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youcouldmakealife · 10 months

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LBTE: Jared (118-121)

We head to Vancouver! And Joey makes the news.

If you want to follow along, the series page is here.

TW for a homophobic slur in here.

118. Niceties

Jared calls Bryce back, and manages not to cry on the phone. He packs with the help of an even quieter than usual Julius. He calls his mom, and promises he’ll talk to his dad tomorrow, because he can’t yet, he knows his dad being furious on his behalf is going to be just — too much.

They’re often so united on a hockey standpoint — remember Don’s gone to hundreds if not thousands of Jared’s games over the years, accompanied with almost as many debriefs — that talking to Don about stuff, especially stuff that they’re both angry or upset about, is often hearing his own thoughts from another person. And when he’s trying to suppress some of those thoughts so he doesn’t burst into tears, talking to Don is unhelpful.

He’s got a text from a 604 number when he gets off the phone. Hey, welcome to the Canucks! This is Gabe Markson. I’m probably your new centre. Sorry about the downgrade. Let me know if there’s anything you need. Whether that’s a ride from the airport or help finding a place, we got you.

Gabe!!!

It’s nice, especially since Jared’s used to being basically the only person he knows who uses proper capitalisation and punctuation in his texts, with the exception of Raf and Grace.

Love that Jared immediately approves of Gabe thanks to the magic of punctuation use.

hi new teammate! it says, followed by a slew of hockey related emojis and four blue whales. Jared guesses there aren’t any orcas.

Dmitry! Who forgot to identify himself.

“I can’t believe my mom gets to see you tomorrow and I don’t,” Bryce complains.

Which one is he more jealous of, I ask?

“We’re going to talk shit about you behind your back,” Jared says.

“Pft,” Bryce says, with the certainty of a man who knows his mother would never, even though his husband totally would.

Elaine is a Saint, and you can’t tell Bryce otherwise (or Jared, honestly)

He grabs a smoothie at Booster Juice, can just see Raf’s judgmental eyes, since it’s like, okay, only a smoothie in the loosest sense — chocolate almond milk and banana and frozen yogurt, a vaguely more socially acceptable milkshake for breakfast. Whatever. He deserves it.

The Funky Monkey is delicious. It also contains 67 grams of sugar. But jokes on Raf, the ostensibly more nutritious one he ordered after loser bought the winner a smoothie in their rookie years? Has 73. (and way more protein, but!)

Jared’s kind of figured out the standard of lying about his and Bryce’s marriage is that lying by omission: cool and also often necessary. Lying by lying? Not okay.

The current status of their compromise.

“I think you just jinxed me to get injured like, my first practice,” Jared says.

“Please don’t, our LTIR is literally just a list of all my former linemates right now,” Markson says.

Gabe is unfortunately not exaggerating. But on the bright side, their D is very healthy!

Raf says Oleg Kurmazov tells him not to take anything his brother says seriously, and between that and Markson’s surprise at how tame the text Jared got is, he’s getting a faintly terrifying picture of what to expect. If he got away from Jacobi just to play on a line with another Jacobi, he swears —

Jared is going to suffer and I will enjoy every minute of it.

That seems like the kind of thing the hockey gods would do. Not that Jared believes in them in a non-joking way, but the irony of Bryce and Jared swapping hometown teams feels exactly like something those non-existent hockey gods would do.

I am the hockey gods. It's a fun job, honestly. And also truly is hard to avoid a bit of sadism, I understand the not-real-but-also-don’t-wash-that-jersey IRL hockey gods.

Jared writes ‘Bryce Marcus’, and, in case there was any doubt it’s just a weird name doppelganger, Bryce’s date of birth probably cancels that out.

It’s not like the Canucks can trade him until the season’s over anyway.

Way less scary to write it in a form than tell your GM in a face to face meeting, but still pretty big.

“The leftovers are the best part,” Elaine says serenely when Jared questions her judgment on portion size. “Just pick whatever you like.”

What Jared apparently would like, is everything. Elaine may have made a good call, because he’s famished.

Her mom sense extends to you now too, Jared. And she’s right about leftovers.

“How jealous are you right now?” Jared says.

“I want to be there too,” Bryce complains.

“We had Chinese,” Jared says. “I’m sleeping over.”

“Stop rubbing it in,” Bryce says.

He's so pouty right now.

19. Acclimation

Jared’s nervous, walking into practice. It feels like the first day of school, but more — maybe the first day of school after you transfer. To a school of your enemies.

Evil Orca High.

Jared doesn’t ask what she needs to be downtown for, because he suspects the answer is ‘so I can drive you home’ but she’d make an excuse, so.

I mean, yes, but also: she's going shopping. Bryce didn't get that from nowhere.

but Elaine’s like Bryce — doing nice shit genuinely seems to make them happy.

Jared does not understand.

“We do not do this last names bullshit here,” Kurmazov says sternly, before tossing him a roll. “Dmitry. I don’t care if you pronounce it wrong, everyone does.”

Unlike his poor brother, stuck being referred to solely as Kurmazov by his own adopted hockey child for literal years.

“Please tell me you’re not like doing a Riley-Lapointe, married to a rival thing though,” Foster says.

“Um?” Jared says.

“Okay!” Foster says. “Okay. I. That’s fine!”

Poor Brian has not learned a key GM duty: keeping his inside thoughts on the inside.

“Good,” Foster says. “Maybe have a chat with Gabe? If there’s anything you’re concerned about, or — he’s good people, he’ll listen.”

Brian leaning so hard on 'please talk to our queer player about this' without actually saying it.

“Have I told you how happy we are to have you on the roster?” Brian says, and Jared has the sudden urge to hug him, but he’s pretty damn positive hugging your GM is not appropriate.

As far as GMs go, he is pretty huggable, despite the fact he could still likely snap Jared in two.

“I redecorated your room a little today,” Elaine says. “Bryce told me which mattress you guys like and they delivered it right away, it was terrific, and I’ve put Bryce’s spare clothes in storage, so there’s space in the closet and the dresser for your things, and in the bathroom too — I got a shower caddy, and the medicine cabinet’s —”

Count is at 3 magic beds now. Also she's nervous, bless her: she really wants Jared to feel welcome.

She’s taken the Canucks stuff out too, which he appreciates, because it was funny when he was visiting with Bryce, giving him shit about it, but feels faintly weird now that’s playing for them.

Can you imagine how much shit he would get. Can you.

“It’s like ten years old,” Bryce says. Jared wonders if Bryce and Elaine rehearsed the ‘override Jared’s protests’ together. “Need to play at your best, you know?”

Well, Bryce had to prepare her for Jared's tendency to turn down gifts.

The Canucks aren’t the Oilers, and if Jared wants to stay in the roster, avoid getting sent halfway across the continent to Utica, there’s no slacking off here.

The Canucks' AHL team is now in Abbotsford, which is a mere 70 km from Vancouver, but for literal years it was in upstate New York and boy were emergency recalls of players a fucking mess. Only arrangement I can think of that was less convenient was Montreal's farm team briefly being in Newfoundland, less because of distance (though there was plenty) and more because of weather and lack of alternate forms of transportation if Canadian winter was being Canadian winter (inevitably, it was).

Anyway, Jared has nothing to worry about: those cursed former linemates are all pretty far off from rejoining the roster.

“Okay, we’re both equally awesome,” Jared says.

“You’re more awesome,” Bryce says huffily.

Even their arguments are gross.

120. Machiavellianism

Jared has now seen a lot of Joey Munroe. Like — all of him.

Joey is not having a good day, everybody.

“You and Bryce don’t send each other nudes, do you?” his mom asks instead of saying ‘hello’.

“What!” Jared says. “Mom!”

“It’s a valid concern!” his mom says. “Just tell me you don’t and I’ll drop it!”

The cold fear that went through her body when she saw that article.

“How was your day?” his mom asks.

“Well, no one leaked nudes of me, so better than his,” Jared says.

“You said there were no nudes!” she says.

“I meant it hypothetically mom, oh my god,” Jared says.

They're both actively shrieking at one another at this point.

Greg’s sent him an email with no subject, the body reading ‘Would this be something to worry about? Greg’ because everyone in his life is collectively trying to murder him with embarrassment.

Greg also had the cold fear moment.

Jared’s too mature to respond with ‘No, oh my god’. Well, he clearly isn’t, because that’s exactly what he said to his mother, but he responds to Greg with a simple ‘No, nothing to worry about’, then, after a moment of thought, cc’s Summers in the email so hopefully Bryce doesn’t have to deal with the mortification too.

This is why Jared's Dave's favourite.

Maybe Jared’s too dumb to be Machiavellian. It’s distinctly possible.

I like that Jared has this thought and then later just goes straight back to schemes, some of which work out…poorly

“You see the thing with the Scout?” Jared asks before their game against the Golden Seals, voice carefully pitched low so Dmitry won’t overhear.

“Yeah,” Gabe says. “That was super fucked up.”

“That he’s gay, or—”

I know Jared's fishing. You know Jared's fishing. Gabe just hears a dude saying 'yeah it's fucked up he's gay' when he's already in a clenched stomach bad mood about this.

He feels even more off when he notices Gabe talking to Munroe at centre ice, both of them looking serious. Maybe they know one another, but Gabe wasn’t talking about him like he knew him personally when Jared brought it up. Gabe skates away, skates back when another Scout calls his name, and Jared watches warily. It doesn’t look like a fight, or like Gabe was giving him shit? But then, there’s no way to tell.

Gabe's a good boy. Reminder that the other Scout was Scratch communing with Gabe, as he is obligated to do with every other Torontonian, while Joey silently sighed at him. Already married.

“What’d you tell Munroe?” Jared asks.

“That I was really sorry that happened to him,” Gabe says. “And that I don’t know what he’ll deal with from other teams, but that none of the Canucks are going to be assholes about it.”

“You can’t exactly guarantee that,” Jared says.

“I know our room,” Gabe says, then frowns at him. “I don’t need to tell you not to be an asshole about it, right?”

All members of Canuck leadership would lose their shit if someone was an asshole about it. Well, that's not true. Gabe would do 'I'm really disappointed in your behaviour', and that would hurt the most.

Oh great, Jared’s just — really hitting his accidentally appearing homophobic stride with Gabe lately.

He could not do better if he tried.

The loss isn’t his fault — the Scouts terrifyingly talented first line is responsible for every single goal

Stupid sexy Willy. Stupid shitty Shithead.

“But would you be cool about it?” Jared asks. “I’m pretty sure he’s going to be cool, he’s the YCP rep—”

“Casterley’s the YCP rep for the Flames,” Bryce says. “And he calls the refs faggots every time we get a goal disallowed.”

Hey remember when Andrew Shaw got suspended for calling the ref that exact thing and became the Canadiens' YCP representative after? Because I do.

Also: you may recall Casterley as the dude low-key cheating on his wife in Luke's narrative. He sucks.

“I get it,” Bryce says. “Good luck?”

Jared’s faintly concerned at this rate he’s going to somehow come off as homophobic when he’s coming out, so he probably needs it.

I mean, if anyone could…

“Elaine and I hate it,” Jared says. “No more fights.”

“You can’t just team up with my mom against me,” Bryce mutters.

“We’re an awesome team, though,” Jared says. “The best team.”

Way to shut Bryce down. Man can't argue that.

121. Confession

“I can—” Jared interrupts, because if he doesn’t get it out soon he knows he’s going to balk. “I’m um. I’m married.”

“Okay,” Gabe says, frowning the exact same way Foster did, like he’s confused by the nonsequitor. Which is understandable.

Generally the wedding ring speaks for itself.

“Dude,” Gabe says. “I’m not kidding. You met Stephen. Like, for a minute, but you met him.”

“Your roommate?” Jared asks.

“He’s my boyfriend,” Gabe says, and the living arrangements suddenly make way more sense.

To be fair if there was anywhere someone making NHL money would require a roommate, Vancouver’s near the top of the list.

“Dmitry, all of the vets know for sure,” Gabe says. “Pretty much everyone who’s been here since before this season. I think the entire roster has figured out he’s my boyfriend. We’re not shouting it from the rooftops or anything, because the media—” he makes a face Jared wholly agrees with, “— but we’re not hiding it from the team.”

Stephen routinely hosting wine parties for the WAGs is a pretty big tell, there.

“I don’t think they’d be adopting my husband any time soon,” Jared says before he can stop himself.

“Stephen’s like the grumpiest person alive sometimes, if they adopted him I’m sure your husband will be part of the crew in a day,” Gabe says.

Yeah, he'll do okay.

“I told him you guys have the same sense of humour and view of the world and stuff,” Gabe says.

Jared is no less confused, and now he’s kind of curious what Gabe thinks Jared’s sense of humour and view of the world is.

“Like —” Jared says finally. “Snide? And — cynical? Or—”

“Yeah, he’s going to love you,” Gabe says with a laugh.

A minion of his very own?! Gabe, you shouldn't have!

Schmid’s in the shower when Jared gets back, and who knows when he got in it, how long that’ll last, but he’s a bathroom hog, takes forever with his whole grooming thing — Jared has no clue what takes so long, dude always looks unkempt, but maybe that’s a purposeful look? — so Jared’s probably safe.

Poor Schmid doing nothing but minding his own business in the proximity of the most judgmental man alive.

And that’s on top of Jared getting to play for Bryce’s childhood team, to live in his childhood home with Bryce’s mom. Jared’s pretty much living the life Bryce would have wanted growing up. Except not even, because Jared’s probably living the life Bryce would never have dreamt he could have possibly have when he was growing up. And there wasn’t a hint of resentment in Bryce’s voice when he told Jared he was happy for him.

“I love you, you know that?” Jared asks.

“I know,” Bryce says, which Jared needs to hear more than ‘I love you too’ right now, though Bryce says it immediately after, because he’s Bryce.

Bryce <3

“Chaz could come, it could be like,” Bryce says. “Chill. Like, we could grab drinks or dinner or something somewhere. Maybe not like — I don’t know if I’d be ready for him to like, know who we are to each other, not when I don’t actually know him, but like — meeting him’s the first step, you know?”

Chaz will not find this chill. Chaz will find this the opposite of chill, in fact.

“Because I’m snide and cynical,” Jared says. It maybe comes out a little snidely, because seriously, how is Bryce still confused.

“No you aren’t,” Bryce says.

“Bryce,” Jared says.

“But like in a good way!” Bryce protests. “I like it from you!”

<333333 Bryce

Though it’s faintly worrying that Gabe picked up on those things within weeks of meeting him, especially because Jared has been on his best behaviour the whole time. Apparently Jared’s best behaviour’s still noticeably snide.

Such a lack of self-knowledge. And actual good behaviour. Jared is admirably true to himself, though!

#liveblogging the end

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msfcatlover · 1 year

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You’re all going to be seeing these back to back (thank you queue,) but I wrote the Star Sapphire Damian post last week and have been doing more research on the corps. And honestly, I like it even better now?

First of all, ever since I found out how Lantern rings work (that is, being drawn towards the entities most filled with/fueled by/capable of inspiring the emotion the ring represents,) I’ve been really curious about what happens if someone doesn’t agree with the main philosophy of the corps, but the ring was drawn to them anyway. Because the Green Lantern ring only cares about strength of willpower, but the Green Lantern Corps is a political faction with its own rules, principles, etc. What if someone had one of the strongest wills in the multiverse but when they find out about all the other stuff they’re just like, “Nah. I’m good.” …I mean, in the case of the Green Lanterns, I’m sure they all team up to take that person down and take back the ring. But literally what is stopping the ring from just flying back to that person? Or one of the other rings just flying about? And some of the other corps seem to place a much higher value on their core emotion than the rules they have in place, so would they let that person keep a ring that had decided that person was worthy even if that person wouldn’t follow their rules? (I am 100% certain this has been addressed in the comics at some point, but I don’t know where to even start to look for it.)

What I’m saying is: Damian doesn’t have to agree with the Star Sapphires’ policies as an organization to get the powers. Which is good, because Damian definitely would not be down for the whole brainwash-recruitment strategy. But he is still full of love & loss, he’s still driven by it, he’s still willing to make huge sacrifices for the sake of those he loves (case in point: as far as Damian’s concerned, none of his family even know he exists at this point in time, and by pursuing such a dramatically different path Damian can never recover even a facsimile of those relationships—the context is just too different, there’s no way they’ll ever see/treat him the same way they did before.) (Which is just some delicious dramatic irony. Especially because I get to reward Damian with people who did live through many of those things with him, and who care about him & understand him the very way he thought he was giving up forever. Much more damaged, scarred, and emotionally shredded versions of those people, but those people all the same. Who will be just as happy to see Damian as he is to see them, because each & every one of them lost him before and probably thought they had again when they found out the League was burning & Damian was fully MIA.)

BACK ON TOPIC! Damian is filled with love & loss, and could absolutely draw in a Violet Lantern ring. And the Sapphires seem to be one of those corps who care more about the purity & power of the emotion felt rather than the rules they follow, so there is a solid argument for them letting him keep it. And it would give Damian the equipment to personally stop the invasion, because he could force the generic Evil Alien Overlord to experience all the pain they made Damian go through. Not in a brainwashy way, but more in a, “Let me help you make a more informed decision by showing you what you actually do to people in your quest for conquest. Let’s see if you still want to pursue the same path after witnessing the other side,” sort of way. (Is that more of a compassion thing? Yeah, but you can’t tell me the Sapphires can force feelings of love into people to bend their wills and not expect me to believe they can make them feel other emotions tied to love, especially when having loved & lost is one of the things the rings prioritize.)

This requires me to make the non-green Lantern corps a much longer-standing thing than they canonically are, but fuck it, that’s a retcon that should’ve been made long ago; it does not make sense for the Green Lanterns to be this centuries-old organization and all the other (supposedly equally powerful & important) emotions only getting rings & corps in the most modern last few years. Plus, it means Earth’s primary Violet Lantern would be a very, very small child, and I think that’s hilarious. He’s gonna adopt Dex-Starr, and then they’ll both make Hal Jordon look like somehow the least competent Earth representative.

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22degreehalo · 2 months

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And so one unintended side-effect of my very... multifandomness (and also tiredness??) this year has been that I'm reading way more fanfic than I usually would be! And I have decided to embrace that haha <3 so I've joined up with the Summer Fic Reading Challenge over at @ficreadingchallenge !

Above you can see my card; as you can see, I've already started ticking things off! I'll list the reviews I've already made now, and then elaborate a bit more on what I plan to do beneath the cut! :)

Soulmates Keep Your Head Up, My Child by Addmon (2.9k, Zuko/Aang) I really love when Soulmate fics add a wrinkle to the canon plot, and this does that perfectly! It makes perfect sense that Zuko and Aang wouldn’t immediately know that they’re each other’s soulmates given that in this universe, the word is written in the speaker’s script, but it’s clear enough that Aang’s is from the Fire Nation and Zuko’s is… something very unique, haha. And it’s structured really well, a nice collection of scenes that are just long enough to get their point across.

New (To You) Fandom work it out with your fingers by Saintsideways (3k, Jim/Bart) This fic is just actually, unfairly good. Blazing Saddles has such a uniquely distinctive sense of style, but this fic captures it perfectly, from the breezy homoeroticism to the nonchalant fourth-wall breaks. A perfect epilogue for the movie!

Under the Influence Just One Taste by Random_Nexus (3.8, Jeeves/Wooster) This is just such a sweet fic. <3 It feels very in-character for them (it’d certainly take a lot to get Jeeves to admit how he feels!), and the pining is very delicious <3

De-Aging/Kidfic Never Been Kissed by Randodoggo (4.7k, Phoenix/Edgeworth) This is so adorable – perfect kidfic!! I love love live how adorably earnest and dorky and slightly annoying kid Edgeworth is, so desperate to be a Good Defence Attorney and uphold the law like his daddy~ And the specific shippiness is so perfect for their ages, haha – and I can only imagine how those two’ll feel looking back on these memories. :’D (But also… off owie the dramatic irony of how happy Miles and Gregory are hurts :’((( )

Only One Bed [podfic of] Touch Therapy by Nomad by OReily42 (58 minutes/10.4k, House/Wilson) I’m honestly shocked I never read this one back in the day when I had my House phase: I sure read enough House/Wilson fics, and this one’s sure popular enough! And for good reason – despite being tagged a ficlet collection, the vignette nature of it really works well to capture these everyday moments between them, making the slow progression of their relationship feel really natural! And the podfic reading was perfect: I sometimes feel self-conscious with these things haha but I honestly got so immersed I didn’t even think about it!

So... as you can see, I am not sticking to one fandom here at all. :'D I'm not even committing to using a different fandom/ship for each square like I usually would with things like this. I really do just want this to be about like... giving me just a little more structure for looking for fics.

This is probably a bit weird, haha, but I've never really been able to relate to those 'I don't want AO3 to have an algorithm, I want it to give me Exactly what I have searched for' posts. To be honest, the sheer amount of possibilities on AO3 has always been a bit overwhelming when it comes to actually looking for fic! (Unless I'm just trying out a new ship and want to survey the field.) Maybe it's because I grew up relying on rec lists and the like? But rec listing just isn't really done nearly as much in current fandom, and that's a whole other post topic haha...

BUT. Though I might know that I like, say, Secret Relationship fic? It usually wouldn't occur to me to search for it like that! But then if I just search by ship, there's so much... And what ship should I even search by?! I am a very indecisive person hahahaha... And I've gotten too much in a habit of like Collecting fics by going through tags and saving them and then never reading them because hhhhh what if there's Another fic I would enjoy more...???

SO. Now, I can pick a trope and think about what ships would fit it and look that right up!!! tl;dr: gameification works. :) And it already has worked on me!!

Also probably-obvious clarification: I'm only reccing for this challenge fics that I actually enjoyed enough to rec. I've also gotten into a habit lately of feeling Guilty when I drop a fic because who am I to judge?? And what about the poor author??? But. I do not have a moral obligation to consume art I'm not into!!!!! And isn't that the whole point of art? Connection? So what if a fic doesn't work for me! I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who will love it!!!! So this is another Reminder Catch: would I be happy to rec this for the challenge? And if not, ehh, maybe I should just cut my losses and try something else.

Onto the prompts!!!

Since it's just a casual challenge, the list of prompts was pretty small; I definitely think it could grow if it's repeated, which ofc I would like it to! :) I did try not to blacklist too many prompts for that reason, so there are a few on there that I wouldn't normally seek out.

In particular, having Time Travel and Time Loop (and right next to each other, if I cared to do bingos!!), and also Space AU and Future AU...... yeah, I think I'll have to interpret Future AU as more of like a post-canon AU sort of thing, hahaha. Would a Modern Day AU of a historical setting count as a Future AU? Though I sorta dislike those on principle... but sometimes they're unavoidable...... hrmhrmhrm.

ANYWAY I started with the prompts that immediately made me curious: gave me fandoms/ships that burst out at me, thinking they'd work well. (Apart from Only One Bed which I technically read before the challenge but shhhhh it's a great fic so I wanted it to still count!!) I've also been combing through the tags of some of the other squares, mainly for the difficult ones like Take Your Fandom To Work AU.

But some of them are going to be simple. I already have two half-read fics which slot neatly into Angst and Hurt/Comfort, though... obviously those are very broad, hahahaha. For BIPOC character I'll probably look up some more Nandor/Guillermo (tho there are plenty of other options), and Author's Oldest Fic would've been intimidating if I hadn't recently been looking up some LJ-era ships like House/Wilson and the 2009 Sherlock Holmes verse, some of which have been retroactively uploaded to AO3 and usually are in fact earliest on their author's lists.

Whump will be interesting since I've had an interest in the trope recently but have read very little of it yet. Meanwhile Rarepair could cover many of my ships... and those ships will also probably offer up a few No Comments fics, too. :') Canon Compliant is interesting since I mostly tend to read fics like that anyway? So I'll try to find something especially fitting for it, like a Missing Scene maybe, or just something that flows directly from the finale (Roy/Jamie/Keeley would be perfect). Gift Giving is surprisingly turning out to be a difficult one just because it's not really a commonly-used AO3 tag and I don't tend to go for pure fluff... But we'll see!!

ANYWAY I'm super excited to get going, and even just coming up with what ships might work well with each of these tags has already been really fun :'D

#summer fic reading challenge #sfrc 2024 #sfrc 22degreehalo

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wafflesfromtheuniverse · 9 months

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birthday posting

i had some intresting talk w them in the past few days

they dont celebrate christmas anymore

i dont belive in god, they do, so weirdly enough it should hurt them more if u were to go off just by this information

i wouldnt say im hurt anymore

but is was

for atleast a year or two

i was always saying chirstmas is overrated, i dont like it, capitalism this, capitalism that

then i guess i was a clown for being hurt not having somehting i "despised" so much

because i didnt like christmas

i liked giving gifts, i always did

i didnt like christmas but i liked taking a break

i did not like christmas but i liked the fact that some people actually tried to be nicer atleast in those few weeks before the event

i didnt like christmas for the advertisements, i hated christmas for the sappy clichés, for everything fake

i didnt like how many people around christmas time told me how to love someone

still it hurt when mom said there will be no more christmas at home

i mean they said they wont, what i do is obviosly my choice

but really it just mean i have no one to celebrate with

and what hurt was that, i wouldve been fine with it if there was anything else here

but like i said before, my family isnt really behaving like one (?)

i thought it was my emo teenager self thinking that for a long time but, mum said something similar

that we dont behave how a family should be

we dont talk much

we talk obviously everyday but we dont t a l k

i kind of blame that on the fact that we are really different

i dont belive in things they belive in, and nowadays their whole world is built around their beliefs

if i could talk about softer topics with them i would

but in the end everything ends up with god in their mind

no matter where i try to drive the convo to keep it going, it somehow always ends up there

in the past few days it was kind of better, i gave them a gift on the 21st and told my mom to accept it for me, im not giving it because of christmas

i didnt say a ord to my dad just left the stuff on his desk

i had a "fight" (id rather say disagreement, because it was not aggressive in any way) with my mom about this on the phone that day

i was scared my dad would not accept or somehting, not even scared, better word is uncomfortbale

guess what he was happy

i feel like my mom overdramatizes a lot of things and all that fucking stress murders me for nothing

today too

its my birthday, i got a cake in the morning like always, and it was delicious like always

i was kinda out of it because i just woke up so i didnt talk much but i was happy, i thanked them for the gifts i got and sat down to eat with them

i dont want to get into details but the whole thing started out of the fact that we didnt have the kind of milk i use for coffee, and i asked if theres any

mom somehow already looked snappy

the whole conversation spiraled from there

later on the day i thought we solved it by having smaller talks

but shes on and off with me today all fucking day

and somehow im more sensitive about it

i always feel irony in her voice, this passive aggressive shit, and if i bring it up "its just you", somehow its my faulth

im so fucking tired

today i honestly didnt do anything because i felt like, on my birthday i could do that without a single guilty thought

but the way she spoke to me whenever she looked into my room felt like she had a problem with me again

i dont know

i know im sensitive about this, but i cant help it, she can be extremely cold, and its my birthday

i wanted it to be calm

i just dont feel

i dont feel love coming from her at times like this

like none

i feel like a problem, a burden

im trying to be stronger but its hard

christmas was something when i felt love, calmness around me, and thats what i liked about it, i did not give a shit about how we decorated it

but even that is gone too

and i feel like its a rare occasion when i feel loved

im fucking tired

i have little motivation wich makes me lazy, wich makes me feel kind of lesser again

im fighting tho

its hard

but im not giving up obviously

i cant, not yet

i just wish my mom could be softer, more understanding

i realized in this home that i crave love like crazy, but

somtimes it makes me uncomfortable when i recieve it

i guess some forms of love are rarely experienced by me so its strange, cringey when i get it

but i try to remind myself to everything i get

the fact that they got me a cake, and hugged me in the morning

that was nice atleast

yeah i have to

i have to calm myself

and remember when i get love

welp this got longer than it was meant to be

my mom opened the door on me, i told her not to come in but she did anyways, said she thought i said she can

(i dont want to blame her but i said it like 3-4 times to please not come in, and i know her brain just literally skips trough it, we talked about this before, she said she will try but this was fucking shitty timing)

i was crying, idk if she saw it or realized

i kinda hope not

its okay tho bc im done w my birthday cry atleast lol

these updates are always shitty lol but, i have to remind my future self that im only posting the shitty selfreflection times

like i have not posted about how i met up w 2 of my close friends yesterday, made a bunch of photos with 2 shitty digital cameras (mine's screen is literally in negativ and has these strikes on the screen, so u cant see how the pics actually turn out until its on ur phone/pc lol) smoked a bunch because we're unhealthy like that, went to a christmas fair and left quicly bc everything was expensive and it was cold. even the snow started falling wich is like really rare in this region in this time of the year

so we had a white christmas

i think i hear me mom talk about how sensitive i am

i didnt even do anything except cried and wrote my shit out in peace

but now thats a problem too, because she knows i was sad bc of her

im already over it, or i would be but i just fucking hope she doesnt want to talk about this more, because that would be more hurtful than useful, if we look at the fact that shes deadset on defending herself even if i wouldnt say anything about her

whatever

im older w one year

im 22 rn

im kinda lost in life

but thats nothing new so

i just have to power trough it

i actually did better this year

i read back a lot of posts i left in here and

i am making progress

kinda really slow but

its progress

so yeah peace out or some cool way to say goodbye here

#journal entry #angst lol #birthday posting #mom issues i guess but i refuse to say mommy issues because that sounds fucking gross ngl

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edgelordfucker · 2 years

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Wait omg what would reader and Belos dress as for Halloween

I feel like Belos would either go really simple or not dress up at all (being puritan and whatnot probably doing this for reader)

Reader would do a sexy costume but not like a simple one where you stick on some cat ears and whiskers put on lingerie and call yourself a cat (I honestly think she would do like a sexy witch or devil costume because…the irony)

MDNI - Minors Do Not Interact

CW: slight cheating mentioned, voyeurism, stalking, dysfunctional/abusive relationships

(this is honestly really fluffy, but I'm mentioning those things just in case!)

Hi, anon! This has become the "Mors throws up about Behlip and Halloween, because she's been fucking DYING to do so" hour. Thank you for your service!

(this is also taking place in my 'Caleb is alive in the human realm' AU)

Philip (because I imagine that, while the Isles probably has a similar holiday, it doesn't have that je ne sais quoi that the human version does, so the two of you really only celebrate it properly when you cross back over, and the Belos shoe has dropped) isn't thrilled about Halloween, but he hates the Catholics more than he doesn't care for it, and the idea that their All-Saint's-Day has become fully secular and totally divorced from the remembrance of their martyrs fills him with a sense of schadenfreude so complete and delicious that he's absolutely down to get fucking silly on some pumpkins and bats and vampires, or whatever, especially because it's your favorite holiday.

(but he is a full on curmudgeon about Christmas)

((until it comes time to decorate, because he has strong opinions about How Things Should Look))

((and when there’s mistletoe))

((or hot chocolate))

((or cookies))

Halloween in your household starts at about the beginning of July, when the very first end-caps in the HomeGoods are starting to sprout cheap plastic pumpkins, generally kicked off like so:

"Oh, fuck me," you sigh, watching the glittering fountain of sparks fly out of the cardboard tube from a safe distance, elegantly holding the punk between two fingers like a cigarette holder with one hand, the other fisted at your waist, "I can't believe it's July." There's a beat as you consider this. "Time is a flat circle."

Philip chuckles, carefully hooking his arm around you to pull you close so that he can lean down to kiss the top of your head. "It slips you, that's true."

"It's almost Halloween."

"It really isn't."

"It's like, what, one-hundred and eighty days until Halloween? That's basically Halloween." He knows that number is wrong, and does a quick calculation.

"One-hundred and nineteen."

"How do you know that?" The way you say it is playfully accusatory. "Like, off the top of your head?"

"I didn't.” You snort.

"Okay, mister math wizard, suck-" Sotto voce, so you're not overheard, "suck my dick." He exhales in amusement, prepared to shoot back, but there's movement in the corner of his eye.

A moment of silence passes as the two of you watch as Gus quickly approaches, lights, and gets clear of the fountain-style firework set up on the wide concrete driveway, Hunter standing tensely a few feet away, poised like he’s ready to shield his friend with his body at the suggestion of something going wrong.

It goes off smoothly in a shower of white gold sparks, lighting up the encroaching blue-gray gloom of Summertime twilight.

“Oh, that’s pretty,” you breathe. He hums in agreement, fascinated. Philip had heard tales of these as a little boy from Caleb, who had been born in England and seen a display himself, and he’d always dreamed of the spiraling lights and colored rockets from his brother's stories, eventually inventing a version of them with the material he’d had available to him during his campaign on the Isles.

Nowadays, they were common and inexpensive - Caleb had purchased enough to fill the bed of his truck to celebrate the Fourth, and the children were setting off the smaller ones before it was time to travel to the park to see the Gravesfield display, and then back to your home to light the big ones.

“It's simple math,” he finishes, when the sparks finally stop.

"I would call calendar math unsimple math, actually."

"It's really very easy," he disagrees, "you add the months from the first of January to the thirty-first of October, and then you add the months from the first of January to today, the fourth, and subtract January-to-October from July-to-October, which is three-hundred and four less one-hundred and eighty-five, leaving one-hundred and nineteen." He shrugs. "Simple math,” he repeats.

”It’s honestly really impressive that you can do that without, like, paper, or something.” You say the words with that crooked grin. Philip feels a little swell of pride in the middle of his chest, and he hums in humble acceptance of your praise, giving you a squeeze.

“Thank you.”

"What do you want to be this year?” You bounce subtly at his side, already unable to contain your enthusiasm. It’s very cute. He valiantly resists the urge to eat up that lovely grin, something that would surely draw boos from the assorted teens - as little as Mrs. Noceda liked having ‘her kids’ anywhere near him, she was very practical, accepting the support that you and Caleb offered when it came to their care, and she allowed them to come over, especially when you were throwing a party, like the one tonight. “We should probably start thinking about it now... Oo!" You glance up at him, eyes bright. "Dracula! You make a sexy vampire." He's pleased by the compliment.

"Weren't we Dracula and his bride last year?"

"You could be a different Dracula this year. Frankenstein? You would actually be a really good Frankenstein. You're already a-" You stop suddenly, and in that heartbeat, he cuts in, dry as bleached bone.

"Green?" The curse is mostly under control, and he hides it away when he's in mixed company, but it's a better use of his energy to leave the evidence of it when it won't cause any uncomfortable questions, like right now, at home.

Pivoting like a dancer, you ignore him and continue, "-very tall, you wouldn't need the platforms-"

He adds, "And minimal make-up."

"I didn't- I'm enjoying July,” you bluster, trying not to laugh. “It's nice, there are lightning bugs, fireworks. Plain fire." You vaguely indicate the fire-pit with it's crackling flames, where Luz and Willow are setting up things to make ‘s’mores’, Mrs. Noceda supervising the boys from one of the camping chairs set up in a semi-circle around the pit with a red plastic cup in her hand. She gives you a light cheers with it when she notices your glance, and you wave back, a little shyly. Philip chooses to ignore the way you absently nibble your lower lip.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Wittebane?” You grimace. Amity approaches a little stiffly with a couple of long gray sticks in her hand.

“You can just call me-”

Bang!

Philip goes very still at the sound, relaxing when he realizes that it was just a firecracker.

“Anyways, what’s up? Need a light?”

“Yes please, Mrs-” Bang! Amity’s lips shape your first name instead of your married one, and you seem to take that as a victory, not bothering to ask her to drop the ‘Mrs.’ as well.

”Here ya go!” You hold the punk out for her to touch the tips of her sticks to, and then she takes a swift step back when they burst into sparkles.

“Thank you!” she calls, jogging over to where the basilisk - Vee - stands, gingerly holding one of them out for it - her - he really is trying, honestly - to take.

“For sure, darlin’!” You watch them with a look of quiet joy as they trace shapes in the air together, leaving trails of light in their wake.

Philip kisses his teeth in pleasure as an suddenly idea hits him, drawing your attention. "Jareth and Sarah?" he posits.

You gasp softly, and he grins in response to the smile you give him. "Oh, that's so good!" And then, brows furrowed, "oh, that ballgown is going to be a bitch to make." It's contemplative, he can see in your face that you're already coming up with solutions in that rapid, chaotic way you work things through.

"You know," he starts, smoothing his free hand over his chin as he turns the gown over in his mind, "I don't think it's all fabric - the biggest obstacle, I think, would be the sleeves, and if they're some sort of... cellophane?"

"Oh, like those bags you can put gift baskets in?"

"Exactly!"

The two of you spend the rest of the evening workshopping the idea between the festivities and making sure the kids don’t set themselves on fire.

Philip actually really enjoys going through the whole process with you. You insist on making your own costume every year, and he loves spending time doing something challenging and creative together. You both have a strong sense of aesthetic and style, and your combined flair for drama is nearly nuclear.

The two of you will choose a theme - always a couple's costume - and he'll make up some sketches that you'll go back and forth about, picking over samples of fabric and lace and netting until you both are satisfied, and then you'll start on the mock-ups, taking each other's measurements and working together in your sewing room - he has a talent for hand-sewing, and you tend to work best on the machine. Most of the fun comes from the problem solving, and the time you spend together, but the final product is just the perfect finishing touch, a tangible reminder of all of the memories you’ve created.

Day of, you're helping each other dress and do make-up first thing after breakfast and showering, and you don't take your outfits off for the rest of the day. Halloween is big in Gravesfield, so candid photos of the best dressed are common. There’s sure to be Instagram pics of your costumes - the Phantom and Christine getting coffee, or the Devil and his succubus (he'd very nearly nixed the idea on principle, but WOW had he been popular that year and loved every minute of the attention) on a last minute candy run, or of Lydia and Beetlejuice at the early afternoon trunk-or-treat.

And then there are always the costumes that come out at eleven o'clock, when the last trick-or-treaters are on their way home, and the real fun can start. If you're in the know, you can count on an invitation to some 21+ party going on in Gravesfield, and they get... pretty rowdy.

Philip doesn't partake in those late night costume changes, preferring to wear the ones the two of you make together for their coverage and quality, but you always have a second one hidden away that are, politely put, 'economic' in their use of fabric, that he has come to anticipate and dread, as the first time he sees them are when you're already dressed and descending the stairs to leave for, or, on some years, to join the party.

Witches and devils are absolutely in your evening rotation, but there's also a lot of joy in costumes that are diametric to your usual aesthetic, like a hot pink Barbie in a latex mini-skirt, or a cute little cow with a bell on her collar and a hem that doesn't cover her ass, or a Playboy bunny with a perfect cottontail, or, notably, an angel with fluffy white wings and not much else.

That first human Halloween had ruined angels' wings for him, as a matter of fact. He hadn't been invited to that year's party, exactly - you still had your nose rather out of joint with him at that point - but that costume...

It had been a sinner's vision of how to clothe a heavenly body, all in snow white, a pair of short stays held together at the shoulder with long ribbons, your heavy breasts jiggling ever-so-slightly in the cups with any move you made, this little joke of a chiffon skirt that sat at your natural waist, clearly showing the thong cut panties with decorative ruffles along the high cut hips underneath, all topped off with the most darling pair of feathery wings and a golden halo, and these maddening platform heels, tied to your ankles with yet more ribbon, that he knows are going to look so good pointed straight up in the air when he puts you on your back, pins your knees to the mattress on either side of your chest, and fucking plows you fucking stupid later on that evening.

He still gets this quiet intensity when he thinks about it, an echo of how deeply he had been struck by a twisted version of his hunter's urge to pursue, knowing with a sublime clarity that he would catch you, that it was predetermined that you'd wind up underneath him, no matter what.

Sure, you'd specifically left him at home alone with no means of conveniently getting to where you were going, but he was resourceful, and, moreover, could figure out how to get an Uber, thanks.

It had been concerningly easy to slip into the party unnoticed, dressed in his "witch hunter costume", especially considering how indisposed the people there were, many either drunk, or high, or, ahem, preoccupied, or all three. There were those who were sober to keep an eye on the revelers, but they had been more focused on the people who were already inside the house at that point in the night, and what was one more body added to the crowd, really? Philip had fit right in, propositioned at least three times before he had found you in the living room, on the couch.

Oh, it was agony, catching you in the lap of one of your friends, grinding against their thigh, pressed closed against them, their mouth at your neck, your décolletage, your little white wings bobbing as you circled your waist, their strong fingers digging into your skin and highlighting your softness as they used their grip there to meet your rhythm. Philip had taken a seat in one of the arm chairs a little ways away from you, features obscured by the shifting lights and unnoticed due to your... involvement, to watch.

He had never been so jealous while being so turned on.

Philip was somewhat soothed by your careful avoidance of certain acts. The touching stayed over your clothes, however scarce those were, and you never kissed their mouth, even though it was clear you were dying for the feeling of lips on yours. He wondered if you were thinking about him, wanting him, even in the arms of another person.

Eventually, you'd squirmed in a tell-tale way, and Philip had quietly slunk into the guest bathroom, hiding behind the shower curtain to surprise you while you were washing your hands, and well... It's easy to fill in the blanks. Now that the two of you are on better terms, it's become a yearly game - you, having your fun with anyone and everyone that you'd like, within certain boundaries, until it's too much for him to bear, and he finds a way to give you a little... fright. In the spirit of the holiday, of course.

#belos x reader #emperor belos x reader #toh x reader #philip wittebane x reader #replies #my stuff

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andoqin · 2 years

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Love like the galaxy -thought collection

So after watching the last eps in a mad rush before I fell asleep, I've now had time to digest my screaming and crying and just want to put them down.

Warning for spoilers!!! Also this turned out very long, sorry not sorry

So first things first: I am really satisfied with the way the show ended and that's not something that often happens.

Was it a bit rushed? Yes in the last 5 eps, but it looks to me like they cut out some Yuan Shuanjing things and honestly I don't think that's a bad thing.

Were there a few moments that made me stop and roll my eyes? Also yes, but it was a handful of moments at most and what I needed the show to do and what it did give me was the emotional catharsis for our main leads.

Anyway time to start talking about the climax of this show aka Bloody Vengeance finally fulfilled.

Ling Buyi is at the end of his rope after Peng Kun has died of an asthma attack in prison, the last lead he could find to properly punish his Unfather gone. So he does the one thing left to a boy who's spent the last 15 years of his life in a haze of trauma and violence. He confronts his Unfather at the eve of his wedding, and starts a slaughter and my god the way this was filmed, scored and acted. Just master class from everyone around!!!

When he finally says his name out loud, after not having been able to confess it to NiaoNiao time after time and he is just covered in blood, some his own but most of it from the dozens of people around him I had shivers.

I've had discussions with @dangermousie of actors in c-ent, who can believably play someone who is actually feral *and dangerous* and especially among the younger ones that ability seems quite rare. Before this show I definitely would not have counted Wu Lei among them (esp after The Long Ballad where I found him to be singularly unengaging), but my god he can act his socks off.

Niaoniao arrives just after the slaughter is done and although LBY tries to brush her off, he wouldn't have fallen for her if she didn't dry her tears and then went to save her man, come what may. Because for all of NNs faults (and there are many! I love the girl but she is not the easiest person) once she counts someone among her people she will go with them to the ends of the earth. Or a cliff in their case.

And I love love love that NN can ignore him not telling her about his plans and taking the revenge on by himself. It hurts her, but in this moment nothing matters beyond saving LBY. But then LBY does the one thing she can never forgive, he swandives off the cliff, understandably to save her, but NNs abandonment issues are one of her biggest weaknesses, so this is the moment that breaks her.

Gotta say I can't blame her, because she was willing to overlook so much for him, but she'd rather die than be alone again. It's the same for him too of course, but their issues about this are different.

The terrible and tragic irony, that it takes NN about 5 minutes to find the evidence that Huo Buyi overlooked, probably because he was blinded by his hate for his uncle and his new wife, so a lot of the future angst could have been avoided if he had been honest, makes it all the worse... and more delicious because wow the angst that was served up was fucking amazing.

When HBY admitted to the emperor that no matter what, he doesn't regret what he did but then can't even bring himself to look at NN as she eviscerates him for doing the worst thing to her - not telling her about his plans and then kind of abandoning her - was so good I was gobbling that shit up with a soup ladle.

Oh!!! And then the empress finally confronting the emperor about the feelings she had kept in her heart for decades was so good for me. The empress honestly turned into one of my favourite characters of the show. Ostensibly she was the confucian ideal wife. Never (openly) jealous, always kind, gave the emperor children (and an erstwhile crown prince) and while their children didn't turn out to be that great at least crown princess biggest flaw is that he's dumb and gullible. In any other rich family this wouldn't have been much of an issue, but sadly in the royal family that's as good as a death warrant.

HBY says as much when he reveals that if he had wanted to he basically could have taken over the country at any point after the emperor died.

Anyway back to the delicious angst: god I loved how both guilty and hopeful HBY was before he left for the border.

One of the core themes of this show has always been characters lying to themselves to justify their own actions, including our mains, but what separates the "good" and "bad" guys here is how they deal with reality once it smacks them in the face. HBYs biggest self-deception was his love for NN and how their future would go, because I'm 100% certain he had basically consigned himself to a suicide mission once he decided on killing his uncle without imperial say so. And yet he couldn't let go of NN beforehand and also didn't manage to confess, despite her giving him *numerous* chances, because the consequences seemed too terrible to him.

Speaking of NN, obviously ZLS didn't get as big a climax as Wu Lei did, but I loved the way she played NN with the ever growing realization that HBY was hiding something big from her and her guessing it and just wanting him to tell her. The way NN just went stiller and stiller as the climax approached then decisive and direct to help him and then afterwards, the way she just slammed all of her walls down. It's a lot more subtle and not doesn't lend itself to as grandiose emotions but ah!! At the very end, when she does let her walls down around HBY again because she can never help herself around him and she starts to turn back into "old" NN, who smiles easily and loves her people, that was so great to see!!

I really liked the way this show managed the separation which for once felt earned and right, these two needed a break and while I hurt for both of them, NN shutting herself away from the world to be with the one maternal figure in her life who only ever showed her kindness and HBY going to use his own life in the only way he really knows, they could let those wounds heal and maybe begin anew.

Now we get to the rushed parts because we do want a happy ending and don't have that much time left. We have the return of one of HBYs thirsty faux-exes who once again drowns herself in self-delusions to justify her own actions and then tries to murder NN when it doesn't work. Falling off a cliff and being saved by ur ex fiancee sure is a way to get to talking again though, so in the end I'm not too mad and it's not like she was in the story for long.

NNs third fiancee is barely a footnote, but I gotta say that's fine with me, I don't need many scenes between them because the end game is close so I'm glad he let her go be herself.

The empress dies and augh that scene killed me because she was one of my favs and then her talk with Yue Heng!! I loved that she doesn't want empress Yue to take care of her family, but wants to make sure that she doesn't die with any grudges between them!!! Women!!!!! In this show!

Then we get the ultimate end with Lou Ben's wife coming back to get some bloody revenge and I gotta say she's one of the few people who did things with clear eyes hahaha, can't even really blame her. Thankfully our babies make it out fine (though HBY magicly surviving was one of those men's that made me go wait did I miss sth) and NN can't really deny it any more, her feelings for HBY are back out in the open.

Also I gotta say I loooove that HBYs lessons for this drama are not "Bloody revenge won't bring you happiness" or sth to that effect, it's "Bloody revenge is fine, as long as you tell your wife about it!" He has learned that lesson well though and now he believes in NN more than anyone so when they are separated he knows she'll be able to handle stuff on her own bc she's smart!!!!

The last evil guy to be a toady of the former emperor who deluded himself into thinking he survived to avenge him (and not bc he was too unimportant to be with him when he died) feels thematically appropriate to the whole show.

Then we get to see them happy and reunited and a lovely shot with the whole Cheng fam (and empy being Angy that they didn’t get married in front of him so it doesnt count. He always was their biggest shipper)

I’ve seen people upset that we didnt get a big wedding, but idk i don’t think that was necessary.

#love like the galaxy #I RAMBLE #A LOT #cdrama

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psianabel · 2 years

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complete jumbled thoughts about Dark Road because holy fuck: Spoilers for like literally everything.

holy shit holy shit holy shit ok so, getting this out of my way,

I'm eating well with Xehanort being a Blueblood LMAO. Called it, love it. The sheer irony of him being a child of destiny and us knowing how his story ends up - delicious.

So many parallels you can draw between Xehanort - Eraqus and Sora - Riku here. In the end Sora is the one who Xehanort should have become and just, goddamn. I'm still on the path of thinking MoM is the reason why this didn't happen, pushing him further into the darkness (talking about love and its false light. man.), then Eraqus leaving him alone and as such, the balance between them destroyed (just as Baldr and his sister),

Baldr eh. Just holy fuck. So i guess he did bring Ragnarok... just not how we expected it to end up lol. Poor boy, oh man. Just. oh man. Oh man.

Bragi hfkdjdodjfofjg GIVE IT UP FOR LUXU REVEAL THREE, congratz to the people who called it episode one, i wasnt one of them lmao jfidjdodg. For me its fucking hilarious now honestly. Luxu please get vessels with not so similar names.

I fucking screamed when Odin summoned Master’s Defender and then called No Name forth, I AM EATING WELL, THESE TWO KEYBLADES MAN. MAN !!!!!! Also extremly interesting how No Name's nature is known, and mannnnnnn him retiring and giving these two keyblades his last two pupils im fucking. h.

KH game with the highest death toll i guess LOL (excluding UX with the keyblade war), my heart already hurt when Hoder died and then THE DEATH DIDNT STOP LIKE HELLO, i actually had to stand up and take a deep breath when Hermod and Urd died like WTF MAN god god god god goodbye i liked u a lot :(

Xehanort having Hoder in his heart got me a lot, just. man. man. There is this small interaction after they are fighting Vidar and Baldr shows up, Xehanort clutches his chest - because Hoder is reacting to Baldr....... its so similar to Sora with Anna and Elsa in KH3 ...... wahhhhhh..... delicious.... just,,, Xehanort and its connections to other people. MAN..

This whole thing with the true Lights is so INTERESTING. Like, they are objects ???? before the Princesses of Heart were a thing... thats so good.

Still wrapping my head around with that summoning of Kingdom Hearts. And ... killing 13 lights for that. god Baldr was so close and it was so so cruel my god. SEEING THEM ALL DIE WAS SO. NAH MAN. NAH. like YEAH WE KNEW THEY WERE ABOUT TO DIE BUT FUCK.

Their names are all soooo interesting. Not going through them all, i just have to mention the heartless that is the final boss has the name of Baldur's ship that carries his dead body in the Norse mythology....... just. oh.

so. the "secret ending". Im fucking yelling at the fact Blue Robe is KHML Player with UX Player reincarnated. just. THIS IS THE PLOT I HAD PREPARED FOR MY PLAYER HELP THIS IS FUCKING FANTASTIC FJDKDBDKFJG also no Player - Xehanort anymore which im, ah well, but Still they have a close connection which is enough for me now i guess -

Baby Xehanort calling Lauriam a skinny boy with pink hair had me laughing so much. like TRUE but dont come for my boy like this ahsjshdodjdkf. I'm kinda :worry: about Skuld's involvement for Xehanort's Mom as i dont really want her .... to have stayed behind ..... but for me to truly accept that I have to see it in ML myself. Still holding onto Subject X, but man,,,,,, Nomura why.

Xehanort saying he wants to have 14 lifetimes has me so c: I really wish for Young Xehanort to return. He should live a life that belongs to him .... i hope he gets to see that. I really want him to hang out with the Guardians of Light...

The whole Underworld thing is going to be so interesting in KH4, because they essentially did the same thing here like Donald and Goofy are trying?? At least we know now that the Underworld is like, universal, for KH worlds. I hope we get to see the upper classmen in some form again.

This game is an emotional rollercoaster that definitely would have worked better if they released these episodes... episodic. This whole ending was Such an Experience.

Just holy crap I am excited for Missing Link.

My mind is mush. I'm dead tired. What a phenomenal experience.

Missing Link, you have so much explaining to do. And goddamn im in for this ride.

#khdr spoilers #kh spoilers #khdr #personal #lying on the floor #processing

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fangirlings-things · 4 years

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Chicago PD Preference: When they first realize they're in love with you

requested by anon || A/N: hope you like it, love 💖 || tag list: @imaginesofyourfandom ; @regalbanshee

Jay Halstead— he would realize he loved you for the first time after you got injured on the job, during an operation that went terribly wrong. He blamed himself deeply for not being there to protect you when he had to, being your partner at Intelligence. He would be scared to death that you wouldn't pull through and he wouldn't even be able to tell you about how he felt. At the end you did manage to survive, and he couldn't even contain his relief when he stood at the door of your room at Med and saw you still asleep from the surgery.

"(Y/N)'s going to be fine" his brother, Will, said as he stood beside Jay at the corridor. He could see it in his brother's eyes just how much he cared for you. "You have nothing to worry about"

"Don't I?" Jay echoed, still a bit under shock as he watched you, eyes not leaving your being for even a second. He seemed to fear you would disappear if he looked away.

"No, you don't" Will placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it tenderly. "Hey" only then, Jay looked at his face. "You will be able to tell (Y/N) how you feel" at that, Jay flashed him a small grateful smile.

The idea of telling you in the future, did excite him.

Adam Ruzek— he would come to terms with his feelings for you one night when he saw someone hitting on you at Molly's. Jealousy would unexpectedly take a deep hold on him and that would make him see that it wasn't just friendship, what you two had. At least, that wasn't all he wanted. He wanted to be with you, to love you. And so, he would make it his goal to have the courage to tell you just how he really felt.

"What happened there?" he asked you with a emotionless expression on his face as he sat at your table, pretending he did not care while referring to the someone who had just walked away from you not looking too happy.

"Didn't feel like it" you shrugged, smiling at him before taking a long sip of your beer. "What about you, Ruzek? Not leaving with anyone tonight?"

Adam smiled before shrugging just like you had done. "No, I'm happy to just spend the night here drinking with you"

You smiled widely and raised your beer in the air. "Well, cheers to that"

Antonio Dawson— he would realize how he felt about it when you comforted him during a really bad case. No other members of the unit had even noticed that it got to him that hard, but you did. When he excused himself and went to the precinct's parking lot, you followed right into his car and just waited. For him to talk, to have the time of silence he needed. Whatever it was that he was going to do to get over it, you wanted him to know that he could count on you. And for him, that mattered more than you could ever imagine.

"We should get back there" he would say after sometime, where you both just stayed there in the silence. He motioned to get out of the car, but you gently grabbed his forearm, making him stop.

"Hey" you waited until he fall back against the seat again and looked at you to continue speaking. "Voight won't care if we are just a few minutes away. We don't have anything new yet"

"That's exactly what worries me" Antonio said in something that was just a little above a whisper, with a heavy sight that put out all of his frustration.

Instead of saying something else you reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly as you watched his face. You gave him a small smile, made him know that you were there, whatever happened. With his heart filled with joy in the middle of that chaos, he was able to smile back at you.

Kevin Atwater— he would realize he had feelings for you unexpectedly, during a day when you showed up a bit late for work because you had stopped by to buy them all donuts and coffee. Your smile as you gave everyone the little gifts, the laughter you let out when Voight wasn't able to hide how much he had liked his coffee, all of that suddenly got to him like a punch in the face. He liked you, a lot. And honestly, he didn't know if he would be able to hide it for too long.

"I was beginning to think you had forgotten me" Kevin said when you got to him, as he leaned against his desk with a smile on his lips just by watching you.

"How could I?" you smiled back at him, while reaching to the inside of the donuts box. "This one is for you" you gave him a apparently delicious cinnamon twist.

"Oh, come on, you do know you are playing with my heart here, right?" he let the words leave his mouth in a rush, before he could even stop himself or rethink the sentence. His tone was filled with irony, but the meaning behind those words... that was quite true.

You smiled, shrugging slightly. "Good"

Hank Voight— he would realize how he felt about you after a very successful case, having just them taken notice of his how good you worked and functioned together. That smoothness that surrounded you both, the way you were both really comfortable around each other and how you did not hesitate to fight him when he was wrong, unlike others, all those things opened his eyes for the fact that what he felt for you was more than just Sargeant affection towards a subordinate.

"This went better than I expected" you said, going to stand by his Hank's side at the sidewalk. Your arms were crossed over your chest as you watched the criminal that just got busted by Intelligence be placed into the patrol car.

"You did good police work, (Y/N)" he smiled, eyes going to the criminal just for seconds later to go back to you. Somehow, his eyes always kept going back to you.

"Thank you, Sarge" you said, almost unable to hide how proud of yourself you were in that moment. Deep down, you tried to not make it a big deal just how much a compliment from him meant to you.

Erin Lindsay— her feelings would finally make sense to her after seeing you with your family one day after shift. She noticed all the love and caring you guys shared and being someone who did not have that kind of love for a great part of her life, it made her happy to see that you had that. You seemed to shine when you where with the people you loved and that made her want to be one of those people, to be able to put that kind of smile on your face just by being there, beside you.

"Hey, Lindsay, you want to join us for dinner?" you asked while having your arm joined with your mother's, a welcoming smile in both of your faces.

"I want her to go!" your little cousin said, while looking up at Erin with those childish, big curious eyes that melted her heart.

When she answered, she was looking directly at you. "I would love that"

Kim Burgess— she would realize how she really felt about you after you spent a whole day together on a lookout, outside a suspect's house, sharing food and talking about the most random things possible while simultaneously, working on the case. The easy conversation, good vibe and the comfort you found in open up to each other would make her have to think hard on how she felt, which would lead to further realization

"Did I tell you about the day me and Adam made a drinking contest against some of the firefighters from firehouse 51 at Molly's?" you asked, right before taking a sip of your orange juice. Your eyes checked the suspect's house, everything was clear.

Kim on the driver's seat, turned her head towards you with a smile on her lips. It amazed her, how you seemed to always have something funny or interest to say. Made her want to hear what you had to say all the time. "You did not, but now you'll have to"

You laughed, then started off, excitedly, while remembering what happened on the said day. "So, me and Adam had been drinking alone for some time and then, Cruz comes along..."

Hailey Upton— she would realize how she felt for you when during an interrogation you two were leading together, you got threatened by the suspect. It would drive her mad, to have that person even thinking about hurting you in any way. The very enraged look they had upon you would make her want to do something reckless or eve stupid, something that would take them away from you. Anything. All that protectiveness and worry, she realized, was not just friendship. Couldn't be.

"I can't believe they had the nerve to threaten you" she said more to herself then to you, when you both walked out of the interrogation room together. The expression on her face was furious. "To say that, to even think about—" she interrupted herself with a heavy sight, looking at everywhere but you.

"It's okay, Hailey, really. I've received worse threats before" you tried to make a bit of a joke to easy the tension, but she was having none of it. You could see the anger and worry in her eyes. "Hey, hey" you touched her shoulder gently, making her stop and look at you. "Everything's fine"

Hailey nodded for a moment and you thought she was going to let it go, but then she walked straight towards you and held you tightly in a hug. You smiled softly, glad for her being so protective. Little did you know, all her feelings for you were now very clear on her mind.

325 notes · View notes

thedevillionaire · 3 years

Text

The Twentieth

Okay. ~5,000 words of Underworldian stuff that happens. Well, primarily one thing, really, but not all at the same time. Sort of. Ask me anything, thank you so very much for reading, and...well, here we go.

--- This was not at all how he’d planned for the day of their anniversary to unfold.

In the back of his mind, in corners he’d quite deliberately not lingered for a moment longer than absolutely necessary, he’d known that trouble was possibly oncoming as early as the night before last, the descending fog of nascent illness as recognisable as it was unwelcome. But it had been…at least a year, perhaps close to two, since he’d last felt this way, and he was hoping that he was wrong, and that what were seeming like potential signs of bad news weren’t actually signs at all.

They were.

Cerberus sniffled.

It wasn’t supposed to go like this. He’d tried, he really had. Discounting those signs as unimportant even as he took precautions because of them, he’d risked nothing, pushed his luck with nothing. He’d even gone to bed several hours earlier than usual last night, and fallen asleep almost immediately on top of that. Unlike his bonded, who’d had a late night and come home at some uncertain hour from one of those social catch-up things she so enjoyed that he was…less inclined towards, even in times when he was feeling entirely well – not that he’d given that as the reason for his disinclination to participate, of course.

Hardly relevant, anyway.

And he’d slept soundly enough that he’d not woken to notice her join him – in fact, he’d been so sapped of energy that from the moment the warmth of the hearth and bedcovers enveloped him, he was out – which just made it all the more ominous that he’d woken feeling like he’d got no rest at all, bone-tired as if no respite had been granted, with a constant, dull headache that so far had refused to resolve, and yesterday’s mild discomfort at the back of his throat sharpening significantly into an active and intrusive concern.

Getting caught in that ridiculous downpour on the way here wouldn’t have helped matters either, he thought bitterly. Although brief, it had been intense, and sudden, and heavy, and though the mercy of Teleport could not have been a more welcome escape, the short time spent in headblurry indecision about whether or not he should utilise it had nonetheless been long enough that his coat had been soaked through. The refuge of the radiant heat of his Office was helping somewhat, at least, and most of his clothing had dried by now – though his hair, which he’d tied back with a loose bow of slender black velvet ribbon to keep errant strands from his face, was still noticeably and uncomfortably damp against his neck. Less so than had he left it unbound, but still…

If he’d ever regretted choosing to walk rather than taking the lazy option before – gods, the damn irony of thinking that the walk would possibly benefit him tonight, of all things – he was sure he’d not regretted it as much as he did right now.

He sniffled again.

Fuck.

---

Closing the folder of Requiem’s surprisingly competently done assignment, he sighed and added it to the small stack of completed works, vaguely wondering if he’d been too generous with the grading. Although he knew the content backwards and could in fact get away with paying very little serious attention, his mind was nevertheless, for the most part, almost entirely on other things.

This was supposed to be the night where, once respective regular mundanities and commitments were out of the way, he would take his beloved to indulge in whichever of the things she most loved to indulge in while on a Visit, utterly at her behest, and completely guilt-free for her with no mandated set goal to achieve, no limitations on immersion, no regulations at all; just an unscheduled and spontaneous trip to the mortal plane, a high-end cocktail bar all dress codes and decadence, and a veritable array of delicious, oblivious Takings there for her pleasure – ahh, darkling, a smorgasbord! – all eyes upon her because nobody, not in the Underworld and certainly no mortal, can compare, and despite his usual personal antipathy towards bothering with the mortal realm, he knew of certain excellences all the same, and he’d put his own preferences aside and simply present her with the glories and spoils she deserved, watch her dance from the shadows and delight in it.

Darkling, I will give you the world.

He’d had every intention of doing precisely that.

And it was also really starting to feel like he was definitely not going to…not going to let this happen, damn it. You’ll be fine, stop putting unnecessary emphasis on transient discomfort, it’s nothing, you know these things pass, just…

He sniffled again, more sharply this time, claimed another tissue and blew his nose, trying to disregard how doing so did nothing much to stop the continuing drip and irritation.

Just get on with it. Honestly. Vaporising the tissue, he took another sip of the honeyed tea that wasn’t doing nearly as much to counteract the sting in his throat as he’d hoped it would, and returned his attention to the job at hand. He noted with distaste as he opened the new folder that yet again it seemed that Hellion hadn’t bothered to proofread the simplest of…

Oh gods.

His breath caught, thoughts ceased, focus helplessly crumbling.

“Hh-hh…”

He rolled his eyes at the inevitability of it, and grabbed another tissue, and another, as the insistent need made itself unstoppably and urgently known.

“Hh-TSCHH-uu! *snff!* Huh-TSSCHH-uu!”

Therion, across the room and in the midst of cataloguing a stupidly confusing array of recently rediscovered and yet unsorted secondgen scrolls, glanced back over his shoulder at Cerberus briefly. “Gesundheit,” he commented offhand, not remotely surprised by this development. Given the constant sniffling that had been going on for the last couple of hours or so, he’d pretty much been expecting that to happen sooner or later. No matter how infrequently the Demon king may catch cold, symptoms were symptoms. Sounding like shit there, boss, he thought, but decided against voicing it.

Cerberus managed a quick thankyou before the demanding urge once again overtook him, and he inhaled deeply, desperately, the force of the sneeze almost doubling him over.

“hhh-AHHTSSCHHUU!”

Therion glanced over again. “You okay, man?”

Cerberus, with a strong sniffle, cleared his throat and made an incidental sound of dismissal. “Mm, fine,” he murmured, which he knew at this point was a complete lie, his head pounding. “Pardon me.” He blew his nose, sniffling again immediately. Ugh. “It’s, um…it’s nothing.”

He returned his attention to Hellion’s paper.

It was, however, no matter his assurance, becoming undeniably something.

Fuck.

---

The hours had somehow simultaneously dragged and flown by, some goals achieved, others – and, to be honest, the ones he’d most been counting on – unfortunately not so.

Cerberus sighed heavily, put aside the last of the assignments he’d reviewed, and, having had quite enough of honeyed tea for one day, poured himself a substantial glass of cognac from the decanter on his desk.

On the plus side, he’d got through a decent amount of the papers, all things considered. On the minus, though, his oncoming cold, rather than resolving into the insignificance he’d hoped for, had instead settled in undeniably, pouring into his head like cement, and he pressed the back of his hand firmly against his nose with enough force for pain to overtake irritation. He vaporised yet another bunch of used tissues, sniffling again, and tried to take his mind off Kia and what she might be thinking, expecting, dreaming, anticipating…

..and what he feared he was not going be able to deliver.

Acceptance of such, however, was still not something he was willing to entertain quite yet.

Damn it, it’s one night. Surely you can at least delay this ridiculousness for one more night. With a lengthy, determined sniffle and heavy exhalation, Cerberus, elbow on desk and hand against forehead, lost himself in a mix of annoyance and self-pity for a moment before an intense rising fury at the situation overtook it, and he frowned, sat up straighter, and drained the glass of cognac entirely.

Do. Better.

With a brief shake of his head, he rubbed his nose and opened the next assignment in the pile, read the name. Ah, Cenotaph, he noted with a slight satisfaction. Shouldn’t be dreadful. Although he nearly always…

His thoughts were jarringly interrupted by the intrusive ring of the telephone, and despite him dearly wishing he could palm this off to Therion, the phone was on the desk, and proximity demanded he be the one to answer. And to make matters worse – apparently that’s possible, and of course it is – he could feel the rising, inexorable need to sneeze again.

No. This is not happening. Just… The idea of being defeated by such a simple, base physical weakness infuriating, he sniffled with sharp determination, crushing a hand clutching a tissue against his nose, and answered the call.

“Demonics.”

Aera took a moment. “Cerbie? Okay, wow. What are you doing in Office?”

I…work here? Cerberus couldn’t quite parse what her intention was, what sort of answer she was expecting. Was that rhetorical, or…? “I don’t… What do you…” He sniffled again, his breath catching momentarily, but he fought the urge back once more, and tried to concentrate on the matter at hand. “What?”

“‘Debodics’,” Aera said in mimicry of the congestion destroying his consonants, her tone flippant and biting at the same time.

Frowning in annoyance, his patience worn thin enough as it was, and in no mood to engage, Cerberus snarled a curt, “I’m fine,” and wiped his nose.

Aera scoffed. “You’re seriously going the denial route? Hate to break it to you, but you sure don’t sound fine.”

“Do you have a point?” Cerberus asked tersely, internally cursing his inability to comprehensively prove her wrong – not that she was necessarily wrong, but that was hardly the issue.

“Godssake, Cerbie, you’re such a…” Aera began, but recognised she was probably wasting her time and decided to just let it go. She knew his pattern with this sort of thing, and so she backed off a little – though by no means completely. “Okay, fine, alright, I could be wrong, maybe you’re not sick after all. So, you know, if you’ve been crying or punched in the face or something, go right ahead and clear that up for me.”

Cerberus, exasperated and increasingly distracted, just wanted an end to it all. “Damn it, Aera, can you please try to tear yourself away from the apparently fascinating state of my health for a moment and just tell me what the hell it is you want? *snf!* And you could be a bit more pleasant to me, you know,” he added pointedly. “It is my anniversary, after all.”

Aera gasped lightly in realisation, the date having escaped her notice completely. “Oh, shit, it is too! Ah, fuck, sorry, happy anniversary. But, no, anyway, this call does actually have a point. I think I might have left a scarf in your Office yesterday. Do you have it? It’s blue.”

You couldn’t have just asked that immediately? Cerberus glanced around the Office perfunctorily, not seeing anything of the kind. “N…” His breath caught again and he scrubbed his hand roughly under his nose, sniffling sharply, and took a moment before trusting himself enough to answer her. “No.”

“Really? What the hell have I done with it, then?” Aera wondered, partially to Cerberus but mostly to herself, before returning her attention to the conversation at hand. “Oh, and bless you.”

“What?” Cerberus frowned in confusion, his head clouded enough that he wasn’t entirely certain that he hadn’t missed or forgotten something that surely he ought not to have been able to miss or forget. “I…I didn’t sneeze.” It was…inescapably true that he needed to, but he’d not…

Aera chuckled briefly, quietly. “You will.”

She hung up.

The freedom afforded him by that disconnection, one staggered, desperate inhale was all it took. And in the moment, he didn’t even care that she’d been right. At this point he just wanted relief.

“hh-HH… Ahh-HEHTSSHhuu!”

“Gesundheit,” said Therion again, smiling grimly to himself. He usually minded his own business about this sort of thing – not that it came up much – and indeed still considered staying out of it altogether now. But he hadn’t known about the anniversary factor before, and playing substitute Leader for a few days was hardly the worst fate in the world, and if not tonight it was almost certainly going to come to that fate soon enough anyway, so…

He put the scrolls aside, walking over to stand opposite where Cerberus was seated at the desk. “Hey, man…”

“Huh-AHSSCHuu! *snf!*” Cerberus groaned. “Gods. Excuse me,” he murmured with a heavy sigh, his head and sinuses throbbing. He sniffled wetly, blew his nose, excused himself again, and looked up at Therion somewhat hazily. “Mm?”

Therion half-smiled, casual, non-committal. “Happy anniversary, dude. Didn’t mean to listen in or anything, just…you know. Overheard.”

A small smile of appreciative thanks crossing his face, Cerberus sniffled again and nodded in otherwise silent acknowledgement.

“Just a thought, though,” Therion continued. “If I had a choice between going home to my mad-hot bonded… How many years now, man?”

A heartbeat. An eternity.

“Twenty.”

“Fucking what?!” Therion stared at Cerberus as if he was out of his mind. “Fuck, man! Congrats and shit, but for real? If I had a choice between going home, like, immediately or staying in Office for a few more hours marking shit I could pretty easily get my Understudy to do, actually? I’d be out of here in a fucking microsecond. But, you know, you’re the boss, man. Do whatever. Just saying.” Reaching across the desk, he picked up Cenotaph’s paper and scanned its contents quickly. “I mean, this looks pretty good, I guess, but, you know, Kia probably looks better.” He grinned as Cerberus gave a dark smile in response, and paused only for a short time, but enough that the pause be noted. “Seriously. You know she’d spoil the fuck out of you.”

Cerberus sighed again, regret, bitterness and castigating self-reproach evident in his eyes beneath a haze of sickness he really could no longer deny. Yes, I know, of course I know, but... “The spoiling really was suppo… hh-HH…” He hastily took another few tissues from the box, burying his face in them just in time to catch another fierce sneeze he had no chance of stopping. “AHHTSCHUU! Goddamnit. Pardon me.” He wiped his nose, sniffling again immediately – disturbingly liquid, entirely ineffectual, and with a weariness behind it that he could not disguise. Looking back up at Therion, he returned to his point. “I’d really intended the providing of spoils to be my job tonight. And this…utter ridiculousness—” He made a vague gesture towards his face. “—was supposed to have improved, not worsened, damn it.”

With another heavy sigh, disappointment palpable, he capitulated. “I don’t suppose you keep any cold medication in Office, do you?”

“Sorry.” Therion shook his head. “Go the fuck home, man. I got this.”

Standing, Cerberus nodded briefly in reply, giving Therion a firm pat on the shoulder as he passed by. “Thank you,” he said quietly, and vanished.

---

And naturally half the damn Underworld seems to be here.

Well, he most certainly was not going to queue.

Ignoring the mixture of hushed mutterings and soft gasps from the others in the Healing centre – none of whom he recognised but it was evident from the expressions on the faces of the…many people staring at him that the reverse was not the case – Cerberus walked to the front of the line with only the most cursory of glances at those who he had no intention of waiting either for or behind, greeted Riviera at the front desk perfunctorily and, abruptly beyond caring to hear any more of the continuing intrusive sussurance, froze the entirety of the waiting room’s occupants under Stasis with a crisp wave of his hand.

Dear gods, shut up. I will set you all on fire and I won’t regret it for a second.

He sniffled strongly. “Aldiss, please,” he said to Riviera, who had already Mindsent the Healing Leader in anticipation of precisely that directive.

“On her way,” Riviera replied. She indicated the Stasis-held others. “Um, is that…are they…?”

“Entirely temporary, just expedient. I’ll undo it soon enough.”

Aldiss appeared beside Riviera at the desk, Mindsending her :Cover me for a bit. Room 5, burns, not serious, mostly dealt with already,: and Riviera duly vanished.

At a loss and clearly awaiting clarification, Aldiss turned her attention to Cerberus. “Alright, what are you doing here?”

Cerberus frowned. Why is everywhere I am apparently a surprise tonight? “I’m ill, obviously. Why else would I be here? I need cold medication.” He sniffled again, as if in emphasis, though not intentionally so, and wiped his nose.

“Again? Already?”

Again? There IS no again. I literally just got here. What the hell is going on? Cerberus briefly wondered if he could be hallucinating this entire sequence of events, so little of it seemed to make any coherent sense. “What do you mean ‘already’?” He winced as his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, which did little more than cause him a different kind of discomfort, a convulsive cough following in short order, his nose running again as a result. He sniffled sharply, repeatedly. Gods. For fuck’s sake. “Excuse me.”

“I’m not giving you anything more if you’ve taken the other lot already.”

“Damn it, Aldiss, do I sound like I’ve taken anything?!”

Aldiss did have to concede that point.

Thoroughly exasperated, Cerberus exhaled heavily in annoyance. “Why is everything always such an ordeal in this place?” And suddenly another strangeness occurred to him. “Wait – what other lot?

“The meds Kia picked up, obviously.”

“What?!” Cerberus, a fresh fear striking him – one he was entirely unprepared for, one that actually managed to distract him from his own discomforts for a moment – stared at Aldiss in unconcealed horror. “Kia’s unwell?!”

With a wry smile, Aldiss shook her head. “I swear I never personally get to experience it, but rumour has it you’re actually quite a clever man, Cerberus, so try and stay with me here, alright?” She looked at him with a certain sardonic encouragement. “The meds Kia picked up for you.”

Unfortunately, this didn’t make much more sense to him, if at all. “But what reason would…” He sniffled again. “Why would she do that?” He rubbed and wrinkled his nose against a building itch, took a tissue from the box on the desk, then another, and tried to stay focused.

Aldiss, in mildly amused bafflement that he could actually be this oblivious, stared at the Demon king as if he was a complete imbecile. “Because you’ve got a cold?”

Annoyance clearly evident despite the hitch in his breath, Cerberus frowned at her. “Yes, Aldiss, we’ve established that, but Ki…Kia doesn’t…” Ah, fuck. Bringing the tissues to his face as the itch became sharply definite, he turned away hurriedly. “Huh-ATSSCHH-uu!” He groaned, sniffling immediately, the force of the sneeze bringing to the fore anew the pulsing headache he’d almost, almostbeen able to forget, his breath still a little shaky as he excused himself. He claimed another tissue and wiped his nose, sniffling again, and took a moment before returning to his earlier point. “Kia doesn’t know about *snf!* this yet.”

“Yes, she most certainly does,” Aldiss countered. “What, you didn’t think she’d notice?”

“Well, of course she’d notice now, damn it, Aldiss,” said Cerberus in open irritation, “but I wasn’t nearly this…”

“Oh, for god’s sake, Cerberus. How long have you been together?”

“As it happens, it’s our twentieth anniversary tonight,” Cerberus replied, a bitter and rueful undertone unmissable despite increasing congestion, “which I am attempting not to completely ruin.” Another sharp sniffle. “Apparently a futile pursuit,” he muttered resentfully, and pressed the back of his hand against his nose in an attempt to see off a newly threatening, vibrantly insistent itch.

“Twenty years and you think she’d miss a thing? She knows you. She knows you really well. How do you not…”

“Ahh-HEHTSSHhuu!”

Aldiss sighed as Cerberus, thoroughly losing the battle, sneezed again, wetly and powerfully, and she passed him a handful of tissues as he murmured both an apology and a thankyou. Looking out at the significant number of people yet to be seen, she allowed him some necessary moments of recovery, then made her point. “Listen, I’m sorry you’ve managed to catch cold for your anniversary but you do have both medication and a devoted bonded waiting at home. Please go there. Kia’s probably wondering where the hell you are anyway, since – if I can I remind you – she knows you’re sick. Oh, and you can undo your…stopping people in time thing or whatever it is now, too, thank you very much.”

“As always, Aldiss, it’s been a delight.” Releasing his Stasis hold with a short wave, the murmurs and mutterings picking up precisely where they’d been cut off as if there had never been a break, Cerberus turned his gaze briefly upon his unbidden rapt audience, disregarded them all equally, internally cursed himself for having even bothered to come to this ridiculous place, inclined his head in crisp farewell, and promptly vanished.

---

Leaning back against the loungeroom wall in weary resignation upon his Teleported arrival home, Cerberus stopped still, his attentions resolutely redirected in an instant at the entirely unexpected sight of his beautiful lifebonded reclining languorously across the couch, dressed – or almost dressed, it could technically be said – in diaphanous babydoll chemise and finest lace lingerie, soft brunette darkestness falling silkenwild around her shoulders, a vision of breathtaking boudoir fantasy he was quite thoroughly unprepared for, and he paused for a moment to simply gaze at her, enchanted.

:Darkling, you are perfection.:

Kia looked up slowly, and with a sultry, indulgent smile, dropped her book onto the coffee table and stretched before sitting up just a little, beckoning him to join her with crooked finger and open invitation.

“Took your time, sweetheart,” she said, gently teasing, and opened the bottle of cognac, pouring a glass for them both. “I’d almost decided to start without you.”

“Love, I…” Cerberus began but was torn from his words unstoppably, unable to do anything about the sudden, desperate need overtaking him, and, expression crumpling and focus destroyed, he had no choice but to give in to it. “Huh-TSCHH-uu! Ah-HEHTSCHuu!” He pardoned himself with haste, groaning quietly.

“Aw, bless you, hon. Come here.” Kia repeated her beckoning motion. She regarded him a moment, frowning in puzzlement. “Where’s your coat?” She’d not seen him leave the house this morning, but she was entirely certain he’d have worn one.

“Hmm? Oh, um…” Cerberus sniffled, wiped his nose and glanced down at himself, not having given any particular thought to his outfit – his standard fine linen shirt, brocade waistcoat, tailored black pants – since leaving Office.

Which was, of course, where he’d left his coat.

“Got rained on. Earlier, that is, not… A while ago, anyhow.” He sniffled again and tried to focus. “In Office. The coat, I mean, not where the…rain was.” He sighed in exasperation as anger at the situation overtook tiredness again. “Honestly, it would be nice if I could at least form a damn sentence!” Gods, what the hell is wrong with you. Get your damn shit together. “Sorry, love. I, um…used Teleport after that, though, so I’ve not really been outside since.”

“Well, coat or not, you were supposed to have given up and come home ages ago.” Kia laughed gently. “You know, like a normal person. Why are you always so stubborn about this stuff?” She caressed his face affectionately as he sat beside her, curled an arm around the back of his neck, and kissed him with warm promise. :And don’t you even dare say a word about not wanting to give your cold to me,: she Mindsent preemptively. :Yes, I know, no, I don’t care, and there is no way I’m not kissing you on our twentieth anniversary.:

“Anyway,” she continued in satin murmur, tracing a finger along the angular contours of his jawline and kissing him again, “you know I’ll spoil you.” She looked at him directly then, sapphire eyes narrowing in challenge. “You do know that, right?”

“I…” He did, but between the desire not to need her to – at least not tonight – and rather for him to be, as he’d so very much intended, the one fulfilling any fantasies, and the desire to just try and forget failed plans and expectations and immerse in her…frankly stunning sanctuary, and his head was far too clouded to explain himself right now, and technically he had left Office early anyway so he wasn’t that late really, especially considering he hadn’t realised that he’d been expected, but what did any of this even matter when this goddess before him was so…very… He sniffled again, claiming a tissue and wiping his nose firmly, and wished he was at least a little more functional because she was so incredibly breathtaking, and that was all he could think about in the moment, really, aside from feeling like he was fairly sure he was going to sneeze again – which, when combined with the first and…infinitely preferable reason that he couldn’t think straight, provided a particularly strange contradiction in where his attentions were directed, and now he couldn’t with certainty remember exactly what she’d asked him anymore, and she was just…gods, she was everything, and his head was a mess and he…definitely had to…

He blinked rapidly, his breath hitching in escalating intensity, and turned from Kia to bury his face in crooked elbow. Gods, fuck, just…

“Huh-TSSCHH-uu! Ahh-HUHTSSHhuu!”

The force of the sneezes combined with the pounding throb of sinus-heavy headache to set the room spinning, but despite that had done very little to quiet the insistent irritation he just could not seem to escape tonight. Another staccato breath and fuck ano… hh-HH ..another and a Mindsent apology because he was entirely unable to voice one, doubling over in thrall to desperate demand, powerful, possessing. “Hhuh-AHTSCHUU! Huh…hh-TSSCHH-uu!”

“Oh, sweetheart, bless you.” Kia indicated the medications she’d collected on the table, though she wasn’t sure there was much point, his ability to focus entirely and…mesmerisingly hijacked. “You should probably…”

Cerberus, with a brief shake of his head, held up a finger in a gesture indicating that she had to wait a moment, the relentless need not done with him yet, and he inhaled deeply, unable to do a thing about it other than succumb once more, and he sneezed again – undeniable, absolute, violently ferocious. “Hh-hhAAAHTSSCHHUU! ..uhh…” A quiet groan and he pressed the back of his hand against his nose, sniffling fiercely, more than a little breathless. “Damn. Sorry.”

“Wow, bless you!” Kia said with softriveted, emphatic appraisal, and flashed him a wickedwarm grin. “Impressive. You should get a prize for that kind of effort.”

“Gods, love.” Smiling wryly despite himself, Cerberus managed a brief disbelieving laugh before having no choice but to give in to sharpburning sensation, his breath catching abrupt, deep, jagged, pleading. “hh-h-huh-TSCHH-uu! Huh-TSSCHH-uu! *snf!* Huh… huhhTSSCHHUU! For fuck’s sake! *SNFF!* Ugh, sorry.” Sniffling repeatedly, he excused himself again with clear irritation even as Kia offered him a tender blessing. He took a fresh multitude of tissues from the box and blew his nose, muttering under his breath that in any reasonable world he’d get to kill at least one person over this, and if…

“Oh, look!” announced Kia with cheery brightness, breaking into his thoughts and picking up one of the medication vials. “You win drugs.” She handed the vial to Cerberus with a kiss to his cheek, effectively short-circuiting his rising fury at the situation, and trailed a languid hand down the length of his arm, dropped her voice to a sultry purr. “I’ll even throw in the glamorous assistant.” She semi-curtseyed, winked in play.

With a soft laugh and a sigh both appreciative and self-effacing, Cerberus accepted and took the meds as proffered, curling an arm across Kia’s shoulders, drawing them closer together, and leant his head against hers, Mindsending a heartfelt, sincere :I adore you.:

“I’m so sorry, darkling.” He ran an index finger under his nose, sniffled quietly, exhaled with dismayed heaviness at the thought of having let his beloved down, in any way. “I really did mean to give you everything you desire tonight.” He sat back again; smiled at her, a little sadly. “And I truly do wish to bring you the world you deserve. All the worlds, come to that.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I know. And I know that you’re, like…literally able to do it, which still just amazes me and will forever, I swear, you’re incredible, but…really, you don’t need to be disappointed. See, I want you—” Shifting her position smoothly, Kia moved to sit on his lap, her legs astride his, and caressed his face in her hands, kissing him with passion burning. “Mmm. I want you—” Another kiss. “—to think for just a minute—” And another. “—from a different view.” Reaching behind his head, she untied the velvet ribbon constraining his hair, allowing it in release to cascade over his shoulders. She wove a gentle hand through freed midnight, tucked a few stray strands behind his ear. “If things were reversed, if I was the one who’d come home sick tonight, what would you have done?”

Cerberus chuckled wryly, softly, as he recognised her viewpoint. He didn’t pretend otherwise. “Anything you wanted, love, as always.”

Kia gave him a knowing smile. “Mm-hm.”

Wrapping her arms around him, she kissed him again, slower, deeper. “So, then, babe,” she purred, tracing a trail of kisses down his neck, shoulders, chest, “you should know that you are everything I desire, everything I dream of, and the only way you could ever let me down is to not be with me tonight, and now I am going to order you into the bedroom and you are going to do exactly what I say and that is pretty much what would have happened even with you in perfect health with your perfect plan, because you should know—” She broke off again, kissing him with a craving undeniable, abandoning speech for silksultry Mindsend.

:that all I want:

One hand now twining through his hair, the other first toying with then smoothly untying the topmost bows on her chemise, allowing it to fall away, and she pulled him closer to her again, deepening the kiss at his involuntary resulting moan.

:is…this.:

Another kiss and her hand reaching down, loosening clothing and caressing him to urgency, and he moaned again, curling one arm around her waist and another behind her head, holding her around him and returning her kiss with a fire straight from his soul, feeling her breath quickening, demanding, as she pushed back against him, heat rising. A soft growl, a gasp, a sharp inhalation as they joined together, and she met her beloved’s famed emerald gaze eye to eye, consummate, profligate, incendiary.

“Oh, and sweetheart? Tonight I am going to make you wish you caught cold more often.”

---

#inopportune timing mm-hm count on it #snzfic #my writing #my OCs #cerberus #cerbia #cerberus and kia #and she's absolutely right 😉#bit of a slow burn but we get there #supernatural soap opera

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forgottenpasta · 5 years

Text

Dulce Periculum Pt. 1

Summary: Devious and devilish, your two new impish hybrids never miss a chance to torment you for your hopeless attraction to them, knowing exactly what they do to you. But is sly sexuality and enigmatic allure all there is to the tiger and wolf hybrid, or do the depths of their eyes hide something more for you? Part 1/2.

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 7.2k

Pairings: Tiger Hybrid!Taehyung x Reader X Wolf Hybrid!Jeongguk

Warnings: Taehyung and Jeongguk have no shame, arrogance galore, filthy smut in part 2, swearing, mentions of blood, mild violence, anime style nosebleeds.

Part 1 | Part 2 (complete)

A/n: Enjoy!

****

The sickening sound of Jeongguk’s foot connecting with the bear hybrid’s face in what was a flawless display of a spinning wheel kick made you flinch in your seat. The crunch of bones breaking could be heard by even your inferior human ears. The hulking bear hybrid went down like a sack of potatoes, hitting the hard floor of the ring with a dull thud.

Jeongguk huffed out a laugh as he assumed a neutral position, wiping a hand down his sweat soaked washboard abs as he smirked down at the hybrid who was clutching his jaw with both his hands. “I thought bears were supposed to be aggressive in the ring and shit. You fight like a pussy.”

The man on the floor groaned in pain and anger, but try as he might he couldn’t get up, the rivulets of blood dripping down his nose, staining his hands and white of the ring floor indication enough of the result of the fight, but just so it was clear enough the bear hybrid tapped out nonetheless.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath to control his laboured breathing. “Put a band-aid on it and stop whining. It’ll be back to normal by tomorrow.”

“Does he really have to do that?”, you mused out loud from where you sat on the bench beside the fighting rings. You watched Jeongguk help the hybrid stand up. “I get that he’s the trainer, the teacher and all that but still. His words make me feel like a pathetic fighter and I’m not even in the ring with him.”

You hadn’t really expected a response from your bench co-occupant, seeing as ignoring you was the norm with the tiger hybrid, hence the snort startled you into turning your head to stare at him.

“That’s because you are a pathetic fighter.” Taehyung didn’t look at you, busy scrolling through his twitter feed on his phone.

Despite your resolve, which you had tried so hard to harden ever since the two insanely attractive hybrids had come into your life, you found yourself sighing. And it wasn’t a frustrated sigh either, as it should have been considering his totally unwarranted barb about your non-existent fighting skills, it was the dreamy kind. You didn’t understand how he made slouching on a bench, bored out of his mind while staring blankly at his phone look like a cover spread straight out of a bougie magazine. He unintentionally modelled every little thing he did, like right now you could take a picture of him and photoshop an ad of the device in his hand and no one would blink an eye. You could understand why so many brands clamoured to get him to model for them, though he was particularly picky and selective about who to lend his divinely handsome face to.

“Thanks, Tae.”, you replied, because what did you say to that really? You were always hard pressed to come up with a clever response whenever one of them were in close proximity to you. You swore up and down you were a quick witted person when your two new hybrids weren’t there to cloud your confidence with their sex-on-legs charm and mysterious aura.

“Don’t mention it, Owner. I’m always here to offer you some encouraging words.”, Taehyung muttered with a straight face, his striped tail swishing languidly beside him.

A shiver ran through you, even though the temperature in the gym was completely normal.

Owner. You had told them countless times to call you by your name ever since they came into your life three weeks ago, but every time you did they just smiled at you and went right back to calling you owner. You were convinced they got their kicks off watching you turn red or sputter or stumble all over yourself whenever one of them uttered the word. They knew what effect it had on you and they revelled in it.

You were about to ask him for the nth time not to call you that when the brownish orange ears atop his head twitched and he looked up. You followed suit, making eye contact with your wolf hybrid sauntering towards the two of you with a lazy grin on his face.

Shirtless. Sweatpants riding low. Underwear band showing above the top of the waistband of his sweats. Long hair wet from a shower. Fuck.

From the amused expression on Taehyung’s face you knew he could hear your thundering heartbeat.

“Don’t go getting a heart attack now, Owner. Who’s gonna feed us if we lose you?”

Jeongguk took that moment to reach the two of you. “Who’s getting a heart attack?”, he asked, pulling out a towel from his duffel bag beside the bench and towel drying his hair with it in that way guys did that should not look hot but did.

“No one. Are you ready to go?”, you diverted the conversation, willingly breathing deeply to tame your heartbeat. You did not need their ribbing over your obvious attraction to them right now.

“Yeah, just need to clock out for the weekend. Then we’re driving down to Lean Raw to have lunch.”, Jeongguk informed, chuckling when you made a face at the suggestion. The restaurant he was talking about only served tasteless “healthy food”, no sight of grease or artery-choking deliciousness anywhere.

“We went there last Friday as well.”, you complained under your breath, getting up to follow both of them out of the gym, trying not to stare at Jeongguk’s flexing back muscles as he pulled on a white T-shirt that might as well be see-through, his sleek yet fluffy dark grey wolf tail swaying gracefully behind him.

Jeongguk turned back and you quickly averted your eyes, feigning immense interest in the potted plants lining the gym’s exit.

“You should thank me then. I’m making you eat healthy at least once a week.”

“I eat fine. Not my fault normal is not upto your standards.”, you mumbled as you all reached his black Mercedes parked in the small parking lot for gym employees.

“If you consider subway sandwiches and Chinese takeout six days a week normal, Owner, then you’re asking for that heart attack you were about to get back in there.”, he quipped, winking at Taehyung when the elder hybrid’s amusement broke for a laugh at the stricken look on your face.

You hurried to duck inside the car, going for the spacious backseat because they never let you drive when one of them were with you, even when you insisted to take your own humble and ancient Honda Accord. Taehyung got in the passenger seat and Jeonnguk in the driver’s, smoothly pulling out onto the road.

Seeing you three together the way you were, it was hard to figure out whether you owned the hybrids or if it was the other way round. People never believed you when you told them the two luxurious, predator hybrids were yours. And they wouldn’t have been had your great-aunt, who remained unmarried throughout her life and amassed a considerable wealth writing books about hybrids, had not unexpectedly died by slipping in her apartment-sized bathroom and breaking her head open on the corner of a marble countertop. Even more unexpectedly, she had willed the two hybrids that she had raised since they were teenagers to you of all people and all her wealth to them. You often thought that she must have had no idea that she’d die so suddenly and unexpectedly, because her will have to have been an interim joke while she figured out exactly who to actually give responsibility of her hybrids to in case of her death.

Or maybe she thought you were the only one who’d not try to extort the wealth she had endowed on her two “kids”. Technically, hybrid inheritance and property laws still prohibited ownership of property by hybrids if their owner hadn’t sanctioned it or gifted it to them, and in the eyes of law everything that belonged to the hybrids belonged to their owners as well. In your opinion, it was well past time such medieval and discriminatory laws were repealed but it didn’t matter anyway because your timid, tongue-tied self was incapable of extorting even an unwilling apology or “thank you” from the two spoiled hybrids, let alone their money.

Maybe your great-aunt was a genius. She knew exactly who would never be willing or able to curb her hybrids’ freedom.

“You guys are so mean.”, you pouted, looking out the window at the slow-passing buildings and dramatically leaning your head against the glass like you were a pitiful, wronged protagonist of an angsty movie.

“You’re just so prone to even a little bit of teasing, Owner. You get all nervous and fidgety, it’s honestly so funny to watch.”, Jeongguk supplied helpfully.

You rolled your eyes. “Glad I could entertain, but stop calling me owner, please. Just call me ___.”

Taehyung smirked at you from the review mirror. “As you wish, Owner.”

Giving up with a huff, you slipped in your earbuds to effectively shut out their teasing and showcase your disgruntlement. The name was an irony at this point, an oxymoron, because you anything but owned them. They had known what effect they had on you from the moment you’d first met them in your great-aunt’s lawyer’s office. You’d given away all your cards from the first meting like the inexperienced, naive idiot you were. You’d toppled over the carpet because you were staring at Taehyung instead of watching where you were going, signed the wrong documents because Jeongguk had flashed a smile your way and literally broken the glass of the table with a jerk of your knee when you’d felt Jeongguk’s hand accidentally brush your denim covered thigh. Even the lawyer tried to cover up his laughter with coughs and sympathetic looks towards you. In short you had been a rambling, awkward mess at the thought of two of the sexiest men/hybrids you’d ever seen living with you and that day had been marked as the most humiliating one in your life, one you’d likely reminisce for years to come whenever you couldn’t sleep late at night and your brain started playing the movie of all the embarrassing moments of your life. And it would be a long one, because even after three weeks living with them you continued to make a fool out of yourself at every reminder of how out of your league they were and how bad of a crush you had on them.

Even though you had earbuds in, you weren’t actually listening to music, too preoccupied with thoughts of your lameness to press play. You could hear everything when Taehyung and Jeongguk started talking.

“You helping me with the shoot tommorow?”, Taehyung asked him. He had a photoshoot for a luxury watch brand coming up which was going to be featured on multiple billboards and magazines. You always did a double take when you spotted Taehyung’s face around the city, on banners, screens and subway ads, had a hard time believing the same man slept across the hall from you.

“Nah, hyung. Jackson asked me to help him out at the club downtown, one of his bouncers quit recently and you know how the weekend rush is.”

Taehyung chuffed in disappointment, the sound so tiger-like you almost smiled. He couldn’t purr like small cat hybrids could, but his chuffs were so damn adorable it didn’t matter.

“Why don’t you take Owner with you?”, Jeongguk suggested, a small tilt to his lips indicating he was joking. Maybe. Nevertheless you shrunk down in your seat to make yourself as small as possible. You did NOT want to go to one of Taehyung’s photoshoots, for many reasons but mainly because you knew what seeing him in his element would do to you and you had clowned yourself enough to last a life time.

Taehyung frowned, running his long, slender fingers over his bottom lip in contemplation. “I would but I don’t want her to get nosebleeds watching me pose for the camera.”

Death. You wanted it.

Staring wide-eyes at your lap you willed spontaneous combustion to incinerate you right then and there. The nerve of him! He was so fucking arrogant but so fucking…spot on, and he said it with such quiet resignation too, like it was the truth of the matter universally accepted that you would, in fact, get nosebleeds watching him pose. But still, was humility not in fashion anymore? You had half a mind to connect your bluetooth to Jeongguk’s car and blast Humble by Kendrick Lamar.

Jeongguk laughed. “You are a smug motherfucker.”

Taehyung was affronted, he shot the wolf a glare. “That’s ‘You are a smug motherfucker, hyung’ to you, brat. Besides, you have no room to talk after that shirtless, just out-of-the-shower thing you pulled on her back there. You knew what you were doing.”

Jeongguk shrugged shamelessly. “Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy that as much as I did.”

Enough.

“I can hear you two animals.”, you said hotly, glaring at them as you crossed your arms across your chest.Jeongguk snorted.

“Animals? Thats what the playground bully called me in kindergarten. You gotta come up with something better than that, Owner.”

Taehyung peeked back at you with mischievous eyes, a playful smile on his face. “Aww, Owner, we knew you could hear us. There’s no music playing in those.” He pointed to the earphones you clutched close to your chest. Of course, how could you forget their superior hearing that just outed you in the gym as well. The pissed off glare you’d aimed at him faltered when you noticed his gaze linger on your chest for a second too long but his eyes were back to yours before you could say anything.

“I would love to take you to the shoot with me, you know. Nosebleeds or not.”

His eyes went hooded and his voice dropped an octave lower than it already was, his baritone rich and deep and sensuous. You stilled, involuntarily bracing for whatever he was about to say.

“I would love to let people know who owns me.”

********

Snatching a pristine white paper napkin from the holder, you stuffed it up your nostril, letting it hang from there as you smacked away Taehyung’s hands when he tried to help you.

“You have to tilt your head Owner or the bleeding won’t stop easily.”, he whined, trying to grab your head to make you tilt it. You shrugged him off.

“I don’t need to listen to you. You should be able to see what you did to me.”

“Flawless logic, Owner.”, Jeongguk snickered from where he sat across the two of you. Taehyung had immediately claimed the seat beside you upon entering the restaurant, hovering to make sure you were alright. Jeongguk had also tried to approach you with his hands outstretched but a glare from you had him sitting where he was now.

Taehyung sighed, leaning back in his seat to give you a look of concern but finally leaving you alone. “I was just joking. I had no clue that would happen.”

You didn’t want to talk about yet another one of your now infamous daily embarrassments, not having the willpower to confront your failings at the moment. You changed the subject. “Can we order please? I’m starving.”

Jeongguk signalled for a waitress but kept his eyes on you, a frown coming on to his beautiful features. “Did you skip breakfast again? I made you an omelette and cut up some fruits before leaving for work in the morning.”

“Oh did you?”, you asked sardonically, raising your brows and turning to look pointedly at your tiger hybrid. “I didn’t happen to find it.”

A guilty look crossed Taehyung’s face immediately, his orange and black ears almost folding over on his head. He rushed to explain himself. “I didn’t know it was for her! In my defence I offered to make her some pancakes to compensate but she refused. I did manage to get some cereal in her though.”

You were already speaking before Jeongguk could impart another one of his healthy eating lectures on you. “I was getting late to meet my friend, I didn’t have time to eat.”

The wolf hybrid shook his head in disappointment, making you feel strangely guilty. You were an adult dammit, you didn’t need to explain your eating habits to your own hybrid.

Thankfully the waitress took that moment to come take your order, saving you from any more chastisement from the hunk of muscle and soft fur sitting across from you. But a look towards the cute blonde standing beside your table, bending down low to show her modest cleavage, smiling at your hybrids like she was a kid in a candy store (or a waitress who’d just won the hot customer table lottery), had your mood tumbling right back down in the gutter.

It really shouldn’t have, you should be used to this by now. People, women and men, stared at your hybrids wherever they went, you had first hand witnessed a woman run into a pole whilst almost turning her head 180 degrees to keep staring at Taehyung and Jeongguk. You didn’t blame them, they were a hard pair to ignore. Especially when they were together, they oozed a confidence and charisma so magnetic that along with their otherworldly attractiveness, it tended to leave the people around them slack jawed, awed and/or jealous. But the most befuddling part was that they didn’t have to do anything for it except be themselves. If they noticed the attention on them, they were either used to it or consciously ignored it because you’d never witnessed them giving a fuck about what others thought about them or saw them as, and that just added to their charm even more.

Like now. They were doing nothing out of the ordinary but a sweeping glance around you informed you that almost all women and some men seated inside the healthy-crap selling establishment were either blatantly staring at them or trying to steal glances in between conversation and eating. They turned heads wherever they went, this was nothing new. So why did you feel a headache oncoming?

“Hi, my name is Lea. What can I get you boys?”, the waitress chirped, her million watt smile illuminating your table and worsening your headache.

You sighed in resignation, not at all surprised by your exclusion in her greeting. Whenever you were with your two hybrids, you might as well be thin air, except that one time when that pre-pubescent kid in the park had asked you if you were their maid.

Jeongguk smiled at her, and you swore even you could hear her heartbeat double up. “Just water, while we decide please. Thank you.”

“Of course.” She wrote something on her notepad, making you scowl. Did she really need to remember something as simple as water? You saw her surreptitiously glance at Taehyung as she made to leave, and apparently the tiger hybrid noticed too, a smirk curling on his lips before he shot her a wink. The waitress stumbled over nothing, almost face planting in someone’s food. Felt good to not be the only one making a fool of herself over the two men. You ignored the irrational irritation simmering deep in you at the sight of one of them semi-flirting with a woman.

They were very respectful towards your home space in terms of never bringing anyone home for the night, even though you hadn’t said anything to the effect, but you were hundred percent sure they more than got their needs fulfilled without you ever coming to know of their escapades, it was impossible that they didn’t, looking the way they did and the sheer number of propositions they got on a daily basis.

You snapped open your menu in search of the least healthy option available when Taehyung addressed you.

“I wasn’t joking about you coming with me to the shoot, you know.”

When you said nothing, he grumbled out, “Owner, I’m talking to you. You look absolutely ridiculous with that napkin stuffed up your nose by the way.”

You gave him the stink eye, ignoring his last quip. “Why do you want me there? You always have your agent and staff with you.”

Jeongguk answered for him, leaning back to rest his arm across the back of the bench in a way that did wonders for his biceps and had you momentarily distracted. “He gets restless when he’s around strangers for a long time. Ideally hyung can manage it but during long shoots it helps when someone he has scented accompanies him.”

“Scented?” You frowned, not understanding. Your knowledge of hybrids was embarrassingly scant and whatever you knew about their behaviours had been acquired in the last three weeks of living with the two.

Jeongguk looked at you, surprised, before sharing a look with Taehyung that you couldn’t quite comprehend. “Um…”

“If you’re worried about getting more nosebleeds, you don’t need to. You can stay in the trailer during the whole thing and I can come get you when I need you.” Taehyung cut off whatever Jeongguk was about to say, speaking to you in a tone that bordered on placating. Pitying.

The mercury was rising on your temper thermometer. One thing you absolutely hated was being pitied. It was bad enough that they knew how you felt about them, how helplessly attracted you were to them. You could even excuse their teasing words and occasional jokes at your expense. But pity, you could not take. An idea formed in your head as you sat there stewing in your vexed emotions.

“No, thank you.”, you snapped, a little more crassly than you perhaps should have but Taehyung’s surprised face was worth it. You normally never spoke in anything but a diffident manner. “I have plans this weekend.”

A frown replaced his surprise rather quickly. “What plans? You didn’t say anything about any plans.”

“You normally stay at home during weekends to read those steamy books you love so much.”, Jeongguk added, looking at you with curiosity. At your shocked face he smiled crookedly and felt the need to further elaborate. “You know the ones with the ripped dudes on the cover.”

You sucked on your tongue, internally enraged but forcing yourself to not react and rise up to his bait. Anger and embarrassment were not a good combination for you, so when you spoke your voice was sharp enough to cut. “How would you know what I “normally” do on weekends? You two have only been living with me three weeks. Don’t presume that you know the first thing about me.“

It was Jeongguk’s turn to look surprised, likely because you’d never spoken to them that way. He shared a glance with Taehyung and because you weren’t looking at him you missed the “tone it down” gesture he made to the younger with his hand and Jeongguk’s subtle nod to it.

The wolf hybrid slowly reached across the table and picked up your hand. Looking contrite, he apologised. “I’m sorry, Owner. You’re absolutely right. I spoke out of turn. Will you please tell us what are your plans for this weekend?”

You almost answered them but the words stalled in your throat when a thought occurred. “Why do you guys want to know?”

Jeongguk looked like he was at a loss for a second. Smoothly, Taehyung picked up your question, saving the younger from coming up with an appropriate excuse. “For security, Owner. We just want to know you’ll be safe. Can you really begrudge us your mere whereabouts when we’ve recently lost our previous owner so easily?”

He knew he was being underhanded playing the dead owner card, but Taehyung had never been one for propriety.

As expected your eyes softened at the mention of your deceased Aunt. You shrugged, giving in. “I’m gonna go clubbing with some friends.”

The truth was you hadn’t been out partying in a long while, hadn’t had an orgasm given to you by someone else in even longer and you felt that this painful attraction to your two hybrids might just be more exasperating because of these factors. A night of drinking, dancing and maybe a good lay just might help. Or not. But you had to try and get over your unrequited crush over your hybrids, who were way out of your league.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice how the they had suddenly straightened to give you all of their attention, until Jeongguk broke the silence with a bark. “Who?”

You raised your brows.

He cleared his throat, voice calmer when he repeated. “Who? That girl who works under you? What’s her name? Mary, Maddie, err, Maggie? I can’t remember.”

“My assistant, Masie? Ugh, no. Just some people I’ve been friends with since college I guess.”

They frowned at your vague answer but before they could question you further the waitress returned, a suspicious new sheen of bright red lipstick on her lips which wasn’t there before. Taehyung noticed you roll your eyes at her, making him smile secretively.

Jeongguk turned on his charm on her, something you’d noticed he couldn’t help but do with people, but you were hundred percent certain what he presented was a front. Like a computer which produced the same output every time you give the same command, no matter who gave it. You could shuffle his interactions with strangers interested in him with each other, and it wouldn’t make any difference. They all fell for it hook, line and sinker.But you didn’t feel like watching him make the poor girl more flustered than she already was today.

You turned your gaze to the menu, tuning out the sound of the waitress going on an in-detail spiel about her favourite dishes available when Jeongguk was gonna order the same thing he did last time.

Taehyung’s shoulder nudged you softly, and you looked up to see his soft smile directed at you. It disarmed you for a second.

He leaned down to whisper in your ear, making you shiver slightly. “Do introduce us to your friends.”

You promptly glanced back at the menu. Hell, no.

********

The next day you found your luck shining on you. Three flyers for a downtown club named Lithium which was offering free drinks for the code printed on them, were stuffed in your mailbox along with other junk. As usual, when it came to actually going through with your plans you had been dithering, both laziness and your mild agoraphobia making a simple task such as going out with some friends seem like a herculean effort. As if the huge amount of money you’d spent on getting therapy for your anxiety wasn’t reason enough to enjoy your better state of mind once in a while.

You messaged some of your friends, the ones you knew were unlikely to turn down an offer of drinking and partying. Your college friends Naeun and Sooyoung accepted immediately. Giddy with excitement, you spent your day flitting about the house and pampering yourself with every skin care product you owned and scrubbing and waxing yourself down to a polish, not one prickly hair in sight.

It helped that Taehyung was out for his shoot and Jeongguk was out doing god knows what, it’s not like you pried into their lives. Even though it was the more heedful thing to do to know about their whereabouts because if hybrids got into trouble with the authorities out on their own, nobody could save them except their owners. You felt a little relieved that they were prudent enough to wear their collars whenever they were out on their own, though Taehyung wore his wrapped around his wrist like a bracelet.

At the thought of Taehyung you stopped rummaging your closet to rub your chin in contemplation and a little guilt. You could swear he was pouting when he left home this morning for work, looking at you out of the corner of his eyes when it became absolutely apparent that you would not accompany him to the shoot. You also remembered Jeongguk’s soft murmer of appreciation because you’d woken up early to make him breakfast just how he liked, he’d touched your waist lightly while doing so, making you almost drop your plate.

Sighing you glanced back at your closet, your gaze flitting to the deep blue number you’d bought on impulse but never worn. You didn’t feel like you had the confidence to carry risqué clothing, so your more revealing purchases almost always remained untouched in your closet. But you still remembered the happenings of yesterday, you would not pity yourself like they did. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen? Ending up looking like a literal clown was better than making a fool of yourself every other day. You pulled out the deep blue halter dress that moulded to your curves like a second skin and ended at mid-thigh.

Sooyoung and Naeun brought a bottle of vodka for little prep drinking before you went out. Naeun looked absolutely gorgeous in her slinky black dress and sky-high heels, towering over you as she hugged you. Sooyoung was dressed like she was going to a bdsm club. She was pushing past you to get to the kitchen and pulling out shot glasses before you could even say a word in greeting to her. Naeun and you followed her.

“So who are we getting over?”, Naeun chirped as she grabbed her shot.

“What do you mean?”, you asked nonchalantly, cutting up a melon and getting some salt.

You could feel Naeun stare even though you weren’t looking at her.

“You don’t fool us, ___, we’ve known you since college. You would never willingly go out unless it was absolutely imperative. You’re clearly looking for a distraction.”, Sooyoung gave you a knowing look before downing her first shot like it was water and she a fish.

You laughed, but even to your own ears the sound came out as awkward. “Can’t a girl just let loose with her friends once in a while just for the heck of it.”

Sooyoung exchanged a troubled glance with Naeun, the action reminding you of the subtle glances your two hybrids often exchange with one other, instantly putting a damper on your mood. You were sick of feeling like the butt of some inside joke you were never privy to.

Sooyoung saw your scowl and touched your hand.“We just meant it is unlike you. Even once in a while.”, she assured while reaching for the bottle.Naeun narrowed her eyes at you, making you go tense.

Ever the straightforward one, she never minced her words. She had a reputation for reducing many a guy and girl to tears with her honesty, including you. “I’m sure its got nothing to do with the two hybrids you now own. I saw the pictures in the living room by the way, they’re certainly a sight for sore eyes. Did you fuck them yet?”

You should have expected it but her crass words made you immediately defensive anyhow. “What?! No! I don’t- it’s not like that between us.”

“Between you and them or between them and you?”

“What the fuck does that even mean?” You downed your shot then, already itching to get out there and forget everything happening in your life.

Sooyoung answered for Naeun. “What she means, in Naeun-speak, is if it’s you who wants to keep it “not like that” or them? What’s the tea? C’mon tell us. ”, she imitated your voice, sounding way more annoying than you did. You hoped.

You rolled your eyes on an exasperated sigh. “You guys are looking for “tea” where there is not even a drop of water.”

Naeun pretended to check her one inch glittery gold fake nails. “If that’s so, you don’t mind me asking for their numbers right? It’s been a long time since I’ve been the filling in a sexy hybrid sandwich.”

After a few seconds of you staring at your two friends wide-eyed and them looking at you expectantly, you threw in the towel. “No, I’m not gonna give you their numbers. Can we go already?”

“Sure.”, Sooyoung got up, swinging an arm around your shoulder as she led you to the front door. Naeun followed behind with a smug expression you wanted to slap off. “We’re gonna get you a good lay and you’re gonna forget all about them. Good dick is good dick, no matter where it comes from.”

You made a face. “There’s so much wrong with that sentence.”

******** Club Lithium was jam packed, the weekend crowd clearly evidenced in the long queue of dressed up people that had greeted you outside. You had fully expected to wait outside till your toes went numb in the blue suede pumps you had selected to go along with your dress, but seeing you three approaching the entrance, a bouncer had broken away from his guard at the door to tell you about the random selection for entrants they were doing from people in the line. Which was odd because you hadn’t even joined the queue yet.

You eyed his suspiciously but Sooyoung was jumping at the chance before you could second guess anything, expressing gratitude by bounding upto him to clutch his bicep as he led you all inside.

“I think the girls are doing their job.”, Naeun observed, adjusting her cleavage for maximum potential. You laughed as you entered the club, darkness surrounding you immediately as strobe lights in red and blue occasionally flashed and gave you a glimpse of a crowded dance floor and a bar spanning the entire left side of the club. The mix of bass and thrumming drum beats was already making you itch to move to the rhythm even with just one shot in your system.

You absolutely loved to dance. It didn’t matter that you weren’t all that good at it, you could dance to anything and everything, even silence when you were alone in your apartment with an imaginary song playing in your head. Even if you didn’t find anybody to go home with today, if you were able to dance till your feet hurt you’d consider it a successful night out. Your friends knew this.

Sooyoung took your hand to drag you to the bar, shouting over the music. “Let’s get more shots so we can dance already.”

An adorable looking cat hybrid was manning the bar. His fluffy tail flicked as you signalled for his attention, a wide smile immediately coming on to his face as he greeted you. “My name is Yoongi. What can I get you guys?”

As Sooyoung answered him, you couldn’t help but stare meanwhile. He really was adorable. White tail and ears and a head full of platinum hair, he looked unreal. His black collar shone with a big circle cut diamond hanging from the centre. He was clearly much appreciated by his owner. You wondered if you could get away with gifting something like that to your hybrids. As much as they called you owner, you never got an inkling that they truly acknowledged your ownership enough to accept a symbol of it from you. You didn’t want to step on any toes.

“You look a little lost.” Yoongi’s voice made you snap your gaze to him. He slid your drink towards you.

You downed the shot as quickly as you could before answering him. “Just thinking about my hybrids.”

Yoongi didn’t look surprised, though he leaned his elbows on the bar top in curiosity. “What kind of hybrids do you own? I’m my owner’s only hybrid, I can’t imagine having to share his attention with another.”

“Tiger and wolf.”

Yoongi wrinkled his nose, looking even cuter if that was possible. “Wild predators. We got a wolf h—“

A cheery voice cut him off as a handsome man came down the other side towards Yoongi to fluff up his hair. “I hope you’re not getting distracted again, Yoongi.”

Yoongi huffed as he swatted away his hand. “I’m not. I’m just talking to the customers, Jackson.”

Jackson reached for his hair again, smiling deviously, making the hybrid duck away to escape. You tilted your head, a small smile on your face. What would happen if you made to ruffle Taehyung or Jeongguk’s hair? You had a sudden inexplicable urge to find out.

Leaving the bar you joined your friends on the dance floor. Hip thrusting and body rolling your heart out to the hip hop and EDM fusion beat. As the night progressed, you downed three more shots, thoroughly tipsy when Naeun grabbed you from behind for a less than platonic dance with her, grinding on each other and making many men on the dance floor drool over the sight of you two.

After your sixth shot, you were officially gone to the world as you moved on the dance floor. When an unfamiliar pair of hands snaked around your waist, you didn’t do anything to stop them, didn’t even turn around when a distinctively male, unfamiliar voice whispered in your ear from behind.

“You’re so fucking ho—hghk.” And just like that the hands disappeared and the presence gone from behind in a rush of air.

“Huh?” Slightly confused but the alcohol in your system muddling your intelligence, you made to look over your shoulder but another pair of muscular hands were replacing the previous ones before you could.

The body that moulded to yours thrummed with testosterone and something dangerous, the heady musk of maleness and something wild but eerily familiar making you simultaneously a little scared but comforted. You moved languidly together, though the music was anything but.

He towered over you, you could tell, his chin brushing the top of your head. He didn’t say anything, just held you impossibly close and danced with you like he had all the time in the world. The alcohol you had consumed was making you uncharacteristically bold, you leaned your head against his shoulder and when the music switched to something more sultry, you slowly took his hands in yours to trail them up your waist.

For a few seconds he didn’t do anything, but soon enough he was taking your prompt and running his veiny hands up your body. When his hands brushed the underside of your breasts, a sigh escaped your lips even as your failing inhibitions tried to contain it. “Yes.”

You threw caution to the wind when one of his fingers almost touched a nipple through the fabric of your dress. Taking his hands in yours, you placed them firmly on your breasts, undulating your hips to the beat to rub against his pelvis.

A curse left his lips that he muffled against your hair, hooking the the curtain of it that fell over your right shoulder with his fingers to bare your neck to him. He pressed his mouth to the sensitive skin there, and you had inkling he was also doing it to not let any more sounds escape him.

Reaching a hand behind you, you grabbed a thick thigh, urging him to not let any space between you. He bit your neck at the action, sucking on the skin to leave a bruise there.

“Fuck yes!”, you moaned, closing your eyes. You were unbearably wet in your lace panties, your thighs rubbing together to alleviate the sensations his touch on your breasts was causing.

When you couldn’t take it anymore, you swiftly turned around to attach your lips to his. Not caring to take a look at his face, the only thing illuminating your surroundings were occasional flashing strobe lights anyway, you went on your tip toes to deepen the kiss, licking his bottom lip for more. He obliged with equal eagerness, clutching the back of your head so that his tongue could explore your mouth.

He tasted divine, smelled even more amazing. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, certain you were going to spend your night in the arms of a strange man that felt like home. You hadn’t expected to actually get laid tonight, but were thoroughly satisfied by how the night was turning out.

Biting his lip, you trailed kisses up his jaw as your hands inched up to card into his thick hair. You were about to whisper into his ear a proposition to leave for somewhere less crowded when your fingers encountered the distinctive shape of ears on his head, the soft fur tickling your skin. You had no clue you were kissing a hybrid.

Surprised, you pulled back to look at the hybrid you’d almost been vertical fucking in front of so many people. The man tried to pull you back in to his lips but you resisted, curious, and when next the lights flashed to illuminate the club momentarily, your heart almost lurched out of your chest in shock.

Jeongguk was staring back at you with heavy lidded eyes, lips swollen from your frantic kisses and a hungry look on his face.

“Won’t you ask me to take you home, Owner?”

You gasped, stumbling back as some sobriety filtered back in. What had you done? This was not supposed to happen. You had promised yourself you’d never let either of them seduce you just for the sake of it. Your heart couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t handle being a notch on their belt when you had to live with them, and knowing your tendency for attachment it was downright dangerous for you to delve into any kind of physical intimacy with them.

But of course, why would they care about your heart. They were as cruel with their inconsiderate handling of your feelings towards them as ever. He could have easily told you who he was, or better yet never approached you in the first place, but they could never pass up a chance to torment you, could they? Your lips were already craving for more, your body still tingling in all the right places, even though you’d done nothing but make out. This is why you never wanted to go down this path, if you didn’t know what you were missing, you wouldn’t want it as much. Now, Jeongguk had ruined even that for you. He likely thought it’d be fun to prank his owner, making your vulnerability the butt of the joke as always. And now you couldn’t go back to just imagining what it felt like kissing them, he’d gone and given you a taste of what you couldn’t have. All for a joke. He must be laughing at you internally for falling into his arms so easily, even without looking at his face.

Self pity and humiliation were a depressing combination, forcing tears into your eyes even as you tried your best to keep them at bay.

Jeongguk had started closing the distance between you again, lust evident on his face, when the sudden suspicious shine in your eyes made him go stock-still.

A horrified, confused look dawned on his beautiful face. “Owner, what-wait—!”

Not letting him speak and fuck up everything more than it already was, you turned to flee the club.

A/n: let me know what you thought, feedback keeps me writing.

#jungkook smut #taehyung smut #bts smut #bts fic #bts angst #bts scenarios #bts imagines #jungkook fic #taehyung fic #jeon jungkook #kim taehyung

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theonetheycallhannah · 3 years

Text

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 20: Second Assist

Characters: Captain Logan “Sy” Syverson, Shane Benton (OFC), various other original supporting/secondary characters

Summary: Shane reunites with friends and family, hashes out some feelings, and gets real with Sy. Can their relationship survive her trauma? And the threat that still looms above them?

Romance and Smut Abound HERE!

Word Count: 4500

Warnings: Mention of rape, alcoholic beverages, violent imagery…feels out the butt.

Author’s Note: You guys are so splendid and beautiful! I can’t thank you enough for your support and encouragement to finish this piece. First, welcome to new readers! I know poor Henry’s injury and subsequent physiotherapy has driven some of you here, and while I’m sorry for him, I’m glad I can consider myself something of a pioneer in this particular genre and provide you some help for your newfound thirst. To my OG readers, it is to you I owe this entire work, parts written and incomplete, and I hope an eventual book deal. I mean to mention you in my acknowledgements, should this ever reach a willing publisher. You’ve inspired me so supremely that I cannot quantify it, even with the words I hold so dear.

Since my last chapter was posted, we’ve said a relieved goodbye to 2020 and a tentative hello to 2021. To be honest, this year has started out worse than last year. Lots of bad weather in my area this winter, my sister is currently on her way to a new life in another state, and my grandmother, the last grandparent I had, passed away in February. Those last two things have been especially difficult to shake off and recover from, both coming to fruition pretty suddenly. Amongst all that, I’ve been pretty distracted by my other fandoms, especially Marvel, and I’ve been reading a killer book series that I’m utterly in love with. (The Throne of Glass novels by Sarah J. Maas. 10/10 recommend.) But I knew I needed to get back into Shane and Sy’s story, especially given the new and rekindled interest in the subject matter. In all honesty, I’ve had most of it written for months. It’s just been a matter of finishing it off to set up the rest of the story.

I really hope you all enjoy Chapter 20, Second Assist, and would love your feedback and notes. You are all so important to this story, and your notes, reblogs, and comments are cherished. Thank you so much for reading! Love from Hannah!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism. This is an original work by me, Hannah. Please reblog if you wish to share. Please do not repost either in whole or part, as the work of anyone but myself. Thanks so much for reading!

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X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Shane woke in her warm bed, late morning sun streaming in through her sheer curtains, the heavier drapes parted to let in the light. She wished she'd remembered to close them before now. She really was not ready to be awake.

She was sore. Achy. Her sleep had been fitful and full of shadowy nightmares and muffled screams. Beyond that, she didn't try to remember images or events. She knew the general premise of the dreams. It would take a lot of time, effort, or a miracle to make her forget those traumas she'd been through in the last week. Not even forget. She knew she never would. But move on from them. Accept them. And heal from them…even that seemed a mighty obstacle. One she was not sure she could surmount.

Through the open bedroom door, she could hear Lynyrd Skynyrd and the clanging and sizzling of pans, and she could smell bacon and freshly brewed coffee. Sy had left the room, but had not, it seemed, gone far. She gingerly sat up, stood from the bed, and donned her robe as she walked out into the hall and down the corridor to the kitchen.

The sight before her warmed her heart. There was Sy. In only his boxers, daringly frying the notoriously dangerous breakfast meat. Upon her entry to the kitchen, she could also smell pancakes, and she thought syrup, as well. He seemed to be warming a bottle of the maple unction in a pot of hot water. He turned as she stepped on a squeaky floorboard, and grinned widely at her.

"Mornin' sunshine." And she was struck by the irony of someone with such a radiant smile calling her sunshine. Especially when she didn't feel much like beaming. But she couldn't help return the expression, even through her pain.

"Mornin' bear. Did you go to the store?" She knew she couldn't have any bacon in her fridge, and she doubted her eggs and milk were still good at this point. But she also couldn't think that he would leave her for any reason.

"Nah, some of the guys brought over some provisions. Matt worked on your car all night, too, and filled up the tank. It's as good as new. He and Nate brought ‘er over as well as the groceries. I just had ‘em get stuff I knew your family wouldn't be bringing later. They've had tons of food given to them this week, and they're ready to share. You should have seen your mom loading me down with sandwiches and chips and whatnot when I visited them."

"I still can't believe you met them. I really wanted to introduce you personally." Shane's face fell. She would never be able to get that back. She wanted to cry. Sy had poured her a cup of coffee and sat it in front of her with her favorite creamer.

"Darlin' I’m so sorry. I had to talk to them."

"I know." she sniffed. "I'm not mad. Not at you. Just…"she didn't want to say Elliott's name. "I'm disappointed that the experience was stolen from me." That so many things had been stolen from her. By that monster. There was no other way to describe him. Sy growled. As if he could read her mind. He really just knew her well enough and shared her thoughts.

"Well, don't worry, we'll have a nice dinner with them one of these days, and we can pretend. Sound good?"

"Yeah, and I can feign nervousness." she laughed.

"And I'll pretend too. That I'm scared to meet your dad." he chuckled. "What if he threatens me with his shotgun?"

"I'll pull the ol' 'Daddy, no, I loooooove him!' line, as I throw myself between you!"

"That oughta work." he laughed and kissed her on the forehead as he stepped toward the stove and flipped a pancake.

As they sat eating their late breakfast, Shane's mind wandered. Nothing had changed on the surface, but everything was different now. This cozily mundane breakfast with her boyfriend felt like an out of body experience. As delicious as it was, as wonderful and comforting as it should feel, her guard was up. Even through her amiable façade. She was not the person she was two weeks ago. She was not the same woman who said goodbye to Sy at the base. Maybe that was the real transformation. Maybe that was why nothing felt normal. It wasn't the world, but her own self coming back into it.

"Shane?" Sy asked, gently, but it felt like he was speaking through a megaphone directly into her ear. She was so startled, she nearly dropped the half full mug of coffee that was paused midway to her lips. A bit sloshed out onto the table and splashed her shirt.

"Shit!" she chided herself. It wasn't a big deal, but she felt stupid jumping at the sound of her own name.

Sy reached for the closest towel, hanging from the oven handle, grabbed it and started for her clothes with it. She stopped him. But she couldn't think about why the intimate act made her uncomfortable.

"No, don't, it's fine. These clothes have seen better days, anyway." She pulled the towel from him and began to mop up the small puddles of coffee around her plate.

Sy seemed to note the stains already present on the shirt, as if trying to divine their history. She was something of a messy eater, so the battle wounds of many a barbecue, spaghetti dinner, and hurried breakfast peppered the now off-white SATB club tee she'd gotten her second or third year in college choir. She thought back to a huge room with high ceilings. White, cinder block walls, flecked tile floors, a beautiful, glossy, black baby grand in front of a long whiteboard with black lines to resemble sheet music. She thought about the mnemonic device she'd learned to help her remember what notes appeared on each line, and in the spaces between them. She pondered the deeper meanings and implications of these devices. EGBDF…every good boy does fine. She thought about the "good boys" in her life. She knew many. Her dad, her brother Ethan, Sy, obviously, her many male coworkers and friends…and honestly they did far better than "fine." They were wonderful. But she was letting the "bad boys" she'd encountered dictate her mood. Permeate her psyche. Tear her down. She didn't want to be like this. Then FACE came to mind, and above their purpose of indicating the notes between the lines on the staff, they called her to action. To face these newly minted demons with all the strength she knew she possessed, and she too would "do fine." But as with almost all actions, this was easier said than done.

She felt a warm presence on her left hand which had paused it's torture of the now coffee-infused kitchen towel. Sy's hand was squeezing hers gently.

"Shane." he uttered, barely above a whisper this time. She looked at him through tears that she had not realized had formed. He continued.

"Shane, what can I do, darlin'? I'll do anything."

"Babe, you're doing everything you can, and more. This…this is all going to have to come from me. I…don't know when I'll be myself again…" she paused, tears streaming now. "I'm…I'm different."

"You're not though." he reached for her face, but she pulled away.

"I am, damn it! Sy, I was…" Words had power. And the one she was thinking of had more power than she thought was warranted. She knew that uttering it would take away it's power…and yet mustering the courage and strength to actually do so…seemed impossible. She took a deep breath, and disassociated herself from the statement, even though it was about her own past.

"I was raped." She refused to cry. She felt it all again. She had never said the words. She had never thought it necessary. Everyone understood. Sy, his friends, and she was sure her own loved ones had made the connection. But she knew she needed to say it now to drive home the points she was about to make.

Sy, looked at the table, nodding, not needing to be told in so many words something he already had surmised from the clear evidence. He remained silent. She went on.

"I love you, Sy. I have since the day we met, on one level or another, and I believe that I always will. But I…right now I can't be a proper girlfriend to you. I can't…be with you, touch you, be touched by you, in the way we used to be. In the way you deserve…and I don't know when…or even if…I ever will. Not that I don't want to. That's ALL I want in the world. To go back. To be the woman who fell in love with this…incredible man. To make love with you, but…I can't."

Sy's eyes were full of tears, their predecessors already descending his round cheeks and disappearing into his thick, dark beard.

"Sy, I don't want to lead you on and keep you tied to a relationship with no life in it. You deserve someone who's whole. Someone who can be a fully invested partner for you, and not this broken, damaged--"

"You stop that, Shane. I won't hear no more of this kinda talk. Y'hear? You're my girl. My woman. My person. No matter what. You gotta know I'd never leave ya just cuz you aren't ready for sex again. You don't think that I would, do ya?"

"Well, you went to Virginia…you took that job…knowing the distance it would put between us. Literally and figuratively."

"Biggest mistake of my life." Shane raised her eyebrows in surprise as Sy elaborated. "I couldn't focus on my classes without wishing you were there. Wishing I could team up with you for discussions and hand to hand combat training…that thought got me a little too excited, if you catch my drift." He smirked, pulling a sheepish smile from Shane. "Then in that forest. I dreamt about you every night. I thought of you constantly. I could barely breath sometimes, I missed ya so damned much. I was an idiot. I was insane to think that I needed anything other than you. Any MORE. There IS no more. You're it. You're the MOST! The most important thing in my life."

The declaration hung like vapors in the air, more felt than seen. Tangible yet ethereal.

"And when I found out that you were missing…I was…well, I think I looked like death…and not warmed over. You can ask the program director I met with after I got the news. She could tell I was just sick over it. And as I thought about it on the way home, pieced things together, started thinking about who'd taken you, I got murderous. Shane, I have been in dozens of battles, skirmishes, firefights, you name it. War. But…the sheer bloodlust I felt thinking about what you could be going through…I've never experienced anything like it. Everything was red. Everything. For days. Until I saw you, alive. And then it went red again when I saw the fear and damage on your face." she could tell he was doing his best not to talk about the farmhouse and that basement, but she still flashed back to the moments before and after his appearance there. The moments when she simultaneously prayed to live and hoped to die.

"You don't owe me anything, Shane. I just want you in my life, and I don't care what your presence looks like. Romantic, platonic, or somewhere in between. I'm here for you. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Shane felt the urge to wrap her arms around her boyfriend, but could not seem to move more than one arm to place her other hand on top of his. She hoped the gratitude and love behind the small, but heartfelt gesture landed. It was all she had in that moment, no matter how abundant her affection.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shane's family's arrival was a complete blur to her. It was joyous, tearful, and the happiest she'd been in a long time. The moment she opened the front door for them, she was surrounded, engulfed with hugs from her parents and siblings. They stood in their affectionate huddle for several moments before Peg waved Sy over with marked insistence. He'd been standing by, observing happily, but not wanting to intrude on the familial reunion.

When they finally dispersed, John asked the two younger men to help him bring in groceries. The women headed into Shane's bedroom for a more private setting in which to talk. Shane filled her mother and sister in the best she could given the rawness of the wounds left on her mind by the events.

She leaned against the headboard cuddling with Gabby while her mom rubbed her feet. She had insisted on doing this thing that had always comforted her children, and made them feel much better when they were younger.

"Well, I'm very proud of you, pumpkin." The girls both looked at their mother, who rather uncharacteristically hadn't spoken in some time. Shane was nonplussed. Peg elaborated.

"You survived something that many women don't. You're talking about it now, which even more women don't. You may think you're broken, but you're just a tree damaged by a storm, but standing stronger than ever." Trust her mom to lay such wisdom on her. When she felt like giving up. When she just wanted pity. When she could only see defeat. Her mother had always found a way to encourage and buoy her and show her the victory.

"Mom's right." Gabby affirmed, and it was Peg's turn to be nonplussed, as the two women, though similar in so many ways, never seemed to see eye to eye. "It's true. Shane I've seen a lot of women come into the clinic in shoes very much like yours. And trust me…some of them…they don't make it to this point. You've got a long way to go before you're fully recovered, don't get me wrong, but you'll get there. You have us. And you have Sy."

"And then there's Sy." She diverted. "How am I supposed to plan any sort of future with him when…" She looked at her mom, and hesitated. Peg rolled her eyes.

"Shane, I know what the two of you get up to when you're alone. You don't have to be shy with me."

"Still…" she took a breath and spoke. "When I can't bring myself to…sleep with him?"

"Look at him, you're kidding, right?" Gabby chided, insensitively, but recanted at the pained expression on Shane's face. "Sorry, sis. Trying to lighten the mood a touch. Too soon. But seriously, I don't think this reluctance you feel will be permanent."

"And even if it is," Peg took over, "that man is out-of-his-mind in love with you, Shaney." She kissed Shane's toe before putting a sock on her foot. "He almost seems to worship you. Now, you know how I feel about using that term outside of religious context, but that is exactly the kind of love I want for you. Devout, and unconditional."

"But, mom, I can't--"

"Did you hear me? I said 'unconditional,' sweetie." Peg interrupted. "No matter what. No matter the obstacle. No matter the distance. No matter the circumstances. Love unwavering. That's what Sy has for you. I've seen it in him. Trust the momma."

The insistence her mother placed on trust had always ruffled Shane's feathers. Gabby's too, who she could feel stiffen slightly beside her. But Shane, for once, really wanted to trust her mother, hoping against hope that she was right. And that she, herself wouldn't screw up the best relationship she had ever been in or was likely to ever be in again.

The girls had begun talking about some of the coworkers who'd brought food in the past week, and Peg couldn't resist remarking on the character of her favorites and judging the ones she didn't care for…oddly enough, getting more or less, the correct measure of them, as Shane saw it.

After what must have been an hour from the time they'd arrived, they heard a knock on the slightly ajar bedroom door. John poked his head in.

"Ladies, we've put a casserole in the oven, and completed various manly projects around the house--"

"Oh, daddy, what projects?" She cringed. She hated that the men had felt the need to "fix" things.

"Babe, your guest bathroom had not one, but two leaky faucets, your kitchen table seemed to be more of a teeter-totter, and half the light bulbs in the living room were out. Among other tiny things. You're welcome." he smirked his crooked smirk so similar to her own, and she returned it as if he was looking in a mirror.

"Thanks, dad."

"Anyway, lunch is almost ready. So, when you've finished your confab, let's eat."

Dinner passed amiably, Shane found a reserve within herself to allow some quasi-normal behavior, as long as you didn’t look too closely. She was talking animatedly with her siblings, making their parents and Sy laugh riotously. Shane noticed some odd looks passing between Sy and her father, but chalked it up to paranoia. She wished at least Gabby and Ethan could stay, but Heather would be over soon, and she deserved her own dedicated time. Shane wanted to give that to her.

She said her farewells to her family with promises to visit them the next day, and at least one more time before her siblings went back home, if she could work it out.

Sy was so wonderful the whole time. Standing by her, a hand resting lightly on her shoulder as they waved goodbye to the departing vehicle. He made her feel so safe. They went into the kitchen and cleaned up from lunch. Well, Sy cleaned. Shane was texting Heather about when she'd be over.

"Heather says she'll be here in about a half hour. She's picking up wine and pizza." Shane told Sy without looking up from her phone. She could see out of the corner of her eye, though, that he had just closed the dishwasher and was selecting a cycle.

"Sounds great. Do you want me to get out of here? Give you guys some time, one on one?" He asked as he dried his hands, wet from preparing dishes for the machine.

She thought about it, and shuddered. She played a scene in her head that startled her. In her mind's eye, she saw Sy leave and then moments later heard a knock on the door. Presuming it was Heather, she opened the door with abandon, only to see Elliott standing there under a flickering porch light, smirking maliciously at her and ready to overpower and abduct her again. She shook the thought from her head, but remained uneasy as she answered his question.

"Uh, no. Thanks. I'm sure she'll want to talk to both of us. She likes you." Shane grinned softly at Sy in an attempt to mask her trepidation over the thought of him leaving her alone for any period of time. She thought it had worked.

"Okay, well, whatever you think, sunshine. I don't wanna get in the way." He was wiping down the countertops. She felt so impossibly full of love for him, she was starting to wonder how she hadn't yet burst with it. She couldn't bear the thought of holding him back from a fulfilling relationship. He deserved everything she couldn't give him right now. And she knew she should make him leave her. Cut him loose. But she was, as she'd been since she'd met him, a weak woman. She couldn't stand the thought of being without him. Of him no longer being hers. And somehow worse, of not being his, herself. She would always need him for so many reasons, not least of which being her love for him. Maybe one day, she'd recover from this trauma, and be able to be who he deserved. To give him what he needed.

"You're never in the way, bear." She walked up behind him, wrapped her arms around his middle and squeezed him as tight as she could. He placed a loving hand over hers, sighing and smiling, though she had no visual proof of the latter. It was just a feeling.

Heather's greeting was no less exuberant than that of Shane's family, but it was more joyful and less emotional, even though she was immensely relieved to see her best friend after so long. They talked as if no time had passed, and Shane mustered up the dregs of her former self to have one more interaction for the day. Thank God it was Heather and not someone who would require more. She wouldn't have it to give.

"I am so glad you're okay, Shane! Things around the clinic have been bleak as fuck. Susan is loosing her mind, Anita is beside herself with concern, and the rest of us just plain ol' miss the hell out of you. And not just because of all of the overtime everyone has been pulling to get your patients seen."

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry! I didn't realize…wow, I'm awful. I didn't even think---"

"That you'd be missed? Think again, sister. The place would fall apart if you ever really left. But don't feel guilty. It's the least everyone can do, and they've all said it themselves. We all love you, and know that you'd do the same for any of us if you could at all. Hopefully you won't have to, though!"

Shane nodded, eyes wide in agreement. She wouldn't wish the last week of her life on her worst enemy. On the worst person in the world. Except maybe the people responsible. Tit for tat.

"Well, I'm sorry my absence has caused extra work for all of you." Shane looked into the deep glass of Chardonnay Sy had poured her from the bottle Heather had brought. She felt about as small as the air bubble making it's way up the sloping curve of the stemless vessel. She felt a guilt that she knew was fully void of logic. It made no sense for her to feel guilt for being kidnapped. But she had always had this notion, this nagging voice in her head that told her that her misfortunes were a direct result of her decisions. That she'd inadvertently stepped on the butterfly that resulted in the monsoon she was currently experiencing, and whatever cataclysmic events she would face next.

"Why in God's name are you apologizing for this, Shay?" Heather's tone was kind, but still mildly scolding.

"If I'd never been with Elliott, none of this would have--"

"Bitch, are you a fortune teller?"

"No, but--"

"Soothsayer?"

"No."

"Time traveler?"

"I wish!" Shane chuckled. But she really did wish.

"Have you any real and proven success at consistently predicting the future?"

"I don't, but--"

"No. No buts. No howevers. You had no idea what becoming involved with Elliott could have done. Were there signs, sure. But you can't look on the past as a rubric to judge the quality of your decisions. You know that. You can only learn from your mistakes. And you have."

"Heather's right, sunshine. You really have learned. You look for Elliott's behaviors in mine and shut me down quick if you see 'em. You're not going to let yourself go down that road again. And I'm proud of you for it."

Shane silently worried her wine glass. It was hard to argue with such truth. But it was hard to agree when her own feelings were in such stark opposition. So she did neither.

"Well, I've preached my sermon for the day." she laughed. "I've taken up enough of your time. Oh, your phone. It's in my purse. I think it's fully charged, but I turned it off."

Shane thanked her friend, then Heather hugged them both and took her leave.

"Y'okay, bug?" Sy asked her after what she surmised was several minutes of silence. Minutes she didn't notice as they passed.

"Mmm…" she trailed off.

"Can I do something for ya?" And she really thought about the question. He could probably do a lot of things for her. He could make love to her until she felt whole again, even if it hurt her at first. Not an ideal option. He could probably get them both some new identities and enough money to spirit her away to somewhere her past wouldn't follow. If she became someone new, literally, would she have to bring that old baggage, those old scars, with her? Again, suboptimal. But he could definitely take the source of all grief and turmoil in her life far into the Missouri back country, somewhere not even the hunters would venture, some fallow field or forgotten cistern, and end him. Snuff out his spark of life like a candle caught in a tornado. Spill a fatal amount of his monstrous blood onto the unforgiving earth and send him to the Hell to which he was undoubtedly destined. But did she want that? Did she want another soul as a scar on that of the man she so deeply cherished? He'd say it was worth it. He'd say he'd take a thousand more for her. A million. That was Sy.

"Nothing comes to mind." She lied. And he knew it was a lie, but didn't push it. She was so grateful that he respected her, not for the lie itself, but for the reason she wasn't giving him the whole truth just now.

His phone went off and he picked it up as he stood from his seat at the table. She could only hear that it was Matt, the guy she thought she understood had the car place, before she heard tension in Sy's voice. Even from the next room, she could tell something was wrong, though he was talking too quietly for her to make out words.

She heard him suddenly shout a stream of profanities that he rarely said at all around her, at least, let alone together. There was a bang, and the walls of her kitchen quaked like the tectonic plates beneath them were shifting.

Sy walked back in, his face was red, as were his knuckles. He was shaking an injury out of his hand.

"What's wrong?" she asked, deep concern at his appearance and demeanor, suddenly ominous.

"I need to fix your wall in there." he grumbled, evading, without success. She'd be doing therapy on his hand, next.

"What's really wrong?" she repeated, sternly.

"That was Matt. Elliott's…escaped, somehow. He's in the wind."

Shane's heart became so heavy, she could almost feel it smashing through the kitchen floor and burying itself deep in the cement floor of her basement.

"Oh, God! No! What if he goes to the police!?"

"Fuck that, I'm more concerned about him coming after you!"

The two stared, faces full of equal measures of concern for the other.

Up Next: Chapter 21-Patient Education

#netflix #netflix sand castle #captain syverson #Captain Syverson x OFC #captain syverson fanfic #sigh for sy #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x reader

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smorgasbordofobsessions · 3 years

Text

liveblog: kingsglaive final fantasy xv

some absolute king put the movie to the internet archive - thank you. of course, i hope i'm watching the right thing haha.

regis honestly just so -chefs kiss-

it's crazy how long the wall around Insomnia was up

love when the niffs fuck up a royal gathering

young ravus! love it

ravus yelling for regis to help them :(

wow this flashback is different than the one in the anime

luna's clothes are different

but the acitons are te same

so not that different

getting some lotr the two towers vibes from this battle scene and i'm here fo it

and i LOVE this dude's invisible power nice

nyx's voice sounds so familiar!

nyx: i'm worth the wait

loving him already

but i'm liking seeing the way all these warriors are interacting with each other. can definitely tell they've spent plenty of time in each other's pockets

oh the cerberus!! i really liked that entrance

oh wait, no, what fun daemon is this?????

in love with the way nyx is using the warp

now i can ask the question: where the fuck are they? clearly not in insomnia, unless this is set during noctis' rest? but it can't be since this is 12 yrs after lunafreya became a prisoner...

hm, it'll get explained to me

nyx is nothing without the king. please remember that nyx

hm, yes, we love king regis

an envoy from niflheim????

oh it's ardyn!!!!!

god, yes, yes, yes, we love ardyn

oh he's delicious i loe his grandstanding

oh he mentioned noctis, that's a no-no

oh??? ardyn proposed noctis and lunafreya to get married??

oh this is so fucking great wow thank you ardyn

hm so this one insomnia soldier doesn't like nyx, how nice

oh shit night life in insomnia??

whatever the music is is banging

i missed his name but the dude makes sense

but where did these kingsglaive soldiers come from if they're outsiders?

i love a strategic meeting

especially because of how you can see regis actually tremble from weakness

also, gotta say, it's amazing that regis has the strength to support the wall and the kingsglaive

hm regis accepted the truce

who the hell is clarus?? i know who he is, but more like where is he, so who is he in regis' little posse

commencing operation: infiltrate tenebrae

lunafreya looks GREAT

oh hello ravus

"whatt you believe does not concern me"

god, knowing what i know about ravus, it must've hurt him hearing his own sister call him a lap dog to the empire

they have cartoons????

going back a bit, wonder what was up with the van that crow saw. bit suspicious

mm what a sexy car

i fucking KNEW it was an audi

"what good will you be without the king's magic?"

oh that IS clarus okay

yo they really just came in and said "we'll take lunafreya thanks"

hm.. i have suspicious feelings about lunafreya

like maybe she's ardyn??

"my duty is my destiny, your majesty. i'm prepared to accept whatever my come to pass"

goddamn

oh so crow's defintiely dead

i keep missing his name, but this dude is so torn up over crow's death he ripped off the kingsglaive insignia

hm, so the dude is going rougue, and wow, that was overheard by three other glaives

eve of the signing ceremony...

doesn't that mean that noctis and co have left already, actually?

yes, it must, because regis wanted freya to meet noctis

so, yes, the freya in insomnia is absolutely... not ardyn

crutch dude has now joined a rebel group - i just hope he did some vetting and isn't about to talk to niffs

who is that general in the armor?? hm, interesting

oof nyx with that round bubble butt

lunafreya is missing, how nice and convenient when the treaty signing is about the happen

regis ordered the kingsglaive to go save lunafreya, nice

god, one of regis's last acts as king :(

"for hearth" "and home"

that's actually a nice call and response

god, i'd love to be a legilimens so i could read regis' thoughts. he must know what this is probably gonna be his last day on eos

the hoods are very asassin's creed and i like that inspiration

hm what fun whisper was that to the niff ambassador

oh wait that dude is the niff emperor my bad

hm, yes, we love double talk

mm sexy kills yes

god, yes, the game's afoot!

octopus in teh airship? kinky

we love traitors

oh wow the crystal has been deactivated :(

honestly though, humungous props to niflheim for diong this. like this is a BRILLIANT politcal move, it really is

yes we fucking love regis and clarus fighting together!!

"then let us once more into the fray, old friend"

WE ARE HERE FOR THAT!!!

so sad the outcome though :(

ouch, clarus!!

"we have broken the wall. all that remains is the break the city"

100% correct emperor

nyx is so exasperated by lunafreya

yeah this dude in the vest - like he thought he was gonna somehow be great under niff rule??

oh hello there ravus

ravus put on the ring and, hm, he wasn't found worhty

nyx is fighting the super souped up general

and it JUST occured to me that the reason why nyx sparks when he uses magic is because it's not his

so this is how luna got the ring okay

we love parallels

regis's last stand :(

:'(

oh so the crutch dude didn't do any vetting at all because he only found out that the other refugees were working with niflheim

slacking bro

but, now yo can do what you want and bring refugees into the city

idk why any one would that that niff would keep its word, but that's besides the point

hm, no airbags?

"true power is not something that is found by those who seek it. it is something that is found by those who deserve it."

crutch dude being called 'hero' = irony

haha this traitor put the ring on, idiot.

though lunafreya baited him a bit but i support that

wow this ring got passed around like a hot potato

I WANT TO KNOW THE CONVERSATINO IGNIS HAD WITH THE LUCII KINGS!!!!!!!

nyx has been found wothy - until dawn

crutch dude's name is libertus

libertus threw away the pills, good job!

oh ehll yea the statues are moving!! i iked seeing that in thhe game

caught way caught up in watching the movvie

i absolutely loved the fighting. all the moving parts were done amazingly well and the effects and graphics were stunning

honestly a great fight. truly enjoyed that.

though, both libertus and luna know what nys is definitely come with morning's light, it's nice of them to be optimistic

luna doesn't fit in with the other people but separate paths yes

okay nyx was aaron paul, regis was sean bean

i knew nyx's voice was familiar

what a good movie! i really enjoyed that

love that it helps flesh out what happened prior to signing day, and also showed us how good the kingsglaives are in combat

i liked that everything was so tense and there weren't too many motivations for why people turned traitor or fighting - everything came down to fighting for home (minus niff as a whole but that's an empire so given)

also, liked seeing how the ring got passed around,and seeing ravus try it on, though it was told to us in game he had

overall, good! the backstory provided was great and really does help develop the game more

#ffxv #liveblog

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littlemisssquiggles · 4 years

Note

What do you think of the idea of Emerald/Oscar? They have some soft moments together.

Hello Sweet o/ Well this squiggle meister is definitely on-board with the Green Team/Emerald City pair as a FRIEND-ship with Emerald being yet another proxy big sister figure to “adopt” Oscar as their close companion whereas the little prince in turn could finally provide Emerald with the strong and devoted family type of bond that Emerald truly wants and failed to garner from the villain side especially with Cinder Fall who she saw as a “mother” or close guardian figure who saved her from her former life of poverty.

Another reason why I like the Emerald City duo is because I’d like to think that part of Oscar’s willingness to believe in Emerald and desire to look out for her stems from him and Oz essentially fulfilling Hazel’s role of continuing to watch over her in his absence.

After all, it wasn’t just Oscar to be saved from Monstra. Emerald was too. Hazel Rainart gave his life to ensure that both Oscar and Emerald were finally free of Salem and since Hazel is gone, Oscar probably sees it as his right to stand by Em in his place; especially since he also owes her for his salivation.

Plus, a second reason why I think the showrunners may be pushing the Emerald City bond is because, ultimately, Emerald will become the next Fall Maiden; replacing Cinder Fall.

Think about it. Professor Ozpin was the Headmaster of Beacon Academy. Beacon Academy is the fortress secretly housing the Vault of the Fall Maiden which contains the Crown of Choice---the only relic that Salem couldn’t acquire on her own since the true path to claiming it still rests in Ozma’s memories. Memories that will soon be passed onto Oscar Pine who is Ozma’s current incarnate officially succeeding Professor Ozpin.

Even if Oscar gains the knowledge to locate the Relic of Choice; he and the heroes would still need the hand of the Fall Maiden to open the vault. And as it stands, the Fall Maiden powers still rest with Cinder Fall who Emerald Sustrai was a former affiliate of and whom she shares a bond with; whether Cinder dares to admit it or not.

You see where I’m going with this?

Emerald becoming the Fall Maiden after Cinder has been a headcanon for her that I’ve been rooting for since the conclusion of V5. Based on how things are shaping up and what is required to move forward, I think Cinder’s final curtain call may be drawing near and what would actually be most fitting is if Emerald is the one to deal the killing blow to Cinder.

As a matter of fact, it would almost be symbolic if Emerald is the one of all characters to be the one to put a stop to Cinder---not only saving the others from her but also ironically saving Cinder from herself. Emerald killing Cinder would be an act of mercy from someone who genuinely loved Cinder and wanted nothing but the best for her. And why I love this idea is because it would be a fantastic parallel to the end of Cinder’s backstory in the Midnight episode.

In RWBY V8CH6, Cinder’s path and descent in her megalomaniac madness was forged the instant she killed Rhodes. Say what you will about him as a character; Rhodes cared deeply for Cinder…even up until the moment she cut him down with the very same weapon he gifted her.

So with that in mind, imagine how fitting of an ending it would be if Cinder died the very same way she was ‘born’, essentially.

You can pretty much say that the person we know Cinder Fall to be was born when she killed her former mentor and the one person in her life that actually genuinely cared about her at the time.

So…imagine the poetic irony that would be for Cinder Fall to now die---killed by the hands of her own former apprentice and the one person in her life who genuinely cared about her at the time---Emerald Sustrai.

Imagine if…Emerald kills Cinder and Cinder gets a strange sense of déjà vu because not only did her surprised expression at being killed by Emerald reflect the one Rhodes made to her the night he died but through Emerald, Cinder sees her former young self---the side of her she discarded when she chose her path that night.

Cinder began her path with the bloody end of a blade through the chest of someone close to her. So for Emerald to kill Cinder the same way---even better if it’s done with her very own weapon---then that would be…downright perfect as ending to Cinder’s arc.

Apologies to all the Cinder Fall fans reading this post. The CRWBY showrunners have had Cinder dance with death one too many times. I myself have honestly been curious about how Cinder’s story was going to end in the canon. While I still like my Red Queen headcanon for her, I would be okay with Cinder dying if Emerald was the one to kill her.

NOT Ruby. NOT Jaune. But Emerald. If there is one character who would be most fitting to be the one to put an end to Cinder Fall, it would be Emerald.

Killing Cinder, especially if it was done in protection and/or aid of the heroes, would be the final nail in Emerald’s own arc of “switching sides”.

As stated back between V6 and V8, Cinder was technically the one thing still tying Em to the side of evil as she once remarked that she was only on Salem’s side out of her loyalty to Cinder. Emerald already left Salem but Cinder still lives as an anchor to possibly tempt Em back to the side of evil. But if Em were to be the one to stop Cinder, then that cord would finally be cut thus cementing Emerald as being on the side of good---officially in respect to her story.

Emerald helping to save Oscar and return him to his allies on Monstra doesn’t make her a “good guy”. Emerald helping our heroes take down Ironwood, help Penny and save the refugees of Atlas and Mantle doesn’t even make her a “good guy” either.

But stopping Cinder Fall for good---to be the one to put her down and essentially save everyone from the monster she knew Cinder would ultimately become if not stopped--- that, to me, would be the move to officiate Emerald Sustrai as a “good guy”.

Even better if Cinder were to plant the tough choice right in Em’s face. Imagine if…Cinder puts Oscar’s life in danger and orders Em to be the one to kill Oscar for her; like the devoted pawn she always treats her as. Imagine if…Em is placed in a position where she is made to choose between her old loyalty to Cinder as a villain or her newfound loyalty to Oscar as a hero.

Just as how Cinder was Emerald’s anchor to the villains on Salem’s side, Oscar is technically now Emerald’s anchor to the heroes on Ozpin’s side. So if Cinder forces Em to kill Oscar but Em ends up killing Cinder instead to save Oscar for a second time----this would be it. This would be the deed that cements Emerald as formally giving up on Cinder and fighting for the side of good; at least in my humble opinion.

And the cherry on top would be that killing Cinder causes the Fall Maiden powers to go directly to Emerald and if Emerald becomes the Fall Maiden---the maiden tied to the vault and relic housed in the school that is tied to Professor Ozpin whose very successor is her closest ally on the hero team---I’d like to think this would be a perfect conclusion to Emerald’s “arc”. I think that could work epically.

This is why I’m rooting for Em to become the next Fall Maiden. This happening would definitely further cement the Emerald City dynamic since Oscar’s new “big sister” or rather “cousin” would be the maiden tied to “his” relic needed to open “his” vault hidden in “his” school.

(I think I’d rather refer to Emerald as Oscar’s adopted cousin since I low-key like the concept of Oscar taking Emerald back home with him to Mistral only for her to be adopted immediately by his family since Emerald was an orphan who grew up on the streets and never truly had a family of her own but ultimately finds one with the Pines who willingly take her in. It FITS; dagnabbit.)

My one gripe with Emerald City duo though is that I wished it had better build-up throughout the series run. I’d be lying if the fact that Emerald and Oscar barely had any interactions prior to V8 definitely hurts the believability of them suddenly being close now with Oscar willing to vouch for the good in Emerald…even though he literally just met her like yesterday according to the timeline.

I know it helps the meme of Emerald “only knowing Oscar for 24 hours and would be willing to kill anyone who dares to hurt him” but from a storytelling perspective, I really wish the development of this dynamic had been delivered better. I mean I’m happy that we finally got the payoff of Emerald and Oscar becoming friends and seeing Em joining the heroes thanks to her friendship with Oscar…but it’s like eating a delicious cheese burger without the cheese.

You get to see the beginning of it and the joyful payoff of the end but the middle part that was needed to make it fully work is non-existent and ends up hurting it in respect to consistency.

While I understand that Emerald helped to save Oscar’s life---that’s not really enough to sell his sudden faith in her. At least for me. Can’t speak for everyone else. Since, like I said, we barely got any scenes of Oscar and Em interacting before she showed up to help get him out of Monstra.

The ONLY thing that’s canonically helping sell Emerald City to me is the fact that Hazel was shown to care for and look out for Emerald’s wellbeing in the past and since Oscar spent more time with Hazel; by extension; custody of Em was transferred to Oscar/Oz the minute Hazel died…especially since, he was technically the one forced to kill him when he sacrificed himself to stop Salem.

I guess I just personally would’ve liked to have seen these two interact more over the seasons, particularly for V8 while Oscar was imprisoned.

Perhaps that chance will come now that Em is on the team working with ALPN. And it would probably work even better if Em becomes the Fall Maiden. But for now that’s mostly just speculation.

All in all, bottom line---as I’ll say again, this squiggle meister really likes Emerald City as another close friendship dynamic for Oscar and Em respectively and I’m looking forward to seeing how this dynamic develops over the next season.

I’m curious to see how much more Em and Oscar can help each other as friends especially since Oscar still has own inner demons with the Merge to deal with emotionally and I’m especially curious to see how Em would react to reuniting with Mercury in Vacuo now that she’s joined the heroes---even better if she’s now the Fall Maiden after killing Cinder.

That should be a fun development but we’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, hope this lengthy response answers your question, Sweet XD

~ LittleMissSquiggles (2021)

#squiggles answers: rwby #oscar pine #emerald sustrai #cinder fall #rwby volume 8 spoilers #rwby emerald city #rwby volume 8 theories #sweetgm2

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