#[procrastinates packing harder]

[consumeroflemoans]

(miss you too)

We are unwell in very different ways lol, I'm crying over the decision fatigue of needing to pick what art supplies and plushies and cosplays and such to bring to college ;-;

Aaaaaaaaaaa I’ve just decided to bring everything and hope I have the space lmao

[callsign-rogueone]

study season

fourth wing characters (Aaric, Bodhi, Brennan, Dain, Garrick, Imogen, Liam, Mira, Rhiannon, Ridoc, Sawyer, Sloane, Violet, and Xaden) x reader the ways our faves help you study for exams. words: ~900 🏷: no book spoilers, no triggers. gender neutral. and I included the girls this time!! some of these can be read as platonic and others mention kisses / cuddles, implying you’re a couple. idk, I just work here. I’m really liking this format lately, and it’s (fairly) quick and easy so you can expect more of these in the future while I procrastinate all the girlfriendverse chapters and smut I have to write lol

First, the more studious of the bunch:

Brennan is all-in, no hesitation, pulling up a chair next to you and learning this with you for moral support, but also for fun (can you believe this guy?) though you suppose it’s easier to enjoy this if it doesn’t count for a grade. Either way, he’s a very nice study partner, and he encourages you to take breaks every hour / chapter / etc. Brings snacks, too.

Violet somehow already knows all of the material, and explains it better than the textbook or the professor. Walks things back if you don’t get it and gets into the why and how, which so many teachers skip over, even though it helps explain the what (pet peeve of mine showing here lol). 

Aaric’s study skills are unmatched -- years of the best private tutors money can buy really paid off. Teaches you new strategies that you’ve never heard of in your life, and when you ask, he admits a bit shyly that he came up with it himself, but it works, and you get it done in half the time you would have before. (work smarter, not harder, baby)

Rhiannon gives you the pep talk of your life (we all need a Rhiannon in our lives) and convinces you that you’ve got this. Packs you a little snack for the day of your exam with a little note reminding you that you know this, just breathe and think. 

Xaden sees you struggling and forces you to take a break. During said break, he’s reading the book himself and figuring out what exactly has you so stressed and exhausted. Breaks down the tasks into smaller, more manageable steps and guides you through it -- “find three reasons why XYZ happened.” done with that? “Now make them into paragraphs.” etc etc, and an hour later, you have a passable essay. 

Dain is taking this more seriously than you are, and his discipline is like no other; you’re not stopping until the work is done, or until midnight, whichever comes first (because sleep is important for the brain, or whatever. Definitely not just because he misses you and wants to cuddle). 

Garrick may have no idea what you’re talking about, but he suffers through it with you, offering to let you explain things to him, because teaching is a good way to test if you understand something. Though you get what you pay for -- he’s a total smartass about it, asking questions about the littlest details even if they’re common knowledge -- he’s gotta be thorough, right? 

Ridoc may be the class clown type, but he’s smarter than a lot of people think. He comes up with a bunch of jokes that actually help you remember things. Somehow manages to relate the most complex topic in your book to a sandwich, and it actually works. He’s incredibly smug about this for the rest of the week, especially when you get the highest score in the class (he’ll take payment in kisses, thank you.)

Bodhi makes flashcards with you, quizzing you and giving you a kiss if you get it right (this definitely is not a distraction, and things definitely don’t escalate from here, nope.) He’s also really good at proofreading essays, and gives excellent feedback regarding the structure and the order of the information.

Liam sits there with you all the while, completely silent, working on one of his wood carvings at the other end of the table, but you know he’s there and he’s watching -- and that provides a healthy amount of peer pressure and keeps you on task. He’s an incredibly observant person, and he can see the stress building; he knows when to intervene and suggest that you take a break.

Sloane is the best person to commiserate with. She doesn’t want to be doing this either, but she’s also incredibly stubborn, and she doesn’t give up; after a healthy amount of complaining, she’s forcing you both to keep trying until it works / until it’s done, and then you’re treating yourselves to something for getting it over with, because you deserve it.

Sawyer is gentle and supportive, having a heart-to-heart conversation with you and reminding you that yes, this is important, but the world will not stop turning if you fail one exam. He knows how it feels to be compared to his peers, especially in how long it takes you to accomplish something (poor bb) and doesn’t want you stressing yourself out about that, either. 

Imogen is the opposite, all tough love, giving you gentle but firm reminders: “you didn’t make it this far just to give up,”, “I know you can do this, so do it,” but she balances it out with tender affirmation when you’re done. She’ll even let you skip out on training for the day since you’ve been studying so hard (and she takes training seriously, so this is more of a reward than it seems). 

Mira’s default approach is similar to Imogen’s, but she can see that you’re reaching your limit and dials it back, being more gentle with you and doing whatever you need -- encouragement? someone to just sit there? help / explanation / etc? she’s got you covered. herds you into bed at a reasonable hour so you’ll be well rested for the classes and exams.

And all of them are incredibly proud of you for working so hard and getting good grades 🤍

[wolfytae-exe]

hi!! can u do a spiderman gyu smut^^?

Hey!! I can sure try! Cant guarantee it’ll be good-

————————————————————————

Genre: smut

Pairings: Spider-man!Beomgyu, Afab!Reader

Warnings: Manhandling, Degradation and Praise, Edging, Bondage, spitting, orgasm denial, overstimulation, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, squirting, facial, unprotected sex(wrap it before you tap it),creampie, mating press, forced orgasm, this was written on multiple occasions so if it sounds like a broken puzzle i apologize.

Note: unedited, i’ve been getting a lot of asks and i’m VERY behind LOL i need to catch up so i cant edit these after writing them. I kept procrastinating this im sorry- it might seem a bit rushed

Summary: in which you confront your boyfriend whose been hiding a secret from you for years

———————————————————————

You had been sitting in your bed for an hour waiting on your boyfriend to come over and spend some time with you. All you had gotten was a quick text from him telling you there was a ‘problem’.

You and Beomgyu have been dating for 2 years now, now both juniors in college, and he’s been keeping a secret from you the whole time. Not like you didn’t know his secret already, but when he would text you like this and call his crime fighting a ‘problem’ instead of straight up telling you he was Seoul’s very own spider-man you always felt your heart crack.

You know the man like the back of your hand and he still managed to not trust you enough to tell you. You’ve known since before you both even dated, your crush on him prominent before you even knew.

You would notice every time he wouldn’t show up to class, coming in late or missing lunch after watching a news recording on his phone. He always came back disheveled and flushed, like he had been running or working out. At first you had assumed he had sex a lot, always ditching class to get his dick wet.

But soon after that thought crossed your mind you caught him. You watched him take off the mask after throwing some petty robbers into prison. It only made your love for him grow, knowing he was so strong and brave enough to risk his life everyday just did something that made you fall for him harder than before.

Eventually you both began hanging out, he managed to keep his eye on you as well as being a hero and being top of his class. He really made you feel special that way so you always made sure to understand that when you have to wait for him, it’s okay because he’s saving lives.

As quickly as you fell into your thoughts you were dragged out of it by the sound of your phone ringing, notifying you that your boyfriend finally had a time of peace to come see you.

A smile was now stuck on your face, excited to see Beomgyu after a few days of him practically ghosting you. You quickly responded, throwing in a couple hearts out of excitement before hitting send.

—————

Half an hour has passed since Beomgyu sent you the text that he would be coming over. You’ve started to lose hope already, the food you made him,, your mothers tteokbboki recipe she gave you before you left for college,, was now cold.

As you began packing the food up back into the fridge you heard a knock. Closing the Tupperware of rice cakes you walked to the door, peeking into the peep hole just to find no one there. “what..?” you muttered before hearing a louder knock, this time behind you.

Slowly you looked behind you to the balcony your dorm was accompanied with. There was no way Beomgyu was coming in through your balcony right? You live on the 5th floor for fucks sake, this wasn’t really how he was going to tell you his secret right?

Your feet pattered against the floor as you made your way to the balcony, opening up the door with a confused look sketched all over your face, and there he was, Choi Beomgyu standing there with a bashful grin and annoyingly normal clothes. “Hi pretty.” He spoke with a slight rasp and whisker smile.

You just blinked, looking behind him at the drop of your balcony. “How did you get up here, Gyu?” You asked with faux confusion, more so wondering what he would say.

Beomgyu turned to look over his shoulder, peeking at the drop as well before looking back with a now nervous grin. “I- well- I climbed.” He admitted, unsure how to explain how he even did that.

His answer stunned you though, he just straight up told you. “How did you even do that, there’s nothing but balconies up here and it’s the fifth floor Gyu.” You called him out as he you gave him room to walk in and get his jacket off.

As Beomgyu walked in he took in your words trying to find an excuse. He only showed up on the balcony cause he forgot his spare keycard in his dorm, used to just jumping out his window whenever he’s needed by the police. “I sorta maybe forgot my keycard at my dorm.”

You rolled your eyes as you closed the balcony door. “Well no need to dwell. I made my mom’s tteokbboki, find a movie and i’ll heat it up.” You spoke, getting some pressure off his back as you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before making your way to the kitchen.

Beomgyu gave you a firm nod before making his way into your room. You proceeded to reheat the food you packed up already, thinking about whether to tell him you knew his secret or not.

Once the microwave announced that the food was ready you took it out, giving it a quick stir and grabbing some drinks before heading into your room. You were a little tense, mentally pushing yourself to tell him after keeping it from him all this time.

As you sat down, Beomgyu moved closer, helping you get settled on the bed with him. “So what movie did you pick?” you asked while passing him a soda can. Beomgyu happily took it from you, thanking you in the process before responding. “I picked that new spider-man movie, the new york spider-man everyone keeps making movies about.”

Beomgyu spoke with a tinge of jealousy. “Well he must be really good if he has this many movies.” You responded while fishing out a rice cake from the red sauce. “I like our spider-man more.” Beomgyu said firmly. With a giggle you nodded. “I like our spider-man more too.” You agreed, ignoring the way his face lit up in response.

Beomgyu reached for the remote to play the movie and you took a bite of the chewy and spicy meal, humming at the taste of it. After the movie began playing Beomgyu grabbed his chopsticks and went for the boiled egg at the bottom of the bowl, it was always his favorite part of the dish.

You watched through your top eyelashes as he practically scarfed down food. He must have grown an appetite from fighting. “Hungry Gyu?” You questioned him and he stiffened, pausing to actually chew and swallow his food before nodding. “I didn’t eat at all today.” he admitted as he grabbed more rice cakes and sauce.

You shook your head. “Why didn’t you eat?” You asked, half concerned and half scolding him. You knew the answer but if he wasn’t going to tell you, you might as well make him feel a little guilty about it. “Ah w-well..” He muttered, using his index finger to move his bangs out his eyes. “I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you.” He said with a pout.

You just stared, waiting. There was no way in hell he was going to come clean after all this time of leaving you in the dark. You watched as he lifted the sleeve of his hoodie. It seemed normal enough, but then he went and reached under the scrunched sleeve and pulled out the red sleeve of the suit, the iconic spider web design laced into it. No fucking way.

You just stared at it. Do you act shocked? Do you tell him that your knew? You were panicking. “I knew.” You muttered, looking back up just to freeze at the darkness in his eyes. You were expecting everything but that. “Since when?” Was all he said. He never let his satoori slip around you, he knew it sounded a bit harsh at times but in this point in time it seemed like he genuinely didn’t care, practically spitting it out harsher than it needed to be.

You frowned, not even wanting to answer his question. “Before we started dating.” You answered anyways, waiting for the harsh response to come in. But all that was given was a sigh and a soft “Why did you never tell me?” Your frown stayed however, knowing he was still upset. “I didn’t want to add on to your stress, being spider man is already hard enough without someone knowing your identity, why would i make it harder for you?” you answered with a question back, knowing there was no answer.

“Show me..?” You asked, leaning forward into him a bit more. Slowly but surely Beomgyu turned his wrists upward, the small holes in his wrists were barely noticeable, opening and closing with his heart beat only slightly. You watched as he reached across your room for your unplugged lava lamp. Nothing happened for a moment and you just looked at him, finally realizing he was staring at you. “You really knew for that long?” He questioned you again but all you did was nod, watching his wrists once more.

You had expected his to throw his hands into those iconic spider-man signs but instead he kept it open, flexing his forearm for a second before the webs came shooting out to the lava lamp, sticking to it immediately as he pulled it back to you both and catching it with one hand. You flinched at how close it got to your face but calmed down when you registered you were safe.

Slowly you reached over to touch the webs as he set down the lava lamp, it was thin and stringy, sticky and elastic. “So cool..” You muttered as you dragged a thumb over the holes against a wrist, jumping back when you heard him let out a noise. “Did that hurt? I’m sorry, Gyu!” You apologized ferociously, panicked that you had went too far.

Beomgyu just laughed at you. “ I liked it.. Felt good, I never had anyone touch my spinnerets before.” He admitted with a small blush to his ears. “Then may I?” You asked this time, unsure if he would be fine with it or not. Once he gave you a firm nod you went back, pressing a finger on the pulsating holes. You slightly grazed your nail over it and felt beomgyu squirm.

“Does it really feel that good?” You asked him, raising a brow. All he did was hum in response, a tight lipped nod following. “do the webs only shoot out fast? oh my god do you eat insects?” You threw questions at him left and right, now curious about how much of him is spider.

Beomgyu just snorted. “I eat like a normal human being Y/N, I’m not a complete spider. and my webs have always come out fast, sometimes there’s a blockage sometimes where they won’t come out at all but they’re never slow.” He answered tugging at his bottom lip as you kept running you thumb over the holes, fascinated. You never got to see them before, it’s all so new to you.

Beomgyu soon let out a whimper when you wouldn’t let up on his spinnerets. “Y-Y/N..” He whined and clutched his hand into a fist, not wanting to rip his hand from you because of the sensitivity all while trying not to make it so known he we slowly getting aroused by the feeling.

Eventually you pulled back, noticing how he was panting, practically begging for air. “Was that too much? I’m sorry I’ll calm down.” You said, now wondering how good it must feel if he’s reacting this way. It didn’t take long to figure it out however. Your eyes glanced down for a moment only to double take onto his gray sweat pants, specifically his crotch, a small patch darker than the rest in a tattletale manner that the superhero was leaking precome ready to cum in his pants untouched, not to mention the bulge that accompanied this small spot.

Beomgyu saw your eyes, flushing in embarrassment. “I- I didn’t know that would happen Y/N. I swear-“ He tried to explain himself, cheeks red. You cut him off however, placing a finger on his lips before leaning down to his wrist where the holes rested.

Once your finger moved he questioned you. “What are you do- ah fuck-“ He gasped out as you licked over the holes. Wanting to see just how sensitive he could get. The reaction was good enough for you so have another lick over the hole and blew on it, letting the cold air cause him to shiver.

The feeling went straight to Beomgyus cock, making him buck his hips at the pleasure. “That really does rile you up, Gyu.” You said with a smirk, dragging your lips up his arm to his shoulder, then to his neck, jaw, cheeks, and finally his lips.

Food and movie now forgotten you crawled into his lap, his arms immediately pulling you in at the waist as you explored each others mouths, teeth scraping each other and tongues covering every area of your mouths. Soon enough he pulled off, both you guys catching your breath as he lifted your chin up, you being a bit smaller in his lap allowed him to sink you down enough to fully look over you.

Beomgyu lifted your chin, holding your mouth open with his thumb on your bottom lip before spitting into it. “Swallow it.” He said with a growl and you did, a hum following before you both went back in, your hand going straight to his sweats, palming and gripping his cock through it. You guys were never really aggressive when it came to sex or foreplay, but with the way Beomgyu initiated this and the way you teased him you just knew this was going to be fun.

Eventually you both broke apart, filling your lungs back up before Beomgyu quite literally tore off your shirt, grabbing it by the hem and ripping it into two just to get to your breasts. With a moan you let him grope you, feeling his cold hands glide over your bra before lifting it up and exposing your breasts and hard nipples.

Beomgyu was usually soft and vanilla with you, gentle and calm but tonight it’s like he snapped, a whole new person. “God I should just stick you to this wall and have my fun.” You hear him mutter into your chest. “Fuck, Gyu-“ You whine as he starts sucking on your nipples, let them harden in his mouth and grow more sensitive.

Once your nipple is hard and you’re squirming in his lap he lets go, taking off his own shirt before pulling off your shorts and underwear in one go. You’re helping by unclipping your bra and going for his pants, which he slaps your hand away and picks you up. You let out a yelp as he quite literally manhandles you.

Once you both are off the bed he’s pinning you to the wall, his bigger hands over your smaller ones, keeping them above your head. All you could do was look at him, surprised more than anything that he was going through with his thoughts.

At some point in you staring at him he flips you to face the wall, mushing your head against it as he webbed your hands in place. It was sticky but soft at the same time, like a silk glove that was wet before being worn.

You tried to wiggle out, testing the strength of his webs for yourself and you didn’t even budge, completely stuck to the wall. You whined as you struggled to see him but it didn’t last long because you felt his hands on your hips pulling you back into an arch, ass out and hands stuck to the wall. Once he let go you were about to move but felt more webs stick you down, unable to move out of this uncomfortable position.

“Shhh just let me use your pretty hole baby, don’t worry i’ll make sure you get to cum.” he whispers into your ear, running a cold finger down your bare back, giving you a quick shiver that ran all the way down to your cunt. You feel him pull away and try to turn your head but your arms blocked from your sight.

soon you hear him shuffling, you can’t pin point what he’s doing so you whine, wiggling your ass to him in an attempt to fuck you already. Your skin was already burning up at this point, feeling hot under his silky webs.

“So impatient..” You hear him whisper before letting out a moan, taunting you. What is he doing? His he just getting off and leaving you here. You can’t see what he’s doing and it’s driving you mad.

That feeling went away however when you felt something wet rub against your folds. “A-ah~ Gyu please don’t tease.” You mumble as he hums, enjoying your wet folds on his cock. After a minute of back and forth rubbing he pushed through, You were so wet, so warm, so tight. A moan slipped from you and your head fell forward, caught by the wall you were of so close to.

As soon as he bottomed out he began fucking you, hands on your waist like you were some fuck toy for him to get off with. Whatever you had done to him had him in a haze, slowly his hands left you, fucking you with no hands as you followed his thrusts back anyways and brought his wrists up to his mouth, breath fanning over the holes as he pounded into your cunt. His heart was racing like he had taken aphrodisiacs.

“Fuck what did you do to me.” He muttered before licking at the holes that were pulsating with his heart. The feeling did nothing but travel straight to his cock, twitching hard inside you as he bucked harder. Your legs were trembling, unable to handle how aggressive he was being. The pace was unforgiving and the knot in your stomach was tightening painfully.

Just as you let out a whine, knowing you were gonna cum he pulled out. Your hips fell back into nothing but air and your heat clenched around itself angrily at the denied orgasm. “Why-“ You begin, protesting at the loss of your pleasure only to yelp in sensitivity as beomgyu comes back, his fingers on your clit.

You bucked into his fingers, he knew your body like the front and back of his hand, you always felt the most pleasure in your clit, being fingered didn’t do much for you unless it was his doing the work. “You did this to me, Y/N.” He panted, the speed of his fingers rubbing you building your orgasm right back up. All you could do was shift weight on different feet to try an get away, the pleasure was too much for you to handle, but that didn’t stop him from chasing your clit.

Soon your voice was so loud Beomgyu was sure you’d end up with several noise complaints. You, on the other hand, couldn’t even hear yourself anymore, only able to hear your heartbeat and ringing. Beomgyu watched the way your cunt clenched around itself, threatening to release more juices than it already had dripping out.

“Almost there, doll.” He hummed before dropping to his knees, fingers leaving you to start crying in frustration. You were impatient and in pain from the constant denial. Beomgyu watched your heat drip more and more pleasure, almost as a lure for him to come back. Luckily for you, he did, lips to lips he licked stripes up your cunt before completely going in.

His hands held you by your waist to keep your squirming to a minimum before he took your clit into his mouth, tongue rubbing in figure 8’s with no abandon. “O-Oh” Was all your brain could let out, Beomgyu loved eating you out, if he could live life with you attached to his face he would.

Your legs trembled at the feeling of his hot tongue making out with your lower half, you could feel his nose rubbing against your heat, prodding and teasing you further. Whimpers and moans mixed with the sound of Beomgyu lewdly slurping up your cunt like it’s his sole purpose was all that could be heard, along with the occasional “You taste so fucking good” he’d mutter against you in a pussy drunk haze.

Your position left Beomgyu frustrated at some point, wanting you flipped, so he left your cunt and stood up, wrapping an arm around your waist before reaching to your hands and ripping off the webs you struggled with, with ease. Your arms fell and your upper half with it, but Beomgyu tightened his grip so you only slouched and rubbed off the webs that stuck your feet in place with his own. Once you were free you were being thrown back onto the bed, completely avoided the half empty bowl of food.

Beomgyu followed your body to the bed, looking at the food in the corner of his eye before quickly slinging a web to the top that rested next to it and pulling it towards him. Catching the top with one hand as he crawls over you he pushes the lid onto the bowl before putting it on the nightstand. In the meantime you were whining and trying to get friction from his hard on as he crawled on top of you.

Once he felt it was safe to continue, and not in fear of staining everything with tteokbboki sauce he went back down, grabbing your thighs as he pulled you to the edge of the bed. Your legs opened fast, wanting him back to finish you off. “So impatient” He teased, knowing damn well he was edging you on purpose.

You let out another whine as he kissed your inner thigh, hands gripping your knees to keep you from shutting your legs on his face, not that he’d mind. His kisses fluttered from your knee to your bikini line before he placed a few kisses on your clit. You squeaked as you felt him slowly trace kisses from the hood of your clit to licking the ball of nerves.

Your hands, now free, shot down to his hair, intertwining your fingers into it before pulling when he flattened his tongue on your folds. Slowly he built up your orgasm again, kissing and slurping your arousal. He wanted you to cum just as much as you did, he wanted nothing more than to taste your pleasure as a reward for treating him so well, keeping his secret, and well he just loved to eat you out too.

His tongue teased your entrance a few times before pushing in. Your grip on his hair only tightening as you pulled his face in, grinding on his nose and suffocating him. Beomgyu was loving every bit of it, he took a hand off your knee and plunged his middle and ring finger into the wet throbbing hole after moving back up to your clit. “Oh-“ you let out. The sound were oh so lewd, making your heart pound even harder.

Quickly, your arousal soaked his fingers as he curled them up, hitting your g-spot with the pads of his fingers. “Oh god- Fuck Gyu.” You pant, arching yourself into him in hopes he quicken the speed. The feeling of your cunt in his mouth and his fingers in you had you severely overwhelmed, so sensitive from the failed orgasms, you were scared he was going to stop again so you held him tighter, grinding even harder into his face.

You orgasm snuck up on you, crashed over you before you knew it. Your legs shook and you mouth hung open into a silent scream as you seen stars, not even aware at the fact that you squirted in your boyfriends mouth, pulling him into and keeping him there to take it all. The feeling left you numb, you were dizzy and your body was buzzing.

“Fuck..” You heard Beomgyu in a muffled voice, slightly gargled. You slowly came back, letting him go little by little with heavy pants before looking down at him. Your thighs were soaked, along with his bangs and his lips and chin, some even making it to his cheeks and nose. A small groan rumbled from him as he came on himself, reacting to your orgasm.

“We aren’t done.” Beomgyu said, slurring over his pussy drunk haze. The hero pulled himself up and pulled you even closer, planting his hips in between yours before he slammed into you. A groan fell from him and a scream fell from you, overstimulated to hell because of him. “G-G Fuck Gyu- A-Ah~” You tried to pull him off, struggling to keep your legs open for him as you clit throbbed painfully.

Beomgyu only responded by closing your legs and pressing your knees to your chest, holding you into a mating press as he fucked into your gummy walls. “You’re so tight- So perfect for my cock.” He rambled as he slammed his hips into yours, pausing for a second to rut into you deep and hard before pulling out almost all the way and slamming back in. Your eyes rolled back as he leaned his head next to yours, licking the shell before whispering dirty words into them. Before you knew it, your orgasms aligned with one hit to your cervix and a matched groan left you both.

Beomgyu slowed down, moving back to rutting against your clit as he pumped his cum deep into you, practically breeding you as the tip of his cock kissed your cervix, begging to get you pregnant. Slowly Beomgyu pulled out, letting a long moan fall from his lips while you whined. His cock coated in both your cum, a ring around the base of his cock from the constant rutting and his cum came oozing out onto the sheets as he fully slipped out.

“Let’s get you cleaned up baby.” He panted, fighting another boner at the sight. You, however, didn’t hear him; completely passed out from the strength of both orgasms. “Fuck.” He muttered before pulling you up into his arms. “Ill have to clean you up myself.” He whispered before planting a kiss to your sweaty forehead and making his way to your dorm bathroom.

———————

im sorry this took so long to get out😭

I’ve been swamped with work.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

[Not] Guilty Part 2

Part 1 

A few people expressed interest in this becoming a series. I had a storyline for it when I made the first ‘chapter’. I do warn you guys though I will probably be slow to post. I have a hard time when I feel like I have to write the next chapter of something. Not to mention I am currently packing (and procrastinating packing by writing) to move from Michigan to Tennessee for my new post-grad job!  

This is not a spoiler because I hinted heavily (told you really) at it at the end of the first chapter, but I did want to warn everyone- this has the ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY TROPE. For those of you who do not like those stories, you have been warned. The case is mentioned in this story but is not its main focus, but what will become of the reader and Sonny’s relationship. (I may change the name because it implies otherwise.)  

Warnings- mentions of sex abuse, physical abuse, prison violence, suicide and accidental pregnancy trope (just in case you missed it ^)

Thank you for reading that really long author's note <3

The breakup should be harder on you. It was the longest relationship you had been in. The nervousness you had felt when you had crept up to the six-month marker and the kiss of death to every relationship you had ever had. It had come in like a lion, with you causing fights waiting for the inevitable, and out like a lamb when Sonny realized what the problem was. He had maturely communicated that he had no intent in letting you go. It had been smooth sailing for the most part after that. The relief you had felt when it all just seemed to work out. You guys were just a few weeks away from the year mark.  

The end was as abrupt as your cousin Randy’s arrest. The betrayal of Sonny going after him without any regard to you. Then the attempted railroading from him to you of Randy’s guilt. The whole thing had left you cold and numb.  

You knew Dominick Carisi was a good lawyer and now he could be the one to put Randy away for life. On a charge you were sure he didn’t commit. You hadn’t seen him much since the day you refused to let him into your apartment. You only saw him during court proceedings or meetings with him and Randy’s defense lawyer. Not that he hadn’t tried. He had called, texted, and stopped by your apartment frequently during the first few weeks. You were sure he thought that you were just overacting and that you would come to see the light of your cousin’s misdoings. Process and then accept what was going on. The only difference was you knew deep in your soul that your cousin wasn’t guilty. You wouldn't let anyone railroad you into thinking anything differently.  

Not even a man you loved. 

You had been actively avoiding him and any emotion that he provoked. You tried to ignore that you were a hot mess. The stress and emotional strain caused constant fatigue and churning in your stomach which had a tendency to make you sick. You had been trying to take care of everything for the case and still work overtime to continue paying your bills and for Randy’s pricy lawyer. You had even tried to get the money to bail Randy out, but Sonny had asked for an outrageous bond that even combined your working-class family couldn’t afford. You had tried to make up for it by putting money in his commissary and visiting once a week. Randy assured you he was okay, but it didn’t help make you feel better. Especially, when you saw the black eye and cut lip on your last visit.  

Today was court and it was Randy’s turn to testify. You sat there in support of him and tried not to wince or shift uncomfortably as years of family secrets were let loose in open court. It was to help show Randy’s character the lawyer had explained. It was smart but you didn’t have to like listening to it.  

Randy testified to his mental health issues. His bipolar that left him manic and on top of the world one day and then so depressed he couldn’t get out of bed the next. He went on to talk about the sexual and physical abuse he had received at the hands of his own father. How he had used substance to numb himself. He was in tears when he talked about how he could never hurt someone like he had been hurt. He would rather put a bullet in his head.  

He had tried to skirt around the question about his uncle. But when he was pressed, he talked about how he had witnessed the brutal murder of his father at his uncle's hands when he had found out and then watched his uncle be arrested and put in prison. How he had been put on multiple 72-hour psych holds in the years following. Listening to it all was hard and made you want to curl up in a corner and sob. It was heartbreaking to listen to. Randy looked and sounded believable- like a victim himself who deserved empathy.  

Sonny turned in his seat to look at you. You were only able to maintain eye contact for only a few seconds. It had been long enough to see the understanding in his eyes. The almost audible clicking of all the puzzle pieces of your life that you dodged around or refused to talk about when you were together were finally coming together for him. You could also see the frustration at you not being honest with him and him being blindsided in open court. 

When recess was called until Monday you had to keep yourself from running out of the courthouse and instead force yourself to walk at a normal pace. You couldn’t face any of the SVU detectives that you were once close to. You hear your name called and your body freezes without your permission. A Staten Island accent thickened with emotion. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

You can’t even turn back to look at him. You feel exhausted as you say. “You didn’t want to listen.” 

≪ °❈° ≫ 

You return to court four days later, and there is something strange brewing in the courtroom. You can feel it in the air. You can see it. There is no jury and the courtroom is empty. The rest happens in a blur. ADA Dominick Carisi stands up and tells the judge they had found further evidence over the weekend and they wanted to drop all charges, except for possession. They offered a deal on time served. You felt the tears rush down your face in disbelief. 

You find yourself in the hallway and a hand touches your shoulder from behind. You turn around to see Olivia Benson. “For what it is worth, I’m sorry.” Her face is sincere but all you could hear in your mind was the echoing of her words to you of his guilt and how it was normal to be in denial. It could take a while for your mind to be able to comprehend that someone you know, and love is capable of such malicious intent. “For all the trouble and for all this has cost you.” Even in your haze, you knew she wasn’t talking about the money you had put into Randy’s defense. “With his DNA in her apartment and on that blunt we really thought-” 

“Sharing weed with a woman doesn’t mean you're going to rape and kill her.” Your words are bitter and distant even to your own ears. 

“Of course not,” Olivia paused gathering her thoughts. 

“What happened? What did you guys find?”  

“Well, we went back over the timeline. We had a hard time believing Randy because when we interviewed him, he didn’t even know where he had been for most of the night.” You knew he had been hopped up on some pretty strong stuff that night. “Do you know the cemetery a couple of blocks from where we arrested him?” You felt like a bolt of lightning had struck through you. You did in fact know it. It was where his older brother had been buried after he committed suicide at twenty. “There was a security camera there that had been installed because of some teenager destroying headstones. It shows Randy there hours before Mary Moore’s death to hours after it. He slept there all night actually.” 

You huff out a laugh. Thomas was Randy’s older brother by almost ten years. He, out of the three sons, had taken the worst of the abuse from their father. He had protected Randy and the youngest David until the moment he had ended it all, but it seemed even death couldn’t stop him from protecting his younger brother. 

You see Randy getting released, a bag of belongings in his hand and you start to head over to him completely forgetting that you had been in a conversation with the detective. You are only reminded when you hear her voice raise slightly as she says, “You know, Carisi is the one that started looking back at the timeline. He is the reason this case was dropped.” You freeze feeling something twist in your stomach. An emotion that you don’t want to deal with in this happy moment. 

“It doesn’t change anything.”  

You stride to Randy’s side and hug. You weren’t allowed to touch him when you were visiting him in lockup. He clings to you burying his face into your neck and you can feel the hot tears against your neck. “Thank you. Thank you so much for never giving up on me.” You hug him tighter feeling your own tears roll down your cheeks.  

≪ °❈° ≫ 

You were sitting back at the apartment curled up on the couch wrapped in a blanket as Randy was spending an ungodly amount of time in the bathroom. You smiled to yourself, just happy that he was home. Even if he was back to crashing on your couch. He joined on the couch, hair still wet from his shower. He leaned back into the cushions with a sigh. The two of you sat in silence processing all that had happened in the last four months.  

“I found a rehab program when I was locked up. It focuses on people with mental health issues like my bipolar. I called and they said they had a spot open for me. Someone ran out. Good luck, huh?” You laugh shaking your head.  

“Good to know you still have your positivity streak.” You lay back feeling absolutely exhausted. You had been having a fatigue that just wouldn’t go away. “I think it's a good idea though. It would be good for you to get that settled. Your being off and on your meds hasn't been helping. I just want you to be happy, and have a real chance at the life you deserve.”  

“Yeah, I know. I hope you know I appreciate everything you have done for me. Everything that you have had to sacrifice.” You say his name, but he cuts you off, “No, really Chickadee. All these years, you didn’t have to do any of it. Without you, I would have been dead or locked up three times over by now.” You reach out and start running your finger through his hair. “It’ll probably be good for you to have to space anyways.” 

“I don’t mind you sleeping on my couch.” You assure him. 

“I know, but with you being pregnant and all. I’m sure you-” 

“I’m sorry about me being what?” Randy doesn’t miss a beat. 

“Oh, come on Chickadee. I know you were trying not to make a big deal out of it because of everything that was going on but-” You shake your head at him, laughing. 

“Randy, I’m not pregnant.” The finality in your voice makes him turn his position to face you more fully. He quirks an eyebrow at you. 

“Are you sure about that?” His tone is one of disbelief as he eyes your form. You smack his shoulder saying his name loudly. “Well, I would check into that, anyhow. You know with the fatigue, upset stomach, morning sickness, and with how big those things have gotten.” He gestures to your breast with a wave of his hand.  

You look down at them and feel your mind starting to spiral as you try to think of the last time you had a period. You bite your thumb as you realize it was before the case had started. While it wasn’t uncommon for you to skip when you were stressed out, that was a considerable amount of time. “Alright, I’m kicking you out of my bed. I haven’t had a good night's sleep in almost four months.” Randy didn’t seem to notice your mind spinning. He thought that you were still just messing around with him. He had no idea the can of worms he had just opened in your head. 

You stood up numbly as he started making the couch his makeshift bed. Then flopping onto it with a content sigh. You say nothing as you go to grab your purse and head toward the drug store a block over.   

[angstywaifu]

Reunited

Little bit of a short one today. But this one came from a prompt for Garrick with a Gryphon Rider. But I feel like despite how short it is, its still quite cute. Enjoy!

Garrick Tavis x Gryphon Rider Reader

The trek to Aretia was tough. My gryphon was not made for the higher altitudes. And I was one of the lucky ones who had one who had a higher tolerance to the higher altitude. I’d hate to think how those further behind are doing.

I tried to keep my mind focused on the journey still ahead of us but I couldn’t help my mind from wandering to Garrick. Would he be there? Was he alive? Xaden would have said something if he wasn’t alive. It had been so long since I had seen him at one of the supply drop offs. Since he had been sent to Samara, it was harder for him to get away as often as Xaden. Every time Xaden came though he gave me a letter from Garrick, and I would give him one to take back in return. We had started after Garrick couldn’t make multiple trips in a row. And sadly the tradition hadn’t ended since it started. It had been months since I had seen him. I hadn’t seen since him Athebyne.

Would he be waiting for me? Had Xaden told him about the deal that was made? Part of me hoped he would be waiting for me as I arrived. As we break through the clearing, Xaden and a few other riders are waiting for us. My heart sinks as I don’t see Garrick amongst them. I busy myself with getting my pack of my Gryphon and go to follow after the other riders. I had procrastinated enough that I was one of the last ones. As I walk past Syrena and the riders Xaden looks up and catches my eye. He smiles and motions with his head to get going. Almost in a way that tells me I should hurry. He must be here.

I step within the walls of Aretia. I had never been here, with how much I had heard from Garrick, I felt as if I had been. I felt as if I could walk these halls and know where everything was. Knowing my luck I would get lost though. There was probably so much Garrick hadn’t been able to tell me. I dump my pack in my room and decide to go explore. Maybe, just maybe I would see him wandering the halls. Or maybe I was unlucky again and he wasn’t here. Out on a patrol or something. But the urgency in Xaden’s nod had suggested other wise. Garrick was here.

As I walk the halls I am met with mixed looks from the riders. Confusion on how the hell I know where to go, and also hate and distain. You couldn’t get ride of generations worth of hate. We’d all be taught to hate each other our entire lives. Only those involved on the supply runs would be accepting of us Gryphon riders to start with.

I around to see I’ve come to an intersection in a hall way. With a painting Garrick had described to me perfectly in one of his letters, to the point I had felt like I had seen it before. As if I’m being pulled by force I follow the hallway down to the right, towards a flight of stairs. Stairs that would lead up to a tower Garrick would frequent when he wanted time to himself. Another bit of information he had told me in his letters. I don’t know how I knew, but I knew he would be there. I sprint up the stairs as fast as I can, so fast its a miracle I don’t trip over my own feet on the way up. Each step brings me closer to Garrick. I get to the top and walk through the arch way, but no one is here. My shoulders slump in defeat. I had been so sure he would be here. But then a familiar smell washes over me, and a familiar pair of strong arms spin me around into a bone crushing hug. I don’t even have to look up to see it’s him as I wrap my arms around his torso. Neither of us dares to brake away from the embrace. Just taking comfort in the fact both of us were here and finally together. And after months apart, this is all we needed.

[eevylynn]

WolfTok

Sterek || E|| Booktoker AU || 2518 wc (1/3)

Stiles is shocked to discover that Derek moonlights as a Booktoker. What he finds even more shocking is the discovery that Derek uses it to promote his smutty books it writes under a pseudonym.

Yeah, we’re just going to pretend that TikTok was a thing during Teen Wolf time. Don’t think too hard about this.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It started unsurprisingly: Stiles was procrastinating doing his essay by doomscrolling on TikTok. He had probably wasted almost half an hour of countless videos of ADHD hacks, the latest dance trend, a few badass women wielding various medieval weaponry, and some weirdly satisfying carpet cleaning videos.

After liking a neat heart-healthy recipe that he’s thinking of trying sometime soon, Stiles scrolled on to the next video.

The first thing he registered was SKIN.

Then, to the beat of the latest trending thirst trap song, the shot zoomed out to show a shirtless man from his large, corded shoulders down past his rippling abs, reading some book that Stiles had seen mentioned by countless women on booktok before.

The camera panned up, revealing more until—

“Holy. Shit.”

It was Derek Hale.

Stiles froze, his thumb hovering above the screen as his brain struggled to catch up with what he was seeing. Derek, perfectly disheveled with stubble framing his jaw and brows furrowed in concentration, was reading the book. His kaleidoscope eyes swept across the page as if genuinely engrossed in the story.

Looking at the bottom of the screen, Stiles saw the username @ howlinghemingway.

Well, shit.

Forget his essay, this discovery was much more important. It wasn’t like his essay was even due tomorrow. Stiles still had a week to work on it. Besides, the longer he puts it off, the harder the ADHD procrastination adrenaline will hit, and it’ll probably still be one of the best in class.

With that in mind, Stiles clicked the username to see what other videos Derek had posted as he stood up from his desk chair to make himself comfortable in his bed before he dived on in.

Each video drew him deeper into the rabbit hole. There were videos of Derek discussing plot twists, sharing his favorite steamy scenes, giving writing tips, all while showing Derek in various states of undress while recommending different books. Books Stiles didn’t even know Derek knew about much less owned. Stiles was mesmerized by the way Derek’s sharp cheekbones caught the light, the way his jaw clenched while talking about a particularly gripping part of a story.

One video in particular caught Stiles’ attention. Derek was casually lounging in what Stiles recognized as the library in pack house, the same location as most of Derek’s videos . He was dressed in grey sweatpants and a soft burgundy sweater. Stiles can’t remember ever seeing Derek look so damned soft. That sweater even had thumbholes! Thumbholes! Derek in thumbholes was a level of cozy Stiles wasn’t emotionally prepared for.

But that wasn’t the real kicker.

Derek held up a hardcover novel, his thumb grazing over the title: Crimson Moon by Samuel Blackwolf. Stiles squinted at the screen, confused for a second, until Derek’s smooth voice filled the air.

“Imagine ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ meets ‘Hamlet’, but way steamier. ‘Crimson Moon’ continues Cyrus and Rowan’s forbidden romance. An ancient curse threatens their bond, all while they uncover Cyrus’s dark family secrets. And yes, it’s as spicy as ever,” Derek said, grinning salaciously. “Think forbidden love, secret rendezvous, and intense passion. Unlock the secrets yourself.”

Stiles’ jaw dropped.

Derek Hale, brooding werewolf extraordinaire, was not only a BookToker, but also a secret smut author with multiple books published?!

WHAT?

Stiles could hardly believe it. His fingers trembled as he opened his Kindle app and quickly searched for Samuel Blackwolf . In seconds, he had downloaded the first book, Wicked Shadows .

A half hour later, Stiles was hooked. The book was more than just spicy.

It was flaming hot!

The first steamy scene was barely 50 pages in, and Stiles couldn’t help but notice how much Cyrus reminded him of Derek. Soft, guarded, vulnerable. There was something about the way the character's inner strength was hidden behind layers of quiet intensity, the way he spoke few words but conveyed everything with his actions. It was impossible not to draw the parallels—Cyrus had Derek written all over him, not just emotionally but physically too. Dark, unruly hair, sharp jawline, broad shoulders, and those intense eyes that seemed to see right through you.

Stiles shifted uncomfortably in his chair, trying to push down the heat rising in his chest. How had he never noticed this before? He read on, his fingers gripping his phone a little tighter, his heart pounding in his ears.

And then there was Rowan. Brash, witty, relentless. Rowan was everything Stiles saw in himself, but dialed up to 100. Physically, it was like looking into a mirror—messy hair, wiry build, constantly moving, always restless. But the way Rowan bantered with Cyrus, the way he needled and teased him to get a reaction, to crack that serious exterior, that was pure Stiles. Rowan didn't just push boundaries; he shattered them. And if Cyrus reminded Stiles of Derek, then Rowan was like Stiles with the filter torn off, laying it all bare without hesitation.

It was jarring, almost too much. Was Derek...writing about them? Stiles' heart skipped a beat as his mind spiraled, the scene unfolding in his head as vividly as if he were watching it play out in real life. Every word, every heated glance, felt like an echo of the moments he shared with Derek—the teasing, the stolen looks, the tension that buzzed between them when they were close.

Stiles swallowed hard, his eyes flicking back to the screen. The scene was getting more intense, the chemistry between the two characters palpable. Every touch, every kiss, every word felt loaded with more meaning than just fiction. And all he could think about was Derek. Did Derek know what he was doing?

Before he knew it, Stiles’ hand slipped beneath the waistband of his pajama pants. He couldn’t help it. The sex, the tension, even the way Rowan took care of Cyrus after absolutely railing him—was too much. Stiles groaned into the crook of his arm as he came, his mind still filled with images of Derek as Cyrus and himself as Rowan.

Post-orgasm, Stiles lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Holy hell. What had he just discovered? He wasn’t sure how to process the fact that Derek, his Derek, had written all of that. He was even less sure what it meant that he had gotten off to it.

But there was no way Stiles could ignore this. Nope. Not ever.

[continue reading on ao3]

[crackedpumpkin]

|| ɪɴꜰᴜʀɪᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴇʟᴏᴅɪᴇꜱ || ꜱᴏᴜʟᴍᴀᴛᴇ! ᴀᴜ ||

a/n: guess who procrastinated and ended up writing a thing :) 

In all seriousness I’m a complete and utter simp for Cole Brookstone and he is unreasonably attractive in looks personality and everything in between, especially for a goddamn lego man.

Playlist reference: https://youtu.be/j45ogZNaCis

Soulmate AU: Everyone has a soulmate designated to them since the moment they’re born. The tell-tale sign to single them out are the fact that you can hear what songs the other is listening to at any moment of the day.

Ugh. Not this again.

You groan, sitting up as the all-too-familiar sound of soft rock starts playing in the back of your mind. You shake your head slightly to rid the grogginess threatening to lull you back into comforting sleep.

You grab your headphones, immediately sliding them onto your ears as the soothing sound of chill pop music quickly drowns out the soft rock. On the bright side, it means that your soulmate exists.

On the other hand, it also means that whoever they are, they get up at ungodly hours of the day.

You stare blearily at the digital clock.

Five AM. 

You'd gotten used to the routine by now, but the days when your soulmate slept in were few and far between. Nonetheless, it's surprisingly boosted your productivity since the music started playing a couple months ago. 

"Stop it already!" 

You grumble, grabbing a pillow and covering your face with it. You press your face harder into the soft material, willing with all your might for the music to stop.

It'd been three days since it had started, and you abhorred every second. 

It was annoying, repetitive, and not your preferred genre at all.

You'd seen many compatible couples with similar music tastes, so why was your soulmate so adamant about having such lousy taste in tunes? Feeling bitter, you decide to drown it out with a playlist of your own. It was custom-made by you, and it took you ages(half a year, to be exact) to put it together.

It was a compilation of your favourite songs and the exact opposite of your soulmate's preference. You knew it annoyed them because every time you played a specific song they hated, they'd play something else you usually shut out in the first three seconds by aggressively playing the music they disliked on repeat.

It took a while, but you had finally called a truce(for now) with your soulmate by playing one of their favourite songs, and they begrudgingly did the same for you in return. 

Your friends were weirded out when you first revealed that you hated your soulmate's music taste. Obviously, they had never faced that issue. You were met with confused questions, your friends clueless and oblivious that people could dislike their soulmates. 

It was a foreign concept, but it was one that you were living. 

At first, you were excited that you could finally hear the songs your soulmate liked to listen to. 

That same excitement soon morphed into disdain for the genre they listened to. 

Now, you survey the bedroom you're in, taking note of all the scattered cardboard boxes. They were filled to the brim with various items of yours, some containing knick-knacks you've picked up randomly off the streets or in night markets. 

"Are you ready to go?" You turn your attention to your mother entering your room. She eyes the mess with a disapproving gaze, and you smile weakly. "I'll clear it up before the moving vans come?" You negotiate, hoping to escape an earful after getting out of bed so early.

She sighs. "Fine, but make it quick." She leaves the room with a pointed glare, shutting the door behind her. You sigh in relief, grabbing a roll of duct tape from your dresser and taping the boxes shut. You grab a marker and label each box with the contents inside.

 It took a while, but you were finally done. You wipe the sweat off your brow, glancing around at the now neatly packed and stacked boxes, arranging the last one in front of you. You grab the bag you had packed the night before, all the necessities inside. By now, the music from your soulmate had stopped playing(thank god for that), and you were halfway through your playlist. 

"Ready to go?" Your dad calls from outside. 

"Yeah, coming down in a sec!" You yell back, standing in the doorway. You look back at your room. The gentle sunlight shining through the bare windows breathed life into the room and the curtains that once decorated the small window seat. Where your bed once sat was empty with the polished mahogany wood underneath. 

Endless nights of laying in your plush bed with your bedside lamp's dim yet warm glow seemed so distant in your memories. Your hand lingers on the doorknob, mumbling a soft goodbye before shutting the door and heading downstairs to where your parents are waiting.

"Are your friends not seeing you off?" You're immediately greeted with a question as soon as you shut the car door, sitting in the back. You look up to see your dad looking at you with a raised brow, waiting patiently for your answer. You pause the music, and the sweet sound of silence greets your ears.

"Yeah, we already said our goodbyes yesterday." You reply with a shrug. Alicia and the rest of your friends brought you out for dinner at the pizza place you often frequented, and you spent the night giggling and reminiscing past memories. 

They dropped you off at two AM, and you snuck into the house without anyone noticing. Your friends had made you promise to text often, and you'd definitely update them as soon as you reached Ninjago City. 

Your dad seems satisfied with your answer and starts driving off. 

Your phone beeps and you pull it out to see messages from your friends. 

'Send souvenirs! Or face my wrath when we meet up again.' - Alicia

'Brooo' - Brenden, image.jpeg attached.

'Call when you reach! And make sure you drink plenty of water, you dehydrated fungus.' - Nico

You giggle at the messages, opening up the group chat to see a short video they filmed in the morning before school. You slide your headphones onto your ears, pressing play.

"Yo, have a safe trip or whatever!" Brenden's black hair is frizzy and unkempt, a clear sign that Alicia had probably dragged him out of bed for this. He's shoved aside, and the phone is grabbed, a familiar face coming close to the camera. 

"Nico, she can't see your face properly if you hog the camera!" Alicia complains, grabbing Nico by her coat and snatching the phone away. A head of red hair comes into view, a stark contrast to the shy brunette beside her. 

"Bring souvenirs!! I heard that the candy over there is to die for." Alicia demands with a bright grin, and you roll your eyes. 

"Guys, Ms. Fergurson is coming!" Nico warns. 

Alarm is apparent in all of their eyes. "Oh god, okay, we gotta go now, or we'll get caught! Bye, Y/n, love you stinky three thousand." The video is cut short, and you stifle a laugh at the sudden ending.

'Thanks guys, love you stinky three thousand.' 

You quickly type out the response and continue to scroll through Instagram for the remaining time it takes to get to the capital city. 

You stir, eyes fluttering open at the annoying sound of drilling and construction. You blink a few times, sitting up from where you had slumped against the window while you slept. Your vision clears, and you move your hands away to see bright lights and skyscrapers galore around you. 

You're here. 

Ninjago City is filled to the brim with people and endless traffic. Your dad scowls at the long line of cars in front of him, glaring at the red light that seems to take forever to turn green. 

"That's the school you'll be attending tomorrow." Your mum points out from the passenger seat, and you follow the direction she's pointing to. You stare at the large school on the right. 

‘Ninjago High School’

You hum in thought, already filled with anxiety for the following day. It didn't help that you were from the outskirts and had a different(and probably lacking) curriculum. You fiddle with the games on your phone, focusing intently on beating the next level of Candy Crush. 

You mumble a cuss when 'Game Over' appears on the colourful screen, and your mum instantly turns with a suspicious gaze. You smile nervously, trying to play it off as though you hadn't said anything. 

She turns back around, choosing to let it pass. 

You stare out the window, watching the shops pass by in a blur until you spot one that catches your eye. "Dad, could you drop me off here?" He doesn't question your sudden request, making a turn and parking next to the sidewalk. 

You open the car door and exit, looking up at the sign on the storefront. 

'Ninjago Doomsday Comix'

"There's a Chinese takeout nearby if you wanna grab dinner before meeting us at the new house." Your dad has a GPS pulled up on his phone, texting you the address of your new home. 

"Yeah, I'll grab some food on the way back. Gonna take a look around the place, y'know, before I get lost tomorrow." You joke. You adjust the straps of your small bag before settling it in a comfortable position on your back. 

"See you later then, kiddo. Call us if anything happens. Should be safe since those ninjas are around." 

Before you can question what he means, he drives off with all the rest of your luggage. 

"...Ninjas?" You mumble in confusion before shrugging it off. You were lucky that your dad had visited the city multiple times on business trips and that he was primarily a hands-off parent. Your mum usually just went along with his whims. 

The door swings open easily, a jingle catching you off guard. A man at the cashier counter greets you with a friendly grin that eases your nerves, and you walk up to him. 

"Hi, do you know where to find Starfarer comics?" 

"Well, right here, of course!" You cringe at his response, realizing how poorly worded your question was. It elicits a chuckle from the man in front of you. 

"Just kidding. I'm Rufus, Rufus McAllister, or you can call me Mother Doomsday. You're a new face around these parts. What's your name?" 

"Uhm, I'm Y/n. I just moved here, so maybe that's why." You reply, clutching the straps of your bag with a small smile at the friendly man.

"Well, welcome to Ninjago City! I hope the city treats you well. We got the ninja protecting us, so that's added security too." 

Your brows furrow, wondering why everyone around you knew what these ninjas were, but you had no clue. "Ninja?" 

Rufus pauses with his lips parted, seemingly processing your words. A relaxed grin slowly forms on his lips, and he waves off your question. "You'll find out soon enough." He glances towards a specific aisle, seemingly contemplating. 

"It should be fine then…." He mumbles. You're just lost in where this conversation had ended up. 

"Aisle Eight is where we keep the best-stocked Starfarer comics." He gestures to the area he had been staring at earlier. You thank him with a brief nod, walking over. 

The aisle is relatively empty, save for two other people. A blonde guy in a green hoodie is flipping through the latest issue of Starfarer with keen interest, engrossed in the colourful pages.

Next to him is another boy with slightly wavy and choppy black hair, the smooth and silky strands making you both envious and curious about his hair care routine. In contrast to his friend(you assumed), he regards you with a suspicious gaze. 

He’s kinda cute.

You find it odd, feeling mildly unsettled by the intense stare he gave you. It wasn't a good one; it was more on the wary side than interested. You brush it off, ignoring the pair and scouring the shelves for issue number three.

You finally find the issue you're looking for, but it's directly opposite the pair. 

After all, what would you be if not cursed with bad coincidence?

You practically tiptoe over, clearing your throat slightly as you grab the comic book and start reading. Green Hoodie(Greenie, you decide to nickname) looks up in surprise, only now noticing your presence. Mr. Grumpy Pants(The nickname suits him perfectly), on the other hand, doesn't bother hiding the grimace on his lips at your presence, looking away.

You stiffen, eyes narrowing into a glare.

Rude.

Greenie hits his friend's shoulder in a light punch, looking at you with an expression of apology. 

"She should be fine. Rufus wouldn't send anyone over here without vetting them first." Greenie whispers to Mr. Grumpy Pants, referring to his earlier behaviour.

"Yeah, but what if they're…you know? I don't want another repeat of what happened with Jay." 

Damn.

You almost drop the comic book in your hands, caught off guard by how attractive Mr Grumpy Pant’s voice is. You tense, now more aware of their presence. Even though you don't want to eavesdrop, you can't help how your ears practically perk up, hoping to hear more of the deep voice from earlier. 

Plus, they weren't doing a very good job of keeping their conversation a secret.

"I trust Rufus. He's a good friend." 

"...Maybe." 

"Is that…? OMG! It's them!!"

You're interrupted from blankly staring at the same page for the past fifteen minutes, having focused on the conversation behind you, though the pair had stopped talking a while ago.

You look up at the store's glass windows, startled by the sudden sight of a group of girls pressed against the glass, staring intently at the two boys behind you. 

"Oh no." You watch all the color drain from Greenie's face while Mr. Grumpy Pants smacks his palm against his face, sliding it down and sighing heavily with an utterly defeated expression. 

"Not again…" You hear him mutter.

The girls grab their phones, snapping photos of them. You realize that you're probably in them, too, considering the lack of distance between you both. 

"Girls, there's the door!!" The tallest and most commandeering of the group holds open the entrance to the comic book store, and they swarm towards it.

"Cole, run!!!" Greenie yells, taking off to the back door that Rufus quickly ushers them both through. You grab the issue of Starfarer that Greenie dropped on the floor in his hasty exit, watching the fabric of Cole's shirt almost get stuck in the doorway.

At least now you know Mr. Grumpy Pant's name. 

You place both the comics back on the shelf, leaving with a quick wave to Rufus, who nods goodbye. You pull out your phone, look up directions to the Chinese Takeout store and slowly make your way there. You grab your earbuds, put them both in your ears and start your playlist from the beginning.

You're next to an alleyway, just steps away from the Chinese Takeout, when your arm is grabbed and pulled into an alleyway next to you. A yelp rips free from your chest, losing your balance and almost fall. 

A strong and warm arm holds yours firmly, pressing you against the cold brick wall. Your eyes automatically squeeze shut when your back hits the wall with a grunt, opening your eyes to see Mr. Grumpy Pants from earlier. 

His hand is pressed firmly against your mouth, and your hands curl into fists, punching his chest weakly. Unfortunately, your body's affinity to whatever created muscles in your body was little, making you regret not going to the gym after years of procrastination.

He shushes you, and you only just notice his pinched brows and the shine of sweat on his forehead. You hear the gradual approach of his fangirls and realize that he had tugged you behind a wall that separated into a small alcove, out of sight from the sidewalk you were on earlier.

"Turn that nauseating song off." Cole winces, muttering through clenched teeth. Your punches slow to a stop, confused by his words. He grabs your phone out of your hands, pressing pause on your beloved playlist. You allow him to do so, your mind blank and realization slowly dawning on you. 

Your eyes widen in shock, staring up at his stupidly handsome face. His dark brown eyes are filled with the fear of being caught, and you catch yourself admiring the shaggy black hair that frames his face in the most annoyingly perfect manner.

Your mind races with incoherent thoughts, but one sticks out like a sore thumb.

Your soulmate's a celebrity?

You'd think that being a celebrity would mean that his music taste would be of at least adequate quality.

"Am I getting kidnapped right now?" You voice out the most pressing concern on your mind, though it comes out muffled. He turns back to face you with an incredulous expression.

"You don't know who I am?" His voice is hushed, waiting for the horde of fangirls to run past your hiding spot. 

Your eyes narrow, pushing his hand off of where it's placed on your shoulders. You try to ignore the tingle his touch leaves behind that spreads to your hands and how his choppy bangs somehow manage to fall over his eyes in a somewhat attractive manner when he turns to face you. 

"In the past twenty minutes, you've glared at me, been rude, and practically held me hostage," You snap at him, irritated by the lack of common human decency he seemed to display. "And what do you mean nauseating song? If anything, you're the one giving me headaches with that god-awful noise you call music that you play daily!"

You finish your mini rant, having reached the end of your already thinning patience with the boy in front of you. You pant slightly, trying your best to reign in your temper. 

"Noise? Noise?? I could say the same for you! You're disturbing my sleep at night with those ear-splitting synths and breathy singing that sounds like they're on the verge of hyperventilation!" Cole retorts with thinly veiled disgust, taking a step back, dusting off his hands, and wiping them on his pants. 

You eye the action, feeling insulted. Both of you stand in the alleyway, silently glaring at each other. Cole breaks the stare first, scanning the area behind him once he realizes the fangirls are gone. You grin, elated at the quiet victory. 

"You really gotta get more variety." Your smile drops as soon as the words leave Cole's lips, and yours press into a thin line. 

"Speak for yourself." You can barely hold back another biting remark. If anyone were to see you now, they'd definitely mistake you as enemies rather than the soulmates that you actually are.

He groans, rolling his eyes. You're tempted to ask what he does for a living but choose to stay silent. You shake your head, still in disbelief that you've found your soulmate. "How on earth are we even going to get along…." You mutter to yourself.

Cole looks up, seemingly having heard your quiet mumbles. "I could say the same thing. I can't be with someone who can't tell the difference between good music and bad!"

How insufferable.

But you can't help ogling his arms when he props his hands on his hips, the muscle ready to tear through the thin material. You tear your gaze away, crossing your arms. Unfortunately, he catches your eyes wandering, a cocky smirk tugging the corner of his lips up. 

Your cheeks instantly warm, and you look away in embarrassment.  

"Well, whatever. Just find me when you want to learn what real music sounds like!" 

"Fine!"

"Fine then!"

With that, the conversation ends, and you both turn to face opposite ends of the alleyway, walking away from each other with flushed faces and burning cheeks.

'Wait, I didn't give him my number.' 

You realize, turning around.

"I'll find you!" Almost as if he senses your hesitation, he answers your unasked question.

You turn with a huff, “Didn’t ask!" You yell back. 

To drive home your point, you place your earbuds back into your ears and hit play on your playlist.

Immediately, Cole's songs start playing in the back of your mind, much louder than before. You let out an irritated sigh, but surprisingly enough, the tune didn't sound as vexing as before. 

It might even be a little bit endearing.

[valeriesseacrettumbler]

The little accident

Hotch x reader

Summery(barely) - After a minor car accident there maybe some lingering problems that scare the shit out of aaron.

This is a one shot unless some mfs ask for more lol.

WC- 4276

——————————

You knew there wasn’t much time till Aaron picked you up but your already strong procrastination skills paired with the sick lethargic feeling you had made it all the much harder to get out of your cozy nest. 615- it was nice to be able to have breakfast with Aaron but to do so you had to wake up at the crack of dawn. You wrestle yourself out of bed and throw on the clothes you layed out last night. Mornings had never been your strong suit so to make them more doable you took some measures. Always set out your clothes, towel if you were going to shower, and set the coffee maker to have a fresh pot when you walked down stairs.

You were definitely getting sick, the slightly dizzy and sore feeling indicated that. But it wasn’t bad enough to not go into work so you thought you should just tough it out.

Earlier that same week you had been in sunny California on a case. One of the best perks of working for the BAU was the travel. For some agents that was the worst but you didn’t have any real responsibilities in dc that would hold you back. There was max, your massive Akita but you had a fantastic dog sitter. Other than that you could pack up and go at almost any time. On this particular case after a long and tiring investigation, hunt and chase of a particularly violent bank robber you and hotch had gotten into a mild car accident.

————————

“HOTCH”

You yelp

You turn to look too see headlights pouring in through the passengers side window.

Not even 20 seconds had passed since you plowed into the back corner of car you had been chasing. The driver had attempted to pull a u turn in front of you but your vehicles were already too close for Hotch to stop the car fully before clipping the unsubs left fender. With the speed you were going it ended up spinning the car about twice till it was on the edge of the road.

“Are you ok!?”

Your lungs hurt from the sudden pressure of you seatbelt but other than that you were fine.

“Yeah, are you?”

“Ye-“

“HOTCH!”

And that was when another medium sized Sudan plowed into your side of the car, sending your cruiser tumbling down the hill to your left.

For a moment everything went black as your head bashed against the window. Then you were in it, the car came to a stop in a somewhat akward position. Tilted on it side so that you were looking up at Hotch.

As soon as you regained some sort of grip you reach over swiftly to place your two fingers on his neck. He was unconscious but alive and breathing.

“A - Aaron” you don’t mean it to come out as pained as it did.

“mhhh” a small exhale and then a deep groan and Hotch was back.

After further assessment you were genuinely surprised they you both were ok. A tree had come through the window and pinned your waist and right arm. Your ribs hurt wheres the tree had made contact, probably broken. Hotch was cut up but basically fine and so were you.

“Can you move?”

His tone if hushed and concerned so you try to give comfort with your response.

“I just have to move the seat, can you hold this up and I’ll slip out”

Hotch held the tree branches as you clicked your seat back and slipped into the back seat.

You both climbed out of the wreck and turned to get a good look at eachother.

He swiftly steps forward and cocoons you in his arms, you didn’t have enough time to hug back so you settled with your hands tucked onto his chest.

He was leaning into your shoulder and holding you so tightly.

“Thank god your ok”

He whispers.

——————

Both of you were fine, checked out for injuries but emts and sent home. On the plane back Hotch sat with one arm around you for almost the entire flight. He was normally anti-PDA but you could tell how anxious the whole ordeal made him.

Now you were ready and waiting for hotch to show. You decided to meet him at the curb so you walk down. The sun seems a little bright for 630 but the days we’re getting longer.

He pulled in-front of you about 30 second after you walk down your steps.

You hop in, immediately he kisses you on the side of the mouth and the cheak.

“Good morning to you to” you laugh.

“I wouldn’t do that again, think I’m coming down with somthin”

“Hmm too bad I really wanted to do it again.”

Hotch shot you a devilish grin.

“So where do you have in mind this fine morning?”

You knew, whenever he got to chose the breakfast place he picked the same one

“I was just thinking the coffee place”

Moon rise coffee.

Exactly your guess.

He would get 3 eggs with whole wheat toast, bacon and a cup of black coffee.

You already knew that.

The BAU was slow today, which infact was coming to an end. Good thing too beck you were definitely ill. There was a high possibility you had a fever and you felt like you had been punched repeatedly in the chest. There was nothing you could do except hope to sleep it off so you watched the clock and the minute hand crawled by.

457-458–459— and there you go. You leave all your things at our desk only grabbing a small file.

The stairs up to hotches office literally took the life out of you. By the time you were at the top you were panting and sweating.

You finally made it and as you walked in Hotches gaze shot up. It started as happily supprised but quickly turned into a concerning tone.

He got up quickly meeting you in front of his desk where you had already sunk into a chair and were holding out the file limply.

“How are you feeling? I know you said you were getting sick but you look like your in pain.”

You were, your chest ached, head was pounding, it was the worst you’ve felt in a long time.

“Ehh I’ve been better” you say sheepishly

“I’ll be fine after a good sleep, which is why I came to say farewell.” You smile and begin you begin to get out of the chair you had melted into. Hotch quickly reached around his desk to get his bag and then the coat off his chair.

“I’ll come with you” he said as he slipped on one sleeve.

“Really, your going home at a reasonable time?” It was not somthing that happened regularly, he was normally there for about 2 hr after you.

“I thought I should take you home, you really don’t seem ok.”

He seemed genuine in his concern and you know how things this like this really fuck with his ability to be in control so you try not to seem too offended by his insinuation you could not make it home.

“Alright Hotchner, I’ll let you take me home but I don’t think you’ll be safe from the rest of the children out there.” You notion to the rest of the team now gathering in the bullpen before they all leave for the night.

It was harder than it should have been to go from sitting to standing, for about 10 seconds you were so dizzy you couldn’t see but as it passes you started to leave.

Grabbing your things you give a quick nod to the rest of the team and turn to leave.

“Wait your leaving too?” Morgan Looks at hotch and with a giddy tone spits out

“I see your girls got you on normal time now!” The team laughs as hotch shakes his head. He wants to retort but you are already so far ahead he chooses to follow.

Yet in passing his throws in “have a good night guys”

You had done so well up to this point, the bullpen, the elevator, the halls, the car garage but now as soon as you were reaching the car you weren’t doing well at all. There was a tightening in your chest and it was getting hard to breath. Hotch had already slipped into the drivers seat but as you went for the handle you collapsed.

You could not see or hear or move. It was all loud and bright. You thought you heard you name being yelled but at this point you couldn’t respond.

“Y/N!”

Hotch jumped out of the car, bolting to your side as he trys to get any response at all.

“Hey! Hey!” He softly shakes you but to no success.

From what he could see you were shaking, breathing heavy and ragged, and you were burning up.

You can see the panic in his eyes, the pain even though you were barely conscious. He was shaking as his hands slip under your head and knees as he slips you into the passengers seat.

Hotch knew he could get you to a hospital faster than an ambulance could get there. It was only 3 blocks away but it felt like miles. For you and him.

“We’re almost there… just hold on… please.” He was pleading as he reached over to your face. His hands were unnaturally cold because of your fever but his touch helped you feel safe.

At the hospital he grasp onto your hand for as long as they would let him before you were wheeled into the emergency room.

Upon your arival they had asked him so many questions. It was all a blur. Your name, blood type, all about the car accident and even if you were pregnant. He answered the best he could but his mind was going a million miles an hour. He was sweating and shaking and as the doors slammed behind your gurney a wave of nausea slammed into him.

Hotch turned to the waist basket at the side of the check in desk and proceeded to vommit.

A stranger waiting in the lobby came to his side.

“Hey are you alright?”

At this point he was dry heaving and could feel tears boiling up in the back of his eyes.

After a moment he seems to gain back control of his body and try’s to stand

“How about we get you to a seat”

Said the stranger

“Thank you.” Hotch grumbles

——————-

Waiting was the hardest.

At this point the team had come in, they didn’t get the call untill well after they had become heavily intoxicated at their normal bar. When they all did come in hotch didn’t even notice. His head was in his hands, elbows resting on restless legs.

“Hotch!”

“Is she ok?!”

“What happened!?”

He was unresponsive, tied up in his head.

Rossi promptly took the seat next to him and placed a hand on Aaron’s back.

He flinched and looked up swiftly. Rossi could see the redness in his eyes paired with confusion and pain.

Rossi quieted the questions with a

“Give him some room and go ask her” he was pointing to the desk attendant.

The team did as they were told leaving aaron and Rossi alone for a moment.

“Are you ok?” A question no one had asked hotch yet. After a long moment and stiff inhale he responded in a hushed sigh

“I can’t even think Dave…. She was fine, sick but fine and then she was on the ground. They said they couldn’t find a… a heart beat …..”

he paused for a moment taking in a shaky breath. “ I can’t do this again.. I can’t..” he stops as he try’s to gain some composure before he starts crying.

Rossi can see that he is badly holding it together and places his hand on Aaron’s shoulder in a comforting way.

Morgan walked over to where Rossi and hotch were cornered in the waiting room.

“She doesn’t know anything” he scoffs

————

It’s been 2 hours since Aaron carried you into the ER and there was no update. At some point somone had called your brother, the only family you had, but he was over 6 hours away and wouldn’t be there till the next morning. The feeling that you would wake up alone kept Aaron locked into his chair. When he had delicately placed you on the stretcher his hands lingered under you. With Hailey he knew, immediately that it would be the last time he touched her. With you he didn’t know.

He tried to think back to when the last time he kissed you was. That morning. The last time he said he loved you? He couldn’t remember if he had said it after he left you last night. He couldn’t remember! He must have said it within the last couple of days but he couldn’t remember.

That’s what he thought about as he waited.

“Aaron, can I get you a coffee or anything?” Emily asks softly.

“Um sure, black” he was exhausted.

“You got it. Anyone else?”

Morgan and Reid volunteered to come with.

Emotionally the team was struggling. Emily was basically your best friend. You went out with the team almost every weekend as if spending all your time with them wasn’t enough. Morgan loved you like a sister. Reid looked up to you in a way that he didn’t with anyone else. You and Garcia we a little unit, always finishing each other deductions, mainly live had been saved based on your communal quick wit. Rossi was like a father to you even though you would never admit it to his face. JJ, even though you two didn’t always see eye to eye she loved you. They all did.

————

At the 3.5 hour mark a young looking nurse came out of the doors to the ER.

“Y/n L/n?”

As soon as he heard your name Hotch jumped up along with the rest of the team.

The nurse explained how you had suffered from internal bleeding along with a small tear and swelling in the tissue surrounding you heart and that they were still working on stoping the bleeding.

The car accident.

It made his stomach churn. He should have known, he was there. He saw you everyday since. There were small winces here and there like at his dinner table two nights before when you tryed to get out of your chair. He should have pushed you to go to the hospital. He should have.

———

6 hour mark came and went with no updates. Everyone but Hotch Rossi and Emily had gone home to rest. Deciding who would go was harder than it seemed. They all wanted to stay, but Rossi made the decision for them. It was for the best, someone had to go into work tomorrow.

———

11 hours in and the doctor finally came into the lobby.

Rossi and Emily had dozed off but Hotch was wide awake.

His arms were crossed and he was watching the ceiling, lost in thought.

He almost didn’t hear when your name was called. After a dazed second he jumped up again.

Emily woke up immediately but she had to slap Rossi’s stomach with the back of her hand to get his attention.

“It’s just too soon to know” it was a punch in the gut and Aaron could feel the air get sucked out of the room.

The exhausted looking physician explained slowly that you had coded 4 separate times once for 6 and a half minute which has caused your brain to receive very low amounts of oxygen.

They were able to stabilize you but until you woke up there was no way to know the damage done to your brain.

“When can I… when can I see her?”

“She is in the ICU so family can visit now, are you family?”

“YES” Emily chimed in.

Hotch turned to her and with a quick nod she continued.

“He’s her husband”

He wasn’t but with quick thinking on Emily’s part now Aaron could see you.

He was more thankful than Emily could ever know. As the doctor led him to your room he mouthed a ‘thank you’ over his shoulder.

He was almost running as he honed in on your room.

As he cleared the doorway he stoped.

Seeing you lying there with a tube coming out of your mouth, arms, stomach and wires crossed hectically over your chest he felt dizzy. He carefully picked up your hand as he knelt next to your bed.

It was cool and limp as he raised it to his face, kissing your palm as he did so.

“Oh… my love” he tenderly stroked your cheak as a tear fell down his.

——-

On the morning of the 4th day at around 5:14 am you woke up.

There was the sunrise coming up in the window but the light was faint. It was quiet except for the beeping of some machines. The birds are what you hear first though. Slight chirps pour in though an open window.

When you slept, you always left a window open. The only thing that would stop you is below zero temps. Yes, you had only been dating for a month but Aaron had a lot of time to study you before his skills were tested. He noticed your tendency to leave the car windows open and if any office you used on a case had one you would open it.

He opened your hospital room window on the first night.

You weren’t in the icu anymore which was a significant step. The fact that you had slept for 4days wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, the doctor explained. “She lost a lot of blood Mr.Hotchner, the trauma her body is dealing with right now maybe too much for her to handle awake and she just needs some time to heal.”

On the third day they took out the intubation but you still had a nasty drain coming out of your side.

It turns out it was very lucky that Aaron was there. The team made a schedule for him -and you- so that he could also go home to jack.

He was at the hospital from dawn to when he picked Jack up from school. And repeated for the first 3 days but on the 4th he planed to go into work. He wanted to see you one more time before he went back so he got there at around 445. The night staff let him in, federal badges do have a bit of power, and he sat quietly in the chair next to your bed. He was looking at case files that the team have had for 4 day already but he is just getting a chance to look it over.

By 513 he is done with the inicial interview folder and is trying to find the some paperwork he had to sign when he thought he saw something. It was still darkish outside but he swore he saw your hand move.

And then

He saw it again.

Your pale hand grasping for something.

He slid all of the paper off his lap and stood. He shifted over to the edge of your bed when you make a faint groan as he takes your hand, sandwiching it between his.

And your eyes open. Just slightly at first as you get used to the light. And then your staring into his.

He leans in swiftly making you recoil slightly. Trying to not move you as much as he can he only leans in to hug you so that you nesiled your head to his shoulder, you hand coming up to meet his back, just barely touching him. He pulled back after a few moments and kissed you. Your lips were chapped and you barely could muster the energy to kiss back. He sat for a while just kissing you , he pecks the side of your mouth as he pulls away.

“…what… what happened?” Your voice was horse from the intubation.

“You scared the shit out of me that’s what.” He chokes out. You grimace slightly as you start to assess the damage to your body. Everything hurt, your chest, your legs, veins, all of it.

Aaron explained what happened and you express the same confusion he did when he first found you keeled over.

“I was fine… how didn’t I know?” You almost whispered as a tear rain down the side of your exhausted face.

“They said the internal bleeding started very small and it was just eventually too much. They think it was from the car accident.” He paused as he just watched you. Just the fact you were animated in front of him put all his fear and panic on the back burner of his mind. He reached out and brushed your hair to one side of your face.

“… I was so sacred y/n. You died… four times…” his breath became ragged and he looked down at the hand he had of yours.

“I know” your tone is supposed to be comforting but as you breath in a little more deeply than before you shudder. Grasping his hand tighter, looking up at the ceiling as your mouth mimics a small yelp yet no sound emerged. It feels like your chest is on fire. Aaron looked up at your contorted face and quickly reached over to hit the nurses button.

“They should adjust your meds, your shouldn’t be in this much pain.”

The nurse came in and upon seeing you and Aaron a large smile crept across her face.

She had only seen Hotch as his completely heart broken and lost self as he watched you.

“Thank god!” She said in a volume neither of you had prepared for making you both turn to the door and jump back a bit.

She silently apologized for her loudness and began too look over all your readings and chart.

“Agent Hotchner would you mind moving to the chair” she motioned.

He slipped back but he moved the chair even closer to the bed so that they were almost over lapping.

The nurse proceeds to listen to your heart rate.

“She’s in pain, can you give her somthing?”

“Unfortunately we have given her almost all that we can,(she turns to you) your heart is damaged which mean we really can’t put much stress on it or we risk you having a heart attack on us.”

“Mhh” you grunt.

“So there’s nothing, nothing you can do”

You can hear him start to get pissed.

“Aaron it’s fine, I’m alright” you give him the best smile you can muster, which isn’t very convincing. “You don’t want me to have a heart attack after all this do ya.” You let out a short breathy laugh.

He only stairs at you as the nurse starts to leave.

“The doctor will be in at about 6 but from what I can see your doing well, is there anything i can do to make you more comfortable. Raising your head might release some of the pressure in your chest.”

You nod swiftly. that’s all you wanted.

She began to tilt the bed so you were slightly sitting. The release of pressure on your lungs and chest resulted in a small gasp for you as your breath deepened.

Even though your eyes were closed you could feel his focused on you. It only took one or two slightly pained breaths for your rhythm to become even. You did sound better than when you were horizontal.

The nurse left quicky afterwards, at this point it was 545, and hotch knew Rossi would be awake. There was no way he was going into work. Absolutely no chance he would leave you now that your finally awake and he could breathe again. He just needed some time to fully process that your alive and seemingly ok. He quickly shot Rossi a text “ she’s awake, I’m not coming in”

“So what have I missed?” you ask in a slightly raspy voice motioning to the mess of papers on the ground with a slight jesture from your Iv covered hand.

Aaron let’s out an emotionless laugh and looks at the floor for a quick second before joining your eyes.

“It hasn’t even been an hour and you already want to talk about work?”

“I will talk about anything Aaron,” you say defeated. You just wanted to hear his voice, hold his hand and… sleep. It seemed odd how tired you for how long you had just slept.

“, please just talk” you can feel your impulse to cry is peeking through. He can hear it in your voice.

He has been so worried about your physical condition he hasn’t even thought of the damage it had done to your mind. You were scared out of your mind and in pain.

He knew how to comfort you through words.

“Ok my love, ok.” He kissed your hand and began describing the case the files scattered on the floor held.

Everyonce in a while you would ask a question like “ what did the ME say?” Or “ do you beleive him?” Just like at the round table in the bau. Now you just had to close your eyes and imagine it.

There was a smile across hotches face, he explained more as he picked up and read the folders.

Eventually you fell asleep.

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

These have been sitting in my inbox for a while, and I want to apologize, because I am a world champion at procrastination. I actually have quite a few asks that I’ve never responded to, and I feel like such an asshole. If you sent an ask and I never responded, PLEASE don’t think I’m ignoring you or I don’t care; I just have this thing where I get distracted very easily and it turns into procrastination. I really cherish all the love jam packed into those tiny little asks.

But these are the most recent ones, and they’re kind of in the same vein. I really should make a narrated process video of some sort one day. I do have something like that on patreon right now, but it’s over a year old, and my process has changed since then. But for now, I’ll try to answer these as best I can!

First of all, thank you!! This ain’t a question but I’ll go on a spiel anyway. I use a dark pencil for outlining, and I try to emphasize deeper/darker areas with both pressure (pressing down harder on the pencil), and overall size of the line/mark/whatever. These spots are typically the upper eyelid, nostrils, corners of mouth, inner ear, bottom/roots of pieces of hair, spots where clothing wrinkles originate, that sort of thing. Oftentimes I’ll emphasize the “underside” of objects or shapes too.

As for time for a drawing, it varies a lot. The lengthiest thing I work on is commissions. The initial light sketch for a comm can actually take a while, depending on the drawing. 2 full characters together requires a lot of planning for the poses and stuff. So I might spend an hour, 2 hours if I’m really struggling, just making the sketch for a 2 full body character drawing. Then I’ll take maybe 5 or 7 hours to do the rest? That’s a guess, I don’t really keep track. Usually I’ll do the sketch one day, and the next day I’ll spend all or most of the work day just finishing the drawing. I consider one of those “a days work”. Hopefully that made sense! 

The images of my drawings are clean because I scan them! After I scan them, I do a levels adjustment in photoshop. (I struggle taking pics with my phone, even though it has a nice camera 🥲I don’t think I could ever get close to the way they look now without a scanner) 

As for how I make them look clean on paper, I think it’s a combination of two things: the pencil I do the initial sketch with is substantially lighter than the one I outline with. So when I’m outlining/rendering out the drawing, the sketch lines sort of fall back and aren't as noticeable. Secondly, I use a click eraser to erase the sketch lines as I go. And I take my time and use a lot of patience and prioritize neatness/details. This is especially the case with comms. With those I give 110%. For my own personal doodles, I don’t focus on making them as neat, and instead scribble around with my pencil to get the values I want, without fretting over each individual shape to make sure it makes sense. 

I hope this answers your questions okay! I really should make some sort of video but I don’t have a lot of time right now. Thank you for your asks and kind words!!

[stillness138]

Since there won't be any more expansions (and i'm a chronic procrastinator), i updated my personal top 10 Gwent card arts into a top 20, including the few sets that came since then and shuffling things around a bit.

It's a long one, hence the cut.

Personal top 20 Gwent card arts:

20: Bone Talisman by Bogna Gawrońska It's still the most festive looking thing i like. My beloved blue-and-bright red fidget spinner. I really can't explain my weird attachment to it any other way; i generally tend to like the item arts, maybe it's the collector brain, maybe it's because after Homecoming and most of the expansion sets since later 2019 onwards, these base set trinket adjacent arts became more prominent to me among a lot of new, more dramatic and bleak character and scenery art.

19: Ceremonial Dagger by Katarzyna Bekus The entire set of strategem arts from Merchants of Ofir is honestly packed, but the dagger is the one i found myself putting in my in-game profile the most. Maybe it's the item hoarder brain again, maybe it's the color scheme i find relatable if that makes sense, most likely it's the premium helping a bunch to make that choice too. The background weirdly fascinates me. Does it have anything to do with The Spiral? I have never attempted to really assign any logical meaning to the strategem arts, they're clearly more symbolic than anything, but it still makes you wonder.

18: Ard Gaeth by Katarzyna Bekus Somewhat related, here's another piece of wonky multiverse lore. And once again, it's the color that first grabs attention; the contrast of teal and this dusty red. Then one starts realizing the implied size and scope, the birds help with that, apart from being a cute composition detail. The shattery effect makes it look volatile, unstable, dangerous. Ominous. Which ultimately makes it fit with the rest of the Wild Hunt archetype in more than just lore.

17: Coup de Grâce by Lorenzo Mastroianni There are two wolves in me, one loves bright colors, the other actually enjoys a lot of the bleaker scenes. Although to be fair, Lorenzo Mastroianni is a big contributor to that. And it's no wonder, when he casually drops stuff like this. It's almost symbolic, lot less than strategems but certainly more than other, straightforward "war sucks" Gwent art. How do you visually represent something sad in a way that makes it hard to look away not just because of the tragedy but because of the beauty put into making that image? You ask Lorenzo Mastroianni, the modern classical artist, to do it.

16: Viper Witcher by Valeriy Vegera I once described Valeriy's art as "where Lorenzo uses a tight color palette, he uses every pencil in the case". This one is perhaps not as obvious an example, the whole piece has a very unified atmosphere especially from afar, but still, there are so many colors especially in textiles and skin. They're harder to register sometimes but it's how Valeriy does texture and shading. And somehow, he bridges the bleak and the colorful world too. Admittedly, this card also had to be here because mr. Viper is my son, and the voicelines are done by an actor with the nicest, smoothest bass i've heard since Peter Steele.

15: Naglfar's Crew by Anton Nazarenko I was surprised by how much i ended up liking this one. It's the implications, i think; enchanted to laboriously upkeep this monster of a ship, this 'and if you see it emerge from a breach in the sky, you know you're fucked' symbol of death and decay. It's dark in a way i find compelling, i guess.

14: Serpent Trap by Marta Dettlaff Back to the bright ones, i liked this art ever since i discovered it as Nature's Gift in post-Midwinter beta. The card saw play in Scoia'tael spell decks, and to me it became linked to Francesca Findabair for their shared spectral snake thing. But that all aside, the art is just so pretty. Vibrant, yet not oversaturated. And like the item arts, needed to balance out the cool and badass and the dramatic and tragic. Looking at it now, another point comes to mind; it's still grounded? The way Gwent art at large is grounded compared to other card games. Like it's not trying so hard (both this piece and the game's art in general). That's refreshing.

13: Chort by Bartłomiej Gaweł It reminds me of the first game's main menu. The Witcher 1 main menu is, to me, one of the most accurate representations of this universe, its atmosphere. Even if the "you kill cows, you get ambushed by the fucking baphomet" is a meme game mechanic, something about it is...witchery. Superstition, folk legends, and ultimately, monsters. Or that's my takeaway, anyway. But the Chort art, beside being on the more rare side in-game, has always weirdly drawn me in.

12. Oneiromancy by Lorenzo Mastroianni This was the Novigrad expansion key art before they turned it into a card, and i sure am glad they did. Lorenzo can get a bit weird, as a treat, someone said. Are they Condwiramurs and Corinne? Possibly! But i'll abstain from the schizo theories now. It's a gorgeous, well composed and executed surrealist piece. Inception if it had strong palpable atmosphere.

Denis Villeneuve > Christopher Nolan. but Lorenzo beats both

11: Funeral Boat by, you guessed it, Lorenzo Mastroianni One final yippee for the last card set. And my god it's beautiful. Tight composition can get surprisingly hard to coordinate and make decisions for, but this is so well-balanced. The left end of the boat is closer to the frame, but right side has the most noticeable color, the character's face, and of course the bird to even it out. As if to defend the title i gave him earlier, Lorenzo references Isle of the Dead in a way that, even if symbolic, fits into the universe perfectly. Someone stop me before i start rambling about similar concepts in different mythologies.

10: Dana Méadbh (now the token spawned by Call of Harmony) by Anna Podedworna The most famous Gwent artist enters the list. With a piece made around two, when you think about it very bold choices. The goddess of nature and life, glowing with inhuman light in a black and barren forest. Obscured by thin, bare tree trunks. But to make her emerge and stand out, that was necessary. And it's working wonders. A lot of the Scoia'tael faction is obviously green, all kinds of green, but even a simple choice like making it pop out of black makes the card art stand out among others.

9: Circle of Life by Oleksandr Kozachenko It has everything i usually look for in Gwent art; nature, color, atmosphere. A certain tranquility, perhaps. A little bit of story - the orange badge is the Kerack coat of arms. It's that environmental storytelling thing gamers keep talking about, complementing the character and faction drama of the rest of its card set.

There's a slightly changed, extended version, too, and somehow it's even better.

8: Gezras of Leyda by Bogdan Rezunenko As much as i tend to dunk on Bogdan for having played Blasphemous once and making it his entire personality, Gezras is easily the best school founder card art of the set. Once again, the choice to have these prominent arts on the more symbolic side paid off, and the result is a stalking nocturnal animal out for revenge, backed by a giant image of what simultaneously did him irrepairable harm and gave him the means to defend himself. The premium doesn't disappoint either.

7: Rioghan the Undying by Daniel Valaisis To nobody's surprise, the atmosphere, once again, got me hooked. I love the cold color, the dramatic flow, the big imposing silhouette of a ship in the background. Poor boy is the picture of misery. It's pure melancholy (something not that common in the Skellige faction by the way, which is a point in favor of Funeral Boat too), that i, of course, am inevitably drawn to.

he's just like me fr...

6: Witches' Sabbath by Michal Lisowski Did i craft this card already or not? The realist's complaint towards near-greyscale card art. I share this sentiment, if only for the comedy of it, but with a few notable exceptions, and this piece is the main one. The Robert Eggers comparisons were made already i'm sure, but it really is a take on the last good Witcher 3 quest with a dramatic, more dreamy, or you could say cinematic quality ramped up to 11. Gone is the fanservice present in the game and the unnecessarily grotesque depictions of fatness of other parts of this card set, and what remains is a beautiful, ominous callback to folklore and classical art.

5: Tinboy by Valeriy Vegera This is a baroque painting. The drama. Tinboy doesn't take that scarf off, ever. And here this poor soul is, their last will to live dragging it off him. On purpose? On accident? Probably both. The pattern marking Tinboy as a gang member staining with blood of a victim, something something symbolism. All in Valeriy's signature 'which pencil should i pick up next' style. Underrated piece.

4: Lara Dorren by Toni Muntean They finally got our girl. And once again, despite heartbreak, it's gorgeous. Soft, sweet colors with a necessary hint of melancholy (the lighting suggests it's sunset?), and a pure, painted quality without the need for texture assets. A scene like this is better left a comparatively simple and laid back tribute. Beyond the technicalities, i also really, really applaud Toni for the outfit design. This is the Aen Elle princess, dressed well but for the weather. And the fact her mostly blue clothes with yellow sleeves mirror Cregennan's yellow jerkin with blue details, and her red brooch above the heart might, beside contrasting with the blue, very well reflect his fatal wounds... well. As much as death on card art isn't always done the best, Lara is represented together with that which mattered to her the most. Despite being categorized among the Wild Hunt, she remains herself.

3: Lydia van Bredervoort by Igor Klymenko The joy i felt when this was the art of Lydia they managed to get into the game. It's easily one of the best contest pieces and on par with the best Gwent has to offer - it has mood, and that ever present air of groundedness, realism, and in that, unfortunate tragedy. But similarly to Lara, it shows Lydia being her own person; doing what she loved and was good at without sight of Vilgefortz despite her being known as his ever loyal assistant. Likewise, it doesn't sensantionalize her condition, but references it in a subtle, tasteful, and even clever way. I also love her dress and the overall color palette. Igor understood.

2: Eldain by Anna Podedworna Couldn't help it, this asshole has me in chokehold and he's enjoying it. In my defense, this piece highlights everything Anna is known for, because she's damn good at it. Incredibly sharp main subject of the piece contrasted against a blurry background, which allows for insane details like the strings extending from the top of the lute. To add more fun to it, Eldain isn't even in the absolute foreground, but the piece is still composed smart, so he remains the main focus. His silly red collar on mostly green helps. On top of all that, the art tells a little story, something Anna often does too, and in this case it delightfully sums Eldain up. It's also the best premium in the game.

look at his little red ears from sitting against the sun aww

Honorable mention: Lake Guardian by Anton Nazarenko Like the following #1, this card has sentimental value to me as my second card reveal and artwork i made my best emote of. It was a perfect match, bird gals and all. It's a Sirin, bringing in a more obscure but not unwelcome mythology reference to the universe. And I love her vibrant, marble-like eyes.

1: Dol Blathanna Sentry by Lorenzo Mastroianni ...remains my favourite card art since that fateful day sometime in January 2018. I was just discovering what there was to know about Witcher, downloading Gwent in the first place out of need for more content as i was slowly reading through the first book. Gwent has done a lot to explore and build on this universe, and it has helped me contextualize a lot of things early on. I remember scrolling through the deckbuilder, seeing this art, and being struck by its mood, this aura of secret and wonder. "Oh, so this is what Dol Blathanna looks like..." It's quintessential older Lorenzo. Very much admitted brush work, fog, tight color palette. The little specks of blue in flowers and face paint work just right. Maybe it's a reference to Arthurian myth and Avalon, maybe to Greek myth and Hades, or maybe, as is often the case and was the case later (or earlier in this list), both. It spoke to me and my sense of wonder back then. It speaks to me when i search for comfort now.

now, time to tear Karol Bem to shreds in the top 20 least favourites xd

[cornbread-but-cringey]

decided to finish up Ore-ish Hotbar before moving on to Conglomeration alpha 2 (read: i'm procrastinating), and i think it's almost done!

"what's even different between this and the last post?"

tbh, not a lot. previously, this pack changed the anchors for the hotbar but now it doesn't. for compatibility with Cornbread's Texture Fixer (you still have to load texture fixer lower tho). but also i changed the dropshadows on the item stack count.

basically, i swapped the vanilla dropshadow out for a custom one that i can change the color of depending on the state of the item slot. i originally did this because i wanted it to look like there wasn't a dropshadow at all (to make it more similar to the ore ui it's replicating)*, but i decided i didn't like the way that looked, so i instead repurposed the architecture to make sure the dropshadow was always slightly darker than the item slot, regardless of whether the slot is selected or not.**

also, i removed that little white line i added to the selected slot in the last post. this makes it less accurate to ore ui, but it didn't really look good with the alignment of the text and was also just too much visual noise.

*"why did you need a dropshadow at all if you wanted it to look like there wasn't one?"

visibility reasons. removing the shadow entirely makes it harder to read the stack count on lighter-colored items.

**"wasn't the vanilla dropshadow you were using in the previous post already darker than the slot texture?"

the unselected slot texture, yeah. but it was actually lighter than the selected slot texture, which can be seen in the first post.

here's a screenshot of what it looked like with the dopshadows being the same colors as the slot textures btw:

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 19: Pre-Trip

Proud of myself for getting done the things I needed to get done without angsting about it. What emotional efficiency. I'm still kind of in denial about everything but--there's not anything to think through, there are only things to do. And I know those things; they're very familiar.

Anyway, went to work, tried to finish things where possible and leave everything in a good spot. Secretly hoping K will do a significant chunk of the transcript work for me, a terrible thing to admit but it's.... that annoying. Perhaps a two person job y/y? Talked briefly to C and A, laying the groundwork conversationally to come out to them perhaps. It is a process.

I left a little later than planned and grabbed lunch on the way home, but after I ate, I was sleepy. So I ended up falling asleep for a while but it felt so damn good. Mm. But honestly I've procrastinated harder and finished later and with less energy. I did laundry, washed most of my dishes, dinner, and packed. I feel like packing was too easy, almost. What am I forgetting? But--I'm not exactly going off into the wilderness.

Heard back from my aunt also but I think that's going to have to be a problem for me-on-vacation, not me now.

Now I am a bit too awake is the thing. Mentally it's like 9pm. I still need to shower and also figure out when I'm getting up tomorrow to be on time for the train.

[dreamofbona]

starlight - park jongseong

summary: when your family decides to move, you're not happy at all. even though your social life is crumbling, you want to stay in new york. besides, what's to say that life in seattle will be better?

alternatively: you move to seattle and learn how to live (2521-esque)

genre: high school au, fluff, angst

pairing: jay x fem!reader

warnings: swearing

word count: 2.43 k

other characters: jake, heeseung, kim chaewon, huh yunjin, sakura, huening kai, taehyun

Chapter One:

You didn’t want to move. You were perfectly happy staying in New York City. Okay, maybe you weren’t happy. But you still didn’t want to move. So what if your social life was falling apart? So what if you had started to hate school because of it? Moving was still worse.

Especially because it was Seattle. No one lived in Seattle. The entire plot of Family Reunion was the fact that the McKellans were moving out of Seattle, not to it. It rained a lot there, was in the North West of the United States, and had no real appeal. Washington State as a whole was uninteresting and gloomy, the whole reason (probably) that Twilight took place there.

So you make it known that you don’t want to move. You complain, whine, procrastinate packing, and make pointed comments at dinner, but your parents don’t give in, and next thing you know you’re on a plane to Seattle, leaving your beloved city behind.

You’d spent summer vacation getting ready to move, and so only a week after you’ve moved into your new home in Seattle, it’s the beginning of junior year. School is starting. Great.

It’s the last Friday before school starts, and you receive an email from the school - schedule, locker, school map… and a guide. Another junior, Jongseong Park, it says. You sigh, trying to ease your nerves about starting all over at a new school, and close your email. You can deal with school later. Now? Netflix.

Before you know it, it’s the first day of school. You walk to your bus stop in the morning, not bothering to start a conversation with anyone there. Being lonely is hard, but being ignored is harder. Why make friends when they never stick around? Music is better, music stays, music fills the silence and never lets you feel alone. So you elect to spend the bus ride with Spotify.

You reach the school, walking into the main office. You take a quick look at the room - it’s large, spacious, airy. There are so many windows, and therefore so much natural light that you feel refreshed. Maybe this school won’t be so bad. 

There are a ton of little cubicles in the room, where it seems like the majority of the school’s administration works - there are secretaries, transportation officials, security team people… you eventually walk to the first secretary desk you see.

“Hi, I’m a new student, I was told to come here?” You say. 

The lady at the desk smiles warmly, “Yes, can I have your name?”

You give her your name, and she types away on her keyboard, clicking around with her mouse, before she says, “Alright, I’ve signed you in. Don’t worry about being late to classes this first week - teachers are very lax about tardiness for the first few days, and they know you’re a transfer student so they’ll go easy on you. Your guide should be here soon, and he’ll walk you to your classes today and answer any questions you have about the school.”

It’s magical - the second she stops speaking, you hear the door behind you open, and in walks a tall blonde boy. He’s wearing a gray tee shirt, black ripped jeans, and black Adidas sneakers. He’s wearing his navy backpack on one shoulder, headphones around his neck, and he raises his eyebrows in greeting,

“You must be Y/N,” he says, and you nod. “Nice to meet you, I’m Jongseong, but I go by Jay.”

“Nice to meet you too, Jay,” you respond quietly. You can hear your heart beating, nervous.

“Alright, first period…” he glances at his phone, and you try to calm your breathing. This kid is attractive, and you find yourself wondering if everyone at this school is. You’d thought some of the guys at your old school were cute, but this was something else. Jay could be a model. Maybe he is. “Alright, so we’re gonna go to the History wing.”

You follow him down the hall, looking around at the flyers on the walls - there are so many clubs, sports teams, and charity events going on despite school having just started. You and Jay walk straight for a while, before you eventually turn right into what you quickly figure out to be the history wing - the board of history memes gives it away. You walk past two classrooms, before turning into C104, your classroom.

“We’re here,” says Jay, and you both walk in. There are no assigned seats, instead, you’re asked to pick seats that you’ll use for the rest of the year. You sit down at a seat in the second row, and Jay sits down at the desk next to you. 

You’re kind of surprised. You’d thought that he’d walk you to your classes, nothing else, but instead he sits down next to you and makes conversation with you. Either this school is filled with kind people, or Jay is the kindest person on the planet. 

“So, where are you from?” he asks you after sitting down, his warm brown eyes showing genuine curiosity.

“New York City,” you answer, “Manhattan specifically.”

“Oh, I love NYC. I want to live in Manhattan one day - it’s such a lively place. I’m hoping to go there for college.” Jay enthusiastically responds.

“Yeah, there’s always something to do there. That’s something I love about it.” You reply. You open your mouth, wanting to ask him a question, but then your teacher starts talking.

“Welcome to American Government, I’m Mr. O’Neil, your teacher.” He drones on about the class, expectations, topics covered, and you stop listening. You have no interest in government, and all the interest in the boy sitting next to you. 

Somehow, your first class finally ends, and next thing you know you’re standing up, slinging your bag over your shoulder, and walking out of the classroom.

“So next…” Jay starts, pulling out his phone, scrolling with his finger, “we both have Math but we’re in different classes. They’re in the same wing though so we can walk there together.”

You nod, and follow him once again. You exit the History Wing, turn right, walk straight, climb up stairs, and then turn into the Math Wing. Your math classroom is first, and you thank Jay, who jokingly wishes you good luck - he mentioned on the walk there that he hates the subject.

You walk into the math classroom, sitting down at a desk towards the back of the room. You hate math. You know you’re gonna hate this class. You sigh, staring at the board - the first slide of a powerpoint on PreCalc is up on the screen - and nearly jump in your seat when you hear a voice next to you loudly exclaim “OH MY GOD!”

You turn to see a girl with long brown hair that reaches just past her shoulder blades laughing loudly at a boy in front of her. 

“I can’t believe you actually did it,” she’s saying, “why would you dye your hair gray? You look like a young old man.”

“I look amazing, thank you very much,” he responds. “And it’s not gray, it’s silver. Silver like the moon, like the stars, like the glossy fur on a wolf. I look gorgeous with this hair color, as I always do.”

The girl just laughs in response, “You’re so full of yourself.”

Another boy walks in, with a head of brown hair and black glasses on his face. “Hello Grandpa,” he says to the gray, no, silver-headed boy. Except this boy’s voice sounds different, and when he continues talking you realize that he has an accent. Australian?

You’re unable to figure it out fully because then the bell rings, and your math teacher silences the class, beginning a long, boring introduction to Precalc. 

Your next few classes are the same - Jay walks you around, which is somewhat fun because he talks to you, all enthusiastic and funny - but the classes themselves drag on for eternity. 

And then it’s lunch time. You’ve been dreading lunch all day, because with lunch comes socializing, and with socializing comes stress. Who are you supposed to sit with? Will anyone let you sit at their table? Will there be any empty tables you can sit at, and if there are, will people think you’re weird?

Once you reach the cafeteria, you find that your worries were for naught. 

“You can sit with me and my friends if you want to, Y/N,” Jay says to you, and you just nod, and he gestures for you to follow him, “Over here, that’s our table.”

The three kids from your math class are there, along with a few others who you’ve seen in some classes. 

“Everyone,” says Jay, “this is Y/N. She’s new, she’s cool, be nice.”

“We’re always nice,” says the girl from your math class.

“No you’re not,” says silver-hair boy. He then turns to you, and goes, “I’m Heeseung, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” you respond.

One by one, they all introduce themselves, and they’re all really nice, and you figure that either people at this school are just kind, or these kids are different. You pretty quickly decide the latter, since they also all look like models, and now that you’ve seen a decent amount of the kids here, you know that that’s not a shared trait among the general school population.

Girl From Math Class is Yunjin, but she just tells you to call her Jen.

Boy With Accent is Jake, and he moved from Australia a few years back, hence the accent.

There’s also Kai and Zuha and Chaewon and Taehyun and all of them are so kind and welcoming and for the rest of the day, you feel like maybe school here won’t be that bad. You now only have one class where you don’t know anyone, and you feel happy, you feel like you belong. They talk to you during class, slipping you notes while teachers drone on, and now you understand why people like school. You’d never experienced any of this in NYC.

They also add you to their group chat, and your parents raise their eyebrows at your constant grinning at your phone that evening. Kai is absolutely hilarious.

“School was good today?” Your mother asks after dinner, and you nod.

“Yeah, everyone’s super nice, I made friends… I’m feeling good about this school thing in Seattle.” 

“I’m glad.”

Despite your saying that, you find yourself unable to fall asleep. You toss and you turn, and all you can think about is the people you met today. Did they actually like you? Were they pretending? Why would they want to hang out with you? You find yourself going back to your old school, to your old friends… you don’t want to think about it.

“Y/N, tell him he looks ridiculous!” is the first thing Jen says to you as you walk into math class the next day. Heeseung is wearing a pair of enormous glasses, and you can’t stop yourself from laughing. The large, tacky, red glasses clash with the rest of his style - the neatly combed silver hair, the gray tee shirt and the black jeans. 

“You look ridiculous,” you say to Heeseung, “why red?”

“I can pull anything off,” says Heeseung. “I’m proving that point today.”

“You know what you’re proving today?” you all jump at the question from your math teacher. “Trigonometric identities. Here you go, get to work,” he says, handing out worksheets.

You groan at the problems, “I hate math.”

“Me too,” says Jen. “I don’t care about numbers, and doing math with letters is so weird. Like why is x a number now?”

“I love math,” says Jake, “it’s such a gorgeous way to represent life. Like, so much is represented through math. It’s so important for science.”

“You,” you say, “are an anomaly.”

“That’s because I’m perfect,” Jake replies, “one of a kind, absolutely amazing.”

You laugh, and Jen just sighs, looking like she’d rather be anywhere else. “They’re always like this,” she says to you. “So full of themselves.”

“As we should be,” says Heeseung, and Jake voices his agreement, and you just shake your head, smiling nonetheless. 

“Y/N’s disagreement tells me she has a crush,” says Jake after a few minutes, “how else could anyone resist our charms?”

You blush, shaking your head, “I’m sorry to break it to you two, but you’re very resistable.”

“Nonsense,” says Heeseung. “You just like Jay.”

“Where’d you get that from?” you frown.

“You looked at him yesterday like a gold-miner looking at gold,” says Jake.

“The way you said that was so weird,” you say.

“But you’re not denying it.”

You sigh, “Guys, I’ve known him for one day. I just appreciated that he was kind and welcoming.”

Heeseung shrugs, “We won’t stop you from being delusional. Whenever you want to talk boys, though, let us know.”

“Let me know,” says Jen. “You can’t trust those two.”

And conversation erupts again, this time Heeseung and Jake acting hurt at Jen’s statement. 

You laugh, turning back to your worksheet, surprised at how fun this math class is.

Pretty soon, it’s lunch time. You walk to lunch with Kai, who happens to be in your art class, your class before lunch. He’s making jokes, imitating the art teacher, and you’re laughing. 

You walk into the cafeteria, sitting down in an open seat next to Jen, and Kai moves to sit on your other side, but then Jay walks in. He looks mildly annoyed. He glances at Kai, and then sits across from you. 

“So, Y/N, how’s your day been so far? Are these idiots being nice to you?”

“I’m not an idiot,” Jake protests, before starting to recite physics formulas by heart, and then he starts talking about linear algebra and you wonder who allowed him to be in precalc.

Jay just rolls his eyes, before making eye contact with you.

“Yeah, it’s been good. I had no idea that Kai was so good at impressions.”

Jay shrugs, “I guess he is.”

The rest of the lunch period, Jay seems off. Granted, you’ve only known him for a day, so maybe this is how he always is, but he stays pretty quiet, glancing at Kai every so often, before glancing at you.  Jen just looks at you, and then at him, and then at you again and laughs. Later on, you swear you hear her whisper to Zuha that “he so has a thing for her”.

taglist: @chaewon-slays

[eevylynn]

WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by the lovely @whimsicalmeerkat a while back (which is why I'm posting this on a Tuesday night, but hey, it's Wednesday somewhere in the world)

This is from my Booktoker Derek story. I needed a break from working on my Sterek Reverse Bang, so I figured I'd work on this for a bit

*~*~*~*~*~*

It started unsurprisingly: Stiles was procrastinating doing his essay by doomscrolling on TikTok. He had probably wasted almost half an hour of countless videos of ADHD hacks, the latest dance trend, a few badass women wielding various medieval weaponry, and some weirdly satisfying carpet cleaning videos.

After liking a neat heart-healthy recipe that he’s thinking of trying sometime soon, Stiles scrolled on to the next video.

The first thing he registered was SKIN.

Then, to the beat of the latest trending thirst trap song, the shot zoomed out to show a shirtless man from his large, corded shoulders down past his rippling abs, reading some book that Stiles had seen mentioned by countless women on booktok before.

The camera panned up, revealing more until—

“Holy. Shit.”

It was Derek Hale.

Stiles froze, his thumb hovering above the screen as his brain struggled to catch up with what he was seeing. Derek, perfectly disheveled with stubble framing his jaw and brows furrowed in concentration, was reading the book. His kaleidoscope eyes swept across the page as if genuinely engrossed in the story.

Looking at the bottom of the screen, Stiles saw the username @howlinghemingway.

Well, shit.

Forget his essay, this discovery was much more important. It wasn’t like his essay was even due tomorrow. Stiles still had a week to work on it. Besides, the longer he puts it off, the harder the ADHD procrastination adrenaline will hit, and it’ll probably still be one of the best in class.

With that in mind, Stiles clicked the username to see what other videos Derek had posted as he stood up from his desk chair to make himself comfortable in his bed before he dived on in.

Each video drew him deeper into the rabbit hole. There were videos of Derek discussing plot twists, sharing his favorite steamy scenes, giving writing tips, all while showing Derek in various states of undress while recommending different books. Books Stiles didn’t even know Derek knew about much less owned. Stiles was mesmerized by the way Derek’s sharp cheekbones caught the light, the way his jaw clenched while talking about a particularly gripping part of a story.

One video in particular caught Stiles’ attention. Derek was casually lounging in what Stiles recognized as the library in pack house, the same location as most of Derek’s videos . He was dressed in grey sweatpants and a soft burgundy sweater. Stiles can’t remember ever seeing Derek look so damned soft. That sweater even had thumbholes! Thumbholes! Derek in thumbholes was a level of cozy Stiles wasn’t emotionally prepared for.

But that wasn’t the real kicker.

Derek held up a hardcover novel, his thumb grazing over the title: Crimson Moon by Samuel Blackwolf. Stiles squinted at the screen, confused for a second, until Derek’s smooth voice filled the air.

“Imagine ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ meets ‘Hamlet’, but way steamier. ‘Crimson Moon’ continues Cyrus and Rowan’s forbidden romance. An ancient curse threatens their bond, all while they uncover Cyrus’s dark family secrets. And yes, it’s as spicy as ever,” Derek said, grinning salaciously. “Think forbidden love, secret rendezvous, and intense passion. Unlock the secrets yourself.”

Stiles’ jaw dropped.

Derek Hale, brooding werewolf extraordinaire, was not only a BookToker, but also a secret smut author with multiple books published?!

WHAT?

*~*~*~*~*~*

No pressure tags: @renmackree @endwersed @thotpuppy

[ablatheringblatherskite]

Old vs New

To procrastinate writing I've decided to compare one of the very first fanfics I ever posted to my most recently posted fanfic. I am already cringing.

Alright this is some dialogue from the first fanfic I ever posted, titled Sayonara, Suckers! which is a crossover fic between Newsies and In The Heights, where Jack Kelly and Usnavi work together to escape New York LOL:

"You ready?" Jack asked him.

"I guess."

Jack just laughed, then took off at a run. Usnavi followed him, unsure. He followed as Jack swerved around and behind buildings. Then he bumped into the newsie, who had stopped abruptly. A duo of voices filled the air:

"Well well well, if it ain't the famous Jack Kelly."

"Hey Oscar, look, he's got the De La Vega wimp with him."

"You aren't running away now, are you?"

"I think they are! They even packed their suitcases!"

"Maybe we should help them unpack?"

"Definitely."

Usnavi's breath caught in his throat as he found himself face to face with the Delancey Brothers, Morris and Oscar. He had only heard of them, but he knew that they weren't nice. Jack walked a step closer to them, smirking, "Now now, Fellas," he began, "I'm sure you don't wanna get beat up again like last time, unless you do?"

Oscar snorted, "Yeh right, you only drove us off because you had like eight more guys, but let's face it, you're just to scared to face us by yourself, so let's see what you can do when the odds are evened."

Oh GOSH IT'S AWFUL.

HERE, to wash your eyes, is an excerpt from my most recently posted fic, The Valentine's Day Curse:

There was a flash of dark blonde curls at the edge of her vision, and Wednesday turned to find Tyler awkwardly scanning the crowd. Without intending to, she found herself making her way over to him, and his eyes lit up eagerly when he saw her.

“Hey,” Tyler said slowly, raising an eyebrow at her a little mischievously.

“No,” Wednesday responded instantly. Tyler blinked.

“No, what?”

“No, I'm not going to kiss you.”

The overeager Normie boy was clearly disappointed. He shoved his hands into his pockets and furrowed his eyebrows at her. “Oh? Who's the lucky guy, then?”

Wednesday narrowed her eyes at him. “No one. I'm not kissing anyone.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her. Wednesday hated that he could somehow suspect that she was lying, but she kept her exterior stoic.

I'm not sure if either of these are very good representations of my writing progress but I got too lazy to look harder HAHA WELP. Now, I must get back to writing! Here's hoping I finish in time for AT LEAST day 1 and 2 of Weyler Week! (I doubt it but a girl can hope)

[themeaningofitall]

07/02/2023

This is the last night I’ll be sleeping in my house for some time. Tomorrow morning marks the beginning of my little whimsical adventure. I’m excited, truth be told, though not so much about the seventeen hour drive. On the bright side, I’ve heard it's scenic so there is that. I should hopefully arrive at my destination in the middle of nowhere Wednesday afternoon, if all goes well. For that I’ve spent the last two months procrastinating and thinking about everything I need to do and the past week doing most of that while telling everyone how busy I am. I really hope a change in environment will help me get rid of some negative habits like this one. I should likely have more free time and less distractions than ever before and I plan to take advantage of that. I packed all the books I’ve been wanting to read, all the notes I’ve written in the past year, and several journals. Though I have not decided whether or not I’ll continue with my school studies for the time being. 

Everyone I’ve told about this excursion has asked me the same thing. That being why I decided on something like this in the first place. The reasons for having chosen this particular volunteer program were purely practical. The reasons for wanting to leave home however, are much harder to articulate. Dissatisfaction is the simple and safe answer, but beyond that it becomes difficult to say with any accuracy what the cause or causes are. Nonetheless, I feel confident in having made a reasonable choice, and hope that I can come back a little wiser, healthier, and overall a better person. 

Lastly, I forgot to renew my license despite having written it in my planner about a dozen times; I really hope that doesn’t come back to bite me. My bags are packed and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m forgetting something, probably because I am. There are several other things I hoped to discuss, but predictably, I don’t have much time to write. I hope I can make up for that in the upcoming week. Until then, Thank you for reading.