#honestly terrified of how this is gonna go
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Hot Eve (m)
synopsis. getting fucked raw by your ex boyfriend stuck in an elevator on Christmas Eve.
warnings. 18+, ëxplïçït sêx, ünprôtëçtëd sêx, nønçøn sêx, stälkër ëx böÿfrïënd jk, yn ïs kïndä mørälïtÿ cørrùpt yn, ëlëvåtør sêx, yândërë thëmës, därk smüt.
note. LAST WORK FOR 2024!!!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MY CHRISTIAN FOLLOWERS! 🎄❤️❤️🔥. this year was hard as fuck. I’m not okay but let’s hope I’ll be so much happier starting from next year. enjoy this!!!! share feedback! gif credits to owner, found it on Pinterest.
December, 25th. It’s Christmas.
It’s the favorite time of the year for you, you love it, the cold, the sweetness of the blessings of Christmas. The streets are lit up. Merry atmosphere everywhere.
But all you feel is dread.
he’s near..
Your legs are on fire, your breath coming in shallow, ragged gasps as you sprint down the hallway.
The sound of his boots echoes behind you, heavy and deliberate. He's not running. He doesn't need to.
The elevator is so close-just a few more steps.
You slam your hand against the button, frantic, fingers trembling. The soft ding of the arriving elevator is barely audible over the roar of blood in your ears.
Don't look back. Don't look back.
But you do.
Jungkook is there, closing the distance with that infuriating, unhurried stride, his lips curled into a smirk like he's already won.
His black shirt clings to his muscular chest, and his eyes gleam with something feral, like a predator toying with its prey.
The elevator doors glide open, and you dart inside, stabbing the close door button over and over again. You're muttering under your breath, desperate, “Close, close, please just fucking close-“”
The doors start to slide shut, and relief washes over you. But then you see it-his hand. Thick, veined, and steady as it wedges between the closing doors.
The elevator jerks back open, and your stomach twists into a sick knot of dread.
Jungkook steps inside, slow and casual, like he's got all the time in the world.
There's something deliciously pathetic about the way you shrink back against the wall, like you honestly thought you could get away from him.
It's adorable. Pathetic, but adorable.
He lets the silence hang in the air for a moment, drinking in the sight of you.
Your chest is heaving, your cheeks flushed, and those pretty, wide eyes are staring up at him like you're terrified.
Good.
He steps forward, his boots heavy against the floor, until there's no space left between you and the cold metal wall.
“Really?”
You are so fucking dumb, but so cute.
He drawls, tilting his head as his lips curl into a lazy, mocking smirk. “The elevator? That's the best you could do?”
His voice drops, low and biting. “What were you gonna do, huh Ride it to safety? Maybe hide in your little fucking apartment and pretend I don't exist?"
He chuckles darkly, his tongue sliding over his teeth. “Cute. Stupid as fuck, but cute.”
Your throat is dry, and your legs feel like they're about to give out. He's so close now, the sharp scent of his cologne invading every breath you take, mixing with the heat radiating off his body.
“Jungkook, I'm serious. You need to leave,” you manage to say, though your voice comes out small and shaky, utterly unconvincing.
He laughs at you. A sharp, humorless sound that makes your stomach churn.
“Serious?" he repeats, arching a brow as if the word itself is a joke. “You're fucking hilarious, you know that? Acting all big and bad when you're shaking like a goddamn leaf.”
His hand slams against the wall beside your head, and you flinch hard. He leans in, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear as he murmurs, “Tell me to leave again. Go ahead.”
You will never… because you can’t.
“Let's see what happens.”
You're trembling, looking at him with those big, frightened eyes, and it's making his cock ache.
He hates how much he loves this— loves the way you run, the way you fight, like it's anything more than a game to him.
He tilts his head, dragging his gaze over you slowly, deliberately, like he's savoring every inch. You're perfect.
So fucking perfect when you're like this.
“Look at you,” he says, his voice low and sharp.
“Standing there all scared and pretty, like you don't know exactly how this ends.”
“You like this shit, don't you?” His hand trails down your side, possessive and unapologetic, and he smirks when you squirm. “Running away. Making me fucking chase you. You get off on it.”
Yes you do.
You try to push him away, your hands pressing weakly against his chest, but it's useless. He grabs your wrists and pins them above your head in one fluid motion, grinning when you gasp.
“Stop fucking pretending,” he growls, his eyes darkening as they lock with yours. “We both know you like it when I get like this. You fucking love it.”
You shake your head, trying to deny it, but the words stick in your throat. You hate how strong he is, how easily he can overpower you.
But what you hate more-what terrifies you- is that some part of you does like it.
God, he’s so hot..
“Let me go,” you whisper, though it sounds more like a plea than a command.
His grip on your wrists tightens, and he leans in closer, his breath hot against your lips. "
“Let you go?” he repeats, his voice mocking. “That's cute, baby. Real fucking cute.”
His free hand slides down to your waist, gripping hard enough to make you wince.
“Let's get one thing straight,” he murmurs, his tone dropping to something dark and dangerous. “You're mine. Every fucking inch of you. And I'm not letting you go anywhere.”
He's hard as a rock, the sight of you pinned against the wall, helpless and trembling, driving him wild.
His gaze drops to your lips, parted and soft, and it takes everything in him not to devour you right then and there.
“You can run all you want,” Jungkook says, his voice thick with lust and something darker.
“But you'll never fucking get away from me. Never.”
His fingers dig into your waist, his body pressing against yours, caging you completely. He wants to mark you, to ruin you, to make sure you never even think about leaving him again.
Your entire body feels trapped in a vice, his presence suffocating, overwhelming. You hate how he's looking at you-hungry, like he wants
to devour you whole, like he owns you. And maybe he does.
The words stick in your throat, caught somewhere between fear and something darker, something shameful…
Your cunt feels so damp.
You twist your wrists against his grip, but doesn't even flinch.
it's effortless.
“Jungkook,” you breathe, your voice shaky and thin. “This isn't-“
“This isn't what?” he snaps, cutting you off. His voice is low, rough, teetering between anger and lust. “What you wanted? What you've been fucking asking for this whole time?”
His fingers dig into your waist, and you feel the heat of his body press harder against yours. You can't look at him, can't handle the intensity of his eyes burning into you.
“Look at me,” he demands, his voice sharp enough to make you flinch.
You shake your head, keeping your gaze fixed on the wall behind him.
“I said look at me.”
He releases one of your wrists only to grip your chin, forcing your face up until you're staring into those dark, furious eyes.
His pupils are blown wide, and the muscle in his jaw ticks with restraint.
“See this?” he growls, his tone dripping with venom as his free hand grabs your thigh, hitching it against his hip,
“This is what happens when you try to run from me. When you act like you don't fucking belong to me.”
You're trembling under his touch, and it sends a sick, addictive thrill straight through him. He can feel the way your body betrays you, the way your breaths come quicker, the way your thighs press together even though you're still pretending to fight.
“Fucking liar,” he mutters, his lips curling into a sneer. "You say you want me to leave, but you don't mean it. You never fucking mean it.”
Jungkook knows you..
He drags his hand along your thigh, gripping it hard enough to leave marks, his body pressing closer, caging you completely.
You're his, every inch of you, and it pisses him off that you even thought you could get away.
“You think I'm stupid?” he spits, leaning in until his mouth hovers over yours. “You think I don't see the way you look at me yn?”
He mocks, licking his lips, his tongue teasing you.
“Fuck baby… you’re making my cock ache.” He groans, biting his lower lip, his hand leaves your thigh to settle on his own zipper.
Your eyes wide because you know what he’s about to do and you want to stop him, but no words come out of your mouth because your brain has stopped working.
All you can think, feel.. and smell is him.
“Fuck yn… I’ve been warning you for the longest time.. you have no idea how horny I am right now…” the way his eyes are clouded with lust tells you everything you need to know.
He looks like a feral animal.
He unzips his pants, letting it fall down and then he presses a button on the elevator, making it come to a halt. You shudder in fear.
“J-Jungkook..” you manage to slip out his name from your mouth, but before you can say anything else, he crashes his mouth to yours.
His tongue forces itself into your mouth as he uses his other hand to usher his boxers off. You whine in his mouth, trying to stop him but—
God, his tongue feels so hot.
Your pussy clenches as you both kiss. He’s not just kissing but he’s devouring you, his free hand cages you in, making sure you can’t escape.
His hard free dick is pressing against your stomach, his other hand hurriedly goes to your skirt, unzipping it he catches the hem of your underwear, he yanks it down, as his tongue completely dominates your mouth.
You moan helplessly.
But he doesn’t let you break the kiss,, you’re already soaking wet.
His teeth nip at your bottom lip as his tongues go to assault your mouth. Then without a warning he shoves his cock inside your wet right cunt.
A guttural moan escapes his throat as he growls into your mouth like a wounded animal.
He’s finally getting to fuck you after so long.
And your knees go weak, like jelly. It’s too late now.
He starts to pound into you hard and fast, your back slamming continuously against the elevator wall, he pulls you up by your hips and wraps your legs around his waist.
After finally breaking the kiss, his thrusts only her more brutal, you scream in ecstasy and pain, burying your face in his neck as you grip on his shoulders tighten.
“Fu-Fuck yn you’re going to make me fucking cum.”
Again, his hungry mouth finds yours, devouring with desperate kisses as he moves his hips, fast.
“O-Oh J-Jungkook…”
•••
Hours go by. You’re fucked out- he’s sweating, you’re actually paralyzed but he’s not stopping, uoure still stuck in the elevator, thank fully the fan of the machine is keeping you alive but the elevator reeks of sex.
What have you done? Getting fucked by your psychotic ex on Christmas Eve.
And he’s about to cum inside your cunt raw.
And you are going to do nothing about it. Like always.
“Merry fucking Christmas my love.”
#jungkook smut#bts smut#yandere bts#yandere jungkook#yandere jjk#jjk smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#jjk fic#jjk fanfiction#jjk ff#jeongguk smut#jeon jungkook#jungkook#smut#yandere x reader#kpop smut#bangtan smut#bts#yandere#yandere au#jjk fanfic#yandere lemon#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jeon jungkook x reader
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Well hello there, folks, welcome to my little slice of paradise, what's your poison for today?
Are you interested in becoming intimately familiar with the madness and chaos, the pure unadulterated gremlin-ness that is my diner (and by proxy, the patrons (read: muses) of said diner)? Perhaps you're looking for a fresh new take on Hatsune Miku, the famed idol? Or you're hoping to broaden your horizons, peer deep into the Void? Maybe you're old-school, and want to interact with an Undertale muse / one with ties to Undertale? Who knows, it could just be that you stumbled here accidentally, and didn't notice the fishing lines waiting to reel you in, until it was too late. After all, little morsels, once you step foot in here, you're mine.
I'm a semi-selective rp blog for several muses, some of them "canon" characters, most of them not. Hope you'll join me for the ride, though!
#mun tag#hihi!!! been a While since i've been here on tumbublr so i hope nyall will treat me well ovo#first post on new blog woo#honestly terrified of how this is gonna go#but figured i would join again#wanted to interact more with Friends#but am Spicy Fear over everything :')
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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Don't forget the reason the U.S. is supporting Israel's genocide of Palestine - hell, 90% of the reason they ever get involved into something in the Middle East is for ulterior purposes regarding oil.
That and the Ben Gurion Canal project, which you can learn more about:
Also this short video explaining the canal's significance and full history in summary:
Simply put,
#free palestine#israel is a genocidal state#israel is a terrorist state#fuck america#fuck israel#comic pic is from persepolis btw#which is an autobiography of the author growing up in iran during the iranian revolution#not to mention how the US destabilized iran bc their democratically elected leader was gonna nationalize its oil for iran#and they put someone who would play ball for them in charge#its always about the oil#EVEN IN THE MIDST OF EVERYONE GOING “THE FUTURE ISNT VIABLE W FOSSIL FUELS”#WE SHOULD BE LOOKING FORWARD FOR USING AND TRANSITIONING TO RENEWABLE ENERGY SOURCES#BUT THE CAPITALISTIC FUCKS WANT MONEY NOW#AT THE EXPENSE OF HUMAN LIVES#THE LIVES OF ARABS AND BROWN PPL INDIGENOUS TO PALESTINE NOTE THAT#aaaaaaand of course the canal#much easier than dealing w egypt#for both israel and america#israel will be onboard w them and they'll have a way of strengthening their grip on the middle east and world economy#this is honestly disgusting and terrifying#egypt#suez canal
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Hey! I found you though your superhero AU, which i love, by the way! I really enjoy your writing style, so I was wondering what your writing process is, in particular, do you have a plan/outline you follow, or do you have a list of little snippets of writing you want to include, etc. Just really curious!
oh my god the question i've been dreading. so funny thing, for the longest time, i actually didn't have an outline or like. a plan. at all
this wasn't even originally going to be a series, it was just supposed to be the first part 😭 but then people started liking it so much (and i live off of attention and comments) so i decided to make a part two and it kind of skyrocketed from there. did not expect we'd be getting past 20k words this is my longest series ever LMAO
but it's not like i have nothing planned out — like i know what's going to be happen with etho and the agency (to an extent) and i've pretty much got the whole ranchers and gempearl storyline down. but desertduo and boat boys..... i've kinda been taking it part by part.
that however does lead to things being repetitive and getting a little stale. so i've been planning things out more lately, and i'm very pleased to say that now i do have (kind of) an idea on the ending. which i have no idea when is going to happen
#yeah i'm very unorganized#i was honestly not expecting this series to go on for so long#almost two whole months!!!!!! a lot for me#but yes i have no intention of leaving this unfinished 🙏#i have no idea how i'm going to fix boat boys tho i'm gonna be very honest rn#slightly terrified it's getting a little repetitive.#bfop au#my asks#about around the fourth part of the series i made a notes app page for all the things i want to have in this series#like titles (you like your girls insane is one of my favs) and lines (which i will not spoil cuz i've got some BANGERS) and other details#(like ages#i do have certain parts outlined however#there was going to be a part titled “interlude — xelqua” and it was going to be about grians story#i have so much written for that. idk if it'll be published ever but#yeah it had acts (act i: destruction act ii: salvation act iii: war act iv: peace)#and i had pages upon pages of notes#but for the general story i have very very little
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So I hit my 700th edit for the WHA wiki today, because I am a totally normal person
#For the record I have been there for. 27 days.#That makes an average of 26 edits a day which is even more terrifying because I definitely was not updating every day#Also this is for the Telepedia Wiki not the Fandom one#Anyway you should check it out!#In maybe a week because the website cache is super slow for some reason when you're not logged in#But I'm having fun#The nice thing about working on a wiki where there's actually other people doing stuff#Is that they can do the boring stuff like character bios and etc while I run around doing the fun stuff like pages on animals and plants#Anyway I was working on the Eldroxen page which are the big fluffy ox from the Silver Eve Procession#And it was so funny collecting info on them from the main series and then checking Kitchen real quick and SURPRISE! THEY'RE EATING IT!#I mean I should have expected this after having watched Dungeon Meshi and yet~~~#Also funny was that I copy+pasted the page coding for one the (food) animals as a template for this giant Mole-worm beast page but#forgot to remove the line about it being for food and afterwards had a laugh and then removed it#But now I'm like. They probably WOULD eat that sucker. Giant mole worm/snake/dragon thing? That'd feed a whole town!#Qifrey could have an entire audience watching how he'd prepare and season it#Anyway if you've been wondering where I've been that's it#Also funny story: during the Covid pandemic I stayed employed when my coworkers got let go because they needed me to catalogue an entire#new set of guided reading books; and have these sets have a digital checkout instead of the old-school card catalog we were literally still#using in 2020. Anyway I went all out with the organization of the books and the boxes and even made a reference binder for the books#via subject so teachers/tutors could find specific subjects and reading levels etc#(I'd have done a digital way to search for results but honestly half the teachers couldn't figure out how to sign in to the laptop. So.)#Anyway. Only a handful of teachers actually used these books and two years later the school switched to a new reading program#that came with its own set of books and lessons so this 10k reading set was essentially unneeded (and my dear coworkers never got rehired)#Anyway I learned last week that they're clearing out that room and all of those barely-used books are getting thrown out 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#Isn't that funny#Literally everything is just sandcastles built in the surf#I'm so glad I already accepted this during my pumpkin carving years because otherwise I think I'd be upset#Anyway I'm gonna go play my spooky fishing game
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if i might bitch about work for a second: yesterday was hellishly bad despite being able to keep up with it and i found out that apparently our department made 4600 dollars yesterday which is making me angry beyond belieffffffff
#this is math i do fairly often bc i enjoy ho-hum math and hate my job and like#even if we took off 2000 bucks for overhead costs which feels excessive but i will concede it#that would be enough to pay everyone working a little over 860 dollars which is 300 more than what i make in a WEEK#literally WHEREEEEE IS IT WHERE IS IT GOING WHERE IS IT#i dont like following this logic through because on days where there are fewer orders we;d do less#and i disagree with gig work's implementation as ive seen it and i think that would stress people out worse than we already are#(which is significantly)#but at the same time. 850 dollars. i cant afford to buy groceries this week. 850 dollars...#can i get a BONUS or SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it makes me soooo angry i was talking to one of the deli guys who asked for a raise and got denied mid-question#before our director accidentally showed him that their department is four thousand of gods own dollars under labor#its so revolting to me i talk to so many people in this store who are terrified because of medical bills or rent or car shit#half my department works two jobs just to get by and ALL OF THEM drive junkers#honestly one of the things thats scaring me about if i actually move out is that i do rely on...living with my mom#i pay for most of my own food i pay an absurd amount of rent to share a room with her but she's willing to drive me to work#even though i've offered to walk multiple times and she REALLY should prioritize her own time more#but at the same time...not having to pay for rides has been carrying me hard#if i got a car i'd be fucked because those things bleed money and generally ethically i disagree with cars#but if i dont its like okay pony up the money learn to navigate buses (except for sunday when they dont run) or get ready#to walk to your job where you walk all day and then walk home in the dark#which. i love walking. and listening to music on my own while walking. so bad example. but i also love not having my feet hurt#all the time always no matter what im doing which is something im becoming increasingly unfamiliar with#its like. ultimately. something's gonna get fucked no matter what#and then i hear a figure like 4600 and i remember how avoidable all of this shit is. how avoidable it is for ANY of us#our ceo is gonna walk away from this merger attempt with 5 billion dollars in safety-cushion money#the 10 top execs beneath him with 1 billion#and its just so. what can you even do. 5 billion. can a number like that even mean anything? how could you possibly need that much#850 dollars would be a lifechanging amount of money for me right now and im not even one of the worst off#its just. god. this world could be anything but what it is but its this and for what
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#+#i wanna bawl my eyes out ToT#just found out im going to be working at a different school this year#which is ultimately okay bc i know itll work out#kids warm up to me really fast + i get along with other ppl well#it's just like... im gonna miss my kids sooo much#+ my coworkers too#update three days later bc i saved this in drafts 😔:#i still want to cry about it sometimes but i have made peace with it#im really nervous but ik it will be okay + tbh it distances me from drama that played out last year#i’m really sad that i don’t get to tell my kids bye… they’re just babies (kindergarteners ) so i was excited to see how much they grew#+ ik they won’t really understand why i left. but they’re also so little they won’t remember much#it’s okay though! i poured so much love + care into them + ik they’ll remember being safe and adored#i think that’s the most important thing for little kids to experience and im glad they can carry that with them#i am nervous about being a new environment bc i’ve worked so hard to be flexible and adapt quickly to change#+ i do well with it#but honestly even though i cope well it terrifies me#ill be so glad once august is over and things have settled#but im excited too.. things will work out bc they always do ^^
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wait coming back just to add that i was thinking abt the generational element of the af.tons just being a fucked up family line and i'm. fine. i swear i'm f
#—— ✧ ooc »#˖ ✧ headcanon » ( the demon to his demons )#william's partially a shitty father because of who he is but also partially because of his own upbringing#tries to escape it but either overcorrects or falls into it anyway#terrified of becoming his parents and both passes and fails to escape becoming them#geninely honestly despite everything wants to be better then them and can't and won't#and his parents were shit to him and jayne because they were following social roles#didn't necessarily want kids but It's Expected & although william would never admit it they instilled that in him#& he DID want kids but in many ways the family he tries to build initially is The Stereotypical American Dream#suburb house white picket fence small town wife and three children both sons and a daughter etc etc etc#doesn't let this idea go until late-stage and by that point he's already unintentionally destroying it anyway#i know i made a haha funny joke abt his ideal fam of henry & the son he loves/hates & 2 robot children#but unironically him realizing that he can & should choose what/who he wants BECAUSE he wants it/them#would have solved so many problems if he'd realized it earlier#not all of them but lmao#(not implying that he didn't love elise/mrs. af.ton but he didn't go into or HANDLE the marriage how he should have)#(everything was about appearances not abt actually being prepared for like. Married Life.)#(very much thinks 'okay i'm married. hard part's over. no more effort required' & obv ends up divorced because of it)#(which to be clear he is prone to in ANY ship if they're not willing to beat him over the head w/ reality HARD)#there's SO much more to say abt this like it's very complex but i'm gonna go chill and then go to sleep lmao
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Feeling sick! Like emotionally and whatnot
#😓#no bc i know there is something wrong with me. but christttt what is wrong with me ya know 😩😩😩 ????#i just feel like throwing up and killing something but i have this weird terrified energy within me that prevents me from like ???#doing anything at all atp#ive been doing better this week. ive even been wroting again. but the core emotion and wrongness isnt gone at all#ive just learned how to work around it#but i hate hate hate walking around my own house feeling vaguely scared of nothing#and feeling vaguely angry. and vaguely nauseous and terrified etc etc#like enough !!!!!!!!!#i have no idea how long they're gonna keep me on their therapy waiting list so atp i might go private#bc i feel like im going insane#the depression is honestly manageable bc ive been through it before#but this overhanging wrongness is disturbing me so very deeply that im losing my mind#and i cant sleep !!!!! bc i either cry or i get angry or i get paranoid abt the past#or even worse i try to piece together the past (never ends well)#but whatever ! im going to hamburg the day after tomorrow and i know that will be a nice temporary distraction 👍
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i have been ! thrown off my rhythm !
#the amount of emotional whiplash i have experienced these past forty eight hours#(and like. the past few months) is honestly astounding lmao my brain hurts#on all levels except physical i am the rainbow loading circle of doom#unsure how i’m feeling or how to proceed so in the meantime i’m gonna gym rat and put it to the side#need to firm up friend plans hopefully another pogo walk w gray soon ! and two of my college friends have reached out to link and catch up#(one of which. heavy queer subtext our freshman year so ! should be interesting lmfao)#my therapist gave me homework to go hang out at a queer coffee shop to meet new people. a terrifying prospect#the thought of being w someone other than my ex still makes me ! violently physically ill !#but i need to put myself out there and start making some new friends#sam soliloquizes
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#rant cw#🌙.txt#i'm genuinely so scared rn 😃 i'm trying to distract myself and have fun but it's so hard#like. i know i'm privileged bc at least i have a safe place to stay and i could make it here before everything got worse#and i know there are people going through much worse than me#but i'm TERRIFIED bc there's a high chance we might actually lose everything this time bc this flood is SO much worse than the last one#and if we lose everything then what the fuck are we gonna do...#how many times are we gonna have to deal with this kind of situation#i couldn't sleep bc i was too anxious and now i'm tired#and i just saw a video of a bunch of cows being DRAGGED by the fcking water and they looked so scared :(#i keep crying i feel so powerless#bc literally the only thing i can do is wait and pray that the damage won't be bad to the point where we can't recover from it#i'm sorry i keep posting about this and again i know i'm more privileged than a LOT of people#but i just need to vent bc i honestly have never felt this scared in my life#i'll try to at least take a nap now tho. i need some rest
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By the way I haven't seen the final episode but I watched episodes 1-4 of young royals and lost my mind and then today I watched episode 5 and I am unwell thank you
#I can't#I can't with them#honestly though the closest I've been to crying was when sara came home after her driving test#not okay over that in the slightest#but I'm also not remotely okay over literally anything in this season or the entirety of this ever so ┐( ∵ )┌#also as soon as I started to hear the lyrics in episode five I was like (after I was freaking out enough that I thought it was another love#at first) 'they are not playing losing game right now. THEY ARE NOT PLAYING LOSING GAME RIGHT NOW HOHHH MY GOSH DON'T YOU#DARE'#I could not remember the actual title but I was pretty sure it had another one and as I was typing that I remembered it is arcade lol#anyway xD#yeah so that's how that's going lol#how I'm feeling and all that xD#help lol#young royals#yr#oasis's young royals chatter#oasis's yr chatter#I don't talk about them/it often because I'm not really in any circles for it fandom wise lol but also because I don't think I could#take it lol xd#like thinking about it right now I'm like 'I think it's because I have never been okay over them once ever'#so anyway there's that lol#xD have a nice night y'all lol#even though I know you must not be after watching episode 6 xd#excited and terrified to watch it some time soon lol#gosh I need the abbott I'm gonna try and catch up on tonight lol#bye y'all <333 I have tissues if you need them xdd 🧻❤️#best of luck lol#love you
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My mum keeps asking me what I want to do for my 30th birthday next year, and honestly, I'm not even ready to become 29 THIS year.
#about me#how is time flying by so quickly#im in disbelief#im nearly 30 honestly and also kinda terrified#i want to go abroad somewhere next year for my 30th i think#been looking at cruises?? they seem to be afforadable but worried about motion sickness#though would like to own my own apartment / house but this day and age not gonna happen with the current financial situation our country is#in. so yeah#probably will live with my parents for a while longer yet
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I have a lighted splint
and a small barrel of hydrogen
the devil on my shoulder says to drop the splint into the barrel and run
the angel says blow out the splint
...
nvm floyd's comin this way i think he can handle a little explosion
-clownfish anon
...Please do not do that, it is not safe.
And what if poor Floyd got hurt? You would have to take over his shift at the Mostro Lounge. And you would not receive any pay as we would have to use his salary to take care of him.
So again, I would advise you to not drop the splint into the barrel.
#kazumi speaks: “poor Floyd” I think he can take care of himself and/or hurt clownfish anon here#kazumi speaks: but it's honestly a win-win situation for him. either floyd doesn't get hurt OR you work for free. whee.#kazumi speaks: love how he acts like he'll solely be taking care of floyd when we all know he's just gonna go to the infirmary#kazumi speaks: honestly floyd coming at me for “payback” would be more terrifying.#kazumi speaks: but it's whatever you want i guess-#azul ashengrotto#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst azul ashengrotto#azul replies#twisted wonderland azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto roleplay#azul ashengrotto rp#disney twisted wonderland azul ashengrotto#clownfish-san
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just woke up and processed the fact that today is the day we see the rest of that ahsoka and anakin scene and now i’m having heart palpitations
#IT’S FUCKING HAPPENING#WHAT ARE THEY GONNA TALK ABOUT DUDE IDK#AND IS IT ACTUALLY GONNA BE ANAKIN OR IS IT GONNA BE VADER CAUSE HONESTLY I FEEL LIKE IT COULD BE A WEIRD TWIST#idk I am just sus it won’t be exactly what I think it’s going to be#anyway I can’t wait and yet also I am terrified#so how are y’all doing today#star wars#leah rants#leah watches ahsoka
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