#hope someone likes this bc i spent way too long on it lmao

[youwerethedefeated]

Behold - my first edit

[acebytaemin]

good god.. been dealing with THINGS. very many of them

[mal3vol3nt]

hello!! I randomly spent like 30 minutes stalking your blog and!! 2 thing!!

bro I just got into atla and WHAT IS WITH THE FANDOM DUUUDE.. what’s with all the discourse it’s literally not that serious damn and how could people misinterpret literally every character so bad 😭😭 why are people so mean to my boy aang. he’s literally just a little guy. sunshine personified literally HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO HATE HIM WHAT!! and just. everyone misinterprets everyone so bad, zuko too, also it is kind of annoying how most of the fanworks are about him, I love him too, both he and aang are my favourite characters, but it would be nice to see stuff focused on other characters too.. also people in the fandom woobify him so bad and it’s just like. why. his flaws are what make him interesting!!! also I have no strong feelings on z/k, I think it’s a pretty mid ship but it can be done well (one of my favourite fics does it really well and the reason I really liked it there is bc IT WASNT EVEN THE FOCUS THE FOCUS OF THE FIC WAS AANG AND ZUKO’S FRIENDSHIP, and the author wasn’t even planning for it in the first place it sorta just happened with the way they wrote it, so it actually made sense in that context, so it can be done well but imo it doesn’t work within the context of the show and kataang is objectively so much cuter cmon y’all have bad taste smh) anyways yeah. atla fandom is wack as hell and I will not be joining it lol a lot of people here need to go rewatch the show bc they seemingly completely forgot what it’s about and also touch some grass (but tbh aaaall the sequels will never be canon. to me. lok and most of the comics butchers the gaang so bad and it makes me so upset so I refuse to acknowledge them as canon. there are no atla sequels in ba sing se :)

ok wow sorry for the random long ass rant in your inbox I hope you don’t mind!! have been thinking about that and I guess reading a lot of your posts sorta made me want to get that out somehwre

anyways what I ACTUALLY wanted to ask is if you read fanfiction, do you know of any good aang centric fics? since. it should not be that hard to find them he’s the MAIN CHARACTER why is he so unpopular in his own show he’s literally the little guy ever <//3 more aang appreciation pls

AH sorry for taking so long to answer! i haven’t peeped my inbox in quite some time lol

BUT THANK YOUU and i agree 100%!! joining the atla fandom is like being dropped in the middle of a war zone so i’d definitely recommend staying away and just sticking to the actual show and fanfics lmao

now as for aang-centric fics i’m so glad you asked. lemme put yall on (a lot of this is aangst sorry)

1. 🧡

Aang's 18th birthday stirs up a lot of unprocessed grief and with the inauguration of the United Republic just around the corner and increasing expectations the pressure of it all is becoming too much

Republic City shenanigans, drunken truth or dares, complicated visits home and a semi-arranged marriage inbound!

Complete — 24 Chapters

Part 1 of the finding our way series

⭐️ now this is by FAR my favorite aang-centric fics of all time. it goes into aang’s repressed anger and grief in a way that is so well done i can’t believe it’s free to read. if you’re someone who loves aang, you will love this fic that is a guarantee. i seriously can’t recommend it enough

⭐️ this brilliant author also has another fic uploaded to the same series titled “beautiful boy” that is bumi ii and cloud family-centric. i’m currently reading it and it is a masterpiece so i’d highly recommend that as well

2. 🧡

A sound carried on the winds lead Aang and Katara to hope for something seeming long lost.

Complete — 3 Chapters

3. 🧡

Aang meets one of the firebenders who took part in the original Air Nomad genocide, and Suki deals with the aftermath.

One Shot

4. 🧡

Hakoda and Aang have both lost too much in the war. Together, they learn what it means to live.

One Shot

5. 🧡

In which, Aang still suffers from the guilt and shame after having abandoned his duties as the Avatar resulting in the Airnomad genocide and his friends, remind him that he isn't alone, not in this fight.

Incomplete — 4/6 Chapters

6. 🧡

A collection of ficlets written for Aang Week 2021, hosted by @ aangweek on Tumblr.

Complete — 7 Chapters

7. 🧡

Being the Avatar is a burden as heavy as the weight of the world. But as long as Katara is alive, she swears that Aang will never have to carry it alone. Written for Kataang Week 2023 Day 2: Injured.

One Shot

8. 🧡

Aang goes to Kyoshi for advice, and learns that they might have more in common than he imagined.

One Shot

9. 🧡

Raava was ancient. The spirit of order and light, created to serve as a peacekeeper among the spirits. That was her purpose. When she had fused with Wan, she had fully anticipated the years of strife and war.

What she had not anticipated, however, was the feelings. The feelings of love, joy, fear. The feelings of humanity.

And no such feelings were stronger than the love she experienced the first time she looked into the eyes of her newest incarnation. The first time she met Aang.

One Shot

10. 🧡

“I want you to make me a promise, Avatar Aang,” Katara whispered. This time, when she placed her hand on top of his, he didn’t pull away. “When this is all over, when the war is won… Promise me that you’ll grieve.”

(alternatively: grieving is hard. aang’s friends work harder. a series of missing/expanded scenes from a:tla exploring aang’s grief through his friends’ eyes.)

One Shot

(continuation in reblogs)

[onyourowndaisymae]

Yoo I have two request which I’ll send the other one separately but I am in an ANGSTY mood rn sooo yah also been binging ur headcanons and stuffs and I just love the way you write ?? It’s so entertaining lol

AnywY the actual request: can you write like a one shot or headcanons if you prefer of mc who is struggling after the belphie incident ?? Like they feel like they’ve mostly forgiven him and can act normally around him and they’re friends and take naps together but sometimes the flash back just HITS THEM and they have nightmares and panic attacks that can be so bad sometimes someone needs to get Simeon to calm them down. Maybe something of how the brothers react/treat mc and belphie? Idk I’m just thirsting for like MEGA ANGST rn bc my dad made me cry little bit lmao 😭

it comes at night

hello anon! i'm terribly sorry you're in such an angsty mood, though i thank you for all the love-- and for sending this request right as these ideas were on the front of my mind. it genuinely makes me so happy to see people enjoying my work, and it makes all the writer's block and such worth it. i cannot express enough how much i love seeing all the comments, reblogs, etc. as people engage with my work.

anyways. i'm not sure how i feel about this piece, especially with how LONG it ended up being, but maybe that's just my mushy brain talking after looking at it too long. regardless-- i hope you enjoy (well, y'know, in like a sad and angsty way).

synopsis: you thought you would be able to move on like all the others. your body was healed, your anxiety tucked neatly behind a mental wall built to keep you safe. yet something in you was stuck. you couldn't just move on. you were trapped in a battle between your friendship with belphegor and the fear gnawing at your brain as you remembered what exactly he did to you. when the dam finally breaks, your whole brain floods with terror, until you're swept away with it. nobody can save you now.

genre: angst, no happy end, just a big ol spoonful of sadness

word count: ~3.1k

content warnings: chapter 16 spoilers, graphic(?) discussions of death, depictions of panic attacks, nightmares, mc progressively getting worse from fear + lack of sleep

it's funny how time works. 

you'd been around your fair share of years. you’d grown, you’d changed, you’d spent your entire life looking toward the future you had planned. then you, a mere human, were yanked into an unfamiliar world. you spent an entire year in the devildom– a year that simultaneously dragged on and flew by– and came out the other side a new person. a single year in the devildom has changed you more than the human realm has your entire life. time was a mischievous thing, always leaving you chasing behind in a fruitless pursuit of something you’ll never quite understand.

but, she also brings blessings with her. they say that time heals all wounds. you've always agreed with that sentiment. scraped knees and adolescent broken hearts are swept away with the passing days, trailing further and further behind you until one day you forget to look back and remember them. the pain scribbled down on diary pages or cried into pillow cases no longer stings like a fresh burn. these things are nothing but scars now. time has a special way of patching you up, of rubbing your back until the tears clear up and you can finally see again. that is how it's always been. 

where is time when you need it? 

she hasn't quite abandoned you, this much is true. cuts and bruises heal over the passing days. your hair and nails still grow. your body still changes, slowly but surely, marching onwards week after week. yet your mind is trapped in stasis. you struggle to break free, but at times the rot consumes you whole, until you’re crying under the covers and begging from respite from the memories. 

on the worst nights, you find yourself in the attic again, watching the door between you and belphegor swing open. you watch yourself march towards death.

you can still feel his hands around your neck, digging his claws into your fragile human skin like you're made of sand. the scent of blood-- your own blood, on the floors, on the walls, leaking from your torso and staining your clothes a permanent maroon-- still clings to the inside of your nose. even your wildest dreams could not erase the sight of his smug grin, the way his eyes lit up looking at your battered body.

no one person should have to carry the weight of realizing they're going to die. that's what you thought about when your body hit the bottom of the stairs, when belphegor tossed you down from the attic with a harsh laugh and punted your limp body into the entrance hall. you thought about how unfair this all was. you were just trying to help. you thought you were doing the right thing.

one of the worst parts of your untimely demise was watching the others react. the voices pool together in your head, like the colors of the rainbow twisting together on the surface of an oil spill. asmo's panicked shriek blends into satan's angry shouts, desperate to understand what's going on. lucifer's yelling almost drowns out the fearful cries coming from levi, held back by a very silent beel. 

but above all of that, you remember mammon. your first man, the first demon who took a chance on the defenseless little human, rushing to your side and gathering you in his arms like you were about to break. his hand on the side of your face, the tears streaming down his face, the shaky, desperate voice assuring you that you'll be okay and begging you to hang on, okay? please don't leave me. you can't remember if he was shaking or if it was your body's last ditch effort to stay conscious-- maybe both. your trembling fingers intertwined with his. words came out of your mouth, and you're not sure what exactly you said, but he only cried harder in response. 

and then, as your eyes shut for the final time, you woke at the bottom of the attic stairs. you had cheated death. 

your price? you had to carry the memories. 

the world kept spinning. days passed in the devildom. you returned to school, kept on top of your homework, spent your days in the house of lamentation alongside the seven demon brothers. you even got to know belphegor as he navigated his return home. he quickly grew fond of you. that, in and of itself, was jarring. but you returned each and every smile with one of your own. his actions were rooted in his own grief for his sister, you knew, and for that you could not fault him. you helped him repair the severed relationships between him and his elder siblings, stitching the family back together like a prized quilt until the seams of betrayal were sufficiently hidden. 

time is a traitorous bitch. why did she choose now to leave your wounds bare and bleeding?

everyone moved on but you. everyone got to wake up in the mornings without a nagging anxiety holding them back. the others could hang out with belphegor day in and day out without a growing feeling of dread popping up when you think you're safe. 

he killed you. he was grieving. your blood drenched the entryway floors as he laughed. he has grown. you watched the light leave mammon's eyes as you slipped away. belphie has been nothing but kind to you since that day. you fucking died. 

you wish your mind could pick a side. did you forgive him, or did you resent him? was he your friend, or your killer? these answers evaded you in the dead of night as you struggled to sleep again. it was becoming more common for you to lose hours of rest to these nagging fears. who are you? are you even you anymore? did the switch in timelines scatter your atoms across countless universes, leaving the you that looks back at you in the mirror nothing more than a hollow shell? 

you thought that you could keep your mind on a tight leash, keep your cards close to your chest as you continued to live with the brothers. you were wrong.

the first meltdown came during a nap with belphie. you had grown to trust him-- you thought you trusted him-- enough to sleep around him. he'd coax you every so often into an afternoon nap. always in the light of day, always your choice. and for many afternoons, you were perfectly content with this arrangement. belphie was warm and cuddly, a perfect companion for a lazy afternoon. he had this way of making you feel safe as you slept-- the nightmares couldn't come when he was snuggled up next to you, when you were sure his actions were ones of affection and not another trick to gain your trust.

one afternoon, while the sun was beginning to set, you stirred under the warmth of the blankets. the body next to yours lingered close, steady breaths lulling you back to dreamland. you could stay like this forever, you thought.

and then you felt it. the gentle graze of a familiar cow tail against your skin.

something inside of you, a dam you didn't even know was there, snapped. a hot flash of panic rose up your throat as your whole body jerked away from the feeling. your eyes shot open and you found yourself in the last place you needed to be right now: the attic. you pulled yourself out of bed before your brain could catch up. colors flashed across your vision as a consequence. you whipped around, disoriented and upset, and spotted a sleeping belphie in the bed where you once were.

a sleeping, demon belphie.

the familiar curve of his horns made your throat spasm as you tried to breathe. the colors flashed in your vision again-- oh god, what a terrible time to be left defenseless-- as your brain tried to drag you back to that day. you could practically see his face shift from relief to malicious, insidious joy as he began to attack you.

"hehe... does it hurt? finding it hard to breathe? i'm sure it must be very unpleasant."

please. please no.

" i have to say, seeing a human face twisted in pain like this... why, it's so much fun that i can barely stand it! i... i can't contain the laughter!"

you weren't quite sure when you hit the ground, but it was loud enough to wake belphegor from his slumber. he peeled his body off the mattress, slow and dazed, as he looked for you.

"mc? what're you... what's going on?"

please don't. this can't be happening.

your lungs collapsed from the weight of your own panic. you gasped-- once, twice, as your vision went in and out. were you bleeding? your hand loosely brushed at the front of your clothes, but couldn't process whether that was blood or your vivid imagination. were you even breathing? your head felt light and heavy at the same time. the wires in your brain were all crossed, sending both resuscitation and shutdown signals to each part of your body. this feeling... this was too familiar.

were you dying?

"mc, what's going on?"

you came face to face with belphegor. your friend, your killer. the demon who had lured you up to this very attic to kill you, now gripping your shoulders as interrogated you inches from your face.

you screamed. you screamed until your brain shut off completely, leaving you in an inky pit of darkness as your consciousness slipped away.

the house was in disarray for several days. apparently, lucifer came in shortly after you passed out, mammon at his heels, to save the day. you woke up later in his bed, the room cold and empty, with a throbbing head and a tear stained pillow. you stumbled out into his office to find him at his desk, lost in some paperwork like always. the solemn look he gave you as your eyes met told you everything you needed to know.

from this day forth, your fear was now your constant companion.

nobody in the house of lamentation knew how to move forward. not you, not the brothers, not the widening gap growing between you all with each passing day spent in emotional limbo. finally, lucifer called everyone to a family meeting where, over the course of an hour or two, everyone came to an agreement to acknowledge what had happened and why, promised to be mindful of this trauma that you're carrying, and move forward like you requested.

silent days slowly but surely filled back up with laughter again. the brothers came back to your side at their own pace-- asmo first, within a matter of hours, then mammon shortly after, then the others in the following days.

belphegor was the last to come around. his silence spoke volumes about his guilt. he had no clue how to comfort you. he'd do anything to repent for his actions. yet that was the way that life worked, didn't it? some actions simply cannot be undone.

but you didn't let that stop you. despite the panic that closed your throat every time you saw him for the next month, you slowly earned his friendship again. you assured him that the attic incident was a one time thing, the remnants of a lost nightmare blending into your consciousness as you awoke.

until it wasn't a one time thing.

the nightmares crept up on you. the first one happened, of course, that same night, as you thrashed and wept into lucifer's pillows. then a week later, another. a week and a half after that, another. the frequency eventually became higher and higher, until you started planning your sleep schedule (or lack thereof) around your new insomniac tendencies. but even you couldn't manage to stay awake forever.

on a bad night, you'd wake up in tears, crying weakly to yourself as you tried to coax yourself back to bed. on worse nights, you'd shoot up out of bed, limbs tingling in fear, opting to spend the rest of the night in the common room until the others woke for the day. on the worst night, you finally broke. you shattered worse than you could have imagined.

you finally collapsed into bed, body shutting down after a three days of minimal sleep. you were starting to get shaky from the lack of rest, and your lack of appetite was upsetting the others. you crawled under the covers and let your brain slip out of your hands and off to dreamland.

what a fool you were to think you'd get by without nightmares.

visions of demonic teeth tearing at your flesh filled your head. you tried to run away, tried desperately to wake yourself up, but their claws sunk into your flesh. the pain was vivid, was real. memories of your death lived underneath your skin, ready to resurface in the dark of night when there was no escape. you fought back as best you could, kicking and screaming and trying to run, but you were no match for the supernatural strength of your demons. you eventually gave in, an act of learned helplessness, and surrendered yourself to your worst nightmares.

you woke up choking on your own tears. heaving, gasping breaths tried to save you, mixing with coughs as your body struggled to hang on. the tears finally gave way to the memories-- hot blood dripping from your torso, screaming faces begging you to stay, your head going fuzzy as your vision followed--and your screams escaped without a fight.

a mixed cacophony of voices came flooding in the room. you'd be touched by the gesture, seeking comfort in the arms of your dearest friends, if your brain hadn't reminded you that they were demons as well. nightmarish beasts with fangs and claws, predators built to rip your soft flesh from your bones and leave you to die like roadkill.

you felt a hand on your shoulder. who's was it? you could not tell. your first and only instinct was to scream for mercy, hot tears streaming down your face as mammon's hurt expression moved back out of your line of sight. your chest heaved with effort. it felt like your whole body was caving in on itself. you didn't even realize you were shaking as you curled your body into a ball. your side hit the mattress with a pathetic thud and you wept, bitter and fearful, as a panic attack kept you trapped in its grip.

you don't know how long you stayed curled up like that, wordless cries echoing from your room and into the hallway, but eventually the sound of approaching footsteps caught enough of your attention to forget the panic, even if just for a moment.

"hey, it's okay," a familiar, comforting voice approached, cutting through the fear like a moonlight on a stormy night. "mc, it's me, it's simeon. it's going to be okay."

you felt the bed shift under the weight of someone sitting down, and you blindly threw your body at the person before checking to see if it was really him. it took you a few moments to raise your head, and when you did, you saw him: simeon, your angel, blue eyes full of worry as he met your gaze.

you cried in his arms until you fell into a fitful, dreamless sleep.

the next morning was miserable, to say the least. breakfast was tense. they all watched you like a hawk, like you were a powder keg about to explode with one wrong move. you couldn't blame them. you were afraid of your own emotions, and on some level, you were afraid of them. your trauma was making you afraid of the very people you cared about the most. these brothers had welcomed you into their home, took care of you as you adjusted to life in the devildom, and yet you couldn't hold eye contact without breaking in to a cold sweat.

the only person who did not watch you was belphegor. he was nowhere to be found during breakfast, nor dinner, nor breakfast the following day. you tried to seek him out, but somehow the avatar of sloth had become a skilled sneak in his silence.

you finally caught him alone on day four of radio silence. you both had stayed home without realizing the other had also skipped school that day-- you, from the lack of sleep eating at your brain, and belphegor, with his usual routine of missing class to nap at the house of lamentation. he was curled up on the couch in the common room, basking in the warmth of the fireplace in his slumber. you decided to wait for him to wake up. you sat down on the couch opposite of the one where he rested and watched him, quietly, like he'd disappear if you dared to blink.

creepy? yes. but your brain was long ruined by sleep deprivation and gnawing anxiety to worry about such trivial things.

when he finally stirred, you gently called belphegor's name. he took a moment to finally look at the source of the voice, but when he did, his body froze as the two of you made eye contact. a few moments passed in silence. finally, he sat up and began to make a move to leave.

"wait."

he stopped, but his gaze did not meet yours. you rose from your seat and joined him on the couch. the youngest pulled his legs in, twisting his body into a defensive little ball, and countered your next sentence before you could even open your mouth.

"you shouldn't be here with me."

"i think i'm old enough to make decisions for myself."

he shifted uncomfortably in the silence. you spoke again.

"i miss you. and i'm sorry."

he scoffed to himself and stared at the fireplace. "don't know why you think you should be apologizing to me. i'm the one that's the problem."

"you're not a problem, belphie. i never meant to make you feel like one."

every hair on your body stood on end. your hands trembled against your wishes, so you sat on them to stay focused. you had to do this. you had to keep moving forward.

"i hurt you, mc. you're afraid i'm going to do it again."

you sighed-- it came out more shaky than you would have liked-- and looked down. how had it come to this? how had someone you'd grown to hold so dear become a stranger again?

"i don't want to stop being friends. i don't like when you avoid me."

"you still get nightmares, don't you?"

you pause. his icy gaze on the side of your head sent you into a cold sweat.

you smiled-- it felt more like a grimace, personally-- and prayed it didn't come across insincere. your fingers carefully intertwined with his. he met your gaze. you were thankful he couldn't see the way your chest tightened when you made eye contact. 

"i'm okay, belphie," you lied. 

this fear was going to be the death of you. 

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

I don't know if you're still doing the ask game, but how about 1, 22, and 25? For Jason, and Steph too if you're up for it :D

--Cologona

Because I could still find it: yes! Still doing this ask game :3 Sorry it took so long to answer!

1) Why do you like or dislike this character?

I spent like seventy years attempting to find the post with this meme on it so I could give credit lmao, but I could not for the life of me, so uh, just know that I'm remaking this thing from memory I guess???

Jason is the bee in my bonnet, the rock in my shoe, and I am chewing on him forever and ever - meanwhile I will enjoy pretty much any comic about Steph simply because I love watching her do her thing :3

But to go into more detail I really enjoy Steph's narration style and the way she navigates the world. She feels very refreshingly street level and hopeful. Also as someone who grew up as the only "girl" (trans man but egg) in my martial arts class which was taught by a detective with a very drill sargent/tough-love approach to teaching and got an extra helping of PTSD as a result... watching her struggle, get dismissed bc of her gender, and go on to become a great hero despite Batman and his bullshit feels really fucking good. Def love Batgirl 2009

Jason on the other hand is just so deliciously messy. He's hurt a lot of people, but at the same time his anger is super justified! He's intimately familiar with violence in a way that I think makes him unable to conceptualize trust and gauge what an 'appropriate' response is. There's been several times where he's expressed the idea that serious violence by him against others is just normal and forgivable and not a big deal. There's something so compelling to me about that bc I think he really does see it that way, and it comes from a place of him being extremely used to receiving violence and being expected to forgive and not hold it against them. That wall of text in the meme picture is a tiny fraction of one of my essays on him. He's got so many fascinating layers and I love peeling him apart and putting him back together like a robot performing surgery on a grape.

Sometime after I finish Chained, I really want to write Four and Twenty Blackbirds, which is a fic concept I've had for ages now that puts them together in a lesbian/gay man queer relationship. The premise is that somehow or other Steph comes back to Gotham secretly/early and Jason is the first one to find her and they end up building a weird organized crime/community support organization called The Blackbirds.

Not sure on the timeline. Maybe it'll start before Under the Red Hood? Maybe after a modified Hush plotline?? In any case: Jason offers to preform High Vengeance against Black Mask either for or with her. She does not want him killed! She would feel like that went completely against everything she died for. However, she does want that fucker taken down, and is touched that Jason clearly genuinely cares. Also I'm going to have Jason assume without question that she is fully competent and his equal. Unlike every other vigilante in town, she will never have to prove herself to him. So anyways she tells him that yeah, she wants her revenge, but it's gonna happen her way, and the plot moves on from there, as together they destroy and co-opt Black Mask's organization and establish a territory for themselves :3

22) If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

Unless given a reading suggestion by someone else, I exclusively read JayTim fanfiction, which heavily skews what I look for and see in fic. I'm also pretty damned picky lol I write much more fic than I read these days

Even the most basic, stripped down version of Stephanie's core concepts and background ought to be enough to conclude that she would have very complex feelings about both Jason and Tim and them dating each other. She had a supervillain father and a character arc about learning to value the lives of even her worst enemies. Now her ex is dating a guy who had a henchman father and the same character arc in reverse, a guy who specifically targeted her killer in order to get back at the mentor who bears some responsibility for both her death and his own. They are so uniquely poised to understand each other from across this fascinating chasm, both in terms of approaches to vigilantism and dating Tim. You could not ask for a more fertile storytelling ground, regardless of if you want her to be supportive or not.

So yeah, for Stephanie I like it when she has a personality outside of cheerleading Tim while being vaguely sweet and quirky.

The bar is in Hell here folks, and out of the hundreds of fanfics I've read I've only ever seen it cleared twice. And that's only if we include my own goddamned writing. This goes beyond normal fandom simplification, especially when you factor in that Cass, famously against all killing Cass, gets similarly denuded of all internal motives and qualities in favor of being (sometimes literally) wordlessly supportive for no apparent reason, while in those same fics the male characters get to have opinions and internal viewpoints. JayTim nation, I am praying for us to learn how to write women, truly.

Now on to Jason!

I think of Jason as someone who is intense in every facet of himself. He can be cruel and mistrustful or tender and romantic, but no matter what he is I want him to be a little unhinged with it, a little too deep, a little too incapable of not giving a fuck. I want this man lost in the sauce, whatever that sauce may be.

I dislike him being overly apologetic, which practically translates to me disliking most fics in which he is apologetic at all lol I do think he would come to regret some of his actions, but I tend to think those would be different actions than the ones he's usually depicted apologizing for. For instance, I can absolutely see him apologizing to a victim of the Joker for not killing him when he got the chance, but I don't really think he'd have the framework to consider his fights with Tim to have been all that far out of line.

25) What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Ohhhhhhh boy that was fuckin ages ago??? I'm not honestly sure I remember, though I do know that I read JayTim fanfics before anything else that involved these characters, so it had to have been based on that.

...Gah, I don't even remember how I found this ship lol! I mean I started with Boostle?? Maybe JayTim was in the background somewhere of one of those fics? idk

I suppose my first impressions were that Jason was a Big Mood deeply traumatized and lashing out bc of that, and Stephanie was gir waffles XD random rawr means I love you in dinosaur.

Anyhow, thank you very much for the ask @cologona! As per usual with these things I hope it was a fun read and you have a good day and all that jazz :3

[onceuponastory]

in another universe - god the bounty hunter x reader

Plot: One night, Y/N meets someone who’s about to change her life and everything she knows. Pairing: God the Bounty Hunter x Female!Reader (if you look hard enough) Warnings: Mentions of death/murder, guns/weapons and kidnapping. As always, if I miss any triggers please let me know! Notes: None of you say a fucking word 😂 seriously though, we get like a minute of Seb content from a cameo and I say “I can work with this” lmao. There’s no plot spoilers in this (bc I only watched those two cameos) Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own!

Wrapping her jacket around herself, Y/N leaves the bar where she’s spent most of the night. Alcohol still pools in her stomach, its warmth spreading throughout her body. She sighs contently. It’s been a good night, something she’s needed for a long time. And then she begins the walk home. Soon, someone falls into step behind her, matching their footsteps to hers. Even when she speeds up and slows down, the stranger matches her footsteps. Y/N registers her heartbeat rising. That’s strange. Hopefully she’s just imagining things, and that she’s not being followed. But as they continue down the street, the person’s footsteps still follow behind hers. As her mind races, Y/N tries to calm herself down. Because surely, this can’t be happening. She’s just overreacting.

“Sorry.” She murmurs, stepping aside to let the person behind her past, hoping they’ll soon be gone and she can head home with no more worries. But then, she feels something cold and hard pressing against the small of her back. Immediately, Y/N sobers up. Her breath hitches in her throat, and her heart stops. She already knows what it is, and what it means.

She’s about to die.

“Just keep walking.” A male voice orders, hot against her cheek. She does as the voice asks, too nervous to argue back. As they walk, she tries to pick up her pace a little, hoping that she’ll be able to slip away quick enough to not end up with a bullet in her back. But the man simply matches his pace with hers, digging the gun into her back even harsher. “Uh uh.” He tuts. Something is pressed into her neck then, and she yelps in pain. “Quiet.” Y/N immediately shuts up. “That is connected to my ring. One wrong move, and 50,000 volts will be sent through you. So you better do as I say.” He orders, and she nods. 

As he leads her through the streets, Y/N continues to think of what this man could possibly want with her. Of course, she has her ideas, but none of them are good ones. Before she can even engineer her next escape plan, the man leads her to a car. “Get in. We’re going for a drive.”

When the man gets in beside her, she manages to get a good look at him. He doesn’t look like she expected him to. For starters, his outfit makes him look more like an art student than a dangerous assassin, especially with the various bracelets covering his arms. Yet, Y/N finds herself wanting to ask him things, to know more about him, and especially why he chose to dress like this. That is, she would if he wasn’t pointing a gun at her while also threatening to electrocute her. Glancing over his face and his jawline, a light heat settles on her cheek. He’s kinda cute, in a way… and oh god, why is she thinking this about someone who’s kidnapping her? But then again, maybe in another universe, one where he isn’t trying to kill her… things would be different.

“What do you want with me?” She asks finally, as the man starts driving. A huff follows her question. “Okay, are you going to kill me, or are you just kidnapping me?”

“Most people don’t ask so many questions.”

“What, you kidnap people and expect them to stay silent, and not ask what the fuck is happening?” She snaps. “No, fuck that. Tell me what you want with me.” As silence fills the car once more, Y/N suddenly worries that she is about to be hit with all those volts that the man threatened for daring to talk back. Yet, to her surprise, the man simply chuckles as if impressed by her fire. 

“It’s not me who wants you, doll. I’m just the delivery driver.” He replies. She won’t lie, she quite enjoys being called doll by him. But then, the realisation hits her. 

“Oh god. Is this about Josh?” The man frowns.

“Who the fuck is Josh?”

“My stupid fucking boyfriend.” She huffs. Before they started dating, Josh used to be a petty criminal, stealing money and jewellery here and there. When she met him, though, he seemed to be doing better, and she helped get him back on the straight and narrow. And for the next couple of years, things were good. Sure, they had their arguments, but they were happy. Or at least, Y/N thought they were. A few nights ago, Josh came home freaking out because he ‘pissed off some dangerous people’. Although he didn’t go into specifics, from the terrified look on his face, Y/N knew it wasn’t good, and he’d fallen back into his old tricks. Or maybe he didn’t leave them behind at all. Maybe he’s been playing her this whole time, working his way up the criminal ladder whilst playing happy families with her. 

“All I got told was he owed my boss money, and when we tried to find him for payback, he had disappeared.” 

“So they sent you after me instead.” She murmurs. When the man nods, her entire body slumps forward, and she even begins shaking her head. Perhaps hoping that she convinces herself that this isn’t true. Hoping that it’s just a horrible nightmare, or even a twisted prank. But this is all very real. Something twinges deep in her stomach, and Y/N lets out a cry. He ran without telling her, and threw her to the wolves to clean up his mess. If she knew, she could’ve helped him. Or at least fled too. Tears start to fall, and she tries to wipe them away to no avail, as they keep coming even harder. Did she ever mean anything to him? Is he coming back for her… or is he gone forever? But she already knows the answer to that. He didn’t even bother to tell her the truth about what was going on, and fled before he could even face the music. Of course he’s not coming back for her. “God.” She sighs, burying her head in her hands. Her entire life these past few years has been nothing but a lie. 

And now, she’s just collateral damage. 

“I’m sorry.” The man speaks, causing her to raise an eyebrow. She looks back over at him, blinking in confusion as she waits for him to say something like ‘sorry I have to kill you’ or ‘sorry it’s come to this’ before putting her out of her misery. But nothing else comes. 

“What?” 

“I mean, I’m um- sorry you had to find out like this, with my gun pointed at your back.” He stammers, obviously overwhelmed by being the one to tell her that her boyfriend had left her to die. “I know I’m not really the most moral person, but that was a shitty thing for him to do.” And despite the tears still streaming down her cheeks, and how this man is most likely driving her to her death, Y/N feels something inside her flutter. In that moment, she appreciates his small glimpse of kindness more than he could ever know. 

“If you want ransom money from him, it’s not worth it. Just kill me.” She states with a shrug. “He didn’t even care enough to tell me what was going on, so there’s no way he cares enough to get me back. Knowing him, he’s probably in a whole other state right now, doing it all over again.”

“I’m not going to kill you. I’m under strict instructions not to harm you.” Y/N doesn’t reply, simply resting her head against the window. Honestly, she doesn’t care what happens to her now. As far as she knows, her life and relationship are over. She has nothing else to live for at this point.

Silence falls once more, neither willing to say anything to the other after that bombshell. The night sky soon envelops them, and Y/N feels herself slowly starting to fall asleep. A little part of her still hopes this is just a dream, that she’ll wake up back home and safe, not being driven to god knows where.

“What’s your name?” The man asks, cutting through her thoughts.

“Why do you care? I thought the others didn’t do so much talking.” The man shrugs.

“You’re not like the others.” Another flutter from deep inside her. Y/N tries to suppress it as much as she can. Maybe he’s lying to her, and he wants to know everyone’s name. Or maybe, after telling her that her boyfriend left her for dead, he wants to make her feel a little better. Although, maybe the flutter is because after the little snippet of kindness he showed her earlier… Y/N’s starting to feel more comfortable around him.

“It’s Y/N. Can I know your name?”

“I’m God.” Immediately, Y/N raises a brow. “What?!”

“Oh please, that is not your fucking name. Please don’t tell me you chose that.” 

“Obviously it’s not my real name. But nobody else gets to know my real name. And besides, it works, right? I saw it as meeting your maker kind of thing.” 

“It doesn’t. That’s so cheesy.” Y/N shakes her head, laughing to herself. As her peals of laughter fill the air, God rolls his eyes. 

“I’m going to let you off with that laughter because you’re sad.” He insists. “But no more, alright?” He warns.

“Thank you. That felt so good. I needed that.” She pants once she’s finally calmed down. It feels more like they’re two friends spending time together than a bounty hunter and the person he’s been sent to kidnap. A flicker of a smile crosses God’s lips. Although, he won’t lie... it’s a nice feeling. And besides, despite how annoying she’s being, hearing her laughter is a lot better than hearing her cries.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Tell me about your boss.” 

“I can’t do that.”

“Of course you can’t.” She sighs. The sound causes a pang in God’s heart. Obviously, he’s supposed to keep things about him and his boss quiet for safety. But after everything this poor woman has been through tonight, including realising just how much of an asshole her boyfriend is, surely the least he can do is tell her something. He’s a lot more firm and threatening to the others he’s taken. But Y/N, she’s different. The reason he’s kidnapping her isn’t her fault. Everyone else he was sent to deal with were assholes and scum of the earth, and he had no qualms about making sure they were dealt with. This, though, isn’t Y/N’s fault. None of it is. She didn’t ask for any of this, to have her life turned upside down because of the actions of her shitty boyfriend. In some way, God feels protective of her, and he doesn’t understand why. Maybe, she’s finally melting his heart of stone.

“He’s… nice I suppose? Or at least as nice as someone who orders bounty hunters after people could be.”

Maybe, in some other life, or some other universe, he and Y/N could be friends. It’s just a shame the way things work out. Sometimes, God wishes he could live another, normal life. One with a loving family or just someone to call his own. If only he made other choices before he got lost and went down this path, and turned to doing what he does as a way to tell the world to fuck off after it chewed him up and spat him out. He could’ve made something with his life. Something good.

Maybe he could’ve met someone like Y/N.

No. He couldn’t. That’s insane. He’s insane. He could never be a good person, especially not after what he’s done. The lack of sleep is making him go crazy or something. He’s just taking pity on Y/N because of what she’s been through. There’s no other meaning behind it. And besides, he likes this life. It’s been his for so long, he doesn’t know another way to live. Stupid fucking Y/N, making him think about his feelings. Thankfully, she’ll be out of his hair soon, and no longer his problem.

Although, as they approach the meeting point… deep down, God realises he might not be as ready to let go of Y/N as he thinks he is.

“Well. Here we are.” He announces, pulling up beside a row of rundown buildings. Y/N gulps. This is it. This is where she dies. “You know, I am sorry.”

“Mhm. You know, since I’m gonna die soon, I’m just going to say it. You aren’t so bad, God.” She admits. God scoffs.

“You don’t have to lie to me, Y/N.”

“I’m not!” She insists. “I mean, sure, we didn’t get off to the best start, but you’re nicer than I thought you would be.” Her words make him smile, and he sighs. This is going to be even harder than he thought. “And besides, you could’ve killed me on the way over here, because let’s face it, I was being annoying. But you didn’t.” Honestly, he couldn’t. Not just because that’s not what he does as a bounty hunter… but because he just can’t. He can’t harm a hair on Y/N’s head. “I guess we better go then.” She announces, reaching out for the door handle.

“Y/N. Wait.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Do we wanna see more from these two?

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[fluffytheocelot]

Okay, I saw your screencap redraw, and as someone else who's *obsessed* with Carmen's parents, I had to take you up on that offer. So, consider this ask license to infodump your thoughts on them! :)

AGH ok so-

Carmen's parents have a LOT of potential narrative-wise, and I really hope one day we'll see more of them in canon. (Maybe comics like the showrunner talked about before?)

Like how in the world did they meet??? Cause idk i feel like Carlotta disappeared way too easily to have just been a civilian. I think she was a thief too, not VILE, she only steals when she needs to, for one reason or another.

this is getting long oops- under the cut!

I think they happened to be going after the same thing, at the same time, and hoo boy do they not get along lol. Turns out Carlotta (telling Dexter her name is Vera Cruz. He does not believe her) had agreed to steal the whatever-it-is in exchange for an under-the-radar trip somewhere else.

They make a deal: Dexter gets her there, and he gets to keep the prize. Yay, roadtrip!

Cue rivals-to-friends-to-lovers speedrun lmao

Some time passes after that (during which they continue to see each other) and many months later they discover oops they made a Carmen

Dexter begins making his much longer trips away from VILE (wanting to support his partner with their unborn kid as much as he can) and starts the process of leaving. When Carmen is born, his trips away get longer and VILE finally catches wind of what's happening, and you know the rest.

AHH ok headcanons about each:

Dexter

definitely shares a lot of personality traits with Carmen. Even just from what we saw during Shadowsan's flashback, they are so so similar :( The two combined chaos energies probably would've driven Carlotta up a wall lmao

woulda been a fantastic girl dad. this man would have sat thru tea parties and played barbies with little Carmen and LOVED IT

dad jokes. that is all.

probably also a very high energy/troublemaking kid, like Carmen

Seriously I picture him and Carmen being super close if he'd survived.

idk i think it'd be funny that this master thief that is 1/5th of the leadership of a massive and ancient crime organization is an absolute dorky dad lmao

bi

was gonna ask Carlotta to marry him after he escaped. but. well.. yk.

Was gonna pick Shadowsan to take his place on the faculty anyway

knows guitar, and probably would've taught carmen how to as well.

is it a universal dad thing to enjoy Jimmy Buffet music or is that just my dad??? Idk either way he vibes. Carlotta has a video of him softly strumming a guitar with baby Carmen in his lap and singing "Little Miss Magic" to her ;-;

also enjoys AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Guns n Roses, all that kinda stuff. Probably projecting my own dad a bit but oh well

As much as he'd hate he couldn't be there for Carmen when she was growing up, I think he'd be glad she at least had Shadowsan looking out for her :)

He would be so proud of everything Carmen has done and accomplished ;-;

Carlotta

its probably been said before, but Carlotta definitely started up the orphanage in Buenos Aires hoping Carmen would end up in it at some point.

Carmen inherited thief skills from both parents idc. Carlotta definitely gave Dexter a run for his money lol

looks a lot like carmen, but with green eyes instead of gray, and more brown hair than Carmen's red/auburn.

also the parent carmen got her freckles from (BC Carmen had em when she was little, and she spent a lot of time out in the sun!! I will die on the Carmen having faint freckles hill dangit!)

also bi. idk these two give bi4bi vibes.

more likely to get into a fistfight out of the two of them ("Carlotta, no!" "Carlotta YES" *cut to Dexter desperately trying to hold her back* "CARLOTTA PLEASE WE'RE TRYING NOT TO GET CAUGHT")

Upon reuniting with and getting to know Carmen, she's very much reminded of Dexter. She'd be all too happy to tell her stories of Dexter.

definitely also has a bit of a mischief streak too.

absolutely did NOT put up with Dexter's nonsense at first lol

was initially terrified of what Dexter would think when she told him they were gonna be parents, but was quickly reassured when the next time Dexter came back from VILE he had armloads of baby stuff from around the world.

Probably has a big extended family but after Dexter's death and Carmen disappears, she gets distant with them. After reuniting with Carmen though, accidentally runs into a family member with her and they're like "wait is that her?? She's alive??" and just like that Carmen has managed to acquire ANOTHER family lol.

Absolutely thrilled to learn Carmen wasn't alone all those years and immediately just adopts Zack, Ivy, and Player lol

Probably a little hesitant about Shadowsan at first, given that he was supposed to assassinate Dexter and did actually take her daughter to VILE, but eventually they're chill and he tells her stories of Black Sheep's antics. Meanwhile Carmen is in the background begging him not to lol.

I think once she got over her distrust of Shadowsan and got to know him, and sees how close he and Carmen are, she'd be glad that he was there for Carmen when Dexter couldn't be.

ARGHSH I have plans for them in many AUs lol. I'll get around to actually enacting em someday XD

[sorryimananti-romantic]

i've been reading fanfictions and online novels for so many years (too many really) and for a very long time there was one common event or phenomena within the writing community that i never experienced myself: finding that ONE fictional novel that you will never let go, whose plot just will not leave your mind and you come back to reading it over and over again like you're a broken record.

most of my time in the recent weeks was spent commuting across country and when's a better time than to read fiction all by my lone self? trains, busses and bustling fading into the background and acting as a form of white noise. (blame it on growing up with ghibli)

tldr; i've picked up Horizon again lol

and i wanted to once again come here and extend all and every compliment towards you for writing (the entire series tbh!). it doesn't get old and it has once again sent me down an endless spiral of emotions even when i already know how it ends. how my adoration for the characters continue to grow is a mystery even to myself. and it's amazing how with every read-through, i find more and more clues and details to complete the bigger puzzle that i hadn't even picked up on during my first reads.

gotten so bad that i'll see the word Horizon, listen to the actual song Horizon and i can not stop myself from thinking about horizon!san and gaeul (also neve my baby).. google, can you be downbad for a fanfiction? asking for a friend.

getting lost in thoughts again and distracted by this universe, i have yet to bring up why i'm even writing this essay lol

after collecting my thoughts and my notes (and rambling a friend's ear off about the series and the universe and more..) i believe i have found that ONE fictional novel that i will never forget about and know will always end up coming back to - which is Horizon ♡

there's not much more to say other than just that, if i'm quite honest (otherwise we'd be here all night and i'm not willing to test if asks have a character limit lol)

but i do know that unless readers verbalize their thoughts and feelings for a piece of writing, the writer will never know the impact they might have had on someone else with something they wrote by themselves without expectations to reach such great distances and touch so many hearts (definitely mine). writers might be masterminds but even they can't read minds through a screen. (i hope..)

also as i am writing this, what a humorous coincidence that it's been exactly one year since the release of Horizon :') <33 happy one year ♡

all the hugs and kisses to you yumii 🩷 ○ chron

chron- 😭 first and foremost let me apologise bc i went to check if horizon really turned one year old today and foound your lovely feedback reblog that i. missed.???????? HOW DID I MISS THAT?? but also nice time discovering it bc after reading this ask and feeling some sort of way (emotional asf is what it is) i went on to read the reblog and i-

look, i'm really not an emotional person but i had to physically stop take a breather drink some water I DON'T CRY MUCH BUT THIS. THIS MAKES ME CRY 😭😭

and secondly, i love you so much 😭😭 your presence here and feedback and the encouragement and everything literally means so much to me you have no idea how good i'm feeling right now 😭 (be replying to the reblog on horizon soon btw i have no idea how i missed that gem)

i'm honestly beyond honoured. i don't know if you know but take me home/horizon lore is so so precious to me! it's literally my baby and i'm ngl i live in that lore. you'll catch me randomly thinking about it and coming with potential ideas for the future if i write another installment (honestly want to for every member one day) but horizon being that ficitonal novel for you? i'm clutching my heart rn 😭❤️

we're both ghibli kids hehe it's def been a solid influence on my imagination! ghibli movies were literally the first ones that i watched i'm glad my dad got me cds of them without having any idea what they were LMAO but the influence is there and i'm happy to find another ghibli enthusiast <3

and omgg finding more details on the sec read? ahaha that's lovely to hear :') i love how the fic horizon is now an additional with the song horizon for you hehe and neve, ugh. everyone's baby daddy neve :')

i'm honestly so thankful that you took the time to send this message, that you feel this way (and the reblog lord it's making me cry i'll reply to it soon too bc wow.) take me home was my first fic and i have no idea how i came up with the story (covid times, vacation, and first time worldbuilding was a dangerous combo lmao) and i honestly had zero plans for another installment in the lore but so many take me home san enthusiasts kept me engaged even long after take me home ended. thus horizon was born- i needed to do san justice after hinting that he and yena might have been sth.

horizon is my baby. i think horizon is one of my favs because i was ngl a big brain with how i extracted points from take me home to create the premise for horizon. like it's the most unplanned planned thing i've ever written? if that makes sense. i had a hard time coming up with twists but everytime i connected some event of horizon back to take me home i would literally evil smirk LMAO and i'm so glad you enjoyed it so much! it makes me feel proud that i wrote it 😭❤️

as you can tell i can talk about the lore forever. it was so fun to plan and write it and to find someone who appreciates it so much? literally in shambles rn. and to find this message and that reblog on the one year anniversary? god, i wish i could tell you how i'm feeling rn 😭❤️

again, thank you from the bottom of my heart! if i ever find the time to write another installment in that lore (idk if many will read it tho lmao but i could literally write another series for you) i think i'll def come to you for brainstorming :') i know the next one is going to be woo x darkling or yunho x some ice-user faerie (with more neve features bc they literally can't do this without him anymore LOL) and ahh i should stop writing now you're literally making me want to drop everything and start writing this ahaha

[itsravenbitch]

i’m officially leaving the community bc i just feel i am the only answer i need. but i’d like to say this. <3

often, it’s always “but what if it doesn’t happen?” shit isn’t going well now, so why not give it a FULL SHOT ?! right this second, cut the bullshit & just fully live in the end. i spent all this time from success story to blog. one, we don’t know these people up here. 😭 anything could be anything. two, we all have our own ways we want to live. recognize how seeing all these success stories isn’t enough? recognize how seeing these blogs say the same thing in different colors & fonts isn’t doing anything? bc it’s literally us y’all. we have to do it within. it’s not enough because YOU need to be enough. shit, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. this may not be enough to get some of you outta of this loop of needing to see success or what blogs or whatever tf anyone has to say, but i really hope it is. what got me here?? i sit and lay in my room fucking pissed and say “what if it really doesn’t work??” “what if people are lying?” what if this & what if that. and i finally told myself, bitch what if you actually do something? 💀 i’m sorry but i literally just went off on myself. you sitting here on your ass & feeling bad for yourself bc your sad about the 3d & you don’t know if it’ll work. what is this doing tho? nothing good. shit isn’t working right now, so why not see if it does work??? why keep being in a loop of not knowing when you could just try? so that’s it. i’m on my fucking way & i got my shit together. 🤣 truth be told, we don’t know anybody on this mf. 😭 so if you believe anybody, you better believe in yourself. quite frankly, who even cares if people are lying?? you’ll move on to the next person to give you hope & wanting it to work. so make it work fr. if you’re here because you don’t believe or some other negative shit, how is that helping?? GO. GO DO YOUR THING. we got this. enough is enough, isn’t? LIVE IN THE END RIGHT NOW. it’s better than the loop. be real with yourself and let everything go and JUST LIVE IN THE END. again, we got this! ⭐️ why did it take so long to get here lmao? it’s all within fr. is anything i’m doing giving me a good result? so why not do something that could lead to a good result???? anything is better than being sad & doubtful each day. law of assumption is real. but you need to be real with yourself first. how are you really feeling? what is the issue? are you truly living in the end?? and go from there. fix it & LETS GET IT.

“truth be told, we don’t know anybody on this mf. so if you believe anybody, you better believe in yourself” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 EXACTLY! not saying anyone is lying, but y’all believe blogs when they tell you they manifested this and that. so why can’t you give yourself the same exact energy??

i love how you worded this too, anon. hopefully this’ll give someone whatever push they need to manifest what tf they want!! do you really want to be stuck in the same loop that you complain about, but also do nothing about ?

some of y’all HATE your current life and don’t do anything bc it’s “comfortable” and its all you know. but comfortable doesn’t mean that situation is the best one. there is so much more than the 4 walls around you. and when you realize that, you’ll literally be unstoppable!

[fadeintoyou1993]

💕Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited about, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone whose posts make you smile💕

this is so cute i'll do all of them bc i'm in a good mood today :)

5 things i love about myself

i love how resilient i am :) i used to think i wasn't and i just was weak as hell and everything was too hard but by learning my limitations & understanding how the things i've been through over the years (especially growing up In My Context undiagnosed w several mental disorders) have affected me & made me into who i am today and i love that even if things get pretty bad now, i know i'll get through it somehow

i love my sense of humor. i really think i'm so funny and i'm not sorry everytime i make someone laugh i feel like i've won a million dollars

i love how passionate i am about things because whenever it gets too hard to keep going or even seeing a reason to, things i love and care about can take me out of that mindspace pretty quickly

i love my tattoos! even the smallest ones have special meanings to me and i grew up obsessed w them and wanting to have them for so long and i think it's so awesome that I just. Get to have them now. awesome

i think i'm a pretty patient/understanding/forgiving person? not w myself (altho i'm working on it so hard and it kinda shows by the first item) but i think that i'm a good friend/person that people can count to and feel comfortable to be themselves around me. sometimes it's to my own detriment (i'm also working on it but codependency is so hard) but idk i like that like, i'm not good at socialization offline due to autism, but within this little community i have built for myself over the years i have known and kept up friendships with people from different places/contexts/lives and i just. really love having friends lmao i guess that's two things? but well here u go

4 things i'm excited about

i'll have a yellowjackets watchparty sleepover w my friends on saturday!!! i'm excited abt that :)

i get the stitches off my mouth on friday HOPEFULLY so i'm also excited to be able to like. Open my mouth without feeling like i'm going to die

i'm excited to get my tracy chapman vinyl! my cousin went on a trip to são paulo w her bf last week and she said she found an awesome used record store that she wants to take me too sometime and she remembered i mentioned i was looking for this one when we were talking about the records i want ♡ i should get it sometime next week I think!!!

i'm excited to get my updated assessment results this month 😭 i miss being medicated so fucking bad my god... BUT SOON!!!!!

3 people i care about & why

@scre6m -> well dee is my bestest friend in the whole world like i dont know how we have spent most of our lives not knowing each other & icb we only know each other for lile 4 years. they r literally like a brother / sister / soulmate i've never had anyone in my life i can be so vulnerable with & know that they feel the same way like genuinely i've learned a lot abt myself / friendship / love / life in general by having a friend like him & i literally cannot imagine not having them in my life i'd probably die fr fr. dee has helped me understand i'm allowed to be myself unapologetically & i literally cannot even explain how much he means to me. whenever we have lil misunderstandings & spend like 3 hours without talking bc we r both stubborn n dumb (affectionate) its literally like in bottoms 2023 when josie and pj fight and complicated by avril lavigne is on and josie is kicking cans (dee) and pj is being a stupid bitch eating canned food on the stairs (me) literally just like that. i cannot imagine life not being tweedle bru to their tweedle dee frfr. anyways yea dee is my person 🫂 i hope in like 30 years we live in a big weed farm like in popstar: never stop never stopping

@blackfairyemoji -> tami is literally like a little sister to me like i love showing her things & love learning abt the things she cares about & i'm always like rooting so much for her. she is so incredibly talented and smart and one of the funniest people on EARTH like i'll remember some shit she said while i'm doing something and i'll just start laughingjdkdkdk she is so creative & kind & such a beautiful person inside and out and i cannot wait to see her do big things bc i know she will!! trust n believe!! thats my lil sister genuinely. and the fact she is literally the exact same age as my brother makes it all so much real frfr. my dream is to be present for the first time she gets high and listens to music

@nightmarebees -> MY WHITE DAD JACKIE BEAR.... literally love jackie so much like from the moment i saw her blog back in like 2018? or 2019? im bad w numbers but i rmr reading her description and she literally had all of my very specific niche interests listed and i was like. Dude what. we have got to become friends. and we DID!! jackie is such a kind, understanding, funny, loving person and quite literally the smartest person i know. like she knows so much whenever i have a question about something i'm like hey dad what the fuck is____ and she's like thank you for asking, and it's incredible. i love talking to her about media & literature and getting really fucking meta about things bc jackie understands and helps me organize my thoughts w her big historian brain. she's truly one of the best people i know! and i cannot wait to try her baking 🥺

[leopardom]

i thought i wouldn't end up making one of those sappy posts before the end of 2023 but here we are i guess

what i wanna say in advance is a huge thank you, and that i'm sorry

this year has been a nightmare for me and i can't stress that word enough. i won't get into details, if you follow me you may have seen some occassional rant posts. long story short though, i'm ending 2023 being mentally exhausted af and even though i'm not in my most optimistic mood, i hope 2024 will not as shitty as 2023

as of my tumblr presence, there have been some changes. i jumped from one fandom to another without completely leaving the bc fandom. i'm just not that much in the mood anymore. maybe this will change once the new album is out? we'll see 👀 and jumping to another fandom means that i lost contact with so many people from the bc fandom. i promise you i didn't do this on purpose and i don't hate or stopped liking any of you. it just... things got weird and a bit too much in my head and now idk how to keep contact without looking extremely weird in this fandom

anyway! entering another fandom has been weird not only in means of interests but also in means of communication. ever since i remember my tumblr activity in any fandom, i always tried to interact as much as possible with other accounts and talk with people, whether that was via posts or messages. in the jo fandom i feel like i have kinda failed that

i'm aware that i post a lot and i'm probably everywhere with the content updates and the gifs. and that may be annoying to some people. and i understand it, i don't like it but i understand it and i wanna apologise for being... all over the place yet not really reaching out to anyone in the fandom or building any kind of online friendship

idk if there's an accurate explanation for the way i feel about this so i'll put it in the best words possible: i wanna make jokes and have fun in here and exchange random messages or mentions in posts and talk shit or not about jo etc, but i feel like my social anxiety (both online and offline) has passed any limit i had put to it until now that i end up thinking it's actually wrong to interact with anyone in this fandom. because everyone has already connected with some people and have built a specific line of interests and you all seem so fucking cool for someone who is as insecure and scared to talk as me so i end up hiding behind my gifs, shitposts and content updates in hopes that people will like me or at least aknowledge i exist in this fandom. and again, that's all on me, there's no one to blame for this behaviour but me and my fucked up mind (which got even more fucked up in the past year). so idk, i feel like i wanna apologise for this, for being like that

however, no matter the anxiety, i must admit that the jo tumblr fandom was actually my escape when things in real life got bad bad. i've spent hours scrolling through the jo and kaarija hashtags in hopes of seeing something unhinged and funny to lift my mood and you know what? i found something every single time. and that was more than nice. if it wasn't for all of you being as funny and crazy (in a positive way) as you are, i'd feel even worse. but every time i open the jo hashtag there's someone posting a wholesome thing or saying something unhinged like how many ways has Kris listed to kill Bojan in his sleep lmao

anyway i ended up writing a lot, this could easily be an entry to the journal that i don't keep but maybe should start keeping. if you read until this point, congratulations for going through all this ramble and i'm sorry

hope 2024 is gonna be a lot different than 2023 but in a good way this time. and i hope i get better and actually get to interact more with all of you great people 💕 and obviously i hope you all have a fantastic year ahead of you 💖

[therhythmafterthesummer]

I’m new to your lore and werewolf stuff in general bc I didn’t like it until I saw your stories and I was wondering.. you mentioned in some wr ask that Chris had had some human gfs before and now ofc woman of the year pretty who is also human. In the werewolf lore is it that a human and a wolf can just be together intimately and it just fits like .. lock and key😭😭 I mean is there not any difficulties? Or is the unturned cucumber just normal? And did he even have sex with humans before and was that why it didn’t work it? Is pretty just the queen of monster cucumbers? Idk im just curious if the thought of this makes me you uncomfortable I’m sorry and if you don’t wanna answer just don’t 🌸♥️ oh and of course as you can tell by how you activated the never ending curiousness in me I love the stories!

pretty, woman of the year AND queen of monster cucumbers KJSHDFKSJDF

i hope you know i'm cackling over the concept of "unturned cucumber" 😭😭😭😭

i love this question, i'll answer under the cut!

okay, so... Chris' unturned cucumber looks virtually like a human penis. if anything, it's a very above average, concerningly big appendage, but it certainly looks normal (alpha's by nature have big cocks, that's just how it is).

the fact that it looks normal doesn't mean it's exactly like a human cucumber, though. we know for a fact that even in his human form, he produces copious amounts of fluids, and he's able to "pop a knot". this last one would've been the most clear indication to anyone else that he wasn't normal. however, in this universe, an alpha con only pop a knot if they're going into rut (and maybe..... maaaybe if their partner is ovulating... but i haven't decided on this one fully yet, so take it with a grain of salt lmao).

this means that, as long as he wasn't going into rut, he would've been perfectly capable of having a human partner. and he was! he did have a human partner. maybe they had a bit of... technical difficulties, considering his size, but that's something that can surely be troubleshoot, where there's a will, there's a way 🤣

i don't think he spent his rut with this human partner at any point, though. in my head, he might've tried to spend his rut with someone else once and realised something wasn't right, which is why he usually spent his ruts alone. but even that time, i don't think it would've been a human.

as we've seen with minho and kitten (and i'm taking them as an example because they're technically not soulmates), humans can, in fact, take an alpha's cucumber, and a knot. although, it's very likely that not all humans can, considering how vaginas come in all shapes and sizes, and some might be too short, the cervix might be too low, etc. again, where there's a will, there's a way. the ass is there (which is much more lenient when it comes to big cucumbers), the thighs are there, there are just many other options skjfhsdjkfh

pretty isn't necessarily the queen of monster cucumbers, but she's the queen of chris' monster cucumber specifically. the universe made her for him, just like it made him for her, so they naturally fit together perfectly, like in your lock and key simile.

in It's Cold Out, pretty's inner voice in the narration does say that if he had been any bigger, she doubted she would've been able to take him in at all, which is kinda true. but the bottom line is that he isn't any bigger, he's just the right size for her.

hope this answers your question!! if not, feel free to drop another ask and i'll gladly answer~

also, these concepts apply to wereroomies' lore specifically. other a/b/o universes might work a bit differently (:

thank you for sending this in, i loved thinking about it!!

[tame-a-messenger]

“From the makers of the hit single Beans on Toast on Bread on Beans comes Lie, Cheat, Make a Mean Cobbler” I love when one of them jokingly says that something sounds like a song and then they both just run with it. No but this seriously made me want a Damien and Angela duet. I feel like their voices would actually sound really good together

Another moment I loved from that video (besides Damien trying to help her of course bc we love supportive damangela here) was Angela going “from the ashes I will rise” when she was losing because that’s such a Damien ass thing to say 😭 like I can literally hear him saying that lmao. I love how his nerdy antics rub off on her and she just ends up doing them herself (famous example is her making fun of “the heart of the cards” to her saying it unironically). Also the fact that you can hear her say ew immediately after saying that bc that’s their dynamic summed up without him even doing anything lol. Angela saying a Damien coded thing and immediately being disgusted by it is so them. And I also spent way too long trying to figure out what Damien said in response to that but all I could tell was that he was doing that deep dramatic voice he does when he says nerdy stuff exactly like “from the ashes I will rise” lmao

I love Damien and Angela so much because he brings out the nerd in her and she brings out the theater kid in him and those two instances are perfect examples of that

I also love it when they both just run with each others jokes! I truly don’t understand why they haven’t done a duet yet? I cant really see why they wouldn’t? the only real time they’ve sung in the same song is the Sleepover Live! “Rock my motorboat” but they weren’t really singing together just in the same song. I think their vocal tones and range match really well (her being an Alto and him being a Baritone(?I think?)) I think I’d die on the spot if they did do a song together. They’d sound too good so they’re keeping it away from us!

I KNOW! she said “From the ashes I will rise!” and it made me rewind just to see it wasn’t Damien! My suspicion is- she only makes fun of it because she likes it. like you said she’s a theater nerd, she’s as cringe as it gets so I think she actually thinks the things he say’s are cool (Have you seen the faces she makes at him when he’s Mr. Grub? looks like awe to me. Or maybe just look at the whole Smosh DnD series, and how much she gushes about him in the wrap up video) and I think he knows it. With that though, she likes to make fun of him! It’s the best way to get someone to warm up to you fast! 

WAIT I just rewatched the video and I know what he’s saying!! she goes “From the ashes I will rise!” AND HE GOES “But first you will burn.” talk about nerds.. 

Them bringing out the nerd and theater kid out in each other is so wonderful to see. You can tell how much fun she’s having playing DnD and nerding out. And him when he does get to sing, he obviously enjoys it.

I truly love them both a lot. I hope we get to see more of them doing fun stuff this month and all of next year!

[webslingingslasher]

girl theres so many things happening in my life rn.. rmr my old crush that i ghosted and said sorry to, then told me we're all good and now we're still friends?

guess what, i saw him today!! i had an event coverage and i saw him there, we just exchanged hellos bc i was busy taking photos and he was with someone (who later on i found out was a professor and not a friend lmfao he looked like a student😭)

but yea after the event, he msged me and then we caught up with each other!! we talked for so long lolol but man.. he said me misses me 😭😭 he told me that after the time we spent back then, he didnt rly have anyone to talk to bc i was rly his only friend that time.. and then i ghosted him?? I FEEL SO BADDD i never knew he felt that way 😭 and i never knew that i was his only friend that time, i mean he does have friends yes but his closest ones are in diff campuses so :︎’( but yeah like.. wow.. 💔

it couldve been us against the world fr esp when i broke up with my ex bffs (which i also told him abt today bc he met them before).. 😞

i always knew this but it just sinked in to me that im always the person who leaves.. ive always had my reasons and i can still justify them except for when it comes to him bc that was just rly bad :( and then the thing w my ex bffs (for very valid reasons).. i'm just hoping that'll be the last time i leave someone behind..

ahaha it'd be ironic if the next thing to happen to me is someone leaving me instead lol.. im not trying to manifest it but i think it's bound to happen at one point lol thats life i guess

also.. lowkey i had a feeling he'd be there at the event LMAO we didnt even talk weeks prior but i guess i was right 🤷‍♀️ kinda crazy tho like.. whats this reconnection for @ universe haha i didnt do anything..

also also.. rmr my friend had a crush on him too? and i was very sure he liked her back haha. well im not sure, idk what happened w them but she stopped posting abt him. i think they're just friends now bc my friend's mom told her not to do anything w the guys asking her out 🙁 ig it's bc it's been 4 months since her breakup w her bf of 3 years.. she seems happy tho hahaha

and then this happened.. idk life's so crazy rn what is this lmao this all happened in a Week..

-🧚🏼‍♀️

yay!!!! the way this has come full circle and you’ve grown so much!!! i’m glad he has a friend again and so do you!

[waffles-for-brunch]

20 questions for fic writers!

tagged by @lovevamp

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

4. One's an okay oneshot, then I did a fix-it after 15x20, then I lost my mind completely and spent three years on a season 12 rewrite and now I'm back again writing another fix-it. My twilight zone is self-inflicted.

2. what’s your total Ao3 word count?

540,492 (insert kevin james shrugging meme here)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Just Supernatural. I started writing a fic for Baldur's Gate Bloodweave but then Destiel dragged me back to the dark side. Maybe I'll finish that one eventually.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

they're not gonna be in order bc I'm just gonna go thru my bookmarks real quick but - "And this, your living kiss" by opal_bullets "On labor" by a_good_soldier (i reread this one twice this week) "The Nanny" by Kitmistry and those are the ones i feel like mentioning. :)

5. do you respond to comments?

Admittedly rarely. Mostly because I'll open my email when I'm getting up in the morning and read them and then work all day and forget to respond. I do appreciate all the comments I get tho. And a lot of the really kind ones I send to my groupchat and/or save in a folder on my email labelled "nice comments" also just sometimes I don't feel like I have anything to say. Like idk sometimes thank you just seems too small or something you know. It's strange. Then I'll just get in my head about it and say nothing and the cycle repeats lmao. But I do read them all.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Dog you know I'm not writing any angst without a happy ending. I can't take that shit lmao. It's happy endings only in this house. Happy and found family and loveliness. :)

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I literally end everything the same way. Please I have the worst case of projection imaginable with these fics.

8. do you get hate on fics?

If I do I'm unaware. But I'd probably know it if I do, I stalk my own name and fics wherever I can because I'm insane and nosey. But nah the most I've gotten is just people being mad about a certain character's actions, but like that's not even hate it's just frustration with a character which is a given in certain circumstances. Now if someone was like "wow bad characterization" I'd be like girl, but no I think people are pretty respectful in my corners for the most part.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Bro let me tell you in "Our Old Heroes" I wrote like a singular sex scene and like maybe one or two other hot and heavy ones and good god did they take me so long to write. Like I'm not a very sex oriented person in general so writing this stuff out? Bro it's embarrassing how much poetry I put into that in retrospect (i jest, it's fine) but like I don't generally orient towards it just because it's very time consuming for me. It has to be very intimate and just right.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you've written?

So short answer no, I haven't. Longer answer I love the concept and would be open to it. Particularly if it involves Dean being psychoanalyzed in some way because that's my favorite thing to write so it would probably be criminal minds. I think crossovers have so much fun and wonky potential tho.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope someone printed my fic to bring into prison and make a black market hot commodity. It would be the highest honor. I guess that's not theft, it's just the free market. But so I guess really no, if I have I'm unawares.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of but I have had people comment in other languages or on twitter people will talk about it in a different language, which is pretty crazy. It's so wild we can be so connected to a story in that way despite not speaking the same language or growing up in the same environment.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no! but as @lovevamp has said we've talked about a few that I'm certain one day we will follow through on. I've also talked with @icaruspendragon about maybe doing one at some point bc we seem to have the exact same mental illness that is the dean winchester brain disorder.

14. what’s your favorite all time ship?

I live breathe and bleed destiel, it's truly unfortunate for me.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I just have a lot of ideas in my docs that will probably never become more than the ideas they are. Usually when I start a fic like for real I follow through with it. I would feel bad if I didn't lol.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I've been told my characterization is pretty good, which I appreciate. If it was bad I'd probably kms (jk). But fr idk that's the biggest comment I'll get is in regards to that which I really do like because I spend a lot of time trying to find a balance and make sure I'm expressing everyone the correct way they'd express themselves or not express themselves.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Sex scenes aside I do struggle with action mostly because I find it boring to write out. You just have to try and find so many different words. Ugh. I love dialogue. That's really where I start getting going. But writing action? I tend to do that last because I wanna get through all the good bits first then circle back and do the boring bits.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

listen I can barely remember english i'm sorry

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i'm an og baby i started here (destiel) and this is where i'll die (maybe not, we'll see)

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

Well, I don't really have many so it's probably the massive one. "Our Old Heroes" by adelaclancy (that's me). I was really in a bad place when I started it and I kind of just gave myself this crazy project for several reasons. One I was stopping drinking so I needed something else to do with my time. Second I was jobless and goalless and really didn't have a lot going for me and writing was really the only thing I have ever had consistently so I was like okay well I'll start this stupid project and it's gonna be like 26 chapters and 500,000 words long and it's gonna delve into all my issues through projection of these fictional characters and if I actually manage to finish it I can finally say I finished something. So I did. And I actually managed to work on myself a lot in the process. So over all that time I went from living in bad straights as an unemployed drunkard to a full time worker with a few years sobriety under their belt and a better sense of my own boundaries and thriving friendships and I dunno man, in a way that fic really was a bridge for me and I think in that too for a lot of the readers they get to see that now too. Like they can see my little notes at the beginning of chapters and how they change over time alongside the characters in the book and it's kind of an experience in that way I suppose. If not through Dean Winchester and Castiel then maybe through me, if someone out there finds a little bit of hope from that silly little mess of words then I suppose that's something to be proud of then, isn't it? Anywho...

tagging: @icaruspendragon

(Bro I know like two people sorry)

[daveyfvckingjacobs]

Esther! That was her name! I kept calling Davey’s mum Mrs Jacobs cuz I couldnt remember 😂

THOUGHTS! Ok so this one is actually really long and really sad so… sorry lmao

Jack and Spot didn’t always hate each other. They actually used to be close. Before the refuge, before Spot moved to Brooklyn, before Snyder. Bc this is based off UKsies Spot is a girl so in the refuge she and Jack were split up, put into different cells. Jack was 12, Spot and Race were 10. Jack had promised Spot that he would always protect her but as their time stretched on Spot started to notice something. Jack had a new kid following him around. Some scrawny kid with dark hair. He looked about the same age as her. Due to them being opposite genders they had to sit on opposite sides of the room at meals. He still waved to her but that was their only interaction. When Jack escaped he took the other boy with him, and not her. He left Spot to fend for herself for the rest of her time in the refuge. Jack had promised to always protect her and he didn’t do that. When she finally saw him he was fine. Smiling and laughing along with the other Manhattan boys, arms wrapped protectively around that new boy’s shoulders. Spot ran. As far as she could before her exhaustion caught up to her, halfway across the Brooklyn bridge. The next time Jack saw Spot she was different. She had seen how cold the world was to people like her. Unlike Jack she had had to claw her way to the top. She had fought and starved and hurt and bled to earn her place as the king of Brooklyn. She was scarred she was broken she was selfish and cold. Jack wanted to help her. He wanted to hug her and tell her he was sorry. But she didn’t want to talk to him. Because she hadn’t seen all the tears and blood jack had shed in his guilt of leaving her. She couldn’t tell by his face that he never forgave himself for not going back for her. Spot hadn’t been there for all the nights he had spent wondering what happened to her, wondering if it was his fault and cursing himself for being so scared of Snyder that he couldn’t go find her again.

and Race? My boy was oblivious. He knew Jack was sad all the time even when he looked happy. He learnt how to help when things got bad. But Jack never wanted to talk about it. Despite all of this Race finally had someone who loved him. Someone who was alive and well and didn’t care that he smoked and held him when he cried and always made sure he was fed. And Spot didn’t blame him. Drawn like a moth to a flame Jack’s kindness and warm personality drew in all the other kids. He was the brother or the father that so many of them didn’t have, and honestly she was glad that he hadn’t hurt anyone else the way he hurt her. - 🤠anon

oh my god :(((

jack never has the words to express when he’s failed someone, never has. he knows he let her down and he wants to fix it but spot won’t let him. and jack gets that - he isn’t sure he’d let her, if the roles were reversed. part of him tries to understand how much what happened hurt, how it looks like he was replacing her or didn’t care anymore and sometimes late at night, when he can’t sleep, he’ll resent race for it, just a bit. for needing him the way he did, for being a replacement, for helping him lose spot. he immediately hates himself for it of course, knows it isn’t race’s fault and pushes those thoughts that only last a few seconds fiercely away. it’s just the way things worked out, he can’t change it. and yet it hurts so much he can’t breathe when he tries to reach out and gets pushed away instead, when spot sneers and tilts her chins and shrugs him off. he can’t explain why unless someone pushes him too, because the words won’t come otherwise. they get stuck in his throat but he just can’t say them, and with spot having given up on ever hearing them, he doesn’t think he ever will. he hopes spot understands though, even if she won’t say it. he hopes she knows he would never give up on her like that, that he helps every other wayward kid day in and day out because he failed her. that he wants to make up for what happened that wasn’t even his fault

she sort of knows it too. until the rally. then it all comes crumbling down again