#honestly me 24/7 365

[bambiswhitespots]

Likewise, Your Grace.

[mishkakagehishka]

Maybe i should invest in earplugs

[borderline-abnormal]

computer: how do i learn to act like myself around others-- quickest route- no masking

....

'puter do you hear me?

[ranger-kellyn]

.

[kelin-is-writing]

@dabislittlemouse being super reletable in the tags and i agree with each one of them 🤧

18 + MDNI

dabi x fem!reader

sometimes dabi would get turned on and want to have sex in the most random moments really. that time he fucked you bent over your vanity and facing its mirror, claiming that he did it because you looked way too hot while putting on your lipstick? or that one time he fucked you against your apartment’s front door twice in a row only because you’ve wore thigh high socks and he absolutely goes crazy over the way they hug a little too tightly your toned thighs?

that’s the intimidating dabi of the league of villains for you, who’s also a doting and horny boyfriend that would never miss a chance to tease you. but well, that’s just how this huge grumpy cat shows love and you adore everything about him anyway.

today was sunday and of course you wanted to relax all day and do nothing. dabi has come to crash at your place, like always, and was now taking a bath while you were laying on your stomach on the couch scrolling through your phone.

after a few minutes he comes out of the bathroom shirtless, jeans hanging dangerously low on his waist and a towel around his neck as he used the cloth to dry his black locks, walking up to your kitchen for a glass of water.

a second he was complaining about there not being food in the fridge, while the later one as he turns back dabi froze on spot when he saw you wearing a grey t-shirt that reached a little bit below the curve of your ass with only black panties under it, his azure eyes fixing right away on your cunt and the way the underwear was hugging it so well.

his eyes darkened in an instant as he left the jug of water and glass on the counter, walking around it, up to you.

not hearing your boyfriend say a word, you furrowed your eyebrows about to ask him why the silence when instead of his name a yelp escaped your lips as you felt an hand palm your ass and a caress long your clothed pussy, right between the folds.

turning back you see dabi sit right at your side, on the egde of the couch, stare down at you with pure hunger inside his turquoise eyes as he kept stroking your core achingly slow.

“your pussy looked so tempting and i’m a weak guy baby, you know that.”, he cooed with a fake sorrowful tone and an arrogant smirk on his lips, his middle finger moving now in circles between your folds before the tip went to rub over the little bundle of nerves, a whimper coming out from you right away.

he hooked two fingers of his free hand on the hem of your panties sliding them off and leaving them hang on your left leg, middle finger and forefinger already knuckle deep inside your pussy stroking your walls slowly making cries of pleasure come out from your lips.

after you came all over his fingers and pulled them out, dabi licked your juices off of his digits while grabbing your leg lifting it up over his shoulder as he got onto the couch. he lowered his already low pants and freed his dick from the restriction of his boxers; the villain rubbed his reddened tip in circles on your clit before sliding it long your slit and a second later he had already thrusted into you pushing his pelvis flush against yours.

“hff... fuck– look at how good you’re taking me babygirl...”, he pointed out with an excited smirk on his lips, an hand resting on your lower abdomen as he started thrusting at a pace so erratic that it didn’t let you time to breath.

the way he was pistoning into you made your head spin from the pleasure, every vein that drags along your walls felt simply fantastic and made you unable to stop moaning his name, while he looked down at you with scrunched up face letting out groans whenever your pussy clenched around his shaft.

dabi’s hand gripped tightly your thigh pushing it a little more towards you rising slightly on his knees and angling higher his hips, he then started to pound harder into you hitting a spongy spot inside your cunt that made you let out an high-pitched moan while resting an hand on his chest when he bend down to kiss you.

after few more thrusts that kept on hitting that spot, you held onto the border of the couch arching your back coming all over his dick calling his name in a loud whine as your eyes stared into the boy’s ones lovestruck, which made him grunt a satisfied smirk at you.

“want me– ngh– to fill you up princess?”, at your energetic nods he giggled amused, then stilling inside of you after few more powerful thrusts that slapped hard against your pelvis he spilled white hot ropes all over your walls making you bite down on your lip, while his eyes rolled at the back of his head as he let out a throaty groan.

when you two came down from your respective highs, he looked down at you panting hard before sitting up and pulling you with him, it was then that his dick hit your cervix out of nowhere making you shudder in pleasure:

“since you’re tempting me again, don’t get mad when later you won’t be able to stand and go buy groceries.”, he taunted smiling at you cocky, before kissing your lips voraciously.

[borathae]

↳ Index [Snippet #49 - Appreciate]

"When Jungkook shows you his appreciation."

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: he is the best husband ever <3, he tells her all the reasons why she is the best <3, like i love him so much

Wordcount: 1.7k

a/n: this is based on anonie's request it may have taken me almost four months to get to it, but here it is JFADJSF tbfh it still fits thought because ogc!kookie appreciates women each day 24/7 365 😌 have fun besties, he's the cutest 🧡

You are eating lunch with your employees when Jungkook enters the restaurant. Dressed in a black compression shirt and white baggy pants. Quite frankly, he is the yummiest snack currently present in the room.

“Hey there”, he greets you and your employees with a big grin and a wave of his hand.

“Hey, Kook.”

“Hello.”

“Heyo.”

They greet him back. Marika, your cook, jumps up to get something for Jungkook but the latter stops her.

“It’s fine, keep eating. I’m not here for lunch.”

“Everything alright?” you ask him, leaning in when he kisses your cheek.

“Yeah, everything’s coolio”, he assures you, giving you an innocent shoulder rub as he talks, “wanna come to the studio after work?”

“Sure. Why?”

“Surprise.”

“Wait. Really?”

“Yeah”, he smirks playfully and steps back, “I won’t tell. See you later”, and with that, he leaves the restaurant again.

You watch him hurry back to his studio just across the street. 

Your restaurant and Jungkook’s tattoo studio are located by one of your town's main roads, but are separated by a calmer side road with parking possibilities and palm trees on each side. Jungkook eats lunch in your restaurant on most days and sometimes you visit his studio to bring him coffee. Jungkook also gets all the snacks and drinks for his customers from your restaurant and sometimes, you sweet talk your customers into checking out his studio. Truly, you and he are the perfect symbiosis. 

The rest of your shift is filled with excited anticipation. Jungkook’s surprises are always so special and sweet. You cannot wait to find out what the cute romantic has prepared in his studio. Or perhaps mister horny made the plan. No matter the outcome, you are down for it.

You close up at seven because it was a quiet day and you quite frankly, couldn’t wait any longer.

After checking the road twice, you cross it and then you are already at Jungkook’s studio. He drew the curtains and turned his sign to closed. On other days, you would use your spare keys to enter, but you never know. Maybe he is still working hard on the surprise. You wouldn’t want to ruin it. So you pull out your phone and dial his number. Calling him is honestly the only sure way to reach him. Your little chaotic introvert of a husband always forgets to check his messages. You are not excluded from this rule. 

“Are you here?” Jungkook’s picks up as expected.

“Yup, I’m here. Can I come inside?”

“No, I’m coming.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.”

The call ends, moments later the door unlocks and opens. Jungkook is still in the same clothes, but is wearing cologne. His masculine, clean scent hits your nose instantly.

“Wow, you smell amazing”, you greet him by burying your nose in the crook of his neck.

Jungkook laughs, patting your butt.

“Hello to you too.”

You inhale vividly, “sorry”, you step back, “I had to. You smell so sexy.”

“I put it on for you.”

“Mhm, you’re seducing me. That shirt is doing the rest”, you say, rubbing his pecs aggressively.

Jungkook laughs, stopping you with gentle fingers around your wrist.

“You’re already horny and I haven’t even shown you the surprise yet.”

“Right. Sorry. God Kook”, you slap his pecs softly, “that’s what happens when you tell me you’ve got a surprise for me but then let me wait for a day.”

Jungkook laughs, “I just wanted to make sure that you’re coming over today.”

“I seriously need to know. What did you do?”

“Okay so”, Jungkook begins, taking your hand to lead you to the back of the studio. He locks the front door before that. 

Jungkook has his tattoo chair and office in the back. Another set of curtains shields it from the front area of the shop. 

Today, he has your favourite record playing and seems to only use the mood lights.

“As you may know, today is international women’s day and I wanted to do something special for you because you’re my woman.”

“Today’s international women’s day?”

“Yeah.”

“Crap. I didn’t know. If I knew, I’d have given my girls a little something.”

“Just do it tomorrow”, Jungkook assures you and gestures to the sofa, “now. Sit, my lady. I have prepared something for you.”

You let him sit you down, watching him hurry through the room. 

“What did you do?”

“Something”, he says, carrying a silver tray back to you. He bows, “for you, me lady.”

He prepared your favourite cocktail and some snacks.

“Oh? Gosh, thank you”, you accept them with a giddy flutter in your chest.

“Cheers”, he says.

“Cheers”, you say, clinking glasses with him.

“To women. You girls are so badass.”

“God, you’re cute.”

“Heh. Now, let’s get started”, he says and hurries to his notebook.

“That wasn’t the surprise yet?”

“No. This was just the starter”, he says, making you laugh.

“Okay then.”

“Are you comfy?”

“Yeah.”

“Nice”, he says and turns on his projector. 

“Ten reasons why you are a badass woman?” you read the title of the presentation he projects onto the wall.

“Read the subtitle too.”

“Hell yeah! You rock!!” You laugh. “God Kookie, what’s all that?”

“My presentation. Ten reasons why you are a badass woman. Okay so reason number one”, he switches the slides.

There are pictures of you and Bam. They are all candid pictures of moments where you had no idea that Jungkook was taking pictures of you.

“Oh my god, what is all that? Bamie, our Bamie.”

“Number One. You are the best mom ever”, Jungkook says and switches slides.

The new slide is filled with cute doodles of Bam, you and Jungkook with lots of hearts scared in between. Jungkook wrote in child-like letters the words “Best Mom ever!” to make it seem as if Bam wrote them. He even drew a doodle of Bam giving you a kiss on the cheek underneath.

“Oh my god, this is so cute”, you gasp, already feeling tears well up in your eyes.

“As you can see, Bam also participated. He wrote this”, Jungkook says, pointing at the letters.

“I’m so thankful for Bamie, wow”, you play along gladly. You have the best husband ever.

“Reason number two.” He switches slides. Pictures of you at the restaurant. They are clearly made with a professional camera and show you working hard. The editing and lighting makes you look so fucking beautiful. 

“Is that why you were at the restaurant with a camera once?” you gasp.

“Yeah.” He nods his head. “Reason number two. You are the coolest restaurant owner ever. You work so hard and built all of this from nothing.” He switches slides, reading the words he wrote. “Most hardworking queen!!” He even added doodles of him giving you various thumbs-ups.

“Kookie, god you”, you get out and stand up so you could hurry to him. You hug him, “you’re so cute.”

“Okay, but seriously though. You have to sit down again. I have so many more reasons to present.”

You laugh, “I don’t know if I can keep going. This is the cutest thing ever. How long did it take you to make this?” 

“A while. It was fun. Wanna see more?”

“Of course I do. Gosh, you.” 

After you settled again, Jungkook continues with the presentation. He shows off pictures you have never seen before and they each show you in such beautiful light. Pictures of you on your bike he took during various breaks you shared on your many adventures. Pictures of you with your friends laughing and smiling and hugging. Pictures of you at the beach partaking in various activities or lounging in the sun. Pictures of you in the garden, the house and on various dates. You weren’t even aware that Jungkook took so many pictures of you and how incredibly beautiful you look through his eyes. He follows up each picture slide with a slide of doodles and a cute handwritten message. And to make matters even more emotional, the reasons are so thoughtful. They go from light-hearted reasons such as “you tell the funniest jokes”, to serious reasons such as “no matter what happens, you always stand back up”. He knows you so well, allowing you to see yourself in lights of gold and glitter.

By the time Jungkook finally reaches the last slide, the tears run down your cheeks.

You sniffle and sob as you clap.

“Baby, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?” Jungkook gasps, hurrying to you as quickly as possible to cradle your cheeks and wipe your tears.

“This, this is the sweetest thing ever. I, I feel so appreciated”, you stutter, forcing a smile, “thank you so much.”

“God, sweetie”, Jungkook goes in to litter your face with kisses, “it’s okay. I’m here.”

“I’m so happy you are. Fuck”, you chuckle, “you got me crying like a baby. This is the cutest surprise ever.”

Jungkook laughs with you, rubbing your cheeks.

“I meant what I said. I didn’t have to think a lot for my reasons because I already had them prepared. You’re seriously such a perfect person and even more perfect woman and I wanted you to see yourself the way I see you.”

You meet his eyes, squeaking out your words because he got you emotional.

“I feel so beautiful.”

“You are beautiful, my sweetie. Inside and out. Everything about you.” He smiles fondly. “I’m so happy to have you in my life. Seriously.”

“I’m happy to have you in my life”, you say and smile at him, “god, you doofus. If I knew that you’d make me cry so much, I’d have worn my waterproof makeup.”

Jungkook laughs, wiping the messy streaks under your eyes.

“You look pretty like this. Now. May I interest you in another cocktail and perhaps a relaxing massage on the tattoo table, me lady?”

“At the same time?” you joke.

He laughs, “I was thinking more of cocktails first and massage second.” 

“You are actually the cutest person ever you know.”

Jungkook grins and stands up to prepare another drink for you and him. Needless to say, you and he share the rest of this special day doing something incredibly wonderful. Truly, your husband will always make you feel so loved and in return, you love him eternally.

[applesooyoung]

🥛 anon tuning in once again.

my enha juice is worn out but honestly threesome with sunoo and jay? jungwon qdded to the mix later? he catches them in the act and he can't help but get hard seeing his members being treated like that, he wanted to be treated like that too.

and he gets caught 😇

(ps, can we talk about how hot they are in the teasers? just murder me why don't you)

🥛 Anon this is freaky omg but I get you yep 👀 what you're about to read is very nasty and all I can say is you're welcome pookie. Ify with those teasers Ramyeonz had in chokehold since dilemma era it's not funny anymore (I fw unc jay in that 2nd pic >>>>)

. . — headcanon ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ PLEASE REBLOG! spam likes = blocked .˚ ꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆ ✶

BACK TO: [ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 / 𝐧𝐚𝐯 ]

OK OK Let me start off by saying Jay enjoys DOMMING. Put the knives down, I'm not done yet. Yes, he definitely enjoys being in control, and in fact, he loves taking over Sunoo's mind and body. He's a control freak at this point but as soon as he sees- no, senses your presence, that dominance in him? EVAPORATED, gone, missing, and nowhere to be found. He's that down bad.

Sunoo on the other hand is just a goddamn actor with a script that he has memorized over and over again. You think those innocent eyes and gentle sugar-coated words of his are real? You sure? It's all just an act and you have fallen into one of the fox's tricks. Beneath that innocent mask is a face of a brat who just wants to be fuck 24/7 365. He loves to tease you, Jay, and everyone else that he wants attention from and he will not stop until he gets what he wants and he's satisfied.

The two would be in between your legs and in leashes, they're competing who's better at tongue fucking you, you could see them aggressively nudging each other so they can have better access to your dripping cunt. Just then, you could see a pair of shocked and desiring eyes peeking through the barely opened door... Yang Jungwon, the soft and gentle one. "Jungwon, come in" you commanded as he hesitantly walked inside all flustered and hard.

Next thing you know, pretty Wonnie is getting pegged and your lips lustfully latched onto his while the two on your side, moaning like dogs in heat as they fuck each other with the double-ended dildo you stuck on both of them together with a cockring on max speed; all snug at the bases of their leaky and needy cocks. While you're at it, you can hear shuffling at the door, it's just Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon trying to peek at your little show as soon as Jungwon comes in. They tried their best to suppress their moans while touching themselves, what a bunch of idiots.

© applesooyoung

[heyftinally]

i love bitching about taylor swift and im glad that the new album is causing some more people to realize she isn’t a good writer or person

Honestly, if she was a less shit person and less shoved down our throats 24/7/365, I wouldn't even care as much that her writing sucks. There are countless musicians who can't write for shit.

But if Taylor Swift is going to have the entire fucking world in her chokehold, then I'm going to hold her accountable for AT THE VERY LEAST not actively being a piece of shit.

If she wants to keep writing shitty lyrics, fine. Karma is a stupid song, and she has the right to write stupid songs.

But she does not have the right to profit off of marginalized communities while actively causing harm to those communities. She doesn't have the right to ignore a genocide, date a racist, be friends with a transphobe, and still call herself an ally to those marginalized communities that her relationships harm. She doesn't have the right to live her life uncriticized when she actively does harm.

And her fans don't have the right to bully and harass anyone who doesn't like her just because they're fucking feral and part of her white woman tears cult.

And before anyone says it: I don't hate Taylor Swift because she's a woman, I hate her because she's a shit person with shit morals who cares for nothing and no one but herself and her money. Her being a woman is irrelevant, and if you think otherwise then you don't know enough about me to have formed that opinion, because I call out shit men constantly, as well, and have for YEARS.

Genuinely, I hope this newest wave of criticism, specifically with her shitty ableist lyrics, starts teaching some of her brainwashed followers that she isn't perfect, and convinces them to use their brains.

Hold her accountable, and if she refuses to do anything of value to make reparations, let her face the consequences. Everyone wants to bitch and cry when Taylor gets a joke made "at her expense" at an awards show, but when she makes a joke out of murder and abuse it's fine?

Nah, absolutely not. I'm not letting that slide. I will hold bigots accountable, because bigotry is never acceptable. I don't care how special swifties think their overrated pop priss is.

[denial-permanente]

What is your new year's resolution 2024? Does it involves Tom's chastity? Or something vanilla for both of you? Just curious.

Honestly, some of you men just do not understand our lifestyle here. We are not the memes on the page... we are a totally vanilla couple in every other respect. My husband being locked up does not figure into anything that we do during our day to day lives. In fact, him being locked has become so "normal and natural" to me that sometimes I don't even acknowledge it when we make love. Him being caged is simply just the way things are. So... there is literally no point in having some kind of NY resolution that involves him being locked. He is literally locked 24/7/365, and his time out of the cage in the last year was really just a few hours. There's literally no way for me to increase that.

My NY resolutions are to lose some weight (😅), spend less money (😂), and try not to stress out over all the church and social events I run (😭). Oh, the same ones as last year!

[that-house]

SATAN’S PERFECT IDIOT OR: POP MUSIC AND THE BATTLE FOR SURVIVAL IN NEW SPACE CITY OR: INVINO VERITAS AND THE DOCUMENTARY TO END ALL DOCUMENTARIES (AND THE WORLD)

To explain why for me, universally-beloved pop sensation Invino Veritas, being drunk on The Every Night Show with Blue Jerry Seinfeld was a bad thing would require copious context that I’m too lazy to give right now, especially when it could be revealed at a more interesting and dramatic time later. Suffice it to say the conversation had started bad, and was going worse.

“is that legal?” asked famous talk show host Blue Jerry Seinfeld, bluely.

“No,” replied famous pop star Invino Veritas (me, in case you forgot), honestly.

We both trailed off into an awkward silence, the sort of silence that two famous people trail off into when one of them confesses to double-parking a private jet in front of the fire escape of an orphanage on live TV, but in my defense building an orphanage near the corner store where I buy my menthols was poor civil planning on their part. Hardly anyone got hurt, anyways.

“While we’ve got you here, would you like to say anything about your upcoming album, Always Read the Fine Print?”

I batted my eyelids coquettishly, my seventeen thousand dollar UltraGlitter eyeshadow emitting enough light to temporarily blind (and in one case, as my lawyers would later tell me, somehow permanently deafen) the audiences at home. “Well, let's just say it’s still a bit of a work in progress.”

Blue Jerry Seinfeld stared at me gormlessly and bluely. As part of his ten year contract with The Every Night Show, he was obligated to stay awake 24/7/365/10, or actually more like 24/7/365.25/10 to account for leap years. It gave him a miserable earnestness that drew his guests in and inspired them to share things they’d never even admit to themselves. He didn’t need that for me, though, because I was drunk.

“I’m actually delaying on purpose,” I continued.

Blue Jerry Seinfeld’s sleepless blue eyes bored into my soul the way a particularly blue soul drill might similarly bore into my soul, only bluer. “Tell me more about that.”

“You see, Blue Jerry Seinfeld, you know how I’m with Morgenstern Records, you know, the record label owned by Lucifer Morningstar?”

“The guy from the bible, right?”

“Yeah. He did porn for a while, too.”

“Yeah. I’ve seen that. Good stuff.”

“Yeah.”

We trailed off into another awkward silence, the sort of silence that two famous people trail off into while thinking about the biblical Lucifer’s penis and its frankly ridiculous proportions. Thirteen inches length, seven inches circumference, by the way. I know you were wondering.

“Anyway, what about him?”

“Yeah, so you know all those stories about how someone makes a deal with the devil, and then they get totally screwed on the wording?”

“I’m familiar,” said the man who was contractually obligated to go ten years without sleeping. He was kind of ugly, now that I thought about it.

“I don’t think you’d really get it, actually,” I said, dismissing his lived experience the same way I dismissed my first butler for not excitedly running to come greet me at the door every time I got home. I mean, it wasn’t in Gerald’s terms of employment or anything but would it really have killed him to go above and beyond every single day? (LAWYER’S ADDENDUM: Gerald MacDonald had a rare and little-known heart condition which would have killed him if he ever felt any excitement or joy, and the depressive spiral he fell into following his termination likely saved his life. You cannot conclusively prove that my client, Invino Veritas, was unaware of his condition or that she specifically ended his employment for any reason other than to protect him).

Blue Jerry Seinfeld bristled in irritation, shaking his venomous quills as if to deter a predator and making a noise that sounded like a blue, be-quilled clone of a 20th century comedian muttering “fucking divas, man” under his breath. “As you were saying,” he said, more audibly and bluely.

“As I was saying, I made a deal with the devil and then I got totally screwed on the wording.”

You know what, to save time, let’s just assume that Blue Jerry Seinfeld does everything bluely going forward, and I can just say that he did a thing and you can add in the word “bluely” yourself, because the way he did it, whatever it was, was undeniably blue. So next paragraph, when I was going to say “‘Much like me and my deal with the studio,’ said Blue Jerry Seinfeld, making everything about him, bluely,” I’ll just say “‘Much like me and my deal with the studio,’ said Blue Jerry Seinfeld, making everything about him,” and you’ll just have to keep this paragraph in mind.

“Much like me and my deal with the studio,” said Blue Jerry Seinfeld, making everything about him. Did you do it? Did you do the thing I told you to do? The super easy thing I literally just told you to do? Here, consult this flow chart:

Yes, I did as I was ordered by pop sensation Invino Veritas: good girl, or whatever you are. Keep it up!

No, I ignored the super easy request of a really hot woman: literally how did you fuck that up. The bar was so low.

“Sure, Blue Jerry Seinfeld. Whatever. Anyway, back to talking about me: so I have a seven record deal with Morgenstern Records, right? And in the last five years I’ve put out six albums, all to incredible critical and financial success. Selling my soul to the devil was the best decision I ever made.”

“But…?” said Blue Jerry Seinfeld (don’t forget).

“But… I may have neglected to Always Read the Fine Print. See what I did there? Anyways, it turns out that when the seventh album is done, I go to Hell, and so does everyone who’s ever listened to even a single second of my music.” And of course, due to my incredible popularity and sex appeal, my music is inescapable in New Space City, so every single one of the ten trillion people who live here has heard my music.

“What the fuck? My fucking kids love your music! Oh god! Oh god we’re all going to die! Oh god! Oh cruel and merciless god, all I have ever asked of you is the chance to dream again, and now it seems I will be denied even that!” Blue Jerry Seinfeld was having a panic attack, something famously pretty common in cheaply-made clones. He didn’t even have kids, he just had implanted memories from the 1990s.

It was frankly pretty embarrassing, watching this blue man break down and cry on the floor, and clearly the studio execs agreed. A crack team of clonehunters rappelled onto the stage and shot Blue Jerry Seinfeld until he stopped twitching. The corpse was dragged off stage, and The Every Night Show with Blue Jerry Seinfeld cut to commercial.

The commercial was an ad for dog food, and featured a few scandalously-uncollared dogs dancing at the club to my hit single I Literally Just Killed a Guy (So Let’s Make Out in the Back of a Cop Car), so if there were any dogs in New Space City who somehow hadn’t heard my music, well, they probably were going to Hell now, too.

A few minutes later, they’d defrosted a new Blue Jerry Seinfeld, and rammed an icepick into the part of his brain responsible for feeling fear. “Sorry about that everyone,” said the new Blue Jerry Seinfeld, oozing blue blood from a hole in his eye socket. “So, Invino, you were saying that we’re all going to Hell. I hear it’s nice this time of year.”

“Yeah, pretty much. Of course, if anyone kills me before I finish the album, I guess I’d be the only one to go to Hell.”

Why did I say that. Oh right, the context.

So when I was like, seven years old, I got into a wish-god’s windowless white van because he said he could turn me into a princess. When I told him my name was Invino Veritas, and that I lived at 3243293 Jelq Street, he started laughing.

I asked him what was so funny, and he said that he was going to turn me into a princess but then he had a way funnier idea, and cursed me so that I have to tell the truth as long as I have literally any alcohol in my bloodstream. It didn’t really affect me at the time, but once I reached the legal drinking age of twelve I started losing friends really fast because I couldn’t stop telling people that I thought I was better than them.

Who names their kid Invino Veritas, anyway? Like, that’s just asking for them to get bullied by an omnipotent, kinda pervy deity with a penchant for stupid puns. No one else in my family has a weird name, and still I got singled out for a stupid name-based curse from birth, the assholes. Whatever, I got to channel that rage into my music and I’m over it now. I’m over it.

“Could you say that again, for audiences at home?”

“Sure thing, Blue Jerry Seinfeld. When I finish my next album, every single person and dog and elf in New Space City will be immediately sent to Hell, unless I’m killed before it’s done.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to say, before a swarm of desperate fans looking to avoid eternal damnation storms the studio?”

“Just that I hear your complaints, and I’m listening, and I think I can delay the album for, like a year or two, so you should do whatever you want in the time you have before the world ends. Quit your job. Go on that vacation. Kill a guy and make out in the back of a cop car. Preorder Always Read the Fine Print, because I don’t think I can cash those royalty checks once I’m in Hell.”

“You heard her, New Space City. This has been The Every Night Show with Blue Jerry Seinfeld, and it will continue to be The Every Night Show with Blue Jerry Seinfeld until the world ends or my contract expires.” He turned to me, gripping my arm with the sort of intensity that you only get in freshly-defrosted clones. “You can escape out the back. I’ll hold them off for as long as I can. Good luck out there, Invino.”

Aw, that was actually really sweet of him. “Thanks, Blue Jerry Seinfeld. I’m sorry I called you ugly in my internal monologue.”

“Dying feels like falling asleep,” said Blue Jerry Seinfeld, still not releasing my arm.

“Okay, Blue Jerry Seinfeld.”

“Invino, even when I’m dead I don’t get to close my eyes. The cameras are always rolling.”

“Okay, Blue Jerry Seinfeld.” I tugged my arm free of his grip a little bit, but his grip was like magically-reinforced iron that was way stronger than steel or titanium, but probably weaker than magically-reinforced steel.

“The cameras are always rolling, Invino…”

“I have to go, Blue Jerry Seinfeld.” He let me go, and I sprinted out the back of the studio. Behind me, The Every Night Show with Blue Jerry Seinfeld cut to commercial again, and the screaming started.

[koukouture]

I didn't know you were also a ffxiv fan!! If you have any thoughts on yandere ffxiv characters, I would LOVE to hear them.

Like, zenos is obvious, but I totally have some thoughts on others 👀👀

YES YANDERES YESYESYESYESSSSSSS

Yandere Haurchefant is hopelessly devoted to you. Sure it's not super different from regular Haurchefant who is Down Bad™ for WOL but I think here it becomes more of an obsession. Is he capable of holding you down? No, you're the Warrior of Light for twelve's sake. He couldn't lock you away if he tried. His resolve? Be around you 24/7. And I MEAN 24/7 365 12 months a year. Bro worships the ground you walk on and I really do think he would have joined the Scions if you know... the Vault didn't happen. Having his devotion might be a blessing or a curse, bc he is NOT letting you out of his sight. Attachment issues fr fr. Honestly I don't think he'd do anything super insane. Like yeah he'd kill for you, but he'd do that normally. And he's not doing it just bc he wants to or whatever. If you're ever threatened or god forbid, hurt- someone is going to taste the steel of his blade. Yandere Haurchefant is just regular Haurchefant with a little added insanity and unhinged-ness. Maybe he's extra horny too, bit of a pervert that one.

Now, Yandere Aymeric is giving me many thoughts thanks to this fic called Captivate so though I am a firm subscriber to the idea that literally only Zenos might be able to lock up WOL, I can also make an exception to Aymeric because of this fic. Please read it this changed my feelings for Aymeric. Though, Aymeric locking you up would also require him to have a sadistic streak, which he doesn't really have and this fic itself also feels like an AU where Aymeric actually caved in and became a piece of shit due to his upbringing. However, my personal idea for Yandere Aymeric is that via his political power, he pushes you to be with him. Of course, he only does this if you reject his advances at first. He would 100% find a way to force you in a semi-political marriage with him. Like I said before, no one can hold WOL down, but, he can keep you on a leash. No matter how long, he can always reel you back in if he wants to. I think he would harbor a bit of guilt personally. Like, he knows it's unhealthy, he knows it's hurting you- but he just wants you so damn bad. And he tries to make it up to you with gifts and whatnot, but at the end of the day, your collar, no matter how gilded and comfortable, is still a collar. And the Lord Commander had the leash.

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Being Team Japan’s Manager

Manager is Stressed

Team Japan x GN! Manager (platonic relationship)

Warnings: Manager is feeling stress (I didn’t go into specific stressors because I wanted to make this as general as possible), Stress symptoms (sleep struggles, overthinking, lack of eating/overeating, etc. I tried to keep them neutral but I did have to give a little something), MEGA FLUFF

AN: this is a special request for @rae-is-typing! I apologize if it looks weird, it’s because tumblr hates me and I had to move it all over to word and then back again : D

• Honestly YN, I don’t know how you do it

• Literally, if it were me, I would have had a mental break down the first week of dealing with these idiots

• On the surface, it seems as if you have everything together

• I mean, you not only deal with your life but the lives of countless man-children

• Where as most people’s day starts at 8am and ends around 4-5pm

• You’re essentially on call 24/7, 365

• Literally you can’t even use the bathroom without Hinata or Bokuto knocking and asking what you are doing

• “Hey Yn, are you in there?” Bokuto and/or Hinata say knocking on the door

• You 👉🏻 maybe if I stay quiet they won’t think anyone’s in here….

• Honestly it’s a pipe dream Yn

• Just ignore them YN they will go away…

• Suddenly the door burst open and Bokuto and Hinata are in a full panic

• “OMG YN WE THOUGHT YOU DIED OR WORSE FAINTED!!” Bokuto screamed as Hinata is now hyperventilating

• And thus, the curtains close on your .02 seconds of peace and quiet

• Sakusa comes from beside saying, “you two really need to straighten out your priorities.”

• Then Iwaizumi is coming up yelling at you for leaving the door open to the bathroom 🙄

• You seriously cannot win

• Butalas everyone has their breakpoint YN and honestly I’m surprised you lasted as long as you did

• The Olympics were coming up and you were dealing with your own personal issues in your home life

• Seriously adding more stress to your already stressful life

• You never seemed to have time to do anything

• And you know how they say “things always come in threes”?

• You seriously cannot catch a break!!

• Your stress levels are skyrocking and with stress comes the unfortunate stress symptoms

• Some days you forget to eat while some days you feel like you can’t stop eating

• You’ve so little and yet you feel like you don’t have time to sleep

• The days seem long but yet you can’t accomplish anything 😩

• Honestly it’s just a nightmare

• You choose to suffer in silence, not wanting to bother anyone with your issues

• You know everyone else has problems and you don’t want to be that person to add more to someone else’s plate

• Deep down, you knew it wasn’t healthy to hold it in

• However everyone has their breaking point

• And our amazing YN’s cup has finally ran out

• You woke up feeling exhausted and it was a chore just to get yourself out of bed

• The stress was finally wearing on you and you needed a break

• Thank god tomorrow was the weekend, you just had to make it through today

• You headed to work, already looking forward to the 5pm whistle

• The guys were on their usual bullshit so you knew you’d have very little reprieve

• Yaku was the first to notice something

• “Hey Yn- you look run down?” He says as you look up at him

• “Dang Yn you look like you just got hit by a bus!” Atsumu chimes in

• You 👉🏻😐 thank you for that…

• Unfortunately you have very little time to breathe because Aran and Iwa surround you

• “Hey YN! We need you to get copies of the training schedules out to everyone,” Aran says

• “Yeah and I need you to go through the guys training manuals and replace the old sheets with the updated ones. It has to be done today Yn!” Iwa shouts

• Unwillingly adding more to your already tipped over plate

• “YN I need you to fill up all the volleyballs too,” the coach chimes in

• “Oh and we got a new sponsorship for some energy drink so we need you to make that pronto YN!” Ushijima just throws in there

• Meanwhile, the other dummies are all adding more and more until finally

• You break

• The tears start the flow and everything in your mind blanks as the damn of emotions finally cracks

• Everyone just stares at you, some in confusion and some in horror as you essentially break down on site

• “Hey YN, are you ok?” Aran asks, cautiously approaching you

• You just keep crying while trying to speak

• “N-no e-everything’s not-not ok!” You cry out, “I-I’m so-so T-tired and I-I can-can’t do T-this anymore!”

• The gym is filled with your sobs as the guys slowly began to realize how much they’ve been putting on you

• They have come to rely on you as their support, their go to person

• But they never took the time to check on you

• “Oh Yn, come on, let’s go sit on the bench,” Komori says, grabbing you and hauling you over

• Everyone follows in silence as you try to control your tears and your breathing

• It’s so much at once and all you can think about is how you’ve failed them

• “I’m s-sorry, I-I’ll get to wo-work,” you cry as Sakusa sits down beside you, essentially holding you in place

• “You’ll do no such thing Yn, take a break,” he says as the rest of the team nods

• They all feel horrible for neglecting you and not realizing how much stress you were under

• They just keep piling it on, not knowing the stress you were also dealing with in your personal life

• “YN, we are so sorry,” Hakuba says as the team nods

• “If we would have know Yn, we wouldn’t have been so hard on you,” Bokuto adds

• “It’s oh-ok, I-I need to d-do my j-job,” you stammer out

• “No Yn, you need to take care of yourself,” Iwa says

• “You need a break Yn, a few days off!” Kageyama chimes in

• “Yeah you need to get away from us for a while,” Hyakuzawa says

• Bokuto, Hinata, Atsumu 👉🏻 offended 🙄

• “Guys we have so much to do before the Olympics and I can’t just leave!” You cry out

• “YN if you aren’t going to take care of yourself, then I’m going to haul your ass home right now,” Iwa yells

• You 👉🏻👀 I mean…

• Iwa 👉🏻😐

• “Just take a few days Yn, take some time to rest and we can help you handle everything! I mean we have an entire team of capable men here!” Yaku says

• “I’d say 60% at more are capable,” Sakusa interjects

• Again Hinata, Bokuto and Atsumu 👉🏻 offended 🙄

• “If you think that’s best,” you say, deflated

• “YN we love you and we want you to be healthy! We would die if we didn’t have you cheering us on!” Komori says as the entire team nods frantically

• You sigh in defeat, knowing you need the rest

• “Ok but if you need me, make sure to message me!” You say, leaving the gym

• “We’ll be fine YN! Try to sleep and just breathe or something,” Aran says

• “WAIT YN HASN’T BEEN BREATHING THIS WHOLE TIME?!?” Bokuto screams

• Omg run YN, run while you still can 😂

[venlazlo]

Fields of Mistria Birthday Approximations

Still in an art rut so I calculated all their birthdays on the Gregorian Calendar under the read more for those that like to draw their favorite characters on their birthdays.

edit: compressed into a single image

Also the math isn't perfect so I will list all the flaws in the data and my own calculations at the end but I am pretty confident in what I have managed to achieve so far. The fat chunk of text at the end is by no means required reading but may answer some questions that may arise.

edit: sorry forgot abt Adeline. Shes Jan 26

Jan 1-3 Errol 7-10 Darcy*

Feb 9-11 Hemlock March 11-13 Ryis 31 - Olric

April 1-2 Olric 19-21 March

May 5-8 Luc*

June 4-6 Elsie 17-19 Vera

July 7-9 Balor 13-15 Celine 19-21 Josephine

August 1-3 Eiland 14-16 Nora 21-23 Maple 30-31 Valen*

September 1-2 Valen* 9-11 Landen 16-18 Merri

October 5-7 Reina 12-14 Holt 18-20 Dozy 31 Louis

November 1-2 Louis 7-9 Teritha 20-22 Juniper

December 6-8 Dell 19-21 Henrietta 22-24 Hayden

*The middle date of the range is my assumed option. (i.e Reina is October 5-7 so I'll just assume Oct 6) *This is based on the Northern Hemisphere since it snows in Mistria. Spring 1 translated to our calendar would be equivalent to March 1-4. *There was an extra day that could not be equally distributed so I picked a day that would be ultimately inconsequential. (Feb. 28/Winter 28) Aside from the estimated dates, putting it anywhere else only makes it so Henrietta has one day in Capricorn. and changes the bullet point above. *Darcy, Luc, and Valen have four days while everyone has three bc 365/112 produces a decimal value (3.26) so I evenly distributed an additional day to every 1st, 5th, 9th, 13th, 17th, 21st, and 25th day. >>This decision was unfortunately subjective. As opposed to doing the 4th, 8th, 12th, 16th, 20th, 24th, & 28th which would have affected the following: >>>Vastly increased the list of 4 day estimates to Ryis, March, Balor, Josephine, Eiland, Nora, Landen, Reina, Dozy, Louis, and Hayden. This puts too much guess work on a "center" day >>>Everyone's estimated dates are effectively shifted by -1. >>>March Would still be either an Aries or Taurus without a skew towards either, Maple would be a pure Leo, Juniper would be a pure Scorpio, and Hayden would have one day in Capricorn. >>>Had this been the decision, I would have probably put the extra day into March 1st/Spring 1 purely because the thought to do the days divisible by 4 was an afterthought and I'm too lazy to retype all the numbers and putting the extra day on Spring 1 just realigns everyone with the data presented above.

Thank you for reading!

p.s. if someone can get me Caldarus' birthday bc I have seen that screenshot where he tells you that it is his birthday but it does not show the in-game UI so the date is not visible. There's a random gaming article that lists it as Spring 25(May18-20 Taurus) but I do not trust any of them to do their jobs right honestly.

[sphnyspinspin]

[ INTRODUCTION ]

>> Be mindful that this will be forever under construction and continuously updated <<

Sup!! Welcome to my blog!! I mostly go by Sphny.This is my Transformers fan blog! I usually just draw, write, review, and reblog about stuff that I like.

Some I, admittedly, like more than others when it comes to this franchise’s wide array of options. These are just the ones that take up larger capacities of my headspace 24/7/365. Hell, this isn’t even all of them.

| Transformers: ONE — AHHHHH THIS MOVIE CHANGED MY LIFE FUNDAMENTALLY—I will never be the same because this movie is such a masterpiece the art, the animation, the writing—OMG THE WRITING—I’m so happy that I was able to see it while in the fandom.

| Transformers: Rescue Bots — Good God, this show was like the very first layer of my TF hyper fixation—not my biggest fixation just my first.

| Transformers: Rescue Bots Academy — THIS SHOW is my biggest fixation it’s so cute and wholesome and clever and fun it is such a good show I love the characters so much.

| Transformers: Robots In Disguise (2015) — Hear me out, this show is actually kinda funny in a non-ironic way I promise, and the designs aren’t half bad.

| Transformers: Prime — Amazingly alien, and I say that with the upmost adoration I can muster, because OMG I seriously regret not appreciating the art and character designs in this show (I hate noses on transformers now).

| Transformers: Cyberverse/Transformers Bumblebee Cyberverse Adventures — PLEASE—this show is AWESOME, I praise it for the characters, the story, the character designs, the animation, the EVERYTHING (this is where I personally think Soundrod first originated).

| Transformers: Earthspark — This show, oh my god, I have a love-dread relationship with it; it has so much care-free positivity, an adorable group of characters, nice designs with world-building being amazing so far, but I know for a fact it will destroy me sooner or later (P.S. it already has).

| Transformers: Animated — This show SHOULD be more popular, and it’s the main reason I have my artstyle today (and please don’t bully me but when I found out my fave characters dies I stopped watching….. like immediately………. I didn’t even finish season one.

| Transformers: Botbots — This show… Where do I begin… Oh right, literally the TF fandom parody—like I know for a fact that 85% of the characters’ personalities are inspired by random TF tumblr posts, you can’t deny that.

| Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye — I have read zero TF MTMTE comics and I never plan to, because I would actually die from dehydration after crying so much; but the fandom makes me laugh and I like the art.

| Transformers: Lost Light — I have only read three issues of this series—#23, #25, and #27, because they were the only ones available to me (and fyi for in-between comics I just read the TFWikis).

| Transformers: Last Bot Standing — HOLY SHIT—This made me so… so very sad, and at the same time I was ABSOLUTELY INSPIRED, the premise was amazing and the characters were awesome (oh and uh, I didn’t read the actual comics I just read the TFWikis… again).

| Transformers: IDW (2005/2019) — Okay, okay, I might’ve read a few IDW comics but trust me when I say this—I LOVE reading about IDW’s take on Transformers, I’m forever in awe of its storytelling and fandom.

[ ABOUT BLOG ]

#sphny arts (𖦹w𖦹)•*°⊹ is my main tag for all of my original art

#sphny reblogs (𖦹Q𖦹)•*°⊹ is my main tag for any and all reblogs

#sphny speaks (𖦹<𖦹)•*°⊹ is my main tag for small IRL commentary

#sphny answers (𖦹0 𖦹)•*°⊹ is my main tag for when I answer any asks from my ask box

[ DNI ]

Do Not Interact with me, or this blog if you’re an advocate for: Homophobia, Transphobia, TERFs, Sexism, Racism, Proshipping, or Ableism etc.

[ ASK BOX ]

Asks about my art, writings, WIPs, and reviews are very appreciated, I’m honestly not the best at answering them right away, but they’re still appreciated nonetheless.

Requests for art or writing aren’t usually what I like to receive in my Ask Box casually, so in the nicest way possible I will reject any Requests I get from Asks, unless I make it very apparent that I’m opening/seeking Requests.

[ SIDE BLOGS ]

@transformers-bold-bright-brisk is my Transformers-Fan-Continuity blog that I’ve been using for my AU side project(s): Transformers: Roll Call Rescue Recruits and Transformers: Reach Out To Reassemble.

[ SOCIAL MEDIA ]

BLUESKY @sphnyspinspin.bsky.social — I’m loving the vibes here in general 10/10 would recommend to chat in.

CARA @sphnyspinspin — I haven’t used this in a bit, but I like it so far.

TIKTOK @sphnyn23 — I literally only have three TikToks uploaded and they are cringe, please don’t bully me.

INSTAGRAM @sphnyspinspin — I deleted EVERYTHING on here, and I’ve mostly been using it to “interact” with other artists whose main platform is instagram.

[neonmetro]

Hey chat I'm sick and the day is definitely not going as well as I thought it would so. . .I ever so kindly beg for a Uly. . .

Honestly this guy needs an award because he is working a full time job in my head with no breaks !!!! Like this man can't even call out sick. . .it's so cute. . .the silly ever. Honestly I think this is going to be Ulysses appreciation because what makes someone feel more better than talking about some silly blorbos. . . NOTHING !!!

He's so pathetic and awful I love it. . .

*slams fist on table* GET ME ALL THE ULYSSES YOU HAVE !!!! STAT !!! /SILLY

-Ulysses loving anon

IT TRULY IS A 24/7 365 DAY JOB HAVING ULY IN YOUR BRAIN THAT GUY JUST INFESTS YOUR GOD FORSAKEN BRAINWORMS!!!!!!

he truly is just. absolutely tired and done with everything. life is just dull without Her, and without Her, he is noman.

i was actually talking about his gender w a friend semi recently and its really interesting part of him... most of his identity really does align with traditional masc expectations, wanting to protect those closest to him and be able to support a family and he's essentially just a trans straight guy but his relationships with sapphics is just different. he doesn't sees them as another facet to himself or a missing piece (even though literally everyone he was close to has died and its his fault he doesn't think he's less of a man gender wise he just doesn't think he's a human period (tho his it pronoun doesn't derive from this. to be clear))

ALSO. pivoting to his friendships. he, polites, and eurylochus have matching hair ribbons...

when polites dies, eurylo takes it while uly takes his out. he can't pretend he deserves it now after what he's done to polites, and eurylo is like "ah... i'll take it for safe keeping, if you ever think you want it again."

NOW. ONTO MINVERVA. IT GETS FUCKED.

the founding purposefully have kids and champions that aren't apart of the founding's bloodline just so they can later use their souls to fuel the palladium to keep their powers/immortality. and they Want contracts w other people so they'll be able to provide better powers/last longer. so having multiple champions, like in the case of minerva (ulysses and diomedes), isn't unusual, its just "efficient"

isn't it fucked that he was slated to be a pig sent to the slaughter and the only way to get out of that fate is to butcher his friend first. isn't that crazy (the friend being minerva or polites is up to audience interpretation)

his relationships with his kids are also really fucked.

telemachus obv is the closest with him and he actively tries to talk to him the most. but also his feelings on his dad are weird. on one hand he's PISSED at him for leaving him and his mom alone and making him suffer so much just because he wasn't there physically or emotionally causing so much repression. but on the other, if he doesn't loves uly, who will? he kind of feels an obligation as uly's oldest kid to set an example for the rest of them for how they should feel about their father.

because telegony (their name is actually telegony but i'll tag them as telegonus bc i don't want to tag that god forsaken book) absolutely DESPISES ulysses. joined enosichthon corp. out of spite. rose through the ranks. out of spite. intruded on a picnic w/ uly and telemachus. out of spite. they spent the absolute least amount of time with their father and it shows. they hate ulysses with all their guts and ulysses just accepts it which makes telegony even *angrier*.

nausinous spent a lot of their childhood with ulysses, so they have a sort of attachment to him... they don't hate them but they see how their half sibling reacts to him and wishes to just... not have him kill himself in front of everyone.

ANYWAYS THAT'S YOUR DESIGNATED ULY CONTENT !!!!! I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON BTW...!!! (ik this is late... hopefully you feel better soon tho ^^)

[doodle-storm]

Pokemon and Hunter x Hunter (with the help of @iwritenarrativesandstuff)...Part 3...after a billion years! I've also finished the anime at this point (yippee!) Thank you again for your input friend and encouraging me to be more active on tumblr. Wing: Tranquil (Ordinary looking birb for the for the ordinary looking guy with the birb related name. ) Zushi: Kubfu (Kid wears a gi 24/7, 365 and you can't change my mind. Kubfu is also a tiny little karate child that happens to look like a bear. It was agreed that they'd get along great.) Gido: Claydol (He spin, Claydol spin.) Sadasso: Dusknoir (He'd probably have a big scary-looking ghost.)

Riehlvelt: Electrivire (Not sure if this one's a stretch, but Electrivire has those ...antennae(?) things that are kinda like the electric whips Riehlvelt uses.)

Kastro: Ninetales (Honestly...it just looks a pokemon he'd have. They're both majestical as fuck.) Cocco: Jigglypuff (Person in voice related profession has pokemon that also uses voice. They'd feed off each other's energy.) Nostrade: Mabosiff (Mabostiff is kinda a family man. Nostrade is a bit of family man, if profiting off his kid's nen ability counts...then yeah.)

Neon: Gothitelle (Pokemon that can see the future for the girl who can also kinda see the future. It also matches her love of creepy/unsettling shit). Baise: Liepard (Purple girl boss cat for the purple girl boss).

Squala: Granbull (I don't know...I just think they'd be buddies.) Shachmono: Shuppet (Almost forgot this guy existed. This is the clostest thing to his nen.)

Melody: Whismur (They would go on musical adventures!)

Zepile: Polteagiest (Polteagiest has two forms; a phony form and an antique form. Since he buys back his counterfeit work, maybe he collects the phony ones).

Zenji: None (Honestly, I couldn’t think of anything. Sorry to the 2 Zenji fans.)

Worm: Orthworm (Worm for the worm guy).

Leech: Eeletrik (This is the clostest thing to a leech I think.)

Rabid Dog: Lycanroc - Midnight form (They can be rabid together).

Porcupine: Sandslash (Closest thing to a porcupine.)

Owl: Noctowl (You guessed it, owl for the owl man. Also Rowlett is too cute for the mob.)