#hoo boy gonna tag all the fics i mentioned:

[unintentionaloracle]

The Honorary In-Law (Part One) [Fic]

Hoo boy this took a while (so long I said "screw it" to trying to make it plausible to the current timeline of events in actual kayfabe) but now my baby is done! And boy do I need it between The Jhea Drought and whatever is happening with Zowens. (Trips why are you hurting me specifically?)

Summary: Rhea and Jey have been keeping it casual for a while. But when Jey tries to arrange a meeting with her and Sami, can Rhea handle the pressure to not screw up her new romance? And will Kevin throw a wrench in them taking their next step?

(Also I do have Liv and Dom in here and mentions of Rhea having had relationships with both of them, but I'm not tagging those so far because it's only for like, a scene and it seems rude to tag past relationships that are only mentioned in passing. IDK I can tag those if you need me to I'm so tired, y'all.)

Part One: Double Your Trouble, Double Your Fun

 Rhea chuckled mischievously, planting one last kiss on Jey's lips. She glanced down at her handiwork: his mouth coated with her black lipstick. Her own probably looked like a mess, but it was worth it. She shifted her position on the couch from pinning and straddling the Intercontinental Champion to one that allowed her to curl up on him–head on his chest–almost like a contented cat.

 She could practically feel Jey grinning ear to ear as he held her. “I know I say this every time we make out, but...damn, Rhea...”

 Rhea grinned, rubbing his chest. “Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet...” She purred.

 “...Baby, this stuff is gonna wash off easily, right?” He asked, trying to check for himself.

 Rhea laughed. “No, you'll be walking around with that for a while. I got the good stuff,” she joked. “I gotta mark my territory, after all...”

 “I mean...I could've just written “Mami” on my sunglasses...”

 “Yeah,” she looked up at him with a smirk, “but then I wouldn't have had to kiss you.”

 “...Okay, nevermind...”

 A content warmth spread through Rhea. “Although, to be fair, I've got a million excuses to kiss you...” She said, wiggling her eyebrows.

 Jey laughed. He shifted them both around so Rhea was on the couch and he was on top. “Oh really? Do you need one?”

 Rhea smirked. She cupped his face as she pressed a spellbound Jey’s forehead to hers. “Nope. Especially not if you ask me nicely...”

 “Well then...Miss Rhea Ripley, may I please kiss you?” Jey said in a low, flirty tone as leaned in for another kiss.

It was then that Priest walked into his and Rhea's hotel room. “...Really? On the only couch?” He said as they turned to see him. Then he glanced at a flustered Jey. “That’s not your shade, man.”

 “Oh, come on, Damian. We aren't even screwing yet.” Rhea replied, making Jey choke on air. “And True Abyss is absolutely his shade!”

 Damian scoffed, trying to hide a smirk as he shook his head. “Just give me some heads up next time you have your new boytoy over, okay?” He said, heading to the bathroom.

 “Oh, fine.” She turned her attention back to Jey. “I swear, sometimes he's like a brother in an annoying way. Where were we?”

 “Actually,” Jey said, putting a finger to her lips...before he appeared to remember Rhea was an absolute menace of a flirt. He removed it before she could even open her mouth to do anything with that finger. “That reminds me: there's something I wanna ask you...”

 Concern rose through her body. “What?”

 “It’s nothing bad, I was just thinking...I kinda wanna introduce you to Sami...”

 Rhea somewhat relaxed, concern replaced with confusion. “...I've met Sami, Jey...”

 “I meant re-introduce him. You know, somewhere where you're not beating him and Kevin up to help The Judgement Day? A do-over.”

 “Why?”

 “Because you're important to me. And Sami's important to me, too.”

 Rhea felt touched, but also compelled to ask: “wouldn't it make more sense to introduce me to your family first? Or re-introduce me, I guess?”

 “I mean, Sami’s practically family,” Jey said plainly. “And right now, introducing you to my family is out of the question...”

 “Not even Jimmy?”

 “Nah. We're still trying to fix things between us...”

 “Roman?”

 “I can't stand to be in the same room as him longer than I have to.”

 “Your dad?”

 “No, no. Definitely not him. Trust me.”

 Rhea sighed. “And obviously Solo and his Bloodline are also out, even if I could take them...”

 “You could, but...” Jey cupped her face, rubbing his thumb against her cheek and smudging her initials she'd written on them. “Rhea, I don't want to make you have to deal with them, too. The Bloodline takes almost every good thing I have from me,” he pressed his forehead to hers. “I don't know what I'd do if they somehow took you, too. Plus, with all the crap you've been dealing with? I’d hate to get you tangled in my family ish because of me, baby. Know what I mean?”

 Rhea blinked. She didn't think she'd be touched by such a sentiment, but here she was, thinking of all the times she had to fight the men of The Judgement Day’s battles (especially Dom’s). And now Jey was here, not asking such a thing. He never would. It'd almost make her cry, if she didn't want to spoil the mood. Especially at this phase of their relationship: the “we aren't putting labels on it yet” phase.

 So instead, she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer, cupping his face back. “Yeet,” she purred.

 Damian left the bathroom, but this time the lovers barely registered his presence as they lovingly stared at each other in the far more suggestive pose. “WEPA! Jey, I'm taking your hotel room key and I'm crashing in there!”

 “Uh, that might not be a good idea, Uce. Kevin's crashing with us right now, and he and Sami have been really–”

 Damian swore, mumbling something under his breath about “how can Sami still be with that guy?” before declaring “Guess I'm heading out.”

 Jey gave a thumbs up before Rhea dragged him back down for a quick kiss. “Is that a yes?” He asked.

 “Yes...” She said, tangling herself around him.

---

 The next night on Raw, Rhea prepped for her match backstage. Liv wanted to make sure Rhea couldn't get her next shot at her and the title so easily. So she had arranged for there to be a Battle Royal to determine her next Number One Contender. Idiot. I’ve won a Royal Rumble from the Number One spot. A Battle Royal is nothing. Rhea thought.

 Still, Rhea knew she didn't exactly have friends in the women's locker room. She'd done some terrible things to a lot of the girls over the past two years. Stuff she hadn’t exactly apologized for. So, naturally, it was awkward between her and everyone else in the locker room. So much so that, when she went to get her gear, she just got changed in the bathroom and hung out everywhere but the locker room, instead.

 (She knew it was bad when Damage Ctrl shot her dirty looks.)

 As she made her way to gorilla position backstage, she had a brief run-in with Raquel. Rhea opted to ignore her and the impulse to forget everything she was aiming for to get some sweet revenge. She had a match to win, she just couldn't get distracted by any annoying–

 “Daddy Dom, it's gonna suck having to be away from your handsome face two matches in a row,” Liv said, pouting before Dom rubbed his nose to hers.

 “Son of a bitch,” Rhea said to herself, rolling her eyes at the display.

 “Yeah, cuz right after you observe the battle royal, I have my Intercontinental Championship match against Jey, and he’s got you and the guys banned from ringside. It's not fair...” Dom whined.

 Rhea couldn't help but gag. “That you have to fight your own battles like a man for once?” She said, aloud.

 The couple finally noticed she was in the room. Liv rolled her eyes. “Don't listen to him, Daddy Dom. You're plenty man for me. She's just jealous she has to settle for Jey, now.”

 “Oh honey, I am not settling with Jey. I'm more than satisfied...” Rhea replied, shooting Dom a look that made him avert his eyes.

 “Yeah, well... you're still probably gonna screw up with him! Just like you did with me!” Dom fired back, throwing his arm around Liv.

 “And me.” Liv added, cattily.

 Rhea felt a slight pang, but she couldn't let either of them notice. Or dwell on it. She put on her best smug smirk. “Uh huh...so tell me: do you enjoy making out because you're so into each other? Or is it because you both can still taste me?”

 Liv nearly lunged at her as Dom yelled, holding his girlfriend back. Rhea braced herself, motioning for them to bring it. She cackled as Liv flailed in Dom's arms and Dom struggled with her. That's when Rhea felt a hand ease around her waist.

 “Is there a problem, here?” Jey said, lowering his sunglasses. Rhea glanced at him, he was wearing black and purple on his gear, along with his signature blue and pink, and a pair of “Mami” sunglasses. She grinned a little at him before going back to glaring at her exes.

 “No...” Dom said (earning a groan from Triple H as he motioned for the cameraman to leave). “Just control Rhea...” He said, finally (and ungracefully) putting Liv down.

 “Yeah, control her!” Liv said, straightening her hair and outfit as she glared at Jey.

 “Y'all know nobody can control her,” Jey said fondly, squeezing her closer as Rhea threw an arm around him. He looked at Dom. “We'll finish this later,” Liv's music hit. “I think that's your cue to go...”

 Liv rolled her eyes. “C’mon, Daddy Dom! Walk me to the announce desk?” She said with a pout before they headed for the curtain. “And by the way, Rhea? The gear’s a bit much...” She added before leaving in a huff with her boyfriend.

 “YOU’RE ONE TO TALK IN THAT MINISKIRT WITH “PROPERTY OF DOM” ON THE ASS!” Rhea yelled back.

 Jey gave them a stern yeet goodbye before he finally seemed to notice Rhea’s outfit: white, blue and pink gear with a “YEET” collar. She even had sunglasses that had “R+J” written on them (her makeup had the same written on her cheek). He grinned. “Well, I like it.”

 “Yeah, they aren't really my colors, but I love them on you...” She said, grinning back. “Oh, did you talk to Sami about tomorrow morning? Doing breakfast or brunch or whatever together?”

 “Yeah. I actually came to talk to you about that...”

---

 Jey gave a gentle knock to door of his and Sami’s hotel room. Sami sent him a quick text telling him to wait a moment, followed quickly by the all clear to come in.

 Jey entered the room to find Sami, half-dressed and still sitting in bed. “Mornin’, uce!” Jey said brightly.

 Sami tried to motion for him to be quiet.

 Kevin, who was lying beside him with his arms wrapped around Sami's waist, stirred. The Prizefighter had been crashing with Sami and Jey since his fights with his friends and subsequent suspension. (“I'm all he has left, Jey,” Sami had pleaded. “He needs somebody in his corner right now.”) He seemed to be chill with Jey, therefore Jey was chill with him. Besides, he knew there was no talking Sami out of helping someone, especially Kevin. 

 Kevin said something sleepily in French, eyes still shut.

 Sami rubbed Kevin's back and said something sweetly in French. Jey guessed it was something like “It's just Jey, my love.”

 Kevin nodded, squeezing Sami tighter. He said something else in French.

 Sami replied in French.

 Kevin repeated what he said in French as a question.

 Sami huffed and repeated himself, apparently correcting what he'd said before. Kevin chuckled and settled back down.

  “Merci, beau,” Kevin said, smiling contently as he cocooned himself in blankets. He actually looked relaxed...and happy. More than Jey had seen him in weeks...or ever. It honestly kinda scared him a bit. Jey knew how to handle an angry, rampaging Kevin. But a blissful one? A blissful one felt like a trap.

 But Sami's the happiest I've seen him in weeks, all things considered, Jey thought. So I can live with that...

 “Someone looks like he had a good night with his girlfriend,” Sami teased, his voice a whisper.

 Jey covered the hickey on his neck and tried to wipe the lipstick smudges from his mouth again, flustered. “Ah, c'mon, man. We haven't made it official yet.” He said. “We're taking our time...”

 Still... Jey thought. He was more than willing to give Rhea the time she needed, but sometimes he kinda worried that maybe she wasn't as serious about him as he was about her.

 “I know...” Sami replied. “But seriously, you seem happy.”

 “I am! I did have a good time...” Jey said, rubbing the back of his neck. “And I asked her about meeting up with you...”

 “And?”

 “She's down for it! She thought maybe we could get breakfast on Tuesday. Or brunch. She just kinda thought it might not be as awkward as a dinner after work or something,” Jey said.

 “Oh! Okay, yeah. I think I could work with that...” Sami said.

 Kevin stirred again. “You're going to breakfast with Jey?” He said, now more awake.

 “And Rhea,” Sami said. He explained the plan to “re-introduce” the two to Kevin. Kevin stared at him groggily the whole time, his eyebrow raised.

 “Can I tag along?” Kevin asked.

 Sami blinked. “You want to “re-meet” Rhea?”

 Kevin nodded. “We're a package deal, aren't we? Plus, what if this is all a ploy and she turns on you guys? You need some protection. What're they gonna do? Suspend me more?”

 It's called firing, Uce. Jey thought. He had other concerns, too. Kevin was so unpredictable, lately. Did he really want to bring that around his girl? Especially when he didn't want her around his mess of a family?

 “I mean, if she's cool with it, I'm cool with it,” Sami said. “It'll almost be like a double date...”

 “See!? A package deal!”

 Jey chuckled awkwardly. “I can run it by her...”

---

 “So...” Jey said, one hand on his hip. He scratched at his goatee with the other. “How are you feeling about that?”

 Rhea folded her arms, thinking. The idea of Kevin hanging around didn't exactly thrill her. Not for his behavior, of course. (She knew she could lay him out if he acted up.) But she was already somewhat anxious about trying to win over Sami, given their history. Throwing his unstable boyfriend in? Who held a hell of a grudge? You might as well ask her to do an MMA fight with a kangaroo, that'd be easier.

 Still, Dom and Liv’s taunts about their failed relationships with her started to echo in her head. I'm not gonna screw this one up! She thought.

 Her music hit. She jumped a little, startling Jey. “Oh, damn it...” She said. “Sure, he can come! I gotta go!” She quickly kissed him. “Bye!” She said, making her way to the curtain.

 “Uh, bye...Good luck, baby! You got this!” Jey called after her.

 Rhea smiled, confidence returning. She shoved the personal drama aside in her head and went into Match Mode. As she did her signature stomp in her entrance, she thought: I do got this. I'm gonna get my title shot, then I'm gonna crush the whole “winning over Sami and Kevin” thing!

---

 Rhea threw some stuff around backstage after the match, screaming. Priest ran up to her, “Hey, take it easy, Rhea! What's up?”

 She stopped her rampage, breathing heavily. “Did you not see that match!?” Rhea asked. 

 “No, I was talking to Pearce about getting my title back. I take it it went b–?”

 “Raquel and Liv cost me my shot by cheating after I eliminated Raquel because they're bloody cowards!” She shouted. “Now MAXXINE has my title shot!” Rhea let out another yell before burying her face in Damian's torso and hugging him.

 Damian patted her back. “Ouch. I'm sorry, Rhea. But hey, good for Maxxine, at least...”

 “Whose side are you on?” She asked, as if she hadn't enjoyed a hyped-on-victory Maxxine performing an arm drag on Liv when they faced off after and the latter held up her title in the ring, trying to act like she was the baddest to ever do it.

 “Yours. Always. Need me to put the fear of God in them? Maybe put Dom on the shelf?” Damian asked.

 “No, I don't want you suspended...” Rhea said. “Besides, I need to take out Raquel first...” She was gonna get nowhere with Liv's little bodyguard around. She clung to Damian a little tighter.

 Damian chuckled. “Alright...” Damian hugged her back. “Hey, is that all that's wrong?”

 “I'm just stressing about this breakfast thing I'm doing with Jey and Sami. Kevin apparently invited himself along so now I have to deal with that too.”

 “Oof. Need me to come along?” He asked.

 “I'd love you to, but I gotta do this on my own, Priest...” Rhea replied. “I don't want to make this messier...” Or more awkward.

 “Okay, but if you need me, or an excuse to leave, just hit me up and I'll get you out of there, all right?” He said, giving her a kiss on the top of her head and a pat on her back before letting her go.

 “Thanks, Priest. I appreciate it.” Rhea waved goodbye as Damian walked off. She took a deep breath, ready to just take a moment to collect her thoughts...

 Cathy came by, mic and film crew at hand. “Rhea, tough loss tonight. How do you feel—?”

 Rhea let out a scream of frustration and stormed off, in search of a breakable outlet for her rage.

To Be Continued...

[rosesradio]

may i ask why ppl hate caleo so much? I'm reading ToA rn so idk if it's based on stuff that happens there, but in HoO I didn't really catch anything that would make it this "don't touch with a ten foot pole" ship, yk?

/gen

Hi !! Thanks for sending this in. I feel like I and others have kinda gone through some things in the anti-caleo tag, but I'm gonna go through some of the reasons with as much textual evidence and objectivity as possible. (minus my inevitable unorganized rambles, they're contextually relevant, stop looking at me--)

That being said, this is completely a matter of opinion, as all shipping is. I don't mean to say that you are "allowed" to ship or that you're "stupid" for shipping xyz, I couldn't care less what you ship--let's all just be nice to each other.

That being said, let's start with the two most common reasons why most people dislike caleo:

1.) the age gap

2.) their "bickering to lovers" dynamic is not written well/they seem to dislike each other/etc

The easier one to start with would be the age gap. Now (warnings for rent-lowering gunshots around my blog), I meant what I said when I said I don't care about ships. Most of my beloved mutuals ship the nastiest shit imaginable, and I am very anti-censorship (but that's several other posts). I generally have preferences for healthy ships when it comes to a Fluffy Endgame (dark fics with toxic ships are different to me).

That being said, I don't typically enjoy ships with a large age gap, and most other people find them unappealing as well. I could be persuaded with some (nipollo and rachel/apollo, i'm looking at you), but caleo just kinda grosses me out in this regard, probably due to other aspects of their relationship.

(Some people say she's "mentally fifteen", but I don't really buy that--if she were like a faerie or something, maybe, but I see her more as Edward in Twilight--looks young but has wisdom beyond her years. There's no definitive answer on this so it's not something I would like to debate (none of this is lol) but I thought I would mention it anyways.)

Although your question is about ToA, I'm only going to cover HoH through the first ToA book, because I'm still reading through the ToA books (though I know the big spoilers). I know caleo takes on a bigger role in the second book so i might come back and do a part two to uh...complain about their dynamic more? lol

so, without further ado--

The House of Hades

So, this is the first impression we get of Calypso from Leo's perspective--the highlights to keep this from being 1 million years long (it still will be lol)--

"She looked maybe fifteen, about Leo's age, and, sure, she was pretty; but with that angry expression on herface she reminded Leo of every popular girl in every school he'd ever attended—the ones who made fun of him, gossiped a lot, thought they were so superior, and basically did everything they could tomake his life miserable.Leo disliked her instantly.

---

The girl clenched her fists. Leo was pretty sure she was going to march down the crater and punch him in the face.

---

"Show yourself!" the girl yelled at the sky, completely ignoring Leo. "It's not bad enough I am exiled? It's not bad enough you take away the few good heroes I'm allowed to meet? You think it's funny to send me this—this charbroiled runt of a boy to ruin my tranquility? This is NOT FUNNY! Take him back!""

--pg 213 of The House of Hades pdf.

Now, keeping in mind that I read this for the first time at 13 and he was my book boyfriend (Or Whatever), I was not a fan of this, but even now that I've grown out of that, this still rings unfavorable to me.

He compares her to his bullies, the ones who made fun of him and created insecurities within him. And, making no effort to clear her name from this association, what is one of the first things she does? Screams at the gods for sending someone so conventionally unattractive. One of Leo's biggest insecurities in the books is not being as conventionally attractive or built as the other guys in the seven. One of his other insecurities is not having a girlfriend when everyone else is coupled up. So the solution is not to have him learn self-love and/or the love of friends, but to instead give him a girlfriend--the build-up time of which is short and intense. Not only that, but his love interest insults one of his biggest insecurities.

We're off to a great start.

Of course, I can't really blame Calypso for being pissed about the wreckage and about being sent another hero instead of being freed from the island. I would be pretty pissed, too, but she still treats him pretty badly, seemingly because he's not the "right" hero.

(For this next bit I am going through their time together in House of Hades and just noting anything that rings as a red flag to me--which is not a stretch as it's pretty much every other line lol. The brackets [] add context for dialogue, the parentheses () is my commentary, though most of these speak for themselves imo)

""Oh-gee-gee-ah." The girl pronounced it slowly, as if Leo were five years old.

---

She looked like she was about to answer but stopped herself. "It doesn't matter. You'll be gone soon. You're obviously a mistake."

That was harsh, Leo thought.He'd spent enough time thinking he was a mistake—as a demigod, on this quest, in life in general. He didn't need a random crazy goddess reinforcing the idea

---

"What am I supposed to do, then? Sit in the sand dunes until I die?" [Leo asked]

"That would be fine...." The girl threw down her trowel and cursed at the sky. "Except I suppose he can't die here, can he? Zeus! This is not funny!"

---

She looked the same age as him, but he wondered how old she really was. (age gap thing, delicious!)

---

"Would you be sweet," [Calypso said], "if they laughed at you by sending another hero, but a hero who looked like—like you?"

---

"Three thousand." Leo's mouth felt tingly, like he'd just eaten Pop Rocks. "Uh, you look good for three thousand."

---

"And now...the worst insult of all. The gods mock me by sending you." [Calypso said]

Anger bubbled in Leo's stomach.Yeah, typical. If Jason were here, Calypso would fall all over him. She'd beg him to stay, but he'd be all noble about returning to his duties, and he'd leave Calypso brokenhearted. That magic raft would totally arrive for him. (heartbreaking to hear about leo's insecurities but also...he is so gay for jason jdskjfs--)

But Leo? He was the annoying guest she couldn't get rid of. She'd never fall for him, because she was totally out of his league.

---

Despite the gifts, Calypso obviously didn't want to see him. One time he poked his head inside the cave and she freaked out, yelling and throwing pots at his head. (how to treat an abuse survivor 101)

Yeah, she was definitely on Team Leo. (this honestly just reminds me of the Echo scene and, honestly, I'd ship him with Echo Big Time over calypso)

He ended up pitching a more permanent camp near the footpath, where the beach met the hills.That way he was close enough to pick up his meals, but Calypso didn't have to see him and go into a pot-throwing rage.

---

"They are completely fireproof," Calypso promised. "They'll stay clean and expand to fit you,should you ever become less scrawny." (the prev part about her repairing the clothes was actually sweet in a platonic way...could have gone without the body-shaming !)

---

Then he remembered that this annoying fifteen-year-old girl was actually the immortal daughter of a Titan."

--pages 214-227 of The House of Hades pdf

Now, at this point I'll say that their relationship actually becomes quite sweet once they get past the frankly horrible section of time where they want each other to die. They're both lonely, they come to some understanding...I suppose this is a matter of opinion, but the romance aspect does feel forced. Time is different in Ogygia so it's hard to say how long Leo was there, if I were to estimate I'd say 3 weeks, but given that it's like 19 pages (and the text is larger on the pdf copy lol), it does feel rushed. Man do I wish they went for the platonic angle, but Richard could never.

The Blood of Olympus

Everyone's favorite book! lmao.

Now that our lovebirds are in Lovebird Territory (i guess), the amount of toxicity dwindles, but let's bite:

"'Sit tight, Sunshine,' he told Calypso's picture. 'I'll get back to you, just like I promised.'

Leo could imagine her response: 'I am not waiting for you, Leo Valdez. I am not in love with you.And I certainly don't believe your foolish promises!' The thought made him smile. (I guess this is supposed to be sarcastic, but way to reintroduce the concept of her really not liking him?)"

--pg 64 of The Blood of Olympus pdf

So, most of this book has mentions of Calypso from Leo's pov, and I gotta say (forgetting entirely that this doc is supposed to at least try to be subjective)...they neutered my boy. I often don't reread past MoA because of the caleo content, though what glimpses I've seen shows that his pov has experienced a massive shift. I think having so little page time and such an intense relationship buildup causes some readers to dislike how fundamentally she alters Leo's pov.

Additionally, I've seen some posts about Leo's suicide ideation. That is not something I want to go in depth about on this post, but I did want to draw attention to this excerpt I caught:

"Now the Argo II was approaching the end of its voyage. Leo's whole life – his childhood with Tía Callida; his mother's death in that warehouse fire; his years as a foster kid; his months at Camp Half-Blood with Jason and Piper – all of it would culminate tomorrow morning in one final battle.

He opened the access panel. Festus's voice creaked over the intercom.

'Yeah, buddy,' Leo agreed. 'It's time.'

More creaking.

'I know,' Leo said. 'Together till the end?'

Festus squeaked affirmatively.

Leo checked the ancient bronze astrolabe, which was now fitted with the crystal from Ogygia. Leo could only hope it would work.

'I will get back to you, Calypso,' he muttered. 'I promised on the River Styx.'

He flipped a switch and brought the navigation device online. He set the timer for twenty-four hours.

Finally he opened the engine's ventilator line and pushed inside the vial of the physician's cure. It disappeared into the veins of the ship with a decisive thunk.

'Too late to turn back now,' Leo said.

He curled on the floor and closed his eyes, determined to enjoy the familiar hum of the engine for one last night."

--pg 224 of The Blood of Olympus pdf

I'm not going to draw any definitive conclusions on the subtext of this or his plan with the physician's cure, but I will say Leo definitely needs therapy and the support of his friends over his want of a girlfriend. (And I'd say this regardless of ships--even if it were my beloved valdangelo. If Leo's mental health isn't addressed, it just makes it seem like a lazy fix-all)

I'm not going to pretend to be the best writer or understand character arcs better than our good friend Richard, but I think one of the reasons why Leo's character arc failed in this final installment is that Leo got what he wanted instead of what he needed. The best character arcs will display what a character wants, but by the end of the journey, a character will realize what they really need.

For example, in Gravity Falls (great show btw), towards the end of the series, Mabel wants to stay in a magical bubble created as a trick by Bill Cipher so she can stay in Gravity Falls forever. In the end, however, she realizes that what she really needs is to go back home to California with her brother, where they can get through high school with the support of each other.

If Leo had undergone an arc in which he really wants a girlfriend, but later realizes he needs to love himself first, that would have been really great and nice for kids to see that they don't need a significant other to make them whole.

Additionally--surprisingly--there were no glaring red flags for the rest of this book. They have a general vibe of "she doesn't really like him and he's a silly little guy" that I feel like is just rick pulling a "can I copy your homework?" with percabeth but it came out Wrong, but that's a matter of opinion.

ToA: The Hidden Oracle

""Here you go." Leo handed her a glass of lemonade. His expression seemed darker and more anxious, as if...Ah, of course. Leo had rescued Calypso from her prison island. In doing so, Calypso had lost her powers. Leo felt responsible."

--pg 239 of The Hidden Oracle pdf

This seems like something they'd have to work through, which is possible, but also a very intense thing to put on a relationship between an already traumatized 16 year old (and his over 3000 year old girlfriend, etc.) I suppose if this was written through in a thoughtful way I'd understand, but it's kind of one of those things that makes me look at them and go...realistically, at best I see them lasting 6 months to a year.

(tbh a lot of the ships outside of percabeth don't seem to have that...well, percabeth longevity--i mean just look at how jiper broke up. not that Richard would break caleo up atp, of course...unless...)

Final Thoughts (unless I return after finishing ToA but no promises)

And so, we conclude. I think I learned some stuff by revisiting canon instead of just remaining amongst online fandom & my memory of canon. Honestly, I can see why people would like this ship--I still hate it the most out of any pjo ship, but I gotta admit it had its sweet moments. Just as I pointed out red flags and had opinions stated as subjective, other people could point out what they consider green flags and why they think the ship is great.

To conclude (my English teachers quaking in their boots rn), myself and other caleo haters dislike the ship due to the age difference, the rushed nature, and the enemies to lovers dynamic being written in a way that ultimately gives the energy that our love birds do not like each other. I hope this dive into the foundation of their relationship clarifies some of these things for you, and thanks for the ask!

[naranjapetrificada]

20, 56, and 71? (I'm very curious about that last with your current project)

Thank you! I can always rely on you to indulge me when I want to play an ask game 🥰

It got a little long so I'm gonna put in a break to not ruin people's feeds.

Before the break though, if you want to play "get to know your fic writer" just pick your question(s) from this list!

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

There are a lot of possible answers to this one, but a few off the top of my head:

I can never resist a little alliteration.

It's something I always have to rein in a bit, but if I want to emphasize something I will regularly repeat myself. Not word for word, but restating it. I think this might be related to the way I speak IRL and the ADHD need to over-clarify. But it's a thing I've seen other writers do also!

I love an image, and literally require them to write the way the human brain requires oxygen. Every shorter piece I've posted was directly inspired by/is heavily dominated by a single image, to the point that I sometimes feel like it's the poetry part of my brain that writes anything under 2000 words.

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

The nouns. People, places, and things, as in introducing a character, evoking a place and describing a thing. Until fairly recently, those were my writing raisons d'être tbh. An image would lead me to one or more of them, and I'd get lost in them, but my motivation would always peter out around the time I needed stuff to like, happen. Plot was always, always an afterthought (which is a big reason for the poetry part of my brain I mentioned in the previous answer).

71. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

Hoo boy. What a question. I've never committed to a longfic the way I have with FtF so I'm still figuring it out. When I was still figuring out which tropey longfic I wanted to work on in this fandom I actually started with a different one (a "Stede gets captured by Blackbeard before he has the chance to get gut-stabbed by the Spanish" thing), which is why you'll confusingly see FtF posts tagged with #baby's second longfic. But one thing working on that first one helped me with was figuring out I need to stay on top of it all.

The short version is "a doc for everything and everything in a doc."

I have like, a "beat sheet" for the big story beats and a big messy "brain dump" sort of document, so that I can note new things down without getting distracted by where they're supposed to go. The latter is also where the earliest writing takes place, and how I learn what shape something could take.

When things start to coalesce a bit, there's a new file for every chapter that I can see on the horizon (like for FtF I've gone as far as Chapter 6). Doing it any other way would be literally unworkable for me. Besides just like, limiting the scale of whatever I'm looking at at a given moment, it's also handy to be able to cut and paste things around when I need to change where something falls in the timeline. And because this fic is The Way That It Is, I also have separate documents for things like flashbacks and the academic blurbs, although I will copy the latter to their requisite chapter doc when I figure out where I want them.

While writing this reply, it's occurred to me that it might be a good idea to have a document just for things that have been set in stone, like dates and ages and locations etc. Just to keep my facts straight. That's kind of a big reason I've been posting chapters as soon as they're written instead of waiting till I had a backlog - I needed to get some things set in stone so I wouldn't be tempted/able to keep changing everything. The more concrete details I nail down the faster (read: not fast) this thing gets written.

This has been so much fun and super educational to think about all this stuff so thank you so, so much for asking ❤️❤️❤️

[kitausuret]

FOR whenever you reblog the “choose violence” ask game at the end of the month: Answer the questions in sequence order of MK’s grocery shopping trips in March

This was asked of me like literally a month ago but I kept scheduling the post for later and later. But here we go.

1. The character everyone gets wrong

(Spectacular Spider-Man #151, Conway & Buscema)

Well, this isn't hard - obviously my answer is going to be Flash Thompson. I don't know why it's apparently so difficult - he's not really that complicated of a character. Not compared to a lot of Marvel mainstays. But so many people either make him JUST a bully or JUST a hoo-rah America military man. And by that I mean both fans and canon writers. But Flash contains so many multitudes! He's worked in schools, he's a mentor, he's a coach, he's charisma incarnate, he has so many ways he can help people. And I love him.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Uhhh I'm not gonna do this with an image because I don't save these kinds of things lol. But I did once see a long post (and I mean lengthy) describing in detail - mind you, withOUT actually giving any canon evidence or issues or really anything to back up their argument - why Eddie Brock nor the Venom Symbiote should ever be shipped with anyone else, ADDITIONALLY stating that if you were to, say, add another person to that relationship, that you fundamentally are misunderstanding the whole point of """"symbrock"""" and, largely, Venom as a concept. Uh-huh. Okay.

Hilariously, after I saw that post, it stuck with me but it also spurned me into such a RAGE that I cranked out a massive new chapter of my fic in the space of about two weeks after being stuck for months. It worked, but boy I was so mad about that. I took that kinda personally. Insinuating that I didn't understand Venom. That I didn't understand Eddie Brock. Bull fucking shit.

Anyways,

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

I don't remember specifically the last person I blocked that wasn't a bot, but I do know that I will block people in the Flash Thompson and Harry Osborn tags at the drop of a hat. ...oh wait! I do remember the last person I blocked. They had some octogoblin thing they were going on about but they had put it in the Harry tag. I didn't wanna see that. So. Blocked!

10. worst part of fanon

Wow, loaded question. Probably the racism. And the misogyny. Both of which are still rampant! It's something I, myself, am still trying to work on, so it's not like I'm excluded from my own frustration. But I think what's even worse is people who pretend like it's NOT a problem, that fandom is a magical problem-free space.

I'm also just now realizing that the question says fanon and not fandom but I think my statement still stands. To try and actually answer it though, uhhh I think the worst thing about fanon is when it literally becomes canon. Stop doing that, Big Two.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

I wanna talk about something here but I don't wanna scandalize too many of my followers. Actually you know what fuck it I'm gonna talk about it anyways. (mpreg mention below the cut)

I don't understand why so many people in the Venom fandom make fics where the host (Eddie, because nobody writes about anyone else) is the one going through the gestational cycle when there is a new spawn rather than the symbiote. It is literally so much funnier and also makes so much more sense to make the symbiote the pregnant one. "but kita it's can-" SHUT UP THE SYMBIOTE WAS THE PREGNANT ONE (it's called "choose violence" asks for a reason 💖)

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Uhhhh see above! Racism. Misogyny. Possibly lesbophobia. Mostly for the denial of it all. But I also find a lot of ship discourse nonsensical. If you don't like it, just block! Mute! Filter! It's literally that easy.

30 doesn't exist so I will. Idk. I will give you a panel from an issue labeled 30. Let's go with Venom #30 (Bunn, Silas) and this very funny moment of the symbiote flirting with Valkyrie. 😂

[arofili]

fic writer tag game!!

i was tagged by @meztliel, thanks so much!!

AO3 name: starlightwalking

Fandoms: mostly Tolkien, my current main WIPs are Hobbit and LOTR fics, but i’m definitely mostly writing for the Silm these days, just lots of oneshots. i also dabble in Les Mis (at least once a year for Barricade Day!) and TAZ :)

Number of fics: 179??? how??? and i’m only gonna have more!! i’m not even done with B2MeM20 yet!!

Fic I spent the most time on: oh geez. that’s a tough one. this fic that i just posted, a Measse/Thuringwethil oneshot, i started in 2015?? but i left it sitting for 5 years, so i don’t think that counts. and i guess this drabble comp would be the next candidate, i started it in May 2016 and i last updated it in December 2019, but it’s...a drabble compilation, not an actual fic. so i think i actually spent the most time on my current WIPs, “Moonlight” and “Roads Go On,” both originally posted in May 2018 (jesus i was still in HIGH SCHOOL) and updated.....last year...... really i just haven’t had time to work on them, rip, though i think about them constantly. that’s what happens when you’re not in high school anymore i suppose....

Fic I spent the least time on: i mean, something from that drabble comp, probably. Or a B2MeM ficlet. probably this Glorfindel fic? I only remember writing it because I know it was written in a hurry at like 2am and my friend Moth @thishazeleyeddemon loved it and I was like “wow weird considering how little effort I put into it!”

Longest fic: Currently my post-BotFA Tauriel fic “Beneath the Stars” coming in at 49k! RGO and Moonlight both promise to be longer, but that would require me actually finishing either of them... but I love BtS so much that I’m glad it’s up there, it was a real labor of love <3

Shortest fic: “The Lay of Nienor” which I just wrote this past month! it’s only 238 words long - but it’s in verse, so that’s pretty respectable!

Most hits: My first BotFA fix it fic, “A Merrier Place,” with 5544 hits - to no one’s surprise by my chagrin. That was one of my first forays into Hobbit fic and I wrote it shortly after the movie came out, when people were most in need of a fix it AU. So I don’t blame them, really - but as I’m sort of setting out to rewrite my thoughts on what actually would’ve happened in an Everyone Lives AU in my current fic “Moonlight,” I wish people would pay more attention to that...

Most kudos: My TRSB19 Gigolas fic, “Love and Fear,” coming in with 155 kudos! this fic features art from @ginogollum and honestly, it deserves that love! (though, I think it does say a lot about what fandom wants that my only romo!gigolas fic has the most kudos of anything i’ve written, and all my qp!gigolas fics are much lower down the list... though perhaps I’m being unfair, considering my qp!Domadry fic “Wedding Blues” has the second-most kudos at 147.)

Most comment threads: My other TRSB19 fic, the Feanorian Redemption/Rebirth story “ATATYA” - that’s 71 comment threads and 147 total comments including replies!!! :) that makes me very very happy, because I wrote the 45,000 words of that fic in like...two weeks, about? it was INTENSE. and i’m very proud of that story, it’s got a lot of headcanons that I stand by, and I reference it frequently!

Most bookmarks: I added this category bc it felt weird it wasn’t here. Again, this prize goes to “Love and Fear” with 43 bookmarks!! woah :o second place is “A Merrier Place” with 35, and then the first fic I haven’t already mentioned is “The Naming Dame,” a HTTYD book fic with 30 bookmarks! I really should go back and update that fic, considering I wrote it before the last book came out and there’s new relevant information...

Total word count: I also added this one because I wanna brag!! I currently have 739,961 words archived on AO3 - holy shit!! adding the ~253k words I didn’t transfer over from FFN, that’s nearly a million words of fic! by the time i finish B2MeM I might push past that threshhold!!!!! that’s so exciting!!!! (fun fact about me: before Tolkien, my main fandom was...warrior cats...roughly 215k of that fic I left to gather dust on FFN is WC fic........)

Favourite fic I wrote: This isn’t fair, I can’t choose just one!! Ugh...well, if I must, I think it has to be “ATATYA”? This is subject to change, and “Beneath the Stars” is a close second, but “ATATYA” is my first real Silm longfic and I’m very proud of what I accomplished there, especially in such a short amount of time. Bonus: my favorite oneshot / favorite non-Tolkien fic is “and Love,” the aro Magnus fic I wrote for ASAW last year!

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: I mean, I already talked about how “Moonlight” is kind of a rewrite of “A Merrier Place,” so...hm. Well, earlier today in an ask game I mentioned my fic “fell and fey” which is the Eol-living-in-a-fairy-tale fic I wrote just this past month. I started writing a longer, more poetic version of that fic that I’d like to return to and expand on someday, but I wanted to get that idea out of my head and B2MeM was a great excuse to do it, so I went with the shorter version instead - for now!

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on:

I’ve got a couple WIPs right now... here’s a snippet of ch8 of “Roads Go On” (which i PROMISE i will have up soon...i know i’ve been saying that for more than year but i MEAN IT this time...)

“What do you mean we can’t take the freeway?” Boromir snapped.

“My way or the highway, he means,” Gimli quipped. “And, uh...not the highway, I guess.”

Mithrandir shot Gimli a withering glare. Though he only smiled, some part of him shriveled up inside. A wizard’s evil eye was nothing to mess with.

I think I’ve already shared that snippet in a different tag game, so here’s one more for the road - this one’s from “Cause and Consequence,” my Halenthir baby OC fic. This snippet comes from a chapter that won’t be out for awhile (and might undergo some serious revamping before then), and it’s set right after the Nirnaeth, with my OC (Ryndil) about to confront their dad.

“This is no place for mortals,” Maglor said flatly. “You do know who we are, don’t you, Rýndil of Brethil?”

A shiver ran down their spine. Seven tall elf-lords, gaunt and scarred and bloody in the aftermath of a disastrous battle. Maedhros, the eldest, was a shell of the glorious figure he’d been on the battlefield; they weren’t sure if he was even awake, his eyes were so glassy and unfocused. Grief, they supposed. They’d heard the rumors about him and the High King, after all.

Maglor, leading in his place, trembling despite the firmness in his golden voice. Celegorm, bitter and angry and mean despite his fair features. Curufin, his dark shadow, flint in his eyes and venom on his tongue. Amrod and Amras, mirroring each other in their distrustful glares. And yet despite the blood and dirt and pain, a light shone from each of them. These were men to be feared, men to be worshipped.

And then there was him. Caranthir the Dark. Rýndil’s father, the blood flowing through their veins, the reason they were here in the first place. Gaunt and red-faced, the weary host of his defeated brothers, he had scarcely stopped moving about and making room for them since they arrived.

As much as Rýndil was of the Haladin, as much as they were the child of Haleth, they were bound to this family and people also.

there’s a lot of grief-stricken angry feanorian banter that comes after this (including some Maedhros characterization that i’m Very Proud Of), and honestly? i might just go ahead and post the whole excerpt if anyone wants to read it (it’s about 1.3k words) since I’m fairly sure I will be changing a lot of it anyway, even if it’s only for tone.

~

looking at these stats, i’m both kind of sad and kind of proud. like, i’m proud of myself for what i’ve written, and proud of the relationships i’ve forged with readers and writers on AO3, but i know lots and lots of folks who have waaayyy higher stats than me. i know considering i write a lot of gen and aro fic that i’ll never be a Big Name Fan, but that doesn’t stop me from being jealous... sigh...

anyway, this was very very fun!!! i tag @buffintruder @himrings @mushroomwriter @zealouswerewolfcollector @hennethgalad @absynthe--minded @stormxpadme @morifiinwe @raisingcain-onceagain annnd any other writer who sees this and wants to do it!! no pressure of course, only do it if you want to :)

(and LMK in replies if you’re interested in seeing more of that Ryndil snippet!!)

[rockium-z]

I kinda remember being so excited to write this chapter about four-or-so months back that I wrote the first three pages of it in my third notebook, got smacked with feels about halfway through and cried, so that was an enjoyable experience (/pos).

Aaaand now to figure out the next two chapters and the crack idea that may have spawned from chapter 24 for NaNoWriMo…

@entityneo (welcome back! Gotta admit, I missed you. Hope y’all doing alright!)

[misslilli]

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | AO3

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9

Chapter 10 - XOXO, Gossip Girl

[ DS ]

“Man, I thought our staff meeting was never going to end, I was boored out of my mind while Principal Skinner droned oon and oooon about the importance of having the kid’s desks and chairs at the perfect heights!” Sarah pours herself another glass and passes the bottle to Holly, who agrees wholeheartedly.

“I know, how long can a freaking staff meeting take, everyone’s life flashed before my eyes, I thought I was gonna die in that meeting!” I grab the bottle from Holly and refill my glass.

“Yeah, when he started going over the fire hazards, that haven’t changed in the four year’s we’ve been teaching there, mind you, I was about ready to strangle him with my lanyard!”

“It wasn’t that bad guys, you’re being dramatic. I think he made some interesting points in his speech about classroom safety – seems like you’re going to need it with yours, S!” Alex, always the voice of reason, hands out seconds of our clam chowder.

“I know”, Sarah replies, “The first year’s always a clumsy bunch. On Wednesday one of mine, Felix, he managed to skin both his knees and his hands pretty badly. Poor kid, had to be picked up by his dad!”. Suddenly, the bowl of soup in front of me seems like the most interesting thing in the world and I push bits of clam around with my spoon quietly.

Sarah continues with her story: “He’s a cute kid though, very bright and I can tell he’s good with observing other people, judging their emotions, you know? And get this, I get such a kick out of this: His name’s Felix, yeah? and his dad’s name is Fox. Fox and Felix, how cute is that? I love it! And hoo boy, his dad is. A fox, I mean. He’s devastatingly handsome and so charming!”

Holly whistles through her teeth. “Oooh an interesting turn of events, so much better than complaining about the staff meeting!” At the mention of Felix’s dad, a blush creeps onto my cheeks and I continue to silently stare into my soup. Sarah’s right, of course, and my arm tingles again as I remember the encounter. The elephant on my chest is making an encore performance as well.

“You do realize that that’s a pretty inappropriate topic of conversation we’re having, right?”. Alex gives Sarah and Holly her patented raised-eyebrows, no-nonsense look, which makes Holly giggle.

“Great job at sucking out the fun of a conversation, Alexandra!” Meanwhile, I’m tracing figure-eight swirls into my chowder with my spoon, still not contributing to the conversation, praying to God they won’t notice.

“Of course, he’s off-limits to me as one of my student’s dad but I’m sure he’ll be a hit with the moms, single or not.” Holly goes along with her around a spoonful of soup.

“That’s for sure, I’d be surprised if they haven’t roped him into helping out with every. single. function they have planned this year!” Grinning, she turns her attention to me. “Hey Silent Bob, you’ve been awfully quiet over there, what gives?”

‘Oh shit.’

“You’ve met him D, when he came to pick up his son, haven’t you? Back me up over here!”

“Uh huh…yea…” I mumble into my soup, trying my hardest to hide my flaming cheeks.

Holly frowns at me, cocking her head to her side. Sarah shoots the others a confused look. I swallow thickly around a clam, my throat so tight I can feel it pass all the way down to my stomach.

Alex covers my clammy hand with hers. “Are you alright, D?” I can’t even recognize my own voice when I squeak out a high-pitched “Ya, sure…” and a nervous laugh escapes my lips. I feel pathetic.

Sarah’s eyes widen and she gasps, realization dawning: “YOU LIKE HIM!” I want to dig myself a hole right then and there and crawl into it to die. Damn my Irish complexion for betraying me in a moment of need.

I raise my eyes from my soup and look around at their faces. Sarah’s still in shock and stares at me, Holly is wearing an huge grin of unadulterated glee and Alex just looks at me over her glass with a thoughtful expression on her face, waiting for me to continue. “Yeah, maybe I do…” I sigh miserably and shrug my shoulders, swirling the wine around in my glass.

Holly claps her hands together excitedly, startling the rest of us. “Oh Lordy this is gooood stuff, a budding romance graces the sorrow halls of Plymouth Elementary!”. I frown at her exuberance and Sarah wakes from her stupor.

“I know right? Finally, someone to charm that little rainbow skirt right off of D and I think he’d be the perfect candidate to do just that! His little mini-me is already permanently attached to your side at recess, I saw!” The mention of Felix makes me slide down in my chair just a little bit more and I look down into my bowl, embarrassed.

Alex sets down her glass slowly. “Why the long face, D?”

“Well… you do know that this child must have a mother around, as well, don’t you?” I whisper into my spoonful of soup.

Alex nods solemnly but Sarah pipes up immediately: “I think I can help with that. I only ever saw his dad pick him up, except for today, when his mother did. So like the Curious George that I am, I went to admin and looked at his file – I know, I know, I’m too nosey for my own good – his dad is listed as a sole custodial parent.” She looks pleased with herself. A little glimmer of hope settles in the pit of my stomach at her words, he’s a single parent!

“Still, from what I hear from S, the little guy is already pretty attached to you and he’d be caught right in the line of fire when things go south. He’s already been through a divorce, girls.” At Alex’s words, the little glimmer dies an untimely death.

“A, nothing has started yet and you’re already talking about things going south, you’re ruining all the romance!”

As always, Sarah agrees with Holly. “You’re always so unromantic, Alexandra, let her live a little, she deserves whatever it is that’s about to start!”

They’re trying to get a raise out of Alex, but I’m willing to bet that she won’t budge on this. “It’s not about that and you know it. I wish D all the happiness in the world but there’s a kid here, a kid who’s already been through so much and more importantly, who is already somewhat attached. Think about him for a second before you start up anything.” Before the others can start their counter-argument, I interject.

“Guys! Stop! She’s right! Nothing is ever going to start. Besides Felix, you know how small our town is! People talk. And that talk might very well cost me my reputation andmy job!” It’s a pretty lame excuse, but I can’t tell them that I’m completely overwhelmed by my feelings and the whole situation. Overwhelmed and terrified.

Sarah refills our glasses with the rest of the wine. “Are you kidding me, D? You finally stumble across a guy you like and you’re going to pine for him from afar because you’re afraid the town folk are going to dust off the torches and pitchforks?”

I shift in my seat, uncomfortable. “Can we talk about something else? Please?”

“Que será, será, chicas.,” Holly sings under her breath.

Whatever will be, will be.

[felidaefighter]

Fears To Ease And Flesh To Mend

Ranboo and Tubbo find out that unzombifying a piglin is a bit different from unzombifying a villager, and they start off parenthood with quite a few complications and in a little over their heads. For the sake of their child, they may need to put awkwardness aside and ask for help.

[Sick fic, canon divergence, Phil and Techno meet Michael, lots and lots of piglin lore headcanons] ~20,000 words per chapter

Chapter Two of Four

     “Hey Phil,” Ranboo said carefully as they were coming back from trading with the local villagers, who gave good deals since they were grateful they’d been cured after being zombified, “What’s the difference between curing a zombie villager and curing a zombie piglin? Aside from the obvious.” Phil looked curiously at Ranboo while they walked. “That’s an interesting question. It is a little bit different, yeah. Technically the process itself is the same but ahhh there’s always some difficulties. Usually not worth the trouble.” Ranboo pondered this for a moment. “Huh. How do you mean?”

    “Well, because of where they’re from, piglins tend to have a bit of a resistance to magic. So the rotten flesh doesn’t really heal fully or automatically the way it does for villagers. The whole process is easier in the Nether, because the lack of moisture keeps the rot slow and less likely to spread after they’re healed.” Ranboo listened intently, opening his book and scribbling notes so he could keep track. “It’s just a rare thing to see happen, is all. Adult piglins especially, they’re such a warrior-based society that waking up hurting and confused just means they’re more likely to attack the person who healed them than be grateful. Not to mention they’re still going to have infections and rot. It’s just so uncommon because you’d never try and heal a piglin that you didn’t know beforehand. It requires so much aftercare and pre-established trust, like from before they were zombified, that without it it’s just bound to lead to the piglin dying anyways.”

    “Oooh interesting, interesting. But the dosage ratio of potions and apple and stuff is the same, right?” Phil nodded. “Yeah, between piglins and villagers and the little rascals, too.” He cackled a little. “General consensus tends to be it’s better to overdose on magic than underdose, because worst case scenario for inhaling too much of the weakness potion is you feel a bit queasy, and worst case scenario for eating too much golden apple is that you get a stomachache, but if you underdose the worst case scenario is they aren’t healed at all and can never be properly healed.” 

    They were just about at their houses now, and Phil shot Ranboo a look with raised eyebrows. “You don’t know any piglins aside from Techno though right? You aren’t worried about Techno are you mate? You don’t need to be-- he’s already gone through that process. He doesn’t need to do it again.” Ranboo stopped short. This was news to him, but also, it made for an excellent cover. For now at least-- admittedly he was still a little lacking on information for how to treat the infections properly. “Wait, really? Techno was zombified?” 

    “Ah, yep.” Ranboo nearly jumped out of his skin, spooked at Techno’s voice. The piglin must’ve come out of his own house to greet them as they arrived, and overheard the last bit of conversation. “An interestin’ way to enter a conversation, but yeah, I was.” Techno shrugged. “Just for a few seconds though. Happens with any piglin that wants to be able to traverse the overworld. Phil and I planned it ahead of time, so there weren’t really a lot of sores to deal with or anything. Definitely not where most of my scars come from,” Techno said with a bragging smirk. 

    Ranboo laughed a bit. “Of course, yeah. That’s so cool though, ‘cause I didn’t know any of that. It does make sense though, I think, yes.” Ranboo was desperately trying to sound normal and not allude to anything else at all. He really hoped it was working. “Ranboo, you good mate?” Phil asked. It was, apparently, not working. He tried to stay steady and even with his voice. “Yeah, no, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Techno kind of squinted at him, and Ranboo nervously curled in on himself just a bit, despite being slightly taller than the piglin.

    Techno looked like he was going to say something that surely would’ve made Ranboo explode with anxiety, but instead, he just shrugged. “Alright. We won’t pry. Will we, Phil?” Techno said, looking pointedly at the man, who very much looked like he did in fact want to pry, but conceded with a bit of a grumble and a small sigh. “Let us know if you’re curious about anything else though. Techno and I have gone around the bend with this one, we know the ins and outs.” Techno elbowed Phil (knowing this was his way of trying to subtly pry), who lightly smacked him back. Ranboo, in turn, nodded at them. “Mhm! I will, thank you.”

    Ranboo pretended not to notice as the two of them exchanged a knowing glance with one another, instead giving a wave and heading off to his own house for the night. He let out a long, shaky exhale once inside. “Okay, could’ve gone better, could’ve gone worse. Should’ve kept Michael in the nether while healing him, but we did it as soon as he was safe at Snowchester in a baby-proofed room so… Overall… not... as bad as it could have been? I think we did okay, I think we did okay,” Ranboo muttered to himself, trying to calm himself down. 

    Unfortunately, he didn’t learn anything about how to heal an infection, but he supposed that was typical. He didn’t ask about infections. He asked about unzombifying piglins. He did have more resources at his house than Tubbo had, though, so he went to his basement and started rummaging around in his chests to see if he could find anything of value. A little difficult with how disorganized he tended to be, but that was okay. It gave Tubbo time to respond to him after he sent him a quick message. 

    Secretly, Ranboo wanted to involve Techno and Phil; he knew that they and Tubbo had a bit of a rough history, but the two really seemed to know what they were talking about. And Tubbo had changed and Phil and Techno had changed, and Ranboo didn’t think they would try to hurt Michael. If there was a chance they could help Michael, he was considering risking it. He’d do anything for his son. But he wouldn’t say anything unless Tubbo was okay with it; after hesitating, he sent Tubbo another message. 

<Ranboo> techno and phil might know how to help with michael’s infection <Ranboo> but i don’t know how to ask without telling them about him <Ranboo> and i won’t tell them if you’re worried <Tubbo> i don’t trust techno <Tubbo> but he is a piglin also <Tubbo> and i trust you <Ranboo> i just worry that it’ll get worse if we don’t do it right <Tubbo> it’s your call big man

    Ranboo stared anxiously at the messages, thinking of his next step. He was so focused on it that he almost didn’t hear the knock on his door from upstairs. Startled, he shouted up. “Coming! I’ll be there in a second!” Giving one last glance at the conversation, he tucked his communicator away and rushed up the ladder. He opened the door and stepped outside a bit, his house being a bit too cramped to have a decent conversation. “Phil!” He exclaimed, utterly confused. “What’s up? Everything okay?” Phil was standing at the door next to a very disgruntled Technoblade, who looked like he had tried everything in his power to stop whatever conversation was about to happen and, upon failing due to Phil’s Old Man Stubbornness, decided to tag along. 

    “So, hypothetically,” Phil started, and Techno groaned. Phil sent one of his typical jokingly exasperated glances at Techno in response, and started again. “Hypothetically, if you were curing a zombie piglin, you’d probably want someone around who’s done it before to make sure everything went okay.” Ranboo stared at him for a moment, processing. “That’s true! Hypothetically, if I’d already cured a zombie piglin, I’d also want help with it to make sure nothing went wrong.” Phil now wore a knowing smirk, triumphant in the fact that his suspicions were confirmed. Techno sighed. “See, Phil, what you’ve done now is you’ve made a lot more work for us. Ranboo could’ve got it all done on his own and probably would’ve been fine, but now we gotta go help.” Phil turned to him as he spoke.

    “Techno, you don’t have to help mate, I’ve done this on my own before--” Techno interrupted him. “Nahhhh nah nah, you can do it on your own sure, but you see I am a certified actual piglin, so you’re gonna want my help regardless. It’ll be easier with me there. I’m comin’ with you.” Ranboo just stood there, baffled, trying to gather his thoughts. They were both asking way more than he initially thought and also way less. Was this a good thing? Regardless, they had offered to help and apparently nothing could convince them not to. “Th-- Thank you…?” Ranboo said, then corrected himself, “Thank you. I uh. Hoo boy. It’s a bit of a story,” he admitted nervously.

    Phil placed a hand on Ranboo’s upper arm, given his shoulder was a bit too high up for comfort. “Let’s walk and talk, then. I’m assuming this piglin you know is elsewheres, at least.” Ranboo nodded. “Yeah. Let me just, uh--” he sent a quick message to Tubbo saying they were on their way as they started walking-- “Yeah. But first uh, we already healed him. Sort of. We cured him, but he’s not healed. He’s got some really bad infections and we’re worried that some of the issues are internal. It doesn’t seem like it, but we want to be safe.” Phil’s face shifted to a look of deep concern, and mentally started making note of what they would need, as Techno looked rather thoughtfully at Ranboo, having picked up more than just the medical details that Phil was so focused on. “‘We’’? Who’s ‘we’?” Techno asked. 

    Ranboo stiffened, and then took a deep breath. Well, here went nothing. “So you know Tubbo? --Please don’t get mad at me,” Ranboo started, and Techno held his tongue. “When I first joined and Tubbo was giving me a tour of New L’Manberg, we found a. Uh. We found a baby piglin who had been zombified.” Something seemed to click for both Techno and Phil as a look of realization passed over their faces, and Ranboo prayed that it didn’t turn to anger or aggression. They had no reason to feel that way, he tried to reassure himself, but he knew their history with Tubbo.

    “We… made him a little shelter in the Nether to protect him from ghasts and wandering off. Until we’d made a baby-proofed room for him at least in Tubbo’s house. And last night we brought him to the overworld, to Tubbo’s house, and cured him.” Ranboo waited for the backlash, and while Techno looked like he had something he wanted to say, Phil spoke first. “Keeping him in the Nether in a shelter was one of the best things you could’ve done. Most of the area around the main portal, which is what I’m assuming you used, is wasteland, so it’s really dry and that would’ve protected him as well as anything can from decaying. Techno?”

    Techno, after having been given the go-ahead, was finally free to speak his mind. “Ranboo-- Ranboo I’m not really so sure about Tubbo, I mean he is one of the big government guys that hunted me down-- are you doin’ this as like, a favor to him? What’s the relationship there?” Ah. Ranboo had been prepared to talk about Michael, but this, now this was a little awkward. Instead, he decided to first pipe up to correct Techno and defend Tubbo. “Actually, that was Quackity’s idea. He kind of talked everyone else into that. I’m pretty sure at least. I think I wrote it down. He was definitely the one who organized it though. I think he was gonna do it whether we agreed or not?” Techno was very clearly making mental notes. “Interesting,” he said. Ranboo continued in his answer. “And relationship, well uh, it’s not a favor per se, it’s more like��� we adopted him? Together. We adopted him together, like, as our son? And we’re married.”

    “What?” Phil squawked. Techno just blinked at Ranboo, and chose his words carefully, trying to hide his shock. Actually, if it wasn’t so nerve-wracking, it would’ve been hilarious. “Well. I won’t say anything as to your choice in spouse, but this is definitely new information.” Phil, despite his ruffled feathers in both a physical and metaphorical sense, gathered himself and decided to push the other two to do the same. Quite literally-- he put a firm hand on Techno and Ranboo both and started urging them towards the portal. Ranboo let out a startled noise that was intermingled with a confused, small laugh. “Right, well, infection’s not gonna get better on its own, we can deal with this situation later. I will talk to you and Tubbo about this,” Phil nearly scolded, and Ranboo could only nod under Phil’s determination. Techno, of course, deferred his judgement to Phil.

[errata98]

Fanfiction I Read in 2020 

I didn’t realize how long this post was going to be until I was about halfway through. And it still is not even close to exhaustive. 

Soo, while 2020 has been such a tumultuous year one great thing about this time in my life is that I’ve had more time than ever to read. I am always so blown away by how much talent there is in fanfiction, so big, big thank you to all the writers that share their work and for whisking me away from real life into something far more pleasurable. It definitely makes my whole day when a fic I love has been updated, and I enjoy catching glimpses of rough drafts and the writing process via tumblr (I’m still trying to understand how their galaxy brains even work lolol). 

It’s long, but I am not putting it under a cut! They’re too good!

Long Fics (>= 50k words)

Roses From Where Thorns Grow by @bdafic​ [incomplete]- I started this a while ago, must have lost track of it, and then found it again this summer. Feels weird to type because this is not really me irl lol but accidental pregnancy fics are one of my favorites kinds of fics. Papa Solas is amazing. Somewhere, I once tagged something with ‘solas dad best dad’ and I think that probably sums up my feelings on the matter. The last chapter I read has left me anxious for more, so I’m eagerly awaiting what will likely be the first chapter posted in 2021. 

Ruins by @luzial [incomplete] - A real story of a couple who broke up, fought each other for twenty years, got sent back in time, and are now trying to make things work again ;) Lavellan here is older and wiser in all the ways that matter, and Solas is... well Solas in many ways is everything we wish he would (and could) be now. Had the most wonderful realization that I somehow missed the last chapter that apparently came out on my birthday, so I know what I’ll be doing later.

Fen’Harel’s Teeth by @5lazarus​  [incomplete] - the conversations in this fic are one of my favorite parts. They’re in character, but they’re also just interesting to read. The words just fly across the page -- it’s smooth, seamless, pithy. I love politics and I love a main character who has her wits about her -- both are in this fic. Also features fatherly!Solas, which I just adore.

By the Still Waters by [orphan account]. This is older, but I knew it was popular so I gave it a shot and... yes, I understand now. I loved reading something from Fenris’ perspective. I loved how he’s a foil for Solas. I love seeing Lavellan as this near mythical person because we see everything through Fenris’ eyes. I love Hawke and Fenris together. Merrill also featured more heavily than I anticipated and she had some of the best lines I’ve ever read.

Pressure Point by 17734 [incomplete] - this fic leaves me constantly unsettled (in the best, most addictive, under-your-skin kind of way). I’ve read the first 18 or so chapters twice, and it’s one of those stories that’s slightly different the second time you read it. I really like the author’s take on immortal beings, some of it is very reminiscent of some of the Greek mythology I read in school - characters are at turns both magnificent and terrifying. The language is also very beautiful, and I’m a sucker for anything close to prosaic. 

Out of Time by destinies - so, I don’t know how I found this beyond just “Twitter.” This isn’t Dragon Age related -- it’s from The Greisha Trilogy, which I had never heard of before -- something just told me I would really like this story. Forced/political marriages’, memory loss, enemies to lovers, the dichotomy between light and dark embodied by a single couple... yes, thank you. I had to kind of piece the world together as I read, which was admittedly a lot of fun, and um... wow, I really loved this! Another one of my ‘binged in a single night’ fics.  

Message Sent by @aicosu [incomplete]- this is coincidentally how I got my former partner into Dragon Age lol. I had originally read it the first time as it was coming out. The second time I read it aloud to them over the course of a few days, feeling very much like Cassandra trying to do certain character’s voices. It reminded me of how much I loved it, and so I feel like it deserves a mention here. Definitely an unorthodox but memorable way of cursing someone with being emotionally invested in the Solavellan romance 

Short Fics (< 50k words)

nothing on my tongue by @ellstersmash - the chapters here are short, and I loved seeing the fic updated put of order. This was my first time experiencing that, and I loved guessing where we were in the in-game timeline, and also, as more chapters were posted, which chapter numbers were still missing and therefore what the missing chapters might be about. I associate this fic with feeling kind of melancholy a lot. I think the word constraints really lent itself well to the Solavallen romance -- beautiful and poignant, but always leaving me wanting more.

In and Out of Time Again by @luzial - hoo boy did I have a fun time reading this one. I actually rarely go for AU’s this “AU”, but I trusted this author, and it paid off. In fact, I think I subconsciously had more doubts than I thought because what started a curious perusal ended in one of those “up until 3 am reading” kind of nights. It was such a fast-paced, interesting read, I couldn’t wait to see what happened next. Ink is one of my favorite Lavellans; she’s just too cool.

The Fourth Day by sass_bot (@knightava) [incomplete] - this was just such a perfect example of how to build tension and dread for the reader, that I still think about it frequently. Also, who wouldn’t love a Skyhold murder mystery?

Beyond the Veil by Pyreite [incomplete] - A 200 years post-Veil fic. Abelas is in it, which is how I knew it was gonna be good hehe. I really like the world-building, and I like explorations of the romance with a more hardened Lavellan. 

I Come to You With Nothing by CommonEvilMasterMind. I’ll preface this by writing that this made me cry with a mixture of sorrow and happiness. The premise is an undercover mission in an alienage which involves Solas and Ellana masquerading as a married couple. It’s beautifully written, and just honestly kind of bittersweet. The writing is itself very touching but I also think it’s almost difficult to read because the Solavellan romance has an arc that looks like it’s just exponentially deviating from anything remotely happy lolol 

That Girl Is Like A Sunburn by @yourstrulycommandershepard - I just discovered this person’s writing this year and I’m kind of obsessed? I went on a whole binge this past summer and *fans self*. I picked this one for my list because I haven’t read that many Solas/Trevelyan fics, and hers are by far some of my favorites. I also love that the titles of some of her fics are Taylor Swift lyrics. I get Solavellan vibes from so many of Taylor’s songs - glad it’s not just me!

Aravel by @playwithdinos - More Papa Solas. I can’t say anything more than it hit me right in the vhenan. 

Wake Up by queenofkadara (@pikapeppa) - One of those fics I thought about for days afterward. The characterization was incredible, and it hurt me to read about Varric brining up Lavellan and seeing Solas’ reaction, and it hurt even more to be left wanting for more, just like Solas. 

[eviefrie]

fic writer interview!

thanks @frumpkinspocketdimension for the tag :3

i think most if not all of my fic writer friends have done this one already? so i’m not tagging anyone but if you see this and want to talk about yourself, go ahead and do it

ao3: friendlyghost

fandoms: i tend to jump around a Lot. currently writing weirdly consistently for the locked tomb, which has been a super fun time

two shot: i don’t actually have any so i’m putting marvelous and dangerous (tlt) here. it’s a 30k oneshot i probably should have split it into two.

most popular multichap: by any objective measure, it’s Romeo versus Juliet, a percabeth fanfic i was writing in middle school. i’m not linking to that one yall gotta work for it if you want to read it.

also, there isn’t a specific question for oneshots ? so let me mention my most popular fic by stats, the world will follow after (the witcher netflix), and my most popular fic in its fandom, short skirt long jacket (critical role). those are gonna be at the top of my stats page for the rest of my life i think.

actual worst part of writing: i am very bad at remembering words. so i’ll get stuck on something because i can’t remember the word for it, or spend several minutes trying to figure out how to work around the thing i’m trying to say. it’s a pain in the Ass.

how you choose your titles: by the vibes. i do song lyrics a lot, esp. if nothing better comes to me while i’m writing.

do you outline: ish? i did a pretty hardcore one for m&d, but that was a hell of a project. in general i’ll do a vague outline of the plot events and wing it from there. what i do like to do is jot down some characterization notes before i start, so i know what motivations/traits i’m gonna focus on, and then use that to guide me as i go.

ideas you probably won’t get around to but wouldn’t it be nice: ....i AM going to finish the castlevania wip and my syndicate/bsi crossover at one point. promise. but god i really want to write that hzd superpowers au that’s been in my head for like two years.

callouts @ me: casper, believe it or not, you can do character development without making it porn. i know. i know.

best writing traits: i’ve gotten complimented on my dialogue flow and character voices a lot? i feel like my sense of humor comes through a lot better in fics than when ur actually talking to me lmao.

spicy tangential opinion: [deep breath] no one owes you feedback. it is nice to get, and encouraging fic readers to stop lurking and leave comments/kudos/etc is like. fine. but you don’t deserve feedback just for the act of writing and posting. this is a callout @ myself as well but hoo boy are some of yall entitled.

[ragequilt]

sometimes people tag you in things and they are Wrong. SOMETIMES @ongreenergrasses tags you and says it is good and important to talk about women and you know what. they’re just right. all the time

anyway i was tagged to post 10 favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms (hoo boy that’s gonna be a challenge) so !!!

1. hermione granger - the fandom that shall not be mentioned because look. the source material and the author are garbage, really, but at this point i’ve been in or tangential to this fandom since i was like. 12? probably? and she’s grown legs that have little to do with the source material. (but also -- know-it-all? hard to like? please it’s me, i read dramione fic just to feel emotions for mySELF, i love her so much)

2. darcy lewis - the fandom of which i personally will not speak, because they found-family baited me and turned it into a war instead. last year ashley made me watch the first cap movie and got me onto the bucky barnes love train, which coincidentally had a leg of the journey on the darcy lewis love train? it was an odd (wonderful), interesting time. i love the way that she gets written about (i have not seen the first thor and you will not make me sorry) -- darcy has so much of a character that may be wholecloth fanon but it is one that I LOVE. it is a lot of stiles-style voice in a superhero universe in kat denning’s body and i just. feel so much joy when i get to read her. (seriously, you won’t catch me watching thor 1) (peggy i love you too but i simply cannot paste myself onto you in the same way, i’m so sorry sweetie)

3. SOPHIE HATTER FROM HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE. is hmc a fandom? we don’t know. do we care? also no. sophie is the character that first got me on board with the idea that it’s... idk, okay to be old? it sounds terrible to say it (and in the face of the fact that she’s young-but-grey by the end of it, who knows what that means) but she was old and she was HAPPIER for it and i think that her story is so much about... making or finding your own joy? something out of her control happened to her and she decided that she was done making fucking hats and went to be her own self (and then ended up with... all that. sorry sophie but also i’m happy for you)

4. allura - vld. allura, honey. i’m so sorry for all those things that s8 thinks it made happen to you. fuck that we write our own story, s8 who? but seriously allura is... so underrated and under-looked at, i think, outside of lotura and allurance, which is a crime. i mean, consider a) what she was going through up until she ended up in stasis and b) the world that she came out of stasis into!! in the first season alone she has to sacrifice what is functionally her father’s living memory just to save herself and the others and i just. allura has SO much strength and yet she has so much brightness and joy in her. allura is their leader as the princess and then she transitions so smoothly into the blue lion and she is SO happy to be there and i just. i just want her to have a chance outside of wartime. everyone deserves that, but allura especially to me.

5. nani from lilo and stitch. is there a fandom for this? i still don’t care. regardless, nani is an on-screen equivalent of what SO much of my teenage / young adult years were (and my siblings have two living parents!!) and i just find her so relatable. she’s trying so hard but she’s not infallible. she’s just a kid, too.

6. gideon the ninth from the locked tomb series. gideon, you are so dumb and i love you so much (john mulaney voice). how am i supposed to put into words the way i felt reading the first book through her pov? just a genuine delight ok (please go read these books)

7. uraraka ochako from bnha. i did not expect to like ochako when i started this series. (i didn’t expect to like anyone except for bk, honestly, and then i saw mina’s perfect pink everything, but that is neither here nor there) but what she means to me is... i was afraid i was going to witness the sakura experience all over again? i think i got sold on her when she first admitted why she wanted to be a hero... she is so earnest but so much more stubborn than she gets credit for, a lot of times, and every time i see her i just smile. (honorary mentions for tsu and mina because seriously, i was in love with mina from the moment i knew she was pink all over) (also mirko but that is mostly just because. she’s so hot. guys she’s just so hot.)

8. riza hawkeye from fma. i don’t think i even need to make a case here. i love her so much and when she is on screen my enjoyment goes up by 15%

9. yennefer from the witcher. we simply stan yen in this house. she has had a hard and complicated life and her story is ALSO hard and complicated and you know what. she doesn’t /deserve/ it but she does deserve respect for it and also i love her.

10. lup theadventurezone. i just love her so much. much like riza she ALSO requires no explanation, sorry.

tagging -- @ofmermaidstories @unintentionalgenius (hayls got you already but i love you too much not to tag you sorry) @grimghostkid uhhhhh and anyone else that wants to do it!

[toxicpineapple]

HI IM ANON THAT ASKED FOR HCS and i just wanted like hmm a general like hcs for the whole cast,, but i would gladly appreciate a ‘taro ramble too <33

okay, well, to begin with, i do have a post of drv3 character headcanons already, so you can go and check this post out for your outdated juice. i honestly made this post months ago though so a lot of the headcanons on there are. kind of wonky. i’m gonna go ahead and correct the ones that have changed real quick and then add on new ones.

- bi kaito and maki? LAME!!! kaito and maki are homoromantic asexuals and i don’t take constructive criticism. (bi kaito and maki headcanons are so valid i just prefer them as homosexual now LFKDSJFKJD anyway akamota rights)

- actually they’re all asexual? hehe. the love hotels aren’t real they can’t hurt me. i’m gonna list ace headcanons now

- shuichi: sex positive asexual

- kaede: sex indifferent asexual

- kaito: sex repulsed asexual

- maki: sex repulsed asexual

- miu: sex indifferent asexual (side note, if anyone comes at me for my ace miu headcanons i’m literally gonna commit a murder)

- kokichi: sex repulsed asexual (but good at repressing his sex repulsion)

- rantaro: sex repulsed asexual

- himiko: sex repulsed asexual

- tsumugi: sex repulsed asexual

- tenko: sex repulsed asexual

- angie: sex positive asexual

- kiyo: sex positive asexual (but experiences sex repulsion due to trauma)

- ryoma: sex repulsed asexual

- gonta: sex indifferent asexual

- kirumi: sex repulsed asexual

- kiibo: sex indifferent asexual

- um. i lost my train of thought. oh. okay. so i gave kokichi depression back when i made this post and i think that was a weird thing in particular to saddle him with. i don’t think kokichi is like, a-okay and all the time, but i think he tends more towards manic than depressive. which isn’t to say that he can’t be both, but there’s a vibe and kokichi doesn’t have it

- regardless i gave kaito depression. suffer bitchboy

- while we’re talking about kaito, HOO BOY, i am a kinnie. sorry about this, anon. kaito has asthma, which isn’t a kinnie thing, but he also plays the ukulele, which IS a kinnie thing. i mentioned that he can knit. that was true. he also bakes!!! and he has had a series of hyperfixations throughout his life in this order:

- disney movies (ongoing)

- pirates (elementary school)

- musical theatre (first year middle school)

- frogs (second year middle school)

- tennis (third year middle school)

- also kaito has a crush on ryoma! haha! did i mention i don’t take constructive criticism! anyway

- let’s talk about trans headcanons :)

- shuichi, kokichi, maki, kaede, himiko, and tenko are all binary trans no matter what work i’m writing them in. even if i don’t tag it and it doesn’t come up at all, assume they’re trans! because they are and i don’t take constructive criticism

- BIG fan of nb kiibo, rantaro, kiyo, angie, kirumi, and kaito. just, real big fan

- all trans headcanons are valid periodt!!! except transmasc tenko we don’t.... we don’t like that in this house. please take your transmasc tenko elsewhere

- while i do think that himiko’s master committing suicide was One Hell Of A Take on my part, i’m pretty sure he just left. he just ditched a child because she was better than him. that’s all. y’know that one oumeno fic where he dies and everything is nuanced? yeah. he was just, a shitty person, that’s all it was. i’m sorry himiko you deserved better

- ummmmmmm himiko autistic! himiko autistic. she cannot STAND the texture of denim or sweats, it is just. The Unhappy Texture

- delicately eyezooms. low empathy mugi? low empathy tsumugi? hewwo, low empa

- kokichii is very good with kids! just exceedingly good with children. it’s because he is one himself

- kaede has two dads :)

- himiko’s parents are divorced. she lives with a single mother. as one does from time to time

- rantaro, if he finds all his sisters, eventually settles down as either a teacher, a therapist, or a school counselor. so like the first two or a combination of them

- kaito knits under the bed. why does he do this? i don’t know. he doesn’t know. it’s a thing, just go with it.

- rantaro sees a lesbian and thinks, “hmmm. she could use an emotional support himbo” and then just does it. kaito does this too but he hyperfocuses on like. two or three lesbians at a time. rantaro spreads himself thin between the lesbians. amamota and lesbians guys get into it

- mwahahaha (pushes my amamota agenda onto you) they’re dating and in love!

- coffee headcanons :)

- shuichi: black. as black as his soul. which is to say very black. not because he’s emo he just likes the colour

- kaede: a bit of cream and sugar, nothing excessive. kaede stays up late on hyperfixation energy alone she doesn’t need no coffee

- kaito: a couple sugar cubes but no cream

- maki: ... a lot sweeter than she’ll admit

- rantaro: milk and sugar with a side of coffee

- gonta: gonta prefers tea! but he’ll take coffee when it’s offered, as gentlemen do. he likes it with a bit of cream, but no sugar

- kirumi: black.

- ryoma: black

- himiko: she prefers apple juice. himiko gets nauseous on coffee

- tenko: DOES NOT DRINK COFFEE!!! NO!!!! COFFEE IS AN ADDICTION IT’S BAD FOR YOU!!!!!!

- angie: angie doesn’t drink coffee either but when she does you have to fill the damn thing with mostly milk or she will be absolutely unbearable

- kokichi: you really wanna give this little adhd gremlin coffee? are you insane? (he’ll take it with an egregious amount of cream and sugar but he doesn’t mind it black)

- miu: black and like six or seven cups of it at a time

- tsumugi: a little bit of cream but no sugar!

- korekiyo: he really prefers tea but kiyo will take coffee either black or with a touch of cream

- kiibo: haha.... he’d like to know what coffee tastes like.......

- scent headcanons :))))

- shuichi: books, cinnamon, rose tea, coffee

- kaede: honeysuckle, morning dew

- kaito: axe body spray, banana bread, old spice

- maki: fresh snow, dry cleaners

- tsumugi: fabric stores, honey, lemons

- korekiyo: incense, perfume, old books

- kiibo: metal

- kokichi: linen, sugar

- rantaro: evergreen trees, fresh laundry, incense (finesses jim’s hcs)

- miu: coffee, machinery, rosemary shampoo

- kirumi: mild floral perfume, dark chocolate

- gonta: trees, camp fires, pine needles

- angie: paint, clay, daisies, salt water

- himiko: strawberries, clean laundry, hot chocolate

- tenko: cherry blossoms, tatami, maybe a little bit of sweat

- ryoma: mint, rubber

anon i probably have more but my spoon count just went down, i hope you appreciate this list, such as it is FLKSJDFKLSDJFj i’m!! really passionate about these guys. i’d also love to talk about rantaro’s specific relationship with each member of the v3 cast so like........ shoot me an ask if there’s interest i guess FLKDSJFLKDSJF

or if there’s interest in anything else!! i love answering these you guys are so sweet, tysm <3

[wainwrightjakobshammerlock]

finally. i decided to do this. anyways hello there, i am jake and today i want to talk about something; you see, if you are in the tf2 fandom, you probably know about heavymedic. Wherther you are a hardcore gamer who resents f2p’s or a person that never played the game but has trillions of notes on their art- you know heavymedic exists and most of all you probably ship it.

And I find that weird. In the few fandoms in my life I have been in I had never seen a single ship be so widely if not shipped, then accepted. Sure, maybe everyone in the GF fandom knows what Billdip is - for better or for worse. Sure, maybe the HS fandom is 70% shipping.

But I have never ever seen such a phenomenon in a prominent multiplayer game fandom. A fandom, sadly, oftentimes filled with toxicity. Overwatch is very similar here - yet ships are either a hot topic of discussion or straight up ignored. But TF2? In here for whatever reason we ship these two mercenaries. And in this essay I will try and find a reason or two why is that.

Apologies for any mistakes or incoherency. English is not my first language, I need to ramble, and my vocabulary is all over the place.

Content warning: mentions of homophobia, blood, death, mentions of WLW fetishization, nsfw mention. Also MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR THE TF2 COMICS.

Part 1: Canonical Evidence and Interactions

Let’s be honest: I could ramble about this one for days on end. But I’ll try and keep it short.

First and foremost we have the official videos. And of course the first thing that comes to mind is Meet the Medic.

At the very start of the part where Medic himself appears, we see him telling a joke about a particularly gruesome situation to Heavy.

He laughs along with him, visibly enjoying his company. He even smiles as he waits for another joke. Heavy only shows genuine fear a lot later.

And of course this damn scene always cracks me up. Medic slightly pinches Heavy’s cheek and strokes his lip gently (the other part is almost not noticeable unless you play the video at slow speed).

Of course we all know about the Hand Hold that happens somewhere halfway in the vid. I don’t think I have to explain the gayness in that. The fact their hands stay interlocked even after Medic helps Heavy up. The deep breath Medic takes because even he cannot handle the emotions. That few seconds is unresolved sexual tension manifest.

Overall the short shows a strong feeling of trust between these two. Medic confides in Heavy and reverse. Yeah he puts a baboon heart into his friend’s chest cavity but the fact (as proven at the end of the video) that Heavy was the first one to have an Ubercharge implanted into him shows that Medic at the very least considers him a lab rat.

I treat End of the Line as non-canonical, as do many others, and as such won’t discuss it here. But it will forever crack me up that Valve endorsed such levels of homoerotic subtext.

These two have some short moments in other videos, like for example in Invasion Heavy helps Medic up (CINEMATIC PARALLELS) but it’s nothing major so I guess I’ll skip forward.

Second is their interactions ingame. You might call me a weirdo for trying to find stuff in there but holy shit I have things to say and I’m going to say them.

You thought I was going to fanboy over the “i love this doktor” voiceline huh? Well not really. I wish these two had unique lines if they assist one another.

Heavy is literally listed on the official wiki as the “ideal medic buddy” and multiple pages on that exact wiki say some pretty interesting things.

I have to say something about the Gentleman’s Ushanka and/or Pocket Medic. They are both community cosmetics - but the fact they both got accepted by Valve says a lot. Above is text snipped from the actual wiki.

Last but not least: The Comics. Darned comics. The pair of mercenaries has basically no interaction - unless you count issue 6.

Heavy getting absolutely PISSED when Medic is killed by Ch*avy. Their reunion. Medic referring to Heavy by “my friend” in a totally straight way. Kind of sad Valve wasted an opportunity for them to hug. Maybe they knew their comic artist ships them and wanted to avoid having to answer the Question™.

Part 2: Dynamics

This part’s a bit trickier, mostly due to the reason that I’m new to this whole dynamic analysis thing. Yeah I’m good at spotting canonical evidence but very specific shipping dynamics often escape my gaze.

The most obvious one is Big Guy, Little Guy. Quoting the TVTROPES page:

[…] This trope describes a pair of guys who always fight together, are best friends forever, and quite often have a very obvious hierarchy: The little guy is often in charge […] The little guy is usually listed first, since he’s the leader, and they are always listed together, as if they are one entity. In fact, some episodes may center on the fact that they can’t live without each other. […] If this is a case of Brains and Brawn, the Big Guy is usually the Brawn, and the Little Guy the Brains. It’s almost never the other way around, but in some cases the Big Guy can be rather smart too. […]

A sub-type of this, a common favorite here on Tumblr is known as “small chaotic big calm” and hoo boy if that isn’t these two. I don’t really have much to say here - again I am not an expert.

Part 3: Fandom Impact

So you don’t think Red Oktoberfest (as Heavymedic is sometimes called) is super popular on anywhere else than Tumblr? Wrong.

It’s hard to find TF2 fics on Archive of Our Own not tagged with Heavy/Medic. Of course most of them only contain hints to their relationship but go in the main tf2 tag and I can guarantee you, you’ll gonna see “implied heavy/medic” all the time.

But these two go further than AO3 or Tumblr or Instagram or whatever. They are recognized even within the wider circle of the fanbase. Take this SFM, for example. (I am using the Saxxy Awards version of Secret Lives here mostly due to the fact that the Heavymedic moment is much gayer. In the normal version, the dialogue isn’t changed, but they simply hold hands.)

But it gets deeper. (WARNING: THE GAY MOMENT IN THIS ONE IS NSFW. NOT EXPLICITLY SO BUT JUST A HEADS UP TUMBLR PLEASE DO NOT FLAG ME)

And the best part? The comments are extremely positive. You’d expect hoards upon hoards of homophobes screeching but no, the comments are supportive. Even on places such as Reddit or Youtube, comments like “yeah they’re gay and in love” do not get downvoted/disliked to hell; in fact the opposite.

Part 4: Canon Status

Let’s be real. Most ships are shipped because people want to explore the dynamics in fanfic, fanart or something else. But Heavymedic is shipped because… well, I have no idea.

Actually, I kind of do - but only theories. You see, while the canonical evidence is here, the creators have never said anything about them. No confirmation, no disproval, no hinting, nothing.

But the ship is so prominent! There has to be something causing this!- you say. And to that I present you 2 theories on why Heavy/Medic is so popular.

Theory number 1 states that we simply all choose to interpret their interactions as homoerotic. And this is very easy to disprove - there’s simply no way we just collectively agreed on these matters out of nothing. There has to be something bigger.

And theory 2 states that, well, our interpretation is the desired interpretation. But this is even more ridiculous than theory 1 for a number of reasons. If they are in fact gay, why hasn’t Valve made them canon yet?

A Theoretical Scenario

I am going to ramble big time on this one, so buckle up lads. I’ll discuss a theoretical scenario in which, well, if that was not obvious, Valve confirms Heavymedic as canon. Maybe then we will see why they will probably never do so.

TF2 is considered by typical capital G, alt-right Gamers as a “non-political” game. This means no women (in the game itself, at least, and if even, sexy women only), no queer folk and no minorities (for some reason they accept Demoman but throw a fit if someone draws any other merc as not being pearl white). Team Fortress 2 was around before Gamergate and other things like Gamers Rise Up. It’s a classic and Valve is regarded as the good guy to Epic Game’s bad guy. If Valve did anything to confirm doubts, wherther it be clearing up popular fanon or confirming ships, these people would throw hands. (Although they seemed to ignore when one of the writers confirmed Miss Pauling is a lesbian. Huh.) Even those that don’t play TF2 would come to the aid of their bros.

Let me illustrate with two very similar examples. In both cases these confirmations were the first made by the company as a whole, both are fairly recent and both confirm a character as gay.

First we have the confirmation of Tracer from Overwatch as a lesbian. It was done in one of OVW’s comics. Tracer is the FACE of Overwatch as a whole and while most of the fanbase accepted it (thankfully the Gamers are reluctant to infest ow), some people threw what I can only describe as a hissy fit. At least her girlfriend’s a background character.

Second is Neeko from League of Legends. Unlike Tracer she was added a while before it was confirmed she was gay. LOL is much more toxic and filled with Gamers than OW and holy shit people smeared LOL so much.

Of course these are not accurate to Heavy/Medic. In both of the cases I listed it was girls being wlw and we all know how much cisgender heterosexual gamers LOVE yuri porn. Apparently only girls can be gay because they can jack off to it - if it’s two guys then it’s disgusting. Nevertheless I think these are good approximations - in every case the company gets “shat on” on social media and other sites. With the community that Valve has, I think even if they wanted them to be gay, they would never ever confirm it.

Conclusion

I’m sorry for that ending. I had to theorize a bit. Regardless I’d love if you shared this on other sites, reblogged or whatever - I wasted at least 1 and a half hours of my life on it. Feel free to cite this as a source if someone asks you why you ship the big heavy weapons expert and the feral battle medic.

[veliseraptor]

okay so just watched the Black Widow trailer again and some thoughts:

the biggest one is “oh my god is this actually happening???” like guys I’ve been saying for literal years that I didn’t believe we’d ever get a Black Widow movie and I’d believe it when I was watching the end credits, and now here we are with an actual for real trailer and I’m dying a little

NATASHA. NATASHA NATASHA NATASHA

as I mentioned in the tags of a gifset reblog - her hair is great. seriously, fantastic hair.

YELENA MOTHERFUCKING BELOVA I mean I would want her to be more of an antagonist in my ideal movie because I love her as a foil to Natasha but that she’s there at all! and them basically saying hello by fighting each other! and Natasha having relationships with other women holy shit how about that

like. we have three whole women in this one trailer and they look to actually interact with each other what a novelty (it sounds like I’m being sarcastic and bitter which is true but also...yes, this is important to me)

interesting to see what they do with the Red Guardian but dear lord Marvel what is it with you and fat jokes

guy with the bow-and-arrow - almost certainly Taskmaster but my brain immediately went “HAWKEYE???” look I’m still Clintasha trash at heart

in the intro showing Fury and Clint on “this family” hoo boy feelings

love that trailer music damn

if this is “Natasha and Yelena wreck the Red Room” that’s a fic plot I’m pretty sure I’ve read and I’m really excited to see it on a screen 

anyway I’m gonna just. my throat is sore and I feel stupid sick but HEY THIS WAS A GOOD MORNING SURPRISE

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Rec Tag

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) & link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2019. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want so we can spread the love & link each other to awesome works!

I was tagged by my partner in crime @extasiswings who is awful because she knows I’m terrible at praising myself but I will try my best.

Edit: I just went back through my notifications and saw that @koortega tagged me as well, bless you darling. Your gifsets and fanvids have inspired my fics deeply so. You’re the best.

Holy shit I wrote a lot in 2019. And I’m actually proud of pretty much everything - I took on a lot of challenging writing endeavors over the past year, and I think I managed to actually pull them all off. While I kind of beat myself up a little for focusing so much on fanfic and not my original novels, I think I needed this year of fanfic to really finish mastering my craft, come into my own, and prove to myself that yes, I can write this, whatever “this” might be. Not to mention that 2019 was a shitty fucking year otherwise, and I needed a goddamn distraction. So, without further ado, in no particular order...

1. the thing with shadows is (they come from light, from somewhere) (Timeless)

Jesus H. Christ this was a fic and a half. And its sequel was even longer. This fic is literally known as “the Garcy BDSM fic” and frankly that’s accurate. It started out as a joke between myself and a couple friends - “hey wouldn’t it be funny if” - and then I fucking played myself and actually wrote this 90k word monster. I’m really proud of it because it’s hard to take a fic that’s set in a BDSM club where there’s sex every chapter and actually keep the sex fresh and interesting each time, and it’s hard to weave a solid plot and character arcs into a fic that’s so focused on smut. It’s one of my most popular fics and I think it’s earned that popularity. I actually got a lot of asks and messages because of this fic from people asking me for advice and information on BDSM, kink, and sexuality/sexual orientation, so I like to think it had a positive impact that way as well, educating people on what BDSM and kink is and how it actually works. So yeah, I’m proud of this one.

2. whispers like poetry (Timeless)

Okay so technically this one was started on Christmas Day of 2018 but it was written all throughout 2019 so it counts. What began as a back and forth with @extasiswings over what would’ve happened if Lucy and Flynn had started fucking in season one turned into a complete monster of a fic where nobody was talking about their goddamn feelings for 90k words. As frustrated as we got with our beloved characters, it was an amazing and joyful experience to work with her. She’s a brilliant writer and understands the characters better than I think just about anyone (including the show writers, sorry not sorry) and I loved every minute of writing this. And I think the final product turned out pretty damn good.

3. Richie Tozier: Small Town Trash (IT 2019)

This one baaarely squeaks by since it was published December 30th but hey, that’s still 2019! I worked on it off and on throughout the month and was really fucking pleased with the result. I’m autistic and so I grew up with a sense of humor that, shall we say, did not vibe with the humor of others. I didn’t usually get jokes. I couldn’t tell when someone was kidding or was serious. I wasn’t considered funny - in fact I’ve lost track of how many times I would make a joke and the whole room would fall into awkward silence as a result. So to write something not only funny, but stand up? Jesus Christ, what was I thinking? But it worked. It really, really worked. People loved it. I actually managed to be funny. Go me.

4. The Void is Open (Timeless)

I thought this fic was gonna be like. 50k max. Ha. Ha ha. Hoo boy. I really need to stop underestimating how long it takes the flaming dumpster trio to get their emotional shit sorted. This fic was based on the very painful idea, “what if Flynn had actually shot John Rittenhouse in episode ten?” Exploring the consequences of that both emotionally for Flynn and literally for Lucy, who is erased from existence as a result, was a lot of fun. Painful, but like. I enjoyed it. I joked that this fic started a new fanfiction genre called “domestic angst” and I stand by that term. This is domestic angst. And I think I did a really good job with exploring the fallout from this one, single action.

5. Love You Like a Killer (I Want to Make Your Heart Stop) (Timeless)

Holy shit. This fic didn’t get wrapped up until the end of January in 2020 but I started it in September of 2019 - and it turned into a monster. It’s my longest fic ever, at over 200k words, surpassing even my smut collection. I really underestimated the myriad of plot threads I had going on with this one. I also underestimated how dark it was going to get. I mean, it’s a Castle AU, how bad could it be, right? ...right? Ha ha. *ahem* While the main pairing for this is Garcyatt, this fanfic was seriously an ensemble work in every sense of the word. Everyone got character arcs and side plots, and I had a lot of work balancing the murder mystery cases I was taking from Castle with the emotional arcs of the Timeless characters. I didn’t plan on this fanfic being my final Timeless work, but I think it’s fitting, because while it’s not necessarily my best work (I think Confidence Trick really earns that title) or people’s favorite work (see: Garcy BDSM fic), it’s the largest most complex single fic I’ve ever done.

Honorable mentions include If They’re Out of Lifejackets, Grab a Friend which was a fanfic of @qqueenofhades brilliant, absolutely showstopping (or should I say show-continuing) @timeless-season-four project, and Love is Bright but Casts a Shadow (Its Name is Grief) which had to wear a lot of hats since it’s a) the prequel to my magnum opus, but b) has to be read last and c) fit not only the canon seasons one and two but also d) @koortega’s fantastic video that inspired it.

Tagging @captainofthefallen @phoenixwrites @thestraggletag @nothingeverlost and anyone else who would like to! Seriously if you want to do this, claim me as your tagger! You’re all fantastic creators, praise yourselves!

[midzelink]

"#listen i know exactly how these two meet and how they start dating and it's beautiful and i LOVE THEM" Please tell me everything!

(( in reference to the tags I made on this Ilia x Ashei art ))

HOO, BOY, OKAY - where to begin?  A lot of this is going to be stuff that I didn’t really want to make a post about, because my hopes were that I would eventually write their meeting and eventual dating into a multi-chapter fic of sorts (called “Love & Horses,” and there’s good reason for that, I swear), but I struggle with writing enough as-is, and by the time I do (if ever) get around to it, this post will absolutely be lost to time - so, what the heck!  Lemme gush a little bit.  Some of this I’ve already written about in the description of this wedding piece I had commissioned, but I’ll expand on it a bit here. (Also, shoutout to @therealflurrin for inspiring a lot of this - we somehow fell in love with these two independently of one another, which just goes to show how much potential these two have. Spread the Iliashei love!)

So, what’s important to understand about Ashei (and this is all just my headcanon, of course) going into this is that she was raised alone by her father in the Hebra Mountains, with very sparse and sporadic human contact outside of him.  As she says in-game, he was a “knight in his own right,” and he “taught [her] the arts of war as though [she] was his son” - he taught her how to wield a sword, but unfortunately for her, that was pretty much all he taught her.  He was a troubled man haunted by the ghosts of his past, perhaps, but he was a terrible father, and when Ashei was only fifteen years old she bested him in battle and ran away from home. She was on her own for quite some time, surviving in the harsh wilderness of the frozen wilds, but she did so aimlessly; all she had was her sword, and with nowhere else to turn, she eventually found her way to Hyrule proper, choosing to enlist as a knight solely because she would have a roof over her head and some money in her pocket.  She was only sixteen at the time - she lied and told them she was twenty - and when she bested every captain in the entire royal guard in a single evening, they agreed to take her in.

Another important thing to note is that Ashei’s arrival in Castle Town (and one particular encounter with Princess Zelda herself, but that’s a story for another time) awakens The Gay within her; she’s never really been around so many people before, let alone women her own age.  This has some interesting side effects, namely that Ashei has no idea how to talk to or behave around women, and it plays into the first time she and Ilia (improperly) meet.

So, picture this: a short time after the events of the game, Ilia travels back to Castle Town to visit Telma, whom she bonded following her kidnapping and memory loss.  Ashei is sitting in the bar, sipping on some ale, and she hears someone come in and begin chatting; she thinks nothing of it, of course, until she takes a quick little peak -

- and sees the most drop-dead gorgeous person she has ever seen in her entire life.

She panics.  Face goes completely red, she hides her face in her hand, nearly drops her ale.  Her fight her flight instincts kick in, and she chooses flight, rushing out of the bar before the girl can even notice her, let alone speak to her - and though it’s a few days before she can get the image of her out of her head, eventually things go back to normal, and Ashei finds comfort in the fact that she’ll probably never see that mystery girl again.

Except, y’know - she does.  Because of course she does.

Fast forward a bit, Hyrule Castle is a still a mess of being rebuilt, and the people need something to keep their spirits up - so Zelda is like, f**k it!  Dance time!  An outdoor ball, in the afterglow of twilight, with food and live music and all what have you.  Ashei attends in a full set of royal armor, complete with helm and all the fixings, as she’s only there on guard duty, but just as soon she thinks the night is going to end without incident, who do you think she sees sitting all alone, and does she looks slightly sad or is that a trick of the light, and oh my gods that dress is lovely, was it handmade, did she make it, and what are the chances she would see her again -

Ashei is still quite flustered, of course - only this time it’s different, because here, she isn’t herself.  Here, she’s just a nameless solider among many - she could be anybody - and somehow, someway, she musters up her courage to approach the young woman…and offers her hand in dance.

And I think now would be a good time to talk about Ilia’s side of things; we know a lot more about her story, of course, but it’d probably be good to mention that, yes, she did love Link - and perhaps, once upon a time, he could have loved her, too, but after everything that happened, he was unable to readjust to life back in Ordon, and as we see in the final credits, he leaves, in a scene that tells us almost certainly that he only said goodbye to her.  Ilia goes through quite a lot both during the game and in the months after; romance aside, Link has always been her closest friend, and suddenly he’s so distant from her.  It’s difficult to handle, and as she watches him leave after a few months of struggling with this, with no idea of when or if he’ll return, I guess you could say that she fell out of love out of necessity; he was, and always will be, a very dear friend to her, but the weight of what had happened to both of them had changed them, and their relationship would never be exactly the same as it once was.  It pains her - but she accepts it, and moves on.

So, Link is AWOL for a while, yeah?  Ilia has a lot going through her mind, and like Ashei did before she found a good friend in Shad and a makeshift home in the Resistance, she feels aimless.  On top of that, she’s still dealing with the trauma that being kidnapped had saddled her with, and what sticks with her the most is how helpless she felt waiting for someone else to save her.  Then wouldn’t you know, one day she gets a letter from Telma inviting her to festivities to be held in Castle Town, and Ilia makes up her mind about something.  She packs up her things…and sets off.

The night of the festival, Ilia does take the hand of that mysterious stranger - and as they dance it’s wonderful and magical and lovely and for a time she forgets all of her troubles, but before she can see their face or even learn their name they’re gone, leaving her wanting and curious.  Some time passes, and the festivities come to and end; Ilia makes for Telma’s Bar, where Shad, Ashei, and Auru are unwinding from the night’s events.  Telma introduces the younger woman to the gang, and Ashei almost begins to panic, before she realizes that Ilia would have no way of recognizing her, that Telma was just introducing them to a friend, that this would pass and be done with in no time at all, but then -

“I want to join the Resistance!”

And Ashei is just like,

Ah.

Ah, shit.

This post is getting rather long, so I’m gonna try to wrap things up here - but as you can imagine, hijinks ensue!  Things reach a climax when Ilia insists that Ashei teach her how to fight, and Ashei lashes out and flat-out refuses in a burst of anger, which triggers an episode of “oh my god am I turning into my father oh f**k no” and sends her running, truly panicking this time; Ilia runs after her, of course, and when she finally finds her they get to talking.  Ilia tells her that whatever it is that’s bothering her, she doesn’t have to open up about it now, or tomorrow, or any time soon, but if she ever wants to, she will be there to listen - and then Ilia opens up, about why she joined the Resistance, about her kidnapping and her scars and the horror she’s endured.  She chooses to be vulnerable where Ashei cannot, and then suddenly the mood is lighter, and Ashei is sheepishly admitting that she couldn’t teach her how to fight because she likes her too much, gods be damned, and Ilia is joking about how she never knew she liked girls till now because there were none her age growing up in Ordon, and Ilia thought Ashei liked Shad and Ashei thought Ilia liked Link, except Shad doesn’t like women and Ashei doesn’t like men and Link has been gone for months now, and oh, aren’t they both so stupid - and then they hear music, and Ilia stands and offers Ashei her hand, and in that moment both of them know, y’know?  Ashei still has a lot of stuff she’s got to work through, and it’s not going to be easy by any means, but for now, she can do this much - so she takes Ilia’s hand and the two of them dance into the night, pushing aside their worries till morning’s light.

Do the two of them start dating pretty much immediately?  Yes.  Do they love one another completely and utterly?  Absolutely.  Do they get married and is their wedding super, duper gay?  You bet your ass it is.

There’s a lot more to this that I won’t get into here, including Link’s eventual return (after three years of being away!) and the aftermath of that, and the exact specifics of Ashei’s troubled history with her father and how being with Ilia helps her to heal from it.  On the plus side, Bo becomes like the father that Ashei never had, and fun fact: the two like the arm wrestle!  Like, a lot!  (And Ashei sometimes lets him win.)