#honestly the whole damn song
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no context spoilers
thank you for the tag @digital-chance!
rules: share something (text, photo, song lyric) that could be a spoiler for a wip but without context it’s not
I combed through for a bit of dialog from my unnamed Nuka-World fic but didn't find anything good (which means I need more foreshadowing honestly) but it also made me realize just how much this song thematically describes it by the end:
'Love Love Love' by the Mountain Goats
Raskolnikov felt sick, but he couldn't say why When he saw his face reflected in his victim's twinkling eye Some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for fun But the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one
Gentle tags passed on to @leebrontide @elean0rarose and @eldritch-flower
#tag game#honestly the whole damn song#John Darnielle is a lyrical genius#next-level daddy issues#that which is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil#writeblr#ntzsche misc
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this OPENING man. THIS OPENING. GOES SO INCREDIBLY HARD. FOR NO REASON. it should be illegal to have a song this good in a funny haha silly little comedy anime. I'm going crazy why is it so good. kaidou why r u going so hard on the vocals for NO!! REASON !!!
the fact that it's kaidou singing keeps me up at night. you go lil chuuni boy. eat that up like a full course meal and leave no crumbs not even the plate
#saiki kusuo no ψ nan#saiki k#saiki kusou no psi nan#saiki no psi nan#saikik#saiki kusuo no psi nan#kaidou shun#nendou riki#riki nendou#shun kaidou#saiki kusuo#kusuo saiki#GOES SO HARD#I LOVE THIS OP SO MUXH#its both so incredibly funny snd perfectly in character how kaidou sings more than the damn protag#i love this song bc saiki js has a little yap session in the middle of it#ljke you go guy! go yap!#and then kaidou js comes in goes crazy on the vocals refuses to elaborate#the animation is oddly good too i think even the animators give kaidou special treatment#bc this whole thing is kaidou's fantasy#props to kaidou's va here . absolutely cracked#THE FULL VERSION. SHAKES YOU THE FULL VERSION#If i could share it without the chance of getting sniped i would#but honestly i'm scared out of my mind that i'd get striked lol#pls dont copyright strike me for this#HOLY BANGER!#kaidou ATE that up i'm not taking any other opinions
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“because he never accepts that it's never been about righteousness--it's about repentance.” except javert killing himself IS repentance.
well, it’s like 12 different things, because bro had gone days without sleeping and very little food and water and he already had low self-worth and kept asking the amis to kill him and just assumed he was going to die AND THEN valjean upended his understanding of the world and morality. he was really going through it & there are a lot of overlapping reasons for why he jumps into the seine.
but javert is like Number One Most Responsible guy in the whole story. taking responsibility is his Thing (forever bitter the musical doesn’t include the punish me monsieur le maire scene). how else, in his derailment, could he atone for his conceived misdeeds other than by handing in his resignation to god? in the brick he had already left a note urging his superiors to treat convicts at toulon better, which is another step in his repentance (and another crime the musical commits by not including it). jumping into the seine was another step.
honestly a lot of ppl who like the book think the musical was dead wrong to exclude him from the big heaven group sing, because it COMPLETELY undermines the themes of forgiveness and compassion threaded throughout les mis. like the musical was simply wrong lol.
This is helpful context! I am still finishing the brick, although I have fully read the abridged version, and that detail about the letter wasn't included, so I didn't know that occurred! (And thank you for the message--this is a long response but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!)
I agree that Javert is certainly deeply distraught and remorseful; like you mentioned, his worldview is literally falling apart, and his actions reflect his mental state. But his death isn't really repentance--in the sense that it's not what God would have wanted. To me it reads like a Judas situation: a desperate realization of a huge mistake, and doing the only thing you think can make it right, namely, ending it all. That's the just punishment for someone so wrong, isn't it?
But true repentance, meaning the repentance that the Lord desires, is about changing your ways, not "paying a price." Had Javert really understood the beauty of Valjean's mercy (an image of Christ's, just as the bishop's undeserved mercy was to Valjean himself), rather than killing himself, he would have lived to also become "an honest man"--in heart. One who could forgive and understand forgiveness, for himself as well as others. One who could recognize that he is not The Law, that he can fall, but that he can also be "brought to the light." One who could accept that men like Valjean, and men like himself, CAN change, and be changed.
It's tragic to me because so much of "Stars," and his character in the book as well as the musical, is about wanting to be righteous, to rise above his birth and the sinfulness he associates it with. It's about wanting to please the Lord by his actions. But in his end, he shows he never understood what God really wanted from him, and that's where my original phrase comes in: not righteousness, but repentance. To live, and face the man you were, knowing it's no longer the man you are. That it's never been about what you've done or can do, but about what's been done for you. That's the Gospel that he could never fully accept.
To use another example you mentioned, that misunderstanding drives why he asks the Mayor (Valjean) to punish him--in his worldview, mercy is unjust, or at the very least, unfair. Evil must be punished; "those who fall like Lucifer fell" receive "the sword." But "as it is written," God "desires mercy, not sacrifice" (Matthew 9:13). God would have wanted Javert to live, and Javert couldn't see that, and that's why it's devastating to me. In his misunderstanding of the heart of God, he misses what would have set him free from the chains of sin he's always been trying to escape.
That's why he's contrasted with Valjean, who (though he carries guilt about his past till the end of his life) is eventually able to face it and confess what he had done to those he loves. He knew there was mercy to be found, if only it was asked for. Javert was too blinded by pride and shame to realize it, and so, while broken, he never was able to truly repent.
For that, you must go on.
#i have a lot more thoughts on this specifically as it relates to pride as javert's fatal flaw. that's what kept him from grasping it all#because fundamentally he believes what he does is what sets him apart as righteous. that's the symbolism of the brand: your deeds define you#so if it's actually been about mercy all along then he has been needlessly cruel when he thought it was righteousness#and all of his actions that he thought made him better have been for nothing. he's carried shame for nothing. been a slave for nothing#les miserables#les mis#inspector javert#responses aka the ramblings of my brain#my meta posts#meta#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#no actually i'm still not done just needed to interrupt for the search tags etc.#shame is only possible where pride is present#that's my hot take. if javert had been truly totally humble he would not have killed himself. he would have accepted the gift of life#which is the same gift we are given in christ!! and that's honestly why it isn't repentance because the whole thing is a christian allegory#his suicide shows that he still regards himself as judge. he determines the punishment#and in his song the lyrics are full of things like 'damned if i'll live in the debt of a thief' 'i'll spit his pity right back in his face'#he is too prideful to accept the gift that christ has given: salvation UTTERLY unearned and undeserved. through grace alone#narratively he represents the Law (old covenant) in christianity and those who still choose to live under it#romans 3:20 says 'therefore by the deeds of the law shall no flesh be justified in His sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin'#but valjean represents one saved by the new covenant. who can see that his 'righteousness is as filthy rags' (isaiah 64:6) and is redeemed#and that is why ultimately from a narrative perspective valjean has salvation and javert does not#not that javert did not see his wrongdoing but that he could not look past his own 'righteousness'#anyway this was all very christian-info-dump but the book is too so i feel it was justified 😂 but that's my interpretation#would love to hear more thoughts if you have them!! i truly hope this didn't come off as combative bc i mean it super genuinely!#kay has a party in the tags#kay is a musical theater nerd#kay is a classical literature nerd
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me? making a silly animatic thing from the silly au me and my friend made? more likely than you think. (there is a second chunk i did but idk if i wanna post that one too or not)
#cookie run#shadow milk cookie#beast cookies#creme university au#if by some miracle i finish this whole thing i'll post it but honestly we'll see about that#idk love to like actually clean it up and make it look nice but ive never done that#granted the song isnt very long so it wouldn't be too hard but omg#anyway uh the dead come talking is a really good song y'all should check out#i found it 4 days ago and it has been an obsession since thus this exists#the first verse is shadow milk and the second is pure vanilla#the second part hurts me personally like i drew some of it and was like damn#i really did just draw a dead shadow milk didn't i oops#anyway shadowvanilla is the brain rot rn i guess
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Nice healthy obsession you got there (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#SU#Scribbles for maximum speed and minimum prettiness lol#How! many! layers! deep! can I go!!#I have been well-out from Steven Universe for a heck-while now - stopped around Off-Colors I think? I haven't been back since 2017ish y'see#Something-something pick up Vargas drop off Steven Universe (there was a few months of crossover but it's a whole thing w/e w/e)#Anyway! Lol#It was lurking dormant for This Moment is what I'm getting at#Just needed to stew on SCII for five years and then all the feelings'd come up lol#It is still so funny to me that I drew Max and Dex before ZEX and DAX - whenever things come full circle like this it tickles me#I've already written up a Whole Thing about my alien-faves so that'll be a thing soon enough lol#For now! Silliness! I mean - more silliness lol#Those /are/ ZEX and DAX but?? I guess?? with the body-snatched version but they'd be gems?? I don't know either lol#I put in the caption that DAX would be a pearl but honestly he feels like he'd be an opal or something#Can't say labradorite that's too indulgent but he'd be so pretty! Those hidden depths and flecks of green <3#I feel like ZEX would be something clear and beautiful :) So - not a green quartz lol but something pretty and important!#I dunno I've forgotten many many things about SU gem types haha#Also silly how I put ZEX in the Pearl position - he just Seems It y'know ♪#I mean Max would too lol#But no DAX is the obvious Pearl here - her songs were always my favourite <3 Discounting that she was always my favourite ahem lol#I have Always Always loved It's Over Isn't It <3 A full mournful song for her ugh it's so gorgeous ♥#I've been trying to learn the Italian version because it is So pretty <3#Thank goodness the comments weren't disabled under the Italian upload so someone was able to post the lyrics#So nice to be able to see them! And the words genuinely flow so beautifully they're really fun to sing ♫
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The third verse in Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats is so unfairly satisfying-
Like, Come on!
"With book and with bell!"
"Were you Whittington's friend~"
"The Pied Piper's assistant."
"WERE YOU THERE WHEN THE PHAROAHS COMMISSIONED THE SPHINX??????"
"If you were, and you are, you're a Jellicle Cat."
Dead. Simply dead.
#like the whole verse is just fricking *chef's kiss all around*#it gets me so pumped too like damn#“are you keeeeen to be seeeeen-” love it#honestly jellicle songs for jellicle cats is probs my favourite song from CATS ngl#cats the musical#cats 1998#jellicle songs for jellicle cats#my post
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5MINNUST & Puuluup just won Eesti Laul! I’m so hyped about this result, it was exactly what I wanted! Credit to Ollie, and I would really love to see him at Eurovision one day, but 5minnust were just on another level tonight. The perfect level of chaos and excitement with a super catchy song – I really hope that this connects with the general audience at Eurovision the way it seems to have with the fandom. They definitely could tweak the staging to give it a little more polish for the big stage, but I hope they keep the overall energy and honestly choreography from this performance. I’m so glad we’ll get to see them again in May!
#eurovision#esc2024#nf winner#estonia#how to explain to my friends that one of my favourite entries this year is (not) about drugs#honestly the whole show tonight (at least the majority that I saw while dipping in and out of other nfs) was great#not quite enough for me to forgive them their weird autoqualifier system but almost#I enjoyed the interval acts that I saw#especially the guitar medley of eurovision songs - that was practically made for me#I was really happy with the superfinalists as well#after the show those were the exact three I'd have picked#I did really enjoy Brother Apollo as well in the end#though after spending so long hoping that they weren't going to take the song too seriously#I ended up feeling they could stand to take it a slight bit more seriously honestly#no I did enjoy it but damn was not expecting the performance to go that direction#I'm glad they had fun with it at least#but what is it with Finns being unable to keep their trousers on this year
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this new sufjan album is going to fully rearrange my brain chemistry I can already feel it
#noticed the new single this morning but saved it for later cuz i didnt want to risk the psychic damage of listening to a track called-#'will anybody ever love me' right before a job interview 💀#but damn its good. going to the local early listening party next week hehe#also just discovered film school everyone say thank u last.fm for actually generating good music recs 😳😳😳😳#the recs i get suggested based off my listening to so much bdrmm are always >>>>>>>#bdrmm were INSANELY good live. genuinely think a lot of ppl who act disdainful of shoegaze would change their minds if they went to a gig#the richness and texture of the sound cant be summed up in an audio recording u have to be there and feel ur whole body thrum with it#its like floating in a wall of sound.. but the spotify versions sound soooo tame. not that i dont like them but its not the same#god im so fucking excited for slowdive. only a month and a half to go!!!!!!#listened to the new mitski album as well but honestly its not doing much for me rn#but usually when she releases new stuff it takes a little while to grow on me. i need to at least read the lyrics first..#I think esp w folk inspired artists u have to let the song approach u at the right time. ive def had eras when diff mitski albums appealed#but in my heart im a retired from sad girlie. actually at the risk of sounding like a fake fan ive never been able to get into puberty 2#or be the cowboy. i like a couple tracks but thematically theyve never spoken to me#makeout creek/laurel hell are in the middle theres a couple on them that have me by the throat. lush is my 2nd fave i think#but yeah i dont think ill ever be able to extricate myself emotionally from retired from sad that was my first breakup album!!!!#.diaries#anyway back 2 translation state..
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Thank you @seouldriftmp3 and @schnaf for the songs on repeat tags<3 you have both tagged me in different numbers of songs on repeat, so I'm just going to go with 10 (because that's the max audios I can have) and you guys should do it again if yours have changed since you last did it lmao
Bam - Bandage
2. Crybaby - Nanna
3. Dancer - LÉON
4. on the street (with J. Cole) - Jhope
5. Interlude: Wings - BTS
6. Cicak - CHS
7. Numb Bears - Of Monsters and Men
8. Festival - Herd
9. Difference in mood - Youthlim
10. Godzilla - Nanna
Tagging @jiminlikecrazy @seraphjimin @kimchokejin @clutterbugs @yearningsea @minieggukie @palpalopaloma @mindofnmn @joon-rkive @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered @bobagukks
#Spotify#damn someones excited about the nanna album👀#its me#im excited for her album#and im excited that i get to see her live at the end of july#tag game#but you guys should honestly listen to her because shes perfection#and listen to that bandage song#im obsessed#also i made myself sad when i went so far back in my mentions that i made it to 2022 wrapped tags that i didn't get to do#bc i was too busy feeling sorry for myself#so this might be the last one of the night#if i stop being a little bitch i might do some more and maybe even the 2022 wrapped ones#bc i shouldn't throw away a whole year just because it ended in possibly the worst way it could have
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jfc forever winter by taylor swift KILLS ME it IS james in dead to me
All this time I didn't know You were breakin' down I'd fall to pieces on the floor If you weren't around Too young to know it gets better I'll be summer sun for you forever Forever winter if you go
#I'LL BE SUMMER SUN FOR YOU FOREVER#STAB ME IN THE GOD DAMN CHEST#IM NOT CRYIN YOU ARE CRYIN#dead to me#james potter#jily#(seriously this whole song i am in physical pain right now)#honestly just james coded in general
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You should listen to Antimai. Antimai is good.
#it's classic dear hunter prog rock but with a lot of funk rhythms and horns#which. extremely good#and it's sci fi!!#a whole album of sci fi dystopia worldbuilding. and dystopia in the good social commentary way#oh it's so tasty. I can't believe I've been ignoring this album for a full two years just because it was preceded by something kinda mid#I just assumed the whole thing would sound like indigo child. I'm such a fool#the first two songs and the middle class are all REALLY good#and the fourth ring was bitingly fun#and the ANGER in the first half of luxury. damn#I don't post about the dear hunter much because I'm honestly mostly just into the acts for the music?#like I enjoy the concept album element but I'm not deep into the lore and analysis#but oooh man I'm so excited. this is such a treat#invasion of the frogs
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And now I'm dead in the water
I'm afraid it's too late to change
It's like I've held up a gun to everyone that I love
Now this pain won't go away
You're the pin, I'm the hand grenade
How can words of hope hold weight
When I can't believe when I tell them to myself?
I can't feel heart through the violence
A violence that's self inflicted
Living in lies, what I am is never good enough
Every time I cry, it's just the surface
There's no hope if I give them nothing
#tunes#fit for a king#metalcore#that metalcore band from Tyler Texas ❤️#Spotify#just some good old fashioned metalcore#honestly coulda quoted the whole damn song#it’s so good
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The only problem with these 1990/1991 Big Country concerts that I'm watching is that their drummer in 1990-mid 1991 literally cannot play a military-esque drum roll if it killed him, which is a ginormous problem for Big Country considering at least two of their biggest fucking hits features that prominently so then "In a Big Country" as a primary example doesn't sound nearly as good and anthemic as it normally does. SURELY IT MAKES SENSE WHY THAT'S A PROBLEM. Because if they don't play those songs, the audience will eat the band, but then the song doesn't sound as good and, what, the band just has to pray that the audience doesn't notice?! Okay. Yeah, sure. Whatever.
Although on one hand I could see that as, like, oh man, Mark really fucked them for any other drummers...he accidentally (or maybe not; I don't know his personal agenda) made sure that pretty much no other drummers would fit for the band (also considering his maximalist approach to drumming, LOL)...but on the other hand I like that classic drum roll about so many Big Country songs, so am I allowed to complain when another drummer can't imitate Mark Brzezicki perfectly?
#IDK but Pat sucked for them. :(#Chris from their late 1991 tour worked really well for them though. although he's not Mark but honestly ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#I'm ssssssssssssssscaaaaaaaaaaaaaaared to hear 'The Buffalo Skinners' though :((((((((((((((#I don't know who Simon Phillips is and I know I can take some comfort in knowing that Mark was the only drummer who played#all of those songs (or however many) live then but still...I find liking live versions of songs better than the studio versions annoying#because unless the live version was recorded and released officially it's a bitch to obtain it so I can choose to listen to it#over the studio version! so I want to at LEAST like the studio version so I can appreciate the live versions more#(and I say this as I realize tonight that I actually don't hate ''River of Hope'' bUT ONLY IF IT'S LIVE.#I would rather chew glass than listen to the studio version. SO YEAH; I'M ANNOYED THAT I EVEN LIKE THE LIVE VERSION)#anyway I'm still thinking about that post 'Mark's ''a whole military drummer contingent in one man''' because Mark really#laughed all the way to the god damn bank with that didn't he. he did! he did.#also notice how I assumed I won't like the drumming on 'The Buffalo Skinners'? and I just automatically assume Mark will save it.#I should calm down I think and maybe give another BC album a chance. ...when I'm less scared though. because I still. scared
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Oh we're giving ferry songs now?
OOH WAIT COOL the pv holy shit
FUKASE'S LOWER RANGE 🙌🙌🙌
#ask#and his jpn vb used but for english... i actually really do like the sound of it woahwoah#i hate to say this but i honestly am very iffy abt fukase's english vb 😔😭 yeah i know booo BUT LIKE??? IDK its harder to get it to sound#as good as his jpn vbs imo. that could be tied to the whole issue of english vbs in general sounding different compared to jpn ones but als#maybe im just extremelyyyyy picky w/ how i like hearing him tuned. idk. 😭 i think i once said(?) he's good for beginners and?#lowkey i take it back thats kind of a lie. he's got his own set of issues but then again every voca does so just work w/ the ones u like ma#anyways i loveee voca pvs wows me every time they are so fun. i grew up watching so many pvs so thats been one major thing that sticks w/ m#they take so long to make but damn if end results are fun and stunning and just GODD!!! ITS FUN TO SEE A STORY'S SONG IN VID FORMAT!!!
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# IMGONNAGETYOUBACK
pairing: paige bueckers x ex-gf/iowa!reader
word count: 4880
warnings: suggestive content, arguing
summary: your "rivalry" with a certain uconn blonde has its speculation, but no one knows what happened behind the scenes.
⭑ from lani: why is every single thing ive posted based off of a song..anyways..hope yall enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it
masterlist !
AS YOU SLIP into your black jersey, adrenaline courses through your veins. you and your teammates have successfully carried iowa to the final four of march madness. you've all come this far and refuse to break the streak.
but similar to your previous game against lsu, there's a lot of speculation surrounding the tension on the court with uconn. people are going crazy over the paige bueckers and caitlin clark face-off, but they’re going even crazier over your own heated interactions with the blonde.
the internet has decided to constantly pit you two against each other after observing your intense taunting and confrontations in previous years. they believe that it’s merely competitive tendencies but they have no idea where it all actually stems from.
you haven’t always been a hawkeye. for your first two years of college, you were a husky through and through. the public knows this, of course, which adds to the stigma around your name. but after a season-ending injury, you decided you needed a change of pace and environment. it was nothing personal against your teammates, coach, or school in general, you just felt like uconn wasn't where you were supposed to be.
so after you were in the transfer portal, everyone went ballistic. there was a plethora of reactions - some encouraging and supportive, others targeted and calling you a "traitor."
that's what the public is aware of. but they have yet to discover the deeper scars.
"you gonna lock in, y/n?" one of your teammates asks from behind you. turning around, you are met with caitlin, the other hawkeye under extremely close observation tonight.
"i gotchu," you smirk, "what about you? you gonna carry the team again?”
"you already know," she says, mirroring your expression. the two of you have gotten very close over the past couple years, which honestly makes the whole paige situation worse as people make comments like "caitlin and y/n versus paige is crazy" or "ready for this 2v1 game tonight!” they piss all three of you off but really just add to the hype and buildup of the game.
soon enough, your coach is ushering all the girls out of the locker room and onto the court. screams and cheers fill your ears as the crowd observes your entrance. and damn, if your ego wasn't high before, it definitely was now.
the two sides of the arena were filled, one side a sea of navy and white, the other a myriad of gold and black. music blasts from the speakers and makes the walls shake with energy. as you make your way over to the bench, you raise your arms repeatedly to get the crowd going. gaining an immediate reaction, you smile big and put your hand to your ear to play into the praise.
your teammates shake their heads at your antics. they know how competitive you can get. you tend to interact with the crowd and cameras a lot, but no one (especially fans at home) complains.
the crowd before you quiets down for a split second as you focus back onto what your coaches are saying in the huddle. suddenly you hear echoes of booing and other taunts as everyone turns around to see the uconn girls run out excitedly. the last one to come out is none other than paige bueckers, blonde hair in her signature braids and ponytail immediately catching your eye.
part of the reason people always compare you to her is because of how similar you are. your game style, skill set, and energy has always resembled the husky's, but you never understood it until she does the exact same hand motions you did but to the uconn supporters.
as she turns away from the crowd, her eyes dart around to find yours, doing so in a matter of seconds. her icy blue eyes send a chill down your spine as she holds intense contact. fuck. she knows exactly what she's doing.
you can tell from the few seconds your eyes are glued to hers that she still wants you. you just know. there's too much emotion behind the stare, saying everything that needs to be said and more.
coach bluder gives the run-down on defensive assignments quickly and explains some of the plays. somehow, by some force of nature, you're stuck guarding the one person you were conflicted with: number five, paige bueckers.
your teammates all turn to you as soon as the words leave your coach's mouth. they are well aware of your special history with the blonde as well as your complicated relationship now.
"you got that, y/n?" caitlin asks you.
"yeah," you shrug, "you don't have to worry about me. i'm good." and you meant it. you were sick of being compared to paige all the time and were ready to show people who's better.
did you still care for the girl? of course; you always have and always will. but will you let that get in the way of your winning streak? hell no.
the referee beckons each team to the center of the court for the tip-off. hannah sets herself up for the jump ball, standing across from aaliyah edwards on uconn's side.
you confidently walk over to where paige is standing. your eyes meet hers once again as you wordlessly dap her up, offering a civil front. you already know you'll being seeing the clip on your feed a lot tomorrow morning.
despite the cordial interaction, your mind is running wild at the feel of paige's long fingers brushing against yours. you missed her like crazy, but were also upset with her for multiple different reasons. right now you were enemies, opponents, rivals. but in a few hours after the game? well, you would have to wait and see.
the ref throws the ball in the air and aaliyah manages to get her fingers on the ball first to swat in her teammates' directions. uconn almost immediately turns it over due to paige missing kk's pass as the ball goes out of bounds. it's just too easy.
------
the buzzer sounds loudly, signaling the end of the second quarter and halftime. you and your teammates jog to the locker room, sweaty and out of breath. the score was currently 32-26 with uconn in the lead.
you had to admit, that definitely wasn't your team's best first half but you were ready to come back twice as hard.
"c'mon guys," lisa yells, "we gotta seriously up our game right now and fight against their defense. keep giving them as many fouls as possible.
"caitlin, we're gonna try to give you more threes, so everyone else, if caitlin has the ball, set those screens, got it?"
you all nod wordlessly as you pay attention to her words. your coach turns to you, looking you directly in the eye, her stare deadly.
"y/n, you gotta push bueckers more, don't direct all your focus on getting cait the ball. really use that energy that i know you have."
"yeah i hear you," you pant as you wipe your forehead with a towel.
one of the coaching assistants hands you a waterbottle, so you immediately squeeze the ice cold water into your mouth without putting the nozzle on your lips. it's a habit that you have whenever you're in a rush or busy thinking about something.
"and one more thing, y/n," you hear your coach call you before you make your way back on the court, "please, for the love of god, leave your emotions out of it tonight."
the words shoot a prick in your chest, not expecting such a direct statement. nonetheless, you nod firmly, agreeing with her as you jog to where your team is lingering.
you may or may not have had a few...touchy altercations with a certain number five.
like in the middle of the first quarter...
------
"bueckers with the lay-up, does she get it? no! it is rebounded by l/n!"
your hands grasp the ball tightly under the net but before you can make your way over to the opposite side of the court, another set of hands on the ball stops you.
you look up to see paige also grabbing the ball as it sits in your hands, starting to fight to get it in her possession. with the two of you pulling back and forth, the refs whistle blows to put an end to the quarrel.
however, you two continue to push until one of your teammates wraps their arms around you to pull you off. walking away, you laugh, energized by the interaction. you put your hands up in surrender as kate releases you from her grip.
you turn your head back around to see that paige has also been forcefully pulled away by one of her own teammates with a similar expression on her face, clearly as equally as fired up as you.
------
and the middle of the second quarter...
------
"THREEEEEEE! Y/N L/N!"
you flex your arms and let out a proud yell. it's your fourth score of the night and you feel amazing. your teammates clamor over to you, patting you on your back and bumping you with their chests.
paige failed to block your attempt, putting her arms up and jumping but not being able to reach the ball before it falls in the net.
seeing her tough front falter for a second, you point a finger to her just to spice up the game a little more and get the crowd really going. she shakes her head and chuckles darkly, waving you off with a hand.
"did you see that? bueckers and l/n back at it again with their supposed rivalry, what a dynamic duo, am i right?"
------
time flies rapidly as the clock runs down. it's the last quarter of the game and tensions are at an all time high. with less than ten seconds left, iowa has the lead 71-69. it's way too close for comfort.
everyone's on edge. the announcers narrating the game for folks at home, coaches, benched teammates, the audience on either side of the court.
when uconn forces a turnover, you stand out of bounds waiting to pass the ball in. 1.1 on the clock. paige stands with her back to you. no one could've predicted your next move.
you take advantage of her guard let down and quickly bounce the ball off of her, chopping the time in half as she fails to catch it in time and lets it out of bounds once again.
you feel a second of remorse once you catch the defeated look on her face. but you couldn't let the game slip out of your hands that easily. not without a fight.
less than one second on the clock, there's no way for uconn to win. caitlin passes the ball to gabbie who simply throws it high in the air to run down the clock.
the buzzer sounds as you and your teammates run into a group hug, screaming and cheering. you have a small celebration before going to the handshake line. as you pass and commend the uconn coaches and players, you allow your fingers to linger on paige's for a second longer than others.
when she meets your eyes there’s a look of hurt apparent in them, yours filled with guilt. you know how important that game was to her, to her entire collegiate career. but this game was also important to you, she had to know that.
------
your teammates insisted on celebrating at a nearby bar and restaurant, feeling high off the recent victory.
you were obviously down to go with them, but decided to take a little extra time in the locker room showers just to get some peace and quiet to yourself. you tell the girls that you'll catch up in your own car.
so now you're changing into a fresh set of clothes in a dim, empty locker room. some people might find the setting eerie but you enjoy the stillness of it all, especially after the day you've had.
you’re wearing a basic white crop top and a muted purple skirt, a thick black leather jacket draped over your shoulders to protect yourself from the cold evening air. as you grab your backpack and make your way out to the gym’s parking lot, you spot a familiar figure wandering around aimlessly.
of fucking course i'm left here with her, you think.
you let out an irritated sigh as you continue to rub a small towel against your head to dry your hair.
the sound of your shoes against the pavement catches paige's attention and causes her to turn around. when she observes your relaxed, freshly showered figure, her chest tightens. whether it's from hatred or attraction, she doesn't know.
"hey," she yells to you, stalking over.
you look up to her direction and laugh, "you look like a lost puppy, bueckers."
"damn," she says, "first you decide to beat me and now you're insulting me and calling me by my last name? way to kick me when i'm down, y/n.”
you try not to display how flustered you feel when she says your name like that, “i didn't decide to beat you, i just did. deal with it."
"attitude much? i'm just tryna be civil, ma, no need for the hostility."
that fucking nickname.
"did you need something from me? i'm just tryna meet up with the team so spit it out."
"you heading to the bar?"
"yes," you say skeptically, "how the hell do you know that?"
"i'm heading there too, dumbass," she replies.
"what the hell are you talking about?"
"your team invited mine to hangout," of course they did, "is that a problem?"
"might be," you respond shortly, "so why are you here if the rest of your team is at the bar?"
"i could ask you the same question, l/n," she mocks the way you say her last name.
"i asked you first."
"eager to hear me talk i see." before you can reject the idea she interrupts you, “it’s okay, i know how much you love my voice."
she's not wrong, of course, but you would never admit it to her face. you ignore the question with a roll of your eyes.
"i took a longer shower than everyone else,” you shrug, “told 'em i'll just meet them there. your turn."
she laughs nervously before answering, “uh, i was actually supposed to get a ride from azzi but i guess she forgot," she says as she looks around the empty parking lot. now it's your turn to tease her.
"that's crazy," you laugh and shake your head, "your own friends don't even wanna be around you."
"man, shut up," she scoffs.
there's a beat of silence before you begin to walk to your car, getting the hint that the conversation was over.
you hear paige groan behind you before asking, "yo..do you think you could give me a ride?"
the nerve.
"excuse me?" you say incredulously as you unlock your car door and slip into the driver's seat. the blonde jogs up to your car, resting an arm on the frame of your door. you become hyper aware of how close you are, and how good she looks.
for the first time since you started talking to her, you take in her appearance. she's wearing a light blue cropped tank top, almost like a sports bra, and dark gray distressed jeans. there's a white uconn hoodie in her hands.
the amount of skin exposed makes your body heat up. the way her arms are flexed against your car makes you think back to the many times they've been flexed underneath your weight.
“can i. get. a ride.” she staggers out, like it’s painful to ask you for a favor. you take advantage of her position immediately.
“i dunno, can you?” you smirk.
“i fucking hate you, do you know that?”
“i dunno, do i?”
“dude.”
you throw your head forward in a laugh, shoulders shaking at her irritation.
“you’re so easy to piss off, i love it.”
“yeah well there’s a lot of other things about me that i know you love but we don’t have to talk about that.”
“do you want a ride or not?” you deadpan, “’cause if you’re gonna act like this all night i don’t want you at the bar, bro.”
“‘bro’? that’s what we’ve come to? that’s even worse than just bueckers, y/n.”
“just shut up and get in the car.”
“yes ma’am,” she says with a mock salute as she closes your door and jogs around the front of the car to the passenger seat.
as you turn on the engine, paige settles into the spot next to you and immediately reaches for the aux cord .
“um,” you pause, “what are you doing?”
“blessing you with my awesome music taste? what do you think i’m doing?”
“absolutely not,” you say, “my car, my rules.”
“um, no. the ‘rule’ is that the passenger chooses the playlist while the driver sets up the queue. we’ve been over this.”
“okay but,” you start carefully, “that was when we were together.”
silence.
“so do you want the ‘late night drives’ playlist or the ‘oldies but goodies’ playlist?”
“what?”
“you heard me.”
she brushes over your comment painfully fast. you had no idea why. you refuse to leave it at that.
“just put on our playlist."
more silence. you gotta be kidding me.
“i don’t-“
“don’t even try, paige, i know you still have it.”
“but-“
“don’t fight me on this. all i want is to celebrate with my team and get a drink so can you please hurry up so we can go?”
“shit,” you hear her say under her breath, “yeah.” she pushes her hips forward as she gets comfortable in the seat.
your eyebrows furrow at the reaction. this girl is so fucking complicated. you weren’t sure if you wanted to curse her out or take her right there.
———
“y/n!! you made it!” jada squeals as you walk into the bar, “and…paige? wait. are you two back together??”
“hell no.”
“definitely not.”
you and paige turn to each other.
“oookayy..” jada trails as she pulls you away from the blonde in the direction of where your team was sat.
the girls cheer your name as you take a seat next to caitlin. you can tell they’ve already had at least two drinks each.
“hey,” caitlin says with a warm smile, “you got some catching up to do. let’s go get you a drink.”
she ushers you to the bar where you are able to sit and observe the environment. the venue is fairly dark, the ceiling lights dimmed to a warm hue with a few candles on each table. the stools at the bar were a cold metal that gave you goosebumps. all the table booths have dark brown leather couches on one side and wooden chairs with intricate designs on the other.
“so,” caitlin starts after she’s ordered you a drink, lord knows what it was, “i saw you and paige walk in together. that mean anything?”
“please,” you scoff, “i’m done with her, cait, like seriously.” she stays silent, waiting for you to continue, “i mean, she’s so annoying and cocky and confusing, it’s exhausting - i hate her.”
“you sure about that?”
“yes.”
“then why do you still put up with her?”
“what do you mean?”
“i mean,” she says as the bartender delivers two of the same drink, one for you and one presumably for herself, “just stop talking to her. ignore her.”
you pause to think. “but she’s always the one starting these dumbass petty fights.”
“then don’t answer her?”
“i have to.”
“and why is that?” she eggs you on, sipping on her drink.
“because,” you sigh, “i can’t let her win.”
“or,” caitlin smirks as the two of you get up to head back to your table, “you still like being around her.”
“as if.”
“okay. tell me this then - why do you two still smile at each other like nothing has changed?”
“we almost never see them, cait.”
“no, i know but…i saw the way you looked at her today. you still like her, y/n.”
you two have returned to your seats with the rest of the team. you find yourself looking for a particular blonde (again) across the room. the uconn girls were sitting at a similar table to the one you were currently at, just on the other side of the bar.
to your relief, caitlin drops the conversation to engage in one with kate about the game. you quietly sip on your drink as you continue to stare at paige. she’s smiling - laughing - with azzi and aaliyah. you missed them. you missed her. you didn’t acknowledge it until now, until caitlin knocked some sense into you. you did enjoy being around her, mainly because it reminded you of how it was before you transferred to iowa. even though your conversations consist of constant jabs and insults, it was better than radio silence.
but you also hated it. you hated how you couldn’t be with her like you used to. you hated how you left. you hated how she treated you when you left. you hated how she acted like nothing happened. that’s why you have to win every time you’re up against her - literally and figuratively.
paige scored four three-pointers in a game? you score five. paige got six rebounds? you got seven. paige had eight assists? you had nine. it wasn’t just for yourself, it was for the media. with how they constantly have a magnifying glass on your life, you can’t jeopardize your career. so you have to be better than her.
your jaw clenches at the thought of the pressure, the expectation. you down the rest of your way too light cocktail and make your way back to the bar for a stronger drink.
“hey,” you say to the bartender, “can i get a sex on the beach, please?” he nods with a polite smile as he walks away to make your order.
“still rockin with those?” you hear an all-too-familiar voice say.
“if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” you mutter, not bothering to turn to her.
she scoffs. what is her problem now? you think.
“you’re so damn predictable,” she laughs, “it’s hilarious.”
“at least i’m reliable,” you retort, “when’s the last time you had any stability in your life?”
“when i was with you,” she says immediately.
that makes you turn your head. you are greeted with paige’s cold eyes and an unreadable expression.
“what are you doing, paige? what are we doing?” you sound exhausted.
“you tell me. i never got a good explanation when you…left.”
“i tried. you wouldn’t let me. didn’t think you wanted to hear from me after our last conversation.”
“don’t pin this on me,” she says pointedly, “you left me.”
“i didn’t have a choice, paige, you have to understand that.”
“but did you have to leave me? you know we could’ve worked it out.”
“could we have?”
she sighs. the conversation has elevated quickly. you didn’t expect her to open up like this now, to bring all of this up now. maybe it was the ambient atmosphere or the influential alcohol, or both. the man behind the bar sets your drink down on a small napkin in front of you, but you decide against going back to your table.
“so…” she says quietly, “have you been seeing anyone? i know how the fans like to twist shit, but is any of it true?”
“wouldn’t you like to know,” you laugh.
“hey, i’m just tryna gauge where you’re at right now. scope out the competition, you know how it is.”
“‘scope out the competition’?”
she shrugs.
“have you been seeing anyone?”
“have you heard that i’m seeing anyone?”
god, this girl could not give a simple answer to save her life. but two can play that game.
“maybe i have. maybe i haven’t. and maybe i’ve seen you with a certain husky named azzi?” you have no clue where you got this idea knowing damn well that they’re nothing more than friends.
“and what if i am? you jealous, ma?” they’re nothing more than friends…right?
“hilarious.”
“that’s not a no.”
“no, it’s not..” you mumble under your breath, turning away from her to avoid her burning stare.
“good.” what the hell is this girl getting at? her avoidant yet suggestive responses set something off in you. “you never answered my question.”
“i am with someone,” you lie through your teeth, wanting to get a reaction out of her.
her breath hitches, “who?” her tone is targeted with a hint of…anger?
“why do you care? you’re with azzi right?”
“i never said that.”
“but you didn’t deny it,” you point out, using her own tactics.
“i am now. i’m not with her. so who are you with?”
“i don’t need to tell you anything.”
“so you’re not with anyone?” she laughs. this girl.
“i am.”
“then tell me.”
“no.”
“fine. be like that,” and suddenly she’s pulling you up from the barstool and into a poorly-lit hallway.
“where are we going?” you demand as you two turn a corner, the only light is the distant hue from the main part of the bar.
“we need to talk about this.”
“talk about what?”
“this,” she motions between the two of you as she pushes you against a wall, one strong arm preventing you from leaving.
“there’s nothing to talk about.”
“i’m not gonna let you keep dodging this, y/n. you left me to go to whole different state with no explanation whatsoever.”
“because you ghosted me first! what was i supposed to do?”
“we were supposed to work it out. remember? when we were teammates on and off the court?”
“you shut me out.”
“because, y/n,” she sighs deeply, “i knew i couldn’t handle it if i had to say goodbye to you. i would’ve-“ she stops herself.
“you would’ve what?”
after about ten seconds of silence, she whispers, “i would’ve begged you not to go - not to leave me.”
your eyes shoot to hers, but she’s looking down at the floor. her head is almost resting against yours as you observe her adamant yet vulnerable state. you’ve never seen her like this.
from what you’ve seen online, paige seemed to have the time of her life after you transferred. you assumed that she moved on so easily, so quickly. you didn’t consider that it was all just a front.
“paige,”
“what?” she barely gets out, still avoiding your eyes.
“look at me,” she doesn’t, “please.”
her head flies up at that, “what?” she repeats.
you don’t know what to say, you just needed to see her - really see her. her eyes are filled with such clear emotion yet you can’t put your finger on what she was feeling. from her body language you can tell that she misses you. and as you realize you subconsciously put your own hand on her waist, you body is telling you that you miss her too.
you contemplate your next move for a second, questioning if all of this is worth it. but she’s worth it. in the time you’ve spent apart from her, you grew and matured. you also realize that you need her like you need oxygen. you come to the conclusion that you always have, but it took distance and space to accept it.
not wanting to get too in your head, you smash your lips onto hers as your shoulders instantly relax. you feel paige pause but eventually melt into the kiss, moving her hands up to the nape of your neck. you bring your other hand up to her wrist, resting it there as you relish in the feeling of her lips finally against yours after almost two years. you guide her hand down to your thigh as you move to grasp her shoulders. she glides over your upper thing, riding up your lilac skirt.
she breaks the kiss for a moment, “i’ve always loved you in purple.”
before she can resume the heated kiss, you push against her and observe your surroundings. to your left is the open area you just came from, all your friends oblivious to your activities. all the way down to your right is a door leading out to the back lot and a closer door - presumably a supply closet.
you weigh out your options: do you want to stop the interaction completely, drag her into your car all the way outside, or simply shove her into the closet and have your way with her?
smirking up at her, you pull her into the closet as she laughs at your desperation but follows you nonetheless.
yes, there were still broken pieces in your relationship. yes, you have always claimed to hate each other. but no, you weren’t leaving without her, even if you had to use handcuffs.
she was never not yours, and you were never not hers.
— leilani signing off ! 📁
#leilanihours#laniwrites#paige bueckers#paige buckets#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers fluff#paige bueckers smut#uconn#university of iowa#wbb#ncaa#ncaaw#wnba#march madness#taylor swift#imgonnagetyouback#ttpd#tortured poets#the tortured poets department#wlw#writing#Spotify
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COME TO ME, ANGEL OF MUSIC
masterlist ✧works in procress ✧ AO3
-ˋˏ| summary: On a costume party, you meet Aemond, a strange man who seems to lurke your thoughts. Soon enough, you'll find he is more than what he seems.
✧| Pairing: modern!Aemond Targaryen x Reader
✧| word count: 4.2k
✧| Warnings: MDNI 18+, possible dub-con, p in v sex, oral sex (f receiving), Aemond is very weird, and this contains dark contents.
-ˋˏslightly based on the phantom of the opera + my contribution to halloween
You wish you knew how you ended up in a rich party, honestly. It was a costume party, and everyone had rich costumes. You went for a classic one; Christine from Phantom of the Opera. Your friend was dating the younger son of this family, throwing a party in the whole damn state they had, as if it was some kind of Saltburn. You didn’t comply when she dragged you to ‘meet one of his rich friends so you and him can be together’ because honestly you had nothing better to do.
Seeing people do heroin and ecstasy was not your style, so you separated from your friend soon enough, as she told you her boyfriend and her would spend quite some time on that. She had promised to invite one of your childhood friends (and crush); Ben. Even if it had been ages, you still thought about the chance to meet him.
Dancing on the dance floor was something else. They didn’t play some of the usual party songs played on discos or bars. It was somehow more refined, but it didn't stop you from dancing. You danced with some dudes; with a mummy, with Beetle juice, with Pennywise and even with the typical one dressed as the Joker. You made out with them a bit, but soon enough you pulled away.
Once you were sweating through your costume, you went to the backyard, seeing all the stairs you had to get down to touch the grass. Instead, you walked to the chairs in the balcony and stayed there.
“I lost my… fucking piercing…” you murmur, feeling your face and not feeling your nose ring. Did you even…?
“Hello, didn’t expect you here”
You turn to see the voice by your side. It was dark, or perhaps you weren’t using your glasses, but you could swear there wasn’t a man there.
“Hey” you murmur softly.
“Who are you supposed to be?” He asks softly, smoking his cigarette as he was against the wall.
You weren’t one for small talk, truly. But here you were.
“Christine Daaé” you tell him softly looking at him.
“Hm.”
“From the phantom of the opera”
“I know, it is rather obvious coming from you” he says softly, another puff as he speaks.
You frown slightly, confused by his words. What was he on? Maybe your face is familiar with someone he knows. You are sure you know him. He is oddly familiar as well, and you definitely couldn't shake the feeling of knowing him. He was like a distant, misty memory, as if from a dream.
“And who are you?”
“Nosferatu”
You take a moment to watch his costume, seeing the formal clothes he used. He had long silver hair, and it looked silky and it was very eye-catching. As you saw more and more of him, as the dim lights from the garden gave him a sombre aura. His skin was pale, not rosy-like pale, but straight out white, cold tones. He had a purple eye, and he wore an eye patch to the other.
“I Thought Nosferatu was bald”
“I thought Christine Daaé could sing.”
“You surely wear tons of makeup”
“You should see my brother” he says, looking at you “He came as Edward Cullen, Tons of glitter”
You chuckle “I can see it”
He was handsome, leaning on the wall as he inspected you. Gave you goose bumps, that, and the cold air too.
“What’s your brother’s name?” You ask softly, looking at him as the skirt of your costume had been caught on some leaves.
“Aegon” he says, as if testing your knowledge on the name.
“And yours?” You ask, smoothly. You wanted to know his, in truth, and he smirked as he puffed on his cigarette.
“Aemond” he says softly, looking at you. “Yours?”
You tell him your name, and he hums watching over you. There is something about the way he looks at you, making your skin have goose bumps and you turn slightly more conscious about yourself. He was intimidating, yet at the same time, you were attracted to him as moths are to light.
“You fit the costume” he says, puffing on his cigarette again.
“It is my favourite costume. I found a white corset, and a white puffy dress. I did the star pattern on it, and it took me a while to style my hair.”
“Hm. I see.” his voice is sultry, watching you closely.
“I have seen the Phantom of the Opera since I was a child. I love it” you admit with a smile “Seen it like a hundred times. I doubt there is someone who has seen it more than I”
He raises an eyebrow at your nerdiness, yet he shrugs, throwing his cigarette on the floor to stomp on it. His shoes had dragon patterns on them, and looked as if they had never been worn.
“I doubt it” he says smugly, moving to sit in another chair next. One of his legs lazily going above the other as he leaned back. “I have seen it for years and years”
You roll your eyes amused, as if he was trying to fight who was nerdier. “Yeah, right”
“I mean it. They always play it in the theatre” he says, looking at your face as if trying to see your reaction. He isn’t very expressive, you notice, as his face almost doesn’t move as he speaks.
“And so you happen to visit the theatre always?”
“Well, in fact I do.” He shrugs, moving to take another cigarette out of his pocket, to lighten it up. You roll your eyes as if you don’t believe him. “I own the place.”
It is a moment of silence, as you watch him brag about it. Men and their audacity. He was extremely rude, apart from off-putting. And he was arrogant, you knew an arrogant man when you saw one, how his chin is titled up, as if looking down at you.
“Yeah, right”
“I mean it” He says, surely.
“Are you rich?” You say in disbelief, not believing one word of what he was saying.
“I live some states away” He says, referring to the mansions. “It’s older than the damn country”
“I do not believe you one bit”
“Don’t” he shrugs nonchalantly, his face barely changing as he takes another puff. “You could have had free entry to see the phantom of the opera every night”
You narrowed your eyes to his words, you do not believe him. How rich can you be to own one of these houses AND own a theatre? Makes 0 sense in your middle class mind. Yet, Aemond, for some reason, is different. You cannot explain it… and it bugs you. Yet you are curious as a cat.
“Okay, Mr. Billionaire” You say mockingly, leaning closer as you watch his face. “If you do own that, you must be an aristocrat” you point out, seeing how his eyebrows raise and he nods slightly.
“Yeah”
“So your family has been around for centuries?”
He nods, and he says “Yeah, more than centuries”
“Every dynasty falls, you know. Sooner or Later”
“Or they evolve” He says, taking another puff. He has a calm way to speak, almost sultry. He speaks as if he had all the right opinions on the world, and doesn’t leave room to question him.
Aemond was handsome, perhaps too handsome. Though the white makeup was too much (and you can imagine how full of glitter his brother should be), he has a mystery surrounding him. He was a billionaire, yet he doesn’t tell you his family name, which doesn’t surprise you, since rich people are full of fake friends. You doubted that half of the people in this mansion even knew the hosts personally. And Aemond seems the calm type, stoic, silent and observant. You can notice it just by the way he stares at you, no expression on his face, not even boredom.
“And you are friends with …” You ask, moving a hand to point at the castle.
“My brother is more social than I am” his tone is quiet.
“And he dragged you here?”
“I dragged myself here” he says. Even if he is very expressionless, you were getting tired of him.
You didn’t even notice how awkward the whole conversation was. He was so clearly uninterested in you, only bragged about his luxuries and spoke in a condescending tone. You were confused, no doubts. The alcohol had been too much.
“I will go to the dance floor then…, Aemond” you say standing up, and he doesn’t do the courtesy to look interested.
As you leave, you just try to sneak away from his little corner, and you try to find your friend. The meeting with Aemond left you a sour taste in your mouth, no doubts. Lisa was certainly more of a social butterfly, and if she was next to her boyfriend she would probably be like his trophy, anyways.
You walked through the corridors, and tried to check your phone. It was almost one in the morning, 00:58. You sighed, checking your messages as you tried to stay against the wall; the music was loud enough to drive you insane.
Where are u??? Ben is here…
You cursed yourself, muttering a great deal of insults as you answered, asking where the hell she was with Ben. You came with a purpose, and you certainly couldn’t leave without it.
Ben was handsome, and his blonde hair fell from his face as he was dressed as some superhero you didn’t recognise. Yet he was lean, and handsome as hell. He has some beard, not too rusty, but you liked it, suited him well. It reminded you of his dad, no doubts.
“Ben” you say smiling
“Oh, look at you” he says, standing up to hug you. “It has been ages!”
“Too long” You say smiling, hugging him back. “How have you been? I mean… What have you been up to?” It was almost impossible not to want to ask Ben about all the amazing things he must have been up to.
Between chatting, drinking and dancing, it’s nearly three am when you are still dancing on him in the dance floor. It was less crowded than before, yet it still was hot as hell. You were sweating slightly, and still with Ben, dancing together and having so much fun.
“Hey, Christine”
You turn a bit confused. Oh, it was this guy. The Nosferatu guy, Aemond.
“Hey” You say to him, cringing a bit. His expressionless face looked from you to Ben, who stopped to dance to introduce himself. “Ben, this is Aemond… Aemond, Ben”
Whereas Ben extended his hand with a smile, Aemond watched him with a hum, acknowledging him with a raise of eyebrows. You wanted to die, he was so fucking rude and hard to swallow, and you didn’t even know why he was bothering you.
“You are friends?”
You try to answer, yet you find yourself mumbling nonsense as your cheeks get red slightly from shame. It is Aemond who answers.
“Yeah. Long acquaintances” he says, and his face finally changes. His lips curled in a smirk, his arms crossed on his chest as he was very much interested in Ben now. “Isn’t it right?”
You look at him, and then at Ben, blinking a bit confused. “Yeah, we know each other… and we are so close”
“Oh, I see. Didn’t mention that” He says, his smile confused as he looks at you.
“Well, I didn’t remember” you say, a bit confused, frowning.
Where did you exactly meet Aemond?
“Ouch” Aemond says, looking at you. His voice still cold, and detached “Didn’t you tell him all the times we have gone to see the Phantom of the Opera?”
It takes you a bit to speak. “Yeah, tons of times… Aemond owns a theatre, and they play it all the time.”
Ben looks at you a bit confused. His hand is on the small of your back, and still close to you.
“Maybe you could come with us” you babble, words out of your mouth hastily. “I’d like you to” you add, words you like to say finally coming out of your mouth.
“Sure thing” Ben says smiling, giving you a reassuring nod.
“We could arrange it for the next season. Now it is all about more new musicals” Aemond says shrugging “Even if the Phantom of the Opera is quite new, still”
“It’s old as fuck, dude” Ben laughs it out, but his laugh is met with no response.
You looked at him, eyes wide. You found it funny, why didn’t you laugh?
“Either way…” Aemond says, his tone unwavering as always. “We have to leave, darling”
It is then when you look at Aemond again. You were attracted to him like a moth is to light, and he was like a drug. He was handsome, tall and definitely hot. He made you feel alive.
Yet you didn’t want to leave Ben. Why would you? Lisa had especially invited him for this purpose, to get you two together, to reconnect and with some luck, hook up. Even if you weren’t the type to hook up with guys you have met the same day, unlike Lisa. She joked that maybe Ben was worth the exception.
“Wait, I thought we were staying…?” Ben says, confused, since Lisa’s boyfriend had no problem in lending one of the guest rooms to you two.
“No” you say, almost automatically.
“Come on” Aemond says, pulling you away from Ben, grabbing your elbow with a self-sufficient smirk.
His touch was cold, unwelcoming and uncaring. Even with that, you followed his lead out of the mansion, not caring to wave goodbye to Ben.
It is when he opens his old car, probably expensive as hell, when you ask him. “Where are we going?”
He smiles “Oh, my darling. We are going to my state”
Your mind has problems remembering how you two exactly arrived at his state. You have had too much alcohol, either way.
And as you went away from the party, you started to ask yourself more things. Why did you ignore Ben? You were an ass to him, and you didn’t care about it. But in truth, you did, and you felt awful about it.
It made zero sense; you couldn’t understand your change of heart. As if sorcery was inflicted upon you, or mind control. When you take out your phone, to send him a message, to apologise, and to also tell Lisa where you are, you find yourself with no signal at all. You barely had any battery on it too.
“Do not bother” Aemond’s cold tone comes as he drives. The car was so old, the gearshift was like a lever next to the steering wheel. Damn, this shit didn’t even have a radio. “There is no signal around here”
“No technology either…” you murmur between your teeth, and try to look out in the darkness of the night. It was all mist, from miles and miles in the field.
“Do not worry yourself” He says, and with that, you shut up.
Your walk is almost automatic, following his lead into his house. It was a mansion, more like a Victorian one. Maybe even older, this truly seems like centuries old. You couldn’t imagine how old his dynasty was to inherit something like this.
Aemond could be as sultry as he was cold, because soon enough you were on his bed, sitting as he talked softly, about your appearance or how perfect you were. You truly didn’t take a look around his home, or his room. Surely, there were a lot of stairs, and a lot of floors. But you only cared for Aemond.
“Dressing up like Christine, hm? Suits you” He murmurs, his hands cupping your face as if you were dear to him, yet there was no tenderness in his tone, only that detachment you despised.
“Hm” it was all you could say.
“So perfect for me. I knew I was right on you”
His lips devour yours as he kisses you, and you can do anything but return his kisses, perhaps not with the same fervour, but still you are a bit enthusiastic with that.
If he was cold, he made it up by being addicted. Kissing him was addictive, and the taste of it was making you lean closer and closer to him. And it was as if he thought the same about you, by the way he was acting the same, if not more desperate.
You feel his kisses travel down, as his hands lower down to move the skirt of your dress, feeling your bare legs and going upwards. His face nuzzles your neck, and you can feel how he leaves hickeys, bites and wet kisses on the skin.
He was insane with lust, like an animal as he pressed kisses on your collarbone, pulling you back in his bed. Kissing Aemond was like being in heaven; you could barely feel your own body.
“You are perfect” He murmurs “No need to be nervous” his tone is sultry, almost too enchanting for you.
You weren’t even nervous, to be honest. Your heart was racing like crazy, and your hands were sweating. Still, you didn’t feel nervous.
“I’m not” you murmur softly.
“You are” he says, his eyes turning to look at you. “I know it. You can’t hide anything from me”
As his hands move to take off your clothes, and his mouth relishes on your breasts, clavicle and neck, you start to wonder. Was he stalking you? You remember him too dizzily to connect dots, but he was starting to…
Scare you. Arouse you. You weren’t even sure.
Aemond was especially good with his mouth; his kisses pressed lower and lower as his hands caressed your thighs softly, looking up at you.
“I’ll make you feel better” he promises, his tone sounds ever sweeter. “I know what to do to cure you”
If the remark was oddly strange, he doesn’t give you a moment to think about it, as his mouth goes to your cunt, his tongue moving expertly along your folds to taste you, like a man starved does. He was, in a way, starved. You could see it in his gaze, looking up to you to see your reactions and if trying to see right across your soul.
He accommodates your thighs on his shoulders, as if hugging your back to press you further to his face, and mouth. He was groaning on it, delighting himself in your taste, as you could only whimper and see with half lidded eyes, biting your lower lip as you feel your head starting to drop back in delight.
His mansion was cold, and Aemond was even colder, yet everywhere he touched, felt warm. It was magnificently paradoxical, yet it made every sense in your head. If you could form a logical thought, that would be, because when Aemond touched you it was as if your brain melted completely, being nothing as he touched your body.
“Will you let me?” He asks, his mouth and chin shiny from your arousal, gods, you were leaking wet. You haven’t noticed until now, you were really wet. And he only seems to be happy about it.
He glances up at your face, watching you closely with his careful eye. You were right on his mercy, and he liked it. He could tell that you were loving it, the way he gives you attention and takes care of you, and yet he isn’t pleased when you nod as a way to answer him “I want you to say it out loud”
“Yes” you say, your breath almost stuck in your throat as you speak, nodding. Your cheeks were red, and you could feel your blood going everywhere in your body, especially where he had touched you, and kissed you.
“You are all mine, hm?” He says, seeing the hickeys on your neck and legs.
His cock was hard, and he was as excited as you were to have you. You didn’t quite get what he was after, sex? Taking care of you? An odd, distorted and sick pleasure of… doing what he does? You couldn’t get it.
He doesn’t use protection, and you also don’t try to ask about it. You just don’t care about it, you want him. You need him. You craved him.
Aemond hiss when he enters you. Your pussy is warm, wet and welcoming to his cock. Seeing you in display to him, moaning as his cock starts filling you is too much for him. It’s too overwhelming, and he has to curse out loud, moving to grab your thighs to pull you closer, your body moving as if you were a ragdoll.
“Fuck, princess. That’s it” he mutters, his hips going back, before harshly going forward, starting to pound into you as if he was a feral animal, grunting and groaning,
Your body welcomes his harshness, feeling his cock pound again and again against all your sensitive spots. He knows what he was doing, surely, and he knew how to please his partner in bed. His dick slides effortlessly into her cunt, you could feel his balls slapping against your skin.
“Aemond” you moan is more like a whine, the same tone wounded animals used emit when in pain. Oddly enough, that turns him on more.
“That’s it” He murmurs, his hips being harsh as he thrusted, and you could only imagine how much it would hurt to stand up next morning. "Sing for me...."
Aemond reaches with his hand to find your clit. Most men would be blind, but Aemond had experience. His wet fingers rub your clit, as he made sure his thrusts were overwhelming enough to have you made a mess for him. Moaning loudly, he feels your legs shaking a bit as he leans to whisper in your ear.
“Come for me” His tone is many things, a plea, an order, a fact. "Come to me"
You didn’t know how, but he knew. You were coming hard, as you felt his cock deep inside and his wet kisses all over. It was intense, and he had you all disoriented. Maybe you squirted, maybe he came right with you, and maybe he came inside you. But the truth? You didn’t care.
You fell asleep soon after, almost unconscious from such a night. Alcohol, crazy sex, and going to a stranger’s home.
It all hits you by the morning.
If you could call that a morning, honestly. You wake up, in the silk bed sheets, feeling colder than ever, and naked. You turned around, and everything was dark, as if it was night. The tall, heavy curtains in the windows were old enough to be thick, and not let a single ray of sunshine inside. Yet, it was badly closed, because one ray hit right in your neck, and in your left eye, waking you up.
You don’t know how long you have slept, as you stand up. You feel panicked, because you went home with a stranger. And then you start remembering. Leaving without telling Lisa, leaving Ben just because Aemond said so, and you were stupid enough to follow him.
And you had sex with him. You can feel your body aching from how feral he was with you, and you sit up in bed, whining, as your whole body is sore and burning you.
You check your thighs, red and lots of bruises there. And your stomach, and your forearms. You stand up carefully, moving closer to the window you had seen in the hallway, not minding your nakedness, or who might see you wander around.
You are more worried by the blood coming out your neck. You see yourself in the mirror; your neck has dry blood, bruises and hickeys. Your face? Intact. But your neck and collarbone were… destroyed. Your breasts are saved, just a little bit, bitten and full of hickeys, but no blood there.
You try to move the dry blood, trying to see what you were injured. You didn’t hear a sound in the house; it was dark, and quiet. The most light that entered was from a skylight in the stairs, which seemed to be endless.
You see two dots, deep and scarlet in your neck. And another pair, and another. You had to check more than twice to try to make it sense. Aemond had bitten you. It was all Aemond.
“I see you have woken up” He murmurs, leaning on the hallway, with a cup of tea, and some cookies.
You turn to look at him, and you regret not having something to cover yourself with.
“You are a monster” You say, turning back to the room, to try and go find your clothes and your phone. “Biting me like a… a… a vampire” you say, just to test the waters. Hells, you didn’t even believe he was a vampire.
Aemond chuckles, following right behind you as he leaves the tray in the cabinet. He looks at you, covering the door unconsciously, as he crosses his arms. “So you figured it out then” he says. “I thought it would take you less”
“You… drugged me”
“No” He says, crossing his arms, offended. “I did not need to.”
He was attractive, but it wasn’t him. It wasn’t his charm, and how handsome he was. Of course, you think, being an idiot. You had seen twilight a million times, and you felt like Bella when she discovered the same about Edward.
“Vampires aren’t real” You remind him, putting on your clothes. They were dirty, yet you just wanted to get out of there. Gods, you were an idiot. An idiot. And you didn’t even know what you would tell Lisa, or Ben, or your parents…
“Aren’t they, really?” He asks, almost mockingly. “And where are you going, darling?” He asks amused, seeing you grab your purse and pull your clothes fast as day. It took you a bit to close the corset of the dress, but whatever.
“Away” you mutter, which causes him to laugh.
The only, genuine and loud laugh you have heard him do. Maybe the most genuine he has ever been in the time you have meet him.
“You are adorable, my sweet” he says, his tone as detached even with his amusement. “I thought it was clear. You are not going anywhere”
You look at him, as if confused. He wasn’t a vampire, it was ridiculous. It felt like a crappy movie that they passed through forgotten channels.
“Yeah, right” you say, passing through him and going into the hallway. “I am leaving” you tell him, trying to look brave, as you try to decipher the fucking mansion.
“You are scared as a kitten” Aemond says, more amused than anything “Your heart is beating like crazy, darling”
“Whatever!” You scream, finding some stairs and going down.
“And how will you ever leave? The closest town is far away for leaving on foot.”
“I’ll call a tab” you say, stubbornly, taking out your phone.
Seriously? 11%? You sighed. Aemond didn’t stop you, but let you figure it on your own. There was no signal here.
If you go, with how cold it was, you were going to die of hypothermia. And going out without a map, without a direction, you will be also dead, if not found by him. You really, really were trapped. You had to think of something else, surely, but not now…
“I see your pretty head has figured it out” Aemond says, from top of the stairs. “Now, will you take the cookies and tea I had you? I bought them just for you” he says, almost annoyed. “I can’t let my pet starve”
That was what he wanted you for. If he was a vampire, he needed blood. And he had his fill, and he had his next meal. It was you; he wanted you as food, and to fuck.
"I want my pretty angel to keep on singing for me" his tone is deep, smiling, as he teases you with those words. "My angel of music"
You want him to shut up, but at the same time, you don't.
You remember, for a moment, when he bites you with his fangs. You had thought it was with the costume, but he didn’t dress up. He surely invented he was Nosferatu, and you believed it like a fool. Those fangs weren’t fake, and they dig into your neck to draw blood from you, multiple times.
It was painful, and it stung like a bitch. You didn’t want him to feed on you.
"You have come here with one purpose and one alone" he says, as he lure you into his whims "I have needed you with me... to serve me. "
Yet when you see him smile, guiding you to eat, you feel calm, even if your mind knew he was using his dirty tricks on you, just like before. He seduced you, into his will. And gods, if you didn’t feel like you wanted just that: be his forever. To feed, to fuck, to devour.
It was surely going to drive you insane one day, yet you had to get used to it. It didn’t seem as if you were going to be out anytime soon.
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