#honestly this was half an excuse to just to draw him for once

[hiding-under-the-willow]

Cool guys don't look at explosions

[pocketjoong]

Fashionable Fate

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (SYNOPSIS): You go to a launch event for a fashion line and end up seeing your boyfriend there.

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (PAIRING): Model!Hongjoong x fem!reader

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (GENRE AND AU/TROPE): fluff. smut. fashion au. established relationship. nsfw.

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (WARNINGS): joong and reader are whipped for each other. some angst. smut. hj giving reader a handjob! Not beta-read. Not even proofread tbh.

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (WORD COUNT): 3k-ish

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (A/N): I wrote this a LONG time ago and it's been sitting in my drafts for more than a year now... I don't honestly know where I was going with this one so... the ending might seem rushed, idk? Anyways, pls rb if you like it!

You’re glad you decided to attend the after-party for a launch event of a well-known designer. Perched on a stool at the bar, tucked away in the shadows, you find yourself captivated by him. He moves through the crowd with the same ease he wormed into your heart, greeting everyone like old friends, immersing himself in each conversation. It's as if he's the sun, radiating warmth and kindness, creating a safe haven for those around him.

You watch in awe as he lights up the room, becoming the centre of attention without even trying. There's something magnetic about him, drawing people in like moths to a flame. An involuntary smile graces your lips when he laughs at something said by the waiter who brings him a flute of champagne. And when he raises his hand to grab the stem of the glass, you suck in a breath when you notice the ring he’s wearing—a jade band encircled by a golden dragon that weaves in and out of sight. It warms your heart how he never takes it off, even when he walks for other brands.

Your eyes follow his hand as he brings the flute to the fullness of his lips and licks them before nodding at whatever the model he’s talking to is saying. Glasses perched on the bridge of his nose to complete his fit, he looks regal, like a prince who lost his way and ended up at the wrong party despite being dressed in a satin shirt that is tucked neatly into his pants.

As if aware of your gaze on him, he turns his head, eyes locking with yours effortlessly. His eyes widen a bit as if noticing you for the first time during the course of the night. It probably is, for you had just arrived a few minutes ago and made a beeline for the bar; you needed a drink in your system before you could even think of mingling with the guests in the pretentious world of high fashion—a world you are a part of as well.

He excuses himself, not caring that he just cut off someone in the middle of the sentence and saunters over to you, only stopping mid-stride to put his glass of half-finished champagne on a table. When he reaches you, he smiles. The warmth of his gaze is the sun itself, igniting your soul in a way only he can. The closer he gets to you, the more his walls seem to lower—something that has always been reserved for you and only you. You wonder if he can feel it, the pounding of your heart and the way warmth blossoms in your chest every time you find yourself being the centre of his attention. Maybe he does, after all, if the way his smile gets wider is anything to go by.

“Starlight,” he greets you, bending slightly to slot his lips against yours in a soft kiss. He tastes like chocolate and champagne, and you find yourself chasing his lips when you break away from each other. Hongjoong smiles giddily, pressing his soft lips against yours once more and releasing a pleased hum when you suck lightly at his bottom lip. His knuckles come to graze your cheek when you lean away, a feather-light touch that leaves trails of fire in its wake, “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“I didn’t know I’d be here, either,” you smile up at him, gazing into his caramel eyes hidden behind the slightly tinted lenses of the glasses he’s wearing. You notice that the crystals stuck beneath his right eye for the runway are still there, “Ella convinced me to go; something about being someplace that’s not my office or our apartment and getting a break from breaking my back at the workstation.”

Hongjoong chuckles, the sound reminds you of the smoothness of silk underneath your touch. Your fingers reach upwards to adjust his collar, a couple of buttons at his chest are undone, and the shirt is a bit too skewed to the left much to your distaste. When you tug at his shirt, it causes another round of fond chuckles to leave his lips, “It’s not your job, not here, not tonight.”

You shrug, moving the collar a bit so that the pendant he’s wearing can be seen properly, “Old habits die hard, mon chéri. I’ll not have you looking less than perfect even in the after-party of another brand. After all, just because you do shows for other brands doesn’t change the fact that you’re the face of La Vie en Rose.”

“Well, there’s no other place I’d rather be, as the face of your brand, your muse, or your lover. I don’t care as long as long as I get to be beside you,” Hongjoong whispers, brushing his nose against yours, his smile bright enough to rival the sun. At that moment, as you drown in his affection while he smiles boyishly, you are reminded that despite your achievements, despite the two of you being a force to reckon with in the fashion industry, you’re just two people in love.

“I’d not have it any other way, Joong,” you smile and then glance down at his hand, which has found a purchase against your waist. “I’m surprised Miyeon let you wear the ring.”

He snorts, finally settling down on the empty bar stool on your right. Hongjoong picks up the whiskey glass you had been nursing before he walked up to you and takes a long sip, humming in appreciation when the smooth taste hits his tongue, “Well, it was either she let me wear it or not get me to agree to the show. The lack of response to her ready-to-wear Fall collection after I refused to model for her show a few months back changed her mind.”

“You're evil,” you shake your head despite the warmth that blossoms in your heart. You know he knows how much it means to you, him not taking off the ring you painstakingly worked on—a gift for your second anniversary as a couple. You still remember the way his eyes teared up when he opened the jewellery box, at a loss for words as he studied the intricate detailing of the ring. But when he noticed the engraving on the inside, the lyrics to what you had dubbed your song, a sob broke free, and he kissed you like there was no tomorrow, thanking you over and over again with each press of his lips.

Hongjoong shrugs, allowing you to pluck the glass from his hand. You look at him from above the rim of the glass as you take a sip, biting back a smirk at the way his gaze lingers at your lips and moves downwards towards your neck as you swallow. When he looks back up to meet your eyes, you can't help but notice how they've darkened considerably.

You wake up to the gentle pitter-patter of raindrops on the windows. A cursory glance at the digital clock tells you it is past 6 a.m., too early for you to be awake. You can tell it has been raining for a while from the way the windows have fogged up. It’s chilly outside, you’re sure of it, but it’s toasty and warm in the room, mostly thanks to the way you’re snugly wrapped in a thick comforter, your limbs tangled with Hongjoong’s. He’s always warm, your personal little heater wherever you go.

You can’t help but smile at how the morning mirrors the day you met Hongjoong all those years ago; both of you were merely teenagers hoping to make your mark in a cruel world, stumbling through the days in search of your own path.

You walk along the Han River, trying to clear your head after the disaster that was today. You close your eyes to feel the breeze flitting across your face. You slept through your alarm, missed the train and the bus, and spilt coffee all over your white blouse. By the time you finally made it to the office, things went from bad to worse. Most of your designs were rejected, and then your computer crashed while you were writing a report for the head designer. Seven pages of work were gone in an instant.

Just when you thought the day couldn’t get any worse, the head designer dumped a huge new project on you that ate up the rest of your evening. You ended up staying late, and then the head designer had the audacity to take credit for your work during the emergency meeting with the organisers.

Despite being exhausted and frustrated, you take a detour and walk along the Han River for the sake of your own sanity. Little did you know that decision would come to bite you in your backside. Within minutes, the sky opens up and unleashes a torrent of freezing rain upon you, soaking you from head to toe. With a resigned sigh, you turn back towards the nearest bus stop, hoping to get home before the cold seeps into your bones.

But the universe has other plans. Halfway there, the wind picks up, howling through the trees and sending shivers down your spine. You wrap your arms tightly around yourself, trying desperately to generate some warmth. It's no use—you’re shaking like a leaf, teeth chattering together. Suddenly, the rain abruptly stops. You blink in disbelief, looking up to see that mere feet away, raindrops are still falling steadily. Confused, you look up, and your breath catches in my throat.

There, holding an umbrella above his head, is the most gorgeous boy you've ever laid eyes on—and that’s saying something because you work with models all day. Your gaze locks with his, and he gives you a sweet smile.

“I’m sorry for startling you,” his voice is smooth, you note. It reminds you of the warmth and richness of hot chocolate, and it is as sweet as one, too. “I just—you were walking in the rain, and since we seem to be going in the same direction, I’d feel like a horrible person if I didn’t at least do something, especially because you are shivering.”

You tilt your head, blinking up at him in confusion, wondering if people can be this kind. It has been a while since someone was nice to you without wanting something from you. You can’t help but tear up a bit, his kindness making your heart clench after the horrid day you’ve had.

“Thank you,” you say, but your voice breaks, making the boy gasp. His eyes widen, and he stutters out an apology, causing you to clear your throat. “I’m sorry, just—I had a horrible day, and your consideration sort of… made me tear up.”

“Oh? I don’t mean to overstep or anything, but you must work with terrible people if something as trivial as me sharing my umbrella made you so emotional.”

You chuckle and shake your head, “Something like that. Though working in the fashion industry makes you kinda mean… especially with all the deadlines.”

“Oh, wow,” you can tell your answer is something he wasn’t expecting. “You work in the fashion industry too?”

“Too?” You frown, staring at him inquisitively.

“I’m a model, I’m still doing smaller shows right now, but I hope that I can walk for big brands one day,” he stares directly at you now that you’re at the bus stop. He can see you better now that you don’t need to worry about walking or getting drenched in the rain. You notice then that his caramel eyes are enchanting; there is a fire in them that you seem to have lost working under the head designer.

Sensing his curiosity, you decide to give him an answer, “I work for Aria…”

The male gasps, eyes shining like the stars in the night sky at the brand name that leaves your lips, “I bet you are very talented to work at Aria. Have you ever thought of starting your own label?”

You smile wistfully, “I have. I still have to learn a lot before I do that, though.”

“Well, I hope you get to do that,” his smile is dazzling, but his lips form a pout as he mulls over his next words. “Um… Would it be weird if I asked you to let me model for your label if you decide to establish your own fashion line?”

It is at that moment that the bus arrives, and you realise it is the one you’re supposed to take. You gasp, gathering everything and boarding the bus. Dropping your things on an empty seat and looking out of the window, you shout, “You’ve got a deal! I swear if you refuse to walk for my label after I establish it, I will haunt you in your dreams.”

The last thing you see is the boy laughing at your words and waving at you.

The sound of thunder overhead brings you out of your memories, and you smile at the male curled up right next to you. In the dim light of the rainy morning, he looks ethereal. His dark hair is messy from the way you had run your fingers through it last night after returning from the after-party. Unconsciously but gently, your fingers begin threading through his hair, eliciting a sigh from Hongjoong. He shifts, moving closer to press his lips against your collarbone before nuzzling his face into the curve of your neck.

“Good morning, mon chéri,” you chuckle, feeling him smile against your skin. “What’s got you all smiley this morning, mmhm?”

“We have the whole day to ourselves,” Hongjoong giggles, his hand brushing against the sliver of the skin of your back that is exposed by your camisole riding up. “I was thinking we could go visit Yeosang’s art exhibition.”

“Isn’t the opening around 6 p.m., though?” You wonder out loud, distinctly remembering the time on the invitations sent by Hongjoong’s long-time friend.

Hongjoong hums, “Yeo asked me to drop by earlier, said he would give us a tour of the place before the event if we want.”

“And you want to, don’t you?” You ask rhetorically, already knowing the answer.

“Please?”

“How can I ever say no to you?” You roll your eyes, shaking your head.

“Oh?” Hongjoong raises an eyebrow, his thumb tracing the curve of your cheekbone. He leans in closer, his breath warm against your skin as he whispers, “You can’t say no to me, huh? Even if I do this?”

Hongjoong's lips meet yours in a soft, tender kiss. His hand slides from your cheek to the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair as he deepens the kiss. You melt into him, your body pressing against his as you lose yourself in the sensation of his lips on yours.

“Especially when you do that,” you breathe after you pull back slightly, forehead resting against his as you catch your breath.

Hongjoong's hands slide down your sides, fingertips grazing over the curves of your waist and hips before settling on your thighs. He pushes the covers down, exposing your bare skin to the cool morning air. You shiver slightly, goosebumps rising on your flesh.

"Cold?" Hongjoong murmurs, his voice husky with desire.

"A little," you admit, smiling coyly up at him.

Hongjoong moves closer, his lips trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your jawline and down your neck. His hands continue their exploration of your body, sliding up your thighs and underneath your nightshirt. Fingertips brush against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, making you gasp and arch into his touch.

"Hongjoong..." you moan softly, your hands fisting in the sheets beneath you.

He responds by nipping lightly at your earlobe, tongue flicking out to soothe the sting. One hand slips higher, fingers teasing the edge of your panties. You can feel the heat of his palm against your core, and you press yourself against his hand, desperate for more contact.

Hongjoong chuckles lowly, the vibrations sending sparks of pleasure through your body. "Patience, love," he whispers. “I’ll make you feel good, I promise.”

His hand slips inside your panties, fingers parting your slick folds with practised ease. He circles your clit slowly, teasingly, drawing out a breathy moan from your lips. His other hand slides up your camisole, cupping your breast and kneading the soft flesh. Thumb and forefinger pinch and roll your nipple, sending jolts of electricity straight to your core.

“Fuck,” You gasp, fisting the sheets beneath you. “Just… ngh… like that.”

Hongjoong increases the pressure on your clit, rubbing faster and harder, matching the rhythm of your hips as they thrust against his hand. Two fingers slip inside you, curling and stroking your inner walls, hitting that sweet spot that makes you see stars.

Your head falls back against the pillows, mouth open in a silent cry of ecstasy. Hongjoong takes advantage of the position, latching onto your exposed throat and sucking hard enough to leave a mark. Each action of his heightens your pleasure, and you're quickly spiralling towards the edge.

“M’close,” you warn him, one of your hands tangling in his silky locks.

"That's it, baby," Hongjoong encourages, fingers pumping faster while his tongue laves against your throat. "Come for me. Let go."

And with a final twist of his wrist, you do. Your orgasm crashes over you like a tidal wave, muscles contracting and releasing around his fingers. Hongjoong doesn't stop his ministrations even as you ride out the waves of your climax. He continues to stroke and circle your clit, coaxing out every last bit of pleasure until you're trembling and oversensitive. Only then does he withdraw his hand, bringing his glistening fingers to his mouth for a taste.

"Delicious," he murmurs appreciatively, eyes dark with desire. “What do you say we indulge ourselves a little before we head out and go see Yeo?”

You smirk, pulling him closer, relishing the feeling of his body against yours. “I love the sound of that,” you purr, your voice dripping with anticipation as your lips meet his in another kiss.

[frozenmxngo]

✧*̥˚ In Between the Lines | Choi Beomgyu *̥˚✧

✧ beomgyu x selective mutism fem!reader ✧ summary: y/n, a university student with selective mutism, finding solace in solitude. when beomgyu, a curious music student, starts noticing her, their paths cross, and he learns to navigate her silence. ✧ warnings: panic attacks, social anxiety, mute!reader, swearing, angst, verbal abuse, eventual smut, virgin!reader, slow burn?, trauma, fluff, a bit of self-hatred (let me know if i missed anything! i’ll add more tags for each part as needed) ✧ part one, word count 14k

✧ an: helloo, honestly i wanted to use this fic to spread awareness for selective mutism as a lot of people are unaware of it, i hope this can help people be more understanding and patient with others. ty, i hope you enjoy the read!

MASTERLIST next »

The library was quiet, the hum of the air conditioning blending with the faint rustle of pages and the soft clack of keyboards. Y/N sat at a small table in a tucked-away corner, surrounded by open books and notes. It was her safe haven, away from the chaos of campus life. Shelves upon shelves of books surrounded her like a fortress, muffling the outside world. 

Large bay windows let sunlight pour in, casting a warm glow over the silent corner of the library. Her notebook lay open on the table, half-filled with neat, tiny sketches of animals—an owl perched on a branch, a cat curled up asleep, a bunny mid-hop.

She didn’t notice him at first, too focused on the notes sprawled across her desk. With a big test looming next week, her attention was locked on the video playing softly through her headphones. Her pen hovered above the page, but instead of jotting down key points, she found herself sketching a tiny mouse in the notebook’s margin.

Beomgyu, on the other hand, was anything but quiet as he weaved through the aisles, earbuds in, barely paying attention to where he was going. He wasn’t reckless, just distracted, his focus split between the music blaring in his ears and his search for a textbook he desperately needed for his next assignment. He wasn’t much of a library person—too quiet, too stuffy—but today, he was desperate. 

Beomgyu had been wandering the library for what felt like hours, his eyes scanning the shelves with no success. The textbook he needed was nowhere to be found. He checked the library’s online system twice already, double-checking the section he was once in before, but it still wasn’t showing up. In reality, though, it had only been half an hour.

A sense of helplessness started to creep in. He wasn’t used to asking for help. He liked figuring things out on his own, but right now, he was at a dead end.

Frustrated, he let out a sigh and dragged his hand through his hair, turning to look at the rows of books around him. That’s when he saw her—sitting at a table in a quiet corner, her head bent low as she scribbled something in her notebook.

Beomgyu blinked for a moment, momentarily distracted by the scene. He hadn’t noticed her before, but there was something about her that drew his attention. Her focus seemed unshakable, and the way her pen moved across the page made him pause.

But then he realized something: the music blaring in his ears was so loud, that he could barely hear his own thoughts, let alone anything happening around him. He fumbled with the earbuds, awkwardly tugging them out of his ears with one hand, hoping to avoid drawing attention to himself. His music, still playing loudly, thumped through the air, and he quickly scrambled to turn it off.

He winced, realizing just how distracted he had been by the music. He probably looked ridiculous.

After a brief moment of awkwardness, he gathered himself. “Excuse me,” Beomgyu said, taking a few strides over to the girl. 

Y/N didn’t look up at first. Her headphones were on, but the volume wasn’t high enough to block out the world entirely. She’d grown used to the assumption that no one would ask her for help. It was rare.

Beomgyu cleared his throat, more self-conscious now. “Excuse me,” he tried again, his voice quieter this time, trying to avoid sounding out of place. He took a few more steps toward her, his voice still hesitant, though more intentional this time. “I’m looking for a Music Theory book. Do you know where it is? Or, um, any books on music?”

Y/N’s pen paused mid-stroke. She didn’t look up immediately, as though she were processing his words. Her fingers hovered over the notebook for a moment, before gently putting the pen down.

Beomgyu shifted his weight from one foot to the other, a strange tension knotting in his stomach. He wasn’t used to feeling this nervous, especially not when asking for help. Normally, he was the type to speak his mind, loud and clear, without a second thought. But something about the silent library and her focused, unbothered presence made him second-guess himself.

Why was he suddenly so awkward? He'd approached strangers for help plenty of times before. Was it the stillness of the library? Or maybe it was the way she was taking her time, processing everything so calmly like she was in no rush to answer him. It felt different than usual, and he wasn’t sure how to handle it.

When she finally did glance up at him, a faint flush spread across her cheeks. Recognition flickered in her mind—he was in her lecture, always a bit too loud, usually with his friends, his voice always cutting through the room. The sudden focus on her made her feel small, as though she were being pulled out of her quiet world. She hesitated, her eyes flickering between him and her notebook, trying to figure out how to navigate this. Her mind raced, knowing she couldn’t react the way others might, and for a brief moment, the silence between them felt deafening.

“Uh, I took a photo of the section where it’s supposed to be, but... I swear the section must’ve been moved,” Beomgyu said, his voice tinged with discomfort as the silence stretched on. He pulled his phone from his pocket and awkwardly shoved it in front of her face.

Y/N’s gaze dropped to his phone screen, her eyes scanning the library catalog photo. She quickly noticed the error—it was mislabeled, and she immediately knew where the books had been relocated. The music books had once been in the section he showed her, but now they’d been moved to the history section; the two categories had swapped. She knew this simply from the countless hours she’d spent in the library.

Her eyes darted briefly back to his face before she stood up, her movements slow but deliberate. She gave him a small, wordless nod, avoiding his gaze as she stepped past him. Without a word, she made her way toward the section where the history books used to be. 

Beomgyu fell into step beside her, his hands buried in his pockets as he tried to think of something to say. The silence was starting to feel a little too heavy, so he took a deep breath, deciding to break it.

“So, uh, do you come here often?” he asked, hoping to make the situation a little less awkward. “I mean, it’s pretty quiet. A good place to focus, right?”

Y/N’s eyes flickered briefly toward him before she quickly looked away, focusing ahead as she walked. She wasn’t used to being the center of attention, and now, with Beomgyu walking beside her, she felt the weight of every step. Her fingers twitched, lightly fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve as she tried to calm the nervous energy building up.

Beomgyu noticed her fidgeting and quickly tried to back off, his voice quieter this time. “Sorry, I guess I’m just rambling,” he said, chuckling lightly. He scratched the back of his neck, feeling a bit embarrassed for not picking up on the cues that maybe she wasn’t in the mood for small talk.

Y/N’s eyes darted toward him, just for a moment, before she looked away quickly. She was still unsure of how to respond but decided it was easier to just let the silence sit. It was what she was most comfortable with.

Beomgyu glanced at her, studying her subtle movements. She wasn’t giving much away, but something about her quiet presence made him want to keep trying. He had a knack for talking to people—usually. So why did it feel so different now?

“I’m Beomgyu, by the way,” he added after a beat, his voice soft enough to match the library’s quiet atmosphere. “Not that, you know, you were dying to know or anything. Just thought I’d introduce myself.”

Y/N’s grip on her sleeve tightened slightly, her pace steady but her mind racing. She didn’t dare meet his eyes again, unsure if acknowledging him would invite more conversation or make things more awkward. She gave him a slight nod, not even sure if he had caught it or not. 

They turned a corner, the rows of books stretching ahead of them like endless possibilities. Beomgyu’s gaze flicked between her and the shelves as he tried to gauge whether she was annoyed, shy, or just indifferent. He wasn’t used to feeling this uncertain.

As they approached the section where the music books had been relocated, Y/N slowed her steps. She hesitated, briefly scanning the spines of the books before pointing to a specific shelf. Her small gesture was precise, her hand lingering just long enough to guide him.

Beomgyu followed her gaze, then backtracked to where her finger had pointed. “Oh, here it is! You’re a lifesaver,” he said with genuine relief, pulling the textbook off the shelf.

Y/N gave a faint nod, her eyes fixed on the floor as she took a small step back, giving him space.

“Do you, uh, study here often?” Beomgyu asked, trying to keep the conversation alive. “I mean, you seem to know this place like the back of your hand.”

Y/N’s face flushed deeper as she glanced up at him, their eyes meeting for the briefest moment. She gave a small nod before quickly looking away, her gaze flitting to the books on the shelf—anywhere but his face.

Beomgyu tilted his head slightly, curiosity sparking in his expression. He couldn’t help but be intrigued. She hadn’t spoken a single word to him. In all his life, he’d never had an interaction quite like this. Sure, he’d met shy people before, but even then, he’d always managed to get at least a word or two out of them.

“Oh,” he said, his voice softening as understanding dawned. “That’s pretty cool. No wonder you knew exactly where to go.”

He let out a light chuckle, his usual confidence tempered by the realization that this wasn’t the time for his typical charm. “Really, though, thanks. I’d probably be pacing these aisles for the next hour if you hadn’t stepped in.”

Y/N met his gaze for just a second before offering a small, shy smile, her fingers lightly brushing the hem of her sleeve.

Beomgyu shifted the book in his hands, unsure if he should say more or let the silence linger. For someone who thrived on conversations and easy banter, this felt foreign—yet oddly intriguing. There was something about her that pulled him in, even without words.

He glanced at her again, watching as she took a half step back, her eyes flickering to the shelves as if searching for an exit. Not wanting to push too far, he cleared his throat, offering a tentative smile.

“So… Do you work here or something? Or are you just, like, the unofficial library expert?” he asked, trying to keep the mood light.

Y/N hesitated, her lips parting slightly as if she wanted to respond but didn’t. Instead, she just shook her head, her small smile returning for a brief moment before she looked down at her shoes.

Beomgyu nodded, not sure what else to say but also reluctant to let her slip away just yet. “Well, you definitely saved me. I owe you one. Maybe… I can return the favor someday?”

Her head tilted slightly at his words, and though she didn’t respond, her expression softened, as if the offer had caught her off guard in a good way.

Before he could overthink it, Beomgyu laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Or, you know, I’ll just try not to get lost next time.” He gestured to the book. “Anyway, thanks again. Seriously.”

Y/N gave a small nod and took a step back toward her corner of the library, her movements quiet but deliberate. Beomgyu watched her retreat, his mind already racing with curiosity about the girl who had barely said anything but somehow left an impression.

As he turned to leave, his footsteps slowing, he found himself glancing over his shoulder, wondering if she’d look back at him.

And she did. The moment his back was turned, Y/N raised her eyes, her gaze following him as he walked away. There was a flicker of something in her expression—curiosity, maybe, or a faint trace of amusement—but when Beomgyu didn’t turn again, she let out a hushed breath and returned to her seat.

The library was Y/N’s sanctuary—a place where she could exist quietly, without the weight of expectations pressing down on her. But as the sun dipped below the horizon and the warm glow of the street lights flickered on, she found herself heading back home, her silent retreat fading behind her.

Home was a different kind of quiet. It wasn’t the peaceful stillness of the library but a silence filled with tension, unspoken words, and carefully maintained boundaries.

Y/N slipped through the front door, her movements silent and deliberate as she kicked off her shoes. Her dad was in the living room, the soft murmur of the TV playing a news channel filling the space.

“Hey, sweetie,” he greeted, glancing up briefly. He was one of the few people she could speak to comfortably, but even then, her words were rare. She offered a small smile in response, her eyes darting toward the stairs.

Her stepmother’s voice echoed sharply from the kitchen, tinged with irritation. “You’re late again. Dinner’s been on the table for an hour.” She emerged into the living room, arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

Y/N froze, unsure how to respond. She gave a small, dismissive nod toward her bag, a quiet way of saying she’d been at school, but her gaze never lifted. The floor seemed safer to focus on.

“Figures,” Her stepmother muttered, the frustration in her tone clear. “You always lose track of time, don’t you?”

Y/N didn’t respond. She simply slid past her stepmother, the familiar weight of tension hanging in the air. She ascended the stairs to her room, the soft click of the door closing behind her bringing a wave of relief. The noise and expectations of the house faded away.

Her room, a quiet refuge, was exactly as she’d left it—shelves lined with books and small trinkets, her desk cluttered with notebooks and unfinished sketches. She sank into her chair, feeling the familiar warmth of the space wrap around her like a soft blanket. With a contented sigh, she grabbed the remote and flicked on her favorite drama, the low hum of the small TV filling the silence. As she began to sketch, the pencil moved instinctively across the paper, her fingers dancing to the rhythm of the drawing. She found herself humming softly, her lips curving into a smile as she let the characters on the screen distract her for a while. In this room, it was easy to forget the outside world. Here, she could giggle, whisper to herself, and just be—no pressure, no expectations.

A few days later, Beomgyu sat in the lecture hall, his focus flickering between the professor and the scribbled notes in front of him. His mind kept wandering back to Y/N, the girl who had quietly helped him in the library. The memory of her sketching in her notebook, so immersed in her own world, stuck with him. It felt odd that he hadn’t really noticed her before, considering how often they must have been in the same place. He couldn’t figure out why, but now, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

He had seen her once or twice in the halls before, but it was always fleeting—a brief glimpse as she walked past, her presence never lingering in his mind. It was only now, as he glanced around the lecture hall, that he realized she was sitting in the same class. Her name had never crossed his mind, and he certainly hadn’t noticed her before, but there she was, standing up and packing her bag as the lecture ended.

A strange realization hit him, and for a moment, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. She was so calm, moving with that quiet grace he’d seen before. His heart raced a little. This was his chance—he had to talk to her. He had to know her name.

Without thinking, he stood up quickly, trying to weave his way through the sea of students heading for the door. His eyes stayed fixed on her, determined not to lose sight of her this time. When he finally opened his mouth, he called out to her, his voice cutting through the chatter in the room. “Hey!”

Just as he was about to push through the crowd to catch up, he felt a hand grab his arm. It was Taehyun, his friend’s grip firm as he pulled Beomgyu’s attention away.

“Beomgyu, wait up!” Taehyun’s voice was a mix of impatience and excitement. “I need to ask you something before you head out.”

Beomgyu’s gaze flickered from Y/N, who was making her way toward the door, to Taehyun. His heart sank as he realized he’d lost his chance to talk to her.

"Ah, come on, I’ll only be a minute," Taehyun continued, unaware of Beomgyu’s internal struggle.

Beomgyu hesitated, torn, but Taehyun was already steering him away. He shot one last glance at the door where Y/N had just disappeared, frustration bubbling up inside him. He hadn’t even gotten close enough to say anything.

Across the room, Y/N had heard Beomgyu call out to her, his voice cutting through the chatter like a sudden unexpected burst of noise. Her eyes flickered back toward him for a brief moment, catching the earnestness in his expression, before quickly looking away. The tension in her chest flared—was he expecting her to speak? To respond? She wasn’t sure she could handle it.

Her anxiety gnawed at her, whispering doubts in her ear. She couldn’t disappoint him. The skin on her palms felt clammy, and her fingers twitched slightly at her sides. The tightness in her chest made it harder to breathe, her heart thudding faster than the noise of the students around her. With a quiet breath, she pushed herself forward, her steps quickening as she made her way to the exit, each one carrying her farther from the conversation she couldn’t bring herself to have.

Y/N stepped out of the lecture hall, the weight of her thoughts pressing on her chest. The bustling noise of students moving between classes surrounded her, but it all felt distant—muted like she was underwater. She clutched the strap of her bag tightly, her knuckles pale, as she made her way across campus, her head lowered to avoid the curious glances of strangers.

Her mind replayed the moment Beomgyu’s voice cut through the crowd, his tone almost hopeful. She’d seen the way he looked at her like he was trying to bridge some unspoken gap. And she’d ignored him.

Her heart clenched, the guilt nagging at her. Why didn’t I just stop? The question circled in her mind, but her anxiety offered no answers—just a familiar wave of self-doubt. She had felt so sure in that moment that she couldn’t face him, but now the decision left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Without a clear destination, Y/N wandered toward the quieter part of campus. A shaded bench under a tree caught her attention, and she sank onto it, letting out a shaky sigh. Her hands fidgeted with the strap of her bag. The crisp air felt sharp against her flushed cheeks, but it did little to calm the storm inside her. Her guilt, no longer just a whisper, grew louder with each passing second, her thoughts pulling her in circles. She let out a shaky breath, her fingers tightening around the worn fabric of the strap of her bag.

Why couldn’t she stop? Why couldn’t she just turn around, meet his eyes, and… do something? Anything? She’d seen the look on Beomgyu’s face—earnest, almost hopeful—and yet she’d walked away. Her chest tightened, a familiar ache spreading through her ribs as her mind replayed the moment over and over, each time adding more weight to the sinking feeling in her stomach.

Her eyes fell to her lap, where her fingers now tugged at the hem of her sleeve. She wanted to cry, but no tears came—just the dull, suffocating heaviness of disappointment in herself. She pressed her lips into a thin line, her gaze drifting to the ground as students passed by, their chatter blending into a dull hum around her.

It wasn’t like Beomgyu had done anything wrong. He wasn’t pushy or rude—just curious. Kind, even. She groaned softly, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. A part of her wanted to go back, to find him and explain—though she wasn’t sure how to do that without using words. But another part of her—the louder part—convinced her it was better this way. She couldn’t let him down if she kept her distance.

The minutes ticked by, and Y/N stayed rooted to the bench, the world around her moving while she remained still.

A soft vibration in her pocket broke through Y/N’s spiraling thoughts. She pulled out her phone, blinking at the bright screen.

Jiwon: Hey, where are you? Are we still on for our study session??

Y/N’s heart sank, the weight of guilt pressing down on her chest. She’d completely forgotten. Her mind had been too preoccupied, overwhelmed by the wave of emotions she couldn’t seem to steady. The memory of Beomgyu’s voice calling out to her, the fleeting glance they’d shared, and the way she’d rushed out lingered, replaying in her mind like a broken record.

She stared at Jiwon’s message for a long moment, her fingers hovering over the keyboard.

Y/N: I’m so sorry! I forgot. I’ll be there soon!

Her thumb hovered over the send button, hesitation gripping her. A small part of her wanted to come up with an excuse, to avoid facing anyone right now. But Jiwon wasn’t just anyone. She was patient, understanding, and someone Y/N didn’t have to constantly explain herself to. If there was anyone she could lean on without judgment, it was Jiwon.

She sighed softly, pressing send. The message was delivered with a quiet whoosh, and Y/N slipped her phone back into her pocket. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment as she leaned back against the bench. The faint hum of campus life carried on around her. Students chatted as they walked by, their voices blending into a low murmur. It felt like the world was moving forward while she was stuck in place, weighed down by her thoughts.

“I need to get out of my head,” she whispered to herself, her voice so soft it was almost drowned out by the breeze.

Forcing herself to move, she stood up and slung her bag over her shoulder, her steps slow at first as she made her way across campus. The walk to the library gave her time to collect herself, though the heavy guilt still clung to her like a shadow. She replayed the moment in the lecture hall, questioning her reaction, wondering if Beomgyu had been disappointed or confused by her silence.

As she approached the library, the familiar sight of the towering building brought a small wave of comfort. Pushing the door open, Y/N stepped inside, her eyes scanning the rows of tables until she spotted Jiwon. Her friend was already settled near a window, her laptop open and a cup of coffee beside her. Jiwon glanced up, her face lighting up in a small smile when she saw Y/N.

“There you are,” Jiwon said warmly as Y/N approached. “I was starting to think you ditched me.”

Y/N shook her head, a faint smile tugging at her lips as she slipped into the chair across from Jiwon. She pulled out her notebook, the familiar action grounding her.

Sorry, she wrote quickly on the corner of the page before sliding it toward Jiwon.

Jiwon’s smile softened as she read the note. “Don’t worry about it. You okay?”

Y/N hesitated, her pen hovering over the paper. She wanted to say yes, to brush it off and pretend everything was fine. But Jiwon’s expectant gaze made her pause.

I had a rough day, she finally wrote, keeping the explanation short.

Jiwon nodded in understanding. “Well, if you need to talk—or write—I’m here.”

Y/N felt a warmth spread in her chest, the kind of comfort that came from being around someone who understood her without needing a thousand words.

She wrote back with a small smile.

Thanks

Jiwon reached for her coffee, taking a sip before changing the subject. “Okay, so, where should we start? I’ve got a million things to catch up on, and I could definitely use your help.”

As Jiwon launched into a conversation about their upcoming assignments, Y/N found herself relaxing, the tension from earlier slowly easing. For now, she let herself focus on the steady rhythm of studying and the quiet companionship of her friend.

After an hour of focused studying, Jiwon glanced up from her laptop, noticing that Y/N had grown quiet again, her usual energy a little more subdued. The silence between them had stretched longer than usual, and despite her attempts to distract herself with assignments, Jiwon couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

“You know,” Jiwon said, breaking the stillness, “I think it’s time for a snack. What do you say? The vending machine’s calling our names.”

Y/N looked up, eyes wide, as if caught off guard by the suggestion. She hadn’t said much since they’d settled in, and though Jiwon respected her space, she couldn’t help but worry.

Y/N hesitated, her pen still tapping gently against the notebook. Jiwon noticed the small details—the way her friend’s gaze flickered downward, avoiding her eyes.

“Come on,” Jiwon coaxed with a soft smile. “A little break will do us both good.”

Y/N gave a small nod, and together, they made their way to the vending machines, the sound of their footsteps the only noise in the quiet space. 

As they reached the vending machines, Jiwon casually scanned the selection, but her eyes kept darting back to Y/N, sensing the weight of her silence. 

“So,” Jiwon began, her voice light but tinged with concern, “what’s going on? You’ve been awfully quiet today, and I can tell something’s on your mind.”

Y/N glanced around the hall, her gaze flickering nervously before meeting Jiwon’s. “I…” she whispered softly, her words barely audible. “I’ll tell you when we get back to the table.” Her cheeks flushed as she grabbed a packet of cookies from the vending machine.

Y/N quickly returned to the table, her heart thudding in her chest. She couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about what she was about to say, even though Jiwon would never judge her. Her fingers tightened around the packet of cookies as she set it down, her gaze briefly meeting Jiwon’s expectant eyes.

Jiwon settled back into her chair, folding her arms across her chest, waiting patiently. She’d always given Y/N space when needed, but today, something felt different. She could tell her friend was carrying something heavy.

Y/N took a deep breath, her eyes glancing down at her notebook as she pulled it closer. The familiar act of writing helped her focus, and she quickly scribbled the words that had been bothering her.

I feel guilty for avoiding someone. I don’t know how to fix it.

She pushed the notebook toward Jiwon, her anxiety rising, hoping her friend would understand even though the words felt simple.

Jiwon didn’t immediately speak. She carefully read the note, her expression softening with understanding. After a long moment, she placed the notebook down and leaned forward, her voice quiet but filled with care.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jiwon said gently, meeting Y/N’s gaze. “Avoiding someone… it’s tough. But it’s also okay not to know what to do right away. You’re allowed to take your time to figure it out.”

Y/N nodded slowly, her heart easing a little at Jiwon’s comforting words.

Jiwon took a sip of her drink before speaking again, her tone playful but still full of understanding. “You know, I don’t think cookies are going to fix this, but it’s a good start. Want to talk more about it?”

Y/N chewed on her lip, feeling a bit of pressure to open up more. Maybe, just maybe, telling Jiwon a little more wouldn’t hurt.

Her mind was racing. She wasn’t sure how much she wanted to share, but something about Jiwon’s presence made her feel like it was safe to open up. After a long pause, she finally wrote again, her hand steadier now, but her heart still heavy.

It’s a boy from my lecture... He tried talking to me, but I got too nervous. I don’t know what to do.

She pushed the notebook toward Jiwon, her pulse quickening as the words hit the paper. It was the first time she was saying it out loud, even if it was just on paper.

Jiwon’s eyes widened as she read the note, and she looked up at Y/N with a soft, almost excited expression. “Wait, a boy from your lecture?” she repeated, her voice filled with surprise and a little bit of wonder.

Y/N nodded, her cheeks turning pink as she fidgeted with her hands.

Jiwon leaned forward, her eyes lighting up as if a whole new world had just opened up. “Oh my gosh, that’s so cute!” She grinned widely. “You’ve gotta talk to him! He likes you, I’m sure of it.” Jiwon’s voice softened as she continued, “I mean, it’s totally normal to feel nervous, but he wouldn’t have tried talking to you if he wasn’t interested, right?”

Y/N’s heart fluttered at Jiwon’s words, but the anxiety still lingered. Talking to him felt like a mountain she wasn’t sure she could climb.

“I don’t know if I can,” Y/N whispered, the feeling of self-doubt creeping back. She jotted down in the notebook once more.

What if I mess it up again?

Jiwon’s expression softened, her voice gentle but encouraging. “Hey, you don’t have to be perfect. Just talk to him when you’re ready. I want you to have fun with all this stuff, you know? Talk to boys, go on dates—just do all the girly things I’ve been dying for you to experience!” She paused, giving Y/N a playful look. “Besides, he’ll probably think you’re super cute the way you are.”

Y/N couldn’t help but feel a little warmth spread through her chest at Jiwon’s support. Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to take the first step. After all, Jiwon had a way of making things feel easier, even when they seemed impossible.

Y/N hesitated, her pen hovering over the notebook. She glanced at Jiwon, who waited patiently, her head tilted slightly, curiosity sparkling in her eyes. Y/N took a steadying breath before starting to write.

His name is Beomgyu. I met him in the library a few days ago. He needed help finding a book, and I helped him.

She slid the notebook toward Jiwon and sat back, chewing on her lip again as her friend read.

Jiwon’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Oh, so this isn’t just some random guy! You’ve already talked to him before?”

Y/N hesitated, then nodded slightly, scribbling another note. Kind of. He talked. I pointed him to the book he needed. That’s it.

Jiwon’s lips curved into a teasing smile. “And what’s he like? What’s your impression of him so far?”

Y/N tapped her pen against the notebook for a moment before jotting down. He’s loud. That’s all I know.

Jiwon laughed softly, shaking her head. “Loud, huh? That’s kind of cute. So, why do you feel guilty about avoiding him? He doesn’t sound like the shy type—you think he noticed?”

Y/N’s cheeks flushed as she wrote. I don’t know. Maybe? He tried talking to me, and I just froze.

Jiwon’s smile softened. “I get why you feel bad, but it’s okay, Y/N. You didn’t mean to ignore him. It’s not like you were trying to be rude.”

Y/N nodded, but her pen started moving again, her words spilling out onto the page. I just feel bad because… he seems like the type of person who’s good at talking to everyone, and I couldn’t even say anything back.

Jiwon’s expression turned thoughtful, her voice gentle. “Well, if he’s the kind of person who talks to everyone, I’m sure he’s not going to be upset about it. He probably understands that not everyone’s as outgoing as him.”

Y/N glanced down, a small part of her feeling reassured.

Jiwon tilted her head, her tone shifting to something more playful. “So, what are you going to do if you see him again? Maybe help him find another book?”

Y/N shook her head quickly, her cheeks heating up as she wrote. I’ll probably just hide.

“Y/N!” Jiwon gasped dramatically, though her grin showed she wasn’t actually upset. “Don’t hide! Come on, you already helped him once. If he talks to you again, just smile or wave. Baby steps, okay?”

Y/N hesitated but eventually nodded, her lips twitching into a faint smile. Jiwon’s encouragement felt comforting, even if the idea of facing Beomgyu again still made her stomach twist with nerves.

Jiwon leaned back in her chair, stirring her drink idly. “So… Beomgyu. What kind of loud are we talking about? Like, constantly talking over everyone loud, or just someone who naturally fills a room?”

Y/N hesitated, tapping her pen against the edge of her notebook before writing. He’s confident. Like he knows what to say, and doesn’t overthink it.

Jiwon tilted her head, her lips curving into a curious smile. “Confident, huh? That’s an interesting word to use. So, he’s not just loud—he actually knows how to carry himself?”

Y/N nodded slightly, her cheeks warming as she wrote again He’s the type of person people probably notice right away. I mean… not in a bad way.

Jiwon grinned, leaning forward. “And you noticed him. That says something.”

Y/N’s hand froze mid-air, her face heating up. She quickly scribbled. Only because he came up to me in the library! He needed help finding a book.

Jiwon laughed softly, her tone teasing but gentle. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop connecting dots. So, what happened after that? Did he say something that stuck with you?”

Y/N thought back to their brief encounter, her stomach fluttering as she remembered his bright smile. She shook her head and wrote. No, not really. He was just… nice. But when he talked, I felt like I didn’t know how to respond.

Jiwon softened at that, her teasing replaced by concern. “Y/N, that’s okay. You were caught off guard—that doesn’t mean you messed up or did anything wrong.”

Y/N pressed her lips together before writing. But what if I see him again?

Jiwon leaned back in her chair, her expression thoughtful. “If you see him again… like I said before, take baby steps. Just give him a smile, show him you’re not avoiding him. You don’t have to say anything—just a simple nod and that beautiful smile of yours.”

Y/N hesitated, her pen tapping lightly against the notebook. Jiwon was always so good at talking to boys, and Y/N trusted her advice… Not that she was trying to impress Beomgyu or anything.

Y/N nodded slowly, the tightness in her chest loosening ever so slightly.

“And honestly?” Jiwon added with a grin. “If he’s confident like you said, I bet he’ll find a way to talk to you again. Guys like that aren’t easily discouraged.”

Y/N couldn’t help the faint smile that crept onto her face, a soft laugh escaping as she looked down at her notebook.

Jiwon beamed at the sound, pleased to see her friend relaxing. “Alright, now that we’ve dissected your charming classmate, can we focus on our assignments? Unless you want to write me a whole essay about Beomgyu…”

Y/N shook her head quickly, her cheeks burning as she turned the page in her notebook. Jiwon laughed, raising her hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay, I’ll drop it—for now.”

The two fell into an easy rhythm as they returned to their study session. But even as Y/N jotted down notes and worked through her assignments, a small part of her couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to see Beomgyu again—and if she’d have the courage to do anything differently.

The next few days passed in a blur, each one blending into the next. Y/N kept herself busy with classes, studying, and working at the university café. It was a routine that helped her stay grounded, and she liked the quiet, easy tasks—stocking supplies, making drinks, and cleaning. Currently, she was on drink duty again, and she found comfort in the rhythm of it, even as her mind wandered.

Her back was to the café entrance when she heard a familiar voice, just a bit louder than necessary.

“Taehyun, I’m telling you, I need something to wake me up. Maybe an iced latte?”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. She didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. Beomgyu. She had heard that voice enough to recognize it, even without seeing him.

Trying to stay calm, Y/N kept her focus on the drinks she was preparing. She wasn’t ready to face him. She wasn’t even sure what she’d say, let alone if she could keep her anxiety from spilling out. Beomgyu and Taehyun were ordering, and she hoped—no, prayed—that they wouldn’t notice her.

Beomgyu’s voice rose, this time giving his order, “I’ll have a caramel macchiato, please.”

“One matcha frappé, and a caramel macchiato, coming right up!” Y/N’s coworker called out the order.

Beomgyu and Taehyun moved aside to wait for their drinks, talking casually, their laughter carrying through the small café. Y/N kept her back to them, eyes darting nervously between the drinks she was making and her coworker who, to her dismay, was too busy cashing out a group of customers to help.

Her heart was pounding now. She knew she’d have to hand the drinks to Beomgyu and Taehyun. There was no way around it. She couldn’t just hide forever. But she didn’t want them to look at her, not now.

Her hands trembled slightly as she prepared their drinks, praying they wouldn’t catch her eye. Her movements felt clumsy, each step taking longer than it should. As she finished the drinks, Y/N glanced at the counter, barely managing a quick, panicked glance at the pair. She kept her face turned away, her back still facing them.

Beomgyu and Taehyun were deep in conversation, and Y/N took the opportunity to push the drinks toward them as quickly as she could. But she wasn’t quick enough. As she glanced up, she found Beomgyu’s gaze meeting hers.

Beomgyu’s eyes lingered on her for a moment, and then his gaze dropped to her name tag. He smiled, a little surprised, before meeting her eyes again.

“Hey,” he greeted her, his tone casual but warm. “Y/N, right?” He glanced at her name tag again, as if confirming what he’d just read. "I didn’t realize you worked here."

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. His smile was friendly, but the direct attention still sent a wave of heat to her cheeks. She nodded, her throat tightening, not sure what to say next.

Taehyun, noticing the moment, raised a brow as he looked between them, but said nothing, content to let Beomgyu lead the conversation.

Beomgyu waited for her to respond, his smile still in place, but there was a hint of curiosity in his eyes.

Y/N’s heart raced, her mind spinning as she tried to recall what Jiwon had told her to do. Smile! That’s what she said, right? she thought, panicking slightly.

Forcing her lips into the smallest smile she could manage, Y/N quickly nodded in Beomgyu’s direction. It felt stiff and unnatural like her face wasn’t cooperating with the nerves flooding her body. She immediately looked down at the counter, hoping her awkwardness wouldn’t be too obvious.

Beomgyu, however, seemed to notice her discomfort. His smile softened, and he looked at her with a trace of curiosity, not at all bothered by her nervousness. He turned to Taehyun but lingered for a moment longer than necessary, his gaze still on her.

“Our drinks look great,” Beomgyu commented, taking both cups and passing one to Taehyun. He looked back at Y/N, offering a quiet, “Thank you,” before turning to head toward a table with his friend.

As Y/N went back to the counter, she tried to focus on preparing the next drink, but her thoughts kept circling back to Beomgyu. Was that it? Was that all? Maybe he didn’t really want to talk to her, or perhaps he had only been polite because he noticed how awkward she was. She hadn't said a word, so it made sense that Beomgyu might’ve thought she wasn’t interested in talking.

Her fingers trembled slightly as she made the next drink, her mind racing. She hadn’t realized that Beomgyu had actually been trying to be kind to her, his smile soft, his words gentle, trying to make her feel at ease without pushing her. But to Y/N, it had felt like she’d somehow missed something important. The small part of her that had hoped for something more—maybe even just a longer conversation—started to feel foolish.

With a quiet sigh, she focused back on the task at hand. She had to remind herself that it was just a casual exchange, just like any other day at work. Nothing more to it. But the nervous fluttering in her chest didn’t go away, and as she handed off the next drinks to her coworker, she couldn’t help but steal a glance toward the table where Beomgyu and Taehyun had sat down. And then, just as quickly, she froze.

Beomgyu was staring at her.

No, wait—maybe it wasn’t me he was staring at, there’s a ton of people here, she thought. Her heart skipped a beat as she glanced away, feeling a flush creep up her neck and cheeks. She couldn’t be sure, but it definitely felt like eyes were on her. She tried to shake off the feeling and focus back on her work, but the nervous flutter in her chest wouldn’t go away.

Her shift passed in a blur after that, the lingering buzz of unease settling in her stomach. By the time she stepped out of the café, the evening air was cool against her skin, a stark contrast to the warmth still clinging to her face. She pulled her jacket tighter around herself, letting the familiar rhythm of her walk to her car settle her thoughts.

By the time Y/N got home, the weight of the day pressed down on her—not from exhaustion, but from a restless energy that refused to settle. She slipped off her shoes at the door and made her way upstairs, the familiar quiet of her room wrapping around her like a warm embrace.

After setting her bag down, she collapsed onto her bed, staring at the ceiling as her mind replayed the moment in the café.

He was staring at me… right?

She groaned, covering her face with her hands. It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to customers looking her way—it came with the job—but this was different. This was Beomgyu. And the way her heart had reacted to him, the way her breath had caught in her throat, made it impossible to ignore.

With a sigh, she rolled onto her side and grabbed a notebook from her nightstand. Instead of writing, she flipped to a fresh page, letting her pen glide across the paper in small, aimless doodles—a pair of mismatched socks, a tiny bear with round ears and stubby paws sitting beside a cup of coffee, and a star with a sleepy face.

Drawing always helped settle her nerves, but tonight, her thoughts kept drifting. To the way Beomgyu had said hi. The way he had left so casually, as if the whole moment had meant nothing.

Maybe it was nothing.

She tapped the pen against her lip, staring at the page. Then, without thinking, she sketched the messy outline of a person—shaggy hair, a hoodie, a slight tilt of the head.

Y/N blinked.

She closed the notebook a moment later, pressing her palms against the cover as though trying to erase the drawing.

Nope. Not thinking about this.

Grabbing her blanket, she curled up into a cocoon, burying her face into the fabric. Tomorrow, she’d forget about it. Beomgyu was just another customer.

She just wished her heart would believe it.

The quiet of her room settled in, the gentle hum of the outside world barely making it through the thin walls. For a few moments, it felt like the perfect escape. The world outside her room could wait.

But then, she heard the creak of the floorboard outside her door—heavy footsteps that didn’t belong to her dad.

Y/N’s chest tightened.

A sharp knock at the door broke the silence. "Y/N," came the voice from the other side.

Her stepmom didn’t wait for an answer before pushing the door open.

"Don’t you think it’s time you stop with all this silent treatment?" She asked, her voice tight with the familiar frustration that seemed to follow Y/N like a shadow. "This whole ‘I’m too quiet to speak to anyone’ routine is getting old."

Y/N didn’t respond, her face still buried in the blanket. She knew what was coming, but she couldn’t bring herself to face it right now.

Her stepmom took a step further into the room, arms crossed over her chest. "You could’ve said something at breakfast this morning, but instead, you just sat there, barely even looking at me. I’m trying, but I’m getting tired of it."

Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat, but she didn’t speak. She couldn’t. Not right now.

In her mind, Y/N silently disagreed. Her stepmom wasn’t trying at all. She never had. Not when Y/N was a child, when her silence was met with anger and frustration rather than understanding. Her stepmom had always used her quietness as a way to control her, to make her feel less, to force her to change in ways she wasn’t ready to. It had never been about helping; it had always been about power.

But Y/N couldn’t say any of this. Not now.

Her stepmom’s voice cut through the silence again, sharp as ever. "Maybe if you actually spoke up, you wouldn’t feel so isolated all the time. You wouldn’t have to hide away in your room."

Y/N squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to argue, to say it wasn’t that simple, but the words were stuck, trapped behind the knot in her throat.

Her stepmom waited for a response, but when none came, she sighed heavily. "You know, it’s not normal to shut people out like this. I’m trying to help you." The words were layered with frustration, but Y/N knew better. Her stepmom's so-called "help" had never been anything more than a way to force her into compliance.

Y/N didn’t open her eyes. She couldn’t bring herself to look at her. She could feel the weight of the situation press down on her, the suffocating silence stretching on between them. Her stepmom was still standing there, waiting. But Y/N wasn’t going to give in. She never did.

"Don’t you think it’s time you grew up and spoke for yourself?" Her stepmom’s voice softened, but it was the kind of soft that felt manipulative, like it was meant to break her down, make her feel guilty. "I’m just trying to help you, Y/N. But you’re making this so much harder than it needs to be."

Y/N’s chest tightened. It was always like this. The same cycle, the same words, the same push to make her speak, to make her perform for her. She was so tired of it.

The silence that followed seemed to last forever.

With a sigh, Y/N finally sat up, the blanket slipping down to her waist. She didn’t meet her stepmom’s eyes, but she could feel her gaze on her, sharp and expectant.

The silence between them felt suffocating, pressing against Y/N’s chest, until the knot in her throat finally became too tight. She had to do something. But what?

Her stepmom’s voice broke through the silence again. "I’m not going to stand here all night, Y/N." The words dripped with frustration.

Y/N’s hands trembled beneath the blanket. She could feel the weight of her stepmom’s expectations, her anger, all of it crashing down on her. And yet, the words refused to come. The silence—her silence—was both her defense and her prison.

For a moment, Y/N almost considered speaking. Maybe, just maybe, saying something would make it stop. But she knew that wouldn’t work. It never did. Her stepmom never wanted to listen. She just wanted to force her to speak, to force her to be someone else.

The thoughts swirled in her mind, the tension in her chest growing heavier, until it felt like she might suffocate. She wanted to yell at her stepmom, to tell her that it wasn’t that simple, that she couldn’t just speak up because her body refused to cooperate. She wanted to say that she wasn’t choosing this silence, but the words never came.

Y/N squeezed her eyes shut, biting down on her lip to keep the flood of emotions inside. She tried to take a deep breath, but it felt like something was lodged in her throat, a thick, suffocating pressure that kept her from making a sound.

Her stepmom’s voice cut through the silence again, sharper this time. "Why can’t you just say something? Is it really that hard?"

Y/N flinched, her entire body tensing as if the question might break her. She wanted to scream, to shout that it was hard—that she wanted to say something, but she couldn’t. But her throat remained tight, her voice locked away.

"I just want you to be normal!" Her stepmom’s voice cracked with anger, her words sharp and biting, as though the pressure of everything had finally erupted.

Her stepmom waited, the air thick with expectation, but Y/N could only curl further into herself, gripping the blanket tighter, wishing she could disappear.

"Fine," her stepmom muttered, the bitterness in her voice clear now. "Keep hiding. You always do." She turned sharply and left, the door closing behind her with a finality that stung.

Y/N sat motionless, her legs pulled up to her chest, the blanket now pulled tightly around her body. The quiet in her room, which usually felt like a soft cocoon, was now suffocating. The hum of the outside world couldn’t mask the tension that still lingered in the air, thick with the weight of her stepmom’s words. It felt heavy now, the silence pressing in on her, amplifying everything she couldn’t say, everything she wished she could change.

The anger from their confrontation burned in her chest, but it was a slow, bubbling kind of anger. The kind that twisted inside her, gnawing at her with each passing second. She wanted to scream, to yell everything she’d never been able to say, but the words were stuck. Her body felt frozen, caught in this never-ending loop of failure.

Her stepmom’s voice echoed in her mind, each phrase repeating over and over like a broken record. "Why can’t you just say something?" "I want you to be normal." The words cut into her, digging deeper into the wound her stepmom had been picking at for years. And yet, despite the anger that flared up inside her, Y/N couldn’t shake the feeling that her stepmom was right.

She hated herself for it. Why can’t I just be normal?

The question lingered in the air, gnawing at her. She curled in on herself tighter, her nails digging into her arms. She could feel the anger rising in her chest, but it wasn’t the kind of anger that would help her break free—it was the kind that ate away at her from the inside, tearing at the pieces of her that were already fragile. The kind of anger that made her doubt herself, make her feel smaller, weaker.

She felt so broken. And for a moment, she wished she could tear herself apart and rebuild herself into someone who wasn’t so defective. Maybe if she were someone else—someone who could speak, who could just act normal—things wouldn’t be this way. Maybe her stepmom wouldn’t see her as a burden, as something to fix.

But the truth was, she didn’t know how to change. She didn’t know how to be what everyone expected her to be. And every time her stepmom spoke to her like that, it felt like the pieces of her own self-worth chipped away, leaving behind something less than what she’d been before.

Normal—that word had never felt more unattainable.

Y/N closed her eyes, but it didn’t make the feeling go away. It only made the weight of her own silence feel more suffocating. The pressure of trying to conform, to fit into a mold she didn’t belong in, was like a vise tightening around her chest. Her stepmom’s disappointment echoed in her head, filling up every empty space. Why can’t you just speak?

She didn’t know how to speak when everything inside her felt like it was locked behind a door she couldn’t open. Every attempt to break free from the silence had always led her back here, to this suffocating place where she couldn’t even breathe right.

The self-hatred was familiar now. It had been a constant companion for as long as she could remember. She hated herself for not being able to meet expectations, for not being enough in the way everyone seemed to want her to be. She hated that her stepmom was right—that she was different, that she didn’t belong, that she wasn’t normal.

Her breath hitched as the frustration built up, an unbearable knot in her throat. She wanted to shout, to make it stop, but all she could do was lie there, trapped in her own mind, fighting with herself. It always felt like this. Every time, the words would slip away, and she'd be left in this awful silence, all alone with her thoughts.

But more than anything, Y/N hated how small she felt. How her stepmom's words had a way of making her feel so insignificant, so unworthy. It was as though, by not speaking, she was failing in every way possible. The thought of her years in speech therapy stung. She'd tried. She had. But somewhere along the way, things had fallen apart. In middle school, she’d made progress. But high school? That was when it all came crashing down. She'd had no therapy, no guidance, and the silence crept back in like an old friend—unwanted, but familiar. And now, here she was, stuck with the same old weight in her chest, the same crushing inability to speak.

Tears burned at the back of her eyes, but it wasn’t just sadness she felt—it was anger, raw and bitter, mingling with the self-hatred that had always lingered under the surface. She wanted to scream, to yell everything she’d never been able to say. She wanted to shout at her stepmom that she wasn’t broken, that it wasn’t her fault. But the words, once again, were stuck, trapped behind the same invisible barrier.

Instead, she let herself cry, angry tears streaking down her face. She didn’t even know why she was crying anymore. Was it because of her stepmom? Or because of everything she could never say? The frustration built in her chest, but all she could do was let the tears fall, each one carrying the weight of her silence, of her inability to just be like everyone else.

Her fingers, trembling, found their way to the edges of her sleeve. She began rubbing the fabric between her fingers, a mindless gesture, but one that had always calmed her in moments like these. The soft, repetitive motion felt grounding, like it was the only thing in her control when everything else felt so far out of reach. She didn’t even notice she was doing it—this small act of comfort that was as much a reflex as it was a way to cope with the overwhelming flood of emotions crashing over her.

As the minutes dragged on, she felt herself sinking deeper into the shame and frustration, the thoughts spiraling out of control. How many times had people thought she was rude? How many times had she been told she was unfriendly, cold, because she couldn’t speak up? She’d seen the looks, the whispers behind her back. She knew what they thought of her. A shy girl? No. They thought she was stuck-up, standoffish, even rude. They didn’t understand that it wasn’t about not wanting to talk—it was about not being able to.

Her head fell into her knees, her body shaking with the force of the tears she couldn’t hold back. If only she could just be... normal. But she wasn’t. She couldn’t be. And it hurt more than anything.

A few days later, the evening had fallen, and the café was quieter than usual. The last of the customers were finishing their drinks, and Y/N’s coworker had settled behind the counter, casually handling the few remaining customers. Since the café wasn’t busy, Y/N had been given the task of cleaning up—sweeping the floors and wiping down the tables. It felt like a peaceful end to her shift, one where she could quietly focus on the tasks at hand.

As Y/N moved around the café, her mind was distant, absorbed in the repetitive motion of cleaning. She didn’t notice when the door jingled open and someone walked in.

Beomgyu entered the café with a relaxed air, his eyes scanning the room until they landed on Y/N. She was still focused on her task, oblivious to his presence. His gaze softened, watching her for a moment before he stepped up to the counter to place his order.

“I’ll just have an iced green tea, please,” Beomgyu said, his voice light, but loud enough for Y/N’s coworker to hear.

Y/N’s coworker nodded and got to work making the drink, his attention now split between the counter and the lingering emptiness of the café. Once the drink was handed to him, Beomgyu moved to the side, taking his usual spot by the window and casually sitting down at a table, his eyes naturally drifting back to Y/N as she moved about.

He noticed how focused she seemed, her hands gently wiping down a table. She was lost in her own world, unaware of the quiet gaze that followed her movements. For a moment, Beomgyu simply watched, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Y/N continued cleaning, unaware of his eyes on her. She moved to the next table, pausing to scrub at a stubborn spot. It wasn’t until she reached for the cleaning supplies near the counter that she noticed Beomgyu sitting at the window, looking in her direction.

Her heart skipped, and for a moment, she froze. Was he... looking at her? She quickly turned her gaze away, hoping she hadn’t been caught staring. Y/N busied herself with finishing up the last of the cleaning, trying to shake off the nerves that had suddenly crept in.

Beomgyu, however, wasn’t making things easier. Every now and then, his eyes would flick back to her, but he never made a move to interrupt her work. Instead, he took a sip of his drink, his attention still lingering on her, as though waiting for the right moment to approach.

Y/N stole another quick glance at him, her stomach fluttering when she realized that yes, he was indeed looking her way. She quickly looked down at her hands, wishing for the floor to swallow her up. He wasn’t making any attempt to talk to her, but just knowing he was there, watching her, made her feel exposed in a way she wasn’t sure how to handle.

She returned to the counter, hoping to stay busy so she wouldn’t have to overthink the situation. Y/N tried to keep her movements casual, even as she caught herself glancing in Beomgyu’s direction again.

Beomgyu smiled to himself as he watched her, taking another sip of his drink. He wasn’t in a rush to leave. He liked how she didn’t seem to know he was watching, giving him the chance to enjoy the quiet moment with her without pressure.

The café had grown quieter as the clock ticked closer to closing time. Y/N’s shift was nearing its end, and she was finishing up the last few tasks—restocking and collecting stray cups. Her coworker, who was managing the counter, had been keeping himself busy with a couple of remaining customers. Y/N stole a glance at the clock, noting that her shift would end soon. Her heart, however, was still racing from the nerves that had built up ever since Beomgyu had entered the café earlier.

She glanced over at his table, finding him still seated alone, but this time, his gaze seemed to be fixed on his phone. She quickly looked away, trying to ignore the feeling in her chest. It was hard not to notice the way his eyes lingered on her all night, but she kept herself busy, hoping the discomfort would fade.

After about half an hour, Y/N finally made her way toward the counter, preparing to clock out. Her coworker was chatting with a customer, so Y/N walked over to the register to grab her things, trying to keep her movements casual, trying to pretend she wasn’t aware of Beomgyu sitting just a few feet away. Eager to be away from work, she quickly untied her apron, folded it neatly, and slipped it into her bag

She pulled her bag over her shoulder and then successfully clocked out. Just as she was about to turn to leave, she felt a light tap on the counter. She looked up, startled, to find Beomgyu standing there with a soft smile.

“Hey,” he greeted her, his voice calm. “Are you about to head out?”

Y/N felt the tension in her body rise again, but she nodded.

Beomgyu’s smile softened as he looked at her. “Ah, I see. Well, I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute before you go. If that’s okay?”

Y/N froze for a moment; she hadn’t expected Beomgyu to approach her again, and part of her was still unsure of how to react. With a slow nod, she looked up at his face.

And that’s when it hit her—up close, Beomgyu was even more striking than she had realized. His eyes, warm and expressive, were just a shade lighter than she remembered, and his smile was disarming. There was something about the way the dim café lighting caught the curve of his jaw and the easy confidence he wore like a second skin.

Y/N found herself momentarily breathless, her thoughts scattering as she studied him. His features were so effortlessly handsome, she hadn’t truly noticed before, distracted by the nervousness whenever they crossed paths. Now, with him standing so close, she realized he had a presence that made it hard to look away, even for a brief moment.

Shaking herself out of her daze, Y/N quickly looked away, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks. She wasn’t sure if he’d noticed her brief lapse in composure, but the moment of silence stretched out between them.

Y/N took a deep breath, still feeling the nervous flutter in her chest, but she could tell Beomgyu wasn’t trying to pressure her. His smile was genuine, and there was a kindness in his eyes that made her feel a little at ease.

She glanced at the clock, seeing that the café was about to close, and then back at Beomgyu. With a soft exhale, she nodded. She wasn’t sure what to expect, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk, even if it was just a little.

Beomgyu’s eyes lit up, his expression softening. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “I’m glad you’re willing to chat. I know it’s late, but if you’re up for it, we could head to the library. It’s quiet, and I know that’s where we first met… Thought it might be a good place to continue the conversation.”

Y/N hesitated for a moment. She wasn’t sure about leaving the café, but the idea of being somewhere familiar, like the library, felt less intimidating. She nodded again, her fingers brushing the edge of her apron nervously, but she made the decision. It was just a short walk. She could do this.

Beomgyu smiled brightly at her response. His expression a mix of relief and warmth. “Great! Let’s head over then.”

The walk to the library was quiet, the cool night air brushing against their skin as the campus felt peaceful. Most students had already headed home, and the soft glow of the streetlights illuminated the path ahead. Y/N could feel her nerves easing a little as she walked beside Beomgyu, his presence somehow calming despite her earlier anxiety.

They didn’t speak much during the walk, and Y/N was thankful for the silence. It gave her time to think and process everything that had happened. She kept her gaze forward, but she could feel Beomgyu’s presence beside her, his footsteps light and steady. Every now and then, she could hear him humming softly, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he was nervous too.

When they reached the library, the door automatically slid open, and they stepped inside. The soft hush of the building immediately enveloped them, the sound of footsteps echoing in the empty hall. Beomgyu led the way, gesturing toward a table by one of the large windows.

“Here’s good,” he said with a smile. “I like this spot. It’s peaceful, and you get a nice view of the campus at night.”

Y/N nodded, grateful for the quiet atmosphere. She felt the weight of the day lifting off her shoulders as she took a seat, she placed her bag in the chair next to her and then pulled out her notebook.

Beomgyu settled into the chair across from her, his gaze softening as he looked at her. “So… I guess I should start by saying thanks for meeting me. I know this might feel a little random, but I just wanted to talk with you more.”

Beomgyu shifted in his seat, the quietness between them feeling heavier than he’d expected. He wasn’t used to moments like this—he thrived in conversation, in laughter, in noise. Sitting across from someone so silent was unfamiliar, and for a moment, he wondered if he’d made things awkward.

Y/N glanced up at Beomgyu briefly before opening her notebook. She hesitated for a moment, her fingers brushing over the cover as if steadying herself. Flipping through the pages in search of a clean spot, she tried not to feel the weight of Beomgyu’s gaze.

As she turned the pages, Beomgyu’s attention was drawn to the scattered doodles filling the margins and corners—tiny cats curled up in intricate poses, a few birds in mid-flight, and even a tiny turtle peeking out of its shell. The sketches were charming and full of personality, giving him a glimpse into a side of her he hadn’t noticed before. He couldn’t help but smile, but his smile quickly faded as realization set in.

But as she kept flipping, it dawned on him. She’s never spoken to me… Is this how she talks to people? he thought, his expression softening as understanding settled in.

It wasn’t a bad thing—it was just different. Beomgyu wasn’t used to this kind of communication, but there was something fascinating about it. Watching her write instead of hearing her speak felt quieter, more intentional, and somehow more personal.

Finally landing on a clean page, Y/N pulled out her pen. Her hands trembled slightly as she began writing, her nerves threatening to overwhelm her. She’d never done this with someone like him before. What if he didn’t understand? What if he thought it was weird? Most people found her notebook strange, and she braced herself for the same reaction.

Beomgyu’s natural urge to fill the silence started to creep in, but he resisted it, allowing the quiet to settle around them. It dawned on him that this was how she communicated—on her terms.

When she finished writing, she slid the notebook toward him, her stomach twisting in knots.

Why did you want to talk to me?

Beomgyu blinked, surprised at the bluntness of her question. He glanced up at her and smiled. For someone so reserved, she didn’t shy away from being direct when she wrote.

“Well… I guess I just wanted to get to know you better,” he said, his tone soft but honest. “You’re quiet, but there’s something about you that makes me curious. Like, I feel like there’s more to you than what people might see, and I wanted to figure out what that is.”

Y/N listened carefully, her hands hovering above the notebook as she processed his words. The knot in her stomach loosened slightly, though the nervous energy still buzzed beneath the surface, Beomgyu’s answer caught her off guard.

When she glanced up and saw the way Beomgyu’s gaze softened—more curious than anything—her heart fluttered, though this time, for an entirely different reason. She wasn’t used to someone looking at her like that—without judgment or pity, but with genuine interest.

Her pen hovered for a moment before she wrote again.

I’m not good at talking to people.

Beomgyu leaned closer to read her note, his smile growing softer. “I kind of figured,” he said with a small chuckle. “But honestly? That’s okay. You don’t have to talk if you’re not comfortable. This is different, but I don’t mind it. Actually…” He paused, his eyes catching on her doodles again. “I think it’s kind of cool.” Y/N blinked at his response, her heart skipping because of the unexpected compliment. Her fingers fiddled with the pen as she wrote again.

You’re really nice.

Beomgyu read her note, his grin widening. “I try,” he teased gently. “But seriously, I like this. I like talking to you—however you want to do it.”

For the first time, Y/N felt the tension in her shoulders easing. Beomgyu wasn’t just tolerating her way of communicating—he genuinely appreciated it.

They continued their conversation, the flow of words becoming more natural between them. Y/N shared her passion for animals, her dream of becoming a vet tech, and how much peace she found in working with animals rather than people. Beomgyu, in turn, talked about his love for music, his journey in learning audio engineering, and his deep admiration for the creative process.

Beomgyu wasn’t just being patient with her—he genuinely seemed to enjoy this, treating their exchange like any other conversation.

She tapped her pen against the page before writing. What’s something really dumb that makes you happy?

Beomgyu’s face lit up as he read her question. “Oh, that’s easy,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “When I do laundry and actually find socks that match. It feels like a miracle every time.”

Y/N looked at him, amused, and wrote. That’s… really specific.

Beomgyu gasped, clutching his chest dramatically. “Are you saying that doesn’t make you happy? Matching socks are an underrated joy!”

She pressed her lips together to hold back a laugh and scribbled. I don’t hate it, but I wouldn’t call it a miracle.

He shook his head with mock disappointment. “Wow. I can’t believe I’m sitting here with a sock-matching hater.”

Y/N rolled her eyes but smiled, tapping her pen before writing. I like it when my blanket and pillow are cold when I get into bed.

Beomgyu froze, his face suddenly serious. “Okay, that’s a good one. There’s nothing like that first cold spot under the blanket. But counterpoint—nothing is worse than getting out of bed when you’re nice and warm.”

Y/N sighed dramatically and wrote. Pain. True suffering.

He grinned at her response. “Right? Honestly, I’d stay in bed forever if it was socially acceptable.”

She shook her head, but her smile lingered as she underlined the word pain. The conversation wasn’t deep, but it didn’t have to be. For the first time in a long while, talking—well, writing—with someone felt easy.

After some time, Beomgyu glanced at his phone and sighed. “I should probably get going,” he said with a sheepish smile. “Didn’t realize how late it was.”

Y/N nodded, a bit reluctantly. She was glad they had spent time together, but part of her wished she didn’t have to say goodbye so soon. Still, the warmth from their conversation stayed with her, and she felt a small, content smile tugging at her lips.

Beomgyu stood up and grabbed his bag, looking at her one more time with a soft expression. “I really enjoyed talking with you.”

Y/N reached for her notebook to write something, but before she could, Beomgyu waved it off. “You don’t have to write anything. I just… wanted you to know I’m happy we talked.”

Y/N smiled at him, her fingers brushing the edge of her notebook before she tucked it away in her bag. 

Beomgyu looked at Y/N with a thoughtful expression, his voice softening. “Hey, do you need help getting home? It’s late, and I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

Y/N blinked, surprised by his concern. Her heart fluttered at the sincerity in his tone. She shook her head gently, signaling she was okay, though her hesitation lingered. It wasn’t often that someone cared enough to ask.

Beomgyu caught the brief pause in her reaction and nodded understandingly, offering a small, reassuring smile. “Alright. Just wanted to make sure.”

As he adjusted the strap of his bag, a thought seemed to strike him. He hesitated for a moment before pulling out his phone. “Actually, do you mind if I get your number? You know… in case you ever need help… or want to hang out, or even just talk.”

Y/N froze for a split second, caught off guard by the request but oddly comforted. After a moment, she reached out and gently took his phone, her fingers brushing his for just an instant. The warmth of the moment made her chest tighten, but she quickly typed in her number and handed it back.

“Thanks,” Beomgyu said, his grin widening as he glanced at the screen. “I’ll text you so you have mine, too. And seriously, let me know if you ever need anything. Oh, and… make sure you get home safe, okay?”

Y/N nodded, her heart lighter than it had been all day. She glanced up at him as he turned to leave, feeling an unexpected warmth in her chest. Just as he started to walk away, she found herself offering him a small, genuine smile—a gesture that felt monumental to her. Beomgyu paused when he caught it, his own smile softening, before he gave her a playful little wave and disappeared through the library doors.

As Y/N left the library, she hugged her bag close to her side, the notebook tucked safely inside. The cool night air nipped at her cheeks, making her quicken her steps toward the parking lot where her car waited. The campus was quiet at this hour, with only the faint rustle of leaves and the distant hum of streetlights breaking the stillness.

Reaching her car, she unlocked it and slid into the driver’s seat. The familiar quiet of the vehicle wrapped around her, a welcome reprieve after the unexpected emotional weight of the evening. She gripped the steering wheel loosely, taking a moment to sit there and reflect.

Her conversation with Beomgyu replayed in her mind. The way he smiled at her, the patience in his tone, and his genuine curiosity about her notebook—it was all so… different. Not many people had ever taken the time to truly try and understand her. But Beomgyu had, and he hadn’t made her feel strange for the way she communicated. If anything, he made her feel seen.

A small smile crept onto her lips. For once, she didn’t feel consumed by guilt or regret for how she handled things. Tonight had been a good step—one she could feel proud of. She had opened up, even just a little, and it hadn’t been as terrifying as she expected.

The thought of Beomgyu’s parting words warmed her chest. “I like talking to you—however you want to do it.” He meant it, didn’t he? It was hard to believe someone like him, so outgoing and confident, could be so patient with someone like her. And yet, he had been.

Her thoughts shifted to home, where her dad was likely waiting up for her, as he often did when she worked late or stayed out studying. She hated making him worry, but she also felt the need to take a moment for herself. Her fingers brushed against the strap of her bag, and she smiled again, this time a little wider.

Starting the car, Y/N let out a soft sigh as she pulled out of the parking lot. Tonight felt like the start of something new, something different—and for the first time, the thought didn’t completely terrify her.

The walk back to his dorm was a blur for Beomgyu, his mind still lingering on the evening. Their conversation had been so easy, yet so different from what he was used to. He had been surprised by how comfortable it felt to talk to her, even with the silence and the notebook. It made him think about her in ways he hadn’t before.

As he got back to his room, he pulled out his phone and immediately searched for: “How to help my shy friend,” “What do I do when my friend doesn’t talk,” “Social anxiety help,” “Friend doesn’t talk but I want to help.” His search was filled with questions that might seem silly to anyone else, but Beomgyu was determined to understand. He didn’t know exactly what Y/N’s situation was yet, but he could tell there was more to it than just being shy. He wanted to be the kind of friend who didn’t make things worse, the kind of person who could make her feel comfortable enough to open up without pressure.

He clicked on a few links and began reading, more focused than he had been in a while. He wasn’t sure where the research would lead him, but for the first time, it didn’t matter. He just wanted to make sure he did things the right way.

As time went on, Beomgyu ended up sprawled out on his bed, his laptop perched precariously on his knees. The bright screen was filled with open tabs, each one boasting headlines like "Understanding Social Anxiety" and "How to Support a Shy Friend Without Overstepping." He had even clicked on a thread titled "What to Do If Someone Doesn't Talk to You," though he quickly closed it after realizing it was mostly people venting about awkward first dates.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Why is this so complicated?” he muttered to himself, scrolling through yet another article that felt more clinical than helpful.

Frustrated, he grabbed his phone and opened his messages. His thumb hovered over Taehyun’s contact for a second before he typed out a text:

Beomgyu: Hypothetically, if you had a really shy friend who doesn’t talk much, how would you make them feel comfortable? Trying to do some research.

It didn’t take long for Taehyun to reply.

Taehyun: Hypothetically? Or are we talking about an actual person here? Are you asking for yourself or writing an essay?

Beomgyu rolled his eyes and quickly typed back.

Beomgyu: Just answer the question, dude Taehyun: Depends. How shy are they? Beomgyu: Like… doesn’t talk. At all. Writes instead

Taehyun: Oh. That’s… different. Is this about someone you know?

Beomgyu hesitated before replying.

Beomgyu: Yeah. I just don’t want to do or say something wrong. I feel like they’re nervous around people, and I don’t want to make it worse

Taehyun’s response took a bit longer this time.

Taehyun: Alright, here’s the deal: don’t overthink it. Just treat them the way you already are. If they’re comfortable enough to communicate with you, that means you’re doing something right Beomgyu: What if I accidentally say something that upsets them? Taehyun: Then apologize. Seriously, Beomgyu, it’s not rocket science. You don’t need to handle them like glass. Just listen and don’t push them. Let them come to you at their own pace

Beomgyu frowned at the screen, rereading the messages. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Taehyun’s advice—it was good advice—but he still felt like there was more he should be doing.

Beomgyu: I guess that makes sense… I just don’t want them to feel like I don’t care Taehyun: You’re literally researching how to be a better friend to them. If they don’t see you care, they’re blind Beomgyu: Fair. Taehyun: Wait. Hold up. This wouldn’t happen to be a girl, would it?

Beomgyu’s stomach flipped as he read the text.

Beomgyu: What does that have to do with anything? Taehyun: Everything, bro. You don’t even put this much effort into group projects. If this isn’t a crush, I’ll eat my textbooks

Beomgyu groaned, his face heating up.

Beomgyu: It’s not like that! Taehyun: Sure. Keep telling yourself that

Despite the teasing, Beomgyu felt a little better. Taehyun had a way of grounding him while still making him feel like a complete idiot, and somehow, it always worked.

Beomgyu: Thanks, I guess Taehyun: Anytime. Now go to bed before you fry your brain. Your girl deserves better than a sleep-deprived Beomgyu Beomgyu: She’s NOT—ugh. Goodnight.

Beomgyu dropped his phone onto his chest with a sigh, Taehyun’s words replaying in his mind. It wasn’t like that… was it?

[shirefantasies]

Congratulations on 100 followers! 👏 🎉 🥳

This kind of a weird request but I wanted to ask how you would imagine the Fellowship would react/take care of their companion on their period? Like having severe cramps. It can be romantic or platonic relationship it's up to you but I would like Boromir to be romantic.Just lots of fluff basically.🤗

I just really enjoy reading how my favorite characters would take care of me when I'm in pain.😅

Thank you 🥰 oh same because I get reallllly bad period symptoms unless I take my supplements long enough before (and sometimes anyway 😣) so I adore being taken care of by my blorbos 🥺 doing everyone because I wanna write this with Faramir & write some wlw fluff 🥰

LoTR Characters When You’re on Your Period (F!Reader)

Warnings: small blood/pain mentions, a suggestive joke

Aragorn

✧ Your exchange is wordless; Aragorn sees the way you jolt at a sudden shock of pain, catches your eyes and gives you an inquisitive nod. You nod back and that is that, no questions asked.

✧ If you are traveling, your pace slows and Aragorn will hear no two words about it. He allows more breaks, hunts twice as hard, directs you to the softest place to sit and just gives the others firm looks if they try to give complaint.

✧ “Please,” he’ll urge you gently, taking your hand in his, “try to eat something. You’ll need your strength.” Just the sound of his voice, the care therein, practically brings tears to your eyes.

✧ Honestly, it takes a lot for him to suppress his laughter if you snap at one of the others, at least when your outburst is warranted. Glance over and you might catch him giving them an ‘I warned you’ look.

✧ Takes on more fights for you, bidding you to stand back and let him take care of things for once.

Legolas

✧ Perplexed but very concerned when he comes upon the sight of you sprawled out with a grimace of pain across your beautiful face. His first motion is to help you up, secondly asking what ails you. While he looks at you like he does not understand, his actions suggest otherwise.

✧ Every month he learns to follow it, the moon his reminder, and every month Legolas silently begins his gathering. Your favorite tea? Check. Your comfort item? Perfectly clean and ready to hand off. Your bedding? Also perfectly clean and assembled just how you like it. Even Legolas’s words are softer, more understanding in case of sudden complaint or upset.

✧ “It’s like you know what I want before I want it.” “Knowing you,” Legolas replies with a smile, “is my greatest joy.”

✧ Good luck trying to stand on your own; Legolas all but hovers around you, offering a hand whenever you attempt to rise.

✧ He becomes extra protective, taking hold of you by the waist at the first sound or sight of danger, lest anything make it worse.

Boromir

✧ All but bursts into your room the moment he hears that you are bedridden, rushing to take your hand and ask you what has happened in a whisper you can’t help a faint chuckle at before you explain.

✧ Taken visibly aback, Boromir then shakily asks what he can do, smiling when you tell him just to stay with you. “Pretend it’s a wound from some great battle,” you joke. “Oh, indeed,” he agrees before you two begin coming up with more and more ridiculous fights and scrapes you got into, Boromir’s thumb drawing circles over the back of your hand.

✧ He offers to try rubbing where it hurts, applying faint warm pressure over where your lower half is assaulting you. “How is this, my love?”

✧ Uses you having any difficulty with walking as an excuse to pick you up and carry you on his back.

✧ Does your washing up, partially just to prove your teasing about him not being brave enough wrong! He is a warrior, after all.

Gimli

✧ The others alert Gimli in a hiss after he less-than-tactfully panics that you’ve been hurt, sending his lips pursing into a shocked ‘o’ and his gaze sliding back to your stooped form.

✧ “Oh, er, well there lassie, if you need anything at all you know who to call for.” “Well,” you groan, “if you’ve any spare rags I’ll gladly take them.” “Rags? What would you want with…oh. Oh.” “Scared of a little blood, Gimli?” “No, not I,” Gimli replies despite his shaken expression, “I’m so used to the stuff by now, what’s the trouble?”

✧ Insistent as he is that dwarves are the best carers of their women, Gimli quickly works to prove his point and, in his words, win your heart with the lot of it. You’re skeptical when you see him sticking rocks in the fire, but at the end of the day the warmth is heaven upon your aching body and Gimli looks just as pleased as you feel.

✧ He probably also recommends you a strong drink under the claim that it eases pain like nothing else. Whether this is helpful or not is up to you.

✧ Goes surprisingly soft when you curl up, still facing wave after wave of cramps. Reaches over to you and strokes your hair, sitting at your side looking for all the world like a guard dog.

Frodo

✧ Your pain is interrupted by a gasp that has you looking up, meeting Frodo’s wide blue eyes glistening with concern at your sudden jerk. Familiar as Frodo is with pain, he recognizes your motion without a single question.

✧ Urges you to sit or lie still, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head like punctuation.

✧ While you rest up, Frodo tells you stories, stories of his uncle Bilbo’s adventures, tales from the days of the elves, anything to send you to a different place then you currently must be in.

✧ Offers you extra blankets or his cloak if you’re feeling cold or in need of comfort.

✧ Shy as he can be, in your time of need his hands hardly leave your shoulders or your side, quite protective even if he is smaller than you.

Sam

✧ “Whoa, easy there,” Sam tells you as he sits you down, “what happened?” Poor thing thinks you got some bad news or something the way you’re tearing up.

✧ Holds you close to his chest as you let the tears flow, shaking his head when you start to tell him it’s stupid, you’re just in pain and upset. “Can’t think of any more reasonable reasons to cry. Don’t worry, just let it all out.”

✧ Such a sweetheart, he won’t leave your side for hardly anything….except to go pick you some flowers to raise your spirits, of course!

✧ Flushes a bit at the suggestion, but one hundred percent helps you undress and change into more comfortable clothes. Even if he tries to look shyly away as much as possible.

✧ Definitely cooks you something hearty and nutritious, encouraging you to eat even just a little bit. Sam will even hand feed you spoonfuls if you’re feeling bad enough.

Merry

✧ “Oh, yeah, I know all about that!” “You do?” “Sure, I saw what my father did for Mum, after all. Come here.”

✧ Apparently what Mr. Brandybuck did for the missus was to build her the most massive nest of pillows known to Hobbit-kind. “And what’s she do in here?” You ask, waving a hand feebly over your new home. “Well, not sure what they did after that but I think I’ve heard of a way to lessen the pain.” Whether that works or earns him a smack you can decide.

✧ From your pillow pile you become queen of, well, Merry at least, though he puts on an act of being scared of displeasing you at first. You can’t help laughing as he kneels before you, asking what snacks you request or if you’d like some water.

✧ Meriadoc “chugs respecting women juice” Brandybuck has silently vowed to never once make any ill jokes at your expense. No asking if it’s your time if you express any emotion he doesn’t, no teasing you for needing help, no acting like said help is too gross for him, ever.

✧ That being said, he even does your washing up for you!

Pippin

✧ Definitely more the type to fret and worry, hands going to your back as you double over and he asks what’s wrong, are you hurt? Whether your words are sheepish or unabashed, you tell him it’s your womanly cycle and Pippin’s eyes practically pop out of his lovely little head. “O-oh. What should I do?”

✧ His cluelessness is actually perfect for the situation because he truly will do anything you say will help, whether it’s bottling up some hot water, fetching you your favorite snacks, making you tea, even singing you a song if you tell him it’ll raise your spirits.

✧ His absolute favorite thing to do, though, is offer company, tumbling onto the bed with you and chatting the afternoon away.

✧ This quickly evolves, though, and soon Pippin is holding you for dear life, an arm wrapped around the front of you where he draws warm, gentle circles lightly over your pain.

✧ “This isn’t so bad, is it?” You swat him for that, but in spite of yourself cuddle closer and join his sheepish laughter.

Faramir

✧ No questions asked, Faramir is by your side stroking your hair and getting it out of your face if it falls so.

✧ Musing over the strength it takes to fight such internal battles, he cradles you in his arms or, if you prefer not to be touched, holds your hand as he sits at your side.

✧ Well-read as Faramir is, some pain remedies swim to the forefront of his mind and he goes off to seek them.

✧ When you lie down, he tucks you in so softly, that sparkle in his eyes you love so much twinkling just for you. “This will pass,” he whispers.

✧ Blames himself if you get upset sometimes, but is reassured and happy again when you tell him he need never pull away from you.

Eomer

✧ Confused, frankly, at why you suddenly can’t walk, for he cannot conceive of a reason until you admit this is unfortunately quite normal for you.

✧ Asks you why, frowns in greater confusion and sympathy when you say you do not know, acts a little bit uncomfortable about details but still sets out to aid.

✧ Too uncomfortable to ask his sister, he opts instead to seek out a healer and practically demand anything that helps with a woman’s “well, time.” He’s getting the spirit slowly but surely, alright?

✧ Bursts into your room with an armful of everything the healer has, ready to brainstorm solutions to have you right again. You can’t help but chuckle at the whirlwind you’ve just gone through all over some cramps.

✧ He gets quite restless until you call him to your side, asking him to quit fretting and just lay with you. “Ah, that I can do,” he says with a grin.

Haldir

✧ Haldir’s steady expression drops when he learns of your ailment. Everything else he is holding or doing drops as soon as possible, too, and he is going to you.

✧ Taken aback at the sight of you, he realizes he did not know a woman’s cycle could take such a toll as to leave you bedridden. He isn’t used to seeing you so weak and is ready to do what it takes to end it.

✧ He has all these wonderful scented oils, some of which help you sleep, some of which he uses to massage you and hopefully numb the pain.

✧ In addition, he guides your breathing through waves of the ache, looking to the breeze and the rhythms around you to help you relax your body that much more.

✧ Haldir is hesitant to show you excess affection, but if you request it, his arms snake around your waist and he holds you there, both of him breathing you in like you’re all he needs and vice versa.

Eowyn

✧ “Sit down, please, I insist.” As much as Eowyn herself is the type to trudge forth through pain or fear, she would never impose the same upon you, instead tending so gently to you.

✧ Hot water always helps her, so she fetches you some as well as a treat from a baker she passed by, taking your hand after she hands it off.

✧ You had best believe this woman will tell anyone in the whole of Middle Earth to leave you alone as you rest, be they her own kin or the host of the dark lord himself.

✧ As you spend more time together, the old adage about ‘synchronizing’ seems to ring true with you both. Eowyn does not mind, honestly, because you bear the pain together and spend much time together in bed. Not the most ideal of circumstances, but if she can lay in the warmth of your arms Eowyn is a happy woman indeed.

✧ She insists so much upon your care, though, that you’ll practically have to wrestle her down so you can reciprocate…not that she minds that, either!

Arwen

✧ Who better to understand what you are going through? Her brows knit at the first sign of discomfort from you, recognizing the signs immediately.

✧ Without a word Arwen is finding out exactly what you tend to prefer- do you get nauseous and seek relief? Do you desire more sustenance and company or less?

✧ During times when you find yourself more stressed or upset than average, Arwen gives you so much grace, running her hand soothingly down your arm and reminding you all weights feel heavier right now.

✧ For all your pain, there is little bliss like being in the arms of your beloved, her soothing deep whispers brushing your ear.

✧ The most patient if you’re forced to wake up frequently in the night and rise, laying there with nothing but love in her eyes as you return.

Elrond

✧ Wise lord and healer as he is, Elrond is more than familiar with the ailments of women. In fact, he is the sort to track it for you as best as he can. So when he sees you feeling ill, sympathy crosses his serene features but no surprise.

✧ Elrond knows every remedy in the book, so he’s quickly making you some calming tea and sitting you down for some TLC.

✧ Very encouraging for you to take time for yourself and make sure you stay nourished, even if that is difficult. There is no shame in keeping your strength up, after all.

✧ Walks with you just a little ways behind, a hand resting comfortingly upon the small of your back.

✧ Sends cover for you where you are needed, no questions asked, because you are more important than tasks others can perform.

Lindir

✧ Practically trips and falls over himself running to you at your sudden shock of pain, dark eyes wide at the way you folded. You seem embarrassed to tell him and while he feels squeamish at first, that is quickly shaken off as he urges you to sit down.

✧ From that moment on Lindir has dubbed himself your personal nursemaid, naught but the call of Lord Elrond himself taking him from his work.

✧ “No, no, lie back down, I can get it,” he holds out a cautious, almost panicked hand when you wince and sit up, “what is it?”

✧ Sings you songs of all kinds, old tales, his own compositions, and of course your requests, again and again if you ask them of him. His harp is ready to gently play you to sleep or just to keep your mind off the pain you feel.

✧ When you wake up in the night, at first he looks frustrated, but that melts away quickly as your eyes meet, apology shining in your gaze. Instead, Lindir helps you up and sings you to sleep again upon your return.

[changisworld]

GURL i found out today that pierce called vertical clitoral hood piercing is real thing😭🙏🏻 (found out about it on chai) soooo

Can you please please please write skz reaction to reader getting that piercing:3 LOVE YAAA ❤❤❤

-🦇

i have it done so i can indeed confirm it is real>:3 BUT THIS IS MELTING MY BRAIN OH MY GID

BANGCHAN

he would definitely be SO surprised the first time he sees it because he honestly just thought it existed in the world of porn & he never saw much of an appeal UNTIL YOU GOT ONE, now he is obsessed. He definitely loves flicking it with his tongue & purposely bashing his nose against it, just to see you flinch at the weird sensation heheh.

Definitely loves putting ice on it, trying to have it just touch the metal but your clit tenses up at the sensation & you can feel the middle part of the bar going cold too & this is when you found out you were into temperature play!

LEE KNOW

oh my god. saying he loves this piercing is an UNDERSTATEMENT. he didn’t expect you to have one but the second he seen it he was having to hold back his own drool behind his lips. He definitely uses the excuse of “i just wanna make sure there’s nothing wrong with it!” or “it’s just cool” as an excuse to have you naked on your bottom half for him to ‘examine’ it

definitely looovesss spanking your pussy even more now, feeling the metal sting his finger the tiniest bit as he does so & loves seeing your cunt get all puffy & the piercing sitting so pretty & snug>:3

CHANGBIN

would maybe the tiniest bit intimidated by it at first?? not by the look of it but just in case he hurts it on accident, but once you completely throw that idea of his out the window, he is ALLLLLLL FOR IT!! looves to suckle on it as he buries his chubby fingers into you, swirling his tongue over your clit before moving the other fingers of his that are holding your cunt in a ‘V’ shape to let it ever so slightly go deeper into his mouth, giving it even more attention as he does so hehehehe

loves spitting onto it while he fucks you too!! watching you slowly get used to how much he is spitting onto your pussy, the coldness of his spit warming up slowly as it drips down to where his cock is pistoning in & out of you

HYUNJIN

this man is obsessed with it to the bottom of his heart & not even fully in just a sexual way!! he always begs you so nicely to let him draw your pussy, telling you how beautiful it is & how the piercing adds an extra flare & who would you be to say no to such a handsome face?? It starts off innocently & he draws the same pussy he has memorised down to every last detail but by the end of it, he is for sure sucking the soul out of you!

this man will never not be obsessed with the piercing ever since you got it, he finds it so hot infact, that he can easily jerk off & cum to the drawings he does of your pussy, sometimes purposely cumming onto the paper, just to fold it up & give it to you.

HAN JISUNG

obviously the most obsessed with the bit of metal more than anyone else could ever be.. x100. he will put his hand down your pants & just cup your pussy, feeling around your piercing & dragging his finger across it, just for fun & for honestly no real reason, it doesn’t even always lead to sex! he is just a perv who luvs it & is way better & more attractive than any of the porn he watches.

loves using a vibrator on you, watching the metal vibrate along with the item he’s holding, it giving you the tiniest bit of extra feeling, he doesn’t stop until you squirt all over the vibrator & over him, the small barbell getting even wetter.

FELIX

i think the poor boy would be a tiny bit nervous about it at first, mainly because he doesn’t know if you having it would change how your clit feels when aroused & he doesn’t know if he has to touch you differently & he’s scared on messing up, but once you teach him how to do it, he finds out he barely has to change anything, much to his luck!! he would be lying if he didn’t mentally admit that he has a bit of gender envy, because he wishes he could have one!

his favourite part about it is definitely watching you play with your clit, your fingers grazing over it every time you do so & he almost (he has a few times) cums in his pants when he watches you fully expose your clit, the jewellery getting tighter on the thin piece of skin, all shiny & pretty.

SEUNGMIN

this is one of his biggest fantasies COME TRUE!! he’s always liked piercings, nipple piercings, belly button piercings, pussy piercings>:3 his favourite thing to do with this knowledge of him knowing you have the piercing is using pussy pumps!! he loves watching your cunt get swollen & red through the tinted, pink clear plastic suction cup around your mound & watching you hiss & squirm!

Once he unsuctions it after he’s pushed you within a centimetre of your limit, he is landing harsh spanks on your pussy & even going as far as to twiddle the jewellery in his fingers as he drags his other fingers up & down your folds, teasing you even more.

JEONGIN

i truly think he would be the most excited to see it out of all the members! to him, it’s slightly ‘taboo’ to him since he knows how uncommon it is, so when he saw yours for the first time, he almost fully melted into the bed. his favourite thing to do is definitely eat you through your panties, to the point the fabric is uncomfortably stuck to your soaked core & seeing the jewellery sticking through the panties, the imprint visible.

LOVESSS to rub his cock up & down your clothed core, your panties & his spit along with his own precum soaking his own cock too, his tip bashing against your clit & he is so obsessed with the whimpers you let out as you beg him to stop teasing.

->requests/asks are open!

->taglist & anon list is open!

->A/N: SORRRY 🦇 hunny for not replying to all your requests, i’ve been super super busy🥲 you can keep spamming me(along with all my anons!!) & i will get back to them eventually I PINKY PROMISE

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Exchanged clothes [S. R] Bolinus brandaris part. 2

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

word count: 4.6k

part 1

summary: a small act of kindness leads to a rather peculiar confession

A/N: Okaay, some people showed interest in a sequel to this and I thought I'd do it, I hope you like it enough. Oh and we are still with baby Spencer, later I will write about the second and third seasons (and as I progress in the series, lol)

taglist: @the-ginger-draws @skievers @c-m-stuff

The days passed, the cases continued, and the level of trust in the friendship between you and Reid only grew. Working at The Behavioral Analysis Unit was complicated and exhausting in many ways, which sometimes made you wonder how he managed to put up with all that, because, although you weren’t an old woman, you did have two years more experience compared to him. It's also not like it was your fault that he was a genius and he went to work for the FBI at an extraordinary age. So every time something happened, you were there for him and he was there for you. The whole team really cared about the two of you (and JJ, the third youngest) while still trusting in your abilities to face challenges. And just like in a family, everyone could also notice the existing tension between you and the doctor, because although, at least on your part, the feelings had been there for a long time, they had become more obvious to the rest since of the trip to Miami.

"Good morning" you had greeted part of the team that day, a few weeks after the trip, more energetic than the others would have expected. Neither Hotch nor Gideon were around, for obvious reasons, so it was only when you passed Reid's desk that you stopped, running your hand affectionately through his hair “Hey, Doc.”

"Hello," he responded immediately. Spencer didn't like it when his hair got messy, but he could take it if it was you, just as he could take your constant hugs or the drawings you sometimes made on his hand when you were bored during meetings. Of everything that happened between you, little managed to bother him, almost as if the interactions he avoided with others were something natural with you around.

Although he had stopped wearing his scarf daily, he still wore it at least once a week as a reminder of how special it was to him, and fortunately that day was the chosen one.

“Do we have a case? Or do I just bury my nose in these reports?” you muttered to the others, but they denied "What of that do you say no to?"

"Today they will be documents" JJ spoke kindly.

"Why do I have so many?"

“Because I passed you some of mine,” Morgan sneered and you gasped, completely offended. You whispered something accusatory in his direction that made Spencer laugh from the next desk, and then he reached over to take just under half the folders.

"I will help you"

"Oh no, no, Reid. It's okay,” you said, your voice softening noticeably, as you placed your hands over his to try to stop him.

"It's nothing, I'll finish them in a jiffy"

"Why don't you ever offer to help me, huh?"

“You manage pretty well on your own,” Spencer teased at your friend, now making you laugh. You still had your hands on his under the excuse of collecting your reports and, perhaps unconsciously, both of you postponed the moment for another few seconds, looking into your eyes with a small smile until he finally managed to keep the material that he had stolen from your desk.

"Thank you," you said, so softly that only he could hear you.

Looking at your coworker had already become something of an obsession. You liked his gestures, how he looked away when he spoke, his nervous ramblings, and the straight hair that he apparently was letting grow, but what you liked the most were his hands. When he was explaining a profile, he always communicated a lot with his body language and honestly, the swaying of his hands, combined with the tranquility in his tone of voice, was very hypnotic to you, as if keeping the attention of others was something inescapable for him, although it was probably easier to keep your attention specifically. Right now, while everyone was minding their own business, you were watching sideways as he ran his middle finger over the printed lines. It made you nervous to see the delicacy with which he moved across the sheet of paper and inevitably your mind traveled to inappropriate corners related to that movement, which embarrassed you to the point of blushing. Thank heavens he was too focused to notice you, so you forced yourself to work on the few reports Reid had let you keep.

The days were very rare when no cases appeared, but you were grateful that they existed because sometimes it was necessary to take a breather. Seeing so many bodies, so much blood and so much inhumanity was something you never quite got used to, although having good teammates in your unit made it more bearable. So that night nothing stopped you from finishing right on time, with a little back pain from sitting all day, but also quite calm.

"I'll see you tomorrow, rest"

"Are you going to your apartment?" Spencer asked, rushing towards you with his coat in hand and the briefcase slung over his shoulder, and you nodded Can you wait for me to go together?”

You looked at him, more confused than you wanted, but you said yes. It's not that you were upset or that you didn't want company, but that you were curious as to why he might have offered to do it.

"Thanks again, for earlier," you said, once both of you were outside. You lived a few streets from the office and you could get there in less than 20 minutes by taking a subway station, which fortunately was the same one he took.

“Okay, they were too many for you. I mean, it's not that I think you can't do the job, you're very capable, it's just that I thought it was too much workload for just you and I… well, I could help you so I did it” with that Reid held up a hand to downplay the matter and smiled at you.

“Why have we never thought about walking to the subway together?”

"I don't know either," he said. You felt a gust of wind hit the both of you so you hugged yourself to try and get some warmth and even though Spencer wasn't the best at reading social cues he managed to figure out what you had and what he needed to do 

“Here” he murmured, as he spread the coat and put it on your shoulders.

“Oh no, no, no, Reid. I'm fine"

"In fact, if you don't use it you can catch a cold and although there are very few cases in which there are complications that lead to death, the symptoms last about a week and you can infect several people during the first days, so you not only you would be taking care of yourself but also the rest of the team” he informed you. That made you smile, and you found that behind all his scientific mumbo jumbo, he was trying to take care of you.

"It's a little big on me," you laughed, reaching into the sleeves with some help from him.

“You look pretty” he blurted out from his lips, completely entranced by you “Well, the… the coat. It looks good” he tried to fix, but you laughed at the compliment that you definitely wouldn't pass up.

"Aren't you cold?"

“No, my shirt and vest help,” Spencer replied, showing you the long sleeve of her white shirt. “I also have my scarf, did you forget it?”

"The best choice in all your outfits" you joked, reaching out a hand to feel the soft fabric of the garment and looking at him, with that cute shy smile "What will you do when you get to your apartment?"

“Huh, probably get some sleep. I haven't been resting properly in the past few days."

"Nightmares again?" you sadly asked. Spencer had talked to you superficially about it a few days ago, although you thought that he had suffered from this disease for much longer than he wanted to admit. He didn't answer verbally, he just nodded his head and you thought he didn't want to delve into it “I think I'll spend a while in the bathtub and then I'll sleep. I'm exhausted"

“You close doors and windows before you sleep, right?”

"I do," you assured him.

“Do you also take your cell phone with you to call in case of emergencies?”

"Huh, yeah"

"Good. Take care of yourself” he insisted. Those didn't sound like random recommendations and that puzzled you a bit.

"I do, Reid," you replied softly. When you noticed that the concern in his features did not leave him, you thought it would be prudent to ask him why that was "Are you worried about something?"

"No, it's not that" he hastened to answer. You still had a few blocks to go to get to the subway and only a few passers-by walked the streets, besides you.

“Are they unsub then? Anything in particular that worries you?"

"It's nothing like that. It's just…” he gasped, still unsure to continue, “if I tell you, you'll think it's silly”

"Of course not. Tell me, what is it?" you asked. He was internally debating if he should tell you what he was thinking and he was convinced a little when he felt your hand on his arm, as if prompting him to speak.

“Yesterday I…” he started to say “I had a nightmare. I dreamed when I arrived at the office I found out that something bad had happened to you. And… I don't know, it felt very real and I couldn't get it out of my head” he admitted. You understood that perhaps it was the reason he had wanted to accompany you, as if he feared that someone might stalk you on the way.

“Spence” you murmured gently, as you pulled him a little in your direction to place one hand on his bicep and the other on his forearm “Don't worry, nothing's going to happen to me. My apartment complex has a good security system and I always carry my gun, if something happens on the street, I will know how to deal with it. They're just bad dreams, I have them sometimes too” you said to reassure him. You felt quite comfortable walking in that position and you continued a couple of steps holding him like this, looking for some negative sign from him, but it never came. With the closeness he managed to feel a little less fear, reminding himself that what tormented him were fantasies of his own mind, that if they were analyzed with a little more detail they were an unconscious reflection of how much he feared losing you.

"I told you it would be silly"

"It is not. It's quite sweet, actually,” you smiled, moving your thumb up and down as you smiled at him. In that position your face was at the height of the boy's shoulder and it was enough for him to turn his head to reach your forehead, so he wondered how much you would bother if he left you a kiss there. He wanted to, but held back.

“I just thought I should tell you. For you to be careful"

“Same to you, Reid. You have a rather peculiar ability to get into trouble” you exclaimed accusingly, because in a couple of cases the man had already managed to get on your nerves.

The position turned out to be cozier than you expected and you continued walking the rest of the streets towards the subway in silence. He concentrated on the feeling of your body so close to him and your hands gently holding him, while you lost yourself in thought wondering what you really felt about your coworker and what he felt for you. Spencer would look at you from time to time, analyzing your gestures and enjoying the sight of you wearing his clothes, something he didn't think would affect him the way he did.

“Did you know that railway suicides have a very small percentage in the country's suicide rate?” he told you, while the two of you looked at the subway tracks that you were waiting for. You had had to distance yourself to be able to pay the pennies for the ticket and you had decided to place your hands in the pockets of your borrowed coat, caressing the lining fabric with your fingers.

"I had no idea" you muttered. You were a little surprised that he always had an interesting fact about literally anywhere you were and you loved hearing him tell you “It must be horrible. And very sad"

"Even the government allocates certain resources to pay for psychological therapy for drivers who witness these suicides"

"Well, at least it comforts me to know that part of my taxes ends there," you joked bitterly and the train stopped just as you finished saying it. Reid let you first into the nearly empty car that would take you home, and along the way you continued to talk about less unfortunate things, like the dinner choices you were planning or the TV shows that were likely to be airing when you arrived.

Having those little quiet moments with him made you feel lucky and the laughs he managed to get filled your chest with joy, making you completely forget everything related to work. The voice in the wagon warned that your stop was next and an anticipated sadness invaded you.

“Be…”

"Be careful, I know" you smiled. Since you were already on your feet, so as not to miss your stop, you crouched down to give him a quick goodbye hug “See you tomorrow. Try to sleep and if you have nightmares you can call me, okay?" you muttered. He nodded from his place as he watched you leave towards the platform and leaned out the window to see your figure disappear into the distance.

Neither of you two realized that you had kept his coat until you got home.

As of that night, that coat returned to see the doctor's closet on very few occasions and the purple scarf went on to have joint custody. He had found out that if he loved anything more than wearing the clothes you gave him, it was seeing you wearing them, causing him to come up with totally pathetic excuses to accomplish that. 

"It's a bit cold" "Purple matches your clothes" or simply "keep it, it looks better on you than on me"

It soon became a habit. During the cases, when you two were apart, it was a little comforting to have something of him with you and when he came home, he would enjoy breathing in the smell of your perfume impregnated on the fabric.

After a few weeks you realized that, without a doubt, you were so in love with him. And when he realized the same thing, he was completely terrified.

“Reid” you greeted him one morning, catching up with him as he poured himself a coffee and analyzed a piece of bread that had surely been sitting there since the day before. Hugs when seeing him had also become a habit, quite nice from the man’s point of view "I have something for you"

"Again?"

"Oh yeah," you smiled. Lately you had been filling him with small gifts and most of them quite rare, but which he kept suspiciously in his desk drawer. And it's not that he didn't appreciate it, but that he was beginning to feel guilty for receiving so many and not having given you any yet. "Give me your keys," you asked and he obeyed without even questioning you. Once you had them in your hand, you took a strip of colored beads from your pocket that you added as a key ring, while he looked at you with some confusion.

"What's that?"

“My friend asked me to babysit her daughter this weekend and we went crazy with crafts. So I thought I'd do this to you” you muttered. He took a closer look at the keyring and noted that you had included his favorite colors, purple and green, as well as a heart-shaped bead at the end. "I know it looks like a preschool kid's creation and if you're embarrassed to wear it you can throw it away”

"No, I like it. It's pretty,” he smiled, running his long fingers over the beads. Satisfied with the answer, you took out your own keys and proudly showed them to him.

"I have one just like it," you said happily. That was true, only yours was made of pink and blue, and the way you said it completely touched the man.

"You make me think that there is still goodness in this world, you know?" he exclaimed, so sincere and without thinking that he surprised you "I loved it, thank you very much"

"Now that I think about it, it's like one of those friendship bracelets you make at summer camp”

“I never went to a summer camp”

"I don't know why I'm not surprised" you laughed and would have continued the conversation if it hadn't been for Hotch's interruption.

“We've got a case. Conference room in 5”

Sometimes you forgot that the real reason you were there was the criminal profiles and not seeing Spencer Reid every day.

You just woke up one morning and knew you had to tell Spencer how you felt about him. As you said before, Spencer seemed to have a special magnet for trouble and proof of this were the cases in which he had to perform dangerous tasks that you knew no one else could do. When he had to get on that train with Ted Bryar you'd gone crazy and last week when he'd watched that cult boy on Massanutten Mountain threaten Reid with a gun you decided you'd had enough.

He had expressed concern for your well-being on multiple occasions, but what about his? Didn't you have the right to care about him just as much? every time he came back you wanted to throw yourself into his arms and whisper in his ear if he was okay, to maybe leave a kiss or two on his cheeks. But every time he came back you just cheered with the rest of the team and barely had contact with him beyond a squeeze on the shoulder and a sincere: I'm glad you're okay.

So you thought that if you wanted to have that kind of privilege over others the only alternative was to profess your love to him in the hope that he would feel the same way and you could work something out.

Spencer, for his own part, also had his epiphany and as much as he tried to avoid it he ended up asking Morgan for advice, who was the only person he thought would be suitable to talk about this kind of subject. Surprisingly, Derek behaved discreetly and really gave the doctor valuable elements to understand one of the few sciences in which science was almost obsolete: love.

Going back to recently acquired habits, walking together to the subway was another one of them. Sometimes this was interrupted because he or you stayed longer than the other, but except for those cases it was a regular activity.

So that night, when you two were walking to the station, your mind was immersed in remembering the speech with which you planned to tell your friend.

"You're very quiet today," Reid observed, taking you by surprise. In a few months he had already learned very well some traits that indicated that something was wrong with you.

“Sorry, I… I have a few things on my mind,” you apologized, but Spencer didn't know what to say because he also had his own things on his mind. He was desperately searching for a way to put into words what he felt, but he kept wondering, could that be explained? All attempts at reasoning became useless with you near him, maybe that's why he couldn't think of how to tell you "Reid, I don't think I've ever asked you, but have you ever had a partner?"

"Like… couple?" he asked, trying to make sure you were referring to the same thing he thought.

“I know it sounds weird, but it just… made me curious,” you exclaimed, shrugging and then crossing your arms in an attempt to comfort yourself. Reid fondly watched how your arms were on that purple scarf and felt a little motivated to speak.

“Huh, in that case, yes, something like that. I dated two people when I was in school, but it wasn't anything serious, just a few kisses” he explained to you and you failed to contain your laughter, maybe because of the way he had explained it. Spencer blushed to his ears and smiled reflexively at your smile. "Don't tease!"

"I don't" you defended yourself. Another person walked down the sidewalk and he reached out his arm to move you protectively in front of him, so when you came back to his side you took advantage of the distance between you, to the point where your shoulder brushed against his arm.

"And you?" he asked after a while of silence "Have you had many boyfriends?"

"The truth? not so many. With most of them I lost interest after the first date and the others left me when they found out I was in the academy. Apparently armed women aren't very attractive” you smiled. You had asked about his romantic history, and incidentally talked a bit about yours, only to open the topic and somehow feel that your confession would not be so out of place.

“There are studies that indicate that women take longer to fall in love than men, perhaps that is why you lost interest quickly. For you it takes about 6 or 8 dates to decide if you want something with a person, because you are more selective and better analyze personality traits in men. But they only care that the girls are… well, pretty” he murmured, with a smirk “On average it takes women 134 days to fall in love while men only 88”

“How long have you and I known each other?”

"It must be like... a year and a half now" he exclaimed, mentally doing the math "Why?" he continued legitimately confused. For the genius that he was, Reid was naive at times.

You looked down at him and for a second thought that even with those bags under his eyes and the stubble he hadn't shaved, Spencer was the most handsome man you'd ever met. Not receiving an answer, he looked at you and was surprised to see the sparkle in your eyes.

"Okay, can we stop here for a moment?" you asked. You knew you were probably going to chicken out if you didn't say it right then, even if that closed beauty salon you were standing in front of was an unromantic place. "I need to tell you something”

You had said it with determination, but once you were face to face, your mind went blank. You panicked: how were you going to tell him? What was the right thing to say? What reaction did you expect?

But Spencer, noticing the silence, decided to be the first to speak.

“Noradrenaline is a neurotransmitter that produces excitement and effusivity, increases heartbeat, blood pressure, causing sweating of hands and flushing. High dopamine levels generate a need to be with the person that releases it and is related to serotonin, which generates well-being, optimism, social closeness, and reduces discomfort and anger. Phenylethylamine makes everything more intense, makes us feel more motivated and optimistic and finally, oxytocin is the love hormone par excellence, it occurs when we have a bond of trust with people or when we feel a strong attraction. Sometimes it is also released when we embrace the reason for our affection” he had said that so hastily and waving his hands, that he could only show how nervous he was. He inhaled to catch his lost breath, then finally made eye contact with you, taking a moment before continuing, “What I'm trying to say is…you make me feel all of that. You alter my chemistry in ways I've never thought of and… and I… go all goofy and don't know what to say…”

"Spencer" you interrupted him "You mean you like me?" you asked gently, because you knew that when he started to wander sometimes you needed to bring him back down to earth. Reid looked at you tight-lipped and nodded slowly.

You were silent for a second, trying to process what he had just told you, and he got even more nervous than he was.

“But I think that after all this what I care to know is… if you feel the same way. Or in the worst case, if you think you might feel something like this”

“A total chemical mess for you?” you exclaimed amused. One of your hands went to his and you gently held it, taking a step closer to him. “I'm sorry, Reid. I feel it every time I look at you, that you hug me, every time I give you those silly gifts and see the smile on your face. Everything in you causes me that"

"Are you serious?" he asked, wanting to be completely sure what he was hearing. You laughed and wrapped your free arm around his neck, pulling him into a hug.

“Of course I do. Before you said all that I was racking my brain trying to find a way to tell you how I felt."

“Did you know that this is a phenomenon? There are those who call it the tuning fork effect, which is when two people connect the same idea at the same time, almost as if they had been thinking at the same frequency.”

You chuckled and buried your head in his neck, letting go of his hand so you could hug him properly. He wrapped both arms around your waist and buried his head in your hair, willing to say nothing more for fear of ruining the moment. All the fears you had had were being buried with that contact, because now you had the certainty that what you felt was mutual.

You stayed like that for what felt like hours, just listening to the gentle beating of his heart and enjoying the sense of security that being in the man's arms made you feel.

"I really like you" you broke the silence, with a whisper, making him smile.

"I think the most logical step from here would be to ask you out on a date, no?" he muttered. You pulled away enough to look at him, but still leaving your arms around his shoulders.

“I don't want to have to wait. Let's go for a burger"

"Don't you prefer somewhere more... formal?"

"Leave formal places for proposals, handsome," you said in a playful voice, caressing his cheeks with your extended palm and he made a mental note that this Italian restaurant he was thinking of inviting you to would be the ideal place to ask you to take the next step, when the time was right. 

“I still have to take you on at least 6 dates, to be sure”

"Fuck the statistics, I don't need that burger to know I'm in love with you," you said and he grinned from ear to ear.

“I know a place with an excellent health label and organic food, it is a few streets from here”

"I follow you" you answered cheerfully "On one condition"

"Which?"

"Let me hold your hand," you asked softly and Reid wasted no time in fulfilling your wish, leading you to the restaurant that way.

And at the end of the night, when you stole a kiss from him, he couldn't have felt luckier.

[imthebadguyyy]

Something Just Like This II

pairing - charles leclerc x reader

fandom - f1

summary - a look into your relationship

part - ii (part II) (part III )

a/n - more angst??

"everyone, I want you to meet charlotte”

never before had a single sentence made your head whirl the way it was. never before had you felt nauseous at the sight of your best friend, but that day, the wine you had drunk threatened to make an unpleasant comeback. never before had you felt your heart shatter at the sight of a person before, but you swore you heard your fragile heart shatter into a milllion unfixable pieces, as you stared at the gorgeous brunette with the sweet smile, currently greeting charles’ family.

it wasn’t just you that stood shell shocked. pascale stared openly at her son, confusion and sadness visible in her eyes, but nevertheless, the matriarch of the leclerc family greeted the young girl with a smile, kissing her on the cheek and welcoming her to the home that suddenly felt so cold to you. lorenzo stood up to, ever the kind hearted one, greeting her and offering a glass of wine to her.

arthur was the only one that sat shell shocked, mouth agape, and it wasn’t till lorenzo nudged hum gently that he stood up to greet the woman.

the smile on charles’ face made your already hurting heart ache a little more. he looked so happy, and you hated it. you felt the easy tears rising again, threatening to spill over, but you forced them back. no. you were not going to have a breakdown in front of charles and his family, and his new girlfriend. girlfriend. the word had never seemed so painful before.

but you put on your camera smile, flashing charlotte a warm smile, and giving her a small hug. “Hello, I’m y/n” you smiled softly at her, admitting to yourself that she really was a beauty. "hello, I’m charlotte, I’m a big fan!” she exclaimed, and you forced yourself to keep the smile on your face. “always a pleasure to meet the fans” you joked half heartedly, and she laughed. much to your relief, pascale, sensing your discomfort, pulled the girl into a conversation on the other side, leaving you, arthur, lorenzo and charles in her drawing room.

"so charlotte sine huh?” arthur asked, face blank of any emotion. he recognised the girl well, having grown up quite near the family. “yes, I met her the other day on my run and figured I might as well ask her out on a date” he smiled, grinning it himself at the memory. “she seems nice, n’est ce pas?” lorenzo asked, throwing you a sympathetic smile. “oui, elle est tres gentile” he affirmed, and you fought back the urge to cry once more. “mais, y/n, you didn’t tell me you would be here?” he said, pulling you in for a hug,

y/n. not cherie. that was your first thought. of course you wouldn’t be cherie anymore. no, you’d have to give up that title, you reasoned, inhaling a shaky breath.

"i wasn’t supposed to. but i met maman in the afternoon and she invited me over for dinner, and i missed you guys so i thought i might as well” you said, quite honestly. “lovely, that way I can introduce you to charlotte too, no?” he smiled, and you faked a smile once more, before politely excusing yourself.

taking deep shaky breaths, you slipped into the balcony, glass of wine still in hand, sipping on it slowly to keep you grounded, you recognised the sound of feet softly making their way to you, and before you knew it, arthur’s blue shirt came into your line of sight.

how are you holding up?” he asked, wrapping his warm around.

you let out a shaky breath, taking another sip of your wine, and throwing him a watery smile. “simply splendid, tur” you whispered, and arthur swore he felt his heart break for his older sister.

"il ne sait pas ce qu’il ressent cherie, donne lui de temps, je sais qu’il t’aime” he doesn’t know how he feels darling, give him some time, I know he loves you he said, and you let the first tear drop, feeling it roll slowly down your cheek and drip onto the railing.

“no don’t cry” arthur mumbled, feeling such sadness on your behalf. with a soft sigh, he pulled you in for a proper hug, letting you bury your face in his shirt, and balancing your wine glass on the balcony railing.

how had it come to this? this wasn’t how you expected your night to go. you had hoped at the end of it you and charles would have been the ones cuddled up on the couch, laughing and chatting with his mother.

but unfortunately, fate had different plans.

dinner was an oddly quiet affair. pascale’s delicious dinner received multiple compliments from the five of you, but there was an odd tenseness in the air. and you knew it was because of your presence, that the atmosphere was so tense.

"merci maman, pour le diner, mais, je pense qui je vais rentrer chez moi, maintenant, je suits tres fatigue” thank you mum for the dinner, but I think i will head home now, I’m very tired you said, giving the woman who had been a second mother to you all your life a tight hug. you saw your own sad smile reflected on her face, and she gave you a bowl of chocolate mousse to take home.

"leaving already?” lorenzo asked, pulling you in for a hug as well.

“oui, je suis tres fatigue, enzo” you whispered, and he dropped a kiss to the top of your head. “d'accord, bonne nuit ange” he said, and you smiled at him. arthur insisted on walking you all the way to your car, and you let him, grateful for his company.

“is he gonna be with her forever?” you asked, the childish question slipping past your lips, voicing the fears you had in your heart. you knew it was silly to ask. but you had to ask, you just had to.

"no, don't be silly ange. of course he won't. i know he's my brother and i do love him unconditionally but he is terrible at maintaining relationships. in fact he is utterly hopeless. you know why? because he isn't with the woman he truly loves" arthur stated, helping you into your car.

you just sighed, leaning up to kiss his cheek and then starting the engine. the roar of your ferrari brought a small smile to your face, and waving him goodbye, you drove out.

yes, you were distraught but no, you were not going going to let it wreck you. but even as you forced yourself to be strong, you could feel your heart cracking into a million pieces in your chest. you had felt heartbreak before but never had you felt so absolutely wrecked over someone. not just someone.

your best friend. your bestest friend in the whole wide world.

and you had never told him you loved him.

the thought brought bile rising to your throat, and you had to pull over to throw up.

finally, you stopped resisting the tears, and let yourself break down completely in the car, parked near the dock in monaco. you sobbed and sobbed and wailed, lashing out at the wheel of your ferrari, releasing all your pent up hurt.

you turned the radio up, trying to muffle out the sound of your tears. the last thing you expected was the knock on your window, that had you reaching for the pepper spray and slowly lowering the window.

"hey, you doing okay y/n? i saw your car and i heard what sounded like crying so i thought.." your eyes met lewis' sweet ones, currently displaying concern for you.

lewis hamilton leaned down, taking in your red eyes and nose.

he knew you quite well, he had seen you with charles and lorenzo and andrea very frequently around the paddock, and had even spent time with you in monaco when charles invited him for dinner.

he'd never admit it, but he had always thought you were beautiful. but a few stories from pierre suggested to him that you and charles were a thing so he never said anything to you.

but here you were, tears streaming down your face, blasting someone like you by adele on the radio and he knew something was wrong.

"oh! hey lewis. didn't think anyone would be here, i just wanted a minute" you smiled.

"i can leave if you want, just wanted to make sure everything was okay" he said, and you were touched by the sincerity in his eyes.

"im okay" you spoke softly, not trusting your voice to go above a whisper. "but i could do with some company" you admitted, chuckling.

"anytime" he smiled back at you. you opened to door to your car, letting him slide in the passenger seat.

"out on a jog were you?" you asked, driving down to your favourite icecream store (vegan of course)

"yep, i had a lot on my mind and i just wanted to run it all off y'know" he said, and you noticed the shift in his eyes and the sadness reflecting in them.

"this season's getting to you isn't it?" you whispered, and felt your heart go out to him when he nodded.

"lewis, one season doesn't define you...and you've been performing marvellously considering the car you have. im not exactly an f1 whiz but you're still the best. without a doubt" you said honestly.

lewis chuckled, and then turned to face you directly. "don't let charles hear you say that" he joked, and immediately he noticed the shift in your demeanour.

"uh yeah i won't" you mumbled, with a tight smile. "is everything okay with you two?" lewis asked, concerned.

you sighed, stopping at the store and looking determinedly out the window, trying your hardest not to cry.

"yeah it's all okay. im just a little overwhelmed right now is all" you sighed.

lewis nodded, not pushing you to tell him anything you didn't want to.

"c'mon, let's go and get some ice cream" he smiled at you, getting up to open your door.

your story

caption : late night snack 💗@lewishamilton

replies -:

@.yourbestfriend - girlie pop is that lewis hamilton you've tagged?!?!

@.arthurleclerc - icecream without me? :(

@lorenzotl- icecream with lewis?

@lewishamilton - had so much fun! definitely trying the biscoff one next time💜

@.charlesleclerc - is that our icecream spot y/n?

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

sighing, you let your hand crash against the piano, wincing at the discordant notes.

this stupid melody had been playing around in your head for weeks and you couldn't put it into a proper song.

at the same time you had also decided the best thing you could do was put space between you and charles, and so, your communication had decreased significantly.

arthur still spoke to you regularly and visited you almost every week. he often brought carla along, who you adored, and who thought of you as an older sister.

he kept you updated on how everyone was doing, and you spoke to lorenzo and pascale over text when you could.

but of course it was hard to avoid your best friend when your social media feed was full of posts about him, now more often with his girlfriend, and you were having a hard time ignoring it.

letting your head drop back, you stretched, hearing your back crack like bubble wrap. the ding of the text notification from your phone made you sit up, smiling when you saw lewis' contact pop up on the screen

lewis h 💜: hey, just wanted to check in on you and make sure you're doing okay?

you : hello, I'm doing okay, thank you for asking 🫶🏼

lewis h 💜: what have you been upto?

you : just trying to figure out this melody, it's driving me insane

lewis h 💜: don't dress about it. i've heard your music and it's absolutely phenomenal. just relax, breathe, and let the music flow.

you : thank you. i can't thank you enough

lewis h 💜: anytime darling 💗 hope to see you soon?

you : ill be there at the monaco grand prix!

lewis h 💜: ive been meaning to ask, would you like to come as my guest to the mercedes hospitality?

you : id love to but..i don't want to cause a media storm..

lewis h 💜: fuck the media honestly. if i want to bring a friend to the paddock, ill bring a friend to the paddock.

you: lewis hamilton swears? 😯

lewis h 💜: hahaha. so ill see you there?

you : yes. ill be there 💗

lewis h 💜: looking forward to it y/n 💗

smiling, you put your phone down, almost giddy with excitement.

like magic, the melody seemed to fall into place and you called your friend jack.

"hey jack, I've got this idea, but ill need some help" you said.

jack antonoff laughed and said, "on it. another pop hit in the making?" he smirked and you laughed. "i sure hope so. ill see you soon then"

you smiled to yourself.

maybe life wasn't so bad after all.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

@kymillman- @yourinstagram arriving at the monaco grand prix, but not in her usual manner with @.charlesleclerc, but rather with @lewishamilton, with a mercedes cap. she also made her way past the ferrari hospitality and went to the mercedes hospitality, but always a pleasure to photograph her.

@predestinato - oh dear what did charles do :( she's always supporting charles at all the races and she's been at every monaco grand prix since he got into f1. i miss her :(

@charles16monaco - she's with lewis now? i was hoping to see her at monaco with the leclercs.

@ynfan23 - mother is serving as always!! but i do wonder where charles is...

@ynlnisaqueen - serving looks and badassery.

@charlesbanana - charlie noo :( but yn looks gorgeous as always but i don't want to lose her to mercedes 😭

@lh44fanbase - sir lewis?? shooting his shot?? with our resident popstar queen?

pushing your sunglasses up your nose, you took in the sight of the monaco paddock, smiling as the sun warmed your skin.

the buzz and chatter and roar of engines felt like home, and you felt so excited to be back.

you spotted lewis, walking with roscoe to the media pen, and you watched as he turned towards you and shot you a bright smile.

you didn't expect him to turn and sprint towards you, and wrap you in a hug. you heard the click of cameras behind you but you didn't care. you were glad to have a friend in the paddock.

it felt a little strange to not walk into the red, bustling ferrari hospitality, and instead into the calm atmosphere of the mercedes one. it felt strange to walk past the sea of red, and you did feel a tinge of guilt.

lewis noticed. and he nudged you, bending to whisper, "it's okay, we're just here as friends. and it's just one race. let's just chill okay. ill treat you to more icecream too" he smiled and you giggled, walking into the hospitality.

across the paddock, charles frowned. he hadn't known you would be at the paddock. you were always at the monaco paddock with him, ever since his first grand prix.

he was used to seeing you wearing some element of red, a cap or a shirt or pants. but you were wearing a mercedes cap, and you hadn't even bothered to tell him you would be at the gp.

he pursed his lips, and decided to make his way to the car. he just needed to be focused on the quali and not on how you were with lewis-

no. he shook his head vigorously. he did not need that image in his head.

from the corner of his eye, he saw carlos approaching, and he sighed. he knew what he'd ask.

"cabron, where is y/n? why is she at mercedes? what did you do?" he asked.

"i did not do anything and i don't know why she's there" he said, sounding more put off than he meant to.

"are you sure? she always supports ferrari.." he trailed off, noticing how sad charles looked.

"what do you think happened?" carlos asked, leaning against the wall. the spaniard hadn't know you for very long, but in the time that he had, he had become one of your closest confidantes. he knew he would have trusted you with anything.

"i don't know, but she has been distant lately ever since..." he trailed off, unsure of the conclusion he had come to.

"ever since what?" carlos asked, growing impatient.

"ever since i introduced charlotte to her and my family.." he trailed off, eyes clouding over.

"ah. i see" carlos said. he didn't have to say anything else. he knew that charles knew, what exactly he wanted to say.

"mate, i know that you and charlotte broke up, and I know that it's because of a very strong reason. don't mess up mate. she's something special and you know it." carlos told his friend.

charles sighed, eyes dropping to the floor.

"best of luck for quali mate" carlos said, clapping him on the back and leaving to get ready for his own quali.

unfortunately for them, quali was shit for ferrari. engine issues meant that charles was p10 and carlos as p12, and much more irksome was the fact that lewis qualified p1, and the cameras had planned to your grinning and clapping.

he stormed off to the drivers room, slamming his helmet on the ground and sinking down onto the bed, roughly grabbing his own hair.

"tu es tellement stupide charles, tellement stupide et maintenant tu perds l'amour de ta vie"

sighing, he reached for his phone, and opened up instagram. he instantly wished he hadn't.

the first post he saw made his heart shatter into a thousand pieces.

@yourinstagram - delighted to announce my new single 'it's nice to have a friend' is out now on!! to all my friends who've been there for me, new and old, i love you to saturn and back. thank you for being my people and for loving me and guiding me through everything. i love u all 🫶🏼💗

tagged - @yourbestfriend @lewishamilton @carla.brocker @lilymunihe @kika.gomes

@ynfans77 - OMG WHAT A MEW SJMGLE I AM LISINF MT MIND

-@ynisabadassqueen - same girlie sameee!! 😭 miss maam really just dropped a banger out of nowhere.

@ynrules - OH MY GOD ITS SO GOOD YAS KWEEN SLAY!!

@kika.gomes - forever proud of u my love 🫶🏼so glad to have seen you make this song and see u power through life. honoured to be your friend and ill love u forever. always wanna hang out with u.

@lewishamilton - honoured to be on your team. my support is with you always. so proud 💜

@yourbestfriend - my favouritest friend. my babygirl. my love. my sweetheart. my talented darling. forever proud of you. forever glad i gave u my glove. 🩷

@lilymunihe- my darling u are a force and i adore u. you're my favourite person ever. so proud and i'm always there for u. ps alex has been sobbing for half an hour I think u broke him

-@alexalbon- no I am not lily 😭😭 but gorgeous job y/n. many congratulations 🎉

@carla.brocker - congratulations mom soeur. i love u always 🩷💗🫶🏼 so glad to have u in my life and have u guiding me. you're an icon and a force to be reckoned with. forever grateful for u.

@arthur.leclerc - you are truly a wonder. congratulations cherie! 🩷

@yncharles2216 - she didn't tag charles :( all those years of friendship...

@charlesfans - she's two faced. forgot charles already.

-@ynfans - we don't need u here. mother slays and you're a loser.

liked by @arthur.leclerc @.kika.gomes @.yourbestfriend and @carla.brocker

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

charles took in the sight of the blue waters surrounding the boat.

his brothers, their girlfriends, his mother and their friends had all decided to spend the day on the boat. lorenzo and arthur were enjoying the football game on the tv, and carla and charlotte (lorenzo's girlfriend) were enjoying a sunbathing session on the deck.

charles sighed. he missed your presence on the boat. in fact, he missed your presence overall. usually, the both of you would be chatting away to glory, or playing games or just lounging about together.

he hadn't realized exactly how much your presence meant to him until you had slowly begun to pull away.

he felt tears rise up and he blinked them away furiously.

from the corner of his eye, he saw his mother approach him.

"salut maman" he smiled, kissing her cheeks.

"charles, pourquoi as-tu l'air si triste?" charles why do you look so sad?

"je ne sais pas maman, je... elle me manque tellement" i don't know mum, i... i miss her so much.

"mon fils, tu sais, je sais, nous savons tous que tu aimes y/n. pourquoi tu ne lui dis pas chérie ? elle t'aime tellement aussi et ça me fait mal au cœur que deux personnes destinées l'une à l'autre ne soient pas ensemble." my son, you know, i know,we all have known that you love y/n. why dont you tell her darling? she loves you so much too and it hurts my heart that two people destined for each other aren't together.

"mais... et si elle ne m'aime pas, maman ? je ne veux pas ruiner notre amitié et je ne veux pas la perdre. et c'est égoïste, mais je ne veux pas être blessé" but.. what if she doesnt love me back mum? i domt wamt to ruin our friendship and i dont want to lose her. and its selfish, but i dont want to be hurt..

"charles, l'amour est une douleur. dire à quelqu'un dont vous ne savez pas qu'il vous aime, que vous l'aimez est terrifiant, mais c'est ça l'amour. mais tu ne peux pas laisser cette peur t’arrêter. ne manquez pas votre chance de trouver le véritable amour. souviens-toi de mon fils, un amour comme celui-ci n'arrive qu'une fois dans la vie" charles, love is pain. telling someone you don't know loves you, that you love them is terrifying, but thats what love is. but you cant let that fear stop you. dont miss your chance at true love. remember my son, a love like this comes only once in a lifetime.

"je le ferai maman. merci" i will mum. thank you.

pascale pressed a kiss to her middle son's forehead, and left him to his thoughts. she knew he had a lot to think about.

charles knew he had a lot to think about too. he knew he had to tell you that he loved you, because damn it, you were his sun moon and stars and he would be damned if he let you go.

he smiled, a plan forming in his mind. he called carla and arthur, knowing you had a soft spot for the two of them.

"les gars, j'ai besoin de votre aide" he said.

"how can we help charles?" carla asked, smiling at him.

"i want to tell y/n that i love her"

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

a/n - part ii finished!!! i hope you guys liked it 🩷🫶🏼 comments, feedback, opinions, reblogs are always appreciated! my comments and inbox and are always open so feel free to drop in any time!!

part iii should be up soon too!!

TAGS

those who responded to part i - @chanshintien @eternalharry @janeholt3 @magicalcowboyarbiter @oneafterdark @leclerc13

f1 tags - @theonly1outof-a-billion

all writing - @roslastyles420 @hopefulinlove @bluesongbird

TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST SEND ME AN ASK OR A DM 🩷

[little-forest-goblin]

First impressions Pt.3

Regency!Five Hargreeves x reader

Synopsis: In the regency era every woman wanted to marry a man that was wealthy and had good status. there was little time to get to know one another. But you Y/N L/N are the most reluctant to these whole marriage to random men you don’t fully know.

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———————————————————————

“Excuse me? mind if i cut in?”

You looked at him a little surprised. You looked to edward silently pleading him not to let him cut in but it went right past his head “Oh yes of course.” you cursed every god above and below for doing this to you. Edward let go of you and allowed five to cut in. Five took your hand in his and put his other one on your waist. You looked at him in disbelief. he looked down at you with a cocked eyebrow “what?”. you about wanted to blow up at him for just saying what but you had to keep your voice down and not draw a damned scene to yourself even though, in your opinion, it was hella justified. “What do you mean what?! You did that on purpose!” you said halfway a whisper and more seething. He sighed and looked down at you “I dont like him.” you about had half a mind to knee him in his dick but you kept yourself in line “What about him could you possibly not like?” he stayed silent for a moment considering and thinking until he came to his conclusion “He gives me the creeps.” you snorted “Yeah and you don’t give anyone else the creeps? You walk around with this air of miserable and arrogance it’s honestly quite astonishing. Your ego is as big as a-“ of course he cut you off not very fond of you insulting him “Now listen here, princess. i just don’t like his vibe! Now will you quite complaining and maybe let’s enjoy a dance, alright?” you looked shocked for a moment. How dare he interrupt with his arrogant babbling! “Why do you care anyway? Last i remember you didn’t like me to much and had no desire to get to know me.” you smirked satisfied with your comeback whilst his face dropped “You heard all that?” you nodded still looking quite satisfied with yourself. The dance fell into a silence until he broke it once more “I never said i didn’t have any desire to get to know you” you looked at him in the eyes trying to search for any false hope but when you found none yours softened. “Well then maybe don’t lie next time” he playfully scoffed “Oh please i never even mentioned that i didn’t want to get to know you. That was fabricated by your overthinking brain.” You glared at him till he got a small smile and you couldn’t help but laugh. You and him ended up talking randomly about the dance and party events.

At some point a while after you and him danced you and him ended up standing to the side with a glass of wine and watching some of the more crazy events of the party gossiping and giggling like school girls. He gestured to a older woman who looked uptight and like a stick was right up her ass keeping her walking straight. She had a fan fanning her face with a grumpy bored look and next to her was a man who was attempting to get her attention. “See that old woman? Her name is Mrs penfrock. The young man next to her is Mr penfrock” you looked to him shocked “No?! no that cant be that young man with that old woman?” he nodded and sipped his wine before bringing it away from his lips “Mhm thats him. Thats her 7th husband.” you gasped softly “7th? no! you must be kidding! You dont think she is-“ he interupted “killing them? oh yes i do. They all died of mysterious causes. If i had a say i’d search her home.” you chuckled sipping your wine looking over at him past the cup. he turned and looked at you meeting your eyes. Something in you both made shivers go down your spine’s. You set down your cup onto a small table. He chuckled softly you quirked a brow “What is it?” he shook his head “You have wine on your lips” you went a little wide eyed “oh! oh dear i-“ he brought his hand to your lips resting under your chin and his thumb wiping tour upper lip “Here…i got it” you stood frozen in place. you didn’t move. You didn’t make a fuss. You just let him. His thumb gently moved over your upper lip getting the wine and then to your bottom lip swiping away wine. His eyes locked onto yours and his pupils slightly blown and yours must’ve been too. His thumb stopped on your lip gently pulling it down a little. You don’t have a clue what came over you but you wrapped your lips around his thumb and your tongue gently licked the pad of his thumb, licking away the wine. His eyes went wide and his pupils blew wider. he let it happen his eyes locked on yours and soon a low rumble came from his chest. He leaned forward his hand against the wall behind you “If i were you i would stop before i am no longer able to contain myself.” you gasped softly your cheeks dusted pink and you reluctantly let go. He let his thumb linger before pulling it away. “I must go” he suddenly turned to leave and as you watched him walk away stunned you saw him walk oddly as if adjusting his pants.

Soon the party came to a close and you reunited with your family outside. Your mother and father were all red faced from dancing with each other so much and drinking the night away. You were still thinking of five and the thumb thing. You felt like you had screwed up by doing that. You felt like you fucked up a relationship that just started. You entered the carriage with your family. You caught a glimpse of Colin kissing a girls hand before coming towards you and the family and entering the carriage alongside you and the family. The carriage ride home was all laughter and talk of your experiences and the fun you had. You occasionally also spoke but your mind was mostly astray and far more interest in one singular person. Once home everybody ran to their rooms to undress and settle for the night or do what families do. You however were starved. You hadn’t eaten much at that ball. You entered the kitchen and looked into the pantries for something at-least adequate to snack upon. You ended up finding some biscuits your mother made just yesterday. You grabbed a few and munched upon them with some milk. You eventually were done and headed to your room. You sat at the vanity table and looked at yourself. Your hair had stayed up the night despite your fun and you looked a little sweaty but that didn’t necessarily bother you. You Got undressed tearing your bodice away and dress off. You went to your wardrobe picking your night gown and as you do so you cant help but for your thoughts to run to five’s touch. his hand on your waist, what would it feel like against bare skin if it affected you this much through just a layer of clothes. You swallowed tried to push those thoughts away. You threw on your night gown and just in time your father came in as you laid down in bed “Hey there, y/n?” you smiled and sat up “Hi father whats wrong?” he chuckled “Nothings wrong. I just came to ask how was the dance my little treasure chest?” you smiled softly at the affectionate term he has had for you since you were little “It was not as bad as i thought it would be.” he chuckled and and took your hand giving it a gentle reassuring squeeze “See i told you it wouldn’t be that bad. You just had to have a little faith.” he leaned forward kissing your forehead “Goodnight, my treasure chest” you smiled up at him “Goodnight father” he smiled and left your room closing the door behind himself. You smiled and laid back in bed. You decided to set your worries aside and let that be future you’s problem for now. You just hoped it wouldn’t come to bite you in the ass. You looked out your window and you let your eye’s droop into a sleep. Today’s events soon slipping away as you slipped into a world of dreams.

In the morning you awoke to the smell of eggs being made and the sweet nectar of fruits being my cut. You exited your room your hair tousled and loose. You entered the dining room and sat at the table as you and your mother and father waited for the girls to awaken. your mother smiled over at you “Hello darling, early up i see. i expected you to be asleep still at this hour especially after all that fun” you smiled at her sleepily and lazily “Yeah but you know me mother i enjoy breakfast” she nodded and handed a plate “Well in that case i have your breakfast here” you smiled a little more eagerly and took the plate with a thank you and began to eat. father soon came inside with a letter and as he dis Trisha came in ready for breakfast. Father said “We got a letter from the Hargreeves manor. it must be-“ Trisha snatched it in excitement “It must be from Diego! i danced with him the other night he must be calling for me!” you chuckled and rolled your eyes softly “Trisha you honestly believe he is calling for you right now? Is he dying in a bed waiting for you?” Trisha gave a playful scoff and stuck her tongue out at you and looked back at the letter and opened it up. your father sighed smiling and shaking his head softly at her excitement but his face turned to concern when her’s dropped “Something wrong, Trish?” Trisha handed the letter to your father and he cleared his throat and pulled out his reading glasses perching them on his nose. Just then Maggie entered the room just in time to hear the results. “Dear L/N family, We Hargreeves officially invite you to the Hargreeves manor for a feast. We would be honored to have your company signed….” everybody waited patiently as father paused in confusion. Maggie curiously spoke up “Well what? who signed it?” mother went to father and held his shoulders and looked at the letter he turned it to her so she could see “Signed…Five Hargreeves” your eyes snapped up and went wide

Wait…Five Hargreeves?

———————————————————————

hi i hope you liked it! Please stay safe and happy. i love you ❤️

[fatkish]

Hello! On the mortem omega x Shoji post, you mentioned possibly doing a NSFW pt 2. Just wanted to say, that's a fabulous idea, and if you're looking for an excuse to do it, we can call this a formal request. Have a lovely day!

Mezo Shoji x Mortem Omega Reader Pt. 2 NSFW

Since Mortem omegas are more instinctual than regular omegas, they tend to present earlier or later and mature differently. In my a/b/o universe, things are a little different. People regularly present around ages 16-18 but their second genders aren’t sexually matured until their 19-20. So even though someone has presented as an omega or alpha, they aren’t fully matured until 2-3 years after. Essentially, alphas and omegas go through a second puberty as their bodies fully redevelop and such. But Mortems can present as early as 15 and as late as 45. And it only takes a year to a year and a half for a Mortem to fully redevelop.

In this instance, reader is an early presenting Mortem

Currently, Mezo and reader are both 18 for the story’s plot

Mezo had presented at 16 and reader at 15

Reader’s omega had already decided that Mezo was their perfect alpha whether he presents as an alpha or not, and that they’d wait for him

Mezo had made sure to get an apartment with (y/n) right after graduating so that he would be able to help them through their heats

Mezo is large and honestly loves the size difference between them

He allowed the reader, (y/n) to build a nest in its own room and their shared bedroom would be in another

Reader is always moody and grumpy whenever they’re close to their heat

The reader had finally finished the nest and left to find Mezo and drag him to their nest

Mezo didn’t have to be asked twice, he scooped the reader up and brought them into the nesting room where a mini fridge and microwave were stored

The reader and Mezo track their heats and ruts so they can make sure to prepare healthy bento meals for the duration of them. They put the meals in the mini fridge and heat them up if needed

The reader can be bossy but Mezo doesn’t really care if his omega bosses him around, which is what makes him perfect

When the reader’s heat starts, Mezo will use his quirk to draw out the reader’s pleasure

Mortems are typically needier than regular omegas so they tend to have multiple mates

But not (y/n), they have Mezo so they don’t need multiple partners

Whenever Mezo is worn out, he’ll use his quirk to alternate his hands and mouths so he doesn’t tire out

He bought the reader, a replica dildo of him with an inflatable knot as well as an ejaculation function

If his hips are tired, he’ll use the dildo as a replacement so he can rest

He loves forming mouthed on his tentacles and sucking on the reader’s nipples or clit/dick

He loves having the reader sit on his face, with his wider than average mouth, he’s able to reach further and deeper. Is basically made for eating the reader out

Loves bouncing the reader on his cock and pushing his hand into the readers pelvis to try and feel himself through them

He’s a big guy so he’s got a decent 9 inches with a solid 2 inch girth. His knot is 3 inches when fully inflated and he’s got a slight curve

He loves the noises his omega makes when he’s pumping into them. When he’s close he’ll growl into the reader’s ear and will bite their neck

He’s typically gentle but he can be rough if he wants

He aims for the reader’s sweet spots every time, forcing the reader to cum

He doesn’t mind licking the reader clean of their juices and actually kinda enjoys it since it drives the reader wild

His favorite positions are doggy style and the mating press

Once the reader is filled with his cum, he’ll press down on their pelvis, forcing his cum out of them in a large gush

The reader’s heats typically last 3-4 days so that’s 3-4 days of relentless sex with Mezo

After the reader’s heat is over, Mezo will cuddle them in his arms, snuggling them and rubbing the reader’s sore muscles

[always-just-down-the-street]

Okay, chat, so I am trying to work out a timeline for the Misremembered Lanes AU, and I am realizing there are two very interesting points to tackle before I even get to the finale- And honestly, both of them are way too interesting of topics to just do myself, so for the fans of the AU, here are your two major points.

Everything's A-OJ in Season 2.

OJ's elimination in Season 3.

These both feel like the first major wrinkles/differences in this AU's timeline compared to canon- because these two moments, they tackle directly into something I mentioned OJ struggles with. Control.

What happens when he's finally given control of the show, but now has to deal with new contestants that...don't know him enough to excuse his egomaniac/control freak tendencies or have the subconscious belief that because he won last season, he must be good? What happens when people actually question him, not like the people who just stay in the hotel do? Would his facade slip? Would anyone notice?

On the other hand- what happens when he finally loses all control? When against all odds, the "king of Inanimate Insanity"...finally has to face failure, face elimination? Would he begin to relapse into his original programming? Would he feel a relief he hasn't felt in so long but can't explain why and now chases after it once he's back at the hotel?

And on the other side of the coin, how does Taco change before the finale? Does she have any lingering feelings haunting her during S2 like OJ does? How does this influence her alliance with Microphone or her attempt to take over the show in Truth or Flare? That's definitely a fun one.

Consider this a post where anyone can post their headcanons or ideas for the Misremembered Lanes AU- they can follow these points or they can just be general ideas you might have about the AU involving OJ and Taco, maybe Suitcase and Box since they're included now, and obviously in saying that, all spoilers are allowed. Who knows, maybe I'll even make them canon if I think they fit enough (or are cool enough)...

In fact, let me begin with an idea of my own, get the wheel spinning.

~ 0 ~

What if Taco and OJ's buttons in MeLife are flipped after the S1 finale?

OJ's button spawns Taco, Taco's button spawns OJ- MePhone thinks it's some weird kink that occurred due to the 4S downgrade and it becomes one of the many things he hides, this one half because he just doesn't want anyone thinking he's about to revive Taco apropos of nothing and half because he genuinely doesn't know why.

But when the revelations start happening, MePhone distracts himself by wondering a question:

"Why would the downgrade cause OJ and Taco's buttons to be flipped, anyway? Neither of them died while I was dead, else they wouldn't respawn at all like Bow- did 4S do something? Or…"

And that's when he remembers those initial drawings he made.

OJ - Egotistical, Hates Losing, Caring?, Manipulative? Taco - Unpredictable, Wild Card, Underdog

…Their buttons aren't flipped.

They're flipped.

And consequently, when Suitcase tries to summon OJ and Paper…Taco's just as confused as everyone else when she appears next to him instead.

~ 0 ~

So, what do you all think? Feel free to say so in reposts or comments or whatever you do.

[lenaariewrld]

C.10 — after this (w)

ON THE AIR — childe x reader smau

| SYNOPSIS;; Teyvat University’s popular radio personality, Y/n L/n, has only one gripe with her life. Her classmate, neighbour, and all-around nuisance in her life, Tartaglia. Their rivalry extends just past academics and, to her horror, into her work. He becomes the music director and co-host for her radio show, working alongside her most nights and forcing himself even deeper into her life. But is he really trying to just be friends, or is there an ulterior motive to his actions?

| WC: 4.0k

previous! ~ masterlist ! ~ next!

When you wake up the next morning, you find yourself still dressed in your clothes from the party, tangled on top of the sheets. You had left your blinds half open, which was perfect for warm sunlight to stream over your features and disturb you from the most peaceful sleep in your life (or at least in this past week). A tired groan leaves your lips as you force yourself to sit up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Beside you, you find Cyno curled under your duvet and cuddling with one of your many pillows, his hair neatly braided. You’re surprised he’s there, honestly.

Not because it’s surprising to share a bed with the man. You two had had plenty of sleepovers in the three years you’ve known him. No, you’re surprised because he usually went home to his roommate to have his hangover properly dealt with and cured. You nudge his shoulder a couple of times until he stirs, rolling onto his back with a deep huff. “Whaaaat,” He whines, drawing out the syllable as long as he can.

“Do you have class today?” You ask, your voice barely loud enough to hear. You did not have the energy to speak properly, and you doubted Cyno did either. His brows furrow, pinching downwards in concentration as he tries to remember his schedule and the day of the week.

“...Yeah,” He finally answers, sitting up. You nod, stretching your back and rolling out of bed. Cyno untangles his hair while you change out of your tank top and shorts into more comfortable and less sensory-heavy clothes. “Do you want coffee?” He asks, padding over to your kitchen.

“Sure,” You pull a hoodie over your head, stepping into your bathroom and washing your face. Your head isn’t pounding nor do you feel like throwing up, thank god, but your body feels heavy and tired. Time moves like molasses as you whip yourself into working order, retrieving the cup of coffee Cyno has for you once you’re no longer a crusty, slept-in mess. He chugs his own cup and leans against your counter with a sigh, massaging his temples. “How do you feel?” You pose the question casually, bringing your caffeinated drink to your lips.

“Like death warmed up,” The man replies simply. You hum. He always had bad hangovers, even if he drank responsibly and didn’t get that fucked up. You, on the other hand, seemed magically immune to the poison of liquor’s after-effects. “How do you feel?” Cyno looks up at you when he repeats the question back, his brows raised slightly.

“Tired.. Slow,” You answer, tilting your head this way and that as you speak.

“Do you remember last night?”

With a shake of your head, you answer. You were sure you hadn’t had enough to get blackout drunk, but honestly, with how many shots you took playing games (or drinks you chugged for an excuse to not talk to Tartaglia or one of his friends) you know that’s just false confidence. Your friend nods slowly, gathering his words for a second.

“Mmm.. maybe that’s for the better,” Is all Cyno says, drinking the last contents of his coffee before he sets his cup in your sink to rinse. You finish the rest of your coffee, too. With your keys, bag, and phone in hand, the two of you leave your apartment to head to your classes, agreeing to just not talk about whatever happened. While you don’t entirely remember it, you have a fuzzy idea, and you’d rather save the embarrassment of having your messy behavior recounted to you.

With a wave and a ‘good luck’ you see Cyno off, trudging your way to your first lecture of the day. Thankfully, it was also a recording day, which meant you had only a couple classes and a few hours to get a nap in before you’d have to show up to the studio room.

Plenty of time to recover!

By the time you show up for the recording, you’d managed to get enough rest, food, and proper hydration in our system to feign normalcy around your friends and Childe. When you arrive, you find Keqing and Ganyu already there, both of them chatting casually. “Hey,” You nod as you slide your bag into an empty chair, dropping into the one right beside it. The two women greet you and ask about your day, passing the time until Childe arrives. The next time the door opens, Cyno pops in. He looks a lot better than he did that morning as well, rested and energized as he sets down drinks for all three of you and a small baggie of pastries he’d gotten for free. He slips into a seat next to Keqing after grabbing a scone for himself.

“Did you get home safely last night?” Ganyu asks as she stirs Stevia into her tea, the lid placed on a napkin.

“Yeah, I got us an Uber,” Cyno responds, breaking off a piece of the scone. “Y/n was basically asleep by that point,”

“Mmm, sounds like you had fun,” Keqing mumbles. She types rhythmically on her computer, likely making a few last-minute edits to the script before you begin recording. You chuckle at her monotone voice, digging around the pastry bag for a treat you might like.

“It was decent, much as I hate to say it,” You tell her with a shrug.

The door opens a minute later once more. Tartaglia is the one to enter this time, a box of donuts tucked under his arm. “Awh, I’m not the only one who thought about bringing treats today,” He comments as he spots you pulling a banana bread slice out of the pastry bag, a friendly smile on his face.

“Bribery won’t work that easily,” You hum, scooting over to make room for his donuts on the table. He sets his backpack on the floor beneath his feet as he sits down, taking up the last empty chair. Cyno reaches over to snatch a piece of your bread, giggling when you playfully move to bite at his hand.

“Maybe,” Childe chuckles. “But it might keep you from turning to cannibalism,” He slides the box a little closer to you, signaling you to pass it to the others once you’ve selected your donuts. You happily do so, setting your growing snack feast on an unfolded napkin. Ganyu and Keqing skip over taking any, which leaves Cyno to take a few for himself.

It’s quiet for a moment while Keqing finishes up and Ganyu focuses on checking if all the equipment was in order. Finally, after a couple minutes of snacking and small-talk, she turns her computer screen to face you and Tartaglia. “Here, you two read over this,” She tells you, allowing you to reach over and take the device from her hands. You and Childe lean slightly closer together, but keeping a respectful distance, and skim over the edits she made. Mostly, she fixed wording or added context where she thought it was needed, as well as a few re-writes that make the flow seem more natural to you.

“It’s good,” You give her a thumbs up. Tartaglia nods in agreement, handing back Keqing’s laptop a second later once he also finished reading. She smiles and takes it from him, typing a couple more things.

“Good, then you two can get in there and begin recording.” She says sharply, motioning for you two to enter the recording area. You groan around the bread you’d just taken a bite of. Dusting your hands off on your pants, you get up and shuffle into the recording area, dragging your chair with you. Thankfully, these ones had wheels, so it was easier to move them back and forth than the stubborn folding chairs that used to occupy this room when you started the radio show.

Once everything was ready and the recording began, you easily slipped into your usual persona, reading off your lines and going off script occasionally to make comments between you and Childe. As it went on, you noticed he was a lot quieter than before. Granted, you’d only recorded with him twice before and the first time had been more rough than necessary given the awkward hand off and your (admittedly) bitchy attitude. Still, it was strange. He would mostly stick to the script and only made one or two comments, never giggling when you messed up or mumbling under his breath. He didn’t throw in any obnoxious nicknames, and at times he seemed.. Distracted.

Whatever, you didn’t care what was going on in his mind. It wasn’t your business, and it made your life easier if he wasn’t being an annoying asshole every second of every day. And, it meant you could turn off your brain and just go through the motions of the recording.

When it was all said and done, you find yourself packing up earlier than usual. The clock was just past 9 o’clock. Cyno had dipped halfway through the recording so he could catch his roommate before it got too late, and Ganyu had decided to lean onto the table for a short power nap, leaving you, Keqing, and Tartaglia.

“Y/n,” Keqing calls your attention as she zips up her backpack, sliding it gently under Ganyu’s arms to give the other woman a makeshift pillow that was softer than the hard wood of the table. You smile a little as you watch her, giving her your attention. “Can you and Tartaglia shut down the booth? I’ll gather everything out here,” She asks, nodding her head in the direction of the small room with all the mics, soundboards, and other equipment that you used during recordings. You open your mouth to ask if you can just do it yourself or something, but before the words even leave you, she shoots you a pointed look. Just do what I ask.

“Okay, okay,” You hold up your arms and shuffle back towards the booth. Childe follows behind you. “We just need to power everything on the table off, to save power, and then collect all the cords and store them away.” You tell him, motioning to whatever you mention when you talk about it. He hums while you begin to find the power buttons on all the different equipment.

“You can’t just turn it off and call it a day?”

You shake your head, not looking away from your current task. “Technically, we could, but because this building is the university’s and is only unofficially ours, we can’t just leave it setup for our stuff. In case classes or other projects need to use this room. It doesn’t happen, but it’s a weird thing our advisor has gotten on our asses about and Keqing already deals with enough,” As you explain, you continue to do your task. Childe seems to pick up what to do as well and begins helping you, carefully untangling cords and rolling them up to put them away or whatnot.

“That’s annoying,” He mumbles, twisting a cable between his fingers. You shrug, leaning over the desk to reach the very back, feeling around for anything you might’ve missed turning off or unplugging.

It falls silent as you two work, the silence only a tiny bit uncomfortable. Childe sits on the floor as he pulls a bunch of cords into his lap. “So, how long have you worked on this show?” He asked.

You glance at him while you adjust the mics and move them back to their ‘starting’ positions, tilting your head slightly. You were a little confused by his question, surprised that he.. Well, cared. “Um, two years.. Almost three,” You answer. “Keqing had been looking for journalism students or English majors who wanted extracurriculars and the University wanted another way to generate interest in the school outside of the newspaper or gossip accounts,” You lean back against the desk, folding your hands over your chest.

“So… you just saw an ad from her?” Childe pressed. When you gave him a quizzical look, he shrugged. “I’m just curious.” He told you.

You chuckled dryly, not entirely believing him. “Well, no. Ganyu had introduced me to her, and all three of us ended up brainstorming a premise for a show to pitch to the dean. I had needed something to fill my time with my second year here… so, I kind of became a spokesperson for the show,” You chew on the inside of your cheek, your mood dropping a little as you recalled the beginning of this dear part of your life.

It was as precious to you as it was to Keqing, the both of you being the spiritual parents to the show’s creation and success. Ganyu had been an important component too, but she’d admitted on multiple occasions that she didn’t really need the show like you and Keqing had.

“Oh, that’s kind of nice you got to do that..” Childe breaks you out of your thoughts with his words, “It’s like how I started my band,” He says a little quieter, talking to himself while he rolled up more of the cords. You nodded, crossing your legs as you sat on the floor as well, taking some of the cables from him and helping him untangle the mess that had spawned under the desk.

It’s quiet again. Nicely so, almost peaceful as you two work together in tandem, moving through everything. You glance out the windows of the booth when you finish up, noticing that Keqing was trying to wake up Ganyu. “Let’s wait for them to leave,” You say, wanting to give the two women their privacy (aka: wing-womaning Ganyu)

“You want alone time with me that badly?” Childe raises his brows a couple times, but his face falls as he seems to catch himself. “No, sorry, forget I said that,” He corrects. Again, you give him a confused look.

“Did you get possessed or something?”

“No?” He crosses his arms over his chest, settling onto the floor again since it seemed like Keqing and Ganyu were going to be taking longer than a minute. “Like I said yesterday, I’m just trying to put us on the right foot..” He shrugs, “I figured if I keep annoying you, it would be easier to tolerate this arrangement,”

“It’d be easier if we didn’t have to have this arrangement,” You mumble off-handedly, balancing your hip on the edge of the desk. He sighs, throwing his hands up in exasperation dramatically.

“Seriously, why do you hate me so much? I’ve been on my best behavior all day and you still seem to find me irritating,” He huffs, pursing his lips slightly as he looks at you, studying your expression. Maybe he was trying to decipher your reasoning before you could tell him.

“Oh, please, one day of good behavior doesn’t mean we’re suddenly besties,” You punctuate your sentence with a roll of your eyes. You actually preferred the quiet from minutes ago to this. Even if tolerating Tartaglia was the last thing you wanted to do, it was easier when he kept his mouth shut rather than pushing and pushing a conversation. Especially a topic like this.

“I’m not asking to be best friends, I’m just asking for a little kindness on your end,” He retorts. “Besides, you didn’t answer my question,” He adds, crossing his arms over his chest. You roll your eyes again. He really didn’t know when to shut up (not like you did, either, considering you kept talking, too). Childe asks the question again when you only remain silent, nudging your shoe with his foot gently, which makes you take a step away from him.

Your tongue darts against your cheek for a second as you inhale deeply through your nostrils. Glancing out the little window, you notice Keqing and Ganyu still talking. Fine. You got yourself into this mess, you might as well just face it. “Do you remember your first year here? Our first year?” You ask, tearing your eyes away from the window to look at the ginger-haired man. He blinks a couple times, confused by the question you asked. His confused, clueless expression gives you the answer you need. “Of course you don’t,” You scoff.

You do, still finding it as fresh as when it happened.

Back when you first came to Teyvat University, you had managed to keep in contact with a lot of your friends from high school, and even maintained a similar social circle even though you’d moved away from your hometown. You were on cloud nine, having escaped from your childhood home and the overbearing expectations of your parents, and having managed to not lose everything you’d held near and dear when you entered university. Your closest friend at the time, besides Diluc, was a girl named Lumine. She had been with you through thick and thin for years.

She’d heard about your first kisses, first dates, seen you through your awkward braces phase and your wannabe-emo phase. And you’d seen her through her tomboy phase, her first breakup, her own first kiss and her first trip abroad without her brother. To say  you were each others’ rocks was an understatement. You cared about her deeply, and you thought she cared about you. Maybe she had before the fiasco of your first year.

Around halfway through the first semester, she had gotten a boyfriend. At first, you thought nothing of it. She still came to hangouts with your friend group, you still had your girls’ nights, and she still texted you frequently. But as time went on, she stopped talking to you or just hanging out with you alone, and whenever she did show up, she brought her boyfriend along. And her boyfriend had happened to be none other than Tartaglia. You and him had gotten along… fine, then. You didn’t hate his guts and though it was awkward with him, you could tolerate any weirdness for your best friend.

And then right before winter break, for no discernable reason you could tell, Lumine and Tartaglia broke up. While Lumine disappeared, unenrolling from the school, dropping out of classes, and blocking everyone (including you) with no warning; Tartaglia had decided to go on a rampage. Anyone he’d met through Lumine became collateral damage as he spread lies and rumors. And you got caught in the middle of it, seeming to be the biggest target for his smear campaign as he went one-by-one to every friend of yours, spreading lies about things you never said or did.

You lost all of your friends, and you couldn’t even defend yourself because your friends refused to believe you. Diluc had been the only one spared from that, and that was entirely because he’d gone back to his family in Germany to study abroad while his father recovered from a terrible illness. When the break came around, you stayed with him and his family all the way through to summer break. You’d been a mess and had been inconsolable.

Though the memory is foul, you recount it to the ginger, reminding him of the way he treated you and anyone else around him like a pawn in his game of manipulation. When you finish speaking, the air is tense and quiet. Childe’s eyes are wide, his mouth parted in shock. “I… I’m sorry, I don’t… remember that at all,” He runs his hand over his mouth, scratching his chin in thought. You huff, almost tempted to laugh at what he said.

“Convenient,” You push yourself off the desk, deciding that you had had enough of the conversation. He hadn’t changed. He didn’t actually care, and he didn’t actually feel any remorse. Not that you thought he did, but hey, you could always be wrong!

“Wait,” Childe scrambles to get up, gently grabbing your arm. “I don’t mean that as an excuse,” He says, his voice pleading.

You turn to him again, your head cocked to the side in irritation. “What did you mean, then?” You press, crossing your arms over your chest.

Childe chews on his bottom lip for a second, the gears turning in his head. He seems to be working out what to say in his head. “I mean.. I was, not in a great spot back then, and a lot of that year and even a good part of my second year are a blur,” He begins. “My mental health was shitty, and I was still learning a lot of the customs here after leaving my family, and all I remember was that I was spiralling really fucking bad when I met Lumine,” He runs his fingers through his hair as he talks, his eyes dark with some emotions that clearly didn’t seem pleasant.

“It’s not a good reason, but she had been the only thing to take me out of that spot I was in, and I didn’t have any friends at the time or any way to get in contact with my family yet.. I tried to get along with her friends, I think, but I remember none of them liked me. I was a foreigner, I looked different, I talked different, and I didn’t always understand what they said, so they treated me differently,” Again, he pauses to take a breath. You do remember that, you’ll give him credit. Even his accent back then was way stronger than it was now, and you remember a few of your friends at the time making fun of how hard it was to understand things he said. “Anyway, she… eventually got stressed out dealing with me, I guess, and she broke up with me and just left. I didn’t know what to do and no one I knew even liked me, so I… did the immature thing of trying to hurt everyone around me. I think if I targeted you it was because of how close you were to Lumine… and that was unfair of me,” He rambled a little bit, and you noticed his words becoming a little clipped.

“I’m sorry,” He finally said, looking at your face again. “I really am..”

You press your lips together as he falls silent, your brain running a mile a minute with this new information. It didn’t redeem him entirely, not by any measure, but you understood why he had done what he did. It sucked, and it hurt, but… You had also done and said shitty things to him since that time, so it wasn’t like you were completely absolved of anything.

“I get it.” You finally said. “You definitely still suck, but I understand it was hard to be… a decent person going through everything you did. I haven’t exactly been an angel either,” You shuffle your weight between your feet.

“You were better than me, though,”

“Well… I did start, like, five separate rumours about you during second year, so…” You wave your hand in a so-so motion, surprised when Childe laughs at your words, apparently finding it amusing that you were so blunt about your own retaliation.

“I had a feeling it was you,” He chuckles, stepping a little closer and holding out his hand. “I did mean it when I said I wanted to put us on even footing, and… now I think I can properly make it up to you, so… even if you don’t forgive me, can we at least just be acquaintances?” He wiggles his fingers as he finishes. “Start new?”

You shake your head lightheartedly, your stomach twisting strangely at the hopeful glint in his eyes. And, despite your better judgement or reason, you place your hand in his and shake. “Sure, we’ll start new. But you owe me coffee for at least a month, as reparation,”

“Oh, you’re a con woman,” Childe squeezes your palm, narrowing his eyes playfully as if he’s disapproving of your stipulations. He agrees, though and lets go of your hand, the both of you chuckling at the stupidity of that two-second exchange. You turn to the door again, noticing that some time during that conversation, Keqing and Ganyu had left. Yours and Childe’s bags sit on top of the table, the only ones left in the room. You grab your things, taking a couple more donuts for yourself before dismissing yourself and calling it a night, your chest feeling somehow lighter than it had before…

———

A/Ns: (im not entirely happy w the writing on this, but fuck it we ball) anyways, likes/reblogs/comments are always appreciated, and don't forget that you are amazing and wonderful as you are <33

TAGLIST: @popiizpops @scaradooche @yourfavoritefreakyhan @neversore

[tenebraevesper]

Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 3)

Welcome back to Part 3 of my character analysis, now focusing not only on Shadow, but also on Sonic! This part will be only covering the second half of Episode 09: Avoid the Void, as there is a lot to talk about. I had also realized that I probably could've just breezed through the episode, but instead, I had the urge to put these two hedgehogs under a microscope because they are so fascinating to talk about.

Let's dive in!

After realizing just how bad the consequences of his actions were and how Ghost Hill came to be, Sonic wonders how he should fix things. Shadow just sighs and tells Sonic to follow him, leading him back to the cave where the Paradox Prism was.

The first thing to note here is Sonic's body language as they arrive at the cave. At first, he seems to be ready to confront whatever is awaiting him, only for his expression to fall and he seems to be a bit lost in his thoughts, clearly reluctant to enter the cave. He understands what he had done and he is not ready to confront his past actions... at least, not until Shadow calls his name.

''Sonic!''

Shadow doesn't sound angry in this scene. It is more as if he's just trying to draw Sonic's attention to get him to move. I'm certain that Sonic would've stood in front of the cave for ages before even going inside, probably trying to come up with some excuse not to have to do this.

We see Sonic being quite unsure of this, holding his arm in comfort as he approaches the cave slowly, with Shadow patiently waiting for him. He clearly doesn't want to be here, especially since he doesn't know what to expect.

As Sonic walks into the cave, we also see Shadow briefly glancing at Sonic's shoes, which are reacting to the remaining Shard of the Paradox Prism, which is just more foreshadowing for what is about to happen.

Shadow then turns his gaze back to Sonic, who stares in grief at the lone Paradox Prism Shard within the cave, joining him a moment later. I think there is something quite telling about this scene. Shadow actually gives Sonic a moment to process everything, leaving him to contemplate in silence. There are no comments, no fighting, nothing... just silence. I do have a bit more to say about this moment, but I will leave those thoughts for a scene in Episode 17: Grim Tidings.

''I would do anything to be back...'' ''Home.'' *pauses* ''There is a chance.''

After Sonic has a flashback to the moment he shattered the Paradox Prism, he wishes for nothing more but to be back... home, as Shadow finishes for him. I do love that Shadow is the one who says ''Home'' here, showing not only that he understands Sonic's grief, but again, he acknowledges Green Hill as his own home as well. He then slightly lowers his gaze, having a contemplative look, before telling Sonic that there is a chance.

One thing I love about Shadow here is how he actually gives Sonic hope that there is a way to fix things. He doesn't just confront him with the harsh reality, but is also very patient with him, giving him time to process things, before explaining that there is indeed a way to fix things.

The two then dash to the Ghost Paradox Prism, with Shadow explaining how every Shattespace contains a Shard, creating a distorted version of their reality, meaning that the Shard in Ghost Hill is the real one.

''Exactly.'' *Sonic slowly reaches for the Shard* ''Don't!'' ''I wasn't going to touch it! I was just pointing at it to tell you not to touch it!''

Honestly, this little exchange had me chuckling. Once again, Shadow knows Sonic too well, just closing his eyes and moving on, not even caring about Sonic's lame excuse.

Instead, he reveals his plan to Sonic, pointing out how the Ghost Paradox Prism shows them how the other Shards need to be placed and that bringing them together would fix their reality, with Sonic interrupting him, agreeing that this plan would work.

Note Shadow's expression here as Sonic starts speaking. He is frowning and gritting his teeth. I may have had said that Shadow was probably on the fence on whether to let Sonic help him, but I think that in this moment, especially when Sonic starts talking about Nine, he has made the decision to find the Shards on his own.

''No!'' ''No?'' ''No!'' ''Why 'No'? I just said he's like super smart.'' ''He can't be trusted.'' ''What are you talking about? Of course he can! He's just like Tails! He's just a little... angsty, that's all.'' ''No, he's not Tails. He's Nine, and they're not your real friends!'' ''Dude, he's real! This is his reality! And you know what else is real? Nine's tech on my kicks and punching sticks. So back up off Nine!'' *growls*

Honestly, there is a lot to say about this dialogue. First of all, while Sonic defending Nine is very admirable, Shadow isn't wrong in saying that Nine is not Tails, nor that he is real. From a logical standpoint, Nine really is not Tails, but his own person. He is Nine, and he was created as a Shatterspace Variation of Tails' personality, the part of him that seeks emotional validation. Shadow understands that, but Sonic does have a point that Nine is indeed real, although Nine would be real in the sense that his existence is tied to the New Yoke Shatterverse.

Also, note how Shadow doesn't continue the argument, just growling in frustration when he sees that Sonic has his mind set on Nine being just like his Tails. The conversation then continues.

*sighs* ''Okay, look, what matters now is that I get the Shards. I'll bring them back here, and then we-'' ''That's not the plan.'' ''Dude, not the plan? I'm totally confused. I thought a moment ago you said-'' ''Sonic, you literally broke our world. Why would I trust you to do anything?'' ''Okay, I can see how you might think that-'' *gets knocked back by Shadow, hitting a wall* ''Ugh.'' ''Your turn is over. I'm taking the tech and I'm going after the Shards myself.'' ''No way Shadow! I know what you're capable of and that's not gonna happen! Nine and all the rest of them are real! So the only way you're taking my tech is over my dead-'' *gets attacked by Shadow into a wall, groans in pain* ''You could've at let me finish what I was going to say!''

Now, there is a lot to unpack here, especially when it comes to Shadow. He now believes that Sonic cannot be trusted with gathering the Shards, making it his personal mission to do it himself. I don't think his lack of trust in Sonic's abilities is just because of Sonic shattering the Paradox Prism, but also because of Sonic's trust in Nine, a person Shadow is clearly paranoid about.

Sonic protests, and his words ''I know what you're capable of'' hold a lot of weight when you know Shadow's backstory. Sonic is not just saying that he knows that Shadow would beat up anyone who stands in his way, but pointing reminding both himself and the audience that, if Shadow is motivated enough, he's capable of destroying the world.

He then gets interrupted by Shadow, who doesn't even talk back. This is another aspect of Shadow's character, as once he is done with all the explanations, he is all business and once he is focused on a mission, he has no time for small talk. If Sonic wants to stop him, he will have to fight.

What follows next is one of the best fights of Sonic Prime, and you can't change my mind about that. I will highlight some moments of the fight, because you can actually see that there is some strategy behind it.

''That's one! Three to go.'' *puts tech on his hand* ''Want it back? Come and get it!''

When Shadow gets punched by Sonic, he actually manages to bite the tech off his hand, which is actually genius. Not only that, but he actually is the one to start goading Sonic into fighting him. During their last fight, Shadow was mostly silent, trying to stop Sonic, but now? Now he's going all out.

As a matter of fact, you can actually see him smile several times during the fight as he baits Sonic into attacking him and dodges his moves. It is very brief, but it shows another side of Shadow - he enjoys fighting Sonic, and from what we have seen earlier in the show, Sonic also enjoys fighting Shadow.

There is a reason why Sonic has called him his biggest rival, several reasons in fact. Shadow is the only one who can keep up with Sonic, both in speed and fighting skills, and both enjoy fighting each other (whether the fate of the world is at stake or not). In short, he and Sonic aren't that different, and I will explain that in a moment, but let's just enjoy these two beating each other up.

If you know Shadow, you will know that this pose is a reference.

Drowning selfie!

Anyways, to recap what happened until now, Sonic chases Shadow to the beach, where Shadow manages to get two more pieces of his tech, before throwing him into the water (Sonic's weakness, as he cannot swim) and then grabbing the fourth piece of the tech. As Shadow swims away, Sonic manages to grab the tech on Shadow's shoes, something Shadow doesn't notice.

He is about to walk away, when Sonic shows off the tech he snagged away, much to Shadow's shock. *chuckles* Dude, you're really underestimating your rival!

Honestly, I just love how expressive Shadow gets during the fight. He is always seen with a scowl, but now we see a wider range of expressions and emotions from him, and it is glorious.

The fight continues, and we even get a scene of Shadow using Sonic as a surfing board (Sonic Riders reference?), and it is just fun following these two in their high-speed chase. Shadow eventually manages to get back the tech pieces from Sonic, putting the last one on with quite a lot of flair (I wish I could post the screenshots of that, but again, Tumblr has a limit of how many images you can put in one post).

*breathes heavily* ''One left... Come at me, bro!'' ''Nah, I'm good.'' *shows off stolen tech* ''Huh?! No!'' ''So long, Sonic! See you back home.''

I absolutely love this scene! Shadow doesn't just leave, but stays for a moment to rub it into Sonic's face that he won. It is so hilarious, but also so in character! Shadow can have fun when he wants to, although this usually involves Sonic in some form *hears the Sonadow fans screaming in glee* *stares at the rest of the audience* What, I am right, aren't I? Did you see him act like this around anyone else (in Sonic Prime, I'm not talking about the games)?

This is then followed by a chase between Sonic and Shadow, with Sonic having a hard time to control the Paradox Prism energy without the tech, and Shadow...

Look at that grin! Shadow is a smug bastard and he knows it! We also love him for that!

With Shadow escaping Ghost Hill, Sonic is left behind... until he has a moment where he remembers what Shadow told him previously about his Prism Energy and being able to create portals - proof that Sonic actually did listen to Shadow! Elated, Sonic uses it to escape into The Void, where he tackles Shadow and their fight continues, with both of them having to avoid the crystals falling around.

''Come at me, bro.''

It is repeated in monotone, but I do love that Shadow actually mocks Sonic with his own words. He is more than willing to continue this fight. However, it is cut short when they get to the New Yoke gateway and spot the Chaos Council flying into Boscage Maze with their fleet of ships. Shadow follows them, but unlike Sonic, he still cannot get through the gateways.

Man, that looks painful, and what follows is even worse, because Shadow is sent flying into the black hole below, much to Sonic's horror.

Sonic is horrified, not just because Shadow is about to die, but he also probably has a flashback to what happened in Sonic Adventure 2, when Shadow was left flying towards Earth and Sonic was unable to save him. However, this time, Sonic won't repeat the same mistake.

This time, he manages to save him (and the Sonadow fans go wild!).

''You're not dead. You're welcome! On the bright side, I'll get to hold this over you foreeeever. Oh, and I'll take my tech back.''

Now, it's Sonic's turn to be a smug bastard. Do you now understand why these two aren't too different from each other?

Shadow replies how he doesn't understand, as he thought that the tech would allow him to go through gateways... and then he realizes that it's not the tech - it's Sonic.

''The only way to fix the reality you shattered is if we... work... together.'' ''Together!'' *groans* ''Wow! Coming from you that's, well, not like you at all. Man, you must really hate having to admit that you need me.'' ''You need me!'' ''Sure, I'm big enough to admit that. But, not as much as you need me.''

Honestly, their banter is just as hilarious as it's cute. Shadow genuinely looks like he's in emotional pain when he says that he has to work together with Sonic, and Sonic is not just surprised, but also is very happy to hear that from Shadow. Shadow then points out that Sonic needs him, with Sonic getting the last word in in their banter as he leaps to get to Boscage Maze.

Sonic's grin and Shadow's little nod here say more than a thousand words. To me, it seemed that Sonic was actually seeking a bit of validation from Shadow, something to make it clear that Shadow trusts him now and that they will work closely together from now on, with Shadow nodding in agreement. It is such a small, yet powerful moment, showing us that Shadow has finally come around to rely on Sonic's help. Sure, he had to be knocked out to realize that, but what would Shadow be without his stubborness.

Sonic is now set, having Shadow as a powerful ally and watching over him.

This was an amazing showcasing of Sonic and Shadow's relationship, and my conclusion by the end of it is this:

Sonic and Shadow complement each other.

*hears cries of joy* Calm down Sonadow shippers, I'm done yet with this statement.

If you know the process of creation of Shadow's character, you have probably heard that Shadow was supposed to be a darker reflection of Sonic (his previous name was Terios, which means ''reflection of''). These two are two sides of the same coin, with Sonic representing the more carefree and freedom-seeking side, while Shadow is the more grim and focused side. Both want to protect the world, but often clash due to their differing methods.

However, while they don't work often together, when they do, they work really well together.

You have seen in this very episode that Sonic, even though he had a plan, he was very unfocused and has a hard time listening to people. So, when does he get focused? It is when Shadow knocks some sense into him, confronting him with the harsh reality of their situation, but also giving him some hope that they can fix their reality. Even in previous episodes, we saw that Sonic's friends, be it the Green Hill crew or the Shatterverse Variants, had a hard time to get him to listen, but with Shadow, it's different. He knows how to treat Sonic and what to tell him and it's beautiful to see.

Both Sonic and Shadow were right in their conversation. They need each other, because alone, they won't be able to save the Shatterverse and Ghost Hill. However, they are just in the middle stage of their developing relationship and it'll be an uphill battle for them to finally work together properly.

It is also one of the many reasons people love the Sonadow ship so much. No matter their differences, they are very much alike and it just takes them to open up a little to acknowledge that.

Also, the moment I saw this episode, I made a Sonadow AMV, with the song being Vandalize by One OK Rock, aka the song from Sonic Frontiers (click on the link provided to watch it). Seriously, you can't tell me that that isn't a Sonadow song. Enjoy!

Anyways, I'll see you in Part 4, which will (hopefully) cover the other seven episodes of Part 2 of the Sonic Prime (I refuse to call 8 episodes a Season no matter what Netflix says).

#Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 2)

#Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 4)

#Sonic the Hedgehog Analyzer (Masterlist)

[sleepingdeath-light]

realising he might be gay after falling for trans masc reader hcs ; ford

requested by ; a common simp (28/07/23)

fandom(s) ; gravity falls

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; ford pines

outline ; “Ford Pines realizing he may be gay after he falls in love with a transmasc reader?

-A Common Simp”

warning(s) ; self discovery related angst, mostly fluff!

something important to recognise about ford is that he grew up in a very different time — he was never bigoted, nothing of the sort, but he didn’t really know all that much about non cishet people, identities and communities (he was much too focused on his research to even consider dating anyone himself, let alone who anyone else dates) — so him meeting you may very well have been his first experience getting to know someone who wasn’t, well, cis or het

all of those factors (never dating/exploring his sexuality, never being exposed to non cishet people, etc) meant that when he started to fall for you, ford started to have a mild panic — he’d never felt this way about anyone else before and didn’t even realise it was ‘love’ and ‘attraction’ until stan started bullying him for his crush, and the first person he’s ever fallen for is another man which would be especially confusing for him as he’d just assumed he was straight his whole life

(which, naturally, was quite a long time to be blatantly incorrect about something — which further adds to the mess he’s gotten himself into)

so then ford does what ford does best in a time of personal crisis and locks himself away from everyone in his lab, using his research to distract him from his confusing feelings and shooing everyone away using a half dozen excuses about ‘dangerous materials’ and ‘hazardous experiments’ — which stan knows is complete bs so he tells you the truth the moment you ask (after all, you and ford had become quite good friends at this point and it was only natural you’d worry about him in a situation like this)

and that leads to the brothers getting into an argument because ford was very much so not ready for you to know about his feelings, he’s just been outed by his brother to his crush, and he’s still trying to process everything whilst a new stressor has been thrown into the mix — and you’re trying to calm him down whilst stan is rolling his eyes and telling ford to ‘thank me later’ before walking away to continue watching whatever was on the television

which leaves the two of you alone just outside of his lab — no stan to fight, no great grand niece or nephew to use as an excuse, just you and him and the silence between you as he refuses to look you in the eye and tries to find any excuse to leave (mind drawing a blank every time — for once the brilliant scientist/stubborn old man is out of his element and he just doesn’t know what to do)

what happens next depends on if you return his feelings or not.

if you don’t then he’ll accept your answer and back off (honestly he never had any intention of confessing in the first place) — withdrawing for a while to sort out his feelings so that you can go back to being close friends again

if you do then you get a grumpy, awkward, old scientist of a boyfriend who is both incredibly protective over you and so unsure of himself that even the slightest bit of physical affection or verbal reassurance can leave him looking visibly more relaxed and calm — even if he struggles to call you his ‘boyfriend’ and instead refers to you as his ‘life partner’ (he just feels it’s a bit silly for someone his age to be using that term)

you’ll catch him staring at you sometimes because he’ll end up stuck in his own head about how much he’s attracted to you and how much he loves you — don’t bring it up because he’ll withdraw again to get over himself

[xxnomadsxx]

Nomads AU! Branch’s second in command..look I haven’t finished a drawing for them yet ….BUT it’s coming

Originally I wasn’t gonna have them in the story. They were just used to be a reason for why Branch was in the feral troll village, but then I got the idea for a brother rivalry between them and Brozone and I was like “OH! I have to do that!!!!!” (I am so sorry I really wanted to make an Oc please don’t unfollow 😭)

Branch’s Second in command is basically a replacement brother? (no one sure what gender they are? So Branch just calls him his brother?with a question mark) Honestly, the relationship is like SUPER toxic, like I’m talking about his second command has accidentally tried to eat him on a couple of occasions and has gotten him hurt multiple times on accident. (They’re also a huge reason on why is kind of more paranoid and aggressive troll that he is today) also they occasionally just bite Branch, maybe on the arm, leg, or just nibbling on his hair (I promise they won’t eat Branch they just like biting stuff) the biting freaks Branch out a lot (poor guys trauma won’t ever leave 😔)

What they look like is basically a description I gave of the feral (trolls?) a while back claws, tail, sharp teeth, messy looking, slitted eyes, and pointy ears the second in command/brother? wears half a cloak that only really covers one of their sides while also having the most stitched together outfit known to anyone in the village, arms and legs basically covered in bandages and scars surprisingly their face is scar free, their hair is similar to Bruce’s with how it cascades down his back, The only difference is it’s way messier and pitch black sometimes say to Branch how it makes them look more like family (which is cute in my opinion) They have shark teeth and sort of just has this look on there face of “I will bite you if you get close to me and if you’re not close to me, I will still bite you.” Their hair has some branches and leaves in it, but still pretty clean. Sometimes they lay on the ground and just pretend to be a carpet (I mean with how much hair they have it just completely covers their body) people have walked over them on accident before.

The second in command/brother? Doesn’t really have a name. Everyone just calls them Thing and that just became its name. Thing is maybe just really bad for Branch’s mental state, but they genuinely do really care for him. I mean the whole reason Branch is here is because Thing got one look at them and said “new little brother” and sorta just kinda adopted him.

Thing is is like the most insane feral (troll ?)(whenever they do something their motives behind it is either baby brother or feed there is an in between ground of just both) Thing is the head of the militia, and surprisingly is the most trusted with the village, due to their survival instinct/ tactics, and overall mindset of protection they’re kind of dumb though (so branch doesn’t really leave him in charge a lot for long periods of time but still trusts them over anyone else)

Random facts Thing owns a mug that says best big brother? on it, and it is like his most prize possession(and only possession) They once tried to eat a troll egg. Their excuse was omelette.(the egg was fine don’t worry) they are basically the most feral feral troll, (which is honestly really hard to do so claps for him I guess) He has tried to eat Creek on multiple occasions, the only reason he stopped is because they now have some weird deal going on (Creek just feed him bits of his hair.) They constantly run on all fours like a gremlin usually having their claws out just to climb trees and over buildings around the village. The trolls and feral(trolls?) just sort of got used to them and they’re weird freaky antics (they’re surprisingly really well respected and a lot of people quite like them… they just get super scared of them) As a kid they basically saw Branch as a pet until after like a week they were like “OK this is my baby brother now.” Similar to how trolls put their babies in their hair they sometimes just put Branch in their hair (Which Branch has gotten used to he just doesn’t mind it as much anymore but still hates it.) Nonetheless, no one is quite sure how old they are or where they came from in the village they just sort of been running around for years and then one day just showed up with a troll.

Thing can speak! Most of the time they prefer to just make weird animal noises or hiss and growl. They really only speak to Branch and anyone who has a genuine concern or anything (I mean he still has to be a good second in command) and even when they do speak it’s always in this raspy sounds like it hasn’t been used in like weeks voice. Has the most broken English ever they also speak in 3rd person quite a bit. (They can’t read and just ask a bajillion questions to anyone about anything or just run their own “tests” on stuff to see how it works)

I’m going to give it to you straight, the only reason Thing exists is so I can have a brother rivalry between them and Brozone I mean Branch’s biological brothers who he loved very much as a kid vs the creature who cared and raised him for 20 years after they left (The scenarios would be amazing!!! 🤩)

Branch and Thing have a very good relationship, Branch really loves them since Thing hasn’t abandoned him like everyone else and raised him with love (never mind how toxic of a home it was and still is)

[trippygalaxy]

Out In The Woods

(Originally posted in two parts on @linksignited but I was given permission to post it here too!)

Time x gn!reader

Warning: silghtly suggestive at the end? Kinda?, Also swearing!!

Somehow the group had ran out of fire wood. You’re honestly surprised considering how many forests have been destroyed in your party’s wake. But nether the less, Time had put the duty on himself to go and gather some fuel for tonight’s fire. With an axe in one hand and his pack in another, he began to make his way towards the surrounding forest but not before you call out.

You decided to join him on his quest saying that he could use an extra set of hands for carrying the bundles of wood! Both you and Time know that he could easily bring back whatever he gathered but at least this gives you two an excuse to enjoy each others company.

It was clear to everyone that laid eyes on the two of you that you had feels for one another. (And tension but shhhhhh) So the fact of you two going alone together didn’t go unnoticed, or unspoken. As you both left the small clearing the group had set camp in, the boys teasing echoed across and met your darkened ears. Time chuckles to himself after you’ve made it to the tree line and you swear it vibrates in your chest.

—

The walk is peaceful. Bits of sunlight shine down through the trees and dance across the forest floor. As you walk, you keep an eye out for any fallen branches or dead trees—something easy to bring back to the group. While casing your surroundings, Time hums a somewhat familiar toon, one you’ve heard once or twice before. You’re more than aware of Time’s musical habit, but when he’s around the others he seems to quiet or just cease his songs. So it makes your heart flutter when your hear that low rumble from his chest, its slurred but smooth tone brings you in like a sailor falling for a sirens trap.

Daydreaming tends to end poorly while walking—especially when you’re walking in a dense forested area. And as if the goddesses wishes to prove that point, your foot catches on a uproot tree root causing you to trip and let out a startled yelp.

You brace yourself for the uneven and unforgiving ground but after a moment, it doesn’t come. Eyes still clamped shut you hear a familiar chuckle. Oh that bastard—

“Falling for me already? Haven’t even taken you on a date yet!” Time’s voice is light with teasing but you can still hear the smirk in his voice.

This…was gonna be more difficult than you thought…

---

What felt like an eternity has past—in reality it was half an hour—and Time has gotten a lot more…chatty. Since being “saved” by the old man, he has made it a point to keep you on guard. And apparently to him that meant constant teasing. Every time you’ve tried to make space between you two he’s quick to close that gap. Following you like a moth to a flame.

Being so close meant he could lean down ever so slightly and whisper into your ear. He said it was to keep from drawing attention to your area—and he doubted yelling in your ear would be pleasurable. And though your keen to believe him, its easy to notice a flicker of a smirk on his face while he spoke so lowly. That damned voice of his! His warm breath that fanned across your neck, the shiver that quickly followed and that damn husk that never left his voice!! UNFAIR YOU SAY!

Did he realize how hard it was to concentrate while he stood so close, you can feel his presence?! He had too! Oh he’s so lucky you enjoy that face of his or you’d—

Suddenly a hand is placed firmly onto your shoulder, causing you to flinch. Time had stopped you two in front of a withered tree—at first you thought you had been close to walking straight into it and Time has stopped you from doing so. A warmth spread across your face at the thought. You really did need to stop daydreaming.

“Hmm, it seems to be dead..” Time thought out loud. And at that moment, you too take a closer look at the looming tree. Time seemed to be correct, the more you inspected it the more you realize that the withered look to the bark told of its husk nature.

Your eyes light up at the thought of finding fuel for the fire! It was getting darker, the air beginning to chill and the group might start getting antsy the longer you two take. (Goddesses forbid they think you’re doing something inappropriate!)

“So we can chop it down and bring some back to camp!” It was meant to sound more of a suggestion but your excitement of potentially chopping a tree was clear. You’ve never seen—or even chopped down a tree yourself! Maybe it was silly but whatever!

You turned to face your companion only to be faced (or graced?) with the view of Time stripping off his upper body armor, breast plate and all. Stunned was a good word for how you felt at the moment—it wasn’t like you’ve haven’t seen Time in his black undershirt and tunic before! But to watch him meticulously unlace and unhook every strap of his armor…it certainly was a sight to behold. You could see how his back muscles rippled as he removes his shoulder plates, the way his waist twists as he reaches over for the harder to reach straps. You had to swallow your spit to keep yourself from drooling.

It takes you a long minute to speak up, afraid that if you make a noise you’d ruin this moment.

“Uh…Wha-Why are you undressing..?” It was barely above a whisper and you don’t intend it to come out so slurred, but damn it you were distracted by this man.

Time kept his back to you but called over his shoulder as he removed the last piece of armour. “It’s less than optimal to be wearing such heavy armour while cutting down a tree, whether it’s dead or not-“ He stops and looks over his shoulder, his good eye half lidded and peering into you. “Is that a problem?”

Not trusting your voice, you quickly shake your head. Perhaps too quickly considering the mischievous smirk that grew onto Time’s face.

The axe sat besides his newly disposed armour. You’re not sure where the party got such an item but at this point, you’re guessing theft. Nether the less, Time lifts the axe and rests it onto his broad shoulder—you think it would be best for yourself to find somewhere to sit while he works—making his way toward the tree.

So there you sat on a nearby boulder. You watched as Time chopped into the dying tree, you could hear him exhale every time he struck the trunk. It honestly surprised you how easy such a task seemed to the man—yes you are well aware of Time’s strength but you couldn’t help but find his power impressive in this (and many other) moment.

Time stops for a moment, resting the axe on the ground as he takes a step back from the damaged trunk. Concerned, your about to call out and see what’s wrong when suddenly Time removes the off white tunic he wore. And now all he wore was that tight fitting black shirt and his lower armour.

His long shirt was tight…you could see every damn detail of him. The way his chest heaved with every breath, how it clung to his stomach from sweat. His arms where fucking huge and looked as if they were to rip the fabric if flexed.

Fuck..

And he wasn’t done with the tree yet. A few hearty swings would send it toppling over, but who knows how long that would take.

This man is going to kill you…or make you do something stupid. (That something might be him)

(Apologies for any typos or weird grammar!)

[rebeccasteventaylor]

Magnus Archives 16! Spoilers below!

Oh, poor Alice. Who’s hugging her? According to the transcript it’s just Celia and there’s comforting stillness (I dunno, sounded more FABRIC RUSTLES to me)

Who did Alice and Sam see die? Did I miss that? Is that something we know? And Celia doesn’t even ask about it as anyone else would so - she knows…

Poor Alice seems so badly shaken, so in need of comfort and protection - I hope she stays safe (as every other character in Magnus who needs comfort and protection stays safe. Nothing bad ever happens to them EVER).

‘I paid my horror dues working here’ damn, Alice knows she is in a horror…and hoped the OIAR would keep her safe.

Bad joke Sam. Very bad joke.

Oh! Oh! A voice for Ink5oul!

Oh my god, Madam Electrum is the worst kind of influencer - totally up her own arse, talks in hashtags and slang she only half understands.

And no, she’s not a proper Goth.

She was DMing Ink5oul? She thought they were friends - even more?

Highgate cemetery? Bit - cliched, isn’t it? And it’s patrolled at night. I know more private cemeteries in London (i absolutely do not hang around in cemeteries after dark. Uh-uh. No way. You’ll never catch me doing something so deliciously dark and forbidden…)

‘Don’t make me break your heart’ ooh, good line…

So - Ink5oul gets ideas from bodies, like the one in Marked?

Look, Madam E, you try to dig into Ink5oul secret, tell everything online, chicken out of the real goth stuff and then mock them online and you’re surprised Ink5oul made a callout video?

What’s the tattoo over her heart? Bees stinging her on her heart over and over again - that sounds like a tattoo needle digging deep..

Sounds like Ink5oul has followers to do their dirty work for them (glad the cats are ok)

‘I just wanted to be noticed’ oh, that’s real. That’s such a cry for help.

And that was Alice listening - Alice who also laughs loud and makes jokes and does everything to draw attention to herself - wanting to be noticed. Wanting to be loved - but everyone leaves her in the end.

Lena is so furious at Gwen bringing Lady Mowbray in! ‘You introduced her to your colleagues! That poses a completely unacceptable risk to your colleagues’

Wait - Lena is worried about the others? Lena wants to protect the others? Lena is trying to make sure they’re safe? Excuse me a second while I readjust all my opinions of Lena. (Maybe that why she couldn’t murder Klaus - not because she was incompetent but because she didn’t want to)

Oh, Gwen. Why didn’t you realise Lady Mowbray is dangerous? I’m rooting for you Gwen, but honestly. This is the kind of behaviour I would expect from the Bouchards of Cheshire - the kind of aristocracy who say ‘Bertie’s a lovely chap, no-one kinder, once beat his valet to death with a shoe but you can’t hold that against him, he’s a sweetie really’

I mean, Gwen is right. Lena is keeping secrets and not training her but now I wonder if she was hoping Gwen could fail so she had a reason not to send her to the Externals - that she was trying to protect Gwen and and all the others?

Ooh, I have a new theory - I already thought Alice was trying to protect everyone and she is trying very hard not to know the horrors. What if Lena is also trying to protect everyone by being the only one who knows all the horrors?

I need more Lena. Right now.

I need someone to love and protect Alice.

Don’t let me down, Gwen