#hope nobody finds this weird
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Cleaned guess, though it was more like I just threw some stuff around:
#this is just for fun#hope nobody finds this weird#i'm slowly going insane#also in pain#and cannot figure out how this sleep thing works
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i nearly anon'd the thorki non-con fic out of SHAME but in two weeks it's become my third most clicked-on fic of the year, behind only a multichapter fic and a bit of angsty sifki porn lololol
#this is about 560 hits btw which i know is not much for bigger fandoms and it's just that i tend to be in some weird niche but gosh!#i'd written thorki before but it wasn't e-rated so if the non-con tag really did work against it then wow no wonder ppl write this pairing!#you ever been to reddit where someone posts about how their latest fic only got 20k hits in a week and you're like “WTF”?#and it turns out they're in some hugely popular fandom and that's the least read fic for that pairing on the entire site by a mile.#that's like glimpsing a parallel universe. what a strange place. why would any fic ever have more than 1000 hits omg!#and 1000 would be for if you wrote something Surprisingly Popular. like e-rated thorki non-con apparently is.#meanwhile 'cockroboros' may only have 35 hits but every one of those 35 people agrees that i was right to write that thing!!#and me and the other 86 people who wanted to see missy interact with jamie moriarty are besties now <3#SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I TURN THE NUMBERS BACK ON OH NOOOOOO THIS WAY LIES MADNESS!!!#the sifki one had a bump recently which i must assume came from one of those 'recced it in a discord but never said a word' incidents.#those are increasingly common and i hope i am not alone in finding them ever so slightly creepy#if you're going to look at me you need to at least pat me on the head to cancel out the anxiety of that damn it!#*flashes back to when i hid that one ten'n'donna fic because nobody would tell me where all the readers were coming from*#fic related#anyway i think it's important to mention i wrote thorki non-con fic in case anyone following me thinks i am Unproblematic in some way.
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LITTLE PSA FOR ALL MY DOTTORE FANS OUT THERE
HE DOES NOT HAVE EYES UNDER THE MASK HE HAS MECHANISMS
a couple screenshots in vrchat, it’s hard to tell here but his “skull” is hollow beyond the “eye” there.
I hardly if ever see anyone draw what’s ACTUALLY beneath his mask which is so tragic because it’s so interesting that he has robot parts under there!!!!
#genshin impact#il dottore#dottore#I’m really surprised that when his model leaked back in late october nobody talked about this!#and nobody seems to really know but I really thought it’d become common knowledge because of how cool it looks#oh well. I hope more people will find out from this post if nothing else#let! him! have! his! cyclops! robot! eye!!!!#normal eyes dottore is out weird cyclops puppet thing dottore is IN
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2023 reads
The Deep Sky
scifi mystery thriller
on a deep space mission traveling from an environmentally devastated earth with hope to restart humanity elsewhere
when they’re halfway, an explosion kills 3 crew and pushes them off course
the only witness is the Alternate who has no specific role, and she has to figure out who caused it & if they might continue to sabotage, while they're figuring out a way to get back on course with limited resources
flips between present and the past: of her childhood and training for the mission, her identity struggles, and relationship with her mother
questions the ethics of ‘restarting’ humanity elsewhere vs putting resources into fixing earth
#the deep sky#yume kitasei#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#i really loved this!!!!!#very intense but also a lot of interesting character introspection#love the virtual reality AI aspect!!!! though I do feel like. in the end I was expecting it to go way further with it?#(basically like instead of seeing the inside of the ship all the time they can 'be' in forests or aquariums or whatever)#no romance#(there’s side lesbians; and one flashback scene where she briefly wonders about kissing a random person; that's it)#emotional core about her mother and brother and best friend !!#i like that it gets into the flaws of 'humanity's last hope on another planet' bc like. yeah in real life things....don't work like that...#why is there zero acknowledgement that the concept of every one of them being expected to give birth being extremely fucked up?#like obviously everyone on board is there because they agreed with that but there’s not a single flashback of#when they found out that information; or mention of someone questioning it...#(for example a character mentions that they hid their mental health/use of a therapy animal bc they wouldn't have been let in and the -#eugenics around that is iffy to say the least)#but to me. pregnancy is horrifying and nobody questioning that was weird.#also there’s supposedly 80 people on board but we get to know less than 10 of them which felt a bit strange at points#Also! I love the cover. I can’t find the designer (the book info only credits the internal lllustrator..)#also: bird facts!
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ughhh I need to stop having mental breakdowns over little things.
#vent in tags#chat sesh with iris#vent#tw vent#I feel like everyone hates me and even you all hope I die and nobody likes my ships bc everyone thinks I’m not good enough for my f/os#and the worst part is that none of it is unfounded!!!#none of my friends are talking to me AT ALL anymore even when I start conversations#(including in text)#while they actively talk to other people WHERE I CAN SEE IT!!!#only one of my friends is and all they do is send me anti bs and go ‘omggg these people are so weird!!!’ about like anyone who ships with-#certain characters (including ones that I SHIP WITH!!! which is why I don’t talk about it other than here)#people are like ‘omggg… I hate it when men like these characters. you don’t get them and they’d never love you.’ about my f/os#which triggers dysphoria and self loathing and fear about my ships#tw suicidal ideation#<- somewhat#I don’t like anything about myself and I don’t deserve anything that I have#man. I don’t even want to be here anymore#also I have severe mental illness that has caused a lack of possibility for happiness that lasts longer than fleeting moments#I have not spoken (like aloud) to anyone other than my parents since THE THIRD!!!#I’m going to ask my psychiatrist for testosterone on Wednesday but idek if I’m gonna make it until then#probably I will because I’m too depressed to gather the energy to do it#also she might even say no or not be able to prescribe it#and this isn’t even why I’m the most upset rn but I REALLY need a win#also my mom was like ‘you haven’t given me another name so I’ll just keep calling you the name I gave you 😊😊😊.’ instead of. idk. asking me?#tw suicide#okay yeah the tag is fully warranted now#I like know how I’d do it and everything#I also had a panic attack because I couldn’t find my quilt hashtag just autism things!!!#not takeover#obviously
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Happy Easter!
I went to see my father and brother and I took Barney dog with me! First, we painted some eggs 🥚🖌
Then we had lunch 😋🍽
And then the easter bunny came! Barney dog helped me find all the chocolates, some were high up in a tree!
Easter haul!! 🐰🍬
Also look at this bug that climbed on my pants while i was taking photos! 🪲
We went mini golfing afterwards too, I'll make that a separate post!
#agere#age regression#bug#my family doesn't know i regress (and i hope they never find out) but i'm weird enough to do all this without anyone questioning it lol#nobody even batted an eye. i'm just like this#love that for me#little bunny friends
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i have zero interest in the dad's speech. i just want a better look at chef mhon in this outfit
#last twilight the series#like is it sheer? presumably just the drapey bit but i need to KNOW#also idk what the marriage blessings are usually like but why the fuck is she talking about porjai's bad experience with men?#porjai and night have presumably been together three years at this point?? i know it's to hammer home the second chances thing but WOW#the vibes are just so weird#also FUCK as an orphan myself my heart fucking breaks for mhok tearing up as he watches porjai get a new mom when he has FUCKING NOBODY#maybe singha is like family now or at least i fucking hope he is#though ramon was like i have enough sons and nodded toward day AND mhok i wonder if she meant both of them#man i wish we'd seen her finding out about night's single mom girlfriend. what a conversation that must have been
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i redrew some of my doodles with @jnephrite while in class
#we were so bored#i hope you guys like my version of chloe#chloe has a face of a bee and everhthing else is normal#thats it thats the whole au#chloe has a face of a bee and nobody ever acknowledges it#maybe mari is the only one who finds it weird idk#miraculous au#miraculous ladybug#shitpost
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Anyway electric kettles are a thing here I promise lmfao
#girlbob.txt#there is. a very weird trend of assuming that one bitch not knowing something#means nobody of x place does#(it's often when americans say something which is like *destroys that rant for everyone's sake*)#it's fine i understand the complexities anyway#my housemate's kettle is cute as shit#and i hope we find a really pretty one with temperature control for all the different teas we have
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✨Cleaned:✨
#this is just for fun#hope nobody finds this weird#i'm slowly going insane#also in pain#and cannot figure out how this sleep thing works#haha
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just had a nice moment of appreciating my friends all over the world (aka those of you i know here) because today’s episode of the podcast criminal told the story of a historical murder of a woman by her husband, and how when she went missing it was her friends who questioned her husband and found his answers suspicious and went to the police and refused to give up, and were even the ones to memorialize her in the end.
so given how small my daily life is, how in my actual city i only know the two people i live with, i just find it randomly sweet and comforting to know that i have at least two friends (and likely more) who i have never met in person who would be genuinely concerned if i cut off all communication suddenly, and who would probably politely hound the people they knew to be in my physical world until they received sufficient answers.
it’s like, i don’t expect to be murdered anytime soon, and i definitely would never expect my family to cover it up if i was, but knowing how easy it sometimes is for people to disappear and have nobody miss them, i am very grateful that i can say for certain i would be missed and worried about.
#it's a weird thing to think about but it's one of the things i think about re: growing older#because i'm estranged from my bio family to begin with and also#because on the rare chance that i outlive my family somehow then i know that i'll have to find ways to create community ties#wherever i am at that point (though i also hope to have longstanding online friends too)#because the not at all rare possibility of ending up living alone as a senior citizen is more likely for me as a person without kids#and i read a depressing amount of news articles that include examples of senior citizens who die alone and nobody realizes for days#randomness#i have the best mutuals#life stuff#(kind of?)#podcast
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#yeah I read her posts I fucked up monumentally#why am I even ranting on here#nobody is gonna read it I’ll probably just delete it later#I think I’m just gonna#sit outside and smoke everything I have fuck else am I gonna do right now I’m stuck here#can’t go home my friends hardly even talk to me I csnt leave here at all my hobbies#don’t interest me or give me any joy or entertainment#idk what to do to make myself GO to have motivation and to be able to face something#that triggers this crippling panic and to be able to move forward through it#it’s immobilized me every time my entire life and I just want to be able to fight it somehow#just once I want to find a way to quell it but I couldn’t even do it for autumn if I couldn’t do it for her#how tf am I ever#I csnt even breathe#pretty sure my pacemaker makes heart attacks nearly impossible my heart literally hurts it’s going so fast#I ever can feel it due to the weird muscle shit unless it’s at least like 200#yeah gonna go smoke and hope my body stops doing this#probably just gonna think about her for a long while
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me being largely nonhuman/antihuman and a lesbian, therefore being forced by my brain to be attracted to humans has actually allowed me to fully understand how men attracted women who say they wish they were lesbians are real and based and do not deserve the hate they get. like girl i get it thats literally how i feel about you.
no offense to the good humans out there #notallhumans <3
#i dont actually like or trust women either. bc theyre humans. im just kind of forced into this i think...?#theres only one race: the human race#and im lowkey really really REALLY racist#/hj#the only people who dont annoy me in That One Way eventually are nonhuman or at the very least humans who believe they arent human#or are super autistic and love beasts and creatures#pretty much everyone who recognizes themselves as human unquestioningly and takes a complete all encompassing pride in it#or spews like. ''power of humanity <3'' & sucks off the human spirit casually or loves human centered themes at all is inevitably annoying#like no actually humans arent special in the slightest and if any other animal species had hands theyd probably do a lot better#AND theyd be less entitled about it. humans should stop killing everyone and maybe then ill listen to them about how cool they are.#every problem humans have ever solved was caused by humans in the first place how do you expect me to bow down and praise them#just on the basis that they were born human & therefore everything they do for anything else is heartwarming & merciful & divine in some wa#when theyre just cleaning up their species' own mess#humans are a lot like men in that they want to cry and whine about the problems theyre facing when their own people did that#and then expect a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum to pick up the mess they were complicit in making for centuries.#which is why i completely understand those man attracted women. the problem is basically the same one but its all inclusive this time#youre allowed to feel attacked for any of this but literally nobody can convince me it isnt the exact same thing bc it is.#and if you want to ''not all humans'' me. then tell me exactly what that sounds like and try to draw parallels as to why thats stupid. ty#humans that struggle still deserve sympathy just like men who struggle under patriarchy#but i dont have to take shit from them when theyre being weird or think theyre better or more deserving of life either.#no one ''deserves'' anything idiot thats just some bs your psyche is telling you to make you feel better#we're all just here to survive. play and have fun. and ideally. minimize suffering when we can. then die. thats like. all of it. thats life#nonhuman#op#my human mutuals are ''some of the good ones'' as they say lmao#sorry about my quirky ramble i just hope some more nonhuman people find this posts tags and Get It
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I'm not joking though ace and aro ppl are literally so annoying because they can't shut up about being ace and aro. They're like the vegans of the not-heterosexual community. You do not need to tell us how you're oppressed for being aro/ace every single moment of the day. Like jeez it's not like you're being killed for existing.
#rambles#i have those tags blocked bc i literally do not care haha#i hope ppl dont get mad at me for kinkshaming alloromantic(?) people and calling them gross#i have poc mentality where it's automatically allowed for me to be prejudiced against the majority bc i'm a minority#that and people that experience romantic attraction are literally so freaking weird#watching romance movies makes me feel like i'm going insane#like that's what you're into? that's literally what you're into? like seriously?#so gross#which it's funny bc i'm addicted to otome isekai#but like......#i feel romance movies are revered because you find them romantic#which is an indication of personal desire because on some level you want that to happen to you#and that's something i do not relate to#whereas otome isekai there's more time for a romance to build and like...... i dont desire that to happen to me#when i think abt the psychology behind otome isekai romance tho i start getting weirded out again#but it's the reason why i can watch and enjoy romcom movies bc i dont feel enjoying them is a reflection of self-desire#nobody watches romcoms and thinks 'omg that's so romantic i want that to happen to me'#the moment i become aware of that mentality then the romance isnt enjoyable anymore#but also i think that in otome isekai letting the romance build over time really helps the weird factor for me#if romance makes sense and is logical and i can understand then it is enjoyable
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Jaya time
I love these moments of nearly cosmic horror when they encounter inexplicable things (at first) they are so intriguing
Is strawhat here?! *Megan thee stallion saying AAH 😜*
This cover just goes hard... Get it chopper
#usopp and luffy wanting to go to skypiea and nami only gets it going when luffy says she won't do it cause she can't... now it's personal#robin getting nami an eternal pose..... yeah exactly#luffy eating takoyaki immediately after he finds an octopus... sanjis speed is no joke#THE FUCKING GUY SHOOTING THE SEAGULL IS THE ONE IN BLACKBEARDS CREW!!!! DAMN#dying swiftly or not is result of your actions??? i guess man whatever#FUCKING BURGESS TOO!!! and the fucking transing your gender virus maker.... here luffy doesnt explode!!!#teach and luffy having complete opposite opinions on everything.... having bad vibes immediately.... incredible its like luffy knew#luffy doesnt fight bellamy bc he isnt worth the fight sinply bc they have different ideals... yeah.. also emerald city when#the pirates that do it for the money and the pirates that do it for their dreams... which is weird bc luffys foil (?) is blackbeard#also a d also a pirate with dreams (the same one even?) but they go about it in two different ways still.... compelling#why dies luffy think about shanks and ace when he hears teach outside the bar i an going insane... why does luffy just stare at him#WHAT ARE YOU THINKING LUFFY!! DOES HE SEE HIM AND SEE COMPETITION??? THATS WHY SHANKS AND ACE TELLING HIM TO BE A GOOD PIRATE??#how do they know about the them. why do they not tell anyone. to this day they havent said A WORD#noland was also from 400 years ago.... we got joyboy noland and toki#also are the next cover stories about ace.... please......... i need to see him#el señor de la noche moment (luffy fighting bellamy) draws near... i am so excited#i love ace being a hobo and just jumping on whatever boat he can find to eat and sleep and nobody refuses bc he's with whitebeard ajdjajkqw#ALSO I MISSED YOU KING!!!! COME BACK TO MEEEE#gorusei kuma and doffy first appearance omg... hello everyone#'if we let redhair act more than its sufficient it could be problematic' does this mean they can control him? shanks sus evidence n.1#'redhair is not one to change the world on his own' is he waiting for luffy??? is that it?? is shanks rogers successor to aid joyboy???#he told something to shanks before dying about laughtale and left that work for him so thats why he went after the one piece right after#joyboy manifested in luffy. thats why he refused so outright to buggy when he proposed to sail together to find it... maybe shanks not evil#lafitte was a cop and is the one to propose blackbeard as shichibukai? for some reason even if he hasnt done anything yet ✍️#whitebeard appearance... loving this in between arc issues even if they are not in between arcs... in between islands arc i guess#see??? why does benn beckman care about what the gov thinks... why would they give af and why would they even think about it#fucking blackbeard was after luffy..... but he 'settled' for ace i am going to be sick#blackbeard should have died when the knock up stream destroyed his ship what happened there....#also i didnt notice cricket smoking so much and trembling akdhsksjk he is hoping he didnt send luffy to die#reading one piece
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Idk if u saw this but there's a writer on here @/luvyeni who basically copied ur whole Tumblr layout😬
yeahhh i saw, but thanks for letting me know! 😭 i sent them an ask about it and i’m currently waiting for a response. i’m not gonna be one of those bitches going on a rampage over a tumblr layout cause it’s never that serious but i was genuinely shocked when it came up on my tl cause i follow them lmao… i get taking inspiration from other writers (i do the same) but it’s another thing to straight up copy and paste a whole writer’s account…
#hoping to resolve the issue peacefully!#so please nobody go to their account and send hate or general weird shit about it!!#or harass them#if i find out you will get blocked.#it’s just really kinda disheartening to see something i put a lot of time and effort into just straight up get copy and pasted lmao#﹙📦﹚inbox answers! Ꮺ ָ࣪ ۰
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