#honestly ill write a sentence and be done with it

[mel-star636]

The demons in me want to make an attempt at Yuri on ice x blue lock lock cross over with a figure skater reader. I know it would be smth beautiful. I just don't know if they're stronger then my commitment issues. I'll also have to rewatch both.

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Seungmin/Minho x F!Reader TW : arguing ; reader feeling unwell ; reader depression (Minhos) ; reader fainting ; reader su**ide attempt (Minhos) ; hospitals ; IV's (Seungmins) ; the boys being jerks honestly (this is obviously not an accurate depiction of them) ; very angsty ; fluff at the end but it's like a sad kind of fluff??? ; Word Count : combined - 6.3k (Seungmin - 2.4k) (Minho - 3.8k) Request : Anonny : Can u write a VERY angsty drabble(?) but with a fluff ending when seungmin/minho argue with reader on how they don't take care of the house and don't let them explain, but the reader was extremely sick and out of the sadness they try to clean and end up fainting, wake up when seungmin/minho come and fluff at the end? A/N : OF COURSE I CAN MAKE IT VERY ANGSTY! THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REQUEST!! I HOPE YOU LOVE IT!!

Seungmin

Seungmin had been staying at the dorms for a while since his schedule was so packed, and usually you’d be begging him to come back home because you missed him, and it’s not that you didn’t miss him, quite the opposite actually. You had gotten ill, and at first, you thought that it was just a minor bug that you’d get over in a couple of days. You didn’t expect for whatever it was to completely take you out of commission, leaving you bed bound for what felt like forever. 

You weren’t the type to whine to anyone about being sick though, especially not Seungmin, not because you thought he didn’t care, you knew that he did, he cared far too much sometimes, and you knew that if you had told him, he’d try to juggle looking after you and taking care of everything at work at the same time and he’d end up just as sick as you. You’d hate to pass whatever it was that you had onto him, and potentially even the other members when they had so much to work on, so you took care of yourself, and honestly, it was easier that way. 

You didn’t know how long he’d be gone for, and you really thought that you’d have more time. Time to get yourself feeling better, time to get healthy enough to get back on the chores that you had abandoned for a bit just to take care of yourself. It’s not like the house was in complete shambles or disarray, there might have been a few dishes in the sink and the rug hadn’t been vacuumed in a few days. There was some laundry that was most definitely building in the hamper, but it’s not anything that couldn’t be started and finished in the span of a few hours once you were feeling like yourself once again. 

“For Christs sake…” You heard Seungmin mutter to himself before you had even registered the sound of the front door unlocking. “It’s a pigsty here. What the hell has she been doing?” He continued to talk to himself as he made his way through your shared apartment, and you could hear the dishes being moved in the sink, rather loudly, only further worsening the headache that you had. Before you had the chance to even get out of bed to explain, he walked into the bedroom, finding you laying down, surrounded by pillows and covered with so many blankets you should be overheating. “Wow!” He exclaimed, shaking his head as his tongue tsked in disbelief. 

“Minnie…” You sighed, trying to push yourself upright, the motion causing your head to spin and your stomach to tighten. “I’ll… I’ll get on the things that need to be done… I just haven’t been feeling well and-” He scoffed loudly, cutting you off mid sentence. “I’m serious… I-” 

He cut you off again, not even letting you finish before he started to talk. “How convenient that you get to lounge around and be lazy while I’m working to pay the bills. All I ask is that you clean up after yourself. You’re filthy.” He spat the last word at you, and if you weren’t so exhausted from being up all night coughing, you might have had the energy to start crying. All you could do though was stare at him, confused and wounded by the words that he threw in your direction. “I’m glad that you thought you could take a vacation though while I’m busting my ass all week.” 

Your head shook quickly, only making you more sick. “That’s not… I’m not on vacation I’m… I don’t feel good… I’m so tired and… I think that maybe I should-” He laughed loudly, although the sound was more sarcastic than anything. It had you wanting to sink down into the mattress, disappear into the thick foam and hide away from him. 

“You think I’m not tired? I shouldn’t have to come home thinking I can finally relax after working for a whole week and then have to clean up after you.” He snapped, and you wanted so badly to argue with him, but he wasn’t going to listen, he was already pissed off and he didn’t want to hear what he thought to be excuses. “You know what? I can’t… I’m going back to the dorms. You’re just… ew. I can’t.” 

Your mouth stayed shut as you watched him walk out of the room, then the front door slammed shut. He had left. You hated when he was mad at you, you wished he would just listen, but you knew well enough how he got when he was irritated. You wanted him home, you missed him dearly, you loved him. In his mind, he had every right to be mad, and while what he said wasn’t the nicest, it had come from a place of his own exhaustion and annoyance. 

“Sorry…” You muttered, not to anyone in particular, but you wanted to get the word out, the word that you had been holding onto for so long now. He’d come back if the house was clean, that’s all you had to do, and while your body was run down from being up all night and any slight movement had you feeling like you’d throw up at any moment, you needed him there with you. 

You pushed yourself to get out of bed, your legs wobbling once they hit the floor, but you hoped that you’d get better if you just started moving. The AC had been turned off and the heat had been cranked up, but you were still shivering, just another sign that the fever hadn’t broke yet, but maybe moving around a bit would help… You weren’t sure how, but you could hope. 

It was a miracle that you had managed to start the laundry, the constant bending over and standing straight back up to throw clothes in the wash had your balance absolutely shot, but a couple seconds of leaning against the machine had you feeling a little better, or at least like your equilibrium had balanced out enough for you to move onto the next task. All you had left to do was vacuum and do the dishes. 

To run the vacuum would require too much movement, and you didn’t want to jump into that, not yet at least, so you opted for, what you thought would be, the easier job. You made your way into the kitchen, just the small walk had you out of breath and hunched over the sink as you tried to keep yourself from puking. Your hands shook as you turned on the tap, it felt like you were shivering, but it was far worse, you couldn’t get it to stop. Your vision seemed to black out constantly, like you were blinking a little bit too long and far too much. 

It was like lifting weights, getting the dishes out of the sink to wash them, and even though the water had steam coming up from it, your hands felt like ice. The room was spinning at this point, and you couldn’t keep yourself upright, the exhaustion from everything, the fever, it had all taken a hold of you at once, and before you knew it, the glass that had been in your hand was shattering against the floor and you crumbled down right next to it. 

His phone vibrated in his pocket nonstop, he knew it was a phone call, and he assumed that the first two times it happened that it was you asking him to come back. It wasn’t until the third call came in, throwing him off during practice that he yanked his phone out, prepared to tell you to stop bothering him until he saw the number. 

“Hello?” He answered, confusion lacing his tone. He could hear in the background of the call a slight commotion, and while he usually wouldn’t be one to worry about things like that, there was something about the feeling of urgency, the fact that this random number had called him 3 times in a row that had a certain sense of panic creeping up on him. 

“Yeah, I’m on the phone with her boyfriend right now.” The person on the other end responded to someone nearby, and Seungmins stomach dropped. What the hell was going on? Who was this lady talking to? Obviously it was concerning you, and now he was extremely concerned about you. “Sorry, uhm… Your girlfriend, she uhm… She had an accident and…” 

He was already grabbing his jacket off the hook and pulling it on, his feet ghosting him through the practice room doors and down the hall. “An accident? What kind of accident? Is she okay?” He rushed out the questions, sprinting now as his stomach rose into his throat. Had you tried to come to the building to talk to him? Was it a car accident? Were you okay? 

“She fainted… There’s glass everywhere and… The paramedics are making sure she isn’t cut up or anything…” Those words only had him panicking even more. Glass? You fainted? Had you been driving and passed out? He didn’t hear any cars in the background, and he didn’t hear any emergency vehicle sirens. “Her fever is really high… They’re uhm… They’re taking her to the hospital… Right now? Yeah… Right now…” 

The lady was obviously talking to the paramedics in between trying to give him any sort of information, and it was extremely frustrating to have any sort of details being relayed to him through the phone. “Is she gonna be okay?!” He shouted, his mind in a haze now as he stood outside the building, probably looking like a madman as he ran his hand through his hair trying to figure out what exactly to do and where to go. 

“I’m not sure.. They’re loading her onto the gurney right now… They said… She’s breathing… But the fever is too high, she… She might have an infection or something? I don’t know… I’m sorry.” The lady spoke as fast as she could, and Seungmin tried to listen to the voices that were coming in through the background, but they were muffled and grainy and he couldn’t make anything out. 

“I’ll meet them at the hospital. Thank you.” He was sure that he probably sounded inconsiderate, and when he had the chance, he’d apologize to whoever the lady was for being so short. Right now though, he just wanted to get to the hospital that you were being taken to and make sure that you were alright. 

One text to Chan and his hyung was racing out of the building, clearly confused and worried by the vague “I need to go to the hospital” text that Seungmin had sent him. It was hard to explain everything during the ride considering Seungmin had not an inkling of an idea of what was actually going on himself. All he knew was that you were there and the last things he had said to you were nothing short of awful. The guilt was eating away at him and he knew that if anything worse happened while you were in there, he’d never forgive himself. 

“Are you gonna be o-” Chan began to ask as he pulled up right outside the emergency doors, but Seungmin was already out of the car. The thing is, he didn’t know if he’d be okay. It all depended on you, how you were right now, whether you’d be able to leave the hospital with him. He wasn’t okay right now though, he was far from it. 

A fucking kidney stone. It explained everything, but it also sucked. They had to do emergency surgery to get it out since it was becoming septic and apparently you were pretty damn close to dying. It was a good thing that you had dropped the glass and that the person in the apartment directly below you was so nosy. If it hadn’t been for her rushing up to see what the loud bang was, you probably would have died on the kitchen floor. At least, that’s what the doctors said. 

“Hey… sweetie…” Seungmins voice came from beside you, and you could have been angry, you should have been angry at him. If he had just listened, you probably would have been in the hospital a lot sooner and you wouldn’t have had to almost bust your head open on the kitchen floor just to get the attention of someone. 

“I washed the laundry…” You whispered, because even though you should have felt nothing but rage at him for being so rude, instead you felt nervousness. Would he berate you still in the hospital? Of course, you should know that Seungmin loved you, that he’d never mean to hurt you, but right now, after everything that you’ve been through, you just weren’t sure. 

He sighed softly, reaching out to grab your hand, gently and making sure to not touch the IV that was poking out from the vein in the top. “You shouldn’t have done that… You were sick, Y/N… Really sick.” His head shook as he scooted the chair closer to the edge of your bed, his other hand moving up to cup your face, his thumb brushing along your cheek. “You didn’t text me… You didn’t call me to tell me that you were feeling so bad… If I had known… Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Your bottom lip jutted out into a small pout, refusing to look at him as you averted your eyes to the TV hanging on the wall. “I didn’t want to tell you… I didn’t know what was wrong… I didn’t want you or the guys to get sick…” And even though you weren’t looking at him, you still felt comfort with his hand in yours, and you intertwined your fingers with his own. 

“It was a… a kidney stone, sweetie… That’s not contagious, it’s deadly…” He murmured, his tone, although quieter now,  still holding the same urgency it had when he had first found out from the doctors what was going on. “I could have lost you… I…” His breaths were shakier now, just the thought of being without you had him on the verge of tears. He wasn’t the best at displaying emotions, not unless it was done in a teasing manner, but he knew that right now wasn’t the time for that. “I love you… And, for the love of God, if you’re feeling any type of sick… Tell me. Please, just tell me. I don’t care if it’s something contagious, I don’t care if I get it myself. I’m your boyfriend, I’m here for you, I always will be… You just have to let me. Can you promise me that? Promise that you’ll let me take care of you?”

Minho

It was that time of year. There wasn’t anything specifically pleasant or unpleasant about it, it was just… that time. Seasonal depression was just something that you had, and as much as you tried to find happiness in the things around you, it was hard. There wasn’t a particular reason why you were so down, your mind just had those days, or moreso, months, where it made you think and feel this way. You had looked it up, it was actually a common thing, although it usually happened more around the winter holidays, but there was no set time for one's mind to decide that it didn’t want to produce the serotonin that it needed. Your mind just decided that right now was the time. 

You never told Minho about it either, you didn’t want him to think that something was wrong with you, you didn’t want him to leave you or feel like your emotions were a burden, so you had kept it to yourself, hoping that you’d be able to hide the symptoms of your depression from him when he was around. The thing is, him being around in general just helped, his presence alone kept your mind off of everything, he made you happy. If he knew that though, he’d push himself to be with you more often, and you knew that his career, his members, they needed him more. 

Thankfully and unthankfully he was on tour when your bout of depression kicked in. He wasn’t there to be that ray of light that you needed when that dark cloud above your head started to pour, but he also wasn’t there to potentially find you sitting in the bathroom crying because you had accidentally spilled a drop of tea on the counter after just cleaning it and it made you feel like an absolute idiot. Maybe it was better that he wasn’t around for things like that, it would only worry him or confuse him or push him away from you, all things that you didn’t want. 

Some episodes were worse than others, and this one wasn’t bad in the sense that most people would think. You just didn’t want to do anything, you didn’t want to get out of bed, you didn’t want to move. The only thing you had managed to do in the days that you had been laying in bed was cry, because ironically enough, you felt useless and worthless for being so lazy but you didn’t want to get out of bed so it just made you cry more because you didn’t even understand yourself sometimes. 

The only thing that you made sure to do was feed the cats and make sure they had fresh water and that you cleaned out their litter pans. It wasn’t their fault that your brain was fucked up, and you loved them like your children, the least you could do was take care of them, especially since Minho had trusted you to look after them. As soon as you were done making sure they were cared for though, you would retreat back to your shared bedroom and climb under the covers, your mind running rampant just thinking of things that would send you into another fit of tears. 

“Lovey, I’m home!!!” Minhos voice sounded through the entire house, and your heart sank, your own worries taking over. You thought that you’d be over your episode by now, but it had only seemed to get worse the longer he was gone. The only optimistic thought you had was that maybe his presence, his own happiness would rub off on you and pull you out of the slump that you were in. “What’s that… Oh my god, ew…” His footsteps carried him further into the home, but he paused right where the litter pans were, and you realized that you had fucked up. You hadn’t cleaned them yet today, but you made sure to feed the babies, and give them the water. You just weren’t in the right headspace, you forgot about the litter. “Leave her in charge for 2 weeks and she can’t even keep up on this…” He grumbled, and then his steps sounded out once more. 

The words already had you going into a state of panic, your throat closing up and your chest rising and falling faster as you held back your tears. You didn’t want him to see you like this. “Shit… Shit shit shit…” You mumbled to yourself, quickly trying to get out of the bed before he had the chance to come through the door, but you had been a little too slow, the bedroom door flying open and hitting the wall, causing you to fall back against the pillow, pulling the blanket over your head. It was childish, it was foolish, but maybe if you hid yourself he wouldn’t yell at you. 

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” He muttered, moving closer to the bed and yanking the blankets down. The look of disgust on his face, the way his eyes rolled with his annoyance, it hurt far more than he’d probably ever understand. “Did I wake you?” He questioned, but it wasn’t genuine, it was snarky and rude and you knew that he didn’t actually care if he did wake you or not. “Is this the only thing you’re good at, ‘cause it sure fucking seems like it. You can’t change the litter pan? You don’t even have to change it everyday, all you have to do is sift it most of the time.” 

Your eyes squeezed shut, looking at him only had you falling silent, and you thought that maybe if you didn’t see him you’d be able to explain. “I… I have been cleaning it… I just forgot today… I’m sorry… I didn’t mean it…” You practically whimpered, trying to pull the blankets back up, hoping to find some sort of refuge or comfort under the familiar sheets, but his grip on the fabric stayed tight and the covers wouldn’t budge. 

“Does your brain not work? You can’t just forget a day, Y/N. They’ll be shitting all over the house. I clearly see that you don’t mind living in filth, but my babies actually like to be clean.” It was insult after insult, and you knew that he had a right to be mad, his cats were everything to him, but he didn’t understand, and maybe that was your fault for not being upfront with him about what was going on, but it still didn’t mean he had to be so mean. “Can’t believe I trusted you with them. You can’t even take care of yourself, I mean… Jesus, look at you, it’s pathetic.” 

You were trying so hard not to cry, he’d only find you more disgusting if you did, so you held it in, your lips pursed tightly shut as you held your breath. You knew that you didn’t look the best, you were wearing one of his hoodies and a pair of sweatpants, your hair hadn’t been brushed in days, you hadn’t been keeping up on your skincare routine, you had let yourself go. Instead of finding something concerning about all of that though, he immediately jumped to degrading you. 

“I’m gonna take them to my parents. Enjoy your vacation.” The words were spat at you and you were too scared to say anything, too scared to open your mouth, knowing that once you did you’d just start sobbing and you’d make a mess of yourself, although he already saw you as a mess anyway. 

You waited for him to leave, the sound of the carrier crates being loaded with the cats who he apologized profusely to as he put them into them. It was your fault, everything was your fault, you just couldn’t do anything right. You didn’t deserve to be with someone as amazing, someone as hardworking as Minho. To be honest, you weren’t even sure how you had gotten with him to begin with. You remembered it, but you didn’t understand how someone like him could find someone like you even worthy of his presence, let alone his love. 

As soon as he left, making his exit audibly known by the loud slam of the door, you were up out of the bed, making your way into the bathroom. You were like a zombie, and when you looked at yourself in the mirror you could only see yourself the way he saw you laying in bed. You looked awful, you looked horrendous. Your hair was knotted and mangled in the back of your head where you had been laying on it for far too long. Your skin was extremely dry and blotchy, your lips were chapped and your eyes were red and puffy from crying so much. You looked like a monster, certainly not someone that Minho would be proud to stand beside. 

Your thoughts were worse now than they had ever been, destructive and demeaning as you stared at yourself in the mirror. He thought you were pathetic, he thought you were useless, he thought you were ugly… And you couldn’t help but believe all of those things. How could you not? 

With shaky hands, you grabbed the first bottle of pills that you could out of the medicine cabinet, carelessly shaking them into the palm of your hands, not even bothering to count out how many you had before throwing them in your mouth and washing them down with a cup of water. He might think all of those things, but the cats… they didn’t understand, did they? Maybe you could just… show them… show them that you weren’t as pathetic as you and Minho thought you were. You at least wanted to show them that you did care, you cared about them, you loved them, even if Minho didn’t think that you did. 

You grabbed a garbage bag from under the sink and started cleaning out the boxes, your head already spinning and your vision blurring, but you were hell bent on getting this done, at least one of the boxes if you could. You heart was running like a train, the sound of it filling your ears as you lifted the litter box into the black bag, trying your best to empty the contents of it, but you felt so weak, so tired, and you couldn’t breathe and everything was getting dark and all you wanted to do was sleep. You couldn’t stop yourself from falling back, it was like you couldn’t control your own body, and before you knew it, everything went dark. 

His leg bounced nonstop as he stared at his phone, sitting on the couch in his parents home with his babies surrounding him, but he didn’t feel right, you weren’t there with him and he wasn’t in his home, he wasn’t with you. He had texted you repeatedly and you had yet to respond, something that worried him immensely considering you were the quickest texter he knew. 

Maybe you were mad at him… No, not maybe… He was 100% sure that you were mad at him, and he knew that you should be. What he said was out of line, it was uncalled for. It’s not like the litter pans hadn’t been cleaned for days, it was simply one day and he had blown it out of proportion, he had said things to you that shouldn’t have been said at all or even thought about. You were the love of his life, you meant everything to him. He didn’t want to lose you because he overreacted, and it’s not like you hadn’t been actively taking care of his cats the entire time he had been gone.

Now that he was alone with his thoughts, he could see how ridiculous he had been, how rude, how shitty what he did was. You just hadn’t gotten around to cleaning the litter pans yet, it made sense, it wasn’t the best job to do, it surely wasn’t fun. He had blown up on you for no reason and he hated himself for being that way with you. He had taken the time to cool off, and while he was most certain that you probably didn’t want to see him right now, he wanted to apologize, he wanted to make the first step in setting things right and hopefully helping to heal the wounds that he caused you. 

“I gotta go home real quick… I’ll be back to either spend the night or pick them up.” Minho called out to his mom, giving her a quick goodbye before leaving and climbing into his car. Thoughts raced through his mind about what you probably thought. Did you think he didn’t love you anymore? That he was possibly cheating on you and that’s why he had acted so horribly about something as simple as the litter? Did you think he was trying to push you away? 

His fingers drummed anxiously against the wheel as he made his way home. He tried not to go too fast, knowing that it would only be worse for him if he got pulled over, but he wanted to get back to you, he wanted to tell you, show you how much he truly loved you, how much he regretted every single word that left his mouth this afternoon. 

Your car was still in the driveway when he pulled up, you clearly weren’t out or busy, so you were either sleeping or just actively ignoring his texts, both of them seemed plausible and respectable considering the way he had left you. He had stopped off at a flower shop on his way home, and it felt like the first date all over again, his hands trembling around the bouquet as he walked up to the front door. Would you blow up at him when you saw him? It only seemed right, and he’d take every single word that you threw at him if you did. 

Unlocking the front door, he saw that all of the curtains in the living room had been drawn shut, the same as they had been, practically blacking out the entire room once the light from outside had been blocked out when he shut the front door. “Y/N…” He whispered your name, his nerves wired as he thought about how you’d react to seeing him. Would you tell him to leave? Would you scream at him? Would you just continue to ignore him as if he wasn’t there at all? 

His hands searched the walls to find the lightswitch, not wanting to trip on any cat toys as he walked through the house, and once the lights came on his eyes scanned the room. Everything was the same way it had been when he left, the only difference was the black lump in the middle of the floor. Truthfully, his eyes had darted right over it at first, the shape of it looked more like a blanket that had just been left out, especially since the light that he turned on hadn’t really illuminated that spot well, but when he walked over to the shape and his eyes finally adjusted to what it was, it was like his entire world stopped. 

The flowers that he had been holding fell to the floor as he dropped down next to you, his hands immediately wrapping around you to pull you into his lap. “Y/N!” He shouted, his hands actively working to grab your wrist, his thumb pressing down to feel your heartbeat, and his own began to pick up in pace when he felt just how slow yours was. “Fuck… Baby please… Don’t do this to me… I’m sorry…” He was already crying, his tears falling into your hair and on your face as he fumbled in his pockets to find his phone. 

It was only made worse when his screen illuminated with a picture of him and you together, your smile so beautiful that he couldn’t help but fall in love with you all over again whenever he saw it. He could barely get himself to dial the number for the police, and his voice was weak, shaky and choked out when he tried to speak. “I need an… An ambulance… My girlfriend… Please… Help… Help me!” Those last two words were shouted to the operator as he became more desperate, your body practically lifeless as it lay heavily against him. 

Everything was crumbling, his heart, his life, his universe was just falling down around him and he didn’t know what to do. He held you close against him, his cheek pressed against your forehead as he continued to cry, heavy sobs shaking his body as he rocked back and forth on the floor. “Don’t leave me… You can’t leave me… You promised that you’d be with me forever… You promised me that…” He whispered, trembling lip kisses placed across your face between each sob. “Just wake up… All you have to do is wake up… For me… God, don’t leave me… Don’t…” He begged, tears pouring from his eyes like rain. 

He refused to leave you, to let you go, even when the paramedics knocked on the door, and they had to enter the house themselves and pry you from out of his arms. “Is she dead… Don’t tell me she’s… She’ll be okay… Won’t she?” He was on his knees on the floor, his legs weak and unable to let him stand as he watched the men load you onto the gurney, but no one answered him. 

The hospital room was too cold, it was too bright, there was so much wrong with it, but the biggest problem was the fact that you were the one laying in the bed right now. They had managed to wake you up, and luckily it had just been a fainting spell instead of anything worse, but he heard… He knew what you had done, and while he was angry with you for trying to take yourself away from him like that, he was even more angry with himself for being the one to cause that reaction in you. 

He had just started to doze off on the couch, something that he hadn’t been able to do in days despite his exhaustion. The doctors had to keep reminding him that you were going to be okay, and the only reason you were still in the hospital at this point was to rest and to make sure all you didn’t have any other side effects to the medication that you had taken. He was thankful for that, but he wanted to take you home, he wanted to be the one who took care of you. 

Sheets being rustled and the sound of disoriented grumbling had his eyes opening slightly, blinking the sleep out of them before turning to see you trying to get out of the bed. “What are you- Lay back down!” He practically shouted, stumbling over his own feet to get to you. Just the look in your eyes as you dropped back down onto the uncomfortable hospital bed was enough to show him just how much damage he had inflicted with his words. “Baby… Love, I-” 

“Why are you here?” You whispered, fumbling with the edge of the scratchy hospital blanket that you had pulled up around yourself. “You don’t have to be here… I probably look more disgusting now than I did at the house…” Your eyes glanced around the room, your eyes rolling as a heavy sigh left your lips and your head fell back against the pillow. “I don’t need to be here…” 

“Y/N…” He whispered your name, not wanting to raise his voice too high, afraid of upsetting you right now when you were clearly already not in the best state of mind. “You need to be here… You do… I need to know that you’re okay.” Not only did he need to know, he just needed you to be okay in general, although he was sure you didn’t want to hear that right now. “I love you, that’s why I’m here, and I’m sorry… I’m sorry for the way that I left…” 

You pursed your lips, your eyes focused on the painting on the wall that didn’t look to be anything in particular, but maybe you found something beautiful in it. “You’re not wrong… You weren’t wrong when you left… I’m useless, and I’m pathetic and-” His hands were on your cheeks, cupping them firmly yet not too hard, his lips crashing against your own, leaving you in a state of momentary shock. “What was that-” You had begun to question when he pulled back, but you were cut off once again when he kissed you. 

“I don’t want you to say that about yourself, I don’t want you to think that… You’re perfect, you’re amazing and… God, how could you possibly be useless when you do so much for me?” Your eyebrows lowered, casting shadows over your eyes as you shot him a questioning glance. “Don’t you know? How do you think I’m able to get through hard days and excruciating practices? It’s you… I just think of you and how great it’ll be to come home… To be with you… You’re the light at the end of the tunnel, and you’ll always be that for me.” 

You swallowed thickly, turning away from him to blink away the tears that had begun to form in your eyes. “There’s something wrong with me… I’m not good enough for you… Or anyone…” You mumbled, trying so hard to keep your voice from wavering, but it was pointless when he was listening to you so intently he could hear the slightest crack. “I just… I didn’t want to not be with you… I didn’t want to be here if you… Didn’t love me and…” He shushed you quickly, his own eyes brimming with tears when he heard the thoughts that had played out in your head that evening spoken so sadly by you now. What had he done? “No… No, baby… No…” He cooed, his hands actively wiping away your tears and his own that were falling at a rapid rate down both of your faces. “You’re more than good enough for me… You’re too good for me. There’s nothing wrong with you… I think you’re absolutely perfect, and there’ll never be a day that goes by that I won’t love you.” He carefully scooted you over on the bed, making room for himself to climb in beside you which seemed uncomfortable for him, but he also didn’t seem to mind it either. “I’m not leaving you… And you’re not allowed to leave me either… Promise you won’t do something like that again. You don’t know how scared I was… I can’t lose you, not like that… I love you too much to let you go…”

[goldenempyrean]

"cmon you know i don't get sick" + “i’m just trying to get all this work done! i have no time to rest” for supercorp pleasee

i love your writing sm, thank youuu

"Take Me Home?"

〚 Notes - It’s been a while! I’ve been so swamped with work and other stuff, that I honestly haven’t had the chance to write in a while! Hopefully this makes up for it! <3〛

〚 Pairing - Supercorp 〛

〚 Summary - Lena is overworking herself again, Kara has come to take her home. 〛

〚 Wordcount - 1250 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

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“Hey you, I’ve brought lunch!” Kara pushed opened the door to Lena’s office with a bright smile, the chirp in her bubbly voice brightening the room a little, “They were all out of those cajun fries you like so I got curly fries instead because who doesn’t like curly fri-“

She paused. Her smile slowly turning into a worried frown as she released something wasn’t right. Sure, the big stacks of piled up newspapers, reports and other random documents weren’t new. Ever since buying CatCo, it seemed Lena’s new office was constantly drowning in paperwork but usually there was a pretty ravenette sat neatly amongst the chaos.

Today, however, Lena was slumped over her desk, her dark hair disheveled and her usually sharp eyes were glassy and tired. She glanced up blearily as Kara entered, quickly trying to muster a smile that turned into a series of sneezes.

“Bless you,” Kara said softly, her brow crinkling a little as she tried to work out what was wrong, “You look awful Lee.”

“Gee, thanks, aren’t you a charmer?” Lena replied, her voice raspy and thick with congestion. She tried to laugh, but it ended in a harsh, wet cough. “Just what I needed to hear.

“Oh Roa, are you sick?” Kara exclaimed as the realisation hit her, dropping the takeout bag on the nearest surface and rushing to Lena’s side. “Why didn’t you tell me? What’s wrong, are you gonna be okay?”

She still wasn’t great at dealing with human sickness. Alex wasn’t one to get ill often and on the occasion that she would, the brunette would often hide it anyway, so Kara still wasn’t the best at judging when someone wasn’t feeling well.

In reply Lena sighed a little and shook her head in denial. Kara’s worried babbling was a little amusing, but her worry was misplaced, “Come on, you know I don’t get sick.”

“Well, that’s a lie.” Kara blinked a little cluelessly, “Everyone gets sick. You had the flu 2 years ago and then was that time just after you moved to National City when we ate that dodgy takeout, and it made you-“

“Okay!” Lena interrupted before she could continue her sentence, not wanting to relive the events. She rubbed her temples for a moment before sighing as she pushed yet another file aside, “You know what I meant, I don’t get sick easily. It’s honestly nothing, just a small bug.”

A “small bug” which moments later had her falling into a rather nasty sounding coughing fit, leaving her barely able to catch a breath before pitching forward helplessly with a series of sneezes, demonstrating quite perfectly how not okay she was.

Kara only hummed softly, shaking her head disapprovingly as she folded her arms over her chest, taking a few steps to stand just in front of her wife’s desk.

“Try again. That doesn’t sound ‘just a bug’ to me. You sound dreadful love.” The blonde sighed, reaching into her bag to pull out a packet of tissues which she offered out to her.

“Kara, honey, there’s nothing to worry about. I just caught a bit of a head cold, thats all,” Lena finally admitted but waved her hand dismissively at the offered tissues, but a damp sniffle undermined her action. “I’m still just trying to find something to link everything back to Edge in these old reports, I know it’s in here somewhere.”

It was work she’d been at it for days now. There was vital proof of Morgan Edge was behind some of the ongoing antics in National City. Just the sort of proof she needed to get finally get him. It was somewhere in these files, she knew it was! But chasing the already loose paper trail she was looking for was no easy task.

The Luthor opened up another file, reading over it for a moment before sighing and pushing it to the side when she realised it didn’t contain the information she needed. Lena turned her head away to muffle another short, rough cough into her elbow before letting her head fall onto her hands, “This is useless, it’s gonna take ages to find what I need like this.”

Kara sighed sympathetically, “I think you’d do better if you could actually focus love, let me take you home?” She offered as she went to the side to pour some water into a glass before offering it out to her.

Lena accepted the glass with a soft smile. She seemed to debate her offer for just a second, her tired eyes gazing longingly at Kara for a moment before she stubbornly shook her head with a firm decision, “I’m just trying to get all this work done, I have no time to rest. I can sleep when it’s done.”

This wasn’t going to satisfy her wife, however. The Kyrptonian knew how stubborn the Luthor could be, especially when it came down to work, but Kara was stubborn too, especially when it came down to the health of someone she cared about.

Kara raised an unimpressed eyebrow, her hand coming to rest on her hip, “And just how much sleep have you been getting recently?”

“Enough.” Lena mumbled somewhat evasively, her tired gaze not quite meeting the blonde’s eyes. She hadn’t been home in a few days, instead she’d been opting instead to sleep at the office or her lab at L-Corp.

Kara narrowed her eyes, clearly not convinced. “Lena,” She began slowly, her tone gentle but firm, “You know you can’t keep running on empty like this. If you don’t take care of yourself, you’re going to burn out. Then where will you be?”

Lena opened her mouth to argue, but the words were cut off by another round of violent coughing. She turned away, trying to suppress the fit, but it left her breathless and drained. When she finally caught her breath, she looked up at Kara with weary eyes, the fight in her slowly ebbing away.

“I just... I need to get this done, Kara,” Lena said, her voice cracking slightly, more from the strain than emotion. “Edge has been untouchable for too long, and if I don’t find something to take him down...”

Kara’s expression softened as she moved closer, placing a hand on Lena’s shoulder and squeezing softly, “I know how important this is to you,” She murmured reassuringly, “But you’re not going to be any good to anyone if you work yourself into the ground like this.”

Lena hesitated, her resolve wavering under Kara’s pleading gaze. The thought of curling up in bed, of letting herself rest in the warmth of her love’s arms, was becoming more and more appealing. She knew she couldn’t keep going like this—not if she wanted to be effective in any of her roles, as a CEO, as a friend, as a wife.

Finally, she sighed in defeat, nodding slightly. “Okay,” She spoke, her voice was hoarse and barely audible, but Kara heard the whispered words nonetheless, “Take me home?”

The blonde smiled, finally glad to have broken through, “Of course sweetheart, come here.”

Kara extended a hand, helping lift Lena her up from the seat before pulling the Luthor into her arms, Lena let out a content sigh. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” She murmured, nuzzling her head into the safety of Kara’s neck.

Kara only smiled and kissed the top of Lena’s head as she held her a little closer. “You’ll never have to find out.”

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[meabh-mcinness]

In Sickness

Humans do not have 'Evil Cycles' it's true. However, they can bend under stress in other ways. Some lose their minds and others present more physical symptoms. With all the stress of parenting, working as a teacher, and doing your best to make sure no one figures out either your or Iruma's rather human status, it's no wonder you fall victim to a stress fever. Luckily for you, the resident gargoyle demon is more than happy to help nurse you back to health once he discovers your ill state.

This was originally created/inspired for @snippychicke because I love their Balam x reader story "For Sake of a Smile". While not finished yet it's incredibly well written and I would highly recommend it, also for Sleepylilacfox who writes "New Start: The Beginning of a Beautiful Life" on AO3 and wattpad which is a well-written FemIruma x Everyone story I highly recommend!

No TriggerWarnings! I think.

Main Masterlist

You quietly groaned at the massive headache that had made itself known to you the moment you had woken from your alarm. Head pounding, all you could do was curl into yourself just that much tighter. Pulling your blankets up further to block the almost nonexistent light from daybreak, you did your best to give the impression that you did not exist. If you did it well enough, perhaps you wouldn't, and then all your pain, physical or mental, would be gone as well.

Of course, you knew you couldn't. There were people who depended on you, Iruma depended on you. Never mind the entire school body of both students and teachers who needed you to do your job. And yet you just couldn't make yourself move, your brain just felt so slow and your body so heavy. Perhaps one day off wouldn't be so bad.

Right?

No, you needed to get up. There was paperwork to be done, you were supposed to supervise that new library project for Professor Farbas, and Professor Stolas was expecting your help with the greenhouse as they deconstructed the Harvest Festival. Slowly you started to undo your burrito wrap, mind racing with both nothing and everything you needed to do; like your classes needed teaching (who would have thought you'd be such a natural at your field) and you needed to –

"Fall back asleep, my lady." An even voice broke through the fog, and a cool hand placed itself gently onto your forehead, startling you. Red and yellow eyes stared unwaveringly into your hazy ones, slowly getting further away as you were gently pressed back down. When did they get here? There couldn't have been that much time spent after your alarm, and you hadn't even heard your door open, much less seen them come in.

"But Opera, I need to-" You started to get out and tried to push back up but were quickly silenced when they easily overpowered you despite still feeling like they were only barely touching you. Seriously, were you just that weak, or was the Cat demon just the embodiment of excessive strength?

"While I am not often in the business of disobeying my masters," that was a straight-up lie, they disobeyed Sullivan all the time, "it is my belief that what you need is a couple of days rest. You have been overworking yourself, the same as Master Iruma does. Had you been a demon, you would have already entered an Evil cycle, even now I worry you still will." Opera stated while fixing your blankets to lay over you properly again.

"Humans don' evil cycle," you tried to protest, slurring the sentence out. They only had mental breakdowns, and you did far more things at once in a shorter amount of time in the human world than here while staying completely sane. Honestly, you felt as if you had barely any work here and were taking advantage of Sullivan's kindness. For the most part you just spent your days reading, keeping an eye on the school library, and teaching classes. And when you weren't working you were hanging out with your family or the other teachers. You did occasionally (often) help others out as well, but not enough that you felt you had taken on to much.

"Royal one." They rebutted easily, cutting through your thoughts, causing you to flinch.

Iruma's overnight personality change had thrown you all for a loop. Though you had come out of your shock far quicker than anyone else seemed to; you were certain Sullivan was still traumatized. After all, Iruma was a teenager and more than deserved a rebellion or two after the life he had!

You also may or may not have let slip to the janitors that you were worried Iruma wouldn't know Kalego meant all the faculty employed at the school and not just the teachers.  Your own personal rebellion against Kalego when he tried to bully you into not helping the misfit class, but that was another story, and therefore another thought that needed burying at the moment.

After all, you had a feline to bargain with right now. Or make that felines, when you barely made out the faint pitter-patters of small feet coming into your room. The resident hellcats making their way in to back up their leader.

Before you could even open your mouth and try, though, Opera successfully managed to wrap you up in a sheet under the comforter so that you couldn't even try to get up. And on top of that, the two resident hellcats have decided to jump up and lay on top of you. You blinked in confusion, you hadn't been that deep in thought, had you? Still, you were determined to try, even if the blankets were so warm and heavy with the hellcats' weight, and you could just make out a light circling pressure on the edges of both sides of your temporal.

You tried to struggle but you barely even wiggled and succeeded only in making one of the hellcats readjust itself with a yawn and close its eyes again.  You were close to joining it, but still, you tried to hang on.

"O-per-a," you slurred out slowly before your traitorous body gave in to the persistent demon. Your eyes closed and you knew no more.

**********

You were quite rudely awoken by a quiet knocking sound later.

At first, you weren't even sure you had heard knocking or if it was the hellcats moving on. Still feeling the warmth but lacking a good amount of pressure made you decide it was simply them leaving and curled back up under the blanket. Until the sound returned, rousing you slightly more.

Groggily, you poked your head out of your blanket-made cocoon. You fully expected to have to shield away from the daylight, only to find the room pleasantly dark, curtains drawn shut.

You vaguely remembered Opera coming in and putting you back to sleep; one turn of the head confirmed that it wasn't a dream. A small tray with a kettle, two different-sized glasses, and what appeared to be a note sat on the bedside table. You would bet your life that the kettle and smaller cup were filled with steaming hot 

Hell-gray tea (Opera's specialty, for they never seemed to make anything else, though to be fair you wouldn't know what to ask for), and the taller of the two glasses with cold water. They must have closed the curtains as well on their way out. You would have to thank them later for their thoughtfulness, though you still felt this was all quite unnecessary.

You were drawn out of your thoughts once again by a third knocking. Still faint and barely there, though more easily heard now that you were more awake. You were tempted to drink some tea and bury your head, never to be seen again, but the knocker seemed quite persistent. Steadily getting louder and faster with each repetition. So, with a tired sigh and great effort, you heaved yourself out of your comfy bed, only to flinch at the cold floorboards.

'Whoever was at the door better have a good reason for being here,' you thought as you made your way out of your room towards the front door with heavy steps.  It surprised you, how slow you were moving. It was as if every muscle in your body had been replaced with lead and were still expected to move.

'Was the front door always this far away?' Perhaps it was a good idea you stayed home. If you were this slow and a student got into some kind of trouble, you would never be fast enough to help them in this condition. And after all, Opera hadn't said you couldn't do paperwork from home.

But first to deal with this intruder.

You swore, as you opened the massive front doors, that if this was some delivery Sullivan ordered for the nth time since you and Iruma came, you were going to tear him-

"Balam-sensei!" you choked out, surprised at the massive demon standing on the other side. This was most definitely not who you were expecting as your bleary eyes did their best to make out his pale skin and white hair from the blinding noon sun. If it wasn't for his recognizable dark clothes and eyes, your blurred vision might not have noticed him at all.

Squinting, you tried to look him in the eyes as best as you could, but the shine of his metal mask reflecting the already bright sun made it hard to look even close to his face, much less that high up it. You ended up settling on staring at his fur collar, watching it sway in the slight breeze. Just high enough to see his face in your preferential vision but low enough for his own body to block a majority of the rays.

To be honest, you did expect a delivery demon or even Kalego to drag you to work as one of the few people the misfit class voluntarily listened to. Not the resident biologist, whose happiness for the two humans' existence in the Netherworld could probably rival Sullivan's. Considering his rather high paranoia of discovery where you and Iruma were concerned, though, maybe this shouldn't have been such a shock.

And, oh, his eyes were crinkling with furrowed brows. At least you thought they were, it was hard to see the white eyebrows against his skin on your best days. Oh no, had he been talking this whole time?

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" you croaked out, wincing at the way your voice cracked. You had to focus! What if he was here to report a serious issue, and you were just standing there zoning out?

"Ah, I was just saying hello and how I noticed you weren't here today. Opera told the staff you were on the verge of an evil cycle," he started to fidget here, one hand raising to rub at his no longer shaved neck. You blinked, was it just you, or was his hair several inches longer than when you last saw him a few days ago?

"But when Iruma stopped by during lunch, he mentioned that humans just didn't have those." He eyed you questionably as if asking if his information was correct as he continued. You nodded in confirmation; it was true after all.

"We don't," you added verbally to his unasked question, "even if Opera is entirely convinced otherwise." You tilted your head to the side in confusion. You may have been a bit slow today, but "that doesn't explain why you're here, though?" The words slipped out before you could stop them. Never mind, you were slow today.

A matching set of flushed skin appeared on both of your faces, though for different reasons. Yours was for embarrassment for not being able to keep control of your own mouth, his for being called out. It was true, when you later thought about it, he could have simply phoned or even just asked Opera or Sullivan privately.  The hand rubbing his neck pulled away before awkwardly pushing his two index fingers together, eyes staring down at them as they pushed against each other repeatedly.

"I... may have gotten a bit anxious that it was something more serious and decidedly human, so others couldn't know. With my classes done for the day, I rushed over after Iruma left, to make sure you were okay."

You felt your heart clench a bit at his words. Seriously, how did this being exist? He was the literal embodiment of a giant teddy bear, and quite honestly, you wanted to give in and squeeze him in a hug. Thankfully, though, your brain hadn't left you behind that much, not yet at least. The longer you stood here though the more certain you were that it would.

"Thank you for rushing over to see me, but I can assure you I'm fine. I'm sorry for worrying you. The only reason I skipped today is that Opera trapped me in bed and lulled me back to sleep." You spoke nonchalantly, despite being slightly irritated at the whole thing. You were determined to get on Opera about this. Even if they were slowly being proven right, it didn't mean you were happy to admit it.

Some clouds flew overhead blocking the sun, leaving you in the blissful shade, almost as if the Netherworld itself could feel your frustration at the feline demon. Sighing in relief for your poor eyes you looked up at Balam properly and froze. Or, perhaps, the clouds had been a warning.

His entire body was tensed up and his eyes were zeroed in on you with such focus you honestly felt a bit like prey, much like the first time you encountered him. It took everything in you to not slam the door and hide in the deepest darkest corner you could find until safety arrived, or the threat left. You mentally shook yourself; this was Balam, he would never hurt you. Even if he could be intense at times, he never meant harm from it, often seeking the opposite result even.

"Ba-"

"You lied." He stated bluntly. Huh?

"I-Wha?" You were so startled by what he said you couldn't even form a sentence. Lied? When? Everything you stated was the truth as far as you knew. Opera had essentially trapped you; they had made it quite clear that you would not be leaving that bed even if they had to tie you down. While they hadn't physically said it, you could just tell that they would.

"You lied," Balam repeated, "Just now."

You shoved yourself off the door-frame you were leaning on (when had you leaned on it in the first place?) and stared indignantly at him. "What part of what I just said was a lie? I would expect you of all demons to understand Opera's strength especially compared to a normal demon much less-"

"Not that part." Balam interrupted, short-circuiting your brain. Not that part? But what other part was there? "When you said you were fine, you were lying," He took a step closer to you, hands reaching out to grasp your shoulders so lightly that if you didn't see them, you wouldn't have known they were there. "Where are you hurt? Was Opera too rough? Do you need medical attention?"

"I'm not injured though?" You blinked incredulously at him. You were certain you were not lying about that. Sure, you may still have a crazy strong headache and you felt dizzy just standing here, and your muscles did still feel like lead. Or maybe concrete the longer you stood here, or was it the other way around? It had been so long since your physic class days and your head was getting fuzzier by the minute. Regardless you were fine. You've experienced far worse things and still worked; this was nothing new.

His head tilted slightly and moved closer to your own. So close, in fact, that you could see that what you once thought were tiny irises were actually pupils, surrounded by incredibly light grey rings that made up his actual irises. To be honest you thought it was very pretty and slightly memorizing, especially in your current non-focusable state. So memorizing in fact that even though you watched them move back and forth across your face as if searching for something, you barely processed it.

"That's good, I believe you" You let out a sigh of relief at that, "however."

However?

Eh?

"Ehhh!? Balam-sensei!" you couldn't help but shout in surprise at suddenly being lifted into his arms. Your legs were thrown over one of his arms and his other arm supported your back easily, even lightly pressing you to lean against his chest. You gripped his tank top right under the fur collar tightly and closed your eyes in both shock and to protect yourself against sudden vertigo that plagued you from the unexpected fast movement. A furious blush spread across your face as you tried to comprehend what exactly was happening.

"Sorry, but you're swaying as if you're about to fall over. Even if you're not physically injured, you're clearly not fine." He apologized while walking into the mansion and shutting the door behind him with one of his feet. "Not to mention your eyes are glazed over and your face has been getting paler and paler since we've started talking. Where's your bedroom? I can't believe Opera left you alone in this state, I can feel the heat radiating from you more than normal and it's upstairs, is it?" Balam continued without stopping for breath even once, barely even acknowledging when you weakly pointed towards the large staircase in the center of the room, still dazed and flustered from your sudden position in his arms. If he was worried about you being pale, that problem had been fixed with the searing hot blush that covered your entire face to your ears and refused to leave.

Ah, you suddenly realized. This must be one of those famous Balam scoldings Iruma warned you about. You buried your face in his chest, silky fur collar tickling the top of your head like the feathers you saw in those ear-cleaning videos back in the human world. Briefly, you wondered if they had the same practices here. (Later you would find out that they did in fact do them and that Opera was trained in it. You obviously did not put this knowledge to use later on. Not at all.)

Pressed against Balam like this you could feel, more than hear him lecture. A low rumble in his body worked in tandem with the strong beat of his heart and gentle steps. Despite his grumblings, he was extremely delicate with you, with barely enough pressure from his arms to keep you in place and slow methodical movements as he made his way upstairs without jostling you. You could feel yourself starting to relax and zone out again as he continued to berate both you and the absent Opera. Who knew being chastised could be so relaxing?

He found your room rather easily, despite your lack of help after your initial point. While it wasn't the only, nor the first, room open on the second floor, it was the only one with both a strong smell of fresh tea and something undeniably you. Entering it almost cautiously, Balam gave it a cursory once over, unable to deny this small piece of instinct in unfamiliar territory while holding precious cargo. Deeming it safe he quickly laid you back in your bed and moved to pull your blankets back over you, fussing to get them just right. Once he deemed it good enough, he kneeled by your side and brushed some loose hair from your face, before settling his hand on your forehead.

Despite the mask covering half his face, you could tell there was a huge frown marring it. You wanted desperately to wipe it away. He had become too precious to you to have anything other than a smile.

"You're so warm," he mumbled, seeming to have stopped his tirade for now. That was nothing new. As a human, you had discovered that both your and Iruma's bodies ran hotter than the average demon's. To the point that you had even been mistaken as a fire-based demon by multiple others, which you had found quite funny considering your affinity for water and ice runes. You even laughingly reminded him of such before dissolving into a fit of coughs, body curling in on its side.

Oh. Oh no. No, you refused to believe it. You weren't sick, you simply must have choked on some air when laughing.

.....

That sounded weak even to your addled brain. Especially since the longer you laid here the more you could feel just how off you were. Seriously how did you not notice? Was the Netherworld so much better that you had forgotten what it felt like to be sick? The resounding yes in your mind was very loud and you chose to ignore it.

Well, you counseled yourself, at least you could tell Opera that they were wrong about the possible evil cycle. It was simply your body betraying you to whatever was infecting it. And oh, you were not looking forward to the simply insane fest that was going to occur when Sullivan found out you were sick. You mournfully resigned yourself to his hysterics already.

When the last cough rattled out of your chest you breathed harshly while unfurling your body again. Bleary eyes focused on the sudden appearance of a glass in front of your face as you recognized a sensation fluttering in circles on your back. You gave the panicked-looking gargoyle in front of you a grateful smile as you carefully leaned up, grasped the drink, and took a sip.

Cold water traveled pleasantly down your throat, spreading its soothingly frosty touch throughout your chest. Once you had your fill you handed back the glass and flumped fully down again. The pressure on your back never lets up once and you take a minute to fully savor the feeling. How long had it been since you enjoyed the touch of another like this?

The longer you laid here, focusing on feeling the ministrations on your back and just trying to breathe, the hazier you could feel your mind becoming again. Almost as if a fog was just rolling through your mind, blowing away any conscious thoughts and leaving only a mess behind. While you heavily disliked not being all there, never truly feeling safe enough to zone out, you much preferred it to the pain of the migraine you had woken up with.

Sullivan's desire for you to have the best of the best meant the fluffy bed you were laying on took away the weighted feeling of your lead filled limbs. Combined with your increasingly hazy mind meant you felt something similar as to floating in space kept grounded only by the feeling of the gargoyle's hand and the itchiness slowly growing in your throat. 

You could feel sleep trying to claim you again and you were honestly more than willing to answer its call. Now that you acknowledged you were sick it was easy to want to stay in bed and just sleep through it all. You were well acquainted with what would happen next and had no desire to actually be awake for it. As much as a tiny voice in the back of your head yelled that you should push through it, it was just as it easy to squish it when your brain went all fuzzy.

Until it abruptly stopped as Shichirou pulled away and said something. You didn't even bother trying to understand him and simply whined at the loss of contact, reaching out blindly towards where you thought he was. Briefly you wondered when you closed your eyes but just as quickly threw the thought out. It wasn't needed. What was needed you had decided, making grabby motions at him, was for the contact to continue.

One eye squinting open you found, quite frustratingly, he wasn't even looking at you. Instead he was moving things about on the tray as a sudden vine reached across the wall from your bedroom holding a small container. You watched him screw up the container and shake a small amount into the tea cup. Swirling the cup to mix the powdery mess with the tea Opera had left behind, he eyed it critically before nodding to himself and turning back to you.

Finally you had his attention, making another whining sound and reaching out for him again you ignored the cup and grabbed the outer part of his hand instead. A low chuckling sound hit your ears as his other arm wrapped under your side and gently hauled you up. With the cup now close to your face you couldn't help but wrinkle your nose at the off putting scent rising from it.

"Just drink this darling and I promise you can go back to sleep." You threw him your best (most pitiful) dubious glare before relenting and opening your lips just a bit. The slightly thick liquid that poured into your mouth reminded you of pepto bismal, if pepto tasted like oranges that was. When the cup was drained, he carefully laid you back down again, smoothing your hair out of your face.

"As promised I'll leave you be to sleep," he pushed b back one last stand and started to rise to leave. Leave? Well that certainly wouldn't do. You hand lashed out faster than it had any right to and gripped his again. Eyes widened in surprise as he looked at your combined hands before locking with yours with a question already on his lips.

"Stay?" You asked, a pout already forming on your lips at his possible refusal. "Please? Just till I fall asleep at least." His face softened immediately and nodded his consent.

Tugging his hand closer to you, so that his knuckles were tucked directly under your chin and the length of his arm ran down your body. Legs pulling up so his elbow was just barely locked in between your knees. You never fully realized how tiny you were in comparison before. The length of his forearm alone was the same as your torso's. Logically, in a different situation such a size difference would frighten you. But here and now, curled around something that could easily harm you brought only the feeling of safety.

It was rather easy to drift off to sleep in that position as his other hand came up and started petting your head, rubbing away any potential headaches before they could even start. When you were better again you might regret this (highly unlikely, you were going to treasure this feeling forever) but for now you would fully relax and just drift off.

**********

A shuffling followed by a quiet chuckling-like noise drew you out of your sleep. Groaning you opened your eyes to try to find the source of the disturbance in your sleep yet again. You were facing the wall with your vanity against it and able to, rather blearily, see your room door through it. 

Through the mirror, you could see a pair of bright red ear-like horns poking through a crack in your vine-covered door along with a blue scythe-like antenna just underneath it. Opera and Iruma your mind supplied and judging by the pale clawed hand far higher up the door, Sullivan was there too. But that wasn't what caught your mind addled attention.

Just behind you was an incredibly large moving lump sharing your blankets. It was only then that you realized that you were not only laying on something long and hard but that something of the same shape and size was carelessly tossed over your middle as well. Arms. You were being held by someone. That woke you up quite a bit. As your mind frantically raced to remember what happened before you fell back asleep again you felt said arms tighten around you fractionally as a muffled groan came from behind you. A groan that you were quite familiar with, even in its sleepy form.  

Balam Shichirou.

Was in your bed.

You were almost positive your head was going to explode from how hard you were blushing. Your hands drew up and covered your face as you fought the squeal demanding to escape your throat. As your memories came back, you vaguely recalled grabbing him and asking him to stay, but you didn't think he would join you in bed too! 

As if sensing your plight in his sleep, his large arms drew you further into his embrace, nose nuzzling into your hair in an attempt to soothe you. You didn't want to admit how much it made your body relax to feel it but as the tension left, you could feel sleep calling you again. Resolving not to deal with this when you were still in the throes of whatever sickness had claimed you, you resolutely turned away from the mirror and into the safety of the wall of flesh and feathers behind you.

"愛してる Shichirou...." You whispered as you fell back asleep, nuzzling back up against his warm chest as his arms unconsciously wrapped around you even tighter.

*At a later date *

"Thanks for the book, Balam-sensei!" Iruma said, antenna wagging happily as he held the new book to his chest. Unlike the heavy textbooks the human boy usually got with his classes, he quite enjoyed the picture books he got from the gargoyle teacher.

Said teacher leaned forward and patted Iruma's head, ruffling the blue hair about as he smiled at him.

"It's my pleasure, really. I'm just glad that you enjoy them and that they're so helpful to you." Balam said as he drew his arm back. "How are your studies coming along by the way?"

Iruma's eyes sparkled in pride, "I've gotten far better! I'm getting an average of seventies thanks to everyone's help! You, Kalego-sensei, Mom, Azz-kun, Clara, and everyone else. You've all helped me come so far, and I can't wait to go further!" Iruma clenched one of his fists in determination.

Shichirou looked at the small human boy and felt something akin to parental pride. To a demon ambition was everything, and to see this child who had such a big disadvantage in the Netherworld giving his absolute all to see his goals through, and manage it. It was amazing and reminded him all the time why he found living things so beautiful.

Among other beings. Which reminded him...

"Hey Iruma-kun," Shichirou started, as he unconsciously drew the boy into his lap to pet him some more, "I have another human question if you don't mind?"

Iruma tilted his head in confusion, giving a rather devipup image in his mind, before nodding his head in consent.

"What does 愛してる mean in the human language?"

"....Eh? EHH!?!"

___________

*Fun fact; 愛してる (or ai shiteru in romaji) translates roughly to I love you and is only used when the person is absolutely certain in their romantic feelings for their partner. The meaning is so strong that it's actually very rarely used in real life, even between married partners!

Or at least that's what my studies say ^u^'/ If you're native Japanese please correct me if I'm wrong!

This turned out way longer than I expected it to, which is part of the reason it so long to get out(it was supposed to be out in Nov ಥ ͜ʖಥ). The other is that I actually fell into a stress cold, because of course I did, while in the middle of writing e.e and then life struck. But hey, it's out now!

Also I may or may not make Kalego and Opera versions of this

[samieree]

Helloo, could you please write heimdall x reader were she has breathing problems and is having difficulties to do something, so he starts mocking her but realizes she is really upset and sick so he takes care of her and comforts her? Thanks!!

Hiii, of course I could, sunshine 🤭 I hope you like it 💗

~

You were angry. Angry and tired, so you didn’t have energy in you to express how angry you are. Your work was taking care of dragons in Asgard. It wasn’t the work of your dreams and also not safe - the last person on your job was burned by one of the dragons… - but it was enough to afford a life and sometimes some pleasures. 

But why were you angry? Oh well… Your friend, Isac, was ill. He was working with you and he was always carrying all of the food for dragons. Like all those dead stags, pigs, boars… But now he was and there was no one else to do it, so you now had to drag this damn stag. 

It was another day of working like that and honestly, you felt worse and worse with that. Your illness started to show up more and more, as you were working harder than you should. 

After a few more minutes of dragging this damn stag, you had to sit on the ground. Your breath was heavy, you felt that you needed a longer break but you didn't have time for that. But also you couldn’t encourage yourself to get up and drag this stag to the stable for dragons. So you just sit on the ground, trying to calm your breath when you heard someone’s footsteps behind you. 

“As far as I know you’re not paid for laziness.” 

You knew this voice too well. Of course Heimdall came to mock you again, it seems he was bored again… You wanted to answer him, but first you had to take care of your breath, and that was giving him more time to be an asshole.

“Oh, now you’re ignoring me? You forgot who I am?”

“I’m not lazy…” you said, still sitting on the ground. You didn’t even turn your gaze at him, but you knew what your eyes would meet.

“So what are you doing? Spending your fifteen-minutes long break on the ground next to a dead stag?” he grimaced. It seems that he didn’t like the smell of the dead animal… 

“It’s not my break.”

“I think it is. You’re doing nothing instead of work, so it’s your break. Uncommon to take your break at the beginning of the day-”

“It’s not my damn break…!” you shouted at him, but your voice cracked in the middle of the sentence and you started coughing.

“Don’t say that you caught an illness from your dumb friend…” he shaked his head. Then he took a few steps forward and crouched in front of you. His right hand rested on your forehead, but you didn’t have a fever.

That was the moment when he realised what was going on. You weren’t lazy or “just” ill, you had some breathing problems, that’s why you couldn’t drag the stag all the way to the stable.  

He sighed heavily and got up, in the meantime taking in his hand the leg, by which you were dragging the animal. Of course he grimaced again, visibly not happy about what he was doing.

You didn’t want his help, you knew that right after he was done with it, he would come back to you and mock you even more or maybe even fire you… You didn’t know worse, listening to his rude remarks or having to look for another work. 

“I don’t need help. I can do it, I just need a few minu-”

“Lies.” he replied. “I will do it. You sit here and don’t move an inch.”

What could you do? You listened to him, turning your gaze to how easily he dragged this damn animal, like it was a feather.

He is a God, of course he is way stronger than me… I bet he could drag ten stags like this one at once and not break a sweat.

A few minutes passed before he came back. You realised it because you suddenly felt hands holding you under your arms and pulling you up. At first you squeaked in surprise. Again, when Heimdall pulled you up from the ground you felt like in his eyes you don’t weigh anything. 

“I assure you, I know that you’re not as light as a feather.” you felt yourself blush a bit at this remark. After all those minutes of rest your breath came back to normal and you were no longer scared that you’re going to suffocate. “Until your “friend” comes back to work you won’t drag anything around. There is surely someone who can do it for you.”

“Thank you…”

“Oh, but don’t imagine it’ll be me, I have more important work to do.” you rolled your eyes at these words. Of course, he won’t get his white clothes dirty. At least not for some mortal like you. “It’s obvious I won’t, but on the other hand we don’t want you to die, we had enough problems when the last person with your job burned… Anyway, where is your house?” you barely thought about saying it to him and he already continued. “Great, not too far away. Come on sunshine, you can have a day off. Just don’t get used to it.” He put an arm around you and pulled you after him toward his animal, Gulltoppr. 

It was the first time you stood so close to it, not to say sitting on it… And that’s what you were doing now. You felt Heimdall’s strong hands on your waist as he picked you up and placed you on the saddle. A moment later he sit behind you and held the reins. 

“Also don’t get used to this.” 

You nodded but also smiled. You already knew that this probably isn’t the last time when you experience something like that. Why? Because when Heimdall does something like all these, you surely aren’t indifferent to him. 

And he didn’t say a word since you thought that. He never lies, so he chose silence. 

But when you started to think about it more and more and your thought went to the story you once read, about cinderella and her prince, Heimdall said something: “Yes yes, I’m your prince, you’re more than safe with me, my Cinderella.”

~

-> general masterlist -> God of War: Ragnarök masterlist

[serial-serializednovelreader]

Nova’s Notes - Dracula Daily - July 27

In which Mina is even more anxious….

“No news from Jonathan. I am getting quite uneasy about him, though why I should I do not know; but I do wish that he would write, if it were only a single line.”

:(((((( it feels like Mina is almost bargaining here, asking for “only a single line” from him. I feel so bad for her because she cannot know what Jonathan is currently going through just to get home to her safely! It’s also sad because when I see this, all I can think of is the last line in his diary: “Goodbye, all! Mina!” The worst part is, she can’t even put her finger on why, her intuition is just telling her something is wrong and she should be worried. And it’s right.

“Lucy walks more than ever, and each night I am awakened by her moving about the room. Fortunately, the weather is so hot that she cannot get cold; but still the anxiety and the perpetually being wakened is beginning to tell on me, and I am getting nervous and wakeful myself. Thank God, Lucy's health keeps up.”

Yikes, that would definitely make me anxious if I was constantly being awoken by someone pacing around the room, compounded with my anxiety for my fiancé. But what can Mina do except try to sleep the best she can? And through it all, she’s only worried about Lucy’s health and how this could be affecting her. I love Mina so much, she’s so selfless. I just want her to be ok too, though. Who’s looking out for her? :(

“Mr. Holmwood has been suddenly called to Ring to see his father, who has been taken seriously ill. Lucy frets at the postponement of seeing him, but it does not touch her looks; she is a trifle stouter, and her cheeks are a lovely rose-pink. She has lost that anæmic look which she had. I pray it will all last.”

Oh, no!! Again, poor Arthur. I’m sure he hoped it wouldn’t be too serious and now his father has taken a turn for the worse. I know it may seem shallow of Lucy to worry about the postponement, but I think I can explain her logic:

1. She might be covering up her worry for Arthur’s dad and Arthur’s mental health by making it about something else. That might seem strange, but I think it’s possible that she might want to think about/talk about something more trivial than her concrete worries about her future father-in-law’s health and how her fiancé will take this sudden turn in his health. The more time she’s worrying about when she’ll see him again, the less time she’ll worry about how he’s doing emotionally (not the best coping mechanism, but I’ve seen it — and done it — before).

2. If she can’t see Arthur, she can’t comfort him. Letters can only do so much. :(

3. Deep down, she may be insecure about her place with Arthur. What if he doesn’t love her as much as he says/she dares hope? What if he decides to cancel the engagement after he sees to his father since they haven’t seen each other in a while? It may not have even been that long, but that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I don’t think this is a case of Arthur not demonstrating his love to her enough, but rather her own anxiety taking over her thoughts.

Concerning that she had an anæmic look, but I’m honestly not worried about this — I think she was just worrying and she looked a bit pale because of this (I could go into why I’m not concerned, but that’s verging on spoilers — let’s just say I think Lucy’s fine, just worried).

This last sentence breaks my heart a bit for Mina because she’s not just talking about Lucy’s healthy looks here. She knows lots of things are on the verge of changing: Lucy’s health while sleep-walking (she could catch a cold or get outside!!), Jonathan’s health (what if something bad has happened to him — or what if he’s changed his mind too 😳), and Arthur’s father’s health. Her intuition is saying that something is wrong here, but obviously she can’t confide to Lucy. Two-thirds of those worries are things that would worry Lucy further and the last point with Jonathan would only add a new burden. Besides, it might make the possibility of Jonathan in bad health (or worse) too real, if that makes sense. Hopefully, things will look up soon.

That’s it for this one!

[ofinkandpaper]

A Changed World

Yandere!Villian!MHA x Reader

Hello! Finally, after nearly an entire year, I have finally finished chapter two with the gracious help and beta reading of @cupidcreates ❤️ So many things have been going on in my personal life and I really appreciate y'all's patience with this. Also, to clarify why I tag certain characters though they don't appear in a this chapter: they are referenced and are an important character to the story as a whole, so it makes it easier for me to keep track of what tags I should put on each chapter when they're all the same.

Note: The characters are aged up. As the story progresses, I will tag each chapter with respective trigger and content warnings, which may include mentions of murder, assault, cannibalism, stalking, torture, arson, terrorism, and other felonies, Yandere themes, Sexual assault, Mental illness, abuse. I do not own MHA nor do these personalities represent the writers, characters or VAs of the show. This is strictly fiction and for entertainment purposes only.

**Trigger Warnings: Implied Stalking/Being Watched

Word Count: 3,566

Taglist: @lolawassad @letskidaddle @youngbeansprout @bakuhoes-dumbass @cupidcreates

"Okay, so here's what I'm thinking." You glanced up from your computer for a moment, pausing in writing the few reports Tamaki had asked you for to give Kendo the small amount of attention you knew would be needed for her to continue talking.

Her casual drone, when comfortable, made for nice background noise and gave you a sense of peace.

"You could always move in with me! Sure, you may have to deal with Monoma every once in a while, but he's mellowed out a bit since we graduated so he isn't as much of a nuisance as he used to be." The thought made you scoff, but gave you a tiny bit of hope for the blonde man. Even with as much hate as he spewed at your fellow classmates, you had a small soft spot for him. As far as you could recall, you were one of the few that he had actually confided in when it came to his quirk insecurity - whether a copying quirk was a good fit for hero work or not, and not having much support about it in his childhood. Sometimes it made you wonder, a little dejectedly, if he had been making a jab at your own quirk. Sure it wasn't anything fancy like Hawks' was, but you liked it well enough.

"You of all people know I don't actually mind being around him, Itsuka." You huffed a laugh and went back to typing, "Besides, I can tell you right now I'm not a good roommate. Partially due to my quirk and partially due to how much I enjoy being alone sometimes."

"Oh please, if I could handle you in the UA dorms, I can handle you in a regular living situation." You could almost feel the force of her eye roll as you hear her flop back onto your bed. You glance at the clock to check the time before continuing to type, making a silent promise to finish this one report and send what you have done while promising Tamaki you would finish the rest tomorrow.

You wanted at least a few hours with your friend while she was here, you know?

"Honestly, I think you only managed that because of Monoma and Tetsutetsu." You smirk and glance her way again. Again, she scoffed and waved a hand dismissively as she turned her attention to her phone. Once more, back to the paperwork grind, you pushed through the last few sentences before sending them off to their respective destinations.

"Oh. There was one other thing I wanted to ask about." You swivel to face Kendo, frowning as she sat up and gave you the most serious look you've seen on her the entire day.

"What's up?"

"Are you really okay living here? With all the gang activity?"

The sudden weight of her questions caused a slight tension to rise over your body and your expression to fall a touch. You turned away from her as you thought of an answer, staring blankly at your keyboard. You could hear her shifting - uncomfortably, you assumed - as she tried to wait patiently for your response.

It was hard to think of an answer that didn't sound like there was some lie to it. Sure, you were used to the gangs, and appreciated that they didn't make your life as much of hell as they probably could… but that didn't mean you were entirely comfortable with them getting away with strong arming innocent civilians just because they knew the local heroes weren't supported enough to be able to stand up confidently and fully against them.

In all honesty, you had half a mind sometimes to leave Tamaki's agency and join the local one to add some backbone to the force.

"It's alright… it's not exactly what I would really want, but it's what I can afford at the moment.” You pause and give a shrug, “And the gangs haven’t been too bad recently. Just wish the hero agency in this area had a bit more support so they could actually do something about it all.”

Kendo was quiet as she took in your words, and with your attention away from her, her expression neutralized. It would have been easy for you to see the thoughts that swirled behind her eyes; thinking of how she could help and who she could talk to about either easing the situation in your neighborhood or getting you to move elsewhere. Having known you since your schooling days, she knew you were a stubborn one - she could almost put you on par with Midorya and Bakugo, if she were being completely honest.

Maybe a talk with Nejire was in order.

She forced a smile on her lips as she stood and went over, humming as she placed a hand on your shoulder. You looked up at her, finding a soft smile coming easy to you in response to her own.

“Well, while you figure out what you want to really do - don’t lie to me, I can tell you’re thinking about it - remember you have a plethora of people who have your back if you ever wanna move out.”

You sigh and nod, softly mentioning Tamaki’s offer to help you move closer to his agency. There was a sudden, but subtle, stiffness in her hand, though before you could really question it, she relaxed and moved away towards the bedroom door.

“Why haven’t you taken him up on it yet? Oh, and did you want any tea?” She pauses at the door, waiting for your answer. You hum and nod, standing to follow her to the kitchen. This small moment made you glad she still felt comfortable enough with you to know she could make use of your home-space as if it were her own.

“I don’t know… if I’m being honest, I just really don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage of his kindness. Like, getting me an entire house? That’s a lot - way too much! I could never just casually go ‘oh sure, thanks boss!’ to something like that.” You hoisted yourself up onto the counter, swinging your legs a little as you watch Kendo shuffling around getting the kettle and mugs set up. She raised a brow and glanced your way for a moment as she turned the oven on to start boiling the water.

“A house? I thought his offer was for an apartment.” You make an elongated noise, accompanied by the shrug of your shoulders and one of your hands swaying side to side in a ‘maybe’ gesture.

“House, apartment… he’s offered a few different options, including moving in with him,” Again you shrug, “But, again, it's nothing that I can easily accept from him. Not only do I not wanna  seem like a burden that needs to be protected, but I also don’t want to step on his toes and feel like I’m taking advantage of his kindness.”

She seemed to fall quiet in her thoughts as she watched the kettle, waiting for the whistle to signal that the water was ready. You let yourself relax a little further and rest your head against the edge of the cabinets while surveying the rest of the kitchen casually. Would it really be so bad if you decided to take one of them up on their offer to move in? Well, Tamaki did offer first - but Kendo was, as you felt, a closer friend. Glancing up at the ceiling, you contemplated if there had been anyone else that you could recall offering you a place to stay that wasn’t infested with more gang activity than a single hero could handle; you pull a blank as the kettle begins to whistle. Kendo picks it up and softly asks you to hold the tea bag strings in place as she pours. You were glad to do it; it gave your mind something else to focus on, and your hands something to do.

“I don’t think he would ever consider it as being taken advantage of. He is the one that offered in the first place.” She smiled and set the kettle on a cool stove burner before picking up and handing you one of the mugs. You gave her a soft thanks, accompanied by a roll of your eyes.

“That is true, but he is still my boss. If it isn’t the thought of taking advantage of his kindness, then I could only imagine what the more immature members of the agency would think if they caught wind.” That got a responsive giggle as the red haired girl shook her head almost wildly; you were pretty sure that if she hadn’t had that cup of tea in her hands, pressed against her chest, she would be waving her hands all over the place.

“I don’t even want to think about that! I’ve seen some of the members of your agency - I’m honestly surprised Suneater hasn’t said anything to them about their behaviour yet.” For some reason, her calling Tamaki by his hero name gave you pause to ponder slightly - had you been the only one to call him by his name this entire time? And why did it feel weird to hear him being referred to as anything beyond his name? You shake the thoughts before you could dive too far down that specific rabbit hole.

“I’m not sure, but I do recall him talking to a few at one point. Must’ve been really bad considering how they ended up acting like absolutely perfect angels after their private conversation with him.” You sipped your tea and let your mind wander again for a moment. What had those few done that caused Tamaki to actually reprimand them like he had, and not any of the other kinds of offenders? Kendo shrugged and took a sip of her own tea. However, before she could speak, her phone began to ring from the bedroom. Excusing herself, she set down her mug and darted off to answer it - you hoped you hadn’t kept her for too long. She hadn’t even mentioned if she was on call for hero work today or not before coming over to hang out.

You continued to nurse your tea, carefully leaping down from the counter so as not to knock her mug over in the process or spill any of yours.  You meander  into the living room and ponder if you wanted to either watch TV or grab a book to read. Or, as the thought came, you could go grab your own phone and either mindlessly scroll through social media or read fanfiction of your favorite shows and movies. You had a bit of a guilty pleasure when it came to reader inserts - though you weren’t sure why you called it guilty when it was a perfectly acceptable form of written media for your consumption!

You turned towards the bedroom as Kendo came back out, a pout on her lips as she went to her mug to take a few more quick sips before dumping the rest. Your brows furrowed in silent question when she finally turned towards you.

“Got called in to help with a few rougher captures.” She sighed and shook her head, “Guess the newbies weren’t as well trained in the area as we thought they were.”

“That’s understandable, was anyone hurt?”

“No casualties yet, but if you want I can keep you up to date on the progress?” You nod and she smiled, returning it before striding over to grab her bag. Instead of her usual hug and verbal goodbyes, she gave you a quiet wave as she slipped out the door. You sigh and glance around the room again before sitting down and flicking the TV on to see if there was anything good on at the moment, or if you were going to have to switch over to one of your streaming services.

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩

The moment the door shut behind her, Kendo sighed and pulled her phone out to redial Nejire-Chan.

Hello~?

“Just left their apartment, everything seems to be fine.” She spoke softly as she moved away from the door, keeping her head down as an unexpectedly deep frown found a home on her lips. She heard Nejire hum from the other end for a moment or two before she spoke again.

I’m glad to hear it! Gotta make sure Suneater’s little star stays safe… though, you seem to be troubled by something? The question almost caused Kendo to laugh, even over the phone no one could keep even a single thought from the woman’s notice.

“Did you know he had offered them to move in with him?” There was a pause on the other end before a playful groan.

Seriously? Talk about a bold move - never would’ve expected something like that from him! There was a giggle But, at the same time, too forward of a question when he doesn’t even know if they like him back or not.

“Well, from the sounds of it, they were really giving it some thought after I offered to let them move in with me.” There was another giggle and the clicking of the lavender headed hero’s tongue.

Now, don’t go around making promises you can’t keep. You have orders to keep an eye on them, not make moves! This got a full laugh instead of the usual giggles as Kendo’s cheeks burned from a flustered embarrassment. She hadn’t thought about it like that when she first offered, but there was a flutter in her chest at the thought of the domestic kind of life she could have with one of her best friends. Did she have a crush on them? She wasn’t sure, and didn’t even know where to begin trying to figure that out. Instead, she cleared her throat and decided to pull the topic in a different direction.

“Have you heard word from Monoma yet about..?”

Not yet, but I’m sure it won’t take long for LeMillion and Deku to show back up on the radar. I’m still curious as to what they were needed for over in America. Kendo could practically hear the pout through the phone call, which brought the smile back to her lips and pulled her mind from her previous thoughts.

She looked around her before walking up to the bus stop and sitting down, wrapping her arms around her bag to keep it close to her chest while she swung her legs. She got an odd fulfilled sensation whenever her feet would scrape against the concrete beneath her.

“I’m sure they’ll tell us all about it when they come home - if it wasn’t too confidential at least.” Nejire-Chan hummed in agreement. As she heard the other hero take a breath to begin speaking again, there was a soft voice on the other end catching her attention. Nejire pardoned herself for a moment and lowered the phone just enough to muffle the conversation, though Kendo could still hear it relatively well. Just as she’d been told before, it was about those villains she had to help get put into the system.

At least she hadn’t needed to tell them a lie when she had to leave, now that she thought about it.

Hey, I need to talk to you later. Let me know when you make it in! As she was hanging up, Nejire’s voice could be heard instructing the sidekick on what they should do in regards to whatever the question was they had asked.

Pulling the phone fully from her ear, she glanced around the bus stop and down both ways of the street for any sign of the bus before looking back down at her phone to scroll through her camera roll on a whim, also because she figured it was better than pulling a book up and getting sucked into the story while she was supposed to be at least somewhat focused on watching for when the bus came.

It felt like so long since any of them were in UA, and she was glad she was able to get so many memories saved into her phone during their time… it also felt a little weird that, now that she was thinking about it, that she managed to still have the same phone that she had all through school. Just that responsible with it, she supposed.

Scrolling through, there were plenty of pictures of Class B - a decent chunk  of which were just evidence  of times when Tetsutetsu and Monoma would steal her phone for impromptu photo sessions with the rest of the class. The memories made her eyes roll with a fond smile on her lips; she hadn’t heard much from Tetsu in a while, but that was to be expected when he was constantly on the job with Kirishima. Meanwhile, it was nearly impossible for her to get away from…

She blinked in surprise, opening one photo she had no recollection of finding before now. It was a selfie of Monoma and Tetsu on either side of… them. All three of them were smiling wide, as though laughing about something, and Monoma actually, genuinely, looked happier than she had ever really seen him before. Her smile came back, fonder than before, and her cheeks flushed a soft pink. For all the trouble he caused them, she really couldn’t imagine not having him as a friend. Any of them, really. She cleared her throat and put her phone down to keep herself from going emotionally overboard from the nostalgia, and just in time for the bus to arrive as well.

✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩

The rush of the air outside the airplane cabin was calming, though his leg continued to jitter as he watched the clouds pass by. He was eager to get home and sleep in his own bed, patrol his own streets… see his friends. Needless to say, he was homesick, but he was on the track back home so it wasn’t too bad anymore. It had been months since they were last in Japan, and as much as he loved being over in America to learn and do some network connecting, he was more than ready to be back. Not to mention he was ready to have authentic Japanese  food again from his favorite restaurants . Maybe he could drop by his mom’s place and get something homemade…

“You’re looking a lot better there, Deku!” The green haired man blinked and looked up at his traveling companion, his smile brighter than the sun - as per usual. Deku returned the smile, though a softer version, and nodded.

“I’m excited to be back home. I wonder how everyone’s doing.” He turned back to the window as Mirio sat across from him and looked out his own window. One of the perks of being a top five pro hero: getting to take a private plane instead of flying commercial - not that there was anything wrong with it! He just… wasn’t comfortable with tight spaces with very little options for maneuverability.

“I’m sure they’re doing just fine, though I’m also sure you knew that.” Mirio chuckled and turned his attention to Deku, “Especially with how you’ve been constantly exchanging emails with almost everyone during our time abroad.” Deku laughed and rubbed the back of his head. It was hard not to constantly be checking for new messages during their away time. Was that clingy of him? He didn’t really think so, and he was pretty sure someone would’ve told him to chill out with the instant replies. Even Bakugo hadn’t told him off about how quick he was to respond, which was a little bit of a surprise.

“Fair. How has Suneater and Nejire-Chan been, by the way? I know you’ve been keeping up with them.” Deku turned from the window and looked at Mirio, who he was surprised to see had a conspiratorial  smile and was raising his eyebrows up and down.

“Nejire told me Tamaki has a crush on one of his sidekicks!” The blonde was moving to pull out his phone to flip through his messages while Deku tried to pick up his jaw from the floor.

“That’s great! Who is it?” Mirio held his phone out to him. On the screen was a picture of Tamaki and a hero dressed in a black and white suit with white owl wings.

“She hasn’t given me their name yet, wanting me to introduce myself to them in person first so I don’t spook them or let on that they were talked about behind their back. Not that talking about a friend’s crush is all that unusual.” Mirio chuckled and shrugged as Deku handed back the phone. He smiled and nodded.

“It would probably be odd if you called them out by name without them having met you before.”

The two continued to talk, from the mystery hero to how the agencies were doing and the crime rates that they’ve been hearing about. Not to mention going over profits from their side hustle and how things were going on that front… though, it was a little hard to focus on the rest of it when the hero Tamiki was pictured with kept slipping into his thoughts.

He would probably have to go with Mirio to greet them when they landed…

[galaxythreads]

To be honest, I don't know. If you'd asked me a few years ago I would have honestly said no and been kind of offended anyone could hold Loki accountable for anything. But the thing is - now, after a lot of therapy, I don't think that mental illness or distress is an excuse for hurting people unless it is a genuine psychosis. If I was Loki's lawyer, which I'm not, I would say he was experiencing temporary insanity (a type of psychosis sort of) at the end of Thor 1.

But here's the thing, even if Loki wasn't really aware that what he was doing was wrong - did he still hurt the people around him? Yes. He did. Thor will carry lifelong mental scars from that fight. So to me, it's a gray area. Loki may not have understood what he was doing was wrong per se, but Thor was still hurt anyway. And this is not, in any way, a trade-off. Thor has hurt Loki in the movie, so Loki gets one free pass for all that he did to Thor? No. Not how this works. You don't get to hurt someone just because they hurt you. Like that works in fiction as motivation because it's fiction. Thor was hurt, and Loki was hurt. Their relationship is a mess and that was the point of the movie. They both hurt each other.

In the Avengers, Loki's official, MCU given body count may be 80-160ish people, but what about injuries? Mental trauma in the aftermath? Grieving loved ones? That's a minimum of 1000+ people affected.

And here's a not-so-secret secret: I don't think Loki was mind controlled in A1. I don't.

I know MCU has said Loki was being influenced by the scepter, but what does that even mean? They've never explained and Loki doesn't behave the same way that Clint or co did when they were mind-controlled. The scepter clearly has WEIRD effects on people, but what that means for Loki is ?????? They've never explained that further than a couple of sentences and before I accept this as being like canon-canon, I have to know what that means.

I will happily die on the hill that he was tortured by Thanos -- you will pull that from my dead, rotting fingers -- and that is a type of coercion that would absolve a lot of guilt, but I do and don't think Loki bares some responsibility for the invasion. I don't know. It's a gray area. I like the idea that Loki was tortured and then he agreed to attack New York to escape it. Mostly because I'm not afraid to wrap characters in darkness. I think Loki is allowed to have done something awful to escape something equally awful. Gray area. I'm not afraid to poke at the gray area.

But the thing is? Even if Loki 100% absolutely bares blame for Thor 1 and Avengers 1, canon matters very little to me in MCU anymore. They haven't given me anything I was happy to accept into my personal canon since Infinity War. I write fics with whatever now. I characterize Loki off of OG Loki and will continue to do so until I die, sometimes I put in that he was mind-controlled, more often than not I don't. I write Loki as a good person who did an awful thing to escape a worse thing that defines the rest of their existence but they're still trying to be a good person anyway. When I engage with Thor 1, I write Loki as having gone through a massive psychosis, but still having hurt Thor. I write Thor and Loki's relationship as both of them having hurt the other but still willing to burn down worlds for each other. Y'know, just a tad (lot) unhealthy. (But in a fun way because this is fiction and no one is hurt by it). Like my version of canon is slightly detached from canon and I know that, but like? I don't care. No one cares? Do you know the amount of comments I've gotten about a character being ooc in the last 1-2 years in MCU?

0.

Because what even is canon at this point? I could write Loki as literally anything and there would be a canon justification for it because Loki's canon characterization is such a mess now that there's no "correct" version of him anymore.

Like guys -- I write about Hela being a good sister. Do you think canon backs that? Absolutely not. Do I care? No?????? no I don't. She, Thor, and Loki are the best siblings in my heart and I will continue to write about that despite what canon says.

Once I let go of the idea that every character I like is secretly a 100% moral human being who is free of any guilt or terrible things, it relieved a lot of guilt and expectations I have for the characters. One of my main characters in my original book series has a body count in the actual millions and I absolutely adore them, okay? Because it's fiction. No one is hurt by me liking this character. I'm not going to start advocating for death. I've liked Loki since I was 15, and I didn't grow up to be a murderer. Honestly, now I kind of prefer the little bit of darkness because redemption stories are just my Thing TM. I love, love taking the dark or dark-adjacent characters and then dragging them into a found family against their will.

So I don't need Loki to be free of all guilt in order to like him. But I'm also happy to explore the idea that he is because it's fun either way. Darkness or less darkness, he's still just Loki.

(That's why I'm having fun with the Loki season 2. Because to me it's like a fic that took one interpretation of what happened and rolled with it. Because canon is whatever at this point. Loki in the series did attack New York by choice. Does that strictly agree with canon of A1? No. Absolutely not. They're ignoring so much, but the series isn't about that event specifically even as much as I wish it WAS, it's about Loki's relationship with the other characters. Idk. It's complicated.)

Fics are often a love letter to canon, an exploration/extension of what canon is, but other times they're someone looking at canon and going "WHY." and then rewriting it. I'm in the latter part now. I used to be the former, but MCU is just. MCU now. So I kind of looked at Loki and Thor, took a cookie cutter to both of them and then left with that. There's still other dough, but I don't care about it.

So yes I hold him accountable. And no. And kind of both?

[mightymizora]

between the Ketheric posting and the writing posting: what is your process like? I wish to study your brain.

Haaa well the short answer is it's mental illness babyyyy.

But I can answer this somewhat seriously about how things unravel for me personally!

Putting under a cut for length.

Step one, idea. This idea honestly usually doesn't survive until the end of the process. Stonemilker's first scene was supposed to be a one off short about gort liking boobs and it spiralled out from the dynamic I started XD but it's usually one sentence.

Blood and Bone, Bone and Blood is a good example piece for process so I'll go back to that, and the question was around what kind of gender and sexual politics might exist between a woman chosen and Ketheric, given his issues with his daughter and hers with her father? And that stayed.

I then do the sketch of the piece. This is where I work out what sort of scenes I want to look at. If it's one scene, I'll write an opening sentence and a few "holding" sentences throughout. If it's multiple scenes I'll do one per section. Blood and Bone still has a few of these holding sentences in the text! It's kind of an outline, but it's not just saying what the action is, it's more of something that will evoke the "feel" of the scene so I can return to it. Like a sense-memory or pre-mixing a colour on a palette to add water to again.

I don't work linearly, ever. I can't. I do the bits that I tune into on the day until I've done all the bits that came naturally. Then I reach what I think of as the tipping point. It's usually when things are anything between 40%-50% done and it feels both a) unsurmountable and b) still quite unformed.

This is where I have to roll up the sleeves and work through stuff. I try not to redraft as I go... and always fail at this. This point is where I write dialogue in bits and then bump up action around it. I might have to cut scenes I loved because they're holding up the flow of the piece. The hardest work comes here. This can take a day, or it can take six months!

Then when I get between 70%-80% done it becomes smoother again usually! I usually know the rhythm of a piece enough to kind of just tune in. I have a final checklist of scenes to finish. It becomes much more oh, to get from point a to point c, b needs to happen. Blood and Bone is very sparse, so you can really easily see those little connecting points I think!

Then when it's drafted, it's usually done. I'm not a big re-drafter, which is something I'm actively on a learning journey on this year because I need to learn that skill very much. I'll go through, sense check, change a few words usually, and then we're done!

Is it a perfect process? Definitely not. It's productive for fic but my original work suffers for it (I get a lot of feedback of "I feel you said this bit for yourself" or "You're talking around the action, can this be more present?" and then trying to redraft it is impossibly hard!)

But yeah. That's kind of it!

[unromancable-favs]

A BUNCH of dark brotherhood incorrect quotes i got from the generator

listener: If I ever had a child, I imagine they would be a lot like you.

astrid: Aww, thanks—

listener: Which is probably why I’ve never reproduced.

----

astrid: Okay, can we all stop saying stupid shit for a moment, please?!

arnbjorn: Alright.

cicero: Hey, I-

astrid: SHUT UP!

cicero: I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED MY SENTENCE!!

arnbjorn: It was bound to be stupid.

----

listener: cicero, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?

cicero: It... It didn't take me the whole day...

----

listener, looking at their reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?

cicero: Well, that's you.

listener: Me?! Is that what I look like?

cicero: You don't know?

listener: Busy day.

----

arnbjorn: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?

veezara: Never seen one.

arnbjorn: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real.

veezara: What can’t I see?

arnbjorn: You can’t see gravity. That’s real.

veezara: Yeah, I can drop an apple.

arnbjorn: Fuck.

----

cicero: Astrology is fun because i can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.

nazir: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That’s not hate it’s just a fact.

----

listener: What are you eating?

nazir: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty.

listener: I like you, don't I?

----

astrid: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-

astrid: *sees cicero shoving veezara into the washing machine while listener records and nazir watches*

astrid: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

(doesnt really make sense, but if it were a modern au? 👌)

----

cicero: What’s sexting?

astrid: I'm not having this conversation with you.

----

arnbjorn: Would you rather kill cicero, or—

astrid: Yes, kill them.

arnbjorn: I didn’t say the other thing—

astrid: I don’t need to hear it.

cicero: …I’m feeling a little unsafe.

----

cicero: *writing a letter*

cicero: Dear Santa,

I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...

And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

----

cicero: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

----

nazir, to the rest of the brotherhood: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

----

cicero: If you see me talking to myself, go away! I’m self-employed and we’re having a staff meeting!

----

listner: That shirt looks great, astrid.

astrid: Thanks.

listner: But I bet it would look even better on arnbjorn's floor.

arnbjorn: Are you hitting on astrid... for me?

----

nazir, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want?

babette: Blue flavor!

nazir: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry?

babette: Blue flavor! Blue flavor!

nazir: Blue is not a flavor!

babette: BLUE FLAVOR!

----

astrid: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.

arnbjorn, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

----

listener: Nice rock.

cicero: Thanks, nazir gave it to me.

nazir: I threw it at you!

cicero: Aren't they the sweetest?

----

nazir, to cicero: All right, let’s tell each other a secret about ourselves. I’m going to go first– I hate you.

----

nazir: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done.

astrid: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real.

nazir: They're not.

astrid: Haha, very funny.

nazir: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?

astrid: No... what happened?

nazir: ...Why would you fall for this again-

(nazir is a girlboss)

----

listner: I was put on this earth to do one thing.

listner(LDB): Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.

----

nazir: Okay, what does A stand for?

babette: Arson.

nazir: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for?

babette: Barson.

astrid: *laughter*

nazir: What stands for C?

babette: Commit arson.

astrid: Oooo. nazir: D!

babette: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson.

astrid: *more laughter*

----

nazir: I just heard babette call the dog a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there.

(By the dog he means arnbjorn/j)

----

*cicero is comforting arnbjorn*

cicero: Stop crying because it’s over. Start smiling because astrid is someone else’s problem now.

----

listner: Hey, cicero, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

cicero: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

listner: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

cicero: Can't really say I have.

listner: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

cicero: Sorry, listner. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Hii! Thank you for all ur works, it really makes my day when I read or reread your posts, and I hope you’re doing well💚 lately (months) my friends have been ditching last minute, so ig the prompt would be s/o has friends that are rude and mean (doesn’t have to be that specifically, it could just be a rude stranger) and (these are the characters) ningguang, yae, Jean, lisa and yelan stand up for them and comfort them… I need some comfort🥲

Them standing up to a rude stranger for you

Characters: Yae Miko/Jean x gn!reader (separate)

Warnings: none

a/n: I’m sorry, but I had to leave out Yelan, Ningguang and Lisa, I’ve been sitting here for the past 3 days already and honestly have no idea how to start for them or what to write afterwards, so I hope you’re fine with just Jean and Yae, if not then I’m once again really sorry.

I also hope that what I wrote matches what you envisioned, if I got something wrong or misunderstood anything, feel free to tell me and I’ll try again when I got the time.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Yae Miko

While most people would dream of not having to interact with rude people in their day to day lives, Yae couldn’t help but feel somewhat conflicted about everyone being on their best behaviour around her, trying their best to either suck up to her or blend into the background and be overlooked by the Guuji, terrified of what would happen if they weren’t. That being said, turning the table on people thinking it would be a good idea to be rude to her was far more enjoyable than her usual toying around with people. Seeing their faces change as she dismantled their confidence was already far more worth to her than gold could ever be.

So when she walked through the streets of Inazuma one day, only to spot you trying your best to act normal when there was a stranger being rude to you, Yae didn’t even have to think twice about intervening, and while her primary motivation was to help you out, it would have been a lie for her to deny that she wasn’t excited about the prospect of finally getting to deal with a rude person again.

While having another person be rude at you for no reason was something you could live without, what happened after Yae turned up to the scene, almost startling you as much as the other person with her sudden appearance, somehow was even worse to witness. Sure, while there might have been a part of you somewhat happy at seeing someone acting so ill-mannered to you, you gradually lost the feeling of witnessing someone’s comeuppance, when you realised that Yae seemed to enjoy this a bit too much, even for her standards.

By the time you had managed to convince Yae to stop, most of the people around you silently looked at the three of you from a distance, no one being brave enough to interfere or even say a word as they saw their fellow citizen’s ego getting dismantled piece by piece, until not even you felt anything but pity towards them, the Guuji finally letting them leave as you couldn’t help but follow the shell of a former human with your eyes.

“W-What did you do?”, you couldn’t help but ask out loud, only to regret it just a split second later, suddenly fearing that she might still be in the mood for doing what she just did to another person.

“It’s called: ‘standing up for someone’, something I have to do for you if you don’t know how to do it yourself. I don’t even want to imagine what plans people would come up with when they saw that they could get away with treating the Guuji’s partner like a punching bag”, Yae responded in an amused tone, almost seeming like a completely other person than just a few moments ago.

“I know. But did you have to do this so… I mean, couldn’t you have done this less-”, you tried to finish your sentence, only for Yae to quickly interrupt you with a small chuckle.

“What? Jealous?”, she teased, either in an attempt to surprise and confuse you, or to cut you off and move on to a different subject. Though, since it was the Yae Miko you were talking about, it was very likely that it was a weird combination of both.

Either way, she turned out successful, as the silence that followed only ended when Yae signalled you to follow her before starting a different conversation.

Jean

Luckily for Jean, she didn’t have to deal with rude people in her day to day life, most knights and citizens on Mondstadt holding her in such a high regard that they’d probably chase anyone talking ill about her out of the city themselves, and while the negotiations with the Fatui she had to attend from time to time weren’t the most pleasant and often got plagued with passive aggressive remarks from either side, they weren’t outride rude.

That being said, the same could not be said about the other knights’ situation. And while there weren’t many that had ill feelings towards them, Mondstadt had a well-deserved reputation as a nation with a love for alcoholic beverages, and if there was one thing that had the potential to turn people’s normal behaviour into rude one, it was just that. Alcohol.

As Jean looked over the aftermath of yet another of Mondstadt’s popular festivals, with the sound of people celebrating still lurking in the background and the stench of all the consumed alcohol filling the air, she couldn’t help but feel somewhat lucky about not having decided to patrol the streets during the height of the celebrations, knowing all too well that looking over a crowd of drinking people could be very difficult at times. That being said, there was also a lot of guilt being felt about having others do such a demanding job, when all she had to do was fill out yet another mountain of paperwork in her office, especially once she spotted what looked like a knight having to deal with one of the remaining attendees, not sober enough to act polite while being too drunk to care. And while Jean already made her way over, she caught herself picking up pace when she realised that the knight in question was none other than you.

“I know that there just was a big festival and a lot to drink, but that is no reason to act so rude towards anyone, especially a Knight of Favonius”, Jean made her presence known, only for the drunk almost snap at her in response.

“And who are you to- Oh, Acting Grandmaster Jean… I’m sorry, I… didn’t notice it was you”, they were—relatively—quick to apologise, Jean immediately following up.

“Is there a problem I can help with, or is everything cleared up now?”, she asked before glancing towards you, only for the other person to follow her look and do the same.

“They were simply asking for direction, so there’s no need for you to do anything, acting Grandmaster”, you lied, simply wanting for this situation to end as quickly as possible as you could honestly feel yourself growing exhausted from today’s work, the drunk person quickly using the opportunity to play along and make their way out of there.

“I’m sorry for having you and the others put up with all of this, I wish I could have helped, but there was a lot of paperwork for me to do”, the acting Grandmaster apologised, only for you to quickly shake your head.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. Although I have to admit that this is job a bit exhausting”, you assured her before letting out a small yawn. “I actually planned on inviting you for a drink afterwards, but seeing as I reckon that most people still there probably had one too many glasses to drink, I suddenly don’t feel like going anymore”, you half-joked, only for Jean to shoot you a small smile.

“I would say you did enough today, lets tell the others and then go home.”

//Please consider liking and reblogging if you liked this post

[catgirl-catboy]

sorry if this comes off as rude or in bad faith but i'm interested in hearing your reasons on why you dislike saiouma? again, not trying to be rude, i'm just interested since it's one of the big popular ships and i think you have interesting danganronpa takes

@crowssoul2 sent another ask with the same idea, so allow me to respond to them both here instead of trying to cut an essay in half.

Nah! You didn't seem rude at all! I am more than happy to overanalyze Danganronpa, since I love Danganronpa to death. I am just as happy to be asked what I thought they failed @ then to be asked what I liked. Hell, I'll even enjoy civil discussion about why you disagree with my takes. (except maybe my take on the great Chihiro discourse, since bystanders always get pissy at that one)

Also, to preface this, this is a ship and let ship blog. I'm glad all you Saiouma shippers are having fun. Also, I love all the ship art you make. If you enjoy what we got, this isn't a personal attack. Honestly, I wish I were one of you since there's so much more content that way.

I feel like I dislike Saiouma because their canon dynamic went against the themes of the work. Kokichi, as a character, represents lies, which is one of the major themes of Drv3. (The same way Makoto represents hope and Junko represents despair) This seems really obvious to say, but is important to my point. A characters relationship with Kokichi should mirror their relationship with lies.

A good example of this done right is Kaito. Listen, his writing irks me, but his relationship with Kokichi is one of my favorite things about him. (Still can't get behind Oumota bc of Kaito's personality, but that doesn't mean I dislike the foils OR the shippers)

Kaito pretends to hate lies, as heroes should. But his heroic personality is in fact, a lie he tells. Not out of malice, but because that's who he wants to be. (Think Kaito:Hero as Gundam:Dark God) He lies to protect people, and hide his illness. As a result, he's willing to work with Kokichi to... protect Maki, conceal his identity, (which includes hiding his illness) and from a certian POV, be a hero! It makes perfect sense.

Another good example of this is Maki. She hates Kokichi, because she hates lies. Her hatred of Kokichi is actually tied to him revealing one of her lies, a lie that was causing her quite a lot of stress. But... she also directly benefits from Kokichi. He saved her life. Unrelated tangent (sarcasm), what was revealed to be a lie in Ch6? Her feelings for Kaito. Let me rephrase that sentence: She hates LIES but she also directly benefits from them (her feelings for Kaito improving her mental health)

I wish that theme carried over into other characters the same way it did for those two. There are some other parallels I can draw (Ryoma liking Kokichi to an extent, Kirumi playing tag with him) but those two are the most obvious and explicit.

So its sad that characters with a complicated relationship with lies don't also have a complicated relationship with Kokichi, the embodiment of lies.

Himiko lives a lie. Lying is needed for her job. But her lies almost got her killed in chapter 2, and Tenko going along with her lie doesn't help. How does this reflect in her interactions with Kokichi? It doesn;t.

Kaede lied to us, the motherfucking audience. Honestly, thats arguably just as impressive as Kokichi ever pulled. What is her relationship with Kokichi? Kokichi acts sort of like a mentor figure to HER in the tunnels, and stands up against her. I like that, but give that plot beat to someone else. (Kaito makes the most sense, but give it to Tenko since I love her.)

Danganronpa itself is a lie, a work of fiction. And Tsumugi is obsessed with it.

In fact, this applies to the v3 casts dynamic with Kokichi as a whole. Almost everyone dislikes and distrusts Kokichi, despite the big reveal of being liars themselves. I'd write it as "everyone pretends to hate Kokichi (lies), but actually don't mind him that much. However, they think everyone else hates Kokichi so they go along with the group." to foreshadow the big reveal that they themselves are lies told by Tsumugi.

And Shuichi suffers from this the most.

Shuichi's Ch1 arc is summed up by "Shuichi learns to face the truth for the first time with that case, and stops averting his eyes." In other words, on the Truth vs Lies scale, Shuichi begins the series aligned with LIES.

The rest of the game shows Shuichi gradually becoming a paragon of Truth to go against Kokichi's lies- ONLY FOR IT TO BE REVEALED IN CH6 THAT HE HIMSELF IS A LIE.

That he is, a fictional character and a pawn in someone elses game. It then becomes a Schrodinger's cat on the alignment scale I mentioned earlier. Was Shuichi's journey to the Truth end of the scale fake or not?

The game settles upon a hesitant no at the end of it, (I disagree, since the games mechanics tell a different story) when Shuichi ventures out into the world with the other survivors to find the truth upon whats out there.

Thats a HECK of a complicated relationship with lies. It should equal a heck of a complicated relationship with Kokichi, right? WRONG.

The canon Saiouma dynamic is basically

"Kokichi likes and teases Saihara, while Shuichi is annoyed by Kokichi until his death, when he gradually begins to come around. Despite this, Kokichi (and the lie mechanic) is surprisingly helpful in trials"

(actually the localization changed this quite a bit, but I'm going off the English version since this is what I actually played. That being said, its a fascinating topic that you should look into if you're as obsessed as I am.)

While the fanon is more akin to:

"Shuichi gradually gets drawn in by Kokichi and learns to accept his quirks."

(maybe shippers will disagree with me about those dynamics, since again, not my cup of tea.)

Meanwhile a Saiouma dynamic I can get behind is:

"Shuichi is drawn in by Kokichi (lies), and feels a sort of magnetism to him. But he knows it isn't a good idea, and he knows it isn't right. Kokichi's feelings are unclear at first due to his nature, but it turns out he has a love-hate relationship with Shuichi (truth). He'll rely on him sometimes, but rebuff him at others with seemingly no logic from his end."

In other words, I'd do a semi-reversal of the canon dynamic.

NOTE: I am not saying I'm a writing genius or anything. Hindsight is 20/20, and I'm sure if Kodaka could magically remake his games he'd stomp my rewrite to the ground.

You asked why I dislike it, and that's my explanation. But please allow me to go a step further and speculate why things are this way.

At about the same time you sent me your ask, my good friend Crow sent me this:

"I don't like Saiouma because well Komahina is exactly what the black romance should be while Saiouma is just feels like another Shuichi ship. Do you get my point?

Shuichi and Hajime is entirely different characters while Komaeda and Kokichi different af too like, they can't hit the Komahina dynamic like they intended to do, this is why Saiouma is just another Shuichi ship while Komahina is THE SHIP.

If you want to do a homoerotic Shuichi ship who would be the next Komahina you shouldn't do that with Kokichi at all, maybe Rantaro? But Rantaro isnt work well too like there is no Komaeda for him to work the Komahina. Saiouma felt poorly executed idea of a black romance, if I need to be honest Oumaede would be more fitting for the Komahina dynamic despite Kaede is just pov character.

So yeah there is no Komahina in drv3 because they tried to play the same tropes with very different characters and very different stories, I even felt more interested in Saihoshi despite Ryoma only been around 2 chapters than Kokichi. That is the problem in here"

I felt like I can't answer one of these asks without referencing what I said in the other ask, so I just both answered them both together. (no hard feelings?)

In case you haven't read Homestuck (wise call, honestly) Black romance is basically non-sexual hatefucking. Usually, there's an undertone of mutual respect, but not always. Felt like that context was important.

Komeada and Kokichi ARE different characters. From a narrative standpoint, Komeada completely turns existing themes like Hope and Talent into complex issues in the Drverse, while in THH they were pretty black and white. Meanwhile, Kokichi's introduction is the introduction to the theme of truth vs lies.

In other words (Makoto is to Nagito (and later to Hajime and Izuru) as Kokichi is to Shuichi) The second takes the theme from the first, and massively expands on it! ...Despite Shuichi and Kokichi being in the same game.

Despite this, the reason people think they are similar is because Kokichi piggybacks too hard on Nagito and Komahina's success.

What does Nagito have in common with Togami, other than being an antagonistic force. Not much, actually! Togami fucked up a corpse while Nagito fucked up his own body, and that distinction is all that needs to be said I think.

Togami would look down upon Nagito if they ever met, and Nagito'd be into that.

What does Kokichi have in common with Nagito?

They want to make an unsolvable murder in which poison was involved and they got someone to kill them.

They both have a one sided crush on their protagonist, that the protagonist doesn't think exists. (Kokichi confessed, but perks of being a chronic liar)

They both are the MVP in almost every trial they are in, with one notable exception for each of them. Thats... kind of a lot, actually! I do think they are noticeably different characters, especially on a thematic level, but I can see why people notice that. I can also see why people would find that bad! Nagito was the star of Dr2, hands down. If you were one of the few people that isn't a total Nagito simp, then a very simmilar character getting screentime might be annoying since you have Nagito fatigue from the last game. and if you are a Nagito simp, then Kokichi will likely never be his own dude with so much in common. You'll see him as a lesser Nagito and want him back. I agree with Crow when he says "Saiouma just feels like another ship. I found it hard to articulate why I feel that paradoxically feels like a rip-off of another ship I liked, but also had no bite to it. And then it hit me. Until Chapter four, Kokichi never did anything that warranted Nagito levels of hatred. (of course, this is entirely subjective. I hate Kaito pretty much for being annoying and fitting into tropes I dislike without commenting on it. If you think this is enough to hate Kokichi, power to you!) By the end of chapter one of Dr2, Nagito:

Attempted to 1st degree murder a fan-favorite character, with a deliberately confusing and unsympathetic (at this point in time) motive to do so.

Goaded another character (that most fans hated, but still) into committing that murder FOR him. The only time we ever saw that level of insanity was Celeste, and Teruteru is no Hifumi in terms of gullibility. (Celeste had plot armor anyway.)

Sat back and monologues while everyone's ass was on the line. If Hajime and the others voted wrong, everyone would have died.

Showed NO remorse over any of it. Seemed to enjoy it.

This one is more meta but: he shows despair eyes, which previously were only seen on the big bad of the first game. Characters have every reason to hate the guy. Soda and Nekomaru were absolutely correct in taking him out, and I'd argue that you should maybe go father by putting him in a public area and gagging his mouth unless it's mealtime. Meanwhile, by chapter three, Kokichi has:

Stood up to Kaede in the tunnels, which most students agree was the right call.

Showed emotions over Rantaro's death, but due to his lying they can't be sure if they were genuine.

Was civil (if a bit wierd) to Kaede right before her execution.

Bullied Kiibo. Yes, bullying is- bad but look me in the eye and tell me its worse than murder. You can't.

Shared the motive videos in the insect meet and greet. This is the major strike against him, but its reasonable to assume he did this with good intentions.

While doing that, tortured them with bugs when it wasn't really needed for the plan to work.

(okay, this one didn't actually happen and I will die on this hill, but the main group thinks it did so I'm counting it) Tricked Gonta into helping with his plans.

Saved our asses in the second trial.

Saved our asses in the post-trial portion of chapter 2

Not joined a cult that was forming in our school. Also did not stop Gonta from joining the cult, which doesn't point to a pattern of controlling behavior from Shuichi's POV.

Was key in getting to Angie's body. Pun intended.

Helped out during the seance.

While arguably not the MVP in trial 3, he still contributed a great deal. Do those lists of crimes seem equal to you? It takes Kokichi 3 chapters to do something that is, at most, Hiyoko level. Maybe Byakuya level, but thats pushing it. Yet, the characters treat Nagito and Kokichi with about equal annoyance and disdain. The v3 cast, of course, doesn't know that Nagito exists. But we, the players, know. Its like we got prologue Nagito for almost four chapters, but prologue Nagito was also kind of a bitch? But also possibly well-meaning and OP as fuck. This concludes my analysis! Do you agree? Disagree? I'd love to hear thoughts.

[coldheartsbreakboys]

ill start this by saying i understand @its-actually-minicika said the matter with @blackdreamspeaks is over and done but i literally cant let go of some things she said.

((also english is my second language so im sorry if i make mistakes 🤡 i will put this under the cut but i really think people should read this))

here is the problem. she said that she, takes the blame for what happened but she posts this after not even a full day of calling out that she did something wrong

there are no multiple sides to this story girl like none at all. it is literally the fact that you took content from mini/mina without credit and after you apologised you didnt even own it uppp. you said it was a coincidence and that you maybe took inspiration from her from the unconcious which is such a dumb excuse.

yesterday i sent you an ask with screenshots of compared writing from mini that she posted 2 months ago and stuff you posted 2 days ago. and it was clear you took the sentence from her without even an edit. you also used the same insult she used with hw aemond for your aemond. which is again really shitty and so clear because only she uses it.

i didnt compare everything you wrote in your update to hw because it is very long and i think that even those two things are enough to prove this point. it is not fair that you took from mini but then not even apologise in truth. you cant say this was a coincidence. you cant say this isnt done with intent. she is a very nice person and she deserves a real apology where you actually say that, yes you copied from her but that you re very sorry.

i waited for you to at least answer my ask if you were actually sorry and assuming your blame. because i wanted to give you the benefit of doubt and let you prepare your answer. sadly you never replied but i still have the screenshots even after your edit.

>

so this one is yours.

>

and this one is from minis series.

there was also the insult as i said but i didnt take screenshots of it before you edited. but the insult was 'whithered cunt' which mini wrote in the first part of hw and that was a long time ago.

you guys can cancel me if you want and whatever i honestly dont care because i am a small blog and i tbh dont even post. threaten to doxx or send me mean dms I fr dont careee

this is a post that i made for both mini and me because she deserves a real apology and you didnt give her that and also because i am honestly very angry. i think most people also dont know what happened because you never released the screenshots in my ask and you never actually said what you took from mini. because yes!!! you took from mini. there are no sides to this. there is the right side and that is mini. you play the victim too much and that is not okay. you are 21 and you should know better.

i end this by saying i understand you talked to mini and you say she is okay with everything now. she didnt say anything to any of her followers to do. she actually told me and someone else to not bother anymore with this drama. but i am bothered. and you are very frustrating. what you did is not okay at all

so girl bffr and take the blame. it isnt that hard. i might be back to edit this or to add stuff i think is important but these are the most important things that i can think of right now. i will post with the tags for hotd because people need to see this and i don't have many followers.

[carefulfears]

heey :) i always enjoy your meta and your responses to questions and there’s something i never really understood so i thought i‘d ask your opinion <3 what do you think about mulder‘s brain disease during s7? i just can’t make sense of it like at all .. how would he have hidden it from scully? and why? like even if he‘d tried his best to hide it i feel like she would have noticed? and how would mulder be able to completely suppress it when with her?

imo this story development is unnecessary and just sad. why did they have to put that in there? for my personal canon i’ve decided it’s not true and mulder never was ill. but i am open to another take and would actually love to make sense of it so i thought i’d ask you since i enjoy your writing so much :3 thanks in advance!

god this is just so sweet of you to say, thank you so much. i really appreciate you reading my page and thinking of me, i always love to chat these little questions with you guys. as far as the brain disease goes, it is unnecessary and sad. on a wider scale, it’s obviously something they didn’t put much thought into, and just needed to use as a plot device retrospectively. but also…it colors season seven in a different light. i think that’s one reason why people don’t like it: it takes something. season seven is “secret sex” and movie nights and flirty mornings. it’s going to LA or kansas city just to see the sights, between monster hunts. it’s “there is so much more than this.”

when you drop a secret death sentence onto that, it takes something. it questions what the source of that peace was. i understand why most people choose to leave it.

i know i’m in the minority, but honestly, i don’t mind that questioning. it’s uncomfortable and it’s sad. but there has always been something in mulder that the audience or those around him is rarely let in on, and sometimes its fatal.

i always think about this fic:

She’d been dying once, too, and she’d told him before she told her own mother. Once, he had done everything he could to keep her alive, to find a cure, and didn’t he know she’d have done the same thing for him? She’d asked Skinner that, on one of the bad nights. Called him up in the middle of the night to ask. There was a long silence, and then Skinner just said, “Maybe he didn’t want to be saved.” He said it like he had been thinking about it for a long time. Like he’d been practicing how to tell her. In the moment she’d blanched and hung up the phone. When she came into the office the next morning, she could tell that he hadn’t slept either.

and i really recommend reading the full story, because it conceptualizes the situation so well emotionally. scully is pregnant with their miracle baby and she buried him and he was going to die, anyway, whether she knew it or not. i love the way this fic ponders...but he'd been happy, right? was he happy because they were together, or because it was almost over? it's unnecessary, it's sad, but it's also uncertain, it leaves questions.

i loved this thread trish had on twitter the other day:

thinking about mulder by scully's side through her cancer. him desperately searching for a cure. the way he clings to hope he doesn't really have because he's watching her die. when he gets his brain disease, he doesn't tell her. he hides it and looks for a cure on his own. he doesn't let that man eat his disease because he doesn't want him to suffer more. he gets abducted in scully's place.

mulder is "professionally in denial." he looked for 27 years for someone he would never have been able to save. he "refused to believe" that scully was dying, barely acknowledged it or talked about it, as she worked to her deathbed. he never told her about diana, even as the woman was in the backseat behind them. i know no one wants to think he would choose to die alone, without telling her, especially with his growth in season seven...but, it makes you question? it makes you wonder. and maybe he could.

[vickyvicarious]

For all the beats that The Beetle has with Dracula, one thing that it never touches at all is the variety of how people feel towards the common enemy.

-Mina is a complex case, she declares she feels no mercy for Dracula at first due to what he did to Lucy, then after she gets the same affliction from him she feels pity despite how relentlessly she hunts him down, and then relief from seeing his humanity at peace upon death.

-Van Helsing at first gives the impression of being clinical, but from reading his own account at the end we see that he feels that killing a vampire is to him just as horrifying and violating as murdering a human person. Despite how much they had tried to kill him and Mina.

-Serward sees vampirism as a terminal illness to be eliminated. Euthanasia is a comforting word.

-Jonathan hates all vampires' guts throughout, they're devils who belong in Hell. Except if the vampire Mina. Then he'll become one himself.

In The Beetle the variety towards the enemy is

-Everyone: Bugs and Arabs are evil

-Robert: THE BEETLE!!!

Yeah, that's an excellent point! In Dracula, there is a lot of variety to the characters's - actually, you could stop the sentence there, even. Every character is distinct, and while their goals all firmly align, there is definitely nuance to how they view the situation and thus to their thoughts about the villain. Meanwhile in The Beetle, there just isn't that level of nuance anywhere, but especially in regards to Theb in particular.

I think I've mentioned this before, but it's really hard to care too much about most of Marsh's characters because at the core they all seem to hold the same awful values as him. There isn't even anything really interesting done with contrasting different values or opinions... unless you count Marjorie's whole "I am a strong, independent woman! *gets kidnapped*" thing, which is clearly proving how wrong she is to the readers. Or Percy being more 'meek' and willing to wish Marjorie happiness with Paul - that was clearly set up for us to join in with Sydney at scoffing/laughing at him not being much of a man. Even when it would make more sense for a character to believe something different, or to express something in a different way, it usually doesn't happen. It's why I'm really glad we never got any real Paul Lessingham POV (though he still hurt his own image a lot with some of the things he said later on), or The Beetle for that matter. Not to point to the sexyman contest, but it's true that the less we hear from them directly, the more likeable the characters tend to be.

Marsh doesn't really go in for unique character voices, either. I wrote a post midway through Dracula Daily last year, but the search section is terrible and I can't find it right now. Anyway though, not only does each character think and act differently, but they write differently too. They focus on different things, describe stuff in different ways, the amount and for what purpose they write all inform their characters. To some extent that isn't possible in The Beetle given we don't get to see things like letters to different people and such, but even in this 'deposition' style first-person it should be more distinct. Honestly, the one POV character who stands out the most is Sydney, whose narrative is at least somewhat distinct. The other three though, don't really have unique 'voices' in the same way. In-universe, Holt's story is written up from what people remember him telling them after his death, so it makes a bit of sense, but it's still just so much more boring to read, honestly. I like my characters to be more distinct!

[elytrafemme]

hi, mare!!!! i have no idea if u remember me, lmao, i sent an ask back in february i think! (also i am so incredibly sorry for sending this in general but… anyway…)

but, i just wanted to say that you write so incredibly beautifully i actually cannot. i was just like, pacing around in my kitchen doing my maladaptive daydreaming shit when cough syrup came into my mind . specifically that one scene from chapter 28, when cs!ranboo says the sunset is pretty and cs!tubbo tells him he’s also pretty. and i genuinely teared up. that scene is always in the back of my mind it’s so insane. i think it might be something ill think about for a long time, even though i read it for the first time so long ago. i think it’s mainly the way you wrote it. “beside him, the sun says, “so are you.””

something about that like genuinely drives me insane (in a good way, i promise!). i just. it is so small and niche and mundane and probably shouldn’t matter this much but i am crying over it. and i am far from a crier, so if you’ve gotten me to cry over a single sentence you’ve done something incredibly right.

i don’t know if you’ve heard it a million times, or not at all, but you seriously have a way with writing. just so you know! because you definitely have to know!!!!

anyway… sorry for sending a cs ask, (also that it was very long) but!

thank you, once again, for writing this amazing piece. even if it never gets updated again, it’ll always be in my heart, i guarantee it lmao

have a good day/night/afternoon <3 (and to anyone reading this)

hi there! i thought i recognized your url somehow, it's nice of you to stop by again! i'm really terrible with answering asks but honestly you are always welcome in my askbox, i like to visualize it as a cosy space

this is such an incredibly meaningful ask to me, my God. i'm so unspeakably glad that you liked that scene and the fact that it stuck with you this long really makes my entire week, honestly. it was a scene i poured a lot of heart into, as i did those two characters in general, and i'm really really grateful that it was received in such a caring way. thank you for giving that scene space in your heart.

i really really appreciate it, thank you. i've been struggling with prose writing lately so hearing that my writing can stick with people means a lot to me. cough syrup feels sacred, like an untouchable thing i've created that i now can't touch after so long of being estranged from its writing, but hearing kind words makes me feel like i can touch it again.

it's a fic i intend to finish, though i realized a few weeks ago it may take me several years to. i've sadly lost all love for that segment of content that became its source- -with no judgement to those who appreciate it, it's just no longer part of my heart (aside from my friends' artistic creations) but cough syrup is still meaningful to me. and honestly hearing that it is still thought fondly of even in 2024 is like earthshatteringly incredible. just a bit ago i remember freaking out over whether cough syrup meant anything and honestly, your kind words reminded me that it does, and it did. and the reason it mattered so much was because of the people like you who appreciated it.

so seriously, thank you. always feel free to send me cs asks -- again, i don't respond very timely but i always will see them. i appreciate you, and i hope you like the next upload, whenever it arrives.

have a delightful day/night/afternoon as well <3