#honestly i think i'll accept this one's colors being so different from the other two if only because the entire evolutionary line

[front-facing-pokemon]

[yinwaryuri]

I don't remember which one of you said it last week, but I agreed with it and episode 11 only solidified that for me:

Jeng and Pat shouldn't be together. Not even eventually after the two year time skip.

I felt a gnawing in my stomach hearing that line coming from Put saying Jeng wasn't suited for Pat, because while I don't like Put, I also don't hate him and knew he was right. Pat wasn't there to see their little passive aggressive fights over him, he didn't see how both of them wanted control over the relationship so badly. Pat being dangled like a prize instead of a person between them colored the development of things darkly early on, but when the weather is overcast for so long it's hard to tell when the storm will actually hit.

I don't need to repeat what's been said about how ultimately Jeng put his needs above Pat's just like Put did and how that led to the breakup, but it is more disappointing. He was aware of Pat's relationship with Put and had seen how being around him affected Pat's mood when they first saw each other again. Jeng should have known better. What I think a lot of age and professionalism has done is make it easy for Jeng to pass as emotionally mature when he truly isn't. Not enough to handle the consequences of the relationship he wants so badly. Since that's the case, he's allowed Pat to shoulder most of that emotional burden, and in a romantic relationship that's just not going to be sustainable. Even worse, knowing how Pat handles his feelings.

The first half of this show really seemed to set up a sort of Mr. Darcy transformation for Jeng but it chose to take a more realistic route. The way Jeng reacted to Pat's emotional outbursts in the beginning was callous and apathetic at best. Sure, both he and Pat have developed in the aspects of Pat being stronger in his emotions and Jeng having greater sympathy, but I think for Pat it isn't from Jeng's encouragement and more from the everything else he's had to handle. Jeng's sympathy seems to really only extend from his liking Pat and wanting to be seen better by Pat. I'll exclude his feeding the homeless from that because we're not given a timeline or a reason for when and why he started doing it, and I won't speculate on them either. But a majority of his generosity, whether he's aware of it or not, is an extension of his crush.

Due to Jeng being older, rewriting over old habits or filling them in with new ones is harder for the very reason of them being more practiced. This can sabotage someone trying to handle certain things in a different way than they have in the past because they have to consciously stop something that's become reflexive or follows a certain pattern. So when someone isn't consciously stopping that pattern, isn't thinking they're going to follow that pattern this time, or thinks they have no pattern to worry about, they get struck with the consequences later when things play out and they realize "oh shit, I haven't changed." And that's what we get at the end of the episode.

That isn't to say that Jeng is incapable of growth, but he needs to choose that growth for himself. Is this corporate job and remaining in the closet for the interest of everyone but himself what he truly wants over a life with more play and a loving partner? Are the consequences of choosing not to take on that responsibility equal to those of never living a fully realized life? How long will it take him to choose?

I'm sad because all the way through episode 8 I was so excited to see their relationship and truly believed that it could be better than this. The messages about the BL industry, however more subtle they are later on, are really speaking here. If we get a happy ending with JengPat together it will take some really clever work for me to accept it. I honestly think it's time we got a BL that ends without the mains together because if we're going to follow a realistic thread, sometimes we have to follow it all the way. Breaking up a queer couple in queer media doesn't have to be homophobic. Sometimes these stories are made to demonstrate what could go wrong or for older queers to finally tell their story or to explore certain dynamics in ways that haven't been done before, etc. Whatever the intention, and as much as I hate the curse of episode 11, I'm glad they broke up.

[clockwise-works]

Idk if you've answered these yet, but 17 and 22 for the ask game?

Thanks for the ask Sky, and don't worry I don't think I've answered these ones! And sorry for the late answer, these one's genuinely had me thinking at work lmao

17. There should be more of this type of fic/art

This one is a... little difficult to answer. In terms of fics, I generally only stick with the Mipha/Link tag, and once sorting and curating it to my liking I can honestly say I so very rarely run into fics I don't like. It's the same with art, granted I'm a little more general with my art. Like yeah I love Miphlink and Mipha art, but I also like general non ship Zelda art, Sonic, Kirby, Mario, Pikmin, you can show me art for something I've never engaged with and I'll probably like it! Line technique, coloring styles, backgrounds, even ui and video game menu designs get my brain going!

So in terms of stuff I think there should be more of, as in there's grossly not enough? I guess I'll go with Miphlink fics that involve ALL the champions + some extras like Impa, Purah and Robbie, the Brigade members. Don't get me wrong, I love lovey dovey "the two idiots are together, watch them fumble until being together", but the one's I really love? I love the fics that include the other characters, give them their own arcs and dynamics with one another, AND the miphlink is there but not the "central focus" of the plot, if that makes sense. Like, it can be a pivotal part of their individual arcs, to allow themselves to express and accept love, but in the grand scheme of things there's OTHER arcs and plotlines going on! I love ALL the Champions, I love pretty much most of the characters! I wanna see Miphlink sure, but I especially love seeing Daruk like overcome a fear of harming people, pulling from his fear of dogs. I love seeing Revali learn to be more open and humble, more confident in his EMOTIONAL strength and not just his technical strength. I love seeing Zelda finally learn that people DO care about her, that she IS loved and can love in return in which THAT gives her at least a step towards unlocking her power.

I don't know if that made sense, hopefully I did. And I'm hopefully not dismissing the fics that ONLY focus on the Miphlink, like I said I eat that up! It's just that I really do love groups with MULTIPLE dynamics and relations and arcs, and oh it just so happens the two childhood best friends happen to love another and are happy and together, but in a semi lowkey way where they focus on one another, but also the other plotlines :)

22. Your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores?

This, once again, is a little hard to answer since as of now I've only played through the Wild Era of games, So I'm not super knowledgeable of the Zelda canon. I know the general stuff, but the more minute stuff? A little harder for me to answer.

I guess I'll be biased and say that people sometimes undermine Mipha's strength. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not fully convinced she's the strongest Champion when you have Urbosa who literally wields a Zora's weakness, and Link, who's quite literally "built different", but a LOT of people make the gap between her and her peers a little too wide. Especially considering that out of ALL of the BotW characters, the only one's who have canonically defeated a Guardian are Link, King Dorephan, and Mipha herself.

It is stated in game during The Champion's Ballad DLC that each Champion underwent Divine Beast Tamer Trials, and are the exact same one's that Link undergoes in the DLC. That means Mipha has canonically taken down FOUR Guardians at the same time, three flying ones and one ground mounted one.

Now, there is the argument that the Guardians may have been of lesser aggressive programing then the one's Ganon overtakes, but given that the one's Link fights in the DLC don't actually glow red, they aren't taken over by Ganon much like the one's in the shrine, meaning Mipha fought them at the EXACT same capacity Link did.

Another argument that could go against this that I'll address is Age of Calamity. In that game EVERY playable character can take out even the strongest of Guardians, and while I'm willing to believe some characters like Daruk, Urbosa, and maybe even Revali can take them, I think this falls more into gameplay mechanics to ensure every character has the overall same capacities, and therefor no character is at an utter disadvantage if a mission has Guardians. I approach this the same way as the flurry rush, in Canon I think only Link can actively do that move, as it is his special trait, but every playable character can do it mechanically just so they all have the same general controls. You cannot tell me in canon characters like Yunobo, Kohga, and Purah and Robbie can perform the EXACT same micro second dodge that Link can.

So, my little canon detail a lot of people overlook? Mipha's a LOT stronger than she appears. And while people who gravitate towards preferring her like the Mipha fans here and on Reddit may agree, most sites, which reminder YouTube for example has a MUCH larger userbase than us, most people tend to place her as the WEAKEST Champion. And I just can't agree.

...Maybe I'm just salty that I saw a YouTube poll of her being in dead last in terms of strength...

[abandonedpie]

Little bit of a vent, not that serious but slightly heavier than you'd expect from the subject.

TL;DR designing an ACNH island is suffering and I took that personally

So my island has been in a WIP state since its creation. Got fairly far with implementing my plans, and I've worked on pieces of it here and there, but recently, I was inspired to redesign the whole thing (again). No longer liked all the ideas I had liked before, and overall felt it was lacking. With some struggle, I started coming up with new ideas that I felt good about.

But the thing that has slowed me down the most? That has me already doubting or even hating my brand new ideas?

Paths. It always comes down to the paths.

Custom paths? Default paths? Both have pros and cons to consider. Fellow ACNH players are likely familiar with these issues: loss of footstep sounds, limited design slots to work with (is it worth using 12+ slots for a single path border?), having to make every design from scratch (no Online for me), lines of grass left between paths/inclines/buildings...

And I can't decide. I can't find an answer. Whatever I try, whatever I imagine, I don't like the result. I've hit a wall, and that wall is my own perfectionism. Clearly there is no perfect solution, and I have to compromise to progress—"finished, not perfect" and all that—but I don't want to compromise the vision I have for my island, even though I know that vision is unattainable.

I just want to have an island I'm happy with. And it feels like no matter what I do with it, I'll never be satisfied. I've seen such beautiful pictures and videos of other people's islands, and while they inspire me and fuel my creativity, they also raise my standards for my own island because I know it could be so much better.

I want to be able to settle for "good enough." But it feels like trying to paint a rainbow with one or two colors missing or not quite the right shade. Maybe I can make something pretty, but it's not what I envisioned or want.

So I think, let's just come up with something different. There are plenty of designs I would like just as much or more, right? I'm already struggling because I like multiple exclusive aesthetics/layouts/etc. and I can't fit them all on one island. But...paths are kinda omnipresent, and that means I have to accept them being substandard. Unless? I've considered using minimal to no paths, but I can't imagine that working for me. I'm not going for full-on natural forestcore or whatever (and even that wouldn't look its best without dirt paths, right?).

I guess I might've made this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. At this point, I feel tired and stuck and hopeless, and part of me wants to let it go. It's just a game. But I don't want to give up and leave my island a mess again. For a short while, I was excited to create, thinking I could shape my little land into something great, something I could walk through with a smile and maybe feel proud of. And now I wonder if that's really possible. There must be something I can do, something I'd like, but I don't know how to find it. I'm honestly having trouble focusing on it right now.

Seeking inspiration is a double-edged sword. As nice as other people's islands look, I know a lot of pictures are shared with filters, and even those that aren't...well, seeing images and videos is different than walking through your own island day after day.

I could go into the game's flaws and limitations, but this is what we've got. And it's not all bad. There's potential. The problem is my own inner critic, and I don't know how to get past it.

The best part is that I've been trying to fight this perfectionism with the game from the beginning, when I last restarted my island and named it Wabisabia after the term wabi-sabi, the Japanese ideal/aesthetic centered on transience and imperfection. You can see how well that's going for me ha ha ha! Even if I want to embrace it in theory, it's not so easy to break through the perfectionism cemented inside me.

Anyway, yeah. Back to agonizing over my island I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[mejomonster]

Okay I started A Dream of Splendor and I'm liking it way more than I thought?

Caveat: it feels somewhat historical realism and that's not my usual genre so i am watching it as a fish out of water. But for what it is, I AM enjoying its story and the characters feeling like real people who could've existed or if in this time I could've met, being less perfect and Fantastical than romance cdramas tend to usually be

This shows intro music didn't catch me. Not necessary, but when intros catch me 90% of time I love the show. So this show needs to offer me more lol. The intros colors and image choices scream romance (horrifically possibly Fluff romance) and I hate those usually so I did Not vibe with it

The actual intro scene I DID vibe with though. Nothing to get me invested like a terrifying man with secrets, involved in fucked up stuff that I HOPE will be in the plot, implying future action scenes and political thriller (at least I fucking hope so). All things indicating this may not be a fluff romance. So I'm already way more on board

The choice to have both main girls fight in the teahouse? EXCELLENT. I realize heroines in shows can't always fight, and there's interesting angles for characters that don't. But me personally? In a historical, I like a woman who does protect herself and fix rhe problems HERSELF. I like that it showed our heroine is a woman who decides to do what she chooses, fight if that's what it requires, then commit with no regrets whether she wins or loses, lives or dies. She's stubborn, decided in her beliefs and choices, and I can deeply respect that. It's a good opening for her. It gets her in a fight with Shady Guy, but that too is a good show of how she picks her views and doesn't throw them away in fear while still trying to think of how to Get Through situations. It's impressive her bravery dealing with him, and I think honestly her resilience and commitment to her beliefs may have impressed him. Now he did insult her for being a tree that doesn't bend (if you don't compromise or accept you may need to pick another way/less deadly way you will be more likely to break when things go against your plan - which is fair enough, not bad advice though he delivered it rudely with a threat). But I do think it's rare anyone would rather die in front of him than suck up to him lmao.

I like him. Yeah he seems like an awful guy. Fun romantic lead concept though. Fun lead. I like that he clearly has his position and worldview and way of living (he breaks people until his outcome happens by any means - and he threatens her until she makes him tea). And she does too, they're strong characters written to be characters Before they're written to "accomodate" matching up with the other or accommodate some fluff trope some shows would slap in and use to drive the romance. I DO have an urge to see how the fuck these two end up allies, friends, lovers somehow. I do want to see how such strong personalities influence and change each other. It's a good premise for a story that connects two people and I'm intrigued.

I don't love rhe choice to make her a former noble (just because I am so desperate for a commoner/rich or commoner/commoner historical or historical fantasy since ALL I fucking ever find is rich/rich noble/noble. and while her backstory as a slave makes it a bit more like she has a much different background than him, and her being a merchant is Some Money but not "lives in the capital" money - all things I appreciate. It's just. It's still ultimately she is from a similar background once upon a time. I'm a bit tired of it. I'll tolerate it cause I truly can't find any alternative ;-; but please rec me if one exists. I tolerated only-royal heros in The Secret of the Three Kingdoms and loved that, and in Goodbye My Princess. But just... generally I still am craving commoner/noble or commoner/commoner. I'd like THEIR historical romance and what it'd be, a story making it as important and grand as any empress love story.). I do appreciate at least so far they both seem middle-upper class so it's not like empress/emperor (but who knows if it'll change). I DO like that the majority of her past has been as a pariah and then regular woman trying to earn a living and get her lover a better job and have work friends. It's grounded and I much prefer it to the noblewoman mold in these shows (but I realize that's a personal me thing lol)

I love the general presentation of our main girl. She isn't innocent, naive, or openly trusting. She's not the Goodbye My Princess or The Wolf type. She's a woman who's perfectly aware of the real world and it's fucked up parts from way back when it destroyed her family, She's level headed about her sisters/friends and even a bit ornery (very much like real people), she goes to handle shit herself, just overall very to my kind of preference as a character. So I like her and the lead guys potential as characters.

I LOVE the sets. Again the opening made me think itd look like 200 other historical costume cdramas. And to be fair so far the costumes aren't that unique. BUT the show looks eons better than the opening. Some of the shooting sets look shot in real locations not green screen, the village her teahouse is in particularly looks very beautiful by the river and like a real place people would live in. The ships in the harbor in the background of scenes I LOVE. The carriage rolling away out of frame, the boats going up and down the river like it's a usual everyday thing, people washing their dishes and doing chores. It feels grounded, lived in, with fairly natural clothing colors and simple costuming (as far as wigs looking like ways people may actually wear hair and clothes not so fancy they take you out of the fantasy you're watching historical). Aesthetically its subtle, but very natural, good lighting choices and set piece choices and little everyday details included, that make it feel SOLID grounded historical more than costume drama ramping things up fantastically. I'm not sure if it was expensive or cheap, but I've seen dramas with similar levels of costume detail that look WAY faker and not historical or remotely like even a "real life" vibe. So kudos to this show for making me feel I'm really just seeing some story about people hundreds of years ago. It's nice. Kind of a Pride and Prejudice feeling.

Love the focus on the female characters.

Again I gotta emphasize so far I like the hints of political thriller/Danger in the plot (I genuinely need them to get into a show so it's good they're here), and that so far the women all make choices I'd honestly prefer they did. I know women characters don't Need to match my preferences to be good. But at the same time? A big reason The Secret of the Three Kingdoms clicked wirh me SO MUCH is because a woman is the mastermind of the fake emperor, a widow princess is an assassin in one of the key political thriller plots, a whore is manipulating even the Key policial manipulator, Caos daughter even naive as she is also makes choices I think are in line with her kind of raising, even the pregnant consort who dies I felt was really Driving her own plot and just generally all the women on the show felt as on equal footing as the men in terms of Driving the plot and influencing it and Taking action rather than only Reacting. So far in A Dream of Splendor, I'm getting the same vibe. Even our naive dumb musician girl is TAKING action to marry, thinking of her future plans, fighting for what she wants trying to convince her sister, life is not only Happening to her but she's Driving her own life. While that may ideally be true of many female characters, not all shows actually write things that way or give the effort to depict it visually so the audience knows. Theoretically any woman in a historical drama getting just married is a Driving factor in her decision making of it (or her decision to let go of control and do as others say, which is its own internal inner story if the writers/visuals care to actually depict it). But in reality there's a number where it's just "she was married" or "i got another concubine" and I think maybe why I like stuff like tsottk and Jade Palace Lock Heart (even with how cruel the women sometimes are in it) is that I can see THEIR pov on why they're making their decisions or why they've fallen into becoming pawns from Their pov. They aren't ever relegated to props for a story, they ARE the story. They're Driving it, their pov is shared with us, and I personally prefer that.

I have 10 minutes left of ep 1 and fear for main girl walking into a fight she wasn't meant to stumble into

And finally: I know I sound harsh, but really just consider it me disliking the intro vid to the show lol. So far I've very much liked ALL of the actual episode. Very strong opening with good main characters, grounded setting I can get lost in and feel, solid writing decisions indicating a character arc focus, interesting setup.

[noraheyter]

Interesting details I've noticed about Deltarune Chapter 1 - part I

Heeello, Tumblr folks! I know that probably no one will read this, but I have to say sorry for taking so long to write it, nevertheless.

So: sorry :)

Now that that is out of the way, let's go to some details that I've noticed while replaying the chapter 1 of Deltarune on Halloween (also it's anniversary).

The very first thing is right in the beginning, when you decide do play the game. Toby never puts a dialogue that is useless, and while there are five more chapters to release, I think it's worth to pay attention to how we start.

When you open Deltarune, the very first image that appears is a dialogue:

"Are you there?

Are we connected? "

Who is talking to us? We don't know. What does it mean by being connected? We don't know. Where is "there"? We. Don't. Know.

And then, a SOUL appears. A symbol of our very being, based on undertale. However, this is not Undertale, and we are playing through Frisk.

I know, I know. Everyone likes to put these two in contrast, but I want to see Deltarune as an isolated game, as if Undertale never existed. Why? Because it is telling a different story, so we should respect this, even if it's just a little.

Anyway, after the SOUL appears, we get a response from the voice:

"Excellent. Truly excellent."

Which means, that we are "there" and we are connected through this heart-shaped thing that appeared after we initiated the game. This voice was not waiting for a character to show up, they were waiting for the player to open the game.

A background scenario appears, some strange music, and the voice continues:

"We must create a vessel."

Now, I want to point out that the voice says that they will create a vessel alongside the player. This is really interesting, because after this, every time that they refer to the vessel, they say "You".

They are worried about how you feel about your body, how you want its personality to be like, what names and gifts do you want to give it.

The voice makes very clear that you are responsible for this creation, after all:

"This is your body. Do you accept it?"

And when you do:

"You have created a wonderful form."

After having giving it a shape, you give it a mind. I selected these four things:

Food: sweet

Blood Type: D

Favorite Color: Green

Gift: Voice

Then they proceed:

"How do you feel about it? (It will not hear)"

Love

"Have you answered honestly?"

Why do we ought to answer honestly if "it" will not hear us? Why does the voice care? Isn't it our body? Our vessel? Don't it mean that we are the ones that will control it? We are the ones that are going to become it?

Not only that, but our options are strangely specific: Love, hope, fear, disgust. Two really positive and two really negative.

And yet, one of these options feels out of place. Fear. Why should we be scared of our own creation? What could it possibly do to us that would make us, in the real world, to be afraid of it?

With that question, the voice slowly starts to show its true intentions, which I believe is to trap the player in this body. And what's the devil's way to imprison people? Contracts.

"You acknowledge the possibility of pain and seizure."

Sounds familiar? It should. This is not a question, like the others. This is an affirmation. What's worse? The voice doesn't say who is going to suffer pain and seizure. Up until now, they were always reffering to either the player or the vessel, like a conversation.

This sentence doesn't sound like something you would say to someone. What it sounds is like a pact, or rather, a contract.

Moreover, when you "sign" this contract by accepting it, the voice goes to the next and final stage: names.

Which I'll detail in the next post.

[nataliebuckleyromanoffharrington]

My Detka - A Letter

→ Pairs: Natasha Romanoff x f!reader

→ Summary: You snapped your fingers at the Endgame 5 years ago. Natasha, your wife, who hasn't moved on, writes a letter to you.

→ Warning/s: Sad, grief, death.

→ Universe: Marvel

→ Setting: 9pm, yours and Nats room

→ Genre: [S]

→ Note: This is a Natasha version of the one I did a few days ago on Nat's 3rd death anniversary.. Although I did copy some parts and change a few ones on the way to the end.

→ Meaning/s: (y/e/c) = your eye color. (y/h/c) = your hair color. (y/s/c)=your skin color. y/n/n=your nickname

Masterlist (F) • Taglist • Masterlist (M)

To the love of my life, y/n,

5 years. 5 years since I last heard your voice, see your smile, taste your cooking, feel your warmth. 5 years since I last said my I love you to you. 5 years since I lost my smile, and I don't care because you're not the reason behind it.

I never once thought that I would be writing something like this in God who knows when. From the very first moment we met, when you entered the big doors and my eyes met your (y/e/c) orbs, I knew I'll end up with you 'til our last moments on Earth, 'til our last breath.

But.. it didn't go as planned.. you went first.. Why? You promised me we'll die together..

Hope. Love. Such simple 4 letter words, yet it's so powerful and has many deep meanings behind it.

Scientists may say that soulmates don't exist and that is made up, I agree with that. Then I met you. Y/N/N, I hope someday we'll say Hello to each other again, feel one another's warmth, feel safe and loved in the presence of each other. You taught me so many things that I didn't know I needed to learn, you were like my teacher. You taught me how to open up easily, you taught me how to move on from my past.

Honestly, you were the only person I've ever felt free with, I can cry on your shoulder and chest as you whisper sweet words, I can trust you with secrets, I can be open to you, I can let my feelings out with you. Being with you makes me think that it's only the two of us in the world.

When I watched you close your eyes slowly with a smile, I couldn't register that. I felt limb, I felt numb. I rested my forehead on your heart, breaking down in front of the team as they kneel in sympathy and empathy. No one could ever feel the same pain I'm going and went through. The pain of losing my wife. I felt like an enormous part of me disappeared with you, you were my other part.

You were our light. Our joy. Our baby even though you're 29. But now, as I sit on your chair in your office, my only light is the lamp that's illuminating the office.

I was raised and taught that feelings such as love is for children and for the weak, yet we had the greatest love there was. At my age, I never knew I would fall so hopelessly in love with anyone.

It's hard to move on. It's hard to accept the fact that I have no one to call home from now on, that I have no one to make me feel loved again. It's hard, but I'm starting to grow on my own now. And it happened because of you, you taught me how to live even without you.

There are billions of people in this world, yet we found each other. Some people could say that it's just fate but surely, is fate that cruel to keep us apart like this? is fate really that cruel to keep my happiness away? Malyshka, I would do anything to have you beside me, wether it may be 1 minute or two hours, hell I would even sell my soul to the devil. Because you made me feel things that only you can make me feel, and that's loved and enough. Fuck Fate. It took the most important person in the universe away from me. Everywhere I look, it has a memory of us.

I find these things rather sappy, I know you know that. Poems, love letters, love songs, gifts, I always thought that you could show someone your love for them using those. But now, as I sit on your chair, I see it in a different perspective. I guess everything on this paper is the things I left unsaid. You don't know how much I love and care about you, but now that you're gone, it feels as though I didn't say enough to make you stay, and it's killing me.

It sent me into an undesirable and complicated spiral of negative thoughts. How am I going to live without you? How am I going to move on? What did we do to deserve this? How will I ever watch the sunset, sunrise, the moon and stars on the hill without memories flashing back? How will I ever listen to our favorite songs without it bringing memories back? Who am I going to call home from now on?

Hopelessness. Numbness. Pain. I feel like giving up. Everything is pointless, living is pointless without you, well except writing this. I don't know why I can't help but keep writing how much I miss you, how much I can't move on.

All of this is dried black ink on a stupid piece of white paper, meaningless and useless words covering the white page. Some may say it's not special but to me, they mean the world. All the love I still have for you on this paper. To think about it, it's quite funny.

No matter how much the team and my adoptive family try and help me, I still feel numb and lonely. Loneliness has been my partner in the evenings, in the mornings when I sit there and eat breakfast, when I sit in the library and read, when I'm on boring missions but it makes me feel your love again. Loneliness makes me feel you again, funny right? It makes me think of all of our kisses, hugs, giggles, your sweet and loving voice whispering sweet words to me or just feeling your presence again.

Sometimes it leads me to your part of the closet, where your hoodies rest, where your sweet perfume lays, where our hidden pictures hide. I always sleep with your hoodies on, it makes me feel as though you were here, hugging me tightly like your life depends on me. But then I'd wake up without you. Sometimes I'm grateful for the loneliness, yet sometimes it feels like it's eating me.

We had everything we ever wanted, because it's each other that we ever wanted. I could sleep on the hardest bed, I could eat the most disgusting food if it means to be in your arms again, to feel your warmth and presence again. With you I felt like the world has stopped.

You were such a beautiful and wonderful person with a tender and soft heart. You were tough and bold but deep inside you're all fluff. I loved everything about you. The way your (y/h/c) would cascade down your (y/s/c). The way you would always make my food perfectly. The way your cheeks would turn red whenever I flirt or give you a compliment. The way you would drag me to every tourist spot we have a mission in because you love and appreciate the culture you're surrounded with. The way your smile would reach your eyes. The way your lips would automatically smile when I enter the room. The way you love staying up late, watching movies and cuddling. The way your (y/e/c) would glisten under the morning sunlight and night moonlight. The way you got so into book that you started writing one, which you didn't get to finish and publish. The way your arms would always be wrapped around me at all times. The way your eyes would light up at good news. The way you would always make me a peanut butter sandwich after missions. The way you would always mark every Sunday as the Barbecue day, and every Thursday is international food day where you would cook a dish from a certain country and it would always taste good But most of all, it's the way you would put others before yourself, making sure they're all okay and happy.

You were the most kind and selfless person I've ever met. You were everything nice. You were the light in my darkest times. You were my blanket on cold nights. You were my pillow when I need to cry. You were the brightest star in my pitch black world. You were the cause behind my smiles and laughter. You were the one behind my successful missions. But now, I don't have a light in my darkest world, I don't have a blanket on my cold nights, I don't have a pillow to cry on, the brightest star has faded, the cause of my smiles and laughter is gone, but you'll always be the one behind my successful missions and my smiles and laughter.

It was hard seeing how the team reacted to your death. Moments we shared together felt as though it was just the two of us in the world, it almost made me forget how many people love and care about you. You found a family that loves and cares about you so undesirably much.

I'd never thought I'd turn my reality into a dream, because I can only be with you in my mind, until the very last moment of my life until we reunite. Our story has been this long that I've never expected it to end this way, if only we could turn a few pages back and rewrite the ending. Wanda always told me, "It doesn't matter how the book ends, read it again with the same smile and giggle" and she's right, looking back at our memories, I learned that people leave for a reason. Sometimes I lie here, wearing your hoodies as your scent remains there as if you were hugging me tightly like your life depends on me and I would close me eyes and memories of us flashback.

We would always make comments about how the other should cope if something bad happened during a mission. Though, I never expected it to happen so soon. You always told me to close my eyes and I'll be there with you because I will always have our memories in my mind. But now that you're gone, if I try it, it saddens me more, because I have to turn to darkness to find you, when you were the brightest person in my life.

Lila, Nathaniel, Cooper, Billy, Tommy and Morgan is all grown up now. It was painful to tell the kids that you won't be coming back. They cried all night after we told them the news, you were their favorite aunt out of all of us. You know, I've been trying to move on but I can't, everywhere I look has a memory of us. The team is dissolving after the Endgame. Vision, Loki, you and Steve is gone... Bucky, Maria, Fury, Sam, Wanda, Strange, Thor, Clint, Bruce, Tony, Pepper, Happy, Yelena, Melina, Alexei, Carol, Shuri, King T'Challa, Laura Peter, Aunt May, the kids, me... None of us have moved on. We'll avenge you, Detka. Just wait.

So, my dearest wife, y/n, I will leave it here because it hurts too much to continue. I will always write to you, every day to let you know what I've been doing. I know that we will meet again and finally enjoy the rest of our lives together. I hate the fact that you gave me so many good memories that you became the memory that kills me. You promised that you'll stay forever but I guess forever is just a word from now on. I hope you wait for me up there, I'll be there soon, I promise. I can't wait for that day but for now, I'll get by, thinking of you every moment. So, my joy, my love, my detka, my home, my hero, I will alway love you unconditionally always and forever, Y/N.

Love, Natasha.

A/N: Yey! Pain!

[its-captain-sir]

BATTALION BREAKDOWN

Alright y'all, here it is, my breakdown of what I think a GAR battalion SHOULD look like. Full disclaimer before we get into it: I tried to research this stuff on wookiepedia as best I could but 1. there wasn't a ton of information out there on some of the things I had questions about and 2. some of it just makes No Sense when you put it together, so a lot of these numbers were made up by me and what I thought made sense based on what we see in the show and just simple logic. Feel free to accept/ignore parts as you please! Also, I'm gonna try to explain the rationale behind certain things as I go along but if you have any questions about this, you can send an ask/reply/reblog this post with your question and I'll do my best to answer it :)

Now that all that's out of the way, here's all the actual info beneath the cut.

Basic Organization

Essentially, the GAR breaks down into four tiers at this level: battalions, companies, platoons, and squads.

Battalions are the largest groups with 576* members and are all numbered, such as the 501st, 212th, 104th, etc. The only exceptions to the numbering convention are the Rancor Battalion that guards Kamino and the Coruscant Guard. Personally I believe that both of these should be double, if not triple, the size of a regular battalion, which could potentially explain the difference in names. Battalions are led by a clone commander and Jedi general + a padawan commander if the Jedi has one. 4 companies make a battalion.

Companies consist of 144 members and are all named. Using the 501st for example, this would be Torrent, Tide, Wave, and Typhoon. Note: Torrent, Tide, and Wave are canon/widely accepted fanon, but Typhoon is something me and my friends came up with. You're welcome to use the name as the fourth 501st company in your wips if you want! The names don't have to be related, but my guess would be that they often are. Companies are led by a captain.** 4 platoons make a company.

Platoons consist of 36 members and are simply referred to as the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th platoon under their company. Platoons are led by a Lieutenant. 4 squads make a platoon.

Squads consist of 9 members and are named. I don't have names for any 501st squads unfortunately, which is why those spaces are left blank in the picture. As a content creator, you'd have a LOT of freedom when it comes to these because there's so many within a battalion and it seems like they can be named just about anything. Squads are led by a sergeant.

*Numbers for this and subsequent numbers in this section were taken directly from wookiepedia

**One problem people tend to have with this is that Rex is a captain, and yet he seems to be in command of all of the 501st. I think most people have figured this out already but the clone wars writers really just threw names around willy-nilly when it came to all the military stuff. Rex should by all intents and purposes be a commander, and my personal in-universe explanation for this is that while he was skilled enough to go through ARC/command track training, he wasn't originally meant to be a commander and his CT number is what barred him from the title initially. Keeli would be another example of this.

A few comparisons just to illustrate it a bit better:

1 battalion = 4 companies = 16 platoons = 64 squads = 576 members

1 company = 4 platoons = 16 squads = 144 members

1 platoon = 4 squads = 36 members

1 squad = 9 members

Please note that these numbers do not include the officers. There would be 64 sergeants, 16 lieutenants, 4 captains, and a commander added to this number to make a total of 661 clones in any given battalion.

Now I could have just stopped here but I have a tendency to want to get way too specific in my wips so I went a little further:

Internal Battalion Assignments

To make the numbers a bit easier, this just looks at what would be found in one company, you can do the extra math if you want to know the full battalion numbers.

I tried my best to remember what kind of specialized troops showed up in the show since wookiepedia wasn't much help, and I ended up breaking these assignments down into medics, heavy gunners, ARF and tank operators, scouts, tech specialists, and standard infantry.

Medics total 16* within a company, one for each squad. Within the medical corps, they're further broken down into junior medical officers (JMO), medical officers (MO), senior medical officers (SMO), and the chief medical officer of the battalion (CMO). Any internal promotions would probably come from the CMO, maybe a SMO on occasion. When pertaining to medical issues, they do often outrank any other officer, but in combat, JMOs and MOs only hold the rank of private (underneath sergeant) and SMOs and the CMO hold the rank of major (between sergeant and lieutenant).

Heavy gunners total 16 within a company, again one for each squad. These are the clones who have been trained to use the Z-6 rotary blaster, like Hardcase and Hevy.

ARFs and other tank operators total one platoons-worth spread throughout a company, or 36 members. ARF troopers are the ones who drive the AT-RTs (the really bouncy walkers you can see used on Ryloth and Umbara) and other tank operators encompass, well, the operators of all the other ground vehicles we see used. The ratio of each of these seems like it could be fluid based on the needs of the battalion and their mission, so I didn't go too much further into this.

Scouts total two squads-worth spread throughout a company, or 16 members. To me it makes sense that one of the lieutenants within their company would specifically deal with their recon reports, simply because it's more organized and practical.

Tech specialists total one squads-worth spread throughout a company, or 9 members. Honestly this is where I grouped anything else left over, like the bomb squad members we see in the blue shadow virus episode, any slicers, etc.

Standard infantry totals the remaining 49 members in a battalion. They're strictly the fighting force on the ground. This doesn't mean that they're the only ones who do the actual fighting, just that they aren't specifically trained for any other specialization.

*These numbers and the subsequent numbers in this section were not taken from any canon source. They were calculated simply by what I thought would make sense to have.

LAAT/is and Starfighters

Again, I tend to be way too specific in my wips so not only did I go through all of the ground fighting force, but I started figuring out the some of the space forces attached to a battalion as well. This doesn't go into a ton about the Republic Navy because frankly, as soon as I read "7400 crew members on a star destroyer" I exited out of that tab cause that's a little Too Much to try to figure out, but I will cover how I think the gunships and fighter squadrons should work.

LAAT/is (gunships) total 48 per battalion, or 12 per company. However, two per company are usually held in reserve to make sure there's always something available for easy transport to/from the ground. This brings down the number to 40 per battalion, or 10 per company. Gunships take two people to man, so the total number of those pilots for a battalion is 96, or 24 for a company. There's also room for two gunners, which would bring the battalion total to 192, but from what I remember in the show the side guns rarely have someone in them, so I don't think the full 96 LAAT/i gunner positions would be filled. I also think the LAAT/i gunners could be temporarily reassigned from the main star destroyer crew (because 7400 is a LOT, they can spare 96). Wookiepedia said that the gunships could hold 30 troops for transport, but that seems like it'd be really cramped quarters. My guess is that each one would hold somewhere between 14-17 comfortably depending on how many people need transport and how many gunships are in use, which is what I kept in mind to come up with the original number of 48 for a battalion.

The Starfighter Corps consist of 5 separate squadrons, the standard* being two squadrons of Y-wings, one squadron of V-19 Torrents, one squadron of Z-95 Headhunters, and one squadron of ARC-170s. There are 12 in a squadron, plus a squad leader and two usually in reserve, so that's 15 total ships in a squadron and 75 total ships overall. Y-wings require a pilot and a gunner, so the total number of members in a battalion's starfighter corps equals 105. However, I believe some battalions could have up to double** these numbers if they're frequently in space battles, like Anakin and the 501st, or if they have a name that suggests it, like the 327th Star Corps. Squadrons seem to often be named after colors, but that isn't always the case, ie. Shadow Squadron.

*This standard isn't canon, it's just what I believe makes sense based on the number of ships types available and how frequently they are seen used in the show. The Y-wing bombers seem to be used a bit more than the rest, which is why I think there would be two squadrons of them.

**While double the number of ships is certainly possible, I figure it's more common to have three more squadrons instead of the full five so there would be two squadrons of each type of ship.

~~~

That's all I got! Like I said earlier, use whatever you like, ignore the parts you don't, it doesn't really matter to me. This system is definitely what I'm going to follow in my wips if anyone is ever curious about what's going on with those.

Hopefully this is helpful to someone out there! And if you made it this far, thanks for reading! :)

[ms-indifferwnt]

I’m Cold

“I'm cold"

"And?"

"Can't you give me your jacket or something?"

"Can't you accept my proposal and marry me already?"

In which Prince Donghyuck's parents are forcing him to get married and he decided to propose to the first girl he sees to shut his parents up

Genre: Prince!Lee Donghyuck x Maid!Reader, Angst, Fluff, Arranged Marriage (kinda), Slowburn

Warnings: Curse words, Suggestive (I'll add more if there are)

Notes: Chapter 5 of Im Cold. Sorry this one took longer, hope you guys enjoy

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

Prev / Chapter 5 / Next

"We'll take it" The Prince starts and Y/n looks at him in shock

"My Prince, er Donghyuck we don't have to," She starts and looks at herself in the mirror "This isn't necessary"

He raises an eyebrow and shakes his head while he readjusted his sitting position "I promised you we'd go shopping so we're going shopping" he eyes her and shakes his head "I don't like that," he looks to the sales lady "Get me a darker color of that exact dress"

"Donghyuck!"

He smiles and playfully copies her tone "Y/n" He crosses his arms "Let me spoil you, besides didn't I tell you to take advantage of me?" He asks

"You're the prince"

"Which is exactly why you have to do so, I would be very disappointed otherwise" He looks to the side and bowed his head at the sales lady with the different colored dress "Try this one" he hands it off to her and she furrows her eyebrows not taking the dress "Put this on willingly or I help you put it on?"

You blinked "You're kidding" you dared and stood your place

"Alright," He says moving to lead you inside the changing room "I'll help you change"

Only for you to yelp and grab the dress "I'll change, I'll change, stop it" walking inside the changing room, wearing the dress he has given her, it was a maroon colored wrap dress, with sleeves that reach her wrists an a skirt a couple of inches higher than her knees.

She walked out, showing the prince the latest dress he has picked out for her and received a shocked reaction from the prince. He knows that the wrap dress would look beautiful on her since he has seen her wear that dress and he has asked for a darker color but, Oh My God, she looked beautiful, the dress was absolutely perfect for her, he trailed his eyes down her body,  and then nods

"We'll take it" He says to the sales lady and points at it "that is my favorite dress, wear it for tonight"

She raises an eyebrow in confusion "What's gonna happen tonight?"

He smiles and shakes his head "Nothing, now change back then lets go get jewelry"

"Your highness-" She started and stayed in place

"Go, Y/n" He ushers and smiles "then we can get ice cream"

"You're highness you're not allowed with too much sweets"

"Then I won't eat, you will, besides I love sweets"

Arriving back at the palace Y/n and the prince (mostly Y/n) was exhausted and excited to just lie in bed and be on her phone and just be by herself, today was too eventful for her liking

"Then I decided to bathe my pink turtle-" He replies when he notices the the female wasn't paying attention to him anymore and was proven right when she nodded

He rolls his eyes ,"Y/n" He calls and snaps his fingers infront of her face "Wakey-wakey?"

She blinks and bows in apology once the prince was able to hold her down to reality "Sorry, I was thinking"

He nods "its fine, I tired you out didn't I?" He chuckles "You should rest, you're gonna need it for the days to come. I'll wake you myself for dinner, so don't worry about it" He leads her to her room, assuring her as he holds her hand.

Once the Prince leaves her room she picks out a change of comfortable clothes and collapsed on the bed. She has been a maid for quite a while but today has left her exhausted, she feels absolutely drained, she was thankful for the rest she was about to have

She couldn't help but think about the Prince and the early encounters, was he always that protective? She shifts and hugs one pillow, remembering that moment when the Prince was furious that he almost did something he might regret, If she wasn't there, something must've happened

"Lets go get Ice-cream"

She blinks and smiles, He did nothing today but buy her cake, clothes, jewelry, and Ice cream. The Prince made sure she was comfortable and not left out, he would be a wonderful King, She sighs and closes her eyes, her thoughts and dreams being plagued by the beautiful sun kissed boy "And when the two weeks are over, we go our separate ways"

She doesn't know why, or what makes this feeling so strong but all of a sudden she hates herself

Donghyuck sat crossed legged in the tea room as his parents spoke to him about his day and his chosen benefactors, it was boring and he barely listened,  his hands moved to play with his watch, a habit he has developed after Prince Chenle gave him a watch on his thirteenth birthday, speaking of that, Chenle's birthday is coming up, Donghyuck should really think of a present for the guy. Come to think of it, he doesn't know about Y/n's birthday, he should ask her, yeah he'll ask her

"Donghyuck" His mom brought him out of his day dream "are you even listening to me?"

He nods, he wasn't, "I was, and I can say yes, its possible" His dad raises his eyebrow and Donghyuck slyly and carefully waved his hand to ask for help from him who distracted his wife, sparing the prince from an earful

Donghyuck leans back, calling over his one of the stand ins there Yuta, who was also one of his friends "What were we talking about? I wasn't listening"

He smiles amused by the Prince "Being in love does that too you," He teases "I honestly thought I'll never see the day-"

"Shut up and tell me Hyung" Donghyuck mumbles

"The queen asked if Lady Y/n would join dinner and you replied with a quote 'yes, its possible'"

Donghyuck groaned as Yuta teases him. He can't believe he just agreed to something on her behalf by accident. There's nothing he could do now, right? I mean the choices were wake Y/n up and probably get the stink eye (she just seems like the person who gets cranky when you wake them. Every morning Y/n would wake up on her own, so its not impossible) or decline his mom's offer and get yelled at.

"I'll wake you myself for dinner, so don't worry about it"

The Prince nods at the memory, right He can wake her and have dinner. He stands and and smiles at his Parents "I'll go wake her" He informs and leaves the room, walking slowly to her, thinking of what to say, on how to wake her "Oh, and for dessert get something sweet" he smiles and bows

The King and the Queen stared at their sons leaving figure "he doesn't like sweets...?" The Queen starts

Yuta grins at the leaving figure before bowing "It isn't for him, your Grace"

Once he entered her room, he smiles at the sight, she changed into a loose tee and shorts, he had half a mind to tuck her in and let her sleep, but he was hungry, and he didn't want to get yelled at

"Y/n" he whispered and pets her hair, sitting down on the bed beside her "Wake up, sleepy head, lets eat dinner"

Y/n roused from her dreamless sleep by the sound of his voice, at first she thought it was just her imagination but his voice kept whispering and almost lulled her to sleep until she heard his voice tell her to eat. She slowly woke up, opening her eyes to be greeted by the handsome Prince running his fingers through her locks. She didn't mean it, leaning into his touch, neither noticed until she felt the warmth of the prince's hand on her cheek and she gasps, sitting up, making the prince stand up

"um," He says, his cheeks slightly pink as Y/n refuses to look at him "Its dinner time, lets go" He stands and clears his throat standing to look through her wardrobe to not look at her in the eye

He places his hand on his chest, willing his heart to stop thumping against his ribcage, he placed his other hand (the one he was holding her with) infront of him and he blinked grabbing one of the dresses there and turning to look at her who smiled softly at the prince, she looked unaffected, he didn't like it.

Y/n's heart was still beating at an irregular pace, she smiles softly once the prince looks at her "I'm sorry but why should I wear something so fancy?"

He looks at her and smiles, placing the dress on the bed "Because, my parents wanna eat dinner with you, would you rather wear that?"

He teases and points at her tee and she instinctively covered up using the blanket and he looked away "Um, sorry" He blushed again, God this room was getting stuffy "Change into this, or would you rather a different one?"

She shakes he head, as Hana walks in bowing at the Prince and Female on the bed, "I'll change into that, thankyou"

Hana takes the dress and smiles as she leads Y/n inside the bathroom, Hana was giggling as she helped her out of her current clothes "I hope I'm not stepping out of line, but you and the Prince have a cute chemistry"

Y/n couldn't help but raise her eyebrows "We were just speaking" She points out as Hana helps he into the dress, a red mid-thigh length, sleeves up until the elbow, the edge of the dress, the skirt part was adorned with a golden design, it sparkled with her movement, she would never admit it but the prince had a wonderful taste in clothes

"Well you were," Hana smiles and and adjusts the skirt so that  it doesn't folded inward "But you and the Prince still have that, shy aura around, not many couples posses that now a days, My lady"

Maybe because we're not dating. Y/n hums and looks at the mirror "They don't?"

Hana nods "I assure you, MiLady, They Don't"

Arriving at the dining hall, with The Prince's and Y/n's armed linked together, you can tell from a far that she would be the perfect bride, The Prince was mischievous and everyone can tell, he had something up his sleeve, He helped her to her seat first, and usually the Prince would be teasing or joking around but for tonight, The King and The Queen watched as their son gave Y/n a reassuring smile and a gentle squeeze, a silent promise that she'll be alright

"Y/n" The Queen calls and Y/n bows along with the Prince "Please, no need to bow, you'll be family" She looks at The Prince at her words and He squeezes her hand again before helping her sit "Donghyuck is so proper with you, such a nice change of pace" She starts and laughs as The prince looked at her in shock

"I am Proper!" He raises his voice

"Donghyuck" Y/n calls and looks at him warningly, you do not raise your voice at the Queen, he looks at her and closes his mouth, sitting down with a small huff when she tugs on his sleeve

The King laughs at the display infront of him, "Donghyuck, you're fiance is right, don't raise your voice at your mother" He smiles and looks at her bowing his head "Its nice to finally meet you, Y/n"

She bows her head "Its my pleasure, Your Grace"

"Please, no need to be so formal" He smiles and assures "We're thankful to have you, Donghyuck needed someone who could control him" He teases

The Queen nods and smiles at Y/n "besides the point, we know you might be a little scared, but please don't be, We're happy to have you in our life, especially Donghyuck"

Donghyuck was focused on Y/n through out the conversation on the way she spoke and acted and how she would bow her head at every word, he looked at how she fidgeted whenever his parents spoke directly at her and he reaches out to push the hair behind her ear, making her look and he smiles "you're doing great" He praises, both implied as a don't worry and acting as his fiance

The King and Queen smiled at how affectionate their son was.

Once Dinner was served everybody started eating, Y/n joining the conversation from time to time until the King stood up "Donghyuck, I need to show you something, come with me"

Donghyuck looks at Y/n "you gonna-" he earned a small laugh from her, effectively cutting him off

"I'll be fine, besides, the King is more important then me"

Donghyuck shrugs and stands up "Well, not exactly"

Y/n blinks "What-?"

He winks teasingly and followed his father

Once they left the Queen stands, making Y/n to aswell "Lets go for a walk in the garden while they ready dessert?" She asks and Y/n nods

The queen leads her out into the hallway and into the garden, Y/n was amazed at how beautiful the flowers looked at night which made the Queen laugh "You've never seen the garden at night?"

"No, My Queen" She answers and stands, no longer kneeling to be face to face with the Iris Flowers "I was one of the maids in charge of keeping the rooms of the palace spotless, I'm usually cleaning at night"

The Queen nods and leads her at one of the garden chairs, letting her sit "Please, don't be so formal, We'll be family soon, its only fair to call me normally" She smiles at her teasingly "I wouldn't mind being called Mother by you either"

Y/n blushes, "I-" she starts out as the redness crawls up her neck making the Queen laugh more

She stops with a wave of her hand, while some maids place the tea and desserts on the table in front of them "Actually, Y/n, I would like to properly thank you", Y/n opens her mouth to speak but the Queen beat her to it "Thank you for returning Donghyuck's feelings and staying by his side, His Father and I have been worried, all we ever wanted is for him to be happy, and being with you does that to him" She smiles and reaches out to hold her hand "Thank you"

I’m Cold Taglist:

@staysstrays @tyongf-sunflower99 @jackyeonglli @rebel-lious-alien

If you wanna be added, leave a comment♡♡

[writteninkat]

xii - overwhelmed

word count - 2,220

"if i love you was a promise, would you break it if you're honest?"

index

You walk towards the classroom with your palms sweating and your heart about to beat right out of your chest. You had just confessed to Katsuki thinking he also felt the same, but all he replied was a lousy 'you don't even know me'.

You furrow your brows, clenching your palms into fists in irritation. How am I so stupid? I came to Japan to prove myself and to that dumb father of mine that I can be a powerful hero! And yet here I am being swept off track by some lousy high school crush!

"Careful- if you stare any harder you're gonna melt holes through the walls." A tired and very familiar voice calls out feom behind you. You turn around, anger still clouding your head as your eyes fall on a violet-haired boy.

"Careful- if you don't do anything about your lack of sleep anytime soon you're gonna collapse." You spat back; suddenly everything around you vexes you. You send a mental message to everyone in school; today you're hot-headed, your patience is as thin as a hair strand and taking out your anger through physical violence seems like an amazing idea right about now.

"Jokes on you, I've been like this my whole life and I've never collapsed." He smirks, causing you to raise a brow. "Okay maybe I never collapsed from my lack of sleep."

"Look what the hell do you want?"

"Well- thought you looked pretty upset." He holds up two pastel yellow-colored papers. "And I just so happen to have two free ice cream passes for that new ice cream place right beside the campus." He takes a look at his watch, "We still have an hour and thirty minutes till the bell rings. What do you say?"

"And that idiot just says 'you barely even know me'" You wave your hands up, making a dumb face as well as a dumb voice to match, "like hello! I know I barely know you and that's why I feel so upset and conflicted right now! You get what I mean???" You huff back on your seat, shoving the small pink translucent teaspoon in your mouth.

Shinsou nods his head, eyes on his ice cream as he shoves a few scoops in his mouth. "Mmm- this banana flavor tastes amazing. You should try it." He offers his cup to you, making you frown.

"You're such a jerk! I thought you brought me here to let me vent out my anger." You frown, your eyebrows knitting together as you place your cup on the table, leaning back on your seat as you crossed your arms.

"I did. I listened as you vented out your anger to me and we're having ice cream but I never said we were going to talk about the situation." He points out, annoyingly unbothered expression resting on his face as he continues eating his own ice cream.

You look at him in irritation and silence for a few moments, trying to calm yourself before taking your little teaspoon and scooping a bit from his own cup. You shove the scoop inside your mouth, pouting. "The banana tastes amazing." You huff, expression still angry.

Shinsou chuckles lightly, the small smile actually lighting up his usually dark features. "It is, isn't it?" You've only ever met one person with a so-called 'contagious smile' and he was the funny boy you met at the park one day.

Ethan will have to share his spot in my list for 'contagious smiles'. You thought to yourself, letting a smile break your frown as you look down at your ice cream.

"Have you seen the new conjuring movie? It's pretty cool, a solid six out of ten." He shrugs. You shake your head, "I can't watch scary movies. I won't be able to sleep especially now that I live alone."

He raises a brow at you, "Oh come on. We can watch it together through video chat or something. I really wanna see you piss yourself while watching it." He chuckles, causing you to squint your eyes at him. "Is that a challenge?" You point your spoon accusingly at him.

"What if it is? You gonna back out? Loser?" He pushes jokingly, mirroring your squinted eyes. You bring your hand on the table in a fist, "Oh it's on."

Shinso walks you to your classroom just five minutes before the bell is about to ring. "How can I contact you?" He asks, doing the thing with his hand behind his nape as he looks away. "Here." You tug at his hand, writing down your discord account with a marker. "Call me after the sun sets. I'll be home by then."

He waves you good bye and you step in, almost completely forgetting about why you were annoyed so early in the morning. Your eyes fall on the blond boy, still looking angry as usual. His eyes meet yours for a fraction of a second before your looking towards your seat.

As you sit down, the bell rings and in comes Aizawa, tired as ever. "Today, you will all be choosing your hero names. This has a lot to do with the Pro-Hero draft picks and because you are only first years, any offers can be taken back before you graduate." He explains, pointing at a chart where Todoroki's, Katsuki's and your names are written at the top with thousands of heroes wanting to recruit you.

"You will all spend one week interning with the pro heroes you choose or those who chose you, depending on if you have multiple offers or just one." Aizawa continues to talk about the importance of hero names before Midnight walks in the classroom.

The class begins to cheer in excitement as they all are given boards and markers for their names. The cheering and yelling dies down in a few minutes but the excitement doesn't. You smile, feeling your heart throb at the innocent looks in your classmates' faces.

Each of you all are being called up to present your hero names and as your turn slowly comes closer, your palms begin to sweat and that feeling of not being able to stand properly hits you.

"L/n Y/n. It's your turn, come on up sweetie." Midnight calls for you, curling her fingers a few times. You stand from your seat, walking towards the front, keeping your eyes forward and looking anywhere but Katsuki's eyes.

You flip your board around. "I chose the name Tempest. It means a violent windy storm." Midnight claps her hands, "I love it! Basically telling the villains not to mess with the storm." She cheers, allowing you to walk back to your seat.

"So! Have you guys chosen an agency yet?" Mina asks, shoveling food in her mouth as Kirishima and Sero follow suit. You shrug your shoulders, "I'm having a difficult time choosing between Hawks' agency or Endeavor's agency. I want to work on my speed but then again, Endeavor's the number two. It'd be a waste to throw this chance away."

"And yet," Denki points his fork at you, "It's also a waste to throw away the chance of working with Hawks. I heard he's the youngest pro right now who has his own agency and is in the top ten."

As you were about to scold the blond for talking with his mouth full, Katsuki marches towards the table, setting his tray down before sitting down beside Kirishima. You look at the empty space beside you and your mood immediately turns sour.

Wow. Sure, he has the right to feel uncomfortable with my sudden confession but to not actually have some type of closure? You sigh, not bothering to finish your food before standing up. You slide your tray to Denki, earning a cheery mouthful 'thanks!' from him before you walk away.

You walk out the classroom upset, tired and hungry. Your mind races back to the tuna sandwhiches the cafe sold and your mouth immediately begins to water.

"Hey idiot."

All your food fantasies disappear the moment his gruff yet very warm and relaxing voice calls out to you. To make sure you weren't about to embarrass yourself, you look in front of you, searching for someone else only to be greeted by an empty hallway.

Slowly, you turn around, pressing your lips together as you look at Katsuki with the most nonchalant look you could pull, no matter how much you wanted to scowl at him.

"What's up?" You ask, mentally slapping yourself. What's up? What's up??? Who the fuck do you think you are to him, Kirishima??

He looks awaw, walking towards you. "They have new matcha cookies today. I checked before I got here."

You stand there, staring at him for a second, two seconds, five- ten- "Dumbass. Yo. Can you hear me?" Katsuki snaps his fingers in front of you, gaining your attention as he snaps you out of your daze- literally. "Well?"

As much as you want to say yes, accept his offer and just live a happy life, you didn't want to live a confusing one where you get hurt in the end. "I don't see why you have to do this, honestly." You look to your right, looking out the windows.

"We hang out, I feel like you're treating me differently than the others, I feel like I'm special to you, I recognize my feelings, and although I feel conflicted and upset I still confess my feelings to you." You grip onto your bag, "And you respond to me by what- telling me I barely know you?"

You look back at him, the corners of your lips pulled downwards sightly. "Katsuki I- I got the message, okay? Don't do whatever this is to me because from my point of view, you're leading me on cause you can't voice out or even figure out your own feelings." You motion your arms between the two of you. "If you liked hanging out with me, I'm sorry but I gotta keep some distance between the two of us before I go confessing to you again like an idiot."

You stand there, eyes dropped to the floor in silence.

Say something, you idiot! Fucking say something to me! Tell me how you feel- it doesn't matter if it'll hurt me, just say something!

"I'm sorry."

You look up at him, confused. His brows are knitted together in dejection as his shoulders sag momentarily.

You feel your eyes prickle with tears as you nod, pressing your lips together. "Okay." You click your tongue, turning away as you walked from the unnervingly quiet boy.

As you reach your apartment, the sun has already set, you're tired, your cheeks are stained and are still being stained with tears and your phone is blaring.

You answer it without another thought, Shinsou's tired and relaxed voice giving you a soft 'hey'. You can hold it in much longer as you break down into sobs.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong? Talk to me, Y/n." He sounds genuinely concerned. You sob for a few moments, letting out all the emotion you've pent up inside you as you walked back to your apartment.

"I-I just-"

Another call interrupts the two of you, making you furrow your brows. "Hold on-" You sob, your eyes scanning down your screen to see your mom calling you. You put your call with Shinsou on hold, answering your mom.

"Hey mom!" You cheer, trying to act as gleeful as possible. "Hey baby! So I heard you have a boyfriend, your aunt Miwa sent me a picture of the two of you in the paintball place? I just thought maybe you wanted to know about that boy's abrasive and violent past?"

He's not your boyfriend.

"What- you looked into him?" You yell.

"Well I had to! It's my first time my baby has a boyfriend. Anyway, I don't mean to be that mom but I don't think he's a good fit for you, honey. He's bullied countless students in middle school and after observing how he acted in the sports festival, I don't think that boy changed at all." Your mother does sound truly concerned for you but everything seemed to be too much for you today.

Before you can even think of the sentences you want to say, you hear a knock on your door. You sigh, pacing towards it as you pull it open, brows furrowing in anger at the sight of your father in front of you.

"Y/n I just want a second chance-"

You yell.

You yell out your frustrations, your sadness, your hesrtsches, everything. Every single emotion you felt today just came pouring out as you yelled from the top of your lungs.

Your body falls to the floor as your limbs begin feeling like jell-o and your head begins to spin. You hear your father ordering his guards around frantically, but his words are all muffled and unclear. You begin seeing double- seeing two of your father really isn't helping right now.

"Hey, Y/n, baby keep your eyes open for me. I'll bring you to the hospital just-"

"Can all of you just shut the fuck up for a moment?" You whisper weakly before darkness swallows you up once again.

It's cold. It's dark. You're alone.

You're always alone.

[theyscreamjade]

Heyy!, i saw your request being open so, can I request a headcannon for shoto, izuku, katsuki and shinso of their s/o having an "alt" style, thigh higs, skirts, fishnets, loong sweaters, doc martens and of course the eyeliner are like their fashion, I'll be so happy if you can do it!

Have a great day, don't forget to take care of yourself 🥺💓💓

Alternative S/O

-OH MY GAWD! This is why I’m falling for you, Anon..or Anon’s? You’re my peeps and always will be! I have a few outfits that I found on Pinterest to go with the headcanon! Also...as a fellow Alt, if I may act thirsty in these, forgive me. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Cursing!

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Hitoshi Shinso

* If you think this man will judge you by what you wear, think again.

* I honestly believe he’s wearing the same style as you, which would look gorgeous together.

* He loves that you wear what you please and don’t give a fuck what anyone has to say.

* One thing he honestly loves about you, Fishnets. He loves seeing them on you..in and outside the bedroom with that~

* Now, With your makeup and that sharp eyeliner? Honey.

* Even though he loves your bare face, that eyeliner adds the extra pop to your style and he can’t help but admire it. He loves when you do the double eyeliner though.

* Hell, half the time, the moonlights glowing on your skin and it just looks gorgeous.

* He won’t let you use his face as a practice dummy, but he’ll kindly give you his arm to practice all you want and he’s always ready with makeup wipes for you.

* If anyone says that your clothing style is strange or something, expect that person to either come back to you brainwashed.

* Each outfit you wear will always stay on his mind because he knows what you wear will be an absolute masterpiece in his eyes.

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•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Izuku Midoriya

* This Broccoli boy here loves you for you. No matter what you wear, he’s a freaking simp when he falls for you.

* You might convince him to take those damn red shoes off for once. (and if you do...Thank you.)

* He loves seeing you accessorize your clothing but loves it when you include his too.

* Like when you wear his hoodie as a dress with a pair of stockings and whatever shoe to your liking.

* Fight me on this, he loves when you wear accessories on your thighs. For example to the outfit at the top.

* We all know this boy is a probably certified freak once he loses that card and thighs are his shit. I don’t care!

* (I don’t care!)

* When it comes to makeup, he doesn’t seem to understand the purpose because you’re fine to him. He loves when you use the eyeliner to make fake freckles on your face, You two match and it’s so cute!

* He may be the type to be your test dummy for styles you’d want to try or practice the perfect eyeliner with him. (As long as he doesn’t t blink too damn much.)

* He will say something if someone even speaks about your outfit other than a compliment and you do realize this man can kill someone with a single flick of his finger right?

* (And another thing, if you have a chance. Burn those damn shoes and buy him more with style! PLEASE!!)

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•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Shoto Todoroki

* I can’t tell you enough how much this man loves your alternative style.

* Each outfit you wear just makes him swoon. Fishnets, docs, converse, large sweaters, and more, he fucking loves it.

* I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if this man falls for someone with a style like this because he loves the difference in others.

* IcyHot here loves you in graphic shirts and doc boots. He honestly loves it when you wear baggy jeans too.

* He will BUY graphic shirts for you to wear. (But I do him buying one with Endeavor hate on it too.)

* You rock each and every outfit to a full perfect T and he’s just eating it up.

* Makeup though? He can’t help but admire it but also another he doesn’t see the purpose too. You’re perfect the way you are but he admires the hard work you put into it. (Just don’t let him touch it.)

* He loves seeing you get creative with your eyeliner, from a simple wing to an eyeliner with a heart on your cheek.

* He’ll be confused if you even ask him such a thing but would eventually accept and might like it. (....Alt Todoroki.)

* He will death glare anyone who talks about what you’re wearing though, but his father. He has a plan for him.

* The next time you two go shopping, that credit card is about to be maxed.

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Katsuki Bakugo

* Another silent simp that’ll be engaged to your style.

* I swear, he might start wearing Doc Martin’s because of you, especially how great they look on you.

* He loves it when you wear large sweaters as dresses.

* BUT DO NOT WEAR CHAINS. DONT FUCKING DO IT.

* (It’ll influence him and I swear to fucking god, he’s alright now but if I see his ass wearing a goddamn chain or more, I’m a dead bitch)

* And it might be used during the nasty~ AGAIN, MIGHT.

* He doesn’t care when it comes to makeup but he does see how hard you work for it though.

* As much as he doesn’t want to admit, he loves you to use fake lashes with your eyeliner. Black, grey, or more colors especially red eye shadow just makes him stare a bit more.

* HE WILL NOT BE YOUR TEST DUMMY...until you ask him for the 30th time, then he’ll accept angrily. Just don’t fuck up or take a picture, he will purposely hold your phone in his pocket so you won’t get any ideas.

* We all know what he’d do is anyone says anything about you, compliment or not, they’re dead.

* He may surprise you with a shopping trip and let you buy some clothes though, and will hold your bags the whole time.

[i-watch-too-many-movies]

5 Favorite First Viewings of July 2021

Quick note: Hi everyone, I'm back, things have honestly been getting better for me, and I'm glad to be on this site full of cinephiles, people that are too horny, and cinephiles that are too horny. I'll be more active on here. But anyway, let's talk about some movies.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) (dir. Russ Meyer)

CW: Abortion mention

What a picture. What a gorgeous, sexy, horrifying slice of what Hollywood and star life can do to a bunch of bright-eyed young people looking for success. Also is a critique of how macho nature can ruin friendships and romantic relationships with total ease. I was obsessed with the scene transitions, like Pet pouring pancake mix onto a plate after the abortion scene, or Kelly singing after someone screams before their murder in the opening scene.

Great, campy flick with exceptional music too.

Deep Cover (1992) (dir. Bill Duke)

Laurence Fishburne plays Russell Stevens, a Cincinnati police officer who hopes to do well by the community, to make a difference. He’s traumatized by the death of his substance-abusing father, and wants to make sure that he can help the people of his own town. He goes undercover on assignment as a drug dealer, where his boss orders him to take down the kingpin. Stevens realizes the police’s own failings while on assignment. The racist abuse he takes from Agent Carver, and the realization that the police department is protecting drug kingpins like Gallegos and Barbossa. Giving drugs to Black kids and Latinx kids so there will be less of them. The cops are no different than the drug kingpins looking to make filthy amounts of money.

Fishburne’s performance is excellent, as Stevens feels he has to maintain a stone face so he doesn’t get caught by Jason or Barbossa or any of his cronies, but also he maintains a stone face to try and hide his emotion, his trauma. But when he gets pissed, Fishburne acts it beautifully, as is when he has to deliver a funny quip to counter Jason’s douchebaggery. And the production design, holy fuck, the sets and the lighting.

A perfect neo-noir for the HW Bush years, arguably one of the most timeless commentaries on the era, as well as the police as a whole.

Fast Five (2011) (dir. Justin Lin)

I was torn between including this or Furious 7, but I ultimately went with Fast Five because it felt like an important turning point in the series, it's a great heist film, and it reached the same chaotic highs and genuinely excellent filmmaking that I had been waiting for since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift.

Fast Five opens where Fast & 4ious left off. Dom is hauled away to prison on a bus. Mia and Brian drive in their high-tech cars and knock the bus over, helping Dom escape. The title drops. Fast Five. It’s such an intense yet short action scene, and dropping the title immediately after it lets the viewer know that this movie is not fucking around. It’s arguably gonna be more intense and insane than the previous one.

And it is. The filmmakers made the decision to use a lot more practical stunt work for the film, and as a result, it leads to, so far, the best action in the entire series, since 2 Fast and Tokyo Drift. It’s not just how it’s shot or edited, it’s the geography of the locations, the rooftop chase echoes the rooftop chase of Jackie Chan’s masterwork Police Story, particularly the way each character bounces from top to top.

And of course, there’s the silliest moment in the movie, the one that matches the intensity and kineticism of a film like 2 Fast, which is driving the Reyes’ bank vault throughout the street, getting chased by corrupt cops.

I know we make fun of Vin Diesel for saying “family” all the time in these films, but there’s a reason we remember him saying all of these impassioned monologues. Because he’s unbelievably sincere, and has so much love in his heart for every single person in the room. Anytime he delivers a speech to any of them, it’s genuinely heartwarming.

This is the film that finally shows La Familia in their best environment, which is working together, in a movie genre that allows them to work together, which is a heist film. And a great one at that.

Last Days (2005) (dir. Gus Van Sant)

CW: Mention of suicide

Several films have been made about legendary rock artist Kurt Cobain, and for good reason. He is one of the most tragic figures in rock and roll. A tortured genius who has written and performed classic song after classic song with his band Nirvana. He was called the voice of a generation, and helped change the face of mainstream alternative rock music as we know it. But with that fame, and all of those expectations came a worsening depression and further drug abuse, and his eventual death. But most of the films about Kurt Cobain ask one question which gets under my skin way too much:

“Who REEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY killed Kurt Cobain?”

It was him. He did. And it’s okay, I’m sad too. Thinking that Kurt Cobain was murdered is completely ignoring the depression that he faced. And despite Last Days being more inspired by the death of Cobain rather than actually about it, it feels much more honest than the conspiracy documentaries on his death, wanting to leech off of his dead body.

This is the last installment of Gus Van Sant’s “Death Trilogy”, the previous two installments being Gerry (2001), and Elephant (2003). While I have not seen Gerry, I have seen Elephant though, and love that film for its minimalist, raw nature, and its boldness for not romanticizing the school shooter or the lives they had taken. Last Days falls into that trap once, as I don’t agree with the shot of Blake’s soul climbing up a ladder, that always struck me as cheesy in a film that is anything but.

Last Days is similar to Elephant in terms of the way it is filmed. Its usage of long takes, and still shots of characters doing various things, such as Blake playing his guitar behind a drum set. The way these moments are shot is similar to a Chantal Akerman film, particularly Jeanne Dielman. Where the acts of the mundane are the stars of the film. Blake wanders around an empty house, and the viewer can feel the pain, not just through Michael Pitt’s acting, but from the house itself. Its decay, its paint peeling from the walls, from the soft glow of the lamp that lights his face.

I say this is the most honest film about Kurt Cobain, because, despite the characters technically being fictional (the main character who looks, walks, and acts like Cobain is named Blake), this film focuses on the mental state of a person before they eventually take their own life. They’re still working, still making music, still trying to talk to friends and bandmates, but the depression lingers on. Not once does this film try to make you believe that someone else killed him, because you can see the signs of his own suicide taking place just through the film’s excellent cinematography by Harris Savides, showing his mental state only growing worse through the production design.

And it’s empathetic with him. There’s no judgement for leaving rehab, there’s no finger-wagging at him or the people he was with, there’s just a silent prayer at the end of the film, hoping that he is in a better place than he was.

Sometimes you don’t need to show every event that led you to where you are, all you can show is the moment, which also makes this better than most biopics as well, as it never feels messy or muddled, just showing one moment of Blake/Kurt’s life.

I really loved this film, and I’ll be writing about it in full soon.

The Village (2004) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

The Cracked.com/Channel Awesome audience stuck in 2012 will tell you that this was the beginning of the end for Shyamalan. That this was when people stopped taking him seriously, that this was when he became more of a punchline because of his twist endings.

But why?

The Village was released in 2004, deep in the Bush administration, during the early stages of the Iraq War. The leaders of the time were talking about imaginary boogeymen, terrorists that would attack the civilians if they could. Because of 9/11, politicians could get away with these false ideas with the majority of Americans fully believing them. The boogeymen in The Village are “The People We Don’t Speak Of”, monsters attracted by the color red. Yet we find out that they are all costumes made by the Elders of the land, designed to prevent people from going outside the land. They rule by fear disguised as love. They’ve gone through their own traumas through the deaths of their family members, but they’ve decided to completely abandon the lives that they’ve had and have their children living lies.

9/11 impacted American life by teaching citizens to live primarily by fear, to not trust anyone but their own people. And yet, post-9/11, all that increased was not “coming together”, but hate crimes against South Asian people. The rage white Americans had felt led to conservative politicians pushing fear-mongering agendas, and said white Americans blindly accepted. The outside world was progressing, but too many people were fine with living with further conservative politics only regressing American life further and further back, all for the illusion of safety. Meanwhile, the only threats to them were not the brown citizens outside of America they were so afraid of, but the white elders, the white politicians.

The Village explores these fears so eloquently, all while having a terrifying atmosphere, an enchanting score, and brilliant sound design. I enjoyed this movie very much.

Other viewings I enjoyed:

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996) (dir. Mike Judge) (re-watch)

Blow Out (1981) (dir. Brian de Palma) (re-watch)

Clueless (1995) (dir. Amy Heckerling) (re-watch)

Furious 7 (2015) (dir. James Wan)

The Long Goodbye (1973) (dir. Robert Altman)

Lupin III: The First (2019) (dir. Takashi Yamazaki)

Unbreakable (2000) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan) (re-watch)

Velvet Goldmine (1998) (dir. Todd Haynes)

The Visit (2015) (dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

[wornoutmouse]

Dio x black reader (18+)

Honestly, this is just my headcanon of Dio experiencing black girl magic for the first time. And throughout re-reading it I can't tell if I'm supposed to be horny, moved, or amused. I think this is my longest one

Chav: White Trash/Low ClassLove

Divots: Love handles but I wanted to be fancy

You were a cop that loved your job no matter the hardships.

Walking the streets of England was risky business as both a woman and a person of color so you had experienced numerous close calls with criminals that didn't take your training seriously. Your co-workers were peaceful enough, but you didn't miss the lustful glazes you would receive as you walked through the office every morning. Your boss, on the other hand, was a menace. Ever since you denied his advances when you first arrived, he's been making it his mission in life to make your life miserable. 

He, of course, was the reason you were standing outside at 11:00 in the night shivering under a night post. "That bloody chav, just wait till I move up in ranks!" you growled wrapping your trenchcoat tightly around your body as a soft gust of wind blew against you. 

The wind howled past your ears and for once you were glad for wearing your nautural hair out today as it braced fiercely against the strong winter winds. The night was quiet as everyone in their right mind had headed inside for the night but you couldn't help but feel as though eyes were trained on you. "Must be my nerves acting up again." you muttered rubbing your gloved hands together. You huffed causing cool white air to form in front of you. 

"Meow."

Shifting where you stood, you look around with only your eyes, trying to find the source of what you hope to be a newfound friend. A few feet to your right stood a thin tom cat walking hesitantly towards you. You crouch lowly, opening your coat to the feline, "Join me oh furry one, let us share our life source with each other!" 

 You chuckle at your own foolishness but stop as you watch in amazement as the cat seemed to be convinced as it stalks towards you. The cat was within your very grasp but before you could grab it, it jerked its head to gaze behind you, hissing with its back arched before it scampered off. "Huh, that's funny." 

 You stand back up before yelping as you back into someone standing behind you. "Oh excuse me." you say stepping to the side. "No need for apologize woman." a deep voice responds to you. The man was tall and you had to crane your neck just to simply gaze up at him. 

 Blue eyes gazed down at you through golden locks that fell beautifully over his face. Even though he had shown no sign of hostility, you felt great unease by simply standing near him. "Your declaration of neutrality for the cat moved me deeply." the strange man declared, and you couldn't help but giggle awkwardly at the obvious joke. "Yeah well, during times of need it's best to set aside differences." The man raised his hand to his chin in thought. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

 The man had yet to leave as his gaze became even more unsettling. His eyes traveled down and settled on your curvacious hips. "Um, can I help you sir?" you ask backing up slightly only for the tall man to evade the space once again. Under his breath, you could hear the man mutter, "Yes, you are perfect." 

You look up at the man one more time as your eyesight begins to fades to black.  

 When you came to, you find yourself lying down on a bed that was not your own. You were dressed loosely in nothing but a silk slip and you could feel goosebumps along your skin from being exposed to the cool air. "Wha-what?" You jerk your head at the shift in movement to your right. At first glance, you couldn't see anything residing in the dark shadows of the room. But having years of experience with being in dark places, your eyes quickly adjusted as you noticed the unfamiliar ways the shadows blended together.

 You stare blankly into the darkness, positive that something resided within the cover of it. You suck in a breath as you feel a small shift in temperature move past your face and you quickly turn your face to the other side of the room.

"As I thought, you adjust quickly to your surroundings." a voice rumbled from the darkness and you could hear your heart thump in your ears as two bright red eyes peered at you from the end of the bed. You brought your legs to your chest as you felt the bed dip. You watched with fearful eyes as your assailant crawled towards you. From the darkness, a hand reaches out at lightning speed taking hold of your ankle, dragging you towards them. "What do you want?!"

As if oblivious to your agitation, a calloused hand takes hold of your thigh, gripping the large expanse of skin tightly. "While you are larger than preferred, I assume it is a given if I desire a woman with hips wide enough to effectively deliver me respectable offspring." You sputter as you feel your face warm, "Offspring?! What in the hell are you talking about you deviant!" You attempt to throw a punch only for your wrists to be taken captive by much larger ones. "This temper of yours may be a problem however." The man chuckled, "Though I supposed that too is a given due to your, 'ethnic' background." You glare through the darkness up at the deranged man, "You have some nerve." 

As if finally acknowledging you as a sentient being, he gazes up at you, eyebrows furrowed and red glowing eyes determined. "Young woman, fear not and rejoice for you have been chosen for the highest honor imaginable!" You tense as the man comes closer to your face, 'Damn it, it's always the pretty ones.' you silently think to yourself. Though there was a large shift in eye color, this was indeed the man you met outside.

 "You have been chosen personally by I Dio Brando! To become his queen in the new empire I shall forge in my own image!" 

 Many emotions flowed through your mind at that bold statement, but in the end, humor won out as you burst into laughter in the man, Dio's face. Dio tilted his head in slight confusion before moving on, dawning a triumphant face one again.

"I know not what you find amusing, but I am ready to implant my seed deep inside your womb!" At that, you suddenly realize the reality of the situation you were in, "You can't be serious, release me now!" Dio chuckled humorously, "It is okay to feel frightened, but I assure you, I will make this pleasurable for you as well." You open your mouth to retort, Dio, serges forward latching onto your lips with painful passion. You feel a shiver journey up your spine as Dio's larger hands hold your waist squeezing your love divots.

Dio releases you from his lip-lock with a loud smack as a thin strand of saliva connects the two of you. You blink; slightly dazed as you take in Dio's equally as flushed face, "What's the matter playboy? Cat got your tongue?" Dio frowned at your teasing as he shifted in place, "Have you somehow cast a spell on me? There is no other way to explain how someone with such prestige as me could possibly become undone by a simple kiss."

 Dio serges forward once again capturing your plump lips into his own with such fervor, you would think he was searching for something. You moan softly into the kiss as Dio's tongue explored your mouth, caressing every inch of it with purpose. Tugging your lower lip in between his teeth as he retreats. He looks at you for a while with visible confusion before speaking again, "The only other answer for this is obvious. You were bestowed onto me by the gods carved perfectly to aid me on my journey" 

 You quirked an eyebrow as you breathe shallowly, mind seemingly clouded with your newfound lust. "I don't know much about what your babbling on about, but I'll let you carry on." You fell back as you are folded over by Dio, legs propped high in the air. "Though I feel that cunnilingus isn't needed for the task at hand, I hold the desire to taste you." You roll your eyes as you listened to the monologue 'Dio' declared to himself.

Internally, you knew that this was a bad idea and only evil could follow you in being involved with this man but some unseen force was keeping you from resisting as you lied compliant under the larger man. Maybe he was right and 'the gods' placed you here for a purpose. Or maybe you were drugged. The most obvious answer, though you hate to admit, was the fact that you hadn't gotten laid in so long, you were willing to accept charity cases.

 

Dip looked down at you with an emotion that even I, the author am unable to describe. While I would love to say it was fondness, that just wasn't possible for how short of a time you've known each other. The only other word I can think out would maybe be admiration. 

 Dio was one to go above and beyond putting his heart into everything he did, but your simplicity aroused him so greatly it was rather concerning. Your attitude towards him ensured that you would be the perfect queen when he molded you accordingly. Your looks were only a bonus, slender legs heightening your perspective making you at least 6 feet in height though that was no novelty considering his large build. 

Plump lips with a curious sliver of pink covering the entrance of your bottom lip as they parted so beautifully. The taste of them sent his head spinning as if he was addicted, the best kind of addiction. Your skin though shrouded in darkness, shined so brightly in the moonlight that he would have thought you were glowing with an otherwordly power. Dio once again bows his head and captures your luscious lips within his to experience the euphoria once again.

 He may have said that you should be honored to be in his presence but at the moment he felt the greatest honor for being one of the few and one of the last men that would be allowed to bed you. The small whimpers you released as he explored your mouth tasted like the sweetest nectar. He released you and watched your breast heave from the passion he released. 

 He would never admit to these claims but at that moment Dio looked as if he had struck gold as he pulled up your slip and kissed into the crevices of your stomach. You shiver as more skin was exposed to the cool air and you would have sworn Dio was even colder. "If you would, please allow me to taste you." 

Your eyes widened for even you could tell that this manner of speaking was not the norm for Dio. His face was unusually flushed as his red eyes gazed up at you pleading for your permission. "Carry on." was all you said before he continued on his journey, kissing your inner thighs which to your horror, were bare as the day you were born. "Sir, may I ask where my undergarments reside?!" you ask thoroughly embarrassed causing Dio to dawn that shit-eating smirk he has carried since the moment you met.

 "I saw no point to them as I knew they would be off soon enough." You pouted as Dio peppered kisses on your navel before finally licking your clitoris with his rather rough tongue. Dio felt as though he reached Nirvana as he drank in your pleasured moans. The taste of you on his tongue was like the finest wine and he couldn't tell if it was from his carnivorous attributes or were you truly a diamond in the rough. 

 You grip the sheets below you as Dio used his tongue to caress your folds before delving deeper into your warm heat. Dio had long since grown used to the feeling of being cold but the way your warmth surrounded him made him miss the feeling. Internally he debated with himself if this is what love felt like or if this was just the effects of having your thick thighs clamped around his head. While feasting, Dio couldn't help by growl lowly as your nimble finger-combed through his hair only to clench as he made a peculiar lick to your upper walls.

 Feeling satisfied for now he sits up chuckling at your whine as you reached out for him. "I was not going to undress more than necessary for this but I feel as though you have earned it my pet." Dio removed his jacket and shirt exposing his impressive muscles. You salivate thinking of the power behind each pectoral that would now be used on you. 

Dio once again takes hold of your legs, but instead of positioning to enter you, he lifts you off the bed holding you in his arms. "I shall honor this experience by trying a position I have never done before."  You are slightly woozy from the shift in elevation as you wrap your arms around Dio's neck with such a force and normal man would have cried out. 

 (but not dio cause he isn't like other girls)

 Dio kisses you as he presses a hesitant finger inside of you. You moan as he trails kisses down your neck. He was extremely hesitant to even nibble you due to his fangs but the way your looked drowning in pleasure was too great to not take advantage of. You jump as you feel something sharp pierce your neck but not deep enough to draw blood. You spasm on his fingers as your first orgasm takes over you. "God yes!" Dio smirked at your blissed face as he once again takes your lower lip into his mouth.

 "Yes, thank your God for giving you such satisfa-" before he could finish, you lifted yourself and wrapped your legs around his neck, putting all your weight on him in order to cause him to fall back on the ground. "Don't ruin this please." You say looking down at him. 

Dio couldn't look more in love as he takes hold of your ass molding it in between his large hands. You scoot down to Dio's still clocked cock. Massaging it gently, before reaching in and pulling it out, you release a loud gasp at the sight. His cock was enormous, far bigger than any you had seen before. "Don't look so surprised my dear, from now on only expect the most of me." 

You gulp shallowly as you shyly lick the shaft trying to find a way to lube the monstrosity. Dio grits his teeth and closes his eyes as a way to truly feel the pleasure you were delivering to him. You knew you couldn't take him all the way in but damn it if you weren't going to try. As you sucked down, you felt a hand come to rest on your head pushing you forward as Dio grunted. "Take it pet, you can do it." 

You whimper as you feel the head of his cock touch the back of your throat and continuing down. You do your best to breathe out your nose since it was obvious that Dio wasn't letting you stop anytime soon. You had only a little left to go but you knew you wouldn't be able to so you tapped out. Dio smirked grabbing your waist and sitting you down on his cock. Briefly, you rock back and forth covering it in your fluids before you feel like your ready.

"Because you've been so good for me pet, I'll allow you this gift though I personally feel that simply being in my presence you should be wetter than the ocean!" in his had, there is a small box containing a flask. "Alcohol?" you asked sniffing lightly over the entrance. Before you can raise the drink to your lips, Dio snatches it away, "It's oils my dear." you laugh a little scratching the back of your head.

 Dio's face reddened from the sound of your laughter but he shook his self out of his stupor before you could notice. Taking the lube back, you pour a generous amount on your hand before massaging it along with Dio's cock which had now turned a bit pink from being unattended for so long. "How long is this thing?" you mutter silently to yourself making Dio smirk flicking his hair haughtily. "I don't think I should tell you for your mortal mind would not be able to comprehend its glor-" Dio choked on his words quickly reaching out to hold your plush thighs as you slid down a 5th of the way on his cock. 

"Sl-Slow down, pet, w-wouldn't want you to hurt yourself!" Dio moaned as you lightly bounced holding your thighs in a vice grip. Throughout the dark and empty room, you could the high moans you released as you slowly but surely impaled yourself further. "D-Dio, I'm tired!" you stuttered out taking time to catch your breath. "Good." was all Dio said before he began fucking up into you pushing the rest of his member inside of you. 

 Tear's welled up in your eyes as you felt as if you were being split into by his brute strength. You fell forward on Dio's chest having no strength left in your body to hold yourself up as his pelvis slammed into you rhythmically. "Feel me. Feel as your body molds itself perfectly for my cock!" Dio grabs your arms and yanks them back forcing you to sit up and bounce on his cock subsequently making him sheath deeper into you. "Christ!" you cried out as you felt his cock reach impossibly deep inside of you. Your walls trembled with each push of your cervix.

 You were dripping limitlessly on Dio's stomach as your fluids combined together in a swirl of emotion. An emotion so great, neither of you could deny what was there. The way that this otherwise complete stranger was enraptured with you as he watched you boil over with ecstasy was an emotion unmeasured by any science the world would ever be able to come up with. "I'm coming!" Dio declared as he slammed your hip down as he reached his peak, spilling his seed deep within you just as he promised. You shiver as you felt a new kind of warmth filling you to the brim. Dio bends towards you, once again taking your lips within his as he circles your clit bringing you to a satisfying orgasm.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Unexpected Places (Pt. 05 of 11)

Pairing: Ivar the Boneless X Reader/Bjorn X Reader

Word count: 2.5 K

Summary: As a princess, you've lived in a golden cage all your life, always a piece on someone else's game. But everything changed when the Norsemen came crushing down on Wessex, like waves in a violent storm. Their king spared your life and decided to take you with him to his kingdom, in what felt more like a rescue than a kidnapping. There, you were not only confronted with a completely different culture and lifestyle, but also with two of his sons. The oldest one has his eyes set on you, but it's the youngest one, Ivar, who gets who claimed your attention since the first sight. And he seems to have an unnamed interest in you. Of course you hoped whatever that was would pass, but when unexpected feelings start to flow a different way, things begin to change.

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{Vikings Masterlist}

×

The Crippled And The Blind

The loud voices, laughter, and yells are echoing through the house. Ragnar is with a group of wanderers that just stopped by. He seems to be getting along with them since they're all very friendly and brought good things to trade. You have no intention of interrupting the conversation, so you stay on the inside. You make your way to the hanging table, sitting on it as usual. You're still softly swinging when you hear Ivar's unmistakable footsteps, and a small smile comes to your lips. You do try to push it back, but when he comes to your sight, it's still there, in full display.

“Won't you join the party?” He asks, coming to stand next to you by the table, his free hand holding on the chains.

“No. If I show up out there, Ragnar will introduce me as an England princess and I wouldn't want to steal all the attention he's been getting.” You answer in a sassy tone, shrugging your shoulders. “What about you? I bet they'd love to meet Ivar the Boneless.”

His smile only gets bigger, and a chuckle leaves his lips. Things with Ivar have been... Different. In the last weeks, you've been chatting a lot, more and more every day. But you're keeping a distance. The stories about Ivar reached your ears quickly, and you know he's dangerous. Still, it's getting hard to see that side of him when he's been treating you so... Kindly. It got people talking too. Hvitserk said Ivar is surprising him, acting like that. But you try not to overthink, and just take one day after the other and see how it happens. So far, you're enjoying your talking.

“Let the old man have it.” He mutters, pushing the wood and making you swing again. “I was planning on taking a walk on the beach.” Speaking slow, he smirks at you. “Wanna join me?”

Biting your lower lip, you nod, jumping to the ground. “Why not?”

You both go through one of the doors on the back, and you realize Ivar can keep a fast pace despite the clutch. The cold wind makes you brace yourself by the time you reach the sand, and you lightly rub your arms.

“Should've brought a warm cloak.” He mutters, glancing at you.

“I'm alright.” Pulling a strand of hair away from your face, you stop by a small boat. “What's the reason for this?”

“Reason?”

“Yeah.” Leaning your back against the boat, you shrug your shoulders. “You never invited me for anything like this.”

“Maybe it was because I never thought you'd accept.” Sighing, he sits on the sand, resting the clutch on his legs.

“And why would you think that?” Looking down at him, you cross your arms. “I thought we were somehow friends by now.” You're still unsure of where exactly you are with Ivar. With Hvitserk, it was almost instantly, and you've been good friends since day one. Ubbe took longer, but you have a nice relationship with him as well, even though you're not as close as you are with Hvitserk. But Ivar... It's different, you're still not quite sure why. “Or have I misread things?”

“I like to think we are friends, princess.” When you finally look at him, those blue eyes are already set on you.

With your cheeks burning, your heart starts beating faster, drumming on your ears. “We are.” You assure him, taking a deep breath and settling down beside him, looking at the ocean. The waves are strong today, loudly crashing on the sand.

“Good.” He bumps his shoulder against yours. “Not many women want to... Hang around with me.”

His statement makes you pinch your eyebrows together. “Why?” You can't imagine a reason for any girl not want to... What? Be around Ivar? Or maybe have some attention from him. Of course you can only speak for yourself, but the Vikings must be mesmerized by his strength. By the stories they tell about him. And on top of that, you're not blind. Ivar is handsome, very handsome. Any woman would love to get his eyes set on her.

“Isn't it obvious?” Ivar gestures at his legs and only then this ‘obvious’ come to your mind.

“Oh.” Staring at the metal clothed legs, you shake your head lightly. It never really got to you. It's not that you haven't noticed, but it never played an important part in your judgment of him.

“Bad news, princess. I'm a crippled.” He sing songs, his voice a lot darker.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you push your legs up, hugging your knees. “I know you're a crippled. But being honest, I don't see the problem.” It isn't hard to guess this affects him. Mostly being a Viking. You know he wishes he could rush through the battlefield, fighting, riding a strong horse. But he can't. It probably kills him inside.

“Then I'm the crippled and you're the blind.” He suddenly snaps, and when you look at him, he's shaking his head no. “Don't be stupid. Every woman here wants an Ubbe. Or a Bjorn. Standing tall and strong, well experienced by the many wars they–”

“You're tall.” Cutting him off, you elbow him. “And I know you can fight. People aren't terrified of you for no reason. So drop it, you're not less of a Viking just because you can't walk as other people can.”

He chuckles, and when his eyes meet yours, you suddenly notice the proximity. You're not that close, but you were never this close... “Are you joking?”

“No.” You honestly answer, smiling. “I get that people look at you and see the legs first. But I didn't. I...” Will you really tell him this? You've been lying and hiding so many things from people while on Wessex, and here, you want to do the exact opposite. You want to speak the truth, whatever the truth is because nobody will curse you for it. And maybe, it'll make Ivar feel better. “Actually, the first thing I noticed were your eyes.”

“Really?” Furrowing his eyebrows, you can tell he's not very convinced.

“Really.” You simply say.

“You're pretty stupid then.” Ivar bursts out, but, as much as you feel a little offended at first, you're quick to get the mocking tone behind it. “You see a crippled and the thing that gets your attention is the eye color.”

“I'll ignore the insult.” Nodding to yourself, you bite back a laugh, looking at the ocean again. “But if that's your opinion, I'll accept it.”

“You're both.”

“Both?”

“Both pretty and stupid.”

“I...” It takes a few seconds to process what he just said. You're still staring at the horizon, not brave enough to face those eyes, strong and bright, burning through your skin. Your cheeks are burning again, so you look down at your hands, hoping the hair that falls will hide your blushing face. “It goes both ways.” Taking a deep breath, you stand up, dusting off the sand from your dress. “You're as stupid as you're handsome.” Sustaining his stare for a while, watching as his face light up and a smile comes to his lips, you turn your back at him, walking away. You hear a giggle, but decide to ignore it.

“I didn't know you could be sassy.” Ivar raises his voice to make himself heard through the growing distance you're putting in between the two of you.

“You don't know me, dear.” Turning around and walking backward, you smile. “What? Do you think chatting during the meals is enough? You have no idea who I am.”

“Who knows? Maybe we can change that.”

“Maybe.” Shrugging your shoulders, you give your back at him and leave the beach.

The next hours you spend with Aslaug, as she complains about the wanderers. They're nothing like this other man who came by years ago, she says. They're too loud for her taste, too rude. And, since it's a Viking complaining about those things, she might be right. But, despite all that, she still attends to the feast Ragnar insisted on giving. You already know that people here don't really need a reason to cook insane amounts of food and invite everyone over to eat and dance and party until the sun is about to rise again. So you join them.

The celebration has been going on for quite a while now, a few hours went by since you showed up. You already ate, so now, drinking from a horn, you stand beside Helga next to the table where her husband happily tells some people his stories. “He keeps staring,” Helga mutters as you take another sip from your drink.

“Who?”

“Bjorn.”

“Oh.” Trying to be discreet, you take a look where he's seated, slightly nodding at him when your eyes meet. “Since the horse incident, we haven't been speaking much.”

“Aslaug told me an interesting story,” Helga smirks, and you furrow your eyebrows at her. “Hvitserk and Ivar. She said you have a... Curious relationship with both of them and she has no idea who you like.”

“Hvitserk is just a friend.” You speak fast, almost choking on your drink. “We've been friends since I got here basically, but that's it.”

She raises an eyebrow, her eyes moving from you to Ivar. That's when you notice you know exactly where he is. “You explained your relationship with one of them... What about the other?”

That makes you restless because you feel like giving the same answer you gave about Hvitserk isn't completely true. But how exactly can you explain it? “Ivar and I are... Friends... Not as close as Hvitserk, Uhm... We're actually just starting to–”

“I haven't noticed this one yet.” A raspy, strong voice says, and your attention is taken by the three men who came to stand behind you.

“She's a pretty one.” The taller, with dirty blonde hair, says. Stepping back, you stand next to Helga.

“More than pretty.” The third one, with a heavy accent, adds. “Are you a servant?”

“No, I–”

“Of course she isn't. Look at her dress.” The first one, with a braided beard, cuts you off before you can say anything, coming closer and forcing you and Helga to give a step back. His eyes are evil as they travel through your body, up and down. “Her jewels...” His hand comes to touch your necklace, and the other, the blond, moves to your side, pulling the skirt of your dress.

“She's under Aslaug's protection,” Helga speaks up, pulling you to the side a little. But by the way the man smiles, it doesn't seem like they care.

“Is she?” The blond asks, but it doesn't sound like he wants an answer.

You're about to say something, anything when another figure comes from behind you. Your heart starts pounding, but you're relieved when you recognize Bjorn. He stands between you, Helga, and those men. “My friends, why don't you join me for a drink?” He says, a hand behind his back gesturing for you to leave.

Helga takes your hand and pulls you away, back to the table where you were seated before. “Don't go anywhere alone tonight.” She whispers in your ear right before walking away.

“What was that?” You're quick to feel the change in the atmosphere, and, looking around, you notice everyone you know is gone, and Ubbe is the only one on the table. “Where is–”

“C'mon.” He quickly says and gets up, and you follow him inside. Everyone is here, and they stop talking when they lay eyes on you.

“Is there a problem?” You're quick to find Ivar, and, the moment you lock eyes with him, you can see how fast his expression changes. From anger to relief. Things turned upside down quickly, and you have no idea what happened.

“The problem is that they are wanderers. They don't fear or respect our rules.” The Queen says, eyeing Ragnar with anger. “I want them gone tomorrow.”

“They will be gone.” He assures, arms crossed.

Still trying to follow, you run a hand through your hair. “Did they do something?”

“No, but they'll try.” It's Bjorn who answers, coming to join you.

Alright, nobody here wants to be clear about it, so what's the point? “I'll go back to the feast so you can solve whatever problem–”

“Those three men were eyeing you all evening.” Bjorn interrupts. “They came to me asking who you were and where you're sleeping. Then they approached you like that. Do you really need me to explain in detail what exactly they'll try to do to you?”

This makes you stop breathing. “I'll keep the door locked then.” You mutter in a low voice, looking down and moving to the hanging table to get something to drink.

“No, you can't be there tonight. Nor alone.” Aslaug speaks as you find the two jars on the table are empty.

“She can stay with me tonight.” Bjorn is quick to offer, and your eyes go wide.

“Can't I stay with Ivar?” The words come out so damn fast it takes your slow brain a while to process what just happened. It was almost involuntary, as if there was something else inside you, like a force of nature, pushing those words out. “O-or Hvitserk?” You add after seconds of silence, a little lower, feeling as your cheeks burn.

Bjorn laughs, exchanging glances with Ragnar. “Ivar can't protect you.” He sounds disgusted, mocking, a hand gesturing at where his younger brother is.

You shouldn't have said that. You're sure Aslaug would arrange for you to move to another room, or maybe even sharing her chambers tonight. But no, you had to make things weird.

“Nobody will hurt her.” When you hear Ivar's reply, your attention turns to him. His eyes are on his brother, who stands a few feet away from you. You've never seen Ivar so angry, not even when you first got here, when he hated you for being a Christian living among them. But now... It's different, it's... Fury.

“Alright. Enough, both of you.” Aslaug stands up, a putting her cup down. “(Y/N), you stay with Ivar or Hvitserk tonight. Ragnar, go tell those disgusting men I want them gone by the morning.” Without saying anything, Ragnar leaves.

Not sure what to do next, you stand by the table, a hand holding the chains. It feels like everyone is expecting something, you're not sure what. You keep staring at Aslaug, who looks like is trying to tell you something you just can't understand.

“I think it's obvious you'll stay with Ivar so I'll just go,” Hvitserk mumbles as he walks by you, giving you a look that makes you want to throw a shield at him. Is he even allowed to have fun at a moment like this? Another obvious thing is that he'll never let it go, until the end of times, Hvitserk will tease you about this night.

“Well...” Ivar says, as he takes his clutch and gets up to his feet. “I think that's it.” You can tell he's ignoring Bjorn because that one can't stop staring. Ivar is playing with his brother, but, when he's near you, it doesn't look like he's playing anymore. Maybe he just got reminded of the reason why this is happening in the first place, and so did you. It's your safety that's at risk here. “C'mon then.” He says in a lower voice, and you nod, starting to follow him.

×

@multific @revolution-starter @crackhead1-800 @youbloodymadgenius @clown-boyyy @kitten0394 @castielsangelx-blog @goldlion07 @midnightmystic @readsalot73 @xvxcarolinexvx @momowhoo @fangfoxy @msrawog @walkingonshunshine @alytavzla @anotherfan07 @heavenly1927

[highwaydiamonds]

So, now that I'm all gradjimatated from cardiac rehab - I took myself over to exercise in the regular portion of the health center ( it's a whole medical/exercise complexy thing. kinda weird but not worth going into) ... I didn't go over Monday but i probably should have but whatever- i didn't - because i had stayed up too late sunday and i kinda just felt like "bleh - monday. don't wanna - don't hafta so i'm not gonna." Which... Is fine. The only one losing out when I don't go is me. It also means I I have to accept that when I don't go I'm not progressing toward my goals. So whenn I decided I would go today (after therapy) it was from a place that wasn't one of obligation or petulance... More just one of, " ok, I'm gonna go and do it - take the opportunity." Doesn't mean I enjoyed doing it, just that I did go and do it and did it for a bit longer like I had wanted to during rehab. Felt like the machine I was on today was hard than the one I used in rehab but it's ok. Also used one of the resistance machines for core stuff and dude - I am WEAK lol. Two dudes way older than I am were using it at higher levels for more reps - had to laugh internally. Room for improvement there methinks.

There are lots of machines I am not familiar with. (Not to mention that there are floors above and below the main level, and the pools. ) I don't know the layouts or locations of stuff or how to use certain things. However, I don't like asking people for help... Asking people for help is hard. (Guess what is another thing we talked about in therapy today... did you guess "asking for help?" you did?! good job- you win an imaginary cookie!) I always struggle with asking for guidance or help because I feel like either I am supposed to know the answer to the question I need to ask or that people will judge me for being stupid along with the judgement i will probably already get about being fat. (cue my therapist asking me " do you think YOU moralize about your weight along with other people?" my reply you ask? It was along the lines of, " oh yeah. I think i do it to myself more than most people probably do to me otherwise... If I think about others logically I know they're likely not thinking about me much at all, but emotionally? My knee-jerk reaction is always that they will be thinking badly of me." So... Did I ask for help today? >.< No. I ALMOST did, but then chickened out. So instead i did my cardio on the stepper that i already knew how to use, and watched some other people use some of the resistance machines with easy sight lines from my machine and did a tiny bit of strength work on those ( just like 2 of them) for a few minutes before i did my ending stretches and that was the hour up. Plan is to go tomorrow and maaaaaaybe I ask someone then. Maybe being there in a different space won't feel as awkward, and I'll feel better about asking for some guidance.

Oh - lastly - sorry i've been quiet here- haven't really beefed up the queue again. I have lots of things to add to it from my likes - but you might be seeing a lot of blog repeats unless i take the time to really do some organizing :/ and honestly, i'm feeling a bit lazy. I'm feeling like i need to something creative but i don't have the space i would need to do messy crafts/art ( so art journaling is kind of out - boo) and right now i could knit but that's not what i really want... I want something that can be colorful and also get some feelings out... if i was any good at drawing/painting I'd do those, but i am so not. Not that I have to be good - I don't but I'm not sure how to express the feelings emotionally if i can't literally express the feelings visually/physically... That is if i can't draw or represent the feelings in color/form on the page does that do anything to help the emotional stew? I suppose the only way to find out is to do it? Hrmmmm - Idk.- we shall see I suppose.

[xpeachesncream]

off the grid | four

summary: it was as simple as swapping places with a stranger from across the world to get away from everything back home. that is - until you meet Jimin. things become more complicated as he unfolds a new chapter in your life that you were initially trying to avoid.

pairing: reader x pjm

genre: post-college au, christmas/holiday au | angst, fluff, smut (to come)

words: 3.0k

chapter warnings: slight cussing, possible inaccurate depiction of transportation, events and whereabouts in South Korea since i only did my research thru the internet, flirty, sweet jiminie so pls tell your heart to be still

> series masterlist <

"Y/N." Jimin whined. "Just stay still for 2 more seconds, please." Jimin laughed at how much you were fidgeting as he rose his polaroid camera. He quickly snapped a photo of you sitting on the ground, in the middle of the white birch tree lane.

"I'm so happy I'm here!" You squealed as you stood up and dusted yourself off. Jimin had taken you to Nami Island for the day, being that you had talked all night about the infamous gingko trees and how beautiful they looked in pictures. Unfortunately, since it was winter, the trees barely had any leaves left, but you didn't mind. You were just happy to be there.

"Okay, come on. There's still so much more to see." He led the way with you following behind him. You continued to walk through the remaining tree lanes before heading over to the gardens and the petit french village.

"Wait, this is so pretty." You gasped, instantly posing in front of one of the colorful replica houses. Jimin snapped his picture before you decided to capture some footage for your instagram and snapchat stories.

"I'm really glad you're enjoying this."

"I hope you are too."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you've probably been here thousands of times. You must be tired of it." He shook his head and pouted.

"Nope." He chuckled. "Absolutely not."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Huh." You scratched your head. "Like Disneyland is a huge staple of LA but I'm tired of it." He shrugged.

"I don't know, this is probably a little different. We're not really waiting hours in line for rides in a super packed amusement park. Plus, waiting under the scorching hot sun? No thanks."

"Very true."

"I just enjoy being out and exploring, even if that means doing it over and over again with you. I don't mind." You smiled. The feeling you felt being around Jimin, the butterflies - you couldn't explain. It felt new, yet unreal, almost like you had to pinch yourself to remember this was actually reality. You were living it right at this moment. How could he exist as the pure, wholesome angel he was? You had no idea, and it caught you off guard every single time.

But you were scared, because when this is all over, what happens? You and Jimin go back to living life before you even knew the other existed? That'll suck.

Fuck that. You weren't trying to think of that now.

"I really do appreciate you taking me around."

"It's nothing." He flashes his pearly whites. Majority of the time, you're running to pose for the camera, already feeling completely comfortable in Jimin's presence. He took you through the village and through the gardens, where you strolled slowly side by side. His arm brushed against yours a couple of times, and you couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to experience a super affectionate and flirty Jimin. The thought kind of intrigued you. What if you were reading too deeply into this? What if he was just really nice and didn't have feelings for you like that? What if—"Y/N." You heard him call your name as he looked down at you and laughed. "Did I lose you?"

"No, sorry, I'm just taking it all in." You chuckled.

"No, that's okay. I was just saying that Jungkook fell into the bushes over there." He pointed at the shrubs.

"Wait, what?"

"He tripped and couldn't catch himself in time so he fell in there. It left an indent." He laughed.

"Are you guys always chaotic when you go out?"

"What, us? Never." He smirked. "Seriously, we aren't. But we do have our moments." His smile instantly fell when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. "Speaking of—" He quickly flashes you his phone, showing Taehyung's name on the screen. "Mind if I pick this up really quickly? Just in case the boys need me to bail them out."

"No, go for it." He smiled toothlessly before picking up the call. You both continued to walk slowly while he spoke to Taehyung on the phone. He began to laugh, his cheeks tinted with a rosy color. He rose his voice and groaned playfully, which was followed by a ton of 'okays,' 'shut ups,' and 'ughs' before finally telling Taehyung he had to go and that he would see them later. "Is everything okay?" You giggled.

"Yeah, they're just being a pain in the ass." He cleared his throat. Little did you know that Taehyung and Seokjin just spent the last couple of minutes teasing the hell out of him about you. "So, the guys wanna head to the ice skating rink tonight and told me to bring you along. Only if you wanna go, of course. No pressure."

"That sounds fun! I'll come. But, I have to warn you. I'm not very good at ice skating."

"It's okay, I'll be there. Taehyung isn't either, nor is Hoseok. I've had to hold them a couple of times." You laughed. "I'd definitely rather hold onto you than them." He quickly looked at you, realizing he let that slip out without catching himself. He felt his cheeks get hot due to the embarrassment that overcame him, but instantly felt relieved when he saw you smile and laugh at the statement. He definitely meant it though. 

"I'll be sure to not be a piece of work tonight."

"Ah, you'll be okay. I believe." The rest of the time at Nami Island was spent walking through the the rest of the garden and going through the Gapyeong Rail Park on a two-seater bike. The view was spectacular and you honestly couldn't picture doing this with anybody else. At the end of the ride, Jimin took you to get some hotteok, which was just the snack you needed after the activities and walking you had done on the island. Before leaving, you saw a musician singing at the entrance while playing his guitar. There was quite a crowd, so you gently pulled Jimin to your side to stand and watch with you.

"He's really good." You clapped quietly to yourself as he wrapped up a song. "You should go sing up there!"

"I don't sing, though."

"Really? So all those times I've heard you, you weren't singing?"

"Mmm, nope. Don't know what you're talking about."

"Please?" You pouted and clasped your hands together. Your pouty face was becoming a huge weakness for him, making it incredibly difficult to say no to you.

"Y/N, I-I don't even know if he's--" You rose your hand and dragged him to the front. You signaled to the musician that Jimin wanted to sing. Jimin politely asked if he could sing a song, which the musician happily stood aside to let him take over the mic. Jimin showed him a song on his phone and asked if he could somehow strum along to the tune. He began to sing We Don't Talk Anymore - Charlie Puth x Selena Gomez, which had your heart skipping a few beats. His voice was the most angelic thing you have ever heard and he looked so fucking good singing. At the end, he smiled sheepishly and thanked the crowd and musician before waddling back over to you. "I hope you feel special."

"Me?!"

"I obviously don't like to put my singing voice out there, but I knew it'd make you happy."

"Why not? You have such an amazing voice."

"I don't know, it's just a fun past time for me. Nothing serious."

"Well, I really like it and I wanna hear more of it." He chuckled and nodded.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Jimin." You whined.

"No promises, princess." He shrugged. "Race you to the car?" He flipped the switch and began to run off before you could even respond. You ran as much as you could because running definitely wasn't your thing, but eventually you made your way to the car, where Jimin was catching his breath.

"See, look at you. All tired from that unnecessary effort." You laugh.

"Good race." He high-fived you before unlocking the car. The ride back would be about 2 hours, so you both would be making it just in time to meet his friends at the ice skating rink. You had fallen asleep without realizing, with Jimin smiling and silently laughing to himself as he glanced over. He made sure the car was warm and comfortable enough for you, before taking one more glance at you. He didn't know how someone could be so effortlessly cute, and it's crazy, because before you came around, he was fine minding his own business. He wasn't looking for love. His last relationship ended a year ago, and he had just been taking it day by day with the boys. No negativity on his end, no bad blood, nothing.

Then, you came along. You came along and changed things for him. Quick, too. He couldn't even explain it, even if he tried. He just knew he had become undeniably attracted to everything about you and he didn't give a fuck about anyone or anything else.

"Y/N." Jimin gave you a gentle squeeze on the arm. "We're here. Are you still okay to ice skate?" You opened your eyes and fixed your position in the passenger's seat, catching his concerned facial expression.

"Yeah, I'm okay." You gave off a good stretch just to fully wake yourself up. "Shoot, I didn't even realize I fell asleep."

"That race to the car really did it to you." He laughed, making you playfully hit him on the arm. Getting out of the car, you both had to walk quite a bit before finally seeing the ice rink in view. The first person you spotted was Taehyung, but he was speaking to another tall gentleman, who was dressed in a plain white tee, light denim jacket, black distressed jeans and black chucks. He had on a black hat, where the brim covered his face pretty well.

"Jimin-ah!" The unknown gentleman yelled as he held his arms out, in which Jimin openly accepted. They hugged each other and patted each other on the back before Jimin turned to playfully smack Taehyung on the arm as his greeting.

"Hey Y/N! I'm glad you came along." Taehyung engulfed you into a hug.

"I can't miss out on ice skating!" You chuckled.

"Y/N, this is my Jin-hyung." Jimin stepped aside as Jin also held his arms out to hug you.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N." He caressed your back as you pulled away. "I'm surprised you're not sick of him yet." He tilted his head towards Jimin.

"Eh, he's not too bad." You joked, watching Jimin shake his head and bite onto his bottom lip. "Where's Jungkook?"

"Buying a snack with Hoseok." Jin replied as he dug his hands into his pockets. "Which reminds me, did you want to eat now or later Y/N?"

"It doesn't matter to me, whenever you guys want."

"Are you okay to hold off until after ice-skating?"

"Yeah!"

"Hey, why don't you ask us?" Taehyung nudged him, making him shake his head.

"It's simple. You guys don't matter. Only Y/N does." Jin winked at you.

"Stop flirting, hyung. It'll make Jimin ma--" Jimin grabbed Tae by the shirt and pushed him against the wall, pretending to beat him up. You bit your lip to prevent yourself from laughing and smiling too big, but you heard that for damn sure. As the two stopped playing and made their way back to you and Jin, Jungkook finally made it back with another gentleman dressed in a black beanie, black and white track pants, a black fitted hoodie, brown coat and sneakers. How in the hell were Jimin and all his friends so damn good looking?! You couldn't understand it for the life of you, but you sure as hell weren't complaining.

"Y/N! Jimin-ssi!" Jungkook yelled as he waddled over to you and hugged you before making his way to Jimin.

"He always calls me like that." Jimin murmured as Jungkook swung him around. Jin laughed and pointed at how ridiculous the two looked on the side.

"Y/N, Hoseok." Jin took the initiative to introduce you while Jungkook and Jimin continued to play around.

"Hi!" Hoseok waved and smiled sweetly. "You can call me Hobi."

"Nice to meet you." You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

"How was Nami Island?" Hoseok walked by your side as you followed the group to get your tickets and skate rentals.

"Fun! It's beautiful."

"Isn't it? I'm glad you were able to go with Jimin. It's definitely a must."

"Yeah, he's been taking me to a couple of places already. I appreciate him enough." Hoseok smirked.

"You two are cute."

"Need any help?" Before you could respond, Jimin interrupted as he walked over, already on his skates. You bent over to slip the skates on, doing your best to tighten the laces as you tied them.

"I think so." You tried to get up, but instantly stumbled on your own two feet, causing Jimin to hold your wrist.

"Woah there." He laughed and held your hands to help stabilize you as you tried to stand. "Good?"

"Yeah, I got this, no biggie." You chuckled nervously. You held onto his arm as he walked you into the rink, where Taehyung slowly took his time to try and get used to the feeling and Jungkook was already skating freely. Jin was accompanying Hobi on the side, giving him words of encouragement to get him to let go of the wall.

"Okay, take it slow and hold onto the wall until you get a feel for it." Jimin stayed by your side as you tried to get your two feet to work properly in the skates. It didn't feel too bad, but every time you got a little too excited, you squealed and clung onto the wall due to your skates betraying you. Jimin laughed and held out his hand. "Come on, you can do this Y/N." You grabbed his hand, your legs stiffening without the support of the wall.

"Ah, Jimin!" You yelped. "Please don't go too fast!"

"We're going a whopping 3 miles per hour. Maybe even less."

"I am not that slow!"

"Highly debatable." He laughed. "But it's cool because you'll become a pro in no time." He reassured you and pointed. "See! We're getting faster. Progress." You started to get the hang of it, releasing the stiffness as Jimin continued to coach you through alternating the movement with your legs. Sooner or later, you were feeling a little more comfortable as you held onto his hand and kept a solid, slow and steady pace.

"I got it!"

"Wanna try to go alone?" At this moment, Jungkook appeared in front of you, holding his hands out, signaling for you try and skate to him alone. He nodded and reassured you, watching as Jimin slowly released his hand from yours. You stood there in a slightly bent position, afraid to move an inch.

"Y/N, I promise you'll be okay! Come to me." Jungkook said. You practiced the movements you had just done not too long ago and quickly grabbed his hands as soon as it was in reach. Because of the abrupt movement to rush over, Kook had to hold onto you to make sure you wouldn't fall, making Jimin laugh.

"So cute." Jimin said as he bent over to grab his stomach while laughing. "Y/N you don't need to rush, we aren't going to leave you."

"I'm just scared!"

"You're doing great! Look at Hobi, he hasn't even left the wall. The kids are skating around him." You laughed as you began to slowly skate on your own, eyeing Hoseok and how frightened he looked while hugging the sides and damn near doing the splits trying to move from point A to point B. Jin had obviously given up on reassuring the guy, leaving him to do whatever he pleased to do at this point. You had gained more confidence as time went on, skating on your own with Jimin popping by your side every now and then. It made the hour and a half go by rather quickly, but you all were starving by the end of it.

The group decided to walk down the street to a nearby boba cafe that apparently also had really good rice bowls and snacks. The walk wasn't too bad, but your jacket wasn't thick enough to mask the cold. Jimin had taken notice of you shivering, peeling off his coat without hesitation to put on your shoulders.

"Here." He says as you grab the coat to wrap it around you tightly.

"Aren't you cold?"

"I have this cardigan on, I'll survive. I'm used to this." He smiled down at you. Entering the cafe, you all had ordered your food and drinks and sat on the barstools near the wall. Jimin stood in front of you, while Jungkook and Hoseok sat on the remaining stools next to you. Jin and Taehyung pulled up some chairs from a nearby table, and you all had faced each other to talk about the day and everyone's whereabouts. Not to mention, there was a whole Hoseok roasting session due to his performance on the ice today. Jin had discussed his plans for his late birthday celebration coming up and demanded ever so politely that you grace him with your presence.

Getting home later that night, you felt exhausted to the bone. But, you had a ton of fun and really enjoyed spending more time with Jimin and his friends. The loft was quiet, only bringing in sounds from the cars out on the nearby streets. You revisited your photos and videos from the day, smiling to yourself at the memories you were able to capture, especially of Jimin enjoying himself and having fun with you.

[Y/N] 11:38: I know I say this time and time again, but I really do appreciate everything you've been doing for me, Jimin.

[Jimin] 11:39pm: You're welcome, cutiepie. Glad you're enjoying yourself. Get a good night's rest for me. I'll see you tomorrow.

Alexa, play: Good Company x Mahalia