#honestly pretty happy with how much ive been able to draw

[negativespace06]

BIG sketchbook dump from the past two weeks. over half of it is just team dark because i went a little bit crazy

[mondaymelon]

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! gifts ensue.

he really went. blep. hi user @ilyuu. im proud of this one so congrats wanderer takes home first gift wooo

lmao id like to apologise in advance as this was brought on because of me but I got super burnt out drawing like 20 of these over the course of 2 days... if you see the quality of the drawings declining ( which you will ) please don't mind it!! thank you.

@anonbinaryweirdo. sigh. i get whiplash whenever you're super nice and then in the span of the next three seconds immediately do something vile

@soleillunne. we don't talk much but from what I know you are such a sweet person omg !! and your works??? dies inside (in a good way). the way you write xiao maks me so. puddle like

@realkavehgf. we agree on one things (amongst others) and that is that kaveh is. kAVEH IS. MALFUNCTIONS PERISHES.

@emphasisondrvgs. you scare me. please take your ranpo and quietly see yourself out LMAO /j

@pjsk-writin. AMIMI ONE OF MY FIRST EVER MOOTS !!! im so proud of mikoto. sighs. straitjackets are smth else to draw .. BUT HES SO. MMMMMM !!!!

@circyexistforcontent AAAHHH HI PRECIOUS. I LIKE YOU BUT I DONT REALLY LIKE DILUC SO. TAKE THIS... quietly throws up

@whats-it-mean. puka puka. head empty. puka puka. please stop your affairs with my mother.

@falors. UGLY SOBS. UGLY CRIES. I LOVE YOU /P SM. WAAHHHH TEARS TEARS TEARS you are the most talented person ever I S T G gRAAAHHH YOU BETTER GET 18412409128410948 FOLLOWERS THIS YEAR OR I WILL RIOT. mwah.

@dustofthedailylife. omg. hi dust... tbh ive been so concerned for you recently with how much life is running you over with a pickup truck so wishing for your improved health soon !! alhaith is a smort guy what can I say

@the-white-void. DEAREST. literally one of the first people I ever interacted with on this platform and you're actually. like. literally one of the sweetest people I have ever met. KLEE IS SUCH A CUTIE FJSFJDK

@kaeffeinee. OMG. m..my kitten- woah WHO just said that. wild shit right there. have something you don't like?? have something that's been pestering you for far too long?? no worries. its the official nag seal of mendokusai !!!!

@lillonvia. sobs. I didn't do the man justice.loud sobs. DFSDDSF YOUR ART MAKES ME WANT TO LIKE DISENTAGRAT INTO GLOWING BALLS oF FUZZ AND FLOAT INTO THE HEAVENS I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT. WE ARE SO DELULU oVER XIAO. FOAMS AT THE MOUTH

@absolutelyobsessedkiya. HELP WHY IS MINORI SO BRIGHT.... she's literally shining what. we need to talk more pspsspsp I just now found out that you're a fan of milgram!! remember like last year I was all 'whose that pretty pink person on their pfp??' AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW THATS ITS MUU RAHHHH

@auroratumbles. meow. cat. what a sweetie. I don't even know what my art style is doing here anymore Istg what even. what even BYE LETS TALK ABOUT XIAO LATER !!

@papiliotao. mwah. a kith for you. mWAH. ANOTHER KITH. SJFKSDJFLS GRAHHH YOU ARE THE SW E. E T E ST AND YOUR THE SWEETEST AND YOUR CAT IS THE SWEETEST AND YOUR VOICE IS MAKING ME WANT TO ELEVATE INTO THE CLOUDS AND YOURE SO SILLY EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT LIKE AKITIO SHINONOME

@yinyinggie. hihihi ying !! it honestly amazes me how you're able to juggle so many events and servers at once. im actually in awe. always look at xiao he's so emo and short

@solxima. GRAHHH HI. I DONT LIKE HOW JINGYUAN LOOKS IN THIS BUT. DLJFLSDJ DIES> I CANT DO THIS AN Y M O RE. your honor. hes so cat coded hes so cat coded he's so PERISHS

@yelshin. WAIIIIT NO YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF> iM SORRY. I don't know why he looks... so r e g a l in this but its definitely giving off oRAtRice MecAnIquE DAnAlySe CARdiNAle .

@vennnnn-diagram. LOUD SCREAMING N O . YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF TOOOODJSKFLSD JGAIJFAD JKLJFD:LFS. anyways. I need to see nahida smiling more she deserves everything and then some. aranaras are so silly giggles

@lume-nosity. I hold the slightest bit of guilt for putting your angsty ish drawing right next to happy lil nahida buT AHAHAH IT MAKES IT HURT MORE IG. took some inspo from your blog title... mwah ily lume. I WAS SO SCARED TO TALK TO YOU AT FIRST WHEN I SENT YOU THAT MOOT ASK BUT I AM EVER SO HAPPY THAT I DID !!!

th end. im actually so dead lmao my fingers actually were starting to bleed afklsdjfaskdjfklsdjflkasdjflksjflkjowejtoij enjoy your Christmas gifts mooties !! if anyone asks why I haven't been posting fics as promised. this is why. ill be in a coffin for a while please let my soul rest

OH AND FORGOT TO MENTION I DREW THESE BASD ON THE MOOTIES THAT COMMNTED ON MY THINGY LIKE LAST WEEK WHICH ASKED WHICH CHARACTER THY WANTD I LOVE YOU ALL PSPS I PROMIS

[confessions-official]

i feel awful. i have this best friend ive known for 3 years. to set the story up, he originally started talking to me bc he wanted to get with me but i immediatwly shut him down and told him im aroace (specifically because i only feel romantic attraction to fictional characters) and he was like "okay" so we were able to keep talking and we eventually became friends. for all these years, hes still had a crush on me but has usually been able to push it to the side to not get in the way of our friendship. recently, he told me about that and he asked "wanna see if things work out maybe?" and usually i wouldve said no but i hadnt been in a relationship for like 2-3 years and since i trusted him, i wouldnt mind trying again so i told him that id like to try but not to expect much and he was over the moon. i think i heard his heels clack from the other side of the globe 😭 anyways, during this relationship, he began making things for me. he made 60 reasons why he loves me, 2 letters, 4 drawings, and a silly presentation as to why he loves me. all within the span of 5 days. i was quite suprised and overwhelmed, i mean, what do i even say to that. since i selfship with fictional characters, im not usually used to getting things out of relationships per se. the worst part was, i wasnt really feeling anything with him even if i tried. not to mention how he began getting more clingy and begging for my attention. i was already pretty used to his clinginess, he has a horrible family while living in the middle east, the least i can do is be there for him, but it got a whole lot worse. he started panicking whenever i was gone even when i told him i was busy that day, he told me "never leave a person with bpd alone" and i was like "im trying not to but ive just been so busy these last few days" and even after all his nagging, i still cant be mad at him, hes a dear friend of mine, how could i? even after talking about how we were gonna get married and that he was very reliant on me for motivation and happiness. but yesterday he told me he started getting worried about this being one-sided and so i confessed that he was right, it was one-sided and his devotion to me wasnt something he was ever gonna get back. however, i would marry him for tax benefits and immigration papers, i still love him dearly as a friend, and i didnt want to hurt him further by lying to him about how i felt. he told me his world immediately crumbled. and he started telling me about how his nightmares get worse everyday, his disconnection with reality gets worse, and other stuff and i started feeling a bit weird. why was he being like this?? he has never been like this in my 3 years of knowing him. but then he also told me hes not getting married to someone who only loves him platonically and how he really saw a future where he could leave his country, and he finally had a will to live for the first time in years (even though i had told him that i was only dating him to see if i had any romantic feelings left in me and that he shouldnt expect much) and then it finally clicked. hes been so delusionally attatched to me and obsessed with me and i didnt even fucking know it. i mean of course, i still want to be friends with him but what the actual fuck. it feels weird. for the first time in 3 years, im a little bit disgusted with him. i dont know why it took me until after i broke up with him. im honestly unsure if i want to keep being friends with him. it scares me a little. im sorry for ranting, i just needed to get this off my chest.

 

[naumin]

2024 retrospective and 2025 goals

this is the censored version of this post. for full images, check out the full free post on subscribestar!

hi :)

i'm really happy with everything i achieved in 2024. it was my first year illustrating full time, meaning no school and no salaried job on the side (believe me i tried to get one) and i'm happy to report i did not die! fuck yes. i even illustrated for 7 (i think) art books, designed merch for 2 and organised my first collab fanbook.

from top left clockwise: michael deforge, anna haifisch, Michel Esselbrügge, CLAMP, saul bass, jon whitcomb, rene gruau, paul rand, molly fairhurst

at the beginning of 2024 i made this moodboard for influences i wanted to incorporate into my work more, they are pretty much the same faves ive had for years but i just wanted to have them in front of me and start deliberately choosing elements to ape.

i'd say i basically want to incorporate more 2D cartoon graphic elements combined with detailed, realistic, delicately rendered characters, more theatric background design and props... features like borders etc. the thing about a moodboard is unless you print it out and put it up by your desk it will sort of slide to the back of your mind which is what i think happened w mine LOL. cuz looking at this now im like well i didnt really hit all these ideas but i did inch closer.

the first pic here is sth i drew immediately after making the board and i like it but it does feel like a slightly clumsy attempt at mashing stuff together... i wouldn't say that it shows i dont understand whats appealing about the work i was referencing (even though thats how it looks), its more like the picture goes in an unexpected direction while making it LOL. but that's part of the fun. whereas in my mind the 2nd pic spiritually embodies the ideas of the ppl i'm trying to copy. even tho visually it's still a ways off. its probably my favourite thing i drew all year? :) though that's hard to say bcus i'm so pleased w so many other pieces especially those u can see on my summary pic!!!

i have a few more artists i wanna add to my board and then i will definitely print it this time so i can look at it every day instead of just twice a year LOL.

another thing im really pleased about is the number of comics i drew in 2024. i have this odd relationship with comics where i do draw them and have for years and im more or less decent at them but i act like drawing them mortally wounds me. like im so dramatic... i do partially believe the only way ill ever be able to complete a longform comic is through abusing stimulants but you know ill also never find out if i keep crawling off to die after inking a page. i see a lot of illustrators suffering when approaching comics from the illustration mindset of making beautiful pictures instead of the comics mindset of making finished pictures, but u know, im extremely slapdash as an illustrator and im also proud enough to believe im a guy that can do both, so its really time i act like it... basically just shut up and draw. i want to apply this especially to perspective drawing/panel backgrounds, which im, like, fine at. honestly fine at. i do think i trip myself up because i want to be the next dostoevsky or beyonce or whatever, i want to be great, but have to remember the most anyone can do is aspire to express something from your inner world. everything else is secondary.

one thing i learned the hard way is how hard it is to have work life balance when you work from your bedroom and 'monestise your hobby'... you know, the thing everyone has been warning each other about for years. turns out its real. its super confusing when so many elements of your work bleed into your social life, physical health, leisure time etc -- like i go online for fun, and also to promote myself. so wheres the distinction? i watch movies for entertainment but also for research... ive definitely felt like ive been working around the clock or my job has consumed my life at points. but i think being stricter with my work hours is the way forward. it truly is shaytan at the wheel when u answer an email at 3AM... no more of this!

and tied into this is being realistic about what i can achieve in a day and not feeling ashamed or that i need to do more... i get stuck in this silly loop that's like... 'i believe everyone should work 4 hours a day, but because other people are stuck working 40 hours a week i should also be making myself do that' and then i work myself into a flare up and wreck my work ethic and enjoyment. u can laugh... i know it doesnt make sense. well i wont do it any more. because i CANT... because i will DIE... some days i work 4 hours. some days i work 6. some days i work half an hour... it doesnt matter as long as stuff gets done.. and it does.

also want to talk about my chronic pain and hypermobility... after a year of lifting weights i am stunned to let u know ive actually improved. unfortunately i dont look anything like the rock and i still cant do a real push up but im stronger and have more stamina and suffer from way less zaps and aches and numbness, which was unthinkable before. i only really noticed after taking a trip and doing different activities (painting walls) that i can physically do a lot more than i usually do at home. but also my house is fucking cold so its hard to do anything for anyone. hoping for warmer days and big muscles to come.

some of my other art goals are to work more on paper whenever i can. i used to have a huge stack of newsprint on my drawing board underneath my ipad and id doodle and test ideas on that paper before drawing it digitally. i wanna do that again. many people find its easier to 'think' on paper and im the same. whenever i have an idea i wanna go 'what would this look like on paper?' and then find out.

i want to be thinking about composition and storytelling more in my illustrations, as in, think cinematic, movie posters, communicating big ideas. even if that idea is only as big as 'this blue looks great with this orange'... i want to make more stuff that looks like promotional material for my stories. of course behind every movie poster is 100,000 thumbnails and sketches and half-finished ideas. i want to remember that and not be hard on myself for drawing girl in profile #997.

i want to draw more autobio comics, just to be drawing more comics and also to look back on and know what i was doing that day. nothing fancy. a lot of people are doing that gentle comics habit this year and i fear my competitive nature may get me into it too.

i have more books i wanna create which ive talked about at length in my last diary entry and for now i think that's enough goals thank you very much. thank you for reading this far and for all your support. happy new year! love you x

[vexation-816]

Hello it is I, random anon who does not know you and has never interacted with you before, what is your opinion of your mutuals?

Byxell. I know this is you but I gonna still answer this question notheless.

Anyways my opinion on my mutuals. Well where do I start?

@rabid-mercenary16

Firstly, there's the 'Greyscale Jester' Rabid. One of the first people that Ive interacted on here. She's a comedic, funny, creative, and an enjoyable person to talk to in general. When I first started on here I didn't think I would get noticed with my art but I started drawing out her characters and her and Glitchy being one of the first people to like my stuff. In the beginning I was honestly happy that people were liking the stuff I posted and shared on here. She and the others are just a big reminder to me of how I matter and just a funny person to be around I really to the bottom of my heart appreciate them for that. You're an amazing person Rabid. Don't you ever forget that.

@moshieee

Secondly, there's the adhd buddy of mine Moshie. Who cannot like this lovable person. They're one of the second traditional artists that Ive interacted with on here and Ive just enjoyed interacting with them for this entire time. They're an absolute funny, creative and amazing person to talk to in general. Ever since we started to talk more we'd just be rambling about our characters and ideas for hours and I just love their personality overall and they've just been an inspiration for me to keep going. You're an amazing person Moshie. Don't you ever forget that.

@bunnybunnsowo

Thirdly, there's the fluffy bunny friend Bun. He's a funny and creative person to talk about ideas with and they're just funny in general. I haven't talked to them until I started doing stuff for the Mafia AU and when I first talked with them they seemed like a very kind and lovable person to talk to and Im just glad that Ive been able to be friends with them and talk with them. Your amazing Bun. Don't you ever forget that.

@unfunnyaceartist

Next there's the cuphead fanatic Ace. I honestly haven't talked to her as much but she's honestly a very nice and funny person. She's very creative with what she does and they are just an amazing person to talk to in general. She's a very comedic person to talk to about Cuphead and other topics about the game. You matter Ace and don't you ever forget that.

@bixell-pixell

Next there's the robotic pal Bixell. They're a pretty creative and chill person in general. She's pretty funny and creative when it comes to the stuff that they do. Ive done 3D Modeling in the past and Im glad I found another person that takes interest in modeling. Overall they're a cool and funny person to talk to and Im glad that Im able to talk to them.

@dia-smthidk

Now we have 'The Prince' Dia. He's a pretty comedic person to talk with and they're just very creative in general. I remember that they were one of the first few people Ive started to interact with and their AU and they are just a funny person to talk to. Even when the mood is brought down they always manage to persevere. You're an amazing person Dia. Don't forget that. Make sure to take care of yourself.

@lilithloves-you

Now we catch up to Lilith. I honestly never had the chance to talk to Lilith but from what Ive seen she's a pretty nice and funny person to talk to in general. Im sorry if there's barely anything here I just haven't been able to talk to ya but your a very amazing and creative individual and don't forget that.

@glitchyk

Im not sure if Glitch will see this but I will type one out for them anyways. She is honestly a funny, creative, nice, and overall just an amazing person in general. They were always that little voice of motivation that just encouraged me to continue with traditional art and were just there for me whenever I was having a bad day or down to my lowest. I honestly do miss them to the bottom of my heart and I hope they are doing well at the moment.

@neptunestoast

Lastly, we have the Blob, Neptune. Ive seen them around here a few times before but never gotten a chance to talk to them. But when they got invited to the Sona Mafia server they are just a wholesome, funny and creative person to talk to. When I first saw their art style I was shocked on how good it was and was just thinking 'Why is this individual so underrated?!?" But still Neptune your an amazing person dude. Don't forget that.

Im sorry if some of my writing seems repetitive. Im not the best writer out there but I genuinely mean it when I say that you all are amazing people and Im just happy that I got to be able to interact with ya'll.

To the bottom of my heart. Thank you guys for just liking the stuff Ive done and just being like rays of hope and inspiration throughout my time on here. I appreciate you guys. I really do.

[marscarhime]

I saw your crk posts and now I must ask, what program and brushes do you use? Ive wanted to recreate the art style but I haven't been able to get it right because of my brushes (also I can't add line depth because I don't have a pen, making me need to use my finger)

Sorry for the long ask but one more question that I think me and many others will appreciate

Do you have any tips or tricks on how to draw like the crk style?

Hi!! So I use Procreate and I really only use MaxPack’s round uniform brush and hard round inker brush from the Essential MaxPack + the default airbrush Soft Brush for certain shading and gradients. You can find those here.

In terms of tips on how to draw in the crk art style, for me it honestly just took practicing it for a couple years now. If you go back and look at my old cr art, it’s way off model! But what I find helpful is studying the in-game models and splash art. Something that I do when posing character is also using the uniform square brush from the set above or something similar to block out their arms and legs since realistically cookies are pretty much flat with a tiny bit of dimension. Someone on twitter did something smart and traced the different body types of cookies too to use as reference, and that should help a lot in understanding their proportions (big heads, tiny bodies! Tinier than you’d think haha)

I’m sorry if that’s not the most helpful but I hope I explained it well enough! Happy to answer more questions the best I can!

[p-pamda]

2023 I start, 2024 slowly, but steady, hopefully.🐌 (long)

Muy buenas, im not sure how these year's reviews are done but I wanted to give it a go. I'll try to make it brief at least.

This year's been pretty big for a lot of reasons. Mostly personal reasons, but ill start with art cause the personal ones are moppy and bland as a sponge and we're here for art huehue >:')!!!

I did talksprites for Maples Maid Service! Its a very cute cozy game i was very fortunate to lend a hand on. Peti and Bleak-Creep did and are still doing an amazing job with it. Always updating. Did you know that you can play it now on CoolMathGames? I thought that was cool

I did Manon's talksprites for Loveweb (i love loveweb and doing talksprites hehe) I loved the series since the beginning so i was pretty happy when knowing i was able to help @shadokwastaken a little, since this 2 part video was a lot of work!

Check all Loveweb!

I did my first long comic (dont check it! its messy to understand and im embarrased, im proud of finishing it tho!)

I learned a lot, and i hope i can still make comics.

Apart from these... I honestly haven't done something real GRAND or MIRACULOUS this year related to art.

i promised myself to draw for myself and draw what i want at the moment, or what makes me happy. So I've been drawing a lot of my characters or comics only for meee, or practicing anatomy-skulls, or gifts for people.

Im gonna keep it that way, thanks a lot for the people who hangs in there with me even if i do this. BUT IM SORRY!!! ill make something cool one day.

I'm focusing on working on comic stuff, i wanna do my own one day. And a year resolution i have its to finish this year the history things to start this year or the next one. I hope everyone is still here to walk with me that bumpy road haha

And the sponge stuff

I'm not going to get much into it, but this year I started being like, a normal person my age. I mean. I'm still not fully there. and still have a long road there. But I've done some stuff I was terrified all my life of because of -things-

I got my first job, and I had to interact with people. Now a 1 year one with coworkers even. And they laugh with me and treat me nicely, even if im just being awkward. Its pretty mindblowing and still can't believe it sometimes.

Its kinda embarrassing, but it gives me a little hope that i can be out there and it'll be ok. And that i can be me and people will tolerate it.

I've been trapped scared, so much that i haven't been living at all. I got to one of those, things when people invite you to go somewhere? just because? ive never done that! i hate going outside but it was so cool aaa we went to watch a movie!!! i still have the tickets!!!

Maybe its because i haven't done anything never, and im really, not the brightest. But ive learned a lot this year. Ive been feeling very hopeful and happy.

Hope you all have a smooth new year. Wishing the best

Lets keep walking, Slowly but steady 🐌

Thanks for reading and for everything 💚

[daemonwritesstuff]

hello hello!! if its alright, could i request a matchup for project sekai and/or twisted wonderland? (o´▽`o)

my name is clockwork, or just clock works too!! im transmasc (16) and i go by he/they pronouns. im a leo, infp, and hufflepuff though i dont know what most of that means, haha! i think i have undiagnosed autism but its something i still have to talk to my doctor about. ive been on t for a year at this point and im hoping to get top surgery the second i turn eighteen. i mostly have an attraction to dudes, but i also like girls!

i’m pretty short (5’3”) and i have black hair that i like to bleach/dye as well as dark brown eyes. i still look pretty feminine, but i have a deeper voice (thank you testosterone) and i dress masculine though im not against dressing somewhat femininely in my freetime.

my main interests as of current are reading and watching different animanga series, playing video games, and watching vtubers!! my hope is that one day i’ll be able to audition to a talent agency one day and start streaming as a vtuber! i also want to expand myself musically, so i’m currently trying to learn the violin and want to pick up the piano one day! i also love band and i want to learn guitar or the drums. i also love drawing, though i dont do it much and im not very good at it, haha! its more of a hobby than something i want to perfect and become a professional in.

personality wise, i’ve been told i can actually look pretty intimidating but i’d like to think im a pretty nice person! i can be a little bit shy when first meeting someone, but once i know i have something in common with someone, i never shut up, haha!! i’m a really passionate person when it comes to the things im interested in and i do my best to make sure the people around me are happy. i can be super spontaneous and i’m not good at thinking before i act so i’ve done quite a lot of stupid stuff before. i’m super loud and i never know how to control my volume, but its mostly because im having fun. i have tendencies to overthink and my thoughts spiral way more often than i’d ever want to admit, but that’s just how it goes sometimes. i also get pretty irritated/frustrated easily, but i’m learning to get better at controlling that.

i guess my type would be someone who can both match my energy, as well as be patient with me. like, someone who can understand whenever i get too overstimulated or whenever i want to be affectionate even when i dont say it out loud, you know?

thank you for listening to my request, or if anything comes up and you can’t do it or have questions for me, then you can message me!! remember to stay hydrated and get enough sleep!! mwah mwah (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

A/N: Hi there mootie! I apologize for taking a while 🥹 but I really hope you enjoy this. Anyways, here I go!

Your soulmate for Project Sekai is…

Akito Shinonome

Honestly, I was gonna go for Toya but I truly feel like akito is a best match for you, honestly people say that akito can be intimidating and so can you and there’s so much more that I’m gonna explain on why akito is perfect.

He loves hearing you talk, usually about whatever like your interests that your passionate about, he also loves hearing your voice all the time too, he finds it attractive.

He also supports all your dreams and goals in life! Whatever you wanna do or wanna be he’ll always be there for you, cheering you on.

Since your learning violin and you wanna learn piano, his friend Toya will teach you how to to play them anytime, and since you draw as well I’m sure Ena would love that!

Potentially, if you wanted too, You, Akito and Toya could be in a poly relationship together, but that’s all up to you.

No matter what y’all just compliment each other so well.

Now, for your Twisted Wonderland Soulmate you’ll be with…

Idia Shroud!

So, since your shy and he’s shy he would definitely become friends with you at first.

You guys share a lot or interests with each other such as animanga, video games, etc, you guys would have weekly gaming nights with just you and him and you guys would also watch anime together as well.

You would be the one talking a lot and he would be the one always listening, he enjoys you taking about your passions and he’ll ask questions and do small reaction noises.

He is very patient with you, and he definitely understands when you get over stimulated as well and will try his best to help you even when he’s freaking out on the inside.

He supports you when you say you wanna become a vtuber! He will definitely help you out with that stuff!

Also if you want affection from him you may have to speak up some points.

[dumbbitchfrommars]

okay.

im purging the past. thats whats happening. scorpio season has come through guns blazing, bringing reminders of my distant past that ive struggled to let go of despite all my adamance that it doesnt matter anymore. it always mattered. it mattered so much it kept me from living my life, from meeting new people, from realising that i was worth so much better.

maybe i wasnt worth better. but now i am. it took time, i grew up, i changed. i found out who i am. what i value. what matters to me, how i could embody that and how i could attract that into my life with that outlook.

and now... the tests begin. days in a row of reminders from the past. murray was the worst of it, or maybe he was the least of it? he was the beginning. and jacinta was the end. alan was the end. im better than all of it. even sexy, beautiful, pretty photography boy murray. hes just another version of luke and adam. there are few people who are worthy of me now, and honestly, i am still not ready for a man in my life. but when i am i will see the signs. my era is friendships. finding the fulfilling, heart expanding, easy, connected friendships with women that i always dreamed and desired for. when i was a little girl. when i grew up. its always been about finding my forever tribe. and im beginning to find the foundations of that...

and even if theyre not forever, theyre right now, and i know my worth and i know how to protect my energy if things go awry. the most important thing is that i feel loved, and i feel surrounded by love, and i feel the freedom of being able to share all the love and kindness i hold in my heart, without being afraid of it being taken for granted or sucked away with nothing given in return. i am so blessed and lucky to have reached this turning point in my life.

and it only took until 22.

i came on here to write about all the reminders from the past... to go into detail about the signs and symbols and synchronicities... but they werent the forefront. well - they were. they happened and they triggered the memories to come back up. but the fact is... ive spent so much time on them already. i dont need to re analyse people ive spent hours drawing in my mind. the signs were there for a reason and i like to think i appreciate that divine reason. God sends me challenges only because she knows I can handle them. because she knows i will adapt to them, grow from them, and see the message she wanted me to hear... to see the subtext in that message. the subtext!

not to mention me seeing 11:11 while breaking down in tears about all my boy troubles. the truth is, they were all unworthy of me in the same exact ways. i wont gain anything from having them in my life in the same way i havent lost anything by removing them from it. they served a purpose, yes. they helped me. they taught me so much. but they were never meant to last. and now im stronger for it. everything happens for a reason. ive never felt stronger than i do right now. i rejected a guy that the old me wouldnt have felt worthy of even flirting with. it was so simple and quick too. i did that. i was strong enough to protect my own energy. and thats because i am so in love with and committed to myself. and that is how i strengthen my relationship with myself.

and that is how i made all my desires a reality, because once upon a time i was so heartbroken because i kept letting myself down. because i felt responsible for all the mistakes made by the ones who hurt me. but i get to choose who hurts me.

im making space for people who will love me unconditionally the way i love myself. that appreciate my voice, my thoughts, my creativity, my light. that see me and hear me and want to shower me with love.

ive literally shifted my life into a new fucking timeline. ive changed my whole reality.

while my heart breaks for the ones i once loved. i send out a prayer for them, for their healing, and for their happiness. but my own wellbeing is my priority now. the way it should always be, the way it will always be now. I AM MY PRIORITY. my happiness. im sorry (no, im really not), but i come first. and so it is....

[ddarker-dreams]

OKAY NOT AN ASK BUT IVE NEVER EVEN WATCHED HXH AND YOUVE SINGLEHANDEDLY MADE ME OBSESSED WITH CHROLLO. I AM BARKING AND MEOWING FOR THIS MAN. like the dialogue is so natural and i can perfectly visualize it in my head. i’ve literally spent all of the last three days reading and rereading your fics like holy balls they’re so good. u are an amazing author thank u for ur service (also as an enby i really appreciate that you write gender neutral readers :D) OKAY THAnK YOU HAVE A NICE DAY

THREE DAYS ... WHEEZES ... omggg thank you for dedicating so much time to reading my chrollo stories!!! especially since you haven't watched/read hxh?? i hope you'll consider giving it a shot at some point 👀 it is my all time favorite anime and i swear by it. chrollo is such an interesting character, if you like his vibe in my fics, you'll enjoy him even more in canon!! he's got this enigmatic thing going on that just draws in your attention. although this could be said for almost the entire cast of characters in hxh... they're all so amazing that it blows my mind.

thank you again!!! and Ah,, i always feel very worried about how i write gender-neutral readers since i’ve seen some discussion around it not always being done the best. i’d honestly really appreciate it if anyone had like. some resources they want to share about how to do it better/some common pitfalls to avoid. i’m able to remain cognizant of avoiding things that’d allude to reader’s body type/race, but when it comes to doing gender-neutral readers well, i’m sure there are some blind spots i’m not aware of... so please hmu if there’s any advice on this floating around out there. i’d greatly appreciate it. 

THANK YOU PRECIOUS ANON 💖💖 this is actually a pretty accurate assessment of chrollo. the guy is chill while simultaneously having no chill, if that makes sense. a paradox of sorts. ice cream would do him some good. 

I’LL START YELLING TOO  !!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH <3

‘slimy yet pretty’ i love this description of chrollo omg. it’s so true. i’m so happy to see you guys enjoying my chrollo you have no idea ... writing for him is such a joy, i’m glad you guys are having fun reading his stories!! i’m not sure how to describe it well, but there’s this different Vibe from dark content stories that take place in modern times. i love writing for genshin, but i use so much modern lingo that i sometimes want to scream when i remember those idioms haven’t been invented yet. it’s okay though. that’s what my hxh writing is for. 

genshin has me looking stuff up like “how do ink and quills work”. y’know. just to make sure i don’t miss any details. 

[scourgefrontiers]

i had a sort of semi-epiphany or something earlier but i havent been able to fully register it yet. in regards to art

it was when i was looking at my old art style again and. oh fuck it i'll turn this into a ramble post lol

anyway so i was thinking about my cartoony style. you know the one. the one ive been working towards for like..years at this point lol. and i was thinking about how i originally fell in love with it bc of how simple and appealing it was, but it kind of over time turned into a necessity to learn how to draw that way bc i wanted to break into the animation industry. and ive found that now that i no longer want that for myself, im kind of slowly falling out of love with my toony style??

not that i'll completely give it up b/c i do love drawing anime characters as cartoons sometimes still, but im starting to realize i have another style inside me that ive always enjoyed and that came to me naturally--the style i used in 2014-2015. ive said it so often but i think it still holds up aesthetically--it just needs polishing in terms of like..anatomy and structure. i think i can do it

the thing about the 2014 style i used was just..it felt like Me. it screamed "dan drew this" to me when i looked at it, and that feeling still holds true when i see it now. so i think i wanna continue to use it

i know a lot of ppl enjoy my toony stuff so im reassuring those ppl that im not giving it up! i just might not use it as frequently haha

ive given some thought to my career and honestly right now im pretty happy just being a commission artist. it makes pretty decent money (and by that i mean it pays for my rent and food so far, sometimes extra if im careful) and it allows me to draw for people and set my own schedule and just. do what i love for a living. its pretty great atm. so i dont want to work in the animation industry all that much anymore

with that in mind, its given me some room to let my style go loose, since i dont feel like i have to conform to a style that appeals to the masses or is super animation-friendly. so thats where im coming from when i talk about using a less toony style in the future!

[chocoholicannanymous]

If the Spit Hits the Fan (Glee) Part XV

Follows pt I, pt II, pt III, pt IV, pt V, part VI, pt VII, part VIII, part IX, part X, part XI, part XII, part XIII and part XIV.

Being Sebastian's boyfriend really isn't that much different from being his friend. They do a lot of the same things, and talk about the same stuff, only now there's hand-holding and kissing and cuddling with it. Apart from the touching though? Nothing really changes much.

Which kind of makes it sound like how it was with Blaine.

It's not though.

Sebastian will hold his hand in the hallway without worrying about being seen. And yes, Dalton is different from McKinley – so, so much different, and safer – but Blaine even hesitated to hold Kurt's hand in the choir room, surrounded by friends.

Sebastian kisses him in a way that never leaves Kurt doubting there's attraction, and has to stop his hands from wandering too far on a regular basis – yet never making Kurt worry he won't stop.

Sebastian makes Kurt have to stop himself, both from allowing it and from doing his own wandering. They're still too new to go there, no matter how much Kurt's hormones sit up and beg every time Sebastian touches him. (They'll get there, Kurt's sure, just... Step by step, and not yet.)

Sebastian reaches out for Kurt without looking – sometimes seemingly without thinking – to pull him close, and always makes a space for him.

And when Sebastian sings, it's with Kurt, or for him, not at him.

It's a far cry from scheduled make-outs and avoiding even PG13 levels of PDA and being made to feel like his boyfriend is more interested in his own hand than in Kurt.

It's amazing.

There's a rainbow rose hanging on Kurt's door on Valentine's day. He and Sebastian have been dating for two days – a day and a half, if he was to be picky – and Kurt knows from last year's insanity that there's not a flower shop within two hours of Vesterville that carries rainbow roses. They have to be ordered special, and with a lot more warning than two days.

Kurt's not the least bit ashamed about how he squeals, or how he turns on his heel and kisses his boyfriend (!) for long enough to be a little dizzy afterwards.

This isn't to say that Sebastian is a perfect boyfriend. He's not. Then again, neither is Kurt. He's working from romantic movies and the examples from the New directions, and of course from his time with Blaine. Neither is a good road map. Romantic movies have so many flaws Kurt don't really want to examine, and a lot of his favorites are set too far back in time to be useful as guidelines. The loves lives of his old glee mates are...well. They're flawed too, when seen without rose-colored glasses and envy.

As for his relationship with Blaine... Even if he's not counting how it ended that relationship was so very less than perfect, and honestly it was both their faults. Kurt's not without blame, he knows that and can admit it without somehow pretending what Blaine did wrong never happened.

So he's trying to learn from his mistakes, and other people's mistakes, and he does his best to communicate with Sebastian – who does the same in return.

Also, no one can say that they don't argue. They definitely do. They have from the beginning, and they're both opinionated passionate people, so why should they stop now? Their relationship has changed – they themselves haven't.

It's just that they manage to argue in a way that works. That doesn't makes Kurt pull out his claws to eviscerate Sebastian, that doesn't scare Kurt, or make him give in to “preserve the peace”. That, right there, was one of the things that had sent his relationship with Blaine down the wrong turn. When he'd first told his dad that he'd begun dating Blaine Burt Hummel had told him never to go to bed angry with his partner. He'd meant to sort out arguments and disagreements, but Kurt had interpreted it as needing to back down and push down his anger or hurt. With Sebastian he doesn't.

They argue, because that's who – and how – they are, but they do it in as mature and healthy way as they are able to, being teenagers. And they apologize if they step over the line. Not Kurt apologizes, regardless, with Sebastian pouting until he does, but both of them.

If Kurt had to, he'd call it damned near perfect. Instead he'll just say it's good, and he's happy.

That's never something to look down on.

The week of Regionals is weird. Kurt's never felt as prepared or as calm with a competition approaching, which is rather telling. The rest of the Warblers are a different story though. Kurt has made it clear that his primary goal is to beat the Troubletones, and his friends are feeling the pressure. They even ask if Kurt and Sebastian won't reconsider singing 'Human Nature'.

“Look, guys, I'm honored, really, that you would trust me, us like that. But I want to win more than I want that solo. And even if we ignore the fact that Ohio doesn't seem ready for a gay duet, I really do think the setlist we have is stronger as is. The Troubletones have a great presence, and both Mercedes and Santana are awesomely talented. However, everything about the Troubletones are built around them. The rest of the girls are background and dancing. If we go on with a number that's the same they are going to win, for no other reason than that most people find girls prettier and nicer to look at.

“But if we go on as an actual choir, for a show choir competition? We'll win. I'm sure of it. We've worked so hard with our songs, and I wouldn't change a thing about our setlist.”

And it's true. They have an amazing setlist, and everything flows in a way that makes Kurt feel practically professional, and he's not giving that – and its chance to win – up to stare longingly at Sebastian while singing a song that exposes them to the core.

No. Kurt's going to have quite a lot more time in the spotlight than he'd expected when turning down a proper solo. He's going to sing with his friends, and his boyfriend, and he's going to show McKinley what it means to be a team onstage.

The Troubletones are just as amazing onstage as Kurt thought. They've done a good job picking their songs, and Mercedes still has the best voice he's ever heard live. Santana's not quite as talented, but give her the right song – which these are – and she'll blow your mind. Their choreography showcases the girls poached from the Cheerios without making Mercedes look too far behind, and their clothes look good.

Kurt would vote for them any day, even with Rachel being given a place in the background, except this one. This is going to be his day. He meets Sebastians eyes as they line up and nods.

Showtime.

'I want You Back' does exactly what it's meant to, namely getting the audience in a party mood. As the last notes flows into the first from 'Man in the Mirror' the mood shifts and Kurt feels his own shift with it. His solo feels a little raw, because in no way can he sing those lines without being reminded of all the crap he's gone through over the past 6 months.

“...a willow deeply scared, somebody's broken heart and a washed out dream...”

Well. His heart might have been broken, and his dreams about Blaine did wash out. But he's got new dreams, and his hearts healed, and no matter the scars he's whole where it matters. And even if he wasn't? He's looking in the mirror, and he's changing.

They bring the party back with their last song, giving their all transforming the sounds of 'Beat It' to sounds that can be reproduced by the human throat. The dancing is the most demanding Kurt's ever done onstage, and he knows he will definitely be beat after. But they look and sound awesome, and that's all that matters.

Or maybe not, he ruefully thinks as he sees Finn on his feet, jumping up and down and whooping as the Warblers are proclaimed the winners and Rachel looks like she's been pelted with eggs again.

“You stole our songs!”

Of course. All Kurt wants to do is get on the bus, go back to Dalton and celebrate. Okay, shower, then celebrate. So naturally Rachel is waiting to ambush him. Well, that's not going to go the way she's probably thinking.

“Really? Really Rachel, you're going there? You know very well that we didn't steal anything. Oh, I know that there was a suggestion that the New Directions do Michael for Sectionals, but I also know that you were the one who refused to accept it.

“You really blew it there. Michael is a great choice for Sectionals or Regionals, what with the Ohio mindset, and I'm pretty sure you would have won with the setlist the guys suggested. I'm not surprised you put a stop to it though.”

Rachel draws back, looking first shocked, then insulted, then finally like an angry goose, complete with hissing sound. He's not letting it touch him though, lets it run over him, one might say, like water over a goose.

“There are no songs in Michael Jacksons discography that's a given for you, no certainty that you'll be featured. And in the end, that's what mattered, wasn't it? Not that the New Directions won, but that you won. You wanted to beat the Troubletones, didn't you? Wanted to show that you were better than Mercedes, wanted to prove that her beating you when auditioning for Maria was just a fluke. Wanted to prove what everyone knows, that's she's every bit as good as you, and sometimes better, is wrong.

“Well, congratulations. You got what you wanted in terms of the setlist and the spotlight, but you fucked up everything else. And not just for you, but for everyone.”

An expression of pain flies across Rachel's face, and he pushes the knife in a little bit further.

“We weren't as blind though. The minute Finn told me about the Michael setlist I knew it was a winner. As did the other Warblers. I asked Finn first, and Sam and Puck. They didn't think we needed their permission, as you didn't use the songs, but they gave it any way.”

Kurt looks at Rachel, looks at the way she's still fuming, still refusing to see any other side than her own. It won't matter what he says – she'll keep ignoring any and all arguments against her. Once he might have tried harder to make her understand, but as things are he just wants to leave. His boyfriend's waiting and that makes Kurt out of time to spend on his former friend.

“Your loss, our gain.”

He starts to leave, but thinks better of it. He's got one more jab in him.

“Oh, and Rachel? Don't worry. Going to Nationals is a privilege, and we won't waste it. We've already gotten started on a setlist.”

It's petty, but. So's she.

That evening the Warblers celebrate as thoroughly as a bunch of uniformed boys in a well-staffed boarding school can. This means that it's late when Kurt drags Sebastian to his room (unlike him Sebastian's in a single), but neither of them is under the influence of anything but happiness.

That's important to Kurt as they tumble into Sebastian's bed while kissing, because he doesn't want there to be any doubt in Sebastian's mind that when Kurt pulls off his shirt and then goes for his fly it's because he wants to.

Having Sebastian stop him is frustrating, to say the very least.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

It's only the fact that it's Sebastian, and that he's shown himself trustworthy in so many ways over the past months that stops Kurt from storming out.

“I thought we... You know?”

It's so hard to say, to open himself up like this, years of being told he's a predator, or ugly, or plain wrong getting just as much in his way as the fact that he's never done this, and the only time he's been even close wasn't even about him.

Apparently he's going to have to use his words regardless, because Sebastian's not taking the opening.

“I thought we could have sex.” There. Words. Consent. Door wide open.

And yet Sebastian's still not taking the opening.

“What's the hurry?”

Kurt pulls back a little, hurt blooming.

“No, no, don't. Talk to me, okay? I'm a bit surprised I guess. We haven't even been dating for two months yet, and I know this is new for you.”

“So? It's not like I'm waiting for marriage.”

Kurt knows he sounds a bit snippy, and he has sort of been waiting – not for marriage, but for something, some feeling of more. He's got that feeling with Sebastian, so what's the point of waiting any longer? Everyone else his age (or so it feels) is having sex so why can't he?

Some of it must bleed through because Sebastian gets that “aha” look, and nods a bit.

“Look, regardless of what I might have said or implied when chasing Blaine, I'm actually not the whore of Babylon. I have, however, rounded a few bases and enjoyed them. I think you'd enjoy them too, and I would love to find out first hand. But that doesn't have to mean we go straight to fucking.” Kurt blushes, because he might be ready to do it, but those words...

“So. I'm not going to push, and I'm not going to rush. I am more than interested though, I'm just happy to take it a bit slow. To build up to every step. As far as I'm concerned you've earned that.”

Sebastian's looking so earnest it kills Kurt annoyance, and then lightning-quick it's replaced by a vicked look than makes him shiver all over.

“I wouldn't mind showing you the first of many, many bases now though. How about it, babe?”

Kurt doesn't mind either, neither then nor the next day.

[runeterrankhaleesi]

hey I’d like a matchup for league, ive been hyperfixated recently…so a little bit about me

i’m 5’7, shoulder length wavy brown hair, brown eyes with glasses. as for how i dress i’m a victorian goth. I’m bisexual and my pronouns are she/they!

for my personality i’m initially a very quiet and reserved person and I keep to myself for the most part, but when I make friends and am with those friends it’s a whole different deal. around my friends I love to crack jokes, and I can be very vulgar and obscene too. I’m very caring for my friends as well, i’m like the “mom friend” of sorts, and i’m someone that anyone can go to to vent and get things off their chest. However, I can also be really sarcastic and snarky, and I tell a lot of mean jokes, though I apologize profusely every time i see someone become uncomfortable. I have pretty frequent mood swings too, I can easily go from very happy to extremely sad to happy again at the drop of a hat.

For my hobbies i’d have to say i’m really focused on the arts. I draw and i’m a concert violinist. I also enjoy writing songs. I have a weird fascination with mental health and anatomy too, I love to research about the human body and how the brain works.

that’s all i can really get off the top of my head, i love your writing by the way!

[A/N: Thank you darling for loving what I do, I really appreciate it! Kisses!😘😘]

--------

I pair you with...

DIANA!

Why? Because...

You're both quiet and reserved that I have a feeling you'd both enjoy just being in each other's presence.

Diana likes your choice of clothing, it makes you stand out from the crowd and it really emphasizes just how beautiful you are.

And she's 5'10. She knows you're a few inches so she uses it as an opportunity to pat your head and call you "little" or "small", or make small jokes in general.

Just like you, Diana would often crack jokes with people she's comfortable with, just don't expect them to be funny.

Plus, you're both the "mom" in the friend group, which means you're both reliable and mature.

Though she can get rather sarcastic and immature when she's mad, especially when someone insults you in front of her. She will not hesitate to throw off handed comments to the bastard in public.

Honestly, Diana likes that she has a person she could talk to, she loves being able to vent to you without being criticized because she's "different".

She's an understanding and patient person. She understands the unpredictability of your mood swings and to be honest, she likes it. She thinks it's unique how much a person's mood can change in a matter of seconds.

Diana loves music, any kind, and she'd really like to hear you play on your violin, especially your original songs.

Not to mention, she'd like to learn a thing or two about mental health and anatomy. She thinks it's fascinating.

💝~Happy Valentines Day!~💝

[You were matched together by @mellonzinho]

[ceilingfan5]

also for that meme: 5, 22, 34!!!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

honestly im proud of different ones for different reasons! my first published fic makes me happy because i went and did the damn thing and was brave, branching out from what felt safe at the time (constantly role-playing with my now ex) to a place where strangers could look at and COMMENT on my work! i think my fic with the most kudos is one of my opm fics that i reread now and laugh about how silly it is, but im still pleased that so many people enjoyed it and cheered me on to grow! im really proud of Little Shop of Horny because I really admired ailem @honeysweetcorvidae and wanted to write with/like them and getting to roleplay that and then PUBLISH that with them was so thrilling! im super proud of paper crowns because it's my longest work, but i think maybe im most proud of sticker stars because it's the biggest thing ive written entirely by myself and i feel like it's pretty cohesive and solid!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

i simply cannot, it distracts me too bad. sometimes i can manage rain sounds MAYBE. but i can't even do like, piano music or spanish guitar really quiet, i've tried. music with words? im done for. thats kind of why ive gotten into drawing! i wanted to be able to do things and create at the same time!

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

maybe the ground beef section from sticker stars ch 5? i remember it came out of nowhere and i just laughed to myself about how fucking funny i am

They weave between shops and duck into a maze of alleys, and as soon as the clusterfuck of jackasses comically run past without seeing them, they both sigh in relief. Kravitz can hardly breathe, and not just because he wasn’t expecting to run after eating all of that ravioli. He can’t believe he did that. He can’t believe he said those things. He can’t believe it’s been documented for the whole world to see and inevitably going to blow up and people are going to ask him questions about it and every day now is going to be like this, being swarmed and photographed and screamed at? Usually he hides from the press, and now he feels like he’s been paraded around naked in front of them.

“Hey, breathe,” Taako says, squeezing his hand. Kravitz hopes he hasn’t been trying to crush Taako’s in his for this whole experience. “Put your head between your knees, or whatever. C’mon.”

Kravitz nods and obeys, and Taako lets go of his hand only to gently rub his back. Kravitz doesn’t get what he’s done for Taako to deserve this, but he appreciates it more than he could possibly articulate. The dirty stone wall is cold behind him, and there’s a grocery store ad blowing around on the pavement. $3.29 a pound for ground beef. Is that a good deal? He doesn’t cook. Taako cooks. But does he buy his own ingredients? Would he know?

“Three twenty-nine,” he says, breathless, “Beef.”

Great job. Knocked that one out of the park.

“Huh?” Taako says, charitably.

“S- Is that-” In through the nose and out through the mouth. His head is starting to pound from this position. He straightens up and feels dizzy, and he bumps into Taako. Taako steadies him, bemused, a weird twisted expression on his face.

“You good, dog?”

“Stellar. Is that good? Good price for beef?” He tries keeping his tone casual. It is not, get this, working very well at all.

“Uh, yeah?” Taako puts his hands on Kravitz’s shoulders, holding him onto the planet. Kravitz should write him a thank you card. He is very much feeling like floating away and never coming back, and he sort of has some shit to do in the coming weeks that would be made much more difficult by becoming a low-orbit satellite. “Yeah. Why, you want some? You gonna turn into a werewolf on me? We just had lunch.”

“No, it’s-” Kravitz gestures at the ad, which is blowing away. He frowns. Taako’s going to think he’s nuts. He feels nuts. He can’t believe this is the day he’s having. “I can’t believe I proposed to you.”

“You did an incredible job, by the way. Great work saving your panic for private.”

“Thanks,” Kravitz says, feeling like Taako’s tricked him into smiling. “It’s one of my top marketable skills.”

[musecharm-writes]

Bad Influence, Pt 2 (Steve Harrington X Reader)

Summary: Jonathan, Robin, Steve, and Nancy find out more about what happened at Melvald’s; you have your first shift at the general store.

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

When Nancy, Jonathan, Steve, and Robin head to the Byers’ later that night, Joyce is there, making herself a sandwich and smoking a cigarette in the kitchen.

“Jonathan, sweetie? That you?”

“Yeah, Mom,” Jonathan replies. “Nancy, Steve, and Robin are here, too.”

Joyce appears around the corner, a look of surprise on her face. “Oh! Hey, guys! Sorry, if I had known you were coming I would’ve cooked dinner, or--or gotten take-out, or something. Will is over at Dustin’s tonight so I was expecting it to just be me and Jonathan--” She cuts herself off to take a pull from her cigarette.

“That’s okay, Ms Byers, me and Robin were gonna get pizza later,” Steve says politely. He’s always been good with parents, moms especially, and for whatever reason Joyce seems to like him. 

He assumes that Jonathan has never breathed a word to her about all the shit Steve used to put her son through, otherwise he’d probably be eating all his meals through a straw to this very day.

“Hey, Mom,” Jonathan begins, in a characteristically unsubtle fashion, “we were wondering if we could ask you about something.”

Joyce smiles, somewhat unsurely. “Okay,” she says, with a nervous little laugh, “ask away.”

Jonathan and Nancy share a look before Nancy says, “We were wondering if you knew anything about what happened at Melvald’s earlier today?”

Joyce’s eyebrows draw together, a furrow appearing like magic on a face that Steve privately thought looked too young for all the stress Joyce Byers carries with her. “How do you all know about that?”

“Steve and Robin saw it,” Jonathan says.

“Uh, technically only I saw it,” Steve corrected. “I’m still not quite sure what it was all about, though, we were too far away.”

Joyce nods slowly, her lips pursed thoughtfully. “Well… I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to tell you. Technically, I’m supposed to keep it kind of a secret.”

“We won’t tell anyone,” Nancy says, and Steve can tell she’s trying her absolute best to look innocent and wide-eyed. “We’re very curious, is all. And, honestly, a little worried that something bad is happening again.”

Clever play, Nance. They weren’t worried there was another impending apocalypse -- not really. She’s just trying to appeal to Joyce’s instinct to comfort.

Sure enough, it works; that furrow in Joyce’s brow deepens as her conflicted expression melts into a look of concern. “Oh, honey, no. It’s nothing like that.” She bites her lip, mulling it over for a moment, before she says, “Okay, if I tell you, you all have to promise you’ll keep it quiet, okay?”

They all give various answers in the affirmative.

“Someone -- a teenager, around your age -- tried to steal a carton of cigarettes from Melvald’s. I spotted them right as they slipped it into their pocket and started to walk away. Powell and Callahan happened to be there, stopping by on their way to the station, so they took the kid in.”

“Seriously? They tried to steal cigarettes?” Nancy asks, her nose wrinkling with her distaste. “God, that’s so stupid. I’m glad you caught them.”

Joyce sighs. “I feel a little bad for getting them in trouble. It seems like it’s just a case of a good kid making bad choices. I mean, I remember myself at that age…” She shakes her head, taking another drag from her cigarette. She walks over to the coffee table and flicks ash into the ashtray.

“I mean, you did the right thing though, right? Just because they’re some mixed up kid doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have to learn from their mistakes just like anyone else,” Steve says.

Everyone, save for Joyce, turns to look at him.

“...Why are you all staring at me like that?”

Robin puts a hand on his shoulder. “Probably because that’s the most intelligent thing that’s ever come out of your mouth,” she says, giving his shoulder a little pat.

“Hey!” Steve exclaims, but everyone else is laughing, and he can’t help but smile.

Even though he knows it can’t possibly be true, because he says intelligent stuff all the time.

--

The morning of your first shift at Melvald’s begins with your alarm clock, which you set the night before to go off at five. Unfortunately, it never actually went off; unbeknownst to you, one of the breakers had tripped in the middle of the night, which reset your alarm clock.

You wake up from a blissful sleep and roll over to see the blinking red 12:00 . For a second, you don’t comprehend what you’re looking at, and then when it sinks in, you scramble out of bed so frantically that you go tumbling to the ground, tangled in the sheets, yelling, “SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!”

You get ready faster than you ever have in your life, skipping breakfast and brushing your teeth in the kitchen sink while tugging on your clothes. As soon as you’re ready, you’re flying out the door, grabbing your bike, and peeling down the road that will bring you to Downtown Hawkins. You count your lucky stars that the only drivers out this early are the people driving to work.

When you get to Melvald’s, you chain your bike up at the bike rack and blow through the door like a hurricane, your cheeks bright red with exertion and your blood rushing in your ears. The tinkling of the bell over the door is almost mocking in its gentleness.

The store is almost completely empty except for a single woman in a uniform vest who appears to be pricing items. She looks over at you; you recognise her as Joyce Byers, the woman who caught you stealing the cigarettes.

“Oh! Hey,” she says, sounding surprised to see you.

“I’m so-- so sorry,” you pant, walking forward a bit to lean on the counter. “My… My alarm... didn’t go off, and I--”

She waves a hand. “Don’t worry about it. You’re actually early.”

You pause, your chest heaving, looking at her in disbelief. “Really?”

“Yep. By about…” She looks at a clock behind the counter. “Fifteen minutes, give or take.”

You let your head loll against your back. “So I skipped breakfast for nothing.”

Joyce smiled sympathetically. “‘Fraid so. Sorry. If it makes you feel better, Hop’ll definitely be happy about it.”

And, embarrassingly enough, it does make you feel a little better.

You’d like to say your first day on the job goes pretty well.

You’d like to say that, but if you did, it would be a lie.

It starts with the pricing gun, which miraculously stops working moments after Joyce leaves you to your task. She assures you that it’s just because the damn thing is so old and Gary refuses to replace it because of how expensive they are, which makes you feel a little better, but part of you still feels as though you broke it despite her reassurance.

Then, when Joyce offers you a break to go and grab lunch for the two of you from the diner, you almost lose the money she gives you thanks to a hole in your pocket that you hadn’t even realised was there. Thankfully, you’re able to make it with the cash still in hand, but the incident makes you so nervous that on the way back to the store you almost drop everything multiple times.

When you finally make it back, the store is unusually busy, so you’re forced to stow the paper take-out bags under the counter as Joyce attempts to teach you how to use the register. You frantically memorise as much as you can, and are somehow able to make it through the rush without missing a beat, but by the time it’s over and the two of you are able to take a load off, your lunch is stone cold.

“I’m sorry,” you say to Joyce, staring dejectedly at your cold fries. “I don’t know why I’m having such a shitty day today. I’m trying so hard but it feels like everything is going wrong.”

Joyce shakes her head. “Hey, no. It’s okay. Sometimes, you just have bad luck, no matter how hard you try. It’s not your fault.” She places a hand on your shoulder and squeezes.

You wonder why she’s being so nice to you, but you can’t work up the nerve to ask. Instead, you ask if there’s a microwave you can use to heat up the food.

Toward the end of your shift at around 12:30, Joyce calls you over from where you’ve been organising a window display and says, “Hey, would you mind going into the back and grabbing the boxes that have ‘ballpoint’ and ‘pencil - yellow’ written on them? I need to restock.”

“I’ll do it for you!” You blurt out. You can feel your cheeks flushing.

“Oh,” Joyce says, raising her eyebrows at you. “Okay. Uh, I’ll show you where they go and then that’ll be the last thing you have to do before I let you go for the day. Okay?”

You nod, too flustered to speak. You need Joyce to like you for reasons you aren’t totally sure of, and you hope with every part of you that you aren’t being too obvious.

Joyce walks you through restocking the shelves and then sends you on your way to retrieve the boxes from storage. They’re bigger than you thought they would be considering they’re just boxes of pens and pencils, but you guess it makes sense, since it’s not like the boxes are full of individual pencils and pens. There are three of them, standard sized cardboard boxes; you lift each one and find that you could probably carry two at a time, if you were careful. You stack the two boxes of pencils on top of each other on the ground, squat, and lift them up with a grunt of effort.

Now that you’re holding them, you realise it’s a little hard to see around the boxes. You have to angle your head awkwardly to peer around one side, which leaves you with a pretty big blind spot. You guess you’ll just have to trust that any customers nearby will be smart enough to stay out of the way.

You’ve made it almost all the way to the correct shelf before tragedy strikes again.

You glance down at the ground to make sure that there’s nothing you could trip over or slip on, and as you’re adjusting your grip on the bottom box, you hear a voice coming near you.

“--And stop nagging me! You’re not my mother, Buckley!”

Shortly following this is a shout of, “Steve! Watch where you’re--!”

You look up right in time to slam into someone.

The boxes fly right out of your hands. Boxes of yellow Ticonderoga pencils go flying, scattering across the floor. Some of the boxes even come open and pencils go rolling every which way. You end up flat on your ass in the middle of it all.

For a moment, you stare at the boxes of pencils all over the floor, gobsmacked. Once you’re able to tear your eyes away from the mess, you look up to find Steve Harrington looking down at you with his eyes as wide as dinner plates, but not one strand of hair out of place.

The two of you just stare at each other for a moment. Then, Harrington opens his mouth.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” he babbles, dropping to his knees and starting to pick up the stray boxes and escaped pencils. “That was an accident, uh-- shit, I swear I’m not usually this much of a klutz. I’m sorry, please, lemme help--”

“It’s okay,” you sigh, somewhat dejected. You’re probably going to have to stay after your shift ends to finish picking all this up and do what you promised Joyce. You glance at the clock and find your theory is confirmed, to your dismay. “I can handle it. It’s my job.”

“No, really, I…” He pauses after a moment, squinting at you. “Wait. Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?”

He has. The two of you went to school together for, like, your entire lives. That’s not what he means, though; he recognises you from yesterday, when he watched you get patted down and shoved in a cop car after making the dumbest mistake you’ve ever made in your life.

“We went to the same school for twelve years,” you say stiffly. Like hell are you gonna remind him if he actually forgot.

“...Oh,” he replies awkwardly. “Uh. Sorry. But, no, I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere else. Did you used to hang out at the mall? I used to work there. Oh!” He snaps his fingers. “Wait! I got it! You’re the one who got arrested yesterday, right?”

Before you can answer, a girl you vaguely recognise as being a high schooler a couple of years your junior appears at Harrington’s side, grabbing him by the arm and yanking him with surprising strength and an almost enraged expression.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” She hisses at him, before turning to you with a sunny smile. “I’m so sorry about him, he’s chronically stupid. We’re going to go before he says another dumb thing, right , Steve?” She has him by the ear, now, and you have to admit it’s kind of funny; she’s a couple of inches shorter than him, so he has to bend down to keep her from tearing his ear off.

“OW! Yes , Robin, jesus! Let go of me, I’m leaving!”

As you watch them go, you can’t help but feel disappointed. You’d kind of wanted someone to help you pick up the pencils.

--

When Robin and Steve are outside of Melvald’s, Robin finally lets go of Steve’s ear, saying, “Steve, what have we talked about? About thinking before we speak?”

Steve scrubs a hand over his face. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m trying. It’s not as easy as it sounds.”

Robin rolls her eyes. “I know, dummy. I had to learn it, too.” She sticks her hands in her pockets and glances back into the general store through the front window. “So, what was your angle with that whole spiel back there?”

Steve blanches. “What?”

“I mean , you’re not just nice to people for no reason all the time, even if you did something to them. So why were you being such a hardcore nice guy?”

Steve opens his mouth to say something and realises he doesn’t have any clue how to respond. He crosses his arms and shrugs, flustered. “I dunno. Maybe I just felt like it. What’s it to you?”

He starts to walk away, tired of the conversation, and Robin comes trotting after him, still yapping right in his ear. (He pretends to be annoyed, but honestly, his heart feels full to the brim with love for Robin. Before her, nobody has ever chased after him before.)

“Uh, you’re my best friend, dumb-dumb! That’s what it is to me! My nose belongs stuck right in your business!” She catches up to him and runs around to plant herself in his path, grinning broadly. “So, tell me what it is that has you so riled up.”

Steve gapes at her for a moment before shrugging again. “...I don’t know.”

Robin arcs a brow at him. “Seriously? You’re still not gonna tell me?”

“Robin, c’mon, I’m telling you I have no idea ,” Steve insists. He sighs, and lowers his voice. “Look, I just felt this weird… Urge to stay and talk? And picking up the mess that I caused anyway seemed like a good excuse at the time. Until I stuck my foot in my mouth, that is,” he sighs.

Robin gasps. “Steven Janine Harrington--”

“Not my name.”

“--Do you have a CRUSH?”

Steve feels his entire body burst into flames. He looks around frantically, saying, “Will you keep your voice down?”

Robin’s face takes on an expression of pure glee. “So you do! Oh my god, I didn’t think you were capable. So, are you going to pursue anything? Or are you more the brood-from-afar type?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Oh my god, will you shut up? You’re such an embarrassment. This is why I never take you anywhere,” Steve says, walking off in a huff.

Robin chases after him, laughing her ass off. He’s glad at least one of them thinks the situation is funny.

[oneboxofmatches]

This is a request I did for the amazing @strawberry-caffeine​ -- she’s been so kind to me and it was an absolute joy to do this request!

A few things: With the length of the request, while I still included friendship matchups, I decided not to write out descriptions/explanations along with them. To (hopefully) make up for that, I put the #1 friendship choice in BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS with two other bonus characters I think you’d be good friends with in regular bold type (except for the Harry Potter: Marauders era because there aren’t many choices haha). I hope this is okay!!

Here we go!

--Supernatural--

I romantically pair you with…

JACK KLINE

You’re good at hyping your friends up? Please give this boy all the hype in the world -- he needs it.

Seriously though, one (out of many) of the reasons Jack loves you so, so much is how you’re able to talk him out of a slump. His constant doubts and insecurities regarding his identity plague him often, and the fact that you’re willing to both listen to him pour his heart out and still find a way to reassure him means the world.

Jack’s also still getting the hang of the whole “talking” thing, so you helping him along when a lull in the conversation arrives makes him feel supported.

Not only does your helpful nature benefit Jack, but it’s also one of his favorite traits of yours! He believes in a kind, just world and consistently seeing that from you never fails to bring a bright smile to his face.

Whenever you bottle up your feelings, however, Jack is admittedly at a loss at first. Though it would take patience, turning these moments into teaching opportunities will help him become more in tune with emotions over time.

During these moments, all he wants to do is help -- even before he really understands what’s going on. He’ll ask you what you need and rush to assist in any way he can. He hates seeing you hurt, it’s as simple as that.

Jack loves being around you because he learns so much, and you’re just as eager to teach him. Together, you learn to appreciate the little things in life because you both bring such different perspectives to the world.

Overall, the kindness you show Jack from the beginning is what drives your relationship, and he makes it his goal to make sure you know how loved and appreciated you are in return.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

CASTIEL, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Charlie Bradbury

--Harry Potter--

In the Golden Trio era, I romantically pair you with…

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM

Honestly, Neville’s insecurities may make him feel a little intimidated by you at first. Thoughts like, “How could someone as friendly, energetic, and spontaneous as her ever love me of all people?” are pretty common in the early stages of your relationship.

Of course, you help Neville understand fairly quickly that you aren’t going anywhere. Because you’re so good at reading and interpreting emotions, you’re able to assist him with addressing these doubts head-on. These personal conversations are what truly solidify your trust in one another and serve as the strong foundations of a powerful bond.

Also, Neville really appreciates your ability to keep a conversation going. He sometimes struggles with this himself, but he’s relieved he doesn’t have to worry about these shortcomings when it comes to you. Talking with you just comes naturally.

While his verbal communication can use some work, Neville is one of the best listeners to have on-hand when it comes to any problems that arise in your life. Someone’s pushing you to your limit? Neville has all the patience in the world to let you rant so you don’t have to bottle up your feelings. Need to talk through solutions to personal issues? He’ll give you his undivided attention while you work your way around to an answer, providing feedback if you ask for it. Feel the need to ramble? Neville will not only listen, but he’ll actually take a genuine interest in whatever it is you’re talking about.

While he otherwise second-guesses all his decisions, Neville surprisingly really enjoys venturing on unplanned, impulsive adventures with you. A favorite for the both of you is exploring areas on the grounds or in nature. You’re usually the one to charge ahead, excitedly talking while Neville hangs back a few steps. He takes in his surroundings, sure, but mostly he’s just watching you and simply feeling happy from the joy you radiate.

Speaking of things you love to do together, gardening is near the top of the list! One of Neville’s deepest passions is botany, and he doesn’t share his knowledge with just anyone. Seeing you take a true interest in your shared garden gives him all the warmest, fuzziest feelings imaginable.

Overall, you’re the one to bring Neville out of his shell, and he’s the one who takes time to listen to you. You bring out the best in each other, and your unbreakable bond makes the two of you fiercely loyal until the end.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LUNA LOVEGOOD, Nymphadora Tonks, Molly Weasley

In the Marauders era, I romantically pair you with…

REMUS LUPIN

You want to talk about one of the most understanding and patient individuals out there? It’s this one.

While Remus isn’t always keen on discussing his own emotions, he is very astute when it comes to sensing the well-being of others. Whether you’re burnt out, overwhelmed, on the verge of a breakdown or something bad just happened to happen to you that day, he knows.

Having people like James and Sirius as friends has taught him both how to tune in to the ramblings of a hyper person as well as how to utilize selective hearing. Remus realizes that he never wants to use that second skill with you. Unlike his friends (who he loves very much, mind you) he wants to take in everything you tell him.

It’s this active listening that makes Remus an excellent gift giver. A majority of the things he gives you are from offhand comments that you don’t think twice about making in the moment.

One of Remus’s absolute favorite things about you is the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you’re passionate about. He finds this trait so endearing, and it’s an easy way to make him smile.

Caring for you when your thoughts are traveling especially fast becomes second nature to Remus. Whenever he knows that he’ll see you, he always has at least one outlet (pen/paper, alcohol marker, etc.) for you. He’s also more than fine with you drawing something on his hand if you’d like -- he loves watching you work and he also gets to walk away with something that can remind him of you!

Remus also excels in history, reading, and writing, so I can definitely see many conversations between you two that revolve around these subjects. Also, after both of you complete your own essays, I believe proofreading and/or discussing each other’s work would become a habit of yours.

Overall, the shared ability to read and interpret emotions as well as the simple wish to care for one another draw you two together to form the sweetest couple around!

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LILY EVANS

--Marvel Cinematic Universe--

I romantically pair you with…

PIETRO MAXIMOFF

Pietro was first drawn to how easily you can hold a conversation. He recognized immediately how easy it was to joke around with you once you warmed up (which didn’t take long -- Pietro’s somewhat gifted with the power of easy conversation himself). You both felt comfortable around each other relatively quickly.

Yes, Pietro’s known for his impossibly quick movements, but no one stops to think that this requires impossibly quick thinking. While Pietro has had some time to grab somewhat of a hold on his abilities, he still struggles with thoughts that just move too fast for him. You show him some of your tactics for dealing with this, and it literally changes his life.

Up until that point, your interactions had been mostly fun and rather lighthearted. But helping Pietro in such a thoughtful way and relating to him on a level that no one usually can made him see you in a different life. That’s how he knew he loved you.

This can be a chaotic relationship at times to say the least.

Many of your conversations can hardly be followed because you often build off of each other’s energy. While your quick minds are often on the same page, a third person might not be able to keep up.

Pietro does NOT hesitate when it comes to standing up for you. As soon as he learned about your people-pleasing habit, he took it upon himself to be on guard for anyone who could possibly take advantage of you. While you may find it hard to say no, Pietro has no problem stepping in and telling someone to back off.

You might feel as if he goes a little overboard with this sometimes, telling him that it “wasn’t right to be mean to that person.” He’ll just glance at you, shake his head and start up a lecture (albeit not a harsh one -- he really does care about you!) about asserting personal boundaries.

Pietro and his ego LOVE compliments, so you can expect a welcome reaction to each one you give him.

He’s also a big fan of going on spontaneous trips, discovering different parts of the world side by side.

But he’ll also settle for getting to hold you while you two talk about your day.

Overall, Pietro has no problem matching your energy, and you both want nothing more than to discover the adventures life has to offer together.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

VISION, Thor, Tony Stark

--Hamilton--

I romantically pair you with…

JOHN LAURENS

John has a lot of respect for someone who manages to include everyone, so it’s no wonder you caught his eye.

First impressions already told him you were friendly and empathetic, but discovering the more energetic and spontaneous side of you? Yep, he was in love.

Both of you have always had a desire to help people, so being able to do that with someone who shares the same passion and energy feels special. You’re more than a couple; you’re a team.

Whenever John’s troubled by what’s going on in the world, it doesn’t take him long to turn to you. He’s one of the most stubborn people alive when it comes to admitting he needs help, but all he knows is that talking to you seems to relieve him of some of that load (please be patient with him!!).

Meanwhile, he knows you have your own ways of coping with racing thoughts so he feels comfortable giving you space when you need it. If what you need is a person to listen, however, he’s there in a heartbeat.

Serious topics aside, you two just know how to have fun! Between your friendly personalities that naturally draw others in and your impulsive natures that (most of the time) lead you to exciting experiences, you make so many mutual friends! Sharing a group of close friends -- surprise, surprise -- brings you and John even closer.

Overall, you and John can always be found by each other’s side when facing whatever comes your way, good or bad.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

PHILIP HAMILTON, Marquis de Lafayette, Peggy Schuyler