#hope he has the greatest legal team in all of history

[montanabohemian]

pennsylvania are a bunch of fucking snitches. get wrecked.

[zorosangell]

⛥ﾟ・。 lucky punch: chapter one

chapter synopsis: after getting drunk at a Bonney rager with Nami, you're nearly busted by the cops... good thing a sexy, green-haired stranger was there to save you.

cw: high school/college au, violence, underage drinking, parties, mature themes, profanity, sports, reader is on the volleyball team, zoro is in kendo, you and zoro are both seniors and eighteen, etc.

"Damn it! These boots are impossible!" you drunkenly whined, stumbling slightly as your foot caught a raised chunk of sidewalk.

You knew you should've done the run test before leaving Nami's.

Now you were paying the price.

Behind you, the signature er-whoop��of a cop car echoed, the sound sending a pang of fear through your heart as the world seemed to feel like it was closing in, the swirling red and blue lights bounding off the buildings and surrounding you on all sides.

'Someone just had to snitch!'

A few moments earlier, you were having the time of your life—dancing, drinking, and partying to your heart's content with your best friend in the whole wide world.

The problem was that you weren't exactly the legal age to be drinking, and it was just your luck that Eustass Kid—absolutely sloshed out of his mind—managed to tee-pee the house next to Bonney's and forced them to call the police.

So a riot began when the cops pulled up on the lawn, everyone scattering like roaches in fear of being caught. 

Which was what you were supposed to be doing with your ginger gal pal.

But when the two of you nearly got cornered, you both split up, and, unluckily, you were the one the squad car chose to follow.

Now, to be fair, Bonney was known for throwing outrageous ragers at her house with little to no consequences, so all of this was bound to happen someday.

'But why'd they have to do this todayyyy?'

"Shit!"

Your shoes were holding you back from your full speed, forcing you to run awkwardly, while the alcohol pumping through your system made everything seem as if it was moving in slow motion, most of your attention focused on keeping on your feet.

Haphazardly, you attempted to cut a nearby corner, teetering to the side a little bit before you stabilized and continued to flounder down the sidewalk.

Despite the sharp pain in your heels, you pressed on strongly, knowing full well just what would happen if you were caught.

Out of all the people at the party, you were probably the one that could afford getting busted the least.

It was your dream to be the best volleyball player in the world, after all.

Because of your stellar performance as an outside hitter during your freshman year, you were whisked away to a special training camp across the country, where for two years you built up your body and honed your skills in hopes of returning senior year to be recognized by an international club.

Once that happens, it will be a straight shot to the top, ending with you going down in history as the greatest outside hitter volleyball has ever seen.

But, of course, all of that would fly right out the window if you gained a criminal record.

Your brows furrowed, feet picking up speed at the thought, even in your drunken state.

All that time...

All that work...

It would all be for nothing.

Suddenly, a pair of strong hands grabbed your shoulders, yanking you into a nearby alleyway covering your mouth as you let out a tiny yelp, eyes widening and blood running cold.

No!

You could've sworn the cop was still in the car...

How the hell did he get out so fast?

Yet as the squad car passed, the man holding you ducked into the shadows of the alley, watching closely as the police officer cruised past—the cop having stuck his head out the window to get a better look.

"Coulda swore she was right here..." he grumbled under his breath, brows furrowed.

He had a large scar stretching from his hairline to just above his cheekbone, two cigars hanging out the corner of his mouth as his eyes scanned over the area.

The mystery man's brows furrowed at the sight, body turning rigid.

Smoker.

'Shoulda known...'

He and Luffy had run into him a few times before.

The white-haired cop paused, giving the space one more once over before settling back in his seat, picking up his radio with an annoyed sigh.

"Tashigi, I lost her. Gonna circle back to your position and look for the redhead."

Your eyes widened, knowing exactly who he was talking about.

"Nami!" you whimpered, forcing the the man's calloused hand to press harder into your face to muffle the noise.

"Quiet," a deep, rough voice ordered, tone leaving no room for argument.

He held you with an iron grip, not budging even an inch as you began to squirm in his grasp.

He wasn't gonna spend another night in the precinct because of some girl who couldn't hold her liquor.

Suspicious, Smoker glanced in your direction, narrowing his eyes at the darkness as he looked directly at you—though he didn't know it.

Your heart stopped, your entire body freezing up as both you and the man behind you stayed still as statues, pressing firmer against the wall of the alley to avoid being revealed by the lights of the siren as the officer pulled off.

And once he was completely gone, you both let out a sigh of relief, your shoulders dropping as the tension finally oozed out your back.

"Are you stupid or something?" the man spat, curtly, the two of you stepping into the moonlight now that the cop was gone. "You could've gotten us both caught."

You turned around, raising a brow as he stepped closer, his chest about an inch away from yours.

Yum.

As your eyes adjusted to the better lighting, you couldn't help the warm buzz growing in your stomach at the sight of the absolutely gorgeous man in front of you.

He had a strong jaw, which looked like it could cut through stone, with sharp features and dark eyes that could bring any woman to her knees.

Eyes raking over his body, you might as well have been drooling, your expression not hiding your thoughts at all as you admired the prime slab of grade A male beef standing before you.

You were surprised you didn't notice just how large he was until then, six feet of chorded, hard-earned muscle, with a certain air that just made you want him to put you in a headlock.

'And then some...'

Not to mention his cute, soft-looking green hair.

"Are you that stripper Bonney tried to call?" you giggled, twirling a lock of your hair between your fingers as a lousy attempt to flirt.

Surprised, Zoro's breath hitched, a faint tinge of pink dusting the apples of his cheeks.

What you said had caught him completely off guard, and confirmed his suspicions that you were completely hammered.

Now, he wasn't a good Samaritan by any means, and in that moment he wanted nothing more than to ditch the dead weight and go back to finding Luffy—they had gotten split up, too.

But as he watched you look up at him, eyes glazed and lidded, feet having a slight wobble even as you stood still, he knew he couldn't leave.

You were a young, defenseless woman who was in the middle of an empty street alone at night, drunk as a skunk.

If he left you alone, it'd bother him for the rest of the day.

"Do you know where you are?" he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Uh... no?" you pouted, taking a moment to slowly look around, indeed realizing that you had no idea where you were.

"Great," he huffed, grabbing your arm. "Do you know where you live?"

"Whyyyy...?"

"'Cause I'm gonna take your ass home."

"Woah, sir... how about you get to know me first?" you giggled, body swaying back and forth.

Eyes wide, he froze, turning red as a beet.

"It's not like that! I'm just giving you a ride—!"

"Listen, Mister Hot Guy," you interrupted, index finger digging into his hard chest. "You might've saved us from the police but that doesn't mean you can just have your way with me. We have to go to dinner first."

Taking a moment to pause, the man looked at you in disbelief.

Never in his life had he ever encountered such an idiotically stubborn person.

And not only were you stubborn, but you were also fucking beautiful.

While he was a man who prided himself on self-restraint and respect, he couldn't help but let his eyes rake over you as your arms came up to cross over your chest.

Sexy, tanned skin accentuated under the complementary blue of your jean tube-top, your jean mini-skirt just long enough to tease, while making your ass look fantastic.

Your lipgloss made your plump lips so soft and inviting, and your eyes were so warm he felt like they heated him from the inside out.

A date didn't sound too damn bad—

"That's enough," he shut down, talking to both you and himself as he began to tug you down the street, leading you to his car.

"Woah-hey! Let me go! This is—!" 

Your small fight to wriggle out of his grasp was interrupted as you lost your balance, feet slipping and body flying backward toward the ground.

Luckily, that same pair of strong hands grabbed your waist with a death grip, forcing a gasp out your lips as your hands shot up to cling to his broad shoulders.

Zoro sighed in exasperation, picking you up and tossing you over his shoulder as if you were a sack of potatoes.

"Unbelievable," he muttered under his breath, continuing his trek down the street until he turned the corner and reached the safety of his pickup.

He'd be damned if he had to deal with a drunk you and a drunk Luffy at the same time.

So, he settled on setting aside an hour of the night trying to find your house, or a friend to drop you off with, then he'd hit up Luffy and grab him at whatever restaurant he managed to clear out.

Foolproof.

"Hey! This is kidnapping!" you squealed as he tossed you in the backseat, shutting the door behind. "I'll call that cop back to get you!"

"And get arrested yourself," he said with a slight chuckle, plopping himself down in the driver's seat and starting the engine.

Glancing at the rear-view mirror, his eyes took another moment to look you over.

You really were beautiful, and seemed close to, if not the same age, as him.

And your little outfit wasn't too bad either.

"Like what you see?" you teased with a smirk, slightly leaning back to give him a better view.

He scoffed as he rolled his eyes, not willing to give you the satisfaction.

"Put your seatbelt on," he ordered.

And although his tone was serious, you didn't miss the tinge of pink on his face.

"Can't," you shrugged, simply. "You're gonna have to help me..."

You giggled, wiggling your eyebrows and puffing your chest so that the man could get a nice look at your cleavage.

Unluckily for you, he knew better that to trust it, letting a tired hand rake through his hair as he realized how much of a pain in the ass this ride was going to be.

"Before, you said you knew a Nami," he grunted, resting his hands on the steering wheel. "That wouldn't happen to be Nami Nami, would it? Y'know, long orange hair, money-hungry, debt collecting?"

You gasped, eyes turning starry, "You know Nami?!"

The man let out a groan, dropping his head onto the horn, the car letting out a long beep as he just sat there, honestly amused by the circumstances.

Why was he not surprised?

Of course you and Nami were friends.

Annoyed, he shifted the truck into drive, pressing his foot on the gas and pulling off in the direction of Nami's house.

Now, not only did he have to drop your ass off, but he also had to pay back Nami the fifty dollars he owed, and then still go back out and grab Luffy.

And it was all thanks to you.

He grumbled to himself, resting his cheek in his palm as his other hand rested on the wheel.

'If I ever meet this woman again, it'll be too soon...'

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers and Side Characters Go on a Road Trip!

So, Diavolo, Lord of the Devildom, wants to go on a road trip for reasons unknown. You know what? Screw it, the reason is because Dia wants to do a fun human thing because MC brought it up during tea time. No one can defy the king, so TIME FOR A ROAD TRIP!

Shut Up! HE DOESN’T NEED DIRECTIONS! (Lucifer)

He was going to turn that car around. That’s it, he was going to leave. Someone else drive.

I hope your MC likes staticky traffic updates because that’s what Lucifer constantly had on the radio.

Obviously, some of the brothers complained, so Lucifer put on Beethoven’s Symphony no. 9. HELL YEAH TURN IT UP DJ!

Lol JK no one can car-dance to classical music. Just go back to the staticky traffic updates…

Lucifer would have preferred it if MC or Barbatos were riding shotgun next to him, but Diavolo ended up getting it. Dia is constantly asking Lucifer to stop so he can take pictures of the most mundane shit.

Lucifer stopped stopping after the first fifteen requests.

“I’m not stopping at McDonalds- hang on. Hi McDonald’s employee, one black coffee please.”

In true father fashion, Lucifer got lost and REFUSED to ask for directions. They were lost for five hours before Diavolo finally asked:

“Lucifer, you can turn on the GPS right?”

“Yes, but I don’t trust it.”

Everyone screamed in frustration and were all fully prepared to abandon Lucifer at the side of the road.

Please… can someone else drive? Anyone else…

Are We There Yeeeet..? (Mammon)

Okay, so, Mammon was one of two ways on that road trip. One: complete ADHD daydream zoned out. Or type Two: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRREEEEE WEEEEEEEE THEEEEEEEEERRRRRREEEE YEEEEEEET???!

He wanted to stop and go to all the tourist traps, by the end of the road trip Mammon wanted to open his own.

The Avatar of Greed loves driving, problem is, he’s used to driving off into the sunset as a lone bachelor, not with his friends and brothers in the car as well.

He only got to drive once, and it was awful. 0/10 would not recommend. Luke thought MC was driving and called shotgun…

Mammon just turns on the radio for music and hopes something good is on at least ONE channel.

STOP WEAVING BETWEEN LANES YOU MORON-

Not all of Mammon’s time driving was bad, the combined powers of Luke and Mammon meant that everyone stopped at a petting zoo at the side of the road. Everyone had a good time, even though when they got back into the car they all smelled like a farm.

Did anyone else hear that oinking in the car-

*Vibes to Music in the Backseat* (Levi)

After being cruelly dragged from his room and placed in this stupid van… he just climbed into the backseat and put on his headphones.

Maybe anime openings could drown out this problem…

Levi only drove for fifteen minutes, it was the most terrifying fifteen minutes of everyone’s lives.

Mario Kart is not a substitute for proper driving school!

Listen- Levi actually saved the entire trip, after stopping at a gas station everyone noticed that Levi never complained about what was on the radio because he was wearing headphones, so everyone bought their own pair and the car trip was so much more pleasant…

No matter how many times Lucifer told Levi to get his feet off the seat, he wouldn’t listen, he was GAMING and they took him away from his gaming chair! HE NEEDED TO SCRUNCH HIMSELF UP LIKE A GOBLIN TO FOCUS DAMMIT!

Whenever the car would stop so everyone could get out and take a picture or look at something, Levi had to be practically dragged out of the car and manually posed for the pictures.

“Is this one of those vans with TVs in them? I brought the first five volumes of TSL on DVD!”

While Satan was driving they stopped at a lake, and Levi burst out of the car and made friends with all the lake fish.

He was still soaking wet when they had to leave.

I’m a Responsible Driver- IS THAT AN OLD BOOKSTORE?! (Satan)

Satan, we believed in you…

Our favourite nerd wanted to stop at any and all historical spots or cool looking bookstores he saw.

When everyone went to buy headphones, he got a pair with cat-ears on them! Because obviously!

Satan’s a responsible driver, and he’s not as prone to road rage as one might think. He has patience, remember in the Jobs event when he worked in customer service? Those kinds of jobs take a godlike amount of self control to do.

Asmo called shotgun and Satan got to have the wonderful experience of having his ear chatted off by his dear brother.

Satan was not about to have fast food for the eighth time in four days, if everyone wanted food, he’d stop at a restaurant.

He was terribly sorry to anyone who needed to use the restroom, but they should have gone at the last rest stop.

When Satan stopped at the lake, he gave everyone a long lecture on the historical significance of the place, then noticed that Levi was being crowned king of the lake and decided he should cut his history lesson short before Levi abandoned his family to chill with the fish forever.

I wanted Satan to be the normal chill one with the radio… I really did… but deep in my subconscious I feel like Satan would put on one of those language learning DVDs so he can learn another language on the go like a total dork.

Road Rage (Asmodeus)

No one saw this coming but- Asmo gets some B A D road rage. Someone cuts him off? “Hi hello dear, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS?!” Someone doesn’t use a turn signal? “YOU BRAIN DEAD MORON! LEARN TO DRIVE!” Someone just pisses him off? “*prolonged horn sound*”

It’s just… the car trip was so taxing on the poor Avatar of Lust… he was crammed into the middle seat for the majority of the trip… he had to give his sleeping mask to Belphie… Beel was getting crumbs all over him and he couldn’t move over… just so tragic…

Solomon called shotgun and it was the greatest couple of hours of his life. He got a front row seat to Lucifer and Barbatos dragging Asmo back into the car because he tried to pick a fight with another driver.

Asmo wasn’t having a good time…

He didn’t want to stop for any gas station food or go through a drive-thru so it was another expensive restaurant trip. Rest In Peace to the gang’s wallets.

When he wasn’t driving, Asmo was loudly talking with MC or talking on the phone. It was a blessing in disguise when they went through an area with bad phone reception and Asmo finally had to shut up.

Oh well… at least he got a few nice pictures for Devilgram.

MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! (Beel)

We all know Beel is massive, right? His head is touching the ceiling and every speed-bump hurt.

He’s the one begging to stop at every gas station or fast food place they pass by.

Beel’s section in the car was covered in empty bags of Doritos by the end of the trip.

When Beel got to drive, Belphie got shotgun! Hell yeah dream team!

Poor Beel, he got distracted and ended up somehow popping a tire. He pulled over next to a farm, changed the tire, then got back in the car and kept driving.

Uh… there was an awful lack of snoring next to Beel- OH FUCK THEY LEFT BELPHIE!

Belphie was found sleeping next to the cows on the farm they had stopped at earlier.

The cows didn’t want to give their sleepy god up so easily…

After that… Beel didn’t want to drive anymore…

“Look, cows.” (Belphie)

I really need to stop with the cow jokes but I CAN’T

*snore*

Belphie’s crammed between Beel and MC for most of the trip and is probably drooling all over poor MC’s lap or shoulder.

Beware, he jolts up randomly and looks around in a panic before he realizes he’s in a car. This happens every three hours.

Belphie’s not allowed to drive, he’d fall asleep. But when Lucifer takes the wheel and puts on that fucking staticky radio, Belphie forms an idea.

“*ahem* four thousand bottles of beer on the wall, four thousand bottles of beer,”

Mission success, Lucifer wanted to tear his hair out.

Belphie ended up asking to stop when they get to a stretch of road with no streetlights, everyone got out of the and stared at the stars.

…listen, it’s a miracle no one got axe murdered but the stars were gorgeous.

Remember when I said Satan put on those language learning DVDs? Yeah uh…. Belphie woke up from his last nap of the trip almost fully fluent in Spanish. At least one person gained a new skill on this trip…

Oooo, Look at Thaaaaat! (Diavolo)

Even though the side characters were in a different car most of the time, sometimes people would switch to the other car if they met up at a gas station.

By the end of the road trip Dia looked like one of those tourist dads, Hawaiian shirt and all.

Dia can’t drive

He’s absorbing human culture… and human culture involves ordering everything at this random Wendy’s.

Diavolo’s camera roll is so unbelievably full by the end of the trip and he refuses to delete ANY of the pictures.

Most of the pictures are of really weird and boring stuff, like traffic signs and trees, but the picture he ends up printing out and putting in a picture frame is a picture of the whole group at the petting zoo having a grand old time.

He wanted to take home a baby goat but Barbatos said that wasn’t a good idea :(

Help. (Barbatos)

So, it could have been worse for Barbatos, he could have been stuck in the car with the brothers and MC.

Dia always had the seat up front, but when he left the car to go hang out with the dude-squad, Solomon got the passenger seat.

Solomon decided it would be a good idea to pester Barbatos to go faster and take weird shortcuts through (probably not legal) backroads and creepy forest paths.

Good thing Barbatos, Luke, and Simeon had functioning brain cells and knew that’s how horror movies began.

Barbatos stopped for fast food once and only once. It’s not healthy!

He’s the only driver to take suggestions for music, meaning that the side characters’ car was the best one of the two.

“SOMEONE GET THE BARF BAG!”(Simeon)

He’s just… he’s just trying his best not to vomit…

Simeon thought the car would be a good place to get some writing done while they drove down long stretches of road. Simeon was wrong in that assumption.

With his head down way too much while the car zoomed down the highway, Simeon felt himself getting *very* sick about four hours in.

He was worried he may have accidentally eaten something of Solomon’s… but nope. The angel was carsick.

Luke had the important job of patting Simeon on the back as he leaned over the barf-bag while Solomon dry heaved up front.

Hurry and open the windows before Solomon barfs too!!!!

Other than the car sickness, he had the job of making sure Luke was entertained, there was a good hour of eye-spy until they just got to a stretch of forest.

After that, Simeon realized that he could just give Luke free permission to ramble about whatever he wanted and that would keep the little guy entertained for HOURS.

What do You Mean I Can’t Legally Make This Turn?! (Solomon)

Shifty bastard can drive, problem is, he doesn’t care about the laws of the road.

He ended up getting pulled over after breaking approximately 11 traffic laws in less than ten minutes.

“License and registration.” “Yeah yeah yeah…” “…sir, this license expired in 1989.” “…shit.”

Solomon gunned it and managed to use his magic to hide the car and evade the very confused traffic cop.

Luke was completely aghast at the flagrant law breaking, but Solomon’s excuse was that the 80s were a lawless wasteland and he completely forgot he legally had to update his license.

He’s an equally obnoxious passenger as he is driver, but at least no one in the car is bored.

“You know, back in the day cars didn’t have seatbelts.” “Solomon put your seatbelt back on.”

…Can we keep it? (Luke)

He was against this from the start. A road trip? With those nasty demons? No! Never!

Okay fine… maybe he wanted to see some more of the human world… he agreed to go.

After helping Simeon through his car sickness, he misheard the other car say that MC would be driving, and Luke wanted to hang out with his third parent 🥺

That’s how he ended up riding shotgun next to Mammon. It started out rough, but when the two spotted the petting zoo it was all sunshine and rainbows.

Luke made friends with all the animals! He was like a little Disney Prince. He got especially attached to this one piglet, it was a surprise to Simeon that the goodbye wasn’t tearful.

Luke smuggled that piglet out of the petting zoo and they were all over fifty miles away before anyone noticed.

Of course, everyone was just shocked that Luke had stolen something, but he looked so cute holding the little piggy… awwww…

The bros obviously joked that Luke had gone to the dark side and was totally evil because he had taken the pig, much to the poor kid’s dismay.

Simeon tried to convince Luke that he needed to return the piglet but Luke was adamant that he could totally take good care of it.

Welp, time for Lucifer to fix this.

“Luke, you need to go put the pig back, it’s not yours.”

“No! I’ll take good care of it!”

“That doesn’t matter, you stole it. It’s not your property, do you want to end up a scummy thief like Mammon?”

“No not at all. Let’s go return the pig.”

“THAT’S ALL IT TOOK?!”

[popculturebuffet]

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck: The Last of the Clan McDuck!  Review “It Was Worth THE Dime”

This is one of my faviorite comic book stories of all time. Given i’m a massive comics nerd, for both books and strips, that is the highest praise I can give this wonderful, epic, beautifully drawn and deeply emotoinal story. I first discovered it in the local library that had the second volume, and found the rest online at a now long dead fan site. And while it took me longer than I care to admit to really dig into Duck Comics, and even now i’ve only scratched the surface, I can say without a doubt this story is the reason I’m so deeply attached to Scrooge as a character, and that I was excited as  I was for Ducktales 2017. This comic showed me just what Scrooge McDuck should be at his core as a character, and showed me what a wonderful character that is. So with all that glowing praise as you can guess i’ve been wanting to cover this for years, and even considered though back when I was more primarily a comic book reviewer last year. Any time i’ve reviewed stuff before now, i’ve considered it, and with Scrooge’s Sisters Hortense and Matilda presumably and definitely debuting on Ducktales soon, and it’s about damn time, the timing could not be better or clearer to dig into this utter triumph.  But before we can take a look at the story itself we naturally have to take a look at the man behind it: Writer and Artist Don Rosa. Don Rosa is easily one of the best Duck Comics writer out there, seen by many as only second to his own faviorite duck comics writer and God of Ducks, Carl Barks. For those 1 of you who do not know, Barks was the man who created pretty much everything in the duck universe comics wise and a bit in animation too: He created Daisy, Scrooge, Gladstone, Magica, The Beagle Boys, The Junior Woodchucks, Gyro, Little Bulb, Glomgold, Rockerduck, and the list goes on. While he didn’t make EVERY duck, he made so many that it’d be impossible to imagine either version of Ducktales being possible without him.  So of course Rosa was a fan and while he took up the family buisness, he was also an artist and duck comics fanboy on the side. So when, even if it meant a paycut, the opportunity to actually write and draw them came up, he lept at it and thus became one of their publishers go to guys, even if said publisher published the stories overseas where the Duck Comics are far more popular and still going to this day, and ironically where most duck comics printed nowadays get their stories from. Rosa was known for his meticous historical research and gorgeous art that he took his time drawing to get just perfect and showed on the page. The man has easily some of hte best and most detailed duck art around and I still haven’t found a duck artist that can match him.. and if you have or found one close i’d genuinely love to see that. He is a genuinely talented, spirited guy who was sadly mistreated by disney and that, coupled with tragically failing eyesight, eventually ended his career. He’s still around and I genuinely hope to meet him some day as he still does conventions.  The man is not without fault: I don’t get his hatred of superhero comics, as while I get them overshadowing funnybooks and that around the time of his career they were in decline, but it’s just as unfair to write off Superhero comics as mindless.  garbage as it is for people to write off the Duck Comics as “only for kids” and I genuinely wish he’d see that and see how the medium has evolved so much since then. I also grumble a bit as his refusal to allow anything besides barks into his bubble, and having to be forced to include fethry on the family tree, but that’s more personal preference. I like using as much material as you got. IT’s why i’ve wanted to, and hopefully will eventually get around to, write a sonic fanfic using bits of all the various universes that for legal, ken penders being an absolute waste of a human being, and sega being stupid reasons can’t be used anymore. I like taking everything in a franchise and putting it in a blender and it’s why I love the reboot. But there’s nothing wrong with taking things as is, not stepping on toes canon wise, but still being awesome. We’re just diffrent people and that’s okay.  And a lot of his fanboy showing actually lead to REALLY good things: Goldie O’Gilt was a one off character, and while used ocasoinally overseas, didn’t really pick up as a character again until a combination of Ducktales 87 and Rosa’s work with her, as he always loved the character, and fleshing her out lead to her being used more, and gaining a sizeable fandom. He also gained the Cablleros an even bigger fandom by giving them two stories of their own, and fleshing them out a bit more.  And this very comic is the peak of that, taking EVERY mention of scrooge’s past from various backstories to set up adventures, every tiny scrap, and to his credit going to both Barks Himself and various other Barks Experts Rosa was friends with to check his work, especially difficult given he likey had to find these stories in issue or pullt hem from disney archives, and complied it into one long epic that not only uses all this info effortlessly, but spins a compelling story that gives us a clear vision of what Scrooge should be, how he became the man he is, and how he lost himself only to find himself again with the help of three precocious boys and a cynical 30 something duck. So taint all bad is what i’m saying.  As for how this got started, thankfully rosa himself provided the origin story for this project in the back of the volume of his works that contained the first 7 chapters of life and times, as well as detailed notes for every chapter. At the time Rosa was working for Egmont, the big european publisher who handles Disney’s much larger european comics market, hence why most of his stories appeared years earlier in Europe before debuting here. The american publisher at the time , and an old friend of his, called Rosa with an idea: A 12 issue Maxi-Series focusing on Scrooge’s history, since at the time they were all the rage.. and really even today mini series are still a viable market and many indie titles just have several minis instead of an ongoing. So it wasn’t a bad idea, Rosa just simply offered a tweak: He’d tell his publisher at Egmont about the idea, and let her get a crack team of writers and artists to do this proper, and thus Disney could publish it for free once it was done and for no extra cost. Rosa gave his publisher a fax detaling both the idea and the fact that it needed to be done right, given to the best person possible, and done with the greatest care. She agreed.. and naturally handed it to him, as he admits he hoped. She made the right call, a legend was born and here we are.  One last bit before the read more and before I get to the first story itself at last: Since barks wrote a lot of side stories that fit into the canon, I COULD slot them in between chapters, but have instead chosen to review the original 12 part story as was, and do the various side stories and two epilogues, the utterly fantastic “Dream of a Life Time”, easiliy one of my faviorite comics ever, and the also really great “Letter From Home”, which will likely on some level be the basis for the upcoming at the time of this review “Battle for Castle McDuck!”, after completing the story. In other words i’m probably going to be at this for years. so join me under the read more won’t you as I begin the journey of a thousand miles with a single step as we look at the humble start of a legend. 

We begin, after a fun short teaser with present Day scrooge saying his past is no one’s buisness only to get hit with an oh yeah?,  with a scrap book title for the issue, something I want to bring up since while I got that’s what it was what I never got, and  must’ve glanced over when I first read rosa’s notes when I got this copy, was that it isn’t SCROOGE’S scrap book, but his sister Matilda’s who dutifully and happily catologued her brother’s adventures. It’s a really sweet moment.. and something that will hit VERY hard when we reach Chapter 11. If you haven’t read this story or heard of it.. .that’s this story’s equilvent of “Last Crash of the Sunchaser” and clearly Frank and Matt drew from that story a bit for it, but we can get more into the parallels when we get there. A smaller but fun note is that Rosa had specific coin drawing templates, for different indentions and what not he used, and used them for the coins in these intro bits. Yes he admitted he has a problem and yes that’s damn impressive anyway. 

It’s Scrooge’s 10th birthday, and his father Fergus has taken him up to see the family land, Dismal Downs to tell him of the mighty Clan McDuck and show him the ancestral lands, graveyards and Castle. He admits to having taken this long because the Clan McDuck currently lives in Glasgow so it’s kind of a long trip just to show your son “Hey look at the decay and rot that’s our ancestral homeland”. The Clan is on hard times, as a bad shipping deal, the backbone of a rather good barks story and I wont’ be interjecting for every barks reference as it’d get rather tiring though for what it’s worth Rosa provided tons of detailed footnotes in the back of each Fantagraphics collection, so good on him. Speaking of which though they do include 10 pages of Mc Duck family history that was supposed to open this story.. until Rosa’s editor wisely pointed out the story isn’t about them but scrooge and having read his roug draft, yeah.. there’s a good gag here and there, as well as “Dirty” Dingus McDuck, scrooge’s Grandpa and the reason Dewey is cursed with that middle name. Why anyone thought Dingus was a good name is beyond me, nor why Donald thought that was a good middle name back in 2009 is again, beyond me. Good on Don though for getting that past the censors.  But yeah with no money they can’t buy the land back and they were scared off it years ago by a mystical ghost dog, the hound of the whiskervilles. There is treasure in the castle, Sir Quackly’s gold, but he accidently sealed himself into a wall while sealing his treasure in there. Their interrupted by the town assholes, the Whiskervilles who have been grazing sheep on the land and are naturally behind the hound, using the sound of it to scare off Fergus once they realize he’s a McDuck. Because apparently you can keep a Scooby Doo style hoax up for Centuries if you don’t have meddling kids around. Who knew.  Back in Glasgow, we meet the rest of Scrooge’s family: His Uncle Jake, his sisters Matilda and Hortense, and his mother Downy. Jake hasn’t really been mentioned at all in Ducktales and I know next to nothing about him, which given I share a name with the guy you’d THINK I would. I mean I know a decent amount about this Jake. 

But nothing about who the hell Jake McDuck is or why he lives with his brother and his family. Here, you guys watch the dancing Jake, i’m going to probably do that for hours after this review is done, i’m going to go sort this out.  Okay one google and finding the Scrooge Mcduck wiki page on him, Jake shows up here likely because he was referenced in the story “A Christmas For Shacktown” and apparently borrowed from Scrooge and never paid it back. Otherwise.. there’s not a lot about him and unlike the rest of Scrooge’s family he really dosen’t do much that I can remember. Except like 2017 Scrooge, he apparently has become extremely long lived, as Scrooge and Donald STILL think he’s alive in the 1950′s.. and likely is STILL alive in some form in the Don Rosa stories, given his take place after Barks and thus in the 40′s and 50′s where Barks stories were set. Hence why unlike the Reboot, Scrooge isn’t inexpecilbly over 210. But Jake McDuck sure as heck is. Maybe this highlander is a highlander.. you know the movie and tv show type. Maybe someone cut off his head. That’s what i’m going with.

This does bring me to another point about this story: While Barks gave all of scrooge’s family their names, it’s where Rosa got them after all, it’s Rosa who really made them into characters. Fergus as a loving father ashamed his family legacy has fallen and wanting his son to do better than him, Downy as an equally loving wife and mother, Matilda as his sweet and caring sister and later her brother’s moral center, and Hortense.. well here she’s just a babbling baby but her character will become clear and glorious as we go. She is adorable here though and we do get some great bits with her.  Getting back to the plot now i’ve made my points, Jake is riled up wanting to understandably kick the Whiskerville’s asses with Scrooge, who even as a sweet innocent ten year old still has the family temper already, agreeing.. but Downy gently shoots them out pointing that two middle aged-ish men and a 10-year old just aren’t enough to fight an army of them and while she doesn’t mention it the fight would just tire them out for work and accomplish nothing as while it is the McDuck’s land the combination of the hound and the lack of money to move back means it’s pointless. She also mentions their younger brother Pothole, who went to America. This will be important later. 

Scrooge storms off and Fergus laments, in a scene that’s more painful the more I think about it, how his clan has fallen, with he and his brother lamenting their chances at glory are long gone.. but Fergus has hope his son can do better, and for his son’s birthday makes him a shoeshine kit in the hopes of inspiring him to greatness. This scene still resonates since many of us are poor, struggling and not doing so good money wise. I’m sure many parents have doubts and regrets about not being able to do more for their kid.

 Not only that but the story carefully avoids the trap of Fergus accidently being abusive by you know, pinning his family’s future on one 10 year old. While yes he is asking a lot of Scrooge, to restore their family name.. it’s very clear he mostly just wants his son to do better than him. Even if Scrooge was just slightly more successful, Fergus would likely be happy with that. He’s not using the legacy as a “This what you must be” like say the Gems in steven universe did for Steven with Rose’s Legacy, the kind where it sort of suffocates you till youc an make it your own. He’s just saying “this is what you can be” He believes his child can be great and simply once him to reach his full potetial and is simply giving him a means to hopefully do so, a simple home made shoe shine kit. While Jake scoffs, the narration notes the idea isn’t worth a dime.. it’s worth THE dime. The dime that would set Scrooge’s destiny in motion. 

The next morning, Fergus goes to check up on his son and his new buisness but Scroogey’s having no luck and about ready to just quit, the poor child. Also Matilda is dragging her baby sister around like a doll and it’s entirely precious as it is funny. 

But as for those Dorty Boots, Matilda wonders why her dad dosen’t just tell Scrooge that Burt the Ditch Digger is coming. Fergus tells her to quite and then explains his plan: he’s sending Burt to scrooge, with an American dime Fergus and Matilda found, to teach his son a lesson: By giving him a hard days work, he’ll teach him what hard work truly means.. and by having Burt “cheat” him with the American dime, it’ll give him the motivation to keep going and to nto be as wide eyed and trusting. It’s a well meaning if harsh lesson, and the kind you’d expect from 1900′s parenting and fits the origin well: Scrooge still earned his first money square, as he still did work.. but his getting cheated being a lesson dosen’t diminish what it taught scrooge, and helps flesh out what I talked about above, Fergus knowing his son has great potential he just needs inspiration to reach it. And instead of just telling him that he does a con job but it’s the 1900′s. This orign, and Fergus’ part in it would be entirely untouched in Ducktales 2017, the first scrooge based adaptation since this comic came out, and I bless them for it. Frank even said this comic was used as a bible by the writers and while theirs clear deviations, and we’ll get to that, they were mainly done for good reason, and it’s very clear that while scrooge’s history is very VERY diffrent in the reboot, the core of his past is still there. 

So the plan is on and young scrooge spends half an hour killing himself to get Burt’s shoes clean before getting his dime.. and realizing he’s been had, makes this proud decleration that will be the bedrock of his entire life and character. 

Scrooge being naturally stubborn as you can see takes his cheats a leson: There will always be hard honest work, and he will be there to do it and he’ll be tougher and sharper than anyone trying to cheat him out of his pay. Fergus’ plan has the intended effect, and Scrooge having learned a hard lesson now has the drive and determination we know him for. As for why it gives it to him.. I had to think on it a bit but it makes sense: For some a setback like this would make them quit.. for Scrooge it’s just proof he CAN find customers, he CAN do this job, or any at his hardest and instead takes this as a lesson to be prepared ot out think and outfight anyone who dares cheat him again, and to not earn his money by being the kind of guy who cheats a kid out of an honest days pay, but as a good honest duck like his father and his father before him. =He will make his money square so he can be the kind of person this seeming stranger SHOULD have been. Granted we’ll see Scrooge doesn’t end up as the best person at times but .. we’ll get there.  So with the fire inside turned from a spark into the flame Scrooge soon got to work, and by the next panel we see he’s eventually worked his stand up from a small box given to him by his dad, to a three seater shoeshining bench, who he wipes all at once by stretching one of his mother’s girldes over a light pole, a detail I didn’t get the first time around but now love. Naturally being a good kind boy much like his Nephews, Scrooge always gave his proud father a portion of his earnings, if with a full receipt for tax purposes. Because he’s still scrooge after all. His dad wonders he did too good a job while Hortense glxbit’s in agreement. 

As the years go on, a now tween Scrooge is eventually able to save up for a horse cart, and starts selling Fire Wood up in the city. He eventually realizes Peat, an earthy subtance found in bogs I only know about because I had to look it up for this review, is more profitable and with some snappy marketing moves into selling Peat for the rich instead, also showing the young lad already has a grasp of how to sell to obnoxious rich people. 

But while his business is booming, our young hero can’t resist visiting his family’s ancestral home and longing for it, hoping one day to have it for himself and in a nice show of how despite his temper and tenacity forged over the last few years he’s still at hear the kind, sweet optimistic lad he was just a few pages ago, he decides to tidy up the Clan’s Cemetary while he’s here. 

Unfortunately as proof that Donald and Della’s terrible luck comes from both sides of the family the Whiskervilles are sub-glomgold levels of human beings.. or Dogfaces in this case, and are digging up the McDuck Clan’s graves to hunt for treasure. Scrooge tries to simply do the smart thing and flee, but the asshole brigade catch sight of him and mistkaing him for a peat burgalar chase after him.. and spend WAY too much time and energy chasing a teenage boy over some fucking bog grass you clearly aren’t selling yourselves. I mean spare a thought for how dumb this is: They could easily sell of of that peat to put up a fence or chop down some trees to get the material if their really that concerned about someone getting in the bog. Then again this isn the 1800 and 1900′s where the child death toll was simply “Yes”, so they likely thought whose gonna notice one more dead child on our property?

Scrooge heads toward the castle and is gestured in by a friendly mystery duck who gladly shows him around and can tell he’s a McDuck just by look, showing the castle is still in glorious condition as the whiskervilles are too spooked to go in, hence why they didn’t chase Scrooge inside. I’d say being afraid of ghosts but not murdering a child is weird but these are the same guys who thought murdering a child was plan A. We’re not dealing with a brain trust is what i’m saying.  So the mystery duck shows Scroogey around, showing off some colorful stories about his ancestors recycled from that scrapped prologue I mentioned. THe mystery man, who brushes off Scrooge thinking he’s a McDuck asks Scrooge what he’s doing to restore the family glory and while Scrooge points out he’s already working on it, Mystery Duck points out he’s still missing something: He has the drive and the dream, but peat and shoeshining, while getting him good money for his family, aren’t the thing you can build a fortune or a future off of. He then points out where Scrooge’s dime comes from: America.. and that gives the boy the idea to head to the states. As for what he could possibly DO there to start, the mystery guy mentions his uncle pothole. So Scrooge has the dream, the drive.. and now a plan: Go to america, work for his uncle on the riverboats, and work his way up from there till he finds his fortune and restores his family name.  But while his future is settled, the present is still an issue and Scrooge wants to teach the child murder club a lesson and thus borrows, though MM wisely points out it’s all his property a horse and some armor, and stuffs the armor with peat. As for what his plan is.. welllll

That.. is fucking awesome. And far from the last fucking awesome moment in this thing. It also shows off even as not quite a teen yet, Scrooge is still a badass already, and while he doesn’t have his trademark strength or fighting skills quite yet, his ingenuity is already there.. and that will always trump both. The Whiskervilles run away and into some quicksand and Scrooge vows to return one day as laird and reclaim his family land. But that’s a story for a few chapters down the line. As for who the mystery duck is, he’s naturally Sir Quackely himself, or rather his ghost, who was simply guiding Scrooge and didn’t give him the treasure as simply handing him the money wouldnn’t restore their family’s good name or continue their bloodline now would it? 

For now Scrooge returns to work for a bit before finding his way to America: A cattleboat to New Orleans looking for a Cabin Boy. And so Scrooge bids farewell to his family. His Dad, feeling bad he can’t even give his boy shilling, gives him the family pocketwatch with jake pitching in with the family gold dentures. While Scrooge naturally refuses to sell the watch, he does plan to sell the teeth as soon as possible for good reason. We then get some sweet goodbyes with him, his sisters (With hortense uttering her first words to everyone’s astonishment) and loving mother as he wonders just what awaits him in America. 

And there he stands on the bow of a ship, heading for a new land, in New Orleans he can be a new man. And we’ll see just what kind of man he becomes as this series continues. For now this is the end of a chapter but the beginning of a lifetime. 

Final Thoughts on Last of the Clan McDuck:

This story is excellent. While there are even better chapters to come, this one is still one of the most memorable and most joyous, showing just how Scrooge became what he is, where some of his values come from, others will be instilled along the way , and beginning to flesh out his family. We see Scrooge’s love of wealth comes from starting from the bottom, growing up with a family that barely had anything and badly needed everything, but was loving and instilled fine morals in him. We also see a Scrooge far removed from the bitter old man he is in present day, an optimistic naïve young lad who only wants best for his family. It’s a nice stark contrast to who he’ll become, good and bad, and a nice way to both compare him to Huey Dewey and Louie and break your heart as his own hardens before briefly turning black later on.  The art, as is standard for this series and Rosa, is breathtaking, and the story isn’t lacking in good jokes, their just downplayed so the story itself can take center stage. There’s nothing really more to say: it’s an excellent start to an even more excellent tale and stands proud among an already stellar story as one of it’s finest outings. 

NEXT RAINBOW: Scrooge goes down to the mighty Missipi to work on the riverboats and meets one of his signature Rogue’s for the first time in their first form, as well as Gyro’s dad.. or grandpa.. or possibly both I don’t know his family tree. Point is, tune in next time for some riverboat hyjinks.  Until then if you’d like to comission an episode of any animated show, especially ducktales and the various other duck related disney shows, or another Duck Comics story you really like from Rosa, Barks or whoever you want really, I take commissions for 5 dollars a review, with 5 dollars off your full order when you put in for more than one episode or issue. You can also follow me on patreon.com/popculturebuffet and for just two bucks a month get access to polls (which i’ll start once we have at least three patreons), and my exclusive discord server. And if you liked this review be sure to reblog it to show off. My self promotion done until next time: There’s always another rainbow. 

[heli0s-writes]

DEADCRUSH

Summary: Deadcrush, a game played based on the question “what historical figure would I want to take on a date if they were alive today?”

A/N: 4k word count because I can’t be brief about anything. Also mentions age difference, and questionable internet humor. Also now with Part 2! Oh my god and Part 3!

Bag of Tricks One-Shots Masterlist

It’s in the middle of receiving a blow to his jaw when Bucky hears your voice whistle through the air above him.

“No way!” You’re yelling, “That’s sick, Peter!”

He glances up for half a second to see you swinging against the New York backdrop, left hand raised and entombed by a thick knot of webbing from Parker who’s launching you and himself across the skyline. Bucky dodges another fist and by the time he’s knocked out the thug trying to get fresh with him, you’ve already finished your trajectory and bowled over a cluster of bodies. The ground’s cracked where you made your descent in the distance, and Parker lands softly next to you.

“Come on!” He cries, pitch rising, “You picked Rasputin!”

You respond with a maniacal giggle. “He’s Russia’s greatest love machine!” With a flick of your wrist, you condescendingly scoff. “Dude, Anne Frank? She was twelve.”

“Rasputin was like a million! And insane! Anne Frank is close to my age, at least. And this is entirely hypothetical—I'm imagining a future with her where she’s older than me. I think we’d totally get along, I read her diary and everything- I mean, we’re so close! Fine--” Parker crosses his arms.

“Marie Curie.”

Your eyes catch Bucky looking and you give him a wide smile and a small wave before you pivot back to Peter. Bucky’s brow furrows even deeper before he turns and heads towards Steve who’s winding down at the end of his own fight. Kids are fucking weird, he thinks a little bitterly, as you and Parker squabble on in the distance.

-

In the middle of dinner, as he’s twisting a ream of spaghetti onto his fork, you and Parker stand on the balcony eating what looks like a whole baguette smeared with jelly. Through the glass door, Parker crunches into it before handing the baguette off to you. He’s gesturing wildly and brushing crumbs off his suit.

You take a bite too large for your mouth and the crust crumbles down your chin, chased by a dribble of jelly. You level your palm and start measuring Peter’s height much to his indignance, and Bucky has to turn around before he loses his appetite completely. He hears your laughter muffled through the door. Your hand is clasped on Parker’s shoulder in an attempt to hold yourself up.

You’re a funny one. Always joking and cheerful. You’ve been a part of the team for the past six months and you’re closest to Parker both in demeanor and in age, but sometimes Bucky finds you up late at night and the two of you sit at the table over a cup of tea.

You show him inexplicable and strange images from your phone and try your best to explain to him why the frog is on the unicycle and what the hell “yeet” actually means. Once, you showed him a video about twerking but when you jokingly proposed that you might teach him instead, he nearly knocked the table over by jerking up, ready to take off.

It always ends with joyful tears in the corners of your eyes.

It makes him a little bit angry with himself because he really has no right to even be talking to you. Cryrosleep aside, he’s almost old enough to be your father. But when your laughter lights up the room, it burns those harsh thoughts from his brain.

He’d never admit it, but when he’s awake after tossing for hours, he hopes you’re in the kitchen.

The door swings open and in-between mouthfuls, Parker is baffled, “Who is that?”

“Ancient poet.” You answer, popping a finger in your mouth, “My girl! Island of Lesbos. She definitely knew how to...” You waggle your eyebrows, make a V-shape with your fingers, and lewdly run your tongue up and down between them. Bucky thinks he sees you looking at him, but he feels himself flushing at your comment and pretends like he’s enthralled with spaghetti.

“Dude. Stop it.” Peter moans.

-

In the middle of movie night, another showing of Mary Poppins, you and Parker once again tuck away into the corner of the Stark auditorium with a shared blanket and chatter vehemently. Bucky doesn’t know which is more irritating—Van Dyke’s terrible accent, or the fact that the two of you are attached by the hip today.

“Marilyn Monroe!” Parker whispers.

From the corner of his eye, Bucky watches you contemplate your reply before leaning in impossibly close to Peter. The young man’s jaw clenches as his eyes widen like saucers. He shoots Bucky a look, as if catching him eavesdropping.

“What!?” Peter shrieks.

The entire room turns to look at the two of you. You clamp your hand over Peter’s mouth, bury your face into the side of his head.

“That’s the safest one!” You say.

“No! No, it’s definitely not safe!” He responds back, voice cracking slightly and pushing your face away when your hair tickles him. “Gettoffa— God! Are you serious!?”

“Okay, what the hell is this conversation?” Natasha pauses the movie and leans over the back of the recliner.

Peter pulls the cover over his face and you start giggling again.

“We’re talking about our DC’s.” You finally admit, pausing enough to calm yourself.

“DC’s?” Steve questions.

“Dead crushes.” There it is again- that little look you send his way. He thinks three times is at least one too many to be just a dream.

“Dead-what-now?” Sam is incredulous.

“You guys have never played this game before? You know, pick one person from history who you’d take out to dinner if circumstances made it possible.”

Peter pokes his head out, “And look, please tell her that all of my choices are perfectly reasonable! Anne Frank? Marilyn Monroe? Marie Curie? She picked Rasputin! And not because of that weird old song.”

You scoff because Boney M is a fine example of industry-bottled pop music and beat Milli Vanilli as the façade of genuine artistry by miles.

“Rasputin’s a bit dark, isn’t he?” Steve shakes his head.

Sticking your tongue out at him, you land your gaze on Natasha with a sly smirk.

“Who would you pick, sexy international Russian spy? Let’s get a peek into that gorgeous red head of yours.” She licks her lips at your overt flirtation and flips her hair over her shoulder.

Bucky folds his arms over his chest and leans back into the chair he’s on. This was your game—saddling up to people with effortless compliments and humor, reading a personality so well and maneuvering yourself to fit just right into their expectations. Who else could be so forward with Natasha, joking or otherwise? Who else would suggest teaching him how to twerk? Fuck.

Natasha mulls the question over for a second, “Stalin. I’d take him to dinner. And then to his grave.”

There’s an exasperated sound that escapes your lips. “Okay, that’s not really how the game works. This is not supposed to be a political commentary- it's a genuine display of … attraction!”

“To corpses.” Bucky mutters.

“Okay, that’s dark.” You and Peter exhale in unison. The giggles that escape both of you as you start calling “jinx” on each other before wrestling on that tiny fucking sofa chair makes him bite back a growl. From the couch to his left, Steve notices.

-

In the middle of pouring scalding water into a plain white mug, Bucky feels a tap on his shoulder.

“No.” He greets the finger. “Nope. Steve. Goodnight, jerk.”

“You’re actin’ like a kid, Buck.”

Bucky huffs as he sets the kettle back down with a clatter on the stovetop.

“No.” The problem is that I’m not the kid, Bucky scolds himself for even having the thought surface.

Steve half-heartedly sighs because Bucky is so smitten it’s almost painful to watch. It’s obvious to him and the rest of the team that the two of you dance around each other under the pretense of professionalism, but he knows that the laughter coming from down the hallway late at night is more meaningful than a work relationship.

The first time Steve had seen Bucky lean into a friendly touch was when you had placed your hand on his back, steadying yourself as you fixed your shoe. It was such an offhanded gesture, and Bucky tensed briefly before holding out his arm for you. You didn’t realize his intention and took his entire vibranium hand with a firm squeeze before waltzing off, leaving him to gaze after your disappearing trail. That was three weeks into Bucky’s time at the compound, and your fourth month. It opened Steve’s eyes to a possibility he hadn’t yet entertained.

Steve thinks part of how easily you had infiltrated Bucky’s stonewall demeanor is, in fact, your age. You were right on the cusp of balancing maturity and immaturity, often teetering into the immature waters out of habit. You stayed up late for no reason, played video games for hours, ate all sorts of odd meals with no care for your health, and always gladly shared anything that made you smile. It was infectious. You lacked the exact type of self-awareness everyone else had that made them so careful with Buck— and he let you slip through the cracks effortlessly.

It’s your childlike happiness that’s done it for Bucky. Even though it’s now become a point of uneasiness for his friend, Steve is thankful that you’re exactly how old you are. It’s helped him more than harmed him so far.

Bucky takes a sip of his peppermint and lemon tea and leans against the counter. Steve watches with amusement as his shoulders tense when your chortle bounces into the room. You’re telling Peter goodnight as he heads back home to Queens.

“Hey!” You call, “Sunrise tomorrow?”

A faint affirmation is heard before Parker’s whooping whips faintly in the distance, swinging away. The front door closes and you pop into the kitchen wearing nothing but a swimsuit cover-up, full of diamond-shaped holes. A tiny pink bikini peeks out from underneath the pattern. Bucky averts his gaze because the women of his time did not dress like that and he’s not even sure looking in your direction is legal.

“Night swimming?” Steve asks with a smirk at his friend, who turns around to hide the red creeping up his cheeks like vines.

You nod eagerly before opening the pantry and grabbing a box of Oreos from the top shelf. Tucking one into your mouth, you crunch through it and swallow before closing the pantry door and placing the container under your arm. Crumbs fall down your chest and you curse under your breath as you swipe bits of cookie from your top, oblivious to why Steve suddenly finds the ceiling very interesting.

“Hey me and Double-P are gonna watch the sunrise on top of the Chrysler building tomorrow- you two wanna come? He’ll swing you right up! It’s fun! I’m gonna make breakfast!”

They both shake their head and you mutter something about their loss for a free roller coaster and good view. Bucky and Steve follow your path out the door and hear the patter of your feet before you crash into the deep midnight water with a tremendous cannonball. They watch as your head breaks the surface of ripples before you lean back and squirt water from your mouth like a fountain. Music surges from the outdoor speakers— a seductive Latin Pop tune with hints of reggaeton. You float over to the pool’s edge and throw another cookie in your mouth, bopping along to the groove enthusiastically, shoulders winding to the ebb and flow of water.

“C’mon, Buck.” Steve urges, motioning his head to where you float lazily, watching the moon, nodding to synth beats and timbales drumming. “Forget age… she woulda been your kinda girl back in the day.”

Bucky swallows and turns to his steaming mug, “There were no girls like her back in the day.”

-

It’s in the middle of his nightmare when Bucky jerks awake and smells buttered toast and coffee. It’s still dark out, only four-something, but he stumbles to the restroom and brushes his teeth anyway. When he arrives at the kitchen, you’re standing at the stovetop wearing athletic shorts and bunny slippers. There’s a frilly orange apron tied neatly to your waist, covering a shredded crop-top, and you’re flipping a hearty slice of bread with an egg in the center.

“Hey Sarge.” You smile, “Help yourself to an eggy. Yolk’s runny and dippable, just like God intended.”

He shakes his head no because he knows you’re preparing it for Peter, but sits down on a stool anyway, leaning over the counter to watch you with interest. When one piece of toast cooks, you move to crack fresh pepper and sea salt over another. You also slice tomatoes and rinse fresh basil leaves, tunelessly humming the whole time. When you stifle a yawn with your shoulder, Bucky squints at the tell-tale blue bags under your eyes.

“Again?”

You rub your neck with a guilty smile and take a sip of water, “Got stuck on the internet… reading about… I can’t even... I know I started with Kennedy… but the last browser is bee swarming and royal jelly...”

He laughs when you go off on a rant about how bees communicate with each other, even demonstrating for him something you called a “waggle dance”, and he’s not sure if you’re just making shit up or not but it’s cute as hell when you bend your elbows and shuffle in figure eights on the tile.

“So then, me— a bee— would show you— another bee— this dance… and then you would go find the yummy flower! And did you know bees would dance with excitement depending on how convinced they are about the quality of the flower!? They get excited!” You repeat the same figure eight this time accompanied by elbow flapping and happy buzzing. The sound vibrates between your teeth and sizzles over your lips.

Bucky’s laughing so hard he has to put his face in his hand. Finally, you settle down.

“Now your turn.” You tease. He shakes his head defiantly, eyes still brimming with amusement.

You pour him a steaming mug of coffee and slide it next to his hand with a small smile. There’s a strange light in your bleary eyes as you bite your bottom lip.

A flush suddenly sweeps across your cheeks.

“What?” Bucky asks, taking a slow sip, savoring the bitter taste as it rolls down his throat.

“It’s stupid...it’s nothing.” The awkward laugh coming from your throat makes Bucky shuffle in the stool, wary and slightly concerned. Before you can continue, Steve pokes his head in and announces he’s going for a run and asks you to save him some breakfast when he gets back. Bucky checks the time on the microwave. Almost five.

Something dings on the bar counter and you move to grab your phone, frowning and placing your hands on the ruffles against your hip. A disappointed noise sputters from your mouth before you tear off the apron and turn off the stovetop with a quiet fury. “He cancelled!” You cry, disappointment darkening your features. “I made all this crap!”

Bucky looks over the countertop arrangement of perfectly crispy thick multigrain toast, shiny fried eggs, tupperware containers of tomato and shredded basil, and two thermoses of coffee and juice. Your shoulders slump as you place your hands on your hips and lean back to pop your neck and crack your knuckles. You pick up the trash can and kick off its lid, placing the edge of the gaping dark maw against the counter, holding your arm out to sweep the food in. Your generally pleasant features are stained by a scowl.

He forgets how impulsive you can be.

“Wait!” Bucky yells, reaching across the counter. “I’ll go. I’ll watch the sunrise with you.” When you stare at him in surprise, he quickly glances around the countertops, “Let’s not waste all this. You worked really hard on it.”

A squeal escapes as you drop the trash can and clasp your two hands together in a cheer. “Bucky. You are…” you suck in a deep breath and hold your hands over your heart, “just the best. My number one… Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the one-oh-seventh.”

His heart leaps just a tad as his former title rolls off your tongue almost wistfully. Bucky opens his mouth to ask you what you mean but you’re balancing two containers of foil-wrapped toast, another one of tomato slices and the thermoses are hanging precariously on your middle fingers. Bucky leaps from his seat and takes the food from you, leaving the thermoses in your hand.

“To the roof, Sarge!” You smile, leading the way. He follows closely behind and raises his eyebrow curiously when you keep looking back at him every few steps.

It’s in the middle of biting into the most heavenly piece of toast he’s ever had that Bucky hears you giggle shyly. You’re rarely bashful— usually too sharp-tongued and unfiltered is how most people would describe you. It’s why your best friend is Peter Parker: boy genius, mile-a-minute-mouth.

“What is it?” Bucky’s teeth crunch against the crisp brown edge, the bite of egg sliding over his tongue.

You’re leaned back on your palm, brushing a crumb from the corner of your mouth as you chew pensively on a slice of tomato. The sky is a blackened bruise behind you, disappearing into the balm of a soft, glowing orange.

“You were my deadcrush back in the day.” You mutter, hiding your lips with the tomato. Bucky stops mid-chew and freezes completely, unsure if the confession is just another trick his mind is playing on him. Maybe a breeze in the wind just sounds like your voice. “Not to make this weird…” you supply almost fearfully.

“Oh…”

“I mean— you know, it was totally normal. All the girls either liked Captain America or Sergeant Barnes.” You stuff the tomato in your mouth and reach for another just to busy your hands. Bucky’s face heats up like the morning, and he takes a sip of orange juice to calm it down.

“Sure,” you ramble onward, tomato flinging around between your fingers as you gesture back and forth, “I mean, most of them liked Cap— golden lion boy and all—hero’s journey kind of thing… I guess I felt, closer to you.”

You exhale deeply, “When you first came to the tower, I thought I was dreaming. Can you imagine? I felt like I was in the sixth grade.”

His brow furrows as he ponders your question. “Is that why you’re so nice to me?” It slips out before he can catch it, but it doesn’t bother you in the slightest.

“Probably at first,” You admit with a little shrug, “But eventually the schoolgirl crush thing went away, and I started liking you way more. Genuinely, y’know? Not under the thumb of a paltry, fleeting thing.”

He forgets how unexpectedly introspective you can be.

The tomato in your hand is only a shimmer of juice on your fingers now and you reach for something else to occupy yourself lest you become reduced to just weighing your hands together out of nervousness. You pause when Bucky asks, shocked, “You l-like me?”

Then, a smile, against the warming backdrop, he thinks you look like something out of a painter’s imagination—a delicate page from Steve’s notepad. A gentle breeze picks up your lashes, makes you squint a little.

“Yeah. I like you a lot.”

How does someone say such a heavy thing so easily? Bucky turns hot all over, heart beating too fast from your statement and the coffee made too strongly. “Thank you.”

You laugh and throw your head back for a second before shaking your hair wildly and sitting up, as if you’re discarding something. Light bounces off your cheeks as you catch your breath and take the coffee thermos from him. “You’re welcome, Bucky.” Then, softer, “Look.”

A streak of yellow opens up the sky in the east, melting away the ink around it into flames of blood orange and cerise. Still twinkling are the stars entrenched in deep blue further away.

“I’m not dead anymore.” He states plainly. “I can’t be your deadcrush if I’m not dead anymore.”

A chortle escapes- snorts and scoffs and not at all what he expects when you push your hand to your face and laugh in such a way that he might for a split second find it unattractive. But he doesn’t. He finds it so truly endearing that his heart swells like clouds over the morning sky.

A part of him quiets with the settling feeling of disappointment. Your silence gets swirled around in the next bitter mouthful of coffee and Bucky kicks his heel aimlessly against the concrete rooftop. To his left, you scoot a little closer, reach over and take the thermos from his hand. Your fingers linger, and then you put the container down.

“Bucky,” You say. His name so sweetly rolls off your tongue he can taste it—spun sugar and molasses in his mouth. It’s orange and yellow and blue behind you. Your eyes glisten with promise, as sure as the sunrise.

“You can want things, like love.”

It’s so forthright it punches the air right out of him. Before he knows it, you are leaning forward with a smile, planting a tender kiss on his cheek as he stares on open-mouthed and in awe.

And then, you break the moment with a yawn covered by your hand and groan as fatigue slips over like a blanket. “Oh fuck, I am beat, Sarge. Why’d you let me stay up so late?”

He only smiles before he puts his hand over yours for just a moment. “Come on,” He says, “I’ll help you clean up.” But the moment changes again, and he finds himself crawling past the containers of egg and toast, nearly knocking over the juice to hover over your mouth.

Coffee and cream linger between hesitant lips. Then there is a feverish clash-- you, clambering to sit up, to match him in enthusiasm-- him, bold enough to meet your surge with two large hands. He snakes them around your waist, crushing your torso to his.

Your fingers create a separation between your stomachs as you ruck his shirt up, gripping his chest and back and digging into his shoulder. A sharp breath escapes before he comes to snuff it out, licking your mouth, sucking on your tongue.

“Jesus.” You mutter when you break away for air, eyes still closed, “God. Okay. This is happening.”

Bucky laughs and sits back, places his hand on your bare thigh, shaking his head. “I—yeah, well maybe not here.”

“Yeah- yeah, of course… I .. get so caught up.”

He laughs again, because he knows. It’s why you haven’t slept all night, why you made a feast for just two people watching a sunrise, why you ramble on about the most mundane things but somehow still enrapture him, and it’s why he likes you. Your cheeks burn when the first ray of sunshine shoots over the tree scape.

A ding next to your hand catches his attention—a text from Steve.

You peer at it curiously before opening the message. Bucky looks too, and sees the image of the same sunrise he’s witnessed, but over the familiarity of the East Side sprawl.

A second message appears, Steve grinning, Peter winking.

A third one with a single, cheeky question: You and Buck doin’ good?

Bucky slips his shirt back down his golden torso while you tap out a furious response, groaning at the way you’ve been set up by your friends. Before you can send it, he takes the device from you and places it face-down on the roof with a smile. “Are we?” He asks, suddenly shy. “Doin’ good?”

Quietly, you nod.

In the middle of a second kiss, Bucky knows he’s done for. He’s falling hard and fast and can’t stop.

In the middle of a third kiss, you’re there next to him, all smiles and wonder as the two of you plunge together.

Part 2

[formula365]

The Greatest of All Time - Imola Grand Prix review

It’s Christmas in 2004, and Maranello is a happy place. Ferrari has just crushed their opposition, winning 15 of the 18 races to claim a sixth consecutive constructors’ championship. And it wasn’t just another title: this was one of their most dominant, the F2004 a car so quick that in their first test at their private track in Fiorano they thought something was wrong with the track sensors. This hadn’t quite been the same level of dominance as 2002, when they scored as many points as all the other teams combined, but was pretty close.

Going into the next season, everyone expected Ferrari would be fending off challengers but staying on top. Just as in 2003, the competitors should be closing the gap a bit, but the Scuderia should remain the team to beat. Such was the quality of the 2004 car that the team led by Ross Brawn decided to evolve the car to adapt to the regulations tweaks of 2005, rather than work on an entirely new design.

But as the cars hit the track in Melbourne, it became clear the competition had more than caught up. The 2005 car was only supposed to make his debut in round 5 in Barcelona, but given the poor results in the first two races, its debut was brought forward to round 3 in Bahrain. It didn’t matter: plagued with aerodynamics issues, a gearbox too big and Bridgestone tyres that were losing the performance battle to Michelin, the F2005 won a single race, and only because all the teams using Michelin refused to race in the now infamous US GP, due to safety concerns.

At the time, it seemed impossible such a downturn in fortune could happen. The all-conquering Ferrari, the first team ever to win 6 championships in a row, had fallen off a cliff, finishing a distant third in the standings. No one had seen that coming, least of all those running the team itself.

What does this have to do with this weekend’s race? Obviously, everything. As expected since pretty much the first round of the season, Mercedes has just confirmed their seventh consecutive world title with four races to spare, beating Ferrari’s record, while reaching performance levels similar to those 2002 and 2004 titles. Just like Ferrari, they are at their peak, but the difference is that they show no signs of slowing down or becoming the c-word: complacent.

Ferrari’s 2005 season is a cautionary tale for any team dominating their sport: don’t take anything for granted; this is exactly what Mercedes have always done. Through every regulation change, they have continuously pushed the boundaries on every single level, taking every defeat as a chance to improve, and turning every setback into an opportunity. In what team principal Toto Wolff has described as a relentless drive to perfection, they keep on pushing when most, convinced their superiority would keep them ahead, would have relaxed.

A good example is the improvement made to their engine in this off-season. Clearly beaten by Ferrari in 2019, the team led by Andy Cowell worked to get back on top, not knowing that the only reason the Ferrari engines were so ahead was due to some shenanigans that weren’t entirely legal. The result is that the Mercedes engine took a leap forward in 2020, while Ferrari’s moved backwards, making the increased performance on the back of the Silver Arrows look even more impressive.

There is regular debate among F1 fans about who is the greatest driver of all time; now that Hamilton is beating pretty much every meaningful record, this debate is hotter than ever. But there is less debate about which is the best team, and that is because there are very few arguments left against this incarnation of Mercedes. It’s not just that they make the best car: it’s also that they keep winning even when they don’t have it. There were periods throughout 2017 and 2018 in which Ferrari had the best car on the grid, but due to driver performance or strategy calls, Mercedes would end up winning races that, on paper, it shouldn’t have won.

To me, there is no doubt that this is the best team F1 has ever seen. Through regulation changes, personnel departing and adversaries’ improving, they have kept pushing, onwards and upwards, relentlessly searching those marginal gains, those milliseconds that keep adding up to big advantages. Once this phase is over and someone else is spraying the champagne, we will have the time to really appreciate what they have achieved. But we are not there yet, and their records will keep improving, their chunk of F1 history becoming larger and larger.

Nothing lasts forever, especially if you don’t work hard to keep it going; this is particularly true in F1, where nothing stands still for long: blink, and someone has replaced you on the top step of the podium. That’s what happened at Maranello when preparing that 2005 car. That moment is still to happen to Mercedes, but no one is betting on it happening just yet.

Talking points

•  The rookie class of 2019 has been having a torrid time of late, and if Norris at least got himself on the points after three scoreless races, the weekend was far less kind to his friends. Russell had a first points finish within his grasp when he crashed, in P10, behind the safety car. He will pick himself up and be better for it, but right now it has to hurt. It’s not the first time either, as he lost opportunities at Hockenheim last year and at Mugello. He really needs to take his first points to get this monkey off his back.

Albon, on the other hand, is running out of opportunities to show Red Bull he deserves another year in the senior team. He spun at the restart and ended up at the back of the field, but even before that he was not capable of making a dent in the race. Granted, overtaking at Imola is not easy, but this was another lacklustre weekend from him. Even those like him who hope he does get the nod are finding it hard to come up with reasons why Red Bull should keep him.

•  Could Daniel Ricciardo be wondering if he made the right call in choosing McLaren over Renault? While the papaya team are moving backwards, Renault are improving by leaps and bounds, and this weekend saw him score his second podium in three races. The French team are probably now the favourites to claim third in the championship, which might make him wonder if he should have waited for a few races of 2020 before making this decision.

•  This podium was ultimately thrown away by Racing Point’s decision to pit Perez behind the Safety Car, when the Mexican was running third. To be fair to them, it was a hard call, since they had no way of knowing what those behind them would do. If Perez had been the only one staying out, he would have been vulnerable and would all be criticising the team for not pitting him. In any case, the only reason Checo was in contention anyway was the brilliant strategy to run long on the medium tyres, that had allowed him to leapfrog pretty much the whole midfield.

•  On the other side of the pink garage, Lance Stroll is in dire need of a reset. His Monza podium is looking like a curse, with the Canadian driver scoreless since then. To add injury to a dismal weekend, he even hit a mechanic in his second pit stop.

•  First double-points finish of the season for Alfa Romeo, with a rocket start from Giovinazzi and another steady race from Kimi. Their are winning the battle of the backmarkers, and it will take a miracle for Haas to take P8 from them now.

•  I wrote in my preview about drivers about to drop off the grid for 2021 and hoping they can enjoy and give us some good memories. That was exactly what Kvyat did: as his unlucky teammate was forced to retire from P5, the Russian had a fantastic race, clinging on to the back of Leclerc and Albon’s cars, and then using a fresh set of soft tyres to beat them and Perez at the restart. For a moment it seemed like he could even challenge Ricciardo for the podium, but, as it was, P4 was a brilliant result. Helmut Marko all but confirmed he would lose his seat at the end of the year, but if that is to happen, this is an impressive calling card for his job search.

•  So much talk about track limits, weekend after weekend. To me, this is the simplest of debates: the track limits are the white lines, and if you are going over them, you need to brake earlier. Done. Drivers who want to not have to worry about this should probably be considering moving to IndyCar.

•  McLaren are still in the fight for third in the championship, but not by much. They continue to maximise their results almost every weekend, but this time around they didn’t seem to be able to compete even with AlphaTauri. The development of the car has brought them backwards, and this must be a big concern for Andreas Seidl. With the cars remaining largely the same next year, they need to start making progress on this front sooner rather than later; otherwise, losing P3 in 2020 will be the least of their concerns.

•  Can Esteban Ocon get a lucky break? His return season has been underwhelming, but his luck with reliability has been abismal as well.

•  Oh, and while we are at it, can Vettel get a lucky break? Fantastic race from the German with a broken front end plate, only to be wrecked by a pit stop 11 (eleven!) seconds slower than normal. 2021 can’t come soon enough for him.

[minervacasterly]

Real Life Horror (Plantagenet edition): Popular Terror aka Mob Rule

One of my favorite episodes of The Orville had to do with the team going down on a planet that follows the rule of mob mentality. People are judged based on how many dislikes they get by their fellow comrades. If they do something that is deemed "offensive", they are forced to go on an apology tour where they have to subject themselves to public humiliation. If they fail to the people over, all hell breaks loose. This bizarre form of government is not hard to digest when we take into account it has happened before (and given how history tends to repeat itself, it can happen again). In 1381, four years after he ascended to the throne, Richard II faced the peasant's revolt. The movement, as pointed out by historians Julian Baker and Dan Jones, was initially fragmented but it quickly gained momentum. By the summer of that year, whole towns had risen up against the ruling classes, including the high clergy, after their demands were ignored. The royal family was forced to seek sanctuary, and with Richard II in the hands of his enemies, there seemed little hope for them. But then things turned around for them. After Richard II turned the tables on Wat Tyler and his associates, he publicly declared to the common folk who had joined the revolt that he'd spare them, and that if they expected a kinder king, they were dead wrong. "Vileins you are, vileins you will be." Long story short, if they thought their living conditions were bad before, they hadn't seen nothing yet. The King was the King and he was within his authority to rule the country as he pleased. And if they were born in the position they were born into, tough luck. They had no other choice in life but to endure and pray for forgiveness and move on, or carry on with their complaints which would get them nowhere. To get you an idea how bad this mob was, think back to Game of Thrones season 2, the King Landing's riot, when the commons nearly killed Cersei and raped Sansa. George R. R. Martin has gone on record, saying how much inspiration he took from European history. Given all the historical parallels we've seen with other events on the show, it is not far-fetched to say, that part of these riots were based on the peasant's revolt. People who criticize the show for being too violent have NO idea how terrible the source material is. It makes the show look tame in comparison. Just as the end of that episode of the Orville where one of the main characters is saved thanks to one of the inhabitants who helps the crew manipulates the score so he will get more likes than dislikes; Richard II and his family mildly avoided the terrible fate that befell many clerics, noblemen, and other victims of this mob by taking advantage of the leaders, namely Tyler, in their moment of perceived victory. Besides beating down Richard II's officials and tearing them limb from limb, they also proceeded to burn down jail and legal offices. They also went after everyone who was associated with these people, delighting themselves in their bloody handiwork. In historian, Dan Jones' words "piling their corpses in the streets". The following morning the rebels raced to the tower of London where they hoped to find the King and his officials . The King was not there but some of his officials were, including one of his high clerics was. He was dragged out to Tower Hill and decapitated, his head stuck on a pole for everyone to see. After the King and his ministers restored order, harsher penalties were imposed on the commons. As one of the characters of the Orville tells the inhabitant who helps them free their friend, having a say is something that should not be freely given but earned. The Plantagenets would have agreed with that ... to a certain extent. In their view, anyone worthy of being an officer, should rise by his own merits. But if that person happened to be the son of a favorite or a loyal supporter then screw it. He would be favored over the son of a nobody who had worked harder than anyone else to get to that position. Nonetheless, Richard II's actions were praised by his noble subjects at the time. When he was deposed by Henry IV, they continued to be well seen. It was not until later in his reign that his actions were condemned. Ironically, his actions would be emulated by none other than the dynasty that followed his, the Tudors. It was Elizabeth I who was quoted saying "know ye not I am Richard II?" Like Edward II and Cleopatra VII, who were two of history's greatest losers and tragic romantic figures respectively, Elizabeth I considered Richard II a sorrowful figure who had been unjustly dethroned by a jealous cousin. She often compared herself to him, and like he had done during the peasant's revolt, she took a firm stance against any of her subjects who questioned her rule. Knowing full well that you could never please the mob, she acted severely against their slightest complain. The mob could decry being treated unfairly. That was okay, but organize and form large groups to list their grievances was going too far. Damn if you do. Damn if you don't. It was impossible to please everyone. Having studied history, she had learned from the Plantagenets' example how dangerous it was to rely solely on popularity. The people respected a strong leader, someone who defied all their expectations. Given that she was condemned by both sides (Catholics and radical Protestants) on the basis of her gender, legitimacy, and faith, Bess opted to rule with an iron fist. Through the use of religious iconography and gifted playwrights, she transformed herself into a living goddess. She wasn't going to endure the public humiliations Henry II and other kings went through to be in the church's good graces. She was the church. And she sure as hell wasn't going to tolerate her clerics question her rule or turn the other way around when they were attacked by an angry mob. Whether you approve of her actions or not, time proved her to be right. The Orville and Game of Thrones end with the main characters narrowly escaping their bloody captors. But as with history, neither sees things changing any time soon. With civil war still raging on in Westeros, it won't be surprising to see another riot in King's Landing. As for The Orville, the only person wise enough to see how crazy her society is, is not going to make a difference. Her society is all too eager to bring people down and if she isn't careful, she might end up killed or given a lobotomy to appease the masses. Ultimately, mob mentality or majority rule is a terrible thing. A bad economy that leads to feelings of of disenfranchisement mixed in with charismatic leaders with big egos, leads to a reign of terror worse that puts any bloody spectacle from the Saw and other horror movies to shame.

[detectivesplotslies]

SPEAKING OF MUSICALS what’re some songs that fit some v3 ships or moments in the game? Atleast In your opinion

Oh boy. Some of these are gonna be dumb and biased as a warning. I don’t know how many will be ships but I definitely have some moments from the game/character thought ones. This is gonna be a long post cause I like throwing in lyrics SORRY! Anon I hope you don’t regret this lmaoThis is getting…. very long so I think I’m gonna put them under the cut! :’DThere’s some Wicked, Chicago, Avenue Q, Scarlet Pimpernel, Hamilton, Into the Woods, RENT, The Greatest Showman, Little Shop of Horrors, The Producers, Come From Away and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along BlogThere’s some Oumota, Saimatsu, Saiibo, and loose Saiouma in here, but also a few more general ones!

As most of you know, I have a Oumota Wicked AU, but there’s one song I’d like to point out that’s not for the ship that I quite like for the character in question, and that’s Wonderful, for Tsumugi. This one I found to be a great one for comparing what she does there in that au with some actual stuff in the game.Have some lyrics! I guess I just - wanted to give the citizens of Oz everything.

So you lied to them.

Elphaba, where I’m from, we believe all sorts ofthings that aren’t true. We call it“history.”A man’s called a traitor or liberatorA rich man’s a thief or philanthropistIs one a crusader or ruthless invader?It’s all in which labelIs able to persistThere are precious few at easeWith moral ambiguitiesSo we act as though they don’t exist 

—Another song, this one I discussed in a discord server with some awesome friends so not taking full credit for it, is We Both Reached For the Gun from Chicago for Kokichi and Gonta. The interview plays like the setup trial and while not exact is DEFINITELY an awesome play on the vibe and how it was done. Puppetry and motives running the entire show~! Also has some of the best choreography! And when the reporter starts agreeing that there is Shuichi proving it all.

Then describe it.He came toward me.With the pistol?From my bureau.Did you fight him?Like a tiger.He had strength and she had none.And yet we both reached for the gunOh yes, oh yes, oh yes we bothOh yes we bothOh yes, we both reached forThe gun, the gun, the gun, the gunOh yes, we both reached for the gunFor the gun.

—

The next one might be a weird one, and the dramatic delivery might not suit her as much, but I associate Falcon in the Dive from The Scarlet Pimpernel with Maki in chapter 5. It’s about a manhunt, hunting down an enemy, and how your own morals are already done and it’s up to you. There’s a bit of conflict in it about being bitter about it too and it fits some characterization I wish they had shown there there. It plays in with the memories they barely have as well. Have some lyrics!

There was a dream - a dying ember.There was a dream - I don’t remember …but I will resurrect that dream,though rivers stream and hills grow steeper.For here in hell, where life gets cheaper -oh, here in hell, the blood runs deeper.And when the final duel is near,I’ll lift my spear and fly.Piercing into the sky, and higher!And the strong will thrive!Yes, the weak will cower,while the fittest will survive!If we wait for the darkest hour‘til we spring alive,then with claws of fire,we devour like a falcon in the dive. —In a lighter tone, There is Life Outside Your Apartment from Avenue Q is a Kaito drags sidekicks to training song, I dare you to prove me otherwise.  When I say “everyone”, that includes you!There is life outside your apartmentI know it’s hard to conceive,but there’s life outside your apartment,and you’re only gonna see it if you leave.There is cool shit to do,but it can’t come to you.And who knows, dude,you might even score!There is life outside your apartment,but you’ve got to open the door!No, thanks, I’m staying in.Don’t tell me I gotta force you.Sorry!All right everyone! He’s resisting! —OKAY so if you follow me by now you know I really enjoy Kokichi. When I was looking for songs, @dykeenvy reminded me of this one and it fits Chapter 5 Kokichi so well, so shoutout to them! Last Midnight from Into the Woods for Kokichi. It’s the point where everyone’s arguments and blame (from the song Your Fault! which is ALSO a good V3 song, it’s like… every trial) turns to the witch and she’s done with them and it’s great, specifically this lyrical sequence! You’re so nice You’re not good You’re not bad You’re just nice I’m not good I’m not nice I’m just right I’m the witch You’re the world  I’m a hitch I’m what no one believes I’m the witch You’re all liars and thieves Like his father Like his son will be, too Oh, why bother? You’ll just do what you do

—

OKAY now onto some more dialogue heavy stuff! Non-Stop from Hamilton for Kokichi & Shuichi! Let me explain. Kokichi I find is very like Hamilton, making himself the center of it all, writing, not stopping, going at it all, making enemies but overall doing more and more ambitious. Meanwhile Shuichi is a lot more like Burr, says less, but knows what he’s doing, and bewildered by Hamilton’s methods. Keeps his cards close to his chest until he needs them. Kokichi writing like he’s running out of time is so very very in character. It just fits him SO WELL. It could even represent Kokichi’s attempt to partner with him in chapter 4 and being turned down. Some lyrics! Why do you always say what you believe?Why do you always say what you believe?Ev'ry proclamation guarantees free ammunition for your enemiesWhy do you write like it’sGoing out of style?Write day and night like it’sGoing out of style?Ev'ry day you fight like it’sGoing out of style—On a more somber note, I think The Story of Tonight from Hamilton has great post game VR AU feels for the survivors and maybe Rantaro too in the midst of causing Team Danganronpa some disastrous reactions to their forced ending. I love aus where they are getting legal repercussions and the cast is being held, the dead maybe even still under, until it’s worked out and I think this fits here

I may not live to see our glory! (I may not live to see our glory!)But I will gladly join the fight! (But I will gladly join the fight!)And when our children tell our story… (And when our children tell our story…)They’ll tell the story of tonightLet’s have another round tonight (Let’s have another round tonight)Let’s have another round tonightRaise a glass to freedomSomething they can never take awayNo matter what they tell youRaise a glass to the four of us Tomorrow there’ll be more of usTelling the story of tonightThey’ll tell the story of tonight —

Okay, another shoutout to @dykeenvy and the Yeehonk! server for this one since we chatted about it in there BUT - Take Me or Leave Me from Rent is an Oumota song. The energy, the stances, the stubborness. It is ALL THERE. A tiger in a cageCan never see the sunThis diva needs her stage, babyLets have funYou are the one I chooseFolks will kill to fill your shoesYou love the lime light to now babySo be mine but don’t waste my timeCryin’, “Oh, honey bear are you still my, my, my baby?”Take me for what I amWho I was meant to beAnd if you give a damnTake me baby or leave me —

I’d be remiss to not do another Tsumugi song, given who I am. So I’m bringing up Opening Night from The Producers for Tsumugi. For her ending disaster and the audience complaints during the PTA segment! I just… really like to think it was a all blamed on her sometimes hahah. Sorry mugi.He’s done it againHe’s done it againMax Bialystock has done it againWe can’t believe itYou can’t conceive itHow’d he achieve it?It’s the worst show in town!We sat there sighingGroaning and cryingThere’s no denyingIt’s the worst show in townOh, we wanted to stand up and hissWe’ve seen shit, but never like this

—

Okay for this one just… hear me out. The Other Side from The Greatest Showman for Oumota. A circus ringleader and a respectable patron of the arts walk into a bar, argue about their reputations a bit, make a deal and talk about living a little. Clowns are even mentioned. I mean come on! Don’t you know that I’m okay with this uptown part I get to play‘Cause I got what I need and I don’t want to take the rideI don’t need to see the other sideSo go and do like you doI’m good to do like meAin’t in a cage, so I don’t need to take the keyOh, damn! Can’t you see I’m doing fineI don’t need to see the other side

Now is this really how you like to spend your days?Whiskey and misery, and parties and plays

If I were mixed up with you, I’d be the talk of the townDisgraced and disowned, another one of the clowns

But you would finally live a little, finally laugh a littleJust let me give you the freedom to dream And it’ll wake you up and cure your achingTake your walls and start ‘em breakingNow that’s a deal that seems worth takingBut I guess I’ll leave that up to you —

Kokichi in ships is always a troublesome thing, as he’s got a lot of issues with himself too, so I think Leave from Once is very Kokichi. Oof. Sorry this one is mostly angst fodder. I can’t wait forever is all that you saidBefore you stood upAnd you won’t disappoint meI can do that myselfBut I’m glad that you’ve comeNow if you don’t mindLeave, leave,And free yourself at the same timeLeave, leave,I don’t understand, you’ve already goneAnd I hope you feel betterNow that it’s outWhat took you so longAnd the truth has a habitOf falling out of your mouthBut now that it’s comeIf you don’t mindLeave, leave,And please yourself at the same time

—

Now for something completely different! Meek Shall Inherit from Little Shop of Horrors for Shuichi! Moral dilemmas, biases and making terrible decisions for the sake of people liking him after his ‘success’ starts building. Oof. Sorry Shuichi, I know Seymour’s not the most moral character but the comparison is there a bit. My future’s startingI’ve got to let itStick with that plantAnd gee my bank account will thriveWhat am I saying?No way, forget itIt’s much too dangerous to keep that plant aliveI take these offersThat means more killingWho knew success would come with messy nasty strings?I sign these contractsThat means I’m willingTo keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things

—

Now for a different ship! My Freeze Ray from Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog for Saimtasu. I think it outlines Shuichi’s anxiety when trying to get close to Kaede pretty well, and also how little he knows about her at the start, but is still cute! With my freeze ray I will stop the worldWith my freeze ray I willFind the time to find the words to

Tell you howHow you makeMake me feelWhat’s the phrase?Like a foolKinda sickSpecial needsAnyways —

One more. This ship’s just one of my comfort ones and of course I’m giving it angst. Stop the World from Come From Away for Saiibo. Specifically at the end of trial 6, where they know everything;s coming down, shuichi and the survivors made their choice, and Kiibo’s going to self destruct, and everything;s going to end, but they all get one more goodbye. Agh Kiibo didn’t need to go then and it makes me sad.  Stop the worldSeize the momentBut the minute he goes you’re alone, and it’s through pinch yourselfTell yourself:“You’re just dreaming, that means he’ll forget about you”

But here we areWhere the continents once crashed togetherBefore they went their separate ways forever, so stop the world

—Sorry for rambling so very LONG anon. Hope you enjoy these, maybe you’ll find a new song today :’D

[alexsmitposts]

Devastating Revelations About the Truth Behind the Destruction of MH17 On 17 July 2014 MH 17, a Malaysian airlines flight en route from Amsterdam in The Netherlands to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia was shot down while in transit over Ukrainian airspace. Although there were no admissions as to culpability and at least initially very little factual data available, it did not stop an immediate blame game being promoted by the Dutch, Ukrainian and Australian governments. The Netherlands (189 citizens on board) and Australia (27 citizens plus some non-citizen residents), were together with the Malaysians (44 citizens) the countries to suffer the greatest losses. An inquiry group was immediately set up. This was the first clue that the investigation was not destined simply to establish what had happened, but had wider geo political motives. The inquiry group consisted of the Netherlands, Australia, Ukraine and Belgium. The last named country lost only one citizen. In the absence of any plausible reason for including that country, the fact that it serves as NATO headquarters in what was turning out to be a major anti-Russian exercise is the probable reason for their inclusion. The inclusion of Ukraine was even less understandable. As the country over which the disaster occurred it was an obvious candidate for the suspect list of being responsible for what was manifestly not an accident but a deliberate destruction of a civilian airliner, and hence the murder of all those on board. That this was not going to be an honest and objective inquiry into the shooting down of MH 17 was reinforced by the fact that the four original nations signed a secret non-disclosure agreement, the key component of which for present purposes was that there would be no public announcements unless all four nations unanimously agreed. This must be the first time in recorded history where a potential prime suspect is given a veto over the investigation. The other factor that raised suspicion among independent analysts was that the existence of this agreement was not widely publicised. To this author’s knowledge, it has never been publicised in the Australian mainstream media. The Malaysians, whose plane it was, refused to sign that agreement. They were initially excluded from the official inquiry, although as we now know, they instigated their own investigation. This included, inter alia, sending a team to the Ukraine where they were able to recover the plane’s “black box”, which they retained for analysis despite attempts by the British to recover the boxes before the Malaysians had completed their investigation. One other factor that proved to be of crucial importance was the claim by John Kerry, the then United States Secretary of State, that the Americans knew what had happened because their satellites, in stationary orbit over what was a war zone involving Ukrainian government and Dombas region Russian speaking objectors to the fascist coup that had earlier that year, with United States assistance, overthrown the elected Ukrainian government. The wider geopolitics are crucial to an understanding of the tragedy and its sequelae. More than five years after the shooting down of MH 17 a trial finally commenced in the Netherlands, with four accused: three Russian and one Ukrainian citizen. No doubt to the surprise of the Dutch prosecutors, one of the accused, the Russian Oleg Pulatov was legally represented at the trial. There were other unpleasant surprises waiting for the Dutch prosecution team, whose jurisdiction to actually prosecute the crime is, to say the least, extremely dubious. The trial commenced earlier this month (March 2020) and after two days of hearings has been adjourned to 8th June 2020. The presiding Dutch judge (of a judicial panel of three) has given the prosecution team a very unpleasant surprise. He has made an order that the prosecution provide the photographs from the American spy satellites, whose existence had been alleged by Mr Kerry, as well as Dutch politicians, to have photographed the whole incident. These photographs are crucial, assuming they exist and there is no reason to doubt your existence. There is very good reason to believe that the Russians have identical photographs from their satellites, similarly in orbit over the war zone. The Russians however, have chosen not to publicise that fact. Before looking at further relevant evidence one can draw a preliminary conclusion about the photographs. If they in fact showed MH 17 being shot down not only by a Russian missile fired by a Russian or Russian armed team, it would be a devastating rebuttal of both separatist and Russian denials that they were in any way responsible for the tragedy. Instead of producing what could be compelling evidence of culpability, for nearly 6 years the unsubstantiated claim that there was photographic evidence of what happened, and by implication proving Russian and/or separatist responsibility has been allowed to fester in the western media without this crucial photographic evidence actually being produced. By far the most plausible explanation for the withholding of the photographic evidence is that it does not support the long running Western claim that Russia or Russian supported separatists were responsible. Support for this proposition comes from another source, independent of both the Russians and the Ukrainian separatists. First, contrary to the claim made by Dutch parliamentarians, a Dutch military intelligence report dated 21 September 2016 stated that the Dutch government had received no satellite imagery from the Americans. That this statement is completely contradictory of the official version tirelessly promoted by the Dutch, Ukrainian and Australian governments, adds to its authenticity. The Dutch intelligence services however, deserve further credit for honesty. Two reports were prepared by the Dutch military intelligence chief Major-General Onno Eickelsheim and released on the same day. The reason the contents of the General’s reports have not been publicised in the western media is that they directly contradict the western propaganda narrative. According to the reports, the details of which can be read on the Australian (but Moscow resident) investigative journalist John Helmer’s website (Dances With Bears) Eickelsheim reported that no Russian BUK missiles had been fired on or anywhere near that vicinity. This is directly contrary to the propaganda promoted by the British disinformation agent who writes under the nom de plume “Bellingcat”, and whose misinformation is faithfully quoted at regular intervals in the western mainstream media. It is significant that Eickelsheim’s report has never seen the light of day in the western media. That evidence is yet to be presented at the trial of the four accused. It is a fairly safe bet that it will be used by the defence. When, as one suspects, the prosecution is unable to comply with the Judge’s order to produce the alleged photographic evidence of a BUK missile shooting down MH 17, or more particularly, a Russian BUK missile, and the devastating evidence of General Eickelsheim is also presented, it is very difficult to see how the prosecution can be maintained. There are multiple victims of this tragedy. They are not only the unfortunate passengers and crew on MH 17, and their families who have endured lies and deception from governments who had evidence of a radically different sequence of events, but also through silence and falsehoods, where those governments sought to maintain a damaging and untrue narrative. It is probably a vain hope, but those families, the separatists and the Russian government, deserve a profound apology for the years of sustained deceit and lying.

[davidmann95]

Thoughts on Calvin Ellis?

Calvin Ellis is fascinating, because while I’ve said before that Superman having “the American Way” tacked on after the fact to his list of virtues doesn’t really work when creators are on a number of fronts hard-pressed to center his stories around that in the same way as Captain America, this Superman is built explicitly to reckon with that. He’s built in the idealized image of an incoming President at a moment of transformative change, only to stick around for that President in question to become more visible as a human with massive successes and horrible flaws, and then not be President at all. He’s Superman Plus, Superman ascendant and triumphant, the guy whose civilian identity works to make things better across the world while also President of an organization that defends the multiverse when wearing the cape. At the same time, he’s a Superman who lies to the American people on a scale Clark Kent never remotely approaches, a Superman who literally automates the business of representing and making decisions on behalf of the American people via Brainiac when he’s busy, a Superman who has to make decisions that will determine who lives and who dies. He’s a figure with different priorities and principles than Clark Kent even as his triumph over Superdoomsday clearly marks him as a ‘true’ Superman, and there’s diamond in that coal just waiting to be squeezed out. I’ve never been able to track down the quote, but I’m certain I once read Morrison mention that if he ever did any long-form Superman work again after Action Comics it was going to be with this guy, and that’s something I’d be fascinated by.

With all that said, something special under the cut!

So when Multiversity was still coming out…wow, four years ago, a few friends and I were really into Morrison’s proposition that these books could continue as ongoings, so we thought we’d come up with solicits for the individual titles, that I imagined would themselves ultimately come back together into another big event. We never finished them, but I did complete solicits for a year of President Superman adventures. Reproduced entirely unchanged from when I wrote them at 19 below, I also left in the commentary I tacked on to them.

PRESIDENT SUPERMAN #1

·        In thisoversized opening issue, 3 fantastic features!

·        First, TheOrigin of Superman! See how an orphan of the stars became Earth’s greatest hero,as both Superman, and United States President Calvin Ellis!

·        Bearwitness to the secrets of Fort Superman! From the Gates to the Underworld,where dwell the specters of Krypton’s greatest criminals, to First Dog Vathlo’sDen, to the varieties of Kryptonite–ranging from mind-bending Sapphire todeadly Emerald–all the secrets are revealed!

·        And in thedepths of the distant future, locked in battle with the Time Trapper, the 31stcenturies’ Super-Hero Squad look back on the formation of the mighty JusticeLeague International, and its greatest conflicts, crises and triumphs, for theclue to how to save their own history!

PRESIDENT SUPERMAN #2

·        America’sgreatest threat is at hand, and with a heavy heart President Ellis must rallythe nation against…Superman?!

·        How has itcome to this? It’s the Son of Krypton versus the military might of the USA!

·        Could theWhite House Science Fair hold the key to it all?

PRESIDENT SUPERMAN #3

·        CalvinEllis returns to his old hometown of Smallville to personally congratulate oldfriend of the family Professor Phineas Potter on his newly developed energysource, in order to raise national awareness of its possibilities.

·        But whenthe Professor is missing and his assistant lies dead, it’s up to the Man ofDiamond to solve the crime, the roots of which may stretch into Superman’s ownyouth!

PRESIDENT SUPERMAN #4

·        Beforetaking his oath of office, Calvin Ellis first made his name defending theinnocent and the helpless as a lawyer in Metropolis.

·        He’ll haveto put his legal expertise to the test when the Har-ZǶl abduct him to try anddefend their own commander-in-chief at his trial, when not a single individualon their planet is willing to do so!

·        If hedoesn’t find a way to exonerate their leader in spite of the mass of evidence,then by the laws of the Har-ZǶl the defender of the guilty must share theirfate! As time and hope run out, will Superman compromise his principles, evento save his own life?

PRESIDENT SUPERMAN #5

·        A bountyhas been placed on President Ellis’ head, and the supervillains of the worldare eager to claim the prize!

·        Even if hesurvives the attacks, how will Superman keep his other identity concealed inthe face of increasingly impossible escapes from doom?

·        He may havebigger things to worry about when Metallo enters the Kill-Race!

PRESIDENT SUPERMAN #6

·        After yearsof the U.N. attempting outreach, the Anti-World Htrea sends out an ambassadorto Earth—their greatest champion, Bizarro.

·        But inspite of Superman’s best efforts, the communication gap is left unbridged, andwar is at hand.

·        CanSuperman save two worlds when both regard him as a traitor? Even if he does,there may be no way to salvage the situation.

PRESIDENT SUPERMAN #7

·        Operatingin secret from the bowels of Fort Superman, Brainiac intends to utilize itsplanet-wide neural network to seize control of the entirety of human society!

·        Supermanmust battle against his own security systems in order to reprogram hisonce-faithful ally!

·        But whenBrainiac states it is merely acting to better the world as its master has, doesCal truly have a defense?

·        As Brainiacis offline, it’s up to Courtney to cover for the President in his absence!

PRESIDENT SUPERMAN #8

·        Seekingadvice in the wake of Brainiac’s attack, Superman journeys into the Multiverse!

·        OnEarth-30, Kalel meets that worlds own President Superman, ruler of aplanet-wide U.S.S.R.!

·        Looking outonto an Earth perfected by Kal-L, what conclusions might Superman come toregarding his own role?

PRESIDENT SUPERMAN #9

·        Underorders from the Guardians of Oa, Green Lantern John Stewart seizes control ofQurac!

·        Theirsuperhuman weapons program declared an unconscionable risk to Earth’sburgeoning meta population, Stewart is tasked with dismantling the nation andestablishing a new government to the Guardian’s specifications, even if itbrings him into conflict with his fellow J.L.I. members!

·        As the restof the team prepares for battle, Superman must wonder: is this wrong? And evenif so, can he challenge the authority of the Guardians of the Universe?

PRESIDENT SUPERMAN #10

·        In the wakeof GL’s occupation, Qurac’s former state-sponsored super team Onslaughtterrorizes the nation in the name of its absentee leaders, while theprovisional government accuses the U.S. as culpable for the actions of itscitizen.

·        With afull-fledged war a possibility, President Ellis wonders if Superman can weighin in the public eye.

·        He may haveto, if he’s to counter the pernicious influence of lobbyist and arms industrydarling Steven Flashman!

PRESIDENT SUPERMAN #11

·        Warbeckons.

·        Long ago,Superman swore never to take a life.

·        Must CalvinEllis break that vow in the face of his oath to serve as Commander-In-Chief,for what may be an unjust conflict?

PRESIDENT SUPERMAN #12

·        “Mybeautiful children…I’m sorry. Sorry for the compromises, the mistakes, the arrogance. So sorry for this world you have inheritedfrom me. You deserved better. All I have left to give is the truth.”

·        Somewhereamidst the ruined landscape of lost America, tarnished forever when the truthof its last President was revealed, the last hope for the future is dying.

·        Even if thefinal commanders of the Super-Society somehow manage to repeal time itself, canCal remain in his station, knowing what his mere presence may bring down on hisbeloved adopted world? Must Superman die to save the Earth? Or Calvin Ellis?

·        From thedepths of time…might the Super-Hero Squad offer another option?

Commentary

1: I figured if this was real, anorigin issue would be necessary, as Cal’s only shown up before a very smallhandful of times. Aside from the most obvious references (the only really evenslightly ‘off’ thing is the changes for the classification of Kryptonite), theSuper-Hero Squad are indeed E-23’s Legion. I figured by the 31stcentury the full extent of Superman’s role in the 21st is publicknowledge, and that the team that assembled in honor of him might be a touchmore regimented and formalized, hence the slightly more militaristic title. TheJLI has no connection to the bwa-ha-ha team, the title’s simply a reflection ofthe more multicultural makeup of the group here.

2: The culprit here is RubyKryptonite (Kalel’s equivalent to Red). I initially thought of having a newnecklace from Courtney be the source, but reconsidered having her one majorrole be as a source for jewelry and causer of problems—I think I gave her abetter role in issue 7, though if this were to continue on I’d try and give hermore to work with. So I recalibrated for the Science Fair, recalling an oldstory where some child amateur geologist shows Superman his mineral collection,including a Red K sample that causes problems. Really, this all just springsfrom the whole “Crazy Superman versus his sane, human other identity” conflicthaving much higher stakes here.

3: Based off the base of an ideafor Superman I’ve had for awhile of “Clark solves a murder in Smallville overthe course of several phases of his career”, tinkered with to fit here.

4: He didn’t just materialize inthe Oval Office one day. It’s certainly far from uncommon for politicians tocome from a career in law, something I could see Superman pursuing. I figuredthis would be a decent way of fitting that background into a story as a fittingcentral element. For the record, Superman doesn’t compromise his ethics, butthe punishments the Har-ZǶl turn out to be ridiculously lenient by ourstandards.

5: Like issue #2, a classic setup(Superman has to protect Clark), inherently ramped up.

6: The intermediary between theclassically influenced first half, and things getting quite dark indeed in thesecond.

7: As will be shown after I dofurther solicits, I’ve intended 7 and 8 to be significant issues in eachseries. 7 is both the ‘middle’ post-Multiversity issue for everything exceptPresident Superman, and a recurring digit of significance in Morrison’s work,so I’m trying to structure things to have the 7th issue be one ofsignificance in each series. Here, we see the start of Superman’s questioningof his role that defines the second half of my ‘run’.

8: Issue #8, meanwhile, is thecentral number of the Multiverse in Morrison’s conception of it, so each #8 inthese will be a Multiverse tale. I wanted to use Earths we’ve seen beforepresented in different contexts, and here we’ve got the universe of Red Son,with a Superman who has embraced his status as a ruler to the arguable publicgood, to contrast with the pushing-it but still mostly noninterventionistEllis.

9: Plunging into the big final arc,one I wanted to question some of the basic assumptions of Superman’s role inthe world, and of how Cal would have to work in particular. Here the big thingis that even though Superman has always refrained from using his powers on theworld stage, it’s always been an implicit concession that if he doesn’t, no oneelse will either. GL, working under the conniving and pragmatic Guardians andbeing on a cosmic level that they declare to be above any given planetsauthority, seemed a prime candidate for breaking that rule who couldn’t just bebrought down immediately.

10: Again, classic setup—willSuperman try to tell the public what he thinks they should do—shaken up by hisdirect role in the proceedings on both sides of the issue here. And yes, thatis “Funky”. He’ll be popping up again.

11: One of my first thoughts aboutSuperman as President is that, in that role, he is inevitably going to orderthe implementations of decisions that will end human lives, directlycontradicting the moral code it’s made clear he has in Action Comics #9. Hencehim working overtime to try and ensure peace. Here’s him faced with maybehaving no other option. Perhaps he intervenes covertly as Superman to preventcasualties, one interference that normally wouldn’t be abided on the part ofone identity to counteract the necessary actions of another? Even that’s adegree of deception in theory unbecoming of the Superman role. No matter what,there’s going to be a degree of moral compromise not present on the part of theclassic Superman. I figure it’s here Cal’s established as the utilitarian toClark’s socialist (relatively speaking).

12: Maybe my first thought of aPresident Superman book was of Calvin leaving a letter for his children in anation wrecked by the revelation of his double life. 50 to a hundred or soyears in the future, America’s place on the world stage has been decimated, theone meaningful seat of power being the collective of the Super-Society, agrouping of Calvin’s descendants, those of his worlds own Supergirl, and thoseof one or two Phantom Zone Prisoners having filled their sentences andgenuinely trying to repent such as Quex-Ul and Dev-Em. Eventually they manageto alter the timeline, with the Super-Hero Squad emerging from deep history totry and convince Cal to carry on. Obviously he does, as in theory this comiccontinues onwards (presumably at least on E-36 and E-41, since we know Cal’sadventures are published there), but the end of this issue itself leaves thingsup in the air regarding his final decision.

[sarcasticcynic]

The Mueller report details over a dozen of Trump’s attempts to obstruct official investigations (which is illegal). Mueller’s own words:

“Our investigation found multiple acts by the President that were capable of exerting undue influence over law enforcement investigations, including the Russian-interference and obstruction investigations. The incidents were often carried out through one-on-one meetings in which the President sought to use his official power outside of usual channels. These actions ranged from efforts to remove the Special Counsel and to reverse the effect of the Attorney General’s recusal; to the attempted use of official power to limit the scope of the investigation; to direct and indirect contacts with witnesses with the potential to influence their testimony.”

Trump’s obstruction efforts largely failed, but that does not render the attempted obstruction any less illegal. Again, Mueller’s own words:

“The President’s efforts to influence the investigation were mostly unsuccessful, but that is largely because the persons who surrounded the President declined to carry out orders or accede to his requests. [Former FBI Director James] Comey did not end the investigation of [Retired Lt. Gen. Michael] Flynn, which ultimately resulted in Flynn’s prosecution and conviction for lying to the FBI. [White House counsel Don] McGahn did not tell the Acting Attorney General that the Special Counsel must be removed, but was instead prepared to resign over the President’s order. [Former campaign manager Corey] Lewandowski and [Trump campaign official Rick] Dearborn did not deliver the President’s message to Sessions that he should confine the Russia investigation to future election meddling only. And McGahn refused to recede from his recollections about events surrounding the President’s direction to have the Special Counsel removed, despite the President’s multiple demands that he do so.”

For various reasons, Mueller decided that he would not make the call whether to charge Trump formally with trying to obstruct justice. The mountain of evidence against Trump, however, remains.

Some very specific examples of Trump’s efforts to obstruct investigations, with very specific evidentiary support:

Trump firing Directory James Comey: “Other evidence, however, indicates that the President wanted to protect himself from an investigation into his campaign,’ the report says, citing Trump asking Comey for ‘loyalty’ and Trump saying he should be able to tell the attorney general ‘who to investigate.’ The president ‘had a motive to put the FBI’s Russia investigation behind him,’ the report says, saying that ‘the evidence does indicate that a thorough FBI investigation would uncover facts about the campaign and the President personally that the President could have understood to be crimes or that would give rise to personal and political concerns.’

Trump’s efforts to limit the scope of the investigation to exclude the 2016 election (and therefore himself): “Two days after Trump had tried to have the special counsel removed, the president dictated a message that he wanted Lewandowski to take to Sessions. The message was actually the outline of a speech that Trump wanted Sessions to give. ... ‘Our POTUS ... is being treated very unfairly. He shouldn’t have a Special Prosecutor/Counsel b/c he hasn’t done anything wrong. I was on the campaign w/ him for nine months, there were no Russians involved with him. I know it for a fact b/c I was there. He didn’t do anything wrong except he ran the greatest campaign in American history. Now a group of people want to subvert the Constitution of the United States. I am going to meet with the Special Prosecutor to explain this is very unfair and let the Special Prosecutor move forward with investigating election meddling for future elections so that nothing can happen in future elections.’”

Trump’s efforts to cover up the now-infamous Trump Tower meeting: “Trump repeatedly directed his communications staff not to publicly disclose information about the meeting, and he rejected a proposed public statement from Trump Jr. that acknowledged the meeting was with ‘an individual who I was told might have information helpful to the campaign.’ ... On July 8, [Hope] Hicks said she brought to the president a draft statement about the meeting to be released by Trump Jr. Hicks told investigators that she wanted to disclose the entire story, but that Trump told her to ‘say only that Trump Jr. took a brief meeting and it was about Russian adoption.’ The president’s personal counsel later ‘repeatedly and inaccurately denied that the President played any role in drafting Trump Jr.’s statement.’”

Trump’s attempts to get a friendly attorney general to take over the investigation and investigate Hillary Clinton, and firing Jeff Sessions when he didn’t: “The President asked him [Sessions] to reverse his recusal so that Sessions could direct the Department of Justice to investigate and prosecute Hillary Clinton, and the ‘gist’ of the conversation was that the President wanted Sessions to unrecuse from ‘all of it,’ including the Special Counsel’s Russia investigation. ... In July 2017, Trump asked Staff Secretary Rob Porter if Associate Attorney General Rachel Brand was ‘on the team’ and would be interested in being the AG and in charge of the Russia investigation. ... Porter ... was uncomfortable with that, understood it to mean Trump wanted someone to end the Russia investigation, and didn’t do it. ... Trump fired Sessions the day after the midterm elections, Nov. 7, 2018. ... there’s evidence the president wanted Sessions to take control of the Russia investigation and ‘supervise it in a way that would restrict its scope.’ In the summer of 2017, Trump knew that he was being personally investigated for obstruction of justice, and that the investigation included his son and son-in-law, due to the Trump Tower meeting disclosure. Trump ... often suggested an attorney general should protect the president. ‘A reasonable inference from those statements and the President’s actions is that the President believed that an unrecused Attorney General would play a protective role and could shield the President from the ongoing Russia investigation.’”

Trump ordering Don McGahn to fire Mueller, and then ordering McGahn to cover up that Trump had ordered it: “Trump’s personal counsel called the attorney for White House counsel McGahn and relayed that Trump wanted McGahn to put out a statement denying a New York Times story that Trump had asked him to fire the special counsel. ... McGahn said the story was accurate on that point, and he refused to do it. McGahn told investigators that he was summoned to the Oval Office on Feb. 6, 2018, and that the president told him the Times story ‘did not “look good” and McGahn needed to correct it.’ McGahn said Trump disputed that he told McGahn to ‘fire’ the special counsel, and that he only wanted McGahn to raise conflict of interest issues with Rosenstein and let Rosenstein decide what to do. McGahn said he told the president his recollection of his marching orders differed, that he was told, ‘Call Rod [Rosenstein]. There are conflicts. Mueller has to go.’ McGahn refused to ‘do a correction.’ ... Trump also criticized McGahn for telling investigators that the president had asked him to have the special counsel removed, and for taking notes during their meeting. ‘Lawyers don’t take notes,’ Trump told him. ... ‘Substantial evidence indicates that in repeatedly urging McGahn to dispute that he was ordered to have the Special Counsel terminated, the President acted for the purpose of influencing McGahn’s account in order to deflect or prevent further scrutiny of the President’s conduct towards the investigation.’”

Trump bashing Michael Flynn for cooperating with the government, and supporting Paul Manafort for not cooperating: “After former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn withdrew from a joint defense agreement with Trump on Nov. 22, 2017, the president’s personal counsel told Flynn’s attorney’s the action showed ‘hostility’ toward Trump. After Flynn pleaded guilty to making false statements, the press asked Trump whether he would pardon Flynn. Trump said, on Dec. 15, 2017, ‘I don’t want to talk about pardons for Michael Flynn yet. We’ll see what happens. Let’s see. I can say this: When you look at what’s gone on with the FBI and with the Justice Department, people are very, very angry.’ Trump repeatedly, in press interviews and on Twitter, said Paul Manafort, his former campaign chairman, was being treated unfairly, during his prosecution and jury deliberations. Also, in January 2018, Manafort told former deputy campaign manager Richard Gates, who had been indicted along with Manafort on multiple felony counts at that point, that the president’s personal attorney had told him they would “take care of us.” Manafort told Gates they should “sit tight” and “we’ll be taken care of,” though he said no one used the word “pardon.’ ... the president’s counsel’s statements to Flynn’s counsel ‘could have had the potential to affect Flynn’s decision to cooperate, as well as the extent of that cooperation. ... there is evidence that the President’s actions had the potential to influence Manafort’s decision whether to cooperate with the government,’ and Trump’s public statements during the trial ‘had the potential to influence the trial jury.’ As for intent, the evidence ‘indicates that the President intended to encourage Manafort to not cooperate with the government.’”

Trump’s efforts to influence Michael Cohen‘s cooperation: “The report goes through Trump’s initially positive public and private messaging to Cohen following an FBI search in April 2018. During this period, the Trump Organization was paying Cohen’s legal fees, and Cohen remembers discussing a possible pardon with the president’s personal lawyer. But after reporting of Cohen’s decision to cooperate with the government in July 2018, Trump quickly shifted gears, calling Cohen a ‘rat’ and saying that Cohen’s family members might have committed crimes. ‘The evidence concerning this sequence of events could support an inference that the President used inducements in the form of positive messages in an effort to get Cohen not to cooperate ... and then turned to attacks and intimidation to deter the provision of information or undermine Cohen’s credibility once Cohen began cooperating.’ ... the special counsel repeatedly indicates that the evidence ‘could support an inference’ that Trump meant to discourage Cohen from cooperating because it would reflect negatively on the president. That is true for Cohen’s false testimony, which minimized connections between Trump and Russia, and for Trump’s attacks against Cohen’s family once he began cooperating, which the report says ‘could be viewed as an effort to retaliate against Cohen and chill further testimony adverse to the President by Cohen or others.’”

[thepattersonpost-blog]

Washington - The sound of silence is driving Washington to distraction.

The clearest signs yet that the monastic special counsel Robert Mueller may be about to file his final report with Attorney General William Barr have sent Beltway insiders to a state of nervous alert.But there is no report yet.So White House lawyers, Trump campaign flacks, key congressional offices and newsrooms are left counting the hours, poised to shape the end game of the most important investigation into a President's behavior in at least 20 years.

For everyone involved, it's like waiting for a jury in a big trial to reach its verdict: long stretches of edgy idleness are laced with the prospect of frenetic action and hugely consequential outcomes that could unfold at a moment's notice.

Mueller wait-and-see mode hangs over White House, too

This moment of political purgatory comes after a turbulent two years packed with revelations about covert contacts between associates of President Donald Trump and Russia, the sight of Trump acolytes being sent to jail after sensational court dramas and a ferocious campaign by the President to discredit Mueller.When he finally files his report, the special counsel will open a new chapter in the Russia story -- even though it could take weeks for most Americans to learn what he learned during his investigation.Depending on his conclusions, he could either lift the cloud of suspicion over alleged links to Russia that has darkened every day of the Trump administration.Or if he finds serious wrongdoing, Mueller could trigger a constitutional showdown that puts a presidency in peril.Trump, in an interview with Fox Business Network that was released Friday morning, spoke ominously about the aftermath of Mueller's report, saying "people will not stand for it" if the report casts him in a bad light.Rising tensions

Play VideoWhite House braces for release of Mueller report 02:08Just after sunrise Thursday, Mueller was met by camera flashes as he steered his car into the underground garage of the building where he has based his nearly two-year investigation into Russia's election meddling scheme.A suddenly swelled media pack, huddling with their cameras under umbrellas in a chilly late March deluge, waited outside all day, vainly on guard for activity that could give some indication Mueller's time was up.Tension simmered at the White House as the President's lawyers tested different scenarios that could ensue after Mueller files his report.Like everyone else in Washington, Trump's team was in the dark, thanks to the leak-proof cone of silence that has enveloped Mueller, who has barely uttered a public word since he took his commission two years ago."We're tea leaf reading like everyone else," one White House official said.Time hung heavy at the Justice Department. Reporters set up text chains to ensure that they didn't miss any breaking news on lunch or bathroom breaks.ABC reporter Mike Levine

wrote on Twitter

that he encountered Barr in the building and got a "death stare" when he asked him, "Is today the day?"In an information blackout, every anecdote is a potential clue.When Mueller's soon to depart right hand man Andrew Weissmann sported a tan suit Wednesday, reporters and legal insiders wondered whether his ensemble hinted at an end of term mood in the special counsel's office.The starchy Mueller, a former FBI director and decorated Marine, is famous for selecting a crisp white shirt, sober suit and neutral tie every morning, and encouraging subordinates to do the same.Signs of an imminent twist in the tale of the Russia story drew several key players back on stage.Former FBI Director James Comey, whose firing by Trump led to Mueller's appointment,

wrote in a New York Times op-ed

that even though he thought the President was morally unfit to serve, he wasn't hoping for him to be exposed as a criminal."I'm not rooting for anything at all, except that the special counsel be permitted to finish his work, charge whatever cases warrant charging and report on his work," Comey wrote.House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff

said in a pre-emptive shot in USA Today

that any attempt by Barr to cover up Mueller's findings would "stain the (Justice Department's) reputation for years to come."A fundraising committee affiliated with Trump's re-election campaign sought to fire up the President's base -- his best shield against a political death blow if the Mueller report contains damaging revelations."This Witch Hunt has been orchestrated by loser Democrats and their friends in the Fake News Media," the email read. "They claim they plan to release the report 'soon' but they've been saying that for OVER 2 YEARS."Closure is a long way off

Play VideoWH official: We're reading Mueller tea leaves like everyone else 02:53Despite the explosion of anticipation, there is every chance that when, Mueller's report is finally filed, there will be a sense of anti-climax.The first question will be a simple one."Is he in fact done?" said CNN legal analyst Michael Zeldin, a former colleague of Mueller."Is he telling the attorney general 'my investigation is over,' " Zeldin added.It may be days, weeks or even months before most of America learns what is in the report.According to Justice Department regulations, Mueller is required to file a confidential report with Barr. Then it will be up to Barr to decide how much of it can be disclosed to Congress and the public in his own report.Barr said in his recent confirmation hearing that favored transparency but only within the scope of department rules and the law. That led some Democrats to warn the administration could try to suppress Mueller's findings."The attorney general, as I understand the rules, would report to Congress about the conclusion of the investigation," Barr said in his hearing."I believe there may be discretion there about what the attorney general can put in that report," he said.Barr will also have to decide whether information in Mueller's assessment is likely to raise White House executive privilege assertions -- to protect consultations between the President and his closest advisers, or given that part of the probe is a counter-intelligence investigation should remain classified.Trump on Wednesday

muddied the waters

on the question of transparency, telling reporters that he would be happy for the report to be released.Yet his sincerity is questionable given a weekend tweet in which he appeared to advise Republicans in Congress to go ahead with the "game" around the report's disclosure.Only Mueller knows how he will file

Play VideoWhy Mueller cares about Donald Trump 01:44Mystery also clouds the kind of report that Mueller will file.One model would be for the special counsel to adopt a traditional, sparse prosecutorial approach to explain the cases he initiated and decisions he made not to charge other people linked to the case.Still, a pared-down approach would ignore the significant public interest in his investigation -- given that it involved a question of whether an elected President conspired with a foreign power to win election.Given the prevailing Justice Department opinion that a sitting President cannot be charged in a criminal case, it's possible that Mueller could put details of any incriminating conduct by Trump in his report.If Barr felt compelled to pass the information onto Congress, it would be up to lawmakers to decide whether to institute the constitutional duty of impeachment proceedings to judge presidential wrongdoing.The political storm

Play VideoNadler: Cannot use executive privilege to hide misconduct 02:10As soon as Mueller files his report, the game of expectations setting and vying for political advantage will begin.If Barr does not release something in short order, Democrats in Congress are likely to demand disclosure, armed with their subpoena power.And Washington being Washington, leaks can't be ruled out.Anything short of a finding that Trump aides openly colluded with Russia in 2016 and obstructed justice multiple times to cover it up -- for instance in the sacking of Comey -- is likely to be portrayed by the White House as a victory."This clears the decks for us," a Trump campaign adviser told CNN's Jim Acosta, reflecting a perceptible optimism in the President's camp in recent days that the report will not damage the commander in chief.Though the President still faces multiple criminal and civil investigations into his inauguration, transition, and personal and business affairs, exoneration by Mueller would be hugely significant.After repeatedly branding Mueller as an out of control prosecutor bent on a "witch hunt", Trump would seek to play up his sterling character. The Trump adviser even described the special counsel as a "boy scout" on Thursday.But the President has also taken care to road test an argument he could use in the opposite scenario, arguing that Mueller should never have been appointed, and that the investigation itself represents a de-facto political coup."I had the greatest electoral victory -- one of them -- in the history of our country. Tremendous success. Tens of millions of voters. And now somebody's going to write a report who never got a vote," Trump said Wednesday.Democrats are also gaming out how to respond to their report.

Critical findings by Mueller would immediately boost demands in the liberal grass roots for impeachment.But if Trump escapes censure, Democrats must consider whether their own vast investigation into Trump's life and political career could come across to voters in 2020 as overkill, and offer an opening to the President.

CNN's Em Steck, Laura Jarrett, Marshall Cohen and Kevin Liptak contributed to this report.

[brendancorris]

Thundercats Roar thoughts...

So a friend of mine showed me this trailer a few weeks ago, and for a second I didn’t believe it was real. But, before I get further into my thoughts on this thing everybody else on the internet has already covered, let me go into my history with Thundercats.

Despite never drawing much fan art for the series, Thundercats is a property I love, and one of the biggest parts of my life in my earliest years. Born in ‘86 with three older siblings, I was just in time for the original Thundercats. My family already consisted of die-hard fans, so it was naturally one of the first franchises I got into. From the time I was born to when I was about 4, Masters of the Universe and Thundercats were what it was all about. It wasn’t until ‘89 that I got my first TMNT toy, and about a year later that was literally all I cared about. 

But before my TMNT obsession, there was Thundercats. While I do have many fond memories of watching the show, my most beloved memories of it are simply being a fan. Collecting the action figures, listening to my siblings talk about the show, and playing Thundercats. Not a video game, though. On nights when my Mom was out, my Dad would host He-Man or Thundercats games where he’d be either Skeletor or Mumm-ra, my oldest sister and brother would be She-Ra and He-Man or Lion O and Cheetarah (while my other sister would be... somebody) and I, being the baby, would always get stuck being Orko or Snarf. All us kids would wrestle our dad and beat up on him as he’d try to defeat us. Epic stuff. Some how the younger of my two sisters would usually end up horribly injured after each game, though...

Simply put, Thundercats was the real deal with my family when I was little. The action was great, the evil beasts were awesome, the toys were a blast, and Cheetarah, along with the He-Man girls, made me feel things my tiny self wasn’t yet ready to feel. 

It wasn’t until I was in high school that I revisited the show, and, honestly, I was surprised how much it held up. Especially considering in high school I was “too cool for everything” yet I still acknowledged its quality. Yes, it was corny in the way all old children's’ shows were at the time (I have nothing but love for that tone, but I can see how it would be hard to digest for later generations), but it still had great, smart, sophisticated writing for its time, amazing animation and artwork, good characters, and one of the most hype intros ever.

In 2011 a reboot was made. This reboot was far darker and more built on political commentary. It was an understandable progression. The fans had grown up, so the franchise did too. While I wasn’t a huge fan, I can respect the quality of the writing, art, and over all work that went into it. It was a sophisticated piece of art. I felt it went a bit too extreme with the tone it was pushing, and as a long time fan of the original, found lots of the changes and design choices hard to digest. But again, it was a good show, and I respect what it attempted to accomplish. 

However, the show was canceled before season 2 could air. This left a lot of fans mad, confused as to whether it was low ratings, low ratings as a result of its switched time slot that was far from ideal, or just a business decision to sacrifice a popular show just to make way for a potentially more popular future show. While I can understand the upset from fans 100%, I didn’t feel it as I wasn’t a regular viewer. 

So, fast-forward to earlier this month when my friend shows me this trailer. As I said, at first I thought it was a joke, like College Humor or something. Then when the realization sunk in that it was real, I hated it. But, quickly I told myself that I don’t know enough about it yet to fully judge. I haven’t seen an episode. Sure, it looks awful from what I’ve seen, and I can clearly see the “monkey see monkey do” going on here with the copying of other successful modern cartoons. But, again, I haven’t seen it. Before I get into my final thoughts thus far, I need to address the elephant in the room...

...the similarities everybody has seen in this and Teen Titans GO!

While I wasn’t a die hard or anything, I did watch the entire first two seasons of the original Cartoon Network Teen Titans series when it was new, and I did like it. I thought it was very well-written, well-acted, had great characters, great character development, great stories, and great action. The characters worked off of each other beautifully. However, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I had some issues with it.

UNPOPULAR OPINIONS AHEAD - PREPARE TO HATE ME

Since its release I have always found the art style to look very under-developed and unappealing. It looked like an awkward imbalance of the (already bland in my mind) Justice League cartoon style and a newbie anime style. The best way I can describe it was it resembled the artwork of a junior-high kid who just started drawing anime. Also, I found a lot of the anime-inspired elements to feel forced. When characters would mutate into chibi disasters or tropes like sweat drops scrolling down their faces would happen, it was always a bit cringy and out of place. It felt like it was shoehorned in rather than rightfully fitting in.

But the most notable thing about the show was it was a pretty huge departure from the original DC comics. Gone was the realistic art style of the comics. Now the characters all had big, round heads, twig-like limbs, huge hands and feet, and big anime-eyes. Everything was very simplistic, sharp, and jagged. There was far more comedy, some great, and some that cringy chibi stuff I mentioned. The integration of anime tropes and far more kid humor was a huge departure from the comics. So, basically, despite being a good show, Teen Titans, the show, was a huge departure from its source material.

Then comes Teen Titans GO! and overnight it becomes one of the most hated (and most popular) cartoons of this age. I didn’t quite hate it, but wrote it off as crap without seeing it. It is a shame that the original show was canceled before it got to be finished, but putting fans’ anger towards that aside, the creation of TTG makes perfect sense. The characters proved extremely popular and marketable, largely because how comedic they could be when bouncing off each other (and the original show had been canceled. Continuing a canceled show years later is a difficult task, regrouping the team, dancing through the legal BS, and finding enough staff and people to fund it to be on board, as well as a network to accept it). More simplistic art styles were becoming more popular, and after the post-Adult Swim days, hyper, wacky, odd comedies have become the norm.

To be honest, any time I have seen Teen Titans GO!, which has only been about three episodes or so, I laughed. I don’t care what people say, the show is legitimately funny. Is it the greatest show ever? Not by a long shot. Is it better than the last TT show? Probably not. Is it a shame it exists while the original never finished? Kinda. But is it a bad show? Honestly, no. 

TTG knows exactly what it wants to be and delivers. It may not be the sequel show old fans wanted, but if you put aside the hatred, you’ll see it’s not only a funny cartoon bursting with energy and very well-defined and appealing character designs reminiscent of shows like Dexter’s Lab, but also a huge love letter to the Titans, the last show, and all things DC. It is clearly made by DC fans. I may be biased because I love Weird Al and The Golden Girls, but, man, this is funny right here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ICmOMLX3rQ

Admittedly, even the movie trailer looks funny, and I’ll likely see it, despite not really being a fan of the show. Just like the 2011 Thundercats, I see what the TTG team is intending to do, and I appreciate how well they do it, despite not being a regular supporter of it.

And, well, that brings us back to ‘Roar’. Will I like it? Based on what I’ve seen so far, likely not, but who knows. It could end up being the next Sonic Boom. I do strongly dislike the art direction for Thundercats Roar, and the footage shown thus far did not make me laugh (except Mumm-ra learning about the cats being on Third Earth by reading it in the newspaper. That actually got a chuckle from me). But, as much as my gut is telling me to hate this show, I won’t pass judgment until I’ve at least seen a couple episodes. It’s definitely not the Thundercats I love, but to be honest, I didn’t want a TC reboot. I was fine with it just being as it is. So if somebody’s going to reboot it for a new generation, I’ll be glad to see my favorite franchises get passed down, so long as it is done lovingly. If the show truly is a love letter to the history of the franchise as it claims to be, and if it’s a decently quality product that obvious care went into, I’ll be fine with it.

It would be so easy to tear it apart and hate it, but as I get older I find myself growing more accepting of such change. I’m not EXPECTING to like it, but who knows, I also wasn’t expecting to like Sonic Boom. Basically, so far I’m not digging what I’ve seen, but I’ll keep an open mind and stay hopeful. Here’s hoping they can change my mind with the final product.

The End

[gdelgiproducer]

DOTV AU: An Exercise in Alternate History (Part VII)

Parts I, II, III, IV, V, and VI offer more detailed context. (To briefly sum up why these posts are happening: alt history – as in sci fi, not “alternative facts” – buff, one day got the idea that DOTV could have turned out hella different if Jim Steinman looked for a star lead in other places, decided to reason out how that might work.) This is still getting a good response, so I’m gonna keep the train rolling.

Parts of the AU timeline established so far:

Instead of stopping at recording two songs from Whistle Down the Wind on a greatest hits compilation, Meat Loaf wound up taking more of an interest in Steinman’s new theater work than he did in our timeline, and through a series of circumstances found himself volunteering to play Krolock in the impending DOTV when Jim poured out his woes to him about needing to find some sort of star to attract investors. At a loss for any better ideas, Jim accepted Meat’s impulsive proposal, but not without resistance from his manager, David Sonenberg, who proposed Michael Crawford as an alternate candidate. Through quick thinking on Meat’s part, and inspiration on Jim’s, Crawford left the room accepting an entirely different role than he walked in hoping to get, leaving Krolock still open for Meat.

There was a brief speed bump, when Meat disliked Jim’s English script for the show, but after meeting with the original German author Michael Kunze and convincing Jim to compromise, things were on the road to being back on track… at least until 9/11 occurred.

Following a brief hiatus, everyone involved met to re-assess their options. The current game-plan was to put the new script on paper, schmooze with potential investors or producers, and put together a new creative team. Preferably not all at the same time, but with the crunch on, they’d do whatever needed to be done.

So far, the schmoozing has gone well, but everybody that Meat, Jim, and the crew would like to be involved is tentative. The newest conclusion is that they need to show them there’s a working show, and a concert of selections from the score seems to be the route they’re taking, possibly financed by an unlikely source.

Continuing the alternate DOTV timeline, a little differently this time! This time we get a feature on the concert from the New York Post’s own Michael Riedel. Take it away!

VAMPIRES: NEW MUSICAL BLOOD by Michael Riedel

If you’ve heard the buzz on the Rialto of late, you’d be forgiven for wondering if you were having a particularly nasty acid flashback. Dance of the Vampires, a new $15 million musical of the macabre based on the 1967 Roman Polanski movie The Fearless Vampire Killers, is already a monster hit in Austria and Germany, and it’s starting to gather steam here in the States as well, with some... we’ll call it unlikely... star power attached. After all, what other musical (even in a preliminary concert presentation) can boast Courtney Love as an emcee slash investor, and such disparate names as Meat Loaf and Michael Crawford as co-headliners?

Admittedly, Meat Loaf’s presence is slightly less surprising, as the driving force behind the show is Jim Steinman, who wrote Mr. Loaf’s classic Bat Out of Hell albums as well as the lyrics for Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Whistle Down the Wind.  He has written the score and is co-adapting the book for Vampires with playwright David Ives (All in the Timing), who is also currently at work with Steinman for Warner Bros. on a musical version of Batman, from German dramatist Michael Kunze’s original script. He also co-directed this concert with Starmites composer Barry Keating, though early reports that Steinman would be co-directing the eventual Broadway run with Jane Eyre creator John Caird have ultimately been dismissed.

“Roman directed it in Vienna, but he can’t work here because of his legal problems,” Steinman said, referring to Polanski’s indictment for statutory rape in the 1970′s. “He may be the first director who can’t work over here because of a statutory rape charge.” When queried about who then would be directing the New York run, Steinman was tight-lipped, but among those in attendance at the evening’s proceedings was Urinetown’s Tony-winning helmer, John Rando, who is now rumored to be in talks for the slot. Said Rando of the new show, “It takes the vampire myth and pokes fun at it, but it also embraces it. Its message is about the excesses of appetite. It has wit and an edge to it. I’d love to be involved!”

The presentation (at the 499-seat Little Shubert Theatre, about half a mile west of Broadway; events like this cause us rightfully to wonder why it doesn’t see more use) for a by-invitation-only crowd was kicked off by Ms. Love, Hole rocker and widow of Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain, in memorable form. Says a source in attendance, “You could sum it up in two words: too drunk. She was literally falling over. She wasn’t coherent at all.” Managing to gather herself enough to announce that Dance of the Vampires is a musical for people “who think musicals suck,” she didn’t manage to say much else of importance. “It just became a little too sloppy, and she was removed.” Insiders report that Steinman’s manager, David Sonenberg, who is also one of the show’s producers (and a first-timer at that), worried that those involved would be seen as taking advantage of a troubled addict. Ms. Love’s performance did little to dispel this perception. Lucky that representatives from noted L.A.-based promoter Concerts West, major music manager Irving Azoff (who numbers The Eagles, REO Speedwagon, Journey, Christina Aguilera, and Sammy Hagar among his clients), film and music mogul Jerry Weintraub, and Broadway’s own Barry and Fran Weissler were in attendance; a cash infusion from such sources may well be needed to save face if she can’t “live through this,” to twist a phrase from her 1994 album of the same name.

In addition to Sonenberg, already attached to Vampires on the producing side are Andrew Braunsberg (another first-timer, who also produced Polanski’s 1971 film version of Macbeth), Leonard Soloway, Bob Boyett (Sweet Smell of Success, Topdog/Underdog), Lawrence Horowitz (Electra, It Ain’t Nothing But the Blues), and Barry Diller and Bill Haber’s USA Ostar Theatricals. Boyett, a TV producer turned legit entrepreneur, used the phrases “trial by fire” and “going to war,” perhaps because while some novice producers just put up the money, get the credit and run, Boyett says he’s been taking the process very seriously: “I went to all the meetings and learned, like it was grad school.” While some Hollywood types find Broadway “less cutthroat,” Boyett finds it “more restrictive.” He mentions the sheer physical space of the theaters but also all the rules and regulations: "I’ve dealt with unions all my life, but I do find Actors’ Equity is very restrictive to the creative process.” Further, he regrets that Vampires will not have an out-of-town tryout. “I loved the experience of taking Sweet Smell of Success to Chicago,” he says with real enthusiasm, as if the project ended happily. “It was helpful to have the critics say what they did.” Not that Boyett thinks the right message from the critics got to the creative team. 

As for Boyett’s teammates, Bill Haber attended on behalf of USA Ostar, and although he wouldn’t consent to a formal interview, he couldn’t resist answering one question -- and it has nothing to do with Dance of the Vampires. Why is Haber’s other fall production, Imaginary Friends by Nora Ephron, being called a play if it has six songs by Marvin Hamlisch and Craig Carnelia? “It has nothing to do with how many songs there are,” he shot back. “It has to do with the fact that if you took all the songs out, it still works and you still have a play.”

And all this before we even get to the show itself. Vampires is your typical erotic musical about an innocent girl (played this evening by impressive newcomer Mandy Gonzalez, currently standing by for the role of Amneris in Aida and late of Off-Broadway’s Eli’s Comin’) choosing between two lovers, in this case an older, aristocratic vampire (Loaf, whose appearance here marks the first time he has worked with Steinman in theater since the early Seventies) and a hunky young grad student (Max von Essen, who reportedly also appeared in the Steinman/Caird-helmed reading in April 2001) under the tutelage of a rather intensely wacky vampire hunter (Crawford). Given the level of Loaf’s obvious commitment to the piece, it is surprising that his manager (Allen Kovac, of Left Bank Management) was a no-show, and in that light, rumors that Loaf has yet to formally sign on the dotted line for Vampires (in spite of previous announcements to the contrary, no less) prove even more curious. Calls to Kovac’s office were not returned. The rest of the cast, boasting some fine voices indeed, was filled out by assorted Broadway names and members of Meat Loaf’s long-time touring band, The Neverland Express, which also provided accompaniment for the evening under the crisp musical direction of veteran rock bassist Kasim Sulton (best known for his work with Todd Rundgren and Utopia, among others).

Speaking of the music: the score, as per Steinman’s usual style, is appropriately big and Wagnerian, with plenty of luscious, operatic melodies, including one familiar favorite that sticks out like a sore thumb: Steinman’s famous “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” under whose operatic pretensions I swooned as a teenager. “I couldn’t resist using it,” he says of a song that goes, ‘Once upon time there was light in my life / But now there’s only love in the dark.’ “I actually wrote it for another vampire musical that was based on Nosferatu, but never got produced.” Close listening to the CD sampler for interested investors also reveals a rehash of the vigorous “Tonight Is What It Means to Be Young,” his song for the film Streets of Fire, which I saw in Los Angeles in 1984 and sent me racing along Mulholland Drive to keep up with the propulsive beat.

As for the new stuff, maybe 50′s rock ‘n’ roll with a 70′s preen isn’t what the 80-year-olds who constitute Broadway’s audience want to hear (and Jim’s rock-mock-Wagnerian shtick admittedly tends to play better in London and Las Vegas than in Manhattan), but my sources say they knew from the first number --  an angelic trio with a beguiling (what did they used to call it?) melody and some expert (the Andrews Sisters used to do it) harmony -- that this would be my kind of score. Frankly I’m glad; since the prehistoric vinyl days, Steinman has been the guy I keep calling for to rejuvenate, or just plain juvenate, the Broadway musical, in a world where the musical theater establishment pronounces old ABBA records a hip pop sound.

The book, while reportedly in better shape than the April reading, is something else again. From the excerpts on display last night, the mix of bawdy humor and eroticism still needs fine-tuning. Says Sonenberg, “By the time we open, it will be a new version of the show, significantly changed with a view toward a New York audience, but right now it plays very much like the original in several respects.” Adds David Ives, “The German production is probably more faithful to the film, but it’s a fairly humorless show, with people getting hit on the head with salami. And I’ve been brought in to take out the salami and put in the chorus girls, without veering into camp in the process. Now it’s just a question of finding the balance, which, needless to say, isn’t easy. But I like what we’ve accomplished so far: Meat’s character is vastly different, a much more multifaceted, dynamic, complete figure. We’ve also made other changes and cuts and restructured the show into a book musical, with dialogue; the original is all sung. I think we’ve made it a much more interesting story.”

Time, as always, will be the ultimate arbiter of fate.

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I assure you that all this misery, terrible as it is, is only for the moment.

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The question billions of football fans are asking: Where is Messi going?

A Set small text size A Set the default text size A Set large text size In astonishing breaking news this week, Leo Messi and FC Barcelona are not able to sign the contract that was verbally agreed due to “financial implications and regulations placed by La Liga”. Barca have released an official statement stating that the club’s longest serving and greatest ever player in Leo Messi will be leaving the Camp Nou. Messi has played 778 games, scored 672 goals and ended up with 305 assists. Messi has done it all with Barca with ten La Liga titles, seven Copa Del Rey titles, eight Supercopa De Espana titles, four UEFA Champions League titles, three UEFA Super Cup and three Club World Cups. FC Barcelona have essentially blamed the La Liga management for being unable to sign Leo Messi. Messi arrived at the Camp Nou with father Jorge to sign a new deal until he was informed that it was financially not possible. Many speculations point to it being a ploy by the club to let La Liga know that the greatest player of all time and someone as iconic with as much influence and a huge tourism attraction is leaving the Spanish league and in hope, La Liga taking a back seat in their ruling and allowing FCB to re-sign Messi. Messi’s departure is a massive loss for not only Barcelona, but Spain. At one point in time, Messi had so much influence in Spain that he was being named responsible for the sway in political votes for the prime minister of Spain. In Argentina, it goes without saying he is the most recognised figure in the country and the national team heavily relies on him.

(Photo by Alexandre Schneider/Getty Images) Not only does Messi’s departure create a huge hole in the viewership and attraction of La Liga, but since the departure of Cristiano Ronaldo to Juve, and now Messi, El Clasico has lost some sort of novelty and will undoubtedly lose many eyeballs. Advertisement However, it has been made official that he will be leaving the club that leaves billions of football fans asking where is Messi going? PSG have initiated formal talks with Messi and his agent about bringing him to Paris to play alongside his former teammate Neymar, and the likes of Kylian Mbappe and Angel Di Maria and not to mention rival Sergio Ramos. Realistically, PSG are one of the only clubs that can afford Messi and his wages. Pundits put Messi’s estimated worth at about £80 million ($151 million). PSG are one of the favourites to sign on a short-term contract and I would think this move might be favourable to Messi as he has publicly stated his friendship and closeness with Neymar and once said he needs Neymar back to win the Champions League again. This move could be on. Manchester City are never out of the question having billionaire owners with deep pockets and Pep Guardiola as coach. He has a very close relationship with Messi. Guardiola has proudly mentioned many times that Messi is the greatest player he has ever managed. However after the recent record-breaking signing of Jack Grealish for £100 million ($188 million) and Grealish being handed the number ten jersey, the signing is not all that likely.

(Photo by Clive Mason/Getty Images) Harry Kane was on City’s radar after Kane refused to attend Spurs’ first two training sessions however the move now seems unlikely as Kane is legally bound to Spurs and Daniel Levy is refusing to allow him to depart Tottenham. Advertisement I can never formally cross out City from such a monumental signing as the funds are there and Messi has been encouraged for years to try out the most competitive league in the world, the Premier League. Another club that has sparked interest is Chelsea. Chelsea have been expressing interest in the big man Romelu Lukaku, and launched a bid of over £85 million ($160 million) have been shot into the media as another club who could be interested in landing the GOAT. More Football Football At 34, there is speculation of Messi thinking about the MLS or a retiree league. Messi recently vacationed in Miami with his family and some rumours are spreading that he could be interested in moving to the family-friendly lifestyle in the US. However, I have my doubts on this right now. Maybe one day, but Messi is evidently too elite for the MLS currently and quite frankly no club could afford his wage. He currently earns €1,360,000 ($2,175,000) per week at Barcelona and it is likely Messi will need to take a substantial cut anywhere he goes. Lionel Messi has left a legacy at Barcelona like no other, becoming one of the only players in history where you could likely use the phrase ‘bigger than the club’. Advertisement His impact has been felt in Spain and across the globe and a huge hole will be left in Barcelona. If I had my guess, Messi is off to the Parc des Princes in a hope to win the Champions League or he is staying at the Camp Nou and Barca’s genius plan of publicly threatening the La Liga board with Messi’s departure pays off. Will the bosses of La Liga cave? Where is he going? Read the full article