#hope it wasn’t me that fucked it up i genuinely don’t know wtf went wrong 😭

[saeiken]

.

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

TBB s3 ep 14

Only one more to go after this, we ready!? (no, pls help)

Yes Hunter, how IS Echo gonna get off the ship?

Oh I see we’re just gonna let him wing it and do it on his own?

Like don’t get me wrong I have full faith in Echo I just don’t like how Hunter is so focused on Omega he doesn’t even try to find a way to help out Echo

He also doesn’t listen to Crosshair’s remark about the Jungle being dangerous

Love how Omega is like “oh base on high security alert? Multiple explosions? it’s my brothers!!”

I swear Rampart and is constant bitching is so tiring

HAHAHAHAHHAH THE BITCH SCREAMS LIKE A CHILD

Gaaaahh Cross talking about his first time on Tantiss

His hand tremor acting up

Poor baby I love him give him a hug

“…but Omega didn’t leave me behind when she could have. I owe her.”

Bro just say you love your baby sisters like it’s not that big a deal we already knew

The utter fucking relief I felt when Echo made it off that ship unharmed

Jesus, I am so scared that we might,,,

Okay I don’t wanna jinx it so I’m just gonna say “scared that the writers pull another Tech”

Aaaaaaand Rampart’s bitchiness got them a) attacked by a giant beast and b) discovered by imperial troops

I hate him so much

Emerie not only recognising Echo but immediately volunteering to help?

She’s growing on me tbh

Is Omega gonna free the Zillo? To get out? Like as a distraction?

Idk that seems kinda dangerous girly

wait wtf that’s it???

That was already 20mins?

I wasn’t ready for the end there I though we were gonna get more😪

Tbh, I think it felt so short because they had to fit three storylines into twenty minutes. I really wish they were allowed 40 minute episodes, then they could’ve really done a deep dive into all three moving parts of this episode. Like at this point it’s not the writers or show runners fault, it’s just that they probably didn’t get the budget to make their episodes that long, which rlly sucks but like,,, ya can’t be mad.

But! I honestly still don’t understand how ALL OF THIS is gonna get wrapped up in 1 more episode. Like how? Genuinely, how?

On the one hand, that makes me worry that the last episode is gonna be super rushed and feel unfinished or whatever but on the other hand it gives me hope that we’re gonna get another show. Because we still don’t know how Gregor, Rex and Wolffe ended up on Silos (?) alone, what happened to their rebellion, where the entirety of the batch went, what the hell Echo Base on Hoth is all about, who tf CX-2 is and Hemlock and Rampart are still alive also?? Which seems like an oversight.

AND all the clones still need to be busted out of Tantiss and relocated and why am I getting the feeling that Tantiss is just gonna blow up with everyone still there and that’s the reason why Rex gives up SHIT FUCK DAMNNIT

Anyway, point being!! This can’t end well any way you slice it. Lovely.

I will say that all in all I did like this episode!! Rampart getting panic attack after panic attack was rlly fun, we got a heart to heart between Wrecker and Crosshair (brief as it was), Echo again proofed why he is an ARC Trooper and why, after the apocalypse and the explosion of the galaxy he will still be standing, and Omega showed us once again that she is a far cry from that scared kid in season 1 and has instead turned into a sharp, competent, mini soldier (lets not talk about the fact that she’s essentially been turned into a child soldier out of pure necessity)

Anyway!! Good stuff, I am terrified of the finale!! Hope y’all enjoyed!! Thanks for reading!! See you next week when I try not to have a breakdown!!

[theauburngunner]

You got a problem because I’m minding my own business and moved on, you want bullshit to start so you can blame me to your puny friends and act like you are just this innocent person that did nothing wrong. Lmao, how cute. stay pressed. You're traumatized?! Cut your bullshit. Lmao, both of you do not deserve the tears you cry for what I did. AFTER what you both did to me.

Fuck being the bigger person, enough being a bigger person. I pray for the both of you to get shitted on so hard, you can not breathe and beg every day for mercy while you are on your knees til the day you die. Maybe one day get your frontal lobe matured enough to know what you did to me, or maybe not. But oh well. It is what it is. G was the reason of starting this bullshit just because she can’t take fucking brutal honesty, I’ve done enough beating around the bush and being gentle with my words. That is not me, when I speak my mind, I speak the truth. Idgaf if it hurts, the truth hurts, not everyone can beat around the bush all the time, I did and it was exhausting (mentally and emotionally)with the same bullshit I had to spew for almost 2 years, attention whore couldn’t get it in her fucking brain. BUT when H says the exact same shit, NOW you’re listening? After everything you did? You didn’t listen to me throughout the two year friendship, but that one moment of her saying it “nicer”..now you want to believe, listen and change? That’s just a big ‘WTF?!’ Moment! Like wtf bro.

Oh and let’s forget the fact you kept “joking” you’d take H from me, IF a fall out were to happen, nice “joke” bro. Literally. Ha ha. Good job on taking H away, hope your attention whore ass is happy for ruining something great, bitch. Hope your attention whore ass is grateful to have a kiss ass next to you like a dog. Just because she said it “better” than I. K bro. Cool. Whatever. It is what it is.

Think whatever you want. You think I got the nerve to be ‘acting like nothing happened t’ both of you don’t know what the fuck I had to do to move on after finding out what you both did to me. So continue thinking I am ‘acting like nothing happened’ the only people that know what I went through after what you both did to me, are friends I won’t name. (Grateful for those friends that are people I can actually call a friend and stayed with me through hell and back)

You disrespected me, took advantage of me, didn’t speak to me and instead went to other friends to start something we could’ve maturely talked about, but when I took it upon my hands by posting my pov with screenshots and asking for help (because the two people I thought were ‘mature for their age’ would actually talk and not start hell and give a weak ass excuse about entail health’, you got the nerve to be hurt and crying and making me the villain for actually showing my anger for the shit you pulled? Talk about toxic friends..smh. Matter of fact! A friend that both of you know and I know too, told me to not message any of you and just straight up block and I didn’t wanted to but I did. But that’s just a fact I’ll slide on here.

When I posted your screenshots on here, my side of the story, because I wanted advice. Suddenly, you are “hurt”, you are “traumatized”, you are “not forgiving me”…but when I was lost, being silent, letting all of you manipulate and use me, I wasn’t “hurting” you, “traumatizing” you. What the fuck type of logic is that? Make it make sense bro. If I am so "biased" and "missed out on big portions of the story" then please enlighten me, without being a manipulative gas lighter. Take my "apology" how ever you like, If you think my apology is not enough, okay. idc. In that moment when I sent it, it was genuine..now? Of course I take back that apology, what the fuck am I suppose to apologize for? you want to "talk" to me now? After months of letting your friends harass me and my other friends? really? Then you want to go ahead and say "I have no responsibility for their actions, i told them not to" Why the fuck would you tell them in the first place< was it anyone's business? No, you started the hell, you told everyone and played a victim manipulator, then want to point the fingers at me, like a brat that did not have it her way and needed people to do your mess. I am so happy I do not have to do your shitty dirty work for you anymore. I can't wait until the others wake up and see how much of a low life bitch you are, that does nothing but act like the world revolves around you..I will just observe in silence. Trust me your day will come, that isn't a threat, it is promise.

Fuck your mental health! Mental health has nothing to do with the shitty personality and evil heart you have! Because if mental health would’ve been the case, I could’ve also made an excuse of mental healths that I have. Fuck your fake ass apology, fuck your fake ass excuse, fuck the memories, fuck actually thinking you two were two people I actually was calling a friend and fuck meeting you two.

Idgaf how you portray me, I said my truth, I’m showing my raw emotions, idgaf. Because at the end of the day, I was honest. idgaf if I am a ball of anger, or being mean, idgaf. This is how I feel about you, after what the fuck you both pulled on me, you deserved more than just me showing my anger in words. What? you expected me to be "nice" and "kind" and "gentle" and not be mad after the both of you betrayed me, used me, and disrespected me? nah fam, fuck outta here with that bullshit, delulu ass shit. the group was better off without the both of you in it.

Fuck friendships, fuck it, I’m staying by myself. Fuck this generation. Lol, fuck everything. Too many times, same shit. fuck it

why should I even delete all of this? Because you are embarrassed of your mistakes? Good. You should be. I know you always stalk my shit and do not have the balls to talk, I know you do. I get notifications almost all the time bro. This will stay on here, can't do shit about it.

Bite the curb in 4k

[nct-lian]

relationships outside of sm

JENNIE + LIAN: JENLI

so iconic omg like how they do it, i have no idea

they hang out all the time and lian is literally ALWAYS on jennie’s instagram

the two of them once had an instagram story conversation over pigtails

like,, jennie posted a picture of lian’s pigtails for that one bicycle performance on her story and captioned it “pigtail baby” and then lian reposted it on her own story with a picture of jennie’s pigtails, captioning it “pigtail eomma”

speaking of eomma, jennie is genuinely her mother

jennie takes her shopping all the time

and in return, lian buys her food

the interactions these two used to have at award shows were SO CUTE

everyone remembers when jennie pretty much yelled out lian’s name and she just came running over to the members of blackpink after taeyong let her leave :(

i’m crying just thinking about it help

jennie also posted a full on instagram post for lian on her birthday and had such a sweet caption with it

it was something like “my daughter is finally 21 today! i hope she has an amazing day and i can’t wait to see her later tonight to give her a gift :) haneullie, lots of love from jennie eomma”

SPEAKING OF THE GIFT,, jennie bought her a whole ass $9000 necklace from chanel because she knew that lian was looking for more

IM IN TEARS AND SO ARE YOU ADMIT IT RN

jenli kpop bestest duo

dispatch once thought jennie was on a date with a girl but it turned out to just be her walking lian home after going shopping with her so they never posted anything about it

they were embarrassed they got something wrong so i get it

omfg when news came out that lian and jinwoo broke up mama jennie was threatening to punch the shit out of him

KEVIN + LIAN: LIMOON

what i’ve been waiting to write for so long okay here we go

so mf chaotic like there are compilations made of these two that scream “go crazy go stupid”

their time as guest mc’s for inkigayo was probably some of the best kpop content we’d gotten in a long ass time

KEVIN IS CAUTIOUS WHEN LETTING HER MEET HIS MEMBERS

cause she’s such a good friend to him and wtf why would he wanna share

“mine mine mine mine” constant dory vibes 24/7

lian thrives off of calling him by his korean name because she knows it annoys him

he’s constantly teasing her for having bagged milk in toronto so he deserves it

the one time lian and jacob talked to each other they seemed to be getting along too much for kevin’s liking so he really went:

“okay lian isn’t it time for you to go” because he WAS GETTING JEALOUSJCLSJX

their styles are pretty much complete opposites and everytime they take pictures together kevin never forgets to mention how off it all looks

“tf is that why are your clothes so boring”

“okay sNaKe pAnTs” because of that one eric moment on kpop daebak show where he said kevin had pants with snakes on them

ALSO BTW LIANS CLOTHES ARENT FUCKING BORING SHES JUST FANCY LIKE THAT

i’m getting heated let me calm down.

they normally speak in english to each other but since lian seems to be stuttering over her words when she isn’t speaking korean, he mixes in a few korean phrases every now and then to help her out

kevin is arguably the most hype every single time lian performs, like he really thinks there isn’t anything better

LIAN MAKES SURE TO UPDATE HER INSTAGRAM STORY WHENEVER TBZ HAVE A COMEBACK SO NCTZENS GO SUPPORT THEM

LIA + LIAN: LILIA

more lian x the canadian line WOOHOO

lia spent her trainee days really looking up to lian and she’s even mentioned before that she’d love for itzy to get the chance to collab with her for a song

she really has her fingers crossed for that btw

they actually met during an award show when ryujin, chaeryeong and yuna all had to leave because it was past curfew

lian decided to sit next to them and during all the intermissions between performances she, lia and yeji conversed to pass time

they ended up growing a friendship together but lian has a stronger bond with lia

she loves all the girls either way but yk

lia and lian love going to cafes together and taking adorable pictures :(

like whenever lia posts on itzy’s instagram midzeys don’t exactly know whether or not lian would be on it too :0

like lian normally posts all the scenery pictures she gets to keep her instagram pleasing whereas lia posts the pictures the two of them take together

my heart </3

lian treats lia like a whole daughter because it isn’t often she finds girls that are younger than her

*screams in the fact that majority of sm’s female artists are all from 2015 and under*

like when i say lian SPOILS her i’m not joking

she will randomly call lia up like:

“hey i’m gonna get you out of that dungeon, come get some chicken with me”

and then they’ll just hang out together

but only if lian is out of the dungeon herself because wbk she ain’t treated very well </3

EUNWOO + LIAN: WOOLI

their chemistry is fucking insane holy shit

like their acting for past to present was seriously so praised, netizens found it hard to believe it was all just for the show

dating rumours follow these two everywhere,, like everywhere

it’s one of the most popular ships inside ncity when it comes to lian and other idols

i kid you not one tweet said “chanhyeok treated jihye so well in past to present, i’m only wondering how well eunwoo would treat lian 👀”

LIKE STOP PUTTING IDEAS INTO PEOPLES HEADS YOURE KILING ME HERE ISTG

but yeah they do look really good together

and they’re an amazing pair for acting

when eunwoo started working with inyeop for true beauty, he said:

“hyung’s dating my girlfriend” because of the fact that both of them have acted with lian and BOTH of them dated her in the dramas

what a coincidence though

we all cried when we saw chanhyeok and jihye kiss for the first time DONT LIE

EUNWOO FOLLOWS HER ON INSTAGRAM

and they wished each other happy birthday on their instagram stories

there’s actually people who like to think that they dated while filming for past to present andddd they radiate big delulu vibes

like you know liskook shippers? wooli shipped are kinda the same, but not as intense (thank god)

BUT CAN WE BLAME THEM LIKE THEIR CHEMISTRY? THE WAY THEY TALKED TO EACH OTHER? PLEASE

they took a lot of cute pictures together behind the scenes (ノ﹏ヽ)

MOMO + LIAN: LIMO

DANCER DUO DANCER DUO

this ship isn’t actually as popular as we would like it to be, but nonetheless people love limo

a lot of interactions during award shows !!

like for example momo’s fancams always captured her dancing perfectly to lian’s choreo

and lian smiling in momo’s direction

i love them

when lian found out about heechul and momo’s relationship, she asked momo if she was her mom now because of how much of a father figure she considers heechul to be JDFJK

“i mean sure”

they’ve actually done a vlive together before (ᗒᗨᗕ)

it was when lian visited her at the twice dorms and they ended up getting bored so they decided to do a vlive in the living room

THEY PLAYED DARE OR DARE AND LIAN HAD TO DO THE TEARS CHALLENGE (so chan whee) ON MOMOS KARAOKE MACHINE

her throat was dry for the rest of the night

after seeing momo’s hair for the i can’t stop me era, lian actually wanted to cut it like that

but she decided against it because she loves her long hair too much

the two of them met on hit the stage where they competed against each other in a freestyle dance battle

after that they just started casually talking over the phone and became great friends

with the way momo talks about lian, you’d think they’re dating-

“oh, lian- she’s so pretty! i love her a lot!”

and the same goes for lian, she loves talking about momo’s dancing skills

JACKSON + LIAN: JACKLIAN

her dad :/

adopted her with amber liu like a year ago so now she’s just his daughter

supports each other like crazy not even joking

jackson promotes her on instagram and twitter 24/7

THEY HAVE SO MANY INTERACTIONS THANK GOD

lian was once given a ridiculously short dress while attending an award show and jackson gave her his jacket to wear over her legs because she wasn’t provided a blanket :(

(keep in mind, she went there without the members!)

lian added all his music to her playlist :)

once got drunk together and spent like three hours doing karaoke but it’s okay cause it was fun

speaking of getting drunk, jackson’s the cool dad that lets her do whatever she wants

he has his protective moments where he’s like “ma’am where are you going on that short of a dress” but he’s also like “hey wanna go get chicken and soju”

they both appeared on a radio show together as guests and they ruined the whole broadcast because they were too loud

like they kept getting out of their seats to go wave at all the fans outside the window and they were just fighting back and forth about whether or not lian’s extensions look real

according to jackson, they’re “NOT AUTHENTIC ENOUGH- LOVE YOUR HAIR FOR WHAT IT IS, LIANNA HANEUL BAE.” lian’s hair lives matter :/

PLSSS WHEN HYOSEOP AND LIAN STARTED DATING- no

jackson was so proud that his good friend was smooching his other good friend but the protective dad instincts really kicked in

“break her heart and you die no cap”

was surprisingly chill when they broke up though, he was just glad lian didn’t cry

SUNMI + LIAN: SUNLI

SUNMI IS HER MOM OHMYGOD

so many interactions

honestly took lian under wing once she debuted as a soloist

female kpop soloists gotta have each other’s backs in this industry man :(

sunmi calls lian her princess SOBS

lian always hugs sunmi at award shows, like if they’re sitting close together

or if they’re standing next to each other on stage

you bet your ass lian is gripping onto sunmi for dear life

did a photoshoot together for marie claire korea

they’re so hot bro

BUT THEY FIRST MET ON WEEKLY IDOL NOT LONG AFTER LIAN DEBUTED AS A SOLOIST

they were kinda awkward ngl uh

but by the end of it they were besties :DD

and they’ve been besties ever since

lian is the ceo of doing dance covers for sunmi’s songs

cmon lian we’re waiting for tail 👀

sunmi has actually met lian’s grandma </3

like her and lian were hanging out at the dorms while the boys were out on a schedule and her grandma just randomly showed up with homemade food so that was definitely a win

BANG CHAN + LIAN: LICHAN

they’ve been friends for a LOOONGGG time

and chain’s known her since dating back to like, smrookies era when lian was still a red velvet member

like at that time she had no idea he existed, but he was keeping up with her daily :(

chan plays her music on vlives all the time and he always knows the dance moves

like he just dances along in his chair and mumbles the lyrics

we love to see it

a lot of fans ship them together

SURPRISE SURPRSIE AH

only because chan gives off big pining energy

lian only looks at him like “:D” whereas he looks at her like “♡•♡”

kinda sad but

lian promotes him on live so often HVKSVU

“my friend chan is coming back with his group soon, you should check it out! :)”

and the way she just says “my friend chan” LIKE ITS SO OBVIOUSLY A FRIENDZONE BUT HE THINKS ITS ADORABLE

he once got a comment on a vlive to react to lian moments, obviously complying because who wouldn’t

there was this one clip of her saying “my friend chan from stay kids!” and whoever edited the compilation added in squishy noises right after while zooming in on her face

AND CHAN BLUSHED SO HARD NOO

“oh- hahaha, uhh, she’s so cute aw hahahah”

ASHLEY + LIAN: ASHLI

oh god not another lian x mom ship

ASHLEY LOVES LIAN WOAH

like she’s submitted lian’s resume to bm so many times so they could be part of the big tiddie committee together

ashley is constantly, and i mean constantly, reposting all of lian’s posts on her story with captions like “LOOK AT HER GO”

and lian has even discovered all the cool instagram filters because of ashley, and now we get the quality content from her that WE DESERVEEEEE

back when lian’s album came out, all ashley’s story really was was just screenshots of her streaming all the songs and calling them bops

when they first met in person after texting back in forth, ashley spammed her instagram story with pictures of lian that she took without her looking

these two radiate a lot of “YES GIRL WORKKK ITTT TURN THIS WAY OKAYYY POSE POSE POSE” energy

lian’s been featured in one of ashley’s youtube videos and it was when they met for the first time :)

they exchange a lot of gifts through the mail

like lian once found a mug when shopping with doyoung and she thought that it would fit ashley’s taste so she sent it to her apartment

and ever since then they just send random little gifts to each other’s houses

it’s so cute

MATCHING BUCKET HATS THEY HAVE MATCHING BUCKET HATS !!!!!!

ashley talks about lian all the time

she always says that for someone so young, she’s accomplished a lot and she’s really proud of her

they wanna do tiktoks with each other but they never have the time </3

lian spam comments on ashley’s instagram like “WOAH” “OKAYYYY” “YESYESYES”

[wehatejulietsimms]

A/N: i'm gonna respond to this in sections bc it's quite long so bare with me.

Howdy y’all, 🤠 again. Yes, I didn’t in fact die. I’m sorry though that I kept getting sidetracked and couldn’t submit this until now, my boss decided to keep dumping her work into my lap. So I just wanna preface this by stating that I’m going to try and say what I want to as coherent as possible, but I have pretty severe ADHD so I’m not always as easy to understand as I think I am in my head, and I often go off on tangents, over explain things and circle back to topics randomly without realizing. Im basically going to go over their relationship over the years as I said previously (I’m not gonna go into detail about every single scandal and shitty thing Juliet did over the years, because we’d be here all year. so I figure I won’t cover them here, but rather let people ask specific questions if they want to. Remember, I was present for pretty much everything so feel free to ask.😊), but I’m also going to do kind of a mini deep dive into Andy’s behavior and actions (because although the snakes will hit you with every excuse in the book, and tell you that you’re looking too far into things and that it doesn’t matter, it does. The way a person acts in general and towards people around them is very relevant when talking about someone’s health, happiness, and well-being.) To start off, let’s take it all the way back to the time before Juliet’s reign of terror, when Andy and Scout were still together. In all honesty from what I saw of them together (and I saw pretty much everything they posted, I’m only a year younger than Andy, and I was quite into him when he was on MySpace and such, and I always watched anything with him and Scout together because they were fucking adorable lol) they had a really healthy relationship. Not once did I get weird vibes from them. The way Andy acted toward and with Scout, you could tell they really loved each other and were happy together. They had nothing to prove. It just was normal. (For any of you who are younger, or didn’t come into the picture until Andy was already post-scout and would like to see some videos of them together, you could generally search on YouTube for it, but also there’s a specific channel on there called like bring the milk tea or something that has videos of old Andy blogs and also Andy and scout on stickam and such. Worth a look if you’re curious) They weren’t constantly all over each other like possessive pack dogs *ahem Juliet ahem* and whenever Andy mentioned scout he didn’t need to shower her in compliments. They both seemed very secure in both themselves and the relationship. Super cute. Initially when they broke up it seemed quite odd. I didn’t really expect it. It got even weirder when he states that he and Juliet are together. It didn’t feel like they fit together at all (and no I’m not talking about from a fame or success perspective. At least not yet lol) As I’ve said I got bad vibes from Juliet right from the get go. Andy already seemed to be acting not like himself. (Also snakeys have argued that it’s just that he’s more mature now and that’s why he acts nervous and constantly looks Ike he wants to die. 🙄 maturity doesn’t mean losing your fucking personality and being unhappy most of the time. Jesus Christ.) it seemed like they got possessive of each other and constantly needed to show people how in love they were. Pictures, videos, and fucking public love paragraphs to show they are, in fact, in a super real relationship and they love each other. It also felt like Andy’s family was in on this whole weird charade.They (Chris honestly) started to defend her degenerate behavior and attack anyone who had even a whisper of negative things to say about her or their relationship. It was like watching a group of awkward, pretty mediocre actors put on a play about them being together. (I’ve hit the text limit now, but there will be more that I will write just after I submit this one though, fear not haha. N, you can either post this now or wait until I submit the rest, it’s up to you.) 1 / ? -🤠

A/N: i was here for a lot of it as well so i do remember some of this. although i did join the fandom shortly after him and juliet got together (i joined like around the time she was on the voice) i literally remember hoping that him and scout would get back together bc juliet just rubbed me the wrong way and i didn't know why at the time. & side note i actually do recommend people go look at old videos of andy and scout they were really adorable. there is this one video of them singing (i think a carrie underwood song lol) in the car and it's really cute. but yeah just bc he's older doesn't mean his whole entire personality changes. you can be any age and act however you want. i could even use jenna marbles & julien solomita (a youtube couple) as an example, they've been together for i think like 8 or 9 years and are about the same age as A&J (julien being around andy's age & jenna around juliet's age) & although they can have mature adult conversations and all of that, they still act like idiots and joke around together. neither of them look uncomfortable or are afraid of saying certain things like andy is around juliet. so andy aging doesn't mean shit in regards to his personality doing a 180.

🤠okay, so part two here we go. (Also I apologize if I get the chronological order of anything I talk about incorrect, I’m a bit scattered sometimes and the next ask I make will be the one where I talk about the domestic abuse and I tend to get quite heated, which only makes my brain function worse lol) so the point at which Andy was trying to get fans to go vote for/ support Juliet when she was on the voice seemed really fishy. I’m all for supporting the work of the people you love, but it’s kinda strange how hard Andy was pushing this at the time. Too hard in my opinion. I’m obviously aware that it was helpful in the end and he more or less got what he was asking for. But it was like he absolutely needed people to vote for her. As if he would get in trouble if they didn’t. So around 2012 or 2013 it felt like things really went down the shitter from there and just got progressively worse. (I never knew why for the longest time, but after they revealed that Vegas wedding that happened in about that time frame, it made a lot of sense.) Andy’s behavior began to change towards his fans. There are a lot of accounts of this happening from fans themselves and a lot of people said that 1. It was worse with Juliet around, and 2. a lot of the time it would happen towards females especially. ( I think more towards the “pretty” fans but don’t count me on that, I don’t know for sure.) This was completely night and day. Especially coming from the same man who used to always defend his fans and once stated something along the lines of he would never have a crazy or awkward fan story because he loves and is grateful for all of his fans and he won’t get upset if they’re just really excited. I would understand if these fans crossed the line in some way (like the later incident of fans finding his address and harassing them, which is unacceptable no matter who the people are) but from most if not all of the fan stories I’ve heard, they didn’t. They were being respectful and didn’t do anything to warrant this happening to them besides showing up. Which brings me to my next point, a lot of these negative experiences were caused by Juliet. Either she was the one being mean to people, she was causing Andy to be mean to people on her behalf, or her presence was upsetting Andy to the point that he was angry and started being rude and irritable. What scares me the most are the accounts of Andy having a whole Jekyll and Hyde thing, depending on weather or not Juliet was present. Happy when he’s free of her and miserable when he isn’t. In videos of him where Juliet is behind the camera he always seems nervous and strange. Like he’s afraid to mess up. That’s fucking alarming to say the least. You would think that the last thing one would want to do if another person brings them this much anger, stress, and anxiety, the LAST thing they would want to do is fucking marry them. Right? He literally started barely smiling at one point and really doesn’t anymore. I mean for Christ’s sake look at his wedding photos. What’s suppose to be one of the happiest moments of your life and to quote another anon with a different ask, he looks like he’s being dragged to the gallows. (And I get really fucking Angry honestly when snakeys tries to pass it off as “oh he’s awkward he doesn’t know how to smile” or “omg he’s being dramatic for the aesthetics” in some pictures, yes. But why the fuck would you look like that in pictures with the “love of your life” who you now regularly write cringy paragraphs publicly professing your love and complete adoration for? Andy knows how to smile genuinely. Ffs he used to. He smiled genuinely when he was a kid, he smiled genuinely with scout, and he smiled genuinely when Juliet wasn’t around. He doesn’t smile when she is there, and if he does, it is pretty much always visibly fake.) So I may backtrack a little later, but right now I want to talk about the fact that Juliet IS an abuser. More specifically, the plane incident. (Word limit. TBC.) 2 / ? -🤠

A/N: yes. 100%. when it comes to the wedding photos i will never understand people (specifically snakeys) writing off his behavior as him "just being dramatic for the aesthetics". is that something he would do in photoshoots? yeah. is it something he may do on stage? sure. something he would do in an interview? maybe. but candid shots of him on one of the "happiest days of his life"? wtf no. & idk why people think that.

🤠 Just before I start, again, with the pictures, I really don’t think that Andy is enough of a self absorbed egotistical dick that he would actually sit there and put on the whole “miserable tough guy” act in every fucking photo he takes. Ah yes, the infamous plane incident. So straight up, Juliet exposed herself as an abuser, and brought out every bullshit excuse in the book (and made Andy go along with them) to try to cover it up. 1. She was drunk. Honestly this is total bullshit. I say this same thing when people defend cheating or any other degenerate behavior with the excuse of intoxication and I will say it now. Being drunk does not make you a different fucking person. It does not change the thoughts in your head. What it does do is impair your ability to make decisions and judgement skills in general. It’s the same reason why people drive drunk. It’s routine. Its what they would normally do. And because they’re drunk, they can’t see any reason why they shouldn’t do that. Juliet gets drunk, she and Andy fight, she wants to hit him, and because she’s drunk she doesn’t think that she shouldn’t fucking put her hands on him. 2. She hit him in “self defense” and he broke her ribs.(There’s several points I have debunking this) first of all let’s get this out of the way, no one on that plane (including the very real witness who just so happened to be an adult film actress (I think?) who you so love to discount because of it) saw him strike her or even touch her at any time. Two, you are in fucking airplane seats sitting right the fuck next to each other with an armrest in between. It would be pretty fucking hard to break your ribs unless they were made of actual glass, or Andy’s real name is Bruce fucking banner. Bones are surprisingly strong and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it’d be damn near impossible for him to do that to you, which brings me to three, if he had broken your ribs you would not be fucking standing up, thrashing around, whining like a little bitch, and oh by the way, continuing to abuse your husband for the second time on that flight. Four, you had a miscarriage. (When I was trying to conceive with my husband it was very difficult. I had two miscarriages before I finally had my son. I’m fully aware of how devastating having one is.) which is why if you are not lying (which I fully believe that Juliet would stoop that low just to get sympathy, especially with this big of a scandal. But I don’t actually have proof of this so I will say that it is just speculation on my part) I don’t fucking care. I am not unsympathetic to her if this did actually happen as I said, however, You do not get to make any excuse for putting your hands on another person out of anger. Ever. I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what kind of stress you are under, I don’t care if you are inebriated in any way and I sure as hell don’t care what the fuck you have between your legs. You do not hurt anyone. Point blank period. Five. You are a woman, you can’t hurt him. This one, actually enrages me. We all know your crusty ass pulled this one out (and threw around trump supporters a few times for good measure) because you know damn well how society and the media views and deals with abusive women. Women can abuse. Women who are shorter or weaker than their target can abuse. The fact that there are people who either don’t know that or don’t agree with that is absolutely baffling. Six. The same (I believe) porn actress. Literally saw you beating your own face with the restraints you had to be put in (which by the way flight attendants only ever use restraints as an absolute last resort when someone becomes a danger to the others on board, so she had to be acting absolutely deranged) to give yourself a bloody nose to claim Andy hit you. Then you proceed to act like a child and tell Andy to call your fucking dad. (Which kinda proves that whole Scientology thing honestly) what in the hell. I stg as long as I am breathing I will never let this go. This is actual fucking domestic abuse. (Word limit TBC.) 3 / ? -🤠

A/N: yeah her hitting him "bc she was drunk" was never a good excuse not only for the reasons you mentioned but, also bc let's be real at no point are you ever going to get served enough alcohol on a plane to make you that drunk i don't care what anyone says. also when it comes to the excuse of him "breaking her ribs" does she forget that andy actually did break his ribs a while ago? i think she even visited him when he was recovering so she should know what kind of pain he was in. & if he actually broke her ribs, there's no way she would have even been able to stand bc i know andy sure wasn't able to. he said it was one of the most painful things he's experienced. (i don't think i need to comment on the rest of this. it would just be redundant. you hit the nail on the head with that.)

🤠 I don’t care if it happened just that one time ore more likely is an everyday occurrence. Abuse is abuse and should never be tolerated. Kind of getting away from the plane thing. Andy always seems, as it’s been said on here before, afraid to mess up. Like he might mess up, and make her mad. A common behavioral pattern in abuse victims. He also at this point and for a decent amount of time before, doesn’t seem like he loves her anymore. Like he keeps up appearances and pretends, but it’s like it’s a job he’s forced to do. He’s tired and burnt out but was probably manipulated into staying and juliet is probably clinging for dear life. Also I don’t know if I’m the only one who thinks this, but I swear, the veganism and sobering up was just a cover up, most likely formed by either Juliet herself or her fucked up family, after the plane incident to hide their tracks and regain some public favor (because you know, if you advocate for animal rights then you can’t abuse your husband 🙃) Andy never gave a shit before though. Even though it was unhealthy he loved to drink and smoke and was very outspoken about that. And he used to never give a fuck about eating meat or consuming animal products like leather. I mean they’re still selling leather goods ffs. I would get having minor fuck ups because you don’t know any better, but it’s fucking leather. And now Andy is unhealthy and miserable as ever, but the culprit is malnourishment and Juliet rather than cigs, alcohol, and Juliet. My final thoughts: I do definitely believe in the Scientology theory, but if not that than I definitely believe that Andy was and is being manipulated for his fame. On several occasions it really looked like they broke up, including the time when they did, and then said it was a joke. It really doesn’t feel normal. Also, Juliet doesn’t really care about Andy that much. She never wears her wedding ring, she sells all their shit, including sentimental items, and now that she’s gained more popularity from being with him, suddenly doesn’t want to put him in her bio or write him the same creepy ass paragraphs or anything. It’s fucked up how shes so keen to say she did it all herself when really she’s been riding dick for fame since before she even met Andy. It also always kinda seemed to me that Amy was kind of uncomfortable around Juliet. We all know that Chris loves to kiss her ass night and day (most likely to do with the Scientology thing “if” it’s true), but Juliet and Amy always seemed to have a weird relationship like it was tense and forced. Also I just want to mention the time that Juliet talked about screaming at the woman over what I believe was a game night and brushed it off as being competitive and no one gave damn. Fucked up. To finish off this already way too long little series, I think Andy is a very vulnerable insecure person who got manipulated by several people (not just Juliet) some of whom he probably really trusted, and they helped to get him in Juliet’s (equally if not more insecure) hands so she could hurt him as she pleases. I truly hope that even now both he, and his parents (even though Chris really grinds my gears) can get out of this whole shit show, relatively unscathed. I know this is probably pretty unlikely, but hope springs eternal I guess. As I said feel free to ask any questions you may have and I will try to answer them best I can. Thank you for reading. 4 / 4 -🤠

A/N: yet again you hit the nail on the head with this part so i don't need to comment too much. other than the fact that i do agree that juliet and amy's relationship does seem weird.

[zer0-is-me]

Chapter 2 - Izuku and Katsuki

Chapter 1, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

A/N:

Hi there! This is chapter two of... I need a name for this. Uhm, nevermind, if this gets more attention we'll figure it out then. That's a job for future me. Anywho, this is literally for those few people who liked my work and that one person who commented (tysm that made my day <3). Um, here goes writing the next chapter :D hope you enjoy!

Previously:

Eraserhead took a step towards him, and Izuku started to accept that maybe he just wasn't made for vigilantism, when a small something fell between them, clanging loudly in the quiet night.

After a beat, Izuku cocked his head and began, " What the hell-"

And it exploded.

Let it never be said that Katsuki knew what he was doing.

He never claimed that.

Sure, it had been a conscious decision when he started his... nighttime activities, but that didn't mean he had anything actually planned or thought out. At first, the nights were just him wandering around, saving a few people, and going back home at, what, 12AM? 1AM? At first he thought it was late; he should have gone to bed at 8:30PM. But then he thought that maybe it was worth it. Honestly, he wasn't so sure about the whole being-a-hero idea anymore, after... the incident, so why should it matter so much?

But then heroes started to actually pay attention to him. People started to pay attention to him. And his name began to be the one people called out at night when they needed help. This also meant that heroes went after him, too (he found that extremely annoying).

Katsuki wasn't sure why he was doing it.

(Maybe it was for a bit of personal atonement.

For the harm he had done in the past.)

Either way, when he had wandered into another neighbourhood for the night, searching for a lead on a case he had caught wind about, he hadn't been expecting to find another vigilante.

Vigilantes like him were rare; vigilantes who did proper good and did well in the job too, not killing, bitter ones (*cough* Stain, *cough cough*).

He wasn't completely sure why he did it. Sure, he was softer and kinder at night, for some reason, but he still wouldn't help someone who was being targeted by heroes. Let alone a hero he, himself, had been targeted by before as well.

He had been scaling a building with one of his support items, when he realised that someone was already up there - correction; two were. He was about to scale back down, unnoticed, when he overheard a familiar voice.

Huh. He didn't think the hobo's patrolling routes crossed over to this neighbourhood.

" Look, just come peacefully, and you might have a shorter sentence in jail," he heard Eraserhead say. " I honestly think you're doing good, but it's still against the law."

Oh, so there's another vigilante here. Well, if they were gonna get captured by a hero, they probably weren't good enough to be a vigilante anyway. Although, if Eraserhead himself had said they were doing good...

A robotical, glitchy voice answered. Either a quirk or a voice changer, like him.

" Awww, I'm so happy the one and only Eraserhead appreciates my efforts!" Katsuki heard them coo.

They seem nice enough, for a vigilante, so far, he had thought. No killing yet, anyway. Though, he also knew that looks could deceive. He decided not to intervene until he deemed it necessary.

Eraserhead's voice came again, " Yeah, well, I've been on your case for a while now, so I know firsthand how helpful you can be."

The smile was evident in the vigilante's warped voice. The tone was softer, too. " Then don't turn me in. You and I both know crime rates have dropped since I've appeared."

It was silent for a moment, and Katsuki wondered if something had happened. He was about to climb up and check when Eraserhead finally spoke.

" I'm sorry, I can't do that and you know it. It's my job," Eraserhead genuinely sounded sorry. Katsuki heard a quiet slap on concrete, and his mind provided that the hero had taken a step forward.

Internally, Katsuki was having an argument with himself.

He should help them escape. They're doing good, it would be wrong to take a real hero off of these streets.

But, on the other hand, he didn't know this vigilante. He wouldn't save a random lawbreaker! What if he'd misinterpreted the situation? What if this was a villain, and not a vigilante?

Another quiet noise of a foot hitting floor made him groan quietly at how weak-willed he was against himself.

Fuck it.

He grabbed one of his home made smoke bombs from his belt and lobbed it over the top of the roof. It made a loud clang in the quiet night.

After a moment, he vaguely heard the glitching voice of the presumed vigilante say, " What the hell-"

But he was already scaling the last meter of the wall quickly and didn't pay it much attention. With the trigger for the smoke bomb in hand, he pressed the button and heard the bang of it going off.

He leaped onto the roof top and grabbed the vigilante's arm, pulling him away from the smoke and where Eraserhead was trying to wave it away.

When at first the vigilante resisted, he growled quietly, " Do you want to get away, or not?!"

" ... Fine," the vigilante muttered, letting Katsuki lead them away and towards the edge of the roof, behind the hero.

Not waiting for the other to catch up, he let go of their arm and leaped onto the next building, blunting the force with a roll. He began running to the side quickly.

If the other vigilante couldn't catch up, that was their problem.

And yet not a second later, he heard a soft thud and the shuffle of clothes behind him, then the thump of feet joining his.

He jumped onto another building roof and looked behind him, still running. The other vigilante jumped down behind him, their head down, hood covering their hair and eyes.

Behind them, Eraserhead was only just recovering from the smoke and had realised they were gone. He only looked out after them and didn't make a move to follow, however. He must've known they were already too far away. Katsuki looked forwards again and leaped onto the next building.

When he deemed them far enough, he slowed down on one of the taller roofs and dangled his feet off of the edge. When the other vigilante saw this, they slowed down, almost confused. Katsuki felt their calculating gaze on him.

When it had been a few seconds, Katsuki thought that they'd just leave him there in peace. But then-

They sat next to him, feet also dangling off of the edge.

Well, not close to him, fortunately for Katsuki. They sat a few meters away, out of reach if either decided to try something.

A few minutes of silence passed, save for their quiet breathing and the occasional car driving past. Katsuki knew he should get up and carry on the reason he was here; to find clues on the case, but he couldn't bring himself to.

It- it was peaceful, for once. No villains trying to kill him. No suffocating adults or peers praising him not for he, himself, but his quirk. No yells or punches from someone he should trust and be loved by. No chaotic thoughts ripping through his mind, making him doubt and panic.

It was peaceful.

Well, for a while, at least.

" Why did you do that?"

The vigilante had finally spoken up, and Katsuki nearly missed it.

" Hah?" He sideglanced the other vigilante, looking at him properly for the first time.

His eyes were hidden by a dark visor and the shadows of his hood, the rest of his face covered by a black surgical mask. His hood was black with toxic green accents on the rim, and it attached to a black, obviously oversized hoodie. He had a belt which held small pouches and items, and what looked like a bow staff attached to his back. He wore black sweatpants and black trainers. He also wore tight-fitting combat gloves, like Katsuki himself.

" Why did you do it?" the vigilante repeated. " You don't know me, I don't know you. I could be a villain, for all you know. Wait, are you a villain?!"

" I'm not a fucking villain, dumb fuck," Katsuki grumbled, eyes sliding back to the floor all the way down. " And I don't know why I did it. I just fuckin' did."

The other hummed. " ... Well, thanks. I owe you one."

" Damn right you do," he replied.

" Are you always this rude?"

Katsuki turned his head and raised his eyebrows. " Are you always this annoying?"

They huffed a chuckle and crossed their arms. " ... So... What are you?"

Katsuki's expression pinched, as if saying, ' Wtf?'.

" What the hell is that question? What, am I supposed to say a motherfucking fairy?"

The other waved his hands about. " No, no! That's not what I meant! I mean, are you a vigilante? A villain? A hero?"

Katsuki gave him another unimpressed stare, then sighed. " You're fucking hopeless." ("Hey!")

" Let's see, I threw a smoke bomb at a hero and made sure the idiot who was about to get caught by him wasn't caught. I'm pretty sure I'm not a hero," he deadpanned. " And I literally just said I'm not a villain."

" Well, I mean, you could be lying," the other shrugged.

" If I was a fucking villain," Katsuki said, his patience wearing thin, " Then I definitely wouldn't have saved your hopeless ass. I'd say killing you would be a better course of action if I were a villain. I'm considering it now, actually."

The hooded figure ignored the last comment.

" A bit mean, but I get the point, I guess," they said. " So you're a vigilante. Cool, I haven't seen a decent one like me in ages. But, I haven't seen you around here before? Are you new?"

Katsuki scoffed. " Fuck, no. I've been in this for, what, two, three years? I'm from the neighbourhood nearby. Don't ask. What about you? Never heard of you before."

" You don't know my name, how can you be sure you've never heard of me before?" they deadpanned.

" Because I don't care."

The vigilante snorted. " I'm really feeling the love and kindness coming off of you in waves."

" Shut the fuck up," the blonde rolled his eyes. " Fine, what's your name, then, dumbass?"

" It's definitely not 'dumbass'," the other muttered (" Again, I couldn't give less shits."), before offering his hand and saying, " Kibo, the vigilante of hope! Pleased to meet you!"

Katsuki stared at the newly named, 'Kibo's, hand, before ignoring it completely. He stood up, stretching, and turned to leave.

He paused right before he was about to jump to the floor, and sighed.

" Name's Valour. If we're doing your cringe-y ass shit, the vigilante of courage and bravery."

As an afterthought, he added, " And, no, I'm not using your name, dumb fuck."

And then, he was gone.

A/N:

I have decided.

I'm keeping the second A/Ns, and you cant stop me. u dont fuckin control me.

anywayyyyy, this went on longer than I was expecting. Sorry bout that lol. Betcha didn't see Kacchan coming in all his explosive glory, tho.

Ugh i couldn't find a nickname for izu from baku without using his appearance (which, obviously, I couldn't do, even if i wanted to call him 'broccoli reject') so i just stuck with 'dumb fuck' :D It might change, it might not, who knows?

Remember to comment or do that heart thing-y-ma-jigy! Like it? Hate it? Tell me about it! I want to hear your opinions.

Alright bye byeee, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and remember that you deserve the world! Tell yourself that everyday, otherwise here's me saying it and hoping you'll remember it everyday. Because it's true :) Have a great day!! <3

Oh, and @mymanbakugou :D (if anyone wants to be tagged for future chapters, just say so! <3)

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

hello!! hope you've been doing well!! was re(re re) watching ipkknd and going thru ur podcasts and the one about the problematic tropes reminded me of the first time i watched the suhaagraat attempt 2.0 ep and. i found the whole thing so funny bc i genuinely thought arnav was just fucking with her (mean joke tho) but at the end of the day he'd just sit her down and talk but no he actually meant it and i was like wtf. that was not my arnav who was that?? (1/2)

i love how his confession was delivered after bc one i die a little everytime i watch khushi say 'hum bhi aap se ily damnit' and two its somehow befitting that that asshole confessed too in anger but i hate the built up to it so much that was not arnav it was some sexually frustrated clone of his mentally i've deleted arnav from that track completely i dont get what how the writers could butcher their own chars like that but khushi was so damn adorable thru out it i want her

Hello Anon!

Thank you so much for loving the podcast and yes - we're always rewatching IPK, aren't we? :D

OMG same - I literally thought that he's pulling her leg and even then at one point I'm like buddy wait, your beloved is terrified at the idea of having sex. This is not embarrassment, anticipation, curiosity or shyness (things we saw during Diwali and Mehendi).

And when he pulled out the whole SR decoration - and wasn't paying attention to her silence, questions, reluctance - that's violation of consent.

And even Khushi had to put the whole thing about pheres and all instead of being clear about the fact that she doesn't know where she is in his life and this thing, if it did happen, would mean everything to her and solidify a commitment that she doesn't know even if it exists in the first place.

I love Arnav's angry confession (tho it sounded like sexual frustration and his whole anger literally seemed like "you don't wanna have sex, here - let's get married and say what's necessary). And while I love sexual frustration cause its often so well captured in the show - this is where I needed a more solid argument.

Cause Khushi has no idea when Arnav went from "we're a married couple for others but in private nothing exists between us, and this is a marriage of six months" to "you're my wife and I want you, forever"

Cause all of this happened in Arnav's head. Much like his redemption.

And Khushi's whole dialogue of husband, wife, vows, wedding sounded so contrived and back in the 50s and not the emotional commitment she needed so... it was really hollow. Also... I still don't know how comparing themselves to Radha Krishna could 'affect' Khushi given that's a divine couple known for love beyond society and she went oh I must conform to society and not "we still don't know where we stand cause we literally pushed our problems under a rug for your fam and I don't have the choice nor freedom to make my own decisions in the 'relationship'"

Yeah no this whole scene could have wonderfully closed the loop of the wedding because:

1) It happened on the terrace (so poignant!)

2) It involves Arnav's confession

3) Khushi is dressed as a bride

4) They're nearly remarrying

5) They looked hot AF

Like what frustrates me is that they were nearly there with the perfect scene and missed it BIG time due to a shitty buildup and terrible dialogues.

For me, till date, their first wedding is one that has the perfect buildup, execution, dialogues and impact (which is why you can see it inspired a SERIES of fanfics - because that was almost the most perfect scene executed in the show)

Eeks, I think Tumblr ate your third message! Try sending that again and thank you so so SO much for sending this ask. As you can see I'm truly passionate about the things that went wrong in the show *lol*

Much love,

- AJ

[singingforthepromises]

fruits basket manga lb (chs 131 - 133)

CH 131

We’re learning about the origins of the curse now. Oh boy. 

The cat went to God first ;A; 

omg the cat died first.... 

God saved it!

Oh, the cat didn’t want to have eternal life... and the others and God took that as rejection.... seriously? So petty, honestly. I love learning about how it happened but I’m just like... wtf. It’s like all of this generational trauma could’ve all been avoided if God and the animals hadn’t misinterpreted shit LOl

YUKI’S CRYING ;A;

I totally understand Yuki’s feelings here. It must be hard. You’re free, but you’re also letting go of something that was a part of you for so long, something that helped shaped who you are, no matter how negative a situation. 

AH AJSFJSJF HE CAN HUG HER NOW OH MY GOD I TOTALLY FORGOT IM SOBBING

MACHI IS SO CUTE 

She’s calling him by his first name KSFJSJFJSF

AHHH THEY KISSED! ENDGAME YUCHI! <3

“When did that promise turn into a curse?” What I’ve been asking since since the very beginning rofl

AKDGDKG KYO’S SHOWING KAZUMA HIS BARE ARM IM ;A;

KAZUMA IS SO HAPPY SJJDG

Haru and Rin!! <3

omg look at Tohru pulling on Kyo’s shirt how cute

is Tohru gonna see Akito? <3

SHE’S HUGGING HER! I LOVE THIS! I love that Akito can see that even after the curse has been lifted, Tohru wasn’t lying about being there for her, about being her friend. Akito needed this, honestly. I’m very happy with the resolution of their rivalry. I’m happy with how the curse broke. 

“The Cat’s wish... wasn’t granted... until much, much later.” IM CRYINGGG

CH 132

Starting the last volume... this is so depressing, I don’t want this story to be over. 

Akigure time, lol. 

Oh is this the final banquet? 

IT’S SO NICE TO SEE RITSU AGAIN!! <333

“Things might be a bit tense.” Oh, I’m sure. I don’t think it’s all going to be sunshine and daisies. Akito may be behaving a hell of a lot better and changed her ways, but there’s still a lot of pain here, pain that she directly caused. I’m interested to see how this is going to go. 

LOL @ momiji calling Kyo a cheater we love to see familial teasing!

I love that they’re not all awkward around each other. It just goes to show that a lot of their genuine personalities poked through even among the curse. They all do have a bond, curse or no curse. And it’s very nice to see Kyo being actually included in that bond. 

lool fucking Ayame, man. I love him. 

Aww is Yuki kinda sorta looking out for Kyo around Ayame? I love this. 

HAHA 

“Akito’s ready to see you.” sfjsjfsj

OH WOW.

Look at her? She looks so pretty? 

RITSU LMFAO

Oh, Shigure got her that kimono. 

Yeaaah, this is what I’m worried about with Akigure as a ship. Akito’s better, but she still has a tendency to fly off the handle if she thinks she’s being slighted, and it makes me worried about how they would handle dispites and arguments without getting physical like that, you know? I’d hope that she’d do it less and less as time goes on. 

“All of you are free. And this may come too late, but for everything... I’m...” Oh my god. Is she trying to apologize? 

She can’t, though. It won’t come out. I bet she probably feels like sorry isn’t enough, in some ways. How do you apologize for a lifetime of suffering that you’ve caused, the trauma inflicted on other people? 

I guess Akigure are official, lol. I mean, I’m glad that Akito’s getting a somewhat happy ending. Shigure, I still don’t like him but he’s a fantastic character. 

Akito’s gonna stay at the estate and be the head without keeping anyone shackled to her. That’s as good of an ending as I could’ve anticipated for her. I’ll be honest: I still feel like she got off a little easy. She should’ve faced some legal consequences, at least. But I don’t dislike her like I used to. She’s definitely come around and I’ve partially forgiven her. 

I’ll talk more about my feelings about Akito and everything once I’ve finished, but that’s where I am right now. 

CH 133

AHHH KYORU. THEY’RE OFFICIAL! 

loool who is Mayu talking about? 

OH Yuki and the others know about Akito being a female now? Nice!

“I can’t believe I was so violent... to a girl.” KYO. MY BOY. Omg what a sweetheart? Honey, she was violent to you, too. 

“The last thing I wanted was another guy interested in you.” LMFAOOOO 

YUKI’S DYING

“The mood between the two of them has become somewhat gentler than before.” Somewhat? Girl, they’re friends now, and I’m loving it. It’s so cute. 

“He beat the crap outta me.” YES LOL

“Kyo-kun smiles more than he used to. I’ve come to realize that this is his true self.” ;A;

oh my gosh THEY’RE SO CUTE.

How are they even cuter now that they’re dating?!

“Walking together, hand in hand, isn’t something that I’ll ever take for granted.” I’m cryinggggg. ;a; My babies. 

NOT TALK OF A KYORU BABY MY HEART CAN ONLY HANDLE SO MUCH.

AND GRANDPA KAZUMA!! HE’D DOTE ON THAT KID!

What’s wrong with my bby girl Isuzu? :(

“Not everyone... is in the same situation.” Ah, yeah... 

“How can you act like nothing ever happened? She did all kinds of nasty stuff to Kyo. And she hurt you a lot too. Those wounds will never disappear, will they?” I 1000% understand Rin here. I was waiting for this to be brought up!

Oh, Isuzu, my poor girl. 

This might change later on, but as of right now, I don’t fully forgive Akito, either. There’s just too much that she did to too many people. Like Rin, like Yuki, like Kyo. Even Hatori. I’m generally a forgiving person, but I have a hard time with abusive characters. Maybe it’s from my own past, being a survivor of abuse. Being around it and knowing how they are just impacts you differently, I guess. I don’t know if it’s right to say that maybe people who haven’t experienced abuse are able to forgive easier. 

I haven’t forgiven my abuser, and I never will. Do I still understand why they did it, why they are who they are, and do I still empathize? YES. I feel a lot for people. I feel a lot for Akito on a positive note, and I’m so proud of her progression. She’s a hurt woman who deserved better and who hurt people because she was in so much pain herself. She hasn’t been able to break free of her abuser or heal yet. She needs a safe space to do that, and she’s beginning to learn to be better and be a sweeter person. Tohru showed her that. 

But like Rin, I can’t fully forgive her. If Tohru hadn’t done what she did, hadn’t reached out to Akito, Akito never would’ve changed. She would’ve continued to be horrible and not feel regret for the things she’s done. I appreciate that she was trying to apologize, though. And there are things that I’ve forgiven her for. It’s the worst indiscretions that I can’t. How she treated Rin and Yuki, specifically. I know that she was projecting with Rin. But Rin was a child and an abuse victim herself. Out of all of them, Akito could’ve related to her. Akito knew. She used that instead to hurt Rin, and that is the one thing that I’ll never be okay with. 

“They’ll need time. A whole lot.” Yes. And even then, it may not be enough. Some scars run so fucking deep that even time doesn’t help. I’ve healed from my trauma. It doesn’t impact me anymore. I’ve learned how to cope and move on and now utilize those skills to help others. I think time will help, though, and it may allow others to forgive Akito later. 

Distance is the key here, I think. If they’re not around her, maybe forgiveness will come easier. 

Wow, Akito taking what she learned from Tohru and reaching out to the maid? We love to see it. 

[babyboibucky]

IM SO GREEDY I KNOW 😭😭😭😭😭 but i just thought of 🖋 with ""you deserve to be loved, without having to hide the parts of yourself that you think are unloveable" SKSKSKSKD THIS IS WHY YOU MIGHT WANNA CONSIDER UNFOLLOWING AND BLOCKING ME KKHFFJJGFKFKKFFD

Okay here it is lmao technically this is a roommates AU with Chubby!Bucky BECAUSE I KNOW YOU LOVE HIM 🥰

THIS GOT SUPER LONG WTF I’M SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY LMFAO

It was past midnight when Bucky found you sitting in the shared kitchen, alone and in the dark. He carefully approached you, not wanting to scare you with his presence.

“I thought you were out.” He said, pulling a stool and sitting across from you.

You looked up and forced a smile, “Should ask you the same thing. I thought you went out with Sam and Sharon.” You responded.

Bucky shrugged, fiddling with the pack of gummy bears on top of the table. “You know clubs aren’t my thing. Besides, it’s a chance to get some peace and quiet in here. You know how they are when they’re here.” Bucky said, hoping to get a genuine chuckle from you.

Unfortunately, his quip didn’t seem to work seeing that you only responded with a small smile. He’d never seen you like this, so down and quiet. You were always bubbly and loud, spitting jokes and just...happy. He knew you were supposed to be out with a guy you’ve been exclusively dating, so in a way, he assumed that something must have happened.

“Gummy bear for your thoughts?” Bucky asked, taking one red gummy bear— your favorite— from the pack.

This time, you managed to let out a genuine laugh. You looked at Bucky and smiled at him, taking the gummy bear from his palm and then popping it into your mouth. It took you a few seconds to speak up and Bucky patiently waited, he didn’t even force you to say anything.

“Is there something wrong with me?” You blurted out.

Bucky frowned, “Why would you even ask that?”

You shrugged, “John dumped me...for his ex. It’s just that none of my relationships seem to last because of me.”

“Woah now, I don’t think none of it is your fault. John is a douche, it’s his loss not yours. Good riddance, in fact. Never liked him.”

Bucky froze when he realized how much he had to say about John. Truth was, Bucky admired you...he liked you so it was beyond him why the guys you dated would even dump you.

Letting out a sigh, you shrugged again. “I feel like I’m not enough, you know? I mean...ugh, I’m sorry I’m being dramatic here. But you bribed me with a gummy bear so now you have to sit through this shit I’m about to say.” You laughed.

Bucky slid over the entire pack of gummy bears over to you, “If that’s the case then this is all yours. I’ve got all night to listen.”

You blushed at Bucky’s statement and had to compose yourself before letting it all out. You’ve always been confident but ever since you noticed a certain pattern in your dating history, you couldn’t help but question yourself. It’s either the guys you dated would dump you for a new girl or go back to their exes.

Bucky listened to you intently and never even interrupted you. He just sat there, acknowledging you and your emotional outburst.

“John said he wasn’t ready for a commitment, that’s why we decided to casually date for the mean time. And then this afternoon he just said that he wanted to end shit because his ex came back, trying to fix their fucking relationship. I mean, am I not worth committing to? Am I just not...worth lov—“

“Don’t even say it.” Bucky warned, leaning forward on the table.

“You’re beautiful and smart. On top of that, you’re hella funny! Those guys are just blind not to appreciate what they have in front of them. You’re absolutely perfect just the way you are, I know it sounds cheesy as fuck but I’m telling the truth.”

You pursed your lips because it was the first time that someone told you something that you truly felt was sincere. Genuine. You could feel the tears coming and as much as you hated crying, you weren’t able to hold back the tear that slipped.

“Don’t even dare compare yourself to anyone. You’re just...you. And that’s what makes you so easy to love. Fuck John and those other guys who didn’t see that. I know I do.” Bucky said, reaching out to wipe away your tears with his thumb.

You sniffed, “What do you mean...you do?” You asked.

It was Bucky’s turn to blush at his sudden confession. “I uh...might have been...in love with you...?”

You made a face, “Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked.

Bucky rolled his eyes before standing up, “I mean...look at this.” He said, motioning over to his body, his shirt clinging tightly over his pudgy stomach.

“I’m not that attractive. I felt like someone like you deserves someone better.” He admitted and sat back down.

“I can’t believe you’re saying that after the speech you just gave me, Bucky.” You explained.

“You’re a good guy, Buck. The kindest I know. And you’re cute and you know me better than myself. We’ve been living under the same roof for what, almost five years now? And you always took care of me. Don’t think I never noticed, I always did.” You confessed.

And then it hit you like a big yellow school bus. You’ve been trying to better yourself for the other guys you’ve dated. And by better, it meant changing yourself. Not entirely, but still. Some of your habits or mannerisms, sometimes they made others uncomfortable. The way you’d laugh out loud, you often try hard not to do so, afraid that it might turn off your date.

All this time, you’ve been the realest with Bucky. And he accepted you, all of you without exceptions. In fact, Bucky felt the same way with you. He never felt embarrassed about himself whenever the both of you hung out together. You lifted him up, always gave him compliments and even helped him out pick his clothes.

“I might have realized something.” You said

“And that is?” Bucky asked curiously.

“Maybe we deserve each other.” You softly said and the smile that Bucky gave you felt like the beginning of something.

Bucky nodded, “Maybe we do. Should we...you know...try this thing?” He asked, taking your hand in his to play with your fingers.

You laced your fingers with him, “I’d love to.” You said.

“But I think we should buy a new pack of gummy bears for Sam first, he’s gonna kick our asses if he sees we finished everything up.”

[perriwinklesblog]

I really want Sally to be a character on this and not just a fish. I have made many posts about reasons she should be in it. Here’s another;

I’d want her to be a God. For my headcanon of Sally, her, Dream, and Philza are Gods. Technoblade is a demigod. 

This is a extremely long post because I got really carried away. 

LONG STORY SHORT. 

Sally and Dream used to be friends, he banished her which is why she abandoned her family. She then returns because she’s received letters about what's been happening, having heard enough about Dream’s tyranny and what he’s done to her family. 

Keep reading if you wanna see the long version. 

Sally and Dream go way back, they’ve known each other in other worlds, other generations. They’ve fought and started wars together but then things started to change when she came across Wilbur and found another God, not living above the humans/and various other species but among them. 

She fell in love with Wilbur and started to grow distant from the Godly games that her and Dream often played on the ‘mortals.’

Philza, the Angel of Death, the God who walks amongst the humans, knows the pain, the sorrow but the love and laughter. He shows her the worth of humanity.

Sally and Dream fight. To Dream they are above the mortals, they are the makers and destroyers of the world underneath them. They’re things to play with. He see’s the world as his dollhouse and the people in it, his toys. 

They come to an uneasy agreement, with Dream parting and going another way and Sally staying with Wilbur, never to contact each other again. 

Years pass and eventually Wilbur and co. settle in a new land, a new place and Sally sets eyes on a familiar face. The Green Eyed God’s smile falters as he looks at her and their family. Neither say anything as they make their way to the house Wilbur had constructed for them. 

The avoid each other. Sally acts a bit on edge but many think it’s just due to being nervous for the baby’s arrival. She always has an eye on Dream. He’s different from the last time she saw him. She can’t help but think he’s learnt what she has as she spars with mortals, laughing with them, building with them. The smile seems genuine but there’s a glint in his eyes, there’s a darkness the falls across them when his friends turn around. 

She has her baby and she’s ecstatic, happy and busy. She doesn’t have time to keep an eye on the God as she fusses over the new child. Soon the house is even fuller as Wilbur, Philza and Technoblade return home with a new child. And then months later, they all come home with a box that has another child in it. She frowns at Philza who smiles happily as the three young children run around them. 

Then one day she’s out hunting by herself because sometimes she wants the thrill of the chase, sometimes she misses it. This is when the God finally approaches her. 

Since Wilbur appearance on what he considers his territory, Dream had grown weary of the man. He wasn’t like the others in his doll house, he questioned things, changed things and changed others minds. Then the children came and soon he found that with more and more people around, it was becoming hard to control it all. The main source of his problem was Wilbur. So he approaches Sally. 

They dance around the subject at first, but eventually end up in a heated argument. Sally realises that he hasn’t changed, just the game. He still believed he was above them, above the mortals. Dream sees her as weak. And in one way she was. Unlike Dream she didn’t flex her powers as much anymore, shifting only really to entertain the kids. Rarely using the cheats to life she was created with. This meant that when their argument grew into a fight, Dream dominated. 

Dream: I want you and your family gone.

Sally: This is our home. I will not force them to leave because of you.

Dream: Then I’ll kill them.

And he’s so nonchalant about it. So dismissive about something so important, so precious. 

Sally: Don’t you dare lay a hand on them. 

Dream: They don’t work here, and if you won’t move on then I’ll just... get rid of them. 

Sally: You can’t just do that-

Dream: Except I can. We can. We used to do it all the time. 

Sally: We were wrong. 

Dream: No. We were right. There was a lot more control when we held the reins. When we made the decisions. 

Sally: Fuck you. I will make sure you-

Dream: Are you forgetting who has the upper hand here? You aren’t even a fraction of what you used to be. So pathetic, weak. And don’t even think your family could do any better against me. I’d crush them like a bug. 

And he’s right. Sally could see the flames in his eyes. Where her and her family stood right now, even with two gods and a demigod, they didn’t stand a chance against someone who had spent years honing his craft. 

Sally: Please. Please don’t hurt them.

Dream: I can’t hear you. 

Sally: Please, Dream. Let them stay, let them live. Don’t hurt them. I will do anything to let them stay here. They’re so happy. 

Dream: Leave.

Sally: Dream pl-

Dream: They can stay if you leave. If you love your precious humans and family so much, leave. I will make a deal with you. I will leave them alone as much as I possibly can, if you leave. 

Sally: Leave... them? 

Dream: Now. Just don’t go home and leave them. 

Sally: Now?

Dream: I could kill them? 

Sally: Fine. Fine. I won’t return here if you leave them alone. 

Dream: Deal.

They shake hands and Sally finds herself forced from the land, screaming through the air, through time, through dimensions. Eventually she lands in some water. On the beach, theres some people staring gobsmacked at the person who just fell from the sky. This is a new world and rudimentary. She makes her way onto the beach and cries as people crowd her. 

Years pass. Wilbur slowly stopped hoping for Sally to return, never understanding why she went out one day and never returned. Stopped, mentioning her to the children. Eventually they stopped asking. They all moved on. 

Then one day, Dream is surveying the crater where L’Manburg used to be, smiling. Next to him is George and Sapnap. They’re talking about something when he’s suddenly forced out the world. George and Sapnap are confused and go looking for him. At the very same time, someone pops into existence next to a prison, on a beach. Sally looks up, eyes wide before looking for someone to talk to. She’s different, holds herself different. She comes across Sam. There Sam agree’s to take her to L’Manburg confused why this stranger would want to see that. When they get there she breaks a little, a tear rolling down her face but her face soon hardens when she hears who did it. She turns to Sam and asks him to take her to them. He doesn’t know where they live so she settles for the next person she can think of: 

Ranboo. 

Ranboo came from her world. They’d found a way for him to travel from Sally’s world into Dreams and a way for him to send her notes and letters on the things that are happening. But then the letters stopped. Sally knew of Ranboo’s memory issues so assumed he lost the book and therefore, forgot he needed to send letters back. The last letters she received were of Tommy’s exile and she knew then that Dream had broken his end of the agreement which meant she could break hers. He hadn’t left her family alone. But she wanted to give herself time before Dream confronted her so she managed to pull him out of his world and replace herself, if only for a few hours. 

Eventually she finds Ranboo, and seeing Sally triggers his memory and they catch up. She demands to see Philza and Technoblade. Once she’s there, Philza and her argue about some things but Technoblade is a little bit warmer to her. You see whenever they had to participate in wars, Sally and Technoblade did have a lovely time together. Sally had an appreciation for humans, doesn’t mean she still didn’t love a bit of chaos, Dream just took it too far. 

Eventually Sally during the confrontation is forcefully teleported to Dream who has managed to make his way back onto his world. He’s furious. They both argue. People gather because who is this new person and why is Dream yelling at them with such fury. Ghostbur/Alivebur (whatever he ends up being) see’s Sally and is immediately like wtf which triggers Fundy to be like MUM!?!? 

Dream’s all like nope, I’m going to send you away again and Sally’s like not this time bitch.

Sally: You broke the agreement. 

Dream: I think you’ll find, you did. 

Sally: Don’t try and turn this on me. You didn’t leave them alone. You’ve tortured my family enough!

Dream: What are you, a weak god like yourself, going to do about it? 

Sally: How many lives do you have Dream? 

Dream: What?

Sally: How many lives?

Dream: Three. 

Sally: Wrong. 

Shoots him with an arrow, killing him. 

Sally: You have two. 

And then as chaos erupts she drags her family and any allies away into the wilderness. 

From there they regroup and gather resources, she secretly hires Sam as a builder for them and pays him for secrets to the prison. They all work through issues, though some they struggle to iron out but agree to work together for a common cause. 

And then etc. This post is obscenely long. I’ll end the idea there. You get the gist. 

Sally would be a great addition. 

[skiller0dani]

Abandon Ship | Monty De La Cruz

M A S T E R L I S T Timothy Granaderos Masterlist

smut requests info

important notice:  13 reasons why covers some really heavy stuff and their material can be extremely triggering. seeing as my writing is supposed to be for fun only I won’t be including many of the topics seen in the show. in fact, unless I say otherwise most of all my writings for this show will take place before Hannah Bakers suicide. if you or a loved one ever needs to seek professional help please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. 

also: MONTY DESERVED BETTER AND HE WAS A VICTIM AS WELL YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. mkay that’s all. enjoy, my loves xx

why are all the men named timothy hot as hell??? first timothee chalamet and now timothy granaderos?? wtf???

You doubt Monty knew you were Alex’s twin sister. At least you hoped he didn’t, because if he did and continued to beat Alex to a pulp then that would show how much you actually matter to him. You held a bandage in your hand, carefully dabbing at Alex’s eye which was split open. “Don’t tell Dad.” You nearly laughed at how ludicrous his request was. Alex looked as though he’d gone 4 rounds with a boxer, there was no way Dad wasn’t going to notice. “I can’t cover this with makeup Al, Dad is going to notice.” You tell him and you see the subtle eye roll and the oncoming lecture he knew he would receive. His eye was swollen shut, and there were cuts and bruises all over his face. “So what did you say to piss Monty off?” You ask, you know your boyfriend pretty well. He’d been trying to get a handle on his anger management issues and normally he could keep it together...unless provoked. In no way was what Monty did to Alex justifiable, but you knew Alex could get fired up and he says shit without thinking. “Nothing, it doesn’t matter. Doesn’t change the fact that your boyfriend is a psychopath.” Alex says with a heavy sigh as he shoves past you out of the bathroom. 

“Like how do you know he won’t turn that anger on you someday?” Alex says, both anger and concern deep in his eyes as he watches you. You begin to clean up the bandages and bloody rags, “Monty would never hurt me. He loves me.” You argue gently, you trust Monty with your life. Alex scoffs and you can tell he’s still stood behind you. “So he says. I don’t know how you trust him at all.” With that last grumble Alex retreats back to his bedroom, leaving you to finish cleaning the bathroom. When your Dad gets home, you know he’s going to ask where Alex is. Although it’s not unusual for Alex to hide away in his room these days, he’s getting...angrier than he used to be. You heard the kids at Liberty High whispering about what happened, Alex picked a fight with Monty. Alex approached him first, Alex egged him on. Alex knows about Monty’s explosive temper so why on Earth would he do that? 

“Hey honey, where’s your brother?” Your Dad smiles as he presses a kiss to your head. You return his hug as he wraps his arms around you, “room.” You tell him simply and when he releases you to head for Alex’s room you wait for the yelling to start. After the door opens, it does’t take long for the bomb to go off and soon they’re screaming at each other. Your Dad is obviously very upset that someone nearly beat Alex half to death, but you get upset after Alex opens his mouth and a barrage of words spill out. “It’s only because of Y/N’s freak boyfriend! He’s a fucking lunatic, he’s the one who did this to me! How could you let her date someone like that?” As soon as the words leave his lips he sees the shift in Deputy Standall. Your eyes widen, first of all your Dad didn’t even know you were dating anybody. Second of all, this is his very first impression of Monty. “Alex you are such an asshole!” You yell as you slam your bedroom door before propping your office chair against it to keep it closed. 

The next morning you emerged from your room only when Monty texted that he was out front. This is the first time Monty has picked you up from your house but you figured it was time he knew who your family was. Your Dad was of course waiting for you by the front door with a look of both concern and anger on his face. “Y/N why didn’t you tell me and your Mom you were seeing anybody? I don’t want you to see him again, look what he did to your brother.” Your Dad said sternly but you shook your head forcefully as you pulled your shoes on. “Well I’m pretty sure Alex left out the part where he egged Monty on. Alex started the fight Dad. That fight was both of their faults. I don’t want to be late for school.” You snapped as you shoved past your Dad and out to Monty’s car. Offering a smile, Monty noticed right away that something was off with you. You slid into the passenger seat as Monty leaned over to press a sweet kiss to your lips. “What’s up with you baby?” He asks, genuine concern in his eyes. He looked up and spotted Deputy Standall standing in the doorway and his eyes widened. 

“Woah shit, is that your Dad?” Monty asks as he pulls off down the street. You’re silent in the passenger seat, your arms crossed. Your silent treatment and tense body language is starting to freak Monty out as he fidgets with a seam on his jeans. “Baby did I do something?” He asks, his panicked eyes glancing over at you. You smiled bitterly as you turn your head to look at him, “yeah Monty you did. You beat my twin brother to a pulp yesterday.” You snap and Monty looks confused for a second before a look of understanding dawns on his face. “Alex is your brother? Ah shit baby, I’m sorry I didn’t know.” Monty says with a sigh as he pulls into his usual parking spot at the school. You stay silent, but honestly you feel a bit relieved that he didn’t know. Monty turns to you and takes your hand, “I’m sorry Y/N. Is uh is he okay?” Monty asks but from the tension seeping into his voice you can tell he really doesn’t care if Alex is okay or not. You exit the car, with Monty not too far behind you as he slings your bag over his shoulder. Just like he does every morning. 

“What was the fight about?” You ask, remembering how Alex completely avoided the question when you tried to ask him. Monty looks uncomfortable as his hand slides into yours, your eyebrows pinch together. “Monty.” Your voice is angrier then you intended but you were angry. Why wont either of them tell you what’s going on? You pulled your hand from Monty’s and snatched your bag from his shoulder. “I have to go meet with Jess.” You snap angrily as you stomp down the hallway, leaving a very dejected Monty behind. You spent most of the rest of the day avoiding Monty and Alex, having had enough of both of them. Monty leaned back against the lockers, his eyes on you as you stood and chatted with Clay. “Yeah I saw the fight from yesterday, Monty went kind of crazy.” Clay commented, and you sighed while pinching the bridge of your nose. You had been really good friends with Clay since 6th grade and you can honestly say he’s one of your closest friends. “Neither of them will tell me what happened either. It’s pissing me off.” You grumble, catching Monty’s agitated gaze. Clay shut his locker and turned to face you, “I think I heard one of them say your name but I’m not sure. Anyway I should go, Monty looks like he wants to kill me.” Clay says, his eyes also meeting Monty’s before he turns and heads down the hall. 

You roll your eyes at Monty and you turn to follow the path Clay took when you feel a hand wrap around your arm. You’re not at all surprised to see Monty forcefully, but gently, dragging you to a supply closet. When he shuts the door behind you two, you can practically feel the frustration coming from him. “The fuck Y/N! I said I was sorry about Alex I don’t know what else you want from me.” Monty snapped, crossing his arms as you glare up at him. “And seriously, Jensen? You avoid me all day and I see you hanging out with fucking Clay Jensen.” Monty snaps, and while most people would see anger you can see a flicker of insecurity flash behind his eyes. “Monty what I want is the truth. What happened with Alex? You know Clay is my friend Mon, he doesn’t mean anything to me.” You tell him gently, your anger melting away when you see how big of an issue this is for him. “You wanna know what happened with Alex? Fine! What happened was that he reminded me how bad I am for you, how fucking badly I’m going to fuck up your life.” Monty snapped, nothing but fear and self-hatred pooling in his eyes. 

“He reminded me how I’m just some stupid prick from the wrong part of town with a drunk Dad who beats on me for fun. He reminded me how I have no idea how to love people or how to let them love me. My life has been in a downward spiral from the moment I was born, my life is a sinking ship Y/N and if you knew any better you’d find a fucking lifeboat and abandon ship.” By the time Monty was finished there were unshed tears in his eyes and he refused to look at you. His chest is heaving and you can tell what Alex said really got to him. You take a step forward and reach up to cup his cheeks before you’re forcing him to meet your gaze. “I love you Montgomery. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” You whisper but Monty pulls away, his eyes sad and his body language tense. “No I’m not. I nearly beat your brother half to death yesterday because he had the balls to tell me the truth. We can’t be together, you’re too good for me. You deserve to be with someone like Clay.” Monty says, turning for the door. 

Your heart is broken even though you know he didn’t mean it. Your heart is fucking broken even though you know his is too. You lay back on your bed, the tears still fresh and rolling down your cheeks. Monty broke up with you today. He thinks he’s saving you, but he’s hurting you. Alex knocks on the door before pushing it open, guilt weighing heavily in his chest when he sees the tears. “Well what you said must have resonated with Monty because you got what you wanted. He broke up with me because you’ve convinced him he’s going to ruin my life.” You said, your voice weak from the crying. Alex stayed silent as he pushed his hands into his jean pockets. “I didn’t want this, I just wanted you to be safe.” Alex says sadly but you laugh bitterly as you roll to your right side. “Don’t worry Alex, my body is safe but my heart has been fucking shattered now get the hell out.” You snap as sobs begin to choke through your chest again. Alex leaves and closes the door behind him, leaving you alone with your quiet crying. 

School the next day was awkward. And painful. You’d arrived with Alex, but as soon as you crossed the threshold into the school you bolted to find Clay. You couldn’t be around Monty or Alex right now. You could see Monty out of the corner of your eye in his usual place against the lockers with the football guys. You felt tears thickening in your eyes as you turned towards Clay, who had been gracious enough to endure a 3 hour phone call last night about the breakup. He’d listened to you cry and he comforted you and promised he’d walk everywhere with you today. Monty spotted the bags under your swollen eyes, he felt guilt upon the realization you must have spent most of the night crying. In the long run this is better for you though, you’ll get over Monty and find someone who could treat you better. Or at least that’s what Monty repeatedly told himself to stop from caving and begging for your forgiveness. You had your back to Monty and firmly on Clay- who had been babbling on about some robot comic he reads. You’d asked him to talk about literally anything to keep your mind off Monty. 

Alex sat on the bleachers, his elbows resting on his knees. He didn’t only see how messed up you were, he also saw how messed up Monty was. He was stalking through the halls like a ticking time bomb, as though he’s waiting for someone to give him a reason to hit them. Alex knew he messed up, and he also knew he needed to be the one to fix it. He pushes from the table and after checking the clock he figures Monty will probably be out back, it’s his off hour. When Alex pushes through the schools back doors he sees Monty send his fist into some kids face, “you wanna say that about my girl again?” His voice was tense and his fist was holding the kids shirt tightly. The kid, who apparently said something about Y/N, quickly shook his head while reaching up to pinch his bleeding nose. Monty released the kid, watching him scramble inside and his eyes land on Alex. “Y/N send you?” Monty asks, looking down at his bruised and bloody knuckles. Alex shook his head as he took a few steps towards Monty, “no but I am here because of her.” 

Monty reached into his backpack to pull out a rag, which already had bloodstains on it to wipe his knuckles. “I think breaking up with her was a mistake. She’s like really sad.” Alex says, itching the back of his neck as Monty pauses for a second before continuing to wipe his hand. “That’s funny coming from you. Nice face by the way.” Monty says, a snide smiling crossing onto his face. When he’s in pain he deflects and lashes out. “I know. Look I’m sorry about what I said yesterday, I know you have a crappy home life but I guess I didn’t realize how happy you make Y/N. Even though you’re an asshole to everyone else, you’re really good to her. Don’t punch me for saying this but I think she’s changing you, you’re way less of an asshole then you were 6 months ago.” Alex said and Monty turned to look at him, an unreadable expression on his face. “I might have been right about a few things but definitely not about everything. I was wrong when I said Y/N would be happier without you, because I’ve never seen her so sad. She was up all night crying on the phone with Clay.” Monty’s eyebrows rise at the mention of Clay. 

“I mean you can do what you want but I genuinely think the best thing for Y/N is you. So, yeah.” Alex says, clearing his throat awkwardly before turning back inside the school. “Also she’s been with Clay all day. Last I heard they were getting pretty friendly in the Library.” Alex quips before the door closes. That’s a lie of course, while it is true you’re in the Library with Clay you two are in no way getting ‘friendly’. The comment is enough however to set Monty off, so he yanks open the door and storms for the Library. When Monty nearly barrels into the Library he sees you and Clay looking for a book near the back, but you’re not really near each other. Just talking. “Fuckin’ Alex.” Monty grumbles and as Monty turns to leave he hears his name come from your angelic lips. “I haven’t heard from Monty yet. He hasn’t even glanced in my direction.” You say to Clay sadly. Clay reaches up to grab a book from a higher shelf that you were struggling to reach, “well if he’s not a complete retard he’ll come around. I don’t know Monty very well but I know he cares about you.” Clay reassures and while you smile you’re not sure you believe him. 

As you and Clay keep searching for books, you feel a large, familiar hand wrap around your arm. “Can we talk?” Monty asks, his eyes boring into yours. Clay continues down the isles of books, a small smile on his face. You nod hesitantly as you pull Monty to a back corner of the Library. Monty awkwardly itches the back of his neck as you wait for him to say something. Desperately trying to form the right words in his head Monty rolls his eyes as he cups your cheeks. He’s always been more of an action guy than a word guy. He desperately presses his lips against yours, his hands pulling you impossibly close to his body. You melt into him as your arms wrap around his neck. “I love you.” Monty whispers against your lips, his hands sliding down to rest on your hips. There is nobody in this secluded area of the Library and soon the kisses grow more frantic, as Monty reaches for your ass to haul you up. You wrap your legs around his waist as he rests you on a table, his lips fervently moving against yours. Monty’s hands press flat against the table on either side of your legs. He grinds his hardening cock into you, causing a breathless gasp to escape your lips. 

“Monty we can’t, not here.” You whisper through the kisses as Monty’s fingers begin to dance up your thighs. Your head falls back as Monty’s lips trail down your neck to your shoulder, “sure we can baby. You just gotta be quiet for me.” Monty whispers into your skin as his hands make contact with your core through your jeans. You bite your lip to prevent a moan from slipping out, you grind your hips into his hand in an attempt to get more friction. “Think you can keep those pretty sounds you make nice and quiet so I can fuck you right here?” Monty asks, his hand rubbing tortuously slow. You bite down hard on your lip as your fingers grab tightly onto Monty’s shoulders. “God Monty,” You moan softly into his ear as his knee presses between your legs to part them. His lips work magic on your neck as he sucks and bites all the right places, “please tell me this is makeup sex.” You whisper as your fingers gasp onto the short hairs on his head. 

“Baby this is ‘I never should have let you go’ sex.” Monty whispered, his fingers gently popping the button of your jeans open. Monty quickly glances over his shoulder, and when he sees nobody in sight he pulls your jeans down to your calves. “I love you,” Monty whispers, his eyes looking into yours as his hand dips under the waistband of your panties. Your fingers gently rub along his neck as his fingers dip into your wet opening, “fuck I love you Monty.” You nearly cry out as he begins to slowly pump 2 fingers into you. Monty’s forehead is nearly pressed against yours as his hand comes up to clasp over your mouth. His pupils dilate as he lustfully watches your eyes roll back in your head when he crooks his fingers inside you. Your fingers curl around his wrist to ensure he keeps pumping his fingers into you but much to your dismay Monty pulls his hand away when he notices your thighs beginning to shake. Reattaching his lips to yours Monty lets you reach for the button of his jeans.  

You desperately fumble with the button of his jeans before you finally pop them open and yank the zipper down. “Condom?” You whisper against his lips and Monty nods quickly while digging into the pocket of his jeans. He always has one with him just in case the two of you can’t wait until school is over. Like now. After Monty has rolled the condom down onto his hard cock he presses the head against your entrance. “Now baby I need you to be nice and quiet or we’re going to get in a lot of trouble mkay?” Monty breathes softly against your lips and you nod as your arms pulls his body closer to yours. Monty wraps one arm around your body as the other reaches down to help guide his cock into your tight opening. “Shit Y/N.” Monty hisses quietly as he stretches you open, inch by inch. Your mouth hangs open as a quiet gasp escapes your mouth at the feeling of Monty sliding inside you. Monty begins to slowly but forcefully thrust into you, his hand coming up to cover your mouth when a tiny moan escapes. You’re softly crying out against his palm as he pushes into you over and over again. “Christ baby you feel so good around me.” Monty huskily whispers into your neck as you hold his hand over your lips. You’d cry out in ecstasy if his hand wasn’t there. 

Monty’s other hand reaches down to thumb at your clit, “need you to cum around my cock baby. Fuck I need to feel you cum around me, need to know I’m making you feel good.” Monty breathes, his face still nuzzled into your neck. You feel the heat spreading through your body like liquid fire as you keep your knees spread wide open for him, your chest heaving against his. Your hips begin to buck against his and with one more sharp, forceful thrust into you Monty slams the head of his cock directly into your g-spot and you cum instantaneously. You clench hard around him as you cum on his cock and Monty groans softly as he also cums into the condom as you cum. Monty presses a long kiss to your sweaty forehead before he pulls out and tosses the condom into a large trashcan sitting nearby. Monty tucks his cock back into his jeans as he pulls your jeans back up your legs. After Monty buttons your jeans again he looks up into your eyes, “baby I’m sorry. What Alex said just really got to me because he said literally everything I have ever worried about, out loud, straight to my face. I’m really good at pretending to be confident but I can’t act around you. You always see right through me, and I got scared. So I ran. If Alex didn’t come and tell me to get off my ass and fix this I don’t know if I would have and that scares me more.”  

“Wait Alex came and talk to you today?” You ask and Monty nods, his hands resting on your hips as you stay seated on the table. “He told me to fix this, and well I’m glad he did.” Monty smiled, a loving look crossing onto his face as he studies your eyes. “I’m not about to be a presumptuous asshole and assume you’ll take me back because you let me fuck you so, Y/N baby will you please take me back?” Monty asks and you can see that flicker of fear in his eyes that you’ll say no. You press your lips against his again, nearly taking him by surprise as he stumbles back a step when you completely throw yourself into his arms. “I love you and you’re stuck with me.” You smile and Monty smiles widely, pressing his forehead against yours. “I love you-” “God ew I’m happy you two are back together but seriously ew.” A voice sounds from behind you. You step back onto the floor as you turn to see Alex with a grimace on his face. “Will you two just hurry up? There’s a fight out back and for once Monty isn’t involved.” Alex says with a roll of his eyes as he watches Monty smack your ass. You lace your fingers with Monty’s as you two follow Alex out of the Library. 

[dafukdidiwatch]

FoodFight (2012)

The origin story of Sausage Party and The Emoji Movie

I honestly don’t really know where to start with this film. Like I’ve heard of it, I’ve seen reviews of it, I was so sure I wouldn’t ever see this trainwreck because it looked and sounded so bad.

But honestly? This was an amazing film to watch. I don’t even know where to begin because I genuinely enjoyed this movie. This was a fun shitty trainwreck of a movie.

Let’s start with the obvious: The animation sucks. Like the designs are bad, the world building is bad, the animation is bad. Body movement? What body movement? The only body movement we need is arm waving and twirling and nothing else. And those are for characters they were trying for. The Humans, if there are any, are the literal worse with either being amusement park mascots at best or mountain troll monsters at worse. Yeesh they were bad to look at. In fact, a lot of characters in this movie are just, very ugly all the way around.

Celebrities: I feel so sorry for these people. Apparently it took 12 years to make this (like, wtf first off), so a lot of the “big names” they got in the day sort of faded away out of the public light. Not that I actually give a shit about it they got paid either way. I just think out of all of them, Wayne Brady was done dirty. He didn’t deserve to be in this movie, he deserves better than having his name listed in FoodFight. Tim Curry is a riot no matter where he goes, still bringing in his Dr. Frank-n-furter Vibes all the way around. And Christopher Lloyd wasn’t in for long, but by god does he leave an impression. A terrifying impression.

Why are actual food brands in this movie? Ms. Butterworth, what are you doing in here? Charlie Tuna, The Pickle Stork, Mr. Clean? I can’t tell if they did them dirty or not because they are barely in the movie anyway. The most screen-time of them went to Mr. Clean just for the bald clean jokes. It’s like playing Where’s Waldo in finding out where the notable brand icons are.

It’s also fun to play “Who the Fuck is that guy?” because there are a lot of brands being parodied here. Captain Crunch turned into Shitty Admiral Chip Peg. Chocola is a disco gay vampire bat. Some weird disturbing french cheese men....no idea who he is for but hey! That’s what the game is for! Trying to see what their ugly abominations were supposed to be in the light of day.

The only “decent” animated characters are the main one: Dex Dog-tective who speaks nothing but puns, every sentence. All the time. You want to start a counter on all the food puns he makes, but you also don’t because I’m sure it’s in the Hundreds. It also doesn’t help that he is like...furry bait? That’s the best way to describe him since he is like the Better animated characters they tried to make him handsome so...furry bait. Then we have Sunshine Goodness who is a terrifying uncanny valley creature which is just an anime catgirl that the animators decide to give up half way and hope her dead eyes give out the allure she has. But uh oh, watch out Sunshine, Lady X of Brand Ex is coming in with her twig-ass Dominatrix Barbie outfit trying to seduce your man...a talking golden retriever. Her dead glass eyes have its sights on seduction and world domination one fetish at a time.

I’m not kidding about the fetishes either, this movie is just throbbing with sexual tension. In the worst way. Like you think the food puns are a lot? Well the sex innuendos are giving them a run for their money. There is so many sex jokes. So many tension of the “oh the bad guy good guy flirt? Hwot” This is supposed to be a kids film and yet you are having jokes of raisins = nipples, chocolate = dicks, "I'll have you roll over and begging for mercy" is too sexually charged for this movie like.....AHHHHH. I fear for the children who learn their kinks through this movie. And that’s just the verbal! The visual is sexy dominatrix. Sexy plaid school girl. Sexy villain nazi-stand-in dominatrix. Sexy Tango. Sexy...sniffing?? God they were trying So so so hard and it pissed me off to no end: 50% in-credulousness because who the hell thought this was a good idea to have kids watching this, 50% anger because I’m somewhat pissed that some unfortunate lines had the gall to be actually good for romantic tension....if it WASN’T TIED TO A BAD FETISH FILM! Like, you can have sexual chemistry, but when sky planes fly out of someone’s vagina you know it’s a fetish film.

But hey, enough stalling, let’s actually talk about the plot of this movie.

It’s Casablanca.

Like dead ass Casablanca.

After losing the love of his life a grizzled detective man ends up running a club where he has to face off against nazis. This is deadass Casablanca where Rick had a dark romantic fling with a nazi at a grocery market. The decisions they went with like the bad rendition of the French National Anthem to be food themed that I could barely hear. Brand X having a nazi-like salute if someone misspelled YMCA with one letter. The...actual weird torture murder scenes? This movie was wild enough, you didn’t need to add in death to the mix. They even had the side characters from Casablanca being in here like the Moose guy being the piano player, and the weasel looking dude being the....weird ass dick weasel in this movie.

And now, some random lines that I liked:

"I just want to be loved"

"Whats the point if having luxurious hair if you can't look yourself in the mirror"

"Oh Yeah, sure, no prob, except I don't have a death wish"

"But you were recalled?! And butt ugly!?"

Overall: I honestly swear to god believe this could and should be the next Rocky Horror Picture Show. This is that level of just...badshit craziness where everything is wrong and beautiful that we can laugh at it all. This needs to have like, it’s own riff track, audience participation, SOMETHING because there is too many golden moments to let it fly by.

If you can get your friends and tell them NOTHING about this movie and see their reactions. Because that is what I’M going to do with mine.

[dawniebb]

Face reveal bc yes

So, guys...especially from the Renegades fandom bc i’m the most active there: you saw the title lmao. This will...barely get notes (i wonder if it’ll get notes at all) buuUUUT YEAH LET’S GOOOO (If you’re gonna reblog pls be respectful bc i have issues and btw reblog ONLY if we are mutuals)

THIS IS ME! <3 HELLOOOO!!!

Now, if you want to stop here, do it. If you don’t...well

I’m going to tell you a story about myself and why I decided to post this.

First of all, I’m not celebrating anything. I’m just celebrating me, I guess (?) and in fact I’ve been wanting to do this since my parents got me a She-Ra cake for my 20th birthday back in May, because I loved that thing and felt the physical need to shove that thing into everyone’s faces But I didn’t because I didn’t feel ready enough...then that thought left my mind, and it came back like two weeks ago.

I’ve had mental issues since I was in like...elementary school. I’m sure I had felt depressed before I turned 12; however, the first memory I hold of feeling so, it’s when I was already 12. Because it was then when I realized that I wasn’t just a dumb kid who didn’t know how to make friends xd To this day, I genuinely feel like I was suffering from isolation bullying; you know xd my classmates purposely excluded me from activities, they would find any excuse for not letting me join their work teams and stuff like that; during my last year at elementary school, I only had like one friend, and that one friend and I shared a sort of abusive/toxic relationship, as in: manipulation, “we’re best friends. you should only talk to ME”, and then this friend turned her back at me too, because she decided to join the rest of the group and ignore me.

lol.

And I remember wondering what was I doing wrong. Like, why didn’t people like me; why didn’t they want to hang out with me; why did everyone seem to have friends except me. And then I got trapped into a very...dark place, and I remember being overthinking one day, because I tend to overthink a lot...and I remembered this specific kid who was in the same class as me.

I was in the line for the teacher to check my homework, and this kid, a boy, was behind me.

You see. I’ve always been chubby xd I don’t think I’ve ever been skinny since I was 2 years old or so, because by the time I was in kindergarten my classmates’ moms were already calling me a ‘little meatball’ thinking it was a fucking adorable nickname because Mexican moms can be pretty shitty sometimes don’t let the media stereotypes fool you not all of them are all cheerful and upbeat and when I was in elementary school, for some reason, besides being chubby, I had a really bad posture. And this boy who was behind me started imitating my way of walking and his friends were laughing, so I turned around and asked him wtf his problem was xd and he turned around to his friends and asked “Do you see how hunchback she is?” like I wasn’t even there xd and I genuinely tried to slap him but I couldn’t, and he said “Yo, stop moving because you’re going to cause an earthquake”

And my mom has always felt personally attacked for the fact I’m...u know, fat. She has always been very insistent on the fact I need to lose weight and stuff like that. And her, mixed with my experiences at school, made me feel like I wasn’t enough.

But my mind started saying things like “And u know why you aren’t enough? Because you’re fat”

Because, like, the day of the hunchback insult, when I told the teacher, who was a very shitty teacher btw but i’m not talking about her again today (i’ve already talked about her in MANY of my university papers, because I’m studying to be an English teacher), she turned around at him and said “Don’t listen to HER” and to this day I still don’t know why xd

But it made me feel like I wasn’t enough. Because I was fat.

Lol x2.

To this day, I still don’t know if I have an ED. Like, I genuinely don’t know. But I can safely say that, if I have one, it’s more likely BED... because, through the years, I managed to lose weight when I turned like 15 and I had my quinceañera party, but then first year of high school came and I had a relapse into depression...like, this might come off as a very unpopular opinion, but junior high school was dope for me x’d I remember it as one of the best years in my life, right after my second and third year in high school (high school in Mexico lasts only three years) and so...when I started my first year in high school and got fucking depressed again, I gained ALL that weight back, and even doubled it. During my second year of high school, I met my friends. The friends I still keep with me to this day. And they accepted me like the fucking train wreck I was, failing math like three times in a row and crying about it every single one of those times  because I’m pretty sure I have dyscalculia but my parents won’t listen to me they think i’m just lazy when it comes to math even though they know i cant even read a fucking clock . And them, along with my another very close friend who I met via fanfction when I was 12, helped me go through it. Like, I did have some issues with my body during high school, but not as much as you would expect. They were getting pretty bad in my first and second semester, but during the other four my friends managed to stop me from losing my mind, even when it all went to shit in my third year again for different reasons.

Then I graduated from high school, and I made friends there too. Although my best friends are still my friend from fanfiction, my friends from high school and just one of my university friends. And you know...I was left...pretty scarred from the shit that happened during third year of high school, and even if I didn’t feel like I was *that* depressed, I did gain a lot of weight.

Like, the highest I’ve ever been. Then my dad got sick during October from last year, then my two doggies were murdered god i fucking hate my neighbors the same day my dad was released from the hospital and my mom went kinda nuts during December and I wanted to just...yeah.

So I did a lot of emotional eating. Like, y’all don’t understand.

It was like...I would go to uni and eat a brownie. Then chocolates on my way home. THEN a “a snack” like...fucking rice krispies. Then a huge ass meal, with soda bc why not. Then I would have either cookies or hot cheetos as a treat after my huge ass meal,

I’m a short person xd carrying that much weight was making my ribs and back hurt, as well as my legs and feet; my breathing was freaking awful, and there were some days were I got SO paranoid I just said things like “i’m gonna die today” or “out here trying to get diabetes like the rest of your family, aren’t you??” :’) but i didn’t tell anybody. My parents are not really an option in this case, BUT I didn’t tell my friends, because then I would have to explain that I ate a lot and that was something I was EXTREMELY ashamed of.

When February came, I was scared of going out, because I knew I would have to choose what clothes to wear and nothing fit me anymore and, the things that did, looked super stretched on me and, u know, I was sore. My health was getting bad. But I didn’t like to feel that way.

AND I MUST CLARIFY HERE. I’M WORKING ON THAT. I’M ACTUALLY A BODY POSITIVY DEFENDER, I JUST DIDN’T LIKE HOW *I* LOOKED AND, BESIDES, I WAS GETTING SICK. I GENUINELY THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE AT SOME POINT. I’M NOT SAYING BEING FAT OR CHUBBY IS DISGUSTING. NO. I BELIEVE ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL. AND IF I’M WRITING THIS IS BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO KNOW RECOVERY IS DISGUSTING AND DIFFICULT SOMETIMES AND THAT IF YOU’RE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THAT: I’M SORRY. NOBODY SHOULD EVER FEEL LIKE THAT. I SUPPORT YOU. AND I HOPE THINGS GET BETTER. AND NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS SAY, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE TO CHANGE ONLY IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE. BECAUSE IT’S YOUR BODY. KEEP HOLDING ON.

But going back to the story...

My friends used to tell me I looked pretty all the time, which I appreciate a lot to this day. But my parents were like

Me: I’m fat and I look deformed.

Them: I agree.

Because yeah.

Just before the pandemic madness happened, I went on a school trip with my uni friends and one of them triggered my isolation trauma in the worst way possible...and that, somehow, ruined ALL the photos I took throughout the trip. Because I wasn’t enough. Because I was deformed and fat and I looked like an apple. Because nobody wanted to be seen near me. And my personality was shitty.

Like, I should’ve known I was worth it. I’m still worth it and I know that. But I wasn’t less worth it when I was chubbier. And maybe I didn’t look as bad as my head made me believe. But at the time my mental health was extremely awful.

Now, covid happened.

Not gonna lie. Quarantine fucked me up as much as it fucked everyone else, but for me...by not going out, I stopped being near trigger foods, and I was even able to consult a dietitian.

I’ve lost 15 kg since March. And I’ve managed to love my past self, but I love this one because changing it was my decision. Sure, my parents didn’t help a lot, but in the end it was MY decision. I’ve come to accept I was worth it even when I felt disgusted by myself, and all of those awful things people said or did to me, like my friend during that trip...

I didn’t deserve any of those things. Because NO ONE deserves to be treated that way.  No one deserves somebody else making fun of them. No one deserves somebody else doing awful things to them that they know damn well that they trigger their childhood trauma. No one deserves to be judged for the way they look.

I was in a very dark place, and sometimes I’m still inside there. And like...during all those times, I kept posting in here.

I remember being next to my dad in the hospital, telling him “Guess what? Supernova drops this week” or “We’re going to watch TDP together, right?” or “Let me talk to you about She-Ra...” ....those were things that like...saved my life for a while, though mostly Supernova. Because, actually, Marissa Meyer has helped me in my fucking darkest years x’d from my third year of high school until now.

Her books didn’t take my depression away, but they did make things a little lighter for me, even when I felt like dying.

And I know this fandom is like..full of minors, so...I don’t know if any of you need to hear this: But you’re worth it.

If you want to change anything in your body, do it because YOU want to.

Because YOU’LL like you better.

Because it’s YOUR body, and it’s the only part of yourself that you and other people can touch.

Nobody should ever tell you you’re worthless because of your weight and your physical appearance. And if they ever do, then they’re the ones who should apologize, not you.

Nobody has the right to mistreat you, abuse you, or use your own body against you.

As for me...my ribs don’t hurt anymore. Nor does my back or my feet, and my breathing is getting better; I took the conscious decision to lose weight but, like I said, now that I’m not in such a dark place, I’m staring to realize that the past me wasn’t as hideous as my mind was making me believe. She was okay; she was broken inside, but she didn’t deserve anything that happened to her, nor did she deserved to treat herself that badly.

I posted my photo just to celebrate that I can finally said I’m not disgusted anymore. I can finally see myself in pictures again. And see my own reflection. Or go through my closet. Or do my makeup, because I LOVE doing my makeup and I was even ashamed of that. I’m not fully okay yet, but I’m healing.

So, if there’s any little Dawnie around here: I hope you give yourself a chance and realize you’re beautiful.

I hope that, if you change, it’s because you wanted to do it.

I hope you know that it’ll get better even if the healing process it’s not that easy.

I hope you know there’s people who love you.

I hope you know that you are beautiful. You were always beautiful and, no matter what path you choose, you’ll always be beautiful.

And worth it.

And human.

And important.

Take care of yourself, because you’re wonderful, no matter your size <3

[asterekmess]

S3A - E9

The last episode took me Hours to get through with all my notes, let’s hope this one doesn’t hurt my fingers so bad.

My fingers hurt too much to come up with a clever pun so Read More:

Thoughts:

This is a dumb first bullet point, but I love Tara’s hair. It looks like it’s braided or something, then in a bun at the back? I like it.

What exactly was the reasoning for her walking into the school alone like this? Let alone going That far into it? If it’s a 911 call that she’s so nervous about she has her hand on her gun, then shouldn’t there be more than one officer??

ALSO, that seems like Very Bad routine procedure? You got a 911 call (but we get no explanation as to what it was FOR) and the first thing you say when you see someone is “Why are you here?” shouldn’t you be asking “Who made the 911 call?” And then you tell them to leave, and to tell anyone Else they see to leave. When they could easily SEE the person you’re wanting to aim a gun at and TELL them to leave because there’s a cop in the school.

So I’m torn between Julia being just that sick and wanting to terrify each of her sacrifices (which...she talks about them like she’s Genuinely sad she had to kill them, but it was necessary to save the world, so that doesn’t sit right with me?) or fear being a Necessary part of the ritual, like, that the sacrifices Couldn’t be willing?

Honestly, Lyds, that’s so smart and reasonable. “I had to have the weird blackout to get here. YOU get to go find the body.”

What was the point of the staging in the shower room if she was gonna get thrown onto the sign?? Why move her at all?

ALSO if this is supposed to be a threefold death, then didn’t she do it wrong? She killed Tara by strangulating her, but didn’t do the head bash or the throat until after she’d moved her body, for some reason??? Don’t they need to happen like..near the same time?

No to mention that there wouldn’t be much blood bc her throat was slit After death, so the blood wasn’t pumping. Even laying her down wouldn’t render a large amount. But they’re going for horror, so...i guess i’ll let it pass.

Why does it feel like Julia is going after people close to STiles specifically? First Heather, now Tara? And then his Dad? That’s a weird coincidence when she’s got the entire town to choose from.

Also, sheriff, i love you, but ‘they’re not going to get away with killing one of our own.” is a REALLY fucked up line. Police getting pissed ONLY when other Police are the ones killed is SO FUCKED UP. Logistically, police are FAR more likely to get killed than citizens are, aren’t they? They’re the ones that’re supposed to be running into danger? Like, Soldiers don’t Only get pissed when other soldiers are killed, right? It’s literally like...your job to be in potentially fatal situations? that’s not even my point! My point is that your line implies that law enforcement was Half-assing it before a cop got killed. half a dozen people have died, so Beacon Hills should be Swarming with cops, but for some reason the big guns don’t come in until a cop dies? Your phrasing sucks, Noah. Were you gonna let them get away with it if they killed everybody BUT the cops? I’m being sarcastic on that last bit, btw.

I’ll admit, it’s nice to get some actual SUNSHINE in CALIFORNIA

Is Chris letting Allison stay home because she saw a dead body? FOr as long as she wants? I’m so confused, she’s seen Much worse things, shouldn’t it like raise an alarm that she’s choosing NOW to stay home?

Your badassery is tainted by the fact that you’re wearing a dress and fishnets, Allison. If you’re gonna go hunting put on some pants. or shorts AT LEAST. that’s just not Practical.

I love how blatant a lie Stiles is telling Julia in class. “do you play?” “No, my father does” when we Know he plays, and besides if his dad plays then stiles MUSt because that’s a two person thing most of the time? But no, he doesn’t want Julia to know Shit about him.

the loyalty of Lydia not going near Aiden after learning he killed Boyd is SO refreshing. I TOLD you, if she knew Aiden was a murderer she’d never have gotten with him in the first place.

NOt Derek. CORA. MY BABE BONDS FAST. (I mean, she was locked in a bank vault with him for however long)

FIrst off, I love Stiles losing his shit. Second, the acting here is so sub-par, and it looks like a writer’s mistake. okay, so, in acting, interruption is an ART. You have to let someone say enough to get their line across, but INterrupt them before they can finish in a way that looks natural. And you have to make sure not to come in late or you get an awkward pause (this is more common with newbies bc experience actors don’t stop their line, they keep it going until you figure it out.) So like The line is ...And shove it up your freaking--” Now, Scott needs to interrupt without being late, otherwise, unless Stiles Continues the line, he’ll pause after saying ‘freaking’ and it’ll be noticeable. here, the way scott interrupts him feels So Wrong, in part because he let’s Stiles get so far into his threat.

Also, I’m fucking pissed that Scott is downplaying how angry Stiles is. “okay, we get it.” is just...a garbage way to respond to a friend who’s hurting and clearly on edge, thinking Ethan is threatening him.

Exactly How do you “Know” Ethan didn’t want to kill Boyd? You weren’t there, fuckface.

Is this set after school? They’re shouting their heads off and no one’s coming? Even Stiles was shouting about wolfsbane.

THAT IS NOT HOW ACTUAL WOLF PACKS WORK YOU FUCKER. THAT’S A GARBAGE MYTH.

Hearing Cora’s little gasp as her head hit the wall hurt my heart.

Normally I’d be pissed about the girl standing back and not doing anything, but Lydia would be ripped apart and I do not blame her for shouting from the sideline.

I don’t understand what the hell is going on with the Chris stuff. Like, I guess he’s supposed to be looking into it on his own, but that still doesn’t explain where he got the information on this very specific ritual.

But I do understand Allison’s hesitance to outright ask her father what the fuck he’s doing, since last time that happened she was taken to a chained up derek in an underground tunnel system. Finding out her family are monsters is kind of her entire life, unfortunately.

Honestly, fuck yes. Cora go off. Though, I’m sad that no one is mentioning Erica, like At All. You realize she ALSO died at the hands of the ALphas, right? why does no one mention her when they talk about getting revenge?

I...am not talking about this scene.

I gotta say that I enjoy the fact that Allison called Stiles. That’s just...that’s p cool. BUT while it’s cute that her contact picture is from her conversation with Stiles in s2, it’s weird bc it’s a screenshot of the show, and we know that Stiles wasn’t taking pictures at that moment. But the effort is sweet!

I will say that it’s interesting that Cora doesn’t fight Stiles about helping him with his dad. She just finished yelling at Scott, Lydia, and presumably Stiles, and she’s clearly unhappy with literally everyone but Derek, but she’s been very humoring of Stiles. In every scene together, even when she’s snarking at him, she’s not an Asshole.

This conversation with Morrell makes...no sense. Scott literally said in the last episode that good liars wouldn’t have jumping heartbeats when they lied. Then he immediately went to ask Morrell if she was the killer and believed her (even though she’s sketchy as fuck) just because her heart didn’t jump. Wtf?

“But if I kill someone, I can’t be a True Alpha, right?” WHO SAID THAT EVER? WHO TOLD YOU THAT? SINCE WHEN? WTF?

I don’t know if it was intentional (maybe they mention it, but i haven’t gotten that far) but technically having this history teacher disappear leaves an empty class for Kira’s dad to fill when she shows up. Which is neat.

I will forever be angry that Aiden is touching Lydia here. He shouldn’t be near her. And that’s not even me being cranky! She IS PISSED AT HIM. She was avoiding him before today and even then the only reason she went near him was to act as a distraction.

Also, again, I am amazed at Cora’s PATIENCE with Stiles here. Seriously, they’ve clearly been there for a while as Stiles tries to find the words, but Cora didn’t just get pissed stand up and say “I’m a werewolf. People are dying. Help.” She continued to wait for him to talk.

When does stiles rearrange his room? I swear in the beginning of this season it was still in the previous formation with the corner bed sticking out and the desk under the window. Now the desk is facing a totally different direction and his bed’s up against the wall. It’s great, but like, when does it happen? Isn’t this literally the second time we’ve seen his room the whole season?

that’s such a weird text. “Mr Westover Missing” like I don’t know if it’s from Lydia or Scott, but you’re allowed to add some detail? Your keystrokes aren’t limited and there are no government agencies watching your texts for information.

Oh, poor Cora. I honestly wasn’t expecting to bond with her so quickly when I first saw her, but there’s something about getting to see characters being calm that really helps me vibe with them? Like, when they’re nothing but Fight Fight Fight it’s hard to actually relate in any way, but when you actually get to see them talk or relax, then you worry about that being taken away from them.

However much I hate Isaac and everyone else Constantly saying “But I want Scott here. We should ask Scott, blah blah blah” I will say that it’s getting REALLY annoying that Allison’s entire personality is “I”m going to run in with almost zero backup bc I want to be powerful and strong, but then I have to be saved bc I refused to ask for help in the first place.”

Wtf do you mean ‘i’m not that good at this yet’ Isaac? You’ve been a werewolf for literally like 5 months, only like two months less than Scott, and you were LIVING with a born werewolf for that ENTIRE time.

Chris you were shooting at nothing for like two-thirds of that time. That was an empty room. ALSO, if you’ve been there the whole time, why did you wait until he was dead to come out shooting?

Chris yells “help Him” and you go run to stand next to his body without bothering to pull him off the cord around his neck? You realize he might not be completely dead right? Or is his throat already cut?

Also, I wanna note, it was daylight when Cora passed out. Now it’s dark! He went to the ER with her and STAYED with her. I get that people say STiles is kind of callous, but he Constantly goes out of his way for near strangers, and I don’t think that should be overlooked.

No youfcking wouldn’t have Chris, you had tons of time while they were using the garrotte and you just stood there. They came in just before the kill was done, and except for Tara Julia has been leaving people’s bodies where they fall so she wouldn’t left right after. You were NOT ‘this’ close.

Yeah, yeah, and you’re both fucking guilty of being incapable of conversation. Chris you are the adult here, fucking act like it. You had a million chances to confront your daughter and you didn’t. Apparently that’s a habit she picked up from you.

What are they talking about, Scott healing himself?? He was thrown back, he wasn’t injured. I literally just went back and rewatched that scene. He falls backward and he’s completely fine. Stiles, there are so many better instances you could point to. For example, things that actually Happened.

That line is never gonna not hurt.

Stop touching Danny. Stop being near Danny. You are a literal serial killer, get your hands off him. GOD. your brother literally said he would murder danny if he saw you with him anymore, why are you putting him in danger? FUck you.

.....okay, lydia’s speech was meaningful until she fucking turned it into scott worship. Why couldn’t you have stopped at letting her say “maybe I’ll find them before it happens” Why couldn’t it be about HER for once? Why did you have to make it about how everyone thinks sunshine comes out Scott’s ass even though he’s literally not done a single thing to warrant it. He hasn’t Saved Anyone. He hasn’t done Anything to warrant all this trust. Lydia wasn’t there when he made Derek kill Gerard. SHE was the one to save Jackson. And Scott was the one who had to be saved BOTH when Allison had to stitch him up and when Stiles had to go after him in the gasoline. Jackson is the one who saved Lydia when Peter went after her. Scott Didn’t save deaton, that was Noah. He wasn’t the one who killed Peter, that was a combination of Stiles and Jackson’s molotovs and Derek’s claws. Scott wasn’t even the one to protect Lydia when Derek and the pack went after her, that was Stiles, Allison, and Jackson. SHe had no idea that Scott was even THERE until she ran out of the house. Scott didn’t stop Matt, that was Allison’s family scaring him off and then Gerard killing him. THe only possible thing that could count was him saving the two little kids while Boyd and Cora were running around in the woods, and Lydia doesn’t even KNOW about that. Scott has canonically done NOTHING worth all this faith and ‘leader’ nonsense.

were...were they hinting at a Scott/Lydia relationship before they brought Kira in? Holding hands isn’t really a friend thing...?

That....is the softest most broken little ‘hey’ that I’ve ever heard and I’m Instantly on the verge of tears, holy shit.

Derek, honey, what do you mean ‘not again’? You’ve never left Cora, unless you count moving to New York with Laura and Cora was in South America! This line would make so much more sense if they’d given us Any idea what happened to Cora after the fire.

Normally, i’d be annoyed that Melissa is just ignoring the laws about paperwork. I’d even be annoyed that she did it for the Sheriff. BUT, Melissa is in the know about the supernatural and she KNOWS that the murders are supernatural. I’m sorry but Supernatural needs trump human laws. Melissa is totally a boss for this.

EYYYY actual druid (specifically magician druids) thing they got right (though i’m not sure it was on purpose). Magician Druids were Very Well Known for their nature magic. For causing storms and droughts and high winds and fog. The building storm around the school is like, Peak magician magic.

God, it really....it really grinds my gears watching Isaac’s progression toward the most abuse he can find. You notice how, in season 2 when Derek was attacking the Betas on the regular and doing awful shit like breaking Isaac’s hands, Isaac was loyal as Fuck to him? (right up until randomly going to Scott to decide whether to leave town) Then, this season, we start off with Derek being pretty fucking gentle, there’s no indication that he’s been continuing the abuse. Isaac questions his command and Derek’s response is ‘do you trust me?’ to which Isaac easily says yes. In fact, Isaac asks Derek to be the one to hurt him for the memory seeking thing, and Derek refuses because he wants to do what’s Safer for Isaac.Then he throws the glass and Isaac bails bc it’s a direct reminder of what his dad did. Only he goes to Scott, who was incredibly violent toward him in the previous season. (And who we know will be violent toward him in the future as well) But the only time he lists away from Scott, is to go after Allison, who Tackled him to the ground and held a knife to his throat, and whose father inherently hates werewolves and is a constant danger to him. Yet he never goes in the direction of people who Haven’t hurt him. He could go to Deaton, who’d taught him the pain-drain thing and was nothing but kind to him in that short time. He could’ve gone to Boyd after Derek’s lashing out, his pack member, who would never hurt him. Hell, he hates Stiles’ guts, but he could still have gone to him. Stiles was the one to help Derek free him from Jail after all, and he’s not wanted anymore so Noah wouldn’t have anything against him. Stiles may have threatened Isaac to keep him from hurting Lydia, but he never personally laid a hand on him. But he went to Scott. Someone who’s beaten him bloody multiple times.

So, really focusing on the details here, but on Julia’s death record, her  ‘jane doe’ occupation is listed as “Child” Oh, and apparently there was Froth present on the body.

Okay, so I think I understand what they’re saying. The reason Julia lived after getting to the hospital was because the birds sacrificed themselves and their life force kept her holding on. Now, either this was a spontaneous thing, and the birds did it For her. Or she Made them, because we know she doesn’t need to Be There to control weird shit. She could’ve set it up before she left the Nemeton or passed out or whatever. My confusion is. If that’s the explanation for the bird suicides, then what the Fuck happened on the first day when all the birds came crashing through the window?? There was no reason for that to happen. She was totally fine! And doing it to frighten people doesn’t make sense because she set off the radars of everything supernatural in town. (And Stiles.)

This kind of mass mind-control is kind of insane and makes the situation with Derek just That much more awful. I am so sickened.

Now, on the subject of the chanting, I assume it’s part of the ritual since it’s present at the deaths so much. The question is, where did Julia Get it? THOUGHTS: This chant isn’t present at any of the virgin kills. It’s not there with Heather, and while we don’t see the boy at the pool’s abduction/death, Emily Also didn’t hear it during her hallucination. What if it’s part of the virgin sacrifice perk? Like, Julia could Only Use it after killing the virgins, because it’s got some kind of mind-control thing about it?

Wh--why didn’t Julia tape her arms down before she woke up? Why make the garrotte before ensuring her victim couldn’t Punch her in the face??

I thought you JUST said she wasn’t going to be a sacrifice?

Still confused. You didn’t sacrifice Lydia, so that doesn’t count as the third philo, but then the teacher who died onstage wasn’t a threefold death, or the hanging thing, they just got their throat cut and they were poisoned. So....what? Was that supposed to count as your sacrifice?

Nobody TOUCHES Noah, who managed to be the only fucking cop on tv i’ve ever seen follow sensible procedure which is to shoot them in the fucking leg when they walk toward you menacingly, rather than threatening to shoot them in the head and doing nothing.

Final Thoughts:

There was a lot in this episode that didn’t make sense. It’s very clearly an amping up for the finale thing, but it’s annoying that after all this time they’ve essentially made the Alpha pack a time waster. The whole thing with getting Derek in the pack is relatively meaningless now that there’s a Darach going after the Alphas. I dunno, feels kinda off.

Anyway, onward.

[catherineflowers29]

Hi! I'm the anon from before! Oh, thank God. I was worried I upset you because JB shippers get so defensive when someone is critical of their ship or Jaime (btw I'm a Brienne stan before a JB shipper.)

I think your story is so great and feminist... the fact that Brienne was allowed to be angry at Jaime and make the choice to fuck Addam and still be the doting mother and a warrior who inspires women (also thank you for no boring Sansa/Brienne friendship). I loved how she said "fuck that" to any of Jaime's weakass explanations and whenever that bitch was like, "are we good? have you forgiven me? can we fuck?" and she just went like "wtf no you're the worst." like YES. It fucking bothered me the way those S8 apologists defended Jaime's "addiction" and liked the offensive disgusting white book scene. FFS LET WOMEN BE ANGRY. LET WOMEN HAVE A STORYLINE THAT ISN'T TIED TO SOME GARBAGE MAN. LET WOMEN SLEEP WITH MEN INSTEAD OF THEIR ASSIGNED LOVE INTERESTS AND LET THEM ENJOY IT TOO. LET WOMEN BE BITTER AND UNFORGIVING AND COMPASSIONATE AND MOTHERLY AND BRAVE AND AWESOME AT THE SAME TIME. ALL THESE THINGS CAN EXIST IN ONE WOMAN. IT'S ALLOWED. AND BRIENNE IS NO BETTER OR WORSE IF SHE CHOOSES TO BE UNFORGIVING. I HATE DUDEBROS.

I don't think you should be unhappy with your story! Your story has amazing dialogue and internal thoughts, well-rounded characters, and Brienne of Tarth being awesome. If anything, you were too nice to Jaime by having him be happy and giving him a purpose. You should subvert my expectations, lovely author! Don't have Brienne forgive Jaime and get into a relationship with him! Make her kick him to the curb! Break his heart! Piss on his corpse! Probably JB shippers will be mad at you but I've got your back. The REAL Brienne fans know that Jaime did Brienne so dirty, and no bs addiction or duty can justify that!

Ok that's enough... and WTF why would people think your fic is controversial. IMO we should bully the writers who had Brienne easily forgive Jaime and take him back just like that. Fuck them all. I only respect YOU. You got me into shipping Addam/Bri and also validated my anger. Also I was busy, didn't know you updated your fic. Gonna read it now. Not gonna lie, I'll be a little upset if she chooses Jaime because I thought the glass throwing scene was written to show the tragic end of their relationship and how there's no coming back, but I did want to know your thoughts.

Bless you, kind reader. 

I’ve had a lot of thoughts about why my fic is considered controversial. The subject matter in it really isn’t that “dark” in the traditional fic sense. There’s no rape or major character death, it’s not torture porn or anything. And yet, there was rage about it on Reddit, it was banned from being discussed on Discord, and a BNF decided (very hurtfully, I might add) to call me out on Twitter because she had formed a judgement based solely on my tags. I have also been blocked by numerous people in the fandom that I have never so much as had an interaction with. I’ve also had a LOT of shitty comments and anons here and there from people who seem really angry that I had the temerity to write this fic.

That genuinely surprised me. I knew it wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea - what fic is? But there have been times when I have felt like a total pariah and not wanted to interact with other members of the fandom in case they feel the same way. Whatever way you slice it, that’s shitty behaviour.

Largely, when we ship something, particularly when it’s an OTP, we think of that relationship as an ideal. It’s escapism, it’s perfect in ways that our real relationships never can be. I think that’s why, for so many of us, 8.04 was really devastating. Jaime and Brienne are also a ship about acceptance and understanding, of a deep connection that transcends surface impressions - they both see each other for who they really are. That means a LOT to us, I think. I think we all long for that kind of relationship and exploring it in our fandom gives all of us so much happiness. We are in love with their love.

In their portrayal of the JB relationship, D&D ABSOLUTELY got that wrong. I absolutely do not dispute that. I think a LOT of people were angry with me because they confused what I was writing as being supportive of D&D’s take in some way, because I treated it as canon. Some writers were able to paper over the end of the show, dismiss it as bad writing and move on, or write fic where Jaime changes his mind, Brienne forgives him, and then they carry on with what we wanted.

I just couldn’t do that. God knows I tried. But if I had been in Brienne’s position, I absolutely would have been as pissed as fuck about what Jaime did. I don’t accept that he went back for Cersei as a brother, or that Brienne wasn’t crying for herself but only for him and his lost honour. Being dumped HURTS, particularly when you loved someone and thought you had a future, and then he walks out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. Brienne had SO MUCH backstory about being hurt and humiliated by men, having the first man who loved her, the man she gave her virginity to, treat her that way would fuck her up.

I’m not saying that anyone who disagrees with me is wrong, and I never have. I don’t have the definitive knowledge of these characters, none of us do. I only have my take, my experience, my style.

I just couldn’t write about their relationship as being idyllic and perfect any more. Is it a reflection of who I am as a person and as a writer? That’s certainly been the accusation several dozen times. Maybe. It’s certainly a reflection of how I feel women put up with too much shit from men and are expected to be kind and forgiving in return. I HATE that with a passion. 

Angry women are really controversial. They make people of all genders feel very uncomfortable. Sexually confident women do, too, and I think my story was the perfect storm of those two elements, really. People who want escapism from realistic relationships where people don’t live happily-ever-after really took exception to its very existence.

I don’t hold it against anyone for it not being their cup of tea, or if they disagree with my take. God knows there are kajillions of fics out there that aren’t my bag too. Things I’ve rolled my eyes at, things I’ve fundamentally disagreed with, things I’ve been horrified to read. But not once have I ever felt the need to be a public douchebag about it. I’ve never felt the need to make a writer stop writing.

So thank you so much for taking the time to send me this. It does make a really nice change to get an anon be so positive and affirming to me as a writer!

I really hope that you enjoy the end of the story. And that you will enjoy the reboot in a few weeks where we stick with Brienne’s POV and I turn the volume down on some of the elements that I don’t like about the story myself. Not the rage though, or the Addam banging. That’s staying! 

[join-the-joywrite]

Hamish & Vera soulmate au headcannons

Part three of the first words au suggested by my girl, Sima, as anonymously demanded in an ask politely requested in the notes sjsjjs.

Will I cry? Maybe. Will YOU cry? Hopefully Probably. They'll be happy tears tho. I think. I hope.

(Wtf does Hamish even study, guys) Hamish always feels like there's something missing. The apartment doesn't feel like home. It feels strange and alien. He doesn't know what he's missing. Or maybe it's a who? Late in the night, Hamish will check his wrist and he'll wonder when he'll hear the words. He wonders what sort of situation they're going to be in. The days feel monotonous and like they drag on for years. Something is missing.

Vera doesn't go home for anything other than sleep. The past few years, drifting away from Hamish, wasn't so bad. She still went home, albeit very late, and she still didn't have much of a problem delaying leaving. It felt nice to be at home and remember the days when she had enough free time to lounge around with Hamis. Now, going home brought guilt with it. Everywhere she looked, he was there and she couldn't face knowing she had done it to him. Part of her hoped he'd never get hid memories back. She hoped she could live with Hamish having no idea who she was, but she knew she could never live with Hamish hating her. Vera often sits alone in the reliquary, staring at her wrist. Remembering the day she watched the words write themselves. For weeks, Vera didn't look at her wrist because she knew soulmates changed and she knew that Hamish might find someone else without all his memories. She sits behind the desk and fiddles with a ring handing from a chain around her neck.

The day Hamish gets his memory back, he doesn't know what to feel. Jack is very vocal about how pissed he is at Vera and Alyssa, more than the Order as a whole. Lilith just shrugs it off. She never expected anything different from them.

Randall waits until Jack and Lilith have left the den, probably to hunt down their knives that they'd both had at one point. "Hamish --"

"Don't, Randall."

"We don't know if she really wanted--"

"She's the Grand Magus. She holds the highest authority. Don't make excuses for her."

Randall leaves quietly. He knows how stubborn Hamish can get.

"We're going to make them pay," Jack tells the knights after they've been inducted. "All of them."

Hamish glances back to see Alyssa walk by. Yes, he thinks of Vera, all of them.

They need the necklace. They need to get a copy of it.

"Let me," Jack says, "I'll--" "No, I'll do it."

Randall is rightfully Concerned™. "Dude, are you sure? It could get--" "Ugly? Painful? For her, I certainly hope so."

Lilith, as Hamish leaves: So, um, is now a good time to ask about what happened during the ambush last year or . . .

Randall: you know what, I think you should talk to Hamish about this one......

I am a strong woman, Vera thinks to herself when Hamish walks in with a drink. I will not break, I will not break, I will not break.

Ultimately, she gives in anyway a few days later. Not to say that she's blameless. Hamish, despite all his burning hatred, still loves Vera like before. He's intrigued at how he can love and hate her at the same time. Is this what people mean when they say, "it's complicated"?

"Bring me something in a tall glass," she says, absently clicking the heel of her shoe against the floor twice. I want your attention.

"What happened to you?" "NOTHING. What-- what happened to you?"

Randall's still wary of the demon summoning, but he's noticed the look on Hamish's face. He hasn't seen that look in years. Big gasp from Randall. Big glare from Hamish.

Later, once the excitement is slowly dying down for Hamish and he settles down to watch his young friends thoroughly enjoy entertaining themselves, Randall scoots up to Hamish. "You are so weak for V." "Am not." "You've got her lipstick on your face." "Shit, really? Did Jack and Lilith notice?" "HA!" "Fuck you, Randall ..... don't tell them anything." "My silence costs twenty bucks." ".......fuck u"

"Let me dispel the rumours. We are all going to die." Hamish's amused snort is quickly silenced by the withering glare Vera gives him.

When Vera comes to and notices Hamish taking care of her, she's almost relieved. Then she remembers the threat, Alyssa, Kepler and most importantly, no getting close to Hamish until everyhting is all sorted.

"So . . . what's all this talk about wolves?"

Honestly, at this point, Vera thinks she's going to glare hard enough that her eyeballs pop. "You fucking IDIOTS! You lying fuck, you actually got me thinking you genuinely cared. And you, you little shit . . . . you -- you -- you -- fuck you. Where is my inventory?"

"It was stolen from us." :|

"Oh, so you lost it. No surprise there."

"That's a little harsh, V." "I told you not to call me that, Randall." "Sorry. Look, we'll get the sickles back. We won't--"

"Too late."

Losing Lilith only makes Hamish worse. He wants to blame Vera and the Order, he really does. But he can't. He knows Vera and he knows she's not selfish enough to do this for her own benefit. Fuck feelings, they just make everything so damn complicated.

Vera is pissed at Hamish for being so petty. Hamish is pissed at Vera for the blatant betrayal. Vera is pissed with herself for allowing everything to come to this. Hamish is pissed at himself for being unable to resist Vera. They're both pissed and not talking to each other and frankly, it's starting to weigh on Randall, the only one who really knows what's going on behind closed doors.

"You know, you really should talk to Vera." Gabrielle appears out of nowhere. "About what?" Hamish and Randall: terrified screaming for about half a second until they finally spot the tiny Acolyte.

"Nothing." "You two are up to something. I wanna know what it is." "Are you blackmailing us . . . to spend time with us?" "No. What d'you need to talk to the Grand Magus about?" "Getting you some heels so we can see you when you're approaching." "Very funny, Randall."

When Vera attacks the Prometheans (and Jack) with her emotional amplifier, it's not just the desperate cries of a baby ringing in everyone's ears. Among it all is Vera's own voice, her always doubting that she'd done the right thing in erasing the Knights' memories, her thinking about how much Hamish was going to hate her and that was a price she was willing to pay to keep him safe for as long as possible.

Among it all are nights where a very young Vera would cry alone, wiping at her eyes with a bare wrist. And then a much older Vera, hiding away in a vault, refusing to cry as she looks at the words on her wrist.

"I don't need your pity, Mr Morton," Vera says, hoping and praying that Jack doesn't care enough to put all the pieces together. "I'm sorry about your daughter." Vera doesn't turn back to face him. She's okay. She really is. And then a very quiet, very whispered, "and Hamish." Vera leaves before Jack can see her strength fail.

"Are either of you going to tell me why you're all on first name basis with the Grand Magus?" "It's a Knight secret, Gabby, sorry." "Fuck you."

Hamish is still being Petty and Pissed, so when Vera gives them the contract and Randall gets super upset, Jack's the one to tell him to lay off a bit. "I think you're overreacting." "And I think you're protecting Hamish's girlfriend."

Hamish, low warning tone and Vera, high yell: "Randall!"

"Am I wrong?"

"About which part?" Jack mutters, glad the joke makes Randall laugh. He can deal with one angry werewolf. Two is way too much a burden.

"Have you seen or heard from Hamish this morning?" "Why would you ask me that?" Jack gives her a deadpan look. Big sigh. "No, I haven't."

Hamish being missing shifts Vera's entire outlook. She's wasting all this time being mad and angry when she could have been using it to try and mend her relationship with Hamish.

"Is everyone okay?" Hamish grins because he knows that as pissed as they are with each other, she worries for him just as much as he worries for her. Vera would have to hit a very high bar if she really wanted to break off every tie she had to Hamish and Hamish is sure Vera doesn't want to even touch that bar.

Vera is completely stunned when Hamish literally throws Angus out of the room. In all honesty, she shouldn't have been, but still. She expected a little more restraint, given Hamish was still visibly pissed with her. On the outside, anyway.

"I'm sorry, Vera. I saw Angus and I just reacted. I almost died yesterday and now it seems like I might die anyway. Part of me wishes we never got our memories back. I could just go back to being . . . happy."

Vera doesn't turn back. "Would you really? Be happy, I mean. You have all the answers now. You know all the right questions. Would you really be happy?"

"Ignorance is bliss." "Not always."

And then the tartarus eruptions begin.

Jack runs into Alyssa at a Praxis location and the Knights recover a third of the Order's inventory.

"Tell me about these puppies." Obviously, Vera wants information about what Praxis is up to, but Randall deadass adopted the puppies so now Vera is subject to being lectured about the puppies. Okay, not lectured, she's somewhat invested in her new grandchildren. Hamish has a small smile on his face because Vera's still his Vera. Strangely fond of Randall despite all his annoying flaws -- just like Hamish himself.

Vera makes the three of them Magistratuses on the spot and Hamish looks like he's beaming at the promotion but really he's just so thrilled to see Stubborn and Petty Vera go up against Kepler.

"I'll order some wine." "Champagne, please. We're at war with Praxis, not good taste." And she's apparently retained what he taught her about drinks!

No matter what she does or what she acts like, the very core of who Vera is, her innermost self, will never change. And Hamish is glad for it, because that's who he loves. And the words mark her forever, so she'll never forget it.

"It's all right to let someone care about you." Vera shakes her head, because she's done horrible, horrible things and some would even call her irredeemable. She wants to argue and fight with Hamish because away from her is the only place he'll be safe. "V. . ."

Hamish is better at saying things when he doesn't talk. So he takes hold of her hand and gives it two small squeezes. I love you. He tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and trails his hand down to her chin before lifting her head, guiding her to look at him. His fingers tap on her neck. One, two, three times. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you.

And when everything dies down, Hamish swears to protect Vera. He and the rest of the Knights will protect her secret with their lives. Even if she weren't their Grand Magus, she's Hamish's soulmate and given how important Hamish is to them, it's no surprise Vera automatically is, too.

Besides, Randall kinda likes the Mom Vibes he gets from Vera. Gabrielle is jealous.

Vera finds Hamish taking a nap under the tree. He squints at her. "Don't make me look like an idiot. Get down here."

Vera smiles and joins Hamish on the grass. "I love you," she says softly, finally, finally finding the peace and joy she had before she and Hamish started drifting. She looks at the words on his hand, then the words on her own.

Soulmates. Someone who is always going to be there for her, no matter what. It's nice to have one, even though for most of her life, she thought she would never find one.

But the special thing about Hamish is that they had something really special long before they discovered they were soulmates. Vera smiled in the knowledge that Hamish wouldn't have done a damn thing different even if she still had s blank wrist. He loves her, she loves him, and frankly, nothing else matters.

FINALLY COMPLETE!!!!!! I trust this is satisfactory, my loves??

See other soulmate AUs that make me cry