#honestly its probably a good thing i dont have a big enough attention span to actually get into the Deeper Lore of transformers

[scattered-winter]

WINTER. i need to you know that you talk about the things you love with such joy and enthusiasm and excitement that it makes me want to be excited about them too, even though i know literally nothing about them. anyway congrats on the michael-bay-less transformers movie <333

LMAO I'M GLAD IT BRINGS YOU JOY <3333333333

the truth is I have ,,, sooo many mixed feelings about transformers. like. it's part of a much bigger universe filled with lore and it's like. star wars or dc comics-sized. and I simply do not have room in my brain for ANOTHER comics-sized media because that would be. too much. so I just forced myself through the worst movie franchise in history to cherry-pick things that I liked from it and made up everything else. <3

but like. first of all my inner 8 year old goes absolutely buckwild for transformers. they're GIANT ROBOT SUPERHEROES!!! that can TURN INTO CARS!!!!!!! and sometimes they have SWORDDSSSS!!!!!!!!! and as much as I can't stand the movies, the cgi with the transformations is soooooo <3333333333333333 and the transformer designs are all soooo cool too !!!!!!!

and the thing that really gets me about the transformers movies is that they have SO MUCH POTENTIAL to not only make inner 8 year old me the happiest guy on the planet but to also tell a very compelling story!!!! the autobots were forced from their home planet and most of their race was killed by the war that tore their planet apart!!!! all that's left of this once powerful race of incredibly powerful beings is a small handful of exhausted soldiers who are hiding out on earth because they're being hunted all over the galaxy!!!! and even after losing everything, they all still decide to fight for earth and protect humanity from the same fate that took their families, their people, and their entire planet away from them!!!!!!! I'm literally biting !!!!! and after setting up that premise michael bay just. didn't follow through. and the movies are filled with utter bullshit storylines and every autobot's personality gets completely rewritten every single movie because the entire plot revolves around michael's bland self insert characters. the movies are soooooooooo bad but they could be sooooo good and that's my entire mental illness about transformers summed up in a single sentence.

but anyway. I don't know anything about the director of the new movie or if they're any good, but the only way they could be worse than bay is if they let a toddler keysmash on a typewriter <3 I'd even argue that'd be a BETTER alternative than michael bay's directing <33 but anyway. I don't like how optimus looks in the trailer because like I said, the transformer designs in the bay movies are, unfortunately, really really cool. and the new movie seems to have taken optimus' original design like in the toys and old cartoons, which is FINE but also ,,, I miss catboy optimus :(

like. say what you will about the og movies but they sure could design an autobot !!!!!!!! optimus just looks so ,, boxy in the trailer. and I definitely prefer his other design. but honestly I'd rather have a shittier-looking optimus without bay than a badass-looking optimus with him. so.

I'm overall very very happy with how bumblebee looks though <3333 but to be fair he's my silly little guy skrunkle gal pal so whatever he does will always have me giggling and twirling my hair <333 he has never done anything wrong in his life <33333333

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[zodiacrant]

Stereotypes explained:

Sagittarius

Bites more than they can chew: Sagittarius loves to explore and wants to learn from things but they prefer to go to the top and all the way instead of going slow and learn. So say if they play a new video game they’ll skip the tutorial and play the game on the highest level.

Word vomiting and doesn’t know their place: Sagittarius have a sense of ideals that people may not understand but they apply, so say they heard you talk about someone then in front of that someone you were acting nice they get angry because they feel lied to and manipulated. Sagittarius believes in the hard bitter truth over the sweet lies so they won’t change that just because you don’t feel so, however like any person they can violate other people’s space or privacy but they’ll understand and respect you if you tell them off.

They live in their own world in their head and think everything in there is the same as the entire world logic: aren’t we all? Expect they don’t shy away from it and may over confidently voice it.

Capricorn

Emotionless and cold: “the most ruthless were the most kindest “, something I believe is the case with many earth signs and especially Capricorns. It may seem like they don’t care but it’s mostly a defense mechanism which they use to make sure you’ll go all the way for them so they’ll show you their more intimate self.

Workaholics: Capricorns May be driven towards success but not all their goals and dreams are academic or typical kind of jobs. It may seem to some that all they care about is work but they just want to fulfill their dreams.

Boring: I never understand why some people describe a whole sign as “boring”. Just because they don’t want to party every night or sneak out at night or skip school doesn’t make someone boring. Just because they don’t want to do what you wanted or them having different interests doesn’t make them boring.

Aquarius

Would do anything to be different: we all want to be different in way or the other, however it seems this stereotype comes from either a place of misunderstanding or envy. Aquarius tend to have a lot of eccentric and bold appearance and very off the wall ideas so they tend to be interested in unconventional things like art, which lead them to be quite competitive and frustrated with people not understanding them or people trying to be “cool” by being unconventional and eccentric.

Doesn’t care about anything or anyone: it may come off as such but Aquarius cares a lot actually, from people who drive crazy to those who dont say thank you when you open the door Aquarius cares about a lot of things and how they affect the world and the bigger picture so it may not look like it but they very much do.

Uncompromising and doesn’t give people a second chance: Aquarius expects people to deliver when they ask them for something or they’re working with them, they up hold themselves and others to a standard where they have to make it work or not do it at all.

Pisces

Always daydreaming: I don’t know about this and I have never known a Pisces that daydreams a lot but I have met those who forget a lot, so for as far as I know they might be trying to remember something.

Weak and a sensitive snowflake: Pisces can be sweet but calling someone weak because they’re kind or considerate is a cheap shot.

A stoner: really! Do I need to explain why this one is wrong.

Aries

Angry and short tempered: Aries is a very chill person and if you see them angry often that means they either love you so they show you their emotions or hate you and you piss them off often

Strong headed and likes to be the best: as a cardinal sign Aries is prone to be competitive and wanting to win, however, it doesn’t necessarily means that Aries would tear people to be the best and that they have to. I don’t find being strong headed as a bad thing, I find as an asset that needs to be controlled.

Bullies and dictators: a very disgusting stereotype that was put on Aries, some would even hold them accountable for certain actions that were made by a certain asshole. Stop.

Taurus

Lazy and loves to eat a lot : one of the zodiacs most known stereotype, I actually find it very funny that a very hard working sign get to be called lazy for loving to relax, Taurus is a sign of habit but that doesn’t mean they sit on their ass eating all day in matter in fact most of the Tauruses that I know ended up being successful at a younger age and got their shit together earlier and faster than their counterparts so I find it quite ridiculous.

Hates change and rigid: Taurus is a very stable sign and get very comfortable when they’re happy in their position, however you haven’t lived until you saw a Taurus change up, they changed completely and I mean completely and I am not only talking hairstyles but also friends and styles and even jobs. Yes they hate change but when they do it’s like taking the ground and flip it upside down.

An asshole towards others and doesn’t respect other opinions: as a fixed sign Taurus doesn’t take apposition very lightly, but unless they ask you for your opinion they really don’t want to hear it and unless you’re better than them at that certain thing then they’ll never going to take your advice and move on and I actually like that about them.

Gemini

Always talks and doesn’t shut up: here we’re at the most hated sign. Gemini’s have a very quick yet short term thinking span so when they get excited or talk about something they let it all out so they won’t forget about it or get over, and personally I love someone who can hold a conversation with anyone since I find it difficult myself.

Two faced and cheaters: we need to pump the brakes on this one because it’s very disgusting to call someone these things because of their sign and people actually made a sport out of making fun of Gemini’s. Gemini loves to fly and doesn’t like to be stranded and settle when they think there’s something better for them and if you’re not then they’ll leave.I have never met a cheating Gemini, all of those that I have met are actually loyal to a fault, they stand up for their friends even when they know their friends are wrong, they even stay in a horrible relationship just because they don’t want to break someone heart and give respect to their relationship.

Liars and make stories up: I think we’re all guilty of adding spice or over exaggerated a certain event to make it more interesting but Gemini’s are terrible liars and that’s why they get caught when they do, however that doesn’t mean they’re all liars just because whoever the fuck said so on their page.

Cancer

Cry babies: Probably second to Gemini on the most known stereotype, I find cancer emotionaly intelligent which most people lack. Emotional doesn’t mean someone who always cry but rather someone who understands their emotions and can describe them very well so I don’t see them crying as weakness but rather a way of relief that I wish I had honestly

Always jealous: cancers are known for their protective behavior and sometimes it may come off possessive and that it comes from a place of Jealousy but they mean well as they tend to be fearful of their loved ones get harmed or hurt. In a relationship a cancer wants to be with their partner and experience things with them so they might have a fit if you’d leave them to hang out with someone else and yes they would be jealous over you since they love however it may come off as very ridcal and immature but if they didn’t care they wouldn’t be a pain in your ass

Insecure: just like with emotions cancers are open about their struggles and tend to express them early on more so than the other signs. Just like any person they might feel not good enough or that they’re a failure and so on, but cancers care a lot about making something to fullest. As a cardinal sign they feel insecurities very often and can’t help but express them since it’s in their nature.

Leo

Narcissistic and self centered: a big misconception about Leo’s that they’re self absorbed, think they’re the best and doesn’t think about anyone else, but actually they feel very much like the worst so they act like the best to help them feel otherwise. As of the narcissistic claims Leo’s might be proud but narcissism requires a whole different kind of doucheness, as a fixed sign Leo’s are stubborn and might come off as stuck up but it’s just their confidence and big personality.

Lazy and big procrastinators: like the lion Leo’s have their ways, they love to sleep and eat and chill but when it comes down to it they turn it out and go all the way.

Must be the queen B and demands attention: this one is very stupid in its self because they associate mean girls from movies to Leo’s and I honestly have no words

Virgo

OCD: this is a mental illness and many people get offended by this whether they’re Virgos or someone who actually suffers from OCD, and I don’t tolerate such insensitivities and inconsiderate behaviors.

Stuck up: this might come from Virgos love for success, as an earth sign Virgo might come off insensitive and monotoned but it’s just how they’re and they don’t mean it to come off as such , since all earth signs value work and this might be seen since they have a confident attitude.

The mean kid in school: just because they associate signs with certain movie stereotypes that doesn’t make it applicable to a whole sign.

Libra

Whores: why? No really why? This is very gagging and not in the good way. Just because they love to look good doesn’t mean they’re asking for it.

Manipulative: Libras calm nature and hate for confrontations and loudness make them look manipulative and doing something under the table when all they want is to get out of the situation

Sympathy seekers: Libras are known for their diplomatic approach and because most people are not sometimes they want to feel understood on how they want to be say both of their friends friend but keep out of their drama without looking bad

Scorpio

Any kind of criminal label you could think of: doesn’t need an explanation to see why it’s stupid and unnecessary.

Addicted to sex: sex is a very instinctive thing but we don’t need it. Addiction to sex suggest that there’s a problem hence the word addicted and so also with this I don’t need to explain this besides that people have sex with who they want so mind what’s going on in your pants and you’ll get a significant other instead worrying about others sex life

Satan: .............................what?

So these are all the big stereotypes I know there are more but I wanted the most known and the most disgusting so let me know about other stereotypes and tell me what do you think is the reason behind each stereotype.

(please follow and share your dirt on the signs ☕️. )

[marshmallowprotection]

Oh! I have an idea if you dont mind. Saeran, unknown and Ray with an MC who has a really high pain tolerance? Like, they could have a huge cut on their leg or smt and not even realize it until someone points it out and even when they do shes just like "oh i do... huh." (Sorry if the request is a little odd T^T)

I don’t think it’s all that weird, anon. I don’t really react when I get hurt or anything, either, I just kinda go, “oh, well, time to die.” lol 

Ray + Unknown + Saeran w/ an MC with high pain tolerance. 

Ray

“Um… Oh, goodness, Y/N. You’ve got a cut on your hand. I knew I shouldn’t have let you help me out here, I don’t want your hands to wind up like mine.”

You glanced down at your hands. 

Sure enough, he was right, there were the telltale signs of a cut across the top of your hand. You hadn’t even noticed that something had nicked you, no would you have noticed if Ray hadn’t said anything to you, or at least until the two of you had finished what you were doing. You had really wanted to spend some time with him, and when he mentioned that he had desperately wanted to go to the gardens- 

how could you have said no to that? 

“Y/N?” he repeated himself, worriedly. 

“Jeez, I didn’t even notice, Ray. Haha, s'okay, I don’t really notice things like this anymore when they happen. It doesn’t even hurt. I kind of have a high tolerance for pain.” You smiled at him, reassuringly. “I wouldn’t have even known until later if you hadn’t said anything. It’s alright, I don’t really feel it.” 

You moved to brush some of the dirt and blood away. 

Ray had noticed a few things were out of order and he instinctually wanted to make everything look nice for you! Of course, you weren’t the type to let anyone do something without lending a hand.

In the midst of helping him, you must have brushed against a patch of briars. It wasn’t impossible, just the quickest answer that you could reach as you wracked your brain for answers for how you had gotten hurt this time. If anything, you kind of wanted to make yourself feel a little more independent than the soft princess Ray had been convinced you were. 

So much for that.

There was a small frown on Ray’s face. He shook his head, mumbling underneath his breath, “No, no, this isn’t how this should be.”

“Ray?” 

“Y/N,” he said suddenly, catching you off guard. 

“Um, yes?” 

“Let me take of that for you.” His green eyes met yours for a moment but like usual, his gaze dropped to the side, or to the ground immediately after his courage had died down. “Please? I’m the one that got you hurt in the first place so I need to take responsibility for this and make sure that you’re okay. I’m sorry, Y/N. Please, let me do this for you and then I’ll be off for the night.” 

You stared for a minute and then shook your head. “It’s not your fault, Ray, I did this to myself, I’m just kind of clumsy. I’ve told you that before so don’t blame yourself for it.” 

He was quiet. 

Often as he was when he thought he caused something bad to happen, and you knew that he was internally blaming himself no matter what you tried to tell him. Which was a shame, because he didn’t deserve to be kicked like that. He did help you get patched back up, but he was nonverbal, and only apologized once again when he was done covering your hand.

“Thank you, Ray,” you told him. 

“…You’re welcome, Y/N,” he mumbled.  

“I mean it. You didn’t have to touch this up for me. I usually don’t do much when I get hurt besides try to clean it up and ignore it if it aches at all and I can feel it. Anyways, haha, it’s really nice to have someone around that cares about me enough to do this, you know?” 

That seemingly perked up his mood a lot. 

His face was flush and he couldn’t look you in the eyes. “I’m... I’m... thank you for saying so.” 

Unknown

“What the fuck? Do you realize you’re bleeding like a waterfall right now? You’re such a careless dumbass, I can’t leave you alone for five minutes before otherwise you trip and knock your head the fuck open on a damn counter. Are you trying to piss me off, or are you really this dense? I honestly don’t even fucking know.”

You blinked.

Sure enough, you looked down and saw the familiar trickle of the red stuff on your arm. How had that happened, anyway? “Oh, looks like I did hurt myself. I guess you’re right,” you said. “I didn’t even notice that I had done it.” 

His eyebrow twitched. “How in the hell did you not notice something that big?”

Well, that was a complicated answer! You hadn’t meant to cause any trouble for him but it seemed like he wasn’t going to budge until you gave him an answer. You hadn’t even thought that you had done anything but it seemed as though your high pain tolerance had caused you some trouble, your body wasn’t immune to pain but it took a lot before you cried or had to take care of something.

It took a lot out of you to make sure that everything was in order in this mess of a room that he called a workplace. You must have hurt yourself tripping over your own two legs at some point and hadn’t even noticed that it had happened. 

“Well,” you started to explain with a weak laugh. “I kind of am immune to pain, it takes a lot for me to feel anything.” 

“Ugh.”

Before you could say anything to get him to elaborate on his sudden attitude, he took you by the hand. You didn’t even wince when Unknown grabbed you by the wrist and carted you away to the bathroom. He didn’t say anything to you, he just took care of your injury and dressed it without a single grunt or complaint, which was rather odd for him, but you weren’t the type to complain about that. 

When he was done, he let go of your limb and took back to examine it. It seemed like he was pretty good at that. You wondered why that was, but it was better not to press him for answers. You had learned that the hard way long ago. 

“Thanks,” you whispered. 

His hardened gaze didn’t waver in spite of those polite words. He just kept that tough stance. “…Just don’t go and do it again, I won’t waste my time on someone who can’t take care of their damn self.” 

The fact of the fact was that he probably would take of it if you didn’t do something again. He said that he wanted people to take care of themselves but he got pissed if they didn’t do it fast and the right way in his eyes. 

However, you weren’t going to say anything about that. 

You just nodded. 

Saeran

“Hey,” he gently chastised. “You’ve gone and hurt yourself. ”

You looked at your leg where you had managed to trip over your own two feet and get a small gash. 

You had thought nothing of it when you were cleaning but now that Saeran pointed it out, it appeared as though you did had a small injury. Well, this was embarrassing.

You patted down the cut and pressed to stop some of the bleeding from seeping any further out of your body; It was nearly dried up but in need of some cleaning. There was a sheepish smile that crossed your lips as you laughed this observation away as if it were nothing more than a small problem.  

You laughed, a little bit embarrassed that he had noticed that you had hurt yourself way before you ever would have. “Oh, I didn’t even notice that, Saeran. Jeez, it’s really bad this time, isn’t it? I really need to start paying more attention to myself before I really wind up getting hurt like this. I’ll go and take care of it, now.”

The look in his eyes was exasperated, as was the worried sigh that left his lips. It was one of those kinds of looks that seemed to say with one single glance: What am I going to do with you?

It had only been a nice day for both of you. That was something that the both of you were due by a long mile as the past few months had been so hectic and chaotic more than a few reasons that could be listed and counted on your fingers. There had been no worries or concerns, but here you had gone and managed to make a mess of yourself and you couldn’t even recall how it had happened this time around. 

Typical, this was the price that you paid for having such immunity to pain and its feelings. 

“C’mon, I’ll help you take care of it, Y/N,” he said. 

You tried to wave him off. It wasn’t exactly pretty and you doubted that he had the stomach for this stuff anymore being so far disconnected from that turmoil. This had the tendency of happening sometimes and you usually took care of it before Saeran could even say something about it. It was normal for you to have bumps and bruises, you just told him you were super clumsy. “I can fix it myself, you know? This sort of thing just kind of happens sometimes. It’s no big deal.” 

“Y/N,” Saeran repeated himself in that familiar tone. He didn’t have to say it. You knew what he was getting at. This relationship was a partnership, even with some of the less conventional and soft things. You didn’t have to walk around eggshells around him; Nor should you have felt the like you had to do the same for him. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll concede. You win.” You smiled, giving him your hand. He helped you get cleaned up within a couple of minutes, and once that was taken care of, it was all spic and span. You were just dinged up a bit, no more than usual, that is. 

“You really should be more careful,” Saeran warned. “I’m more than happy to take care of you when you get hurt, but I hate to see it happen in the first place, Y/N.” 

“Mhm, yeah, I thought that’s what you’d said, I just didn’t want to worry you about nothing, because this just happens sometimes,” you nodded, leaning up to brush your lips against his cheek. “I’ll try to not hide it from you when I do get some bumps and bruises from now on.” 

“It’s not nothing,” he reminded you, “Your feelings and what you’re dealing with is always important, not to just you, but to me as well. So, please, let me into your heart a little more.” 

[performanceteams]

5 pm and its already real emo hours?

ya girl kat is back at it again

*deep sigh*

yep, it seems like i have existential crisisies every damn time before i have a huge assessment (which is all the damn time in this hell forsaken ib program)

i just i dont know like always i feel kinda empty, in fact i’ve kinda felt like this for awhile, not just a sorta sadness but also a kind of tiring emptiness

even when i laugh or smile or im having fun, theres still this kind of underlying sadness or worry at the back of my mind

theres a lot of reasons i feel this way, and i dont think i can pinpoint it on one particular thing or event, but i guess to sum it up i feel like im sort of regressing. I used to have these big dreams of being some lawyer and going to a super legit ivy league, and being successful and happy.

but because of this fuckign program i realised i cant do that, i guess yeah its good the difficulty helped me realise that life is hard eariler than later, but a part of me quite frankly would have prepared 2 more years of blissful ignorance. so like last year i decided no i cant do that i cant take the stress im not smart enough that jist blah blah so i guess i kinda haphazardly decided ummm ill do psychology?? its something im interested in and my friends always go to me when theyre down and im pretty good at cheering them up and i did well on the psych course i took 

but the thing is im so unsure o fgoing into this when all my friends are doing ““successful”“ majors like comscip or engineering or premed. and im not even sure of the major i want to do....

i know my parents say therye okay with it but like the truth is i know they arent. like my dad looked so dissapointede in me when i told him i didnt apply to any buisness schools

what im also scrae dof is doing psych at uni and having the whole being assesed thing make me hate it. nothing kills passion than having it associated with dissapointment and stress

my parents sort of instilled this idea in me that if something isnt useful dont do it. which is causing me a lot of grief and stress rn with the recent intersts and hobbies i have. there around 3 but ill just talk about one right now

languages, since like grade 6 ive been fascinated baout languages, i wanted to learn more and wanted to be those cool polygots. i didnt get that far you konw preteen attention span, i learned the cyrillic alphabet and really basic german in the brief period of time tho

in like grade 11 i spent time (and still am) spending time relearning how to read and write chinese, that wasnt a struggle because well i am chinese and its a DAMN useful language

but then grade 12 (aka me last  2+ weeks) i stumbled upon the langblr community and i remembered the interest and spark i used to have about languages, and i saw so many people and so many RELALY GOOD RESORUCES and i was like wow.

so i was like ugh whatever i guess il download duolingo just to check out the features ill probably ditch it anyway

well two weeks and 100 lingots later... guess i didnt ditch it.... but then like theres this nagging voice in my head thats telling me to stop wasting my time learning french, russian, spanish (and german kinda but i haveent startred that yet) these languages arent going to be useful for my future i should sjust stop im wasitng my time

im wasting my time just like i always do, i waste my time doing meaningless things i wont even be able to speak or read these languages that well ill forget eventually so why am i wasitng my time now?

this voice is just so damn loud and i wish i could tell it to shut up

i wish i could truly enjoy something that makes me happy wtihout thinking im wasting my time and im a loser i really ohenstly dont feel that im good at anything or have any geniune long lasting passion i feel like ill ditch the whole langauges and the other two hobbies soon i just feel like ill continue my cycle of mediocirty

another part of me just wonders if im seeing tthe past through rose coloured glasses, so i went back to read some of my old journals and stuff  and i think with the exception of some periods of time

i was geniunely happier then than i am now

but i also had some unhealthy ideas about myself, interests, and i was kind of unhealthily obsessive over some things, granted i still have some problems with that. but i think the main difference is now i’m aware

and to be frank, being aware im not entirely sure if thats a GOOD thing, in fact it kinda makes my not so good feelings feel worse since im aware.

what is geniune happiness? what is the difference between a hobby or interest that brings true joy or just unhealthy escapism? i dont know well i think i know what the answer might be but its still blury and vague

well from this i think one thing im not that bad is im alright at expressing myself and my emotions, im almost too in tune with myself, but the problem is yes i may be aware yes i may be able to articulate myself. but i dont do anything to change

so my circumstances and my feelings and the general state im always in, i guess its just my fault

i hope to look at this months or a year or maybe even years from now and say i didnt have anything to worry about and that things became better

but then again, maybe in the future ill be saying “wow yo u had it easy, i wish i could go back things are much worse now”

honestly i have way more to say but this already seems to o long so maybe another time i have an exam tmrw anyway