#hope everyone is well in the community and the words befriend you <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[meichenxi]

life update!!

hello my friends!

as ever, not active - life happened! I probably will continue not being active, so let's count this blog as on semi-hiatus. BUT. I have big news!

I am!!!! going to china!!!! in august!!! for ten months!!! to work as a volunteer interpreter in a martial arts academy!!!! in a buddhist temple!!!!

I get to train with the foreign students 8+ hours a day, and translate when needed!!!!

ok that's the announcement, love and peace <3

I will be getting up at stupid o'clock (5:45am), eating in silence, wearing uniform / robes at all times, teach a beginners' chinese class, and also. crucially. do really HUGE amounts of Kung Fu!!!!

on a serious note, I have been trying SO hard for SO long during and after covid to get back to china. but now I actually HAVE THE VISA, as of today, the ticket is booked, all - praise be - will be well. I am so afraid to jinx it further, and so very happy :)

I would never have thought when I started this blog back in 2020 that I'd be able to use what I've learnt, all the 'useless' martial arts knowledge from copious amounts of trash wuxia, in an actually useful context. more long term, I also get to see if interpreting is right for me, improve my chinese, and get very fit - all for free :D

hope everyone is well! - meichenxi

[kyomaakuma7]

After a very long break I’ve come to finally say my share. For those who want to know in more depth how I feel about the full situation I am writing it down below.

Thank you for everyone who sent kind messages and comforting words and thank you most to my good friend @thisanimatedphantom and Kou who supported me through these hard times.

My statement on the Situation

When I started in Inky Mystery, I never thought that it would  get me to where I am today with the friends that I have now.  When I was first introduced to it, and reading it I was immediately entranced into the story and wanted nothing more but to illustrate it since I had already planned to remake the original. Seeing such a well-crafted story I knew that this would be the story that I would illustrate. (And TAP knows how much work and behind the scene illustrating I’ve been doing from character turnarounds, layout design, alphabet style, and etc.)

Soon I made the first blog and received overwhelming support which I had not originally imagined would come with making my first post, and to that I am grateful. Soon I befriended the author of InkyMystery as our friendship grew, so did the attention that I received with the comics that I was illustrating for them. Unfortunately deleted against my wishes, and after trying to get it back to no avail I created a new blog where I had to restart from the beginning. This process was not easy and for those who know me, I was completely devastated by the fact that I had lost that account. After making my new account with the support of TAP I started my journey again.

Unfortunately with the positive attention comes negative attention. Soon the posts started to gain traction again, and people started to come under the assumption that I was TheGreatRouge making their come back.  What people failed to acknowledge and do was to do further research on was whether or not I actually was. As you can assume I am not them. In fact, I do not like TheGreatRouge. Their content was some thing that I consumed in great mass when I was younger, but soon realized that a lot of the things that they made were toxic and I distanced myself from that. Since then, I have gained certain opinions from on this creator. Nonetheless, I do not find it acceptable that people are taking this approach, even if they do think that I am them.

The words that were said to me in my inbox, comments, and direct messages are not things that I will repeat here. What you should know is that a lot of these things were pertaining to me being a disgusting vile human who should take my own life. As someone who struggles with depression, this was a personal hit to home and it cause my mental health to decline drastically. And I spent days going through and deleting these.

At first, I did not speak out on the issue and distance myself from my friends until eventually I came back and told them what was happening. TAP felt for me and as you may know when they made a post about it which I appreciate greatly along with comforting me and encouraging my break.

I took a long break from working on the comic, along with interacting with the community which worried a lot of people, but it was necessary for me to do since it was harming me so much. I am officially coming back and I will be more active on this account since I don’t have to follow it as a mainly Inky Mystery account.

My final statement on the situation is that even though I am not TheGreatRouge under no circumstances is it acceptable to tell somebody to take their own life or attack somebody on social media just because your beliefs do not align with theirs. No matter how wrong it is, it is not acceptable. If you think that doing those things are OK then you’re not welcome in my space. Please leave.

Thank you and I hope to continue doing this since I love it so much <3

-Sincerely, KyomaAkuma

[swervenation]

Swerve x Human Liaison Reader

THIS was supposed to be a short list of headcanons to repay noted Swerve Enjoyer @i-starcreamed​ for all their writing. But. Um. This is actually part 1 of at least 3, and it’s already at ... 1,500 words. So, uh, below the readmore, my take on Swerve with a human liaison who starts out as distant and quiet.

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / ?

Here’s a song that reminds me of this chapter, because I’m cringe and made a playlist :3

I've seen stories where the liaison is just kind of rescued and then given a job title to justify their presence on the ship, and while I love that, the "distant and quiet" part of this request is making me think of someone who sought out this position and takes it very seriously. You lay diplomatic groundwork with other organic species the Lost Light is expected to encounter on such-and-such pit stop before contact. On occasions when some organics are rescued, you're in charge of hospitality. Even though you're vastly different from those species biologically, you're a great help facilitating communication between them and the bots. It's not a very flashy job, but they're very grateful to have you on board. Rodimus knows their noble rescue efforts would be meaningless if you weren't around to ensure that his charges didn't die from neglect of some perplexing biological need, such as thirst or sleep. Magnus is certainly appreciative of your professionalism - a trait he hopes rubs off on the rest of the crew.

 But you haven't really connected with any of the crew outside of your job. That's how you view this: as a job. It's a fantastic opportunity - you finally have the chance to study these fascinating life forms up close after years of reading and academic research. The last thing you would want to do is ruin that opportunity by unknowingly committing a social faux pas or becoming entangled in some drama. This isn't to say you don't desperately want to befriend them. You plan on doing so. One day. Once you've learned how to navigate these social situations perfectly, you'll finally talk with some of your crewmates.

 However, you can almost always be found at Swerve's in the evening. There's an out of the way nook with a wide view of the place that you've claimed. There, you alternate between people-watching, working, and relaxing in the pleasant buzzing atmosphere of the bar. At first, some bots were curious about you, and would try to start up conversations. While you were certainly polite, you never really let such chat evolve into anything beyond small talk. Again - one day you'd make connections with them. Once you figured it all out. It didn't take long for everyone to forget about your presence - you just became part of the scenery.

 Swerve himself helped set you up with this perfect spot. The first night, you sat on a seat built for Cybertronians. Not only was it ridiculously big, but you were almost accidentally crushed by Whirl within a minute of arriving. Swerve got you to safety before your brush with death even registered with you. One second, he was behind the bar, the next, he had swiped you out of the way of Whirl's lethally pointy aft. (Suddenly finding yourself held like a football (American) in the crook of his arm distracted you from noticing the spilt engex and shattered glasses he left in his wake when he leapt, to the best of his ability, over the bar at the first hint of danger. Even though you would have found his reckless concern for you moving, he would be very relieved to know that you didn't see any of that.) Before even giving you his name, he quickly escorted you to a quieter corner of the room and motioned towards a well-lit recess in the wall relatively close to the bar. It had a nice view of the whole establishment, and was positioned a few feet above the average bot's height - your view wasn't blocked, and being above eye-level, you were out-of-sight out-of-mind for most bargoers. For your people-watching purposes, it was perfect. There was already a table and two chairs there already.

 "The organic suite," he explained. "Some of your guests stop by here from time to time - I set it up for those of them whose idea of a good night out doesn't involve being crushed to death."

 You thanked him with a beaming smile and introduced yourself as the human liaison.

 "I know," he remarked casually, forgetting for a moment how such an exchange was supposed to go. "I mean - it's very nice to meet you, y/n. I'm Swerve! Welcome to, uh, Swerve's." He held out a servo for you to shake, which you did, gratefully. Such human gestures were uncommon on this ship. As soon as you wrapped your hand around two of his digits, and his knuckles carefully cupped your palm, a small jolt of static electricity ran up your arm, causing you to flinch slightly. This wasn't unnoted by your host, whose concerned reaction, to your estimation, suggested that such a startle was a misstep. When you gave his metal hand two business-like pumps, it moved responded in the most limp-fish handshake way a robot possibly could, as though he feared he might damage you with the slightest move.

 You thanked him again and he had Ten lift you up to your booth. Not only was the "organic suite" practical, but it was surprisingly clean and well lit. You got to jotting down your notes for today and unexpectedly, Ten returned a few minutes later with some water and the dish that, out of the limited fare available to you on the Lost Light, had always been your favorite. In all the excitement, you had completely forgotten about dinner - you assumed it must have been sent here instead of your room when you weren't found there. It would arrive at the same time every night from then on out.

 Unbeknownst to the rest of the bargoers, you took a deep interest in the social life unfolding around you. You intended to learn Cybertronian culture, manners, and friendships inside and out before attempting to actually engage with them. You had been kicking yourself this whole time about your shocked reaction to a twinge of electricity when you shook Swerve's hand earlier. They're robots for God's sake! That's like being shocked that a human's hand was warm! You couldn't let yourself blunder like that again until you were positive nothing would surprise you. In the meantime, you delighted in the gossip you overheard from your nook. You developed one-sided attachments to some of its key players, as though they were characters in a book.

 The most reliable source of gossip is, of course, your bartender. You had barely spoken to him since that first encounter - you would just smile and nod at each other when you arrived like clockwork at the same time each night and ascended the spiral staircase Ten fashioned for you. Nonetheless, you found yourself gravitating towards him. He was loud enough that you could hear him clearly from your spot in the bar (even when he was speaking on more confidential matters), and his voice was distinct enough that you could always pick it out. That voice was quicker and a little higher-pitched than the others, but what stood out most was its delivery. He had a way of punctuating a joke, weaving in suspense, describing even his most mundane observations so colorfully that it took effort to shift your focus elsewhere once he caught your ear.

 As time went on, you found that you cared a lot more about what the other bots were doing when you heard it from his mouth. It was like he was getting better and better at storytelling every night, and he never ran out of material. Even his bartending improved - he mixed drinks with a confident smoothness and the increasingly common flourish. As he spoke, he would flip glasses, bottles, etc. around in his hand, and would sometimes toss a shaker behind his back while mixing. It was like a new glow had started to settle on his face. You would try to research what the new slight blue tint to his face meant, but couldn't find any certain answers in your reference materials.

 You didn't notice how much of your attention he captured until one night, your eye thoughtlessly drifted from your favorite bot down the bar. You jumped in your seat when you found Cyclonus's supicious red eyes trained on you - one of his brows was raised, as though he were trying to parse at whom and why you'd been staring for so long. You broke eye contact quickly and mentally started kicking yourself.   What must he be thinking? That your silent observation implied scheming, or that it was simply very weird? This made you consider your own motives and choices. It did seem rather creepy - and your quick, guilty reaction certainly didn't prove your innocence. It finally hit you how strange your behavior was. What were you thinking? Instead of reflecting on your motives, you decided it would be best to spend some time away from Swerve's.

[hansoeii]

You have a huge community, your art reaches so many people and a lot of them really look up to you, just like me, i'm not an artist but still I look up to you. You clearly have a lot of passion for your art and i can feel that by looking at it.

You're so good at what you do, and you worked hard for it, people buy your prints and commissions and youre selling your art at dokomi. You've achieved all of these things i could ever imagine to achieve for myself and in a way im jealous of you, maybe that shows that we are all jealous of something other people have and we ourselves dont (yet). I really wish you all the best, we are all gonna get there someday <3

This message was in my inbox for a while and I saw it just now. I really want to respond to you as sincerely as I can:

First of all, thank you so much anon! Your words really mean a lot to me. Thank you for your honesty too. I know how easy it is to get jealous, but seeing that you're so positive about it is incredibly nice.

I'd love to give you and all aspiring artists a little hope!

I only started growing properly last year, before that I didn't sell many prints, commissions or anything of that matter. I spent a lot of time wondering what I even wanted to do. For the longest time I thought I wanted to get into character design or concept art so I worked towards that, but slowly realized that it's not for me at all. It felt like I was forcing myself into a box I didn't belong in. I started befriending people who worked in the industry and I realized that it's not what I want to do. I felt really lost after that. Nothing was really working out for me.

But then Our Flag Means Death came out and I started creating fanart again. Something that I had somewhat stopped doing, because I believed it wasn't professional enough and that I couldn't get anywhere with it. But I enjoyed it so much and pushed out so much art that I started growing a proper community! And then I just kept drawing what I really wanted to draw, not forcing myself into any box anymore. And because of that, I improved so quickly too. And now I managed to be at a point in my art journey where I'm not that scared of my future anymore.

So please, just keep doing whatever it is you enjoy the most, don't listen to what other people tell you. Be patient with yourself as well, because everyone's journey is different. You can absolutely achieve your dreams! ❤️

[noemilivv]

hello!! thank you so much for squeezing me in 💕 i hope you're doing well

i use all pronouns and im asexual demiromantic. i have no preference for the gender of the character

my mbti is infj <3

personality wise, im a patient person. im touchy with close friends and family, otherwise i actively avoid touch. im quiet until im with friends, and i enjoy being in the presence of people and not having to do the same thing? [like i could be painting and they could be writing! we don't have to do an activity together to enjoy being together 🤭]. im otherwise i actively avoid touch. im quiet until im with friends, and i enjoy being in the presence of people and not having to do the same thing? [like i could be painting and they could be writing! we don't have to do an activity together to enjoy being together]. im honest and can be a little too blunt at times. im big on communication, it's how all relationships thrive - familial, platonic or romantic. im very careful about who i trust, so people need to show effort in befriending me. im quite observant with people's body language and their tone of voice. i enjoy banter every now and again but it helps when we both know when to draw the line. im not all that fond of technology and like to do other activities while i can, but i do admit it's useful to have! [all the music at my fingertips]. i love having philosophical talks with people too.

my hobbies include writing, painting, sewing and reading!! im also hoping to learn guitar at some point. i enjoy ballroom dancing but it's not something i do too often. my music taste switches from jazz, to metal to indie repeatedly -

im hyperfixated on the band ghost, and sleep token!! if you ask me about prey animals such as deer, bunnies, or cows i WILL talk your head off. im also OBSESSED with the crow [brandon lee] and the labyrinth [david bowie]. i have a soft spot for tim burton films too!!

my love languages are quality time and gift giving. im not entirely opposed to the other love languages but i definitely need to be warned before touch occurs or we've already established that we're both okay with touching each other. i personally prefer creating personalised gifts by engraving intricate patterns into pockets, writing them letters or just creating a little gift bag of the things they've had their eyes on

appearance-wise, im pretty short. roughly around 5'1-5'3. im also chubby but that's not something i get insecure about often - that doesn't mean i flaunt my figure or anything though, just simply indifferent. i like dying my hair but my go to colour is a dark ashy purple. i only have my lobes and my septum pierced but im considering getting more. im very pale and im absolutely covered in freckles. as for wardrobe, i either dress like a manic pixie dream girl or i go all out as morticia addams.

i enjoy helping people out, but if it requires physical lifting, then it's a no can do, due to my disability limiting what i can and can't lift

all and all, i just need someone to respect my boundaries and be patient enough with me to make it work

im so sorry that it's so long! if you need me to cut things down, im more than willing to 🫶💗 have a beautiful day

i know i said i was done with matchups but i promised this individual a matchup and i just got submitted the request so i’m doing it now.

anywho, i pair you with…

Husk !!

Husk is very open about communication, as he’s very honest, so that’s not really something you need to worry about in your relationship

He’s not much of a gift giver, but he appreciates everything you get him, and he’ll try to sneak in a present or two as a ‘thank you’. But in my eyes, Husk is more of a acts of service and words of affirmation kinda guy (in terms of giving)

You both banter a lot, he tries not to go to overboard, but due to his bluntness sometimes he’ll occasionally slip up, but hey, everyone does it at some point

[beels-burger-babe]

The Façade of the Suitor - Pt. 2

***Wow! You guys are really digging this series! Thank you so much for your support 🥰🥰🥰 I don't get to share OCs often, so it's really reassuring to see you guys take to Harlow. She's a character, that's for sure 😅😅 Thanks for all the love! - B*** Summary: MC catches the eye of Lady Harlow, a higher demoness who has had a small feud with the brothers for centuries. She's determined to steal MC from them and keep MC under her wing. The brothers, however, are determined not to let that happen. Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

After a week had passed since the ball, Lucifer had dared to hope that maybe that had been the end of things and that Harlow would just leave him and you alone. But fate had never been on his side. A letter arrived in the mail, sealed with a horrifyingly familiar purple stamp and her nauseating fragrance. It was, of course, addressed to you.

Lucifer's nose wrinkled in distaste. He'd have to dispose of this before you ever caught sight of it. He had turned to do exactly that when he bumped into Satan and dropped the letter. Satan sighed and bent down to pick it up. "I thought that you of all people would be capable of watching where you're," he stopped short as he finally looked at the letter. Satan's jaw clenched as he looked back at Lucifer. "Why in Diavolo's name are you in contact with her again?" Lucifer sighed and tried to take the letter back, Satan stepped out of his reach. He glared at the angry demon. "Not that it's any of your business-" "Not my business?!" Satan snapped before Lucifer could finish his explanation. "She turned you against all of us and nearly tore this family a part and you don't think it's my business if you're in contact with that- that- that snake again?!"

Lucifer growled at the reminder of his past failure. "If I had a choice, I would wipe her foul existence from the face of this realm, but I can't. I loath that woman as much as you do. The letter isn't addressed to me. It's to MC."

Satan's eyes widened and quickly looked down at the letter, seeing your name scrawled in her disgustingly perfect cursive font. He dropped the letter as though it had burned him. "We can't let them see this. Harlow shouldn't even know MC exists! How the fuck did this happen?"

Lucifer picked up the letter, " The exchange program ball. Near the end of the evening, MC and I were relaxing near a wall and Harlow approached us." Satan looked at his brother as though he had two heads. "And you just let her?" This quickly earned the younger demon another glare. "We were at a public event where I was representing our House and Diavolo and MC was representing the human realm. There wasn't much I could do without causing a scene." Satan rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. "Of course! You'd let Harlow sink her claws into MC just so you can protect your reputation. I forgot who I was talking to for a moment." Beel stepped out of the kitchen and into the room at the sound of the yelling. "What's going on?" "Noth-" "Harlow's trying to get to MC." The "father and son" duo sneered at each other. Beel's eyes widened as his face paled. "Well, we aren't going to let her, right? We can stop her this time. Now we know her tricks. It won't be like last time?" he was staring directly at Lucifer. The eldest felt his stomach twist and churn guiltily at the desperation in Beel's stare. They all knew from experience just how cunning and manipulative Harlow could be. She had targeted Lucifer specifically, and because he let down his guard, his whole family soon became infected by the demoness venom. He refused to let the same happen to you. Lucifer turned on his heel and threw the letter into the fireplace. The three brothers watched as it slowly was consumed by the flames and turned to ash. "Tell the others about what happened. There's no doubt that Harlow will attempt to reach MC again. It's our duty to stop that from happening," Lucifer spoke up. Beel nodded right away before taking off to obey the command. Satan sighed and glanced at Lucifer, "You know this won't stop her. She'll figure out a way to get to MC." Lucifer continued watching the flames. The fire's glow reflecting in his obsidian eyes like a memory flickering in the darkness. "Maybe so, but at the very least it will give us time to come up with a plan on what to do when she does." In the end, Satan had been right. The brothers worked tirelessly together to intercept any letters, bouquets, or baskets that had been sent for you. Asmo kept a collection of the bouquets and gifts in his room, and simply told you that they were objects of admiration from his fans. You had walked in on Beel shuffling through the mail one day, and he had managed to fluster out an excuse before hurrying out of the room and shoving the most recent letter into his mouth. Mammon became even clingier than usual and was always by your side. Although he was physically with you, his mind and eyes were always looking around you for any signs of the demoness that he was trying to avoid. Satan had worked with Solomon to put an enchantment on the House's gates that caused anything that had recently touched Harlow's hands to be incinerated as it passed through the gate. Levi had been forcing you to watch the top ten anime betrayals and any anime with a manipulative or toxic antagonist in hopes that it would help you recognize them in Harlow if she ever got to you and that you would do the right thing and choose your real best friend him (and I suppose the others as well). Belphegor would purposefully fall asleep on you as much as possible to prevent you from leaving the House and therefore heightening the risk of Harlow coming to meet you personally. Lucifer had begun to do his own research on Harlow, once more, and was looking back on his own past experiences with the demoness to gain wisdom on how to outwit her. Despite all of their efforts, it wasn't enough. You came down to breakfast, looking complexed but intrigued as you held a piece of paper with a dreadfully purple broken seal on the top. The brothers froze as Harlow's familiar perfume reached their noses. Levi swallowed his food as he looked at you nervously. "M-MC, what...what do you have there?" You blinked up at them and held up the paper. "It's a letter from

Lady Harlow. A bat flew through my window this morning with this attached to its foot. According to the letter, she's tried more normal means of communication, but had no luck. Hmm, I wonder why?" you pondered out loud as you continued reading the letter. The brothers exchanged worried looks. Lucifer straightened his posture. "What else does it say?" You barely looked over at him as you responded. "Oh, she has invited me to a private luncheon at her manor. Apparently, she'd like to get to know me better." Your words caused everyone at the table to stiffen. "Seems suspicious to me," Belphie stated as he rested his head on your shoulder. "You shouldn't go. She's probably planning to kill you or something but is just pretending to be nice to get you to let your guard down." You smirked down at him. "Hmmm, sounds familiar," despite your joking tone, you noticed the room tense and Belphie looked away in shame. You frowned and placed a hand on his arm. "I...I was joking, Belphie. You know I've forgiven you for that. You've proved that you've changed. We're okay," you looked around at the others, finally picking up on the tension in the room. "What's going on? Why is everyone acting so weird?" Satan sighed and met your eyes. "Harlow is the Lady of Manipulation. She thrives off of playing with others' emotions and desires to get her own twisted wants." "She's dangerous," Lucifer added. You were shocked to see that he was seemingly unable to meet your eyes. Instead, he stared at his plate as though lost in a memory. "She's incredibly skilled at what she does and will worm her way into your thoughts before you're even aware of what's happening. She's cunning and sly," he finally lifted his head to look at you. You shivered at the intense urgency and regret in his gaze. "Lady Harlow is not one that you should give even a second of your time to. If you give her even a single inch, she will take a mile." You frowned and looked back at the letter. It was filled with so many kind words and eloquent phrasing. She had seemed nice enough at the ball, and she went through all this trouble just to send you an invitation. "Thank you for the warning," you spoke sincerely as you looked at the others. "I'll be sure to keep your words in mind and be careful." Mammon scoffed and crossed his arms. "You make it sound as if you're going." "I am." The room burst into a mix of angry proclamations, commands that you were not going, and pleas for you to listen to them. You smiled sympathetically at the brothers. "I know you're worried, but it would be extremely rude to reject a personal invitation like this from a noble, especially after all the effort she went through to have it delivered. I should at least go to see what she wants. I'll have my D.D.D. on me and you can guys can ask me all the questions you want as soon as I get back." Lucifer's eyes searched your expression in a mix of frustration and desperation. "MC did you not hear a single word I just said? One visit is all she'll need. I really must urge you not-" "Lucifer stop," the room fell silent as Lucifer's mouth snapped shut. His gaze hardened at your use of a command. You sighed and ran a hand over your face. "I'm sorry, but this isn't your choice. I know you seem to have...something going on with Harlow, and I will take caution from your words during my visit. But I'm sure I'll be fine. I live with and have befriended seven of the most powerful demons in the Devildom. What's a silly noblewoman going to do to me?" You gently lifted Belphie's head off of you and rose. "I should get ready for the school day. I'm sorry guys. I'll see you all later." As you left, a small piece of hope from within the brothers left with you. Lucifer snarled and downed a glass of wine. "Right," he said bitterly and looked over at Satan, "onto plan c."

*** I hope you guys enjoyed it! I promise you will find out exactly what went down between Harlow and the brothers later on. But for now, let the games begin 😈 Thanks again for all the support and love you've all been giving this series!***

Taglist: @cosmixbun @sufzku @simeonspebble @lovevictoire @obey-mes-treasure @kissed-by-a-dementor @yukihaie @justtiarra @mammoneybb @obeys-world @peachyeevee13 @otome-scribbles @azureusmoonie @poly-bi-mf

[lostinwildflowers]

WAIT, RACH CAN I REQUEST SOMETHING? ❤️❤️❤️ you totally do not have to write this if you don’t want to, and take as much time as you need, but could I request a Levi fic where the reader has a deaf best friend, so she knows sign language and one day her friend (who is a civilian) comes to visit squad leader reader for a bit. Neither of them know that Levi knows sign language (idc if he knew it prior or if he got curious about their convos and taught himself) so when they are taking care of the horses that night, the friend starts teasing the reader about her love of Levi and he’s there to see it so he confronts them and confesses his love as well? Like I said, feel free to ignore this, it won’t hurt my feelings! Zero stress! I hope you’re doing well, love, you are the absolute best and I will never get over your amazing writing!! 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️ ALSO I LOVE YOU!!

~Wolfy 🐺

Going Through the Motions

Levi Ackerman x Reader

Summary: You have grown up knowing sign language because of your deaf best friend. You haven't seen her in a long time, so the two of you catch up at the stables, where she teases you about a certain captain. What if he can read your hands, and motions something back?

Word Count: 1.2K

Warnings: deaf! best friend, Levi and Reader both know sign language(duh), otherwise FLUFF(like it needs a warning XD)

A/N: HERE YOU GO WOLFY!!! Sorry if took me forever to get too, but the inspo hit me so I took a hold of it! Thank you for sending a request in :3 MWAH MWAH -Birch<3

Sometimes it pays off to be well educated based on those you surround yourself with. In your case, you had a best friend who was deaf and could only communicate through sign language.

Your friend, Marney, had lost her hearing when you were both young, and so you went to her sign language lessons with her, that way you would still be able to talk to her. You both eventually became fluent in signing, but you didn’t have much need for it when you enlisted in the Scouts.

You hadn’t seen her for a year or so because of the constant missions and trainings you were doing in the Scout Regiment. You worked hard every morning and evening, strengthening your body to make it fit to be a soldier’s.

You had to be at your peak when being a member of Levi’s squad, you were the last wave and you needed to be ready. Throughout all of your hardwork and dedication, you had grown quite fond and close to the captain.

Some nights you would bring him tea after a grueling day of practice, and he would simply sit quietly in your presence before uttering a thank you under his breath. Your friendship was a silent and well-respected one, as most people were too afraid of the Ackerman to even attempt at befriending him.

But you saw Levi for exactly who he was: a man. A man who had been through a lot in his life, and all he wanted to do was rest.

And that’s exactly what everyone was doing. It had been a few long weeks of training and then big missions, so Erwin was giving everyone a week off to settle down and get some rest. Thus, it was perfect timing for your friend to come visit, and you were more than ecstatic to see her.

Your friend was a civilian, so it took her a day to ride out to where the Scouts trained, so you were eagerly waiting for her arrival while briefly going over some of your signs just to refresh your mind.

You can hear horses approaching from in front of you, and you look up to be met with two Scouts being accompanied by a third horse with Marney on top. You jump up and rush over to her, holding her horse’s reins while she hopped down from the gelding’s back.

“Y/n! It’s so great to see you!” she signs eagerly to you before pulling you into a tight hug. You wrap your arms around her the best you can while trying to not let go of the reins, and after a few seconds you pull back and sign, “Marney, I’ve missed you so much!”

The two of you sign back and forth as you guide Marney to the stables, slowly catching up on all of the time spent away from each other.

“What do you mean you’re engaged?” you sign excitedly to Marney, your mouth falling open as you look at the ring on her left hand. Marney just smiles and laughs at you before signing back, “Enough about me! Tell me more about this captain you’ve been writing to me about.”

You playfully roll your eyes as you brush Marney’s horse, fighting down heat in your cheeks as you turn away from her. She playfully bumps your hip and wiggles her eyebrows at you, one again prompting you to answer.

You groan and then sign back, “Okay, yes! I like Levi, but he’s not in a place to be in a relationship right now. The Scouts have been really busy recently, and besides...”

You take a deep breath as you sigh and the shrug before continuing, “There’s no place for love on a battlefield.”

Marney just looks at you unimpressed for a second, her lips pursed in an unamsed fashion before she moves to the otherside of the buckskin colored horse to brush his mane. You try to calm the butterflies in your stomach, but you flinch whenever you hear movement from outside of the stables.

In the doorway, you see a lean figure leaning against the wall, and your heart beats in your chest a little harder as you salute him and call, “Good evening, Captain Levi! I was helping my-”

“At ease, Y/n. I’ve been here for long enough,” Levi states, eyes low and dark from the night outside, and you swallow thickly at the meaning of his words.

Marney moves next to you as she sees a shadow flicker in the candle light, suddenly spotting Levi walking toward you. She glances at him once before signing, “Is this the guy you’ve been writing to me about? Captain Levi?”

As you go to respond, Levi’s hands begin to moving into familiar patterns that you knew all too well as he signs back to Marney, “Captain Levi Ackerman at your service. You should go find your cabin for the night. Y/n and I will clean up here.”

You freeze as Marney’s eyes widen at Levi’s hands, but nods to the captain and begins to make her way out of the barn and toward the rest of the barracks. You can feel your hands clenching around the brush in your hand as Levi continues to make his way up to you.

Your mouth falls open and closed a few times as you glance from Levi’s hands and back to his face, your heart starting to pick up it’s rhythm with nerves. Levi stops in front of you, softly illuminated by the glow from the lamp as he lifts his hands up so the two of you can see them.

“I like you,” the sign comes, simple and accurate, and you gasp as the brush slips out of your fingers and crashes into the ground. You blink in shock a few times as you feel your cheeks warm again and you stutter out, “Y-you like me? Even after I made a fool out of myself?!”

Levi just huffs lightly, the faintest orangey-pink blush on his cheeks as he grumbles, “I do, and I’m surprised that it’s taken you this long to find out.”

You glance away, embarrassed by your oblviiousness. You shuffle on your feet for a moment before asking shyly, “How do you even know sign language? If you don’t mind me asking, that is...”

Levi is quiet for a moment before he turns his head nonchalantly toward the horse and states, “There was a solider here a few years ago who was deaf in one ear. He worked hard and was kind, and it was easiest to sign to him, so he taught me.”

You nod shakily before quickly reaching down to grab the brush. You motion to the horse behind you and ask, “Would you like to help me clean this guy up?”

Levi nods before cracking a slight smirk and chides, “Yeah, that way you can tell me more about what you said in those letters.”

It was a bit of a rocky and unplanned start to your relationship, but going through the motions before getting truly comfortable with each other wasn’t a bad beginning.

Tag list: @xxdragonwriterxx @tejxswini @mysterystarz @mortedeveles @vs-redemption @kal0psi-a @gin-no-g @starstruckkittensweets @kitacharm @babieweeb @shirari @animated-moon @mitzwinchester @anlian-aishang @deludedimagines

[s4rainbows]

Back at it again with this whole challenge stuff.

This Challenge is half “Survive this”, half Legacy, and based around the various stages the main group in the TV Show “The Walking Dead” went through. You don’t need to have watched it to play this challenge, but many requirements will feel arbitrary if you haven’t. Since these aren’t really, uh, generations, I will refer to the individual parts of this challenge as “Stages” Packs required: Outdoor Retreat, Seasons, Eco Lifestyle, Get Together, City Living, Discover University, Get to Work

The Setup:

- You will need either Triplis’ “Kids Quit School” mod ot MCCC to make quitting school possible. - Create your founder and any number of other survivors in CAS, Two of these additional survivors need to be children. - Use your own physical dice or find an online dice roller, you will need that!

General Rules:

- It’s the Apocalypse, so buy mode is heavily restricted. You can’t just go to Ikea and buy  new couch! You will need to use the fabrication and handiness skills to make furniture! Some Random Events and generational rules may allow you to get stuff otherwise

- You may only cook with ingredients you have! If you play this after the release of Cottage Living, use the Lot Challenge!

- You will always play off the grid!

- The monetary cost of crafting is considered “materials”. You can "barter” for materials by using the selling table from City Living, or sell furniture and stuff you scavenged, thus “dismantling” it and salvaging it.

- Any children you have aside from the two you create in CAS automatically suffer a -2 penalty to all rolls they perform, on account of being children. 

- Randomized townies you encounter are generally considered zombies. (or WaLkErS of you don’t wanna use the evil Z word). If they engage you in conversation, consider it an attack and roll a d20, adding 1 for every two levels of fitness the Sim in question has. Below a 15, they get injured in the scuffle and are out of comission for the rest of the day. Below a 10, they get infected and die

- Pregnant and elderly Sims cannot perform any chores or other survival tasks and suffer the same -2 penalty as children!

- Every ingame week, roll on the random events table!

- Play with normal lifespan!

Stage 1: The Atlanta Survivors Camp You just survived the Apocalypse’s initial outbreak and you are settling with a small group outside a large city. However, calamity soon threatens your little sanctuary.

- Move your household anywhere with freerealestate, then take a vacation on the campground lot in Granite Falls.  - Set your money to 5k and start your grind. When you can no longer extend your vacation, your camp gets overrun and you are forced to flee. Roll Fitness checks for each member of your group and disable/kill accordingly. - If your founder dies in this, appoint a new one from the surviving sims

Stage 2: Hershel’s Farm After getting out of the overrun camp and having a little happening at the CDC, you are back on the road and lose one of your two kids in a run-in with a horde. Worse, even, your other kid gets shot and is badly injured! Thankfully, you are offered help by a small family on a nearby farm.

- Kill of one of your two CAS-created kids. Sorry, Sophia! - The other CAS-created kid is now injured for the rest of thi stage and can’t help you out or build skills. - Move your sims to one of the lots south of the Chalet in Windernburg (Or Henford on Bagley if Cottage Living is out!)  and build a little farmhouse big enough to accommodate four sims, with a small vegetable garden and 2 power generating and 3 water generating items. -Create four Sims that “own” the farm and help you out. One of them has to be an elder! - Two weeks into this stage, the farm will, unfortunately, get overrun and also set on fire. Do your fitness rolls for everyone and run for your life.

Stage 3: The Prison Again, you are on the run, but there’s a little shimmer of light at the end of the tunnel - an abandoned prison! Now, you just need to like... reclaim it.

- Build a Prison, or download one from the gallery! - Cheat one of your sim pregnant, if you don’t have a pregnancy yet. - Reclaim the prison! Make Fitness rolls for each level + the outside. - After your pregnant Sim gives birth, kill her. Sorry, Lori! - Create a rival 8-sim household and put your sims in a club, and their rivals in one too. Have  “fight (other club)” as one of the activities, then have them visit you and... start... a gathering... ;)

Stage 4 The Prison 2, Electric Boogaloo You defeated Woodbury! ... or did you? Well, you don’t really have time to deal with it right now, because there is a deadly strain of influenza wrecking your community. 

- Start placing ads for roommates. Those are the former Woodbury people you took in! - Every Time someone gets one of the GTW illnesses, roll your d20. Below a 10, they die to the sickness. Kill them, and roll fitness for one of your household sims, since the dead turn into walkers! - Three weeks into this stage, your friend, the Governor of Woodbury, comes back with a fresh new group he roped into his nonsense. Roll Fitness checks and book it. (also kill the Governor. RIP in pieces)

Stage 5: Terminus From bad to worse, you’re on the run again, and split up this time. Divided we fall, huh? Good thing there’s this totally not ominous set of markers leading you to a place called Terminus. I’m sure nothing bad will happen there.

- Split your Household and surviving roommates and pop them all into different empty lots. Play a week with each of them (aging off here, this is meant to happen simultaneously!) and roll on the random events table until you have eight sims left in total. Hope you weren’t attached to any of them. - Put them back into the same household again, and create yet another rival club to beat up. That rival club is Terminus. Surprise, the group with the name meaning “Death” was bad! - Switch to your Terminus household and “invite” your sims over, then lock them in the basement, true sims style. Go downstairs and start a club gathering. Keep an eye on them, every time someone loses a fight, kill them. Do this until you have either 5 good guys left or all of Terminus is dead.

Stage 6: Alexandria and The other blokes You got away from the humanitarians and were invited into the community of Alexandria. Thing are finally looking up again!

- Move to a 50x50 lot and build a little “village” with gardens, energy production and everything you might need. - Create two more 8-sim-households on similar situations and create clubs for them, with the activity to be friendly with yours! These two households will be Hilltop and The Kingdom. - Make one of the Evergreen Harbor Community Spaces a marketplace and frequent it! - Stay in this stage for four weeks!

Stage 7: The Saviour War Things just couldn’t stay okay, could they? You ticked off a horrible cult-of-personality-type organization called the Saviours, who now start their reign of terror against you.

- Create another household and club meant to be mean to you, Hilltop and the kingdom. Make their Leader a magnificent bastard and give that one plot armor. Narrative Immunity! - Host a little multi-club gathering and roll a d8 twice. Look at your own household portrait lineup and kill two of your sims whose portrait position corresponds to your rolls. - Take your strongest fighter, aka the highst fitness stat, aka Daryl Dixon and put them into their own household, to take them out of the equation for a while. They’re the Saviours’ prisoner now! - Congrats, you have been promoted to vassal state. The Saviours demand five of every crop you produce. Don’t hav enough to feed your people? Sucks to be you! - Stay in this stage for 4 weeks, then bring back your poor fighter, and kill off half of the Saviours, add the rest to your household and Kingdom & Hilltop. Their Leader must survive! Keep them in your basement from now on and visit them regularly to gloat.

Stage 8: The Whisperer War Finally, some stability. Oh, whats that? New enemy faction, and this one of even worse? Fantastic.

- Cease communication and trade with Hilltop & Kingdom for two weeks, Then hold a big party! - ...during said party,  kill 12 total sims from each faction. - Create a new rival faction called the Whisperers. Make their two leaders, Alpha & Beta, level 10 in fitness. - Hold weekly brawls with the whisperers. Kill every fight loser, but replenish the Whisperers losses. There’s no end to their forces! - Give Alpha a daughter and take her in after your first clash with them. - When you resume trade, roll a D20 every time you travel away from your lot. Below a 10, your travel party gets attacked by the Whisperers! Roll Fitness checks for every Siim traveling. - Remember the Saviour leader? Yeah, they’re doing better. Have them befried one of your household’s children, and gradually integrate them into your community. - After an additional 4 weeks of this, send your redeemed Saviour leader over to the Whisperers and befriend them. They’re a spy now! - Survive another week, then ply s the Whisperers and attack Hilltop! Move the survivors into your main household. - After this attack, your spy strikes and kills Alpha. Put them back into your household, then gear up for a big fight! - Cheat “Roughhousing ecouraged” in your NAPs, then gather all surviving characters along with the Whisperers and fight!

Did you survive this? Well, until season 11 comes out, that’s as far as we go. You can continue playing with the Random Events and general ruleset!

RANDOM EVENTS:

D20: 1.  There’s a drought. Sell all your stored water and reset your money back down 2. Zombie Attack! Roll Fitness and kill accoridngly! 3. Electric whoopsie-doopsie. Sell your stored electricty and set your money bck down 4. Roving bandits! The next time travel, all your traveling sims lose their inventory contents! If they had none, kill one of them! 5. Baby Boom! Get one fo your Sims pregnant 6. Other Survivors! Roll a d4 and add the resulting nuber of sims to your household! 7. Tragic accident! Kill a random sim 8. Extra Ammo! Every Sim gets a +1 to their next fitness roll! 9. Thunderstorm! Your Sims may not leave their lot for this week! 10: Supply thief! select a random sim and hoard food for this week. At the end of the week they get found out nd either killed or exiled! 11. Breach! Your wall has a breach! Reduce your funds by 150 to fix it. If you don’t have that much, kill a random sim in the resulting zombie incusrsion! 12. Illness! There’s a flareup of the deadly flu from the prison! Play with this Stage’s rules (regarding the illness) for this week! 13: Re-roll! 14. Sabotage! Your fabricator and woodworking table cannot be used this week! 15. Zombie Attack! Roll Fitness and kill accordingly! 16. Lost Child! You find a random child, adopt one! (cheat the money for the adoption) 17: Feast! Your Sims make the poorly informed decision to par-tay! Delete all the stored crops you have. 18. Horde! It’s too dangerous to leave the fortifications right now! Suspend all travel this week. 19. Foraging! Cheat yourself enough money and buy a seasonal seed packet that corresponds to this season! 20. Re-Roll!

[vkelleyart]

Thoughts on fandom: inclusion and engagement.

(Art credit to the kindhearted @penpanoply​!)

There’s been some stuff floating around on Tumblr about strife in the CO/WS fandom, and though I haven’t been explicitly named-dropped on anything public, my DMs have been... active. lol Rather than rehash what’s been said already, I just want to impart a little wisdom and perspective in the hopes it may soothe frayed feelings and offer a way ahead for cultivating a respectful community. As someone who has been an active participant in online fandoms since the mid-’90s, which was the advent of online fandom content creation (shout out to my fellow X-Philes!), and who has also spent a chunk of her professional life managing social media for the federal government and for activist groups, I can promise you it’s all gonna be okay.

Here’s some context for why strife happens and what we can do to create a more inclusive and communicative fandom environment. 

1) It sounds cliché, but fandoms go through growing pains. 

In the case of the Simon Snow fandom, what was once a small and cozy space untouched by cataclysmic events (such as the release of *gasp* a sequel) has grown exponentially in a relatively short amount of time following the release of Wayward Son. Newcomers are eager to find a home in this space at the same time as folks who’ve been here a while may be consciously or unconsciously wary about widening their circle, and It’s important to remember that this is not necessarily an expression of bad behavior on either side but just human psychology doing its thing. 

The byproduct, however, is that tension and stress builds over time from the lack of meaningful communication across the divide, which subsequently fuels misunderstandings. Ironically, the interfaces we use to communicate don’t help with this because any existing communication about the tension happens in tiny vacuums until a trigger goes off and bad feelings go public. 

Way Ahead: These moments of destabilization are opportunities to see where we can be more self aware about how we engage with fandom and the kind of community we want to be. Can you promote, support, or befriend someone trying to gain a foothold? If yes, please do! Each person must reach their own decision about what they can do within the confines of their available energy, health, and time, but a little self awareness goes a long way as long as you’re honest with yourself and others if applicable about what you can contribute. Anyone who judges you for it isn’t worth the strife.

2) In a fandom comprised of vulnerable/marginalized people, it’s more accurate to say that cliques are “bubbles of trust.”

This one's important. Just by nature of the source material, the CO/WS fandom includes fans with a wide array of backgrounds and experiences, especially when it comes to those who identify with the characters’ queerness, mental illness, and/or trauma. I really believe––based on individual conversations/group chats––that the difficult lived experiences that so many of our fandom peers have endured has produced one of the most open, aware, and accepting fandoms I’ve had the pleasure of participating in. Our vulnerability is, in a real way, our strength.

That said, a community of survivors also has the side effect of cultivating small circles of engagement that I call “bubbles of trust.” When you’re a survivor of abuse, marginalization, mental illness, fill-in-the-blank, it’s often quite hard to risk casting a wide net and expanding your circle to include new faces––which can subsequently be internalized by equally sensitive and vulnerable newcomers as rejection, judgement, or inadequacy.

Way Ahead: First of all, there may indeed be gatekeeping and exclusion going on. But before internalizing someone’s cagey behavior as gatekeeping or purposely exclusionary, ask yourself if you have all the information. Many people are private (I include myself in this assessment) because life has regrettably taught them to be this way, and so they may insulate themselves to a small group of people who have earned their trust. Some people might also triggered by certain content (case in point: smut triggers my anxiety) so they don’t engage with it. Others might have something in their pasts that define how they handle certain subjects (for example, a person of color should not be tone policed for getting angry when confronted with a racialized microagression, however accidental it was). You just don’t know what you don’t know. 

The solution here is to regularly check your privilege and ask questions in a private space if you sense you’re being treated unfairly by someone. If you go public with your grievances in hopes of mobilizing the mob, you may accidentally find yourself stepping into the role of the aggressor instead of the victim.

3) Social Media is not built to help you get engagement. It’s built to help itself make money off of you.

Repeat after me: Hits/likes are not a measurable indicator of talent or worth. There are ridiculously talented folks on Tumblr and elsewhere who, for whatever reason, haven’t had their viral moment, and it’s not their fault. Loads of factors come into play where things like likes, reblogs, and comments are concerned, among them being posting frequency, subject matter, the time of day, the day of the week, the week of the month, the month of the year, the current administration, the stock exchange, the concentration of middle class users, who just won the Superbowl, a madman trying to steal an election and undermine the democratic process, a PANDEMIC, do you get where I’m going with this?? lol

At the end of the day, my humble successes have been helped along by good luck, good timing, high profile signal boosters, and an absurd amount of work. (This is why I try to signal boost new work whenever I get a chance over at @vkelleyshares.) 

So while you cannot control Tumblr’s interface, trends at large, or your fellow users, here’s what you can do to ensure you give your work the best possible chance of exposure.

Have an image ready to go with your post. Tumblr is a visual platform (no matter what it says about being good for text). Not good with images? Set up a Canva.com account and get access to free graphic software with a gazillion templates to create whatever attractive image you want to attach to your post.

Keep the outward facing text brief and easy on the eyes. Too long and eyes will glaze over. Put excess text behind a “read more.”

You may think you’re being cute when you do this, but don’t put yourself down in your posts. (Don���t put yourself down in general, of course.) Doing so acts as engagement repellant. If you don’t believe in your work, no one else will.

Related: Be your best cheerleader. Confidence is a magnet, and if you don’t have it, go ahead and fake it until you start to convince yourself you are worth the buzz. So promote yourself! You have gifts that only you can impart. Use that knowledge to fuel everything you do from your art/fiction writing to your outreach with other content creators, and by golly, if someone’s done it already, acknowledge that contribution and then tell the world that this is YOUR unique take on it.

Treat your fellow fandom creators as human beings, not art/fiction/content boosting machines. I cannot count how many times I’ve had folks slide into my DMs with offers of friendship only to disappear once they realize I’m not available to draw a picture for their fic. It hurts because it’s manipulative and it makes me want to hole up and not signal boost anyone. Creators who truly support each other will not give off a transactional vibe. I want to help you reach more people, but not if that’s all I’m good for in your eyes. 

The long and short of it: Lead with compassion, do your best with the opportunities at  your disposal, and remember that fandom belongs to everyone in it. ❤️

What saves a fandom made of sensitive and vulnerable souls from imploding when it goes through growing pains is radical compassion from those who can offer it. Begin with the assumption that your fellow fandomers are not trying to harm you, and wade into the water knowing that your insight into the lives of your peers is limited by default and you may need to temper your words or actions accordingly. If you’re a content creator, save compassion for yourself as well, as there are indeed challenges to gaining an audience, and lack of engagement does not mean you lack talent or skill. Be your best advocate, and if you have the bandwidth to lift up a fellow creator and make a new friend, please, go ahead do it! 

And finally, fandom belongs to everyone, and no one has a monopoly on characters, tropes, or themes. Create and consume what you love (with respect for your more vulnerable peers), and bask in the variety, my friends!

That’s all I’ve got in my head at the moment, although I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting. Thanks so much to @penpanoply for letting me use her art for this and to everyone else, hang in there and try not to judge each other too harshly. These are unprecedented times, and most of us are doing our best in circumstances that are pushing us to our limits. 

As always, if you have questions or want to sound off on anything, shoot me a message or an ask, or ping me on Discord. It might take me a second to respond (thanks, Covid) but I’ll get to it! Love, love, and more love to all.

[locke-writes]

A Reunion

Author: locke-writes

Title: A Reunion

Request: Before Mark leaves for Mars he’s been flirting with someone at NASA, annoying literally everyone around him and the reader simply because neither will ask the other out but both clearly have feelings for one another. It’s reader who ends up discovering that Mark is alive on Mars and as soon as he gets the ability to contact NASA that flirting relationship begins all over again. Turns into the two of them falling in love from different planets and Mark finally asking reader out when he gets back to Earth (and after he showers, has a few press conferences, sees doctors and dentists and optometrists, and you know the general parade of people one has to see when stuck on Mars for over a year) For: Anonymous

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,218

Tag List: @ofthedewthesunlight​ / ask to be added

You'd met Mark when assisting with training for the Ares 3 mission. It was easy to talk to him, easy to bond with him and that went not just for everyone on the training team but for the crew as well. He was the glue that brought everyone together, that made the mission worthwhile because you knew there was a crew that could mesh well, that knew their jobs and wouldn't overstep their own boundaries. They cared for one another and Mark was the reason for that.

Much like everyone involved with the mission you got along well. He was charming, funny, and intelligent. Friendship grew quite easily at the expense of him learning your propensity for terrible jokes. Although what began solely as jokes and him teaching you odd botany facts turned into a flirtatious near-relationship. The reason it was a near-relationship being that neither one of you wanted to admit your feelings. Having just begun a friendship, turning that into a relationship was something that seemed difficult only in the fact of not wanting to ruin that friendship.

Oh and for Mark it was also the fact that even if you agreed to go on a date he was leaving for Mars and would be gone upwards of six months. It didn't seem fair to you that he should ask you to wait until he returned for a second date.

The other crew members noticed the flirting between the two of you and often left you and Mark alone in rooms together. They had grown from finding the two of you tiptoeing around one another adorable into finding it annoying that neither one of you would admit to your feelings. It was painful to be in the same room as the two of you because banter between you would at one point stray from a quick story about what you did over the weekend and turn into bad pick up lines.

You cared for him, in simple terms you had a crush on him. It was mutual, but it would never be acted upon and that was Mark's first regret when he realized that he had been left on Mars.

He never blamed the crew for leaving him, he knew that based on the damages and readings he was getting from his own suit that they would have read him as being dead. It was hard to blame someone for a decision that couldn't have been made any other way. There was no anger towards anyone at all but himself and only because he knew that there was no chance of him ever seeing you again, at least he believed there was no chance because there was, as far as he was aware, no chance of anyone ever finding out he was alive on Mars.

Of course the news of Mark's death hit everyone throughout NASA with some emotion, but it felt more personal than ever to you. You'd worked with him, you'd befriended him, you'd thought about one day having a relationship with him. In one moment there was hope, in one moment you could imagine the two of you laughing over dinner or holding hands in a movie theater, in the next moment you were at his funeral meeting his parents and giving them your condolences. You were given only a few days to grieve as everyone prepped for news conferences declaring his death publicly, then it was back to work. Back to pretending like nothing had ever happened.

Focusing on projects seemed difficult in the days that passed, perhaps it was only such as you were tasked with beginning the next Ares mission. As one ended the next began and you knew it must be so yet it was hard to focus when the last one had gone awry. An opportunity to cover someone in imaging worked well, it was a position that mainly consisted of looking at coordinates something that while important was also the sort of mind numbing work that you needed in the moment.

Coordinates were handed to you, various projects going on, various planets to maintain logs for. You enjoyed being able to view Saturn, view Jupiter in all their glory. In one way you knew that you'd have to look at Mars for some reason, with Ares 3 not completing the mission it made sense to look after the planet, look after the equipment and vehicles left behind. You knew that the request to scan Mars would come in, the specifics of the reason were not what you were thinking that NASA would want to focus on however and it made you sick to think that this was what NASA was working so hard on.

Search the coordinates of the Ares 3 mission and let them know if you could find Mark's body. The reason for their asking was reasonable, you had to convince yourself, it was the only way to get yourself to type in the coordinates. You'd thought that you had been looking at it wrong, typing in coordinates wrong. The first few days there was the HAB and a rover and nothing out of place, everything where it was meant to be, everything as it had been left. Then one day there were tracks, then one day there were solar panels, then one day it hit you that Mark was alive. He was alive and stranded and the images that you were seeing were accurate, unbelievable but accurate.

There really wasn't one person you knew to contact, you called whoever you could think and word spread quickly. Names were tossed about, names you knew vaguely of people so high up on the food chain that you'd never once believed you'd be in meetings disclosing all information to them. It was odd to be on a first name basis with a director in NASA, it was odd to be on a first name basis with anyone higher than your own manager.

It was odd for Mark to be alive.

Time moved quickly after that although your schedule had shifted to the point where there was no real sense of time. You were set to stare at Mars for hours, meant to be predicting what Mark was up to and pass it on in daily meetings. There was nothing to state, nothing really to predict because you didn't know what was running through Mark's head other than the possible idea that he believed he would die on Mars.

Meetings ran longer and were packed into days. Projects were shortened and funds relocated. You were focused on your tasks, focused on everything that had been assigned to you, focused on being the one to break it to the crew that Mark was alive. Focused on being the one to tell them that they had left him on Mars but could be the potential rescue convoy if a way was discovered. Focused on anything and everything but the way that you felt knowing Mark was alive.

In the beginning you knew it wasn't love. It couldn't have been love because you hadn't known Mark for a long enough period of time. It wasn't love now. Not love, longing.

As foolish as it might have sounded to others, you were still infatuated with him, still cared about him a great deal. Even with the lack of hope that he would make it throughout the days on Mars, that he would come back alive, still there was something that made you want to continue to think on him in the way you had when he was on Earth.

When it was evident that Mark had some form of contact with NASA the first person that he wanted to talk to was you. Yes, his crew would be nice as well but he wanted to make sure that you knew he was alive, he wanted to make sure that what he had left alone on Earth because he thought it wouldn't be fair to you was something that could potentially be back on the table.

He wanted to tell you a great many things.

And as soon as he was able you were the first person that he asked to speak to.

Sitting at the computer on another planet you didn't really know what to tell Mark. Didn't know what he had been told before you were ushered over to communicate with him. Had they told him you were the one to find him? Had they told him how worried you had been? What was he aware of and what was the kind of conversation you had with a man who was as far away as was possible?

It would be the worst long distance relationship in the world if you and Mark were actually dating. It would be the worst conversation in the world if it was anyone other than Mark but it was easy.

It was very easy when he started it off with a terrible pick up line about pirates. Mark had a lot to look forward to when he returned to Mars. Not having to eat pretty much only potatoes all the time, being able to wear real clothes, having more music variety, the list went on and on but the main thing that Mark was looking forward to was seeing you for the first time after coming home.

He needed to see you, to speak with you, and most importantly, to thank you. Having not known what you could disclose and what would remain secret you passed on a list of topics that you deemed part of appropriate conversation with Mark. One of which was the discussion about who had discovered him alive on Mars, it would have meant revealing that it was you who had called everyone, who blew everything wide open. Approval had been given on every topic.

And Mark was grateful. He was grateful that you paid enough attention that you noticed the changes he'd made to the HAB. He was grateful that you had been one of the first people to speak with him. And he was grateful that you continued to speak with him.

Most, if not all of Mark's conversations were open to the public but you'd managed to get permission for a private chat with Mark, completely free from the eyes of every person on Earth. Just you, Mark, and nearly all of NASA who wanted to keep an eye on the chat in case he revealed anything to you that he hadn't to the crew or the engineering team in his other chats.

It was easy to talk to Mark, it was easy for him to talk to you. It was easy for the two of you to fall in love with one another. That was something you worried about telling him but as the days passed, as the months passed and the conversations grew it became more apparent that underneath all the shameless flirting there was love, true unflinching love for one another. You loved one another and that was just one of the things that kept Mark focused on coming home.

Daily conversations were one of the only things that you really looked forward to.

Daily recaps of the proceedings that were bringing Mark home were one of the only things you really looked forward to.

Him coming home was something you were looking forward to.

Preparations were in full swing as the crew of Ares 3 had decided to rescue Mark. Preparations were in full swing as soon as Mark had finished 'upgrading' both rover and HAB. Preparations were in full swing with NASA having meetings set for both the best and worst outcomes.

You new NASA was going to be paying close attention to the retrieval of Mark but you couldn't watch. All you wanted to know was that it was successful and when that word had been passed on to you, relief was all that you felt. You'd be leaving imagining and heading back to your own office now, returning back to a life of some normality while Mark was drifting through space all the way back home.

Home, that's what Mark was thinking when he first set foot on Earth for the first time in over a year.

Home, that's what Mark was thinking when he went through multiple medical exams, all doctors poking and prodding and making certain that the time he spent on Mars hadn't caused any long lasting damage.

Home. That's what he was thinking of.

Home, and you.

He knew technically it would be better if he slept first before seeing you. Knew it would be better to sleep in his own bed in his own apartment after watering his own plants for the first time in too long. But he also knew where your office was and he knew (somewhat) what he wanted to say.

You hadn't known when to expect Mark but you had agreed to see him as soon as it was possible. Him bursting through the door and speaking far too rapidly was not what you had thought, even if it was far too fitting for the man you had fallen in love with.

"Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight, can I kiss you, and also I love you."

[writing-red]

The Silver Letter | 1

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary: It’s their sixth year, Draco and the reader are placed in an arranged marriage by their pureblood families, expected to follow through they navigate their feelings for each other amongst the many other social pressures at Hogwarts.

Warnings: PARENTAL ABUSE! (verbal & physical) murder, and cussing. I am serious these themes are heavy-handed, don’t read something that’s going to hurt you okay?

Word Count: 2.9k

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

“Ooh, a letter from your mum? What’d you do to disappoint her this time?” Ron asked in between bites of his eggs at the sight of the silver envelope bearing your family crease.

“Being friends with you, Weasley is enough to disappoint any mother,” you teased back despite the lump of anxiety in your throat; letters from home were never a good thing.

You come from a line of influential, elitist, purebloods. All Slytherins, of course, and all married for status, never for love. Your parents stood with the Dark Lord in the last war, and stand with him now. When you were sorted into Gryffindor your first year, you expected to be disowned. Instead, you were just a stain on your family’s pristine reputation. You were simply a disappointment, but being that your brother was dead, you were your families’ last hope to continue the family line.

Now, you had been friends with Harry, Ron, and Hermione since your first year, and the four of you were inseparable. They knew everything about you, from your favorite sweet to the grotesque details of your family’s abuse. They cared for you more than anything, as you cared for them.

“Do you want me to read it for you?” Hermione offered, noticing your hesitation at the sight of the silver envelope.

“No ‘Mione, it’s okay but thank you,” you said and broke the seal. “At least it isn’t a howler.”

Darling Y/n,

I have incredibly exciting news!

As you know, your Father and I have desperately been trying to salvage your reputation ever since you fell in with that crowd of mudbloods and bloodtraitors. Luckily for you, we have found a way to do so.

Despite your abhorrent behavior at school, Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy have kindly agreed to an arranged marriage between you and their son Draco Malfoy whom you should know from school. He is a proper pureblood, and from what I have heard, a respectable young man.

Our families’ blood status and our standing in the community and with the Dark Lord secured this marriage. Do not ruin it with your childish behavior and silly ‘ideals’ as you know, they do not stand in our household.

This is your last chance to make things right with us. Neither your Father nor I will hear of any debate on the topic. Do not make the wrong decision; it could be your end.

The wedding shall be this summer after the two of you return from school. I suggest you spend this year getting to know your future husband, not getting into trouble with Harry Potter and his gang. It is time you start taking some responsibility for yourself and your actions Y/n.

We will see you home for Winter Holiday.

Signed,

Layah Y/l/n

You didn’t realize how long you were staring at the letter until Harry waved his fork between your face and the paper which had grown incredibly heavy in your hands.

“Are you alright Y/n/n? What does it say?” Harry asked gently, assuming the worst whatever that may be.

“They’ve put me in an arranged marriage with Draco Malfoy,” you whispered, shocked by the words that left your lips.

“You’re joking,” Ron deadpanned.

“Why in Merlin’s name would I joke about something like that, Ronald?” You seethed.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” He paused. “What’re you gonna do?”

“I don’t know,” you said and passed the letter to Hermione so that she could read it. “Just, for now, please don’t tell anyone, I don’t want everyone talking about this.”

“Of course,” Harry said. “We’re here for you, Y/n.”

“Thanks, Harry.”

“Y/l/n.”

The voice came from behind you, and it startled you. He sounded stern. You turned around to find that the voice that belonged to Draco Malfoy.

“Malfoy,” your voice was shaky despite your attempt at masking your panic.

“We need to talk.”

“Not here,” you said as you looked around at the third-years who were already staring.

“Of course not here, I’m not daft Y/l/n. We’re going on a walk,” He left no room for negotiation in his voice. You were going on a walk.

You rose, leaving your breakfast uneaten and the letter with Hermione. “I’ll see you all later.”

“Let’s go,” Draco said through his teeth.

He grabbed your wrist tightly as you stepped over the long bench in an attempt to rush you. His grip brought a sharp pain to your wrist, but you didn’t want to cause a scene so you exited the Great Hall without a word to the man at your side. It wasn’t until you were outside the castle that you ripped your wrist from Draco’s grip.

“Don’t ever grab me like that again. You understand, Malfoy?” You were still afraid and confused, but that didn’t mean he could treat you however he pleased.

“I’m sorry, I just-” you cut him off.

“I know it’s sudden and confusing, but we both knew an arranged marriage was coming. I just always figured I’d end up with Zabini or Nott,” you understood what he was trying to say, the two of you were an unlikely pairing. “Look, I don’t fancy the idea of marrying you either, Draco, but I don’t have a choice. I don’t have the luxury of parents who care about my wellbeing. I know you don’t like me, you’ve made that plenty clear over the past six years, but this arrangement means more than you think,” As far as you could tell, Malfoy’s were pure. They didn’t abuse and harm their children. They were just the perfect pureblood family, and Draco was their stuck-up, privileged silver boy.

“I’m sorry, loving?” He asked which piqued your curiosity, that’s what he got from that?

“Yes, I said loving, why?” You responded.

Draco scoffed, “Just because I’m not a bloodtraitor doesn’t mean my parents treat me with unconditional love Y/l/n.”

“I’m just a Gryffindor, I couldn’t have controlled that Draco,” you said through gritted teeth; why were you defending yourself to him?

“A Gryffindor who’s friends with a Weasley, a mudblood, and Harry Potter. That was a choice. You want your parents to be nicer to you? Stop being a fuck-up,” He said, acting exactly like the bully you had known all these years.

“So, this is why you wanted to talk? So you could bully me?” you said, you were unintentionally raising your voice.

“It’s your fucking fault we’re talking about this!” Draco matched your tone and volume, getting in your face and under your skin.

“Why did you bring me out here, Draco?” You asked, stepping back and crossing your arms over your chest.

“So we can figure this out,” he said, frustrated, as he ran his hand through his striking platinum blond hair.

“What is there to figure out? Are you going to go tell your mother this isn’t going to happen? That you’d rather be in an arranged marriage with some other pureblood because you don’t like me? You know that isn’t going to happen, Draco. We’d both ought to figure out how to live with this because it isn’t going away.”

“My mother said that I should try and befriend you, that it was my best chance at having a decently happy marriage,” he said under his breath.

His statement caused you to roll your eyes, “Oh well, I’m glad your mother cares about your happiness.”

“What’s with all of the snide remarks about my family?” He asked.

“Do you remember my brother Draco, William?”

“Of course I do, I’m sorry he went the way he did, he was a great man,” he said respectfully

“Yes, a great man who was murdered by his Father for ‘betraying his family’ and doing what’s right. William didn’t die from any accident, Draco, my Father killed him,” you said in a flat tone.

“You can’t know that Y/n,” he said, trying to reason his way out of what you were proposing.

“He did it in front of me and my mother, Draco. In the sitting room in the Manor. Why do you think they were so cold at the funeral, why they never speak of him, why he disappeared from the family tree and every single family portrait? He made the wrong choice, he was a stain on the family image, and he had to be removed. They won’t be afraid of doing that do me.” Red hot tears were leaking from your eyes, not from fear but from frustration. Frustration and anger that Draco couldn’t understand. With that, you pulled off your robe, letting it drop onto the grass below, your red and gold tie following along, and started unbuttoning your shirt.

“Woah, Y/n, what are you doing?” Draco asked, startled by you stripping right outside of the castle.

You pulled your shirt off and turned around, revealing a myriad of scars. Some were clearly fresh, the skin raised, red and angry, while others could have been there for years as they had started resting into your skin, some even beginning to fade. Only Hermione and William had seen them. Harry and Ron knew of them, and your parents had created them. You never planned on showing your scars to Draco Malfoy, especially not now. But you were compelled to prove a point, to show him what they put you through every day, so, here you were, with your arms over your chest and your bareback to Draco Malfoy. 

You could feel his eyes scanning your back, and it was so quiet you could nearly hear his thoughts, “Y/n put this on,” he said after a long moment, tossing you his Slytherin jumper, and picking up your school robes off of the ground.

You caught it and threw it on over your head, turning back to face him. The two of you were closer, and this time when he put his hand on your arm, it wasn’t out of malice, you could even describe it as gentle.

“I’m sorry, alright? I’m still in shock, and, well, Y/n, you’re not the only one with scars, okay? Now we’re going to make this work. For both of our sakes, I don’t know what that means right now, but I’m sure we’ll figure it out, anyways I-” He stopped as if he was censoring himself.

“You what? Draco?” You had no clue why he suddenly stopped.

“Nothing, just nothing, okay?” He was hiding something

“Alright,” you said, not wanting to push things

“Now, did your letter say anything about the winter holiday?” He asked, starting to walk back towards the castle, indicating for you to join him.

“Just that I’m expected home,” you answered.

-

“I showed him the scars,” you said to Hermione, sitting on her bed in your dorm room.

It wasn’t until after dinner that you had the opportunity to tell your best friend everything. After your walk with Draco ended, you had potions, after which came DADA, and so on. You hadn’t the opportunity to even think about the tumultuous morning.

“How’d he react?” She asked, utterly shocked.

“I honestly don’t know, the whole thing was so weird. He was almost kind about it, it was like speaking to a different person,” you said.

“It didn’t look that way when the two of you left breakfast,” she said, referencing his tight grip.

“He was confused like I was, we both got vague letters deciding our fates.”

“Don’t start making excuses for him Y/n,” Hermione shook her head. “He didn’t just change overnight, and he clearly wasn’t being all that nice.”

“Of course! I’m not trying to make excuses, but Hermione, the whole interaction was so different, I don’t know what to think.”

She nodded, “I’m sorry, I’m just worried for you.”

You appreciated the concern and nodded. “Thank you, and I’m worried as well, I just don’t know what for yet.”

“Of course, I’m really sorry that this is how the year is starting.”

“Hey, it isn’t us if it’s an easy term,” you said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“That’s true,” she said and smiled, sadness still lacing her voice.

“I’ll be alright, Hermione, I promise.”

“I’m going to hold you to that, alright?”

“Yes, ma’am,” you said as she pulled you into a tight hug.

-

Draco had always known he’d end up in an arranged marriage of sorts, but he always assumed he’d have some say or warning. However, that morning his family owl arrived with news he hadn’t expected. At the head of the Slytherin table, Draco had the privacy to read the letter without bother.

Dearest Draco,

I know that this feels sudden, but your Father and I have news.

We have been corresponding with the Y/l/n family for some time now, and have come to the agreement that you and Y/n Y/l/n shall be married next summer. Y/n is in your year, I am sure you know her. She may not have the best history, but she comes from an important family in favor of the Dark Lord. This marriage will hopefully prove advantageous for your Father, and for yourself. The Dark Lord himself has approved it.

As your Father says, ‘Being a Malfoy means power, a power that needs to be cultivated, and strengthened with every generation.’ This, Draco, is part of your duty as a Malfoy.

While arranged marriages feel antiquated and stuffy, I admit they do not have to be loveless. Y/n is a passionate young woman, and should you put the effort in, I am sure the two of you could grow close. I would recommend befriending her and getting to know her before the wedding. That is your best chance at a loving marriage.

We shall be spending Winter Holiday at Malfoy Manor with the Y/l/n’s planning the wedding, so please do not make other plans.

Love,

Mother

Draco had to read the letter three times to even begin to understand the sharp turn his life just took, the change that took place with only one letter.

“Dray!” Pansy’s shrill voice cut through his thoughts. “What’re you reading, baby?”

“One, my private affairs are none of your business Parkinson. Two, and we have talked about this, we are not together. Understood?” His words cut her, as they were intended. With that, he rose from his seat and scanned the Gryffindor to find you. Of course, you were with Potter, Granger, and Weasley, you always were. It’s like the four of you were attached at the hip. Without a second look to his housemates and friends, he made his way over to you.

-

Draco always knew your family was far from kind, but he never knew your Father was cruel enough to kill his own son. The scars on your back, the ones that matched his, jabbed at the soft spot in his heart for you. The soft spot that had has always been there. Memories of you surfaced as he thought of the scars racing around your back. Being young and running around the gardens at Malfoy Manor, desperately dodging the peacocks who were not afraid to bite. Seeing you at society events with your Father’s iron grip on your shoulder, and a corset tied far too tightly. The dark bags steadily under William’s eyes despite his cheery demeanor, and his overprotective glance that was always on you. The shift in your posture when any authority figure entered the room or how you would wince at sudden movements or sharp noises. It all suddenly made sense, and Draco’s little crush on you grew even more. He also abruptly had an instinct to protect you and care for you.

At the same time, he knew the two of you disagreed, that you wanted out of the blood-purity culture entirely, that you had far more radical ideas than he, and that the two of you respectfully surrounded yourself with very different people. Your heart was kinder than his; the abuse you’d gone through strengthened you, while it beat him into submission.

Instead of reaching out with love and kindness, Draco did precisely what was done to him. He bullied and hurt people who he was taught were lesser than him. He became a Death Eater, and he would soon be a murderer.

Part 2 - The Red Bottle

[theworldofotps]

Silent Stranger (Part 1)

Pairing: Dexter Lumis x Reader Word Count: 2,377 Description: New to NXT, Y/n makes some new friends who warn her to stay away from one of their coworkers. Misunderstood and silent Dexter can’t help but admire the new woman at work.

Part 2

Part 3

Dedicated to the sweet anon who said they would like to read some Dexter fics in the future. And I had been planning to but never had an idea, my sweet friend Rachael gave me this idea which I love. Anon I really hope you like this, and thank you so much @new-zealand-chic for all your help. Xx

Warning: Povs switch between first and third person throughout the fic. They are separated by ~~~ so hopefully you don’t get confused. ____________ Tag list:

@hungmanhorsecarriage @writtingrose @sjwrites22 @sassymox @the-beastslayers-queen @thewrestlingwarehouse @new-zealand-chic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @xladyxfatex @biforrollynch @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666  @lilred91 @xbreezymeadowsx @rebellious-desires @youcantreignonmyparade @melblacc @undiscovereddisneyroyalty

If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. _____________

“Glad you could finally join us Y/n we’ve heard some amazing things from the PC about you, I truly hope you enjoy working here with us at NXT.”

“Thank you so much Hunter I really appreciate it, I’m sure I’ll love it.”

I smile shaking his hand, standing I pull my bag over my shoulder following behind him as he leads the way from his office.

“I’ve already gone ahead and asked Shotzi to show you around just until you learn the ropes and know where everything this. She was thrilled to be the welcome committee, any questions you have just go ahead and ask her.”

“Thank you that takes away some of the nervousness I had.”

Following Hunter, down a few halls, we come to the back area where a few superstars were sat at tables doing their own thing or eating.

“Hey Shotzi come here for a moment please.”

I watch as an energetic woman comes over quickly her green hair standing out brightly, at least I wouldn’t lose or mistake her for someone else.

“What’s up boss?”

“This is Y/n, she’s the new superstar I was talking to you about the other day.”

“Of course the one I’m showing the ropes to, it’s so nice to meet you I hope that you enjoy working with us here.”

“Thank you, it’s nice to met you too I really appreciate you helping me.”

“You’re welcome, it’s no trouble at all I know how hard it can be when you first get here and who better to befriend on your first day than me?”

Shotzi laughs and lets out a little howl then hooks her arm with mine quickly leading me away from Hunter who chuckles waving. Walking around Shotzi points out a bunch of different areas and even introduces me to a few of the other wrestlers sitting or walking around. 

“What do you think so far?”

“It’s great better than I ever dreamed it could be I’m honestly so excited that this is going to be my life.”

Smiling as we sit at a table with some bottles of water and a bag of chips to share I look around watching everyone.

“Is this everyone?”

“No way, there are some in other parts of the building working out and some didn’t come in today. But you’ll see most of them on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.”

“Okay got it.”

I say eating a few of my chips as nervous as I was to be finally here I was more excited and hoped to befriend some of my coworkers.

“Once you’ve finished eating we can head over to one of the practice gyms and do some work to practice for whatever match you end up having first for your debut.”

“Sounds good to me I’m more than ready to get started.”

Shotzi smiles at me patting my back as we make small talk finishing our snack then heading off to find a ring to work out in. ~~~~~~~ Dexter walks quietly down the hallway he had just finished a match and gotten a shower. Since he wasn't needed for anything else tonight he was going home. Adjusting his duffel bag on his shoulder, he gets halfway through the center before feeling a smaller body crash into his from behind. Thinking it was someone doing an unexpected promo he quickly turns around stopping when he sees the new woman that joined NXT a few weeks ago. 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to run into you. I'm trying to hide from my friend and wasn’t watching where I was going.”

She says and gives him an apologetic smile, Dexter offers his hand helping the woman up off the floor looking her over to be sure she wasn’t hurt then gives an incline of his head. She was trying to keep her balance as she adjusted her shoe. Hearing someone call her name he turns and leaves continuing on his way to the parking lot. Not noticing the woman left standing behind, staring after him. Getting into his car he starts it pulling out of the lot and driving back home.

That was the first time he had seen her face to face, the last few weeks she was at Full Sail he had taken a genuine interest in her. He had learned a little about her having overheard conversations with their coworkers while he was eating lunch. He honestly was kind of hoping to run into her sooner or later and found himself wanting to befriend the woman. He just wasn't sure how to go about it, maybe it was just best for him to be silent and wait. It was what he did best and he really didn't want to let people know he was curious about her.  

The drive from Full Sail to his house was filled with a little music playing on the radio. Other than that his mind was just wondering, he couldn't help but smile when he moved and the faint scent of your perfume hit his nose. You hadn't even touched him for that long. Parking in the garage once home he goes inside. Dexter was more than ready to sleep; he just needed to brush his teeth and change into pajamas. Stepping into his bedroom Dexter begins stripping crawling into bed once he is changed and settled. He was excited to go back to work to see you. 

~~~~~~~~~ Looking up from my book I smile seeing Finn walk into my room carrying a small vase full of flowers. 

"Y/n delivery." 

"Hey Finn, wow those are beautiful where did they come from?"

"I don't know I was coming to see if you wanted to grab lunch with Shotzi and I. They were sitting on the floor outside your door and there is a card that says. 'Hope you enjoy these flowers, they pale in comparison to you.'"

“Awe that’s so sweet.”

Standing I took the flowers, smelling them then reading the card, it was typed out so I wasn’t able to find out from handwriting who sent them. 

“I wonder why they didn’t sign their name.”

“Well if you ask me I think you have an admirer.”

“Oh come on Finn I haven’t even been here that long how could someone admire me?”

Setting the flowers on my small table I read over the card once more as he sighs dramatically and sits down next to me.”

“Because you’re an awesome person who just seems to draw people in even when you don’t mean to. I know you don’t feel like you’re good at making friends but people just can’t help but want to be around you.”

“If you hadn’t trained me at the PC would you have felt that way when I came here?”

“Probably then again I don’t know, being the champ makes me busy so it’s a probability but I’m sure we would have become friends quickly anyway.”

“Awe that’s sweet of you.”

Pinching his cheek lightly I laugh as he swats my hand away standing back up and stretching. 

“You wanna go get some lunch?”

“Yes I’m hungry.”

Standing I grab my phone pocketing it and following Finn from the room shutting the door behind me, placing my arm through his grinning.

”Lead the way Prinxey.”

~~~~~~~~

Dexter watches from the shadows as Finn picked the flowers up that he had left for y/n, he really hoped that you liked them. Waiting until you left he walked over with a small gift box full of a few things for a self care day. Opening the door a crack he slides the gift in, he didn’t want to invade your privacy by going all the way in. And he was thankful you hadn’t remembered to lock the door before you left. Closing your door gently Dexter quickly leaves just to keep anyone from spotting him. Going back to his room he sits down to start on a drawing he was doing for you.

For the next month Dexter left you small gifts, drawings and notes just something to make you smile. Nobody could tell you who it was doing this all and he couldn’t believe his luck that you hadn’t found out it was him yet. You two still had no communication apart from the night you ran into him. He was good at staying hidden and to be honest he was nervous about how you’d react. It wasn’t any secret that a lot of people thought he was weird and even a bit scary. But the few people he had managed to befriend they all stayed out of each other's intimate relationships. And he wasn't sure if he wanted to go changing that now. ~~~~~~

"I can't for the life of me figure out who's been sending these gifts."

"Have you gotten any new ones lately?" 

Looking across the table at Johnny whose wife I was currently feuding with, I nod my head. Reaching into my bag I pull out the most recent picture. Handing it to him I watch as he looks it over then shows it to the guy beside him. 

"I can almost guarantee you that it's Lumis, he's the only person around here I've seen that draws like this."

Johnny says and hands the picture back with a chuckle.

"Which one is he?" 

I ask as if I didn't already know, I had been paying attention to Lumis since that night I ran into him. There was just something about his presence that made me want to know more about him. 

"He's that really tall guy kind of blonde colored hair, mustache and muscles he wears those leather gloves when he wrestles." 

Johnny says and then points towards the door over my shoulder. 

"That one right there, aye Dexter! Are you the one sending these weird pictures to Y/n?"

"Like you'd actually stand a chance?"

The guy sitting with Johnny laughs loudly, frowning I watch as Dexter stops in his tracks staring at our table. He quickly turned away leaving the catering area.

"Why would you do that?"

"Oh come on y/n don't worry or waste your time on Lumis he's a freak that's why he stays to himself."

Johnny listens to his friend before turning his attention back towards me.

"You'd do your best to stay away from him y/n honestly."

"I think that should be my choice to make and right now I'm going after him. I suggest you two find something else to do then be awful to someone who just doesn't wanna talk to people."

Grabbing my things I quickly leave the catering area looking down the hallways. I had no idea where Dexter had gone or even what room he stayed in. Pulling my phone out I text Finn.

Y/n🎶⭐: Do you know where Dexter's room is?

Hitting send I begin walking around if Finn couldn't help me I may have to find a staff member who could.

Finn😈👑: It's one hall down from mine left turn

Finn😈👑: Why?

Y/n🎶⭐: Cause Johnny thinks he's the one that's been sending me the pictures and gifts and they called him out on it and I think they made him feel bad

Y/n🎶⭐: So I wanna talk to him

Finn😈👑: Dexter doesn't really talk to anyone here except for the few people that he's friends with

Y/n🎶⭐: It's worth a shot

Finn😈👑: Just be careful and if you need anything let me know

Y/n🎶⭐: I know thanks Finn

Pocketing my phone I make my way down the hallways heading for Finn's room. Once past it I go down turning left. I look at the doors, not all the superstars had their own changing rooms but Dexter's was one of the only few back here. Taking a deep breath I knock on the door then step back to wait and see if he opened the door.

"Hi Dexter."

I wave after he opens the door.

"Can I come in please?"

Dexter steps out of the way after a moment of hesitation, stepping inside I walk a little farther in his room and look around. He motions to the couch, smiling at him I sit down fiddling with my fingers in my lap.

"We haven't formally met apart from me running into you, I'm Y/n. I wanted to come and apologize for how Johnny and whatever his friend's name treated you. I didn't think showing him the picture would cause that, I was just hoping he could help me figure who sent it."

Pulling out the picture I place it on the small coffee table between us.

"Did you do this? Are you the one who's been giving me the flowers, little gifts and drawings."

Watching Dexter rub a hand against his neck then nods his head, smiling at his gaze darting around the room I place it back in my bag.

"I want to thank you for everything. It was really sweet of you. You don't have to be embarrassed about it either if you were, I'm actually quite flattered."

I explained looking around the room, he hadn't said anything yet and I wasn't sure what else to really say.

"I know you don't really say much but maybe would you like to exchange numbers? I think we could be really good friends, and it would be easier for you."

Dexter nods and grabs his phone, swapping we put our names in and I hand it back.

"Well I guess that I better go, I have a practice match coming up and I don't wanna miss out. Thank you again."

Standing I walk to the door Dexter holding it open for me, stepping out I turn giving his hand a light squeeze then quickly making my way back towards my room. I felt really good about how it went and I hoped we could be friends. Stopping at my door when my phone goes off I pull it out smiling.

D. Lumis👁️👁️: Would you like to go get coffee or something sometime? Maybe Wednesday morning?

Y/n💮: I would love to😊

[shingia]

　　　　　 ❝𝐌𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓❞

　　　　　　　　　𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟐 : 　　　　　　　　 — 𝟏𝟕/𝟑𝟔/𝟐𝟓 —

— a/n : yes i’m late, no i don’t have any excuse :’) also yes i have an obsession with the song in the link

— word count : 2k

BACK TO DIRECTORY

chapter 1 < chapter 2 > chapter 3

July 28 - 2:51pm

it turns out that there are still many things to do in a town that is completely cut off from the rest of the world.

while some people are in charge of cooking for everyone using the rations that were gathered yesterday, others - like kita - decided to work in the fields next to the lake, where they hope to eventually grow some food, while you took over the pharmacy, where a resource inventory is also required.

as for the rest of your housemates, they all have pretty particular jobs : akaashi and kenma took the lead of a research team made of three other people (that you remember to be the most clever of your high school). and based on what kenma shared with you yesterday during breakfast, they’re mostly working on finding the meaning behind the radio and the tattoos.

but those who really seem to be having a field day are kuroo, bokuto and konoha, in charge of maintaining order and making sure that everyone contributes to the life of the community every day. you know that they have absolutely no idea of what they’re doing. but they seem content with their job… even though bokuto spends a little too much time lurking in the kitchen…

but your desperate and exhausted sighs are interrupted by the four melodious notes of the doorbell, followed by what sounds like the footsteps of more than one person. not wanting to lose count of how many painkillers are in the shelves in front of you, you decide to remain quiet and to wait for whoever just entered to speak up and ask their question.

but your desperate and exhausted sighs are interrupted by the four melodious notes of the doorbell, followed by what sounds like the footsteps of more than one person. not wanting to lose count of how many painkillers are in the shelves in front of you, you decide to remain quiet and to wait for whoever just entered to speak up and ask their question.

but your desperate and exhausted sighs are interrupted by the four melodious notes of the doorbell, followed by what sounds like the footsteps of more than one person. not wanting to lose count of how many painkillers are in the shelves in front of you, you decide to remain quiet and to wait for whoever just entered to speak up and ask their question.

« we need band-aids », a voice resounds behind you.

well, that’s clearly not a question.

you turn around to see who’s that « we » in need of band-aids, and suddenly, the tone that they used doesn’t seem as surprising. what is surprising, on the other hand, is the state in which suna, atsumu and osamu are in. the skin on their face, arms and even legs is covered in scratches that look fresh. atsumu’s are the worst looking.

« what the fuck happened to you three ? » you articulate, not able to stop staring at the one that’s extremely close to suna’s left eye.

osamu offers you a sheepish smile, but his twin looks much more confident as he decides to explain the situation to you :

« well, we were minding our own business in the backyard of the house we moved in - very nice house by the way, an old lady lived there and i can tell you that she had taste… »

« get to the point, atsumu » you say with a pressing tone.

« ok, long story short : we got jumped by a bunch of guys for absolutely no reason… but i can assure you that they look worse than we do »

and he finishes his sentence with a wink, before suddenly shutting both his eyes as osamu and suna each give him a loud slap on the forehead. confused but intrigued, you’re ready for one of them to set the record straight :

« he’s full of shit » osamu tells you, glaring accusingly at his brother, « we got these scratches because he wanted to befriend that old lady’s fucking cat, who turned out to be batshit crazy. and that’s why we need bandaids… please. »

the snort you let out comes from a place of pure genuineness. and although atsumu and suna look as vexed as ever, osamu seems to have come to terms with the fact that a single cat was able to get the upper hand on the three of them.

« i’d really love to help you » you lie before beginning to walk away, « …unfortunately i can’t give you guys any type of medication »

but the feeling of suna’s fingers tightening around your arm makes you stop dead in your tracks.

« what the fuck did you just say? »

it’s hard to pretend like his tone doesn’t make you want to take a step back, and saying that his gaze isn’t hard to hold would be a lie… yet you still manage to calmly use your other hand to make him let go. it’s about time someone stands up to him in this town.

« didn’t you hear what was decided today? » you start, not only looking at him but also at the twins who stayed back. « anyone who refuses to work for the community isn’t allowed to benefit from its services... but you were probably too busy being assaulted by a kitten to come to the meeting », you finish with a honeyed smile.

atsumu lets out an indignant gasp, but his brother only heaves a defeated sigh - almost like he already knew that their behavior would lead to this kind of consequence. but suna’s reaction is much different : a smirk that tugs on his lips while his eyes are still set on you.

« looks like i found another kitten who’s baring her teeth… », he sneers and you can already hear the twins trying to hold back their laughs. « what tells you that we aren’t contributing to the life of the community, mmh? »

the thought of putting a red handprint on his cheek is so tempting that you have to cross your arms to refrain yourself. but your clenched jaw and furrowed eyebrows make it pretty obvious that the way he’s talking to you - in such a confident yet sly tone - is insufferable. and as usual, osamu is the first to put an end to any tension caused by his friends…

« in fact we didn’t just come here for some band-aids. we had an idea and… since we’ve already convinced about half of the town, we thought it’d be good to let you know about it too »

at his words, atsumu’s face lights up and - too eager to let his brother explain this ‘idea’ to you - he takes a few steps forward until he’s the closest to you, practically shoving suna out of the way.

« have you already played a game of fugitive? » he asks enthusiastically, with an almost childlike spark in his eyes.

« a what? » you repeat, still keeping a wary eye on suna and osamu who are starting to wander around the pharmacy.

atsumu looks even more excited now that he’s about to explain the rules - and you have no choice but to listen closely :

« basically, there are two teams : the runners, that we call the fugitives, and the drivers. the runners are all given wristbands at the beginning of the game, and the goal is for the drivers to collect all the wristbands. like a big hide and seek! except you have to stay outside. »

it does seem pretty fun, you think, not realizing that osamu and suna are now out of sight. but still, there’s one point that you’d like to clarify :

« when you say ‘drivers’… you mean that literally? »

« yeah! we stole - well, technically it’s not really stealing - the keys of a few cars we saw in the neighborhood yesterday. by the way, some families here are rich rich... »

well, you’re certainly not going to lecture him on the notion of private property now. the only thing you’re hoping for is that nobody will get hurt - because between a racing car and a human body, the winner isn’t hard to guess.

« we’re playing tonight. you should come, it’ll be fun! » he assures you. « we used to do that all the time back home. and besides… your friends have already said yes »

« they have? » you exclaim in surprise, before putting more thought into it and realizing that this sounds exactly like the type of game that the kuroo, bokuto and konoha would love. as for akaashi and kenma… they can be persuaded. « in that case, i’m in » you shake his inviting hand, « but this doesn’t count as working for the community »

the blonde twin doesn’t seem to agree with you. whatever this game is, it looks like it was a big thing at inarizaki - which doesn’t make you feel necessarily reassured since they’re probably much more experienced than you. but you’re not listening to his complaints anymore, because in the corner of your eyes, you spotted something that was clearly not meant for you to see.

« suna, come here » you order, and watch him share a brief look with samu before obeying you, « empty your pockets »

« damn sweetheart, where did your good manners go? i don’t even get a ‘please’ ? », he smirks, but keeps his hands shoved in the pockets of his grey pair of shorts.

« i won’t let you out of here until i see the contents of your pockets »

before he gets to answer, osamu gives him a slight push on the shoulder. probably his way of saying that he should just do as told. you had already noticed the dynamic of mutual respect between these three, but the fact that suna doesn’t even try to contest his friend’s advice only confirms it.

one by one, he proceeds to take out three packs of band-aids from his pockets. and if he wasn’t looking at you while doing so, his eyes definitely stay locked with yours when he drops them to the floor with a small « oopsie ».

you let out a desperate sigh.

« ok suna, you’re a rebel. we get it » you start, kicking the band-aids out of your way before making one step towards him. « everyone in this fucking town gets it. but what are you trying to prove exactly? »

still behind you, atsumu snickers and you’re not really sure whether it’s at you or at his friend. but he’s not your priority right now. in fact, your priority is already starting to walk away from you, and it takes all your self-control not to hold him back by the sleeve.

« i’m not the one spending my entire day working here just because someone asked me to » suna respond with his back turned on you as he designates the whole store with a gesture of the arm. « so the question is, what are you trying to prove ? »

this time, and it’s probably the first time, both twins decide to step in as things start to get heated. both of them put one hand on your shoulder in a way that they probably think is reassuring, but really makes you feel awfully outnumbered. and let’s be real, almost unsafe.

« say, samu. don’t you think tonight would be the perfect opportunity for them to settle this little… disagreement? », atsumu asks him, close enough to your ear to make you inhale sharply.

« i was about to say the same thing, tsumu » his twin nods with a satisfied tone, before addressing you. « if we take your wristband tonight, you’ll give us free access to what you called the ‘town services’. but if, somehow, you manage to keep it, we’ll choose a job and start to work tomorrow. deal? »

it’s a losing bet, you already know it. three drivers versus one inexperienced fugitive is the furthest thing from fair - even though you have the advantage of knowing the town like the back of your hand. but these three boys that are now staring at you like some kind of prey don’t really seem to care about fairness.

« deal », you let out, biting the flesh inside your cheeks.

you’re not sure which twin gives you two patronizing pats on the head, but it’s definitely atsumu’s voice that you hear right before they all head out into the sunny street.

« hey, maybe we should tell her that we’ve never lost a game… » he whispers to his friends.

osamu’s already outside when suna gives one last glance at you over his shoulder. for a second, it almost seems like he’s thinking about what atsumu just said. but his mind is quickly made up.

« she’ll realize it soon enough »

TAGLIST : @shoyotime @maizumis @toworuu @maitenight @kageyamas-love @smolmo @u-make-my-heart-tsumtsum @sunarinluvr @underratedmage @cyanma @pixelwisp @kyuuni @ijustwantfreenetflix @aspenss @rintarovibes @itoshibaby @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @livy384 @akkeyomi @lilith412426 @4kaashl

[kodzumie-archived]

Um... Have this lil fic where Nagito confuses a handshake for a high five... AAAAAAA

Ending up on an island on your first day of school wasn’t how you expected your first day of school to go. Usami, the self-proclaimed teacher, explained some things after the guy with a large ahoge blacked out. After that, everyone went separate ways. They just left the poor guy alone, with the cute cloud-haired boy. That’s why you ended up sticking around too.

“Hey,” You smiled at him. If you’re gonna wait for this dude to wake up, might as well introduce yourself to the other person waiting with you. “You’re the ultimate (talent), right?” He grinned. Omg he’s so precious.

“Ahaha, yeah. I’m guessing you read that at a forum or something?” You rubbed the back of your neck with your hand. Hopefully, this guy isn’t a stalker? He’s handsome and all, but still. “Yeah... I… ah… I looked up information about everyone before I came to the school.” Good for him. You didn’t bother searching up the names of my classmates before going to school but with your situation right now, that might’ve been useful. “Although, I only remember your hopeful face. I’m sorry...” He looked down in shame.

 “A-ah! It’s alright, dude! You don’t need to worry about it!” You frantically tried to comfort (?) him while waving your arms around to assure him it’s fine. “I’m (Y/n) (L/n)! And I’m the ultimate (talent), as you already know!” You grinned and stuck your hand out for a handshake. “Ah... I should probably introduce myself as well... My name is Nagito Komaeda, the ultimate lucky student. Pleased to meet you!” He returned the smile, and then slapped your hand as if you were giving him a high-five.

He... what?

“Oh... Did I do something wrong?” He asked, looking concerned as your hand remained still in the air. “Komaeda...?” You slowly looked at him, trying to form words to ask why he did that. “D-did you just confuse a handshake for a high-five...?”

He tilted his head, cutely before realizing what he did. “I- uh I’m sorry... I didn’t know... Heh..” He shook his head while looking down at his shoes. Dude, what is up with him? You badly had an urge to hug him-. “NO! I mean- no, it’s okay, Nagi- A-ah! I mean Komaeda! I think it’s really cute!” You chuckled nervously, attempting to lighten the mood. You are not comfortable on the energy you made right now. “Cute?” He looked at you, curiously. “Nobody ever called me that before! Not even my own mother!” He chuckled. Your jaw dropped as you looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. Is... is he okay?

The boy that collapsed started so move so Nagito’s attention turned towards him. You smiled slightly. He’s kind and all, but you don’t know him much. He’s also cute and has a nice voice sO-. Although, he also seems a little strange. Or is it just because of your current situation? Either way, you’re determined to befriend him. Little do you know that with his luck, he could possibly the most dangerous human being.

－👻  anon :D

⤷ Kodzumie; tHIS IS SO CUTE!! BUT LIKE I GREATLY ENJOY THE READER’S AWARENESS OF HIS ECCENTRIC BEHAVIOR!! IT PUTS SUCH A REALISTIC SPIN OF THOUGHT PROCESS, AND I LOVE THAT!!

I also adore the personality and dialogue choice you’d given to the reader!! Ah, I remember when you’d written about a ghost! reader x Komaeda and the personality for the reader there was also wonderful!!

I really, really love how you put them in the perspective of a genuine person! Their dialogue feels very much like how someone—in our real life—would communicate and I love that! It makes the story feel much more connected to its readers, and that’s such an incredible aspect to accomplish!!

THIS IS AMAZING!! THERE’S SO MANY ASPECTS INTO IT THAT ELICIT READER REACTION AND INDULGENCE, I LOVE IT!! THIS IS ALSO SUCH AN ADORABLE SCENARIO, ESPECIALLY WITH THE HIGH FIVE!! I LOVE YOUR WRITING AND IDEAS SO MUCH!! <3

[raineydaywrites]

working on from then til now (part 3 of 5)

link to part 1 (x), part 2 (x), ao3 (x)

As more and more days passed with no sign that Angus had said anything to the Director about what Taako had told him, he started to relax a little, wondering if the kid maybe had chosen not to say anything at all.

Taako didn't understand that, but he wasn't going to question it when that might prompt Angus to reconsider. Maybe the kid had decided not to break up the Reclaimer team. Sure, Magnus and Merle could get the relics too, but the three of them worked well together and all, so it might be too much of a pain to replace him now.

Maybe the kid even decided to spare him because he liked Taako? He'd asked for more magic lessons after the first, and Taako had agreed, because he was still bored, and that first magic lesson had proven surprisingly fun, and Angus had talent. He was hard on himself, but Taako knew how to pick up on genuine talent when he saw it.

He really hoped it was one of those first explanations, and not the one that sometimes snuck into his mind late at night, when the worst thoughts always arrived.

He really hoped that Angus wasn't scared of him. He might be. Had a right to be. Taako had killed a lot of people, and he was a powerful fucking wizard, and he'd even threatened him- jokingly- about what he'd do if Angus ever surpassed him in wizardly talents.

Not to mention the fact that his Umbra Staff had randomly blasted Ango's macarons with fire for no apparent reason. Angus seemed to believe Taako when he said that the Staff had been acting on its own- but what if he didn't?

It was an irrational fear. Angus wouldn't have asked for more magic lessons if he was afraid of him. He'd just avoid him, right?

But irrationality never stopped anxious thoughts from plaguing anybody.

-

Angus didn't know what to do. He liked Taako. He enjoyed spending time with him, and he was really happy that Taako had agreed to keep teaching him magic.

He wanted it to be as simple as that.

But he couldn't forget who Taako was. He couldn't stop thinking that it was a betrayal to his parents to like their killer so much.

He couldn't stop thinking of Taako fondly.

The more time he spent with Taako, the weirder he felt about all of it. The more he found himself loving Taako. The more he found himself hating himself for the betrayal.

He needed to confront Taako, but instead he was befriending him. What was he thinking?

As he let his thoughts stew, he was embarrassed to realize that the Director was speaking to him. Probably had been for a bit, judging by the tone of her voice when she said his name.

"Angus?"

"I- I'm so sorry, ma'am, I got distracted. Could you repeat that?" Angus said, blushing.

"I was asking if you're okay, Angus," the Director said, brows furrowed together in concern as she watched him.

"Yes, ma'am, I'm fine!" Angus said.

"Really?" The Director did not seem to believe that at all.

"Well- no- I mean- I'm having a personal issue. But it won't interfere with my work, I promise!" Angus assured.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?" the Director said, and she hesitated before sitting down next to Angus on the little bench he'd been on for- he wasn't sure how long.

"Not really," Angus sighed. He wished that she could. It would be so nice if he could tell her everything and have her present a neat solution, but it couldn't happen.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

Angus did. But if he told her, then it would only make things more complicated. If he told her, then she'd have to decide if Taako's abilities outweighed the fact that he'd been responsible for such a tragedy as the Glamour Springs disaster. She was a really good person, and Angus didn't think that such a decision would weigh easy on her mind. He didn't want to make things harder for her.

Maybe he'd tell her, if he thought she could actually fix everything, but he didn't. He was having a conflict of emotions and morals, and he had to figure it out for himself. No one else could do it for him.

Besides which, it felt like a betrayal to Taako to share something like that, that Taako had shared with him in confidence. He didn't want to get Taako in trouble when he still hadn't even figured out how he felt about all of this.

"I don't think- that I can. It's not my story to tell," Angus said, finally.

"I understand," the Director said. "But if you ever need to talk, please know that I will listen."

She stood then, but didn't walk away quite yet.

"But I urge you to talk to someone about it. Perhaps the individual whose story it is. It's important to communicate about your struggles. Sometimes you can't, I know," she said, and her voice took on a very sad, longing tone, and Angus wondered again what her life had been like before this. "But- through all the difficulties I've had, I've found that it's better when you have people at your side. There will always be problems that you cannot be open about, but that makes it all the more important to be open when you can."

There was a sincerity and a weight to her voice that made Angus want to listen to her advice.

"Thank you ma'am. I'll- see what I can do," Angus offered, giving a bright smile to thank her for her words. She so clearly meant them, and it meant a lot to Angus that she wanted to help.

"Good. I hope that your issue eases up soon. You deserve- I only want what's best for everyone," she smiled back at him, and Angus found himself feeling a little lighter.

She was right, much as he hated the thought of airing out everything.

He would never get past this if he didn't communicate about it.

He had to speak with Taako.

-

When Angus had asked to speak in private, Taako had immediately gone tense. This could only be about one thing.

He'd hoped that Angus wouldn't feel the need to talk about the situation ever again. It wasn't exactly something that Taako liked to relive.

But what was he supposed to do? The kid deserved to be heard out. He deserved to deal with the kid's reaction. And anyway, Angus had a sword hanging over Taako's head in the form of knowing Taako's biggest secret.

Taako didn't think that Angus wanted to blackmail him, but he also knew that Angus could and would under the right circumstances.

So he agreed, and found himself in Angus' dorm room, waiting for judgement.

Angus' room was kind of adorable, Taako hated to admit. It was small, and his bed had a bunk that no one used- the moon base had a limited amount of real estate, and clearly the Director had struggled with finding a space that was appropriate for a kid to live in. Angus needed his own room since he was, like, a child and couldn't bunk with an adult stranger, but the single bed rooms were mostly suites, with kitchens and sometimes other bedrooms, which Angus didn't need.

Kid had limited cooking experience, as evidenced by the sugar-less macarons, and he was too short for adult-human sized appliances and too tall for a gnome or dwarf sized kitchen to be very comfortable either.

It looked like she'd settled on taking a bunkbed out of one of the initiate-type dorm rooms, leaving Angus with a little more space and privacy. There was a desk against one wall, and Taako wasn't surprised to see that it was very neat, but the little stuffed toys lining the back of it were a cute surprise. They were clearly decorative, and Taako was sure that the kid would rather be caught dead than playing with them, but it was adorable anyway.

He had a bookshelf, half lined with colorful kids' chapter books, mostly Caleb Cleveland novels, and half with thick tomes in dark colors.

Taako tried to keep the grin on his face from becoming too soppy. It was cute yeah, but he was a stone-cold motherfucker, and he wouldn't be caught turning into mush over a dumb kid.

"So, what's up bubeleh?" Taako asked, dropping into the chair at the desk and leaning it back on two legs, trying to keep it casual.

"I need to talk to you about what happened at Glamour Springs," Angus said, his face drawn and serious.

Taako stopped rocking the chair, but didn't look over at Angus. So that confirmed that Angus knew everything. Must have done his research if he now knew where it had gone down.

"Shoot," Taako said.

"You killed forty people at Glamour Springs because you made a mistake with magic you weren't familiar with," Angus said.

Taako winced at the words like they were a physical blow, but they were certainly true.

Angus paused, but Taako didn't know what to say. What was there to say? He couldn't justify it any more than he already had.

"Two of them were Sam and Dianne McDonald," Angus said, voice wavering and thick. "My parents."

Taako felt his blood go cold and his mind go dark. No. Fuck. Gods, what had he done?

It had been a long time since Taako let himself think of his victims. He tried to avoid it most of the time. But here was a reminder, standing right in front of him, tears in his eyes. He found his mind casting back to that horrible moment all over again, trying to visualize them. Trying to pick them out from the crowd.

But he'd spent so long trying to forget that day, the crowd had just turned into a blur of horrified faces and dying people.

He'd always felt so bad about them that he'd rarely had much guilt to spare for the other victims- the families of everyone he'd killed. The parents and sibling and friends- the children that he had orphaned.

Whatever happened now, he wouldn't protest. His past had finally caught up to him, and he had no right to avoid it.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Angus said, and his voice cracked, and Taako felt a stabbing pain in his chest over it.

"What can I say?" Taako asked, and it was a genuine question. He wanted to say something that would help, but no words would undo what he'd done. "I'm sorry, Angus. I'm so fucking sorry."

Angus just sobbed at that. Taako always hated it when people cried, but he still found himself wanting to comfort the kid. He wanted to hug him and soothe him, which was a big difference from his usual tactic of running from emotions as fast as possible. But would his comfort even be welcome?

"I know you're sorry," Angus finally mumbled.

He brought up his hands to scrub tears from his eyes, pushing his glasses roughly out of the way in the process. He looked so little. He'd been even littler when he'd lost his parents.

Taako had expected anger if he ever met someone who loved any of his victims. Who wouldn't be angry at something like that?

But this was worse. It was so much worse than anger ever could have been. It broke his heart. He hated seeing Angus like this. He just wanted to make it better.

"Babe, come here," Taako said, reaching for Angus. It was instinctive, an offer without any conscious thought behind it. He wasn't good at comfort, but it seemed that his subconscious at least had some idea of how to do it.

He didn't expect Angus to listen. He hadn't expected the kid to immediately dart into his arms and start to cry into his shirt. He let it happen anyway. This was the least he could do after what he'd taken from the kid.

He held Angus close as the kid cried, offering soft comforting noises intermittently, feeling more helpless than he could remember ever feeling before.

Angus managed to cry himself into a state of exhaustion, and fell asleep right there in Taako's lap. Taako had never felt so guilty as he did then, realizing that the kid trusted him anyway. Realizing that he valued the kid's trust. Realizing that he never would have met this kid if he hadn't messed up so bad at Glamour Springs.

How dare he gain any happiness from that? It was selfish to be happy to have Angus in his life when it came at the cost of Angus losing his parents, and his parents and so many others losing their lives. He had no right to love Angus, let alone to be loved back.

Taako had long ago accepted that he was a selfish person, but this went so far beyond that. He couldn't seem to stop it though. And what was he supposed to do? Leave the kid to grieve alone, avoid facing responsibility for what he'd done? Surely that was worse.

Taako picked Angus up, gently, settling him onto the bed. He took off the kid's shoes and his glasses, setting them by the side of the bed for when Angus woke.

He didn't notice his own tears until one fell onto Angus' face as he was pulling the blanket over him, and then, having noticed, it was all he could do to keep his crying silent so as to not wake Angus.

He couldn't walk back to his room like this. He probably shouldn't leave Angus alone either.

Taako sat down on the wall farthest from Angus' bed, and clapped a hand over his mouth to hold back the urge to sob.

part 4 (x), part 5 (x)

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Analysis of El if you'd like.

Always so humble with the requests. Of course I’d like, otherwise I wouldn’t ask. Ask away, people! Oh, and FYI to everyone, when I see a like less than a minute after I post one of these long posts, it makes me wonder if you people are really reading them. Don’t assume you’re going to like them. Read them, and then decide. El can be a touchy subject considering she has such a rabid fan base. She is an extremely complex character, and it is unlikely that the Duffers have a detailed understanding of child psychology. The character therefor likely wasn’t designed with such theories in mind, but in psychology there is decent amount of common sense that writers may have drawn on. In real life, El would be quite the interesting case study. She was born and raised in a controlled lab setting. Everything in her life was strictly controlled until she was 12/13 or so. For another year after that she was still very limited in her freedoms and opportunities as she was hidden away in Hopper’s cabin. For several months after that she was only allowed out to see her friends, but never in a public setting it would seem. All of this has strictly limited her socioemotional growth. 

El’s cognitive development seems to be the least impacted, not accounting for physical development which I wouldn’t even attempt to determine. Her cultural knowledge is almost nonexistent when we first meet her, which is to be expected given her upbringing. Nevertheless, she possesses problem solving skills, has shown impressive concentration and information processing speed (staying focused on her tasks and reacting to new stimuli, such as an attack), an ability to form basic arguments (as shown in her fights with various characters), and receptive language skills. She does seem to have deficits in productive language, which is likely a result of her extremely limited social exposure. The traits she is shown to do well with are likely the result of careful conditioning by Dr. Brenner and his colleagues. She was designed as a weapon, and would therefor need to work quickly, efficiently, and decisively based on orders given. She also, somewhat surprisingly given her catchphrase, has shown the ability to lie (when she intentionally led Mike, Dustin, and Lucas on a wild goose chase). This shows her ability to use planning and judgement to decide and execute a course of action (whether that was a good or bad idea is up for debate).

Her emotional and social development are seriously stunted. When we meet El she possesses little affect (the verbal and non-verbal cues that convey feeling when communicating). She speaks in a flat voice, stares blankly, and has limited usage of body language. She does get an edge to her voice when angry, but her speaking volume rarely changes unless in a high-stress situation. This shows a delay in emotional development. Emotional development goes through a series of stages. To some extent, emotions are instinctual and necessary to survival, but the expression of said emotions is usually learned and conditioned. We don’t know much about El’s early childhood, but it is unlikely that emotional expression was encouraged. El does possess basic emotions like happiness, anger, sadness, and fear. Her limited ability to express emotions early in the show is likely a result of Dr. Brenner wanting to limit her emotional responses. He wouldn’t want a weapon that was afraid or remorseful. He did seem to value having a bond with her, as she seemed to desire his approval and called him “Papa.” He is shown treating her very poorly in general, and even worse when she was a disappointment to him. Her lack of affect could also be modeled on him, as he generally speaks very evenly regardless of his mood.

El’s emotional development does gain some traction in seasons 2 and 3 as she is exposed to others. This is a good segue to her social development. Before escaping the lab, she seems to have little to no social experience. She seems to have had some early socialization with Kali at the lab, but she had no memory of this. Her first real social experiences occurred when she met Benny (who treated her kindly) and then Mike, Lucas, and Dustin. This is when she starts to show her trademark character quirk of repeating others. This is also when she starts to really build conversational skills, as before she was mostly expected to take in language rather than express it.

Much of our social learning, especially early on, is a result of observation and imitation. We see something, whether in person or through fictional material, we imitate it, and then we are reinforced, ignored, or punished. From what we can observe from El, after she escapes the lab through to when she moves, her learning came from a combination of the week she spent with the Party (during Season 1), her time hiding with Hopper (end of Season 1 to midway through Season 2), her time with Kali, and then the events of Season 3. Now, we have to keep in mind that all of this learning occurs in the span of about two years. Of that time, over half of it is the result of watching TV and speaking to Hopper. She lacks a lot of the cultural context for a lot of the social and emotional information she takes in. 

Her social relationships are difficult to examine, mostly because there is a lot we just don’t get to see. She bonded with Mike very quickly, as he was kind to her and tried to keep her safe from the “bad men.” In reality, he didn’t treat her terribly different from Dr. Brenner in the sense that he was still using her. Mike tried to explain relationships and social norms to her, but, given her lack of preexisting knowledge and his own limited understanding, she didn’t quite get it all. She doesn’t seem to know the difference between familial, platonic, and romantic love. Instead, she sort of imprints on him like a baby animal may to its carer. Dustin and Lucas are less eager to have her around, but they warm up to her when it’s clear that she does genuinely want to help.

Her time away from them, and her apparently great consumption of TV soap operas, has resulted in her sort of trying to live out a fantasy. She becomes obsessed with Mike, watching him and stalking him since she is disallowed from actually leaving the cabin. She becomes extremely possessive (like a soap opera character), developing a dislike of Max simply due to her trying to be Mike’s friend. This is quite unhealthy, and the hostility is again shown when Max attempts to befriend her. It is apparent that her time away resulted in a her creating an “ideal” version of her and Mike based on TV representations of relationships. She still is shown to have missed Dustin and Lucas, but none of the intensity is present in those relationships. 

Her relationship with Mike is very superficial. As far as viewers can tell, they spend most of their time making out. El is still shown to have possessive qualities, as it is stated that she and Mike are often at Hopper’s cabin together. We see them bailing early after Dustin comes home from camp, despite them making the trip to the hill to construct Cerebro. El does not seem to appreciate any of Mike’s personal interests or personality traits. In a callback to season 1, where El had no interest as Mike showed off his toys, El tells Mike to stop singing and does not laugh at his attempts at a joke (granted, she was angry with him at the time). The implication is that the realities of her relationship with Mike did not meet her expectations. This is actually a fairly normal part of social development, and it leads her to another stage: exploration.

Up until this point, El had not attempted to explore the possibilities of who she was. She had merely taken on the identities that others had crafted for her, starting with Brenner, then Mike, then Hopper, then Max. Max is the first one to actually encourage her to explore and experiment. What Max doesn’t seem to realize, however, is that El is also now emulating her. She’s making some strides to be her own person, but she’s still heavily influenced by Max, included repeating what Max says. Nevertheless, she is genuinely confused by the entire concept of her liking something for herself, and has no idea even how to determine what she likes. This isn’t surprising, as Hopper is shown being in way over his head, and the Party are simply young teens who don’t know better.

Unfortunately for El, a traumatic loss has set her back by the end of Season 3. She lost her first real father figure, and we see her sort of revert back to dressing as she did before Max’s influence. She also falls back into her infatuation with Mike, despite seeming to have moved on. The confusion on Mike’s face suggests that this is a surprise to him, so there is a lot unknown as to how she arrived back at that decision. It is also unknown why she kept it to herself before she moved. It is plausible to hypothesize that she is going back to her first real secure base. She needs to feel safe and secure after so much traumatic change (losing Hopper, her powers vanishing, and having to move away). She could be clinging to Mike as a way to keep some semblance of control. At the very least, Mike doesn’t seem to reciprocate, which could lead to some problems for her down the road.

In the end, El is a complicated character. Millie Bobby Brown has done a commendable job portraying a traumatized character with a limited understanding of emotion and social norms. It is upsetting to see some fans acting as if her relationship with Mike is healthy for her, at least as it has so far been portrayed. There is some hope for El, developmentally speaking, as Joyce has been shown to be a very loving mother. Time away from Mike could be beneficial, but, as we saw early in Season 2, she reacts very possessively if anyone moves in on her “territory,” for lack of a better word. This relationship indeed seems very limiting for her. With any luck, she will be able to explore the world and herself to a greater extent in Season 4. It is my hope, as someone who works with children, that she is able to learn more about herself as more than just someone else’s friend, daughter, girlfriend, sister, or weapon.