#honey jokes

[punsify1]

Buzz Into 200+ Hilarious Bumble Bee Puns To Sweeten Your Day With A Sting Of Humor

Get ready to feel the buzz with our collection of 200+ bee-larious puns! Whether you’re a fan of wordplay or just looking for a good laugh, these bee-themed jokes will have you buzzing with joy and giggles.

Perfect for brightening your day, these puns celebrate the hardworking, honey-loving bees with humor that’s sweet as honey.

From clever one-liners to bee-inspired quips, this collection is sure to make you smile. So, grab a cup of tea, settle in, and let the laughter fly!

"You’ve got to bee-lieve it!" 🐝"Hive got a lot of love for you!" 🥰"What a buzzkill!" 😜"Bee careful what you wish for!" 🐝"You’re un-bee-lievable!" 😄"Buzzing with excitement!" 🐝"Bee sure to stay humble." 🐝"Honey, I’m home!" 🍯"Bee the change you want to see in the world." 🌎"You’re the queen bee of my heart!" 👑

Read: Buzzing with Laughter: 200+ Bee-larious Puns That Will Have You Buzzing with Joy and Giggles

[sophfandoms53]

Im fucking crying why did he say this, bro has never been outside before😭😭

[susie-dreemurr]

The “Gerald texting Linda everything is okay while he’s dying alone” and “Linda thinks she finally won her father’s respect only for him to remorselessly throw her to the wolves” got to me.

[harrowharkwife]

i'm so used to there just being random unidentified bones laying around everywhere in these damn books that it finally occurred to me, just now, to wonder where the bones on new rho came from. y'know, the bones palamedes always tried to teach nona necromancy on.

they're his.

palamedes, who always loved teaching, living on borrowed time in a body that's not his own. palamedes, mentoring, teaching- parenting, by sixth standards, mind you. and that boy is sixth, through and through.

and the entire point of teaching nona necromancy in the first place was to try and determine if nona is, well, nonagesimus, right? so it has to be bones, it can't not be bones. bones are, like, her whole thing.

but they're not in the nine houses, anymore. things are different, on new rho.

they burn bones here. dig up the cemeteries. a society terrified of zombies will evolve to dispose of its dead differently.

the only bones he has access to now are his own. (camilla wouldn't let anyone take them- skull or hand, doesn't matter. they're still him, and she doesn't let go, remember? it's her one thing.)

palamedes woke up every morning wearing someone else's body to then gently place the shrapnel of his own in the cupped palms of a girl who's the closest thing he'll ever have to a daughter and try to teach her- how did the angel put it, again? normal school, as much as possible, for as long as possible.

(but hey, in a roundabout way, at least it's a chance for him to touch camilla again, right? nevermind that she's not there to feel any of it because he's in the driver's seat, that he can only stay for fifteen minutes at a time. it's atoms that belong to camilla touching atoms that used to belong to him, and that's close enough. he'll take what he can get, these days- if she can be their flesh, he can be the end. so what if holding his own bones is a mindfuck? so what if looking at them makes him nauseous? surely he can suck it up and deal with it for fifteen minutes. it's the least he can do— his poor camilla was the one who had to scrape the bloody pulp of them off the floors of canaan house.)

(speaking of, here's a fun fact: we actually only see nona practicing with the bones one time, on-page. camilla's final line in that scene, before palamedes takes over, is none other than: 'keep going. there are some bones left.' ow!)

remember, too, that the only part of dulcinea, the real dulcinea, that palamedes ever physically touched, was her tooth- the one that ianthe gave him, pulled from the ashes cytherea burnt her down to. he only ever touched dulcie once, and it wasn't until after she was already gone, but that doesn't matter- it still happened, and you can't take loved away.

in this same roundabout, bittersweet, by-proxy sort of way, palamedes has been physically touched by nona, too: the atoms she currently occupies, touching atoms that he used to occupy, and never will again.

the main interaction we've seen between palamedes and his mother took place back on the sixth, with her acting as mentor and him as pupil: the two of them studying a set of hand bones, juno encouraging him every step of the way.

we know that harrowhark's "most vivid memory of her mother was of her hands guiding harrow's over an inexpertly rendered portion of skull, her fingers encircling the fat baby bracelets of harrow's wrists, tightening this cuff to indicate correct technique."

they're still small for a nineteen year old, but the wrists are bigger, in this new set of memories nona's making. and it's not an inexpertly rendered portion of skull anymore- it's a hand, now, albeit one crafted from [a piece of skull reassembled (painstakingly—passionately—laboriously reassembled) from fragments, manually, and not by a bone magician, from the skull of someone who, soon after death or symptomatically during, had exploded.] and the identity and origin of these bones is no mystery at all. they belong to palamedes, and he's consented to their use for this purpose, and that matters.

but the details are just set dressing, really. the foundation of the memory is the same.

palamedes and his mother, juno and her son.

harrow and her mother; pelleamena and her daughter.

nona and her father-mother-teacher; palamedes and his daughter.

[dreamaze]

JH: I hope the two people next to me kiss me. CK: ( ˶˘ ³˘)~♡ MH: ❌

[chrliekclly]

[cozylittleartblog]

diversity win your spam emails are queer

[lulublack90]

Prompt 29 - Bodyguard AU

@wolfstarmicrofic April 29, word count 490

James had been Sirius’s bodyguard for years. They’d long ago turned from guard and principal to friends. Sirius didn’t take risks without telling James and James was a bit more relaxed about the strict rules he’d been given by the custodians of the House of Black. They had to hide their friendship, of course, if any of those old bats were around, but all in all, Sirius had quite a pleasant life.

Out of the blue, his brother, Regulus, requested James’s services on a trip to Paris. Sirius had argued but, in the end, relented when his old friend asked him for permission as it was an extended trip and he’d feel better knowing Regulus had someone competent with him and not like the last one who’d gotten distracted by a beauty in a red dress and lost sight of Regulus. 

“I’ve got an old buddy from my unit who’s said he can cover me here.” James had told him once he’d agreed. Sirius didn't see any problem with this as James had never steered him wrong.

He appraised the lanky man before him. 

“Is this some sort of joke? How exactly are you meant to protect me?” He scoffed when Remus had entered the lounge area on his first day. 

Quick as the wind, Remus was behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and throat, pinning him against his chest, a small blade pressed into his throat. He let Sirius go almost as quickly as he’d captured him. The furious wildness that roared from his face and eyes nearly made Sirius swoon. He gasped as he realised he’d stopped breathing. 

He was so much stronger than he looked. That hideous knitted jumper hid wiry muscles. Muscles grown from use and not just for vanity. 

Remus straitened from his broad stance and left without a word. Sirius tried to chase after him to apologise. He opened the door and ran face-first into Remus’s back. He’d already stationed himself in front of the door. Sirius bounced off him and landed on the soft carpet, dazed. 

He had to blink a few times to clear his head and when he did, the sight that beheld him nearly sent him back into that stupor. Remus was towering over him, a look of concern on his face. 

“Are you alright?” Remus asked, grasping Sirius by the arms and hauling him to his feet. Sirius stumbled slightly and braced his hands against Remus’s chest. He swallowed hard as his eyes met Remus’s honey-coloured ones. Remus blinked a few times, his breath hitching once before he carefully extracted himself from Sirius and returned to his post.

This was going to be a hard two months if their first meeting had Sirius ready to jump him. He went and took a very long, very cold shower, trying his hardest to ignore the images of those molten honey eyes staring into his soul, flickering through his mind.  

[dawnofiight]

Guy: How inappropriate of you to ask me if I prefer Breast or Thighs, honey, we're in public.

Honey: we are at kfc.

[madame-helen]

[applepie-enthusiast]

Y'ALL

let's create an Ouran High School Host Club ft. The Hashira

giyuu as haruhi, please

kiss kiss watch the vase, giyuu.

so much potential for all the ships tbh, but I have trouble deciding who is who, so kindly help (im already laughing so much, thank you "sakura kiss" for playing on my spotify playlist)

it will be a series of polls.

[tentacle-therapissed]

Matilda is a crazy book cause it starts out like ‘this little girl was super smart and loved to read :) and sometimes she used her smarts to play pranks on her shitty family :)’ and you’re like ‘wow good for her!! i hope her life gets easier once she starts going to school’ and then she starts going to school and develops telekinetic superpowers via emotional dysregulation that she subsequently uses to psychologically torment her principal into confessing that she murdered her brother-in-law and made it look like a suicide in order to seize control of her niece’s trust fund. And then Matilda’s entire family has to flee the country because it turns out her dad has been stealing cars and they’re all being hunted by the FBI

[miyaheestar]

dear erik, it has been 3 months since last i saw my beloved husband named guy. i just want my husband to be back, erik. bring back my husband. going to a war of pizza deliveries for 3 months is enough, erik. if the next hbs isn't going to be guy i will hunt you down.

signed, sunflower honey.

[extasiswings]

Buck making random af and unnecessary comments about sex and sexuality particularly directed at Eddie, including Eddie’s romantic history and sex life is so…baby boy honey bear light of my life I know you’re having a crisis with your internalized biphobia and repressed queerness and it’s easier to project that onto your boy best friend who you’re in love with and have always been convinced is straight but please just kiss a boy and go calm down

[heavnlyhetfield]

aaaaaand there’s another one

[hattoriscap]

for science. does dan seem the type to call phil "love" unironically?