#honestly terrified of how this is gonna go
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baby fever // alexia putellas
a/n : maybe it’s because i’m ovulating, but i feel like im having withdrawals from my child (i don’t have a child)
warnings : none!!
“Alexia,” you said, flopping onto the couch dramatically, your phone clutched in one hand. “Look at this baby. Look. Isn’t this proof we should have one?”
She glanced up from her iPad, one brow raised. “That’s the fifth baby you’ve shown me today.”
“Because they’re soooo cute! And we could have one!” You shoved the phone under her nose, showing her a TikTok of a giggling infant in a tiny onesie. “Imagine our baby. They’d have your eyes, my—”
Alexia cut you off with an amused smirk. “We’ve talked about this, cariño.”
“No, you’ve talked about logistics,” you shot back, sitting cross-legged beside her. “I’ve talked about how I want a baby, like, yesterday.”
She sighed, setting the iPad down. “I’m not saying no. I’m saying it’s a big decision. And with everything we have going on—your work, my schedule—it’s not the right time.”
“Then I’ll carry!” you declared, your voice rising with excitement. “You can keep playing, and I’ll do all the hard parts. It’s perfect!”
Alexia blinked at you, her eyes narrowing slightly. “You’ve… really thought about this, haven’t you?”
“For months,” you said earnestly, grabbing her hand. “I don’t care about logistics or timing. I just know I want to do this with you.”
Her gaze softened, but there was still hesitation. “I’m not against it, amor. I just want to make sure we’re ready. Both of us.”
You groaned, flopping backward into her lap. “If you won’t listen to me, I’ll get backup.”
Alexia frowned. “What does that mean?”

————————
It meant enlisting Mapi and Ingrid.
“Finally!” Mapi said when you brought up your idea at training. She threw her hands in the air dramatically. “I’ve been telling Alexia for years she needs to let loose a little. Having a baby is perfect.”
“Right?” you said, clutching Mapi’s arm. “Imagine her as a mamá. So nurturing, so responsible—”
“And terrifying,” Mapi added, smirking. “Disciplining kids with that captain energy? Iconic.”
Ingrid chimed in from beside her. “Honestly, we’re on board. Do it, and we’ll be the godparents.”
“You’d have to fight Mariona for it,” you teased.
Mapi scoffed, draping an arm over Ingrid’s shoulder. “Please. I’m already the cool tía. It’s a done deal.”
Ingrid smiled softly, giving you a nudge. “Besides, we think you’re for perfect carrying the baby. You’re already glowing just talking about it.”
“You get it,” you said dramatically, pointing at Ingrid like she’d solved world hunger. “Why can’t Alexia see it?”
“Oh, she does,” Mapi said knowingly. “She’s just pretending to be logical about it. She’ll come around. Trust me.”
—————————
The breakthrough came at a team barbecue, thanks to Ingrid and Mapi’s nephew, little Liam, who’d stolen your heart the moment you met him.
“You’re so perfect,” you cooed, holding him close as he gurgled in your arms. “The cutest baby ever.”
Across the yard, Alexia watched you from a distance. Mapi elbowed her lightly, smirking. “You’re staring, capi. You look like you’re about to cry.”
“I’m not crying,” Alexia muttered, though her gaze softened as she watched you bounce Liam gently.
“You’re thinking about it, though,” Ingrid said, stepping up beside them.
Alexia sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I just—”
“You’re overthinking,” Mapi interrupted. “Classic Alexia. Look, you’re already a leader. A protector. It’s who you are. Being a mom? You’d be incredible. And (Y/N)? She’s ready. You can see it in her face.”
Alexia didn’t answer, but her thoughtful expression spoke volumes.
Later, as you cradled Liam, Alexia finally approached.
“Look at him,” you said, smiling as Liam giggled and reached for her. “He’s perfect. And soon, he’ll have a little friend. Isn’t that right, Ale?”
Alexia raised a brow. “What?”
“Our baby!” you explained, beaming. “He’s gonna have a friend, and they’ll grow up together, and it’ll be so cute.”
Alexia reached out hesitantly, letting Liam grab her finger. She froze, visibly melting at the tiny hand gripping hers. Mapi and Ingrid exchanged smug looks from across the yard.
Alexia sighed, her voice quiet. “You’re really not letting this go, are you?”
“Not a chance,” you said, grinning. “Come on, Ale. Let’s do it. I’ll carry, you’ll be the hot football mum, and Mapi and Ingrid are already fighting to be the godparents.”
“We’re winning,” Mapi called from nearby, raising a beer.
Alexia laughed softly, shaking her head. “Fine.”
Your eyes widened. “Wait. Fine?”
“Yes,” she said, smiling at your stunned expression. “But we’re doing this properly. No rushing.”
“Whatever you say, mamá,” you teased, setting Liam in his stroller before throwing your arms around her. “Let’s go make a baby!”
“That’s… not how it works,” she said, pulling back slightly.
“Oh, right,” you said, blushing. “I knew that.”
Her laughter was warm as she leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “I can’t wait to see you glowing, amor. And for the record… Mapi and Ingrid are not automatically the godparents.”
“We’ll see about that!” Mapi shouted, earning another laugh from both of you.
As Alexia’s hand rested gently on your stomach, you knew everything was about to change. But for the first time, it felt like a change you were both ready for.
#alexia x reader#alexia putellas one shot#alexia putellas fanfic#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas imagine#alexia putellas#alexia putellas fic#i want a baby so bad you don’t understand
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Oh, no PROBLEM, life happens, and I'm just glad you're doing better!
And it's never too late to pick fun things back up. I had to dig around for the notes i made for the next bit of this, and then re-read it over, because it HAS been a year! XD
SO, okay, a part 7!
YES, I am SO GLAD the way Frodo is NOT having a great or easy time came across! I’d hoped that would work! It can be hard, when your body changes and suddenly you’re not capable of the same stuff you were. I was trying to convey that kind of dysphoria.
Maedhros! Maedhros is HAVING A DAY. A good day! A MIRACULOUSLY GOOD DAY.
The kind of good day he can barely trust is REAL bc, lbr, he hasn’t really had a good day innnn. Um. Lets just say a long time. So this is the kind of day that has him covertly running mental checks just to make sure this is still reality. He keeps counting Maglor’s freckles and running his finger tips over his horse and her tack, and the tooling on his belt and faulds just to check that the things he’s seeing, and sensations he feels match up right.
He can at least throw himself into logistics a bit here, first in chivying all the escaped thralls our Intrepid (and exhausted) Heroes have been herding to safety in Himring.
Then he corrals Celegorm and Curufin. (This ended up mostly dialogue!)
Maedhros: *stares pointedly*
C&C: Err.
Maedhros: *calm and measured* I have heard what you’ve been up to in Nargothrond, brothers. Rest assured, I WILL be taking that out of your hides later. For now though *points at the crowd of people filling the hall behind them* Exactly WHAT happened to do THAT?
Curufin: Honestly we don’t KNOW, Nelyo!
Celegorm: When we caught up to them, Finrod, Beren, Luthien, Huan, Tyelpe and that Annatar ner were already gone off to Angband, leaving Finrod’s steward and Frodo to hold the camp.
Maedhros: *blinks* Frodo? Who? And what kind of a name is that? (Note: Frodo is WESTRON it’s gotta sound SO WEIRD to the elves tbh. He’s definitely gonna get slapped with a proper elven name at some point here. Elves gotta give people extra names after all especially in the first age)
C&C: *baffled kind of shrugs*
Curufin: *glowers* The boy is SOMEWHERE in the crowd. He’s remarkably cagey for a boy who can’t be more than 80, and I haven’t been able to corner Tyelpe about him yet, but he rather looks REMARKABLY like that Annatar. And Mother. And Grandfather. (Note: Frodo probably doesn’t look quite like a teenager really, but he’s so coltish in his new body, that’s coming across as youth to the elves that see him)
Maedhros blinks at that. Well. He never thought Tyelpe the sort, but, well, Curufin had been a bit smothering since they’d come to Beleriand. He’s thought Tyelpe was weathering it with more grace and patience than was usually found in their line, but maybe he’d just decided to go around his father? He wouldn’t be the first in the family for that. (Note: yesss Mae, make some logical conclusions with the info you have! Compare him to you and Finno a bit! You’re VERY wrong but it’s still a good guess!)
Celegorm: He’s got one of Tyelpe’s hairclips. One of the ones father made.
Maedhros: *eyebrows* Interesting. But, at this moment, irrelevant. We can sort that out later. What else can you tell me?
Celegorm: A few hours after we got there, the whole ground heaved like a shaken table cloth. Then some hours after that, Tyelpe and everyone came out of the night leading that lot *waves a hand a the hall* Tyelpe had the silmarils.
Curufin: There wasn’t really TIME to stop and ask questions. We regrouped and lit out for Himring. Luthien is TERRIFYING by the way. She provided the bulk of the power, her and that Annatar. We pitched in too but them, us, Finrod, and Tyelpe have been cycling songs of power for- *blinks* How long has it been since Angband shook, Nelyo?
Maedhros: thirteen days and nights.
Curufin: *sputters*
Celegorm: Huh. No wonder I want to sleep for a week. I haven’t done a march like that since I was with The Hunt. *waves* Anyway, we talked to a few of the thralls, and from what few who were in the throne room said, Luthien walked in all lovely and enchanting, and sang with three voices. It put Morgoth out like a fussy toddler. And then the wolves and the orcs, and even the balrogs, everything evil, dropped where they stood as well. The orcs were dead. No one checked the balrogs. Then Luthien’s man climbed the throne and took the crown and passed it down to Tyelpe. Then he and Annatar left and came back with BLASTING powder and lined the place while Morgoth slept.
Maedhros: *wheezing incredulous laugh*
Curufin: Annatar said the dragons were UNDER the throne room Nelyo. All the eggs, all the breeding stock.
Maedhros: *squints* *head tilt* wait. *slow blink* How would he KNOW that? I didn’t know that, and I know Angband as well as any former thrall.
C&C: *exchanged uneasy glances*
Curufin: We’re not sure. Finrod and Tyelpe trust him though. And, there’s Frodo. *vague hand wave* We heard some snatches of conversation, but nothing that makes much sense.
Maedhros: Right. Where’s Maglor? Nevermind, I saw him with Luthien, I’ll get them, and find Finrod. You round up Tyelpe and this Annatar fellow, and bring them up to my study. See if you can find the Frodo lad you mentioned.
Maedhros needs to corral all the important people ASAP and GET SOME ANSWERS.
He’s able to locate Maglor being charming at Luthien and Beren fairly quickly. Whereas Celegorm and Curufin look as if they’ve been on a hard march for days, Luthien, apart from the general grime of travel in the wilds, looks fresh as a daisy in may. Exactly how much power does she HAVE?? Never mind, one thing at a time. She and Beren graciously accept an invitation to a more private area. They’ve eaten and washed a bit, same as the throng of ex-thralls, but it’s VERY crowded. And They want to talk to Tyelpe, Finrod, Frodo, and Annatar too. They know more than Maedhros! But there wasn’t a LOT of time for other questions after establishing that there was some kind of time travel going on!
Tyelpe and Annatar aren’t hard to locate either. They knew this was coming. A quick wash up and food, and maybe a change of clothes, and it’s on to the Next Thing.
Note: oh. Huh. I didn’t think of it before, but I wonder what Annatar and Frodo are WEARING??? Some casual Valinorin clothes? I bet they were NOT dressed for getting dropped in the past! If it was just like, vibes based, maybe some clothes Annatar thinks of as ‘comfy’ rather than anything either of them might have been wearing before they were dropped into the past, since their bodies were created for this unlike Tyelpe or Finrod!
Annatar reluctantly taps on Frodo’s mind, and tells him Maedhros is collecting them.
Frodo, by this point, is not crying anymore, but is the kind of wrung out EXHAUSTED, that only days and days of rough travel and then a fierce crying jag will make you. Finrod almost offers to carry him, but Frodo just sets his mouth and gets up off the stone floor, doggedly putting one foot in front of the other and plodding along next to Finrod, who directs him around the crowd and into the keep proper.
Maedhros was somehow NOT expecting this Frodo child to look as much like family as Curufin and Celegorm insisted, but oh dear, if anything they understated it. He looks VERY much like the elf called Annatar. The hair, the skin, the eyes, but the other features. They were right, and Maedhros can see little echoes of his kin all over him.
He’s also swaying where he stands next to Finrod, with red eyes and tear tracks through the wilderness grime on his face. (Remember, Frodo skipped the wash up and clothes change area. Finrod too. I’m sure once they get through the first awkward conversation, someone will get them each a basin and some clean clothes!)
Maedhros makes eye contact with Finrod and jerks his chin at the soft couch set before the fireplace. Finrod takes the hint, and leads the young ner that is, in all likelihood Maedhros’s grand-nephew over and gently pushes him down on it.
Maedhros turns his attention to Tyelpe, and also Annatar. Tyelpe steps around Maedhros, and slings the crown off his torso and sets it down on Maedhros’s desk where it thuds down with a surprisingly light thump for a thing wrought of iron and misery.
Maedhros: So. Explain. Lady? This seems to have started with you?
Luthien shrugs gracefully, and sets herself down in Maedhros’s towering armchair before the fire and tells her part of the story. It is, thankfully, lacking the canon bits of C&C capturing her and being creepy assholes! Because Tyelpe stole Huan and met up with her before that could happen here!
When she’s finished with her part, with input from Beren, and Finrod, Maedhros turns and raises his eyebrows at his nephew.
Some very speaking looks are exchanged rapidly between Finrod and Tyelpe and Annatar and Frodo.
Finally Tyelpe just shrugs helplessly.
Tyelpe: Uncle, we have NO IDEA. One minute we’re in Fourth Age Tirion, the next I’m in Nargothrond and Finrod is in Sauron’s Tower, and Annatar and Frodo are there too. And Frodo is an elf.
Maedhros. Blinks. And replays that. Nope. Still makes absolutely NO sense.
Maglor: … I’m sorry, what?
Tyelpe: We’ve done this before. It all went SO much worse. Annatar wasn’t there before, though, or Frodo.
Finrod: Well. Annatar sort of was. Why are there two of you now, by the way? That’s. Kind of alarming.
Annatar: When I spoke to the One, and was changed, I was FUNDAMENTALLY changed. To hazard a guess, when this… Event happened, I was too different to integrate with my former self. He is maiar, I am elven. I came to my senses, he’s still following his shining plan.
Frodo: And me?
Annatar: We share something of our spirits on a deep level. And since hobbits have not woken yet, and will not for many many years yet, I imagine this was the only way for you to have a form here and now.
Frodo: *watery chuckle* Oh. Yes I suppose that makes sense.
Please imagine Maedhros and Maglor and C&C ping-ponging back and forth here, COMPLETELY CONFUSED by this conversation. But desperately trying to add up the bits they’re hearing into some kind of coherent narrative. Maedhros is squinting at Annatar with sudden DEEP suspicion.
Maglor: I’m sorry, can we back up a bit here? Fourth Age VALINOR????
Tyelpe: *sighs* *sits down next to Frodo* We all might as well sit down, this is going to take a while.
^__^
HEY.
I had the most interesting dream after falling asleep switching between the latest chapter of The Horrowing and a time travel fix it in another fandom. I thought you might enjoy a brief summary?
Post fic canon Annatar, Finrod, Celebrimbor, and Frodo getting the most hilarious do over of the First Age.
Finrod and Celebrimbor got dropped in their past bodies, bc same souls. Which has Finrod JUST captured by Sauron, before any of his 10 have been munched.
Celebrimbor is of course having a surreal not quite panic attack in Nargothrond.
Annatar, well. Annatar is CHANGED. He is quite literally too different from what he once was for them to qualify as the same soul anymore. Which is gratifying. If inconvenient bc there are now TWO of him, Annatar and full on Sauron. But they're similar enough that Annatar was dropped very close to Sauron.
Frodo is an elf. Dream logic was that hobbits do not exist yet, and his soul has touches of Annatar and Aman. He looks disconcertingly like a mix of Annatar and Celebrimbor, and they are NOT thinking about that right now. Hopefully ever.
Most of the dream centered around all of them doing their best to set aside freak outs, while getting Finrod and his merry band (plus Beren) OUT of Sauron's grasp.
There was a FANTASTIC moment where on the way out, Sauron comes face to face and soul to soul with Annatar and he's just like;
Sauron: *jaw dropped fully horrified face* WHAT are YOU?!?!?
Annatar: *shoving elves behind him, nose in the air* Wouldn't YOU like to know, weather boy. *uses Song to blast him through a wall while he's distracted*
The whole thing featured 10 other elves and Beren as a baffled peanut gallery.
Meanwhile Celebrimbor is weighing the pros and cons of just- drugging his uncles and shoving them in a back room somewhere where he can bolt the door. He thinks he can maybe get Huan to help if he explains?
It was SO much fun.
(hope you have a good day!)
Oh my god. This may be the best ask I've ever gotten, for so many reasons.
The fact that your subconscious was like "Yeah if Frodo's getting a new body it looks like Annatar For Some Reason"
The image of future!Annatar getting into a fight with Sauron in front of Finrod (probably happy about this development) and Beren and the other 10 (INCREDIBLY CONFUSED)
The fact that the dream was partially centered on everybody trying not to panic, which is in fact what the Harrowing is all about for a while
Absolutely incredible.
...I feel so bad for poor Celebrimbor dealing with Nargothrond all by himself while the others are off having adventures. I hope their next stop after the rescue is to swing by and pick him up. Also, I dearly want to know what Annatar has to say to Beren on the subject of his current Luthien-and-Thingol-and-Silmarils situation.
#IT LIVES#the harrowing#time travel AU#fun stuff#my writing#the silmarillion#we return to our intrepid heroes and they're tired and still have to TALK ugh#thats always terrible right?
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Well hello there, folks, welcome to my little slice of paradise, what's your poison for today?
Are you interested in becoming intimately familiar with the madness and chaos, the pure unadulterated gremlin-ness that is my diner (and by proxy, the patrons (read: muses) of said diner)? Perhaps you're looking for a fresh new take on Hatsune Miku, the famed idol? Or you're hoping to broaden your horizons, peer deep into the Void? Maybe you're old-school, and want to interact with an Undertale muse / one with ties to Undertale? Who knows, it could just be that you stumbled here accidentally, and didn't notice the fishing lines waiting to reel you in, until it was too late. After all, little morsels, once you step foot in here, you're mine.
I'm a semi-selective rp blog for several muses, some of them "canon" characters, most of them not. Hope you'll join me for the ride, though!
#mun tag#hihi!!! been a While since i've been here on tumbublr so i hope nyall will treat me well ovo#first post on new blog woo#honestly terrified of how this is gonna go#but figured i would join again#wanted to interact more with Friends#but am Spicy Fear over everything :')
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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Don't forget the reason the U.S. is supporting Israel's genocide of Palestine - hell, 90% of the reason they ever get involved into something in the Middle East is for ulterior purposes regarding oil.
That and the Ben Gurion Canal project, which you can learn more about:
Also this short video explaining the canal's significance and full history in summary:
Simply put,
#free palestine#israel is a genocidal state#israel is a terrorist state#fuck america#fuck israel#comic pic is from persepolis btw#which is an autobiography of the author growing up in iran during the iranian revolution#not to mention how the US destabilized iran bc their democratically elected leader was gonna nationalize its oil for iran#and they put someone who would play ball for them in charge#its always about the oil#EVEN IN THE MIDST OF EVERYONE GOING “THE FUTURE ISNT VIABLE W FOSSIL FUELS”#WE SHOULD BE LOOKING FORWARD FOR USING AND TRANSITIONING TO RENEWABLE ENERGY SOURCES#BUT THE CAPITALISTIC FUCKS WANT MONEY NOW#AT THE EXPENSE OF HUMAN LIVES#THE LIVES OF ARABS AND BROWN PPL INDIGENOUS TO PALESTINE NOTE THAT#aaaaaaand of course the canal#much easier than dealing w egypt#for both israel and america#israel will be onboard w them and they'll have a way of strengthening their grip on the middle east and world economy#this is honestly disgusting and terrifying#egypt#suez canal
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WOOO HERE WE GO!! REACTIONS TO THE LAST EPISODE!!! SPOILERS!!!
^ i feel like i'm gonna laugh at that later.
oh my god the stop motion is gorgeous
jinx why are you doing that
JINX
SILCO'S CHAIR??? THE LAST DROP???
JINX NO DON'T KILL YOURSELF. OH MY GOD THAT'S THE SAME WAY SHE KILLED MILO AND CLAGGOR. I'M UNWELL
EKKO!!! BOY SAVIOUR DEAREST!!! BEST BOY!!!
HSJAHHAA THE WAY EKKO KEEPS CANCELLING JINX SETTING OFF THE BOMB THING
"always a dance with you" after he just danced with her in an alternate timeline :((
and her hair is short like there too now :((
"see if i can talk an old friend out of blowing us up" when she already blew them both up in season 1 during the bridge fight. oh the parallels. arcane you make me sick
watching the intro again, blind, for the last time ever. not skipping this time out of respect. as it plays, let me just say that suicidal jinx is written so beautifully and so accurately i am actually worried about the arcane writers. especially with the "please let me go" lyric playing right before the intro, when ekko is trying to make jinx not kill herself (and him)
aftercare ❌ planning a fight that starts a war ✅
anyway in season 1 the writers used a deez nuts joke, so i am choosing to believe that whatever is going on with the vi pov flashes is their take on the "subtle foreshadowing" trend. i will die on this hill
oh my god the parallel between vi freezing up when she sees blue hair under the enforcer's helmet and jinx freezing up in season 1 when one of the firelights was a girl with short pink hair. arcane writers i will have your heads on SIGHT.
on another note, this show is honestly one of parallels. by that logic i am declaring my last prediction, five minutes into the last episode; the season will end either with an explosion or with a fight on the bridge. i'm thinking explosion
naurr ambessa what the fuck that was NASTY
not the noxians sniping the sniper.. foul.
is that warwick???
LORIS NO
maddie is so cute you guys i can't even lie i get why caitlyn went for her
poor vi man she always gets more trauma
HELL YEAH BLUE ENFORCER GUY
IT DID NOT JUST GET JAMMED. WITH A FUCKING SCREW. WHY NOT COVER SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART UP???
boss music playing when ambessa shows up was not on my bingo
THE MADDIE BETRAYAL OH MY GOD. I MEAN I SAW IT COMING BUT IT'S SO GOOD. MAYBE THAT'S WHY IT'S SO GOOD. OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS GODDAMN SHOW.
anyway as i was saying boss music playing when ambessa shows up was not on my bingo card but it definitely should've been. that got a cackle out of me
did ambessa just say the professional version of "i told you so". that's what vi told caitlyn to tell her. now caitlyn is being told that
HOLY SHIT FUCK YEAH CAHOLY SHIT NO CAITLYN DON'T GET STABBED
yeah bitch doesn't feel so good to get hurt near your hip and be left whimpering now does it. this is how vi felt you ASSHOLE
HAAA NOT MADDIE GETTING SHOT BY HER OWN BULLET. ICONIC
MEL MEDARDA FUCK YEAH
why is humming intensifying OH FUCK YEAH JINX HELL YEAH THIS IS SO ICONIC JINX I LOVE YOU
HELL YEAH ZAUNITES!!!
the parallel between us being shown jinx fighting the firelights on a ship in season one. and now jinx is on a ship fighting WITH the firelights. parallels will be my undoing.
mel is iconic that's all i have to say
the hexcore is HOLLOW???
oh Wish!jesus how did you sneak in
EHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU
OH MY GOD THOSE CREATURE THINGS ARE TERRIFYING
SEVIKA NO DON'T TURN TO JESUS
HAAA THE BITCH SLAP
THE JESUS CREATURES ARE SO SCARY
NO DON'T KILL VI. DO NOT KILL VI.
OH MY GOD WARWICK LEAVE JINX ALONE
OH MY GOD EKKO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAVING VI
AND THEN VI SAVES JINX. THIS IS THE GOLDEN TRIO I DON'T CARE
"choice is false" fuck you too viktor. i CHOOSE that you are a fuckwad
ambessa trying to stab caitlyn in the eye, jinx stabbing silco in the eye (with that needle). parallels
not caitlyn ending the fight with the blade that was INSIDE OF HER THIGH
"a wolf has no mercy" may be the most satisfying callback i have ever seen
...eh? mel sent ambessa to black rose but then took her back out?
"you are the wolf" do not make me cry. this is like "you're perfect" (silco to jinx) but with more context and layers and oh my god i'm gonna be SICK.
viktor you are NOT about to force corrupt jayce.
"i'm always with you" // "you were always with me; whispers on the street, hairs on the back of my neck" arcane writers i LOATHE you and that's a compliment
warwick leave my girls alone.
"dad?" i'm gonna CRY.
the way jinx just starts shooting again with no clear target. girl please remember what happened to silco
jinx + vi vs. vander and viktor vs. jayce was something i NEVER saw coming before i started watching season 2. i also did not expect to see it happen IN THE SAME SPACE.
the jesus follower creatures: *cutely tilts head at jayce*
oh my god viktor corrupted all my favourite girls. ekko do not get corrupted please i am begging
jayce is conscious within the jesus verse?
WOOO BOY SAVIOUR!!!
NOOO EKKO
YAAAYYY EKKO
NOOO EKKO
ekko how far did you just rewind
"that device can't be" ok and? yet it is still
viktor is losing jesusness? "losing my faith" moment?
"all i want is my partner back" jayce i WILL cry.
VIKTOR IS THE MAGE MAN IN THE HOOD THAT SAVED JAYCE'S MOM CONFIRMED!!! MY LONGEST THEORY HELL YEAH!!!
"in all timelines, in all possibilities, only you can show me this." you might as well have written him a love song, viktor.
viktor pushing jayce away like vi and caitlyn pushed each other away in the intro.
oh the art is so hauntingly majestic.
sorry did jayce just DIE.
holy shit it's raining bodies!!!
no i'm on jinx's side VI WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING
OH MY GOD WARWICK WHAT THE FUCK
poor jinx is being traumatised
OH MY GOD THEY'RE ALL DYING. IT'S BODIES BODIES BODIES UP IN HERE
"always with you, sis," i already talked about the always with x parallels but i think my heart just shattered into a million pieces and then got stomped on over and over again and the pieces were reassembled to spell out "FUCK YOU ARCANE VIEWERS" because WHAT THE FUCK ARCANE WRITERS WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK YOU YOU FUCKS??? WHAT THE FUCK???
oh my god that's jayce's mom right there :(
sevika is a councilor now oh my god i have so many thoughts
singed's daughter is alive??
fuck you black crow
omg is noxus mel's now
is vi okay???
vi!!! NO YOU ARE NOT SINGING THAT SONG.FUXJ YOU ARCANE WRITERS I'M GONNA SOB
(the series ending with the same song it started with being hummed. FILTHY. perfect circle, perfect parallel, i should've seen it coming, i didn't. i am ILL.)
vi resting her head on vi's shoulder after powder did the same with ekko in an alternate timeline. FOUL.
okay the episode just ended and i have absolutely nothing to say. this was. an experience. i am traumatised. what the fuck. this was beautiful.
30 minutes until arcane season 2 act 3!! i am not okay
predictions/bingo:
mel dies and/or loses autonomy (gets corrupted by black rose)
that golden thing on mel's back is magic
jinx starts doing shit again to honour isha
ambessa learns about communication & being truthful (but it's too late)
viktor lives (somehow)
warwick lives (somehow x2 maybe singed will save him?)
ONE (1) silly moment between vi and jinx. please just this crumb man arcane writers please
caitvi stick together again?
caitvi FUCKS (the buildup???)
uhhh what other characters exist
it'll be explained more thoroughly why jayce killed his boyfriend jesus
what other characters exist???
EKKO will reappear and save the day. boy saviour my beloved <333 i swear i have never seen a single hate comment on ekko he's so precious we all just universally love him
ekko will do something problematic (just because the writers like spiting us and we've all been on his side all this time)
ekko time power thing upgrade
jesus!viktor is the magic man in jayce's memory or something (you can't deny the similarities idc)
i have no clue what'll happen to heimerdinger so I'll just say he dies
lol i'm looking through the arcane wiki character list and basically everyone is dead fuck you arcane writers
sevika gets +1 arm again?? pls dude that poor woman
piltover + zaun vs noxus/black rose?
why is the hexcore listed as a character.
jayce mom returns and goes "son wtf have you done why did you kill a ma— a jesus??"
ekko's tree dies. i'm sorry buddy i don't see it living. unless ekko uses his new time power to reverse the damage or something but i don't think that's how it works
something happens with caitvi and they never see each other again
act 3 breaks my heart
act 3 makes me want to never draw and write ever again but simultaneously makes me want to make so much art
i will need therapy after act 3
YOU will need therapy after act 3
^ that will be all of us, everyone who watches arcane act 3
okay i think that was all. nine minutes left. may the lord (viktor, and also the writers) have mercy on us. lighting a candle and surrounding it with crystals for good luck. i have 4 earrings in and they all have moonstone. pls jesus (viktor, and the writers) go easy on us
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Hey! I found you though your superhero AU, which i love, by the way! I really enjoy your writing style, so I was wondering what your writing process is, in particular, do you have a plan/outline you follow, or do you have a list of little snippets of writing you want to include, etc. Just really curious!
oh my god the question i've been dreading. so funny thing, for the longest time, i actually didn't have an outline or like. a plan. at all
this wasn't even originally going to be a series, it was just supposed to be the first part 😭 but then people started liking it so much (and i live off of attention and comments) so i decided to make a part two and it kind of skyrocketed from there. did not expect we'd be getting past 20k words this is my longest series ever LMAO
but it's not like i have nothing planned out — like i know what's going to be happen with etho and the agency (to an extent) and i've pretty much got the whole ranchers and gempearl storyline down. but desertduo and boat boys..... i've kinda been taking it part by part.
that however does lead to things being repetitive and getting a little stale. so i've been planning things out more lately, and i'm very pleased to say that now i do have (kind of) an idea on the ending. which i have no idea when is going to happen
#yeah i'm very unorganized#i was honestly not expecting this series to go on for so long#almost two whole months!!!!!! a lot for me#but yes i have no intention of leaving this unfinished 🙏#i have no idea how i'm going to fix boat boys tho i'm gonna be very honest rn#slightly terrified it's getting a little repetitive.#bfop au#my asks#about around the fourth part of the series i made a notes app page for all the things i want to have in this series#like titles (you like your girls insane is one of my favs) and lines (which i will not spoil cuz i've got some BANGERS) and other details#(like ages#i do have certain parts outlined however#there was going to be a part titled “interlude — xelqua” and it was going to be about grians story#i have so much written for that. idk if it'll be published ever but#yeah it had acts (act i: destruction act ii: salvation act iii: war act iv: peace)#and i had pages upon pages of notes#but for the general story i have very very little
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So I hit my 700th edit for the WHA wiki today, because I am a totally normal person
#For the record I have been there for. 27 days.#That makes an average of 26 edits a day which is even more terrifying because I definitely was not updating every day#Also this is for the Telepedia Wiki not the Fandom one#Anyway you should check it out!#In maybe a week because the website cache is super slow for some reason when you're not logged in#But I'm having fun#The nice thing about working on a wiki where there's actually other people doing stuff#Is that they can do the boring stuff like character bios and etc while I run around doing the fun stuff like pages on animals and plants#Anyway I was working on the Eldroxen page which are the big fluffy ox from the Silver Eve Procession#And it was so funny collecting info on them from the main series and then checking Kitchen real quick and SURPRISE! THEY'RE EATING IT!#I mean I should have expected this after having watched Dungeon Meshi and yet~~~#Also funny was that I copy+pasted the page coding for one the (food) animals as a template for this giant Mole-worm beast page but#forgot to remove the line about it being for food and afterwards had a laugh and then removed it#But now I'm like. They probably WOULD eat that sucker. Giant mole worm/snake/dragon thing? That'd feed a whole town!#Qifrey could have an entire audience watching how he'd prepare and season it#Anyway if you've been wondering where I've been that's it#Also funny story: during the Covid pandemic I stayed employed when my coworkers got let go because they needed me to catalogue an entire#new set of guided reading books; and have these sets have a digital checkout instead of the old-school card catalog we were literally still#using in 2020. Anyway I went all out with the organization of the books and the boxes and even made a reference binder for the books#via subject so teachers/tutors could find specific subjects and reading levels etc#(I'd have done a digital way to search for results but honestly half the teachers couldn't figure out how to sign in to the laptop. So.)#Anyway. Only a handful of teachers actually used these books and two years later the school switched to a new reading program#that came with its own set of books and lessons so this 10k reading set was essentially unneeded (and my dear coworkers never got rehired)#Anyway I learned last week that they're clearing out that room and all of those barely-used books are getting thrown out 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#Isn't that funny#Literally everything is just sandcastles built in the surf#I'm so glad I already accepted this during my pumpkin carving years because otherwise I think I'd be upset#Anyway I'm gonna go play my spooky fishing game
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if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff
#this is math i do fairly often bc i enjoy ho-hum math and hate my job and like#even if we took off 2000 bucks for overhead costs which feels excessive but i will concede it#that would be enough to pay everyone working a little over 860 dollars which is 300 more than what i make in a WEEK#literally WHEREEEEE IS IT WHERE IS IT GOING WHERE IS IT#i dont like following this logic through because on days where there are fewer orders we;d do less#and i disagree with gig work's implementation as ive seen it and i think that would stress people out worse than we already are#(which is significantly)#but at the same time. 850 dollars. i cant afford to buy groceries this week. 850 dollars...#can i get a BONUS or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it makes me soooo angry i was talking to one of the deli guys who asked for a raise and got denied mid-question#before our director accidentally showed him that their department is four thousand of gods own dollars under labor#its so revolting to me i talk to so many people in this store who are terrified because of medical bills or rent or car shit#half my department works two jobs just to get by and ALL OF THEM drive junkers#honestly one of the things thats scaring me about if i actually move out is that i do rely on...living with my mom#i pay for most of my own food i pay an absurd amount of rent to share a room with her but she's willing to drive me to work#even though i've offered to walk multiple times and she REALLY should prioritize her own time more#but at the same time...not having to pay for rides has been carrying me hard#if i got a car i'd be fucked because those things bleed money and generally ethically i disagree with cars#but if i dont its like okay pony up the money learn to navigate buses (except for sunday when they dont run) or get ready#to walk to your job where you walk all day and then walk home in the dark#which. i love walking. and listening to music on my own while walking. so bad example. but i also love not having my feet hurt#all the time always no matter what im doing which is something im becoming increasingly unfamiliar with#its like. ultimately. something's gonna get fucked no matter what#and then i hear a figure like 4600 and i remember how avoidable all of this shit is. how avoidable it is for ANY of us#our ceo is gonna walk away from this merger attempt with 5 billion dollars in safety-cushion money#the 10 top execs beneath him with 1 billion#and its just so. what can you even do. 5 billion. can a number like that even mean anything? how could you possibly need that much#850 dollars would be a lifechanging amount of money for me right now and im not even one of the worst off#its just. god. this world could be anything but what it is but its this and for what
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#+#i wanna bawl my eyes out ToT#just found out im going to be working at a different school this year#which is ultimately okay bc i know itll work out#kids warm up to me really fast + i get along with other ppl well#it's just like... im gonna miss my kids sooo much#+ my coworkers too#update three days later bc i saved this in drafts 😔:#i still want to cry about it sometimes but i have made peace with it#im really nervous but ik it will be okay + tbh it distances me from drama that played out last year#i’m really sad that i don’t get to tell my kids bye… they’re just babies (kindergarteners ) so i was excited to see how much they grew#+ ik they won’t really understand why i left. but they’re also so little they won’t remember much#it’s okay though! i poured so much love + care into them + ik they’ll remember being safe and adored#i think that’s the most important thing for little kids to experience and im glad they can carry that with them#i am nervous about being a new environment bc i’ve worked so hard to be flexible and adapt quickly to change#+ i do well with it#but honestly even though i cope well it terrifies me#ill be so glad once august is over and things have settled#but im excited too.. things will work out bc they always do ^^
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im gonna shit myself im gonna kill myself im so scared im so aha,g.gh
#(the manager finally emailed me back this morning and i just saw it)#WHY IS IT TOMORROW WHY IS IT ONLY TOMORROW#GIRL GIMME SOME TIME.. . PLEASG> >>. .#I CANT EVEN SHOWER OUR BATHTUB IS FILLED W CHEMICALS AGAIN#i was honestly hoping they werent going to get back to me#but now i have to go#i have to at least try#at least they wont hire me ill never pass an interview#but i have to do it just to tell myself and everyone around me that i did#just gonna cry#i dont know how to handle any of this#im so lost and im so scared#im just shaking i feel so sick#i am so terrified
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i really don't want to be alive
#i just feel so numb rn#but i'm also crying non-stop so tell me how tf that works#i'm so terrified that i'm gonna relapse in my self-harm again but so scared i'm gonna take it too far#and i'm so convinced that if i went too far and like.. died that none of my friends irl would even care#honestly i'm so ready to just send goodbye letters to people and just go#i don't wanna do this anymore#and whenever i try to reach out i just get ignored by everyone so what's the point#my heart physically hurts that's how sad / upset i am#ughhhhh sighhhhh#i'm just gonna go bye x
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wait coming back just to add that i was thinking abt the generational element of the af.tons just being a fucked up family line and i'm. fine. i swear i'm f
#—— ✧ ooc »#˖ ✧ headcanon » ( the demon to his demons )#william's partially a shitty father because of who he is but also partially because of his own upbringing#tries to escape it but either overcorrects or falls into it anyway#terrified of becoming his parents and both passes and fails to escape becoming them#geninely honestly despite everything wants to be better then them and can't and won't#and his parents were shit to him and jayne because they were following social roles#didn't necessarily want kids but It's Expected & although william would never admit it they instilled that in him#& he DID want kids but in many ways the family he tries to build initially is The Stereotypical American Dream#suburb house white picket fence small town wife and three children both sons and a daughter etc etc etc#doesn't let this idea go until late-stage and by that point he's already unintentionally destroying it anyway#i know i made a haha funny joke abt his ideal fam of henry & the son he loves/hates & 2 robot children#but unironically him realizing that he can & should choose what/who he wants BECAUSE he wants it/them#would have solved so many problems if he'd realized it earlier#not all of them but lmao#(not implying that he didn't love elise/mrs. af.ton but he didn't go into or HANDLE the marriage how he should have)#(everything was about appearances not abt actually being prepared for like. Married Life.)#(very much thinks 'okay i'm married. hard part's over. no more effort required' & obv ends up divorced because of it)#(which to be clear he is prone to in ANY ship if they're not willing to beat him over the head w/ reality HARD)#there's SO much more to say abt this like it's very complex but i'm gonna go chill and then go to sleep lmao
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Feeling sick! Like emotionally and whatnot
#😓#no bc i know there is something wrong with me. but christttt what is wrong with me ya know 😩😩😩 ????#i just feel like throwing up and killing something but i have this weird terrified energy within me that prevents me from like ???#doing anything at all atp#ive been doing better this week. ive even been wroting again. but the core emotion and wrongness isnt gone at all#ive just learned how to work around it#but i hate hate hate walking around my own house feeling vaguely scared of nothing#and feeling vaguely angry. and vaguely nauseous and terrified etc etc#like enough !!!!!!!!!#i have no idea how long they're gonna keep me on their therapy waiting list so atp i might go private#bc i feel like im going insane#the depression is honestly manageable bc ive been through it before#but this overhanging wrongness is disturbing me so very deeply that im losing my mind#and i cant sleep !!!!! bc i either cry or i get angry or i get paranoid abt the past#or even worse i try to piece together the past (never ends well)#but whatever ! im going to hamburg the day after tomorrow and i know that will be a nice temporary distraction 👍
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i have been ! thrown off my rhythm !
#the amount of emotional whiplash i have experienced these past forty eight hours#(and like. the past few months) is honestly astounding lmao my brain hurts#on all levels except physical i am the rainbow loading circle of doom#unsure how i’m feeling or how to proceed so in the meantime i’m gonna gym rat and put it to the side#need to firm up friend plans hopefully another pogo walk w gray soon ! and two of my college friends have reached out to link and catch up#(one of which. heavy queer subtext our freshman year so ! should be interesting lmfao)#my therapist gave me homework to go hang out at a queer coffee shop to meet new people. a terrifying prospect#the thought of being w someone other than my ex still makes me ! violently physically ill !#but i need to put myself out there and start making some new friends#sam soliloquizes
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.
#rant cw#🌙.txt#i'm genuinely so scared rn 😃 i'm trying to distract myself and have fun but it's so hard#like. i know i'm privileged bc at least i have a safe place to stay and i could make it here before everything got worse#and i know there are people going through much worse than me#but i'm TERRIFIED bc there's a high chance we might actually lose everything this time bc this flood is SO much worse than the last one#and if we lose everything then what the fuck are we gonna do...#how many times are we gonna have to deal with this kind of situation#i couldn't sleep bc i was too anxious and now i'm tired#and i just saw a video of a bunch of cows being DRAGGED by the fcking water and they looked so scared :(#i keep crying i feel so powerless#bc literally the only thing i can do is wait and pray that the damage won't be bad to the point where we can't recover from it#i'm sorry i keep posting about this and again i know i'm more privileged than a LOT of people#but i just need to vent bc i honestly have never felt this scared in my life#i'll try to at least take a nap now tho. i need some rest
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