#hope it doesn't feel too uncalled for

[offshore-brinicle]

Yi Sang a butterfly with how a flap of his Wings caused like 700 events

You heard of The Butterfly Effect, now get ready for The Crow Effect

...Speaking of butterflies, because that made me laugh and I like having opportunities to ramble because when left to my own devices my head is all over the place, I've been wanting to talk about Rim for a while. So it's been brought up for a while he's based on another irl author (who was also a literary critic) Kim Kirim, the wiki has a pretty concise summary of his history having also being abducted and dissapearing during the Korean War, but it's also missing some details in how he relates to the real Yi Sang which might indicate his role in Limbus.

The wiki skips out on mentioning that in real life, Kim Kirim and the real Yi Sang were very close friends much like Park Tae-Won (Gubo) and Gim Yujeong (Dongbaek) though it doesn't seem like there is as much of a personal connection between Rim and Limbus!Yi Sang from what we saw in the play and their very brief interaction in Canto V.

(and for the record irl Dongrang and Yi Sang seem to have had no specific relationship beyond belonging to the same organization, their dynamic and specific friendship was only added to the Limbus characters for narrative purposes which I find hilarious)

Either way, it is thanks to Kim Kirim that a lot of things about Yi Sang are known to the public, from one of the most popular stories about how he decided his penname to a lot of details about his death, having even written a memoir after his passing, I did some quick digging through Korean internet and found out some very interesting things about it, first this more formalized article which talks more about Kirim's education which tells us some about his ideals as a writer, though since I do not know Korean I can only offer the automatic translated version.

(original link: Kim Ki-rim, a poet who dreamed of a new literary revolution | Read in Gwanghwamun Walk Walk Feel (kyobostory.co.kr))

Then we go unto his actual thoughts about Yi Sang, also mentioned at the end of this article but go much more in-depth in the following one (which sadly has a pretty broken translation but hopefully it's comprehensive enough through context clues)

(original article link: Seven letters to the poet he admired the most (brunch.co.kr)))

And then we get onto this very interesting interpretation of The Sea and The Butterfly as also being inspired by grief over Yi Sang's death

Seeing this reality it makes an odd contrast with how cold and indifferent Rim is portrayed as in Limbus, both in the play flashbacks and his Canto V appearance, but if the writers are working with the interpretation of The Sea and The Butterfly as being symbolic of Yi Sang's death it also raises a lot of questions about Demian's group, since Demian is also reminiscent of the snake from The Little Prince which is also representative of death but I might have to make a full post about that. If I remember to

Either way thanks for giving me excuses to remember to share information

[ddiidi]

bf!Bangchan x gn!reader (ot8 mentioned)

Masterlist

When he calls you clingy, so you distance yourself

Previous Pt. 1

Pt. 2

Next Pt. 3

!Warnings: angst, swearing, fun at the end bc reader needs fun in life (lmk if i missed anything)

Important!Side-Note!: Should I do a happy ending for them?

It has been 3 days since that incident. 3 days and still not a single message from Chan, not even an apology for yelling at you, nothing. You've been texting him every now and then, to ask if he's okay, eats and sleeps. He never replied to any of them, nor has he seen them, so you spend most of the time packing your stuff and working from home. You were glad you had a job you also could work from home for. Every now and then, you went over to the building, to check a few things, walking extra detours, to make sure, you won't bump into Chan.

A few of the other members texted you the past days, asking if everything is okay and why the haven't seen you around for a while, to which you just replied with "Busy with work and private stuff, dww:)". It made you happy they actually care that much about you, just because they haven't seen you in a few days, but also anxious and sad, since they care, but chan hasn't even shown any intress in you the past days. You weren't even able to tell him that you're moving.

More days pass, and a few days, turn into a week of no textes from Chan. At this point, you wondered if he even knew that you still exist.

So here you were, in your old apartment, stuffed with boxes, not being able to get your mind off chan and his well-being, even though, you're still deeply hurt from what he said, you couldn't just not not care about him....He pointed out two of your insecurities, just like that as if it was nothing and he doesn't even care...not about you not your feelings.

You let out a deep sigh. You should be getting ready for a day with your friends. Not think about some man, who happened to be the love of your life, who calls you his partner, but doesn't even know how to cherish you.

You let out another, heavy, sigh as you drop to the floor to put on your shoes, Let's just focus on having a great time today, you thought to yourself and left the apartment.

Well, maybe it was not the best decision to go out today...

Chan for his part, had to listen to a lectur from Felix, after you ran out, crying. "Chris..you really shouldn't have said all that to her. I understand that you were annoyed or whatever, but that was no reason to yell at her" "Really now? They were just being a fucking, clingy and annoying crybaby that couldn't take no for an answer, for whatever reason." chan sighed out, at the younger member. "That crybaby...was really uncalled for chris. They're your partner, not some random person on the street you can yell at. I wouldn't wonder if they took that "Leave me alone" to heart and actually leave you after that action." "But I-" chan starts, "I'm just saying chris. You better fix this before it's too late. After what you pulled, partners are faster gone than you could blink" with that, Felix leaves the room, leaving Chan alone, again.

Since that talk, Chan locked himself in his studio, thinking about the best way to apologize for what he said. But he couldn't find one. No matter how long he thought, days, a whole week, there was nothing but regret. He just had to apologize in person and beg for forgivness, hoping that you'd actually forgive him.

So there he was, with a giant bouquet of flowers, fresh clothes and hope.

He had the code to your apartment, so he opened the door, ready to be greeted by the warm, wide open hallway, but was greeted with the cold gray of bunch of boxes instead and the first thing he felt, was panic."Y/n? Y/n are you there?" he yelled, as he ran through your whole apartment, but as he saw that even all your date polaroid pictures where gone, he couldn't help but panic even more.

He let's the flowers fall on the floor, running to your room and nearly collapsed when he found..nothing. Where were you? Did you actually go? Did you actually leave him? All these questions consumed his head and that's when he broke, crying to the point he couldn't breath. He took out his phone and called the first number he saw in his recent calls. It peeped a few times, before someone took the call.

"Hey Chris everything alr-" "They're gone! Felix they're gone, they're not here i don't know what to do! I've never meant it I was just-" chan cried and gasped out at felix on the other line. "Woah there calm down, try to breath I don't understand a word. Relax, I'll be there okay? You know there is an explination for everything, that's what you always say, so try to relax it's okay" Felix tried to soothen the older man, while grabbing his keys and running out to his car. Chan didn't reply anything to that and continued soobing.

I have your location, I'll be there in 5." that's the last thing chan heared from felix, before he collapsed on the floor in your apartment.

And you? You were drinking coffee with your friends, while your bestie told you guys a story how she saw a horse that nearly drowned.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾✧༺🖤༻✧✧༺🖤༻✧✧༺🖤༻✧☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

@finnbbl @wolfs-howling

[secriden]

Style in episode 4 made me soft in a way that I truly did not expect. I’ve used the word “guileless” (def: innocent and without deception) before to describe him but I don't think that has been shown more clearly then in this episode.

He tries to be manipulative and lasts for all of one single morning and then comes running to Fadel the second he hears about Fadel asking about him. He's so excited, so exuberant at the thought that Fadel misses him, so happy that his little (terribly obvious and juvenile) plan worked.

Which is why I think he was genuinely taken aback when Fadel only had harsh words for him as a reply (this is not a criticism of Fadel; in this he has been consistent. Doesn't mean they weren't hurtful though). Look at the way Style's grin slowly dies. Watch the way he straightens and backs away a bit, like he wasn't expecting the clawed swipe of Fadel's dismissal.

But Style is resilient. He's tenacious. We see him rally and steel himself to resume his pursuit: because Style is nothing if not determined to hold on to the thinnest thread of hope that he's breaking through Fadel's shell. And can I just take a moment to get emotional about Style offering forgiveness even when Fadel hasn't asked for it?

This, though. I do think this was uncalled for (this is a criticism of Fadel). You can make the argument that Fadel has tried honesty and blunt rejection and it hasn't worked, but I would have respected Fadel more if he'd stuck to his guns and kept rejecting Style in the same manner. Especially when everything else about his character shows he's actually very up front and direct. With Bison, with Kant, hell even with himself.

Fadel is mocking Style's clear and wanton desire for him. Look at the sardonic little grin Fadel gets right before he says, "You won't ever get what you want." Consider the way he was touching Style with that gentle, focused intensity; how he cuts up his shirt and tears it open and leans in close in a way that suggests purposefulness while having zero intention of seeing it through. Fadel knew what he was doing and he did it on purpose, to hurt.

And you can see that Style is genuinely hurt here. I think he has always been prepared for Fadel's rejection, but not his cruelty. Not Fadel making sport of him and his very real emotions and desires. Because Fadel has been rude and condescending before, but he's never been contemptuous like he is here.

And I wonder, partly, if this is because both times we see Style and his dad, his dad is scolding/chiding/correcting him to some extent. Perhaps that's just how they interact. Or perhaps, as implied by the way Style sarcastically said "Thanks, dad" as Fadel drives away in episode 1, Style doesn't enjoy the way his father scolds him and always has criticisms or corrections for him. Perhaps Style just wants to be accepted for who he is, especially by the man he is starting to have real feelings for.

Edit (after Ep 5): I'm so sorry, Papa Style, I did you so wrong. ;u;

@lazzarella made a post recently about Dunk's phenomenal acting in this scene (among others) and I concur so hard about how intense and scorching and "both fiery and steely" Style's anger feels in this scene. He's furious and wounded and you can see it in his gaze, the tension in his jaw, the way he bares his teeth up at Fadel when he says "...punch me in the face? Go on!"

And honestly, he is justified. Fadel's incredulity has no basis here: he stooped back to using public humiliation, something which Style very pointedly has not engaged with since his conversation with Bison in episode 2. Every instance of approaching Fadel since then has clearly been aimed to involve himself in Fadel's private life*.

*Yes even or maybe especially the support group in episode 3. Because while Style may have been treating the whole thing too lightly, all of it is directed privately to Fadel with his secret looks and winks. As far as the other support group members are concerned, Style was a somewhat overdramatic new member that had no connection to Fadel.

But what Fadel did by cutting up his shirt and sending him out in shame regressed them back to their early dynamic, which was far more antagonistic.

This is why Style lashes out at the support group again. Look at the anger simmering in his eyes. The way he makes direct, insistent eye contact with Fadel as he speaks, returning again when he talks about feeling used. Style, overall, is a character that doesn't take anything too seriously so it's almost shocking to see him this visibly angry and so pointedly challenging Fadel in a space where Fadel cannot easily brush him off.

But even now, even in all his rage and hurt, Style is true to himself and his heart. He doesn't want revenge or an apology, he wants Fadel to acknowledge that the thing between them, fragile as it is, matters; that what they did meant something to the both of them.

And this is why I was so broken about Style offering forgiveness without Fadel asking for it earlier: because all it took was Fadel admitting that he missed Style for him to unreservedly offer reassurance and safety for Fadel's heart. There is nothing ambiguous about what Style says at the jeep: he makes his own intentions clear by offering certainty, taking responsibility, promising the very commitment he was asking Fadel for.

He makes himself vulnerable to and for the man who literally just mocked and humiliated him that morning. Style really just let all his anger go immediately like that.

And no, I don't think he was doing all that for the car. This is just how Style talks. He has a flair for the dramatic, and this was the perfect way to reveal his news to Kant. But look at how delighted, how filled with boyish glee he is while he tells Kant the news about Fadel agreeing to be his boyfriend. Consider the way he reacted in the moment: the joy in his voice and the wonder in his eyes when he said "Really? We're dating now?", the way he covers Fadel's cheeks in a hundred butterfly kisses.

Also, a thought that occurred to me - could this be Style's first relationship? We know from episode 1 that he sleeps around, but there's seemingly no mention of a previous serious/committed relationship so far. His dad seems surprised to hear Style is seriously pursing someone. Could Fadel be the first person to capture his interest for long enough that Style developed actual feelings?

Which is also why his fear is now so visceral. He is genuinely terrified of Fadel, but I don't think it's just because he's realised how dangerous Fadel is (after all, he's known that to some extent since he watched Fadel break a man's arm with his thighs). No, his fear stems from the fact that Fadel now has reason to hurt Style.

In the face of the betrayal of his own trust, Style answers Kant's plea to friendship and entangles himself with Kant's lie willingly... and thereby forfeits all rights to the safety he was so confident of in the middle of the woods by an abandoned factory. Because now Style knows that if Kant gets found out, it won't matter that Style didn't intentionally mislead and take advantage of Fadel's vulnerability in the forest. Because he still chose Kant over Fadel here, and that makes him undeserving of the open door he asked Fadel to give him.

Style is incredibly transparent in all his thoughts and emotions and this is why I say that Style is guileless: he is incapable of true deception. His heart is too close to the surface, his desires too obvious, his thoughts too clearly broadcasted on his face.

He is the perfect foil; not only to Fadel (who until this episode held everything so buried inside his chest that we only understand his true feelings in snatches of memories or moments when Fadel is certain that he is truely alone) but also Kant (whose deception, whilst cracking under pressure, is intentional and calculated - thinking about that bowling alley accomplice right now - in a way Style never could be).

And this means that any success on his part in the upcoming episode(s) in deceiving Fadel is going to fall on either Fadel's own willful blindness or the suspension of disbelief the genre requires of the viewer -- but it won't be because Style is actually any good at playing the role now that he knows the full truth.

This is why my heart breaks for Style. Because Kant forced a burden on him that he was in no way prepared to bear. And eventually Style will have to choose between his loyalty to Kant and his burgeoning feelings for Fadel and, regardless of his choice, the narrative demands that Style sacrifice a piece of his own heart in the process.

[roosterr]

white flag ✹ ch 5

note: special thanks to @panicflower for inspiring me with this chapter! i was honestly a lil stuck but their suggestion helped me come up with a direction( ˘ ³˘) hope everyone enjoys!

pairing: ghost x gn!reader

wc: 3.4k

no use of y/n reader's callsign is 'stingray'

summary: simon wants to make it up to you, but he has no idea where to begin. when you start getting close to someone else, he knows he has to fix things before it's too late.

warnings: still ghost's pov, mentions of injury, jealousy reader gives ghost the cold shoulder this time, ghost is just a lil bit pathetic and very emotionally constipated

ao3

【prev】 || 【next】

simon found you in the infirmary.

he knew you hated hospitals; you tried to hide how they made your skin crawl, but he would always notice the way you'd fidget uncomfortably whenever you needed patching up after a mission. even though you more than likely didn't want to see him, his selfish heart still held out hope that he could bring you some comfort.

you're sitting on the edge of a bed, checking the bandage around your forearm when he pushes through the doors. he subtly brushes the dirt from his clothes with his free hand as he takes a step forward, the other holding the hastily collected gift behind his back. but as he cautiously approaches, his breath catches in his throat when he notices the third presence taking up the space next to you.

another sergeant, from the unit the one-four-one is working with for their current assignment. his face is familiar, but simon’s never bothered to learn his name. up until this moment, he was completely irrelevant; but now this nameless bastard was sitting beside you in the space that should he his, and he’s never wanted to punch an ally more than he does right now.

he stops in front of you, and when you lift your head to meet his eyes the pure exhaustion there sends a twinge of pain through his heart. when your friend looks up as well, he feels a surge of annoyance that he’s even here – simon came in with the intention of explaining himself to you, but with someone else lingering around you, he’s afraid he won’t be able to gather the courage.

the humiliation of giving you the makeshift gift he's still got hidden behind his back in front of this stranger would be far too much.

"we need to talk." his voice is harder than he would like, but the other set of eyes on him puts him on edge. he goes to take a small step closer to you, but he freezes when you hold up your uninjured hand to stop him.

"don't," you reply, tearing your red-rimmed eyes away from him as you push yourself to stand up. your shoulders sag and you cradle your bandaged arm close to your abdomen. "i'm tired, ghost."

he grimaces under his mask, watching helplessly as you take your jacket from the waiting hands of your companion – who stands up too, placing his hand on your shoulder with a small smile directed at you that makes simon want to strangle him.

then the idiot turns to him, and regards him with a similar polite smile. "i'm sure it can wait 'till tomorrow, sir." he says, gesturing for you to move with him as he takes a step around simon.

he doesn't bother to acknowledge the sergeant though, keeping his gaze focused solely on you.

"i know, i just–" he begins, raising his free arm to block your path – and perhaps separate you from the outsider – but the way you flinch away from him ever so slightly has his heart breaking all over again. "what i said was uncalled for."

you sigh deeply and drop your gaze to the floor. "then why did you say it?" your frustration is obvious, but he can't come up with a response in time. you click your tongue, before continuing, "i don't wanna do this right now."

"c'mon, man," the spare interjects, pushing his arm down and out of your way. simon finally meets his eyes then, glaring at him with such intensity from behind the balaclava he can see how thickly he swallows. "uh– sir." he corrects, quickly retracting his hand from simon's arm and retreating his gaze to you.

simon resists the urge to roll his eyes, instead turning them back to you as well. "sting." he mumbles, a weak plea for you to listen, but you offer no reaction.

your eyes dart to him and away again as you brush past him with a stone cold expression on your face. he would've believed it, had it not been for the tremble in your lower lip that gave away what you really felt.

for a moment he says frozen in place, watching your back as you exit the infirmary with your irritating companion. he didn't know what to do, now you were the one running away from him. is this how you always felt around him?

before the infirmary door can swing shut he follows you both out into the hallway, keeping pace with you but not daring to walk beside you. the minimal distance between you and the sergeant has his blood boiling, but he restrains his annoyance for your sake. he hears you sigh as his heavy footsteps fall behind your own, but you refuse to give him any more of your attention.

it's pathetic, he thinks to himself, the way he's following you around like a lost puppy, but he can't bring himself to be ashamed. he wants your attention, and he'll do anything to get it.

when you get out into the cold night air, instead of heading towards the main gate like he expected you to, you take a right after the sergeant, towards the car park. his gets a heavy feeling in his stomach, but he follows anyway. your car was still parked outside his house, unmoved since you'd left.

he still follows as you make your way towards one of the few cars left in the space. you say something to the sergeant, too low for simon to hear, and he nods before going ahead to his car.

"ghost," your tone is unimpressed as you turn around to him, arms crossed over your chest. "what are you doing?"

he blinks. "we're goin' the same way." he mutters, his hand squeezing the fist wrapped tightly around his gift that was still hidden behind his back.

"anderson's giving me a lift." you reply flatly.

"oh." his stomach sinks unbearably. he had naively hoped that you'd walk with him, and he'd finally get the chance to talk to you. "...right."

"...right."

you take a step back, going to walk away again, but before you can move he calls out to you. "sting."

you stop and look at him, brows raised expectantly.

in one of his gloved hands, he holds out a handful of delicate white flowers to you. you look at them, and then back up to him with a surprised blink.

"...are those from the flowerbeds out front?" you ask, fixing him with a sceptical expression. he shifts his weight awkwardly from one foot to the other under your scrutiny.

"yeah." he murmurs, "you said you liked 'em."

he hoped you wouldn't comment on the fact that you'd said that during your first week on the taskforce. a moment of tension passes before you gently take the flowers from his hand.

"i did." you say, brushing your fingers over the slightly squashed petals. simon breaths a silent sigh of relief that you didn't outright reject his gesture.

you don't say anything more, leaving the two of you in another uncomfortable pause, but once again, he can't think of anything to say quickly enough. so with another low sigh, you turn on your heel and close the short distance between you and anderson's car.

his arm twitches, a restrained attempt to reach out for you, to ask you to stay, but the door slams shut without you sparing another glance in his direction.

simon can only watch as the taillights disappear into the night, taking you along with them and out of his reach, and leaving him alone in the desolate car park.

"fuuuuck." he growls, tightly pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. why would you want to get into the car of someone you've only known for a few days? even if you were angry with him, you couldn't trust anderson more than your own lieutenant. his hands curl into fists at his sides at the thought that you might actually prefer that prick over him.

with nothing left to do, he begins the lonely walk home. it always manages to catch him off guard, how much colder the world seemed to be when you weren't around.

by the time he’s inside and locked the door behind him, the lights are all off and the door to your room is firmly shut. he considers knocking, but out of fear of disturbing you he decides against it – he’d bothered you enough for one day.

as he lays in bed and retreats into his usual fantasy of you, like he’s done countless times before, there's something different plaguing his mind. your smile, something usually so comforting to him, is directed to someone else.

a striking pain blooms in his chest, spreading to his limbs and his head until his whole body aches with the feeling of you, smiling warmly and holding the hand of someone other than him; he focuses his mind, concentrating on the faceless silhouette until the shadows morph into features he recognises.

anderson.

✹✹✹

he doesn't see you the next morning. you're gone by the time he wakes up, along with your car. it's surprising that he didn't hear you leave; usually he wakes at smallest of sounds, but you seemed to have the unique ability to sneak up on him.

going through his morning routine felt more like a chore than it ever had before, especially the trek back to base with only the silence of the early morning to keep him company. not even the birds sing for him today.

when he finally trudges into the rec room almost forty minutes after leaving home, he finds gaz and soap sitting on the old sofas, playing some card game on the coffee table. he considers turning back around and hiding in his office all day, but he’s spotted before he can escape.

"rise 'n shine, l.t." soap calls, "c'mon, i'll deal ya in."

with a poorly disguised roll of his eyes, he drags his feet over to where they're sitting and drops his weight onto the armchair. he doesn't even know what game they're playing when he's given a hand, but his mind is elsewhere anyway.

"you alright, mate?" gaz's question snaps him out of his daze, but he doesn't get to reply before the door is thrown open and a fourth presence enters the room.

"morning!" anderson's overly enthusiastic voice bounces off the walls of the rec room. simon's head throbs. "anyone seen stingray?" he approaches them as he asks, crossing the distance with a gait that just feels annoying.

gaz and soap look up from their cards at his question, sharing a quick look between them that goes completely over anderson's head.

"they're on inventory, probably in the storeroom." gaz responds, offering him a polite, downturned smile, before looking back and meeting ghost's deadpan gaze.

at least he wasn't the only one who hated anderson's guts.

"perfect, thanks mate!" anderson grins, about to rush back out the way he came, but ghost speaks up before he can get too far.

"not so fast, sergeant." he growls, dropping his cards onto the coffee table and standing up to his full height. he can see soap and gaz share another look out of the corner of his eye, but his gaze stays locked onto anderson like a predator on its prey.

anderson pauses, slowly turning on his heel to face the lieutenant again as he stalks forward. ghost feels a sense of satisfaction at the way he has to crane his neck upwards to look him in the eye, his massive frame towering over the sergeant in an almost comical way.

"yes, sir?" anderson’s voice is strained as he responds, his shoulders noticeably tighter than a moment ago.

"where's your report from yesterday?" ghost leans just slightly forward, crowding his personal space. he sees anderson's gaze flicker to the others behind him, but he knows they're not about to offer their help.

"uh, i filed it first thing this morning," he answers, rocking backwards on his heels. "why?"

ghost sneers under his mask. "well, our captain needs a copy too." 

"but my commander's already left, i can't get it back…" anderson’s brows pull together, confusion evident in his words.

"better get writin' then, hadn't you?" ghost doesn't even try to hide the smugness in his voice this time, take more pleasure in ruining anderson's day than he probably should.

"...yes sir." anderson nods, his gaze dropping to the floor as ghost moves past him. he makes sure to nudge his shoulder as he goes, catching anderson off guard and causing him to stumble slightly.

the three sergeants watch as he disappears through the door, each breathing a sigh of relief once they're sure he's gone. ghost's temper was tough to be on the receiving end of, and his bad mood always seemed to rub off on those around him.

"wow..." anderson grumbles, a bitter look on his face as he approaches the others again. "who pissed in his cornflakes?"

gaz and soap do their best not to acknowledge him, instead going back to their card game as if he wasn't there. unfortunately, anderson either doesn't pick up on it, or he just doesn't care, because he hangs around despite being blatantly ignored.

"reckon he's still in the doghouse with sting?" gaz asks, though the answer is obvious. anderson sits down beside him, much to gaz's chagrin, but he takes no notice of his questioning gaze.

"och, no doubt about that." soap huffs.

"so they're together?" anderson asks, tilting his head slightly with a frown. "i was gonna make a move, but i know they live together, so…"

gaz meets his eyes with a frown of his own. "well…" he looks at soap from the corner of his eye, who has a similar deer-in-headlights expression. "...not necessarily,"

"it's… complicated." soap adds, trying to hide the panic on his face with a begrudging smile that ends up more like a grimace.

"oh, so stingray's available, is what i'm hearing." he punctuated his words with an irritating wiggle of his eyebrows.

gaz and soap share another wide-eyed look.

"i don't know if–"

"now hold on–"

anderson pays their protests no mind however, hurrying to the door with a call of, "sorry lads, cant hang about!" as he leaves.

as soon as the door swings shut behind him, soap lets out a frustrated groan. "good goin' mate…" he grumbles, turning to gaz with a raised brow.

"...don't tell ghost," gaz mutters with a regretful expression decorating his face.

✹✹✹

true to gaz's word, when simon slips through the door to the storeroom you're there, clipboard in hand and quietly going through the stock.

you haven't noticed him yet, so he takes a moment to simply observe you as you work. although in reality it's only been a few days, it could've been weeks since he last saw you and he wouldn't be able to tell the difference. time moved so slow while you were gone it felt like it was dragging specifically to punish him.

it's only as he stands there watching you that he realises he has no idea what he's actually going to say to you, but it was too late to back out now; he was here, and he wasn't sure when he'd next get a moment alone with you, he had to try.

"sting–"

"shit!" 

you jump, your clipboard slipping from your hands and clattering to the floor. your hand presses over your heart as you whip around to face him.

"don't fucking do that, you scared the shit out of me." you shoot him a glare and reach down to pick up your clipboard while simon can only stand there like an idiot, his mind desperately racing to come up with something to say.

"i, uh– just wanted to talk." he mutters, bringing a hand up to scratch at the back of his neck. you sigh lightly and look down to the documents you'd been writing.

"okay, go on then." you gesture for him to speak, and turn back around to the shelves to carry on with your duties.

"well– i.. i shouldn't've said what i said," he begins, following after you as you move along the shelves and continue to write. the way you disregard his presence throws him off – he was so used to having your undivided attention it was strange to lose it.

"we've established that."

"and i regret it," he continues, getting closer again, but you still don't look at him. his voice is significantly weaker than when he began, your ice cold demeanour effecting what little confidence had had going into this. "i just… i don't know what to do."

at that, you lower your clipboard and gaze pointedly into the space in front of you, lips pursed with obvious anger. when you finally face him, the incredulous look on your face has him regretting having said anything, despite not understanding where your fury came from.

"you don't know what to do?" you laugh, but it's dry and humourless. "that's priceless, lieutenant, honestly."

"why? just–"

he's interrupted for the second time that morning by the door opening to reveal anderson, that infuriating grin plastered onto his face.

"you in here, sting?" he calls, eyes scanning the room before landing on the two of you near the back wall. "oh. lieutenant ghost…" the grin falls from his face and the way he stands up a little straighter doesn’t go unnoticed.

simon quietly groans to himself, pouring every ounce of malice he has into the way he glowers at the sergeant. he was so tempted to punch this prick it took an unbelievable amount of restraint not to.

"thought i told you to write that report." he seethes, turning his body to face anderson while simultaneously putting himself between you and him.

"well, i'm getting to it, but–"

"no buts, sergeant." he interrupts, voice dangerously low. "i gave you an order; do it."

"sir, i really don't think it's necess–"

"maybe you'd like to tell captain price why he can't sign off on the debrief?" his jaw aches from how hard he's clenching it, and he's sure his fingernails would've drawn blood had he not been wearing gloves.

"...no, sir." anderson mutters, his demeanour something akin to a scolded child.

"then you'd better fuck off, hadn't you?" ghost spits, gesturing sharply with one hand towards the door.

"y-yes sir…" anderson stutters, backing out of the doorway with a quick, concerned look to you over ghost's shoulder before he disappears around the corner.

now that it's just the two of you, simon turns back to you with a much softer look in his eyes, only to be met with a glare from you that rivals one of his own.

"don't be such a dickhead." you hiss, turning sharply away from him again and going back to writing on your clipboard.

simon scoffs. "you're seriously gonna defend that bellend?" he asks, throwing his hands out to the sides and leaning to catch your eye again.

"you don't even know him." you turn more away from him to avoid his searching gaze, your writing getting steadily more aggressive the more he tries to capture your attention.

"i know enough to know that he's–"

"just stop!" you shout, finally turning to face him with a venomous glare. the tension between you is palpable, it makes his skin crawl, but he doesn't dare move. "i don't wanna hear it! if all you're gonna do is bitch about my friends, then you can leave."

simon's breath falters when you turn your back on him again, dragging a heavy hand over your face as you do. "wait– that's not–"

"just piss off, ghost!" you cry, "please!"

your plea rings through the empty room, echoing in simon's ribcage and embedding itself like a thorn in his heart. he can't see your face, for which he's actually grateful; if he saw you cry again he knew he wouldn't be able to handle it.

he waits in silence for you to say something, anything more, but you refuse to look at him, shoulders hunched and clipboard held so tightly it was at risk of snapping.

without another word, he drags his feet over to the door, looking back over his shoulder to you as he pauses in the threshold. you’re still standing exactly where he left you, back turned and completely unmoving save for the uneven rise and fall of your shoulders.

"i'll… see you at home, yeah?" he mutters, his small tone not at all befitting of a soldier as imposing as him.

you don't respond.

taglist p1: @sofasoap , @siilvan , @mockerycrow , @i-love-ghost , @projectdreamwalker , @achelois-is-here , @adamsloverboy , @thatchickwiththecamera , @chickensandwich69 , @batmanunicorns523 , @tiny-kasper , @dezibou , @pampeop , @cumbermovels , @goth-boi-atlas , @berryjuicy , @guiltgoreglory , @postmodernrevolutionist , @untoldshortsofthefandoms , @delilah-grimes , @sunflowerqueen1416 , @luvssemma , @ghostslittlegf , @imonmykneessir , @kenz-ee , @eistro-phobia , @rzmarona ,

@alanalanalanalanalanna , @cathnoneofyourbusiness , @madsothree , @geisterfvhrer , @lazyninjaphilosopher , @koi-feish , @chaoticgoblindev , @clear-your-mind-and-dream , @lesterous , @glitterypirateduck , @slu77ym4nw415ts , @stateofcatatonia , @rivalriotrenegade , @yoichiislovie , @nirvanaaaonly , @batmanunicorns523 , @sapientiia , @thesecretwriter , @susanmukami , @stars-andfreckles , @spya1 , @tunaa-luvchrm

[sanemistar]

Hey lovely! Is there any chance you’d do a Sanemi x female!reader (she’s a hashria) one shot?

She’s been dating him for ages but all of a sudden she breaks up with him and gets with some other guy straight away, so sanemi is super hurt/angry about it (he was about to about to propose). Anyway, fast forward to the hashria training arc and she’s there with the new guy (he’s a demon slayer), he can see that reader is super uncomfortable around this guy so he’s super suss about the whole thing. Sanemi ends up overhearing the guy she’s now dating that he was actually threatening reader to hurt everyone she loves (especially Sanemi) if she didn’t dump him and date her. But fight insures and blah blah blah, happy ending with them getting back together!

I hope that makes sense, but you have creative freedom to whatever you think is best! Also if you don’t want to write it I fully respect your decision, but if you do write it thank you so much ❤️

never let you go — sanemi shinazugawa

pairing: sanemi x hashira fem!reader

genre: angst, fluff, lovers to exes then back to lovers

wc: 2.2k+

warnings: usage of threats, slight swearing, not proofread oops

a/n: i hope you enjoy reading <33 this was so fun to write thank you for requesting lovely anon !!

you and sanemi have been dating for ages, everyone knows how madly in love you two are with each other. you two are basically inseparable, wherever you are you’re always seen with him, to the point where other people start whispering 'that's the wind hashira's girl' when they see you. you two are the epitome of love basically. so it’s to be expected that you two will end up married at some point, and that’s been your longtime boyfriend’s plan all along. he has been planning to propose to you for so long and today he’s about to finally take that next big step in your relationship.

on a lovely spring day, sanemi leaves you a message with his crow, asking you to come by his estate later because he wants to tell you something very important, so you prepare yourself and excitedly leave your estate to see him, wondering about what is that important thing that made your boyfriend so eager to see you. your train of thought is forced to cut short, though, when someone grabs your hand which stops you from going any further. you take a moment to inspect the person standing in front of you, he seems to be a demon slayer but one of a lower ranking based on his attire. but something about him feels odd and you feel slightly uncomfortable around him.

"going somewhere, y/n?" his way of addressing and talking informally to you as if you two are very familiar with each other pisses you off, can't he see your haori, does he not know you're a hashira and that he should speak to you respectfully?

"and why i should explain myself to you?" you push him out of your way and keep on walking, you don't want to be late for sanemi's meetup. but he grabs your hand and stops you once again, this time his grip is harder than the last time to ensure that you stay still.

"i can't let you go, y/n. i love you. please go out with me." you're taken aback by the sudden, uncalled for love confession. does this guy not know that you already have a boyfriend? and he's not just any boyfriend, he's the infamous wind hashira.

"don't you think you're too bold to ask me such nonsense? i have a boyfriend, you know?" you inform him, eyes looking sharp. he's clearly pissing you off, you should be in sanemi's arms right now, but instead, some random guy is wasting your time.

"i don't care, i'm not leaving until i make you mine." the guy is still persistently pestering you. no matter how many times you reject him, he still begs and pleas. you've had enough of his constant begging and finally reach your limit, so you quickly grab you katana and point it against his throat.

"if you don't stop what you're doing, you're going to regret what i'm about to do next." you speak sternly. but he doesn't seem to be fazed in the slightest. to your surprise, his entire demeanor changes and he pulls away your katana as it drops on the ground. and before you even get a chance to react, he quickly turns around points his own katana very close to the crook of your neck.

"i think you're the one who's going to regret what i'm about to do if you don't go out with me, someone might get hurt, like your boyfriend for example." he whispers into your ear, with a voice full of threat. you know sanemi is a very strong man, but you simply don't want to put the love of your life in danger because of you, you'll never forgive yourself if anything happens to him. so you choose to give up and surrender yourself to the man's demands, all for the sake of sanemi. you always put his safety and wellbeing before everything else, even before your own desires.

"i'll let you go for now, you know what to do, right?" he warns you. you grit your teeth, trying to suppress the tears eager to fall down your cheeks. it pains you to leave the one man you love the most in the world and the only one for you, after you had promised each other to never be apart until death do you part. you can't believe you're about to break your promise in the worst way possible.

with now a heavy heart, you walk towards your boyfriend's estate and sanemi instantly greets you with a tight embrace. you bury your face deep in his warm, bare chest. you wish you could stay there forever, but the words from earlier ring vividly in your ears, causing you to jolt, startling both you and sanemi.

"you 'kay, y/n?" sanemi asks in both confusion and worry, he's sensing there's something unusual about you today, but he can't seem to know exactly what it is.

"i'm... fine." you try your best to assure him. though he's still convinced you're acting strange, he decides to drop his suspicions for now. he has something much more important to tell you, his long awaited proposal.

"i have something to tell you." you both say in unison, but sanemi insists that you should go first. you take a deep breath, your heart weighs heavy. you feel tongue tied, as if your body refuses to let you say what you're about to say next, but you force yourself to.

"i... i want to break up, sanemi." your words drop on him like a bomb, he's surely never seen this one coming. he's hurt and angry, he knows you love him so much, so why are you suddenly asking for a breakup.

"shit, tell me what is it that i did wrong? i promise i'll fix it, just please don't leave me, y/n." you've never seen sanemi this vulnerable before, you can clearly hear the pain and desperation in his tone. it breaks your heart knowing that you're causing him to be in this state, but you're left with no choice. you have to protect him, even if it costs you to earn his hatred for the rest of your life.

"there's no point. it can't be fixed. thank you for everything and goodbye, sanemi." you kiss him goodbye one last time before you quickly run away as the tears you've been holding for so long finally get released, forcing yourself to never look back. because you know that you'll get weak and throw yourself in his arms once again if you do. he watches as you slowly disappear from his line of sight before he breaks down, he's feeling utterly bitter at you for leaving him behind just like that without telling him why.

fast forward a while later, amane-sama summons all the hashiras and announces that there will be a hashira training to prepare for the final fight against muzan, and everyone must participate, which means that you’ll meet up with sanemi more frequently. if it were any normal occasion, you’d be very happy to spend time with him. but with everything that has happened, you’re not looking forward to it.

after the meeting is done you immediately prepare yourself to leave, unable to stay a minute longer knowing that sanemi is right there but you can't hold him in your arms. obviously the rest of them notice how awkward you behave around each other now, wondering why you broke up with sanemi and left him for some random guy who seems to be much less than what you deserve, especially when you and sanemi were so perfect for each other. but they decide not to pry into the matter further in respect of your private life.

the minute you step into the training grounds, you're met with your 'new boyfriend' waiting for you at the entrance as he wraps his arm around you. the sight of him brings immense pain in your heart, you can't stand seeing his face.

"how was it, baby?" your stomach turns upset upon hearing his voice and you feel sick to your core the moment he lays finger on your skin.

"good." you reply nonchalantly. you always keep your replies to a bare minimum, usually reply with a short sentence, sometimes even with just one word. you'd rather not talk to him at all, but you force yourself to.

sanemi notices that you're feeling very uncomfortable around the guy, it’s very clear to his eyes despite him standing at a distance. which makes him instantly feel something is wrong about the whole thing. like why would you date someone you're not comfortable with? he knows this is unlikely of you, so he starts to investigate further.

even after the breakup, sanemi still has feelings for you. he's never moved on from you, he’s only ever loved you, no matter how many times he tries to. he has no interest in any other girl, you're so exceptional he can't seem to find a girl that's as amazing as yourself, you're the only one in his eyes. so he promises himself to do everything he can to bring you back to him once more.

then one day while he's cooling off after a long training session, sanemi sees a bunch of low-ranking demon slayers gathered around a guy and he immediately recognizes his face, it's the guy that stole you away from him. he tightly clenches his fists until his knuckles turn white, furious is an understatement to describe how he’s feeling right now.

he accidentally overhears them asking him how he got you to break up with one of the strongest hashiras and date him instead, and he tells everyone how he threatened you to hurt your loved ones, especially sanemi himself, if you refuse to break up with sanemi and date him.

everything makes sense now, why you broke your promise to him by suddenly asking to breakup without giving any justifications whatsoever. sanemi is incredibly enraged by his statement, his blood is boiling and his veins are popping up, his vision is blinded by all the pent up anger. his body moves automatically towards where the guy is and delivers a strong punch onto his face, completely destroying that cocky look smeared on it.

"you fuckin' asshole!" sanemi shouts angrily as he continues to ruthlessly punch that jerk multiple times to a point where his knuckles start bleeding, no one is daring to intervene in any way. they just let sanemi beat him to his heart's desire. after quite some time, sanemi finally stops and grabs him by the collar.

"you better fucking never show your face to y/n or bother her ever again, ya hear me? try being near her again and i'll fuckin' kill you." the guy only nods in fear, not even being able to speak. sanemi lets go of him and drops his now passed out body on the floor.

desperately searching for you, sanemi keeps running and running asking everyone around for you. until he finds you as you're about to enter your estate. he rushes to you like crazy and embraces you from behind, startling you.

"why did you handle this all by yourself, y/n? why didn't ya tell me?" sanemi asks you in between his crying, and your whole body flinches upon hearing his cries. you know how sanemi hardly ever cries in front of anyone, especially you. because he doesn't want you to worry about him, so he only shows you his strong side.

"i had no choice, i wanted to protect you. i wouldn't have forgiven myself if you had been put in danger because of me." you join him in sobbing as you turn around and bury yourself in his chest once again. you cry your heart out in his arms as he pats your head softly until you slowly begin to calm down. he cups your delicate face in his hands as his calloused thumbs wipe away your tears gently.

"i love you, y/n." he speaks softly, as if he's whispering. you feel butterflies all over your stomach the moment you hear your name slipping out of his lips, you've missed his voice so much.

"i love you too, nemi." you reply back, looking at him ever so endearingly. you lean closer and capture his lips in a loving, passionate kiss. you feel his hands move from your face and rest onto the sides of your waist, pulling you closer to him and you smile into the kiss.

after some time, the two of you break the kiss. yet your eyes are locked on his big, lilac ones.

"i'll never let you go, not now, not ever." sanemi kneels down on one knee, grabbing out a small box with a beautiful ring in it. you feel tears slowly forming into your eyes yet again, this time they're happy tears.

"will you marry me, y/n?" he finally proposes to you, sure the proposal isn't the most grand or extravagant. but you don't mind it in the slightest, this is more than enough to you, the fact that you're finally back together with the man you adore the most is what's important to you.

"yes, of course. my nemi." no hint of hesitation is to be found in your tone, it's the easiest and quickest yes you've ever said. you can't believe you're about to spend the rest of your life with your one and only love. you have no idea what life has in store for the two of you, but one thing for sure is that no matter what happens, you'll always be by sanemi’s side and never leave.

[fictionlovingnerdgirl]

We Fell In Love (In October)

A/N: I'll be getting to requests soon but I really wanted to do something like this for Halloween, I hope you guys understand. And again, trying not to use Y/N but it might slip in there 💀

Warnings: Kissing, but very light innocent kissing

Summary: You and Scott go out to a fall festival, Scott just got broken up with and you might be able to cheer him up :]

Paring: Scott Summers X Fem!Reader

The air was crisp, the smell of fall littered the whole house as you were stirring in your bed. It was the day before Halloween and you had no plans, how lame was that? You sighed and sat up, going to get a cute outfit on, a brown leather jacket, dark brown top, red scarf, jeans, and doc martens. Maybe you'd go out to the fall festival, or hang out with friends? But most people already had plans. Way to go for planning ahead.

The institute was barren, almost no one to be found as you walked down the halls and to the library, except... Scott Summers? She was sitting on a sofa holding a cup of coffee, looking at a book but obviously not reading it, his glasses covered his eyes but you could tell his mind was elsewhere.

You sighed and turned to leave before getting a brilliant idea, smirking and walking confidently towards him. "Wanna do something?" You blurt out as he jumps a bit, closing the book and turning towards you. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, tomorrow's Halloween and all my friends have plans, I thought maybe.. we could do something?" You say, your confidence wearing thin as you watch him, not knowing where his eyes were. She slowly starts nodding, "okay.. okay, yeah. What were you thinking?" He sits up, looking more serious.

You let out a breathe you did even know you were holding. "Uh, fall festival? I was also thinking of going later tonight but if you're not free we can do something else." He nods and you feel like your heart is gonna explode. "When do we leave?" he smiles slightly, and your heart actually DOES explode. Your interest in Scott didn't appear until now, this was uncalled for.

"Uhh, I sleep in so.. what time is it?" You check your phone and it's 3 PM "maybe at... Six?" You say, holding your breath again, hoping he doesn't have plans, instead he nods and hums, "okay, okay, I'll pick you up at your room at five fifty?". You nod eagerly, giving final goodbyes and fastly walk towards your room as you turn the corner from the library.

Hell yeah

Getting ready for a fall festival? Easy enough. Getting ready for a fall festival with a hot guy that for some reason you randomly want to kiss? Not easy. And nothing was looking perfect, it was hard enough finding cute clothes, but finding cute clothes that Scott might like was like a whole other subject. He was so.. fashionable. Somehow. Most guys aren't, but he definitely knew how to dress himself.

You put some products in your hair and try a few different outfits before deciding on a creme top, a dark brown jacket, a red scarf, flared jeans and a cute pair of doc martens. That was fall-y, for sure. But would he like it? Probably, it would be fine. Stop overthinking it.

A knock at the door startles you, you just got finished putting on your shoes too, he was perfectly on time. Opening the door he looks up from the floor, smiling slightly, "Are you ready?" She tilts his head a bit, cute.

"yeah- I'm ready." Smiling back, he definitely didn't hate the outfit, thank God. Wait, was this a date?

You two walk to his car together, (which was also perfect, just like him) and he walks to the passenger side, opening the door and nodding for you to get in. Your heart quickens and you can feel your hands get clammy, this was not the plan, it wasn't supposed to be so stressful.

The silence is almost awkward, and you can't tell where he's looking like, ever. So you sit there, hands in your lap, and look at your feet, his voice startling you. "I haven't... Gone out in a while." She looks almost embarrassed "Not since me and Jean broke up."

Ah, of course. That makes sense now, that's why he was in the library and not even reading the book. Is body language seeming tired. "It's all good, I don't have many friends that wanna go out anyway." She scoffs and rolls her eyes.

Scott laughs a bit at your comment, pulling into the parking lot, getting out and walking over to your side and opening your door, holding his hand out. It felt like a moment from a movie, or a book. Taking his hand and getting out of the car, feeling a bit more comfortable in his presence knowing he was nervous. It was cute.

The festival wasn't packed, but it wasn't abandoned, it was almost perfect. "I've.. never been to a fall festival." He looks at you as you let out a dramatic gasp "that's a crime, Summers!" You cry out, he laughs at your dramatic display, his shoulders relaxing and his body language going from professional and gentlemanly to comfortable and himself.

"Well... Let's fix that." You sigh and take his hand in yours, his face turning a shade of pink as his hums and nods. Making your way to the concession stand and getting some food, his presence oddly comforting and you feel your heart swell, dating never went well for you and it always ended with you promising to never care for someone ever again. This felt.. different.

After eating some pie and drinking warm apple cider, you get up and walk together in the corn maze, it wasn't too big so it shouldn't be so hard but for some damn reason you always kept circling around to the entrance.

"Damn it, isn't this supposed to be at least kind of easy?" You say, your voice laced with annoyance but you also found it kind of hilarious. Scott's face looked way too serious about the matter, "I'm giving up, we can just go sit on that porch swing." He sighs and walks over to the swing, his face still serious and almost annoyed. "Not having fun?" You say softly. "It's not that, I'm having a great time, it's just..." He pauses and looks down at his hands, his gears turning, it's obvious on his face.

"I think I'm having too much fun, I just broke up with Jean but I... I feel perfectly fine. I like it here. With you." He says the last part almost as a whisper, his face hard to see but you could almost tell his face was flushed. "Scott, that's not a bad thing." Softly putting your hand over his, your thumb grazing over his knuckles and you smile at him, turning all your attention to him.

"I know, I guess it's just hard to admit." She turns his head towards you and you're inches away from each other. Opening your mouth slightly to speak but nothing comes out, your hand reaches out to caress the side of his face. "That's okay, no rush." You say in a whisper, before leaning in a bit to see what he would do. Surprisingly he doesn't lean away, instead capturing your lips in a soft kiss, one filled with gentleness and love. She had so much love to give, Jean was always selfish and took it for granted. You wouldn't.

You quickly return the kiss, deepening it but not too much, keeping a sort of soft innocence in it before reluctantly pulling away. "So, you don't mind a little rush?" You tease. His face is blank and you can see the slight blush on it. "I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted, I just-" he's interrupted, you lean back in and kiss him once more, just for a second.

"I didn't say I didn't like it."

[personasintro]

Hi, its me the yapper!! Once again!! 👋👋

I just wanted to clarify something that both you and other commenters seem to have gotten wrong; Whatever I said was incase of the scenario that you’re not feeling the story like you used to, so writing it has taken longer bcs you do not enjoy it as much but you still want to appease the reader. Hence the unwanted suggestions I made.

In my point of view, it seemed that way so I thought it was inevitable that you one day drop the fic because yes we’re getting older and busier and we drift away from things we loved. Thats why I said “is it really that serious?” because you obviously seem willing to keep writing but the wait has gotten so long that it looks like you’re doing it out of obligation(?!).

Looks like I misjudged and I apologise if thats not the case. But it came out of genuine curiosity because I just cant comprehend such long wait. Thats a me problem ig🤷‍♀️

So what I got out of your response is that yes we might/will see the end of mh in like 1-2 years? (more or less)I get that I sound bitter but I promise I am NOT lmao its pure curiosity I promise!!!

Ps to people who said that that was uncalled for or that its serious to me otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered; As I said I am an avid reader of mh so after a reread I thought I could share my thoughts? Like its genuinely not that serious even to me, I didn’t think twice before sending the ask I did it just because the thought crossed my mind. And l believe the whole waiting thing is a fact, so people’s opinions on it are very much called for?

Is it any of our business how long mimi takes to write? No🙂‍↔️. Are we as readers entitled to an opinion as long as we’re respectful? I’d like to think yes🙂‍↕️

Anywayss have a good one yall

i understood what you meant in your previous ask. and i still stand by what i said many times before – i do not hold here anyone against their will and if anyone feels like they're getting older and lose an interest in any of my stories, that's okay and it's their decision to make. i can't be responsible for everyone's feelings of how they feel about this exact situation. that's beyond my control and you're all free to feel however you want. i do wish people would be more understanding and respectful and that's why i said that no one knows what someone goes through. just because i'm no longer totally open about what's going on in my life, doesn't mean i don't care about my stories.

i'm not writing out of obligation. sure, i do feel a certain responsibility to make mh my priority even more than ever, but it's not an obligation. and i wouldn't just drop the story. i said this too, i'll finish this story whether it's for myself or for everyone else as well.

i said this many times before too – i'm in a position where i write whenever i can and want. i do not have any schedule, actually i never had one – but readers were used to more frequent updates and now, of course it's harder to get used to less frequent updates. but that's just life. i apologized when i never had to. my plans was always to finish mh asap (still is) but sometimes things don't go as planned and there are things i don't even have control of.

i respect your opinion and i'm merely explaining myself on this, hope it can be taken with respect and understanding as well!

have a good day everyone ☀️

[joejhang]

every insane thing that happened in arcane season 2 act 2 (spoilers)

isha. (don't SPEAK to me don't TOUCH me don't mention it i'm crashing out)

VANDER???? (bro...i'm losing it.)

caitvi reunion how we feeling (they have a LOT to work thru next act bro)

jayce when i catch you jayce (i mean ok we don't exactly know why he did it but like EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL)

guys i think jayvik broke up fr this time

caitlyn redemption arc i'm holding out hope (JUST bc she saved vi doesn't mean she doesn't have inherently discriminatory views and her actions didn't majorly affect others i could write essays about her)

ambessa...girl tf

MEL WHAT'S GOIN ON

dude where is ekko and heimerdinger they're like my unproblematic faves

VI AND JINX OH MY GOD DON'T TALK TO ME (the way i was sobbing my fucking eyes out when they finally reconnected like sisters. goodBYE. i can't do it. i'm losing touch with reality. they better be going strong next act)

on that note JINX...MY GIRL. MY BABY. (i can't do it it's the way she's lost probably the person who mattered most to her just then. i'm gonna lose it. i'm gonna lose it! hahaha doing great NO because we were going so strong I'M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH THEY COULD'VE JUST BEEN A FAMILY ambessa when i catch you ambessa)

the flashbacks to vander and silco and felicia...that was pretty uncalled for (the watercolour shit was the last straw bro)

lowk disappointed we didn't get more of pitfighter vi but it's probably good for her mental health

also i need to like SIT vi and jinx down so they can talk things thru properly bc i feel like there's still...many unresolved issues there

if this makes jinx spiral and disconnect with vi again i might kms

jinx about to flip off sevika but forgetting she lost her finger is lowk sending me

jinx is so much calmer this season bro GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE MAKES ME SO SICK

so is viktor like...dead

dude where is sevika i like how she just disappeared girl tf

also sevika WHY did you cut ur hair

dude the maddie and caitlyn JUMPSCARE...the way it was like the FIRST scene too

i can feel the caitvi angst from three episodes away

the act 3 preview was insane too (JINX OH MY GOD JINX COME BACK TO ME BB)

dude is viktor like...god???

VIKTOR COME BACK TO ME UGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

on that note his new look OH MY DAYS my biggest hear me out tbh

cait commenting on vi's new hair is actually TAKING ME OUT

also vi calling her "cupcake" caitvi nation we are SO back

i'm gonna be real i'm more interested in jinx and vi's relationship healing than i am in caitvi WOAH WHO SAID THAT

OH AND I'M SO INTERESTED TO SEE HOW CAIT AND JINX'S RELATIONSHIP IS GONNA CHANGE...THAT LITTLE CONFRONTATION AFTER JINX FOUGHT RICTUS WAS SO TENSE AHDSNBHFAHJ

dude i'm scared there's way too many loose ends to be tied up in just three eps (the black rose shit, piltover vs zaun ???, whatever tf the arcane is, ekko and heimerdinger, ambessa doing whatever tf she's doing GOD I'M SO STRESSED)

[sheikahwarriork]

Sylvain: I think she is staring again…

Dimitri: I am sure she simple despises me.

Felix: It’s called focus, boar. You should try it for once in your life.

Jeralt, who is in horse duty nearby and knows exactly where she is looking as once he also received the very same unblinking, wild and intense gaze from Sitri to his own bosom: … that boy has no idea what he just got himself into.

CANON TO ME DEAR ANON!!

i liked this idea so much it made me write a little fic, i hope you'll enjoy!

wordcount: 2.4k

Staring

Dimitri was puzzled by the Ashen Demon- no, she said her name is Byleth, and Dimitri couldn't find a reason to not use it (especially because it sounds so sweet on his lips)- by Byleth's intense stare. The woman was not very expressive, he knew it well by now; and despite Dimitri's efforts to get to know her better, he still couldn't figure out why she started to staring at him so much. He was almost sure she hates him, and how could he blame her? His army essentially forced her and Jeralt's company to join the kingdom (that, or death); and even if Shez tried many times to reassure him that Byleth wouldn't do anything she doesn't want, and Jeralt himself thanked the king for freeing them from the Empire's hands, Dimitri can't help but feel like Byleth Eisner isn't feeling comfortable in his army. ('Forced to fight for the useless beast you are-')

And that was a shame, because the woman was a formidable warrior (stronger than Felix, or Dedue, or Shez, and perhaps than Dimitri himself), and Dimitri wish he could make the woman feel more at home. After all, he was the king: it was his duty to make sure everybody is fine. No other reasons whatsoever, of course!

---

Entering the Dining hall of the kingdom's camp, Dimitri immediately noticed two things: Byleth Eisner was eating with Shez and Flayn; and Byleth Eisner's look turned to him the very moment he stepped foot in there. Feeling flustered, Dimitri's gaze turned away, but he sould feel the woman still staring at him. (He already noticed that, if she got caught in her staring, she didn't look embarassed like anyone else caught staring would be; she kept doing whatever she wanted- exactly like Shez told him.)

Sylvain must have noticed too, because Dimitri could hear him chuckle a bit. "She really is shameless, isn't she," he said with a teasing tone.

"I am sure she is holding a grudge towards me," Dimitri replied, unable to hide the light sad tone. "Everytime I look at her, she has that same staring expression."

Felix sighed, annoyed. "For someone so sure she hates you, you sure seems to notice her a lot, stupid boar," he said, rolling his eyes.

Sylvain's chuckle becomes a full laughter.

Dimitri's cheeks blush. "I- I only wish for Miss Eisner to feel comfortable in our army."

Sylvain, still laughing, managed to catch breath. "Well, maybe you should try to give her a dagger, Your Majesty!"

Now Dimitri's blush reached his ears. "Sylvain!" he exclaimed, looking at his friend in astonishment. "This is very unprofessional and uncalled for."

"Strange to say, but the boar is right," Felix said. "If she truly hates him, why should he give her a weapon?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

Aware that Felix didn't know about the so-called "dagger incident", and fearing that Sylvain was going to tell too much, Dimitri tried to change topic. "Do any of you know about today's stall duty turn?"

He failed. "Well, Your Majesty, if you're really so curious about her feelings for you, shouldn't you ask her directly?" Sylvain said with a malicious hint in his eyes.

Felix shrugged. "Again, strange to say, but Sylvain is right," he said, then looked at Dimitri. "This whole thing is distracting you. Fix it before you fully become a full useless boar, and not just an annoying boar."

Ignoring Felix's last comment, Dimitri nodded. "You are probably right. I should speak to her and make sure Miss Eisner is not bothered by something."

---

When Byleth reached puberty, Jeralt feared he was too old to deal with a teen girl; but luckily (for him) his kid never caused any problem, never went through any "rebel" phase, and never showed any interest towards anyone. And even if Jeralt knew it was selfish of him, he was glad his little girl was still the same.

But now, he would trade a whole troublesome adolescence, if it meant his daughter wouldn't fall for the freaking King of Faerghus.

The Eisners were assigned for stall duty that evening, and as always Byleth was doing an impeccable job. But she suddenly stopped in her working, and Jeralt noticed her eyes carefully following the king's movement: he was walking near them, probably headed to his tend; and Jeralt noticed the nervous expression of the king, when he noticed Byleth was staring at him.

"Hey, kid?" Jeralt called, hoping to catch her attention.

"Yes?" she replied, her eyes still fixed on the king's figure.

"Are you feeling alright? We can take a break if you want."

"No need," Byleth simply replied, not bothering to look away. When the king was out of sight, she turned to Jeralt. "Dad, Dimitri's weird."

The man almost choked. His daughter always has been honest and straight to the point, but to hear her call the king in such a casual manner… he was glad that at least the king didn't look like a strict guy. "Wha- why do you think so?"

Byleth frowned a little, the expression Jeralt knew she made when trying to express a thought she herself didn't really understand. "He… is weird. He's not like anyone I've ever met."

Jeralt sat down. 'I'm too old for this.' "Is that why you stare at him so often?"

Byleth nodded. "I'm curious. And I'm trying to understand why he intrigues me so much."

"So you're… intrigued by him?"

Byleth nodded again, not showing even a hint of embarassment. "And I can't figure out why. He's strong, but he's not the only strong person I met, right? And he's tall, but Dedue is taller. And he's very kind- well, Mercedes and Annette are kind to me too, but in a different way. And he has a pretty smile. But other people smile too. That is to say, he doesn't have anything special per se, and yet, it's like everything is special about him. And I can't figure out why." Byleth was frowing again.

Jeralt wished he had at least a beer with him. "Well, kid… sometimes, people think someone in particular is very special, and that someone is special in ways only for them. The king… is not weird. I think you're intrigued by him not because he's weird, but because you feel he's special for you."

Byleth brought a hand to her chin. "And why is that?" she asked, sincerely puzzled.

Jeralt wished he had two beers with him. "I don't know, kid. Nobody knows how… uhm, why sometimes people think someone else is special. Only the Goddess, perhaps."

Byleth looked like she was lost in thoughts for a few seconds, but then she shook her head. "No, I don't think she does."

Confused, Jeralt decided to drop the matter. "In any case, it's completely normal to feel this way about someone. So you shoudn't worry."

"I don't," Byleth stated. "I guess I'll just have to live with that."

Jeralt's heart almost broke. His kid's first crush was a king, probably already engaged with some duke's daughter: not the most lighthearted romantic story. And yet, the look on his daughter face when looking at Dimitri was the same one Sitri used to give him, a long time ago. It wasn't a simple crush.

He made a bittersweet smile. "Kid, have I ever told you the story of when I met your mother?"

Byleth looked at him, her eyes full of curiosity. She simply shook her head.

"The first time I saw her, she was watering some flowers. Blue irises, just like her eyes. She was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen; she was so captivating I stopped in my walking, and almost tripped! She heard me and turned to look at me… And when our eyes met, she simply smiled. And that is when I knew I fell for her."

"So you did trip in the end?" Byleth asked, tilting her head.

Jeralt chucked, shaking his head. "I mean I fell in love with her."

Byleth nodded, as if understanding during a lesson. "I see. Interesting choice of words." She adverted her gaze. "But thank you for telling me this story."

Was Jeralt's sight getting bad, or was his daughter smiling?

---

Dimitri breathed deeply. The time had come to face Byleth Eisner, to finally talk to her and find out whatever reason she hated him for.

He was well aware of the true reason he postponed the talk for so long. The fear of hearing her sweet voice telling him how much and why she hated him was frightening at least. ('Pathetic. To fear some words from a whatever mercenary girl…') The fear of seeing her go away, far away from his army, far away from him-

Regular as clockwork, her stare was on him the very moment he entered her field of vision (-The fear of not watching her beautiful emerald eyes again-). She kept staring at him while he was approaching. Her stare was unnerving; and Dimitri realized, it was not because he didn't like the idea of getting attention from her, but because it was like she could see inside him, see the monster he truly was. (-The fear of hearing she knew the beast inside him, the fear she may hate him for what he truly was, the fear of knowing she, too, rightfully hated him-)

"Good evening, Miss Byleth," he managed to say, trying to hide his anxiety.

"Hi, Dimitri," she simply replied, calling him by his name. Someone else would be offended by such casualness, but Dimitri always preferred to be addressed by his name, rather than sumptuous titles. (-The fear to lose one of the few people that seemed to understand his wish, the fear to not hear his name from her sweet lips ever again-)

"I don't want to cause any inconvience, but may I speak with you?"

The woman was sitting on a bench, polishing her sword; she simply nodded and made space on the bench for him.

Feeling more nervous than ever, Dimitri complied, and sat next to her. Byleth set down her sword and whetstone and looked at him. "What's the matter?"

Dimitri inhaled deeply. "Forgive me if it's not the case and I'm stealing your time uselessly, but I have the feeling you hold some kind of sentiment towards me. If I have done anything that upset you, please feel free to speak to me."

"Oh. So you have noticed," the mercenary said, for the first time adverting her gaze.

Dimitri felt his heart sink. 'She hates you. Of course she hates you. Were you really hoping she was interested in such a lowly beast-'

"I talked to my father, and he said I think you're special," Byleth kept talking. "Then he told me the story of when he met my mother. I'm not completely sure the two things are related, but maybe he meant he thought my mother was special too?" she asked, looking at Dimitri, as if he had the answers.

He simply blinked. "I'm sorry. What?"

"See? So I'm not the only one that doesn't understand," Byleth sighed.

"No, I mean… I- what… You… What?!"

Byleth looked at him again. "I mean, it was a nice story, and I'm glad he told me. Jeralt rarely speaks about my mother. But I don't understand. And it's annoying. Dimitri, do you think someone is special for you?"

Dimitri was speechless; their talk wasn't like anything he had prepared for. "I- well, I think you're a very special person, Miss Byleth," he finally said. He did, in fact.

"Oh." Byleth, the usually impassive Byleth Eisner, the infamous Ashen Demon, the one mercenary known for striking down enemies without batting an eye, was blushing.

"I- I mean, I saw what you're capable of on the battlefield, you're one of the strongest warrior I've ever met. But I know you're also very kind and patient- I see how you help everybody you can here on our base, and… And you're also very smart, your strategies in the last battle were crucial for our victory! It's a pleasure to have hired you, I consider myself a lucky man to have the change to know you, Miss Byleth. So yes, I can confirm you are a special person indeed."

Dimitri was aware he stuttered a lot, but couldn't stop himself in keep going. Especially because for every thing he said, the blush on Byleth's cheeks got redder. And she was more mesmerizing than ever.

"Very interesting," she finally said, breathless. "Now I understand what my father meant with 'thinking a person is special'. Thank you."

"I admit I feared you held a feeling of hate or some sort for me, Miss Byleth, but I'm glad to know it's not the case," Dimitri said with a smile, feeling lighter.

Byleth frowned lightly. "Why would I hate you?"

Dimitri blushed. "I…" 'Because I'd deserve it.' "It doesn't matter."

"Well, according to my father's words, it's more like I'm in love with you, so I don't think I hate you even a bit," Byleth bluntly stated, as if reflecting on a mission plan.

Dimitri stared at her, sure he didn't hear her words well. Surely he misheard, she couldn't really feel that way for him, he wasn't worthy of such things from anyone, especially her-

And yet, if he did hear her right, if she truly meant what she said- if there was a little, brief possibility she returned his sinful feelings-

"… So yes, you shouldn't worry," Byleth nodded at her own words. "If it's all, I think I'll go to get my dinner. Are you angry? We could-"

She was getting up, she was about to walk away. Unable to stop himself, he grabbed her by the wrist. He needed to know. "Can you repeat that?"

Byleth tilted her head. "That I'm gonna get my dinner?"

"No… before that. That you lo… that you lov…" Dimitri immediately regretted his actions. Of course he misheard her, and now he was making a fool of himself. 'To hope for such things when it's clear nobody can love you, do you enjoy so much to suffer?'

"Oh! You mean that I'm in love with you?" Byleth replied. "My father didn't exactly said that, but I guess it's the right name for this feeling-"

Dimitri moved quickly, taking her face in his hands and pressing a soft kiss on her lips. "Byleth, I love you too. Please marry me."

Byleth was right in thinking she'll live loving Dimitri, and Jeralt was wrong in worrying about it.

bonus scene:

Byleth: Dad, I made a weird dream about Dimitri. We were both naked and-

Jeralt: NOPE. I'M TOO SOBER FOR THIS CONVERSATION

[oneatlatime]

Bitter Work

Life took me out at the knees for a couple of weeks but I'm back! I'm hoping this is a nice restful episode after the relentlessness of The Chase.

I have to say, Toph's nicknaming skills are on point. I never would have thought of Sugarqueen, but it fits perfectly.

This is me. Every morning.

Full nose plant from Appa.

And the beat up Sokka quota is fulfilled. Very funny Toph, but completely uncalled for. If someone had catapulted teenage me 50 feet into the air while I was trying to sleep, it would have been fully justifiable homicide.

Aang is always trying to run before he can walk. What was Iroh always saying to Zuko about basics? Aang needs that speech too.

I was really on the ball in my post about how airbenders aren't homicidal, actually. Rock is a stubborn element. Yay me!

Aang earthbends = Earth bends Aang.

Seriously, how did he mess up that badly?

Cozy.

Thank you Zuko for the incredibly obvious exposition that's somehow completely in character. Interesting to see that Iroh and his son had brown hair, but Zuko seems to have black hair. More hair variety in the Fire Nation than I thought.

Tangent time! I love the contrast in social intelligence (I guess that's the term?) in this scene. Zuko wakes Iroh up with an infodump, some bad tea, and then gets straight to discussing strategy. Iroh's first actions are to compliment the bad tea, then dispose of the refill in a way that won't hurt Zuko's feelings (probably not necessary, as Zuko seems to be the type that's oblivious to all things other than the task at hand when he's focused). Iroh, injured and awake for all of 15 seconds, jumps straight to actions that help look after his nephew. And Zuko is trying! That's why he made tea! But still, he doesn't even ask if his uncle's feeling ok. Zuko has such a massive gap in his education - he can probably reel off the specs of all Fire Nation battleships, but he doesn't know how to be a human person. Contrast that with Iroh, and especially Katara, who makes friends and connections with such aggressive forwardness that she's at times more steamroller than teenage girl. It's funny how privilege plays into this too - Zuko comes from probably the single most privileged (on paper) family in the world, yet it's the children of the impoverished water tribe who have the more well-rounded education/socialisation.

"She's crazy and she needs to go down" go a full belly laugh out of me.

"What if I came at the boulder from a different angle?" Jesus I was REALLY on point with my post about the airbenders. Credit where credit is due, this show has such good writing/worldbuilding that viewers have picked up what Toph is laying out in this episode already. Also a little bit of stealth character work in there - since Toph is putting into words what we've been thinking this whole time, she now reads as trustworthy. This show is so good. So thought out.

Maybe it's just VLC being weird, but methinks Katara is having some trouble with her eyeball.

Katara STOP BABYING HIM. This is why I don't like Aang having a crush on her.

Honestly it's refreshing to have Toph giving it to Aang straight, no softening the blows.

I really like this texture.

Sokka's club is a giant bottle opener. Or at least a multitool.

ROCK SUITS

wait

ELEMENTAL FASHION

oh this is going to be haybending all over again.

They are totally going to have to nerf this girl. She could defeat the Fire Lord right now.

Earth beats water tribe

Someome who knows more about tea than I do: Why are both pots necessary?

"requires peace of mind" well that's out. Sorry Zuko, we'll have to get you a taser instead.

"So we're drinking tea to calm down?" "not it's to get the nasty ass taste of the sludge you brewed out of my mouth. I mean yes." For what's looking like an extended training montage, this episode is far funnier than it needs to be.

I pretty much don't notice Zuko's scar anymore (it's just part of his character design) then every so often a certain frame of animation will come out of the blue and remind me that this kid's missing half his face. I don't know if it's intentional on the part of the animators, but his scar is prominent this episode.

So it sounds like bending lightning actually corresponds with how lightning in our world works. Neat.

In an absolutely Shocking turn of events (pun absolutely intended), Zuko fucks it up. Fucking shit up: the autobiography of a Fire Prince. Has a nice ring to it.

Toph I know you go hard, but maybe apply a sense of proportion to this?

It kind of looks like Aang's about to be run over by a giant scoop of caramel ice cream.

Toph is such an interesting mishmash of bluntness and emotional intelligence. I don't think I've seen a character like that before.

Zuko being self aware for once! Everything always does explode in his face. Except when he's being the Blue Spirit. Seems he's more capable then.

It's a tragedy that this boy wasn't around for the emo movement. He would have single-handedly sustained Hot Topic.

Zuko going "WHAT TURMOIL?!?!?" is like Katara going "I'M COMPLETELY CALM!!!!!" last episode. Also got a laugh out of me.

"I'm as proud as ever." OF WHAT?!?!? What could he possibly be proud of? He's a homeless fugitive with a stolen horse bird and a half-dead uncle that he can't even properly brew tea for. The self-delusion is strong.

Is pride the source of shame? Honest question, I don't know.

There's a surprising variety of trees in this part of the Earth Kingdom. Where Zuko and Iroh are there are fluffly hardwoods, probably deciduous; Toph's training ground is ringed by cartoon pines.

This whole bit is too cute for words.

"Now come back boomerang" This is a training episode, it's not supposed to be this funny!

Are there voice acting awards? Like voice acting oscars? Sokka's actor needs one. Or several.

I should have waited to answer the ask about airbenders and just copy pasted Iroh's speech here. Except for the water = change bit. That doesn't make sense.

What can I possibly say about Iroh's speech? It's the thesis for this show in a single paragraph.

Pretty.

Are characters' eyes a different shape this episode? Aang's eyes change colour all the time, but everyone's eyes seem more cat-like.

I do love me some constructive bullying.

Sokka is so refreshingly self-aware while still totally oblivious. He is meat and sarcasm, but he's so much more!

"Have you got any meat?" He said that in an Irish accent.

"You're gonna pull my fingers off and I don't think the rest of me is coming!" Do you ever come across a sentence that is so obviously an innuendo that your brain trips over itself trying to decipher it?

Sokka's hair must be so fluffy. It's got so much volume.

Why can't he go get Toph? I think being stuck in a hole outranks avoiding an awkward encounter.

FOO FOO CUDDLYPOOPS

"You must not let the lightning pass through your heart, or the damage could be deadly." Foreshadowing?

Today in 'things Zuko thinks it's acceptable, nay, expected, for parental figures to do' - attempted murder as a teaching method! What went on in that palace?

Is this the closest Sokka's come to dying?

He's earthbending the air! Doing air but earthlike. You know what I mean.

I thought she was levitating.

Toph is so smart. She does the airbender thing and comes at the problem from a different angle. Telling Aang to stand up for himself doesn't work? Fine. Let's bully him into standing up for himself. And it works!

This episode's MVP is Sokka's patience.

"You tried the positive reinforcement, didn't you?" uhhhhh sure!

Appa getting vengeance for Sokka. Nice.

Theatre kids.

I wish Zuko would just have the breakdown he's obviously hurtling towards so we can get started on the rebuilding arc. Every time I think he's a rock bottom, he keeps digging.

Luten is Katara. Let's not read too far into that one.

Final Thoughts

I defy any episode from this point on to fulfill the Beat Up Sokka Quota as thoroughly as this one did.

In a lesser show, the 'Aang learns earthbending episode' would have had Aang & Toph as the A-plot, and Sokka & Katara doing something completely unrelated as a b-plot, and probably no Zuko at all. Sokka does have his own thing going on this episode, but the fact that they managed to weave in both water tribe siblings so organically is so satisfying. Of course a team member struggling to learn a new skill would seek out his friends. Of course his friends are in the area, observing the lesson to varying degrees. It feels so much more real to have the characters who aren't 'useful' that episode still there, rather than conveniently absent.

Zuko was very Zuko this episode. He's correct that he needs more training for his inevitable next encounter with Zuko jr., but Iroh is also correct that Zuko is a bundle of issues held together by a different bundle of issues. Not to jinx it, but I thought I detected a hint of self-awareness from Zuko this episode, although it seems to have occurred despite his best efforts to suppress it.

Iroh's Zuko-wrangling skills were sharp this episode, despite being injured. And his wisdom was off the charts. Zuko was also not as annoying as I usually find him, and unlike in Zuko Alone where I found his quieter self to be out of character, it fit this episode. Maybe he's turned over a new, quieter, leaf? I loved "she's crazy and she needs to go down" both as a joke and as a statement. Shared blood doesn't trump someone's actions, and I'm glad to see a show meant for kids acknowledge that. Although, given that this show has no problem depicting objectively BAD parents and families, I can't say I'm surprised.

In a testament to Jack de Sena's skill, Sokka get a soliloquy this episode and pulls it off flawlessly. Kudos to the animation team for making Sokka's face fit the words so well. Double kudos for whoever had the balls to approve 'stick Sokka in a hole and put an apex predator on his head to force self-reflection' as a plotline.

There was a lot of exposition from a lot of different characters this episode, but it's mostly unnoticeable. It just makes sense that that's what they would be talking about at that point in time.

I think I said it above, but I'll say it again: the worldbuilding in this show is phenomenally well done. How do I know this? Because I was able to construct most of Iroh's monologue before watching this episode, just by paying attention. This show rewards focus and attentiveness. (Almost) nothing that Iroh said was not something the audience has already observed for themselves. Not heard, but observed. That 'show, don't tell' thing.

This episode was way funnier than it needed to be too. Not just the obvious stuff like *inhales*

FOO FOO CUDDLYPOOPS

but tiny one-liners buried mid-conversation and character interactions too. Momo turning into a reed didn't have to be there, but it was, and it was funny. It wasn't exactly restful, but it was a relief to have an episode that really didn't move around after The Chase.

What I like most about this episode was that it went farther than it had to. This was a training episode. It could have been just training. Anyone familiar with training episodes would expect just training, and be satisfied with just training. But Avatar said 'nope, we'll do better than that' and organically incorporated a heap of character stuff, worldbuilding from multiple perspectives, humour, multiple characters undergoing self-reflection, the next step in the domestication of Zuko, what I'm hoping wasn't a heap of foreshadowing, and pretty backgrounds as the cherry on top. They didn't have to go so hard, but Avatar always goes hard. I like that.

[thescarletnargacuga]

Maybe something spooky for September?

Like... Genuine fear.

Caine makes a new adventure for the gang, but it ends up taking in things that are... Just too real...

P.s: Showtime?

-that one paper bird

A/N: spooky season is upon us! Special thanks to @13piecebucket for helping me brainstorm this!!

NIGHTMARE'S END

A DIGITAL CIRCUS ONESHOT

WARNING: body horror, swearing,

~~~

"Welcome back, adventurers!" Caine hovered over the Circus cast. "Hope you had fun today!"

The group looked amongst themselves with collective disinterest. Pomni spoke up. "Actually, Caine, this one was a bit...meh."

Caine was visibly taken aback.

"Yeah, we got bored more than half way through." Jax agreed. "The cartoon physics and faceless NPCs are a bit old hat at this point."

"What he means is we think more realism would suit the adventures better." Pomni corrected. "The immersion still isn't that immersive."

"Doesn't help that we all look like cartoon characters." Gangle quietly added.

Caine rapped his fingers against the shaft of his cane. "Very well. If realism is what you want, then realism is what you'll get. At least, to the best of my ability. Rest up! Tomorrow will be a big one!" He blips away.

"You three should be ashamed of yourselves." Ragatha scolded. "I'm sure he's already doing all he can."

"I don't really care, I was just going along with Pomni." Jax put his hands in his pockets and walked away.

"Hey!" Pomni stomped her foot. "It was ZOOBLE'S idea we say something!"

"Don't drag me into this. I just said the adventure was stupid. All of them are." Zooble said as they walked away.

Pomni groaned. "Whatever. Guess we'll have a real adventure tomorrow. See how that turns out." She went to bed almost immediately, sleep called to her like never before. Her one escape from this digital nightmare.

~

Pomni woke to the smell of smoke. She winced as she sat up on a hard, uncomfortable surface. She blinked, finding herself in a small, dark room that has no familiar shapes. "Huh...? Why am I not in my-!!" She gaped at the sight of a smoldering computer atop a desk next to her.

Pomni stood to get a closer look. The electronic remains glowed faintly in the only light source in the room, a street lamp coming through a half shaded window. She jumped when she heard shuffling behind her.

Five figures of varying size stand up from the floor, the voices familiar. "Ugh, my head." "Where are we?" "Why is it so dark?"

"Guys?" Pomni asked. "What's happening? OH MY GOSH!" She pointed at a tall man with blond hair, staring right at her. The man turned to see what Pomni was pointing at.

"What? What is it?"

"Kinger?" Pomni couldn't believe it. She looked at the other people in the room. Humans. All of them. She looked at her own hands. Human hands with five fingers splayed out in front of her. "We're...we- no, this isn't possible. I'm dreaming! I have to be. I fell asleep and woke up here! I-"

Pomni froze when an androgenous person with pink hair slapped her across the face. "Did that feel real?"

Pomni felt her face. "OW! That was uncalled for! I really felt that. Oh my god." She looked back at the destroyed computer. "Caine...he must of blown all the hardware trying to make the game more real. I didn't think he'd... oh no."

"WHO CARES! WE'RE OUT!!" Celebrate a young man with a huge grin.

"Are we really sure? Really really?" A woman with red curls asked.

"Fuck if I know." The person with pink hair stopped and seemed stunned by they're own ability to curse. "Holy shit." They gasped, a huge smile growing on their face. "ASS! TITS! DICK! CUNT! SHIT! MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Do you really need to shout?" A timid woman asked, covering her ears.

"YES, I DO! WE'RE OUT!!"

~

The six made their way out of the empty office building. Cool night air grazed their faces as they took in their surroundings. They were in a town. A real town with streetlights and parked cars and a distant blinking traffic light. The street was lined with closed businesses. Not another soul in sight.

"What time do you think it is?" The timid woman asked.

"There!" The woman with red curls pointed at a scrolling LED sign in front of a bank. "3:00 am. No wonder things are so quiet. What do we do now? It's been so long... I don't even remember where we are."

"I guess we walk until we find somebody." Pomni shrugged. "There's gotta be at least a cop or something out at this hour."

"Oh yeah, and what do we tell them? Help, police! We've been kidnapped by a sentient AI and we just got away! Yeah, I bet that'll go over real well." The young man with the wide grin snarked.

"They could at least help us get out bearings." Pomni said.

They walked past quiet buildings, feeling a bit out of place on the empty street. Eventually, finding a sign that said Welcome to Brook Haven, the loveliest place in Maine.

"Well, that's a start." Said the woman with the curls. "Do you remember much about Maine, Pomni?"

"I don't think so, but I'm sure if we keep looking, we'll find someone who does. And, you don't have to keep calling me Pomni. My name is...my name..."

Everyone stopped.

Pomni's eyes widened as she searched her head. "I don't remember...I should remember. Right? Do any of you remember??"

"Oh no! You don't think the mind wipe was permanent, do you??" Panicked the timid woman.

"I don't know!" Pomni clutched her head and started to pace. She faced a store window and her blood went cold. Before her wasn't the reflection of a human woman, but of a cartoonish jester staring wide eyed at her. Pomni could feel the air in her lungs cease. "We're still in the game."

The shrill scream of a siren tore through the night. Everyone covered their ears, but they could still feel the siren vibrating their very beings. A billowing thick grey fog rolled into the streets. It cloaked everything from sight, the town being swallowed whole.

The group backed up against one another, being surrounded by the intense fog. Pomni was back to back with the tall blonde man, but she nearly fell backwards when he was violently pulled into the mist. "Kinger!"

Next was Ragatha. Something in the mist grabbed her leg and she was dragged off screaming. Then Gangle. Then Zooble.

"Screw this!" Jax ran off in a random direction, but didn't get far before he too screamed bloody murder.

Pomni was left alone in the quickly shrinking pocket of visibility. Her heart pounded. The only place left to go was the store behind her. She tried the door. Locked. She banged on the window. It held firm.

Clicking and skittering came from the fog. Creatures beyond her sight and comprehension were moving about, taunting her. A thorned tentacle whipped out at Pomni, but she ducked and it smashed through the store window.

Thinking quickly, Pomni vaulted through the broken window and made a run for it. Creatures screeching and crashing through the building behind her as fog poured in.

As she ran through a back door and down an alley, she saw a leas pipe sticking out of a dumpster. She grabbed it and kept running.

A clawed hand dug into the ground next to her and a black creature with colorful eyes lunged at Pomni. She batted at the creature as hard as she could, bursting it's bright pink eye. It screamed and backed away.

Pomni kept running, zig zagging down semi clear streets. Something with wings swooped down at her and she tuck and rolled. The flying abstraction crash landed where she had been. She didn't give it a chance to strike again, she beat it over the head with her pipe until it stopped thrashing.

"What the FUCK is all of this!?" Pomni growled and kept moving as more moving shadows in the mist closed in on her. She needed to get indoors. She ran until a large brick building was in sight. The sign out front read: Town Hall.

Pomni threw herself through the double front doors and slammed them shut behind her. She leaned back against the doors, panting and gasping for air. She was sweating, her legs shook with fatigue. She still felt real, even if she knew the truth.

"You're still alive. Good." Caine's voice echoed through the building.

"CAINE!? CAINE, YOU BASTARD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE OTHERS!!"

"Such language. And you all wonder why the censor is so necessary. You can't control your tongues."

"WHERE ARE THE OTHERS??" Pomni screamed as she marched down the hall, following the source of Caine's voice down one hall and then the next.

"Let's not worry about them. You're the only one who made it this far. The rest have failed."

"Failed? YOU DON'T FAIL AN ADVENTURE!"

"In a realistic one, you do. In real life, there are clear cut winners and losers. Tell me, which one are you?"

Pomni could hear the grin in his condescending tone. "Whichever gets this over with." She gripped her pipe harder.

Caine's laughter filled the halls. "A winner, then? That remains to be seen."

Pomni followed the voice to a set of grand wood doors. A Mayor's Office plague on the wall. She kicked open the doors, ready to swing. There were no monsters, no mist. Caine was at the end of the large room by the desk. His back was to her, looking out the large windows. "Beautiful, isn't it? Dare I say, this town has been my greatest creation."

"You lied! You made us believe we were out! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" Pomni shouted as she marched forward.

"Lied?" Caine turned towards Pomni. "I gave you exactly what you wanted. Realism. I made it so real, I even found a purpose for the old exit." He chuckled. "It was amusing seeing all of you celebrate. Shame the fun had to be spoiled." His body jerked as he stepped forward.

Pomni stopped, holding her pipe in front of her. She watched in horror as Caine's chest started to split apart, black teeth folding out at her. His arms lengthened and bent at unnatural angles. "What- what's happening?"

"The most realistic part..." His voice deepened and garbled. "Fear." His eyes split apart and changed colors. His suit tore and his spin jutted out with spikes. Her grew and grew in height, his teeth growing sharp and his jaw extended to the ceiling. Multiple arms broke the floor apart as he approached. "Are...you...afraid?"

Pomni brought the pipe back like a bat. "Terrified. But I'm still going to kick your ass." She charged without hesitation, war in her eyes. Caine's monstrous form bared down on her. She struck out at the eye in the center of his gaping jaw.

The pipe's collision creates a spark bright enough to blind Pomni. The whole room goes white. She feels weightless, like she was in the void again. Then, in a near instant, she fell on her back. When the light fades, she's back in the Circus. The obnoxiously saturated bright colors sting her eyes.

Around are the cast members, all in varying states of shock. Zooble stays on the ground, staring at the vaulted ceiling and trembling. Gangle is in hysterics, muttering and whimpering to herself while crying uncontrollably. Kinger is pale and sitting in the fetal position, his eyes wider and more bloodshot than normal. Ragatha is stone cold silent and unmoving, holding her head in her hands.

Jax Is the only one other than Pomni to get to his feet. "That wasn't so- bleeeeegh!" He doubles over and vomits.

Pomni stares at her gloved hands, already missing her realistic skin. A slow clap gets her attention. She turns to see Caine hovering, lowering himself to her level.

"Well done, Pomni. Well done, indeed. You are today's winner. Being the only one to successfully find and defeat me. You faced fear and conquered it. How's that for realism?"

"Wait... If at least one of us had to find and defeat you... What if none of us did?" Pomni asked.

Caine smiled and shrugged. "Guess we'll never know. So, 1-10?"

The cast stayed where they were, unresponsive. Pomni smiled at Caine. "Ten. Solid ten. That was the biggest thrill I've had yet."

"Yet." Caine's grin widened.

~~~

HAPPY SPOOKY SEASON, EVERYONE! 🎃💀🔮🕷️🦇

[oshinohoshi]

What do Ai's words in ch 154 say about her?

I thought I said all I wanted to say about the Hikaru/Ai breakup in this post but I want to comment on something major I glossed over: Ai bringing up Taiki, and therefore Hikaru's sexual assault, before she left.

I've had to mull it over because (without some of the context provided below) it's just so out of character. Ai started her breakup speech with "being with you forever is too much for me," followed that up by stating that Hikaru's child born from molestation was too tough, and ended with "I can't love you." Talk about psychological damage. If I was him, I'd be curled up on the floor sobbing. I'm sure he was.

Just look at the below panel. Fifteen years later, he framed Taiki's birth as something he did. That's devastating.

BUT I'm coming back to critically alter this post (sorry to anyone who liked/reblogged it already) because the lovely @aihoshiino provided some important context about Ai's words being vaguer and less harsh in Japanese. I have pasted this as bullet points at the end of this post and it's far more important than anything I have to say, so if you want to stop here and just read that, I highly encourage it.

To summarize: In English, it sounds more like Ai blamed Hikaru for Taiki, whereas in Japanese it's vaguer and not as cruel. Which isn't to say Ai did nothing wrong when she glibly walked away, but it's far more in line with her character.

But there's still the question of why say this at all. Didn't Ai realize that "I can't love you" was enough? Why bring up the worst thing that ever happened to him, the very thing that broke him so badly she felt he couldn't raise their kids?

She may have wanted him to hate her, thereby setting him free of the supposed burden of herself and her pregnancy. It was also a convenient lie. Unfortunately, it was one Hikaru easily swallowed because that was already how he felt about himself.

She said in the DVD that she thought he'd be OK once she was gone. I do wonder if she really thought that or just hoped so. After all, she later felt that a whopping 15 years later he might still be struggling. Either way, it worked to chase him away.

Did Ai blithely say something hurtful and uncalled for that caused lasting damage? Yes. Was she a teenager who couldn't communicate her emotions, ran away from conflict to protect herself, and had a traumatic childhood that influenced her developmentally? Also yes. Not to mention, she was dealing with an emotionally dependent boy and an unplanned pregnancy. It's not an excuse, but it's an explanation.

Even if we were to ignore the subtleties I mentioned and view this in the worst possible light, saying a horrible thing you don't mean doesn't make you a horrible person.

Hikaru gets Ai's characterization mostly right in the below panel but he's wrong if he thinks Ai's cruel words were an accurate representation of her.

Finally, I think getting hung up on what we, as people who don't have the lived experience of Ai, would do in her shoes is missing the point. The idea isn't to judge Ai as innocent or not innocent. Instead, we are invited to see that Ai was a loving person but she was also human and humans sometimes fuck up badly.

A good chunk of the manga focuses on the complex relationships between characters as well as their relationships with their inner selves. This chapter touches on both. Hikaru misunderstood Ai's intentions and Ai failed to understand her own feelings for him or what to do about it. The reader, meanwhile, if they were clinging to any misconceptions of Ai as some kind of saint, is forced to reconcile with who Ai really was.

The below is the context I mentioned from @aihoshiino. I'm just gonna paste this word for word from Claire:

Ai's words aren't quite as pointedly cruel in Japanese. Her line in Japanese that mangaplus translates as "I can't even, that's too tough, I can't bear it" is '無理無理、流石に それは キツいって、背負え ないよ!` Which is more like, "No way, no way, that's too hard, it's too much to carry"

Importantly, she does not specify who cannot carry this weight

The only time she specifically talks about herself is when she says `子供も･･･うーん 私じゃ難しいかな` which mangaplus tled as "about the baby, it's difficult for me too" and ig that's not WRONG but the tone is kind of off. In Japanese there's more of the sense that she's saying that she, herself, is not up to the task, that she's lacking, she wouldn't be able to do it VS the situation (and Kamiki with it) being in of itself the problem

Basically mangaplus's TL is not incorrect in strict text but does kind of mistranslate the spirit of the exchange imo

It makes Ai more pointedly cruel and self-centred whereas the Japanese text imo is more in line with the thoughtless, innocent cruelty she hurt Nino with

The wording of the Japanese text makes it clear that this was a misunderstanding and Kamiki took the worst possible interpretation of it because he hates himself

That's why Aqua frames Kamiki as being punished for "not understanding her"

Because if he really, truly understood Ai like he said, why would he be so comfortable assuming for nearly 20 years that she would have meant something that cruel?

Thanks Claire!! Saving the fandom one translation at a time.

[googledetective]

my thoughts on the new episode as always, as I am currently losing my shit lol. I know a lot of people dislike me after last ep when I spoke up about my thoughts, but this time I'm ready to be more mature about it.

1. I love the Hu argue uhhh thingy! I forgot what it's called ngl! I love her and Nico's new sprites too, they were really all amazing and conveyed so much emotion!

And then Hu said this 💀

genuinely insane analogy to make here. I'm sorry, but that was actually insanely uncalled for imo.

2. I think everyone forgot Hu's custom weapon is wire, (if you realized and predicted this, huge props to you), and I did not expect Nico to try and frame Hu for murder like that. NicoHu divorce arc when??? Just kidding, but they're much more cruel then I originally thought. I completely understand trauma from not being accepted as the person you are which was likely in the form of bullying/abuse, but I was genuinely surprised that they really try and murdered Ace just because they didn't like him and they didn't want to go through that again. Very interesting. I also feel very bad for Hu, because she's poured her heart into trying to protect Nico, and even though her methods are EXTREMELY flawed, it must hurt to know someone you really tried to help would try to frame you for murder. This makes me wonder if Nico felt Hu was a threat to their sense of self like Ace was, if they were going to try and pin a murder on her. I'm glad Charles and J told Hu to shut up though, because she was becoming unreasonable. I really hope things turn out the best for her though, because it's clear she's coming from a place of kindness, even if her kindness is mostly self-serving.

3. As much as I don't really like the guy, I'm very glad to have seen Ace pop off. Everyone has treated him like shit, and even if he's treated everyone like shit back, he did not deserve to be almost murdered and then for people to just not care. I really hope Ace ends up making a friend if he isn't the killer, because he really deserves someone to care about him the way mostly everyone in the cast already has someone.

4. They both make very good points here. I think Ace deserves an apology, but a real one.

5. "of course I regret doing it, I'm not Levi" - Nico

THATS ACTUALLY INSANE- but that may be my favorite line of the ep. I'm glad Nico regrets the crime though, because I was scared for awhile they didn't and there might be another incident of the same thing again. This makes me think they won't try and kill again, but it's drdt so you never know, and I think they're a definite threat if they get provoked to that point so easily.

6. I feel so bad for Rose, but let me say, dare I say, I think Whit asking if Rose is okay might've been the sweetest thing Ive ever seen. A lot of people tend to forget that Whit is actually very compassionate, so I'm glad to see that part of him shine through again. Rose is so human, and I think she may be the most realistic character I've ever seen portrayed in a fangan. A lot of characters are able to just get back up after a murder, but she's stuck, and I think I would be the same way. Unfortunately there's zero mental health professionals (obviously, cause they all need to be in a ward) in drdt, but I hope that she maybe can come to cope in a healthier way with what's going on around her, because she doesn't deserve this mess. I didn't actually realize before that the cast had put her on a bit of a pedestal due to her amazing memory, but it makes sense. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I hope that Rose comes to peace with the turpentine and the tape thing because it really isn't her fault and that she can get help for her trauma due to Min and Xander, and Teruko's almost death. No matter how much people expect her to memorize a crime scene, she's human, and we all take things at much different paces.

7.

Hey David, didn't Whit teach us that trauma is a serious thing? You know I've been defending this guy a bit because of how he helped Eden and how I think he's trying to do what's right, but NEVERMIND. Because what the actual fuck is wrong with him to say something as messed up as these two statements. Rose and Arturo do not owe you anything, and they deserve to heal healthy, and at their own pace.

8. Teruko defending Rose was not in my ch2 trial bingo card, but oh my god, that really is sweet. I think Teruko really has started to change from talking with Rose.

I'm running out of images so I can't include her monologue, but it genuinely makes me happy she's starting to get some sort of character development. She really deserves it, and Charles really deserved being so fucking right about being social, lol. Also Teruko thanking Rose with that genuine smile on her face- brought me to tears. I hope they become friends :)

9. Ace and Eden, huh? To be honest, I'm completely torn and I can't see it being either one of them, but then again, I can't see it being anyone. I know so many people are complaining about not having a culprit reveal this ep, but I'm fine. I could wait another year and a half for the reveal. Actually, I don't think we need one at all. Maybe the true drdt is the friends we made along the way. Maybe it's better to choose delusion that nobody could've done it than it to have been Ace or Eden. Maybe, I killed Arei.

(I'm not that smart so I don't think I should be making killer theories, lol. I think it's safe to say I should stick to memes.)

10.

LMAOOOO. She right though.

11. "It pains me to come to Ace's defense" - David

another laughable moment, but a win for the Acevid shippers, I guess. I don't think David was lying though, and it was my suspicion all along that he had seen the body before anyone. I'm not very smart so I'm a bit confused as to whether later they're saying David actually did see her body (which is weird bc he'd have an alibi), or if he thinks someone else might've seen it and wanted to include that as a possibility.

12.

Teruko handled this whole situation super well, I was very impressed with her. Obviously you can't rule Eden out as the killer and Teruko explained that, but she was so compassionate and understanding about it that it made me cry. I never thought I'd say this, but here's a Teruko W. As for Eden pleading... I wish I could say more and I'm sure I'll be able to later, but it's just so likely she could be the culprit that I can't take anything she says at face value rn, and I was having trouble empathizing with her. Of course that's just my take, and I have already chatted with others who felt the whole scene was just a heartwarming experience, and that makes me really happy. This being said, the fact Teruko immediately turned to Ace as her main suspect TOOK ME OUT. I feel so bad for him he has literally done nothing but be suspicious to warrant this, while Eden is at the same level of suspicion. I really like that Teruko is playing favorites now, because Eden's been so good to her all this time.

13. I forgot to include David trying to get Teruko to not trust others!!! Shit!!!

Is that seriously how he plans to end the kg.. I can kinda see what he's going for bc so far the trope is in most danganronpa that you need to trust others to live and be fulfilled (not saying drdt is gonna follow that trope though). Hm.

Bro is actually down horrendous for Teruko though 😭

tierlist after watching this ep (kill me now)

[elvisabutler]

hiii! absolutely loooove your writing!!

was wondering if you’d be willing to write something about either Elvis or Austin and he helps reader when she’s on her period and super hormonal. like maybe she’s cranky and horny??

if not, totally fine!! my periods been vicious this month and would love to see how you think one of them would react to it!! thanksss!

crimson

summary: you are having a bit of a rough go around this time with your period and your boyfriend- well he just wants to help. fandom: austin butler rating: m pairing: austin butler x plus sized female reader word count: 1432 warning: oral ( f receiving ). implied potential p in v sex ( future ). period sex. blood. descriptions of period cramps. author’s note: so hi anon. i have no idea how you feel about me making this a plus sized reader and having this be a period sex smut but at the very least i hope you enjoy. but also thank you for the compliment about my writing! i went for austin because well- because @butlersxbirdy helped me choose and because truly i have been lacking in my austin content lately. if the mood strikes i might write something come- well probably when my period comes next with them like in the damn bubble bath or curled up in bed. also you don't have to read it this way but in my head for some reason- i kind of saw this as being in the same universe as pop goes the bump. don't ask me why but ya know. also moodboard is not indicative of the color of the reader's skin. i just have wanted to use the beanie and austin pics since i saw them.

Your best friends today have been your bed, a heating pad, copious amounts of chocolate and a sweatshirt that Austin wore despite being far too big on him and making him look like a very tall Ariana Grande. All in all, you've had worse periods with less assistance than you do now. You've had worse periods alone with nothing to comfort you. Sure, you're technically alone right this second, but according to Austin there was something about the way you answered the phone, all vicious snapping and vitriol spewed from your lips that clued him in to the possibility that maybe- just maybe you might be on your period. Maybe you could use some company in your time of need and pain.

The thing is you and Austin pride yourself on being honest with each other, telling each other when something bothers you or when something doesn't work clothes wise or actions wise. It's how you can tolerate the gossip of him with costars and the gossip of people thinking there's no way he'd be with you. You know there's every way he would be with you because he tells you why he's with you. It's easy to realize and understand. The downside to this is that sometimes he forgets that there's a time for tact and little white lies. Case in point the exact words that leave his mouth when he opens the bedroom door to find you in a blanket burrito and with Bridgerton playing on your television.

"You look like shit." He murmurs, leaning against the door as his eyes trail over your body.

You wait a moment before you respond, wondering if he honestly just said that before you finally glare at him. You like to think if it could the look would murder him. "Great boyfriend you are, asshole. I feel like shit so if it feels like shit, smells like shit and looks like shit, it might just be shit."

Austin for his part winces at your words, realizing that what he said was uncalled for and probably did more harm than good even though he had meant it to be playful. It takes him a second to stop leaning against the door and slowly walk over to your shared bed, carefully as if he thought you were a caged animal ready to strike and kill him. "Or it might just be a woman experiencing a very rough week," he states calmly, as the bed dips with his weight next to you. "Taken your pain meds?"

"More than my liver would have liked me to." You answer, the words coming out as a bit of a whine as another cramp seizes and twists at your insides. "It hasn't helped that much. They're normally-"

Your eyes shut from the pain as it cuts off your words and Austin finds himself pulling you into his arms, rubbing your back in some form of comfort. "They're not normally this bad, I know baby."

"I woke up at 4AM like this. I'm tired, I hurt, I want to eat my weight in every food known to man and I'm-" You stop yourself and feel your blood rush to your ears and head in embarrassment as you shift a little next to him, trying to find some relief. He doesn't need to hear the last part, that's too much to ask of him or anyone.

Austin watches you, watches how you are on a roll explaining what's wrong until you get to the last bit of what's bothering you. He notices how you stop and start to shift against the bed a little in a way he only knows you to when you're- well- when you're feeling horny. Ever the actor though, he manages to school his face into something that doesn't give away that he might have a clue as to what's going on. His hand moves from your back to your hips, rubbing in a motion that's meant to be comforting but that he also know has a tendency to drive you wild. "You're what? Does it have something to do with how you're moving against the bed?"

A breath catches in your throat as you feel the warmth of the embarrassment you feel flood your body. Of course Austin would catch on, he knows you. He knows how you are and knows every single one of your tells. "Austin- Don't, it's nothing, if you're not going to be helpful or comforting just-"

Your words are stopped by a shaky exhale as you feel Austin's lips on your neck, trailing down to your chest. "I want to be helpful and comforting. I want you to feel better, babe," he whispers against your skin before pulling away slightly as his hand moves to cup your breast, noting how you hiss in equal parts pleasure and pain. "Too much?"

"Just the nipple. Not the whole thing." You answer, grinding against the bed a little. "They hurt too much to be touched."

A hum leaves Austin's lips as he keeps up his work, his thumb flicking at your nipple, sending shocks down to your core. Between your legs is throbbing not only because of the pain your period has wrought but because of how that simple touch has your clit aching for attention. Attention you're praying that Austin will provide it as he moves to be on the floor by the bed and tries to pull you to the very edge. It's a position he's been in once before, it's a position you've seen him in multiple times since you first started dating and yet in this moment you want to keep your legs shut, trying to keep your desires to yourself before you hear a chuckle. "Babe. Let me, please. Consider it my last ditch attempt to make you feel better."

It's as if those words are the magic ones to hear as you open up your legs, shivering at Austin's touch on your thighs. At his subtle squeezing of the plump fat of them and at how he takes your underwear and your shorts off with an ease that makes you love him that much more. Your hands drift to his hair, messing with it, allowing your fingers to grasp at his locks and yank just slightly earning a groan from him. Your thighs tighten around his head reflexively as he inches closer and closer to your cunt and yet he still manages to make his way there. His tongue laps at your clit, earning a sharp cry from you at the new sensation. You swear you feel his lips curl into a smirk as he continues a soft and slow onslaught, licking gently while stoking the fire of arousal within you. It makes your stomach clench in a way that is a little painful but feels like it's relaxing at the same time. It's a clench that promises relief at the end instead of an unending deluge of pain. Your chest heaves as Austin takes a hand and moves to play with your nipples once again and you feel something- you feel what you think is an orgasm start to build within you as you try to use your grip to pull him away. Only to have him shake his head and take your clit between his lips and just suck at it.

That action, that simple action that normally you detest has your thighs tightening so much around his head that you're liable to hurt him as you come, your fingers yanking at his hair and a low moan leaving your body as the coil of tension inside you and the sheer clench and twist of your insides relaxes at least for now. You try to catch your breath and relax your legs as Austin pulls away from between your legs and continues to play with your nipple almost absentmindedly.

His mouth is red, almost like messed up lipstick and you can't help but feel your cunt clench a little in want for more. The two of you stare at each other before he smiles and raises his eyebrows. "Better?"

Your eyes take in how his pupils are flushed and how his cock is pressing against his pants and you can't help but lick your lips and grind against your bedsheets once more. "I think I might need one more- dose, Austin. Just to be safe."

A smirk crosses his lips as he moves back to his former position, ready to give you what you ask for. "Just one more. Then we'll see if you need something stronger."

taglist: @ab4eva, @blurredcolour, @butlersxbirdy, @precious-little-scoundrel, @eliseinmemphis, @prompted-wordsmith, @lookingforrainbows, @araxw, @thatbanditqueen, @ellie-24, @austinbutlersgirl67, @heartbrake-hotel, @ccab, @18lkpeters, @slutforsomegoodlettuce, @dkayfixates, @kendralavon7, @chasingwildflowers, @slowsweetlove, @kxnnxy, @meetmeatyourworst, @purejasmine copy and pasted from the last austin fic, sup y'all, feel free to tell me if you don't want to be tagged, etc etc.

[jmdbjk]

Bangtan weekly report

Lordt, what a week, what a month, what a year? It's September, we're on the downhill slide.

I've been busy, y'all. You know, life happens and all that crap we say when we have to focus on stuff that's not as fun as staring at the latest naked Bangtan pics... anyway... there is A LOT to process, A LOT to even sit down and catch up on.

Let's break it down shall we?

It was JK's b-day and he first tried to TikTok live us and you know, I hope he can't figure it out to his satisfaction because there's no replay and no translations so fuck TikTok and I mean that in a nice way. Thank god for Armys who record and translate.

And he dropped this tiny but significant TMI:

We know he's building that big whatever it is. It will be a while before he leaves his current residence...or? What? Moving elsewhere until he enlists? He mentioned in one of his more recent past lives that he had to clean up some of his junk in his apartment... soooo.... hmmm....

Also, this:

Acting research? I'm loving the sound of whatever that is.

Thankfully he came to visit us on Weverse live as well, did a few card tricks and cut it short, one of the shortest lives he's done in years and years? Were the aces a hint? Or just part of his magic trick?

Adorable goofball. By the way, the subs are up on this live.

He was out and about before the live, taking pics on the street, he's said he doesn't mind at all, running into fans in public and saying hello.

It's the people who claim to be fans who stalk him and show up uninvited to places where he's trying to live his life in private. Whoever you all are, I'll speak for Kookie. Y'all suck.

In Busan, when he was with his idol friends, they were asked if they were who they were by the restaurant employee and they tried to deny it. That should be a big hint to leave them alone.

Kookie shared a video on his TikTok in solidarity and support of RM speaking out about the uncalled for hate that came RM's way after he posted that song on his Instagram story.

You know... there's been quite a lot of discourse lately about culturally sensitive topics. Tae's "gaffe" and this song that RM shared... I think if you felt offended or uncomfortable when you saw those things happen, those feelings are your own and 100% valid.

Being of Japanese descent, through my life, it has made me cringe when I hear people call stuff "Jap crap" or just yesterday, a canvasser for a political candidate asked me if I was from around here... like... if I was blonde and blue-eyed would they have asked me that? You know? I was speaking to them exactly like I speak here, fully fluent in (Southern U.S. redneck) English because that's my only language (sadly, no thanks to mom and dad because I did not learn Japanese or French). But I don't get obsessed or angry or want to threaten anyone's careers or life. I don't even think about it. And I don't really hold it against people who are not aware of how they come across like that.

People are insensitive all the time without knowing it: asking a woman when they are due but she's not pregnant and maybe can't even have children... mentioning other culturally derogatory terms without realizing it (see "Jap crap" above), saying something looks "gay" like... ok what does that even mean?... you know what I'm saying? I use the term "spirit animal" all the time and someone DM'd me saying it was offensive. So we're all guilty.

I get it, we're all different in how we react. BUT MY FEELINGS ARE VALID TOO, AND MY REACTION IS MY OWN AND DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THE SAME AS YOURS TO YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE.

As I said, feelings are valid, and the members aren't perfect and it's okay to call them out on it. But the extra implication that was piled on Namjoon for that song rec crossed the line and he addressed it in his own live.

Exasperated he explained that it was just a song and that he knows exactly what everyone is saying, that he's a 30 year old man and can express himself freely. He said even if there will still be those who will accuse him of lying, he can't and won't lie to us.

I love him: "For ten years I've held things in my heart but nowadays I can't do that, I have to speak my truth. Believe my own words."

Before he got into it though he offended the mathematicians and then tried to back track (omg I'M JOKING ok?... unless someone got offended... omg, can we just chill?)

His 2-day old stubble and fuzzy headed self.

The obsession people have with their weight and their looks is mind-blowing. The way he's drilled in the comments on his face, his hair, about admitting he's tanning, how much he weighs, what he eats, he looks tired... This man has an IQ of 160 or whatever and people are worried about a mosquito bite on his forehead. The vapidness and shallow level of interaction in the comments knows no limit. But we've known that. Please, before commenting can people please make a list of things to speak on other than how they look?

He closed by saying to trust him, he'll always show us what's inside of him whether its his music or him as a human... life is a journey with a lot of obstacles, he's good and focusing on his own things and not on the bad energy. He is in such a good head space nowadays... love to see it.

Next up, Taehyungie-hyung...dis my fave pic out of everything I've seen so far:

I am not a fan of Tae in blonde hair, I've said that before. But this particular shot is stunning to me, the lighting and angle.

As you know, I've not paid as close attention to Tae. Honestly I've been waiting for him to share things during this solo time so I can get to know him better just like I did with the other members.

Up until now, everything he does seems superficial EXCEPT the deliberate soft reveal of his relationship with Jennie, which I hope they are doing well and navigating the shitty waters of having to be idols in a relationship.

But so far, its photo spread after photo spread and I'm just not into it. Yes, Tae is very photogenic. I'm sure V biases are over the moon. I'm happy for them! If it was Jimin you would be sick of me posting every photo, so I get it! But I was looking for something a little deeper from him.

So it was this Dingo show that his personality opened up a little to me somewhat... interacting with this Army who's dream is to become a Military Officer. She is the cutest thing, her reactions so genuine and I could feel her excitement and how she was overwhelmed at the end of their day together when she broke down. Girl was holding it in and living the life that day!!! Sooo happy she got to experience that!

And these pics are the cutest:

This one right above with her hands on his shoulders... such a precious memory. I am looking forward to hearing the rest of Tae's album. I'm sure I'll have things to say about it at that time.

And that brings me to Jimin. The jikook selca not withstanding, we haven't seen or heard from him in ages so after 2 months, 15 days, 23 hours, 8 minutes and some odd seconds (but who was counting? not me)... we finally see him again in person at a Dior event in Seoul.

He looked so good, except that tan leather coat reminded me of something 50s vintage, car coat over a sheath dress women wore in the springtime. He's small. Let's put a giant white garbage bag on him. Don't know what goes through their minds.

Dior creates some extraordinarily crafted pieces, but so far, I sometimes wonder if they've even bothered to look at any of Jimin's previous photo concepts for other various things. It's almost like they don't know how to dress him. That's just my personal opinion.

Anyway..AND THEN HE COMES LIVE!!! FINALLY!!!

Is that a Red Dragon keyboard he has in front of his computer? I don't really know anything about gaming stuff. And goodness...

He gets comfy by tying up those pants that look like four of him (or him and Kookie) could fit in there at the same time...

His eye crinkles... I don't care what people say about his beakie... I'm all about the eye smile and those eye crinkles that are going to get deeper with time.

Y'all, this is my bias...

That mood light of the realistic solar system makes Jungkookie's mood light look like child's play. But I see why his moons down his back look like they do.

I know some of the first translations say he called Jungkook for his birthday and he talked about wanting to live his 30s just as full as his 20s, and he's learning through his solo work that he has things to learn and he will improve and I just don't have enough or the right words to express how much I love and admire his perseverance and dedication to being the best at what he does and the best human he can be. I will do a full blog post when the official subs are ready later this week.

I don't know how this guy from the other side of the world got so completely under my skin:

I know there was a lot of other content that dropped that I didn't touch on but there aren't enough hours in my day to type it all up. I will just continue to watch and absorb as much as I can just like everyone else.

Jin and Hobi are still plugging away at their respective bases, I always pray for their safety and health while they are doing their duty. In a few months, Jin may show us what it will be like to celebrate birthdays while they are enlisted.

And Yoongi. We wait as the days tick by. We know its coming very soon. Holding my Yoongi bias friend's hand very tightly. We'll get through this together.

[princeasimdiya12]

Bucchigiri Finale Thoughts

So I watched Episode 12 earlier today and had some time to think things over. And unfortunately, I realized that I didn't like this episode very much. Granted there are a good amount of moments that I did enjoy and contributed well to the main themes of the series. But there were too many moments that I felt undercut my enjoyment of the show. So fair warning, a lot of what I have to say is fairly critical and kinda negative. If you agree or disagree with anything I've said here, feel free to reblog this with your own comments. And if you're not into negativity, feel free to ignore this.

But I will start by mentioning the things I did like.

Just like everyone and their gyoza-making mothers, I loved the final fight scenes. The choreography was well executed and I thought the animation was top notch, both when it came to Senya vs Ichiya and Arajin vs Matakara. I really liked how in depth they went with the fighting sequences and the dark colors fit really well with the tone of the drama of the scene. The emotional range between the fighters felt incredible; the actors truly gave it their all when going about their fights.

And the part with Arajin mustering the power to save Matakara was beautifully done. I was in awe when Arajin brought up how Matakara became the very monster he tried desperately to destroy which really got a crack on his defenses. The sequence of Arajin reaching out to Matakara's inner child to help him out of his despair was gorgeous. Especially since Ara-chan used the Friendship Stone both to help the inner child and later when telling his old friend that he's not alone anymore. That was really great and genuine character growth, especially since Arajin accepted that he was in the wrong for leaving him all the time.

And as I mentioned in an earlier post, I did love the first scene with Arajin meeting Matakara for the first time. But as a twist, it was Arajin who was inspired by Matakara's dedication to being a Honki Person and volunteered himself to train alongside his new friend. That was a great twist and it adds new depths to how Arajin was actually inspiried by his old friend and not the other way around like we believed for so long.

So those were the parts that I genuinely enjoyed. Now for the parts I didn't really like..

On one hand, while it is nice that Zabu wasn't brutally beaten to subconsciousness, I do kiinda wish that he did have to be hospitalized. It just feels so off-putting how he's relatively okay despite being brutally mauled by Matakara only a few hours ago. Especially since Marito and Kenichirou wound up in the hospital after losing to Matakara. Plus I feel like it undercuts the drama and severity of the situation by having Zabu be fine enough to look for Matakara. It doesn't help that he and Komao don't really do much apart from running around trying to find their friend.

Also, I hope I'm not the only one but did anyone else feel uncomfortable with this scene?

I understand that Mahoro did it in a desperate bid to bring her brother back but the way she described Kenichirou here was just... gross.

Not insane, not weird, not quirky, not even ridiculous.

It was just gross for me to see her dehumanize one of the few dark skinned characters on the show. Even if he's not black/black coded, it still rubs me the wrong way that she would say those things so casually. Especially since Japan can be really casual when it comes to making racist/offensive remarks to brown skinned people in it's media. Plus there are tons of other ways she could have referred to him without calling him a gorilla. Like meathead, blockhead, oaf, ogre. Any other insult could have worked and been more acceptable than the ape insult. And it's unfortunately consistent since she did call him a gorilla during the Gang War Arc.

And then there's this part...

I don't know if it was Mahoro's doing or if that's what the original nurses did, but it was just uncalled for. Both for the unspoken racism and for how it doesn't even apply to Kenichirou's character. Out of the three banchos, he's always been the least violent and was always shown to be tranquil and easy to work with, unlike Marito and Akutaro who were more unhinged, wild and violent in comparison. There shouldn't be any reason for him to behave so violently that the staff would resort to shackling him like an animal. Especially given how defeated he looked when Matakara beat him in a fight.

Another reason why I dislike this scene is because the characters involved (Mahoro, Marito, Kenichirou) do nothing to contribute to the final duel between Arajin and Matakara. None of these characters actually show up until the end when Matakara apologizes to everyone. You could have made it so that during the apology scenes, the two gang leaders could have shown up while covered in bandages or crutches. There really isn't a need to show us Marito waking up since we could get that later on in the end with Matakara apologizing to Siguma Squad.

The same can be argued for Zabu, Komao, Outa, Jabashiri and Hagure. Even though they spend most of their time hunting down Matakara and Arajin, they don't exactly contribute to the final duel or offer any words to the main heroes. They just show up and the duo resolve their problem like nothing.

Regarding Ichiya's secret of him dying, while it's not the worst reason for him to be so insistent on fighting Senya, I do wish there was more build up or at least some hints to it. It just feels like a random reason for why Ichiya developed his grudge against Senya. It's not the worst reason and it does make sense for why he wanted to die like a Honki Person instead of to a random illness, it just leaves a bad taste to how it happened to him out of randomness.

And wow, Arajin is never going to overcome the internet hating him for being a perverted simp mc.

In a way, it makes some sense since Arajin's character arc was never about respecting women or learning that there's other ways to be a man apart from stealing a girl's virginity. That was never the focus as the story wanted him to confront his mistake of abandoning his old friend and not running away from his problems. That said, this still won't look good for him since fans are going to be turned off of Bucchigiri because of his perversions and how the show doesn't encourage him to change.

And as I've come to realize, the show itself doesn't seem to mind with the characters not growing out of their negative vices. A critique I have is that the show doesn't go out of it's way to challenge the beliefs of these characters or push them to grow into better people. Arajin is perfectly okay with being rude to everyone while pursuing a girl just so he can lose his virginity to her, Mahoro continues to lust over her older brother and has no interest in anything else, Marito is still a bloodthirsty bad boy who lives and breathes fighting, Kenichirou doesn't mind repeating high school as long as he gets to run Minato Kai, even Yayako prefers to act like a bubbly airhead rather then act like a responsible and respectful adult. And even with Matakara's corruption arc, he doesn't really recognize how harmful his idolization of Arajin was since the focus was more on his loneliness and trauma of being alone. Maybe because I'm spoiled by Mob Psycho 100, but it saddens me to see how these characters don't grow into better people or make an effort to change themselves. Especially since there can be potential for all of them.

And while I'm glad that Arajin and Matakara were able to become friends again, it feels like a letdown that there's no build up to it. It just rushes straight to them becoming friends again without acknowledging their negative attributes. Th same with puppy boy getting everyone to just accept him with no repercussions or consequences. It feels like letdown as there were no serious consequences for his actions. Like he could just go on a despair-induced rampage again and they'll just keep accepting him. On paper it's rather wholesome, but it does feel contrived if everything just works out without problems or how Matakara doesn't need to work hard to earn their forgiveness. That would have been for a greater character moment and to show Matakara taking responsibility for his actions. But we never see Matakara doing that and him being accepted by the gang feels rather hollow. It's technically nice that he has his friends back and that SS won't have his heart on a stick, but it feels hollow.

Speaking of taking non-responsibilities and being accepted by the gangs, Akutaro is now back with the NG Boys and they're accepting of him?

I really do wish we could have had a scene that explains how the heck he was able to win back his old gang despite them professing that they weren't going to let him beat them around like before. It just feels offputting that Akutaro is back in charge and has their respect with zero explanation or even any build up to it. He spent all his time trying out different jobs and activities but nothing to suggest that he wants to go back to his old club again.

Not to mention that this is still bad news for Minato Kai since Akutaro still has his hatred for Kenichirou and still longs to destroy him. And given how he also hasn't grown out of his negative vices, it's more than likely he'll come up with a new plan to destroy them albeit a different approach. Though the other gangs will be aware of him trying to wreak havoc on them again, I sincerely doubt that that'll stop Akutaro from having his revenge. And with the NG Boys and Girls behind his back, he definitely has a shot at it.

Then there's the resolution with the Nyan Nyaight Love segment. While it was endearing with the Receptionist wanting to help out the Customer, I'm just trying to wrap around the logic behind the Receptionist accepting him again.

It doesn't make sense to me how he'd be accepting of the guy who abducted one of your prized cats, lose her, and then just welcome him back with another cat. It's setting up a cycle for the Customer to fall in love with a new cat only for him to become obsessed with her and then try to steal the cat out of "love". And while the show focuses on him learning to lose his shame of visiting NNL, it doesn't try to challenge his dependency on cats for company along with his hostile jealousy.

Is the Receptionist aware of this potential problem and how it can happen again to another cat? Is the manager of NNL willing to accept the Customer again along with the risk of jeopardizing his business? I can't imagine how difficult it must be to promote a cat only to lose it because of a depressed nutjob.

Also, to the anon who was grossed out by Arajin's mom, I'd like to give a complete apology to you for refuting your claims. Because this...

This was not necessary.

I mean, it is interesting to know that Marito shows attraction to girls/women which gives more depth to his character. And while it is weird for him to hit on an older women, it's still technically okay since it is normal for teens/youth to show attraction to adults that catch their interest.

But what isn't okay is Yayako's reaction to his attention.

Again, she is a grown woman getting over excited because a teenage boy is trying to hit on her. And she's okay with this? Like ma'am, not only is that concerning because of the blatant age differences but you're also a married woman (according to the additional info). How are you so lenient with being hit on by a guy who could pass for your son? Like really? I used to think of Yayako as a quirky, wholesome woman who needed to not let her son treat her like trash. But now I'm seriously questioning her values and how she treats everything in her life like a soap opera.

In regards to Mitsukuni being in a coma and waking up, it was... okay. Like I'm happy that Matakara will get his big brother back and they'll be able to move into an apartment like they wanted to. But I feel that the reveal of him being in a coma undercut alot of the emotional turmoil Matakara went through. I don't know, it just feels rather hollow knowing that Mitsukuni was always there and was going to make it out alive while his little brother was running around like a war machine. It's conflicting in all honesty.

But what isn't conflicting was how much I really didn't care much for Senya returning in the last shot. I wasn't moved by Senya showing up in the last scene or how Arajin secretly missed him. Maybe it's because of how Arajin constantly yelled at him or acted like he didn't care. And while he does care in his own way, I just felt disinterested in the reunion and I had no strong emotions of Senya returning. It doesn't help that the part with Senya and Ichiya "leaving" didn't really have alot of emotional depth to make the reunion more impactful. Senya not coming back would not have me upset.

And those would be my thoughts on the final episode. For those who stuck around to read all of this, I thank you for doing so. And to those that stuck around, I apologize for the excessive negativity. And like I mentioned above, you're more than welcome to reblog this with your thoughts and whether you agreed, disagreed or have something to say regarding my post.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this along with my other posts for this ridiculous show. Your feedback means alot to me and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Nana na na, Nana na na, Nana na na na na...