#honestly sounds to me like the man was just lazy and didn't want to write his sermon that week

[judespoets]

𝙛𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 | 𝙟𝙤𝙗𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙝𝙖𝙢

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: jobe spends the perfect day with you, and him making you his forever wasn’t what you expected.

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: jobe bellingham x fem!reader

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: none

Jobe shifted, propping himself up one elbow. You were still sound asleep as he just looked down at you, admiring every single feature of your face.

His gaze traced the curve of your jaw, the delicate line of your throat.

"You know," he murmured, "I love waking up like this every day."

Your eyes fluttered open slowly, and a sleepy smile tugged at your lips.

"Like what?" You asked, your voice still thick with drowsiness.

"Wrapped around you," Jobe replied, his fingers tracing lazy circles on your bare shoulder. "The sun shining through the window, your hair messy like that. It's absolutely perfect."

Your cheeks flushed, and you buried your head into the crook of Jobes neck. "You're too sweet," you whispered. "But I agree. This- it's perfect. You're perfect."

Jobe chuckled. "You're not just saying that because you're half asleep, are you?"

"No," you said, lifting your head to meet his gaze. "I mean it. I'm really thankful for you, you know. When I'm with you, everything else just- doesn't matter."

Jobes heart only swelled, even though it was common for you to be extra affectionate in the morning. He'd never been good with words, but you had a way of unraveling him, pulling out the emotions he kept hidden.

"My love," he began, "i love you, so so much."

Your eyes softened, and you cupped his cheeks. "I love you," you whispered. "More than words can express."

You just kept laying there, tangled in each other, you listening his heartbeat with your head on his chest while his hands kept stroking your bare waist slightly.

"Babe," Jobe said, breaking the comfortable silence, "what do you really want from life? I mean really want."

You tilted your head, looking at Jobe with a confused look on your face. "Jobe, babe, you already know that. Where does that come from we've been together for two years we talked about all of this on like our second date." You said, chuckling slightly.

"I know, baby. I just- we talked about it but i want like an update, you know. Do you still have the same priorities?"

"I think i do, yeah. Well obviously i still want adventures. I want to explore new place, taste exotic food, meet new people. But you've become my priority for sure. I really want to do all that with you, you know. I don't imagine my life without you in it anymore." You told him honestly. "And you?"

He grinned at you, you could see the sparkle in his eyes which were looking down at you with admiration.

"I want to make a difference. Not just a ripple, but a tidal wave. Maybe write a book someday."

You acted offended. "No me in your future?"

Jobe put the hair behind your ear, looking down at you, "I love you so much, baby. You're my number one priority, sweetheart and my future doesn't exist without you."

You laughed, burying your head further into his chest while Jobe held you tightly.

"What do you wanna do today, any plans?" Jobe asked you since it was his day off today.

"I do need to get some groceries but other than that i'm all yours today, babe." You told the man next to you.

You both loved a free day. Days where the both of you have nothing to do and Jobe doesn't have training, it gave you time to spend together since that did fall a bit behind with Jobe's tight training plan.

"I'm taking you out tonight, be ready at 6:30 and dress fancy." Jobe told you softly. "I'm making breakfast what do you want, baby?"

You were stunned at first. You didn't expect Jobe taking you out today. You both were normally the staying in type of couple. Since Jobe also gets recognized a lot. But the both of you loved this idea of a date night, cuddled up on the couch with snacks and a good movie.

"Why? Any special occasion?" You wondered out loud.

"Can't I take my girlfriend out once in a while?" Jobe asked jokingly.

"You can, where are we going?"

"Ha, as if i'd tell you that. Just be ready." Jobe told you as he winked and left the room to get breakfast started.

While Jobe was downstairs in the kitchen, you got ready, doing your usual skincare routine and throwing on a pair of leggings and one of Jobe's hoodies. Walking down the stairs you smelled the amazing smell of pancakes, your favorite breakfast.

"What's going on today? My favorite breakfast too? Did you do something or what?" You wondered, jokingly, sitting down at the table with Jobe.

"Babe, don't worry. I just want to make you happy." Jobe smiled at you, giving you your cup of coffee.

The both of you spent the day grocery shopping and going for a little walk before you started to get ready.

Walking down the stairs of your shared home you saw Jobe standing there, practically admiring you.

You wore a dark red, long dress with a small slit at the leg. Your hair was done in curls and your makeup was fancy yet simple.

Arriving at the front door, you looked at your boyfriend, he wore a black suit, your favorite.

Chucking, you wrapped your hands around his neck while his almost immediately wrapped around your waist.

"You look so beautiful, baby." Jobe told you, looking down at you.

"Thank you. You know you don't look too bad yourself, handsome." You chuckled, giving Jobe a small peck on the lips.

Together, the two of you walked to the car, Jobe driving you to the restaurant he booked you a table at.

Walking towards the restaurant, you noticed you knew that one. It was the restaurant you spent your first date at.

"Jobe! Our first date was here!" You exclaimed full of excitement, you loved the idea of spending your evening with Jobe here.

"I know, you happy?" He asked hopefully, turning his head towards you.

"So happy." you answered.

The two of you spent an amazing dinner together, which Jobe obviously paid. He never let you pay.

Walking out of the restaurants doors, expecting to go home, Jobe pulled you to the other direction.

"Let's walk at the beach a little." Was the only thing he said.

The beach wasn't too far away and it was a really warm night so you didn't complain, although the heels you were wearing did start to hurt a little bit, but it was bearable.

Entering the beach, you walked a little while before you saw light. So many little candles were forming a way together with rose petals, hundreds of them.

"Look Jobe! That looks so beautiful." You said clueless.

"You think so? I was hoping you liked it." He answered, grinning from ear to ear.

"You did that? Are you serious?" You asked, not believing what was happening.

As Jobe let go of your hand he started running towards the end of the walk where you started to see a little circle also formed out of roses and candles. You couldn't believe this was happening.

Arriving at Jobes place, you turned, looking at the beautiful view.

"What's all of this, babe?" You asked, turning around and clapping your hands over your mouth, the tears already daring to spill out of your eyes.

There he was, down on one knee, holding a box with a beautiful diamond ring inside of it.

"(Y/N), baby. I really didn't plan what I was going to say. I was too nervous about the rest. But baby, you are the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent, loving woman i have ever met in my entire life. When I met you, i knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, touché, i know." Jobe said slightly laughing.

"You are the woman I want to marry. You are the woman i want to be the mother of my kids and grandmother of my grandkids. You are the woman i want to grow old with. (Y/N), you are the woman I want to love and cherish for all my life and after. My love, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), would you do me the honor of becoming my wife, will you marry me?" He asked, with a few tear streaming down his own face.

You were lost of words, you couldn't say anything, you were shocked to say the least. So you just nodded. You nodded so much you could think your head would fall off.

"Yes, of course, Jobe, of course I want to marry you." You said as Jobe slid the ring on your finger, standing up and taking you in his arms, spinning you around.

As he set you down again he didn't waste another second before taking your face in his hand and kissing you passionately.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." He said in between pecks on your lips. "You just made me the happiest man on earth, my love." He told you, wrapped his arms around your waist, while you wrapped yours around his neck.

You just stood there, taking in the moment, in each other arms.

Jobe pulled away, turning around.

"SHE SAID YES!!" Was all that was heard before you heard cheers from the other side of the beach.

You saw a figure running towards the both of you, revealing Jude as he tackled you both to the ground, hugging you.

"I'm so proud of you, bro." He said, laughing and kissing all of Jobe's face.

You couldn't control your laughter anymore,.

You were so, so happy.

[sv5hive]

in every universe? | cl16

pairing(s): charles leclerc x fem!reader

content warning(s): use of y/n, pretending the university of monaco has an architecture course shhhh, inaccurate architecture course information bcos i am lazy, ma**ia bin**to mention IM SORRY

word count: 2,580

note: this is my longesttt fic yet and i had so much fun writing it!! i hope you like it just as much 🫶🏻

masterlist!

"so in summary, i want to see how you will finance your project while keeping your budget in mind, any issues you may come across and their solutions, the influence behind it, how it might impact the environment and the population as well as visual aids to guide the audience. these presentations are due next month and remember! it is your responsibility to arrange times to work on the presentation together. i won't be accepting any excuses whatsoever!"

you chewed on the end of your pen at your professor's reminder as you watched everyone filter out the doors from your seat right at the back.

group projects always meant you would have to do all the work yourself just to share equal credit with everyone else in the group who didn't even attempt to contribute. this project was unlikely to be any different. it didn't help that you hadn't yet managed to make any genuine friendships with your classmates. it was understandable though, considering the expected workload at such a renowned university like monaco.

"hi, are you y/n l/n?"

too deep in your own thoughts about the assignment, you didn't realise the room had emptied completely. you also didn't realise other people apart from your professor knew your name. moving your gaze up to the source of the sound, you found a man almost too good looking to be true.

"oh, uh, yeah. yes, i am. sorry, who are you?"

with each word that escaped your mouth, you felt your face heating up. you didn't mean to be rude but you truly had no idea who you were talking to. how had you never noticed this greek god of a man in your class until now?

"i'm charles leclerc. we're in a group together for the assignment and i thought it would be a good idea to get your number so we can talk set up a time to talk about our ideas."

he held out his unlocked phone to you, inviting you to type in your number. if he was offended by your failure to recognise him it certainly didn't show which helped calm your frazzled nerves.

"oh, of course! sorry, i'm not used to someone else taking responsibility in a group project. usually i'm stuck doing everyone's work on top of my own. here you go." you replied while saving your number into his contacts.

he smiled at your admission and reassured you he wouldn't dare leave you to handle the entire project alone.

"i already have everyone else's numbers so i'll make a groupchat too. when are you free?"

as much as you would like to lie and say you had a life outside of studying, you didn't. but you would gladly say yes to any get together if it meant charles would be there too.

"honestly, i'm always free so any time works for me." you explained while packing your bag and standing up from your seat.

he grinned and walked with you towards the exit and out the building.

"yeah? how about now? there's this café i've heard is really good and i've been meaning to try it, i just haven't had the time recently."

you stopped in your tracks.

was he asking you on a date? this was definitely new. obviously you had been in a few relationships before but they had never quite managed to get you flustered like this on the first meeting.

truth be told, he had gone to that café a million times over as it was the closest one to campus that served the best croissants for cheap but you didn't need to know that.

"are you asking me on a date?" you asked, not hesitating to get straight to the point.

his grin flickered for a split second, almost in surprise at your bluntness, before growing impossibly wider.

"uh, yeah, i'm asking you on a date right now. so? what do you say?"

"hmmm, and what do i get out of it if i say yes?"

you didn't think twice about taking him up on his offer but it was fun to watch him scramble for reasons you should have a coffee with him. you watched him come up with several nonsensical arguments before you decided to put him out of his misery.

"relax, i'll go on a date with you! you should've seen your face!"

he blushed at your antics before joining in your giggles at his own expense. he had a feeling your laughter would become his favourite sound.

"what are you waiting for then? lead the way."

unsurprisingly, you two were the only ones who took part in the group project but you couldn't complain when you had such good company to help you.

"this is charles leclerc, he will be your race engineer starting from next season." your team principal fred vasseur gently pushed you away from your teammate to the new hire fresh out of internship at haas.

after the quick decline of your 2022 season, ferrari had wasted no time in sacking binotto and your less than competent engineer for much more suitably equipped individuals.

"pleasure to meet you, charles. i'm y/n l/n. are you sure you're ready for this?" you outstretch your hand to shake his.

"thank you, it's a pleasure to meet you as well, you are an inspiration to so many. i'm extremely grateful to be given this opportunity to work with such a talented driver like yourself. and yes i'm one hundred percent ready to give my everything so you can bring home some wins and maybe even the championship." he spoke with a conviction almost as if he had been practicing it in the mirror for weeks.

his hand wrapped around yours and you couldn't help but notice how warm they were even in the frigid winter. you grinned at his confidence and faith in not only himself but also the team and you as a driver. it was certainly the energy you needed after the less than impressive season that you had just wrapped up.

"i like him already! so much more positive than my last engineer. where have you been all this time?" you declared patting him on the back while looking at your team principal in approval.

he was so sure you could notice the pink tinge on his cheeks as he nervously smiled at your praise and suddenly found the carpeted floor the most interesting thing in the room to observe.

"i'm glad you two are getting along! now let's get on with this meeting. i would like to get home at a reasonable time today."

as the meeting dragged on, you found yourself staring at charles opposite you out of nothing but pure curiosity and maybe a little bit of humour. it was clear he harboured some feelings towards you that he couldn't hide no matter how hard he tried. that much was evident in the way he refused to even glance in your direction at the risk of making eye contact.

"we don't quite know how the others will perform yet but we definitely expect to be more on pace with red bull next year. this season wasn't our best but it gives us a good foundation to improve on which is better than nothing. any questions?"

even if there were any questions left unanswered everyone was much too tired to articulate them and so the meeting room fell into silence before you all said your goodbyes to each other wishing everyone a restful winter break.

you were headed out the door when you heard your name being called. you turned to see charles jogging to catch up to you and so you decided to wait for him at the exit.

"you excited for the winter break?" you strike up a conversation with him as you dawdled towards the car park together.

"yes, but i'm more excited for the season to start. i've been preparing for this my whole life. what about you? surely you're tired of being in the car?" he questioned with genuine interest.

"no, not really. i mean i've been preparing for this my whole life too. the travelling is a lot to handle but there's nothing more i enjoy than being in the car. don't get me wrong, i do like being at home too. i just love racing so much i wish i could do it all the time."

"really? you don't ever get tired of racing?" he looked over at you in wonder and you smiled at his disbelief.

"really. ever since i was a kid i've always wanted to be racing constantly. what about you? i mean pretty much all of us drivers got into the sport through karting. what made you want to be a race engineer?"

"well actually i did get into karting too. my father took me and my brothers to a local track and it all started there. i liked karting but i was always more interested in the technical side. my younger brother arthur liked it a lot though and he decided to pursue a career. he's actually stepping up to formula 2 next year."

"yeah? he must be pretty good then." you didn't recognise his brother's name because you were too busy with your own preparation every race weekend to watch the support series but you took his word for it.

"yeah, i'm really glad he's made it this far. we didn't have much money for karting when he was just starting out but we managed to make it work."

you were all too familiar with the struggles of funding and putting together enough sponsors just to make it through the season. there were already very few people getting into motorsport and the high costs didn't help. you had seen too many young talents drop out because they just couldn't afford it anymore. you were one of the lucky ones to secure a place in the ferrari driver academy and have their money to fall back on.

realising you were getting closer and closer to your car, you slowed down in hopes you could keep talking to charles for longer.

"so, why ferrari? it's a team with lots of history but we haven't won a championship since 2008." you asked with no ill intentions.

you really were just interested seeing as the team was currently the laughing stock amongst the grid and the fans - which you didn't blame them for. they had thrown away several chances of a championship with some of the most talented drivers, purely due to their own inability to perform when it was needed most.

"that doesn't matter to me. i've supported ferrari since i was little so it wasn't even a question which team i wanted to join. i remember i used to always follow the red car when they raced at monaco even before i knew it was a ferrari. anyone who has the chance to be a part of ferrari, would take that chance, no? i've barely started here but there's something special about being a part of ferrari." he explained with a look in his eyes that you could only imagine was the same wonder that appeared when watching the red ferrari of kimi räikkönen speed around his home track.

"what about you? you're the one who actually drives for ferrari so what made you sign with them?"

you stopped upon reaching your car neatly tucked inside the white lines.

"ah, i would love to tell you but i do have to get home."

charles' smile fell before he agreed, making his own excuses about his neighbours complaining of his late night ruckus he caused. both of you were disappointed at the fact you couldn't just keep talking for hours but you had another idea up your sleeve.

"but i would be happy to have dinner with you tomorrow to continue this conversation if you're free? if you want to join me that is! you don't have to."

"no, no i want to! that would be great! here's my number. i'll pick you up at 7?"

his initial plans of acting casual around you had been thrown out the window and he was already wishing for time to go faster. you couldn't help but smile at his eagerness - it was a change from your usually soulless dates who treated you like arm candy.

"great! thank you, charles, really. i haven't been this optimistic about an upcoming season in a while but you've already made me excited for the future, even though we just met. i have a feeling we're going to enjoy a lot of victories together." you admitted honestly.

you hadn't been completely happy with any of your seasons with the scuderia so far, always hungry for more despite exceeding the expectations of many.

"thank you, that's the biggest compliment i could receive. i have no doubt we can bring the team many wins."

the 2023 season went on to be one of your best performances in a time where red bull dominance was ever growing. although the championship was not quite in your firm grasp just yet, you had come closer than ever with the help of new management and, more importantly, charles. this was simply the beginning for you two.

"hey charles?" you called out looking up from your phone screen to find him pulling on his race suit.

"yes, mon ange?" he replied turning to face you sitting on the tiny bed.

even though you two had been dating for years, him and his pet names never failed to fluster you.

"do you think we're soulmates in every universe?" you asked after seeing the tik tok trend appear on your phone.

you weren't really expecting a serious answer from charles. you knew it was a silly theory but you decided to entertain the thought. however it seemed that charles had a different idea.

"maybe, maybe not. i'd like to think we are but even if we're not, that doesn't matter. what matters is that we're together in this one, no? besides, even if we weren't destined to be together, i'd still find you and choose you in every universe." he voiced casually, placing a soft kiss on your forehead while looking around the room for his racing boots.

his confessions of undying love to you had become a daily occurrence and it was always certain his words would make your heart melt.

"you've seen the trend, haven't you?" you questioned him. there was no way he had just come up with that answer on the spot.

"what trend? mon amour, you know i am not on social media as much as you are."

"the tik tok trend! are you sure you haven't seen it?"

"yes, i am very sure, mon ange. come on, i don't need to see a tik tok to tell you that i will always choose you."

you didn't fully believe him but you also knew that he was a terrible liar, his facial expressions giving him away no matter what with each attempt made.

"come here. one last good luck kiss for me?" he asked with a pleading look you could never deny and pulled you from the bed by your arms.

"of course, my love. i want you back safe in one piece, ok?" you held his face in your hands and placed a delicate kiss on his forehead, nose, each cheek and finally, his lips.

"anything for you."

[tarisilmarwen]

No... duh?

by Ian M. Giatti | Jay Cooper, the pastor of Violet Crown City Church, a congregation of about 125 people located in the North Austin area, said he decided to switch things up by generating an entire worship service using artificial intelligence, an experiment he said the church won't try again…

[dareactions]

SO SO SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU BACK

Don't you mind writing Dorian/Inquisitor marriage proposal? We were so robbed at the end of the game please.

Okay, so I haven't played Dorians romance in a while, so excuse me if its a bit OOC here. Tried my best to keep his personality in check lmao.

I decided to do the Inquisitor proposing to Dorian rather than the other way around, bcs our man deserves that. (Altho I do have an idea for him proposing as well maybe.)

Dorian can feel that something is off, it's in the air. It's that odd peculiar shift that sometimes passes by unknowingly and gradually but he can pinpoint the exact moment it occurred, it was two weeks ago during dinner. His amatus, the love of his life, the savior of the world- all that very important stuff, looked up at him with the most peculiar look and ever since it's been off.

''You'd tell me, if the world was ending again, wouldn't you?'' He speaks up from his seat near the open fireplace, his love glancing up from the mabari that had kept his focus for most of the night. Dorian didn't actually mind the dog as much as he thought he would. It's kind of cute, in a saliva slobbering kind of way. ''Yes, I'd like to think so. Why? Am I glowing green again?'' The joke falls horribly flat, Dorian does absolutely not smile whatsoever thank you very much.

''No, you're not glowing green. You're just being weird lately. Weirder than usual.'' Dorian can't help but huff, putting his book on the side-table with a lazy arm, it makes an uncomfortably loud 'thud' sound upon hitting the wood and he can't help but frown. ''I'm not being weird, you're being weird.'' Is the lame counter his boyfriend offers, focusing back on the mabari with a laugh.

Except Dorian knows that isn't it, not quite. ''No. Something is off, what is it? You told me after- after everything you'd be more honest.'' After the arm. After the mark almost tore him apart, he'd promised Dorian wholeheartedly to not keep a single thing from him.

His amatus stares for a long moment, long enough for Dorian to fidget in his chair. He pulls at the fabric of his linen shirt, and pushes a hand through his hair in an attempt to look less nervous at bringing up the promise. ''It's not the right moment.'' He finally responds, soft words that are barely heard over the crackling fire. ''I don't care about it being the right moment, if something is wrong I want to know.'' His words have far more bite in them than Dorian intends and he sighs after a while.

''Nothing is wrong, I promise.'' His lover stands up and makes his way across the room, and Dorian tries to not pout as a warm hand makes it to his knee. It's such a gentle motion he probably would've cried had it been done a few years ago.

''Then tell me.'' Dorian pushes and his love dares to smile that stupidly charming smile and make his chest clench in affection. He'd love this man until he died, well and truly. There was no other way around it.

''Very well, but you can't come and complain to me that I didn't do it properly later.'' He sighs and Dorian perks up, sitting up attentively and ignoring the laughter that makes the smallest hint of embarrassment rear its head.

''We've been through a lot, too much probably. And I honestly wasn't sure if I'd survive long enough to ask this. For a while it seemed like I'd be robbed of the chance to do so before it even seemed a possibility.'' Their hands interlink and Dorian for the millionth time notices all the small scars that cover his lovers hand. They speak tales of battles fought before and after they met, struggles nobody could ever dare to try and understand.

''But there was never a doubt in my mind. Because you are the most brilliant man I've ever met, compassionate enough for both us and snarky enough.'' ''Excuse you, I will have you know-'' Dorian interrupts but quickly gets shushed with a grin. ''Shush, I'm being romantic, love.'' His love laughs, pressing a kiss against Dorian's hand and sure enough its enough to shut him up.

''What I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted. Is that you have enough positive qualities that I could write more than a few books about it. You know, normally people have enough time to write speeches down for these things- but you just had to be so perceptive.'' Dorian should probably be annoyed at that, but he just grins- the most proud smug look that he could manage right now when he feels the need to cry sneak up on him.

''You're tearing up, oh, andraste's tits-'' ''Amatus, hurry up and ask so I can say yes.''

''Dorian, will you marry me?'' The question is barely asked before Dorian kisses him, all giggly and warm and far too eager. They stumble to the floor and their laughter bounces off the walls of the study, Dorian's tears an annoying addition he'd lie about later if asked.

''Yes, I'll marry you. I'll marry you a hundred times over, fall in love with you in every life possible- you absolute fool, I followed you to the ends of the world, of course I'll marry you.''

Dorian followed him to the ends of the world and he'd do it again, but this time he'd much prefer if they had matching rings for the occasion.

[lemonhemlock]

finally sitting down to write my barbieheimer review and coming out as an oppenheimer hater so DO NOT PROCEED if you are annoyed by criticism of it or do not want to hear it or whatever. seriously. if you liked the movie, good for you. i did not. this is going to be a long rant. i am so not joking right now.

disclaimer that i went to the cinema with the very best of intentions, wanting and fully expecting to like oppenheimer. while that didn't happen, i loved the double feature experience and do not regret it. i spent the entire day at the mall with my boyfriend and we just had a fun, carefree day. i've wanted to see both and had planned to for a long time and it was great. v interesting as a cultural zeitgeist moment.

that being said, the reason oppenheimer leaves me cold is because it is a fundamentally incoherent movie that doesn't know what it's about, tries to do everything all at once and succeeds in nothing. each hour of running time could have easily been a separate movie: one about oppenheimer's life leading to los alamos, another one about the actual creation of the atomic bomb and another one with the robert downey jr plot.

there are huge disadvantages to trying to cram so many different story beats into one singular movie and, if you ask me, i wouldn't advise anyone to do it. but nolan strikes me as the kind of overrated ~artiste that rarely hears no for an answer. this movie was in DIRE need of a streamlining. you can hire the greatest editor in history, but if you give him that script, they're not going to be able to salvage it.

i thought the editing was consistently bad throughout the movie, but especially atrocious in the first part about oppenheimer's early life. the result of this lack of plot focus is that the movie basically consists in a string of tiny scenes that last for seconds sometimes, all meshed together like a freaking montage. now, to each their own, but i cannot emphasize how much i hate this storytelling choice. no, but i genuinely despise it. whenever i see it, in movies or television, it just drives me up the wall. you can say it's a specific pet peeve of mine or whatever, maybe it doesn't bother others as much, but i honestly do not respect it. i think it's categorically lazy, something we've seen in a hundred different movies already and the most simplistic way of doing an exposition dump. i abhor the feeling of watching a mashup passing itself off as some kind of creative experiment in storytelling.

now, had this overused, lackadaisical introduction lasted a reasonable amount of time (maybe 20 min?), perhaps my stance would not have been so riled up. but it went on for AGES. i think the whole exposition part lasted for about an hour and coupled with the hurried procession of unconnected scenes and the asinine marvel movie semi-upbeat background music, the result was just cringe. and i specifically choose this term because this movie is touted as being a milestone moment in cinema or whatever. genuinely insane to me.

cillian murphy meets florence pugh for the first time and within seconds she starts berating him for not joining the communist party. who speaks like that? no natural progression to the conversation at all, we have to get from point A to point B and that's surely more important. you blink again and they're having sex. she stops mid-act because she has the sudden, irrepressible urge to check out his library (??). she makes him recite his famous aphorism from sanskrit while shoving the Bhagavad Gita in his face. the man is craning his neck in the most uncomfortable sex position ever. there is nothing natural about this, just stilted dialogue and an edgy highschooler's interpretation of a cool flirtation. i struggle to even call it that because they don't even get to flirt. too many conversations in this film sound genuinely inorganic.

everything is so rushed. a three-hour long movie should NOT feel rushed. but this is the natural consequence of trying to cram so many things into it: the scenes are too short and, because of that, lack build-up and, because of that, the atmosphere suffers greatly, the actors don't have time to act, the relationships between them feel forced and the overall movie feels like it intentionally won't allow you to linger or catch your breath because then you'll figure out it has nothing to say. there is hardly any physics in it. there is hardly any social or philosophical commentary. the last third of the movie turns into this random whodunit / who-framed-oppenheimer type of scooby doo plot. that scene with rdj unraveling his evil plot to that young man feels lifted out of an agatha christie novel. why would rdj even care about what that green boy thinks of him? well, it's because that lad is the audience stand-in, of course. another stereotypical storytelling trick we've seen a million times before that nolan resorts to in his quest to create a "masterpiece".

there are some VERY talented people in this cast. a genuine tour-de-force when it comes to acting skills, even in cameo roles. yet no chance of showing any of that. they're just reciting lines because there is no time for anything else. there is no time to let their talent and performance shine. yes, not even cillian murphy, the titular character. i know that man can act because i've seen him for over a decade in various productions. not in oppenheimer though. there's no time. it feels like they're trying to read out to me the entire encyclopaedia britannica in 10 minutes.

i struggle to identify the theme or point of the movie. i heard nolan say it's about the consequences of one's actions. bitch, where? i'm not joking right now, there's like maybe 5 minutes of exploring that in a 3h-movie. i need everyone to stop being so unserious for real. i admit that i haven't been actively searching, but i haven't encountered any criticism either. is everyone just pretending to like this movie because they're afraid of being labelled a philistine? is this an emperor's new clothes type of situation? this whole previous discourse about how people will get bored or need to pay attention to what's happening on screen... there is nothing difficult or philosophical about oppenheimer. it's a very straightforward movie.

to me, it feels like nolan took a very interesting topic in and of itself, namely the creation of the atomic bomb, and did nothing interesting with it. he's just serving me facts about oppenheimer* with little to no commentary attached and a tiny amount of artistic interpretation. i say that because it has, like, that one scene when oppenheimer is imagining the flesh melting off of his audience while giving a war propaganda speech, meant to symbolize his conflicting views. the stream-of-consciousness element could have been an interesting lens through which to tell this story, but it was way under-utilized. this project could have slapped actually had it been filmed exclusively through oppenheimer's POV like an A24 horror movie.

*i say facts but in reality i need to actually fact-check to weed out the fictional elements bc i know next to nothing about this man, other than him spearheading the manhattan project

anyway, it's true that i am being harsh with this movie also because of the (undeserved) hype surrounding it and the inevitable ovations attached to any nolan production. but, imo, it is disappointing for a filmmaker of his calibre, with his experience and resources and the goodwill surrounding him to put out such fundamentally lazy nonsense

onto barbie now. first of all, yes, they're like apples and oranges, but one point of comparison is that this is a a very self-aware movie that never loses sight of what it's about and doesn't meander or diverge pointlessly from its main themes and message. after dismantling oppenheimer, i can't claim that barbie is going to revolutionize cinema or destroy the patriarchy or strengthen womanly bonds worldwide, but it's very on point. it's visually stunning, has a lot of easter eggs and cute details, catchy tunes and just general preciousness. everyone playing a doll was actively adorable. the re-watch quality feels promising, it has a very good chance of becoming a cult classic. it was heartwarming and endearing without being too overly sugary & funny without insulting jokes.

the choice to depict men as reductive and an afterthought as counter-point to how women are often portrayed on screen as accessories was indeed interesting. so was the idea of boys and girls diverging once they "discover" patriarchy. now, don't get me wrong, barbie is not a complicated movie either. its feminism is pretty simplistic, no doubt about it, but it doesn't take itself too seriously either. i do wish that america ferrera's mid-movie speech about women's position in society was a little more refined because those ideas were indeed very basic and kind of eye-roll worthy, like a feminism 101 class. i could have done without helen mirren's voice over (it didn't really add a lot, imo, although the joke about margot robbie was funny). the intro spoofing 2001 space odyssey was a little too on-the-nose as well, so i can't say it's not without a couple of hiccups and cringe moments.

nonetheless, barbie is, by no means, a short movie either. clocking in at 114 min, the pendulum swings towards the "long" side of running times. but, as opposed to oppenheimer, it feels neither rushed, nor drawn out. the pacing is just right. the actors in barbie have the space to shine, even those in small roles. the plot has room to breathe. relationships have room to grow. disregarding the subject matter (in an attempt at objectivity, as one might prefer one topic over the other), strictly from the perspective of storytelling techniques, editing, cinematography & character development, barbie is plainly the superior movie.

[edsbacktattoo]

ok i was kind of purposefully avoiding the details of the gravy basket theory because it's sounded so dumb but holy shit i really didn't know the extent of it. sorry in advance to be rambling in your inbox.

i thought if i wanted to talk about it i should read the post in full but honestly that was a struggle on its own. it just completely misunderstands the way the show uses ed experiencing purgatory as metaphor. like, the innkeeper does not show us this sort of wish fulfilling dream state at all, and ed externalizing his self hatred into the figment of hornigold is a simple, concise idea that the show specifically goes out of its way to make clear. episode 8 just doesn't have this. like, you'd have to make the argument that literally EVERY CHARACTER PRESENT IN THE EPISODE is somehow representative of an aspect of stede's psyche. it's not just a matter of him projecting his desires into a falsely constructed space, it's a matter of internal issues manifesting from the subconscious, which is what the show has established. it's particularly bizarre to me that they don't make any effort to argue what izzy is meant to represent in this theory, or what him dying could mean symbolically (which is. y'know. the point of the gravy basket as it's been explored). also there's just a complete disregard for ed's arc in the finale which is. eugh. come on.

and this is all still being generous in taking the idea of the "gravy basket" at face value. like, it feels a little ridiculous to even entertain the idea enough to try to argue it. i'm just so baffled.

(it did make me think about psychonauts to the point of wanting to replay it, so. i guess there's that.)

PRECISELY!!!!!!!!! don’t apologise for rambling in my inbox when you’re so correct my dear friend <3

i can’t believe that this theory has such a vice grip on some people. when it first appeared on my dash (and it did, not because a mutual reblogged it, but bc i follow the ofmd tag, and tumblr is evil and gave me the post bc it thought it was being helpful) i thought it was. a joke. i thought the op was having a laugh. but the more i read the more i started to worry. it takes a very distinct lack of media comprehension to come up with something like this.

now, i want to make it clear that i do feel for the people who enjoy izzy normally. like the folks who just like him because he’s interesting and fucked up and strange. the people that don’t woobify him, ya know? those guys are all right.

but the kind of devotion that leads to behaviour like this? threatening and belittling the writers of the show? calling ed violent and thinking he’s going to be an abuser to stede, the man he’s in love with? if you genuinely believe that then there is something seriously wrong with you, and i think you ought to look introspectively <3

also, as a side note, a large criticism i’ve seen for season 2 is poor writing (which is just not at all correct) but to make up for said “poor writing” the theories that people are whipping up are genuinely like. worse? imagine if they did the gravy basket thing again. gravy basket 2: electric boogaloo. that would be bad writing. that would be lazy!!

no, what they did instead was deliberate and careful and beautiful and hopeful. open ended and bittersweet. and yet. AND YET!!!! you get folks trying to cope so bad it makes them look stupid.

and this is all that i will say on the matter. tho, ive never played psychonauts and this might be the thing that makes me dive into that :)

[listieshadows]

Listie's 600+ words about Random Access Memories (Drumless Edition) or: (Listie didn't write all this for nuthin' and she ain't getting a RYM account)

It's kind of impossible to listen to Random Access Memories (Drumless Edition) without just knowing in the back of your head that this is a low-effort cash grab. As much as I honestly wanted to give this album a fair shake, I just know that someone up top figured they could squeeze a little extra out of Random Access Memories' anniversary by having someone go in and just mute the percussion track. I mean, I know there's a section of people out there who actively seek out and enjoy drumless versions of popular music, but was there really enough of them to justify this? Were people really clamoring for this? Was anyone back in 2013 listening to Random Access Memories and being like, "Man, this is fantastic and all, but I just can't stand having a backbeat lock in the groove"?

The best thing this edition does is really make you appreciate the drums on the original. Which, it's not like they needed to be appreciated any more, but it's remarkable how many tracks on this album are downgraded to just "fine" at best once you remove the drums. "Get Lucky", "Beyond", "Instant Crush"... Sure? They're OK? I guess? But would anyone regularly reach for these over the original? I don't think so; the change isn't really substantial enough.

The track that gets it the worst, I think, is "Lose Yourself To Dance". The drums and percussion are a huge reason why that track works so well. I mean, who the hell wanted this disco dance song to have its four-to-the-floor beat removed? What the hell's even the point of it, then? It just sounds so... Sparse.

(Well, actually, the track that gets it the worst worst is "Doin' It Right", because once you remove the drums from that it's literally just an acapella song. But that's kind of funny, I think, and, hey, if it can provide me some kind of entertainment... It doesn't stop it from being bad, but still. And shoutout, too, to "Giorgo By Moroder" losing its click track.)

Honestly, I don't think it got any better than the first single they released for this edition, "Beyond". It's ambient enough that it can work without the drums. If that had been the only track released drumless—and maybe "The Game Of Love" as well���sure, fine. Just an odd little experiment that doesn't mean much. But once you start trying to remove the drums from the groovier, dancier tracks, that's where everything falls apart.

I can't imagine Daft Punk themselves approving this. I mean, I know if I were them I wouldn't have signed off on this. But I guess they did, 'cuz here it is. I suppose they just heard something in it that I can't. And I wish I could, because as it stands, like I said above, this is just a nakedly lazy cash grab. If they really wanted to release another Random Access Memories album for its anniversary, I think a true remix album would've been a lot better. Let some other people come in and give these songs a fresh spin. I know they weren't entirely against remixes of these songs; they did do their own 10-minute remix of "Get Lucky" back in the day. So what would've been the harm in letting some other people give it a shot?

I certainly know the fans are gonna remix it. That's probably gonna be the best thing we get out of this release, since removing the drums makes each song a lot more conducive to a lot more than they were before. (And we might get some more drum covers, too, if that's more your thing.) But as it stands, as a listening experience on its own, I think everyone would be fine going drumlessless.

[x-tracuddlycactus]

I actually love your list! Would you give reasoning to some of them (especially those who are high on the list)? Like wriothesley, zhongli etc.

Aww ty!

(My reasoning kind of goes all over the place here)

Soo my main reason for B.aizhu being at the top is mainly because I just love him that much. I don't really see him being a very gassy man, but when he burps, it always has a level of bass to it that he can feel rumbling in his chest. I can also totally see him using his burps to tease his s/o if he knows they like it, but he'd do it in the most polite way possible if that makes sense? Gonna have to make a tiny drabble about that idk hehehehehehe. He's purely there for personal preferences lol

I.tto actually shares first place with B.aizhu! It's because not only is he one of my top favorites, he actually is probably the best burper out of everyone on the list. Want to hear him belch out the alphabet? Done. Want to see him rattle the table from how loud he can get? Easy peasy! On top of all of that, he is absolutely shameless and cocky (which are traits I adore). He really has it going for me to say the least.

As for N.euvillette, I put him in third (technically 2nd) because he has the potential to be an even better belcher. It's just that his personality keeps him from achieving that. He's a very refined dragon, but that doesn't mean he can't burp. His main diet canonically consists of water, so he's bound to have these wet, bubbly, and guttural burps that really sound out and can make heads turn. The thing is, aside from knowing how to repress them, he doesn't really have much control over them, so he falls short on the talent end.

I put W.rio a tier below N.euvi, mainly out of personal preference, and because I think he would have these sort of lazy burps that last for a craaaaazy amount of time. I kind of want him to be more shameless tbh, cause he will definitely try to hold back around people he knows. Strangers, not so much. If he didn't hold back, he would definitely have much louder, more thunderous belches that would echo in his office. I think he would also try to practice learning how to burp on command if he had the time.

Z.hongli is another character that is up there for personal preferences. I think he has the same range as N.euvi when it comes to burping. The thing is, while N.euvi holds back to keep his reputation, Z.hongli holds back because he wants to be polite. However, if he finds out someone he dislikes is annoyed by his eructations, he'll casually let loose some airy burps into his fist just to fuck with them, all while playing dumb and saying he's an old man with heartburn lol. Idk ig since Z.hongli has the choice to care about his manners or not, and N.euvi has no choice but to be mindful. It hits differently?

(TW For alcohol mention.)

Last but not least, we have K.aveh! I put him in last place on the top tier because, honestly, I feel like this guy has some top-tier burps. The thing is, he doesn't eat as often as he should, so he can't produce them as deep and grand as I'd like him to. He does burp pretty often since he's probably stressed all the time, and all that tension just puts pressure on his stomach. Plus, he is prone to hunger burps. However, these ones are short, quiet, and sound more like a hiccup than anything else.

The problem is, I would prefer someone to burp because they're relaxed, full, or even feeling mischievous. In fact, I was debating on putting G.aming in his place instead, and writing this out is making me think that again. Hmm...

[destinyc1020]

can I say a confession. I kinda lost all my interest in the MCU not even the prospect of zendaya and tom returning in sm4 is exciting to me obviously I would eat up a press tour but not the movie. I dont post end game this MCU has been rather flat and dull. No hate to people who love the MCU, I really hope the MCU delivers yall some magical stuff. Its just watching other major blockbusters and seeing their quality like top gun or mad max or dune or spiderverese like Im reminded at what cinema can be when creators are given time and freedom to build their own worlds and create unique moments story telling or when we see great cinematigraphy and sound design.

Like Im glad I opened myself to see smaller things or films I've never thought I would watch like poor things, american fiction, la chimera, all of us strangers, past lives and just being transported and experiencing something amazing and emotional and feeling rewarded as an audience member. I dont know I feel like mcu is kinda lagging behind and I feel lile audiences deserve better products and the MCU just dont deliver anymore.

Thanks for your confession Anon. 😊

Idk if you meant for me to hold this "Confession" off until Sunday so that you could have immunity lol 😆, but I saw this posted to my inbox yesterday, and it didn't say to hold off from posting until Sunday, so I assume you wanted me to post it. 🤷🏾‍♀️ If I misunderstood, I apologize.

Anyway.....

I'm definitely a self-proclaimed "Marvel Girl" (always have been 😊), but I also love DC comics as well. I'm not one of those who feels like fans HAVE to choose btwn one or the other. 👀

With that said, Marvel to me is like the fun, exciting, "junk food" of cinema. Like eating junk food, watching Marvel movies is fun to digest, it's enjoyable, it's exciting, you feel GREAT while watching it, and you can't wait until you see some other new films coming out.

But, you can't exist SOLELY on junk food and be healthy, just like if you're truly a fan of film, you can't ONLY watch Marvel films and be 100% satisfied in your movie-viewing life. 🤷🏾‍♀️ You need a balance.

It sounds like you're definitely a fan of film, and you watch a variety of stuff. That's awesome! 😃 👍🏾☺️

While I love Marvel, I too have noticed that some of their more recent films have left some fans a little disappointed, and just feeling a little "Marvel Fatigue".

I honestly think that they got worried that after they killed off most of the OG Avengers, that fans would lose interest, and so they started just churning out more and more films and series in order to put out the "next phase". But in all honesty, I kinda feel like after NWH and Wakanda Forever came out, I sort of feel like Marvel should have taken a little bit of a BREAK, and allowed the fans to miss them (sometimes, absence makes the heart grow fonder), and really taken their TIME in writing better films going forward after resting for a few years. 👀

Cuz you're right, some films are feeling a little sloppy and rushed, and honestly, when you compare some of the newer Marvel films to films like "The Dark Knight" , or even "The Batman", or shooot.... even "Spider-man 2" lol 😆, you can kind of see the STARK difference. (No pun intended lol)

Obviously, Marvel films aren't going to be like "Poor Things" or "All of Us Strangers", so I wouldn't even compare them to those types of films rofl 🤣

But yea, like when you even compare some of the Marvel films to a movie like "Top Gun: Maverick" (which was AWESOME and brought back old school style Hollywood filmmaking), you can tell the immediate difference in how you feel when watching it, the writing, the cinematography, the MUSIC, everything....

I think Marvel reigned Supreme for many many years (over a decade), and so maybe they got lazy or felt that MORE content more OFTEN was "better", but I actually think the opposite. 👀 🤷🏾‍♀️

[housewarningparty]

Okay so after saying things were a bit hit and miss I got like 8 episodes in a row that I liked so things definitely picked up, first off yeah you were right Hush is so good and it's even more impressive that it's so good standalone rather than like I Will Remember You which stands on the shoulders of all that came before. 'obscenestake.gif, my beloved' is direct from my notes and yeah that whole scene was an all timer for sure. But even in general killer sound design, great physical acting on all fronts, also the Gentlemen great designs, and real unsettling. Also getting to see Tara for the first time was very nice. And I give it bonus points cause I was sure it was gonna kill off Olivia because she was expendable but she managed to live so good for her.

Loved Doomed it was great having prime Hellmouth stuff and Buffy death impacts. Everyone getting to go back to school. Spike also got some great stuff in this episode with him feeling doomed himself and getting that turn around loving fighting demons now. Also from my notes and my now rarely appearing Faith Watch portion Buffy unprompted invoking her in a comparison to Riley, mirror all the love interests go ahead.

Similarly in A New Man I appreciate whoever made the decision to have Ethan Rayne talk about how he and Giles are sorcerers who own the night while drinking together and then immediately cutting to Willow and Tara having their very romantic rose magic night together, what could this possibly imply about Giles and Ethan's past relationship? Also just like whenever Ethan shows up I have a great time love that guy, and especially that this time there wasn't even a larger plan it was just he wanted to mess with Giles. Plus demon Giles teamup with Spike, very fun especially the last shot of him in the episode was crashing Giles' car.

On the Angel front Hero and all the fallout that's been happening on that front has been great, like I knew Doyle couldn't have been sticking around forever but I didn't realise it was so soon that "Is that it, am I done?" At the end of the episode hit so hard, loved it. Parting Gifts with some fallout from that and the return of Wesley loved it. I enjoyed Somnambulist's look at Angel's past siring coming back on him, surely the most lesser member of Angel's family. I also enjoy that to be Angel's friend you have to promise you'll kill him. Anyway then Expecting broke my streak and She wasn't that much better so Angel really letting the side down there.

The Initiative stuff across I in Team and Goodbye Iowa was okay. I liked all the Buffy really doesn't fit into that style of operation, but I feel like it was a bit of lazy writing to just kill off Walsh immediately after her heel turn instead of dealing with the fallout of Buffy having a human enemy she can't kill or anything like Ethan had suggested towards in A New Man where the answer was him being carted off to an off grid jail which can't be done to Walsh. And Adam has a floppy disk drive on his chest which is pretty incredible and is his greatest strength for me so far they at least put him over physically strong so he's got that going for him. I am wondering if he's kinda a mirror for Spike with him being too human for demons now and obviously was always too demon for humans and Adam is made of Demons and Humans but that might be pushing it and he's just a mirror for Riley. But good for Buffy getting a good sexual encounter with Riley that might help her start working off the s2 Angel trauma even if things did still rapidly deteriorate soon after. Also lotta cute outfits for Buffy in Goodbye Iowa, her sushi pajamas that bandana outfit she was hunting in, the disguise that at first was just her with a pair of glasses on until she found a lab coat in the elevator.

I am really enjoying Spike now I said it last update but he's such good fun. I've got This Year's Girl up next so I'm very much looking forwards to that.

Hush is SUCH a good episode. I honestly really love it when Buffy leans more into its straight up horror elements. And I love when it spends a whole episode on a particular gimmick and it really pays off. Ethan is ALSO really fun and you're so right the juxtaposition of him and giles/tara and willow is very :eyes emoji: - love ethan, wish he showed up more.

and hard agree re: walsh. i think this is one of the key places where the entire s4 big bad falters hard. it's tough bc the master in s1 was iconic and really more about buffy vs mortality/fate, right? and it set the tone, worked perfectly. s2/s3 had a great one-two punch in angel and faith, deeply personal an emotional. so s4 is in a tough starting place! i think keeping walsh around and leveraging her relationship with riley would have been more effective than the pivot to adam. alas.

re: riley also - he has many critics but i DO think it's nice that after much agony buffy finally got just a big handsome boyfriend she could be horny with and have it not be totally traumatizing. she deserves this.

Expecting + She are like two of the worst episodes of television ever made. augh. and i've got some major issues with hero BUT you're right that "Is that it, am I done?" hits so fucking hard. god. what a moment.

[softue]

I'm not enough

TLDR; I don't feel like I'm enough for you, I hate myself and how much of a lazy piece of shit I am. You could do better even though I want to try and be better for you. I'm not enough for you, not in a like, you need more. I'm just not good enough, and it's not your fault. It's mine, I'm a bum who sits around with the hopes of the fucking world but once it's time to act I crumble under the pressure. I get in my head and over think, ruining my chances at a happy life. You deserve better and no matter how much I tell myself "I'll be better" or "I'll get this done, I'll do it for them" I just don't believe it. I'm a quitter, all my life it's all I've done. I quit school and cooked my brain, I quit my friends and let them go, I quit my health and let it slip. All my life I said it's whatever, giving up on it like the bum I am. You could do better, that's why I get so worried about you figuring that out. I don't have much to offer, most shit will rot away with me. I don't deserve you, I never have and I know it. You know it, you know you could do better. I wonder why you keep me around, the real reason. You might like my attention or the option. It's not my looks, figured that out a while ago. I don't really bring anything, just entertainment and a pastime. All I'm good for, if I'm being honest. To Be honest, I didn't accidently burn myself on a stove. Sorry I lied, I was going to tell you but I don't need you worrying about me or having that mental ideal about me. Honestly I hate myself, I hate my skin, I hate my hair, I hate my eyes. God my fucking eyes, I hate the way they rest, makes me look tried/weak. I hate everything, and it's my fault. Most of it? I can't control being black, but I can control my weight and hair health. I let myself go, it's my fault. Most things are, cause I'm a quitter.

I'm going nowhere, fuck the idea of 100T or streaming. I'm shit at val, worst of the worst. I can't maintain a streaming schedule cause I'm so fucking lazy. Every life schedule I try to make ends up failing me, well not failing me, I fail it. I fail everything, hell right now I'm supposed to be doing my chem shit. Finishing it off, but sometimes I wonder what the point of it is. I try to find hope and reason to live but every time I do it gets stripped from me. I hate my brain and I'd rather paint it on a wall then live with it in my skull. Don't worry though, I'm too pussy to kill myself, I think. I'm a fucking mess, and empty shell of a human. Sometimes I wonder if I treat you like my mom, like when you say "I'm not your mother". I have to take a step back and think, because I don't want you to feel that way. I don't need one, and I'm not looking. I just want someone to love me, yk? It's odd, I have this hole in my chest, this void that needs to be filled. I think it's love? I've tried everything else. Sex made me feel worse. Ignoring it made me want to die even more than I am. God made me feel guilty, still does. Idk man, life's weird. I don't really know how to put it. I'm scared to say it the wrong or right way because I don't want to lose you. That's why I mostly keep my mouth shut, so you don't get mad at me or have to correct me. Makes life easier. You make me want to try though, in life and shit. Which is new, most of the time I get that feeling of contentment. With you I don't, I know I HAVE to be better for you. There isn't a choice, you should have the world, you deserve the world. I want to do my best to give that too you. I just struggle, ig? It's less of a struggle and more of a wave. I wake up with a fire under me and then it slowly dies over a day or two. I get the willpower to live and then lose it. I get how cringe this might sound or how long it's getting. You don't have to read it. I never really write them for you to read them, just to imagine myself having a convo with you and help me clear my clouded mind. I wouldn't post them but it's the chance you read them that gives me that mindset? Like a gamble, idk man. All I know is I want to be the one for you, and I'm still going to try(?) and do my best. Even though my best isn't enough. 

It's not you that makes me feel like I'm not enough, well. Entirely? It's not your fault, its my brain overthinking and shit. Sometimes I feel like you bless me with chances and I keep fumbling them. Over and over. We keep getting into these "ruts" but btw I don't know what to call them. It's happening over and over, almost weekly. Which I feel like makes you not want to talk to me, I'd feel that way. I think, but I don't know. I don't know a lot when it comes to you. You're new to me, whole new ideals and mindset. I'm not used to this, at all. When I say diff mindset I mean like, the whole "Coming home to me" isn't anything I've heard before, and I'm still trying to understand and adjust. Just sounds like an open relationship to me. I think it's not that? I don't know. It's all so new, it's weird. I don't know how to feel or how to act about it or on it. I don't want to change who you are but does that mean I should change who I am? Is one of us right and the other is wrong? Are we both wrong and right? It's all so much, spinning in my mind. I don't want to lose you and I feel like we could work out, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one willing to change. I'm trying to understand your pov but I don't feel like mine is getting seen. When we get into "ruts" and I misinterpret something you say. You say I'm "Putting words into your mouth" but when you do it your just understanding what I said better than I did. I don't like it. I don't like that. It's toxic, even if you don't realize you're doing it. You are. I don't want to argue or anything but I want to be able to speak my mind. I want to be able to have a conversation without you or me getting mad. I get you match energy but I don't do that to you, when you get mad at me and raise your voice I try my hardest to understand you. I get it, you're trying. But I need to get this off my chest. I can feel this mental weight leaving me. as I type. I don't want to ruin your day, or make you mad or cry. I just want to be able to be open. I know I struggle with understanding you when you're open. I'm sorry. I really am, we both have things we need to work on. I'd love to sit down and talk about it, like we planned. A weekly sit down chat about things. Sorry if this ruined your day or your mood.

I feel a lot better. After getting this off my chest. I'm not quitting, at least right now. I'm going to keep trying to be better for you. I know this whole thing is written poorly. Its pacing is weird, but it's how I think. This is straight from my brain. It's easier this way for me to express how I feel. I like you, a lot. I really do care about you, and us. I want to be better for you and myself. Sorry for all the times I've made you mad, or said the wrong thing. I know it's a lot to ask but could you tell me when I do? I never meant for you to feel like a dog, it's not how I meant it. I would have taken it back, trust me. I never want to hurt you like that. With my words or in any way. I'd never say something like that to hurt you, please. Trust me, and tell me so I can make it right. I can't read your mind, like how you can't read mine. Even if you can't tell me right away, please try and tell me at some point after. I don't want you hurting, especially if it's from something I said or did. 

[hesnotavillain]

is there still anyone here?

it's trully been ages and tbh i almost didn't remembered the right email or password. i was creating an account on substack, since apparently that's a thing now (or has been forever and i'm only now finding about bc people are sharing theirs on my timeline) bc i was feeling like writing to no one really, just to put some feelings into words and then i remembered this "place" exists.

so funny (and cringe, obviously) getting to see how i spent years and years and lived through so much mental illness and so many fictional obsessions. this is like a museum of a lifetime, im not kidding.

writing this is also making me see how fucking bad my english actually is nowadays (if it was ever better)

let's see. im 23. got in college last year. quit my antidepressants the year before - which was also the year the guy i was seeing (because surprise surprise, you're bi!) and didn't have much expectations on became my boyfriend and potential future husband. i love him very much and we laugh a lot together. ngl i do miss women sometimes tho. just that specific sapphic atmosphere you know? dont really see myself away from it for the rest of my life. i mean, that just sounds like a very long time.

oh! i started the gym very recently. cant say that it changed my life yet, but honestly im hoping on that. it doesnt really have to change my life, but if it gets me some dopamine to go through my days with a nice ass as a bonus, i'll be happy. eating is not really the problem, cooking is. im too fucking lazy and this is actually the biggest fucking rock on my shoes. is that even a saying outside brazil? anyway.

i want to say i miss being a teenager, like maybe being 16-19 but man how can i say this when i was so fucking miserable mentally for way before that. im way better now, but sometimes i miss it and i know that really the only thing i miss is not having a real thought about anything that concerns real life because i was too drowned on gay content and too engaged with my internet friends. lmao. that sure was the life huh.

i dont think this writing exercise is working, but i also dont know what there is to 'work' really. i feel like there's a zillion subjects travelling aroung my mind all the time and i wanna deal with each but never know where to start so i guess that explains the messines.

im kinda excited to turn 30 (in a I'm Totally Romanticizing Turning 30 From Now On Because I Believe I'll Be At My Finest Era slightly delusional way). (if global warming even let us get there without massively destructing my mediocre reality). im also scared of the day i'll lose my loved ones. i feel like for the first time in my life im starting to understand that there's just so much life to live. so much life. how can every single possible thing, even the good ones, result on anxiety tho.

im already tired of this (writing) and dont know how to finish but for now i guess the substancial thing i can't forget is that i made it to right here and i'm the one who can get me to right there. so. just keep rolling my dudes.

[roci-wolf]

okay so. the album.

hehe i wrote all my thoughts and ranked the songs here~ if you’re interested

but yeah i agree with everything you said. hall of fame truly is THAT GIRL!! i love that song. it’s such a trip to listen to. and it’s the perfect intro to SKZ, not just the album

and s-class… i definitely see what you mean. i think when i first heard it i was like WHOA what’s going onnnnnn cause it was just very very interesting for them to switch genres like that. and i had a theory about it too but i also didn’t bother looking into it bc i got lazy AHHAHAHAHAH but yeah it’s such a great song

and honestly i didn’t really pay too much attention to FNF at first. and then i did and i was like…. amazed. cause i didn’t know they were singing about the nature lost during the fire in australia! i– like that really shocked me. i didn’t mention it when i first wrote my song impressions bc i was so focused on *cough* criticising certain songwriting *cough* 👀😂 but really when i realised i was completely floored. not just by the song but also by the fact that they made that song? like… chris and felix… man, it’s rare for people to love their home country this much, yknow? to write a song for it. they definitely didn’t have to. but they did, out of love. and i just… idk colour me impressed and touched, i suppose.

and yes chan expressing his thoughts and encouragement in youtiful was very heartwarming 💛 i do think it’s a beautiful song. like the melody is just… so calming. i just wish the lyrics were better jejdjdhshsjd (man i feel so mean. esp since he’s my bias and i’m sure he poured his heart into it but !!! i just– can’t HAHAHAHAH)

yesss, i read what you wrote about the songs and damn, i agree with everything... and i mean, EVERYTHING if yk what i mean... i'll get to that 👀

tbh hall of fame could easily be a marvel soundtrack and i think that's what makes me like it so so much kcjskdn

and yeah, i get what you mean with s-class! it really does sound plausible, idk if they did it with that in mind but i can see the vision and it fits sooo

yesss, it also took me a while to notice fnf, but after reading the lyrics and watching the mv as well, it gave me goosebumps. now, the songwriting... is definitely better than youtiful 🤣 and no, you are not mean, what you did is constructive criticism and you were honest so it's ok! i have the same thoughts, i just didn't say anything because i've seen some stays debate over it and i wanted to play it safe 😭 but don't worry bestie, i agree, it rlly isn't chan's best written song, but the act in itself is appreciated and it shows that they rlly do pay attention to what their fans say

and i am sure that chan would be very happy to read your opinion, because how else is an artist supposed to grow if they don't see their mistakes, right? anyway, it wasn't really a 'mistake', just a work that could have been chiseled a little more. but yeah, my point is, i'm sure he'd understand 🤣 and that he'd love you just as much regardless. and as you said, i think that more practice on his part would bring much better results from him. i've noticed him getting more confident and writing english lyrics more often lately so i'm sure we can look forward to some better full eng songs

i meaaan, connected is really enjoyable and it's written well according to it's genre soo 👀 i'm expectant for what else he has in store

[idealisticrealism]

Hey @igetthebag! Firstly, no need to apologise about your English! If I tried to write something like this in my second language I would probably sound like an 8 year old lol. Secondly, thank you so much for the compliment on my writing talent (that means a lot, seriously) and for suggesting that I could be Miranda K haha! Man, I would be absolutely living the dream if I could be a showrunner like her.

Honestly though I know my positivity for the show/S2 isn't the typical reaction that a lot of fans have had; I think part of it was that I fell so hard for S1 that I went into S2 already very prepared to love it even if it didn't give me everything I wanted, but also as you probably noticed in my recaps (I'm honoured that you went to the effort of reading them all btw, I know that must have taken quite a while!! haha) I very much tend to look at canon and come to my own conclusions about why certain things happened or why characters behaved the way they did. I completely respect that you didn't think S2 was done well and that you were disappointed by it (everyone has a right to their own opinion, and yours is absolutely a fair one!), but I do still stand by my opinion that S2 was overall well-written and had good character development. There certainly were some plotlines that were rushed, but I think it would be hard to avoid that when you have just 12 episodes to fit everything into.

Like yes, Marco's death was surprisingly sudden, but tbh I really doubt there was much more of an interesting story to be told with him alive- probably just more of the same of him being a shouty asshole lol- and I felt that his death created an engaging new plotline for the season with Thony now needing to cover it up and protect Chris. (Ngl I was personally very happy to see Marco gotten rid of, especially because Thony couldn't legally divorce him, so as long as he was alive he'd always be a problem for her plan to stay in Vegas with Fi and the kids, and therefore for the show's entire premise). Kamdar was certainly an odd and eccentric character, and there were moments I did want to roll my eyes at the way his dialogue or mannerisms were written, but I did appreciate that they made him feel like a very different villain from Hayak. To me, Kamdar's presence narratively made sense, as the season needed a villain that would create new challenges for the characters- and yes, the writers did keep raising the stakes, but that's kind of the point of a second installment of anything, I think. For example, look at The Hunger Games: the first book is Katniss fighting for her own life in the arena. The second book adds the threat against her loved ones from President Snow, so now she's fighting to save her life AND the lives of everyone she loves. Then in book 3 she becomes the symbol of the rebellion so she's fighting for herself, her loved ones, and the lives of all the citizens of her nation. The stakes always have to get higher to keep people interested, and TCL did that in S2 by making Thony (and Arman) contend with Kamdar, the FBI, and Sin Cara, plus the ever-present Luca situation.

(Yes, I will admit I am getting a bit tired of Luca's illness as a plot device, but I'm also in the medical field so I'm very aware of the fact that as a transplant recipient, this kid will literally never not be dependent on constant medical care to survive. Which means that Luca repeatedly getting sick or needing complex treatments isn't lazy or repetitive writing, it's accurate writing, as is the way Thony reacts as the mother of a seriously ill child. Luca has been her entire world for over 6 years so of course practically everything she does and thinks about will revolve around him).

Speaking of which, I feel like the whole point of this season was to show that Thony, while the hero of this story, isn't actually a superhero; she's just human, just a woman in a shitty situation who is doing her best while in a constant state of fear and exhaustion. And so, like any human- especially one under extreme duress- she can have the best of intentions but still make mistakes and bad decisions. In her case, these usually arise from her trying to do everything alone, or her not being willing to give up control and trust in others where Luca's safety is concerned, which is is extremely accurate to her character's history and personality. Which means she's not trying to betray Arman or anyone else, she's just so caught up in her own terror that she sometimes makes bad calls. (For example, she never chose protecting Kamdar over Arman; she chose the course of action that she believed had the highest chance of keeping Luca alive, and then took measures to protect Arman as well, knowing he was at risk. You might notice that when Luca isn't involved, she is willing to give up complete control and just trust Arman's judgement even when it goes against her instincts or morals, like with the plan in 1x10 or selling the drugs in 2x05, but when Luca's safety comes into the equation she simply can't break free of the tunnel vision that comes from her Mama Bear mode, and hand over control to someone else.)

But honestly, good luck finding a character in this show that doesn't make bad calls or unintentionally screw others over; they literally all do, but we're just so much more aware of Thony's mistakes because she's who our focus is on. Her decisions, and the consequences of those decisions, are literally the plot of the show. In S1 she generally got lucky and things mostly worked out for her, and plus the writers' goal was to make us love her and become invested in her so that we'd continue to watch, so her mistakes were kept to a minimum (1x09 stands out as one where she really messed up through her own impatience and stubbornness and refusal to listen, and I think it was deliberate that the writers waited til almost the end of the season to really show that part of her). In S2 her luck definitely ran out and she started truly facing the consequences, and it's important to recognise that some of those were the consequences from her actions in S1 which she had simply managed to outrun thus far, but which finally caught up with her. If you'll excuse my language, this season was the 'find out' part of 'fuck around and find out' lol. Thony has made a string of decisions since 1x01, and as a result she or the people she cares about often ended up in even more danger than the situation she was trying to escape from, leading her to then take steps to escape that situation, often to only end up in even worse trouble again. (eg, she tries to sneak back into the US in 1x09 and gets caught and arrested; so then she has to get Arman to help her take down Hayak with the FBI, landing Arman in jail; then Arman has to go into debt to get out of jail before he's murdered; they start selling the drugs to get Arman out of debt to Kamdar before Kamdar destroys him; they get caught by the FBI and forced to set up a sting to take down Cortes and Kamdar; Sin Cara discovers their drug smuggling and nearly kills them; Kamdar nearly kills Thony and does kill Garrett; Arman ends up dead and Thony ends up with a price on her head from Sin Cara, etc etc etc). Basically, what I'm saying is that all through S2 Thony is continually trying to save herself and her loved ones (just like she did in S1) but this time shit just keeps going wrong, because that's what happens when you take risks and mess with dangerous people. And aside from Marco's death, pretty much all the worst stuff happened right near the end of S2, so I expect that much of season 3 is going to be about the impact of those events on her and how she finds her way back from there.

As for Armony; I get it. Having so many barriers between them sucked, but given that literally all of the stressful, terrible events of S2 happened over a period of less than 50 days, her not having the time to focus on her love life seemed pretty realistic to me, especially when the man she was in love with was dealing with significant problems of his own, and had also been unwillingly re-chained to his wife (who I agree deserves better, and should have left him sooner!!) by circumstances outside of his control. Their reunion in 2x03 was disappointing in some ways, yes, but I mean... well, firstly, her husband's funeral had been only days before, and secondly, they met in Nadia's workplace, in front of all her staff... of course they're not going to act like anything more than coworkers in that situation? Thony and Arman have literally never interacted in a visibly intimate way in the club when anyone else was present. I think their reunion might have looked different if it had happened somewhere else, but even then... where would that have been? Even at her house it would have been super inappropriate to show any kind of intimacy given Marco's death, and with his family being right there. If I had my way, Armony would have met somewhere else more private like the clinic, and they would have had a looong hug for sure lol- though nothing more than that, because again, the circumstances were too complicated. But regardless, don't forget that only 3 days after their very reserved reunion, Arman literally dropped everything (despite the threat of Kamdar) to go help Thony, including killing a man for her. 2x04 was an incredible Armony ep and I will defend it to my grave lol. Imo S2 really did give us some great Armony content and really strengthened the bond between them, but with everything going on, it was not exactly the ideal conditions for the two of them to be making out or to fall into bed together. (If you want to cry, think of it this way: they thought they had time. They thought that there would be an after, a calm place where they could reunite once they were free of the threats they faced. They didn't know they would never get that.) But ugh. Anyway. I'll admit that I'm sad they never got to be together physically and have that special moment that they deserved, but we still got so many other amazing scenes that truly showed the depth of their love and devotion for each other, and to me that was far more important. You mentioned 2x08 where Thony suggested the reconciliation- the suggestion did make sense because if Arman got close to Nadia again, he could get access to the keycard; and yeah, of course there were absolutely other ways this could have been achieved, but the writers were clearly going for the angstiest option lol, and the one that would create the most interesting drama and character conflict. And I don't think Thony was specifically telling him to go sleep with her, but it was fairly mutually understood that that would probably happen as part of him and Nadia getting back together. As for Arman's "I don't know" lol, I didn't see that as him being genuinely unsure; to me, it was meant to be understood by the viewers that he was straight-up lying. He knew he loved Thony, but he also knew that telling Nadia he loved Thony would get him kicked out of the house without the keycard, and so he said what he needed to say and did what he needed to do. I fully respect your right to interpret Arman however you want but personally I will forever stand by the opinion that he fell in love with Thony in S1 and he 100% knew it by the time 1x10 happened.

Anyway oops this is getting huge again, so just a few other quick things: I don't think Jazz actually knows the truth about Chris and Marco? I don't think anyone has told her. And yes Garrett 'cleaned up' the Marco situation in 2x07 by giving Thony (who the cops think killed Marco) FBI protection. In canon time, that only happens 2 weeks before the end of the season, and Garrett dies within a week of that. So it is possible that the cops might come after Thony again for Marco's murder in S3 now that Garrett is gone, but it also might be a plotline that is considered finished by the writers because the cops can't interfere with FBI business and so Thony is considered immune in the case of Marco's death. Who knows. Tbh I more wonder about how in 1x09 Homeland Security told her they were going to deport her after she faced trial, and then they just completely disappeared, presumably because she assisted the FBI with taking down Hayak? Her connection with Garrett was a literal get-out-of-jail-free card on multiple occasions so it's going to be so interesting to see her navigate S3 without him and his protection (and especially now that she's without Arman as well).

I guess that that's where the new guys come in though (ugh), and yeah you're right that both Jorge and this other new guy do sound like they will be interested in Thony romantically. I hated that they described the 2nd guy as having an 'instant connection' with her ugh. But honestly maybe the fact that Thony has recently lost everyone she relies on means that she finds herself more vulnerable to actually trusting someone new because she is just so desperate not to be so totally alone, and that's where her friendship(?) with this 2nd guy comes in. It's funny bc I think I already hate him more than I hate Jorge probably because Jorge is at least upfront about being a bad guy whereas it sounds like this other one tricks her. But anyway hopefully Thony doesn't take long to realise that she doesn't need these guys because she does actually still have someone she can turn to: Nadia. Through the series they have had elements of being rivals or adversaries, but they have also been kind to each other and helped each other in the past, and so like I said, in the future I really hope they will become reluctant allies bonded by the loss of Arman and everything they've gone through. In my mind, Thony will make every effort to protect Nadia like she's her own family now that Arman is gone, because she knows it's what he would have wanted... but that might just be wishful thinking.

Anyway I'm not entirely sure if I answered everything but I figure I've already said more than enough words so I'm going to stop there haha 😅

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!

Well, I'm glad I've reached a point where I can watch this and actually feel eager to have the show back, and interested about what's going to happen next... but I don't know, some of the latest info about all these new characters etc is making me feel weird all over again.

Literally from the moment I started watching this show in S1, I just always assumed it would be, at most, a 3 season show-- and then after losing Adan, I was so sure that they meant to complete the story with this season and let it end there. I want it to end there. I want the resolution of Arman's arc and the culmination of Thony's to stop at the same place, because if the show continues on (like some of Miranda Kwok's recent comments make it feel like is their plan) then it will mean that Arman is left behind. That he was only a temporary part of the story, and not laced throughout it from start to finish-- because even despite his death this season, I feel sure that he is still going to very much be a part of its story, as central to the events of the season and as vital to Thony's arc as Fiona is. But if they're going for a season 4 or even beyond, the plot will move on without him, and I just don't know if I could face that, not when he (and his connection with Thony) was the very thing that drew me to the show in the first place.

Anyway, if you have thoughts, I'd like to hear them; honestly I'd like any chance to talk about this show, to speculate like we used to, because I think it's the only thing that's going to make this coming season any easier to bear.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

pretty please write a fic about squirmy, modern day Dolores— coming home from work and edged by Mariano? (Or an early, experimental girlfriend before him?) thank you!

I ABSOLUTELY wanna do some more modern au stuff? Lets do it!

"I'm home!"

Dolores shut the door behind her as soon as she entered. She was expecting to hear the sound of Isa in the kitchen, but she heard...grunting instead. And music, slightly muffled by earbuds. Super hearing gives you a lot of information in just a second, honestly. Sure enough, she found him in her room, doing pull ups thanks to the pull up bar he put right on her doorframe. She took a minute to just check him out, because why not? Her apartment, her boyfriend, she could look at him if she wanted.

She was dating THE Mariano. Aka, upcoming film star, model, and as of recently, and upcoming author. He was as sweet as he was absolutely built. Muscles for arms, muscles on his back that flexed as he pulled, and his ass looked GREAT in those sweatpants she got him. She heard the music die down (he was listening to Dolly Parton, and honestly she couldn't fault him for it), and he finally let go of the bar, landing on his feet. He started to wear thick socks to cushion the sound of his heavy gait, and it was honestly very sweet. She waited till he took his earbuds out, and she clicked her tongue at him.

"Been doing this all day?"

"Hey! You're home! How was the studio?"

Ugh, the way he pushed away his sweaty hair back in order to get a good look at him. He was too pretty for his own good.

"Eh, not too bad. The editing should be done soon, so we won't miss the release date. I'm tired though, I didn't even take my lunch break."

He frowned, putting his hand on the small of her back, and she totally wasn't checking out his abs.

"Well I made you dinner! We can heat it up, and I can help you relax a bit."

"You...made dinner?"

"Uh huh! And I did the dishes, swept, mopped, and watered Isabela's plants!"

"Wow. Where is she anyway?"

Mariano guided her to the couch, tossing her the comfy set of pajamas that she told herself she would clean when she got back. Turns out he did laundry too. He spoke to her as he dived into her tiny ass kitchen.

"She said she had another hand modeling job to do, then she had a swimsuit photoshoot. I made her a portion too, don't worry."

"What'd you make?"

She looked at him as she took off her bra, letting herself relax as her more comfortable shirt and pants covered her. He held up the tray for her to see, clearly proud of it.

"Meatloaf! I made mashed potatoes and greenbeans to go with it too. Sorry I didn't make dessert, I just got lazy and bought ice cream. I got it from the place you like though!"

She put her hand over her heart, swooning over this sweet as hell man.

"That's very...sweet of you. I didn't know you could cook."

"I can really only make this. And sandwiches. My grandma taught me. People are always surprised-do I look like I can't cook?"

"Baby, you didn't know how to open the creamer for your coffee yesterday."

He gestured to the rack of creamers, as if it offended him.

"You have tiny creamers! It's a lot for my big hands! Only reason I haven't chucked it is because it's not worth my time."

"And because you'd feel bad."

"I absolutely would, actually."

He nodded in agreement as he set the food in the oven, and set the timer on her microwave. Meanwhile, she plopped on the couch, and turned on some netflix, scrolling through the endless bunches of new crap. It was his account though, so she was gonna use it.

"When is it gonna be done, anyway?"

"Maybe thirty minutes. Would've been quicker if I left it out, but I forgot. Oh, and I bought you some groceries too, it looked a bit empty."

"Isa had half a yogurt in there, she's gonna lose her mind."

She chuckled, scooting over and patting the couch so he'd sit next to her. He did just that, wrapping an arm around her comfortably.

"You know what I never understood?"

"Hmm?"

"What animal is the pink panther?"

"What?"

"The pink panther, what the hell is he? I know he's not a tiger. Is he a lion?"

She couldn't help but gawk at him. God he was serious. And he was hot.

"Mariano?"

"Hmm?"

"Kiss me please."

He looked surprised, as if it was out of nowhere, but of course he did as she said. He cupped her face in his hand, and kissed her. Again, and again, to the point where they somehow ended up with him on top of her laying form. He pulled away for a moment, looking down at her through panting lips that quickly formed into an embarrassed chuckle.

"Sorry I uh. Smudged your lipstick."

"Mmph...it's no problem. At all. This red looks good on you."

She held onto his face, lightly rubbing his bottom lip with her finger. He looked good in red, especially on his blushing cheeks.

"Are we...doing what I think we're doing?"

"Depends. Do you want to?"

"Very much so, yes."

"Then yes, we are. What do you want to-"

He didn’t let her finish as he buried his face in the crook of her neck, decorating it in kisses. The scruff from his facial hair tickled her neck just right, and his hand drifting down her stomach was just heavenly.

"Dolores, you've had such a long day. I can see it on your pretty face. Let me take care of you, please."

She wanted to take care of him, but she just seemed to notice how exhausted she was, body feeling heavy at the thought of her doing too much work. She played with his hair, just how he liked it, before sighing in defeat.

"Okay, okay. You can take care of me."

He slipped his fingers past her pants, till he was rubbing her through her underwear, slowly and in little circles. He still kissed at her fair skin, occasionally whispering against it.

"I WAS going to eat you out, because I know you like that, but I want to talk to you. I like talking to my girlfriend. She's so pretty, and sweet, and funny, and talented."

She, with little force, tried not so very hard to push his face away with a chuckle. She didn't even have to try to be sexy for this man to want her, and it made her feel so...special.

"You're too much, you know that?"

"If anything, I'm not enough. I love everything about you. How soft you are, how nice your voice is...how your pussy is already getting wet."

He was really rubbing into her now, palm firm yet slow. She gripped tightly onto his hair, head falling back a bit as his teeth grazed her neck.

"Oh, y-you wanna be dirty now?"

"I wanna be good to you. I wanna be the best boyfriend, I wanna ruin your panties. You make a man very greedy, Dolores."

He was being such a tease, fingers dipping inside of her, yet separated by the fabric of her underwear. He was doing it on purpose, so he could watch her squirm, hear her swear under her breath everytime it felt like he'd actually be inside.

"Dios it sounds so LOUD when you do that..."

"What? When I play with your pussy like this? It's because you're wet, mi vida. You're so wet, you want me inside of you, anyway you can have me. I could do so much to you,"

She jumped a bit as he touched her clit, just for a second, forcing her nails to dig into his shirt and his scalp. She thought she hurt him, but if anything, she motivated his movements to go faster.

"I could pull your pants down, absolutely rail you into this couch. I could eat you out till I'm lost in your pussy. I could even make you hump the couch while I watch. But you know what I'm going to do?"

Her head was absolutely spinning at this sudden bout of dirty talk. Mariano never said such dirty things to her before, and she absolutely loved it. Man was a whole snack, so much sweetness, with just a PINCH of savory to keep her coming back.

"W-what are you going to do?"

His tongue dragged up her neck, slowly, till it reached her lips, shoving itself into her mouth as they shared a kiss.

"I'm going to finger that pretty pussy, and listen to every sound you make."

He wasn't kidding. His fingers finally slipped past her underwear, and pushed inside of her. The two fingers weren't gentle, fucking her in a frenzy, just how she enjoyed it. It was so loud, so wet sounding, only made worse when his big frame kept her from squirming too much.

"M-Mariano please, I can't-!"

Dolores was never able to hold it for long. It was something she tried to fix, but it was SO easy to make the poor girl cum. She was so close here, she could feel her toes curling. So close, so damn close-

"Ah ah ah. Not yet, mi cielo. That's too fast. I want to enjoy you. I want to cherish you."

She wined, the slight kiss to her ear being too much for her.

"Not fair! I thought you wanted to take care of your poor girlfriend..."

"You're just grumpy because you like this. You like it when I kiss your ear like this, don't you?"

She 'tried' to push away his face upon his lips reaching her ear. They were so sensitive, and he knew damn well what it did to her.

"Since when did you get so smug?"

"Since you reminded me how much I adore my girlfriend ~...let me give you more kisses."

He was building her back up again with those stupid fingers, ever so slowly increasing in speed, but only slightly. Meanwhile he started to nibble on her ear, giving it just the slightest pull with his perfect white teeth.

"Okay, y-you've had your fun, proved your point and all of that, you're pushing it."

"Someone is getting so snippy~...I can't tell if I like it. Oh wait, I think I do."

His palm pressed against her clit nice and firmly, making her squirm and writhe like an absolute bitch.

"I'm g-gonna kill you, this isn't fair-"

"What's not fair is how pretty you are. How you've been there almost twice, how you've been making all these sounds for me and...well, making me fall more and more in love with you. I don't know if I CAN let you cum, just because it means this would be over."

He was playing dirty, being so sweet, kissing just that perfect spot with his fingers and suckling on her ear enough to give her the tingles. So she knew she had to pull out the big guns. She pressed his nose against his, and mustered the sweetest voice she could.

"Pwetty pwetty pwease? For your little buho?"

His eyes softened like butter, and she knew she had him.

"I can't say no when you do that. Alright, give it to me, beautiful."

He was picking it up again, tugging on her ear just right, knuckles deep inside her, so fast and so perfect. She felt it in her stomach, felt her voice reduced to absolute whimpers, before he finally, FINALLY let her have it. Just the orgasm she needed after a full day of work. He fingered her through it, like a proper boyfriend should, only stopping when she got nice and limp underneath him. She let go of him, arms falling limp to the couches sides.

"Oh...thank you. So much."

"Oh my god- can you heteros NOT?"

Dolores jumped upon hearing the sound of Isa's voice. She stood there, holding her heels, looking at them in absolute disgust. Mariano was about to apologize when the oven dinged, and he sprang out of the couch in a second.

"MEATLOAF IS READY!"

Isa looked at Dolores, who was still in a state of post nut, and shock, brow raised.

"Wow. Malewifed him up already, huh?"

"Hey, he's more than that, I'll have you k-"

Mariano called out from the kitchen as he opened the oven.

"Hey Isa, settle a bet for us! What animal is the pink panther?!"

Isa looked down at her, hand on her hips.

"Ah right. He's also a himbo."

"He's. Joking."

"No he isn't, watch. He's a walrus, Mariano!"

"I KNEW IT!"

Dolores glared at the smug looking Isa, absolutely hating when she was right. At least he was HER himbo.

[riverisnotsafe]

Pretty Girl. (Yet to be completed)

PAIRINGS: Chubby!F!Reader x JJK Characters

Gojo | Toji | More to come

WARNINGS: SMUT. NSFW/MINORS DNI! Pet names, a handful of kinks (overstim, daddy, breeding etc..) but for different characters. They might be OOC, I guess it’s how I depict them in my head.

A/N: A comment ON AO3 wanted Toji and I was in the mood for this dilf so I decided to grant their wishes. He might be OOC because I write them based on how I depict them in my head so sorry if you have a different depiction. This one is more plot heavy than pure smut unlike Gojo's btw. I kinda like it honestly. A soft dom Toji. I wasn't sure to use 'daddy' so I didn't because I have that planned for someone else and I'm not the biggest fan of the daddy kink but pet names for the reader are still my fav hehe. Not edited and lowkey lazy.

Toji Fushiguro

The sound of skin against skin. The stench of sex around the room. Bodies drenched in sweat. The sound of your moans were music to Toji’s ears. Nothing makes him feel better than to fuck his pretty kitten senseless. Your walls squeeze around his dick and he picks up his pace. “You about to cum sweetheart?” he whispers to you. You could only nod. “Hm? Don’t hear ya answer kitten. Are ya gonna cum?” He slowed down. He’s such an asshole.

You inch downward in hopes for him to go deeper but he pins you down. “Nope. Answer.” “Y-yes! I’m gonna cum. Please let me cum Toji. Thrust back inside!” you whined. “That’s my girl.” He rams back into you picking up the pace. “Cum for me beautiful” he coos. “A-ahn, T-toji~” you shudder as orgasmic waves overcome you. “Ah shit. You look hot as fuck.” he releases inside you. He stopped to take a breath without pulling out.

“More?” he reaches for neck. You stay silent. Toji squeezes around your neck. A good choke did arouse you but something to else was playing on your mind. “Kitten, I asked. You’re really testing my patience tonight.” he growls. “N-no, no more..” you squeaked “That’s my g- what? Did my kitten just say no more? You were needy for my cock just a moment ago. Are you fucking with me right now?” Well both of you were quite literally ‘fucking’. “I-I just don’t feel up to it, Toji.” you frowned, you avoided his gaze.

It took him a bit to get that your mind had wandered. “You thinking bout someone else? Is that why? I know we have a pretty open relationship but that’s such a turn of-“ “No, I um, you know I don’t fuck anyone else. Who would want someone like me Toji...” you were on the verge of tears. “Then? What do you mean kitten?” “Y-you called me beautiful... no one does. Who’d call some bitch who wears plus sizes beautiful hahah, probably just sex talk right” tears fall from your eyes.

Toji has never seen you cry. He rarely came to see you and when he usually does, it’s only sex. Your ‘open relationship’ isn’t THAT open. Toji actually doesn’t sleep with anyone else despite his long long history of unnamed women he's railed. After meeting you, he got really hung up, he thought you were some kind of miracle the so-called heavens had given him. He couldn’t fuck anyone else. All he thought about was you. When he slides into them, he'd close his eyes and imagine your cute face instead. Their moans? he'd imagine them coming from you. When he came, he was hoping it would be you. Sometimes he even cum outside because the girls had become such a turn off especially when all he had in his head was you. He isn't allowed to contact past clients but you were just a clients acquaintance so he was like fuck it, and asked for your number from an informer. So seeing you cry, did make him feel discomforted and uneasy since it was hard for the killing machine to empathize.

“Kitten. What the fuck are you on about?” If he learnt math it would probably be easier than deciphering whatever the hell you’re crying about. “Y-you called me beautiful...” “And? You fucking are???” This man was genuinely confused. “You want other compliments hm? Beautiful too low for you?” “No..Toji. I’m big. I have too much meat. I don’t think beautiful is a word you could describe me with. You probably only stayed with me because I’m easy hahah. Who’d actually want someone like me as a partner. All this sex...only you would fuck me. Other guys just side eye me because I could never reach a model's standards. All my clothes are big and baggy too...I’m ugly.”

Toji’s brain had a switch that flipped when he hears all your negative self-talk. He finally gets it. “Sweetheart. Ah shit. I’m not good with this crap. I’d murder anyone who doesn’t think my girl is sexy but I can’t do it because the one talking shit about my girl is my girl.” He switched positions so you’re on top of him. His broad chest as a pillow to your tears. He pets your head. “Honestly, do you think I’m fucking attractive? I got a scar on my face and I look like I don’t shower. I work 9-5 in blood baths and probably reek.” “You are! You’re really good looking! And your physique is amazing, no one could compare” you think very highly of your lover.

“Guess my body is the only appealing thing to ladies I’ve fucked in the past. Easy huh? They were easy. You? You easily made a brute like me talk about shit like this. It’s different. You're different.” His fingers comb through your hair then slide down your back, and earning a shudder from the sensation. And his hand lands on your ass. He squeezes it, a gasp comes out of you. “Your body huh. Big? What’s up with being big? This fucking meaty ass. Ah shit I’m getting hard just squeezing it. No one else has a good ass like this. No one has tits like these. Kitten, if you wanna wear some tight ass clothes, go for it. Baggy clothes? You could wear some of my shirts, I’d fuck you even harder in them.”

He sits up and props you into his lap. Your entrance rubbing against his hard dick. “Fuck people. All they do is torment those different from them...” his voice trails off, a distant memory rings in his mind. “If I say you’re fucking beautiful sweetheart, you’d better believe it, I’ll need to fuck some sense into you to make you believe that?” He sneakily slides himself back into you. “T-toji! Not so sudden..” your tears had dried and he seemed content seeing you.

“Other guys? Ah, fuck them. I’m the one making you scream and cum all the time, why care about them? I’ll just slash their heads off if that’s what it takes. Now...do you want more?” He nibbles on your ear, his dick twitching in you, excited for an answer. “Toji...” your hand guides his face close to yours and you kiss him. Toji being Toji makes it into a heated make out session. “Kitten, you’re beautiful.” He pushes you down. He slowly thrusts in and out. You could feel his veiny cock sliding. There’s something unusually arousing for such a rough man to be slow and steady.

Beautiful for him. That’s all that mattered. He was beautiful for you. He picked up his pace, making you a moaning mess. “T-toji cum in me! I want to be yours forever.” Ah that hit the mark. The monster of a man shot his load deep in you. He could go all night and he will be going all night for his kitten. “Thank you...Toji” you close your eyes to rest for a few minutes. Toji stared down on you, you were gorgeous. He should be thanking you for accepting a man like him.