots on the stairs, and then a soft knock at your door.

You take a deep breath before opening it. He's standing there, his hair tousled from the ride, his face tight and tired. He looks at you, and for a moment, it's like all the walls come down. He reaches out, cupping your face with his hand, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone.

"I'm sorry," he says, his voice rough. "I'm so fucking sorry."

And just like that, you melt. You lean into his touch, your eyes fluttering closed. His other hand comes up to wrap around your waist, pulling you close. He smells like leather and cigarettes and something uniquely him.

"I missed you," he murmurs, pressing his forehead to yours. "I hate not seeing you."

"I hate it too," you whisper back. "But you can't keep doing this, Bucky. You can't keep hurting me."

He makes a soft, broken sound. "I know. I'm trying, okay? I'm really trying."

The door closes softly behind them, the click of the lock echoing in the charged silence. Bucky's hand is still cupping your face, his thumb tracing the curve of your cheekbone. You lean into his touch, your eyes fluttering closed as you breathe him in. He smells like leather and smoke, like home and danger all rolled into one.

You press yourself against him, feeling the hard planes of his body through his clothes. He's solid and warm and real, and it's been too long since you've felt him like this. His hands slide down to your waist, pulling you flush against him as he claims your mouth in a hungry kiss.

You moan into it, your fingers tangling in his hair. He kisses like your fights- fierce and intense, like he's trying to claim every inch of you. You kiss back just as fiercely, your tongue sliding against his as you lose yourself in the feel of him.

He walks you backwards towards the bed, his hands roaming your body as he goes. He breaks the kiss only to yank your shirt over your head, tossing it aside carelessly. His mouth is back on yours before you can even blink, his hands cupping your breasts through your bra.

You arch into his touch, your nipples hardening under his palms. He groans low in his throat, his hips pressing forward to grind against yours. You can feel his hardness through his jeans, and it makes you ache with need.

He breaks the kiss again, trailing his lips down your neck as his hands work to unclasp your bra. It falls to the floor, joining the growing pile of clothes. He takes a moment to look at you, his eyes dark with desire as they rake over your naked breasts.

"Fuck, you're beautiful," he murmurs, his hands cupping the soft mounds. You gasp as his thumbs brush over your nipples, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through you.

He leans down, taking one of the hardened peaks into his mouth. You cry out, your fingers tangling in his hair as he sucks and licks and nibbles. Your hips buck against his, seeking friction, and he groans around your nipple, the vibrations making you shiver.

He gives the other breast the same attention, lavishing it with kisses and bites until you're writhing beneath him. Only then does he move lower, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your stomach as he kneels before you.

His hands hook in the waistband of your jeans, tugging them down along with your panties. You step out of them, kicking them aside as he looks up at you from his knees. The sight of him there, kneeling before you like you're a goddess to be worshipped, makes your knees weak.

"Bucky," you breathe, and it's half plea, half prayer.

He grins up at you, a devilish glint in his eyes. "Patience, baby. I'm going to take my time with you."

And then his mouth is on you, his tongue delving between your folds to taste you. You cry out, your head falling back as pleasure crashes over you. He licks and sucks and teases, his hands gripping your hips to hold you in place as he devours you.

Your fingers tangle in his hair, holding him to you as he drives you closer and closer to the edge. Just when you think you can't take anymore, he pulls back, leaving you gasping and empty.

"Bucky, please," you whimper, and he chuckles darkly.

"Please what, baby? Tell me what you want."

"I want you," you pant, looking down at him with desperation in your eyes. "I want you inside me."

He stands up, pulling you flush against him as he captures your mouth in a searing kiss. You can taste yourself on his lips, and it makes you even more aroused. His hands grip your ass, kneading the flesh as he grinds his hardness against your bare core.

"Bed," he growls against your lips, and you nod frantically, tugging him towards the mattress.

You tumble onto the bed together, a tangle of limbs and desire. He breaks the kiss to sit up, yanking his shirt over his head and tossing it aside. You take a moment to admire the hard planes of his chest, the scars that crisscross his skin like a roadmap of his past.

He crawls back over you, his hips settling between your thighs as he reaches for his belt. You watch, transfixed, as he unbuckles it and shoves his jeans and boxers down, freeing him.

He settles back over you, his head brushing against your entrance. You shudder at the contact, your hips lifting to try and draw him in.

"Tell me you want this," he whispers, his voice rough with need. "Tell me you want me."

"I want you," you breathe, wrapping your legs around his waist. "I want all of you."

And with that, he thrusts into you, burying himself to the hilt in one smooth motion. You cry out at the sudden fullness, your nails digging into his shoulders as you adjust to the stretch.

He pauses for a moment, letting you get used to him. Then he starts to move, pulling out slowly before slamming back in. You meet him thrust for thrust, your hips rising to take him deeper.

The bed creaks beneath you as he sets a relentless pace, driving into you again and again. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room, mingling with your moans and his grunts of pleasure.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he groans, burying his face in your neck. "So perfect."

You clench around him in response, and he curses, his hips snapping forward harder.

"I'm gonna come," you gasp, your body tensing beneath him. "Bucky, I'm gonna-"

But he cuts off your words with a kiss, swallowing your cries of pleasure as you come undone beneath him. Your body spasms around him, milking him as he follows you over the edge with a hoarse shout of your name.

He collapses on top of you, both of you gasping for breath as the aftershocks of your orgasms roll through you. He presses soft kisses to your neck, your jawline, your lips as you bask in the afterglow.

"I love you," he murmurs against your skin, and you hope it's just not the sex talking.

Later that week, you’re sitting at a bar with Natasha. She watches you nurse your drink, her sharp green eyes narrowing as you tell her what happened.

“He called,” you say, staring down at the condensation on your glass. “And like an idiot, I picked up, and he came over, we had sex and he was gone in the morning”

Natasha doesn’t say anything at first. She just leans back, crossing her arms. “What do you want me to say?” she asks finally. “That he’s going to change? That this time will be different?”

You shake your head. “No. I just…” You trail off, struggling to put the feeling into words. “I just wish I didn’t miss him so much. I wish I could stop.”

She sighs, leaning forward. “Listen to me,” she says, her voice soft but firm. “He’s not going to fix this. You know that, right? He’s not going to wake up one day and suddenly figure out how to love you the way you deserve. That’s not who he is, you have to know that babe…"

“I know,” you whisper. But the ache in your chest doesn’t go away.

Natasha exhales deeply, tilting her head as if trying to decide whether to push further. Finally, she sets her drink down and leans across the table, her voice quieter but no less serious. “So, what’s the plan? You gonna keep answering when he calls? Keep letting him come over, screw you and your head, and leave like nothing happened?”

You don’t answer, just trace the edge of your glass with your finger. The truth is, you don’t have a plan. You’re not even sure you want one. “He said he loves me, he's never said that before”

Natasha leans back in her chair, crossing her arms as she studies you. Her sharp green eyes narrow slightly, but there’s no satisfaction in her expression. She doesn’t look impressed, doesn’t look relieved, like you’d hoped she might. Instead, her face softens, just slightly, in that way that means she’s about to say something you don’t want to hear.

“Okay,” she says slowly, her voice calm but pointed. “And what does that change?”

Her question hits like a bucket of cold water, and you blink at her, your fingers freezing mid-trace on the rim of your glass. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, so what?” Natasha continues, leaning forward now, her elbows on the table. “He said the words. Great. But what does that actually mean to you? Did it make you feel better? Did it fix anything?”

You open your mouth to reply, but no words come out. The truth sits heavy in your chest.

“It’s not enough just to say it,” Natasha presses, her tone still steady but with an edge of frustration. “Love isn’t just words. It’s showing up. It’s consistency. It’s choosing someone, not just when it’s convenient, but every single day. Did he do that? Or did he just say what you’ve been waiting to hear and then disappear again?”

The ache in your chest tightens, and you look down, your fingers clutching the glass like it might hold the answers you’re searching for. “He—he’s trying,” you say weakly, but even you don’t sound convinced.

Natasha lets out a breath, her voice softening again. “Babe… I know you want to believe him. I know you love him. But this?” She gestures vaguely, as if to encompass all of it—your tears, the late-night calls, the endless cycle. “This isn’t what love is supposed to feel like. Love doesn’t leave you questioning your worth every time the sun comes up.”

The words settle over you like a weight, and you swallow hard, blinking back the tears that threaten to spill. You don’t want her to see you cry. Not here. Not like this.

“Nat…” you start, your voice barely above a whisper. But she shakes her head, her expression soft but unyielding.

“I’m not saying this to hurt you,” she says gently. “I just… I want you to be happy. And you’re not happy right now. You haven’t been for a long time.”

Before you can respond, the stool next to her screeches, and Sam slides into it, his energy a stark contrast to the heavy atmosphere between you and Nat. He plunks his beer on the table and gives you a once-over.

“Well, you look like someone stole your puppy,” he says, his tone light but his eyes sharp.

Natasha shoots him a look. “Not the time, Sam.”

“I’m just saying,” he replies, leaning back and gesturing to you. “She’s been sitting here all night, looking like a sad indie song, and you’re just gonna let her wallow?”

You glare at him, the frustration bubbling to the surface. “Do you have something to say, or are you just here to make jokes?”

“Both,” Sam says, taking a sip of his beer before setting it down. “Look, I love you, but this thing with Bucky? It’s killing you, and everyone can see it. Hell, you can see it, but you’re still pretending like it’s gonna work itself out.”

“Sam,” Natasha warns, but he holds up a hand.

“No, let me finish,” he says, his voice more serious now. “I’ve been where you are, okay? Hanging onto something that’s breaking you because you’re scared to let it go. But you know what happens if you keep holding on?” He pauses, meeting your eyes. “You lose yourself. And I don’t want that for you.”

His words hit harder than you expect, and for a moment, all you can do is sit there, blinking back the tears threatening to spill.

“I don’t know how to let him go,” you admit finally, your voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t even know who I am without him.”

Sam leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Then it’s time to figure that out. Because you deserve better than waiting around for someone who doesn’t see how amazing you are—not someone who only comes around when it’s convenient for him.”

After Sam and Natasha head home, you find yourself walking through the quiet streets, your hands shoved into your coat pockets. The city hums around you, but you feel untethered, like you’re floating between who you are and who you want to be.

Before you realize it, your feet take you to Bucky’s building. You stop at the corner, staring up at the windows. The lights in his apartment are off, but you know he’s there. He’s always there.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out, your heart sinking when you see his name.

Bucky: You up?

The message is simple, familiar, and infuriatingly tempting. Your thumb hovers over the screen.

You: Yes, just leaving the bar.

Bucky: Ill see you in 20.

You see his light flick on.

You: Okay.

You’re sitting in your apartment with Steve. He’d shown up unexpectedly, a bag of bagels in one hand and a concerned look on his face. Now, he’s watching you carefully as you pick at your food, the silence between you growing heavier by the minute.

“I heard about last night,” he says eventually, breaking the stillness.

You glance up, narrowing your eyes. “Natasha?”

“Sam,” he admits with a small smile, but his expression stays serious. “He’s worried about you. We all are.”

You sigh, leaning back against the couch. “I’m fine, Steve.”

“You’re not fine,” he says gently, setting his coffee down on the table. “And it’s okay to not be fine. But you need to stop punishing yourself for wanting more than what Bucky can give you.”

Your chest tightens, and you look away, your voice barely audible. “He’s not a bad person, Steve. He’s just… broken.”

“I know he is,” Steve says softly, his tone patient but firm. “And I know he cares about you, even if he’s too scared to show it. But that doesn’t mean you have to keep hurting yourself to save him.”

You open your mouth to respond, but the words get stuck in your throat. Instead, you ask the question that’s been clawing at you for days. “Is he seeing anyone else?”

Steve freezes mid-bite, his jaw tightening. “Yes.”

You nod slowly, your hands trembling as you set your plate down on the coffee table. “Are they… are they having sex?”

Steve’s shoulders sag slightly, and he shakes his head. “No.”

The relief you feel is fleeting, quickly replaced by another ache—something deeper, sharper. “He told me he loves me, y’know,” you whisper, your voice cracking.

That makes Steve freeze completely. He sets his bagel down, staring at you with wide, startled eyes. “He said that?”

You nod, the words pouring out of you now, unfiltered and raw. “He’s never said it before. And I didn’t know what to do. Because it felt… real. For a second, it felt like maybe this time was different. But then he was gone the next morning, like always.”

Steve leans back in his chair, his brow furrowed, like he’s trying to process what you’ve just said. “Did he mean it?” he asks finally, his voice cautious.

You let out a bitter laugh, wiping at your eyes. “I don’t know, Steve. Does it matter? He says one thing, but everything else he does just…” You trail off, shaking your head.

“It matters,” Steve says firmly, leaning forward. “If he loves you, that’s something. But love isn’t enough if he can’t show it, if he can’t make you feel it.” Steve is quiet for a long moment, his expression pained. “You deserve more than that,” he says finally. “You deserve someone who’s not afraid to fight for you. Someone who doesn’t make you feel like you’re asking for too much just by being yourself.”

-----------

The music is loud, pulsing through the crowded bar in a steady rhythm that matches the pounding in your chest. You're friends are off dancing their cares away, while you sit at a small table near the corner, nursing your drink, half-hidden in the dim lighting. The condensation from the glass drips onto your hand, but you barely notice.

Your eyes keep drifting to him.

Bucky is across the room, his arm slung casually around another woman’s shoulders. She’s laughing, tilting her head toward him like he’s just told her the funniest joke in the world. He looks… relaxed. At ease in a way you haven’t seen in a long time, and it’s like someone’s taken a knife to your chest, twisting it deeper with every passing second.

You force yourself to look away, staring into the amber liquid in your glass like it holds answers to questions you’re too scared to ask. But it doesn’t work. Your gaze flickers back to him, almost involuntarily.

They’re dancing now, swaying to a song you don’t recognize. His hand rests lightly on her hip, his fingers brushing against the fabric of her dress in a way that feels too intimate, too familiar.

And then he kisses her.

Not on the lips, but on her head, his lips lingering against her hair as she leans into him. It’s tender, effortless, the kind of gesture that feels natural, like it belongs to someone who knows how to love without hesitation.

Your chest tightens, and you swallow the lump forming in your throat, forcing yourself to take another sip of your drink. The bitterness burns your tongue, but it’s nothing compared to the ache spreading through you.

You tell yourself you don’t care. That this doesn’t matter. That he’s made his choice, and it isn’t you.

But the truth is, it matters too much.

You drain the rest of your drink, the cold liquid going down in one sharp swallow. You set the glass down harder than you mean to, the dull thud lost in the noise of the bar.

You glance over at him one last time, just to confirm what you already know. He’s still there, his attention focused on her.

But then his eyes shift.

He sees you.

For a split second, your gazes lock across the room, and the weight of his stare pins you in place. His hand pauses on her back, and something flickers in his expression—guilt, maybe, or regret.

You can’t tell, and you’re not sure you want to.

The heat of his gaze follows you as you stand, slipping your bag over your shoulder and making your way toward the door. The noise of the bar fades into the background as you weave through the crowd, your footsteps quick and purposeful.

You don’t look back, but you can feel him watching you, his eyes lingering like a phantom touch that burns even after you’re gone.

The cold night air hits your face as you step outside, and you inhale deeply, trying to push the ache in your chest away.

But it stays. It always stays.

That night, you’re curled up on your couch, a blanket wrapped around you as the city lights flicker through the window. Your phone sits on the coffee table, dark and silent.

Until it’s not.

The screen lights up, and Bucky’s name appears. The voicemail notification lingers like a ghost, and your hand trembles as you reach for it.

You press play, his voice cracking through the silence.

“I know I’ve screwed this up. I know I don’t deserve another chance. But I miss you, and I don’t know how to do this without you. Please… just call me, I’m sorry”

-------

You find him outside on the balcony, leaning heavily against the railing, his shoulders hunched like the weight of the world is pressing down on him. The cold night air bites at your skin, and the faint glow of the streetlights below casts shadows that dance across his face. He doesn’t turn when you step out. He never does. That’s the thing about Bucky—he always knows you’re there, but he’s mastered the art of pretending not to.

The sound of the sliding door closing behind you feels final, like you’ve just stepped into a space you won’t come back from. Your arms wrap around yourself, a weak defense against the cold—or maybe against him—and you take a hesitant step forward.

“I thought you left,” you say, breaking the fragile quiet. Your voice wavers, as unsure as the ground you’re standing on.

He finally looks over his shoulder, his eyes heavy and rimmed with shadows. He looks wrecked. Tired in a way that no amount of sleep could fix. “Almost did,” he says softly, his voice barely audible over the distant hum of the city.

You step closer, your chest tightening at his words, at the way he doesn’t move, doesn’t shift to let you in. “Why didn’t you?”

He shrugs, turning back to the skyline, his fingers gripping the railing. “I haven’t heard from you all week.”

The ache in your chest sharpens at his tone, a flicker of hope you hate sneaking in despite yourself. It’s always like this: just enough vulnerability to keep you tethered. You stop a few feet away, the space between you feeling like a canyon, impossible to bridge.

“This isn’t working,” you say, finally voicing the thought that’s been clawing at you for weeks. “Whatever this is. It’s not working, Bucky.”

He doesn’t react at first, just keeps staring out at the city, like it holds an answer he’s too afraid to look for. When he finally speaks, his voice is low and rough. “I know.”

The simplicity of his admission steals your breath. It’s not that you didn’t expect it. You did. You’ve been here before, standing on the edge of this same cliff, waiting for the inevitable fall.

“So why are we still here?” you ask, your voice trembling, tinged with a desperation you wish you could hide.

He exhales, dragging a hand through his hair. The motion is frustrated, exhausted, like he’s tired of his own indecision. “Because I don’t know how to stop,” he admits, his words cutting through the night air with brutal honesty.

You take another step closer, close enough to see the tension in his jaw, the way his knuckles turn white as he grips the railing. “Bucky,” you say, your voice soft but breaking. “I need more than this. I need to know if you’re ever going to stop running every time things get hard. Because I can’t keep waiting for you to figure it out.”

He turns to face you then, his blue eyes locking onto yours. There’s something in them—something raw and fragile and so heartbreakingly familiar. For a fleeting second, you think this is it. The moment he’ll finally tell you what you’ve been waiting to hear.

But then he looks away, his jaw tightening. “I don’t know if I can.”

The nausea hits you like a punch, twisting your stomach into knots. You take a shaky step back, wrapping your arms around yourself like it might keep you from falling apart. “Do you even want to try?”

His silence is deafening, an answer in itself.

You let out a bitter laugh, the sound hollow and sharp. “You’re unbelievable,” you whisper, more to yourself than to him. “I’m standing here, practically begging you to tell me you care, and you can’t even do that.”

“I care,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “You know I care.”

“Do I?” Your voice rises, anger bubbling to the surface, breaking through the pain. “Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it. You say you care, but you act like I’m something you can pick up and put down whenever it’s convenient for you.”

“Stop,” he says, his voice suddenly firm, his eyes snapping back to yours. There’s something desperate in his tone, something pleading that makes your breath hitch. “I don’t… I don’t know how to do this.”

“No, Bucky.” You shake your head, your voice trembling with fury and heartbreak. “You just don’t want to. And there’s a difference.”

The words hang between you, heavy and suffocating. He opens his mouth, like he’s about to say something, but then he stops. His eyes dart back to the city skyline, and you see it—the war he’s waging with himself, the battle between what he wants and what he’s too scared to reach for.

“Say something,” you whisper, your voice cracking under the weight of the moment. “Say anything.”

“I’m seeing someone,” he says suddenly, his hands gripping the railing so tightly you half expect it to snap. The words hit like a freight train, knocking the air from your lungs.

The world around you tilts. Your hands tremble as you take a step back. “Of course you are,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. The bitter laugh that follows feels like it belongs to someone else. “I’m done.”

You turn toward the sliding door, your heart pounding so hard it feels like it might shatter. Your hand trembles as you reach for the handle, pausing for just a second, hoping—praying—he’ll stop you. That he’ll fight.

But the silence stretches on, heavier and colder than the night air.

When you glance over your shoulder, he’s still standing there, staring down at the city like he’s already let you go.

Your throat tightens, but you force yourself to slide the door open and step back inside. The warmth of the apartment hits you like a slap, but it does nothing to ease the chill in your chest.

The door slides shut with a quiet thud.

And Bucky doesn’t follow.

You’d just moved into a new apartment, one that wasn't tainted with all the places he'd touched, places he'd been. It made things easier it wasn't the reason for your move but it helped. Natasha had decided you were both done unpacking for the night so naturally she had dragged you to a party. Steve’s place, of course. The apartment was alive with the energy of too many people crammed into too little space. Natasha had disappeared into a circle of friends near the kitchen, leaving you to nurse your drink in a corner. That’s when you noticed him.

Bucky.

He was leaning against the wall, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Dark hair falling into his eyes, a leather jacket slung over his shoulder despite the heat of the crowded room. He didn’t see you at first, but when he did, his gaze lingered just long enough to make your pulse race.

You told yourself you wouldn’t approach him, but an hour later, you were pressed against the wall in Steve’s hallway, his lips trailing down your neck, his hands gripping your hips like he couldn’t get close enough. It was messy, impulsive, and thrilling.

“We probably shouldn’t,” you’d whispered, your breath catching as his mouth moved against your collarbone.

He’d laughed softly, his voice low and rough. “Yeah. Probably not.”

Neither of you stopped.

There were moments after that—moments that felt like everything you’d ever wanted. Late nights in his apartment, the room dimly lit by the glow of the city outside. He’d lie next to you, his fingers tracing absent patterns on your arm as you talked about everything and nothing.

He’d tell you about his childhood, the things he rarely told anyone. The weight of his past. And you’d listen, feeling like you were peeling back layers of him that no one else had ever seen.

“You don’t have to fix me,” he’d murmured once, his voice barely above a whisper. “I just… I like being around you.”

You’d smiled, brushing his hair back from his face. “I’m not trying to fix you, Bucky.”

And in those moments, you weren’t lying.

But then there were the other moments. The ones where he pulled away so fast it left you reeling.

You remember the first time he didn’t text you back. It wasn’t just hours—it was days. Days of overanalyzing every word you’d said to him the last time you saw him. Days of your stomach twisting every time your phone buzzed, only for it to not be him.

When he finally did text, it was so casual it made you want to scream.

“Hey. You good?”

No apology. No explanation. Just like that, he was back. And you let him back in because you didn’t know how not to.

And then there was the jealousy. The way you’d catch him talking to someone else at a party, his body language so open and inviting in a way it rarely was with you. You hated how it made you feel, the bitterness that bubbled up, the way you wanted to pull him aside and demand to know if he cared about you at all.

But you didn’t. You never did.

“Do you even want to move on?” Wanda asks, her tone soft but pointed. “Or is this just who you are now?”

You blink at her, her words cutting through the haze of your thoughts. “I don’t know,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

She sighs, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. “You deserve better, you know that, right?”

The door swings open, and Natasha walks in, dropping her bag on the counter. She gives you a look, one that’s equal parts sympathetic and exasperated.

“Let me guess,” she says, crossing her arms. “You’re thinking about him again.”

You don’t answer, but the way your jaw tightens is enough for her to roll her eyes. “You know he’s not good for you. Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

“I don’t know,” you snap, harsher than you mean to. “Maybe because it’s not that simple.”

“Actually, it is,” Natasha retorts, her voice sharp. “You stop calling him. You stop answering when he calls. You stop letting him treat you like an afterthought.”

“Nat—” Wanda starts, her tone soothing, but Natasha holds up a hand.

“No, she needs to hear this.” She looks at you again, her expression softening just slightly. “I know you care about him. But caring about him isn’t enough if he doesn’t care about you the same way. At some point, you have to start putting yourself first.”

You glance away, her words hitting too close to home.

“I don’t get you,” you’d once said your voice trembling with frustration. “One minute you’re here, and it feels like—like maybe this could be something. And the next, you’re gone.”

He’d run a hand through his hair, pacing the room. “It’s not that simple.”

“Yes, it is, Bucky,” you’d said, your voice rising. “You either want me, or you don’t. So which is it?”

He’d stopped then, turning to look at you. And the look on his face—it wasn’t anger or indifference. It was fear.

“I don’t know,” he’d said finally, his voice breaking.

And that was the worst part.

“You’re spiraling,” Sam said. He wasn’t harsh about it, but he didn’t sugarcoat it either. “This isn’t love. It’s self-destruction.”

Even as you think it, your phone buzzes on the coffee table. The sound feels too loud in the quiet room, pulling everyone’s attention. You glance at the screen, and your heart skips when you see his name. Just his name—no message preview, no context, just him.

Wanda notices, her brow furrowing as she leans forward. “Don’t,” she says softly, but there’s a weight behind the word, a plea. “You’ll just end up back where you started.”

You stare at the screen, your thumb hovering over the notification. The silence in the room grows heavier, charged with unspoken tension. Your chest tightens as your mind races. It would be so easy. Just one tap, and he’d be there again. One tap, and you’d hear his voice, feel the pull that always brings you back.

“I just…” Your voice falters, your eyes flickering to Wanda and then to Sam, who watches you with a mix of concern and frustration. “What if this time it’s different?”

Sam lets out a bitter laugh, running a hand over his face. “You think this time is different? Come on. What’s he going to say that he hasn’t already said a hundred times before?”

“It’s not about what he says,” Wanda interjects, her voice gentle but firm. “It’s about what he does. And what has he done, really, except hurt you?”

You look back at the screen. The notification is still there, a glaring reminder of the mess you can’t seem to escape. Your thumb presses down slightly, not enough to open it but enough to feel the weight of the choice.

“But I love him,” you whisper. The words tumble out before you can stop them, raw and unfiltered.

Sam exhales sharply, standing up from the chair and pacing across the room. “Yeah, we know. Everyone knows. But does he love you? Because if he does, he’s got a real shitty way of showing it.”

You flinch at his tone, the harshness cutting through your defenses. “He does love me,” you say quietly, more to yourself than to him.

“Then where is he?” Sam snaps, turning to face you. “Why isn’t he here, fighting for you instead of blowing up your phone every time he feels lonely? Why is it always you doing the heavy lifting?”

Wanda places a hand on Sam’s arm, pulling him back gently. “Sam…”

“No, I need to say it,” he says, his voice softer now but still firm. “Love isn’t supposed to feel like this. It’s not supposed to feel like you’re drowning every damn day just to keep him afloat.”

The bar is too loud, too crowded, and too filled with memories of Bucky for you to feel at ease. But you’re here because it’s Steve’s birthday, and Natasha had insisted. And of course you came it was Steve.

You’re leaning against the bar, talking to a man you barely know. His smile is easy, his laugh smooth, and even though you’re trying to focus on him, you can feel Bucky’s eyes on you. From across the room, his gaze burns into your back, searing through your dress like a brand.

You glance over your shoulder, meeting his eyes for a split second. The tension in his jaw, the way his drink sits untouched in his hand—it’s the most emotion he’s shown all night. But it’s not enough to stop you.

If he wants to act like he doesn’t care, you’ll give him something to not care about.

The man beside you leans in, his hand brushing against your arm as he says something you don’t quite catch over the noise. You laugh, even though you barely hear the joke. You laugh because you know Bucky is watching.

It doesn’t take long for him to snap.

Before you realize what’s happening, his hand is on your wrist. Firm but not rough, his grip sends a jolt through you. “Let’s go,” he says, his voice low and clipped.

“Excuse me?” You pull back, glaring at him, but his grip doesn’t loosen.

“We’re leaving,” he says, not looking at you, not giving the man beside you so much as a glance.

“Bucky—” you start, but he’s already pulling you through the crowd, weaving between bodies with single-minded determination.

By the time you reach his apartment, you’re seething. He slams the door shut behind you, the sound echoing through the dimly lit space.

“What the hell is your problem?” you snap, crossing your arms.

“My problem?” he fires back, pacing across the room like a caged animal. “My problem is you acting like that guy meant anything to you!”

“Oh, and you would know what means something to me, right?” You take a step closer, your voice rising. “Because you’re so good at showing me how much I mean to you.”

He stops, his eyes narrowing. “Don’t turn this on me.”

“Why not? It’s always about you, isn’t it, Bucky? What you want, what you feel. You drag me into your mess every time, and I let you, because I—”

You stop yourself, your breath catching.

“Because you what?” he demands, his voice sharp.

“Because I care about you!” you yell, your chest heaving. “And all you ever do is hurt me for it.”

His face twists, like your words hit him somewhere deep. For a moment, you think he’s going to say something, that he’s going to explain or apologize or do something, but instead, he grabs a plate from the counter and hurls it against the wall. The sharp crash reverberates through the room, the pieces scattering across the floor like jagged confessions neither of you are ready to face.

You flinch at the sound, but the fire in your chest burns brighter, fueled by the chaos. “Oh, real mature, Bucky. Breaking dishes? That’s your solution? Just break things until you don’t have to feel anything anymore?”

He grabs another plate, his hand trembling as he grips it, his knuckles white. His voice breaks as he yells, “You think this is easy for me? You think I don’t know I’m screwing this up? That I don’t hate myself for it?”

“Then stop!” you shout back, your voice raw and cracking under the weight of it all. “Stop hurting me, stop dragging me back, stop—just stop!”

The plate shakes in his hand, and for a second, you think he’s going to throw it again. Instead, he slams it down on the counter with a hollow thud. His shoulders slump as he leans over it, his head bowed like he’s trying to hold himself together. His breathing is ragged, his hands gripping the edge of the counter so tightly you think it might break under the strain.

“I don’t know how,” he whispers finally, his voice so soft you almost don’t hear it. “I don’t know how to be what you need.”

The vulnerability in his voice slices through you, but it’s not enough. Not this time. The ache in your chest is unbearable, your heart breaking as you look at the man you love and realize he’ll never love you the way you need him to.

“Then let me go, Bucky,” you say, your voice trembling but resolute. “If you can’t give me what I need, let me go.”

He finally turns to face you, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “I can’t,” he says, his voice breaking like the plates he just shattered. “I don’t want to let you go.”

Your chest tightens, the pain twisting deeper with every word. “Aren’t you seeing someone?” you ask, your voice sharper than you intended.

He shakes his head, his jaw clenching. “She’s not you,” he says, his voice trembling. “They’re never you.”

The admission stuns you into silence for a moment. The tears you’ve been holding back spill over, hot and heavy. “Then why can’t you give me that, Bucky?” you whisper, your voice shaking with anger and grief. “Why can you give it to them but not to me? Why is it always me who’s left bleeding for you? It’s not fair—I give you everything! And you just take, take, take! What’s left of me after this?”

Your words hang between you, raw and unfiltered, and for a moment, he doesn’t respond. He doesn’t try to defend himself, doesn’t even try to apologize. He just stares at you, his eyes wide and desperate, like he’s drowning in the mess he’s made.

Then, without warning, he steps forward, grabbing your face in his hands. His touch is rough, almost frantic, his fingers trembling against your skin. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”

And before you can say anything, before you can even catch your breath, his lips crash into yours.

The kiss is desperate and messy, his tears mixing with yours as he pulls you closer like he’s afraid to let go. His hands shake as they cup your face, his lips pressing against yours with a fierceness that makes your knees weak.

You hate how easily you give in, how quickly your hands find their way to his chest, clutching at the fabric of his shirt like it’s the only thing keeping you upright. The anger and pain and longing all bleed together in that kiss, every unspoken word, every broken promise, every piece of you he’s taken without giving anything back.

When he pulls away, his forehead rests against yours, his breath warm and ragged against your skin. “But I can’t lose you. Please… don’t leave me.” He whispers his voice trembling

Your heart shatters all over again. “Okay”

Bucky’s hands tighten on your arms, his breath warm and uneven against your face. His lips hover just above yours, his eyes searching yours for something—permission, maybe, or forgiveness he doesn’t deserve. You don’t give it to him, but you don’t pull away either.

Instead, your hands move on their own, sliding up his chest and curling into the fabric of his shirt. The tension between you snaps like a live wire as he closes the distance again, his mouth crashing against yours with a desperation that leaves no room for hesitation.

The kiss deepens, his lips parting yours, his tongue brushing against yours in a way that sends heat pooling low in your belly. His hands roam down your sides, fingers gripping your hips like he’s afraid you’ll slip away. You press closer, your body molding to his as the frustration and anger between you melt into something darker, hotter, and infinitely more consuming.

Bucky backs you up until your hips hit the edge of the counter, the cool surface biting into your skin through the thin fabric of your dress. His hands slide up your thighs, his touch firm and deliberate as he lifts you onto the counter. You gasp against his mouth, your hands tangling in his hair as he steps between your legs, his body pressing against yours in all the right ways.

“Tell me to stop,” he murmurs against your lips, his voice rough and breathless. “If this isn’t what you want, tell me now.”

You pull back just enough to look at him, your chest heaving as you meet his gaze. His blue eyes are dark, filled with a mix of longing and uncertainty that tugs at something deep inside you. “Don’t stop,” you whisper, your voice trembling with need.

That’s all it takes. He grips the hem of your dress and pulls it up, his hands sliding over your thighs, rough and calloused against your skin. His lips trail down your neck, his stubble scraping lightly against you as he kisses the sensitive spot just below your ear. Your head tilts back, a soft moan escaping your lips as his hands and mouth make you forget every argument, every broken moment that led you here.

His fingers find the edge of your underwear, his touch teasing as he looks up at you, waiting. You nod, your breath hitching as he slides them aside, his fingers exploring with a skill that leaves you trembling. He watches you intently, his gaze locked on your face as he learns every reaction, every sound you make.

When his name slips from your lips, low and needy, it’s like something inside him snaps. He lifts you effortlessly, carrying you to the couch with a strength that leaves you dizzy. The world blurs around you, your focus narrowing to the feel of his body against yours, the weight of his hands, the intensity of his gaze.

“You’re all I think about,” he says, his voice raw as he settles over you. “Every damn day.”

You don’t answer. You can’t. The only response you can give is the way you arch into him, the way you pull him closer, needing him as much as he needs you. And when he finally joins you, it’s slow and deliberate, every movement designed to pull you deeper into the storm of him.

The morning light seeps through the curtains as you stand by his window, fully dressed, the quiet hum of the city below serving as your only company. Bucky is still asleep in the bed, his arm draped across the pillow where you had been just hours ago. You glance at him one last time, your heart clenching in your chest. For a fleeting moment, you consider crawling back into bed, letting yourself believe in the softness of this moment.

But you can’t.

You quietly grab your things and slip out the door, the sound of it clicking shut behind you feeling heavier than it should.

By mid-morning, you’ve buried yourself in mundane errands—anything to keep your mind from circling back to him. You’re at the farmer’s market now, weaving through the stalls of fresh produce and flowers, the air filled with the faint scent of lavender and bread. You clutch a tote bag tightly in your hand, trying to focus on the vibrant colors of the fruit in front of you.

You pick up an apple, turning it over in your hand absently. It’s almost enough to distract you from the ache still lodged in your chest. Almost.

Until you see him.

You freeze, the apple slipping from your grasp and thudding softly onto the wooden table in front of you. Your breath catches, and the world seems to narrow until it’s just him, standing only a few stalls away.

His dark hair catches the sunlight, and for a moment, it feels like nothing has changed, like the night before never ended. His eyes are locked on yours, wide and filled with a mix of emotions you can’t quite place—shock, guilt, something softer that makes your chest tighten painfully.

For a moment, it’s just the two of you, suspended in time. Everyone else around you fades into nothing, their chatter and laughter muffled like the background of a dream.

But then your gaze shifts.

To her.

The woman standing beside him.

Her hand is clasped firmly in his, their fingers intertwined in a way that feels too familiar, too intimate. She’s beautiful, her expression warm and open as she looks up at him, clearly unaware of the storm brewing between his gaze and yours.

Your stomach twists violently, and the apple you’d forgotten about rolls off the edge of the table and hits the ground.

Bucky’s face changes when he sees you notice her, his eyes softening with guilt, his mouth parting as if he wants to say something, anything. But he doesn’t.

He just stands there, holding her hand, while your chest caves in.

You swallow hard, your throat tight as you force yourself to look away, your vision blurring with unshed tears. You clutch your tote bag tighter and turn, walking away without another word.

You barely make it out of the market before the tears spill over. You wipe them away furiously, your hands trembling as you duck into a side street, out of view from the crowds.

The weight of his gaze lingers on your back, like a hand reaching out but never quite touching you. You can feel him watching you, but you don’t dare turn around. You can’t.

You stop for a moment, your chest heaving as you lean against the wall of a brick building. The morning sun feels too bright, the world too loud despite the hollow silence pounding in your ears.

He didn’t follow.

You told yourself you didn’t want him to, but the ache in your chest says otherwise.

When you glance back toward the market, just for a second, you see him standing at the edge of the stalls, his hand no longer in hers, his face etched with something that looks like regret.

But he doesn’t move.

And neither do you.

With a deep breath, you wipe your face one last time, adjust the strap of your tote bag, and walk away. The weight in your chest feels unbearable, but your feet keep moving anyway.

The apartment is quiet that night, the silence pressing down on you as you sit by the window, staring out at the city lights. You tell yourself you’re not waiting for him, but your phone sits beside you on the windowsill, the screen dark but heavy with possibilities.

It’s almost midnight when the buzz breaks the silence. You glance at the screen, your heart stopping when you see his name.

The message is simple. “Please, can we talk? I miss you…I’m sorry”

[dollishsz]

BATBOYS JEALOUSY HCS ── .✦

a/n: I just ate which like now my stomach hurts because I ate this spicy burger (10/10) and my stomach is hurting so let’s hope i don’t die from a burger😭 also request from anon (here) tysm!

(Tags: batboys when jealous of crush!reader)

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

Internally Brooding, Externally Stoic: Bruce keeps a calm, composed exterior, but inside? Full-on brooding mode. He watches every move, his jaw clenching just slightly whenever the other guy laughs a little too much.

Passive-Aggressive Moves: Bruce subtly but effectively tries to interrupt. Maybe he’ll walk by and offer you something he never does, like coffee or water, just to make his presence known. “You looked thirsty,” he’ll say, while the guy looks confused.

Petty Rich Guy Move: He’ll ‘accidentally’ mention something about Wayne Enterprises, as if to remind everyone just how wealthy and powerful he is. “Funny, we were discussing corporate acquisitions the other day,” he’ll drop casually, as if it relates. (Let’s hope he doesn’t drain his bank 😞🙏)

The Comedy: When Alfred catches him glaring, he’ll dryly say, “Master Wayne, perhaps you should try blinking before you permanently furrow your brow.” Bruce will immediately deny he’s bothered, even as he side-eyes you again.

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

Charm Dial Up to 100: Dick doesn’t even try to hide his jealousy. He’ll swoop into the conversation, throwing in his most dazzling smile. “Hey, I didn’t realize we were letting random guys have all the fun,” he’ll say with a teasing grin, while subtly nudging the guy aside.

Over-the-Top Compliments: He’ll suddenly become your biggest hype-man. “You know, she’s literally the smartest, funniest, and most beautiful person in the room, right? No offense to you, man.” The other guy feels awkward, and you just laugh while Dick grins smugly.

Puppy Dog Eyes: If you keep talking to the other guy, Dick’s smile might falter just a little, and he’ll stand in the background, clearly pouting. It’s so obvious that even you can’t help but laugh.

The Comedy: He’ll mutter, “Didn’t even know jealousy could feel this personal,” under his breath while side-eyeing the guy like it’s a soap opera.

JASON TODD ── .✦

Grumpy But Trying to Play it Cool: Jason’s jealousy is obvious in how stiff and silent he gets. He leans against the nearest wall, arms crossed, glaring like the other guy just insulted his whole family.

Blunt Interruptions: He doesn’t have the patience to be subtle. He’ll walk up and ask, “So, who’s this?” in the least friendly tone possible, with a fake smile that could curdle milk.

Accidental Intimidation: Jason’s sheer presence is intimidating, so the poor guy talking to you will probably start feeling uncomfortable as Jason looms over, cracking his knuckles or adjusting his jacket dramatically.

The Comedy: If you don’t notice, Jason will mutter sarcastically, “Oh sure, talk to Captain Chit-Chat over there. Not like I’m standing right here or anything.” Roy, nearby, might add, “Jason, you’re doing that ‘death stare’ thing again,” and Jason will growl, “I’m not jealous.”

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

Awkward and Overthinking Everything: Tim doesn’t get jealous often, but when he does, it’s a mess. He watches from a distance, wringing his hands, thinking, Should I interrupt? Maybe she likes him? Maybe I’m reading too much into it…

Accidental Sulking: He tries to focus on something else, but his mind keeps wandering. He sits down nearby, pretending to work on his laptop, typing nonsense just so he can stay close without being obvious. “Haha, yeah…no big deal…” deletes everything he just typed.

Passive Observing: Tim eventually tries to casually stroll by, acting like he just happened to be there. “Oh, hey… didn’t see you there. Weird, right?” He’s so awkward it’s endearing.

The Comedy: If Kon or Bart sees him sulking, they’ll tease him mercilessly. “Dude, go talk to her.” Tim panics, “I can’t. She’s busy… laughing… with him…” Kon: “You’re hopeless.”

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

Silent Judgment Mode: Damian watches with narrowed eyes, judging every aspect of the guy talking to you. He might even mutter things under his breath like, “He stands like a fool,” or “He can’t even articulate properly.”

Direct Interruption: Damian doesn’t have time for subtlety. He’ll walk up and flatly say, “Are you finished with this conversation? It’s becoming unbearable.” The other guy is usually too shocked to respond.

Unintentional Comedy: He’ll start critiquing the guy’s conversation topics. “She doesn’t care about your opinions on sports,” he’ll state matter-of-factly, as you try not to laugh.

The Comedy: If you ask if he’s jealous, he’ll scoff. “Jealous? Of that imbecile? Hardly.” But the tips of his ears are turning red, and you know he’s lying.

[waynes-multiverse]

I was soooooooo excited for this! *breathes in sharply* Okay let's get started 🍿😎👏

“You have my blessing,” she said. “All I ask is that you don’t scar me with any gushy details afterward.”

I love their friendship so much 😂 And kudos to Dory. It takes a lot to agree to this. It could potentially get very awkward 😝

“You know, it’s been about twenty years since I’ve seen him,” she said. “We’ve had entire lives already. I see him now, and there’s some of the Russell I knew when we were kids, but…there’s just a lot I don’t know about him, who he’s become.”

God, I know. This is honestly what I think about the most when I watch Tracker. The whole story line is insane and intriguing and... 😅 I have a thousand questions, and there's so much you could do with it in fics. I love it (clearly) 😂🤍

Dory’s face tightened. “It’s a long story. I’ve told you some of it. But basically, after our dad died, nothing was ever the same again.”

I do think Russell knows a lot more about their past than he lets on. Also, he was way too chipper for someone who was accused of patricide by his own brother for twenty years. The dynamic between the brothers is just... interesting 👀

Barely a date, you reminded yourself, as you unlocked the door to your house. Barely a date, barely a date.

Right... 😆

“You’re a grown fucking man, Charlie! Do you really need me to give you the just say no speech?” you said. 

Oh, she's going full Reagan! 😂 I sense some trouble coming from the brother, though...

“Yeah well, maybe just for one night, I wanted to relax without you harping on my back,” he said, glaring up at you. “Is that too much to fucking ask? For you to give me some goddamn slack?”

Well, I hope he already picked out his casket... 🙈💀

“Hey, there.” He greeted you with a warm hand on your back. He helped you into your seat.

I'd be a puddle before I even made it to the damn seat 🫠

And they are literally so cute together! I'm full on swooning over here 😍

Russell nodded. He wasn’t sure how much Dory told you about their family business, but it dimmed his mood.

Ah, yes, the family business. Love that sublte hint 😆 Would be a good name for a brewery, tho 👍

He was starting to get a clearer picture of who your brother was. It struck at familiar chords inside himself that he wasn’t so comfortable with. He shifted in his seat, fingers flexing over his glass on the counter.

I like that you emphasized the darker parts of his life. Like I said, I don't buy his whole "I'm happy and funny and quirky" act. There's a lot more stirring beneath the charming surface 😅 (Another thing he has in common with Dean lol)

And oh, don't we love a good cry on the first date? Poor thing 😂🤍

“You gotta understand that me, my brother, my sister, we didn’t grow up like a normal family,” he said. “Yeah, I know,” you nodded. “Dory’s told me some of it. It sounded…rustic.” He snorted. “Putting it mildly.”

Indeed 😂 I would've loved to be a fly on the wall when Dory had this conversation with her lol

How he very eloquently avoided talking about Colter accusing him of murdering their father. I wanna be a fly on the wall for that future convo too 🤣

And he slapped you right on the ass.

Loved that she got a punch in before even Russell got there. He might have actually killed that pig lmao

“Aw, it doesn’t look as bad as all that. But can I see?” he asked. You allowed him to take your smaller hand in his. Your knuckles were red and tender to the touch when he gently pressed. You hissed in pain.

I'm having vivid flashbacks to Smoke Eater 🥵🔥

But his hands were gentle for you.

This line just about killed me... 🫠🫠🫠

“Three balls, huh?” you said slyly, and maybe, a little tipsy. “Might wanna get that looked at.”

I appreciate that kind of humor 😂😂

“Now, if I go in for a kiss goodnight, are you gonna deck me?” he asked, with a teasing glint in his eyes.

I absolutely can see him saying that 💯😂

He found no other recourse but to back you up against the side of his car.

Probably one of my favorite scenes is when characters are so hot for each other they lean against a car. There's just something so incredibly passionate about it 🔥🫠

“I’m staying at a motel, if you wanna…” he said, between kisses.

Oh, Russell, this is not what the lady wants to hear. Bless him tho 😂

And I figured she wanted more than a one-night-stand or fling. His job and lifestyle truly is a bit of a problem. But he wanted out anyways, so... 🤞

I loved their first date! 😍🤍 Hopefully, they'll see each other again soon and might give this another shot. I have a feeling it's gonna involve her brother's bullshit somehow 😅

Every Second Counts - Part 1

Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader

Summary: One date with your best friend’s brother leaves you wanting more, even though his questionable job and vagabond lifestyle make you want to guard your heart. When your brother falls into trouble, however, Russell is the first one you trust to help you find him. 

AN: Finally, here we are at Part 1! Remember that A Line and a Half functions as our prologue here.

Word Count: 5.7K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only for some mature thoughts. Fluff, angst and hurt/comfort, drug use, mentions of drug addiction and alcoholism, skeevy men, and a tinge of spice.~

💜 Series Masterlist

Part 1: "Permission Granted"

“Are you absolutely sure?” you asked, with your hands on your hips. 

You wanted no miscommunication here, no read-between-the-lines mishaps, no subtext or nuance to bite you in the ass later. So here you stood in the middle of your best friend’s office, still at the Wyoming University campus after your last class.

Dory had to laugh at you. She pushed away from her desk and threw her hands up.

“Yes, for the love of God, you can grab a drink with my brother,” she said.

After brushing a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, she went to you and set her hands on your shoulders.

“You have my blessing,” she said. “All I ask is that you don’t scar me with any gushy details afterward.” 

Your face began to heat up in a blush. You crossed your arms.

“All right, no one said there was going to be any of that,” you replied. “It’s just a date. Barely a date, mind you.”

“A-huh,” Dory said with a sneaking smile. “Out of curiosity, what was it about him that hooked you? You’ve been dodging Chris’s valiant attempts for like a month now.”

Chris was a French and Spanish professor. His office was on the same floor as yours, so you two occasionally crossed paths whenever you ventured into the teacher’s lounge.

He usually caught you in the morning while you were grabbing your free coffee fix at the Keurig. He’d chat you up about his classes and his dog and his new boat, and all the while you’d struggle to get a word in edgewise. Despite that, he was good-looking and pleasant, for the most part. It was just…

“I don’t know. He’s not my type, I guess,” you shrugged. You kind of liked conversations where both people got to speak.

“And Russell is?” Dory said, in a teasing tone. You chewed the inside of your lip, fighting a smile.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “Kind of want to find out though.”

“Okay, well, let me know what you find,” Dory said, more wryly. You caught a bit of melancholy when her gaze drifted off. Your brows furrowed in concern as you drew closer, setting a hand on her arm.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

She was hesitant, but she eventually answered you with a confession.

“You know, it’s been about twenty years since I’ve seen him,” she said. “We’ve had entire lives already. I see him now, and there’s some of the Russell I knew when we were kids, but…there’s just a lot I don’t know about him, who he’s become.”

You could understand that. You squeezed her arm in sympathy.

“Well, he really seems to want to know you now,” you said. You remembered all the questions he asked you when he helped you carry your files back to your office after lunch today—most of them about Dory, about her career, your friendship, and ultimately, if she was happy.

“What happened to you guys?” you asked. “Why are you all so distant? Colter included.”

Dory’s face tightened. “It’s a long story. I’ve told you some of it. But basically, after our dad died, nothing was ever the same again.”

You dimmed at that. You knew their mother still lived in the cabin they grew up in, but Dory had never quite been able to tell you what happened to their dad. You’d never pushed the subject. You knew better than anyone what kind of pain that was. 

“I just wish we’d been able to stay with each other. Me and my brothers, at least,” Dory said. But she adopted a smile for you, before she returned to her desk.

“Okay. Go on your non-date at your favorite bar with Russell. I’ll be here, grading papers until Judgment Day,” she said, with a small laugh that felt like a coverup for thoughts she no longer wanted to think about.

You let her do it. You grabbed your purse and work bag off the spare chair in front of her desk.

“So you’re sure,” you wanted to confirm. “One last chance for me to tell him I came down with food poisoning.”

Dory collected her stack of midterm papers and gave you a cheeky look that said, class dismissed. Then she clicked her red pen and pointedly looked down at the first batch of papers to read through.

You smiled. Okay, you thought, giving her a little wave goodbye when you turned to leave. You had just a couple of hours to drive home and get ready to meet Russell.

“Goodnight,” you called.

“Goodniiight,” Dory replied.

You heard the smirk in her voice without even having to look back.

After fighting through rush hour traffic, you were exhausted when you got home from work. Your tentative excitement and nerves about tonight gave you some new energy though, even if you thought those nerves were silly to have.

Barely a date, you reminded yourself, as you unlocked the door to your house. Barely a date, barely a date.

The Ring Camera beside the door chimed when you entered the house, signaling your arrival. You had to wrinkle your nose at the dank-ass smell that greeted you.

Frowning in annoyance, you dropped your stuff on the kitchen table for now and shucked off your heels. You made a beeline down the hall, to the bedroom that lied across from yours. You pushed it open without knocking. There you caught your older brother, Charlie, snoozing in his bed with the covers half pooling on the floor.

His room was a mess, as usual. Your gaze locked on the evidence of half a blunt on his nightstand and two smoked roaches beside it. You were glad it wasn’t remnants of white lines of powder, like times before, but there was also a large bottle of whiskey. It was almost empty, and hanging loosely from his hand.

He managed to raise his head a bit when you came in.

“Hey,” he said, blinking bleary eyes. He cleared his throat and tried to sit up.

You shook your head and picked around piles of dirty clothes and a couple of used paper plates on the floor. You swiftly grabbed the bottle from his hand and slammed it on the nightstand.

“You promised me, Charlie,” you snapped. “You promised me for the hundredth time that you’d quit all this shit. Where even were you last night? You weren’t home when I left for work this morning.”

He sighed, frowning at how loud you were, and sat up in bed. He swung his legs over the side and held his swimming head in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. He ran a hand through his hair. It was nearly black, like Dad’s had been, but he’d inherited Mom’s lighter eyes.

“I got invited to a party,” he said. “I’m sorry, I know. This is the last time.”

You expelled a frustrated breath and shook your head.

“You’re a grown fucking man, Charlie! Do you really need me to give you the just say no speech?” you said. 

“Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know how many times I can say it,” he said. He shut his eyes tight, probably trying to fend off a headache. 

Good, you thought. Let that be a reminder of how bad he’d screwed up again. 

“And while we’re at it, what about your half of the bills? You’re a week late,” you said, testily crossing your arms.

“Yeah, I’m a little behind,” he said. Once again, he cleared his throat past a wad of phlegm. He was still a bit crossfaded too, you could tell. “You know they cut my hours to part-time at the museum. I’ve, uh, I’ve been looking into getting another job—”

“I already paid the phone bill. And the internet, the water bill, the electricity,” you said. “The house may be paid off, but the least you can do is pay your half of living here.”

The longer you stared at him, seeing the guilt hidden behind drunken eyes, you realized he wasn’t just late on his half of the bills.

“How much?” you asked.

He frowned up at you. “What?”

“How much do you owe?” you said. Your voice was as cutting as your gaze. Charlie lowered his.  

“It’s okay, don’t worry—”

“How much,” you pressed.

He looked up at you again, this time with pursed lips. After a beat, he sighed and gave in.

“About two grand,” he admitted.

You raised your eyes heavenward, muttering a curse. Your hands went to your temples as you had to pace the room. You were angry and exasperated in equal measure.

“Who the fuck do you owe two grand?!” you asked.

Charlie shook his head. “It’s better that I don’t tell you that.”

You paused. As you looked down at him, your anger dissolved into sadness, like it always did.

“If Mom and Dad could see you now, they wouldn’t recognize you,” you said.

Charlie fought not to react to that, his brows furrowing. Instead, he just looked down, unable to answer you.

“Charlie, you need help. I can’t keep doing this with you,” you said. Your shaky breath gave way to the burn of tears.  

His red-rimmed eyes became glassy as well.

“I’m sorry,” was all he said.

He was always sorry. And you always had to be the one to nurse him back to health, pick up the pieces, pay the bills. You were exhausted. The bone-deep kind of tired that felt like gravity wasn't so much keeping you down, but pushing you.

“I’m going to ask for two things: do what you need to do to get paid, and clean up your shit. If you can’t accomplish that, then I’m taking you to rehab,” you said.

“You know I’ve tried that,” Charlie said, with a shrug of his shoulders. “Didn’t really work for me.”

“You left the program after two weeks!” you retorted.

“I did it on my own! I’ve been clean for months,” he argued.

“And what happened? You go to one party and all your good sense, all your training, mentally and physically—that all goes out the window?” you said. You had half a mind not to believe him.

“Yeah well, maybe just for one night, I wanted to relax without you harping on my back,” he said, glaring up at you. “Is that too much to fucking ask? For you to give me some goddamn slack?”

Your mouth fell open incredulously.  

“I’m on your back?” you said. “Okay. I’ll get off. Do whatever the hell you want, Charlie. I’m done.”

You left his room in an angry huff. You headed over to your room so you could take a shower and start getting ready to meet Russell at Howley’s. 

By the time you got to your bedroom, you heard the front door slam closed.

The truth was, you were no longer in a mood to have fun when you pulled up to Howley’s, but you needed to escape your house. Also, you weren’t someone who canceled on people last-minute, especially not on Dory’s own brother.

You found Russell waiting for you at the bar. He waved to you with a fifth of whiskey in hand and an easy grin. He’d saved you a seat beside him.

You found yourself smiling. Your mood began to lighten as you went over to him. He looked more or less the same, but this time the jacket and jeans combo was navy blue and dark wash, respectively. His hair was swept back, lightly gelled. You smelled the familiar, rich woodiness of his cologne when you drew near, along with a hint of spicy soap.

“Hey, there.” He greeted you with a warm hand on your back. He helped you into your seat.

“Hey, yourself,” you replied, and thanked him for the assist onto the tall stool. You’d opted for jeans and a blouse, paired with your favorite leather boots. It was less dressy than he’d seen you before, but that was “work mode.” This was a more casual affair, even if you’d spent at least twenty extra minutes on your makeup.

You were glad he picked a spot at the end of the bar though. It put some distance from the group of guys getting rowdy as they cheered at the football game playing on the TV.

“How was the rest of your day, Professor?” he asked. “And what’re you wanting to drink?”

You let out a long sigh and turned toward him, resting your elbow on the counter.

“Awesome. I’m going to need two shots of tequila and an order of something fried, and preferably covered with cheese, please,” you replied.

Russell’s grin deepened. “Okay, I’m thinking ‘awesome’ is code for something. But we can get started on that order of Forget Today’s Unfortunate Events.”

He flagged down the bartender with a raise of his hand, but he shot you a glance.

“Though I’m hoping it’s not all of today that you wanna forget,” he said.

Your lips threatened another smile, as the memory of your hand being swept up into his, and soft lips meeting the back of your hand filtered through your mind.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s possible,” you said.

After about ten minutes of playfully debating the appetizer menu (you swore by the pretzel and beer cheese, but Russell had his eye on those spicy wings), he finally settled on ordering both.

“When in doubt, don’t go without,” he’d remarked.

You swept a pretty coil of hair over your shoulder and downed your tequila shots with a lime wedge. Meanwhile, Russell tried not to linger his eyes on the way your tongue swept over your finger to catch a drop of lime juice. Your nails were manicured, and the shade of the polish matched your lipstick.

Russell didn’t pretend to know the art and science of a woman’s wardrobe, but everything about you was thought out, it seemed, falling in line with what he’d expect from a (sexy as all hell) college professor. You’d also told him at lunch today that as of last year, you now had two doctorates: History and Ancient Studies.

Even with all that under your belt, you also seemed refreshingly down-to-earth, a lot like Dory in that sense. He could see why you two were friends.

“So, are you from here, or are you a transplant, like my sister?” he asked.

Dory hadn’t come to live in Wyoming until their aunt and uncle took her in, when she was about eight years old. Before last month, Russell hadn’t seen her since. It hurt his heart to think about, but he tried to focus on you.

You now seemed to be staring a bit listlessly at the glass of whiskey in his hands. He laid a hand on your arm and called your name.

“Hmm?” Your brows rose as you blinked to attention. “Oh! I’m sorry. Yes, I’ve lived here pretty much forever.”

“You okay?” Russell asked. “Tequila hit ya a little hard?”

You shook your head. “No, I’m sorry…”

You raised your hands up to your temples. You debated whether you wanted to open up about this, but…considering who Russell was, you thought he might just understand.

“Dory told me you’ve been trying to reconnect with your brother, right? Colter?” you said.

Russell nodded. He wasn’t sure how much Dory told you about their family business, but it dimmed his mood.

“Well, you could say I’ve got a brother issue of my own,” you said, laughing humorlessly. “You don’t have to talk about yours, but maybe you’ll understand… My brother is a veteran too. He was a Captain, air force pilot. He fought in Afghanistan, mainly.”

Russell processed that with a nod. “Yeah, I was there too. Special Ops.”

“Wow, okay. Then you know what it was like for him, coming back home,” you said. Your gaze fell to your empty shot glasses. “It was hard, after…”

“After?” he prompted.

You sighed. “Near the end, he lost half his unit in a raid, off of some flawed intel.”

Russell’s brows knitted together. Hmm. Grief, survivor’s guilt, feeling like you don’t belong.

He was starting to get a clearer picture of who your brother was. It struck at familiar chords inside himself that he wasn’t so comfortable with. He shifted in his seat, fingers flexing over his glass on the counter.

You didn’t notice, but you did push the shot glasses away from you.

“I helped him the best I could,” you said. “I got him a job at the museum I interned at when I was in undergrad. He’s there as a security guard, but it’s not really enough, you know? It’s like, nothing satisfies him. I just…I don’t think I know how to help him anymore.”

You couldn’t help it. Emotion bubbled in your throat, making it close up on you as tears stung in your eyes. Your lower lip wobbled, and you tried to turn your face away. Embarrassment coiled up in your chest and made your face hot.

You felt a hand cover yours on your thigh, squeezing warmly. You looked up and met Russell’s gaze, both sympathetic and understanding.

“I’m so sorry,” you said, trying to calm your shuddering breath. “This isn’t exactly first date material. I can’t believe I unloaded on you like that.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said. “Believe me, I get what your brother’s going through.”

He pushed the plate with the last piece of soft-baked pretzel over to you.

“You finish that if you want, then you go ahead and pick something else off the menu. I won’t even argue with you this time,” he promised with a grin.

It got you to laugh, at least, and he gave you a napkin for your tears.

God, get it together, you told yourself. You’re a damn mess.

“Thanks,” you said. You managed to smile as you blotted at one corner of your eye. You hoped you hadn’t just irreversibly smudged your mascara.

Russell surprised you by brushing his thumb against your other cheek, wiping a stray tear away. Your face began to warm with a blush.

“Again, I’m sorry for dumping on you. We had a fight right when I got home,” you admitted.

“What’s his name?” Russell asked.

“Charlie.”

“Older or younger than you?”

“Four years older,” you replied. “He enlisted a few years after he graduated high school.”

Russell flickered at a smile. Enlisted, huh?

Yet another thing he and Charlie had in common, except Russell hadn’t made it through high school in the classic sense.

“What do you think?” you asked.

“I think your brother sounds lost right now. I’ve known a lotta guys like him, unfortunately,” Russell admitted. “Walking back into civilian life, it ain’t easy. That I know my damn self. Just like I know a thing or two about being an older brother. He’s probably doing his best to keep it off your shoulders.”

You shook your head at that. Trying, maybe.

You weren’t even sure of that anymore. Still, it made you all the more curious about Russell and his family.

“I know I said I wouldn’t ask this, and you don’t have to answer. But did you and Colter have a falling out or something?” you asked.

Russell expelled a deep breath and took a sip from his glass. How was he supposed to navigate this minefield with you?

“You gotta understand that me, my brother, my sister, we didn’t grow up like a normal family,” he said.

“Yeah, I know,” you nodded. “Dory’s told me some of it. It sounded…rustic.”

He snorted. “Putting it mildly.”

He shook his head and drained the rest of his glass. 

“Well, my brother’s got an idea about me that isn’t true,” he said.

Your head tilted in curiosity. “Which is?”

His lips briefly raised in a wan smile. 

“We don’t gotta get into that one tonight. But uh, the truth is, I’ve tried reaching out to him several times now. He just doesn’t wanna hear from me,” said Russell.

You considered him for a moment. You laid a hand on his arm, covered by his jacket. 

“Don’t give up,” you said, with a sigh of your own. “Despite some things I said to him today, I know I can’t. My brother’s the only real family I have.”

Russell grew curious then. “What about your parents?”

You gave a weak smile.

“They passed away when we were young, but…we don’t have to get into that one tonight,” you said, borrowing his words. 

His expression fell. “Jesus. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Thank you,” you accepted, twisting the napkin around your fingers.

An awkward lull of silence fell between you, until Russell nodded and blew out a breath.

“Well. Heavy, huh?”

You chuckled and rested your head against your hand.

“I know. Again, my fault,” you replied. 

“It’s okay, swee—. Mmm,” he cut himself off, shooting you a knowing glance.

“Were you about to sweetheart me?” you asked playfully, nudging his hand. “You know how I feel about that.”

“No, ma’am. Not at all,” Russell shook his head. His smile gave him away though. You laughed and grabbed his arm.

“Come on,” you said.

He allowed you to lead him out of his seat. He already had a tab open, so he’d settle up with the bar later. “Where we going?”

“You’re gonna lose to me at pool,” you said with a smirk.

Russell laughed and wrapped his arm around your waist instead.

“Oh, okay. I’m gonna give you a run for your money, though,” he promised.

And he was true to his word.

Russell Shaw turned out to be a more than worthy opponent. You studied the board as you changed the angle on your cue stick no less than five times.

“You gonna make a move, or we going to be here all night?” he said.

He was smiling as he leaned against his own cue on the other side of the board. His clever moves had left you in a difficult position to get your three remaining solid-colored balls into the pocket.

“You hush. I’m thinking,” you said, fighting your own smile.

“Careful, you’ve got steam coming out of your ears,” he teased.

You shot him a narrowed look for that. But then you smiled, as the answer came to you. You walked around to his side of the board and nudged him with your hip.

“Excuse me, sir,” you said to him over your shoulder.

Russell made way for you, but his eyes followed the way you bent over to line up your shot. Namely the curve of your ass in those tight jeans. He could see you knew exactly what you were doing, in more ways than one.

You shot your shot. The solid green ball leapt over his white-striped blue one and managed to sink into the pocket. You straightened up and gave him a triumphant little smirk.

He tried to temper his smile (and ignore the way his cock twitched).

“All right, go on, do your little victory lap," he said. "But remember, I let you go first.”

“Like that matters,” you quipped back.

You went back to the other side of the board to line up your next shot. Russell noticed a pair of drunk men ambling your way from the bar, but before he could make a subtle move to put himself in between, one of the men’s gazes slid down your form and gave into the base urge to let out a low whistle.

And he slapped you right on the ass.

You gasped, grabbing hold of the pool table. Then your shock melted into ire.

Russell was already heading toward you with an angry frown of his own, but even he had to stop short, when he watched you throw a punch that cracked the drunken man across the bridge of his nose.

Good form, Russell thought, when the guy reared back with a howl. His nose dripped blood when his hands came away from his face.

His buddy started to raise his hackles, but that was when Russell stepped to your side. He angled himself toward you and loosely gripped his pool cue by his hip, like it was an extension of his arm. He was fully prepared to use it like one.

“Fucking bitch!” said the one who was still dabbing his nose in vain. He glared at you, his eyes watering involuntarily, while his friend tried to keep him upright. You rolled your eyes.

"You're the one who's crying, bitch," you returned. Russell held in a snort. He cleared his throat and looked on at the pair of idiots.

“I’d have a little sit down if I were you,” Russell told them, with a smirk. “Let that be a lesson to ya. And if it don’t stick? Well. Whatever you start, I can damn well finish.”

His steely gaze reinforced the promise of his words. The other men were still angry, but even drunks had some sense of self-preservation. They ambled toward the back of the bar to find another pool table.

Russell focused his attention back on you, finding you looking down at your hand, rotating your wrist and flexing your fingers.

“Well, look at you, slugger,” he said. You met his smile with one of amusement.

“That’s just what I needed tonight. A broken hand,” you quipped.

“Aw, it doesn’t look as bad as all that. But can I see?” he asked. You allowed him to take your smaller hand in his. Your knuckles were red and tender to the touch when he gently pressed. You hissed in pain.

Damn, she really gave it to him, Russell thought.

“Sorry,” he said, but your hand felt fine, at least. More than fine. His gaze flicked up to yours as his amused grin deepened. “Good hit though.”

If he liked you before, he might’ve fallen half in love with you right there.

You laughed through the pain. “Yeah, my brother did teach me something. Shit.”

Russell led you back to the bar after you grabbed your purse. There he called to the bartender for some ice. The guy nodded; he’d seen the entire exchange and was sympathetic.

You knew this sort of thing was just par for the course at this kind of bar, but they had the best drinks. Charlie had to carry you out of here on your twenty-first birthday, drunk off your ass. Not to mention, he’d punched out two handsy dicks that night.

You recounted the story to Russell over a couple more drinks. Your conversation was lighter then, filled with laughter and a warm, companiable feeling. He was still rather evasive about his job, but you supposed he had to be, since it was government contract work.

Private security, mainly. Or so he'd said. This man made you infinitely curious, and a bit apprehensive, if you were honest.

And yet, at some point while you two shared and laughed and split a hot sandwich with another round of beers, you realized it.

I like this, you thought. And I like him.

However, the night had to come to an end sometime. Your third involuntary yawn told Russell it was time to call it.

"I'm okay," you tried.

"Nah, you've gotta work tomorrow," he said. He signaled to the bartender. "Let me go ahead and close out my tab."

“Oh, I can pay for half,” you said, reaching for your purse now hanging from your hip.

“You kidding me? Put that away,” he said, guiding your hand with your wallet aside.

Smiling, you accepted his generosity with a small thank you. Then, you let him take up your sore hand again, just to carefully press the half-melted bag of ice over it.

“Feelin’ better?” he asked.

Your smile became softer. “Yeah.”

You had no doubt that this man, tall as he was, with his broad shoulders and the controlled way he carried himself, could’ve laid both of those drunken assholes onto their asses. His intimidating gaze had promised as much.

But his hands were gentle for you.

“I was about to win that game, no contest!” you said, laughing as you and Russell headed out of the bar and into the parking lot.

“Hey, hey, I still had time to win it back,” he argued. “I only had three more balls to go. I could’ve sunk that with my eyes closed.”

“Three balls, huh?” you said slyly, and maybe, a little tipsy. “Might wanna get that looked at.”

Russell snorted. “You think you’re funny, huh?”

“Hey, you laughed!” you said, pointing at him.

He shook his head, despite his amusement. He slowed to a stop in front of his car.

“Where’d you park, huh?” he asked.

“Over there,” you said, pointing several parking spaces down. Your eyes were drawn to his car, however. “Wow. This is your car?”

Russell grinned and patted the top of his black Chevy.

“Aw, yeah. That’s my baby,” he said. “She’s a Chevelle, 1967.”

You didn’t know much about cars, but you could see this was a classic beauty. You passed a hand over its sleek paint job without touching, so you didn't get any fingerprints on it. Though you quirked a smile over your shoulder at him.

“She?” you intoned.

“That’s right. She,” he confirmed.

You smirked and crossed your arms. You paused in front of the passenger door, and when Russell drew in closer, you had to crane your neck up to meet his warm gaze.

“Now, if I go in for a kiss goodnight, are you gonna deck me?” he asked, with a teasing glint in his eyes.

You tilted your head, your own eyes dancing.

“I’m sure you’re brave enough to find out,” you said.

Russell decided he’d take that bet.

He leaned in slowly. He made a show of hesitating, raising a brow, as if waiting for a blow. You were tempted to laugh.

But then he let loose a true smile, and he bowed his head to press his lips against yours. Your eyes fell shut, and your hands moved to flatten against his chest. A firm fucking wall. Jesus.

He circled his arms around your waist, bringing you in closer. Your fingers wound up in his hair, while he tilted his head to kiss you again. You met him with the same fervor with each new kiss, and the feel of your body, soft and pliant under his hands, each little sweet sound that you made, it all drove him to delve in deeper.

You moaned into his mouth at the first warm swipe of his tongue against yours. He tasted like the burn of good whiskey.

You pressed yourself flush against him on instinct. He found no other recourse but to back you up against the side of his car. His hand tangled into your hair, gripping, then easing through the soft strands.

Russell veered away from your soft mouth after a while, just to burn a line of warm, wet kisses along your jaw, and down your neck with the added rasp of his beard.

His lips found the sensitive spot where your neck met your shoulder. He kissed and sucked at your skin, even grazing with his teeth. You gasped softly in his ear, shuddering against him. You ran your hands over his shoulders and down his strong back out of a need to feel him.

His hands were heavy along the curve of your waist then, squeezing your hips. It all felt incredibly right. And by right, you meant body tingling, warmth churning in your lower belly, and wetness growing between your legs, for sure dampening your panties.

You tugged him back by his hair, so you could reach him for another steamy kiss.

“I’m staying at a motel, if you wanna…” he said, between kisses.

You paused against his lips, parting from him softly.

“Or not," he added. "Just thought I’d mention.” 

You giggled, catching your breath, and then smoothing your hands down his chest. The faint throb of your core was telling you one thing, but the warning signals of your more cautious mind were telling you another. You thought for a moment…but then you sighed. 

“How long are you really in town?” you asked.

His wet lips tugged to one corner, ruefully. “A few more days, probably.”

“Right,” you said with a frown. “Russell, I like you. I actually, I really do. If you were sticking around for a while, it’d be one thing. But you’re my best friend’s brother, and I—”

“No, I get it. I can’t predict when I’m gonna be able to swing back into town, and you’ve gotta live your life,” he said, but not without care. He curled an errant strand of hair behind your ear. 

Your heart tugged, almost painfully.

“You’re a good guy, Russell Shaw,” you breathed. “Why can’t you be a good guy who’s staying?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said. Then he cringed, knowing how you felt about sweethearting men. “Ah, sorry—” 

You smiled and covered his mouth with your fingers. 

“It’s okay. You have permission to sweetheart me.” 

After blinking his surprise away, his face eased into a grin.

“Then I’ll wear that badge with honor,” he said. 

Your shoulders shook with laughter when you let your forehead fall against his chest.

Russell remained what he had been throughout the entire night: a gentleman, who accompanied you over to your car.

After another stolen kiss or two in front of your sedan, you parted ways from him with a bit of a heavy heart. You wondered if you made the right decision, or if you should’ve just gone for it for once, instead of second-guessing yourself like usual.

You did know this. The rumble of his Chevelle driving down the opposite road would be imprinted on your memory.

When you returned home, you realized that the house was empty, and in complete darkness.

Charlie still wasn’t home.

Worried, you flicked on the lights and began to text his cell, only to find a note for you on the kitchen counter.

And it worried you even more.

I’m sorry. I’m going to make it right. 

— C.

AN: 😬 Well then! lol We're diving straight into the drama and feels on this one. What did you think of her "barely a date" with Russell? 😂

And where do you think we're going next with Charlie?

Next Time:

Dory was sat next to you on the couch, rubbing your back with sympathy and concern in her own eyes.

“You should call the police,” she advised.

You’d thought of that, but if Charlie was doing something he wasn’t supposed to, then depending on what it was, you didn’t necessarily want him locked up in a cell. He wasn’t a bad person, he was just…lost. You wanted him to get help.

You set down the butterknife beside the jar and turned to her, after drying your eyes the best you could.

“Do you think your brother would be willing to come back to Wyoming?” you said. After a beat of hesitation, you specified:

“Colter, the tracker.”

▶️ Keep Reading: PART 2

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[superbsupper]

Peek-a-Boo— When Satoru gets caught being nosy, it ends better than he’d hoped.

Suguru x Reader, Satoru x Reader, Satoru x Suguru || Genre: Smut, Fluff at the end || Warnings: Voyeurism, Pantie stealing, Pantie sniffing, Degradation, Oral (m receiving), 3some, Mating press, Hair pulling (f and m receiving), Praise, Unprotected sex (P in V), Spit roasting, Nipple play (m receiving) Over stimulation || WC: 3,184

You were so pretty to Satoru. No matter how much he tried to hate you for, quote, “stealing his friend” he always felt this ache for you.

Did he want to date you? Hell no. He’d rather eat glass and roll around in a pile of used needles. Did he want to fuck you? Hear you moan and whine for him the same way he heard you moan and whine for his best friend? Maybe, but any sane person would.

Satoru had started picking up some bad habits ever since you moved in with him and Suguru. He would be nosy— listening to your conversations, look over your guys’ shoulders, peek at your screens when he didn’t think either of you would notice.

They were small things at first. He was curious, he couldn’t help that he wanted to know what was going on. But his curiosity was starting to turn into something else. He wanted to know more. He wanted to be apart of everything.

That included more.. intimate things.

Every time Satoru did laundry he couldn’t help himself from snatching a pair of your panties from the laundry basket.

It didn’t matter if they were clean or dirty; he’d stuff them in his pocket and when he was sure he was home alone, he’d beat his cock with your panties on his nose, inhaling the scent like it was his last source of air.

His tip red and leaking, his hand moving at a fast pace while he arched his back off of the bed, chants of ‘pleasepleasepleaseplease’ coming from his lips quietly, begging himself for relief.

Every time without fail, Satoru would cum in your panties. He made sure to smear his tip all over the gusset, making sure it was soaked. He would clean himself up with them, then throw them into your laundry, burying them a bit so you wouldn’t find the nasty mess he left.

Satoru couldn’t help listening in sometimes. Whether it was the loud conversations you’d have on the phone or the loud sex you and Suguru had.

The walls were thin and every day Satoru thanked whatever being above for that. His bed was pressed against the wall closest to Sugurus wall, and almost every night Satoru got his own show.

Sure, he couldn’t see it (yet), but he sure could hear it. From what he had heard and how chipper you seemed in the mornings, Suguru was dicking you down good.

“S-Suguru! Suguru ‘s too much!” Your words were slurred and whiny, your moans coming out with every loud slapping plunge of Sugurus hips that Satoru could hear from the other side of the wall.

“Cmon.. you can take it pretty.. you’re gonna take it like the good slut you are, yeah?” Sugurus words were so cocky and mean, just as mean as his thrust sounded.

And Satoru couldn’t help but try to match the little ‘plap plap plap’s from the other side of the wall while stroking his length.

Moving his hand in sync with Suguru, biting his lip to muffle any of his whimpers. Satoru couldn’t help but squeeze his hand a bit tighter, imagining it was your tight pussy rather than his hand.

It was like torture to Satoru. Only being able to hear how well Suguru blows your back out, when he wanted to at least sneak a little peek.

This was wrong. He knew it was wrong. He could at least have asked. How would he even ask his friend for something like this thought? “Hey if it’s cool with you can I sit in your closet and jerk off while I watch you and your girlfriend, who I hate, fuck?”

Which was exactly what Satoru was doing.

His thumb rubbed the slit of his tip, Satoru huffing quietly with a flushed face. He tried to hold in his moans, seeing how far Suguru could bend you back was better than imagined.

Suguru had you in a mating press— knees to your chest being held by his big hands, his hips gyrating as he panted above you. “Such a good slut.. you love when I make you dumb on this dick, don’t you?”

And all you could do in reply was nod, babbling and moaning about how he’s ’too big’ and how it’s ’too much’, your little whines only egging Suguru on.

He loved seeing you like this. Whining and whimpering under him, hiccuping all dumb with your legs shaking and your juices leaking on the bed.

Satoru thought he was in the clear. No one noticed him. He got into the closet before you and Suguru even got home. He’s fine, as long as he’s quiet and—

“Satoru.. come on, why don’t you get a closer look…?”

His heart drops and he haunts his movements, everything going quiet except for the sound of your panting and moaning.

Maybe he could just pretend he didn’t hear him. Suguru didn’t really know he was in here, did he? He’s just messing around. Maybe Sugurus trying to mess with you.

“…Satoru…”

Only when Satoru hears you whine his name, your head lolling off the edge of the bed with a fucked out expression, does Satoru breathe.

Eventually you and Suguru hear shuffling, a flustered shirtless Satoru, very obviously hard in his sweats. He seemed a little out of breath, the blush you could see on his face spread to his neck and chest.

“So you’re just gonna watch us in my closet like some dirty pervert?” Sugurus words were quick to come out, a snarky look on his face. He was always a little playful and sarcastic, but Suguru was never this mean.

You were still laid down, a sheen of sweat on your shaky body. The room was dim but the light from the side table illuminated your features with a warm soft glow.

“I asked you something.” His voice is more firm this time, pulling out of you, cooing internally at the little whine you let out at the loss of contact.

All Satoru can do is swallow thickly and shift uncomfortably, trying to adjust him self subtly under his friends intense gaze. Satoru clears his throat and tries answering with a shameful expression, one that a disobedient dog would have.

“…Well.. I—“ He’s interrupted by a laugh, Suguru pressing a quick kiss to the side of your face and sitting you up, grabbing your jaw and squishing your cheeks together.

The look on your face was lewd, how flushed and out of breath you seemed, your bare body still quivering from the way Suguru had worked you out.

“You wanna try?” Both yours and Sugurus heads tilt, his hand holding your face guiding you before he taps your cheek and you open your mouth. “You can test out her mouth if you want to.”

This wasn’t real. Satoru was dreaming. He had to be.

No way in a thousand years would Suguru share you with anyone. But Satoru wasn’t just anyone to Suguru, they both knew that. You knew that.

The atmosphere was thick and the room was quiet. Even though Satoru was a bit surprised, his arousal was getting to him. “…Are… you serious…?”

A smile and soft huff of laughter escaped Sugurus lips. “Yeah, we’re serious. Aren’t we baby?” And you simply nod in reply, your hooded eyes stuck to his wide blue ones.

There’s hesitation from Satoru. Both of you were so willing. There was no way you guys hadn’t either talked about this before or knew about Satorus dirty habits.

His mind reeled with embarrassment at the thought of you two knowing what he was doing. Did you know about him using your panties? What about him listening?

There was no way. He had been sneaky and neither of you ever said anything or acted like you knew—

“You’re not good at hiding things…” your slightly hoarse voice breaks the silence, Sugurus hand moving down to your neck. He didn’t apply any pressure, just holding it gently.

Heat floods Satoru, a mix of arousal and embarrassed when he realizes what you meant. The flush he had before spreading like a wildfire on his skin.

His wide eyes finally blink and he clears his throat, a little pout forming on his lips before he some under his breath. “I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

Both you and suguru give each other looks before you get up, both of their eyes following you, before you start to dig through your side table.

It feels like Satoru got punched in the face when you pulled out what must have been 10 pairs of panties. Each pair having large stains that could have only been his cum.

“Not very sneaky, Satoru.” The smile on Sugurus face was a bit smug, almost taunting.

“I’m.. not mad…” You shrug and sit back on the bed, looking up at Satoru, legs crossed to keep yourself somewhat modest.

Satoru can only stare. He couldn’t stop thinking this was a dream. That this wasn’t real. He couldn’t tell if this was a fantasy or a nightmare.

He hadn’t even noticed Suguru getting up and moving behind him, his hands grabbing Satorus shoulders, giving them a little shake.

The hands on his shoulders were warm, one of them creeping up to his chin and taking a hold of it between his thumb and fore finger, directing Satoru to face Suguru.

Before Satoru can do anything his lips are pressed to Sugurus, his eyes widening and a gasp escaping his lips.

They were familiar with each other, experimenting was normal for them. But it felt entirely different with you sitting on the bed watching, your eyes focused directly on their connected lips.

A moan escapes Satoru when Sugurus hands move to Satorus perked nipples, giving them a gently pinch and soothing rubs.

Their tongues meet, lips parted and pressed together, Suguru grinding into Satoru from behind while playing with Satorus nipples.

They only separate when Suguru nips at Satorus bottom lip, pinching his nipples playfully before directing his gaze to you.

“Just gonna watch?” Suguru teases lightly with a smile before you stand up, walking over and putting your hands on Satorus waist band.

Satoru gives a little nod, a silent sign of permission as you start to pull down his sweats, his hard cock slapping his stomach when finally freed.

Pre-cum leaked from his flushed tip, twitching when you wrap your soft hand around his cock, pumping it slowly while Suguru continued to play with Satorus nipples.

“Satoru…” Sugurus whisper against the shell of Satorus ear caused him to shiver, more pre spilling and lubricating your slow moving hand.

All he can do is whimper, his nipples being tweaked and his dick being stroked at a leisurely pace.

Your hair is grabbed gently by Suguru, both of you silently communicating. Satoru looks down at you as you sink down to your knees, your hair held back out of your face.

Satorus eyes squeeze shut when your soft lips wrap around him, your tongue massaging the slit of his tip, tasting the bitter sweet syrup spilling from him.

“Open your eyes. If you can watch me dick her you can watch her suck you off.” Satorus nipple is pinched a bit harder, causing his eyes to fall back onto you.

It was a lewd sight. You were looking directly up a him with half his cock halfway down your throat, your face flushed and your hair out of your face.

When he moves his gaze just a little further down he sees your fingers stuffed in your pussy, moving in tandem with the movements of your head.

Sugurus gaze matches Satorus, his grip on your hair tightening as he pulls you off of Satoru. “You’re being a whore. You want both our cocks? Want us to stuff your holes?”

Heat pools between your thighs, nodding before speaking in a quiet tone. “Please..”

A smug look comes to Sugurus face, letting go of your hair and taking his hand off of Satorus nipples, grabbing his jaw instead.

“Ask him, not me.”

Your gaze goes to Satoru instead, pressing your cheek gently against his hard dick and nuzzling it gently. “Satoru.. please… want you to stuff me with Suguru…”

Who is he to say no.

Satoru stands at the end of the bed, Suguru behind you and rubbing himself between your folds, catching you clit with his tip a couple of times.

The way you would flinch made Suguru him with satisfaction, his hand grabbing the back of your hair. “Go on, suck it…”

When your mouth opens and takes Satoru once again, Suguru starts to push in to you.

You moan around Satoru, who gently starts to take over holding your hair back, pushing your head down a bit further until your nose is touching the little tuff of hair on his lower stomach.

Both of the men bottom out, Suguru starting to set a rhythm, holding your hips up against him.

Each thrust caused you to take Satoru deeper down your throat, the deeper he went down your throat the tighter it felt.

“Is this what you were hoping for?” Suguru looks to his friend, huffing as he started to pick up his pace. “You wanted to try and get a taste?”

Satoru groans, your tight throat and Sugurus words were getting to him. Everything happening right now was making him feel a bit dizzy, his face hot and his eyes lidded.

One of your hands grips Satorus thigh, breathing heavily through your nose and moaning when both of them speed up.

“Y-you’re so lucky. Both of you—“ Satoru cuts himself off, his abs flexing for a moment as he tries to hold himself back.

He speaks between pants, his brows furrowed while looking at you swallowing everything he was giving. “You get to spend time with him, feels like I never see him anymore. But— god I understand him. Your mouth is so hot..”

Moans escape your throat at his words, Satoru pulling you off for a moment to hold himself back, letting you catch your breath a bit.

But that’s cut short when Suguru starts to fuck you harder, his grip on your hips bruising, the force of his thrust recoiling.

“Such a good girl.. taking 2 cocks at once..” Suguru coos, before he grins up at Satoru, his tone becoming a bit mocking. “What? Is her mouth too much for you?”

That makes Satorus competitive nature flare up, pushing back into your mouth with a little whimper he prayed neither of you heard.

“S-shut up.. don’t act like you aren’t whipped for her.” Satorus tone was a bit sharper, his brows furrowed as he tried to match Sugurus pace.

Your jaw ached and you couldn’t help but clench down on Suguru, sucking them in from both ends.

The pleasure was starting to get to Satoru despite his need to prove himself. His resolve was faltering the same way his thrusts were.

“Shit! D-don’t tighten your throat like that…” Satoru furrowed his brows, tugging your hair a bit and making you whine softly.

Suguru was keeping up his facade, but he was starting to lose it just the same as Satoru. The sight of you and Satoru both losing yourselves to pleasure was driving him crazy.

He wondered if this would happen again, if he could have both of you like this more often. He knew both of you loved him. And both of you seemed okay with this right now, but about in the morning.. neither of you would regret it, would you?

His thoughts were interrupted when he caught Satorus gaze dropping to you, pants and moans falling from his open mouth.

You weren’t any better, eyes rolled back and your toes curled. Suguru could feel you clamping down on him, Satoru could feel your choked moans and whines.

It was a sight to behold, Suguru felt himself starting to falter, his hips snapping a bit faster into you.

“Look at me, Toru.” The whines that had been escaping Satoru got louder when his head was tugged back by his hair.

One of Sugurus hands held tight onto your soft hip, the other hand keeping Satoru from looking away.

It was a pretty sight to Suguru; rarely did he get to see his friend in such a vulnerable position. His face flushed and sweaty, his expression was dirty and fucked out.

“I know you wanna cum.. don’t worry, she’ll swallow all the— Fuck… M-mess..” Suguru was starting to falter himself.

His rhythm was getting as sloppy as Satorus, my brows furrowed and the smile that was on his face now gone.

The back of Satorus neck is grabbed by Suguru, both of them kissing while sloppily thrusting into your holes, both chasing the highs they had been working so hard for.

You were getting close yourself, you could taste your orgasm on the tip of your tongue. The heat in your belly was getting hotter and hotter, the need to release it was getting to be too much.

Suguru let’s go if your hip to rub messy frantic circles into your clit, pushing you over the edge into your peak.

The vibrations from your moans cause Satorus hips to stutter then go still, his balls tightening as he shoots cum down your throat, his jaw going slack and a loud whine escaping mouth.

A breathy laugh escapes Suguru, his movements turning quick and frantic. “God you two are so desperate— That’s it, keep squeezing me like that baby..”

Despite you being overstimulated you nod and take it, back arched as Suguru slammed his hips into you, your ass bouncing back onto his pelvis.

Suguru chokes on his own spit, losing his cool and faltering when Satorus lips connect to his nipple, licking and sucking on the sensitive bud.

He throws his head back, shooting his load into you, groaning and slowing down with a tight grip on your hips.

Pants fill the room, all of you trying to catch your breath from everything that had just happened.

They both pull out if you, Satoru laying next to you, his head on your chest, both of you too tired to bicker or push eachother off.

There’s a soft kiss placed on your cheek, Suguru going to the bathroom and coming back with a towel for you and Satoru.

He cleans you both up a bit, before laying down and cuddling up to you under the blanket. “You two did so good.. such a good job satisfying me and each other…”

Both of you were already fast asleep, leaving Suguru to look at you and Satoru cuddled up together.

Usually you two would bicker with each other. Suguru was well aware of how jealous Satoru could get because of you.

But seeing the both of you snuggling with eachother, looking at peace, it made his heart warm.

He kisses Satorus forehead and your cheek, before he gets comfortable under the blanket with the both, falling asleep with a feeling of satisfaction and content.

AN: First time writing smut and I didn’t know how to end it 😭 I went a little overboard so it’s kinda long

[rottenfyre]

⸻ ᴡ ᴏ ʟ ᴠ ᴇ ʀ ɪ ɴ ᴇ ⸻

Pairing: James Howlett x Fem Reader

Headcanon: how would he be when he's obsessed?

Note: English is not my first language. Requested by lovely @fexi626. Hope you enjoy!

Logan first notices you when you move into the same small town he’s been hiding out in. It’s supposed to be a temporary stop for him—stay low, avoid attention, move on. But then there’s you, sweet and quiet, with a kindness that catches him completely off guard. It’s the way you smile when you pass him at the local diner or the soft “Good morning” you murmur when you see him on the street. It sparks something primal inside him.

Logan’s the kind of guy who tries to convince himself to stay out of it. "Don’t need to drag her into my mess," he tells himself, nursing a beer at the bar while you laugh with your friends a few tables over. But he keeps looking your way, and when some jackass sidles up to you and tries getting handsy, Logan’s out of his chair before he’s even thought it through.

The guy gets the message fast—hard not to when Logan slams him into the nearest wall. "You touch her again, you’re leavin’ here in pieces. Got it?" The look in his eyes isn’t one anyone would argue with, not if they wanted to keep breathing.

After that, Logan decides he’s gonna keep an eye on you. For your own good, he tells himself. You’re too damn sweet, too damn trusting, and the world’s full of people who’d take advantage of that. He’s doing you a favor, really. "You don’t even know how much trouble’s out there, darlin’," he mutters, walking a few steps behind you on your way home, just close enough to make sure nothing happens.

Logan’s not subtle, though he thinks he is. You start noticing him everywhere—leaning against the counter at the diner where you work, walking past your building more times than coincidence could explain. When you ask him about it, he just shrugs. "Town ain’t that big. Guess we keep runnin’ into each other." But there’s something in his tone, in the way his eyes linger on you, that makes it feel like more.

He starts inserting himself into your life. Fixing your car when it won’t start. Showing up at the bar when you’re out with friends. "Just lookin’ out for you," he says gruffly when you question it. "Not like anyone else around here’s got the balls to."

Logan’s protectiveness is… intense. If someone so much as looks at you wrong, he’s ready to start a fight. And if someone flirts with you? Forget it. You don’t even hear about half the times he’s dealt with someone behind the scenes. He doesn’t see it as a problem—it’s just him taking care of things. "Don’t need you worryin’ about shit like that. That’s my job."

Despite the rough edges, there’s a softness to him when it comes to you. When you’re upset, he doesn’t say much—just pulls you close, lets you bury your face in his chest while he rubs your back. "I got you," he murmurs, his voice low and steady. "Ain’t nothin’ gonna hurt you while I’m around."

But make no mistake—his love comes with a possessive streak a mile wide. If you ever tried to pull away, Logan wouldn’t take it well. He wouldn’t yell or plead; he’d just… make sure you understood. "You don’t get it, do you? You’re mine, darlin’. Always gonna be. Doesn’t matter where you go—I’ll find you. And I’ll bring you back."

Logan doesn’t think of himself as a good man, but when it comes to you, he’s downright delusional. "You deserve better, I know that. But better ain’t what you got. You got me. And I ain’t lettin’ go."

His jealousy burns hot, but his devotion runs even deeper. You’re the one thing in his life that makes him feel… human. And he’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, even if it means crossing every line he swore he wouldn’t. "The world’s a shitshow, sweetheart. But you? You’re the only good thing in it. Don’t expect me to let that go."

Logan’s a rough-around-the-edges—possessive, protective, and dangerously loyal. He doesn’t sugarcoat things, doesn’t try to hide who he is. His love is raw, fierce, and unrelenting, just like the man himself.

@ʀᴏᴛᴛᴇɴꜰʏʀᴇ 2024. ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴏʀ ᴜꜱᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴇʙꜱɪᴛᴇꜱ.

[actuallybridgetjones]

Worst Wolverine praising you and showing how much he loved you

hi anon! thank you so much for your ask, i really hope you like it!! anyone feel free to send more as you please.

a/n: english isn’t my first language so if something doesn’t make sense i’m really sorry. this was written with worst!logan on mind but i feel it works pretty well for any variant you want, also sorry if it’s out of character! hope you like it 💘

warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, fluff, smut, p in v, riding, pet names (bub, good girl, baby, princess), unprotected sex (don’t do that), slight creampie?, praising, logan talks you through it.

 you were completely at his mercy, something that had became a constant in your relationship. you were straddling his lap with his cock buried deep inside you, moving frustratedly against him.

logan loved the view in front of him. your lip trapped between your teeth, eyes closed in pure bliss, head rolled slightly back. you let out the most gorgeous sounds logan had ever heard and the way your breasts bounced with every move? had logan drooling.

“that’s it bub, keep going” he says as he grasps your hips, not fully taking control as usual but helping you move against him. he groans once he feels your walls flutter around him.

“such a good fucking girl, always so good for me…” one of his hands travels to that back of your head, making you look at him with a strong hold of your hair.

he presses your lips to his, kissing you deeply and feverishly but with all the feelings he has for you in there. once he pulls away he keeps guiding your movements.

“that’s it baby, keep going, doin’ so good… fuck…” you become a mess of moans and whines, his name the only thing on your lips “oh logan… i’m close”.

“come for me bub, come on, be a good girl for me…” his hoarse and low voice is enough to send you over the edge, his hands moving you so that you ride out your high as soft praises leave his lips.

“oh logan” you shake and squirm, coming undone on top of him, your head finding the crook of his neck as you pant. you feel his hips move from under you to pound into your sensitive core, chasing his own high. “that’s it baby did so-so good f’me” he mutters under his breath, his hips faltering.

one, two, three pounds later have logan coming deep inside of you, which has you squirming again, his liquid hot against your most intimate parts.

“always taking me so well baby” he whispers against your hair, wishing he could show you how much you meant to him, how much he loved you. logan never was one for pretty words, but hell, for you he wanted to be.

he kissed your hair, pulling your face from his neck and you’ve never seen a more loving look. a soft smile adorns his face, his eyes roaming over your every facial feature. you smile tenderly at him, one hand moving to caress his bearded jaw.

“oh bub, how in hell did i get so lucky?” he rhetorically asks, his voice surprisingly soft, his hands tracing lazy patterns against your back, raveling in the intimacy of it all, of how much he craved it.

“i love you lo”

“i love you too princess, more than you could know” he says kissing your forehead, a gesture that instantly makes you melt and you can just smile like a fool. “let’s get you cleaned up bub” he says and lifts you up, moving both of you into the bathroom. both taking care of each other, showering not only in water but in love and blissfulness because after all, after logan being so lonely and misunderstood for so long, he was finally home.

[bubblesgarden]

always you — john b x reader

｡˚○ navigation

summary: you and john b have been friends for years, but when kiara carrera comes along, things become different.

author's note: hi guys ! this is my very first piece of work i've posted here and i really hope you enjoy it ♡ if you did, please consider giving this a like, reblog, or comment ! feel free to give me a follow if you'd like to see more ♡

you were just eight years old when you first met john b. he had scraped knees and an untamed mop of hair, but his smile was infectious— like how the sun shone through your curtains on a summer morning, or when you listened to a song for the first time and would have it on repeat constantly. and before you knew it, you were spending every single day together. the two of you inseparable, running wild, dreaming up adventures, and sharing secrets that you swore would never leave the walls of the chateau.

for years, it was you and him— two kids hand in hand, against the world. at least, it felt that way.

but then kiara carrera came along. she was cool, easy going, and fit into the group so effortlessly that you couldn’t really blame john b for wanting to hang out with her. at first, it didn’t bother you— after all, kie was great. but slowly, you noticed the dynamic start to shift.

the days where it was just you and john b became fewer and farther between. instead of running off to hide up in the treehouse in your backyard for hours, or lay smushed up together on the hammock at the chateau while you stared at the stars to talk about everything and nothing, he was suddenly too busy. too preoccupied. with kiara. 

at first, you tried to convince yourself it didn’t matter. john b was allowed to have other friends. but as days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, the sting of being phased out by your best friend since childhood was too much to ignore.

one night, after another gathering around a fire where you felt like a shadow in your own group; constantly being talked over or ignored completely, you decided you’d had enough.

you didn’t exactly know what you were going to say— there were too many things running through your mind that you were positive it was all going to turn into a bunch of word vomit when you’d eventually face him. or you’d end up freezing. there was no in between unfortunately. 

so when you finally approached the chateau, you found john b sitting on the porch, sipping on a beer as he gazed out at the stars. the glow of the moonlight highlighted the familiar curve of his jaw, and those messy curls you had ruffled a thousand times before.

“can we talk?” you ask, skipping the introductions and small talk. that would just make this worse, you thought. you stepped up onto the creaky wood, arms crossed over your chest, almost in a way to hold yourself together. 

he turned to you, surprised. almost like he had forgotten you existed— surprised to see you here, where you had been day after day, and night after night, during your years of being friends. it wasn’t unusual at all for you to show up unannounced, but right now, with that look on his face, apparently it was unusual. 

“yeah, of course,” he nodded, motioning for you to sit down on the tattered, old couch on the porch. sitting down beside him, you folded your arms around your knees. for a moment, the silence stretched between you, awkwardness and the sound of cicadas filling the void.

“what happened to us?” you broke the silence, voice barely above a whisper but still steady as you turn your head to look at him. he hadn’t changed much all these years— still had that stupid boyish charm that seemed to get him out of trouble, and those same, soft eyes. 

you felt him stiffen besides you, and you almost scoffed. “what do you mean?” he asks, his tone matching yours.

“you know what i mean,” you sigh, the hurt you’d been bottling up spilling into your words. “it used to be you and me. we spent every day together. and then all of a sudden kie came along, and it’s like… i don’t exist anymore.”

his brows furrowed, and you saw the guilt flash across his face. “that’s not true.” you could pinpoint his defensive tone from a mile away— the same tone he would use when he got in trouble for something he did do, but always tried to claim he didn’t. 

“isn’t it?” you laugh bitterly, shaking your head a little. “come on, john b. you barely talk to me anymore. if i didn’t come looking for you, i don’t even think you would have noticed i wasn’t around.”

“that’s not fair.”

“neither is feeling like i lost my best friend.”

the crack in your voice must’ve struck something inside him because you watched as his defences crumbled. he set his beer down, running a hand through his already messy curls as he sighed deeply.

“it wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he spoke, his voice quiet.

“then why was it?” you pressed, eyes still trained on him.

he hesitated for a moment, his eyes darting away before they finally met yours again. “because i screwed up.”

your brows furrowed, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he said quietly.

john b exhaled shakily. “i started… feeling things i wasn’t supposed to feel. about you. and i thought if i got closer to kie, it would— i don’t know, distract me or something. make it go away.” he laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “but it didn’t. it just made everything worse because i couldn’t stop thinking about you.” 

your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him, the weight of his confession settling over you like a blanket. “so, what? you just pushed me away instead of telling me the truth?”

“i didn’t want to ruin what we had.” his voice cracked, and for the first time, you saw the fear in his eyes. “you’re my best friend, and if you didn’t feel the same way— i can’t lose you, (y/n). i thought maybe if i kept my distance, it would hurt less.” 

you swallowed the lump in your throat, emotions churning in your stomach. anger, hurt, but underneath it all, a flicker of something you had buried a long time ago. 

“john b—”

“i’m sorry,” he cut you off, voice barely above a whisper. “i didn’t mean to hurt you. i just— i didn’t know what else to do.”

you searched his face, the boy you’d known for many years looking at you like he was afraid you might disappear. that you might run away and never speak to him again. 

“you’re an idiot,” you laughed softly, shaking your head. 

he looked startled, blinking in confusion. “what?”

“all this time, you were scared of ruining our friendship, and you didn’t even think to ask how i felt.”

“how you felt?” he repeated, brow furrowing. the pure confusion over his features made you want to laugh, but instead you just rolled your eyes. 

“i liked you too, john b. i still do.”

his eyes widened slightly, hope flickering in them like the fireflies dancing in the yard. “you do?”

“yeah,” you admitted, your voice softening. “but you’re going to have to make up for being a complete idiot about it.”

a slow, disbelieving grin spread across his face. “i think i can manage that.” 

before you could get another word out, he leaned in, hand brushing against yours as he closed the distance. the kiss was tentative at first, a question in the way his lips moved against yours. but when you didn’t pull away, you felt as he deepened the kiss, like he was trying to make up for all that time he’d wasted worrying. 

when you finally broke apart, he let out a breathless chuckle, resting his forehead against yours. 

“i’m never phasing you out again,” he promised.

“oh so you were phasing me out?” you tease, resulting in several pokes to your side by the curly haired male in protest.

“okay— okay! but seriously. you better not,” you said, a small smile pulling at your lips.

and just like that, it was you and john b again. always had been. always would be.

[deadratdonoteat]

Based of the song Casual. Friends with benefits but on if you caught feelings.

Roronoa Zoro x reader

Tags- angst but fluff

W.C= 1.7k

The beating sun brought sweat to my skin. The thin t-shirt I was wearing didn’t cool me off enough. Even the jean shorts weren’t enough. The ship swayed with the waves. “This Sucks,” I complained.

“Shut up, loser!” Nami shouted at the small table we both sat at, “Don't call me that” I glared. She scooped up the few coins on the table into her shirt.

“Well you keep losing, so you're a loser!” She chimed. Sighing, standing up, I began to walk away. “Going to your swordsman?” I could basically hear the smugness of her. Ignoring her I walked to the front deck, where I knew he’d be. And there he was, lifting weights. Leaning on the wooden rail to watch. His muscles flexed as he raised the weight. Sweat shined down his forehead.

“Creep,” he mumbles purposely loud enough for me to hear. I chuckle at his words. A small smile grows on his face.

“You know you love it when I watch you,” I roll my eyes at him. He shrugs his shoulders but you know it's true. Honestly you hoped he loved you. You two were more than friends. Though it was never official, how you two act with each other is more than friends. The countless times you've been alone together, pressed against walls in a flurry of hushed touches and kisses. None of the crew knew that when you and Zoro were alone, you’d basically makeout instead of doing what's needed. Zoro's voice cut me from my thoughts.

“Staring at me like a lover,” he laughed. I guess when I zoned out my eyes stayed on him. Him saying that hurt a little but it was just a joke. I laughed along with him but what he said cut deeper, “We're not together..” He looked away and continued working out. Why would he say that? It’s not like I said we were or tried to argue with his previous statement. Was he purposely trying to hurt me?

-

Zoro and I were left alone to guard the ship. Nami knew what she was doing with leaving us alone. Me and him watched as the crew's figures disappeared. As soon as they were no longer in sight, I turned to ask something but was cut off by the moss head’s lips crashing into mine. My eyes widened. His hand cradled the back of my head, his other hand on my waist. He had never been this needy. Who does he think he is doing this after saying such hurtful things earlier? As he pulled away something in his eyes told me he wanted more. He enjoyed it so why was he denying it?

“No attachments, baby,” He said while walking into the kitchen. I was left alone. My eyes are still wide but not with surprise. Did he really say that? He really said ‘No attachment’ right after pulling me into a kiss? I'm so confused.

-

The crew sat at a restaurant. Luffy demands meat and making Usopp pay. Sitting next to the swordsman like usual. EVeryone would know something was wrong if you didn’t.

“Y/n, open wide,” a deep voice spoke. Turning to look at the green haired man, his fork was right in front of me with a slice of meat on it. I could see Nami’s smile from the corner of my eye. If some stranger saw me and him they’d definitely assume we were a couple. After he fed me the meat, Liffy started asking Zoro to feed him his meat too, which ended with yelling.

After leaving the restaurant with full bellies and Usopp’s empty wallet. The moon shined bright enough to light up the paths.

“I’m headed to get Sake,” Zoro declared, grabbing my arm and heading to some shop. I could hear Sanji call out to keep me safe, but Zoro just scoffed. The small shop smelled awful, probably a smell Zoro loved. At the checkout counter, the old man started small talk.

“What a lovely couple,” he said slowly. He was a small man. Zoro placed what he wanted on the counter, and looked at me expectantly.

“Want me to pay?” He nodded, “Is that why you brought me along,” he nodded again at my question. I thought he wanted company. The cashier cleared his throat. When I was about to answer, Zoro cut me off.

“We're just casual friends,” he claimed. It was weird, he was starting to do too much. The old man just looked at my expression of confusion. I’m sure he knew what was going on.

-

I left the deck to grab drinks for Robin and Nami. As soon as Nami made sure I was gone she turned to the swordsman.

“Alright Zoro, what are your feelings for Y/n?” Nami asked with frustration, she was tired of seeing her close girl friend be sad over a guy. Zoro looked at the navigator with his brows furrowed.

“WHat are you talking about?” He asked. Robin was listening into the conversion, just acting like she was reading. Nami sighed in frustration at his thick skull.

“Y/n! The super pretty chick, the seamstress that fixes all our clothes, the one who always accompanies you so your not lonely, and even carries your ass when you black out from battle or from drinking?” Nami dragged on, making sure he got the concept. Zoro had sometimes wondered how he’d wake up in a soft bed with water next to him and you’d always be there to make sure he's okay.

“Yeah? What about her?” He rolled his eyes and turned away from the two girls. He could feel Nami’s anger boil behind him. He was about to tune out everything until he heard laughter. Your laughter. He would be able to find it in a crowd, his knees would always go slightly weak when you laughed. He turned around to see what was making you laugh, but the sight made his blood boil.

Sanji was carrying a tray with tropical looking drinks, while fawning over you. Your cheeks were slightly pink with blush. That damn cook was making you laugh and blush? Zoro gritted his teeth. Oh how badly Zoro wished to punch that piss head away and carry you away in his arms. Zoro stopped himself. WHat was he thinking? Take you away? And then what? Get a small house by the sea and he’d get to show you off to everyone? God it sounded nice. Zoro shook his head. These thoughts are why he needs to get away from you. Even in the middle of battle zoro would only think about you. If you were safe or when the next time he’d be able to kiss your angelic lips again. He was starting to sound like the cook. A shiver went down his back just thinking about it.

The first time he kissed you was because he could hold it back anymore. You're just so beautiful, smart, and stupidly charming. That night when you both had watched together. You looked like a goddess in the moonlight. He couldn’t stop himself from leaning in and he was thankful when you didn’t pull away. SInce then he struggles to not touch or kiss you everytime he sees you.

-

“Y/n, we need to talk,” Zoro spoke slowly. Walking through the woods to get to the others after Zoro insisted he knew the way. Your heart sank. What was he going to talk about? A million thoughts swarmed your head. He stopped in his tracks, you stopped right behind him.

“Nami tol dme something,” his words made your heart stop. Did Nami seriously rat you out?

“What is it, Zoro?” you asked timidly. Sure you can fight devil fruit users, get shot, almost drown and not think anything of it. But the second you're alone with Zoro everything is thrown out the window. He turned around to look at you, his head tilted down to fully see you. As you looked up you could sense where this was going to go.

“Nami talked to me about some feelings you had,” He confessed. His eyes looked away. Your face heated up from embarrassment. “ANd i think I need to straighten some things out,” he continued, “Y/n I-” “You see me only as a casual friend, I get it,” you cut him off coldly. You didn’t want him to say it. It would hurt too much. He sighed. Your eyes started to water. The guy you were basically in love with just rejected you, even after weeks of kissing each other like lovers. He’s going to blow you off like this? His left hand rested on your shoulder, his right one coming up to your chin.

“That’s not what I was going to say,” he chuckled. He raised your head to look at him, your eyes widened. What could he possibly want to say? The moon casted a halo around his taller frame. He looked angelic. He leaned in close, his breath hitting your ear.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to be more than ‘casual friends’” his warm breath heated my neck. My face felt hotter from his confession. Was this a dream? He pulled back and looked into your eyes. “Is that alright baby?” he asked. Your heart skipped a beat.

“Yes! Yes, yes a million times ye-” his lips crashed into yours.

-

Bonus-

After agreeing to keep it a secret from the crew you two got back with them. The ship rocked as you all boarded.

“What's that on your face, Zoro?” Nami asked with her usual smug smile. The crew all turned to look at him. Sanji’s jaw dropped to the floor as he looked between the two of you.

“FInally,” Robin sighed, walking to the upper deck. Both yours and Zoror’s eyebrows were raised. WHat were they talking about? Turning to look at each other, you froze. You may or may not have forgotten you were trying out a new red lipstick tonight. Zoro’s lips were stained red as well as kiss marks all around his face. Your cheeks flushed. Zoro’s eyes widened at your smeared lipstick on your lips, he could put two and two together.

So much for keeping it a secret.

<3

[slytherinzz]

Right time, wrong moment

Summary: Sebastian and MC share an undeniable electric connection that grows more intense over time. Their flirtation escalates, culminating in a passionate kiss at a Slytherin party. However, when things almost progress further, Sebastian hesitates, unwilling to risk their relationship in a reckless moment fueled by Firewiskey and desire.

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x F!reader

Warnings: slight hint of sexual acitivities: aged up characters ofcourse! Mentions of Alcohol.

A/n: I hope everyone is enjoying this fics as much as I do :) Would love to get back to requests, so if you have a great idea, let me know!

There was always something electric between Sebastian and MC. It was subtle at first, in the way his eyes lingered a bit too long on hers or how he always found a reason to sit closer to her than necessary. Over time, though, the flirting had grown bolder.

“Don’t tell me you’re struggling with this potion, MC,” Sebastian teased one day during Potions class, his voice low enough for only her to hear. “If you need help, I’d be happy to assist… for a kiss.”

MC’s cheeks flamed, and she struggled not to knock over her cauldron. “Sebastian!”

“What?” he said, grinning. “Just a fair trade.”

Ominous, sitting on the other side of the table, groaned audibly. “Merlin, will you two stop? The rest of us are trying to focus on actual potion-making, not this absurd courtship.”

MC shot Ominous a glare, but Sebastian only laughed. “Courtship, huh? I like the sound of that.”

It wasn’t just in classes. In the library, he’d slide her books closer to her with a casual touch, his fingers brushing hers. On the way to the Great Hall, he’d lean closer than necessary to whisper some cheeky remark that made her pulse race.

It was maddening.

What frustrated her the most was that she didn’t know if it meant anything. Sebastian had always been charming—too charming. Girls still watched him from across the common room, hoping for his attention, though he hadn’t shown interest in anyone since their fifth year. That didn’t stop her from wondering if she was just another game to him.

When MC heard about the Slytherin party, she almost declined. It wasn’t really her scene—loud music, flowing Firewhiskey, and far too many students crammed into the common room. But Anne had encouraged her to go, and Ominis had promised to keep an eye out for trouble.

And Sebastian? Well, Sebastian had grinned and said, “You’re coming, right? Wouldn’t be a party without you.”

She couldn’t say no to that.

The Slytherin common room was alive with music and chatter when she arrived. The dark, moody lighting was offset by green and silver decorations, and students were already laughing and drinking in groups.

MC found herself with a glass of Firewhiskey in hand not long after, chatting with Poppy and Natty near the fireplace. She wasn’t much of a drinker, but the warmth spreading through her chest and the laughter all around her helped her relax.

It wasn’t long before Sebastian found her.

“You’re hiding,” he accused, leaning against the wall beside her.

“I’m not hiding,” she said, though she couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

“You are,” he insisted, stepping closer. His voice dropped, playful and intimate. “What’s the matter? Afraid I’ll drag you into something you’ll enjoy too much?”

Her heart skipped a beat. He was too close, his eyes too intent on hers.

“Maybe I’m just avoiding trouble,” she said, her voice shaky.

“Trouble?” he repeated, his smirk widening. “Oh, MC. You are trouble.”

Before she could retort, someone turned the music louder, and the crowd surged around them. Sebastian grabbed her hand, pulling her toward a quieter corner near the stairs to the dormitories.

It was quieter there, though the music and laughter still hummed in the background.

“You know,” he said, his voice softer now, “I’m glad you came tonight.”

She looked up at him, her heart racing. “You are?”

“Of course,” he said, his gaze flickering to her lips. “It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

The Firewhiskey in her system made her bolder, braver. “You say that to all the girls?” she asked, trying to sound teasing but feeling vulnerable.

His expression shifted, the playful smirk softening into something deeper. “No,” he said simply.

And then he kissed her.

It wasn’t gentle. It was hungry and desperate, like he’d been waiting for this moment for years. Her back hit the wall as his hands cupped her face, and she kissed him back just as fiercely, her fingers tangling in his hair.

All the tension between them, all the lingering touches and unspoken words, exploded in that kiss. She barely noticed the noise of the party anymore. It was just him—Sebastian, warm and intoxicating and everything she’d ever wanted.

His hands slid to her waist, pulling her closer, and she gasped softly against his lips. The sound seemed to embolden him, his fingers tracing the curve of her hips. Her heart pounded as her own hands roamed up his chest, his shirt warm and slightly rumpled beneath her touch.

He pulled back just enough to whisper, “Come with me.”

Her breath hitched. “To where?”

“My dorm,” he said, his voice low and full of promise.

She hesitated for a fraction of a second, but the way he looked at her—with a mix of longing and something close to reverence—made her nod.

The walk to his dorm was a blur. They were both unsteady on their feet, the Firewhiskey and the adrenaline making them clumsy. But when they reached his room and the door shut behind them, the world seemed to slow down.

Sebastian kissed her again, softer this time, his hands tracing the curve of her waist. She melted into him, her heart racing.

His lips traveled down her jaw, to the sensitive spot just beneath her ear, and she shivered. His hands slipped beneath the hem of her shirt, the heat of his palms against her skin sending sparks through her veins.

“Sebastian,” she whispered, her voice breathless.

He froze for just a moment before pulling back, his forehead resting against hers. “Tell me if you want me to stop,” he murmured, his voice hoarse.

“I don’t want you to stop,” she said, her hands gripping his shoulders.

His eyes darkened, and for a moment, he kissed her again, deeper, his hands roaming her sides. But then he stilled, his breathing heavy, and he pulled away entirely.

“MC,” he said, his voice shaking. “We can’t.”

Her heart dropped. “What do you mean?”

“I want you,” he said, his words rushing out. “Merlin, I want you more than anything. But not like this. Not when we’ve both been drinking. Not when you might regret it in the morning.”

Her chest tightened, embarrassment and hurt flooding her. “You think I’d regret it?”

“No,” he said quickly, his hands trembling as he cupped her face. “I mean… maybe. I don’t know. But I couldn’t live with myself if you did.” He closed his eyes, his voice breaking. “You mean too much to me, MC. I’ve wanted this for so long. I’ve wanted you for so long. But not like this. I want to remember every second. I want it to be… perfect.”

Tears pricked her eyes, and she nodded stiffly. “I… I understand.”

He looked like he wanted to say more, but she turned and left before he could stop her.

MC woke up with a headache and a heartache that no amount of Pepperup Potion could cure.

Sebastian avoided her at breakfast, which only made the knot in her chest tighten. She couldn’t stop replaying the night in her head—the kiss, the way he’d looked at her, the way he’d stopped.

Ominis found her in the library later that day, his expression unreadable as he sat across from her.

“Sebastian’s been sulking,” he said bluntly.

She flushed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You do,” he said, his tone sharper now. “He cares about you, MC. More than he’s ever cared about anyone. But he’s a bloody idiot, and he’s convinced himself he’s doing the noble thing., and I think he's right''

She looked down at her hands. “He stopped because he didn’t want me.”

“That’s not true,” Ominis said firmly. “He stopped because he wants you too much. He’s terrified of losing you.”

Her heart ached at his words, but doubt still lingered.

It wasn’t until later that evening, when she found Sebastian in the Undercroft, that everything came to a head.

“Why did you stop?” she asked, her voice trembling.

He turned, his eyes wide with surprise. “MC—”

“Was I not good enough for you?” she demanded, her voice breaking.

“Merlin, no!” he said, crossing the room in two strides. “That’s not it at all. You’re… you’re everything to me. Don’t you see that?”

She stared at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Then why?”

“Because I love you!” he shouted, his voice echoing in the stone chamber. “And I didn’t want to ruin it. I didn’t want to ruin us.”

Her breath caught. “You love me?”

“Yes,” he said,

Sebastian took a shaky step closer, his eyes filled with a mix of fear and vulnerability. “I love you, MC. I’ve loved you for years. And I was terrified that if we went through with it last night… like that… I’d hurt you, or you’d wake up and regret it, and I’d lose you forever.”

Her heart twisted painfully, the weight of his words sinking in. “I wouldn’t have regretted it,” she said softly, her voice trembling. “I’ve been in love with you too, Sebastian. For so long. And last night… I thought maybe, finally, you felt the same way.”

He closed his eyes as if her words physically hurt him. “I do. I’ve always felt that way. But I didn’t want our first time together to be because of Firewhiskey and a reckless moment. You deserve more than that. You deserve everything.”

She reached for him, her fingers brushing against his. “And what if all I want is you?”

He let out a ragged breath, his hands shaking as he took hers in his. “Then I promise, I’ll give you all of me. But when it happens… when we happen. I want to remember every second, every look, every touch. I want it to be perfect because you’re perfect to me.”

Her tears spilled over, but this time they weren’t from pain. She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his neck as his hands settled hesitantly on her waist. “You’re an idiot,” she murmured against his shoulder, her voice breaking into a watery laugh.

He laughed softly, the sound tinged with relief. “I probably deserve that.”

They stood there in the quiet warmth of the Undercroft, holding each other as if the rest of the world didn’t exist.

The days that followed were nothing short of transformative. The awkwardness was gone, replaced by a newfound closeness that neither of them had known they were capable of. Sebastian was careful, deliberate in his affection. His touches lingered longer, his kisses softer but filled with unspoken promises.

They spent evenings in the Undercroft, talking about everything and nothing. He’d bring her flowers he charmed to glow faintly in the dark, and she’d tease him about being sappy, though her smile gave her away every time.

And when they finally decided to take the next step, it wasn’t rushed or tinged with doubt. It was slow, intimate, and everything Sebastian had wanted for them.

He made good on his promise, memorizing every detail of her, every sound she made, every look she gave him. And when it was over, he held her close, whispering against her skin, “I love you. I’ll always love you.”

For the first time in years, MC felt whole.

They weren’t perfect—neither of them was—but they were perfect for each other. And as they lay entwined in the quiet of the Room of Requirement, the world outside felt a little less daunting, a little less heavy, because they had each other.

And that was everything.

[darlingshane]

plateau

Jack Harper x F!Reader

Summary: Your relationship with Jack has reached a point where it feels like it's going nowhere. You're not sure what to do anymore to break through that wall he's put up. On a bad day, you decide just to give up altogether. If he's not willing to make an effort so aren't you.

CW: SPOILERS, heavy angst, drama, mention of child neglect, mention of harassment, mention of past relationships, snap judgments, smoking, heartbreak, but HOPEFUL ENDING, I swear.

LONG A/N: Yeah, you've read it right. I wrote a fic for Jack before the show comes out. I think I have enough insight from the book and the details I've found about the show to mix and match a story for him.

I kept some things from the book that are going to change in the show like Jack's niece. She's younger and has a different name in the book that I liked better, so I went with that version instead. Everyone is a little shitty on this story, including reader and Jack, which is on par with the book. And this is written in a similar way the book is. The first half is from reader's pov, and the other half from Jack's pov.

Word Count: 4,1k

— Links: AO3 // Masterlist

It's dark, windy, downright pouring like hell when you head out the door after clocking out of the inn you work at.

Opening your umbrella, you walk against the wind towards the corner that leads to the parking lot. A car passes by fast on your side, driving carelessly over a big puddle that splashes your legs. You turn back and flip him off, but the car is too far gone to see you.

When you bend the corner, you glance around to find his car. It's hidden behind an SUV, and you don't see it until two beams of headlights flash at you twice.

You rush in that direction, trying to avoid getting soaked, but it's impossible. By the time you reach the passenger door, the wind has made sure to push as much water as it could in your direction,

Drenched head to toe, you close the umbrella and climb into the car, yanking the door close as hard as you can.

“Fuck.” You toss the umbrella to the backseat.

“Good evening to you too, sweetheart,” he scoffs behind the wheel.

“Sorry. Just one of these days, you know?”

“Anything I can do?” Jack extends a hand to caress your cold neck. His palm is warm against your skin, collecting the raindrops that fell on you.

“Just take me home. I can't do this right now.”

“Are you sure?”

Without answering, you open Jack's glove box and find that pack of smokes he keeps at the back. He's tried to quit many times but keeps this one here from when the urge arises. You're not a smoker per se, but today you could really use one to calm yourself.

You stick one cigarette between your lips and reach out to the inside pocket of the jacket he's wearing to find a silver zippo lighter.

“Help yourself.”

Lighting it up, you take a long drag and hang your head back against the headrest, letting the smoke intoxicate your lungs before expelling it through your lips.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No. Not really.” You offer him a puff, and he hesitates for a second before picking the cigarette between your fingers.

“Why not?”

“Cause I don't wanna burden you. Besides, this works better if we don't talk, right? That's what you said.”

“I didn't mean it like that.” He passes the cigarette back to you.

“It's fine, Jack. Just drive.”

He tilts his head to the side, staring ahead at the mass of water pelting on the windshield with rage. The sky is violently struck by a massive lightning bolt, outlining in a blue electric shade the mountains that paint the landscape of Dahlonega.

You're sure he wants to protest or even explain what he meant, but he never does. Everything just hangs in the air between you two as usual. It's what you've come to know about Jack Harper. This is transactional for both, an escape from your miserable lives. But right now, this feels just as pathetic. You hate hiding like this, like you're a hooker he has to take to some clandestine dark nook around town to do unspeakable things. He's been divorced for two years and is still afraid of showing you around town, so people don't come to any assumptions. And you hate that. There was a time when you'd find yourself thinking this could become real some day. But it never comes. Your relationship has reached a plateau and if he's not willing to move up higher, then you'd have to move on without him… Eventually. There are things in your life that are keeping you from making that leap. Right now, being in this fixed place feels somewhat safe, even if it isn't where you want to be. Spending time with him, however that looks or means, is better than nothing.

Despite all that, you have bigger problems in your life than Jack being a dormant lover. One of them being your ex constantly harassing you to no end. Mostly via phone. But today he reached a new level of psycho when he showed up in the middle of your shift to ask you for money. He put you in a very difficult situation where you had to give him what you had in your wallet in exchange for him not making a scene. He also threatened you with plastering the building you work at with compromising photos he took of you when you were together. It was probably a mistake to bend up so easily to his extortion antics. You know that this would serve as precedent for him to do the same bit again. And you can't afford that.

Jack has made it clear before that he's not looking for that kind of relationship where you can freely confide in the other. He knows your ex is an asshole, but he has no idea to what degree. And right now, you wish you could tell him, cause you're running out of ideas to keep that fucking dumbass away.

The car veers through the streets, carefully moving under the unwavering storm. The old wipers whine against the glass, exerting themselves to keep the view unobstructed. Inside the car, there's nothing but a heavy silence, broken only by the thunderous roar of the rainstorm. On a night like this, you'd usually drive to your spot in the woods behind the train station or go to that motel in Gainesville if you can, it's always worth the drive. But tonight he's taking you home and doesn't press further on why you've chosen that. Sometimes you wish you could just yell at him, tell him you're drowning, and you're sick of him treating you like garbage, but you won't. Instead, a knot forms in your throat, bottling up all those words that are making your body hurt inside and out. You don't expect him to magically cure any of your imaginary ailments. You just want him to be willing to listen sometimes. That's all you need.

“You could come in, you know? Maybe stay the night?” you suggest when the car pulls up in front of your place, situated in the middle of a row of townhouses that look identical.

“Can't. I gotta check Zoe hasn't burned down the house.”

“How would she do that?”

“Pfft, you name it. Sometimes she leaves the stove on, or falls asleep with a cigarette lit on the couch. Came home once to find one of those hair curling sticks plugged, burning over a towel.”

“Hm, sounds like a handful.”

“I'd bring you with me, but—“

“She hates my guts. I know.”

It's not news to you that Zoe Harper despises you. You went to school with her at St. Hilary's Academy, and the two of you never got along. She was part of the mean clique along with Jack's ex-wife, Anna. Everyone was a target to them, including you. Zoe in particular still has a big hate boner against you, cause she never grew up out of that phase. Even in her thirties with a toddler, she's incapable of letting go of the fact that one of her ex-boyfriends in high school dated you after breaking up with her. She blamed it on you, of course, though you never met him after the fact. Just like your ex, she harassed you until the end of the school year, spreading unbelievable rumors about you. Luckily, everyone knew that was their shtick, and no one ever believed the insane lies that came out of her mouth.

“Is that why you're sleeping with me? To piss your sister off?” You can't help but wonder.

“No, she doesn't know about us. It doesn't take much to piss her off, so I'd be pretty dumb to go through all this trouble when I could just hide her glue gun.”

“Right. Do you think there'd be a time when you could stay? Or go on a date with me during the day?”

“Why are you asking me this now?” He deadpans.

“I don't know, Jack. I'm just wondering. I like you. You seem to like me. These are normal questions people have when they like someone, but I'm guessing from your expression that I have it all wrong.”

Silence. Again.

The man is a wall you can tear down, and you’re not sure why you still try or why you even care the slightless about him when he’s clearly signaling this is nothing but sex to him.

Your phone interrupts that unnerving stillness when it starts blasting a string of messages. Your ex. Probably drunk-texting the usual repertoire about how much of a bitch you are, as if he didn’t have enough with what he did earlier.

You glance down at the phone in your palm, reading the last troubling text he sent, and dare to ask, “say, hypothetically, if someone was harassing you, do you make an appointment with the police, or should someone just show up and report it at the station? How much evidence do you need?”

“What? Is someone harassing you?” He finally responds.

“No, it was just a hypothetical. Indulge me, just for fun.”

“Okay, if someone was being harassed for sure they should go report it. Guess depends on a few factors. You’d need to present proof of a relationship to the respondent, evidence whether it is physical, threats, stalking, harassment… You’d need an explanation of why you believe you’re in immediate danger to issue a temporary restraining order. Wouldn’t hurt to consult a lawyer, either.”

“That’s what I thought. Thanks.” You say curtly, grabbing your bag and tucking your phone inside.

“Is this what’s worrying you today?”

“No,” you shake your head as you reach for the door handle.

“Should I pick you up tomorrow?”

“No. I don’t think you should. Unless you change your mind about staying one night, you shouldn’t come around anymore, Jack. Take care,” you find yourself saying, rushing to leave the car at once. The way you shut the door serves as a period to a chapter that's run on for too long.

Now that you've said it, It’s definite. If he’s going to give you nothing but silence, then you’re not going to waste your time anymore.

Jack hangs his head down after watching you enter your house. There's nothing that he'd love more than to chase you and stay with you, but there's something inside that's keeping him from it. The fear of letting you down and screwing another relationship paralyzes him. That's why he's stunned every time you make an attempt to move forward with this. He has no doubt you'd be better off without him, so he'd rather let you down now than further down the line.

As he drives home, he can't get out of his obtuse mind the way your face changed when you looked at your phone and the hypothetical question that you presented him. You wouldn't be asking if it wasn't real, he believes. Maybe it's for you or for a friend, but he doesn't plan on letting that fall through the cracks like everything else in his life. If someone is harassing you, he can't turn a blind eye and let you get hurt or worse. So, he pins that thought to check on later. Though you've asked him to stay away, he can't disappear without knowing that you're okay.

By the time he parks on the driveway of his childhood home, it's stopped raining. He captures the TV glow through the window before heading inside.

His sister has passed out on the couch as usual watching one of those reality channels. Luckily, no cigarette in hand but a handful of empty beer cans clutter the coffee table between her array of supplies she uses for crafting. When he finds the remote, he switches the TV off and heads upstairs.

There's another light coming from the cracked door of Olivia's room when he climbs the staircase to the second floor. He pushes the door open to find his almost three-year-old niece having a party with her stuffies in the rug.

“Uncle Jack!” The little girl beams when he sees his face.

“What are you still doing up, lil bug?” he smiles, crouching down to hug her.

“I was hungry.”

“You didn't have dinner?”

She shakes her head, “mommy fell asleep.”

It's hard not to think badly of her sister when she does shit like this. He abstains from being judgmental, but tonight, he can't help it. All she has to do is take care of Olivia. She has no job besides selling cheap jewelry and clothes that almost nobody wants. What else is keeping her from meeting her daughter's basic needs? Really. It doesn't make sense to him. Her immaturity never left her, even after having a baby she still acts like a fifteen-year old. Some people don't deserve to be parents, and Zoe is one of them.

If it wasn't for Olivia, he wouldn't put up with Zoe's crap like he does.

He takes her downstairs and whips out something quick for her to eat. In a plate, he puts some chopped baby carrots, crackers, and cheese so she can snack while he fries some fish sticks and mixes some instant mashed potatoes. To be honest, he's not sure how much a toddler should eat at night, but he's going to let her have what she wants cause he's not sure when was the last time she had a full meal.

Olivia seems happy with his choices. She'd be a picky eater if she wasn't so hungry. She quickly devours everything he puts on her plate.

After dinner, Zoe is still deeply asleep in the same place while he helps Olivia to brush her teeth with her tiny brush he bought her the other day. It has a unicorn on the handle, which she adores.

When brushing time is done, he reads her a book and watches her fall asleep in record time.

Spending time with Olivia is lovely. It's such a beautiful picture, his heart aches for that part of him he lost. He was more than ready to be a dad, always hands on when he needed to during those short months she was on this earth.

With the weight of the world quickly settling on top of his shoulders, he retreats back to his room to see if he can put himself together the same way. He takes a shower and shaves the stubble on his face before slipping into bed. He closes his eyes, but after an hour, sleep seems to elude him. Something makes his stomach turn, and not because he's hungry. It's something else entirely. It's a gut feeling that tells him something is going on with you, and you’re not willing to tell him because he's kept you at an arm's length. God, he's such an asshole, he thinks as he flips on the bed to check the time on his phone.

It's late. But not terribly late to correct a mistake.

Jack quickly puts on some clothes without thinking, grabs his keys and phone to pay you a visit.

He makes sure Olivia's still asleep before heading out the door. Zoe is awake now on the couch, watching TV. She barely glances at him or acknowledges his presence when he lies to her, telling her that he was called to the station, that he’d probably be out all night.

The streets are empty and still soaked in a thick layer of water from the storm. He allows himself to drive a little faster now that he can.

Following another light, he knows you’re still up by the yellow glow filtering behind the curtains of one of the windows. He pulls up in the empty driveway of your house, and uses his phone to text you, typing he’s outside.

Jack waits for a minute before seeing the curtains move to show your face. He waves timidly and beckons you to meet him at the door.

“What are you doing here, Jack?”

“I thought about what you said and… Can we talk inside?”

“Are you sure? What would the neighbors say if they saw you here?” You mock him with annoyance in your tone. “Cause if Mrs. Greer sees you spending more than two minutes here, she’ll get the wrong idea. And you know how fast news travels around here.”

“Please? I just need a minute.”

Exhaling, you step backwards and open the door wider to let him in.

The TV is on when he enters the living room, and he's taken aback upon seeing the face of his ex-wife on the screen in the news segment she anchors at WSK.

“You don't have to say it. I'm pathetic.” You scoff, turning it off.

“You're not pathetic,” he's quick to reply.

“You know, I get it. She's smart and pretty, and everything I'd never be. I wouldn't blame you if you were still hung up on her. It'd explain a lot.”

It breaks his heart seeing you like this. Anna is part of his past that he’s definitely not looking to revisit. He’s not sure what you’re yet, but he’d never want you to think that you're anything less than amazing. That’s his fault for drawing this out.

“It's not that, sweetheart. I just think you deserve better than this, than me… I'm screwed up. I don't have anything to offer you right now. I know it, she knows it, too.” He vaguely gestures at the now-black flat screen, and pauses. “You think you want me, but you don't. It'll pass.”

“That's such s lame cop out. Why does every guy in my life think they know what I want or need better than me, huh? It's my choice to ruin my life if I want to. You don't get to decide. If you don't wanna be with me, that's fine, but don't say it's because I don't know what I want. Do you know what you want, Jack?”

His chin nods gently, staring down for a beat.

“Then say it.” You press him, folding your arms against your stomach. “You came back to talk, so talk.”

“It wouldn't work out between us.”

“That's not what I asked.”

Jack clears his throat. “It's not that simple.”

“Good things never are.” You keep hitting the ball into his side of the court.

“Fine! You win, okay?” His voice raises up, as all those unsaid secrets find a way out of his chest. “I can't stop thinking about you. Best thing in my life right now is when I get to pick you up and spend that little time together, and it's never enough. And I don't know how to do this anymore, how to be with someone. I don't wanna hurt you. And I can’t let my guard down again… what happened the last time… it can’t happen again…”

You see him choking up, overcome with emotion, as he trails off.

“Jack.” You bring your hands up to cup his jaw in your palms.

You open your mouth to say something else, but now it's you that gets to be speechless, so you just pull his face close, so his forehead falls on top of yours. He closes his eyes, and you close yours, letting the circling of your thumbs sooth the freshly-shaved skin of his cheeks. There’s really nothing you can say to ease the pain that he still harbors.

“It's okay,” you say after a long minute. “We don't have to rush into anything. We'll figure it out as we go. I just need you to talk to me, Jack. Just once in a while. You think we could do that? Be honest with each other?”

“Yeah, I think so,” he exhales, letting a small part of that heaviness he carries evaporate in the open space.

When he pulls his head back, you open your eyes as he places a kiss on your forehead, before locking his arms around you. His nose captures the scent of your hair while you tuck your arms around his torso.

Now that the air seems slightly clearer between you, he relaxes in your embrace for longer than he ever has. It feels like you’re holding him up, instead the other way around.

Something creeps back into his stomach—that uneasy feeling that wouldn’t let him sleep and that brought him to your door. He clears his throat to swallow the bittersweet taste left in his mouth of that sudden confession to change the subject and focus on you instead.

He hesitates to ask, but he has to.

“Hey. Do you think we could start now, being honest, I mean?”

“Sure.” You tilt your head back to capture his gaze.

“What you asked me about earlier in the car when I brought you home about harassing, I know you didn’t just ask for the sake of asking. Is there something going on, sweetheart?”

“Hm, nothing you need to worry about.” Your tone says the opposite as you suddenly pull away from his arms to busy your hands spreading the throw pillows on your couch evenly apart.

“Thought this is what you wanted. To talk.”

“This is not your problem, Jack.”

“That’s where you draw the line? Just cause it’s not my problem doesn’t mean I can’t help. I can see you’re scared, so—please, make it my problem.”

He watches you sigh with heaviness as you put the pillow in your hands down before grabbing your phone from the table.

After unlocking it and finding the text chain between you and your ex, you hand the phone to Jack so he can see for himself.

“Holy shit.”

He scrolls, dumbfounded, through a one-sided alarming thread of messages that are made of threats, degrading insults, intimidation, blackmail… You hardly ever reply unless he threatens you to do so.

“Have you tried blocking him?”

“Of course, I've tried. He shows up here if I do so. He likes to know that I read all the shit he sends. He gets off on it. He showed up today at work and I had to give him money so he'd go.”

This is more serious than he initially thought. He has to pull his eyes away from the screen after skimming roughly through over 50 messages that seem to keep going.

“You shouldn't have put this off. You could've easily got a restraining order with half of these.”

“I mean, he's never hurt me. At least there's that. He's like one of those dogs. He's all bark.”

“Yet.” Jack remarks. “He hasn't hurt you yet. What's this thing about a picture?”

“What do you think? I was stupid. I let him take pictures of me, you know… intimate pictures. Now he's saying he's going to put them all over town, so everyone can see what a slut I am.”

“You're not stupid, sweetheart. C'mere. Let's sit.” His hand points at the couch where you sit.

He lowers his backside on top of the coffee table in front of you.

“Keep these.” He puts your phone between your palms. “Tomorrow, we'll go to the station and you'll show them. I'll check with the inn, see if I can have access to the security feed.”

“Okay.”

“This is what you wanna do, right?”

You waver. “I suppose so. I just wish he'd leave me alone.”

“You gave him money. He's not going to leave you alone anytime soon now that he knows he can twist your arm like that.”

“I'm sorry I made it your problem.”

“Don't apologize. I asked you to.”

“So, what now?”

He tiredly shrugs his shoulders. “Guess we just wait and see what happens tomorrow.”

“Will you go in with me?”

“Yeah, don't worry. You're not doing this alone.” He gently cradles your hands in his palms, drawing soothing circles on your skin with his thumbs.

This is progress. It's scary, but it's a step in the right direction. He can't stay stuck red living the same day as in Groundhog Day. That's not living. This is it, holding you in his hands seems so simple yet so incredible.

Jack shifts in his seat on the table to sit next to you on the couch. His arms hold you closely as you search in his mouth something to put you at ease. He can't tell by the way your lip trembles that you're just as terrified. Perhaps not of this, you and him, but from that other situation you find yourself in. He provides a much necessary relief in the way his tongue gently massages yours. One of his hands is drawn under the hem of your top to find the warmth of your skin. It makes your hair stick out when the feather-light gliding of his fingers moves across the length of your backbone.

— credits: beautiful divider by @bernardsbendystraws

[iizuumi]

using extra strength from number weapon suit to pick up boyfriend as intended

[mellotronmkll]

I neeeeed to work on my own music but I'm having way too much fun picking a new tmbg song to cover every day

[starkeysprincess]

⟢ FEELS TOO GOOD TO BE WRONG

presenting kinktober day 1 ➔︎ stepbro!rafe

warnings: stepcest, pillow humping, guided masturbation, fingering, pussy slapping, gagging, praising, & degrading. 18+ mdni word count: 1.5k

kinktober m.list ⟡ rafe m.list

rafe tip-toed his way up the stairs, not wanting to wake anyone, especially his stepmother, knowing she’d nag at him if she smelled even the slightest ounce of alcohol off him. his feet carried him to his room, ignoring the soft light under your bedroom door, figuring you must’ve forgotten to turn off the fairy lights that littered the room. 

he froze at small whimpers coming from your room, turning around and stopping outside his bedroom. he pressed his ear to the door, chewing on the side of his nail, listening for further noises.

your whimpers progressed, and nothing prepared him for the sight he saw of you, his sweet stepsister, when he quietly twisted the doorknob, cracking your door open ever so slightly. 

the soft yellow lights glowed around your silhouette as if you were an angel, yet your actions were nowhere close to pure. there you were, in nothing but a pair of baby blue panties and a tank top, rutting against a pillow that sat between your thighs. your eyes remained closed, brows furrowing as you rocked back and forth, trying to find a steady rhythm in hopes the plush pillow would graze your clit. 

rafe’s cock stiffened in his khakis, and he grinned to himself, taking your distraction as an opportunity to slip into your room, ensuring to shut the door without making a sound. he leaned against the door, crossed his arms over his chest, and continued to watch you for a few minutes. 

“what do we have here?” rafe chuckled. your eyes immediately opened, and you let out a small shriek in surprise. "w-why are you here?” you stuttered, heat rising to your cheeks in embarrassment. 

“thought you were having a nightmare and was just being a good big stepbrother and checkin’ on you,” rafe licked his lips, eyeing you, “what are you doing up, anyway?”.

“nothing,” your gaze shifted away from him. “nothin', huh?” your stepbrother taunted, “s’not what it looked like to me.” 

“could’ve sworn you were going at it like a bunny and humping away at your pillow,” he tsked. your lip wobbled as tears welled in your eyes; you weren’t sure if it was because you were ashamed or because you were overly frustrated from how horny you were, “i’m sorry”. 

rafe pushed himself off the wall and stalked towards you. he gripped your chin and tilted your head to look up at you. "stop crying, alright? crying isn’t going to get you anywhere.” 

your gaze drifted away from his, and you looked down at your hands in your lap, ushering another apology. his thumb swiped at your plump bottom lip, a tent starting to form in his khakis as the blood rushed to his cock, “mm, sweet girl, always sayin’ sorry”. 

the mattress dipped under his weight as he sat down, his rough hands grabbing at your waist and hoisting you onto his lap. your back was flush against his chest, and he had one hand sprawled across your lower tummy, fingers tracing patterns on your flesh, “you know…what you were doing s’nothing to be ashamed of”. 

it took every fiber in your being not to let out a small whimper when his leg bounced up and down, the material of his khakis rubbing your clit, “it’s not?”. rafe shook his head, “course not. you were just trying to make yourself feel good like the needy little thing you are, right?”.

“i’m not needy,” you murmured, crossing your arms over your chest.

“yeah? if that were true, you wouldn’t be trying to get yourself off by your pillow, would you?” rafe chuckled, “there are other ways to make yourself feel good…like using your fingers”. 

you couldn’t help but frown, “that’s not true”.  

the blonde shook his head, “then you must not be doing it right… i could teach you. would you like that, sweet girl?”.

your eyes lit up, nodding slowly at his offer, and his hand slid down your tummy to your thighs, spreading them further open. his fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties, tugging at it gently to pull it to the side, “pay attention to what i say, alright?”. 

once you give him confirmation, rafe grabs your hand, guiding it between your legs, “go on, stretch your little cunt with your fingers,” he rasps. you run your fingers through your slick folds, pushing two fingers into your wet cunt, “there you go,” he cooed, his hand pressing on your tummy, pulling you closer into him, “slowly move them in and out”. 

you listen to him, slowly pumping your fingers in and out of your slick pussy. your fingers move with ease as your arousal coats your fingers, and rafe groans, his hardon poking against your ass. his hand slid up your tummy to your tits, squeezing and massaging them. his thumb and forefinger pinch your nipple through your tank top, rolling it between his fingers, “c’mon princess, move them a little faster”. 

“atta girl, feels good, yeah?”.

“n-no, rafey, this feels wrong,” you shook your head, it was eating you alive. your mind racing with the thoughts of how wrong it is to let your step brother talk you through how to please yourself. 

“no? nothin’ is wrong if it makes you feel this good, but i guess i gotta do everything myself then, huh?” he scoffed. his fingers encircled your wrist, pulling it away to replace your fingers with his. 

“oh–” you gasped, his fingers moving to rub up and down your slit, slipping one finger deep inside you. he pushed his thick digit in and out, slowly working your needy hole open before adding another finger. he was knuckle-deep in your cunt, his fingers dragging against your inner walls with each push and pull motion.

you couldn’t help the whine you let out, bucking your hips against his fingers, “see, nothing wrong if it makes you feel good, right?”.

a small squeak traveled up your throat when he landed a light smack to your clit, “answer me, say ‘yes rafey, it’s not wrong if it feels good’. c’mon, say it, or i’ll leave you to go back to humping your pillow, and we both know it doesn’t nearly feel as good as this”.

you couldn’t bring yourself to say it; the way his fingers curled made your brain blank. you pushed your body further back against him, whining when he suddenly stopped, “why’d you stop?”.

“told you i’d stop, guess you’re on your own,” he shrugged, his fingers still buried deep inside you. you rolled your hips, trying to give yourself some relief, only to receive another smack to your clit. 

“you know what i wanna hear,” he murmured, nipping your ear lobe, “admit that it feels good, tell me how good it feels to have my fingers stuffed inside you”.

despite knowing it was wrong, you couldn’t help but admit that it does feel good, his fingers were making you feel pleasure like you’ve never felt before. 

“good girl,” rafe praised, pistoning his fingers once again, “such a good girl for letting me play with this pretty little pussy”.

your head lolls back, resting on his broad shoulder, “rafe,” you whine. your moans increasingly getting louder the faster he pumped his fingers while he continued to toy with your nipples.

his free hand slid up your neck, prodding his fingers against your lips before shoving his middle and ring fingers into your mouth, “gonna wake everyone up if you can’t keep your mouth shut, and we can’t have that, can we?”.

you hum in response, gagging when he shoves his fingers further down your throat, muffling your sweet moans. the sound of your pussy squelching around his fingers was music to his ears, “you hear that? hear how fuckin’ wet you are?”. 

“touch yourself, play with your clit f’me,” he whispered, groaning when you obeyed, watching you rub sloppy circles onto your clit. he dipped his head down, nuzzling his face into your neck, teeth grazing your sensitive skin, “yeah, just like that, princess. goddamn, you’re so wet, drippin’ all over my fingers”.

your breath hitches in your throat, drool coating rafe’s fingers as the tips of his fingers hit against your cervix, “look so fuckin’ pretty when your holes are stuffed full like the needy little slut you are,” he murmured, nipping at your neck. 

you push your head back onto his shoulder and look at him with half-lidded eyes. your chest is heaving as your breathing becomes sporadic, and you feel the coil in your stomach tighten. 

“that’s it, princess, cum all over my fingers. show me how much you love having me play with your pussy,” rafe whispers, grunting from the way your moans are muffled as you’re practically choking on his fingers. 

your eyes squeeze shut as you come undone, his fingers continuing to work you through your orgasm until your body slumps against him.

rafe removed his fingers from your mouth before pulling his hand away from your cunt. he brought his arousal-covered fingers to his mouth, humming as he sucked them clean, “taste so fuckin’ sweet”.

“see? felt better than your pillow, huh?” he teased, bucking his hips, his hard cock grinding against the plump flesh of your ass, “feel that? s’all ’cause of you, sweet girl”.

“think it’s your turn to help me out now”.

taglist: @oceandriveab @babygorewhore @cameronsprincess @xxbimbobunnyxx @fae-of-prey @heartsforvin @zyafics @justafangirls-blog @sturnioloshacker @userchai @bunnyrafe @drewstarkeys-world @nemesyaaa @drewsarms @fallbhind @rafesthroatbaby @rafestaurusgf @hallecarey1 @fallrafwe @rafecameroninterlude @johnnycakess @sturnskiss @blckbrrybasket @shawtycoreee @rafeyscurtainbangs @wearemadeofstardust0 @juniebugg @honeybunniesoobin @spacexdrago @starkeysbebe @chimindity @spid6y @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @amandabbbbb @kisses4angel @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @starkeysheart @rafeinterlude @flvredcas @emilysuperswag @hyperfixationgirl @eternalbuckley @redhead1180 @ijustwanttoreadlols @slumnit @xoxohoneymoongirl @starkeyisthelastname

[chlopieno]

.

vent ahead, sorry

[fluoneia]

pitfighter!vi knew it was bad to be indulging in something like a whorehouse, yet, she found herself at babettes often since she starting fighting in the ring.

usually, it was a quick in and out, but this time, she heard of a new worker. since the others started declining her because they were too rough with them, she decided to take the chances with you.

she drunkenly stumbled into babette’s place, grabbing onto the doorframe to steady herself.

that’s when she saw you. standing there, all pretty in nothing but pink.

vi’s eyes widen. she sees you talking to babette, no doubt starting as a worker there. vi chuckles to herself as she thinks, oh, i’m having fun tonight.

vi stumbles forward, grimacing as her shoulder hits the wall. she walks forward, leaning against the front desk.

“hey, babette.” vi slurs. she turns her glance to you, peering you up and down. her hungry, raw eyes make a shiver go down your spine. her badly-dyed black hair, ends pink, like how you assumed her hair used to look. she had bruises on her face, blood stained on her lip.

you gasp.

“hey, beautiful.” the girl rasps.

“vi.” babette says calmly, “i’m afraid.. you’ll have to take your business elsewhere.”

“what?” she turns to babette. “why?”

“well.. none of my girls will take you anymore. if i mention your name, they instantly say no.”

what the hell could this girl have done that makes it so every girl would decline her? money is money, you thought. and this girl seems willing to pay it.

“that’s bullshit.” she scoffed, slapping her palm on the desk. “bunch of wimps.”

“that’s precisely why, violet.” babette shakes her head. and her name is so.. un-fitting, you think. maybe the girl she was before, the girl with pink hair, was violet. but, this didn’t seem like a girl who deserved the honour to be named after things as delicate as flowers. but then again, you never liked delicate girls.

“i will.” you speak up. you straighten your back.

the girl— vi, turns to you. she eyes you up and down. and she reeks of alcohol, but, you could overlook that.

truth be told, you wanted to see what she would do that the others that made them not want to take her as a client anymore. you wanted to see what she could do.

“will you?” vi leans toward you. you smell the alcohol on her tongue. what made her this confident.. and if she can back it up?

and babette gives you a look. “alright. goodluck, then.” she snorts, leaning back.

you glance back toward vi. her eyes are staring at you like she can see underneath your clothes. undressing you with her eyes. and you wonder how she could look so damn hot.

red jacket. black hair. face-paint on her face. the way she held herself was so.. unreal. she knew she was attractive, and that’s what made her even more attractive.

you hadn’t had a good fuck in a while. at your old brothel, it was nothing but smelly, old, beer-bellied men, often from piltover looking for the thrill on cheating on their wives.

so, you hoped, maybe, just maybe, her reputation holds up, and you can just.. let yourself go.

oh, and boy, was she able to hold it.

you were writhing. your legs shaking, wrapped around her head as she eats you out like you’re a damned feast on christmas eve.

“o-oh, gods!” you’d scream, hands digging into her black hair, gripping and pulling her scalp. vi whines against you as you pull and tug, your plush, soft thighs wrapped so tightly around your head.

her fingers curl inside of you, only adding to the pure euphoria you feel. you’d fully forgotten everything— nothing mattered but vi’s tongue on you, licking through your folds, tasting you, feasting on you.

“ugh— fuck!” you whine, head throwing back against the pillow. the smoke of the candle around you, earthy scent only adding to the fog in your head.

how could anyone pass up on this? you’d think as her tongue brings you to your fourth orgasm of the night. your voice cracks from the sounds you’ve been making, no longer caring about how people might hear you. you’re too far gone to care.

“that’s it,” you hear vi whisper, voice vibrating against your skin in the most pleasurable way as it could. her voice was rasped, so drunk on your taste that she swore she’d never tasted better pussy before she met you.

“vi, vi, vi—“ you chant her name like a damn mantra as her hands tighten on your hips, dragging you toward her as you begin to pull away.

“oh, fuck, s’too much!” your voice slurs, her tongue chasing you as you pull back.

but that wasn’t true. you wanted this, you wanted more then this, you wanted to be treated so well that you forgot your own name.

she takes a second, pulls her head away, and you sigh in relief. “you asked for this.” she says, before running her tongue along your folds, your hips jerking at the sudden stimulation.

she placed a kiss against you, before pulling back, running a hand over her hair, inhaling a deep breath.

yet, her hands don’t pull away. she smiles a toothy smile as her fingers begun rubbing small, long circles over your most sensitive spot, leaning toward you.

“mmf, vi.” you cry, eyes opening to peer up at her. you don’t realize the tear running down your temple before she wipes it away.

“so beautiful.” vi gasped, fingers dipping inside you only to move back up. you cry out, legs shutting against her hand, preventing her from moving her hands any further.

but, her eyes darken, and her other hand rips your leg to the side, pinning it to the side of the bed.

“don’t do that.” she nearly damn growled, “do that again, and you’re only getting it worse.”

she leans toward you, eyes glancing all over your body, at the plush of your stomach, so soft, and twitching, pushing up from the bed, leaning into her touch despite your protests.

“ohmygod!” you whine. “fuck, oh my god!”

everything around you was so hazy. so foggy, so unreal. her hands were unreal, so laced with skill it almost drove you insane.

“said you can take it.” vi’s slurred voice only brings you more into the spiral of your own pleasure. her lips find your neck, placing sloppy, open mouthed kisses on your skin. her teeth nip at your neck, grazing against your skin, and it’s such a sweet gesture if you weren’t so out of it.

the feeling makes your skin set ablaze, prickles all over your body.

“you can take another. can’t you? hm?” she hums against you as her slender fingers dip back into you, curling, pressing against that spot she now knew drove you absolutely crazy.

and you whimper and whine, but you don’t protest. you wanted this. that’s all you’ve wanted for years. someone who can keep up with your stamina, your needs.

and vi not only meets that, but surpasses it. you swore she was between your legs for three hours and didn’t move once to breathe.

she was so enveloped in you. and that’s what you need.

her fingers rile you up, ignoring the absolute ache of your core, your whole entire body. you relished in the fact that you’d probably be here all night, but that’s what you wanted.

and as you feel your stomach untwist, that knot release, your vision goes fucking white from the searing, hot pleasure through your whole body.

“ohm—“ you cry, chest heaving as her fingers work you through your orgasm, slowly, yet continuing to abuse your bruised spot that she’d been hitting all night. “fuck, fuck! fuck me, oh my god!” you cry, gasping for air.

your arms throw around her, pulling her against you, entire body curling into her, legs clamping around her hand. your body shook, your nerves feeling like they were alive, and they would never die.

and finally, she stops.

you gasp a satisfied breath of air, mouth falling open, eyes squeezing shut before she finally lets her hand slip away from you.

her hands glide up your body, stopping at your hips before she hauls you over her own body. her hand rests on your back, her own breath heavy as she tries to regain herself.

“you’re amazing.” she whispers against your hair. you freeze, taken aback by the sudden intimacy, but you let yourself melt into her, both not having the will or the strength to pull away from her.

“you’re fucking amazing.”

and slowly, you laugh. you glance toward her.

“are you.. are you done?” you say quietly, timidly.

she cocks a brow. “do you not want me to be?”

you shake your head. “no, no..” you inhale a deep breath, hand moving to take one of the strands in her hair in your palm. “for now, im done.” you snort as you shake your head, body still compelling from the previous orgasms. “but..”

“but?” she hums, hand moving to grab the plush of your ass, before running up your back. you gasp at the crude gesture.

but, you shake it off.

“you.. you haven’t let me touch you at all.” you say, shakingly pushing yourself up, resting your palms on her chest.

you let your hair spill over your face as you move closer, lips hovering just above hers.

“yeah. that’s not what i’m here for.”

vi gasps a breath of air. she brings herself closer, hands resting on your hips.

“that’s what you paid me for.” i cock a brow, before laughing and pressing kisses along her jaw, up to the corner of her mouth, testing the waters.

you smirk, you hand moving down to her jacket, slowly pulling it away.

“let me do my job. huh?”

“fine. but you’re not getting anything out of me. i give. i don’t receive.”

“you underestimate me.” you smile against her lips. “i’ve been in this business for years. i know how to pleasure a woman, vi.”

she pushes herself up, nose touching eachothers.

“we’ll see about that, cupcake.”

vi left the brothel feeling like a new person. all she could think was, what the fuck?

she clears her throat as she passes by babette, not daring to look at her as she struggles to stand on her shaking legs.

she discovered something about herself she never thought she would that night. and oh, she’d definitely be coming back if that meant you were there.

a/n. for @obivari :,)) more info on my taglist here

part 2 here.

[lovelivision]

Satoru finding out reader has a praise kink🙏🙏🙏

₊⁺ જ⁀➴💌 and so it was done !! gojo and praise kink might kill me 🙂‍↕️ hope you like it lovely !! 💗💗

꒰꒰mdni // masterlist꒱꒱

Gojo is completely unfair when he discovers your praise kink in bed, his head tucked into your neck as he hammers into you, his moans and whimpers making your spine tingle. His hands everywhere on your body, pulling your face to his, lips interlocking hotly as he shoves his tongue in your mouth.

When he pulls back your lips are connected by a string of saliva, snapping as he licks at his lower lip, “You feel so good, sweetie,” he groans.

His hips stutter at how your pussy flutters around him, the small praise getting to you more than you think it should. Something he catches onto quickly, a breathless kind of chuckle leaving him at his realisation.

“You like being told how good you feel?” His voice is low, words tickling against your ear.

Turning your head away, you try asking for mercy, “Satoru–”

“–Don’t be so shy,” he almost singsongs at you, “You’re doing so good for me, taking it so well.”

You gasp at his words, hands pushing at his chest. It’s embarrassing how quickly he picked up on how he’s making you feel.

“So– fuck–so tight, gripping me like crazy,” he chokes on his moans, trying to talk to you at the same time.

He’s going crazy, your snug cunt sucking him back in every time he pulls back, pussy wet and drooling obscenely around him, slick coating his length so much that there’s a creamy, white ring at the base of his cock.

Your skin grows warmer at his earnest words, at how he moans for you, bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he looks down between the two of you, to where he’s stuffing you full of his dick.

His eyes flick back to your face and it’s almost like he melts into a puddle for you all at once, a small whine leaving his lips before he has a chance to even think about stopping it. “You look really pretty,” he coos at you, large hand cradling your face.

The unexpected compliment has your pussy fluttering again, along with your heart, “I don’t think–”

“–I don’t think, I know,” his thumb pulls at your bottom lip before letting it go, “So beautiful while you let me fuck you full.”

His eyes are completely lost as he feeds you compliment after compliment, completely pussy drunk but still aware enough of what his praise does to keep spitting out nonsensical flattery. Words tripping over each other as his voice cracks with his moans and whimpers, the hand holding himself up gripping into the pillows behind you as he struggles to keep it together.

“Making the cutest faces– hnn– the cutest moans–” he intakes a sharp breath as you twitch around him, trailing off into a groan, “Don’t know how you feel so good, pussy divine– hah– fuck–”

The sounds of his pathetic moans and broken words have you dizzy, eyes hazy and wet as you struggle to focus in on his face. His own features wrecked, a lazy, blissed out smile on his face at how ruined and turned on he’s making you.

“Pretty little thing, look so hot when you’re close, sweetie.”

It’s entirely too much, his words pushing you over the edge, cumming all over his cock, coating him in your slick. Gojo doesn’t hold out much longer after, only really capable of a few more thrusts before he’s dumping his cum deep inside you, painting your walls white.

When he pulls out, he watches the way his cum dribbles from your cunt, his smile bright when he says, “You look pretty full of my cum.”

Proud of himself, even when you throw a pillow in his direction, because he now knows just how much you like when he compliments you and he’s never going to let you forget that.